#im too philosophical for this app

[rambles-of-mine]

True.

[faaun]

ok let's catch up quickly

[zushimart]

hi idk if this is a weird ask or not bc im half asleep but i just wanted to say that i started following u on my old blog in late 2022 like maybe december and your posts about bpd scara made me feel so seen. i wasn't diagnosed then but it was recently on the table as a diagnosis for me all of a sudden and it was terrifying because i feel like pwbpd are demonized and hated everywhere i look. and just like scrolling thru ur bpd scara tag was like looking at a diary of my own mind or smth. so it was really new to me to see someone talk about borderline as something that brings love and pain into our lives and not just as some scary evil-people diagnosis. like ur definitely my fav writer on this app by far but also u make me feel really validated in my emotions i guess? wow idk sorry like i actually have no idea how to describe it but hopefully u can read minds ‼️ 🤞 i have since been diagnosed with bpd with a criteria score of 9/9 so 😳 idk where id be rn in september 2023 if i hadn't sort of started to learn to love myself from your writings exploring a character. so yea this is probably a strange ask so feel free to ignore it. also im going on anon bc im scared of interacting w ppl. ALSO U R SO FUNNY ND YOUR HUMOR/RANDOM FUNNY TAGS FEEL SO SIMILAR TO MY INTERNAL MONOLOGUE

this is such an open & genuine thing to say to me . i like had to sit with it for a second because it was so .. idk like how to communicate it . my devaluation of ths blog is pretty frequent, treating it sort of like a big boy version of the 2000s children’s diaries with locks.. my thoughts tossed in here nd piled nd piled nd piled, endlessly messy. nd it objectively is a writing blog , like yeah, on a surface level, i own& maintain a writing blog, but i would never tell people that. when people ask my hobbies i always say writing & ill show them my poetry pieces but i never tell them i have a blog because im kind of embarrassed by the very seriously delusional self indulgence i pour into this thing . but then i hear about.. like, for ex. we learned ab and have to maintain our own commonplace book in class, which is essentially where people collected anything and everything they felt needed to be archived from their day and tucked it into the pages of a journal . like how thomas jefferson’s commonplace book will have his serious philosophical & political ramblings side by side a recipe for cornbread because it was just a place to put everything big & small . the practical & the theoretical. just, whatever Means something to u. and leisure, indulgence, pleasure r concepts just as important as virtues imo. anyway i say all this to say that what u said to me makes me want to treat everything better, even this place. it like, makes me feel really proud of my writing& analyses that i might normally b quick to label as inconsequential or childlike because im scared people will think i care too much about something so culturally insignificant. but i do care!! obviously!! a lot. i was like kind of bummed today for a number of reasons frm feeling a bit isolated to feeling like living out my principles& ideals (connecting w community, peer centered thinking etc etc) is almost impossible because im sooo freaking shitty at social convention. so when u sent this in & i read it, it was almost like when ur spacing out nd someone snaps 🫰🫰 in front of ur face to get ur attn. so busy trying 2 b significant to someone to realize that u Already are significant in a myriad of little ways. that it’s not something u search for or insert urself into but rather an inevitable outcome of existing. Anyway . not to b sentimental but i wanted 2 b as candid with u because i really did think it was sweet of u to share & im really happy that i was able 2 positively shape & support a little space of ur life because really thats all i ever want to do. Soooooooooo if ur ask was weird then my response is even weirder. Handwritten thank u:

[ess-presso]

hi ess <3

miss taylor: dancing with our hands tied, blank space, & treacherous <3

ty for the fic rec <3 i love texting fics sm i eat em up everytime. here's one for u, operation: toebeans by moonymoment (cute lil wolfstar fic, they fuck around with minnie and shes so tired of them)

chatting <3

id love to see a massive colonel sanders statue irl. it would definitely be significant enough for people to make pilgrimages to it & in fact i think id visit it myself.

fuck san francisco (im sure its lovely) i hate it there (it looks kinda cool tbh). sadly we've already broken best friend code cause she lives in a different city for uni 💔💔 havent seen that bitch since the beginning of january and im losing my mind. but its fine i think i get to see her this month🕺

ah yes the only two requirements to date someone: be hot and funny. (no but fr thats it. the bar is so low)

hozier <3333 (yes canadian money smells like maple syrup!!! just the notes though not the coins. i wish the coins were scented too)

now for the jesus/judas au..... i think peter simply has to be judas. but for jesus i wanna say james because judas revealed jesus' identity = peter revealing james & lily's location (although sirius as jesus would be funny too with his long jesus-like hair & the way he kinda came back to life via escaping azkaban)

american harry styles scares me fr.

fuck seagulls like actually. they always steal my food at the beach while im swimming and i cant swim back in time to stop them. theyre public enemies around these parts.

oh god. an eighteen year old dating a fourteen year old while he has another gf...... so fucking gross. (someone free both those girls rn. actual leonardo dicaprio behaviour)

i got anne carson's sappho fragments book for christmas & i was gonna go ahead and annotate it but now i feel like i should wait until i have someone to annotate it for. or maybe ill just annotate it and then i can give it to my person when they come along <3

ur def right im the opposite of final girl material but i am impulsive and stubborn so i will explore the church if its the last thing i do. (it will be the last thing i do cause im gonna end up getting myself killed)

six cans of monster can cure anything & i truly believe that. even a horrible hangover.

philosopher's stone>>>> sorcerer's stone sounds so bad anyways. im glad canada isnt quite dumb enough to get the sorcerer's stone treatment.

all of my halloween costumes are pretty lame tbh. i was a bee for my first bday (hence my nickname) but ive been a witch, vampire, zombie, ghost, etc. nothing special really

u should definitely tell harvard. theyd be too stunned to deny u entry its foolproof.

i loved blowing things up in chem. truly my only motivation to go to class.

using music apps based on our fav colours thats so real of us.

i may not have gotten wingstop but i did see florida (jumpscare)

joey in season one <3333

infinite bag of money thats a great idea how did i not think of that.

u will be banker one day. im manifesting this for u.

tumblr will forever be the superior social media idc. this website is untouchable.

oh god that guys a mummy's boy...... freud would absolutely lose his mind. a field day.

i understand u. like sometimes ur drunk self has a mind of its own and will do random shit. ive cut my hair drunk and woke up very confused but at least i managed to not botch it!!!

love in the dark is SUCH A JEGULUS SONGGG oh my god. adding to my jegulus playlist right this instant.

omg listening to music while looking at art>>>>>> perfection. makes u feel so peaceful and cool fr. (WENDYS!!! i love wendys so much.)

ur completely right id rather be having a horrible time with liv than be somewhere nice with someone i hate. doesnt matter what we're doing or whats happening it'll just be better if shes there.

i love that taylor likes 13 like yes girl me too. but 13 is actually a lucky number in italy so my family has always liked it!

oh god james and lily im so sorry......im just glad i wasnt born in 1981 or else id be highly suspicious that im the reincarnation of one of them.

american and canadian accents are super similar unless we're talking southern united states or far eastern canada. they literally sound irish over there no joke.

drarry <3 i just love the angst. so many possibilities for them.

jily & jegulus <33 ur right, jegulus for the fics (theres just SO many good ones) but jily for the ships theyre just so sweet.

after that guy i swore to never watch a movie for someone i like ever again. (also mainly because most of the time the movie is SO BAD!!!!) but yes its so cute when ur watching something with someone and they tell u all about it <333

we kinda did have a lot of paint lying around! it was mostly just lil kid art sets with crappy cheap markers and pencils but they were fun. if i was lucky i was allowed to use my parents fancy stuff.

it was genuinely so funny like i wish i couldve seen the sock fall from the audience's perspective i bet it was ridiculous.

literally ezra/aria. it was so gross but at least it wasnt real.

rude old people make me so mad like how have u lived so much of ur life and still carry so much hate in u......get a life old lady!!!!!!

hermione & harry <33

its true dramione fics are better. romione fics are usually just as bland as they are in canon. still cute tho.

tote bags!!!! love em. and omg a pride and prejudice tote thats so cool. i have one with constellations all over it i love it sm. (but also tote bags make my shoulders hurt so bad i swear im gonna get scoliosis one day)

wireless headphones till i die!!!!! how am i supposed to clean my room while watching netflix or something with wired headphones. how am i supposed to cook with wired headphones.

omg a 2! alexa play lover by taylor swift. (im a 5, apparently the investigators. i do love solving a good puzzle so ill take it)

red nail polish 4ever. looks good with anything i swear. my fav is a dark wine red and its just perfect.

wait thats so funny. it sounds straight out of an episode of friends or something. (glad everyones okay!!!!)

