#i really need to revisit some stuff

[zelda-daily]

Announcement: GOAL!

Hi! So we finally made it to day 100 - the goal I set out to do from the start but had no idea if I could actually reach lol.

I made this blog in the middle of dealing with art block. I hadn't really been feeling inspired to draw or create much for about a year.

The longest I've ever lasted on a daily drawing challenge before this was day 3. Now that I've made it to day 100 and I'm finally starting to get ideas and inspiration again, I'm satisfied :]

This is NOT the end of the blog. Just a hiatus until the next art block, which (let's be real) will probably be sooner than later lol.

Thank you to everyone who's been following along so far. I really, genuinely appreciate all the tags and comments and familiar faces.

Until next time! <3

[queenlucythevaliant]

make your choice

Digory didn’t think much on making choices. The whole world would be over when his mother died anyhow.

Of course, this didn’t keep him from being curious or adventurous. It was exciting to meet new people, exciting to go exploring and to speculate about whatever mischief his Uncle Andrew was up to. Being a lively young boy was perhaps the best distraction from being a boy about to lose his mother.

Going after Polly was so obviously right that it might as well not have been a choice at all. What else could he do? It was easy to be righteous in the face of an evil old magician who said things like "Ours is a high and lonely destiny."

Yet once they were there in that rich, in-between place, with all the worlds there were splayed out before them— ((Make your choice, adventurous stranger)) Well. What sort of lively young boy would he be if he turned back now?

Digory could feel the bell’s magic ((strike the bell and bide the danger)) beginning to work on him. There was no use in resisting. He felt tendrils of magic sinking deep beneath his skin, laying claim to any free will he’d ever had. He said as much to Polly, but she wasn’t listening.

Polly said ((or wonder till it drives you mad)) that he looked exactly like his uncle when he said that.

Jadis’s whole world had ended. Everyone had died, and she’d just gone to sleep. She might have stayed sleeping forever if he hadn’t woken her. Sitting outside his mother’s sickroom, Digory wondered ((what would have followed if you had)) if that was really so shocking. Hadn’t he been preparing for just such an end? Were Charn and Mabel Kirke so different?

Narnia was not an end. It was a beginning.

And face to face with the Lion, Digory was forced to admit that the bell had not been magic. Nothing had caused him to strike it. Make your choice, the writing had said. Digory had chosen. 

I’ve spoiled everything. There’s no chance of getting anything for mother now.

The enormous Lion asked him, "Son of Adam, are you ready to undo the wrong that you have done?" and Digory sputtered his maybes.

"I asked, are you ready?" the Lion said again.

At that very moment, an ultimatum flashed through Digory’s mind. If I salvage your beginning, will you prevent my end? If make amends, will you save my mother? He thought of refusing, of holding his choice hostage until his future was secure. Could the Lion be bargained with? Could Digory twist his arm, as he'd twisted Polly's?

But what Digory said was, "Yes."

Jadis conjured such lovely visions of the future. His mother's face would lose its gray sheen and she would say, Why, I'm beginning to feel stronger. There would be no more morphia, no more of the terrible drawn look about her when she slept. She would rise from her sickbed, vibrant and whole ((Come in by the gold gates or not at all)) rise and walk to the door and fling it open and then Digory would go running into her arms. 

He gasped as though he'd been mortally wounded. Perhaps he had been in a way. After all, had the gate not said ((take my fruit for others or forbear))? 

Jadis ((for those who steal and those who climb my wall)) called Digory the Lion's slave. Years later, he would think back over all that those words implied. The Witch seemed to think that Digory had no will, if he was willing to subordinate himself to Aslan.

But was it not Aslan who made Digory realize his own culpability ((shall find their heart's desire and find despair)), and in the same breath gave him a way to repair it? Had not Aslan given his will back to him?

And at the foot of the tree, Aslan gave Digory his future back as well. 

He was old, but now he is young again, watching as the stars fall headlong across the black of the world-that-was. The world is ending at last, but Digory does not fear such things any longer.

[thedailydescent]

going off of what dwreader and ghostfoolish have been saying better than i can:

why do people think louis will still be a believable victim and it won't be racist if the show just has armand mess with louis's memories regarding 1x05 and how claudia died, and also be controlling him throughout the entire interview/relationship? like not only does it paint victims of abuse as unreliable and unstable, therefore not be trusted with anything*, but it also, just, shifts most if not all the blame from a white man to a poc? we've asking this the entire time, but they still don't have an answer for that.

*like statistically speaking victims of abuses' memories might be muddled/repressed from the trauma, so even though they know the abuse happened, people will use the fact that they might not be able to describe an entire fight in specific detail, or got some dates mixed up, or did not speak up sooner, to paint them as mentally ill liars, or even abusers themselves. which is why i think giving louis false memories in 1x05 is still victim blaming in a way, because it encourages the trend of victims not being believed.

