#i regret going on this trip Tumblr posts
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ensemble stars characters as things i experienced on a cruise to mexico
i'm waiting for a flight that i'm ten hours early for so here's some rare 鬼畜 text content . incorrect quotes and imagined scenarios, long post under the cut
starting off with some incorrect quotes
rei: can you walk?
eichi: i think so, i'm much more energetic nowadays-
rei: no you're not. shiratori-kun, get him a wheelchair, we're skipping all the lines at the airport
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eichi, getting physically patted down by tsa in a small dark room because his wheelchair couldn't go through the full-body scanner and it was too much physical effort to stand up: this is all sakuma-kun's fault
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aira: tenshouin-senpai! you almost left your louis vuitton designer scarf at the security checkpoint! what if someone had stolen it?!
eichi: thank you, shiratori-kun! but it's fake
-
akatsuki in the elevator with a group of strangers
stranger, in a thick southern accent: so what're y'all up to t'night?
silence
souma stares straight ahead. he thinks the stranger isn't talking to them.
stranger, feeling slightly awkward: so, y'all stayin' in your room?
kuro: um... yeah
-
afterwards
keito: how did he know that our room doesn't have a window
kuro: ???
keito: ??? he said something about our stateroom not having a window like his
kuro: you mean when he asked if we were staying in our room?
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hokuto: how much money have you spent at the arcade
makoto: uhhhh... i don't know, i'm not good at math
mao: how much did each of the figurine blind bags cost you
makoto: four plays is $4.50 and i get an average of 87 tickets at the piano game. the gachapon is 750 tickets each, and 750 / 87 = around 8.62 plays, and 8.62 x 4.50 / 4 = $9.6975
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wataru: iiiiiit's..... showtiiiiiime....
yuta: can we leave
hinata: the waiters are dancing now, we can't just leave
one minute later
yuta: can we leave
hinata: i'd love to see you try to leave in this situation
three minutes later
yuta: can we leave
hinata: QUICK THEY STOPPED MAKE A RUN FOR IT
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jun: i don't like my new haircut
jin, shaking his head knowingly: yeah you shouldn't have cut it on a cruise
jun: i lied. i love my new haircut it means the world to me
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jun, still struggling to come to terms with his new haircut: now i kind of look like the scaramouche guy from genshin
hiyori: i was thinking more like edna from the incredibles
some people that i encountered!
kaoru as the guy that (successfully) invited one of the waitresses to dance
yuzuru as the sweet lady who asked me how to swipe her room card for the arcade because her son (tori) wanted to play a game
ritsu as my mom who spent most of the time sleeping
rinne as the tour guide that would add "rawr" to the end of his jokes
tsumugi as the poor woman who got stuck in a hammock and had to ask me for help
yuta as my brother who i forced to go on a rusty cable sliding thing you could only hold on to by hand, only for it to get stuck before it reached the middle
hinata as me who dragged the rope attached to the handle and tried to run (on sand) to pull yuta/my brother on the cable slide, only for him to fall (on sand)
rei as the people who watched and laughed
yuzuru as me playing the discord golf game with my friends on vc, only to get screwed over by the lag from cruise wifi
anzu as my friends who were still at home and took this chance to win by miles
makoto as my brother and i when we made one of the arcade machines run out of tickets to dispense three times
makoto as my brother who dominated the entire leaderboard of a piano game with his high scores
tomoya as my mom who was upset that she didn't get to see any flamingos up close
mao as the guest services guy who kept getting interrupted by phone calls that lasted less than 50 seconds
tsumugi as the worker who asked me "do you speak mandarin or chinese?"
adonis as my dad who would only eat meat because "it's more worth it that way"
hiyori as the hair stylist that gave me the scaramouche/edna haircut and kept calling me "madame" and insisted that i trust his vision (he was a lovely guy, i just wanted it more short :()
anzu as my aunts that were constantly trying to video call my mom on wechat, only for the call to disconnect because cruise wifi sucks
mayoi as the dinner waiter that jumpscared my mom on the lunch buffet line
midori as the buffet worker who kept sorting the lettuce leaves by size and color
rinne as the guy at the casino who told a worker he wanted to "have a gambling addiction responsibly"
tori and tsukasa as the little girls who tried to convince their mom to let them eat only cake for lunch
kaoru as the white guy who tried to engage in a conversation with me in the elevator but only made the situation more awkward
souma as the guy who got into an argument with someone (kaoru) over whether the fish he ate was bass or salmon (it was salmon with some bass)
shinobu as the boy who ran up and down the stairs yelling that he was looking for ducks (?)
