#i realize i never actually properly talked about seeing it but yeah im a very different person from when i first entered the movie theater

[princekirijo]

I'm forcing myself to see Spiderverse tomorrow. Executive Disfunction has made me put this off for too long 😭

AS YOU SHOULD BRO!! Trust me the movie is so so worth it, all the characters are amazing, the story is so good and the animation is amazing 😭 it's on par with the original easily and I think I even prefer it (only by a small margin I will say). Oh and the music is amazing I've had the credits song on repeat for the past couple of days.

Oh I will say just be mindful of flashing images they don't really warn you before hand but there's a fair bit of it in the movie.

[vanillabeams]

nerdy armin prt2!!

christmas special!!!

warning: smut, pet names, sub men, mention of cum, cursing, teasing

surprise at the end!!

prt1

poor armin..buddy was skipping classes just to avoiding you and we all know how important his classes were to him. he was so embarrassed because he knew for fact that you knew he was getting off to your voice.

it’s been 2 days and you haven’t seen armin at all, he hasn’t answered any of your texts and your seriously getting worried because this isn’t like him at all,

it’s been 4 days now and you can’t lie you miss him a lot the way he can’t look you in the eyes properly..or the way he stares at you in class. you squeeze your thighs together releasing the energy that is slowly creeping up on you which made you realize you arrived at the mall to bring him a christmas gift as an excuse to come over to his house. you shop around the mall finding different things you think he would like making him a little basket.

you knock on his front door rethinking this whole plan but your worries gotten the best of you and now your here there’s no going back, armin opens the door shocked that your here “y-y/n??..what are you doing here?” his tall frame clouding over you and it doesn’t help with what he is wearing. he was wearing a black tank top with shorts that hang just above his knees with his black Yeezy slides and a Santa hat on the side of his head to top it off . he stretches his arm resting it on on the very top of the door

omg he is so fineee you can’t even squeeze your legs together right now cause your standing. “y/n?” you look back up at his face seeing him turn red because you were staring too hard and it was noticeable. “christmas gift duhh” you smile wide at him and he looks down at your glossed lips but quickly looks away embarrassed. “you should come in, i know it’s cold” he stretches the door wider for you.

“ im glad you finally let me inside im freezing!” you walked over to his island and place his gift down “ is this a fine place for me to put your gift here?” he turns around from the door to look over where u placed it “ yeah that’s fine, u can come sit on the couch i’ll get u a blanket i know u said u was cold” before u could tell him you weren’t gonna be here long he is already going upstairs to his room to grab one.

once he sees you sitting on his couch he takes in your outfit and it’s so cute to him. he hands you the blanket and sits next to you. but there is an awfully huge space between you guys because he is so nervous around you. you wrap the blanket around you and it smell just like him. “ armin why haven’t you been to school?” he face turns red reminding him of why he actually skipped school “ i-..i just needed a break. i guess” you could tell he was lying “ armin please don’t lie to me.”

u look at him waiting for a response and you don’t even get a answer, he only does this when he isn’t ready to talk about something so you change the subject and get up seeing his red face as u do so, walking over to his gift. once u grab his gift you sit directly next to him legs touching and everything “ look at what i got you” he grabs the gift out of what seem like the smallest hands ever.

“thank you, you didn’t have to do this” he looks at the basket and then looks at you for 1.2 seconds and looks somewhere else “armin!” his head snaps back at you startled by the way you voice rose up at him “ y-yes..? what’s wrong?” you cross your arms over your chest “ i deserve a response on why you left me on ghost” you watch as he bite his bottom lip “c’mon..you know why”

you start to grow an irritated with him “ armin if i knew why you went ghost on me i wouldn’t be here” you’ve never yelled at him before but he went ghost on you and tried to wipe it off “ last phone call we had..” he doesn’t finish his sentence and you instantly remember what happened “ so you were actually getting off to my voice..??” you can’t help but smirk at his reaction. he holds his face in his palms shaking his head yes you then start to graze the nape of his neck with your acrylics “ aw my voice turns you on min?”

“ i don’t wanna talk about it..” he mumbles in his hands embarrassed. you take a good look at his frame again and you realize that he is hard. you can see his bulge slowly rising so you take it upon yourself to get off the couch and squat right between his legs. he doesn’t realize your between his legs intill you place your hands on his thighs. he removes his hands off his face and looks down at you “y/n?” he then realizes his hard wood is literally poking up right in front of your face. “ i’m s-sorry..” is all the words that he manage to say.

you press your hand on to his bulge and he leans back into the couch biting down on his lower lip to hide back the whine that almost slipped from his lips. you start gently rubbing him thru his pants “ if you can’t hold eye contact i’ll stop.” he looks down at you “ please y/n..you know how hard it is for me to-..” a whine slips from his lips once you take his cock out his boxers and it nearly slaps your face. you use both hands to grip onto his girth just to get the feel of it “ does that feel good min?” he nods his head “ imma need words armin.” you start to kiss on his thighs teasing him “y-yes ma’am” his words makes your cunt flutter

you start kissing his tip as u look up at him seeing the teasing is making him go insane, he is squirming so much “ please..! y/n..” you watch him melt into his own couch “ please what love?” you could tell the names that you are calling him are really getting to him “p-please touch me..” he whines underneath his breath. you press your lips onto his cock swirling your tongue around his tip and slowly start sucking not even half his base before gagging. you use your hands to jerk off the rest you can’t fit into your mouth looking up at him to only see him covering his eyes with his forearm and biting his lip so hard to control his moans and whines.

you remove your lips off him pouting. he realizes you stopped and looked down “look at me and stop hiding your moans from me” his breaths are shaky and he swallow his saliva before speaking “ yes ma’am..” you smile up at him “ good boy” his dick twitches and you soon come to the realization that he likes being praised.

you slide your mouth back onto him now forcing half of him into your mouth going up and down on him faster and faster “f-fuck..! y-y/n” he continues to squirm but his squirming is worse now. his voice is so whiny and high pitch and when you look up making eye contact with him, he completely loses it because he knows he has to make eye contact with you because he is so close to coming. he loses it so bad the poor guys starts sobbing “ y/nnn..fuck! i’m cu-“ dude couldn’t even finish his sentence everything went white around him and next thing you know there’s cum all over your pretty face.

“merry Christmas!” was the last thing u said before he fell asleep

(here’s a visual on what he sounded like)

[puppyjt]

okay my jayessence post because they're actually so tragic. sequel to this post.

another preface: in my u, jason came to the all-caste in the lost days arc (right before issue 6 probably) as a final attempt from talia to get him to see the light basically (and ya know, not go through w utrh and killing more people). plus she knew he wouldn't be able to kill his teachers.

okay so basically. jason is brought into the all caste and absolutely no one likes him. ducra barely tolerates him. why the hell would the all-mother attempt to train a human? a human who has killed people??

he survives the cleansing and they only hate him more. they all see this homocidal human and think, this is everything the all-caste is against, the evilness of modern humanity. it goes against the traditional teachings of purity in the all caste.

essence hates him too, but it's more of a rivalary thing. her mother seems to believe in HIM more than she believes in essence, in HIS goodness, but not essence's. essence hates that, but she's also totally intrigued by this human boy.

when he begins training, she basically tutors him. they begin to talk and spend more time together, she is basically the only person in the all caste that tolerates him (apart from ducra). they bond over their relationships with their parents, being prodigies, and other things like rebirth (her being reincarnated constantly and him being brought back to life).

they begin a romantic and sexual relationship, but due to all castes puritanism, it is strictly forbidden and therefore secret. jason is also seen as ducra's son because she treats him like her own child, thus most people see jason and essence as adopted siblings (obviously they're not but they can't deny it because that would mean admitting they were in a relationship) (this comes from rh:o and that all caste member referring to them as step siblings)

to me, their relationship is very intimate. they're each others first everything. they understand each other in ways they never thought they'd be understood.

anyway, they're extremely close and essence starts to realize that she wants more out of life than just training. she hears about the world outside of the caste, and she wants to experience more than what she does just under her mothers supervision. although she still wants to fight and be a warrior of the all caste, she wants freedom too.

she goes to ducra and says, "hey i want to leave the acres and battle the untitled, i can use my connection to them to find them and end them."

ducra flips out, "no you're being stupid you're not ready. your connection to the untitled is a curse, not a blessing. i should've cleansed you a long time ago, and i was a fool for giving you that choice and allowing you to remain uncleansed."

essence is basically, "i will not succumb to your "purification", we both know im not as pure as you want me to be."

and ducra is like, yeah bitch, i know. you're fucking the human boy. he corrupted you, you've lost your innocence. and you refuse to cleanse yourself, to conform to MY standards of purity.

so ducra exiles her. kicks her out of the all caste, away from the acres. jason is devastated, but he finishes his training. then leaves the all caste and you know the rest. utrh!

now, let's talk about some parallels, contrasts and similarities between essence and jason.

-> "rebirth": essence is given a new life every time she dies. jason todd is killed and reborn in every single universe, and is pretty much implied to be unable to properly die/stay dead. they are both unable to die, there is no end to their suffering, they must keep living. they are soldiers who will fight for eternity (in their parents' war).

-> parents, rapid fire: having a parent who must be right/correct at all times (bruce because of the narrative & "batman can't be wrong", ducra because she's omniscient/knows all). the high expectations put on them. being the black sheep of their people/family. not being able to give up their "impurities" (essence literally and jason with killing) for the sake of their parent's conscience. wanting to fight their family's war but disagreeing with the methods of their parent.

