#i really need to go back to tma and try to get into it sometimes

[thosetrollkids]

going to reread @beannary 's TMA fic later cause its self care <3

[nikaandtea]

poolverine hcs!!

as i wait for art block to pass, take some poolverine brainrot because i need an outlet!

slight cw for mentions of vomiting, panic attacks, and a bit of stabbing.

The first night that Logan stayed at the apartment he insisted to both Wade and Al that he wouldn't be there longer than a week. Wade kept trying to buy him a toothbrush, assign him a towel, and even got him a separate razor. Logan was stubborn, and kept standing his ground on the fact he was about to move out soon anyway. But then Logan starts restocking household items after he started doing jobs with the TMA. Wade noticed that the fridge was almost never empty, and the laundry detergent hasn't run out in months. Logan started looking after Mary as well, and always denied any sort of attachment to the dog. One day, Wade notices the third toothbrush in the sink (which was usually the flimsy travel ones) changed to a regular one.

Wade is really physically affectionate, and that is not news. Logan isn't, and when Wade can't take the hint he gets a stab to the forearm. At one point, he actually does stop. Just for a day, Wade is too preoccupied with his own thoughts to nag Logan like he usually would in the morning. Logan notices. Logan notices, and misses the rush he felt when Wade would try and hop on his back while Logan was looking inside the fridge, or the taze into his side because Wade fucked around and learned the Wolverine was ticklish. So when Wade is reading something on his phone, ignoring all his surroundings on the couch Logan sits down. He sits down and presses their knees together. Wade initially flinches and opens his mouth for a snarky remark, which is cut short by Logan impaling him in the thigh. Mixed signals.

Logan regularly has nightmares about the X-men dying in his universe. He wakes up in a cold sweat and a racing heart from the images his brain forces to replay. Usually he walks about the dark living room and waits for a bit until he feels the panic subside. Sometimes he gets a drink from the kitchen and lets the buzz help him fall back into sleep. One of these nights just as he recovers, Mary bumps into his leg. Knowing she usually sleeps with Wade, Logan looks up from the floor as he sat on the couch, his breaths shallow and uneven. Wade doesn't question him, he gets Logan water and just sits next to him. Wade touched Logan plenty, uncalled for and vise versa. But Logan never forgets the long forgotten bloom in his chest that formed when Wade cautiously wrapped and arm around Logan.

Wade for sure has eaten a dishwasher tablet 'for science'. Logan watched him go through all stages of grief as he spit it out, tried to rinse it, foamed the chemicals further, and inevitably vomited. Logan made fun of him for a week and then made a deal with Wade to switch to powdered detergent.

Mary likes Logan better, you can't keep her away. Wade is jealous, and Logan knows it.

The apartment gets really cold in the winter. Al always gets to the only warm blanket before Wade ever can, and Logan didn't realize there is such an issue in the first place. Of course, he finds out in the middle of the night just as Wade begins to drag various throw blankets into his room. Logan and him bicker, before agreeing to go get more in the morning and tough it out for the night. Logan curses the shitty futon he sleeps on and bites down his ego. Wade is under at least five layers before Logan pushes him to the edge of the bed, climbing underneath the small pile with a slight shiver from the cold. Wade begins to crack jokes about how they are sleeping together, and Logan needs Wade, all of which Logan glares at him for before putting a pillow over his ears. Wade does end up falling silent, and wiggling up against Logan's back. He allows it, this once. Only because Wade is warm.

okay that's all they are the WORST.

[localgrem1in]

Magtober Day 26 - Found Family

Quick! Post the oops! all avatars! au where they're just really tired coworkers trying to survive cryptic instructions from eldritch horror bosses!

My goal for Magtober is to do a sketch every day according to the prompt. I've been suffering from that headspace where every peice needs to be a finished piece, so I'm tryin to break that.

Prompt list by @emerald-emerlad for tmatober 2023!

Previous | Next

Mini infodump below cut :]

Avatars:

Oliver [he/him] - Avatar of the End

Jon [he/they] - Avatar of the Eye

Helen [she/it] - Avatar of the Spiral

Jude [she/he] - Avatar of the Desolation

Tim [he/him] - Avatar of the Slaughter

Mike [he/him] - Avatar of the Vast

Martin [he/him] - Avatar of the Lonely

Sasha [she/they/it] - Avatar of the Stranger

Gerry [they/he] - some weird both but none inbetween of the Eye, the End, and the Hunt, but I like him lots so I say he gets to stay

Mini plot points:

-It's MUCH more lighthearted than TMA the podcast

-Oliver is still there when Jon wakes up, they proceed to become besties

-Mike and Jon become close friends because Jon's not STUPID and doesn't tell Daisy that Mike is 'inhuman'. Therefore Mike doesn't die, and they get a chance to ✨bond. ✨

-Jude and Mike are besties too, but they would die before letting you know that

-Jude [sometimes with assistance from Helen] scares off Elias whenever the group goes to rescue Jon from the depths of the Archives. [She just threatens to burn down the Archives-]

-Gerry doesn't want to be burnt just yet, because he wants to go out on his own terms, not desperation left over from Getrude trapping him in that book. Maybe help the new archivist, he's could use some assistance and is the teeniest bit pathetic

-As a result, Gerry kinda hangs around the archives while Jon is comatose and becomes close friends with Tim

-Tim and Sasha doesn't die (obviously), instead Tim survives the unkowing. His time in the hospital is a much shorter stay than Jon

-He finds Sasha after they go to stop the Unknowing, cracked and breaking into pieces in the ruins, and helps her get back to the Archives

-Sasha and Helen become besties. That's it. That's the story.

-Jon and Helen are also closer, because Jon doesn't completely shut Helen out when she mentions how similar they might be

-Tim determinedly keeps driving the Lonely away from Martin, which annoys Peter Lukas greatly

-Sasha's too scary for Peter to try and make any more drastic measures though

-EVERYONE bullies Jon about his newfound discovered crush on Martin, while at the same time they are very sympathetic to Martin because this poor boy has been pining for SO LONG over this prick /aff

-Jon also cuts his hair short again after his coma, because he's not too depressed to take care of it

[twwings]

so I spent the last few months just marathoning The Magnus Archives??? I was curious and I have a long-ish commute that I need to fill with audio, so I went for it. I was somewhat spoiled by fanart I saw randomly over the years but not entirely spoiled, and I quite enjoyed it. Some thoughts (both positive and negative thoughts below) because I wanted to write them down as I chew over the show. Also my ramblings might be pleasurable to folks who are big fans and enjoy hearing about people listening to their thing for the first time?

Spoilers for all of TMA, but as I haven't listened to The Magnus Protocol yet (I'm sure I will) no spoilers for that.

thoughts in no particular order:

didn't know that my trypophobia could be activated aurally! thanks, season one. it's good to learn about yourself

because I had seen lots of fanarts around, I knew that Jon/Martin would eventually be a canon thing, so I just spent the early episodes making fun of Jon whenever he was mean about Martin. Jon would be like "ugh, Martin, amirite?" and I'd yell at the car speakers like "lol you're gonna MARRY that guy"

sometimes I found the show a little boring or too expositiony (like the episode where Leitner shows up) and it made me think a lot about the conditions of production, like, having fans who were super into the show and red stringing it up clearly made them want to explain things sometimes in a way not necessary to the story - or, at least, it didn't feel necessary to me as a casual listener who was coming in after the fact and not part of the fandom. maybe it felt necessary for other folks, or to the cast and crew at the time.

