#i resent this hellsite

[no6secretsanta]

Happy belated Secret Santa 2023 to kerminty from @i-resent-this-hellsite! I'm sorry it took me so long and I'm already drawing you something else too.

[florbelles]

CELEMINA GREINATUS + having a normal one [six/∞]

[lacertae-dreamscape]

It's my 13 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

[occasionalsnippets]

Drew these when i first read it, i just kind of figured that fd!mc would have short her for her time as Robin

!! i love them <3 <3 !! I think they'd probably cut their hair when they start filling in as Robin. Their hair gets shorter, Tim's get longer so it kinda evens out over time asldkajhsd

[sillygoofyqueer]

AUGH AUGH AUGH AUGH [sounds of me dying the longer I go without writing about the mad scientist AU] Nie Huaisang has just received a message written in blood via a crow that does NOT look alive, likely from Wei Wuxian due to the reference of what his sect is like, similar to how he first approached Nie Huaisang with a message. He isn't quite sure what to do - he should go to his brother at least with this information, but he is very busy planning the war with Lan Xichen and Nie Huaisang doesn't want to cause any more stress for them. So! He instead goes to Lan Wangji, who is, as always, helping out in the medical tents whenever he's not on the battlefield. Instead of saying anything that could draw attention to the situation, Nie Huaisang just waves him over and then shows off the yin filled - almost definitely dead - crow, before gesturing for them both to leave the medical tent. Lan Wangji goes without question.

Nie Huaisang shows him the message and is like "so uhh I'm pretty sure this is from Wei Wuxian." "Why is it written in blood?" "he's in the Burial Mounds, you can't expect him to have ink." Lan Wangji concedes this point, and wants to know why he is being told this, so Nie Huaisang explains that to have a batshit insane Wei Wuxian on their side would be very damn useful. Issue is, they need to find the Wen siblings and Xue Yang and get them to safety in order to get his support in the war, and Lan Wangji is great for field missions during this lull in the fighting. It's not like Nie Huaisang is going out!! He works best behind the scenes, after all.

Of course, Lan Wangji is more than desperate to make up for the mistakes he made by not attempting to help Wei Wuxian when he first had a chance to, so he goes out of his way to hunt for the Wen siblings and Xue Yang, chasing down information in a way that is basically like what he was doing during those three months in canon. He finally learns that they are in the supervisory office of Yiling, and goes on over there to collect them - and take back Yiling in the process. Yes, there is a thought of how close Wei Wuxian really was to his family all along, but it's overshadowed by the realisation that they need to explain to Nie Mingjue and Lan Xichen what's been going on while they've been busy plotting and planning to save the Jianghu.

Lan Wangji makes the executive decision to bring it up during a meeting, and there is varying degrees of skepticism to the news. Nie Mingjue and Lan Xichen are open to the chance of a changing tide in the war, plus they owe Wei Wuxian the protection of his family after they so carelessly overlooked him before he was thrown into the Burial Mounds. Jin Zixuan is like "I said right from the start that he was brainwashed, but nobody believed me!" so he's willing to take the risk of harbouring three wen associates if it means being proven right through the powerhouse that could be Wei Wuxian. (I should explain that they believe that he must be pretty powerful right now because one, he's actually survived in the Burial Mounds, and two, he's had previous work with resentful energy, he had to be getting up to some kind of work in the hellsite.)

Jiang Fengmian is like "I don't know all that much about him, but he did save Jiang Cheng's life, and he's the son of my bestie" but Yu Ziyuan (who is obviously there because why wouldn't she be) is NOT having it. Why would she? She's a hater. She's saying all sorts of insults n shit, but Lan Wangji basically left the moment he got assent from all of the actual sect leaders, so it's all for naught in the end. Lan Wangji is too busy showing up to the supervisory office in Yiling with a small group of soldiers, kicking ass and taking names like there's no tomorrow. Xue Yang, who is quite rabid at the moment, is watching the carnage and being like "I'm going to fucking kill anyone who touches Wei-gege's notes" while Wen Ning and Wen Qing are getting ready to escape. Lan Wangji catches them in the act but is like "we're here to help" and shows them the note that the crows sent.

