#i refuse to apologise for the person i will become once this comes out

[cornfieldsrambles]

IT'S HERE IT'S ACTUALLY HAPPENING OH MY GOD EVERYONE STAY CALM GET INTO POSITION HOLY SHIT AAAAAAA

oh okay okay it's next week nerdy prudes is next week EVERYBODY STAY CALM STAY CALM OMG

[onewingeddove444]

★How the bachelors would react if they accidentally made you cry

word count: 1.1k

Alex:

-would probably not even notice you're crying at first

-his expression would change so quickly

-😀😦

-kind of knew he had it coming though, since a lot of the stuff that flies out of his mouth is....well😇

-would IMMEDIATELY start taking the blame, saying things like "nahhh i didn't actually mean that i lied haha no idea why i said that i'm so stupid" ((starts blaming it on his hormones being affected by working out or something😭😭))

-hesitates at first, but pulls you into the tightest embrace you've ever felt ngl probably hurts a little lol

-his way of apologising to you is saying "you can punch me as hard as you want, i deserve it!!!!"

-starts treating you like royalty for another month, to the point where it becomes annoying

-every time you bring it up, even as a joke, he basically drops to his knees and starts apologising all over again

Elliott:

-if you thought this man was already dramatic as it is....lord🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

-would try to be cool about it, while in his head he's already pressing a dagger to his neck, saying that he has now betrayed his heart and doesn't want to go on any longer

-the moment he sees tears flowing down your face, the only word able to come out of his mouth is a soft "no, no, no..."

-he'd probably start crying with you😭😭😭

-starts whispering the most loving and kind things about yourself into your ear

-literally compares you to the most breathtaking images you could ever envision

-alternative scenario, where he just drops to the floor and starts begging for your forgiveness, even though what he said wasn't really that bad

-after that, he checks up on you every 5 minutes, to make sure you're not upset with him

-would swear on his life and soul to never hurt you again ((mind you it was never that serious😭))

-writes you so many short poems...atp they just become a whole book

Harvey:

-man....😭

-probably hurts him more than it does you lmao

-you crying would be too much for him already...but crying because of him?? ouuu

-is ready to completely retract what he said, even if he's absolutely right, that just doesn't matter to him anymore

-he just stands there for a good amount of time, since he really doesn't know how to deal with these kinds of emotions

-this might just be the first time this man has made someone cry because...let's be fr☠️

-would do that thing where he cups your cheeks and wipes your tears with his thumbs ((after that he's kinda clueless though😭))

-this literally being his worst nightmare...in his eyes hurting you is the equivalent of failing as a partner...and he's not really allowed to fail too often🙁

-would wait 30 years until you're not upset with him ((it takes you exactly 1 minute btw)), and after that it's flowers delivered to your doorstep every day of the week

-even if it were to be a one-time occurrence, he would NEVER EVER forget it, and he would always justify spoiling you with it ((using the 4 cents he makes from the clinic👎))

Sam:

-he is not that smart when it comes to verbalising thoughts please forgive him

-says things like "aw man you're crying😔😔😔😭😭“

-if he's holding a drink or eating something, he offers it to you, even if there's a single bite/sip left of it

-refuses to smile until he's 100% sure you've forgiven him, otherwise he just looks like this: :--(

-low-key fighting for his life not to pull out his phone and google "how to comfort crying person wikihow"

-once you tell him that it's okay between you two bro gets jolly, running around in circles, giggling, twirling his hair and laying down kicking his feet up

-the thing he did that upset you could've been minor, but that still doesn't stop him from saying "man...😔🤦 i'm so glad this chapter is behind us now.." like okay???😭😭😭 ((bonus points if he describes this as a "rough patch" in your relationship))

-tries making something for you after, fails miserably, resorts to showing you cool skateboard tricks he learned off of youtube

-learns his lesson and actually thinks more before he says something ((to the best of his ability))

-promises to write a song about your love and go platinum ((shows it to sebastian and gets banned from writing lyrics for the band forever))

Sebastian:

-freezes immediately

-literally unable to get a single word out, what is he supposed to do in his situation😭

-manages to whisper "i didn't mean..." and proceeds to go quiet after that

-he's been living a sheltered life for a very long time, so he's really scared that whatever he says it will only hurt you even more

-you can definitely see his expression change...not only does it soften but he looks UPSET upset, mostly with himself

-pulls you into a hug, hoping that it'll help a little bit ((it does, bro seems like a good hugger))

-asks you if there's anything he can do to cheer you up, and let me tell you he'd really do anything

-does not let you go for the rest of the day, having his arm wrapped around you, holding your hand, even if it's just the pinky fingers touching

-you have to keep reassuring him that it's okay now, he literally hits you with the "are you sure you're not mad at me?" every 3 seconds just to make sure you guys are good🙏

-lets you touch whatever you want in his room, i'm talking elementary school pictures, old sketchbooks, it's all yours, no matter how humiliating

Shane:

-um...uh😭🙅‍♀️

-yeah he is PISSED he's made you cry, he might've been mean when he first saw you, but now??? that is just not allowed in his mind idc

-jumps to self-deprecation immediately, talking about how he's an asshole, how he always fucks things up (🙁)

-just takes the whole blame on himself, no problem with that

-kind of saw this happening in the nearest future, that man does not have a very good opinion of himself let's be honest😭

-you could tell him you forgive him and he'd be like "nah don't do that wtf i don't deserve it😔"

-doesn't try comforting you at first, since he just assumes that you might never want to see him again

-but after the dust settles he reassures you that he's going to do everything to make sure this doesn't happen again

-sends you musty frozen pizza in the mail in retaliation (sigh🙁)

-would love to pretend this never happened, but making you cry really took a hit on his self-esteem, however it also made him think about how to be the best partner you can have

[yandere-yearnings]

Okay but see I'm so petty I would ignore vio forever now until he apologized that man needs to get on his mf knees if he even wanted me to look his damn direction fr

the promised continuation of the vio angst🥰 i didn't screenshot all the asks requesting for it bc then this would just be a very long post of nonnies slowly cursing vio out more and more violently with each pic ahaha (which i love tbh😩💕) but know that i've read each and every single one🥺🩷 i wrote this one in his third-person limited so there's a bit more insight into his thoughts❗❗

(that being said, there isn't much grovelling and his asking for your forgiveness here which i'm really sorry abt. i did try to go that route originally to align w/ some of the requests i've gotten, but vio actually just isn't the type. at least at the point in the relationship being depicted!! gotta keep in mind he is super arrogant and has probably never apologised once in his life😔💔 tho, he is suffering in his own way, rest assured. the silent treatment kinda broke him haha)

warning that there is a bit of violence here and gaslighting (??), ig just typically what you'd expect to see in a yandere work,, this really ran away from me bc it's like 800 words😭

Three days had passed. Vio sat inside his trailer, feet up on the dressing table, more annoyed than he’d ever been in his entire life. Blue hair in his reflection, mussed from his constant ruffling, looking unkempt and barely like himself — and it was all your fault. His agency was paying you a salary in five figures and your only job was to take care of him, which inherently, you were doing, but you were also ignoring him and Vio couldn’t stand it.

His eyes flicked over almost instantly when you walked in, tracking every movement from your shutting the door to hanging your coat over the back of the closest chair. All Vio could see were the snowflakes in your lashes because that was all you’d let him, your gaze downcast, avoiding his. Pride made him bite his lips, because actually, he fucking missed the way you’d look at him. He missed your voice and he missed your pretty words, and it was all lumping in his throat so he couldn’t admit it although he wanted to.

Something weak sounded from him; a desperate grab for your attention that didn’t work. He kicked his script to the floor knowing you’d pick it up, then watched with a clenched jaw as you did exactly that, not even a fleeting glare in his direction. Somehow, Vio felt like he was running out of time, papers placed back neatly and your back already turning, it was the curl of worry in his gut that had his hand snapping to your wrist and tugging you back to him.

“You,” he gritted, frustrated at the pull back, at your resistance — no, your refusal of him. “Don’t fucking ignore me!”

Clearly, you weren’t listening, for all that Vio wrested you into his lap, your eyes wouldn’t even meet his through the mirror. Your bones solid against his palm, and he squeezed, hard enough to take you in, to let out the anger. Though, watching your face twist in pain, tendons in your neck constricting just to cut off the whimper, Vio didn’t even know who to be mad at anymore. 

All he wanted was for you to give in. 

He’d missed you so much, he would dream of you saying his name again. As you always would, and give him that love he was addicted to — yours, that tasted like kisses to open flesh. Raw and sincere to the point that Vio would rather stay splayed and bloodied instead of getting help. He didn’t feel like he could come back from this, or who he’d become because of you. If he was falling from grace, he’d hale you with him.

“Y/N…” This time, it came as a whisper, erratic mind lulled quick to the sensation of your pulse pressing firm against his fingers. Counting throbs, taking breaths for you, telling himself to be kinder, kinder. “Talk to me,” his forehead rested on your shoulder blade, “let’s not do this anymore, hm?”

Gentility got a rise out of you, it seemed, in the form of a gasp and the violent twists to free yourself that followed. “Don’t you dare,” your tone was accusatory, yet when Vio leaned away he saw the tell in your tears, “you’re not allowed to act fucking civil after what you did.”

His brow twitched. Irritation. He didn’t have a clue what you were talking about. Either way, acting was already his whole career — it might as well have been his entire damn life, and he wasn’t going to be reminded. If you weren’t a director and he wasn’t the star of your show, he didn’t need you telling him what he could and couldn’t do. His grip on you tightened.

“I didn’t do anything,” he hissed.

Outside it had begun to rain, heavy droplets melting the sleet from the windows. Steady patters the furthest thing from therapeutic in his current headspace, Vio almost missed your broken, “liar.”

Knocking his knee to white wood had the make-up brush holder tipping, contents rolling around, more noise buzzing in his head as he adjusted you. Finally, you were forced to focus on him, and Vio's eyes were unblinking, boring into yours. “You’re making baseless accusations.” 

“You told me no one would love someone like me.”

“I asked you who could,” Vio bit back instantly, then, his voice softened, “...and the answer is me.”

Purple dotted into red when he let you go, wiping at your wet face. Speckled like poison in a garden of roses — what he was to you, and what you were to him. Vio thought it was fitting, beauty in that you were both to die of each other. His incurable illness. His darling disease. You shouldn’t have gotten so close to that gaffer.

“Only I can. Only I am allowed. Remember that, and love me in turn.”

[ffsg0jo]

I loved your Ramadan works with the JJK characters. It's so nice to see another muslimah who writes for JJK :)). I am not sure if you are still actively posting, but would you consider writing a piece with the cast's reaction to the hijab and abaya? JazakAllah!

jjk characters with a muslim/hijabi reader [gojo edition]

gojo x reader [platonic or romantic it's open to interpretation]

w/c: 955 words

a/n: i got so carried away writing gojo's i realised if i added more characters, it'd be an incredibly long post. so i took them out and i'm gonna post them over the next couple weeks <33 so far i have megumi, nanami, itadori and nobara lmk if you want anymore characters :)) also guys pls feel free to send requests/suggestions :))

also anon you're the sweetest person every thank you so so much you've single handedly given me motivation to keep writing and ive got more works coming out. i hope you're having an amazing day inshaAllah bestie 💗

Gojo definitely thinks you’re doing a cosplay of some sort. It’s not uncommon in certain parts of Tokyo, so it’s safe to assume so most of the time. Even he’s been mistaken for Kakashi cosplays a lot of the time, with his black get-up and blindfold.

