#i really am very shy

[volitioncheck]

does near every single post-canon DE fic out there need to be tagged ‘Sober Harry Du Bois’? i’m getting so tired of it.

do i expect every single piece of fan content to have to fully delve into the often-depressing always-complex topic of addiction? not really. sometimes you just want to write/read a silly fluffy romance one-shot, whatever. i get it. but i think my issue is specifically with the fact that for nearly every sillyfluffy au out there, there almost must be a ‘sober harry du bois’ tag. and it does feel very slapped-on more often than not.

i think to me it is an unconscious statement that nothing *good* can ever happen to harry du bois until he is completely and permanently sober. before solving the next big case, he has to be sober. before quitting the force, he has to be sober. before falling in love with kim, he has to be sober. before accomplishing anything, starting any sort of recovery, making any life improvement, he must first be sober.

sobriety as a goal, as a journey, and honestly as a concept in of itself is not as cut and dry as so many people think it is. and i think it would serve a lot of people well if they did some introspection on the implications of how nearly every single post-canon fic that isn’t dealing directly with harry’s addiction have him as completely sober instead.

if the plot of the fic isn’t going to touch directly on harry’s substance use (and again, i’m not demanding that every single fic should), why does that mean that sober!harry must be the default?

i think i am just tired of reading a casefic, a smutty one-shot, a fantasy au, whatever, where it almost seems that before getting on with the plot, the author feels obligated to first assure us that the harry we’re reading about is a Sober Harry. it’s established with a couple lines in the exposition, probably about his improved appearance, a tag up top, and then never brought up again; a checkmarked box. like the societal image of An Addict has completely prevented people from being able to imagine a person just, continuing to live life, while still struggling with addiction.

life happens, with all of its backslides and achievements, mundanity and changes, to people with drug addictions just as much as people who don’t. is a post-canon harry who isn’t sober not worth writing about?

i think so. i think the game we all played thinks so too. in fact i think that sentiment is woven into the game’s very core. i just wish i saw that reflected in our fan content more.

[fakenbreedable]

Truly it's no wonder I have a CNC and Rape kink. I'm terrified of getting pregnant, so I'm scared of all penetrative sex. So of course I need a real dominant man to force it inside me! Obviously I want to be fucked after all, so don't wait for me to invite you in or ask you to do it, and just do it 🥰

[anghraine]

I've been moving and navigating further departmental nonsense etc (my pseudo-dissertation got approved for defending, though! l o l). But it was interesting to see the Worst P&P Takes poll I reblogged accumulating more results and the general tenor of responses in the notes.

I mean, the results are definitely to be expected if you're familiar with the side of Austen fandom doing a lot of the reblogging etc. But still, interesting!

Many Tumblr polls specify that they're asking about personal preferences that may be irrational—favorite/least favorite, coolest/most annoying, or something like that. This one, though, asked for the worst interpretation of P&P, not the most annoying one—and the current leader is "Darcy is never really proud, he's just shy and probably has anxiety" against some very steep competition on the Bad Takes front.

I was thinking about why that seemed a kind of tediously predictable choice even though I agree that the take is wrong, and realized that while I do disagree with the shy Darcy interpretation and I particularly disagree with the specific formulation where he is never proud at all, it ultimately feels to me like a failure of nuance rather than just completely wrongheaded like some of the others. And this is probably my fundamental difference with a lot of Darcy takes I see!

In my opinion, a character who is introverted and who feels awkward in various social situations and who doesn't like common social activities and who has to work himself up to talking to his crush and who is repeatedly suggested to behave very differently in contexts where he's more comfortable being interpreted as shy and anxious is not that big of a leap.

Yes, it's important that he is actually fundamentally confident and haughty, that he makes his personal feelings of discomfort other people's problem, and that he thinks he's such a unique and special butterfly that he doesn't need to even put in an effort outside his personal social circle. But it's a misreading that is easy to follow (and long predates the 2005 P&P, as I've mentioned before!).

The additional misreading that a shy and anxious Darcy is also never proud at all is a much more drastic leap, and in my experience, condemnations of shy Darcy interpretations rarely differentiate between "Darcy is shy as well as arrogant" and "Darcy is shy rather than arrogant" as interpretations (although their basic arguments are quite different). But even that as the worst possible misreading of P&P when Darcy is not even the main character is ?????????