[hecksupremechips]

The best feeling in the world is when there’s a piece of media you know you love and you’ve hyped it up as your favorite thing for so long but you haven’t revisited it in a while so you start to worry if it’s really as good as you make it out to be and so you go back and revisit it and it’s like. Oh this is even better than I remembered this shit rules

[waywardsalt]

anyways. holding linebeck gently

[qasian-tech-support]

Please ignore if I clicked the wrong blog to respond to.

But I also want new Megas and Protomen :(

RIGHT?!?!

I mean, yeah, the Megas also have their takes on Skullman's theme ("Cracked Skulls"; inspired by MM4) and Chill Penguin's theme ("Chill XMas"; inspired by MMX), and I guess there's also one based on Storm Eagle's theme ("Rougmer Storm"; MMX), but I haven't listened to that one yet.

Like, I get that they have a good story arc to cover the first 3 classic games, but it would be so cool if they explored some of the themes of the following games, y'know? Or flesh out the MMX or other series music! Or hell, pick and choose some Robot Masters and make a new narrative, or like literally anything, please, people are starving over here! And it's not like they aren't still active. Don't get me wrong, I love their Castlevania stuff under the Belmonts label, but it would be nice to get Mega Man content outside of just remixes/remasters of their existing songs. Plus, they're still doing concerts, so like the audience is there for it!

And as for the Protomen, I hope that they actually end up releasing Act III at some point. Having listened to The Fight, it makes me crave it to an unhealthy degree. I love the grimdark kinda take on Mega Man that focuses more on the role that humanity takes in all of the conflict. I feel like that angle gets extremely neglected in Mega Man media.

Idk, as a fan, it's just kinda frustrating how neglected mega man gets. Like, it feels like the rare times whenever we do get content, it focuses on the first three or four games (if we're lucky), and then it just dies off! Or goes dormant for a decade or more. The franchise has so much creative potential that just isn't realized and it's so sad!

[silentflashoflightning]

I was a little skeptical going into the movie because I loved loved loved the nimona comic and was Cary of the changes but having seen it. I do agree with people who say that they love the two both and for slightly different reasons. I still think I prefer the comic set-up with ballister presenting as a villain for years and working against the government (AND rapunzel ambrosius I miss your unsuitable for battle let loose locks) but I do also love nimona’s backstory and what it’s saying and the end did make me cry. so I guess living the best of both worlds

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

Since you've mentioned Scarlet Lady in one of your posts, what's your opinion on it?

I've mentioned before that I'm a big Scarlet Lady fan, which is the only reason that I'm comfortable answering asks like this one. I don't publicly criticize the content of hobby creators. That's wildly inappropriate! Punch up, not down.

The linked post was a general discussion of the adaptation process and how @zoe-oneesama did a fantastic job, so for this one, I'm just going to do some general gushing because I do actually like praising and enjoying things!

Scarlet Lady's chosen format (comic) allows it to have this wonderful conversation with canon where it can rely on the framework of canon to tell it's own story while also using canon for jokes and meta commentary. This means that Scarlet Lady is about as close as fan content can get to a direct reboot because it's able to have moments like this one from the comic's first post:

[Image description: Adrien standing in his room after transforming into Chat Noir for the first time. He is beaming and his eyes are shining with excitement as he exclaims, "This is gonna be awesome!"]

A single picture that communicates everything we need to know about Adrien getting his miraculous. When I've done this same thing in fanfic, I had to write out the full scene because that's how novels work. You have to give the full picture. With a comic, you can just quickly acknowledge this thing that we all already know and then move on to the new stuff. A picture really is worth a thousand words! (Or, in my case, more like two thousand...)

This allows Zoe to keep the same akumas that we get in canon without her story feeling like a boring rehash because she can focus on what's different in her version. A novelization of the same content would have to show both the stuff that stays the same and the stuff that changes for it to be coherent. That's a lot less fun to read and write. It's why I basically never revisit canon akumas in my own stuff. It's just too derivative for the written word.

This is one of the big reasons that I loved Scarlet Lady. Because it was able to have that more directly conversation with canon, it was able to take canon and say, "hey, why don't we embrace the tone that you established in season one and retell the story with that vibe?" That's something that I desperately wanted to see, but that is totally unsuited to my chosen artistic form. It couldn't be a novel. It had to be a comic.

If you want to know what a true formula show version of Miraculous would look like, Scarlet Lady is it. It does everything that Miraculous should have done:

Sticks to a lighthearted tone where nothing is ever super serious

Keeps Gabriel entirely unsympathetic

Has slow character development and background hints at a bigger plot as the only serial elements, allowing the individual episodes to be their own story while never feeling incomplete or rushed

Allows characters other than Marinette to shine while keeping Marinette as the clear main character

Makes Adrien narratively important

MAKES THE LOVE SQUARE CUTE SO I CAN ACTUALLY SHIP IT

Understands that Lila and Chloe can't coexist as antagonists

Reverses the love square, which is the best way to tell their story. Yes, I will die on my "love diamond" hill. It's a good hill. Come join me. I'll bring cookies.