wataru as the russian lady in charge of the dining room who would loudly whisper "iiiiiit's...... showtiiiiiiime" into a microphone every evening
tomoya as the waiter with a tired, dead inside expression who still had to dance for the russian lady's "showtime"
adonis as the guy that woke up at six in the morning to run laps around the deck for some unknown reason
wataru as the guy who posed for a picture like he was pinching the setting sun
hokuto as the guy taking the picture, but from an angle that made wataru look like he was pinching nothing and standing there stupidly
promo time ~ preorders for the niki's cookbook fanzine are open until march 12! i made some recipes for it, go check it out :)
#i saw someone with a “cyberwar veteran” tag and a “taylor swift 2024” election shirt at the airport#i cannot be certain of their pronouns but i can raise my eyebrow and go “oh they're one of those” /neutral#i regret going on this trip#ensemble stars#i get home at one in the morning sob#enstars#enstars textpost#we were like the only asian people on the cruise and wow were we stared at a lot#enstars incorrect quotes#not proofread i've been awake for too long#midori takamine#shinobu sengoku#rei sakuma#eichi tenshouin#aira shiratori#hell dorm#i love them#couldn't even read lofter or ao3 on the cruise#didn't even get another eisekai chapter written#and i brought my tablet only for it to stay in my bag unused :(#my hair stylist was apparently a hairdresser for famous bollywood actors but my mom doesn't believe him#i look like a flat mushroom head now#souma kanzaki#kuro kiryu#keito hasumi#i watched joy ride on the plane#it was pretty good#hokuto hidaka#makoto yuki#mao isara
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[ cw: risk taking behavior / circumstantial self harm kinda / ignoring of injuries / self-depreciation / slight ooc-ness but for a reason! / ]
Post invasion, Leo is fine.
More than fine! He’s better than before, even. That is, if you don’t count the slightly cracked shell and still healing bones, but those are only a problem when the weather wants them to be!
Leo really is better in the ways that matter.
He’s not as cocky, not as self-centered, and overall just more heroic in general if he does say so himself.
Raph even said he was proud of Leo!
So obviously things are going well.
But.
It’s not enough.
Leo’s better, sure, but he’s still got work to do.
So - and here’s something that will probably make his brothers faint on the spot - he needs to train.
_____
His brothers do not faint, but it’s a near thing for Raph. Mikey has to fan the snapper’s face and Donnie almost brings out the smelling salts before Raph shoots back to his feet with an excited grin.
Leo’s big brother gets teary eyed soon after and envelops him in a bear hug, saying once again how proud he is that Leo is growing up.
Leo lets himself be hugged, even hugs back as fiercely as he can, because unbeknownst to Raph, this marks the end of Leo’s childhood.
He lets himself be hugged like a kid one last time, looking through the hole in Raph’s shell all the while.
_____
Leo only trains the regular way with his brothers and occasionally April and the Caseys, but most especially Raph.
But of course that’s not enough, it was never going to be.
So he goes through the motions of the stretches, the spars, the meditation, and then he leaves.
He makes sure to have his excuses ready, usually defaulting to Hueso as his go to since his brothers are easily bought off with the promise of pizza. Leo hasn’t yet found the tracker Donnie installed in him, but when he does that’ll be dealt with too! But for now, this should be good.
See, the invasion made him realize something.
It’s not about him, but it was his shortcomings that led to everything going to hell.
So he just…needs to get rid of those shortcomings.
He’s working on it, gaining fighting skill in training, but there’s more he needs to do, more skills he needs to train.
Leo watches intently as Repo Mantis swindles someone, he memorizes the sleight of hand that Hypno performs, he sneaks back into the Mystic Library and is so quiet the hush bats forget he’s there, he talks Big Mama into honing his manipulation, and he even sneaks into human hospitals and reptile veterinary clinics to get a clue on more serious injuries.
And after any of these, he heads to Run of the Mill to compete in the Maze of Death.
_____
This is his twelfth time going through the (newly remodeled and even more deadly) Maze of Death, and would be his fifth time winning. The first three times had him waking up in Hueso’s office, and each time he wakes his old persona shines through.
He always waves off Hueso’s annoyance and questions and insists on trying again next time before he steals some pizza and bails.
The skeleton actively tries to stop him from entering the Maze after the first time, but hey- mystics are allowed before you enter.
It’s easy enough to teleport on by.
Harder to meet Hueso’s - and later his brothers’ - eyes when he fails again.
When he first actually won, Hueso congratulates him in that typical deadpan tone of his.
“Ah, felicidades, Pepino. Now you can move on, sí?”
“Hm? Nah, boneman! That run was sloppy!”
And then Leo runs off before Hueso can stop him.
He doesn’t even look at his picture on the champion wall when he next comes around. It’s not much to look at anyway.
_____
His second win is much like the first, and only his third win is actually acceptable.
But he knows the field too much now. He needs a challenge.
When he attempts to go through it blindfolded, he’s quickly shown how much he doesn’t know the Maze. So, obviously, he loses again.
He got a bit more banged up that time around.
“Pepino, basta ya, you’ve already won. Where are your brothers?”
“I can’t stop yet, señor! This is for my brothers - no les digas, please.”
Even if Hueso wanted to tell Leo’s brothers, they haven’t been in enough for him to get to, and it’s not like Hueso has their number since Leo’s the one Hueso usually contacts. For now, Leo’s safe to continue as is.
Though his injuries are getting harder to hide, and there’s only so much his shell in particular can take.
So to speed things up, he incorporates the blindfold into his regular training.
His brothers question it, of course, but hey, he initially got the idea from seeing Lou Jitsu do it in the third best Lou Jitsu movie, so it comes as a great excuse now.
He’s only a little put off by how fast Mikey adapts to it when the others try.
“I dunno-“ Mikey shrugs when asked, “You guys shine so brightly anyway, a mask doesn’t do much.”
Seeing their mystic energies is pretty cool, Leo can admit.
He just wishes he could grasp that himself - and that it was useful for a death maze.