The lads (Wen siblings + Xue Yang) realise that Wei Ying is alive and go through so many different emotions but they don't have time to unpack all of them - Xue Yang wants to go into the Burial Mounds himself to collect Wei Ying, but Wen Qing shuts that down. They don't know how Wei Ying survived, and they have no clue if Xue Yang would survive. It's best to just let Wei Ying come back to them, like a stray puppy. Xue Yang does not like this, so Wen Qing instead gets him with a needle and Wen Ning carries him along, used to this turn of events. (Yes I have decided that Wen Ning is the shy but sweet brawns to his older sister's brains. He's not not smart or anything, I just think it'd be neat.)

Meanwhile, the crows are watching all around because they're in Yiling, and they report back to an anxiously awaiting Wei Ying, who has been pre-emptively gathering an army of resentful spirits who could find closure in fighting and violence and death. He's helping them all be chill through a gentle melody session, and the Burial Mounds is dragging more spirits into Its grounds to help out Its precious son! Wei Ying learns that his family is not only alive but close to him, and is simultaneously kicking himself while also thanking the Gods that they are alive and they're going to be safe in the grasps of the Sunshot Campaign. With that knowledge handed to him, he feels a lot calmer as he squares his shoulders, pushing all the pain to the side and focusing on the army of resentful spirits he has created.

Oh, the Wen won't know what hit them.

[medusas-daughter]

In honour of Ginny & Georgia season 3 coming out to day it is my god given duty to reiterate that if you LOVE Georgia and HATE Ginny you're racist. I'm not gonna hold your hand while saying this you're just racist. You can have preferences over characters. But HATING Ginny and thinking she's a spoiled brat who doesn't deserve her mom who's an angel who can do no fault is racist. Also Georgia would whoop your ass for bad mouthing her daughter just saying.

Did Ginny have a better childhood than Georgia did? Yes, she did. And that's what Georgia wanted. She doesn't consider her daughter a spoiled brat, if she could have spoiled her more she would have. Also, objectively, she's not a spoiled brat, she lived under the poverty line and in a very unstable environment for most of her very short life. She's a fucking teenager. And guess what teenagers do, they fight witht heir parents. That's biological. You hit the age of thirteen and you start fighting with your parents, especially the parents you see every single day. The ones you see once a year get spared and think they're more loved. But ti has nothing to do with love, that's just teenager psychology. And villainizing teenagers for it sucks. Tearing into a black teenager for it is just racism.

Did Georgia do everythign she could for her kids? Yes. Was she a traumatised teen mom in over her head making it up as she went? Yes. Did she makes mistakes? Yes. Did she make them with bad intentions? No. Is Ginny allowed to resent the mistakes that impacted her and traumatised her? Yes. Is she allowed to hate her mom? This question is irrelevant because Ginny loves Georgia so much and if you can't see that again your racism and misogynoir is blinding you.

They are both complex female characters navigating incredibly complex situations and I love them both. And you're allowed to prefer one over the other I'm not the fandom police. But the way yall try so hard to villainize a literal child is just racism. So if you're gonna come on this hellsite and gush over Georgia keep Ginny's name out of your mouth.

[gregs-house]

I got my back brace. I hate my life, but at least I have this blog -AJ

Pain, resentment, and internet validation. The sacred trifecta.

I'm sure there's some people reading this saying "Good, you're one of us, now. Welcome to the spine-straightening apocalypse."

Well... let me just say, chronic pain is a full-time job with no benefits and no raises.

But here's the thing, AJ. You're still here. You're wearing the damn brace. You showed up. And if this hellsite of sarcasm and drama keeps you upright, then so be it.

Exist out of spite.

I'll be here, limping with you.

[gunsatthaphan]

✌🏻✨ ~ 2023 wrap-up ~ ✨✌🏻

another year gone, another post no one asked for djkghdf

I normally don't talk about personal stuff on here but like in the previous year I wanted do a little recap and give shoutouts to some lovely people 🧡

It hasn't been an easy year for me, I started a new job which has been stressful and annihilated my work-life balance which resulted in me being sick a lot & just being stressed for most of the year lol. I barely found time to maintain this blog which may not seem like it on the outside since I somehow managed to frequently post but it's been difficult. I know I don't have to be online 24/7 but the fear of slipping into irrelevancy due to lack of content remains. I didn't have much time to watch bls & asian shows in general which I still consider my safe space and escapism so I'm resentful that I didn't get to fully take in and enjoy the things I'm passionate about and make content about them like I did in the previous years. That being said thank god for all the weekend shows that I did manage to watch and fully focus on like Only Friends and now Cooking Crush and Cherry Magic. Those have been life savers lol and also thank god for all the talented creators who gave us tons of content; I will mention some of them below.

