#i really hate having to move house
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Hey gang!
So due to some unforeseen circumstances with our landlords elderly parents moving back to Australia, my family and I have to move.
Ideally, we would like to find a place by the end of November, to avoid Christmas, however we do have until late Jan to find somewhere.
Not finding somewhere until January however will mean I will need to pull out of tabling at MFC as moving is ✨️expensive✨️
For those who don't know how the Aussie rental scene works.
Many houses here are paid for monthly, but also require a Bond. This bond is generally a month of rent. This means that we essentially need to fork out 2 months rent once somebody accepts our application and that's not even including the actual cost of moving.
So what does this mean?
Most houses to fit our needs and budget fall into the $400-$500 per week range, which means that our month advance plus bond is looking to be around $4000
So I'm going to be REALLY pushing and trying to sell my art over the next couple weeks so we can afford this. Because we also still gotta pay our current rent till we leave as well (currently 410 a week)
This also means that while I will be away for the 9th, 10th and 11th Nov, rather than taking a week off art afterwards, I'll be streaming more commissions.
So
✨️If you have some Christmas art you want to get in on early COMMISSION ME!
✨️If you want art of your character with one of mine (or drews) COMMISSION ME!
✨️want a pic of your blorbo smooching grimace COMMISSION ME ILL DRAW IT ALL
✨️ IF YOUD JUST LIKE TO DONATE TO MY KOFI well that would be ultra sweet actually, thankyou 👉👈
All this to say
PLEASE COMMISSION ME
I'm gonna put a goal total of 4000, any of that that doesn't get used for bond will go to paying for movers and boxes and food.
Thankyou and please be patient with me if stream times are whack cos I'm having to look at houses
💜✨️
#my art#commissions#commissions open#i really hate having to move house#digital art#commissions are open#dnd art
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mira !!! :]
#isat#in stars and time#isat mirabelle#isat spoilers#<- due to act 3 optional content !#the img might be being chewed due to weird canvas size oops ah well#one of these miras is not like the other#one of these miras doesnt belong ASFASFSDAFA#a majority of these are based on things mentioned / that happen in the house cuz i thought itd be fun to draw :D#so like the wilting plant is from gardening room dialogue#the poster with ppl holding hands and sparkly eyes is (i think??) from some SAPSAPSAAP dialogue in one of the first rooms#i tried looking around ISAT to see if it's also in there too but couldnt find it so uh correct me if im wrong if thats NOT an exclusive LOL#side note the 2 in the poster are some old nuz ocs isatified ASDFASFA#funnily enough tho they are from 2 different games if they actually ever met they would hate each others guts i think. hmm...#however both are also the most qualified to help with promotional stuff so theres that ASDFAFA#mira looking at her bonding proposals is sorta on the tin but#the fact that she has like right next to her while she sleeps in her dresser makes me :(#cuz to me it potrays how much theyve been weighing over her cuz of how close shes been keeping them with her vs putting them on a bookshelf#or something idk if that makes sense i dont have proper words atm#but uhhh moving on chalkboard is from one of the optional events#which i think is! important!!! i dont think ive seen many ppl talk about it but!! yeah!#however i too do not have words on it atm but!!! yeah!!!! moving on for now!#the 'mira' that is really just the change god is ofc from the change god event :]#aaand ofc the iconic finish from mira towards the king#and then some misc miras with swords for funsies tbh ASFAFA#but yeah! i like mira a lot actually but as with many things i do not currently have many words to properly articulate *why*#all i know in my heart of hearts is that she is near and dear and special to me personally#one day. one day i will be able to gather my thoughts in a cohesive manner but that day. is not today!#anyway tag talk over :]
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you don't have to post this.
I'm just happy you nodded to how destructive that blog is. I'm glad to see some resistance to that blogs fucking existence.
I'm sorry anto. Parts of me is happy you've slightly moved on from HL just so that hopefully didn't barb you as bad as I'm sure "bitch of the blog" wanted it to.
Yes she self-submitted it. She does that with all her worst ones. It's for attention - and blatantly visible in her discord servers. Do not take it to heart.
I will post this because if you and I feel similarly about it, there’s bound to be others.
I’ll say it with my whole chest: that entire blog is a joke and an excuse for insecure, mean spirited people to harp on others. I blocked the entire page basically right at the beginning when I started seeing it pop up in my feed, but from what I gathered when my attention was dragged there by the anons in my own inbox, it’s full of people who:
A. Hate the game and all the characters
B. Are jealous of other creators and their success
C. Are too lazy to write their own stories yet have the gall to criticize other writers’ work
The fucking audacity to make a blog like that and defend the blatant bullying with “well we’re allowed to dislike things and have our own opinions” is so unbelievably lazy it’s not even funny. Nevermind the fact that there’s nothing anonymous about half the asks there— I could clearly tell who certain asks were referring to. Maybe the whole thing started with a few harmless polls (which is what I saw at the start) but it’s transformed into something so nasty that to defend it just leaves a sour taste in my mouth. Fuck that blog and fuck the people who feed into the toxicity.
