#i remember that one time i ran away
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I will always admire people who can talk to a large audience confidently or at least someone who can mask their nervousness... like aventurine lol. But anyway, it's not a lie 😭 guys, i can't talk to many people without anxiety and nervousness creeping behind me. It's not even the day of the presentation, but i'm already feeling stressed??? Oh gosh, this is just so bad. I can't do this 😭🙏 i think i'll just push somebody else to do the presentation-
#reli-rambles#i wanna dig a hole or go somewhere else to escape everything#i can't for God's sake talk in front of so many people#i'm so anxious#oh gosh#my friends are telling me that i can#but i know i CAN'T.#it's not an exaggeration#i remember that one time i ran away#pls#it wasn't even smth big#well it IS#but#uh#😭😭😭#i had a panic attack#so yeah#what better way than to run away yk lmao haha yeah#😭#hikssss
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if sif's island is still physically there, there could be an argument that the inhabitants are also still there and perfectly fine, and the island is just separated from the outside world. the island's separation from the rest of the world happened while sif was on that boat after running away from home. so in this theoretical situation, from sif's parents' pov, they actually ran away and never came back.
do you think their parents ever wonder what happened to them or what he's doing now. if he's living his life away from them in the outside world, eating all the non-veggies to his content, or if something bad happened and that's why they never came back. do you think they tried to go after him, but forgot everything immediately after leaving the island, and are now just living their lives in vaugarde or somewhere else, not knowing that they got there because they went looking for their missing child or that they had a child in the first place. do you think they ever ran into each other at some point and had no idea of their relation to one another.
#in stars and time#isat#siffrin isat#isat siffrin#there's also the thing that siffrin isn't his birth name. so even if their parents managed to remember they wouldn't have much luck#in terms of finding them because theyre going by a different name so asking around would be useless... there's only the seeing him in perso#it probably wouldn't be hard to find sifs appearance bc his likeness would be like. spread all over bc he was one of the saviors.#but would they even recognize him? I think it would be more likely for his appearance to be spread around as paintings rather than pictures#and there would inevitably be inaccuracies with the portrayal and stuff...#but if they did recognize him. there's still no real easy way to find him bc he's yknow. traveling. and sif themself doesn't remember them#and it's also been so long between when sif ran away and present day post canon. would they even remember what sif looked like back then?#there are so many ways this could go ahhhh.
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"Orihime being afraid of Ichigo's hollow power shows she doesn't fully accept him."
I see this take and similar ones pop up from anti fans of Ichigo and Orihime and try to say that Orihime is bad, in the wrong, etc. for being afraid of his hollowfication powers when her first encounter with a hollow was her brother Sora.
I know the anime did a lot of damage to Orihime's character - especially by taking these scenes out and altering them compared to the manga - but when Ichigo begins to undergo the same process as Sora, it only makes sense that she's afraid.
Not because she's afraid of Ichigo but because what he can become.
And just like Sora said, "It would be [her] fault"
Also - this is to counter the whole "Ichigo and Orihime were never close/barely friends/just acquaintances" that I see floating around often too.
But all in all - Orihime was never afraid of Ichigo. She was afraid of what he could have become.
As Acidwire, Sora targeted Orihime because of her growing bonds with Tatsuki and Ichigo. He even says that he attacked them because they tried to tear him and Orihime apart and that she already knew why.
For clarity - what I'm about to say isn't me saying that Sora was abusive in life and I'm going to specifically try to use his name as a hollow "Acidwire" as much as possible to express the slight separation between Sora as he was while he was alive and Sora as he was when he became Acidwire.
Especially since early on, it established that hollows - while they were once former humans - often end up being twisted versions of the people they once were.
Now onto the point -
The "You already know why" isn't dissimilar from how abusers, manipulators, etc. often talk to their victims when they're angry or upset. It's similar to the silent treatment in a way where it implies that the victim intentionally made the abuser upset.
He references her prayers for him every day helped ease his own suffering before she became friends with Tatsuki and entered high school before she stopped praying for him altogether. He then says how it hurt him that when she got home, all she would talk about was Ichigo.