But aside from my personal schedule and despite not watching a lot of stuff, I still tried to keep an eye on what's going on in the BL world for my monthly breakdowns, which I still enjoy making and I will likely continue them in 2024. I also came to the conclusion that 2023 ended up being another rendition of quantity > quality in the BL-verse so not much has changed lol - not that I expected it to. We got a wild and extended mix of different genres and subgenres this year which was nice to see. We saw companies & actors experimenting a lot (with varying results), we got new ships, new fandoms and new enemies, as well as a variety of comebacks and retirements. My watchlist this year was limited to Thai BLs and my blog mostly consisted of gmmtv related content and like I said, if I had had more time I probably would have explored more different shows - but I eventually resorted to what's familiar. I guess I needed an anchor in midst of all my personal chaos lol.

But despite my short list, there were a few gems that I enjoyed. The big ones like Only Friends, Moonlight Chicken, Be My Favorite, etc., and the small, less popular ones like Be Mine Superstar, Mission Fan Possible and a few more. I enjoyed talking to friends & making content about them in the limited timeframes I had. My opinions mostly matched those of the general public but unfortunately there were a few disappointments that were bathing in a success that I could not wrap my head around - Dangerous Romance and A Boss and a Babe being at the top of that list, followed by La Pluie and also a few of the lakorns I watched. But anyway.

Anyone who knows me knows my blog has been 83% FirstKhao this year lmao, they're my favorite people in this industry and watching them act, interact & making content about them has been one of my highlights. I'm excited to see what 2024 brings for them and even if it's not a series, I'm looking forward to seeing what else they will be up to 🥺 🐈‍⬛ 🐈

I'm going into 2024 with mixed feelings but above all I hope I will get the chance to expand my watchlist a little. I will post a personal top10 of the shows I watched this year shortly; until then I want to talk a bit about some lovely people this year - I’m not good with words lmao but thank you for being you and making this hellsite a better place 🥹 lol.

@leonpob - bestie!!! 🧡 our BL opinions have drifted apart this year lmao but who's to say friendships are solely based on mutual opinions. You're the best, stay the way you are and here's to another year of sharing thoughts and hopefully finding more shows to watch together (no matter if trash or not lol) 😉😘  @mayalunas - ahhhh I loved talking to you sooo so much this year, we agree on so many things that I'm convinced we share the same BL braincells lmao. You're one of my favorite people on this website, thank you for being such a good listener and a positive & supportive person to talk to 🥺 I hope you have the best 2024!!! ily!!! 🧡 @khunvegas - GURL idk where you went this year or if you still exist sdjkds but just know I haven't forgotten about you and I miss our talks 🥺 come back pls thank. @my-wandering-rabbit - I love our random out-of-context talks once a month lmao, I appreciate you and I hope we will continue our ritual of me watching shows and you asking me questions without watching them kjsdhg @bl-recs-and-reviews - Bestie!!! I love our catch-ups on Discord, you were one of the first people I ever talked to like 4 years ago? crazy. look at us. I still love you, you're the sweetest and I love talking to you 🧡🥺 @dreamedofyou - ahh I absolutely love your blog!!! I noticed you a lot in my notifications this year so I wanted to say thank you so much for interacting with my unhinged content (mostly FK related lmao) - We haven't talked a ton but I think of you as a very nice person and I hope we can talk more next year 🥹🫶🏻

and then of course some more shoutouts go out to all the wonderful and talented creators out there; I will never be able to tag all of you so sorry in advance but here are a few that I appreciate, some of which have also mentioned me in their wrap-up posts so thank you for that!!!