But then he sees you wearing different colour hijabs and abayas, and sometimes even a cute lil jilbabs and it confuses him. Suddenly, the thought occurs to him that maybe you’re not in a 24/7 cosplay, like him, and actually just dress covered head to toe.

As soon as he reaches that epiphany you best believe he pesters you and badgers you for answers. “y/n are you cold? is that why you’re always dressed like that?”

At first, you think it’s funny to give him nonsensical answers because he keeps saying stupid things, but you realise he's being deadly serious. plus, he gets increasingly bothersome, so you eventually get annoyed from all his questioning and just tell him about how you’re a Muslim and observe hijab.

He actually takes it quite seriously and apologises for lowkey making fun of your shitty cosplay in his head. He’s ignorant, not prejudiced, so he defo takes it back and, for once, takes accountability and apologises for his actions. He’s personally not a believer, but he respects it.

Once, you complained about how expensive abayas were becoming and how you just wished someone would just buy you a whole wardrobe of them to all the students, and he happened to overhear.

Literally days later he’s at your door with multiple bags full of abayas and hijabs and all sorts of modest clothing. You’re completely shick shack shook and don’t know what to say. You defo cry and try to hide it with your headscarf.

He barges into your room (after making sure you’re fully covered, he's learnt from that mistake) and spends the next 5 or so hours showcasing each item and telling you where in the world he got it from, the materials and everything.

He has really good taste in colours and styles and knows what would look good on you. You’re literally set for life. Absolutely refuses to let you pay him back. Every single time you mention money, he shuts you down and changes the topic entirely.

In summer he’s shocked you look relatively calm and okay. He’s literally boiling his bum off with a tank top (I’m laughing at imagining Gojo in a white tank top like an immigrant dad lmaoo) and you’re looking as fresh as daisies with everything covered. He asks how you're not melting and you’re waffling to him about airflow and how it’s actually quite breezy, and you’re not wearing anything underneath, so it’s fine, and he stops breathing and short circuits.

He looks at you with his eyes wide, and his sun reddened face goes a shade darker. "You’re not wearing anything underneath?" He takes it the completely wrong way, and you realise what it sounds like, and you’re both a bumbling mess.

It's the first time anyone’s ever seen Gojo that flustered.

Also some quickfire headcanons:

He genuinely thought you slept and showered with your hijab on, so he burst into your room one day and you screamed and he immediately warped somewhere else when he saw you wearing pyjamas (he didn’t see anything above your clothed knees, he panicked and left so quickly plus he was scared to look).

Gets you cute little clips to put on your hijab. He thinks they’re pretty.

Is absolutely devasted you can’t have mochi and some other desserts because they have pork gelatine in them and he always tries to find vegan alternatives.

Purposefully steps on your abaya/dress when it's flowing and he's behind you to annoy you.

Has extra pins pinned onto his uniform for you just in case you need them.

This is a secret he’ll take to his grave, but he actually tried to make you one of his favourite desserts you couldn’t eat (he threatened the bakery for the recipe), but it went so disastrously wrong he gave up and didnt want to face the embarrassment.

I’m talking melted plastic in the oven, small kitchen fire, eyebrows singed, and potential carbon monoxide poisoning bad.

You wore this specific shade of light blue once with a cream khimar, and for some reason, he was absolutely obsessed with that outfit. It wasn't until Nobara pointed out that your outfit matched Gojo's colour scheme did he finally realise why <33

The abaya sizing really confused him and he was so baffled as to what the numbers meant. Wdym size 52 what does that even measure 😭😭

He was faffing about for 2 hours before he realised he could've just googled it, and he felt absolutely stupid about it.

Whenever he sees a bit of your hair accidentally peeking out he covers his eyes and screams at you to "cover yourself woman goddammit". He's so dramatic honestly.

Thinks it’s hilarious seeing you run in your abaya. He thinks its the funniest thing in the world.

Once (he's lying defo more than once) he was zoned out while watching you and his heart started beating faster when he realised how beautiful you are with your long dress blowing in the breeze and your hijab lightly fluttering. You looked ethereal. He didn't know what to think, and he pushed his feelings back down. Deep deep down.

He doesn't need unnecessary feelings complicating things, but for some reason, his heart still yearns for you.

He also makes terrorist jokes about you to you. I will not explain that one, but he 100% does.

© ffsg0jo 2024 — do not plagiarise, repost, modify, or translate any of my work in any way, shape, or form; i will piss in your cereal if you do. all work belongs to me and me only.

[zz0nie]

Genshin Hcs, Women EDITION.

Furina, Navia & Clorinde.

notes; im not the most familiar with the girls, ESPECIALLY clorinde, imo she's just not have enough screentime to deduct enough things out of her. :( Sorry if shes ooc

Furina

You definitely need to have high patience for Furina, as her outgoing performances of being Fontaine's Archon, she must act the part! Holding your hand - basically dragging you - across Fontaine. "Oh this would look AMAZING on you, simply amazing!" She would announce to the world as she is holding a piece of extravagant clothing against you. Maybe it was on purpose to let people know you were close, as it comes with a little matching trinket she also coincidentally owns. She wouldn't admit it to your face though.

Like previously; she would LOVE to take you places, whether it be sweet treat testing, clothes shopping or just being in awe at the scenery around you, for Furina would frequently be looking back to make sure you are enjoying yourself. If you point it out to her, she will - much to her dismay - refuse to admit she was looking at you and would in fact try change the subject to a cat she saw walking on the roof of a building behind you.

Would 100% LOVE to be fed cakes she enjoys, something humane and sweet while you are sat in her room together, as a recorder you were suggesting for Furina to listen to for a while runs quietly in the background. As much as she loves to be fed, she would tell you to open up and go "Ahh" as she gently places a small piece of a cake in your mouth.

She will talk a bunch on the return after watching a "performance", If you just admire her she will either become more flustered or will feel more entitled to keep on talking, you wouldn't mind either way. While she talks she uses her hands to communicate with gestures, as you sit across from her, head resting in your palm as you listen. Maybe take note on any if they have any romantic drama, she might be hinting at you that she wants something.

Will force you to come to meetings with her, and if it is with someone who makes her anxious, expect her to hold your hand and play with your fingers cautiously.

Has 0 shame in PDA, however, would prefer to keep it to a minimal of hand holding or hugs in public, she prefers to verbally tell the world you are hers and she is yours.

Navia

Many many Baking dates! If you can't bake, that's okay! Stir something for her! Or help her by cleaning something up. Just you being there makes her so happy you want to enjoy something she does.

Definitely goes and buys matching pendants for you, if you aren't that sort of person she will find an object that you can both hold dear to you. Such as matching teacups! She is a very flexible person when it comes to gifts. She loves buying you whatever she can, however she does prefer to stick to sweet goods.

Dancing in her kitchen together, or if you're alone any make-shift kitchen she creates in the moment. While waiting for the macarons to bake, you gently place your hand on her hip and lift her arm up, swaying slowly as she giggles and places her hands on you in return, gliding around as you twirl with her.

Loves it if you ask her for anything, any help, you two are there for each other so why not make use of it? She can become a very busy woman though, so don't go over boarding the requests!

She plays with her hair when she is nervous, just grabs a strand and twirls it in her fingers. If she doesn't want to be as obvious, the hem of her dressing will become her new best friend. Gently twisting the fabric on her hands, rubbing it together as unease sets over her. Hold her hand - give it a soft squeeze - let her know she is okay and you are there.

Clorinde

(once again, i apologise if this is ooc)

If anything does ever happen she's quick to find out and come to your aid, you are her priority. If you're clumsy she'll keep a box of aid on her at all times, due to this while you walk she will have an arm hovering around your side, as she isn't a fan of PDA herself, she will keep a distance between the two of you.

Practically acting as a bodyguard as most people assume when you are first spotted while walking together in the streets. No one will confront you or try straggle for higher prices around the two of you. It’s like walking a doberman, you have big scary dog privileges.

She will refuse to teach you her sword art. However, she will be 100% on teaching you how to defend yourself - if you don’t know how to - coming close and personal to you if you posture is off, standing right behind you as she helps you position yourself for defence or attack. She just wants to make sure you’re safe when she can’t be there to help you. Though, while you two are together, she's soft like putty, completely melts in your arms and just wants to relax. You are her safeguard at home when you are alone.

Clorinde is serious and always ready to take things head-on. This does not involve a private life full of fun and puns. She may be slow to catch onto sarcasm too, taking everything you say seriously - she wants the best for you - even if you made it rather obvious that you were joking. She, was not - which may have causes a couple small arguments or surprises.

She loves animals as much as she may not admit it. She’s probably had a few pets in her lifetime, so when she comes to you and you’re holding a stray kitten, she can’t say no to you when you both send pleading eyes her way. You didn’t think it would be that easy, but it was all worth it when you see the two of them on your sofa, sleeping together, Clorinde holding a protective hold against the kitten who’s snuggled into her neck as she’s on her side. Gently pulling a blanket and kissing her forehead gently you wish her a good sleep.

When Clorinde has to go for duty for longer than usual, you’ll see her gazing out into the window or door as she is in her office. She looks up expectantly as her door opens, however to her dismay it wasn’t you. Wow, how she missed you so much. When the person leaves her office she pulls out a picture you took of the two of you for her, with a small note on the back, “Miss you so much, remember to take care of yourself!” She looks, smiling at the picture before swiftly place bc it back in her pocket. Another person came in.

[purplepeach333]

The prey

Paring: Feyd x reader

Warnings:none

Word count:1k

Summary: tossed into the lions den lady y/n has to make it through her most unfortunate situation. Soon to be wed to the Na-Baron, seeing the Harkooens cruelty first hand and how everyone fears them, will y/n come to terms with her fate or will she fight it?

~Part 2~

A vast shadow covers the sky, the sound of an ornithopter's wings hovering above draws me from my thoughts, as the fremen gather outside along with my brother and mother. I hang back for a moment calming my nerves and clearing my mind then step out from the security of the large cave.

Making my way to my mothers side I catch a glimpse of the inside of the flying beast. It seems unoccupied, I turn to my mother confused but she does not bother returning a glance focusing her attention on the lowering aircraft.

Once the ornithopter lands on the sand, Jessica approaches to welcome the Harkooens on their arrival but from inside only a single man steps out, his shoulder slumped and his figure thin and fragile, the man looks around his pale face almost becoming paper white. Jessica stops in her tracks “what is this!” She questions looking between the pale man and the aircraft “where is the Baron and his nephew?” She demands

The man reaches slowly into his inner pocket of his unusual outfit, I see Paul’s hand move to his blade as he watches the man closely. Nothing but a small piece of parchment is revealed as the man unfolds it pulling it formally in front of himself, clearing his throat he starts “the Baron apologises for not being able to attend this event himself but he his glad you have finally accepted the offer for your family’s to be brought together and the Baron would like to reassure Lady Jessica that Lady y/n will be in safe hands on her journey to us and during her time with us” finishing the man folds the parchment back up placing it back into his pocket.

“This is ridiculous!” Paul claims angrily stepping forward “mother you can not accept this!”

Jessica simply lifts her hand to silence him, looking back at me “y/n you will go and honour the arrangement” she states her piercing eyes almost daring me to challenge her word.

Seeing no way out I nod in agreement before turning to Paul smiling at him reassuringly, but all he gives in return is an apologetic frown.

