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starryjkoo · 3 days ago

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Please only Jungkook and Jungkook himself is to blame for people (a.k.a his own fans) always twisting his words and actions. Y'all have never bothered to ask yourselves why it's always JK who has to go through this and not the other members, especially the other two maknae line members, since people are just as obsessed with them too?

It's because for years JK has constantly contradicted himself in his words and actions, especially when it comes to Jimin. One minute he's hot, the next he's cold. One minute he says something nice about Jimin and then the next he's back to being an insensitive prick. One minute he's initiating touch with Jimin, the next he looks like he's close to physically throwing up when Jimin does the same to him😅. One moment he does something for Jimin that'll convince you that he truly loves him just a bit more than the others, the next he goes above and beyond for EVERYONE else while making it seem like it's impossible for him to even do the bare minimum for JM (his trip to Hawaii for Tae vs him saying "nah" when Jimin asked him to come watch him practice the next time ???)

No one but JK is responsible for the way his fandom is right now and for how they are treating Jimin. Things like these don't just stem from nowhere. These are his FANS projecting this "he's uncomfortable with Jimin/he hates Jimin/them" narrative onto him and his actions keep the narrative alive and consistent, while naturally the ones who care about Jimin/his relationship with Jimin will be sensitive to how he acts and expect him to be better.

Of course it's obvious that JK loves Jimin a lot and the "uncomfortable" Jikook moments have never bothered me personally because I've always had a reason about why they exist/why JK is like that with Jimin and it's a positive reason. But we can't deny the existence of certain things and why those things exist in the first place.

From an objective standpoint, it makes sense why there are people who believe he doesn't like Jimin and why every time he shows that he does in fact like Jimin or even more-than-just "like" Jimin, they resort to saying he's pretending or that he's being "forced". It also makes sense why there are those who have "high/unrealistic" expectations for him.

And BOTH those sides make up his own fandom, unlike others like Jimin whose antis are the one projecting the "he's fake/pretentious, doesn't really love JK or anybody" personality onto him. It's all from and because of JK.

The same way someone can be infinitely kind, patient and self-less but the one time they snap and express anger for some reason, people will be like "yep this is their real personality, these are their true colours, they were just pretending the whole time"

I’m procrastinating and avoiding doing something rn so I’ll go ahead and give this a long and serious answer even though I’m not super keen on asks like this. I think other people have probably already addressed this topic a lot better than me, but I’d like to spend a minute defending JK since I’ve already addressed the way fandom treats JM a few times on here.

First of all, it’s always JK having to go through this because JK sits at the center of the two most popular ships in an extremely toxic shipping culture where they are constantly fighting over his validation. That’s why his words and actions face the most amount of scrutiny and why they’re weaponized more often than any of the other members (even though it still does happen with other members). I think it’s really as simple as that. tkkrs especially are constantly twisting his words and actions painting him as a villain because Jikook makes them insecure, which is the same reason why they think JM is evil incarnate.

JJKs are half tkkrs, half Y/N’s (or kpop stans who hate and have always hated BTS) and they hate JM more than anything because on top of shipping, he’s also JK’s “main competition”. Of course they want to think that JK hates JM as much as they do when most of them are constantly projecting onto him. I’ll also add that there are a lot of JM/TH overly biased shippers who take everything JK says and does extremely personally too, and then they get their feelings irrationally hurt and take it out on Jungkook. A lot of ex-jkkr PJMs are extra vicious to him because of stuff like this too.

I’m not sure why you think these people are making rational objective observations that have any validity just because they consider themselves his “fans” when most of them are extremely biased and often have some sort of agenda when claiming that he doesn’t like Jimin.

The vast majority of examples of JK being “rude” are just projection and people taking everything he does in bad faith too. I don’t know what examples you mean where JK was allegedly so “insensitive” towards Jimin tbh, because I just constantly see people exaggerating normal teasing and playing to seem like some massive evil thing. And if you’re talking about clips from 200 BCE when he was literally barely a teenager and they were all like that - I don’t think that’s fair to hold against him either.

But let’s say that JK had a moment where he was insensitive - so why isn’t he allowed to be human? Have you never had days where you’re tired, or grumpy, or don’t want to be touched, ever had a moment where you were unintentionally a bit insensitive, a joke that fell flat or came out meaner than intended? Never gotten shy, self-conscious or distracted? Ever had a disagreement with friends? Gotten a little too competitive?

And it’s not just JK who has had these moments btw, it’s all the members because they’re human and none of them are perfect, they’re allowed to experience occasional negative emotions, allowed to have bad days, or quiet days, or days they don’t want to be touched, or are a little snippy with each other. I can't even begin to imagine having to navigate that kind of environment while dealing with my own negative emotions and having everything recorded, picked apart, and weaponized like that.

I feel like you’re basically saying that JK is never allowed to have an off day, and he’s never allowed to be in a bad mood, or say no to something he doesn’t feel like doing? He also can’t tease vmin or be sassy with them the way they are with each other, or the way most of us are with our own friends & family? He can’t get a little shy with JM either? He can only be happy and positive 100% of the time or risk validating psychos who want to claim he hates his bandmates? How is it his fault that people interpret everything he says and does with the most bad faith takes imaginable because of ship and stan wars?

Also I’m going to need a better example of JK not being willing to do something for Jimin because agreeing to go to Hawaii for a fun trip and sky-diving vs not wanting to go to the HYBE building (his workplace that he was mostly avoiding at the time) to sit on the floor and watch JM practice for hours is not really comparable. I don’t even think Jimin cared nearly as much as some people act, he was teasing JK and encouraging him to get out more and smiling throughout that entire exchange, it was never that serious tbh.

What gets me about that whole situation too is that JK was more outwardly supportive of JM during FACE era than he was for any other member, but it’s still not good enough for some people for some reason. And you’re talking about JK being willing to go to Hawaii, but didn’t he travel two more times with JM after JM came to him in NY? Didn’t he agree to JM’s show idea, all this on top of having an insane schedule? Not to mention the night before Jeju, did he not cook Jimin four servings of whatever food after a long plane ride simply because JM asked him to?

There are so many examples of antis taking JM’s obvious playful behavior and twisting it to paint him as a villain, so isn’t it vastly unfair to then turn around and do the same thing to JK? If we can recognize the absurdity in painting JM as an abuser because he reacted to JK’s scuzzi teasing by cursing and gentle roughhousing, shouldn’t we be able to apply the same kind of logic to the people trying to make JK seem like a bully over his reaction to JM purposefully riling him up over ham? Were the “insensitive” remarks you’re referring to ever that serious, or was it normal teasing, friendly jabs, and playful roughhousing? Why is it okay for you to interpret all JK moments in bad faith, blame him for it, and hold it against him forever, while not holding others to the same standards? Shouldn’t we be able to recognize the absurdity in interpreting either of their actions in such obvious bad faith?

I’m just going to have to heavily disagree that there’s ever been a logical objective basis in thinking that JK dislikes Jimin, or that he’s uncomfortable with him. I’m not talking about shipping, I mean the people who think that they’re not even friends, because that’s actually an insane thing to think, and no normal fan is going to look at JKs behavior, where he has had countless examples of encouraging, complimenting, having fun with, and supporting Jimin - who he literally enlisted together with - and then think that they don’t like each other, or that they have a bad relationship, or that JK is annoyed with or dislikes JM. What normal, rational person would actually think that JK would enlist with someone who made him uncomfortable? 99% of the things people use against JK are just normal friendly teasing, and I don’t think he should be expected to act like a friendless robot in fear of a handful of weirdos twisting his words so they can be shady and nasty towards Jimin on social media.

And honestly if people don't like JK's personality or how he comes off that's their right but it's also just their personal opinion, they shouldn't project that on JM who clearly doesn't mind and seems to really enjoy their dynamic a lot. If he didn't like it, he would call it out. Instead he has zero worries about fighting with JK in the military despite Jin's cautioning that even friends of ten years end up fighting. I've seen the hot and cold thing before, and maybe I'm just mostly coming up blank because I'm not one of those jkkrs with encyclopedic knowledge, but I think any moments like that were really not so serious to hold such a grudge over, or to be interpreted so extremely and then used to justify such illogical takes.

Also you’re saying that JJKs interpreting JKs words and actions shadily means something, but you know that PJMs have done the same thing with Jimin right? Like it was PJMs who started that whole thing during Yoongi’s concert trying to imply that JM shaded JK when he said ARMYs were having more fun that night. Also I’ve seen PJMs posting that quote where JM said he was being careful about what he posts online while in the military to shade other members (and then they got mad when iirc KTHs took it personally lol). I also remember PJMs hyping up the fact that Jimin didn’t post for Seven (until he posted JKs hot100 #1). And I remember the whole debacle of that music show hug where both KTHs/PJMs were acting like it was the coldest, most impersonal hug they’ve ever seen and proof the two were no longer friends only for all that to be followed by vicnic and a lot of vmin moments. I can't remember the exact context but I think they've tried to do this with YG too. Solos projecting their negative feelings onto whoever they bias is not anything new, and it’s not something that only happens with JK. Pretty sure a lot of PJMs and some JM biased spent a good chunk of CH2 trying to push the narrative that JM was purposefully distancing himself from tkk because a lot of them simply wanted it to be true, only for the last half of the year to be the literal opposite of that. I've also seen a few PJMs push the fanservice narrative despite that literally being something he receives an insane amount of hate for.

It’s also extremely typical to see stans projecting mean girl personalities onto whoever they bias, I see people do it with groups all the time. Hell, ARMYs just did the same thing with JK’s comment about APT mentioning only Bruno implying he was shading Rose when I sincerely doubt that was his intention. That’s just how people operate in stan spaces, and it’s not the fault of the idols. Another example being aespa, those girls seem like they’re friends with half the industry and yet I constantly see their stans trying to pretend they’re shading every other group.

JJKs being what they are is probably a whole other discussion but no I do not blame JK for his solos being like that at all (just like I would never blame JM for PJMs). He also has a lot of token stans and success stans who don’t even like or respect him as a person, so no I don’t think they understand his personality or have any rational basis in interpreting his words and actions so negatively.

Anyway it's sad that humans always choose to focus on the negative. Someone could show they love another person or a thing all the time, and the few times they do something towards that person/thing that others perceive as the opposite of love, they'll latch onto it and conclude that person doesn't actually love the person/thing. And the other times they show that love won't matter to them anymore. The same way someone can be infinitely kind, patient and self-less but the one time they snap and express anger for some reason, people will be like "yep this is their real personality, these are their true colours, they were just pretending the whole time"

Anyways, I totally agree with this? Which is why your ask has me a bit confused (like is this bait to get me to yap in defense of JK 😭). Isn’t this like the perfect example of victim blaming then, because you’re saying it’s JKs fault that people are choosing to overlook all the good and nice things he does or says to focus on only their negative interpretation instead. Maybe your point is you feel that JK is genuinely being rude or insensitive, which is where I disagree, because imo 99% of the time it’s people choosing to misinterpret his actions to fit their narrative/agenda, and the 1% is normal, human emotion and all seven of them have had their moments.

Jungkook shouldn’t be held to impossible standards just because toxic fans exist, he doesn’t deserve to be dehumanized like that. I just fundamentally do not believe that he or any of the members need to cater to these types of fans, I don’t think they should have to live their lives being paranoid about what they say and do being taken out of context and twisted to that extent. Again, the only people who think that JK hates Jimin are super baised solos and shippers, not normal average fans, and JK shouldn’t have to alter his behavior to cater to those people who will most definitely find a way to twist his words and actions regardless of what he says or does, antis even do this with BTS in general, with Namjoon especially for fanwars all the time trying to twist his words. None of the members should ever be held at fault for their toxic solos or shippers.

anyways, I never found the right moment to post this video, but it's vaguely relevant here so I'll go ahead and add it. every time the discourse about the members being rude to each other pops up I think of this ProZD video about friends

youtube

edit: edited paragraph eleven for clarity 🫡

#discourse #ask #anon #jikook #i didn't mean to dip into discourse #now i have to balance with two fun jkk posts #when i get a min #but no i really hate the way that some jkkrs treat jk #i think a lot of people get very oversensitive #bc of how toxic the shipping environment is #jungkook

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creatingblackcharacters · 1 hour ago

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Hello! Sending it here again:

I play an mmo game which recently had a big character model update, it's still not perfect but we're getting there! They're sharing behind the scenes work on curly hairstyles, for example, which just... weren't there for the longest time. Oh the beauty of scandinavian white-centering... (sarcasm)

anyway, I'm from eastern-central Europe, I play on eastern Europe servers. Seeing someone with a character that's not white is... pretty rare, honestly. So rare that when I do see someone using a character that's clearly meant to be a POC, they're very often roleplaying. Recently I saw a player whom I know for a fact is white, as I know them irl (we're not friends, don't even talk much but I know what they look like) and their character used to be white too before the big update.

