#i refuse to go past season 3 because this is when things start to CHANGE | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

lamentationsofalonelypotato · 4 months ago

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Chapter 21: Try to Understand

Pairing: Soldier Boy x f!reader, Reader POV, Soldier Boy POV

Summary: When the reader left Payback 40 years ago after a falling out with her childhood best friend she never looked back, but when two men show up to her apartment and start asking her questions about the past, the reader begins to think those things can’t stay hidden and starts to question what’s real and what’s fantasy. This is a re-telling of The Boys Season 3, where the reader is a supe who's known Soldier Boy since 1927. The chapters will fluctuate between past and present. This is chapter twenty one of my "You Call It Madness But I Call It Love" series. (I'm so bad at summaries please forgive me!)

Word Count: 7.5K

Warnings: I'm gonna go 18+, I'm not sure that it needs it, but I'm still gonna do it. Angst, Talks of pregnancy, Talks of possible abortion, Cursing, Fluff, Sexual References, Graphic Nightmare?, FLUFF, Family Problems, Self-deprecating thoughts, Awkward Situations, Soldier Boy might be, is, really, absolutely, completely a little OOC. Soldier Boy is really all you need as a warning.

Note: This is told from the Reader's perspective. Any references to the reader is made using you or your. There is minimal use of y/n. I tried my best to proofread, but nobody's perfect. Reader is described as "curvy" occasionally. If you don’t like, don’t read, but if you do like, you’re my favorite!

Internal Monologue is in first person and is in italics

Series Masterlist

Masterlist

Soldier Boy POV

After his shower, you still haven't come back from talking to Rosemary, and Ben decides that instead of eavesdropping on your conversation, he's going to go to the kitchen and get a drink. He knows exactly where Legend hides the good shit, mostly because Legend hid it to keep it away from Ben in the first place. And despite it happening forty years ago, nothing in Legend's house had changed. Ben had many memories of this house, at least two Herogasms had been hosted here, hell, Ben had memories in the room you two were sharing, but he kept them to himself.

The last thing he wanted was for you to think about any of the things that happened in the past, not when you had told him that he had made it up to you, not when you had held him close after all these years and whispered things to him that he always wanted you to say, and not when he was more happy than he'd ever been.

You said that you forgave him, Ben understood that, but that didn't mean he was going to stop making it up to you every day and it didn't mean that he was going to stop making you happy, because after all these years you were still the only thing he wanted, and he refused to lose you ever again.

He glances at the empty bottle on the nightstand, the one that you brought with you last night and the same bottle the two of you finished together.

He was surprised when you said you stopped drinking, but not completely. You'd only drunk socially as a supe, and Ben hadn't seen you drunk since the two of you were kids. He knew it was because you didn't want to lose control like he did.

Ben stutters on the memory of what happened in Mid-town, and what happened forty years ago when he threw a car through a house and killed an innocent bystander. Ben didn't believe he was a bad guy, he was a hero or- the memories of all the moments he lost control began to seep though the cracks- at least he thought he was.

His mind drifts back to you. You were always in control. The one time he'd ever seen you lose control was when you lost it at the premiere all those years ago. It was justified. Ben would have lost it too if he walked in on anyone fucking you. His jaw clenches at the thought, but then he remembers what you said last night, that there hadn't been anyone else, that you never wanted anyone else but him ever. It was surprising to him, that you hadn't moved on, even after all this time you still loved him the same way you always had and that there would never be anyone else.

Fuck. Ben took in a deep breath to avoid getting too excited remembering what you said, feeling warmth begin to build in his abdomen. It had been difficult to contain himself when you admitted that to him. If you had let him, he would have made love to you right then, made you feel things that no other man ever did, but you said you wanted to wait.

And Ben wanted to respect that, wanted to respect you.

He examines the empty bottle once more.

When you were younger he'd watch you get drunk on cheap beer that he bought you more than once, usually when you proclaimed that you could drink him under the table and then Ben had to practically corral you to get you home. Then again he liked those nights, when you'd try to sing, swing from light poles that lined the street, and you'd grab his hand and say crazy things like "let's run away" or "let's go egg Missy Callahan's house." Both of which Ben didn't need much more convincing to say yes, but the two of you never did.

He would have run away with you if you'd ever seriously asked him to, he would have dropped everything to leave, would have chosen you just as you chose him the night he showed up and asked you to go with him to get the serum. The promise he made to protect you and be strong for you the night you went with him was not new. He had repeated it to himself every day since the minute he realized how much you meant to him.

And he would continue to do it for the rest of his life.

Ben ascends the stairs, buttoning the Giants jersey that Butcher bought for him. He wasn't the biggest fan of them forty years ago, but it was one of the only shirts he had. And the last thing he wanted to do was walk around without a shirt on. Ben smiles to himself remembering your reaction when you walked in on him changing into his supe suit yesterday morning. He loved that you reacted to him that way, it was the same way that he reacted to seeing you yesterday when you were standing in your bathroom in only your bra, looking just as beautiful as you had forty years ago when he took you to bed and-

Fuck. Ben took in another deep breath finishing the last button to avoid thinking about you naked. It had been forty years for him and he knew that he was going to have to take it slow when it came to sex.

He stumbled into the kitchen and froze.

Lou was sitting at the square kitchen table that sat under a floor length window and looked out onto the sprawling backyard of Legend's property. Ben could see Rosemary and you talking at the very edge of where the grass met the thick woods beyond.

"Hi Ben!" Lou smiles wide at him. A giant box of crayons sits on the table just beyond her filled with every color known to man, while she scribbles in a sketchbook that looks suspiciously like the same ones that Ben had seen you buy for yourself in the past. "Do you know how to draw trees? Aunty y/n always does them for me, but she's talking to mommy."

"Um-" Ben clears his throat, fastening the last button of his shirt. Lou was smiling at him the same way you did, like she was genuinely happy that he was there, and he wasn't used to that. It was the same way you used to smile at him when he climbed through your bedroom window. He looks out the window to where you're still talking to Rosemary trying to find a way out, until finally he sighs. "No. I'm sorry."

"That's okay, mommy can't draw either." Lou looks back at her drawing while reaching for a brown crayon. She was wearing pink polka dot pajamas, pants and a shirt that matched. Ben had never seen pajamas like that before, but he supposed that pink was her favorite color, given that she was also wearing a pair of bright pink fuzzy slippers.

He couldn’t help but smile. He wondered if you hated how much Lou liked pink, if it reminded of those dresses your mother used to make you wear that always made you look like a giant iced birthday cake.

Personally, Ben didn’t think you looked that ridiculous, he thought that you looked cute, ruffly, but cute. You never believed him when he told you that.

Ben wandered over to the cabinet where he thought the whiskey was, but as soon as he opened it, he found the cabinet empty.

Did he fucking move it?

"It's under the sink." Lou said from behind him.

"What?" Ben turns around surprised.

Lou was still scribbling with her crayon in her sketchpad. "Uncle Legend came in and moved it this morning."

"Thanks." Ben awkwardly makes his way over to the sink, and sure enough behind the mop bucket is a full bottle of whiskey. He busies himself with pouring a glass before he eyes the chair next to Lou wondering if he should sit there.

Ben was nervous, he'd never admit it, but he was. This was his granddaughter, someone that you loved very much. He'd never been around a kid before, didn't have any siblings growing up, and certainly didn't have any relatives with children the way you had.

He liked to think that if he had been there when you were pregnant and when you gave birth to Rosemary he would have gotten used to it gradually. He wasn't sure if he could even be a dad, not after everything that happened with his own.

He was sure that he was going to be a disappointment to Rosemary and even to Lou and-

"Sit with me." Lou says, interrupting his train of thought as she gets off of her chair to pull out the one next to her for Ben tugging with all her strength to pull it out from under the table.

Ben hesitates, but finally smiles at her efforts to get him to sit with her and sits down.

An awkward silence falls over him, he's again unsure what to say, so he takes a sip from his glass and hopes that you'll come in and save him from saying the wrong thing, but given how upset you look standing outside with Rosemary, he's sure that it won't be anytime soon. The urge to go outside and get between Rosemary and you is strong, but just as he begins to move to get out of the chair, Lou interrupts him.

"You make her smile more." Lou says, while grabbing a red crayon with her chubby hand and begins to draw the petals of a flower in her sketchbook, meticulously trying to make them more circular, tongue between her teeth as she concentrates.

"Who?"

"Aunty y/n. She didn't smile as much before." She says it matter of factly.

"Really?"

Lou nods reaching into the box of crayons for a new color. "She tried to act like she wasn't sad, but I think she was. Sometimes when she thought I was asleep I would find her on the couch just sitting there. I think she was lonely. And I tried to give her bigger hugs but they never seem to work. Hugs always make me feel better." Lou sighs.

"I'm sure that your hugs made her feel better." Ben's says tightly. He's not sure how to talk to Lou, isn't sure if he should talk to her like an adult or not.

"I love aunty y/n. I want to be just like her when I grow up. I want to be an artist!"

Ben looks down at the sketchpad on the table beneath Lou’s hands. It was of a giant tree that had different colored flowers all squished together in its branches. Each flower was different than the last, crudely drawn, but under it all Ben could see her potential. It reminded him of the sketchbook pages you first showed him when you were eight and swore him to secrecy, threatening bodily harm if you told anyone else about them.

“You’re very good.” Ben says and Lou beams with pride at her drawing, before flipping to a new page. She holds out a brilliant yellow crayon towards Ben. “Please draw a sun right here.” She taps her finger against the top left of the page before placing the crayon in his hand.

“Oh I don’t think I-“

“You can do it Ben! Aunty y/n says that art doesn’t have to be perfect, that it gets messy sometimes but that makes it fun!” Rosie reaches for a purple crayon and begins to draw stick figures to the right of the page.

Ben had heard you say that before, usually after your mother would sneer or make a comment about your paint stained hands when he’d bring you home from a day at the park. But sitting here listening to Lou say it was different.

Lou reminded him of you as a kid. She wasn't afraid to speak up, to say what she thought, and she was filled with creativity and love.

Ben always admired that about you, that you were able to create things so perfectly and that you always made space in your heart for him, even when he was a complete dick for so long. He wondered if Rosemary was like you too. He could see a bit of it when she told him off, saw how headstrong she was and how ready she was to protect who she loved from him.

Ben hated that Rosemary believed that he would hurt you again, when it all but tore his own heart out to do so the last time.

But he was trying, hoped that she could see that he was trying and hoped that one day she’d let him in. The problem was he wasn’t the most patient person in the world.

He looks down at the crayon in his hand frowning slightly. He wasn’t an artist like you. The only thing that he’d really ever drawn was the naughty doodle that got him kicked out of boarding school, the one that made you laugh so hard you pushed him off the bed when he drew it for you in your sketchbook. You’d tried to show him other ways of drawing and painting but he’d never been interested.

Not to mention he didn’t think it was manly. He didn’t think that a man should have a hobby like this. It should be fishing or hunting or something like that but he looks down at Lou.

Her eyes are shining bright with excitement, smile wide, dimples showing and he doesn’t want to disappoint her, not when she’s been nothing but nice to him since he showed up.

If Hughie or fucking Butcher come in here and see me drawing this fucking sun I’ll-

“You don’t look like your pictures.” Lou hums drawing a smile on the face of the stick figure.

“Huh?” Ben looks up confused.

“The pictures that mommy keeps in the drawer.” Lou says reaching for a black crayon to draw long flowing hair on the stick figure.

“What pictures?”

“Of you and aunty y/n. Mommy has some in her drawer.” Lou acts as if she hadn’t said anything, grabbing a different crayon to draw another stick figure.

“She has pictures of us?”

“Yeah. You don’t have the beard though. And you and aunty y/n are really young.” She pokes his cheek with a chubby finger, making Ben freeze. Lou squints her eyes at him. “You don’t look like the picture that aunty y/n drew either.”

Ben hesitates, eyes slightly widening. “She drew a picture of me?”

“Few days ago.” Lou scribbles. “You didn’t have a beard then either.”

In the new drawings and paintings that Ben had seen back at your apartment, he hadn’t seen any drawings of him, he assumed it was because of everything that happened, but to learn that you did still draw him made him smile.

“You don't like it?” Ben asks, amused.

She shrugs. “It’s okay.”

“Aunt y/n likes it.” He said it more to himself than to Lou. Like hell he was going to shave it off when he saw how much you liked it when he came back. Ben smiles to himself remembering how your heart beat jolted out of your chest whenever he touched you, how your cheeks flushed, how your smooth skin felt beneath his hands-

There were so many little things that Ben missed about you, so many things that he had forgotten, and now he got to learn each one all over again and fall in love with every part of you for the second time in his life.

The sun he drew in the top left of the page was lopsided, but Lou didn't complain, in fact she added a pair of sunglasses to it, and a bright smile that Ben laughed at.

"What are you two doing?" Ben hears your voice say as your hand gently rubs his back. Ben looks up embarrassed. He hadn't wanted to get caught with a crayon in his hand, but at least it had been you and not Butcher.

"We were just-" Ben begins to say, his eyes flicking to where Rosemary stands behind Lou eyes narrowed.

"Mommy look. Ben is helping me color!" Lou crows, picking up her drawing so Rosemary can see.

Ben realizes what Lou was drawing on the other side of the page. Lou has drawn Rosemary and you standing with Lou in between the two of you holding on to her hands. Ben's eyes slide to the last figure in the drawing, his chest suddenly very tight, it's him, standing beside you, frowning, but holding on to your hand.

Rosemary smiles tightly at the page with a sigh. "That's nice sweetie. Come on, let's get you dressed."

"But I like my pajamas."

"Do what your mother says Lou." You smile down at her, stroking her dark hair back from her face.

"Okay." She sighs dramatically and begins to walk out of the room, but Rosemary is still glaring at Ben.

"Rose-" You begin to say, but she interrupts you.

"She might be able to forgive you, but I'm not going to." Her eyes narrow. "I don't think you're good for her."

Ben is still sitting in his chair at the kitchen table, your hand solidly on his back as if you were making the statement that you weren't going to push him away. It solidified something, showed him how much you were willing to sacrifice to keep him in your life, and again enforced just how much you loved him. If Rosemary hadn't been standing there, he would have sat you on the marble countertop and sucked another mark into your neck. The one he left yesterday was already starting to fade and he wanted to replace it as soon as possible.

But he was still angry, angry that Rosemary wouldn't give him a chance. "Your mother means everything to me." Ben says honestly. "I'm not asking you to forgive me. All I'm asking is that you get to know me first before you-"

"I don't want to get to know you." Rosemary says. "And if you hurt my mother again, I’ll make you wish that you stayed in that fucking lab."

She's gone in an instant, making Ben feel a pain in his chest that he hadn't felt since he spoke to his own father decades ago, on those nights when his dad got so drunk that he couldn't stand up straight and the nights that his father's words rang heavy in Ben's ears. Those nights Ben would get drunk, climb up the tree outside your window, and stumble into your bed, curling into you because you were the only thing in his life that he couldn't stand to lose, couldn't stand to disappoint, and the only thing in his shitty life that made him happy.

"Ben-" He hears you say.

"Mhmm?"

"Look at me."

Ben looks up. He doesn't like the worry in your gaze, doesn't like how your own eyes are just a little rimmed red like you were crying.

"I love you." You whisper. "And she's not going to change that."

"Are you sure?" He barely breathes the words, afraid in his soul to admit them to you, to speak them into the universe.

You drop into his lap, putting your forearms on his shoulders.

"Ben." You drag your fingers through his hair, your touch soothing his anxiety. "You know me enough to know that I don't pull punches. If I didn't want you here, I would make sure you weren't." You press a soft kiss to the tip of his nose. "I want you here with me. I don't want you to go ever again. "

They were the words that he wanted you to tell him on the nights he crawled through your bedroom window, the question that he was always afraid to ask. Because he never believed that you could want him even a fraction as much as he wanted you, could love him and want to be with him as much as he wanted to be with you. And yet here you were after all these years after all the shitty things he did accepting him and letting him into your heart.

“Okay.” He leans his forehead against yours for a minute. “What did you talk about?”

“Homelander. And what happened yesterday.” You sigh. “She’s about as thrilled as I thought she’d be with us going after our old team. She was pissed when I told her about Countess the other day but this was worse.” You mutter holding on tight to him. “She’ll get over it. At least… I hope she will.”

“Mhmm.”

“I will say that I’m kind of jealous.”

“About?” Ben is suddenly worried.

What did I do? Did I-

“Every time I tried to get you to draw with me you said no.” Ben watches you frown dramatically. “And here you are with another woman-“

Ben rolls his eyes and shuts you up by closing the distance between your faces. You laugh into his mouth, his tongue finding the rigid edge of your front teeth as you do before you fit your mouth against his and kiss him, your soft lips molding against his in a way that makes a deep seated groan vibrate up through his chest.

“You try saying no to her.” Ben mutters.

“It’s impossible.” You open your eyes to stare at him again, your gaze filled with more love than Ben had ever seen. He’d never seen anyone look at him like that before, none of the other women he’d had in his life had ever looked at him the way you did. And he never wanted you to stop. You looked at him like he was special, treasured, like he was something that you never wanted to stop looking at, like you saw every part of him and refused to turn away.

He'd only seen that once before. He had taken a woman out for drinks, you had been doing an interview that ran late and Ben was trying to pass the time, but at the bar he had seen an older couple sitting in a booth in the corner. Ben couldn't look away from them. They were sitting on the same side of the booth, the man's arm draped over the woman who leaned into him with a wide smile, her gray hair pushed back in an elegant twist, but she looked up at him with such reverence that Ben couldn't help but think of you. When he saw that he left the woman he came with there and went to your apartment, to wait until you got back. And when you had fallen asleep Ben had folded you into his arms and allowed himself to dream that one day you would look at him the same way.

And now years later here you were looking at him as if he was the most precious thing he'd ever seen, the same way you looked at him the morning after your birthday when you told him you loved him.

"But I did tell you that once Lou drew you into the family portrait, you were in." You reach back to pick up the drawing holding it between the two of you so he can see Lou's hard work. "She really captured your frown." You snort, leaning your head against his shoulder while you look at the drawing.

"Shut up." Ben squeezes you, but he can't help but smile at the paper.

And deep down Ben started to believe you when you said that this was his family too, because sitting there with Lou he had felt just as at home as he had with you.

All he had to do was convince Rosemary.

[30 MINUTES AGO] READER POV

I can't believe that she walked in on us IN BED. She's already pissed about me having him here, but why did her finding us together feel like the equivalent of my mother walking in on Ben and me?

You follow behind Rosemary silently, trying not to think of how sad Ben looked when you left him. You would have wanted nothing more than to stay in bed, curled up beside him and make him understand that no matter how much Rosemary wanted you to push him away, you weren't going to leave him.

You could see the fear flashing in his eyes, had seen it last night when he yelled at you. As much as he didn't want to admit it, you knew that Ben was still afraid that you would leave him. And knowing how much you meant to him made you love him even more.

It was a beautiful day. Legend's home was the only one within ten miles, his money well spent to keep himself secluded from the rest of the world. The large trees at the back of his home were tall and strong, their branches curling upward to the sun as if they wished to worship it.

The sunlight was warm on your shoulders, soaking through your t-shirt and sweat pants as you follow behind your daughter, who was obviously trying to get out of earshot of Ben's supe hearing. You didn't want to break it to her that you'd probably have to drive at least a mile away for Ben's hearing to get a little bit fuzzy.

Finally, just as you reach the crest of trees at the back of the lot she stops and turns back to face you.

She's frowning and waits a minute to begin. "I want you to tell me what happened."

"I did-"

"No. You didn't tell me everything and I want to know exactly what happened and why you had to fight Homelander."

You bite the inside of your cheek.

