#i really wholeheartedly Am doing better this year than last

[sevens-evan]

anyways sorry for ventposting i go back to college on sunday and i had a nightmare abt it last night and i feel very weird today <3

[desireangel]

Infernal Desires | Part One

Aemond Targaryen x fem!Reader

Synopsis: When your family is caught up in treasonous scandal, the Prince Regent makes an offer that is impossible to refuse. To avoid what certainly would have been death by his sword, your family promises you to a man who is followed by whispers of violence and sin.

Warnings: mdni 18+! Strictly. Dark-ish ??? Aemond! Bad language, reader is implied to be from a certain family but not really, rushed & unedited. Sexual tension, allusions to sex, mentions of death and killing, Aemond gets angry handsy, hair pulling, mention of the noose bc Aemond would never tell just anyone how he feels. This is mainly a word vomit - I am once again incapable of limiting my writing to one part.

Word Count: 3.4k

A/N: aaand I’m back with a rewrite of an old fic I started last year! hopefully this is somewhat decent to follow along with - I wrote this while severely sleep deprived, stressed about procrastinating my uni work and knackered from work. Let me know if we are even interested in a part 2 or if I’ve missed any warnings!

It is a debt to be paid and an alliance to be made, that is all it is. 

Easy enough for them to say. After all, it was you who suffered from the mistakes of your family and not them. They may as well have left you to the dangers of King’s Landing with nothing more than a shattered dignity and the tears that trailed down your cheeks. 

Shit. Crying wasn’t going to do anything and while you never intend to present yourself as weak to anyone, there was nothing you could do to stop the angry tears that welled in your eyes. You wondered if your parents truly pained to see their daughter cry or if the tremble in your mother’s lip was nothing more than a pretence. 

Your father stared at the ground by your feet. “It was not meant to come to this.”

“But it did. Are you really going to barter me to–”

“We are not bartering you. Stop saying that,” He snapped. “All you will have to do is take the title as his wife and give him children. It cannot be that bad.”

The glare you sent his way was full of malice and rage. How could he say that? You were better than that, smarter than that and the thought of being reduced to who knows what that man had in store for you as his wife - they may as well have cut your tongue out and made you a slave. Knowing that your family, whom you loved endlessly, were so sure of selling you so easily to a cruel man like Aemond Targaryen caused a dull ache in your chest. 

It seemed hard to breathe through the betrayal, your chest heavy with deceit and heartbreak. Had you known what your father had been planning, you could have run away and found a way to survive without the comfort of your family lands. 

“What Prince Aemond has offered has saved us,” Jericho stood leaning lazily against the wall, arms crossed over his chest. He stared at you, his little sister who would have died before leaving him to such a fate. “I do not expect you to understand the complex relationships between our Houses but consider this, dear sister. Would you rather him have the Vale burned to ashes? Have us hung from the walls of the Red Keep? I made a mistake. I know this, and I am sorry but this is the only choice we have.”

There was a tense silence. Jericho had ruined everything with little chance of repair and it was you who had to pay the price. You knew how the Crown punished Rhaenyra’s sympathisers and Jericho had damned the future of your family. What was happening is wrong - war is never worth the price it takes. You wholeheartedly agreed with that but there was something inherently stupid about putting the people you cared about at risk just to send a raven with a conditional offer of a bent knee. 

You blinked as you tried to make sense of it all. “Explain it to me. I do not understand.”

“Aemond Targaryen is Prince Regent but I was once his only friend,” Jericho said. You knew he used the word friend strategically. “He extended an olive branch. Repent our House’s treachery through our last daughter and a pin for the Vale on King Aegon’s map. You could not understand how generous that is. Refusing would have been a sentence of death.”

Friend? Generous?  You would have laughed if you could. You briefly wondered how Jericho had managed to barter with the Prince Regent before they had taken his head. Alas, it would be of no use to ask a question you would get no answer to. The men of these walls underestimated the capabilities of a woman’s mind and a woman’s strength. 

“All he gains is something to hold over your head, brother. Paying off your mistakes with my life? You have heard the stories - he has become a cruel man. Warming his bed when he sees fit and making his heirs will not fix what you did. Many have been executed for far less.”

Your father cleared his throat. “It is our only option. We have nothing more to offer in place and a ruined reputation. The family name holds the last of our power and without what little power we have left, your brother and I would lose the Vale. It is a miracle we have not already.”

“The Prince wants to dangle you over our heads? Fine. If that is what it takes for him to spare our lives.” Jericho’s voice was so rough. It was the first time you had seen him as anything other than gentle to you and you felt a heaviness at the sight of him so distressed. 

There was not much left for you outside of the empty empire that your father’s father had built for your family. At least you still had each other and your titles, and despite the situation that they’ve forced you into, at the end of the day, you all loved each other to death. It would have been a death sentence but you could have run away instead, could have found a life for yourself somehow. But how could you live with yourself knowing that you’d damned those you love because of your pride and fear of life as a princess?

So reluctantly and tearfully, you nod your head and silently agree.

Aemond wondered whether he was making the right decision by giving Jericho a second chance. If it were anyone else, he would have had them hung without a second thought. But you and your brother were different. 

It was a moment of weakness, an inexcusable lapse in his judgment to have spared Jericho’s treason because he remembered you and to have further justified his actions by claiming the Vale through your betrothal. While it was his first and foremost motivation and Aemond was bound by duty to take advantage of the opportunity, it was not the only reason he had suggested the idea at the Small Council.

There was hardly a person in Aemond’s life whom he could call a friend. There was not a soul in this world that Aemond could truly trust, not even Jericho who had been by his side for the first parts of his childhood. 

Nor you, who had at once shown him kindness in his youth despite the mockery that was often made of him. You had only accompanied your brother and father to King’s Landing on three occasions, and what started as your soft conversation and willing smiles for him had left his memory entirely until he heard word of Jericho’s treacherous message. 

Aemond, despite your attempts at friendship, had never returned your kindness. In truth, he didn’t know how to. And quickly, your smiles had turned to frowns and your attempts at friendly talk had become sarcastic remarks and quiet scoffs.

It was also a moment of selfishness and a decision made with nothing more than foolish curiosity. You had always been there, in the back of the picture and unnoticed by everyone apart from him. There was not a person in this world who had peaked his curious desire more than you and the two of you had spent the brief occasions together bickering and pestering one another. Regardless of your initial efforts, Aemond was never your friend. While he had never actually done you wrong before now, you were never really fooled by his deceiving nonchalance and forced manners. 

The indifference that you had for each other had no cause to fade. Even less so with the recent murderous, vile stories of Aemond the Kinslayer who killed his nephew and (while most wouldn’t dare utter the words beyond certain walls) who may have crippled his own brother with Vaghar’s fire. You had almost fallen to your knees upon hearing of your betrothal to such a man.

Aemond was now twenty and three but when it came to whatever distorted plot he was planning, he felt juvenile. Your brother and your father were the perfect pawns. You were the perfect leverage - perhaps a pawn yourself. As much as he convinced himself that having you in his possession would mean he would have invaluable power over your House to do exactly as he wanted within his twisted politics while he has the power to do so, the idea of having you in the palm of his hand, in his control and eventually beneath his body was exciting. 

He was never one for meaningless entertainment. But what was the harm in indulging himself this once?

It was a formality. Being presented at King’s Landing for the first time to your future husband, his family and to those whom he currently ruled over as the woman to be his wife. 

You had changed since the last time Aemond had seen you. It had only been two years but he would never admit to his surprise at just how different you had become from the cowering young girl he remembered you to be when you were just ten and four. 

He had rushed through the formalities of greeting you and your family, welcoming you into what would come to be your home. The lunch was painfully awkward as little was said between anyone. The Dowager Queen spoke formally yet kindly with your mother and shared a few words with you but you could barely engage with her conversation under the burning gaze of the Prince Regent who sat across from you.

It was over quickly, before anyone could start bickering about the traitorous reasons behind your presence. Aemond shortly convinced his mother that no escort would be needed, so long as Ser Criston Cole was there when you both were left to acquaint yourselves in private. You gulped as you were lead shamelessly into the Prince’s chambers. 

Aemond only set a glance upon Ser Criston and the raven haired man took his place outside the closed doors.

You were sure that the Prince’s chambers were as large as an entire wing of your own home yet you felt claustrophobic under his gaze. His eye was hellfire as he silently stared at you, leaning back in his chair and resting his fingers under his chin. There was little you could do but stare back at him, anxiously tapping your foot on the marbled floor.

In your eyes, Aemond had always been torturously beautiful. But here, as his gaze fell upon you and you shared the silence of his personal space, he was ethereal. It caused your breath to catch as you waited for him to address you first.

Shakily, you broke the silence. “Why am I here, my Prince?”

“You are to be my wife,” He drawled, fingers tapping on the desk that he lazily dragged his hand along. What a stupid question. “That is why you are here.”

“I believe you know that is not what I ask, my Prince.” You scowled at him. It wasn’t smart to talk to him in such a way, you knew that. He is Prince Regent, after all. A memory of your brother’s warning to be careful flashed briefly in your mind. 

His expression deceivingly calm, Aemond considered putting you in your place. He may be behaving in a way he does not recognise of himself but he would not tolerate your disrespect. 

Instead, he somewhat answered your question. “We will be married so that your brother’s treason shall be forgiven and your House will be sworn to the King. You will stay here, in my chambers. Do whatever the seven hells you please, it does not matter.”

In any other instance, Aemond would have detested the sight of you gaping at him, stumbling over your words stupidly as your wide eyes confidently held his own. You had changed. Or maybe he had just been blind to the perfect curves of your body or the way you looked at him like he ruled the realms, so submissive yet so full of fire. So tempting. 

He’d condemn himself to the noose before ever admitting to his thoughts. 

“What?” you almost gasped. There was no chance that you could stay in his chambers like this. You were sure the whispers of the Keep were already running amok with Aemond’s insistence on isolating the two of you behind the doors to his private chambers.

Aemond took pleasure in the way you seethed. “I will not make it so easy for you to return to scheming with your treasonous family.”

You could hit him. If he weren’t a Prince, you would have. “You are keeping me prisoner? For something I have had no such hand in?”

“No,” he stood from the table and in two strides, he was in front of you. So close that you could smell the woody oils he bathed in mixing with the smell of his musk and the leather of his clothes. You shuddered. “Maybe I am. Call it what you like. You can do as you please, eat as you please, wear whatever you please, you can explore these halls as you wish. I do not care. But you will listen to me and it will all be as per my will.”

Before you could respond, Aemond continued. “For all they know, I’ve made it clear to everyone that you will stay in the chambers that I have chosen for you, on the other side of that wall.”

Aemond’s eye was a violet-blue inferno as it held yours. He was closer now and you let your eyes drag across every part of his devastating face, swallowing at his beauty and wondering what lay under the leather of his eye patch. 

