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soysaucevictim · 1 year ago

Text

“it feels like my brain (was floating in a fishtank)”

(See warnings/summary on Ao3.)

[ Prologue/Start ] [ Previous ]

Chapter 10: When Shall I Be Free?

Vic noticed Roman acting strange, a lot like Remus had before he made Jude.

So he wasn’t as blindsided when Roman asked to come with him to work, otherwise, out of nowhere. Roman was twitchy and distracted, as Vic refreshed his kid on where everything was at the zoo. Roman was never as interested in the animals there as Remus and it had been years since Roman was last here.

Vic knew if he hadn’t had the blessing of knowing his sons their whole life – he’d probably be confused about why they were so different about it. Vic agreed with Remus on the animals being better than people, humans also being animals taken into account, it really was like the kid sort of knew what he was on some level?

Roman was very visibly uncomfortable with basically any animal species that had some sort of nonsense stigma attached to them. The last time Roman was even at the zoo ended in him being spooked by watching one of the ambassador komodo dragons tearing apart a deer carcass behind the scenes. It was like he desperately wanted to separate himself from them.

Ever since Vic Awakened, he realized he only could draw parallels with his “patients”, personal experiences, and philosophy more than fully getting inside their heads. Perhaps, Logan was onto something on that one. He saw how uncomfortable Roman was about a lot of things, and wished he could help more.

“Dad?”

“Yes?”

“This is going to sound weird and gross… but where do you keep the animals when they die? I-I don’t think I can do what I need to when there’s still life in their eyes...”

“Understandable. Admittedly, the bureaucracy will be easier to deal with that way, too.”

Vic brought his son over to the freezers where they kept all dead animals for processing. They were waiting on necropsy and sample-taking from the on-site lab. Those not to be cremated in the same lab were to be prepared for natural history museums or colleges with veterinary/ecological programs.

There were different species at different stages – grouped together by taxa. There was usually a pretty diverse selection from eagles to green iguanas. Vic wasn’t sure where to point his son toward, worried he wouldn’t stand the sight of it all. “Take your time, mijo. I’ll tell you if you can… use the remains.”

It was a chilled room with shelves of labeled containers, Vic always shivered a little bit in this space. Remus often shrugged it off and it looked like Roman was unaffected too. Remus liked colder weather and Roman just ran pretty hot, so it made sense to Vic. Roman paced around looking for whatever he needed here, not saying anything and a look of laser focus.

Eventually they stuck around the iguanas section, this zoo had a robust population that were crowd favorites. They were pretty well cared for there, but accidents, old age, and other things happen. A lot of times it was pretty open and shut cases for the zoo staff.

When Vic cleared Roman for a pair of specimens, and they had them splayed onto a table nearby. Roman asked, “There’s no cameras in here are there?”

Vic had to glance around before reassuring him, “Nope!”

“Okay, didn’t think so.”

Vic watched as a low growl came from Roman and energies gathered around him. This time he saw features of Roman’s Horror flicker into view, jagged claws and scaly skin. The skin looked ethereal and mid-molt, no wonder he seemed so agitated.

Roman peeled off pieces of skin and gingerly swaddled the two lizards in it. In moments, the skin melted into them. They started to twitch uncontrollably like Galvani’s frogs. The green scales took on the same colors of his Horror, even though the iguanas’ natural color pattern remained.

These weren’t juveniles and weren’t exactly small – but they grew nearly a whole extra yard in length. Their claws and spines hardened, twisted, and darkened into gnarled lava glass. The teeth grew larger and sharper – no longer the herbivorous pattern they naturally had and so quickly that their jaws warped unevenly. Then, the two creatures curled up into a painful looking ball as each violently sprouted bloody wings. The blood crystallized into scales and the two creatures righted themselves as if nothing had happened.

Vic swore that the whole thing should have disturbed Roman, given how he acted around Remus’s horrorspawn. But Roman stood there with a hazy smile, petting them affectionately. Roman looked to Vic asking, “Aren’t Rubí and Oro the cutest?”

Vic blinked and stared at them, he and Remus had a bizarre definition of “cute” as it was. He could find something uncanny and endearing about these new horrorspawn – but he had enough social awareness to know that not many would upon looking at them.

He supposed he shouldn’t be surprised, given the time he wandered around in Roman’s soul. A solid reminder of what Roman and Remus were – there was no way of changing that. And he had no desire to.

They could unpack everything once Remus was back, safe and sound.

In the last week of October, Remus’s horrorspawn stopped harassing the brood entirely.

The instant midnight struck, making it officially All Hallow’s Eve, Remus left Roman another message. Only it didn’t sound like his brother at all, at least at first.

“Miss me? I hope you didn’t forget our appointment this fine evening? I’ve been building up to something and I’m looking forward to showing it to you all. I’ll be around the New Orleans Square. You won’t disappoint me, will you? Please please be there, Robro. I-I’m sca-!”

Again, he was cut off. Roman was relieved his brother was still alive out there, but he had no idea what to expect once at Disneyland. Everyone had whipped together some costumes beforehand. Besides being festive, it would provide some plausibly deniable cover for some of the brood’s planned supernatural activity. That’s what Janus asserted, anyways.

Roman couldn’t get out of his mind ever since he “talked” to Milo about making nightmares, the stupid nickname he got. He huffed, going for Jake Long’s outfit. It was still Disney, so it was good enough. The green highlights suited Remus more, if he was being honest with himself.

Everyone was to arrive at the park, except for Patton. Pretty much everyone was vocal about not endangering him by taking him along. Carrie was able to convince him to go trick-or-treating with those Heroes she met at the Ren Fair. He’d be in good hands. That didn’t stop her worrying about all the other park guests, nor whatever state Remus was in.

Virgil was restless about the separation, but Carrie was glad that he could be convinced this was for the best. Patton even cheerfully handed him the costume he wanted his brother to wear, which made Virgil flush with embarrassment. It was a Spider-Man suit – but at least he picked the black one from the third movie. Tastefully edgy.

Carrie found some amusement that Vic and Logan were dressed as fictional doctors, Dolittle and Frankenstein, respectively. Logan seemed more annoyed about it than Vic – so he used that magic to make them more distinguished. Logan cribbed from the Romantic Period attire and Vic was more contemporary. Vic asked to have some embroidery with animals on his own lab coat, Logan obliged in that embellishment.

Carrie herself dressed up like Elizabeth Swan, in a stylish replication of Sao Feng’s armor. She also tied on that enchanted bag, to hide her actual weapons from the gate crew. She did, however, bring along fake swords to assemble the look. She was more focused on wanting to completely and utterly exterminate the monster that took her son from her, but if that wasn’t feasible- she shook her head. She simply thought, “We’ll obliterate that bridge when we get to it.”

In addition to the contingency plan materials, Logan tossed a can of AXE body spray and a lighter into the bag. Carrie quirked an eyebrow and Logan simply answered, “Just in case.”

Janus didn’t really stray from their typical color scheme and elegance. When Vic asked about it, Janus smirked and showed him some fangs and a few fake blood squibs. Logan groaned, “A vampire, of course she picks that.”

This earned an indignant huff from Janus, and some much needed laughter from the remaining brood members. They were all sure they wouldn’t be able to appreciate the mirth at the park for long.

They arrived a few hours after noon.

The park was done up for the whole month to celebrate the occasion. Topping the entrance gates were several pumpkins and jack o’ lanterns fashioned into characters like Mickey, Minnie, Goofy, and Donald.

There were no incidents in line, as Roman had his horrorspawn sneak through ahead of them. There were a few scant glances at them, but no one intervened. The funny thing about all this supernatural stuff was how beings like himself had to pretend to be Normal. They could find some protection in the crowd, but he was sure that wasn’t going to remain the case soon.

Roman still had trouble getting into the mood like pretty much every year before this point. It was one of his and Remus’s favorite holidays. It was definitely Remus’s, to no one’s surprise. Roman had it tied with Christmas – that meant more treasure to his pile. He groaned, thinking, “Quit thinking like Remus is- no. I’m not even going to finish that thought.”

City Hall and the rest of Main Street were decorated with warm, fall colors: in the bunting, the marigolds, the carnations, and more jack o’lanterns peppering the buildings around them. Roman couldn’t focus very well, in between the overhanging dread and maintaining command of Rubí and Oro. Oro kept wanting to snatch away some of the carved pumpkins, littering the place. Rubí snuck off and stole one of those Mickey light spinners from some random guest that was too busy on the phone to notice it.