There really wasn't an easy way to sugar coat it or really explain it in a way that Rosemary would understand without getting angry.

She almost went ballistic the other day when I told her that I killed Countess and that was a complete accident. Us going after the Twins was not. Us going after the twins was calculated.

"Okay. Before we talk about that, I want you to understand why-"

"Oh you mean why you and Ben-" She seethes his name. "Were going after your old team? The exact thing that you told me you weren't going to do when you came to tell me about Countess?"

"Yes."

"Fine." She leans back against one of the trees, still frowning. "Go on."

"Ben told me what happened in Nicaragua. What Countess said was true, she seduced him to make me angry." You hold up a hand. "And before you say that Ben said those things to me and did those things of his own free will. I know."

Rosemary still doesn't look pleased.

"They betrayed him in Nicaragua. They attacked him and gave him to the Russian military."

"But why?"

"Honestly I'm not sure. I think it's because Ben used to be wild and impulsive and-"

"Used to be?"

"Just listen." You sigh. "He spent forty years in Russia being tortured and experimented on. They put something in his chest-"

"What did they put in his chest?"

"It's like an energy beam." You were giving her the short version about what the beam really did, because you didn't think that now was the best time to say that it might turn supes human. "But that's why we went to see the Twins, because they betrayed him and when Homelander showed up I had to step in."

Rosemary pinches the bridge of her nose and you can tell that she's trying very hard to not get angry. "So let me get this straight, you went to see the Twins, AS SOME KIND OF FUCKED UP REVENGE FANTASY?"

"Well-"

"No. My turn to talk." She holds up a finger like she's admonishing a toddler. "I can't believe that you can't see what's happening."

"See what?"

"You told me that things were different, that he'd changed but he hasn't! He's still the same angry dick! The only person that's changed is you!"

"What?"

"And you don't fucking see it!" Rosemary shouts. "You facing Homelander, you killing Countess, you going after your old team- it's all him! As soon as you got a whiff of Soldier Boy you started to slip back into the person that you were forty fucking years ago."

"That is ridiculous-"

"No it's not. And it's all him. He is the one making you throw the life away that you have made for yourself. He is the one making you use your powers again! He is the one making you go along with his ridiculous revenge plot-"

"Ben is not making me do anything!"

"He is-"

"You have no idea what that's like for people who say that they're your friends betray you. To have people who you thought trusted you give you up like that. They stabbed him in the back Rosie, and they sent him away to another country to be tortured. Do you have any idea what they did to him there? Our old team deserves everything that is coming to them."

"I don't know who you are anymore."

"I am still the same person I was. I am still me."

"No I don't think you are-"

Your jaw tightens. "Look, I understand that you're upset with this whole situation. With having to be here and with me letting Ben back into my life, but he is my family too."

She bristles when you say the word 'family.'

She has to understand that, to know that Ben is my family, is her family.

"Rosemary, do you have any idea what I would do for you if someone tried to hurt you or Lou the way they hurt Ben? What I would do to them for even trying?" You whisper it, but you can see her expression soften as she considers what you were saying. "You were angry with me because I was going to go to Russia alone. You wanted to protect me. And even all this stuff with Ben, you have been trying to protect me from him because you believe that he's going to hurt me again. How is this any different?"

“It is.”

“Why? Because he’s hurt me?” Your eyes lock with hers. “I’ve hurt you by letting him back in my life. Are you saying that now you wouldn’t protect me? That if I asked you to go with me to Russia right now you wouldn't do it.”

She stands there looking at you for a minute, letting what you've asked hang in the air between the two of you. And you know that deep down she understands the need to protect her family the same way you did.

"No. That's not what I'm saying. You depend so much on him and it's only been three days." She sighs. "Mom you were happy before-“

"No I wasn't." You mutter.

The memories of the last three days with Ben proved that. You hadn't realized just how in the hole you were until he walked back into your life. Until you felt how much you loved him and now understood how much he loved you. Waking up with him, falling asleep with him, spending time with him, seeing his smile, hearing him speak, and feeling him beside you all felt different. She was right, you did feel different. You felt lighter and warmer, like you'd mainlined sunshine, like everything else had been colorless until Ben walked back in.

You understood that now you may have tried to be happy, and you were with Rosemary and Lou, but not anywhere else. Being with Ben felt right.

Rosemary eyes you for a minute and then finally sighs. "I know."

"What?" You weren't expecting her to say that.

"He's been here only three days and you're-" She searches for the word reluctantly. "You're glowing."

"Huh?"

"My entire life I've watched you. I know you. You're my best friend. And I'm not saying that you haven't been happy, but with him you're a different person."

"You've already said that and it's not true. I'm still me-"

"Not about the supe shit." She shakes her head. "The way you look at him, the way you smile, the way whenever he shifts in another direction you do too like somehow you sensed it. And it scares me."

"Why does that scare you?"

"Because if he decides this is all too much and he leaves, I don't want to see the person you become when he does." She frowns and crosses her arms over her chest. "I kinda feel like I've seen that person the last thirty nine years."

"That's ridiculous-"

"You told me about before, told me how you were when he left, I didn't see it, I couldn't imagine it, but now seeing you with him, understanding just how much of a hold he has on your life, understanding how much you love and care for him- mom… I see that the life you made for us, you still weren't you. I'm not sure if you were really completely happy and now seeing you with him, I-"

You place your hands on her cheeks. "Rosie. What happened forty years ago is not your fault. I would not change a single second that I spent with you and Lou. I do not regret the life that I've made with you. I do not regret you. I want you to understand that. The things that happened between me and Ben, even though they were fucked up, does not mean that I don't love you."

"I know that." She whispers, but you're suddenly unsure.

You thought that you'd expressed that to Rosemary enough over the years, that you did not regret having her, that you wouldn't change that decision.

"Rosie please." You hug her, tears burning just behind your eyes. "You are not a mistake. I love you." You pull back to look at her green eyes, the same as Ben's. "And I wouldn't change a single thing about my life. Because maybe I wasn't happy with me, but I was when I was with you and Lou."

"Okay." She pulls back with a sigh.

"I just wish that you'd try to talk to work things out with Ben." You search her face. You told yourself that you weren't going to get involved, but you wanted her to like him. He was her father and he was going to be spending time with you.

"Look I don't want to hate him, and maybe I don't, but it's not your fault." Her expression hardens. "He shouldn't have shouted at you yesterday for that. You didn't make me hate him or make him the villain. It's not your fault." She repeats.

"Maybe it is. I told you all those things about him, I made you focus only on the bad, only on the things that happened towards the end-"

Rosemary takes your hand. "Mom you told me everything. I remember the good things. I remember what your friendship was like. I remember the stories you told me when I was a kid about Ben and you running around Philadelphia."

"Which ones?"

"When he was strong for you when you couldn't be. When he took care of you, when he took you places, when he supported your art. When he made sure that you were happy. I-" She pauses. "I haven't forgotten those."

"Then why-"

"Because they happened before. When Ben was still Ben and not Soldier Boy. I've seen every single film. Watched every interview, commercial, and even those stupid music videos." Rosemary shakes her head as if trying to rid herself of the image.

"You have?"

"Yes. And I saw the person he became."

You knew what that looked like. Ben really did go all out for the cameras when they were rolling, but when it was the two of you he was just him. And the past two days he had shown that person to you all over again, and you knew deep in your heart that you were trusting him again.

"I know that you don't believe me when I say this, but he really is different."

"Sure."

You sigh. You knew that she wouldn't believe you, that she was just so hell-bent on pushing him away that she wouldn't listen to you. But you knew deep down that he was different, and that he was trying. It was enough for you.

Ben was enough. And the fact that he was willing to throw away all the macho bullshit he had spouted in the past, that he was willing to try to change to be the boy you fell in love with, meant everything to you.

You knew that you had probably forgiven him too early, but you wanted to believe him, and you wanted him to be back in your life.

Rosemary echoes your sigh and looks back up towards the house, stamping her foot in frustration. "Did you at least kick his ass?"

"Who? Ben? I told you that I threw him-" You begin to say suddenly confused.

"No." The ends of her lips twitch into a smile. "Homelander."

You laugh. "Yeah. They don't really make heroes the same way these days."

"Good. He probably fucking liked it."

"I wouldn't be too sure of that." You snort remembering the look he gave you when you threw him against the ground. "But it was kind of cathartic to throw him around. I feel a lot better. Maybe you should give it a try." You narrow your eyes at your daughter. "I mean Homelander not Ben."

Rosemary's lips pull into a mischievous smirk, looking more like Ben than she ever has. "I'll keep that in mind."

READER POV

Your heartbeat pounds in your ears, heart racing to catch up as you tug your arms to get them free, but leather restraints hold them in place at your sides. A cold chill seeps up through the metal table you lay on though the thin paper gown that covers your body. Brilliant light from fluorescent square lights above blinds you. And even when you shut them tight the flash of red that stays behind burns through your iris.

Shadows move just on the edge of your vision and you strain your ears to hear them speak, to understand why you're here, why you're strapped to this table, but the only thing that remains is a garbled sound broken only by the rapid ding of a heart monitor.

Where am I? How did I-

A sharp pain deep inside of you makes your breath catch, an uncomfortable sensation between your legs. You try to kick out, but your legs are strapped down, pried apart and bent at the knee. Your pleas for release are slurred as if you've forgotten how to speak.

Someone brings their hand down over your mouth and you bite down, blood and flesh sticking between your teeth and the person strikes your face savagely.

The shadows that pass over where you lay on your back are impossible to bring faces to and their muffled conversations are just out of reach.

And when you open your mouth to scream everything goes black.

"Y/n!" You hear Ben shout as you come to, his hands on your shoulders shaking you from sleep, but you can't move, can't speak still stuck in whatever hell-scape that your mind designed. "Please Sweetheart." He's leaning down over you, eyes wide with fear and anxiety, eyebrows pulled together. "Wake up."

"Ben-" You croak, breath coming in gasps, eyes blinking to focus on him above you.

Ben breathes out a sigh of relief, pulling you up into his arms and tucking your head beneath his chin.

"Ben." You say again, tears falling from your eyes sobs shaking your shoulders, breath coming in gasps as you cling to him, holding on to him so tight you think you hear his back crack.

“Shhh. It’s alright Sweetheart, I’m here. I’m right here.” Ben murmurs into the top of your head, rubbing his hand down your spine.

It wasn’t the first time you’d had the nightmare, but it was the first time you’d had it in forty years. It had started a few years before Ben had been taken. You don’t know why, but you always assumed that it was stress of being a hero or your heartache over Ben refusing to see you as more than a friend, that finally you cracked. But you didn't know why that particular scenario. The only time that you'd seen something remotely similar was the day that you received your injection of Compound V and you figured maybe your mind created the dream to haunt you.

And now it’s back because I’m stressed about all this shit with Homelander.

You inhale the familiar scent of Ben’s cologne, tears soaking into the front of his black shirt, but it does little to calm your heartbeat. You sob again, arms wrapped around his neck holding him tighter to you as you shudder.

“It’s alright. I’m right here.” Ben says again. His hand trails gently down your spine up and down in a soothing motion to calm you down.

He’d comforted you before after the same nightmare, he knew exactly what you saw each time, but he also was confused as to why you saw it. In his arms you felt safe, as if no one else could touch you or pull you away. You wondered if Ben felt the same way when you held him.

“Shh.” He presses a kiss to the top of your head, pushing back the strands of hair that clung to your sweaty forehead.

You shudder again, sweat sticking your shirt to your back, but your heartbeat begins to slow as you take in another breath.

“Same dream?” Ben whispers.

“Yeah.” You breathe. “I haven’t had it since you were-“ You choke on the words again as the images from what you saw come back. The mumbled voices of the figures fading in and out of your ears.

“Did you ever figure out what it was?”

“No. I-“ You inhale. “I don’t know. I-“

Your body shakes again as you cling to Ben, trying to forget the dream that never seemed to go away. “I don’t know.”

READER POV

In the days that followed Butcher and Hughie looked for Mindstorm's last known location, and Rosemary tried to stay as far away from Ben as she could, which wasn't too far because she refused to leave Lou alone with him. And Lou kept wanting to do more and more with Ben.

But you didn't mind that, because it meant that Rosemary got to sit front row to Ben trying to get more comfortable around Lou.

And try he was. He sat with her each day while she drew after breakfast, watched you and her paint side by side on Legend's back porch, waited patiently while you braided Lou's hair back from her face, and even indulged her in the occasional game of Go Fish that Ben always seemed to lose. But he didn't mind or at least not that you could tell.

"I understand that you all have this kind of fucked up fantasy when you go after Mindstorm," Rosemary sighed leaning back on Legend's dark brown leather couch with a beer in her hand. "But I still don't see how this is going to help us with Homelander."

Butcher shrugs taking a sip from his own beer bottle, brooding in the chair across from her. Hughie mirrors the shrug and reaches for the last slice of pizza in the ornate glass coffee table in front of the couch.

You were sitting on the couch beside her, your legs folded up underneath you with a mug full of scotch clutched between your hands, while Ben stretched out beside you nursing his own glass of whiskey.

In all the years that you had known Legend, there never seemed to be a shortage of booze. Ben respected that.

Lou was sleeping soundly upstairs, you kept checking on her every few minutes with your supe hearing, but so far she hadn't woken up.

"Because those two wanted us to go after their old team first." Butcher gestures to Ben and you with his bottle.

"At least we don't have a hard-on for Homelander." Ben frowns. "Can't tell if you want me to kill him or if you want to fuck him."

"Ben-" You sigh.

You had tried not to think about Homelander over the past few days, but it was unavoidable. You bite the inside of your cheek remembering what it was like to fight him, what it was like to hold him by the throat and stare into his nearly black eyes.

He had been pissed. You knew that, but you hadn't expected to feel so weird when you looked at him. You remember his blonde hair, the sharp smell of hair dye, the strong cut of his jaw-

Your thumb rubs the side of the mug you're holding. There was something else about him though, something that you couldn't place, something that when you looked at him you felt that you had forgotten something. Something important that nagged and tugged at the back of your mind.

But what? I've seen him before, at least not in person, and definitely not that close. Only in those pathetic interviews on T.V, on those stupid energy drinks…

You think again about the grip you had on his throat, remember the angular planes of his face.

"That doesn't fucking help." Rosemary rolls her eyes and you look up at your daughter.

She really does act like Ben even if he wasn't around through her childhood.

You think to yourself, your eyes tracing her face, looking at the soft dusting of cinnamon colored freckles over her cheeks that she usually hid under makeup and the nose that always reminded you of your father.

You think about Homelander again. But what did I forget? What about him made me-

Your entire body freezes as you stare at Rosemary's face, the face that you'd looked at for the past forty years.

No. That's impossible-

You can't breathe, can't think. Something cold clamps over your heart the chill soaking into your bones like you've sunk into deep water. All other sounds in the room fade into a muddled haze as you sit there and stare at her, eyes widening, heartbeat beginning to thud loudly in your ears.

Oh. My. Fucking. G-

The mug shatters in your hand, glass and alcohol going everywhere, but you don't feel anything. Only the sense of dread, and the chill that spreads with the coming storm and the understanding of what it is you've forgotten.

And you hoped to God that you were wrong.

A/N: I'M BACK BABY! Honestly after a week off I am doing alot better. Thank you everyone for the love and support. I hope y'all liked this chapter. It's moving the story right on along and the next chapter is going to be BIG and BLOODY. But we'll make it through.

As always thank you so much for reading! If you'd like to be added to the taglist or if you are already apart of the taglist and it didn't notify you, please let me know! :)

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shurisasthmaticgf · 4 months ago

Text

wait a damn minute: max verstappen x black fem! reader

summary: in the midst of the biggest worldwide IT outage you realize your name has come up at the worst time possible

author's note: i wrote this on friday when the entire thing happened, i thought i posted it but turns out it was camped out in my drafts still. this is my first max fic so i hope it's an enjoyable read! feedback and comments are always appreciated and highly encouraged, i like to know what you all think of my work!

warnings: google translated dutch

the hungarian grand prix was only days away and you couldn't wait to surprise your boyfriend with a visit. it killed you to miss his races but you'd recently been promoted to a new position in your company which required more days in office than remote. you'd managed to balance work and personal life pretty well but when you weren't missing due to your new job, you had something else happen last minute. finally, after weeks of working long hours on end in an office, you were in the clear to start remote working more frequently.

you managed to clock out of work right on time so the minute the clock hit 6:00 pm, you were logging out and grabbing your already packed bag. one of your coworkers passed by you in the elevator, he was the only one around your age in the entire department so immediately you both clicked. he lightly bumped you with his shoulder and commented, "three side profiles and a headshot or selfie." you furrowed your brows in confusion and he clarified, "photo requests for my husband of course." the two of you burst into laughter as you teased, "was the autographed photocard not enough for you, théo? i even decorated it and put it in a holder for your desk." the young man smiled fondly thinking of the small 3x4 inch card that sat on the corner of his main monitor. he brushed one of his locs from his face and dramatically sighed, "fine i won't be pushy...i only want the selfie." you shook your head and refused with a chuckle, "i'm not asking toto wolff for a selfie, théo." your coworker let out a fake sigh of disappointment and lightly pushed you in the other direction as you parted ways to your cars. you laughed and called out, "i'll see what i can do, no promises though!" his face lit up and he blew your air kisses before calling out a goodnight.

‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

just thinking about seeing your boyfriend racing again brought butterflies to your stomach. although he was doing well this season a few problems had cost him a few wins here and there. fans had jokingly mentioned that you not being at races was the cause of the missed first place wins because coincidentally, every race you've ever attended, max has won exactly that. for weeks fans have asked about your whereabouts and you'd practically ghosted them simply because you were working so much. you were known as one of the more down to earth f1 WAGs who had no problem interacting with fans in person and over social media. so you suddenly not showing up for max and not interacting with people online made them wonder what was going on with you during the past few weeks. now that work had chilled out, you were happy to be back online again, and even happier to be able to make it out to hungary this weekend.

the moment you stepped into your apartment you made a beeline for your bedroom to change out of your professional clothes. you snatched a pair of scissors, a spray bottle, conditioner, a towel, a comb, and a crumpled up paper bag and cozied up on the couch with shrek queued on the tv. you sprayed your head with the warm water in the bottle and spread a glob of conditioner all over the roots of your hair. you pulled one of your braids forward and snipped the end before unraveling it and picking out whatever knots formed in the 6 weeks your hair had been tucked away. thankfully this time it didn’t take too long to get your braids out, only 3 hours compared to the usual 5 when you didn’t have your boyfriend’s help.

right as the last strands of synthetic hair slipped out of your own curls, your phone rang the familiar tune and a picture of your boyfriend flashed on your screen. a warm smile spread across your face as his camera turned on to show face. you braided you hair on each side to get it out of your face as you spoke, “hi my love how was your day?” he rolled over to his side and grumbled sleepily, “long, usual press day so you know how that goes.” you frowned slightly, “i wish i was there with you today.” max hummed and admitted, “i do as well. but your work is more important so i can deal with this.” you watched as his eyes lingered on your face and you giggled while moving out of the frame shyly, “stop looking at me like that.” although it was dimly lit in hotel room you could see the light pink tint to his cheeks as he smiled, “i can’t admire my lovely girlfriend?” he yawned mid sentence and you insisted, “as much as i love talking to you i know you’re tired and you need to go to sleep. so i’ll talk to you tomorrow, yeah?” he sleepily agreed and murmured, “welterusten mijn liefste.” you blew him a kiss and whispered softly, "goodnight baby." [goodnight, my love]

instead of heading straight to sleep you chose to wash your hair rather than waiting until the morning to do so. the flight you managed to snag last minute to hungary was set for tomorrow evening and you hadn't packed anything. not wanting to get onto a plane with a damp head of coils, you decided to just deal with it tonight. the entire process didn't take as long since you were speeding through just so you could sleep. by the time you were done it was around 2 AM and you were more than happy with the results. a dozen thick twists hung past your shoulders until you wrapped them up into a scarf and covered them with your bonnet to head to bed.

‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

when you woke up in the morning you noticed your phone had over 50 missed calls, messages, and emails. your mind conjured up the worst possible thoughts as you called your boyfriend to see what was the matter. max answered on the first few rings and you anxiously stammered, "baby? maxie? what's going on are you okay? where are you?" on the other line max answered clearly confused on what you were talking about, "schat? i am fine, i'm heading to the track. nothing is wrong here, what are you talking about?" you started to calm down realizing that he was fine but you responded, "i thought- didn't you blow up my phone early this morning? i was worried something happened and-" your boyfriend interjected with a calm tone, "y/n, i promise you nothing is the matter-"

an incoming call from théo, your coworker cut max off and you spoke up, "i'm sorry i think it's work related because théo is calling me." max let out an annoyed sound and you laughed, "i don't get why you don't like him." max scoffed, "he is too touchy and handsy with you." there was a playful groan, "oh god here you go- max, we've been over this. théo is a 27 year old gay man from san francisco who's convinced he's princess diana's reincarnate. he's the least of your worries okay?" max conceded, "okay fine i guess...but i still have my eye on him." another call from théo interrupted your conversation and you added, "but he's blowing up my phone so i need to see what's wrong. i'll talk to you later okay?" max agreed and bid you goodbye before hanging up the phone.

meanwhile you answered théo's call and he was literally running through what looked like the parking garage of his high rise. he panted, "you- you nee-...oh god i'm out of shape- you need to get up right now.. i'll be there to pick you up in fifteen minutes so be ready downstairs." you looked around confused and your coworker/ friend explained, "there's some massive outage or something happening. i know we had off today but they're calling the entire office in to see if we can figure it out." you were already climbing out of bed and you pressed for more information, "what do you mean an outage?" théo shrugged and wiped sweat from his brow as he tried to make himself look less winded, "i dunno i was thinking a breach or something? whatever it is we'll find out but we gotta go right now babes." you hurriedly grabbed an outfit from your closet and started to get dressed and ready to go, keeping him on the line.

‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

when you finally managed to get to his car, théo pointed to your phone and told you, "check twitter too, the fans are making jokes that you did something to the platform." despite having no idea what the hell he was talking about you opened twitter to see the flood of tweets under your name on the trending topics list. a pit formed in your stomach and you nearly fainted when you realized what he was talking about. you were completely new to this job and panic coursed through your veins on the thought of losing everything you worked hard for. the look of panic drew a laugh from your best friend and coworker as he jested, "they're funny aren't they?!" you shook your head and nearly shouted, "no it's not i'm gonna get fired!" théo waved off your concern, "girl the issue is definitely not from you and nobody thinks so. besides, dante from marketing and eleni from HR were sending the funny ones to our group chat...not that this isn't serious but just to make light of a shitty situation you know?" you shifted in your seat unsure how to feel and he promised, "i guarantee it's fine."

when you actually got to work with théo you were pulled into a meeting where you all were briefed about the situation. they clarified that they knew it was an issue with an update that was sent out early in the morning. after the meeting your boss told you that he knew you weren't supposed to be working today but you did need to stay and potentially over the weekend as well to help your team mitigate the issue as much as you all could. despite it being a global issue and not directly an issue from the monaco office, you knew that he meant he needed you there to help deploy the solution when it came through. he let you have a fifteen minute break to rearrange your travel plans and make the cancellations you needed before having you start work.

‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

the work day ended later than usual, the later hours were spent at your home office while you were on meetings with other people on your team. luckily you were able to catch up with the results of max's first and second practice sessions through peeking at live updates while you worked. when you got the okay to clock out, you nearly fell asleep on your desk but waking back up when your boyfriend's ringtone jump scared you.

you kept your head on the desk as you opened the video call, "hey you." max's features softened when he noticed the look of exhaustion on your face, "it was that bad huh?" you gave a silent thumbs up and sighed, "i wish it didn't happen...i was so excited to come surprise you and finally be there to see you again. i'm sorry i can't make it work." max rushed to your defense, "er zijn nog genoeg andere races over in het seizoen, je kunt in plaats daarvan naar die races komen kijken." you let out an annoyed groan, "i know but i wanted to be there this time. now you'll have bad luck." max chuckled at the mention of the running joke of you being his lucky charm, "it's alright. don't worry your pretty little head about me. now come on let's go to sleep, i know you're tired." you shuffled your feet against your bedroom floor as you took your phone with you to get ready for the night. [there are plenty of other races left in the season, you can come and watch those races instead.]

as you lay in bed with your lights off max asked, "did you see they asked me about you today?" you hummed a soft, "nuh uh." he smiled at the memory and explained, "i was in an interview and they mentioned that your name was trending on twitter and asked if i saw it. i only saw that your name was trending but i didn't see what for so they told me fans made jokes that you crashed the mercedes, mclaren, and williams servers so that i could win this weekend." a sleepy smile crossed your lips and you asked, "what'd you say?" he turned over in his bed and answered, "i told them it wasn't you because you don't make mistakes in your work. you're too good at what you do. also that you aren't the one that sends out the updates so people don't need to use your name in a bad light." you grinned wider already knowing what he was going to say, "and how did that go over?" max let out an sigh and small chuckle, "the guys have been making fun of me all night for it." you let out the loudest laugh max has heard from you in weeks making him somewhat more fine with getting teased by his friends.

your laughter subsided and you told him, "tell me about something interesting." max thought for a moment then started rambling on about the geologic history of the netherlands, watching as your eyes started to droop with the passing minutes. falling asleep with your boyfriend still on the phone became a habit especially in the early days of you dating. but now you were spending more time with him that occurrences like this just started happening once more, leaving you missing his presence at night. as for now, this was the best you could get.

‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

the end.

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janeyseymour · 9 months ago

Text

Love Thy Neighbor- pt 6

Part 1. Part 2. Part 3. Part 4. Part 5.

Summary: Ellie's sick. Cue Melissa to jump in to help.

WC: ~2.7k

Over the past few months, the way that the redhead has made herself present in your life has only gotten stronger. She’s with you in the morning for breakfast, during the drive to and from school, she shows up when you need help with school work, there when you just need some adult time. She’s there for Ellie when she needs help with homework, wants to cuddle but you’re busy, there when she’s excited or sleepy, has had a nightmare and she’s with you on the couch, shows up when her dance class has a parent night… she’s just there. She always is.

But you still don’t want to ruin what you have going on. Life is easy and nice right now with her… if you two decide to date and it falls apart, she’s gone. Or you’re gone. You suppose that if it were all to go up in flames, this is her apartment complex, Abbott is her school, the coworkers that you’ve become friendly with are hers. The only thing that you would get out of a breakup with the redhead is your daughter. And even then, you’re fairly certain at this point that Ellie would be more devastated about not seeing Melissa than she is about the absence of her father. So you haven’t done anything about it yet.

But that’s about to change… not that you know it.

Ellie’s been sniffling a lot lately, but you’ve just contributed it to the fact that the seasons are changing, you have allergies, her father has allergies… so naturally she should have inherited your seasonal allergies. You don’t realize that she’s picked up what seems to be making its way through Barbara’s classroom.

Your daughter is currently putting up the biggest fight of her life. She does not want to go to school, which is so unusual for her. She’s flat out refusing to eat the breakfast that Melissa made, she’s sticking her nose up at every sweater for her to put over her uniform that you try to show her, and she bursts into tears when you tell her that she can’t bring her stuffy to school with her because it isn’t a stuffy day.

“Elizabeth,” you sigh. You’re slowly starting to lose your patience. “Come on. We have to go to school today.”

“Why?! Other kids are not coming in because they’re sick!”

“Because you aren’t sick, baby,” you tell her as you pinch the bridge of your nose. “Now please. We have to be out the door in ten minutes, and Momma isn’t ready for school yet.” You suppose you’ll have to do your makeup in the car while your neighbor drives in to the school.

“I don’t feel good though,” she whines.

At that, you soften. You place the back of your hand on her forehead, cheeks, and the back of her neck. She’s a little warm, but it’s nothing to be worried over.

“I’m sorry, lovey,” you sigh. “You just have to make it through today, and then when we get home tonight, we can cuddle.”

As you’re leaving the house, you throw a few tylenol in your bag for Ellie if she needs it throughout the day.

The girl clings to Melissa as soon as she’s back in your apartment, and the redhead does everything she can to try to get Ellie to smile- it doesn’t work. She just lays her head on the woman’s shoulder and sighs heavily.

You’re able to get your daughter into the school, and by then her cheeks are a little flushed. But she did fall asleep during the short car ride over, so you think that the red on her right cheek is from where her seatbelt was.

Ellie stays in Melissa’s lap during the morning news, and when it’s time for her to go with Barbara down to the classroom, the water works start again.

Melissa hands your daughter over to her kindergarten teacher with a shrug. You kiss Ellie’s temple gently, telling her to have a good day, before you and the redhead are making your way down to your wing.

“What’s got pipsqueak so upset today?” your colleague asks quietly.

You bite your lip. “She isn’t feeling well I don’t think.”

She frowns. “Poor thing. Shouldn’t she be home? Or with your parents resting?”

“My parents are galavanting around Europe right now,” you huff. “Or she would be.”

“You could’ve taken off today to keep her home.”

You roll your eyes. “We are so short on subs lately, and I don’t need to have Mr. Johnson as my sub if I can help it.”

“Fair point,” Melissa chuckles. “Last time he was my sub, the kids came in the next day telling me all about the fourth dimension.”

It’s only about 9:30 when your classroom phone rings. It’s Barbara, so you tell your kids to work on the next math problem before answering it.

“Ellie still hasn’t calmed down,” the kindergarten teacher tells you quickly. “I’m not quite sure what else to do. I gave her stickers, I gave her hugs, I told her she could hold one of my stuffed animals…”

“I’m so sorry Barb,” you apologize.

“She should be home, Y/N,” the woman tells you sternly.

You breathe out. “I know… but I don’t have sub plans or a sub, and my parents aren’t around to come pick her up.”

“What am I supposed to do?”

“Maybe just send her down to the nurse so she can sleep on the cots?” you suggest. “I’ll call down and tell them the situation.”

The veteran teacher agrees and hangs up. You dial the nurse and beg her to let Ellie stay down there for the day while you teach. She begrudgingly agrees after you promise you’ll make her a key lime pie as payment.

Your prep comes faster than you really expect it to, and you line your kids up to take them down to the music room as Melissa is lining her kids up to take her class to gym.

“I can come to your room once I drop them,” the redhead tells you.

“You can, but I won’t be there,” you sigh as you fall into step with her. “I have to head down to the nurse’s office.”

“Ellie still isn’t feeling well?”

The two of you head into the nurse’s office, and the woman behind her desk doesn’t look very pleased with you. Ellie is laying on one of the cots crying.

“Oh, sweetness.” Your heart breaks at her little sniffles. As you pull her into your arms, you immediately feel how hot she is, but she’s trembling as if she’s standing out in the snow without her winter coat on.

“Momma,” she cries. “I’m so chilly!”

You immediately take your sweater off and drape it around her, pulling it tightly to her body. It seems to help, but she’s still cold despite the sweat forming around her brow.

“Kid’s been crying since she got here,” the nurse tells you. “Fever of 101. She should not be here.”

“I know, I know,” you mutter. “I’m sorry.”

“I’ll make you a meatloaf as payment for having her down here,” Melissa tells the woman as she too shrugs off her blazer and gives it to your daughter.

“Miss Mel,” your daughter reaches for the redhead immediately.

“I’m here, sweetheart,” the second grade teacher says softly, but doesn’t take your daughter out of your arms. Ellie squirms, and while you try to fight the hurt on your face, it doesn’t quite work. “Stay with your momma, hun.”

“But I want you,” your daughter mumbles as a tear falls down her face. You hand her over.

“I should probably get some work done anyway,” you shrug. You start to head out of the nurse’s office, but the redhead follows.

“I thought we were going to work on your lesson plans,” she says softly, Ellie on her hip.

You shrug. “I can always get some other stuff done.”

The two of you work quietly in your room, Ellie clinging to the redhead and falling asleep rather quickly.

Your preps are over far sooner than desired, but such is life. When you look up from your teacher’s manual, Ellie is fast asleep in Melissa’s lap.

“Shit.”

“She’s fine,” the second grade teacher promises. She stands and starts to make her way down towards the gym.

You chase after her. “Mel, she has to go back to-”

“I can teach with her,” the redhead tells you. “It’ll probably keep my kids in line better than they would be if I wasn’t holding a small, sick child anyway.”

“I can’t ask you to do that,” you argue back.

She waves you off. “You didn’t, I’m just doing it. And if it becomes too much, she can lay on my carpet with the bean bag and sleep there.”

“You’re going to get-”

“I’ve been teaching for years now,” she laughs. “My immune system is made of steel at this point. Don’t even worry about me. Just go get your kids and teach. We’ll see you at lunch.”

You watch as she makes her way down to the gym, Elizabeth in her arms and snoring softly. You see her press a delicate kiss to the girl’s sweaty hairline before smiling at her gently. The eyes that she’s looking at your daughter with are full of love and no selfishness in the slightest. If you weren’t sure before, you are now. Melissa is worth all of the risks in the world. You turn on your heel to pick up your kids from the music room.

Come lunch time, the redhead still has your daughter on her hip, and your heart swoons at the sight. The badass, mob-like teacher is just so soft and gentle with your little girl. Ellie is awake now, but she keeps her head resting in the crook of Melissa’s neck. As the two of you walk your kids to the lunchroom, Ellie waves at you sleepily.

“No sleeping again yet,” Melissa tuts quietly. “We have to make sure your belly is full and you drink some water before you nap again.”

“Mhmm,” your girl hums out sleepily.

Ellie spends the entirety of your lunch period wrapped up in your sweater and Melissa’s blazer curled up in your lap. You just barely get her to eat, but when Melissa attempts to get her to eat, she does so easily.

The rest of your friend group spends the period quietly, watching as the redhead handles your daughter with such a maternal warmth that they’ve never quite seen from her before. And when Ellie falls back asleep in your hold from your gentle rocking her, they fall silent at the steely gaze Melissa gives them.

Ellie lets out a small whine for the redhead when you stand to pick your kids back up, and Melissa just takes her back into her arms with a wave of the hand.

“Pipsqueak’s been a good human heater for me,” she chuckles before glancing at your daughter. “Isn’t that right?”

The six year old nods into her shoulder before turning her head and blowing you a tired kiss.

“Only a couple more hours, and then you can curl up at home with your momma, okay hun?” she tries to assure the little girl.

“And you?”

“And me, if you want.”

“Yes, please,” Ellie requests softly.

At the end of the day, you make your way outside to help monitor dismissal alongside your neighbor. Ellie is still in her arms and fast asleep. She’s been asleep on the redhead for quite some time if the rather large wet spot on Melissa’s shoulder is any indication.

“My poor little girl,” you sigh as you brush a few hairs away from your daughter’s face. You kiss her head gently.

“She’s been out for a while,” Melissa tells you quietly. “But let me tell you, my kids have never been more well behaved.”

“You’ve been holding her since lunch?!”

“I tried to set her down on the carpet, and she stayed there for about five minutes before coming back over to me and begging me to hold her because she was cold. I just taught from my desk.”

“You could’ve sent her over to me,” you tell your coworker.

She shrugs. “I didn’t mind having the little one with me.”

Ellie stays asleep throughout dismissal and the drive home. When Melissa pulls into the parking garage at your complex, you grab your things and collect your daughter before turning back to walk in with the redhead. She’s still in the driver’s seat though.

“Go in. I have to run to the grocery store if I’m going to make my Nonna’s chicken noodle soup for the two of you.”

“I can make-”

“Trust me when I tell you this stuff will have El healed in no time flat, and you’re going to want it for when you get sick too,” your neighbor tells you. “I’ll be over once I’m back.”

You head in and settle yourself on the couch. Ellie lays on top of you, fast asleep and shivering. You kiss her forehead before reaching for the remote to turn on the television. There’s no way you’re going to get any work done tonight- you have to step up and be the mother for your daughter you always promised you would be.

The little girl only stirs when there’s a gentle knock on your front door, followed by the redhead stepping into your house and heading for the kitchen.

“Miss Mel?” she asks quietly.

“Yeah, baby,” you whisper back. “She’s making you soup so you can feel better.”

“I love Miss Mel,” she sighs quietly as she cuddles back into your hold.

You smile. “I do too.”

The woman brings three bowls of soup into the living room, along with two mugs of hot tea and some juice for Ellie, before settling on the couch next to you. The soup is amazing- not that you expected anything else.

When dinner is over, you give your daughter a bit of cold medicine, hoping she’ll feel better in the morning. She demands cuddles from both you and Melissa, but she’s quick to fall back asleep once she’s situated between the two of you. That leaves you and the redhead to chat about your days and have a bit of adult time. You know that you want to approach the situation at hand- the obvious feelings that she has for you and the feelings that you have for her.

“Why are you doing all this?” you finally ask.

“Doing what?” she raises a brow.

You gesture broadly. “All of this: helping us adjust to a new life, being here for Ellie, helping me get a job and then mentoring me, cooking us dinner… for heaven’s sake, you’re taking care of my child while she’s sick.”

“Why wouldn’t I?” she shrugs.

At that, you sigh. “Because I kind of expected to you hate me and stop coming over after I told you that us might never happen.”

“I could never hate you. I’d rather have you as a friend in my life than nothing at all,” she says softly as she places a hand over your own. “Besides,” she chuckles. “It’d be pretty awkward seeing each other at work and when we’re running in and out of the apartment if we stopped talking.”

You laugh softly. “Yeah.”

“And I think Ellie and I are something of kindred spirits,” the redhead says as she looks down at your slumbering daughter. “I couldn’t just leave her high and dry.”

You smile. “She’s a special one.”

“She is.”

“So are you,” you look at her with a soft gaze.

She rolls her eyes playfully. “I ain’t nothin’ special, hun.”

“You are,” you whisper as you squeeze her hand in your own. “So special.”

She rolls those striking green eyes again and turns her attention back to the television.

“Hey.” Melissa looks back to you, and you squeeze her hand again. “Special enough for me to throw caution to the wind and do this.” You press your lips to hers softly.

#melissa schemmenti fanfiction #melissa schemmenti fanfic #melissa schemmenti x you #melissa schemmenti x reader #melissa schemmenti #abbott elementary fanfic #abbott elementary fanfiction #abbott elementary

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djarinterstellar · 2 years ago

Text

Safe Place

Pairing: Din Djarin x fem!Reader

Summary: What starts as a night off alone escalates into some trouble in town. Luckily, when you’re employed by one of the fiercest warriors in the galaxy, backup is never too far away.

Tags/Warnings: category is- MUTUAL PINING[!!] they just don’t know it. mostly comfort/fluff. some violence in the beginning + 1 minor injury. mentions of alcohol and spice (cannabis) use. Reader is fadeddd most of the plot lmao. Protective/Soft Din 🥰 mentions of Force-sensitive Reader. also no Grogu today, it’s past his bedtime :(

Word Count: 8.6k

a/n: not me posting this on the cusp of season 3 finally premiering 💀 also this was supposed to be shorter but honestly, this thing got so out of hand so fast, idek why it drags on for as long as it does. but i was inspired by this very stoned prompt i thought of months ago with my favorite tin can babygirl and decided to finally finish it so. here we go. ✨

ps: i’m still trying out the 3rd person pov thing so lemme know if you hate it or not. also to settle any confusion amid the new szn, this takes place between s1 and 2 :)

Translation: Sen’ika = little bird

It’s supposed to be an easy night.

