#it was much more articulated in my head but

[suhnandmoon]

beat it!

chapter nine: written part below (900~ words)

pairing: slytherin beater!riki x hufflepuff chaser!reader

you and riki found yourselves back at the astronomy tower yet again. he had managed to find you trembling on one of the moving staircases, corrected your path, and led you up the tower, hand not leaving yours. you let him stride a few steps in front of you as you silently made your way to your intended destination, trying your best to remember exactly where you were headed this time.

his tight grasp faltered once you arrived, something in him not quite wanting to let go yet.

“thank you riki.” you muttered, voice hoarse. you tried to avoid eye contact as you sniffed. you felt a little pathetic, having forced him to guide you here after a breakdown as if you were a child.

but when he looked at you standing there with watery eyes, he could feel a slight ache in his chest as the guilt continued to weigh in. he hated this.

he knew you would hate him too, especially after you unintentionally allowed him to see you so vulnerable. he knew you would’ve never let this happen if you had remembered him at all. but when he looked at you, all he could think about was how much he wanted to see your smile again. even if that meant digging himself a deeper grave.

“anytime.” he breathed out. it was bittersweet, knowing this was probably the final time he’d get to see you like this before he came clean, “you wanna talk about it?”

you nodded as you made your way to the railing, the cool breeze soothing you. you gripped the rusted metal bar, trying to ground yourself to a distant familiar feeling.

“i feel like i’m falling behind.” you frowned. he carefully resumed his place to your right, leaning over the guardrail as he listened, “i know my friends don’t mean to do this, but the more they talk to me, i only feel more lost-”

“-references i don’t remember, personalities i don’t know but i should, getting filled in on weeks and weeks of classwork that i’m sure as hell not going to retain. i feel like i can’t have a moment to think straight, especially when the infirmary wing always has at least ten other sick students coughing their lungs out or something. it’s loud, it’s confusing-” you paused, exasperatedly trying to articulate everything thats on your mind. “-its all too much.” 

that last part came out as more of a whisper; you already wanted to cry again. riki stayed silent and let you continue.

“and when i needed a break from it, i had to go and get myself lost.” you tacked on a bitter laugh at the end of your spiel, causing riki’s brows to furrow.

“i know how you feel- i mean, i don’t know exactly. obviously. but i get it.” he found himself stumbling on his words as you looked up at him speaking. he tried his damn hardest to look away from the way your eyes seemed to shine at him.

he at least caused your smile to shift to something more genuine.

“life moves faster than we realize, and for you to be thrown into the middle of it all as a blank slate sounds so..”

“-exhausting?”

“yeah. i can’t even imagine it.” riki lets out a sympathetic laugh as you giggled.

he glanced down at both of your hands now on the railing, not having noticed how close they were getting. whether you or him was to blame for that, he wasn’t quite sure, but he inched his left hand closer to yours, just close enough to brush your pinky. 

was he an idiot? absolutely. but his heart outweighed the logic in his brain as you took the leap and grabbed his hand.

you both fell into a comfortable silence, gazing down on the rooftop of the castle and the spanning countryside. he didn’t comment when he felt you leaning into him, only grateful that your attention was beyond you and not on him so you couldn’t see how flustered he was.

not sure how much time had passed, you spoke up as you gave his hand a light squeeze, “did we do this often?” there was a familiar tease in your voice as you questioned him. he looked away, trying to think of what to even say.

“this is new,” he squeezed your hand back, but when he moved his head back to look at you, he saw your head tilted up, carefully observing his features. he was frozen as you locked eyes. his heart jumped as yours flickered to his lips for a split second, not in fear but in anticipation? the voice in the back of his mind yelled at him to quit it. 

he had to. this was all too unfair to you, even he couldn’t go that far.

riki tore his gaze away from you and back in front of him before heaving out a hesitant sigh, “its getting late. i think the night classes up here are starting soon.”

he was grateful you didn’t seem disappointed that he cut the moment short, only seeing you nod in acknowledgement.

“c’mon, i’ll take you back to the infirmary,” riki pushed himself up, guiding you back to the stairs. he was a few steps out before he realized you hadn’t followed.

you looked at him with a small, but true smile, “thank you riki.”

he averted his focus back to the ground before spitting out a clumsy, “yeah, of course,” before you started following him down the stairs.