At least they hid from sight of most people here, when they returned with the objects he loved. It was energizing to him, but he had to tell them to stop doing it, just in case. His mom noticed how restless he was, “Roise, don’t worry too much, alright? We’ll find him. So help me-”

Roman noticed that terrifying fury simmering behind her eyes, fury and fear. He didn’t comment on that, “Th-thanks, mom…”

While they were still going north along Main Street, someone bumped into Virgil. Virgil didn’t seem to catch who they were beyond saying, “Geez, dude. Coming in here smelling like an entire brewery!?”

Roman’s attention snapped to them just before they got lost in the crowd. It was some random guy dressed as King Triton, his gait obviously drunken. He wore one of those golden sequin shirts, on top of all the canon stuff. He had a suspicious fanny pack around the waist and a replica of the Trident strapped to his back. The prop seemed familiar to Roman, somehow. It was a wonder how he managed to get past park security in such a state.

Despite some of his face being covered by a large costume beard, Roman suddenly recognized it. Roman elbowed Virgil, “I-I think that was the police chief, Vee.”

Virgil let out a hushed curse, “Why is he here!?”

“I don’t know!”

Roman was unsettled by that, “Was he going where I think he was going?”

Janus cleared their throat, “I believe he was heading into Frontierland.”

Vic piped up, “How-?”

Janus whispered to him, “You should know by now. I have eyes in many places, Val.”

Virgil rolled his eyes, as the rest of them renewed their focus. It was along the way to New Orleans Square. As they walked along the Rivers of America, everyone had a strange feeling. Carrie looked around first, “I-I think I can sense him nearby!”

The Beasts in the group nodded at each other.

Before much longer, Roman saw Remus standing there at the Photo Spot. Remus was staring at the docked Columbia, very still, with strange company. He was dressed like the others in the group, wearing burgundy robes. Roman shuddered about them being the so-called friends his brother mentioned. They reeked of overflowing fear and admiration, yet no other guests acknowledged their presence.

He looked back, “I-I want to try to talk to him, first.”

Janus whispered back, “Be careful.”

Virgil added, “We got your back. Because, someone has to.”

Roman took a deep breath and approached. He recognized at least one of the robed guys from the scalpers group and another one of the staff members from their high school. Another of them, a total stranger, had a more elaborate robe. They had a hand on his brother’s shoulders, they hadn’t moved the entire time. As he drew closer he saw just how sickly Remus appeared, it made him want to run toward him. “Remus! Is that you?”

Remus waved back eagerly, and once the distance was closed he wore an unhinged smile, “The, one and only, Robro!”

“A-are you okay?”

“Never better!”, Remus’s smile appeared forced, “But yeah, wanted to show off some new friends!”

The person who was still holding Remus’s shoulder smiled at Roman, “I’m sorry I took so long to properly introduce myself. You may call me Cass, you must be Roman! I’ve heard so much about you from My Sign.”

They reached out with a free hand. Roman noticed that it had burns on it and he shook his head vigorously, “Let go of him.”

Remus frowned, his face flashing with fear before that smile was plastered back on.

Cass’s tone became apathetic, “I’m afraid I can’t do that. I’m its Herald and we are bonded by such a great Promise, you see?”

Roman looked more closely at where the two had contact and was immediately revolted. The arm was writhing and incomprehensibly inhuman and actually buried into his brother’s shoulder. Cass smiled as they went toward caressing Remus, more of Cass’s body boring into Remus.

Remus’s manner was delirious, “¿No es maravilloso Cass? ”

Roman saw red and went to try to rip Cass off his brother, but it happened too fast. In an instant, the Insatiable and Remus had merged completely into one another. “Say hello to my Harbingers! Go forth and tear at reality itself!”

From out of the river rose a fleet of Remus’s horrorspawn. Just like Remus, they looked wrong. They looked like they were rotting and blistered and some of the many eyes on them were clouded over. Before Roman could react – they started to dart off in different directions of the park.

That was the rest of the Brood’s cue to step in, before anyone could get hurt. The nearest crowd of guests ran off screaming, Carrie took the opportunity to shoot down one of the spawn, it took a few frantic reloads for it to fall and come apart. It was difficult with how unpredictably it moved and not wanting to hurt any of the guests.

Vic was restless, looking at Logan, “Do you feel that Ellis?”

Logan, nodded, “Unfortunately. It would seem they were here longer than we anticipated.”

Carrie spoke up, “What are you two-?”

The mages shivered moments before a fog rolled in. From the mist, phantoms appeared among the crowd. Some looked confused and benign, but many took more guests for a chase, some even entered the humans around them. Vic was told of one of the things that the Insatiable can do – thinning the veil between ghosts, spirits, and mortals. It could be so thin that those without Sight can see them, too. There was a reason for this to be the chosen day.

Familiar faces manifested before the party. The ghost of Steve gazing upon those who knew him with uncharacteristic resignation. He was somehow readable despite the poorly reconstructed approximation of what his face used to be. A few others had circled Remus, some Roman vaguely recognized, others not. Remus froze at the sight of one of them, as if he remembered something horrific.

Vic was told by Logan that ghosts like these typically weren’t able to speak and were drawn to whatever or whoever anchors them to the Material plane. This was entirely Logan’s wheelhouse and he seemed to remain cool about it all. Logan used some of his own magic to fend off whatever ghosts he could.

Ghosts weren’t the only thing that came out to play. Spirits were something Vic grew a sensitivity toward. Unlike ghosts, they were never human in nature. Manifestations of gluttony bleeding into view from the nearby restaurants. They impelled a few humans to overwhelm said venues to eat and eat and eat. To say nothing of representations for the many other emotions, drives, and concepts the park had distilled over its decades of existence – some had even taken the shape of Disney characters. One of those spirits of gluttony? It looked like Winnie the Pooh, and it seemed to be completely oblivious about its own influence. The sheer bedlam of it all made it hard for him to remain focused on why they were there.

Vic did grasp that Arcana well enough to shield himself against the more aggressive of these spirits. He narrowly avoided a metaphysical volley from a spirit in the shape of Clayton himself, approaching from Tarzan's Treehouse. Vic didn’t have the same command over them, like what Logan was demonstrating with the dead. He was just glad that Clayton's attention was taken by the crowd-swell, its very presence bringing some guests and Character Actors to violence against each other. Really, most of his concerns lied in the fate of his children, as selfish as that sounded. He just needed to stay out of harm's way and conserve energy, to provide healing where necessary.

Something that broke through the attention of the brood was Wayne running towards Remus, shouting, “KENNY!?”

The ghost that gripped Remus with fear slowly and mournfully looked over at Wayne. Kenny had looked like he was dismembered, the pieces floating roughly where they should normally. It looked like something had voraciously gnawed onto those pieces. Roman then recognized that face and name for the ghost – he didn’t have the time to connect more than that. Within that fanny pack, Wayne had somehow smuggled in a pistol.

Roman and Virgil ran after.

Something stopped Wayne’s pursuit cold, another ghost stood between Remus and Wayne. “D-Diane? Is that you? I heard from Ken- are you really-?”

Diane was mangled and parts of her looked like she was being eaten through by a powerful acid. Her face was screwed into a scowl, nodding. Wayne looked like he was going to collapse from grief, before she reached out to him. He reached back, allowing her possession of him. The union marched up and took aim. Diane’s voice came from Wayne with renewed and sober resolve, “You ruined everything! My big day! Our lives! MY life!”

Virgil looked about the area, webbed one of the nearest trash cans, and clipped out, “Oh no you don’t!”

Virgil pulled the bin and swung it into Wayne, just as he was about to squeeze the trigger.

Before the gun flew out of Wayne’s hands, he managed to fire a couple shots. Both missed Remus. One landed into Jim’s shoulder, the other vaguely toward Tom Sawyer’s Island. Jim immediately screamed as he attempted to take cover, despite the threat and pain, he never strayed too far from Remus. The union’s expression only got angrier, wincing and huffing, “Daddy Dearest. I think you had far too much to drink.”

Carrie dispatched another of Remus’s spawn. Wayne, during his attempt at recovery, fumbled in his reach for the trident. Virgil dashed up to Wayne before he could take up the weapon, aiming to neutralize that threat.

Roman approached his brother again. Remus seemed lucid and horrified in that moment, his eyes stuck on Kenny the entire time.

Roman shouted, “Taz, what’s going on!?”

