#i really had to think for some of these 😅
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felassan · 2 days ago
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David Gaider on Flemeth, under a cut for length:
"I have a type. I admit it. There are certain wells I can return to repeatedly and always find something new to explore. One of them is older female characters. Mike used to rib me about it. Consider Wynne. Meredith. Genevieve. And, of course, the biggie: Flemeth. Why are they a type? I... don't know, honestly. I guess I have a feeling that older men fade, they strive to regain their youth or establish a legacy and we've seen that story a thousand times, but older women? They become free to become something new. I guess I see so many possibilities in that. I had a conception of who Flemeth was, and why, right from the very start. Her creation went hand in hand with Morrigan, as a being whose thirst for retribution hundreds of years ago attracted an entity (slight confession: I didn't know Mythal specifically, at the time, "an elven god" was enough). I also knew where Morrigan was right and very wrong about her. Misconceptions of the truth are built into DA's foundation, and they were fundamental to this mother-daughter relationship I was building. Like many seeds I'd put in the world, however, I had no idea whether I'd ever get to explore it. Knowing that she was a character of possible future importance, if not a major player in DAO, I wasn't much surprised when she was one of the first cuts the art team made in terms of getting a unique appearance. Thus the "batty old woman" players met in DAO. Not as hard a cut as the Qunari, though."
"Going into DA2, I wanted both Morrigan and Flemeth, but we could only have one. So I picked Flemeth. This was the game where she really got to come into her own. I remember the art team coming and asking if it was OK if she got a new model, as it'd be a retcon of sorts. I didn't care. I wanted it. I honestly don't remember whether Kate Mulgrew was cast before or after Claudia. After, I think? All I recall is that Cab came into my office one day and asked if Kate might be a good fit. Asked me, the dyed-in-the-wool Trekkie who had stuck with Voyager even through the admittedly lean years? The squeal I made was un-manly. Cab took that as a "yes". 😅 I didn't get to talk to Kate until DA2, however. Schedules being what they were, we had a tight window to record Flemeth... so I had to write all her scenes before almost anything else in DA2 was written, before I even had a team! Ack! It was OK, though, for the most part. I knew where I wanted to take her, and a big part of it was going to explain her transition - to set her up for the future. So I whipped up a script in, like, two days and off we went. Kate was a marvel in the booth. She adored Flemeth and you could really tell. I didn't get to meet Kate in person, however, until DAI. This came pretty late in its development, compared to when we recorded her for DA2, and we flew down to Virginia (to accommodate her schedule - she was writing her memoir at the time, I think) for a single session. It was going to be *tight*."
"I was a mess. I was finally going to meet Captain Janeway... and yes yes, I know she's also more than that. But come ON. When we sat down, I figured I'd have to talk her through the character all over again. It'd been years since that one session at the start of DA2, right? And even more since DAO. But, no. Kate remembered Flemeth perfectly. I remember sitting there as she told me how much she loved the character, how rare it was to get one with so much texture and possibility. She called out my writing - my writing! - and waxed poetic about how she viewed Flemeth's arc. I... I was floored. 🫠 Then we began recording. One issue that quickly reared its head was how Caroline had to speed through the lines if we hoped to finish. Kate was a trooper, and most takes she'd get it in one (which is rare), but I was alarmed because we weren't giving Kate time to read the VO comments on each line. I brought it up, as there were some lines (so much sarcasm) that required nuance - Kate was getting them, oddly, but I was worried. "Oh, it's fine," Kate said. "I read the comments as we go." "How could you? We're going so fast!" "I'm a speed reader." Oh. OK, then. That certainly explained it. 😁 We got to the confrontation scene with Morrigan and she nailed it. Over and over. More than once, Caroline would make a call and, before I could even interject and say "no, Kate had it right, actually" Kate would explain exactly why she did it that way and why it worked for Flemeth. I was in love. She did the "I will see her avenged!" section all in one go. I got chills. Then we got to the final scene. You know the one. With Solas. It was this beautiful moment. She took it somewhere quiet and sad... and when she got to that last line, we all felt it: Flemeth was dead. Everyone was in tears. I suppose I could talk more about the process. How she started off aligned with Morrigan's original Delirium inspiration, but I didn't pull back her loopy way of talking as much (bet you wondered). I still don't know why it was so easy to slip into her voice, but I'm grateful I got the chance. ❤️"
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radfemsiren · 2 days ago
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Omg!!! I just finished a 2 hour debate on women’s spaces against 5 TIMs and 3 libfem TRAs, (and only 2 centrist men on my side for like 15 mins before leaving lol) and I think I did a pretty good job!
It was the top live of the night in my area, it was super crazy and fun! 3 different radfems dmed me after and said I held my own really well and was pretty articulate…I was just quoting y’all’s posts on here, hehe thanks 😏
TikTok debates are too fun guys! I might get into live-streaming them some nights and chilling with yall to discuss afterwords! …I’m kinda embarrassed at how much fun I had, I might be a debate bro 😅 They were getting increasingly offended, annoyed, and frustrated with me and it just made me more giddy … I get it now 😩
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seitmai · 3 days ago
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Linda leaned forward, her eyes never leaving yours. "I'm prepared to offer you a book deal. A three-book contract, to be precise. The advance is generous, and the royalties - well, let's just say they're enough to make even my father's ghost smile."
Making Harlan's ghost smile? That must be a good deal 😌
"The condition," she explained, her voice taking on a steely edge, "is that you convincingly pose as his sweet-as-a-peach fiancé for two years.”
Oh 😬
Linda leaned back in her chair, taking another sip of whiskey. "It's quite simple, really. You play the role of Ransom's devoted fiancée, help rehabilitate his image, and in return, you get your book deal. Three books, a substantial advance, and the backing of one of the most prestigious publishing houses in the industry.” "But... Ransom... he tried to kill someone. He went to prison. How could I possibly-" "Details," Linda waved her hand dismissively. "The public has a short memory. With the right narrative, we can reshape Ransom's image. A reformed bad boy, humbled by his time in prison, now devoted to his charming fiancée and ready to contribute positively to society. We both know the power of a well-crafted story. People will believe anything."
Pff just some measly details, absolutely o big deal lol
"I understand your hesitation," Linda said, her voice softening slightly. "But consider this: you'd have unprecedented access to our family. Think of the material for your future novels. The inside scoop on one of America's most infamous families. Isn't that what every mystery writer dreams of?" You had to admit, she had a point. The Thrombey-Drysdale saga was the stuff of legend in literary circles. To be on the inside, to see how they really lived and interacted? That alone could draw readers in if they thought there was any chance you’d pull threads and weave it into your future novels.
Ngl that sounds really good, even not being a writer, but with that inspo I would maybe become one 😅
You took a deep breath, your mind reeling from the enormity of what you had just agreed to. Six books. A multi-million dollar deal. And all you had to do was pretend to be engaged to a convicted criminal for two years. It seemed surreal, like something out of one of - well not one of Harlan's novels, but whatever romance author was currently trending.
But I would expect that the chances of Ransom murdering might be slimmer with all the eyes on him and his fiancée 🤔🤷🏻‍♀️
He was taller than you expected, his presence filling the doorway. His piercing blue eyes scanned you from head to toe, a smirk playing at the corners of his mouth. "So, you're the lucky lady my mother's picked out for me," he drawled, his voice dripping with sarcasm. You bristled at his tone but forced a smile. "And you must be the charming ex-convict I've agreed to shackle myself to," you replied, matching his sarcasm with your own. "Can we consider the awkward introductions done now?"
They have similar humor, a good start
"Nice place," you commented, setting your bags down. "I half expected to see crime scene tape and chalk outlines." Ransom's laugh was sharp and humorless. "Sorry to disappoint. I save all my murdering for the family estate. This is my sanctuary."
This actually cracked me up 😅
“You can relax. I’m not likely to try to murder you - the memory of the inconvenience of being incarcerated will probably last for twenty-four to thirty-six months, putting you in the clear.”
That at least something 🤷🏻‍♀️😅
"Speaking of, all your stuff was delivered safe and sound, but I took the liberty of having some clothes delivered for you. Can't have my fiancée looking like a struggling writer when we're out in public." You bristled at his comment. "What's wrong with my clothes?" Ransom's eyes raked over you, his gaze lingering a bit too long for comfort. "Let's just say they don't exactly scream 'trophy wife of a reformed bad boy billionaire.'"
I wouldn't say no to a little shopping spree
"It's... stunning," you managed, your voice barely above a whisper. Ransom's expression softened for a moment, a flicker of something - pride? nostalgia? - passing across his face. "It is, isn't it?" he said, his the sarcastic tone momentarily abandoned again. "My great-grandfather proposed with that ring after returning from the war. It's seen its fair share of family drama." "Are you sure about this?" you asked cautiously. "Shouldn't a family heirloom go to someone real?" Ransom's expression hardened slightly.
I loved this moment between them 🥰
Excited to read more of these two 🤗
Between the Lines
Characters/Pairings: Ransom Drysdale x curvy female!Reader Word Count: 4.4k Summary: When presented with a deal you can't resist, you agree to to create an illusion so you can achieve your actual dreams.
Content/Warnings: masturbation, slow burn, forced proximity, fake engagement, annoyed/disgusted to lovers
Notes: This takes place after the events of Knives Out. Yes, all of the movie. No exclusions. Dividers by @vesearartistry and @saradika. My humble offering for week seven of my Countdown to Chris-mas. Thank you @stargazingfangirl18 and @biteofcherry for both indulging some of my plot-talking for this fic!
↠ Main Masterlist | Aspen's Ask Box | Field Guide to the Forest
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You sat nervously in the lobby of Blood Like Wine Publishing watching the gears behind the glass display on the elegant clock above the reception desk.
Up until the death of Harlan Thrombey, the publishing house had published his works exclusively with a new murder mystery being produced and translated into dozens of languages each year like clockwork, the gears and cogs a well-tested as the antique clock on display.
With no Harlan, the publishing house had opened to submissions and you and your agent had made it through the initial rounds of querying and contract negotiations.
But now, only a year and a half after the prolific genius’s death and transfer of ownership to his nurse and friend Marta Cabrera, Marta had sold to a new owner - yet to go public in name, and they had asked for a meeting before finalizing the contract.
You tried not to fidget as you gripped the leather armrests of the chair, willing the minutes to pass faster. The lobby was eerily quiet, save for the soft ticking of the clock and the occasional rustle of papers and the soft clacking of the keyboard from the receptionist's desk. The walls were adorned with framed book covers, each one a testament to Harlan Thrombey's literary legacy. You couldn't help but wonder if your own work would ever grace these halls.
As you waited, your mind raced with possibilities. Who was this mysterious new owner? What did they want? Your agent had assured you that this was just a formality, but the knot in your stomach suggested otherwise. You found yourself studying the intricate patterns in the marble floor, tracing the veins of gold and silver that snaked through the stone like the plot twists in one of Thrombey's novels.
Just as the clock struck ten, the elevator dinged, and a tall woman with perfectly coiffed short white hair strode out, her heels clicking authoritatively on the polished marble floor. She paused at the receptionist's desk, speaking in hushed tones before turning her piercing gaze towards you.
"I assume you’re my ten o’clock?" she questioned, her voice sharp and commanding.
You suppressed a gasp and abruptly stood, smoothing your clothes nervously as you approached none other than Linda Drysdale - the legendary daughter of Harlan.
"Yes, that's me.”
She gave you a once-over, then nodded. “Come with me.”
You followed Linda into the elevator, your heart pounding in your chest. The mirrored walls reflected your nervous expression back at you, and you tried to school your features into something more confident. Linda stood beside you, her posture perfect. In contrast to you, she seemed entirely at ease, tapping away at her phone with manicured nails.
When the doors opened, you stepped out into a hallway lined with dark wood paneling and more framed book covers. Linda's office was at the end, a massive space with floor-to-ceiling windows offering a breathtaking view of the city skyline. The room was dominated by an imposing desk made of rich mahogany, its surface neat and organized.
"Please, sit," Linda said, gesturing to one of the leather chairs in front of her desk. As you settled in, she moved to a small bar cart in the corner. "Can I offer you a drink? Perhaps some whiskey? A gin and tonic? Coffee? Tea?"
You shook your head, politely declining. "No, thank you. I'm fine."
Linda shrugged, pouring herself a generous measure of amber liquid into a crystal tumbler. "Suit yourself," she said, returning to her desk and settling into her high-backed leather chair. She took a sip, savoring the whiskey before fixing you with her piercing gaze once more.
"I've read your manuscript," she began, her fingers drumming lightly on the desk's polished surface. "It's intriguing. You have potential, there's no denying that."
Your heart swelled with pride at her words, but you remained silent, sensing there was more to come.
Linda leaned forward, her eyes never leaving yours. "I'm prepared to offer you a book deal. A three-book contract, to be precise. The advance is generous, and the royalties - well, let's just say they're enough to make even my father's ghost smile."
You felt a surge of excitement, but something in Linda's tone made you hesitate. There was a glint in her eye, a slight curl to her lip that suggested there was more to this offer than met the eye.
"However," she continued, swirling the whiskey in her glass, "there is one small condition."
The word hung in the air between you, heavy with implication. You swallowed hard, your mouth suddenly dry. "What kind of condition?" you managed to ask, your voice barely above a whisper.
Linda smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes. "You see, my father liked to play games. In his will, he left us with one final trick. I don’t know how much of this you heard or followed in the news, but he left us nothing - his cash and assets, our home, and this publishing house all went to Marta Cabrera, his nurse at the time of his death.”
You would have been hard-pressed to have missed the news because it had spilled over into scandal.
“I don’t expect to see the sixty million, and that’s tough, but I can live with that - I’ve made my own fortune, and neither Walt and his family nor my sister-in-law and her daughter need to continue suckling off the teat of dad’s treasury. The house still hurts, but I’ll get it back - I can bide my time. But this? It only took me eighteen months of patience and strategy, working through subsidiaries and intermediaries, to close the deal on getting Blood Like Wine back in the family where it belongs.”
“I will go public with my ownership by the end of the week,” she continued, “but for better and for worse, the acquisition has ended up coinciding with my son’s pending release from prison.”
“Ransom?”
Linda nodded, a flicker of emotion crossing her face before disappearing behind her composed facade. "Yes, Ransom. As you can imagine, his... indiscretions have caused quite a stir in our family and social circles."
You shifted uncomfortably in your seat, unsure where this was leading.
"My son made mistakes, grievous ones. But he's served enough time, and now he needs a chance to redeem himself. That's where you come in."
Your brow furrowed in confusion. "I'm not sure I understand, Mrs. Drysdale. What does this have to do with my book deal?"
"The condition," she explained, her voice taking on a steely edge, "is that you convincingly pose as his sweet-as-a-peach fiancé for two years.”
Your mouth fell open in shock. Ransom Drysdale, the man who had attempted to murder Marta Cabrera and frame her for Harlan's death, and she expected you to agree to this? You stared at Linda in disbelief, and the silence stretched between you, broken only by the soft ticking of an antique clock on the bookshelf behind her.
"I... I don't know what to say," you finally managed, voice a little weak in your shock.
Linda leaned back in her chair, taking another sip of whiskey. "It's quite simple, really. You play the role of Ransom's devoted fiancée, help rehabilitate his image, and in return, you get your book deal. Three books, a substantial advance, and the backing of one of the most prestigious publishing houses in the industry.”
"But... Ransom... he tried to kill someone. He went to prison. How could I possibly-"
"Details," Linda waved her hand dismissively. "The public has a short memory. With the right narrative, we can reshape Ransom's image. A reformed bad boy, humbled by his time in prison, now devoted to his charming fiancée and ready to contribute positively to society. We both know the power of a well-crafted story. People will believe anything."
You felt your head spinning. This was so far beyond what you had expected when you'd nervously entered the building this morning. "And what does Ransom think about this plan?" you asked, grasping for any semblance of normalcy in this surreal situation.
Linda's lips curved into a tight smile. "Ransom will do as he's told if he wants to maintain his lifestyle and eventually inherit his share of the family fortune. He knows the stakes."
