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viharbinger · 2 years ago

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Happy Birthday!

pairings: scaramouche x capitano x diluc x itto x shinobu x ganyu x jean x beidou x gn!reader (separate)

context: how would they celebrate your special day?

warnings: none, ooc capitano so its kind of random on his part

tags: @nejibot @kujuo @touchsomegrassyall ��@vanillachaiii @vynrichterr @endless-red-flowers @astarriscus

a/n: its my birthday and i wanna treat myself with all the characters i love lolz (18/7)

Scaramouche

Would not plan any party for you, he's just not a people person- but would of course treat you like you're royal for the entire day! Reluctantly lets you braid his short hair, paint his nails, wear matching clothes, but of course, anything to make you happy

I feel like he'd give you one of his personal treasures he's had for awhile now, something meaningful, like a pendant he's kept that he thought matches the colour of your eyes, or a ring he stole centuries ago that he thought would look nice on you. Or, he'd just give you something you've been talking about wanting for awhile now

Literally struggles to even wish you happy birthday but makes up for it by giving you anything you want, he will spoil you rotten

Capitano

I know absolutely nothing about this man except that he's probably one of the nicest harbingers so I'm giving it all I've got *cracks knuckles*

Can't see him well under that dark knight helmet of his, except for the fact that he's probably sweating hella hard from how stressed he is on setting up the party. He just wants everything to be perfect!

To be frank here I still don't know anything about capitano so im going to assume- he doesnt know what he's going to gift you so he just gets a helmet just like his for you to wear too! He'll gush from how adorable you look and keep boasting about his mini-me to his comrades.

And if you dont like that, he'll just take everything off for the whole day, no fatui, no missions, not even the Tsaritsa, just him and you.

Diluc

Just like Scaramouche, Diluc wouldn't really throw a party because he also isn't much of a people person. But he would if he knows for sure you'll really like it

He is by far, probably the richest man in Teyvat. He will spoil you like a man does his dog, he'll be really extravagant and give you all kinds of things. Oh, you're looking at this 100k mora jewellery for quite some time- Sold. Not even thinking twice

And if you don't like all the riches and luxury, a long, long day of you two just cuddling and lounging around sounds just right

Itto

THE best party planner!! Would plan a surprise party for you except he struggles really hard to even keep it a secret. "So you know how my birthday is tomorrow so i was thinking..." "WHAT? HUH. ??? I CANT HEAR YOU READER.. GOTTA.. GO BYE" he sucks at this so he just avoids you

Makes sure everything is in place, his gang helping of course. Banners, cake, things you like, present pile, all the money he won from games is now put into the party!

Also makes sure to be your personal musicians playing in the party, his drum skills are awesome so you have to let him play. Before you knew it, you are getting sloppy kisses from the red horned oni and your birthday is already over c:

Shinobu

I honestly see you two just sitting at home, drinking and brewing homemade tea. Shinobu wouldn't want to do anything too excessive for you, she'd just like a nice relaxing moment with you.

She'll buy you cake of course, maybe a small one from a local bakery, or she'd even make one with you! She'll sing happy birthday, and bring in the gang too to celebrate your day if you'd like

Other than that, just sitting with each other and listening to the other's heartbeats is what she desires to do the most on your birthday.

Ganyu

Oh my god she's so sweet <3 she's gonna give the lifetime of gifts, everything you like! Hand wraps everything too, she'll be up all night just tying the ribbon over the other and they're all perfect.

She'll take off an entire week- no a MONTH to spend time with you. And the Qixing gave the days off to her anyway because she's had zero vacations for who knows how long. So what if birthdays are just one day, birthdays can last a whole month to her if she wants to !!

Has the strongest urges to get back to work but always find her way back to you :)

Jean

It's a miracle, the acting grandmaster stood up from her chair and out the office! Ooooh, she seems to be buying a.... Cake!

Would LOVE to go on a stroll with you in Mondstadt- walking around and eating your cake slice together sounds romantic. She'll sing you a happy birthday as well and treat you like you're the only person in the entire world that matters at the moment

She would buy you something from Marjorie's, wrap it all by herself the day before and give it to you when the sun was already about to set.

Beidou

Par. Ties. She'll host it on the alcor, and of course, alcohol. Theres no party that Beidou is in without beer!

During the party, you'll eat delicious fish, Liyue delicacies and more, you'll both be talking the entire night and dozing off next to each other when you're tired.

And she's gonna be absolutely wasted idk what to tell you. She's gonna slur a lot of loving sweet nothings to you, non stop kisses pressing all over from your palm to your lips

#. bee writes #genshin x reader #genshin imagines #diluc x reader #genshin impact #diluc ragnivindr x reader #kunikuzushi x reader #scaramouche x reader #scaramouche x reader fluff #jean x reader #jean gunnhildr x reader #ganyu x reader #itto x reader #arataki itto x reader #kuki shinobu x reader #shinobu x reader #beidou x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin headcanons

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mimik-u · 4 years ago

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“Snow Day” Thoughts:

Omg, Steven and I roughly wake up around the same time in the mornings. On weekdays, I drag my tired ass out of bed at seven, so I can have a few extra hours to myself to write and drink coffee before school and work.

Omg, I also drink a breakfast drink in the morning in lieu of eating breakfast. Wtf

AWH, the cheeseburger backpack!!! Remember when he was so excited to get it in the mail? 😭😭

SKSJSJS @ Garnet packing Cat Steven.

Omg, the Gems are in full mom mode, and I really love it. I’m tender. Steven is so bemused, though, lmao.

“Wait for us. We can head over together.” 😭 I’m going to be using this emoji a lot during this episode, okay?

“Yeah! Go get ‘em!” The Gems all place a hand on Steven’s head, and Steven scowls. 😭

No thoughts, only 😭.

“Surprise! We were sitting in the dark!” They were waiting on the couch for him!! Awhwhwhwhwhwhwhwh.

Do y’all remember back in S1 when the Gems were constantly leaving Steven behind to go on missions, when they were somewhat emotionally unavailable, when Steven slowly but gradually taught them how to play?? 😭

Awh, man, Steven. The gems are trying so hard to simply hang out with you, but you know, I get it. I think something about Future that’s really allowed me to empathize with Steven more than ever this series is that, well, he’s reminding me what it feels like to be sixteen. In and of itself, it’s a hella tense time. You’re navigating what it means to be on the precipice of adulthood while, really, you’re still just a kid in a lot of ways. You’re trying to reconcile the parts of your childhood that didn’t make sense, and well, sometimes hurt, and that manifests in ways you could never expect. You’re driving for the first time and gaining new friends, enjoying some newfound independence, but at the same time, you can be prone to moodiness. Hormones changing. The stress of school and extracurricular activities. You love your family, but in carving out your own identity, or, well, trying to figure it out in the first place, it’s far easier to push them away sometimes when you get stuck in your own head. Of, course, there’s no monolithic experience to being a teenager, but factor in some of these common struggles with Steven’s entire complex, which requires him to stress out over the tiniest details due to ingrained trauma, then, well, you haven’t got an excuse, but you absolutely have an explanation.

It’s so hard to be a teenager; it must be really hard to be a teenager with superpowers and a hell of a lot of unresolved baggage.

Does anyone know if there’s a meta reason Steven’s alarm is 7:13, lmao? That’s such an arbitrary number.

TOGETHER BREAKFAST. HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

The callback to that particular episode is really on point. In “Together Breakfast,” it was Steven who was trying to get the Crystal Gems to hang out with him, so he wouldn’t have to eat his pancakes alone. 😭

“Ooh, we can re-read No Home Boys.” / “And I’ll do all the voices.” 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Another fitting callback. The theme of No Home Boys was, well, the main characters didn’t have a home, an anxiety that Amethyst above all used to metaphorically espouse. But then, with Pearl and Steven’s help, she came to realize that, yes, she did have a home. She’s always had a home. And it was never the Kindergarten.

“Man, you had a better work-life balance when the Diamonds were trying to destroy the planet.” SKDJDJDJS.

“Classic Steven.” / “Classic Steven????????” || And here’s the gist of the episode. The Gems are nostalgic for the way things used to be, for the things that Steven used to like, for the child he once was. They want to play with him. Steven loved to play sm. But Steven doesn’t want to go backwards; he thinks he’s put away his childhood and all that it ever entailed.

But really, I think this episode is going to school Steven in one of the most important lessons that’s so easy to forget in the daily grind of life: It’s okay to still be a kid sometimes, no matter your age, no matter your maturity.

PEARL DRAMATICALLY FALLING WHEN SHE GETS TAGGED JS SO FUCKING FUNNY ROEOEOFKDSMSKKSIFCIFIS.

“Ha! Jokes on you! Pearl doesn’t shapeshift—” OH MY GO D. PEARL IS SHAPESHIFTIN G

THE DEVELOPMENT????????? THE EVOLUTION!!!!?????

(The last time Pearl shapeshifted, it was to try and bring an end to a war. It was for her Diamond. It was for Rose. This time, it’s for Steven. It’s for helping him to re-learn what it means to play.)

STEVEN IN PEARL’S PALETTE LOOKS SO WRONG. HELP.

Knowing what a big step it is for Pearl to shapeshift, Amethyst and Garnet go and throw her in the air. Even Steven murmurs, “Wow, good for her.”

I’M TENDER. 😭😭😭

That one shot of Garnet holding a frame up to pretend like she’s a picture is very funny.

“Steven, no! I just folded those!” WOOWWOSJSJSJSKSJSJJSSN. HELP. I love Pearl.

SUGILITE STEVEN?!!!???!?))3$:$&:8:&:

HELLO?!!!!?!!!

(Omg, I think with Sugilite now, we’ve pretty much seen all the main CG fusions in Future except for Obsidian, Sardonyx, and Opal.)

SCRATCH THAT! SARDONYX STEVEN.

OPAL STEVEN.

HELP?!/&39:8:’skskssksksk

OPAL USING GARNET AS AN ARROW DOROEODKSKSKSJS.

Related but unrelated, Sugilite, Sardonyx, and Opal’s themes have always been so good, omg.

“It was a snowman. With Steven’s jacket.” Garnet collapses dramatically to the ground. “NOOOOOOOOOOO.” OWOWOEODJDDJDJMSSKJSSJ.

ALEXANDRITE STEVEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Her theme is so good, too, omg.)

RUBY AND SAPPHIRE STEVEN??? THEY’RE SO ADORABLE???????????

SAPPHIRE HELP DOEOWEOSMDJDIOEOENDMDNSDJDNIDDJDJJDDOSKSOSIDJDODI.

I love Cat Steven with my entire heart

“He’s so cute!!!” / “No, I’m not.” WOSKDNSKSSKSJ HELP

But Steven also makes a salient point: He’s not the same kid that he was anymore, and he doesn’t want to be seen as that kid.

UGH, THE GEMS HUGGING HIM AS STEVEN. It’s here we most get the sense of how small he used to be. He’s grown up so much.

“Please forgive us.” / “We didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.” / “We just miss you, Steven.” HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

😭😭😭😭

AND THEN THEY ALL PLAY TOGETHER. STOP. ImM GONNA CRY

AND THEN THE NEXT DAY, THEY ALL GO TO SCHOOL TOGETHER. I CANT DO THIS. I LOVE THIS FSMILY

No final thoughts, only 😭😭😭😭.

This might be my favorite episode in the season so far.

#pearl #garnet #amethyst #steven universe #s: future #steven universe future #mimiku

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la5t-res0rt · 4 years ago

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Wanted to ask about beetlelyds, sorry, I thought it was technically cannon? Like in the old comics after the show ended she grew up and married him. Sorry I’m an old school fan and have no idea why this whole thing is such a big deal. Wasn’t the actor like 20 too? I’m sorry if I sound very dumb. I’m not used to this new tumblr.

youre fine you are one hundred percent allowed to especially when you do it civilly as you have done here

first of all the biggest issue faced in the whole what is and is not canon debate is the fact that there are three (four if you count the limited comics run) publicized iterations of my media

i will go over each very briefly just kidding this is going to a long answer so i will spare the dashboard with a readmore

there is the movie which im sure you dont need me to explain the plot since youre an old school fan but basically the climax is that yes beetlejuice does go for the marriage angle in exchange for stopping the exorcism of adam and barbara and his motive for this is so that he can cause as much chaos as he wants on the mortal coil but his plan is thwarted when barbara rides a sandworm into the house which promptly eats beetlejuice sending him to bureaucratic death limbo

the end of the movie features the deetz and the maitlands happily living together with lydia havign a new appreciation for her situation and beetlejuice gets his head made real small which is very funny haha

so no in the movie they are not canon editors note the actress who played lydia winona ryder was a teenager while filming the movie she turned 17 the year it released��

the next is the cartoon which i will admit has the most grounds for being considered canon but in the end the show is about a middle schooler and her best friend who is a ghost which in itself is a pretty iffy gray area sort of thing but for a childrens cartoon to work a friendship is better than the obvious enemy status they held in the movie

anyway in the cartoon they are potrayed to be very close friends with lydia being the person beetlejuice cares about the most and honestly if you were to watch it with no prior knowledge of the media and if you ignored their massive and obvious age difference than yeah you probably would read it as a romantic relationship

however lydia is a middle schooler and that is simply immoral

there have been writers for the cartoon who have been credited to say that a relationship is what they were trying to invoke but for obvious reasons they couldnt exactly move forward with that angle with them establishing that lydia is a child in middle school and a fully grown adult man dating a child who is in middle school is immoral and also illegal in the united states and in canada

this isnt a good argument for whether or not something is canon and i will tell you why with one simple name and that is luke weber

if you dont know who luke weber is he was a storyboard artist on the cartoon steven universe he is known for making a lot of self ship artwork of him and the character pearl

he worked on the show isnt his material canon no of course it isnt it wasnt put in the actual publication and also if memory serves he was eventually asked to leave the project after he drew art of the shows creator giving him permission to date pearl and calling them her otp and a lot of fans hated this because the most generally accepted interpretation of pearls character is that she is sapphic so a lot of people took issue however that again is just a widely perceived headcanon it is never stated what her actual sexuality is no one in that show is because it isnt a show about that its about wait im getting off topic sorry

what im saying is what can truly be considered canon is what you see on the screen and with the cartoon they are definitely the most friendly with each other and that is why so many people in the beetlebabe shipping community take so much stock in the cartoon because it is the easiest to read the relationship between the mas romantic although that is not what the show actually provides in black and white terms

interpretation does not equal canon and in this case no matter what anyone says the fact remains that in the cartoon itself they are friends good friends yes but friends all the same

it is definitely not a show about a grown man grooming an adult and if it were you definitely shouldn’t be stanning it the extreme because grooming a minor is wrong and it is apparently a problem in the fandom

anyway if the cartoon and the movie are both products of their time and there was more leniency on content bear in mind this was the same era as notorious animation powerhouse and known predator john k who was a showrunner on ren and stimpy and he maintained a relationship with a teenager which was an open secret that nobody really took issue with because in that time being a woman in the animation industry was tricky business and your career could be ended easily if you rejected advances luckily time has moved forward and the animation industry although still full of problems of a similar nature at least people are getting called out and punished for it

you can look more into that yourself its really upsetting though

as for comics i havent been able to find good scans of them and im not willing to purchase them but in my search i never found anything about the two of them ever being married in the cartoon again because she is a child i did find a cover where he appears to be getting married and hes asking lydia to get him out of it but im not sure where the comic actually goes all i know is she is standing off to the side shrugging and looking like she doesnt really care

anyway that brings us to the musical which is set in the modern day

in the original libretto lydia is described as thirteen but since they got an actress who was older in the updated librettos she is listed as 15 and the story is pretty similar to the movie the young girl befriends ghosts and they try to scare her family out etc etc

the major difference between the film and the musical are that lydia and beetlejuice are more like friends like in the cartoon

she summons him to help scare after the maitlands attempt doesnt really work so he shows up and they have fun terrorizing people together however she drops him for the opportunity to perhaps get her mom back but when no one will help she goes back to beetlejuice who tricks her into almost exorcising barbara

she agrees to marry him in order to stop the exorcism and he only wants to get married so he can be alive again and cause problems on the mortal coil like in the movie in the musical he states several times its a green card thing whihc obviously doesnt make it okay but still