Remus stammered, not registering Roman at all, “C-Cass, why did-?”

Remus doubled over vomiting and what came out was an endless tarry torrent. He heaved and heaved and heaved. It wasn’t natural, Roman dreaded to think what that fiend was doing to his brother. Roman stepped up close, unavoidably stepping in the mess, “Taz, are you still in there?”

Remus gave a few shuddering breaths before erupting into a broken cackle, it made Roman step back.

Not-Remus stood up straight, staring into Roman, “Not for long, morsel.”

Not-Remus charged after Roman with a murderous glare, his eyes holding a searing green glow and his sclera turning black. A glow made brighter against the dusky sky. Roman froze a moment before getting his spawn on the scene and jumping back, assisted by a powerful wing beat. The gust of wind also unsteadied Not-Remus’s pursuit.

Both Carrie and Vic cried out, in between all the threats, “REJOE!”

Roman’s voice trembled, “Remus. Please. Are you-!?”

Before vanishing into the Primordial Dream, Janus hissed out, “Remember. The Plan. Everyone!”

Not-Remus laughed, glancing where Janus once stood, “Running away?”

Roman lunged forward to tackle Remus, “Eyes on me, brother!”

Roman really tried not to injure Remus, while restraining him. Not-Remus cackled, seeming to know that Roman was holding back, they spat more of that tar into Roman’s face. It smelled like rot and Roman tried not to gag, letting go momentarily to wipe it clear. “Don’t you have any more fight in you?”

“If you would just stop fighting dirty-!”

Roman grappled Remus even harder, this time his claws drawing some blood. The back of Roman’s mind raced, hoping this plan was going to work, he just needed to buy everyone time. His dad could heal Remus after it was over, he hoped. He didn’t want to think about failure. He didn’t want to think about killing his own brother.

Wayne was desperately constrained by Virgil’s webs, wheezy screaming and coughing in the process. Vic glanced over and could tell the police chief had definitely broken a rib or few, in the scuffle. The union's gaze glared at Remus first, but darted toward Virgil and Roman, too. “I should have killed that thing when I had the chance!”

Virgil groaned, binding up Wayne tighter, “‘Didn’t even have one in hell, pig.”

Virgil was done with Wayne once he sealed the man’s mouth shut. He then went to help Roman’s horrorspawn and Carrie in destroying more of Remus’s.

Not-Remus kept thrashing and started shrieking in pain and fury against Roman’s hold, Roman grimaced, “I don’t know what this Promise bullshit is and I don’t fucking care!”

As more and more of Remus’s horrorspawn were knocked out, Remus started to look more and more sickly. And his body started to shift. His skin started to look like his Horror, only this wasn’t like normal atavism use. It was visceral and Remus looked like he was in the most pain Roman had ever seen.

Roman’s grip loosened enough for Remus to wriggle out from underneath. Remus stood up shakily and hunched over as his tentacles started coming forth. Roman was dumbstruck, as Remus dived into the nearby water feature.

Roman screamed, “REMUS!”

He was about to follow, but Remus surfaced before he could.

Remus still looked vaguely human. But his form was more twisted and imposing, with features of his own towering Horror looking more corporeal than ever. There were other details that were completely wrong, pieces of marine life that looked as if they were fused to Remus. If the stakes were any smaller, he would imagine Remus quipping about “Dead Man’s Chest” and Davy Jones’s cursed crew.

Barnacles, starfish, blue bottles. Many alien, vibrant and luminescent strands of tissue wrapped around Remus like a creeping vine. Many more of such strands floated freely, threatening to ensnare anything in reach. They were grotesque and beautiful, reminding Roman of those sparkling waterfall fireworks the park would use in their nightly shows. Only the trails hung from the tendrils in a stasis. Rather, it was like a shining beaded curtain, held together with gnarled strands of jellied viscera. A cross between Remus's own tentacles and something almost wing-like.

Roman remembered something either Remus or his dad brought up once…

Vic gasped, “That, that looks like a giant siphonophore! Everyone be careful!”

Vic was divided between trying to pacify the rampant spirits and running to help Remus. Logan stopped him, “Don’t. Janus is working on pulling Cass out of your son’s Lair. Cass appears to be desperate now.”

Virgil looked worried, “This almost looks like…”

Carrie asked, “What?”

“Something that Beasts can’t turn back from. But-”

“Hm?”

“Janus knows this stuff better, they really need to hurry up.”

Roman was getting frustrated, he jumped up from the nearest railing and just out of reach of those tendrils. Roman then burned the nearest appendage with his breath. This earned more wild flailing and inhuman screeching from Not-Remus.

Roman managed to disable a couple more of them, dodging many swipes to grab him. It was like Hercules versus the Hydra, there just seemed to be more around the corner. He was so focused on them that he didn’t expect one of Remus's tentacles managing to grab him by the foot and being yanked down into the water. It happened so fast, he didn’t have the chance to hold his breath.

Roman never wanted to experience what his brother did in his nightmares. Yet here he was, lungs burning for air, thrashing uselessly, a creeping sense of doom coming over him. The sensation worsened as he felt something else grab him and the stabbing, burning sensation spread all over, he realized he could no longer move.

Carrie hurled the magic bag to Logan. She took only her estoc with her as she sprinted and dived in the water without a thought. The Bright Dream mixing with her overwhelming desire to protect Roman in that moment, guided her blade. She sliced through something. She felt more sounds of pain coming from Not-Remus as she tried to scoop Roman up and out of the water.

When they surfaced, Vic immediately went to work resuscitating the unconscious Roman. Vic channeled his magic into counteracting the venom as he helped his son purge the water from his lungs.

Carrie looked back and saw the severed tentacle stub flail and bleed blue. Remus’s breathing was ragged, about to grab at anyone who got too close to the water before his eyes widened, staring at his brother.

Remus clutched himself as he lurched back onto dry land. He wanted to see if he was okay. His form was still twisted and wrong, and his legs felt like noodles, unaware they were still mostly in the form of tentacles. He didn’t get far before more sick erupted from his mouth. He passed out and his body slowly started to shrink aground.

Janus reappeared on the scene, at the foot of Remus. Janus's breathing was ragged, with a few tears and other things amiss in their outfit. They hissed in Remus's direction, bringing attention to it, "You owe me a new sssunhat!"

Janus then took up one of the unresponsive tendrils, wrapping it around their hand and pulled hard.

More pain shot through Remus as he felt something being ripped out of him. He only had the energy to curl up as felt something loosen its grip around its soul. The pain started to wash away, he wasn’t aware enough to notice his body had slowly started to turn back to normal.

Janus stood there with an enormous, bloated, waterlogged corpse of something not even remotely human. An incomprehensible hodgepodge of rotting sea life parts, and far too many teeth. It reeked strongly of salty sea water, sulfur, and ammonia. It twitched and writhed, as it tried to take in Janus as another host.

Logan fashioned a magically enhanced flamethrower from his last minute additions to the inventory. He immediately blasted the mass that they all knew to be Cass. Cass recoiled from the wave of heat and so did Janus.

Logan then used his magic to command the ghosts to continue tearing apart Cass. Cass’s screams would have been a source of mirth if not for how it persisted in its writhing.

Virgil flinched before cocooning the portions of Cass and tacking them down before they could converge once more. Logan sighed, “Looks like it’s time for Plan B. Carrie? We don’t have much time to pull this off.”

They pulled forth the components to contain Cass, their special enchantments giving off an eerily hungry glow. Reliquaries mostly fashioned out of several gaudy pieces of costume jewelry, alongside that jar of dirt Roman suggested, to Logan’s bafflement at the time.

As Logan and Carrie worked together to imprison Cass piece by piece, the spell Cass had on the park was slowly receding. The Schism. They had to hurry and leave the scene before anyone held any suspicions on what transpired there.

The twins were stabilized, but still lethargic and disoriented according to Vic.

The party split up from there. It was the Espinoza parents and Logan’s job to transport Cass’s remains. None of the Beasts were willing to let that thing into the Primordial Dream as they used that path out of the park – the fastest way to get the twins back to the estate, courtesy of Janus this time.

Once they did reconvene, the exhaustion in everyone was evident. For the moment, Carrie and Vic were simply glad to have their children back and together again.