You sat there, stunned. The offer was tempting - a three-book deal with Blood Like Wine Publishing was beyond your wildest dreams. But to fake an engagement with a convicted criminal? It seemed insane.
"I understand your hesitation," Linda said, her voice softening slightly. "But consider this: you'd have unprecedented access to our family. Think of the material for your future novels. The inside scoop on one of America's most infamous families. Isn't that what every mystery writer dreams of?"
You had to admit, she had a point. The Thrombey-Drysdale saga was the stuff of legend in literary circles. To be on the inside, to see how they really lived and interacted? That alone could draw readers in if they thought there was any chance you’d pull threads and weave it into your future novels.
And besides, this was your dream: a multi-book deal with a prestigious publisher, the chance to see your work in print, and to potentially become not only a published author but one who with Blood Like Wine’s name and marketing department could be a truly successful author. How could you pass it all up?
“What would you say to four books?”
You blinked, taken aback by Linda's sudden offer. "Four books?" you repeated, your voice barely above a whisper.
Linda nodded, a sly smile playing at the corners of her mouth. "Four books. And we'll double the advance. Consider it... hazard pay." She chuckled softly at her own joke.
Your breath caught in your throat. Four books? The offer was even more tempting now, dangling before you like a golden carrot. You found yourself leaning in, drawn into Linda's web despite your better judgment.
"I... I don't know," you stammered, your mind racing. "This is all so sudden. What exactly would be expected of me?"
Linda's smile widened, sensing your wavering resolve. "Nothing too taxing, I assure you. Attend some charity galas, be seen at upscale restaurants, perhaps a carefully orchestrated paparazzi shot or two. We'll craft a beautiful love story for the press - how Ransom found redemption through your unwavering support and love."
You nodded slowly, uncertainty swirling more strongly, gut churning because you were actually considering this. You could do public appearances…
“A year and a half,” you countered.
Linda shook her head firmly. “No, I won’t budge on the time commitment. Two years is a bankable amount of time to make sure we turn enough pages to fully close this chapter. But I’ll give you six books.”
Your heart leapt at that, and even though your gut was uneasy, your brain was shouting that this kind of deal was something you could not refuse. “Six books, and the first two released before the engagement period is over.”
“Deal,” Linda agreed.
You took a deep breath, your mind reeling from the enormity of what you had just agreed to. Six books. A multi-million dollar deal. And all you had to do was pretend to be engaged to a convicted criminal for two years. It seemed surreal, like something out of one of - well not one of Harlan's novels, but whatever romance author was currently trending.
"I think I will have that drink now," you said, your voice sounding distant to your own ears.
Linda's smile widened, a predatory gleam in her eyes. "I find a good whiskey helps smooth over even the most unusual of business deals."
You nodded, watching as she selected a crystal decanter filled with amber liquid. The soft clink of glass on glass filled the room as she poured a generous measure into a tumbler. The rich, peaty aroma of the whiskey wafted towards you, promising warmth and liquid courage.
Linda returned, extending the glass to you. Your fingers wrapped around the cool crystal and your eyes met Linda's. There was a moment of silent understanding between you - a recognition of the Faustian bargain you had just crafted and agreed to.
As you raised the glass to your lips, Linda's voice cut through the silence. "One more thing," she said, her tone casual but her gaze intense. "I'll up the advance to five million if you agree to move in with Ransom."
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Your GPS led you to the top of a cul-de-sac in the Brown’s Wood neighborhood of Lincoln, Massachusetts. Beautiful trees and a typical New England landscape ushered you up the drive to the midcentury modern home owned by Hugh Ransom Drysdale. It didn’t scream home, but there was no denying it was a stunning feat of architecture - white walls and black roofing framing a structure of mostly floor-to-ceiling windows.
You sat in your car for a moment, gathering your courage. The enormity of what you had agreed to in Linda’s office had been sinking in all week, but this was it. Five million dollars. Six books. And two years of your life pretending to be engaged to - and now living with - a man who had attempted murder.
Maybe approaching all of this as if it was one big plot so of course it had to all work out was a ridiculous coping strategy, but it’s the one you had adopted.
But when the seven-figure advance had appeared in your bank account, giving you more money than you had earned in your entire life, you didn’t have it in you to back out.
If he murdered you, at least you would have paid off your student loans, credit card debts, provided for your parents’ retirement, and put away enough money in a trust for your nephew’s college fund.
The house loomed before you, a monument to wealth and taste that felt utterly alien. With a deep breath, you grabbed your bags from the passenger seat and made your way to the front door.
Before you could even ring the bell, the door swung open, revealing Ransom Drysdale himself.
He was taller than you expected, his presence filling the doorway. His piercing blue eyes scanned you from head to toe, a smirk playing at the corners of his mouth. "So, you're the lucky lady my mother's picked out for me," he drawled, his voice dripping with sarcasm.
You bristled at his tone but forced a smile. "And you must be the charming ex-convict I've agreed to shackle myself to," you replied, matching his sarcasm with your own. "Can we consider the awkward introductions done now?"
Ransom's smirk widened into a grin, a glint of amusement in his eyes. "Oh, I like you already. Come on in, darling," he said, stepping aside to let you in. "Welcome to Hill House Drysdale. Try not to get too attached - I hear it's only a two-year lease."
You stepped into the house, immediately struck by the minimalist decor and open floor plan. The entire back wall was glass, offering a stunning view of the surrounding woods. It was beautiful, but cold - much like its owner, you mused.
The house was a stark contrast to the warmth of the Thrombey mansion you'd seen in news reports. This place was all clean lines, minimalist furniture, and an abundance of glass and steel.
"Nice place," you commented, setting your bags down. "I half expected to see crime scene tape and chalk outlines."
Ransom's laugh was sharp and humorless. "Sorry to disappoint. I save all my murdering for the family estate. This is my sanctuary."
You couldn't help but chuckle bitterly at his dark humor. At least he wasn't trying to pretend this was anything other than what it was - a business arrangement.
"So, where should I put my things?" you asked, gesturing to your bags. Some of your things had been sent off to a storage unit, but the things a moving consultant had determined would come here with you had been packed up and moved earlier in the day.
"The master suite is upstairs," Ransom said, closing the door behind you. "Stay out unless you’re embarking on a conjugal visit.”
You scoffed. “Charming.”
He winked at you, then began to take you through the house. “Other than that, you’re free to roam the house, and I’ll stay out of your space. Living room here,” he gestured around, then walked to the right, and you followed him into a sleek, modern kitchen. “Two Bosch ovens, a six-burner range, your choice of pretty much any appliance in one of these cupboards.”
“You cook?”
It was his turn to scoff. “God, no.”
He walked you through the length of it, coming out on the other end of the living room, and then walking through a dining room with a long black table and another two walls of floor-to-ceiling windows.
Ransom didn’t strike you as one for entertaining dinner parties, making this more of a feature room than anything else.
At the other end, you came to a new wing of the house.
“This is you,” he said simply. “First door office, second is your bedroom and bathroom.”
You hesitated at the transition point from the dining room to the other side of the house.
“What is it?” Ransom asked, turning and putting his hands on his hips impatiently.
“Linda said a contractor would be brought in to install a door and security system.”
“She said could, and you’ve got locks installed, but I own this house, installing a wall and door here is more invasive than I was willing to agree to, and since she’s a real estate mogul she conceded it would altar the property value.”
“I…”
“You can relax. I’m not likely to try to murder you - the memory of the inconvenience of being incarcerated will probably last for twenty-four to thirty-six months, putting you in the clear.”
You frowned.
“They’re nice rooms, state of the art locks, you’ll be fine,” he reiterated, rolling his eyes. “Digital reinforced with an analog component that you’ll have the only keys to.”
He tossed you a keychain with three keys, which you were quick to catch.
“Downstairs there’s another living room that’ll be for you exclusively and a laundry room.”
“So, you’ll be coming through here to do laundry then?” you asked.
“Cute of you to think I do my own laundry.”
Now it was you who had an eye roll to give.
"Speaking of, all your stuff was delivered safe and sound, but I took the liberty of having some clothes delivered for you. Can't have my fiancée looking like a struggling writer when we're out in public."
You bristled at his comment. "What's wrong with my clothes?"
Ransom's eyes raked over you, his gaze lingering a bit too long for comfort. "Let's just say they don't exactly scream 'trophy wife of a reformed bad boy billionaire.'"
You gritted your teeth, reminding yourself of the substantial paycheck waiting for you at the end of this charade. "Fine. When is the first public outing?"
Ransom checked his watch, a sleek, expensive-looking timepiece that probably cost more than your entire wardrobe. "We have a charity gala tomorrow night. My dear mother thought it would be the perfect opportunity to debut our 'relationship' to society."
Your stomach twisted with anxiety. Tomorrow night? That was so soon. You weren't prepared for this.
“Last thing,” he said, reaching into his pocket. “Here’s your ring.”
Ransom reached into his pocket and pulled out a small, black velvet box. As he opened it, your breath caught in your throat. Nestled inside was a ring that could only be described as breathtaking.
The center stone was a flawless oval-cut diamond, easily 3 carats, that seemed to capture and refract every bit of light in the room. It was held in place by a delicate setting adorned with two smaller diamonds on either side. Each facet of the ring sparkled with an intensity that was almost hypnotic.
"This," Ransom said, his voice uncharacteristically warm, "is a family heirloom. It belonged to my great-grandmother, passed down through the generations. My mother insisted I give it to you."
He carefully removed the ring from its velvet nest and held it out.
You reached for it, holding it delicately and studying it more closely.
“And I am going to insist that you wear it continually,” he added, tone back to its normal bite, “none of this on and off business. We’re engaged and there’s no reason to risk a slip up forgetting to put it on before you leave the house.”
The weight of it in your hand felt significant, both physically and metaphorically. This wasn't just any engagement ring - it was a piece of Thrombey family history.
"It's... stunning," you managed, your voice barely above a whisper.
Ransom's expression softened for a moment, a flicker of something - pride? nostalgia? - passing across his face. "It is, isn't it?" he said, his the sarcastic tone momentarily abandoned again. "My great-grandfather proposed with that ring after returning from the war. It's seen its fair share of family drama."
You couldn't help but chuckle at that. "I bet it has."
Ransom cleared his throat, his mask of indifference sliding back into place. "Well, go on then. Put it on.”
"Are you sure about this?" you asked cautiously. "Shouldn't a family heirloom go to someone real?"
Ransom's expression hardened slightly. "I’m hardly that sentimental. This arrangement is real enough for my mother, and it's real enough for me. Besides," he added with a sardonic smile, "you're as close to family as I'm likely to get these days."
With a deep breath, you slipped it onto your left ring finger. The final symbol of the elaborate charade you had chosen to undertake.
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It was near midnight, and you were worn out and nearly ready to collapse into your bed. The movers had done most of the work, but you still had had some unpacking to take care of and moved the furniture around in your bedroom and the room that would be your office. After giving you the engagement ring, Ransom had left you alone the rest of the day.
You padded quietly through the dining room that connected the two halves of the house to the kitchen to fill up your water bottle before bed.
The house was eerily quiet as you made your way through the darkened rooms. Moonlight filtered through the expansive windows, casting long shadows across the polished floors. You tried to move silently, not wanting to disturb the stillness of the night or alert Ransom to your presence.
As you entered the kitchen, the cool tile against your bare feet sent a small shiver up your spine. You fumbled for a moment, searching for the light switch, but decided against it. Your eyes had adjusted to the darkness, and the soft glow from the windows was enough to navigate by.
You had just placed your water bottle under the refrigerator's filtered, letting the cool water splash into your bottle, when another sound caught your attention.
At first, it was barely perceptible - a faint, rhythmic creaking from upstairs. You froze, straining your ears. The sound grew clearer: a low, guttural groan, followed by the unmistakable sound of skin moving over skin.
Frozen in place, your cheeks flushed hot as realization dawned. Ransom was fisting his cock and unabashedly enjoying it.
Part of you wanted to flee back to your room immediately, but you were paralyzed, afraid any sound of movement might alert him to your presence.
Your breath caught in your throat as Ransom's moans intensified, echoing through the quiet house. The rhythmic creaking of his bed frame quickened, punctuated by deep, guttural groans that sent shivers down your spine. You stood frozen in the kitchen, your water bottle forgotten as you listened, captivated against your will.
Your body betrayed you, responding to the primal sounds drifting down from above. Heat bloomed in your core, your skin tingling with unwanted arousal. You could almost picture him - his muscular body taut with tension, head thrown back in ecstasy, those piercing blue eyes half-lidded with pleasure. Your imagination filled in the details - the flex of his biceps as he stroked himself, the sheen of sweat on his chest, the way his abs would clench with each thrust into his fist.
You pressed your thighs together, trying to quell the ache building between them.
"Fuck," Ransom's voice drifted down, rough with need.
The raw intensity in his voice sent a jolt through you. Your breath quickened, matching the frantic pace of his movements above. You knew you should leave, retreat to the safety of your room, but your feet remained rooted to the spot.
The sounds grew more urgent, building to a crescendo. Ransom's groans became deeper, more primal. You could hear the desperation in his voice, the need for release. Your own body thrummed with sympathetic tension, your nipples hardening beneath your thin sleep shirt.
Suddenly, Ransom let out a long, guttural moan. The sound of it vibrated through you, igniting every nerve ending. You imagined him arching off the bed, his body taut as a bowstring as he found his release.
The house fell silent once more, save for the pounding of your heart in your ears.
Realizing you were still clutching your water bottle, you turned and tip-toed back to your room as quickly as possible.
You slipped quietly back into your room, closing and locking the door behind you with trembling hands. Your heart was still racing, your body flushed with unwanted arousal. You leaned against the door, trying to steady your breathing.
What had just happened? You'd come to get water and ended up an unwitting eavesdropper to your fake fiancé's private moment. The memory of Ransom's deep groans echoed in your mind, sending another shiver through you.
You shook your head, trying to clear the vivid mental images. This was ridiculous. Ransom was arrogant, infuriating, and had literally tried to murder someone. You shouldn't be affected by him like this.
And yet, the memory of his moans lingered, making your skin tingle and your core ache with need.
When you crawled into bed, you brought a book with you instead of your vibrator, refusing to sate the lust that had been kindled because you didn’t want to risk thinking of him. If you couldn’t resist him the first night living under the same roof, there would be no hope for you to make it two years.
And so you read until your eyes drooped and you were finally succumbed to sleep.
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HAPPY KNIVES OUT NOVEMBER! It seemed like an appropriate point during the Countdown to Chris-mas to finally buckle down and write my first Ransom fic!
↠ Main Masterlist | Aspen's Ask Box | Field Guide to the Forest
I do not do tag lists, but FOLLOW @buckets-and-stories and TURN ON NOTIFICATIONS to be updated any time I publish a new work!
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sheepispink · 1 day ago
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A LIGHT THAT NEVER GOES OUT
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Masterlist AO3
pairings: Simon Ghost Riley/ Reader (platonic or romantic, up to you)
tags: probably loads of military inaccuracies, anxiety attacks (possibly?), heavy angst, angst and comfort, paranoia, bad mental health, cuddling and literal sleeping together (up to you romantic or platonic)
A/N: I’d appreciate if no one complained abt the accuract/realistic of the story (ofc if its the characterisation of ghost that’s perfectly ok!) i’m open for criticisation for how i write etc etc but this is a sensitive topic and.. based off personal experiences 😅😅 so it’s very realistic to me even if its not to you!
This technically takes place after this fic but it’s not a big deal in which the order you read it
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You’re an introvert, even if you do get excited really quickly, loud around people you’ve known for a while and love meeting new people. Yet still, you call yourself an introvert, even if that technically still makes you an extroverted introvert. You don't like the sound of an extrovert— someone who thrives off of others' attention and loves to be the center of it, who brightens their days with their friends and always wants to make plans with anyone and everyone. You like the attention sometimes; when Price mentions your name in a conversation, praising your skills, your heart thumps a little louder. Being at the limelight of the party isn't always the worst thing either, especially when everyone laughs at your jokes so hard they double over, grinning so wide you can't help it either. You love your friends, your teammates, even the random soldiers you’ve only exchanged small greetings with. The love for others is held tight in your heart’s vessels, bursting each and every time they make you smile or you just see their presence. You feel so warm and alive when you give them a grin in the mornings, even more so when they seek out your presence throughout the day.
