#i put a LOT of thought into the titles

[erinwantstowrite]

I've been meaning to ask, but is the title for LoF a reference to something or a song lyric?

<3 <3 <3

the chapter titles are references to songs (all of them are meticulously chosen) but the title itself is a reference and a connection to the story itself.

"Leap of Faith" comes from Spider-Man's 'Leap of faith" quote (mostly inspired by Miles in ITSV), and it also sort of ties in to the fact that Dick is a Flying Grayson and etc. It symbolizes how many times Peter has to put his trust into people and himself during the story.

"Catch Me, if You Can" is directly from Peter. Peter's taking a leap of faith as both Spider-Man fighting his first big enemy and as Peter Parker, trying to trust people. He's trying to trust the Bats to help him in this strange universe, and also trying to trust Tony and the others back home to come looking for him. He's asking them to catch him when he jumps for it (which is also a reference to the Flying Graysons, being acrobats that have to trust their partners to catch them).

((Basically, the title could be shortened to 'Trust Fall' lol))

In the chapter where Batman and Spider-Man play tag with the sticky notes, "Catch me if you can!" is a reference to the title (*cinema sins ding noise*) and a hint that it connects to Peter and everyone trying to catch up to him. They've basically been playing tag this entire time, with Peter being a few steps ahead of them, and this is the turning point. Batman catches up to Peter because Peter finally decides to play the game the way it's supposed to be played. It's one big metaphor for how the arcs have been going

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

oh hey! i was reading a fic the other day where Wangji was once misspelled as Wangu. which leads me to: MDZS Pingu-style??? noot noot!

Do you think love can bloom on the sea ice?

[nightowlfury]

tidbits from kant's file:

the file is updated for this year, 2567 = 2024. i'm not sure what the 353 means

kant's birthday is 27 march (มี.ค.) (year is blurry but we know it must be 2537/8 aka 1994/5 since he's 29. march has very likely passed in the show so im 95% sure it's 2538 (also looks more like an 8))

his career is listed as free/independent which i assume (probably?) means self-employment basically which would make sense. im not privy to thai census record terminology though

lives in bang phlat district. it's right on the chao phraya

im not great with names so i could be a little off, but it seems like his dad's name is phong junior..? he has อนุ in his name which i think can mean junior, but typically means small/kid/minor (roughly)

mom's name is samon (means beautiful/beloved woman lol)

under spouse (wife/husband) "miss" something is listed (นางสาว___) (possibly also ms.). cuts conveniently off lol. very likely he was/is married*

not sure what's under the spouse line. includes 173 ช.ม. (i believe). ชั่วโมง is hour, which is the only word i can think of it might abbreviate. 173 hours? shrug

*im curious about this, like everyone probably, but since this file is updated to 2024 and this person is listed under spouse, wouldn't that imply they're still technically married...?

at the same time, it says miss, not mrs. like kant's mom. However, mrs. is just นาง as opposed to miss = นางสาว. สาว means 'young woman'. i dont know if that means anything but i wonder if women who marry young/in their teens are still referred to as นางสาว. but Even if that were the case (which is a big if), wouldnt her title be updated now that she's presumable older in 2024? unless she like. uh. died

[demigod-of-the-agni]

Spider-Man India, but... where from India?

A SUPER long post featuring talks of: cultural identity, characterisation, the caste system, and what makes Spider-Man Spider-Man.

I’m prefacing this by saying that I am a second-generation immigrant. I was born in Australia, but my cultural background is from South India. My experiences with what it means to be “Indian” is going to be very different from the experiences of those who are born and brought up in India.

If you, reader, want to add anything, please reblog and add your thoughts. This is meant to be a post open for discussion — the more interaction we get, the better we become aware of these nuances.

So I made this poll asking folks to pick a region of India where I would draw Pavitr Prabhakar in their cultural wear. This idea had been on my mind for a long while now, as I had been inspired by Annie Hazarika’s Northeastern Spidey artwork in the wake of ATSV’s release, but never got the time to actually do it until now. I wanted to get a little interactive and made the poll so I could have people choose which of the different regions — North, Northeast, Central, East, West, South — to do first.

The outcome was not what I expected. As you can see, out of 83 votes:

THE RESULTS

South India takes up almost half of all votes (44.6%), followed by Northeast and Central (both 14.5%) and then East (13.3%). In all my life growing up, support towards or even just the awareness of South India was pretty low. Despite this being a very contained poll, why would nearly half of all voters pick South India in favour of other popular choices like Central or North India?

Then I thought about the layout of the poll: Title, Options, Context.

Title: "Tell us who you want to see…"

Options: North, Northeast, Central, East, West, South

Context: I want to make art of the boy again

At first I thought: ah geez. this is my fault. I didn't make the poll clear enough. do they think I want them to figure out where Pavitr came from? That's not what I wanted, maybe I should have added the context before the options.

Then I thought: ah geez. is it my fault for people not reading the entire damn thing before clicking a button? That's pretty stupid.