Struggling not to lose your breath, not to lean in to touch him and feel him, you held your head high and turned your back to him. “Fuck you.”

A gasp fell from your lips as Aemond’s hand found the back of your head in an instant, slender fingers weaving into your hair gently before closing into a tight fist and pulling back slowly so that you were forced to look up at the roof, the back of your head resting against his chest. His other hand wrapped around your waist, holding you back firmly against him. The tightness of his grip on your hair ached and left you dizzy, an unfamiliar longing for his hands to find more of you with the same fervour had you holding back a pathetic whine. 

Suddenly, you were burning from head to toe, a fire setting on your skin as he held you roughly against him, so close that you felt the feather light tickle of his breath grazing your hair when he spoke. He was scorching you through the leather of his tunic, your dress doing little to shield you from the heat of his body.

More than his anger, Aemond’s amusement made the air heavy. The way he unashamedly let his stare fall upon your lips, tucked between your teeth as you struggled to hold your glare, had your breath snatched from your lungs. 

Aemond dropped his head enough so that his lips lingered just under your ear, close enough that you could hear him draw in a breath, dragging his nose across the dip where your jaw met your neck. Your face burned at how shamelessly he had inhaled your soft scent.

“Is that how you talk to your Prince?” Aemond’s voice was low, dripping with a dominance that commanded respect. Placing his free hand on your left shoulder, he slowly turned you to face him, making sure to keep you tightly pressed against him.

Aemond was disastrously beautiful. The curve of his nose, the strength in his jaw, the way his scar painted the top of his cheek, the soft fall of his pin straight hair and the soft shine of his lips which you so badly yearned to feel. You cursed yourself for thinking such a thing as his low voice broke you out of your distraction. “This is my home. Right now, all of Westeros is mine. You are here because I said so, because I own everything. Everything. Including you. You would do well to remember your place while you are here, pretty thing.”

The fire in your blood was rage. You had never felt such desire that had your body craving another. It was anger driving you mad, it had to be. Despite your better judgment, you whispered once again, “Fuck. You.”

His jaw ticked and with a strong yank, you were flush against him. The pounding of your heart was violent and you were sure he could feel it against his chest but you were stuck under his burning gaze. Aemond was angry. And you couldn’t help but think that it suited him. It made him all the more desirable. 

Aemond was strong and hard against your body, tense as he held you so intimately yet so roughly. 

By the gods, you couldn’t even think. What was happening? 

“My Pr-”

“Quiet,” Aemond commanded. His deep voice, raspy with lust and with rage sent shockwaves down your spine. “What a mouth on you, my Lady. Fuck me, is that so?”

You muttered incoherently under your breath, the desire and the fear making your eyes flutter shut as you trembled against the Prince who held you so roughly.

“Hm,” Aemond chuckled when you let out a short whimper. He squeezed you tightly, his voice low and dark. “I could have you begging on your knees, crying for my cock all day and all night and you would never deserve it. You best careful, ñuha dāria, because I can ruin you.”

Another gasp fell from your lips and Aemond took pleasure in the way you squirmed against him, thighs pressing together as you felt the flush of his words through your body. He hummed, you were so reactive. Somehow, you fit perfectly against him, so that he could feel every little tremor he caused in your body, every goosebump that he placed on your skin. His gaze never left you, his resolve solid as iron. 

Your mouth watered at the thought of the things that Aemond could do to you. Thoughts you had never imagined yourself capable of harbouring, especially not for a man like Aemond Targaryen. It overwhelmed you - he overwhelmed you. 

But all you had to do was glance at the map that was splayed over his table and the weaponry he had discarded at the foot of it before you were trying to shove him away from you. Aemond stepped away from you upon noticing the panic in your movements. You barely noticed the flash of worry that passed through his features before he so skilfully replaced his mask. 

The rise and fall of your chest was heavy and you had the sudden urge to punch the sultry smirk right off of Aemond’s face. That was not okay. Right now, you didn’t even want to think about the way your body reacted to him, they way you would have let him have his way with you right there and then despite all the consequences that would rain down upon you. 

“I will not stay in here,” You closed your eyes to avoid his stare, chest heaving as you caught your breath and reminded yourself of the formalities of Aemond’s title. And of the possible repercussions for denying him so stubbornly. “My Prince, it is not appropriate.”

You hadn’t heard him make his way across the room until you heard the door open. Aemond hesitated, his resolve was not as strong as he had thought given the way his heart was beating as if he had run a mile. The strain at his pelvis was almost painful and his hands urged to be tangled in your hair again, squeezing your hips, feeling the warmth of your skin underneath your clothing. Perhaps you weren’t wrong and Aemond returned to his hardened self at the thought of being unable to control his desires. 

“Hm,” he drawled, stoic as ever and standing tall at the doorway and gazing down at you over his shoulder with a red hot spark in his eye. Aemond’s mind raced with a million words, many in the alluring language he knew you could not understand and they all tasted dangerous on his tongue. “You are not wrong. It is not appropriate until we are wed, ñuha dāria.”

[lookingthroughmirrors]

Do you think there are insanely few couples with Percy in this fandom? Characters that are well thought out and have a backstory. For example, Rachel and Percy are an interesting dynamic and a repetition of the Theseus myth with a different end to the story. Or Percy and Michael Yu (Apollo's son who fell off the bridge) It would be interesting if he survived: Percy feeling guilty for the fall, and Michael comforting him. Or Will and Percy, where both feel the guilt of the survivor (Will is the doctor, and Percy is the commander and leader), or the same Percy and Nico with their story and attempts to talk. Percy and Ethan would be a real pain in the ass with a story and explanations. But they don't nominate them as a couple? Like Pernico, they can be found, but everything else? Will's only fanfiction/The Percy I found was the one where he cheated on Apollo with Will, and Will cheated on Nico with Percy. And I really can't stand cheating.

I think it’s a shame how little other shops there are. Personally I love Percy and Ethan, because I think that dynamic is really interesting, particularly when you highlight the fact that Percy didn’t like the gods, and that Percy ends up thinking that Luke wasn’t necessarily wrong. I might be biased tho bc I am currently a Percy and Ethan oneshot bc I couldn’t find more than one good Fic about that ship.

I also, hot take, think Percy and Leo are a possibly very interesting match. I’m also currently writing a oneshot about them too. But I think they both have powers that related closer to each others than anyone else. They both at some point fear their own powers (at least as far as I’m aware, I’ve not finished HOO so my Leo knowledge is a bit small) and I think they could have a very cool dynamic. Missed opportunity to for Percy to see someone struggling and not super confident with their powers, like he was all those years ago and not have him help! (I like this even better if I think about my HC that Luke taught Percy to control his powers, as Percy canonically points out that Luke is the only person who will train with him after he’s claimed)

I also think you make a really good point about Percy and Michael. Especially because Percy is so prone to guilt, and already has a lot of survivors guilt. It would be an interesting dynamic both ways, if Michael survived and if he died just like he did in canon. If I can think of a good concept for a Fic I’m going to look at writing one for them.

I’ve always been a fan of rare ships too, so I’m pretty used to struggling to find fanfics written about them (Harry Potter/Theo Nott, Percy Jackson/Leo Valdez, Percy Jackson/Ethan Nakamura, etc.)

I feel like I have read a few fics that are Percy/Will, and I like it because it almost feels like it’ll never last. Both feel guilty, and both struggled to survive through the war. I also HC that Will does resent Percy for Lee Fletchers death, and maybe even Michael, because he was there on the bridge and saw it happen. Even if he doesn’t necessarily resent Percy for it, I think it still creates an interesting dynamic. If I can find the fics I liked for them, I’ll leave them in the comments.

Honorable mention to Percy/Pollux and Percy/Castor, because the inherent sadness and depth of guilt that would play into either relationship is amazing. There are criminally little fics with this pairing, so if anyone has any good recs pls send them my way. I’m hoping to get something in the works about one of these ships, but no promises.

Also we do need to mention the Percy/Rachel and Percy/Nico of it all. I wholeheartedly believe that both of these ship options are so much better than what we get in canon. I think Percy with Rachel would be so much healthier than what he had with Annabeth in canon, and that maybe even having someone removed would help him to cope with everything that happened. Allow him to grieve and mourn and be angry. I also think Nico is still a very good choice, paticularly because I don’t like his canon pairing with Will. Especially the limiting use of his powers. In contrast I think Percy would help Nico, would teach him how to use his powers in a way that makes them stronger and doesn’t drain him, because Nico taught himself and never had someone who could teach him how to train his powers up to be stronger and longer lasting. I think Nico also used quite strong powers immediately, in the sense that it’s like if Percy was running around causing earthquakes every where, it drains him and never learnt how to properly manage that. Percy used to get drained with his powers, but he built them up into what they are now, something that didn’t happen with Nico. I have a lot of love for Pernico, because it’s so angsty but has the poetenial to be so good, and again it goes back to guilt.

I think I’ve just realised that a running theme in Percy and his pairing is his guilt. His guilt factors into every relationship in his life, and shapes it. His guilt impacts his relationship with Annabeth, and arguably has a hand in what makes it toxic. Percy is synonymous with his guilt, and I think no matter what pairing you put him with, the guilt has to be acknowledged in some shape or form.

Woahhhhh ok didn’t realise I had so many thoughts about this, please don’t mind my ramblings. If any ohe has any good fic recs or wants some Fic recs, pls let me know :)

[igotanidea]

Empty promises: Nikolai Lantsov x reader

A/N: first of all, sorry to everyone wainting for "Traitor", but I felt the need to write something sad and heart wrenching so here;s that. For now. Angst coming right next. Oh, and you have been warned, this is sad. And got spoilers for ep.4/5.

***

„Alina? Are you decent?” Y/n peeked through the door the very second the queen’s seamstress left the room.

“Y/n! Please, come in. It’s so good to see your face.” Alina struggled in the dress “I wish I could greet you properly but I can’t, quite, move in this.”

“Oh, yes, I’ve heard some rumors about certain Saint and the outfit trouble.” Y/N laughed wholeheartedly ”I don’t think it’s really your style, no matter what the queen mother may have to say about that. I may have an idea to save you from that torture though. If, you let me, that is.”

“Please. Anything.” Alina shook her head

“All right then. You know, a tailor would probably be better with the fitting, but as an Inferni I can surely give you something to boost your confidence” Y/N started turning around, picking another outfit for sol koroleva.

“Y/N.” Alina said and the timbre of her voice made the other Grisha stop in her track and look up “How… How are holding up? With me and Nikolai….?”

“I’m fine” Y/N assured quickly. Too quickly to make it believable. “I just ….” She sighed deeply, gathering all the strength she had to finish that sentence “I just wish he told me sooner, you know. Not just leave me like that. Given all we have… had….” she corrected and covered a little tremble by coughing “But he just left me as surprised as any other Grisha in the room when he announced your engagement and  it feels like betrayal, Alina. “ she went silent for a minute “but yes, apart from that I am perfectly fine. Now, let’s focus on the suit.”