-> souls/shadows: to me, essence's shadows are her soul. she has no actual soul, she hasn't been a real human in a long time. as much as i think the blood blades are fine and can work for a fun story with her and isabel, i think her smoke/shadow stuff should be her main weapon/power (at least when fighting regular stuff, while the blood blades can be used for fighting untitled).

her shadows should be the equivalent to jason's all-blades. they are both weapons using physical manifestation of their "souls."

what do/did they get out of each other?

jason showed essence freedom, rebellion, and broke the black and white view she had been taught. he showed her that life doesn't just have to be about her mother's mission, that there is a whole world outside of the all caste that she can see. he helped her realize that her powers and connection to the untitled can be used for good. he also helped her understand that killing and "immoral" acts do not define someone and that one is not evil or corrupt for committing act for the greater good (killing the untitled is not seen as really killing because they're essentially demons. killing humans is a different thing, regardless of how the human is, if they are not fully corrupt, it's not okay.)

essence showed jason rebellion too. that he can fight and kill and help people without worrying that they're innocent. that there is a way to know when someone is truly beyond saving. she also showed jason care, and intimacy that he wasn't used to. someone who would love and touch him with gentleness and without needing something from him.

they both helped each other realize that their parents way isn't the only way, and that they aren't alone in being messed up, and "impure" in the eyes of their parents. (obviously they met before jason had his confrontation with bruce, but jason knew bruce wouldn't approve of his methods already.)

anyway... i don't know if this explains them well enough, but they're very perfect in my mind (romantically or not). weird freaky looking nonhuman girl x traumatized loser human guy who has never felt the touch of a woman, save me.

i don't necessarily think they need to be in a current romantic relationship, and honestly think her and isabel would benefit from like. haunting and/or torturing him. their relationship is very much a first love kind of thing to me, but i think they still hold a lot of affection for each other and a special place in each others hearts. like they wouldn't be where they are without each other.

hope this makes sense... 😓

[mercifulstate]

HEYY ♡♡

Im the previous anon with the realization/epiphany and I have success!

So I actually found out about loa back in 2021 when I was 13 ish but I never applied properly and could only manifest a cup of coffee, having guests, ladders, etc. Nothing sustainable or something that made it seem not a coincidence.

Since I had this epiphany about 3 days ago after I gave up everything, I have maaajooorr success.

I revised my age! I was previously born in 2008 and I felt old so I revised it to 2009! I didn't realise it until a while ago when my father brought up talks about my passport and stuff, and it was written that I was born in 2009!

I grew taller! This was something I have been working on for the past 4 years because I just didn't grew. It didn't help that i started early (🔴) and stopped growing at 12. But I grew from 5'1.5 to 5'4 (from 157 cm to 164 to be precise). This was too natural that I didn't even notice.

I also lost hella weight. Like hella. I was overweight since I was like 13, and I am finally at a healthy weight (maybe under too?). Lost about 11 kg. But I don't know the time frame tho.

My hair grew! I had hair fall before and my hair never grew past my collarbones. But now it is done to my ribcage. It is also thicker and straighter. So yeah?

My skin is clearer! I had very bad acne since I was 9 and I had acne scars all over. But it's like smooth now. And I got paler but I don't really know?

So yeah! More to come because creation is finished which means I can see the full results soon. Oh wait, I already have the full results!

I love ice cream cakes! If I had the choice tho, I would choose fudge brownies ♡

OMG I am SO proud of you! <3 This is amazing!! Like, you literally embodied the fact that it’s already done and reality had no choice but to shift. The way your age, height, weight, hair, and skin all changed so seamlessly just proves that LOA works effortlessly when you stop overcomplicating it. And the best part? There’s no limit to what else you can manifest! You’re already seeing how easy it is, so just keep riding this wave of success because you’re unstoppable! Also, fudge brownies are SOOO good, I totally get it.

[thatdeadaquarius]

Hallo! You know who is someone I don’t see many people appreciating? Ganyu! Imagine a neurodivergent creator reader who is the one that finds her when she’s going through one of her crises when she doesn’t know if she belongs with the humans or Adepti and reader can understand her because that’s how they feel as well about life?? And about their old world and sometimes this one??

I feel that they could potentially bond over that and maybe even realize Ganyu is also somewhat neurodivergent in some way?? Or she’s very socially inept in some ways and reader can relate and share in those worries so the two just sometimes sit together shoulder to shoulder and just not say anything and just relax and everyone is confused??? Anyways that’s all for me, keep up the great work! :D

-Bonk anon

GOD, NEURODIVERGENT ASKS, JUST HAVE MY WHOLE HEART IN YOUR HANDS 😭😭🤲🤲💙💙

JUST TAKE IT I DONT NEED IT-

ALSO LESSER ASKED FOR/LESS POPULAR CHARACTERS??

SIGN ME TF UP-

Ahhh, look at her... I would die for her, kill for her... either way, what bliss ✨️

also fuCK mihoyo, she’s fat and beautiful and so thats how she gonna be written. 😤

saw this in my mailbox forever ago and as i was workng thru them, was just like, “damn that Ganyu ask is so close im so excited to write abt her <33”

☆

Sun: Neurodivergent!Reader, Gender Neutral (they/them)

Orbit: tiny scenario +headcanons

Stars: Ganyu, my dearest.

Comets & Meteors: Content Warnings: talk of low self-esteem & Trigger Warnings: talk of low self-esteem, neurodivergent struggles, talk of missing meals (ganyu wants to schedule out her lunch-breaks).

when you’d initially explained to the (actually scarily strong irl) genshin characters who’d been claiming all kinds of wild stuff about you (”The Last Descender! The World Player!”)

you’d been in Liyue at the time, and out of everyone, the first you could see believed you were a mortal on Earth before (and not ruling it 💀) was Ganyu.

She’d looked shocked, like the others, but you could quickly see her get more and mire visibly twitchy and excited as you explained further

(rlly unlike the just,, utter confusion on Xiao’s, Zhongli’s, Shenhe’s, and Cloud Retainer’s faces, so convinced of your divinity there’s no way you could be human- even just acting like one-)

but you did, and Ganyu loved it.

you actually didn’t interact much for the first month you were stuck in a gacha video game (the other alloegenes, gods, adepti, and citizens, including international, pulling you around for opinions on this and that)

But one night you couldn’t sleep (the Qixing provided amble spacious housing in a temple already apparently dedicated to you, one you’d never seen in game)

It’d been… a rough day.

Everywhere you went, miscommunications followed, and you still didn’t really know how to mask properly around these just- well, since they were real, aliens

sure, they mimicked stuff about humans, but not the people/culture you’d mostly been around, (and the adepti had their own code of behavior, which was so complex you’re sure they should’ve made an actual social behavior manual by now)

but you just couldn’t escape the endless cycle, not only that, but your executive function had apparently forgotten to keep up with some important appointments or otherwise things you had needed to get done earlier, so you were scrambling to send a late letter to Fontaine inventors who needed to get the project started in 3 days, which is how long the letter takes to get there, oh gods, and you needed to check on Inazuma, apparently Seirai island is getting lightningy again and the Raiden Shogun wants you in person as soon as possible to aid her with it, but you need to attend a Knights of Favonius meeting in 2 days-

Yeah. You were stressed, and honestly? crumbling under the pressure.

So you’d snuck out of your rooms (dodging the patrolling guards) and went to the office of the one person who knew who’d understand

Ganyu. Scribbling and mumbling in her office to herself, late into the night

She’d jumped at you slipping in without knocking (avoid the Milieth at all costs, even tho ur literally god and you’ve been told you can do whatever you want mostly)

and knocked a whooooollleee stack of papers to the floor, scattering it everywhere 😭

you’d scrambled to start picking them up,, but then she stops you frantically saying “No, no, it’s okay, it’s not a big deal I promise, there’s no need to cry over these silly papers, heaven-sent!”

what??

oh.

oh no.

it’d just been one more thing you’d messed up on top of all of today (and tbh this whole month whirlwind of becoming some kind of god of the continent)

and Ganyu was, Ganyu <3

she was sweet and kind and so overwhelmingly helpful, how could you make a mess of her life too-

“Emperor? Huangdi?”

you’re just sitting on the floor now, but you startle when she gently holds your upper arms, calling your name very softly, so soft if she wasn’t saying you actual name you’d think she was talking to something else, something precious to her

the qilin guides you up, easily supporting your weight, she directs you to her couch, and manuvers you into laying your head across her plush thighs, the half-adepti’s pants aren’t as skin-tight like in-game, they’re actually the cosiest fabric you’ve ever laid on (or maybe that’s just a combination of your fragileness and her thick thighs)

she rubs your shoulder and back, offering a tissue (when did she get that-)

and that’s when you know you’ve chosen your first friend in Teyvat perfectly :)

◇

you sneak out nearly every night for those first few months in Liyue (not including travel, which you tried to limit or you’d both make an excuse why she needed to come with lol)

just to sneak into her office, and you’d nearly cried a second time on her when she offered some notes about both standard human and adepti behaviors (after all, she’s had to study them both to fit into both)

Ganyu learns to do your hair and you do hers 🥺 she can’t bring herself to trust anyone to cut her hair but you, and you always try to do styles that don’t get in her way <3

like buns with a braid wrapped around it, or two space buns (Keqing didn’t say anything but Ganyu gossiped to you about how she could see a little smile on her face whenever she ran into Ganyu that week, obviously cutely thinking how they matched)

While of course the first thing Ganyu did was propose to help you schedule/manage your time so you wouldn’t have to rely on your non-existent executive function-

you’d also made sure to literally plop ur chin over her shoulder to make sure you saw “break” AT LEAST once a day, now that she was incorporating herself a little into ur schedule too (Ganyu fought tooth and nail to get rid of that lunch-break, but then you threatened to also not eat, and she caved so fast LMAO)

(bc she’s a die-hard workaholic ofc she wants this, after you heard abt her schedule in-game you’d thought it was lucky she was not fully human or she would’ve dropped dead, but now even moreso watching that horror in real time 💀)

which!! she!! is so!! (at this point you usually just squeeze her round cheeks a little too hard before then wrapping your arms as far as they can go around her torso and squeezing even harder-)