For one - the fact that Acidwire knows this proves that Ichigo and Orihime were at least already friends by the time the manga started. In contrast to the anime where Ichigo outright says to Rukia that they've "never had a real conversation"
Anyways - this here in and of itself proves Ichigo and Orihime at least knew each other beyond just acquaintances - because they were close enough for Acidwire to notice and be hurt by it.
She tries to defend herself but he cuts her off before attacking Ichigo again
Acidwire tells her to come with him back to when it was just the two of them. In the context of the story, this would basically be him killing her.
However, this is also a tactic abusers use known as isolation.
When she questions why she should go with him and why he'd hurt Ichigo and Tatsuki before saying that the brother she loved would have never done anything like this.
I feel like in the anime, it kinda breezed by these moments which are honestly heartbreaking in hindsight and key for the leadup to why Orihime was afraid when Ichigo would use his hollow mask.
but Acidwire's response to her refusal and saying that the brother she loved would never do this is to not just harm her, but blame her and say that he is going to kill her.
In the time that she's become friends with Ichigo and Tatsuki and slowly grew happier, Acidwire blamed her for his own despair and sadness.
The kind, loving older brother that she had always known became a monster that would kill her and everyone close to her, and it would be her fault that he did because she stopped praying for him.
Here, it shows how Acidwire views Orihime not as a person who should live her own fulfilling life, but as an object who should live for him because he gave up his entire life to raise and protect her.
Once again, not to say that Sora was an abuser or abusive person, but this line of logic is the same one that abusive and toxic parents often use when it comes to emotionally abusing their children. Saying how the sacrificed so much for their children to control how their children live their own lives when the child never asked to be born. Similarly, Orihime didn't ask to be born or ask for Sora to raise her.
Sora did because that's the kind of person that he is, but Acidwire turns these loving traits of Sora's into a manifestation of abuse.
And even though she has nothing to be sorry for... She apologizes to Acidwire because that's the kind of person she is.
It also shows how she puts on a smile so that way others don't have to worry about her. She didn't want Sora to think that she was sad and hurting, she didn't want him to worry about her so she buried and hid her own sadness.
She apologizes to Acidwire for making him sad and (in what she thinks are probably her last moments) says that she loves him and that she didn't mean to hurt him.
As he's slowly regaining himself, Sora admits that he already knew that Orihime was just trying to shield her sadness from him but still wanted her to pray for him because it was only in those moments that her heart was his.
Ichigo then tells him that it's the same, those who die and those who survive are just as sad as the other.
It's in this moment Sora had fully regained himself, enough to know that he couldn't stay in a form like this or else he'd come to hurt Orihime again. If he killed the little sister that he raised like a daughter over his own heartache, would he have been any better than their own abusive parents?
And finally, the two get to say goodbye properly.
Also - a side note - a lot of people criticize Orihime's passive nature and how she never seems to fight or argue with anyone but it's because the one time that she did have a fight with someone, they died and became a monster.
This entire sequence emphasizes why Orihime always tries to reach out to others in need and never argues or fights. She doesn't want her friends or even strangers, to become like how Sora became Acidwire.
Now, Rukia had changed/erased Orihime's memories following this event but it likely didn't work as intended since during the Rukia rescue arc, Orihime mentions that she's been able to see hollows and spirits ever since the encounter with Acidwire.
Now let's go ahead and jump ahead to VL Ichigo -
Going to Hueco Mundo - Ichigo already knew without having to be told or convinced by anyone that Orihime was in danger. Aizen did his best to make it look like Orihime was a traitor to the Soul Society and Ichigo never bought it
It's being put in plainer and plainer terms that Ichigo transformed as a response to Orihime's call for help.
Even if you want to argue that there was a mistranslation or that Ichigo doesn't directly reference Orihime, even if you remove all of the text the sequence of events goes
Orihime's cries
Ichigo began to move and get up - functionally coming back from being dead
Once again, even if you want to remove the text avoid arguing about whether or not it was properly translated - nevermind the fact that in Japanese pronouns are often omitted and there is a big assumption to just know who/what you are talking about -
Even without text, the images show Orihime crying, and Ichigo beginning to come back to life.