But regardless, the thought did prompt a line of thinking I know many of us desi folk have been considering since Spider-Man India was first conceived — or, at least, since the announcement that he was going to appear in ATSV. Hell, even I thought of it:

Where did Spider-Man India come from?

FROM A CULTURALLY DIVERSE INDIA

As we know, India is so culturally diverse, and no doubt ATSV creators had to take that into account. Because the ORIGINAL Spider-Man India came from Mumbai — most likely because Mumbai and Manhattan both started with the same letter.

But going beyond that, it’s also because Mumbai is one of the most recognisable cities in India - it’s also known as Bombay. It’s where Bollywood films are shot. It’s where superstar Hindi actors and actresses show up. Mumbai is synonymous with India in that regard, because the easiest way Western countries can interact with Indian culture is through BOLLYWOOD, through HINDI FILMS, through MUMBAI. Suddenly, India is Mumbai, India is a Hindi-only country, India is just this isolated thing we see through an infinitely narrow lens.

We’ve gotten a little better in recent years, but boy I will tell you how uncomfortable I’ve gotten when people (yes, even desi people) come up to me and tell me, Oh, you’re Indian right? Can you speak Hindi? Why don’t you speak Hindi? You’re not Indian if you don’t speak Hindi, that’s India’s national language!

I have been — still am — so afraid of telling people that I don’t speak Hindi, that I’m Tamil, that I don’t care that Hindi is India’s “national” language (it’s an administrative language, Kavin, get your fucking facts right). It’s weird, it’s isolating, and it has made me feel like I wasn’t “Indian” enough to be accepted into the group of “Indian” people.

So I am thankful that ATSV went out of their way to integrate as much variety of Indian culture into the Mumbattan sequence. Maybe that way, the younger generation of desi folk won’t feel so isolated, and that younger Western people will be more open to learning about all these cultural differences within such a vast country.

BUT WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH SPIDER-MAN INDIA?

Everything, actually. There’s a thing called supremacy. You might have heard of it. We all engaged with it at some point, and if you are Indian, no matter where you live, it is inescapable.

It happens the moment you are born — who your family is, where you are born, the language you speak, the colour of your skin; these will be bound to you for life, and it is nigh impossible to break down the stereotypes associated with them.

Certain ethnic groups will be more favourable than others (Centrals, and thus their cultures, will always be favoured over than Souths, as an example) and the same can be said for social groups (Brahmins are more likely to secure influential roles in politics or other areas like priesthood, while the lowers castes, especially Dalits, aren’t even given the decency of respect). Don’t even get me started on colourism, where obviously those of fairer skin will win the lottery while those of darker skin aren’t given the time of day. It’s even worse when morality ties into it — “lighter skinned Indians, like Brahmins, embody good qualities like justice and wisdom”, “dark skinned Indians are cunning and poor, they are untrustworthy”. It’s fucking nuts.

This means, of course, you have a billion people trying to make themselves heard in a system that tries to crush everyone who is not privileged. It only makes sense that people want to elevate themselves and break free from a society that refuses to acknowledge them. These frustrations manifest outwardly, like in protests, but other times — most times — it goes unheard, quietly shaping your way of life, your way of thinking. It becomes a fundamental part of you, and it can go unacknowledged for generations.

So when you have a character like Pavitr Prabhakar enter the scene, people immediately latch onto him and start asking questions many Western audiences don’t even consider. Who is he? What food does he eat? What does he do on Fridays? What’s his family like, his community? All these questions pop up, because, amidst all this turmoil going on in the background, you want a mainstream popular character to be like you, who knows your way of life so intimately, that he may as well be a part of your community.

BUT THAT'S THE THING — HE'S FICTIONAL

I am guilty of this. In fact, I’ve flaunted in numerous posts how I think he’s the perfect Tamil boy, how he dances bharatanatyam, how he does all these Tamil things that no one will understand except myself. All these niche things that only I, and maybe a few others, will understand.

I’ve seen other people do it, too. I’ve seen people geek out over his dark brown skin, his kalari dhoti, how he fights so effortlessly in the kalaripayattu martial arts style. I’ve seen people write him as Malayali, as Hindi, as every kind of Indian person imaginable.

I’ve also seen him be written where he’s subjected to typical Indian and broader Asian stereotypes. You know the ones I’m so fond of calling out. The thing is, I’ve seen so much of Pavitr being presented in so many different ways, and I worry how the rest of the desi folk will take it. 

You finally have a character who could be you, but now he’s someone else’s plaything. Your entire life is shaped by what you can and can’t do simply because you were born to an Indian family, and here’s the one person who could represent you now at the mercy of someone else’s whims. He’s off living a life that is so distant from yours, you can hardly recognise him.

It shouldn’t hurt as much as it does, yeah? But, again, you’re looking at it from that infinitely narrow lens Westerners use to look at India from Bollywood.

AND PAVITR PRABHAKAR DOESN'T LIVE IN INDIA

He lives in Mumbattan. He lives in a made-up, fictional world that doesn’t follow the way of life of our world. He lives in a city where Mumbai and Manhattan got fucking squashed together. There are so many memes about colonialism right there. Mumbattan isn’t real! Spider-Man India isn’t real!! He’s just a dude!! The logic of our world doesn’t apply to him!!!

