#i remember how sad i was when they found out bryce went to the front lines

[sorry-i-forgot]

I'm rewatching campaign 2 and I forgot how much I adore Bryce. They have such a comforting presence and are one of the first strangers that genuinely appreciates the M9 and treats them like a friend. They're such a "minor" npc in the overall scale of campaign 2 but I feel like they were apart of the spark that made the M9 who they are.

[donutloverxo]

New years eve

Note- Sequel to temptations

For the lovely @star-spangled-beard-burn s challenge.

Please do not steal or repost my works. Reblogs are welcome.

Summary- You might not be his girl but you are still his.

Warnings- smut, semi-public sex, cheating, slut-shaming, dark elements

Word count- 2.2k

Masterlist

He clutched the tall champagne flute in his hand hard enough to almost break it. His jaw clenched as he looked at you dancing with that loser boyfriend of yours, having the time of your life.

Your hair swirling to the sides as you bobbed your head to the rhythm. He smirked when he remembered how he’d pull on it as he pounded into you from behind. He went back to frowning when you started grinding your ass against that assholes crotch. He was too drunk and clueless to do anything but stand there.

And then you looked at him across the dancefloor, and fucking smiled, before turning back to capture the drunk idiots lips in a kiss. Your titts, almost spilling out of the tight dress you wore, as you pressed up against him.

He had enough. He stalked towards you with purpose, grabbing your arm pulling you against him. “You mind if I grab her for a second, Bryce” he spit the name out with such venom while his lips were curled in a dubious smile.

Bryce, being too delirious to remember his own name, just nodded.

Ransom pulled you towards the mens room, he purposely kept his grip on your arm a bit to harsh. He loved hearing you moan and protest to let up a bit, while you struggled to keep up with him in your high heels.

He pushed you up against the wall. He didn’t bother locking the door, if someone finds out that’s not really his responsibility.

He forced his tongue into your mouth swallowing your moans. Pushing his knee between your legs grinding it against your cunt. He could feel the wet spot forming on his dress pants.

You broke the kiss to take long gasps of breathes while humping his thigh. Watching you fall apart was now one of his favorite things to do.

It all started six months ago. When Bryce introduced you as his girlfriend. You looked so beautiful, enchanting even, with your pale pink dress that ended just below your knees, your lips stained with pink lipstick bore a shy smile. Your hair perfectly framing your pretty face. You were so demure, so reserved. A classic good girl. But he knew better. He knew something was fishy.

He caught your gaze lingering on him too long for it to be considered proper. Or how you’d blush from the slightest touch from him.

You showed him just how bad you were when you ambushed him while on a getaway to the Bahamas and practically bullied him into fucking you.

He did feel slightly bad, but any semblance of guilt was gone when he was buried balls deep inside you, your cunt clenching around him, milking him for all he’s got.

If Bryce didn’t want you to wander he should've taken better care of you. That’s on him.

You’d always complain about how boring and clichéd Bryce was. Ransom didn’t know why you were still with him, he never bothered to ask.

It wasn’t the first time he was with an ‘unavailable’ woman. He actually preferred it that way. No commitment, no strings attached and he always had the upper hand, the leverage.

But you were different. He didn’t plan on getting so attached to you but if he sees you kissing or in the vicinity of your good for nothing boyfriend, he will do something to be guilty about.

“What you like being a tease?” He mocked pushing your panties to the side, pumping his fingers in and out of you “I can see your ass hanging out of that dress. You want to be groped huh?” he taunted while brutally finger fucking you.

“Just you” You gasped holding onto his shoulders for dear life as you came around his fingers.

He unzipped his pants taking himself out of his boxers. He pushed you down to your knees. You weren’t like anyone he’d ever met. You tricked him, of all people, into believing he had power over you. That he was in control. It took him too long to realise you were the one pulling the strings all along.

“Suck” He demanded and you followed like the good slut you were. You took him in your mouth. Your cheek hollowing while you bobbed on it making loud squelching noises.

He groaned holding onto you as you moaned around him. He could cum in your mouth and make you swallow every last bit of it, but he needed to fuck you, remind you who you truly belong to. It would bring him great satisfaction knowing you’d go home with that prick when he was still inside of you.

He pulled you off of him much to your disappointment. Pinning you to the wall your legs wrapped around his waist.

He cupped your cheek smudging some of your lipstick with his thumb. You bit his thumb gently sucking on it. Your eyes looked so sweet so innocent. Maybe that’s how you managed to trick him and everyone else.

“I’m going to fuck you so hard. You will feel it for days” he drawled out pushing his thick cock in your cunt, right away setting a hard brutal pace. “Is his cock this big? Huh?” He cruelly rolled his hips against yours and all you could do was shake your head.

No one had ever fucked you like Ransom. You would be lucky if Bryce managed to last more than five minutes.

You felt yourself tipping over the edge again. Clenching around him, he grunted cursing, his thrusts became erratic your orgasm triggering his own. He spilled inside of you, making sure to sit deep within you for a moment.

“The next time you think about teasing me” He paused buckling his pants up “don��t”

“There won’t be a next time” you state as you look at your state in the large mirror. Your blood red lipstick smeared across your face, your mascara running down, your hair a mess. There was no way you could go back out looking like this.

“What did you say?” He pulled at you to look at him. If looks could kill.

“Ah stop doing that!” You yelled your bruised forearm hurting even more so.

“What do you mean last time?” he sneered.

“I mean we’re not doing this again. I found an engagement ring in his sock drawer. I’m sorry Ransom” You finally freed your arm from his grip caressing it with your other hand. You could feel Ransoms rage, looking around for a way out. But he was standing in front of the only door.

“What? You don’t even love him. You’re going to marry him?” He knew people didn’t need to be in love to get married. Since you were willing to marry just about anybody, then why not him?

“I do love him. I love you too” You caressed his face with your hands. As if that would make it hurt any less for either of you.

Ransom was meant to serve as a distraction from your boring life as a trophy girlfriend and a future trophy wife. You didn’t want to reach a point where you would blow your brains out of boredom.

You thought you could have harmless fun with Ransom but then your conscience got in the way. Bryce had been kinder to you these last few days, more than anyone you’ve ever known. You couldn’t start a marriage based on lies and infidelity.

“Really? Then marry me” He said. You shook your head at him in denial. He caged you in against the counter. “What’re you worried about? Money? I’ve got plenty of it”

And he wasn’t afraid to spend it on you. He had got you plenty of designer bags, perfumes, jewellery just because he could. He almost bought you a car. But you drew the line there. You didn’t need to give your boyfriend any reasons to be suspicious.

“It’s not just that. Bryce is...safe” you mumbled looking at the floor.

He propped you chin up to make you look at him. “If you wanted safe, you wouldn’t be here” He leaned in to whisper in your ear “Just admit it. You like this. You like a little bit of danger”

Oh but Ransom wasn’t just a little bit of danger. He was prone to fits of rage and temper tantrums along with not having the ability to keep his dick in his pants. He didn’t have a job, if his grandfather cut him off he’d never be able to support himself or you. Then there was his dysfunction and toxic family.

“Why would you even want to get married? Didn’t you say ‘I don’t do relationships' ” You said trying your best to mimic his deep hoarse voice.

“You’re mine and that’s that. A piece of paper doesn’t mean anything”

You sighed exasperatedly. You knew he wouldn’t give up easily. Nobody has ever said no to him. You weren’t too thrilled to be the first. “I was never yours” you said softly “let’s go it’s almost midnight”

Surprisingly Ransom let you go. Keeping his distance from you for the rest of the night. However you knew it was just the calm before the storm. Whatever, you could deal with him later. He wasn’t as complicated as he seemed.

At the stroke of midnight you kissed Bryce. Your heart broke a little when you catched a glimpse of Ransom kissing a girl before you went back to watching the fireworks light up the dark gloomy sky.

It was hard to say goodbye to him. You didn’t want to. In a perfect world you and him would be together forever. Right now you know you made the right choice. You might feel a bit sad now but you would appreciate choosing Bryce in the future.

You quickly left the party not being able to stand to be around Ransom anymore. Bryce wanted to hang out with his friends some more so you left alone.

You got home taking off your makeup. The tight dress Ransom gave you and made you put on a little show for him. You already missed him. You cried yourself to sleep.

You couldn’t stand the fact that he might hate you. That you’ll never be able to kiss him again or hold him again. You made the right choice but was it worth it?

You woke up the next afternoon with a migraine. Your break up and the copious amounts of alcohol hitting you just now. You looked to your right to see that the bed was still perfectly made. Looks like Bryce spent the night at one of his friends house.

You sent him a text to check in with him. The day went by. You tried your best to keep busy with chores and work to think of anything but Ransom and your missing boyfriend.

When it was almost bedtime and Bryce still hadn’t turned up you called up all your friends, including Ransom, to see if they had heard from him. Ransom never answered. Which you understood you had hurt his feelings along with your own in the process. Your hopes to hear his voice again were crushed when his phone went straight to voicemail.

The next morning you went to the police with Bryces parents. They blamed you for leaving him alone at the party.

You walked home alone in the dark feeling completely lost. Your year wasn’t off to a good start. That’s when you saw him. Ransom standing in front of your door waiting for you.

Your body moved of its own accord, running to him, embracing him in a tight hug. You were crazy to think you could ever stay away from him. He hugged you back nuzzling your neck, his light scruff tickling you.

You pulled away to look at him with tears streaming down your face. “Bryce... he’s missing. I don’t know what to do. It’s my fault isn’t it? I should’ve stopped him, he drank too much” You covered your face with your hands trying and failing to hold back your sobs.

Ransom rubbed your back to sooth you. “It’s not your fault doll. I promise he’ll turn up” He cooed “Let’s go inside you’re freezing”

He ordered you some take out chicken soup while you took a long hot bath. You had barely eaten anything in the past few days. The hot soup burned down your throat. With a full stomach you slept peacefully in Ransoms arms.

He proved you wrong and made you feel safe and protected. You didn’t know what the future held for you. If you would still be with Bryce after he comes back. Right now you were content to cuddle in your lovers arms.

[lucas-koh]

Stitches - Bryce Lahela x MC XVI

Choices: Open Heart; Part 1-15 in bio.

Rating: M, implied sex, swearing

Song: My Own - Whitaker

Word Count: 3380

Taglist: @lahellacute @lahamseiroshoe @choicesficwriterscreations @anotherbeingsworld @fuseboxmusebox @bubblelaureno @eleanorbloom @bryceslahela @thegreentwin @kelseaaa @kingkassam || please let me know if you would like to be added to or removed from this list

Chapter Sixteen: Scarred

Suki didn’t need to hear any more. There was no explaining away this one. She’d asked the question and his answer was simple. So I am just a body to you? Yes.

Her gaze fell to the floor and her feet felt cemented there even though all she wanted to do was run away. She kept trying and trying but they wouldn’t budge. Noise was all one big long beep fizzling around her ears and her vision was a big blurry mess, despite the tears clinging on for dear life at the bottom of her lashes.

But she didn’t need to move. Bryce already had. She saw as the blurred shapes of his legs removed themselves from her peripheral and she could picture each step in her mind, each one another stab to her chest.

She wasn’t sure how long she stood there, swaying in the growing dark, the tears still gripping on obstinately to her lash line.

And it seemed she made it home on autopilot, because the next thing she knew she was unlocking her front door and gliding through to her bedroom. If anyone was around in the communal areas, she wouldn’t have been able to tell because nothing was registering.

She also seemed to manage to undress and slide into pyjamas in smooth movements, eyes barely blinking and mouth set slightly parted. She hadn’t bothered to turn the light on, just a small window of grey sky illuminating the room ever so slightly.

She washed her face and brushed her teeth, trying not to think too much about the time Bryce had done this for her. She didn’t even look in the mirror as she did so.

It wasn’t until Suki cradled herself into bed and laid to one side, the space Bryce often occupied empty in front of her, that she finally began to cry.

She felt out to the space, the smooth cotton kind of stinging beneath her still-cold hands, like that would somehow let him know she was thinking of him. That she was sorry. Sorry that she went and fucked up and caught feelings. Sorry that she acted on impulse. The empty space never usually felt like a problem, probably because she knew it would be occupied at some point or another. And now it wouldn’t be. She slowly turned her hand over, looking at her scars in the dim light. And she just cried more. Because it was a reminder of Bryce seared into her skin forever. The puckered skin a neat example of Bryce’s careful and thoughtful stitches. The red disappearing scabs a beacon of how she’d messed it all up.

His stitches hadn’t scarred just her hand, but her heart, too.

She wasn’t even meant to feel anything for him, but mistakes were made. She wasn’t even sure she ever felt like it was a good idea, even from the start, just that she wanted him. She had been helpless to stop the unforgiving want.

But as she grew to want him in the other way, he’d stayed the same.

This was nothing like the time Bryce had been funny about the surgery, or when she’d been worried about what she’d heard him say to Ben. This was different. This was real and definite and final. No chance of miscommunication. She’d worried—knew to some extent—that how she felt was one sided, but that didn’t make it hurt any less.

She was embarrassed. Because even if she’d been right about him not feeling the same, she’d still believed he at least cared for her as a friend. Just like the rest of the group. Clearly, that wasn’t the case.

There was definitely a sense of frustration that he’d been pissed at her for lying, but in admitting that she was only a fuck to him and not a friend, he’d revealed he’d been lying since she asked him about it.

Her throat hurt as she tried to cry silently. She couldn’t believe how badly everything had got fucked up. She found herself wishing that the space next to her was occupied. She didn’t even want the sex. She wanted the intimacy. Just Bryce next to her. His stupid fucking grin and his eyes like chasms she’d trip and fall down with just a word—just the thought of hearing her name on his lips triggered a chorus of ‘Why, Suki?’ and she was in even more desperate tears. No ‘Sukes’, no ‘Santa Fe’, and her full name normally sounded like heaven—but.

She wasn’t sure how long she lay there wallowing. She hadn’t even remembered falling asleep until she woke up with the sore, crusty eyes and a wet pillow. Pathetic. He wasn’t even anything to me. I hate that I made myself feel this way.

—-

The next few days were a big blend of work, coming home to stare at a wall, and eventually needing to eat.

This shouldn’t have fucked her up as much as it was, but it had. She’d lost a friend above anything else. Or, who she thought was a friend.

And she wished that maybe this had happened sooner, before she got too sucked in. But then she realised. She’d always been screwed. The entire time.

She hadn’t even considered previously that they’d had an emotional bond before they even had a good chance at being only fuck buddies. When they’d kissed in the supply closet all those months ago, it was sealed. Her tears had been drying on her cheeks as he’d kissed her desperately, tasting them and consuming her misery. For her, anyway. She should’ve read the signs, let herself stay away from the inevitable heartbreak.

And yes, Suki got sick. So she was sick and heartbroken all at once. She had to take a couple of days off, and all she did was hole up in her room and pop out occasionally to cook up a meal from the freezer. Thank god she was always prepared.

One day she was unfortunate enough to enter the kitchen while Jackie was already there, eating a sandwich at the table.

“Hey,” she smiled, she knew Suki was sick so Suki assumed that was what the sympathetic look on her face was about.

“Hi,” Suki replied meekly, before pulling out some cold pizza from the fridge and digging in to a slice.

“Aren’t those sweatpants a bit big for you?” Jackie asked. Suki forgot she’d been living in Bryce’s hoodie and sweatpants she’d stolen at Christmas. She was currently in an old t shirt of her own and said sweatpants which definitely were a tad big.

“No,” Suki groaned through her mouthful of pizza.

“Okay, what is up? Any time you’re at the apartment you’ve been moping and barely taking care of yourself, you haven’t even noticed me when I’ve said hi to you at the hospital. I know you’re sick but... I don’t know. Is everything okay?”

“It’s fine, Jackie. I guess I just hate February.”

“No… there’s something wrong. Is this a bad time of year for you?”

She looked at Jackie properly for the first time in the conversation, concern laced in her typically brusque face. It was a bit of an impasse. Telling Jackie would probably screw things up further, especially given how close she was with Bryce. If she was being honest, Suki had no idea if Bryce had confronted Jackie about the whole thing. If she was being honest, she didn’t want to know. If Bryce hadn’t chastised Jackie, then Suki knew the whole thing had been about her, and he really had meant that the fact they were sleeping together changed things. Of course if he had, that would mean that Suki wasn’t special at all. She couldn’t win.

Was indifference worse than resentment?

“Something like that,” she gave a small sad smile. Jackie nodded understandingly, and Suki knew she wouldn’t press.

“Here,” Jackie patted the chair beside her, clearing off the last of her sandwich in the other hand. Suki didn’t really want to sit down and chat—she’d been hoping to hole up in her room all day again—but at this point that would be rude. So she reluctantly slid into the chair. “So, I need to ask you a question.”

Suddenly Suki’s head whirred with all the possible things Jackie could be curious about, but all they landed on was Bryce. Had she somehow found out they’d been sleeping together? Or, did she know those sweatpants were his? What if Bryce had confronted her about the whole thing and that was this? All questions lead to him. And that made her seriously nervous. She didn’t want to talk about him, she didn’t want to think about him. Even though that seemed all she could do these days.

“Okay…”

“So after the whole I-stopped-you-from-hitting-a-surgical-intern thing, did you maybe… go back and do it?”

Suki balked, she wasn’t expecting this. “No? What do you mean?”

“I saw the two of them sporting matching black eyes, I wondered if—”

“No.” Suki was surprised by the revelation, because it certainly hadn’t been her.

“Oh. Alright. I suppose he’s probably just a dick generally, then. I’m glad, I’m still shocked they didn’t report us.”

Although Jackie might’ve been right—he might’ve just been an ass in some other situation—Suki couldn’t help but feel there was some connection. Maybe Landry was pissed they’d given him away? No, he didn’t seem the type. She didn’t really feel like asking the guy, but the situation was curious to her. Hopefully there’d be enough gossip once she was back at work to figure it out.

“Fred’s nose is fine, by the way. I don’t want you to beat yourself up over this,” Jackie said as she looked at the table; affection was something she was still getting her head around.

Suki nodded, she was glad she hadn’t broken anyone. Because she had been feeling a little guilty, even if he had deserved it. That feeling paled in comparison to how it had affected things with Bryce, though.

—-

The following days, months, indeterminate amount of time were hell for Bryce too.

He’d taken it too far. He could’ve let her down more gently. But she was too forgiving, too loyal, and she would’ve still been there for him—he couldn’t have that. Fucking hell, she would’ve probably bought him soup about the fact he’d rejected her if he’d been soft about it. And shit, he adored her for it.

He felt so incredibly guilty because he could see he’d hurt her. Those words cut like a knife for so many reasons. First, he looked like he only cared about getting in her pants and it hurt him that that meant every meaningful moment they shared became just another way to fuck her. Second, it had been a direct contradiction to what he’d told her before when she’d asked him the same question—and he’d insisted they were friends. Third, he was sure he’d done it at the worst possible time. Just when he was starting to feel like maybe, just maybe, he wasn’t alone in this. Like the way she looked at him meant what he wanted it to mean. And yes, that was why it had to happen, but it also meant he’d probably hurt her even more.

Shit, he wished he didn’t hurt her at all. Ever. He wished she could always be okay, he wished she could brush it off. But he knew she couldn’t. Even if he meant nothing to her—something he didn’t know the answer to—the way Suki was as a person would mean she’d be upset no matter what. She was thoughtful, loving, and empathetic. He’d seen that time and time again. Even if she didn’t like him the way he liked her, the fact of losing a friend was enough for her. And he was beating himself up nonstop for letting things get to the point where he would hurt her. Had hurt her.

Part of Bryce had wanted those idiots to report him for hitting Ben, some sort of sadistic payback for what he’d done to Suki. He wasn’t sure why they hadn’t, but at least he still had work to pour himself into. That was his only solace. The thing he loved the most. Or, historically had.

Although he truly fell for Suki at Halloween, he was also of the belief that there’d been some odd emotional bond from the very start. He wasn’t sure how he hadn’t seen it before. All the flirting, the desire to be near her, the way she made him feel. It was clinging to the familiar, the concentrated girl from college who he’d shared a moment with, whom he’d felt compelled to comfort that day. They were fucked before they even tried.

—-

If Suki had any hope of things fixing themselves after some time, that was gone when the months dragged on by with no word. It was easier than she expected to avoid friend outings:

I’m so tired.

I’m working really early tomorrow.

I’m actually working.

I’m trying to drink less.

And that seemed enough for the moment. She had picked up enough extra shifts that most of the time she really was working her ass off. Aurora knew what had happened, being Suki’s one confidant, and helped along with the excuses and avoiding. Aurora was… less than happy with Bryce but never said anything at Suki’s request. She did, however, disapprove of the way Suki was handling things.

“You can’t let this mean you avoid all your friends,” she’d said one day after trying to drag Suki out of her bedroom to Donahue’s. Suki had been grateful that Aurora hadn’t said ‘I told you so’. Even if she had been right.

“I live with you guys. It’s only him who’s extra, anyway.”

“Don’t you think it might be nice to clear the air, though? Yeah, he was a dick, but you shouldn’t have to feel uncomfortable around him for the rest of the time we’re all at Edenbrook.”

“I’m just not ready yet.”

Was Suki putting off the inevitable? Almost definitely.

—-

Around Easter, Suki had a couple of days off and was still feeling totally awful. It didn’t help this gave her a chance to think about it. She’d just been so engrossed in work and then so exhausted she’d fall straight asleep. There wasn’t as much time to focus on it properly, even if it did come into her mind at every opportunity. Every time she had to schedule a surgery she dreaded it would be Bryce walking through those doors—but by a stroke of luck it never was. Fate striking again. She did have Ben once, which was as awkward as it could’ve been.

That day around Easter the group had made a big meal and spent some nice quality time together. So in the next instalment of a long line of mistakes, Suki drank too much wine and found herself on Bryce’s doorstep. Which kind of made her cry all over again remembering the last time she was drunk and how Bryce cared for her. How he’d held her and kept her hair back and brushed her teeth and put her in his pyjamas. How he’d cuddled her as she fell asleep. And how apparently that was just a courtesy, not because he really gave a shit.

She thought about what he’d said: if only you knew what a screw up I was, and how ominous that felt now. I’m not sure what you meant, but I feel like the screw up now. No—I am the screw up.

She stared at his door from a distance, before nearing it. Then backing away. Then pacing back and forth. It probably should’ve been a warning that even in her drunk state she couldn’t make up her mind, but clearly it wasn’t.