So my question is, does that count as digital blackface, and what even is the consensus on digital blackface as a whole? I used to be in a facebook group about unlearning racism (used to because it got deleted after some admin drama, I think? If anyone knows a similar group, let me know please) and there, most Black members agreed that if someone is white, they shouldn't be using Black emojis for example (the topic of mmos never came up, I think). I don't remember the exact reasoning but I think it was the same explanation as actual blackface. But then there were some Black people saying it's going too far and we should be focusing on "actual issues" instead. I know that's to be expected, I'm trans and I know all too well that a community is not a monolith. But seeing the player reminded me that I don't actually know that much about it, and I've seen you educate people before. I hope it's okay that I'm asking you, I'd love to do some further research as well though (I love learning things, I just also don't yet trust myself to find actually good sources).

I hope this ask makes sense, english is not my first language and all. So if I wrote something wrong, please assume I meant well, as I still don't know how to word things properly in english sometimes.

Thank you for doing what you do, btw. I really appreciate having someone compile everything like you do here, it's one of my favorite creative blogs on here.

Okay so I sat on this one for a minute to make sure my answer wouldn't change.

1) there is no one consensus. White people don't agree on everything, neither do we 😅. This would just be my opinion.

2) I definitely don't think you should be using Black emojis if you're a white person, no. That's overt Blackfacing. DEFINITELY don't pretend to be Black if you aren't!!

3) for me, I think designing your characters as Black for online play can be okay in theory, as long as you're coming at it respectfully. Like, I'd have to trust that you actually wanted to learn how to play as someone that didn't look like you, that you actually cared about Black character features and presence in games as a whole. Especially on a game where you get to design the character, versus when you're forced to play as a Black person. It's hard to trust the intentions of white people online, especially when far more often than not the good intent is just... Not there 😅. So for me, if someone asks you why you designed your character, be ready to answer, answer truthfully and answer well! If you're playing as a Black character design because "big tough guy" or "big dommy mommy" yeah you're just digital Blackfacing amongst other racist issues. But if you actually have good intent, and are willing to learn, then you'll be able to stand on that when confronted.

And again- that's just my opinion! I would listen to other voices on it as well.

#creatingblackcharacters #thatsjusttips

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the-bad-batch-baroness · 1 day ago

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Where's Mommy?

Wolffe x Lilith Sestri (OFC)

Part 19

Summary: Wolffe's wife suddenly dies, leaving him a single father in the middle of a war.

Pairing: Wolffe x Lilith Sestri (OFC)

Characters: Wolffe, Cara (child OFC), Comet

Tags & Warnings: heavy angst, mention of death, off-screen death, spousal death, grief, hurt/comfort, family fluff, funeral

Word Count: 1.1k

Author's Note: Merry Christmas everyone! I come bearing a new chapter! Wow, can't believe it's been four months since my last update 😅 Sorry for disappearing on y'all! I can't commit to my previous bi-weekly schedule of updating, but it should be a lot better. Personally, I think this chapter is trash, and far from my usual writing (my beta says otherwise), so please extend a little bit of grace as I get back into the swing of things. As always, please enjoy 💚

Beta: @/beating-a-dead-plot

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As Wolffe approached the room, he could hear Cara laughing and Comet talking in a funny voice. He shook his head at their silliness, but the smile that crept onto his face probably looked just as silly. He loved hearing Cara laugh, even though he was never good at causing it. His wife was the one who did the tickling and the funny voices at bedtime that made her laugh until her sides hurt, not him. He just liked to watch and listen, however, hearing it now only made the hole in his heart grow bigger. It was another reminder of what he lost. Perhaps out of selfishness, Wolffe opened the door to interrupt the raucous laughter.

"Daddy! Daddy!" Cara yelled as she jumped off the bed and ran toward the door.

Wolffe smiled and bent over to hoist her up onto his hip and then gave her a kiss on the cheek. "Hey, baby. Did you have fun with Comet today?"

Cara nodded her head, eyes bright and crinkled with a wide grin. "Mhm. We went all over the place and, and we saw the tree!"

"Yeah?" Wolffe said, feigning a little surprise. "What'd you think? Was it like you imagined?"

Cara hummed. "It was smaller than I thought. Comet said there are planets with bigger trees."

"He's right," Wolffe said. "I've seen trees as big as buildings."

"Really?" Her eyes went wide with wonder.

"Yup. Some so high, you can't even see the tops."

"I want to see those!"

Wolffe chuckled. "Maybe someday."

"Why not now?" Cara whined.

Wolffe sighed and set Cara back down on the ground. "Because, I said so."

What was he supposed to say? Because he was fighting in a war and she wasn't allowed to come along? Or that she could get hurt or even die? His wife always told him there was no point in trying to reason with a child's logic because they'll always have another question buried among a thousand other questions, and a firm 'because I said so' was enough to get the job done. The other thing she taught him was to change the subject.

"Remember when you asked if you could come out with me this morning?" Wolffe asked.

Cara nodded.

"Want to come out with me tomorrow morning?"

Cara nodded with enthusiasm.

"Good," Wolffe said. "We're going to meet someone, so I want you on your best behavior."

"Who?" Cara asked.

Wolffe hesitated as he thought of what to say. "A… a new friend of daddy's. She'll be staying with us for a while."

Comet side-eyed Wolffe at the comment, but Wolffe glared back with a silent warning. Comet knew they were shipping out the next evening, and the wheels in his head were already turning about who this new friend could be. However, Comet also knew that Wolffe would kill him if he dared to mention their deployment to Cara before he did, so he kept his mouth shut, even though it ate him up on the inside.

"Will I like her?" Cara asked.

"I think so," Wolffe said. In truth, he had no information about the woman. He didn't know what her name was, what she looked like, who she was affiliated with, or what she was capable of, but he didn't have a choice at this point. It was either the mystery nanny or the mystery Jedi, and he'd rather take a chance on the mystery woman who Fox most likely already checked out. "She's a nanny."

"What's a nanny?" Cara asked.

"They help take care of children," Wolffe explained. The light huff that came from Comet did not go unnoticed and Wolffe turned his head to glare at the trooper with a sterner warning. This was hard enough as it was and he didn't need Comet breathing down his neck about how wrong it was to lie to his child. Without a single word, Comet rose from the bed and walked out of the room, visually perturbed and practically snarling out of Cara's view. Wolffe would deal with him later, but for now he still needed to convince Cara. "She's going to help me take care of you, like Mommy did."

Cara blinked, her face scrunching in thought. "Oh."

There was an awkward silence in the room and Wolffe didn't know how to fill it. He couldn't go into much more detail, or she might catch on that he was leaving, and now he didn't have Comet as back-up if he screwed up. She was a smart kid, after all, and was getting smarter every day.

"Will she be my new mommy?" Cara asked.

The innocent question punched Wolffe in the gut. The breath was sucked out of him to the point where he thought his lungs would never reinflate as images of his wife flashed across his mind, and in that split second, it felt like she died all over again. He knelt in front of Cara and shook his head. "No, baby. Mommy can't be replaced, ever." His voice quivered with emotions that he thought he was better at hiding. "Do you understand me? You're not getting a new mommy."

Cara frowned, eyes watering, but not a single tear fell. "Okay."

Wolffe took a deep breath to settle himself and then pulled Cara in for a hug. Another twisted tug-of-war was being fought between his mind and his heart. He desperately wanted to get away from everything that reminded him of his wife, including Cara, but he also desperately wanted to hold every last piece of her that he had left, which was Cara. It made him feel sick to want both at the same time, knowing that he could only have one at a time and both at the cost of the other.

"We're gonna be okay," Wolffe whispered, more for himself than for Cara. "I promise."

Cara tightened her embrace against Wolffe with little hands that used to be so tiny they couldn't even wrap around his finger. He'd give anything to have those cycles back, and he'd do it all differently. He wouldn't let his wife give birth alone, or miss birthdays and anniversaries, or miss Cara's growth markers or the doctor appointments. If he could go back, he would desert and start a new life somewhere far, far away from the GAR's reach, where he could take care of his family and enjoy them longer.

But that was why clones didn't get into romantic relationships, that was why clones didn't get married, and that was why clones didn't have babies, because that kind of life was never meant for a clone. Clones were bred for one purpose, and that was to serve the GAR from life until death with loyalty and honor. Love, peace, and happiness were never part of the original equation, and the loss of his wife was just proof that the galaxy hated him and his kind. He'd never be able to go back, and he may never be able to move forward. Only time would tell.

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zepskies · 23 hours ago

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Merry Christmas Eve Eve!!!!!! 🥳❄️❄️

It's my favorite holiday for sure! And thanks for this little gift you've given me, Wayne. 😘❤️💚

Ooooh, snappy 😆 I've been diving into the books a bit and I do think they still have some tough things to talk out. The show's making it look way too easy lol

Ok more and more you're making me want to dive into the actual books!! It's true, the show really did shoulder through that pretty quickly lol.

But I loved all the kindergarten teasing and bantering between them. Such a fun moment! 🤍

Aw thank you!! 💜💜 I had a lot of fun creating the sibling banter moments between Russell and Colter, whether it was light and teasing or tense and angsty.

Read this fully in Bobby's voice. You totally nailed his cadence too! You're killing it here, Alex!! 👏👏

Omg thank youuu! I watched some episodes over again to try and get Bobby's voice right, even in this small moment. 🥰🥰

Ahaha knew it! Right on time too 😂 He really cares for her a lot after such a short amount of time already 🥹❤️

He really does. 🥹 I really tried my best to show that they do have this connection that's special (and worth not letting go of?), despite only knowing each other for a short time. 💕

You're a hopeless romantic. You wouldn't do this to me, right? Right, Alex???? 😭

They do share similarities 🤣🤣

Lmfaoo right?!! And not just because they're both actually "Justin."

(They could actually be bros, like what? 🤣)

I do love how resourceful he always is 🤓👏

See, that for me was actually the challenge narratively. Writing Colter and his intelligence believably, since of course, I'm not the brilliant author of the actual books. 😅😅 But I hope I faked it well enough in this story! lol

Like the reader, I'm not surprised but was hoping it wouldn't be this bad. Geez, Charlie, you call this getting your shit together? 🙄

Oh, Charlie's a ridiculous hot mess lmaoo. He's not doing himself any favors, even when he tries to "fix it."

Why? No, not the woods!! 😂 (Being lost in a forest is one of my worst nightmares lol)

Ya know, I totally get that. 😂 I don't live near forests, but I'm pretty sure Colter would have to come find my ass after 1 hour alone out there in the wilderness.

Russell's dark side is doing things to me... 🫠🫠

Ooof, why do I love a rugged, dangerous but protective man so much?

Figured something like this happened. I do feel for him, though. It's called addiction for a reason ❤️‍🩹 His argument for stealing was hilarious, however. Like, boo, really? Don't pretend you care about the Native Americans now. I think he knows his sister too well and figured this might work 😂

Oooh yeah. ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹 It's certainly not cut and dry.

Oh, you're totally valid for calling Charlie out like that lmaooo. Even the reader is calling him out on his BS. 😂 The way he tries to get "noble" about those Native American artifacts isn't fooling anybody.

You did it, too!!!! The "I love you" goodbye!! 🤣

Omggg you really caught me! 🤣🤣 What can I say, it's the perfect dramatic moment. 😏

Anything can happen from here, and I so hope you enjoy the rest of the ride down the cliffhanger!! 😘💕

Every Second Counts - Part 3

Pairing: Russell Shaw x F. Reader

Summary: One date with your best friend’s brother leaves you wanting more, even though his questionable job and vagabond lifestyle make you want to guard your heart. When your brother falls into trouble, however, Russell is the one you trust to help you find him.

AN: *Deep breaths* Are you ready? 😉

Word Count: 4.4K

Tags/Warnings: Angst, protective Russell, perilous situations, violence, character death, and another (literal) cliffhanger…

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Part 3: "Timer Starts Now"

As he drove away from the museum, Colter could see it even more clearly.