@taeminie @seatawinan @loveisactivated @forcebook @jimmysea @guzhu-furen @daymork @itsallaboutbl @seatawinans @blneobin @blmpfff @wanderlust-in-my-soul @pranpat @milkpansa @raypakorn @ahxu-laowen @forcebookish @forcebookcorner @morkofday @chinzillas @seajimmy @dimpledpran @i-got-the-feels @bengiyo @benkaaoi @25shadesoffebruary @moonkhao @smittenskitten @respectthepetty @earthfluuke @pharawee @khaotunq @khaotunqs @pranink @gabrielokun @piningintrovert @zhaozi @markpakin @firstkanaphans @firstforkhao @khaotungsfirst @wen-kexing-apologist @firstkpp @firstmix @bunnakit @khaothanawat @alienwlw @ffirstkhao (I can't tag the last 4 for some reason..)

have the best 2024!!!

🧡🧡🧡

[deoidesign]

okay so ages ago on the Bird Hellsite I saw someone make a coat entirely out of worm on a strings so now we have that incredibly cursed mental image right. My question to you is who in the TTA cast would be most likely to wear that thing and why is it Steve?

Oh, I met someone who did that a few years ago! Might have been the same person tbh.

I think a number of the minor characters would happily wear it, but the one most likely to make it would be Ash from the ghost hunting arc. Steve would wear it too, but Adam could make it work.

I had a grudge for years against worm on a string though... It was 2014. Flying across the country with my art class for the final judging of a competition. New York City, baby. Every day was constant activity; always going to a different event, a different activity, a different project...

And the stage was set: A small budget for the ILNY tourist store, two exhausted teenagers, and a misleading ad. The sound was off, and without captions we were left to assume... And we believed if the worms got wet, they would squirm. It made sense why they were $20 with technology like that.

Me and my best friend bought the worm on a string. We named him... Hal. It was all we talked about that day, the anticipation of getting back to the hotel.

Finally we get to our room. I was more excited about this than about being in the top 5 for a contest with a $50,000 prize. We opened the package, deterred by none of the signs, confirmation bias in full force... What's this string? Oh, it must be so they don't squirm away and get lost!

Fools.

Two fools standing over the bathroom sink, Hal in ones hands, and the other turning on the faucet. Nothing. A gentle shake of the lifeless soggy body. Still nothing.

And then the dawning realization: The worm was never gonna squirm around. We were duped.

How could we let that go... For years, I didn't.

I've since developed a fondness. It was never Hal's fault. We were exhausted, not thinking straight, and we blamed him for our own failure. I can only try to make amends... But I truly believe Hal never held resentment in his fuzzy blue heart.

Anyways we got second place and then the next year we won but that's less important.

[tavina-writes]

This is entirely copied from my reblog of this post, but I just thought I'd put this in a post of my own for safekeeping on this hellsite or I'd literally never find the translation of Xingnv's Lament I did for this reblog ever again but. Anyway!

Whenever I think about the fact that like, people claim historical people grieved less about child and infant mortality I want to start biting because here's the translation of the Cao Zhi's poem on losing a daughter (yes the Cao Zhi of the infamous bean poem/Seven Step Quatrain fame) written sometime in the 200s AD: 行女哀辞

序：行女生于季秋，而终于首夏。三年之中，二子频丧。 伊上帝之降命，何修短之难哉；或华发以终年，或怀妊而逢灾。 感前哀之未阕，复新殃之重来！方朝华而晚敷，比晨露而先晞。 感逝者之不追，情忽忽而失度。天盖高而无阶，怀此恨其谁诉！

Xingnv's Lament

Preface: My youngest daughter, Xingnv, was born in late autumn and died in early summer of the following year. In just three years, two beloved daughters died one after another. The heavens grant precious life to people, yet why is the length of that life so hard to guess Some people are fortunate to live to old age, others die young in the womb I have yet to finish grieving for Jinhu*, yet I have to see Xingnv** buried in dust This poor child falls like the hibiscus, life drying like the morning dew I thought of that young life that could never return, and lose my normal composure Resenting that the heavens have no stairs for me to climb, to pour out the sorrows of my heart

*Jinhu is the first child that he mentioned

**Xingnv is the daughter he dedicated this poem to

Like! DESPITE what people will tell you people often grieved their children, yes, even daughters which, historical fiction SO often say that fathers hated having Girl Children or whatever. We only know Cao Jinhu and Cao Xingnv's names because their father wrote them down. And grieved their absence.