anyway lydia tricks him and runs off into the underworld before the wedding can happen blah blah blah she goes back blah blah and she agrees to go through with the wedding to save her friends and family with a plan to make him go away for good

theres a very tongue and cheek song called creepy old guy which points out how wrong the whole thing is but everyone is going along with it in a very comedic matter and it includes the line

i cant believe some cultures think this kind of things alright

basically saying yeah this is very very wrong anyway they do get married and beeltjeuice is alive for like 6 seconds before lydia stabs him to death with bad art and he dies thus nullifying the marriage because death do you part etc

so in the musical no at the end of the show they are not canon because he is dead their marriage is nullified and they go their separate ways

anyway sorry about that i just need to make it very clear that these three properties are all very distinct from each other and basically all three are indeed canon since they are publicized material and arguing the validity of which one is pointless editors note all actresses who played with the exception of dana steingold were minors for the majority of their runs as lydia with sophia ann caruso the originator of the role turning 18 during the run and dana being in her late twenties presley ryan however was a minor the whole time and still is one

tldr no they aren’t canon but to the credit of some people in this fandom their interpretation isnt too far of a stretch thanks to the era and some of the writers wishing to imply a relationship between an adult and a child

i also need to address how this is all a big deal and i suggest you take a peak through my discourse tag and check out @leedia‘s blog to see some of the more harmful things done by beetlebabe shippers

the beetlejuice fandom is home to many minors after the musical came out since musical fandom is vast and the ages of its members varies and normalizing pedophilia is harmful to them not to mention the people who have been effected by sexual harassment at the hands of adults

both sides have victims of csa but one side continues to perpetuate the cycle by showing time and time again that this behavior is normal and easily romanticized in the name of coping and literally anyone who has ever been to a good and credible therapist could tell you that posting cp even if it is simulated cp isnt a really good way to cope and you can get mad at me for saying that its totally fine but and im going to remove my character veil here for just a second as a csa survivor myself i think its harmful to not only myself but many others ok the veil is back down

tldr again there is a lot of bullying and harassment going on with both sides having their own issues but there is one side whos issues run a bit deeper in my humble opinion

thank you for your question it allowed me to talk a lot you are welcome to discuss further with me in dms if you wish i honestly recommend giving the musical a listen because it is very fun and despite what some people say its very clever and if you get a chance to see a boot of it its visually stunning

one last note that i couldnt really fit in here but a large portion of the beetlebabes shipping community ignore the musical because it openly condemns the idea of beeltejuice and lydia having a relationship and a lot of the antis take issue with much of the writing and characterizations of the cartoon just a note that i think is important since were talking about canon

#discourse #long ask #i am so tired #Anonymous

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vegetacide · 4 years ago

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TaG: Bloodlines (Part 9 Bit 1 )

Veg • notables: Due to the length of this part I am splitting it up into two bits.

Any errors in this are strictly my own

Ty to @gumnut-logic and @scribbles97 for the brainstorming help and the encouragement.

Also a special thanks for Nutty for letting me borrow Gordon's talking bird from her fic "The Dentist" (Part 11)

Rating and General warning: Mature content head. If you are not a fan of medical issues of a female nature in relation to pregnancy please proceed with caution.

Characters: Virgil, Kayo, (V/K), Jeff, Scott

Location: TaG-verse AU | Tracy Island

E N J O Y

8-8-8

Part 9 - Dipisahkan (Bit 1)

Week later...

“...and now for international news. A suspected homicide and fire in an internet café in Istanbul has been downgraded to Death by Misadventure as autopsy reports conclude the presence of a high concentration of narcotics found in the remains of the establishments proprietor, Berk Demir The café has long since been suspected as being associated with several black-market smugglers groups and dark web anarchist but to date authorities have been unable to obtain the necessary proof to back the claims...”

Kayo groaned and rolled her eyes as she flicked off the holo-fed. She was not in the mood to listen to criminal reports and activities when there was nothing she could do to help.

There were criminal elements the world over like that cafe, some of which she’d had an active hand in shouting down over the course of the last few years. From human trafficking, to the sales of banned chemicals or other components that could cause a loose of life and had on some occasions.

She’d helped where she could, always hopeful despite the odds that it would help bring to justice the man that had caused so much pain to so many people.

Whatever it took to protect those she called her family and humanity as a whole, she would do it. The GDF had simply to ask and she was there.

Being bound to the villa and watching what was going on in the world though was like dangling a carrot and the best course of action as she sat here and incubated another life was to avoid it at all costs.

On top of that, the recommendation that she relocated to the mainland and even be further removed from everything was hard for her to swallow.

After talking to Jeff and Scott that following morning after that little revelation by her OB-Gyn her life had been completely taken from her control. Grandma had joined the conversation as well and had agreed wholeheartedly that thought the island was a good place for her to recuperate and rest for the time being, the long term relocation was the best course of action.

Grandma had been a respected and well known doctor before her retirement but obstetrics and neonatal care had not been her chosen discipline. If there was a need for something more than just childbirth she didn’t feel adequately suited for the task.

That with the addition to the island not being equipped with the necessary supplies and it didn’t take much to convince Virgil of their one and only recourse.

So it looked like she was getting evicted and kicked even further afield from the action that made up her regular daily life. Relegated to a gestational oven, far away from home.

Tossing the remote on the coffee table she flopped back and stared up at the ceiling. Bored out of her gourd and feeling completely helpless for the first time in a long time.

From across the room she heard a chuckle and tipped her head further back to look at her father in law.

“Lucy had a hard time doing nothing too. Especially when she was pregnant with Alan.” He said, exchanging his data pad for his cane and coming over to join her.

“Please tell me, you found a way to stop her going insane with boredom.” Kayo griped, righting herself with a grunt of effort.

“She tried to take up knitting but with Gordon in the house…. It didn’t go over well.” Jeff assumed a casual stance though he was favouring his right leg a bit. After all his time in space, his recovery was slow and his joints were not enjoying gravity in the slightest.

Kayo made a face as she pictured the mess that must have been. “Well, there is no way I am taking up knitting now, Gordon is worse now than when he was a kid.”

Jeff laughed with ease at that, nodding his head in agreement with her statement.

“Yes, it’s best to keep him away from pointy sticks and yarn. He too easily falls into temptation. “

They fell into a companionable silence. Just enjoying each other's company like they used to do when she was little and she was too annoyed or upset to hang out with the rambunctious brothers.

It was weird how easily they fell back into the old routine, Jeff taking care of Tracy Industries and her doing any number of other quiet activities.

Oftentimes when she came to sit with him, it was just so she could feel closer to her own father. Wherever he was. She knew Jeff was aware of it but he always made time for her when she needed the comfort and he never made mention of it either. Knowing she was trying to put on a brave front in front of the rest of the family.

“It’s a beautiful day out.” He remarked, he’s face turned towards the large open balcony doors, the light breeze tousling his grey hair. “Would you care to go for a stroll, I could use the company.”

Kayo grinned and gave a nod. Getting to her feet on her own steam for a change was a nice boost to her confidence. Jeff stood close by to help but he didn’t ask or pester her like his sons were want to do and she was grateful for it.

She loved all her extended family very much but they tended to treat her like she was glass and would break at any minute even her husband. God, she loved him but his over protectiveness was starting to drive her batty.

Being the well brought up man that he was, Jeff offered her his elbow as they made their way out the balcony doors and towards the veranda stairs.

She tucked her hand in the crock of his arm, enjoying the warmth he offered her. Circling the pool they came to the top of the trail head that led in a gentle descent down the cliff side to the tide pools that sat below the mammoth villa.

It really was a beautiful day out and Kayo let her thoughts drift as the smells and sounds of their island home surrounded her.

Tropical birds danced and chirped amongst the tall palms and ferny underbrush and she caught a flash of iridescent black and a streak of white as something dove across their path. Stopping to see where it went off to, her and Jeff blinked as whatever it was squawked and chirped and burped at them before something that sounded vaguely like ‘Virgil’ hailed down from further up the path.*

“Did that bird…?” Kayo asked, slightly confused.

Jeff just sighed and shook his head. “I thought Gordon was joking when he said he taught a honeyeater to talk.”

“A what now?” She was more baffled than ever.

Jeff just patted her hand and they continued on their way.

They meandered on at a sedate pace for a few minutes, taking their time to traverse the well used path in no rush to reach any particular destination.

Coming around a bend they reached a small lookout where a large outcropping of rock had been worn smooth by the elements making for a perfect place to park one’s backside.

Jeff grunted as he settled onto the warm, volcanic rock and patted the space beside him in invitation.

“I’ve always wondered..” Kayo started, kicking off her sandals and sighing contentedly as the sun-kissed warmth of the basalt soothed her feet.

“Wondered what?” Jeff encouraged, tipping his cane back and forth between his hands.

“How did you manage it?” The look he sent her and the cant of his head pushed her to elaborate further. “Being away from home so often?”

“Ah,” He remarked as he caught on to her meaning. “While Lucille was pregnant and the boys were little.”

His brows dipped down as he thought of how best to respond, his jaw working back and forth as if he was chewing on the answer. “Funny you should ask actually.”

Her brow arched up as she regarded him, watching the quirk of his lip as he glanced her way. “How so?”

“Virgil asked something similar.” He didn’t elaborate more on that. Just went back to chewing on an answer for her previous inquiry. “Well, I can tell you one thing. It wasn’t easy. There were a lot of late night comms calls that made me glad that NASA didn’t charge long distance fees. And prior to the lunar communications relay being built, a lot of long, mopey emails that Lucy loved to tease me about to no end.”

“Virgil’s been barely gone a day and he’s already checked in with me three times…” Her voice trailed off and she pointed to the heavens. “You kept going back out there. I just….how?

She really wanted to know the answer cause she had been asking the same thing to herself all week and she hadn’t been able to come up with an answer.

“A job needed to be done and I had the skill set for it. The world didn’t get put on hold just cause we decided to have a kid...and another... and another..” He chuckled to himself. “ And so forth.”

“I just told myself whenever I left, get it done. Get it done right, precisely and correctly and get home. Keep on tasks and I’ll be home before I know it. For the most part that worked, kept me focused. When it didn’t there was plenty a night where Lucy was there..”

He sighed and rubbed at his chest. An old ache that would never go away and she felt a pang of guilt for bringing it up.

“You two will figure it out though.” He added taking a cleansing breath, the sadness that hung in his gaze dulling as he shifted his train of thought away from his dearly departed.

“It won't be easy, they will be a few bumps but you’ll manage. Besides on the days when things don’t work, the little nuget will have four uncles and great grandmother and an ecstatic Grandpa waiting the wings to lend a hand.”

Kayo looked down at her slowly distending tummy, her doubt churning with all the things they could mess up and would mess up.. But Jeff was right. They weren’t alone. They had a large support system that was just as excited as they were for their little stowaway and they would figure it out.

A bleep from Jeff’s wrist comms sounded and he glanced down to read the holographic message that had been sent to him. His brows dipped and he took a moment to send back a brief reply before giving her knee a pat.

“Boys are on their way back. Should be here soon.”

“Everything okay?”

He nodded as he held out the crook of his arm to her again. “Few bumps and bruises. Alan sprained his ankle but Virgil saved him from a nastier spill.”

Before she could ask about her husband, Jeff raised a hand. “Virgil is alright too but I am sure Grandma will have them both scanned within a inch of their lives the moment they get home.”

Placated for the time being, she took the offered limb and they made their way back up the cliff side path.

When Two finally landed some thirty minutes later, Kayo was chomping at the bit. True to Jeff’s word though Grandma had both Virgil and Alan in her clutches within moments of them disembarking the massive cargo hauler.

Alan limping along, Virgil and Gordon each under an arm. The stretcher had been an option but the youngest Tracy had kicked up a fuss that it wasn’t really that bad.

Grandma had taken one look at the dirty lot of them and all thoughts of complaint had fled in the face of all that Doctor Grandma-feel my wraith energy.

It was another twenty minutes before Kayo even had a chance to check in with her husband and when she finally managed to get a moment along with him he gathered her up in a hug and it didn’t appear as if he wanted to let go.

He was freshly showered and changed. Hair and skin still a slightly damp and smelling of soap.

Running her hands up and down his back, her head tucked into the crook of his neck she gave him a gentle squeeze which he reciprocated.

“Hey, tough day at the office?” She said into his ear.

“Something like that.”

Taking his hand Kayo tugged him toward the elevator. “Come on, let’s get you fed and watered before you get called away again.

“That’s supposed to be my job.” The grin that up turned his lips chased some of the shadows away from his eyes

“Well then, hurry up and I may let you mother-hen me. Though I will warn you, I can’t be held responsible if I start throwing things at you.”

“Oh, there’s a challenge if ever I heard one.” He chuckled, tucking her in under his arm as they passed through the heavy doors into the cab.

“So,” She started, hitting the button for the upper level. “How’d it go?”

Virgil shrugged with one shoulder. “Couple amateur rafters got into trouble on a class five that they had no business being anywhere near. Alan lost his footing as we were pulling them to shore. He’ll be alright in a few weeks, the rafters on the other hand are going to be getting some hefty fines for trespassing on a private reserve.”

The elevator dinged and the doors opened to the kitchen. “Sucks to be them.”

The awesome scent of roast chicken had Virgil distractedly grunting in agreement and Kayo grinned. The thought of food had obviously caused his brain to short out and speech had taken a back seat to hunger.

Coming up to the counter, she peaked around Virgil’s shoulder to admire the spread of food. Cecilia had been busy.

The Haitian woman was a genius in the kitchen and the boys had been spoiled rotten lately with her cooking.

Carb loading had turned into the number one pastime for the brothers and they endeavoured to consume as much as possible before her departure for the mainland with Kayo. There had been talk around the table about hiring her on full-time once the baby was born but it usually took second place to food shoveling and breathing.

‘Cecilia, that smells fantastic.”

“Virgil Tracy, you keep your fingers out of that roast. It’s not done yet.” The tall woman swatted at his hands with her baster and stole the carrot back that he had managed to pilfer. “Don’t blame me if you get salmonella poisoning. There is no way I am going to be held at fault for tossed cookies on the next call out. You hear me?”

“Yes, ma’am.” Chastised he took a seat and watched with longing in his eyes as the food guru went back to work

Kay just rolled her eyes and plunked down onto the stool beside him, tossing a leg over his thigh as she got comfortable.

He glanced down at it and grinned, putting hand on her knee and giving it a little squeeze.

“Comfortable?”

“Yup.”

Getting a little distracted Kayo jumped a bit when a cup of tea was placed in front of her. The scent of ginger tickled her sinuses and she looked up to see Cecilia standing across from her with her arms on her hips and a tea towel tossed over her shoulder.

“Drink up. You need to keep hydrated.” She instructed, pointing at the cup. “And no hanky panky in my kitchen.”

Virgil’s hand dropped from where it had slid up her thigh and he did his best to look innocent.

“Don’t you play coy with me.” The tall woman scolded, placing a cup of coffee in front of him. “It’s what got the two of you into all this baby hubbub in the first place and I don’t want it in my kitchen.”

Reprimanded they checked themselves and they both directed their attention at their respective drinks.

Foot falls down the stairs had Kayo turning to see Scott. He flashed a smile as he approached, data pad in hand.

“Hey, thought I would find you here.” He said, walking behind the counter to snag a fresh cup of coffee.

“Food was a necessity.” Virgil smirked, taking a sip from his own cup.

“John’s finished making those upgrades to the security system at the house in Parnell and the rota’ has been adjusted for the next few days until you get everything settled.” Scott held the data pad out to Kayo so she could see.

She blinked surprised she was being included in this even though she was the security specialist in the family. Taking the pad she flicked through the information that it provided. Updated security measures, upgrade gear and protocols. All things she had improved upon recently when Jeff had come home with little tweaks here and there by John for surveillance and anti-surveillance measures.

She was impressed and it must have shown on her face.

“You trained Hubbert well.” Scott remarked, a telling comment on his approval of their T.I security crew. “He has assigned Baxster and Jenkins to watch over things at the house and escort you to and from your appointments and such.”

“They’ll do. They both had advanced hand to hand tactics training and a working knowledge of counter intelligence measure that could come in handy if…” She paused and corrected herself. “When the media gets wind.”