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notes: written chapters. the bane of my existence.

permanent taglist: @sweetiejaeyun @17ericas @jiiyen

taglist: @lo-la17 @tkooooop @hoteldelyoona @who-tf-soddhi @feet4enha

@celli-ohs @kiss4noo @wildtigerlili @bee-the-loser @tasnemluvs

@rikidaze @lunaritex @kkamismom12 @nishiriks @moonshoon

@blvengene @sleepyyujie @yjwxfxr @notab1tchwho @sol3chu

@getoxo @meowmeowjang @dksfml @vixialuvs

[mintymuses-podcast-edition]

It's taken me a while but now that I'm older and have listened to TMA a few times, I have a much better appreciation of the character arcs in season three and four. The first time I listened to TMA was sometime mid-pandemic, fresh out of high school and very much stuck in a realm of black and white thinking. Characters were only good and only bad. Maybe it was also the pandemic and the way it interacted with my mindset; more likely it was just. Me being 18 and not fully understanding how to interpret these characters. But I think I get it now.

Back then, I didn't really like any of the characters because - in my mind - they were terrible friends(not even really friends, more just people he spent time with) to Jon and just didn't understand the stuff he was dealing with. Becoming something other than human is a hell of a process and they were all very cold to him during this, something I didn't get. My mindset was usually on main character with good goals = good guy that needs allies. Now I can see it a lot clearer.

Martin lost his mom, Jon, the only coworker he had who had been with him from the start of their stint in the archives, and - even though at the time it seemed like a good thing - any direction from Elias. Everything was uprooted, and he withdrew into himself. He saw an opportunity to help who remained, with Peter, and he took it. Yes, it made him act harshly to the people that reached out to him — but depression and loss doesn't always make people just sad, it makes them bitter and angry when they isolate. I heard the Lonely compared to depression and it finally clicked for me. Yes, he acted like an asshole a few times to his remaining coworkers. He was in pain.

Basira was - at the time - the only one who made it out of the Unknowing alive. She was alone, and she could only count on herself. So when people came back, she still stuck to that thinking because it was the only thing she could do, the only thing that felt right when her other half was gone. She didn't share plans and rushed into things because she needed to be in control at all times and handle it herself, needed to be able to. She was cold to Jon when he went through the dietary intervention(lol) because he became an element she couldn't trust again, after just starting to put some back into him. She withdrew again.

Melanie was someone I used to be incredibly confused by, mostly because I didn't understand her anger and how she used it to fuel herself. It seemed so strange that she'd mourn the loss of something that was likely killing her from the inside out, but the thing is it was attached to a part of her that gave her the strength to carry on. Her anger was her identity and it had been carved out of her; she had no spark left under that and she had to relearn what it meant to be. I didn't understand just how distressing it could be to lose a "negative" part of oneself the first time I listened, because at least she was alive? I didn't understand how much of the self could be lost doing that, even with good intentions.

I think Georgie is the one I was most judgemental towards, because when I first listened, the idea of abandoning a friend that needed help seemed incredibly cruel and selfish to me(seeing it only from Jon's angle). She distanced herself from him when he needed the support of friends most — but now that I've lived more I understand how hard a choice that probably was for her, and also how important it was that she made it. Narratively it was a bad time - she didn't know that ofc - but it probably had been bubbling up for ages. How many times had she been trying desperately to help Jon when he wouldn't even extend a hand to accept that help? Helping people is important; desperately trying to help people who refuse it is a lesson in insanity. At the time, I had never cut someone off for my own health like that, but now I get it. She did what she could until she couldn't anymore.

Idk exactly where I was going with this but ultimately they're all such well-written and human characters going through incredible hardships; no one is going to make good choices when they're under such pressure, no one is going to be 'the good guy' because they're all suffering and reacting to it in their own ways. It took me a few years to see it exactly but it is so worth it 🙏 moral of the story is if you don't entirely like a character when you're younger, visit them again when you're older and have more perspective

[dunmeshistash]

Getting side tracked but dungeon meshi chapter 67 actually makes me insane, has anyone wrote their thoughts about it? Cause I do not think I have the capacity to describe what I think about it myself.

He brutally murders his sister out of love man, his little sister he just wants to protect, and he also did it so brutally and personally to save Marcille from grief...

He abandoned Falin once because he could not deal with the ugliness of her suffering... But now he's facing it head on with all he has...

The little soft smile right before it all goes down...

How brutal and violent the whole thing was, bloody and ugly, and he did it all out of love, he murdered his sister without a wink of hesitation, because if he hesitates he cannot save her.

Makes me want to yell

[lemongogo]

they should get to kill each other at least twice .i think

[littlecrittereli]

✨️how you draw so well, I'm IN LOVE with the story ✨️✨️✨️ how Chris looks exactly when he's out of control, could you doodle what he looks like :3 I LOVE your drawings <3✨️✨️

Thank you so much! I'm glad you're enjoying it! And ofc, I've been meaning to make some art about this...