THATS SO CUTE!!!!! AHHHHH! top tier gift fr.

also a top tier gift. signed copies of ur fav books + unabridged podg + museums???? a flawless gift.

THE EMMA QUOTE OHHHH MY GOD!! i love that quote so fucking much. those are all so good. quotes that make u feel completely unzipped are the best always.

that poem is so good wtf. "i fear no fate (for you are my fate my sweet)" WHAT THE HELL!!!!!!!! IM UNWELL.

i wanna visit the lake district so bad ohhh my god. it looks so nice. the air looks so crisp there.

the locket that is so cute im crying!!!!!! i have a pic of liv and i from when were like 3/4 grinning at each other and ive wanted to put it in a locket forever so u have inspired me thatll be her bday gift.

tigers are so cool thats an excellent choice. king of the jungle fr.

horror movies & romcoms thats so real of u. the duality of man. & horror movie adrenaline rushes are unlike anything i swear.

not picking between jily and jegulus REAL!!! theyre both so perfect.

answering qs!

im not allergic to anything! (that i know of. so far so good.)

i totally believe in fate, at least to the "everything happens for a reason" degree. i think people need to just live their lives and let things happen cause we cant control everything and it would be impossible to even try. if its meant to be then itll be.

i accidentally fucked up a really good friendship a while ago by not being there for someone when they needed it (to be fair we were both going THRU it so i didnt realize) but we both moved on & they had moved to a different school so we drifted apart eventually. shit happens but theyre happier now so thats good.

i wake up bright and early (its 12pm.) i gracefully get out of bed (i sit on my phone for half an hour before dragging myself out of bed) i go brush my teeth and do skincare (i do brush my teeth but i definitely dont feel like doing skincare) i go make a nice nutritious meal (i make a coffee and some toast if its a good day) i do a wakeup workout (i sit in bed and drink my coffee) i get dressed for the day (im not changing out of my pjs) i do my makeup (im not doing my makeup) i head to campus for my class (my class is online. i stay in bed.)

spiderman or thor!!! ive never read any of the comics so this is purely based on their movies but peter parker i love that man. and thor is a dumb idiot i love him.

i think id switch lives with either elon musk or jeff bezos so i can give away all their money to charity or to pay for important things that they can afford like solving world hunger. i think id also love to switch lives with timothee chalamet like what goes on in that boy's head hes so funny sometimes.

(like which pre-existing fic do i wish i was the author of?) i wish i had written just lovers by zar (also intermission by zar) just because that fic is a masterpiece and to be the author of such a work of art would be an honour.

i wish i had written the iliad and the odyssey cause it would be cool as fuck to be as iconic as homer. (also since homer mightve not actually existed id love to be that much of an enigma too. keep em guessing)

ive never been in love! ive liked people but it never gets past that. i guess im just waiting for the right person to come along. but also, in a way i think i fall in love with everyone i meet. some people are just so cool and ill carry that memory of them forever.

i dance and sing a lot when im drunk. i get loud in general but i will karaoke the shit out of whatever is playing. also i get giggly cause everything becomes funny for no reason.

the worst fight liv and i have had is so dumb, she called me telling me that she was having people over at her place for her bday. i said i wasnt sure if i could make it bc i had 4 papers due that same weekend but i would try bc i obviously wanted to be there for her bday. she called me back a bit later sobbing saying she wanted me to be there and that she was mad i might miss it, i started sobbing because i felt bad and because i was overwhelmed, i told her okay, id be there no matter what, she said okay. we hung up and then she called me back 10 mins later completely fine and we both apologized for the dramatics & everything was fine and i managed to write my 4 papers in time so i could go. (uni and exams were kicking both our asses & we both had a breakdown cause neither of us had slept in like 2 days at that point lmfao)

probably either stargazing and seeing sirius & regulus & that comet, or when i last saw liv in january - we got coffee and walked around a lake for like 3 hours and talked shit abt the bitchy people from high school. it was lovely.

jegulily yes! ive never read any jegulily but i wouldnt mind reading some at some point. again, james has two hands!!! plus i think their dynamic is so fun.

i actually dont watch a whole lot of romcoms so i had to look up which movies would be considered romcoms and from that search my favs that ive seen are: enchanted, easy A, mamma mia, & 10 things i hate about you!

i also dont watch a lot of horror movies but i was fucking OBSESSED with IT in 2017 like fully obsessed. my entire personality was from that goddamn movie.

qs for u!

piercings vs tattoos?

whats your fatal flaw?

if u were any emoji which would u be?

whats ur love language?

fav superhero?

fav fic of all time

fav disney/pixar movie?

whats ur preferred method of annotating books? (like do u add random commentary or do u add deep analysis & thoughts?

what do u think ur animagus would be?

fav aesthetic?

do u prefer to stay in to watch a movie or go to the theatres?

fav day of the week and why

whats your literary archetype? (fun lil quiz, i got the ruler)

thats all for now <3

-bee

bee my darling <333

(first apologies for replying late.I seem to have a knack with doing those kind of things. but now I'm on half-term break , exams are over, so I'm mostly a free bird !!!)

miss Taylor -

dancing with our hands tied - JEGULUS - 'I loved u in secret'. that's all. secret love is theirs , they own it . also also , this is so regulus's line - 'I loved you in spite of Deep fears that the world would divide us'. HIM HIM HIMMMM.

blank space - all the women - I simply couldn't choose between them and since this song is very very female rage to me , I'll say all of them. especially Marlene , because if she's one to sleep around , you just know she was shamed for it.

treacherous - WOLFSTAR - I just really feel the vibe of sirius being like 'I'll follow you home' and remus thinking that the love he feels for sirius is treacherous !!!

chatting ----->

nah imagine being under that statue and you see boxes of free kfc just hanging around . colonel the redeemer would be gods child fr.

everything in the us looks either cool or dangerous. SHE BROKE THE BFF CODE. yta divorce immediately. lu lives like five minutes away from me and it's to and fro from there like everyday. I see him all the time and I haven't even thought about the possibility that one day I might not see him everyday. like that's not happening. peace to u bee , u brave for not tearing the fuck up.

nah fr where are my hot and funny little bitches/bastards. like bro come here and kiss me on the mouth and take me out and we can get married in like an hour.

hosier is bae baeeee. (that's so fucking cool. and I think the coins should so smell like maple syrup. it's fucking unjust that they don't. sue Trudeau.)

Peter = judas and James = Jesus (and I so see ur point with the sirius looking like Jesus parallel. like James (if he was alive) would've so made some jokes about that.

TALKING ABOUT HARRY STYLES - please tell me you saw him at the brit awards yesterday. please. I was in fucking tears when I saw. like broooo he mentioned Zayn??? my boy Zayn ???? my directioner heart is healing for real. (and lewis Capaldi is probably the only person in the world who can among to get the band back together. he has the power.)

I get chased by them whenever I'm at the beach and they've stolen chips from my fish and chips before and it's so fucking annoying like genuinely I wish they'd go fuck themselves.

no genuinely someone should arrest that guy. fucking hate him. piss bag.

ahhhhh annotate it and then buy a new copy for your person and annotate with shit like 'made me think of u' and everything I would cry my fucking eyes out if someone gave me that.

nah bee a nun gonna fly in and drop kick u in the face (now laughing at this image)

it did not cure my hangover ! it made it worse !!! and the worst part was that lu was also hungover so he couldn't work his magic with his hangover potion. and he also emptied his insides out (he threw up) and I was his sick nurse and made him soup and everything. (he was so out of it it was funny as fuck)

canada is smarter than the use for sure (free healthcare and gun control for one.)

bee as a bee oh my god that's so cute (and those costumes aren't lame they're classics)

fr Harvard is so calling.

blowing things up is so so fun. I used ethanol in class recently (there was a big boom) and it was very funnn.

yes pink and green stay winning always >>>

ew not florida ewwwwww.

joey is just bae. I love him so so much. (his funeral fit stays banging.)