“You like her,” he said, giving his older brother a smile.

Russell glanced at him, then rolled his eyes.

“Focus on the road,” he said.

“Just admit it. You like her,” Colter smirked. “And the fact that she called you for help isn’t a coincidence.”

Russell made a sound of annoyance and shook his head. At this point, he knew Colter wasn’t going to drop the subject.

“All right, we went out on one date,” Russell held up a finger. “It was fun, but we agreed that I’m just not relationship material.”

Colter sobered at that, at the wry tone of his voice. It sounded like Russell liked you even more than he was willing to admit.

“Do you have a timeline on that brewery?” Colter asked.

Russell chuckled humorlessly. “Yeah, I’m just a few dollars short on that one.”

He stared out the window for a while, but he eventually turned back to his brother.

“She called me because her brother’s a vet. Because I know what it’s like to deal with the assimilation process, coming back to civilian life. Trying to figure out where you belong, you know?” he said.

“You think you’ve assimilated?” Colter asked.

Russell shrugged. “Best I know how, anyway.”

“You can’t really call yourself a civilian though, can you?” Colter pointed out.

Russell shot him a look. “Yeah well, neither can you, Colt.”

That created a kind of tension in the car. A call from Bobby, Colter’s analyst, mercifully broke the silence. He’d gotten some useful information on Eddie Mendez, the man Charlie was supposedly working with, or for.

“Well, he’s not the most upstanding citizen,” Bobby said. “He’s a cocaine dealer by trade. Other fun items on his rap sheet include illegal gun possession, theft, and domestic violence.”

“All right, thanks, Bobby,” Colter said.

Great, Russell shook his head. Just what had your brother gotten himself into?

They were getting closer to the bar, and it mentally brought him back to his date with you.

Okay, maybe he did like you. But he also respected and understood your reasons for cutting things short that night. Usually, he was okay with being in a new town every other week, the occasional one-night stands, the skeevy motel rooms and the fast food. It was all with a goal in mind, and that made the hustle easier.

He’d started to wonder though, what it would be like to set down roots somewhere. Doug made it work with his wife and still did his contract work, even if there were some major pros and cons to that too…

Russell was only broken out of his thoughts when he got a call himself, from Dory. He answered it and held the phone to his ear.

“Hey, D. What’s up?” he asked.

“Russell, something’s wrong,” she said. Her voice was panicked.

He frowned, his brows furrowing. “What? What happened?”

The more he listened, the more his eyes widened in shock. He looked to his brother.

“Colter, turn around. Now.”

Russell and Colter arrived back at your house, where Dory was parked out front. She came out of the safety of her car when she saw them. Russell got to her first. He laid a hand on her shoulder in the driveway.

“What happened?” he asked.

She tearfully explained that she found your purse in the bushes, but your phone was missing. She had just picked up your call when it suddenly cut off.

“But I heard her scream,” Dory said, with a stifled breath.

Russell’s mood darkened in response, and the longer he took in the scene. He looked over at Colter, who also wore a frown.

The tracker examined your car and driveway first. Already he found signs of struggle. He noticed a couple pieces of dark glass on the pavement, and when he scrutinized his surroundings further, he picked your broken phone out of the grass. The screen was cracked beyond repair.

Next, he climbed the three short steps of the porch, up to the front door of the house. There were marks on the doorknob, likely scratched by a key. He spotted the Ring Camera next.

Good. He took it right off the wall.

“Do you have her keys there?” he asked his sister. Dory handed them to him and he let himself in. “Let’s see what we’re dealing with.”

The three of them entered your house and found it dark and empty. Colter switched the lights on and got to work, after going back to grab his laptop from the car.

Russell stayed with his sister on the couch, a supportive hand on her back. He tried to shove his anger and upset deeper below the surface.

Meanwhile, Colter had Bobby retrieve the data from the camera. Within a few minutes, he sent Colter a video file, which Colter then played on his laptop. The three of them watched you approach the door.

Someone with a man’s build grabbed you from behind, wearing dark clothes and a mask that obscured his face. You screamed and tried to fight, but the man dragged you away as you struggled.

Russell’s frown deepened as his body tensed with anger again, his jaw ticking as it clenched. And then came the self-loathing.

Rookie fucking move. Should’ve made sure she got home safe, he thought. Better yet, should’ve kept her with me.

Dory covered her trembling mouth and dissolved into tears. Russell tucked her against his side, rubbing her arm. Colter laid a hand on her shoulder as well, but he continued to analyze the footage. He couldn’t make out the attacker’s face with the mask he was wearing, but Colter saw a blue sedan in the background. It peeled off after you were hauled off-screen.

“Why would they take her? What the hell is Charlie into?” Dory said. She sniffled and wiped at her face.

“To keep her quiet after she started digging into his disappearance, possibly. Or for leverage against him,” Colter said, leveling her with honesty. “Someone doesn’t want us to find Charlie. I’m betting it’s whoever he’s working for.”

He thought it was safer if he didn’t tell his sister exactly who Charlie’s employer was.

Dory shook her head in worry. “We need to call the police.”

Colter shared a grim look with his brother. He knew Russell understood the score here.

“If we get the police involved, it’s at least a 50% chance that whoever has her and Charlie…will kill both of them,” Colter said. Dory sucked in a trembling breath.

“Our best bet is to keep digging,” Colter said.

“Let’s go,” Russell said, nodding at him. He stood, parting from his sister with a hand squeezing her shoulder.

“Where are you going?” Dory asked. She got up to her feet along with her brothers.

“Howley’s. It’s our only lead on Charlie’s employer,” Colter replied.

“Okay, but wait—” Dory reached out for Russell’s arm. It was a reflex as she tried to wrap her mind around all of this.

Russell grasped her shoulders gently enough, but he made sure she saw the sense of urgency in his eyes.

“We don’t have time,” he said. “From here on out, every second counts.”

After a beat, Dory nodded in acceptance. She let go of his jacket.

“Okay, keep me updated.”

“Will do,” he said, and he swiftly followed Colter out the door.

The brothers drove in silence to the bar. Colter noted his brother’s tension, and the grim set to his jaw.

“Hey,” Colter said, earning Russell’s attention. Colter gave him a reassuring look. “We’re gonna find her. We’ll find both of them.”

Russell exhaled. “Yeah.”

Oh, he knew he’d find you eventually, and your brother. He just didn’t want to think about how he might find you.

Once they got back to Howley’s, they started by questioning the bartender about Eddie Mendez.

“He’s not here. But that’s a couple of his friends over there,” the bartender said. He pointed them in the direction of a couple of guys drinking near the back. Three of them were sitting at a table playing cards.

Russell recognized two of them. One was the same guy who made the mistake of hassling you by the pool table. He’d gotten a bloody nose for his trouble. Russell smirked at the memory.

“Pete, make a fucking move already,” said one of the guy’s buddies.

Russell caught it as he and Colter approached them. This time, Pete seemed at least somewhat sober, even with his second beer in hand. Another bottle sat empty beside his arm.

“Hey, fellas,” Russell greeted the table. “Little Blackjack, little booze. Looks like a good night you’re having.”

“Do I know you?” Pete asked. His face showed a spark of recognition when he took in Russell.

“Well, you’re about to. We’re looking for one of your friends, Eddie,” he replied.

Pete set his beer down on the table. Predictably, he crossed his arms and closed up.

“I don’t know no Eddie.”

Russell resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

“I realize it’s hard for you, but don’t be dumb. Eddie Mendez,” he pressed.

Pete glanced at his friends, then he stood from the table, drawing himself to his full height. He was a bit bigger than Russell, but a beer gut wasn’t everything.

Russell seized up the man in front of him with an almost lazy grin. By contrast, his eyes were sharp, betraying his true thoughts.

“Now remember. Whatever you start, I’m gonna damn well finish,” he said.

That sure ignited Pete’s memory. He seemed to be remembering your smaller fist nearly breaking his nose. His face fell with an angry frown. Russell smirked.

Colter laid a warning hand on his brother’s arm.

“We’re not looking for trouble. We’re just trying to find someone Eddie might know. Charlie,” Colter said. “Do you know him?”

“No, I don’t,” Pete claimed.

“Like you didn’t know Eddie?” Colter replied, raising a brow. “Where can we find him?”

“Now you are looking for trouble,” Pete spat. “Fuck off, Timberlake.”

Just then, Colter’s phone buzzed in his pocket. He took it out and saw a text from Dory, asking for an update. He ignored the message for now and put his phone away.

Hearing a commotion, he quickly looked up in time to realize that Russell had wrangled Pete into a stronghold with his arm behind his back and had slammed him onto the table. Drinks and bottles rattled and spilled; playing cards fell to the floor. Pete’s friends got up with angry, threatening gaits.

“I think you can point us in the right direction before I break this meaty arm of yours. How about that?” Russell said.

“Hey! No fighting!” the bartender called from the front. “Take that shit outside.”

Colter internally sighed, but he’d have to roll with this, even though this wasn’t how he’d wanted to play it.

“I wouldn’t test him,” Colter advised. “That’s gonna be a bad break. You got good health insurance, Pete? You’ll probably need surgery, expensive bills, a little physical therapy, a few months of recovery time.”

Pete seemed to weigh Colter’s logic, albeit with an angry huff. He waved off his friends and caught his breath while pinned against the table.

“I can’t talk to you,” he said. “I’ll get myself killed.”

“I’d worry more about your odds right now, Pete,” Russell said. He tightened his twisted hold on the man’s arm, earning a strangled sound of pain.

Colter weighed the options here in record time, and he came to a decision. He grasped Russell’s arm firmly.

“Let him go,” he said.

Russell gave him a look of disbelief. “Colt?”

Colter implored him with his eyes. Trust me.

After a few more seconds, Russell’s lips pursed, but he let the guy go.

“Ah, fuck,” Pete muttered. After he was able to straighten up, he rubbed his aching arm and shot them both a red-faced glare.

Colter steered his brother out of the bar before a real fight could break out. He knew it’d become a bloody mess, and they didn’t have time for a night stay in a county jail cell this time.

“You better have a damn plan,” Russell whispered, as they neared the front doors of the bar.

“You know I do,” Colter replied.

They later sat in his truck while it was still turned off. Just waiting in silence.

A few minutes went by before the back doors of the bar opened to Pete and his gaggle of delinquent friends. As Colter suspected, one of them made a call. It lasted no more than a couple of minutes. Then, they piled into Pete’s car and pulled out of the parking lot.

Colter started up his own car, and he followed them.

You were led into what sounded like a warehouse. You couldn’t know for sure with this musty bag over your head and your wrists bound together with zip ties, but you clenched your teeth and tried to stop sniffling. Your fear made your heart pump fast and loud in your ears.

Voices echoed around you, arguing, yelling about shipments. You were shoved hard to the ground, and you gasped, instinctively throwing your hands out when your knees hit the hard cement.

“No…”

That voice was all too familiar.

The bag was finally ripped off your head, the edge of it catching in your frizzy hair. You blinked wearily at the florescent lights above, and you wiped at your tears and smudged mascara. Your breath left your lungs when you saw your brother, Charlie.

He was tied to a chair, shirtless and shoeless, beaten and bloody. Some parts of his skin even looked burned. His jeans remained, at least. But his face was hard to look at. His left eye was swollen, his lip split, his cheek cut and bloody. Both his eyes were red-rimmed, and he was sweaty and dirty, as if they’d been keeping him down here like an animal. He looked thinner too.

He stared back at you in dismay, your name falling from his lips.

You tried to scramble over to him, but someone grabbed you by the hair and yanked you back. You cried out in pain.

“Eddie stop! Don’t hurt her!” he shouted. He drew enough strength to pull at his restraints. Your hands reached back on reflex to grasp at the hand holding your hair.

“No, you did this,” Eddie said. He clicked the safety off his handgun and pointed the barrel at your head, right between the eyes. You gasped and froze where you sat.

“You couldn’t make it easy, huh? Well now, I’m making it real simple for you,” he continued. “Even more simple, now that we cut out the middleman.”

Eddie gestured to what looked like a woven potato sack laid behind Charlie’s chair, but really, that was just part of it. As your eyes scanned over, you saw the narrow shoulders of a man with a familiar dark blue blazer. It was stained red with a bloody hole carved through the back. Your breath stilled in your lungs.