“Y/N” Alina grabbed her hand gently “I am sorry for what you are going through right now.”

“Well, we all have our burdens to carry, right? I suppose this is mine.”

“I know it does not make anything better, but I know about heartbreak and making tough choices. Nikolai loves you in a way he would never feel about me. And I feel that for Mal. This is all just a political alliance, nothing more.” Alina assured.

“You know, sancta, when Nikolai left to be Sturmhond I spend two years searching for him, east to west and south to north. And when I did and we got together this was the best time of my life. And I shouldn’t have enjoyed the sea so much, but with him, I did.  And even then I always had this little tingling inside my head. A sneaky voice that was telling me, that we would not last. Turns out I was right. And truly, no one is to blame for that.” The Inferni smiled sadly “This should do the work” she raised the garments she prepared for Alina “I should better go before the seamstress came back. Just for now pretend you’ll wear the dress , all right? Can’t show all the cards at once.” And with such words, she left the chamber, unnoticed by anyone.

The next person to come to Alina was not even remotely as welcomed as Y/N. Vasily came for a little chat coated with veiled threat and perhaps a bit of a warning, but Alina was too strong to let him beguile her.

And then, when time came Nikolai appeared at the door for a little pep talk.

“Well, you look lovely” he smiled eyeing Alina already up and ready in her second army regimentals.

“Y/N came and helped me put this little thing together. So much better than….” Her gaze focused on the dress nearby and the girl rolled her eyes.

“She’s been avoiding me.” The prince said sadly “not that I blame her, but how can she not miss my company even a little? Am I so easily forgettable. She really acts like I’ve grown a pair of horns or started breathing fire…..” he tried to keep his cool and joke around but Alina knew him well enough to see through it.

“She’s an Inferni. A little fire could never discourage her.  But she’s hurt. Twice as much since you kept her in the dark about this whole arrangement.”

“I wanted to save her pain. And possibly myself.”

“’You failed at that.” Alina pouted

“Anyway, I got something to complete the look.” He took a step closer and reached inside his pocket retrieving a green gem “the Lantsov emerald….”

“Nikolai, we don’t have to do this, if it’s too hard. “

“Let’s just keep the pretenses up, shall we? Just remember, shall you decide to punch me, you will probably take my eyes out with this on, and I would not like that.”

***

 “Have you seen Mal?” Alina started spinning around, searching for the one face she so desperately needed to see “It’s not like him to be late.”

“Perhaps your little tracker is not such a fan of festivities as you.” Vasily approached the pair from behind, with some drink in his hand and Alina immediately excused herself, leaving two brothers alone.

“You know, my little brother” Vasily started “I always knew you would not end up with that little Inferni. Why settle for a commoner when there’s a living saint in the palace.” He laughed and took a sip on his drink. “now you will get fire from someone else! I’m sure the Sankta had a lot of it, judging by her actions. And Y/N. Waste of time. She was always a challenge, even when she was a kid.”

“Don’t you dare talking about her like this.” Nikolai hissed, but still kept straight face in a prince-like manner

“Why do you even care at this point, brother? From what I know, she’s been avoiding you, am I right? But look” he pointed out in the crowd, where Y/N was talking to Nadia and Tamar, laughing for the first time in a while “she’s right there. Don’t you wanna talk to her. If has any dignity, which I doubt, she would not cause a scene in public.”

Even though Nikolai knew his brother was only goading him, his brain shut off when legs carried him towards the other side of the ballroom, straight to her.

“Y/N.” he spoke and all three girls turned around, each one of them showing different expression. Tamar was curious of what was going to happen, Nadia a bit stressed out about her friend, and Y/N…. Y/N was just in pain and nothing could have hid it.

“Moi tsarevich”  she bowed, avoiding his eyes

“Please, stop it. Can we… can we talk for a minute? Please.”

“We are  not going to interrupt you….”Nadia started, but Tamar was on the other side of the barricade in the matter.

“I will. I’m not leaving her with you in this state, Nikolai. You know, you are both my friends, but she’s the victim not the other way round. “

“Tamar” Y/N put a hand on her shoulder “it’s all right. It will be just a minute to clarify this little misunderstanding . I’ll be with you before you notice I was gone.”

“I still don’t like it…” Tamar muttered, but let Nadia drag her away to have a little chat with Adrik and watch Alina. When they both left Y/N took a deep breath and before Nikolai was able to say a thing she took the lead of the conversation.

“Nikolai. I don’t really think it’s appropriate to leave your fiancé alone. Especially with Vasiliy acting like a predator tonight.”

“Vasiliy is drunk.”

“He’s been drunk since the age of 18. Remember that time when we played a prank on him and had to run through the palace in the middle of the night?” she smiled

“And when we ended up squeezed in the cupboard to avoid his wrath? Yes, I remember that.” Now they were both laughing outloud “I also remember what happened later on….”

“Nik. Stop it” she warned, her cheeks getting a bit flushed. Of course he had to refer to the moment they shared their first kiss “this is not the time or the place.”

“My feelings for you did not change.”

‘And do you think mine did? But you are engaged now. And I get it, Nik, I really do. You did what you though was right, as always and I can’t blame me for that. We are all pawns in this crazy political game and the point is to minimalize the  damage. If that means you getting with Alina then I cannot interfere. I still be there for you both. Even if it is in the sideline.

“Y/N…. I….”

“It’s all right” she raised her hands almost embracing him, but stopped herself in the last minute. “You should probably go join your family, your mother has been eyeing us for a while now and she knows we have past. Can’t risk anyone getting suspicious, right? Moi tsarevich” she bowed and went back to join Tamar, Adrik and Nadia, who pulled her into a hug.

From then on, everything started happening extremely fast. Vasiliy came onto the podium to gave some mockery speech about his brother, the man of the hour, but in the middle of it, Darkling’s shadow monster decided to drop by and well, cause a little havoc, killing the speaker and some other gathered people. It was chaos. Alina, Tamar, Adrik, Nadia and Y/N were trapped on the one side of the room, while the Lantsov (or rather whatever was left of this family) where stuck on the other.

“They have no heart, no pulse, no nothing!” Tamar exclaimed trying to use her heartrender powers

“Every creature has a weakness” Adrik spit, observing the monsters carefully from behind the table they used as some sort of shield, Y/N following in his steps.

“Those are shadows” the girl said “Look, Adrik, you were right, they have to be in their full form to touch and hurt someone!”

Before another shadow could attack Nikolai and his mother, Adrik came from one side throwing a gust of wind his way, Nadia doing the same on the other. Y/N used this as an opportunity to grab a spark from the nearby candle and throw a fireball straight into the middle of it. For a second, when the monster was tearing apart her gaze met with Nikolai’s who was just frozen like a deer in the spotlight.

“GO!” she yelled at him “Take whoever you can and GO!”

“Everyone into the tunnels!” Nikolai ordered, but before he himself rushed off, he just threw one last glance at his one true love and moved his mouth silently.

“Come back to me.”

***

“You three go find Alina, I’ll go check if there’s anyone lost in the corridors to get them to safety” Y/N commanded her friends ready to run the other way

“Have you lost your mind!?” Tamar spit at her “You are not going anywhere alone.”

“I’ll be fine Tamar.”

“Yeah, I’ve heard that from you hundreds times before.”

“And I am still alive. A little bruised and scared but alive. Not planning on dying today, I swear. Alina needs you three and there’s no time, so I’ll just see you downstairs. GO!”

***

 She was running one of the palace corridors, stating with the greatest relief that all the Grisha that were not killed were off the palace and probably on the way to the tunnel. She almost reached the entrance, but mere meters before, another shadow monster blocked her way.

“Oh, Saint!” she hissed annoyed and focused her energy to gather just a little bit of flame since sadly, there wasn’t any external source of it anywhere near. It was always harder to get fire from nothing, but it used to work for her. Most of the times.

Not this one.

The fire that came out of her hands were so weak it barely reached the shadows let alone cause them any harm.

“Oh, shit…” she mumbled when darkness enveloped her whole and tried once again, this time fueled by fury and worry about her friends. Maybe Tamar was right and she shouldn’t have left them. Nonetheless that was not the time to dwell on the past mistakes, since it was extremely hard to breath inside that fog the monster were created from. It was like all of a sudden she found herself in the fold again, broken and scared. “Hell no! I am not dying today” she put her hands up causing a flare and dissipated the shadows finally getting herself free.

If only it wasn’t for that cut with sharp, thorn-like edges on her  leg, which she did not notice or feel.

***

“Is everyone safe?” Nikolai came from one entrance to the tunnels, meeting with Alina and Tamar coming from the opposite.

“Adrik got hurt in the arm, Nadia is with him.” Alina explained “the healers are taking care of the injured. What about the ones you came with?”

“Saved as many as possible” Nikolai turned around “where is …..?”

“That idiotic girl left us and came for the rescue. I told her she should not….” Tamar’s voice broke a little

“Where is she, Tamar?!”

“We… We don’t know…..”

“I’m here!” all the emotions he felt upon hearing her voice where just too much to handle and not caring about anyone  or anything or whether he was acting like an engaged prince he took off running towards her, wrapping arms around her and pulling her close to his chest.

“You’re safe, love. You’re safe.” He whispered again and again caressing her back, tangling fingers In her soft, messy hair and just getting lost in her.

“Nik…” she gasped taking a sharp inhale “I… I don’t really feel so good….” She stumbled a bit and this made him worry.

“I know, darling, but you were so brave up there. You saved my life with that little trick of yours. And you always said you couldn’t do fireballs. Guess me being in danger enhanced your…..”

“Nik, I really do not feel good” she mumbled and all her strength suddenly left her when her legs gave up and she collapsed into his arms, the embrace being the only thing shielding her from falling straight to the ground.

“Y/n? Come on, tell me, what is it, where does it hurt?” he started panicking just in the slightest.

“My leg….”

“May I?” he hesitated before lifting the material of her pants.

“Saints! Stop being a gentleman now! ” Tamar hissed and started tearing the pant-leg “I wish you were this polite at all those night on the ship instead of giving the crew sleepless nights “Oh….”

“How… how bad is it?” Y/N asked, raising her head from where It laid on Nikolai’s chest and he quickly turned her head away.

“It’s gonna be fine” he assured, grabbing her righter and kissing her temple “I’ll get you to a healer, all right?”

“Mhmmm……” she mumbled, slowly losing consciousness.

“I’m gonna lift you now, ok?” one of his hands sneaked around her back, the other went below her legs when he moved her from the ground “you’re gonna be ok, just don’t close your eyes, love.”

Out of instinct Alina wanted to join them on their walk to healers, but Tamar stopped her.

“Don’t” she shook her head, eyes a bit glassy.

“No.” Alina just stated. “Please tell me it’s not….” bus since Tamar was a heartrender there was really no point in arguing.