"Resenting that the heavens have no stairs for me to climb" is SO bleak and so utterly fucking devastating.

[arcforbaes]

question for you : how would you describe care's relationship with elena and bonnie? <3

oh, i am so glad you asked! but it got long bc rambling is a Caroline thing, so...........

RANDOM ASKS FROM MY WIFE: forever accepting. - @salvatoraes

you know me, so you know i absolutely love caroline's friendships, especially with bonnie and elena. but i will be the first to say neither of those relationships was always sunshine and rainbows - we got a glimpse of those angsty moments on the show, but i think it goes deeper than that. from what we know, those three have known each other since diapers. they've been there for one another through everything, from missing teddy bears to first heartbreak. caroline always felt like she was part of the best trio in mystic falls... until she didn't.

in my opinion, she's always been closer to elena than bonnie. it's not that she doesn't love bonnie or wouldn't die for her because she definitely would - especially towards later seasons -, but caroline always thought bonnie was smarter and just... better, in a way caroline would never be. she admired her, but it also meant trying not to be her little caroline self as much for fear of judgment. their relationship evolved a lot throughout the show and, by the end, i see bonnie being someone caroline calls at least once a week - it used to be every two days, but she toned it down - and constantly visits and travels with. their lives are weird, but they lean on one another.

now, elena is tricky. we know that caroline was jealous of her, but i'm a firm believer that it wasn't always like this. caroline, out of all of them, was the one who cared about popularity and status the most. she wanted to be popular, wanted the attention, and wanted to be seen. she worked hard for those things, while it just happened for elena. it all came naturally: the attention from boys until she started dating matt, girls wanting to befriend her. and the worst part? elena didn't seem to notice or care. so yeah, caroline got jealous and resentful, but she never stopped loving elena.

as time went on and shit happened in their lives, i feel like caroline realized being jealous and scared of being herself was, frankly, stupid. (and being a vampire certainly allowed her to grow and accept herself, control freak tendencies and all) i'm not saying she woke up one day and decided she was done feeling the way she felt, because it wasn't that easy. but it happened eventually. elena and bonnie are the closest thing she has to sisters, and, like sisters, they fight and scream, but they will always be there for each other.

NOW THIS IS WHERE I GET SALTY . . . ( proceed with caution )

i might be biased because i am arguably the biggest caroline elizabeth forbes stan on this blue hellsite, but i think the s1!caroline hate is so... dumb lol. i've seen people complaining about how annoying she is, but ??? she is literally acting like a 17 y/o girl. unlike bonnie and elena, she doesn't find out about the supernatural world until season two. she hasn't been exposed to any of that yet, so of course her priorities are hooking up with cute guys and being popular. she is a shallow, self-centered teenage girl. it's pointless to expect her to understand why her best friends are acting weird and cagey when she. doesn't. know. about. vampires. and. witches !!!

i could ramble a lot more but i will stop myself. thank u for the question tho lol

friendly reminder that these are my opinions, and it's okay if you don't agree.

[ariadne-mouse]

I really appreciate what tumblr is trying to do with Communities but truly the way they roll out most new features is SO clunky and hostile (in a user acceptance sense). Like the Communities option has been in the sidebar menu for ages but still only has "create new" as an option so you can't browse from there, but you also can't move or hide it if you're not in any communities. It's in the very space-limited menu on mobile too, but same issue - it's not a hub, it's a place where communities that you make or join will be listed, and therefore useless and frustrating if you don't have any. Search function for communities is improving but there is still no place to actually browse, it's just hit or miss searching for things you might be interested in. And now there is the "Suggested Communities" block in the drop down of the search bar on desktop, which also cannot be changed (either to hide or an "I'm not interested" feature) pushing the followed tags which I actually use further down the menu. Look tumblr I know I have "mouse" in my user handle but I do not actually want to join a community just because it has "mouse" in the header name, and there is no way for me to get this out of my suggested communities, and so I just slowly, incrementally resent the feature as it continues to minutely clog up useful functions without providing benefit or a meaningful entry point. I love this hellsite (affectionate) but sometimes it can be very hellsite (derogatory).