“GDF has agreed to lend us a couple of bodies as well so we aren’t stretched too thin. They’ll be made available when needed.”

Looking into his coffee cup Virgil questioned, “You sure this is going to be okay?” Kayo knew he hated to be a burden on his brothers, preferring to be the one to provide support and not the one that needed it.

Scott gave his shoulder a pat. “Don’t worry, we got it. Even with Alan down we can cover things for a few days until you get back. Aunt Val is aware we are limited for a few days and is making preparations on her side if the need arises.”

Virgil didn’t look all that convinced but there wasn’t much he could do. His hands were tied as much as hers were.

“I still don’t like this.”

“I know, Bro.” Scott gave him a nudge and his large frame rocked slightly with it. “Pulling you from rotation completely is still an option if you want to take it.”

He shook his head. “No, that won’t work. Our effectiveness will go up in smoke and I don’t want that on my conscience anymore than you do.”

“But it’s my burden to take on as field commander, V. Not yours.”

This was just going around in circles and it wasn’t really getting them anywhere. Kayo nudged her husband from the other side.

“Come on, take me for a walk up to the lookout. I want to watch the sunset before dinner and it looks like we have the time.”

Cecilia who had been busily chopping greens for a salad nodded her head in confirmation when Kayo looked to her to verify.

“Besides, I could use a light exercise. I feel like I am starting to resemble a blimp.

Virgil choked on his coffee and turned to her. “A blimp? Hardly.”

Giving Scott a wink, she took a sip of her tea content for the time being that the heavy talk had been effectively brushed aside. This was one that she knew they would come to rehash again later though she knew there really was no use in it.

They had to do what they had to do. Moving to the mainland though a pain was their only option and Virgil needed to keep doing what he was doing. As Jeff has said, the world didn’t stop just because they were with child.

8-8-8

End of Part One

#thunderbirds are go #thunderbirds fanfic #fanficton #fanfic #TaG Bloodlines #vegetacide #Virgil Tracy #Kayo Kyrano #virgil/kayo #Virgil X Kayo #Jeff Tracy #Scott Tracy

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brokemylegflippingthefirewall · 4 years ago

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*This is absolutely a fic promotion, but plz hear me out on the discourse part too

So, self inserts and original characters, the worst fanfic catgeory (fanfiction.net literally says that in one of its fic groupings, and I'm pretty sure the number of views on any fanfic website says the same).

TLDR- Yes, I agree that this stereotype carries truth, but I do think SIs and OCs have more potential to be explored, and the stigma surrounding these labels is blocking that. And oh god I just want to know so badly if this is the deal with the work I'm currently writing or if I genuinely just can't write well.

The longer version- (this was written quite late into the night/ I'm in Singapore/, and might not be so well organized, I apologize for that.)

To what extent is this stigma "justified"? I mostly use AO3 for reading fics, and when I see the OC/SI tag, the thing is....I came to look for fics about canon characters and might not have the wish to invest my time in taking in a new character. I understand that most people who read fanfiction would feel the same. This, I think, is more or less justified. If you came to look for a certain canon character/relationship, and you don't want to get invested in any OCs, then of course the OC/SI tag isn't for you.

But... I think that's about it. Bcs here's the thing,

1. Using the OC/SI format does NOT automatically make the fic worse in quality. Hell, I'm not even sure if the statistical "fact" that these tags generate the worst fics is true. Judging from what I've read in the tma fandom and my other past fandoms, the stuff with OC/SI isn't inherently worse or better than the rest of the fics. There are ones that are pretty normal in writing quality, and the ones where the prose is rly good, others where plot design stands out etc. Of course, there is a lot of wish fulfillment and the like, but... there's also a lot of that in fics that write about canon characters.

2. I can't really say whether a wish fulfillment "I just want to write cool scenes/fluff" fic is better or worse than a more serious fic that explores some characterization or plot point. I think stories (all stories, books, fanfic, myths, everything) exist to entertain us and make us feel things. I am not sure if writing a feel good story is any less meaningful than writing a story that brings people "deeper" thoughts and makes them feel good in some other way. And this isn't even the issue at hand, because fundamentally, writing an OC/SI or not doesn't determine what the content is about. I agree that a larger proportion of OC/SI fics tend to be more on the lighthearted side, but... so is most of the content consumed in the other tags. Readers don't seem to have a problem with feel good stories/fix it fics etc when there is no OC or SI, so I don't see why that type of fic paired with an OC/SI should be considered any less "meaningful".

3. Guys/gals, what is an OC/SI?

Yes, it is very personal, and it is very wish fulfillment, but... isn't that like a common literature thing...like in general? Look at the works that "real writers" publish, from contemporary to the classics, which writer doesn't write about themselves? Like, just off the top of my head, Les Miserables, Marius? Um, Dante's Inferno? (and that guy did not self insert into some random thing he straightup went for the Christian Canon😂 used his real name too, so Jonny I guess if you feel awkward about your MCs name you can think of Dante//Jk). But seriously, self insert and wish fulfillment is a big part of literature itself, and while there are things to be said about these tropes, if people don't have that much of a problem with them in other literature, I don't see why fanfic OC/SIs shouldn't be treated the same.

4. in relation to the last point. More specifically...

I do think that a lot of fanfiction which write about the original characters are also OC/SIs to different extents. I've read fics that depict pairings where the author and readers project heavily onto one (or more) of the characters. I've read stuff where the author uses a minor character to explore the established world building/character dynamics and it's clear that it's an SI but with the appearance of being a canon character (and yes it gets tons more views than one that's written as SI). How do I know this? Because I am one of those readers who project onto those characters, and I know why I read those fics, I know why I like them. It's because I can self insert, and feel like I am part of the story, part of the world. Isn't that something most people want to do? I mean, Universal Studios? Specific franchise themed museums? COSPLAY??? Of course that's not all there is to engaging with a story, but what's the shame in wanting to be a part of an already established world building, or want to love a wonderfully designed character? (slight tangent, but if u feel like it's bcs ur not as interesting/cool as the story's world or other characters appear to be then I can tell you with certainty that's not true. You are very interesting and cool and absolutely deserve to be part of a fantasy world.) Isn't that a big part of why "real literature" is written and read as well? So... what's the problem with being like, okay, I'm just gonna insert myself into the world now, through this original character? Of course, I'm not asking for people who prefer to write strictly in canon characters to change that. What I mean to say is, writing it in the form of an OC/SI, doesn't make it a lot different from other fics, or hell, from classic literature even.

I think a potential problem might be the feeling that you are taking too much creative liberty with something that is established canon, by having your own character directly interact with it. But, um, can't the same thing be said if you take a canon character, and then proceed to project heavily onto them? Like, a big part of why I don't feel comfortable writing just canon characters is that I know I'm clearly projecting and it feels awkward to rewrite an already established character to explore my own thoughts/desires. I would rather just straightup design a new character. (this is all just personal feelings, I haven't thought enough about this to make any kind of argument here. And of course, the main reason is I can't trust myself to write canon characters that don't ooc in some way so having one as my protag might kill me with my own awkwardness. )

5. the potential.

Now this is looking far ahead because I'm not sure how much our current system for distribution of knowledge & copyright can allow it. But damn. The OC/SI thing has a lot of potential. There is one thing that makes it different from writing in canon characters, and that is the way it opens up a clear space for you to add your own experience into the story. When exploring your own world view through the lense of an already established world, or vice versa, so much can be revealed about both, perhaps even bringing to light aspects of the narrative the author hadn't previously seen. We all know this feeling, it's when we ramble on about one of our stories or worlds to a friend, and they point something out, and we're like ooooh that makes a lot of sense but I hadn't thought about it before. Yea, like those moments. Stories are generally made more interesting by their interaction with many different perspectives/experiences. With OC/SI it straightup allows you to be like, okay, I'm going to engage my own experience with this fictional world/character now. I mean, isnt that also a large part of how fanfics work in general? Readers/writers bouncing symbols and experiences off each other in the form of stories? Reading about the various interpretations of canon stuff? Whats the problem with tagging it as it is? I'm just thinking about the fics that could have been written as OC/SI and explored the story in some fascinating way which weren't written at all or were discontinued bcs the number of views discouraged those authors. (I feel that with my current work as well, though I have already written half of it and the remaining half is too juicy to give up so I'll probably be completing it)

6. conclusion, sorta

I guess what I want for OC/SO fics is just the same treatment as everything else. Saw it in the tags you were searching for? Look at the teaser. Do you find it interesting? No, then very well. Yes, then click in and take a look. Do you like the writing style? Are you getting into the narrative?... etc. You know, like, same standards you would have for any other kind of fic. Not feeling like you want to read about a new character? Cool, no problem at all, click away. But I do not think that the current difference in number of views is just based on whether readers are interested in reading about a new character or not. In fact, that's what I want it to be. Show me that "true" difference, the one without the stigma behind it, because, as the same goes for every kind of stigmatized community, you're not receiving the proportionate amount of positive feedback, but what's worse is you can't even trust the criticism you receive. If no one engages, or someone gives a negative feedback, how am I supposed to know if it's because my writing is bad? or my teaser wasn't interesting? or my character was badly written/designed? Or if it was to a certain extent, bcs of the stigma? I do want criticism, of course I do, it's the first step to every improvement, and I would love it if I could get feedback that I can trust. (and this brings us to the truely "oppressed" community of the fanfic world, the people who write very good but cant write interesting teasers//jk)

7. the entirely skippable straw man rant part, also the expression of my love for The Magnus Archives.

some straw man: if you like writing your own characters so much, why not just write your own story entirely? and publish it?

You think I'm not annoyed about that? Here's the thing, I LIKE THIS WORLD I READ FROM THIS BOOK/SOME OTHER FORM OF MEDIA OR WHATEVER, I like it, it's brilliant, I want to write for it, about it, be in it, think about it, read about it, engage in whatever way I can. I CAN'T just "go write my own." And who do you think is more annoyed about not being able to publish the stuff? (According to you) I have written something that is potentially publishable (thank you btw I know you don't exist and is a strawman I invented just now but I've gotta get my compliments where I can//Jk), and I can't publish it in any potentially big way (and rightfully not) because I have no copyright over the characters. I worked hard to design my character, to make the plot meaningful, and to study the original canon plot and characters so that it would all fit together (I mean, partially bcs I can't force myself to sit down and write sth that is any less complex), and I can't actually publish it where more people will read it. And of course, on top of that, even less people will feel like reading once that "original character" tag is up. Does it look like I would be here if I could "just write my own"?

(slight tangent but come on what even is "your own"? how many classic European lit books were just fanfics of each other which were all just fanfics of the Bible or Greek mythology or sth? Stories and symbols have no boundaries it's the economic system that drew those.)

Damn this got way longer than I thought and it's morning now😂 guess I ran out of space to actually promote my fic, might have to do that in a seperate post then. But to anyone who actually read up to here, I'm so sorry for wasting your time no but srsly thanks for reading all of these jumbled thoughts, and good luck with whatever you are working on at the moment, I know you're probably working on something if you're reading through these tags. And of course good luck to the tma folk we're gonna face the end together🙏. good night (I should rly go to sleep now😂)

#the magnus archives #fanfiction #original character #self insert #discourse #literature #tma

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diamondcamefromhell · 5 years ago

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Jaskier x Fem!Reader pt.4

PART ONE

PART TWO

PART THREE

This is second to last part, meaning part 5 will be the last (will post it later today!) as I dont want to drag it out any longer than it needs to be, and I am quite happy with how it’s winding down now. I also just wanted to thank you all for being so lovely and supporting my writing, it means so much to me, and I cant wait to post more!

Requests are open [Not just for Jaskier, I can do any of the Witcher characters, as well as some of other fandoms, feel free to ask me if you want something else; nothing is off limits, apart from smut!]

Warnings: Swearing, arguing.

Word Count: 2,191

The night came, and as Jaskier cuddled his lute, I stared out into the night sky. We were so close to the dragon, tomorrow we will face the beast.

Borch, Vea and Tea cross my mind, as I feel a sting of guilt wrap around me. I didn’t even try to chat with them, and the old man tried to be kind to me. He told me I already have bard’s heart. I guess he was right. I wish I could thank him. I sit next to sleeping Jaskier, running my hand through his hair – he grunts in his sleep. I cant help but smile, settling for a night near him.

I am woken up when Jaskier shakes me. My eyes shoot open and for a second I am blinded by the daylight. He’s stuttering something but I can’t quite understand what, so I just jump on my feet, to see an empty camp. Everyone left. Without us.

Great.

We rush down the mountain, going around seemingly frozen in place dwarves, but by the time we reach the cave, it seems pretty clear the fight is already over. And I see Borch, a long with his warrior companions. What happened here?

“You’re alive.” Jaskier voices my thoughts, gasping at the old man and the girls. He offers us both a kind smile, but not an explanation.

“I am so glad you are okay.” I say, feeling like weight has just been lifted off my chest.

“I am glad you stopped worrying.” Borch winks at me, making me blush. Jaskier doesn’t seem to notice as he’s already pulled out his little note pad, and is grilling Vea and Tea about all the details.

“Thank you for that.” I say, genuinely meaning it.

Borch nods, walking towards Geralt and Yennefer, who are standing near a cliff edge, conversing, from what I can tell. I leave bard alone too, peaking in a cave, to see a beautiful green dragon next to a gold egg. My heart beats faster, as I stare at the beast.

It’s absolutely beautiful.

I am, however, taken back, when I hear Yennefer angry yell, I look back just in time to see her rush off. I never seen Geralt look angrier, as Jaskier tries to tell him something. I am too far away from them to hear, but when Witcher yells, I hear every single word.

“Dammit Jaskier! Why is it that whenever I find myself in a pile of shit it’s always you! Shoveling it.” I begin approaching the Witcher, not sure what my plan is. “The Child Surprise, The Djin, all of it. If life could give me one blessing it would be to take you off my hands.”

I am still too far away to hear what Jaskier says, but I can see his pain from here, as he walks away, shaking ever so slightly. I rush to Witcher now.

“Have you lost your shit, Geralt?” I hiss at him, but he ignores me. “That was uncalled for, you idiot!”

“Oh fuck off.” He glares at me now as I cross my arms.

“No, fuck you, Geralt. Jaskier has been your friend through all the shit you gotten yourself into.” I begin to shake now. “And that’s how you repay him? Hurting his feelings, blaming it all on him. Take a look in the mirror if you are looking for a scapegoat.”

“Listen, Y/N, I am not in a mood for any of your stupid lectures.” He takes a step towards me, and for the first time I am genuinely scared of him. “I don’t need another person shitting on my life. Go to your bard and leave me alone.”

“Right.” I take a step back, trying to hide my hurt. “Well, I wish you well, Witcher.”

My voice breaks at the end, as I twist on my heel, rushing off. I see Borch trying to approach me, but I put my hand up, letting him now that now I am not in a mood for any of it. I look for Jaskier, to see him nearing a cliff edge.

I rush to him.

“Jaskier.” My voice is still shaky, but I try to hide it. For him. “Jaskier, look at me.”

“Y/N.” He glances at me, and I see him rip out a piece of paper from his journal, however before he can throw it, I grab his hands.

“Don’t.” I say softly, managing to control my voice. Jaskier looks at our hands. “Write it. Sing it.”

I see a hint of surprise in his eyes. Maybe he didn’t think I knew what he was trying to do, but I could tell he was hurt. He didn’t want to write this song, as it would forever bring sour memories of Geralt snapping at him.

But I knew this ballad would be one of the best. I knew he needs to cling to it, cling to the slain dragon. I know that in a long run, it will bring him more joy than pain.

He sighs, putting the paper in his journal, safely closing it. His gaze is still on the horizon. I don’t know how to comfort him. I shoot a glance to see that Witcher has already began his leave too – I cant see him.

“Let’s go back. You have a story to tell.” I say, forcing a cheerful voice, but Jaskier isn’t buying it.

“I heard what he said to you.” He says as we begin to walk.

“Yeah, well. It doesn’t matter.” I say, bravely. I steal a glance at the bard, he looks heartbroken. “I heard what he said to you. Part of me wanted to push him off the damn cliff, part of me knows that no matter what he says, you will always care about him. A lot.”

“Someone has to.” Jaskier’s voice is hushed, quiet. I almost don’t catch his words.