—

Finally landing I see three figures waiting at the top of a stairway, immediately recognising Feyd Rautha standing on the left side a larger old man in the middle “the man in the middle he is the Baron, yes?”I ask the man as he helps me off the aircraft “y-yes” the man stutters almost shrinking even more in there presence,turning to close the large door of the aircraft the man whispers “please lady y/n be careful what you say or do in the there presence” before walking away leaving me there feeling like a mouse under the gaze of predators.

Standing straight and confident, I make my way up the long and wide stairs, Jessica had been training me for this my whole life, I would be safe and alive as long as I did not let fear take control ‘fear is the mind killer’.

—

Finally reaching the top of the stairs slightly out of breath and in a worse mood than I had started. The Baron is the first to greet me “Ah Lady y/n, you’ve had a good trip I hope apologies for not coming personally to escort you!” The Baron cries out in a tone of forced joy, being pleasant and welcoming clearly isn’t the Barons strong suit, anyone could see the falsehood behind his manner of kindness.

“Of course Baron, I understand you must be a very busy man.” I reply a similar but much more carefully crafted forced sense of care and joy in my expression.

From the corner of my eyes I can see Feyd Rautha the Na-Baron eyeing me down like a prize his just won, refusing to pleasure him with my attention I ignore his burning gaze

“Well come, come till our departure back to Giedi Prime you will be staying with Feyd in his room, I hope you don’t mind” the old man’s annoying voice breaths out almost as if he’d been gasping for air while speaking

Stunned and internally panicking I look at the Baron confused ���but sir Baron. That is not allowed, you know this.” I state

“Do not question me!” His voice rings out loud and directly

My body’s instincts push me to jump back but I refuse standing still and tall “apologies Baron it was not my intention to question or anger you I was merely confused-“ cutting me off the Baron starts floating away without a care, his older nephew trailing behind him.

All I can do is stand, unsure what to do till I feel the Na-Baron's large hand grip around my forearm as his body stands uncomfortably close to mine “shall we” his distinct raspy voice breaks the silence as he pulls me along.

Walking down the sad and empty halls of the Harkooens' large residence, still unfortunately stuck within the Na-Barons grip, eyes wondering every room I pass curiously, the Baron not far ahead of us.

The thought of having to share a room with the Na-baron making my stomach twist uncomfortably. Hoping his duties would keep him busy enough to be left alone for as long as possible. Whilst in tangled thoughts I feel a pull on my arm as I realise Feyd stop suddenly, seeing the Baron turn to us “you here” he calls out to a young looking servant girl walking past as she comes to a halt turning towards the Baron her eyes on the floor “take Lady y/n to get a proper fit of clothes” he ordered, slipping out of Feyds grip I silently nod following the girl.

Once we’re a safe distance from the Harkooens I look at the girl thin, pale and bald like everyone else, her big doe eyes dark and tired looking, her feminine features painted with fear. I glance around quickly before speaking “what is it like on Giedi Prime?” My voice low and soft, “i-it” her voice shakes “it is alright you are free to speak as you please in my presence” I reassure her “It… it is not an easy place for most” she mumbles barely audible “hm, yes I’ve heard”.

—

Stepping out in my new gown feeling strange being out of my sand suit after so long, my dress, simple but elegant, a dark shade of black, small dark gems around the chest, reaching just above the floor. “Thank you, it’s beautiful!” I smile at the servants who fitted me, turning to view myself in the three mirrors in front of me. The room silent but peaceful. I let myself breathe for the first time since my arrival amongst the Harkooens.

The dim lit room decorated with grim colours feeling a little uneasy, “is this how every room is presented” I sigh to the lady’s behind me getting not a single response “great..” I breath out stepping down from the small platform

“I’ll be leaving now, good day” I dismiss myself from the room. Closing the door behind me “this place is ridiculously huge, I’ll never find my way.” I mutter to myself turning to my left and making my way down a deserted hallway.

The thought of running out into the desert and disappearing forever becoming dangerously tempting as I glance out a window into the vast sand seas. “Thinking of fleeing little bird” a raspy familiar voice behind me approaches, “of course not Na-Baron I wouldn’t dare let a thought like that cross my mind” I answer him erasing any expression from my face, he circles me like a shark “they’ve spared no expense on you have they little bird” a sly smirk forming on his lips

“Well I am here to be show off aren’t I, the bene Gessrit finally getting what they want and in doing so giving your uncle a new toy to brag about'' i reply standing straight and unfazed by his presence, “you think you’ve got everything figured out have you?” Feyd steps closer, his eyes blue and unfortunately for me quite pretty.

“Feyd!” A loud masculine voice rings out from the head of the corridor, Feyd visibly annoyed but not removing his eyes from mine “what do you want Glossu?” He shouts back “uncle is demanding your presence brother” Glossu yells back his shoulder broad “”I’ll see you tonight little bird” Feyds eyes stay on mine a moment longer before he turns storming down past his brother, wondering what horrible idea his got distracts me from the man walking up to me “lady y/n allow me to escort you to your room” Glossu approaches much kinder than the Na-Baron “yes, thank you” I smile thankfully to him as I follow his lead down the labyrinth of corridors.

Tag list:

@avidreader73

@mamawiggers1980

[puckspoetry]

DPS: Todd's Confrontation and Growth

After Neil commits, the dead poets are all sat in a broom closet waiting for Cameron so they can expose him for being a rat. They’re all yelling at him when he walks in but as usual Todd is standing silently watching the scene unfold. However, Cameron yells at the group “if it weren’t for Keating neil would be cozied up studying chemistry right now” (which is a reference to the beginning of the film where neil states that his father forced him into summer school for chemistry so he could get better grades and become a doctor) and it is a known fact that neil hated chemistry and wanted to act. 

This is the first scene where Todd speaks up for himself and he yells back at Cameron “Neil loves acting Cameron you know that”. This scene is really impactful because throughout the film Todd had to rely on Neil to stand up for him because he couldn’t do it. This is the first time Todd defends what is right but he is immediately told to be quiet by Cameron. For the remainder of the film Todd is forced back into his quiet shell of a man until it’s time for Keating to collect his things. 

Earlier in the film Todd would only agree to ideas or do things if someone else already was. But Neil was the only one who included him so now he has to include himself and be brave. Whenever Todd is told to be quiet or if someone has disputing opinions with him earlier in the film he complies silently and apologises. 

However in the last scene in the film Mr Keating comes to collect his personal belongings from his office as Mr Nolan is now taking his English class. Todd makes eye contact with Keating through the open door and he realises what he has to do. He calls out to Mr Keating and says that it wasn’t his fault and they made him sign it. Nolan yells at him to shut up and this is the last time he complies as he eventually stands on his desk (a reference to an earlier scene where Keating gets them to stand on a desk as a reminder to “constantly look at things from a different perspective”). Todd stands on his desk and calls out “o captain my captain” (which is what the dead poets refer to Keating as - a reference to a Whitman poem) and Nolan once again screams at him to sit down but Todd finally refuses to listen. 

Earlier in the film Todd says to Neil “you say things and people listen, I’m not like that” but by this scene in the film that all changes as Todd now influences the remainder of Keatings supporters to stand on their desks and say the same Whitman quote. The dead poets standing on their desks to honour Keating is a metaphor for how they are all looking at the situation from an alternative perspective. There are students still sitting down (Cameron and some extras) and those are the ones who refuse to alter their perspective and sit comfortably with conformity.

~

Hello, sorry, I know this is long but I really loved writing this one. I love Todd's character so much and I really don't think there is anyone better to play him than Ethan Hawke.

Has anyone else seen the photoshopped version of the image above with Toad from Mario's head?? No?? Just me?? Alright.

[adoreblue]

3:39am

member  kim mingyu genre  angst, r wordcount  1.1k warnings  reader experiences periods, very light mention of sex notes  bf!mingyu, this is my first piece so i’m sorry if it’s not great, ummmm i don’t know what to say other than. this is like. really sad..??? i hope that is not a problem

the bawling was becoming louder and you knew he was starting to get tired. again. it was 3:39 am, and you refused to shift your view beyond the sleeves of your hoodie, now drenched in tears. you heard ruffling nearby, temporarily making you wonder if he was going to leave for the night. but upon the wave of silence that followed, it was clear he was laying down in bed next door, likely dwelling on his thoughts.

your relationship with mingyu had not been a peaceful one necessarily. the pacing was quick: few dates, passion, sex, and before you knew it you were waking up to his giggling every morning, a routine splashed with joy and energy. he took you hiking every weekend, despite your resentment. “it’ll be good for you”, eyelashes fluttering, and he was right about that. you had a box of chocolates guaranteed when it was that time of the month and a call for every day he was abroad; a shoulder to cry on and a genuine friend. kim mingyu had been yours for 9 months and every second had felt worth it up to now.

it was strange because tonight felt like just one of many nights: he’d come home, you’d confront him after finding out, he’d apologise lightly and you’d become frustrated at his motionless reaction, your pain would feel so unmatched by his exterior you’d have a go at him, intensely, and you’d end up feeling ashamed and frail. after a certain amount of time, you’d rekindle the conversation and apologise to him for the inconvenience caused. he’d forgive you, and the night would end wrapped in his arms, feeling a sense of gratitude over the fact he hadn’t ditched you yet. this last hour you had been pondering over how real the sense of gratitude was - you had somehow equated his reasons for apologising to yours up to today. he would apologise because he had been seeing your ex-friend haneul, an individual known locally for his misconduct towards women and minorities, and you would apologise for your reaction to finding out he had, once again, lied to you about his evening plans. while it was never said to you out loud, you felt controlling, entitled, disruptive, whenever you called him out on it, and what had hurt you up to this point is the fact he never felt like denying it. he’d accept your apologies, nodding along, never questioning or denying your claims when you’d declare you were a “territorial bitch” in a haze of anger and shame. you knew it was your fault for being over-apologetic, for not believing you could stand up for yourself, for being convinced your overarching guilt was justified. but he never thought beyond your words or cared to challenge them.

nonetheless, he was not entirely responsible for the tremor either. he cared. he did care and you knew that. he had been clear about his beliefs being completely different from haneul’s, and you had no reason to think otherwise. it wasn’t entirely his choice either - being the son of one of the members of staff, they’d often go eat dinner together as a group, with haneul taking a liking for mingyu, and inviting him to outings often despite mingyu’s indifference towards him. what hurt you was not the meet-ups themselves but the secrecy - he had grown tired of your reactions when he was honest about seeing him, and now disguised it through lies. 

“minghao invited me for drinks”, he texted you once, unaware minghao had previously asked you for a brownie recipe to prepare for his uncle who was visiting him that night. “i’m with my mum” he said a different time, unaware haneul’s jarring voice was discernible over the phone.

being honest with yourself, it wasn’t even about haneul anymore. he had been a horrible person to friends of yours and you couldn’t understand why mingyu even tolerated his existence, but a lack of trust is what had you twisting the ring on your finger in agony this late at night. you felt stupid for believing in a relationship where the communication was a façade, where problems would get burried and looped. him lying so shamelessly about haneul had you panicking over anything else he could be hiding from you. and what scared you the most is he seemed over it as well, taking your reprimands less seriously than before since they had become a common practice.

you are in love with mingyu, but the relationship fractured and you couldn’t even lie to yourself about it. tonight, you refused to take his apology, accusing him of being a liar and implying he was seeing someone else romantically. you knew your words were extreme and a product of the heat of the moment, but felt frustrated the roots of your argument were also being dismissed. the turmoil between believing the guilt in your chest and standing up for yourself was suffocating you more than ever before, and in your head, this situation posed the dilemma of whether it was better to apologise profusely or exit the relationship.

you strolled towards the bedroom, grudgingly, and found mingyu lying down with his eyes half shut. his phone screen was facing the bedsheet but light was coming off of it. he had his body spread across the bed, which read as uninviting for you to join him. you couldn’t decipher his disguised expression, and he didn’t seem concerned to change that.