relatedly, oh god, I did not keep up with all the plotlines and stuff. like it took me a WHILE to realize that the show was not just gonna be standalone/anthology stuff and would have an overarching plot so I did not pay attention early on to repeated names or plots. and because I was listening on my commute I was like "welp, can't google it, gonna let it go" and I did. I'm here to tell you that the magnus archives is still enjoyable even if you don't care that much about what's going on

when I did really start to care was the end of season four/season five. absolutely love that they went there with the end of season four (I thought it'd just be a buffy-style "now we fight a BIGGER big bad at the end of this season" escalation forever, but no, they unleashed hell on earth, baller move, A+, loved it

so I was spoiled that Martin (and Jon? I wasn't sure) died at some point, though I didn't really know where or how. I also saw someone post something like "oh TMA, great show, too bad it ends after five minutes into episode 160" so from that I kind of extrapolated that Martin died in episode 160? so my experience of listening to that one was REALLY on tenterhooks because the first five minutes was Martin going for a nice walk! and then Jon getting taken over by the statement! so while listening to the middle bit of 160 I was convinced that when Martin came back from his walk Jon was gonna kill him (while possessed, obviously) as part of the ritual thing. so really the following 40 episodes of Martin being alive were pretty sweet to me. Every episode after that when Martin was alive I was like, score, bonus, love it, I'm glad Jon didn't stab him three seconds after they got into a relationship

kept listening for a physical description of Jon to match all the fanart and never got one? I guess the fanon of what Jon looks like is just super consistent for some reason?

hated Tim, I can't disguise it, I hated Tim and I was glad when he died and I was glad he didn't come back, sorry Tim fans, live your truth and I will live mine

wish there weren't so many cops on this show, tho the show did seem to recognize that a little in S5 and try to do some things about it

I'm just a huge sucker for every genre experiment in S5. omg I loved it. Terminus gets a coroner's report, The Unknowing gets slam poetry, The Flesh gets a gardening manual?????? mwah. it made me excited for the format of the statements again when they'd gotten stale. so many smart and interesting genre experiments in S5! and I, like Jon, don't even like poetry (just write some prose! I've never identified with a character more), so you know I'm impressed when I'm exclaiming about some poem

seriously! the genre experiments!!! so good

"queer couple navigate their new relationship and also The Hellscapes" = amazing, ty, also ty for doing it twice

somehow I managed not to notice the line about Jon being asexual at first and then I saw some tumblr post about it and I was like, wait what? my brain had gone pretty far down into some non-asexual fanfiction stories before I got that bit of canon and had to record-scratch freeze-frame. anyway I am pleased by the ace rep and hope to go read some non-sexual D/s for them in the future, please tell me if you know some good stuff

please also tell me if you know about fanfictions where Martin consensually feeds Jon his own memories and it's weird and intense

saw a cute fluffy domestic fanart where Jon was blind (ie had blinded himself to escape the eye) and I laughed and laughed that this is a fandom in which the happy fluffy AUs are the ones where the characters have violently blinded themselves. not to say I'm not gonna read the fluffy AUs where they've violently blinded themselves, I am, I'm sure they're lovely, it's just funny

don't think I wasn't thinking about Crowley and Aziraphale in the episode where Jon is like "what if we ran away together" in season four. When Jon is like "What if we ran away together, you and me, we could do it, what if we did" and he absolutely knows that Martin is not gonna say yes and maybe he doesn't want Martin to say yes but he wants to ask him anyway, he wants to try it anyway, because the fantasy of escape, together, is overpowering. anyway don't think I didn't think about Crowley

also laughed and laughed at the like four episodes at the end where Jon is like "maybe I should . . . . . . . . . . . become the Torment Nexus? From the classic scifi novel, Don't Become the Torment Nexus?" and first Martin and then everyone else is like "Jon, don't become the Torment Nexus" and it's really clear that you should not become the Torment Nexus but then later Jon says fuck it and becomes the Torment Nexus

I say it's really clear but the idea that you should strand and isolate and burn out the powers is not a bad one. I did like that the second to last episode was just a debate on morality with no clear resolution. that's a lovely way to send off your characters. tho it didn't matter a lot to the end plot? but still.

Jon "I think I'll just become the Torment Nexus" Simms, istg

THE TORMENT NEXUS

Sue Simms' voice is incredibly hot, Gertrude Robinson is absolutely deadass smokin, love how the Legend of Gertrude just built up over the seasons until by the end she was this like powerful callous avenging angel, no notes, might build a shrine in the woods with pictures of Gertrude in little jars

Gerry and Jurgen were both madly in love with her and she didn't notice or care because she was too busy kicking ass, no notes AT ALL

I really like the bit at the beginning of S5 where Jon is depression-listening to old archives tapes, like it's really effective to do the birthday party flashback just there when the world's just been apocalypsed, but I can't stop thinking about how Jon is listening to that tape and, in retrospect, being like "did Elias/Jonah use his all-powerful knowledge and vision to find out that there was cake in the office?" idk it really feels like Elias's motives in that flashback are like "eat cake" and no one else realizes that he's used his monstrous evil eye power to locate cake. anyway I imagine that Jon had all of these thoughts during his depression

Basira made me laugh ALL THE TIME, the voice acting was so good and she was so over everyone's shit. but at the same time there's this real softness to her at the end of S5 after she's killed Daisy, like she's still tough and grounded in her own perspective but suddenly more compassionate or sympathetic. she has such a good journey over the show

were Basira and Daisy a thing? I could not tell. maybe I should not ask. maybe I am not meant to know. maybe even asking shows how little I know, because their intense and murderous bond exceeds traditional relationship categories

I had a really nice time!!!

I will need to read fanfictions

I will need to watch animatics

I will need to seek out fanarts

the end

[cool-person-yey]

If you were to psychoanalyze the characters from tmagp, what would you say about them as well as how that affects them and their outlook on life?

now THAT is a loaded question

Sam -> oh that boy is not well. getting rejected from the institute fucked him up a lot, and all the expectations his parents ( and himself) had for him didn't help. all of that resulted in him being a massive overachiever & people-pleaser, n also his obsession with the institute. Sam feels that need to prove himself, prove that he's good enough, and if for some reason he isn't, he needs to know why. he's trying to cross-reference cases, looking for the answers— and yet, he's being deprived of them. again. I've noticed that he's slightly manipulative, not like, playing people to do what he wants, but just small little actions and stuff he says that seem harmless at first but do have second intentions in mind. I'd say it's related to the whole Gifted Kid Burnout™ thing, usually ex-gifted kids are great at lying and schooling their expressions to not show what they truly feel and think.

Alice-> oh she is not fine. not fine at all. We don't know how her experience at the institute impacted her (or if he remembers it at all. I think she does, just trying to ignore it) so I'll leave that aside for now. Her parents' deaths resulted in her having to fill that role for Luke, and she probably did not have time to grieve properly for them (yes, Sam helped her, but there's only so much a friend can do. and in a way, grieving never really stops). Her 'jokester doesn't care about the horrors' demeanor is meant to hide the simple fact that she is scared she probably has been for a while, but never had the chance to show it, and know she doesn't know exactly how to. if she can't make it funny then she'll ignore it, it's better that way.

Gwen-> yeah she's not good either. honestly no one in this fucking office is alright. The first thing we know about Gwen is that she comes from a rich family, and that obviously impacts heavily how she views the world, the scene that portrays this the best is when she welcomes Lady Mowbray into the OIAR because " she's an actual lady'' ( like the most dangerous thing isn't an old British lady) Gwen is very much an elitist. she needs to be at the top at all costs, she needs to be "In it". While her experience with Bonzo definitely shook her up quite a bit, she does not seem to want to go back though. We don't know much about her personal life (outside her family being rich obv) so I won't comment on that.

Lena -> I think she might be the most unwell on this list. she doesn't interact much with the others, but she does care a lot, we have basically 0 information on her background (outside of headcanons, and while I have many I'll only talk canon stuff here) so I won't comment much on it, but Lena seems like someone who was taught to always obey and not to ask many questions. she wants to complete the tasks management send her, not only because she needs to obey, but also because they're supposedly helping the world with that work. Lena cares, she just doesn't show it, I'd say either because she was taught not to, or because she learned it the hard way that caring may be your downfall.