After a couple of “your trauma 🤝 my trauma” nights, she honestly understood really well where your limits were so to speak, what you could and simply couldn’t do

and was the first one willing to explain to people you have executive dysfunction (and was quick to cut off any “just try harder/pull yourself up by your bootstraps/just believe in yourself” nonsense when if came to your disabilities, even tho those were few and far between moments if any)

afterall, people had expected the same from her, and she frequently fell into that thinking herself (it also didn’t help that as you tried to give her a normal schedule at first, which benefitted her human side more, it felt like the Qixing was stumbling to keep up with the supernatural workload now being distributed)

Ganyu knew it had been your influence originally that helped her when she’d had her workload lightened/then followed by the traveler when she ran off

(and regardless of the truth too, when you’d finally gotten the courage to tell her how you actually interacted with Teyvat, unable to steer actions from what the plot dictated)

she’d still attributed it to you, (”well, you could’ve always just picked up your things and left, yes? But even if it was ‘pre-planned’ like you say, you still wanted to follow through and were… ahem, h-happy for m-me, right?” you’d smacked right into her you stimmed so relieved)

You didn’t exactly know how to explain it, bc everyone was really accepting,

from citizens to nobles, officials and guards, to vision-users, gods and other supernatural beings that inhabited Teyvat

no one judged you for unmasking/stimming, but in that way that meant they didn’t really understand what was different about you, they just knew you were and they’d still decided to treat you with the same adoration anyway

but Ganyu,

she treated you the same but knew what stims you did when you were happy or excited, what ones comforted you, what your latest verbal stims were, and what your “classics” were (u never had to tell her, she just learned them quick and all on her own, bless this woman 🛐 )

Ganyu understood all the good and all the bad and saw you unmasked and still laughed so hard at your jokes she fell into your side and always asked another question about your hyperfixations/interests

you’d quickly realized there were a lot of neurodivergent overlaps between stuff Ganyu did and what you did

(whether or not she herself was, you just assumed yes based on what you researched, but there wasn’t any official testing in teyvat)

it makes more sense to you after applying the neurospicy filter to all her actions why she’s so obsessed with work (she hyperfixates on certain projects the Qixing has going, and has a long-term passive fixation on scheduling/stationary/related office work stuff)

but this also meant you understood why she was always asking for more about you, your mortal world, your time here, where you wanted to go in teyvat, what you wanted to do, how’d you feel when the game did this to someone, what about-?

needless to say you couldn’t (and didn’t have to 🥲) contain your stims at knowing you became a slight hyperfixation for her

she got all embarassed and blushy about it!!! <333😩 (and did that cute thing where she just kinda sways in place holding her hands together when bashful or nervous ✨💔✨)

unrelated to above, but your favorite thing (besides sightseeing or eating at yet another new restaurant in liyue) to do together is go do something childish

like playing children’s games (hopscotch, or hill sliding in ganyus case) from both ur childhoods

u thought itd be a good idea to get Ganyu to relax a little more and have more fun outside her job!

(again, unrelated bc idk im scattered with these headcanons, the cryo user loves when you help her pick new outfits at stores not bc she wants to impress u what)

ok last unrelated headcanon i promise,

Ganyu wasn’t overly affectionate before, honestly she was always going too fast to stop for those kind of casual touches (and when was there time in her old scedule)

but after a month of getting comfortable around each other, she subconciously gets up from her desk (mid-reading a file/carrying it with her lmao)

and sits on her office couch, making room for you to lay on her (and she is the perfect pillow)

(you dont point it out, you know she’ll get too embarassed, and you refuse to lose Ganyu cuddles <3)

☆

im so glad im not the only one who took one look at Ganyu’s problems in life and was like, “damn im neurospicy, ur so right, blue-frosty-magical-half-deer-secretary-woman”

btw it’s on the masterlist “turn on the background music?” but here’s really long playlist I made for sagau stuff!

mostly game music but also other fun songs i hope fit, mostly based of my blog so it’s not dark (as the other playlists under SAGAU search on spotify looked dark too lmao)

Safe Travels Bonk Anon,

💀♒

I mentioned making a kofi before, but I think I’ll start including it in posts too if u guys dont mind!

An iced coffee? For me?? :O

☆

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk / @the-dumber-scaramouche / @chocogi / @fallen-starr / @areaderofbooks

[wat-zu]

BROOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

My brain has been going high speeds for the newest AVA for a bit. And I mean PROPERLY going ZOOM at a hundred miles per hour!!!!

FIRST OFF, THE NEW ANTAGONISTS.....I LOVE THEM SO MUCH.

All of them having unique styles gives ALL OF THEM so much character, PLUS THEY ARE ALL SO BADASS. I love how they aren't taking out quickly, I thought these guys would be fodder but NAHHH they quickly established themselves to be threats which I LOVE. You always need good strong threats to drive stories and these guys are *mwah* chef's kiss. Can't wait to see more of them.

Secondly, Chosen One running to Second Coming when he gets his fucking ass kicked is funny to me. Truly, a lmao moment.

Man I am so EXCITED to see what Alan has cooking up for us, that man has NEVER disappointed me, EVER IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.

Ava spoilers!!

CHOSEN BASICALLY JUST WENT TO HIS LITTLE BROTHER, DROPS TO HIS KNEES AND GO "LIL BRO I'M GETTING MY ASS KICKED PLEASE BEAT THEM UP FOR ME" AND I LOVE IT ASDFGHJKHGFDSDFGHJ

BUT OOH YEAH THAT TALK ABT THE VILLAINS IS LIKE A VERY GOOD POINT!!!! I didn't really realize that they arent small fries because i was so enamoured by the fighting styles, ivm very floored USBSJBSUSBH

BUT yeah holy shit!! Theyvre treated as actual like professional bounty hunters!! I love the portrayal now that i think about it ooohhh!!!!!!!

Ivm at the same boat with you my guy im so excited for what they have in store USBSUSUSBHS

[szaryherbatnik]

Gonna preface this with three things: 1) I am not talking Virgil to you, unfortunately, I am talking Sarnax to you so uhh hopefully that's ok? 2) I have not actually watched/listened to COS I have gotten into it by proxy of fandom so please please please forgive me if the vibes are way off and 3) TWs for minor character death and burning alive 😅

Was listening to Shout Sister (by The Buttress) earlier and parts of the song give the vibes of Sarnax's cult (I forgor what they're called), especially towards the end.

"With my staff and my rod/We'll find peace within/I commit myself to God, leave my cause to him/As the flames lick our bodies/They could tear us limb from limb/Sisters, fix your gaze upwards/Feel no pain on your skin/End is nigh, my body is broken/I go now into the night, to die/Eyes and heart open/Hold the cross high so through the flames I can see/Oh my God, my life, it ends/Pray for me!"

I don't know if they did sacrifices to Gherix, but those are he vibes this gives me. The sacrifice is kneeling as the flame is brought closer, they're chanting and holding some kind of holy object until the flame gets close enough and they're caught in rapture as they see their God before they're engulfed in flame. They scream and scream because it *hurts* until eventually their body lies still as the flames smoulder on.

"It can not take long to die/There will be a little pain, but then it will end" Sarnax remembers the elders saying, telling him their sacrifice it would all be ok. But watching from the crowd, Sarnax realizes it really doesn't sound like a quick death, nor a painless one. He tries to convince himself they were screams of ecstacy, but he can never shake himself of the belief that they were in agony for those few moments. The elders ask why he hasn't been to a sacrifice since. He can't tell them that he spends the time praying fervently to Gherix for forgiveness of the doubts every new sacrifice instills in him.

Idk, maybe I'm just going insane. Sorry for the long af thing

I'm gonna preface my response with two things. 1) it is absolutely alright to not talk virgil to me I am happy to get asks of any kind, sarnax is my lovely, my patron saint, my best friend. I'm always happy to talk about him! 2) the vibes are not way off but for me to properly talk about the vibes im gonna SPOIL A LOT. I MEAN A LOT. ENDGAME SPOILERS. for curse of strahdanya and beneath dark wings actually. ooooh you have been warned !!!

(anon if you dont want spoilers and these are heavy ass spoilers im just gonna say the vibes are pretty much in the right place and the lyrics are very sarnax coded. i highly rec watching cos and bdw to get the full story!)

SO yeah the cult of gherix ABSOLUTELY does sacrifices. As a bit of exposure, the cult is situated below the treetop country of eyrios (populated by owl aarakocra) who are pretty violent towards the people who live below. pretty shitty place from a lot of points of view. and the cult of gherix did sacrifice a lot of the aarakocra to gherix, while collecting tar from the edelwood trees that would eventually be used to burn eyrios. in the last episode of cos it's revealed that sarnax himself killed a child aarakocra as a sacrifice. by then he didnt feel great about it, but a lot of the change within sarnax happened during the expedition, not before, not in the garden, not in the cult.

speaking of sacrifice, especially in the context of this song and this ask, it's hard not to talk about the lizard, the inferno in the room. the ultimate sacrifice IS sarnax who after talking about how hes gonna die and how hes never getting out of barovia DOES sacrifice himself to purge all the evil. but it wasnt the same sacrifice as the ones that happened in the garden. sarnax's final inferno was full of love and before it happened, sarnax experienced a whole lot of beautiful moments. friendship, love, family, spreading kindness. spreading edelwood trees that stand tall in barovia still, after 200 years.

i dont quite know what sarnax's approach was to all the stuff that was happening in the garden. mainly the sacrifices i mean. after all, these actions were a reaction to the abuse the cult of gherix experienced from eyrios. even though his final stance was against sacrificing, i dont doubt that he had spent his whole life thinking it was the right thing to do. and his way of thinking was blessed by gherix.

well. ultimately the cult of gherix is now GONE they all died after trying to burn eyrios down but they got killed by acid rain so. i could talk about this particular moment in a different fucking essay cause i have thoughts about it. but! sarnax's legacy goes on, the edelwood trees still stand, tommy morgan is spreading (or was spreading, he probably died atp) the word of gherix with sarnax's lantern in his hand, the chapel of lathander has a whole shrine dedicated to sarnax and gherix.

sarnax's sacrifice couldn't have been painless. he's sacrificed people (AT LEAST ONE) himself, he's killed people, he knows how painful death it. how painful it is to burn to death. but he did it willingly, the pain was worth it at the end.