She neared it, and knocked. Footsteps began to sound out and then when she felt the knob begin to twist she blockaded it on her side.

“Don’t open the door,” she muttered loud enough for him to hear, lolling her forehead onto it. “I can’t do this properly if I have to look at you.” Because even just imagining his face was painful right now. He probably looked so pretty. Unaltered. Just the thought was making her sobs hitch in her throat; but she didn’t want him to hear her crying.

There was a pause from the other side. “Suki…” the tone of his voice was indecipherable.

“I just need to say it. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

Unawares to Suki, Bryce was directly on the other side of the door, his ear pressed up against it and his eyes shut. It was her voice—he hadn’t heard it in what felt like way too long. He just wanted to rip open the door and see her face. Hug her. Kiss her. Say sorry. But she was right, that wouldn’t be a good idea. So he clambered his hands against the wood beside his head, reaching for the unreachable.

Bryce wasn’t sure how to respond, either.

“I fucked up. Bad. I-” she swallowed down the lump in her throat, “I fell for you,” she tried to control her voice but the tears were relentless, her hand shaking on the wooden door. This wasn’t the ideal situation to be confessing her feelings but it honestly just sort of came out. And there was no taking it back now.

It wasn’t something she was particularly used to… wearing her heart on her sleeve like this. Usually she’d sort of just… fallen into a relationship and that was that. But here she was admitting to Bryce—who’d told her in no uncertain terms he didn’t feel the same—that she’d fallen for him.

Drunk, no less.

“You…” Bryce started, but Suki cut him off.

“And I don’t… wanna see you again. I can’t ever see you again. It hurts too damn much. I know I don’t mean that to you, but I just...”

“But Suki you—”

“Please don’t. I’m going to move on. I’m giving up Bryce for lent,” Suki, drunk, didn’t care that Easter was the end of lent. “I just had to say it first.”

Before she broke too much she rushed away from the apartment and didn’t look back.

Didn’t hear Bryce’s whisper from the other side of the door: “I fell for you too. Long ago.”

—-

All the way home she questioned whether she’d made the right decision. Whether she should’ve just left it.

If admitting her feelings was perhaps entirely idiotic. Sober Suki would probably think so. But there was a slight sense of pressure lifted. She didn’t have to pretend anymore. He knew.

She’d feel embarrassed tomorrow, but that was a problem for sober Suki.

When she got home to see everyone still sitting around the table laughing with their wine glasses she wasn’t entirely sure she was in the mood for it (the whole heartbreak thing probably had something to do with that), but couldn’t object when she was beckoned over.

“Did you get more wine?”

Oh yeah. Her excuse. Oops.

“They were out…”

Jackie shot her an uncertain glance, but everyone was too drunk and jolly to care.

Eventually Suki was able to retreat to bed and follow her usual pattern. But she found herself staring at her phone. Specifically Bryce’s contact.

She’d meant it. She was giving him up. That meant taking certain measures.

She deliberated for what felt like hours, but eventually sent the text.

Suki Moore: Bryce & Suki’s Fuck Buddy Agreement: TERMINATED

Almost immediately her heart was in her throat and again knew sober Suki would regret this. It hurt. Knowing she’d put the final nail in the coffin.

Bryce’s dots popped up. Then down again. Then up, down. Then they never returned. The word read looking more and more like dread. He was probably glad to be free of her.

She found herself wondering how things had changed so drastically. Bryce had gone from being a stranger at a frat party to a colleague with undeniable chemistry to a fuck to… so much more. And now he was worse than a stranger. Her relationship with him was well and truly terminated.

What’s a break-up when the two were never really together?

[foggyladyking]

The places we don’t walk

Bryce Lahela x F! mc (Zelda Herschel)

words: 2170

summary: Rewrite of book 2 chap 11 from bryce’s pov, as Zelda stresses over everything happening and Bryce realizes he’s not content with just a smile, fickle promises, and leaving words unsaid to keep from going down to the places they won’t walk. 

rating: teen and up Light swearing, and light sexual themes

hurt/comfort 

_________

a/n

listen I hated how it emphasized how hot Bryce was, like okay we get it bryce is hot but his best friend is dying my thought wouldn’t be Let me look at your beautiful face one last time lets give bryce some more personhood other than being hot. pls fuck me pb wtf 

______________

Zelda pulled Bryce away from all the eyes to a supply closet, pushing him against a shelf, and pressing against him she attacked his lips. diving into him entirely.

her hands found their way under his scrubs, and his found their way to her waist. They had mere moments before a nurse would page her, moments before it was all shattered and the facade of perfection they created with each desperate kiss was gone. 

Bryce broke apart, giving a breathless laugh as he looked at her. Bags under her eyes that jumped around, she had this look of exhausted desperation on her, he didn't fail to notice how her hands shook ever so softly, the way she seemed to jump out of her skin at everything. 

"Do you wanna talk about it or just continue to kiss the shit out of me?" he asked with a gentle smile. "I don't think I can take this," She said before kissing him again. He pulled away once more only to wrap his arms around her. "what happened?" He asked "it's nothing, just kiss me," "It's obviously not nothing, have you slept?" 

She shot him a look that told him to proceed with caution. "What happened, Z?" He asked softly, smoothing her hair back into place. "Ethan is a bit.... much, He doesn't agree with what I'm trying to do to save the hospital and he's being such a..... baby, I've fought with him and argued for weeks, Bryce He makes me want to rip my hair out, He's so stuck on the idea of what the diagnostic team was meant to be and he only sees one part of what it means, You know? I feel like I'm playing wife, scolding him, when he's acting like a child," she let her head fall to Bryce's chest. 

"He's so goddamn difficult Everyone else on the team is trying, everyone else is playing their role but he's so.. stubborn," Bryce listened dutifully, soothing the back of her head and holding her in his arms. 

"I feel like things keep coming and coming and they keep pushing me and I know, they push everyone I know that's the point but I just feel like they push me harder?  I just- I don't know, I don't know, I just wanna give up, I don't want politics or anything, and I'm here, on T.V talking up some shitty politician, Pretending that's my job, Because yeah, now my phone's blowing up Because despite everything I'm reduced to Ramsey's 'possible new girlfriend' Because fuck me that's why," She ranted, taking a deep breath before looking up. 

"The curse of being hot, smart, and skilled, is that people only recognize one of the three at a time, it's a heavy cross to bear, Yknow?" She joked with a tired smile. Dismissing everything with that smile.

He knew it All too well what was happening, what she was doing so easily, pulling away and fixing herself. He knew and yet he stood there with a sad frown on his face, brows furrowed as he reached out slightly.

"Maybe let's go somewhere," Bryce tried with a smile, "you need a break from this place," He added hopefully. "If you could do anything what would you do?" He asked with a smile, they both recognized the plead, and neither acknowledged it, something that happened a lot with the pair if he was honest.

"It's okay, I should keep working on my cases, I'm sorry I went off like that, I'll make it up to you," She promised with a soft smile. "Zelda come on, It's okay, Let's do something," He urged wrapping his arms around her waist. 

She was saved by the abrasive lights from the hall flooding in,  An annoyed nurse standing in the doorway. Pulling away from him she fled past the nurse, smiling at him as she did. 

Bryce was left, disheveled and helpless. He let out a deep breath as he ran his hand through his hair, his pager going off once again, Pulling him away from Herschel's fleeting form, She was gone, walking beside someone else. 

With the mental promise to check up on her later, he allowed himself to be pulled away.

________

By the time he saw her again, it was before Krya's surgery and she seemed a bit better, She pressed a kiss to his lips and told him to take care of Krya before they separated.  

They separated all the time, parting ways with a promise to see each other at work, at a party, or just the next time they met up, A smile and a wave was a promise that they were only a text away, that if they needed the other, there they'd be. 

And then his hands started to shake, And as he finished the surgery and rushed to Zelda they didn't stop. He was met with a hoard of friends all looking at him with this grim look, they all went the same way.

He watched her through the window, pacing around the room, in bed was Rafael who followed his gaze and met him once again with a shrug, as if to say he'd already tried. 

"Zelda?" Bryce called from the other side of the wall. She turned to look at him, and with the knowledge, she was likely going to die, the first words out of her mouth upon seeing him was "Bryce, You shouldn't be here,"  He gave a soft smile and made a passing comment if he was honest he couldn't remember what he said, His mind was too wrapped up in watching her. 

She pressed her hand to the glass and sighed, within a second he pressed his own to the same spot on the glass. "Maybe Ethan will be less of a hardass on you, now," He joked with a hopeful smile. She let out a bittersweet laugh, and before he knew it there he was, fighting the same losing battle of trying to stay calm, to be strong in front of Zelda Herschel.

He watched as The diagnostic team drew blood, As Ethan lingered and once again, with the sound of his pager, he was pulled away.

But maybe for the best, as Bryce couldn't watch this, Watch her pale and her eyes roll back, He saw it enough He knew. He couldn't watch her wither away. 

He wasn't far, though, At all times he was a text away. She was pale and her cheeks had become gaunt, her lips were cracked and so dry she had a hard time stopping the habit she had since she was a child of picking at her lips till they bled. 

The hardest part of it all was watching through the glass as Ethan offered reassurance and dutifully she gave him her new symptoms with a gentle smile. It wasn't because he was jealous, it was the simple fact that she'd resigned into them failing that while they all tried to fix it, she was trying to ease them into the idea that if it can't be fixed she loved them. 

It was that at that moment she and Rafael shared a quiet resolve to make sure everyone knew that it was okay. 

He returned to her side after hours of working with some of the greatest minds he knew settled on the conclusion that there was no cure, she scanned their faces nodded, "how doomed am I?" She asked, If Bryce would have met her eyes, he would have seen that her's never left his form.

Bryce half-listened, to it all, the rundown of what he already knew, "I'm going to die here," She said and with a sigh that seemed sort of light she continued; "so be it," Three words that made the group flinch, ever so slightly. 

"Now's not the time to give up..." He heard Ethan say, But in honesty, they all knew He was just clinging to anything that might keep her from losing hope. As Sienna wetted the glass with her tears he finally looked at her, She watched her friend with a gentle smile. "I hear you no dying yet," she promised. 

And all at once, he was alone, and her eyes fell to him, with a forced smile he says "It's gonna be all right." Today seemed to be the day of promises made to ease hearts, he noted, making one of his own. 

"You don't have to be positive for my sake," She said gently. "I'm not, I can't let myself lose it, not when there's still hope," He said. She nodded thoughtfully, taking a labored breath before replying "whatever helps," 

Every moment felt heavier, with the weight of it all, with the fears they carried, and even as she gave him the same smile, the same one that said 'I'll see you later,' he came to the realization suddenly that the promise that was held in a smile wasn't enough for him. 

He suited up and within a moment, he was by her side, "what do you think? Am I still handsome? or am I maybe more handsome? Be honest." He said upon his entrance. 

The fear of making it real by saying anything else hindered him, But graciously She laughs, clapping lazily as he struts about in his bulky suit. 

"It's your best look yet," she informs with a tired grin. 

it's all coming down, He's losing her, he's losing her, it's over and they wasted time, This was it.  Every 'I love you' he trapped behind his teeth came back to the tip of his tongue. "I can't believe you actually came in here," She admitted with a sigh.

"if gonna be here for you I'm gonna be here for you," He said, As though repeated a club oath. 

"I'm not doing well on my own," She admits softly stroking her thumb over his rubber one. "No, no you've been brave," He denies. "I got two men killed because I was stupid," She reaffirms so sternly that it broke his heart.

So he does all he can, for the woman he loves and takes her in his arms just like before this began, Repeating "I'm sorry" till his voice broke. 

He gives her the only advice he can "stay positive," stupid as it may be, that's all he had. 

Even in joking, it all felt fragile, one breath it'd shatter. Everything was a funhouse version of their usual interactions, a melancholy facade of normalcy that she broke with "Did I tell you how thankful I am that you're here?" 

once the facade broke, so did Bryce's strained smile, "I was starting to go crazy worrying out there," He admits, "I couldn't imagine, I suppose it's just as hard, to watch," She replied. 

And it all came down, the weight of places they didn't walk, and the things they didn't say with the belief that it was obvious fell onto him, threatening to suffocate him. 

 "You mean a lot to me, More than you know, the idea of losing you...." He trailed off 

"if tonight's my last night, You're the one I want to spend it with," she said with a smile. 

She settled into the bed, too weak to pace about anymore, she looked up at him, in his bulky hazmat suit that was not at all made with cuddles in mind, and asked "Would you hold me?" her voice strained and rough, and Bryce didn't even have a thought of saying no. 

In the time spent spooning, it seemed everyone else spent it making a miracle because they rushed up, dark puffy eye bags looking more than a bit disheveled but with hopeful smiles on their faces. 

Bryce with his arm around her helps steady Zelda's arm, biting his lip as he watches the needle go in, sending a silent prayer to a god he doesn't believe in with it.

Reluctantly, to the demand of Ramsey, Bryce leaves her to rest, sleeping in the on-call dorm, despite being told to go home, no one would enforce this, in fact soon He was woken up by Ethan a broad smile playing on his face. "It's safe to go to her, without the hazmat suit, I have a feeling there's no other person she'd rather go tell her than you," He said gently.

And so, he did rushing in with all the confidence in the world, announcing "it worked?" A look of pure disbelief found its way to Zelda's face, so he strolled through the door with a grin, arms open as if to prove it. 

Without so much as another word, she jumps up and runs to his arms, nearly taking him down in the process, everything lost to him but her fists curled into his scrubs, and her lips on his. 

When they finally pulled apart, he rested his forehead against hers "thank you," "for what?" she asked with a soft smile. "for being alive." He replies, anchoring himself by embracing her.  

[checkurwindow]

since you walked out

Book: Open Heart

Warnings: Mentions of Christianity around the start if that requires a warning and one or two swears but other than that nothing much. Also a good amount of flashbacks. And while you’re at it, here’s my masterlist for more angst-filled works!

Rating: Teen

Pairing: Bryce x F!MC

Word Count: 3200+ A little higher than my usual word count but not the highest (Check out the fic with a word count of over 5200!)

Author’s Note: Finally back from my little break with a new Bryce fic. I got a burst of inspiration listening to songs and decided to write this. Also, flashbacks are in italic. Enjoy!

For as long as she could remember, her family would always drag her to church. They were always very religious. She would always be forced into a dress when they went out, constantly reminded to “act like a lady” whenever there were boys around, she’d be pushed to be the poster child of the perfect Christian.

When she was fourteen, she went into church on a Monday, for a funeral instead. She instantly noticed the change in tone the moment she set foot on the marble steps out front, and ever since then, she looked at churches a little differently. She realised that they held an entirely different meaning than she once thought. She learned that they could be just as devastating and sad as they were celebratory.

Like now, where people gathered at the steps, mingling and conversing in expensive clothes that they weren’t going to wear again. There was a truck out on the lawn a bit further from where she was, the workers hastily moving tables and decorations to a tent that was set up at the back. To her side, there were a handful of people complimenting a little girl in a white dress. 

A stretch limousine pulled up at the side of the road and a few women climbed out of the car, all wearing matching pale coloured dresses. 

She tugged at her own dress and hoped that the simple colour of her own dress would allow her to blend into the crowd and go about unnoticed. Aurora had told her it was fine; besides, it wasn’t as if a fancy new dress was something that would fit in her budget. 

And it wasn’t like anyone here would care about her, much less her appearance and what she’s wearing. If someone was to take notice of her, it definitely wouldn’t be because of her dress. They weren’t there for her. In fact, she was yet to spot a single familiar face, which should have been a good thing for her, but she couldn’t help but wonder how many of the guests present both parties actually knew and had met prior to that day.

“Would you ever get married?”

He let out an annoyed sigh, “marriage isn’t as meaningful as one might think, why should I have to document my love to you if we both already know the truth?”

“Okay,” she said, a little disappointed, “but I wouldn’t mind seeing you in a fancy tux,” she smiled, but it didn’t seem to affect him in the slightest.

“Is that really why you want a wedding? Because I would gladly put on something as simple as a tux if it meant that you’d be down t-”

“No, that’s not the only reason. I’d like a wedding, I think that it’d be nice. It wouldn't even have to be a big one,” she could imagine them on a beach, maybe a small service in their apartment, she wouldn’t even have minded just going to the courthouse and having a nice dinner afterward. 

“It’s not like we’d have enough people for a big wedding anyway, we’re always so busy.”

She sat down next to him and stroked his thick brown hair with her fingers, “we could just invite our friends from edenbrook, and my parents, you know how much they love you. We don’t need a bunch of people around to have a wedding.”

“Good, because I don’t want a giant guest list where there are different number tables and- and a full service and a grand ceremony. I just...I just want you.”

She wondered how much of this was total bullshit.

From where she was standing, she didn’t think anyone would approach her. The lake behind them was breathtaking, but the crowd was rather anxious and impatient, they were waiting to sit down and for the ceremony to start.

Some people passed by her, and she picked up on certain things they said, like how “beautiful the church is” or “she picked out the perfect dress, her father was crying because it was so pretty” and her favorite one, “just wait till you see this guy, they are just perfect for each other.”

Perfect.

“I told you, I can’t dance.”

“And I was a fool not to believe you, you’ve stepped on my foot so many times I think it’s bruised,” he teased then laughed when she hit his shoulder.

“I hate you,” she looked up at the dark sky above them and shuddered at the thunder that rumbled, “why are we even doing this?”

“Because dancing in the rain is on my bucket list,” he twirled her around then hurriedly pulled her back in when she started to fumble and stumble.

“Okay, but why right now with me? You seriously expect me to believe that all throughout your life you haven’t had a chance to dance in the rain?” she grimaced as she felt a few drops of water drip into her eye.

“Maybe I was just waiting for the perfect person to share this experience with,” he wrapped his hand around her waist and she chuckled.

“Perfect? Please, I am far from perfect,” they met each other’s gaze and she got butterflies just from seeing that look in his eyes. 

“That may be true, but this is perfect,” the rain started to get heavier, their clothes and hair completely soaked long ago, “you and me, here right now, together. It’s perfect.”

Lost in her own thoughts, she didn’t hear the sound of metal and wheels quickly approaching her, only being knocked out of her trance when he called out to her. She turned her head a little too fast, scared that she would be caught, afraid that there would be a giant scene, and that she would lose her chance.

At what exactly, she hadn’t really figured out yet.

“It’s really you, isn’t it?”

Elijah was always so welcoming, she never once felt out of place with him by her side. Even now, despite the circumstances, he still held a small smile on his face as he approached her, dressed nicely in a suit, even his wheelchair had little decorations.

“Hey, Elijah,” She gripped her own arm, unsure if it would be inappropriate to interact with him even more than she already had, “I like the decorations on your wheelchair.”

“Thanks,” he said, “Phoebe and I made them together,” he moved a little in his seat to show off a few hidden decorations. He looked just the same as she had really seen him up close almost a year ago.

“It looks nice! How...how have you been?” She didn’t really know what she was doing. Maybe she was hoping the small talk would be a distraction for the time being, she wasn’t ready to talk about the obvious out in the open just yet. 

“I’m doing okay. Phoebe and I moved in together a couple weeks back, it’s going well...” he trailed off with a fond smile on his face. 

“I’m happy for you, Elijah. You really deserve it.”

He smiled, “thanks. What have you been up to?” 

She winced and tried not to fidget. “Nothing much, really. I visited my parents a few days ago. Everything’s like usual, it’s good.”

He nodded, and just like a wave, tension flooded the air around them. 

She refused to look down and meet his eyes, to either see full curiosity, disappointment, or any other mood that would just make her feel sick to her stomach, will have her asking the same question over and over to herself. However, the silence couldn’t stay too long. 

“What- why are you here?” He asked in a sympathetic tone. 

An older woman was yelling at a worker, wanting more champagne for the bride's suite. She was aggressive, and yet the guests around her weren’t baffled at her behavior in the slightest.

She hated entitlement, hated more when the rich forgot that other people aren’t as fortunate enough as them. 

She also hated that he was still staring at her while she was wondering if her own mother would be so stressed to the point of lashing out at others around her.

“How long have they been engaged?” She found herself asking the question as a desperate last attempt to quiet her thoughts of if they were stuck in one place and never seemed to want more.

“6 months,” he responded, knowing what those two little words would do to her, “she’s sweet, she has a good heart, she doesn’t push him.”

Ouch.

“And she makes him happy.”

Another stab of pain.

“Do you ever think that we were...unhappy?” His facial expression went soft when she finally looked him in the eye. He tried to think of all the ways he could word his next sentence carefully, but it was no use; he knew she could see the real answer on his face.

“I think you two...worked well together. I think you enjoyed the company of one another, and maybe you were even in love once-”

Once.

“-but that’s in the past.”

Past.

“Right now, over a hundred people are here to celebrate what’s best for them.”

Them. 

It was something unspoken, but she picked up on his hints and nudges, she knew what he was trying to get at. She knew that he was wordlessly telling her that her presence was unwelcome and that it would be for the best if she left.

Why was she here? Why did she think that today would be the day to confess her feelings that never drifted away? Why was she so selfish, and think that her happiness was more important than his?

She heard swift footsteps approach her and Elijah. She slowly turned around, hoping it wouldn’t be the one person who could cause her to break down and fall apart with just a single glance.

“What are you doing here? You weren’t invited, you aren’t supposed to be here!” Keiki lashed out. She was loud, almost yelling at her, and it was causing a scene, something she really didn’t want. Keiki looked like she was about to jump her when Elijah moved in between them, separating them with his wheelchair. 

“Relax, Keiki,” He looked back at her with a pointed look, “she was just leaving.”

There was a pause, and she almost believed that yes, she was leaving. That was her cue, no one wanted her here, she wasn’t supposed to be here. Who was she to ruin a wedding? How could she do something so terrible to him

“Move in with me,” he ran his hand over her back, listening closely to her slow breaths.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. It’d be nice, getting to come back home after a long day of surgery and join you in bed, falling asleep together,” he thought she was already half asleep and couldn’t even register much less comprehend a single word of what he was saying.

He was proven wrong when she raised her head and looked back at him in the dark room, the only source of light from the window that was cracked open just enough to let the cool night air flow in.

“You’re right. I’m doing internal medicine so I don’t get to see you at the hospital as much as I’d like. This would definitely make up for the lost time,” she smirked as he nudged her gently with his leg. 

“Definitely,” he laughed softly.

She kissed his chest and smiled up at him, “if I move in, there’s no turning back. I can’t afford to keep switching back and forth.”

He smiled, “I couldn’t think of anywhere else I’d rather want you to be.”

