#i read one of the other posts w how entitled he is and yeah ...it just feels v sudden to watch him turn violent suddenly so it seems more

[diomedrian]

God Perseus is so disgusting and violent and I want to kill him

[thatonesongyouretryingtoremember]

Generating some

Elumax incorrect quotes

During post lemon and queueuing them <2

Generator

Also if ur unfamiliar w/ my incorrect quotes the rating out of 10 is how accurate they are imo

------

Lucas: Want to hear a hard riddle?

El: Sure.

Lucas: A rooster laid an egg on a roof. Which way did it roll?

El: ...down?

Lucas: N-

Max: Who cares about which way it rolled, it would be scrambled eggs by then.

Lucas:

Lucas: No, it's that roosters don't lay eggs... Jesus Christ...

8/10 accuracy rating annzbxbhdhdbvxbdb they're literally adorable <2

------

*El is telling a story*

Max: Wow, El, this story has everything! Action! Adventure! Romance!

Lucas: Romance?

Max: I have a crush on them.

5/10 accuracy this means everything to me

------

Max: *finds a note* Hmm, whats this?

El: Hey, that's mine! *tries to grab it*

Max: Aww, it's a love note for Lucas?

El: No-

Max: *opens it*

Max:

El:

Max: I can't read this.

3/10 what is goinging on

------

Lucas: Yesterday, I overheard El saying “Are you sure this is a good idea?” and Max replying “Trust me,” and I have never moved from one room to another so quickly in my life.

8/10 but that's how you get spied on

------

Max: Five little monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and…

El: Was diagnosed with mesothelioma.

Max: Mamma called the doctor and the doctor said…

Lucas: You might be entitled to financial compensation if he or a loved one dies.

Um

------

Lucas: Which movie are you and Max going to see tonight?

El: Oh, I always go to whichever movie Max wants.

Lucas: Which one do they want to see?

El: I haven't decided yet.

5/10 elmax movie nights REAL

------

El: Make no mistake. Not only am I party rocking, but I am also in the house tonight.

Lucas: But are you shuffling?

El: Everyday.

Max: What language are you two speaking??

5/10

------

Lucas: Make no mistake. Not only am I party rocking, but I am also in the house tonight.

El: But are you shuffling?

Lucas: Everyday.

Max: What language are you two speaking??

10/10 Lucas saying "make no mistake" with the utmost confidence <22

------

El: So... what’s goin’ on?

Lucas: You want the long version or the short version?

El, hesitantly: The short one, I guess?

Lucas: Shit’s fucked.

El: Oh. Well, yeah, that’s definitely not an optimal situation.

10/10 the fact this was the one Max wasn't speaking in their name for Max is "the short one"

------

*Lucas teaching El to drive and taking Max along for the ride*

Lucas: That's a pothole. To the left!

El: Take it back now y'all *Drives into pothole*

Max, sticking their face into the front over the center console: Cha Cha real smooth.

El: I don't think that's how the song goes.

Lucas, crying and gripping the handle: Please just take me home.

El: Country Roads.

Max: To the place.

El and Max in unison: I Belong!

Lucas, crying harder: What the fuck?

10/10 let Lucas be frustrated with their chaotic antics challenge let El drive challenge let Max be happy challenge

------

El: I need 28 lightbulbs for 28 ducks.

Lucas: Ducks can’t eat lightbulbs?

Max: I think that’s the point.

El: Exactly. I want my ducks to glow so I can find them.

7/10 so THAT'S what they were planning...

------

Lucas: What’s it like being tall?

Lucas: Is it nice?

Lucas: Can you reach comfortably for the cupboards?

El: We live in constant fear of the short ones who, in my experience, will climb 4 chairs, 2 boxes, a small coffee table and 6 oddly placed stools to get what they want.

Max: It was one time!

10/10 El being the tallest and strongest and Max being the shortest REAL

------

El: Guys, Max is missing.

Lucas: Good.

3/10 dw guys he means bc she's awake 😅

------

Lucas: So... who's the big spoon and who's the little spoon?

El: We're chopsticks!

Lucas: Well... that's cute!

Lucas: Does that mean you two snuggle together perfectly?

Max: No, it means that if you take the other away, the only thing the other is good for is stabbing.

10/10 accuratte

------

El, in a high voice, holding Barbie: Hey, Ken! I was thinking about going back to school and starting a career!

Max, in a deep voice, holding Ken: Nonsense, Barbie. You’re staying home and having my kids.

Lucas: What the fuck are you guys doing?

El: Playing systemic oppression.

10/10 but specifically during season 3

------

Max: You don't need my blessing to go kiss Lucas. In fact, I was pretty sure you were already kissing Lucas!

El: Nope.

Max: In that case, as the archbishop of El's fully awakened gaydom, I give you my blessing to immediately leave and rectify that as soon as possible! Go now, my child, and kiss Lucas right on the lips!!!

4/10 but transmasc/transboy queer El REAL and hopclair my beloved <2

------

Lucas: How did you even get in here?

Max: El's window! Or, as I like to call it, "Max's door"!

El: I’m closing the window.

El's staying at the Wheelers in ST5 Lucas was there to witness the gays panicking for a sleepover with Will and Mike

6/10

------

Lucas: Do you think different paints have different tastes?

El: They do.

Max: ...Why did you say that with such certainty?

7/10 not me rearranging all the quotes for Lucas to ask the philosophical questions- he's just such a curious soul <2

------

Max: If I say I love you, will you say it back?

Lucas: Yes.

Max: I love you.

Lucas: It back.

*Later*

El: Why is Max crying face-down on the floor?

10/10 the girls who get it get it

------

El & Lucas:*Playing video games*

Max: You guys woke up at 5:30 in the morning just to play games?

El: *silence*

Lucas: *silence*

Max, finally figuring it out: ...You two never went to sleep, did you?

El & Lucas in shame: Yeah...

6/10 Max had major fomo she was totally listening the whole night

------

Wait the site crashed but the next one was going to be ab the moon :(

------

That's all, folks

[sunlightmurdock]

katie, i love u so much, but i cannot imagine any of those braldey’s having a sibling😭

mfiy rooster is too toxic at first - if he had a sibling they would have smacked him. also he is so self entitled omg

same w/ tip rooster… i mean come on, he is the most only child rooster there is. he has no social awareness.

bbb rooster? i mean i would say he’s the closest to having a sibling out of the series roosters but i feel like he is sooo depressing it wouldn’t make sense for him to have one. he’s like an orphan. he’s so sad lol

now parent trap rooster could have one… but something feels off abt it. like it wouldn’t be his actual sibling, maybe mav had a kid a little after bradley was born so it’s like bradley’s god brother or something.

ceasefire bradley def is an only child & nat is like the closest thing he has to a sibling. also he’s with an older woman, he’s def an only child. may he’s the oldest with a younger sister but idk.

safe zone rooster is WAYYY too sneaky to not be an only child. i don’t trust that man.

the odessy rooster is literally richard from friends who was also prob an only child.

sub rosa cares way too much abt lil kazansky to not be an only child. she is basically his only family.

now i haven’t read ashes, ashes so i can’t speak on it.

if any bradley had a sibling i think it would probably be older bf! rooster or firefighter! rooster. older bf would have a younger sister (who is friends with reader, ik how controversial of me) & firefighter would have a younger brother who would 100% be like best friends with jake & javy.

First of all, this is absolutely incredible! You literally made me laugh out loud with this. (Btw, this post is not to hate on only children, I’m sure you’re all lovely)

If MFIY Bradley had a sibling, after seeing how much Jake has gotten roped into doing, they would have run for the hills lmao 😭

TiP Rooster screams only child energy because he hasn’t learned how to share. Also a big reason he did what he did is because he’s clinging to this idea of building a family for himself, even though deep down it’s not what he wants — and thus sabotages repeatedly.

You did not have to do BBB Rooster like that omgggg 😭😭 you’re so right though. He lost everything. In my head, he’s the one that’s most likely to have had a sibling. He’s probably got a little sister that wants nothing to do with him because of the way he used to act.

Yeah I can see Parent Trap Rooster having some cousins, or like a step / god-sibling that they grew up close in age to like you suggested. So maybe he didn’t have biological siblings but he definitely grew up surrounded by other kids.

Ceasefire Rooster definitely values his friends a lot, and doesn’t really see himself having kids of his own. I can see that he probably wouldn’t have had any siblings either.

If Safe Zone Rooster did have any siblings… he probably doesn’t after the apocalypse lmao 😬

hahahaha not Richard from friends, we love him around here except for his creepy relationship w Monica. Yeah Bradley enjoys his own company a lot, and I’ve expressly stated in the fic that he didn’t like his cousins that he grew up with either 😂

Plus if Sub Rosa Roo had siblings, he might not have been at Mav’s house that one thanksgiving and might not have even gotten to know lil Kazansky.

Omgggg though, older!bf Bradley also being best friend’s brother Bradley?? 😭 the drama!! I love this idea so freaking much

And firefighter!Bradley and his brother would be such frat boys haha, I feel like they would absolutely dominate at beer pong. They would definitely be best friends 🥹

[pub-lius]