I mean, for one alternative (not even the one I voted for!), the idea that Elizabeth is an author avatar Mary Sue seems a far worse misreading of P&P than basically anything to do with Darcy at all. The center piece of the entire novel is Elizabeth's epiphany of self-knowledge about her own shortcomings that do not particularly resemble Austen's at all, but were ethically a concern for her, and she's a complex, interesting character in general whom Austen correctly regarded as a major achievement. Inverting that into Elizabeth as an improbably perfect, reality-warping self-insert is deeply wrong and frankly pretty misogynistic as well.

(ngl though, it's a little funny to see such a blatantly terrible reading of Elizabeth rank so far behind the shy Darcy votes. I've gotten "does anyone actually think/say that?" so many times on my posts about Austen fandom's prioritization of Darcy's character development over Elizabeth's and yet...)

And even just going with the Darcy-centric misreadings, the idea of Darcy as a "bad boy" seems easily the most absolutely wrong take on him. His pride is at least complicated and the finer points can be fairly debated and it's a quality that actually changes somewhat throughout the novel, and you can have discussion over what happened when, whose testimonies should be weighted more, etc. But there is no point at which "bad boy" isn't utterly wrong for him. However, there's definitely a tendency in some wings of the fandom to find the idea of Darcy being misread too favorably more objectionable than him being read too unfavorably, regardless of the particulars, so it's not a surprise.

I suppose you could argue about what "worst" means in the context of variously bad interpretations. Like, is an interpretation that is about a fairly trivial aspect of the book but extremely wrong about it "worse" than an interpretation that is pretty bad but at least comprehensibly so about something very important?

[hanafubukki]

Happy Three Year Anniversary 🥹💚🌺

It’s my three year anniversary since I first started writing fanfics on tumblr. I think back about the first time I published fanfics on here and everyone I met along the way because of that one moment of time.

When I took that step to allow myself to express/be myself and publish something I wrote. It led to meeting so many wonderful people here and irl and I am forever grateful to myself and to all of you.

I am forever grateful for all the encouragement you all give me and I can’t say it enough. Be it comments, asks, reblogs, likes, tagging or what have you.

Everyday is fun and brings a smile to my face. I look forward to the future because of it.

So really, thank you everyone. I’m so happy to have met and interacted with you and hope to continue to do so ☺️💚🌺

[sysig]

Some highlights from a tense but still very Winterkov-y scene (Patreon)

[harmlessghosty]

Touchstarved love-interests when they first meet a plus-size MC

~ demo spoilers below the cut ~

Kuras carries you out of the Fogfall into Eridia without an issue, bridal style and cautious not to jostle you for fear of making the bleeding much worse. He’s careful placing you onto the operating table, not thinking at all about your weight and how shoddy the equipment in his clinic might be. After all, he’s operated on people as large and larger than Leander, so you’re a drop in the bucket. No judgement at all for your size. In fact, he still finds you fascinating. If you’re entirely out of shape as well, he shows concern for your ability to travel such long distances, but overall, he’s truly just happy to see that you’ve survived. After you leave, he tosses your torn clothing, stopping for a moment to allow himself to think about how wonderful you looked to him.

Leander is immediately smitten. Oh? Someone with curves? With parts that jiggle? How exciting! And you seem just as interested, aren’t you? Why wouldn’t you be, when he’s instantly doting upon you with caresses to your wide hips and nudges to your shoulders in hopes that you might take his hand. To hell with the bandages; he’s interested, but more than that, he’s blinded with a vague sense of lust. After all, his escapades are known throughout Lowtown, though he’s careful to find only the best partners for himself. If he could just get you into that room at the Wet Wick for a moment…but no. He settles for placing his hands on your cheeks, forcing you to look at him with curiosity and bewilderment, and charms you with his smile.

Vere watches from a distance at first. His eyes rake up and down your body from his chained-up perch as he wishes he could draw you closer to get a better look. All he can think is that, from behind, you look quite ravishing. He imagines your ass would look nice without that sweater from that awful doctor’s office covering it. Maybe he could have a peek if he manages to flip it up with a sharp breeze? As he teases you for losing your key, he takes long pauses to better observe your shape and keep you guessing, and he struggles to hold back a grin. It’s been some time since he’s seen someone as curvy and fleshy as you in this shit town. He wonders if you might join at the brothel for a rendezvous and implies that you’re always welcome. Though he’s teasing, he does genuinely hope you accept his offer, just so he can see…

Ais is quick to notice your size and smirks to himself. You’re big everywhere too, aren’t you? And he loves it. Look at that—Someone who can match his size and handle his rougher-than-typical approach to attraction. When he shows himself to you, he takes a good, long look up and down your body, practically drooling at the thought of dragging you behind the columns of the Seaspring and seeing what’s under those clothes. Would you move as smoothly as he thinks you might? Maybe you have a cute voice too along with that size. If you didn’t look so mentally weak, little sparrow, then he might throw you into the Seaspring himself to give you a reason to stay. You know he can lift anything with those muscles, not to mention he would love to swing you around like a rag doll, putting you exactly where he wants you.