“But his surname originates from ______” okay but does that matter?

“But he’s wearing a kalari dhoti so surely he’s ______” okay but does that matter?

“But his skin colour is darker so he must be ______” okay but does that matter?

“But he lives in Mumbai so he must be ______” okay but does that matter?

I sound insensitive and brash and annoying and it looks like I’m yapping just for the sake of riling you up, so direct that little burst of anger you got there at me, and keep reading.

Listen. I’m going to ask you a question that I’ve asked myself a million times over. I want you to answer honestly. I want you to ask this question to yourself and answer honestly:

Are you trying to convince me on who Pavitr Prabhakar should be?

... but why shouldn't i?

I’ll tell you this again — I did the same thing. You’re not at fault for this, but I want you to just...have a little think over. Just a little moment of self-reflection, to think about why you are so intent on boxing this guy.

It took me a while to reorganise my thinking and how to best approach a character like Pavitr, so I will give you all the time you need as well as a little springboard to focus your thoughts on.

SPIDER-MAN (INDIA) IS JUST A MASK

“What I like about the costume is that anybody reading Spider-Man in any part of the world can imagine that they themselves are under the costume. And that’s a good thing.”

Stan Lee said that. Remember how he was so intent on making sure that everybody got the idea that Spider-Man as an entity is fundamentally broken without Peter Parker there to put on the suit and save the day? That ultimately it was the person beneath the mask, no matter who they were, that mattered most?

Spider-Man India is no less different. You can argue with me that Peter Parker!Spidey is supposed to represent working class struggles in the face of leering corporate entities who endanger the regular folk like us, and so Pavitr Prabhakar should also function the same way. Pavitr should also be a working class guy of this specific social standing fighting people of this other social standing.

But that takes away the authenticity of Spider-Man India. Looking at him through the Peter Parker lens forces you to look at him through the Western lens, and it significantly lessens what you can do with the character — suddenly, it’s a fight to be heard, to be seen, to be recognised. It’s yelling over each other that Pavitr Prabhakar is this ethnicity, is that caste, this or that, this or that, this or that.

There’s a reason why he’s called Spider-Man India, infuriatingly vague as it is. And that’s the point — the vagueness of his identity fulfils Lee’s purpose for a character that could theoretically be embodied by anyone. If he had been called “Spider-Man Mumbai”, you cut out a majority of the population (and in capitalist terms, you cut out a good chunk of the market).

And in the case of Spider-Man India? Whew — you’ve got about a billion people imagining a billion different versions of him.

Whoever you are, whatever you see in Pavitr, that is what is personal to you, and there is nothing wrong with that, and I will not fault you for it. I will not fault you for saying Pavitr is from Central due to the origins of his last name. I also will not fault you for saying Pavitr is from South due to him practising kalaripayattu. I also will not fault you for saying he is not Hindu. I also will not fault you for saying he is a particular ethnicity without any proof.

What I will fault you for is trying to convince me and the others around you that Pavitr Prabhakar should be this particular ethnicity/have this cultural background because of some specific reason. I literally don’t care and it is fundamentally going against his character, going against the “anyone can wear the mask” sentiment of Spider-Man. By doing this, you are strengthening the walls that first divided us. You’re feeding the stratification and segmentation of our cultures — something that is actually not present in the fictional world of Mumbattan.

Like I said before: Mumbattan isn’t real, so the divides between ethnicities and cultural backgrounds are practically nonexistent. The best thing is that it is visually there for all to see. My favourite piece of evidence is this:

It’s a marquee for a cinema in the Mumbattan sequence, in the “Quick tour: this is where the traffic is” section. It has four titles; the first two are written in Hindi. The third title is written in Bengali*, and the fourth title is written in Tamil. You go to Mumbai and you won’t see a single shred of Bengali nor Tamil there, much less any other language that's not common in Maharashtra (Western India). Seeing this for the first time, you know what went through my head?

Wow, the numerous cultures of India are so intermingled here in Mumbattan! Everyone and everything is welcome!

I was happy, not just because of Tamil representation, but because of the fact that the plethora of Indian cultures are showcased coexisting in such a short sequence. This is India embracing all the little parts that make up its grander identity. This scene literally opened my eyes seeing such beauty in all the diverse cultures thriving together. In a place where language and cultural backgrounds blend so easily, each one complementing one another.

It is so easy to believe that, from this colourful palette of a setting, Pavitr Prabhakar truly is Spider-Man India, no matter where he comes from.

It’s easy to believe that Pavitr can come from any part of India, and I won’t call you out if the origin you have for him is different from the origin I have. You don’t need to stake out territory and stand your ground — you’re entitled to that opinion, and I respect it. In fact, I encourage it!!!

Because there’s only so much you can show in a ten minute segment of a film about a country that has such a vast history and even greater number of cultures. I want to see all of it — I want him to be a Malayali boy, a Hindi boy, a Bengali boy, a Telugu boy, an Urdu boy, whatever!! I want you to write him or draw him immersed in your culture, so that I can see the beauty of your background, the wonderful little things that make your culture unique and different from mine!