“I don’t think he meant what he said about you, Jaskier.” I sigh. “He’s simply scared, looking for someone to blame for his own mess ups.”

“Maybe he’s right.” His tone breaks my heart, and I cant bear to look at him. “Maybe I am just bad luck.”

“The great bard Jaskier could never be bad luck.” I argue, still not being able to look at him. “And bad things tend to happen to good people. It’s just the way life works. It’s a big pile of not fair shit.”

“You really think so?” I now glance at him, smiling. Our eyes meet and he in return, offers a small grin.

“How many times have you seen bad shit happen to bad people?” I ask, but before he can answer, I continue. “Point being, you and Geralt are both good. So of course bad shit happens. And sometimes, it’s just destiny. And we all know that you can’t run from destiny, even if Geralt tries to.”

“But he really wants me out of his life.” I scoff to that.

“We all want you out of our lives from time to time, you’re a bard Jaskier.” He giggles and I feel like I could cry. “Your job is to be annoying. It was just a bad moment of tension, and he voiced that passing thought. He didn’t mean it, I am sure of it. I bet he already misses your singing.”

“Toss a coin to your Witcher,” he begins as I frown, gently nudging him.

“I still hate this song, Jaskier.” He gives me a genuine smile, taking my arm in his.

“Just so you know, Y/N, Geralt didn’t mean what he said to you either.” Jaskier sighs as I hang my head low, barely being able to hold back my emotions. “He loves you as much as Witcher is capable of loving someone. As a little sister, of course.”

“He’ll come around.” I cant hide my voice shaking anymore, and in response, bard squeezes my arm. “We will have to be patient and wait.”

“I guess I will write that song. And sing it.” He offers me a smirk, and I blink my tears away. “And when Geralt hears it, he will rush back to us.”

“Probably to punch you.” I tease, and Jaskier laughs.

“Yes, probably that.” He agrees.

Although our steps feel lighter, the sadness still lingers. We can only make each other feel so much better. I may believe his words, and he may believe mine, but Witchers anrgy voice still echoes in my head. And I bet he is not able to get it out either.

At least we have each other, to cling to, as a beam of hope. Something physical to hold when pain is too much.

I hate to admit it, but I did begin to care about Geralt a lot too. He tried to be and look mean but he always truly cared about us. We were nearing Roach levels of care, and that’s a big accomplishment. I did wonder what happened to make him snap like that.

I remember Yennefer rushing away from him. She also looked hurt. Angry. Mighty Witcher is having a bad day.

“I hope Geralt’s okay.” I voice my concerns, and Jaskier hms in agreement. “There seemed to be a quarrel between him and Yennefer too.”

“There was.” Bard sighs, as we continue up the hill. “He seems to went on a streak, seeing how many people he can hurt in ten minutes.”

“I’m sorry he hurt you.” Jaskier giggles, but it doesn’t feel genuine. I can still hear sadness ring in it.

“We bards thrive on pain. It’s our creative muse.” He winks at me. “Right after you, of course.”

“Finding beauty even in the ugliest things.” Jaskier chuckles.

“Nothing is ugly, if you look at it right.” I agree with that, to an extent. No matter how I looked at Geralt’s words, they were still ugly.

It took us three days to reach Sky. Three days of quietness. I was worried about Jaskier, he hasn’t picked up his lute even since the dragon. I tried to bring any attention to it, clinging to his arm, in case he falls through an invisible trap.

I am not surprised to not see Roach, however still sad. I miss the horse as much as I miss Geralt. I go hug Sky, my black stallion who happily neighs when he sees me.

“I missed you, buddy.” I hiss his cheek. “Did Roach keep you good company?”

“Imagine if one day, he actually responded.” Jaskier jokes, and I giggle. “Y/N?”

“Yes?” I say, pulling away from the horse, but still petting him with one hand.

“What do you want to do now?” My heart sank. Jaskier and I sort of just always followed Geralt. Wherever he went, we tagged along as two annoying companions. And I don’t know the Continent at all, I had no idea where we even were.

“I…” I swallow a lump that’s stuck in my throat. “I don’t know.”

“I have an idea.” He comes closer to me, taking my free hand and squeezing it. I see fire in his eyes, like he’s finally beginning to awaken again. “We could look for home. Try to figure out what it is for us. If it’s a building or…”

“Or what?” I ask when he goes quiet for a few seconds. He picks up his lute, springing it back to life.

“I am looking for a home // where I’ll find it, I don’t know // in the forest, far away, // or in your arms may be my place.// Will I build it with my hands, // will I find it by myself // am I looking for a building, // will it be that simple?//”

I stare at him, prancing around again. The Jaskier I know, the one who sings about everything and anything. I lean on Sky, adoring the man I fell in love with.

“I am ready for adventure, // take my hand, you’re coming too, // north and south we must explore, // drinking, dancing all night long. // Finding castles and the taverns, // different towns and different patterns, // all is simple, all is great, // maybe home is not a place. // We will find it, I promise you, // just grab your horse, we’re riding soon // into the sunset and the sunrise, // we’ll look for home, until we find it.”

Jaskier lands the last note, and I applaud his singing. He beams, walking towards me, landing a sweet sweet kiss on my lips. I am surprised by the sudden approach, but I don’t mind it.

He climbs on Sky, offering me a hand. I untie the horse first, and then jump behind him. I allow Jaskier to hold the reigns this time, not wanting to bring him down from his high, as he ushers the horse. Sky neighs in response, happy to finally be able to move freely.

We ride into the forest, as Jaskier keeps humming the song he just came up with. With my hands around his waist, I can rest easy.

But the Witchers words still find a way to creep in.

PART FIVE [FINALE]

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angelicspaceprince · 5 years ago

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Marked Part 2

Author: Ama

Title: Marked (Pt 2)

Pairing: Beetlejuice/Reader

Character/s: Beetlejuice

Word Count: 4, 003 words

Warnings: Yandere!Beetlejuice, dub/noncon, hypnosis, cum kink/play, forced oral, dirty talk, forced orgasm, Daddy Kink, gaslighting, clones, fleshlights, humiliation and degradation.

Prompt: You have been living with Beetlejuice (with your knowledge) for six months now and to say that it has all been going smoothly? Well. That’d be a flat out lie.

Tagged: @imma-fucking-nerd, @im-eating-rn, @secretlysweetmonsters, @sapphic-florals

Notes: Thanks to friendos for helping me plot because we had. Uh. A good time. Plotting this.

Part 2 of this fic here

Buy Me a Coffee

Marked (Pt 2)

Beetlejuice had considered the two of you ‘official’ for the past six months, at least, that’s when he first had his dick in your mouth. You had taken to your training so well, most likely thanks to Beej manipulating your brain every time there is a new lesson to be learnt. Still, even with you completely obedient to everything, he would do, sometimes obedient bored him. He wanted you to love him for him, not because he told you to.

Still, even if he didn’t want that, he still would remove his hypnosis to see you squirm the way you do, the hate in your eyes making the whole process so much more sweeter for him. Still, he enjoyed making you do things that he knew you normally wouldn’t do. His latest obsession was having you feel like you were burning the moment you were wearing clothes, and to have you be his little 60’s housewife, ready to do whatever he asks in a second. He really enjoyed making you bend over for him, then running his hand over your ass and down to your always dripping pussy and pushing his fingers in, just to hear you moan and buck back towards him, a dopey smile permanently on your face as he brings you close to orgasm and keeping you there, begging to cum but never having permission.

That was the other thing that he started making sure of, no matter what you, him or his clones did, you couldn’t cum without him ordering you to. You’d gone a week so far without an orgasm and he could tell it was eating at you. Good.

He loved having your mouth on his dick, mindlessly sucking with your ass in the air. If you were good, you could take him all the way down. If he claimed you were bad, you could only suck the tip, drinking and tasting every drop of his precum until he came in your mouth. If you didn’t swallow every single drop, then you started again.

Today, he was having fun with that command. Having you kneel on the couch, head in his lap as he flickers through the channels, your warm mouth sucking happily at his tip, his hands running up and down your sides, occasionally reaching down to pinch at your nipples until you groan or moving up to stroke your hair so you purr, your wet and empty cunt dripping onto the couch. He’ll have you clean that up later. His lap was already covered in the cum you failed to swallow down. He could feel himself getting close again, hand weaving in your hair as he starts to make you bob up and down slightly, just enough to get him over the edge. The second he starts to cum, he speaks. “Open.” You whine as his taste hits your tongue and promptly slides off and out your mouth, now hanging wide open as you try (and fail) to swallow what he gives you. He tsks. “That’s the fifth one, sweetheart. You really aren’t good at obeying me, aren’t you?” You whine in protest. “What was that, little one?”

You pull back. “Please Daddy, please let me cum.” You whine out as you cant your hips. “I’ll clean up for you, I’ll do whatever you want me to, just please, please, Daddy. Let me cum.”

Beetlejuice pretends to consider it. “No. Cumwhores like you should be able to cum without being touched. You either cum like this or not at all.” You go to protest, but his commands cause you to shut up and just nod, clearly frustrated at the lack of ability to cum. “Get back to work, I want you to actually swallow for me. Be a good little cumdump for me.”

You nod before wrapping your mouth around his somehow still hard dick, sucking as he continues to watch TV. One more time, then he will have you blow him properly.

By the time he allowed you to actually swallow him down properly, the leather was saturated, there were buckets of cum for you to eat. Hands behind your back as you lick every part of his skin that’s been stained white, swallowing with each mouthful you manage to get. You start shifting and rubbing at your tummy about a quarter of the way there, pulling back when you reach about halfway, begging him for a break. If he was a kind man, he’d let you take breaks or even tell you to stop once you started to complain about your tummy being full. Unfortunately, he was a demon and a not very kind one at that. He watches you struggle to fit the last bit of cum in your mouth, swallowing and showing him your now empty mouth. He smiles, and you get ready to be praised only to hear him tapping at the couch and you see all of the slick you had left behind. Your stomach drops. “Get to work, baby girl.”

By the time you’re done, your belly has swollen and is cramping, causing you to wince into the floor, holding onto your taut belly. Beej barely blinks as he gets up and walks around you. You begging for him to stop? Potentially breaking his hypnosis? He can’t have that. He’s not a complete bastard, he will give you a break first, of course. But, you’ll have to be punished. Eventually.

You didn’t move for over an hour, so when Beetlejuice came looking for you, you were still in the same spot, groaning in pain. He rolls his eyes, it wasn’t that bad. Truly, you should be grateful he allowed you the opportunity to taste him. Still, the groans were annoying, so he walks over to place a cool hand over what looks like the sorest part of your tum. You sigh in relief. “Thank you, Daddy.”

“Of course, princess.” He says as he rubs at your belly softly until your body straightens out and relaxes. “Feeling better?” He barely gets an ‘mmhmm’ out of you as you lay there peacefully as the pain is taken away. Maybe punishment right now isn’t a good idea. Not that it bothers Beetlejuice, just gives him more time to be creative.

You hated being left alone now, a part of your training was to crave his touch, his commands, and to obey them regardless if you were in hypnosis or not. So, after being carried into the bedroom and left there with the order to ‘not leave the bed’, the longer he was gone, the more distressed you became. You got so loud that he stormed back up to tell you to ‘shut the hell up’, which left you silently whimpering for his approval and touch.

It felt like days, but you knew it was only a few hours. The sun was finally beginning to set, your tummy no longer aching from being overstuffed, and even though your muscles ached from the cramping and the tears, and slowly you were beginning to shake with the fear that Beetlejuice was never coming back. That he forgot about you. Maybe you’d been bad and he didn’t want to deal with you anymore.

That’s how Beej found you, curled in a ball, crying softly as you silently mouth his name over and over. Perfect.

“Oh, my little baby girl is crying.” He mocks, causing you to jolt. “Tell me, sweetheart, what’s wrong? Come to Daddy, let him fix it.” You didn’t need to be told twice as you bolted from the bed and straight into him, kneeling at his feet with your arms locked around his waist as you babble into the soft of his stomach.

“I thought you were angry at me and that I was naughty and I’m sorry Daddy, but I promise to be good and I won’t make you upset again, just please, don’t leave me-”

“Oh, but you have made me angry, babes. Very. Very. Angry.” You whimper at the dangerous tone in his voice as you look up at him, eyes wide. “Don’t look at me like that, slut, you know exactly what you did.” Beej has to hide back a smirk as he watches you think over anything you could have don’t a clue as to what you did wrong. Even better. “Why don’t you tell Daddy what you did and maybe he will let you get out of your punishment?”

You think over what had happened over the day, you followed every instruction perfectly! What could Beetlejuice be talking about? Was a guess better than admitting you didn’t know? You whimper as your brain starts to go in circles, what did you do?

The grin on Beej’s face widens. “Oh, my little whore, cat got your tongue? Well, it certainly didn’t when you decided it was okay for you to speak out of turn.” His thumb traces over your trembling lips before pushing in, you automatically beginning to suck at it. “Daddy knows best, Y/N, and he doesn’t like it when his toy backchats to him.” You whine in protest, flinching when he tsks, removing his thumb from your mouth. “Oh, babes. That’s two strikes now.”

You don’t even dare to follow him with your eyes when he steps back and walks over to your cupboard, now filled with his toy collection. “On your back.” You stand to go to the bed. “I’m sorry, did I say you could stand? On the floor, where you belong. And stay silent.” You sink back down and lay on the cold floor, staring up at the ceiling as you wait for him to come back with whatever toys he wanted to use on you this time. “Spread your legs.” You part them slightly and wince when you feel something cold and plastic press up against you. “Close them.” You obey, slightly confused as he comes to stand by your head, but a shadow still appearing from the base of your legs. “Oh, sweetheart, what’s wrong? Your pretty little brain not able to tell what’s going on?” He sniggers when you look up at him and your confusion is evident in your eyes. “Well, here’s the thing, little one. I’m not dirtying myself with that pussy of yours, I deserve better. Hence the clone. But, he shouldn’t have to put up with that filth, so instead, I’ve provided a substitute. Hence the toy between your legs. Much better than your pathetic little cunt.” His smile is malicious, lethal. If you had it in you, you’d be terrified. “Instead, you’re just going to lie here like the perfect little toy holder you are and let my clone fuck it.” If it wasn’t for the command for you to stay quiet, you’d be protesting loudly as the clone climbs on top of you, your eyes never leaving the original Beej as you feel the second line himself up and sink down onto what you could only assume is a fleshlight.

You quickly got used to the feeling of being ground on without being touched, even if you were leaking slick and clenching at each thrust, body confused that sex was clearly happening and yet you remain empty. You felt pathetic, maybe you weren’t good enough for Daddy, maybe this was all you’re good for. Who are you kidding? Daddy is always right.

You don’t hear yourself cry, but you definitely feel and see your tears well in your eyes before trailing down your face, leaving it blotchy and wet. Even through blurry vision, you can see Beetlejuice looking down at you in glee. “My little cocksleeve is crying? Such a shame. Of course, it’s not your fault that you are a cum addict.” He crouches down next to you, so close and yet so very, very far. “Perhaps I should tie you up outside, hm? With a sign to let everyone know you can be used for free.” You can feel yourself shake your head in protest. “No? You wouldn’t like to be fucked all day? Numerous dicks pounding into you as everyone watches? I’m sure that you’d love it, after all, you’re nothing more than a cumdump. Why should I keep you all to myself, hm?” He chuckles, low and dark causing a shiver up your spine. “Oh, babes. I know you better than you think. I know you’re always gagging for another dick in you. What sort of a demon would I be if I didn’t help you out a little with that? Just think how full you’d be, covered in cum, fucked out, blissed out. I think you’d never look back.” His hand makes its way to your hair, grabbing and pulling harshly so your pulled back. “It’s a good thing you're mine, isn’t it? Because if I order you to, you will do it without complaints. Because I told you to. Isn’t that right?”

You have to nod because you know it's true. You’d do anything for him if it made him happy. He pats your cheek condescendingly. “There’s my good little whore, I knew she was hiding somewhere in there.” You feel awful but still beam under his praise as the clone’s hips shudder to a stop, a moan slightly higher than Beej’s usual sound can be heard before a ‘pop’ as the clone disappears, leaving you holding the cum-filled toy with your thighs. You whimper when Beej’s hand leaves your head and moves to rip the toy from you, throwing it carelessly behind him. You can clean up the mess later. But for now, he has other plans in mind.