(the peace didnt last forever but does that mean that sarnax's death was in vain? no. i dont think so. not after i've seen the tear stained faces of the loa crew, after mike poured so much love in beneath dark wings arc 4. not after i spent hours crying about it, not after seeing andy's reaction to "the burning of the windmill" in eom, not after "a woman mourning her friend")

that being said, i hope that the fucking apocalypse that is happening in bdw currently WILL NOT FUCKING DESTROY THE EDELWOOD TREES IN BAROVIA ILL BE PISSED. MICHAEL IRONING BOARD I WILL REQUEST PAYMENT FOR EMOTIONAL DAMAGE. but even if they do get destroyed... eom has an edelwood tree. not all hope is lost.

i hope this reply is somewhat satisfying though it turned into a whole ass ramble. the song is a banger.

[bil-daddy]

hi mr bildad um im just gonna dump this here since i have no one else to talk to

as someone who has always praised in their ability to be friends with anyone (i also need human interaction to survive btw) ive been feeling very lonely, especially since now are the school holidays.

my best friend (who is one year older than me) is barely online and doesn't take me seriously enough. and when i ask my friend group (with 2 other people my age) if they want to go out nothing happens. ive asked so many times but it's like they just don't want to hang out. and i keep seeing them post everywhere of them having fun with their OTHER friends (i don't know them bc they're from their primary schools; we are in secondary school now). and the obvious solution is to hang out with my primary school friends, right? well awesome news I DONT HAVE ANY.

and like ive just been feeling really really lonely especially today. i don't even text anyone except for my best friend, and even then she doesnt really respond properly because its like i dump a lot of messages and 4 hours later she skims through them, rinse and repeat.

(also side note i used to have another best friend but he ended up having a crush on me and didn't give me space so i kinda ended the friendship bc i wasn't comfortable with it)

during my entire TWO MONTH school holiday i haven't gone out with friends. not even once. while i see everyone else my age having so much fun and enjoying life while i just rot at home scrolling through tumblr.

so yeah im not really having a great time. hopefully when i get back to school in january things will be better

sorry for the long rant

Hey, kid (human). No need to apologize for the long rant. Actually, I've got a lot to say about this topic, too, so take a toilet break, grab a beverage and a snack, then sit down with your deal old Bildaddy (platonic, metaphorical) for a chat.

First off, sorry you're going through this. It hurts a lot when friends start fading away, and you realize they no longer consider you as close and you consider them. Feeling left out and like you don't have any real friends seriously sucks.

But it's actually something every single person goes through at some time or another--though most of us aren't brave enough to admit it like you have, because it feels embarrassing and shameful. Like there's something wrong with you.

There isn't.

There is nothing wrong with you.

Friends come and go, and 99% of the time it has nothing to do with you, or anything you've said or done. It isn't your fault. That doesn't mean it hurts any less, but it isn't your fault.

But that being said, I promise you, for every person you see pictures of having so much fun and enjoying life, there are twenty--probably even more--at home like you, scrolling tumblr, or tiktok, or reddit, or whatever the kids are scrolling these days.

And even those people you see posting pictures, that isn't their everyday life. They post pics of the good times, not the bad ones (well not usually) or the boring ones. Especially not the boring ones. I bet they do more sitting at home and scrolling than you think. They're just not advertising that for all their followers to see.

But that's not the point. The point is (dolphins! goats!) your current friends aren't fulfilling your need for socialization. And that means you need to find some new friends, anon.

You can still stay friends with your best friend and that old friend group. As in, don't send them a message officially ending the friendship, and don't delete and/or block them everywhere. You can still talk to them in school when you see them.

(Do unfollow them on social media if seeing them hang without you is upsetting--or better yet, pause on using social media entirely--except for tumblr, of course--until you're in a better place, mentally and emotionally. Bildaddy deleted instagram five years ago and never went back.)

But starting today, back off on asking these friends to hang out, and sending long text messages to your best friend that she only skims through. They're not matching your energy, so you need to start matching theirs. Either they'll notice the difference and start making more of an effort (no, not that kind), or they won't and they won't. But either way, you'll stop wasting your time.

Next, you take all the energy you were spending on your old friend group and start looking for new friends.

While you're still on winter break, there might not be as many opportunities, but there are some possibilities. Do you have any cousins around your age who might wanna hang out? Or maybe there are local events aimed at teenagers you can attend? Check libraries and community centers. Or on New Year's Eve, there might be some sort of Parents Night Out event you can volunteer for and help babysit a group of little kids, along with other teenagers that you could befriend?

Then, when winter break ends, look around your school for other students who might be in your same situation--and trust me there are others in your same situation. Is there someone who always sits alone at lunch? Or what about that kid in class who's too shy to speak up? Is there someone getting bullied or ostracized? Someone new to the school who hasn't made any friends yet? Look for the ones who might need a friend as much--or even more--than you do and try to befriend them.

It won't always work, no, cause nothing always works. But it will work sometimes. And you only need it to work enough times to make a couple friends. And if you make the right friend, they might have a friend group that you can join.

I know it's really scary to put yourself out there and make the first move. But you'd be surprised how receptive people are, especially the shy ones who are too scared to say 'hi' first, and rely on the braver ones, like you, for the human connection they need. Because we all need it. (Even me. Because I'm totally 100% human.)

Other ways to make friends are clubs, in school and out of school, which is probably what adults will suggest if you ask them, so I'm not going to spend much time on this. But they're right. If you're not already in clubs--academic, sports, art, books, music, anime, whatever your interest(s) is--join some! If there's nothing of interesting at your schools, churches and other local organizations might also have youth clubs and activities, too.

Shared interests in a sure way to make friends. I see it happening all the time on Tumblr. Those mutuals you wish didn't live so far away? Well, you can find mutuals just like them IRL! (Especially if you start or join a book club that reads Good Omens, or a tv show club that watches Good Omens)

Another option is getting a part-time job at a place other teenagers work. If this is something you can do without disrupting your schoolwork, try it. Fast food restaurants, cinemas, places like that.

You say you're someone who has the ability to be friends with anyone? Well, prove it! This isn't a threat, by the way. This is encouragement. I'm encouraging you.

Now go out there and make some friends, kid! I know you can do it! I believe in you, and everybody here is rooting for you.

And, as always, have an ox rib (platonic)

[jascurka]

this is purely out of curiosity and i don't want to send hate your way, but do you ship mob and reigen? and if so, why?

I do, yeah. An ex-friend of mine asked me the exact same question (just more... harshly I think and with what I assumed was prejudice) before they decided to part our ways and I could never properly answer them because I was so stressed by the situation, it was hard to gather my thoughts. So I'll do my best to explain here, hopefully to make myself understood better.

Sorry if this gets lenghty >_< I'll just put a readmore right here.

I think the biggest reason for why I like them is their canon relationship that has been explored in the series already quite thoroughly - that they have changed eachother, helped eachother grow and one wouldn't be the person they are without the other. I think most of us understand the depth of it. Reigen is Mob's teacher and friend, someone like an older brother. There surely is a strong bond between them and they've seen each other at their best and worst and still acknowledged and accepted eachother's flaws. They trust eachother, they would give their life for eachother even (at least Reigen would, he almost did in the finale after all). And I do think that they love eachother but in a way that isn't actually romantic in canon. I'm perfectly capable of realizing that and I value it a lot both in the series and in fanworks (one of my fav works of fanfiction is about exactly that).

It was my curiosity that made me search up a ship fic of them, I was just confused why people ship them in the first place and whether it can be good and I found myself enjoying it a lot (to my surprise). It was set into the future, and dealt with some serious topics like loss and acceptance, it was kind of bittersweet. Then I felt that maybe it was just slightly ooc because all of the serirei fics I was busy reading depicted Reigen slightly different. Nontheless, I had the other ship on my mind then so I never really dived into Mob/Reigen, but it changed my perspective on them a lot.

And at some point into all this I realized, why not? Why can't I haz 2 cookies? (god im sorry that was terrible sfjgsdkj). What I mean is that the buildup canon offers can be taken further - more of their relationship can be explored in terms of new tropes, sometimes romantic too.

On a personal note I'll just add that I'm rather picky about them and tend to stick to fluff, hurt/comfort and slow slow burns. And I like them most post-canon, a few years into the future. It turns out that it all depends on how they're portrayed for me to like them anyways. I talked on here recently about a work that really had it all and portrayed their relationship in a very satisfying and mature way, with all the complicated feelings, it felt very realistic, especially on Reigen's side. So if anyone wants, here's a rec from me again -> in my dreams (I seem to be more honest) on ao3, just because I think it has all that I like about the ship.

I think that this is the whole point of fanworks - to kind of look further and have fun with it, to see "what if?". Even if it's something sort of.. taboo I guess? Because you get to take it apart in a fictional dimension (if that makes sense). And I completely understand if this is something that can ick some people out or that someone doesn't want to ruin their perception of the characters' relationship. That's totally fine by me and I'm not going to force anyone into liking the ship of course. And there are definitely tropes and tags I really don't want to look into - not everything is for me either.

And I think this goes without saying but I'll add it here anyways: what I like to see in fiction doesn't mean I would like or encourage anyone to do the same thing in real life! It's just interesting to explore from a safe distance where no one can get hurt.