In the Jaguar suit of cours, Diego has always been partial to cats.

To the outward gaze, he kinda just seems... zoned out. There are moments of clarity or recognition, but for the most part he almost doesn't react to much besides Diego's commands.

[g0nta-g0kuhara]

you can't be a good leader, let alone an ultimate-level one, if you can't work with people or connect with them on a personal level? DICE are referred to as 'friends bordering on family' for a reason. just because he doesn't do that in game doesn't mean it's like 'oil and water'/something he's fundamentally incapable of

I meant that he's like that *in the game specifically*. Of course he's close to DICE, or else they wouldn't've been in his motive video. Hell, outside of the killing game he probably would've worked just the same with the other v3s. Its just the situation that he's in that has him acting on edge and paranoid, pushing the others away do better do what he wants in what he thinks is for their own good. And so he eschews collaboration in favour of trying to pull the strings from outside to best "lead" the others through the killing game as much as possible.

[gomzdrawfr]

i love your art so muchjhh 😭💕🫴🏻 but sometimes i forgot just how heart breaking your angst art can be (Ｔ＿Ｔ) idk how you do it…but i love it all still even if im sobbing on the floor!!!!

hiiiiii thank you wahhh haha <33

as to how i angst...i think somewhere in the blog i mentioned before how I do it but basically I project a lot when i do those sad arts, especially on bad days uhh if that makes sense?? XD would not recommend this as a tip btw im just that kind of person and being honest SKAJDHFKJ

[xiaeom]

i don’t know if i’m reaching but something about asmodeus’s fall is so gutt wrenchingly devastating because of the fact that it parallels the type of love many people face before and after “puberty” — before, he became a demon everyone doted on him often and proudly but after the fall he became deprived of the same innocent affection -> from angel to object (??)

[bat-zilla]

LIL DUDES AQUIRED

[dreadfutures]

.

I love Solas, and I love Solavellan, because I find the character and story so compelling, but sometimes I feel like a fake Solavellan

to me Ixchel and Solas has kind of always been about two friends who both suffer from the same affliction and they are the only two people who can ever understand it, the affliction being outside (duty, responsibility, guilt) and inside (inherent fatalism in philosophy, viewing the self as unworthy, haunted by despair) and though

they can't at first forgive themselves or find the strength within them to stay out of their dark spirals, they can do it for the other. and how important that is. that's love. the smooching and everything is on top. the knowing what dark predators haunt the other person's psyche and saying I'll be there with you when the wolves come, we'll survive together. the I know exactly who you are and how ugly it is and I love you for it and I see the beauty still. the I will never get tired of you even if youre never "fixed." that's love right. that's Ixchel and Solas to me.

so like yeah they have been Together for about like 170+ chapters. they're not being tested about being pulled apart by duty or fear anymore, they're testing the strength of that bond in those dark ugly moments that come for us all. and mostly theyre good. mostly they're just on an adventure together.

somehow it feels like I'm a fake Solavellan 🥲 like early dpdf captured something and... getting together, having truths revealed, this *aftermath* is like I left that behind somehow. like it's beyond what Solavellans want. idk. I think about other fics that are post- truth coming out and staying together and they're very different vibes, I think, you know?

I like my action/adventure fic, I like them together, I like having moments where they find that there is still a dark corner they haven't swept out into the light yet and the way it's still scary for someone to want to know those ugly parts of you that they maybe haven't seen yet. I like having them be mostly utterly confident in each others competency. I like them united against the unknown together. but like did everything about them peak in Here Lies the Abyss, you know? or maybe Wycome? I'm so nervous about everything in TBG :'( it's just hard for me RN in my heart idk to feel confident of like. where it Fits into fandom besides "blue loves lore and wants to explore metaphysics with Ixchel (new perspective) and Solas (wise, experienced guide)"

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh

[this-should-do]

me when i meet with my colleges first out trans teacher who is like a celebrity with me after one of my teachers puts me in contact with her again (i had interviewed said trans teacher 4 years prior and hadnt met with her since) and she tells me tjat my teacher had so many positive things to say about me, about how i was one of her brightest most well spoken students and that she (within like 5 minutes of having been talking) immediately sees exactly what my professor had been talking about and so many super implied positives about me that i would never had known about and i dod everything in my power to avoid prying for more details but even what i heard was soso nicies

[enhanced-operatives-division]

Greetings Starstruck enjoyers, I bring a fic that has been brewing in my head on and off for a couple months, hope you enjoy :]

[gracemarkss]

finished s4 in my txf rewatch so i'm here's my top 10 so far. these are vaguely in order.