Eddie glanced over at you, his lips curving. He walked over to the dead body, turned it over with his boot, and dragged off the potato sack to reveal the lifeless blue eyes of Dr. Feinman.

Your eyes widened.

You let out a blood-curdling scream that startled a pigeon out of the warehouse, from where it had been perching on a high support ledge. You leaned back on your bound hands, but you could go no further as one of Eddie’s men grabbed your shoulder, pinning you on the ground. His annoyed face told you to shut the fuck up.

Charlie grimaced and turned his face from the sight of the body. Both shame and hate filled his eyes when Eddie bent down to face him.

“Tell me where you hid the goddamn weapons,” he demanded.

Your lips trembled as new tears brimmed over and streamed down your cheeks. You’d suspected the truth, but it was different from being faced with the reality. Charlie was the one who stole from the museum. He’d likely been doing a lot worse for the past few months. And somehow, Feinman had gotten in between. He’d also paid the price.

Your brother saw your disappointment, and he accepted it. But lacking an answer, Eddie pistol whipped you in the face, earning a pained cry from you as you fell back onto the ground. You had to blink the stars out of your eyes.

After his shock wore off, Charlie’s face hardened with fury.

“Oh, don’t give me that fucking face,” Eddie said. He grabbed you by the back of the neck, startling another sharp breath from you. “If you don’t tell me what I want to know, what I did to you’ll be child’s play, compared to what I’m gonna do to her. And you’re going to watch.”

Against your will, tears filled your eyes while you stared at your brother. You were terrified, and Charlie knew it. He was scared too, but he also knew then what he had to do.

“I buried them,” he admitted.

“You buried them?” Eddie repeated. He brushed back his dark hair with the same hand that held his gun. “Ain’t that ironic. All right, where did you bury them?”

“In the national forest, less than an hour out,” Charlie replied. “But you won’t find it without me.”

Eddie shook his head on a sigh. “Of fucking course.”

He gestured to his men waiting nearby. He wordlessly gave them the order to untie your brother.

“All right, Charlie. Let’s go for a drive,” he said, and gave you a sleazy smile. “You too, sweetheart.”

He hauled you up onto your feet and kept you close to him, with a hand like a vice around your arm. God, you hated a sweethearting man.

You held your breath. You could only pray that Dory had noticed you were missing…and that Russell and Colter could find you before it was too late.

Please…

It was still dark out, but the sky was beginning to lighten when Colter pulled to the side of the road. The car they followed had stopped in front of a warehouse near an industrial downtown area. Colter spotted the blue sedan from the Ring Camera footage. It was parked out front.

With a shared nod of understanding, Colter and Russell climbed out of the truck and took the time to arm themselves properly before scoping out the warehouse.

“What does a drug cartel want with museum artifacts?” Russell remarked as they were gearing up. “That’s still not adding up for me.”

“It is odd, but maybe the idea came from Charlie,” Colter said. “He had access. Maybe he saw it as a way to buy their trust.”

“Okay, then what went wrong? Why’d they take her?” Russell replied. “I don’t know, man. Something feels off here.”

Colter nodded in agreement. “We don’t have all the pieces yet.”

But they were about to get them. They moved closer to the warehouse, with Russell heading towards a side door and Colter going around the back. They saw a few men crowded around a TV in the corner of the warehouse. Behind them were crates upon crates of what surely was product. Probably tens of thousands worth of coke.

Jesus, Russell thought. It was nothing he hadn’t seen before, but still. This was a serious operation.

Colter caught sight of a lone chair under a bright corner of the room. It was stained with sweat and blood, and some cut ropes hung from the seat. He alerted Russell to the scene with a subtle gesture of his raised gun. Russell’s face turned grim. He nodded minimally, then pointed with his eyes at the group of unsuspecting men. The brothers drew in closer.

Russell fired a shot directly into the TV screen, making it crash onto the ground. The men startled like rats, but they soon faced Russell and Colter’s guns. When one of them reached for the gun tucked in their pants, Colter aimed directly at him.

“I wouldn’t do that,” Colter warned.

“Where’s Charlie?” Russell demanded. “And his sister.”

He aimed his .45 caliber M1911 at their friend Pete, who had Cheeto stains on his shirt.

“How about you, Pete. You finally wanna share with the class, before I blow your fucking face off?!” Russell shouted.

The depths of his voice reverberated widely in the warehouse. It set the tone for things to come, if he didn’t get some cooperation.

Pete shifted on his feet, betraying his nerves. His forehead was starting to sweat too.

“They’re not here,” he admitted. “They left a while ago.”

Russell flexed his finger over the trigger of his gun.

“Tell me where,” he said.

Eddie wasn’t exactly an outdoorsy kind of guy. He kicked his boot against a tree while leaning against it.

“Fucking rock in my shoe,” he muttered angrily.

He was getting more and more frustrated with the uneven terrain (and the mosquitos) the longer the five of you trekked onwards: including you, Charlie, Eddie, and two of his men, Rick and Kevin. Both of them had guns trained on your back and Charlie’s.

“I’m sorry,” Charlie said quietly to you.

You shook your head. Disappointment didn’t even begin to cover what you were feeling as you looked at him, but at least they’d given him a shirt to cover his beaten torso. His face wasn't so lucky.

He righted you when you struggled on the gravel and loose dirt in your ankle boots. Your hands were still tied together too.

“What the hell happened to you?” you asked, as you caught your breath.

“I needed the money,” he said, though he knew it wasn’t an excuse. “I was his bodyguard.”

“He’s a drug dealer,” you snapped. “What the fuck were you thinking?”

“He was my dealer,” he admitted, though his gaze was heavy. “I’m sorry. I just couldn’t bring myself to tell you, but…a few weeks after I left rehab, I slipped. I never really did quit. Just got better at hiding it.”

You let out a sharp breath, and tried to blink past your tears. Another disappointment, another heartbreak for the books.

“But when he offered me a job to pay off what I owed, he wanted insurance that I’d stick around. To prove myself,” Charlie explained. “He came up with the idea to rob the museum.”

“Why was Dr. Feinman involved? Did he find out?” you asked.

Charlie nodded with a sigh. “He caught me the first time I tried to steal the artifacts. I…I lied. Told him we planned to sell them. So instead of turning me in, he wanted to be cut into the deal.”

“What? Why?” you said. Your former boss was many things—a stuffy, self-important man chief among them—but you’d never taken him for a thief.

Charlie gave you a wry look. “Owed his second wife up to his eyeballs. Alimony’s a real bitch.”

You shook your head. That explained why Charlie hadn’t yet been a suspect in the theft. Feinman had probably helped cover Charlie’s tracks. But whatever shortcomings Feinman had, he hadn’t deserved to die like that. A shudder went through your body, remembering his lifeless eyes. You breathed out slowly and tried to rid yourself of the nightmarish image. You managed to push past that to ask your next question.

“And who chose the Native American weapons?”

Charlie’s lips pursed. He glanced over his shoulder. “He did. Thought they looked cool.”

Eddie smirked and waved his gun at him, spurring you both onward. Charlie kept walking and turned his attention back to you.

“The way I figured it, the museum shouldn’t have them anyway.”

Your lips pursed at that. You sort of saw his point there, however convoluted his justification, but putting those artifacts in the hands of a drug dealer was even worse.

“And this is so much better for them,” you said pointedly.

“That’s why I couldn’t go through with it. Tried to get out of the whole damn mess,” he said. “I know what you would’ve said to me. And I knew if I ever saw you again, I wouldn’t be able to look you in the eyes.”

Your tears welled up again, when you saw the sincerity of his gaze.

“Okay, this touching little scene is making my balls itch,” Eddie said. He grabbed Charlie’s shoulder and turned him around. “Where the fuck are we going? If you’re trying to pull something smartass here, Charlie, I promise you, you’re gonna regret it.”

He cocked the safety back on his gun and pointed it at Charlie’s chest. Charlie raised slow, placating hands.

“It’s just a little further,” he promised.

“If you’re giving me the runaround—” Eddie started.

“Then what? Without me, you’ll never find it,” Charlie barked back.

Eddie’s face tightened, and he pointed the gun at you instead. You sucked in a breath.

Charlie quickly held up his bound hands again in surrender. After a beat of tension, he pointed up when he heard rushing water.

“Hear that?” he said. “I buried it on a cliff near a waterfall. We’re getting close.”

Another stretch of silence filled the clearing.

Eddie weighed Charlie’s words. When he was mollified enough, he lowered his gun away from you. At his command, Rick and Kevin kept you and your brother moving.

Charlie glanced to his right side. He realized that you all were walking near the edge of a steep hill that careened downward. Taking in a breath to center himself, he turned to you.

“I love you, you know that?” he whispered.

Your brows furrowed. You opened your mouth to reply, but you found the look in his eyes suspicious. Like he was saying goodbye.

That was when he swiftly turned. He snapped the heel of his hand into Kevin's throat and grabbed his gun while he was choking. Charlie shot him in the chest, then he clipped Rick in the shoulder.

Just as Eddie began to raise his own weapon, Charlie met your look of shock with his own determination.

He pushed you down the hill.

AN: I know, I know. Two cliffhangers in a row is cruel, but I promise we're getting to even more fun action and cathartic moments in Part 4! 😘

Next Time:

Russell called your name as he searched through the dense trees. Sunlight was beginning to filter through their leaves in dappled color on the trail. It gave him a better view ahead.

He stopped short when he saw a splatter of blood on the ground, painting the dirt and some dead leaves. A well of unease rose in his gut.

He headed toward the sound of running water, and he soon found another cliff. Just beyond it was a waterfall, and river below. Seeing no signs of life, he pulled back and continued to call your name, and all the while, pushing down his worry.

“Russell?!”

▶️ Keep Reading: PART 4

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#lovely review!! 💓💓#reader appreciation #lovely mutuals #every second counts feedback

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warcats-cat · 1 year ago

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human interaction!!

what's your favorite thing to write? what's your favorite part of the writing process? your least favorite?

what other fandoms, besides the ones you've written, would you want to write for in the future? If you were forced to write something about a fandom you knew very little about (let's say you get a summary of the plot and characters, plus whatever you might've absorbed via fandom posts from your mutuals), what fandom do you think you'd have the most luck with and why?

if you create OCs, what's your favorite OC that you've created? have you created any villain OCs? do you prefer Gen fics or romantic fics (both to read and to write)? who's your favorite comfort character? who's a character that probably shouldn't be comforting, but is anyway? who's a character that other people seem to love, but you just don't get the hype?

I hope this helps a little!! I'm always down to chat and trade asks!

20 questions 🤣🤣🤣 ok:

1) my favorite thing to write is also my favorite thing to read! Hurt/Comfort!!!!!

2) Most favorite part - Daydreaming about the characters/storyline while pretending to be mentally present at work!

3) Least favorite part - Making the words go 😢

4) I usually write what I know best at any moment - I've been eyeing some of the art/fic in the FNAF fandom lately but just kinda dipping my hands in, not really ready to dive in. I just love my Sanders Boys, ya know?

5) I think I could BS something from one of the classic animes, like Death Note or Naruto. I did watch Ouran Highschool Host Club and a few other sillier animes but my fandom experiences with those ended at looking at fanart. ((Wait, can Pokemon count? Can I do Pokemon? I know some Pokemon 👀👀👀))

6) my OC's are my DND characters and by far my favorite is Ink of Dreams, my cat-person thief 😍😍. Also Thistle, who isn't really an OC so much as my OC's pet 😅😅😅 If anything I guess HE would be my "favorite" because I talk about him all the time and he's in three dnd campaigns and I had a plushie made and I'm trying to have a movable puppet made...