***

“Nik…. You smell so good.” Y/N hid face in his chest, locking arms around his neck

“I am all sweaty from the fight and running, honey. As much as I love what you are saying I do not smell good.”

“You smell like the ocean.” She smiled lightly “Like the sunny day on volkvolny”

“We’re going to have a thousand more of such days so you could dwell on the smell.”

 “I…. I don’t really think so, Niki.” She hissed in pain when he reached one of the makeshift flop and called upon the healer

“Always a joker, aren’t you?”

“I wish” she started coughing, a little blood appearing on the hand she tried to cover her mouth with. “Tell me the truth, Nik. How bad is it. Cause it hurts like hell.”

“I don’t want to look. I;m not a healer, I don’t have any experience…..”

“You…” she gasped “are a trained soldier. You know about wounds. Tell me.”

“It’s not good” he closed his eyes almost like those words caused him unimaginable pain and grabbed her hands. “but the healers…..”

“The healers have too much work on their hands. And judging by your voice….” She coughed  a bit more

“Sh, don’t say anything more. Let me just… Grigori!” he called upon one of the corporalki “she needs help.”

“Immediately, moi tsar” Grisha answered and it was probably the first time Nikolai realized that he was the king now.

“Moi tsar” Y/N smiled faintly “it suits you so well, lapushka. Auch! It hurts….”

“I’m sorry Y/N, this wound is unusually deep and it seems like there’s some kind of venom in your veins, going straight to the heart and…..” Grigori started slurring

“There’s nothing you can do, right?” she asked simply

“I’m so deeply sorry, Y/N, moi tsar.”

“Not your fault.”

“Leave us.” Nikolai hissed through gritted teeth and Grigori practically run away trying to avoid king’s fury “Y/N….” he leaned toward her, cupping her pale cheek and caressing it gently “I don’t want you to go….”

“Selfish. As usual. You don’t want me to go, mhm. Do you think I…. auch, want to die like this?”

“I need you with me….” He kissed the top of her head

“Selfish. Again. You got the sun summoner now."

"You are my sun."

"Stop flirting with me on .... on my .... death.... deathbed" she squirmed trying to lift herself up but it was too painful “Help… me….” She panted and Nikolai grabbed her waist with one hand and supported her back with another “I don’t have much time left… I feel it almost in my heart….”

“I don’t want to go on without you.” he whispered

“I know.” tears started showing in her eyes and he wiped them away breathing heavily “I’m scared Nik” she admitted trembling “I feel so cold. Can you just hold me? I don’t….” she gulped “I don’t want to go alone….”

“I’m here with you. No matter where you go, afterlife, I will find you, I swear.”

“Not if…ekhem! Oh, saints, it hurts so much” she cried and his heart broke at that sobbing coming from her. The sounds he would never recover from. Reminded that he failed to protect the only person he ever truly loved. And to think she was dying in his arms, while he was about to marry another woman. This was like a punch in the guts “not if I hunt you first.”

“I love you” he just had to say it. Maybe it was selfish again, but he needed to know that were the last words he said to her “I love you and I will always love you.” he kissed her knuckles, looking straight into her eyes. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Nik. And I’m sure you will….” Her voice was becoming so small, so quiet, almost audible in all commotion “… have a long, happy and fulfilled life. You’ll be great king. And a father…. I….” she closed her eyes “I’ll see you later, Nik…..” and just like that there was silence.

And this was the exact moment Tamar clenched her fist and faced the wall, her back to other Grishas so no one would see single tear falling from her eye.  

She said she’ll be fine…….  Empty promises always hurt the receiving end  of those.

***

“Nikolai? We need someone to get everyone together and ….” Zoya was blissfully unaware of the tragedy that just fell upon the king and was her usual self when she entered the part of tunnels were healers were stationed “what… what happened?”  she stuttered at the view in front of her eyes.

Nikolai was not a king at the moment. He was just a broken man who just lost the love of his life. Not crying, just sitting next to her still figure, holding and caressing her cold hand, unable to stop. Almost like he was in a trance. For what he cared the world could stop spinning and it would not make any difference for him. But for her…. He was going to do anything to avenge her death. But he would do that in a second, for now, he just wanted and needed to stay with her a bit more, even if that meant just watching her face, surprisingly peaceful and running a hand through her hair.

If only he could indulge in that greedy need.

“Goodbye, my love….” He whispered planting one final kiss on her forehead and tugging at his hair stood up to protect and guide his people, his subjects.

[elephant-in-the-pride-parade]

Prodigy Recap

I love it I love it I love it I could watch it forever

I'm truly irrevokably in love. I'm done for. I'm probably going to rewatch this all month before I am satisfied I've fully taken it all in. I NEED to rewatch Mindwalk and Supernova again ASAP because knowing what I know now about the memories HJ had just recovered. I know it is going to wreck me to watch her in those episodes with S2 in mind.

My ship HELD HANDS GUYSSS. HE TOLD HER SHES HIS HOME. HE DIDNT FEEL LIKE HE BELONGED ANYWHERE UNTIL THEY MET. SHE BROKE TIME FOR HIM AGAIN AND AGAIN. HER EYES GOT SO BIG! THAT HUG LOOKED SO GOOD. (I'm getting off topic a lot but i need to get the "my ship is canon - in a way i don't hate!!!" fangirling out of my system.) breathe. breathe. okay gonna keep going.

Its gonna take me a few more watch throughs to fully wrap my head around the paradox. And around how you fit a humpback whale in the original ISS Voyager (seriously. has that been there the whole time? does OG Voyager have a whale? was she retrofitted in the AQ? did Mirror J steal a whale from 1996?) And if that timeline where KJ was lost on the infinity means shes also trapped on future solum with Chakotay or just dead. and and and... so many things. so many fic ideas. so many plot bunnies

(wait no -- shoves the plot bunnies away -- go away. not ready for more wips yet)

There. was. so. much. that I loved. it was such an ambitious story to tell in 2 seasons and oh my god, i really feel they mostly pulled it off. They brought back Voyagers legacy characters and put them to work in a plot that fit them, and it was such a joy to see them again. They stay true to who they were on Voyager - thoroughly wonderfully 100x better than on Voyager in Chakotays case. and i really believe theyre the same characters with a few more years of life since ive last met them.

And the new characters too. I love Dal and Gwyn and Rok and Murf and Zero and Jankom and Maj'el to pieces. (Majel!!! is such a perfect tribute!) I want to see so much more of Noum and Tysses. I am in tears over Adreek. God how much i want Season 3 just to see how their stories continue.

But I think... what strikes me most and what I appreciated the most was how much this show wholeheartedly respects its fans!!!

It never dumbs things down or babies it's younger audience. its very mature for a kids show. it is a great introduction to star trek and the universe without over explaining. there are storylines in these 40 episodes that would be right at home in TNG or Voyager. it's really more of a fun for the whole family show than a kids show in that way. (it says something that it's the first "cartoon" my parents have ever cared for and they are watching it wholely for themselves.) It really manages to tell the story in a framing thats aimed at kids without taking anything away from the story its telling for all ages.

And it's adult audience...

I worried about how it would feel to have enjoyed such a rich fanon universe in the 3 decades since the show ended. There were advantages to having a ship with very little canon. the fan universe thrived on how much room there was to work within. After that - having headcanoned and written and imagined so many futures for the characters - I feared having some new canon come in and make a new story for them that would invalidate so much if that imagination, or create something so unsatisfying or rigid or antithical to their last canon encounter that nothing new would be inspired by it. (P/C in Picard was like that for me)

Prodigy didnt do that. Prodigy made no grand sweeping canon for the years in between Voyagers homecoming and the new show. Prodigy didnt shoe horn any character into a rigid relationship status. Prodigy picked them up, set them on a new adventure, sprinkled in tantalyzing new details, and left a wealth of room around the events of the season and the relationships between the characters for so much fan imagination to thrive. The possibilities before and during and after the seasons for the characters are bountiful and perfect for imagining their other adventures. I couldnt have imagined my ship becoming canon (or maybe affirmed by the canon is a clearer way to put it) in a better way.

And then they went and added Tank Top Action Janeway in there as a treat.

Truly a masterpiece. i'm so grateful for this show. i hope it gets the 3rd season it so dearly deserves.

[tom-hossain-minis]

Holy shit politics tumblr what the fuck. Are there no communists on this site? Or people with memory greater than that of dory from finding nemo ? Does nobody recall every promise Biden not only broke but actively did the opposite of what he said he was gonna do? And I also have to ask, and I’m sorry to do so, but I think it’s important, are you all white? Cause I seen yall saying “your pic friends will suffer” and the way it’s phrased makes me think perhaps yall are not yourselves poc, for the most part. Furthermore, all *my* poc friends are well fucking aware that Joe “I’m against desegregation” Biden is a fucking racist POS, as is his entire administration. Let’s not even get into increased climate destruction, his support for trans people being barred from sports, his general apathy towards lgbt people, his really fucking vile southern border behaviour and policy, his explicit fucking islamaphobia, anti black racism, and anti-Asian racism, his supreme belief in police barbarism, his total economic shitshow these last four years, and finally, something I suspect non Americans literally are unable to fathom, his vitriolic hatred of the rest of the world, and the danger he poses to humanity’s continued survival as a result. It’s true, your political system sucks fucking balls, I pity you for having only one party and not being able to remove your head of state, but don’t you dare tell me that you think Joe Biden is a “good president in most regards except Palestine”. And guess what, “trump is worse” is something I wholeheartedly agree with. But for some reason you Americans have no concept of “saying no”. You don’t have a permanent minimum standard. I can’t understand it, is there some weird part of American culture that says you can’t have a sense of personal dignity, or, dare I say it, a spine? It’s inconciliables to me that every person in the most well off, powerful, heavily defended nation on earth would not only allow themselves to be, in the most shakespearien sense, raped by their political system every four years, but that *some* would revel in it. I genuinely mean it when I say I cannot understand this behaviour. Aren’t you outraged at this treatment? Where is your fury against such degradation? Wouldn’t you fight and work and claw at everything against you until your bones were raw and white and broken rather than settle for this most violating and humiliating of lifestyles, in the hope of something better? Don’t get me wrong, I come from the cesspool that is Britain, and that’s its own thing, but I know why and how the British spirit was so thoroughly crushed so I know why people have given up there, and even then, we not only still have some resemblance of fight, but also a system that at least in theory can allow for some better representation than the American one. Britain has a proud history of rioting when things get too bad, we stole the idea from the French, just like everything in our history and culture, but America never seemed to have the same; is it just too vast a country? I just, really need someone to explain it. When and how were the American people politically lobotomised? And I’m sorry if this is rude or confusing but I really am at a loss. As a scientist I really am dedicated to and obsessed with making the world a better place for everyone, but America, the biggest problem by a landslide so massive it could be its own planet, completely and totally baffles me.