10. oubliette (s3ep08). this episode gives us soooo much big brother mulder. his gentle insistence that lucy, despite everything she's been through, is strong and capable and has value - that she can save this girl (and he's right). when scully calls him out on his overidentifying with lucy and he insists not everything he does or feels goes back to samantha...but when lucy dies, you know he's losing sam all over again. he can't save them all, he can't even save most of them, but by god does he try.

9. memento mori (s4ep14). cliche as hell but the fact that it opens with scully's sensual voice over reading her romantic diary entries which are addressed to mulder...insane. both of them facing a terrible reality, deep seated fears - losing her and abandoning him (is dying a betrayal?) the fact that he's ready to make a deal with the devil. the fact that skinner DOES. death vs love, fight!!!!!

8. beyond the sea (s1ep13). gillian is insaaaaane in the episode like how could anyone involved in this show not think she was capable of anything and everything? scully is such a great character in part because of the constant tension that exists between expectation and desire. the things she should want, the things she wants to want, the things she actually wants. she craves her father's approval while chafing against the weight of his expectation. the "i love this job" "you love your father" exchange goes craaaaaazy. and that's not even getting into the role reversal!!!!

7. pusher (s3ep17). another cliche but god does this episode go hard. another spectacular look into mulder's psyche and another situation that highlights the depth of their connection. when he kneels down in front of her and hands her his gun...i wonder how many times mulder walks into a situation and thinks that maybe he'll die. that maybe he wouldn't mind. i wonder how much scully knows that (her fear here makes me think she knows, and it terrifies her.) but all's well that ends well i guess (them holding hands).

6. end game (s2ep17). i just love that the narrative forces mulder to choose between samantha and scully and he tries to rig the game to save both. from "nothing else matters to me" to if anything happens to scully i'll kill everyone in this room and then myself. there's obviously a lot more going on here and i love all of it but that's my main takeaway. oh also dd rules in this ep. his regression back into a lost little boy saying "i'm sorry, dad," bill mulder you are bones.

5. wetwired (s3ep23). another classic "what are you afraid of" episode and this time the answer is "the prophet you are following turns out to be false." trust is their most valuable and sacred currency. the potential loss of that is truly devastating. let's not even get into the fact that mulder thinks scully's gone missing (again) and it's his fault (again) and he has to break this to her mother (again) and let's not talk about the fact that maggie defends mulder to scully and trusts him with her daughter's life despite everything. and let's definitely not ever mention the scene where he goes to id the body.

4. paper hearts (s4ep10). yet another cliche but there's a reason these episodes are well loved and considered among the best. "it's somebody though" just sums up everything you need to know about mulder. he is so deeply hurt and so good despite it all. he really is the best boy. another ep dd is superb in.

3. demons (s4ep23). part of the reason i love this episode is just because i think the premise of mulder drilling a hole in his head and injecting ketamine in it is hilarious. but also profoundly sad. can you tell i have a thing for mulder angst yet? and episodes that highlight how deep and loving his and scully's relationship is, however you interpret it? she's the first one he thinks of to call when he wakes up in a bad situation. she drops everything to be there for him. she won't stop him, she'll just take the keys and drive. what can i carry for you. what can i do. i will not let you go alone. another great example of dd's ability to play mulder at his smallest - when he tells his mother he needs to speak with her with his head down and his voice pitched just a bit higher...i'll jump.

2. ice (s1ep08). truly what needs to be said. i know this is a ripoff of the thing but i've never seen the thing so this is better probably. stuck in a small space, paranoia at the top of the world...also the guy who plays the landlord in new girl is here and i love that. both dd and ga are also both crazy hot in the ep. i think it just rules even as a standalone and is a great way to introduce someone to the series. just fun and sexy and tense.

3 (s2ep07). HE'S WEARING HER NECKLACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

honorable mentions: lazarus (s1ep15); darkness falls (s1ep20); little green men (s2ep01); the field where i died (s4ep05); grotesque (s3ep14); terma (s4ep9).

[ganondoodle]

so, except for that one painting i still wanna finish im gonna tone down the OC stuff again, zelda work resumes now (°ー°〃)

[yellllowstar]

slowly I'm recovering the beauty of discovery

(creature by half•alive)

(textless + timelapse below cut)

[copia]

FOR THE LIGHT OF OUR SAVIOUR (SAVIOURRR) HIS MACHIAVELLIAN GRACEEE(GRAA AAA CE) AND IN THE SHEEN OF HIS SPLENDOUR (SPLENDOURRR) THERE IS A BETTER PLACEEEEE!!!!!! LETSGO