#i refuse to use that label for myself lol

[nysrage]

Options, Aran Ojiro.

you weren’t used to dealing with someone one who had as many options as you, especially not with anyone you dealt with behind closed doors. pnd inspired lol.

cw: smut, sneaky linksss, texts, jealousy, cursing, arguing, pet names (baby, ma, pa, daddy), dirty talk, missionary (aran loves to look at your pretty face).

it’s homecoming week at your university, the streets and sidewalks of campus are filled with more than the normal amount of students. house parties being planned around every corner, and food trucks and goody stands wherever you turn. it was a weekend to be alive but for you it turned out to be a weekend full of surprises. the night was still young while you put on the final touches of accessories to pull your outfit together. snapping a couple mirror pics away as you waited for your friends to finish their pregame rituals. “one more shot then we gotta go!” your best friend gizelle giggled, alcohol already coursing through her system and you haven’t even left for the party yet.

you laughed to yourself, continuing to scroll through your phone and weeding out the pictures you didn’t like until a text from a certain someone came across your screen. a smile curving into your lips as you read over the message.

‘can’t wait to see you, ain seen yo fine ass all day.’

“c’mon y/n! take a shot with me!” sending a quick reply you stood, waving your hands in refusal, a flustered smile on your face. “you know i can’t hold liquor.” gizelle smacked her lips, grabbing and pulling you towards the island. “bitch it’s homecoming! throw it back.” placing a shot glass with a slice lime on its rim in your hand. filled with nothing but her fav alcohol, don julio. you timidly lift the glass to your lips. gizelle playfully rolling her eyes and pushing the cup to your lips for you to down, watching your face scrunch in disgust with a giggle. “now we’re ready t’go.”

soon as the door opened the smells of alcohol, weed, and other substances filled your nose. clouded over ceilings and music thumping from the speakers while you and your girls weaved through the crowd straight towards the kitchen. where different bowls of punch made by the greeks were lined up on the table, “so what y’all feeling? i’m leaning towards oil, centaur piss or tiddy milk.” your friend gizelle grabbed a couple cups, you laughed reading over the labels. “greeks always come up with the freakiest shit for drinks.”

you settled for the tiddy milk, joining your friends who were drunkenly rapping and dancing to the music. sipping on the pina colada flavor drink as you glanced over the crowded room. eyes being met with low ones that were already on you. chilling against the wall in rotation, black fit contrasting nice against his deep caramel skin. your mystery boo, aran ojiro. he gives you a smirk and a acknowledging wink, leaving you flustered with a small smile. trying your best to focus on your friends but you kept looking back over your shoulder, body feigning to be by his side. the only thing grabbing your attention is your phone flashing and buzzing in your hand with a thread of texts.

‘you look so good’

‘can’t wait to have yo sexy ass to myself tn.’

‘pretty ass’

‘you givin’ me them looks, must be ready to go’

you give him a glance, aran practically eye fucking you from across the room as he took a long pull of the blunt. you throw him a small innocent nod, your friends picking up on the signs and having a silent conversation between themselves. exchanging looks of ‘she finna leave us for some dick’ and longs sips of their drinks in agreement ‘mhmm’. gizelle finally speaking up with quick bump to the side. “leaving soon?” you suck your teeth and roll your eye’s playfully, ignoring your friends teasing to focus on your boo. aran texting you a quick ‘bet’ pushing himself off the wall and getting ready to make his exit until a girl walked up on him, tugging on his shirt to bring him closer with a smile as she spoke with him.

your eyebrow raised with a scoff, eyeing the interaction from across the room. blood beginning to boil at how long the two have been talking. “ain’t nobody worth leavin’ for.” you say to your friend, turning your back on aran, setting your phone on do not disturb and focusing on the group of girl for the rest of the night. trying your best to not let someone you weren’t even exclusively dating get to you, but your friends definitely noticed the slight shift. “you good girl?”

you nodded, deciding to call it a night. you weren’t one to dampen the mood and mope around your friends. “m’ just tired, been out all day..” gizelle nodded, not asking anymore questions and dropping you off to your dorm, ready to listen whenever your ready to share. the drive back was quiet but comfortable, soft music playing through the speakers. you just staring out at the road post in your thoughts. you didn’t understand what was going on with you. yeah you liked aran, but the traits and behaviors you were throwing you off. some were good and some were bad, like jealousy.

an emotion you never really displayed until now, not even with previous flings or boyfriends. you never really had to compete for anyone’s attention, so where you found yourself now was was new.. and embarrassing. “see you tomorrow luv.” you blew her a kiss, grabbing your things and hopping out the car. walking toward the complex entrance, you found aran waiting for you. ignoring him you walked straight to the door, searching in your purse for your keys. “wassup, so you ignoring me now?” you shook your head, back still turned to him as you placed your id on the reader, unlocking the door. “didn’t think you cared whether i ignored you or not..

“you seemed to have a good convo with ole girl at the party..”

“so you gone be like this over a girl talkin’ to me?” aran raised a brow in confusion, turning you around to face him. you gave him little time though, pulling out your phone and texting your friends you made it home. “aran i’m wayyy too drunk for this conversation right now.” but you were interrupted by him snatching your phone out of your hand.

“man look..” he sighed, placing your phone in his pocket. “m’ not about to do this childish bullshit with you, so what’s up with you.” you shrugged your shoulders, finally facing him with a facade of no emotion. “it doesn’t matter, aran. none of this shit matters.” aran’s face flashing with confusion, taken back by your response. “you could wake up one morning deciding to ghost me for that girl who was feeling all up on you tonight, or any of the options in yo roster and it wouldn’t be shit i could do about it. so why would you care if i’m mad huh?!”

“so you wanna pull that card? you know i ain’t even on that timing.” aran sucked his teeth, jaw clenching with agitation. “everytime i show you any type of progress to something more YOU RUN. that shit confusing!” you close your arms around yourself, embarrassed that he truly paid attention to you and your actions. “whatever aran, can i just get my phone.” he scoffed, running his tatted hand down his face with a sarcastic laugh leaving his lips. “now it’s whatever, shit don’t feel good do it?”

“you the first girl in a while that i felt was fucking with me for me and not some basketball wife fantasy.” aran breathed out, pausing for a second before going on. “you ain’t gotta fight for no spot that already reserved for you ma.” head falling down in defeated with his hands in his pockets.