[gaywriterthings]

Hiii it's ask wave time~ who are ten of your favorite characters? They could all be from Bob's Burgers, or a mix! Don't worry it doesn't have to be ranked in order, and it doesn't even have to be ten if you don't want! Just who stands out to you?

omg hello! such a great question i could honestly spend hours answering (and i lowkey might have considering how long it took me to respond mb), i deeply apologize for the very lengthy response awaiting you

i'm gonna do my favs fandom by fandom cuz i wouldn't at all be able to actually rank them, lol

starting with Bob's Burgers:

tina's my #1 fav, always will be. she's so sweet and so nice, but she's also got anxiety and she's awkward and bad at math all just like me. alongside her just being absolutely hilarious, my favorite part of her character is the fact that no matter how sweet and nice she is, she's still so sassy and can deliver the hottest burns out there. the fact that she's one of the nicest characters on the show makes those burns sting so much more than louise's ever could, and i just love her so much.

and bob's my 2nd fav. i don't know if i can properly explain why i love him so much, i just do. he's not only one of the best husbands and fathers on tv (if not THE best), but he's also just awkward and funny so much like his daughter. i just love him.

as for minor characters, sasha is my ABSOLUTE favorite and anyone who knows me knows how much i love him. he's funny, he's zesty, yeah he's a rich kid but he's not a total snob at all. he helps out the belchers! they didn't ask for his help in "House of 1000 Bounces," he just helped them. he agreed to help them in "What About Blob?" at first to get back at glenncrest, but gene and his true purpose got through to him in the end. next to him is sam, and i love him so much cuz he's just me. his anxiety, the way he talks. he's just so real. i've never seen a character w anxiety reflect my own so well. also, the cheese episode??? i absolutely love that kid

The Amazing World of Gumball

gumball's my #1 fav, 100%. sure he's a menace to society and has committed many many crimes including selling somebody's parents, but there's so so much to his character and i just can't help but absolutely love him. he might have a handful of flaws, but who doesn't? above all, he's just a boy who loves his family and friends. he's a good kid. he cares about those he loves a lot, and he'll honestly stop at nothing to make sure they're okay. he's such a good big brother, so incredibly protective of his little sister that he went so far as to (attempt to) poison someone cuz he thought they were being a bad friend to her. he's also clever as hell, no matter how much he's told that he's stupid. delving into his mental health can be really interesting, there's a lot to him. also he's ABSOLUTELY hilarious

ROB, DUDE. ROB. with zero exaggeration, i can say that he is my absolute favorite antagonist from literally anything ever. he is THE anti-villain. and he's just a kid. with such a tragic story. i've spent so long analyzing his character for my fic, and i could honestly talk forever about him. i love him so much that i'm struggling to write this reasoning because there's just so much i could say. just... rob dude

a couple honorable mentions really quick. penny, of course, is my fav non-watterson behind rob. she's such a nice girl but she's also sassy as HELL and won't take any shit from anybody. i love her so so much for that, and she's also got a lot going on mentally that i don't see people talk about (ie The Shell & The Transformation). she's def such an interesting character

anais has become my second favorite watterson recently for a slew of reasons, but richard's definitely become a worthy contender, and as i write this im realizing i might like richard more so let's say they're tied lol. yes he's funny and lowkey relatable ("I either need some food or some therapy. Eh, chips are cheaper") and he's that "dumb fat dad" stereotype but that's not all he is and he even breaks some of those norms- there's even an episode that gives a real REASON as to why he's dumb! but there's just so so much more to his character that i feel like i never hear anybody talk about, and i am that man's #1 defender. of course he's not a perfect father, nobody's perfect, but he's a damn good one. his father wasn't at all, and richard wanted to make sure he didn't make the mistakes he did, and he's proven that the cycle CAN be broken. richard loves nothing more than his family. his favorite thing in the world is to be a father, and he wants absolutely nothing more than happiness for his kids and will stop at absolutely nothing to make sure they're happy. there's literally an episode where richard left the house the SECOND he realized gumball was in a bad mood to go buy him something to cheer him up. and he doesn't think he's good enough! but he is!!! and gumball darwin and anais love him so much! not to mention all he's done for nicole without even realizing. they're the loves of each others lives, they're soulmates, there's literally an episode proving how they were meant to be, and he's such a great husband too. he has so much love to give. there's an episode proving that too! he's so sweet and loving and happy and anyway yea i've spent a lot of time analyzing richard's character as well lol i love him very much

SpongeBob SquarePants

i think spongebob's become my favorite over the years, but it's really hard to say when the show's been on for 25 years and the writers like to change his personality depending on the season. if we're talking silly little guy who sees the good in everyone and has so so so much love to give and is THE most loyal friend there is and is lowkey so funny and isn't entirely immature and childish and annoying like a handful of seasons make him out to be, then yeah, he's prob my fav.

but plankton!!! he's my favorite too. there is SOOOO much to his character that i've spent so so long thinking about, even more so with the recent release of the plankton movie (which is INCREDIBLE and gave me the final pieces i needed to do a complete deep dive on planktons life and character if i wanted to). like rob, i've could talk about plankton forever too, so i'll leave it at this: yes he's a supervillain, but he wasn't always, and even though he WILL always be one, he still has SUCH a soft side lmao what a loser. for his dog and his wife

The Simpsons

like rob and plankton, i could talk FOREVER about bart. he has always been and always will be my favorite. he's done some not great things over the years, but the show's been on for 36 of them so i can ignore a lot of it lol. there is just SO SO SO SO much to his character. SO much. surprise surprise i've spent absolutely forever analyzing him too. he's funny he's stupid he's mean but he can also be such a great brother and friend, and he loves his family and friends so so much, and he CAN be smart and he CAN be nice and i just LOVE him. also, he's an artist! and his mental health is SUPER SUPER interesting to dive into and omg how much i could say!!

i think marge is my 2nd fav simpson. she's just so sweet. and such a good mother. and funny. my two fav supporting characters are milhouse and moe, milhouse for so many reasons, cuz he's dorky and silly and funny and a grand total of ONE character cares about him. so unlike the rest of the characters, i just love him!! who couldn't! and moe's not only funny but also all the guy wants is people who care about him... and he doesn't realize that he already has so many who do. take episodes like "Moe Baby Blues," "Eeny Teeny Maya Moe," and "The Wayz We Were" and you'll see why i love him as much as i do. and he also reads to children at hospitals!!! he can be such a nice and caring guy despite everything

[disneyanddisneyships]

write pain

I mean the breakup

HAHAHAHAHHA

Warnings: self harm, Aponi being a bit of a jerk kinda sorta.. lots of angst

Summary: aponi realizes a bit too late that she's in love with alastor.

Aponi set down her phone, the page open to a text chain.

Zach🖤: Hey Lills! You wanna go out tonight? I know a nice restaurant that just opened up! No strippers or anything. Just a regular restaurant.

Lilly: uhhhh yeah.... sure. What time?

Zach🖤: I was thinking maybe around 8. Does that work for you?💕

Lilly: yeah. See you then.

Aponi stood up, wlaking to her closet.

She had met Zach almost a year ago by now. He was super sweet and kind, and he probably shouldn't have even ended up in hell. But he wasn't Alastor.....

'No. No. Wipe those thoughts Lillian.' She thought to herself as she scanned through her clothes.

Alastor only needed her once a month for sex. He's never shown any interest in her besides that...... at all.....

Aponi got dressed into an orange pencil dress, the Locket Zach had given her around her neck.

She did her best, using her makeup to cover the permanent bruise around her neck and making sure her hair covered her right eye properly.

She walked downstairs, earning a teasing whistle from Angel Dust.

"Damn gurl. Where are you going?" He asked with a raised eyebrow.

Aponi glanced at alastors... was he.. staring at her? No. No. It was her eyes playing tricks.

"I um.. have a date tonight actually," Aponi replied with a small smile.

"Oh with that Zach kid, right?" Husk asked as he took a swig of his drink.

"Yeah.... I should be off. Don't wait up," she stated before shuffling out into the street, waiting for Zach to get there.

Speak of the devil.

Zach got out of his car, opening the passenger door for Aponi.

"You look beautiful, Lilly," he stated with a small lovestruck smile before closing the door And getting on the driver's side.

"I brought you a small gift as well!" He stated as he dug through his car, giving her a small box.

"Earrings? They're gorgeous!" Aponi exclaimed as the orange melded into the black.

"I saw them and I knew you had to have them!" Zach stated with a smile before driving off.

........

Once the two were seated Zach started talking about the menu and what she wanted.

Aponi glanced around, seeing all th happy couples who seemed to be in love... which is more than she could say for herself with Zach. Nowadays the only person she ever looked at with such eyes was alastor.

Wait.

'Am I in love with alastor?' She thought to herself.

She was pulled away from her thoughts.

"Lilly? Hey, babe. You okay?" Zach asked as he took her hand.

" ...... i...... I'm not in love with you," She muttered.

Zach's eyes widened. "W-... what?"

"I'm not in love with you, Zach.... im... I'm so sorry..." she stated again.

"But.... Lilly... I-...... i... I bought.... a ring," he stated, his soul practically breaking in front of her as he pulled out another velvety box.

"Zach...... I.... I don't know what to say.. i-i... I dont love you," Aponi stated again.

"But.... why?" He asked.

"Im.. in love with someone else..... I'm so sorry......" Aponi replied, not making eye contact.

Zach took a deep breath, moving her face up to look at him.

"I can't say that I'm not angry, or heartbroken... but Lilly, all I want is for you to be happy..... cmon... I'll drive you home," Zach stated as he stood up, aponi close behind.

..........

The ride back was.... quiet.... Aponi could tell he was mad, but not once did he blow up at her or lose his temper. And aponi appreciated that.

The car stopped in front of the hotel.

"I uh... wish you the best.. Aponi...." he muttered.