And, as many friends have said, it’s so common for Indian folks to be migrating around within our own country. A person with a Maharashtrian surname might end up living in Punjab, and no one really minds that. I’m actually from Karnataka, my family speaks Kannada, but somewhere down the line my ancestors moved to Tamil Nadu and settled down and lived very fulfilling lives. So I don’t actually have the “pure Tamil” upbringing, contrary to popular belief; I’ve gotten a mix of both Kannada and Tamil lifestyles, and it’s made my life that much richer. 

So it’s common for people to “not” look like their surname, if that’s what you’re really afraid about. In fact, it just adds to that layer of nuance, that even despite these rigid identities between ethnicities we as Indian people still intermingle with one another, bringing slivers of our cultures to share with others. Pavitr could just as well have been born in one state and moved around the country, and he happens to live in Mumbattan now. It’s entirely possible and there’s nothing to disprove that.

We don’t need to clamber over one another declaring that only one ethnicity is the “right” ethnicity, because, again, you will be looking at Pavitr and the rest of India in that narrow Western lens — a country with such rich cultural variety reduced to a homogenous restrictive way of life.

THE POLL: REINTERPRETED

This whole thing started because I was wondering why my little poll was so skewed — I thought people assumed I was asking them where he came from, then paired his physical appearance with the most logical options available. I thought it was my fault, that I had somehow influenced this outcome without knowing.

Truth is, I will never really know. But I will be thankful for it, because it gave me the opportunity to finally broach this topic, something that many of us desi folk are hesitant to talk about. I hope you have learned something from this, whether you are desi or a casual Spider-Man fan or someone who just so happened to stumble upon this. 

So just…be a little more open. Recognise that India, like many many countries and nations, is made up of a plethora of smaller cultures. And remember, if you’re trying to convince Pavitr that he’s a particular ethnicity, he’s going to wave his hand at you and say, “Ha, me? No, I’m one of the people that live here in the best Indian city! I’m Spider-Man India, dost!”

(Regardless, he still considers you a friend, because to him, the people matter more to him than you trying to box him into something he’s not.)

*Note: thank you dear anon for letting me know that the third title was Bengali, twas my mistake for literally completely forgetting

[surreal-duck]

live drama adaptations (1/?)

(next)

[murderous-coffeebean]

The Birth of Copia

Way back in January, I hurt my right hand and I couldn’t draw - or do much in general without pain - with it. Then a friend’s recommendation got me into Ghost and their music really helped me through a time when I felt quite down and restless as I thought I wouldn’t be able to pursue any of my hobbies for quite some time (which was mostly true). But then I bought tickets to a Re-Imperatour ritual and spent the next two months working on this shirt design with my left hand instead. Needless to say, it tested my patience a lot at times, but my left-handed drawing improved quite a bit and I had a lot of fun, which was something I greatly needed at that time. My right hand is better - although not fully healed yet - and I’m seeing Ghost next week (!!!) and I shall be wearing my self-made shirt. <3

@thebandghostofficial

[undertale-fic-librarby]

Dust to Dust

An angsty drabble focused on Dream to celebrate reaching 100 followers. This has not been beta read but I briefly skimmed through it for mistakes. This was written in one sitting, & may be fast paced as I was very high energy while writing it. Trigger warning for character death! Happy reading!

At first, Dream doesn't even notice that his brother has stopped attacking. With all the chaos going on around him, attacks flying from every angle & shouts coming from different directions, it's not a surprise.

So Dream keeps fighting, not stopping until he's startled by a loud cry from Killer. "Boss!" A little shaken, Dream looks around himself quickly to make sure no one is sneaking up on him before looking towards where the yell had come from.

He spots Killer easily, seeing him crouched over...Nightmare? That can't be right though, Nightmare was just attacking him moments ago! It has to be some kind of trick, he thinks to himself.

But as the moments pass & the fighting dies down as more people start to notice what's going on, Dream starts to worry.

Had he actually hurt his brother? Why wasn't Nightmare getting up? He'd walked off Dream's arrows before, why was this one any different?

Dream stumbles towards where Nightmare lay, now surrounded by the gang that his brother had collected, subconsciously. He doesn't pay attention to his teammates yelling for him to come back to them, nor his brother's followers yelling at him to stay away.

The only important thing is that none of them try to stop him as he approaches, falling to his knees & putting both of his hands on Nightmare, bow long having dissipated from his lack of concentration to keep it from fading away.

Shaking his brother's shoulder slightly, as if that would make him sit up & say that it was all some horrible joke to make him feel bad, Dream whispers out a broken, "B-Brother?"

But there's no response, not even a groan or a twitch to show that Nightmare was even still alive. He had to be though, Dream couldn't have actually killed him, right? This was all some big trick, or maybe a bad dream, as ironic as that would be.

As unaware as he is, it takes a moment for Dream to register the body beneath his hands starting to dust, parts of his brother drifting away in the slight breeze slipping between the monsters surrounding them both.