I could keep going, but you hopefully get my point. While Scarlet Lady is certainly not the only way to do a formula version of canon, it's proof that a formula version does work! You don't have to go the serious route for Miraculous to be successful.

I want to take some time to gush about the ending, but I don't want to spoil it, so I'll put that gushing under a "read more" in case anyone hasn't seen it. I'll finish out this less spoilerish section with this:

I feel like some people are surprised when they learn that I love Scarlet Lady because - as some of you have probably picked up - it is quite different from my ideal version of canon. I'm not sure why that would stop me from enjoying a thing, though. It's important to remember that our personal ideals are not the only way to tell a good story. There are lots of ways to take what canon gave us and make something wonderful! It's part of the reason that I enjoy being in a fandom.

If I only wanted to see my ideal take on canon, then I'd stick to writing/imagining my own stories. But I don't want that! I like seeing alternate takes, too. Scarlet Lady is one of my personal favorites. It's completely different from anything that I'd ever think to write and that's why I'm so glad that it exists! I like being entertained just as much as I like creating my own entertainment and I don't want to only read stories that look like something I'd write. That's boring!

Spoilers below:

I've mentioned before that there are many, many ways to properly handle Chloe's character and Zoe did such a good job with her take on that! Chloe isn't absolved of all the things she did wrong, but she's also treated as a young woman with the ability to change.

While the comic bares the name of Chloe's alter ego, she was the never the main character. She never went on a journey. The story kept her to her shallow season-one self: a petty brat who just wanted attention. It did this because that's who Chloe was in canon and who Chloe needed to be for the comic to work.

The first time we see any complexity from Chloe is in the comic's final few episodes, which was absolutely the right call for Zoe to make! In a recent post, I talked about how the end of a formula show is the only time when you can break the formula in catastrophic ways and that's what Zoe did. She kept Chloe static until it was time to end the story and that's when the formula breaks. That's when Chloe gets depth because, once she has depth, the formula doesn't work.

That depth is not used to redeem Chloe, but to show us that there's hope for Chloe. That this petty brat who we've been dealing with has some serious issues and needs help. Help that she's going to get far away from the people that she's hurt because her issues aren't an excuse for what she's done. They don't erase the harm that she caused. At the same time, understanding her issues makes us hope that she can be better now and Scarlet Lady took a moment to give us that hope. To show us the START of Chloe's true story.

That is the kind of ending that I have wanted to see in so many properties!!! It was so wonderful to finally get one that did this right. A story that understood that full redemption to the team and damnation to death/suffering are extremes on a scale of possibilities. You don't have to go to extremes! You can fall in the middle and the middle is a perfect, natural place for Chloe to land in this kind of story. Fully redeeming or even fully damning Chloe simply doesn't work in lighthearted formula content. It's too big a lift as canon has already demonstrated.

I also loved Zoe's take on Emilie. I've mentioned that I don't like evil Emilie in part because it makes her revival feel like the start of a new story. She's back and she'd bad, so we have to take her down now! But I don't want that. I want the story to end when Gabriel is stopped. Zoe does this by giving us an Emilie that is another perfect middle ground. She matches canon's uncomfortable implications without feeling like a true villain who is a threat to society.

[cheemscakecat]

Fun/Interesting details in Expiration Date

Heavy knows that Pauling is calling them, and lets Scout be the one to answer. Also, road safety because he’s not distracted driving.

Medic is so hyped about tumor bread.

Hoovy smelling the sandwich and deciding it’s safe to eat [or that it doesn’t matter at this point].

Pyro standing like that. He don’t know what’s going on, but he’ll still be polite. Also, Sniper just chillin in the back with a poker face the whole time.

Medic smiles at Soldier as they walk past. Engineer’s got that Conhager death-cheating focus at the moment.

Spy’s eyes widen angrily when he realizes it’s Scout at the door and then he smirks like; “Oh hi! Twelve hours was enough time for you to get bored of my absence, then?”, not expecting a sincere apology [maybe one orchestrated by the other teammates, but not Scout].

There was some vitriol behind that “***”, look at his nose. He does not want Scout to gloat, try to prank him again, or give a fake apology. And that’s valid, since the team dying is something Scout should have taken seriously, and the last wishes handled with respect. He crossed a line that Spy doesn’t take lightly.

Dad, I threwed up. But in all seriousness, that’s the “My family is dysfunctional, and I don’t know how to be emotionally honest with people” posture.

See my bucket scene analysis for more on these two.

He didn’t say “You’re terrible with girls” in a snide or smug tone, he said it with like actual parental concern. “Scout, no you have three days! Do you want to die rejected or die before you can enjoy being together? No. Don’t do this to yourself.”