Though, that only applies sometimes— never always.
A familiar soldier could ask you out to lunch and yet your chest begins to twist uncomfortably, like someone is wringing your intestines with their hands. Something screams at you when they say those words, like an invisible line had just been crossed that had been clear in everyone's heads. You had only ever spoken to those soldiers in the gym or around base, there was nowhere else even remotely personal you’d think to take them to. One on one conversations were not common either, since it wasnt that often. It’s not that you don't like them, it’s just.. not right. You’d shake your head apologetically as you force an excuse between your teeth. The regret you then express is a lie, along with the love you felt before— only reduced to a being who could never hold any of those things.
The truth is, you have a sick little parasite in you, it claws at that heart muscle, tearing away the flesh and devouring any love you feel for the people you care about and replacing it with an empty feeling which is always followed by an unreasonable hatred. Your mind grows dark, headaches permanent, as you live through the day as a skeleton of yourself— no longer able to hold any love within you as it slips past your bones in seconds. You don't like the boundaries you’ve mentally set for each person to be crossed, even if it’s a perfectly normal task. In fact, some may even say you’re scared of change. You don’t like to put a label on these things, hell you don't even like to think too hard on these things. It begins to make sense when you sit and reflect, piecing all the reasons for your behaviour together until you hit the final point. Soon you’re done, finally aware of the most significant reasoning behind your antics. The only issue is, being self aware doesn't mean you get any better; no matter how many nights you sit and stare at that mirror, nothing changes.
The only thing you gained was the ability to squash down the parasite from prying eyes. Excuses fall from your lips quickly, no matter how bad you feel when they give you that look of disappointment. It’s not your fault— you know you won't be able to handle an outing like that, you’d get too worked up. Why? You don't need to dwell on it, not right now. This continues for multiple people, multiple soldiers for two weeks, until you're ‘normal’ and you hang around others again. People begin to subconsciously catch on and so your little routine continues to carry on moving so well, staying right on track.
“Sarge? You aint comin’ to team night? Why?”
Ghost stands at the door of your quarters, dressed in his typical training attire whilst you’re sitting in something cozy, made for home wear. You have to fight the urge to cover yourself up. “Oh right.. i, uh..yknow, lot of paperwork to do. Thought i’d stay in.”
You say with a small smile, attempting to ease any concerns he had before but little did you know, he was already growing aware of your little issue, or at least the fact there was one within you. “Paperwork? On a Friday? You should be relaxin’.” You grit your teeth a little, the burning urge inside of your chest returning just like the sick pit in your stomach. It felt so awful fearing just a simple team night out, but it was just so late and you were so tired— you didnt have the energy to be rational the whole time, to think of your next move constantly.
“It’s not a big deal. I’ll come to the next one.” You shrug, turning back to your small desk as you pull another small stack of papers in front of you. His boots thump loudly against the floorboards, sounding like the heavy thump of your heart in your ears. It stops, suddenly, behind your back and your body stiffens as he leans down, looking at the paperwork you’re going through. It’s a lie— naturally, you finished it all. He doesn't even have to stare at you first nor visibly raise a brow; you’re already waiting for him to call out your bluff just as quickly.
“You can just say you want some time alone, yknow.” That catches you off guard, half expecting him to just tell you to stop whining and grab some drinks. His words were still difficult though, how could you easily just say that? Of course, the words itself aren't the hard part, nor speaking it—it’s the implications behind said words. An excuse means you have other things to occupy you, so no one dares to disturb you much after that, however explaining you want some alone time gives way to more questions. Specifically the first being: why? Then they begin to wonder if you’ve been doing okay recently or if you’re struggling with something. You dont like the idea of that at all— people thinking about you in that way. It feels weird, almost like it’s wrong. Sometimes you wished people would just not care, and leave you alone to wallow with yourself.
“Sarge?” You snap out of it, sheepishly scratching the back of your head as he still stands behind you and you turn in your chair, putting the best meek face you can on for the night. “What? No, that’s not why I declined. I’m not really feeling any alcohol today and a new episode of a series I previously binged on the weekend just came out. Sorry.. didn't want to make it seem i was ditching anyone for a show.” Perfect, an awkward grin had tied it all off into a well constructed excuse. Even if it was partially true and this really wasn't fake, it sure felt like everything you did was an act. After all, you really didn't want them to think you were ditching anyone, and you didn't feel like having any alcohol tonight. “A new series” He says gruffly, and you nod with a tight smile, teeth gritting so hard you’re sure they’ll break in a few seconds. “I’ll join you then.”
You blink once, twice, three times in pure utter confusion. Ghost—The Ghost, whose name is rumoured across the battlefield and known for never giving into idle small talk—wants to watch the series you lied about, with you.
You’ve never felt more guilty in your entire life, practically fumbling for a solution. You could just tell the truth, say no and admit you needed to be alone. But this is the first time he’s ever expressed wanting to hang around you, actually together and alone— and miss out on a team night?! He may just want an excuse out of it, but still, you can't just say no now. “Well yeah, i just..” You hate how there’s no easy way out of this in the slightest, torn between saving your own mental health or finally getting close to the teammate who you’ve been on eggshells around for nearly a year now. “My room’s not exactly clean--“
He cuts you off with a gruff, shake of his head, a scoff resounding in his next words, promptly embarrassing you too. “There ya go— knew you wanted to be alone.”
You fumble, not understanding how he managed to pry it out of you so fast, just a simple lie blowing your cover. “I said it wasn't like-“
“See you tomorrow.” He’s gone just as fast as he silenced you, heavy footsteps disappearing out of your door and down the corridors. What you couldn't wrap your head around is how fast he had figured it out and made you confess to your lies that fast— it was a real problem, something you couldn't just let slide. If he knew, did others too?
Unfortunately for you, the very much needed alone time didn’t help as well as it usually did considering this new information has threatened everything that made up the core of your very being—specifically everything keeping you glued together. You just couldn't sit there and possibly relax like you usually did when alone (more specifically think over everything you’ve done wrong until you quite literally fell asleep mid thought)— not when Ghost could clearly read everything you had ever thought about in your life.
That being said, you’ve been a nervous wreck all week, concentrating so hard on looking sane that you’ve barely paid a second of attention to things you should’ve listened to. It’s not like you slipped up regularly, but before that day you were already feeling pretty uneasy and now with still no relief and the added stress, you feel like you really might lose it any second now. Every time you see him, every word exchanged with your teammates—with another person—it eats at you, tugging further on the ropes you’re hanging onto. They’re already been pulled thin, especially since you’ve been put in charge of a group of rookies for the past few weeks now. Of course, you had pulled the short straw when assignments went round because not only did your group love to talk back, but they loved to test every limit by asking the most stupid of questions possible. It’s the second time now you’ve had to lecture one of the rookies about why you can’t just ‘throw a grenade at the enemies’. It’s only temporary, just basic training exercises and medical procedures they need to know until the Officer, who usually oversees them, returns from their sick leave.
You let out a long breath as you enter the small break room, also known as taskforce 141’s meeting room but they’ve let you lounge in here too many times to count. It’s quiet in here, Soap and Gaz both on missions and you assume Ghost must be too. It’s the first time you’ve been able to relax all week, knowing damn well Price is down in London with Gaz. Your shoulders sag, the miserable look returning to cover your features now that you don't need to pull that tight smile anymore. Your chest physically aches from how anxious you’ve been all day, the weight of the day’s mistakes and fears of the future swelling deep in your gut. You know it’s a Friday, know you should just take a long sleep but you can’t help but think about all you have to do for the days to follow. You’re busy the whole day tomorrow, a team outing you can’t deny no matter how much you really do not want to go. Just thinking of all the final work you’ll have to cram in on Sunday makes a splitting pain run along the bumps in your brain. Even your breaths begin to feel shorter, an uncomfortable feeling that you just still cant rid of no matter how long you take deep breaths. Your eyes are weighed down with exhaustion and yet your brain refuses to let you sleep yet. No, you cannot. If you sleep the night away then you’ll only have Sunday left for yourself, and that won't work out, will it?
You pick up the mug you had just stirred, hoping the drink would soothe at least something if not your dehydrated body. Taking a small sip, the hot liquid spills down your throat, leaving a warm feeling in your ribs. “Alone by choice or force?” A gruff voice rings out behind you, along with an arm reaching around to supposedly grab a teabag as well, is enough to make you flinch. Stumbling on your own feet, your mug jolts and the steaming water splashes against your shoulder. If you were worried about someone catching you so vulnerable before, you were certainly terrified now, especially since your skin was burning from a small startle.
“Fuck— sorry—“
Ghost’s gloved hand settle on one side of your waist while the other quickly takes the mug from your hands and places it upon the counter. You cant respond, barely processing the situation and everything just feels like too much and your skin feels so hot, you know he’s seeing you fall apart and still there’s nothing you can do—
Your thoughts snap to a blank when he presses the cold rag against your burning skin. Thankfully the layers of the training uniform stops any severe marks from forming. His other hand rubs your cheek, his mask so close it could brush your face, and you can actually see every speck of brown in his irises. You can't look at him for long though, moving your gaze away quickly, not when you know what you’ve done. For the past week or two you’ve hated him, painting the most horrible picture in your mind. It wasnt even on purpose, you’ve just started seeing everything wrong about him. He doesnt give the rookies much mercy, nor does he particularly entertain any of Soap’s antics even when the situation is pretty lax. He’s boring, he seems to care about nothing but himself somedays, he refuses to let you do something stupid and he never takes that damn mask off even when you’re all supposed to trust one another. You’ve lied to him, yes, forgetting about your hatred when he made you laugh with those gruff remarks. But he’s not the only one— no, you’ve began to hate everyone in this task force, picking at them and every little thing. It’s weird, you don't want to victimize yourself, because you know you’ve done just as much wrong too. But still, somedays you really can't look past the list of things you dislike about your own friends.
“Are you alright? I havent seen you all week.”
Of course he hasn't, you’ve been avoiding them all. It’s nearly impossible to think straight these days and you knew you wouldn’t be able to fake it so naturally, you just stayed away. The more you did it, the better it began to feel. Avoiding them was the solution— you were just the thorn in their side with your tricky mood swings and anxiety always painting them to be the villain. You couldnt just allow this to happen, to destroy them with your issues even if they had no idea about it.
But now, face to face with him, all you feel is unexplainable guilt for everything you’ve done to them— how could you even hate them for a second? His hand is still rubbing at your skin, nudging your face gently upwards just so you’d at least look at him for a second. “Really? The silent treatment now?.” He sighs and you hate yourself, how did you let this spiral to this point— to where he’s apologising to you and yet you wish you could just disappear. Isnt this what you wanted? For everyone to be kind to you? So why are you running— why do you refuse care?
Your lips press together as your teeth bite down on the soft flesh, torn from how much you’ve picked at the skin the whole week. It aches with anxiety, and your teeth hurt from how often you’ve clenched them so hard they scraped against eachother. The only thing you can do is stand there as Ghost fusses over you, trying to get you to move a damn muscle instead of falling apart silently like some kind of broken watch, unable to move forward or backwards. Just still.
“Sarge— snap out of it, look, I'm sorry. Okay?”
His hands are still on you, and you’ve begged for a day where someone would care this much about you and still, you step back, almost afraid. “I’m sorry, Ghost.” You croak out, your hands reaching up to your eyes as you wipe at your skin obsessively, trying to hide and stop anything from leaking. “Why’re you apologising?” He says gruffly, confused by all of this, this sudden onslaught of emotion.
He’s not stupid, he had a feeling you weren't quite yourself this week. Stupidly, he figured you’d just deal with it on your own. That's what everyone did, right? He knows he just takes a breather when he feels a little rough— even Price had his own battles. Comfort isn't a strong point for Ghost, not even when he was Simon Riley, never has and he never thinks it will be. He’s born and bred on violence and the coldness that comes after it, the lack of warmth even as hot blood trickles and emptiness consumes the space where his fellow soldiers should be. So watching you crumble right before him, apologising profusely while your body wracks with shaken breaths, makes something stop in him too. He doesn't know how he’ll do it, but he knows damn well no one fights alone anymore.
“Look at me.”
He says firmly, both his hands landing firmly on your shoulders, one hand even tempted to just force your chin up but you shake your head profusely. “Why not?” He stays patient for you, even if he knows he may have to force you soon— its the least he can do for you. “I cant look at you. Not after everything i did.” He pauses, hands now settling on your jaw in confusion, he knows this is moving towards an interrogation but he has to know. “What are you talking about?! What did you do?”
“I hated all of you! I avoided you all and destroyed our relationship, i fucked it all up.”
With that he cant stand to see this continue, a gloved hand firmly planted over your mouth as the other wraps around your back. He leads you to the couch even as you squirm, not caring in the slightest. He knows he has strength and not comfort, so he’ll use it to shut you up whilst the truth comforts you instead.
“Look at me.” He says sternly and you do, eyes snapping up with wide fear as you look at him. “That’s not true— okay? None of us consider our relationship with you ruined, not one of us has even mentioned you in a bad light at all.” He makes sure your whole body is pressed against the back of the couch, considering that you didnt particularly look as if you could hold yourself up right now.
“Soap has only talked to me about you once recently— he told me you helped him organize the training schedules for the rookies. Told me to thank you for it because he felt he did not express his gratitude enough. Do you understand now? No one’s mad at you– not one of us have even considered anything to have gone wrong.”
His hand grabs your own, settling it on the center of his chest so you can feel the pattern of his breathing, silently praying you’d try and match it. You can only blink at him though, slowly processing his words with each passing second until his hand leaves your mouth and your lips part, breath hitched before you swallow a sharp breath. “I’ve avoided all of you– i’ve been hating all of you.” You choke out, chest clenching with regret and the weight of unreasonable guilt and his other hand moves to hold your face again, his brown eyes piercing into yours with his silence.
“What is like to hate someone?”
“What?”?
“What is it like to hate someone?” He repeats, his thumb pressing gently into the curve of your cheek.
“I-...” You falter, thinking for a moment before your lips part again. “I dont like things that they do— the way they act and everything about them.”
“You’d avoid them too, right? Like that general you hated. Remember when he touched you and you pushed his hand away?
You nod along in agreement, breathing a bit slower to hopefully ease the pressure on your chest at the moment.
“Y-yeah.. i’d express my dislike clearly..”
“So why did you never push me away the past few weeks? You said you avoided us, but you would always speak to us if we needed to. You still helped Soap too.”
You pause, blinking at him in confusion now, you had convinced yourself that you hated them so why did you never.. actually express it?
“You’re also letting me touch you now and last week you didn't want to hang out with us, but you didnt want to hurt our feelings by saying that.”
You’re left silent, baffled and confused because in your head, you were being horrible to them, hating their guts like it was nothing.
“I think… whatever is going on in that head of yours.” He says slowly, tapping at your forehead gently as you look up at him with widened eyes. “You’ve held it in for too long. You’ve dwelled on those thoughts, so self aware of your own anxieties that you’ve distorted reality. You think you’ve done something bad, because you can't understand why you always feel so bad.” His voice is softer than usual, even if his words are still gruff and holds his thick Manchester accent.
Somehow that alone reminds you that Simon has never lied, not even once, to you. That stern voice of his is straightforward, doesnt mess around and forces his way through any problem. Just like he had just pushed himself to the root of your mind and destroyed your seeds of doubt.
“You’re allowed to talk to us you know. I have a funny feeling you’re scared o’ somethin’. Not sure what just yet.”
He doesnt force you to respond, just speaking his thoughts even if that’s what you usually do when you’re together. The couch creaks as he stand up, pulling you to get up aswell beside him. He places a hand on the crook of your back, gently encouraging you to begin walking towards the door. “Cmon, back to my room. Lets get you cleaned up properly.”