She gave them a curt nod with a tight-lipped smile, her lips quivering in the slightest as she walked backward a few steps before fully turning her back on them, on him.

She walked past the crowd, past the church, past the parking lot, all the way down to the end of the lake. She was away from everything else, but not from her own lingering thoughts.

There was no way she was leaving, she couldn’t allow herself to, no matter how much she wanted to run away and forgot about everything. Even from where she stood, she could hear the beats of the wedding music. 

Can’t Help Falling In Love, Elvis Presley.

Tears welled up at the sides of her eyes as she remembered the last time she had heard that song. That was the song he had played from his car as they danced in the rain. It was one of his favourites, she always thought that that song would play as she walked down the aisle towards him. She supposed it was true for him, but only him.

Her feet had already started to move before her mind could even have the chance to make a decision.

There was an elderly couple just walking into the room, and luckily the doorman held the large wooden door open for her. She thanked him and took the grand venue in. On each bench, there was a bouquet of flowers, a white row leading up to the altar. It was packed, and she could only imagine how many people she was about to shock. 

She sat in an empty aisle seat in the back, and finally realized that she was just reaching the top of the stairs, kissing her father’s cheek before he gave her over to him. 

“Should I cut my hair?” He asked, looking at his hair in the mirror with a slight frown.

“No, I like it the way it is. It’s nice,” she said from the bed, her eyes still on the book in her hands. 

“Eh, it’s too long; and it uses way too much gel to make it neat in the mornings. And it gets really messy again when I take my scrub cap off after surgery.” 

She came up behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist, nestling her face against his sides, “well, personally, I really like it, but it is your hair. You know I’ll still love you no matter how your hair is, even if you’re bald.

“If I’m bald this early in life, please leave me. My head does NOT look good bare, trust me.”

“Nope. I’ll still be with you, even if you’re bald and I still have a head full of thick hair. You’re mine forever,” a grin formed on his face and he turned around, planting his lips on hers.

“I better be.”

The once cherished moments only seemed to hurt her more than she already was. Sometimes memories are the worst form of torture, especially when the person who shared those memories is gone.

He looked just like she had imagined. In fact, he hadn’t changed that much. He was dressed in a sharp and expensive-looking tux, his hair gelled and combed perfectly, the only flaw was that his smile didn’t seem to reach his eyes.

He had done everything he told her he would never do, yet it was for another woman.

Swallowing back the growing lump in her throat, she tapped her foot nervously as the minister started to speak.

“We are gathered here today to celebrate-”

“Stop being such a poor sport!”

“You cheated! You know what, it doesn’t matter, because I know the real truth.”

“The truth? Fine, I’ll tell you the damn truth! Bryce Lahela sucks at Mario Kart!”

“You take that back!”

“Throughout their time together, they have realised that their dreams and aspirations are more meaningful through a beautiful combination of mutual love and support.”

“I’m proud of you.”

“It’s not that big of a deal.”

“Are you kidding? You got the first solo surgery of your class! You’ve come so far, Bryce. You study, you practice, heck, you’re at the hospital even more than I am! You deserve this, Bryce, you deserve everything good that you have in your life.”

“Does that include you? Because I still don’t think I deserve that one yet,” he smirked and kissed her forehead. 

“As we create this marriage, we create a new bond and a new sense of family.”

“I hope our kids have your eyes.”

“If we’re thinking about children, I have no problem shoving them right back up there if they don’t look exactly like you.” 

“Bryce, honey, what the fuck is wrong with you?”

“I’m just saying. Your eyes, your nose, your smile, I want them to have everything I love about you. Which is every single thing feature and personality trait of yours. Maybe except your sense of style, I think they’d be better off with mine.”

“Hey!”

“Now, before they begin their vows, if anyone can show just cause as to why this couple lawfully cannot be wed together in this holy matrimony,”

“You’re being ridiculous!” 

“No, I’m the only one being reasonable! You can’t seriously think that I��m just going to let this go!”

“Where are we going? We’re stuck in the same spot and have been for a long time, I can’t do it anymore!”

“Then don’t,” she croaked out, the quietest any one of them had been that entire conversation.

“Speak now, or forever hold your pe-”

“I think I’m falling in love with you,” she wiped away the tears at the side of her eyes as he held her closer to his chest, “and I’m terrified.” 

She pushed her doubts away and stood up, interrupting the silence in the church. 

Almost immediately, every single eye was on her, except one pair, the only pair of eyes she wanted to look at her. Gasps rippled all throughout the crowd, one woman even let out a horrified yell, and a man a few rows in front of her scoffed. The commotion was big enough to draw the bride and groom’s attention away from each other.

A surge of warmth flowed through her body as his brown eyes connected to hers. 

Bryce’s emotions went in flashes. He was a bit confused at first, as to why their loved ones were making so much noise just as they were about to be married. Then it was anger after realising that it was a result of someone objecting to their wedding. Lastly, it was sadness after he saw who exactly had stopped them.

Maybe it was because he hasn’t seen her since she walked out. Maybe it was because she was ruining his special day. Maybe it was because he knew she had lost her chance years ago, and that even he knew it was too late to turn back time.

Maybe it was because he knew exactly how this situation would turn out. Maybe it was because he was about to have to break her heart one last time.

She took a shuddering breath, then uttered those three little words that could shatter the hearts of everyone in the room. But she ignored the appalled expressions of the crowd, she ignored the angry expression of Keiki, ignored the devastated look on the woman who stood on the very spot she had hoped for so long to stand in.

Instead, she focused on the man at the very end of the altar, desperation and longing in her eyes. Instead, she focused on him, on the smallest quirk at the side of his lips, the smallest chance that he could still provide her with the hope and love that he had once promised so long ago.

[lovingmyselfcore]

Chapter One

Skate Into My Heart -- Solangelo AU

It’s finally here!

In the prologue I said that sectionals came first- I’m sorry part of the internet lied to me. Regionals is first so that’s what’ll be happening here

Bryce was barreling towards him.

Clarisse attempted to take the puck and stop Bryce but today he was chock full of red-hot anger and elbowed her out of his way, swiping at her ankles with his stick.

She barely managed to skate out of his way and yelled, “Lawrence! What’s the matter with you!” 

It seemed to go in one ear and out the other.

He kept the puck close to him, keeping every other player away from him.

And he just kept his course straight to the goal. Straight to Will.

It was a practice game. Didn’t he know that? What was he doing? This wasn’t a big deal.

Bryce was still skating when he shot. It seemed like it was in slow-motion. The puck soared through the air, rising off the ice.

Will dove to block it from entering the goal - which was the wrong move. It hit him square in his chest, with enough force to make Will abruptly lose his breath.

Bryce came to a halt in front of him, spraying Will with ice shards.

“Lawrence, it seemed like that had quite the pent up aggression,” Connor said, while Will caught his breath.

Bryce rolled his eyes, taking off his helmet. “Just cause Solace and the rest of you are weak pussies.”

“Pussies’?” Travis came up behind Connor. “What’s that supposed to mean?” Clarisse only snarled her agreement.

“Guys,” Jason said. “Come on, it’s just Bryce being Bryce.”

Bryce turned to face Jason. “What is that supposed to mean, Grace.”

Jason crossed his arms, his eyes flashing. 

“Why was that the term you picked?” Clarisse asked, her voice low. Dangerous.

“This isn’t helping anything.” Will cut in. “Let’s just leave it. He’ll learn his lesson eventually. Someone will teach him.”

Jason seemed to steel himself, “Yeah. Let’s not fight.”

“Why?” Bryce taunted. “Are you both gay or something?” Will felt his hand twitch, almost curling itself into a fist. Surveying the team, everybody seemed to be holding themselves back.

Will was saved from answering Bryce’s (admittedly, most likely rhetorical, though it was doubtful he knew what that word meant) when he heard someone yell, “Will!”

It was Kayla standing at the edge of the rink. He skated over to her and came to a stop in front of her.

He jumped up to sit on the thick barrier and pull his skates off. “What?” He looked over to see Kayla looking at him with her arms crossed over her chest.

“I’ve been trying to get your attention for ages now. Your mom keeps calling your phone.”

Will went quiet, holding back a curse.

Kayla looked at him sympathetically despite him not saying anything.

“Alright. Thanks.” She patted him on the shoulder as he wove around her.

“Hey, mom,”

“William. Why haven’t you answered me?”

“I’ve been practicing, mom.”

“Practicing for anything in particular?” Her voice was high - too high - he knew this always meant she expected an answer he couldn’t give her.

“Hockey, mom.”

She sighed sadly and he got defensive.

“You know I’m only playing to try and somehow help me get through med school.”

“I know, honey. But still, it’s such a brutish sport, and locker rooms,” He could feel her shudder through the phone. “All the men.”

Will knew better than to probe about what that meant.

It would be easier to get through med school if you let me ask - or even talk - to dad. You and I both know he’d be willing. It is Medical School.

He didn’t say that though, it would only piss her off or make her sad and it just wouldn’t be a good situation. 

After an awkward silence, he saw Jason poke his head into the narrow corridor Will was in. Jason made some frantic, but quiet (ever polite) hand motions.

Will didn’t know if he should be feeling such intense relief, considering Jason’s face was pretty panicked.

“Mom, I’ve got to know. They need me.”

“Okay,” She said hesitantly. “Make sure to study tonight. You’ve got to keep everything fresh. Always.”

He wasn’t even in school yet. (He was trying though). And she wanted him to know everything.

Will didn’t know what he hated more. His mother’s expectations, or Bryce Lawerence. Really, it was a difficult choice.

She hung up before he could say anything.

He jogged over to where Jason was. “C’mon,” Jason said.

While they were walking Jason kept glancing at Will with a concerned expression. “What,” Will said finally, lips quirking into a smile.

“You alright, man? Your facial expressions during that call didn’t seem great.”

Will shrugged dismissively, “Just my mom. You know how that is.”

Jason laughed darkly, “Don’t I.”

“So what’s up,” Will asked, remembering how frantic he’d been.

“Oh, yeah. Um.”

Will grinned, “Spit it out, Grace. I’m a big boy. I can take it.”

Jason snorted. “I need someone to come with me to the figure skating Regionals tonight.”

Will tripped over his own feet but caught himself before he hit the ground.

Jason looked at him with brief worry then just burst out laughing.

“Leave me alone,” But Will was laughing too. “Why?”

“So you know, my sister Thalia,” Will nodded - everybody knew Thalia - “She’s best friends with this woman, Annabeth Chase. They’ve known each other since Annabeth was seven. Old history ya know.”

“So Annabeth’s a skater. She was going to be competing actually. But something awful happened with her boyfriend, he’s across the country. I’m unsure about the details. Thalia left to meet them earlier today, she’s also close with the boyfriend, I guess. So Thals needs me to go because apparently these tickets cost a lot and she doesn’t want them to go to waste.”

Jason’s voice got low like he was sharing a conspiracy nobody knew. “A little secret about me, I appreciate figure skaters.”

Will let out a surprised laugh and made his voice as low as Jason’s, “Me too.”

Jason smiled, “I figured. Which is why I’m inviting you. Thalia had two. One for her, and one for Grover Underwood.”

Will hummed his acknowledgment. “Yeah, dude. Of course, I’ll come. Just tell me time and place.”

Jason pumped his fist in the air.

~~~~~

Jason had told him he would pick him up, so here Will was. Waiting for Jason to arrive. He’d dressed nice (but not too nice) it was a competition after all, and despite how much he’d deny it his mother’s lessons in etiquette had stuck.

Will was texting, sitting on the couch up against the window in his small apartment. He was letting the dying sunlight filter in and light the space. The reds and oranges and yellows made Will look like some sort of deity. It haloed his hair and accentuated the sharp planes of his face. His feet were propped, knees bent, next to him. 

It was a groupchat with Austin, Kayla, and himself. The only way it could be summed up is: chaos.

Kayla: Sooooo

Austin: Yes?

Kayla: Not you

Austin: How dare you

Kayla: Go play your saxophone and feel better

Austin: I will

Austin: Not because you told me to

Kayla: Oh of course not

Will: So that ‘soooo’ was for me, then?

Kayla: Oh yeah

Kayla: Any cutes boys you’ve met recently?

Will: You know that you’d know if I met anybody

Austin: Is there anybody lgbt even at the rink

Will: Oh yeah but nobody I’ve noticed I like

Kayla: :(

Will was startled by a knock on the door. 

“It’s open!” He called, getting off the couch to meet Jason.

~~~ Nico

I slowly sank to a sitting position, feeling the rough brick scrape my back. I knew it would leave noticeable marks but right now, I couldn’t bring myself to care.

I had been stretching and messing around with the others but suddenly my chest had felt very tight.

Hazel had seen the pained expression on my face and made some excuse, letting me slip out the backdoor.

I couldn’t do this.

Saltwater. I tasted salt water.

I couldn’t.

It trickled down my neck.

I couldn’t.

I was so fucking weak.

For so, so many reasons.

I could feel the gradually growing serpent of my anxieties building in the back.

I hadn’t practiced for this enough, and I was going to let everyone down.

The judges were going to find out my most closely guarded secret and-

No. Forget the judges. Everyone was going to find out.

Everyone.

I was probably going to mess up and embarrass myself in one of the biggest competitions of my life.

I was going to let everyone down.

Again. 

I’d found a family and all because I was a fucking failure, I was going to lose them.

I knew I had enough cash in my bag to leave if I had to.

By bag I mean the one I always had:

A change of clothes

Cash for bus tickets

Bottled water and protein bars

A pocket knife.

But it wouldn’t be enough, would it?

I still wouldn’t be able to get away from the shame.

From any of the shame.

Why did I have to be this way? Why

I couldn’t breathe

I couldn’t fucking breathe.

The saltwater ran like a perverted caress down my face and neck and chest.

I shivered involuntarily

“Hey,” The voice was soft, and not familiar.

I turned so quickly half of my face scraped the wall.

We winced in sync.

It was the boy I’d seen in the rink some time ago, the hockey player.

~~~~

Will

“Hey, Jason?”

He looked at me.

We were being jostled through the crowd. There were so many people. So many.

“I need some air. Can you text me our seat numbers?”

He paused and looked at me. At how my eyes flitted around the room and my flinch every time someone ran into me.

“Yeah, of course, dude.” He made shooing motions with his hands, making me snort. He grinned but kept staring at me until I turned around and started pushing my way through the crowd.

I knew I couldn’t go outside the front door, there would be even more people there. So I did something scandalous.

I pushed open the door marked Employees Only and was ejected outside the back of the building. 

I was walking along the wall when I saw movement a few feet away.

It was a boy, pressing himself against the wall like it was simultaneously all that was keeping him alive and like he wanted to fade into it.

“Hey,” I murmured like I was attempting to talk down a tiger.

He turned, scraping his face along the wall. But he didn’t seem to feel it.

He looked like some kind of ghoul, sitting there. The bad lighting from the street lamps washed out his ivory skin, making him look deathly.

Those dark eyes peered at me.

He’d look terrifying, except he appeared too small for his body.

He was shivering, tears running freely down his face.

At the angle he was sitting, it looked like his bones were almost poking out of his skin.

Some sense in me was screaming to help him, and though he looked like the opposite type to accept my help he hadn’t run away either.

I looked him up and down and saw with panic he seemed to be holding his breath, but he didn’t seem to realize it.

I didn’t know who this boy was, besides seeing him occasionally at the rink.

But we were both here and like hell was I going to leave him.

~~~~

Nico

He was looking at me with a look of sympathy. Not pity. Sympathy.

He reached out but I flinched away from him and he let his hand drop.

“Can you breathe?” His voice was serious but caring. I couldn’t really see him, the water in my eyes distorted him but I felt like he was some kind of god. He looked like pure sunlight.

I only shook my head, suddenly feeling the urge to take large gulping breaths.

“Put your head between your knees.”

He didn’t reach for me again, but his fingers twitched like he wanted to.

The surrounding world was a dull roar in my ears. The serpent, who’d been ready to devour me whole, angrily shrank back into the recesses of my brain until I could only see those slit-pupiled eyes. It was only lying in wait. Like always. When I lifted my head, my scowl was back.

Despite the rivulets of saltwater- not tears, I couldn’t call them that - I snarled at him, “Leave me alone. I didn’t ask for your help.”

He raised his hands in surrender, “I’m sorry. I’m not going to tell anyone what happened here, so you don’t have to worry about that. Nico, right?”

I just growled again but he didn’t seem to take the hint. He had a small backpack next to him and he rummaged through it and handed me some tissues and a water bottle.

I raised my eyebrows.

“I figured you wouldn’t want to cross through to go to the bathroom.”

I grudgingly accepted and started wiping at my face after dampening the tissues. He pulled out a small tube of ointment. “Put it on your face, okay? The scrape is not that bad. But it can’t hurt.”

I just stared blankly at him and he laid it next to me with a smile.

He waved, a little awkwardly, as he walked away.

As I stared at the ointment and the tissues and water I could only come up with one coherent thought:

What the fuck

~~~~ Will

His phone pinged with a message from Jason. After a few seconds of searching, he found it in his small backpack. He distractedly glanced over the text.

Jason: We’re in row A, seats 5 and 6. Thalia got us right up front.

Will: Sounds good

Will: I’ll head there now

He slipped his phone back into his bag.

He really hoped Nico was okay. He was a figure skater and most likely is competing tonight, and Will had never seen him in action but he was almost positive they would need him.

“Hey!” Jason waved to him from their seats and Will slid in next to him.

“You okay?” Jason asked after Will got settled. “You looked pretty uncomfortable.”

“Hmm? Oh. Yeah, I’m okay. I’m not normally like that but something about that environment.” He shuddered. “Anyway, everything’s good now.”

Jason nodded with a smile.

Will surveyed the rink. It was nicer than their rinks back at the studio which was saying something.

He spotted the judge's podium, on a small platform slightly above the rink. There were five judges, none of them looking like they entirely wanted to be here and all of them looking like they would throttle whoever came out.

Not only did the judges look unhappy, but about half of the crowd also did too. They were all shifting like they were here, but there was somewhere else they’d rather be. Why come then?

Will couldn’t imagine being one of the skaters in the locker rooms right now, he’d probably throw up.

“First up!” The booming voice of the announcer made Will jump slightly in his seat.

“The singles competition,” He drawled. “From Crescent City…”

Will tuned him out as he watched the woman glide out onto the ice. She was really good and kept most of the crowd entranced, but Will also had an eye on the judges. Only a few of them seemed impressed but only one seemed bored, which most likely was a good thing for her.

“From Olympus Ice,”

Jason and Will leaned forward at the same time.

“Nico Di Angelo!”

Will felt himself clapping as soon as his name was announced.

Nico seemed to magically appear on the ice, looking significantly more confident than the last time he’d seen him.

He appeared to take a deep breath and steel himself before beginning his routine. It was magic. Pure magic.

The way he flew made it look like he’d been born to do this.

It was elegant, but, in a way, suspenseful. Like he could do something unexpected at any moment.

Will was frozen, lips slightly parted as Nico made everyone believe he owned the rink.

He wove a story with his fluid movements, a story that held Will captive.

He attempted a move that never in Will’s wildest dreams could he do, everyone watched as he spun with bated breath and cheered when he landed but the skater in Will recognized that he hadn’t done it. He almost did, and he definitely caught himself, but he hadn’t done it.

And if those judges were worthy at all for their position, they would know too.

Nico finally slid to a stop in front of the judges, his arms crossed over his chest and his chin tilted upward, challenging them to mention the slip-up.

It was quite a scene. He looked almost ethereal and they were all sitting (or standing in Nico’s case) looked like something out of a painting.

Later, after the other singles and the partners and the ensembles, the audience was still, waiting for the announcement.

“The 1st place winner, and who will be going to Sectionals is…

Olympus Ice!” People burst into applause but Will was only staring at Nico who was standing with his team, a barely-there smile present on his face, but enough to make Will whisper, “Wow,”

Jason glanced at him, then at where he was staring. “Don’t do that, Will. No figure skaters. You know that.”

Will rolled his eyes and scoffed,  “I would never.”

Jason sighed and smiled, “Good.”

[estellaelysian]

Questions

This is a bit of a rewrite of CH 1, OPH BK 2.

Just felt nostalgic.

(I changed the end a little bit)  You’ll see.

Song to listen to: Touch it - Ariana Grande

**********

Two long months.

Two months, spent without those deep green eyes following him everywhere. Without the soft, sad smile and without the voice he had memorized a million times over.

All that time, spent in aching, hurting, in thinking about unyielding what-ifs, even though he was the one who had pushed her away.

But now, she was here.

He had successfully kept himself away from her for two months, but now what? He didn’t trust himself around her which is why time and again there was only one question hovering in the air around him.

Why do it?

And how? How are you going to keep pushing her away? Keep breaking her heart, over and over again?

No.

He had to.

He couldn’t not do it and then resent himself for ruining her professional development, when he knew what she was capable of doing.

His eyes were drawn, irresistibly, back to where she was sitting, and he felt a horrible disgust build in the pit of his stomach.

Why was he doing this to her and to himself, he didn’t know.

She sat in one of the high bar stools, away from her friends who were in the beer garden. He had seen the look in her eyes when he had entered Donahue’s, bringing together a chill cold blast of air and a no-go zone around him; the look of plain care and concern for him, masked by deep pain, everything hiding behind a smile. He had no idea of the reaction he would get when he made an appearance in front of her, but that look enough had been heart wrenching.

He had expected her to come talk to him then, right then, but instead, she didn’t. She just excused herself from her friends, not meeting his gaze at all after that.

‘Give me a few minutes, guys, I’ll be back.’

Now she sat, sipping a scotch neat, wavy dark hair swept over one shoulder and an iPod clutched in her hands.

That’s when she turned, and met his gaze.

***

His summer blue eyes turned away again, and she found her gaze averted as well, now staring at the amber liquid in her glass as music poured out of the iPod, much like her current situation.

She remembered those two months, no contact no anything, just spent away from each other, and she didn’t even knew why. It was crushing that he hadn’t even deemed it important to tell her once that he would be gone for two months. He just left.

And then there was living without his ever-demanding presence around her, where she just felt odd, empty and heartbroken.

But now what?

He was back now, and she didn’t know what to do.

Just like she didn’t know what to do in those two months he was away.

How do I make the phone ring?

Why do I even care?

How are you all around me,

When you’re not really there?

When you’re not really there?

The song started over again, and she closed her tear filled eyes, losing herself in her surroundings.

How do I feel you want me,

When you’re not on my skin?

Why do you say you want me,

Then tell me I’m not coming in?

Baby just come on in

She startled when she felt a hand on her shoulder, and turned to find Bryce standing behind her, wearing his megawatt smile. Smiling back, she pulled off the earphones.

‘Lish, are you okay?’

‘Yeah I’m fine,’ she lied. ‘Just needed a minute for myself.’

‘Yeah sure. Do you feel up for a game of darts?’

She turned once, risking a glance in Ethan’s direction, who refused to meet her gaze, and slid off the barstool. ‘Yeah. Let’s go.’

***

Ethan finished his drink in one long gulp and looked away from her disappearing figure before standing up and walking over to the bar. He took a seat in the barstool she had used, bowing his head and cursing himself for the millionth time over. Evidently spending two months apart, putting both of them through all that anguish and hurt had done nothing good for them. He wanted to be with her, he did. But it probably wasn’t in the cards for him.

Not being happy, and not making her happy.

God, he hated himself.

He raised the glass to his lips when he heard the commotion break out in the bar, and turned to the source causing it.

He wouldn’t have intervened, but something about the sight of that fight made him start toward it.

***

It didn’t take much long for the atmosphere to settle down after that. Soon, everyone went back to talking amiably and sipping their drinks, but before long, her friends had plans to continue the night.

She turned to look at him.

Talking to him would be difficult, she knew, and yet, one glance in his direction was enough to crumble all her defenses. She looked between him and her friends, but the words left her mouth even before she knew it.

‘You guys go ahead. I wanna go and check in about tomorrow with Dr. Ramsey.’

‘Don’t stay up too late,’ Sienna said, but at the point, she was barely listening, her senses already tuned to Ethan, even though she would end up being wrong about all she wanted to hear from him.

‘Cause every time I’m with you

I go into a zone

And I remember all the places you wanna go

Take me all the way

Ain’t nobody gonna touch it, touch it, touch it

Taking a seat in front of him, she put on a small smile as he looked up at her, his blue eyes running over her face, taking her in.

‘Cause every time I’m with you

I don’t wanna behave

I’m tired of being patient

So let’s pick up the pace

Take me all the way

Ain’t nobody gonna touch it, touch it, touch it

‘Rook—er Alishka. Sorry. Force of habit.’

She nodded toward his rugged jacket and spoke through the lump in her throat. ‘We’ve got ourselves a brand new Ethan Ramsey.’

‘The jacket’s been through a lot with me.’

‘It suits you,’ she said in an earnest, smiling a real smile for the first time that night.

‘Duly noted. And the beard?’

He didn’t know what he was doing, but he was way past caring.

‘It looks good on you.’

He scratched at it thoughtfully, wishing they weren’t chest deep in this time with this circumstance that kept them together, and yet pulled them apart. Pushing away the unease to a far corner in his chest, he said, ‘I’ve gotten used to it.’ A beat of silence. ‘Why don’t we move outside? It’ll be winter before we know it. Might as well enjoy the weather while we can. You want something to drink?’

He knew they were skirting the edge of things, but with his emotions in upheaval, it was taking all he had to not reach for her hand or kiss her.

‘Whatever you are having,’ she said quietly.

He reached over the bar and grabbed a half drunk bottle of scotch. ‘Hey Reggie, we are borrowing this.’

Reggie waved him on.

They headed out to the beer garden, which was silent and deserted by patrons, because it was way past the last call.

Ethan took a seat beside a small fire pit, and she scooted in beside him. They talked, but he noticed her hesitation and it broke his heart. He watched her intently as she stared into the fire, the flames casting soft shadows over her face, making her beauty more refined.

‘So this Dr. Throne guy … should I be worried about him?’ she asked.

Ethan’s words didn’t quiet reach her ears, she was far too distracted thinking about the best way to ask him the question she really wanted an answer to.

‘You did the right thing, standing up for that girl.’

‘We both know that’s not true.’

‘You are too young to be a cynic like me.’

‘I’m not being cynical. I just learned my lesson. You saw what happened last year. I almost lost my license for breaking the rules to help Mrs. Martinez.’

‘The lesson there is that you put your patients first, you’ll always be vindicated in the end. That’s the lesson. What you did just now was brave. You’ve always been brave in the face of disaster and death, and ofcourse… but it’s different when you are facing down a superior. To stand up to them for what’s right.’

‘It’s not as brave as venturing into the depths of Amazon to fight a pandemic, that’s for sure …’ she said, not bothering to hide the sarcasm in her tone.

A somber look fell over Ethan’s face. He looked back at his drink, contemplating his response. In that moment, it was as if he was robbed of all words but a few, which would never explain his reasons and how stupid he felt they were.

I am sorry, Alishka. I had to.

‘…That wasn’t bravery.’

The world seemed quite still at that exact moment. Desperate, he thought again about all he wanted to tell her, but before he could speak the words, she raised her gaze to his.

‘Ethan, why didn’t you keep in touch? No word from you at all for two months? After all that happened between us?’

‘Everything that happened between us is exactly the reason I didn’t contact you.  Alishka, if we are going to work together on the diagnostics team, we need a fresh start. Your professional development is too important to jeopardize it with whatever ... whatever it was we had’

Whatever. Whatever it was we had. Had. Past tense.

‘Had?’

‘Yes. And the past is where it has to remain.’

How do you know I’m breathing,

When I’m holding my breath?

His gaze swept over her face, seeing right through her as if she was made of glass. It was the way he always saw her.

Without thinking, she pressed her lips to his.

Why don’t we face the danger

Just for the night and forget?

Baby let’s just forget

He tensed noticeably. His defenses were going up, and it registered as an ache.

When she leaned back, staring into his eyes from just inches away, a storm of desire and pain played out on his face. With that look, she felt everything slipping away.

‘Dammit Alishka.’

‘If you don’t want to kiss me again, then just tell me—’

He fought to keep his voice steady.

‘It has nothing to do with want. I can’t. And if I give a damn about you, I won’t. How am I supposed to push you to be everything you can if I…’

He trailed off, looking away.

‘If you what?’ she prompted gently, not sure if she wanted to know.

He didn’t look at her, and that was it.

‘Okay. I get it,’ she whispered. ‘I’ll see you tomorrow, Dr. Ramsey.’

He flinched at her formality, watching as she rose and turned to leave. Before he could stop himself, he caught her by her wrist, her skin warm on his fingers.

‘Alishka, please,’ he pleaded.

She turned to look at him, her eyes bright with tears.

‘Please what? I am listening to you, aren’t I? Even though you know it’s not easy. All I could think of the last two months was you and how much you meant to me. Even now, when I’m here with you, all I can think of is how right this feels. And I don’t want to leave you, but I am, because that’s what you asked me to do. What else do you expect from me?’

At her words, he felt as if he was slapped. In her face, the silent resignation was as pronounced as her pain. He drew her into his arms, pulling her close. She shook her head, trying and failing to keep the tears from falling. ‘Does this make you happy, doing all this?’ she asked, her voice thick as she began to cry.

‘It doesn’t, Alishka, and I despise myself for it,’ he said. ‘But what choice do I have?’

He held her as she spoke through her ragged sobs. ‘This isn’t fair…’

‘I know. And I am sorry, I am really sorry.’

For a long time, neither of them spoke, but then, she pulled away, her eyes rimmed with red.

‘Goodnight Dr. Ramsey.’

He watched her go, gritting his teeth, willing himself not to follow.

Remind we why we’re taking a break

It’s obviously insane

‘Cause we both know what we want

Then why don’t we fall in love?

‘Goodnight, Dr. Roy,’ he spoke into the silence.

Baby lets fall in love.

**********

@tenaciouslandvoidgiant @choicesaddict5 @schnitzelbutterfingers

[anotherbeingsworld]

I Will Always Remember You This Way.

Pairing: Bryce Lahela x F!MC (Casey Valentine)

Book: Open Heart

Rating/Warning:G/ ANGST. 

Word Count: 1769

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters. All rights goes to Pixelberry.

A/N: Hiii! This is a new fic of mine, and its an angst one! This is my first-ish try towards angst soo, I hope I manage to capture it! Also, I hope all of you don’t hate me whilst reading this (i am terrified of posting this🙈) , I have been wanting to write this in a while so, this is the final result!! Apologies in advance if there are grammar mistakes since English is not my first language. The song used was, (Adele’s : Make you feel my love with a one word change which is highlighted in bold) Soo, I hope all of you enjoy it! (please don’t hate me, i’m sorry. )

Tags: @soederberg ; @choicessa ; @bitchloveskcbaseball ; @princess-geek ; @storyofmychoices ; @n-whas ; @annekebbphotography ; @mrsbhandari

LINK TO MY MASTERLIST

She knows. It is too late for her, as she is watching the love of her life, or as she assumed is standing at the end of the aisle. He is wearing a black tux, with a white bow-tie. His hair was slicked back as he stands there with his groomsmen. She places a painful smile on her face as his gaze falls on her. The look in his eyes filled with surprise, with a pint of sadness along with the obvious look of regret. His gaze from her has torn away when the music starts. Casey feels the pain in her chest as the bride walks down the aisle with a million-dollar smile shown in her face. 

Sienna who is sitting beside her, takes her hand and squeezes it tightly as support. She felt herself putting a façade to make him happy, it is his day after all. The ceremony continues as the officiant announced,

‘Speak now… or forever hold your peace.’ 

Casey felt herself wanting to object, the look on his face is saying something similar. The way his eyebrows furrowed in frustration, despite the smile shows everything. But, it was silent. No one objects, not even herself. As it continues, Casey felt herself walking down memory lane as the moments with Bryce played within her consciousness. 

Both of them were walking down the rainy streets of Boston, as she stopped in her tracks in front of a store. Her eyes followed the item on the display rack. A beautiful modern wedding dress, it was a long ball gown, with thin straps that she felt drawn too. 

‘That’s beautiful Bryce!’ Casey said in awe as she examined the detail on the dress.

‘It really is, I bet you would look better in it than the dummy.’ Bryce winks at her as she felt her cheeks burn.

‘Do you think we will ever get married Bryce?’ She suddenly questioned him.

‘Hmm, do you want too?’ His head turned as they were facing one another.

‘I would love to be your wife, Mr.s Casey Lahela sounds perfect.’ Casey replied with a huge grin on her face.

‘And, I would love to be your husband as well.’ Bryce said as he gives her a kiss. 

The cheers around her bring her back to reality, as Bryce and Chloe walk hand-in-hand with another. As they walked down the aisle once more after being pronounced husband and wife, Casey claps for them as her heart breaks, as it should be her there, with him.

As they walked together, Casey’s eyes meet his in an instant. She places a smile as she follows the other guests doing the same. 

The  couple was celebrated through the night as the celebration goes on. The reception was held in a townhouse, that is believed was owned by the bride’s family. Casey felt herself needing space after what she is going through, she felt herself walking in circles in the enormous household. 

‘Damn it, I shouldn’t have come here! Your stupid Casey, he is already married and you can’t do anything about it!’ Casey found herself broke down as she stopped in an empty room. Her body immediately sinks down the carpet as she stood there. Her tears that she was holding before had fallen down, leaving nothing behind. The tears finally stop after a while, as she tried to force more to fall but failing miserably. She lets out a sigh as she takes out a handkerchief courtesy of Sienna to wipe the tears away. Her head perks up at the sound of an opening, she turns her head and saw him. He stands in front of the door with the look of regret in his eyes.

“What are you doing here Bryce?” She asked nonchalant whilst trying to hide her sadness from him.

“I…came here to check on you,” Bryce said quietly.

“Wouldn’t your wife will be looking for you..?” A harsh tone came out from her voice, as Bryce looks at her with guilt in his eyes.

The room was silenced, as Bryce goes quiet. He couldn’t answer that, Casey lets out a sigh and stood up to leave the room to join the others. In a flash, Bryce quickly pulls her into him, as they were facing one another. Their faces were close enough with one another, Casey felt herself leaning forward with him doing the same. Their lips meet for one moment as memories of him flowed through her mind making her pulled away instantly with a pained look on her face. She caressed his cheek examining his features one last time before sprinting out of the room. Her feet keep on dragging her until she bumped into a familiar group of faces. 

Sienna notices the puffy eyes and immediately pulled her into a hug, whilst Aurora rubs her back. They knew how painful this is for her, they knew how much love she has for him. 

“We can leave if you don’t feel like staying any longer,” Jackie said as she gestures to the exit whilst all the guests are getting ready for the reception. 

“No, no… I’m okay, don’t worry about me guys. Let’s go get ourselves seated.” Casey replied with a calm exterior earning questionable looks from her friends. Each of them lets out a slow shrug as they follow her to their respective seats.

As the ceremony begins, it went well as the family from both the bride and groom started to present their speeches for the happy couple. After a whole town of speeches were given, the emcee lets out a small announcement. 

“I have a request from one of our guests for the happy couple, a song to be specific. Here I call, one Miss Casey Valentine to the stage.” The emcee said as Casey stood up from the table and makes her way to the stage. 

The guests clap for her, while Bryce’s eyes went wide at the announcement. He thought about the kiss they shared in the room once more, as the music starts to play.

“I dedicate this song for both the bride and groom, may your wedding lasts for eternity with happiness and love…” Casey said before meeting his gaze, with a smile on her face as her voice starts to sing.

When the rain is blowing in your face,

And the whole world is on your case,

I could offer you a warm embrace,

To make you feel my love.

The tears started to form in her eyes, as she sang the first verse. She stopped for a moment and took a deep breath before she proceeds with the song.

When the evening shadows and the stars appear

And there is no one there to dry your tears

Oh, I hold you for a million years

To make you feel my love

The words from the song resonated on how she felt, in her mind where she would be the one to hold him in her arms, as they cried their sorrows away, doing everything she can to make him feel loved in the world. 

I know you haven't made your mind up yet

But she will never do you wrong

I've known it from the moment that we met

No doubt in my mind where you belong

Her eyes fall into the couple, as they were seated with a huge smile on their faces, the bride mostly as Bryce hide the pain through a small smile. Standing there, she knows Bryce is going to be happy… even without her and that is all she cares about.

I'd go hungry; I'd go black and blue

And I'd go crawling down the avenue

No, there's nothing that I wouldn't do

To make you feel my love

She will do anything, knowing that his happiness matters to her. The pain from letting go is visible in her eyes as her gaze lingers at him. His eyes were wet from the tears, as he subtly lowered his head. 

The storms are raging on the rolling sea

And on the highway of regret 

She emphasizes the word, ‘regret’. The feeling of sorrow in her heart takes over into her voice as the wetness on her eyes seems too real to ignore. 

The winds of change are blowing wild and free

You ain't seen nothing like me yet.

I could make you happy, make your dreams come true

There's nothing that I wouldn't do

Go to the ends of this Earth for you

To make you feel my love, oh yes

To make you feel my love.

As she finished, the room was silent as their eyes meet once more, the memory of their encounter before keeps on echoing in her head as she is brought to the real world as applause erupts. All of them are giving her a standing ovation, she lets out a small bow before heading back to her seat. Her friends were silent, they understand the message she wanted to give. 

“Cas, you sang beautifully,” Aurora said to her as she placed her hand on top of hers.

“Yeah, we are proud of you Cas,” Jackie says with an encouraging smile on her face.

“You’re gonna be okay, Cas?” Elijah asked as all eyes were on her. Casey went silent. 

Casey nods after a while, her thoughts still lingering… as it was writing a letter to him. Her final words towards him; a goodbye. 

‘I love you, will always do. I am really happy for you, even if it's breaking my heart. You deserve all the love in this world and I am glad someone is going to be there, throughout both the hard and easy times of life. I will always be here with you, every night and day. I will be just a phone call away. Bryce Lahela, thank you for all the love you give. Maybe, if our fates one day intertwined, I would wait a million years for it. You are one of the best things that ever happened to me and,  I am always going be that same girl who you found in the supply closet during our first meet. You deserve all the happiness, even though it’s not from me. Life is really insane sometimes, but one thing that is true in this life is, the love I have for you. – Love, Casey Valentine. 

Her thoughts are still playing as she  proceeds with the life in front of her. The words are still there, making itself visible. Maybe, as a reminder? A future wish or maybe, a way for one to move forward once again. 

 THE END

A/N #2 : HiI! It’s me again, I hope all of you enjoy it! I am so sorry for the angst! LIKE SUPER SORRY!! (Its painful to write it, but I somehow enjoy i welp! I still love Bryce, don’t come at me!!) But, don’t forget to like, reblog or even leave a comment! It really means a lot, and THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING. ❤ 

[drariellevalentine]

Medically Inevitable

Chapter 6- Satirical Shocks

Characters:- Arielle Valentine, Ethan Ramsey, Sienna Trinh, Elijah Greene, Jackie Varma, Landry Olsen, Aurora Emery, Rafael Aveiro, Naveen Banerji

Warnings:- None

Pairing:- Ethan Ramsey x Arielle Valentine

You wake up quite early, deciding to go for a mile of cycling to work off all that chocolate and sugar that you ate the past two weeks. After changing into a black and aqua streaked gym outfit and pulling your thick hair into a high ponytail, you head out to your balcony, headphones in hand. Playing your regular playlist, you roll out your yoga mat and start stretching. Working your way through your body from head to toe, you head out to the empty and dark kitchen. “Guess no one’s up.” You open the fridge and pour yourself a glass of vanilla almond milk. After drinking, you check your phone and pager to make sure there aren’t any emergencies and head down to your parking lot after grab your backpack, phone, water bottle, and your Apple Watch to track your stats. You get your bike from the garage and ride it down the quiet street. You decide to circle around and head to Edenbrook and get ready there, knowing you have a spare outfit in your outfit. Adrenaline spikes as you ride like the wind, the cool autumn breeze in your hair. After a good 30 minutes, you circle towards Edenbrook, deciding to get a head start on your shift.

Ethan’s PoV:-

Driving towards Edenbrook, you can’t help but think about yesterday with Arielle. The way her violet eyes lit up when she saw the drink you ordered or the way her cheeks turn pink from the cold breeze. “Stop it, Ramsey! The reason you come so early to the hospital is to make sure you have a moment of peace before the interns do something. You’re parking your car and getting out when you notice her. In a skin tight pair of leggings and a sports bra. You don’t think you’ve ever seen her without heels, she’s quite short without them. How she manages to stand in them is beyond your train of thought.