“i don’t know what to do about you,” you mutter, weary about how you’d phrase your frustration this time, “i don’t feel like we communicate well.”

his mhm was confusing, for a second you were under the impression he was trying to convince you he was too far in his sleep to have this conversation. 

“i wish it wasn’t like that,” he stated eventually, slightly more confident but with a trembling chin, “i wish we could understand each other better.” he sounds sad. with major doubts, you eventually crawl into bed with him and quickly find yourself in his embrace.

you feel petrified, ashamed, and incapable of escaping the notion that the relationship’s core is dishevelled.

you feel comforted, safe, and relieved by his willingness to hold you close.  

“we can try to figure this out,” he whispers as you doze off to sleep, “please let us figure it out”.

[wild-at-mind]

As of time of writing, Rishi Sunak is still refusing to apologise for the jibe at trans women in PMQ. (Apologise specifically to Brianna Ghey's parents, her mother at least being definetly present at the time.) What will the fallout for this be? This is only days after normally transphobic tabloids splashed the mugshots of Brianna's killers all over their front page with headlines like 'PURE EVIL'. It seemed the spectacle of 16 year old murderers overrode the fact that they normally don't care about trans people. Rishi's remark streamrolled one of the most important optics rules on most parts of the political spectrum- don't say things that upset the grieving family. On the other hand, Sunak was making a jibe that revealed the fact that most people currently in UK politics seem convinced that if they say 'trans women are women' it will not only prove catastrophic for their chance of being elected, it will also cause mobs of people to thrust stats at them supposedly proving that cis women will be in mortal danger. And that may happen! The statistical evidence isn't there at all, though, so I believe it would come to nothing if he rode it out. Anyway, it's the right thing to do. I believe that after a certain point, continually insisting trans women are not women makes you look deranged. I have a trans woman friend who told me she once asked a transphobic/gender critical aquaintance of ours during calm conversation 'how do you see me? What am I, if not a woman?' The aquaintance said 'you're a man dressed up.' Now, these gender critical people claim to be super duper pro GNC cis men (they aren't, because they are worried the GNC cis men might start IDing as trans, and they hate men anyway especially weird queer ones, so it's a non-starter.) But this person was essentially telling my friend 'you aren't what you have clearly demonstrated yourself to be'. It's often said that 'trans women are women' is an opinion, but in my eyes saying that trans women are not women is an opinion. This aquaintance was saying what she had been indocterinated to believe by her TERF online circles, and I don't think she's reachable (my friend is no longer trying, it was a one off conversation as far as I can tell). I've said this before but I maintain that politicians should stop dignifying the question of 'what is a woman? Define what a woman is!' because it's a question that is never asked in good faith. It's a gotcha, and you don't need to answer it and fall into whatever trap they are setting. You just need to put forth policies that support both cis women and trans women- showing support with your deeds and words. And Starmer should have a fucking backbone- Sunak isn't wrong there. If anything what Sunak did was very revealing because it shows he's used to being surrounded only by people who guffaw at the very idea that 'trans women are women' is something true in both theory and practice. Meanwhile trans people are becoming more visible and I truly believe within 20 years, both Sunak and Starmer will look like dinosaurs in much the same way as the homophobic politicians of yore were following a public zeitgeist that was quickly becoming outdated. It's a shame we never seem to learn from the past.

[justaboymadeofhoneyandglass]

Part 2!

On to Jason Todd, the second Robin. After Dick left, Batman caught a street kid stealing tyres off the batmobile and pretty much picks him up like a raccon and goes "you're coming home with me" thus he gains Jason as a son. Jason becomes Robin at age 11 and is desperate to live up to the expectations Dick set before him. When Bruce and Dick make up, Jason and Dick become close as brothers

Jason is murdered by the Joker at age 16 and we will come back to him in just a second

But first I need to bring up Tim Drake. Tim is a child genius who figures out Batman and both Robin's identities at a young age. When Jason died, Batman spiralled into a pretty bad place, becoming violent and despondent and Tim decided to stalk him about it

Tim stalks Bruce for a while and then demands he be allowed to be the third Robin. Batman is very against this, his son just died because he failed to protect him as Robin. But Tim does what he wants and pretty much bullies Batman into letting him be Robin at age 13. Most of Tim's job as Robin is to keep Batman in check while he's grieving and make sure he doesn't go off the deep end

Remember Jason? Surprise! He's alive again! A year later, Jason is revived by Ra's al Ghul (remember him for later), the head of the League of Assassins that first trained Bruce. Ra's has access to the Lazarus Pit which keeps him immortal and can revive the dead

But Jason comes back angry. Not only because the Lazarus Pit does that to you, but also for two personal reasons: 1. Batman did nothing to avenge his death. Joker is still alive because of his "no killing" rule. 2. He was replaced as Robin, as a son, as if he didn't matter

So Jason takes on the persona of Red Hood (an old alias of Joker's) and becomes a crime lord in Gotham to get Batman's attention. He also starts killing the villains that Batman refused to. He gets in many fights with Batman and tries to murder Robin a few times. It takes a good while before they actually talk and get anywhere, Bruce apologising and Jason realising how much influence the Lazarus anger is having over him

Very very very slowly they start to repair their relationship a little. Jason is still pissed, Bruce is still guilty, but over 4 years they are starting to be family again. Jason calls Tim "Replacement" as a nickname but they have more of a tense sibling relationship now. Red Hood considers himself an anti-hero but still presents himself as a crime lord to the rest of the world as a cover. Jason Todd is still legally dead but it's an open secret that he's alive bc he's just walking around Gotham the past 4 years

Jason takes every chance to guilt trip Bruce about his death to get his way and any time someone mentions death he's obligated to chime in "I died once"

He hardly hangs around Wayne Manor, and is not over for dinner as often as Dick, but will make appearances for the sake of Alfred's cooking and the kids sometimes

Once again back to Tim, at 15 his (neglectful, rich) parents found out about him being Robin and made him stop. They died 9 months later and he once again becomes a vigilante, now Red Robin because Robin has just been passed to someone else

Tim still lives at Wayne Manor and runs most of the tech and security systems in the Batcave and the Justice League watchtower (the Justice League think this is Batman running it alone. They are wrong). As a day job he is co-CEO of Wayne Enterprises despite having never completed high school

Ohhh thats cool!

Jason is honestly such an icon for that lmao

Keep em coming!

[tieflingtareon]

My love, are you the devil? (Oh, call me a devil)

Chapter 27 | Words: 5.2k

Summary: Astarion found himself often surprised by his heroic companion. He had one goal. To become the favoured companion of the group, to earn the Tieflings loyalty, to make Tar'eons strength his own. Yet Tar'eon isn't like the usual target of his manipulations. Despite his naivety, he does not seem gullible. There is something very wrong with their 'leader' to begin with. Astarion isn't sure if he wants to control it or eradicate the threat it posed. But can he really do either when Tar'eon himself seems so...unwaveringly kind?

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/50668558/chapters/127995079

Tar'eon didn't have his own tent, so he hid away in Astarion's. It was vacant, and if he was honest, he wasn't sure he could stand talking to anyone else right now. He curled up in the piles of clothes, head on the stolen pillow and wrapped up in the blanket from the inn, nestling himself down to sleep. It wasn't even midday but he didn't want to think anymore. For once, he wanted to sleep dreamlessly.

By some miracle, he managed to sleep for a bit before he awoke to the tent opening, sunshine draping across his features.

"There you are." Astarion tutted. "You know, it's quite rude to enter ones abode without permission."

"I needed to be alone, and I don't have my own tent."

"Right, because you prefer sleeping under the stars." Astarion mused and closed the flap behind him, sitting beside the tiefling. "So...are you going to tell me why you suddenly deserted us out there? Oh, by the way, Karlach personally invited Yenna and her cat to stay with us. I told her we have enough strays, but Wyll backed up her decision so..."

"I'm glad she's here, rather than alone." Tar'eon turned to properly face Astarion, sighing. "It's just...seeing Orin - it shook me up. I've never felt so...angry before. In my life. Something about her gets under my skin, and I was afraid of what I'd do. I almost killed that smith."

"Yes, that was...honestly? Quite arousing. Terrifying, but arousing. You really should threaten people more often."

"Astar."

"Right, apologises." Astarion clicked his tongue. "She had a lot to say to you, that shapeshifter."

"Yeah..."

"She called you 'sibling'. Remarked on your father."

"She did."

"Are you going to tell me why she'd say such a thing or...?" Astarion gestured for him to explain, but Tar'eon had nothing to say.

"I don't know. I don't remember. But I know my memories? She took them. She scrambled with my brain and now...I know nothing." He hated her. 'Sister' or not. "Maybe she meant sibling in a different sense. We certainly don't look alike."

"Well, considering you share a father apparently..." Astarion frowned before smirking. "At least I'm not the only one who'll be having a family reunion."

"Gods, I hope not." Tar'eon pinched his brow.

"We still have four hours of daylight...Perhaps a trip to the circus would help take your mind off things?" Astarion mused and Tar'eon chuckled.

"A circus? I don't recall ever going to one."

"Karlach is begging to go, I beg you to save me from this." He pleaded and Tar'eon gave it a thought. The circus...after all the crap they'd been through, a circus sounded quite nice honestly. A day off, if anything. They deserved one of those.

"We should go."

"Ugh, I was hoping you'd say no."

"Then why ask?" Tar'eon grinned, amused but Astarion's pout.

"Because I was trying that 'nice' thing you keep encouraging." Tar'eon shook his head fondly and sat up to kiss Astarion softly.

"I appreciate it. Come on. I don't want to slump about over this. Maybe going out will help."

"That's the spirit. No point in being a depressing lump in my tent."

Tar'eon chuckled. Astarion had played him like a fiddle. But for once, it was to benefit him rather than himself. That was an improvement when it came to his silver tongue.

****

"I'm not wearing that." Astarion refused as Tar'eon crept closer with the face paint.

"Come on! You're supposed to be hiding anyway, aren't you?" Tar'eon grinned.

"I'd rather be found by Cazador than wear that crap on my face."

"Oh, oh, me! Let me!" Karlach insisted, pointing at her own face. Tar'eon laughed and began painting her face with a steady hand. "Oh, it's cold!"

"Everything's cold compared to you, Karlach." Shadowheart chuckled and stole some paint for herself, happy to disguise herself given her current status as a traitor to Shar.

"You're right - I'll happily warm you right up, baby!" Karlach beamed at her girlfriend, and Shadowheart rolled her eyes but smiled anyway.

"Ugh - I'm going to go pick pocket some patrons, anything to escape this dreadful place." Astarion waved his hand and slipped away into a crowd of people. Tar'eon shook his head. He hoped he got caught.

He painted a giant blue butterfly across Karlach's face and she let out a squeal when she saw it.

"Amazing! Gods, I look good. You ever thought of taking up painting once this is all over?"

"I'm not that good." Tar'eon was flattered though.

"Karlach's not joking. You have some talent." Shadowheart assured. "Maybe you painted before."

"A painter and a bard - quite the creative person I was, huh?" Tar'eon mused. He probably painted with blood and charmed people to walk off cliffs with his flute, no doubt.

"You know, I don't think I've ever heard you play." Karlach frowned. "Can you?"