Before you know it, you’re sitting against the headboard of his bed, something you had only felt months ago when you first came here, scared and confused over a stupid hornet. You trusted him to help you then, but you dont understand why you suddenly felt that fear again. Meanwhile, your shirt is half off, Ghost sat on the bed beside you as he inspects the burns on your chest from the tea. It’s harsh, the skin reddened but not enough to be something serious thankfully. He presses a cool towel against it, soothing the stinging skin but he knows it’ll fade out soon enough. You’re wearing his old shirt, and he gave you some comfortable sweatpants too for good measure. You just watch all his moves so quietly, feeling like a ghost yourself in this moment from how detached you are. It’s weird, feeling so much yet nothing at the same time.
“Nothing too bad, should be alright by the morning.” He hums, lifting the fresh mug of tea he brewed for you and brings it to your lips for you to sip before he steals some for himself. “Is your chest still tight?” You blink, not expecting him to ask that of all things because you hadnt exactly mentioned that part and yes, it was. “How did you know..?” Your hand reaches out, silently asking for more of the tea he graciously lets you sip, unable to fathom how he brews it so perfectly each time. “You were clutching at your chest before and your breaths are a little shorter than they should be.” He’s seen straight through you again so you slump your shoulders and just nod quietly. “Yeah, it’s really tight. It’s always like this and i dont know how to make it stop.”
His gloved hand reaches out, gently rubbing at your chest thus making you sink a little back into the pillows. Before he can respond, you speak up with a quiet confession. “That day, when you came ‘round, I was upset. You said you wanted to watch the series with me and I felt so bad. I didn't want to give up my only chance of spending time with you, but I knew my head couldn't take it.”
He nods along quietly, letting you reveal it all to him. “T-then you figured me all out and i got scared— i didnt want someone to know everything about me because i didnt want to be a problem. I want someone to listen but i dont want to be seen as something different. I just.. i dont know how to handle all of this. I dont feel like the person i am when i look in the mirror.”
The strangest thing of all is that it didnt actually take you long to figure it out. You knew all along, of course, but when you’re fighting against yourself, you’re supporting both sides and so a part of you decided not to dwell on a certain bit of information too much. The reason for that to be pushed aside is no part of you wanted to face it.
Your heart always secretly wished someone would find out— that someone would push past the walls you’ve banged so hard against even if they were crafted by the webs of your brain. You prayed and prayed that they’d read through it all, express their concern and one day, one day you’d be saved from this hellish feeling. It was a common daydream for you and yet you were terrified of it. If someone knew, there was no guarantee they’d follow the fantasy. They could ridicule you, or they couldnt be able to comfort you at all, maybe they’d try and it wouldnt even do anything or maybe, just maybe— they wouldnt give a damn about it. What happened then? If that daydream was real, and that was the final outcome, there was no turning back in time. It seemed like only one person would ever figure you out, after all, no one had up until this point.
But then Simon became aware, and you got terrified. You hid away because you were too scared to know his reaction to your problems, even more so his reaction to you. You wanted someone to help, you really did, and yet your brain feared to know the uncertain future of it.
His ungloved hands card through your hair, the callouses gentle against your scalp as he slowly scratches at it. “You need to speak with us, and the others. Your feelings are real— hell, we all have our doubts. I used to feel it before every mission. Soap began to tell me his, then Gaz joined too. Price always looks for a way to solve it, and i give my two pence when i feel i want to. Just cause you feel different, doesnt mean you are. Plenty o’ people felt the same way you did before.”
“Really..? I’m not like.. crazy?”
“No, never. Even if you do some stupid shit sometimes.”
That makes you finally crack a real smile, even if its small and you’re unable to stifle the small chuckle that bubbles in your throat and although he’s the epitome of stoicism, he smiles beneath the mask. “Everyone’s out on a mission, ya can't leave me alone tonight. C’mere.”
You settle yourself in the crook of arm as he lays back against the bed with you, propping up his laptop on his lap as he searches for a good movie.
“You better report back to me everyday this week, alright? I want you here at nine pm sharp, dressed in your pajamas. That’s an order.”
Thinking over all your previous daydreams of how this would eventually go, this was far from how you expected it to be. Firstly, you never expected Ghost, nor it to happen in the military at all. Perhaps you thought maybe later in life it’d occur or maybe Soap or Price would figure it out. Either way, you arent actually upset over it. No one would be your fairy tale saviour in life, coming forward to fight the demons that plagued your head all the time. Even so, the way Ghost had shut you up and calmed you down makes you think he’s pretty damn close to being one, even if knights usually dont scoff at their princess.
He doesnt even look like he’d be willing to give a little kid a hug, but still, you couldnt be happier with how this turned out in the end. Compared to fairytale princes and men in the movies, you knew Ghost and you knew he was serious— so if he wanted to help you, he would. And no, he wouldnt ridicule you throughout the process, nor ever feel like you’ve been misheard. You know that if you spoke to Ghost, he’d listen earnesty and never forget, carrying that around with him even if those anxieties eventually died out.
You knew he’d always linger around, never forgetting you or leaving you behind. Just like a Ghost.
“Okay, i promise i will.”
You say softly, pressing your cheek against the curve of his chest, the faint thump of his heartbeat drowning out any lost thoughts. He was your support, and no matter how bad it got for you, no matter how many times you get overwhelmed and lash out, not even when you avoid everyone— he’d never break away. No, he would always be beside you.
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raven-at-the-writing-desk · 14 hours ago
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So... twst anime—
I feel I should be much more excited than I actually am. Don't get me wrong- I am excited ( for Leona animated content ) to see how they'll handle some things- but apart from the worries you listed, I just... I know this sounds a little gatekeepy but an anime will mean more ppl will know and talk about the story and I fear that they won't go into the game/other content and thus have a limited opinion on characters/events and misunderstand them. Basically I fear that characters will be even more mischaracterized than they already ( sometimes ) are by the current fandom 😭 ( specially Leona- gunshots )
[Referencing this post!]
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I feel like there's for sure been mixed reactions to the recent anime news. The general consensus is excitement, but occasionally I've also seen skepticism or worries that the anime won't be as good as the long period since the initial announcement would have had us believe. That's to be expected; we won't know the quality of the anime until we watch it ourselves.
Mmm, there's that age-old sentiment again 😅 The thought of, "More people will be exposed to Twst because of this; I'm worried they will misunderstand the story/characters." It always seems to make a comeback whenever a new major piece of Twst media is announced... It happened when the official EN localization was announced too. People were jumping to conclusions and worrying that the influx of "EN-only" folks and/or a sub-par localization would lead to newer fans not seeing the story and characters the same way as the JP side did. I'll repeat what I said back then (as I think the same logic applies), along with a few additional points/expansions, as are relevant:
As you've said, mischaracterization happens, even now. This is normal in fandom, and it doesn't necessarily make fandom a "bad" space. Variation in thought is a normal human thing in general and I don't think it should be discouraged. If everyone thought the exact same way, life would be boring and we would have a limited number of ideas circulating.
This thinking sort of presupposes that the Twst fandom is currently without issues (or has few of them) and that it is the growth of the fandom that will cause problems. From experience, I can tell you that fandoms always have their toxic pockets. Fandoms growing larger just exposes more of those pockets because, statistically speaking, with more bodies present, there's a higher chance something will come to light, be it a personal squabble, a cultural difference, actually serious allegations, etc. It's a natural part of a fandom's lifecycle.
How other people interpret the story/characters should have limited or no bearing whatsoever on your own enjoyment. It does not erase your own views on the story/characters either. If you find that your concerns about others are becoming overwhelming, I'd encourage you to take a step back and think about what in this fandom makes you happy.
I feel that the mentality I mentioned earlier stems from an "us versus them" mindset. We're viewing current Twsties as the "in" group and everyone else as the "out" group... when, really, I think it might be healthier to perceive the "out" group as potential Twsties. Like... instead of fearing them as strangers coming in to "taint" the fandom, let's try to think of them as "friends we haven't met yet". After all, these anime-first or anime-only Twsties could end up being your next buddy, someone cool you meet at an event, a Twst content creator you enjoy, etc. Try to reframe your thinking!
Lastly!! We have no idea how the anime will go. They might not make it solely the main story just because it’s a manga adaptation. The team might have weaved in vignettes/event stories or bonus content exclusive to the anime which helps flesh out the characters.
I think that about wraps up my thoughts. I hope that helps alleviate some of your concerns. Hang tight, keep an open mind, and pray that the L*ona content in the anime is good 🤡
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sad-girl-hours23 · 2 days ago
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Okay, some of my favorite quotes from the article:
“There’s people that were way more invested in the relationship than I would’ve thought. And they just can’t seem to not tell me.”
Asdfghjkl 😭😅
“But with that scene and the [story] beats, I wanted to be happy about the parking spot. And the one thing that I really liked that I didn’t even realize was — we got 15 minutes, we got time. And then I gave him a little look as if, like, “hey, we want to get down these 15 minutes?” ‘Cause that’s staying within the vein of me being excited.”
🤭
“But I was thinking when we were running to the car and then we had this cute little scene in the car after the cemetery, I was like, God, people are going to be shocked because we’re so cute and we’re so great. And [Buck] called Tommy his boyfriend for the first time. But yeah, even with that said, we filmed the breakup scene with [director] Chad [Lowe].”
EXCUSE ME?!? 😭😭😭😭
“BUT WHY THO: Are you satisfied with where you’re leaving Tommy?
LOU FERRIGNO JR: No, I’m not. I love Tommy and I love the show and I love the fandom and I am not satisfied. I want more, and I hope that they have a plan in store because I don’t think they can just pick another actor to play Tommy. I don’t think it’s me. It is probably something else. But no, I’m very unsatisfied. I understand if the fans and everyone else is unsatisfied, and maybe because it was so real that we expect TV to be more TV. Every time I see “you’d end up breaking my heart.”
It’s fine, I’m fine 😭
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HA HA HA YES
There are definitely irks I have with the show, some major (shaking my fist at the TV) some minor (eh, I would've done it like __) and I could critique quite a bit of it (mostly the writing sadly) and would be happy to do so, but this post is just a list of everything I like about the show.
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First to set the stage, we have what I personally define as the Spirit of Tolkein: selflessness in the face of Evil, how virtue will overcome evil, the will to battle temptation, an emphasis on humility, wisdom and knowledge, the simple life, and strong relationships. All depicted through the beauty and wonder of the writing and the setting. (If you have a different definition.... ah, well, that's a different conversation. This is the conclusion I've come to.) Let me run through them and show how this show nails all of these. (also this is mostly spoiler free. I think. I'll try. Being vague does not come easily to me😅)
Selflessness in the face of Evil
Being selfless in the face of Evil is really important, and can be split two ways I think. A) Being selfless can be a smack back at evil in general, even if it isn't exactly an 'evil thing' you're taking action against B) Having to choose between Good and Evil and by choosing Good, is being Selfless, because often doing the Evil, selfish thing would be a lot easier and more beneficial towards you.
This is praised in the show again and again and again. Many characters have a choice presented to them: do x, the easy and good-looking thing, for their own self-interest, or do y, the harder and scarier and sacrifical thing that might hurt them but help others. And often as a smack in the face of evil. This kid is offered a change at practically unlimited power that is from an evil source, and allured by it, starts to stray down that path, realizes the consequences of his own actions, and pulls back, confesses the wrong that he did to save others. That's just one vague example, there are a dozen.
And characters who are presented with this choice and choose to be selfish, then as a byproduct or purposefully choose evil as a result, are, or will be in future seasons, punished. The one guy that encouraged this kid to choose evil and egged him on until the kid made the right desicion? He dies later.
How Virtue will overcome Evil
Virtue! One of Tolkien's biggest talking points ever! And how by being virtuous, it directly overcomes Evil, even if it seems like a small thing. Choosing peace (or righteous war, depending on the circumstance, that can be virtuous too), truth, compassion, mercy, loyalty, kindness, love, etc etc, and often when the other person doesn't deserve it, is so highly stressed. And all of these virtues and more are wielded against characters/circumstances that represent evil, and the virtue of those choices and moments overcomes the evil.
There are twenty million examples of this in the show. Big and small. You'll see it, the utter goodness is very apparent.
The Will to Battle Temptation
Frodo and the Ring is one of the most iconic depictions of battling temptation of all time, point-blank period. The show carries this on too. The temptation for this one character to succumb to wrath and rage and having to beat it back with a stick (and mostly having other characters help pull her out of it) is a very big theme in the first season especially, and it continues in other ways as well. Season Two absolutely nails this with a character getting carried away by their hubris and want to create something great, but then at the end overcomes this temptation and wins the fight, even though they technically lose. It's so well done.
Humility
*screeches* I cannot emphasize enough how much they nail humility. Every good character has it in one way or another, and every evil character is prideful. Very clear morals and message. And one character starts out pretty prideful but then as the show continues is becoming more and more humble, and I predict by Season 3 they'll have had their full character arc and settle into their 'true self' if that makes sense.
Wisdom and Knowledge
Ah yes. The seeking and having of wisdom and knowledge is highly praised and sought after. Do not even have to explain this, it's Tolkien we're talking about here lol. One of my favorite moments is when Elrond risks his and Gil-Galad's life to prevent the Library of Celebrimbor from being destroyed. The preservation of knowledge is so cruical. Because knowledge and wisdom point back to the source of knowledge and wisdom.
The Simple Life
One of the really good things about The Hobbit and Trilogy is how the Hobbit's lifestyle (while some parts of Hobbit society are teased, or their complacency is sometimes frowned upon), is that the idea of a simple, hardworking life, is greatly loved. Doing hard physical labor by growing your own food, having close relationships with your kin, and celebrating every part of life and enjoying the gifts you have are all commented on and esteemed by other characters in other societies.
This theme isn't as central to the show's plot, but it'd definitely there. Especially with the dwarves. Even though it's a grand, Second Age show and story, with a lot of BIG stuff, they do weave some of these moments in and its very sweet.
Strong Relationships
THIS. THIS RIGHT HERE. PERFECTLY DONE IN THE SHOW. BEST WRITTEN-PARTS. ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS TOLKIEN DOES EVER.
We've got sibling-like best friend relationships, a found father-son relationship, strong parent-child relationships, healthy romantic (married!!!) relationships, 'normal' best friendships, relationships full of loyalty, honor, respect, hard choices, trust, love, tenderness, I could go on and on and on. This is the strongest writing of the show. The characters all have incredible chemistry with each other, and the actors play off of each other so well, I have just died with happiness so many times getting to watch all of these character interactions and relationships come to life. I need to make more posts gushing about my favorite ones.
I am so thankful that the show is doing this, because it seems to me in mainstream media today that broken relationships are the normal and its really disheartening to see such brokeness to be celebrated. But getting to see all of these strong, amazing relationships so well written and so well played out is just... the best.
And best part? All of these strong relationships point back to Christ. Which I'm sure some, or maybe all of that, is unintentional. I'm 95% sure that the actor for Elendil, Lloyd Owens is Christian/Catholic (I can explain why later), but besides that, I don't know if anyone working on the show is Christian. But that's the thing about incredible storytelling, isn't it? Good things naturally point back to the source of good, Jesus, whether its intentional or not. And every good relationship in the show points back to Him. And in a masterful way.