Mando is on a hunt and she’s been left in charge in his absence. Normally she would’ve argued coming along and you know, making herself useful as she’d originally agreed upon. But the Crest could only land so close and the additional foot travel was too long and treacherous for the Child to follow along. Plus Red trusted her enough to leave her alone with his foundling without making off with his ship and she had no other choice but to agree.

A few days had passed now since he’d departed. He estimated he’d return in about a week, so she was in no rush in waiting for him. Mando had settled them on the outskirts of town, far enough where they could lay low in peace but still close enough for her to make any emergency supply runs in town. She was left with everything she needed to care for the kid. And with specific instructions not to leave the Crest unless it was absolutely necessary.

Which is exactly what she decided to categorize this as.

The pair of double doors leading into the local cantina burst open and she stumbles back out into the streets, giggling to herself as she cradles a pair of warm cider bottles to-go in her pouch. She hadn’t planned on lingering at the bar but three drinks and a pair of shots with a group of local girls later, plans were changed. She was even invited out back to share a round of their spice joint, a generous offer she simply couldn’t refuse. She was now blissfully intoxicated and felt lighter and happier than she’d been in weeks.

The kid had finally settled in earlier and if his recent patterns served her correctly, he’d be down for the rest of the night. She was finally alone, a privilege she found extremely rare these days since joining Mando’s crew, which gave her ample time to wander into town. Was it responsible of her to leave the Crest and the kid alone? Most would argue it wasn’t, Red most of all. But he wasn’t here to say no! Plus, she had locked the ship down to keep the kid inside and protected from any potential stragglers. All goes well, she would be in and out before he woke up.

And she was confident about this because she’d already gone out just last night. Sure, she hadn’t been out this long, but again, Mando wasn’t expected anytime soon.

She liked exploring towns. It gave her a reason to not only scope out her environment, but to familiarize herself with the locals and figure out which spots in town were traveler-friendly. It was easy to wander when she was on her own, but now that she was a full-time employee, it had become somewhat of a rare treat.

It was week’s end for these particular folks, which meant most of them were out in droves tonight. She could still hear the fits of laughter and drunken serenades belting out of the cantina behind her as she walked away. The air was far cooler at night and the refreshing taste of it in her lungs gave her cloudy head the clearance it needed.

She was delightfully drunk and probably just as high, but she was conscious enough to know she needed to get back. Leaving the kid alone for a couple of hours was fine, but stretching it out any longer than that was far too much of a risk. Live music was playing somewhere from around the corner, locals dashing around her as they hopped from one cantina to another.

The energy buzzed around her like an electric current, yet she walked with a familiar ease. She felt oddly safe within the center of town. But as she drifted further into the outskirts, the street lamps dulled and the crowds thinned out. A pair of fraternal moons became her guiding light as she willed herself to remember the path back to the Crest.

And for a while, it was fine. Despite the silence, she couldn’t help but feel a bit more on edge out here alone than when she was surrounded by a bunch of drunk miners. She ignored it though, trying to tell herself it was probably the spice making her antsy. But the farther she walked, the longer her paranoia festered and itched and scratched until she realized it wasn’t the libations talking to her.

It was the Force.

She realized too late she was being followed until just before she was confronted. A Balosar male slinks out from an alleyway behind her, long and slim with his hands stuffed in the pockets of his oversized coat. She wills herself to keep her eyes straight ahead but she could hear him glide over to her side to match her stride.

“Where ya goin’ sugar? The party’s that way!” he drawled, sending an immediate chill up her spine. Shit.

“I know where I’m going,” She doesn’t look at him as she attempts to brush past him. “Have a good night.”

He reacts by slipping around her once more, this time blocking her path directly ahead. “Whoa whoa, take it easy!” His accent is thick and laced in what she can only describe as mock-innocence. “Relaax, nobody’s gettin’ hurt here!”

Her facial expressions remain unmoved, glancing up at him boredly. In reality though, her heart was hammering against her ribcage. The last thing she needed, especially right now, was unwanted attention from anybody, let alone from this total stranger. She moves to step forward but he cuts in her way, a sly grin stretching across his face.

“It’s okay baby,” Her stomach internally caved in at the pet name. “just tryna find where the cool people hang out.”

“Wouldn’t know where to point you to.” she replies flatly, straightening her back. “Excuse me.”

She attempts to move around him again, but his arm comes up to lay on the wall next to her and he leans forward to cave her in. “Where’re you from then? I’ve never seen anyone this pretty so far out here.” His free hand inches towards her face but she’s quick to turn her cheek, her jaw clenching behind her lips.

“And you never will.” she snaps back, already inching backwards.

This only prompts him to step closer, a frown crossing his slimy face. “Ey, you don’t have to be a bitch.” His tone switches almost predictably and her hand slips behind her cloak to reach for her holster.

“Back off.” she snarls him a warning with the coldest glare she can make.

He tries reclosing the gap between them again. “C’monn honey- ”

“NO.” Her fight-or-flight instinct kicks in and she fully pushes her weight on him to shove him down. Her stand off is cut short though when he finds his balance and pushes back. She’s thrown back against the wall and before she can even process it, a pocket knife is jabbed against the skin of her neck.

Shadows move over his shoulder in her peripheral vision and when she follows them, 3 more Balosars creep out of the dark, hovering behind the first one in a sort of half circle around her.

It’s at this moment that she realizes 2 distinct things. Firstly, she doesn’t recognize them. In her 4 or so days since they touched down, she’d observed the villagers in her down time and gathered a very broad consensus of who was who— and in that time, she hadn't seen any Balosars in this town, which told her they were also just passing by. Secondly, she thinks as she watches the other 3 close in, she’s tangled herself in a very complicated web here. It was 4 against 1, with a notable size difference amongst all of them. She couldn’t see straight, was hilariously underprepared for a fight given the company she was currently keeping, she was fucked up and only growing more inebriated as her vices soaked into her bloodstream, and she was alone. No baby, no bar friends, no civilian witnesses.

No Mando.

Fuck.

A strangled little noise escapes her throat when the knife is pinched further into her skin and she curses herself at how whimpered it comes out.

“Fine, since you wanna do this the hard way..” the first Bathosar sneers almost mockingly, his frame towering over her own.

She’s curling into the overcast of her cloak when her fingers finally find the handle of her blaster, skin digging tightly into the cool of the metal. She looks into his eyes and sucks in a deep breath before the tension snaps.

Fuck it.

In an instant, a shot zaps out, aimed directly at his foot. He cries out when it makes contact, and she smashes her blaster across his temple when he folds over in distracted pain, his knife clattering to the ground. Despite her inebriation, she can sense the others jumping into action and she points her gun at the closest one, shooting him right in his chest before he can get any closer. She doesn’t have time to watch his body crumple to the floor as she turns to shoot at the other two, a rapid succession of plasma bolts whizzing out almost desperately. Her second target barely misses her line of fire and as she follows his trail, she fails to block the third Balosar from tackling her into the wall. She cries out as he harshly elbows her wrist to disarm her, the blaster forced out of her hand.

“Grab her!” She hears her attacker hiss from above her before she’s suddenly snatched from behind. Her arms are pinned to her sides as she’s grabbed and lifted several inches off the ground.

Her heart is pounding, blood pumping into her ears as she yells out. Her feet start kicking furiously in an instant, every functional instinct left in her telling her to fight back. “Get off me!” she shrieks, flailing until her boot finally connects with a knee. She hears him yelp behind her, his grip slipping. She jabs her elbow fully into his nose, sending them both tumbling.

Two separate voices are shouting incoherently above her in a blend of confusion and exasperation. She can see her blaster just feet away and she starts crawling, scrambling in a desperate effort to reach it, until she’s yanked backwards by her ankle.

“Pin her down.” she hears one of them growl maliciously from above.

Her stomach turns as she’s dragged back into her assailant’s grip, trails of her fingernails digging into the dirt floor. She feels her brain short-circulating in its panic so she resorts to one last defense tactic.

She starts screaming.

And it’s a shriek that’s piercing and raw and louder than she was planning it to be. But she screams anyway in hopes that anyone within the block can at least hear her, even if it’s another drunken villager on their way home.

“Shut her up!” A second voice hisses hastily, hands scrambling to smother her.

“NO- ” She bites down on the first hand that touches her face and only squeals louder, her pitch jumping another octave in her hysteria. She starts kicking again, nails scrambling in the dirt for a spare rock, a glass shard, anything physical to grab in her defense. When her palms only fill with clumps of dirt and sand, she clenches her fists around them anyway.

What started as a dreamy, whimsical high has quickly soured into a debilitating panic trip. Rather than floating in euphoric bliss, she feels tranquilized, her focus and motor skills severely hindered and overpowered by these 3 much larger adversaries. Her stomach is turning over under her ribs, waves of nausea churning with her rising panic. Her heart is pounding too fast she feels, and her lungs are tightly clenched despite how fast she’s gasping for air.

She doesn’t realize she’s crying until she’s flipped on her back, the welling tears spilling down her temples. Before she can scream again, a balled up handkerchief is forced into her mouth. Two of them meanwhile, are putting their full weight down on her to pin her limbs to the ground. The first one is limping over to them, his knife recovered in his hand while patches of fresh blood trail behind his injured foot. She audibly whimpers now, wriggling in their grasp like a drowning fish.

“You know.. I was gonna let you go after all this,” he starts, turning his blade over in his hand as if to inspect it. “But that was before I believed the rumors.” He pauses here, and the dread is only momentarily overwhelmed by her instinctive curiosity. “I mean- we all knew the bounty’s primary target was a Mandalorian with a green pet- ” Her stomach drops. “ -but there was no mention anywhere about his pretty little accomplice.”

She rustles again as he looms over her. “And I gotta tell ya, I didn’t think it was true at all. I mean, a Mandalorian with a business partner? And a girl at that!?” He almost laughs before he pivots. “But then we sees’ you in town, carryin’ this little guy around, and we think, maybe there’s some truth in all this, ya know?” Her stomach sinks even lower at the realization that they not only spotted her with the kid, but that they’d been watching her this whole time too.

Double fuck.

Suddenly, he’s kneeling in front of her, his injured foot tucked behind his knee, and she’s roughly sat up to face him by the snatch of her hair. “So here’s what’s gonna happen,” She grunts helplessly when his blade is pressed deeper against her neck as the three men crowd around her. “you’re gonna point me in the direction of the gremlin, you’re gonna watch us shoot his kidnapper, and then, and only then, will I finally kill you myself.”

Her brows crease in pain as she tries to pull away from his blade, but the hand twisted in the back of her hair only pushes her into it. The handkerchief is yanked out for her to answer and his head tilts to catch her eyes. “So?” he snaps. “What’s it gonna be? Now or later?”

Her eyes harden, nostrils flaring. Honestly, right now, she just wants to tell him to fuck off. It’s not like this was her first time being mugged and/or threatened, and unfortunately not while inebriated either. But this one felt pretty damn close to getting got. Her brain is already scrambling between scattered half-assed theories on how to get her out of this.

Fw-ip !

A whizzing sound passes under her and it’s so subtle, she almost doesn’t notice it. Then there’s a pause of silence that’s almost too heavy to be coming from nothing before she notices that the first guy’s eyes have blown wide open. They make eye contact and she squints, almost confused.

Suddenly, he’s thrown back and he starts screaming before she realizes he’s being yanked into the shadows by his wounded foot. She can hear the mechanical whizzing again as he’s dragged, even over his friends’ shouting, and it takes another split second for her to realize it’s a whipcord. And just like that, the Force alerts her that she’s not alone again. But instead of dread, something else flutters in her gut.

The Balosar’s screams are cut short by a single blaster shot, and she inhales a gasp of air before a chill crawls up her spine.

Two heavy, familiar boot steps clunk in front of them as its owner steps into the dim lighting.

She exhales and pure euphoria blooms in her chest.

He’s towering over them, broad shoulders stiff and gloved hands clenched into iron fists, his armor gleaming like a beacon even in the cover of night.

She can’t stop the smile that’s spreading across her face. “Mando..-”

“Kill him!” One of the Balosars yanks her back into his chest as his friend scrambles to his feet, blaster already in hand. She squeaks and the sound seems to snap Mando into full action. She’s yanked to her feet as his arm wrangles itself around her neck.

From here though, she can see her Mandalorian in his full glory. She watches him stalking towards his prey, blaster bolts bouncing off his beskar like raindrops as the other guy empties his clip into him. And of course, when that doesn’t work, he headbutts him to stun him before striking. Despite the weight of his armor, Mando moves like a viper and is just as deadly.

She feels herself being dragged away and she grunts in protest, trying to wriggle out of his grasp. It’s then she remembers one hand is still clenched. Without a second thought, she swings backwards, smacking the guy right in the face as she temporarily blinds him with a fistful of dirt.

“Agh- !” He shouts and she slips out his grip. She starts towards Mando, but then she’s grabbed by her hair and is yanked backwards with a cry. “Fuckin’ bitch- !” She hears him snarl before the back of his hand strikes her directly across her cheek.

She drops against the brick wall behind her, his body towering her, but from the corner of her eye, she spots Mando. The second guy is now motionless on the floor and his helmet is fully trained on the last one. And based on the swell of his chest and how hard he’s breathing now, she doesn’t need to gauge anything else; he just saw what he did and he’s furious.

He crosses the space between them and drags him backwards and away from her. The Balosar starts fighting back but he's quickly overpowered as he’s disarmed with an unnatural twist of his wrist. Mando spins him around and lands a punch directly into his face once, twice, thrice and then a final fourth blow before the guy falls to his knees. And it’s there that he goes for the kill, grabbing his head with both gloved hands and snapping his neck with an enraged grunt and a sickening crunch.

She watches the final body crumple to the floor with blown out eyes and her jaw fully dropped. She’s physically shaking, she realizes, and can barely breathe, let alone stand on her own. But when Mando finally turns to her, his chest rising and falling, she clings to the wall behind her to gather herself back up.

“What the hell happened??” Mando’s tone is harsh and agitated, even under his modulated panting. “You weren’t on the ship when I-”

He’s cut off when she runs straight into his arms. She all but collapses into his chest, arms coiled around his neck and her face smothered into his cowl. Before he can even process what’s happening, she pulls back to look up at him. “You’re earlyy!” She’s practically beaming up at him, one of her hands tracing the cheekbone of his helmet.

He’s speechless. First, a hug. And now she’s.. glad to see him? Not to mention how she’s smiling up at him with those big, adoring puppy-dog eyes. She’s never been this nice to him before, not even around the Child. “I- ” he hesitates before clearing his throat. “ -Yes. The target uh, took less time than I thought.”

This only makes her smile wider before she buries herself in him again. This time, her arms slip around his back, her cheek leaning into his chest plate. She could care less about how the edges of his armor were pinching into her skin, or how his fully loaded bandolier was pressed very uncomfortably into her collarbone. All that mattered to her right now, was this. “I’m so happy you’re here.” she all but whimpers, closing her eyes to savor the coolness of his beskar and the familiar scent of metal and gun smoke.

Now Mando was really stunned. But he can also feel the physical tremble in her muscles and the speed of her pulse, so he relents with a long sigh before a single arm drapes around her back. “Are you okay?” he asks, his tone much softer this time.

She nods into his chest before pulling away again. “Y-Yeah I just- ” she takes a deep breath and lets out a shaky exhale. “ -that was.. too close..”

“What happened?” He decides to ask again. “Are you hurt?” His hands quickly pat her down as if checking her for any other injuries before one of them comes up to gently cup her chin. He carefully tilts her face to get a better view of her red cheek and it doesn’t go unnoticed when she refuses to make eye contact. His helmet tilts ever so slightly. “Sen’ika..”

Her lips press together and her brows furrow as she flinches. “Well..”

“Did they kidnap you?” He asks, his other hand gesturing towards the 3 bodies behind him.

This makes her head snap back up. “No! No, they had no idea where I was staying. They were just trying to follow me back t..” she trails off the moment her brain catches up to her lips, and now that she’s face-to-face with him, she can practically feel Mando’s visor burning a hole into her forehead.

The pause between them stretches out uncomfortably before he finally speaks. “Where did you go?” His voice makes her insides squirm, like a teenager getting caught out after curfew.

“Uh..” She starts and suddenly she’s become hyper-aware of how hot her face is. She can’t remember the last time he was this close to her, and the realization of this somehow makes her self-conscious. She’s also still remarkably faded, too faded in fact to fake any semblance of sobriety. And if he’s already here, there’s really no point in lying to him, he’s way too smart for that. “..the bar.” she finally finishes meekly.

His shoulders slump as he exhales. “You got drunk?” he asks incredulously.

Her face brightens in embarrassment. “Okay, look- ” she starts and she can practically hear him groan under his helmet as he looks up to the sky. “-to be fair, I only went after the kid passed out, cause I knew he wouldn’t wake up.”

When she looks up, his helmet only tilts to the side, a silent move that only prompts her to keep going. “Ok, so there’s this pattern I’ve noticed, so when you give him a full meal and a glass of warm milk, and then you just let him play with his toys and get him to make them float around the room, after a certain time, he’ll get super tired and, like, fully sleep through the night. And I know that sounds like the most basic excuse in the book but I swear I tested this three nights in a row and it worked every time, okay so I wasn’t being totally stupid..”

She doesn’t realize how long she’s been rambling until she glances up again. He’s now leaned in closer to her, and for a moment she thinks he’s examining her cheek again. What she doesn’t realize is how carefully he’s looking into her eyes. He can tell she’s been drinking by now, and despite the trauma of the attempted assault on her just now, her eyes are still way too bloodshot to just be the liquor. Not to mention the hint of another smell on her..

She inhales sharply through her nose when she feels his gloved hands slip over her own. She gazes into his visor, as if straining to look for a pair of eyes behind it and leans in ever so slightly. She’s never been as curious to see what his expression looks like as she is right now. Her face softens as she stares up at him. “Mando..?” Her voice is just above a whisper and oh-so delicate.

She can feel his thumbs gently press into the pulse points of her wrists as he stares at her, and the surprising warmth of his touch makes butterflies flutter in her ribs. And just before she can open her mouth to call out to him again, he leans directly into her eye level.

“Are you high?” He’s audibly confused.

Her eyes turn into saucers in silent panic and it’s here that he can see her pupils are blown wide open.

“…Uhhhh…”

He sighs heavily as his head drops in defeat. It’s the only answer he needs.

“Okay,” he relents as he lets go of her. “Get your stuff. Let’s go home.”

He immediately stiffens once the words slip out. Oh, fuck fuck fuck.

No Din, no! This was temporary, remember?? She’d only made that abundantly clear the day she stepped foot on the Crest with a single bag and 2 datapads. It was always a mutual agreement though: she was to join him on the Crest to work full-time on tracking down a Jedi, with a deadline of at least a couple of months before he was to drop her off at a new planet of residency of her choosing. After all, she’d only just begun resettling her life and it was a path she intended to follow through on her own. Din understood this partnership was fleeting and it was unfair of him to call this ‘home’, yet for some reason, he insisted on slipping up in little moments like this again and again.

Though based on the glazed, clueless look in her eyes, she didn’t notice at all. “Okay.” she simply says, turning around to scan the alley for her belongings. As she skirts off in one direction, Din sees her blaster laying just a couple of feet away. He picks it up for her when a loud clanging catches his attention.

“Hey!” She calls out, straining to pull her bag out from under one of the bodies. Once she rolls him off with a kick of her foot, she holds up her bag and pulls out one of the sources of the noise. “Look, the cider survived!”

His helmet tilts almost disapprovingly, but he does nothing else as he holds her blaster out to her. “C’mon.” he all but huffs impatiently.

“Okay okay, sorryy- ” she slurs, stumbling over the same body as she returns and accepts her blaster. “One of these are yours ya know!” Mando is already walking away as she’s throwing her up bag over her shoulder, and she has to scramble to keep up with him, a move that makes her trip on her own two feet.