“What is she doing here so early?”, you wonder. You see her parking her bike against someone’s car and stretch. You can’t but stare at her, the morning sun hitting her luscious hair, making it shine. You snap out of it and head inside before she can see you...or anyone else for that matter.”

Arielle’s PoV:-

You enter the locker room and see Elijah. “Hey Elijah.”

“Hey Arielle.” He turns to look at you. “Woah! Where’d you do?”

“I went for a ride.” He gives you a look. “...on my bike. Give me ten, and then we’ll go check on Eliza.” You quickly take a shower and get dressed in a lightly cropped white top with a pair of pinstriped navy blue and white pants. Pulling on your white coat, you grab your things from the shower and go back to the locker room.

“Done?”

“Almost. Just hair and makeup.”, you reply.

“You know you look beautiful without it, right?”

“Nice try, Elijah. I would feel really bad for the patients who have to see my dark circles.”

“Yeah, your invisible ones.” You laugh and quickly get ready. Applying your usual amount of makeup, you brush down your hair and quick twist the sides and pin it against the back of your head to avoid hair in your face. “Done! Let’s go.” You head towards her room, going over her chart. After discussing her treatments, you exit the patient’s room with Elijah.

"Is it just me... or is the ground actually shaking?" Elijah asks confused. Hearing his question when you actually pay attention, even you can feel the floors vibrating.

"Uh, Elijah, does Boston get earthquakes?" you ask back. Looking at each other we are about to move forward when we turn back hearing commotion. A crowd of interns pass us running towards the atrium, talking amongst themselves. Seeing us at a side Landry approaches us.

"Guys, Dr. Ramsey is posting the rankings of second week!" He announces before moving that way. Seeing another group of interns coming in our direction, you take shelter in the nearest patient room, grabbing Elijah with me.

"What? Not excited to see the latest ranking?" Elijah grins at me.

"I'd rather not get Mufas'ad," you smile.

Once the coast is clear, you and Elijah get out of the room and move towards the elevator to get to the atrium, where the excited herd of interns are surrounding Dr. Ramsey, who just pinned the rankings to the board. "Can't you people exhibit a modicum bit of self-control. You work at Boston's best hospital for God's sake!" He pinches the bridge of his nose and walks away. You can't help but notice that he seems distant, it feels like he's barely acknowledging what's happening. He walks away, leaving us interns to check the rankings.

"You guys! I'm finally up to fifth!" Landry smiles proudly.

"I slipped to number...thirteen. Weak," Elijah sighs his voice low and sad.

"Ugh...seventeen. I knew this would happen," beside me Sienna slumps sadly. Poor girl, feels like she's going through a lot. I look towards her.

"Dr.Ramsey caught me crying in a supply closet yesterday. I've just had a lot of...sad cases recently," I see her eyes glistening with tears.

"Wanna talk about it?" You give her a side hug in an attempt to comfort her.

"No point wallowing. Just gotta smile my way through," she fakes a smile but you can clearly see her hesitation. After comforting Sienna for another moment you turn around to find Jackie standing silently looking at the ranking sheet . I follow her gaze to see that she's dropped to eleven.

"Eleven? Really?" She nods in disbelief.

"Number ten," Sienna smiles nudging me. You look at number ten to find your name. “From nineteenth to tenth, that's good.” Happiness washes over me. But after seeing my friends’ dropped positions, the small spark of joy vanishes. Hours after, I walk towards the staff lounge to take a break being tired for working for at least 4 hours without a break. As I near the elevator, I can hear faint sound of cries from somewhere near. On instinct I walk forward hearing the sound and it leads me to the nearest supply closet. I think for a moment whether or not to go inside. What if the person inside doesn't want me too see them like this? After giving it another thought I decide to get inside thinking what if the person wants someone to talk to. As I open the door, light rays enter the dark supply closet falling on a small figure and I run towards her as soon as I see it to be Sienna. "Hey, what's wrong?" I ask softly side-hugging her.

Leaning on my shoulder she sniffles. "I- I j-ust lo-st a pat-ien-t," somehow managing to say this she again starts sobbing.

"I'm so sorry, Si," you hug her more tightly.

"He didn't deserve it," she sniffles ,"He was just 14. He had a whole life to live."

"I understand Si," you try to comfort her, “But there's nothing you could've done." After comforting her for some more minutes and letting her know that it was not her fault, she stops crying. You have an idea.

"You've any patient to check on right now?" I ask after she's stopped sobbing and she nods in negative.

"Good. You're taking a break then. We are going to grab something to eat,"I say.

"But-" she tries to protest.

"No ifs or buts, you clearly need a break. You need to talk about this and somewhere which is not a supply closet," She hesitates at first but then agrees to it. You take her to the milkshake parlor to Bryce took you when you were down.

"You are going to love their shake!" You smile and say to Sienna whose mood is much better now. After ordering our shakes we take a sit in one of the booths near the window. We both order chocolate caramel milkshakes. "So you want to talk about it?" You ask her after taking a seat on the sofa opposite to her.

“I already did.”, she smiles sadly. “But I can’t help but feel that maybe I could have done more, something that would have saved him.”

“Si, you did all that you could. Sometimes things in life just don’t go the way they want to. What happened wasn’t your fault, you can’t blame yourself for it.” She nods sadly.

“Thank you, Arielle.” You smile.

“What else are besties for?” The waiter serves up our order. We thank him and each take a sip from our milkshakes after I take a pic and post it.

“This is so good!”, Si exclaims happily.

“I know right. Bryce took me here a few weeks ago. It became my official favourite milkshake place.”, you exclaim. We both giggle like high schoolers.

“So...did you find out anything about Patient X?”, Si asks.

“No, I haven’t. I’m still trying but I haven’t found anything.”, you reply.

“Maybe it’s just some kind of case study?”, Si speculates.

“I don’t think so...I think it’s someone near to him. I don’t know if you noticed, but he seemed distant and out of it this whole week. Especially the day after the f.M.R.I testi”- you clasp your hands to your mouth, realised what you just spilled.

She looks at me smirking, “What f.M.R.I?”

“I-he” you stutter. “Dr. Ramsey-he”, you look her smirking. “Stop smirking!”

“Then you have to tell me everything!”, she exclaims.

“There’s nothing to say!”, you counter but you’re sure your cheeks gave you away.

“Sureeeee!”, she teases me.

“Tell me everything, and I mean everything. Do you hear me?”

“Fine!” You reluctantly start telling her what happened. roll my eyes, "Stop it Si! I was just helping him to check whether or not it works."

"Remember I went after him to update him about Mrs. Turner? " I ask and she nods. "I told him about the housewarming party and asked if he'd like to come-" Sienna smirks at this but you pretend not to notice. "Obviously he denied-" And you explain her how he asked for help to test the fmri machine.

"Wait! You are telling me you were standing half naked in front of Dr.Ramsey," her smirking face turned into a surprised but then again retreated back to the former one. "I bet he couldn't tear his eyes from you!"

"Sienna, he's a grown up. He'd obviously have the minimum amount self-control to not stare at his half-naked intern," you say.

"Mhmm, if you say so..." She motions with his hand for me to continue, " What did he ask you?"

“My middle name. That was his first question. Then he asked about my favourite childhood memory.”

“Yeah? Tell me too! I want to know how it was growing up in a luxurious mansion!”, she says excitedly.

“I told you about my godfather, remember? So when I was little, I would head to his lake house every Friday to spend time baking desserts and talking about life then. I would stay there until he had to drop me off at school Monday morning.”, you smile as you recall the fond memory.

“Aww! That’s adorable! What did he ask next?”, Si excitedly asks.

“He asked me about one of the happiest days of my life. I told him about the day my niece was born. He was surprised though.”

“You have a niece?! Why didn’t you tell me?! Ooh! What’s her name? Promise you’ll bring her one day!”, Si rambles.

“Okay okay! Calm down! Yes, I have a niece. Her name is Arabelle and she’s 4 years old. I do sometimes babysit her, so...we’ll see.”, you reply.

“So...what was his reply?”, she asks.

“He didn’t say anything. And that was the last of the questions. Then, somehow, while getting off, I managed to fall down. So when he entered the room, I was sprawled on the floor.”

“That’s all?”

“I showed him a pic of my niece.”

“Ooh! Show me!” You pull up the pic and show it to her.

“Aww! She looks adorable! And you look like a princess! What did he say?” You blush.

“He said that she’s cute.”

“Finally! A compliment from Dr. Terminator!” You laugh. “Did he say anything about you looking gorgeous?!”

“Si!” She giggles and soon you join in.

“Wait! You never told me what happened after you saw Dr. Ramsey st the baseball game.”, she says.

“Not much. I helped him close a deal for Edenbrook and then we just talked, ended up telling him why I wanted to be a doctor. Then it got late, so he dropped me off.” Her grin widens. “What?”

“Nothing!..”, she says in a singsong voice. You stare at her. “Well what, Ari! He invited you to a private box suite, he gave you a ride, and he asked you to help him test a machine. So...”

“What so.... There’s absolutely nothing! Now come on, I have a few patients to check on.” You both head back to the hospital. After your regular rounds, you go to check in on one of your newest patients, Remy. When you enter his room he is strumming on a guitar, singing softly with it. He smiles as you enter the room.

"What's up doc? You ready to let me out of here?" He grins.

"Well, that depends on what your lungs would say, Remy," you smile. "Any wheezing or coughing today?" You ask after going through his chart.

"Nope. I'm feeling one hundred percent!" Putting your stethoscope on, you listen to his breathing.

"It looks like you respiratory infection have cleared up. Let me check your vitals and then we can think about discharging you." You slip a blood pressure sleeve around his arm and pump it. “All your vitals look good. You’re about to get his discharge papers signed when you notice his calf covered in reddened nodules. “What happened?”

“Don’t know doc. But it itches though.”

“Well, it might be an indication of something else, I want to do a few more tests.”, you reply.

“Well if it makes you happy! My parents have sweet insurance so test, test, test away!” You laugh as you leave the room.

After ordering the test for Remy and a few check-in’s on your patients, you head towards the cafeteria to get a light lunch. You’re standing in line, deciding what to get when you notice Aurora standing in front of you, surrounded by her usual circle of suck-ups.

“Dr. Emery, can I get you a latté?”

“Dr. Emery, I’ll pay for your lunch.” You roll your eyes.

“What you can do is take a step back so your hair doesn’t go into my food.”, Aurora snipes. You decide on a garden wrap and head towards your usual table, where you find your friends.

“How is she still number one in the rankings?”, Jackie says.

“I know right. She barely spends time with her patients, literally ten minutes!”, Landry says.

“Does she solve the case?”, you ask.

Landry reluctantly says yes. “Well then, there’s your answer.”, you reply.

“Maybe Chief Emery’s rigging the competition. Or Dr. Ramsey favours her?”, Elijah says.

“Please, he doesn’t even know our names.”, Jackie scoffs.

“He knows Arielle. She even helped him with something. I saw both of them coming out of the new equipment room a few days ago.”, Landry says.

“I was just helping him test the new f.M.R.I machine.”, you reply. Sienna gives you a look. ‘If only they knew...’ You try not to blush.

“We should try to make a better impression on Dr. Ramsey, does he have office hours?”, Elijah asks.

“I don’t know if he has the time. He’s wrapped up on some secret case right now.”, you accidentally blurt out. They give you a look. “He dropped some CT scans and when I gave them back I saw the name as ‘Patient X’.”

“Whoa! Do you think he’s working on some cutting edge treatment?”, Elijah wonders.

“Ooh! It might be the President! Do you think he’ll tell us?”, Sienna rambles.

“Guys! We’re talking about Ethan Ramsey here. You do not want to get on his bad side.”, Landry says. You and your friends speculate on Dr. Ramsey’s case as you eat. Everyone says goodbye and splits, but you notice Jackie heading off without saying anything.

You head towards the ER for the next part of your shift

“Hey Jackie! Wait up!” She reluctantly stops and whirls around.

“What do you want?”, she snaps. You’re taken aback.

“Did I do something wrong?”, you ask.

“No. I’m mad at myself. I came here to be the best and right now I’m not. I can’t let whatever emotional thing you want to do distract me.”, she says. It hits you like a slap in the face.

“So you’re saying that our friendship is a distraction?”

“Yeah.”, she heads off.

After a short shift in the ER, you’re filling out charts at the nurses’ station.

“Hey there, had a rough day?” You look to see Bryce leaning against the station.

“You don’t know the half of it. What about you?”

“See this hand? It just touched a beating human heart.”

You smirk. You’re about to reply when you see Dr. Ramsey furtively looking over his shoulder and turning a corner. “I bet he’s going to see Patient X.”, you discreetly point towards Dr. Ramsey. His brows furrow in confusion. You fill him in on what you’ve learned so far. You’re about to follow him when you notice Ines and Zaid heading your way. “Shit! They’ll definitely stop me to ask about my patients. By the time they’re done, he’ll be long gone.

“I didn’t know you were so badass Elle. Following your boss?” You ignore him.

“Can you do me a favour”, you ask.

“Let me guess. It requires me distracting two doctors by the name of Ines and Zaid.”, he replies.

You give him your signature puppy dog eyes and pout, “Please?”

“Fine. You’re lucky you’re so adorable.” Giggling, you thank him and round the corner to the hospital’s new wing when you collide straight with Dr. Ramsey.

Ethan’s PoV:-

You can see Arielle following you as you head down the hallway. You decide to stop right at the end of a corner and wait. A few seconds later, a light force collides with your chest. She squeals. You look down to see her raking her perfectly manicured fingers through her long violet hair. “Why are you following me?”

“I wanted to ask how you’re doing.” You’re surprised.

“And what made you want to ask?”, you question.

“Working as an intern at this hospital has a lot of pressure and stress. I can’t imagine what level your’s would be.” Her baby pink lips melt into a smile. “Just because you’re a world class attending doesn’t mean that you’re immune to stress or people aren’t allowed to ask you if you’re okay.”, she replies. You feel the corners of your lips tug.

“I’ll be fine once I get a coffee. The coffee machine in my office is broken and you know I don’t drink the dishwater from the cafeteria. There’s a small cafe a few blocks away that I don’t hate.”, you reply.

She smirks, “Wow! An actual compliment from Ethan Ramsey. They should have you as an endorsement.” You give her an incredulous look. “You should swing by...”

“Are you saying I can come with you?”, she asks.

“No, but I won’t mind if you decide to follow me there too, though.” What the hell are you thinking, Ramsey! Are you flirting with an intern?!

“I could use some coffee.” You both walk towards Derry Roasters.

“The breeze is beautiful this time of season.”, she says flipping out her hair and letting it flow freely in the gentle breeze. “Have you ever been apple or pear picking this time of season?”

“Once or twice, I think.”

“Really? If I was your height, I would be picking things every chance I get. It’s quite annoying having to jump every single time to pick a pear.”, she says with a ridiculous tone. You laugh, something you haven’t done for many days.

“My family has a fruit orchard. Apples and pears are best picked this time around. My brothers usually pick all the fruit while I run around with my niece. I still try to pick a few though, it does get quite annoying though. That’s why I opt for strawberries, they’re much easier to pick. You can’t help but imagine Arielle and her adorable niece running around in the fall leaves, the warm sunlight shining on her face, making her striking violet eyes a touch of pink.

“Here we are.” You lead her inside and head towards the counter. “I’ll have the Vienna, she’ll have the... Fall Frappé.” She pulls out her wallet to pay but you gently lay a hand on her wrist, “I’m the one who invited you.” Pulling out your wallet, you pay the barista and sit down at a table.

“So... do you come here often?”

“I do. Sometimes I need a moment where nobody needs anything from me. Nobody recognises me nor gives a care.”, you reply nonchalantly.

“I know what you mean.” You’re about to contradict her when you notice the genuinely sorrowful look in her eyes. You change the subject.

“A good roast and a medical journal does wonders, but I didn’t bring one so I suppose you’ll have to entertain me.” Her eyes light up. A server arrives with your coffees. Her eyes widen with joy as she sees the obscene amount of chocolate syrup and marshmallows, with a vanilla flower and roll of cinnamon. “This is sooo pretty!”, she squeals ridiculously as she takes a picture. You won’t tell her you’ve seen her countless times order something with chocolate, the vanilla and cinnamon she would like because that was the scent of her body wash. She takes a sip, sighing with pleasure, “Delicious chocolatey goodness.”

“That’s not a word.”

“I don’t care.”, she says.

Suddenly her eyes widen. “How did you know that I liked chocolate?...”, she asks surprised.

“I observe, Rookie.”

“So you study me. Am I that interesting?”, she asks, smiling.

You scoff, “I observe everyone. As should you. In fact, that’s why I enjoy coming here. The clientele are quite intriguing.”

“Nah, I like to curl up on the couch, covered in a fuzzy blanket with a good romance novel and a nice mug of hot chocolate.” You wouldn’t expect anything else.

“The art of observation is important for a diagnostian.”

“Okay then, what else do you observe?”

“You see that woman there, with the cup of gelato?” She nods. “She’s waiting for someone.”

“How do you know?”, she asks.

“Look at her. She keeps on checking her phone and is taking very minute bites of her gelato.” Just then, a young man enters and walks up to the woman, kissing them on the cheek and sitting down.

“Very well, let me try.” She looks around and spots a young woman entering the cafe, hair in a breezy mess. Arielle’s lips form into a devilish smirk.

“There! That woman just got laid.” You blink in astonishment.

“She had sex. Look at her hair.”

“I’ve seen your hair looking like that at the end of your shift.”, you counter.

She giggles. You find it ridiculously cute. “Well I certainly wouldn’t wear a dress that scandalous to work,” She points to the tight sparkly minidress peeking underneath from her trench coat.

“Okay, you win that one.”

“Now... what else have you ‘observed’ about me?” You think about what to say.

“You’ve worked very hard to get where you are now. You’re somebody who is selfless and caring and always make sure your friends are always happy. If people you love or respect say anything about you, you take it to heart. Others, you don’t give a damn. You would go to any extent to help the people you love.You have an unconfronted past, but you’re looking to change that.” Her mouth falls open into a perfect circle. “Am I right?”

“You are.”, she replies.

“Now do me.” She coughs.

“You’re someone has faced many obstacles to get to where you are in life. The people you truly respect can be counted on one hand. You don’t give a damn about what other people think or say about you, nor let it affect you. You don’t bring your walls down for anybody. Right now, you’re lost.” How did she manage to...

“Lost? Whatever could you mean by that?”, you ask.

“You’re trapped in some kind of problem, not knowing what to do or where to go.”, she says.

You fake scoff, “You’re half right. In diagnostics, that means nothing.” Your gut churns as you flat-out lie to her. Your pager beeps.

“I have to go.”

“I think I’ll stay here for a few minutes. Thank you for the coffee, Dr. Ramsey.”, she gently smiles.

“You’re most welcome, Dr. Valentine.”

Arielle’s PoV:-

You decide to post the picture of the mouthwatering coffee. Sipping the rest of your now new favourite coffee, you caption it ‘Delicious Chocolatey Goodness!”, ignoring what Dr. Ramsey said about it not being a real word.

You reply to a few of the comments and head back to the hospital when your pager beeps. Heading towards the nurses’ station, you see Danny.

“Hey Danny, are the tests I ordered for Remy back?”

“Yeah. Here you go.” He hands me the file, going through it as you head to Remy’s room, you collide headfirst with a rock hard chest. You look up to see Rafael.

“I’m so sorry, Raf.”

“It’s okay, Arielle. What you got there?”

“I saw some markers for a genetic disorder, so I ordered a test. But it looks good so fa”- The words die on your lips, your face falling downcast as you read the last page.

He notices your face. “What’s wrong?”

“The test I ordered came clear, but there are some other markers that clearly point to another disease, he won’t be able to walk by the time he’s fifty. Surfing’s his whole life.” You look to him for help.

“I can’t make the decision for you Arielle. But sometimes telling the truth does more damage. Just keep in mind that no decision is wrong or right. It’s different in everyone’s eyes. I’ll wait for you here.”, he gestures to the door.

Taking a deep breath, you enter the room to find Remy strumming on his guitar. “What up doc, am I cleared to go?” You steel yourself.

“Remy, the tests came back. I’m afraid you have genetic markers for distal muscular distrophy.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means that you won’t be able to use your hands or legs at the age of fifty. The disease is quite a late onset, it starts by atrophying the muscles of the hands and legs. It only starts at the age of around 40. I’m so sorry, Remy.”

His face morphs into fury. “I didn’t even want you to do the stupid genetic test! Is this what you wanted, to ruin my life?!” He throws the guitar at you, you dodge just in time and exit. You look back and see him sobbing on the bed. Rafael comes over and engulfs you in a bear hug.

“Hey, it’s ok.” You nod and bury yourself into his chest for a few minutes. “Hey, what if I take you out for dinner?” You look at him.

“Hey, not as a date! Think of it as a friend trying to cheer you up with the best comfort food in town.” You laugh.

“Okay. I have to change though. We’ll drive back to my apartment, where I’ll drop my car and change, and then you can attempt to cheer me up.”

You drive back with him to your empty apartment. “So... where is everyone?”

“Jackie and Landry have night shifts, and Elijah and Sienna want to keep an eye on their post-op patient overnight. So it’s just me.”

“Come on, I’ll show you around.” You give him a little tour of the place, giving him a glass of lemonade to drink.

“ I bet this is your room.” He points to the master bedroom, decorated with a trio of blush, pearl and gold hues all over the room.

“It is.”, you laugh. He looks at all the pictures on the walls.

“Anyone who’s met you can guess this is your room. It’s filled with positive and meaningful quotes all over the walls.” You giggle.

“Now get dressed quickly, I’ll wait.”, he exits the room. You close the door and decide on a pair of comfy leggings with a flowy cold shoulder baby blue top. You grab a small crossbody purse and a nice jacket. Deciding to skip makeup, you quickly twist both sides of your hair and clip it back, giving an illusion of a half up, and head out.

“See...you look pretty. Now, let’s go. I’m hungry.” You walk with Raf, him guiding you on a busy street.

“So...where are we going?”

“You’ll see.” He leads you down the street and suddenly turns your body to the right.

You see a beautiful little street lit up with lantern and fairy lights, outdoor tables set up for little shops and food carts along the way. “Wow! I wasn’t expecting a street market. It’s beautiful Raf.”

“Now, what are you craving?” You inhale the smell wafting in the air and deduce spices, particularly the ones Naveen would use when he made your favourite dinner.

“Indian.”

“Nice choice, follow me.” He leads you to a food truck and ushers you into a seat while he orders something. A few minutes later, he comes with two bowls filled with steaming jasmine rice and aromatic curry.

“You take a bowl from him and smell the delicious, mouthwatering scent. “Mm! That smells delicious.” Almost like the one Naveen makes, you think.

“Wait here.”, he goes back to the truck and gets drinks and spoons.

“Dig in!”, he says handing you the drink and spoon. You take a small bite and let the flavour dissolve on your tongue. You moan.

“It’s good, isn’t it.” You nod instead of replying, your mouth full of rice. He laughs. “Okay okay! I won’t disturb you. Eat in peace.” You both finish off your dinner in peaceful silence, taking solace of the beautiful view of the fairy lights against the night sky. Washing off your dinner with a special lemonade you say, “That was the best meal I’ve had in a long time. Thank you Raf.”

“Of course, Arielle. You’re my friend, don’t forget that.” He puts a hand around your shoulder and you head back to your apartment, talking about your favourite Indian dishes. You don’t even notice you arrive at your apartment cause you’re so tired. The only reason you were able to walk all this way was Raf helping you.

“We’re here.” You look up and blink.

“Oh, I’m so tired. Goodnight Rafael.” He gives you one last hug saying, “Goodnight, Arielle. Promise me you won’t beat yourself up about the decision you made.”

“I won’t.” You ride the elevator to the top floor and stumble into your apartment, locking the door. You fall asleep the minute you hit the bed. Waking up to the sound of loud intro music, you rub your eyes and head out to the living room. “Oh shit! I completely forgot tonight was movie night.”

“It’s okay Ari. Join us.” You see Elijah, Si, and Landry on the couch with popcorn and a few other snacks. “Where’s Jackie?” Landry points to her closed bedroom door. You knock on her door.

“Jackie? You in there?” You open the door to find medical textbooks scattered all over her bed. She looks up.

“Hey. Tonight’s movie night. Aren’t you coming?”

“No. I have to study.” You think about the various times in college you’ve put off meetings with friends to study.

“Good call.”

“I know. Close the door.” You slowly close the door, as sadness creeps up on you.

General PoV:-

Arielle slumps on the sofa between Elijah and Sienna. “So did anyone find out anything about Patient X?”, Elijah asks.

“No! I asked a bunch of residents and nurses, they thought I was joking.”, Landry says.

“I asked Danny, he didn’t know anything.”, Si says.

“So you asked Danny, huh?” Arielle gives her a knowing look as a slight blush creeps up on her face.