"Of course I can. I can play just about any instrument I put my hands if I put my mind to it. I just...prefer the flute." Tar'eon took his flute and frowned as he walked down the steps. He placed his lips to the mouthpiece and decided to play a cheerful, adventurous tune, eyes falling shut. He hadn't really played because he hadn't the time, or the privacy to. Yet when he put his lips to it, he could feel something connecting inside his brain.

A memory.

In his memory, the tune was softer. More mellow. There was no rush, no upbeat tick to it. Every note was drawn out, peaceful like walking along a riverbank beneath a full moon. Behind his eyelids, he could see a dark office, lit by candlelight. There was a presence behind him, he could feel it, but there was no fear. No anticipation. He was not in danger. The presence was as mellow as his song.

A warm hand curled around his throat, the cold claws sharp but not biting. His head fell back, and within the memory, darkness followed. He had closed his eyes. The music continued to play, air still leaving his lungs as his throat was cradled. There was submission in the act, something he knew was not freely given.

"Tir'yal...are you trying to charm me?" The music did not stop. The hand did not move. There was simply a chuckle, warm and low.

The memory faded into nothing, warped away, but Tar'eon could still feel the phantom hand on his throat as he pulled the flute from his lips. His upbeat tune had changed to that mellow one, and there were people crowding around him, looking mesmerizing.

"Wow..." Karlach breathed. "I don't think I've ever been moved by a flute solo before. Hells." She placed a hand on her chest. "I actually feel...almost cold."

"Was that your own song?" Shadowheart asked. "It was so...calming. Yet sad. I don't think I've ever entertained the flute as an emotional instrument before."

"I...I'm not sure if it's my song. I think it is." Tar'eon frowned, shaking his head. He couldn't get the memory out of his head. He hadn't realised playing his flute would open up more of his past to him. What else could he do to remember it? It was the only memory of his past that wasn't smeared with blood.

Who in Faerun was he? And who was the man with him? He used his infernal name with such ease...Like he knew the language well enough to call it his own.

"Whatever you were playing, it occupied the people well enough for me to nick a very pretty ring and some coin." Astarion grinned as he came to his side. "A beautiful song it was, darling. Perhaps I can show my talents at the piano one day. We'd make quite the duo."

Tar'eon smiled at the thought.

"I'd love to play with you." He could imagine in now, Astarion on the piano with his elegant fingers, Tar'eon with his flute pressed against his lips, creating a harmony together in a house they could call their own. It was a nice dream, and he hoped one day to experience it. He turned around to depart from the crowd and found himself stumbling over a few steps, righting himself in front of a woman with red hair - a druid. Or, he was definitely assuming druid with all the leaves and branches covering her modesty.

"Sorry, I-"

"This city of stone and steel is an endless scream in nature's womb. I have left no peace here." She turned to him and smiled serenely. "Until now. Your eyes, stira...there is pain, endless and deep. But also devotion - blazing like the sun. You're in love, are you not?"

Tar'eon stood straighter, his cheeks a touch hot at how easily she seemed to read him. It was a little unsettling, but there was little to hide from what he was guessing was a nymph - a dryad.

"I...yes. I am." There was no point in lying to the woman. "To someone quite close to me."

"You are wise to admit it. When it comes to love, vulnerability is armour. Truth, a sword. And trust, a shield." Tar'eon took in a deep breath, a little overwhelmed by her insight, but he understood. Love was not weakness. Being weak with the one you love was a strength in itself. To bare yourself before another...it was a risk that came with high rewards if you were lucky to bare yourself to the right person. "I pray you wield all three, stira."

Tar'eon smiled softly. It may be a sham she ran for the circus, but it made him feel good about putting his heart in Astarion's hands, even if they had conflicting views on power.

"Bring the one you love to me. I will look into your hearts and see if your love is eternal. Or doomed eternally." Tar'eon bit his lip. It was probably a scam. He doubted she would be able to know if Astarion and him were worth the journey, the pain and the healing, but...Gods, he wanted to have someone say it was. He wanted to know he was making the right choice with his heart, or if he was doomed to simply live with the heartache Astarion may bring him.

He turned to Astarion who was looking at the dryad sceptically, like he didn't quite think her predictions to be true, but when his eyes met his, they widened.

"Would you...like to try it? With me?" He offered his hand to Astarion and the vampire seemed surprised before he smiled, indulging Tar'eon.

"Oh my love, how could I say no?" He took his hand and came to stand beside him. Most circus' were full of scammers, sham magicians, but he didn't mind go through a little 'test of love' to make Tar'eon feel more secure in...whatever they were. Astarion didn't want to admit it to himself, but - he was also a touch insecure about their relationship. After the previous night, he felt like he was walking on eggshells, trying to ignore the forbidden ritual looming over their heads.

"Close your eyes, little ones. Be still as stone to earth. And remember to breathe."

"Do you think we could try next?" Karlach whispered to Shadowheart who smiled softly.

"I doubt she will be able to tell you anything I can't tell you myself about my feelings for you."

"Gods, I love you." Karlach grinned. "I still want to though."

"Alright, alright. Later."

Tar'eon closed his eyes, smiling to himself. Moments passed, and he only opened his eyes when he felt a shift in the air around him. A gentle breeze, the sound of a waterfall and running water - a lack of noise from the people around them. His hand was now empty as he looked around, finding himself in a peaceful hideaway of stone and moss, a tree trunk the only means to Astarion who stood on the other side with the dryad.

"Ah. Glorious. Your bond is sweeter than nature's dew. I see you. Know you. But do you know one another?"

"I know he's sweeter than nature's dew." Astarion joked, licking his lips and showing off his fangs in a grin as if to tease the dryad. Tar'eon suppressed a laugh, a finger to his lips as if to silence himself.

"Astarion: a tumultuous past hides behind a mirthful grin." Astarion made a small tutting sound at her insightful words. He didn't quite like being seen through so blatantly. "The heart is fraught, so let us begin with the joyous. When is he happiest?"

Tar'eon frowned, giving it a thought. When was Astarion happiest...?

"Well...I like to think he's happiest when we're alone. When he's being heard, listened to, and cared for. He likes fine things, and he like special treatment." Tar'eon mused before chuckling. "But I'd have to say he smiles most when elbow-deep in gore."

Astarion laughed, able to forget the personal part of his words in favour of the satisfying answer.

"Guilty as charged. Sometimes literally." Astarion shrugged with a smirk and Tar'eon walked closer, only pausing when the dryad spoke again.

"Your bond beats in pleasure. It is an honour to behold."

"Not the only kind of pleasure we get up to." Astarion quipped with a grinned. "Well, not recently, but the memories are good enough." He winked. Tar'eon shook his head, smile fond.

"Many things delight the heart, but only one makes it sing. Tell me, what does he desire more than anything?" Astarion frowned, looking away. He damn well knew the answer, but it wasn't one he'd like to be aired out like dirty laundry, thank you.

"Freedom." Tar'eon answered honestly. "That's all he's ever wanted. It's what he deserves."

"You're not wrong, but do we need to tell every stranger we meet our business?" Astarion narrowed his eyes and Tar'eon smiled as he walked closer.

"You're allowed your quips. I'm allowed my honesty." Astarion rolled his eyes.

"Our touch has been that of sunlight, but now we must ask the deep. The difficult. Fear sits in the soul of all - to tame it, we must name it. What is his deepest fear?" Tar'eon looked at Astarion, who was glaring at him, daring him to voice it out loud. He closed his eyes, allowing himself to chuck away the truth just this once. For his sake.

"Breaking a nail." Astarion laughed.

"Well, when you look this good..." He made a show of check his nails before his expression grew more serious, walking across the tree trunk to meet him. "Well, you were right every time. I almost wish you hadn't been, but...you do know me."

Tar'eon smiled and took his hand in his, squeezing gently.

"I press my fingers to your bond and find a shield - impenetrable. It is...beautiful." She sounded awed, and it made Tar'eons heart swell. "Your love is one few have - cherish it." She came closer, and then paused. "I only wonder if it is shared with such fervour."

The pair frowned, looking at her in confusion.

"Tar'eon...when is he happiest?" She was looking at Astarion now, who seemed dumbfounded to be asked such a personal question.

"I...Well..." Astarion actually looked embarrassed as he looked away from them both, Tar'eons hand holding his.

"You don't have to answer. I already know you care for me, Astar."

"Well...it's only fair to spill your dirty secrets in return." Astarion cleared his throat, licking his lips. "I...He's happiest when- when he's with his people." Tar'eons heart warmed, a small smile on his lips, but Astarion wasn't finished.

"He's happiest when he's talking to children, when an animal lets him get close, when he- when he can enjoy a good book in peace, and learn something new and - he seems happiest with...me." Astarion swallowed, heat burning the back of his neck. "Despite how much I'm sure I grate on his nerves."

"Even when I'm annoyed with you, I'm still happy to see you." Tar'eon agreed.

"Gods, you're a sap." Astarion scoffed like he hadn't said something so endearing just moments ago.

"You watch him close, for fear he may leave if you don't. He has made your heart beat again, and it is glorious yet terrifying." She seemed as if she was in love herself, her eyes almost starry despite their bright glow. "Tell me, what does he desire more than anything?"

Astarion bit his lip, sucking on it before he let go and huffed.

"Freedom. We're one in the same in that regard. He wants to be free of parts of himself, and I wish to be free of others."

"Perhaps there is more layers to be found within your partners desires." She mused and Tar'eons stomach churned.

"He was right. I do want to be free." Even if there was much more to it than that. "I want to be in control of my life, my actions."

"What is his deepest fear? The thing he fears above all else?" She continued, and Tar'eon watched Astarion, wondering what he'd say.

"He...he fears losing himself. Who doesn't?" Astarion had lost himself for years in his abuse, so many memories fuzzy from dissociation. From trying to get away in the only way he knew how.

"Perhaps there is something more terrifying than losing ones self?" She was talking to him this time, staring into his very soul, and Tar'eon swallowed hard.

"I...I fear losing him, even more than myself." He admitted. "I'm scared of become a monster; but I fear the monster devouring him more."

"The sword to the shield. Your love is both impenetrable, yet sharp. Where one protects," She gestured to Tar'eon. "The only defends." She smiled at Astarion who couldn't take his eyes off Tar'eon. "A perfect balance. All you need is the armour. Vulnerability. To truly bare yourselves to the other. Do not let secrets and insecurity fester and build a wall between you. Let truth and honesty by your bridge to one another."

She came closer, and the peaceful enclave disappeared, the sound of the city coming back to them. Tar'eon stared at her with wide eyes. He felt like he been stripped raw and put back together. She truly had dug down deep into them and forced them to face the matters at hand. Their love was not doomed - so long as they spoke to each other in truths and not falsehoods.

"Go in peace, seedlings. And know that you made one whose heart was long quiet beat with love anew." She smiled at them and Tar'eon nodded sharply. "And that you," She gestured to Astarion. "Have gained devotion and loyalty unlike any other you could conceive."

The pair stepped back from her, Tar'eon bowing his head in respect. He wasn't sure if he was supposed to say thank you or not.

"I..." Astarion looked lost for words.

"Me next! This is my girl, Shadowheart. We're ready to test our love, nature lady." Karlach grinned and Shadowheart shook her head, beyond amused.

"It can't hurt, I suppose - unless you embarrass me. Then you might find yourself hurting in a whole manner of ways."

"Hopefully only the good kind." Karlach winked. Tar'eon watched as the pair closed their eyes, turning to look at Astarion.