His helmet tilts over his shoulder at her. “Can you walk?” She’s not sure if it’s meant to sound demeaning or not, but it makes her puff her chest as she pouts at him.

“Of course I can walk!” she shoots back. “You’re just going too fast.” He grunts in response, helmet facing forward again and continues his pace. She’s not sure if it’s the spice but his strides feel more rushed than usual. His shoulders are also still fully straight, she notices and something tugs in her chest as she tries getting a sense of what his body language is telling her. She’s only a step or two behind him, and her eyes wander to the floor in front of her, the words spilling out before she can stop herself. “..are you mad at me?”

She almost sounds like a child, remorseful and heavy with guilt and she already hates how it comes out. But what punches harder is his response. Or his lack of it. Because he simply keeps walking at the same pace, fully ignoring her. No grunt, no hum, not even a sigh. And for some reason, this makes her ache. She stumbles over her own feet again and almost instantly she can feel tears threatening to well under the skin of her cheeks. She wants to curse herself for getting emotional, but it has to be liquor making her moods swing so drastically, she tells herself. Not that this thought doesn’t stop her from speaking again.

“I’m fired aren’t I- ”

Before she can blink, she runs face-first into a wall of beskar as he stops abruptly. She can’t help but yelp as she clutches her now-throbbing nose and when she looks back up, he’s turning to face her again. He stares at her until the silence frays at her nerves, and just when she can feel her face burning up to her ears, she hears a soft exhale from his modulator.

“C’mon,” his voice is soft as his right arm slightly pokes out towards her. “I can hear you tripping around from up here.”

Her brows furrow ever so slightly. “Are you makin’ fun of me?” she asks.

“Does it sound like I am?”

Her eyes narrow this time. “Mayybe.” she coos. But she loops her arm into the crook of his elbow and is silently delighted when he tucks her against his side. She finds it much easier to match his walk now and she can’t help the jump in her pulse as she’s pressed closer to him. In fact, she has to bite her lip to stop the silly grin threatening to spread across her cheeks. They walk in comfortable silence for a while before her spinning brain comes up with another enquiry.

“Mando?”

“Hm?” His response is barely registered under his modulator.

“How’d you find me?”

For a moment, Din doesn’t answer. And it’s not for the lack of one either. He’s just not sure where to begin. Does he start when he first re-entered the Crest to find the kid safe and sound but with her nowhere in sight? Or when he went back outside in hopes that she was on the roof stargazing or fiddling with the ship. Or when he started speed-walking through the nearby alleys because now he really couldn’t find her and just before his panic could bubble over, a single sound just yards away made his heart stop before he jump-started into a full sprint for her.

“I heard you scream.” he eventually replies and it almost sounds like his teeth are pressed together under that helmet.

She smiles at that. My hero. She almost wants to swoon until he speaks up again.

“I’ve warned you about being alone Sen’ika,” His tone is still soft, but firmer this time. She flinches and tucks her face down from him, nodding once.

“I know, I- ” her head swirls at the pang of shame but she swallows the urge to say anything other than what was necessary here. “I’m sorry.”

Another pause of silence. She decides to focus on their footsteps instead. There was something about the synchronized crunch of gravel under their boots that just satisfied every single sense in her. And it isn’t until she looks up and gets a full glimpse of the night sky that she realizes the spice is still very much in her system, unnatural neon lights and shapes bouncing across the stars. She stares in drunken awe up at them for a little too long and when she sees the Crest finally back in eyesight, she practically deflates in relief.

“Hey,” Then, Mando gently slides his arm out of their loop, leather ghosting down the length of her arm until he cups his palm over her fisted hand. “What matters to me most is that you’re safe,” he says softly. His visor turns to her, and he slowly opens her hand to slide his own into her palm. His gloved thumb gently squeezes her knuckles in what she can only gather as reassurance. “Okay?” His tone is so warm, it’s almost tender.

It catches her so far off guard, she’s pretty sure she short-circuited and is only still breathing on emergency autopilot. Her cheeks flush up and her eyes are blown wide open in the same sweet doe-like expression he adores so much, that he can’t help but smile behind the safety of his helmet. She blinks and she almost resets, clearing her throat as she looks straight ahead. She’s still blushing as she smiles and nods once. “Okay.” she replies sweetly.

Even his gloves are impenetrable, thick and almost twice as large in size. But she can still feel a warmth radiating from the other side against her skin. Suddenly feeling brave, she shifts, slipping through his gloves and slowly linking their fingers together. Mando stiffens at first, until her nails sink into the shape of his knuckles, and he internally melts. Before he can process his own reaction, he squeezes back, his thumb gently stroking over her own.

She looks up again, grinning from ear to ear. Clouds are dancing in her vision, stars swelling and shrinking in size across the painted skies. She dares herself to glance at him from the corner of her eye. He’s looking straight ahead thankfully, only semi-lit under the glow of the moons, but his beskar has never been more radiant. The same colors in her eyes bounce off the high points of his armor, illuminating him in an almost ethereal glow. She can’t stop her eyes from wandering. He’s perfectly shaped from every angle. He stands tall and proud, and walks with an effortless swagger so few could replicate. His mere presence can shift the focus of an entire room. He’s daunting and striking and is the picture of discipline and strength. Yet he cradles her hand in his like she’s made of glass. She’s never seen anything past the chiseled cut of his helmet, yet he’s never looked more beautiful in her eyes right now. She knows she shouldn’t be looking at him the way she is right now; with stars in her eyes and the softest, most affectionate little smile spreading from cheek to flushed cheek.

“You’re so pretty~” she slurs out in the sweetest tone. From behind his beskar, Din’s heart jumps into his throat.

“You’re drunker than I thought.” He doesn’t skip a beat though, somehow keeping his tone flat and neutral.

“It’s still truee,” she shoots back, leaning against his side with a wide grin. “It’s always been true!”

He glances at her wordlessly and she smiles back at herself through his visor. He’s not sure what to say to that, if anything, he’s too flustered to think of a rebuttal. He’s never been called pretty by anyone, even as a joke. Eventually he clears his throat and looks away and she only grins wider. Did she just leave him speechless? She can’t help but try to read his body language for any hints.

BONK.

Unfortunately she’s so distracted by the dancing Mudhorn on his pauldron that she fully trips on the descending base of the Crest’s ramp. The only thing that stops her from falling on her face is Mando’s sudden grip on her elbow. His visor slowly turns to her again. And she knows he’s frowning this time. He yanks her back to her feet and they finally ascend to the deck. She sighs happily once she stumbles into the safety of the Crest.

As Mando closes and locks up the gangway behind them, a late thought suddenly strikes her. She turns to him with panicked eyes. “The kid!?”

“Shh-!” He quickly hushes her with a gloved pointer over her lips. She stares into her own flushed reflection as her voice echoes into the cockpit above. She’s hyper-aware of just how loud she’s being now that she’s no longer outside. Along with the scent of sunkissed leather directly under her nose. She doesn’t move until his finger slowly pivots to her right and when she follows his direction, she spots his hover pod, sealed up and safe and sound, just as she’d left him.

She sighs softly and her shoulders slump in relief. Mando leans in pointedly. “You’re lucky you were right.” he whispers into her hair. “He didn’t flinch when I got home.”

As goosebumps sprout up the back of her neck, he pulls away and crosses the room to the ladder. “I’m gonna lock us down. We’ll leave first thing tomorrow.” Just before he climbs, he turns back to her. “Bedtime, Sen’ika. Now.” It's a gentle, but final warning.

She nods wordlessly and he leaves her in the middle of the room, dizzy and flustered. Her ears are also ringing now that she’s swallowed in silence. Eventually, she slowly pads into her designated corner. Her hammock is tucked away in the pocket of an empty storage closet, a thin makeshift curtain the only barrier between her ‘room’ and the deck. The walls hum around her and she realizes the heat has been turned back on, thankfully. She’s too drunk to fully wash up but she’s got enough energy to rip off her tight, itchy outdoor clothes and boots. She grabs the closest pajama-adjacent shirt and lounge pants she can find and wriggles them on.

She opens her hammock and finally allows herself to lay down, eyes turned to the dim ceiling.

How would it have felt if she’d laid her head on his shoulder?

No.

Would he have pushed her away? Or allowed her to stay?

Her brain’s focus shifts to the vision of his arms. His hands. His sweet, soothing voice.

I mean, he let her hold his hand, didn’t he? And hug him. Surely she could’ve gotten away with a little shoulder lean.

Gods, no.

Is he soft under all that armor? Does he run hot or does the beskar keep him cool? Is there a human face behind that m-

No! Stop it!

She physically shakes her head to break her train of thought. This was dangerous terrain. Just because you’re drunk doesn't mean you should be humoring these silly curiosities of yours! Her eyes squeeze shut and as she tries to take a deep breath, she realizes her heart is racing.

This is ridiculous.

Okay, so what if she has a crush on her employer?? It's not exactly a new phenomenon, and it certainly wasn’t the first boss she’d ever fallen for either. What was insane was what she liked about him. Because for the very first time, she couldn’t put a face to it. Instead, it was in his voice. His strength. His unwavering faith in his Creed, in the Way. He was loyal, honorable and resourceful. Stubborn as a Bantha, but quick to strike like lightning. He was also kind and selfless. He had the patience of a saint for the Child and innocent locals and despite his daunting appearance, he never hesitated to help out others, even if it meant pushing back on their schedule. There were actually various reasons why she liked him, and she couldn’t even put a name to a single one of them.

Not that any of it mattered. Because not a word of this would be uttered to anyone, let alone to him. Not to mention that this was a temporary gig, it’s not like she’d be around much longer anyway. The last thing she needed was to complicate this job for herself with her unprofessional schoolgirl behavior.

Squeezing her eyes shut, she shifts her focus to the only other thing clouding her judgment. Her head is still spinning but the heaviness behind her eyes makes it easy to keep them closed. She also focuses on slowing her breath, allowing her limbs to fully sink into the cradle of her hammock. A few minutes melt away and just as she finally feels herself beginning to drift..

“Pin her down.”

She physically jolts awake as the image of her ex-attackers kneeling over her flashes behind her eyelids. Her heart jumps to her throat as that same awful wave of nausea courses through her. Okay so clearly she wasn’t over what happened just yet. Her stomach turns again though this time for far more terrifying reasons.

She leaps to her feet before she can stop herself. She’s not sure what she wants just yet, but she knows whose presence she needs. She whips her curtain aside and almost jumps out of her skin when she sees Mando already standing at her doorway. “G-Geez- !”

He doesn’t flinch. He’s also holding a metal cup that he offers to her when she looks at it. “Drink this before you fall asleep,” he simply says.

“What is it?” she accepts it anyway, peering inside before taking a test sip.

“Just water,” Mando pauses and inwardly smiles when she gags at the aftertaste. “and powdered electrolytes to cut your hangover time in half. You'll thank yourself in the morning for it.”

“Mm, awesome!” she flashes him a pained grin and he almost chuckles. She’s so adorable like this, it’s almost painful.

He lingers for just a moment longer before he nods once. “Sweet dreams.” He starts walking away until a single hand on his arm makes him stop in his tracks. His helmet shoots towards her expectantly and when her eyes meet his visor, her voice suddenly clamps in her throat. She catches the almost-panicked expression in her reflection’s eyes and looks away. She almost starts apologizing, but he turns towards her instead, closing the distance between them. “What’s wrong?”

“I- ” Her face feels warm again despite her growing anxiety and she feels betrayed by the flush burning across her cheeks. She huffs and looks down at her feet. “Never mind, it’s n- ”

“Sen’ika,” He doesn’t even have to say anything else. His helmet ducks to try and catch her eye. “Tell me.” His voice is so gentle and reassuring that she has no choice but to succumb.

Fuck it, right?

“C… can I stay with you tonight?” Her voice is so soft, it’s almost a whisper. Her hand gently squeezes his sleeve, teeth catching on her bottom lip. “I don’t.. wanna be alone tonight..” To be fair, it wasn’t a lie.

It’s so quiet, you could hear a pin drop from the cockpit. In fact, she can’t even hear him breathing. Fuck. Did she fuck it up? Is he weirded out? Is she fired? Again?? Fuck! Take it back!

She has no idea just how startled Din really is though. She can’t hear his heart doing somersaults in his chest or how almost-terrified he looks behind the visor. But then she looks up at him with those frantic angel eyes for just a moment, he knows that despite whatever’s asked of him, how could he ever deny his little bird?

She opens her mouth and he perks up. ”Okay,” he says. It’s just as soft as she asked and almost nervous. He nods to follow up and clears his throat. “Of course.”

Her eyes round and she blinks back at him, almost dumbfounded. Holy shit, it worked? “Yeah?”

He nods again. “Yeah,” he replies lightly before his helmet jerks in the direction of his bunk. “C’mon.”

He crosses the room to his bunk to open the hatch. The kid’s pod is hovering peacefully right by the door where either of them can reach him if they have to. She follows him wordlessly where he steps aside for her. “Pick your spot, I’ll be right back.” he tells her.

Ironically, she was no stranger to his bed. He’d offered his room to her plenty of times before she carved out a spare corner for herself to give him his privacy back. She never imagined she’d actually be sharing it with him for once. She downed the last of her water and put the cup aside before she stepped into the bunk. She decided to slide into the corner facing the wall to give him as much space as possible.

Mando’s only gone for a few minutes, but in her panicked, overthinking state, it feels like ages. She finds comfort in his sheets. After getting so used to this space then moving out for a stretch of time, they felt familiar and almost welcoming to come back to. She acknowledged this was mostly due to their scent, the warm, woodsy musk that she recognized as what was likely the scent of his skin. She nuzzles into his blankets, inhales and sighs into them.

Then his boot steps echo back into earshot. She rolls onto her back and props up on her elbows, watching his shadowed figure fiddling outside. After a particularly heavy sigh, he clicks a light off and steps inside. For a second, he almost looks like a shadow sliding along the walls. It’s then she realizes he’s not wearing his beskar. He's stripped down to his full flight suit, boots, gloves and of course, his trademark helmet. There’s still not a shred of skin in sight but this still gives her a full view of his own figure. She’s dumbstruck at just how broad he truly is even without his armor. Then, it dawns on her that he took off his beskar to make room for her and something flutters under her ribs.

He looks at her and she scoots into the wall. His gloves clench and unclench in a subtle twitch as he slides into the space next to her. It’s a tight squeeze, laying shoulder to shoulder, but it’s a fit that would’ve probably been unbearable with the few inches of additional armor on. She crosses her arms, making herself smaller and fitting around the bigger gaps between them.

They both sigh and for a moment, it’s quiet. Her heart’s weirdly racing and she’s not sure what to say. Or if anything should be said at all. He shifts next to her, and her first thought is that he’s warm, even under his dense flight suit. He sighs again, and it sounds spent. She wonders if his eyes are closed behind that helmet.

Her head cranes towards him. “Long day?”

A short huff cracks through his modulator. “Something like that.” He’s smiling behind that response.

She grins back and looks up at the dark ceiling again. Colors are still swirling in her eyes if she squints long enough, but they're fading, she notes. There’s another short pause before this time, he breaks. “If.. this is too uncomf- ”

“It’s not.” she cuts in sweetly, still smiling to herself. Despite the angle, he’s warm and sturdy and she’d never felt more secure sandwiched between a man and his metal walls. She gently nudges his side. “Thanks again for saving my ass.”

He huffs again and nudges back. “Any time.” he replies.

She giggles and pauses, words pricking at the tip of her tongue. She’s feeling brave again and in her growing drowsiness, she decides to throw caution to the wind one last time. “Mando?”

“Mm?”

She inhales and shifts, her chin gently pressing into his shoulder. “Can I be honest about somethin’?”

His helmet shifts to her expectantly before pointing his chin at her. A silent approval to keep going. “I’ve been surrounded by armies my whole life. For as long as I can remember. Rebels, mercenaries, outcasts. You name it, I’ve met ‘em,” She peers up at his visor, ensuring she’s making eye contact. “And I’ve never felt safer with any of ‘em than I have with you.”

He doesn’t so much as twitch, but she swears she hears his breath seize under the helmet. Once again, his chest blooms and swells and something warm settles in his stomach. He smiles inwardly and before he can stop himself, a gloved hand comes up between them, leather knuckles stroking along the shape of her cheek.

She leans into it for just a moment and then she breaks through, ducking under his arm to curl herself up into his side. She rolls onto her own side, an arm draped across his chest and her head resting below his collarbone. Surprisingly, he not only allows her position shift, but he wraps his arm around her and even pulls her into him. “I made a promise to you,” he says. His hand settles between her shoulder blades, his thumb tracing a single circle into her back. “As long as you’re with me, you’ll be safe from harm. I intend to keep that promise as long as it takes.”

With her ear pressed into his shirt, she realizes that his pulse is racing against her. He also smells nice, like a combination of gunsmoke, the outdoors and the linen of his sheets. It’s woodsy and crisp, but it’s warm and homey and so intoxicatingly comforting.

She wants to say it.

She could get away with saying it if she played it right. But she's too drowsy and delirious and exhausted to keep thinking. He’s draping his blankets over them, tucking her into the ultimate heat source and she wants to soak in it. There’s a cool press against her hair and she realizes that his helmet is leaning into her. “Is this okay?” he whispers to her.

She nuzzles into his shirt and sighs contentedly. Sleep is pulling her into its depths faster than she anticipated but she has enough energy to sweetly mumble, “No. It’s better than okay.”

He exhales through his nose from above her and his hand gently rubs her back. “Get some sleep, mesh’la,” he purrs. “I’m here.”

She doesn’t know what that one means. She makes a mental note to ask tomorrow. Right now, she picks her head up to press a single kiss into his collarbone before plopping back down. “G’night Mando..”

His heart rate picks up again. He pulls her up closer so her head is nestled into the crook of his neck. This allows her to wrap both arms around him. His helmet tilts down and she swears she feels his eyes on her. “Good night.”

She closes her eyes and smiles, allowing herself to sink into his warmth and scent for the first and probably only time. Her words were never truer than in this moment; never had she felt safer than in this tiny bunk, wrapped in her Mandalorian’s blankets. She falls asleep shortly afterwards, her breaths evening out and her heartbeat slowing into a tranquil pace. This time, her mind takes her to more pleasant dreamscapes.

She can’t detect Mando at all, listening to her pulse as she sleeps. She doesn’t feel how long it takes before his gloves slip off in the dim lights and two arms fully wrap around her. She can’t sense his warm palms holding her against him, one across her back, the other coming up to smooth and brush her hair. And she’s long gone by the time he makes the conscious choice to give his helmet a break, telling himself he needs the air and it’ll be back on long before she wakes up tomorrow.

Somewhere in her subconscious, thoughts flash across her eyes; images of the Child, his laugh, his bright brown eyes, and his infectious joy. Repeated images of Mando, his visor, his cape, his arms. His sheets. His voice. His leathered touch. Their hands linked under a coat of stars.

She swears she feels a pair of ghostly lips brush against her forehead, if only for a moment, but she never quite figures out where they came from. Not that it matters. Because for now, this is enough. Even if it is only temporary.