Aponi got out of the car.

"I-" she was cut off by him driving away.

Aponi sighed and walked into the hotel, only husk sitting at the bar.

"Where's alastor?" Aponi asked as she played with the locket around her neck.

"Think he went out with a gurl from cannibal colony. Why?" Husk asked.

And there it was.

The very thing Aponi had dreaded....

She lost 2 good men in one night.

As she walked upstairs without another word, tears began to drip from her eyes as she ran into the bathroom, taking out a razor blade and hurting herself.

How could she be so stupid? Of course The Radio Demon wouldn't want her...... and she tossed away the only person who would.....

[daydreaming-scheming-demon]

christianity is a very strange topic for me. im an atheist, but i was raised a christian. and when you hear that, unless you’re a traditional christian, you might think id left due to how bigoted and hateful christians can be. and that i might have religious trauma. and they can be that. whenever i hear how someone left the religion it’s always something along the lines of “i stopped believing in god when christians told me god hated me.”

now dont get me wrong, my childhood was VERY fucking traumatic. and i did hate going to church and having a christian studies class in school. but im not really sure if i have religious trauma to be exact. because the truth is, most of the christians i met in my life have been very kind to me and accepting of me, even if a little ignorant. they gave me zero reason to ever leave the faith.

i left because the ideas that christianity presented simply never fit with my worldview. even when i was a christian, they didnt fit into my worldview, i simply believed because it was the only beliefs presented to me and i hadnt yet properly examined them. but the moment i decided to randomly think deeper about the beliefs i began realizing they dont make any sense to me. for me it doesnt feel like i left the religion due to hate, it feels like me leaving was just a natural part of my personal growth that was always going to occur at some point regardless of circumstances.

so relating to and talking with other ex-christians about christianity has always been weird to me, because they usually always have some kind of religious trauma, and it was usually other christians that caused them to drop the beliefs. and i cant really relate to that very much. so it’s always weird seeing them talk about all this when if they asked me about my experiences id just be like “yeah um, they actually treated me pretty fine.”

this isnt supposed to be a defence of christian fundamentalists or anything, im just writing down some thoughts.

[bunny-heels]

giant vent post.

i think ive reached an actual breaking point. i havent had a breakdown this bad in such a long time and it stills feels horrible now as it did back then. i cant really think properly, not straight at least anyway. im going to ramble on and probably have a really hard time connecting everything together. but whatever.

at some point in my teens i developed a hyper self awareness. i would have that part of my brain that always thought rationally, like it was made up of a court of people or was some sort of other entity entirely. its always aware of what i was doing, if im doing something stupid, out of anger, irrational, selfish. its the "adult" part. it knows better than me, it knows right from wrong. and its not even like a "voice in the back of my head" or anything. its a very vocal and very upfront part of my brain thats there all the time. and it still is as im writing this. its never left.

my self awareness is really, really strong. it is pretty much my personal therapist. i think ive been through so much mental trauma in my life that my brain has just developed this as a safety net or firewall or whatever. and i mean it works a lot. only time it doesnt is when im really really depressed. like close to actually self harming or making a plan to kill myself levels.

i remember when i tried self-harming once, using really shitty dull scissors. that self-aware part of my brain was there the whole time, kept telling me this was a bad idea, there was no point in doing it and it would only hurt me and my loved ones if i succeeded in actually causing damage. i heard it the entire time. but i still went through with it and tried so hard to get through my own skin. i couldnt and i finally gave into the self aware and realized i shouldve listened to it sooner cause yeah, its not worth it to hurt myself just to regret it later.

my self awareness knew better like it always does. and like i said, its basically my therapist now. i barely even vent anymore because of it. i used to vent and rant a lot. i did it weekly pretty much because i had my little spaces where i thought i could let my emotions out and then i'd be able to go along with my day. then i had a friend of mine be passive aggressive towards me once because i guess they finally got sick of seeing of my rants on their timeline. and even my own mom told me i shouldnt be talking and showing my sensitive side so much online. then my stupid autism mistook someones joke for being real and i got so embarrassed i tried my best to seem like i was talking about someone else. and then i made friends with people where all they would do is rant and vent and rant and vent and rant and vent. and i got so, so tired of it to the point where i wanted to try everything i can to not be like them.

after that i barely ever ranted or vented again and only did it on very very very few occasions and only in places my friends could see. but every time i felt my emotions grow, my self aware side will just come in and be rational.

"dont think much about what these people online are doing, you know theyre just hateful and spiteful. theres no point in wasting your thoughts and emotions on them. do something you like instead."

"yeah the world is horrible right now. there are children dying and families being torn apart and innocent people being put through torture. and you feel guilty that you cant help them or that you dont deserve to be sad because youre not the one going through it. but its okay to be sad about people you dont know or how bad the world gets, and you dont need to justify your sadness. you know its different for everyone."

"you're reasonably upset about this thing, youre getting angry and there being no progress made is just making your mood worse. but font blow up. you know better than to yell at the people who dont and you dont want it to seem like youre annoyed with them or that you dont care. anger doesnt solve anything. you need patience and to be understanding. you shouldnt act extreme unless the situation really calls for it. then its justified."

if i have an urge to vent, i'll vent to my self awareness. if i get angry, my self awareness will calm me down. if i'm confused, my self awareness will look at everything it can. if i'm doing something i shouldn't, my self awareness lets me know. if i get bad impulses, my self awareness keeps me under control. my self awareness knows best. its the better half of me. its the part of me that i wish i could fully be 24/7. but i just cant.

and to be honest, my self awareness is also my enemy.

"i know you feel like venting but, look at all the problems these other people have. you dont need to talk about your problems with anyone. just use your brain and you'll be fine."

"theres already someone in this group that brings the mood down all the time. they talk negative about themselves and their life. you already feel bad for not being able to do anything. why add on to the list of people who cry and complain? you cant take care of your own issues just fine."

"is this the best time to be going to this person to vent and rant? i mean you have no idea what theyre doing right now. they could be busy, they could be in a good mood and you dont wanna bring them down. what if they dont even want to hear about your problems right now? its best if you just figure it out yourself for now. youre smart, you dont need other people when you already know what to do."

i remember in late elementary and during my whole middle school years, my mental health was the lowest its ever been. during middle school, almost every day was the same. i'd have an okay or mediocre time at school, i'd come home, feel relief for a bit and maybe hang out with friends, then all the sudden this wave of sadness flowed through me. it would hit hard and all at one. i would always have to get away from my computer, climb into bed, and cry. sometimes it was over something that happened at school, sometimes over something online, sometimes something at home, and sometimes for no reason. but it would always happen. no matter what.

i isolated myself when i cried. i hated people seeing or hearing me cry or tear up. i would get made fun of for crying in elementary school, whether if it was from bullying or having issues with class or the teacher. i was and am still really really sensitive. and i was always treated terribly every time i showed it. so when i got emotional or upset, i hid myself away. no one gets bothered by me and i get bothered by no one. eventually after learning some things about psychology and getting a bit of therapy, my brain trained on that and i learned to deal with my emotions all by myself. i didnt need to talk to anyone anymore, no more making someone feel bad or having my problems be ignored or getting made fun of for my emotions. from now on all my problems stayed my problems.

but i dont know how long i can keep going like this. i can rationalize a situation, i can regulate my emotions, i can do things at my own pace and never have to worry about burdening someone or myself ever again. im doing it all myself. im doing it alone.

i dont want to do it alone anymore.

i want to talk to people about my problems again. i want to rant and vent and ramble and scream about things that piss me off and make me upset. i wanna yell while i rant to my friends about something that made me angry. i wanna vent about having a shitty day. i wanna be able to message a friend and tell them i feel like shit. i wanna be able to call a friend while crying and saying that i wish things were better. i wanna be able to talk about how much the world sucks. i wanna have moments where i talk shit about myself, talk about how im a miserable piece of shit and that i dont deserve to be loved and cared for. i dont deserve friends or family, i dont deserve nice things, i dont deserve to have fun, or have medicine, or have people listen to me, or care about me. i wanna scream that i dont matter and that no one cares about me.

and all i want after that is just someone to hug me.

i dont want to hear rational explanations about the world, or about how life and feelings work, or how the human brain works, or how fair and unfair things can be. i dont want cold hard truth. i dont want blunt. my brain already does it for me. i know im being irrational, i know im just upset, i know im just depressed, i knows things are unpredictable and that life isnt a straight path and that not everything is simple and things cant be fixed that easily and that theres always gonna be hard moments and i just have to accept it. i know. i know i know i know.

just please. i just want a moment to he comforted.

i want someone to listen. i want someone to sit there in silence as they hear my begs and pleads. i want them to not say anything as i scream about how terrible everything is. i want them quiet as i complain that life is awful and things should be easier. i dont want them to interrupt while i talk shitty about myself and call myself a horrible person. i dont want them to talk. i want them to listen. i want them to hear me when i cry and listen when i go on and on and on.

and when im finally finished speaking, and im gasping for air as my throat is all raspy from how much and how high ive spoken, and my face is red and i have a massive headache and my eyes and cheeks are soaked in tears and my whole body hurts, i just want them to get up, be right in front or next to me, and hug me.

i want them to wrap their arms around me and squeeze me tight against them. for them to put their hand on the back of my head and on my mid back and stroke both of them. for them to put my face in the croak of their neck. and to just hear them breath and whisper

"its okay. everything will be okay."

and i'll cry again. i'll cry so hard my whole face will hurt. my eyes will be bloodshot, my face is hot and bright red, my nose is snotty and runny, my whole body is tired, i look like a disheveled mess. and i'll cry into their neck. i'll let it all out.

and i want them to be okay with that. i want them to let me let go. i want them to let me have my moment of breaking down. and when im tired from it all, i want them to soothe me and tell me that everything will be okay. that im not a bad person, that im not ugly, that its okay that im sensitive, that im not a burden, that i deserve to be loved and cared for, that its okay for me to cry, its okay for me to have these moments of weakness, that im not alone, that its okay for me to let it out.

that i dont have to care of myself anymore and theyll be there for me no matter what.

i'll have them and they'll have me.

but even now when im getting close to finishing this, feeling like i finally have let myself have a moment of vulnerability.

that voice comes back, it creeps in at the last few words.