Tl;dr: fuck Joe Biden, I have a sneaking suspicion tumblr is mostly racist white people, America’s very existence can drive a man insane like the visage of Cthulhu

[bibibbon]

Ok a question center about Izu, in a way. Hm, ok let me gather my thought:

Mirio is either stupid or naive? I ask this bc well nighteye was a miserable bitch against Izu for no reason but petty. Is Mirio aware Nighteye is a creep or ...nighteye fake around mirio?

Now to Izu...I think I'm the only one who can see this but...Izu getting the quirk, ofa, is now a mean spirit joke. "Huh?what you mean?"

Mirio is the perfect candidate for ofa. He has a good grasp on his quirk, he knows how to act and is a mini am. He could fill the gap right away and AM was in a hurray.

Why pick Izu?

"he saved PoS" which ok...but is that enough to grant him a special quirk? No discussing or get to know Izu? Am doesn't know this kid...for all he knows Izu could have used ofa for evil.

To me, the way I see it. Izu got the quirk bc am is stubborn and nighteye was a mega creep.

Like Mirio was a perfect option for ofa. Why Izu? Not asking this to shit on him (I'm not Hori) but while Izu does work to make this quirk his...AM was putting pressure...he needs Izu to be the symbol of peace in a second.

Mirio already was a symbol or coming closer. Why not him?

What makes Izu special of ofa? It's bc am picked him and it's a good reason if we saw why am picked him. Am picked him way too quick.

One good and frankly suicidal mission was enough to make him his heir. Why? We will never know.

Again, not shitting on Izu. I wanted to see a reason as why Izu is worthy of ofa. But we don't. The relationship of am and Izu is ...no. Existent. Really make me think he picked Izu too quick and if nighteye wasn't himself...the ofa would go to Mirio.

Hi @mikeellee 👋 sorry for not answering this sooner!

Hmm interesting I would say mirio is naive with a dash of biases. Let me explain, what I mean is that Mirio believes that nighteye wouldn't do such a thing especially if it's towards someone he thinks is a friend. Mirio and nighteyes relationship is what I like to describe what nighteye wanted his relationship to be with all might in a way.

I don't think that Mirio is aware of nighteye's creepy behaviour as canon never alludes or implies it at all and Mirio someone who has a strong sense of righteousness and would probably be very irked if he found out about nighteye.

My theory is that due to all mights and nighteye's strained relationship all might didn't trust nighteye's input or decision so he may of left Mirio getting OFA as a last resort type of thing. However, you are right Mirio is basically perfect for the role especially if they wanted another mini all might in a hugely short span of time but I think the message was supposed to be that with society changing that another all might may actually harm society a lot more than do good for it. Now I think that if horikoshi actually allowed Izuku's character to go through proper development that izuku would be perfect in delivering that message however this idea doesn't hold much weight after Izuku's fight with shigaraki that parallels all mights kamino fight.

Also maybe Izuku reminded all might of himself so that's why he picked him. In reality how would all might really know that though??!?! All might and izuku bonding time is basically non existent in the manga or anime their relationship is also non existent. All might doesn't know much about izuku and neither does izuku. All might is a bad mentor and it's never brought up or used as a point to develop him and his relationship with Izuku.

Iam not sure what's so special about izuku for all might to pick him or why all might never picked Mirio. I remember a few years ago I saw a video talking about how in the overhaul arc we never actually got proof as to why izuku is the better candidate for OFA and i have to actually agree. Izuku never ended up differentiating himself from Mirio and frankly we don't even have any logical reasoning from all might as to why it was izuku himself. Or it's how he broke the bystander effect and wanted to help bakugo even though he couldn't do anything that maybe inspired him to help this kids dream of becoming a hero become a reality but oh well I guess we will never know the true answer.

[renthony]

🏳️‍🌈

(Drop a 🏳️‍🌈 in my inbox and I’ll respond with a queer media recommendation!)

Everybody who follows me already knows that The Dragon Prince is my favorite TV show in the whole world. Created for Netflix by Aaron Ehasz (an alumnus of Avatar: the Last Airbender) and Justin Richmond, it's an epic fantasy series that kicks off with a trio of plucky protagonists who are determined to return an egg kidnapped from the dragon queen by a dark mage, because the kidnapping of the dragon prince (hey! the title!) puts the entire world at risk of war.

One of the fundamental themes is exploring the cycle of violence and abuse, and how that cycle can only be broken when people commit to it wholeheartedly. It also shows that, even when someone wants to break the cycle, there are others who are invested in continuing it, and peace takes incredible and painful work.

The worldbuilding is phenomenal, the character and creature design is incredible, the story is gripping, and the writing is...*chef's kiss.* Every season is better than the last, and the increase in animation quality across the years is unreal. Season six was utterly ethereal.

Phase one of the series spanned seasons one to three, and we are currently in the final stretch of arc two ("Mystery of Aaravos"), encompassing seasons four to seven. Season six just dropped, and according to the official Instagram account, it's been #1 on Netflix for the past five days! That's really great news, because they're trying really hard to get greenlit for arc three--so now is a really, really great time to get into the show! You want to do it, you want to do it so bad. Use the hashtags #TheDragonPrince, #ContinueTheSaga, and #GiveUsTheSaga if you do! Please, for the love of fuck! 😭😭😭

Currently there are six seasons of the tv show, several books (including novelizations, original comics, and art book, and in-universe guides), a tabletop roleplaying game, a board game, and a brand-new video game that launched this week. This world is huge, and it's so fun to explore!

Here's the trailer for season one of the show:

Here's a trailer for the most recent season, for those who saw the early seasons but didn't keep up:

And here's the trailer for the mobile game:

As far as why I'm recommending it as a queer show, there are so many queer characters. The show prompted some griping early on because it had a pair of tragically dead lesbian queens, but in the seasons since, they've introduced a gloriously alive lesbian battle couple who get married on-screen, a married pair of gay men, three different trans characters (one of whom joins the main cast in season 4 and remains a major character), and a general lovely air of casual queerness in a high fantasy setting. The tabletop roleplaying game has multiple canon queer characters, too, and the show's cast and crew have made it clear that they have queer people among them, they fully support queer people in the fandom, and they want to include queerness in their world. It's awesome.

(And I'm still sticking with "when one man looks at another man and says 'our baby was so cute,' that's canon enough for me." So there's some fantastic queer villainy that's, like, the perfect icing on the cake for me personally. The Dragon Prince: for all your unholy dark magic mpreg bug baby needs!)

Also, this show has my poorest, saddest, littlest, wettest meow-meow babygirl of all fucking time: Lord Viren, (former) High Mage of Katolis, the most turbo-divorced man in all existence. If you follow me, you've seen that motherfucker. You know who he is. You have seen his sad miserable little face. You know who I am and what I'm here for. This paragraph is not a surprise to you. You know.

Here's a picture of me in Viren cosplay, as both a shameless cosplay self-promo and a reiteration that, no, seriously, this is my favorite TV show ever:

Ask For a Rec | Other Media Recommendations | Support Links

[teewritessmth]

~~Meeting your dad for the first time~~

Kenny x f! reader

Summary : You want Kenny to meet your dad, but do they get along?

Warnings : slight use of a gun metaphor, no mother figure

You lived with your dad, your mum having parted ways with the both of you many many years ago. You two barely missed her, so she isn't really worth mentioning now, is she?

Your dad knew you were seeing somebody and was over the moon to find out that his little girl was finally settling. Even though a part of him hurt realizing how quickly you grew up in front of his eyes.

But he is your father after all, seeing your beaming smile everyday was more than enough to realize you were with a good man.

So naturally he wanted to meet your boyfriend of over 4 years, Kenny.

.

.

.

"He wanted to meet me? " Kenny furrows his eyebrows looking at you in confusion.

"Well mostly I suggested that you two get to know each other, since I already met your family". You smile at him.

"I mean I'm not opposed to the idea but will he like me? Dad's are usually ferocious when their daughter starts dating someone".

"No way, my dad is not like that". You huff, determined to make a good impression of your father. "Let's just meet up at one of dad's restaurants so we can have a good chat with each other. I'm a hundred percent sure he's gonna love you".

"And I'm a hundred percent sure he's gonna shoot me right through the skull". Kenny sighs. "But I'm willing to do that for our future".

His words almost make you tear up, so to hide that you reach over and kiss him gently.

"I love you Ken".

"I love you my darling".

.

.

.

You dad sat opposite to Kenny, he could say that the younger guy was nervous, but held immense amount of love for his daughter.

"Nice to meet you Mr. Y/l/n". Kenny smiled.

"Lovely to meet you too, my son". Your dad returned the smile and patted Kenny on the back. He could feel Kenny visibly relaxing and slowly engaging in to conversation with him.

You on the other hand were overjoyed to see the two most important men in your life get along. You felt so proud of Kenny and so much love for your dad who had accepted Kenny wholeheartedly. It could've easily been one of the happiest days of your life.

"Excuse me for a bit guys, I need to use the restroom". You excuse yourself from your dad and Kenny and head to the stalls to freshen up your makeup.

Kenny seizes this chance to talk to your dad one to one.

"I have something to tell you". Kenny looks at the man in front of him with hopeful eyes, hoping that he would react in a positive way.

"Oh, well what is it?". Your dad rests his arms on the table, realizing that this might be a private conversation.

"Sir, I have known Y/n ever since she was 12 years old. She is an amazing human being and has been there for me during our friendship days and when we were in love. I can hardly imagine my life without her in it. She makes everything better, and I hope you would give me your blessings to marry her and make her my wife". Kenny let's out a breath and anticipates for an answer.

Your dad remains silent, eyes glued to the table.

Kenny could hear his heart jump to his stomach, suddenly he felt like throwing up.

"I-I am so sorry, I shouldn't have asked that from you so early"-

Kenny cut himself off when your dad flashed him a happy smile.

"How could I ever say no to that question, You're a good man I'm sure, my Y/n saw the best in you and she loves you. Who am I to stop two people that love each other get married. You have my blessings, Always and forever".

Kenny laughs and your dad claps his back, the two men hug each other as they realize they would soon be related.

You come from the restroom to find the mood of the room a lot better than you last saw it.

"You two must have cleared some stuff out, look at you two beaming with joy!!".

Kenny and your dad wink at each other, relishing in your confused expression and laughing the night away reminiscing about the past. You sat there confused still, but so happy to know that Your man had finally befriended your 'beast' of a dad.

[nightghoul381]

Dead or Love ~ Ellis Twilight

This a fan translation so it is definitely not 100% accurate. I do not own anything related to Ikemen Villains. Support Cybird by buying their amazing stories!

Part 1 | Part 2 | Bitter End | Premium End | Epilogue

Kate, I want to be your Santa Claus.

The kind of person who only gives you kindness.

However, the more time I talked to Kate,

The desires that I buried deep inside my heart and kept a lid on were writhing.

(Kate.)

(You, only you, make me… just a little crazy.)