* * *

a/n: stream season 3 only on disney + <3

#din djarin #the mandalorian #din djarin x you #din djarin x reader #din djarin fanfiction #din djarin x y/n #the mandalorian x reader #din djarin x female reader #mando x reader #the mandalorian fanfiction #mando x female reader

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slashermilf · 5 months ago

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the theme of the bear is how it’s bad to try and hold onto the past and how you should embrace change and that life goes on and you just have to accept it as best you can, and maybe even grow along with it.

for example … in SEASON 1 richie and tina refusing to let go of the past and clinging onto what it all used to be—the beef & mikey—but eventually embracing change and learning to grow along with the restaurant. and the start of that change happened when sydney showed up …

then, when sugar called carmy to tell him mikey died … he refused to accept it, shoved his feelings down, and put all his focus and attention into his work/cooking in new york. he refused to accept reality and that things changed bc mikey not only DIED but K*LLED HIMSELF … that’s a HARD thing to accept/acknowledge.

and now in SEASON 3, SYDNEY is the one who’s clinging onto the past … she’s the one who’s missing the beef. but she doesn’t miss mikey like richie, carmy, or tina did … but rather she misses CARMY. or, who he once was.

she misses the partner/coworker/boss/etc she once knew and admired deeply. she was inspired by him. she looked up to him. she trusted him and confided in him.

now it’s like she’s a ghost to him. and he’s a shell of a man she once knew but is now gone. she can’t tell him anything out of fear of how he’ll react. and, deep down, she’s still holding out hope that s1-2a!carmy is gonna come back and she’s gonna be able to trust him again … but, so far, it’s not looking like that.

and, sydney believes that she’s to blame bc she wants a star. and carmy knows that. and, so, he’s getting it for her. but that comes with the cost of his progression/development. he regressed and sacrificed all that he did/could in order to be “perfect” enough for sydney and her dreams of getting a star.

sydney’s panic attack in 3.10 perfectly displayed her hopes of s1!carmy coming back to her slowly fading away, and her fear of leaving all that she’s grown to know and love behind.

and that’s why that final scene of sydney is so heartbreaking to me, but is also the most telling about her character. (and also ayo’s acting??? TOP KNOTCH FOR SURE.)

the lesson of the show is that things change that you can’t control. there are parts of/moments in your life that you won’t have control of, and you have to accept that. you have to just let these things happen, and try and let it help you grow because that’s what the world is made up of. change. growth. new beginnings. ups and downs.

anyways. apologies for my ramblings. i was just talking to a moot about this earlier and i haven’t stopped thinking about it since then.

#dylan talks #the bear #the beef #sydney adamu #carmen berzatto #carmy berzatto #carmy x sydney #syd x carmy #carmy the bear

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clearancecreedwatersurvival · 1 year ago

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But Caitie, why are you so pressed about bad faith criticism from book fans about the wheel of time show? Great question I’m glad you asked.

From what I have observed book fans who are saying that it’s a bad adaptation and not worth watching have criticisms that usually boil down to one or all of these three objections.

1. They’re spending time in the show on characters who aren’t the ta’veren boys/Rand

2. Any changes have been made at all in order to adapt the story to film

3. There are too many queer characters and actors of color

All three of these talking points became a common refrain during season one, largely driven by the hilariously un-self aware manpilled alt-right shitheads in the /r/whitecloaks subreddit which got shut down for harassing other subreddits in 2022. It should be obvious that a lot of the motivation there was a misogynistic and racist misreading of a deliberately feminist and multicultural book series. If you think RJ would find this diverse show full of badass and well fleshed out women a poor adaptation of his work you are kidding yourself.

And regarding the other less obviously white supremacist complaints: Rand is not the only important character. Anyone who has read past like book two should be well aware that every main character’s point of view is important to the overall narrative. There are only 8 seasons in which to get through all of those main characters’ arcs. Of course they are starting them all now. Are the boys getting less screen time than they get pov chapters early in the books? Sure. This is necessary because once again, the ta’veren boys are Not the only characters that matter. I don’t know why people are so surprised that ALL of the main characters of a book series with over a dozen recurring pov characters are going to have character arcs.

And again if you’re just mad that it’s more queer and polyamorous. Fuck off.

There are valid criticisms to be made about this show if you engage with the show in good faith and judge it by its own merit instead of just comparing it scene by scene to the books. For instance I think it’s fairly obvious that the first season suffered as a result of late stage rewrites made to account for a shortened episode count, and Perrin’s arc in particular was off to a rough start.

But in season 2 I think they are doing a lot of things right, and the change of speeding up his acceptance of his wolfkin powers is a Very good one I think.

And the rest of this season rules to be totally honest. All of the Moiraine and Lan stuff is Great and really sets up for later events so well. And I am enjoying Everything about how the show is handling the Forsaken so far. Episode 4 was my favorite yet, Lanfear is fucking Perfect. This season is absolutely nailing character beats for all the most important characters, and doing excellent character work around the major themes of the book series and setting up for future key events. Every scene with any of the Aes Sedai is my favorite. And some things have been markedly improved by the show over the books. I cannot get over how good the team up of Mat and Min is so far. And the normalization of polyamory in the culture of randland is Brilliant for the long term series.

If this show gets cancelled because so many of the book fans refuse to even try to engage with it for what it is instead of what isn’t, it will be a goddamn tragedy. And if you’re just really disappointed that you can’t as easily skip the scenes with the girls the way you skipped the POV chapters of all the women when reading the books then please take a big step back and ask yourself if unchecked misogyny is a good look in 2023.

#still so fucking funny tbh that a bunch of neo fascists were like ‘we identify with the white cloaks and that’s a good thing actually’#i do not think they understand the books they were so passionate about #wheel of time #wot show #wot on prime #wot #unreasonably attractive fandom #caitie speaks #wot show spoilers #a fan of a feminist book series: there are too many girls in this show

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randomficrecss · 2 years ago

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My Hero Academia Fic Rec

i’m not super picky with my mha ships so here’s some of my fav fics for bakudeku, kiribaku, and tododeku! enjoy<3

KiriBaku

An Abundance of Penguin Shit by vixensheart

T | 295.1K | 25/25 | AU no quirks, AU animal handler, Slowburn, penguins, panic attacks

Penguins are overrated, in Katsuki's mind. They smell, they're loud, and they shit every ten minutes. How he ended up working with them, he doesn't know, but he hates it.

Okay, so maybe he needed a pay raise. Sue him. That doesn't mean he enjoys it. It's hard to enjoy getting bit every time he so much as looks at a penguin, after all. Let alone when he tries to handle one.

It certainly doesn't help that he keeps getting paired with Kirishima, who's all smiles and way too damn friendly for his own good.

Or, when Katsuki works as an animal handler because he's broke and hungry, and inadvertently warms up to both the penguins, and a certain red-haired boy.

I wasn’t looking for love (but then there you were) by dragontrappedinhumanskin

T | 35.5K | 1/1 | AU college, fluff and angst, strangers to lovers, first dates, public transportation, basketball player kirishima

(past child abuse)

Bakugo always fucking hated riding the subway every week, its crowded, loud and he's tired, but then he starts seeing the same redhead every time.

Katsuki blinked in disbelief. What the shit, he’s asking to play rock, paper, scissors. Is he fucking five years old? Who can be this stupid?! And he took his hand off the handle, does he want to fall?

Katsuki glared at him, but the redhead just smiled, and his eyes glint with a challenge, and before Katsuki can really think it through he’s taking his free hand and making a fist in front of himself.

The redhead’s smile turned less challenging and more cheerful, and Katsuki decided that this might not be that bad. He’s going to fucking crush him at rock, paper, scissors, even if it’s a stupid game.

neon season by chonideno

T | 26.3K | 1/1 | AU no quirks, road trips, aged up characters, sharing a bed, happy ending

the car is old and the road is long. nothing truly feels real, gas stations are empty, hotel rooms are on another plane of existence, street lights flicker when they walk past them. the fabric of their relationship changes a bit with every new city they drive through, progressively muffling the buzzing static of their thoughts

or how kirishima and bakugou share food, beds, bodies, and refuse to admit they want it to last

slow it down (go easy on me) by newamsterdam

T | 26.9K | 3/3 | time travel, marriage, future fic, angst with a happy ending

It’s at that moment that Bakugou realizes something is very, very wrong. He glances down at himself and sees scars he’s never had before along his arms, little nicks and scratches he’d never have been oblivious to. When he reaches up, his limbs feel longer, and as he staggers to his feet he stands several centimeters taller than he had, last thing he knew. He glances at the mirror, catches sight of his reflection, and screams.

One of the doors on the opposite side of the room bursts open, steam spilling out into the bedroom. A man crosses the room in quick strides, looking around for some enemy he can’t yet see.

No, not just a man. Kirishima.

When a confrontation with a villain throws Bakugou through time, he's forced to face a future he never imagined, and maybe something he can't leave behind.

the easy parts by chonideno

T | 11.6K | 1/1 | hurt/comfort, canon compliant, scars, insecurity, happy ending

Kirishima made it out alive but his body is covered in wounds that won't heal without leaving marks behind. He hides them away from the sight of others, away from his own, and he hates every part of it. Bakugou watches him reduce his own character to a parody of what it used to be, and he can't stand it.

Or how Bakugou and Kirishima learn to deal with these scars, with themselves, with each other.

Tonight, We’re the Sea by idratherhaveyou

M | 60.7K | 11/11 | AU no quirks, slowburn, hurt/comfort, soft, the ocean

Kirishima goes to a quiet seaside town to take care of his grandmother after she has a bad fall. There he meets Bakugou Katsuki and falls in love.

TodoDeku

sore must be the storm by Pouler (poulerslashes)

T | 10.4K | 1/1 | injury, claustrophobia, near death scenario, hurt/comfort, aged up characters, future fic

(past child abuse)

“We were in a fight,” he said.

“Yes,” Todoroki returned.

“And now we’re trapped?”

“Yes.”

“Under a building.”

“So it would seem.”

Two friends share time and words together as they try to keep a dark situation from turning into a hopeless one.

Summer Stars by PitViperOfDoom

T | 61.2K | 13/13 | hurt/comfort, mutual pining

(past child abuse)

It's been judged safe to send the students of UA home to their families for the first three weeks of summer, much to the relief of everyone whose name isn't Todoroki Shouto. Luckily, Midoriya has a solution for him, and Midoriya Inko has a lot of love to give.

i love you like the sun came out by unreemarkable

T | 46.5K | 6/6 | fluff, angst, developing relationship

(reference child abuse)

Todoroki Shouto is untouchable, until he isn't. What comes after goes a little like this.

[In which Todoroki falls, slowly, steadily, with his eyes wide open.]

Hooked On You by Trenchcoatkitten (love this one bc i just started crocheting like 2 months ago!)

T | 23.3K | 3/3 | crochet AU, college students, getting together, quirkless AU

While looking for a way to get a sweater for his dog, Shouto finds that he may be able to make one himself–and his main way to learn how is from a streamer with gnarled, scarred hands and a very kind voice that Shouto is rapidly coming to like.

The crochet au that nobody asked for but I decided to write because it's like chicken soup for the soul.

prince & prince by Authoress

E | 183K | 22/22 | princes AU, arranged marriage, quirks equal royalty, undercover deku, slowbuild, hurt/comfort

Note to self: don't accidentally fall in love with a prince who's in an arranged marriage keeping your kingdoms from declaring war against each other. Especially when you're spying on him as his manservant.

Checks and Balances by indirectkissesiniceland (literally my fav omg, read the whole series!!)

T | 113.8K | 30/30 | AU college, hockey, cheerleaders, slowburn, friends to lovers

(referenced child abuse)

Izuku Midoriya was a competitive cheerleader up until an injury to his hand made tumbling and stunting an impossibility. It's devastating to think that cheer could be out of his life for good—until a pair of enthusiastic classmates show up at Izuku's dorm room with a signup sheet for a new hockey cheerleading club. All that's left to do is learn how exactly hockey works...and try not to think too much about the prodigious freshman right wing, who's just about the most wonderful person Izuku's ever met.

Shouto Todoroki has eaten, slept, and breathed hockey his whole life. He's got a legacy to live up to with his pro-hockey old man, and he's no stranger to the scrutiny and expectations of his coaches and teammates. It's different now that he plays for UA, though. He's got a former pro coach who sees potential in him and teammates who might actually like him as a person. Then there's the cheerleading captain, who's kind and compassionate in a way Shouto's never known—and who won't rest until Shouto stops dismissing hockey as nothing more than his old man's game.

When He Sees Me by Trenchcoatkitten

no rating | 81.1K | 14/14 | AU no quirks, blind midoriya izuku, dancer todoroki shouto, angst with a happy ending

(referenced child abuse)

“Sorry,” Midoriya says. “I tend to get off in my own little world sometimes. Guess I just talk a lot. Hope that won't bother you.”

“It's fine. I don't talk very much.”

Midoriya grins again, lighting up the booth brighter than the light hanging over the table. “We're a perfect pair, then!”

Todoroki Shouto moves in with someone he's never met, just while he's in town for his show. He's never really known what home could mean, and, well, Izuku's the perfect ball of sunshine to show him.

Basically, this is a Blind!Izuku and Dancer!Shouto AU :)

BakuDeku

i was a little bit lost (but i’m not anymore) by starkliquors

E | 58.7K | 9/9 | AU sugar daddy, ABO dynamics, kid fic, sugar daddy bakugo,

Struggling as a single parent sucks. Especially when he had so many other responsibilities. So when Izuku asks his best friend to help him find a better job, he doesn't expect that to lead to becoming the sugar baby of the Symbol of Victory himself, Ground Zero.

No Perfect Time by ThyNameNotSpoken (read part 2 if u like shinsou hitoshi/kaminari denki, it’s so good)

E | 73.9K | 9/9 | hurt/comfort, dad katsuki, quirkless midoriya, eventual smut, single parents

Katsuki Bakugo has lived his life with no regrets. He goes all in. He doesn’t lose. He doesn’t fail.

Until he does.

Now he's stuck taking care of a baby he swore to protect.

But he needs help. He knows now that he can't do everything alone. That's how Izuku comes into his life. . .and never leaves

Baby Face by VersaceThong (classic “who did this to you” fic)

E | 16.5K | 1/1 | friends to lovers, hurt/comfort, trauma, injury, scar, falling in love, sexual content

A thick bloody gash runs from Deku’s right brow, across the bridge of his nose, over his cheek, and all the way down to the edge of his jaw. A sickening, jagged line etched diagonally over his face, wide enough to miss one of his eyes by mere milimeters.

He almost crashes into Deku, grabbing his arm in one hand and his face in the other. Katsuki’s index and thumb press into either side of his jaw, squishing Deku’s cheeks together.

With a voice so low he doesn’t recognize it as his own, Katsuki grinds out his words.

“Who did this to you?”

______________________________

Or; a villain leaves a scar on Deku's face and Katsuki absolutely loses it.

#bakudeku #tododeku #kiribaku #midoriya izuku #todoroki shouto #kirishima eijirou #bakugo katsuki #my hero academia #mha fic #my hero academia fic #boku no hero academia #bnha fic #deku fic #bakudeku fic #tododeku fic #kiribaku fic

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fandom-alley · 1 year ago

Text

Strangers on Vacation | Part 1

Summary: After a bad breakup on what was supposed to be a fun 3 year anniversary week long cruise, Reader is stranded on the boat in the middle of the ocean. With plans to disembark at the port the next day but nowhere to sleep tonight, she accepts a spare bed from the stranger over dressed for a vacation. Otherwise known as Spencer Reid. Pairing: Spencer/fem reader, plus size reader, mid size reader (whichever you imagine while reading) Category: Fluff, angst, meet cute (sorta?) BAU on mandatory vacation time Warnings: emotional abuse, body shaming, (at the beginning breakup), alcohol drinking/mentions, self-conscious thoughts (Eventual spice but not in this part) please let me know what I missed! Word Count: 2k Notes: I wrote most of this in august, finally feeling up to posting! Part one of 3 or 4. This first chapter is a bit heavy with the breakup and how it effects readers thoughts on herself, but the main story is about loving yourself and self worth and of course Spencer and his crush at first sight. And the BAU on a much needed vacation! I imagine later seasons Reid, with the curls and facial scruff and stuff.

Also on AO3 Masterlist

I don’t know why I insisted on celebrating our three year anniversary on a week long cruise ship vacation. Three years wasn’t even that much to celebrate. One year? Sure, you can celebrate all you’ve learnt about each other and been through as you navigated that first year together. Five years? Absolutely. What a milestone. By five years you’ve probably gotten a place together, started planning a family, or maybe even gotten married. But three? Stuck in the middle there between two big celebrations. Little old three. How boring.

Maybe that’s why I wanted the big hoorah. A romantic week away together. After all, in our three years of being together, we still lived in our own apartments, never talked about children, and the thought about marriage was enough to make my stomach turn. Maybe this vacation would change that.

I was very, very wrong.

The arguing started, you guessed it, three hours into the trip. Just about little things at first. Like which side of the counter in the bathroom belonged to who. Mine was the right side, of course. It’s always the right side. Any time I spent the night at John’s place, his stuff was always on the left and I would place mine on the right. But apparently I was wrong, and he always had his stuff on the right side, as he ever so kindly pointed out by yelling. I’m sure our cruise cabin neighbours were loving us already.

Then it was about what activity we were going to do first. I suggested dinner and a show in the entertainment lounge, since it was nearing dusk and well past time to eat. But he pushed back, wanting to head straight for the main deck swimming pool with the swim up bar and jacuzzis. We argued for about five minutes before I relented. I excused myself to the bathroom to calm down and change into my swim suit.

For this trip I had bought some new super cute bikini’s. And in honour of my first time on a boat, and also for the first night on the cruise, I chose to wear the bikini with blue and white stripes. A nautical vibe that I found very fitting for the occasion.

However, when I emerged from the bathroom donned in said bikini because I hadn’t put my cover up dress on yet, John looked me up and down with a scowl before huffing out a breath and turning away. He busied himself unpacking his suitcase, already wearing his own swim trunks and a white t-shirt.

“What?” I asked to his back, since he apparently refused to look at me.

“Nothing,” he spat out.

“Clearly it’s something. You’re acting annoyed or disgusted or something.” I replied while walking to my own suitcase to dig out that cover up dress.

“I am disgusted,” he stated. He stilled his movements as I neared closer to the bed with our suitcases on top.

“At what?” I asked curiously. I found the dress and held it against my body, trying to judge if it would be too weird to wear overtop of blue and white stripes. But it was a white dress, so I figured it should be fine.

“At you,” John answered. “You’ve let yourself go.”

My heart fell to the floor, as did the dress I was holding. I watched, speechless, as John finally turned around to stare at me in disgust. His gaze went from my head down to my toes and back up again. Where normally that kind of gazing would be taken as someone appreciating my body, I could feel the distaste radiating off of him.

“What?” I managed to breathe out. Maybe I didn’t hear him correctly.

“You’ve let yourself go,” he repeated. “Look at you, you’re even spilling out of your bikini. I thought maybe when you said we were going on a cruise you would take it as an opportunity to get in shape again. Apparently I was wrong.”

He took my silence as an excuse to keep talking. Ranting about all of the things that were evidentially wrong with me. Too much fat on my thighs, too much around my waist, too much gathered on my stomach, even my breasts were too big now. I wrapped my arms around myself as he talked, trying to cover up and hide away from his harsh words, until eventually he said something that snapped me out of it.

“I don’t even want to be seen out in public with you looking like that,” he snarled.

“Well then, you don’t have to,” I snapped back. “Because this is over. We’re done. I’m leaving.”

“That’s it? You’re not even going to fight for this relationship?” He yelled as he watched me roughly shove the cover up dress over my head.

“Fight for it? By doing what, loosing weight? Starving myself so I can ‘meet your standards’?” I laughed harshly in his face. “You don’t see me complaining to you about your balding head.”

His hands immediately went to touching his hair as he turned to find the nearest mirror.

“My hair is not balding,” he whined.

“Try taking a mirror to the back of your head and then tell me that,” I said.

Unfortunately he wasn’t balding as much as I would have liked in this moment. The patch of visible skin on the crown of his head was hardly noticeable to the average passerby. But having known and been with John for years, I was seeing the pattern increase a little bit each year. Not fast enough now for my anger though. I used to think it was kind of cute. A reminder that we were aging together. Every time I would notice it I would get visions of us old and grey and bald, sitting on rocking chairs together as we complained about the days youths.