Both she and Ulquiorra question whether that is Ichigo
Now that said, I think that Ichigo vs Ulquiorra is one of the most brutal and best fights in the series. Both Uryu and Orihime know that this isn't Ichigo.
Yet remember how it is established that hollows often become twisted versions of the people they once were? This is a power that Ichigo can't control and yet uses it to protect the person who called out to him.
While I don't disagree with the notion that this is also White protecting Ichigo, it doesn't change the fact that Kubo intentionally drew Orihime and Ichigo rising side by side multiple times. Even without text, Kubo places emphasis on her and her cries for help against VL Ichigo - not White or Zangetsu.
And when Uryu tries to bring him back to his senses what does Ichigo do? Put a sword through him.
Once again, even if you want to remove any and all text, Kubo puts VL Ichigo paneled side by side with Orihime, and when Ichigo comes back to his senses
The first person that he sees is Orihime.
As much as I want, I'll save my yapping about Ulquiorra for a separate time.
But for a moment, even if only briefly, his desires to protect were twisted in a way that hurt those around him, and once again - Orihime was the catalyst.
Ichigo says that he didn't want to win like this - showing that he views fights as something more honorable than what White/VL Ichigo had done. His last memory being that he had a hole put in his chest, also shows that he more or less "blacked out" and had no control over his actions.
What is one of the things established when people become hollows?
That they lose control of themselves and their desires are twisted.
The difference between Ichigo and Acidwire is that Ichigo wants to protect Orihime while Acidwire wanted to own her - which is why Ichigo never directly harms Orihime even as he loses control of himself.
But - all of this yapping is to show how from Orihime's perspective, hollowfication and hollow powers aren't good. They turn people into monsters that hurt their friends and loved ones.
It's also established that Orihime is the type of person who will internalize her own thoughts and feelings (it isn't ""hubris"" as some people call it).
Whether or not you want to argue that it was an assumption that Ichigo became a VL because she cried for help, it doesn't change the fact that she still cried for help and that Ichigo became a hollow/VL.
From her own perspective, she blames herself regardless of whether or not you think that it is an assumption on her part that Ichigo became a VL to protect her.
And after all - why wouldn't she blame herself when her first encounter with a hollow - Acidwire - blamed her for the monster that he became?
I know I skipped over him using his mask in the fight with Grimmjow, but I already yap too much and wanted to try to keep an already long post short(er).
Anyway - all of this illustrates the trauma that Orihime has regarding hollows and hollowfication. It's not truly her fault - yet in both instances she blames herself.
And not just Kubo, but Ichigo himself is fully aware of this.
Which is why when he tells her not to worry and that he's still himself is so important - because it shows that Ichigo has learned to control that side of himself while at the same time, being aware that Orihime is someone who has been traumatized by hollows and hollowfication.
Ultimately - she doesn't want Ichigo to become a monster like Sora. For Ichigo, it's growth in his own ability while for Orihime it's comfort in knowing that Ichigo won't lose himself fighting to protect those he cares about.
In short, she isn't afraid of Ichigo - she was scared of him becoming a monster like Sora had.
#rainbow talking#orihime inoue#orihime kurosaki#Ichigo Kurosaki#Bleach#Pro-Orihime#Pro-Orihime Inoue#Pro-Orihime Kurosaki#IchiHime#anywho - I did my best to leave out any romantic or shippy analysis#bc people will try to twist it to say that I'm trying to push a ship when I'm not#I still tag it as the ship bc I'm pretty sure shippers will want to read it#but i'm fending off Orihime slander that has crossed my tl in one way or another#Kubo also really does have a way of writing trauma that is super subtle#Because one can argue that Orihime becoming so kind and compassionate is a result of the trauma she's experienced#even before the start of the main series considering she was 3 when Sora ran away with her#even if she may not remember her parents specifically and only heard about their abuse#studies have shown even if someone doesn't remember it the abuse they experienced still has an impact on them#but all in all this was really more about Orihime#cause even removed of the text#Kubo drew VL Ichigo side by side with Orihime multiple times FOR A REASON#even if you want to argue those reasons aren't romantic#they're still there for a reason and it's to show how much Ichigo DOES care about Orihime#as well as Orihime's own experience with hollows/hollowfication#her hesitation and fear is a sign of trauma and PTSD even if the manga doesn't expressly say that#and it's something that Ichigo acknowledges and that he and Orihime also work past
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Soda stroking Pony's hair and calling him "honey" is something that can be so personal actually.