“but you think i’m privileged or this lil boy who playing games..”

“i don’t think your either aran..” you slowly approached him, engulfing him in a tight hug. aran nuzzled into your neck, hands wrapped tight around your waist as he melted into the sweet smell of your perfume. nothing no longer exchanged because everything had already be said with those few words. aran pulled back, looking into your eyes before closing your lips in a deep, heated kiss. eyes darting all over his face once he pulled back, “still staying with me tonight? so i can hold and kiss on you.”

“hm i don’t know.” hiding your smirk in his neck, trying to continue your pouty attitude, aran smacked his teeth rubbing his hands all over your curves. squeezing on the soft flesh of your ass. “c’mon mama, come home with me.” you sighed, giving him a soft smile. mind set on giving him a hard time the rest of the night as he tries to make it up to you but not even five minutes passed in his room before you were puddy in his arms.

your anklets dangling next your ear while aran folded you up in his bed, ready to split you open. your whines sounding off the walls as his heavy dick slapped down on your throbbing clit. “looka that wet ass pussy..” running it through your slit and teasing your entrance with his tip before sinking into you deep, eyes rolling back with a moan as he caressed your sweet spot within. aran watching the white ring form around the base from how eagerly you sucked him in. keeping that steady pace that had you leaking for him, your hand pushing at his pelvis to keep him from going too deep, only for him to remove it and place it on your lower belly. pushing it down for you to feel him fucking you in ways you’ve never felt before. “feel me huh? m’ all yours mama, this yo dick.”

“ain’t no reason to trip”

your back arching into his at the deep slow pace he maintained, making sure you feel every single inch he gave you. stretching and filling you full while his thumb circled your clit and setting the fire in the pit of your stomach ablaze, legs shaking in his hold. “o-ohhh my g-goddd, paaa.” his eyes flickering from your pooling mess to your glazed over eyes, moaning at how you clenched down on him. “i know baby, i know..”

oncoming orgasm swelling your walls and trying to push him out. “open up for daddy.” slowly hardening his thrust, hips slamming against your pelvis with precision. moans catching in your throat as aran watches your pretty brown breast bounce in his hold, nipples hard and erect from the cool air against your scorching skin. aran wrapping a strong hand around your neck leaning in and giving you a sloppy kiss, slipping his tongue in your mouth and swallowing every moan you let out for him. aran pulled back with a smirk, lips red and wet from the kiss. “you still mad at me..?” you came hard, creamy arousal coating his dick and pelvis. aran slowly stroking you through your orgasm with a smile.

“nah, you ain’t mad..”

[zorrasucia]

can we get your take on the trapped inside the fridge trope? enemies to lovers vibes between reader and carmy? pls and congrats on 300 followers

Hello, Anon! Thank you ☺️💜

And yes definitely! I went for a version where they get trapped a week or so before opening night - I love Carmy with all my heart but he would be absolutely unfuckable that day lol

Send a request for my 300 followers celebration! 🥂

Michelin star chef Carmen Berzatto had already gone through two of the stages of grief after finding out that you two were trapped inside the walk in fridge. He had loudly declared 'this can't be happening' about twenty times, trying the handle over and over: denial. Then, he slammed the door with his fists and palms, cursing at the top of his lungs, screaming his throat raw for no one to hear: anger.

"Fucking manchild," you mumbled under your breath while he screamed through the phone, trying to get "the fridge guy" to get you two out.

You had been training at the kitchen of The Bear for the past couple of weeks, preparing for their opening, and your opinion of Carmy was less than stellar already.

"The fuck were you still doing here anyway?" he barked, like he had suddenly remembered you were there too.

You sighed.

"You asked me to stay, Chef," you emphasized. Was it mature and productive to play the blame game? No. But you were exhausted and cold and tired of Carmy's bullshit. "You asked me to re-label the produce because the tape was torn, not cut."

Carmy looked at the containers right in front of him, his gaze vacant as one tattooed finger traced the edges of torn out tape, one of the last few you had left to replace.

"Right," he exhaled. He seemed to have tired himself out. "What time is it?"

You checked your phone. "Quarter past midnight."

"Fuck."

"Yeah, fuck," you agreed, crossing your arms to stay warm.

Carmy looked at you, his blue eyes fixed on your face as a shiver went down your spine.

"You okay?" he asked.

"Just fine. Freezing myself to death is all," you snarked.

He seemed to hesitate for a moment, then quickly removed his chef whites, and offered them to you.

"I'm fine," you repeated but then a second shiver went through you. "Thanks, Chef," you accepted reluctantly. The fabric was warm from his body, smelling of aftershave and sweat - manly. You wished you didn't enjoy the scent as much as you did.

He put hands in his pockets, keeping warm now that he was only wearing his t-shirt. Your eyes studied the tattoos on his arms and hands trying to guess the meaning or beauty behind them, stubbornly refusing to break the heavy silence between you.

His phone chimed.

"It's, uh, Tony, the fridge guy," Carmy said. "Says he can be here in an hour."

"Plus however long he takes to get us out," you guessed. Carmy nodded. Then, he shivered.

Fuck.

You couldn't believe you were going to suggest this.

"Want a hug?" you offered, looking down.

"Mmm?" Carmy cocked his head, genuinely confused.

"I said, do you want a hug?" you repeated, arms uncrossing. "You're freezing and I'm freezing and we've got at least an hour and a half more of this bullshit."

He stood in silence for a whole minute.

"Alright."

He moved closer to you, hands by his sides, completely still, waiting for you to make the move. There was something endearing about it, you thought as you laced your arms around his wide shoulders, solid muscle under your palms. You were practically the same height, his curls tickled your cheek.

"This okay?" you asked.

"Yes, better," he agreed reluctantly, his voice vibrating through your chest.

You felt like you were holding a statue. Maybe it was a good thing - it would be a little fucked up if the Carmy Berzatto was eager to hold you tight and touch your body. However, a part of you, the part that loved his smell and liked the look of his arms, kind of hoped he would hug you back.

"You can hold me, if you want," you whispered.

He took a step closer and wrapped his arms around your waist, his exhale caressing your neck.

You stood there, in silence, for a while, unnaturally still. You rubbed your thumb over his shoulder for a bit, it made it feel more like a real hug and less awkward.