Martha Washington for richie my beloved menace <3

sorry this is late, but we're in the final stretch of this where it's my Main Focuses (washington, lafayette, burr, and hamilton), so these posts are going to be a bit more separated and in multiple posts bc i just have so much information on them. all my sources for the Washingtons come from Mount Vernon and the Washington papers, other information comes from an assortment of biographies. anyway, enjoy these old white people @thereallvrb0y <3

~~~

Born as Martha Dandridge on June 2, 1731 at Chestnut Grove Plantation in New Kent County, Virginia, Martha was the eldest of eight children of John Dandridge and Frances Jones. John immigrated to America in 1714 and was the son of an English craftsman. Frances was the daughter of a member of the Virginia House of Burgesses. They got married in 1730 when Frances was 20 and John was 30 because all these men were creeps. John was a moderately successful planter, and came to enslave 15-20 people. Their family belonged to minor local gentry, so while not in the Virginia aristocracy as I like to call it, they were still known and respected.

Martha received a typical female education in housekeeping, religion, reading, writing, music, and dancing. She grew to be about five feet tall with brown hair and either brown or hazel eyes.

In her late teens, Daniel Parke Custis thought she was hot, and it was totally fine that he was 20 years older than her because he was a very eligible bachelor. No, like actually really eligible as in rich, because he was so rich that his dad didn't want him to marry Martha because she wasn't rich enough. But eventually he was "as much enamored with her character as [his son was] with her person." Creepy!

But, they didn't ask for my opinion, and got married in May 1750. They had four children, two who died as toddlers. These were Daniel Custis (1751-1754) who probably died of malaria, Frances Custis (1753-1757), John "Jacky" Parke Custis (1754-1781), and Martha "Patsy" Parke Custis (1756-1773). Funny story, their great-grandfather had a condition that only children with the name Parke would receive inheritance, so idk why Daniel and Frances were screwed over since birth, bc that seems a bit prejudiced.

Anyway, they moved into Custis' house called White House (foreshadowing) on the Pamunkey River. Side note, what the fuck is going on with Virginia's rivers and why are they all so... like that??? I guess I can't talk, since I know how to pronounce Natchitoches like it's an everyday term.

The death of Danny boy's dad made him one of the richest men in Virginia. Common Custis W. He exported tobacco and had immense holdings, over 300 enslaved people and over 17,500 acres of land. Get it Martha.

Martha became the mistress of her household, which was a really significant role for any upper class woman in Virginia, but also because women were expected to be "purveyors of sociability". In simple terms, they held the family's shit together. Martha presided over formal dinners, entertained guests, and hosted balls. She also furnished her house with the finest goods to make sure everyone knew how much of a bad bitch she was.

This job also included being the mistress of the enslaved people working in the household. She acted as the overall supervisor of the household which eventually included 12 enslaved people. And she was highkey racist, so fair warning for this quote.

"The Blacks are so bad in their nature that they have not the least grat[i]tude for the kindness that may be shewed to them." -Martha Washington, 1795

What the fuck, Martha??? I'm sure you wouldn't be very happy about your circumstances if you had some entitled white lady being pissy about everything you did all the time.

She never actually expressed her views on slavery, but she didn't question it, so like. yeah she was racist. Also she was really pissed when Ona Judge escaped enslavement, feeling like she was betrayed. Like bitch. Come on. Also she never freed any of the enslaved people who she had the legal ability to.

Oh yeah and she had motherly responsibilities, which is a whole job within itself on top of all the other shit. Luckily, she had experience raising her younger siblings bc yk. Eldest daughter syndrome.

Daniel died on July 8, 1757, and I wouldn't say I'm happy about it but like.................

This death kinda fucked her over. There's no evidence she really liked him that much, but she was left alone at 26 with two children, which really sucks. Other than that, she was popping her pussy bc like. She inherited a third of his property, nearly 300 enslaved people, over 17,500 acres of land and over £40,000 so.

She couldn't legally free or sell those enslaved people because they were already "owned" by the next generation (the whole legal aspect of this bullshit is so uselessly complicated, that's all you need to know to understand). Daniel didn't leave a will, so she was the executioner of his estate. When she died, the estate would automatically transfer to her descendants.

This gave her almost all the legal rights of a man. She could buy and sell property, make contracts, and be sued in court. However, she still considered financial matters to be a man's concern EVEN THOUGH SHE GIRLBOSSED THROUGH IT HERSELF whatever. She likely hoped for another relationship for companionship and also children. Missed opportunity.

Her status as a super fucking rich widow became known and a bunch of dudes wanted in on the marthussy (that is a direct quote from my notes and i just though you had to see that). Annnnnyway, because she didn't have a need for a financial advantage, it would be a love match.

Convenient! She met this dude named George Washington. He's pretty underground, but you might have heard of him.

He was traveling to Williamsburg in March 1758 during a break in the French and Indian War. We don't know when their first meeting was, but it could have been while Daniel was alive because they had mutual friends. Scandalous.

Washington paid a visit to her house on March 16, 1758, and left a generous tip to her enslaved household workers, probably to impress her. Fucking nerd. He visited again on the 25th, then returned to war like a real man.

However, they began to plan a future together within months. Washington started renovating Mount Vernon, and Martha made an order for wedding finery. They were both such dorks.

She trusted and loved George quickly, which is shown by the fact that, although some widows wrote contracts protecting their assets, Martha didn't. Washington would have use of her portion of land inherited from her previous husband until it was passed down to the Custis heirs, and he would also become her children's legal guardian, and she just trusted him with all that.

At the end of 1758, Washington resigned from the military, and on January 6, 1759, they got married at their new home in New Kent County.

They lived 16 years at Mount Vernon, referred to as "the golden years". They had no children of their own, but raised Jacky and Patsy, and lived typical Virginian planter lives. George oversaw lands and business while being involved in politics and society, while Martha supervised the education of the children, domestic operations, and the whole mistress of the household thing. She also oversaw the making of textiles and production of clothing for the entire household. These were pretty typical gender roles for the time.

The golden years ended with the death of Patsy from an epileptic seizure in the summer of 1773 at the age of 17. More information about the Custis kids and their deaths in this ask.

Martha strongly supported the Revolutionary War, and had a wild ride during it. She traveled all over the country to spend time with George at his winter encampments every year of the six that Washington served as Commander-in-Chief. She now had another role as a public figure and a figure of the Revolution.

She ended up being with him for almost half of the Revolution, and Washington regarded her presence as essential as she boosted morale across the Continental Army. Washington even sought reimbursement from Congress for her traveling expenses.

While at camp, she entertained visiting diplomats and officers' wives, assisted with secretarial duties, even being considered a part of Washington's staff. She was Washington's closest confidant.

She also made efforts to improve the lives of soldiers. She became the public face of a campaign to raise money for supplies in 1780, and was a symbol of the American people.

The Revolution ended in her life when Washington came home at the end of the war to have Christmas dinner with his wife.

They were chillin at Mount Vernon for six years after the war, raising their two grandchildren, this time paralleling the golden years. The main difference was the fact that Washington was an international celebrity, and they hosted hundreds of guests each year from around the world, dramatically increasing Martha's workload.

Then they fucking elected Washington as the president after the whole Constitution thing, and Martha was Reasonably Pissed.

She left Mount Vernon on May 16th with Washington's punk ass nephew and their grandchildren. The trip sucked and everything went to shit. They had bad horses, a broken carriage, and a shitty boat ride. They went through parades and receptions, and the kids learned social skills, but Martha was fucking exhausted.

Like her husband, she took criticism personally during his administration. However, the most important thing to her was having good entertainment as the first lady. She initiated weekly receptions on Friday evenings, receiving congressmen, dignitaries, and local community members at the President's House. Critics, however, complained that these events were too aristocratic, but they served as a sign that the new government would be close to the people. Washington also held events, but Martha's were more diverse.

Martha grew more comfortable in her role when the capital moved to Philadelphia in 1791. Her longing to return home was highlighted by the second fucking term. They eventually did go home in March 1797.

George only lived for two years after retiring, leaving Martha as a devastated widow. She burned 40 years of correspondence between them in order to preserve their privacy.

Martha died of illness on May 22, 1802 at her home, surrounded by grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

[chuuyrr]

ooh how about scarlet witch! baby fushiguro! reader somehow meets toji. (spoiler warning) kind of like how megumi met toji in chapter 113.

scarlet witch! baby fushiguro! reader meets toji

jujutsu kaisen x reader

masterlist of the series

warning(s): major manga/anime spoilers, sad theme

haven't done any jjk content in a long while so here it goes :) check out my tokyo revengers series entitled venom of you still haven't read it! sorry if it's quite short :(

it was a cold november and your father, gojo, decided to take you out that evening to treat you some kikufuku and enjoy the weather even if it hasn't snowed yet.

you were bundled with a scarf, a thick sweater, gloves, ear muffs, leggings and boots to keep you warm.

while waiting for your father to buy his and your favorite treat from the food stall, you couldn't help but wander around. you had gotten bored and he was taking too long. it was only (not) right for you to take a small walk.

with your chaos magic, not only were you able to see cursed spirits but ghosts. but this time, it wasn't geto's spirit. you saw a different one, a ghost that looked strange yet familiar at the same time—something about him made you beckoned towards him.

you made your way towards the ghost that was sitting on a bench under a lamp post. you didn't understand how or why you couldn't decipher who he actually was.

you watched with keen eyes as he lifted his sad gaze from the ground and to look at you, and when your eyes met. his eyes widened.

you mirrored his surprised expression, did you just spook a ghost?

"you can see me?"

"yeah?"

"you're not supposed to see me."

"i know, but it's kind of my thing you see.."

toji was impressed at the extent of your gift. he wanted to tell you how proud he was, but from the way you looked at him—he could tell you had forgotten him. you don't remember anything about him, because of you did, you would have already done a different reaction.

"why are you sad?"

"..."

toji wondered if empathy was part of your capabilities. it was a surprising for someone at your age to be able to read emotions or feelings—or maybe he was just being obvious?

a bit too obvious with what he was feeling. either way, you were right. sadness runs through him, as well as guilt and shame, and it worsened when he saw you standing right here and now.

it was a flurry of wild emotions. he was glad and relieved to see you alive and well. you had gotten a bit taller and you looked just like your mother, but you somewhat had your father's eyes too.

"ah! mister! why are you crying?"

"huh..?"

it took toji to realize that tears were rolling down his face the longer he stared at you. he didn't know what to say to you.

how was he going to tell you that he was your real father? how sorry he was for having to leave you and his other children behind?

then, it suddenly clicked him. toji remembered leaving you in gojo's care.

"what's your name?"

"huh? oh! my name's fushiguro, [name]!"

"fushiguro.."

with that, a smile graced on toji's lips. that was all he needed to hear. he was relieved to find out that even if gojo raised you, you still carried his name. it was a reminiscent of him after all.

"what about you? what's your name?"

"... i don't remember my name."

"oh, that sucks."

you frowned, it must not be nice to have forgotten something important like your own name. but then again, you couldn't blame him. he was a ghost.

perhaps, you could make him remember? with your chaos magic, maybe you do something. if you could just touch him and help him—

"kikufuku! there you are!"

before your hand could even reach the ghost, you were suddenly lifted from the ground. you looked up to come face-to-face with your worried father.

"what are you doing out here, baby? i've been looking everywhere for you! i got us kikufuku."

a part of toji wished that it was him who'd treat and call like you that, but at the same time it made him happy. happy to see that gojo satoru had fulfilled his promise.

not only did gojo looked after you, but he raised you with love and care which toji could tell from the way a bright smile beamed across your face as gojo pecked the top of your head, coddling you in his arms as he carried you.

you were whisked away by gojo who claimed that it was time for the two of you to go home since it has gotten colder. if only he knew it was because of the presence of a ghost nearby.

before you disappeared from his sight once again, you hunched over gojo's shoulder flashed toji a smile. the same, familiar smile you'd give him in the past, and waved him goodbye.

toji sat there, surprised, but a smile crept on his face not long after. he eventually returned your wave.

"goodbye, princess."

[lilac-melody]

hi i'm new to the heroines run the show fanbase! i see a lot of your posts and just wanted to ask why do you not like liphiyo? don't the guys like her? also am i allowed to follow you?

Hello! Welcome to the fandom, first off! Yes, following me is fine, if you're okay with the fact I don't ship the "main ot3" and ship aiyuu and nagihiyo instead (and consistently lovemail them)

As for why I don't like the ship and your other question...

Well, the short answer: I just don't vibe with it.

For the long answer...tagging this as "ship hate" even though it's not really hating? I'm just gonna explain why I don't like it, why I prefer aiyuu/nagihiyo, and ramble about spoilers for the movie/anime/novels.

If you really like the main ot3 and the other variations of them, consider yourself warned if you read ahead. These are my personal opinions and everyone is entitled to them.

Where do I start..?

Well, I guess first off, when I joined the fandom back in 2020, I was actually fine with the ship. Above neutral but below "I ship it". A lot of fans on twt and yt comments ruined it completely for me, though. A lot of rude people who scream at aiyuu fans when they're just in their own bubble. Some who scream "the novel has so much content for them, you look ridiculous!" and calling us fujoshis. (Granted, I know there are some aiyuu fans who are way too extreme and rude and harasss others and I want to clarify that this is NOT okay either!! However, I've seen much less of those than I have of people who ship Hiyori with any or both of the two LIPxLIP boys)

Another reason...is given the boys backstories, and how much they went through even before they met Hiyori, they had a strong bond. Their bonds only get stronger with new content that pops up.

Aizou doesn't want a girlfriend. He said so himself as well.

And given he has trauma with women thanks to his abusive and alcoholic mother, he's likely not going to change his mind just because a girl is sporty and not feminine. I can relate to that.

I have trauma with men. I'm 100% fine being friends with men, but I can never see myself dating a man.

As for Yujiro, he's a loner who has never had any friends until he met Aizou. I personally don't see him getting easily emotionally attached to anyone, especially in a romantic sense. I feel like he's kind of on the ace spectrum, somewhere? Demiromantic gay? Given that Yujiro is shown to be annoyed with girls but he's more comfortable being around guys. (And yeah, one can chalk that up to him being being an awkward teenage guy, but again, everyone's entitled to their own opinion)

With what they have gone through in the movie (which is finally english subbed. It's fan-subbed, so it's not on any official sites, but I personally use gogoanime since you don't have to really fight tooth and nail to make gross ads go away lol), as well as the Romeo novel, one can really see their bond and how they grow to care so much about each other.

Their stories are always about how they grow as a team. The hanipre events show us this as well. They're translated somewhere on tumblr. There's "If I go on a Trip with You", the Valentine's Event, the White Day Event, and the Halloween Event. And of course, the solo events. These events are all about Aizou and Yujiro and their bond, which only grows more and more.

What is LIPxLIP's story with Hiyori?

Getting used to having her around as their manager, and helping her dress up to become a heroine and, in the MV, confess to the "mystery boy" she likes. In the anime, it's to prove to her childhood friend that she can be pretty too, given Hiyori opened up about her insecurity with being feminine.

Now, the anime...

I'm not gonna lie here, you shouldn't really look to the anime for what's canon, and what's not canon. They took away a lot of what made these three characters stories charming. They also changed up a lot of the characters personalities and made everything so ridiculous and...it was just...straightbait. Even in episode 5, which I consider to be one of the better episodes (1 - 8 were good, 9 - 12 were not), the anime team made Yume Fanfare seem as though the song is made for Hiyori.

It wasn't. These two have a personal moment before their first concert with this song, and they dedicated the song to each other. (Also, Yamako's fanbox states that the song is for them, so...no idea what the team was thinking, tbh? Kinda lied to everyone, and if you're unfamiliar with the lore, then it can definitely be misleading).

I already made a post about my grievances with Herotaru here though, so if you want to read why you shouldn't accept that as canon, go read that. I'll just end up repeating myself too much and making this longer than it already is.

I got off track.

Anyway, so...to me, while forcing the boys- after everything they go through together and the suspiciously homoerotic things they do (like, canonically applying kiss marks to each other...)

...into a relationship with a girl, in which their story arc mostly revolves around helping her get a boyfriend...I just can't see it. It feels very comphet to me. (And, given I myself have trauma with being comphet for most of my life, I have very strong feelings about that)

(Also, twice, they have something about keeping a secret..? I dunno, feels a bit too sus for me. Here's to hoping it's not just queerbait lol. The second image is for Samishigariya which, you should 100% check out. It literally compares Aiyuu with Shibarisa. They're both singing of love to their most important person...which is another reason why I don't think that Aizou or Yujiro like Hiyori. If they did, why haven't they gotten an MV yet? Sure, Nonfantasy exists, but that MV was just a dream on Hiyori's part, and dreams don't really have to mean anything. She fell asleep watching the Nonfan MV, so of course she's gonna end up thinking about it. I have a whole rant about that from a psychologist perspective but that's not for here...anyway, the MV here proves that the two care more about each other than anyone else- otherwise, other people would have been shown as well)

Anyway, onto Hiyori...

Now, I love Hiyori. I really do- she's one of my favorite fem characters of honeyworks. She's adorable and relatable. That being said, I personally think she can do better than Aizou or Yujiro (who have a LOT of trauma with them anyway and I don't think she can handle all of their baggage, and the fact that she doesn't know their trauma, but they know the extent of each other's trauma...anyway, I digress).