#''is somebody sick? is darry sorry that i'm sick?'' 😭#i have a lot of favorite sibling duos but for some reason i forget about pony and soda#i always related to soda though. him being the middle man and all.#i remember one time my mom and brother were fighting in the car and they both were like ''emily--which one of us is right??''#and it immediately made me think of soda and how he ran away when pony and darry were fighting#The Outsiders
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one of my favorite things about getting older is that I’m just more sure and more confident in taking control in social situations and making other people feel at ease. I really love it!
#have always wanted to be good at it but it takes time#at least for me#my mom was describing one of her college friends to me the other day#and she goes ‘yeah she was kind of like you. personable and direct and kind.#‘and she was always going to deal with you (positive) instead of ignoring you’#honestly compliment of all time! because it does not come totally naturally to me#and there’s a lot that gets in my way—shyness anxiety a certain stiffness#but I love when i can feel it sort of giving way#anyway just rambling#also once again teaching has helped with this so much#because kids HAVE to be guided through a social situation. they don’t know what to do#and if I let them run it it’s always stupid#so just taking control asking the questions kind of —situating them so we can have a moment and then I can dismiss them#not that I do the same with adults lol. but works more often than you think#just having some direction and taking charge of a social interaction#I remember this comedian once saying he loved when someone took control in a social situation re: greetings/handshakes/hugs#like ‘oh thank goodness someone is figuring this out’ it’s so true and so funny skskdkdjd#I hope there is nothing peremptory about it! but I often find I’m so much ruder by doing nothing#than by being proactively kind and (hopefully) appropriate to the occasion#you know I’ve spoken on it before but my life really changed#when I made myself go back and say goodbye to my students after graduation my second year teaching#like. I literally ran away because I was so shy and it felt so awkward and no one was taking charge of how to do it#and the students wouldn’t (can’t) so it felt like they didn’t want to#and then I realized no—if someone is going to take the lead here it has to be me#and then I did! and there was in fact so much love waiting for me#people just don’t know how to show it#so you have to give them an opportunity#this is so many thoughts but I feel this sooooo much and I care about it so much
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probably the most constant thing of my life has been the social isolation and loneliness i experience
since i was a young child, i’ve always struggled to make and find friends, and often was left alone
for a long time, nothing could defeat my spirits and will to make friends, and even the loneliness wasn’t enough to make me stop
nowadays, it gets to me, the loneliness, and i often wonder if i’ll have all the friends i’ve deserved all along
#audhdrhys#lonelyrhys#i had a lot of fake friends growing up#and i was gullible a lot so people act one way and then another and i fell for it each time they did it#often times my “friends” were just there to use me as playmates and not real friends who cared about my boundaries and interests#and some of them didn’t consider me their friend and forgot about me the minute i left their daily lives#some ran away from me cuz i was weird#but most of the time i just remember being alone#i remember not knowing how to make friends#i remember being too scared to and asking my sister to make friends for me#which she would and they would always favor her#i was just the tag along nobody really wanted there#and that’s how it usually went#and i was homeschooled growing up and i didn’t go to many groups or anything like that so i was already isolated from society just from tha#but the loneliness through that all has stuck with me#i still don’t know how to make friends very well#i still wonder if everyone finds me offputting#and i still wonder if they’re faking being my friend and don’t actually care about me#even though i have some and am grateful for them#the loneliness stays#lonely#lonely childhood#childhood memories#childhood#friends#audhd experiences#audhd#audhd problems#audhd child
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Absolutely the funniest thing about my current corner of tumblr is that pretty much everyone I've recently followed for Apollo-Appreciating Purposes are either genuinely Hellenist or just rather very into Rick Riordan's Trials of Apollo series which is wild because I know a net zero about both of those things.