[painfullymeta]

Warning: I'm Gonna Be Earnest Now

I am deep in my feels right at the moment so I am actually making a post of my own on this, the deep in my feels hellsite.

I am late GenX.  (Not quite what gets called Xennial IMO but definitely in what gets called the Oregon Trail (Micro)Generation.)  And for all you young whippersnappers, you have to understand "The past is a foreign country: they do things differently there.” ( - L. P. Hartley)

I am old enough to remember when AIDS was named GRID.  ("Gay-related immune deficiency.”)  I am old enough to remember ACT-UP, the Reagans’ abandonment, “If I die of AIDS just leave me on the steps of the FDA”, all those things that tired older people on tumblr try to remind people of when the TERFs come around to tell us to stop saying “queer” as if Queer Nation was a goddamn hallucination I had when I was a kid.

On the last day of high school, after the last exam, when none of us would have to ever see each other again if we so chose – that was the day that one of my friends, someone I had eaten lunch near every day since partway through freshman year, said to me “I have something to tell you.  I’m gay.”  And then he followed it up with “Is that okay?”

I hugged him.  He broke my goddamn heart and I hugged him.  "Is that okay," he asked me. Is it okay to be who I am, near you.

I was in college before I met someone who identified herself as a lesbian — and I went to a women’s college until I lost my shit and dropped out, and I expect that if I hadn’t done that I might have gone longer.

(Of course at the same time as I was clueless and not meaningfully connected with any sort of queer culture I somehow wound up with a friendgroup who, if we got bored and couldn’t come up with anything else to do, would watch the Rocky Horror Picture Show together.  This is what we did instead of going to Homecoming.)

By 2000, I was vaguely aware of trans things existing, and in fact met my first trans person while at Brighton Pride that year, though we didn’t really speak (I was there as the guest of some people in his extended social group) and I was vaguely confused and too awkward to try to do more than ‘observe and try not to fuck this up’.  I met a nonbinary person for the first time around then as well, and zie was the only one I knew of for nearly a decade.

By the mid-oughts I was with it enough to ask someone what pronouns she wanted me to use for her before sharing something about her on a message board.

(I am also old enough to have spent time on multiple message boards.  I’m old enough to resent the internet going through the world wide web instead of email and usenet actually.)

Sometime in the early oughts I guess I was at the subcommittee hearing in the Boston State House that was discussing, among other things, whether we might consider possibly condescending to allow same-sex couples to marry.  I was even going to testify!  (Please be impressed with my early twenties autistic ass I was terrified.)  There was a guy there - a senator on the committee - who was asking every person who came up if they were going to force his church to marry the gays.  Catholic, y’know, this being Massachusetts.  I revised my speech in my head to note that if we weren’t forcing the Catholic churches to marry divorcees yet he didn’t need to worry about it.

(Then my nose decided to haemhorrage all over my entire life and I couldn’t get it to stop bleeding so rather than testify while looking like an entire murder victim I went home.)

I was in my thirties when pregnancy-induced dysphoria made me start seriously thinking about my own sense of gender.

I was in my forties before I bought a binder.

I am from another fucking planet.  (The past is a foreign country.)

I know kids - multiple kids - who knew enough to identify as lesbians at an age younger than I think I knew that word.  (And I am one of those humans of freakish and unreasonable vocabulary and always have been.)

I crack jokes with one of my kids about the Queer Kids Stairs at their school, because that’s where the GSA kids hang out together after activities get out.  (While GSAs were around while I was a kid, they started in Massachusetts according to Wikipedia and that is not where I was when I was a kid, and to my best recollection I didn’t hear about them existing at all until I was an adult.)

I live in a world where my social circles include queer people of my generation, of older generations, of younger generations, and oh my gods, I look at the kids and my heart tries to explode.

My oldest knows more than one trans kid.  More than one *affirmed* trans kid.  (And we’ve talked a bit about the social dynamics that might make it more likely for the trans boys to be out than the trans girls, even now.)