7) RN I have a villain OC for a WIP I'm working on (read: poking with a stick like a dead animal) and I do enjoy writing her very much. She is an agent of chaos and I hate her so much, it's great 💜 I don't have a lot of experience doing the just straight up ridiculously depraved, but writing her is also giving me practice for writing future LRH adjacent fics involving Gabriel 👀👀👀

8) uuuuhhhhhh I like cuddles 😅😅😅😅 I'm fine with both, just not big on smut. I think I'm a little bit romantically starved tbh because sometimes I pull up a comfort fic that I know is gonna make me cry because I just kinda *need* to cry if that makes sense? I'm asexual and finding a romantic partner is hard 🥲 But anyway yeah I'm fine with both! RN I'm on a baby fic kick so send me babies 💜💜

9) My current comfort character is Patton from Sanders Sides, and no one is surprised. 😅 I just vibe with him a lot because in also a very emotionally-open and emotionally-invested person, I tend to be a caretaker and I like to be prepared in case someone around me needs help. And RN with fandom drama especially, I just feel connected with Patton. I also experienced a period of my life where I tried to help but made some mistakes and then was demonized and called an abuser, manipulative, gaslighter, horrible person and then I found out I was autistic so the things I was doing (like leaving a party to sit outside and decompress when I was overwhelmed and crying) weren't as common-sense and understood as I thought (aka said behavior was called me going off and crying to isolate people and make them come take care of me) ANYWAY. It's kinda funny because I've always bounced between Patton and Virgil for TS; it was mostly Virgil at first and then I had a gap where Good Omens took over, and then it was back to TS but now more vibing with Patton

10) I can't really think of a comfort character that would be considered "not good" besides like. The characters I call my "Anime Boyfriends", Jake English and Dirk Strider from Homestuck, but that's more because like,,, the creator of Homestuck kinda uses a *lot* of slurs,,,, but also I only read like 1/4 of the whole comic,,,, and I go off of fanon interpretations,,,, from ask blogs c2012,,, so.........

11) I do not understand the obsession with Janus and Remus. I'm gonna admit - I don't like them in canon. At all. I am ok with most fanon interpretations, but I just don't like them. I like the "Core Four" (Logan, Virgil, Patton, Roman) and that's it. And I do NOT look forward to the "orange side". And to be 100%, I get frustrated because I want to read poly fic of just the core four and so many people are tossing Janus and Remus in the mix and I just want to find the ones that don't and it takes *forever* to filter out all of the different variants of ships. 🥲 obv I'm not going to tell anyone else to stop enjoying their ships and characters, but I'm not gonna go searching for the stuff that I don't enjoy, either.

Thank you for the ask friend!! 💜💜 it's very much appreciated lol, and a lot of your questions really made me think 😅😅

#warcats answers #xman friend #ask the author #author 20 questions #lol #sorry it took so long #i really had to think for some of these 😅

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catastrxblues · 9 months ago

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EVERMORE by taylor swift (feat. bon iver) — “and i was catching my breath, floors of a cabin creaking under my step. and i couldn’t be sure, i had a feeling so peculiar, this pain wouldn’t be forevermore.”

my #swiftiegiftexchange2024 for @lovesickallovermybed!!!! 🫶🏽🫶🏽

#HIII HII HII how are you <3333 SO sorry for being slightly to the party but HII #i saw that you are currently recovering from surgery and i‘m wishing you all the best and =a faster recovery 💗💗 i hope you’re okay and #are feeling and getting much better every day 💗💗💗#i’m your anon swiftie and it was really nice to get to know you!! 🫶🏽 you’re super super talented and your gifs are so so STUNNING #it was such an honor to be your anon for this event and i had such a fun time making this !#i was SO excited when i saw that some of your favorite ts songs are evermore and idsb. really really sorry i didn’t have the time to make #something for both because my laptop went dead for sometime and i ended up only having the time to make this 😭#evermore the song is something i hold and cherish deeply in my heart too and it was something that has seen some of the worst of my days #and so i decided to do this song for your gift instead!#i can’t really gif much and couldn’t even try #because my laptop in which i had installed ps in went rip so i decided to make you this #(slightly messy sorryy) scrapbook of my view of the song! i tried to incorporate some of the descriptive lyrics and the objects mentioned i #the song and i hope you like it 😁!#and because i think evermore is also something that IS meant to be incredibly personal to the people that listen to it #i decided to include some photos (+added highlights on every lyric that has ever touched me which is almost everything as you can see 😭)#of some of my journal pages on which i rewrote the entire lyrics (except bon iver’s addition 😅) in ‘21 when the song meant to me the most!#i hope you're having a great dayy love 🫶🏽🫶🏽#SwiftieGiftExchange2024 #taylor swift #tswiftedit #evermore #*my edits #nadine.mp3

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hailsatanacab · 3 months ago

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Your Favourite Author's Favourite Fic

in no way is this me sneakily trying to get fic recs out of people, but here's my new tag game!

Rules! When tagged, reblog with the fic you've written that you love the most

Not the fic with the most kudos, or the most comments, or the most hits, but the fic that you're the most proud of. I'm talking about the story that kept you up at night, the one that you still think about, the one that you wish more people would read

So, it's time to show off! I strongly encourage - in fact, I demand - that you give yourself some compliments, a well-deserved pat on the back, and tell us all the reasons why it's your favourite!

Then tag five people and make them go through it, too 🥰🩷

I'll tag @wolfjackle, @tourettesdog, @gilbirda, @die-erlkonigin6083, and @thewritingowl to get us started, please and thank you!!

#tag game #fic game #fanfic #ao3 #fic recs #look. i've had a summer where i've not been able to catch up on anything #so this is my not so sneaky way of asking for your best reads lmao #also!!!! the fic that pops off is not necessarily the one that you think is the best!#a lot of what gets popular on ao3 is pure luck (like anything!)#and what you like the most might not be what's popular #and i would really love to give the chance for authors to showcase a fic they're proud of but might not get the most likes #or w/e idk - again i just want to read things 🤣#please link something 🙏#also there's so many people i could have tagged up there #i decided on 5 so it would make it easier for other people to tag but like....#honestly might go back or reblog another chain of this with some more people 😅#there are so many authors i love in this fandom ARHGHG you're all so talented!!!#i am incensed!! i want to tag more people!!!!#i'm coming for you fic authors #i'm gonna get ya with me tag games #anyway i'm gonna go to bed my tags are getting too rambly i am sorry #have fun!!!! thank you for playing!!!!

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generalluxun · 2 days ago

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Ahh this makes it more clear. Ranting is valid. The rant just sounded close enough to what some consider reasoned discourse that several of us newbs were fooled.

I think two of the reasons so many fandom folks still cling are

1)Sunk costs. It's been 10yrs of this.

2)As of S4, none of this really bad stuff had metastisized.

Sure Mari was making some questionable moves in S4, but it still felt like it could lead somewhere. It could have been the one in a one-two punch.

But it wasn't.

S5 Marinette is... I don't know what the plan was. It seems insane. Writer commentary seems to indicate the legitimately thought this was a good/wholesome direction and just.... Wow.

Many people just cling to that pre-S5 Marinette as *Marinette*. They're too invested in the girl-they-knew to let her go that easy. Heck, I'm one of them. Is she gone? S6 will kind of bear this out one way or another.

Calling it the writing is important for context though to a point. Even if they were to shake out Marinette's character and scrub her down until she's the girl you used to love, nothing will *fix* S5. Marinette can be a good person again, but S5 will still be a badly written season. You'll still talk about the series to new watchers by saying 'Yeah and then S5 happens. Here's the cliff notes. Watch it only if you really want to. Here's a couple high points for fun.'

The reason I say even an expertly crafted turnaround that restores Marinette can't save S5 is that- You don't put a multi year damnation/redemption arc into your programing aimed at kids. Kids age out. Kids move on. A 3-5 yr arc is just not responsible in a showrunner. Kids will be left with half the message.

It's important to have NaCl in your diet. But straight Cl is pure poison. 😅

I do get the visceral emotional response though, and I haven't even been here half the time some people have. The Marinette who stood in front of the world and declared Gabriel Agreste a hero betrayed a lot of people, and I don't mean characters in the show.

I get that alot of people go with the approach of "every Miraculous character is deeply screwed by the writers, so it's a writing problem" but at this point this feels like deflecting from the real problem

No shit stories and their characters are written by writers, but so many blogs I see now that go with that approach imo keep on dismissing the point of the problems people are pissed about because "well the characters aren't real, so I'm superior for saying it's the writers fault"

Guys, we KNOW they are fictional characters, you're not unique. But what is happening is that I get less and less out of the analysis posts from these blogs because they're beating around the damn bush especially when it comes to Marinette.

Yes, every character is screwed by the writing but Marinette has been retooled into the self-serving center of the universe who gets by though damn technicalities. This writing pattern is 2 disastrous seasons in, SHE IS THE PROBLEM.

You can try and sugarcoat that however you like by saying that Marinette is a fictional character so its the writers fault, but that doesn't change that Marinette's CHARACTER & WRITING is still the source of all the problems and that stories are being told to get emotional reactions. That's the entire purpose of a story.

No, I don't think people are doing it right by approaching all of Miraculous on a mere meta level. That's not how a story is supposed to be read. The meta level is an additional one on top of the emotional one, not the "rational way" to consume media.

And imo the analysis blogs I see around so much deliver less and less analysis posts I can do anything with. They are so caught up in explaining that the characters aren't to blame but the writers that they sideline why people are feeling the way they do.

There is this persistent dissonance in their posts about how apparently no amount of bad writing can change a character when that's just... objectively incorrect. Marinette for example is SUPPOSED to be compassionate and a thoughtful hero and partner/ leader to Cat Noir. Marinette in Canon though by this point is straight up NOT anymore.

But in their posts it's basically said that if people say that, then that makes them irrational because on a meta level the execution and effect of the writing is apparently irrelevant. Distant meta is king and the only rational way to engage with this story.

And I just don't see the point in that.

The outcome and the emotional effect of the writing is what actually matters. Not the intention behind it (no wonder people are using that excuse to defend Marinette's character. It's another variant of "but she MEANT well"). If Marinette is by now a toxic and even abusive partner and leader to be suck with, then that's the fucking damage the writing did. And said damage is DONE. That's her character NOW. Talk about the theory behind it however you like, the character CONCEPT is not Canon compliant anymore, and nothing is gonna change that besides facing the deeply rooted damage that has been done, analysing those on an EMOTIONAL level so you can then course correct the CANON character through the necessary development into becoming what the character was initially supposed to be.

Call me a dick, but just saying "the characters aren't real" is not a productive way of going about this dumpster fire anymore.

---

Another thing to take into account about the “it’s just bad writing” approach is that, like, it’s not like the way Marinette herself is being written has changed that much. What changed is how the narrative and other characters react to her and her behavior. Marinette has always been self-important, self-serving and self-obsessed, but these used to be treated as character flaws, signs of her immaturity and naivete she’d need to grow out of. Now we’re being told she’s flawless, actually, and has never done anything wrong ever and none of her mistakes were her fault.

Like, I’ve recently been familiarizing myself more with the “my dear diary” teen drama genre, and it really is more of a dramedy genre if anything. Most of these series will have a self-important, self-serving and self-obsessed protagonist and the entire narrative is filtered through their self-centered world-view, because we’re basically reading their diary where they vent about things that annoy or excite them. Now comes the kicker: the “comedy” of the dramedy comes from how comically over the top these protagonists are when they clearly and obviously misrepresent their lives and themselves to the audience. Miraculous is leaning very heavily into this downright selfish protagonist archetype, but actually wants you to agree with the protagonist when you can see, with your own eyes, because this is a different medium, that the world isn’t nearly as unfair to our protagonist as she claims.

Here’s another kicker: if you aren’t laughing at the joke or projecting yourself onto the protagonist, you’re most likely gonna hate the protagonist of most “my dear diary” books. They tend to be the most opinion-splitting characters in their own fandoms, with readers either loving them or outright despising them.

Dismissing these kinds of fandom reactions only when they veer into the negative direction showcases the real motivation of the “it’s all just the writing” crowd. I need to dissociate from the show’s story in order to discuss why Marinette is still so beloved by the fandom, because I just can’t feel that way about her anymore. Similarly, the people dissociating from the story in order to explain why fans are disappointed and outraged by the story, can’t see anything worth getting upset about in the show. They think it’s all okay. They’re not approaching the show purely logically, they are still emotionally invested, they still like the show. Of course the seemingly logical approach to fandom unrest seems to just be defending Marinette and the show, because it is.

It’s basically a way to retreat from the criticism. Like, the accusations of Marinette being a stalker used to be easily sidelined with “it’s just a joke you don’t like” until they made it a sign of canonical mental instability. It was a way to say: "this is a silly thing to be upset about". Now we’re sidelining the abuse apologia with “it’s just bad writing, that’s not what Marinette’s character is”. What these people are actually saying is: “she’s made up, so my made up version of Marinette in my head didn’t do that.” Like, when you have to deny canon exists, your analysis isn’t analysis anymore; it’s headcanons at the very least, completely made up at most.