Look at that cup, he did not need a refill. This fake smirk and disinterest is Spy’s way of checking how serious Scout is about this last wish and taking his advice. And when he goes “This never leaves this room” Spy perks up.

Medic was taking a sample of bread tumor puss [or injecting it with something].

They have a whole entire wrestling ring, how did I never notice that?

This is one of those multiple choice questions where you can choose more than one answer and have it be right. But the chicken in combination with the other options looses you points, and just taking the chicken is like the token wrong answer.

Spy sighs when he realizes Scout chose just the chicken. Like chile, I gave you multiple options and you still went with your go-to that doesn’t work!

This room has a gym floor, which implies Spy took a bunch of fancy stuff from one of his rooms just for this date training. Also shoutout to the other teammates for helping with this.

Okay, so most of these decorations came from Pyro, who Scout is terrified of. Archimedes came from Medic, who Scout also doesn’t want to make angry, and the grass cutouts are potentially part of the base camouflage. But that disco ball? That belongs to Scout, he just doesn't want anyone to know he’s real into that. [The team would not judge, but his brothers would, so.]

Man when he gets his heart broken, I hope he finds the right girl for him. He deserves better than Pauling always making excuses to turn him down instead of telling him like it is.

Foreshadowing Solly being romantical towards Zhanna. Look at this content man.

Spy holding his knife like this. There’s no reason for it to be a threat, so he’s just genuinely in the habit of doing this while listening. Or while nervous, which also makes sense.

[bewareofthenewphannie]

their faces lighting up when they realise she's a fan-

transcript under the cut

Raven: I have to admit, so I was a huge Dan and Phil fan when I was, I mean always been a fan, but like a huge fan when I was in like high school and middle school.

Phil: Yeah.

Raven: And then I feel like I hiatused at the same time you guys hiatused.

Phil: Really?

Raven: I like got a job, I like graduated college and stuff. And then I went back and revisited your videos after you announced the tour, because I had that experience.

I was like, oh, they're coming to Brooklyn. That would be fun. That would be nostalgic. And then I like stayed up until two o'clock in the morning watching you guys' videos the next day.

Dan: I’m so sorry.

Raven: I was like, oh, here we go again.

Phil: Welcome back. I'm sorry.

Dan: I think it’s amazing that-

Raven: So that experience though is so real though. Like, yeah.

Dan: It's like, I obviously took a break from doing it because I'd done it for so long. I was so like immersed in it mentally and emotionally. I felt like I'd burnt out a bit. I needed some time away to kind of work out who I was to do some other stuff.

And I think that that's just a part of growing up that a lot of people found themselves as well. And now that we just decided on a whim to try coming back, and then we just were not expecting this many people to go, ‘I didn't know that I needed this in my life’.

Phil: Growing up with them as well. So it's like people can come back to our videos and be like, oh yeah, like this is still for me.

Dan: It's like I never left.

Phil: It's like we never left because we've grown up as well. So that's the cool thing about it.

[darqx]

HEEEY MACARENA (ALRIGHT!)

Here's some long overdue BP and HH asks :) I tend to combine the two since there's not as many as the RADs, so this starts with BP and then moves into HH/Gen qs.

BP

MUAH ~ (I actually doodled this some time last year for fun and whimsy, based on those long mouth kiss meme pics XD)

A very quick overview of these types!

Vescordem: Maneaters/cannibals, excessively tall and strong.

Aleores: Minor dealmakers (goods and services). Jaw can unhinge and has venomous bite.

Sollicio: Major dealmakers - soul stealing ability. Often very good looking, has ichor powers.

Voxter: Ability to project 'thoughts' into someone else's mind - you ever have an intrusive thought? Same concept. All have a unique mark across the top part of their face.

Caumacies: Maneaters/cannibals, very strong. Has a third eye which sees only in heat vision - rarely opened simultaneously with normal eyes.

Hmm M or MA15 i think 🤔

You know, i actually have an idea for a game that has nothing to do with anything I'm currently doing XD One day i'll actually have time to make it, maybe. But anyway currently my actual project is i'm planning on making a comic \o/

I AM PLEASED TO ANNOUNCE that i have thumbnailed like 70 pages of this bloody thing and i'm still only in the first quarter of the planned chapters lol OTL Once i finish thumbing the chapter I'm on I plan to go back and render the pages properly before starting to post them :D

...which should hopefully give me a buffer as i repeat the process for the next chapters |D

You know, the concept of my characs being comfort characs for someone will never get old for me. It just tickles me pink ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ This answer will have two levels to it.

It's fine to RP or ask blog with Rire - he's one of my more "known" characs thanks to BTD so as long as credit is given (and it's made clear I'm not running the blog so it's not canon) then it's cool.