And I’m writing this because of one of those trans boys, who is in the Coming of Age group at our church, and who is, apparently, in his credo, citing that thing I’ve seen on the tumblrs more than once, about how being trans means being a participant in the holy, divine process of creation, coming into being as himself.

And guys?

I’m not from the same planet as that kid.

Because I’m in my forties and I don’t even know what I’m creating.  And I’m terrified.

And here’s this kid coming out there with that as a core statement of belief that he’s prepared to stand up in front of, as the phrase goes ‘God and everyone’, to claim.

(I need to remember to talk to him about how in my Craft tradition there’s a canonically transmasc god.)

I know I’ve got at least two teenagers reading me and I just.  Y’all got this.  I know it’s hard and the world is scary and it’s fucking coming for us all but you are amazing and I am so full of inarticulate alexithymic feelings about all of you. The ones I know and the ones I don't.

We've come a long way from "Is that okay?" and you heal my broken heart.

[assortedseaglass]

It’s my birthday! To celebrate, I’m giving gifts to some of my favourite people on my favourite hellsite. There’s been a fair amount of hate, despondency and general sad vibes here lately, so let’s combat that!

@arcielee

I mean, honestly, where do I begin?

Something special happened the first moment you comment on a fic of mine. I went down a complete rabbit hole of reading, and while all of your work is incredibly special to me, Silver Coins and Peace Beneath the City are always on my favourites list.

Your writing is utterly spellbinding. You have a knack for understanding characters that I truly admire (and slightly resent hehe). The way you put them in situations that always feel true to character and canon, while making them entirely unique is a real gift.

And your prose! Good Lord, it's exceptional. The fluidity and ease of your sentences makes all your writing a joy to read. It's clear that you are a natural born writer, and that so much love and thought has gone into your craft. The way you use language to reflect the content and context of a piece of work is second-to-none, and if people want a clear example of this then please read Her Salvation, His Damnation. A story about seduction, lust, guilt, death, and the writing is seductive, sexy and heart wrenching. I felt pulled towards this amazing woman, as Osferth did. Just spectacular.

Aside from your incomparable writing, you are an incredible friend. You always have the time to listen to me. Whether I'm exceedingly thirsty heheh, cannot find the motivation to write, need to work out some issues or just want to chat, there's no-one I'd rather do it with than you. 💗

From the bottom of my heart, thank you for inspiring me, helping me be better and always being there. This isn't enough to say how wonderful you are, and how much you are a part of the whole fandom experience for me, but thank you, thank you, thank you.

H x

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

hurling another enrichment pumpkin at you : any thoughts on how Secrets handles its sociopolitical themes? I haven't had the chance to check the podcast out personally so far but from what I've seen on tumblr it seems to take a much less vague approach to those themes than even Unburied did, and considering how multiple people mentioned that the podcast seems a bit rushed, do you think that affected the handling of this too?

one of the things I did really like was removing any ambiguity as to whether or not we're supposed to interpret this version of the Riddler as a Muslim Indian man, and I think it's fair to assume that by extension that this cements Bruce and Barbara as Black and Latina, respectively. I don't think any of those were really controversial opinions, especially per the fandom I see on our glorious hellsite, but the conformation is cool!

I think exploring the way that Eddie's status as a brown man would contribute to his sense of disenfranchisement and resentment for Society is interesting for sure. it's also used to enable some like... COMPELLING bastard behavior that's very specific to him as a man of color, namely misleading the GCPD to arrest some entirely unrelated Indian man that they can't tell apart from Eddie, and the bit where he's having his little tantrum re: his sister's social climbing and insinuates that she probably has a white husband/boyfriend, which is a thing Asian women are FREQUENTLY attacked for in Asian incel communities. interesting move, I applaud.