#asks#if you have absolutely nothing nice to say about the HL fandom and you hate the characters so much maybe LEAVE ???#DISENGAGE WITH THE CONTENT ???#no one is holding a gun to anyones head telling them to stay in a space they dislike#moreover if the creator of that blog really did sent the ask targeting me themselves then get the FUCK off my blog#cause for them to follow up the original ask with a second one saying ‘HEY BULLYING WORKS SHE FIXED THE STORY’#just means you’re grossly obsessed#how many times was my blog/ao3 account checked for them to see I went back and edited the story ??? fan behavior. get lost and get a life#fucking sickos the lot of them#let me spread my ass cheeks so you can lick my crack a little better#I’ve had thoughts galore on that blog for a while so I’m just saying my piece now and moving on#if you like that blog or affiliate with it in anyway that’s your business but here ?? in my house on my blog ???? this is not a safe space
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our outdoor unit went caput right before a snow storm wow amazing the universe wants me dead but i will not let it take me before you know who
#i hate being a homeowner#no i love it#but i hate it#like yes its my house and i dont have to deal with a landlord#and i can put holes in the wall and tear up the floors if i want#but what do you mean i have to pay my own money to fix things????#the previous owners really screwed us#every important thing needed to be replaced 10 years ago#our water heater went out the first year we moved in#now the outdoor unit and the guy said our furnace will also need replaced because its just as old#all of our smoke detectors also need to be replaced#we shoulda negotiated when we were buying#but we just wanted to get it over with#dont buy a house kids its a trap
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˙ . ꒷ 🍰 . 𖦹˙—
#im currently at my sister's place. she wanted me to take care of our dog while she and my mom goes home to sort through their stuff#i have a very unpleasant headache after waking up early after no sleep. walking to the psychiatric for an appt. then having minor issues to#get here bc the train tracks were... smth?? and the train was late and idk. it ended up being painless to get here#then i went to buy groceries and then took the bus here. since i've been here once it is easier for me to navigate skskks#now im here and im happy to be with my dog :3 i havent seen him for an entire month :(((((#but it feels weird to be all alone.... i dont like it actually :// i mean if i didnt have my dog here it would be AWFUL#i dreaded a bit to take my dog outside bc she lives on the third floor and he cant walk down the narrow stairs. so i have touse the elevator#but that went fine!! its still not as easy as just opening the door and then go straight outside tho T-T!!!!#idk. i realize that im just.. a person who dont like change. i have lived in the same place my ENTIRE life. i havent moved once.#and even if it isnt as nice anymore bc um literally thousands of ppl have moved in the past couple of years... it isnt as calm at all anymor#BUT. i fkn love the environment and scenery. there are so many beautiful and pleasant places to walk. and sit. i just love and need to walk#i know every road and walkaway there.. i know which trails are calmer and nicer etc. we have parks and forests and all that#here is like just housing areas. like apartments and houses and stores and schools. and roads. roads everywhere... cant find a path without#a road next to it ://// it isnt calm at all bc there are always cars :( and um idk how im supposed to go for walks when there arent anywhere#to go. so yeah what im saying is that even if the place i live has gotten worse.. i still feel. like thats my home.#idk how to live anywhere else. and to think this might be the year i HAVE to move. i .. dont know how to adapt and settle into another place#i LOVE where i live. i love how its built and the neighborhoods and everything. i feel so so attached to that place. i know this is life etc#but since i have lived there my entire life and just now being away from it in a place that has 10% of what my home has im like.#idk it feels really bad and im just not into life at all rn. i wanna live in a place i like and just rot into it. never leave.#i dont like change... im realllyyyy homesick rn T-T esp being alone without my family sucksssss i hate it
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Ok peace for a few days everyone buh bye!