His hands grab at your knees and pries them apart as he moves to slot himself between your legs, feeling your slick already down past your thighs. “Oh, little one. I knew you’d enjoy that more than you let on.” He starts to grind his hips against your core, letting you feel just how hard he had become watching you panic as the clone used you. “You took your punishment so well, I think perhaps you should get a reward.” A simple click of his fingers and now he’s just as naked as you, already lining his cock up to your sopping entrance. “Remember, babes, I want you to be loud.” He reminds as he pushes in, bottoming out in one solid thrust.

You moan loudly, head pushing back against the floor as you feel him stretch you in the most magnificent way, hands clawing at the floor, still unable to move from that position. “Fuck, you’re so tight, just like all cocksleeves should be.” You mewl at the praise, clenching down automatically causing him to groan out once more. It’s not long until he’s got your legs over his shoulders and he’s driving into you at the ferocious, unyielding pace that he favours, his praises over how good you take him and how he knew from the second he saw you, this is what you were made for takes over every inch of space in your brain, your body responding keenly to his rough treatment as he digs his nails and teeth into your flesh, drawing blood, leaving hand-shaped bruises and claw marks over your body, marking you as his.

You felt your eyes roll back ages ago, and your mouth was left wide open (much to Beej’s glee) as loud grunts, moans and noises that would make a pornstar blush left your throat. You could feel your cheeks and chin slowly become wet with your drool, your blissed-out face not wanting to do anything more than just let Beetlejuice use you the way he wants.

You couldn’t see the demon’s face, however. How his grin widens the louder you become. Still, you were docile. And it was getting kinda dull for him. He snaps his hips forward before grinding in to make sure he is as deep in you as possible before he speaks. “Y/N.” Your eyes snap to look at him to show him you’re listening. “Wake up.”

It was like your body had been removed from a frozen lake. Ice cold shock overtakes your system as your brain clears for the first time in what feels like centuries. No matter how many times he did this, he still loved how your grip on his dick tightens as you try to claw your way out. “Y/N, stop it.” He growls out when you try slapping him. “Shoulders and hands on the ground.” Your body obeys even though you are desperately telling it not to.

“Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beelt-” You gag on the final word and above you, Beej is livid, his hips moving at a harsher pace causing you to cry out as he slams against your cervix, causing your tummy to flip in protest as it bruises. You had discovered that calling his name three times would send him back, but before you even got a chance he conditioned you to never be able to say his name three times in a row. He was safe, but that didn’t make him less pissed.

“Oh, Y/N. Why do you always have to go ruining our fun?” He pinches at your hips harshly, causing you to yelp. Without his hypnosis, everything seemed to hurt tenfold. “Why can’t you just be a good little cumslut, hmm? You were moaning like a bitch in heat before, why don’t you go back to that?” You stiffen, waiting for the fog to return. When it becomes apparent it wasn’t an order, you try to relax so him bruising ever part of your pussy wouldn’t hurt as much, but instead, you stay stiff.

“You woke me up.” You snark. “Shoulda known it would have ended like this.” He sighs.

“Why don’t you just be Daddy’s good little girl and cum on his dick for him, hmm?” He asks. He really does want you to love him, and the idea of you willingly clenching his dick as you ride out your orgasm? Was intoxicating.

For him. Not for you.

You narrow your eyes and glare up at him. “No.” You barely had time to tell him you’d never cum on his disgusting cock when you see his eyes narrow, flashing red as his hair fades to match the same colour.

“Cum.” Was all that left his mouth.

“N-oooh.” Your body contorts as the heat that was simmering down the moment you woke up suddenly reignites and takes over your body, every cell feeling like it is on fire as your body pours slick all over Beej’s cock, still pounding inside of you. You can barely hold back your sigh of relief when your body starts to tremble with the final aftershocks. Maybe that’s all he wanted. Maybe you can relax now and just wait this ou-

“Cum.” Came his growl above you and you whine as your body repeats the process. It’s hot, too hot. “Cum.” It’s like electricity running through every cell of your body. “Cum.” And it hurts. “Cum.” So. “Cum.” Badly. “Cum.”

You’re screaming by this stage, voice broken and hoarse. Why did it always end like this, why did you always have to egg him on when you know it’ll end with him using his mind control bullshit to his advantage? That’s right. Because you’re an idiot.

You are sure you’re babbling nonsense at this point, trying to get back at him but mind refusing to come up with words as he chuckles darkly. “Don’t worry, little one. Even when you’re not under my influence, I’ll still do the thinking for you.”

You whine in protest as you feel the little grey cells of your brain begin to kick back up, just as you feel his hips begin to fall out of his rhythm, him groaning as he drops your legs to be either side of him. “Where do you want me to cum, Y/N?” He asks, Surely this is a trap. “C’mon babes, I haven’t got long.”

You really don’t want him cumming inside of you, but you’re afraid if you beg for him to pull out he will just empty inside of you out of spite. You had to play the game. “In me.” Your voice is confident that you’re going to win this particular round.

“I knew it, perfect little cumdump even when you’re in your own mind.” He growls before you feel him push into you once. Twice. Your stomach hits the ground when you realise. You’ve made a terrible mistake.

Once more, he grinds against you as you watch his head fall back, a content smile forming on his lips as he spills inside of you.

It’s cold. So, so cold. And it seemed to be never-ending.

You are fuming as you feel him continue to pump his cum inside of you, belly already beginning to swell. It didn’t work. “Why? All I want to know is why you think that I’d want this? Why you think that I deserve this….. this ...” You trail off, not even sure what the word for this was.

“Because I love you, and I know I’m the only one who could ever love you in the way you deserve.” He states as he finishes, pulling out and moving to stand. “Up, on your knees.” You feel yourself growl as your body complies even if your mind is screaming for it to stop as you settle in front of him, the mix of your and his cum starting to pool on the floor as your stomach begins to deflate.

“Love? You call this love? You don’t love me, you want to control me! You don’t even know what love is, and I sure as hell don’t love you!” You snap back, still unable to move from your position at his feet.

“Say that one more time and I’ll make sure you can never walk again.” He threatens lowly.

“You hurt me. On a daily basis. How can you say to me that I love you, that I consensually get off on what you do to m-” You go quiet at the sensation of him holding onto your chin firmly, hair and eyes a vivid red.

“You enjoy what I do to you.” He states. Of course, you do, why would you think otherwise. “Even when you’re not under my control, every touch, every word, every sensation, you enjoy it. It turns you on, it’s like electricity under your skin. No matter the time, or the place, you enjoy what I do to you.”

You feel the fog disappear and you glare up at him. “Let me go now or I’ll- hnnn.” Every thought process stops when he moves to touch your face, it felt like shocks were making your way down to your clit, your pussy clenching in delight. “What did you do to me, you sick bast- AH!” His hand goes to grab at your hair, pulling you up slightly, the shocks intensifying as you rock your hips to try and get some friction on your clit.

“Don’t make me hurt you.” Beej sighs when he sees you whimper when he removes his hand from your hair, remaining silent in an attempt to pacify him as you try to think of a way out. “I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say and I will be your slave.”

“I don’t think I agree with that trade-off.” You lock eyes with him. “Just, please? Let me go?” You can feel your head getting heavy, brain slowing the longer you stare at him, but you can’t seem to look away from Beetlejuice’s face. “Please, I won’t tell anyone, just let me go.”

“Please what?” His mocking voice asks you as you feel your head grow heavier and heavier. Still, your eyes stay connected to his.

Your brain wracks for a second before the dopey smile returns to your face, mind returning to that comforting fog. “Please, Daddy? Please tell me how I can make you happy?”

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parvasilvi · 5 years ago

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Endeavour Fandom Meme tagged by @wherehefoundtheporcupine, thanks!

Top 5 Episodes

Ride is my absolute #1 favourite. I’ve watched it so many times. The plot is so ridiculous. Great Gatsby&the Prestige crossover? I love it. Morse taking the time to heal after trauma? I needed so much more of that. THE HAIR? Forever in love. Home is also a favourite. Endeavour’s so YOUNG there. We get to see some of his family. We get some Thursday backstory. They take down the (former) mob-boss together. Morse looks so terribly fragile at the end. I just love it. Trove, immediately following Home, also great. Morse slowly piecing himself back together after being shot in the pevious season’s finale. Protective Dad!Thursday. The way Morse snarks at the snooty professor. The kindness he shows Frida Yelen’s dad. The tender moment with Monica. There’s a lot to love in this episode. Neverland almost didn’t make it in the top 5, because the puppet CREEPS me out, but I had to have it here, if only for Morse standing with Thursday, doing what’s right, despite the (DIRE) consequences. AND the POEM! I could listen to that on repeat except I cant handle the emotions. And lastly Deguello, andother episode where Morse takes on the corrupt upper layers, only this time with the Cowley team standing by him. Also by this episode I had gotten used to the Morsestache and could almost live with it.

Runner-up for Quartet for fantastic spy shenanigans, and also just mentioning Coda as a runner-up because I enjoy the angst of the bankrobbery but am not really here for manipulation-via-women that’s the plot of this episode.

Seasons in Order of Preference (or tops)

Gods must you do this to me? There’s highs and lows in all things. S3, S1, S2, S5, S4, S6. I haven’t brought myself to watch S7 yet, I worry it’ll make me dislike the show. It all seems so DIRE. I prefer the earlier seasons where there wasn’t AS much strife between Thursday and Morse, though the differences were always there I suppose. S3 is a definite fave, I love all 4 films that year. S4, the season where Joan left without saying anything, is only so low because it hurts my heart soo much. I cannot bear Win’s suffering. She breaks my heart in season 4, what a phenomenal performance with the little screentime she has. I love Win so much.

Favourite Scene(s)

Season 3, episode 1; Morse is back in Oxford, where he belongs, and he’s sitting on a bench next to Thursday. They discuss the case, Morse predicts the sandwich. And then, finally FINALLY. Morse talks about what prison was like. He tries to keep it light, but it’s... it’s still so fresh. But Thursday listens, and reassures him when he starts to doubt himself. And these actors, their faces, it’s just. I love it.

Honorary mentions for the bed-shopping scene with Monica which is adorable and I love their love, the scene where Morse and Claudine discuss rain and sex because I like when Morse is happy, the exact way in which Thursday says "He's an idealist" in S6 finale Deguello as he's explaining why he can't get Morse to back off, and the scene after Fancy’s death, between Morse and Frazil because the way Morse says “he was 23″ and the look on Frazil’s face always brings tears to my eyes.

Favourite Musical Piece or Moment

I don’t really know? Despite the imporance of music in the show, I don’t really pay too much attention. I wish we had more of Morse’s singing. If I had to pick something I’d pick have Ein Deutches Requiem from Trove, but that’s mostly because I recognised it from when I sang it with my choir, and then I listened to (and hummed) the whole Requiem for about a month because of nostalgia and for the max Endeavour vibes it was giving me.

Also, I agree with wherehfoundtheporcupine; the theme tune. It’s so... wistful? I think? Just the association with the show I love, but also the soft beginning, swelling to that dramatic rolling melody and then the tender ending. Yeah.

Favourite Cinematography/Imagery (season, ep, whatever)

Probably this shot from Ride:

(gif by @guardiansinferno)

I’m also a big fan of the way Morse never looks at bodies for long, and he’s always angled away from them in groupshots. He can’t escape it, but he’ll never be comfortable around death, and turn away as soon as he can.

Favourite Ensemble Character that isn’t Morse

Win. I just love her. I love how Caroline O’Neill plays her. I love how gentle and kind and supportive and welcoming and caring she is. But I also love how she stands up for herself, how strong she must be, as we see in glimpses of her life as a policeman’s wife. She’s amazing.

Runner up for Bright, who I’ll be honest I didn’t like at first, but now even on rewatches is always a joy to behold. Look at that man. He got where he is by doing things by the book, but he’s slowly learning that sometimes justice trumps order, and that it’s the people that are important, not the laws.

Favourite One-episode Character

Probably Bettina Pettybon, bless her poor heart. She has such a huge arc in the one episode she’s in. I hope she’s out there living her best life.

Favourite Morse Look (season, ep, whatever)

Smiling (gif by @snappyjenkins) The scarf (despite the negative connotations) also looks really good on him.

Runner up for this look (gif by @mykingackles):

Biggest Disappointment

The unresolved plot with Joan Thursday. Actually, the confusing character development of Joan Thursday. I wish we knew more about her mindset after Coda, and after coming back. I wish they hadn’t done the will-they-won’t-they-no-of-course-they-won’t-cause-canon thing for so long. Now they both just seem wishy-washy.

Provide some Spicy Takes (on canon, fandom, anything)

I keep forgetting that Morse has a sister, and I think the show should cater to me in that regard and actually mention her every once in a while. Let him talk about calling his sister, or end an episode with him dialing her number or something if you can’t afford to get the actress back. Actually, extrapolating from that I’m done with Endeavour - Lone Wolf. Let him make (and keep!) some friends, even outside the precinct. He’s a prickly bugger at the best of times, but even prickly buggers find soft pincushions to stick to. I don’t know where this metaphor is going, let’s get back on track - Morse is kind in his own way. He cares, almost too much sometimes. Give us someone who cares back. I miss the Monica seasons.

Free Space! (Make up something - anything - you want to share or say)

I haven’t given enough love to Dorothea Frazil in all the previous questions. She’s such a great character, we really should’ve gotten more from her. I love the dynamic she has with the main duo, the way she and Morse seem to always be on the same wavelength, and how antagonistic Thursday is towards her. I wonder if it’s because he’s so old-fashioned and she’s not having that patriarchal bullshit, or if it’s just because she’s a journalist. I should go back and add Game to my favourite episodes, just because of her scenes in that, and the way Morse doesn’t even have to say what happened to her protogé. Also the way Trewlove puts that asshat who underestimates her chess knowledge in his place. God this show has so many amazing moments.

I have the feeling this game is spreading like wildfire through the fandom, I’ve seen it on my dash a lot, but I’m going to tag @endeavourous and @snappyjenkins cause I don’t think I’ve seen theirs yet?

#itv endeavour #that took a long time to put together #such difficult questions!#but fun #fun to think about it so thoroughly #fun to review all the episodes again #endeavour

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reeree1500 · 5 years ago

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The Return- Part Three

Okay y'all so here it is!! Part 3 of the Return series!!! Ivar and reader relationship developmentttttt💕 Hope you guys like itttt :) Lemme know if you guys wanna be tagged too. And don't kill meeeee pleaseee 😂

Part 1 Part 2 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 part 8 part 9 Part 10

Taglist: @yanii-the-hippie @oceans-daughter-3 @peaceisadirtyword @laketaj24 @amy8220 @cutegyrl927 @camatsuru @cindy-exo @cainismyname @affection-rabbit

Disclaimer: My sucky writing again. Bad grammar and spelling😂 Character death. And bad plot in general.

Your POV

Excitement. Thats all I could say I was feeling at the moment. To finally be back in Kattegat with my family was something I never thought would have happened again. After my father’s grand announcement of my return, the room overflowed with happiness. People were coming up to me, asking me where I had been for the past 6 years and how I had survived. Obviously, I tried to answer everyone’s questions to the best of my ability without giving too much information. For I still didn't know, the true reason as to why I had to leave or who wanted me gone.

The happiness in the hall however did not last very long. Aslaug, the woman who was questioning Bjorn earlier that night. Was actually my father’s wife. “Im sorry? She's your what now?!?!” Aslaug screams of sorrow over my existence could probably be heard all the way in Frankia. My father however, seemed to have very little interest in her reactions at all. He had cast her to the side as if she meant nothing to him. During the course of the next few hours neither my father nor Bjorn left my side. It was as if they thought something would occur to me if I was out of their side for more than a second. “Father, if it is alright with you I would like to go outside for some fresh air.” I tell him, whilst grasping his hand to truly catch his attention. Cupping my face he says “My sweet little girl, you may do anything you please. However, I would prefer that you do not stray too far from here, as I have just gotten you back. And I would not be able to handle losing you again.” With that he gives me a kiss on my forehead and sends me on my way.