She's always thinking about how cruel the two were, in the novels. She's dreaded being in their presence multiple times and they've made her genuinely cry. She has also thought "they make me feel so stupid" (which...idk about anyone else, but if someone makes me feel stupid, even if it's a super hot woman, I really don't think I'd want to be in a relationship with them...but eh, whatever you're into?)

Are they good friends? Yes! And I LOVE their friendship! I think their friendship is super important!

Do I think there's any romantic undertones? ...No.

A problem I have with Hiyori with the guys is...they just...don't work out that way, imho. I mean, when Hiyori went back to her usual self after her makeover, the guys were upset and confused.

To which, she replied that she shouldn't be wearing dresses when she runs. (She's finally accepted herself and knows she can be a heroine)

One can say that the two were just curious, but...no, they're actually pretty shallow with women. In the MV, they made her dress up because in their eyes, no one will accept her love if she's not conventionally attractive.

I dunno, that kind of thing never sat right with me. It only amplified in the anime seeing them mock her about being a heroine when she was finally happy with herself. Sure, they were only teasing her, or that they genuinely wanted to help her, but the way it went about it just felt off to me.

For Hiyori, being paired with a guy who would want her to dress up more and be more like the typical woman, vs someone who loves her no matter what, it doesn't feel like it's right for her either.

For the boys being paired with her, to me, it feels like comphet.

For Hiyori, being paired with them, it feels less validating that she's a heroine no matter what she looks like.

I also made a post about why I think nagihiyo works, which you can read here, if you want to read about why I personally think Nagisa is the best fit for Hiyori.

AGAIN, THIS IS ALL MY OWN PERSONAL OPINION. IF YOU HAVE OTHER TAKES OR DISAGREE, THAT IS FINE!!!

I prefer to just stay in my own little aiyuu community bubble and I don't touch the liphiyo, yuuhiyo, or aihiyo bubbles. They have their own communities they can vibe in.

I do think, however, we can all co-exist. Let's bond about the other ships.

Let's talk about sarauru. Let's talk about shibarisa or kotahina. (or, if you really want a good OT3, I recommend kazufuuyui. It's not really a popular ship, since pretty much all of their content is in Fuuma's novel, but I personally like those three, and all variations of the ship! So I'm happy with kazufuuma, fuuyui, and kazuyui...but this post isn't about that! I'll happily accept asks about why I love it though!)

So, yeah. Those are why I don't ship liphiyo, or the other few variations of the ship. Of course, there's another very personal reason, but I'm not comfortable disclosing that in public, and I don't trust just anyone with the information.

I love their friendship to pieces, but I just can't see them in a romantic light.

Especially when a lot of their interactions remind me of me and my older brother and his friends??? Like- a lot of the Yujiro and Hiyori interactions in the novel just reminded me of me and my brother, because we've done a lot of similar things. And in the anime, those actions were transferred to Aizou and Hiyori. So, seeing them as a couple makes me think of me and my brother which ...is very gross to think about lmaooo.

Anyway, sorry that this is so long. If you still ship them, good for you. Like I said earlier, everyone is entitled to their own opinion. This ^ is just mine. And we can still talk about other ships we do agree with. It's not hard to just avoid talking about the ships we disagree with.

I like looking at couples and their impact on each other. If something is canon and healthy, then I'll ship it. If it's not canon but healthier than the canon ships, then I'll ship it and not whatever is canon. I just prefer to analyze the relationship before making a decision.

...Being queer myself also gives big bonus points. I get stupid happy seeing healthy same sex couples.

Anyway, that's all, for reals.

[raviotherabbit]

Reunion Tour - Chapter 1

note: this is an extended version of these two posts, with an ending added on.

[first] - [next] read it on ao3!

Chapter 1: Familiar Circumstances Wild and Warriors meet each other again.

- - - 

There were quite a few things Wild wanted to do this weekend. Like maybe sleep in for a bit, maybe cooking a special breakfast. They’d even been planning on visiting little Zelly, a promise that her mother was sure to scold them for not keeping.

Instead, they were rudely awoken by a rough collision with the dirt, and they quickly realized they weren’t in their soft waterbed in Zora’s Domain anymore. Blearily blinking their eyes open, Wild feels like they’ve been hit by Ruta’s Cryonis again.

They’re in the castle courtyard of Warriors’ time. Which, as they seem to recall, is tens of thousands of years removed from their own era.

“Oh great,” Wild scowls as the golden light fades behind them. Ten years since their tearful goodbyes with their fellow heroes, and all of a sudden, Hylia’s playing games again.

Wild pushes themself off the ground, dusting whatever they can off with their one arm. It’s only then, when several halberds are pointed right at their face, that they realize they have an audience.

“Stop right there!” one of the soldiers, presumably a higher ranking officer, shouts. “Put your hands in the air!”

Wild frowns, but some part of their mind still remembers Warriors’ lectures to respect authority in his era. It was always so annoying, especially since he was the only one who cared so much about how they were perceived by the guards, but the anger in his eyes after Wild’s third infraction for trespassing (it’s not like those people were USING their roofs!) was enough to convince them to behave. So, after a moment of hesitation, they raise their arm above their head.

“Both hands!” The guard juts his halberd closer to Wild’s face.

“This is all I’ve got, man.”

A lower ranking guard lifts the side of Wild’s poncho. “They’re telling the truth, sir,” they announce, gesturing to their missing right arm.

“W-well!” the officer stammers, and Wild can’t help but smirk. “Take them to a cell! Trespassing on castle grounds is no laughing matter!”

Wild rolls their eyes as one of the soldiers forcefully grabs their left arm. “You’re gonna regret this, you know.”

“Quiet you!” the senior officer snaps at them. “I’ll have no disrespect from magicians who infiltrate our defenses against the crown!”

“Fine,” Wild scoffs. “Hey, while you’re processing my intake paperwork or whatever, could you tell my brother where I am? He’ll be sooooo worried about me.”

The senior officer’s eye twitches. One of the lower ranking guards whispers, “It is protocol to inform citizens of incarcerated family members.”

“Alright! Alright!” the senior officer throws his hands up in frustration. “Just tell me and get out of here!”

“He’s the hero, Link. Ever heard of him?” Wild forces down a laugh as the officer’s face turns red. “Tell him Wild’s in prison again, and it’s not their fault this time!”

“Take them away!” the senior officer points the guard holding them towards the dungeon. “Now!”

And even though they’re being dragged into the dreaded dungeons of Hyrule Castle, Wild can’t help but laugh the entire time.

- - -

“You’re going to be in big trouble,” Wild lightly scratches at the rusty bars of their jail cell. They’re sitting on the nasty dungeon floor, legs crossed. “Seriously, it’s not too late to let me go.”

The guard stationed outside their cell sighs. “I’m not in charge of that.”

Wild huffs, pouting to themself. A little recognition wouldn’t hurt, would it? They were here all the time a decade ago! And even then, everyone knew they were with Wars. These kinds of theatrics and blunders are just rude!

“So, is Commander Link really your brother?”

Wild’s ear twitches when the guard speaks up. “Commander, huh? Wars got a promotion?”

“Uh, I-” the guard stammers. “I don’t-”

“Yeah, he’s pretty much my brother,” Wild answers. “It’s been a bit since I was in town, though.”

“YOU WHAT?!”

The shout rings through the dungeons, a shrill entitlement that Wild would know anywhere.

Wild clicks their tongue. “That’d be him,” they point their thumb towards the entrance to the dungeon. “You know, it’s been nice hanging out with you.”

“Don’t make it sound like I’m going to die.”

“I’ll put in a good word for you,” Wild promises, standing up and gripping onto one of the bars just as Warriors rounds the corner, flanked by the senior officer, who now looks flustered.

And that’s Wild’s confirmation that it’s been some time for their brother, as well. He’s sporting some well-manicured stubble, obviously, because everything about Wars is well-manicured. His hair is longer, tied back in a ponytail that reminds Wild of themself. Of course, they didn’t have a chance to do their hair before landing in the past, so it’s all loose and tangled.

“Wild?!” Warriors shouts, mostly in shock. “You’re really here?!”

“Oh thank goodness!” Wild feels like they could cry. “Wars get me out of here!”

“What are you doing here?” Wars ruffles their hair through the bars, a warm smile on both of their faces. “I thought we agreed, no more trespassing.”

“It’s not my fault, it was the portals!” Wild explains quickly. “They wouldn’t listen to me. I just woke up here!”

Hearing Wild’s poor circumstances, Wars snaps back towards the senior officer. “You ARRESTED my brother!”

“Your one-armed brother!” Wild pipes up from behind him.

“My ONE-ARMED- wait,” Warriors turns back to Wild, his tone suddenly soft as he looks at them with concern. “You lost your arm?”

Wild stares at Warriors blankly. “Don’t tell Twilight.”

“I’m not-!” Wars sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. “How would I even tell him?”

Wild simply shrugs.

“We’re talking about this later,” Warriors asserts, before turning to address the officer once again. His glare is cold, and his fury is burning. “I can’t BELIEVE that you saw a clearly disoriented individual in your courtyard and decided to ARREST THEM, of all things! Who is your superior, I’ll have to inform him-!”

Wild leans over to the guard, who’s standing frozen with fear next to the cell. “I told you,” they whisper.

- - -

“I’m hungry,” Wild whines, tugging at Warriors’ sleeve. “Can we get breakfast somewhere? I didn’t get to eat before I got arrested.”

Wars, in turn, shoots them a look of annoyance. He shrugs them off, continuing down the street. “You aren’t even the slightest bit concerned that the portals are opening again?”

“Please Wars I’m starving,” Wild begs. “I got pulled out of bed.”

Warriors sighs. “Fine. If you’re so insistent on breakfast, you can have free reign of my kitchen-” A sly smile creeps onto his face. “It’s been a while since I’ve had your cooking.”

“Oh, Sir Link, how generous of you, making your guest work!” Wild elbows him with their one good arm. “You see your dear sweet baby brother again after all this time-”

“You’re almost thirty, for Hylia’s sake!”

“Your BABY BROTHER,” Wild continues, “And all you can think about is what they can do for you.”

Suddenly and swiftly, Warriors pulls Wild into a headlock. “Why is it that every hero I meet is such a brat, huh?” he wonders aloud. “First the old man, then the sailor, and now you?”

“Don’t count yourself out, Commander,” Wild retorts, wiggling their way out of Wars’ grasp. “By the way, congrats on that promotion.”

“That was ages ago, it’s like you don’t keep up with me,” Wars scoffs playfully. “But seriously, I need you to cook for me again. I haven’t been the same without your home-cooked breakfasts.”

“Well, if you insist,” Wild relents. “Though I’m going to need a certain sous chef to help me.”

“That’s only fair,” Wars nods in agreement.

Warriors’ home is a townhouse deep in the heart of Castle Town, surrounded by a tall iron fence with pointed tips. The lawn is perfectly manicured, evenly cut grass and freshly trimmed roses. He’s silent as he unlocks the gate, as he leads Wild inside. Wars quickly closes the door behind them both, the sunlight trickling through the windows the only thing illuminating the darkened foyer.

It’s grand inside, that’s for sure. The blue carpet is soft and plush, and the wooden walls are filled with paintings and pictures. But something about it is… empty. Warriors awkwardly rubs at the back of his neck at Wild’s gaze.

“Kinda quiet around here,” Wild comments, but their face goes red when they realize the harshness of their words. “Uh, I mean it’s a really nice place you’ve got, Wars! You must be doing-”

Warriors suddenly places a hand behind Wild’s back, ushering them forward. “Yes, well, Althai is with his mother this week. Come on, the kitchen is this way.”

“Althai?” Wild cocks their head. “Wars, do you have a kid?”

“Yes, but-”

Wild side steps away from Wars. “Wait, I want to meet him!”

“We can’t right now, Wild,” Warriors pinches the bridge of his nose, an irritated scowl on his face that reminds Wild of the old man. “Freya and I aren’t… together anymore, and I’d rather not face her wrath if I showed up unannounced.”

Wild blinks. “Oh, I see.”

“So!” Wars quickly snaps out of it. “How about we avoid all that, and instead, we can make your breakfast?”

“Yeah,” Wild smiles, placing a hand on his shoulder. “I was thinking crepes. You still like those, right?”

The tension fades away from Wars, and he grins back at his brother. “I’ve always loved your crepes.”

- - -

“You know, I never took you as the braiding type,” Wild remarks over a mouthful of honey crepe.

“Don’t talk while you’re eating,” Wars instinctively responds, one hand focused on Wild’s hair while he uses the other to take a bite of his own crepe.

“Aw, you sound like Zelda,” Wild pouts.

“How’s she doing, by the way?” Warriors asks. “You as well. It’s been a while since we’ve seen each other.”

“We’re both doing good,” Wild announces. “I mean, after the whole revival of Ganondorf business—which is long over, by the way, please don’t worry about that—things have been quiet.” They gasp. “I have a niece now!”

“You do, huh?” Warriors says. “We’re getting old.”

“Ick, don’t remind me,” Wild sticks their tongue out. “I’m planning on staying as young and childlike as possible.”

“Again, you’re almost thirty.”

“Shut up!”

Warriors laughs at Wild’s outburst. He finishes the end of Wild’s braid, securing it with a hair tie. “All done.”

“Thanks for that, Wars,” Wild says as Wars loops around to sit across from them. “I usually get Sidon to do it, but with the one arm-”

Warriors raises a hand to stop them. “I get it, don’t worry.” His face sours quickly. “We should address the moblin in the room.”

“Right,” Wild sighs. “I definitely should not be here.”

“You’re not an unwelcome guest, but…” Warriors crosses his hands in front of him. “I haven’t heard of any black-blooded monsters again, have you?”

Wild shakes their head. “Nothing of the sort.”

“So whatever issue this is, it’s new,” he reasons. “How likely do you think it is that the two of us will be dragged away to another time together?”

“Based on past experience?” Wild questions. “That will almost certainly happen.”

“Great,” Wars rubs at his temples in agitation.

“Honestly, I’m just glad to get in at the beginning this time,” Wild admits. “You guys already knew everything by the time I joined! That wasn’t fair.”

“Easy, soldier,” Wars pats their head, much to Wild’s chagrin. “Eat up, it seems like we have somewhere to be soon.”

Wild raises an eyebrow. “Oh?”

“Congratulations, you’re going to meet your nephew,” Wars grimaces, crossing his arms together. “We’re going to my ex-wife’s house.”

- - -

"Just let me do the talking."

Wild shoots Wars a suspicious look. The two of them are standing in front of an ornate wooden door, leading into a nice stone house on the edge of the city. "She can't be that bad."

"Whatever you're thinking, Freya's worse," Warriors insists, practically sweating bullets.

Wild rolls their eyes, before reaching forward and slamming the iron knocker into the door repeatedly.

"Wild!" Warriors grabs their hand, yanking them back.

"You were taking too long!"

"I would have knocked eventually, now I have to rush through this," he hisses, pulling Wild up to eye level. "Don't annoy her, don't break anything. Don't be yourself."

"That's so rude!" Wild squirms in his grasp. "Let go, I've only got the one arm!"

“Link?”

Wars drops Wild onto the stone steps below them as he finally notices Freya at the door. She has long, dark, curled hair, pulled back into a bun. She worriedly looks down at Wild, who’s pouting on the floor at their aches.

“Freya!” Wars immediately has a wary smile on his face. “It’s so nice to see you!”

“Uh, yes…” she claps her hand together, suddenly gesturing inside. “Please, please, come in!” Freya turns over her shoulder and yells, “Althai! Your dad’s here!”

“Dad!” a small voice shouts from elsewhere, and suddenly, a child darts in and latches onto Wars’ leg. “Dad, I missed you!”

“Let me see you!” Wars lifts the kid, holding him up to his face. Aside from his tan complexion and curls, Althai is a little clone of his father, with freckled cheeks and shiny gold hair. “How are you bigger already, Alt? It’s only been a few days!”

Althai giggles, and much to Wild’s surprise, Freya laughs as well.

As Warriors turns to Wild, he balances his son on his hip. “Althai, this is your Uncle Wild.”

“Oh.” Noticing Wild for the first time, Althai almost turns smaller in his father’s grasp. “Hi,” he says, shyly offering a little hand for Wild.

“It’s nice to meet you, Althai,” Wild smiles warmly, shaking his hand.

“Uncle Wild, huh?” Freya abruptly speaks up, a scowl on her face. “Althai, how about you show our guest the garden?” Her gaze turns to Wars, who swallows nervously as he places his son back on the ground. “I need to talk to your father.”

“Um. Okay,” Althai takes Wild’s hand, guiding them past his parents. “This way.”

“Alright,” Wild agrees. Before Althai can drag them away completely, they wink at Wars. A viable alternative for a thumbs up, of course.

- - -

Freya keeps a nice garden, Wild decides. They’re sitting on the stone path, dividing the flowers from the herbs. It’s well-manicured, unlike Wild’s own attempt at a vegetable garden a few years back. Bees buzz by, which they idly watch fly along.

Althai’s got his nose buried in a book, but since he’s a kid, Wild’s willing to let such a faux pas slide. He hasn’t said a word since they left the house, though, and they’re starting to get a bit antsy.

“So…” Wild drums their fingers on their leg. “What’re you reading?”

“Uh, it’s a book,” Althai says.

Wild nods. “Sure, sure. Of course.”

Silence hangs over the two of them again. This kid is nothing like the little firecracker Zelly is, Wild realizes.

“Do you really have one arm?”

“Oh! Yeah!” Wild lifts their poncho, showing off their missing arm again. “See? Pretty cool, huh?”

“Woah.” Althai abandons his book, inspecting them closer. “How did it happen?”

“Ohhhh, what a story,” Wild recounts, putting on their best spooky voice. “I was journeying through some caves with my friend, when suddenly, we came upon this evil man, who was put down there for trying to hurt Hyrule. When we got close, he heard us and woke up! And then, he used his evil, corrosive magic to-”

“Eep!” Althai shouts, hiding his face in the green cloth of Wild’s poncho.

Fuck!

“No, no!” Wild tries to amend, pulling back the poncho to reveal Althai’s face. “I was just- I was kidding! The arm was sick, and we had to get rid of it so I could be healthy. No bad men! No evil magic!”

“Oh,” Althai sits on the ground next to Wild. “Okay.”

Wild ruffles his hair. “You like stories, don’t you, kid?”

“Yeah,” Althai picks at the grass.

“Well, has your dad ever told you the story about his journey with the other Heroes across time?”

Althai perks up, nodding. “Mhm! All the Links!”

“Well, did you know I’m one of those Links?” Wild gestures to themself. “It’s true! I’m from thousands of years in the future!”

Althai gasps. “Really?!”

“Yes, really,” Wild confirms. “You know, I’ve got a few stories about your dad from back then. Stories I’m sure he never told you.”

“Tell me!” Althai jumps up, tugging on Wild’s shoulder. “Tell me tell me tell me!”

“Alright, alright, settle down.” Wild pulls the kid into their lap. “How about… the time we lost him on the coldest mountain in Hyrule?”

- - -

“So,” Freya crosses her arms, looking out the window. Her ex-husband sits across from her at the kitchen table. “That’s the Hero of the Wild in my backyard, isn’t it?”

“Er, yes,” Wars awkwardly scratches the back of his head. “Yes it is.”

“Alright, Link,” she pinches the bridge of her nose and sighs. “What happened?”

"Freya, please, it's none of your concern."

"None of my-?!" Freya is taken aback. "How about this, Link. Is it another journey?"

Warriors nods. "Most likely, yes."

"So then Althai needs to stay with me for who knows how long," she reasons. "Which means I need to get his things from your place, and I'll be making the trip to his school to pick him up for weeks. Not to mention the fact that I'll have to comfort my kid over his father's absence."

"I don't have a choice!" Wars reminds her. "Do you think I want to miss my time with Althai?"