Celia -> this one's a bit complicated. everyone and their mother have talked about how celia is the same one from tma etc etc. and yeah, I believe in it BUT since it wasn't properly confirmed yet, I'll talk about tmagp-only Celia first and then tma-travelled-to-tmagp Celia bc that's a whole other angst ( well not that they don't have stuff in common, but they're for different reasons)

So we know very little about Celia actually. she has a son, she likes little doughnuts, she wakes up in the middle of the night at a train station sometimes. She seems very reserved to talk much about her own life, even to old friendships such as Georgie. Celia is a very secretive person, she does believe the cases are true and does not hide that fact, even bringing it up at her date with Sam. Jack adds an interesting layer to her character, we haven't seem much of him yet, but I think that eventually her Mother Instincts and protectiveness will come into play. So overall, Celia is a pretty reserved person that does believe in the horrors, but doesn't want her loved ones to be involved in the horrors ( unless they show an interest in it? lots of people have theorized that maybe she is not in love with Sam or something, while i do not share that theory it is something to consider still. ) She definitively had a past experience with the horrors though.

now our beloved tma-celia-went-to-protocolverse-celia. Like i mentioned before, she has basically the same personality as— well, herself. but now I can pick out these traits and explain the reason behind them ( or speculate because this is a theory, even if like, everyone has agreed on it. we could just have been fools the whole goddamn time. do not forget that) first of, her being extremely secretive is kind of obvious, trying not to attract unwanted attention and not have many people involved in it, as not to harm them. Celia has first-hand experience with the horrors, she lost herself in it, she doesn't want that to happen to anyone else. I choose to assume Jack was born before she took tmagp's Celia's place, and she did not have the courage to just get rid of an innocent baby (tmagp celia was too but hey, telling lies to justify our actions is easier when looking through a mirror). She cares, she even became georgie's friend again, she cares a lot and she knows she'll have to work hard to keep the people she loves safe.

We don't know that much about collin and teddy yet, although if anyone want to psychoanalize them go for it!

thanks for sending this question anon! and i apologize for taking a while to asnwer it, and if any of the asnwer seems weird or not like what a human person would say, it is because they were written all in different times and places and stages of sleep deprivation.

[lizard-queen-izzy]

Ok, until I finish my refs/design timelines, I'm just describing how the tma characters look in my head. Today's post is Jon. I'm only through s3 so it'll only go up to that.

Jon-

Pre-institute: longer short hair, yknow. Like past his chin but not past his shoulders, almost always pulled back somehow. Already light graying mostly at the front. Dark jeans, boots and loose shirts. He has a comfort hoodie and cardigan and he's always in one or the other. Always losing his glasses despite carrying backups.

Research Era: chopped his hair, still shaggy-ish on top, but cut close on the bottom. It still hangs in his eyes sometimes. Dark jeans or dark slacks. he has a pair of dark brown slide-on sneakers until he gets proper shoes. Either a nice fitting solid colour t-shirt or button up with his hoodie/cardigan. [He eventually buys a proper coat too] looses his glasses less, but also invests in a chain for them.

S1: hair chopped even shorter, trying to look professional. Glasses with the chain. Wearing button ups, a vest and a blazer. Dark slacks only and his fancy little shoes. Trying so desperately to mimic Elias so he's taken seriously. Sometimes he wears a tie. Poor guy is struggling in all the layers.

S2 first half: the blazer is gone. The vest is most days too. Too many layers make him itchy and remind him of the worms. Worm scars are still fresh and reopen sometimes. Dark slacks and still his fancy shoes. Glasses still on the chain. Hairs getting shaggy again and the gray has started to spread.

S2 second half: just his button up and cardigan, dark/black jeans and his slip-on shoes are back. Worm scars are starting to properly heal. Glasses are still on the chain but it's broken. Hairs properly hanging in his eyes most days, not that he notices, the gray is more throughout.

S3: first half: What the Ghost shirts and his cardigan. Sweatpants or pajamas. Fuzzy socks/slippers. Worm scars are still fairly prominent but closed up. Fresh burn scar on hand from Jude and healing cut on his neck from Daisy's knife. Hair is back to pre-institute length and usually in a half up/half down situation but now with the added grown out undercut. Glasses live on his head or on his shirt 80% of the time.

S3 second half: return of the button ups but also return of the hoodie/cardigan. Dark/black jeans and his slip-on sneakers. He doesn't wear his glasses most days, he doesn't really need them anymore. Hair is slightly longer and more grey but not quite past the shoulders yet. Worm scars are super faded but still there [he got moisturized for a month, I imagine that probably helped] hand scar is still fairly bad, but also looks better than it should for how recent it is. Same for the scar on his neck.

[mintymuses-podcast-edition]

It's taken me a while but now that I'm older and have listened to TMA a few times, I have a much better appreciation of the character arcs in season three and four. The first time I listened to TMA was sometime mid-pandemic, fresh out of high school and very much stuck in a realm of black and white thinking. Characters were only good and only bad. Maybe it was also the pandemic and the way it interacted with my mindset; more likely it was just. Me being 18 and not fully understanding how to interpret these characters. But I think I get it now.

Back then, I didn't really like any of the characters because - in my mind - they were terrible friends(not even really friends, more just people he spent time with) to Jon and just didn't understand the stuff he was dealing with. Becoming something other than human is a hell of a process and they were all very cold to him during this, something I didn't get. My mindset was usually on main character with good goals = good guy that needs allies. Now I can see it a lot clearer.

Martin lost his mom, Jon, the only coworker he had who had been with him from the start of their stint in the archives, and - even though at the time it seemed like a good thing - any direction from Elias. Everything was uprooted, and he withdrew into himself. He saw an opportunity to help who remained, with Peter, and he took it. Yes, it made him act harshly to the people that reached out to him — but depression and loss doesn't always make people just sad, it makes them bitter and angry when they isolate. I heard the Lonely compared to depression and it finally clicked for me. Yes, he acted like an asshole a few times to his remaining coworkers. He was in pain.

Basira was - at the time - the only one who made it out of the Unknowing alive. She was alone, and she could only count on herself. So when people came back, she still stuck to that thinking because it was the only thing she could do, the only thing that felt right when her other half was gone. She didn't share plans and rushed into things because she needed to be in control at all times and handle it herself, needed to be able to. She was cold to Jon when he went through the dietary intervention(lol) because he became an element she couldn't trust again, after just starting to put some back into him. She withdrew again.

Melanie was someone I used to be incredibly confused by, mostly because I didn't understand her anger and how she used it to fuel herself. It seemed so strange that she'd mourn the loss of something that was likely killing her from the inside out, but the thing is it was attached to a part of her that gave her the strength to carry on. Her anger was her identity and it had been carved out of her; she had no spark left under that and she had to relearn what it meant to be. I didn't understand just how distressing it could be to lose a "negative" part of oneself the first time I listened, because at least she was alive? I didn't understand how much of the self could be lost doing that, even with good intentions.

I think Georgie is the one I was most judgemental towards, because when I first listened, the idea of abandoning a friend that needed help seemed incredibly cruel and selfish to me(seeing it only from Jon's angle). She distanced herself from him when he needed the support of friends most — but now that I've lived more I understand how hard a choice that probably was for her, and also how important it was that she made it. Narratively it was a bad time - she didn't know that ofc - but it probably had been bubbling up for ages. How many times had she been trying desperately to help Jon when he wouldn't even extend a hand to accept that help? Helping people is important; desperately trying to help people who refuse it is a lesson in insanity. At the time, I had never cut someone off for my own health like that, but now I get it. She did what she could until she couldn't anymore.