However, I can still feel the overbearing presence of my older brother. “Bjorn, you know Im not gonna run away, if thats what you're afraid of.” I tell him whilst stepping outside. “Im not afraid of you running away. Im afraid of something happening to you (y/n). Plus worrying about you is my job, always has been.” Leaning on one of the wooden beams, I cant help but to stare up at the sky and hold my cross between my fingers. Thinking to myself how different life would have been if I had not left. “ Im only a few steps away shout if anything happens. Okay?” “Okay! And Bjorn... I love you.” At that Bjorn kisses my forehead and walks back inside.

Unbeknownst to me, a certain dark haired man was lurking in the shadows. “Awwww, If I had a heart I would think that was probably the sweetest reunion Ive ever seen.” Turning to the sound of that familiar voice, I see Ivar leaning on his crutch making his way towards me. “I never thought that I would have a sister. And a Christian one at that.” The way that his eyes scan over my body makes me feel a certain way that I cannot quite describe. And the way that his features are outlined by the moonlight really gives a sense of how handsome he is. “Wait, are you implying that...”

“Well, if all Christians are as slow as you I don't think we’ll have a problem conquering them.” A smirk is displayed on his face, while his eyes show a hint of deviance in them. “Why do you think that Bjorn and Ubbe look so much alike (y/n)?” “Or the fact that we all share similar traits like our eyes?” As Ivar continues to talk down to me as if I were a child, I start to connect the dots. Why it was that Bjorn and Ubbe look alike. The way that they all seem to share the same traits as my father. The four young men that Bjorn introduced me too, are actually my brothers.

With wide eyes I come to the realization that...“You’re my brother.” “Took you long enough.” At that Ivar seems to crack what looks like a genuine smile. “You know, I always thought that I was the youngest, but now that I'm not...” The genuine smile I had probably imagined was now a devious one. “ Now, baby sister. Why don't you and I go and sit down by those steps down there. And you can tell big brother Ivar, what you've been up to all this time?” Without being able to answer, Ivar grabs my hands and takes me towards the steps. Why do I feel like this night is just getting started...

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Ivar POV

Needless to say all of us were in shock to learn that (y/n) was our sister. Especially Hvitserk, who had not only been enchanted by her beauty, but was already planning how he would take her from Bjorn. I however, knew something was up the minute I saw her in the great hall. She had no scars whatsoever on her body, meaning she wasn't a shield-maiden. And absolutely no callouses on her fingers from when she took the ale, meaning she definitely wasn't a thrall. And Bjorn wouldn't cheat on Torvi, unless he wants his balls cut off. Something intrigued me about her instantly. It was if she had been sent to me by the Gods, her sharp tongue reminded me of mine. The way that she stood up for my mother not even knowing that she had caused Lagertha and Ragnar to break up amazed me. The way she handled herself with grace and dignity was exactly what I wanted. No, what I need for in a wife.

“Ivar, are you okay? You've been staring at me for the past 5 mins without saying a word.” (y/n) places her hand on my knee to draw my attention whilst looking straight into my eyes. “As a matter of fact, Im trying to piece together, how we’re the same age, and we never met before you left.” As she goes to lift her hand from my knee, something instinctively goes over me and I grab her and hold it were it was. The initial shock she and I both had at my actions soon subsided. She let her hand rest under mine. As if we had done this countless times before, our fingers intertwined and they in my eyes fit perfectly. I could see the inner turmoil inside her, on whether these small affectionate moments between us were something that was so wrong, but that felt so right.

It was not just moments ago that I had found out she was indeed my sister. Blood of my blood. But somehow, something in me told me that we were meant to be. I felt safe and strangely loved by this person in front of me, whom I have never met before. “You know Ivar, we lived on a farm. I was 100% certain that I would be a farm girl for the rest of my life. I was content with knowing that I would spend my life tending to the animals and my family. But, this is just too much.” Looking down at where our once intertwined hands were. I see that she is now staring at the ground playing with the ends of her long braided hair. “Why? Because you feel as if you're not good enough? Look at me for Odin’s sake! Im a cripple!” At that moment our eyes connected and I saw a reflection of myself in her. A scared child who was deprived of a normal childhood. Seeking for acceptance and love from anyone.

“(Y/n), come inside father wishes to speak to you.” Bjorn says coming out from the great hall ale in hand. Clearly drunk as well. “Sure thing, I’ll be there in a second.” As she goes to stand up (y/n) turns to me and kisses me on the cheek. “Thank you for the pep talk, big brother.”

I knew that I could not be the only one feeling this way. She had to have been feeling the same about me. And I will go to the ends of the world and face the God’s themselves if they think that for a second I will not make her mine.

Your POV

What had I just done! I kissed him whether it be on the cheek or not. I kissed Ivar. My brother. Oh lord, forgive me for these sinful thoughts are consuming me. The intense feeling I got from us holding hands and from when he stared into my eyes. I had felt at home. Felt safe, felt something that I should only be feeling for the man I should marry. Not my brother! As I enter the great hall, all eyes turn on me. Remembering what I had just talked to Ivar about, I keep my head up. I shouldn't be ashamed, or feel as if I'm less than I am.

As I make my way to my father through the crowd once he spots me his eyes light up immediately. Sitting on his thrown he extends his hand and makes me sit on the throne beside his. “My beautiful daughter are you feeling alright now?” He says to me a little louder as if to make sure that people know not to mess with me. “Y..yes father Im feeling much better.” I murmur to him. At that moment my eyes trail off as if to find something that would take me out of this position right now. I have never been one to be the centre of attention. And as much as I wanna believe in myself that I can be a good princess to my people, at the moment that is not going to happen. As I scan the room my eyes land on Hvitserk. He’s eating a piece of chicken las if it were his last meal ever. I cannot help, but to laugh at him and that when he notices. He flashes a smile that could certainly melt any lady’s heart. Without realizing I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear and bit my lip. Biting my lip when Im nervous is something Ive always done.

However, what did not realize was Ivar eyeing me from behind him. At that I stop and stare at the ground. As the hours go by, finally the last person leaves the great hall. Leaving only my father and brothers with me. “Sooooo, where is (y/n) supposed to sleep, father?” Asks Ubbe. Coming from behind me Hvitserk puts his arm around my shoulders bringing me closer to his body. “She can sleep with me! I don't mind sharing my bed with her.” At this Ivar scoffs. “Of course you wouldn't, you wouldn’t mind sharing your bed with anything that has a pulse.” I tilt my head trying to figure out whatever he means by that. And all that can be heard is the snickering of my father.

“I was thinking that perhaps I could sleep with Bjorn. You know since we used to share a room when we were little...” I say wishing that what I feel most comfortable with could be taken into account. “I don't know about that one baby sis, you'd have to ask Torvi. She defiantly doesn't like sharing thats for sure.” as Ivar says this he smirks at me while taking bite out of his apple. “Who’s Torvi?” “Wait! Bjorn didn't tell you? He's married.”

At that moment a scream was heard throughout the town.

“Oh My God, Mira!!!!” at that moment I shot out of Hvitserk’s arms and ran as fast as I could. How could I have been so stupid that I left my friend by herself in an unknown place. Seeing the people gathered around Bjorn's cabin only made my heart more nervous. Pushing my way past the crowd I make it up the steps in one piece. But what I saw would forever haunt me. There on the floor lied my once best friend and most trusted subject Mira. And on her back was carved the death rune. All I remember is hitting the floor and watching a pair of worried and frantic electric blue eyes.

#vikings #vikings fandom #vikings fanfiction #vikings history channel #vikings ivar #ivar lothbrok #ivar's heathen army #ivar x reader #ivar #bjorn lothbrok #bjorn ironside #bjorn x reader #hvitserk #hvitserk x reader #ragnarsdottir #ragnar lothbrok #ragnar x lagertha #ask to tag

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pictured-as-perfect · 5 years ago

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First part of Drownie x Reader fic hahhhahhaha

It’s a pleasant 11 AM, so pleasant that you had decided to come outside of your home for the first time in 3 days, despite being sick with a heavy cold. It’s been clogging your sinuses, and causing you to cough for numerous days straight. It’s annoying, but you assure yourself that it is merely just a cold, and cannot last forever.

In slippers, and a cozy sweater, you walk down the road and into the local coffee shop that sat a few houses away from yours. You lived in a nice neighborhood, with recently cemented sidewalks, and kind neighbors. A few people you know wave to you when they see you walk by, and you mellowly wave back.

Entering the coffee shop, you’re greeted by the wonderful smell of freshly made sweetened coffee cups, one that you’re not familiar with, since you’ve never actually been to this coffee shop before. It was opened up recently by a friend you knew from high school, a few years back. You’ve always wanted to see the place, and you’re glad you finally got the chance to.

But, you get distracted for a moment, and you bump into someone. He’s 5’7”, and he’s accidentally spilled his hot coffee on you. You yelp, as it hurts immensely. Though the male with the now empty coffee cup tries to keep his cool, you can spot the panic in his eyes. He rushes you to the boys bathroom, not caring to find out your gender, as he wets paper towels and tries to wipe coffee from your sweater. Something about the way he acts feels peculiar, but you just try to dismiss your suspicion, since its not like you’ve ever met this guy before. After he sees wiping coffee away wont do anything, he removes your sweater, and leaves you in only your oversized t-shirt. He thinks of rinsing the coffee out in the bathroom’s sink, but just decides to fold the sweater up, so it can be cleaned at home. You take a big sniff, more just to keep the snot in your nose from dripping all over the place. He gives you a paper towel, and you blow your nose with it. He says his name is Drownie, and you say yours is (your name).

D: Are you okay? I mean, that’s what you should be asking me since y-you, you bumped into me! But th-then again, you’re the one with… coffee on you… and I guess I should’ve been paying attention…

You stay quiet, since it seems like it’d be better to just let Drownie process what he’s doing. After a minute, he gets his thoughts straight, adjusting his big coat, and his headphones. They had shifted uncomfortably during his unexpected panic. He refuses to make full eye contact, by turning his head away from you, as to not see you directly. You still establish eye contact, despite this.

D: Y’know what, I’ll just.. get myself a new coffee, and cover whatever you wanted to get, I guess. That’s cool with you, right?

You nod yes, telling Drownie that you don’t actually know what this place sells, since its your first time there. That panic can be spotted in his eyes again, but only for a brief moment, as if he feels bad for ruining your first impression of the little shop.

D: I guess I’ll surprise ya, then… get ya one of my favorite coffee and muffin combos. The snacks here are baked fresh, daily. OOH! I could get ya to try- NOT spoiling the surprise!

He gets a little jumpy at his feet, trying to hide his excitement. You cant help but smile a little, glad to see that Drownie is no longer dwelling on the spill, glad that he’s cheered up. He walks you out from the bathroom, holding your sweater. You’re guided to the register, where a thin 5’3” man with purple hair stands at the ready, wearing a light brown apron over his light blue sweater. His name tag has parts of his name scribbled out, leaving only “Ori” visible. He moves his hair and headband, making sure that he can entirely see you and Drownie, knowing that establishing eye contact, and being friendly, will earn him tips. It’s at this point that Ori recognizes you. His half brother, Hiro, used to have a crush on your character, and Ori continues to remember those short lived feelings, but more just because he likes to poke fun at Hiro.

O: Oh! It’s you, (your name)! I see you found yourself a new hubby, huh? Hiro would be jealous..~

Drownie punches you in the arm. Lightly, but it still hurts. He didn’t seem to hurt you, but more just prove that you aren’t someone he was interested in.

D: Spilled my coffee on ‘em, and wanna make up for it, that’s all. Don’t play with me, Ori.

O: The gorilla can read! Marvelous! Either way, what can I get you two lovebirds?

Drownie holds down his right arm, with his left, trying to restrain himself from punching Ori, since he had to pay a huge fine the last time he did that.

D: The same coffee I got before, an iced coffee with two Splenda packets, and a slice of that strawberry shortcake that Teary likes.

O: With the teeny little berry on top? Got it! INES! THE COMBO TEARDROP LIKES, AND A DARK COFFEE!

A tall, bird-like person walks to Ori, and slaps him with her wing. She’s a mighty 7 feet tall, and quite beautiful. She has beautiful white feathers with cream accents. She wears a fluffy boa, and an apron like Ori’s. She calmly tells him to call orders by their actual name, and goes back to where she came. You and Drownie laugh as Ori rubs his now pink cheek. Ines returns, only to place a tray with Drownie’s order on top, onto the counter in front of them. The two drinks, and the slice of cake. Drownie takes the tray and sits down at one of the tables. A heart shaped girl, and a sword less Dark Matter swordswoman take their place at the counter, but neither you nor Drownie pay much attention to them.

You sit first. Drownie drapes his fluffy coat over you, and you can’t help but blush, finding Drownie in just a tank top to be… kinda hot. He takes a seat across from you, slowly sipping his coffee as the two who took their spot at the counter, have a fit together. It seems to be over the shop’s lack of chicken nuggets. You also enjoy what was purchased for you, finding the cake to be quite delicious. You soon form the opinion that, whoever Teardrop is, has good taste. It’s only now that you tell Drownie of your sickness, and that seems to greatly concern him.

D: Wait, you’ve got something?? Oh man… I’ve gotta… take care of you or somethin’… oh shit… Do you wanna, like, come to my place…?

You tell him that you could do that, but also that your house is nearby, and you’d have to go back to there eventually because you left your front door unlocked.

D: I’ll just bring ya back to your house instead… and you can have my number… and you can call me once you’re feeling better…

He takes a scrap piece of paper from the pocket of his hoodie, as well as an obviously used pen. The cheap, plastic kind. The end has teeth marks on it. He scribbles down a set of numbers, his phone number, onto the paper. You can’t help but wonder about why he’d give you his number. You didn’t ask for it, and he didn’t actually need to do anything more than walk you home. He slides the paper to you, and you take it, saving it for later. Since you’ve finished with your food, Drownie helps you up from your chair, taking a moment to make sure his coat is comfy on you. And look at that, it really is, since its fluffy inside with plenty of insulation.

You’re guided outside by Drownie’s tough but caring arms, and walk down the street. Both of you stop for a moment to watch as the two troublemakers are thrown out of the shop by Ines, both girls feeling bad, and parting their separate ways. But as you were lost in focus, Drownie slaps you, telling you that you need to tell him which house is yours. You point to the little gray house that sits a few yards away. But, it takes you a moment to even notice that Drownie has lifted you up with ease, running with you over to your house. It’s only a short time that you’re held, but it still feels so safe in his grasp. You don’t say anything about it, though, and just let Drownie run into your house, and plop you down on your bed (after spending a minute trying to find it). You ask what the whole carrying thing was about, and reassure him that it wasn’t a bad thing.

D: …I got a little spurt of energy that I had to get out. Plus, you seemed sluggish. I may be an asshole but I wasn’t gonna let some sick person struggle.

He seemed to have been looking for excuses, since he’s definitely hiding something. You hide the fact that you noticed, thanking him for his kindness. He quickly dismisses your thanks, not having wanted to come off as “nice”. He leaves your room, and you can hear him run through your slightly cluttered house, before the sound of your front door shutting is heard.

You just, lay in your bed with a face covered in lush, for the rest of the night.

You already know you’re gonna call him, as soon as your illness is gone.

It’s annoying, but you assure yourself that it is merely a cold, and cannot last forever.

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franeridart · 6 years ago

Note

what program/brushes do you use for your art? it's so damn pretty

Easy Paint tool SAI and the default pen/brush/marker tools, mostly! and thank you!!! ;^;

Anon said:When I was a kid I would've had a crush on Akane

HECK that’s such a compliment!! Thank you!!!

Anon said:Couldn't Akane technically Control/move Kiri's hair since it's dyed? I mean it's like his hair is stained meaning it's not alive! so Akane finally warms up to him and messes with him or plays with his hair?

She can and she did! I drew her doing just that both in the first and in the fourth thing I posted about her! :D

Anon said:okay i don't know if this is coming through but i have just looked through your entire blog(can only go 4 years back) and let me just say you are wonderful, I absoluty LOVE how you paint/draw like its sooo pretty??? like dnjwcfehbi i cant describe it, (part 1) || like you are wonderful, I absolutely LOVE how you paint/draw like it's so pretty??? like dnjwcfehbi I can't describe it like it's absolutely Fabulous, Stunning, Amazing, Lovely and it looks so smoooooth like what????how??But anyways love your art and love you keep being Amazing! (part 2)

AH GOD THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!! This is such a sweet ask to get TT^TT (and you can only go 4 years back because the blog is 4 years old! Can’t believe you actually went through it all!!)