Dream starts to tear up at this, a sob building as he frantically tries to stop it, to no avail. Muttering senselessly under his breath, drops of liquid magic drip down his cheeks as his hands & forearms become covered in more & more dust. "No no no no no-"

Panicked as Dream is, he doesn't register the whispers around him, both his own teammates & Nightmare's muttering about what was going on. Had Dream truly defeated his brother once & for all? It certainly seemed so.

Unable to contain it any longer, he bends down until his skull is resting against Nightmare's body & lets out a scream of anguish, fists clenching around nothing as the arm they previously clung to faded into dust.

Dream screams for as long as he can, panting for breath between sobs as his tears hit the dusting body of his brother below him, mixing with the dust & causing it to clump. As he tries to regain his breath, he finally registers the sharp pain all over his body & looks down...

Oh. It would seem that he was dusting as well.

Dream has the sudden urge to scream again, but can't seem to find the energy as he slumps over Nightmare's partially dusted body.

Perhaps this was his punishment for killing his twin, the one that he had grown up with & known for both of their lives. Perhaps this was mercy, allowing him to be with his brother again & not forcing him to live without the other.

Whichever it was, Dream had little time before he could no longer think, the pain of his body dusting away while still conscious consuming him. Before long, the only thing that remained of the two was a pile of dust & a single golden circlet resting peacefully on top.

[laundrybiscuits]

(wait for the season to come back to me tag)

“We still on for dinner this Thursday, or are you gonna reschedule again? Because I swear to god, Steve, I will break into your apartment and set up camp if I have to. It’s been years. Centuries.”

“It’s been a month, Henderson.”

“I barely remember who you are anymore. What’s your name again? How do I know you? We’re actually very happy with our current cable provider, thanks.”

God, that kid is such an asshole. Steve loves the shit out of him.

“Listen, I’ll see you on Thursday and explain everything, okay? Actually, uh—I’m kinda calling to give you a heads-up. Got some big news, so you should, like…brace yourself.”

Dustin’s quiet for a long, worrying moment.

“Steve. You have got to know that that’s the least helpful thing you could possibly say. You’re not even gonna give me a hint, man?”

“Wish I could. It’s not a bad thing, okay? Just big. Like…Upside Down big.”

“Okay, for my own peace of mind, I’m going to pretend you’re completely overreacting about the fact that you, like, got a dog or something.”

“I’m not—”

“Peace of mind, Steve! See you Thursday at my place! Don’t cancel or I’ll kill you!”

Steve’s left laughing into the dial tone. Honestly, he’d mostly called so Dustin couldn’t complain afterwards about not getting an advance warning. There’s just no way to hint at the whole Eddie thing without Eddie being present and accounted for; it would be the worst kind of cruel.

Steve can’t imagine what he’d have done to anyone who tried to tell him Eddie was alive without any kind of proof. It wouldn’t have been good.

“So we’re telling Henderson on Thursday?” Eddie jostles Steve’s shoulder. Steve thinks he’s been doing that a lot more lately.

“Seems like,” says Steve.

———

They take the train to Dustin’s place in Wilmette as soon as it gets dark out. Eddie’s bundled up in a nondescript hoodie and one of Steve’s denim jackets, looking like every other Chicagoan braced against the cool evening air.

They haven’t been going out all that much. Robin keeps asking if Eddie wants to do any tourist stuff, maybe the museums or something, but he always shrugs off the offers. Steve would’ve maybe expected him to want to get out and explore, now that he’s not cooped up anymore, but Eddie mostly seems to want to sleep, read, and watch TV.

Robin’s been on a campaign to educate Eddie about the ten years of pop culture he missed. “It’s essential for rehabilitation,” she says. Steve is pretty sure it’s just an excuse to make them rewatch all of Robin’s favorite movies, because some of the stuff she brings home was definitely already out in 1986.

Eddie draws the line at letting Robin show him music, though: “Nope, nuh-uh, no freaking way. I wouldn’t have listened to that shimmery synth shit if I’d been alive and free every single day of the last decade, and I’m not gonna listen to it now.”

Steve does have a few metal cassettes, but he feels weird about bringing them out. It feels like he’s crossing a line, somehow—admitting to something. So instead, they’d all traipsed over to the Tower Records a few blocks over, and let Eddie roam around sampling things.

To Steve’s surprise, Eddie hadn’t actually picked up that many metal albums. He'd grabbed the new Accept and some Alice in Chains, sure, but he also picked up Nirvana and Soundgarden. He had gotten into a conversation with a very helpful clerk that ended with the clerk scribbling a number on a business card and handing it over with a grin and a promise to make Eddie try some local act called Wilco next time.

Obviously Steve’s happy that Eddie’s making friends and charming people. He’s legitimately fucking thrilled that other people are finally seeing how great Eddie is, because Eddie deserves that. Eddie deserves the world, and if he wants to date some random clerk, he should get to.

It’s just that if Eddie Munson comes back from the dead to start dating some random clerk, Steve is going to have to go live at the bottom of Lake Michigan. That’s all.