Idk exactly where I was going with this but ultimately they're all such well-written and human characters going through incredible hardships; no one is going to make good choices when they're under such pressure, no one is going to be 'the good guy' because they're all suffering and reacting to it in their own ways. It took me a few years to see it exactly but it is so worth it 🙏 moral of the story is if you don't entirely like a character when you're younger, visit them again when you're older and have more perspective

[moonsanoverthinker]

Moon you seem really cool so I have a question: if you were a harrowed retail worker on Christmas eve, which tma character would be the best last minute shopper to interact with?

First of all honoured that you think I’m cool (got me doing little flappy hands and giggling) also the feelings mutual <3 x

I guess the person who think would be the best to interact with might be either Sasha, Basria or Georgie because they seem the calmest and also minimal yet nice conversation is how I wish all interactions with strangers would go.

Right here’s the thoughts laid out in more detail than necessary because I can’t simplify for shite:

Jon - Would already be stressed from being in the shop so could snap at a sales worker but flip side he might be stressed but he’s sticking close to Martin who calms him enough that he doesn’t snap, instead he only speaks if he’s spoken to first by a retail worker and even then he doesn’t say much.

Martin - Trying to keep Jon chilled while also looking around. Series 1 Martin would be apologising to retail workers if he really has to ask them for something (this is his last resort he’d rather walk around for an hour than ask) but Series 5 Martin is still polite but his focus is on Jon so he might get a little antsy if someone’s taking too long.

Tim - Series 1 is being nice and trying to crack jokes, he’s not being a bad customer but if it’s the end of the shift he could be a little annoying because how does someone have that much energy. S3 Tim is still respectful but he just seems annoyed, he’s not necessarily annoyed at the retail workers but they aren’t helping, minimal conversation, minimal effort.

Sasha/NotSasha - OG Sasha is just lovely, she makes simple and decent small talk, also puts things back in the correct place if she decides not to buy them. NotSasha she’s nice but it’s creepy, she will make eye contact the whole time and the worker who’s serving her will never see her blink and she holds the conversation but she keeps pausing in the middle of sentences.

Melanie - Being nice to workers but keeps getting annoyed at the other people in the shop. Also post the quitting of the institute (keeping it vague for peeps who haven’t got there yet) she’s walking fairly confidently but there’s a little hesitation as she’s gets used to it but she’s got Georgie to describe things and also help her if she needs a guide.

Georgie - Again lovely to workers but does get annoyed by other people in the shop especially if they get too close to Melanie. She’s holds fairly decent small talk and she’ll give whoever’s serving her a nice compliment.

Basira - Keeping an eye on Daisy just to make sure she doesn’t loose it, so they’re a little stressed but it’s a very short and sweet interaction, minimal conversation but it’s pleasant enough.

Daisy - Trying to keep her cool but is always one small inconvenience from loosing it, tries to be nice but she’s kind of blunt so sometimes it doesn’t always translate as her being nice.

Elias - Extremely passive aggressive, he will tut at workers, tap his foot and sigh then he will smile at them as if he’s done nothing but it’s such a shit eating grin.

[kuruk]

that persons already a lost cause for that whole essay on that post where rhe joke was extremely clear to see but even on like serious posts about lesbians' boundaries (bc it's always about lesbians not dating men) it's always the transandrophobia truthers claiming they're keyboard warrior-ing for multigender people everywhere when no babe you're talking about YOU specifically. Bc how do you have the confidence to feel that you are so unique in your identity that no simpler string of words can describe you other than "ftmtftm dykefag boy girlboy nonbinary transmasc trans woman faggy butch queer female man mlmlwlw" which whatever that's your right I suppose but then you don't have the confidence to think that maybe you need to be the exception not the rule bc words still have meanings in society and if we made every statement to try to include the people online trying really hard to imply that they're tma then nobody would be able to say anything more specific than "people who love people love other people 😊💞"

I don't even get it because it's mostly people who used to just be trans men and thought that wasn't confusing or different enough so now people who honestly hate women are calling themselves dykes and the dykeness they're referring to is dating other transmascs who hate women too.. sometimes you can tell it's because they see trans women as inherently confusing and having "weird" genders and they so desperately want to replicate that by obscuring the fact that they're not transfem. it's just funny how no one who calls themselves a dykefag is ever actually a dyke and I don't want to entertain that like I think we have to go back to when lgbt people online thought it was cruel to throw around the word dyke like this when you're not a lesbian. because it is just cruel to talk down to women about men's rights while throwing around the word dyke it almost feels like it's on purpose. like the slur calling combined with the insistence that trans men have a right to access to lesbians because they're afab it seems like there's a weird obsession these people have with putting lesbians and trans women in their place

[sparky-is-spiders]

More of my TMA Somewhere Else is Dredge AU. Mostly just random stuff that isn’t enough to make a whole post all on its own. There’s no order to these btw it’s literally just whatever came to mind. (Also Jon uses any/all pronouns because I like projecting)

- Jon takes statements from people in the Dredgeverse. Back before she accepted the Greater Marrow angler job offer these were always encounters with the fears as they slowly sank their teeth into this new world, but once she moved she found that encounters with the fears were much, much rarer. Statements about the sea are still filling, however. Plenty of terror and new information to be found there.

- Jon really likes chatting with the traveling merchant. She’s seen a lot, so it’s a good way for him to learn about this world. He doesn’t want to take a statement from her (he’s sure she has many, but she might be the closest thing he has to a friend here (he doesn’t even know her name) and it would be a massive pain to constantly be going back and fourth between Greater Marrow and the other four regions). Her stories usually just contain enough scraps of information (and sometimes fear) that they can serve as a very light snack.

- Sometimes aberrations are the only things they catch in a day. Sometimes Jon will see dark shapes in the water, to big and malformed to be any of the regular fish native to the area. Sometimes they are out on the water, alone, and something is watching them. He Knows it is not Beholding.

- Jon thinks that the Eye would tell them the quickest route back to where they came from, would tell them exactly how to navigate to avoid monsters and dangerous storms. They know they could leave but they don't think they will. They need to stay. They need to know.

- Jon spends AGES trying to figure out what’s so special about the dark stone pillars. When she realizes that they grant her visions (but only if she’s frightened enough) she decides to visit all of them (at night, when the fog is thick and the fear is strongest).

- After getting a camera from the photographer, Jon tries to get pictures of the monsters. She nearly gets her boat sunk about a hundred times in the process, but finds that the benefits of being able to study them from multiple angles for as long as she wants outweighs the terror and cost of repairs.

- Got a LOT of thoughts about how the collector could play into this tbh. I don’t want to get into specifics for spoiler reasons but I can give some general thoughts:

Dude's just some guy who wanted cursed relics. Met Jon and instantly went: "They look like a magnet for The Horrors" and decided to hire them on the spot.

Dude is Elias. I feel like Elias wouldn't have too much trouble fitting into the role, and I like him well enough to actually want to include him in this au. That being said, I don't know if my grasp of the character is solid enough for me to explore the idea, and I like the idea of Jon, whose only remaining connection is the eldritch fear god they serve, having nobody and nothing in the already lonely and isolating world of Dredge.

It's Dredgeverse Jon. The collector is the Jon who was born here, and whose fascination with the sea and the supernatural drew them to this place, where they're sure all the answers they seek lie waiting, just below the surface of the water. Raises all sorts of questions I don't have answers to about who else has versions of themselves living in the Dredgeverse (if any at all) but also fascinates me.

The collector is any/all of these but also a mouthpiece for the entity that lurks in these waters (whether he knows it or not). I think dipping into these ideas any further would cross into spoiler territory, and while I think knowing the full story can really enhance the experience, I also think it's best played blind the first time. If you have the money to drop on it please do check it out, I promise it's so worth it.

Okay these are all my thoughts (for now). I'm sure I'll have more soon. Jon and Dredge both occupy massive portions of my brain all the time. However for now I need to try and get trophies for every regular fish (and possibly also the abberations, might be fun trying to spend a full in-game year just fishing).