"I'm not saying that, Link!" Freya corrects. "I'm saying that this very obviously affects me, whether you'll admit it or not." She covers his hand with her own. "Tell me what happened, alright? Just because we're not married doesn't mean we can't be friends."

Friends, huh?

"I know you're excited to see Wild, again," Freya smiles. "It's been so long, you're allowed to want to see your friends."

"Even if it means leaving Althai?" Warriors frowns. He flips his hand to hold hers.

"He'll be alright," Freya says. "He's tough, just like his dad. He'll be waiting here when you get back."

"When I get back," Wars echoes. "Yes, you're right! We'll visit when we can, and you and Althai can meet all of them!" Wars suddenly takes both her hands. "I'll be back before you know it, I promise."

"Thank you, Link," Freya sighs in relief. "How about we invite those two rascals back in? I'd love to get to know your brother."

"That's a great idea," Warriors grins. "I knew you were my best idea maker."

"Always have been."

- - -

“I’ll see you soon, Alty,” Wild kneels down to pat the kid’s head. “Remember, if your dad doesn’t let you do something, tell him that Uncle Legend would.”

“Wild, what are you telling my kid?” Wars crosses his arms and scowls. Once again, the image of Time and his disappointing glare comes right to Wild’s mind.

“Nothing!” Wild steps aside. “Just saying he should stay in school! Stuff like that!”

“Sure.” Wild can tell by his tone that Warriors doesn’t believe them, but he instead chooses to scoop Althai up in a hug. “Be good for your mother, my little bookworm. I’ll be back soon! Once this is all done, I’m taking you for ice cream.”

“Alright, Dad!” Althai giggles, wrapping his arms around his father’s neck. “I’ll miss you.”

“And I’ll miss you.” With his free hand, Wars digs through his pockets, producing a key that he offers to Freya. “This is my spare key. Take it, it’s yours.”

“Why thank you, Sir Link,” Freya graciously takes the key. “I’ll be sure to keep all your plants watered.”

And so, Wild and Wars find themselves back on the road, walking side by side as the sun sets. Wild takes a deep breath and sighs, enjoying the fresh air.

This is it.

“You know, Freya was actually very nice,” Wild says, smirking.

Warriors scoffs. “Oh, quiet you.”

“You’re still so dramatic,” they remark. “I can’t believe a word you say.”

“Hush,” Wars wraps an arm around Wild’s shoulder, drawing them close. “I’m trying to enjoy having my brother back, and you’re ruining it.”

Wild laughs, but before they can respond with their own witty comeback, there’s a bright light. Blinking through the brightness, the heroes find a portal in front of them, its golden swirls welcoming and inviting.

“Well, I guess it’s time,” Wild says. “You ready, Commander?”

“I guess I am, Chef,” Wars smiles.

“Aw, it’s cute you think I’m professionally trained.”

And so, once again, two of Hylia’s heroes step through a portal again, with neither an idea of where they’re going nor a care in the world.

[morimallow]

Kurōo with a male reader but reader actually animated and draws really well, can do realism easily literally any art style. And has worked fir anime studios & even made their own anime animation b4?

And he finds it out because he and Kenmawere snooping around?

WAIT, THIS IS SO CUTE. LET ME.. CHERISH THIS. I will entitle this..

Strokes

〖 This is fluff and crack (but I'm not funny?) despite the title, believe me. 〗

You were at your university studying a course totally unrelated to arts, same old poorly made up excuses for you not to go and enroll for Fine Arts running through your mind on a daily basis.

If you think about it, it's fine. Your parents decided to let you go and do artsy stuff after you graduated from whatever that course is.

But then again, this is you and you know you'll get rusty if you won't draw and just focus your mind on lengthy equations and pain-in-the-ass Language lessons and field practices you're sure you won't even use it in real life. Not with your chosen real career choice.

So, you decided to give it a go. You will be immediately offered a job if people can already see your potential.

You'd draw in your free time and also in not your free time and send those samples to animation studios. You use digital and paper and pen alternately... just because.

You would say you're popular. You have an art account, not using your real name because who the hell knows what your parents might do?

You would post there your WIPs, some original characters you made, an character you saw in a manga you read a long time ago that you forgot the title, your commissions with a large DO NOT REPOST or SAMPLE in the background, rough sketches of your boyfriend who doesn't know he was drawn, not that he would mind if he did know.

But the thing is, he really doesn't know. Nope, not a clue. None.

Not until you asked him to use your laptop, which was full of your drafts and placed helplessly on your study table, to send an email to your professor.

You have 4 accounts all in all: a personal one, your art account which you use for digital art stuff and to communicate with other artists, your account for the university and a formal one for.. formal stuff, I presume.

The things is, the account that was currently logged in was your art account and the animation studio you work at sent you your schedule the moment he opened your laptop.

Which means he accidentally opened it.

Kenma was sitting on your swivel chair, doing something on his phone. He was Kuroo's ride because they had somewhere to go after your boyfriend's done with what you made him do.

Kuroo briefly scanned the content of the mail before switching accounts so he could send the file you wanted to pass to your prof.

After telling you it's already sent.. he went back to your art account and whispered to Kenma who was too bored he joined Kuroo in his shenanigans.

Were they thinking you're living a double life? Yes. Did they scan your files? Yes. Did Kenma accidentally stumble upon an open box filled with tons of sketch books and old tablets you used for digital art? Yes. Did they start their search for whatever they're searching there? Absolutely.

For Kenma, he grabbed the sketch book with a label with the same name as the game he's addicted to at the moment. They were drafts then the final designs for the characters.

Kuroo didn't really feel angry or irritated you didn't tell him this. He knows you'd answer him honestly if he just asked but he can't.. stop.. looking at your works.

He was mesmerized. He has a lover so good in arts? HELL, YEAH. He's now convincing Kenma to join him to commission you because you deserve it.

You knew Kuroo would know about your work the moment you entered your dorm with their shoes still by the door. You leaned on the door frame, looking at them still smiling fondly at your works and you were thinking how to approach the situation because.. you weren't really angry? Your works have been out in the public for so many times. Why would you have an issue with Kuroo and Kenma looking at the original ones?

“What do you think?” you asked.

“You didn't tell me you were this amazing! I didn't even know you draw,” Kuroo said pouting but still feeling proud and happy if that's possible.

“I thought you already knew when I asked if I could practice on you?”

“What? When— I THOUGHT YOU WANTED TO BE BETTER AT KISSING SO I SAID YES.”

“I was on my phone.. drawing you..”

“You weren't scrolling through videos on how to kiss?”

“What made you think I was scrolling through kissing shit when I was holding my phone at a weird angle because that was the first time I used my phone for digital art?”

“Well, did it turn out good?”

“Absolutely, I caught your ugliness and enhanced it to make you uglier.”

Bickering, teasing, and Kenma not minding you two.

Kuroo then asked what your plans were after college and told you about the schedule he accidentally saw earlier. He knew then about your work, about when you made your own anime that was one of Kuroo and Kenma's top 10 faves. It was a short one but definitely caught their hearts.

Kenma had been planning to develop his own game and wanted you to design the characters, get your own crew to develop the graphics and all that artsy stuff (because I don't know anything).

“Kenma, you're my best friend but you can't just steal my boyfriend from me!”

“Kuroo, stealing and hiring are two different and obviously unrelated things.”

After a few more hours of planning and telling stories, Kenma decided to go home and Kuroo stayed for a sleepover.

He asked you where the hoodie he lent you a few weeks ago was because he didn't bring any change of clothes and you said it was in the top drawer.

Just as he was about to close it, his eyes caught a glimpse of a picture.

No, it wasn't a picture. It was a digital portrait of someone..? Maybe a late relative or your close cousin? The person (?) in the frame had some of your features. It was too realistic it didn't cross his mind that it was one of your works.

“Hey, babe? Who's this?”

The moment you realized what he was holding, you stopped breathing. He wasn't supposed to find that but then again, maybe you shouldn't have hid it in one of your drawers.

You mumbled your answer.

“What? Come again?”

“W-What our c-child would look like,” you looked away, blushing.

I realized the title had nothing to do with the content. Maybe this is why I never win in essay writing contests. LMAO. 💀

[lyranova]

You are Beautiful Pt. II

Hi guys~! So here’s part 2 of my greyche fic i posted yesterday, i wasn’t planning a part 2 but i thought this would be something fun lol! This one is safe for minors to read and you don’t have to read part 1 to understand this fic (i hope)! Anyway I hope you all enjoy this 🥰!

Word Count: 1,466

Warnings: Language (maybe?)

———

Gauche was walking through the streets of the Capital with purpose, he was very angry. Last night, a couple of women had told Grey that she was plain and not very attractive and it upset her a lot. It really pissed him off that those women felt it was ok to put someone down because, in their opinion, they weren’t ‘beautiful’. Even thinking about it now made his blood boil. After Grey had told him he made it his mission to make her feel beautiful that entire night, which, in his opinion, he succeeded at. Well, he hoped he did anyway. He felt Grey holding onto the back of his shirt as they walked, he asked her to come with him so she could point the women out to him.

“ This is where you were sitting right?” He asked as they came to the courtyard where they had set up the food stand. He felt Grey let go of his shirt before she moved to stand next to him.

“ Y-Yeah, but Gauche, do you really h-have to do this? I mean, I’m ok now.” She stammered as she grabbed his arm, she should’ve known better than to tell him. She didn’t want him to be upset and cause a scene, it would be very embarrassing!

“ Yes I do. Those hags need to learn that their opinion is just that: an opinion, not gospel.” He told her as he looked around, he saw an elderly man cleaning up some trash and he walked over to him.

“ Hey old man! Were you here last night?” Gauche shouted as he walked up to the man, Grey followed closely behind, although she stayed hidden behind him.

“ Yes I was, why? Did you lose something?” The old man asked patiently, not seeming to mind Gauche’s gruff attitude.

“ No we’re looking for two ha-i mean women,” Gauche all but spat those words out. “ they were sitting over there, talking about my girlfriend behind her back. I’d just like to know their names so they can apologize to her.” He added as he crossed his arms, the old man seemed to think for a moment.

“ Oh, you’re probably looking for the Carrion sisters. They’re a rotten bunch I’ll tell you that.” The old man shook his head, apparently this wasn’t the first time these girls mouths have gotten them into trouble.

“ Where can we find these Carrion sisters?” Gauche asked Grey peered around Gauche to also look at the old man.

“ Probably at their dress shop, it's just down that street. You can’t miss it.” The old man directed. Gauche nodded in thanks and headed in that direction, Grey following behind.

As they came upon the dress shop Gauche felt his blood boil even more, he was about to walk inside when Grey grabbed onto the back of his shirt.

“ Y-You don’t have to do this Gauche! You’ll get in trouble i-if you go in there like this! I’m not worth it.” Grey pleaded, she didn’t want him to go back to prison for defending her, she wouldn’t be able to live with herself if that happened. Gauche turned slightly and looked at her.

“ Grey, you are worth it. If I get in trouble for telling two old hags how stupid their opinions are, than so be it. I’m not going to let anyone think it's ok to hurt you, that it's ok to make you feel unworthy, that it's ok to try and break all the confidence you built up. I won’t let them get away with it!” He told her, Grey felt herself blush. Even though he acted cold and uncaring, he was actually the opposite. At least with her anyway.

Gauche walked inside the dress shop and saw a woman, who appeared to be in her late twenties, at the counter. The woman looked up and instantly a smile appeared on her face, it looked like it was supposed to be a flirtatious smile but it failed miserably in Gauche’s mind.

“ Hello there, how can I help you?” She asked sweetly as she leaned on the counter. Gauche walked up to it.

“ Are you one of the Carrion sisters?” He asked as he crossed his arms, Grey hidden behind him still with her face covered.

“ Yes I am.” The woman confirmed with a nod.

“ Good. Is your sister here? I need to speak with you both.” Gauche told her in a surprisingly calm voice, Grey had figured he would have started blowing up by now.

“ Of course, let me go get her.” The woman walked away and went to the back of the shop, Gauche and Grey could hear whispers and soft giggles. Gauche was beyond irritated at this point. Both girls walked out and stood behind the counter.

“ I’m Alyssum Carrion, and this is my sister Trillium. What exactly can we do for you?” The one called Alyssum asked in a seductive sounding voice, Gauche visibly rolled his eyes. These two were unbelievable.

“ Firstly; there is absolutely nothing you two can do for me,” he started, his voice beginning to get louder. “ Secondly; you two disrespected my girlfriend, you called her ‘plain’, ‘unattractive’, and ‘small chested’. All of those things are untrue!” Grey was silently hoping the floor would suddenly open up and swallow her whole as Gauche continued.

“ I understand everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but yours is stupid. Very stupid. Putting down another girl because she doesn’t meet your definition of ‘beautiful’ is absolutely disgusting! If anything you two are the plain and unattractive ones. Anyone who thinks it’s ok to put others down for their looks in order to make themselves feel better is a low and poor excuse for a human being, especially when the person you’re putting down is my girlfriend!” Gauche all but yelled as he slammed his hands onto their counter, the smiles were wiped clean off the women’s faces.

“ You two, heh, you’re both pathetic. You think talking about someone behind their back makes you so big and special, well guess what? It doesn’t. It makes you small and insignificant. I know you both aren’t going to apologize for what you said to Grey, you’re too much of a coward. But, if I ever, and I mean ever hear you two say something about Grey again. I will come back here, and I will make sure those plastic heads of yours roll.” Gauche glowered down at the women, they were terrified. The more Gauche had spoken the louder he got, disgust had been laced in every single word he uttered, he found these women beyond disgusting.

Grey, on the other hand, was standing behind him, her face as red as one of the dresses on display. She was beyond embarrassed! Why did he always have to make a scene? Although she would admit hearing him call her his ‘girlfriend’ did warm her heart a bit.

“ C’mon Grey let’s go.” Gauche said as he turned around, he took Grey’s hand in his and he pulled her out of the dress shop, leaving the two women stunned.

“ W-Why’d you do that Gauche? I told you, i-it was ok!” Grey stammered as he led her through the crowd that had gathered outside the shop, apparently they could all hear Gauche shouting from outside. He sighed before stopping to look at her.

“ And I told you that I wasn’t going to let them get away with talking about you like that! Every word I said in there about them was true and you know it! Do you really think I’d let anyone talk about someone I love that way?!” Gauche shouted, causing everyone to look at them. But Grey didn’t even notice, she was too stunned by what he said; he loved her? She watched a blush creep onto his cheeks.

“ Y-You love me?” She asked softly, Gauche rubbed the back of his head nervously.

“ Of course I love you, did you honestly doubt that? Especially after last night?” He muttered. Last night was one of the best nights of Grey’s life, he made her feel so warm, so loved, so safe, and, just like he promised, oh so very beautiful.

Grey quickly wrapped her arms around his middle and buried her face into his chest, she could tell this had surprised him as his body stiffened. But he relaxed and wrapped his arms around her and placed a gentle kiss on top of her head.

“ I love you too Gauche! I promise, I’ll try to defend you just like you defended me!” She told him with a firm nod, causing him to chuckle softly.

——-

I’m sorry it fell apart towards the end but I still hope you guys enjoyed this! Thank you for reading and I hope you all have a good day 🥰~!

Taglist: @eme-eleff

[virgil-is-a-cutie]

Oh, if you're still doing Alya salt, maybe do something where She ends up footing the bill for all the "free" stuff she got as Marinette's friend since she made it clear they aren't anymore?

This is pro-class and pro-Chloé btw

Pay The Price and Suffer

"I'M NOT YOU'RE FRIEND ANYMORE MARINETTE!"

The class is shocked by the screaming that comes out of Alya's mouth but to their surprise Marinette just stays sitting down on her desk with headphones on.

She looks up to see Alya who was glaring furiously at her.

She takes off her headphones, she had been listening to Set It Off's album Midnight.

"What is it now Césaire?" she asked with a raised eyebrow, her voice dripping of malice.

Everyone in class' eyes widened at how they heard the bluenette address Alya. She had only done it once and that was when they were younger.

The glasses wearing teen was shocked at the tone of her ex-best friend and blushed a little at the tone.

"W...we're not friends anymore Marinette."

"Anything important?" she asked with sarcasm as she wrote a few things down in a journal.

Alya's eyes widened and she hesitates for a bit, "no. I just don't want to be friends with a jealous bitch," she hissed out weakly before making her way to her seat next to Lila who was feigning a small pout.

Mari rolled her eyes while the rest of her friends gave her a smile and sent her a few texts to cheer her up.

Thanks to Sabrina being in the restroom while Lila made her threat she and Chloé basically sat the whole class down, except Alya who was busy, to inform them of what happened.

After that the whole class were wary of Lila and didn't believe her that much much to her frustration other than Alya.

The class tried to explain to Alya but she wouldn't listen to them at all no matter what each of them said to her.

Poor Nino broke up with her once he noticed how his girlfriend was treating Marinette. He was glad since Alya just posted nonsense in her blog without fact checking.

Adrien, too was rather into just plain ignoring Lila and even told Gabriel that he wouldn't want somone as tacky as her to be a model.

Surprisingly Gabriel agreed, because really Lila? Hair in three ponytails that looks like sausages?

He's seen children models look better than her with that hairstyle and they made it look nice.

Marinette eyes Adrien and when he looked back at her they smiled widely before texting each other before class started.

The rest of her friends were worried.

-----

Alya paled as her mother held up a small piece of paper while a huge stack of papers sat on the table.

"Care to explain why the fuck you owe 2 million euros to the Dupain-Cheng Bakery as well an additional 1 million euros to Marinette?" her mother hissed quietly glaring fiercely at her daughter.

Nora was sitting in the couch covering her face as her whole body shook with anger and disbelief.

Alya looked at her father who was quiet and looking at his phone, not knowing that he was checking their bank account to see how much they had.

The twins, not understanding what was happening, but understanding that the mood of the room was a bit bad stayed quiet as they did their homework.

"W....what?" Alya asked as she felt her stomach tighten.

3 million euros? For what?!!!

"YOU OWE THE DUPAIN-CHENGS 3 MILLION EUROS ALYA! TELL ME WHY?!" her mother screamed angrily with fire on her eyes as she slammed the receipt into the table making Alya flinch.

"Don't bother asking her mom, I read the packet. She owes them because of all the baked goods she begged Marinette to bring to her whenever they hanged out or for lunch...as well as all the outfits and gifts she bitched to Mari into making them for her," Nora said quietly, her voice sounding so weak.