All depicted through the Beauty and Wonder of the Writing and the Setting
This is the absolute best part of the show, hands down. The sets, music, costumes, setting, and just overall beauty of the show are unparalled. They are even better than the OG trilogy. I mean, look at these! (ignore the bad quality on some of these please lol)
Settings (GORGEOUS)
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Costumes:
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And I cannot even begin to describe to you the beauty of the music. Bear McCreary has 10000% lived up to Howard Shore's legacy and every single track in the show is fire. He's used so many cool and rare instruments and is an excellent composer! Every soundtrack theme for each place and character brings them to life so much and its amazing. And the songs that do have vocals, whether choir 'ahs' or actual words, have gorgeous singing! (Fun Fact: he also composed they Percy Jackson show soundtrack!!! The theme for the Underworld, specifically the desert scene, uses the same instrument, a duduk I believe, and it sounds so similar and so cool! [I actually realized that he was the one who did it by watching the PJ show, recognizing his composing style from RoP, then frantically Googling it to then be thrilled I was right lol])
Beauty in Tolkien is so important. This guy's descriptions of places and people are some of my favorite writing ever and the style I eagerly took inspiration from as a baby writer when I first started out. And the Peter Jackson trilogy did a really good job at capturing the physical beauty of Middle Earth! Each time I watch those movies I am filled with nostalgia and a longing for it. (*cough* human heart longing for Eden *cough*)
Rings of Power has absolutely bumped it up. Having a lot more money helps lol. They've hired incredibly gifted people to work super hard on all of this. The sets, music, costumes, items, the intricate detail of every single thing is utterly beautiful and incredible to see. Almost everything in this show is practical, they've used CGI a shockingly small amount and it shows. It is utterly gorgeous. I have just been blown away with every watch and rewatch.
Beauty points back to God. And this show points back to True Beauty in every way.
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Finally, here are a few extra bits that I really like about the show that don't quite fit neatly into the categories above.
Acting and Characters
The acting! Superb! Every one of these actors deserves an award. They are I N C R E D I B L E. I need to make an entire post talking about how each of these characters is acted to perfection. The face acting some of these people have??? It's amazing! The way they carry their characters differently after different events! So so so good. I am just blown away, they all need awards.
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Now. I am going to say something very controversal that many people who I've told this opinon to Do Not Like. I think it is absolutely stupid that people are discrediting the show because of its 'forced ethnic representation'. Sorry.
Yeah, in Tolkien's work, there isn't much of anything said about black elves or dwarves or Mediterranean and Middle Eastern Numenoreans and Southlanders. But that doesn't mean they aren't there. And having a diverse cast doesn't automatically make the show bad. It does the total opposite I think. Every one of these actors deserves to be here and is incredibly capable. And it is true that we do need good representation in media- and we've got to do it well.
Amazon has done this incredibly tastefully. Some movie companies (*hem hem hem* DISNEY I'M GLARING AT YOU) have just black-washed characters, called it representation, and have moved on with their day having checked all the boxes. Sometimes I think changing a character's ethnicity when doing a remake can be good, if it is done well. There has been a couple cases Disney switched things up and I thought it was good. But for the most part, its forced representation and poorly done. And nobody likes that.
But that is NOT what Rings of Power is doing. The thing about how Amazon is doing it that I utterly respect is all of their diverse and incredible characters are their own original guys. And it adds a LOT of depth to the show, and it is GOOD REPRESENTATION. If they had made Galadriel, Elrond, Celebrimbor, or another canonical white character that is white because it adds to their character and is central to the plot had been made black, I've probably would've been pretty upset. Because part of what defines Galadriel is her physical appearance. If that had changed that it would've changed her character.
But they haven't. And that's my point. They are doing the diverse representation in the way that I think all adaptation people should do it! With their original characters in a way that adds to the story and with incredible actors. Not to mention that the acting from those characters is some of the best in the show. Rings of Power is quite literally what I think should be the gold standard of representation in media, specifically adaptations.
Anyway. That's what I think. I'll die on this hill. Moving on.
Practical Stuff and Cinematography
Like I've already said, almost all of their sets were actually built and actually acted in. There are very few scenes that a green screen was used on. And it shows! Everything looks so real and so fluid beacsue it IS so real and so fluid. I love it. Sets? Real. Stunts? Real. Lighting? Real. Everything is real! To my knowledge, the only things they've used much CGI on is the monsters! And even then, they have practical frames as the bulk, and the CGI is to just smooth things over.
The practical effects in this show are some of the most amazing things ever. LOOK AT THE ORCS.
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THEY USED REAL PROSTHETICS AND IT LOOKS AMAZING!!!
LOOK AT THE STUNTS THAT THEY'VE DONE!!
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(Sadly I can't find many good stunt RoP gifs but just trust me on this. I have gasped so many times over what hard work these guys have done for fight scenes.)
And the way that they've used cinematography and lighting and camera angles is just... masterful. I'll have to give so many specific examples later. It's some of the best filmaking I've ever seen, they've used the budget ~wonderfully~ You get sucked into the moment and it's amazing.
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Appreciating the Story
Now I'm gonna be slightly blunt. I think a lot of people hate the show because they're, for lack of a better term 'purists'. Which isn't a bad thing! Having these people in every fandom is super important! Keeps its foundation solid. I'm one of these people in many cases.
But when looking at a work where the literal purpose is to deviate from some of what Tolkein wrote, and then get angry when it isn't a word-for-word recreation is silly. In Amazon's contract with the Tolkien Estate, it was a key condition that they could NOT reproduce anything from the Silmarillion except on a case-by-case basis that had to be approved by the Estate first. They bought the rights to the Fellowship, Two Towers, Return of the King, Hobbit, and Appendices. And they agreed with the Estate to make a Second Age show. This means that they have limited material to work with. They are REQUIRED to deviate from Tolkien's original story about those early tales in many cases. So a lot of people are angry that they didn't do x, but they literally are not allowed to. They have to take creative licence with many of these storylines. And the way that so many people are ripping every single little detail about the show to threads just makes me so upset. You are getting hung-up over the tiniest things! JUST ENJOY THE STORY. If you nit-pick the death out of everything of course its gonna die. You are holding RoP to an impossible standard.
This is another reason why many people didn't like the first season so much, but love the second a lot more. Because in Season 1, they had to set the chessboard and make a lot of stuff up and change quite a bit so they could actually have room to move. Then in Season 2, we have a lot more canon stuff that we see in stuff like the appendices, which they did SO WELL. With the writing of the show, you do have to hold a lot of the canon stuff loosely because you have to. But once you let go and sit back and enjoy this new story, it is utterly fantastic, and lines up with the Spirit of Tolkien at almost every turn, which I've already shared.
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Huzzah. This is why I love Rings of Power. I've probably missed a thing or two but that's pretty much all of it. Please watch it. *bows*
It annoys me to no end with so many people saying that Rings of Power isn’t ‘in the spirit of Tolkien’ when they haven’t even watched it.
Seriously? There are things I do not like about the show and wish they had done differently, but almost all of it is utterly amazing. Every person who’s worked on that project has poured so much time and effort into it, and for an incredible result.
And by the way, when you say ‘spirit of Tolkien’ what do you even mean? How are you defining that? Because that show absolutely screams Tolkien by my measurement, not to mention his literal family is working on the project personally, and it 100% measures up to Peter Jackson’s work.
And you haven’t even watched it. Just watch it and try it. You watch enough bad media already just to criticize it, why not this? You’re gonna like it more than you think.
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onyichii · 3 days ago
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I struggled with this a little...
Earlier this year, I was going through old art files and decided I'd complete some of my unfinished drawings...
I finished nothing...until now.
(Images left to right: drawings A, B, and C)
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DRAWING A: (June) This was the first completed version. I thought it was a flop because it lacks color contrast and the pose is not interesting. I couldn't think of anything better and went with the version you see above. DRAWING B: (June) This is the first redraw, i picked it back up and decided to finish it. I remember wanting to redraw it but keep the basic pose. I drew this several times and hated everything until i got to drawing A. DRAWING C: This is the OG drawing. I drew this back in Dec 2022. Yup I began this drawing in 2022 (or even 2020 idk). I had thought of a character design concept for her then got unmotivated and just drew a basic portrait that i never finished.
I redrew this portrait a few times! Drawing B was the only iteration i saved.
Part of my old art process was just jumping into drawing without an idea or anything. Sometimes, the art turned out looking nice. And sometimes it came out looking '"okay," "alright," "mid."
I can’t do that anymore.
Something I notice about myself is that I do a lot of portrait pictures. Many of them are dull poses too or basic coloring. I really need to break out of that.
Portraits are my comfort zone. They are my comfort zone because they can be low effort. When i struggle making a full body or half body drawing, I turn it into a portrait. 😅😅
I need to get out of my comfort zone more!
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waynes-multiverse · 20 hours ago
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Polaris – Chapter 8
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Series Summary: When Beau Arlen moved to Montana, he left behind a past he wasn’t proud of. But when a series of murders requires the FBI’s help, Sheriff Arlen‘s ghosts come back to haunt him one by one. With a wrong turn waiting at every crossroads, it’s hard to make the right choices and find his way back home – back to you.
Pairing: Beau Arlen x FBI Agent!Reader
Warnings: 18+, fluff, angst, serial killer, Diane is her own warning, Grey's Anatomy & alcoholism, uhm... hard to explain the last one without spoilering. You'll be fine 😂
Word Count: 5.5k
A/N: Oh boy, I'll save you guys long explanations. Life got in the way, so let's just all be glad we're back here 😅 Some of you brilliant sleuths already caught breadcrumbs of my scheming in the last part, so here's The One You've Been Waiting For...
Series Masterlist || Main Masterlist || Tag List
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Chapter 8: Chemical Bonds
“Where is she?”
Your boot soles thudded on the floor as you dashed inside the station, your questioning look aimed at Jenny, who leaned against her desk with crossed arms and a stern brow. Beau was hot on your heels, just jogging in behind you. You practically raced him from the car across the parking lot.
“She’s in Interrogation Room 3,” Jenny informed you.
“Is she cuffed?” Beau asked, his voice carrying a hint of anger caused by concern. He had a whole car ride to the department to rile himself up and let his head spin with reasons. None of them soothing; all of them terrifying.
Jenny shook her head. “No. She’s not officially under arrest and hasn’t confessed yet, either. ‘Sides, she willingly came in and just all too happily sat down. She’s clearly playing a game. I’d be careful.”
“Alright, thanks,” Beau said and looked at you. “How you wanna do this?”
“Let’s just go in and talk to her. See what she has to say and what angle she’s playing,” you suggested, and Beau agreed with a nod, both of you falling into step as you headed down the hallway.
“My favorite couple. There you are,” Diane greeted you with a smirk that could only be described as lunacy as soon as you and Beau walked into the interrogation room. “Hope I didn’t disturb your evening.”
“Not at all,” you replied with an easy smile and took a seat across from her, Beau settling down right next to you and leaning back in his chair. “What can we do for you, Diane?”
“Well, I figured I come here before you call in the cavalry. There’s no need for all this drama. I have a feeling you two have enough of that,” she quipped and grinned devilishly at the both of you.
“So, you waltzed in here to confess to twenty-four murders?” Beau arched a disbelieving eyebrow at her.
“Oh, nice try. But I won’t confess to anything until you two have told me a little more about yourself,” Diane announced cheekily. “You talk – I talk. My rules. My game. Let's be honest. You don't have anything to nail me down. Zero, really. You two need this. I'm giving you a win, Sheriff.”
Beau and you shared a look. Neither of you liked this, but you supposed you had to play along if it led to a confession. You nodded at Diane. “Fine, what d’you wanna know?”
Diane grinned in triumphant satisfaction and folded her arms on the metal table, curiously leaning forward. “Look, I think it’s cute you two found each other… after divorce and death, of course. ‘Cause who likes a cheater, right?” she posed theoretically, her smirk getting wider. “I guess, for me at least, it’s just hard to believe there’ve never been any feelings before that. Seems kinda odd to me.”
You smiled wryly. “Well, for me at least, it seems kinda odd and, frankly, hard to believe some psychotic bitch would murder over twenty innocent people just because her husband was a cheating dirtbag. Yet, here we are.”
“Here we are indeed, Agent,” Diane snarked with a pleased smile. “And I’d be wary throwing the word ‘innocent’ around so carelessly. After all, just look at you two. I mean, I’m not saying you’ve planned this little hot love affair, but c'mon! What, no lingering looks? No fluttering hearts, dirty thoughts, or wistful what-ifs?”
You remained cool and held your gaze stern. No quiver of a lip, no twitch of an eye, no flinch of a muscle betrayed you. But Beau must’ve signaled something when Diane’s eyes drifted to him. She tilted her head with a delighted sneer forming on her face. Your heart halted in your chest. You knew she’d locked in on a target like a lioness on the prowl.
“Whoop, Sheriff Arlen, do you have something to tell me? You seem awfully quiet and… shifty,” Diane prodded the tip of her metaphorical knife into his ribcage, prying it open just enough to see inside. “If her husband was your partner, you must feel at least a little guilty for fucking his wife as soon as he was six-feet-under. Did you have feelings for her when they were still married? You did, didn’t you? I wonder what he’d say if he were still alive.”
“Okay, enough,” you snapped and drew a line in the sand, noticing how Beau withdrew more and more upon her words. She was getting to him and enjoying it. “Neither of us has done anything wrong, got it?”
Diane chuckled amusedly. “Sheriff Arlen, you should learn from your girlfriend here. She’s better at acting than you are. Or is it lying?” Her questioning gaze turned to you.
“What d’you want, huh?” you prompted with stern annoyance, hoping to take some heat off of Beau. “You want some weird confession, so you can throw one of us into a bunker?”
She shrugged nonchalantly. “I have no idea what you’re talking about, Agent. We’re just having a friendly chat among colleagues, getting to know each other.” She grinned, her icy gray eyes sparkling with devilish joy. She leaned closer to Beau, circling in on him. She could smell he was close to a breaking point and aimed her sledgehammer at him. “Tell me, Sheriff, were you happy when your partner died? I mean, you must’ve been. She was finally free and all yours for the taking. Is that why your marriage crumbled so soon after his death? Why you followed her all the way to Mexico, leaving your family behind? Be honest, did you lead her husband into that warehouse on purpose?”
“Shut up!” Beau yelled and bristled, his voice trembling with anger as did every single muscle of his. He jumped up from his seat and kicked the chair roughly against the wall before storming out and slamming the door loudly behind him.
Shocked, you rose from your seat as well and threw Jenny a worried look through the one-way mirror. As you followed Beau outside, you could still hear Diane’s heinous laugh.
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November 2020
‘¿Recuerdas que en tu infancia creías en cuentos de hadas? En la fantasia de lo que podría ser tu vida. Tu vestido blanco, un príncipe azul que te llevaría en sus brazos a un castillo sobre una colina…’
A knock on your door rattled you and snapped your attention away from the small, old TV in your room. The image was grainy at best, and you were sure the television itself was bought sometime in the early 2000s. Yet, you still managed to hook it up to your laptop and stream a few shows. Drinking and watching television was all you had for entertainment down here whenever you were on the lay-low and had some time off.
Oh, and there was the crying, of course.
You hurriedly blew your nose in one of the tissues in your hand and wiped the tears out of your eyes. Bolting into the bathroom first, you did a quick check of your appearance in the stained, wonky mirror. Well, good enough. Who were you trying to impress? You were a grieving widow. People expected you to look like shit.
Beau blinked at you as the door opened. He offered you a friendly smile, although he could tell you had cried again. You never admitted it, always telling him you were fine and brushing away any and all of his concerns. But your red and puffy eyes were hard to hide and even harder to ignore when he stopped by your room at night. It broke his heart every single time.
“Hey, I know you haven’t eaten dinner yet, darlin’,” he said and tried not to sound too scolding. Since Randy’s death you’d been basically on a grief diet, although you seemed to be more willing to eat since you’d come to Mexico. But Beau had taken it upon himself to ensure your stomach was always full.
“Uh, thanks, but I’m not hungry,” you said quietly and were already keen to close the door to get rid of him again. Sometimes it worked. Most times it didn’t.
Beau frowned and already slid his boot between the door and its jamb. “You know I’m not leaving till you ate. And since you’re being particularly difficult tonight, I’m just gonna have to watch you till that whole bag is empty. Now, trust me. This ain’t fun for me, either. Don’t make me spoon-feed you and do airplane noises. It’s been a while, but I have experience in that field. You wanna hear my lecture about your essential vitamins and minerals again?”
You sighed dramatically and were close to a whine. “Beau, I’m really not in the mood right now. Can you please just–” You stopped when you noticed the man wasn’t even listening to you. With a curiously furrowed brow, he cocked his head and leaned inside your room with a skillful weight shift, his green eyes focusing on the TV.