Now I just wanted to see that head of his shoved into some mud or something.

Angrily, I shoved my bathroom belonging’s back into my suitcase, roughly pulling the zipper to get it to close. I picked up dress from the floor, quickly pulling it over my head as I shoved my sandals back onto my feet, made sure I had my phone, and started to drag the suitcase with me out the door.

“Where do you even think you’re going to go? We’ve already left the port!” John yelled as I neared the door.

“I don’t know, and I don’t fucking care! As long as it’s away from you!” I yelled right back and stormed out the door.

He made a good point, I realized as I stalked down the hallway. We were already floating in the middle of the ocean by now, with the sun almost completely set. But there was no way I would be sharing a bed with that asshole for the next week.

How could he even say those things about me? And to my face, no less. It’s true. I did gain weight over the last year. I went up three pant sizes and two bra cup sizes. But I figured since we’d already been together for a while that he was used to me and my size. He never gave any indication before. Sure when we met I was small, but I was also younger then and had a very active job. Then I got laid off and replaced that job with an office job, took up baking as a side hustle, and obviously I taste tested everything I made.

Determined to figure out my sleeping arrangements before it got pitch black outside, I pushed all thoughts of John into the back of my mind. I made my way to the cruise ship lobby, where a few people were milling about looking at excursion brochures or just sitting in some of the overly big chairs decorating the room.

“Excuse me?” I spoke softly to the front desk attendant as to not draw attention from the other guests in the lobby. “Hi, I’m from room 209. I was wondering if there’s a room I can switch into please.”

“I’m sorry, Miss. We’re sold out.” The attendant informed me with a most definitely fake sad face.

“You’re kidding. A cruise ship this big and you don’t even have one extra room?”

“We had a few large groups book up multiple chunks of rooms. So no, I’m sorry. We don’t have extra space.”

Not wanting to stir up attention and make a scene, I thanked them for their help even though they were unhelpful, and turned away from the desk.

“Great,” I mumbled to myself as I walked away.

“Excuse me? I have an extra bed in my room if you need a place to stay.” I heard the voice coming up behind me. I slowed my pace until the person came to a stop in front of me.

The voice belonged to a very handsome tall man, with wild curls, a bit of facial hair, soft eyes, and a small smile. He wore a rather odd outfit for a cruise ship. Brown dress pants and a purple collared shirt with a knitted vest overtop. I was sweating already in a bikini and a light white dress, so he must be scorching underneath that getup.

“Oh, thank you so much for that offer, sir. But I’ll just bunk with one of my other friends, it’s okay.” I told him, not wanting to let some stranger in on my relationship problems. Before he had a chance to reply I walked off as fast as I could without it seeming like I was trying to run away from him. I’m sure his intentions were good. But you can’t trust people randomly like that.

I ended up wandering the ship for another hour, passing by the entertainment lounge that I had so badly wanted to be in hours ago. I also passed a games room, a gym which gave me bad feelings after the breakup that just occurred, as well as a library. With options running slim, I slipped into that library and rolled my suitcase to a secluded chair in the back. It was already pretty late, and I was so exhausted from the day of traveling to get to the boat and the events that followed, so as soon as I curled up in the chair I fell asleep.

It felt like a second later when someone was tapping on my shoulder waking me up. Groggily, I cracked my eyes open and looked up at the offender.

“Miss, I’m sorry, but it’s after midnight and the library is closed. You can’t sleep in here,” they said. It was a staff member who hardly looked old enough to be legal drinking age. When I didn’t reply, they continued. “If you don’t leave I’m going to have to call security to escort you out, and I really don’t want to have to do that.”

Well great. There went my plan to spend the night in the library and get off the boat at tomorrows dock and somehow figure out my way back home to Virginia. Before I could even stand up from the chair, the man from earlier was back at my shoulder.

“Hey, there you are. I’ve been looking for you for ages, sorry we got split up before I could give you the room key.” He was saying as he helped me get out of the chair. He looked over to the employee, “Sorry, we were meant to meet up when we got on the ship and somehow ended up getting separated. I didn’t mean for her to fall asleep in the library after hours. We’ll be on our way now.”

I was too tired to protest as I let the man grab my suitcase and escort me out of the library. We went up the elevator to the top floor, which my tired brain knew was the floor with the most expensive rooms. It was hard to pay attention to where we were going as I was pretty much asleep on my feet, but eventually we arrived at his room. I saw enough of it to confirm that he wasn’t lying about having an extra bed, before I was falling onto said bed and promptly passing out.

Thank you so much for reading! Please consider reblogging or giving it a like to show your support!

#spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid/reader #spencer reid/fem reader #alleys writing

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wanderlust-in-my-soul · 1 year ago

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Currently Watching - June

Because I love a good little list - in alphabetical order! 😊

Regularly updated during the month, latest update 30.06.2023

Here you can find my weekly roundup that goes into a bit more detail about each episode.

And a little link to my favorite bl-tropes-collection 💙

This is guaranteed to contain spoilers!

1. Alice in Borderland Season 1 (1/8 on Netflix, no bl)

One day I was in the mood for some dystopian and uncomfortable watch and here we are. After that day I needed something cuddly and colorful, so I guess it will take me a while to finish it. But the first episode was really good.

2. Be My Favorite (6/12 on Youtube)

At first glance, Kawi is a loser. At second glance, a crazy loser. When he tries to travel back in time to change his life, it doesn't necessarily go in the direction he had in mind or Pisaeng, the later husband of Kawi's crush. But this series is so much more. Kawi is like our inner voice of insecurities and inadequacies. And it is like healing a little bit watching him gaining a little bit more self confidence and self love.

3. Dinosaur Love (1/10 on iQiyi)

This is a hellfire of a show. It is bad. But I had a blast. I can't tell you what it is about, because I have no clue! All I know is I love it. It is so bad, that it is good!

4. His Man Season 2 (5/14 on Gaga)

The korean dating show is back! I loved the first season and the second just started really good. I guess there will be some drama in those 14 episodes, but the first dates were so cute! I am looking forward to next week!

5. King the Land (3/16 on Netflix, no bl)

You know the feeling, you wake up in the morning and you're craving some good korean romance drama? That happend t me today and so I just thought give this a shot and it is good. Cheon Sa Rang works as a concierge at the King Of The Land Hotel and there she always has to wear a smile, fake or real doesn't matter. She meets the new boss in town Gu Won, who just can't stand fake smiles, but I guess her beautiful and real smile will make him fall head over heals.

6. La Pluie (9/12 on iQiyi)

Saengtai goes deaf whenever it rains. The only voice he can hear in his head is his soulmate's one. But he refuses to answer it, because Tai doesn't believe in things like love or soulmates. That is until he meets his soulmate for the first time and his soulmate is a such a cutie, that Saengtai cannot longer fight against his destiny. It is surprisingly good and funny and charming.

7. See you in my 19th life (3/12 on Netflix, no bl)

It was a suggestion, sounded interesting, so I watched it and I really enjoyed the first episode. Ban Ji Eum is able to remember her past lifes. Her 18th one ended way too soon and in her now 19th life she wants to meet the one person again, who brought her joy again after 100 years of being tired of reincarnating and remembering all the pasts lifes. A very interesting concept and I like how bold and confident Ban Ji Eum is.

8. Shigatsu no Tokyo wa... (3/8 on Gaga or Viki)

Kazuma and Ren were close friends during middle school and now meet again years later after their ways parted. We get some cute flashbacks and much cuter interactions in the here and now. I really enjoyed this first episode. It has potential, I like the hair tousle.

9. Sparks Camp (5/8 on Youtube)

Philippines's first gay dating reality show! And it's giving you everything you're looking for! Well at least a bunch of cute and cringy moments! And I am sold!

10. Step by Step (10/12 on Gaga)

Employee meets boss without knowing who he has met and crushes hard on him, just tells him what everyone thinks about the new boss and is just adorably clumsy infront of him. I adore the friend group! I hope we get to see them support Pat a lot. But there is more...An ex who is not quite out of the window yet, a toxic work enviorment, with some really sweet rays of hope in between, a second couple I lost my heart for (again the side dish...), which might be a little bit problematic, but who cares? Well, at least not me.

11. The Luminous Solution (5/6 on Gaga)

Every wish comes with a price...We meet Thana and Patis, a couple of over a decade. While Thana tries to holds closeness to his partner, Patis is working non stop at the hospital and doesn't see that his partner is suffering. And now Thana lost his job and his mother is in depth. One evening he enters a very special café, which only shows itsself to people who are in deep need for a wish. But can you pay the price? As a second couple we meet Mai and Ryou, who become enemies on the first day of school and who will have some obstacles to overcome to be together. And there is Ryous best friend, I guess he has a huge crush on Ryou. How they will end up in the café? I don't know, but I am intrigued.

12. Tie The Not (2/8 on Youtube)

And another Pinoy BL from Onix Films. It is a miniseries and it shows. The plot is a little bit rushed and not really round.

Finished in June

Series

Our Skyy 2 (16/16 on Youtube)

This one is telling what happens after the happily ever after of our favorites of the last two years. We have some supernatural stuff, some boring stuff, some cringe stuff and some fluff stuff. Over all I wasn't that excited. I really liked My School President and the last part of A Tale of thousand stars. Besindes that it was not that special to me. I give it a 6 out of 10 (mostly because all the PhuTian fluffiness we've got)

2. Bokura no Shokutaku (9/10 on Gaga)

This is a comfort watch. Hozumi Yutaka likes to cook and is good at it, but he can't eat infront of other people. Meeting Tane and his older brother Ueda Minoru his life seems to change and he may finally have found what his body and soul were longing for. It had some tense moments, but in the end it felt really comforting and calming. It wasn't that hectic or full of drama. It is a very good adaptation and I liked it very much. A good 9 out of 10 for me.

3. A Business Proposal (10/10 on Netflix - no bl)

Can a fake relationship with a lots of lies from all sides end up being true love? Yes it can I and I loved their journey. I loved to see how Kang Tae slowly fell for Shin Ha Ri and how he tried to get her to date him for real. This was just a cute watch and it made my sunday just very comfy and I had a lot of fun. Totally binge watch material. For me a 8,5 out of 10.

4. My Story (9/10 on Youtube)

Now I have a problem. I really liked the side dish couple, Zeke and Fifth, but the main story around Sky and Win was just a little bit boring, especially at the beginning. And I didn't like the whole drunk kissing and just forgetting everything the next morning. With only Zeke and Fifth this would be a better rating, but with everything else around I have to remove some points... I give it a 6,5 out of 10. Now I have a problem. I really liked the side dish couple, Zeke and Fifth, but the main story around Sky and Win was just a little bit boring, especially at the beginning. And I didn't like the whole drunk kissing and just forgetting everything the next morning. With only Zeke and Fifth this would be a better rating, but with everything else around I have to remove some points... I give it a 6,5 out of 10.

5. Hometown Cha Cha Cha (16/16 on Netflix)

This is such a wholesome and feel-good series. Even though it dealt with some really tough trauma and I was bawling my eyes out, I loved it and it felt overall good. Sometimes it was a little bit too sweet and especially the later episodes just didn't fit with the beginning of the series. I am very happy, I gave this one a try! Overall 8,5 out of 10 for me.

6. Love Tractor (6/8 on iQiyi)

City boy meets Farm boy who is a little innocent puppy and city boy can't stop falling in love with this pure soul. I read the manhwa and I loved it and this adaptation cut a LOT out, but it was so cute and good and lovable! The characters really fit the original source. Almost perfect. And we get a really good kiss! So extra points here. For me a 9,5 out of 10.

7. Zenra Meshi aka Naked Dining (12/12 on Gaga)

Not gonna lie, this one was exhausting for big parts. I guess it is about fate and two people meant to be together, and that would have been really nce and sweet, but there was so much bad drama. In my opinion the girl new that Souta had a Crush on Mahiro. Her trying to date him anyways and getting annoyed that he spends so much time with the other person was just...annyoing. And the communication and misunderstandings...It could have been something better in my opinion. And there was definitely too little naked dining. It is a 6,5 out of 10 for me.

Short Film

Movie

1. Restart After Come Back Home (on Gaga)

This one is about finding your place in life, accepting others and yourself for the way they are and about hope and forgiveness, family and love. It is a wholesome and beautiful movie. I must admit, first I didn't like both of our mains, but I guess that is part of the plan, because as they grow during the movie I became more and more fond of them. I give it a 9 out of 10.

Rewatched in June

1. History 2: Crossing The Line

It is always good to come back here. I like how both of the leads fall for eah other. To see the struggle Qiu Zi Xuan has with allowing himself to have feelings for Xia Yu Hao. And how sure Xia Yu Hao is about his own feelings. And it has volleyball. Not that I am a big fan, but I like sport bls.

2. Sweet Curse

A korean short film about a friend who is jealouse of the popular guy and summons a ghost to hunt said friend. But the friend falls in love with the ghost and the ghost with him and we get a weird and unconventional, but cute and steamy lovestory. Well, in Strongberry we trust.

Dropped/On-Hold in June

Looking forward to in June

Aki wa Haru to Gohan wo Tabetai aka Let's Eat Together (In Japanese Cinema on June 2)

Ever After (Youtube on June 3)

Tin Tem Jai Special (Youtube on June 3)

Love Tractor (iQiyi on June 7)

Shigatsu no Tokyo wa... aka Tokyo in April (Viki and Gaga on June 16)

Tie The Not (Youtube June 24)

Dinosaur Love (iQiyi on June 25)

His Man Season 2 (Gaga on 23rd)

The Internship

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hunsa-jars · 1 year ago

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man

Heyy things are pretty busy and exhausting right now, but I promise I'm trying to be brave about it

Might pop up here tomorrow

Or the day after tomorrow- this week sometime, or I'll go bonkers

Gonna queue this because I really shouldn't be distracting myself more than I already do nhdfdh

Haghhhh I miss you all, I'll be back

(uhh life update under the cut? to the folks who are curious, kinda wanted to mention these at some point anyways)

OI HI TO THE PEOPLE WHO STAYED HOW'S IT GOING

Remember that I said that my phone might be still alive after all? Well.. yeah, no, that was a false alarm, it really did kick the bucket. Temporarily using my sister's old phone until I get a new one this Christmas

And because I'm the way I am, I refuse to change anything about it- like I can't stand the idea of getting used/attached to it when I know in a couple of weeks I'm gonna give it back, so..

So yeah, I don't want to go through the procedures of logging into everything, including Tumblr

I've been avoiding going here anyway, so technically it helps :''')

My attention span is so awful you guys, so mad at myself 24/7 for always looking for excuses to not do my studying routine

Speaking of studying, this is the last week of uni for this year!

BUT exam period is starting next week and I have like 3 exams before Christmas, so fun

Uhhhh remember the board game I mentioned making? Teacher loved it and wants to display it for the university's open day. Pretty glad, worked hard on that thing (even tho it could have been better)

Gonna show you guys once I get it back

Uhhhh did my best with my recorder, my hands were shaking, but the teacher could tell I was only messing up because I was nervous as balls, and not because I didn't know the songs, thank god

My grandma is doing well! Well.. better. We keep her company. My cousins come to visit us twice a week now, so no silent Saturdays or Sundays

FINALLY figured out how to use emulators, so between studying for the January exams and relative visits, I'm gonna finally play Animal Crossing and Earthbound properly (I think I've mentioned using online emulators before, but those distorted the music so much I just couldn't continue with it)

Also was anybody going to tell me that OFF is free?

And Yume Nikki?? On Steam?????? Hello??

Umm also! My little brother sat down with me last Saturday and made me watch Murder Drones (he's hyperfixating and wanted to pass it onto me, spoilers: IT WORKED)

Oh my goodness... that show................................. Plan for another flooding

What else, uh- we're on season 2 of AOT, it's insane, it makes me insane, I wish I could say more without going unhinged

I... i think that's all

To the people who've been tagging me the past few days I SEE YOU ALL, THANK YOU FOR THINKING OF ME, I'LL GET TO IT

Well

See you guys later this week, hopefully, please take care

#random squeak #i swear that i loved queue #<- new queue tag #yes i finally decided on one #this ended up being scheduled btw but still wanted keep the tag

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fluffykitteninabox · 1 year ago

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watching Doctor Who for the first time (starting with the 9th doctor)

I'm only doing this because I've developed an unhealthy obsession with David Tennant since watching Good Omens, and I have a need to watch everything he's ever appeared in, and I know he's the 10th and 14th doctor so therefore I must watch 15 seasons of a show I otherwise wouldn't have cared about just to see him for 3 of them and a few specials!

I'm starting with the 9th because it seems like an easier starting point for a new fan from what I've read online

yes I've done research for this!

Plus the 9th doctor only got one season so it's close enough to the 10th that I don't mind watching it.

I am a completionist though so I will probably end up going back and watching the available episodes from before the revival if I like the series enough

so here's my thoughts

episode 1:

I hope we never see moving mannequins again because that shit creeps me out

honestly Rose, same. I too would have chosen the life of adventure and time travelling to infinite universes. Though I do think it felt kinda rushed to have her refuse and then immediately agree after she was told about the time travel part. Would be a cool opening if she refused on the first episode and then she spent the next one thinking about it and then changed her mind by the end. Or if we want to stick to the self contained structure show a bit more about her not liking her ordinary boring life so that it feels like a great offer when the doctor asks her to join him. I mean it does still feel like a great offer after she saved him and saying all that stuff about how she doesn't have anything to lose and gymnastics and all that. It's the back and forth that ruins it a bit honestly. Just have her say yes the first time.

I didn't know the tardis was an acronym! That's kinda cool

so is Rose never going to see her mom or her boyfriend again?

episode 2:

Alright I take it back she has doubts in episode 2 so that's good

that was a hell of an episode I don't know how to phrase it I think it changed my brain chemistry

I might be having an existential crisis?

respect to the tree lady I don't remember her name sorry

ironic how all these aliens exhibited more humanity than the supposed "last human"

kinda sad for the poor plumber that probably died too, we focused a lot on the rich guests but the workers on the ship deserved better

one thing I appreciate is that Rose chose to see the future. my personal choice would have been past but I think her choosing future is really in character for her (I say as if I've known her my whole life when I've only watched 2 episodes)

didn't expect to unlock the doctor's back story so early on. I'm guessing there's more later but for now that's already more than I thought I'd get

um yeah I was going to watch like the whole season in one or two sittings but like... I feel like my brain needs a break after episode two lol

well I was planning this post to have all my thoughts for season 1 but tumblr decided to go ahead and post my unfinished draft AGAIN even though I specifically clicked the SAVE button but anyway

guess I'll have to edit this or reblog as I go

whatever

fuck you tumblr

#krista's doctor who marathon #doctor who #9th doctor

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brigdh · 1 year ago

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I can't stop thinking about rewriting S2. I don't know why – it's hard to find an activity that's actually less productive than writing fanfic, but surely this is it – but my brain won't stop circling around the idea, so I'm writing this down to hopefully shut it up.

A proposed outline for a better S2 of Our Flag Means Death.

Episodes 1-3 are pretty much the same as what aired. The big change is that I'm cutting out Prince Ricky. I think two big antagonists are too much for an eight episode season, though I went back and forth on whether to cut Zheng or Ricky. I decided on Ricky because the "end of piracy" plot is way too overwrought for a comedy series, and there's no way it was ever going to work without a lot of build-up. Like, a lot a lot. Possibly multiple seasons of it, and we just don't have time for that here. Also, although Ricky makes a fun foil to Stede, that never really goes anywhere. So he's gone. This doesn't make much of a difference to these first three episodes, since he's only in two scenes, but it will help tighten the focus at the end of the season. One other change is that it's clear (perhaps even referenced in dialogue) that Ed is still not killing anyone directly with his own hands.