_____
Leo’s training pulls off eventually, and soon, after a few more losses, he wins a forth time. But it’s a near loss, and a near loss is the difference between someone living and dying.
He’s gotta go again.
Hueso’s more insistent than ever, though.
“You must stop, Pepino.”
“But I can do better-“
“You don’t have to! Your shell is bleeding - ¡por tu propio bien, poner fin a esto!”
“I told you, this is for their own good! For everyone’s own good!”
He forgets the pizzas when he leaves. He claims sickness when he hides under his covers.
He ignores how childish the act makes him feel.
_____
Leo’s getting better, and his reflexes and tact in training shows this. His other training of his subterfuge and medical skills also prove to be useful.
He’s pretty good at hiding injuries, now! Though not so good at hiding a pained shell. Even Donnie looks at him with blatant concern (and understanding) when Leo can’t help but take a sharp breath whenever he lands on his back.
It’s hard not to go right back into waving everything off with jokes like he used to. Deflections are easier when they’re annoying!
But- this is just another reason that he needs to get better, right? So his brothers won’t worry. He doesn’t need the spotlight anymore - he’s over that, thanks.
He squashes down the part of him that perks up when Splinter says he’s growing up. He actively kills the part of himself that cries at the same phrase.
_____
So. Yeah. This’ll be his twelfth time running the Maze. And, hopefully, his fifth win. Maybe he really will move on after this.
The Hidden City is pretty big! There’s probably a bigger challenge somewhere.
Maybe Big Mama has a more secret Nexus hidden away, out of the public eye.
Well, whatever. That’s a future problem for him to figure out, yeah? For now, he carries on like usual, teleporting to the entrance of the Maze and diving right in.
Even blindfolded, he works his way through, dodging and weaving and feeling as he goes. He even tries to evoke his inner Mikey and calls on his mystic energy. Not enough to cheat, but enough to feel.
Usually, when Leo teleports, he swears he feels every part of himself disperse into particles. Now, with energy thrumming under his scales, he can feel particles everywhere.
It’s not refined enough to tell him everything, and he gets a fun new burn and a nice whack to the back by getting distracted. Still, it gives him more than he had before. It makes him more aware of everything, like he licked a finger and held it in the air to feel the direction of wind, but every direction blew wind, all in different ways.
He makes it to the end with minimal injuries after that, and sure, his shell is screaming at him now, but he thinks he did a shell of a good job.
…Ah, he needs to cut that out, huh? Man. Maybe Donnie’s collar idea was a good call after all.
Leo needs to be a hero. Not a face man. Not a failure.
Not a kid.
_____
Leo doesn’t smile when the Minotaur takes his picture again for the champion wall, and he doesn’t listen when she tells him to “go home and never come back.”
He doesn’t plan to, anyway, yeesh.
He’s tired as he trudges out of the exit, and Hueso catches him when he stumbles.
Hueso doesn’t say anything. Leo doesn’t either.
Or, he doesn’t, until he feels a familiar large hand helping him up as well.
Leo’s face whips up as he flinches back, eyes wide as they meet with a worried (so, so worried) Raph’s.
“You told them?” Leo asks Hueso in betrayal, heart thudding wildly in his chest.
“Pepino…”
“Told us what?” Mikey pipes up from behind Raph, coming closer to get a better look at Leo, “Leo, what’s going on?”
“Your shell has been having pretty big setbacks on its healing, is this why?” Donnie demands, glaring fiercely as he motions toward the Maze.
Leo feels unmoored. “I-“
“Leo.” Raph interrupts, and no Leo doesn’t want to hear it- “Are you okay?”
And Leo wants to say “it’s not about me”. He wants to say anything that proved he learned his lesson, that he’s not a liability or worse, an active danger to his own family.
He wants Raph to continue being proud of him. He wants his brothers to trust him.
Instead, he passes out.
_____
The next time his eyes open, Leo’s on his side, staring at his blue lava lamp.
He knows without looking that his shell is re-bandaged. He knows his other injuries have been dealt with too.
And unless Leo learned how to do some pretty impressive medical sleepwalking, he knows he’s not getting away this time.
All three of his brothers being in his room prove that.
“What’s been going on, Leo?” Mikey asks, and his voice cracks partway through.
He’s looking at Leo like he’s searching for something, but Leo doesn’t have anything to show. Nothing’s hidden, he just did some light spring cleaning is all, throwing out all the parts he didn’t need.
All the parts they didn’t need.
And yet despite everything, he can feel himself falling back into old ways, a grin tugging at his beak and lackadaisical deflection on the tip of his tongue.
Maybe he should let that part of him show, just for once. It wouldn’t seem like too much of a setback would it? And he could really use a fun pun right about now-
No.
No it’s not about him. He needs to remember why he did all this in the first place.
“Okay- sorry, guys.” He smiles, softly, quietly, “I guess I got too caught up in training. I’ll work at it some more, don’t worry.”
“Oh, I see. Training. That’s all it was, huh? Training.” Donnie hisses more than says, nearly vibrating in anger.
“…yeah?” Leo nods slowly, because, uh, that’s literally the most honest thing he said. It was training.
“If it’s just “training” then why the secrecy, hm? Why in Curie’s good name did you prefer to sneak around rather than, oh, I don’t know, tell your family?”