I'm just smarter than u bee , let's face it.

update on the banking thing - he said no. he just doesn't like powerful women.

tumblr is so bae , like vanilla extract is so funny to me now

freud would love to dissect that boy fr.

cutting your hair drunk ??? and not botching it ??? you are the chosen one. I bow down to your brilliance.

THE MOST JEGULUS SONG TO EVER JEGULUS. yes yes u must add it. can't believe it wasn't already there in the first place.

it is so perfect. such a vibe honestly. (Wendy's slaps hard. but it wasn't square so I feel betrayed.)

bad times with your best friend so that ten years in the future you can look back and laugh on how stupid and dumb you were.

ahhh no my family has always considered 13 bad luck. but I don't believe it so 13 stays winning <333

can't tell the difference fr (Irish ??? never knew that that's fucking weird (in a good way))

DRARRRRRRYYYYYY the angst is unmatched. unmatched I tell you.

jegulus fics are so so so good I eat them up like soup. and jily is just - perfect. I love them. I love it so so much.

no because those kind of movies are so weird. it annoys me so much. (but watching stuff with someone who's obsessed with the thing you're watching ??? like whatttt. it's so sweet. eg Lu's fucking obsessed with sports and shit and he knows I'm just not - so he always always explains shit to me like when to cheer which team we support and everything.)

I would feel so proud if it was me and I was allowed to use the fancy paints. like so so important and everything I would love it so so much.

I can imagine it now. sock falling in slow motion.

yes thank fuck for that.

get a life of their own frrrr. high time considering their lives are just about to end.

herm and harry are my darlings honestlyyy

yes yes romione is so cute and awesome but I don't personally like fics about them fr.

OH MY GOD A CONSTELLATION TOTE ???? honestly you're so fucking awesome it's fucking coooolllll.

WIRELESS HEADPHONES 5ever fr fr. could never deal with the wires when I'm doing stuff.

LOVVVVERRRRR. ( a 5 ??? that's awesome !!!)

mine's that kind of red or a classic bright red. love them classics and everything I love it <33

it really really really was. (we're all good but we have matching scars now ! hey - tattoos right there ???)

no I loved it so so much I love it so fucking much it's cool as fuck. prize present <33

I'm literally the best friend ever he should bow down to me and my excellence. (no but I just got him all his favourite things and bro got super emotional and everything. )

YES I FEEL SO UNZIPPED WHEN I READ THAT SHIT I FUCKING LOVE IT SOOTHES ME. those kind of confession quotes will always be so dear to me.

YES YES U GET IT. favourite poem ever <33

the air is super crisp and everything feels mega real up there. like I am hyper-aware of the fact that I exist.

yes yes a locket like that is so so cute. she will keep it close to her heart trust <333

YES TIGERS. GO TIGERS.

horror movies & romcoms have my whole heart. rom-coms come first , but horror movies are a close second. (and horror-coms are lovely too !!!)

jily and jegulus are amazing. top-tier always.

reviewing your q's -

god bless u and ur immune system. the chosen 1 fr.

fate fate fate. I believe in destiny and fate and I love it because I really truly believe that I could bump into someone and fall in love. like it could so so happen. It will happen. manifesting the fuck out of it.

friendship break ups make me so so sad. like damn you don't want me anymore???? sad as fuck. (glad you both are doing good now !!!!)

WHAT A FUCING MOOD. same though. I think it's something in the air when I'm getting ready for school. like I get ten times more slugger in the morning I'm getting up for school like I really curse the fuck out of everyone and their mothers.i do it so often.

Peter Parker always <33333. I love them so so so much.(tom and toby and ANDREWWWWW)

(yes yes that's what I meant !!!) I so so need to fucking read it I swear I'll do it. I'm going to do it as soon as I have time honest.

homer is iconic you're so right. keep them guessing always and forever for reals.

I fall in love every time I look in the mirror. no but if we're being honest - me neither. I feel like it's coming though. I love love and I want to be in love too. (meeting the best people and carrying the memory of them forever >>>)

NO HONESTLY. man wearing hat ???? funny as fuckkkk.

not being able to go places because you have exams is so so so fucking annoying. like exams can go to hell (she cried for u ??? that's so sad and honest and sweet honestly best friend GOALS.)

talking shit about bitchy people with your best friend >>>> especially because it's always the darnedest things too and the best friends we have would never expect it and it's always so funny to shock them.

I honestly don't really mind jegulily. I think it's fun , and I might read a couple fics here and there but they'll never be my OTP. I love them , but jegulus and jily stay winning alwayssss.

'I hate the way I don't hate u. not even a little bit , not even at all.' my heartttt. and also Cameron is amazing and needs to be appreciated more.

q's -

now I love piercings (want at least 3 in each ear) but tattoos because to me they can hold much more meaning than a piercing. like it would be amazing and they just .... do stuff piercings can't. piercings still slap though.

loyalty to the people I love. like I've said this before , but I'd absolutely go feral if anything untoward happened to the people I love. i would genuinely fuck the aggressor up. like I genuinely feel like I saw a ten foot tall hunky muscle guy slap lu once , and I was there , I'd get so mad I'm pretty sure my sheer anger would scare him the fuck away. but I'd do it even if they were wrong. like if he says the sky is purple in front of people he doesn't like , then the sky is mf purple until we get home then I ask him what the fuck is going on.

the raising a single eyebrow one. I'm always making that facial expression. (I used to hang out with some pretty sus people and the things they used to say ..... shiver.) and of course the love heart ( where is my pink love heart , apple ?????? where is it ????) simply because I am a hopeless romantic.

acts of service !!! I will always do something like that for someone I love. like you need the groceries ??? not a single word more I'm going rn. also also love love giving gifts. like I really think them out .

SPIDERMANNNN. I love all 3 of them so so much I love the fuck out of them they're my favourites always always.

oh my god I couldn't possibly. but I could. (for each ship I have 1 or 2)

drarry - mental , temptation on the warfront.

jegulus - absentmindedly making me want you

dramione - wait & hope , isolation

wolfstar - of memories and milk thievery , lessen my load

nottpott (harry x theo nott) - rendevouz receipts , lethal combination

btw lethal combination is by the same author as the one who wrote the atlas six !!!! I love it so so much !!1 (nottpott is a guilty pleasure ship)

7. my favourite Disney movie is tangled always always <33333 unmatched. Pixar - UP (I fucking love it. it made me cry so so hard, I love it so so much)

8.i do both. like I have clear post-its , and sometimes I jot my notes down there , other times I have annotated the fuck out of them on the pages. in my copy of Gatsby , I have the word 'gay' written next to a lot of the times nick talks about Gatsby (maybe I'm biased but he was so in love with Gatsby.)

9.i'd love to be a black cat. mostly because I hate how they're said to be bad luck. like they're so sweet and cute and I just love them always. they're amazing. (plus being lazy and thinking they're better than everyone ??? so me honestly.)

10. dark academia !!! I so so so wanna live like that like it's the dream I love it so much. everything about it. the outfits , the scene , the vibes , the feel , the feeling that if I fall in love with someone , it'd kill me to be without them. I just LOVE it.

11. cinemas !!!! I love cinemas so much the vibes , the popcorn , the snacks I've snuck in , the way people clap when famous actors come onto screen >>>>

12. friday !!! end of the week , game night , no alarm to wake upto the next day . Friday has it all always. very dear and near to me <333

13.the lover !!!! no one was surprised by this honestly. it's very literally me. I am very much an idealist always looking for love wherever I can find it !!!

q's for uuuu -

which 1d member is your fave ?

top 5 Taylor songs ?

top Shakespeare quote ?

fave Shakespeare play ?

fave modern family character ?

style vs ootw?

cruel summer vs dress ?

fave tay tay lyric ?

controversial opinion you have ?

famous person you hate (not an obvious one like Kanye or John Mayer we all hate them they don't count) ?

sickest burn you've ever given ?

sickest burn you've ever got ?

moment when you wanted to slap liv's face the fuck off ?

moment you've been horrendously jealous ?

(beee beee beee I love u tonnes. sorry I've been so bad with replying. I'm so going back to normal after this I pinky promise. come back soon <3333333 I missed u!!!)