Episode Four: This is where I start with the big changes, rewriting this whole episode. Now it's focused on the crew wanting to kick Ed off the ship. Stede goes back and forth between the crew and Ed, trying to talk the crew around while simultaneously trying to romance Ed. He fails on both sides. Perhaps we still have Ed's corporate "apology", as an attempt at compromise, but the crew refuses to accept it and this time, they're in charge. Lucius has his plot about being traumatized and drawing Ed's face everywhere (but not the resolution, not in this episode). Ed is angry at Stede – they get to have an actual fight, about Stede leaving, about Ed marooning the crew/tossing Lucius overboard, about Ed's mermaid dream vs Stede's masculine pirate hero dream. Ed fears he's unlovable, and Stede's unrealistic declarations of love are just making him feel like anything between them is impossible. (Maybe Ed & Izzy have a fight too – I'm not committed to including this, depending on time, but it could be good. Maybe Izzy gets to say, "A rotten leg's got to come off" to Ed!) At the end of the episode, Ed leaves the ship and tells Stede not to follow him. Everyone's angry and upset.

Episode Five: Ed spends the entire episode off the ship, throwing himself into his new career as a fisherman (it doesn't have to be fishing. It can be anything, as long as it's new. The point is Ed running away from himself and his past and trying to become an entirely new person). He's using a new name – Jeff? – and has a whole backstory he's made up. At the end of the episode, he realizes that this isn't making him happy either, because he keeps thinking about his guilt, about Stede, about Izzy or Lucius or whoever he centers on as someone's he's mistreated, and so he leaves.

Meanwhile, on board the Revenge, everyone's having a miserable time. This is where the 'traumatized crew comes together to make the unicorn leg' plot goes, except this time it's a three-sided hot mess, with the crew, Izzy, and Stede – heartbroken over his idealized view of 'true loves fixes everything' having crashed and burned in the previous episode. Buttons turns into a bird, but this time Stede is the one to witness it. It inspires him to patch things up with the crew and go after Ed. Together, they all come up with a motto for the season – something like, 'change is possible' or 'you've got to try again', idk, except it's probably cheesy and rhymes and yet is weirdly inspirational, a la 'talk it through as a crew'.

Episode Six: Ed runs into Anne Bonny and Mary Read, and goes to stay with them. Before Stede shows up, Ed gets a bit of time to talk and reminiscence with them about their own "good old days", back when he was happy. It becomes clear though, that remembering murder and torture and etc is not making him happy now. Ed asks them about feeling guilty. Their advice is terrible: only losers care. Ed laughs it off, but clearly is conflicted. Stede tracks him down, and the rest of the episode play out pretty much like it did in canon (I think Jenkins & co really wanted to do "Ed and Stede as exes at a party", so I am giving it to them here). However, the vibes are a bit different – it's less that Ed and Stede haven't spoken at all as in canon, but that they had their big fight in E4 and are now dealing with the awkward aftermath of wanting to make up, each wanting to maintain their pride, and not knowing how to do either. At the end, Stede gets the courage to put himself out there and asks Ed to come back to the ship. Ed refuses at first – the crew doesn't want him and he doesn't know how to be a better person. Stede passes on the motto the crew came up with in the previous episode – 'change is possible' or whatever – and Ed agrees to come and try. They have a brief, chaste, kiss.

The crew back on the Revenge should have a B-plot too. I love the cursed suit subplot and would stick it here, but honestly I'm not sure it works if Stede isn't around to be the pro-suit side of the debate. Maybe we have a training montage, but it's Izzy and the crew instead of Izzy and Stede. Whatever happens, we also get the Lucius and Pete proposal. This goes along with the hopeful, new beginnings vibe of what's happening with Ed/Stede.

Episode Seven: Ed and Stede return to the ship, and the crew agrees to let Ed try out their new motto. Calypso party preparations begin, but this time Ed is not just handing out money but taking part in finding and putting together decorations and set-up. We get scenes of him and different characters working together; things are awkward but improving. Izzy and Wee Jon can still do drag and sing. Ned Low shows up and disrupts the party.

The big change here: Ed is the one to kill Ned Low, not Stede. I love Stede's plot about becoming a pirate hero and killing and not dealing with it, but it's just too much for a season with a lot of other stuff going on. Sorry, Stede; your masculinity issues have to wait for S3.

Ed killing someone is portrayed as a very big deal. Ned is more dangerous here – it's seen as necessary for someone to kill him, and Ed taking on the role is cast as him becoming the protector of the crew rather than their tormentor. Nonetheless, despite Ned's death being a 'good' thing, Ed is traumatized and he and Stede still have ill-advised sex about it. Izzy can definitely still sing La Vie en Rose during.

Episode Eight: Zheng has (like in canon) been collecting all of the pirates in the Caribbean into her alliance. Now she's finally coming for the Revenge. It's them against dozens of ships. I think, since I'm making Zheng more of a straightforward antagonist than a reluctant ally, I have to break up Olu/Zheng. That's okay. In fact, it can make a nice parallel – sometimes people grow apart and it's not anyone's 'fault', it's just life. Are Stede and Ed also growing apart, or will they find a path forward together?

Stede comes up with what someone describes as a suicide mission. Ed says, 'what if we don't commit suicide?' He wants to live. He wants to be happy. He's still grappling with having killed Low, and he realizes that he can't do that again – can't even put himself in a situation where it might be kill or be killed. He proposes they surrender and just go and live on land somewhere. Why not? What is piracy good for, even, other than violence and theft? Izzy makes his speech about belonging to something. The crew – which has been swaying back and forth, debating both for and against fighting Zheng – is convinced, and decide to go to battle. Ed isn't. He agrees that community is important, that it was there when he needed it, that he'll always be glad he had it, but he can't stay. He's changing. This is him changing, for real. He and Izzy have a final exchange about Ed moving on and Izzy accepting it.

Ed and Stede have an emotional goodbye, where Ed says that he won't be like Anne & Mary – he won't let Stede leave piracy for him, but maybe Stede can come and visit some time. They make some long-distance relationship jokes. Ed leaves. They're both being ~super~ mature and adult about it, but they're clearly both not really happy.

Stede and the crew prepare for battle. Lucius and Pete get married, as a last hurrah for the Revenge in case not everyone survives the coming confrontation. They carry out Stede's plan (I don't know what that is, I'm not an action scene writer, something cool and out-of-the-box. Though it's not like 'dress up in British uniforms' was a unique and exciting plan either). They succeed, either by defeating Zheng or just escaping for now. (Does Izzy die in battle? It doesn't really seem necessary. If he does, it's clearly about becoming one of the crew and they're the ones his death scene centers on, since Ed isn't even there.) There's a big celebration scene and/or funeral, and everyone is bonding, people are cheering Stede's plan, but Stede himself can't join in wholeheartedly. He's off in the corner, clearly not quite satisfied. He pulls aside Frenchie and tells him, "I have something to give you".

The final scene: Ed is working on his new career. Maybe he's running a bar & grill in the Republic of Pirates. He's not hiding who he is, even using the Blackbeard name for PR, but it's not a fighting-focused career. Stede walks up, clearly unexpected, and Ed's like, "thought it'd take a lot longer for your first visit." Stede gets a big speech about piracy. Everyone's gotten to define it for themselves; for Ed it was about violence, for Izzy community. (Maybe some of the rest of the crew have gotten to voice their own takes as well.) Stede says that for him, piracy means freedom. That's what he was dreaming of, when he first set out to be a pirate, what he's been looking for his whole life – the freedom to be who he really is. Ed says, "and who are you?" Stede replies, "the man who loves you." They kiss.

We get an overhead shot, swinging out to sea, with the Revenge sailing away with Frenchie as captain. Distantly, we hear Ed and Stede talking as sound fades out –

Ed: You promise you're not going to burn down my bar when you get bored? Stede: Why would I be bored? I have so many ideas! Theme nights, cocktail recipes, waitstaff uniforms... Ed: Hey, what happened with Zheng? Stede: Oh, she might hunt me down for revenge. Another reason we won't be bored!

#there are probably a whole new set of plot-holes or accidental bad tropes in my version that I haven't noticed #but I wanted to try this out #our flag means death #ofmd season 2 #blackbonnet #gentlebeard #ofmd meta #also honestly I don't love the “Ed gives up piracy” beat myself but if we're going to aim for Ed & Stede retiring at the end of the season #it's the only way I could make it work

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hoenn-hakase · 9 months ago

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Anniversary: The Story Thus Far

With the 10th Anniversary Super Gauntlet going on, my brain has kicked into overdrive this week thinking about some of the lore concepts to come up. Of course, at this point we've only done Red, Bootleg Yellow (yes, I'm counting it), Gold and Silver, so we've still got a LOT of games to cover before we get into the plot, but ideas are already flowing. Things may change, but I just wanted to get down some current thoughts down while I've got it.

So one plotline the Lorecord has been playing around with for a few years now is that our last season, S10, took place in a Post Apocalyptic universe that S9 had been building up to (I wanna make a separate post on this) and we finally got an arc ending payoff with Wilting Y. Each person has their own thoughts on the timeline and what events led to this and what the aftermath was, but my gosh that moment we collectively went "OH SNAP" when connecting Mega Aerodactyl to Yveltal, there's no the question of what's going on in the Super Gauntlet.

Super Gauntlet is all vanilla games being played completely on real hardware systems. This opens us up to a lot of features we've never had access to! It's exciting but having all of the regions in their vanilla states feels like a new era. The world was rebuilt It's been centuries since The End. Someone hit restart on the universe. All thoughts that have come up in discussion before. But then something interesting came up: Our first loss.

Now I personally don't think a run needs Releases to become "interesting" but it can lead to some really fascinating ideas as we try to make sense of the loss. In this case, we were fighting over the need for Cut to continue the game. Our options were: 1) evolve the Kakuna (Simon) we already had in the party so Beedrill could learn Cut. Unfortunately, there was a pretty dedicated group of evolution cancellers, so doable but proving difficult. 2) With patience wearing thin, we could just deposit someone and go catch an Oddish. (Which is what eventually happened.) 3) It may be difficult, but we had a Spearow in the PC so if we needed to use it anyway to deposit someone, we could grab the bird then trade it for Dux, just like we did in the original Red run. But people were scared of the PC and for good reason, since sure enough we had a PC war break out and Marvin "Mushmouth" the Squirtle, Simon the Kakuna, and yes, even the Spearow, were all Released.

But interestingly enough, someone proposed that Dux was the one behind this. The question quickly became why. Maybe... just maybe... because this Dux was the same as the one from Original Red. That maybe Dux was trying to avoid the fate that killed him before. Maybe because he saw this group of relic hunters and knew that Ash did not have the most noble intentions in grabbing the Helix Fossil and would actually unleash an even greater threat in his quest chasing rumors and legends and whispers of the bygone era. Ash clearly obsessed about the past when it seemed almost everyone had forgotten about it. He spent hours at the museum in Pewter to learn about the gods and set out from home with a dream. He had already obtained things like the Helix Fossil, the Town Map, the Bicycle, all symbols of Chosen past and surely more to come. Maybe the death of Marvin and Simon was truly an accident but now that Dux has "awoken" the memories of his past life, he now starts a new personal quest to follow the Chosen to stop the Voices from destroying everything again. Which Dux may have been right about Ash sadly since the kid eventually did NOT revive Helix but eventually went out of his way to obtain the mysterious Missingno named Bucket who he used a few other times to expand his riches. Put a pin there, I'll get into his fate later.

And then it was added that we meet a Farfetch'd in Ilex Forrest too. Maybe the next time we would meet Dux. Maybe he was still traded by the little girl to someone else and that's why he refuses to listen to the Woodcutter's assistant. Now that he's aware of all of this, he ran from owner to find Celebi and get answers about these strange memories of a past life. Why is this happening? What happened before? Something to definitely look out for once we saw the stories of Gold and Silver.

Well, GS dual runs came up and we could see that the twins Raymond (Gold) and Xyler / Xylver (Silver) have very different personalities with Xy often taking advantage of his brother to expand on his own power and speed on ahead by wrecking anything and anyone in his path. He caught a Ledian early on, who has become associated as the Incarnation of Olden just as one would say Helix is an Omanyte (even if there have been times we've said not all Omanyte are Helix) and much later on it gained an on-again-off-again teammate status further solidifying Xy's reputation for being a "morally gray" character. All the more telling that he failed to get either of the Tower Duo while Raymond was able to get both. Raymond is a sweet kid, and a good kid. After his brother took his Chikorita and left him with a Geodude, Raymond stayed loyal to his rock friend and eventually got a Golem. He had a Slowpoke he made a king. He had the patience and kindness to evolve his Eevee into an Umbreon, and yes, he eventually befriended Ho-oh and carried it to League.

I mention all this because even if they seem like a pair of ordinary kids, no grandiose backstories (yet) or cool occupation, something of great interest came up towards the end. For one, we were told this was not a race but by gosh did it get treated like one. Johto lasted about a day and a half. Xyler beat the League while Raymond was still in Blackthorn City and just to dunk on him, he beat it a second time while Raymond was trying to win the first time. (In truth it's because we had one VERY dedicated player who wanted to get Ledian it's promised place in the Hall of Fame) But we got to the Trainer House in Viridian City and discovered we had some guests! Ritchie was one of our side game hosts from Yellow about a year or two ago, and NEEKO was from a Silver run from about the same period.

Neeko is especially curious to see here though because during his run, he was able to pull off some ACE glitchery most notably turning the Sudowoodo into a Celebi named ASUS. It was also said about this time that when we played Blazing Emerald Redo as a side game it was to wash the awful taste out of the community's collective mouth after some of the things that happened during our original Blazing Emerald run. There had also been joking how we ~never~ got to use the Pokemon Agony had before. And we sure ~never~ got to see some of the places that only exist in BE before. So there was some lore that Neeko used his own reality warping powers and Time Guardian friend to "erase" Blazing Emerald from the timeline. Agony.... Is another tale for another time, but let's just say I hc he did not take the idea of "fading from existence as everyone he loved forgets about him as some sort of punishment for things outside his control while he STILL suffers the consequences" very well. Neeko probably means well? But him showing up to beat down Xy (he swept us in the first encounter) is not a good sign for our power seeking scamp because Neeko has literally destroyed people before, he would do it again if he thought it would fix things. AND WORSE he's got ties to Celebi which brings us back full circle that maybe the one Dux was working for / went to meet in the forest with, was none other than Neeko. And given Xy's bad luck with birds (even his flier was "borrowed" after Raymond picked up Kenya then traded it to him) who better to thwart / keep an eye on this punk than the Leek Knight himself here to fulfill the divine duty he never got to fulfill?

And maybe he did. Maybe he didn't. I have two thoughts that if he did, what happened. 1) Neeko "erased" Xy's original adventure where we don't know and don't want to think about what he did to catch Neeko's attention when there was no one to stop him. This second time having Raymond go with him / instead of him may be specifically to stop that path of events from happening again. 2) Xy may have been the target but Neeko may have learned from his mistakes. Instead of going after him directly like he did with Agony, he tried to change the course by instead going after Ash. 3) ... Both are simultaneously true.

Ah yes, still got that pin?

Now before we started SGRed, we played a few intermission games to test out the system in preparation for the official run. One of those was Bootleg Yellow. We didn't finish it though, but we had a hero named Ash and he picked up a Squirtle so connections are there already. Since Missingno messed up our Hall of Fame data, we discovered that Ash was "dreaming of Marvin" as we watched a mini HoF play out with a corrupted Squirtle image. After the run, we got to go back and finish Yellow. Interestingly, since Ash had a full pack when he beat Giovanni, we had no space for the Fissure TM. Game Freak thought of this, so Giovanni doesn't disappear until you take it. So it looks like in SGR, Team Rocket never disbanded. BUT in Bootleg Yellow there's a greater focus on Team Rocket if I understand right and the League Rematch replaced Gary with Jessie and James as Champion. So Ash did end up finishing off Team Rocket so Johto events could proceed as they should. But how this came about is because after Yellow we have been playing Stadium2 with our games plugged in. There's a feature in Stadium2 that both lets you play the GB cartridges from an arcade mode and allows you to bring Pokemon from said cartridges into the arenas. Ash tried to withdraw Bucket and of course the game crashed. This seemed like The End for him. Except timeline wise this may have been what "saved" him assuming he completed Red, failed to defeat Team Rocket, whatever happened between Neeko and Xy the first time, Neeko went back and ripped Ash out of this Bad End but by doing so Ash ended up starting over in Yellow. Further complicating things is either Ritchie is here because while Ash had to set up events for Xy, Raymond didn't have that problem because Ritchie had done it. They're cool, just hanging out. That may mean when Neeko tried to fix things with Ash though, he accidentally booted out Ritchie. Alternatively, it could be that since the world is having these moments of repetition, Ritchie being a Chosen never forgot the old world and had his Yellow adventures ages ago. Seeing things play out (albeit differently this time) he's just here because he's worried about his home and wished nothing but the best for Ash. Which he did good so now Ritchie is just keeping an eye on things because he knows Neeko and is nervous about what he's up to. Please don't erase anyone this time. That caused such a mess... On the upside, whatever terror Neeko thought Xy might do didn't come to pass. Interestingly, ASUS ended up being the name of Xy's rival, so it's possible the redhead jerk was actually Celebi in disguise all along checking in on Xy to make sure he was good this time. Or ASUS being so aggressive was because he kept failing to stop Xy since he kept losing. It's funny then to think Neeko only showed up in the post game after having an "aw crap" reaction to Xy getting to the League miles ahead of Raymond but then Xy let his brother catch up. Only because like the Tortoise and the Hare he got cocky. Raymond defeated Red first so he kinda won the game. Red was vanilla Red of course so I'm not quiiiite sure what significance that would mean for Xy to reach him second. And with Ash and Ritchie around, technically we're not even sure who this Red is but it was (possibly) important to Neeko either way. So since Raymond won, that did ..... something??? We'll see.

But going back to Ash now. Why would he not have his team when starting over? Because after GS we went back to Stadium2 where Ash's team has been crumbling because of technicalities. First we ended up trading Bucket to Raymond but this turned it into a normal Ditto so it's no longer a cursed abomination. Ash could technically get Bucket back, but it'll never be the same. We also evolved our Onix into a Steelix so that's nice for him, but Ash can never bring him home now since Steelix would create a time paradox. So that's two members gone. As much as Ash cares about Pixie I bet he wouldn't dare risk her or the others remaining on a second journey if he started over in Yellow. Buuuut alternatively, Ash falling through a crack in the space-time thanks to Neeko may have honestly made him forget what happened. Was Red all just a dream? He's waking up 10 years old again being told Oak is waiting to give him his first Pokemon... Man, it was a nice dream being all action hero and finding creatures that shouldn't exist and all that. But... Just like Dux, it's possible as he went along this journey, even as things are slightly different, he's getting memories of what feels like another world. Another life... What happened to him?

And that now has my mind racing over other characters who may have had memories stirred. Ash's rival was named Blue. Is it the one from Original Red? From Gauntlet? What does he remember? Does Lance have this sinking feeling that for all his fame and fortune he's missing something? He had a wife, a whole family back in Naljo before the world fell apart. And now he's met not one but three new Chosen, how much deja vu is he getting from TPP shenanigans over the years? I have some thoughts on them, but that's for another post subject.

But for now, we got Ruby and Sapphire coming up on Monday!! And you know it's about this point in the series the stakes start rising. We've taken on mere mortals, now let's save the world from primordial titans! .... Good luck heroes.

#twitch plays pokemon #Long post #Haji babbles #Super Gauntlet #SGRed #SGGold #SGSilver #Happy 10 Years TPP #TPP Ash #Xyler Zee #Raymond Zee

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