@milktea531 @r0sethrills

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#spilled musing #sanders sides #begotten au #roman sanders #remus sanders #virgil sanders #logan sanders #janus sanders

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pjsk-writin · 2 years ago

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Okay! I'm a big pokemon nerd so I'm gonna throw my hat in the ring! I'm going based off of pokemon I think would compliment them or that I think they'd pick, NOT off aesthetics or what I think their personality directly matches 1:1. I'm far more interested in dynamics or character choices than I am in pairing off on aesthetics.

OKAY SO! NIGHTCORD FIRST:

Kanade has a savior complex but also struggles to take care of herself, so my immediate thought was one of the Pokecenter assistants, both since they're healers and because she needs a pokemon that could help her out. Of them, I think audino is a solid pick. While she could use some support, she's more focused on the emotional side of saving people, and audino is able to consistently tell how people are feeling! I feel like she'd find that amazing.

Mafuyu is a tough one since she has trouble telling her own feelings, but I want to say a tangela! it's a little void looking thing (you can only see its eyes) wrapped up in tangled vines. Nobody knows what it looks like behind the vines. First off, it's a grass type and it's also a little shadow thing! Mafuyu says she likes her fishtank because it reminds her of herself. Second, the fact that its identity is obscured by tangled vines reminds me of her as well, as well as her draw to marionette imagery.

While I said I wasn't going off aesthetics, Mizuki has a strong drive to cute things so something cute and frilly like a sylveon is completely sensible for them! Aside from that though (yes I'm giving them two ideas), a leavanny would also be a decent bet. It's a seamstress bug that makes little leaf outfits for the smaller forms of its evolution line. While not as cute as a sylveon, I think it's rather cute and elegant itself.

Ena... My second least favorite character. My bias is about to show really hard but, smeargle. Smeargle paints. Ena paints. Lol.

I'm gonna send these here and there if you don't mind since I'm writing quite a bit for each one and I don't wanna make too big of a text wall!

OMG YES I absolutely don't mind at all and love this sm !!! I can definitely see it for all of them.....they all fit very well !!

#mod amia !#💫 anon #i wont add much bc i love this <3

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dutyworn · 8 months ago

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She shakes her head, slightly, looking away. TK doesn’t get it; she doesn’t belong here. She cannot belong here, not in the ways... Inherently, this will never be home to her.

She’s too exhausted to argue it, though. Quietly, she retrieves her dog tags; she makes sure to give him a soft look, an almost-smile, as she does so. As not to make it seem like she’s shutting the lid on the topic. As not to make it seem like she doesn’t want him to know. She’s not snatching them and hiding them away; she just wants them close, squeezed into her hand, against her palm & fingers.

Wren’s eyes follow TK as he gets up from the table, and she looks up at him, more openly vulnerable than she’s ever been around anyone, after; desperately wanting the hug, she lets him circle his arms around her, rest his chin on her shoulder, and sort of pulls him down so he ends up sitting on the chair next to her rather than across from her (she doesn’t trust her legs quite yet, to hold her). Some of her tension sort of melts from her, as he asks about her crew. The effort it must take, to look for something believable in her ramblings, to avoid addressing what he doesn’t believe. He doesn’t think she’s lying, she believes that if he says it. Does he think she’s been abused and brainwashed? That she’s delusional? Unwell? Does it matter? She was so scared of not being believed, but maybe what she was scared of was being looked at differently, after all. Exactly like he had assumed.

TK doesn’t look at her differently.

❝ I don’t need you to convince me that I’m welcome here, ❞ she says, a little choked, her face half pressed against TK’s shoulder. ❝ I couldn’t have felt more welcome, from the start. OK? It’s not that... You are family. We are. I know that, I feel that. ❞ But that’s different than feeling like she belongs. Not belonging comes from within her, from the wrongness of the world around her, from having been taken from her home. The 126 are family, and she doesn’t care less than she does for her lost family, on the Normandy, but belonging... is not possible. She doesn’t want TK to feel badly about it, though. Doesn’t want him to feel like he, or any of the 126, need to prove anything to her. She knows she’s welcome, knows they want her to belong. It’s more than she could’ve asked for, the best of a shitty situation.

Sort of clinging onto him for a second, she draws back, then, and puts her palms (rather, one palm, one half-closed hand still holding the military tags) to her face to wipe the remaining tears away and to cool down her skin. Runs her fingers through her hair before placing her hands onto her lap, fidgeting with the chain of the dog tags.

She actually smiles, then. ❝ Joker would fit right in, here. My pilot. Jeff Moreau, but everyone calls him Joker. ❞ Present tense. She’s not going to start talking about them in the past tense, not now. ❝ He got the position by hijacking a frigate. That was before we met; the brass tried to dismiss him because he’s disabled, so he stole the ship to show them his skills. Could’ve ended up in military jail, but no, he was just too good. Best pilot I’ve ever known, and he knows it too. Not a hint of fear for authority there. Yelled at me via open comms during our first big mission debrief, because he had to really work to get us out of there alive. Everyone else was horrified. We’ve been best friends ever since. Got banned from a fancy restaurant for life, once, the both of us. That was more on me, though. I fell through a fishtank. ❞ She laughs a little, the fondness and love she has for Joker unrestrained on her features. It’s terrible, it’s grief, but right now the love weighs heavier than that. She gives TK a smile. Her hands shake a little. ❝ Thanks for asking. ❞ She means it. Maybe this is something she can do. Bring her loved ones to life here, by simply sharing little stories about them. She’s not sure how it’ll work out with her non-human friends, but she’s... she’s not worried.

"Hey." That, at least, was something he had something to say about. With Wren in tears in front of him and the plethora of information TK just could not believe (despite wanting to) - with all of this it was a relief, almost, to be able to provide with absolute, searching certainty, "No. You do belong here, Wren." How could she think anything other than that?

With everything the 126 was - the family she herself had just identified - how was it possible she thought anything other than that she belonged here? He would die for her. All of these guys would. And she would, for them. She was theirs. God, how lonely had she been here, walking around thinking she didn't belong - how had none of them noticed, how had nobody seen? A worried breath in (turning this around in his mind, seeking where they'd missed the step they should have cleared in leaps and bounds), "And if we haven't said that, or made you feel that way? Then that's on us. 'Cause you've belonged here since you got here."

Team building was something he was good at. Being offered an opportunity to do this, to glue, to hold on with both hands, to let Wren know she was part of something and she was wanted there... this was not an opportunity he would have missed for the world.

The rest of it, though...

He listened all the way through, but TK just... he didn't have that grounding. And this wasn't how he wanted to handle this. He did not have the tools to handle it how he wanted to.

TK wanted to speak to Cap. These were... delusions, maybe, or... he didn't really believe that, not entirely? But what else could they have been? The truth?

... He wanted to speak to Cap. It was not... he would not be looking out for her, for Wren, properly, if he did not at least speak to Cap.

The quiet of the early morning stretched between them. This firehouse was safe. The kitchen had enough space for them, for the truth, for the information she shared. It was not too big to fit there. It was not out of place. TK just didn't know what to do with it.

She knew he could not believe her, and he knew he could not believe her, but neither of them moved anyway.

"We're family," he repeated, more gently somehow, before he slid out of his seat - "Hey." If she would let him, he would hug her. She looked like she could use it, bad. "Hey. You wanna tell me about your crew?"

#parameddic #family family family #; the winter pretends it's mild and holds her ❪ verse / crossover. ❫#; tk strand & wren shepard ❪ parameddic / connection. ❫#; parameddic / 011

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purplehoodiesimon · 3 years ago

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Are you still doing the drabbles? If so I would LOVE 45 for hand holding and 24 for kisses

Hand holding 45. comparing hand sizes, then linking fingers together

Simon's bed is so comfortable. Wille wishes he could live in it, surrounded by the soft glow of his fishtank and warm blankets that smell like Simon. It's so much nicer than his dorm room, the walls bare and gray even after a few years of living in it, and his room at the palace doesn't even begin to compare to Simon's room. Simon's bed feels more like home than anywhere Wille's ever known.

The boy in question is also on the bed, though he's sitting up next to Wille. The covers are pooled in his lap, his bare chest glistening in the low light as he ties his curls back. Wille's captivated by it, the sight of Simon flushed and glowing in this bed just as beautiful as the first time he saw it, if not more so. There's time between them now, long months of kisses and hand holding. There's strength, overcoming the pressures of the Crown to be together. And there's love, there's so much love between them.

"Hi," Simon says softly, smiling down as Wille moves his head into Simon's lap, drawing little circles on the blanket covering Simon's thigh. "I love you."