[bejoomi]

hello! 💕

hi! wow i’m so!! excited to be here, this muse has been eating my brain for a long time but i finally have the time and energy to actually apply, so here we are now 💓 i’ll be getting back to any messages asap, but i figure i should introduce myself properly here too. i’m carly! (she/her, 25) and i’ve been in krp forever so i’m sure i know some of you already, so if you think we’ve met before feel free to say hi to me i’d be happy to catch up  😊 regardless, i’m really excited to get to know everyone and their muses, and to get writing, so please like this post if you’d like to plot and i will run into your arms. i tend to plot best through tumblr ims actually, but i’m also @YURlLECLERC on twitter so feel free to follow me there even if u just want to chat or witness my unhinged ramblings.

onto joomi now, aka guy whose quote on his app should’ve been “stop it. get some help.” he has an about page here, which has just about all the info you could want to know about him, but i’ll ramble about him some and try my hand at some plot ideas under the cut too! even though it’ll be repetitive if u look at the about page it’ll be fun

u see that gif icon? yeah that’s joomi like. 1% of the time. i don’t actually know how he settled on jeongin as his face bc he’s not nearly as cute and happy but it be like that sometimes. maybe one day

he’s an ‘02 liner, but early ‘02 (january 9th) and he’s very mature for his age

( ABUSE TW ) mainly bc he has been through a lot, namely just...a cycle of abuse. his mom had/has a lot of issues and got divorced and married three different times so far, to a shitty man each time, who were all abusive in their own ways (aside from one who was just a Regular Old Asshole)

he was also in an abusive relationship himself unfortunately ( END TW )

he managed to escape the toxic wasteland of his life in busan to seoul last year when he got into snu

except he didn’t actually go to snu, he lied to everyone, broke up with his boyfriend, moved, and decided he was too much of a fucking mess and that he needed to work on himself first or else he was just going to absolutely crumble

so he started picking up a bunch of part time jobs + his occasional allowance from his family (who was never poor, luckily) and started going to therapy

he works as a waiter and at lotte world and then kinda makes money doing other random jobs. namely ghostwriting things for people (essays, mainly)

but he also ghostwrites music for his band that he’s been in for several months now. their lead singer is an asshole and attention whore and joomi just wants to write from his heart and would feel too vulnerable if people knew He wrote the songs, so he lets their lead singer claim the songs he writes. the lead singer also Named the band so yes, the band is named eat schmidt, no, joomi doesn’t know who schmidt is quit asking please

joomi fell back on music a lot as he grew up. he can play guitar and is really good at piano and can pick things up pretty fast. he plays keyboard in the band right now but is confident that he could fill in anywhere (and he wants to be the lead vocalist tbh...but that’s just a distant dream. don’t worry joomi i will give you your band frontman arc.)

honestly i started this intro last night and am picking it up now tonight and i have no memory whatsoever of what i wanted to write but ok

personality-wise, he’s not exactly Prickly, but he is pretty stoic and tends to keep to himself. he’s good at holding conversation tho, especially if it’s about weird deep philosophical shit (best of luck to me writing it) and actually a very caring guy tho he’s Also a tsundere LMAO very sarcastic, but also very wise and pretty good at giving advice. he Likes listening to people and when people open up to him but he tends to offer a lot of unsolicited advice so he may not be the Best listener he would be very upset if he knew this though. 

he’s also kinda a bullshit detector, good at seeing through people and kinda cutting to their core (just scorpio moon things) so he Will call people out. all the time. if you’re hurting yourself or other people, that is; if you’re hurting him he usually just takes it and is like ok whatever. he’s working on that in therapy tho so this might change soon enough

tl;dr Band Boy That Is Tired

PLOT IDEAS

fans of eat schmidt. people that hate eat schmidt. generally just people from the band scene. joomi is not that proud to be part of this band but he does love rock music so he also kind of lives for it. he should be able to bond w anyone that vibes w this

also band members would be fun? i Do have intentions to make joomi the lead vocalist of the band in the future if all works out and guitar may be spoken for depending on how things go but!! anyone else!

coworkers! the lotte world job is probably oddly specific but the waiter job is pretty open to be Any restaurant. he will also write y’all’s essays...and can be convinced to do a lot of other odd jobs if bribed, especially if it’s taking care of your cats while you’re away

i would like as many people for joomi to call out as possible. he is not afraid of conflict for the greater good whatsoever so i think it would be so fun to have him fight people <3 feel free to hate him he Does Not Care

alternatively he doesn’t just fight people to be an asshole he Means to be genuinely helping. most of the time. so people he can genuinely help! he will stage interventions he will give u tough love but he also is capable of being gentle, he’s pretty good at tailoring how he acts to what he thinks people need. to some extent

i don’t know how to get joomi to learn how to do anything other than sing and play instruments but if someone can get him interested in that that would be amazing i think he’s currently the most useless muse in the roleplay as far as becoming an idol goes LMAO

he’s totally uninterested in becoming an idol atm, like it’s not even on his radar, so people to put it on his radar would be nice since this is an idol rp SDFSDDGDG not that i would be mad if he doesn’t get signed for years but! u know

neighbors? he has a roommate rn but he’s an asshole and they fight all the time. it may be concerning or u may just want them to shut up or maybe u have no clue and u just see each other around a lot, lots of options here. he will eventually move out but for now 👍 

joomi loves writing songs sm that is pretty much his Passion so?? i don’t have ideas related to this but maybe you need a song for something and don’t want to make it yourself? he will ghostwrite u a song and have a blast. fellow composer friends would be fun too but he might get grumpy if he thinks your muse is a better composer than him. that could be fun in itself tho!

honestly this is way more than i usually provide i am way more of a brainstormer so let’s cook up something fun ok <3

[ellebi-studies]

Oh hi... Since the pre-exam weeks have started, I can not focus on my studies.. Im so scared & stressed out how am I supposed to pass all these exams..(medical student ) What would you do in such situation? So many tests and all you need is to pass them over 70%... I’m mentally done omg.. Any vitamin supplements or calm pills? Thanks

Hey, I completely understand your situation. Med school is hard, and you feel a lot of tension. Also, I guess you may feel the pressure of the expectations of your family and friends.

Remember that you are human, and failure is possible. I know it seems like failure is not admissible, but it is not real. I'll reveal you a secret: if you fail, nothing happens. I did not pass the first part of my anatomy exam on the first attempt, and I felt terrible. I felt like my worst nightmare came true. But what happened then? I prepared for the exam again, and I passed it.

Do not let the fear of failure prevail on you. Remember why you are doing it. Enjoy the process of learning and studying. Medicine is fascinating, and it is a pity to spend lots of years without savouring it because we are too busy despairing for exams.

Anyways, these are beautiful words, but I know that when you are in the middle of an exam session, it is hard to focus on the philosophical aspect. So let's come to the more practical tips to cope with anxiety.

I always try to focus rationally on my preparation. Do I perform well in exam simulations? Have I studied everything? Are my study buddies better or worse prepared than me? Did I respect my study plan? It helps me understand when I am worrying too much.

Also, it is vital to resize the problem. See friends (or make video calls with them) and find time for yourself and your hobbies. I know you do not have lots of time in this period since you have to study, but do not forget that you are a person over a medical student.

When I'm too exhausted, I like listening to relaxing music (you can find playlists on Spotify or YouTube). Meditating is good for your mind, as well (there are free apps like Headspace, which are great). Make a break and find something that unwinds you at least a little bit (I swear candles, tea and new stationery are miraculous for me). Also, writing down my fears and worries is a relief for me. It makes them organised and somehow less frightful.

As for pills, I never used any, nor I know anyone using them, so I am not very informed. I have to say I am sceptical about this topic. I guess many of them are based on the placebo effect or may have serious side effects, such as addiction. Some infusions might help (at least because they are warm, so they relax you), but I never tried.

Anyways, if you feel the need, do not hesitate to ask for support. Many universities have a psychological support system, which you may use. Do not baulk just because of social prejudices, which luckily are vanishing. There is no shame in letting someone else help you, and you do not have anything to lose.

I hope this was anyhow helpful to you. Whatever you need, feel free to contact me!