All of a sudden, Carmy cleared his throat and moved away.

"You okay?" you asked.

He turned his back to you, hands on his hips.

"I, uh, yes, I'm fine," he replied, voice choked up.

"I'm not going to report you to HR or anything, if that's what you're worried about," you mumbled, suddenly feeling very guilty. "Or if I made you uncomfortable-"

He shook his head. "No, no. It's not your-" he stopped himself.

"My f-fault?" you finished, shivering again. The cold seemed to double down now that his body wasn't shielding you and you wanted him back where he was.

"It isn't. It's just been a while," he ended cryptically, glancing over his shoulder towards you, face flushed even with the cold, rearranging his apron to better cover his crotch. And suddenly you understood. You didn't make him uncomfortable, if anything he was too comfortable in your embrace.

"Oh."

"Yeah," he looked up at the ceiling.

"Chef, it's fine," you tried to reassure him. He huffed incredulously. "It is."

Carmy ran his hands through his hair. You followed the lines of muscle you could guess under his t-shirt - it was a distracting sight. You were flushed down to the neck, warmth invading your belly, and it was way past midnight...

"Chef?" he only gave you a tense hum in response. "Can I help?"

"With what?" he replied brusquely. He was angry, again. He was hard for you and angry - why couldn't he just pick one?

"Never fucking mind," you rolled your eyes. "I was going to offer you a quick fuck but if you're going to be insufferable about that too then I guess you can will your boner away and die mad about it," you spat.

Carmy turned towards you with dark eyes.

"You weren't," he denied roughly. "Why would you? You weren't."

"Because I think you're hot and it feels nice being desired," you shrugged.

This wasn't about being in love or some bullshit, you had known each other for two weeks and you were pretty sure he hadn't really noticed you for most of that time. He was horny, you were willing, and you were both cold as fuck.

He took two steps and suddenly he was in your space, forehead almost touching yours.

"Would you still?" he asked simply, his breath tickling your lips.

"Yeah," you exhaled.

"Even with me being insufferable about it?" he insisted.

"Well, then I guess you better make me come," you dared him.

"Okay."

"Okay."

Carmy grabbed you in his arms and kissed you hard, cornering you against the shelves, his body warm and eager against yours. You ran your fingers through his hair, a little greasy from the day, but still soft and addicting to pull on. He groaned into your mouth. His nimble fingers untied his apron and yours, breaking a bruising kiss to throw them on the floor. He didn't attempt to remove any other piece of clothing.

"Not sure you've got your priorities straight," you sassed when he started kissing your neck and touching your breasts over your shirt.

He angled his hips so that you could feel his cock hard against your center. You moaned.

"Don't I?" he teased right back, smiling into your skin.

"Fuck you," you said without bite, panting as he ground his hips against yours. "Shouldn't feel this good," you mumbled hazily.

"Hmm?"

He seemed lost in it, breathing hard into the skin of your neck, the tips of his fingers tracing cold lines on the small of your back, his palms squeezing your ass greedily.

"It shouldn't feel this good to dry hump in a fucking walk-in," you finished your sentence with a breathy laugh.

Behind you, the shelves were shaking with the steady rhythm of Carmy grinding against you.

His blue eyes searched for yours. "I said I'd make you come. And I will," he panted. "But it's been a fucking long while and I need you to be good for me, okay?" His hands held your hips even tighter.

"Yes, Chef," you exhaled, holding on to his shoulders, opening your legs, and letting him use you.

His movements turned desperate, messy thrusts and low grunts as he stared into your eyes and chased his pleasure. He was breathing into your open mouth, drunk on lust, pupils blown.

"Let go. It's okay, let go," you said, one hand caressing his face.

Carmy let out a sharp groan and closed his eyes, holding you tighter as he came down from his high.

"Fuck," he exhaled on the side of your face, spent. You liked that he sounded soft and needy.

"Not so angry now," you teased, fingers carding through his hair.

He laughed and kissed your cheek, your jaw, your neck... His fingers unbuttoned your trousers with ease, and his right hand went inside your underwear unceremoniously.

You hissed at the cold.

"Kind of glad you didn't get me naked, actually," you admitted with a smile.

"Seems like we both enjoyed it just fine," Carmy goaded when his index traced your folds and found you soaking wet.

You couldn't come up with another biting remark, not with his finger inside you and his lips crushing yours. His thumb caressed your clit, doing lazy circles while his index curled inside you.

"Fuck!"

"Good?" he asked.

"More," you pleaded, becoming needy and monosyllabic, arching your back when his middle finger went inside you too.

Carmy swallowed your moans, humming encouragingly as you rode his hand.

"That's it, that's it," he whispered when your pussy started squeezing his fingers.

"Fuck, like that," you whined, rolling your eyes, fluttering around his knuckles, squeezing his shoulders, feeling a wave of pleasure leave you breathless.

You held him tight as you felt the aftershocks, a little confused that he hadn't removed his hand yet but enjoying the feeling of fullness.

His thumb pressed on your clit again, sensitive after your release but still electrified. You let out a low moan.

"I can stop," Carmy offered just as his fingers arched inside you again, making you roll your eyes and shake in his embrace.

"Don't stop," you begged.

It was quicker this time. He had you figured out and ready, pliant under his touch, one leg hoisted over his hip as you unraveled for him.

"Yes, like that," he mumbled as your hips started moving with a will of their own, your pussy tight around his fingers, everything turning white and hot for a moment. He kissed you through it - messy and open mouthed, enjoying your undoing almost as much as you did.

There was a couple of minutes of beautiful silence between you, just your heavy breathing interrupting it.

He kissed the side of your face as he took his hand out of your underwear, wet to the palm. He cleaned it thoroughly with one of the dish towels he kept at the sides of his apron. You blushed at the sight.

"I can wash that for you," you offered.

"No, need," he said, tucking it inside his pocket. His blue eyes took you in completely. "Thank you, Chef."

You nodded, biting your lip.

The fridge guy arrived shortly after that. You two spent the small hours of the morning sat on the floor, not talking, not arguing. Carmy's hand shielded your face from the bright sparks of metal cutting metal.

Things would go back to normal. He would be insufferable in the morning, no doubt, screaming and demanding, losing his mind over torn out tape. But you could enjoy this, having him soft and tired, his arm around your shoulders, knowing well what his fingers felt like three knuckles deep inside you. 