Leo feels his shoulders rise at Donnie’s aggression, defensiveness welling up in him, “It was my training! Nothing went wrong, I’m getting better!”
“Better?” Raph asks incredulously, “Leo, you’re wasting away. A tap to the shell stuns you for minutes, you lost weight, and your dark circles are worse than Raph’s ever seen them! You aren’t getting better-!”
“YES I AM!”
The words rip out of Leo before he can stop them.
The room is silent as his brother look at him, all wearing expressions of hurt that Leo put there again.
“Yes I am.” Leo reiterates, shaking, “Because- if I’m not-“ He squeezes his eyes shut. “If I’m not-“
Then what was all this for?
Arms slowly wrap around him, and he knows now from the feel of the mystic that it’s Mikey.
“You’ve gotten faster, and sneakier.” Mikey says quietly. “When I accidentally cut my hand, you knew exactly how to take care of it.” His voice grows firm, and he backs out of the hug, “But those are your skills. You, though, you’ve been…you’ve been…”
“You’ve been dilapidating before our very eyes, and trying to hide it.” Donnie finishes, jaw tight. “You think we wouldn’t notice? After everything?” To Leo’s horror, Donnie’s voice is hoarse with tears, “You absolute dumb dumb.”
“I- but I need to train. The Maze is-“
“Leo, we don’t care that you ran through the Maze. We care you did it alone.” Raph says quietly. “We could have joined you, any time.”
“But- but I’m doing this for you-“
“Listen to your brothers, Blue.” They jump as a new voice joins the fray, heads turning to see Splinter make his way into the - frankly crowded - room.
“Dad, I-“ Leo begins, but trails off, suddenly more unsure than ever in the face of his father.
“It’s good you’re finally picking up training! Especially for your brothers’ sakes! But there’s such a thing as going overboard, you know.” Splinter pokes a sharp claw into Leo’s plastron, “Just because you’re dragging it out this time, doesn’t make this any less of a sacrifice. My son, you’ve taken after Karai an awful lot, haven’t you?”
Leo just looks at his father. At his brothers. Then, he looks down at his calloused hands, bandaged and scarred from overuse.
He swallows dryly. “Is that a bad thing?”
He feels his family crowd in around him, feels his father’s hand on his shoulder.
“It’s not wrong to want to be better, Leonardo.” Splinter says, softly and with so much grief and guilt that Leo can never begin to understand, “But you were never bad to begin with.”
Leo’s breath hitches.
“And-” Splinter’s hands rise up to frame Leo’s face. “You are much too young to ever consider sacrifice the best answer.”
“You got me to relax, Leo. So I’ll do the same for you.” Raph grins, eyes wet, “We’re still kids, right?”
And-
Leo smiles, watery but genuine. “Yeah, Raph. We are.”
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rottmnt headcanons#rise leo#rise fanfic#WHOOPS#did not mean to write all this#my only regret is not including April#anyway I was like wow Leo sure is acting different at the end of the movie huh#then I thought hey he’s actually acting a lot like previous iterations of Leo rn#then I ran with it and tripped down the stairs in the process#thus this was born!#I am tired so more tags later#but dang oops a bit too angsty gotta do smth lighthearted soon huh#also yes he DOES go back and apologize for putting Hueso through so much#he gets a smack on the head and a head pat immediately after#‘don’t do it again Pepino - not until I finally get the Maze shut down’ ‘okay wait what-‘
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Danse and Hancock work only after blind betrayal because it’s the equivalent of the one closeted person you kinda pity getting kicked out after being outted and you and your like 7 other faggot friends take them in and help them do a 180 on their outlook on life and personal style and get them to weed (possibly grape mentats in this case).
#Danse forced to live in the state house cause like Hancock really does fuck all all day and has the space for him#and it’s just being like Danse I’ll learn brotherhood knowledge if you trip on these ne mentats with me once#and then Danse immediately regrets it cause they talked for hours and he felt out of it but he liked not remembering hating his life#this is both a good and bad scenario cause all jokes aside someone as rigid as Danse would have#issues with self control especially after BB because he has no one telling him what to do and not to do#like he’s an adult and can decide for himself but it’s like a parent that refuses to give their kid sugar and now as an adult the kid eats#only junk cause it’s like I can do what I felt I couldn’t before and not knowing when to stop#he’d feel guilt when doing it but the thought ‘I’m not in the brotherhood anymore so fuck it’ would be in his mind a lot#cause I don’t think the others would realize a BOS solider might not be acclimated culturally to wastelander lifestyles and just let him go#wild cause it’s normal for them but yeah Danse would have way too many curiosity and sorrow killed the cat moments#fallout#fallout 4#fo4#john hancock#hancock fo4#paladin danse#am I talking about them romantically or platonically you can take ur pick
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okay but a version of events in which tommy takes ellie to the fireflies, but NEITHER of them come back. and maria joel have to work together to get them back
#maria and joel best friend agenda#has someone already done this (in a way that actually characterizes maria as an actual person w a plot lmfao)#pissed off maria and regretful af grumpy joel having to team up#joel at first being like i canNOT let you come with me youre pregnant#maria: and who the fuck are you to tell me what to do#joel: okay ur coming i guess#him doing anything and everything to make the trip as easy and safe as possible for her#runs on like four hours of sleep every night so she only has to take one watch and gives her 70% of their food#at first maria is sooooooo not having it like#sure you care about me and my baby who you asked your brother to LEAVE for yOUR SELFISH SHORTSIGHTED ASS#but then one night hes telling her a story about ellie and then she tells a story about kevin and he tells a story about sarah#and she can see how much he loves not just his late baby girl but his living one too#and in that moment she just kind of gets it#tommy told her this part of joel was long dead#the part that was soft and loving and good#but he was wrong#he was so wrong#and all maria needed was to see that for herself#and then they team up and break into davids camp and take care of business#tommy and ellie are probably there that makes sense#and then ellie is like we still have to finish this we’re going to the fireflies#maria: um haha ur funny no we’re not#ellie: i—#maria to tommy and joel: no we’re not everybody pack it up#we’re going HOME#joel and tommy: yes ma’am#maria miller#joel miller#au#i had a dream abt this last night couldnt at least do a tag story on it
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Cw: Snake!