"You really feel that way?" Astarion asked, casting his gaze aside, unable to look into those mismatched eyes. "I...I knew you cared, but I never assumed I would be above your own life. I should have know, you've always had a gentle heart, trying to save everyone."

"You are above everyone." Tar'eon sighed, resigned to that fact of his life. "It's why I don't want you to do the ritual, Astar. Because I know I'll let you, and those deaths will never stop haunting me, knowing I could have stopped you from doing so. One persons life for several seems only justified, until you love that one person too much to ever hurt them."

"You would?" Astarion frowned. "If I did the ritual...you wouldn't leave?"

"I wouldn't. I'm not sure that's a good thing, though."

"I know you think this is only for power for me - but it's more than that. I'm taking everything from him. I will not be satisfied unless I inflict the same torture he inflicted on all of us. On me." Astarion scowled before his expression softened, looking up at Tar'eon. "I could give us so much more time, Tar'eon. If I ascended - you wouldn't have to fear hurting me. And I would never have to fear you dying long before I ever will. I could change you, make you my equal. Things could be perfect. Forever."

"And I would be haunted by the souls we damned, forever." Tar'eon reminded and shook his head softly. "I don't want to lose you. I fear messing with a devils contract will only bite us in the arse later. That you'll become someone different from the person I love."

"I won't." Astarion sighed, not sure how to get through to the man. "I'll still be me. Just...better."

"You are already perfect, Astar." Tar'eon took his face in his hands and thumbed at his cheeks. "There is nothing better than you. Not to me. You are perfection. You haunt my dreams and thoughts, and they are sweeter than anything I could ever taste. You may think yourself broken or imperfect or weak, but you are beautiful and quintessential and strong to me. You don't need some ritual to become better. You need Cazador dead, and to finally have the chance to move on and live."

He rested his forehead against his, eyes falling shut.

"I want to live with you. Once all of this is over, I want to spend the rest of my life at your side, in whatever way you will have me. I want to be your shield, your armour, your blade. I want to be yours, and for you to be mine. I want to be the modest man who worships the ground you walk on, even if I cannot be the rich man you slit the throat of." He chuckled, slowly opening his eyes to look at Astarion.

His eyes were glossy and wet, but he was refusing to shed tears. Instead, he narrowed his eyes at Tar'eon, lips twisted with bitterness.

"You offer all of that to me and expect me to not want it forever." He took his hands and moved them from his face, stepping back and turning around to weave through the crowd. If he was attempting to disappear within it, he was failing, his white curls sticking out like a sore thumb, but Tar'eon let him go.

He sighed, looking up at the sky. Whatever God was watching over him...He'd like a blessing one of these days.

****

He had really hoped there would be no bloodshed at the circus, but apparently whatever God was watching over him hated him and demanded it. He never thought he'd kill a clown, and yet...

He used the carter of water to wash the blood off his face and armour, offering Astarion one as well. Shadowheart was attempting to wash the paint off Karlach's face, but the tiefling was insisting she liked it and didn't want to ruin his 'art'.

"I'm more interested in kissing my girlfriend, not a butterfly." Which managed to make the barbarian sit patiently (she still wiggled, but it was Karlach) while the cleric rubbed blood and paint off her skin.

"Good! You lot made it back in time for dinner." Gale called as he walked away from the fire, quirking a brow. "Murder on the first day? I shouldn't be surprised, but I am. I thought you were scouting Rivington?"

"We went to the circus." Astarion grumbled.

"The circus? What fun! You know, that might help Yenna's spirits - maybe I'll take her and Wyll out tomorrow."

"Oh, uh, we kind of...killed them." Tar'eon admitted.

"You- you killed the circus? By Mystra - why?!"

"They attacked me first!" Karlach piped up, Shadowheart attempting to scrub blue paint from her cheek, holding her by her horn as she attempted to move away from it like a fussy pet. "They deserved it!"

"Absolute worshippers." Tar'eon explained and Gale sighed.

"All the good things get ruined before I can experience them. Surely I can join you tomorrow?"

"That should be fine. Shadowheart, Karlach, are you two alright to stay at camp tomorrow?"

"I guess. I'll just stay here and eat dirt or something." Karlach pouted.

"I'll stay and make sure she doesn't eat dirt." Shadowheart smirked.

"Gale, we leave early tomorrow."

"Fantastic!" The wizard clapped his hands together. "I'm sure Wyll will be happy to join us too."

"Obviously." Tar'eon smiled, knowing the two were basically a package deal at this point, the same as Karlach and Shadowheart.

"Oh amazing, does that mean I get to stay back too?" Astarion purred. "I mean, with two magic users on your team, surely you don't need my petty dagger, hm?"

"Astarion, you dismiss you own prowess!" Gale shook his head. "We all know an arrow from you is a deadly strike. Your precision is unlike anything a wizard myself could master. Magic is much too wild to have the same effect." Astarion grimaced but he accepted the praise.

"Well...someone has to hold this team together." He relented and tucked a curl behind his ear. "It may as well be yours truly."

"It's settled then. Gale, Wyll, yourself and I." Tar'eon smirked, smiling wider when Astarion glared at him. "Missed a spot, ph myirz." He reached over and wiped some blood off his ear.

"You're the exact reason I need time to read, you infernal bastard." Astarion muttered. He still didn't know what those damn words meant.

"Hm?" Tar'eons eyes crinkled with mischief as he shifted closer to the vampire, leaning in with a smirk. "You are the most radiant man I've ever met, and I want to consume every inch of you to shine half as brightly. I want to suck every last drop of sunlight out of your body through your cock." He let the natural hiss of the language overtake his words, the infernal sliding off his tongue like butter, and laughed into Astarion's shoulder when Karlach squawked.

"You dirty fuck!" She cackled. Tar'eon had forgotten she spent ten years likely speaking infernal to her fellow soldiers.

"I- Gods, what did you say?" Astarion asked, bewildered.

"Apparently something very naughty." Gale smirked.

"Keep studying, and maybe you'll find out." Tar'eon grinned.

"Oh you-" Astarion glowered and shoved him away, retreating to his tent.

"Xe dajy haf!"

"Keep your devils tongue to yourself!"

"That's the opposite of what he wants to do, buddy." Karlach snorted. Astarion closed the flap of his tent sharply and Tar'eon blushed.

"You think I went too far?" He asked.

"He's a big boy. He can take a joke." Shadowheart chuckled.

"Dinner is going to get cold if we keep chatting. Clean yourselves up and come to the fire. Yenna is quite the cook, with a guiding hand." Gale smiled with pride and made his way back to the fire where Wyll was helping Yenna with the hot ladle, pouring stew into a bowl for her.

Tar'eon smiled to himself. Even if her mother never came back for her...he was sure she wouldn't be alone. Not anymore.

****

As per usual, restless sleep plagued him. He scowled as he tossed and turned, trying to find peace in his dreams for once, but it seemed he did not get a choice.

"Naughty, naughty, naughty little master." He growled at the familiar voice, shooting up to face Fel, but he was no longer on his bedroll. Instead he was surrounded by stone, ominously doused in red light, an altar before him. He felt like he was home, yet it was unsettling all at once. Something was wrong. This wasn't camp. This wasn't home.

"You have disobeyed your Father's wishes one time too many." Fel's voice was still heard, but he couldn't see him, walking closer to the skull carved into the wall. There was a sense of dread, but also...belonging. Devotion. This...this was Father.

"For he who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself becomes a monster." The sockets of the skull burst red with magic, staring down upon him. Father was here. Father was watching. "When you gaze long into the abyss, the abyss also gazes into you."

He felt another presence in the room and turned to the altar, the slab of stone he could remember from another dream. The dream where he killed his guardian, his sacrifice. Now, Orin laid there, playing with her blade. A blade that didn't belong to her, his mind whispered with wrath.

"Another will embrace what you have rejected." Orin turned to look at him and he glared in response to her baring of teeth. "And that other will be your death." If he wasn't hers first, his conniving bitch of a sister, always after his destiny-

His destiny? No. No, that wasn't right...

"But your Father loves you dearly. You may reinherit yourself yet." Fel assured even as Orin pointed her dagger at him. His heart began to race. This was all wrong. This wasn't who he was. He wasn't- he couldn't be-!

Orin turned into a fearsome creature, with more spikes and claws and teeth than any beast of the Hells could conjure up. It struck fear into his very soul and he stumbled back as it approached, a heavy foot slamming down into his chest, pinning him to the altar.

"Slaughter your line. Become the last of your name." The Urge, the anger, it screamed in him to do it, to slaughter his sister, but the human part of him, his present self, didn't want to be another pawn in this game.

"Lord Bhaal shall have but one Chosen."

He wanted to be Father's favourite again. He wanted to be his Chosen. He wanted to be forgiven. He wanted to-

He wanted to kill Orin.

Sister or not, Chosen or not, he would kill the woman who stole his memories from him. Stole him from his life. He would kill Bhaal's Chosen, take her stone, and he would set things right.

He woke with a start, breathing hard. Rage burned beneath his skin as snatches of his past came back to him, all coated in gore and blood, in worship and devotion. He had lead his congregations, had been their master for years, and Bhaal...Bhaal had been his. A cruel master and...his father.

He was his spawn. His heir. His child.

That wasn't who he was anymore. He refused to be...All those bodies, all the blood, he would never be able to atone, but regardless, he was a different person entirely. Who he was before - it wasn't who he was now.

Yet he knew he would never be free of his Urge, not until he confronted the past...Orin was an abomination, mad and bloodthirsty. Even without his grudge against her, he knew he had to kill her. To end the Bhaal line with himself. By killing her, he could get her stone, and cut their father off from his plans with the elder brain. He killed Ketheric, and he would kill Orin. He would have all the stones in the palm of his hand. He'd be able to make things right.

'And Enver?' His mind whispered, and he couldn't remember when the mans first name become more familiar to his mind then his last, even with all memories of him being hidden to him or too fuzzy to be certain.

He didn't have an answer for the question, the implication, and that worried him more than anything; even more so when even the Urge did not beg for his bloodied body alongside Ketheric and Orin's.

[agoddamnrayofsunshine]

I appreciate that you actually took the time to apologise, not many people on the internet can be bothered to do that.

I didn’t put quotes or supporting evidence for this post because I wrote it at 3am and I honestly couldn’t be bothered to get my book out and find the evidence I was looking for. I didn’t expect more than a few people to see it, never mind it going viral. This was word vomit. I actually do have a post that I wrote some time ago about how Snow’s character is an effective example of how indoctrination and propaganda is able to affect the next generation, and how it’s clear that so many of Snow’s thinking patterns are dictated by capitol propaganda, but that one didn’t get nearly as much attention as this did.

However, I think at his core, Snow shows that he knows what the morally correct action is, and yet he knowingly chooses not to do it. Obviously there are extenuating reasons for why he might not have done (the main one being the very real threat of capitol punishment), but even internally, where no one can hear him, he spends the books dehumanising people from the districts and judging the people around him. The origin of his hatred of the districts is understandable, but when presented the opportunity by multiple characters (the ones mentioned above) to confront his prejudices, he fails.

I don’t know if people are using the same language as me to express this thought, in fact the first line in the original post was me saying that I was sure someone else had already said my point before, but the interpretation I had was not coming from an echo chamber. These were my own thoughts here. Also, you don’t know Suzanne Collins. You don’t know what she agrees or disagrees with. And even if you did, I am not reading this book as “Suzanne Collins’ personal political opinions” I am interpreting the words on the page separate from whatever the author might have said in an interview. Because what is said in an interview is not evident within the book.