#im in the home stretch of college and dared to think about transitioning when i get to move out and it made me like so happy i cojld#cry just imagining it n it felt the most achievable it ever had. poof! all gone. i sincerely am feeling very paranoid so im logging off#social media for a few days bc my entire dash and fyp is just how scary everything is#and kind of making ms want to put a gun in my mouth im not gonna but it feels really fucking bad rn. well make jt though we have before we#will again. i just hate having to see that mans face on every tv screen outside my own room in this fucking house bc my parents are neck#deep in this bullshit. ok. thats my vent byebye.#delete later#hal hour#ive been typing on an anon asking about my poem i will finisb and post it as well
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im just lookin thru my archive rn cuz ive been posting fairly actively since like. july. debating if i need to do another #mentalhealthbreak or nah….
its not that ive run outta post ideas or anything(cuz my brain never shuts tf up), its just been kinda hard lately to keep up with the community aspect i think. i dunno. maybe im getting a bit burnt out again too
this is kinda the longest ive ever held a fixation consistantly, but the fear of slipping back into the Nothing Era where i got nothing to keep my brain occupied has me hanging on ig. i feel like im not done yet either like waiiiitttttt ive still got piles of wipssssssss i gotta make gay people realllllllll sigh
im only human im a messed up human blablah it makes good practice for adderall at least(not that its really been working) i just dont wanna be in a state where it feels like a chore yknow? like im not an influencer im a gay lil tumblr.com blog ffs
another dramatic emotion filled sigh………im gonna be staying out in the middle of the canadian sticks(farmland n woods n a couple beaches nearby) this winter for awhile, so maybe i’ll be able to figure out how to get some good chill time. or go more insane. (likely get more insane)

#(pic is from marvel comics presents 97 btw)(nice logan design in that one)#on one hand i hate how my brain never stops talking. the whole psychosis thing doesnt really help with that either.#on the other..my adhd makes it so its hard to hold my attention long enough to distract myself#so i dont really got a choice#i dont really socialize that often either. theres people i dm back n forth with but im not really a talk first kinda guy#or reach out kinda guy in general. got that Whats The Point style depression#and its probably my autism too lol#apparently i wouldnt be entirely isolated where im gonna be staying tho. maybe.#cuz my grandma mentioned that one of the nearby farmers kids is around my age#(gonna be staying in a room at my grandmas place)#and he recently moved back in after having some struggles. we got that in common ig.#they got like 6 kids and hes the only one that didnt wanna be a farmer#it’d be a miracle if i ever interacted with the guy tho#one of his younger brothers walks the dogs near the house sometimes so i could try talking to him ig#kind of a bitch to try to find friends after highschool..#4 fuckin years after highschool……
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The platonic yearning is strong tonight boys
#not me daydreaming abt moving in w my friend instead of nightdreaming (going to sleep) like I should be#i started brainstorming our interior design and I showed her#(but didn’t tell her it was for our hypothetical house) and she said she really liked it#and now I’m dreaming abt playing w her cat even tho I hate cats#and cooking for her even tho I’m shit at cooking and she has so many dietary restrictions she can only have like three foods#i need to go to bed#platonic love#platonic yearning#qpr#queerplatonic
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Folks I really need to [remembers suicide jokes are detrimental to myself and others] book an emergency psych session
#personal#raven rambles#im really struggling#found out today that if my dad's workplace bullying lawsuit doesnt go in his favour next month#that my nesting partner and the labrador and the mini foxie and I would be kicked out of the granny flat#and we would have to rent the back room of my parents house#which is basically the situation we were living in seven years ago#so essentially my nesting partner and I are looking at marie kondo-ing our possessions and packing them#because the moment my parents find out is when we are being told we either get to stay or have x amount of time to get out#and i am NOT about that life I hate my parents having so much control over where I live#basically hes looking at selling his car so that he can buy us a place to live that moves#silver lining is that maybe if we live in a caravan or a kotorhome#also lmao i cannot schedule an emergency session because I have $5 left til february 10th#ya know what that means!!!#i dont have enough money for chicken nuggets :(#anyway im fine like im not at all okay but im fine#i am not going anywhere at all i am safe i am just venting
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when will they invent an applying for disability benefits that doesn't include flogging yourself in front of 10 of the most ableist people you've ever met in your life, including a judge who will p much just automatically deny you anyway
#i really need to get on it finally aoiejfaoi but the last time was so fucking shitty and then i still got denied#bc my god damn psych meds person screwed me over bc she thought rebirthing was clearly all i needed to become not-disabled or whatever#but now if i start again i have to start going to see doctors and get diagnosed w a bunch of physical shit probs on top of my mental shit#i feel like i should have done this years ago but i've been too afraid to go to doctors bc no one fucking masks anymore 😩#but we want to get tf out of this house asap given recent events and i feel SO guilty about being a financial burden on my wife#and we're planning to move in w our best friend so i don't want to be a burden on her too like aoweifjaowief#idk i feel bad bc i feel like i should be able to work bc i'm probs similarly levels of disabled to both of them#but just can't pull it together awoeifjaowij#this is probably just internalized ableism (all of it really) but i just. can't talk myself out of it 😩#and on top of that. it's like. having to balance ever wanting to ACTUALLY get married vs. being able to get benefits so i'm just OIFJAWEOIF#i hate this country lmao#i'm so tiiiiired#*dykeposting#negative#delete later
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I complain from a place of complete and utter selfishness.