[lycanlovingvampyre]

MAG 161 Relisten

Activity on my first listen: cutting the Kolkwitzia amabilis (also know as beauty bush?? apparently?) in my garden.

I think it was the right move to keep the story as they envisioned it. Covid was a massive event that nobody could have foreseen in this detail (like, we knew there's the danger of more zoonotic diseases due to humans and animals living so close to each other on such a grand scale, but like not when and how exactly it would be). It was very unfortunate to be timed so close, but as they said: writing and some of the production happened before the pandemic. There was no way they could have taken this into consideration during production. And as far as I know, a lot of people found TMA during the pandemic and it kept them company during lockdowns.

ALEX: "We will of course continue to provide content warnings in the show notes for every episode, and we advise everyone to check these even if customarily you don't." Me, being like "I don't need content warnings! I've walked through 30 years of my life with a few horrible things and I never needed content warnings for any of the 450+ horror movies I’ve seen, and that number doesn’t even include horror TV shows or short stories". Also me, after the show "Uhhhh, maybe there is something to content warnings..." Don’t be me, check the content warnings, take your time.

The new logo looks really cool, but I miss the old one in the YouTube videos. That smoke effect just doesn't work that well with the new logo. Also I think the logo was a bit of a spoiler, as I immediately suspected the tapes might be Web.

MARTIN: "Sorry, sorry; Tim wanted to surprise you, and –" TIM: "Snitch." Oh god, this is harmful to Martin on two levels... Number one: Jon still "hated" him back then. Jon didn't seem too happy about the surprise. So Martin's alarm bells go off and he tries to protect himself from potential angry Jon fallout. And then number two, Tim as well "attacks" him (even if he only meant it teasingly, it did sounds a bit on the annoyed side). But you know that's the thing with some situations like this, social anxiety, bullying... You start to get hyper-vigilant and hyper-reactive to the emotions of others as a defense mechanism. Recognize danger before or when it's already rising to keep yourself safe.

MARTIN: (hmph) "Well – I preferred going out for ice cream anyway." I talked about this before in discussions about Jon's and Martin's age and I think Martin's birthday is sometime between May and early September. That's at least the ice cream season in Central Europe. Of course they cooould have gone to a dedicated ice cream saloon at any time of the year (how are those doing financially in winter? I've always wondered about that...), buuuut let's look at the timeline. I still think Gertrude died in March and not in May and that thing in MAG 25 was an error and at first done to give the statement even more fuckery. So our Archives team started in Spring 2015 (maaaybe early Summer, if you want to keep May a possibility). Martin has already had his birthday before they celebrated Jon's here. Jon's birthday is sometime between Summer 2015 and Spring 2016 (cause then they're been working in the Archives for a year). And on July 29th 2016 the Archive was attacked by Prentiss and Sasha died. That would also kind of mean that Martin is older than Jon and I love that idea because I think Jon hated that XD (Aside from him already thinking Martin's older than him because Martin also cheated with his age...)

SASHA: "Yes, you were there!" MARTIN: "You had – rum and raisin, and taught us all about emulsifiers." Also part of the defense mechanism of hyper-vigilance. Trying to remember everything. Also rum and raisin? Jon really tried to push the I'm old-image.

ELIAS: "Knock knock." Who is it, Mr. Spider. It's Mr. Bluebottle. And he's brought you a cake.

ELIAS: "He didn’t have to. Nothing escapes my notice, and I like to keep an eye out for this sort of thing." I had a boss like this once xD Whenever someone brought pastries, he was immediately there! He has unintentionally built himself a small reputation around the office. He once told me, he of course knows about that, but one time he did not immediately jump at the chance and then there was nothing left for him. So he will keep up with being known as the sweet-tooth who's always the first, otherwise he might miss out xD

ELIAS: "So, how old is the birthday boy?" JON: "Uh – thirty-eight." SASHA: "Liar." And by assuming he just made himself 10 years older, we have his actual age!

EVERYONE: "Happy birthday, dear –" TIM, SASHA, MARTIN: "– Jo-on." ELIAS: (simultaneous) "– Archivist." Smug, disgusting, grooming bastard...

JON: "If I wish for you all to go away, do you think it’ll work?" T__________T

JON: "You know that there’s a lot of tannin in tea as well?" In black and green tea, yes, but only after letting it steep for more than 2 minutes.

JON: "Hang on, have you been recording this?" [CLOTHING RUSTLING.] TIM: "Oh! Yeah! I – just thought it might be nice, you know, something to look back on when we’re all old and sick of each other." T__________T Especially that coming from Tim... Also Tim doing the hidden tape recorder thing here...

MARTIN: (gentle) "Hey." JON: ""Hi." So the breathing sounds and these two words were the first thing I heard of them after MAG 160. And I was so relieved to hear that Jon's still Jon.

MARTIN: "I don’t know. It’s not like there are days to count, anymore, (sigh) all the clocks are stopped, and…" Glad it came up here again, cause that's vital information and I wouldn't have caught that the first time around cause I didn't listen to the trailers.

MARTIN: "Well, just as well I don’t remember my dream." JON: "I do." MARTIN: "What?" It's pretty dark, but it's humor, I’ll take it!

MARTIN: (trying) "Bit of a hideaway?" JON: "Or a prison." MARTIN: "..Yes. Still, better than outside." More of the Martin-tries-to-salvage-the-situation-at-least-a-little-bit and Jon-is-unable-to-see-any-hope-or-other-positive-views-whatsoever... It does make so much sense for both characters.

JON: "Y-Yes. It – It doesn’t want to harm me." MARTIN: "And me?" JON: "I won’t let it." Hell yeah! Also a bit of a first glimpse of Jon-being-a-demigod

MARTIN: "Jon, it’s not your fault." JON: (sharp) "Martin, can we not do this again?" T__________T God, this episode...

JON: "I’m just – I’m mourning a world I killed –" MARTIN: (overlapping, placating) "I know –" JON: (increasingly fervent) "and we’re all trapped in its rotting corpse!–" MARTIN: (strict, end of discussion) "Enough, Jon." Oh god, Jon sounds as if he's about to cry any second after that "rotting corpse" and Martin is losing his patience a bit there. I get it, he doesn't want Jon hurting and it’s frustrating.

That is such a twisting-the-knife move to actually have a tape wherein Gertrude warns about... everything! I mean, we see how much is destroys Jon.

GERTRUDE: "They do not rule our world, but they do exercise considerable power, which they generally manifest in the form of monstrous beings that spread further fear – or, incarnations, those humans who have willingly, though not always knowingly, chosen to take on the power of these entities." God I LOVE how the music picks up at "or, incarnations"! I think it’s the same track as in MAG 9, when the Lightless Beast knocks on the door! Cause that part of the music picking up also really got me in MAG 9.  Ahhh, I miss the S1 tracks...

GERTRUDE: "I’ve managed to keep the Archives in a state of chaos for decades, as I believe his plan would benefit from their organization. But I leave that to your judgement." Come to think of, is this actually the first time we hear that it was not neglect, but fully intentional to keep the Archives in such chaos?

GERTRUDE: "A place… (she sighs) A place that will often demand a high price from you." That sigh and that pause. So it did nag a bit on her? Sacrificing so many people?

GERTRUDE: (overlapping) "Do you know the gas main, a little way out in the tunnel?" LEITNER: "I do." GERTRUDE: "I need you to move it." Ah yes, more foreshadowing! We already heard about that gas main in MAG 68. And about Gertrude using gas mains to blow up places of Beholding in MAG 53.

GERTRUDE: "If my guess is right, the Church’s ritual should be collapsing any time now, so – immediately." Hmm, so that is probably the second to last recording of Gertrude. I wonder why she didn't talk about her theory of the single-entity-rituals might be doomed to fail anyway.