[uncloseted]

i related to effy an unhealthy amount when i was only 13 when i first watched it, but at the time i wasnt doing drugs, homewrecking, doing anything that young lol. however i was extremely mentally ill but undiagnosed, and so confused but i found solace in effys character because of how similar i felt to her. flashforward to being 20 now and im a nic addict/borderline drug and alcohol addict that forgets to take my prescribed antidepressants and antipsychotics. i cant tell you how many events of effys life have mirrored mine now 7 years later, both the pretty but mostly the ugly. it all feels like a joke to me, and the thing is of course it wasnt effy the fictional character that did this to me, it was the fact that i was genetically and epically set up to do this to me for as long as i existed and i saw myself in her too young. everyone ive ever met and started to befriend has fallen in love with me, has found me beautiful, and then seen my flaws and hated me even if they didnt tell me to my face. ive been a horrible friend and partner and im flighty and unreliable and destructive. i never saw effy, or a person like effy, find a happy ending and im afraid even when im at my manic highs i will never find a lasting happiness and will always accidentally self sabotage until i die. what im trying to ask is, how can i save me? i know its dumb to ask a random tumblr user but ive been following this blog since i was 13-14 and since you know effy through and through, you might know a little about me. its a long shot. (i’d also like to say this isnt a cry for help and im safe/not actively suicidal so i dont want you to feel like theres any pressure like that, but i did use this ask box as a free therapy session.)

I'm a bit biased, but I don't think there's anything wrong with asking a random Tumblr user at all. I'm happy to be a free therapy session when you need one, and I'm really touched that you've trusted me with your thoughts and feelings for so long. Hopefully I've been some help over the years 😆

Coping with mental illness can be really, really hard, but the good news is that with the right tools and support system, you can absolutely recover. It sounds like you already have a psychiatrist in your life, which is a great start. If you've having trouble remembering to take your medication, it might help to set calendar reminders on your phone, set up text prompts to remind you to take your pills, to link taking your pills with something else you do every day (like brushing your teeth or eating breakfast), or to reward yourself for taking your medication (for example, putting a piece of candy in your pill box that you can eat after taking your pill).

If you don't have one already, a therapist might also be a good idea. It can take a while to find the right therapist for you, so schedule a few appointments and see which therapist you "click" with. A therapist can help you work through any reluctance you might have towards taking you medications, as well as helping you come up with day to day strategies that help you achieve your goals and helping you work through the beliefs that you hold about yourself and the world that may be holding you back.

Moving on to talking about addiction for a bit. I strongly believe that addiction doesn't come from some type of inherent lack of willpower or moral failing, or even really the drug itself. It's the need to escape reality. And that's actually supported by scientific literature; most famously, the Rat Park experiment by Bruce K Alexander. Practically, we've seen that same thing in the aftermath of Portugal's decision to decriminalize all drugs. They took the money they were using to keep drug users in prison, and instead invested that money into reconnecting people who struggle with addiction to society. Their goal was to make sure that every person who struggles with addiction has a reason to get up in the morning and has a support system within the wider society. And it actually worked- injection drug use is down 50%, overdoses and HIV infections have massively decreased, and rates of addiction decreased as well. It's much easier to quit when you have something motivating you to keep going.

Why am I telling you all of this? I guess what I'm trying to get at is in order to recover from addiction, I think first people need to understand what the reality is that they're trying to escape. What can be done about those issues? Who's in your corner trying to support you, even if they're not doing the best job at it? Where else can you get the social support you might need? What are you passionate about? What would make it feel worth it to get up in the morning? I think instead of focusing on the drugs, or the alcohol, or the cigarettes, maybe we should focus on solving the root problems that make those attractive options. That's one of the reasons a therapist is a really good idea; they can help you figure out what those root problems are, and provide resources and tools to help you fix those problems.

In terms of practical, do it yourself advice for dealing with addiction, there are a couple things you might try. I did a whole post on evidence-based ways to set goals and follow through on them here, so I won't rehash it in this post, but basically:

Try to set goals that are specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time bound. For you, this might be something like "My goal is to have only one drink a day (measurable and achievable) for week (time bound) so that I can be more reliable for my friends (relevant)".

Instead of trying to quit something, replace it with something else. For example, "when I feel like smoking, I'm going to do ten minutes of learning Korean instead". Learning something new is easier and more exciting, and so new habits are easier to maintain that breaking old ones. Find a new hobby that you've always wanted to do or that's exciting to you, and try to focus your energies on that to distract yourself.

Identify any obstacles (such as environmental triggers) that you might run into, and develop contingency plans for working around them. This might be something like, "when I drink coffee in the morning, I want to smoke, so I'm going to switch to tea instead." If you can, get rid of all environmental triggers that might remind you of your addiction or trigger a craving.

Get someone else involved. Tell a friend about your goal and have them check up on you. Your fear of disappointing them will help you stay on track.

Put money on the line. Give money to a friend with the understanding that you'll get it back at a set date if you've achieved the goal you set. Tell your friend that if you fail, they should donate the money to a group or cause you really hate.

Write down the reasons you want to quit, and put them somewhere you know you'll see them. Whenever you want to engage in an addiction behavior, read through that list first.

For bonus points, add to that list your contingency plan for when you want to engage in an addiction behavior. These may include ways to redirect your attention or distract yourself until the craving passes.

76% of people who wrote down their goals, actions and provided weekly progress to a friend successfully achieved their goals.

You might also try an addiction recovery app, such as these, or doing Cognitive Behavioral Therapy worksheets on your own if you can't access a therapist right now.

There are also some things you can try in order to improve your mood. As much as I hate that this is true, consistent exercise has a huge impact on mood. If you can, try taking a 20 minute walk outside, 3 times a week. Other (boring) things, like making sure you're getting 7-9 hours of sleep a night and eating regularly, can also make a big difference in mood. Some of you might know that I'm a little bit obsessed with the free Coursera class "The Science of Well-Being". It has a lot of great evidence-based tips and tricks for how to build happiness, and I highly recommend it if you're trying to live a happier life. These include things like journaling, meditating, noting things that you're grateful for, helping other people, and having regular social interactions.

Finally, a few philosophical thoughts. One of the Four Noble Truths in Buddhism is dukkha. Basically, this is the idea that suffering is an innate characteristic of existence in our world. When I was younger, I never liked this concept, but I think now I kind of get it. It's impossible to be happy 100% of the time, and that shouldn't be our goal. Suffering is the comparison by which our lives gain meaning. But we can do our best to minimize our suffering and the suffering of others, and ride the wave of suffering when it does come. And each time we ride that wave, we can learn techniques to manage it a little bit better, and to make it easier the next time. We will sometimes sabotage ourselves out of fear, but we can learn how to do it less frequently and for the consequences to be less dire. We can learn how to forgive ourselves for our flaws and what we've done in the past, and learn from those mistakes so we don't do them again in the future. It's also okay to backslide, to struggle even after you've made progress. You're never back where you started, because you've always learned more and experienced more.

I know I've thrown kind of a lot at you in this post, and I don't expect you to try all of it or for all of it to work, but hopefully something in there is helpful to you. You can get through this. You can save yourself, but please, also remember to let others help save you. You don't need to do this on your own. And just like I have been since you were 13, I'm always here to give a free therapy session and to lend my support ❤️❤️❤️

[buffyromanoff]

Could you write some Carol danvers x r fluff? I miss her

Rainy Day

You met Carol Danvers in one of Tony's parties and you instantly fell in love with her. Luckily for you she couldn't take her eyes off you either and after a few drinks, she gave you her number. You two went out in so many dates ever since that day and you couldn't get enough of her. She was smart,honest, funny, beautiful, a little bit cocky but her heart was the purest of them all.

Today you met her at the park and walked around a bit until a light rain made you end things up earlier than expected.

As Carol walked you home, you couldn't stop thinking about one thing: kissing her.

You thought about doing it a couple of times but you were too shy to make the first move.

"Thank you for walking me home Carol, i had a very good time". You stepped inside your house.

"Of course, I always have a great time with you y/n". Carol said as she looked around your house. You could see that she was looking at every little detail of the inside of your living room and smiling. If you'd known she would come in, you would have cleaned things up a bit.

You checked the weather app on your phone.

"There's going to be a storm apparently… you can stay if you want to". Carol turned around with a smirk on her face and rubbed your arm.

"It’s fine y/n, i don't mind getting a little wet". She started to put on her brown leather jacket and opened the door.