[giantkillerjack]

Uh-oh! You are like, SOOO awkward!!

You're so awkward that it is occasionally mildly uncomfortable for people!

You're so awkward that sometimes people are confused by you and then there are awkward silences!

You're so awkward ...... that ultimately no one is harmed!!

Oh damn!!! What a vile crime you have committed! What an unforgivable thing it is to make a fellow human briefly confused!

Why, if *I* were ever briefly confused and kind of uncomfortable as a result, I'd be devastated.... by the absolute net zero change in my happiness and health! - From which I might never recover!! Yes indeed! No punishment can ever be enough for you!!

So you better absolutely hate yourself for it.

Better be SO MEAN to yourself about every single missed social cue so you don't forget your horrible crime! Meaner than you'd ever dream of being to someone else for the same thing! This is YOUR responsibility!

You need to show the world that you KNOW you are bad by punishing yourself constantly! After all, think of all the people who BENEFIT from you punishing yourself! - No, really! Think about it! Think about who benefits from your pain.

Think of alllllll the definitely-good people that your definitely-necessary self-torment definitely helps! I mean, you can't just cut off their definitely-life-sustaining supply of your suffering, right?? Sure, everyone else has a breaking point, but you're probably the only person in human history who doesn't, right? Best not to question it probably. Sure, it's a symptom that billions of people with trauma have had, but who knows? You could be a one-in-seven-billion exception. Anything's possible!

Instead, better just accept that idea that bullies carry like guns in holsters - the idea that people who have trouble with social cues deserve to suffer. Better carry on the burden they placed on you until you drop. Aid the cause of the callous by enforcing shame and suffering upon yourself extra hard; try your best to do their work for them. They're very busy.

Better not recognize that you need patience and kindness to heal from your trauma. Better not find out that it was trauma rather than personal weakness filling your head with self-hating thoughts. Better not find out it wasn't your fault.

Better not find out that awkwardness is not inherently harmful or unkind, and, in fact, the people who act like it is *are the ones enacting harm and being cruel.*

Better not get righteously angry when you realize just how much unnecessary damage this has done to you. After all, if you get mad, you might realize you deserve better. You might even feel brave enough to DEMAND better! You might build boundaries that keep you safe! You might make other people think they deserve to feel safe too! And we obviously can't be having that, so...

Better not show yourself even a little kindness a little bit at a time.

Better not make a habit out of it after all that practice.

Better not get confident.

Especially if you can't first wipe out every trace of awkward. (And you probably never will. Because people who experience absolute social certainty at all times tend to be insufferable assholes that enforce the status quo. And you just don't have the stock portfolio for that.)

Better not be confident and awkward because then you might confuse and delight people

- you might accidentally end up making other people feel less shame for their social difficulties

- you might make isolated, traumatized, and shy people feel like they deserve to be included in social situations

- you might even make them feel they can be themselves around you

- you might start loving the effect you have on a room

- you might enjoy conversations more

- you might forgive yourself and bounce back from shame more easily and frequently

- you might come to enjoy some of those moments of harmless confusion you cause because NOBODY expects the Confident Awkward, and that can genuinely be an advantage in social situations

- you might stop apologizing so much.

- you might find that socializing is like a video game: it requires practice but also a safe space for it to be fun and positive.

Or if you can't become assertive and confident, better not remain awkward and shy and quiet, and then love and forgive yourself anyway!

Why, it would be carnage!!

In either scenario, you run the risk of finding out that it's not your fault that safe spaces full of kind people can be really hard to find, create, and nurture. You could end up building a skillset that helps you do those things if you're not careful!

If you start giving yourself even the tiniest amount of grace at a time, you will find that you've accessed a gateway drug with extreme long-term side effects:

- You might realize that it was never your fault that it took so long to like yourself.

- You might realize that you were always worth talking to, even when you didn't like yourself and communication felt impossibly difficult.

- You might realize that you'll still be worth talking to even if communication becomes harder as you age and/or experience disability.

- You might come to know that you deserve to be heard even on bad days when words come slow and blurry.

You might discover that you were always deserving of kindness, first and foremost from yourself.

So. As you can see, it's FAR too much of a risk to start granting your awkward self free pardons for your many heinous and harmless crimes. Better to just leave it there.

[neerdowellnarrator]

When is an ice moon a star diamond?

Based on the tags of this post by @zukkacore and @hauntedwizardmoment

There is a moon of Jupiter called Europa. When Europa is farther away from Jupiter it’s a ball just like most moons and planets, but as it gets closer,Jupiter’s gravity pulls it and it stretches “like a rubber band” out of shape.

A then it continues on its orbit and Jupiter’s pull lessens, and it goes back to being a ball. But evidence of Jupiter’s warp is written in the cracks across Europa’s surface.

I’m sure we all know the story of Europa’s namesake. What if a god stole you away from everything you knew and loved and you never went back. But the story of the planet Europa is equally applicable to one Jace Stardiamond.

Whar if you were irrevocably tied to something much bigger and more important than you? What if that thing pulled you close with so much force it completely changed your shape? What if even after you got some distance the changes your god wrought upon you were stamped across your skin?