[chevelleneech]

As much as I talk about Chanlix and Jikook, and often use “possibly” or “if”, I’d like to go on record saying, Minsung is 100% real, lol.

Minho and Jisung have been together for years, they’ve confirmed it as much as I think we’ll ever see, and so have the rest of Stray Kids. I genuinely can’t think of any other way for two closeted people to prove they’re in a relationship, whilst working together in the same pop group based in a homophobic country.

They tell us about how often they go on dates, they talk about being fated/destined to be in each other’s life, they have spoken about being each other’s comfort and peace, they flirt nonstop, and the other members have openly discussed how coupled up they are, both seriously and jokingly. Even the two of them have blatantly used “boyfriend” for one another numerous times.

And trust me, I get it. Them not coming out with the words, “Neither of us are straight and are in an official committed relationship with each other.” leaves room for doubt, but at the same time… they have said they’re together. The other members have said they’ve got a thing going on. How much more out can they get without telling us their sexualities? Which isn’t a determining factor to any relationship in the first place.

I don’t know. I’m just saying, I don’t think any ship I’ve ever looked at has felt as undoubtedly real as Minsung. Real to the point where shipping them in the usual sense isn’t fun, because they’re not a ship. They seem like two people genuinely in a relationship, and they go about their days like two people in a relationship. I think the only reason at all that anyone (myself included in a way) holds space for doubt, is because they haven’t “come out” in the traditional way. No one can say for a fact either of them are queer, because we’re all used to same sex pop stars not confirming anything, particularly those who date people they work with, so it makes it easier to assume they’re just joking around. But again, Minho and Jisung aren’t saying they’re not a couple.

They’ve actually been saying the opposite for years, but they also laugh about it and don’t kiss on camera. Which makes complete sense, and the refusal to accept the context of their lives is why I think anyone who says they’re just friends is kind of more delusional than people who ship them. Because the label of their sexualities is truthfully the last line for them to cross, which they likely never will, and expecting them to is crazy.

Choosing to believe two people can’t be dating simply because they 1) are of the same sex and 2) are in the same music group, is indeed ridiculous. They’d just be queer coworkers who decided to date, and like… yeah. I honestly don’t see anything else that makes sense for their own explanations of their relationship, other than them being a couple.

[jaxyapsalot]

I was gonna like do this post tomorrow but it is too good to get lost in my mind and i refuse to use advanced tumblr mechanics so you're getting this from my sleep deprived ass as it was meant to be. Somewhat coherent rambling about SFTH and why it's important to me specifically that they say they are not political but still do gay shit:

I've seen the SFTH boys refer to their stuff as "non-political", which does apply to them and is great! This is not criticism, don't worry lol, but it does baffle me. Cause like. In theory, I am very aware that there are significant differences between the UK and places like Hungary. And I am also aware that the UK still has a shitton of problems, but the fact that they can label queer content as non-political, and be right? That's fucking surreal and also so awesome. Don't get me wrong, in this day and age, queerness can be political, and should be political in some contexts, but SFTH has introduced me to the concept of it not having to be, and said that it isn't very explicitly, and idk. And again, yes from a certain point of view that I often align myself with, what they do on stage is still political, still has that weight, but also, we here can't show gay people in daytime tv! Showing stereotypical and hurtful depictions of a gay person is still considered controversial and very political! So to see SFTH handle queerness as it is, just existing, not inherently political (which, depends on the circumstances. I am willing to fight for my rights and be politicised for the sake of it but god i wish i didnt have to) is really refreshing and i love them 😭

[kirkwallguy]

about the modernized gender language and the way baking sex/gender/sexuality into worldbuilding and giving them cultural backgrounds instead...

imagine if dorian's quest was like "inquisitor the problem with my father started because i refused to marry a woman. I'm only attracted to my own sex" "oh they're calling it gay in free marches" "well that would make me gay then"

TBF if i had to believe any place in thedas used the word gay it would be the free marches because it seems to be kind of homophobic up there and they'd need a word for what exactly it is they don't like.

but like yeah i really think applying a label in this setting is redundant as long as you're portraying the character's experience. i don't feel Represented just because someone says they're nonbinary or transgender, it's about seeing characters with similar or relatable experiences lol, once again they feel more like a teaching moment for cis people who don't know any nonbinary people. that kind of rep has its place of course but don't expect me to gush over it or feel seen. ig i'll see if i feel any different about them when i actually play through their story for myself

[aprillikesthings]

swear to god the amount of time I've spent on this fic that's just looking up release dates of fucking songs/albums like do you KNOW how many times I've had a half dozen tabs open that are just the wikipedia page for [band/person name] discography

because yes I remember that The Beatles' Revolver came out in 1966 but WHEN in 1966, when can I make Adora listen to it while doing homework

for extra-fun points this was back when a lot of music had not only different release dates but the albums had different track lists, between the USA and the UK--American kids had more spending money, on average, than British kids; so American albums tended to be shorter so they could sell the songs as singles and EP's as well. In the case of The Beatles specifically, their really early stuff was across more than one label! Their albums didn't have the same track lists on both sides of the pond until Sgt. Pepper--at that point they insisted on it, and after that the track lists were always the same.

Sgt. Pepper was still released a week later in the USA than in the UK but I wonder if that was like, literally due to the time it took to ship the damn thing across an ocean lolol

Anyway even as an obsessed teenager in the mid-90's I only bothered memorizing the British album names/tracklists, since that's what was released on CD--the singles that weren't on any albums in the UK were released on their own compilations.

I say "bothered memorizing" lol I didn't even do it on purpose it just...happened. I used to be able to just recite the UK full-length albums in order of release.

Wait can I still do it?