"Alya...why didn't you pay for any of this?" her father asks her softly looking at her with tired disappointed eyes.

"I...that was when Marinette was my best friend and best friends gift each-" Alya tried to explain but her mother screamed again.

"JUST BECAUSE YOUR SUPPOSED BEST FRIEND OWNS A BAKERY AND CAN DESIGN DOESN'T ENTITLE YOU TO ASK FOR FREE THINGS ALYA!"

"Alya....all those free things can hurt their business. What made you think that all of that was free?" Nora asked looking at her younger sister with red eyes.

Alya felt small as her mother glared at her as she quietly whispered.

"Because she was my friend."

-----

Alya made her way to class with her head down, her eyes were droopy and her hair a mess after not being able to sleep the whole night.

She froze when she saw Marinette, Adrien, and the whole class eating from a box from the bakery.

She stomps towards the group but froze when she noticed that all of them looked at her with a look of distrust.

"I bet you gave that to all of them for free," she hissed out weakly.

Everyone in the class got a confused look before Nathaniel spoke up.

"I sent a text to Mari last night that I was going to buy a box of macaroons for the class to eat in the morning."

Alya froze when she heard that, "w...wait what? You guys...order it the day before?" she asks weakly.

Everyone frowns at her tone before nodding.

"Well yeah. Before you came along Chloé would basically buy 2 boxes of croissants and macaroons each day to share with the class. A few times even her dad would buy 3 boxes of cookies when Chloé was too sick to come to school. Heck out all their customers they tip the bakery so much that even Tom feels bad."

Chloé sheepishly smiled as Marinette playfully glared at her. Chloé and Nathaniel were the only ones in the class to pay her more than necessary when doing a commission.

"I...I thought all those times she brought them as to just share," she said weakly.

Everyone frowns and turn to look at Marinette who raised an eyebrow.

"I believe you got the receipt then?"

"I...I thought it was all free Marinette!" she weakly tries to protest.

When the class heard that suddenly they understood what was going on.

Chloé raised an eyebrow, "you thought that Marinette just gave all the stuff for free? How stupid do you have to be Césaire? Her parents have people who ask to open a tab which they pay a week later."

"B...but all the outfits..." Alya tried to reason.

"All of those were commissions...honestly Césaire you'd think the class would make Marinette waste valuable material and time to make us all the stuff she gives us for free? You'd be absolutely stupid to think we'd ask for free stuff just because she's our friend."

"...Alya did you think just because we were friends with Mari we'd get all of the things she brings to class was free?" Nino asked his ex girlfriend who looked away in shame.

"Alya those outfits and gifts she gives us were commissions we sent her like...2 years ago in advance depending on what was needed through her website," Sabrina informed the now distraught looking teen.

"B...but-"

"I wasted a lot of bakery goods and designs on you Alya because you begged me to or would just bitch to me about them. We aren't friends anymore so you might as well pay the bill of all those 'free' things you felt entitled to," Marinette said with a glare that made the taller girl feel small.

"But my fam-"

"I could care less Alya, you brought this on yourself," Marinette said with a sigh before walking to her desk and Nathaniel grabbed the box of goodies before following after Marinette.

Alya stood there hurt and confused as the rest followed the bluenette.

That night Alya was grounded and had to get a job as her parents informed her that they only paid 1/10 of the bill. Having informed Mari's parents that that's all they were willing to pay since it was Alya who basically asked for free stuff and the rest was to be paid by herself with no other help from her family.

Marinette and her parents agreed since they knew Alya's parents basically were disappointed on their daughter.

Marinette knew it'd take possibly years for Alya to pay back, but Alya's parents kept reminding her whenever she got back from work and kept a chalkboard to show her progress.

She didn't make that much progress after 3 months.

Mari and the class didn't care, neither did Lila who was screamed at by the glasses wearing teen when she found out she was lied to.

Now she had to pay the price.

Tag list: @thyladyanput @18-fandoms-unite-08 @musicfeedsmysoul12 @a-marlene-s @unmaskedagain

[cryptidsandcatacombs]

What If I Killed Someone For You

Rating: absolutely postively adult for violent yandere content. Anyone under the age of 18 better go away. No reading allowed for anyone under the age of 18. Plus there's like one adult joke in here so no one under the age of 18 allowed for that reason either.

Summary: This is literally fueled by my love of yandere content #nojudgingcringecultureisdeadandikilledit. Noe better watch himself because he's been my muse lately. Anyways uuuu idk yandere stuff here so you know someone's getting stabbed. We should probably do something about that, but we're not gonna. Thems the rules chief. No, you can't stop it either you total fucking killjoy. I'll start stealing toes if you do. What will I do with said toes? Black markets are a lucrative business and I need the money cause I'm broke fam. So really it's the economy's fault that I'm chopping toes. Say thanks late stage capitalism. This is brought to you by idk the monster under your bed who chops off the toes for me. He gets paid by the hour so try no to run too much ok.

Oh and this fic contains lyrics from If I killed someone for you by Alec Benjamin. Yes I'm inserting song lyrics into a fic like it's the early 2000s.

I'm packing up my things and I'm wiping down the walls I'm rinsing off my clothes and I'm walking through the halls I did it all for her So I felt nothing at all I don't know what she'll say So I'll ask her when she calls

Would you love me more? If I killed someone for you

Oz was considered by most a laid back sort of guy. Never angered easily. He can get frustrated like every other person, but not so easily angered.

However, despite his laid back nature, he had a vice. Jealousy. One that he was very self aware of. He often tried not to let it get the better of him, but there it was. A beast clad in green with eyes of emerald staring him directly in the fact tempting him with its siren song.

The siren song came in the form of Noe Archiviste and....whoever this girl was that was hanging all over Noe right now. She had a voice as sweet as molasses and brown curls that fell down her shoulders like waterfalls. She would run her hands over Noe and look at him with her doe eyes. She was a cute on overall. Couldn't blame Noe for taking interest if it was there.

He seemed to not the mind the attention he received from the lady...nor the frivolous compliments....nor the blatantly flirty way she seems to be touching him with every caress of his hands into hers and the way she wraps her arms around his neck.

Oz's eye twitched. Oz could have stuffed down all this rage and envy that suddenly sprouted from the ether, but jealousy was truly Oz's vice. One he wasn't planning to fix any time soon. He wanted to sit there and be happy for his dearest Noe. Stay to the sidelines and be happy for his good fortune for love is one of the greatest things you can find.

However, there was another urge. One just as strong.

"I want her to die," cried Oz's thoughts. "I want her gone. She can't take Noe away from me. She can't. I know him and I aren't together in a romantic sense, but...I don't want her taking away my chance either. She has to go"

"Now now Oz," said another voice in Oz's head, "You know that's wrong. You can't go around getting rid of anyone you see as a competition or obstacle towards someone you care about."

Oz was prone to scolding himself at times like these. He always held himself to high moral standards. Sometimes too high. To the point of self-loathing. Impressive if you ask the writer. Self awareness? Bitch please for shame. This isn't a call out post for myself. What is it you may ask? Hey, we're getting off topic you little trickster. You're supposed to be a reader. Not breaking the fourth wall.

"Yes yes I know I can't do that. I'm not going to. That still doesn't save me from any form of feral urge to wring her neck and ship her body down the river and hope and have her loved ones pray she can be identified by her dental records. Fuck does she even love him. What if she's out to hurt him or worse just wants him for his body? Look at him! He's gorgeous. Who can blame her? What if she doesn't love him like I do," said Oz's internal thoughts.

"Oz you're being dumb. She might love him unconditionally too and he deserves that for himself," Oz argued internally with himself back.

"I know I know, but I'm just saying what if. I just don't like the idea of him getting hurt nor the idea of her taking him away from me. I'm entitled to that feeling aren't I," Oz continued to debate with his voice of reason.

"Fair, but lets just wait and see. He's a big boy and can handle himself," Oz's voice of reason stated.

"Yeah a big boy in more ways than one I bet," said the third internal Oz voice of being horny and all around slutty that constantly lives there.

"This is getting us nowhere," Oz himself decided to just cut the internal argument off before it turns into a blood match to the death. This was disturbing his routine of stalking Noe for ...research purposes.

Oz looked over to now see them sitting down at the nearby cafe. They were seated across from each other. Oz noted Noe might be enjoying his usual coffee or tea. He liked it extra sweet either way. The man has one hell of a sweet tooth.

"Yeah I bet that brown haired hussie doesn't know that, but I do," Oz thought to himself smugly.

Oz looked back at Noe's companion to see her touching his arm and doing the egregious crime of looking into his magnificent purple eyes. Wait....was she now touching his face?

"You lucky bitch," Oz thought to himself this time with anger brows drawn on the words for dramatic emphasis.

Oz ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. "Damn it! How long is this date going to last? I hope it stops before I puke up a lung," Oz thought to himself this time internally rolling in pain.

Hours passed and Oz with surprising tenacity had stayed there all day following Noe around with the clever disguise of wearing a hat and ya know some shabby clothes. Truly no way he could be recognized. Yep, he's got it all figured out.

Oz decided to follow them home from a fair distance. Oz looked up to see the sunset. It was starting to get dark and Oz hated the dark, but he hated certain people who might harm those he loves even more. A little nyctophobia isn't gonna hurt.

Oz followed quietly until he noticed they stopped in front of a flat. It was her flat. Noe escorted her to the door like the gentleman he is and waved her good night. Oz had found a nice dark alleyway to hide in so he wouldn't be spotted.

Noe headed towards Oz's direction which caused Oz to hide deeper into the darkness. Oz bit his lip from the anxiety of being found and having some explaining to do. Like who was he kidding? This disguise was paper thin!

Noe looked like he was passing by Oz, then stopped. Oz froze. Oh god had he spotted him?

Before Oz could register what happened next, Noe had gone in a flash. Oz knew he was fast, but he couldn't see where he went.

It was then a grunt and the sound of what seemed to be something getting bashed against the wall behind Oz. Oz slowly turned to find Noe whose hand was pressing something against the wall.

It was then he grabbed whatever he was holding and slammed it again. Oz stared into the darkness to see his eyes glowing red to match the blood on his gloves.

After another slam, the clear sound of bone cracking from the impact could be heard. Noe dropped, what Oz could assume, the now lifeless body of the person he just killed.

Noe turned to see Oz and Oz froze. "Ok ok maybe he doesn't know it's you," Oz thought to himself. "Oh I know."

"Aye top of the morning to you," Oz did in his best Irish accent that he could muster.

Noe leaned down and inspected Oz. Oz could only look at Noe confused as Noe lifted Oz's arms and looked over Oz's face and the rest of his person.

Noe then gave a sigh of relief. "Good, I was afraid he had hurt you Oz," Noe said putting a hand on Oz's shoulder.

"Wait, you knew it was me," Oz said face turning hot.

"I mean, I'd recognize you from anywhere. You're not hard to miss," Noe pointed out.

"Oh uuu so what happened exactly," Oz asked now curious about the now lifeless elephant in the room.

Oz went to look at the supposed body only for Noe to yank him back and shook his head no.

"You're squeamish," Noe said taking his bloody glove off, putting his now bare hand on Oz's face,"I wouldn't look."

Oz shuddered taking Noe's advice.

"The man had been following you. I know of him. That vampire right there would have killed you where you stood if I hadn't done something," Noe said honestly.

Oz batted his lashes in shock taken aback. "I...almost died," Oz asked.

Noe nodded. "Fortunately, he doesn't kill in broad daylight, so I had to wait til night. I had just noticed him following you today. I don't know how long he's been doing it for, but if I had noticed earlier, he would have been dead on the first day," Noe nearly growled out. "I'd rather not have killed him in broad daylight either,ut if I had to, I would have," Noe wanted to point out. "If he had attacked you, I absolutely would have."(edited)

Oz turned pale. "W-wait, when did you notice I was...," Oz said not knowing how to word his next question.

"Following me," Noe asked for him, "Since I left the house. You're not exactly subtle."

Oz blushed. "Oh uh sorry I was just curious as to what your daily routine was like and then I noticed you had a female companion, so I was trying to see if you were safe," Oz said nervously.

"Her? She was lonely and needed company, so I obliged. She's a bit friendly, but so am I," Noe pointed out.

"So are you...interested in her? Dating her even," Oz asked getting to the point.

Noe shook his head. "Not in the slightest," Noe said heading towards the body making effort to cover it up. "I'll dispose of the body in a minute. Let's take the back ways so I'm not caught soaked in blood. I need to get you home," Noe said quickly leading him back.

"Wait what if someone finds it," Oz asked fearfully.

"This will be quick," Noe said picking up Oz and speeding off.

Oz could often forget how fast this unstoppable force of a man was.

A few minutes later, Oz was back on his doorstep. Oz rubbed the back of his neck looking towards Noe wondering what Noe was going to do now.

"Now, go inside and don't come check on me. I don't want to have to hide more bodies this evening should more make the fatal mistake of coming after you," Noe said waiting til Oz got to his door.

"Ok ok," Oz said opening his door.

Oz waved Noe off as he sped away to do the dirty work.

Later that night, Oz flopped over into the bed still registering the fact he just saw Noe Archiviste straight up body a man. The sweet, gentle lamb of a man just increased the body count this evening. The man was now a statistic in vampire based deaths. Truly mystifying.

Oz wanted to stay up and see if Noe was going to be ok. However, sleep took Oz before Oz could make any quick decisions. It had been a long day.

As Oz slept, Noe crept in with any blood soaked clothes supposedly disposed of. Noe bent down and ran his fingers through Oz's hair.

Noe's fingers drifted to Oz's pulse on his neck. Long has Noe fantasized about marking Oz's neck. The thought made him shiver, but he couldn't. He couldn't bare to do it with him possibly not consent as marking someone like that is a big deal.

Noe pressed a little more of the pulse of Oz's neck. The beat made Noe's heart race and what Noe could swear was drool. To be so intimate with Oz to the point he trusts Noe to drink his blood. It was enough to make him shiver.

Noe shook himself from these thoughts. He couldn't give in. Not without Oz's permission.

Noe got up quietly and shut Oz's door bedroom door behind him as he left. He couldn't bare to kiss Oz's face good night as he was afraid it would trigger something in him.

Noe fled out the door into the dead of night towards his place. He wouldn't let any harm come to Oz. Even if that danger was himself.

[dillydedalus]

april reading

oh yeah this is a thing. anyway in april i read about uhhh.... first contact (twice), murderers on skis & victorian church politics

the yield, tara june winch a novel about indigenous australian identity and history (now and throughout the 20th century) in three narrative strands. imo the narrative strand that consists of a grandfather writing a dictionary of his language (wiradjuri) in order to prove a claim to some land is by far the strongest, but overall i liked this quite a lot. 3/5

land of big numbers, te-ping chen a solid short story collection focused on modern china and young(ish) chinese people, both in china and the diaspora. i particularly liked the stories that had some slighty surreal or speculative elements, such as one about fruit that strongly evoke emotions when eaten and a group of people stuck in a train station for months as the train is delayed, which imo use their speculative aspects in effective (if not super subtle) ways to talk about society. 3/5

the pear field, nana ekvtimishvili (tr. from georgian by elizabeth heighway) international booker prize longlist! a short, fairly depressing read about a 18-year-old girl at a post-soviet school for developmentally disabled childred (but also orphans, abandoned children & other random kids) who is trying to get a younger boy adopted by an american couple. there seem to be a lot of novels set at post-soviet orphanages etc & imo this is a well-executed example of the microgenre, with the pear field full of pears that are never picked bc they don’t taste right as a strong central image. 3/5

the warden, anthony trollope (chronicles of barsetshire #1) ah yes, a 6-part victorian series about church politics in an english town, exactly the kind of thing i’m interested in. not sure why i committed to at least the first two entries of the series but here we are. despite this lack of interest (and disagreement with most of the politics on display here) i found this quite charming; trollope has a gift for an amusing turn of phrase & making fun of his characters in benevolent ways. 3/5

the lesson, cadwell turnbull first contact scifi novel set on the virgin islands, where an alien ship arrives one day. the aliens seem benevolent & share helpful technology, but also react with extreme violence to any aggression. they claim to be on earth to study.... something, but it’s never entirely clear what. the book makes some interesting choices (like immediately skipping over the actual first contact to a few years in the future, when the aliens are already established on the islands) but i thought much of it was kinda disjointed and confusing. 2/5

the heart is a lonely hunter, carson mccullers look, i get it, it’s all about the isolation & alienation (& dare i say loneliness) of 4 miserable characters projecting their issues on the central character singer, who is kind and patient and also deaf and mute, thus making him the perfect receptacle for their issues without really having to connect with him as a person and how that isolation hinders them socially, artistically, emotionally, politically, but like... i didn’t really like it. i didn’t hate it but i just felt very meh about it all. 2.5/5

acht tage im mai: die letzte woche des dritten reiches, volker ulrich fascinating history book about the last week(ish) of the third reich, starting with the day of hitler’s suicide and ending with the total surrender (but with plenty of flashbacks and forwards), and looking at military&political leadership (german and allied) as well as prisoners of war, forced laborers, concentration camp prisoners, and everyone else. very interesting look at what kästner described as the “gap between the not-anymore and the not-yet.” 3.5/5

firekeeper’s daughter, angeline boulley) i’ve been mostly off the YA train for the last few years, but this was a really good example of contemporary YA with a focus on ~social issues. ANYWAY. this is YA crime novel about daunis, a mixed-race unenrolled ojibwe girl close to finishing high school who is struggling with family problems, university plans, and feeling caught between her white and her native familiy when her best friend is shot in front of her and she decides to become a CI for an fbi investigation into meth production in the community. i really appreciated how hard this went both with the broader social issues (racism, addiction) and daunis’ personal struggles. there are a few bits that felt a bit didactic & on the nose (and the romance... oh well), but overall the themes of community, family, and the value of living indigenous culture are really well done & i teared up several times. 4/5