What if everything you were and everything you could have been had to be erased to avoid being pulled into Jupiter’s atmosphere and burning alive? Europa could have let go of the bull and drowned in the ocean. Do we call her complicit in her assault just because she held on?

Jace Stardiamond, do you want this life?

What will you do, when it is your turn in the field with the god?

[arvoze]

[3/3] HHNFLARTAS - what's done is done

hell hath no fury like a rescue team association scorned not a fic or anything, i just ramble a lot about my pmd ocs in a digestible format that's more or less that kind of content. random yearly event for rescue teams. covers no more than like, one week of VV content

[ 1 / 2 / X ]

the rescue team association #1, again

there comes a point where it gets complicated. the RTA can't let you pass just because you completed their challenges -- you could cheat to win, and that wouldn't be reliable, after all. there's a million and one technicalities to consider.

yes, keith's team saved the rescue, who came back safe and unharmed. they also secured the item at the end of the dungeon. so what gives?

you never split the team. the rescue takes priority.

but they did the rescue. does it really matter? you can't just go off of stuff like this. there's specifics to it. it's a case-by-case basis.

both parties are right, in their own way. it's not a black and white case.

..

in the RTA's defense, they aren't wrong. you've got to consider how their actions would come across out of context.

a rescue has been secured. a member has split from their team, taking the rescue with them.

they split from the team. this puts them in immediate danger. they also have the rescue with them, so they're endangering the rescue as well.

if the solo member is incapacitated, the rescue is at incredible risk. the member is also at risk.

team splits can cause multiple problems to arise at once. it may also be seen as a disagreement.

extreme measures had to be taken to ensure the remaining members completed their goal.

the usage of a flood orb is not commonplace. team inventory will not always have this item available. it cannot be considered a reliable solution to a problem.

relying entirely on one item makes you a liability. it can be considered an easy way out.

the monster house was not fully defeated, simply temporarily disposed of. if the orb failed to work, the team would not have survived.

if the rescue was there, they could have been swept up in the confusion.

their general behaviour may be seen as too immature and unreliable.

this only checks out if they're monitored during their dungeon run. the three have a lot of chemistry with eachother, and have a lot of banter together. when you're unaware of how they talk to eachother, it can be seen as constant bickering and arguing.

regardless of how seriously they take the job when it's required (since they don't really like to be tense the whole way through), they have lapses of silliness and tomfoolery. this is because the RTA is incredibly boring and hate fun.

they barely even survived. let's be honest.

this is self-explanatory.

the rescue team association #2

in the defence of keith's team, you'd have to consider the following:

a rescue has been secured. mike has split from the team, taking the rescue with him.

he split from the team, a mutual agreement between all three members. they decided that this was the best way to get the rescue to safety. mike is strong and fast enough to get the rescue out of the dungeon with his remaining energy.

mike didn't become incapacitated. and if he was close to such, he can take matters into his own hands to really save his skin, and, more importantly, the rescue.

there was no disagreement, and mike was going backwards. he wasn't taking any new paths and discovering new things/triggering events. he was simply backtracking, taking the safest routes.

the rescue plant, an undetermined pokemon of undetermined rescue knowledge, agrees that this was the best decision to make given the circumstances.

extreme measures had to be taken to ensure keith's team could complete their goal.

this is because luwel prepared for the worst. when you plan for a rescue, you already know what kind of environment to expect, so you prepare thusly; this is no different. if it were a real job, and keith's team were the only pokemon available, it would be the exact same -- luwel would prepare the very same items as he did for this adventure.

they had the flood orb, which meant it was available to them at the time. a problem was predicted, planned for, and then solved. this is how it should be.

keith's team did not rely on a singular item. instead, luwel took the time into planning out the right items to carry with them, getting a rough estimate on the dungeon size and how difficult the job would be. to say the item is the sole reason they survived is to completely undermine luwel's ability to plan ahead.

a monster house does not have to be defeated in order for either goal to be met. if a third task was to defeat a monster house, then this would apply. but this was not the case, so it does not.

the rescue would have been accounted for. keith's team will make quick decisions, but they will never forgo the rescue to make them. the rescue, had they been present in the room at the time of the orb's use, would have been given a heads-up, and the team would take the initiative to keep the rescue safe before using the orb. additionally, the rescue was not even there at the time.

keith's team communicate with eachother frequently, including having light conversation, as well as constructive discussions about eachother.

sorry that you're too unfamiliar with a good relationship to understand their dynamic. the rescue would state that despite the circumstances, they did feel that keith's team had great communication. this is a non-issue, and exists just to make the cause for failure bigger than it actually was.

there's a lot of back-and-forths. guildmaster rime is not happy with the results.

the rescue team association #3

truth be told, there's… really not a lot that the team can do about the situation. what's done is done. they can fight their case if they really wanted to, but it's just resources wasted. as far as they're aware, at least.

guildmaster rime has always been in keith's team's ballpark. hell, keith is like a son to him, he is a son to him -- keith's going to inherit his guild, for goodness sakes! how can rime be succeeded by someone who failed the master trials for no real good reason? it won't do. it just won't do. the guildmaster is typically in agreement with the RTA when it comes to grading, as a seasoned explorer himself -- but to not consider keith's case? to fault them on technicalities alone? it's not right. it isn't fucking right. he'll do something about it. or at least, try to.

as a guildmaster, rime has some form of contact with the RTA. it's a required system in order to have a guild be truly recognised in the world, and additionally mandatory for any teams to earn ranking points. he drops a line of inquiry into the guild's connection orb, but there's been no response for several days. despite his grievances with the system, rime knows better than to push.