I'd prefer if no ask/RP blogs are created for any of my other BP or HH characs, as they are not as known yet. This may be revisited once i actually get the BP comic out but for now it's a no, sorry! (Though, if you are RPing in like...a private Discord with other friends who know who the characs are then I'm a bit more lenient with that.)

The reason for the BP/HH level is that ages ago when I had started establishing my own characs more, I randomly happened to find a forum where someone was RPing as Izm and .D but no one else knew who the characs were and so they clearly thought the RPer was the original artist and creator. Said RPer was not dissuading anyone of that notion. That has stuck with me for forever because at the time i never anticipated that someone would...actually try and do that with an OC. Like, bro srsly?!

One pet peeve for everyone:

.D: Willfully stupid people

Izm: .D smoking. He could care less if anyone else smokes but .D is not allowed on his watch

Marcus: Having decisions made for him without his input

Zeke: "How's the weather up there?"

Wei Ren: When people think he can't understand English cos he has an accent and so they deliberately speak slower and louder

Geez Caleb why are you damn RUDE

Here's one i prepared earlier! 😌

I'm not sure why you included Marcus as a demon, he's a human lol.

HH/More Gen

There are clubs which are created by students but need approval from the adults to exist.

HH is one of the better boarding schools which generally turn out successful alumni. The "obvious problems" we see are not actually obvious lol.

He doesn't need such manipulations.

Thanks! I hope you are inspired to go forth and create stuff! :D

One of the only perks of being a prefect at HH, really :d

Absolutely not lol

↓

4. These types of qs are always amusing to me only because you guys expect me to know but i absolutely do not XDD. Do normal people actually have a fave animal?? I dont even have a fave animal!! Anyway offshoot aside sorry that i can't even randomly assign anything, but if you are interested here is what they might be AS animals lol.

They actually don't have names because they were randomly designed NPCs i drew as like, placeholders |D;

Not including Rire or Nurse Isla:

.D is asexual, Izm is bisexual, and everyone else is straight probably. Caleb and Desmond are violently straight (as in Des is like very 90s stoner bro adamantly vocal about being straight and Caleb will actually try and break your neck for insinuating anything).

I have some female characs but I dont draw them that often as they are more side characs in BP and HH. The ones ive's drawn at least once are Isla (who looks like this, also doodled above), Tish (Des's sister) and Kenzie and Kelly (Zeke's sisters).

Every once in a blue moon i get an ask saying this but whenever i go to check nothing is wrong, so...nothing is wrong they do work |D; As the age old tech saying goes have you tried turning it off and on again? :d

Aren't those kind of things supposed to be...based on yourself??

[elitadream]

Hi guys~! ⛅👋

Long time no see! Much longer than I ever intended, in fact. Truth be told, I wanted to make a public post sooner, but I've had a lot to catch up on in terms of notifications and messages since logging back in a few days ago. I've also made some changes that I will address shortly, but first of all I wanted to thank those of you who have reached out with so much care and understanding during my absence. Adjusting has been a slow and fragile process for me -still is-, and I sadly haven't responded directly to everyone yet because of it, but I wanted to say how much I appreciate your patience and support nonetheless. 🥹 🙏

Long story short, I was gone for five months due to a huge burnout, then progressively found my spark again somewhere along the way and have since mostly recovered. It was my wonderful friend @drones-of-innocence who reached out to me outside of Tumblr, and her sense of initiative is largely the reason why I managed to make this post in a somewhat reasonable delay. 😅💖 With that said however, I must also mention that I've deleted a lot of stuff from my page and have removed most of my work from the public eye as well. This may seem quite drastic and frankly a little unsettling, but I assure you that it was a thoroughly considered and reasoned decision! The thing is that I was still getting lots of notes on these drawings everyday and… To put it simply, I didn't want that anymore. 🙇‍♀️ Experiencing popularity was very detrimental to me in the long run and I needed to put an end to it for the sake of my own wellbeing; at least for now.

Which brings me to my next point.

After mulling it over for a while, I've decided that I would not be returning as an active creator in the Mario community this time around. 👐 Making fanart for this franchise (with such a high and continuously maintained degree of involvement) had a lot to do with my health's decline and I've come to realize that I wanted to direct my focus elsewhere going forward. For that reason, there are things which I know will never be repeated again in the future, both in regards to my art and online presence in general, but that's alright. Things change, as they do and should. I'm looking forward to reuniting with folks and would be very happy to stay in touch with those of you who wish to message me privately. Like my lovely pal @istadris said, what matters most about any fandom are the friends you make in it. ☺️

And speaking of which-

@ody-and-fanatu That's so sweet of you, thank you! 💗 I'm glad you've enjoyed my contribution to the fandom. It was fun while it lasted! 💫 My visual ideas may be gone from my page, but most of my written posts and replies are still there for anyone who wants to revisit those at least, so there's that! And I'd also like to answer some of the asks I still have in my inbox at some point. Knowing that you hold my art in such high regard makes really happy! 🥰 Unfortunately, the other account that I have is reserved for my professional work and I prefer to keep them separate from one other, but the good thing is that I intend to go back to this blog occasionally. Hoping to see you around! Cheers! 🥂