Introducing, Kevin ✨
#I saw him at the expo but didn’t get him then regretted it later ;v;#as luck would have it the breeder lived in a town near me and number 6 the guy I wanted hadn’t sold at the show!!#I had everything I needed at home already so the breeder said she’d give me a deal if I just made the trip out to go get him :’] <3#so he's home now!! Everyone meet Kevin! (Named after Kevin Bacon who played Valentine the main character in the horror movie Tremors sdjgh)#tremors#Kevin#the pet tag#he’s no bigger than a pencil right now QvQ#kenyan sand boa#Cw snake#pet snake
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Also, for everyone freaking out about Imogen and Fearne (or Liliana) being the only vessel options, Imogen and Ashton have a seed for a psychic fungus hive mind with connections to Ruidus that they just need to plant. And if the Ruidian seed can talk to the Exandian fungus, and they can connect with Predathos, the entirety of All Minds Burn (including the Exandrians who are part of it) could be the vessel, shared out through multiple (Dozens? Hundreds?) of minds.
That’s a lot of ifs and maybes, but it’s still a possibility. And, of course, they’d have to agree to do it. But I have a feeling they might.
If my favorite C tier NPC of the campaign ends up saving everyone, I am going to be both overjoyed and incredibly obnoxious about it.
And if they don’t, I’m going to end up sounding like this:
#critical role#bells hells#critical role spoilers#c3e107#BRING ME THAT FREAKY FUNGUS!#all minds burn#boy I hope they’re not going to regret not planting that seed on their first trip
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buddie season eight this buddie season eight that
eDDIE DOING LONG TERM INTENSIVE THERAPY SEASON EIGHT WHEN
#i’m sorry but in the nicest way my brain is TRIPPING#like that man does not need a boyfriend to solve his problems#he needs a licensed medical professional#AND THEN HE CAN FIGURE OUT WHATS GOING ON ROMANTICALLY FOR HIM#but eddie has so much more work to do and more important shit than falling in love#please feel free to disagree with me but this is where i stand LOL#eddie 8-12 months of serious therapy before he even considers getting involved in any way with anyone#buddie#eddie diaz#evan buckley#<- i may regret tagging let’s see
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First time staying at the hotel of a theme park (against my will, but that's a long story) and... it's so weird??????
Like I feel like I am not supposed to be here, how do I put it... it screams luxury but I a... childlike/childish way????
And I feel restless, like something is wrong. Uncanny.
#this vacation is weird#maybe i feel restless because it cost me too much...#little rant here because i am still bitter about this okay...#look 8 days in spain and EVERYTHING: 2 hotels/3 flights/several museums/foods and drinks/souvenirs/transportation/small useless trinkets#cost us like € 800? more or less?#like okay could have been less but that’s a darn good price counting small useless luxuries and good meals right?#i feel no regrets spending that amount of money on *that*#i was one of the people organizing it#i knew where my money went before it went there so if something was a waste of money is my fault right????#BUT THEN#i was thrown into this other small 4 day vacation here at one of the theme parks in italy#first day we arrive fourth we go 2 days at the park and the only things we DON'T pay for are breakfast and dinner#fucking €600#and I was occupied with my exams when the other person organized this trip so the moment they called me.and said#“okay already anticipated the money it's 600 per person :D”#i cried#liek i am not exaggerating i literally cried because wtf#600 euros I'd have stayed a week in france#I will never let someone else organize a vacation without my supervision ever the fuck again.#steel rambles#*cries* 1200 € for two peple and 2 and 2 days at the theme park+ 2 days of train is not fucking reasonable mate 😭
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thinking about a no upside down au steddie fic where steve and eddie run into each other years after moving away from hawkins, and eddie remembers steve and his fall from grace as king, and is kind of intrigued to see what kind of person he is now
and steve doesn’t remember him at all at first, because, look, eddie changed his hair again, and steve’s had a few head injuries (no upside down but i imagine he still went thru some shit with the party and with robin), and he didn’t really think about eddie in high school anyway, and he’s trying to forget about hawkins as much as possible (besides the kiddos, but they’re all moved out for college now, anyway) (obviously he lives with robin)
but steve is different now, happier, more open, flirts with guys, flirts with EDDIE, and eddie….. well, he wants to know more! and he tells steve he knows him from hawkins, and steve’s sunny little smile flickers a little, but he just apologizes for not remembering him and mentions he has some memory problems
and they get to know each other, and eventually as eddie tells him more (and maybe with the help of some yearbooks) steve remembers eddie. and. well. they like getting to know each other. and they like each other. and then they get together
eventually they’ve been together for a while, and eddie thinks he wants to maybe introduce steve to wayne, and he mentions he’s going to go back to hawkins for a long weekend (as he’s done a couple times) and this time he’d like steve to join him
and again steve’s sunny smile flickers a bit, but he says he’d love to meet eddie’s uncle, and… they go to hawkins. and it goes well— meeting wayne, at least, but steve seems a little on edge the whole time they’re there, tense when they drive in, fidgety when they go to the grocery store, et cetera. eddie thinks maybe steve is nervous about staying with the man who raised eddie, which is ridiculous, because wayne LOVES steve.