..

the boys have already forgotten about it, for the most part. they're discouraged, but they know in their hearts what they truly are: a good team who did the right thing. keith tries to distract himself by ranting and raving about the process of getting another flood orb. luwel's been trying to distract himself by writing up varying arguments to plead their case, which isn't really a distraction at all. mike is… unbothered. he cares, but doesn't have enough faith in the system, and settles more on the idea of "we know our truth and that's that, if they can't see it that's on them". every time luwel brings up a possible counter-point, mike gives him a thwap on the head. "best to keep it to yourself," mike says. "i dunno if keith can take it".

they cross paths with team PB&J occasionally, who, against all odds, ranked in the top 100. keith would say it was a total fluke that they did, and truthfully, he's right. it pisses him off further.

..

it's been about a week. the RTA responded to rime, after sending a rotom drone or two out to survey the boys. none of them noticed. nothing really fun or exciting to report on. the drones were simply just monitoring their day-to-day, to see how they've decided to take the results. it's invasive, and certainly not something they consented to, but the RTA can do whatever they want if you more or less work for them. thankfully, they do not find luwel's musings, as he gave up before the first surveillance.

rime's call is short-lived. there's not much to say, according to the RTA. the final findings were, essentially, "agree to disagree". they'd argued that because the case wasn't black and white, a true, rightful verdict couldn't be settled on; this uncertainty meant it was safer to fail keith's team than it was to pass them.

nobody had the desire to combat the RTA of all people about the decision any further. failing due to just barely missing the mark was better than failing due to sheer ineptitude, which lead to some sort of small victory for the team in the end. at least we aren't total failures, i guess, keith would think to himself.

not that they'd expected things to go their way. they knew that by now.

..

end.

[gamebunny-advance]

"Get encased, idiot."

[federaliszt]

food in hurt/comfort

underrated part of whump for me is when someone cooks a favorite home cooked meal for whumpee. obviously there's a lot of sheer comfort from the meal itself, but there's also the thoughtfulness of the caretaker or caretakers, the preparation and effort that went into it, the pure love and care that is almost as palpable as the scent of the food cooking in the air.

if you want to dial up the tension, then you can give whumpee a reason why they can't eat it, and then add to the burden by making it impossible for them to express why they can't eat it. maybe their stomach is in knots from an illness or an injury they're trying to hide. maybe they're badly hungover but they don't want anyone to know. maybe they've just experienced dire food scarcity, and it's messing with their thoughts about whether they deserve to eat it or not. maybe they've got an eating disorder. maybe the last time they ate this particular dish was right before a big fight they had with a partner or a loved one, a fight they still feel ashamed about how they behaved in, and so even the scent reminds them of the bad unresolved feelings still gnawing at them under the surface. maybe they're grieving a sudden loss and even nibbling at any kind of food makes them feel sick to their stomach

whumpee experiencing those twin desires to eat to their heart's content and accept the love they're being offered while simultaneously needing to protect their deepest secrets and act unaffected or indifferent = 💯

[nessa-rpgs]

Back again with a big project !

Here's a before/after of Lycia Darkvale, another one of my WoW RP characters. She's been through a lot and it shows.

[crossbackpoke-check]

Substance, Shadow, and Spirit [remixed, abridged] by Tao Yuanming

[novemberthewriter]

excerpt time

sharing writing for the first time in god knows how long

&&&

When the Journey of Life brings Mr. Mac to your and Z’s home a decade later—when he’s at your dinner nook loose with drink—when you ask him, frank and in front of Z, if he really wanted you and her way back then—

Mac fixes you with grey eyes, licks scotch from his lips, and says things that send fire up your spine.

-

It took a great deal of strength to keep things professional, he tells you both some time later in bed.

That silly fake-deep mask on, you say, breathy, remembering so many conversations and detentions and private tutoring sessions he hosted just for you (his worst student; the bad boy with a diploma in Self-Interest) and Z (his best student; your genius girlfriend; a bona-fide good girl whose only crimes were being Black in a white school and wanting Mac just as much as you did), when all you were was a pervert who wanted inside our young teen minds and bodies.

He goes rigid between the two of you; you ignore him and crane your neck to say to an out-cold Z on his other side, I can’t believe you’re sleeping through this—

Is it so hard to believe I could fall in love?

There's love, and there's power. You're shivering with it. It’s hard to believe you, as a history teacher, could’ve forgotten all the consequences of something like this.