#I've never been interested in Riordan's work and the Percy Jackson books I did read as a young lad didn't change my mind on that topic#Growing up I preferred a very one or the other method for my greek adaptational content#which essentially means either you're a play or an adaptation of a legit story or myth with recogniseable figures and plotpoints#or you're an original story with mythical elements but the myths and the adaptations and interpretations of those myths is secondary#Percy Jackson did both and it was very disorienting for me because the books were well grounded enough that when I came into contact#with some element I didn't recognise or couldn't remember I myself would get confused and go “Is that true? like really?? :0c”#Then I ran a library book club and Percy Jackson books were p much all the kids wanted to read#but they rejected all of my supplementary greek myth exercises and got a lot of stuff mixed around#because percy jackson does a rather good job of making a convincing argument that it knows its stuff and people will quicker cite that#than do readings of the much more difficult older texts and translations of text#It's not Percy Jackson's fault it's just a bad experience that stuck with me and by extension leaked over into Trials of Apollo when that#was released#Trials of Apollo was crazy because I generally make it my business to consume any and all greek myth interpretational media that bothers#to include Apollo (there is a shockingly low amount of things that do that)#however a LOT of novels especially never let Apollo retain the dignity of a god in their portrayals of him#and have him resemble a teenager more than anything even remotely close to an adult#I had just gotten finished reading a novel adaptation of the story of Coronis and Apollo with this same issue#so when I opened the first volume of ToA and saw that Apollo simply genuinely WAS a teenager#Frankly I just closed the book and put it back on the bookstore shelf and very calmly walked away LMFAO#I have nothing to say about Hellenists and neo hellenists y'all seem like wonderful people and I hope#you have a lovely time with your e-offerings and worship#unless you are my single personal friend with Apollo as your patron#then I wish you 1000 woes and 10000 divine brain blasts#toa#pjo#ginger rambles
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oh yeah? could a mentally unstable person make this?
#sims#sims lore#goth family#bella goth#and this is BEFORE the barnacle bay caliente trysts expanded romance web#headcanon family tree using mostly canon and only having to invent ONE original character to make things work#ignore the margin notes i was tryna remember if the landgraabs are related like at all#except apparently for a one time arranged marriage with frida which she ran away from#and im thinkin of outlining the individual families in different colors of pen#this is also trying to figure out the family ties strangetown has#no i dont care about genetics why do you ask#strangetown bella*
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it's actually so fascinating to me that Brennan has created a character that maintains a pretty relaxed and mild-mannered demeanor and has said multiple times that the absolute Core of her is "FEAR" and how often we see this Fear manifest specifically in Avoidance; it really nails a relationship to that mentality where your brain fully Stops recognizing the emotion properly out of like, sheer self-defense from the stress of having to carry it all the time
I think this is also perfectly showcased in the way we tend to see Tula swing so suddenly from 'level and steady' to 'snarling Panic' and then back again - Just because your brain has detached itself from the Conscious Recognition of the emotion doesn't mean it can Actually stop itself from experiencing it. So the Fear is always there and always acting as a stressor, but because of that inability to Identify it there's no way to recognize or address it before that final straw hits and your bodymind jumps Straight into Full Meltdown Mode; but then once again, once you drop even a Little bit below that Peak Terror your brain ceases to process the emotion; it's like the most exhausting form of Poor Object Permanence in the world
And even if Tula is aware of this happening to her, that doesn't really make it any easier to deal with / address. Even if you're able to spot the symptoms Around the emotion -- chest pain, irritation, nausea, whatever -- because the Emotion Itself is basically impossible to find, you can't really Successfully Pin Down what the problem is OR a way to cope with it. If you can't figure out That You Are Anxious, then figuring out What Is Making You Anxious is impossible, which makes Find A Way To Make Peace With That incomprehensible. That's where the Avoidance comes in: you can no longer identify what might be a Dangerous Situation, which means that Anything New has a big potential to be Really Bad in a variety of ways (ranging "I don't Feel Good" to "Fully Lashing Out bc you've entered Fight/Flight and can't get out of it" to "Actual Outside Danger This Time") and that means the Only Way you know how to be Safe is to just Avoid Doing Anything New and Only stick to Familiar Situations, because anything unfamiliar is a monster of a gamble you don't know how to prepare for or cope with