"But i do! I it’s freezing outside...and the rain! I don't want you to catch a cold,Carol".

It was quite obvious that you wanted her to stay the night at your place, you know she knew, but whenever she made a decision it was very hard to convince her otherwise.

"You are worrying about nothing y/n, it’s just a little bit of water, I can take it". She kissed your cheek. "I'll call you tomorrow". She said and walked out of the door.

Disappointed and after 5 minutes of standing still looking at the closed door, you turned on your tv and headed to the kitchen to make some popcorn.

"you have to be more persuasive". You muttered to yourself but then a very loud noise made you jump; a thunder, followed by pouring rain, and a few minutes later someone was banging on your door.

You opened it and saw Carol, soaking wet and trying not to make eye contact with you.

"What are you doing here Danvers? i thought it was barely raining". Carol rolled her eyes "shut up" .You laughed and let her inside again.

"C'mon, lets get you dried up". You guided her to the bathroom and handed her a towel and some of your clothes.

While Carol changed, you put the popcorn into a small bowl, sat on the couch and grabbed the remote to look for something you may be interested in watching.

Carol, who was now wearing your grey sweatpants and a worn out Harry Potter t-shirt dropped her body to the spot next to you and sighed.

"Thanks for the clothes y/n". You smiled in response.

While you went through all the channels and found nothing to watch, Carol kept herself busy eating all of the popcorn you’d made for yourself.

"Why did you make so little?". She asked swallowing the last bit.

You stood up and took the empty bowl out of her hands. "Because they were for me, you left me alone remember?". You teased.

"Oops, my bad". Your lips curled forming a smile and you headed to the kitchen to make some more.

Carol Danvers was sitting on your couch, wearing your clothes and eating your food. You wanted to scream in excitement like a highschooler but you couldn't make things that obvious.

Suddenly another sound caught your attention and this time it wasnt a thunder.

"Carol?".

"Yeah?".

"Was that a sneeze?". You asked suspiciously.

"...maybe?".

5 minutes later you walked to the living room with a cup of tea in one hand and popcorn in the other.

"Oh is it because i sneezed? y/n im not getting a cold, it was probably because of the dust you have in here, when was the last time you cleaned?". She joked and fake cleared her throat.

"Ha ha very funny Danvers". You handed her the mug. "I give you shelter and you say that? you’re rude".

"I'm just speaking the truth". She said as she took a sip of the tea.

"Yeah well, you are a liar. I can see your nose is turning red".

"For the last time y/n, i dont have a-". She sneezed again.

"Excuse me, you dont have a what? I didn’t hear that because you sneezed".

Carol punched your arm playfully and you laughed.

"Seriously y/n i’m fine". She said in a calm tone.

"Then why did you drink the tea?". You asked grabbing some popcorn.

"Because you made it for me, silly". She rested her hand on your thigh and you met her eyes. You could see that she had feelings for you too, but you were too shy to do anything about it. Carol’s eyes now pointed at your lips and you couldn’t be more nervous, so you decided to break the moment.

"Have you seen it?". You pointed your finger at the t-shirt you lend her.

"What-? Oh! Absolutely I love Gandalf". She said trying to sound confident.

You started laughing. "I can’t believe you’ve never seen Harry Potter, Carol!".

"But i did! I told you, Gand-". You grabbed her hand. "Sweetie, Gandalf’s from Lord of the Rings".

"Oh fuck".She whispered.

"Good try tho". You got up and ran to your bedroom.

"y/n where are you going?".

You came back with your ‘Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone’ dvd and played it on the tv.

The two of you cuddled and ate popcorn throughout the entire movie.

"Did you like it?". You asked excitedly

"I loved it". She patted your thigh as she got up.

"It stopped raining". Carol said after she looked through the window. "I better go... and oh, don’t expect me to return your t-shirt, i’m keeping it".

"Oh so now you are stealing from me?". You teased her.

"It’s not stealing if im warning you".

You got up and looked at her from head to toes. "It looks better on you, keep it".

"Really? Y/n,I was joking i’ll give it back to you".

"No. I want you to have it ,please".

"You sure?" .She asked.

"I’m sure, Carol".

Carol wrapped her arms around you. "Thanks y/n". Your arms were now hugging Carol,and you never wanted to her go.

Fuck it.

You placed your lips onto hers and started to move them. You couldn't believe that she was kissing you back.

"Wait". She pulled out and before she continued talking, a rush of bad thoughts went through your mind.

"Great, you ruined everything y/n". You thought.

"You were right, i think i’m catching a cold and i don’t want to pass it to you-".

You laughed and kissed her again. "I don’t care".

After all, Carol did spend the night. Just as you wanted.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hope you liked it! I miss Carol too. Feedback is apreciated :)

[rambles-of-mine]

Today I got a moth tattoo.

It was a weird experience at first cause the tattoos I’m used to do are pretty small compared to this one, so my anxiety was on level explosive diarrhea if that makes sense.

Im not gonna lie I was also excited to do this tattoo since it was going to be a cover for an old tattoo that I wanted to get rib of, I didn’t connect with it anymore cause it reminded me of my past self and well like everybody, people tend to change throughout the time, their beliefs, their personalities, their likes, their behavior towards certain situations, their way of thinking, their way of communicating with others, their bad sense of style back when they were still in middle school and didn’t know how to match tops and bottoms and also never heard of color coordination.

Everybody changes and that’s good, and I know that talking about something that’s gonna be permanent on your skin is a lot of hypocrisy on my part but that is also part of the experience, knowing that something you did in the past doesn’t define you anymore is a very big step into knowing the new version of yourself, it’s like a clue to a new chapter of a book, in this case we can call this chapter: “don’t be sad go get a tattoo, again.” And move on to another part of your life!

People always tend to annoy me with that topic “oh no! You got a tattoo?! Do you realize that’s permanent?!”

“Yeah no shit Sherlock, no I was just messing with you I made this with a sharpie 5 min ago inside that public restroom, just to look cool. It’s a dragon btw, I know it’s looks more like a raccoon but it’s just because I didn’t pay attention during art classes.”

This is a great answer to that stupid question, like do you think I paid almost with my kidney just to come off 3days later?! I know I’m messed up but not that much, chill.

Anyways the point of this blabbering is that I really enjoyed the tattoo, it covered the other one perfectly and I’m in love with it, the point of doing a moth tattoo was because of a video on tik tok explaining the meaning of moths, if your not into spiritual things then stop reading but if you are welcome bestie, have a cup of tea let’s talk:

So apparently, moths have a deeper meaning that I have imagined and I only discover this in the beginning of this year, moths are a representation of finding the light in the darkness, since they are nocturnal creatures and they follow the light of the moon or the light inside your house, it’s a way to guide them and with out it they cannot fly properly, that is why when a moth is close to a light bulb they tend to go around in circles cause it’s their only light source, I don’t know if what I’m saying here it’s 100% accurate but I guess it’s something like this. So basically moths are very misjudged and not seen with good eyes but for me I think they’re very cute and beautiful.

“Moths are often symbolic of positive transformation because they fly in the dark of night towards light. In some traditions, moths are seen as a symbol of a holy union of light and dark needed for a soul's transformation.” The funny part of this is months before I did my tattoo a encounter three moths inside my house which is not very rare in my area, one them I found in my front door actually, and the most weird part it was during the day, it’s commonly known that they only appear at night so it was very strange.

It was the first time that something like this has ever happened to me before and I took has a sign to do this tattoo, not only because I wanted to cover the other one so bad but also it kinda matched my current state of life, I have been through some rough times during 2023 and also the beginning of this year, so seeing a moth so many times when my life is getting better day by day is something that warms my heart, it’s saying that not everything is lost and there’s a light in the darkness, just like that Scorpions song:

🎶“This is the time for yourself to be free

You gotta follow your heart

This is the time in your life and it's never too late

To see the light in the dark

You gotta follow your heart”🎶

Damn that shit hits hard.

But yeah this was just to share my happiness with my new moth tattoo and also to say that not everything is doomed, we all have a dark era but we also have a slay era, we are the light and the dark in one body and we need this union to grow and become a better version of ourselves.

Now go out there and slay your enemies with your smile periodtttt!!!!