it’s not til they leave the town altogether that steve relaxes, and eddie realizes it wasn’t “meeting the parents” but rather going back to hawkins. and speaking of meeting the parents, steve didn’t ever bring his own up, even though eddie knew they still lived in hawkins. and the way steve glanced around whenever they went in public, like he was scared of getting recognized
and he asks about it, and steve doesn’t really want to talk about it, but he gives eddie snippets of it. people he wanted to leave behind in hawkins, memories that resurfaced, things he wants to forget
eddie goes back to see wayne sometimes, and the first time he doesn’t know whether to ask steve to come, so he just mentions he’s thinking about going to hawkins for some weekend and steve immediately starts making plans with him as if the invite is implicit. they go back to hawkins several more times, steve still tense and pent up the whole time they’re there
over time steve reveals more and more to eddie. everything that made hawkins hell for him, from the things he himself did in high school to the things people did to him. stuff tommy and carol and billy said to him. some of it is just typical high school bullshit (and oh, the nancy thing.) some of it is the tragedies steve went through, the horrors he had to protect his kids from. the injuries he sustained. more generally the homophobia that permeated the whole town, keeping steve from being himself. the lack of support in the indiana public school system for a high school senior who’s had two concussions and gone through incredible trauma.
his parents. the reason why steve’s mail is addressed to ‘steve buckley’ now, not ‘steve harrington’.
(that doesn’t come out until much, much later, and eddie is kicking himself for ever suggesting steve come back to hawkins.)
eddie, who hardly had an easy time of it in hawkins, is absolutely blown away by what steve had gone through in the same town, right under his nose. the entire persona that steve was trying to leave behind — the cool as a cucumber, unaffected, douchey mask he wore to hide all that he had endured. the head injuries. the emotional tragedies he had gone through. the way he had to be the rock for the kids even as he went through the same things as them.
he tries to tell steve they never have to go back to hawkins again, and steve is having none of it. he tells steve wayne can come visit them in their new city, and steve thinks that’s completely unfair to the man who had raised eddie, seriously, you’re going to make him come all the way up here?
and well i don’t know exactly what the ending is but steve is so stubborn about trying to love hawkins because it was eddie’s home and he wants to be able to go see wayne because wayne deserves to see his kid and eddie deserves to see his uncle and steve doesn’t want to be the problem :(
#steddie#stranger things#this isn’t very fleshed out but just. hawkins as an incredibly scarring place for steve#something built up in his mind as a very dangerous place for him not just because of what happened there but who he had to be there#i think ultimately it would culminate in them going back to hawkins and running into steve’s parents when they least expect it#and steve gets to yell at them in public and tell them they suck and ruin their image and eddie is being his little guard dog next to him#baring his teeth#for the no upside down part of the au i think it would have to be like. nebulous tragedy of season 1 struck them#barb still died (sorry barb) so that his relationship with nancy falls apart. will and el are twins and they disappear the same night#steve knows the kids earlier in the timeline in this one and has already basically adopted them when will and el go missing#eddie was never the victim of a massive witch hunt but jason still harasses him during his third senior year and gets ppl to gang up on him#so he was never like Wanted by all of hawkins and can never return but he sure doesn’t feel welcome there besides w wayne#oh i also think it would be important that one of the trips steve snaps at eddie bc he’s so strung out and immediately regrets it#and takes it as proof that when in hawkins Steve Is A Bad Person and tries to explain this to eddie#eddie meanwhile is trying to convince steve that he’s not a bad person and that he was being mean because he’s completely stressed out#and he wouldn’t be so stressed out if he didn’t make himself come back to hawkins#anyway ultimately. steve realized hawkins is just a place where bad things happened. it is not a place that makes people (including himself)#bad. it’s just. a place. and steve did not grow and change for the better bc he got out of hawkins. he got better bc he put the effort in#god i just. love steve so much and the version of him in my mind is so much better developed than what the duffers are doing
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NANCY DREW PARALLELS
the sign of the uninvited guest (1x14) ⇾ the witch tree symbol (3x12)
#nancy drew#nancy drew cw#nace#naceedit#nancydrewedit#tvedit#cwedit#feeling a lot of things currently#thinking about how ace tells laura that he's not going to leave horseshoe bay#because he has found purpose there and would regret leaving#then in 2x06 saying that everything they've done with nancy has given him a sense of purpose#discovering his skills with forensics#then in 2x18 when leaving on the road trip with amanda saying he feels like he's left something behind#to agreeing with ryan when he said that nancy makes him want to be a better person#to admitting his feelings for nancy#and telling her that he doesn't regret telling her#and also carson telling nancy that he didn't regret loving kate even though they didn't get to spend forever together#thinking thoughts over here and they all hurt#i miss them so much#tv: nancy drew#creations: gifs#edits: nancy drew parallels#otp: i couldn't lose you
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London ❤️
#mine#london#this was one of my favorite trips to london#which is saying a lot#not gonna bore you with more pics#seeing sunset boulevard was a dream come true#i have 0 regrets despite the the fact that my elbow got worse on this trip#what an amazing time i had wow#sorry but it was just so wonderful#i already wanna go back again 😆