“They’re right. I checked all the patients’ records and there no ‘Patient X’ in the hospital.”, Elijah says.

“Okay, enough! Let’s start movie night!”, Sienna exclaims. All four of them bicker over what movie to watch and end up binge-watching Grey’s Anatomy. Arielle falls asleep again on the 3rd or 4th episode. A couple of hours later... Arielle wakes up to bright sunlight shining on her face. “Hmm....” She rolls of the sofa and onto the plush rug with a thud. After laying there for a few minutes, she gets up stretching her sore limbs and heads towards her room to get ready for the day. If only she knew nothing would have prepared her for what she was about to witness.

Arielle’s PoV:-

The first thing you do is check on Remy. You tentatively head towards to Remy’s room when he sees you and gestures for you to come in. “Hey Remy... how are you doing?”, you wince waiting for the reply.

“First of all doc, I want to apologise.” You look up in confusion.

“You’re a doctor and it isn’t your fault that this happened to me, it’s kinda your job to tell me.”

“I know Remy, but still...”

“I’m so sorry for lashing out at you, hell I acted like an ass.”

“I think I can excuse you for just this once.”, a smile blooms on your face. “But what made you change your mind?”

“If you hadn’t told me, I would have probably wasted a lot of time fooling around and doing idiotic things. Now that I know, I can make sure that I enjoy life and spend my time wisely. A lot of people don’t even know that they’re going to get sick, but I do. I should be grateful.” You smile saying, “That’s a poetic way of looking at life.”

“And... I wanted to thank you but didn’t know how. But luckily I came across something.” He pulls up his phone and shows a picture of you, a few years ago, strumming and singing with a guitar. He then pulls out his guitar and hands it to me. “Your voice is beautiful and way better then mine. This is way more useful for you.”

“Remy... I can’t possibly take this.”

“Well you have to. Think of it as a small price for the 20 years of life you gave me.” You accept the guitar and hand him his signed discharge papers. “Now go live your life.” You head towards the 4th floor for rounds, stopping at the locker room to safekeep the guitar that he gave you with a smile on his face.

Later you’re heading towards your next patient right before lunch when a gut feeling stops you in your tracks. “Wait, I followed Dr. Ramsey here yesterday... and the week before that too.” You remember what Elijah said, “They’re right. I checked all the patients’ records and there no ‘Patient X’ in the hospital.”

Following your gut, you enter the new wing under construction, stepping over the barricades. You go quite far into the corridor and peer into the halls but find nothing. You start to doubt yourself, “I might just be grasping at air here.” You decide to go a little further and notice a glow emitting from one of the newly constructed patient rooms. You peer into one the room to see someone lying in the patient’s bed, but you can’t see clearly who it is. You look beside the bed to see Dr. Ramsey, head in his hands. Taking a few steps closer, you make out the face lying in the bed. Naveen! Your heart stops. “No, no, no, no, no. There’s no way.” You try to deny it, but all of it makes sense. Why else would he quit his job. He can’t be sick, can he?”

“Before you can understand what’s going on, Naveen locks eyes with you. His eyes widen, his face morphing into utter shock. You’re frozen in place. You can see the pain in his eyes, the pain you caused. Your hearts beats way too fast. Your head is spinning. You don’t know what’s going on. It’s hard to breathe, hard to focus. So hard that you don’t even notice Dr. Ramsey looking at you. You don’t hear him shout, “Rookie!”. All you hear is the words you last said to your godfather, the ones that broke your inseparable bond and the ones that broke his heart.

Everything goes black.

[bookstantrash]

I was thinking about how every female character from SJM is well versed in arts: Feyre paints, Aelin plays the piano and Bryce dances.

I have this head canon that Nesta sings really well. I mean, she lived as a lady for most of her teenage years and was obviously raised like one (I also like to think that Elain embroideries really well). So I got this idea to write about Nesta singing, although not in the most happy moment of her life.

————————————•————————————

Nesta hated winter.

She hated how the cold wind made her wish for a cozy and warm place, only made possible by lighting a fireplace. She hated that no matter how many fur blankets she used to sleep with she still felt cold all the way to her bones, her body having no fat whatsoever to warm her.

She also hated how the lonely and empty wood cabin she was currently living reminded her of another chabby cabin, far far away from the harsh and brutal city – if that could be called a city – she now lived. She hated the memories that kept her awake till the sun was rising. She hated how she did not have the alcohol or the males anymore to make her forget. Hated how she could not even feel anything anymore.

Not pleasure. Not the feeling of blissfull that came with the alcohol. Not anger. Not sadness.

She felt nothing.

As she opened the door of said lonely cabin – kicking the bit of snow that was clued to her boots after her trip to grab yet another blanket, wishing for at least one miserable day of warmth – Nesta hated how tired of life she felt.

Everyday was more pointless and boring than the other. Not a single soul of Illyria bothered to talk to her, all of them too scared of her, too scared of she was to even try to get close.

Not that she had initially cared.

Nesta was used to solitude, prefered it that way. She didn’t have time to bother with pleasantries, to appear nice and to sugar coat her every word to make herself likeable. She thought of that as deceiving, as masking her true self. If someone didn’t like how she acted then good riddance. That only proved that they liked her facade and not her real self.

But as the months had gone by, as she grew bored of reading the same three books she had – one of the few things she could call her own, that she had bothered to bring with her to Illyria – Nesta found herself wishing for company. For someone, anyone to talk to her, to keep a conversation with her for longer than a minute. A real conversation, not the words she exchanged when she went out of her wood prision to get supplies.

Not even him talked to her.

Not since that day when she arrived at Illyria, when he showed her where she would be staying and where she could get provisions in the city. He rarely came by to see her.

But Nesta knew that he checked on her.

That he came every three or two days and stayed in a nearby tree monitoring her. Probably to see if she was still alive. Making sure to do his job as her babysitter, like his High Lady had ordered – definitely not asked, given his stone cold face while her sister had delivered the news long ago in Velaris.

After a while, the silence became unbearable. Panick had struck Nesta one day, and she had begun to fear that she was losing her voice, her ability to speak.

That day, when she woke up from a nightmare and couldn’t muster the ability to scream, she reached deep within her memories for the lyrics of a lullaby her deceased mother had sang once upon a time, when Nesta was no more than four and her mother was pregnant with Elain. And willing her voice to work, to let out the melody, she sang until she felt her eyes closing, until she felt herself drift back to sleep. Now, whenever she felt herself disappearing from this world, Nesta would sing, be it lullabies or folk songs she remembered from a time when she was a refined young lady, when she lived in a big house and had tutors and more books than she could possibly read.

She would sing until her voice was hoarse, until the lonely and cold cabin didn’t feel so empty anymore.

Until she felt she was real, not a lingering soul with nowhere to go in this world.

Closing the door and sealing the cold outside, Nesta took off her coat and her blue scarf – another one of her few possessions, given by Elain – ditching her boots.

The cabin only had two floors, with the kitchen and a living room – which consisted of a single couch and a fireplace – on the first one, and two bedrooms and a bathroom upstairs.

Too tired after the twenty minute walk knee deep in snow back to her place, Nesta fell on the couch, wrapping herself in the newly acquired fur blanket, the fireplace in front of her appearing to mock her, daring her to light it up and shoo the cold away. She felt that feeling of dispair and solitude falling upon her, heavier than it usually was. Clearing her throath, she opened her mouth and sang.

The sound of her voice filled the silent space but this time it was not enough to make that uneasy felling go away.

The music turned sad, and Nesta realized that the melody had became full of angst, of pain and solitude.

She sang and sang, with tears furiously falling, crying like a little child.

Crying because she was alone. Because she was hurting.

And no one seemed to care.

To remember that she existed.

[13-reasons-ideas]

Finding Peace In Another Part 27

An hour later, Montgomery came back. I turned my head at the sound of the door opening and felt hot tears slip down my face. His nose was bleeding but didn’t look broken, his lip was split in 3 different places, and his face was bruised. His knuckles were bleeding, though I knew it wasn’t all his blood. Those were just the injuries I could see. I jumped off the couch and ran to hug him, glad he was alright even though I was furious with him. I was gentle but still felt him flinch under the touch. He tried to hide it as he brought his arms around me and held me as I cried into his chest. He just kept mumbling apologies to me, holding me until I was done. Once I had calmed down a bit, I went to get the first aid kit and some ice for his hands. He stood in the doorway, unsure if I wanted him to come in or not. Nodding from the kitchen, I saw him walk in but not sit down. “Sit.” It was the first word I said to him in the 10 minutes he had been back in my home. He sat on a chair at the island and watched as I gathered the alcohol and went through the first aid kit. “Scott can you grab some peas from the freezer please?” Scott looked at me like I had three heads. Rolling my eyes about to explain and make a comment about it, I heard Montgomery speak.

“For my hands. More flexible than an ice pack, smaller than ice cubes. Better coverage. Plus snacks.” He said to Scott, repeating the words I had said to him so many times before. I felt the tears in my eyes well up again and angrily wiped them away. I was mad at him. He didn’t need to do that. He was getting better with his anger, yesterday discounted. What did you expect him to do when you told him? Go and have a nice little talk with Bryce over tea and cookies? Playing video games? At the batting cage? I thought to myself. Shaking my head and focusing on what I was doing, I walked over to him and got to work. I motioned towards the sink and grabbed a cloth to clean his hands before disinfecting his wounds. I tried to be gentle but may have used a little more alcohol than strictly necessary when wiping his knuckles. I felt him flinch, but he didn’t pull away. He just kept apologizing quietly to me. I wasn’t sure if it was for what he did or if he was apologizing for what happened to me, but I wasn’t about to ask. As I wrapped his hands in gauze and wiped his face with an old cloth, I felt eyes on my back. Zach and Scott were still here. Turning to face them, I noticed the looks they were giving me. Like they were wondering how many times I had done this, how I didn’t even need to speak and he just did what I wanted him to do, why I did this for him, when did it start, how had they missed it? Still not talking to Montgomery, I motioned to Scott and the freezer, “peas please.” and watched as he grabbed them from the freezer and handed them to me. They kept watching us. Trying to keep our discussion as brief as possible, I simply asked Monty “right or left?” and placed the peas on his left hand when he indicated that one felt more swollen.

While the boys sat downstairs thinking through what they had witnessed, or in Montgomery’s case, done not two hours before, I went upstairs to change. I put on a pair of leggings and, after thinking about it for a minute or five, threw one of Montgomery’s T-shirt’s and my favourite of his flannels. I wanted to be comfortable for the conversation that was about to happen. I heard footsteps coming towards my room as I changed and a knock at the door followed by a soft ‘fuck’. “Rebecca?” Monty called through my bedroom door.

Still mad at him, though that feeling was dissipating slowly, I responded with a short “hmmm?” as I moved towards the door.

“Please let me in. I’m sorry.” He begged me. Sighing I opened the door and let him in. He immediately had his arms around me and had his face in my hair. Pulling away from the hug, he went and sat on my bed. He opened his mouth and the words came spilling out.  “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t protect you. And I didn’t notice. I made you hang out with him. I made you spend time with him. I left you alone with him. It’s my job to protect you and I couldn’t do that. I’m sorry Rebecca.”

“You didn’t know.” Was all I could find the words to say.

“The point is, I should have known though Becks.”

“You couldn’t have known. And while I don’t agree with you defending him to begin with, I can see why you did it. He’s your friend. No one would want to think that about their friend or think that they would be capable of doing that.” He was quiet for a long time.

“This is a dumb question, but are you… okay?”

“I mean, yeah. I’m okay.”

“Are you still mad at me?” He asked, looking at me with sad eyes.

“Kind of, yes.” He looked down and nodded sadly. I held my hand out to him. “Why don’t we go downstairs and talk? I’m sure Zach and Scott have questions.” He nodded again and took my hand.

Together, we walked downstairs, and I sat on the couch, with one knee up to rest my chin on. The boys looked at me, but I stayed silent for a long time. How am I going to explain this? What if they think it was my fault? I can’t even call it what it was. People know now. I found the polish on my toenails very interesting. I had recently painted them a purple-y grey shade. To avoid eating, the thought occurred to me. It’s fine. I’m not really doing it intentionally. It’s just a distraction. I felt a hand being placed on my leg, startling me. I jumped before I remembered I wasn’t alone. I had gotten so in my head, that I forgot I wasn’t alone. I placed my hand on Monty’s and moved it off of me. His touch didn’t make me uncomfortable or anything, it was just an awkward place to touch me. Mhmm. You go with that. Zach broke the silence first.

“It didn’t end with Hannah, did it?” I shook my head, almost unperceptively.

“Did you honestly think it would?” I asked, not knowing if I wanted an answer.

“I don’t know. I guess I had to have hope that it would.”

“Yeah, well. Load of good that did.” He didn’t respond. Maybe I offended him.

“Are you okay?” Scott asked, sounding unsure.

“Yeah, Scotty. I’m okay.” I replied flatly. This is not how I wanted this to go. I would have been fine if no one ever found out.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Monty asked. I stopped to think. Why hadn’t I told him? How could I explain the threats and the shame and the fear? And on top of all of that, make him understand?

“I don’t know. I guess I just didn’t know how?”

“What happened?” Zach asked.

“Does it matter? You knew what he was like.” I mumbled. This is pointless.

“I know. Do you want to talk to Mr. Porter?”

“Nope.”

“Don’t you want justice?” Scott asked. Justice?

“You mean, sit in a courtroom and be judged for a situation I had no control over? Have my story picked apart? And in the end maybe have him serve three months’ probation at best, and then he can just go on with his life? No thank you. Don’t even try to say that’s not what would happen. Because that’s exactly how it works. He can kind of throw a football well sometimes, so he has a future to worry about.” The boys sat silently, stunned by my outburst. “None of you have ever had to be taught what you would go through to get ‘justice’.”

After a time, Monty put his hand back on my thigh and pulled me close to him. “I really am sorry Becca.”

“I know.” I muttered. I took a deep breath before I rested my head on his shoulder. Our friends left shortly after and Monty and I spent the rest of the night just sitting on the couch quietly.

After the hellish night explaining in basic terms, what Bryce had done to cause Montgomery beating him to a pulp, I didn’t want to deal with the implications of having kept it from him for so long just yet, I woke up in the short-tempered man’s arms. He must have carried me up to bed after I fell asleep. Rather than waking him, I decided to get up and make us some coffee as he needed the sleep. As I was pouring us both mugs, I heard him come downstairs and wrap his arms around my middle before burying his head in my neck, “morning”, he mumbled, his voice thick with sleep before taking the offered cup and taking a long sip.

“Good morning. Drink up. Scott and Zach will be here soon so we can go to school.” I responded, laughing at his groan in protest. I smirked at him over my coffee cup like I did on that first morning all those months ago. And just as he did all those months ago, Montgomery leaned down to press a tentative kiss to my lips before being interrupted by Scott knocking at my front door. I laughed at his face and shook my head as I swung my hips suggestively and opening the door for the boys. “impeccable timing as always Scotty. Come on in guys, I just have to go change and we can head out. You can keep cranky pants here company.” After I changed into some real clothes and finished my coffee, we headed out to school.

The tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife the closer we got to school. I looked over at Monty, his grip tight so on the steering wheel his knuckles were white, “Are you going to say anything to Bryce?” I asked him timidly.

“Not planning on it. Everything that needed to be said was said yesterday. If he’s smart, he will keep his distance and his mouth shut outside of games and practice.” He responded flatly before parking and exiting the Jeep, waiting for me to process his words and get out with him. He threw his arm over my shoulder protectively as Zach and Scott came over to us and we all walked towards school. I silently prayed we wouldn’t see Bryce but unfortunately, we were not that lucky. He was standing near the office and as we walked past him, we made brief eye contact before averting our eyes.  Montgomery pulled me tighter to him, effectively tucking me into his underarm and shoulder due to our height difference.

Arriving at my locker, I found Alex, Justin, Clay, and Tony waiting for me. Alex took one look at Montgomery and cocked his brow. “Really Monty? Beating us up wasn’t enough? You had to hurt some other poor soul too?” Alex asked him, disdain clear in his tone.

“Had to take care of something Alex. I’m fine though, thanks for asking.” Montgomery replied, plainly. I heard Alex scoff and decided I couldn’t deal with their stupid rivalry today.

“It was Bryce.” I interjected quietly, sipping my iced coffee-courtesy of Zach- looking up at Justin sadly.

“Why would he beat up Bryce? They’re best friends.” Clay asked, missing the unspoken answer.

“Yeah, aren’t you like… Bryce’s lap dog or someth- oh….” Alex began to ask before he caught on. “Are you okay Rebecca?”

“Um, yeah. Yeah I’m good.” I told him, though I didn’t even believe myself so I wouldn’t expect him to believe me. Tony just stood to the side quietly nodding to Montgomery.

The lightbulb must have gone off for Clay finally and his fists curled at his sides. Not again. I don’t have the energy for this today. “Seriously?” He turned to walk away, likely in search of Bryce. Thankfully, Justin stopped him.

“Dude, I think he’s had enough for a few days. Also, I’m next in line.”

“Fine. But Mom will freak if you have more bruises.”

“I won’t be the one with bruises.”

“Boys please?”

Justin rolled his eyes, but I noticed him fidgeting a little more again. Maybe he can be my distraction.

[brycelahelalover]

GOLDEN AGE

Pairing: Bryce × f!MC( Tesse Sterling )

Author's note: Sooo! Hi... My name is Chahnaz and this my first fanfic... actually it's my first post ever so i don't know how it's going to come out . So for anyone out there who will actually read this thing .. THANK YOU!! I hope you like it .

It's been 30 years. 30 years since Bryce and Tesse gave their vows to love and cherish each other for the rest of their lives .30 years since Tesse called Bryce her husband for the first time. 30 years since Bryce called Tesse his wife for the first time (and by the way he really loved it.. in fact he loved it so much that he called her only that for the first few months. It's like he forgot her name or something). 30 years in which they had two beautiful children. Alexander (Alex) and Alexis. And no they're not twins. Bryce thought that he was funny by giving the girl that name after Tesse got to name the first born and as much as she wanted to argue with him about giving the child that name for the wrong reasons, she didn't since she actually liked it and because she promised him she would let him name their second baby if they ever had one.

30 years in which they encountered both happiness and loss. Like happiness of celebrating weddings. of Danny to Sienna. Of Elijah to Phoebe. And of Jackie to Mike. Yes.. Jackie got married. Make no fault it wasn't easy for the poor lad to convince her.. in fact it took him months of proposing for her to say yes . Happiness of seeing Keiki go through college, getting her dream job and meeting the love of her life. But they also went through big losses. Like the loss of a patient or a loved one. It wasn't easy but they made it through. Together.

In these 30 years, Bryce and Tesse made it through major big stones in their careers. In fact Bryce now is the head of neurosurgery. And Tesse filled Ethan's place as the head of the diagnostics team after his retirement much to June's frustration. They were known as the power couple at the hospital. Granted, it took both of them a lot of hard work to get where they are but it was worth it.

IT WAS UNBELIEVABLE. ALL OF IT.

Tesse was sitting at the desk in the diagnostics office going through all the details that were presented to her for their lastest patient when her thoughts wondered to her spouse. She knows that she should focus. Christopher, the patient, still hasn't made it from Seattle. He was a wealthy 78 years old who seeked them as his last resort after his last 11 doctors came up empty handed for a reason to his symptoms. Yes, they started treating rich patients too since the whole ordeal 30 years ago because both rich and poor people have the right to the best treatment, adding to the fact that the hospital gains a good penny from the wealthy ones. But still as much as she tries to focus on the words in front of her, she can't. And she doesn't blame that on her aging brain, that as unfocused as it gets it's still as sharp as it was back in her twenties. But she blames it on her husband's behavior. Bryce has been acting quite weirdly as of late. She speculates that it's because of their marriage's 30th anniversary. But he has prepared surprises for her like that before but never acted like this. He spent a lot of time out which is surprising considering he never goes out without her.. or he prefers not to. Adding to the fact that he has been avoiding her and being really quit most of the time, which obviously isn't like Bryce since he's a talking machine that doesn't stop unless he's sleeping. So what could possibly caused this change in behavior. Well only one way to find out, she's going to talk to him later at home. She'll prepare a nice meal to celebrate their b-day while he's in the hospital since apparently he has a surgery that's bound to end a little bit late. And over dinner She'll attack, well not quite laterally cause she's not crazy but she will rain down on him with questions. Now that she forged a plan she feels a little less unfocused and goes back to work.

After a long day of work, Tesse is on her way out of the hospital when she decides to check out the surgery board to see exactly when Bryce's surgery end... or so she tells herself. And lo and behold, there's no surgery preformed at this hour by him. Well that ads to the list of suspicions. Why did he lie to her??. Tesse goes to check his office to see if he's still in. He's not. After that she goes to see if Danny by any chance saw him. He informs her that Bryce has left a couple of hours ago. So he's probably at home. On her way to her car, she gets her phone out to call him but he didn't answer " of course " said Tesse and not because he's used to not answering his phone in fact he's used to nag at her every time she didn't answer his calls . But because the man went to great lengths to hid whatever he's doing. Now remember how I said she wasn't going to attack him because she's not crazy... FORGOT THAT. She totally will.

After the whole drive thinking what he could possibly be doing she makes it home. And at her first step inside the door, she calls his name "BRYCE" you could totally hear the anger in her voice but she was met with silence, that is intel she hears one of the doors opening. Turning around she sees her son who was visiting after his law school finals to spend some time with his parents." Mom?" said Alex " .. you okay?" she could see the confusion writing on his face because of her near scream.

"Yeah, sweetheart. I'm fine." replied Tesse.

"Then why are screaming dad's name?"

"Well, I don't know where he is. He's not answering his phone and he lied to me about having a late surgery. And Now he's not even home. So.."

"Do you want me to try calling him?"

"Sure. Though, I doubt he's going to answer."

And sure enough, Bryce still didn't answer his phone.

"Okay... So, isn't today supposed to be your marriage anniversary?"

"Yeah" Tesse answered dejectedely. She really didn't expect to spend it this way.

"So why don't we go to a restaurant? Have a nice dinner? Just you and me? "

"I don't know..."

"Please, mom? I miss spending time with you."

Not wanting to lower her son's spirits, she agreed and went to change her clothes. She wore a beautiful little black dress that fit her form perfectly. Sure, she was sad and angry at Bryce for ditching her but she didn't have to look that way. Not when her son went out of his way to lift her spirits. She really did raise a gentleman.

By the time she was done, she found Alex waiting for her at the living room dressed in a dress shirt and pants. He took her hand than kissed her knuckles" Happy anniversary, Mom" than placed her palm at the crook of his own. And they made their way down to his car.

The direction Alex was driving in, was familiar to Tesse but not to any restaurant she knew. Only when he parked in the drive way to the huge mansion had she realized where he took her. It was her parents mansion. She haven't been in this place since her mother's funeral over 5 years ago. She has been thinking lately of renovating it but it was a project that would take a huge amount of time. Time she didn't have. But still that doesn't answer the question as to why would her son bring her here. The place is supposed to be deserted.

"Alex? Why are we here?" She asked.