#N posts stuff#one could argue ‘we see tula worry a lot tho’ but that’s bc Worry is an Action that can occur Separately from Recognizing Anxiety#now that I know tumblr will put a hard cap on your tags w/o telling you i'm resigning myself to posting rambling meta in post body#but i'm not happy about it; anyway i love how often life is full of Coincidences bc this is something I've Finally identified in myself#like. This Month. like this is brand new articulation for some of the problems i have in life; again knowing this doesn't help lmao#bc even when you know to look Around the shape of the emotion - like 'oh my face is Snarling rn. i'm probably experiencing Something'#like i said bc you don't know What that something is OR What might have caused it then the only solution you Ever get to come up with#is just 'fully retreat and go calm down somewhere else' which INVARIABLY means that you will wind up in that same situation again#and Still have no idea how to handle it bc you never could figure out what caused it so you don't know how to handle it any better than#'fully retreat and go calm down somewhere else'; so 'be somewhere else' is the ONLY way you can ever think to Help it#which usually invariably turns into 'Just Avoid Fucking Everything just in case'; which doesn't work! bc life doesn't let you do that#so then it's just a cycle of falling into the same pitfalls and feeling miserable all the time; gotta love it :)#if you're like me this also gives you Bad Bad Bad Memory bc your brain will Promptly hide evidence of Scary Situation instinctively#like 3 weeks ago this dude ran a red light and almost t-boned me Full Speed & managed to stop like. maybe 3 feet away.#and i like. Startled Laughed and said 'that was scary' and then within 30 seconds i had Fully Forgotten it happened & only remembered#like 2 days ago. Ha! believe it or not this Does Not Help with 'How can I Address the Problem instead of Avoiding It Entirely?'#dimension 20#d20: stupendous stoats#tula#d20lb
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Applying to an apartment with little income and terrible credit score, in hopes that they'll be desperate enough to take me
#im not even getting my hopes up for this one folks#but this same company rook me when i had no rental history so maybe?#unlikely for the aforementioned piss poor income and credit score#im just praying they remember me feom when i used to rent from them and liked me enough then to take me again#the bathroom is not in the apartment btw#that's the wildest thing. like its a basic studio with a kitchen closet and main area#but you have to go across the hall. to the private bathroom#im hoping they realize that thats wild and give me the apartment#i neeeeed to leave my parents house. and i really miss that city the apartment is in#i wish there was a little essay section where i could tell the landlord how much i like the city#and that ill get a better job once i live there and my parents are going to pay my first month and security deposit#that would be nice#i applied knowing that i won't get it but also knowing that i cant get it if i dont try#mostly i just miss that city#there was a really nice coffee shop within walking distance of my apartment#(the apartment i applied to is next door to the building i used to live in so same area which is great)#but i didnt have wifi so i would go there a lot to do work. it was so cozy in the winter especially#and i went on a lot of walks. so i wiuld swing by there and grab a drink to sip on my walk#and it was literally within sight of a great lake. a literal great lakw of Michigan lol#i loved walking along the lake on a nice day. or a windy day and just watch the waves crash#and my favorite band is feom that city so i got to see so many of their performances. and theyre a small band so the most i ever paid#was $50 and that was for the vip package. i saw them for $10 once. and free once. and $50 for the vip#its a big art and music city and i love it so much. i miss it so fucking much and i regret leaving#but at least it made me realize that no other city is for me. that city is my home#oh and it was literally right next to a bug beautiful library that i loved to wander. i still have my library card from there#mostly used it to print stuff and you have to pay at the box next to the printer. and one time i forgot to pay. i still feel bad about that#but i dont want to reminisce too much cuz i know i wont get it#im trying to pay off my credit cards to bring up my credit score but its slow going#its much nearer my gf and all my friends so i would love to live near them. rn im hours away from about everyone i love#i ran out of tags. maybe pray for me if you pray? or just hope for me. i dont want to let myself want this but its there