JON: "Can you imagine? If we’d had this?" MARTIN: "But we didn’t, did we." JON: "No –" MARTIN: "So there’s no point in dwelling. (heavy breath) John, I – This isn’t healthy." Aw man, there are times I've been so much like Jon. And there's no way around it, you just can't help it in that moment.

JON: "Healthy? I am an Avatar of voyeuristic terror, who unquestioned craving for knowledge has condemned the entire world to an eternity of torment; healthy i-isn’t – i,it’s not –" First of all: Theater kid... Second, I think it was totally necessary for us as audience that Jon spoke out loud how exactly he thinks that this was all his fault.

MARTIN: "It just – It hurts me to see you wallowing like this." JON: (snapping) "Well, some of us weren’t able to cut ourselves off from the world before it ended." Hmmm, it is so hurtful, but also feels so real. Jon saw it as... an accusation? Like, and now Martin says, he's feeling bad because of me because of course everything is my fault, but maybe if Martin had been there just a little bit before all of this, maybe it wouldn't have happened! (Dwelling again...)

MARTIN: "That’s not fair." JON: "No, it’s not; I’m – I’m sorry, I just – (large shaky breath) It hurts." Martin having a quite reasonable approach. He knows it's not Jon's fault. He knows, the general period with Peter wasn't what caused this (Cause later we hear he very well feels conflicted about his choice in the panopticon). There is no one else at fault but Jonah Magnus.

MARTIN: "A way to stop this, a way to turn the world back!" JON: (softer) "Do you really think there is one?" MARTIN: "Well, if there is, it’s not in here, is it?" Hmmm, Martin's definitely right there... But I can also understand Jon's wish to stay at the cabin. Even without that supernatural cabin-makes-them-want-to-stay-because-it-seems-safe...

JON: "No, it’s – (sigh) I love you, I just – (inhale) I need more time." AAAAAAAAAh <3

MARTIN: "Hey – Hey, when did you start recording?" JON: (confusion) "I – didn’t. I only brought one, and I’ve been using it to play the tapes." MARTIN: "Oh. (sigh) That’s not a great sign." JON: "No. No, it’s not." A bit in conflict with the trailer because Jon addresses the recorder about exactly that... Oh hang on, I guuuuuuess we could possibly see the trailer as happening after this? There is nothing that would contradict it, is there? Especially Martin's "You still… (sigh) Feeling it, seeing everything?" could be seen as reference to the conversation in MAG 161. Earlier, in the first scene of Jon and Martin it sounds like Jon describes his "seeing all the terror outside" as if he's laying that out for Martin for the first time. I wooould say it could possibly be due to the nature of Martin being a bit bewitched by the cabin (like not noticing tea is not!tea), buuuuut this doesn't work with Jon's confused reaction right here in MAG 161. (Also, I'd say it’s not necessarily a bad sign, as it indicated that there is indeed something that it still wants to hear!)

@a-mag-a-day

[somanyfuckedupiftruebooks]

Mag 63

Oh hells yeah. It's been a while since a statement started with the statement-giver just absolutely dragging the Institute. 'I don't want to explain things properly, so you nerds can go google yourselves (if you can find the time between listening to ghost stories told by idiots).' Nice to get back to our roots.

Sucks when families get torn apart by the Entities. :(

I really do try not to be too harsh on the statement-givers. They dont know that the genre of their lives just became horror, we can't blame them for not immediately making all the right decisions. But come on. There's no excuse for staying inside the previously sealed off spooky church basement corridor full of invisible shadows that are stalking you. Apologise to your brother in law and gtfo.

TMA does something differently to most horror. Usually in horror, a character like this who refuses to believe what's in front of them will end up getting got by something spooky as a form of comeuppance, while a character like Luke who believes from the start will be vindicated and end up surviving. But in TMA denial and skepticism aren't necessarily character flaws that need to be corrected, they can be an effective method of protecting yourself from the Entities (because you keep yourself from getting too afraid by outright ignoring all the things that are trying to scare you).

Another common theme of TMA: people being forced (or forcing themselves) into terrifying/deadly situations because of economic pressures.

But like?? This is pushing into deeply irrational territory. Spending hours failing to get photos every ten metres?? They didn't give up until they hit a literal dead end!! Someone needs to talk to these two about the Sunk Cost Fallacy.

See here's what I was talking about before. If things were 'fair' Luke would survive because he was the one who recognised the danger and wanted to leave, but that only made him more afraid so he's the one targeted by the Dark.

Hells yes!! Fuck yes!! Such a cool moment!! Love the wet snap, the almost cinamatic lighting up of the darkness with the camera flash, the acknowledgement that this is the worst moment of her life.

Fun fact, decapitated heads can survive and be aware for several minutes after being seperated from the body.

Who are these people? Servents of the Dark would be the obvious answer (maybe even avatars who were casting the shadows in the tunnel), but if so I can't imagine why they would be using torches, or why they would have helped our statement-giver out of the tunnel instead of just tearing her head off as well.

Entities probably sometimes deliberately leave survivors marked to feed from their fear long-term, so that could explain it, but I still think the torches are antithetical. Another possible explanation is that the parishioners of this church are aware that there are evil shadows in the basement, and they've taken it upon themselves to keep it secret and sealed away. So when they saw that people had gone in there, they got a couple of torches each and went down to save them, but made sure to also destroy the evidence of what happened and cover it up afterward.

[ollieofthebeholder]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thanks @fridayyy-13th for the tag!

How many works do you have on Ao3? 64!

What's your total Ao3 word count? Holy...! Uh, 1,700,611. (I should've guessed, I've got some ultra-long fics on there, but Jesus Christ on a cracker.)

What fandoms do you write for? These days, mostly The Magnus Archives. I've also written for Star Trek (primarily the AOS/Kelvin films), the MCU/Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., Cut & Run, and RQG. I've got a couple of very, very old Sherlock fics, a couple PJO fics from some ship week challenges I took part in back when the Heroes of Olympus books were still coming out, a couple WTNV fics, a few Star Wars fics that never made it to AO3, and three one-offs.

What are your top five fics by kudos? leaves too high to touch (roots too strong to fall) - 1,758 kudos Had He Known It - 777 kudos Whiskey Lullaby - 395 kudos It Was Just My Imagination Telling Lies - 378 kudos Hurry Up and Slow Me Down - 349 kudos

Do you respond to comments? Every single one! It's half the fun to me.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Ooh...that's a toughie, actually, but I'm going to go with Where the Road Waits to be Taken because it's the only one where the ending focuses on the people left behind.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Also a toughie! But I'm going to go with Love Will Find Out the Way.

Do you get hate on fics? Not so much anymore. I've been around long enough that I definitely used to, but I write for saner fandoms now.

.Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Not these days. I'm asexual and, while I'm personally sex-averse, my tolerance for it in fiction kind of goes in cycles. I think the last time I wrote an explicit sex scene was in 2016 or 2017.

.Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? Heh...I do, on occasion. Most recently the WTNV/TMA crossover (the full extent of which hasn't been published yet), which isn't that crazy. I think the craziest one I wrote was the Sherlock/Star Trek crossover that was also (sigh) a HP AU...which I have deleted, so sorrynotsorry.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not as far as I know, but I don't exactly go looking.

Have you ever had a fic translated? Again, not as far as I know.

Have you ever co-written a fic before? Uh...technically? My brother had an idea for a fic, but he wasn't old enough to join any fanfic websites at the time (we were probably the only two kids who never lied about our age on the internet to join websites), so he dictated it to me, I fleshed it out and posted it under my username.

What's your all time favorite ship? I love so many, but I have to say, the only ship I love that I genuinely can call an OTP in that I cannot fathom them in a relationship with anyone else (even adding anyone else to the equation) is Cecilos. JonMartin is a close second, but, well, I can see (and frequently enjoy) them also having other people in their relationships. Cecil and Carlos? Nuh-uh.