‘Vamos a domir a tu casa esta noche.’
‘¿Qué?’
‘¿Por qué siempre dormirmos en mi casa? ¿O no tienes una?’
“What are you watching?” Beau had fully stepped inside your room, and you knew your probability of kicking him out again sunk by the second. You sighed once more and closed the door behind you two.
“Grey’s Anatomy in Spanish. I already know the episodes, so I figured I could learn a little. I already forgot most of it from school,” you replied.
“Huh. Never watched this show.” Yet, he sat down on the foot of your bed and seemed hooked. His eyes were glued to the screen, brow lightly creased above the bridge of his nose that showed his interest. If you had popcorn, you would’ve handed it to him.
You rolled your eyes a little but smiled nonetheless. Randy had been the same. He’d teased you for watching till he caught one episode and was immediately enthralled. Afterward, you weren’t allowed to watch a single episode without him anymore.
“You wanna watch with me?” You grabbed the bag of food and crawled onto your bed, leaning against the headboard. You quickly discarded the tissues that were strewn all over your mattress. Luckily, he hadn’t noticed them yet, or you would’ve received a look full of worry and pity.
“Sure.” Beau nodded and smiled at you over his shoulder, happy you had decided to eat, after all. “So, what’s this show about?”
“A hospital in Seattle. But honestly, everyone’s just sleeping with everyone…”
It took a while till you had explained all the intricacies of each relationship to him. Fortunately, this was only the first season. He gasped when you informed him the show had seventeen of it – so far. By the end of the episode, he had joined you by the headboard, sitting next to you as you shared the remaining tacos.
‘Me gusta el helado de café, whisky de malta de una sola destilería, de vez en cuando un buen habano.’
“Ah! Now that’s a home,” Beau declared with a broad and longing smile, raising his beer bottle to the TV. “You know, I’ve always wanted an Airstream trailer exactly like this.”
“Uh-huh. Un remolque.”
His brow quirked. “Is that Spanish for trailer?”
“Yes, he just said it. You need to pay attention,” you chided playfully and took a sip from your beer.
“Hey, look, I’m just glad I can keep up with who’s sleeping with who, alright? Don’t need to add Spanish vocabulary to the mix,” Beau quipped, making you giggle. “I actually almost bought a trailer like that when me and Carla first got married.”
You grinned knowingly. “Lemme guess, Carla said no and almost shot you?”
Beau snorted a laugh. “Ha! Yeah, she definitely came close that time. But Emily was already on the way, so I guess it would’ve been impractical with a baby.”
“Smart choice.”
As your eyes traveled back to the TV, Beau’s gaze landed on you. He watched as your cheeks moved when you laughed with your whole heart. How your pink, full lips sealed around the bottle opening whenever you sipped on your beer. How your shimmering hair fell into your face in waves as you leaned forward and hugged your knees. Lingering looks.
“You wanna open a bottle of tequila with me and watch another episode?” you asked with a mischievous glint in your eyes as you looked back at him over your shoulder.
“Hm? Oh, uh, yeah. Let’s do that,” he agreed, swallowing lightly. A part of him almost felt caught in his shameless staring. But he was willing to do anything as long as it kept you from crying yourself to sleep for another night.
Jumping up from the bed, you sauntered over to the mini bar and bent down, hauling a bottle of tequila from the small fridge you’d stored in there earlier. Beau tried not to stare at the curve of your ass and how tightly those dark blue jeans hugged it. But he couldn’t control his heart as it undeniably accelerated and thumped loudly against its prison. Fluttering hearts.
Four episodes and two Margarita pitchers in, you stretched with a yawn, barely able to keep your eyes open. You glanced at Beau with an amused smile as he was still transfixed by the TV and heavily engaged in the show.
“I’m beat. You mind if we turn in?” you checked and laughed a little when his green eyes blinked at you in surprise.
“Oh, uh, sure. I’ll head back to my room,” he said, nodding. “You, uh, wanna do this every night, maybe? I mean, it’s not like there’s much else to do here… We could hang out and binge-watch, as the kids say. Netflix and chill.”
You snorted. “Beau, that’s not what you think it means…”
His brow furrowed. “Well, what does it mean?”
“Sex,” you said bluntly and watched his mouth open and close. It was rare to render that man speechless.
Beau pursed his lips, his cheeks redder than the desert sand. “Yeah, uh, no Netflix and chill, then.” He cleared his throat a couple of times while you stifled your laughs. “Can I just finish this episode before I go?”
You giggled, getting up from the bed. “Sure. Knock yourself out. I need some bathroom time before, anyways.”
As you sauntered into the small, dingy bathroom, you briefly glanced back and saw Beau’s focus was already back on the sexy doctors. You laughed a little, shaking your head before you began to wash your face and slip into your pajamas, which were just a pair of sweat shorts and an old college shirt of Randy’s. Go Cougars!
Unbeknownst to you, Beau’s gaze didn’t remain on the TV for long. At first, he only caught a glimpse of you from his periphery in the bathroom mirror through the cracked door. For a moment, he stared, unable to tear his eyes away as you shed out of your shirt. But when your bra came off as well, he averted his eyes shamefully back to the TV. His mind, however, still wandered, incapable of shaking the image of you, various unholy ideas gathering for a villainous summit. Dirty thoughts.
‘Así que, elígeme a mí. Escógeme a mí. Ámame a mí…’
“Still hooked, huh?” Amused, you arched a brow at him as you strolled out of the bathroom and saw he was still enchanted by the magic of dramatic television.
“He’s gonna go back to the cheatin’ ex, isn’t he?” Beau asked without looking at you. He sat on the bed with arms crossed and his brow scrunched.
You pressed your lips together as you smothered another laugh. “Oh, no spoilers from me, but it’s a bit of a ride. And we haven’t even gotten to Dr. Caliente yet,” you said, grinning.
You waited a moment for Beau to catch the hint that you wanted to go to bed. But soon you realized it wasn’t going to happen. The man had done a full deep dive into that show, and there was no way of pulling him back out.
“You know, you can stay and keep watching if you want to. I don’t mind. I’ve been sleeping with the TV on, anyways,” you said.
His gaze met yours, brow finally rising with realization. “Oh, uh, sorry. No, I can go. Let you catch some–” His eyes wandered back to the TV before he shook his head and tried to refocus. He blushed. “Sorry.”
“It’s really okay. You can stay. I don’t care,” you assured him with a soft smile and climbed under the covers, resting your head on the pillow. You switched off the lamp by your bedside table, the blue glow of the screen remaining the only source of light.
“Maybe just this episode,” he mumbled, his shoulders deflating as he sunk back into a more comfortable position again.
“This is nice,” you noted with a blissful sigh and closed your eyes. “I kinda hate being alone.”
Beau watched you as you peacefully fell asleep, the TV suddenly forgotten. For once you didn’t cry yourself to sleep. Tears, nightmares, and loneliness gone. And he wondered – what it would be like if he watched you fall asleep every night. What if he was still there in the morning. What if he could hold you as you wore his shirt. Then, the guilt came swiftly like the rising tide and washed those thoughts away. Wistful what-ifs.
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“What the hell happened in there?” you hissed as quietly as possible as you caught up with Beau in the lowly lit hallway of the station. Luckily, the other cops had enough sense to stay away and keep their distance while the two of you hashed things out.
Beau dragged a hand over his face, kept his palm clasped on his mouth as he paced in a circle. You were surprised he hadn’t punched a wall yet, judging by the tension in his shoulders.
“You can’t let her get to you,” you reminded him gently, your face softening when you noticed how distraught and upset he really was. What Diane said to him must’ve cut deep.
“You know it’s not true, right? What she said in there? I-I didn’t kill him. I wasn’t… Fuck!” His eyes were brimming with desperate tears, his breathing quick. You could hear his heart race from feet away.
“Of course not. She’s a deranged psychopath,” you emphasized, although you didn’t understand why you had to spell it out for him. He already knew that. “Why are you so upset? Don’t let her get under your skin. She’s thriving off it like a hyena.”
“I know. I just-…” He took a deep breath. “What if she’s right?”
Confused, your brow furrowed. “About what?”
“Me. Us,” he said, not making necessarily more sense. “What if it’s true, huh?” He blinked at you and swallowed harshly, completely out of breath. “Look, uhm… I-I don’t know how to say this. I’ve never admitted it before, but recently, things have become a lot clearer to me…” He paused for a moment, rubbing his mouth with two fingers before he found your eyes again. “I’ve always had feelings for you, you know? There’s always been this… pull. Even back then. Since the first time I met you.”
You inhaled sharply, your lungs incapable of fitting more air as you held your breath for several heartbeats. “Beau, it’s okay.”
He shook his head. “I don’t know if it is,” he said. The tortured tone of his voice pained you. “I mean, I would’ve never done anything. You need to know that, okay? I would’ve never hurt you or Randy. I never would’ve come between you two.”
“I know that,” you assured him. You wanted to take his hands in yours, touch him, hold him. But you knew it would only make the turmoil of emotions worse instead of better, like pouring oil into the fire.
“But sometimes, just for a blink of an eye, I caught myself wondering, you know? What it would be like to be with you… Hell, I wondered all the damn time. Even on your freaking wedding day,” he confessed. “That’s the kind of horrible person I am. And now, that I am with you and so fucking happy, I feel guilty every time that things worked out the way they did. ‘Cause it does feel like I’m happy that I’m with you, and he’s not.”
You let out a heavy sigh through your nose and finally took his hands in yours, intertwining your fingers as you squeezed them. “I know all of that,” you said, his brow rising in bewildered surprise. “In terms of being honest… I guess a part of me always knew you felt this way, but I never let myself go there. And yeah, considering everything, it’s only natural to feel guilty. But you’ve still done nothing wrong. We’ve done nothing wrong. You can’t control how you feel. Neither can I. And I’m not saying everything always was exactly right, and we did everything by the book, but I loved Randy with all my heart. There wasn’t room for anyone else… And now, I love you. But it was never at the same time, you know?”
Beau pulled you into his arms and held you tightly, kissing your crown. “No, I know. Trust me. I know that part.”
“I love you, okay?” You tiptoed to claim his lips, putting your whole heart into the kiss. You didn’t want to hurt him, but you wouldn’t lie, either. “Diane doesn’t get to use that against us. Everything that happened, everything we’ve done right or wrong – that’s between you and me… and maybe God at some point. But surely not that psychotic bitch in there. She’s doesn’t know what we think or feel, so don’t give her ammunition, alright?”
Beau nodded and pecked your lips, his hands caressing your cheeks. “I love you, too.”
Jenny cleared her throat as she carefully snuck up on you. “You guys okay?”
You gave her a soft smile. “Yeah. What d’you got?”
“Well, since Diane walked in and became our prime suspect, the new DA on the case signed a search warrant for her property, office, car, and all her devices,” Jenny informed you.
“Alright, take Pops with you and head to her house first. Call me if you find somethin’ we can burn that witch with,” Beau ordered, putting his sheriff hat back on, jumping into the saddle full-throttle.
“On it, boss.” Jenny gave him a resolute nod and hurried down the hall.
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January 2021
“¡Feliz navidad!”
As you opened the motel room door, you found Beau on your doorstep with a giant grin on his freckled face and not one but two bottles of tequila. One in each hand that he joyfully wiggled in the air.
You chuckled, shaking your head at him. “Christmas was two weeks ago, payaso.”
“Yeah, but I wasn’t here, so merry belated Christmas,” he retorted and strolled right in as you held the door open for him. “Can’t believe you stayed here and didn’t go home for Christmas.”
“Meh, wasn’t in the mood to be placated and pitied by my whole family. I know they all mean well, but if I get one more concerned head tilt and a ‘How are you holding up, sweetie?’, tendré que apuñalar a alguien,” you huffed.
Beau narrowed his eyes at you, slightly amused. “I only understood the word ‘stab’, but I think I get the gist,” he joked, laughing. “I see your Spanish is getting better. So, how was your depressing and lonely Christmas without your family?”
“Nice guilt trip, asshole,” you retorted playfully and scoffed. “Great, actually. I went out with the guys from our team who stayed here, too. Got insanely drunk on some Christmas cocktail Ignacio created. And some hot guy taught me how to Salsa dance. He got a little handsy towards the end, which, granted, is the most action I’ve seen in five months, so…”
Beau’s lips thinned as he weighted your words. “Huh, so to recap: you got wasted with five guys in a dingy bar and second base with some stranger. Sounds like Christmas-y fun.”
You frowned slightly, watching him open one of the bottles of tequila. “Alright, there were no bases being hit, Judge Judy. How was your Christmas?”
“Not as fun, I can tell you that much,” Beau muttered and gulped some tequila straight from the bottle.
Your nose scrunched, lips pursed. “You and Carla got into it again?”
“Oh yeah, big time,” he replied. “I’ve only been home twice, including Christmas. You’d think she’d be more happy to see me, but instead I get yelled at for not being home more and criticized like I’m some drunk.”
Your narrowed look drifted to the bottle of liquor tightly clasped in his hands as he plopped down on the bed with a sigh. “Well, you know, not really making an argument for yourself there, gaucho.”
He scowled at you. “Who’s side are you on?”
“No one’s!”
“What, you think I’m some alcoholic?”
You pursed your lips and hesitated briefly. “No… But I do think you have a slight issue with... occurrence and... volume.”
He sent you a small glare. “That’s the same thing, just different words.”
“Look, I get it. It’s not like I’ve been a healthy example these past months,” you said, hoping a softer approach would work. You sat down next to him on the bed. “It’s been hard for all of us. Grief wrecks you. But you have a family to think about. Maybe it’s time you go home… for good.”
His brow drew into creases, green eyes drilling a hole into you. “Do you want me to go?”
Your lips parted for a moment, reluctant to answer as his question hung in the air between you two. “It’s not about what I want. You should do what’s best for you.”
Beau considered your words, his head bobbing. “I wanna stay. I need to see this through. For Randy,” he declared, although it was only partially true. Another part of him stayed for you. There was an electrostatic force, invisible to the naked heart and irresistible to the free mind. A force that kept him in your orbit and bonded his atoms with yours.
Maybe you should’ve told him to go home, been more insistent on making him leave, clearer on what was best. But truthfully and selfishly so, you liked having him around. He was your constant, your little piece of home in a strange land and an even stranger new life. And you didn’t want to navigate this new life alone.
“You sure?” you still asked for the sake of your conscience, but the determination on his face over his decision made your heart sing in relief.
“I’m sure. Just wish things were easier…”
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Walking back into the interrogation room, you smiled victoriously as you slapped a folder full of evidence on the metal table in front of Diane. The deputies had found “a buttload” in Poppernak’s words.
Regardless, you knew Diane wasn’t stupid. If the deputies found something, she had wanted you to find it. For some reason, she wanted to be arrested. But you didn’t care what sick game she was playing. Cuffing her meant there’d be no more bodies, no more victims.
She gave you a titillated sneer, glimpsing at the file in front of her before finding your eyes again. She bit her lip, smirking. “Oooh, lookey, what you found there,” she mocked.
“It’s over, Diane. You’re under arrest for multiple murders among a plethora of other charges. But you already know that,” you told her firmly.
Beau’s features were stone-cold. He was pissed, radiating that fire burning inside of him for miles. He made the Yellowstone supervolcano look harmless. “Stand up and turn around. Hands behind your back.”
Diane did as told without any protest. She grinned at you the whole time when Beau manhandled her roughly into her handcuffs, bending her over the metal table as he read her the Miranda rights. You couldn’t shake the eerie feeling in your stomach, though. You had your killer, but somehow this felt far from over. You knew she had an ace up her sleeve and was waiting to lay it on the table.
“But we were just getting started,” she snarled. “Aren’t we having fun?”
“Fun usually looks a little different for me,” Beau retorted and forced her back onto the chair as soon as she was cuffed.
“I bet it does, Sheriff,” she purred with a flirtatious glimmer in her gray eyes. “I think I’ll wait with my confession till tomorrow. Let you two lovebirds enjoy your last night together.”