"you do have people that care about you. of course theyre there for you. you know you have people that care. dont pretend they dont exist."

they do exist.

i know they exist.

but

what if theyre busy.

[m1ckeyb3rry]

That’s a good idea….will start check marking….. I’m also realizing I think part of the problem was I actually do press send sometimes but if the connection is spotty and I don’t realize I close out tumblr and then it never ends up fully loading/sending properly….

SHSHS I cant imagine that’d be comfortable with the dizziness…well uh..at least it’s over now!! Haha…..

OUUU wait that’s a good take…..it’s kinda funny I think I remember Isagi and Yuta having the same mbti too?? Not sure how accurate the typing actually is but I thought that was funny LOL but IM CRYING LMAOOOO you really said I need some spice in my life let’s switch it up

Honestly I would not be surprised if that ended up being the case like….after every single time we’ve manifested something into existence I’d be more surprised if it didn’t get manifested into reality LMAO

SHEGSHS every now and then I think about how I’m blowing up your inbox but omg another special tag I’m so honored LOL hope the ideas prove useful for when you’re in a slump!!

AHAHAHA atp trying to guess your final wc should just be a game im sure its at least mildly frustrating for you but I can’t lie every time it happens I chuckle a bit especially when you post it with that one ant meme LMFAOOA

Oh em gee very excited!! Whenever that comes out im gonna reread part 1 to refresh first LOL it’s ok we gotta give our man a break from being protag he’s been going through it LMAOAO between getting insulted by the love of his life in fwtkac the whole freaky Friday conflict and now bfb where he’s been pining since he could walk I

Gotta bless the other sectors of the fandom with your work….give them a taste of your writing then they’ll discover your blog read the Karasu fics and join Karasu nation…that’s the end goal LMAO atp you’re just overseeing all of bllknation covering every base

Hsjshsj glad it went well!! Struggle because of motion sickness I assume? Manifesting very hard that that goes away soon…

GAGAMARU AND YUKI LMAOOO ok that’s a pair I was not expecting ngl it’s ok it’s the power duo one blind one and one with super vision /j actually I feel like that’d be really funny like…since yuki is also a model he has such a refined vibe and as we know is very well mannered while gagamaru spends a lot of the time in the woods in the wilderness fighting bears or something LOL such opposite vibes

Yeah…like I get the shock factor thing but tbh to me that still doesn’t “justify it” to me LOL like it was just so sudden?? And there’s still so many holes like how’d she suddenly just appear good as new minus the one eye…no I fully agree like it was so random, not lead up not even a hint from the past what like 30 chapters?? Like they really just decided to throw her back into the ring at the last second….like we haven’t seen her since Shibuya arc and she somehow just spawned back like make it make sense…..tbh I think the “shock my readers” thing is such a gege thing to do :,) considering all the other comments we’ve heard from him LMAO but yeah the execution was not it……jjk fandom is also scary I see people getting eaten alive for “hot takes”

LMAO safe from kaiserism today…tbh I can’t see myself actually converting BUT the compass >>> the whole animal shelter dog scene was Lowk so cute I love the use of the dog’s own background in paralleling kaiser’s own situation! But that line “she’s my mother but I’m not her son” LITERARY GENIUS but also I’m crying when they talk about marriage and a wedding I’m fr just imagining ness just standing there alone on kaisers side something about the scene just seems so funny to me

- Karasu anon

tumblr is so glitchy sometimes i can’t even blame you 😔 the amount of times i’ve thought i posted something and didn’t or someone will send an ask and i just won’t get a notification for it??? same with dms and then people think i’m ignoring them but that’s not my intention at all 😭💔

yess they do have the same mbti!! and so does hiori apparently 🤔 tbh i tend to like characters who are sassier because they’re more like me so they’re easier to write/connect with (asshole karasu 🤝 asshole mira) but realistically in a relationship you can only rlly have one person like that the other needs to be nice or else it’s just stressful 😭 irl whenever i meet people who match my freak toooo well i get annoyed because like why are we only being mean to each other but when people start to get too moral abt it it’s like “oh it was never that deep” LMAOAAO there needs to be a happy medium of someone who finds it funny and can throw a jab or two out there when necessary but for the most part they’re just chilling 😩 which lowkey IS isagi (and hiori) now that i think abt it but NOOOO if i convert to isagism what will become of me

HFJDJSSJ okay random kiyora headcanons speedrun (kaneshiro if you’re watching these are fire pls include them in the manga): he ran cross country for one year during the soccer off season and he liked it because he could listen to music during races but it wasn’t competitive enough for him so he quit, he’s lowkey fire at either knitting or crochet but no one knows (he’s not shy abt it though it’s just that no one talks to him for long enough to realize), and he got a pet umbrella cockatoo after watching the movie rio in theaters

NO I LOVE GETTING THE NOTIFICATION YOU SENT AN ASK it’s so fun to read them 🥹 and PLSS honestly it’s less frustrating and more just like 😨 whenever the word count gets crazy long because for the most part i’m just happy to be providing 😩 the only thing that worries me is when i take too long writing smth rlly long and people think i’m on hiatus 😭 like no i’m still here it’s just that this one shot is now novel length so…

okay wait genuinely multiple people have been converted to karasu nation because of me LMAOAOA especially bfb and fwtkac…honestly it’s a role i’m proud to play 🤩🙏🏻 but yes atm i need to expand my outreach/not make karasu suffer any longer he’s been through it in the miraverse as of late 😟 i’m excited for cherry tree pt2 i think it’s probably going to be shorter but very cute 🥹 which yk cute and rin don’t necessarily go together very naturally given how he is but trust i will make it work 🤩

HEAR ME OUT GAGAMARU AND YUKI / TARZAN AND JANE AU LMAOOOOO no it’s so perfect hold on i’m going to edit a screen cap of it once i’ve responded to this why does it fit uncannily well…i’ve convinced myself gagamaru and yuki besties number one bllk duo forget bachisagi or kunigiri or nagireo or tabieita or whatever 🥱 gagayuki the ONLY pair i care about (and karasu + shidou they’re cool too)

i completely agree although i’ve already seen people on all corners of the internet calling people who are dissatisfied with it brain dead or without reading comprehension/media literacy…that’s just how it’s going to be ig 😓 jjk to me has this problem where it’s simultaneously overhated AND overrated 🤔 because people do not realize there is a middle ground!! like no it’s not the worst manga ever and there are several high points + on the whole it is better written than several other animangas especially shounen ones however it is NOT peak fiction and it is definitely not the best thing to come out in recent times!! like people don’t realize you can criticize it and still not bash it/gege completely 😒 also i have to say it…a manga being popular ≠ good idk WHY that’s such a popular argument but things can be popular without being well written!! look at any number of ya dystopian novels from the 2010s for proof 😭 nobody’s denying that jjk is popular it’s just that that doesn’t automatically make it the best thing ever…i saw someone on tik tok say that a lot of jjk fans confuse hype moments/panels with good writing and i do think that that’s the case at times 🫣 but what do i know lol

tbh smth abt kaiser’s fuck ass haircut turns me off rlly bad like maybe if he still had the shaggy blond going on or if he put it in a bun more often i’d see the appeal but the rat tails are not it 😰 and LMAOAOAO PLSSS kaiser’s side at the wedding is just ness and noel noa (he was paid to be there) and both of them are just like 😐😐 the whole time HAHAHA they are not into it at all…maybe kaiser was onto smth when he said that they should just get married without any guests because imagine how awk it would be otherwise 😭

[rambles-of-mine]

Today I got a moth tattoo.

It was a weird experience at first cause the tattoos I’m used to do are pretty small compared to this one, so my anxiety was on level explosive diarrhea if that makes sense.

Im not gonna lie I was also excited to do this tattoo since it was going to be a cover for an old tattoo that I wanted to get rib of, I didn’t connect with it anymore cause it reminded me of my past self and well like everybody, people tend to change throughout the time, their beliefs, their personalities, their likes, their behavior towards certain situations, their way of thinking, their way of communicating with others, their bad sense of style back when they were still in middle school and didn’t know how to match tops and bottoms and also never heard of color coordination.

Everybody changes and that’s good, and I know that talking about something that’s gonna be permanent on your skin is a lot of hypocrisy on my part but that is also part of the experience, knowing that something you did in the past doesn’t define you anymore is a very big step into knowing the new version of yourself, it’s like a clue to a new chapter of a book, in this case we can call this chapter: “don’t be sad go get a tattoo, again.” And move on to another part of your life!

People always tend to annoy me with that topic “oh no! You got a tattoo?! Do you realize that’s permanent?!”

“Yeah no shit Sherlock, no I was just messing with you I made this with a sharpie 5 min ago inside that public restroom, just to look cool. It’s a dragon btw, I know it’s looks more like a raccoon but it’s just because I didn’t pay attention during art classes.”

This is a great answer to that stupid question, like do you think I paid almost with my kidney just to come off 3days later?! I know I’m messed up but not that much, chill.

Anyways the point of this blabbering is that I really enjoyed the tattoo, it covered the other one perfectly and I’m in love with it, the point of doing a moth tattoo was because of a video on tik tok explaining the meaning of moths, if your not into spiritual things then stop reading but if you are welcome bestie, have a cup of tea let’s talk:

So apparently, moths have a deeper meaning that I have imagined and I only discover this in the beginning of this year, moths are a representation of finding the light in the darkness, since they are nocturnal creatures and they follow the light of the moon or the light inside your house, it’s a way to guide them and with out it they cannot fly properly, that is why when a moth is close to a light bulb they tend to go around in circles cause it’s their only light source, I don’t know if what I’m saying here it’s 100% accurate but I guess it’s something like this. So basically moths are very misjudged and not seen with good eyes but for me I think they’re very cute and beautiful.