What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Ooh. There are...a couple. But I have a WIP sitting in my Tumblr drafts that was a sequel to Hurry Up and Slow Me Down that I would very much like to finish someday...I just, yeah.

What are your writing strengths? Angst and heartbreak. I've got a gift for descriptions, and I'm really good at conveying emotion in text. And I think I have a knack for putting together a tasty sentence.

What are your writing weaknesses? I do tend to get hung up on irrelevant details, and I frequently think myself into a corner. I also think I tend to obsess sometimes about things being perfect...and if I'm being honest, a big weakness of mine (not just in my writing, but in general) is that I often feel like it's something I need to apologize for, which is not helpful.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? Oh, I love doing that! I try to put a translation in hover text, and also in a footnote for benefit of screen readers, but I also try not to burden the actual text with translations. It's one of those "trust the reader to know what you're trying to say, and if they can't figure it out from context, you have failed as a writer" things to me. (This may have something to do with the fact that I used to write Star Trek fanfic, and conlangs are a thing.)

First fandom you wrote for? If you want to get technical, Power Rangers; I used to tell myself stories about the Power Rangers to put myself to sleep at night when I was a little kid, and once I wrote one down and read it out loud for Show and Tell. (The opening line was "One night, when Kimberly and Trini were sleeping, they were stolen," which should tell you everything you need to know about it. In my defense, I was seven.) I didn't know that's what it was at the time, though. If you're talking fandoms that I wrote for knowing it was a fandom and published on the internet...well, I grew up in the '90s and turned thirteen in the early '00s, so it probably shouldn't be that big of a surprise that it was HP.

Favorite fic you've written? It's like asking me to pick a favorite child. I am deeply in love with to find promise of peace (and the solace of rest) even if the next chapter is currently frustrating me a bit, because I am always deeply in love with my current project, because I love the way it showcases how I've grown as an author. That being said, I think my favorite fic that is currently complete might actually be Tomorrow When the World Is Free.

Tagging (absolutely no pressure) @blasphemous-lies-and-deceit, @amberastra, @magnetarmadda, @astudyinfic, @dyscalculated, and anyone else who wants to give this a go!

[onelonelyghostt]

Magnus Archives OC

The first thing I did once I finished the TMA and I felt like I needed to share.

CW : death and suicide and depression (and also spoiler warning for TMA)

Description 

Name: Charley Smyth

Appearance: Charley is a tall and slight young adult with dark hair and piercings. They often dress in an outfit that looks like it's been plucked from an after-school cartoon, with a flannel shirt, graphic tee, and torn jeans.

Avatarship: Charley is an avatar of both The Lonely and The End due to their work as a 999 and suicide helpline operator. For some reason, the people they talk to instead of being helped or filled with hope they are driven to distance themselves from everyone around them and eventually kill themselves, truly believing that nobody would notice if they weren't there.

Background: Charley had a sad childhood surrounded by trauma, which is why they took the jobs they did. They felt a sense of responsibility to help those who were struggling with feelings of loneliness and despair, likely because they had felt those same emotions themselves.

Personality: Charley is a deeply empathetic person who genuinely wants to help others, but they are haunted by the sense that they are ultimately powerless to prevent the suicides of those they talk to. They struggle with their own feelings of loneliness and isolation, and have a difficult time forming meaningful connections with others. Despite this, they are fiercely dedicated to their work and continue to take calls even though they know it will take a toll on their mental health.

Weaknesses: Charley's biggest weakness is their tendency to take on the emotional burdens of others, to the point where it starts to affect their own mental and emotional wellbeing. They struggle to draw boundaries and prioritise their own self-care, which can lead to burnout and mental exhaustion.

Strengths: Charley's greatest strength is their ability to connect with people on a deep, emotional level. They are skilled at listening and validating the experiences of others, which can be incredibly helpful for those who are struggling. They are also very persistent, and will go to great lengths to try and help someone who is in distress.

Overall, Charley is a complex and compelling character with a rich backstory and a unique role to play in the world of the Magnus Archives.

Statement

Statement of Charley Smyth, a helpline operator.

Statement given 11th of March , 2016

Statement Begins

 I've been working as a 999 and suicide helpline operator for a few years now. It's not an easy job, but I do it because I believe that everyone deserves to be heard, even if they don't think they matter.

 Most of the calls I get are from people who feel like nobody cares about them. They're convinced that if they disappeared, nobody would even notice. And the worst part is, sometimes they're right.

 I've lost count of how many times I've talked to someone and then...they're just gone. It's like they've vanished into thin air. Nobody reports them missing, nobody seems to care that they're gone.

 It's like they were never really here at all.

 It's hard to explain how that makes me feel. Sometimes I'm angry, sometimes I'm just numb. But most of the time, I'm just...lonely.

 It's a strange thing, feeling so disconnected from the people I talk to every day. I can't help but wonder what happens to them once we hang up. Do they feel better? Or do they just sink deeper into despair?

 And then there are the ones who don't call back. The ones who just...disappear. It's like they were already halfway gone before they even picked up the phone.

 It's a lot to deal with, and sometimes it feels like there's no point in even trying. But I can't give up. I won't give up.

 Because as long as there's even one person out there who needs me, I have to keep trying. I have to keep fighting, no matter how hopeless it seems.

 I don't know what the future holds, or if I'm even making a difference. But I do know one thing: I won't stop trying. Not now, not ever.

Statement Ends

Post-Statement

This statement by Charley is a perplexing one, to say the least. At first, I was tempted to brush it off as the ramblings of a delusional mind. But upon closer inspection, there are aspects of their story that don't add up.

For one, Charley seems to be an empathetic and compassionate person, drawn to a profession that seeks to help others. And yet, they describe a strange phenomenon in which the people they talk to become convinced that they are alone and that nobody would notice if they were gone. It's a kind of isolation that's not quite physical, but more of a deep, existential dread. It's a feeling that I've encountered before, in those who have been touched by The Lonely.

But there's something else going on here as well. The fact that these people go on to take their own lives, and seem to be driven to do so by the very feelings that Charley is trying to help them overcome, suggests a darker force at work. It's almost as if they are being pushed towards suicide by an outside influence, an entity that seeks to bring about the end of life. Could this be The End, another of the entities that we have documented at the Magnus Institute?

It's a strange and contradictory situation, and one that leaves me with more questions than answers. What kind of person is drawn to the work of a suicide hotline, and what kind of entity would seek to exploit that work for its own ends? And what kind of person can be an avatar of two different entities at the same time? It's a mystery that may never be fully solved, but one that I will continue to investigate nonetheless.

[raichukaiju]

I've been trying almost too hard to make what I what I wanted to say about The Magnus Archives into the perfectly worded eloquent essay, but if I stay on that train of thought then I'll never get anything written, so I'm giving myself permission to make it a bunch of jumbled dot points. It's me writing down my feelings, not a graded essay. It doesn't have to be perfect, it just has to be out of my head and on the page.

I have put it under a cut though since it's going to get long and I don't want to clog up people's dashes.

Before that though I really have to say thank you to @petticoat-swashbuckler for insisting that I listen to The Magnus Archives in the first place and then for letting me message you my live reactions to almost every episode (some at some truly awful hours), and thank you @jonnywaistcoat and everyone at Rusty Quill for the story you created that will always be a powerful gift and experience that I'll treasure forever~💚

Now Statement Begins let's go~ ⤵️

Never has a character spoken to my heart like Martin Blackwood. I see SO much of myself in him, even - especially - the messy parts. But he grows, he learns to set boundaries and take up space and stand up for himself, even if sometimes it's one-step-forward-two-steps-back sort of thing. But watching that character growth happen, as someone trying so hard with similar issues - it gives me a lot of hope for my own future. Also the fact that he's canonically fat and people celebrate that in fan art means so much, it's really helping me learn to love my body more, seeing this character I'm so close to drawn so often with a body like mine!!