@heiressofdoodles Thanks, I appreciate that! ✨ I'm honestly doing much better than I was earlier this Spring. Back then, I was running on empty and on the verge of crashing without even knowing it. Being in constant physical pain was one thing, but feeling mentally and emotionally drained on a daily basis was another entirely, and something had to be done. It took me a moment to really figure out what was wrong, but thankfully I realized very quickly what was causing it and applied the breaks with all my might. One of my main priorities now is to be more alert and respect my own boundaries to make sure that this never happens again. 🥲

@keakruiser Thank you. 🙏💐 I'm just glad to have found my footing again. Feels good to be able to create freely.^^ Hope you're doing well too!

Special thanks also to @pianokantzart, @jelly-fish-wishes, @katlyntheartist, @triniji and @wahooitsamee for their kind words. 🫂 Your graciousness and consideration means a lot to me. 💝

As for all the nice people who sent me anon comments and well wishes, I tried to summarize my thoughts as best I could in this update, but if there's anything else you'd like to say or know, don't hesitate to ask me anytime! Now that I feel like myself again, I think I'm gonna hang out on Tumblr for a little bit. I'll be excited to see what you guys have been up to in the meantime! 🤗 Wishing you all a very good day and pleasant Fall. 🍂

-elita 🌸

[so-i-did-this-thing]

I really admire how cool you are sharing pre-transition photos. I'm not sure if I could.

Kid photos are easy for me to share, even though there's some traumatic memories attached, because I had no agency. And time has made it easier for me to laugh at stuff like the hair and glasses.

The photos that are tough are ages 19-33, because this was my stalled period between coming out and starting HRT. Trying to transition slowly for my family was a huge mistake and you can definitely see I was dying inside in those photos. That pain is still pretty fresh and why I don't share them as much, even though a lot are of me in fun cosplay.

Sharing old photos is a very personal thing and no one should feel obligated to do so. But I do think it's important to revisit old pics to remind yourself how far you've come. For me, it also helps me reconcile some of my lingering gender dysphoria and internalized transphobia. And over time, I have forgiven myself more and more for not transitioning sooner.

It's very important for trans folks to achieve some kind of peace with their past selves, but that is a different journey for everyone. And definitely not needed to be done in public, for so many reasons.

[noosayog]

[parking ticket] ft. sawamura daichi 

wc: 1k

contents/warnings: fem! reader, reader is referred to as ma’am, timeskip characters. for the sake of story, let’s pretend the Miyagi prefecture parking rules go by the same ones in the States but Daichi is not an American cop because acab till I die!! 

A flash of light catches your attention when you look up from your phone from inside your car. By meter for the spot you’re currently parked in, is a cop who is tapping away at his little device, looking between his device, your car, and the meter that is currently flashing red. 

“Wait!” you say frantically, exiting your car. 

The cop looks up. When you meet his eyes previously hidden by his cap, they linger a bit on you before he levels you with an unimpressed look. 

“I just got here! I was planning on paying.” 

“Ma’am, I saw you pull into this spot before I circled around the block. And now, it’s still not paid.” 

You cringe. When you had pulled into the spot, 10 minutes early for your scheduled manicure appointment, you figured you could just kill time in the car. You were scrolling through your instagram feed, looking for nail inspo when you noticed the cop. 

“I was in an important call!” you fib. 

The cop puts his device down, and props his hands on his hips. You inappropriately take note of his broad shoulders and square jawline. His unimpressed gaze remains as he tightens his jaw. 

“You could have just paid the meter then went on with your call.” 

“It really was important! So important that I needed to get on the call the second I parked.” 

He picks up his device and continues tapping, eyes now darting down to your license plate. 

“Please, please! I swear, I plan on paying! It was just a couple of minutes,” you beg. 

Tap, tap. The device spits out a little piece of paper and he rips it from the jagged teeth of the mini printer. 

“Fine!” you say, storming over to where he’s standing. You quickly insert some coins into the meter, jabbing them in with your thumb for good measure. “I was on a call with the hospital because I just found out my grandma has stage four metastatic breast cancer, so if that warrants a ticket, then leave it on my dash, asshole!” 

With that, you walk swiftly away, both frustrated and impressed with your own quick thinking. 

You’re pleased to find that after your manicure, there is no ticket on your dash. 

You squash down the slight guilt you feel when you instead see a little note with a simple “sorry about your Grandmother” scribbled on. 