But Alex didn't answer her question, instead he lead her to the front door, taking out a key when they made it there and opened the door. Where he got that key she will never know, but she didn't have time to wonder about that a lot cause as they made their way inside, the light suddenly turned on and in front of her she saw all of her friends, Alexis, her brother Connor and in the middle, sporting a huge grin in his face, stood the one and only Bryce Lahela.

" Happy anniversary, Tesse " said everyone.

Through her overwhelm and joy, she could see the place has been cleaned and tidied. It was like no time has passed. She looked into Bryce's eyes knowing that was probably all his doing. He smiled, making his way toward her. Taking her hands, he said:

" Happy anniversary, Love. I hope you're not too mad at me "

And in that moment she knew why she could never be mad at Bryce Lahela.

The end

Hi again! It's me.. And you probably knew that. Again, I want to say thank you to the people who took time out of their day to read this. I know there wasn't much to it but I didn't want to make it longer than it was. Plus, it took me more than 3 hours. So there... I hope you enjoyed it and thank you. Again.

[jamesashtonisbae]

Something’s Missing

Word Count: 1342

Pairing: Bryce x MC (Bentley Rogers), maybe a tiny bit of Ethan x MC 

Rating: Mature (ish) (not really)

Warnings: Language, allusions to sexual content

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, they belong to Pixelberry studios.  Some dialogue from Open Heart Chapter 4.

Author’s Note: Something’s been missing in these first few chapters of OPH, turns out it’s Bryce.  I switched up the Open Heart chapter where MC and Ethan went to the art gallery - instead I had her go with someone she would have chosen on her own!

Link to Masterlist

“You’re right Dr. Ramsey.  I think I will go to Evelyn’s exhibit,” Bentley said, turning away from Ethan.

“Wait, I meant I would go too,” he caught up with her and grabbed her arm, tugging her to a stop.  She yanked her arm away and glared over at him.

“That’s not necessary.  I’ll go with Bryce.  I haven’t seen him in a long time and I miss him.  He’s a doctor too, and a fresh set of eyes, no offense to Evelyn, on this case might be a good thing.”

“She’s my patient!” Ethan exclaimed.

“Then you go on your own, and I’ll go with Bryce,” Bentley looked up at her mentor, knowing he was upset with her for more than just this.  She had slept with him one time.  Normally she wouldn’t regret it, but he seemed to have caught feelings from it.  And even if she had, he left without so much as a goodbye.  And the person who had been there for her to help her get over it was Bryce.  Sometimes she didn’t know what Ethan wanted, and this was one of those times.

“Bentley,” he reached over to her and she side-stepped him.

“Dr. Ramsey, I’ve spent every free second reading journals.  I haven’t seen my friends as much, and this is a chance where I can do my job and spend time with someone I care about at the same time.  Please, let me have this.”

Dr. Ramsey moved away from her, “Okay.  Call if you find anything.”

“Thank you,” she said, walking off and looking for Bryce.  She found him leaning next to the assignment boards with a cocky grin on his face as he was talking to a couple of surgical interns.

Bentley walked up to him and leaned on the wall across from him, “Hey there Scalpel Jockey.  You free tonight?”

Bryce’s grin changed from cocky to blissful when he saw her.  He reached out and tugged her into a hug, “I am free tonight.  Anywhere you want to go?”

“One of my patients is an artist.  And I’m going to her art exhibit tonight to see if there’s anything that would indicate that her vision was changing.  She’s got sudden blindness and all the tests are coming back negative.”

“I’d love to go with you.  Pick me up at 7?”

…

Bentley had put on a cute dress and wedges and Bryce had put on his best sweater, and it felt like they were on a proper date.  He held her hand as they strolled through the art exhibit.  They looked at a few of Evelyn’s pieces and everything seemed normal.  The two of them had moved together to look at them, but then something caught Bryce’s eye and he left.

“B, come look at this one.”

She followed after him and looked at the lighthouse painting in front of them.  Something about it looked very familiar.

“We’ve seen this before haven’t we?” he asked, glancing at her with a puzzled look on his face.

“Yeah, but something is missing?” she looked at the lighthouse, then down in the corner.  It looked like a scene she’d seen before somewhere.  “Wait, shouldn’t there be pieces of an old shipwreck on the rocks over in that corner?”

“Yeah, didn’t we see it on our drive up to the country club last year?” Bryce asked, leaning in to get a closer look at the corner.

“Yes!  I remember mentioning the wreck because we thought it was weird that a lighthouse wouldn’t have helped prevent that.”

“So… is it just a style choice then?  Maybe we should check these other landscapes too.  Look up the location of this farm one.”

Bentley pulled out her phone and looked it up, “Hey Bry, shouldn’t there be a stable in this corner?  Look.”

She handed her phone over to him and he looked back and forth between the phone and painting, “It is in the same corner as the missing wreck.  I’m going to tell you some more locations to compare.”

He kept looking at landscapes, telling her the locations.  She would pull them up and they would check the corners.  They typed up notes on her phone about each place and how off the details were in that corner, then arranged them chronologically.

“B… the areas missing details have grown larger this past year,” Bryce said, pointing out the notes on how big missing details were.

“Oh my god… it’s a scotoma.  A blind spot,” she said, reaching up to cover her mouth in surprise and sadness.  It meant her blindness wasn’t sudden, it had been happening over the course of the years.  These portraits truly were the world through her eyes.  They showed her degeneration into blindness.  They were beautiful.  And they broke Bentley’s heart.

Bryce could tell, and he reached over and wrapped her up in his arms, “Let me text Ethan for you and we’ll go home.”

Bentley nodded, handing him her phone.  She was so grateful he was with her for this.  She hadn’t seen him for a long time, and he was her comfort.  With him, she was able to let her guard down.  And she had been struggling.  All she did was think about work and she never let out her emotions unless she was with Bryce.  Or… Raf.  But Raf wasn’t hers.  Bryce wasn’t either, but he didn’t belong to anyone else.

He took her hand and tugged her closer, pressing a kiss to her forehead, “Let’s go home.”

“What’s home?”

“Your home, baby girl,” he said, smiling.  “I don’t need to spend the night if you don’t want me to though.  I know we haven’t been spending as much time together lately.”

“Bryce, no.  I do want you to stay.  I have missed you.  This diagnostics position has been killing me.  I’m working all the time, and I read journal articles all the time.  It feels like that’s all I do.  And sometimes I just want to go to bed in your arms but by the time I stop reading it’s so late and we always have to be at work so early… I just can’t slow down with work and I want to.  I want to spend time with you.”

Bryce grinned, “I want to spend time with you, too.  I didn’t know all of that, B.  I wouldn’t have put pressure on you if I had known.  I am so incredibly sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry about.  I should have told you, Bry.”

They arrived at her apartment and he took her into his arms as they rode the elevator up to her floor.  He was wrapped around her tightly, and she finally felt secure.  It was like whenever he was around, a huge weight was taken off her shoulders.  They maneuvered into her apartment and room, then he helped her change into something comfortable.  He stripped down to his boxers and crawled into her bed.  She laid down on his chest and wrapped her arms around him.

“Bryce, I missed you.  I missed this.  We’re good together, don’t you think?” she looked up and made eye contact, letting her fingers trail over his smooth muscles.

He sat up a little bit, and then leaned down to press a kiss to her lips, and then replied, “I think we’re great together.  Really great together.”

She smiled and gave him a kiss back.  He tugged on her body so she was laying on top of him.  In response, she wrapped all of her limbs around his gorgeous body and pressed her mouth to his.  His lips and tongue and teeth worked on her mouth and she let him.  There was a heat growing inside her that wouldn’t go away.  It was less of a desire to have sex with him, it was more of a desire to just ‘be’ with him.  The kisses were slow and romantic, and she felt herself falling for him deeper and deeper with every kiss.

[checkurwindow]

let go

Book: Open Heart

Warnings: Mentions of injuries (cuts, bruises, etc), angst is manageable

Rating: General 

Pairing: Ethan x F!MC

Word count: 2200+ words, slightly above my average.

Author’s note: Is this self indulgent angst with little to no plot? Absolutely. And while you’re still here, take a look at my masterlist for fics with an actual plot and much more angst!

Rain had been in the forecast the entire weekend, and it didn’t look like it would be stopping anytime soon on Monday. It took a huge toll on traffic; roads were closing and bus routes were being changed or put on hold indefinitely. The streets were in no shape for anybody to be out. 

Despite knowing that, she paid no mind to it, trudging through the dark and empty streets. Instead, she kept going, she ignored the pain in her thigh and the blisters on the back of her heel made her inhale sharp breaths with every step. She ignored the piercing pain in her back when she tensed, which was quite often out in the cold, wet open. The throbbing pain at the back of her head didn’t make her waver, didn’t make her stop, not when she was soaking wet and alone at night in the middle of town, not when she had somewhere she needed to be. 

Another lie. It wasn’t a place she needed to be, but rather a place she wanted yearned to be, and maybe she wasn’t welcome. It wouldn’t be a surprise anymore, not when she disappointed everyone, and herself, but she didn’t have many options left. Maybe it wasn’t the best choice, maybe she could’ve gone somewhere else, maybe she would be better off facing the “how could you”s and “I thought you were better than this”, she should’ve gone somewhere else, anywhere else. 

She should be getting her keys out to unlock her apartment door, heading to the shower, and ignoring the worried cries from Elijah. She could even be knocking on the screen door and letting Sienna draw her a bath while they sipped on hot tea. Hell, she was even considering jumping the gate and climbing up to Bryce’s window and letting him hold her as she cried herself to sleep. 

Then what was she doing there? Why was she knocking on the hardwood door in front of her, without a clue of how the rest of the night would play out?

Seconds felt like hours before the door was opened quickly, only going as far as the small chain near the top would allow. She was met with the all familiar sight of those deep blue eyes, and in a flash, they were wide in shock. 

She couldn’t blame him, she could only imagine what she looked like. It was very obviously not an appealing sight if the numbness in her bones had any say in it, but something in her was convinced it wasn’t how she looked like that caused him to instantly freeze up. 

“I didn’t know where else to go,” her voice sounded hoarse, even to her, but she guessed it was just loud enough for him to hear seeing as just a moment later the door was shut, the sound of the chain being unlatched, before he opened the door fully. 

He looked good. Dressed in pajama pants and an old t-shirt, but still good, considering the last time she had seen him. He looked fresh out of the shower, something that she assumed to be a sign that he didn’t have anyone over.

Ethan hated leaving people waiting. A habit that they apparently did not have in common. He moved aside, and she wasted no time stepping into the warm space.

“J-just a second,” he said before running off inside, returning with a towel that he laid across the floor, “don’t want to ruin my floors.”

She snorted, he was still as stuck up as she remembered, “think you could spare me one?” she hadn’t stopped shivering, not even after feeling the warm heating from inside his house. 

“I was actually going to offer you a shower, and maybe help you patch some of those cuts up, I’m awfully good at dressing wounds,” she smiled, ‘it looks like you need it,” he gestured to her head, where a small gash across her forehead was, or at least it felt small, she couldn’t really tell. 

“That’d be nice,” she cleared her throat and removed her shoes. She stopped after stripping off her jacket, standing awkwardly and staring at him, hoping that he’d take the hint.

Instead, he scoffed and went down the hall again, “you’re acting as if I haven’t seen this before. Just leave your clothes on the towel, I’ll throw them in the dryer for you.”

She rolled her eyes, but did as he said. She quickly walked to the bathroom and stepped into the tub. It all looked the same, including the bottle of shampoo he bought her months ago, still in the same spot. It looked as if it hadn’t been touched since she was there last. 

She cleared her throat, mentally shaking herself to forget about those warm but distant thoughts. 

A few minutes after she turned on the water, she heard a knock on the door, his silhouette behind the curtain. He felt close. 

“I brought a towel. And some fresh clothes,” there was some shuffling, before he sighed loudly, “did you eat? Can I get you something?” 

“No, I’m fine. Thanks,” she cut him short, trying to ignore his caring side that he never showed the public. She wasn’t different from anyone else in the world, not anymore. That’s what she tried to tell herself.

“I know you,” he said, “which means I know you had a cup of coffee this morning and called it a day. I’m not quite sure what you got yourself into yet, but I’m positive it didn’t happen over a meal,” Ethan sounded so sure of himself, and damn him for knowing her so well. 

Her silence gave it all away, and he clicked his tongue in assurance, “I’ll make you something quickly.”

There was no resisting the water building up in her eyes. Pain expanded all across her body, she had an excuse. Plus, he wouldn’t be able to tell if she let all her emotions flow behind the curtain, there would be no tear tracks left behind on her bruised face after. 

It might seem odd to others, to those who see him as a public figure, as the heartless doctor. He carried power, and never let anyone outside those doors see his vulnerability. To them, he was a man with high standards and a precise wardrobe.

But she knew the real Ethan.

He was sensitive, caring to those closest to him, acting like he was with her just now. The doctors that gossipped about him were full of shit, they didn’t have any right to criticize him because they didn’t know the real him.

Of course, he was passionate about his job, but they didn’t know how he was in the mornings. They didn’t know what his favourite meal to have after a long, bad day was. They didn’t know what he wanted to do most after a 24 hour shift. About his constant need to have a book in his hands before he slept. Sometimes he didn’t even read, he just liked the feeling of the cover in his hands. About what he looked like, or how he smiled and laughed when he was in complete bliss, when he didn’t think about his worries, when he was really happy. 

No, they didn’t know, but she did.

She reached for the shower handle, turning the knob on the cold setting. She finished up washing her hair as quick as she could, then carefully dabbed her body with a washcloth, avoiding all the red and stinging open wounds.

Stepping out of the bathroom wrapped in a rather large t-shirt and sweatpants, she eventually found Ethan in the kitchen, hunched over files scattered across the table, his hand on his chin as he got lost in his own thoughts. 

Taking advantage of his distracted self, she took in the house. She knew she shouldn’t, she knew it would only cause her pain, more so than the raw wounds she had, it was a different kind of pain. She knew it would only hurt her, or worse, it would resurface feelings she had pushed down long ago, ones she used to treasure once upon a time.

She couldn’t help but stare at the wall beside him, where framed photos of the most important times of his life were hung up. There were a few of him as a child with his dad, a few of him and Naveen, a picture of him on his graduation day, wearing a new pristine white coat.

Her eyes trailed down below those photos to the empty space on the wall, the missing centerpiece. The frame that had once held the picture of them holding hands, smiling as widely as they could. She remembered that day, how the photographer wanted their hands close to the lens, wanting to capture the perfect photo of the piece of jewelry that looked so simple, but yet held so much promise.

The thing that was supposed to hold promise. 

Was she entitled to be sad that he had taken it down? No, she didn’t deserve to be angry or disappointed that it was no longer hanging on the wall, a constant reminder to anyone who walked by of what was no longer.

“Food should be ready soon, I just put it in the oven to warm up,” she jumped when her thoughts were interrupted. 

“Thanks,” she said as he walked closer to her, barely a foot away when he lifted his hand. She instantly flinched, swallowing hard when she realised what she had done. 

He slowly put his hand down, looking at her with wide eyes, eyes that made her feel sorry for him, “I didn't- I wasn’t going to-”

“I know,” her voice quivered, but her hard expression never faltered, her eyes focused on the floor. 

Nodding, he cleared his throat before heading to the bathroom, coming back with a tube of ointment, “we should clean your wounds, you know you’re risking infection the longer it’s uncovered.”

Maybe it was fate, or maybe it was just her luck. Whatever it may be, she would never stop thanking whoever was watching over her that she got to feel his soft touch once again.

Yes, maybe she’d like it better if it were under different circumstances, but she was appreciative of the light touch he had against her head, one hand holding it still while the other gently dabbed the cream against her cuts and bruises.

The quiet was disturbed when he winced at the scrape right above her hip. There was no hiding it; it was already layered in dried blood, purple outlining the crevice of the soon-to-be scar. He shook his head slightly, and she didn’t know if it was from shock or disappointment.

Once he cleared the wound completely, he pressed his thumb against her hip bone, rubbing her skin in soothing motions and she smiled sadly.

“Can you stop, for one goddamn second, and just talk about this?”

“I can’t, Ethan! You don’t understand why, but I just can’t-”

“Do you know why I stick around? Do you care about what I have to say? Don’t you know that I love you? I would do anything for you, why can’t you just trust me on that?”

“I do! I trust you with my life! That’s the problem!” The room grew silent, Ethan formed a sudden frown, his eyes were teary.

Her own were wet, as well. Vulnerability was not her thing, so she quickly turned around, not bearing to see his reaction.

Lost in her own self-deprecating thoughts, she felt a hand on her hip. His fingers began stroking her bone, her skin lighting a fire under every one of his touches. Somehow, the simple touch completely broke her, letting out a shaky sob. He wrapped his free arm around her chest, grounding her. She allowed her own arms to grab at his as she shook.

“We’ll get through it,” he whispered, his own voice a bit shaky, “together.”

There used to be moments where she would allow herself to completely fall into him, would just let go of all the pent up frustration and troubles she had. Because she knew he would catch her, she knew that he would let her release all of her worries for him to fix, and if not fix, just to listen. He would offer comforting phrases that would make her feel like the only woman in the world. He would physically comfort her, whether it was a bath or his touch or his body, he would take away her stress.

And no matter how many times she experienced such ache, Ethan never turned her away. Not once. Not even after all this time separated. And she knew damn well that if she did the same thing now, he would let her.

That’s what scared her.

She couldn’t do that to Ethan, not again.

“It’s okay, Rookie,” apparently, him knowing exactly what she was thinking didn’t change either. His soft voice rang loudly in her ears, traveling all throughout her body. She had to bite the inside of her lip to keep from breaking down.

“You can let go…” it sounded like a promise she so helplessly wanted to hold on to.

Maybe she could count on him to catch her again, even if it was just this one last time.

[anwenwrites]

Justice—A Landry Oneshot

A oneshot of Landry’s thoughts as he prepares to send that fateful email to Mrs. Martinez’s family.

I don’t care if she’s supposed to be my friend. She can’t get away with this. Not this time.

Earlier today, Bryce, Jackie, Sienna, Elijah, and I told Casey that Mrs. Martinez died, and she broke down crying. The others all tried to comfort her and feed her the “You gave Mrs. Martinez enough time to live her dream” crap. Yeah, right; I’m sure her family will find that super comforting. The rest of my roommates all flocked around Casey with hugs and words of comfort, but I just stood against the wall with my arms folded. Why should I bother to comfort Casey? She brought this all on herself. She killed a patient, for God’s sake!

And yet somehow even being a patient murderer didn’t stop Casey from becoming the number one intern. Such bullshit. Casey never deserved the number one ranking. That was supposed to be me. It absolutely blows my mind that this girl even made it past her first week. She was late on the very first day! But of course some lady had to collapse in the waiting room, and Casey was at the right place at the right time. And so it happened that she got to impress Dr. Ramsey by assisting him with a hemothorax patient, which by default meant that no one gave a crap that she was late. She got herself lauded as a hero with the power of her luck alone. I, on the other hand, get up at the ass crack of dawn to show up early every day—every single fucking day—and no one gives me any credit for it. 

It’s totally unfair. Casey spends all her free time parading herself around with guys, namely Bryce and Rafael. She must have thought no one noticed that she hooked up with Bryce at our housewarming party—I heard everything because I stayed up studying after all the guests left—only to flaunt Rafael right in Bryce’s face at dinner weeks later! I’d like to think that I’m not one to slut shame, but...well, you know. You’d think getting drunk at every opportunity and sleeping around like she does would cause her performance to nosedive, but somehow she’s number one. She even beat Aurora! I knew the competition would be rigged in favor of the chief’s niece. That much was to be expected. But I never in a million years would have imagined that some frivolous, drama-loving girl would snag that elusive top spot by worming her way into the great Ethan Ramsey’s approval. Is she sleeping with him? There must be some reason why he picked her to come to Miami with him. I know there was more to it than just her being number one. 

I should be number one. I never slack off. I study way harder than Casey or any of my roommates. Probably even more than any of the other interns. And I don’t let girls get in the way of my progress as a doctor. Casey offered to be my wingwoman at the bar after our first day, but I said no. Sure, I was nervous about talking to the girl at the bar, but more than anything, I knew better than to trust another intern who was probably just trying to distract me so she could make a better first impression than me. And when she offered to get Dr. Ramsey to sign my book for me? Yes, I’ve had literal dreams about working with Dr. Ramsey, but I saw that as the perfect opportunity to make Casey look stupid in the hopes that Dr. Ramsey would laugh at her. She made the better first impression, even though she was late and I was early. So I had to level the playing field a little. 

Unfortunately, he actually signed the book. I mean, it was cool, but still. My resentment for Casey started brewing deep inside me that very day. Why was it that she could get my idol to notice her, and I couldn’t? It was so embarrassing that I had to enlist her help to get him to sign my book, even if it was all part of my scheme. 

That was when my plan changed. I knew I had to get on Casey’s good side and convince her to put in a good word for me to Dr. Ramsey. But she never did. She claimed the competition would ruin all our friendships, and was even against joining it at first, yet she couldn’t even be bothered to teach Ramsey my name. Some “friend”, I say. 

  She didn’t teach Ramsey my name, so the only option I had left was to tarnish hers. It was only fair. That’s why one day, when Casey wasn’t looking, I turned off her pager. Ooh, the attendings must have been furious with her! And I’ll never forget the look on Casey’s face when she started treating a patient only to discover that her chart was missing. At first this seemed to have the desired effect. Dr. Mirani’s face went beet red with anger, and he ripped Casey a new one right in front of her patient. I faked words of encouragement to her before standing back and savoring the panic in her eyes, all the while crumpling her chart into a tight ball and hiding it in my scrubs. But that plan didn’t work either; even though some interns laughed, everyone still loved Casey. Everyone who mattered, anyway. If only Dr. Ramsey had seen Casey “lose” her chart. 

My next plan was to pull as many nurses as I could aside and tell them that Casey was trash talking them. All of them but Danny believed me, too. Even Jackie believed me when I said that Aurora must have been the one turning off Casey’s pager and hiding her chart! We joked about how pathetic Aurora was, and I smirked to myself as Jackie walked away grumbling about Princess Nepotism, without even the slightest inkling that I was the real culprit. So far, sabotaging a friend—I mean rival—who’s been getting all the recognition I deserve has worked pretty well for me. I guess sometimes life can be fair after all. You just have to make it fair. 

From the beginning, Casey clearly had an undeserved advantage. But that was forgivable, because that could be dealt with. I could make her look bad in front of the attendings and get all the nurses to hate her. What couldn’t be forgiven, however, was Mrs. Martinez’s death. She’s gone and she can never be brought back. Mrs. Martinez is dead, all because Casey stole an unapproved drug from a pharma rec—a drug with a forty percent chance of death—and administered it to Mrs. Martinez without the hospital’s knowledge or permission. When Casey first told us of her plan, I couldn’t believe my ears. I thought she was crazy. I told her resolutely that I would have no part in this. She and all my other roommates tried to make me feel bad for telling her that what she wanted to do was wrong, but I stood my ground. She still thought that it was some kind of two-sided argument, but I knew that I was doing the right thing, both legally and morally. But Casey did the wrong thing, and now the only way to even slightly remedy the situation would be to tell Mrs. Martinez’s family exactly how she died. They deserve to know the truth.

And I have the power to give that to them.