#ml grief cycle #ml critical #ml salt

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cinnamonsikwate · 7 months ago

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watching the first 2 episodes of frieren last year shook me so bad i still can't get myself to continue it, but between what i remember of it and the nightmares episode of dungeon meshi i can't stop thinking about the ways laios would prepare marcille for his death. what would he leave behind to remind her that he (and by extension all the people she loved and who loved her) are still with her in spirit, even if not in body?

#dungeon meshi #laios touden #marcille donato #i'm a laios & marcille are a secret third thing that can't be defined by language truther but make of this what you will i guess lol #if falin does turn out to have an extended life span due to dungeon shenanigans laios would rest easier but he'd def still worry #dungeon meshi spoilers #she might come across the regenerated kensuke at some point but that one was an accident 😅#i still think he'd train some dogs to accompany her #maybe make a promise w one of the castle staff & their family to keep training dogs through generations so there'll always be a rag for her #would he leave annotations in her magic tomes for her to find years down the road?#oh and he'd rope everyone else in definitely #he'd ask everyone in the party and maybe even kabru et al. & toshiro et al. for good measure #oh and what i meant by frieren shaking me was w each ep i found myself sobbing uncontrollably halfway through #i loved it but it was A Lot for me emotionally #i do remember seeing a post about how one of the reasons himmel had no problem having statues of him made #was bc he was doing it partly in the hope that when frieren sees one she'll remember him & their adventures together #that their time together wasn't just a blip in her life #he may physically be gone but his memory lives on #that really resonated with me #calemonsito notes

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possiblyfunny · 4 months ago

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I forgot how to make posts, but don’t worry guys, I’m still alive-

Ghostly Assistance

Heyyy! I finally drew Leaf! (Plus a slight Aster redesign-) This took way too long, and I apologize for the delay and the overall messiness. She had been sitting in my drawing program as a sketch for two months 😅 but with the Flashbacks up starting in Missing Numbers, I finally got the will to finish it!

Leaf Aoyama belongs to @creatively-cosmic. They have a blog called @themissingnumbers, which you should check out, like—right now.

[Sketch + Extras below the cut!]

Here’s the cover of the book, if you wanted that- (I know it’s crap but I’m tired)

[And for those who are curious, some notes about the art:

-The book is Aster’s. He’s read the book cover to cover well over 25 times. It’s his favorite book on flowers, but he’s more than happy to lend it to someone who wants to learn about flora.

-The content of the art (because there was intended to be a background that got scrapped-) is that Aster was showing Leaf around his secret garden deep in the woods, guiding her so that she wouldn’t get lost and showing her the different flowers and such. (That’s why she has the book-)

-You know how in some video games, you can press a button and whatever special companion you have will show up to give you a hint? (Ex: Navi, Fi, Rotom, Olivia, etc) That’s what Aster is doing right now. Whenever Leaf had a question—he had the answers.

-And if you’re wondering—Yes. Aster did make her a flower crown afterwards. And Yes, he thinks she looks very beautiful with flowers in her hair.]

#Again not my greatest work but here she is :)#I really didn’t mean for this to take so long but life hit me with a 3-piece chicken combo with a biscuit and no drink #I have been DEAD on my feet 😅#Again please excuse the messiness #It was supposed to have a really nice background but I couldn’t get myself to finish it #I’ve been chipping away at it since early July little by little whenever I had the energy #But with How It Feels To Disappear starting I got the will to finally finish it at 3 in the morning-#Was hoping to post it before everything went bad in the flashbacks but what can ya do?#Leaf was actually really fun to color for some reason :) so that was neat #Anyway- Aster is getting a redesign! (Probably anyway)#It’s not a huge redesign- just adding in some details that fit his character and changing the flowers #Funny detail- Aster’s very first design (in my head mind you) had yellow flowers #but when I drew him for the first time he ended up with purple flowers #(plus the yellow flowers tie into his LORE-)#I’m workshopping him right now so let me know what you think about this Legacy version of Aster #ALSO!: AU NAMEDROP- (it’s on the book)#I have plans to draw the faces of my AU at some point so look out for that I guess-#Anyway! I hope I did the homegirl Leaf justice! (Rare Leaf W for the win!)#Missing Numbers #Leaf Aoyama #My Art

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solongshrimp · 17 days ago

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Does anybody have pages 5-8 or 19-21 of pancaketiffy's Nautical Disaster anywhere? And does anyone know if the comic was ever continued past page 23? I wanna see if I can archive it somehow.

UPDATE: Did some more digging and found pages 19-21 (though two pages are labeled as page 21, which seems like an accident but they are two different pages, I'll have them listed in order,) as well as a 24th page. My guess is that that was the last page that was publicly released, but again, if anyone knows about pages past this point let me know.

So now all I need to find are pages 5-8, and any possible pages after 24.

UPDATE 2: Found page 7, so that leaves pages 5 and 8.

Pages I currently have:

Page 1 -- Page 2 -- Page 3 -- Page 4 -- Page 7 -- Page 9 -- Page 10 -- Page 11 -- Page 12 -- Page 13 -- Page 14 -- Page 15 -- Page 16 -- Page 17 -- Page 18 -- Page 19 -- Page 20 -- Page 21 -- Page 21 (b) -- Page 22 -- Page 23 -- Page 24

Concept Art -- Sketches -- Cover Sketch -- Cover WIP

#spongebob squarepants #pancaketiffy #nautical disaster #pancaketiffy's nautical disaster #my post #Something recently reminded me of her spongebob comics #so I found a few of them and have been reading #it's nostagic and the work that went into these comics is admirable to say the least #Squidward's Birthday Gift is easy to find #Somebody uploaded Vacation to the Internet Archive #I actually found Tiki Ceremony on a site that... i think is meant for p/rn art 😅 and it's a site I've never heard of before #but the site seems active and safe and has no ads (with ublock on at least. i never turned off ublock to check lol but whatever)#anyway. the site also has Squidward's Birthday Gift and Vaction archived as well in both spanish and english #also it includes almost all of the n/s/f/w parts of Vacation (some censored some not) which was new to me lol #but as an adult i can appreciate the fact that those parts have been archived (as the internet archive version is without those pages since #-at some point tiffy had removed them herself) and I can read almost the entire thing now #Seriously thank god someone on that site was able to not only get the spanish-translated pages but to also translate them back into english #But anyway #There's also some miscellaneous stuff in a Onedrive folder somewhere (which I plan to read later)#but I've noticed that I can't find a chunk of pages from Nautical Disaster #which is a shame bc the pages I have found are really cool #and I'd like to at least know how far this comic had gotten before tiffy stopped working on it #and try to archive it somewhere so other people can easily read it too #I wanna try to do this with Tiki Ceremony as well (as in try to find all the original english pages and archive them for easy access)#but that's a much much longer comic and has been archived (in albeit low-ish quality and spanish) elsewhere #sorry for the ramble but this has been on my mind lately haha

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waynes-multiverse · 1 day ago

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Feeling a lot better this week, thank you!! I've never had it before. I kinda thought I got away with it at this point. Oh well... 😂😂

Merry (almost) Christmas, Alex! 😁🎄❤️

Honestly I don't blame her for thinking about it. This whole thing is a hot mess of epic proportions, but interesting that she headed the route of "let me go to work" instead of going to the hospital. I'd imagine she just wants to dip into her workaholic self for a while instead of dealing with Stag 1 and Stag 2 going at it over there. 😅

Nailed it 100% 😂 Who wouldn't wanna escape from that mess? lol And Diane's mess is a good distraction. Besides, I imagine revenge has gotten a bit personal for her now 😅

Hoooooly SHIT. Diane really DID "get around." 😨 She's playing an even sicker game than I thought. How she got so high into law enforcement is craaazy.

Ah yes, some hide it well...

Omfgggg of course Beau has to deal with this too. 🤣🤣 I shouldn't laugh, right? But Randy is (understandably) staying in his sour patch kid phase, even as he's demanding help from his ex-best friend/partner. Talk about reluctant allies. lol

Had to add a little comedy at this point. Things were getting... dire lol

And something tells me the boys being forced to work together like old times will help them come to an understanding 😉

Ooof yes Beau, that's an asshole statement, but I get why he feels that way. 😂 And it also tracks that Jenny is the one he's honest to about that, probably knowing she'll call him out for it! 😂😂

Loved that moment, too! He was holding up such a brave face for so long and trying to be the bigger person, he had to let it slip somehow, even if it was just for a second lol

It's clear he thinks the right thing is for reader to be with Randy, but a big part of him (which he's trying to choke down) is obviously hoping things work out in his favor and she stays with him 😅

Oh Gooood, she dropped the "I love you" just in case she wouldn't get to see him again, didn't she? 😭😭😭

Don't we love a good "I love you" goodbye?

Story is on holiday break ❄️ till January 3. Guess you'll have to remain on the edge of your seat until then 😉 We don't want too much drama and angst around Christmas, do we? 🙈

Thank you so much for reading, friend! 🤍😘

Polaris – Chapter 11

Series Summary: When Beau Arlen moved to Montana, he left behind a past he wasn’t proud of. But when a series of murders requires the FBI’s help, Sheriff Arlen‘s ghosts come back to haunt him one by one. With a wrong turn waiting at every crossroads, it’s hard to make the right choices and find his way back home – back to you.

Pairing: Beau Arlen x FBI Agent!Reader

Warnings: 18+, angst, more serial killer shenanigans & a twist

Word Count: 5.3k

A/N: So sorry for being so elusive this week! Still playing catch-up on everything after being sick for so long 🤪 I'll be back fully by Monday and talk to you guys again soon. Meanwhile, I didn't want you to wait for this chapter, so enjoy 🤍

Series Masterlist || Main Masterlist || Tag List

Chapter 11: You With Me

Once you had waltzed right through those cursed glass doors of the hospital and ended up at the parking lot, you stopped thinking and kept on running – literally. Out of breath, you started the car and drove until the building was out of view. And before you knew what you had done, you had passed the town sign of Helena as well.

But your dire need for escape didn’t last long.

It would’ve been so easy to just keep driving and leave all of it behind you in the rearview mirror. Maybe your big pile of cow manure would still make a decent fertilizer for the local farmers. But the ache lassoed around your heart tugged you back.

Pulling over to the side of the road, you took a moment to clear your mind. Head in your hands, you let yourself fall back into your seat and took a few deep breaths. You only ever made it through one yoga class, but you remembered the breathing had helped.

Still, every bone in your body wanted to bolt and never see either one of them again. In your mind, you had already asked your boss for a transfer. Maybe it was time to finally take him up on that offer to ship you off to DC.

But, of course, you couldn’t do it.

With a screeching U-turn, you headed back to town. Your destination wasn’t the hospital, however. Instead, you ended up at the Sheriff’s Department.

“Agent Y/L/N?”

On your way inside, a middle-aged man in a long, gray coat jumped up from a bench in front the building. He looked distraught, half his face hidden by a navy, voluminous scarf, but you still recognized him instantly.

“Mr. Hughes,” you said with a hint of surprise in your voice. He was the last victim’s husband, and you wondered what he was doing here. Had Jenny brought him in for more questioning?

“I heard you caught the killer. Is that true?”

Small towns, you scoffed and rolled your eyes internally.

“Mr. Hughes, I’m very sorry. I know you want answers, but please understand that I can’t share any more information with you at this point. The Sheriff’s deputies will update you as soon as we know more,” you gave the procedural answer and suddenly accelerated your pace, looking for the safety of the station in a hurry – and not only because it had gotten cold.

“Is it that DA?” he asked desperately as he followed you and cornered you again by the door.

So close…

“Mr. Hu–”

However, he didn’t let you finish this time and cut you off, “Because if it is, there’s something you should know.”

“You sure that’s her?” you asked for the third time as Mr. Hughes stared intensely at Diane, handcuffed to a metal table in Interrogation Room 1 this time.

Diane grinned like she had just won the lottery, even though no one was in the room with her. You had hauled her from her little jail cell just so Hughes could properly identify her. Although he recognized her in photos, you wanted to be sure. God knows Diane would rip that testimony apart in court, otherwise.

Hughes nodded vehemently. “Yes, I’m positive, Agent Y/L/N. How many times do I have to tell you?”

“I just had to make sure. I’m sorry. I know this is hard for you, Mr. Hughes,” you reiterated.