– 

It’s a couple weeks later when you revisit the nail salon for some regular upkeep. You pull into a spot and quickly exit your vehicle to feed the meter. You didn’t want to take your chances in this same area, knowing there’s potential for a certain cop to be patrolling. You’re waiting at an intersection when a tap on your shoulder gets your attention. 

Turning around, you find yourself not surprised to come face to face with the same handsome cop as the other day. 

“Hey, nice to see you again,” he says. 

“Oh, hi. Yes,” you nod pleasantly. 

He takes off his police cap and tucks it neatly between his arms and torso. Even with his face half covered, you knew he would be nice to look at, but with his cap off, you get a full view of his gentle brown eyes and cropped black hair. 

“How’s your grandma? I’m sorry I was being such a hardass that day.” He rubs sheepishly at the back of his neck with his free hand. 

“Oh,” you smile a bit. “She’s fine. I lied so you wouldn’t give me a ticket,” you say breezily. 

The light at the intersection turns green. 

“See ya around!” you wave and start walking. 

You get a couple of feet before the officer falls into step with you. 

“Hold on a sec. Are you saying your grandmother doesn’t actually have cancer?”

“Nope.” 

“First of all, you shouldn’t go around lying about stuff like that, what if you speak it into existence?” 

You shrug, “both my grandmothers are already dead, so…” 

“Oh…” he says awkwardly. “Sorry to hear that.” 

You laugh again at his shifty eyes. 

“What’s the second thing?” you ask. 

“Hm?”

The two of you continue your leisurely stroll, side-by-side. You’ve already passed your salon, but you figure another lap wouldn’t hurt. 

“You said ‘first of all.’ What’s second?” 

“Ah,” he nods, sticking his hands in his pocket, relaxing his gait. “Second of all, why would you tell me you lied? I still have your license plate.” 

“Well,” you pretend to ponder, a mischievous smile growing. “Are you going to give me a ticket, officer?” 

He smiles too. “Depends. You might have to pay me back in some other ways.” 

“That sounds oddly inappropriate given your position in law enforcement,” you joke. 

“How about a date?” 

You startle a bit, not expecting a straight shot from someone who seems very, well, reserved. 

“You don’t even know my name,” you qualify. 

“I do. I looked up your registration.” 

You stop to face him, mentally noting the number on his badge. There, if he was creepy or weird, you could report him or something. 

“I'm free tomorrow night?” 

“Perfect, pick you up at 7?”

“You don’t even-” 

“I know where you live. Registration, remember?” 

“This feels like a misuse of government resources.” 

He leans in a bit, close enough for you to feel his minty breath on your cheeks. “May I?” he whispers.

Dazzled, you nod. 

He gives you the lightest kiss on your cheek, before taking one large, respectable step away. “My name is Sawamura Daichi. I promise I won’t do anything weird with your information unless you deserve another parking ticket in the future.” 

“Hey!” 

“I’ll see you tomorrow night, then,” he says, fixing his cap back on his head and giving you a cute little salute before walking back the direction he came from.

[thefirstknife]

Feeling abnormal about Echoes continues. Apologies for the scrunchy screenshots, it's from a recording. Immediately starts with Saint and Osiris killing me on the spot:

A little bit of comedy to ease on the crying:

Help. Osiris obviously doesn't want to do this because like. He's seen this before and it made him very unwell. Seeing Saint's dead body is very clearly not something he wants to experience again, but Failsafe says that Saint needs him so he goes anyway. Yippee.

Then the answer to my question. Nessus basically holds an archive for the Vex which includes the archives from the Forest, which is where we're going. I expected something that doesn't require lengthy explanations about how we're getting to the Forest. Saint even helpfully asks:

Some more info:

This is a really neat explanation that migth allow us to revisit this some time without having to go through the hoops of complicated shenanigans with what happened to the original Forest (and Mercury). But also it does leave me with the feeling that they may just never give us that answer. This will take me a while to process and come to terms with.

More interactions to kill us:

And then the big room. I'll put it under read more because damn:

From above where you enter:

It's a whole new area. It's absolutely bizarrely filled with a lot of details. There's four gates to the Forest, each designed differently. Spent a long time wandering around trying to figure stuff out and it's quite interesting. Makes me feel like we will use this area for something again because this level of brand new designs only being used one would be very strange.

So this one without the actual blue barrier:

This is the "Nessus" gate. When you gate closer, you can see the new plants from this episode and stuff. It's also used at the end of the mission to leave to the core of Nessus. The other three gates have the barriers and they later open, though we can only enter one of them. The one from behind that's basically the last you can actually see... Is Europa:

The snow? The ice crystals? The blue ice streaks? This is completely new. It looks like a gate leading to Europa. When it opens later, the enemies that come out of here are the normal Vex, which you can also see on Europa. I'm saying that because other gates have Vex associated with what the gate looks like. This is unhinging me. What does this mean. It can't just be a random thing they made to use once. There's no way. Bro...