Beau and you shared a wary look at that. But deep in your heart, you knew there was nothing that could tear you apart. And you hoped Beau knew it, too.
“Look, bitch, I don’t care what you think you’ve planned, but it won’t drive a wedge between us. All it’s gonna do is piss us off more, got it?” you threatened and leaned forward on the table with an angrily knit brow.
Diane chuckled. “Confident. I always liked you, Agent. Aren’t you even a little curious what I’ve got in store for you?”
“No,” you replied without hesitation. You looked up at Beau and rose from your seat. “Let’s go. She’s not gonna talk tonight.”
Beau nodded, putting his hand on the small of your back, leading you outside the door. And just as your hand reached the handle, Diane decided to play her ace of hearts.
“It’s about your husband,” she noted innocently. You could hear the satisfaction in her voice as your whole body stiffened, muscles freezing. Beau felt it, too. His heart began to race. “Dead husband, of course. I always forget that part. Silly me.”
Beau’s hand on your back gave you a soft caress, telling you it was okay to turn around and find out. You didn’t want to care. And most of all, you didn’t want Beau to see that you did. But as you met his forest-green eyes, they were full of understanding.
“What about him?” you asked bravely, your chin held high as you faced her.
Her grin widened before her gaze wandered to Beau. “It’s in my pocket. Mind giving me a hand, Sheriff? You can even touch. I know you have a hard time keeping those hands to yourself,” she taunted.
You scoffed exasperatedly, rolling your eyes. “I’ll do it.”
“Oh, c’mon, Agent. Let me have a little fun. I’m about to be felt up by enough women,” she quipped.
You ignored her, hauling her to her feet by her elbow and holding her in place as your other hand dived into her back pocket. Your brow furrowed as your fingers identified a small plastic stick. Your frown deepened as you pulled out a familiar thumb drive. It wasn’t the first one you had received from her.
Twenty-five.
Had she taken another victim before giving herself up? What was so special about this one? What did it have to do with Randy? Did he ever cheat on you? Did Beau know?
You found that quite unbelievable. In fact, you knew there was no chance in hell that was true. But that did nothing to ease your conscience.
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Your hand trembled in sync with your palpitating heartbeats. You tried to steady it as best as you could and keep your jumpy nerves in line as you slipped the small drive into its designated outlet on your laptop, not wanting the team that had gathered around and behind you to catch on to your unnerving emotions.
As you clicked on the MP4 file, your heart came to a standstill when a video popped open in the player. Pressing Play, you sucked in a breath and then forgot to breathe at all.
It only took you a glimpse to die inside.
“Oh God…”
It felt like suffocating. Like jumping off a steep seaside cliff and drowning. Your body hit the ocean rocks; your heart split open.
It only took Beau a second longer to catch on. The horror in your voice had put him on immediate alert before he recognized the figure on the screen, too.
As your head spun and your stomach turned upside down, you couldn’t find any words and bolted outside. You needed fresh air. You needed to breathe. And you needed to goddamn puke.
“Beau, what’s going on? Who’s the guy on the video? You know him?” Jenny asked, her gaze worriedly flashing in the direction you had fled.
Beau swallowed the thick lump in his throat, forcing the name out that had haunted him all those past years. “It’s Randy.”
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Chapter 9: Marooned – NOVEMBER 29
Dun, dun, dun... The dead have risen in Montana! This is where it becomes a Walking Dead crossover (at least if you ask Donno 😂). Did you call the little resurrection action beforehand? 👀 Lemme know all your wild thoughts in the comments! 💭
So happy to be back with y'all! 🤍
Join the TAG LIST here! 🌌 Wanna sponsor my caffeine addiction? ☕️
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Everything Jensen: @alwaystiredandconfused @xlynnbbyx @lyarr24 @deans-spinster-witch @blackcherrywhiskey
@deansbbyx @foxyjwls007 @ladysparkles78 @roseblue373 @zepskies
@agalliasi @yvonneeeee @hobby27 @iamsapphine @globetrotter28
@mxltifxnd0m @lacilou @feyresqueen @suckitands33 @onlyangel-444
@syrma-sensei @perpetualabsurdity @deans-baby-momma @yoobusgoobus @jessjad
@hunter-or-the-hunted @k-slla @just-levyy @mrsjenniferwinchester @illicithallways
@muhahaha303 @ultimatecin73 @nancymcl @leigh70 @brightlilith
@nesnejwritings @samslvrgirl @xx-spooky-little-vampire-xx @fromcaintodean
Everything Beau Arlen: @snowayumi
Polaris Series: @corruptedcruiser @xx-spooky-little-vampire-xx
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thelunarfairy · 2 days ago
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Hey there! Am back :3
Chap 120 was uh...ow. AidaIro hurt my feelings to put it lightly.
Ahem- anyways.
I was thinking a lot about how in thos timeline, Tsukasa and Amane almost switched roles. I mean, Tsukasa is still infested with the entity, but Amane is the one doing the enitity's bidding this time. I know Hanako still had the entity in him in the normal timeline, but you het the point.
Anyway, I wanted to know your take on why Amane seems so out of control with the entity, and Tsukasa handles it better. Why Hanako needs a seal. I mean, Tsukasa does some pretty fucked up shit, sure, but he also doesn't try to kill everyone or sacrifice them (Sakura, Natsuhiko, etc). It's like Tsukasa and the entity have more of a partnership, while Amane is almost enslaved to it.
Now, I know memory also plays a part here, because he doesn't recognize Kou or Nene (at least not u til the split second when Nene screams for Hanako to help her) and it snaps him out of it. If he remembered them, would he able to hold back and not murder Kou and Mitsuba? Then again, can't exactly ignore all the murdering he's doing anyway. Besides that, Amane has always been known to have the kinder temperament. You can see it in his eyes versus Tsukasa's, and his personality in general.
I guess my curiosity stems from the fact that with the entity, Tsukasa never killed humans despite having the entity in him. He was probably hurting Amane, but it was because he WANTED to break Amane right? Wanted him to kill him. So why could Tsukasa grow up (before he was murdered obv) and not go on a murderous rampage, while Amane does? Amane is literally an adult too, and Tsukasa is still a child! Lil psychopathic bb.
Sorry if this is too long of an ask 😅 I really dont know how to stfu lol. Excited to see your take on this if you decide to!! No worries if not :)
Hello dear!!!!! welcome back!!!
That chapter made the fandom suffer XD
You answered your own question. Tsukasa has a special connection with the entity. Apparently he is the first one not to fear the entity, he taught it to speak and stayed with it daily for a while.
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Tsukasa sacrificed himself willingly, he fulfilled the agreement, and he went alone, he didn't have to be forced to do it. So yes, he and the entity have a partnership.
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Tsukasa does what the entity asks, which means that it doesn't need to control and order him, because he will do it.
And the entity "trusts" Tsukasa so much, that it allowed him to come back, and the one who asked it to come back with him was Tsukasa.
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It wasn't the entity that said "you'll only come back if I go with you".
It was Tsukasa who said that the entity would go with him.
In the old reality, Tsukasa is committed to accomplishing some still mysterious things, his intelligence resonates with the entity. He can convince it to do certain things or stop it.
Like how he easily makes the house retreat when he sets it on fire.
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Not because the house wouldn't listen if he asked, but because Tsukasa was pretending not to have a direct connection with the house to Kou and Nene, so that they wouldn't suspect.
He wouldn't say "stop it" in front of them, so he used another effective way without taking away the idea that he is trapped and is a victim of the house. Yes, he is a victim, but he was the one who chose to sacrifice himself, he wasn't forced to do it.
He talks casually with the entity, as if they were close friends. He isn't afraid of anything, so Tsukasa doesn't need to be manipulated or controlled, he does what he has to do.
Remember that I'm referring to Yorishiro and little Tsukasa from the old reality. It's still too early to conclude anything about Tsukasa of the new reality.
Amane from the old reality fears the entity, you can see the fear reflected in his eyes, he knows the danger that creature represents. Hanako doesn't like the entity and is forced to do the things it demands.
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He doesn't like what he does and is against it, but it seems that he has too much experience and understands that fighting the entity is problematic. The entity will force him to do what it wants, as you saw, and since Hanako doesn't want to do what it asks, then the entity takes control over him.
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This seems to be something that really happened in the old reality too, since he can only control himself if he is sealed.
In the new reality, Amane has no control at all, suddenly he is controlled and the entity does what it wants without even allowing Amane to have memories of it, so that he won't be able to try to get rid of it.
So in short, Tsukasa has a partnership with the entity, so it doesn't need to control Tsukasa at all. (in the old reality).
Hanako fears and is against the things the entity does, that's why he is possessed, to be forced to do what the entity wants.
Amane probably wouldn't kill Kou and Mitsuba if he were fully conscious, at least if it didn't have any direct objective.
For example, if he needed to sacrifice the two for someone he loves, he would do it. He already did. Hanako will always be Hanako, what changes are the circumstances. As much as he is kind, he still has the potential to be someone bad.
Tsukasa hurting Amane is an old theory, because the signs point to it, who would Amane forgive for hurting him like that?
Tsukasa, but Nene too.
Tsukasa can be aggressive and violent with people, but so far he has never been like that with Hanako. That must mean something. I once created a theory about Amane's injuries.
Now about Tsukasa, don't believe that he is a "psychopath".
We now understand how the entity works, in many moments we have clearly seen how the entity also influences Tsukasa's actions, just as Aidairo made it clear how the entity acts.
Amane is a serial killer now, but it is not exactly him. The boy is just a shell that is being controlled by the entity, it is the entity that wants the deaths.
You just said that Tsukasa does not kill humans, how would he be a psychopath if he does not kill humans?
Remember, the entity is still inside him.
Why is Tsukasa, who has always had the entity inside his body, still considered a "psychopath", and when Amane kills MANY people, he is just the boy who is being "controlled?".
Do you see the point here?
They both have this thing in their bodies, and they are both under its influence. Neither Amane nor Tsukasa want to kill anyone, in any reality.
The only psychopath that exists here is the entity.
Don't worry!!!!!!! Thank you!!
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darth-jess · 15 hours ago
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Okay, let's pretend Anakin did give Obi-Wan his Padawan braid:
ANAKIN: [handing Obi-Wan his braid] Here Master, it's for you! OBI-WAN: [frowning] I appreciate the gesture, Anakin, but really, what am I going to do with this? And you really don't need to call me Master, anymore. We are equals. ANAKIN: [feeling a bit hurt] It's a symbol of all the time we've spent together… you don't want it? OBI-WAN: Why would I need that? I am very proud of you, Anakin, but I don't need possessions to remember our time together. Remember, a Jedi– ANAKIN: Doesn't have possessions, yes, I know. Never mind, it was a stupid idea.
YEAH, IMAGINARY-ONLY-IN-THIS-SCENE ANAKIN, IT WAS A STUPID IDEA!
Also, Obi-Wan loves Anakin (LIKE A BROTHER), but he knows he shouldn't love him as much as he actually does, so even if for some reason Obi-Wan WANTED to keep it (which again, why would he, he's around Anakin all the time not like he needs a reminder of his former Padawan) Obi-Wan would honestly throw it away as an exercise in letting go, because that's the Jedi thing to do.
THAT'S HOW IT WOULD GO, OKAY!? Also, Anakin had no possessions to give his wife as a wedding present, so giving her his braid was his way of giving her a piece of himself, because that's all he had.
P.S. – Anakin would not actually think of his Padawan braid as a symbol of all the time he spent together with Obi-Wan, but for the sake of the little scene I made up a fake reason.
Sorry @skywalkr-nberrie for going off the rails a bit, hope you don't mind 😅
Yeah Anakin giving his padawan braid to his wife and not his rigid adoptive dad actually makes a lot of sense for his character if you stopped to actually think for once.
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storiesfromafan · 2 days ago
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My Girl - Benny Cross x Reader
A/N: I know this is a slow series, but hopefully it's not too bad 😅
(Also, posting this from my phone, might have to fix this up later 😅😅)
Previous: Part One, Part Two, Part Three
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I’ve got sunshine, on a cloudy day
When it’s cold outside, I’ve got the month of May (ooh)
I guess you’d say
What can make me feel this way?
My girl, my girl, my girl
Talkin’ ‘bout my girl, my girl
- My Girl by The Temptations
It had been a week since Benny spoke to you. And it was all he could think about. Sure, he’d seen you around the town, mostly at the grocery shop or the diner, in passing. But it wasn’t enough. He’d gotten a taste of your sweet voice. Seeing you up close; the colour of your eyes, which had specs of (colour) to them. How your hair was (colour) but when the light hits it, it looked (colour). How your cheeks go a rosy colour when you were shy or embarrassed. Benny wanted to experience it all so much more.
Cal waved his hand in front of Benny's face, snapping the young Vandal from his thoughts of you. That’s right, he was currently playing a game of pool with the man laughing at him. While waiting for his shot, it looks like Benny had zoned out again. Holding the cue against his body, Benny shot Cal and those around him an embarrassed smile. Which only made them laugh.
“Sorry" he muttered, moving with his cue to the pool table and looking over his options. Before finally lining up his shot and taking it, sinking the four ball.
Johnny was sitting near by on a stool, nursing his beer. “Ya alright kid? Ain’t like ya to be off with the fairies".
Before Benny could say a word, Cal beat him to the punch. “Yeah, he’s alright. Just found himself a girl".
Johnny raised his eyebrows in surprise, this was the first time he’d heard about there being a girl. “Is that right, huh?”
Another man – one from the diner incidents – laughed before speaking up, “yeah! She’s a shy, little thing. Some of the guys were makin' fun of her, but Benny stepped in and told them to ‘knock it off’”.
Johnny nodded, listening to the man’s words. Benny stood back from the pool table – his turnover – as he listened to them, embarrassed by the retelling of the diner. But it was true. He stepped in and defended you. And he would do it again for you if needed him too.
Sliding off his stool, Johnny down the rest of his beer before walking past Benny. He chuckled, patting him on the back. “Well, ya'll have to bring her around sometime. Would be nice to meet the girl that’s got ya by the balls".
Johnny then walked off to speak with a few other guys. Cal and the guys around Benny laughed at their leaders' words. They even jostled Benny and shared their own comments, which he wasn’t too fond of. But Benny knew he’d have to bring you to the bar. It would be a shock for you, but he knew you could handle it. Plus he’d be there with you, making sure nothing happened to you.
“Alright, spill!” Fran demanded, as she and Sandra sat across from you in a booth at the diner where this all began.
“Yeah! I had to hear it from my neighbour, who heard from her hair dresser, who got the gossip from Mrs Martin about Benny coming into the grocery store! And talking to you!?” Added Sandra.
You sat on your side of the booth, wishing it would swallow you up from their intense gazes. Once more, they asked you about Benny. And to be honest, you didn’t know what it meant. He’d come in for gum, and you shared a small conversation.
Taking a sip from the milkshake before you, you sat back and cleared your throat. “Well...there’s not much to say-" you started before being interrupted.
“Oh bull!” Huffed Fran. “From what we’ve heard, it was pretty intense between you too!”
“Yeah, so don’t down play it!” Added Sandra.
You sighed. “Really! It wasn’t like that, it wasn’t that big a deal!” You took a moment to gather your thoughts. “It went like this; I was just working and stupidly singing when I was surprised to see Benny. And I was a complete bumbling idiot! He wanted to buy gum-"
“Gum?” Both women questioned.
You nodded. “Yes, gum. He then apologised for the Vandals comments" you recalled that moment a week ago. “Benny then asked for my name, which I gave him, and he said it was pretty, that it suits me...then Mrs Martin showed up, and yeah, she wasn’t pleasant to him at all".
Both women stared at you, as you went back to your milkshake. “Bull" Sandra said, leaning over the table. “That’s not the story, right?”
“Yeah, its too...clean?” Fran said confused.
You wanted to laugh at their faces, but held back. “It’s the truth".