Ellis: “… I don’t want Christmas to end just yet.”

Kate: “Eh?”

I pulled Kate’s arm closer and looked into her face.

Ellis: “Kate, will you be my Santa Claus this time?”

Ellis: “You can listen to my selfishness.”

(If I say that suddenly, will that bother you?)

However, contrary to my expectations, Kate’s face suddenly brightened up.

Kate: “Yes, of course! I’ll do anything I can.”

(……)

Ellis: “Fufu, you’re really…really cute.”

Ellis: “…Then, will you kiss me?”

Kate: “Ah, K-kiss?”

(Her eyes are blinking… so cute.)

Because Kate reacts so kindly and cutely,

I bury my desires deeper and deeper, keeping it a secret from Kate.

(Let’s think about the selfishness that will make Kate happy.)

(…That’s it.)

Ellis: “I’ll save the kiss for later.”

Ellis: “Instead… I want you and me to have fun together.”

--Courtyard—

Kate: “Ellis, what you want to do is… play in the snow?”

Ellis: “Yeah. This is the first year it’s snowed.”

Ellis: “…Do you hate it?”

Kate: “Fufu, no way. I’m kind of excited.”

Kate: “What do we do? Snowball fight? OR—”

Ellis: “What about the snow rabbit?”

Kate: “Oh, that’s great! Well then, let’s see whose is the cutest.”

Ellis: “Then I’ll make a snow rabbit that looks like you.”

Kate: “If that’s what you want, I’ll make you the cutest little Ellis bunny.”

Ellis: “But… if you use me as a model, won’t you lose?”

Kate: “I won’t lose. I’m confident.”

I can’t help but laugh at Kate’s disappointed face.

Ellis: “Then, let the match begin.”

The two of us squat down, scoop up snow, and work wholeheartedly to make a snow bunny.

(…When is the last time you played like this?)

When I glanced at Kate, I noticed that she looked more serious than I did, which was kind of cute.

Maybe I like seeing Kate working hard at something.

(I thought of a grown-up date to make Kate happy.)

(But… maybe a date like this would have been better.)

With Kate, no matter where I am or what I do, I feel like I have a lot of fun.

Ellis: “…Yeah. I’m done.”

Kate: “Me too. So let’s show each other.”

Ellis: “Yeah, okay.”

Kate / Ellis: “Ready, set, go!”

Kate: “Wow, Ellis, your snow bunny is so cute!”

Ellis: “Yours is too. I guess this is a draw…?”

Kate: “Fufu, right.”

(I finished making the snow bunny… Maybe I should have made it a little more slowly.)

Kate: “Ah, Ellis. Are you free for just a little longer?”

Ellis: “…? Yeah, of course. What’s wrong?”

Kate: “I feel like this isn’t enough, so I would like to add something else.”

It seems like Kate is still trying to give me something.

(Kate, Santa Claus is a great service.)

--Crown Castle—Common room—

Kate: “Sorry to keep you waiting, Ellis. Here it is.”

Ellis: “…Hot milk?”

Kate: “Yes. Your hands got cold from playing in the snow, right?”

Kate: “Besides, I was happy that you made some for me earlier, Ellis.”

(You remembered me.)

Ellis: “Thank you, Kate. I’ll take it.”

Kate: “Also, when I went to the kitchen, Victor brought out some sweets for me.”

Ellis: “So many. Fufu, it’s like a party.”

Kate: “Yes, it’s our very own midnight Christmas party.”

We drank hot milk, snacked on sweets, and talked about nothing.

It’s like Christmas when I was a kid…

Memories of a distant day seemed to tumble into the palm of my hand.

Ellis: “Kate, I lied to you, a little bit.”

Kate: “…Lied?”

Ellis: “I told you that when I was a kid, we had Christmases like any other…”

Ellis: “Christmas like anywhere else ‘was’…true.”

As I told you before, my house was a really normal house,

It was a Christmas like any other.

The candles on the Christmas cake were always blown out with a single blow.

(But)

Ellis: “One day, everything fell apart.”

Ellis: “I wanted to get it back somehow, I tried my best but…”

Ellis: “Maybe I was the one to screw everything up in the end.”

Kate: “…”

(Maybe that’s why I was relieved every year when Jude assigned me a job.)

(If I stay busy, I don’t have to remember what I broke.)

Kate was just quietly listening to me.

Then, she murmured in a voice as calm and gentle as falling snow.

Kate: “Ellis, when you suddenly remember things from the past and are having a hard time… I’ll be by your side.”

Kate: “When you don’t want to remember, let’s talk more like this again.”

Kate: “…and, this is such a beautiful thing…”

(Aah, Kate.)

(If your words were beautiful things, there would be nothing more beautiful in the world.)

Ellis: “Thank you, Kate.”

Ellis: “Hey, just one more thing… it’s selfish, okay?”

Kate: “Of course, what is it?”

I went behind Kate, who was sitting, and hugged her from behind.

Kate: “Ellis…?”

Ellis: “My family and I used to do this together and hug each other on Christmas.”

Kate: “Yes, that’s what this is? Well then…”

Kate wraps her arms around me and hugs me back.

(Kate, I’m sorry, that was also a lie.)

(I don’t know why… I wanted to do this with you.)

Again, deep within my heart, desire is writhing all over.

(…no, don’t go wild.)

(I want to be nice to you, Kate.)

Kate: “Ellis, um…”

Ellis: “Not yet. Please, let me stay like this just a little longer.”

After all, I don’t think I’ll be able to become the kind of Santa Claus that everyone likes.

A few days passed and before I knew it, the snow bunny I had mad that day had melted away without a trace.

When I told Kate about this, she laughed.

Kate: “Let’s make them together again next year.”

She said.

I can’t explain it well, but I was kind of… happy about that.

Very, very happy.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Bitter End | Premium End | Epilogue

[sweet-as-an-angel]

So Dominic does reveal more when it's safe to do so? OKAY, okay, but what if it takes a lot of time for his beloved to come to trust him? What I mean by that is that some people do not care for their loved one's action simply because they favour them. A normally empathetic person could definitely do that. So if it took around... whatever, 3 years let's say, would he be patient enough if he knew it would lead to his object of affection to basically be okay with everything he does(crazy person behaviour, but it's fictional so it's fiNE)? I'm curious. He's willing to do "anything", but that doesn't mean anything his darling would want specifically. It's anything he would do to get to that specific goal. He isn't exactly known to be nice, especially when he views his kids as burdens. So another question that came to mind, if it hasn't been answered already, would be could he change his mind on his kids? If Y/N likes them, and just really likes kids (even more since they're his), would there be some type of affection growing for them if it came from the simple pattern of "The one I like likes this, therefore I like it."?

Sorry for rambling, I can't seem to pinpoint the man, and he always turns out to be even more vicious than the last ask reveals. I really like how you made him out to be, and as depressing (in the sense that he's a cheater, is clearly insensitive, and would fuck his honey's parent just to excite them?? He's disgustingly intimidating) as I find him to be, it feels more realistic. Would love to punch him, 10/10. Plus he's French. And I'm weak. SO TO SUMMARISE, GOOD WORK, THANK YOU THANK YOU UHM (ỌVỌ)

Thank you so much for writing in, my Lovely ! I am eternally grateful for your kindness and your dedication to reading my posts; I can tell you've even read the more niche ones because you know precisely what Dominic's like ^^. To answer your questions:

Yes, Dominic will only reveal his tendencies to a Darling he can trust wholeheartedly. Granted, he will stow away his true self in order to be with you, but being able to let loose and drop his veneer of humanity is...liberating. That being said, he would only do so if he knows, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that his Darling would not only be okay with it, but actively encourage it. He'll settle for the former, though. He knows not to be pushy when Fate hands him a win.

On the topic of whether Dominic would grow to care about his children if you cared for them...Honestly, Dominic is way past the point of forming connections - true, genuine bonds - with anyone that isn't you. And even then, if it's only his superficial charm you're attracted to, Dominic will wear it constantly, if only to make sure you keep loving him. Even at the cost of his real identity. So, to clarify, Dominic won't truly care for his sons. Not in the way that a normal parent would; rather, he views them as highly valuable assets he can use to keep you close to him. And while he may seem to go above and beyond when protecting them, it's only to ensure you don't fall into some kind of stupour if one or both of them ever came to harm.

If they ever did, Dominic would absolutely use the opportunity to convince you to have a child with him. Either through adoption or traditional means, he'll find a way to tether you to him. And no, he won't care about this child, either. Unless it is biologically yours, then he'd feel some sense of responsibility in taking care of it, but only because it is half of you.

Dominic is, for better or worse, an incredibly complex man whose motives stem from something that transcends the very pinnacles of human vicehood, and I'm so glad to hear that you like the way he is characterised, my Darling ^^ !

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[saintsenara]

You know I think Snape has been successfully paired with every other named character in canon by now, what a delightful slut, but how about Snape with one of the very few people he is demonstrably fond of…Draco.

thank you very much for the asks, anons! it's no longer draco's birthday, but i think having to wait for things is probably good for him...

back in the mists of time, i answered an ask about snaco and said that i didn't back it because i thought that the relationship between snape and draco had too much of a paternal flavour for me to enjoy them doing the nasty.

well, that version of me was a clown and a fool who didn't know what she was talking about.

because i am now of the opinion that snaco slaps - and the complex power dynamic between the two is the reason why.

after all, you have in snaco a mirror of something you have in snarry - snape working tirelessly to protect draco [because, as canon heavily implies, of his profound affection for narcissa], but, since his true motivation in undertaking this work is secret, with snape positioned not as someone controlling draco, but as someone serving him.

[it's really striking - for example - that, in the argument harry overhears at slughorn's party, snape spends the entire thing making offerings to draco. which draco then rejects.]

and you also have - and this is something which i always thinks bangs in snarry - the way that snape's inclination to position himself as a supplicant in relation to his partner is challenged - and either turned into something more equal or allowed to become more entrenched - by the way draco would come to understand the power dynamic between them after the war [or, indeed, after snape covered for him with voldemort, and he was spared any punishment for failing to kill dumbledore].

perhaps you have draco trying to grasp some control post-war, after everything he believes about the proper order of the world has been upended, by punishing snape - accusing him of only having helped him because he was a spy, or accusing him of not really caring about lucius or narcissa - and snape - unmoored in a world he never expected to live to see - retreating into the comfort of shame and grief by submitting to him.

or perhaps you have draco wanting snape to stop seeing him as someone he has to serve and look after, and - accordingly - gradually leading him towards seeing them as partners.

after all, they do have a fair amount in common. harry might try to claim otherwise, but draco is canonically good at potions - and he and snape have similar senses of humour, similar impulses towards childishness and pettiness [draco being a better occlumens than harry is because his stubbornness is much less self-righteous than harry's, rather than because he's more controlled or mature], and similar journeys of disillusionment with the blood- and magic-supremacist views they once wholeheartedly believed in. while i think there are certain points of tension which they'd need to find a way round - above all, their clearly divergent views of draco's wealth - i think they could get there...