I love you. The words are spoken so easily between them now. Wille doesn't think he'll ever tire of hearing them.

"Do you remember our first time in here?" Wille asks, quiet and confident as he tips his head to look up at Simon. "I was so scared I was going to mess up and make things weird."

"You sure didn't act like it," Simon says with a laugh, brushing a few locks of hair off Wille's forehead. His hand lingers on Wille's face, following the lines of his cheekbones and lips, before slipping down to link their fingers together. "We've both grown up so much since then."

"Well..." Wille scrunches his nose up and untangles their hands, pressing their palms flat together. "I've grown up since then."

"Oh, fuck off," Simon says lovingly, laughing as he looks at their hands. "My hand is not that small, you overgrown giant. I'm 5'7", thank you very much."

"Tiny," Wille says, slipping his fingers between Simon's and pulling his hand closer to drop a kiss to his knuckles. "Absolutely miniscule."

"You love my hands though," Simon mutters, leaning down to kiss him as Wille laughs.

"I do," Wille confirms, dropping their linked hands to his chest, pressed over his heart.

Kisses 24. kisses for a cover (had to get a bit creative with this one, AU where they didn't meet at Hillerska)

Every Friday night since the first week of university, Simon's gone out clubbing with Rosh and Ayub. University is hard, and it's often the only thing that gets him through the long week of lectures and stuck up classmates. They come up from Bjärstad and he locks his dorm room, and they spend the entire night having fun and not thinking about socioeconomics.

Simon never drinks, sticking to his water and juice, but Rosh and Ayub don't have the same reservations as him. This particular Friday night at their favorite queer club, they've knocked back an entire row of shots and it's only midnight. He loves his friends, really, but after Ayub spills a second drink on him, Simon decides to leave them to their drinking contest in their booth. The line for the bathroom is a mile long, and Simon heads to the bar instead, seeing if he can get some towels to dry his shirt off. It's not his favorite shirt, but he'd like it with minimal alcohol stains if possible.

He's mostly dry again when a man slides up next to him, an uneasy feeling settling in Simon's gut as the guy leers at him.

"A pretty boy like you without a drink just isn't right," he says, stepping way too close for comfort. Simon shifts back, giving the man his harshest glare. "What do you want, on me?"

"I'm fine, thank you," Simon says coolly, tossing the rag the bartender had given him back on the bar and trying to step away. The man's arm shoots out, catching on his sleeve as he tries to convince Simon to stay. "No, really, I can't sorry, no I have a boyfriend."

"Really?" The guy looks him over again. "Maybe he could join us, I don't care."

"Nope, uhhh," Simon glances around frantically, and grabs the nearest stranger's arm, pulling him in. "This is my boyfriend, tell this guy you don't like threesomes, honey."

The man he's grabbed stares at him for a second and Simon stares back, trying to telepathically convey his frantic need to get out of this situation and hoping the stranger won't just shake him off. He's oddly familiar looking and Simon wonders if he's someone he's run into at this club before.

"Right uh," the stranger turns to the creepy guy, giving him a charming smile. "Sorry sir, my boyfriend's right, we're mutually exclusive. Leave or I'll have my bodyguards remove you."

Wait. Bodyguards?

Simon stares at the guy with a horrified expression, suddenly placing where he's seen him before. This is Prince Wilhelm, younger brother to the heir of the entire country, and the second young European royal to come out a few years ago after his cousin Henry in England. And Simon's just grabbed him and forced him to pretend they're dating. Oh god.

"You're dating the prince? No way, I just heard you talking shit with your friends about the monarchy." The guy stares skeptically at him and Wilhelm. Simon's not sure what's scarier—the way this guy's clearly been following him around or the way Wilhelm wraps an arm around Simon's waist, pulling him closer. Simon squeaks at the feeling, his face burning.

"As if I haven't shittalked my family on live TV before," Wilhelm says, laughing a little. "We're a bit of a recent development, there hasn't been an official announcement yet. I just can't get enough of him though, so there will be one soon, right honey?" Wilhelm says smirking as he says the endearment, and Simon thinks he might die when Wilhelm's fingers stroke his jawline, tipping Simon's chin towards him. The anti-monarchist half of him is screaming about how wrong this is, how much he hates the royal family. The queer half of him is melting into a puddle of goo at the way Wilhelm's eyes sparkle in the club lights, the soft smile on his face as he hesitates, silently asking for consent.

"Yea," Simon breathes, and he's not sure what he's agreeing too (if it's just the kiss or the promise of something else), but the panicked screaming in his mind falls silent when Wilhelm's lips cover his. It takes a second for him to jolt into action, but when his brain finally catches up with reality, he kisses back enthusiastically, flinging his arms around Wilhelm's neck.

When they finally separate (soon, far too soon) the annoying man has left. Simon laughs a little as he leans back against the bar, his hand reaching up to trace his lips in shock.

"You had no idea who I was when you grabbed me, did you?" Wilhelm says, smirking as he looks at Simon, who shakes his head. "Well, I'm Wilhelm, and I feel like I should know your name if I'm going to ask you out on a proper date."

"A date? Really?" Simon asks, finally getting his head screwed on straight enough to come down from cloud 9, and he shoots a flirty look at Wilhelm. "Who's to say I'll say yes, Wille? The royal thing doesn't do it for me, you know, you'll have to make a pretty good case."

"Good, because I hate people who are fans of me," Wilhelm says with a wink, and Simon thinks maybe dating a prince wouldn't be the craziest thing he's ever done.

"It's Simon. My name is Simon. And about that yes..."

Send me a number with the list type and I'll write a little drabble for it!

#ooooh i might have to turn that meet cute into a longer fic 👀#im having Ideas TM #young royals #young royals netflix #wilhelm young royals #simon young royals #wilmon #wilhelm x simon #prince wilhelm #simon eriksson #wilhelm yr #simon yr #simon x wilhelm #abc kais the alpha btch #asks

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lonelyapprehension · 4 years ago

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I'd love a matchup for Undertale or an ut au please if that'd be okay! I'm a female and I like girls but a skeleboy is also fine since this is just ut

I'm a gemini and I am 5'5 with shoes on

I like music, animals, crafts and memes

I dislike loud noises, yelling, crowds

I'm surprisingly pretty quiet and shy, I tend to be stuck in my thoughts a lot so I usually have no idea what's happening around me. I don't have a lot of friends so I get very excited when I meet people!! I'm a little sassy and I'm always joking around, I'm rarely serious unless I'm helping other people. I try my best to be selfless and outgoing bt

people do make me incredibly nervous. I'm usually in my room with music on and I've been doing lots of art lately! It makes me very happy but I have little to no confidence about what I draw so I tend to keep it to myself- I've been told I'm very creative but I tend to suppress it because I don't want to disappoint people with what I make. I take naps a lot and I like giving people hugs.

I'm a bit weird with letting people touch me? It makes me VERY uncomfortable but if I trust someone enough to date them I'd be fine curling up on top of them to take a nap 👉👈 I'm big anxiety and depresso but I forget I have social anxiety or convince myself I'm over it and throw myself into social situations and then go "o h n O how do I do this???????????"

into making art and into my relationships, I try to do things for my friends and talk to them about stuff that's bugging them as a distraction. I always seem to know when something is bothering someone and it tends to freak people out. If I feel someones upset or something is off I'll sit with said person and let them vent or just chill with them and being able to help makes me so happy! I have 3 geckos and would like to get snakes, tarantulas, and fish in the future ! I don't have fish rn though because I'd need Big Tank and filtration and heat and trying 2 clean a fishtank would MURDER my spine right now (scoliosis gang)

I do a lot of stuff to fuck with people. I have a list of stupid and feral things I've done that can be acquired. But one of them was that I made a meme themed monopoly 4 business class when I was in high school and managed 2 look my business teacher in the eye with a straight face as Barry b Benson sat there on the board. I had made little Pepe players n everything.