“Well, I’m pretty sure I’d recognize the first woman I slept with after my wife was murdered,” he snapped impatiently, but you couldn’t blame him. The man was really going through it at the moment.

“Of course. We believe you, Mr. Hughes. Thank you for coming in and letting us know,” Jenny said and took over, seeing the exhaustion on your face. “There’s some coffee in the lobby. Why don’t you help yourself while Deputy Poppernak fills you in on the next steps.”

With a heavy head, he nodded and dragged his weary feet out of the small room. “Alright. Thank you kindly, ladies.”

You exhaled a deep breath as soon as the door closed and ran a hand through your hair. You couldn’t catch a break, could you?

“Hughes is pretty shaken up,” Jenny noted pensively.

“Yeah, I mean, can you imagine finding out you unknowingly slept with your wife’s killer?” And suddenly, it dawned on you – the irony of Diane’s plan. “Shit,” you muttered under your breath.

Jenny raised a brow but gave you a comforting smile. “How are you holding up?”

“Not gonna lie. Been better,” you replied dryly.

“Wanna fill me in over coffee?”

You nodded with a smirk. “Only if you pour a lot of whiskey into my mug, too.”

Jenny grinned. “Deal.”

“I almost bolted today,” you told Jenny as the two of you sat at the big round table of the station’s break room. You clasped the warm mug even tighter in your cold hands. “Made it past the town sign, too.”

“Why did you come back?” Jenny took a sip from her own drink, hiding her knowing smile behind her cup.

“The job.”

Jenny snorted and cocked a disbelieving eyebrow. “Really?”

You smiled, your eyes focusing on the mug in your hands. “No.”

“You love both of ‘em?”

You nodded but didn’t meet her eyes. “In a way, yeah…”

“But it’s Beau,” Jenny stated like it was obvious.

“I-…” You let out a sigh. “I guess I’m scared to be cruel. It just seems so… unfair to him. Randy doesn’t deserve this. And even if… How are me and Beau supposed to just move on happily, knowing all of this? I’m afraid Diane might win this one. She actually found the goddamn breaking point. I don’t think our relationship can survive this.”

“Maybe not,” Jenny agreed quietly. She knew you had found yourself in an impossible situation. No matter where you looked for a solution, you only ever found dead ends. “Look, maybe you and Beau can’t get past this. But staying with Randy because you feel bad and don’t want to hurt his feelings is just going to hurt him more in the end. It’s crueler if you stay. You’re not doing him a favor.”

“Oh, I know. Trust me. I’ve been through this a thousand times over the last twenty-four hours. No one’s winning anything here,” you said and took a big sip from your alcoholic coffee. Then suddenly, your gut got that familiar twinge again. Your eyes widened as they found Jenny’s.

“What?” The blonde blinked at you. “I know that look. You found something.”

“We need to speak with the other victims’ husbands,” you informed Jenny, urgency swinging in your voice.

“You think she slept with the others as well?”

“What d’you think?”

Jenny sighed and blew the frustrated puff of air into her mug. She shook her head and muttered grimly, “Fucking Diane.”

“Let’s get back to work.”

Breathlessly, Beau stood in front of the hospital, hands on his squared-off hips. He looked left and right, but as far as he could tell you were long gone.

Hearing an exhaustive sigh behind him, he spun around and found his old partner fully clothed. Randy ripped off his hospital bracelet and let his lungs fill with a breath of fresh, cold mountain air. He shivered a bit in his thin denim jacket and t-shirt. Diane must’ve not left him with clothes appropriate for Montana’s dropping temperatures. Winter had rolled into the country – in more ways than one.

Beau lifted an eyebrow. “Did they discharge you?”

“Nope. Discharged myself,” Randy retorted and looked across the parking lot.

“Randy–”

“I’m fine,” he bit. “There’s nothing wrong with me, so can we please just go look for my wife?”

Wide-eyed, Beau stumped. “I’m sorry… we?!”

Spending any more time with Randy was definitely the last thing Beau needed.

“Yes, we. I don’t have a car. You have to drive,” Randy clarified, the anger in his voice still swinging punches at Beau’s face. Every word out of Randy’s mouth spelled the same message: You owe me. Beau could hardly argue with that. “Which one’s yours?”

Sourly, Beau pointed straight ahead. “The red Jeep.”

Randy’s brow furrowed. “That rusty old thing? Where the hell did you get that?”

“Mexico.”

“Sounds about right.”

“Hey, I know you’re angry with me, but don’t take it out on Pedro and hurt his feelings,” Beau said, hoping his lightheartedness would be contagious. Randy was immune, however, and didn’t break a smile. “Just stay here, go back inside, and let me look for her alone.”

“Oh, you would love that, wouldn’t you?”

“Actually, I would.”

“Forget it. I’m not staying here,” Randy huffed and opened the car door, heaving himself into the passenger seat.

Beau sighed deeply, tapping Pedro’s roof with his flat palm. “‘Course you’re not,” he muttered bitterly, rolling his eyes back.

“Congrats, Diane,” you said and slapped yet another folder down in front of her. A smirk played across the murderous prosecutor’s lips. She hoped you’d find the smoking gun eventually, and you hated the fact she always seemed to be miles ahead. “So far, I’ve spoken to seventeen husbands of your previous victims, and you… Wow.”

Honestly, you were speechless. As were all the husbands when you had the honor of telling them over the phone they might have screwed their wives’ killer. But you weren’t just looking for confirmation. Something had bugged you since Randy had magically appeared in a hospital bed.

Diane shrugged coolly – and proudly. “What can I say? I got around. Please give them my condolences.”

You scoffed a humorless chuckle and sat down across from her. “You know, something keeps gnawing on me. First of all, how the fuck did you know Randy was still alive?”

The cold-hearted lawyer smiled. “Can’t blame you. That’s a doozie.”

“And even if you did find out, how on earth did you get him out of the cartel’s claws? I mean, that alone would deserve some applause. Hate to say it, but I’m honestly impressed,” you admitted, even though your admiration was just a honey trap.

“Thank you, Agent. I appreciate your honesty. I know that must not have been easy for you to admit,” Diane replied and leaned forward on the table. “Truth is, getting him out was easy. The cartel wanted to get rid of him. He was just dead weight that attracted too much attention from law enforcement.”

“So you made a deal with them, and they just… gave him to you?” It sounded unbelievable, and you knew she was hiding something, only revealing parts of the truth to you.

“As I said, they wanted to get rid of him. In a way, you owe me. I saved him. They would’ve executed him a week later and put his head on a stick for you to find,” Diane argued, shrugging her shoulders.

It was hard to deny. In a weird way, she was right. She did save Randy, even if it was just for her personal gain. Blowing up your life or not, Randy was back – thanks to her.

“Fine,” you relented. “The second thing that keeps bugging me, though, is: How did you let Randy escape from the bunker? Was there a timer on the door, and it just opened? ‘Cause Randy said he only remembers someone stabbing him with a needle before he woke up by the side of the road. I looked at his tox screen, he still had enough in his system when he got to the hospital. It couldn’t have been more than a few hours. So, either you almost gave him a lethal dose and he got lucky, or…”

“Or what, Agent?”

You met her icy gray eyes. “You’re working with someone,” you stated determinedly. You didn’t need her to confirm it. You knew. Every bone in your body, every drop of blood – you knew.

A smile flickered alive in the corners of her mouth. Warm. Fond. “Well done. I knew you’d get there.”

Abruptly, you rose from you seat and stormed through the door, leaving Diane behind. You had to find your second killer.

“Good luck, Agent!”

“Beau.” Jenny rose from her desk with an arched eyebrow at the strange man following the sheriff inside the station. She witnessed a brief (and rather heated) exchange of words between the men before Beau walked her way with a furiously creased brow.

“You seen Y/N?” With a shake of his head that was supposed to release some of his exasperation, the sheriff took off his hat and ran a hand through his locks.

“You just missed her,” Jenny informed her exhausted boss.

“Dammit!”

“Rough day?”

“Yup, doesn’t seem to be gettin’ easier, either,” Beau replied, carrying frustration in his voice as he glanced back over his shoulder at his former partner.

“Is that–”

“Randy? Yeah,” Beau confirmed with an annoyed huff.

“Huh. Interesting…”

Beau scowled at the blonde. “What?”

“Nothing.” Jenny gave a shrug of her shoulders and tilted her head at Randy. “Just thought he’d be different. That’s all.”

Suspiciously, Beau’s eyes narrowed, darting from Randy to Jenny. “Are you checking him out, Hoyt?”

“What? No,” Jenny replied a little too defensively. “‘Sides, if I was, I’d be doing you a favor.”

Beau swayed his head from side to side, actually considering the option. “You’re not wrong. Can’t seem to get rid of him… And I realize that makes me sound like an asshole.”

“Yeah, it does,” Jenny replied, a teasing smile on her lips.

“Thanks, Hoyt,” Beau scoffed. “Any idea where Y/N went?”

“Not exactly. We’ve had an interesting visitor today. Remember Hughes?”

Beau nodded. “Husband of our last victim.”

“He came by the station after hearing we caught Diane,” Jenny explained. “He confessed to sleeping with her after his wife was killed.”

Beau’s brow furrowed, green eyes widening. “Wait, did he know that-…?”

Jenny shook her head. “No, he didn’t connect the dots till we had her in custody. But Y/N and I then checked the other–”

Beau squeezed his eyes shut and rubbed his temples. “Don’t tell me she–”

“Uh-huh.”

“Unbelievable…” Beau let his shaking head hang, sighing.

“Y/N then had a chat with Diane. She confirmed it,” Jenny informed him further. “After that, she stormed out. Said she was following a lead.”

“You know which one?”

Jenny shook her head apologetically. “I wasn’t in the room. I was still calling husbands. But Y/N had a few more names left on her list from the Texas victims.”

Beau then pulled out his phone and tried you again, but only ever caught the receiving end of your voicemail, which wasn’t rare, considering the spotty service in town. “Still voicemail.”

“What’s that?” Jenny leaned closer, squinting her eyes at his screen. “You’ve got a message.”

“Huh. It’s from her. Ten minutes ago. Voicemail,” Beau said and frowned at his phone, his thumb wringing with the touchscreen.

He then held it to his ear and listened.

“Ugh, voicemail. Again. Stupid woods everywhere…” you huffed a sigh into your phone, your eyes concentrating on the foggy road ahead. “Beau, it’s me. I’ve found something. Driving to your place now. Meet me there,” you said, already rounding the corner to his road. “Diane’s not working alone. She has a partner. Probably someone submissive that she can manipulate easily to do her bidding…”

Parking the car in front of his trailer, you unfastened your seatbelt and hurried out.

“I checked the list of husbands. I think it’s our first victim in Texas. His name is Hal Turner. He is a quiet accountant. Kind of an odd duck when I spoke to him…” Looking through Beau’s planters, you searched for the second key. You knew he hid it here somewhere. “But he did serve some prison time a couple years ago. And while he was in prison, his wife was having an affair… with Diane’s husband, his goddamn defense attorney. And if your mind isn’t blown yet, just wait for the next part. Guess why Turner was in prison in the first place? See, he tried earning some extra cash, doing the books for a biker gang, which just so happens to be connected to our favorite cartel. Yeah… That’s probably how they got their hands on Randy.”

There was a noise. You had realized it too late, and your weapon was still in the car. One breath later, you felt the cool metal of a gun barrel pressing against the back of your skull.

“Uhm… anyways, put out an APB. I’m here now, so… just get here too, okay? I love you. Bye.”

You dropped your phone to the ground and raised your hands, taking a deep breath before you spoke. “Whoa, slow down there, cowboy. I left my gun in the car. I’m no threat to you. You don’t have to do this, Mr. Turner.”

“You’ve figured it all out. She said you were smart,” he said, and you could hear the uneasiness, the jitters, in his voice.

“Mr. Turner, I’m gonna turn around now, so we can talk better, okay?” you pleaded, ordering your body to stay calm.

“What’s there to talk about? I have to do this. I can’t disappoint her,” the man stated. And once you looked at him, you knew he wasn’t of sound mind anymore. Diane had done a number on the guy.

“No, you don’t. You heard. I already told my colleagues about you. They’re gonna look for you. It’s over, Mr. Turner,” you explained as gently as possible. “But if you come willingly to the station with me, I’ll make sure to get you a deal with the DA. Please… Don’t do this.”

For a moment, you thought he bought it. He hesitated as if he were actually considering the option to end it all right there. But then you recognized the pity in his eyes.