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made a 16-slide presentation for gabriel jha, i spent three days back to back on this (and planning out the fic that takes place before, during, and after tdpi that's centric around his and dave's brotherly bond, alenoah, noah and dave's friendship, and alejandro and carlos's brotherly bond)
(the slideshow reads like a character wiki page 💀)
no going back now. while i finalize the slides (idek if i should post it here, it's a full-on oc form for a character only i care abt 😭 but it would be good background info), have some before/after racing accident that had dave auditioning for total drama picrews of gabriel! (so in other words, pre and post tdpi gabriel)
#im still debating whether his hair should be longer or styled up#bc like i can def see him growing it out long as a “fuck you” to his dad#but having it styled up and gelled is totally his sort of mojo#so depending on what i ultimately go for the 'before' pic may or may not change#gabriel the man that you are...you are not even a character in td yet i have sm planned for you#he and carlos are gonna be such a trip. debating on them staying as friends or a romantic pairing#bc like their lives mirror each other in many ways#both of them have younger brothers who td fucked over#both of them moved out of their houses upon being legal bc of toxic family influences#both of them feel like they should have tried harder to keep their siblings away from td#gabriel has a direct connection to that so hes gonna be feeling lots more guilt and regret#so they both can actually support each other bc they understand what the other goes through#ough i have sm planned for them omfg#and dave and gabriel's bond is gonna be so complex#which will get carlos and alejandro to realize there are a couple of things they need to discuss too#and noah's just in the middle with his bf and his family friend having their own individual crisis on either side of him#gabriel jha#never thought i'd be making a td oc but here we are. its not even an oc who goes to td or is on the island lmaoo that's the irony of it#kit's ocs#td oc#noahtally-famous#kit stuff#total drama
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Quick reminder: No progress report today, I took the week off to recuperate my waning brain energy. Will be back on my bullshit next week! (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧
#redo; rewind if#it's been so hot lately i've barely ventured outside#every trip i do take is filled with regret#(my car has no ac)#(it's regularly over 90 degrees (fahrenheit))#(that's over 32 degrees celsius)#i bring a giant bottle of ice water everywhere i go lest i perish#i am tempted to dunk my head in cold water before i leave the house but it'd probably dry in 30 minutes or less#and then my hair would be fucketh'd
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Was doing some thinking today and realized that one of the reasons I'm really drawn to Kieran is because he's a rare example of a character that's shy (and usually good-hearted) but still has some rougher edges to him.
I feel like all too often shy characters are shoved into being portrayed as either "smol bean who would never hurt anyone and just wants friends uwu" or "brooding loner who snaps at people to cover up the fact they don't actually know how to socialize" with not a lot of wiggle room in between. While I can and do enjoy characters that (arguably) fall into those respective categories, they're a bit reductive in the sense that things are very rarely that black and white in reality. Even the kindest people have a limit to what they can tolerate. They have bad days or respond poorly to events around them that cause them stress. And the same can be said in reverse as well—point being, people are multifaceted and don't always behave as predictably as we'd like to think.
And I think Kieran reflects that dichotomy perfectly. When we first meet him, he's meek, timid, and relies heavily on his more brash and forceful older sister to help him navigate social situations where he would otherwise lose out on something valuable because he's too afraid to come forward and ask for what he wants (like how she has to ask the player to battle him on his behalf). He's often quick to cower whenever she starts to get heated, but he's also not afraid to point out when he thinks she's wrong and sometimes even gets sassy with her himself. He's undeniably sweet and gentle and shows eagerness to make friends with the player, but he becomes much more curt when he notices we're lying to him about Ogerpon. The rest of the Teal Mask storyline shows him fluctuating even further—yelling at Carmine and the player for keeping secrets from him, punching things in fits of anger...then backpedaling and apologizing for the trouble he caused a few scenes later. Spreading the truth about Ogerpon to everyone in the village to help make her happy...then selfishly demanding a battle to see who's worthy of being her Trainer when she has already clearly chosen the player.
After being lied to and suffering repeated losses at our hands (including the Pokemon he's idolized all his life choosing us over him), he leans even more heavily into his bitter side during the Indigo Disk—being cold and ruthless to pretty much everyone around him, but at the end of the day it's primarily overcompensation for what he perceives as his own personal weakness (because he's still just a kid trying to be taken seriously). He's shown to drop the act on multiple occasions—most notably when he's caught off guard by our appearance at Blueberry Academy and at a few points during the Area Zero expedition. He antagonizes the player up until the moment of his defeat and tries to catch and use Terapagos in a last-ditch moment of desperation that ends up going horribly wrong, but after everything resolves he's quick to admit his mistakes and asks the player for forgiveness and if they can still be friends. After the epilogue he's mostly back to his old self, but still seems to get worked up when provoked (e.g. when he yells at Drayton for refusing to stop calling him "ex-Champ" in one of their League Club Room interactions).