(I’m watching to many Caseoh’s videos)

[liquidstar]

soulmate aus are cute as long as you dont think about the concept too long (and youre not supposed to, theyre really not intended to be more than something saccharine to indulge in and thats good!) but i Cannot Stop Myself from thinking about the ramifications something like this would have on the world. every single person exists solely as an “other half” to another person, almost like they dont really live for themselves and everyone is an inherently incomplete being, that must impact everyone’s self-perception so much and that’s not even to speak of the philosophical implications of it. not to mention... society would have to be ordered differently based on this structure, wouldnt it? i dont mean surface-level stuff like dating apps where you post your soulmark or counselling for people without one, but i mean.... everything! everything would be structured so differently because the concept of a soulmate being real would effect so much of the world. i cant tell you exactly how because im not expert on alternate history theories, but i can still imagine that society would function very differently and be about 100x more hyperfocused on romance than it already is. 

this isnt some kind of criticism of soulmate aus! like i said theyre cute and saccharine and youre supposed to take them at face value, but sometimes i just cant stop my thoughts from wondering about how a “real” alternate universe with soulmates would function. and i think its INTERESTING because even though the concept is mostly used to write romance, if used correctly it could also be used to write a dystonian narrative. maybe one that highlights the issues with society's fixation on living a specific pre-determined heteronormative cookie-cutter lifestyle and the way people who dont fit into it are either shunned or forced into a life of misery, as well as a critique on the culture surrounding romance and the implication that youre incomplete without a partner (especially if youre a women, because a man has to complete you while you devote your being to him). just those concepts at their extremes. i dont know! im just sharing random thoughts, because i think the concept could be a lot more than what most people expect from it!

[penpalkingdom]

Name: Hatch

Age: 21, 22 in March

Country: USA

About Me + What I’m looking for:

I’m a queer alterhuman (Pan, arospec, nonbinary, polyam, otherkin and such) looking for other queer folk, other alterhumans, and/or people who are open-minded and whatnot. I practice pop culture paganism and would love people to (eventually open up to and) talk about it with! 

I’m looking for either someone to talk through thru emails, or the penpal app Slowly (id is V3MB25, its a very good app that delays your letters like its real snail mail but if you cant really afford stationary.)

I’m not really looking for a specific type of friendship. If you want to have long philosophical talks, we can do that (or attempt to, im not claiming to be intelligent), if you want to discuss our interests or if you want to show off your poetry or art or anything. I’m pretty flexible. 

I’m also looking for people to play online chess with! I prefer Lichess, but if you have a different way to play online i can do that too

I like video games (The Elder Scrolls, Outlast, Minecraft, Animal Crossing,) lots of music (Depeche Mode, Ludo, Various vocaloid things, Twenty One Pilots, The Altogether,) some podcasts (The Adventure Zone, Welcome To Night Vale, the Magnus Archives) and a lot of different aesthetics. I’m Autistic, and have special interests like “Homestuck Quadrants,” “Learning about subcultures,” and “Imagining myself hanging out with fictional characters”

Any age is fine, I just wanna make adult friends, yknow. Message me either on my tumblr @fathermartinarchimbaud, or if you’d prefer on Slowly, with my id V3MB25 and let me know whats up!

[profanetools]

dwemer tinder app. discuss

EMMA. IM. GJFGDSFSGSSG

I cannot imagine anything but an absolute disaster of an intellectual dick measuring competition. Candids of you in your workshop crafting profane tools to siphon the heart's divine power. Selfies in strking electric light with suureal filters; extremely aesthetic extremely dramatic extremely vain. Obscenely long descriptions, or just DTF, no inbetween. More lighthearted profiles will include selfies with pet spiders or favourite automatons.

First convos are like, way too often just a grilling about what side of philosophical/scientific/political debate you are on. Like i say, intellectual dick measuring competition. You'll almost definitely be grilled about whatever music you've set - or at least asked about it, it's one of those details they do actually take really seriously.

A surprising amount of poetry is involved (poetry follows a rhythm that is rather musical and people always underestimate its popularity among the dwemer). It's often really good poetry, as well.

[rocketandonuts]

So, Those Hivelost Chara Coc Sheets....

It was written in Japanese so Im gonna only do Judley and Veneci’s one for now cuz im supposed to sleep soon. Theyve got the most distinguished charms comparing to the canon version anyway. (Also It seems like i didnt give them human names but im guessing they are supposed to be humans)

So here goes:

Judley (20/Female) Occupation: Webcomic Artist (Yes this is kinda meta) HP: 11 / MP: 13 / SAN: 65 STR: 13 / CON: 10 / POW: 13 / DEX: 7 APP: 12 / SIZ: 11 / INT: 11 / EDU: 14 Aspiring comic artist. Have some rather passionate fans. Main creative style/genre are slice-of-life fantasy and “Sekaikei” (This is a term thats really difficult to translate. Let’s just say its usually soft sci-fi centering only one or two simple subjects(such as a character or a relationship) but ended up effecting the whole world/story) Not her main creative genre, but she personally has a fondness towards horror/occult stuff, hence got lots of knowledge She suffers under “Those random thoughts that always rudely barge into her mind“ and drawing them into comics serves as a form of catharsis. Because of this trait, most of her works are rather short and random, which often leads to mixed reviews Personality-wise, she is stubborn and usually an overthinker. Sometimes went out of her way trying to figure out abstruse ideas. Therefore she tends to feel stress with socializing. Altho on the other hand its means that she will always try to treat people seriously, so it can also be seen as her convoluted way of caring Skills: Fist/Punch 70% Throw 45% Listen 40% Library Use 55% Spot Hidden 60% Create <Stories> 55% Fast Talk 55% Occult 60% Art <Illustration> 55% Computer Use 31% Psychology 40% Natural History 30%

Veneci (20/Male) Occupation: Backpacker (Owns a Twitter account with lots of followers) HP: 11 / MP: 14 / SAN: 70 STR: 8 / CON: 10 / POW: 14 / DEX: 15 APP: 14 / SIZ: 11 / INT: 18 / EDU: 13 He’s not financially insecure or homeless. Technically he shares a place with his twin sister (Yes is this AU they are still siblings), but he simply likes drifting around all over the country and only occasionally comes back. At least he has his way of income Loves his sister. Doesnt quite get her creative works but acts full supportive regardless. Just kind of a funny and ridiculous person in general and sometimes writes oddly deep philosophical poetry. Has been putting up stuff on the internet for years and gains plenty followers, and sometimes got donation from them. Actually it also sorta kickstarted his sister’s artist career due to his constant promotion (or perhaps simply wont shut up about her) Personality-wise, aside from the usual weirdo facade, he is in fact cunning, opportunistic, and a little bit too good at psychological manipulation  Skills: Dodge 40% First Aid 40% Locksmith 31% Hide 40% Psychoanalysis 41% Library Use 75% Spot Hidden 65% Persuade 55% Bargain 40% Art <Poetry> 45% Psychology 70% Natural History 40% History 40%

[choisgirls]

hihi! would it be out of the question to ask for a smart but silly mc? like an mc that people think is dumb because they like to show more than their intelligence? i've been struggling with finding a balance between the two so people will think i'm smart as well as funny. someday i will be both in the eyes of many but for now one of your lovely imagines/headcanons would make me very happy. i really love your blog! keep up the great work and i hope you have an amazing day!!!

A/N: Aaa thank youlove ;u; im really glad you like the writing!!! sorry i end up talking so muchbecause im trash™ but still!! it means a lot~(also i struggle with this alot? Just be whatever you’d like to be love! doesnt matter what others think~ ithink you’re amazing~ ^^)

like there reallyshouldnt be a need to hide your intelligence level, sweetheart. Being smartisn’t something to be ashamed of ^^ and if people cant handle it then well fuckthem they arent worth your time

Masterlist~

*YOOSUNG:

-Honestly you werepretty goofy, but he loved it!

-Always wants someoneto joke and play games with

-But one day he wasstressing over this big test he had and he just… couldn’t… understand themath problem??

-You walked in to himbanging his head against the coffee table- you had to throw your handunderneath him so he couldn’t do it anymore. He was gonna knock himself out ifhe kept doing that!

-When you asked himwhat’s wrong, he’s starting to slowly get harder and harder to understandbecause he’s about to cry- but you’ve got to calm him down and wait until hecan tell you clearly

-You sit him down andlook over the problem. Internally, he’s panicking because? Oh no? He can’tunderstand it, would looking at it upset you?