the magic toyshop, angela carter i love carter’s short stories but struggle with (while still liking) her novels so far. this one, a tale of melanie, suddenly orphaned after trying on her mother’s wedding dress in the garden, coming of age and awakening to womanhood or whatever. carter’s really into that. it’s well-written, sensual as carter always is, and the family melanie and her siblings are sent to, her tyrannical puppet-maker uncle, his mute wife and the wife’s two brothers, both fascinating and offputting (& dirty) make for an interesting cast of characters, but overall i just wish i was reading the bloody chamber again. 3/5

barchester towers, anthony trollope (chronicles of barsetshire #2) (audio) lol tbh i still don’t know why i am committing to this series about, again, church politics in 19th century rural england, but it’s just so chill & warm & funny (we love gently or not so gently - but always politely - mocking our characters) that i’m enjoying it as a nice little trip where people do some #crazyschemes to gain church positions or fight over whether there should be songs in church or whatever it is people in the 19th century fought about. it’s very relaxing. there also is a lot of love quadrangleyness going on and that’s also fun. trollope has weird ideas about women but like whatever, i for one wish mrs proudie much joy of her position as defacto bishop of barchester, she really girlbossed her way to the top. 3.5/5

semiosis, sue burke (semiosis #1) i love spinning the wheel on the “first contact with X weird alien species” & i guess this time we landed on plants! plant intelligence is interesting and the idea of plant warfare is really cool. i do like the structure, with different generations of human settlers on the planet pax providing a long-term view but this allows the author to skip over a lot of the development of the relationship between the settlers and the plant and locating the plot elsewhere, which i think is ultimately a mistake. i might continue w/ the series tho, depending on library availability. 2.5/5

one by one, ruth ware a bunch of start-up people go on a corporate retreat to a ski chalet in the alps, avalanche warning goes up, one of them disappears, presumably on a black piste, the rest get snowed in & completely cut off when the avalanche hits and then they get picked off *title drop* (altho really not that many of them). nice fluff when i had a miserable cold (not covid) but fails when it tries to go for deeper themes... like an attempt to address classism and entitlement sure... was made. also like what kind of luxury skiing chalet does not have emergency communication devices in case internet/phone lines are down...  i’d have sued just for that. 2/5

fake accounts, lauren oyler the microgenre of ‘alienated intellectual(ish) probably anglophone person has some sort of crisis, goes to berlin about it’ is my ultimate literary weakness - i almost never really like them, they mostly irritate me & yet i can never resist their siren call. this one is p strong on the irritation, altho at least the narrator does not ascribe much meaning to her decision to go to berlin after she a) discovers her boyf is an online conspiracy theorist (probably not sincerely) and b) gets a call that said boyf has died, it’s really just something to do to avoid doing anything else. but other than that it’s so BerlinExpat by the numbers, like she lives in kreuzkölln! put her somewhere else at least! there is one scene that elevates the BerlinExpat-ness of it all (narrator asks expatfriend for advice on visa applications, expatfriend assures her that it’s really easy for americans to get visa, adds “especially now” while literally, as the narrator remarks, gesturing at the falafel she’s eating) other than that, the novel is.... fine. it’s smart, but not really as smart as it thinks it is, which is a problem bc it thinks it’s just sooo incisive. whatever. 2/5

the tenant of wildfell hall, anne bronte this is reductive but: jane eyre: i could fix him // wuthering heights: i could make him worse // wildfell hall: lmao i’m gonna leave his ass anyway i enjoyed the part that is actually narrated by the titular tenant of wildfell hall, helen (which thankfully, i think, is most of it) because the perspective of a woman who runs away from her abusive alcoholic of a husband is genuinely interesting and engaging, while gilbert, the frame story narrator who falls in love with helen, is.... the worst. i mean he’s not the worst bc the abusive husband arthur is there and hard to beat in terms of worseness, but he’s pretty fucking bad. imagine if helen had found out that gilbert attacked her secret brother over a misunderstanding, severely injured him & LEFT HIM TO DIE & then (when dude survived & the misunderstanding got cleared up) apologised like well i guess i didn’t treat you quite right! she’d have to run away from her second husband as well! poor girl. 3/5

[letspurpletogether]

Out of the Void || BTS

↳ Summary: The one where the boys stumble upon that one fic and they all end up reading. (This is a crack fic inspired by @btssavedmylifeblr’s Void, because my own words are not enough to describe how an amazing story Void it is, and what a outstanding writer Bee is).

⇢ Warnings: BEWARE OF SPOILERS!! This things should be full of them so I suggest you to read all of Void before reading this just in case. Also, for those entitled rude anons: stop demanding updates from the fan fiction writers like they owe you shit, cause they don’t! And stop coming at them to complain about their publishing schedule. This is done for fun and for free, if you can’t be patient and respect their creative process then fuck off!

A/N: Also, I had so much fun writing this. I wanted to keep adding and adding stuff. However, since english is not my mother language i had some trouble describing the scenes the way I pictured them in my head. Therefore, I decided to leave it like this for now. 

(TT-TT) Im sorry, Bee! I did try my best, I know it doesn’t do Void justice. But I still wanted to write it for you because Void is such an amazing story! 

That’s it! Please,enjoy!

→ 01

[...]

He shouldn’t be doing this.

Hoseok checked over his shoulder again before turning back to the phone in his hands. It wasn’t like if someone were to come into his studio right now and catch him watching porn.

Hell, this was so much worse.

Especially considering how he was supposed to be working on the rap arrangement for the new song, and not checking out a piece of fan-fiction... If Namjoon were to catch him he was going to give him hell for days.

He had strictly advised the six of them against it several times, but to be honest Hoseok was to eager to find out what happened next to actually acknowledge the suggestion. Besides, he was he eldest of the two and it wasn’t like he had to listen to his band member. Joon was only the leader when the cameras were out. Inside their dorms he couldn’t even remember to wash the dishes when he was supposed to or take the clothes out of the dryer so they wouldn’t end up a crumble mess the next morning.

Also, it was all Jimin’s fault.

His dongsaeng had sent him the link without any explanation last week. It was a silly thing they did to each other trying to make the other cringe with whatever weird-ass story they could find, mostly on Twitter. It was all for the laughs but they had stopped doing it when Hoseok had accidentally send Seokjin a rather explicit piece that involved Jimin and Yoongi in a threesome with some kind of catgirl trying to get her pregnant. It was meant for the young boy, of course and that slip of hand had resulted in a hysteric Seokjin exposing them right in front of the others.

Hoseok has been so embarrassed after that he couldn’t even look at Yoongi in the face for a whole ass week. Even though his hyung had said it was fine. It didn’t help that Taehyung and Jungkook wouldn’t let the topic die either. Those rascals, he made sure to make them wore their asses off in the following dance practices.

But anyways, he and Jimin had agreed to stop.

So it was a surprise to receive a new link from him after a couple months. He’d ignored it at first, being too busy with practice and rehearsals to bother with checking it up. But yesterday while waiting for his appointment with the cupping therapist, he’d absentmindedly opened it and was actually surprised with what he’d found. Written in English, it was a space story... and they were astronauts!

At that moment he been too oblivious to care and read the warnings or summary on top of the post. For a moment of innocent wonder he actually got caught up in the first scene. He was a scientist in space, it couldn’t get any cooler than that! But of course, he had soon realized what type of story it was.

The problem was that it didn’t start right off with the porn part like most stories he’s found while browsing the darkest depths of the ARMY’s fandom. He’d read some weird shit himself, demons, half-animal people, male pregnancyㅡHell! even tentacles once. The kind of things his fans could come up with was exhilarating, and it blew his mind that the weirdest and kinkiest were for some reason the best well-written of allㅡ.

But this story was different.

It had a storyline, an actual estructure, inciting incident, clear stakes, the whole pack. Years listening to his father reviewing novels and short-stories had resulted in him developing an appetite for well-written stories. And even though the main character was that Y/N type their fans where so keen about, she wasn’t plain at all. She struggled, and that was nice to read. Besides, all that astronaut stuff sounded so legit that he almost consider the possibility of the author being an astronaut herself. He’d always been a fan of fantasy and sci-fi since he was child and his father brought him the entire collection of Jules Verne’s novels for his eleventh birthday. Stories about voyages to far and unknown places were his guilty pleasure, so of course he got hooked up with this piece faster than he’d ever with any other he’d read so far.

But he couldn’t finished the chapter that time because the masseur was already calling his name. The scrolling bar told him he wasn’t even half way through it, so he’d copied the link for later and went to the therapist office. So now there he was resuming his reading with renewed eagerness.

The main character had just arrived at a green house inside the ship. And there was Yoongi.

Hoseok huffed and raised an eyebrow when he realized this scene focused all on his elder. Wasn’t he supposed to be the main character here? Not that he complained, though. Yoongi’s fingers where indeed nice after all and wouldn’t blame the girl for obsess over them. But in most stories he’d read there was always a lead, and he assumed by the first scene it was going to be himself. Maybe this was a threesome?

He quickly scrolled back up to the story information, searching for the pairing section where he knew his questions would be answered. /OT7 x reader/

He flinched.

“All of us? What...?”. Did that mean everyone was a love interest? Or that the main character was supposed to screw all of them at once? How was that supposed to work if there was just one woman in the whole crew?

Oh wait...

The realization hit him. Of course, that was the whole plot. Seven guys and one girl, and they had to fight for her love? It was something like that for sure, wasn’t it? She would pick one of them and then they’d have sex. He kept reading—

«Your deepest darkest fantasies- the ones you always turned to on your most stressed and anxious nights - were the ones involving the entire crew. The idea of them finding out what a slut you were for them and passing you between them filled you with an embarrassing level of arousal. You would imagine them taking turns filling you until all your thoughts of loneliness and emptiness had been fucked out of you. And you would sleep like a baby.»

—or not...

He scratched his chin, a little confused now. Was this actually going to be gangbang? Or more importantly, was he actually going to read this till the end? He did like threesomes, not that he’d been in one... Yet. Their schedules hardly ever allowed them to properly date someone, and hooking up with a random stranger was way too risky with the level of fame they’d reached at this point. But the idea of threesomes was very appealing, although he’d never actually consider having a gangbang with all his members. However... he wasn’t going to cross off reading about one just yet.

Just as he was about to resume his reading, the door flew open and Jimin‘s face appeared. “Hyung!”

Hoseok jumped in his seat, his phone fell on his lap.

“Shit...!”, he took a deep breath and glared at his band member. “You almost gave me a heart attack, Jimin!”

A sly grin appeared on the youngest face.

“Why? What were you doing?”

Hoseok cleared his throat. Had he been discovered?

“Nothing”, he lied so poorly he wanted to smack himself on the face.

“You were totally reading it, weren’t you?”, Jimin chuckled. “Did you get to the video part already?”

“No, what video part?”

Jimin raised both palms.

“Sorry, not going to give you any spoilers”

Hoseok rolled his eyes. “Anyway... Why did you send it?” He asked, retrieving his phone and unlocking the screen again. “I thought we agreed on not doing that anymore”

“Yeah, but Taehyung send it to me”

“What?” Hoseok frowned, and turned around in his chair to face the boy. That was a surprise. “Why would he...?” He shook his head, sometimes Taehyung needn’t a reason to do the most random things.

Jimin simply shrugged.

“He also sent it to Jungkook and Namjoon-hyung”, Jimin ran his hand through his hair and giggled. “I think everyone is reading it now”

“Wait- What?!” Hoseok chuckled and raised an eyebrow. “Are you for real?”

“Haven’t you checked the group chat?”

“No, I was...” Hoseok pressed his tongue against his cheek. “-reading”.

“Huh”Jimin wiggled his eyebrows. “Is cool isn’t it?”

“Well, it’s ... interesting”, he conceded. Jimin let himself in and plopped down on the spare chair he kept in his studio in case he needed to work with the senior producers.

“Who do you think she’ll choose?”

“For what?”

“Come on, hyung.” Jimin snickered, “You know what I mean”

“Are you sure she is supposed to choose one of us?”

“What-? Obviously...”, Jimin shifted on the sofa, his face stared confused at Hoseok for a moment. But then he gasped, suddenly realizing what he mean. “Do you mean-? All of us?!”

“Why not?” Hoseok shrugged. “It’s just a story, anyways. You know some of our fans like kinky stuff and there’s nothing wrong with that”

“I mean! I know that! Its not-”. Jimin’s face turned a bright shade of red. “W-we shouldn’t be reading about that. What if they get... ideas!” He brought a hand to his forehead and looked back at him with a worried expression. Hoseok spluttered in a laugh, but it soon dwindled when he realized Jimin was actually serious about his concern.

“Jimin...”

“Goddamnit...!” Hoseok observed as his younger member stood up and facepalmed himself “I’m an idiot! I bet that was Taehyung’s plan all along”

“Taehyung’s plan was to have us... read fan-fiction?”

“About a gangbang!”

Hoseok rolled his eyes.

“It’s just fan fiction, Jimin. Not a proposition”, he said, but Jimin wasn’t paying attention to him anymore.

“The others can’t read that. I have to stop them”, and he was about to storm out the door, but Hoseok had to stop him.

“Hey, hey!”, he grabbed him by the elbow. “Now you’re just exaggerating”

“No, I’m not”, Hoseok couldn’t comprehend why Jimin was so scandalized. “We can’t have a gangbang, hyung!”

“No, no, no!”, he “First of all, no one is having a gangbang. Second of all, why does it bother you so much?”

“It doesn’t!”

“Really?”

“I just don’t want to be... I don’t want to share a partner with the six of you”

“Why, you’re worried she might like it too much and dump you?” Hoseok teased. However, upon seeing Jimin getting all self-conscious, the smile was erased from his face.

“Jimin, come on. You don’t really think that would happen”

“I don’t know, you are all good looking and mature, and more talented that-“

“Stop it. You are not less than us, stop beating yourself so much specially over a fictional situation. Do you forget who has the third largest fan base among us?”

“It because ARMY likes when I act all cute and pretty, and want to baby me like a child. I’m the cutie, the tiny one...”, his voiced turned into an almost whisper at the end. “I’m never the big... manly man...”

“Jimin...”

“What?”

“This isn’t about the story, is it?”

“No... yes- well, not this one...”, he paused, looking at his feet, bashfully. “It’s just the other stories...”

“What other stories?”, Hoseok asked, but Jimin just shrugged. “I don’t get it...”

“Ugh- hyung it’s nothing really”, he was quick to reply, standing up again. “You are right, I’m so over-reacting... it’s just a story”

“Okay...”, Hoseok leaned back in his chair and looked again at Jimin who was standing next to the door. Hands behind his back, like a child waiting to be scolded. “You sure that’s all?”

“Yep”, that extra ‘p’ sound at the end was enough evidence that he was lying. But he was also aware of Jimin’s uneasiness so it was probably better to let him off the hook for now.

“Well, then...”, Hoseok rubbed his neck. “I really should get back to work then”

Jimin gave him a short smile and left without saying another word. Hoseok turned around in his chair to face his computer and actually get some work before the day was over.

But maybe...ㅡHe glanced at his phone next to the mouseㅡ, just maybe... one more chapter wouldn’t hurt either.

[...]

It was past three am when he arrived back at the dorm. He usually wasn’t the one to stay overnight at the studio like Joonie and Yoongi-hyung. But time flew from his grasp like an oiled rope after he finished the first chapter and he had to stay late to finish his assignments. He didn’t want Pdogg-hyung to yell at him in their next briefing. However, the pull of the story was too strong for him to resist.

He had gone to sleep right away, and with the first light the next day he was already reaching for his cellphone and logging into the Tumblr account he had created just for this. He needed to know what happened next, story-Jimin had to be out of his mind to give the main character a video of him masturbating. It was a risky move, he wouldn’t think Jimin was capable of it in real life... Maybe Seokjin-hyung was shameless enough to pull that one out, and Taehyung...

“Yeah, probably Taehyung...”, he mused to himself as he propped himself down on his elbows.

“Probably Taehyung what?”, Jimin’s sleepy voice asked from his side of the room.

“Oh! Jiminie, did I wake you?”, Jimin shook his head and asked again what he meant by ‘probably Taehyung’. Hoseok sat on his bed and stretched his arms. “Nothing, it’s just this story...”

“Why do you keep reading it, hyung?”, Jimin groaned and covered his face with both palms in exhaustion. Hoseok simply chuckled, Jimin’s concerns where silly. Plus, he wasn’t going to deny himself the pleasure of a good story just because his roommate thought his best friend was trying to get them to have an orgy.

“We are not having a gangbang, just relax”

Jimin huffed but didn’t argue further.

A sudden nasal shriek shattered the morning’s quietness and reached their ears through the door. Hoseok almost jumped off his bed to Jimin’s, what on earth was that? It sounded like some kind of hysteric bird .

“First you send me that porn thing and then you wanna talk about gangbangs?! Gangbangs!!”

Okay, that hysteric bird sounded like Seokjin now. And by the volume of it, it was coming from the kitchen.

“It’s not like that, hyung! You don’t even listen!” And that was definitely Joon’s.

Hoseok exchanged confused glances with Jimin that soon turned into curious ones. As if on cue, both of them got up their beds and ran into the kitchen to check on their band members.

Namjoon was leaning on the kitchen counter, a cup of coffee in one hand, the other scratching his forehead. Meanwhile Seokjin was beating some eggs in a plastic bowl, ranting about how much porn was acceptable in a household.

“It’s not porn! It’s basically literature!” Namjoon sounded as much fed up as he looked embarrassed. Seokjin let out a sarcastic chuckle.

“It’s porn! And you are a pervert!”

Namjoon rolled his eyes.

“If you could just read it-!”

“I have enough with the viruses that keep popping on the computer because of you shady search historial!” It was hilarious just listening to them arguing back and forth like and old married couple. But Hoseok was more curious about whether they were talking about what he though they were.

“Is this about the space story?”, he chimed in, resting his elbows on the marble island across Seokjin’s cooking station. Jimin climbed on a stool next to him.

“You too, now?”, Seokjin huffed, giving him and Jimin disgusted look. “Not that I’m surprised, considering your fascination with breeding cats”

“It was a cat-girl! And that was a mistake!” Hoseok’s ears suddenly burned. “But whatever...”

“Wait- So did you read it, or not?”, this time Namjoon was the one to speak.

“I am reading it, I’m on chapter two”, he replied and Jimin nodded along.

“Did you get to the video part right?”, Joon asked and before Hoseok had a chance to speak, Seokjin’s loud huff cut him off.

“Can I cook in peace without having to hear about how much you want a gangbang, pleaaaaase?”

“Com’on, hyung! I never said I wanted a gangbang!” Namjoon shot him a glare before turning back to Hoseok. His hands came to fondle with the fruit bowl in front of him.  “What I was trying to explain to this hyung is that I do think it’s an interesting guessing exercise for figuring out the extends of human behaviour in such adverse conditions”