Please Please Me, With the Beatles, A Hard Day's Night, ...I'm missing one I think?..., Help!, Rubber Soul, Revolver, Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, Magical Mystery Tour, Yellow Submarine, The White Album, Abbey Road, Let it Be (hah those last two always trip me up bc they were released in a different order than they were recorded)

Okay let me look and see if I fucked up

OH RIGHT the one I missed was Beatles for Sale. To be fair that album has a lot of...less good songs on it. Though it does have Eight Days a Week on it, which is one of my FAVES. And I got Yellow Submarine and the White Album in the wrong order. (To be fair, Yellow Submarine was mostly "leftovers" from recording Sgt. Pepper and Magical Mystery Tour; the White Album is a totally different style)

ANYWAY this was SUPPOSED to be a post about writing my fic lol god I spent all of yesterday going "I need to write....I need to write...." but couldn't get any words down, until I watched a chunk of Monterey Pop on youtube and then voila, words fell into the gdoc. The funny thing is that I know I just recently reblogged a post that was like "if you're stuck, write or at least imagine things later in the story" and I keep refusing to let myself do that even thought it keeps working when I give up and do it. Because of course it's by writing things that happen later that I figure out how to approach scenes that happen earlier!

But also at this point, their senior year is going to be two or three chapters!, and "Catra hitch-hikes to SF" is going to be an entire chapter by itself. My actual chapter listings in the doc are unintentionally hilarious because at this point it's going to be, like, twice as many chapters as I was planning. 😩

That said I think I only need a couple more scenes before this upcoming chapter is finally done? But at this rate, by the time they graduate high school the rest of the fic will be basically done hahhhhh

[saberdramon]

honestly i think the more modern push to give evrey identity a seperate box and label is detrimental to the community as a whole, like how people view non binary people as afab waifs who could be mistaken for a child, and call anyone who doesnt fit that box a pretender, especially amab looking folk

like, if i had to describe my identity only using labels? thered be too many and people would have a go at me for the ones that contridict each other, because the whole point of labelling is to shove people into specific boxes, when thats not how it works

i know theres people who find relief in labels, but forcing everyone to conform to it is not how we should be doing it

i can understand the human urge to like, categorize things, it's kind of wired into us if i remember correctly, and labels are a useful tool for communicating your experiences to others also, that's kind of their primary purpose as a part of language. but there aren't a whole lot of things in life that fit to things like binaries or other restrictive systems like that, and when things like informing a person of the existence of a term that might describe their experience turns into active policing of barriers that are in different places for different people things get. goofy and messy, alienating even in my case. i have less of a problem with an abundance of terms and labels (xenogenders are rad as hell and i wish i was creative enough to find one for myself sometimes lol) and more with people settling for very narrow or strict understandings of what a given term or label means, and adhering to those with the viciousness of a wounded swan while refusing to broaden those understandings - let alone challengings their understandings of the terms used to describe the labels they protect so aggressively. maybe that's why there was so much ruckus about bi/pan at that one point, which also alienated me from using those for myself in turn... there could be a conversation to be had in terms of using labels as communication tool vs using them as identities but im. probably not smart enough for that really (and i should be doing uni stuff as we speak...)

[littlequeen7]

Writing this here bc I have no one else to talk to about this except for my gay trans little brother (lmao).

I'm 28 and in the past I've been in some pretty fucked up relationships. And my relationship with sex has been incredibly toxic, to the point where I cringe when thinking about ever having sex again. But I also find people like sexually attractive, and can.. get off, so to speak. And I thought I was pansexual before this but now I'm thinking that can't possibly be true if I don't actually want to have sex with people I'm attracted to. So I did a tiny amount of digging and I think I found the labels that feel the most accurate to me? Panromantic and aegosexual. Which, I didn't even know being aegosexual is a thing, but it pretty much sums up my thoughts about sex. So I guess that's what we'll stick with for now? Idk, it is all very confusing, I didn't even realize I was nonbinary til I was like 25 (I didn't know I was even *allowed* to feel like neither gender) and I didn't realize I was "bisexual" (obviously that has changed) til after I graduated high school. Idk, I'm sure the whole autism thing and compulsive heterosexuality has a ton to do with my complete lack of introspection about any of this until recently lol to be quite honest, I didn't even know I was AuDHD til a few years ago either. So the past 5 years have been a huge "getting to know myself" party lol thanks trauma! I know no one will read this but I just wanted to throw it out into the world with people who don't actually know me lol I dread having to explain that to my family members who still can't/refuse to use they/them pronouns for me. So we'll just keep it between me and my brother for now lol queer sibling solidarity 🤘

[hauntedjohnny]

just wanted to let you know that johnnys-breastmilk is a proshipper in case you didn’t know <33

hi i know you mean well but i am well aware of the people i interact with. me and the block button are close friends <3 theres been a lot of hostility from both sides this week so here's grounds for a calmer discussion about it.

honestly i think the pro/anti ship labels are reductive and redundant. just because someone explores darker themes in their writing/hcs doesnt mean theyre open to ship anything. there is no definition to what being 'proship' is other than letting people use their creative outlet to explore whatever themes they want. would i identify with this? no because i have limits. just like you. just like J-B. but do i also believe people should be policed into only writing socially acceptable themes and relationships? also no. the thing about the limits is that it looks different for everyone. am i a proshipper for writing and enjoying noncon fics? to some people yes! to some people no! would i write and enjoy underage or beastiality fic? no because theyre hard limits for me (and probably are for a lot of people). to some people we're all in the same immorality boat but i think there's a nuance that an all-encompassing label refuses to acknowledge. 'proship' is reductive because it doesnt actually MEAN anything. sure they could be a genuinely harmful person and hurting a community through their content but 95% of the time theyre not!

when it comes to something like incest (hot topic in the tcm fandom) maybe take a moment and consider why someone would be into a topic like that, why they enjoy exploring that theme in a safe way through writing or drawing etc. sure fiction can affect reality but often times reality also affects fiction. im not saying you have to enjoy the posts but opening your mind and offering some grace to the people who need an outlet explore these themes doesnt hurt.

in the early days of this fandom i did not enjoy seeing incest posts (specifically johnny/sissy*) so i did what i know best: block the blogs and blacklisted the tags. it worked !! as time has passed ive become much more open to the themes of incest in tcm. for me, when i interact with these themes its not to fulfil some kind of desire, it's usually analytical discussion: realistically what would these people do? what dynamics are formed if you introduced these themes? you unlock a world of potential by looking at things through a lense you normally wouldnt, especially a taboo one. however, just because this is how i prefer to interact with these topics, it doesnt make the people who have a more emotional connection to them any weirder than me, if anything i find myself grateful to not have an emotional reaction strong enough to the point of needing an outlet to process them and you should too!