The day after I learned what Casey was planning, I paid a visit to Mrs. Martinez myself, during which I brought her some of Sienna’s homemade cookies and one of Elijah’s comic books (both happily gave me what I asked for when I told them I wanted to treat Mrs. Martinez) and asked her to tell me all about her family. Normally I would never waste my time on such unimportant details when there are symptoms to be treated and diagnoses to be made, but Mrs. Martinez’s case was totally different: in the likely event that Casey failed and Mrs. Martinez died, the only comfort Mrs. Martinez’s family could possibly have was to know how she died. And so I politely listened as Mrs. Martinez told me all about her son Luis. Where he lived, what his job was, how special he was to her. I don’t remember a word of what she said to me, but I wrote down where he worked. Then when I got home, I stayed up all night during the longest break I had all week to track Luis down. After a harrowing search, I was just about ready to give up, when I finally found a page about the Luis Martinez on his company’s website, with his contact information at the bottom. I wrote down his email address on a little pink sticky note, which I hid carefully away in a big green textbook.

Except there’s only one problem: several minutes of digging around in my desk drawers has revealed that the big green textbook is not in any of them. I must have left it outside. 

I lay an ear against my door and hear the sound of giggles on the other side. Crap. Everyone else is home now too. 

I tiptoe into the main living room to find my roommates with their noses buried in their laptops. Sienna folds chocolate chips into a bowl of cookie dough while she reads. Elijah taps out the theme song of one of his favorite shows on the table. Jackie is so deeply engrossed in her own little world of focused studying that even God himself couldn’t shake her out of it if He tried.

The only one not studying is Casey. She speaks in not-so-hushed whispers into her laptop, only stopping occasionally to let Rafael respond. Her feet are propped up on the table, dangerously close to knocking over her coffee. Next to her mug is my green textbook. Of course.

Sienna hears me and looks up. “Hey, Landry!” she says cheerfully. Elijah stops

drumming on the table long enough to wave at me. 

For the first time since I started formulating my plan, a strange emotion washes over me. Sadness, perhaps? This little scene of five happy roommates won’t last long after I contact Luis Martinez. The others may have been easy to fool, but Casey will surely figure out I was the one sabotaging her, and then she’ll get everyone to feel bad for her. This little roomie unit is about to meet an untimely, drama-filled death. And it’ll all be because of me.

I thought Casey and I were friends. I really did. Even when I got her to sign the book to make her look stupid. As long as she made me look good, she was a friend in my book. 

But she never did. And now she’s going to lose her license and drag the rest of our roommates down with her. 

But not me. 

I won’t be dragged down. 

There is absolutely zero reason why I should feel bad about sabotaging her.

“Uh, Landry?” Casey asks, confused. I realize I’m standing over her, one hand on top of the textbook. 

“You didn’t read this, did you?” I blurt before I can think. They cannot know about that little pink sticky note.

“No…” Casey says slowly. She eyes me suspiciously. “What’s going on?”

Shit. My heart begins to race and my hands get clammy as I rack my brain for an excuse. “I just...realized I misdiagnosed a patient!” I lie, grabbing the textbook and scurrying back to my room, ignoring my roommates’ perplexed whispers.

That was too close, I think to myself as I close the door behind me and clutch the textbook to my chest. I set it on my desk and flip to page 329, where the little pink sticky note is waiting for me, all but beckoning me to finally put the information it contains to good use. 

This is it. It’s time.

I snag the sticky note and flip open my fully charged laptop. I have at least ten unread emails, but they can wait. Ignoring the emails from work, I log into the fake anonymous account I’ve created just for this. Without a moment’s hesitation, I type Mr. Martinez’s address into the recipient box. Justice is about to be served.

[anotherbeingsworld]

Always and forever.

Pairing: Bryce Lahela x F!MC (Casey Valentine) 

Book: Open Heart

Word Count: 4211

Warnings: MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH, mentions of death. 

Disclaimer:All the characters belong to Pixelberry. I do not own anything, except the storyline. 

A/N: *hides myself*Hi! This is officially my second Bryce x MC fic that I manage to write! This is a different take on the story, its a storyline that I have wanted to write for a long time. It is a pretty cliche’ trope for me to write, but I am a sucker for those stuff. Its a bit angsty-ish aswell! In this universe, it was years after the incidents from the first book! And, i apologize in advance for any grammar mistakes since english is not my first language!  I want to thank @maria-soederberg for checking for errors, and for all the medical reference in this book! <3  AHH, i am freaking out inside since its my new story, i felt a bit giddy, anxious everything while typing this! So, I hope you all enjoy! Also, missing Bryce Lahela hours :’) 

Tags: @choicessa @annekebbphotography ! 

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Always and forever.

The wind was blowing on Casey’s face, as she stared at the view upon her. She had felt everything that life had thrown at her - love, friendship, happiness, and even loss. As a doctor, she faces something different every day in her life. It's either, a new decease or the death of a patient.

Some people she meets tend to leave a mark on her life. Mrs Martinez who had passed away after getting a medication injected that promised to be a cure for her Rhodes diseases, having the chance of fulfilling her dream. 

She had faced it all - pain and happiness. She didn’t know much about life before she met Bryce Lahela, a surgical resident she met on her first day of her medical residency. He had shown her what life is about – that life has more to offer than work and medicine.

His brown eyes shone every day as he walked through the halls of Edenbrook, his smile made those around feel a bit giddy. He also gave people a wink, especially female co-workers. It became his signature and a way to boost his confidence. No one would know what really goes on his mind, as long as he has this cheerful demeanour.  

Casey recalls the second day of her residency as if it wasn’t long ago. She remembers she had messed up the patients’ charts, and on top of that her boss Dr Ethan Ramsey gave her hell. He was used to her being a good doctor, knowing what to do. But on that day he was disappointed and so was she. Her confidence was shaken, she felt hot tears stung in her eyes. Casey hurried up to arrive in the empty and hollowed hallway of the hospital where nobody ever goes. It was an old wing where the surgery rooms used to be. Now that they had moved into another part of the hospital, no one ever goes through these halls. A perfect place for Casey to calm down.

Her legs gave in and she slowly slides down the wall towards the floor. She felt like she failed in her dream to become a good doctor. She worked so hard to get here and she feels like she had ruined her chance. When that realisation hits her, she feels the tears rolling down her cheeks. She buries her face into her hands and sobs quietly. Casey is so in thoughts that she doesn’t notice the presence next to her.

"Hey, rough day?" He spoke in a comforting tone.

She just nodded as she wiped away the tears that were still forming. At this point, she didn't mind the company anymore. She had become too exhausted to shoo the person next to her away.

"Me too, I became too over-confident and ended up making a mistake. Dr Tanaka already taught me about the surgery and how to proceed. But yet I still made the mistake so he threw me out of the surgery and took over.”

Casey nodded in understanding as they sat in comfortable silence with each other. The silence was therapeutic for both of them. And that moment was the beginning of something special. Something by far greater than birthdays or festive. But, it all went crashing down on the 5th of October.

Bryce Lahela had been diagnosed with lung cancer. He saw it coming because his childhood was a rebellious stage in his life. He had joined all the gangs that someone possible could join, which include illegal activities including a huge amount of cigarettes and other harmful activities that can hurt the lung.

He remembered the day of his diagnosis. How he suddenly felt nausea and difficulty in breathing. It caused him to faint in the middle of the halls of the hospital . The difficulty of breathing caused the brain to not get enough oxygen. The result was him passing out before he even hit the floor. He doesn’t remember how he got into the treatment room, but he remembers after waking up that Dr Ramsey was standing in front of him. A patient chart in his hand – his patient chart. He only explained they have to make a few test before being sure. And of course, Bryce followed through. After he was finished with all the test, he was assigned to a patient room. He heard footsteps echoing outside his patient room. And then Dr Ramsey, Dr Emery and Dr Valentine – Casey came into the room. Casey had red eyes, as if she had cried. Dr Emery and Dr Ramsey look at him as if they had lost a fight. She makes her way first to him, pulling him into a tight hug. He was surprised by the hug but welcomed it. Bryce didn't let go of her He knew something was wrong when Sienna, Elijah and Jackie enter the room as well. One time, he explained that whenever he gets a terrible diagnose, he doesn’t want to be alone when he gets the revelation.

Dr Ramsey makes his way to him with his results.

"Dr. Lahela, how are you feeling now?" He asked. Dr Emery steps forward and stands next to Ethan.

"I feel better but my head hurts a little." He replied gesturing to his head that was wrapped in a bandage.

"We have your results and, we have bad news." Dr Emery said.

Bryce raised an eyebrow and his voice was filled with uncertainty, "What does it say?"

"I'm sorry Bryce but you have been diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. We had seen several symptoms that matched. As you might have noticed we brought you into a CT to see what could have caused the symptoms. On the pictures we have seen space-consuming lesion. After a few more test we found out that this space is a malignant tumor. We also have found out that it had unfortunately spread beyond the lungs." Dr Ramsey explained to him.

He nods expectantly, accepting the diagnosis that was given to him. Casey felt her heart stop at the word 'cancer'. She didn't believe what she was hearing, she doesn't want it to be true. She shook her head in disbelief as she glanced at him.

"It can't be, please tell me it's not true." She screamed in disbelief, Bryce immediately placed his arms around her waist pulling her into him.

"It’s gonna be okay Cas." Bryce pulled a crying Casey into his arms.

"We have set up a treatment for you, we will include you for chemo and we are suggesting radiotherapy or ERBT (External beam of radiation therapy), which delivers high doses of radiation to lung cancer cells from outside the body to kill cancer cells. We need you to stay in the hospital for a few weeks to make our examinations easier. We can let you go for a few days, but we need someone to supervise you during those times. Do you have any family Dr. Lahela?" Dr. Ramsey asked him.

He shook his head, his family was never in the picture. He was cut out from his family except for her sister Keiki. They had been in contact with each other but she couldn't look after him. And he doesn’t even know if he should tell her any of this. She just found a place in college and works out a plan for her life. His illness would just get in the way, and he really doesn’t want this.

"I can." Casey said as she stood up from Bryce's hospital bed and make her way towards Dr. Ramsey.

"Rookie, are you sure?" He asked for confirmation and she immediately nods without hesitation.

Bryce was speechless. She would take him under her care, she would be his assistant.

"Cas, are you sure? I don't want to be a burden to you, and with my condition it’s gonna be a hard one." Bryce questioned her decision.

"I want to Bryce, I owe it to you.. You’ve done so much for me. Now it is time that I do something for you. And it isn’t just me, all of us, we are here for you, we are going to help you." Casey gestured towards their friends.

He smiled at her response, and nod in appreciation.

"Can I have a minute alone with Dr. Lahela? Thank you." Dr. Ramsey said as all of his friends leave the room including Dr. Emery too.

"What's the details Dr. Ramsey?"

"I don't want to break this news in front of the others but, based on your condition now. There is a 4.7 percent chance for you to live for the next five years. We don't have the exact calculations but, the tumour inside your lungs had been spread throughout your body, almost hitting some major parts of your body. Even with treatment, we cannot promise you to win the fight against the cancer. We can only help the cancer to not continue to grow. And to give you a bit more time. At the end, we calculated that you might have approximately 6 months to live. Only with the treatment, without the treatment, you might not survive this month. " Dr. Ramsey stated with a sad tone in his voice.

Six months, 183 days.

After his conversation with Ramsey, Bryce unexpectedly pulled him into a sudden hug. Ethan didn't question his intentions instead he gave into the hug. It lasted a few moments before he leaves the room, leaving Bryce with his thoughts. He knew back then, he knew the risk from his actions before but he was stubborn. He let himself get into the wrong group and ended up with a decease that can’t be cured anymore because his cancer is too far.

He glanced around the room, his days were numbered and he decided to make the most of the life he was given. He immediately dialed Keiki's number, to drop the news leaving no details behind. He decided to give her a chance to know what is going on in his life. Maybe she wants to visit him and have at least the last moments with her brother before he leaves them forever.

After the conversation ended, Casey makes her way back to the room. He smiled at her presence, and he took a deep breath.

"Casey, where are the others?" He asked looking around for their friends.

"They went to get some food for you, and I think Elijah is making a stop to the restroom." She replied as she took a seat beside his bed.

Bryce smiled at the thought, he was debating on telling her about the final detail.

He took a deep breath, and said: "6 months." He said quietly, louder than a whisper but quieter than a shout.

Casey didn't understand what he meant, until a few moments later. Her eyes went wide at his words.

"Is it what I think it is?" Her voice breaks as she said it. She is in disbelief, he knew the truth would break her but he didn't want to leave her in the dark.

"I'm still here, Cas, and I'm not going anywhere now." He said softly as he traces circles on her back. She sat on the bed, and felt her tears flowing once more. He is still here, he is going to make it. 6 months, is just a number. And just an assumption. There were many cases where people with stage four cancer lived longer than the number they were told. Maybe Bryce is one of them.

They sat in the position for a long time before she decided to go back home. As soon as she arrived at home, she curled into a ball, as she silently cried in her room. The night was hard, she barely slept. She doesn’t know how life will be like when he is gone.

The next day, she managed to make it through her shift with a smile plastered on her face. It was not easy to get through the shift. Ethan sometimes asked if she is okay, but after she said ‘yes’ all the time, he noticed that she doesn’t want to talk about it.

Back at home, she heard a knock on her door, and Sienna makes her way inside the room. She was in her pajamas, and with a couple of stuff. She brought some ice cream and a few pillows.

"Hey, let's have a sleepover together. I want to cheer you up." Sienna explaines as she sat on her bed. Casey sat on her bed and smiled weakly at her.

"Thank you, Sienna, I just thought that I could be strong. I want to be strong for him, but I can't." She explained which ended up with her crying again. Sienna placed the pillows and ice cream down before she started holding a crying Casey in her arms.

As the next day arrived the truth hit her harder than before. She packed herself an overnight bag to bring to the hospital with her. She decided to look after Bryce after she finishes her shift. After she was done working her shift, she finally was able to go to Bryce’s room. She finds him eating his dinner alone but judging by his face, he doesn’t like the hospital food much.

"I wished I had some ice cream now, Cas. This hospital food is killing me." Bryce says as she laughs at his antics.

"Well, I could bring you a scoop if you promise to finish up your food." She offers which made his eyes light up in joy.

"Thank you, you're a lifesaver." He expresses his gratitude and continues finishing his food.

She smiles at him, and continues to accompany him for the night. She ended up falling asleep as well. The days keep being like that for them, she would be there for him every night until the day arrived where he was released from the hospital. He was released from the hospital by one condition. He had to be monitored at home. Casey has to make sure that his heartrate continues and that his oxygen saturation is constantly above 85%.

The day he was released, Keiki made her presence at his apartment. Casey was introduced to Bryce's little sister, who is not that little anymore. In the mornings, Keiki would be his assistance while Casey was at work. All of the hospital staff had taken the opportunity to help him any way they can including Dr. Ramsey himself.

One day, Keiki and Casey were having lunch together.

"Thank you for looking after Bryce, Casey." Keiki suddenly says.

"It is nothing, I knew he would do this to me as well." She says as she glances at his room.

"He told me the other day, he was grateful for you. Everything you've done for him. I know I didn't have a chance to get to know him properly because of mom and dad but, I get to know him now before it’s too late and it’s everything." Keiki explains, her voice soft.

"I am grateful for him, and I feel like when it comes to him. It is one of my weaknesses. I  care about him a lot, and hearing the news makes me feel sad. I am not ready to lose him yet, he …" She stops, realizing she's been crying.

Keiki rubbed her back and gestures to his room.

"I believe that you should tell him how you feel, life isn't stopping for anybody. Six months for him is all that he got." She suggests before making her way to the living room, leaving Casey alone in the kitchen.

Casey takes a deep breath, and makes her way to his room. She sees him on the bed, he is resting after a long day of treatment. She takes a seat beside his bed, and his head shots up at her presence.

"Hey Lahela, how are you doing?" Casey asks while checking his vitals. So far heart rate looks good, no extra syncopes on the ECG, and his saturation is constantly between 89% and 95%.

"I'm doing good, although I feel like my energy is drained out of me, every day."

"Hey, you're still here. It's all that matters." Casey says to him and he smiles weakly at her.

"So, what's the purpose of your visit to Casa de Lahela." He gestures at his room.

"I wanted to check on you and, I have something to get out of my chest." Casey smiles at him, as she squeezes his hand.

"Consider me checked, did I ever tell you how lucky I am to have you here." He admits quietly as his eyes gaze into hers.

She feels her cheeks burn from the sensation, she decides to lie down beside him. She squeezes herself into the space left on the bed.

"I don't want to lose you." She admits quietly as she lies her head on his chest.

"You will never lose me, Cas, I am always here with you. You can’t get rid of me easily." Bryce explains to her with the same amount of confidence that he always has.

"I know, I just can't bear the thought of knowing that you are sick. I-I love you Bryce. These few months had made me realize  that I am in love with you, and I am not ready to lose you yet." She confesses  while looking him straight into his eyes.

He placed a kiss on her forehead, "I love you too, Cas, being a sick dude made me realize it. You are the one person who wanted to accompany me after a long day of work, the way you bring me ice cream every once in a while make me fell for you, Casey Valentine. I-" He stops suddenly, gasping for air. Casey’s head shots up to the monitor. His heart rate shows ventricular fibrillation and his saturation went down to 65%. Casey stood up and called the hospital to send an ambulance immediately. After that she starts with chest compression, as long as the doctor needs so they can use the defibrillator.

Clueless, Keiki stepped into the room and stop in her tracks. She saw her brother lying on the bed, unconscious, Casey on top of him trying to reanimate him. Keiki doesn’t know what to do, she has never helped before.

“Let the paramedics in!” Casey orders.

After a few moments, the paramedics arrive and instantly build up the defibrillator. After they shocked him two times, Casey decides to intubate him so that he is not having any lack of oxygen. After a successful attempt, they load him into the ambulance and rush him into the ambulance and into some tests to see how much worse his conditions are.

In the hospital they rush him onto the ICU where gets put onto life support. Dr Ethan Ramsey looks over his vitals and looks at Keiki and Casey who stood there shocked.

“Keiki, you’re his sister. I have to give you the decision. Your brother only lives right now, because he is on life support. He will not wake up again, his cancer is too far for him to survive. The cancer made his lungs collapse which means that he will never breathe on his own. So, I ask you, Keiki. Shall I turn of the machines and help him die peacefully.”

Keiki sobs and Casey puts a comforting arm around her. She closes her eyes, not wanting to witness the situation in front of her. 

“I love my brother, but I know he would want to leave the world as soon as he has no chance to live without support.” Keiki starts. “Turn it off, Dr Ramsey.”

Ethan nods and turns off the machines, he injects Bryce an amount of morphia to save him from pain or any other obstacles.

After a while fighting, Bryce finally let himself go. The monitor showing flat lines, no breathing rate, no heart rate and no saturation left. Bryce Lahela has left the world.

Time of death, 8 p.m.

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The whole Edenbrook community was shocked at the news of his sudden death. Casey felt her heart break into bits and pieces. She thought about their conversation before and let herself cry a bit longer.

A few weeks later, Bryce's funeral was happening. The rain is pouring as the day went on, she never imagined that this would occur to her. Losing the one you love is the greatest pain that one could ever go through.

Many of his co-workers had come to say their farewell and even his family made an appearance. Casey stood there with her friends close by, she dreaded this day. The sadness, the emptiness she felt at that moment. It was unbearable. There was this emptiness that Bryce had left behind. This funeral made the loss of someone she loved dearly more realistic. At first, she was able to pretend that this was just a nightmare of hers, but seeing he was buried in front of her, she has to accept the fact that he will never come back.

After it ends, Casey lingers at the cemetery for a while along with Keiki by her side.

"He left you this, I found it when we were cleaning up his place before. I think he wants you to have it," Keiki says as she hands her a letter that is sealed.

"Thank you, Keiki."

"No, thank you, Casey for all you've done for him." Keiki pulls her into a hug, and make her way back to the car.

Casey starts to head back leaving the cemetery behind. She decided to live not only for her but also for Bryce. During that time she wasn’t able to read the letter yet. It was too heart-breaking.

It’s been a year since the event that no one ever expected. She makes her way up to a hill. Rocket Hill was one of Bryce's favourite spots to hang, and hike during his days. She holds a polaroid of him standing on top of the exact hill proudly making his mark for the world. 

The wind was blowing on Casey’s face, as she looks at the view in front of her. The view from the hill was spectacular. The city of Boston could be seen from a distance. After a few moments, she takes a seat on a bench facing the city. The letter from Bryce was in her hand. She knew she needed a perfect time, and now that time has come. She took a deep breath and slowly opens the letter

Hey Casey,

It's me or Jackie would call ‘the scalpel jockey’ here, I feel like I'm healing every day but I know that's not the truth. We all gotta end somewhere, and I can feel my end is coming closer. I don't want to make you worry but well, I did make you worry, right? Love, I have no idea what to write or say now but Keiki forced me to write and well, we gotta start somewhere right? So, If I'm writing this... It means my time is uo. I just want to speak some truth here. I was cut off from my family when I finished high school. I have been living on my own for a long time. Keiki was the only family I knew, and med school was hard because they knew to whom the name Lahela belongs. But, being here at Edenbrook made me realize I have a family after all. My family are my friends. We may not be related by blood but we're gonna stick together till the end. My time here also led me to you; Casey Valentine, the future of Edenbrook. You stood by me from the beginning until this very moment and I want to say thank you. Life with this decease had made me realize that time is precious, and it should be spent with those we love and cherish.  Every day was a special one because you were in it and I wouldn't have it any other way. Well, that's enough of cheesy Bryce for one day. If you ever doubt yourself in anything, remember that you are enough as a human, a doctor, and a friend. Okay?

Love,

Bryce 'Scalpel Jockey' Lahela.

PS: Don’t be afraid to fall in love again, Casey. I want someone to make you as happy as I made you. I want you to have a family of your own, and please take care of Keiki. <3

Despite the sadness from the letter, she feels herself smile at the letter, holding it tight not wanting it to get away. She looks up at the sky, seeing the sky had changed its colours. She smiles at the scenery upon her and starts to enjoy it. She knows Bryce would have wanted it. And even though she has lost the one person she has loved so much, she will continue to live her life for them. But Bryce Lahela, will always be her first love, and she will never love anyone the same as she loved him. Bryce is her forever, and he will always be.

THE END

A/N #2: Hey! I hope you guys enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy writing it, I never had any particular experience from what I wrote but, I have been wanting to write this for a long time! I really hope I get to deliver it, it was hard to share this to you guys, but I wanted too! Don’t forget to like, reblog and even comment anything! It would really mean a lot! Once again, thank you for reading it! <3