Both women sat back against the booth, utterly confused. As they began to tell you, the way they heard it was some big drama. That Benny was harassing you when Mrs Martin stepped in. Not to mention one retelling told that you were shamelessly flirting with Benny, practically in his hands, one palm on each cheek, and not that of your face. You blushed at the notion.
“If this is what we've heard, just imagine what your parents might hear" Fran's words sobered you up.
You hadn’t even thought about your parents, and God only knows what they’ll say, or do, if they hear the gossip of Benny and you. But it being after a week and only now had your friends heard about it. So, there could be a small chance they might not hear it. So long as you stayed clear of any further gossip, you might be in the clear.
Unfortunately for you, the other half of the gossip mill didn’t know your plan. You heard the bell above the diner door jingle and heavy feet. You were talking to your friends, not even caring about your surroundings. It was only when you glanced up to look at Sandra and Fran, discussing a coming movie to your local theatre, were you confused to see their shocked faces. They looked stunned, mouths slightly agape and eyes wide. Before you could questioned them the silence at your table was disturbed by an all too familiar gruff voice.
“Hey (Y/N)”
You turned only to find Benny. Who looked just as good as the last time you’d seen him. Only this time he was wearing dirty white jeans, black t-shirt and his denim vest that sported the Vandal colours. The way he looked at you with those baby blues of his, warm and twinkling. The way his full lips turned up in a shy, slightly toothy smile.
You felt one of your friends kick your foot, snapping you from your observation of him. “H-hi Benny...”
Hearing his name from your lips, in that honeyed voice of yours, had Benny's heart skipping a beat. His smile brightened, and he slowly began to relax. Finally, he noticed your companions, which he smiled at – but not as brightly as he had you. Benny even shot them a hey. You’d have laughed at their reaction to being acknowledged by the gorgeous Vandal. But you were busy trying to wrap your head around him being here in the first place. And even then, that voice in the back of your head was telling you to be careful, you don’t need more gossip getting around town.
“Mind if I join ya?” Benny asked, looking at you, yet not even waiting for your reply before slipping in into the booth next to you, boxing you in without an escape.
All you could do was look at Benny, not doubt like a deer in headlights, while he just continued to look at you. That charming smile on his lips. Both Fran and Sandra shared a look before turning back to you and Benny. One of the women cleared their throat, which got your attention. Turning from Benny, breaking the connection between you both. From there, they made small talk, which was mostly directed at Benny. Who only gave vague or one word answers.
You found it amusing how he didn’t seem to care for their attention. Yet when you spoke, he listened attentively and spoke to you. Slowly, you relaxed and were able to drink the rest of your milkshake, all while those baby blues watched you. Fran and Sandra eventually left, as they weren’t getting any of Benny's attention. So they slinked away with their tails between their legs.
“Finally, just us" Benny sighed, placing his arm on the back of the booth. His fingers brushing your clothed back.
A small, pleasant shiver ran down your spine. Your breath catching for a moment. You imagined what it would be like if you had been wearing a sun dress. How warm he would be, how rough those pads would be against your skin.
“You alright, sweetheart?” Benny's rough voice said into your ear, his breath fanning over you from how close he was to you.
When you turned to look at him, you were surprised to see how close Benny was. Being so close, you could see how blue his eyes were, with small specs of a darker blue. They were beautiful and captivating. You could easily get lost in those blues.
“A-ah, yeah...I'm fine" you squeaked out, making Benny chuckle.
He moved back a little, a warm smile crossing his lips at your words. “Good. I wanna know, do you wanna come to a meetin’ when I get back in town?”
You blinked. “You’re leaving?”
“Just for a few days, sweetheart," he replied, drumming his hands on the booth.
“Oh...” you muttered.
Then you took a moment to think over his offer. You knew you should keep your distance, stop any chance of gossip coming back to bite you. And yet, this was the second time he’d sought you out. Coming to talk to you. You should be running away from Benny Cross, and yet you wanted to move closer to him. Maybe you could be a girl he could want.
‘You sure?’ That voice asked. Yet you did your best to ignore it.
Pushing away your thoughts and insecurities, forgetting the repercussions that could come from talking and being seen with Benny. You couldn’t deny how you liked having his attention. So, you made your bed and planned to lie in it.
“Sure Benny" you smiled.
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edledamianfan · 2 days ago
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Ride homes late at night sure is a feeling, especially on a high way going at a fast speed on the way home. Looking at the window and u see the whole city below you. The lights and everything, it's just a feeling, fleeting moment that last with u for a lifetime.
I wonder that's what dick felt when he was Robin on the Batmobile. Every single night on the same roads, highways, going out, going back back after fighting crimes.
But there is something missing here.
Having music playing would've been nicer.
It would distract him from his thoughts.
Bats doesn't really do music ... but it doesn't hurt to ask. Well he did say no at first but after dick mentioning his thoughts about his parents and stuff. He reconsidered and ends up approving it.
Spooky decides picks the music until he realised he know nothing about today's music. So it look him a while until he found a playlist he seemed to find nice.
So the next time they're in the Batmobile, when the coast is clear and the night is saved and all they gotta do now is head home. Bats plugs in the USB for the songs and plays them.
Dick knows some of these songs. It's pretty popular in his time and there are some songs that he's not familiar with. But it gets him away from his thoughts so it's somewhat worked. He'll have to listen to it as this now their daily playlist.
The USB then stays there for a while even when dick is no longer here with Bruce, out doing his own thing. He didn't want to remove it.
And then a new Robin comes along. Jason asking what is that USB and Bats offers him if he wants to hear the playlist. He said yeah ofc.
1 min in he's thought to himself that Bats listens to popular songs, although these are kind of old. I guess he's somewhat the same like everyone.
And then Jason died.
USB was not touched again for a while until tim came along. Batman was pretty much on edge during this time, although curious about the USB Tim decides not to pry on it - directly to the man. Instead he sneak in back to the Batmobile during bed time just to see what's the USB is about. And then caught by Bruce himself.
Well he was mad at first but after realizing he was just curious what is in the plugged USB. Bruce decides to just show it for himself what it is about. Tim was definitely not expecting it to be a playlist. Bruce then asks if he wants to play this playlist. Tim just rolls with it.
Then Stephanie came along. She was pretty much straightforward asking what was in the USB. But Bruce was real defensive about it for some reason so Stephanie just shrinked back. He then realized his mistake and offers if she wants to hear the playlist. She happily accepts.
This time Bruce died.
Dick is now stuck with a kid he is not sure on how to handle. Stuck back in Gotham. Stuck in the costume he was trying to get away from.
He wasn't sure on how to do anything but he needs to do so anyways because he's the only one who can do it. This that happens and so the new dynamic duo was formed.
They then got in the Batmobile. And there Grayson is greeted again by that familiar USB. He thought he forgot, Bruce had changed Batmobiles a couple of time and with all that is happening he didn't think that he would remember to bring the inessential USB playlist into the new ride everytime.
He felt his warm all the same again.
Maybe a bit emotional.
But it maybe the inessential USB playlist gave him all the motivation and courage he needed at that moment.
He then stepped on the gas, drive out of the cave.
Into the night.
End note:
This was my playlist I was thinking about. U can check it out if u want! These are most of the songs I remembered that used to be on the car USB. Uhhh this ended up being longer than I thought I was gonna do like a short silly idea but hi if u reached the end 😅
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ragnarockz · 1 day ago
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Going to be really boring with the ask but: Agatha Harkness for:
5: What kind of tea do they like?
20: What would their favorite book series be?
And then Lilia calderu
12: How many piercings do they have, which ones, and how often do they wear them?
13: Would they let a small child paint their nails?
14: Are they a good babysitter?
and Jennifer Kale:
17: Math Gay, English Gay, or both?
THESE ARE SO GOOD I'M SO EXCITED!
Agatha:
5. What kind of tea do they like?
omg listen...I hear/read/see the word 'tea' and my brain goes ballistic. I LOVE tea; I have a tattoo of a TEA KETTLE. But aside from all that, I think she's definitely a herbal tea drinker. I mean, she probably had to make a lot of tea and know what plants were safe to ingest when she was living out in the woods with Nick and I think that stuck with her throughout time. Lots of good remedies/health benefits come from it and I think that's also something very magical (and hey yeah, plants can improve your health and well shit, RIO OUT HERE MAKING THOSE PLANTS!) That's a win/win situation right there.
(back to edit - making tea in Wandavision 🥰)
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20. What would their favorite book series be?
Ok so we all know she's a voracious reader I mean, the girl was trying to steal a (spell) BOOK. And, we had Detective Agnes go into an ACTUAL library to do her investigation and not use the (especially in this day and age) libraries website to find the book she was looking for. ALSO, HER HOUSE?
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Brb breaking in to steal all her books. As for a book series though, it's probably something old, maybe even a history series or mythology. She definitely feels like someone who knows her history (to use it as she will in the worst ways possible). Knowledge is power and knowledge is sexy.
(coming back to edit this post because I couldn't find the pic this morning but yeah! Agnes visiting the library! Just like me for real, I have two books due soon 😅)
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Lilia:
12. How many piercings do they have, which ones, and how often do they wear them?
I think she would just have her lobes, very European (especially Italian), to have your ears pierced at a very young age. And she would wear them all the time!
13. Would they let a small child paint their nails?
Oh for sure! 🥺 I think she would be wonderful around kids, especially younger ones. She brings such warm vibes and I think just her having some love and attention put onto her warms her heart.
14. Are they a good babysitter?
I would think so! Just...just don't feed any of those kids anything expired ma'am...please..
Jennifer:
17. Math Gay, English Gay, or both?
Oh she is very, very smart. Look how far that woman has come even BOUND. She has her own business! She was a midwife! A root worker! She had to know how to read and apply maths and sciences to her practices.
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fobsongfacts · 2 days ago
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So, anyone wanna talk about the lyrics to Deep Blue Love? Cause there’s no way this song is about his wife of 6 (at the moment of its release) years 😅
Also, I know it’s a soundtrack to a movie, but it doesn’t really fit the movie’s narrative all that much, so I can’t even say he wrote it about a character (unless I’m missing some metaphor or smth). Patrick is credited as the only writer of the song, so the lyrics are definitely his.
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I just can't believe I love someone so blue
{who could it possibly be? 🤔}
I've made up my mind, I'm out of mind
{took you long enough!}
Over you
I can't believe, I can't believe it's true
{what exactly about it is so hard to believe?}
My deep, blue, love, yeah
We've had some good times, we've had some bad
But I'd never take, I'd never take, I'd never take a single one back
And you're a special kind of broken heart, and you break me in two
{kinky}
You live like no tomorrow, I wanna spend tomorrow with you, yeah
From force to fight, from wrong to right
From bloodshot day to sleepless night
Please don't ever stop breaking my heart
{so, it’s definitely not about your wife, huh?}
I just can't believe I love someone so blue
Blue blue blue
Made up my mind, I'm out of mind
Over you, yeah
And I can't believe, I can't believe it's true
My deep, blue, love
I know your footsteps, I know your face
I know the smell of your hair when you get out the shower
I know you like your space
You're the only kind of love I want, but you break me in two, yeah
{what kind of love would that be, Patrick?}
You live like no tomorrow,
I want to spend all of our tomorrows with you {*cough*trade all my tomorrows for just one yesterday*cough*}
From person to pride, from wrong to right
{it’s such a weird line if you try to remove the queer meaning}
From bloodshot day to sleepless night
Please don't ever stop breaking my heart
I can't believe I love someone like you
{not a very nice thing to say, if you think about it, unless there is a serious reason for such astonishment - like, for example, it contradicts all your previous knowledge about your preferences🤭}
Made up my mind, made up my mind, made up my mind
It's you
I can't believe it's true
My deep, blue, love
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warcats-cat · 1 year ago
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human interaction!!
what's your favorite thing to write? what's your favorite part of the writing process? your least favorite?
what other fandoms, besides the ones you've written, would you want to write for in the future? If you were forced to write something about a fandom you knew very little about (let's say you get a summary of the plot and characters, plus whatever you might've absorbed via fandom posts from your mutuals), what fandom do you think you'd have the most luck with and why?
if you create OCs, what's your favorite OC that you've created? have you created any villain OCs? do you prefer Gen fics or romantic fics (both to read and to write)? who's your favorite comfort character? who's a character that probably shouldn't be comforting, but is anyway? who's a character that other people seem to love, but you just don't get the hype?
I hope this helps a little!! I'm always down to chat and trade asks!
20 questions 🤣🤣🤣 ok:
1) my favorite thing to write is also my favorite thing to read! Hurt/Comfort!!!!!
2) Most favorite part - Daydreaming about the characters/storyline while pretending to be mentally present at work!
3) Least favorite part - Making the words go 😢
4) I usually write what I know best at any moment - I've been eyeing some of the art/fic in the FNAF fandom lately but just kinda dipping my hands in, not really ready to dive in. I just love my Sanders Boys, ya know?
5) I think I could BS something from one of the classic animes, like Death Note or Naruto. I did watch Ouran Highschool Host Club and a few other sillier animes but my fandom experiences with those ended at looking at fanart. ((Wait, can Pokemon count? Can I do Pokemon? I know some Pokemon 👀👀👀))
6) my OC's are my DND characters and by far my favorite is Ink of Dreams, my cat-person thief 😍😍. Also Thistle, who isn't really an OC so much as my OC's pet 😅😅😅 If anything I guess HE would be my "favorite" because I talk about him all the time and he's in three dnd campaigns and I had a plushie made and I'm trying to have a movable puppet made...
7) RN I have a villain OC for a WIP I'm working on (read: poking with a stick like a dead animal) and I do enjoy writing her very much. She is an agent of chaos and I hate her so much, it's great 💜 I don't have a lot of experience doing the just straight up ridiculously depraved, but writing her is also giving me practice for writing future LRH adjacent fics involving Gabriel 👀👀👀
8) uuuuhhhhhh I like cuddles 😅😅😅😅 I'm fine with both, just not big on smut. I think I'm a little bit romantically starved tbh because sometimes I pull up a comfort fic that I know is gonna make me cry because I just kinda *need* to cry if that makes sense? I'm asexual and finding a romantic partner is hard 🥲 But anyway yeah I'm fine with both! RN I'm on a baby fic kick so send me babies 💜💜
9) My current comfort character is Patton from Sanders Sides, and no one is surprised. 😅 I just vibe with him a lot because in also a very emotionally-open and emotionally-invested person, I tend to be a caretaker and I like to be prepared in case someone around me needs help. And RN with fandom drama especially, I just feel connected with Patton. I also experienced a period of my life where I tried to help but made some mistakes and then was demonized and called an abuser, manipulative, gaslighter, horrible person and then I found out I was autistic so the things I was doing (like leaving a party to sit outside and decompress when I was overwhelmed and crying) weren't as common-sense and understood as I thought (aka said behavior was called me going off and crying to isolate people and make them come take care of me) ANYWAY. It's kinda funny because I've always bounced between Patton and Virgil for TS; it was mostly Virgil at first and then I had a gap where Good Omens took over, and then it was back to TS but now more vibing with Patton
10) I can't really think of a comfort character that would be considered "not good" besides like. The characters I call my "Anime Boyfriends", Jake English and Dirk Strider from Homestuck, but that's more because like,,, the creator of Homestuck kinda uses a *lot* of slurs,,,, but also I only read like 1/4 of the whole comic,,,, and I go off of fanon interpretations,,,, from ask blogs c2012,,, so.........
11) I do not understand the obsession with Janus and Remus. I'm gonna admit - I don't like them in canon. At all. I am ok with most fanon interpretations, but I just don't like them. I like the "Core Four" (Logan, Virgil, Patton, Roman) and that's it. And I do NOT look forward to the "orange side". And to be 100%, I get frustrated because I want to read poly fic of just the core four and so many people are tossing Janus and Remus in the mix and I just want to find the ones that don't and it takes *forever* to filter out all of the different variants of ships. 🥲 obv I'm not going to tell anyone else to stop enjoying their ships and characters, but I'm not gonna go searching for the stuff that I don't enjoy, either.
Thank you for the ask friend!! 💜💜 it's very much appreciated lol, and a lot of your questions really made me think 😅😅
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