“Moths are often symbolic of positive transformation because they fly in the dark of night towards light. In some traditions, moths are seen as a symbol of a holy union of light and dark needed for a soul's transformation.” The funny part of this is months before I did my tattoo a encounter three moths inside my house which is not very rare in my area, one them I found in my front door actually, and the most weird part it was during the day, it’s commonly known that they only appear at night so it was very strange.

It was the first time that something like this has ever happened to me before and I took has a sign to do this tattoo, not only because I wanted to cover the other one so bad but also it kinda matched my current state of life, I have been through some rough times during 2023 and also the beginning of this year, so seeing a moth so many times when my life is getting better day by day is something that warms my heart, it’s saying that not everything is lost and there’s a light in the darkness, just like that Scorpions song:

🎶“This is the time for yourself to be free

You gotta follow your heart

This is the time in your life and it's never too late

To see the light in the dark

You gotta follow your heart”🎶

Damn that shit hits hard.

But yeah this was just to share my happiness with my new moth tattoo and also to say that not everything is doomed, we all have a dark era but we also have a slay era, we are the light and the dark in one body and we need this union to grow and become a better version of ourselves.

Now go out there and slay your enemies with your smile periodtttt!!!!

(I’m watching to many Caseoh’s videos)

[snuggles-and-struggles]

Here now. Originally I planned to actually have bits n pieces of Stretch (and maybe Edge's) lives going on around them woven in w/ the convos n what they're doing while talking. I wanted to play up Edge as genuinely being kinda sus to Stretch a little in the beginning but coming to trust him when he realizes Edge is just weird lol <3 (- indicates an emoji)

I do hope to write this properly some day! But not right now lol

•

And you don’t think looking for romance online is a bit, I don’t know, temerarious?

‘temerarious'

seriously man what planet are you from

besides

whats any less “””temerarious””” than going out with someone you just met??

It’s reckless in more than one way.

ahhh i see

you’re talking about like

catfish and stuff

Manipulation is also significantly easier when handled remotely.

speaking from experience?

You’ll need to clarify; I don’t know which direction to be offended in.

well if you’ve got any better ideas i’m all ears

I thought you’d mentioned being a skeleton monster?

yeah??

Then I’d hardly say you’re ‘all ears’.

aha

aha ha ha

you’d kill it at your local comedy club

Thank you.

As for advice I’d give, I’d be inclined to suggest focusing more on yourself instead, so I’m not the ideal person to ask about romance.

bad at romance, pro at suggesting ways it could fail!

i gotcha

You don’t need to be a mechanic to know smoke shouldn’t come up from under a car’s hood.

you make a fair point

still

id kinda just like…knowing

ya know?

I don’t think I do. What do you mean?

knowing like…

its not me

ive tried irl dating and mingling and “putting myself out there” a ton of times

but it never goes anywhere

not to sound *too* desperate but i just want to know that at least someone out there could like me enough to stick around for more than a couple weeks

What about friends?

you were not joking about not being a romantic huh

its different dude

I’ll take your word for it.

For what it’s worth I’ve found this conversation enjoyable.

You’re clever and amusing, even if you’re also rude.

-

can i put that in my bio

best review ive ever gotten

I don’t like using emoticons, but you should know I just rolled my eyes.

-

i thought you said youre a skeleton monster too?

-

pretty sure i felt another eye roll through the force

Amendment: eyelights.

you have eyelights?

You don’t?

touché

i do not

what do they look like? are they white??

The way you asked that makes me hesitate to answer.

-

theres a skeleton monster who regulars a coffee shop i live by

has white eyelights

we’ve never talked but thought this might be a wild coincidence

Sorry to disappoint, but no, they are not white.

alas

can i ask what color they are or is that too sus for you too

Imagine your favorite color. My eyelights are whatever the opposite of it is.

and you say /im rude

That wasn’t rude, I’m fairly certain that was what they refer to as a “joke”.

uh huh

they must not be very funny then

Point in case: rude.

alright wise guy

how about this

(They go on to exchanging and ranking each other’s jokes and burns for about an hour before Edge ultimately signs off. Stretch is feeling a little less miserable and decides to hit the hay “early” instead of depression scrolling on his phone for hours.

There’s then a time skip of a few months. Stretch talking to Edge about the atrocious date he’d been on the night before)

seriously

never been the type to ditch out via bathroom trip from whence you dont return but i actually considered it!

You should have left directly after that comment about your brother. He didn’t even deserve the courtesy of a mysterious disappearance.

yeah youre right honestly

what a freak

and thats coming from me so you know its bad

You’re not a freak.

save it until youve actually had to occupy the same space as me

No. Believe me, I’ve met my fair share of deplorables. You aren’t one of them.

didnt say deplorable just freak

i dont really mind bein a freak but creeps like him give us a bad rap

If it retains a less offensive definition to you then I won’t argue, but you’re often too self deprecating.

eh

im not a very impressive person so i gotta find some way to laugh about it

On the contrary, you don’t give yourself enough credit. You’re the only person I’ve ever met on the internet and felt compelled to stay in touch with, which is very impressive.

-

okay alright

i managed to get one cool guy to keep talking to me

guess i cant be too much of a loser

You think I’m cool? I am, I’m just surprised you actually admitted it.

-

as much as i love yankin your chain

yeah

i do actually think youre pretty cool

I have good news for you then. I have very high standards and don’t associate with losers at all, which means you yourself must be cool.

oooh very smooth very smooth

alright alright fine

im at least a little cool

Glad we can agree on that.

Now, you didn’t finish telling me about that “date”. Did he really try to put a finger through your jaw?

-

wait wait i gotta give a little more context

so before that

(Cuts again, a little over a year)

i know i know

i just feel really stupid

the red flags were practically screaming in my face

Have you ever heard the saying about rose tinted glasses and red flags?

yeah

still

never realize i think im smarter than that until i remember im not

It has nothing to do with being smart. More that you’re perhaps too kind.

would you believe youre not the first person to tell me im naive?

I didn’t say naïve.

so you dont think im naive?

No I think you’re that too, but it’s different. You can be unkind and still naïve. You can be too kind and incredibly perceptive.

I don’t think it’s necessarily naïve to try and see the best in others, but it’s too kind to give the benefit of the doubt and forgiveness so generously.

yeah i think i get what you mean

And maybe there’s also the chance you overlook blatant signs because you’re detrimentally non-confrontational.

hah!

hit the nail on the head a little too hard with that one

to tell you the truth i think its more that than the kindness at this point

im just tired of being lonely

does that make me just as bad?

Does staying with an asshole because you don’t want to be alone make you as bad as the asshole?

Am I understanding the question correctly?

well when you say it like that it sounds really stupid

It sounded stupid the way you said it, too.

how come when i say im stupid you get mad at me but youre allowed to throw it around all willy nilly

I didn’t say you were stupid, but even perfectly intelligent people have stupid thoughts every now and then.

Like when I contemplated traveling to Ebott just to strangle [name] a few moments ago.

-

you should really talk to a therapist about that violent streak yeowch

but in all seriousness

thanks

just for…sticking around

idk

just always feel better after talking with you

Likewise.

You should probably try to get some sleep, isn’t it almost four there?

ew yeah youre right

alright

talk to ya later edgelord

gnight -

Goodnight, Stretch.

(A couple years later (Phone call, not text))

see, i think the problem is you set the bar too high

we’ve been talking this whole time and the more we talk the less i wanna talk…to anybody else

what im trying to say is…

im…i think im in love with you

Stretch…

yeah, i- it was stupid, im sorry, I shouldn’t have-

Stop. I just…need a moment.

We’ve never even met in person- I…

it’s okay if you don’t wanna talk about it, really, i just-

can…are we still friends?

I’m going to need more time to think about this. I’m sorry.

no- no, it’s alright, *i’m sorry for…putting you on the spot like that. i’m sorry.

Stretch.

Whatever conclusion I come to I can’t imagine not wanting to keep talking with you moving forward.

...

alright.

i’ll…let you get back to things.

talk to you later.

Yes, you will. Goodbye, Stretch.

bye.

(More time later (another call))

so i told her i’d have to get back to her but…who *asks that?

You certainly get a unique variety of customers, no one could argue against that.

hah, yeah, sheesh

not that i mind all that much, just wish they were a little less creative

You work for a medical supply company, love, their customers are about as creative as you can get.

-breath of laughter-

ugh. i need a vacation.

“Christmas” break is fast approaching, you’ll make it until then.

yeah…

are you sure? like, really super certain sure you want me to come up there this year?

If you’d rather not-

no no no! i do, i just…i mean, it feels like a lot. i feel bad making you cover everything.

When was the last time you made me do anything? *I invited *you, it’s only fair.

i wouldn’t exactly call spoiling your broke boyfriend constantly fair.

Why not? I have the means, what good do they do me not to use them to spoil you? And I’d hardly call paying for one flight to and from spoiling.

except it’s not one flight, because i know you, and it’s gyftmas, and you’re gunna be crazy over the top about everything.

I would be doing that regardless. But I’d be happier doing it with you here.

-flustered-

alright alright.

i miss you.

I miss you, too.

It won’t be long now, though. Three months. One season.

one season.

fuck, getting a call, gotta go, love you, bye!

I love you, too.

Actually on the topic of dialogue, I have this entire fic rough drafted through dialogue abt Stretch and Edge meeting online through like, a message board or something. It's very cute, but for some reason I've never been able to work on the actual text of it.