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Special Counseling (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Damned#ZEX#DAX#These are especially funny to me because I remember when I first looked through the gallery and was Deeply Distressed at ZEX like this#I didn't know the context yet so the betrayal was uncomfortable! As intended but unexpected haha ♪#I love ZEX! Why would he do such a thing! Now I know <3 <3 And now I'm doing the same thing! Lol#The thought of ZEX never getting his own body again even for just a night even on the Institute's side ah it hurts#At least he'd finally have visual proof that it's Possible he never even saw Tanaka so for all he knows it was just another ''vision''#But of DAX <3 Of him getting his body back but turning on ZEX about it ough ♥ And the fallout!! Agh!!!#The setups the payoffs <3 <3 <3#I wrote a bit more for both scenarios actually - of DAX actually pointing a laser pistol at ZEX and threatening to kill him#Thus why ZEX is questioning him the next day - was that brainwashing or would you really do that??#ZEX of course wouldn't have flinched at the time - and DAX's motivation either way that this is a fate unbefitting of his Admiral#''He lowered his head feelers in a sympathetic way. 'I can hardly stand to watch you waste away in that form. If you would ask it of me...''#Weh ;;#Can you tell it's a bit inspired by We Do What is Necessary hehe <3#Which btw you've read right it's so good everyone needs to read it <3#Remind me to make a separate post about that one actually I had the oddest reread experience :3c Fascinating ✨#Anyhow lol#I actually like how I've written their next-day meetup after DAX returns to his senses more than I've drawn it hm :P#I think it's a specific line that sticks out to me - VUX communication through human bodies my beloved ;;♥#''He ran a hand down DAX's arm - a poor approximation of the gesture he was trying to emulate but he was sure DAX would understand.#They'd exchanged it enough times before.'' Hhhhhh ❤️💕💖💞💗 ;;/♥ I love them <3 <3#Also forehead touches and holding face and hands and jfdsalkfd the tenderness and loyalty aghhahgah <3#I really like the idea of VUX lacing fingers with each other as a kind of twining/head tendrils holding replacement ♥#The most intense one-eyed eye contact hehe <3
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Sometimes I kinda regret the storyline I gave Spring bc it separates him a lot from the other characters he used to hang out with
#rambles#context: the toys are dressing up as the scooby gang and theyre missing scooby. spring would make a great scoob and bestia would be scrappy#<- for the Halloween prompt lol. anyways ill just make it part of the joke and be meta abt it ig#back on topic though. i just remembered a preliminary story i had for him where he ran away from his home (wasn't Julian's brother by then)#and sometimes crashed at meg's house (her dad knew about this) and stayed in a guest room for the night. until one time he enters from the#window into the bed and finds fox sleeping there and both scream in shock (for comedy value) (thats as far as that scene goes)#i had the idea of making him like a big brother figure to meg. someone who she trusts more than fox (for example) and later#(when i made him julians brother) i had the idea to mirror this relationship but with julian and fox (and i just remembered it now??)#but yeah that might be a way to get him closer to others. though i do have other plans but i dont talk about them for some reason:v
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Wait the cats name is Rusty? And its orange? Do you own a real life Firestar? (Assuming you know what warrior cats is if you dont ignore this lol)
was wondering if someone was going to say this ! it always happens when i bring him up ! anyway i do know warriors but i only read two books, and also my dad named him. his mom’s name is tawny and that one Was my doing. not even necessarily after the character tawnypelt i just learned what the word tawny was Because of that book and thought it was a neat word. she is Also a tortoiseshell though