-When you wrote thesteps and answer down, he looked at the paper and had to blink a few times. Youdid it! You did it correctly, too…. how?

-Didn’t want to berude because you were amazing and smart in your own way! But? You just…answered this seamlessly, how?

-You explained to himthat you’ve actually got a pretty good grip on your math skills- you tend to bethe highest in any of your math classes and you’re always willing to help himfigure it out

-You could easily havea degree in mathematics and he can never look at you the same way again. His carefree,sometimes oblivious s/o is also really smart. How did he not see it before?!

*ZEN:

-He’s smart but to adegree- definitely wouldn’t tell you with confidence that he was book smart

-Knows more streetknowledge, but he can hold his own in the schooling department

-Who is he kidding, hehas a dinosaur for a computer.

-So even if you werealoof, it wouldn’t bother him in the slightest~

-But one day, in thechatroom, Jaehee and Jumin had started to talk about business and profits

-Behind the screen, theboth of you were sitting together as he started to complain to you that he hadno idea what they were saying

-So you took time toexplain it all while he stares at you in disbelief

-When you start to getself-conscious of the fact he’s staring at you and saying nothing, he tries toassure you that it’s not a bad thing, he just didn’t know that side of you!

-Honestly I don’tthink it would change the way he thinks about you, he’s fine with both sides ofyou!

-If anything, he’shappy he has someone to explain a few things he may not get at first

*JAEHEE:

-She likes the sillyside of you because she’s always so serious

-Or she at least justappears that way to people, in reality she’s silly just like you are

-Just…. more privateabout it than you are! You’re more open about being carefree and silly~

-Sometimes you remindher of Saeyoung which is okay but sometimes it gets out of hand and she worriesabout you

-Like… you can holdyour own, right? You aren’t… always oblivious, are you? Please tell heryou’re aware of your surroundings, at least

-She’s watched youwalk away from lunch and have to run right back because you forgot your walletthere. She’s counted- it’s been 13 times now

-But apparently you’rejust.. forgetful?

-Because she’s watchedyou spit out fraction conversions when the two of you are baking together

-You can mess around,get flour all over you, and turn red and giggle while she dusts off yourcheeks, but the second she asks you to double the amount of brown sugar, you’reimmediately throwing out the numbers

-Sometimes she throwsconversions at you when you’re being extremely goofy and she just wants to makesure you’ve still got it

-She likes both sidesof you, she doesn’t see why you tend to hide one but she won’t pressure you toshow one more than the other

*JUMIN:

-Constantly remindingyou to calm down

-There are times thatyou need to be serious and you just aren’t

-It doesn’t bother himor anything but sometimes he’s tired of hearing others get so worked up aboutit

-Because it’s none oftheir business? He loves how carefree and fun you can be

-It’s a nice change ofpace compared to how he’s basically a piece of stale bread most of the time

-He lets himself getsilly around you, though, because you’ve unlocked that privilege~

-When someone came upand had told him that you were practically as dense as concrete, he stood upand was ready to defend you in a heartbeat

-Except you just satback, looked them in the eyes, and with a vast vocabulary of high end and*ahem* choice words, you told them it was none of their business how youdecided to act and maybe they should take a breath and calm down themselves

-Which left both themand Jumin in shock, because you brought up their numbers and stock dropswithout even blinking an eye in their direction

-So you /could/ beserious when you wanted! That was good to know, maybe he should try to provokeyou every now and again, see how serious you really could be?

*SAEYOUNG:

-Everyone thought hewas silly??? They didn’t know the /both/ of you

-Though everyone alsoknew how smart he was, you, on the other hand….

-He knew yourbackground and he knew what you’ve accomplished with your intelligence

-So he knew how smartyou could be, and he wasn’t positive why you decided to hide it

-One day, he’s tellingeveryone about this new program he was adding to the app, but was too excitedto explain it in words everyone could understand

-Taking the liberty totranslate, you not only explained it in simpler terms, you also kept spittingwords no one could understand while you asked for more details from Saeyoung

-And in all honesty,sometimes he has you type up some of his coding so he can take a break and eatmore chips

-When you /told/ himto rest but you know how he works, so he just sits and watches you

-Is always in awebecause you really don’t come off in this light- you just like to have fun andmess around

-But you know what hasto happen now right? Always place bets and play trivia games against everyoneelse, that’s what

*JIHYUN:

-Yes, dear god, becarefree with him

-That’s one of hisfavourite personality traits- being silly and just running through life

-Doesn’t even care ifyou seem naive, he’s sure you’re smart in your own way

-Like maybe in a deep,philosophical way! He can dig it

-Honestly, he isn’tone to judge someone based off of intelligence so you could have the IQ of agoldfish but if you’re rich in personality and love then he’s completelysmitten

-On the other end ofthe rainbow, he’d be completely okay with it if you were smarter than him,again just…. doesn’t mind

-So if you’re thissilly and carefree and are /also/ super smart then just /WOW/ he doesn’t knowhow to really react

-He just wants you tofeel comfortable enough to be yourself, not to hide a whole half of yourself

-If you’re smart thenbe smart! If you’re goofy, be goofy! You’re both? Sweet! Show it! There’s noshame!

-He has questionsabout anything? Immediately asking you so you know that he cares about everyaspect of you, not just one

*SAERAN:

-God just fucking stop

-Honestly he canhandle a little bit

-But if you’re to theextreme of his brother he can’t always handle you and just wants you to hush

-Also really concernedfor you though? Like you aren’t aware of yourself or your surrounding a lot

-I mean come on hetalked you into going into someone’s apartment, you were not the most cautiousperson

-Not to mention youthought it would be a good idea to, oh I don’t know, go poking around in thebusiness of a cult

-Really he thought youwere an idiot but he still for some reason loved you so here you two are now

-Though the first timehe fell asleep at the computer around you and woke up to his code finished, hewas surprised

-Then he was…amixture of angry and surprised because why didn’t he know about your secretintelligence and why didn’t you tell him

-He could’ve used youas an assistant ages ago while he was in Mint Eye if he had known! But nnoooyou had to go and hide it

-Encourages you to letyour intelligence show more often because there isn’t a need to hide it in thefirst place, it doesn’t change who you are inside

[videostak]

also so tempted to buy cosmic partners cause im so worried of it going out of print and of it dissappearing off ebay... cause all the listings of it are from like official CD manufactures/sellers and whatnot so if those stop selling/pressing it there prolly wont be any1 selling it since it isnt like tremendously popular i bet lol. but i might make some money selling some old games to a friend of a friend 2morrow and then am gonna go to the record store :) so ill prolly wait a week or two and see how i feel money wise and then maybe buy it if i feel good. tho i already deleted the ebay app off my phone but ill just log in on my laptop if i do end up deciding to buy it. main reasons are that the audio quality is better in that concert(red rhodes is way clearer to here) and they do some red rhodes instrumentals and michael nesmith’s talking inbetween songs is funny while on the roundhouse CD his talking is more philosophical and stuff(theres still some funny stuff there too tho lol)

[justplainsimon]

I feel like a real bitch,

I'm tryin to do shit for myself, but i need info

My parents are transphobic

The more i winge about my problems makes me look more like a girl

The more i hide my problems makes it look like i'm either some form of r*tarded or not that big a deal

I don't have alot of support irl because i don't want people knowing who i am now, maybe in the future, but not now, im not at my 100% right now

Clinics gatekeeping, parents are transphobic,turns out my mom has my birth control perscription when i could go on something not estrogine based, and gender isn't a race to be won but you HAVE to show SIGNS unless you're faking it or your your just trying to over compinsate for your lack of this this or this throughout your childhood and adolescense so you should hold off until youre 25 or 30 when you have a job, have a car, have a family and a house no rent to pay. All the while i have apps. To make, things to schedule, i fall asleep either too early or too late, i'm in financial and job limbo.

I have no idea whats going on in other countries and thats what gets me

Im distracted

all the while i'm kind of neuturing myself intellectually, philosophically and i need to study up more on japan's history, language, culture fuckin... spiritual...isms

Maybe Korea's

And stop fucking daydreaming

But on the bright side, i don't have...

.......the bad thoughts™