And I think this varied and sometimes contradictory behavior is precisely why Kieran is such a cohesive and believable character—because it shows how even kind, well-meaning people may have a hidden darker side that can show itself under the right circumstances. How they might let their insecurities get the better of them. How a shy, timid kid might not have the experience to know how to deal with sudden feelings of frustration and/or jealousy that are far too strong to keep to himself, so he lashes out as a result. How despite all this he remains kind, sensitive and loving at his core and shows willingness to learn from his mistakes. And that is what makes him so compelling to me.
#mel's musings#kieran#pokemon#all this to say i now have brainrot and you all are going to suffer for it#me: *sees any pokemon boy with attitude problems* son? son boy? he my son boy? ;_;#kieran is also. oddly relatable to me in a way#in the sense that i was a neurodivergent kid whose overstimulation issues among other things weren't taken seriously#and it made me really bitter and angry at both the people who caused them & the people that didn't know how to deal with me#i lashed out a lot back then. i yelled and hit and said things i didn't mean and lied so i could stay in control#and while i still think i deserved better than the shit the adults who were responsible for me put me through#i do regret a lot of what i did. and i try to make up for it by being as patient as i can with others#ALSO. oc tangent time. kieran and denise are very similar in this regard#dena felt a lack of control w/ her dad leaving but couldn't blame him bc then she'd have nowhere to vent her anger#but she's also too young and too hurt to blame herself. so she lashes out at her mom instead (granted. jen made some poor choices too)#but after her treasure hunt and her first trip into area zero she sees things in a different light and is able to reconcile with her#and that's the exact reason she's able to forgive kieran so quickly. bc she had been through a similar thing with jen#i am filled with a whole WHIRLWIND of ideas for my au denise and this cast are a match made in HEAVEN#forest for the tree#mel plays scarvi
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OH MY GOD A YEAR AGO TODAY .
#thats literally insane what do you mean that crazy day was last year. oh boy ok hastily thought up recap thought time#what that day included:#stupidly going out into july in los angeles heat that morning in jeans and a long sleeve black shirt#in that state of extreme sweatiness: meeting john l of tmbg fame. who id be seeing in concert that exact night#an insane story i have told before but nonetheless incredibly bonkers#later that day when i went out again i (also stupidly) wore sandals that cut up the back of my heels#i toughed it out later and put socks on and the russell brand of cdg high tops on and danced at the concert anyway#wore a full gold glitter suit. was still worried about being unnoticeable#i was too scareddddddd to talk to christi who i saw hanging around before the show which i regret#the best part of the concert and that trip to california was seeing it with my best friend who i finally met in person for that trip#he was dressed as ron and i of course was russ in the glitter suit. my hair did not turn out as magically russ as desired#what else. i was too ough before the concert to eat my combination lunch dinner of panda express something#but i did get overpriced fancy crackers and rosé at the hbowl which was my sparks dinner#ok now let me get to the show itself. i did a review the night of but lets see if there are any details i forgot that i can remember now#like right at the beginning of so may we start there was the audible sound of a glass breaking so awesome. someone was ready to get down#russell getting choked up talking abt their mom taking them to the hollywood bowl as kids i haven't stopped crying#oh yeah all the stupid people in the pool circle (front seats) who didn't care about seeing sparks. youre all going to hell#especially the people that left before the show ended#russell achieved some maximum awooga levels but i may have been picking up on those especially because of the rosé#russell saying to the audience in between singing all that how beautiful it looked with everyone turning the light on their phones#another thing i havent stopped crying over#also got a fun bootleg shirt specific to that show when walking back to the hotel. thank you slightly sketchy guy#that whole night and everything was bonkers insane and wonderful can i Please relive it now. please#like literally this time last year adjusting for time zone i was uhhhhh. probably injuring myself in those stupid sandals#and id do it again! well maybe not but id relive that day again#ok anyway. one year huh
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man, sometimes you start plotting out an AU, and you realize that it is going to be of interest to basically no one, so you sigh and decide that it stays on the discord forever
#specifically I’m playing with a gortash redemption postcanon#but it comes from a sort of ‘bad timeline’ ie on my very first run I fucked up Astarion’s romance and never got his act 2 scene#moved on to act 3 without realizing I had done this#got COLD dumped#and just started extrapolating how fucking miserable my Durge would be about it#like Ryla would still slog through and save the world#but I’m durgetash garbage so part of saving the world#in the end#meant killing the only person who ever loved Ryla#and he regrets it. and he’s miserable#and alone#so he goes to withers like “please just one more resurrection#Enver deserves the chance I got#to try and be better#and withers is like well. This makes my favorite mortal happy AND it will make bane SOOOOO MAD.#I see no downsides#so gortash gets a lil true rexzy and he and Ryla get to go on a life changing field trip#but NO ONE wants to read this and I fear for the wank that might come#since Astarion looks kinda. Bad. in this AU#and I’ve had people get mad in my comments over characters that haven’t appeared onscreen/had a chance to speak for themselves yet before#and it was really frustrating and upsetting#and I just don’t wanna do that again
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