“But you said you wanted to do it!”

“No! I said to explore it as in talk about it! WITH WORDS!”, Namjoon glared at their hyung, as a faint blush covered his cheeks. It was clear that “If you could’ve just listened for a moment instead of acting like a scandalized prude!”

“Yeah, hyung. It’s just a story, you are over reacting”, said Jimin, taking Hoseok by surprise considering all he had to say about it last night.

“Well, forgive me for not wanting a gangbang!”

“No one’s having a gangbang, for God’s sake!”

“I wouldn’t mind”, a fifth voice joined the conversation out of the blue and all the heads turned in the direction of the hallway.

Yoongi-hyung was leaning against the wall, arms crossed and messy bed hair. A slight frown hardening his features. He’d most likely woken up because all of the noise.

Seokjin let out a sarcastic chuckle.

“You too, Yoongi?”

“How long have you been standing there?”, Jimin asked. Yoongi shrugged off a yawn and walked over to grab an apple from the bowl Namjoon was holding. 

“It’s hard to keep sleeping with this hyung nagging so loud this early in the morning”, he pointed to his eldest and bit on the fruit.

“You know what?!”, Seokjin scoffed, and put aside all his cooking implements. “Y’all can make your own breakfast! Seriously...”

And walked away.

“So noisy...”, Yoongi mumbled as he munched on his apple.

“You read it too, hyung?”, Namjoon asked. Yoongi turned to him, leaning on his elbows. Hoseok’s eyes betrayed him as they followed Yoongi’s movements and the way he arched his back, lifting his ass in the air so subtly.

“Since Tae shared it in the group chat I figured I should give it a try”, he shrugged seemingly desinterestedm, but Hoseok knew him better than that. Yoongi liked to pretende he didn’t care about stuff other that making music, but it was clear to him by the way he was behaving, that the older rapper had enjoyed the story a little bit too much. “It was good”.

“You’re only saying that because you are not the main character”, said Jimin.

“At least I’m not the character that gave the girl a video of me jerking off”

“First of all, she asked! and second, you messed up big time keeping that memory card, hyung!”

Yoongi sneered at the younger boy. 

“I got her off, you didn’t”

“Wait, what are you-?”

Jimin’s face turned a bright red, his nosetrils flared. Namjoon just chocked a laugh, almost knocking off the fruit bowl. For a moment, Hoseok only stared in confussion at them. He couldn’t recall something like that happening in the story yet and he realized they were probably far ahead of him. 

“Hey! Don’t give me any spoilers! I haven’t reached that part yet”.

But Yoongi and Jimin just ignored him, continuing their teasing banter.

“I don’t think she’ll forgive you. EVER!”

“She was thinking of me while fucking you”

“At least I got to- to... be with her!”

“You can’t even say fuck without blushing. Space-Jimin is lightyears ahead of you”, a smug grin appeared in Yoongi’s face, clearly pleased with his joke and Jimin’s fuming face.

“That’s a bit rich coming from you, hyung”, Namjoon said with a smirk. “I mean, last time I checked you couldn’t even look at Halsey in her training clothes without turning red as a beetroot”

“That’s-!”, Yoongi coughed, a bite of the apple going the wrong way. Suddenly matching Jimin with his red cheeks. “That’s different!”

“Neither one of you would ever dare to act like the way the author portraits you. Just admit it”, Namjoon snickered. “You don’t have what it takes”.

“Oh, and you do?”

“I’m just saying if the seven of us where trapped in a spaceship and there’s just one woman for miles and miles...”, He crossed his arms, chin raised proudly. “I’m guessing you’d be too shy to get her attention”.

“It’s not a competition, anyway. It’s a story and it has already been written”, argued Yoongi. “And I was her first choice”.

“Technically it was Hobi”, Jimin pointed out. “She was so ready to throw herself over him in that lab scene”.

“Well Hobi doesn’t count here because he did nothing”

“Excuse me?”, Hoseok scoffed. “Clearly I’m the best character, unlike others I’m actually being professional”.

“Yeah, right. Professional until Yoongi-hyung tells you he screwed the main character”, Taehyung popped up from behind him making Hoseok shriek in surprise, followed closely by a sleepy-faced Jungkook.

“You little-! You almost killed me!”, Taehyung only laughed, joining the his chuckling hyungs.

“And he didn’t screw anything- anyone!”, said Jimin.

“Well, his fingers did”.

“Stop talking!”, Hoseok shoved Taehyung aside and shook his head. “You’ve already spoiled the story for me enough as it is! At least let me finish the chapters before we talk about this”.

“Yeah, maybe we shouldn’t talk about it before breakfast”, Namjoon scratched his chin. “Gguk, go tell Jin-hyung he can come back now”.

“Why, was he here?” asked Jungkook. 

“He left because he didn’t what to have a gangbang”, Yoongi answered, almost offended, like he was telling Jungkook his hyung had turned down some fishing trip.

Jungkook’s eyes where suddendly wide open.

“What-?!”

“It’s the story, nevermind!”, Jimin waved a hand in the air in dismissal.

“Wait, so we can’t have a gangbang?”

“Are you serious right now, hyung?”, Jimin gave Yoongi the side eye. His hyung response was simply shrugging.

“I like to keep my options open”.

“Yeah, maybe one thing you shouldn’t keep open is your mouth”. 

The group erupted in laughter at Jimin’s witty comeback. Yoongi raised the hand that held half an apple and pretended to throw it at Jimin’s head, only to join the laughter when the dancer fell from his chair by his motion.

Hoseok chuckled and shook his head. 

What a way to start the day.

. . . .

[razorsadness]

in the two weeks since I last wrote a personal post:

—I went through the worst bout of dysphoria I’ve gone through in a while. I was like the Goldilocks of gender: “This outfit is too feminine! This outfit is too masculine!” Except for like a week I couldn’t find any outfit that felt Just Right, so I ended up wearing blah/boring things because it was like: “Well, I don’t look right in anything, so why even try?” I also had chest dysphoria during that time, which didn’t help. I don’t experience chest dysphoria very often, mostly I’m okay with having tits, but during this recent bout I couldn’t wear anything that accentuated my chest in any way without feeling like I wanted to rip my tits off. Thankfully, I am now past that bout of dysphoria, and feel generally okay about my wardrobe and gender presentation(s) again.

—I got sick, again. Once again, not CoViD (thank g-d), just a regular old cold. It still sucked, and of course there was the added thing of checking my temperature several times a day and generally freaking the fuck out. I’ve been getting sick so much this year, and I couldn’t figure out why, you know, I kept going: “But I haven’t been going anywhere, or hanging out with anyone, so how can I be catching all these colds?” Forgetting, of course, that I have always gotten sick after bouts of extreme activity or stress, and even though I’ve been trying to rest plenty and take care of myself...this year has been so damn stressful that my immune system is just ground down to nothing.

—Speaking of CoViD, P. and I have to get tested again tomorrow, because he was exposed at work on Friday. Some fuckhead rich guy knew he’d been exposed, and was waiting on his test results, but decided to come into the club for golfing and drinks anyway, and then found out later that day that his test came back positive. P. and I are probably fine (knock on wood), because P. didn’t come in close, prolonged, or maskless contact with him (he only saw the guy long enough to slide drinks to him across the bar, so he was more than six feet away and everyone was masked the whole time), but just the level of entitlement and irresponsibility... Not to mention, the people he was golfing with, who he probably did give it to—he didn’t tell them beforehand, either, and one of the people in his party is the doctor who runs the fucking ER at the hospital here in town. What the fuck is wrong with people? Anyway, yeah, so now we’re quarantined until we get our results (not that we’ve been going anywhere we haven’t had to, anyway), so please send me good vibes that my house is CoViD-free, thanks.

—My period started a week early. I think it may actually be a (super super early on) miscarriage. Because: a. my period usually starts on the exact day it’s due, maybe a day before or after at most, so when it’s this far off it means something Weird is happening, and b. I’ve had a couple super early on miscarriages before so I know what they feel like and this felt like that.

—Thanksgiving night I was thinking about Christmas, and “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” popped into my head and that song is brutal enough any year, but this year???? Someday soon we all will be together, if the fates allow / Until then we’ll have to muddle through somehow / So have yourself a merry little Christmas, now. I fucking wept.

—Three nights ago I had a dream that a bunch of my best friends/fave zinesters (like J.E., A.G., J.C., et. al.) and I were doing a big group zine reading in Philadelphia. So now I miss my friends even more than I already did, and I miss Philadelphia (even more than I always do).

—A year ago at this time, we were beginning our last few rehearsals for the Tom Waits tribute show, and now I’m missing all those people too, and listening to a lot of Tom Waits, which of course makes me think of yet other people I miss. Thinking of the Dark Jazz man a lot, and of the brief time, oh, 14 years ago, when I was certain he was The One. I’m not sad that I didn’t end up with him, there’s lots of reasons why it never would’ve worked long-term, but I miss him.

—I’ve also been thinking a lot about my extended family, my cousins on my mom’s side. Thinking about back when we spent every Thanksgiving together. All our weird traditions, like how after dinner we’d go out and explore the muddy backroads of southwest Michigan, then go to Country Kitchen for fried stuff with cheese or to Denny’s for milkshakes. That all ended years ago, because my cousins and I all moved to different places and got careers and/or families that made it harder to travel back. I miss them.

—I mean, I miss everything and everyone all the time. It’s nothing new. This whole pandemic biz just exacerbates it. I think a lot of that quote from Cometbus #55 where Yula says to Aaron: “You always worried about what you were missing out on, and what might have been. Ever consider how that feels to the people you are around? Sometimes it seemed like you wanted the past more than anything else. Of course, because it’s the one thing you could never get. The past - your perfect girlfriend!” It’s the same way for me.

—Speaking of: I had to change the URL of this blog because P. read it. We had a big blow-up fight this summer, because of things he read in my zines, and I thought we’d worked through it then, but then he sought out this blog and read through it. He thinks that I’m trying to keep secrets from him, but none of this stuff is “secret,” exactly, it’s just that I express myself differently in my writing and in blog posts for strangers on the Internet than I do to him, in the same way that, say, I talk differently to my best friend than I do to him, or my mom, or... And I feel incredibly violated, actually. I know, “if you don’t want people reading it, don’t put it on the Internet,” but also...if you tell someone you don’t want them reading certain things and they do it anyway, isn’t that a betrayal of boundaries? You’d think after being with me for over a decade he’d understand. He doesn’t get that I embellish things, but I’m a fucking poet, I use poetic license, I romanticize, I use hyperbole, I don’t always make explicit when something happened, I combine multiple events into one event, I feel things intensely and write intensely about those things, I blur fact and fiction... I’ve tried to explain all of this to him. Repeatedly. I’ve also tried to tell him that stuff he’s assuming happened recently may have actually been years ago, and he wouldn’t know the difference if he read it out of context, but even that... He has never understood why I’m so hung up on the past / what might have been, thinks it’s some personal failing of his or our relationship, even though, again, I’ve tried to explain that’s just how I am and always have been. (See: The past - your perfect girlfriend! See also: Why hold on to so much? / Where can I put it down?) And I really thought we’d cleared the air after our fight this summer. I did understand that it hurt him that I hadn’t had him read anything I wrote recently (though for years I actually didn’t even think he cared about reading my stuff, but that’s another rant for another time); so I gave him copies of all my most recent stuff, and promised I’d continue to do so whenever I put something new out. But I really didn’t think he’d come find and read through my side-blog. It’s not just the betrayal of boundaries, it’s also... He knew that reading through my blog would upset him, because he knew that he would see things out of context or make assumptions that weren’t true, and it’s just like, dude. If you knew it was going to be a problem, why did you do it?

I have gone through similar situations with so many people I’ve been in relationships with. It always starts out with me giving them my stuff to read or at least being open to them reading it, then they get upset about something they read, so then I stop giving them my stuff/ask they no longer read certain things, so then they think I’m hiding stuff from them, so then they seek out the stuff I didn’t give them, and then read something that makes them even more upset... Or that whole dichotomy of “why don’t you ever write about me?” then I write about them and they’re pissed about the way in which I wrote about them... See: never fuck a zine-writing girl / it’s a STORY. UGH. (Not to mention he’s also doing that other thing that so many of my dude-partners have done—he’s ready to punch every dude who’s so much as sent me a flirtatious email, but women I’ve made out or slept with? Eh, no big deal. It’s regular old jealousy with a dash of bisexual erasure and I love it...not.)

In the past this kind of stuff has been a dealbreaker, but I’m not going to leave him. He promised he won’t read my blog anymore, but I changed the URL just to be safe (this was after I freaked out really bad the night before last and said I was going to delete all my blogs and everything else off the Internet). I promised I’ll be more open and communicative with him (though I think I have been; it’s just that he seems to think I’m hiding things from him because I don’t tell him every time I’m having tender thoughts about an old flame or getting crushed out on a poet that I don’t even know IRL? IDK), and continue to give him copies of or send him links to new things I have out (everything other than my blog, basically).

I don’t know. I don’t think either one of us is 100% in the wrong here. I think we both have valid feelings and fears, and I think both of us has handled things poorly in the past, and said and done shitty things. This strengthening-your-relationship thing is not for the weak, I tell ya. We were both pretty emotionally checked out from each other/our relationship for a long time, in different ways (and not always/all ways), and checking back in with each other can be incredibly painful, especially when we’re dealing with all this shit we’d repressed or hidden for years.

Also, I fucking miss LiveJournal so much. This kind of thing was so much easier in the LJ days, when I could pick and choose what to leave public and what to friends-lock.

—Here, a list of some things I’m thankful for, so that this entry isn’t just whining:

*Writing—I “finished” NaNoWriMo. That is, I got past the 50,000 word mark, and came to some sort of “ending.” The novel’s an absolute wreck, though—it’s meant to be a bit experimental, with lots of time-jumps and different PoVs, but I’m not sure I have it in an order that makes even a modicum of sense to anyone but me; also there are a loooottt of probably extraneous descriptions and tangents because, as a friend once said to me, I tell stories like Kerouac. I’ve also started writing poems again, for the first time in a few months they’re just kinda flowing; I’ve started working on a b-side of sorts to my Courtney Love chapbook, amongst other things.

*Art. I’m still painting a lot, and I am just so thankful I have a room in the house for an office/studio/study. I can write, or work on press-stuff, or make art, or have the kids come in for arts and crafts projects, or just sit in the window and read, or dance around to whatever music I like, or...

*My kids. They both amaze me every day. And I love that I’m the type of mom I am. I used to feel badly, like not a good parent, for lots of reasons, but now I’m realizing that what I lack in some areas of parenting, I make up for in others. Yes, I’m moody and impatient at times, and I’m not always on top of housework, but I’m creative, I’m smart, and I’m good at showing my kids how much I love them. Recently we’ve been doing lots of DIY projects, including making homemade playdough, which has been a real hit (both the making of it and the playing with it). I’ve taken time this month to teach them (well, mostly D.) about Native American history as well as the Land Back movement; I’ve explained to them that while we do have Native American ancestors and relatives, we aren’t ourselves Native (that concept is a little tricky to explain, but I think at least D. understood). And the other day, C. was playing a silly make-believe game with some of his toy animals, that involved a “bad brontosaurus” going to “dinosaur jail.” I played along but also managed to find a way to work in an (age-appropriate) little bit about prison abolition. I think it worked because his game ended with all the animals hugging each other and stomping on the jail together!

*Food. I’ve been missing diners and diner food something fierce, so I found this “Diner Jukebox” playlist on Spotify and I’ve been listening to it while making myself diner-inspired food. Lunches of grilled cheese and soup; breakfasts of eggs over-medium and bacon and toast. And always with coffee, of course. Thanksgiving itself was great. We ordered a ready-to-reheat Turkey Day dinner from a local restaurant, plus made a few of our own sides to go along with it. We had a ton of leftovers, so of course there have been a lot of Thanksgiving leftover sandwiches. I’ve since frozen the rest of the turkey + the carcass, so I can make homemade turkey and wild rice soup sometime soon. And I have a bag of fresh cranberries I never ended up using on Thanksgiving, so today I put them in an apple-cranberry cake.

*Drink. Hot toddies have become my special indulgence, I have them in the late afternoon maybe once or twice a week. I usually make something tea or cider-based, but Saturday I went extra decadent. I made hot cocoa, added peanut butter whiskey, then topped the whole thing with whipped cream and drizzles of chocolate syrup and peanut butter. OMG.

*Etc.: I’ve been managing money really well, so we’ve got all our bills paid up and still have money left over for Xmas. We’ve got plans for a mini-vacation for my birthday next month—P. and I and the kids are going to drive up to Door County and stay a few nights at my parents’ place there. They won’t be there, so it’ll be safe CoViD-wise, and yeah, we’ll just be staying in there, but it will at least be a change of scenery, and we can go on winter hikes in Peninsula State Park, get takeout from our favorite pizza place, and cuddle by the fire. I’m being interviewed by this professor from England who’s writing a book about the politics of Joe Strummer and The Clash and their influence on people. A fan of my writing specifically gave him my name and then he read some of my Joe-related writings online and said he really wanted to hear from me because, and I quote: “I can see that Joe Strummer has permeated not only your thinking, but your soul as well.” Holy shit, right? And just all the everyday moments of beauty—raindrops hanging like glass beads from the mulberry bush in our backyard; the shadow of the waxing moon in the afternoon sky on a Thanksgiving Day walk; taking drives with my kids to look at people’s holiday decorations.

I’m not trying to minimize the hard stuff, but right now, more than ever, it’s important for me to hold on to the good things.

[mytrashs-blog]

Movie Star

Pairing: BFF! Tom Holland x Reader

Warnings: Angst, SO MUCH ANGST, swearing, Tom being an asshole, there’s a mention of an injury...

Summary: Tom is your best friend, but fame can change a lot of things.

Word Count: 2,609 (Probably the longest one piece I’ve done)

A/N: So! This is an entry for @unholyhaz and @spidey-waffles11 #marvellouswafflescelebration writing challenge. I am actually quite proud of this baby and how freaking painful it is. I was having a hard time with the prompt because I kept wanting to write it the same way it happened in the movie, so yeah, I’m very happy with this. Enjoy! (Please if you do like it, reblog it so it can be read by more and more people).

Part two

(This pic doesn’t belong to me, I took it off google, but I did edit it a little)