*i later realised that the reason i initally didn't vibe with johnny/sissy was actually because i didnt enjoy the way people characterised them in that dynamic and not because of the 'incest' (theyre not even related lol).

i just think everyone should be a bit more open-minded and nicer to eachother. and this goes both ways. im not saying you have to be into this shit. if you arent then block it and move on without whining about it in the tags. if you are into it you have to accept that not everyone is. just block any disingenious comments/questions. you will not change their mind.

tldr; im not one to post too much about taboo topics like incest/necro etc but im not gonna hate or even disagree with people who do. if you get genuinely mad over this then just take a moment to think about what kind of people post about darker topics and why they may need to do so.

[odinsblog]

Is the Hamas torture video post true? I can't find anything other than an ADL post

I haven’t and I refuse to post or link to any of the videos, so I’m not really sure which “torture video post” you’re talking about, unless you mean this post or maybe this one

At any rate, I have unfortunately seen at least two such videos (mostly because of how Twitter no longer labels graphic content/violence), and it was before I was fully aware of what was actually happening in Gaza. The first video showed young women being dragged and paraded through the streets by Hamas. Some of the women were dead, and the ones who were alive had very clearly been raped and their clothes were all bloody between the legs. The other video I watched showed a family that was taken hostage, and then abruptly they murdered an 18yr old girl in front of her parents and her little sister. I “saw” other videos, but LOL, I’m ex military, but I’ve been shot at, at close range several times before (not while I was in the military), so I tend to be a bit squeamish around real/realistic depictions of death — so I let the video and audio play, but I looked away and had a friend more or less describe what was happening to me, only looking at the screen myself periodically.

Look, I wholeheartedly believe that decolonization always has and always will require violence. Things are absolutely no different with Palestine freeing themselves from Israeli oppression. I get that, okay?

SN: now feels like a particularly good time for this warning: be wary of anyone suddenly stressing “peaceful nonviolent resistance”.

I’m sorry, but rape, torture and intentionally murdering children and disabled people is kinda a bright red line for me. It’s an indelible line that I cannot cross. And I won’t defend it, I won’t excuse it, I won’t ignore it, and I won’t pretend that war crimes like rape are just the cost of doing business.

Let’s do a thought experiment: pick whatever’s most important to you, something (you think) you’re willing to die for - maybe it’s LGBTQ rights, or Black liberation, Climate Change, or whatever. You get the idea. If someone said to you, “Hey, we may be forced to kill some people to achieve our goals and gain our freedom,” maybe you’d be down with that. But if they said that rape would be required, would you still be cool with that? If they told you that killing children and the elderly was a part of the plan, could they still count on your unwavering support?

And to be super clear here: please let’s not pretend that the IDF hasn’t done some of the exact same things to Palestinian civilians that Hamas has done to Israeli civilians. Israel is currently bombing the fuck out of Palestinian hospitals, UN schools in Gaza, and turning off water on children, the sick + disabled, and the elderly. You would have to be the biggest most gullible fool on earth to believe that all of the apartment buildings that the IDF has leveled to the ground in Gaza, had zero innocent people inside them.

So I guess in the end, all I’m saying is, regardless of which side you choose to support, we must always always draw the line at war crimes.

And a friendly reminder: Hamas ≠ Palestine

Another friendly reminder: you can be pro-Palestinian without being antisemitic.

One more friendly reminder: Hamas would not be nearly as strong as it is today if Benjamin Netanyahu hadn’t repeatedly propped them up over the years, to keep the Palestinian people from becoming united.

And one final warning for anyone reading this: Elon Musk has all but eliminated the part of Twitter that used to block misinformation from being posted. Therefore you’re going to see A LOT of rightwing, anti-Palestinian + anti-Ukrainian propaganda. Please don’t fall for it. Check and double check the sources.

And as always, TERFs dni

[milflewis]

who is sinead o’connor?

wasn’t going to answer this lol bc i’ve actually found myself feeling more about her passing than i thought i would? so apologies if this comes off a bit weird i am in a v strange place rn. btw. she converted to islam a few years ago and changed her name to shuhada sadaqat. tho she still performed under sinéad o’connor! she was an irish singer from the late eighties and was v talented. would ten out of ten recommend her music! but to me and a lot of ppl she was so much more than that.

the first time i saw a woman angry on tv it was shuhada sadaqat. it was a replaying of this video and the news station was taking the piss out of her. i was eight and i remember my grandad waking up from his nap and rolling his eyes at the screen and saying she should’ve kept her mouth shut. that he used to think she was smth worth looking at. and changing the channel to the sunday match.

she was So Angry and so so unapologetic about it. the ripping up of the pope’s picture in this video and declaring that we should fight the real enemy. was her way of talking about the systemic sex abuse that children have faced at the hands of the church for decades and how no one is properly talking about it. keep in mind this was BEFORE there was any serious investigations being done or it was being discussed openly in the media. it was not smth that was being acknowledged and any priests that were being caught were being treated as a ‘bad apple’ rather than part of a system of institutionalised abuse. she was nearly completely ostracised and blackballed. she was labelled batshit crazy and difficult and a shrew etc. you know the story. it’s always the same.

she never took it back. i remember one time where she was asked did she regret ruining her career bc the career that she could’ve had v much did get fucked by what she did and she said that it fucked up the career that ppl (her agents and etc) wanted for her. not the one that SHE wanted. that has always stuck with me.

sadaqat was also a survivor of the magdalene laundries. having been sent there for shoplifting i believe? at 18. which are a whole other story but were basically these places set up in ireland by the church and sanctioned by the government where unwed and pregnant/misbehaving and or had mental health issues girls and young women were sent to work (launder clothes and sheets etc) until they gave birth and then the child was taken from them and given up for adoption or were declared fit to return to society. there were v few records kept of who went where. a lot of children and women didn’t make it due to the conditions they were living in (corporal punishment was also not an uncommon practise used). a mass grave of nearly 800 bodies was found here in Tuam in 2017 (i think?) which caused a national scandal that has been handled and is still being handled so v fucking poorly it’s depressing. the church has yet to apologise or take proper ownership for this. neither has our government. who had at best allowed it to happen and at worst encouraged it. for context. shuhada tore up this picture in 1992. the last laundry was closed in 1996.