One of my housemates fell and broke one of her ribs a bit over a week ago. She's not working for at least 2 weeks and so her friends have been coming to visit her and make sure shes alright..... I'm so happy she has so many friends worrying about her but there has been much more traffic in the house lately and it stresses me out! I don't like when there are people I don't know in the house 😩
#like i get that im being mega selfish#but it still makes me really uncomfortable i cant help it#i still have to eat and refill my water jug and just move around the house#but when there are people around i dont wann get out of my room#i hate it!!#i hope she gets better soon tho#brain dump
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I should stop pretending I’m not southern
#post brought to you by an old cd of country music my grandma sent me#(she’s clearing out her house cuz she’s moving and she thought I might like it it’s an old burned cd of songs she and my grandpa liked#that I would always ask to listen when we went anywhere in their old pickup truck and I’ve been listening to it#it’s mostly Johnny cash Dolly Parton and various bluegrass and it’s like. yeah. I actually loved this music)#I should get back into a lot of the country artists I used to listen to#and then stopped when I started pretending I hated country cuz I didn’t wanna be associated with it or the south or being a fucking redneck#like damn did you know I used to wanna learn to play the banjo? maybe I should look into that…..#I’ve mentioned my rodeos n shit and I still have my cowboy boots and spurs and hats n stuff from when I rode horses#maybe I should stop consciously getting rid of my southern accent….#I mean I’ve never been able to completely shake it so most ppl can’t really notice#but if I tell them where I’m from they’re like ooohhhh that makes sense#but yeah if I don’t focus on it when I talk I have a much thicker accent than it sounds like#I should stop doing that…..#idk the older I get the more I miss the south and the culture and stuff#and also it pisses me off how ppl talk about the south#both in general and where I live now#actually had someone once tell me I didn’t ‘sound dumb enough’ to be southern#like man fuck you#anyways the point is I missed country music and I think I’m gonna start listening to it a lot more <3#cuz what point is there in pretending I don’t like it#and who cares if every person I’ve ever been close with fucking hates country music and would make fun of me if I ever even BEGAN to say#I liked it so anyways#kaz rambles
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oh for a job that doesn't make me want to kill myself
#i hate being unemployed and i would hate working in customer service again even more but there is nothing else#all the jobs that fit my degree are massively competitive and all the graduate jobs on careers websites are just about training ai or#similarly awful things#i would just like to have a job that i was vaguely good at and enjoyed and that paid well enough that i could move out of my#parent's house again and rent a nice little flat and decorate it how i liked#and tbh i'm still gutted about that one job i really really wanted that i didn't get. yeah it's been nearly 2 months but i'm not over it!!#emma vents
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whats this about klopp and salah arguing then
#been out all morning looking at beds#when i came home from uni i wanted a new bed and i wanted a double bed#but i didnt have the money so my mum was like well i'll buy you a new matress#and she bought the worst mattress in the world i just came home one day and it was there i never got to test it!!!#anyway i decided i want a double bed and i can get it before we move it makes no difference really#and i found a really nice one in a really nice colour so i think i will go back in the week and order it#and the estate agent called and said the people buying our house are sooooo excited#im glad someone loves the house because we all fucking hate it hahahaha#stacey speaks
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should i start tai chi?
#οτι θυμάμαι χαίρομαι θα ελεγε κάνεις#i want to start working out again#but i dont feel like going back to taekwondo (this may or may not be because im kinda avoiding everyone i know in general)#i hate going to the gym although i could just go to the group programs? they have a gym like that in my sisters town and she does pilates#but eh#id i just need to do something. i need to start moving again#(the tai chi idea came bc i watched aftersun today and i just listened to the bears in trees song#and something else. maybe in sth i was reading? i really cant remember but it was somewhere the other day)#i also need to have an excuse to leave the house more than once every few weeks#pfff#idk what other options i have around here#the taichi isnt a real option btw cause the nearest place is not that near#jo says stuff#personal ramblings
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i’m at that point where university is no longer a novelty so i have to put active effort into going there
#did i just cry because im stressed and im not understanding what we’re doing#maybe#i also cried because deutsche bahn fucked me over#and i’m out of the house so much#and i need to spend hours on trains full of people and little chldren yelling and talking on their phones#and now it’s getting really cold so i’ll also have to spend so much time waiting in the cold at stupid train stations#i hate this#i’m so pissed#i’m getting my period i think that’s why im thinking like this#why can’t things be easy#i need to move so bad#i’m thinking about asking my sister if i can temporarily move in with her but that would be too much#but it would make things so much easier#student housing should be free#how am i supposed to afford living closer to university???#i’m tired of traveling about 6 hours every day
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