I’m glad you brought up Katniss there, because I think that Katniss and Snow had a very similar storyline, if ending up at opposite ends of the spectrum. Katniss spends her entire story believing that everyone around her is a threat; Peeta, the careers, Finnick, the other districts, the capitol citizens. And she ends the books with the realisation that every single one of them is a victim of an oppressive government. She sees the people who took so much from her (capitol citizens) and recognises that they are not the ones to blame for all her pain and suffering. Snow, on the other hand, has the opportunity to make the same realisation, that the district citizens, especially not the children, are not to blame for his hardships in life. He is shown that the capitol government is cruel to everyone, that they are all victims, and yet he ends his book choosing to become part of the system. To further the injustices that he is fully aware of, to uphold the brutality.

In my interpretation, Snow wasn’t really meant to be likeable (I mean, he spends the majority of the book dunking on Sejanus, as well as poor people, and thinking of Lucy Gray as property). He was meant to be sympathetic though. He faces obvious injustices. He’s forced away from his home to go play soldier in the districts (which is an injustice from the capitol, which he once again ignores and redirects his hatred towards the districts), he grows up poor and half starving. He is meant to be a product of indoctrination, you can see it in his thought patterns. But he is still the maker of all his own choices. I’m not saying he could have joined the rebels and overthrown an oppressive government, I’m saying he was given the opportunity to realise his indoctrination and battle his own prejudices, and yet he refuses to do it.

It’s not on accident that we see both Lysistrata and Tigris have this realisation when Snow doesn’t. That’s there to show that there is a genuine possibility to change which Snow doesn’t allow for. That is the point I would like to make in my post. He has personal agency within this story.

There is no way to filter out other people’s opinions, I’ve seen plenty of bad fandom meta that I don’t agree with, what I do then is ignore it and scroll away, not finish reading it if I know I’m going to disagree with it

I’m sure someone has talked about this before but one thing I absolutely love about tbosas is how Snow’s descent into villainy is never once presented as something that was inevitable

So many villain origin stories portray this idea of a person who tries incredibly hard to be a good person, who takes every opportunity to be kind and to better themselves, but are ultimately doomed to fail by the narrative. Their environment and their circumstances make it impossible for them to be a good person, and while this is effective from a storytelling point of view it’s not exactly accurate to real life

In real life there is always a point where a bad person makes the decision to do something bad, they make the decision to prioritise themselves, their own power, money or desires over someone else. That’s how real life dictators are made, they are presented with every opportunity to be good, and they purposefully choose to not take it

This makes Snow’s storyline so effective because he is given so many opportunities to do the right thing and yet, at every single turn, he chooses to serve himself instead, exactly like how real dictators are made

Snow, unlike most people we see in the capitol, is in a unique position where he could genuinely have the chance to understand and relate to the people from the districts. He, unlike his classmates, is poor and spends most nights going hungry, he witnessed firsthand the cruelty of the capitol when Clemensia was bitten by the snakes for nothing more than lying about doing her homework, when his sister was forced to sell herself on the streets in order to feed the both of them

Throughout his book, the three people he is closest to are Tigris (who dislikes the hunger games, is a rebel, and a victim of the capitol forced to turn to prostitution), Sejanus (who is originally from district 2, dislikes the capitol and knows he will never be accepted there, and also a rebel) and Lucy Gray (who is a victim of the hunger games, from district 12, and is also treated horribly by the capitol). These are all people who gave him an opportunity to realise the cruelty of the system he was in, a chance to directly confront his prejudices and see that people from the districts are just the same as him, and yet he still refuses to take the chance to change

He is given every opportunity, he’s sent away from the capitol to be a peacekeeper in the districts, he forms personal connections with people from the districts, he helps Sejanus perform funeral rites, and yet at every moral crossroads he comes to he makes the wrong decision. He didn’t have to become a villain, and yet he made the choice to do so anyway, despite every chance he was given

I think it’s a really effective portrayal of Snow as a character, and it’s a very effective villain origin story for the type of villain that Snow is. It never once excuses him from his actions because it highlights just how accountable he was for his actions

[coffeewithcutcaffeine]

What are Laura's biggest strengths and weaknesses?

Thank you so, so much for sending this ask my way, my dearest! I also want to apologise for taking forever to get to answer it — I hope my reply will be satisfactory nonetheless. ❤️️

I do apologise if the list turns out to be a little meh. I tried to come up with some essentials first, both to kind of slip back into Laura's world and perhaps re-introduce her to those who did not have the chance to witness my shenanigans back in my fandom days of gloom skdsksdks I am also trying to follow my instinct these days and shape Laura's character the way I previously wanted to. I hope she will be loved this way nonetheless.

STRENGTHS:

She is highly independent. She can come up with multiple solutions on her own and is comfortable spending extended periods of time alone. She can navigate her surroundings with ease and is unafraid to tackle more challenging tasks without extensive guidance, whether manual or intellectual.

She strives to be an open-minded person. The word strive is important here as she does not always manage to be all understanding and compassionate — she gets very defensive when being treated rudely or dismissively (as was the case with her initial interactions with Ethan and Aurora). However, she herself knows well what it is like to being looked down upon, treated condescendingly, or openly harrassed. Her impressions are usually formed based on the behaviour of others, but she refrains from judging anyone based on their surname, ethnicity, sexuality, religion, etc. Her curiosity often leads her to embrace and learn from these differences as much as possible.

She is selfless. This is a strongly rooted part of her personality. She will never hesitate to share the last crumb, help those in need, show understanding towards those who are neglected or scorned. She would help others even if she herself had very little. She believes that not looking away from the problems of others is the highest form of humanity one can show.

She is courageous. She will always speak out for herself and for others, she is the first person to defend someone who is treated wrongly. (She also greatly values that in others because it carries important implications — in her eyes, that person is not looking out for themselves and their comfort but genuinely cares about others.) Not being afraid and refusing to be silenced is important to her, but she never sees it as something extremely heroic. She will do it even when she is aware that it will come back to bite her in the ass — she cannot help herself. It is simply a matter of maintaining her self-respect.

She is ambitious, excels at logical reasoning, is articulate and good at thinking on her feet, which makes her a very efficient leader of the Diagnostic Team.

Others often describe her as humble, though she does not see herself that way. She is perceived as someone who seldom complains during tough times, can be content with little, and even feels rather uncomfortable in the world of the rich once she becomes more exposed to it. She hardly ever proudly acknowledges her own achievements, she never brags — she will endlessly praise others but feel flustered when praised herself.

WEAKNESSES:

Ironically — she is highly independent. This positive trait certainly has its dark side because it means that she often has a hard time asking for help when she truly needs it. When she starts a long-term relationship, she needs time to adjust to the idea that there is this other person she can rely on and be comfortable around in her vulnerability. This trait also makes group activities challenging for her because she is accustomed to doing things her own way.

She often feels insecure and struggles with imposter syndrome. Her insecurities about her appearance may upset her briefly, but she typically dismisses them over time. However, she is highly critical of herself regarding her life and career choices, always striving to improve and validate herself. At one point, she experiences severe burnout.

She sometimes reacts more intensely and impulsively than necessary. (However, she at least attempts to handle potentially complicated consequences as reasonably as possible.)

She tends to self-sabotage certain areas of her life — well, certain. Relationships. Some of her life experiences have taught her not to rely on a romantic partner in any way. If complications arise, she tends to be the first one to leave. Ending things first is her way of protecting herself from potential hurt.

Also, two bonus characteristic traits that I am placing under the category of neutrals just to add some golden nuggets! 🤭

When it comes to certain areas of her life, she is a very, very stubborn person. Once she makes up her mind, there is no one who would convince her to consider a different possibility.

She is superstitious. She considers it unlucky to pass an object over the doorway. She never eats from a knife as that will make one an angry person. If she has an important evaluation coming up, she always places study material beneath her pillow at night so that she absorbs the knowledge better. Her lucky charms are almost sacred to her.

[dearfriendletters]

Dear Friend,

You really don’t give a shit about me do you? For the past 8 months I’ve been asking to have some time and space to try and speak openly with the aim of making a few things better in our friendship. Your lack of effort and willingness to even try is breaking me down. You know that it’s having a big impact on me, that I’m hanging on by my fingertips and experiencing dark thoughts and yet you still refuse to make the time which I’ve told you is incredibly important to me. Your excuses of being busy are simply not good enough and come across as disrespectful - 8 months! What I’m asking for is the bare minimum of a friendship. Is my request so unreasonable?

In the absence of these conversations I’m just left feeling like you’re intentionally hurting me and taking pleasure from it. I will always try to own my part in things but you either choose not to see or don’t care that you contribute equally with your actions, words or more often lack of those things. You are aware of your impact.

I let very few people get close to me, I let you in and instead of understanding the magnitude of that you’re currently using this deeply personal knowledge to inflict hurt. I didn’t change, you did and now you’re blaming and punishing me for being upset, uncomfortable, rejected and confused with it. I don’t want this to be an ongoing issue as I’m sure you don’t either but if we don’t discuss stuff it’s never getting better and just becomes a bigger issue.

I do miss the mark and make you feel bad sometimes (which is a guess as you cannot seem to communicate effectively unless you’re furious and lay into me) but everything I try to do comes from a place of good intentions, a genuine care for you and desire to have a great friendship for many years to come.

Lately everything you project screams “I don’t give a fuck about you” When you know I’m in great pain you seem to turn it up a notch, during times that I need a friend or reach out for help, along with systematically chipping away each day, twisting the mental anguish with your distance, coldness, lack of engagement and withholding of stuff and when I reach the point of meltdown for several days (and this is the stage where I feel out of control and I know I’m impacting you) you’ll be nice for a single day or worse pretend it’s never happened with “yeah I’m all good” - which is fucked up.

You tell me ‘it needs to stop’ but never once have you seemed to consider you need to stop and that no matter what I bring up, you never take responsibility and immediately turn it back to me - own it like an adult. I’ve tried to talk to you about it, find solutions and get back to a more normal space but you refuse. It shouldn’t be that I’m the problem or you’re the problem… it should be us against the problem or we’re going to be stuck in this anxious/avoidant loop.

I do not want or need a response but what I do need is for you to make the effort, reflect on your contributions, own and apologise for your actions, open up and step up to make a plan for us to talk properly.

Despite the current feelings, you know how much you mean to me, I literally think the world of you, you’re very important, your unique qualities bring something very special to my life. Please meet me halfway, please.

[chancedarling]

It's almost as though a switch is flipped. All of that drive and purpose seems to drain out of her in a moment. Not so rigid and snapping - both physically or verbally. Chance has to wonder if it's exhaustion settling in (because he's pretty fucking exhausted himself, but - this is prime time, opportune moments - weary minds become unguarded - and that is something he refuses to let pass him by).

She comes round to the idea of water. And that's something. Of course she doesn't just stick her head under the tap like a curious cat, lapping away at the trickle. There's still a manner of practicality about her. And forward thinking. Her original goal is out of sight, so she had refocused... Boil, cool, drink. Make it safe. Weary then, but still wholly in tune with their immediate situation. She might be an abrasive bitch, but she sure as hell is practical... Useful.

Chance just nods like the eager to please puppy, setting the spatula aside and taking the pan. There's a moment of noise that seems abruptly loud in otherwise silence of the little hut. Water against metal seeming to blast the senses for a moment, before he's turning the tap down to a more manageable flow...

"Oh, damn... sorry, your headache... Sorry."