she spoke out about how abortion was dealt and not dealt with in this country. how we were sending people away to england to have them instead of legalising it here. an irish solution to an irish problem. she told her story about how she had them to try to normalise and create a discussion decades before it was allowed and brought into practise here.

she talked about things. this. to me. was one of the biggest things she ever did. she spoke! she refused to ignore and let it go! which in this country is pretty fucking rare rn. let alone back then. this is who she is and so much more. if you’re interested to learn more about her i would highly recommend looking her up! (she did a podcast episode with blindboy that i haven’t listened to yet but i’ve heard v good things about!) she was a pretty fucking cool person

[iglowlilac]

What are your therapist’s thoughts on Sydcarmy very interested.

honestly, my therapist hasn't said anything about sydcarmy, per se. she is "more interested" in us discussing the fact that I currently have a MAJOR HIPERFIX on the ship.

so, since I don't want to overexpose myself, I can safely sum it up by saying that my life has been super chaotic, and it's interesting, for both my therapist and I, how I might be leaning on sydcarmy brainrot to simultaneously "cope" and "avoid dealing" with "reality" (but I call it "delulu behavior" cause it's cute lol).

there's also the fact that I pretty much relate to Ayo's character (Syd), especially with regard to how I, as a black person, am, or am trying to be, "my own person," and how this white world tends to respond to the black & feminine refusal to conform (given the comments of most viewers of the show, we know the answer is cynicism & violence).

also (it gets deep, Anon) the hate-based insistence of most "the bear" incels, racists viewers on labeling sydcarmy as a "platonic relationship" is a tender subject for me, because 1) duh. they are obviously soulmates burning, yearning for each other and 2) as a black person, this "platonic" experience, while navigating "romantic" love life, is hell. so, at this point, i'm sydcarmy truther because DUH, this is clearly THE slowburn i've been wainting for years, but i also do it as a way to be rebellious (i want healing and revenge in equal measure. can't wait to celebrate sydcarmy passionate first kiss whilst the haters shave their heads, idk).

anyway THANKS for asking, anon! it was truly unexpected. i recently got back to tumblr after 5 years of not remembering i still had an account here, and i thought i still had to enable the ask feature thing.

I hope i've answered your question btw. english is not my first language. i'm still going to keep discussing sydcarmy with my therapist, tho. and hopefully, eventually, get her to talk about them. as a psychoanalyst, she doesn't talk much... (me, in the other hand... lets just say that there's not much time left for her to say much, tbh).

[x]

[landslided]

Honestly one of the things that fascinates me about Cobra Kai is how Daniel's perception of what Johnny thinks colors the way he reacts towards Johnny.

The way he greets him in the dealership makes it clear that he still thinks of Johnny as a kind of archetype. And obviously a lot of the show is about them getting past that and learning to know each other as adults, or is in the ideal version in my head, lol.

But I would like the moment when Daniel's perception flips and he sees Johnny in another light, with another label attached:

Bisexual, mentally ill sex worker with substance abuse problems and C-PTSD from being groomed as a child soldier in a cult.

i feel everyone on tumblr has decided to send me anons that appeal to me particularly because OUUUUGH anon, i am SUCH a fan of this.

i also love to explore daniel’s perception of johnny and by extension, himself through johnny because i think sometimes when daniel realizes that johnny isn’t the fully fledged villain or at least an archetype he has imagined in his head, he has to take a moment and shift his gaze onto himself.

we have a bit of a moment like this in S1Ep9 (different but the same my absolute beloved) when daniel learns that johnny’s dad wasn’t around and that laura married sid. you can see the gears shift in his head and think "oh… maybe there is more to this than i thought" and johnny has those same moments with speedwagon (which, is less deep than daniel’s realization but an important one of oh maybe we do have stuff in common that isn’t just our past).

i also think johnny in the show is more open to having his perception of daniel shifted because he does not have the same trauma attached to daniel. obviously, it’s pretty normal of daniel to be mistrustful of johnny because well, he was his high school bully who made his life hell, but i think there’s also a special brand of i can’t trust anyone and everybody is exactly how i see them philosophy that is a legacy of what terry silver has done to daniel. and when robby manages to make his way into daniel’s life and his trust and then is found out to have lied, daniel completely breaks down and has a reaction to robby (a kid) that feels just too much for the situation at hand.

also, if you, like me, love to read daniel as repressed in his sexuality (because hello guy from the 80´s and also once again, he was betrayed by silver and i don’t even mean this in a silverusso way but in a oh i can’t trust anyone with parts of myself because they could use it against me way) then there is a layer to daniel’s refusal to see johnny differently that is i think a way to protect himself and his own vision of himself and his desires.

i… love daniel larusso so much. he is such a complex mess of a character who believes himself to NOT be a mess and that’s what makes it so delicious to me.

but god, yes. bisexual, mentally ill sex worker johnny with substance abuse problems and C-PTSD, like, it’s not that far off from what he is in canon! we just put the actual words on it! (i could also go on a full tangent about sex worker johnny and the clues we have of that past in the show but i won’t here). i think if daniel ever learned about any of this in any capacity his brain would shut down for a least three to four business days before he tried to be aggressively supportive and johnny would find it unbearable. (i would like to see it)

[berylgrace]

boring uni rambling below (me talking about sensitivity readers, identity, and other stuff)

one thing i love about my degree is the opportunites i have to academically critique and pick at pjo - the assignment i'm currently working on is about sensitivity readers (my topic choice), so i included reference to riordan's now deleted blog post from 2020 about piper, feathers and all of that controversy, which is super important to remember and i think an interesting case study into meaning well, but causing harm. he did say he would use sensitivity readers nowadays if he was writing it, but too little too late, yk?

anyway it's an interesting topic to read into in general. my assignment also has me talking about like - in that case, who is allowed to write what? so it's a lot of like, authors/actors being forced to out themselves bc of the heavy policing, and that just makes me INSANE

like. i don't talk about my sexuality. in fact i don't even think about it. i refuse to label myself bc i don't want or need to, nothing about me is concrete and i don't like wasting energy agonising. i barely even use umbrella terms like queer bc i don't want to invite questions or claim anything. and the thought that i could be publicly criticised for that is so??? like god forbid a character expresses realistic complex feelings about their identity and their life without the author themself being all of those things?

that's why a lot of my stuff is about the value of a sensitivity reader PLUS good faith writing. idk what it's like to be transgender but as i have so many people in my life that are that i'm close to, i could write a good faith interpretation based on what i know and yk, having empathy and an imagination. and then, for good measure, have a trans person look over it! and not to sanitise it, but to make sure nothing i'm doing is harmful, and that anything seemingly negative has a justification, a narrative reason, etc. it's not about perfection, which people who are against sensitivity readers don't seem to get

i think saying that X group can't write about Y group is just way too othering. do ur research, have your sensitivity readers, but erring too far on the side of caution just emphasises this stupid idea that we're fundamentally different. our experiences might be but our humanity isn't.

idk anyway that's enough lol

[duckwithablog]

The lurker anon reappears! Thank you for answering my questions, and I’d love to hear the backstory of your macaque theme!