I went to his board a lot and wrote a good chunk of the bee movie script there

OK lastly I'm a science nerd (specifically biology and chem), I wanna be a nurse to help people and hopefully make a very stressful time a bit easier for people

I believe that nothing is permanent and I believe that with a bit of love and care anyone can be a good person 👉👈 I just think it's really important to be there for people and I hope I can make people feel loved. I make ppl friendship bracelets,,

I'm sorry this was so long!! I do be rambling

--------------

it's fine i type like the adhd person i am!!! rambiling is perfectly fine on this blog. we support rambling here

for undertale i match you with...hound! (swapfell? fellswap? my aus are mixed up my guy)

this,,,himbo. you have anxiety? he knows how it feels and will listen to you for hours man. legit anything. you wanna recite the bee movie script you madlad? go ahead. you wanna talk about your gekko gecko babies? he's there to listen. you just wanna ramble about nothing? about character arcs? about how annoying loud noises are?? he's there 4 u

and he's a not loud papy! so you get tall AND chill... sorry, tall, chill and knows memes. ooh baby a triple

he's perfectly fine if you don't wanna b touched at the beginning of the relationship. like he's understanding and will show you affection in other ways.

for percy jackson i match you with...piper!

look. we been done know she's super fine with the memes. she knows leo for heck's sake. she will wear whatever you make her. "but it might clash with your outfit" she doesn't care you made it for her and she will die with it on.

if she catches just a glimpse of your art she won't shut up about it for the next week. like on god. she wants you to know that it's awesome!!! art takes a while!!!! be proud of the grind!!!

she'll also be fine with the touch thing, and will also show affection in other ways. like those compliments? never end. ever. she loves you and wants you to see her how she sees you. she loves the babbbabbies too. she went to wilderness school of course she's fine with animals

#real talk tho can i buy that monopoly board #hound x reader #swapfell x reader #piper mclean x reader #pjo x reader #undertale x reader #app writes #submission

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the-strawzish-clownfish · 5 years ago

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3 (I absolutely *love* fish and I want to see what you'll pick), 5, 8, 11, 19, 20, 25, and the two you really wanted :)

honestly fuck you for being so nice yobi

1. Do you plan on getting any tattoos when you get older?

y e s and i will talk about them to no end

2. If you are what do you plan on getting?

I want a black and gray crow with a diamond in its mouth and holding an osiria rose in its claw. There are reasons for this but the most basic is i rlly rlly like crows and also I could talk about this way more (I literally wrote an essay on this for English today) but I’m not gonna bc I have Self Control (i said, you know, like a liar)

3. (s a m e) If you were a fish in a fishtank what kind of fish would you be and what tank decorations would make you happiest? (i’m gonna ignore any and all rules of what you can have in tanks for this bc i can and also i ain’t know shit about anything other than clownfish so)

The little. Idk what they’re called. The ones you find at Petsmart that are like orange

like that, no i don’t care if i die right away i wanna be colorful

OOH or a clownfish, black ocellaris ideally

if i were the petsmart one i’d like like. a spongebob house. i had one for a beta fish when i was little and he liked it and it would remind me of him (fun story i had thirteen fish from when i was about two to when i was about eleven or twelve, all of them but the last one died within four days, one was separated from its head on the second morning)

5. What’s your favorite flower and why?

Oooh so I change between various flowers bc adhd, but I really like osiria roses (you know, the ones that are mcfucking FAKE) because 1. they’re pretty 2. they are impossible to obtain completely naturally and 3. one of my ocs gets one from her best friend who then ends up breaking her heart (in a platonic way) and it’s kind of symbolic but the flowers kinda represent my many paracosms

8. Who’s your favorite artist?

idek man when i first started looking at art online it was Moonkitti and her art was what ended up getting me into drawing, so she’ll always have a special place in my heart. legit every time i look at art though i go “I WANNA DRAW LIKE THAT” so in terms of just stuff? no clue

11. Say that you had a dream catcher that actually caught dreams. What are some of the things we would see caught in it?

I do actually have a dream catcher my dad made for me when i was around eight or nine, it used to be above my bed but I haven’t moved it to my new bed yet so :( for a while I actually had NO NIGHTMARES. NONE WHATSOEVER. LIKE AT ALL. and i had nightmares pretty often before that, so i was really excited but it’s been years so i just have dreams now

anywho probably like fuckin. Mr. Deikres dreams. Worst nightmares I have ever had and even worse there were multiple of them (and i very very rarely have dream series). That’s a fun story and if you wanna hear about it then send another ask but I’m not about to make this even longer than I already have with my ranting

19. What’s something that you haven’t eaten yet but you really really wanna try it someday?

hmmmmm probably paella? it looks really really good and I’ve wanted to try it for a while but unfortunately I have no means of getting my hands on it and I cannot cook

20. Would you rather be a mermaid or a fairy and why?

fairy, i wanna see my friends and family and I won’t be able to do that as a mermaid

25. What’s your favorite genre for books?

gay

jk fantasy

#gay would be appreciated in the fantasy #however it is by no means a requirement #thank you yobi :)#strawzy answers #tw swearing #cw swearing

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d-structive · 6 years ago

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Each day who passes, I’m deader inside..

That’s why I’m doing this.

Tagged by @mexicanesecat

Rules: answer 21 questions and tag 21 people you want to get to know better. (make a separate post)

1 nickname: (This is not a question. Am I supposed to expalin to you the meaning of nickname or something, here? Be precise with your rules OP!)

Anyway....I wanted a nickname who was kinda representative of me, who wasn’t too edgy, or who wasn’t strictly connected to fandoms ecc...So I can re-use it without problems wherever I want. So I made a pun instead. Now I bring sass, chaos and destruction all over the internet.

(ALSO!

NICKNAME 1: A usually descriptive name given instead of or in addition to the one belonging to a person, place, or thing. 2: A familiar form of a proper name (as of a person or a city.)

You are welcome.

2 zodiac: Aquarius

3 height: 5′5” (I GUESS. I’m 1.67cm.)

4 last movie i saw: DeadPool 2

5 last thing googled: “Nickname meaning”

6 favorite musicians: ‪ Oh, boy...I don’t really have a favourite one...Queen are always a must, though. And I guess I like Disturbed right now. Oh, and as teen I adored Korn.

7 song stuck in my head: LESS THAN - NIne Inch Nails

8 other blogs: There’s only one blog. This one. And it is the worst.

9 do i get asks: Yeah, sometimes. I pass from total nothingness, to days when people send me lots of asks (not related to requests, I mean) and I dunno why.

10 followers: 2562?? Holy shit! Thanks guys!

11 following: 98

12 amount of sleep: Hahaha....Sleep...I guess I sleep something like...4/5 hours at night..I completely fucked up my sleep schedule and now I cannot sleep unless I’m dead tired. At saturday I sleep til noon, though. Try to wake me up and I’ll rip your spine off...

13 lucky number: ...I don’t have one?

14 what i’m wearing: Black sweatshirt and pants and a silly white shirt with a tuna who holds a tiny gun, who my sister gave to me.

15 dream job: I just wanted to draw, man. Is the only thing I can do, really.. Or I wanted to work in some acquarium shop....But things went downhill and now I’m stuck in some office 8 hours at day, doing a job I kinda hate and in which I’m not competent about. But I have four fishtanks and I draw to relieve the stress, though. I guess it’s something.

16 dream trip: I’m lazy and I dunno if I wanna travel a lot...But maybe I’d like to met some of my friends from other countries, one day...When I’ll get over anxiety and the fear of fly on a plane.

17 favorite food: I’m italian! Our food is all good. Probably pasta or pizza, though. Yeah, like a good ol stereotype.

18 play any instruments: Nah. Once I knew how to play flute...It was mandatory at school...Now I forgot everything...

19 favorite song: I honestly have no idea...My tastes change all the time...So, maybe for five years my fav one it’s a determinate song, the next day is another one...

20 random fact: I’m almost completely blind from my left eye. For this, I do not have depth perception.

21 describe yourself as aesthetic things: Probably that black mold who’s growing in the corner of your room’s ceiling. I DUNNO HOW TO AESTHETIC, OKAY?

I tag.... @kasper-the-ghost @obviouslypancakes @sambloom @van-arts @nataissalty @huffletrax and whoever wants to do this thing.

#fish shitpost #tag thing

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pinupgalore-lanadelrey · 6 years ago

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lake placid, aka era

LAKE PLACID

Yes, definitely. I was a different sort of child, as half the children are. They are or they aren’t. I was in that category of being free-spirited [laughs].

I go back now to visit my grandma and grandpa, but it’s not really somewhere I’ve spent a lot of time, not since I was 14. It’s beautiful. It’s a vacation destination. Olympics. It’s small, 2,800 people [laughs] it’s very different from here.