You never thought your friendship with Tom would end up like this. Ruined. Potentially forever, and the worst part is that you can’t even be mad about it. He’s been dreaming about becoming big in the movie industry since you were like 7 and dancing ballet at the studio everyday, so him getting big should be something to be happy about, right?

Only it isn’t. And not because he’s always busy and barely even texts back, not even because he never has time to hang out anymore, nor is it because he seems to always be in the other side of the world either filming another damn Marvel movie or any other movie, or promoting his work. No, all of those reasons were not enough to wreck your friendship. What finally did it was the fact that he became so full of himself that you couldn’t stand hearing him talking when you did get to see him. He’s kind of an asshole now.

So you snapped. You were out in a pub with him, Harrison, the twins and a couple of your friends, Tom was telling you about how unacceptable it was that his manager tried to get him, to spend a night in LA in a 4 star hotel instead of a 5 star or a damn Airbnb apartment, how he was tired of this neglecting behaviour from a person that eats from the 5% of his paycheck, and you lost it.

You may be bestfriends with this guy, but you definetely didn’t have the same economical status, and you have to work a normal job like everybody else, you don’t get 5 star hotels ever, for gods sake you don’t even get to travel that often, the only time you’ve been out of the country was when Tom took you to Atlanta to do some reshoots back when the first Spider-Man happened, so you made well sure to tell him he was behaving like a brat, posh and whiny rich kid. And he didn’t like it, so he called you a jealous uptight bitch that’s bitter because an ankle injury killed off her career, which was a low blow. So you stormed out of the place.

It was a pretty public scene and there were a few videos from different angles of nearby tables at the pub and a few pictures of both of you screaming at each other, and of you getting out of the place while fuming, and of Tom getting his car a driving off while visibly pissed. It’s been the story of the moment (at least in your life). All your social media was full of Tom’s fans calling you a fake friend, a bitch, a brat, whore, slut… some even sent death threats, which was a bit disturbing, but not surprising.

Of course Tom wasn’t helping at all either, he stopped following you, but didn’t block you so you could see him liking all the rude messages directed to you, and he was being very very vocal about the importance of having real friends and how loyalty is a very important thing and how he had to learn that the hard way very recently. So yeah, like a whiny rich boy.

You were scrolling down instagram, trying to focus on something else, but the notifications were still blowing with comments and tags on rude posts, so decided enough was enough and you started an Instagram Live, not even 1 minute in and you already had a handful of people watching and commenting snake emojis and very strong language words, but you ignored it as you started talking.

“Hello everyone, thanks for all the lovely wishes, I apreciate them a lot, you don’t wanna know. So, I’m here because, since I don’t go around doing interviews for a job, I have to find an outlet to let out my side of the story, because all stories have more than one side and one shouldn’t decide on a side unless you’ve heard all sides of it- the story, I mean.

Tom and I became best friends since day one of us meeting, that was 16 years ago, we were always inseparable and I always knew I had someone to rely on and he had someone to rely on in me. Pretty strong bond. I always knew he wanted to be an actor, the best actor he could be, and I always knew he would make it, because he’s always been so incredibly talented and dedicated and he was very determined, so when he finally got his big chance being casted as Spider-Man I was the first one to celebrate him. As his fame and recognition started growing, he started hanging out with a lot more celebrities and he started picking up on personality traits that aren’t that cool, but at the beggining it was so minimal that I’d just ignore it.

By the time he was filming Far from Home, I think, he was a full on movie star. Every place we’d go, a few cameras would follow and fans would show up, and he loved putting on a show for everyone, to the point where he’d ignore anyone that’s with him. But that’s no the worst part. I can forgive him for having an ego, we all have one, some are bigger than others and that’s cool, but what’s not cool is being condescending to the people who work with or for you. I dont’t believe in people from first or second class, for me everyone is equal and everyone’s work is just as dignified and worthy as anyone else’s, that’s why I finally lost my respect for Tom, because he started treating people that don’t have the same level of privilege as him like they’re less than him. That’s not the way we were raised, those are not the values that my best friend has and I know it’s all because of all the media attention he has.

You all give everything to him in a silver platter, so he now became a bratty movie star, another self centered celebrity that feels entitled. So congratulations. You have created a celebrity, but you have wrecked a human being inside. And I don’t feel like I deserved to be attacked this way for not wanting to put up with being belittled and treated like a peasant. Thanks.”

You finished the live and you broke crying, of course. It hurts to know that your best friend is no longer, that you’re never gonna have all those amazing midnight adventures. Like when you escaped from your houses at 15 to go to that crazy party all the school was attending but your mothers wouldn’t let you go. You remember how you got drunk after just one or two beers and ended up walking and giggling back home at 3am. You were in so much trouble the next day.

Or when he got casted as Peter Parker and you were so happy that you spent the whole night laying in his bed talking about all the hard work you both had done to make your dreams come true. That night he told you how he was proud of you for working so hard on your dancing career and how you were his favourite dancer ever. And you told him that you always knew he’d make it. You promised each other to always be there for the other.

He was the first to arrive to the hospital when you had the accident onstage that ended your career, he held you on those long nights when you’d cry and cry, he was there when you were angry at the world for not letting you have your dream. He helped through everything and never left your side until you were back on your feet and you had a new plan for your life.

He’s not here now though. He’s the one holding the gun on your back and you were the one that threw the first punch. You feel guilty. You ruined everything. You should’ve told him that he shouldn’t behave that way. Of all people, it should’ve been you holding his feet on the ground, and now it all went to shit because of you. It’s all your fault and maybe you do deserve the furious fans and the creepy reporters jumping on you every now and then, and maybe you deserve all those messages because maybe you were a fake friend.

You really don’t have the evergy to get out of bed for the days that followed. It could’ve been just two days, or a week, maybe even months for all you knew; but you stayed in bed, you would cry, eat and sleep and nothing more. Your phone was in some unknown place of your house, you hadn’t even attempted to find it and maybe it ran out of battery long ago, but who cares? definetely not you. You were walking around in your pajamas, looking for ice cream in your freezer or maybe some chocolate bars, or chips… or whatever came to view first, but you were interrupted by the ring of your doorbell and then a knock on your door, you thought about ignoring it, but then they knocked again so you brought yourself to the door and opened it.

You froze when you saw Tom on the other side of your door, looking probably just as destroyed as you do, red puffy eyes, messy hair, he was wearing sweatpants and an old shirt, an unusual look since now he’s always trying to look his absolute best. This guy in front of you resembled your best friend since childhood more than any of the high fashion versions of Tom, but it still ached in your heart that he was in this state in your front door unannounced.

“Tom… w-what are you doing h-here?”

“I uh… read a rumor and I needed to see it wasn’t true.”

“What?” You suddenly feel your blood boiling. The only reason he came was because of some rumor he read, he doesn’t regret anything, he doesn’t miss you, he just wants to see if some stupid rumor is true. You go to close the door in his face but he pushes the door.

“You wanna know what it was? Y/N listen to me, please!” You try to push harder, but he’s way stronger than you are so you give in and let him in, but the frown never leaves your face and you cross your arms over your chest.

“I’m listening.” You really don’t want to get your guard down, but the way Tom is looking at you right now makes it really hard. He looks at you the way one looks at a youth treasure you found after years of longing. The way you look at a flower that grows against all odds in the middle of a desserted field. And it’s making you feel very aware of him. You notice how the bags under his eyes are deeper than ever, his skin doesn’t look as flawless and polished as it did the last time you saw him, you can even see some spots around his forehead, you notice how he’s still unable to tame that eyebrow and how they also look a little unplucked, you can also see the tarce of a beard, the kind that tells you that maybe he didn’t shave this morning and even the day before that, and his hair is not only messier but it’s also longer. And it’s grounding to see him look so human, vulnerable and real right in front of you.

“There were some rumors going around that you might’ve… that you maybe… y-you had..”  For some reason he was unable to look you in the eye, and every time he tried to speak he’d take a small step closer to you. “That you maybe had… comitted… suicide…”

You froze where you stood, and maybe your jaw fell slack, and maybe you even stopped breathing, where the fuck did he read that? What the actual fuck are people saying? your blood started boiling with rage, not even at Tom anymore, but at the world, why does everyone suddenly feel entitled to say those terrible things and why? Because you haven’t been on social media in a long time? People seriously need to understand that other people exist outside the internet and the have lives outside social media.

“I seriously hate people. Well… here I am, alive and well, is that everything?” you ask as you raise a brow, expecting him to say something else, but he looks at you taken a back, he’s at a loss of words because he was expecting this to fix things.

“Umh… yeah?”

“Okay then, I’ll walk you to the door.” You say flatly and start making your way back to your front door.

“Y/N wait… I do need to say something else” He grabs you by the wrist and turns you around, you end up mere inches away from him, his hand still holding you. His gaze roams all over your face, he looks down at your lips while licking his, but then he looks up to your eyes. “I’m sorry. About everything. I was a dick, and maybe I am an idiot for realizing I don’t want to lose you until I read those terrible things and it hurt as hell to even imagine a world without you in it. I don’t want to live the rest of my life without your surprise texts when I’m away filming, or your weird gif replies, or our film nights and crazy getaways. You’re the best friend that I have. And I love you, Y/N. I really, really do, and I’m sorry it took me so long to admit that to you.” If this had happened a few months ago, you would have kissed him already. You loved him for such a long time, it almost hurt you, you had all those feelings for him stored inside you and at times it felt like they couldn’t fit anymore and you’d just explode, but that changed. You changed. And so did he.

“I accept your apology, Tom.” you took a long pause before speaking again, and you could see in Tom’s eyes that it was killing him to wait, every second feeling longer than the previous, until you spoke again. “But it’s gonna take a lot more than that to fix our friendship. I’m sorry I don’t share your feelings, but I received death threats over twitter, so many hate comments coming to me everyday… and you were liking them, encouraging people to keep attacking me! You expect me to just forget about that and act like it never happened? And you expect me to just throw myself at your arms and live happily ever after? It really doesn’t work like that, Tom. You have to go now.” He stayed looking at you for a moment, and you could see the heartbreak in his eyes, but your own heart was breaking aswell. Maybe you could fix this, but it would take more than this, and right now you could not see him in your apartment.

“Please leave Tom” Your voice was just a pleading whisper at this point, but Tom did let go of your wrist and you sighed when you felt the cold breeze hit the skin where his hand had been. He walked past you and opened the door, taking one last look at you as one single tear fell from your eyes. And the door closed.

---

Tagging a few people that might be interested so it doesn’t flop :)

@caeruleum-in-caritate-lupus, @softstarkk, @peterparkerbabyy, @dottirose, @legit-fandom-trash, @carostar2020, @appreciating-chase-brody, @mvmakki @madmadmilk @hollandrecs @starksparker @sunshinehollandd

[sunsetsover]

hello i know i’ve been gone for a couple of weeks and i disappeared without a trace and originally that was because ben’s deafness storyline was bringing back a lot of my own personal experiences that i dealt with when coming to terms with my disability and it was (and still is) really really hard to see what he’s going through and how shitty it is and how badly he’s handling it both because it genuinely is a tough thing to see but also because it reopens all these wounds and gives me anxiety and stresses me out bc reminds me of what i went through and what was easily the toughest and darkest part of my life and obviously that’s no fun to relive lmao

however at this point i’m just staying away bc every time i poke my head in to check what’s going on i’m seeing the most fucked up opinions and takes on the whole thing that it’s actually genuinely making me really angry and upset because the way some of you talk about ben’s disability and situation and specifically the way he’s handling this massive petrifying change in his life speaks volumes about how you view disabled people in real life. because yeah, this is a tv show and ben isn’t real, but things like this happen to people. it happened to ME. and guess what!! i did the exact same fucking thing ben’s doing!!! i isolated myself and felt miserable and got angry and acted out and did stupid shit and hurt the people that cared about!!! and i did that because i was terrified and suffering and hurting and angry!!!! and i’m fucking real!!! i’m a real person and i know for a fact i’m not the only person out there who’s dealt with this kind of thing and reacted in this kind of way. so yeah, you might be sitting behind your fucking keyboards saying all these things about ben being selfish or dramatic or unreasonable or whatever else and think it’s ok because ben’s not a real person but you forget that there are real disabled people reading this shit and potentially internalising those things and feeling like THEY have to deal with their situation in a certain way or that they can’t feel certain things because some able bodied dickhead on tumblr dot com feels like they’re entitled to give their shitty fucking input on how disabled people should react to or deal with their disability - and this apparently means we’re not allowed to break down or be upset or act out because that’s too dramatic!!! ben should just shut up and have his operation right!!!! he should just stop misbehaving and causing so much trouble because it’s inconvenient!!! it’s not fair on callum right!!!!!!

like for some reason some of you cannot see beyond the end of your fucking noses to see that this has absolutely NOTHING to do with callum!!!!!! what the fuck does callum have to do with the fact that ben is having a fucking break down!!!!! what does callum have to do with the fact that ben is scared and acting out in the only way he knows how because he’s desperate to prove he isn’t different and that nothing’s changed and that he can still do the things he’s always done!!!!! callum has so fucking little to do with what ben’s going through at the moment and yet some people cannot look at this horrible situation that ben’s dealing with through anything other than a ballum lens and it fucking REEKS

ben lost his fucking hearing, he’s isolated, he’s feels like he’s lost so much of his self, he’s angry, he’s scared, he’s upset, he’s petrified he’ll never hear his daughter’s voice again - his daughter who got hit by a fucking car because he couldn’t hear it and now he feels like he’ll never be able to look after her or keep her safe the way he should - and yes he’s acting out because of all of that!! that’s what happens when you can’t accept your disability!!! you’re determined to prove you can do what you could before no matter what it costs you!!! and yet i’ve seen MULTIPLE people reduce that to ‘well he shouldn’t do that because it’s unfair and inconvenient for callum’!!!!!!!!!! or ‘ben isn’t putting enough effort into his relationship with callum/thinking about callum’!!!! or ‘this is just angst porn that serves no purpose’!!!!!!!! do you not have a brain in your fucking head!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! his brother’s just died!!!!! he’s just become deaf!!!!!!! he can’t fucking hear!!!!!!!!!!! he might never hear again!!!!!!! and is facing major surgery that might not even work!!!!!!!!!!!!! like hello!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! of course he’s struggling and acting out!!!! the fact that so few of you seem to be able to comprehend what’s going on is genuinely worrying

the fact of the matter is that some of you are upset that you don’t have your able bodied ship being all cute and domestic anymore. YOU are the ones who feel inconvenienced or slighted, and you’re projecting that onto callum bc that’s how you can get away w saying this bullshit. bc - and i know this might come as a shock to some of you - when you care about and love someone, you support them when they’re going through such a difficult time. you try to be as understanding as you can. also just look at who callum is as a character. you think he wouldn’t understand ben’s behaviour rn??? like come on!! so maybe it’s YOU that has the problem. maybe it’s YOU that doesn’t like it bc ben’s struggling through this in an ugly (but COMPLETELY valid) way and that’s inconvenient for you bc, whether you’re even aware of it or not, being disabled is an inconvenience. disabled people are hard work. this is just how most able bodied people see disabled people. if you’re reading this and you’re able bodied, you’re not immune from this. you’re not special. like any other prejudice, it’s something you just subconsciously learn and you might not even be aware of. but i’m telling you as a disabled person, the way some of you are speaking abt ben/this storyline tells me everything i need to know about how you view disabled people. so maybe take a step back and ask yourself why you’re saying what you’re saying and why you may feel the way you feel regarding this particular sl. bc for a lot of you, whether you wanna admit it or not, the answer is ableism. 

i didn’t want to make this post bc i don’t LIKE being confrontational!! i wanna be polite and kind and fair!!! but some of you have to understand that when you’re saying some of this shit you’re basically disregarding/making light of/taking the piss out of disabled people and their experiences. maybe you’re not even aware you’re doing it, but that’s exactly what it is. that’s exactly what it comes across as, and that’s exactly what it feels like to read some of the things you post as a disabled person (and it’s not just me - i know for a fact this stuff is affecting other disabled people in this fandom too). it’s upsetting, it’s invalidating, it’s HUMILIATING. and i’m fortunate enough to be a point in my life where i’m at relative peace w my disability, but if this were 5 years ago?? you have no idea how reading some of this shit would have fucked with my head. so the fact that i know there are other disabled people out there reading this stuff and it’s affecting them is more important to me than not starting drama on tumblr dot com. their feelings mean too much to me for me to just sit here and not say anything bc i don’t wanna upset people. some of u need to be upset. it’s the only way you’re gonna learn.

literally all i’m asking is for you to think about the things you say before you post them. ask yourself why you feel a certain way about things. ask yourself if what you wanna say is potentially gonna hurt or upset or insult a disabled person who might be reading it. ask yourself if you just wanna say some bullshit abt ben bc you’re just mad callum isn’t getting more screentime. bc if the answer is yes i promise you your opinion is unhelpful, unneeded and unwanted. so maybe just u know. keep your mouth shut.