A slight grimace at the momentary clamour and a quick apology. (As if her slamming the cupboard doors and drawers hadn't been loud enough).

But it's echoed in a 'sorry' of her own. Hmm... Self-realisation? Maybe. He's not sure what exactly she's apologising for, but it's there regardless. Self-aware too then. Abrasive but useful was turning out to be intriguing indeed.

Making a point of putting the pan onto the hob 'quietly' he fiddles with a couple of the dials before he figures out which works which and he flicks it on... Power. Heat.

These 'too clean' neat little cabins with their power and water. Little abodes just away from the shoreline like a commune settlement.

Too fucking convenient.

He watches her move from the corner of his eye. And that sofa looks real fucking comfortable about now. Something to stretch out on and let the bliss of sleep overwhelm him. Undoubtedly, Chance is on the last of the fuel in his own tank, but he's going to keep pushing regardless. He can't... Won't... Succumb. Not yet. The crash will be hard when it hits, but hopefully, it'll be worth it.

You’re doing an excellent job Chance

Well fuck him sideways with a rusty rake. Was that - a compliment? Abrasive and useful may also be condescending, but she's saying it to the person Chance is being to her right now. Give the puppy a treat. A scritch behind the ear. Keep it happy.

He's boiling a pot of water for fucks sake. You should see what he can do with the dow jones on a slow day.

However the puppy obligingly wags it's tail... Or rather, Chance turns and casts a bright, pleased smile over his shoulder at the 'praise'.

Ah, and now the idle chit-chat. Okay, he can oblige with that too. Drip feed a little rambling nonsense, close enough to the truth not to be an outright lie, close enough to a lie to reveal nothing about the truth.

"You mean for like... A living...? Oh.... Uh, that is what I do."

He turns now, resting against the cabinet to one side of the pan, glancing back and forth between the pot and the woman on the couch. A watched pot never boils. Of course it fucking does. What kind of bollocks is that? But he manages to once again look a little nervous at the revelation. Because hey, lets keep peoples expectations nice and low...

"I... Play games. For money. Poker and stuff... Online. Sometimes video games. They have tournaments with prizes and... Uhm... Yeah."

"It's kinda neat though... I can live off what I like doing and... It's fun and I have a lot of friends online from like - all over the world - and..."

Suitably both enthused and sheepish. Because playing games was a slackers life, right?

(It really depended on the game).

"W-what do you do? If you, uh... Don't mind me asking?"

Like he gives a shit if she minds of not. There are a few guesses, for sure. He's pretty sure he saw her hovering around people on the beach... A leader. A professional of some kind. A take charge make way kind of person... But why speculate when you can simply - ask?

Akhila didn’t know what to anchor herself against, the island was idyllic save for the monotonous chirpy voice but it didn’t feel steady. The young lad, well, he shouldn’t be carrying burdens, much less her own. Akhila leant against the doorframe that separated the two rooms. He doesn’t know Panganiban, so there goes her idea of getting him to squirrel away and find the so-called survivalist. Akhila was in two minds whether he up to his neck in it, or actually knew what he was talking about. He was loud. Maybe that’s all they needed right now to make it over the initial horror of being left behind.

Meanwhile, before she could put into action any haphazard plans Akhila’s staring at him, Chance. He’s been stood there this entire time and as irritating as it is, Akhila can’t totally begrudge him for it. Clearly the young man is in shock. He’s been clutching the spatula like it was his lifeline. Couple of fried eggs, toast and bacon, they’d all be right as rain. She is hungry, she can’t remember the last time she’d eaten and as tasty as the feast smelt. Akhila knew she couldn’t succumb to it.

Water.

In her desire to keep people happy, off her back, and perhaps aid her own woes. She’d overlooked the key to their success, and survival. Akhila slumped, she was getting sloppy and that was how mistakes were made. “We’ll need to drink.” Akhila agreed. He’d abandoned the spatula to fiddle with the tap, proving it had a supply of water.

They had no way of knowing how clear the supply was, and if it was safe to drink. “We should boil it first.” Regardless, Akhila had conceded. She came back to the tiny kitchenette to help produce a large pot and passed it to Chance so he could fill. 

It wouldn’t guarantee their safety, but it was a step up over drinking it plain. There was every chance it was safe to drink and this was an unnecessary step. Akhila would rather not risk it. “Sorry…” She said quietly, supporting herself against the countertop. Akhila had let herself be swept up by the force of her own adrenaline, but without a true final purpose. 

“You’re doing an excellent job Chance.” She reassured him, in the same way she reassured residents—reluctantly. Akhila had been reprimanded more than once for her bedside manner, for patients and colleagues alike. Akhila’s gaze searched beyond him and settled on one of the sofas. The moment she sits down, everything feels as though it unravels. Akhila doesn’t know where to begin piecing it back together. “What do you do, besides gaming that is?” 

[starlightandfairies]

Hi! Could you do a billy request where he gets the reader pregnant and is nervous as hell? She’s friends with the party but he isn’t. Somehow hopper ends up giving him advice on fatherhood? I read an imagine like this and it made me almost cry. I hope this isn’t against your rules and if your requests are closed I’m SO sorry. Thank you either way!

Description: Billy gets the reader pregnant and both are going through the stress of being in teen parenthood. Hopper gives Billy a talk to reassure him of what was to come.

Warnings: Swearing, she/her pronouns, fluff, angst, teen pregnancy, new parent stress and general stress.

Key: Y/N = Your Name, POV = Point of view

Word Count: 1,535

First Person's POV

I hadn't been feeling well the last couple of days, I'd been throwing up and my appetite has been all over the place. Then a couple of weeks ago, Billy and I had unprotected sex. We risked it, now I've been going into overdrive about the whole situation. I bought a pregnancy test, peed on a stick and I've been dreading reading the results for the last few minutes. My whole world froze as I stared at the results, I couldn't move nor breathe. What would I tell Billy? How would he react? What's he going to do once he hears? Is he gonna break up with me? 

I jumped as the door opened, I quickly placed the stick behind my back, staring at Billy as he quickly turned away apologising consistently for invading my space. 

"Billy, come back in... please?"  begged, he opened the door and looked at me with a confused gaze. I stuck the stick in my back pocket and took his hands. I gently placed Billy on the bathtub edge and then sat down on the toilet across from him. 

"Is everything okay? Doll, what's up?" He whispered, I held my shaky hands, doing it as a way to stop them from shaky. 

"No." I quickly splurted out, Billy took my hands, staring at me worriedly, he knew something was up but I didn't want to lose him and this kindness that the boy held. 

"Please, don't get mad, just put me down gently and I'll help you pack." 

"What are you talking about?" He moved closer to me, cupping my face in his hands and staring deep into my eyes like he was trying to figure out what was going on. 

"Billy, I'm sorry, I'm pregnant." I could feel my lip quivering as the tears welled in my eyes, Billy pulled me into his arms and kissed my forehead. 

"You're pregnant! I'm gonna be a dad? Oh, doll, I'm never leaving you and you don't need to freak out." He whispered, I sniffled into his shoulder and giggled as he started spraying kisses over my face. 

"You're gonna be a mum! I'm gonna be a dad! Oh, I promise you that I will look after you - hand and foot." 

Billy has been great since we found out, he's been taking a couple of extra shifts at work, and he's been helping me with getting the right baby furniture. I'm now three months pregnant and my bump is only just starting to get noticeable. Yet still good enough to be hidden, I'm so nervous and so scared about having this baby, how am I meant to be a mum? I don't know anything about raising a child, I'm only a teen and I'm already freaking out about supporting my baby finically. 

"Doll, stop worrying, you are gonna be an excellent mother. I can see you picking flowers with our little girl or boy, I can see you protecting them from the scary stuff out there. I can see you reading your favourite stories, telling them who to hate and who to love. You're gonna be awesome, I love you and you don't need to worry." He whispered coming up from behind, hugging me gently, not wanting to squeeze my stomach. I giggled as he kissed the side of my forehead and took my hands, leading me to the car, so we could get Max. 

With the adventures that take place here, the party refuse to let me help out until I have the baby, I can only be the communication of the expo. Dustin had become the most protective, the sweet boy making sure I didn't injure myself and babying me more than Billy has. He's been pissing Billy off, but he's been a real sweetheart about he's taken it out with the party and treated them as nice as he could before he lost his shit. I know Billy's also been really nervous, he's been promising to not ever be like his father but he still worries about making sure to not be a deadbeat dad and wanting us to have a secure and happy home life. 

I've caught him staying up super late, reading parenting books, counting money to put aside and putting together a bag for when the baby is due to come and he's already taking it everywhere with us. Billy has been protective, as well as more responsible, he's not smoking anymore nor is he drinking to the extent that he did. The boy doesn't get in any fights anymore unless it's to defend my honour. 

I laughed as Dustin took my hands, dragging me away from Billy and showing me one of his games that he won a high score on. 

Billy's POV 

She's perfect, I love her, I worry for her and I worry about her not being safe. I want her to be happy and I don't know anything about raising a baby! What the hell am I supposed to do? I grew up with a father who's a dirtbag, my mum left earlier on and I've been a real asshole, I know that there's no way I'll be my dad and that I don't need to worry about how Y/N would be with the baby. She's already great with Max's friends and is so much better in general than I could ever really be. 

"You good there, kid?" I looked at Hopper, he must've been here to get El, I shook my head and watched as Y/N cheered Dustin on, praising him for something he did in the game. 

"No, not at all, what am I meant to do for her? She's freaking out, but she's been doing her best to be happy about the whole ordeal and I don't even know the next thing about raising a kid. I've been a shit brother to Max, definitely don't have role model parents. I don't want to end up like my father, it's everything but who I want to be and that girl deserves someone who knows what they're doing. I've built a crappy crib, I've been going through all the books and it's not helping." I didn't mean to spill out all my emotions to him and so I continued rambling random bottled-up bullshit. 

"Billy, you don't need to worry, you're gonna suck and you're gonna fail but you're gonna learn from those mistakes. Y/N is gonna be lucky with you, Billy, you are already a better man than your father is and I know you would never hurt that girl or the baby. If you have a girl, you're gonna be so lost once she becomes a preteen, you won't know shit and she'll expect you to know what's happening. It's gonna be scary once she goes through her first period or any other girlie stuff. You'll interrogate her date when they come to the door, you'll then comfort her when she goes through all her break-ups. If you have a boy, you'll do stupid shit with him, Y/N will scold you both she'll tell you that she's right and then when you fail at the stupid shit she'll tell you that she was." I chuckled at his words, knowing that Hopper had a point and I could see Y/N doing all that stuff. 

"You'll raise the boy in a comforting environment, you'll worry that if you scold him for doing something wrong that you could cross the realms of your father but you never will. Your kid will hate you when you ground them, but they'll still love you and you have Y/N at your side who will reassure you about what you need to do and you'll have a good cop bad cop routine. You're gonna be so scared every day, you'll never know what's going to happen next but that's the good thing about parenthood." Y/N walked over, waiting to make sure we weren't talking and kissed my cheek as I wrapped an arm around her waist. 

"How are you doing, Y/N?" Hopper asked, she smiled and nodded. 

"Good, thank you and yourself?" I loved this about her, she always checked in on people and it was just hired wired into her, Hopper nodded and gave me a look before he walked away. 

"What about you?" I stared at her, smiling happily and kissed her forehead. The girl took my hand, chuckling as she started swinging my hands around. 

I thought about Hopper's words, it was reassuring even though it was stressful. Yet, Y/N was already perfect and I was suddenly feeling so much more confident with raising the baby with the girl.