“I’m sorry. I can’t.”

“Yeah… That’s probably how they got their hands on Randy… Uhm… anyways, put out an APB. I’m here now, so… just get here too, okay? I love you. Bye.”

Half the station had gathered around the sheriff, including Randy, as soon as Beau put your message on speaker after the first few sentences. Beau only snapped his finger at Poppernak, who nodded eagerly and raced to the nearest computer, putting out an APB on Hal Turner.

Randy cleared his throat and excused himself outside before Beau realized what exactly had bothered his former partner about your message.

I love you.

Only Jenny remained standing next to him with a creased brow. He knew that look.

“What?” Beau prompted. “I know. Trust me. I wouldn’t have put it on speaker if I had known beforehand.”

“No, not that.” Jenny shook her head but then changed her mind. “Or maybe exactly that. Didn’t she sound weird to you towards the end?”

Beau shrugged. His mind might have turned off temporarily after hearing those three words. “What d’you mean?”

“At the start, she’s all excited because she solved the case, right? But then there’s this weird pause before her voice changes. She sounds… calm,” Jenny explained.

“You mean because she’s trying to stay calm,” Beau added.

“Because she’s seen something,” Jenny finished. “Someone. Hal Turner.”

Green eyes widened as his chest tightened. Beau thundered outside, passing Randy on a bench on his way to the car.

“Whoa, what’s going on? Where are you running off to?” Randy hurried straight after him and met him by the Jeep. “Are you going after Y/N?”

Internally, Beau sighed, but he knew they didn’t have time for a discussion.

“Get in! Y/N’s in trouble.”

July 2021

“Been a minute,” Beau said as you hopped into the driver’s seat of the SUV. He forced a smile, one he had hoped would conceal his nervousness appropriately. He even let you drive – just so he could get back into your good graces.

If that wasn’t a peace offering, he didn’t know what was.

“Uh-huh…”

Beau wanted to sigh but refrained from doing so. That would’ve probably just annoyed you. He was handing you an olive branch, and you were throwing it into the wood chipper. He supposed he had to live with that.

After the drunk debacle and a dire hangover that almost cost him his job, Beau knew he had to crawl back to Cody. He actually apologized, bootlicked and cowered, and then submissively asked to be partnered up with you again. And after all of that, the dick still had said no.

You went undercover shortly after, and Beau went back home, giving his failing marriage another shot. The old college try. Well, Carla didn’t appreciate any of it. Too little, too late, she’d said.

Now, both of you were back, and the only reason Beau was allowed to share a car with you again was because you had explicitly requested it. Beau had been surprised to hear that, frankly, but it gave him hope things could be repaired. Maybe that had been your idea of extending an olive branch.

“Thanks, you know,” Beau said and focused his gaze on his clasped hands in his lap. “I know you put in the request to be my partner again.”

“Kinda had to,” you scoffed and pushed the key into the ignition, maybe a little too forcefully for the occasion. “No one in the team wants to work with you anymore. They were practically begging me to take you back. You’re a real people person, aren’t you?”

Alright, maybe it wasn’t exactly a full branch.

Had he sulked? Been moody? Absentminded in recent weeks?

Yes, absolutely.

“Still, thanks…” Beau licked his lips. He wanted to make things right – but how? “Look, I’m really sorry about what happened. I am. I swear to you nothin’ like it will ever happen again, alright?”

For a mere second, you stopped every movement. His words sunk in. No, it was exactly what you wanted all along.

Right?

“Good.”

“Alright, then…” Beau exhaled a sigh. He didn’t know what he’d expected to hear, but that answer surely left more to desire. Not to mention, the thousands of questions that gnawed on him like nasty termites.

You started the car and reversed out of the spot, thinking and hoping this conversation was over – once and for all. Bury the goddamn hatchet six-feet-under. But Beau seemed to have a different idea of how you two would spend your afternoon:

“If that’s what you want…”

He said it so passive-aggressively it bordered on childish. What the hell was he aiming for? Had he gone mad?

“It’s what I want.”

You’d be damned if you got roped into this one. Beau Arlen would not drag you down into the pits of hell with him. But hesitation had come before your answer, and Beau had noticed.

“You sure?”

For fuck’s sake!

Mind, you still had to navigate out of that incredibly tight parking spot with that fucking gigantic car (and not looking like a damn fool when doing so) while that idiot next you, your partner, kept yapping on. And mind, if you did indeed mess up, he’d surely (and not helpfully) inform you why he never let you drive.

“I’m sure.”

Beau nodded. Not in acceptance – he was thinking. “Just answer me one question…”

“You’ve gotta be kidding me!”

Bringing the SUV to a screeching halt, you both jolted forward into your seatbelts. Another driver leaving the parking lot honked behind you for blocking their way.

“Fuck off!” you yelled, leaning halfway out the rolled down window.

“You want me to dri–”

“Nope.”

“Alright, then.”

That asshole…

Then silence fell. You didn’t move, though, and Beau didn’t pressure you to. The car kept running till you turned it off and sunk back into your seat.

“Why are you so mad at me?”

“I’m not mad.”

“I don’t think the punishment fits the crime.”

“Oh, I think it does.”

Beau rubbed his lips with his thumb and finger and stared out the window. Again, he was thinking. He might as well have taken up chess as a leisure activity.

Was he weak if he wanted to fight?

“Look, if you’re only this mad ‘cause you think you’d just be my rebound, then you should know that never would’ve been the case, alright?”

Beau looked at you, and you met his eyes. You were scared to admit it, even to yourself, but your feelings were harder to ignore when you stared at him.

“I wouldn’t have risked our friendship for nothin’,” he muttered under his breath.

“Don’t.” You clutched the steering wheel in your grasp a little tighter.

“So, what? We just never talk about it?”

Beau knew in that moment that, whatever he felt, it wasn’t just a simple crush that would dissipate over time. It would stay. How was he supposed ignore an elephant this big?

“That’s exactly what we’re supposed to do,” you stated. How could you explain it in a way he’d understand? “Beau, it can’t-…It can’t be you… It just can’t be. You with me on this one?”

“I’m with you.” His heart drowned in disappointment, but he gave you a promise nonetheless, telling you he’d let it rest for good. “Guess I got my answer…”

“Hood’s still warm,” Beau said, removing his palm from your car. It had taken him twelve minutes to race here, knowing he’d never be fast enough to stop it. Your vehicle was here, but you weren’t. “Her gun’s still here, too.”

“Found her phone. Door’s still locked. She never went inside,” Randy said, standing in front of the trailer. “No signs of blood, though.”

“He probably took her somewhere else,” Beau mused, his gut telling him the exact place.

“One of those bunkers?”

“Would be my guess, yeah,” Beau confirmed and rubbed his beard. Everything inside him tried to keep calm, tried not to panic, even though his head was booming and his heart was exploding with worry.

“Why would she leave her phone here? Maybe there’s something on here,” Randy said and proceeded to type in your passcode. Only it wasn’t yours anymore. “She changed it,” he realized with a swallow and found Beau’s eyes. “Do you-, uhm…”

“Yeah,” was all Beau said and proceeded to type in the correct code. Your phone unlocked, but that accomplishment surely came with a price, judging by Randy’s sulking expression. “Last call was to me. Says here her storage is full, but the video was still saved.”

“What video?”

As the men started the clip, they caught your entire conversation with Hal Turner – with his voice and face on tape. Turner held you at gun point before slowly leading you to a car and out of frame. The noise of a starting engine could be heard before it all falls silent and dark.

“Why would she record this? If she had taken it with her, we could’ve tracked it,” Randy said with a frown.

But Beau shook his head. “Turner would’ve probably dumped her phone somewhere before they ever even reached their destination. She didn’t think she’d make it out alive,” he realized bitterly. His heart grew heavier with every passing second. “She recorded it as evidence… in case he killed her.”

As soon as he uttered those words, everything fell into place. Everything made sense. And Beau wanted to break down right then and there.

If something happened to you…

Grabbing his phone, Beau called Jenny’s number. “Hoyt! Turner took her. They can’t be far. Lock everything down, you understand me? Get everybody out of the station and on the streets. Have forensics come by my trailer… Yeah, alright. I’ll meet you here.”

He ended the call with a strenuous exhale. Although he wanted to, he knew there wasn’t more he could do. Driving down roads, running aimlessly through the woods… He knew there was no way he could ever find you.

Unless he had help.

“We need to find her,” Randy stated the obvious.

“You think?!”

Beau wasn’t mad at Randy. He was angry with himself. If he hadn’t kicked you out this morning, you would’ve been by his side. You would’ve spent the day together. You would’ve come home together. He would’ve been here when you needed him.

“Stop yelling at me! You know I like to think out loud!”

Beau ground his jaw and rubbed his aching temples. “You’re right. I’m sorry. Look, I’m just worried.”

“And you think I ain’t?!”

“Randy–” Beau sighed loudly and stretched out the tension in his shoulders. “Let’s not turn this into some weird competition, alright? We’re both worried. End of story.”

Randy scoffed and rolled his eyes, defiantly crossing his arms over his jacket. “Whatever, man.”

“Look, if we’re gonna work this thing together, I think we need some ground rules. You with me on this one, buddy?”

“I ain’t your buddy.” Randy exhaled a long breath and pondered for a moment with a sour expression on his face. Eventually, he nodded his agreement. “But I’m with you. What did you have in mind?”

Bobbing his head, he thought for a second and scratched his jaw. “I don’t think we should talk about her.”

“She’s the one who’s missing. We’re trying to find her. I think we need to talk about her a little,” Randy argued, mostly out of spite.

But Beau was a patient man – sometimes. Another sigh passed his lips. “You know what I mean.”

“Oh, you mean I’m not supposed to make you uncomfortable by asking questions like, ‘Is Y/N’s passcode your guys’ anniversary date because she used to have our wedding anniversary as her code.’ Those kinda questions?” Randy asked mockingly.

“Uh-huh… That would be a stellar example of what I meant,” Beau said with a pressed smile. He knew this wouldn’t be easy by a long shot, but he was willing to try and make it work. “Second – no sulking.”

“I don’t sulk.”

“Yes, you do. I don’t wanna worry about you anytime my relationship with Y/N even remotely comes up. It happened. Get over it.”

“Get over it?!” Randy gasped. Granted, Beau knew he could’ve chosen better words. “You know, those rules start to sound a lot like just a list of things that are supposed to make you less uncomfortable.”

“Yeah, well…” Beau scratched the back of his neck. “You can add somethin’.”

A peace offering.

Randy nodded, accepting said offer. He crossed his arms over his chest. “Fine. Third rule: You’re not allowed to pretend you’re the only one who cares about her. She’s my wife. I get to decide how we proceed.”

Beau’s jaw tightened. “Fine,” he gritted.

“Which brings me to my fourth rule: You’re not the boss of me. You ain’t my sheriff.” Randy smirked, provoking in nature. Beau could tell he was proud of that rule.

Beau chuckled humorlessly. “You know, Randy, technically, you’re not a cop anymore. You’re a civilian. In my county. So yeah, I am your sheriff.”

Randy only grinned in return. “Well, good thing you can deputize me.”

Beau let another sigh pass between his lips. “Fine,” he agreed to Randy’s terms. “So, that’s it? Four rules? We’re not talking about our relationship with her, I’m not gonna boss you around, and we’re good?”

“We’re good.” Randy gave him a nod. “What are we allowed to talk about, though?”

Beau shrugged. “The case? Small talk, maybe?”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know.” Another shrug. “Football?”

Randy shook his head. “Haven’t seen a single game in three years.”

“Right.” Beau hadn’t thought of that. “Politics?”

Another head shake. “Haven’t seen the news either.”

“Uh-huh…” Then, an idea hit Beau. “You know what? That might not actually be the worst. Why don’t you ask me some stuff and I fill you in on what happened over the last few years, huh? Texans, Cowboys, Musk… Anything you wanna know, I’m an open book. Just ask away, man. Anything.”

Randy contemplated the suggestion for a beat. Then a smile rose on his lips and spread to his ears. Beau didn’t like it one bit.

“Alright… How’s Carla doing?”

Chapter 12: Through – JANUARY 3

Welp, let's end it here on a funny note and forget about all the drama of being kidnapped 😂

Posting will resume in the new year with the final two chapters, so stay tuned and happy holidays to you guys! ❤️🎄🥳🥂

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