Anon said:I really love your art style and your comics are so cute and I love how you draw older Bakugou and Kirishima!! It’s all so wonderful! Thank you for sharing it with everyone!

Oh man thank you!! ;;; I’m so happy yo know you like them!!!!!! TTOTT

Anon said:the level of FLUFF and KOOKIENESS and SOFT and MARSHMALLOW and MY HEART CAN'T TOOK THIS IS is so much I could die.

PLEASE DON’T DIE I LOVE YOU !!!!!

Anon said:I love everything about Akane's au. Her, her interactions with Bakugou, how she dislikes Kirishima but is beginning to warm up to him, the boys' aged-up designs. Everything. It's all amazing. Thank you for bringing it into my life!

Nggghhhhhhhh no anon thank you for liking her!!!!

Anon said:Currently procrastinating on my essay to go through your blog because it de-stresses me and I love your art so much like seriously h e l p

GAH THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! /////

Anon said:There's something I'm not understand in your AU children kiribaku. She adopted by bakugo or she is a kid bakugou have with someone. ( I'm really really sorry for my English )

Adopted!

Anon said:Your comics are so cute and funny! I'm loving the story with Akane, the last update was great! I really like the way you draw the characters, like your style is so nice. Thanks for making my day better with your art!

G o d thank you So Much!!!!!!

Anon said:Akane is adorable, and I absolutely love the comics that you upload of her, but also on top of that your mohawk Bakugo has cleared my skin, watered my crops, and brought me back from the dead at LEAST twice.

I’M REAL GLAD TO HEAR THAT because mohawk Bakugou owns my whole soul and it’s nice to know I’m not alone in that hahaha

Anon said:What are some ways Akane messes with Kiri (or used to) when he wears red clothes? Does she often do that? Does she do it when Baku's not home, or when he is so that she can hammer in just how much she dislikes Kiri? Has she ever done anything major that caused her to be really reprimanded by Baku, but being the best person in the world Kiri did not get angry?

She really only ever gets pissy (or used to! they’re starting to get along better !!!) at Kiri when she feels jealous for whatever reason, and that doesn’t happen as often as it seems through my doodles, so it’s not like she’s always antagonistic towards him! Mostly she just ignores him, so no, it doesn’t happen often at all! And she’s never gone further than messing his hair up or tugging a bit at his clothes, since she doesn’t have the strength to move Kiri all that much haha the only reason she managed to have him fall the first time was because he was balancing already, but generally Kiri weighs way too much for her to move him around or pull at the red stuff he’s wearing enough for him to notice it all that much

anyway, Baku never reprimended her for it - not more than he did in the first comic I posted with them, at least, specifically because the damage she can make is so minor that Kiri and Baku barely consider it something to tell her off for... if she were ever to act that way towards someone she might actually hurt (say, a kid her own age) then Baku might reprimend her more seriously, but as long as she’s just tugging at Kiri’s clothes they don’t see it as anything worth fighting her over :D

Anon said:Just sent an ask, so forgive me for this one, but I'd love to get this straight: in the Akane AU Kiri and Baku graduated and share an apartment, are madly into each other, but they neither has made a move on the other yet? Perhaps that should be sad, but it's 100% adorable.

I know I shouldn’t say this as I made the au myself, but I find the arrangement pretty dang adorable too haha they act like a married couple anyway, so it’s like... pining while the rest of the world already considers them an item? and the pining is mostly about stuff like ahhhh I wanna tell him I love him or ahhhhhh god I wanna kiss him, but then they’ll fall asleep on the couch together or hold hands just for the hell of it or cook for each other or make plans that always involve each other and all in all act as each other’s partner, so it’s mostly just like *Kaminari voice* “God these oblivious idiots” hahaha

Anon said:That latest Akane comic melted my heart like you often do. Though for a moment, I expected Eijirou to say "I don't want Katsuki to be my dad, I want him to be my daddy" XD Though that would not sound like him. Props for his adorable interactions with Scarlet Death Queen Witch.

Anon you don’t get it that’s exactly why I had him say “be his son” instead of “be my dad” LMAO it was like, a conscious wording decision hahaha thank you so much for liking my girl, btw!!!

Anon said:Fran! I was just wondering if you would be willing to post your Demon Kiri and Angel Baku art on Redbubble? I'd love to buy a print of it!! Totally understand if not. Also your newer Akane comics are killing me, they're so damn cute!! So yeah love you and your beautiful art! Hope you have an awesome year!!

I CAN TRY I think I did try last time I updated my rb? But the format of the pic made it hard to use it for a lot of things so I gave up??? I can try again tho!!! Thank you for being interested in buying it!!! And thank you for liking Akane too!!!!!

Anon said:is katsuki and kirishima not together in the adopted child comics or is there gonna be a plot to them getting together? 👀

I’m not really writing anything cohesive for it so I wouldn’t call it a plot point, but yeh they still aren’t together! And I wanna have them get to the point in which they are together!!! :D

Anon said:I'm gonna die why do you do this with your adorable art my god

PLEASE!!!!! DON’T DIE!!!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:Your Akane + KiriBaku comics are adorable and I love the relationships that exist between them. I can't wait to see more of them!

Thank you so much!!!!!!!!!!! I hope I won’t disappoint!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:I love your art so much!! Especially the little Akane au (so freaking cute!!!!). Random question: if you’ve ever seen Lucifer, who do you think would fit his character? Have an awesome day!

I haven’t seen it, sorry :((( but thank you for liking my girl!!!!!!

Anon said:I apologize if this has already been thought of but i feel as though when akane gets older and if she decides to be a hero, part of her costume could include useful red objects mayhaps?? Such as a shield or daggers or handcuffs so if there’s a lack of red around her she isn’t in a complete ditch. But i love your work sm ahhh💕💕

Yes!!! That’s the plan!!!!! I don’t think I’ll ever draw a teen version of her character but I MIGHT mention this idea in the current timeline, I like the idea so much TT^TT

Anon said:Hey there, I am absolutely obsessed with Akane like I love her so much wow but anyways I was wondering if you've ever drawn tododeku/ will in the future?

Thank you!!!! And I have drawn them in the past (under my tododeku tag!) and I might draw them again in the future, though currently I’m in a pretty big izu//ocha mood so I dunno when that will happen!

Anon said:I love your art so much like??? Help???

THANK YOU TTATT

Anon said:Y'know it could be gayer c'mon

This ask has been in my inbox for 17 days and I still don’t know what it means ??? but I laughed a lot when I got it so thank you anon and yes, definitely, everything could always be gayer that’s just how the world goes

Anon said:I swear you drew an older version of the krbk kids and it wasn't a fever dream I'm currently frantically searching through your blog rn help

I DID that post is CURSED anon, you can look it up through any of the tags I used to tag it and it won’t show up it won’t and I don’t know why!! I always lose it exactly because of this reason I have zero idea why it does this but??? okay I guess???????????

anyway if you still want it it’s here

Anon said:If Akane can control red things, does she low-key also have control over things that are pink and orange depending on how reddish in hue they are? I love her btw. Such a smol bean who could probably kick my ass!

What a good question you got there!! She has control over everything that has a color that falls in the red wavelength of the visible spectrum - that does include certain tones of pink and certain tones of orange, but there’s a point where orange gets too yellow or pink gets too white that her powers stop working. As long as the red in the color is more than any other hue, though, her powers work!

Anon said: im just imagining if baku takes akane with him when he is going to work and is there with kiri and akane help kiri with his hair bc she is suffering when he tries to style it himself

Once they start getting along better Akane and Kiri actually start helping each other with their hair! They’re both very particular about it so they understand each other as far as that topic goes haha

Anon said:Hi I just wanted to say I’m really enjoying what you are doing in your latest drawing. The contrast with the thick sketchy lines and the thinner crisp ones and the spaces that have no defined line! It’s cool to see you experiment with your line work while staying true to your natural style! Sorry if this came off weird but I love seeing talented artists try pushing the boundaries of their style it’s really visually/conceptually interesting! :)

AH MAN thank you so much I’m so happy to know you like that tool TT^TT it’s really super comfy to use, so it’s nice to know someone finds it visually appealing too!!! thank you!!!!!

Anon said:Is there any chance you could make a masterpost of the aus you do? It's a lot to scroll down to the beginning of a concept u have sometimes and it can be unclear when they start

They all have a tag they’re under, tho? If I’ve made more than one post about them! I have so many AUs going around that making a masterpost with all of them is a bit... mostly so since I don’t know for how many I’ll actually go back on! But if the tags don’t really work for you (generally the link is gonna look like https://franeridart.tumblr.com/tagged/[here goes the tag]/chrono to have it in chronological order) then I can try? I can’t promise I’ll find a comfortable way to do this, tho orz sorry!

Anon said:This might be an odd ask but does Akane like Jirou? I feel like they would get along really well. And how about her grandma Mitsuki? Since she takes after Katsu who takes after her, they could make an adorably angry trio

She hasn’t spent much time with Jirou yet so right now she’s mostly meh about her (though right now she only actually likes Bakugou, and she’s warming up to Kiri, but that’s about it). She doesn’t mind Mitsuki, but she hasn’t spent too long with her either! She yells a bit too much at her dad tho, which Akane isn’t particularly fond of (protective bean that she is, she doesn’t get that that’s just their way of communicating just yet), so out of her grandparents she prefers Masaru, after all~

#fran answers #a bunch of asks i had forgotten about after closing the inbox!!!#jesus im a disaster #i was sure i had a couple asks more in here but i can't find them so...???#ah well #either way i'm sorry these took so long my brain is seriously all over the place lately #go d s #anonymous

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fanfics4all · 6 years ago

Text

Seeing The Past

Request: Yes / No Heyo! If it’s not too much trouble (which is fine if you’re busy!), can I get a 15, and 33 with Rick Grimes? Thank you! @arthur-morgans-sweetheart

Request are closed <3 Have a nice day/night

Rick Grimes x Rhee!Reader

Word count: 1926

Warnings: Glenn’s death

Y/N: Your Name

Y/N/N: Your Nickname

PLEASE DO NOT STEAL MY WORK, I WORK HARD ON MY FICS AND IT’S NOT COOL TO STEAL SOMEONE ELSE’S WORK!

If you want to be on the tag list for anything (My series fics, specific character fics, or just all of them) All you have to do is send me an ask and I will add you!

Masterlist

(Not my photo, credit to whoever made it!)

Who knew the end of the world would happen this way? Dead people roaming the earth… People seeing their loved ones as rotting corpse walking around or lying dead on the ground. It was a depressing world, but my brother helped me keep surviving. Glenn Rhee was the one person I was living for still. We may not be related by blood, but he was my older brother (By only a year, but he acted like I was way younger.). I was adopted by his parents before the world went to shit. He was always protective of me and when the dead started walking, he was even more protective. I wasn’t allowed to go anywhere outside of where we were staying without him. He knew I could handle myself, but he didn’t want to take any risks. When our group found Alexandria, Glenn was so happy. He thought we were finally in a safe place and so did I. Glenn, Maggie, and I had our own house with running water and everything! It was amazing that a place like this still existed! It almost felt normal… That was until someone named Negan came into the picture…

Glenn went with some of our people to take care of the Saviors and Negan. I was told to stay back. Glenn and I fought and he ended up winning. Before they left I ran to the gate.

“Glenn!” I called to my brother and he turned around.

“‘I told you you’re staying here!” He said with a slight glare.

“I know, I am. I just wanted to say I love you and you better come back to me in one piece.” I said with a worried tone. His face softened and pulled me in for a hug.

“Y/N/N, don’t worry. We’ll be back before you know it.” He said smiling down at me.

“Please be careful…” I said and he nodded.

“I love you squirt.” He said ruffling my hair. Then I watched them leave and the gate close.

It was a week when the group came back. I watched the gate open and everyone walk in. I ran up to them and looked for Glenn. I didn’t see him. I didn’t see Maggie. I didn’t see Abraham. I didn’t see shasha. I didn’t see Daryl. I looked at what was left of the group confused and worried.

“W-Where’s Glenn?” I asked. Everyone looked at me sadly and the looked at Rick.

“Y/N-”

“Where is my brother?” I asked louder and more worried.

“I’m sorry…” Rick said and my eyes glossed over.

“No… No! He can’t be dead! What did you do!?” I shouted at him.

“Hey, it wasn’t his fault.” Carl said.

“Like hell it wasn’t! It was his idea to go after them in the first place!” I shouted with tears falling down my face.

“I’m sorry Y/N…” He said shaking his head.

“How did he die?” I asked looking at the ground, watching my tears hit the dark ground.

“You don’t want to know.” He said.

“That’s not your decision to make! How did my brother die?” I asked glaring at him through tear filled eyes.

“Negan. We didn’t kill them all… Negan killed him.” He answered.

“How?” I asked not accepting that as the answer.

“You don’t need to know that…” He said.

“Tell. Me. How. My. Brother. Died.” I said determined to know.

“He bashed his head in… there was blood all over the ground…” Rick said and I let out a cry.

“W-where’s his b-body?” I cried.

“Maggie took it with her to Hilltop. Her and Sasha.” He answered.

“This is your fault.” I said and ran into my house.

That happened months ago, but I remember it like it was yesterday… My brother was dead. The one person that I was surviving for is dead. The rest of the group had been keeping their eyes on me because they thought I was a danger to myself. They weren’t wrong. I was a danger to myself, that’s why they took all my weapons from me. I could hear my brother’s voice every day and it was driving me crazy. He would tell me how this isn’t how mom and dad would want me to act. How he was worried about me. How I should leave my room. How I shouldn’t have hurt myself. How I should be living my life like he taught me. How I should be surviving…

“Hey Y/N?” The voice of the man I never wanted to see again rang through my room. I didn’t answer and just kept staring at the wall.

“Are you okay?” He asked. Again, I ignored him. He sighed and I felt him sit next to me on my bed.

“Glenn wouldn’t want you living like this.” He said and I looked at him for the first time since he told me my brother was dead.

“Don’t you say his name.” I growled at him.

“Y/N, Glenn would want you to survive, to fight-”

“He’s dead because of you!” I shouted getting up.

“Negan killed him not-”

“You’re the reason he was out there in the first place! He only went because of you! You killed him!” I shouted crying once again.

“I’m sorry…” He sighed.

“Get out.” I said.

“Y/N please, just let me talk.” He said and I growled.

“Get the hell out of my house!” I shouted and threw a book at him. Rick got up and I heard him shut the front door. I sat back on my bed and hugged my knees crying.

“You need to forgive him.” I heard Glenn say.

“He killed you…” I said looking up at him.

“No Y/N/N, Negan killed me not Rick.” He said and I shook my head.

“You went because of Rick…” I cried.

“I went because of you. I wanted to keep you safe and I knew that would be the only way to do it.” He said and I stared at him.

“You died because of me then?” I asked crying more.

“No, I died because of Negan.” He said and I swear I could feel his arms around me.

“You need to forgive Rick.” He said.

“Only if you don’t leave me again…” I said.

“I’ll never leave you.” He said and again I swear I could feel him kiss my head like he always did.

A week after that Glenn kept telling me to forgive him. I figured Rick would come check up on my again, but he never did. My brother told me to leave the house and apologize and forgive him. So for the first time in months, I showered, got dressed in something other than just Glenn’s clothes, but I still wore his sweatshirt. I walked downstairs and grabbed the handle to the front door.

“Just open the door Sis.” He said and I took a deep breath.

“You’ll be there with me right?” I whispered. I thought I felt his hand on my shoulder.

“Always.” He said and I opened the door. The sunlight felt nice on my skin, I haven’t seen it in so long. I could feel everyone looking at me. I kept my head down and walked to the Grimes’ house. I knocked on the door and after a few minutes I looked up to see Carl answer.

“Y/N? You’re- You’re here…” He said shocked and I nodded my head.

“Um… is your dad home?” I asked and he nodded.

“Yeah, come on in.” He said moving to the side. I walked in and he called up to his dad. Rick walked down and looked at me shocked.

“Carl, why don’t you go check on Rosita.” Rick said to his son. Carl nodded then left the house.