[and i think there's an extremely compelling premise - although it won't, of course, be for everyone - in the idea that a relationship between them would be something voldemort directly encouraged during the last year of the war, as one more brick in the wall of his humiliation of lucius throughout deathly hallows. not - perhaps - expecting it to turn into something more.]

[heartkyeom]

grad student!seokmin headcanon

word count: 742

notes: hi, long time no see! I don’t know what this is tbh, my writing has been quite stalled lately but this has been sitting in my drafts so I figured I would finish and post it, I hope you like it. happy new year and I hope you’re taking care of yourself 💗 also sorry for the duplicate line under the read more!! tumblr hates me so it won’t let me fix it

taglist: @weakforsvt @junhui-recs @rasparagus @just-here-to-read-01 @baekhyunstruly

grad student!seokmin walks you home after your shared lecture that always runs late. He always grumbled that your professor should be aware of the time, and you always agree wholeheartedly. You insist that you can walk by yourself, but he doesn’t mind, and you secretly enjoy his company. You both keep each other accountable for thesis deadlines and you’re definitely the closest to each other out of your cohort. Even when you cry on his shoulder about your research feeling unorganized or meaningless, he’s making sure you remember why the work you do is important. In return, you text him not to stay up until 5 am writing like usual. After you both finish your final presentations on the final day of the semester, he walks you home one last time.

“But still, thank you, I really appreciate it,” You smile at him, but you’re not sure you can capture the gravity of your feelings.

“But still, thank you, I really appreciate it,” You smile at him, but you’re not sure you can capture the gravity of your feelings.

The silence is quite intense, you’ve never been this awkward around him before. Both of you are typically able to keep conversation better than this, but you internally grasp for anything that could make him stay a bit longer.

“It’ll be weird not seeing you every few days,” You admit. He turns his head away for a moment, looking slightly reminiscent of the past few months already.

“Same, I’m gonna miss it. We can still hang out though!” He exclaims sweetly.

You knew it wouldn’t be the same, though. You could spend time with him anywhere, but these night walks were a different kind of intimacy that you didn’t think you could replicate with anyone else.

You were already used to the way he laughed slightly too loud at all your jokes, the way he smiled so bright that it reached his eyes, and the way he always waited for you to enter your building before walking away.

His kindness had all built up to feelings that were more than platonic. Now, it was just a matter of if you could confess to him or not.

“Of course, but I have to be honest,” You clear your throat and he stiffens slightly.

“What’s wrong?”

“I’ll miss you because I like you,” You sigh too loud at your own words before continuing, “and letting the semester end without saying anything would make me realize how much I like you. Then, I’d have to wait even longer to tell you.”

He blinks at you, but you notice he’s blushing. You’ve fucked it up, you don’t know why you couldn’t have just bit back your crush like most people could.

Yet, you knew you’d regret it if you didn’t tell him. You prepare for the worst as you watch him approach you, your faces only a few inches apart. He holds your hands in his own.

“I like you too, I just wasn’t sure how to say it yet,” He almost mumbles as he looks down at your hands.

“But, I’m glad you found the courage to tell me,” He finally makes eye contact with you and your heart could nearly burst from how sweet he looks.

“You’re cute,” you giggle. He brings his face closer to yours and it makes you laugh even harder.

“Kiss me and I’ll be even cuter,” He replies. You take the command and connect your lips to his, you can barely comprehend how good it feels. You feel his hands on your face and it draws you into his orbit even further.

You’re almost gasping for air by the time you pull away from him.

Silence lingers between the two of you, and you decide in that moment that you can’t let him get away, not this time.

“Do you want to come upstairs?” You ask quietly, your heart is in your throat but you can’t help but press your luck one last time.

He turns his head away from you for a moment, but you can see the brilliant smile that spreads across his cheeks.

He faces you again and you can hear his excitement before he speaks a single word.

“I would love to.”

[thenntrewrite]

I've been thinking and I want to yap about this: The main catalyst for the entire story—Meliodas and Elizabeth's connection and being cursed by their parents—is in the rewrite. But execution wise, it's different. They sort of go from enemies to lovers to friends by the end.

I wholeheartedly feel Elizabeth didn't really have a chance to live her life out and flesh herself out as a character beyond the main character's love interest. I know she's empathetic, kind, very forgiving, but what about her life before Meliodas? I still think about the Bloody Ellie incident and how there's been absolutely no showing of Elizabeth being beyond the 'empathetic healer that used the power of kindness to drive the demons out' (As far as I can remember. I am overdue for a manga reread). The most damage she's done was to Meliodas the one time he was being a dick and forced her to slap the shit out of him with Arc (And one of the DK fights, but since they all fought him THREE TIMES, it's hard to recall if Elizabeth pulled off the gloves or not. The last time I read that ending was in 2020). Hell, the games do her more justice by giving her a staff. Nothing against healers, they sure do a lot as support for the fighters, but if you're going to insinuate that your character is beyond a healer, than at least show it. I just want Elizabeth to be a properly written character that stands strong on her own and have her backstory written, y'know?

And, well, I'm not the biggest fan of Melizabeth. I can respect Meliodas spending 3,000 years fighting for their love, and Elizabeth being his rock, but when you throw in a curse that bounds you for life, being by your reincarnated love's side when she's a baby/kid, knowing she's destined to fall in love with you again, it feels a lot less romantic. Especially when you look at the first episode in isolation without knowing the backstory, like you really didn't think twice on groping that teenager! I think they could've been super cute if, again, execution was better. But alas, it was not and it's left a terrible taste in my mouth.

[itsclydebitches]

Am I the only one that feels like that Maya!RWBY would get washed by Poser!RWBY, combat-wise? Comparing the scenes from Poser-era to Maya-era, and I find that Team RWBY in the former had better weapon usage and Semblance/Aura versatility than the latter - especially when you look at each of the trailers (I know it's 'Rule of Cool', but still...), not to mention much more coordinated team attacks. Like, Beacon!Weiss is proficient in Time Dilation and Elemental Glyphs while being a proficient fencer; in comparison, Maya!Weiss is just... a summoner. That's it. Like, she's written as if she has no other skills. 'Blek' is knocked down so easily these days and uses her Semblance as a means of escape; Blake, on the hand, not only is a proficient swordswoman but shows versatility with a Kusarigama, marksmanship, and double wielding. Oh, and that's not including her masterful use of her semblance to create afterimages to pull off blitzkrieg combos, and later infuse them with Dust for surprise feints. And how can I forget her fucking aura slashes! Yang, is tankier in Poser, and she uses her Semblance as a last resort/'uno reverse' - letting her CQC skills do the talking; meanwhile, "Yang" just... activates her semblance at the drop of a hat, ruining that surprise factor while slowly becoming heavily reliant on both it and her "weapon upgrades" (which are, in reality, downgrades since her previous explosive rounds were much more versatile in comparison). And Ruby... I can't really say much except that scythemanship-CQC combination and semblance usage were more dynamic. I know it's partly due to Monty and Shane's insane animation skills, but I feel like there's more to it than that. Sorry, these are just my observations.

Wholeheartedly agree. I mean yes, we're all continually acknowledging that we can't have the choreography and vision of the Monty years, but even beyond that recent fights have, for the most part, been shockingly forgettable for me. An immediate exception to that is Ironwood vs. Watts (which uses the environment really well) and I liked portions of the WBY vs. Chessman fight from V9E3, but on the whole the girls feel nerfed despite the claims of, "We're full-fledged huntresses now, capable of beating some of the best in the world."

To add to what you've already got above, some details that immediately spring to my mind are:

Yang repeating the same combat mistake that she made back in Volume 3, resulting in "dying" rather than losing an arm

Ruby now using her semblance primarily to travel (within Atlas HQ, out of the Red Castle, etc.) rather than pulling off cool dodges, ping-ing off of things for extra speed, or creating a tornado-like effect as seen in the food fight. As mentioned many times in the past, sometimes it's not even used for an obvious need, like scaling the mountainside while fighting Cordovin, because the story wants a 'cliffhanger.'

One of the reasons I liked the chessman battle was because we had some actual team attacks, but recent Volumes are still weighed down by separating the teams - even when the story claims that's the key to victory (AKA Ace Ops battle).

This extends to moments like YJB just taking turns against the Hound, or Neo standing there dumbly as Oscar runs the length of a hallway to punch her.

I rarely feel like fights are won with any exciting flourish or narrative satisfaction anymore. (Which is another reason why Ironwood vs. Watts works so well for me: destroying your arm as a massive 'fuck you' to what your enemy thinks you're capable of withstanding to catch them unaware in their confidence is AMAZING.) I still think about Weiss summoning a wall of ice for Harriet to knock herself out against and I'm like... really? That's it?

Ruby doesn't really use her sniper rifle anymore. I loved that she used that to obey Qrow's "Stay back!" command while still trying to help. That used to be another way to slow descent, get in quick shots between swings, help an ally like when she hit Nora with the lightning dust...

I could go on. So many of the new fights are just plain boring to me. Think about how much is solved through the Big Powers now. Ruby takes out The Apathy with her eyes (though I put that in only to establish the pattern. I do like that the emotion-based grimm was defeated via care for another, not fighting.) The Hound goes the same way. Oscar sets off an explosion of magic against Salem. Winter Maidens up to blast Ironwood, etc. They're all incredibly easy wins that, for the most part, just require the magic wielder to stand there and shoot the Powerful Magic Beam at the enemy. Meanwhile, other potentially well-choreographed fights are seeped in narrative problems, like Qrow and Tyrian vs. Clover. Now toss in moments like Blake begging Ruby for help, or her and Weiss being unable to get up the vines, or them straight up forgetting that Cinder is in the city (because strategy is as important as power) and yeah, OG!RWBY would wipe the floor with them.

OG!RWBY is made up of a prodigy child wielding "one of the most dangerous weapons ever designed," a sword master capable of manipulating time, her teammate's powers, versatile glyphs, and her family's dust supply, a tank who supposedly went on a journey to better harness her ability to absorb and redirect energy (which as you say used to be an awesome surprise, not a response every time Yang gets mildly annoyed at someone), and the child of combat activists who, by her own admission, had to fight early and well to survive outside the Kingdoms. Team RWBY now feels like they're powerful primarily because a) they claim they are and b) they've got various forms of magic in their back pocket.

[darkmacadamien]

Whumptober 2023, No. 1: Swooning + "How many fingers am I holding up?"

Sam rarely tackles during training, mostly because he wishes to avoid injuring his teammates. He knows how to throw a clean tackle, mind you, where his feet hit nothing but the ball, but accidents do happen, even in the world of professional football. So, most of the time, it's not really worth the risk.

But when it comes to Jamie Tartt… as per usual, he is proving to be the exception.