It was boring. That town is crazy, too. I was a bad girl, but I’m good now. I guess I have some bad tendencies. I don’t like to do hurtful things, but I am drawn to the wild side. I love riding motorcycles; I love rollercoasters; I do like adrenaline. But I’ve also found true happiness when I was living in New York and working with other people in that way that we’ve talked about. So, I don’t know. But I don’t feel at odds with it.

They didn’t have too much music around, but they actually both had really nice voices. My dad wrote country songs for fun, and my mom sang for fun. My dad liked the Beach Boys, my mom liked Carly Simon, but we didn’t really listen to them; we just put the radio on -- whatever would be on the radio.

I would write fiction on my own time, and I liked writing in school. I thought that was one of the less offensive school subjects, so that was fun for me. I transitioned to singing when I picked up the guitar. I’ve never been good at the guitar -- always been bad -- but it did help me write for the first four years.

I wondered if you wrote -- your lyrics are so narrative. They sound like stories. I’ve been in New York now seven years, and it’s been a really long road, so the parts of my life that I draw from lyrically are maybe the more dramatic segments of the time that I’ve been here. But they are all true.

Do you feel like you struggled when you moved to New York? Yeah, it was difficult, as it is for everyone. Maybe myself a little bit more, but that was my own fault.

SCHOOL

I didn’t live at school, I lived where I could and studied what I enjoyed studying. I took what I wanted from that education but was making my first record at the same time. I don’t know anyone from school. I was just leading a different life. I was really interested in writing and other things.

Lana Del Rey: I was social, just in a different way. I loved my teachers. I feel like kids can be hard to get along with sometimes and I don’t know anyone from my school I’ve been to. I’m sure they were nice.

Lana Del Rey: No, I didn’t feel ostracized. I just had different priorities. I was reading and writing. I was pursuing my own education [laughs] which paid off, I’ve learned so many different things.

What does metaphysics entail?

It’s not as complicated as it sounds. There’s different branches so it depends on which branch you’re studying. If you’re studying something like cosmogony, you’re studying about the origins of the universe, and how reality came to be reality. Like this space that we’re sitting in now -- how did we come to inhabit this place? And why this reality strikes us as it is. I studied that up in the Bronx.

Well, I lived in the Bronx for four years. I lived in Brooklyn for like four years after that. I always consider myself to have a serious street side, even when I was in high school. I mean, I was pretty crazy. Everyone I knew was really crazy.

I define myself eccentric psychologically but in the interviews that it’s often misunderstood. Maybe because my life had a lot of transformations, more transitions. My life has gone through various incarnations, mostly transitions. But I don’t consider myself to be someone very provocative or radical – I embrace a lot of traditional things. But I believe in alternative lifestyles and in alternative relationships.

Yes, exactly like Twin Peaks. I was hoping to get out and get to New York because that felt like heaven. I like going to the corner store and tell you that a man [in Spanish], “Hello beautiful, how are you? ‘.

_________________________________________________

I remember for the short time we lived together in NYC, I used to come home from work and see the entire wall of our studio apartment covered in weird tropical backdrops from the Party City store. There would be tinsel everywhere and streamers taped to the walls and I was furious because it looked like the most bizarre amateur movie set, plus I was worried for your sanity because I couldn’t see where you were going with all of it. Looking back though, your obsession with strange nick knacks and Hawaiian embellishments were like little hints of colors to come for future sounds and videos. Yeah, of course I remember those days. You hated my electric fishtank which gave me endless amusement. (She winks!)

For the record, I loved that fish tank, you gave it to me for my 19th birthday. I believe the inadvertant theme was ‘Chinatown.’ Now, I know you don’t love to talk about this because journalists have sort of mythologized your past but let’s talk about the trailer park you lived in for a few years- I shot you there when you were 22 and continued to shoot you there for a couple years while you were writing and entertaining and wrapping up your album with David Kahne. You were so sweet and happy that you had your very own place to write and reside in, and extra money from that $10,000 indie contract. It was also a sad time for you because you separated from Steven Mertens who had originally produced that record and who was your boyfriend at the time. I don’t really have to ask you this because as your sister, I think I already know, but would you say this was your most enriching time as an artist and happiest time in New York (despite the split from Steven.) [Smile] Yes.

Do you remember decorating David Kahne’s studio? I remember sitting next to a decorative Urn during one of your recording sessions. Even now, you’ll bring ribbons or bows or specific iconography to recording sessions. How important is it that your space reflects your personal style or headspace? I honestly haven’t thought about that in so long. I used to have to have some sort of talisman with me if I was writing. Something connected to the lyrics like a sparkle jumprope or a golden compact mirror- at the time it was really important. Now I have internalized so much of what I’ve come to love that I don’t think about it as much any more.

I loved New York. When I was there it was almost my sole source of inspiration, more than any other man, writer or rapper, but it’s harder for me to get around now. I used to take late night walks over the Williamsburg Bridge, go to all the 24 hour diners with $5 and beg the waiters to let me stay all night in exchange for the purchase of one giant slice of chocolate cake. I would sit for hours and read about interesting people like Karl Lagerfeld and listen to books on tape by Tony Robins to keep me company. I would take the D train to Coney Island, take the D train back to the Bronx where I lived on Hughes Avenue.

I did move into a trailer park when I made my first record. I got ten grand from Five Points Records and moved into Manhattan Mobile Home in New Jersey. And I was happy, because I was doing it for myself. There was a white trash element in the way there was a time that I didn’t want to be a part of mainstream society because I thought it was gross. I was trying to carve my own piece of the pie in a creative way that I kind of knew how. And I thought it was cool to be living by myself and working with a famous producer. I was excited about the future at the time.

Like when I was working with my first producer David Kahne and I was in that mobile home for two years. I was between there and Williamsburg and I had a boyfriend then. It was a very happy time.

I was doing open mic nights in the city with my guitar at Layla Lounge, Galapagos, where those places are open. Same place every girl singer was playing. One of many tragic Lower East side songstresses, oh dear! What must they think? And I met really nice people. Everyone in Brooklyn was doing a folk thing, and I was in that camp, singing sort of jazz. I entered a songwriting competition, I didn’t win, and one of the judges on the panel was an A&R man at a record label that had no other acts and I signed to them. We sent my demo out to five people and David Kahne got back to me that day, and said I think you’re amazing I want to start with you tomorrow. He was like my Harvard reach school, I couldn’t believe it. I was really excited. It was the first time anyone of any importance said I was good and I ran with that validation for a long time.

“I was always writing little songs, but nothing I liked then. When I left school I wanted to do music because I thought I was good at it and I wanted to do something that I loved. So my uncle taught me to play guitar and I did these little shows, just me and my guitar, singing and playing the five chords that I knew.”

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In her years in New York, working “odd jobs” and “helping out in the community, in alcohol and drug awareness programs” and playing the singer-songwriter open-mic circuit.

Just going to open-mic nights and things like that. It was mostly in Brooklyn. It was a folk scene. When I was 19, I signed to an independent record label. I was the only act on their roster, and then that record was shelved. After that, I still wanted to sing, but I started focusing on being an active member of my community.

In fact, she seems to be retracting more and more from public view, after buying a house in Los Angeles with her brother and sister.

There was an older song that you've never heard called "Pawn Shop Blues". [sings] "In the name of higher consciousness / I let the best man I met go / Because it's nice to love and be loved but it's better to know all you can know." Because I remember I'd met someone so special and famous but I knew he wasn't enlightened about how to be a good person. I knew it would get in the way of me becoming a nice person. That's a difficult choice to make.

How did you meet this famous person? Um, it was in a self-help group. [laughs]. He wasn't that famous. I justthought he was famous…

TV famous or movie star famous? Rock star famous. Just middle of the road ish. To me he was famous because I didn't know anyone who was wildly recognisable. I remember thinking it was exciting at the time.

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crystalkleure · 6 years ago

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Got tagged by @beypride!! Thanks, Luna!

1. Are you named after anyone? Not named after a person, named after a season -- Noel means “Christmas cheer”, I was born in December 🎄

2. When was the last time you cried? Ah...not too long ago because I’m sick and life blows lately, but I also lack any concept of time so idk exactly. Within the last three weeks I think.

3. Do you want kids? Absolutely not

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot? Not to be rude. I like to exaggerate and overdramatically complain about harmless bullshit for comedic effect sometimes though, if that counts. Like “Look at this Minor Inconvenience, it is the worst thing I have ever seen and it singlehandedly destroyed my entire life and danced on the graves of my ancestors.” I think I have a knack for making people think I’m serious and start wondering if I’m okay though, because I do it in a deadpan voice.