#also i remain confused how rusty is Such a give away for a warriors fan since ive been asked this so many times now !#an orange cat named rusty just feels like a normal thing to do ! stereotypical even ! his brother’s name is copper !#not mad btw#also i Did read the book rusty/firestar came from and i just remember it made me cry bc he ran away from home#i was in I Think in third grade and one of my cats at the time had just died. so#the thought of rusty/firestar’s people just Never seeing him aagin one night. struck a nerve BSHSBBEBSBDB#but yeah the other book was the one with tawnypelt. and I learned the word tawny. that’s all i remember#the monarch’s court#ye royal pets
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i keep forgetting to make this post but i wanted to remind everyone that Kitty Softpaws is literally disabled
#like. in case people only watched the second movie so didn't get her background story in the first one#puss in boots#kitty softpaws#& just in case you have no idea what i'm talking about: she was declawed by her human family randomly one day#which is why she ran away & became an outlaw#& why her paws are so soft in the first place. she doesn't have claws#i know people hate to view disabled characters as disabled if they aren't literally wheelchair-bound & crying about it#so like. this is a post for those people#a cat without claws is one billion percent disabled & suffering from chronic pain CON STANT LY#like remember that every time she lands on all four paws that fucking hurts like a motherfucker
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idk who decided "soft lozenges" was an acceptable form for edibles but i'd very much like to smite them with lightning
#ace rambles#repulsive texture#i barely remember buying these things but i ran out of my chocolates a few days ago and i Did buy them#so i've been consuming them#they do the job but god they're unpleasant#also i've been having random off and on bouts of unexplained nausea that i've been ignoring lately#(because they go away as soon as i eat/drink something. however)#i was met with an ill timed one and ended up gagging on the damned things trying to swallow them#also also the flavor is ''blackberry lemon'' and it's not great#usually the experience isn't Quite this bad but i got unlucky tonight lol#powered thru it tho cause like hell was i going to throw up my edibles those aren't cheap
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i do not know if i ever sent this to you. i have posted it. i hope you like it Princess.
#uhhhhhm no you HAVE NOT SENT THIS TO ME BEFORE?!?!#I literally am speechless#I’m not super talky right now#but even if I was I feel like I’d still be fucking speechless#like I already said I love your writing 🩷#and it fucking BLOWS ME AWAY when people write about me or use me as an inspiration#like????????? what??????? me???????????!#I’m going to keep this close to my heart and look at it whenever I’m feeling down#I don’t remember if I said that already but it’s true#I need to get a journal or a cute box to put things like this in so I can just grab it and look through them when I’m feeling shitty#one thing I needed to say is the fact that you shared this with me now of all times??? is kinda crazy to me#idk if it’s a coincidence or if the universe/God/whoever/whatever is trying to tell me to go back into music and singing#not going to go into it too much but I’ve been looking at my life a lot lately#and I’m realizing I’m not getting any younger…. I know I’m still young but if I don’t do something soon -#my life is going to completely pass before my eyes and I really really don’t want that#I’m *finally* going to get mental help soon (long story but I have to wait a few weeks)#and once I’m actually mentally stable I can focus on what I want to do with my life#so I’ve been thinking a lot about my performing arts background and then randomly a get an email from a choir director I know#asking if I could please join the choir for their Easter performance cause they could really use my high notes#and she just kept complimenting me and it felt really nice ☺️#then when I went to the first rehearsal I sat next to this girl and we were singing a part and the first sopranos go up to a high A#and I can hit it easily but most of them couldn’t so it felt like I was going this mini solo lol#but she asks me what my range is and I told her that back when I trained I could sing queen of the night which I think goes up to an F6#and she was talking about how impressive that is#and it made me think about if I actually trained and got back into it how good I actually could get#I don’t mean this to be like ‘look at me look at me I’m so good’#it just feels nice to have a little bit of a direction again#who knows if I’ll actually go down the music path again but it does sound damn exciting#I miss it with all my heart - I miss singing and performing and acting… I even miss music theory#anyway rant over and i ran out of space but thank you so much I seriously can’t thank you enough 😭🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷
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