“Is everything okay, Y/N?” He asked.

“Forgive him.” My brother’s voice said to me.

“I’m sorry I blamed you… Glenn wouldn’t blame you.” I said and he looked at me shocked once again.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t bring your brother back to you.” He said walking closer to me.

“It’s okay… I know he’s always with me.” I said and Rick pulled me into a hug. I looked behind him to see Glenn smiling at me.

After that day Rick was keeping me close to him. He was actually really sweet and caring. He actually asked me on a date, which I thought was weird seeing as it was the end of the world, but I accepted. It was surprisingly nice, he made dinner, we watched some movie he had in their house, and the night ended with a kiss. It was a pretty nice night, and I haven’t had one of those since Glenn died…

We got into a relationship and everyone was shocked to say the least. But when they saw my smile back they understood. They were happy to see me back to normal. Well to them I was normal, but my brother haunted me. I wasn’t even sure if it was his ghost or if he was something my mind made up to help me cope. Rick wanted me to move in with him and Carl after a few months, but I was scared to. I didn’t want him to know about Glenn…

“Glenn?” I asked when I didn’t see him with me.

“Glenn? Where are you?” I asked my eyes starting to water. There was no answer.

“Glenn please!” I called out and tears left my eyes.

“Glenn, Don’t die on me– Please.” I cried holding my knees to my chest.

“Shhh, I’m right here Y/N/N.” I heard him say and I looked up to see him smiling at me.

“Where were you? I thought you were gone again.” I said sobbing.

“I’m sorry, Sis, I didn’t mean to scare you.” He said.

“You can’t leave me like that! I can’t do this without you!” I said and he pulled me to him.

“Don’t worry little sis, I’m never leaving you.” He said.

“I love you Glenn.” I said.

“Y/N?” I heard Rick’s voice. I looked up and saw him looking concerned.

“Rick? What are you doing here?” I asked and looked my brother.

“Who are you talking to?” He asked looking around my room.

“N-No one…” I said.

“I heard you say your brother’s name. Do you see him?” He asked walking closer to me.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about…” I said and glanced at my brother.

“Tell him.” Glenn said and I shook my head.

“No…” I whispered, but Rick heard.

“You are seeing him… How long?” He asked.

“I’m not seeing my-”

“Don’t lie to me.” He said sitting next to me on the bed.

“How long?” He asked.

“Since he died…” I said and he sighed.

“Y/N, he’s gone…” He said and I shook my head.

“No! He said he’d never leave me!” I cried and he pulled me to him.

“He’ll always be in your heart, but he’s not here Y/N.” He said and I shook my head.

“I can’t do it without him…” I said and he pulled my face up to look at him.

“You have me.” He said and looked into his eyes.

“I love you Y/N, and I’m going to do right by Glenn and protect you. Including protecting you from yourself.” He said then captured my lips in a kiss. It was sweet and mixed with the saltiness of my tears.

“Let me help you.” He said and I nodded.

“Okay…”

Tag list: @les-bio-lie @tashy-bear @xrosesareredx @herokyolachan @ashwarren32 @hollie-blogs @schisbro87 @lover-of-books-and-teas @nerdygaloresposts @alex--awesome--22 @teenwolfbitches2 @genius2050 @drw0301bieber @tigermillionaire-philanthropist @marveloverdcsstuff

#The Walking Dead #the walking dead imagine #rick grimes #rick grimes x reader #rick grimes x you #rick grimes x fem!reader #glenn #glenn rhee #glenn x sister!reader #carl grimes #fanfic #request #prompt

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patchdotexe · 6 years ago

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So, I have a character who is a system, and I wanted to know before I develop them further, how does DID work, from a personal account? I really really really don't want to accidentally create yet another TOXIC misinterpretation of a real condition (because I know how horrible that can feel), and I hope I'm not saying anything wrong even now. (P.S. I love your blog, but I'm too shy to come off anon.)

hey anon!! it means a LOT to me that you sent this message :D theres a lot of really messy-bad potrayals of DID in the media so seeing people actually going to the effort of asking systems abt their experiences is really heartwarming for us. (plus the fact that ppl keep asking us in specific abt system stuff omg,,)

im gonna preface this by saying that, in the end, i can only really talk about my own experiences with full confidence. systems can work pretty differently from each other, but this is how we function and also some details ive noticed from system friends + general discussion over the years

so, to start off: Dissociative Identity Disorder is, at its core, your brain trying to respond to trauma in a pretty severe way. that being said there ARE systems that didnt experience severe trauma and still developed, and im not really sure about the mechanics behind that but i find it really cool and it totally exists. im gonna focus on trauma-based systems bc that’s our ~tragic backstory~ and also tends to be what most people opt for when creating system characters anyway, but the only real difference from what i can tell is, uh, a lack of trauma.

I HOPE YOU’RE READY FOR ME TO SAY THE WORD “TRAUMA” A WHOLE LOT JFC

(system friends are welcome to reblog with corrections or added info!!)

anyway. the way your brain responds to things is really weird. if something happens where you’re just, like, completely unable to handle it, like you dissociate yourself so hard because there’s no way you can manage this, your brain has a chance of going “uh… well, fuck, uh” and generating somebody who can manage it. or it might decide to be a dick and take all of the fucky internalized garbage and turn it into a person whose sole existence is to be an asshole. (they have the potential to get better, i think… ours didnt.) honestly theres a bunch of reasons and a bunch of “roles” that could lead to an alter/headmate* forming.

* we use the terms interchangeably depending on mood and whos fronting. i think its supposed to be “alter” is DID, “headmate” is implication that theyre non-traumatic? we like using “headmate” because it brings this fun mental image of us being a bunch of roommates constantly starting shit with each other and goofing off which is pretty accurate about 75% of the time

i keep getting distracted bc my cat is here. this is gonna be fun to go back and edit.

whatever the original situation is, you’re suddenly not alone in your own brain. and it’s REALLY WEIRD. communication was VERY hard. Icarus, our system original, used to do a very “cliche” thing of sharing a journal with their early headmates, where theyd write a sentence and then theyd write a reply (although back then they didnt realize that was a system-related thing and just thought they were having a fun conversation with their ocs. which… they were, just. Actually Talking.) they didnt have any inward perception of themself or their headmates either, so that kinda built up over time (with some help) along with the appearance of our headspace so that there was… actually a location for people to interact in. once they had a better awareness of things, mental communication got a bit easier– its sort of like background chatter really, when everybody’s awake. sometimes i get weird out of context things from Mae yelling at somebody, or sometimes ill be talking to a friend and someone’ll butt in.

when talking out loud, this usually leads to us suddenly stopping and then laughing or going “no!!!”. when on discord and around people who know who we are… well.

speaking of Mae, she’s pretty much my sister. not like… biologically? because i don’t think thats possible for me, but shes kinda literally my “other half” which ill get into later. headmates can have strong attachments to other alters! friends, best friends, family, dating, whatever. they can also do that with people outside the system, and itll be different for each headmate. there’s like 4 people dating Jorb but i just see him as one of my best friends. we’re people and we have complex social interactions that can get to be kind of a nightmare when you’re around a bunch of people who don’t know that you’re Not Leo and that youre suddenly not super up to existing around people in general.

plus even if like… so Jorb’s dating 4 of us like i said, but his relationship w/ each of them is different? Ica is very clingy and likes rambling to him, Summer’s pretty much just always happy to hang out, Mae makes fun of him a lot but in a loving way, and Leo is… kinda “all of the above” because that’s his gimmick. plus even tho a few other alters have a sibling-ish relationship with Mae like i do, usually its just me and Mae that do the “chaos siblings” bit.

the basic system.. thing… is that there’s “front”, which is being in control of the body– so, like, i’m currently fronting/in front, because im the one currently active and using our computer and staring at our cat.– and then theres the headspace, where everybody hangs out when theyre not in front. the headspace itself can differ in style & functionality for each system, and i think theres some systems that dont really have a location at all? but for us its like a full on location where we have individual rooms, places to visit if we get bored while away from front, etc.

theres also like, being at/near/away from front? so currently im in front, but Leo is pretty much always lurking nearby if he’s awake (we have individual sleep schedules that dont always sync up to the “irl” one, Trust is almost always sleeping), Ica’s somewhat in the back talking to Rookie so i cant really make out what theyre saying (its probably about either a youtube thing they both like or about a comic they want to do), and everyone else is either asleep (in which case they could be nearby but i cant currently “ping” them, so id have to actually take a sec to ground myself in headspace more) or in a different room. communication is easier if im in front and somebody is nearby, or it can be like with Ica rn where im like “well, theyre talking, but i have no idea what theyre saying and am making a guess based off their usual interactions”, or i could pass off front to go talk to Ica and come back (in which case my memory would be kind of vague and weird because information doesnt always properly translate), oooor i could actually go bug them while still in front. which.. im not gonna do rn bc then id get super distracted.

switching front differs between systems a lot! and even varies from day to day. like there are days where we wake up and we have absolutely no idea who we are bc we went to bed as one person and woke up as another. or we could be talking to somebody and then realize “wait, i stopped being Leo a bit ago, who am i”. or we could pass off front to somebody, like if Summer really wanted to front sie’d run up to me and let me know and we’d swap. or if something critical happens (usually a breakdown), Leo or one of the other headmates that’re more built to handle stressful situations will literally drag somebody out of front to make sure they dont hurt themself. or sometimes we throw front at people unexpectedly, like either mid-breakdown where we go “okay i dont wanna be here anymore, tag youre it” or sometimes because we think its funny because its the metaphysical equivalent of getting clonked in the head with a dodgeball, except the dodgeball is “being in control of our shared physical form”. usually mae’s the one that does that lmao

there’s a couple major categories of how alters come about. there’s “walk-ins”, where they kinda just… appear externally? like they just show up. sometimes we get a feeling of “huh. i think somebody might be here? or somebody might be showing up soon.” and have to rummage around for a while until they approach us or we find them. our walk-ins aren’t like, inherently aware of system stuff at first, so they usually get a crash course before they first front (if they choose to front at all) and it can be kinda entertaining. Rookie’s a walk-in! also Hiro, from a couple years ago. most of our walk-ins are fictives (fictional characters, usually appearing in response to us getting extremely attached to something or somebody) but a couple of our trauma splits are also fictives so that’s not like, a Rule or anything. i think these are mostly associated with non-traumatic systems but we get em fairly often so man idk

theres also… uh, i dunno what theyre actually called? we used to call them “constructs” but that sounds kind of mean. these alters exist to fill a specific role! and we usually dont talk about them on here with the exception of one major one, they just kinda hang out. Dhe exists to keep the system stable and manages the “backend” so to speak. Imp is kind of a mix of our intrusive & impulsive thoughts that came about from us trying to separate ourself from them so that we had an imaginary entity to go “nope!” at, which… stopped being imaginary, and is now a gremlin that lives in my brain. they can show up in response to trauma but arent split off of somebody, they kinda just pop into existence to help manage things.

the more… well-known, i guess? alter origin is “trauma splits”. rather than “just showing up one day with no real connection to the system origins”, trauma splits are formed when somebody in-system, uh, splits. it could be in response to a single situation or something built up over a long time, but somebody just kinda breaks and somebody new that has a bit of the original alter’s identity (if kinda influenced by the situation) shows up.

this can vary. All is a trauma split off of Leo himself, who got saddled with all of our brain hell about our ex and their insystem appearance is influenced more by eir than by leo which is… something they struggle with. Mae has a trauma split from a similar situation that is “Mae but from 2 years ago”, so basically her old identity before she reworked herself after getting put through total hell. and then uh… then there’s me and Mae! Icarus quite literally exploded into several people, with Pat (me) and Mae being the most distinct ones. we’re STILL finding out alters used to originally be a part of them that later evolved into their own people, like Summer and Toby. my identity is shaped pretty heavily not just by who Ica was at time of splitting, but also what they wanted to be jumbled together with trying to rationalize what was happening to them (they’re a pretty big fan of megaman star force, which has a media-typical system in it, so they leaned into hard “its like pat and rey from mmsf! i like pat, i wouldnt mind being like pat, its scary but im like one of my current favourite characters” and so i ended up being like, half-weird shapeshifter, half-green-haired prettyboy. and yeah thats where my name comes from!)

(Ica got put back together w/o anybody needing to integrate, which we were all very scared about, and it’s still kind of surreal to me because… me and Mae used to be able to stick ourself back together and thats how we found out about what happened to Ica in the first place? and we havent tried that since bc we have no idea what would happen. Ica 2: Ica Harder?)

despite their origins, trauma splits can be way more than… being a split. :V;; Toby’s not just a tiny splinter of Ica, he’s a quiet guy that gets stressed out and isn’t totally sure how to interact with people. i’ve existed for like 7 years at minimum and im a totally different person than i was when i thought i was still Ica, ‘cause ive had time to grow and change (and a problem Ica keeps running into now that theyre back is… they kinda Didn’t change because they were MIA for 6 years.) like everything else though this is variable– there can be “temporary” splits that dont develop properly and might get integrated back in, which has only happened to us when we were at the lowest point in our life where we were stuck constantly splitting to try and cope with whatever the hell was going on.

so Ica was gone for 6 years, which meant our system was without an original or main– there wasn’t anybody to be head of the system, basically. for a while i was operating under the assumption that i was Ica, so i filled in that role for a few years before i made the realization. eventually i kinda… stopped being able to, though, bc of stability issues, and then we were back to not really having a proper main anymore. to make up for it, we started going by Leo collectively and kinda… trying to pretend to be a single person? and so that ended up creating a construct to fill the role of “system main and the person we pretend to be when passing as singlet/not a system”: Leo himself! he’s kinda the most prominent traits we all have in common rolled into a single guy, which means that not only is he a pretty good system representative but we can also pretend to be him pretty easily (unless it’s someone like Toby who acts totally different). i dont know how common this situation is, i think normally it’s just “if system original is gone, another alter steps up” like originally happened to us before i had a severe case of problems disorder.

uhhh this is very rambley bc there’s a Lot to cover and now im trying to figure out how much of it i HAVE covered. systems are complicated and weird! OH WAIT okay i have one last bit.

so like, for us, first realizing we were a system was total hell. we fought a lot. as more alters showed up through various means, there were times where Ica felt like they were completely out of control of their own life bc of having to manage everything. there were a lot of panic attacks of people fronting and not being sure they were even REAL, despite… being in front. but we still felt like we were deluding ourself. this was in, like, late 2011, so systems weren’t a THING. they were a very fringe community that everyone hated. we got constantly harassed, which only fed into Ica’s panic hell and our identity issues. interpersonal relationships became a nightmare, especially because we have BPD as well which varies in severity for each of us but… for me it’s pretty bad! there were times early on where every day was another fun new breakdown from us arguing with each other or our friends or not being understood or… etc.

so… how are we holding up ~7 and a half years later? pretty well, actually! we talk to each other. we do things for each other, like buy food or games we know specific headmates like. Ica is back and way happier than they were in 2011, and is thrilled to get to hang out with everybody that’s showed up since. we help each other through problems, because at the end of the day our system ended up being a support network. Ica couldnt function on their own, so we’re like… 10+ people working together to try and be a single functional person. and we feel pretty okay with that! we still fight, and we still start shit, but we’re not in constant crisis anymore. we’re still working through all of our trauma, especially the more “recent” stuff that kinda broke our system for a while until we were able to start rebuilding, but we’re doing it together. :D

so… yeah, it can start out as a stereotypical “nightmare system”, with constant infighting and toxicity and self-sabotage and etc. but we worked through it! it took a while, but we’re overall more stable than we were before. we got out of the bad environment that was fucking us up, we got mental help for our other brain hell (we havent been able to bring up the system to our therapists bc its literally a non-issue now and we focus more on other things like our depression, anxiety, PTSD, etc), we found people that support us for being us, and we were able to like… figure things out. and it was a mess! i still have issues about my own identity because of literally thinking i was someone else for two years. Ica’s still trying to figure out how to adjust to things, especially bc they missed our entire “cringe culture” phase so they came back to find that i’d dismantled a lot of their middle-school settings. and, uh, some of their friendships as well.

systems are fuckin weird

#leo chirps #leos reply #system shit #i dont think i covered EVERYTHING #and im not sure how coherent this is #but i tried! :D #Anonymous #ask #pat.txt

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