5. What's the first thing you notice about people? Attitude/current mood

6. What's your eye colour? Brown, but kind of light. Maybe hazel? Looks gold under bright lighting. Kinda cool tbh, I wish I could catch it on camera but any selfie I try to take just makes me look like some kind of ghoulish cryptid

7. Scary movie or happy ending? Scary movie!!

8. Any special talents? I am an artiste. I can draw the anime real good [with pencil and paper or pixels]. I can also make stuffed animals and sculpt a little bit, but honestly my True Talent lies in my apparent incredible ability to send people into a white-hot rage with my lame Attempts at Funny. I’m starting a rotten tomato collection, throw some at me. The fox mask is just Kyle’s low-budget fursuit.

9. Where were you born? Born and raised in Florida, which might explain literally everything about me

10. What are your hobbies? A R T. And screaming about Beyblade on the internet. And buying actual beyblades but then not using them because I don’t want to scuff them up. [Also contact juggling, though I’m not exactly stellar at it yet!]

11. Do you have any pets? Oh boy. Six cats, two dogs, two turtles, two goldfish. [I want another tarantula, and maybe some snails or something to drop in the fishtank ;-;]

12. What sports do you play/have you played? None, because all of my bones like to dislocate themselves when I try. I’m extremely hyperflexible and it’s actually a curse.

13. How tall are you? 5′1′’

14. Favourite subject in school? Public school was a daily torture session slathered in bacteria. Everyone was always sick and I have almost 0 fond memories of the experience.

15. Dream job? Something that’s at least slightly enjoyable and isn’t detrimental to my health I guess. [...My standards are literally just “don’t kill me and don’t kill my vibe and we’re good” apparently lmao. I’m not sure I want to try turning my hobbies into a job though, because being forced to do them might kind of make them not fun anymore? Eh. Really haven’t thought about it.]

Tagging: @novumoru @yutendont @silverfae16 @kittykittyhunter @ladyjeweldragon @sketch12artist @aishiikamii @emypony @lynneryon @raja-kaan and @littlepurplewakiya, if any of ya’ll want to do this! 👍

#T A G M E M E #I love these things!#I had no clue how many people to tag though so I just went to town sdxfcghcfdcf #About me yo

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3wisellamas · 6 years ago

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Character Creation Tag

Tagged by @the-golden-ghost

I...don't talk a lot about my OCs on here. ^^; But, for the purposes of this thing, think I'll rant about Kelly, since I just think she's neat. If you don't know her (and you probably don't), uh...think big blob alien.

1) What was the first element of your character that you remember considering?

To be honest, she kind of came out of me trying to think about how her species would really work, or especially how they'd interact with the humans that had taken over their planet, back when the plot happened after a SUCCESSFUL human invasion. Since I was still figuring out the characters in general I didn't have any aliens yet, it was actually mostly about the robots, so I just...made her up, to have a way of exploring that stuff.

2) Did you design them with any other characters from their universe in mind?

Admittedly, not really. She was just...some rando, a test character that I figured I would end up plugging into a tiny part of the story eventually, after finally coming up with it. Her having any real development or even being a major character wasn't a consideration for a while!

Heck, she still clashes with the non-gel characters a lot, kind of on purpose, to show how alien she is -- or, rather, how alien THEY are compared to her!

3) How did you chose their name?

Uh...picked it at random? ^^; Okay, I actually did have a thought process. I came up with her full name, Alkeli, first -- a little play on the word "Alkaline", since she's made of an extremely basic/low-ph material. Kelly was just a cute nickname for her that stuck.

4) In developing their backstory, what elements of their world played the most influential part?

Hoo boy, here we go. Like I said, she was originally a VERY inconsequential character that I was just using for playing with concepts, but then I changed the plot to deal with the consequences of a FAILED human invasion of the aliens' planet rather than a successful one. So, since the aliens were still top dog and actively trying to wipe out the few humans left, the human characters needed some leverage in order to survive. I reworked Kelly as a character with connections to both worlds -- she's an alien, but was raised by the humans. And I thought it'd be especially funny for her to technically be considered one of the main humans' "twin" sister as a part of that (I get a lot of joke mileage out of reactions to that little fact.)

5/6/7) Is there any significance behind their hair color/eye color/height?

Well, she doesn't have hair, so that's a problem. She also doesn't actually have eyes, though she does have fake ones as part of her translator device -- them being blue really isn't too significant, other than her dad just picking it because it's his favorite color. :P

Her height actually is kinda significant, though! Most gel who interact with humans do so via translator devices, which give them a "face" and shape them to look a tiny bit more humanoid as part of it, but they usually still stay kinda blobby and close to the ground. Instead, Kelly is super tol and intentionally tries to look more human-ish with hers, to show that she literally considers herself more human than gel.

8) What do you relate to within their character/story?

Let's see here. Zero social skills, doesn't relate to really anyone at all, and is often a jerk to others without realizing it? Check. Forced by her parents into their own future plans, with her own dreams pretty much disregarded? Check. Low-key wants to be an artist even though she has exactly zero talent? Check. Total weeb loser who mostly just hides in her room playing video games all day? Triple check.

9) Are they based off you in any way?

She might actually be the closest character in the whole thing to a self-insert. ^^; Which is saying something...

10) Did you know what your character’s sexuality would be at the time of their creation?

Nope. I still don't even know. Her species doesn't actually...reproduce, like at all (that's even a major plot point, since Kelly's birth and existence is VERY unusual!), but that's as far as I went in thinking about it. Like to think of her as ace/aro nowadays though.

11) What have you found is the most difficult art form in creating your character?

She's actually pretty easy to draw in my usual 2D cartoony style, but...I honestly have NO idea how she'd work in 3D space at all, so if I ever tried to render her in any 3D medium it wouldn't go well. ^^; And neither does anything more realistic either -- did I mention she's literally a mass of semitransparent goop? Trust me, I've tried. It doesn't work.

12) How far past canon events that take place in their world have you extended their story?

I typically have my characters' ENTIRE lives planned out. So...yeah. All of it. Not elaborating though, because spoil.

13) If you had to narrow it down to 2 things you MUST keep in mind while working with this OC, what would they be?

1. Even if she's pretty much a human culturally, she is NOT one physically. She works very differently from the other non-gel characters; she can only see in certain circumstances, for instance, and her other senses all work differently too, including ones humans don't actually have. Her physical capabilities are also very different, too, which I gotta keep in mind for the various shenanigans the cast get into -- if everyone has to jump off a thing she can't follow them, but if they need anything underwater they'd be stupid not to go right to her!

2. Her manner of speaking is also VERY different from the humans and robots, because like all gel she doesn't have a mouth and all her speech has to be translated -- can't slip up and accidentally have her use a contraction! (until the plot twist that she's totally faking it for reasons and CAN speak like everyone else, hehe...)

14) What is something about your OC that makes you laugh?

She's definitely one of the snarkier characters, always taking shots at my more ridiculous characters and plot points. ^^ Plus, take away her mask and she's...literally just a big angry blob of jello. That sleeps in a tiny fishtank. There's just something inherently funny about that.

15) What is something about your OC that makes you cry?

Just...a lot of her backstory, and how it shapes her attitude as an adult. I put a LOT of the shit I've been through into her, good and bad, and sometimes it's...a bit much for me admittedly.

16) Is there some element you regret adding to your OC or their story?

She can be TOO standoffish and aloof, REALLY taking after her father, and her character development goes along some pretty dark routes. It fits her, and is totally appropriate for her role in the story, but...unlike her dad, she isn't always a lovable asshole, and writing those scenes is NOT fun or easy, when she ends up making mistakes and hurting my other OCs and especially her family because of it.

17) What is the most recent thing that you’ve discovered about your OC?

Um... oO Not 100% sure what this means. The newest thing I added to them? Probably that she'd totally make a kickass spy if she actually went for it. She's definitely got the stealth and detective skills!

18) Favorite OC fact?

She considers herself a white hat hacker. Well, as long as she's hacking the people she cares about -- to her enemies, she can wreak a surprising amount of havoc, and is the main source of info on the villains' plots from all the data she steals from them early on in the story (and continues to be, as she starts decrypting it throughout...)

Tagging: Nah. If you wanna steal and gush about an OC, go for it.

#may...not keep this up long sorry #i'm not too comfortable gushing too much ^^;#even about this wip #emwrites

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