Bouncing off that a bit, Recollection (ep 170) is the first episode that made me truly cry - full on sobbing on the couch, no exaggeration - and also feel a nauseous kind of fear rather than spooked or squicked, because it was so real. I get stuck in that fog too, more than I'd care to admit, and the way those emotions and experiences were layed out in that episode really hit hard. Martin's firm declaration "I am not lonely anymore" is something I'm carrying forward with me as a mantra. I'm not alone, I'm not lonely, I have friends who love me and want to see me get better and even in the thickest of fog, I will find a way out and back to them, back to myself. The temptation to eventually get that quote tattooed somewhere is very strong.

The fact that Jon is canonically asexual still makes my heart swell to bursting to think about - even if it isn't a major part of the story, it still means the world to me to have that representation, especially in a character so dear to my heart

Jon just means so much to me in general. I don't relate to him quite as heavily as I do Martin, but I still see connections. Though mostly when I think about Jon, to me he's my friend. He's my friend and I love him and I trust him and the podcast ending - aside from breaking my heart with what happened - felt like saying a goodbye I wasn't ready for to someone dear to me.

TMA is a story about a lot of things, but a big thing to me is that it's a story about choices. About how even decisions made with good intentions can still have negative consequences, but that doesn't make you a bad person. That making a decision at all can be just as important (if not more-so) as what you end up choosing. That don't have to make all the hard decisions alone. It's definitely something I needed to hear.

I've started slowly working on my fear of ants/swarms thanks to the Corruption episodes, so that's something!! (I did skip half of Pest Control (ep 55) and read the transcript of the rest though, it was making me want to crawl out of my skin. But I listened to Like Ants (ep 184) all the way through so yay for progress)

Speaking of the Fears, I'd absolutely serve the Vast!! Space, the deep sea and giant monsters don't scare me, though I definitely can the horror element in them. But to me, they're fascinating because of all of the potential there, all the beauty to see and learn about!! In that regard, I'm also certainly marked by the Eye - I need to know things! I love learning and researching and there's just so much in the world to discover and I know realistically I can never learn everything, but that doesn't mean I don't want to try. Another friend of mine said I was seeking a "Vastness of Knowledge" when we were talking about it and that's definitely an apt description!!

The existential side of the Vast does scare me though, that idea of cosmic insignificance is terrifying. I definitely agree with what Martin said to Simon - "I think our experience of the universe has value. Even if it disappears forever." - even if we're only here for a short time in the scheme of things, what we do in that time still matters because it's ours, and we still make an impact that ripples out even when we're gone.

It's re-sparked my interest in wanting to write horror (honestly just my desire to write in general) and reminded me how much I genuinely enjoy horror as a genre - it's just something easier for me to consume as a written or audio medium than a visual one, that doesn't mean I don't or can't enjoy it at all! Jonny's manner of storytelling is so compelling, and his descriptions - especially the statements in season five - have really lit a fire in me to up my game and work on my own creations

"Feed it, fearlessly and without hesitation, or it will feed on you" I know Jude Perry was talking literally about feeding the Fears, but this one stuck with me thinking about the idea of working on/with the things that scare me - "feeding" them - rather than letting them consume me. Maybe that doesn't make sense, but in my head it does and it's helpful to me which is the main thing.

Seriously The Magnus Archives has been so good for me in terms of helping me rethink/reframe a lot of my fear, anxiety and trauma. I'm so grateful for that, and even if it's hard to articulate (seriously not sure where to begin explaining it to my psych), it's something special to carry with me and help me push through. Part of me wishes I'd gotten into the show a lot sooner, but at the same time I think it truly came into my life when I needed it most and would get the most from it.

..... Ok once I started writing this was actually easier to get through than I initially thought it would be. I've still got a lot I want to talk about, but most of it would probably just end up being me posting quotes that ruined me and explaining why. But if anyone wants to talk about any aspect of TMA with me, please drop into my inbox!!! I'm usually better at answering questions than I am being left to ramble directionless (it's why I like writing essays so much, it's easier to keep focused on what information I'm presenting) and I'm not going to tire of talking about this series any time soon!!!

[ante--meridiem]

@tunedtostatic

(Hope it's ok that I'm answering this as a reblog instead of in the replies; I was going to just respond in the replies but then I found myself writing paragraphs and it would've been too inconvenient to try to fit them in the replies; if in future for responses like this you'd rather I maintain the semi-privacy of replies though, let me know) To be totally (maybe undeservedly?) fair, this does feel a little different to the If You Have Sex You Will Get Pregnant And Die thing to me because I don't necessarily get the impression that the writers are trying to punish him to enforce their stance as a morality tale so much as them needing an in universe reason to turn other characters against Viktor/make Viktor blame himself in order to set up plot points. But plot contrivance to punish a character is plot contrivance to punish a character which is very much :/ either way, and it's not like I can read the writers' minds to know they didn't want to punish him as a ~don't play god (by trying to treat your magic degenerative illness)~ kind of thing which unfortunately does seem like a very common take, so I do very much get what you're saying with the comparison and, yeahhh, it kind of is. Also, if I'm to engage in some haterism lite myself… I don't generally like to call characters' in universe actions "out of character" because I don't feel comfortable claiming to know characters better than the writers, and like I said I do understand that desperation can make people reckless and everyone can make mistakes (I mean, the demon core thing I referenced in the post is a real life example of "smart scientists who should know better make dumb mistakes while working with dangerous objects sometimes"), but… it does feel very wrong to me in light of how Viktor's been established as a character that he wouldn't have taken any precautions to avoid this kind of scenario. I mean on the one hand, sure, he's been established as prone to recklessness with his own safety and as obsessive to the point of blocking out all else, but on the other hand he's also been established as a generally thoughtful person who cares a lot about how his actions affect others, and he was paranoid enough about how his experiments would be perceived to lie to Jayce about them but would still do them in broad daylight with the door unlocked? I… don't really buy that. Haterism aside though I do plan to continue with the show no matter what (though I will admit, nervousness about how things will develop from here is somewhat contributing to me putting off watching the last episode) because at this point I am extremely attached to Viktor and feel a degree of affection/affinity for him I haven't felt for a character in a long time, so even if I do end up disliking the direction his plot takes as a whole (which, I'm not quite at that point yet despite intense frustration over this plot point) I'm unlikely to jump ship. Best case scenario I can see for how this develops is "Viktor made a mistake out of human fallibility that is acknowledged/framed as This Did Not Need To Happen This Way but causes people to unfairly turn against him" in which case I will probably be able to swallow down my frustration with the plot point for the sake of how much I love the character and the rarity of having that kind of judgement acknowledged as unfair, but even in a worst case scenario of how it's handled where it turns out this wasn't a contrivance to cause in universe conflict but actually the writers punishing him out of their own judgement, I'm likely to stick with the show in a "rooting for him against his writers" way (though in that case there will probably be many frustrated rants about it. Fair warning. (people who were here back in the tma days know what I'm like when I'm too attached to a show to jump ship but have major frustrations with the direction it's taking) (that said I very much don't actually enjoy being a hater, so while I am prepared to be one if that's how the show develops I'm holding out hope that I won't need to be))

I was being shitposty in my reaction to the demon core incident I mean hexcore incident during my liveblog but I truly am stuck on how much it did not need to happen like that. I get recklessness and desperation under the circumstances but if Viktor had put just a tiny bit of thought into avoiding getting walked in on he could've done things in a way that, I mean I'm sure wouldn't have turned out totally fine but would at least have confined the risks he was taking to himself as I'm sure he intended. And now I'm guessing he's going to take this as a sign that everything he was doing was inherently wrong/dangerous/irresponsible when this was in fact. Extremely avoidable.