And then there's this one which is the one we use to get to Saint's tomb; it's a gate leading to the future:

VERY interested in the enemies that come out of there. Obviously Descendants aka future Vex, but that also includes WYVERNS. Which are the first Descendant Wyverns we've ever seen:

And there's this one which I couldn't originally place; it looks too similar to a lot of other stuff, including Nessus itself, but I thought it might be Black Garden or Venus. Turns out? Black Garden. When you fight in the center later, Sol Divisive Vex come out of that gate.

The Europa and Black Garden gates fully open when you start the fight and they let the Vex out; as I said, normal ones from Europa and Sol Divisive from the Garden. Then when they're cleared, the future gate opens too and there come Descendants. The other two gates remain open but you can't access them; there's a firewall. Let me in.

In the future gate, there's the worn down corridor and then directly after it is the tomb.

And then the tomb.

I highly recommend doing this yourself or checking out a playthrough for all the lines because I can't feasibly summarise it all. Osiris and Saint show up and Saint interacts with the body, then experiences its memories and finally realises that every Saint is equally the same Saint. He also gets the information on how to find the Conductor. But before that we're treated to emotional damage about Saint and Osiris. Primarily Osiris' incredible worry and also trauma which more or less sends him crying which is fine and okay (lie). Like it's not actually sobbing on screen, but it's very much implied in how he moves and the way lines are delivered.

Okay I guess! How about we all jump into lava! Just to make it clear, Saint's last thoughts before he died were of Osiris. And in Immolant, when Osiris thought he would die, his last thoughts were of Saint.

But there is one where Osiris finds happiness. He finds a time away from strife. He finds Saint—a dream of warm serenity. The peace to his purpose. With Saint, there is a future that could have been enough.

So we're all jumping into lava, right?

Outside we fight Agioktis, except this time it's "Archived Mind" aka the archive of the Martyr Mind, the Vex that killed Saint originally.

Then we move on into the planetary core which reveals... certainly a sight. Of something that looks like an alien civilisation, with like a garden and also a HUGE pyramid inside of a artificially made Vex crater. And that's inside of Nessus. And now we know what they meant in the showcase when they said we'll be exploring an ancient civilisation.

I am unhinged. We don't even get to see more because the cutscene starts when you move forward and then we get the beautiful cliffhanger that will make me the most normal Destiny fan for the next 3 weeks.

Maya explains that she's here because we all suck apparently and she wants to fix the world by using Vex radiolaria to essentially convert everyone and everything into a "better" form. She's having a normal one.

Radio message is more or less a recap on all Veil Logs for people who didn't listen to them and the lore page, which randomly now isn't on Ishtar yet even though all others were available right away is about... well. Maya and Chioma living together in the Vex network peacefully and lovingly until the page break and we see the Conductor experimenting by doing open surgery on Exo Chioma. Very normal. very fine. But I guess now we know what that Exo thing from the trailers was.

Now we have to wait 3 weeks.

[remnantglow]

What would you like to see more of [in speculative fiction] in the next 10 years?

Amal El-Mohtar: That’s such a good question, the next 10 years. You know, I’m aware that when I find myself wanting to answer this, I don’t want it to come from a place of nostalgia. And I’m aware of the fact that I’m at an age where some of the things that are delighting me, the most are things that revisit stuff from my childhood in, like, weird, interesting new ways. And I know that I’m at the age where I’m being marketed to by that specifically. So seeing Interview With the Vampire delights me. Seeing X-Men ’97 delights me. But I don’t want to be pandered to in that specific way in the next 10 years. I don’t know if this is too froofy an answer but I really want to be dazzled and surprised, you know? To me, wanting to see more queerness means not just box ticking categories of, like, how many chocolate box kinds of queer can we see in a book representation-wise. I’m really interested to see books that queer shit, like queer as a verb. Maybe that’s what I’d say, I want to see queer as a verb more in books. I wanna see genre boundaries blurred at the same time that I wanna see really unapologetic deep dives into genre furniture to be like, give me the most melodramatic shit. Give me, like, the most maximalist iteration of the genre that you want and stuff. I think I just wanna see a lot more unabashed… something that is activating and lovely. It also feels very selfish and inchoate to say I just wanna be dazzled. I wanna be charmed. I think she also wanna see just, like, more I would love to see more SF digestion of other modes of writing. How can I put this? I just I wish I want people to read outside of genre so that they can bring into genre things that are exciting in other places. I wanna see cross-pollination. I just wanna see people being dazzled and excited by other stuff and then, like, bringing it in and exchanging. That’s where I thrive, I find. That’s why people get mad at my column a lot because it’s like, ‘where’s the science fiction and where is the fantasy?’ And I’m like, it’s here, it just looks different. It just looks different than what you have read.

from Eighteen Authors, Two Big Questions: What Is the Best Thing Happening in SFF Right Now, and What Do We Need More Of?