Also, I forgot to label myself. Silly me. Mmm 🤔… perhaps peach🍑 anon if it’s free? Because- unrelated to the cute and cheeky monkey man- I really, really love peaches!

YOO hello again!! And yeah, 🍑 anon is free!! I haven't tried eating peaches but they look so aesthetic,, the only peach flavored thing i tried was a peach drink and i ordered it PURELY bcs of LMK HHAHSHSAH

time for some blog lore..... THIS IS GONNA BE KINDA LONG AND RAMBLY SO BE WARNED-

Before this account was made, I actually had a different tumblr account for personal use (I never log into it anymore though lol) instead of writing. I was in the LMK fandom at the time, so I was reading x reader fics EVERYWHERE I could, from wattpad to tumblr to ao3.

And wouldn't you know it, when I was scrolling through the tags on tumblr I saw someone promoting their newly written fic they made on ao3!! I read it, loved the premise, and left a kudos and a comment (I think I left a comment? I'm not sure, I was a lurker as well when it came to reading HSDHSD).

Not too long after, I was scrolling through their blog and saw a post of them asking for any possible writing friends to interact. I thought 'hey!! i can write!!' and promptly sent them a dm. We chatted over our brainrot of the stinky monkeys and we grew to be pretty close writing buddies!! I even got to come up with a ship name for a pairing in the fic (the pairing was Macaque and Y/n, and Y/n in the fic was a baker, so I proposed the ship name 'Mooncake'. Still super proud of that ngl!! I'm pretty sure I made one for Wukong and Y/n too, but I forgot what it was </33 Mooncake was just so iconic to me).

We bounced off ideas from each other, and I sent them posts about Wukong (they were a Wukong Apologist and honestly, slay), and one of them actually managed to influence their characterization for him in a later chapter!! I was even writing my own LMK x reader fic at the time, and while I gave up on it after a while, they were the first person to ever read the first few paragraphs and gave me their thoughts.

Eventually, I had an urge to make a whole blog dedicated to x reader writings because I was inspired by them to make one, and when I told them they told me to go for it!!

Here's where the important bit comes in: This person's blog was themed around Sun Wukong. They're a Monkey King lover, they fucking love that stupid smelly monkey man!! So I told them "hey wouldnt it be funny if my blog was Macaque themed so we could match?" and they went "DUDE"

And boom!! That's the reason why my blog is Macaque themed!! I went through a LOT of custom tumblr themes (you know where you open someones blog and instead of being the regular tumblr blog layout its a totally new one that they customized themselves? Yeah that was me), meanwhile my friend just stuck to a simple 'Wukong pfp + header and orange background'. I think that matched our character themes really well HAHSAHSAH

Unfortunately, I'm sure that my friend is not working/active anymore. Their last post on tumblr was them apologizing for the lack of updates because of art school, and that was it. I don't know how long it's been since I checked up on the fic, but when I did, I found that their ao3 account was orphaned. So it's probably safe to assume that theyre not coming back to their tumblr acc either.

But still... I kept my Macaque theme. Even when my LMK interest started to fade and other media took over my brain, I refused to change it. Idk why, sentimentality I guess? It just felt wrong.

I have no idea where they are now, honestly. I just hope theyre doing okay. They were a super cool person, and I loved their fic and I loved talking to them and I loved being their friend!! Even if they probably wont see this post, I just want them to know how much of an impact they had on me. It was because of them I made this account, and got into writing requests and fics. And even if that didn't work out, they got me back to writing in general! They were an awesome person and they deserve everything good in life!!

Augugh this got sentimental... My bad!! Ngl, I've been secretly waiting for someone to ask me why my blog was Macaque themed, but the chance of that happening was really slim so I held the Blog Lore™ in. BUT NOW I CAN FINALLY SAY WHAT IVE BEEN HOLDING IN FOR YEARS RAHHH

Thanks for asking this, btw 🍑 anon!! Sorry if this was so rambly and long, my mind do be like that (incomprehensible to decipher sometimes). I'd love to see you pop in some more, if youd like!!

Oh!! And since ur a Wukong lover as well, you should read their fic!! It's unfinished, but I think you should give it a shot. The chapters are long, the writing style and interactions between characters are great, and the development and pining is well done!!

I realize that this sounds biased, but ermm..... IDC GO READ THEIR FIC!!! (/nf) Kudos and comment bcs they deserve it!! Even if they dont get to see it, I'd like to at least cheer them up on the off chance that they do.

Here's the fic!! And their tumblr acc too, because they make some pretty banging drawings for their writing!!

@butternut-zippersqaush

[kittoforos]

1, 25, & 33

Which labels do you use?

uh let's think. queer. genderqueer. nonbinary. all that sort of thing works tbh. trans, to that end. bisexual. if somebody calls me gay or lesbian i'm unlucky to correct them either way. as i've grown into myself and my setting i've become a lot less precise with language honestly. eye of the beholder baby what dyou want me to be etc

25. What queer discourse frustrates you the most?

whatever this week's flavor of assimilationism is. i'm truly sorry, but you'll never be normal now. throwing other more vulnerable queers under the bus doesn't even get you anything real. stop it lol

33. What about your LGBT identity do you feel proud of/want to recognize/celebrate?

how can i put this. i love being able to totally opt out of a lot of the imposed structures of life i find most repugnant, i like queerness as a refusal, i like the comparative freedom and the little shimmer of utopian potential with which this positionality imbues my life. and i love the comradeship with others of similar mind, similar desire. idk lads maybe a better world IS possible idk