Sam is rarely like this— vindictive and needlessly aggressive. Hatred is not an emotion that comes naturally to him. And Sam knows that, in some ways, his current behavior is no better than Jamie's had been a year ago, because for all his faults, Jamie never got physical with anyone on the team besides Roy, and even then, Roy always initiated it.

But Sam can't help it. Maybe it's because the rest of the team is egging him on, clapping him on the back every time Jamie hits the ground. Or, perhaps, it's the silence from his coaches, who may not wholeheartedly approve but who are also pointedly averting their eyes. Or, he wonders, maybe it's because Jamie has taken every single tackle without a word of protest. Each time Sam sweeps his feet out from underneath him, Jamie springs back up without any of his usual theatrics, a determined tilt to his mouth.

In the back of his mind, where his most shameful thoughts live, it makes Sam a little angry, that he can't evoke a response out of Jamie like Jamie can out of him. He yearns for a hint of unease, or irritation, for Jamie to lash out and prove that he hasn't changed, that he's still the awful individual that made Sam question everything about himself last season.

Of course, things like these are never so simple; Jamie Tartt is such an expert at getting underneath other people's skin because he himself is largely unshakeable. Besides that, Jamie is unlikely to slip up while he's in such a precarious position with the rest of the team because, like all football players, he works better under pressure. So, in lieu of forcing Jamie into an embarrassing breakdown in the middle of training, Sam channels his frustrations into making sure Jamie spends more time flat on his back than he does standing.

And if Sam continues to take Jamie down harder and harder as training progresses, who will say anything to him? Jamie deserves a bit of rough handling, as he is sure everyone here would agree.

So when Sam sees another opportunity for a tackle, he doesn’t hesitate; he chases Jamie across the pitch at full tilt and throws his entire body into it, going straight for Jamie's ankles, completely disregarding the ball. Except this time, Jamie sees it coming (mostly because Sam had made no effort to pretend he was doing anything else), and he tries to dodge, twisting his hips sideways to avoid the sweeping arc of Sam's legs. He miscalculates minutely, feet slipping on muddy ground, and instead of clearing the tackle, his shin bone comes into direct contact with the toe of Sam's boot.

It's a hard collision, a product of Jamie's speed and Sam's weight, and it sends a wave of agony down Sam's toes through the arch of his foot.

Jamie yelps and goes flying, clipping his temple on the ground before he has time to catch himself with his hands. Sam winces at the audible thump, feeling the sticky beginnings of guilt growing in his abdomen. He can only imagine how badly that must've hurt Jamie; directly hitting bone is always painful, and though Sam doubts that he'd broken anything, there would be a nasty bruise. Jamie would be walking with a limp for several days, at the very least.

Coach Lasso blows his whistle, signaling a pause in training, and begins jogging across the field, Coaches Beard and Nate hot on his heels.

Sam stands up, ignoring his protesting foot, and shuffles over to his teammate, thrusting a hand out to help him up.

"Jamie," he says, "I am very sorry. Are you alright?"

Now that Sam can properly look at him, he notes that Jamie had landed in a very awkward position, with half of his face buried in soft grass and one arm tucked completely underneath him. More alarmingly, however:

He's not moving.

"Jamie?" Sam tries again, his voice pitching up in worry.

The coaches finally make it over to where Jamie is crumpled on the ground, and the rest of the team, sensing that something is amiss, follows closely behind, forming a loose circle around their downed player.

"What seems to be the problem here, fellows?" Coach Lasso asks, resting his hands carefully on his hips.

“Coach Lasso, I—” But Sam is unable to force the words past his frozen lips.

"Coach," Isaac barks. "He's not moving."

"Oh, man," Coach Lasso says, and kneels next to Jamie, turning him over. Half of his face is coated in soil, and his eyes are half-lidded, flickering intermittently.

"Hey, buddy," Coach Lasso says. "Can you hear me?"

No response. Jamie’s chest is still rising steadily, Sam is grateful to see, but it’s clear that the tumble had knocked him completely unconscious.

Sam begins to feel sick. Suddenly, he wonders why he thought this had been such a good idea.

"Oh, man," Coach Lasso repeats. "Hey, uh, Will? You mind grabbing the doctor right quick? Tell him we sort of have an emergency going down on the field right now."

Will takes off sprinting across the field, dropping the case of water bottles midway in his haste to reach the tunnel.

The pitch settles into silence while they wait for Will to return with the doctor. Coach Lasso brushes back the hair that had fallen into Jamie’s face in the fall, an odd tenderness to the motion.

"Maybe he's faking it," Colin suggests shakily.

As if summoned, Jamie suddenly jackknifes up from the ground, nearly knocking his forehead into Coach Lasso's. It frightens Colin nearly half-to-death, who jumps so hard he bumps both him and Isaac to the ground.

"Oh, thank god," Coach Lasso says. He snaps his fingers a few times in front of Jamie's eyes. From Sam’s viewpoint, they appear to be severely out of focus; his pupils are so large that only a small sliver of his iris is visible. "You with us, buddy? How many fingers am I holding up?"

"Fourteen," Jamie moans, before turning over and vomiting onto the pitch. It’s mostly dry heaving, with hardly anything coming up, but it sounds and looks painful. Sam’s stomach cramps in sympathy.

“Not quite, kiddo,” Coach Lasso says, grimacing as he runs a hand soothingly along Jamie’s spine. Will arrives with the doctor a moment later, who kneels down on Jamie’s other side, carefully avoiding the puddle of sick.

“Hello, love,” she says. “Do me a favor, eh? Can you follow my finger?”

She holds her index finger up, tapping it a few times with her thumb to catch Jamie’s attention, before she carefully moves it to the left, and then to the right. Jamie’s eyes remain stubbornly unfocused, staring straight ahead.

“Yeah, that’s a concussion. Can someone help me get him to the treatment room?”

Sam finds himself volunteering before he can think twice. “I will do it,” he says.

“I don’t know if that’s such a good idea,” Coach Lasso says, his voice carefully neutral. He’s peering at Sam through his aviators, and Sam feels frozen by his gaze.

Though he doesn’t explicitly say it, Sam understands what is being implied perfectly. You’re the reason he’s like this.

Coach Lasso would never say that directly, of course—likely, he’d instead turn it into a very confusing life lesson, mixed with a personal anecdote that doesn’t exactly align with the current situation.

It leaves a nasty taste on Sam’s tongue, but not because he feels slighted; it’s because Coach Lasso is correct. “I will ensure he comes to no further harm,” Sam promises and squeezes between Coach Lasso and Jamie to hook an arm around his waist and hoist him up.

Jamie moans in protest, his knees buckling, and the doctor swoops in on his other side, catching him underneath his arms. “Alright then,” she says. “Let’s get going.”

The hobble to the treatment room is difficult and stilted, with Jamie limping and dizzy, but they make it, depositing Jamie gently on an examination table.

The doctor begins rifling through one of the many cabinets for elastic bandages to wrap and ice Jamie’s shin, and Sam steps back to hover awkwardly by the doorway. The doctor curses. “Looks like we’re all out of wrapping tape,” she says. “Keep an eye on him for a moment, will you?” she asks Sam, but she leaves the room before he can respond.

Not that he would’ve said no, of course.

Sam shuffles further into the room and uses the brief lapse in silence to take a closer look at Jamie, noticing for the first time his gaunt cheeks and the bags underneath his eyes. He looks much slimmer than Sam remembers, especially in his face and upper body. This could perhaps be attributed to his sudden departure from Manchester City and thus a subsequent lack of training, but Jamie had never struck Sam as an individual who deviated far from his workout plan. Furthermore, during his brief stint on Lust Conquers All, Jamie had looked as healthy as ever, with tan skin and broad muscles.

A far cry from the pale and drawn individual sitting in front of Sam now, though that had not been so long ago.

He looks awful. He’s looked awful ever since he rejoined the team, Sam realizes, now that anger is no longer clouding his judgment. Jamie Tartt had always been so much larger than life that Sam often forgot that, like everyone else, he was only flesh and blood.

The Jamie sitting in front of him is not the same Jamie that had taken great pleasure in pointing out all of Sam’s flaws. This Jamie seems like he would hardly take pleasure in anything at all.

Sam looks at Jamie, worn down and ragged, and wonders when he became the kind of person to kick someone while they were already down.

“Jamie,” Sam says, and Jamie flinches at the mention of his name. It sends a spear through Sam’s heart.

“I owe you an apology,” Sam tells him.

Jamie staunchly avoids his gaze, staring at a point on the floor instead. “S’alright,” he mumbles, picking at his cuticles. “Deserved it anyways. I was a prick t’you.”

“No, it is not alright. Though I am angry, and frustrated, I should have never resorted to physical violence.”

A muscle in Jamie’s jaw clenches. “I was a prick,” he repeats. “’Sides, it’s nothing I ain’t used to. Don’t worry ‘bout it.”

Sam gets the distinct feeling Jamie did not mean to say that last part, judging by the way he clenches his eyes shut. Sam wisely chooses to ignore it, filing the information away carefully for later.

“Even so, my actions were unacceptable. One wrong does not excuse another. I am truly sorry, Jamie.”

“All good, man,” Jamie says, kicking his feet. “M’sorry, too. For being such a dick last season, and relegating Richmond, like.”

Jamie sounds genuinely reticent, though he looks like a guilty child who’d been caught with his hand stuck down the cookie jar. It’s oddly endearing, Sam finds. He holds out a hand to Jamie as a peace offering.

Jamie takes it hesitantly and finally looks up to meet Sam’s eyes. “Thank you, my friend,” Sam tells him, and shakes his hand firmly. Jamie smiles, a small and shy thing, and it strikes Sam that he’d never seen Jamie smile like this before. It warms Sam’s heart, that Jamie would trust him with something so rare.

They stay there for a moment, basking in the easy silence, before Jamie’s face abruptly turns pale green. “Bucket, bucket, bucket,” he groans. Sam drops his hand like it’s on fire. “Oh, yes, of course,” he says, stumbling across the room to grab the trash bin, and he barely manages to shove it underneath Jamie’s chin before he’s vomiting again. Jamie spits some excess bile out of his mouth, coughing and spluttering, and rests his forehead on the edge of the bin clutched in his lap.

“You’re kind of scary sometimes, Obisanya,” Jamie says, sounding miserable.

Sam laughs at the absurdity of the statement. “You must be the only person who has ever told me that,” he tells Jamie.

“No, I’m serious,” Jamie whines. “You’re like those little fuzzballs that turn into monsters when you feed them after midnight.”

“Jamie, are you calling me a gremlin?”

“No!” Jamie immediately protests, before his face twists up in thought. “Well, yeah, actually.”

Sam cracks a grin, amused, and suddenly they’re both dissolving into a fit of laughter, Jamie clutching his midriff and Sam leaning on Jamie’s shoulder for balance.

Perhaps Jamie coming back had not been such a bad thing, after all.