I was less impressed by how the series handled its humanization of criminals and incarcerated individuals, which I wrote about a lot on this post about the depiction of Azrael. idk, I like that the rogues look out for each other and we get to see the horrors of realizing that you're so dehumanized by society that your vicious murder becomes a meme, that's a perspective on Gotham's rogues that I feel we don't get a lot! but the series seemed to waffle pretty hard on its own stance on this, Batman seems to be operating a pretty different wavelength than he was at the end of Unburied (he's soooo much more of a cop), and I also genuinely don't know what to do with the reveal that this version of King Tut was running a sex cult, especially since literally the only person who criticized him for that was. you know. also responsible for several brutal murders.

at risk of harping on this too much it feels very strange that a series would be so invested in the humanity of villains and then also have an actual antagonist who's as one note as Azrael is made out to be and gets offed with so little fanfare. the series' other big issue seems to be coming down hard on the side of "we hate violent Christian fundamentalists, they're Bad" and like. yeah, I agree, and that obviously ties in very closely with exploring racism and Islamaphobia that the Riddler has grown up experiencing, but as I said in the other post it's also uuuuuh very weird to make Jean-Paul the narrative scapegoat for far right fundie Christians when, in the comics, that's not his bag at all. he's a dangerous and careless Batman, sure, but he's also very much a victim of the Order of St. Dumas, and it feels like both a sloppy use of the character and a WILDLY missed opportunity to explore the church as a corrupt system akin to Strange's medical abuses in Arkham and everything about the GCPD. idk, it feels like Secrets in the Dark just really jettisoned much more interesting potential stories building on Unburied's themes in favor of a much more black and white narrative.

tl;dr I cannot believe that Secrets in the Dark has forced me to point to David S. Goyer as a comparative paragon of nuance and taste!!! what!!!

[moonlight-emo]

Stigmus: The Strangeness

So... This is my first post, I don't know how this hellsite works but I'm gonna try anyways.

I'll format these posts a bit weird, the title is basically the name of the setting this is from followed by the thing about that world I'm trying to explain since my blog is going to be mostly about the worldbuilding I've done.

I'll start with an old setting I don't use anymore, mostly because I lost all of it to a dumb mistake.

The Strangeness was a weird phenomenon that took place in Stigmus where information would randomly disappear. Not only from books and the walls of ruins but also from people's minds which meant that everyone lived in fear of suddenly forgetting their loved ones or other things that meant a lot to them.

This obviously shaped a lot of the culture in the world for example most people saw being a historian as a lost cause, since the information you spent your whole life gathering could someday be completely erased from existance. Your entire life's work, gone in an instance to a whim of fate. Despite this, many still pursued history believing it was worth it, if history was erased so be it but they would gather as much of it as they could and teach it to the world.

The origin of The Strangeness was... Well, strange (Please forgive me) it all began with a king who had taken his crown really early in life with the death of his father. He didn't really know how to lead a country and so his counselors, the eleven archmages of the Regnum, basically leaving him to be an extremely powerful idiot who wasn't really good at much. But he eventually fell in love and had a beautiful daughter, though this was at the expense of his lover who died at childbirth despite all the resources and magic at his disposal. He promised the man he loved (I... I don't think I need to clarify this, but it was a trans man... That's why he could birth) that he would take care of his daughter even if it meant destroying the world for her. To his dismay when his daughter was barely thirteen years old she fell ill to a terrible disease nothing could cure, there was no medicine, potion nor healing magic that could deal with such terrible ailment that had the girl bedridden for years. Eventually, desperate, the king started investigating old myths and legends until he found something that, if real, could work: The legend of the Wish Stone.

You see, despite being a DnD setting, there isn't such a thing as a wish spell in Stigmus; there aren't genies or similar creatures. The idea of something altering reality to such degree is ridiculous to the people of this world. But through a lot of research and resources the king eventually found his way to a continent lost to time where the stone waited to be rediscovered in some ancient ruins. The king made his wish holding the stone and with tears on his eyes "Cure my little girl, whatever it takes" and the stone granted his wish. Though the king's research never told the him that within the stone resided a guardian; a guardian who had grown bitter and resentful a creature simply named "Wish" who, for every wish made with the stone, got a wish for themselves. And so, with the king's wish, the guardian's plan was set in motion and the first step was to plunge the world into chaos, to make sure it could not organize against the plan.

The wish of the guardian was simple; to make the world be just as the king thought it was. Most countries became mere shadows of what they actually were and the information of the world, having to go all through a normal man's head, sometimes got lost and sometimes simply forgotten as his brain couldn't manage it. With all this happening, the king fell ill himself, bedridden as his mind couldn't really process what was happening to it.

Maybe I'll tell Wish's story sometime, it's a doozy.