Mhin doesn’t even think about your size at first. In fact, they’re so focused on their Soulless target that they hardly notice you exist. The moment you start blabbering though, they roll their eyes. You’re frustrating them, getting in the way. Here they are, trying to do their job, and you’re thinking they’re here to save you? Ridiculous. But…Don’t you look interesting in an outfit that they recognize is from Kuras’ clinic. Something that shows off your body in a way they’re not sure whether they like. Are you trying to attract attention to yourself for some kind of gain, or are you just stupid? Don’t you know that, in a place like Eridia, it’s better to blend in? They think to offer you their cloak, but they need it more, after all. Besides, they certainly don’t mind seeing someone with your pretty shape in their line of sight, not that they’d admit it.

[napping-sapphic]

Telling people i’m too shy to start talking to people and dating only for them to tell me to just meet people online like bestie i’m shy online too😭😭

[nuppu-nuppu]

How the heck do people make themselves approachable irl and online I feel like people see me as a concrete wall with some graffiti on it that is a circle that says autistic inside of it

[potatobugz]

here's a few things I drew 2day. no I am definitely not starting a nother project what makes you say that

[shannonsketches]

He said "Fuck this shit, I'm out" I'm crying. Toriyama's Vegeta was so top shelf 🤌

(From Neko Majin Z Chapter 5!)

[icewindandboringhorror]

"We can get through this by working together, reach out to your friends, community is all we have, a social network will be your security in the world, now is the time to lean on others!"

I do agree, and it's scientifically sound (pretty sure there is data about how people with better social networks live longer and etc) but also....augh..... what about the severe social issues, difficulty to leave the house, physical issues which lead to like zero socialization energy a majority of the time, etc. etc. Social support can be a replacement for structural support, but.. I guess I just wish it didn't have to be. Community is extremely difficult to build, even moreso if you're someone who has issues with social cues or group conversations or even just being around others in the first place. And blah, nuance, of course I'm just complaining or maybe being too negative or maybe misunderstanding, but, I hardly have the energy to brush my hair once every 2 months.. how am I supposed to maintain a wide social network and be active in a Community and Join Groups lol... sometimes it kind of feels like "er.. well if thats my only option then...... ruh roh". It's overwhelming

[pageofheartdj]

Please, allosexuals can be sex-repulsed. It's not either both or neither. You can be attracted to people and want to be intimate with them, but feel aversion to the idea anyway.

[kaijusmart]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY @darksouls2yuri HERES BOTTLE FOR YOU

[jils-things]

IM GOING TO COLLAPSE WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭💚😭💚😭💚😭💚😭💚💚🥺💚😭💚😭💚😭💚😭😭💚😭💚😭💚😭💚💚🥹💚😭💚😭💚😭💚🥺💚😭💚🥺💚💚😭💚🥺 SOPHIA WHAT;!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT THE HELL!!!!!!!!!!!

NO NO YOU DID NOT JUST SUDDENLY TELL YOURSELF MMM YES I GOTTADRAW MISTER MOLE FNGNGKGKGKGNGKKFKGKGKGG 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈 I CAN'T LOOK IM SO SHY 🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈AND HISLITTOL BEBE MOLEDGHHHGFHRJRKGJJGJHG THE ILLUSTRATION I SHARED AAAAAA U TOOK NOTE OF THATI FEELSO ;;;';&;::;';';

[vamphorica]

i would like a little group of people that i can talk to about death note and writing... please.

[aliusfrater]

https://www.tumblr.com/bonecage/761468941359054848/remembering-this-exists?source=share

Jensen lore

i'm not gonna lie to you i'm not inclined to believe anything about jensen from an untagged reposted screenshot with 15 notes, of fnalgrldean's post about something their cousin said + the posts right under this one on the blog of the person who reposted the screenshot is them being an archetypical misogynistic asshole about danneel largely because they want to be her. so.

quite frankly the only thing there i can corroborate is the fact about antony star because jensen's talked about how he was told to put on muscle for his suit but then came to set and realised he could've just done padding like homelander's suit + antony has also talked about the padding in his suit. funny to think about him flirting w his coworker though