#i probably shouldn't but im testing things out

[henryscircus]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SKETCHBOOK RAHHH

TW: ME A T. LOL

13 years is crazy, I remember this shit traumatizing me back then now look at me.

[skrunksthatwunk]

damnnn that manga about making manga got me acting funny (making 5 year plans)

[formulatrash]

from following you on twitter im absolutely certain you have (far more informed than mine) thoughts on whatever the fuck williams is doing. very interested in hearing them, if you’d care to share?

so like, from the off: I have always been a Logan Sargeant defender. people who didn't follow his junior career just saw an American, assumed he was a pay driver and didn't check any further. the guy had a better karting career than Oscar, was competitive with him the whole time they were in the same series - they were the George and Alex of their day.

sometimes those drivers fall off. Jack Aitken was, in fact, George's main rival up to F2 and then got mechachromed (or technically hewlanded) out of the running for more than a guest spot. but Logan didn't - he just ran out of money. that year in a Charouz (a backmarking F3 team struggling to score points) was when he really proved himself, especially on being solid at development and leading a team.

that was what convinced Carlin (at the time, not putting in the best showing in F2) he was worth it. and his time at Carlin was what convinced Williams. not money. Logan never had sponsors pulling the strings for him. he knew he might well not get to F1 so had already started experimenting with prototype racing, which he was good in. man was being pragmatic about how to have a career in Europe if things didn't all shake out right.

but they did (sort of) and he got the Williams seat. he was probably one of the least-prepared drivers for quite a long time, with close to zero F1 testing prior to, err, F1 preseason testing. the Williams driver academy, at the time he was in it, amounted to pretty much a gym membership. a pass for the factory canteen and some branded sweaters to wear rather than some structured programme and he'd only had one year in F2.

we know the Williams is not like, the best car. the team has had Some Issues and despite the investment from Dorilton, is still rebuilding pretty heavily. I mean remember it was (in 2023) five seasons previous that they turned up to testing like whoops, no car. our bad.

then in 2022 they had Jost Capito and FX Demaison living in a weird student flatshare while they tried to work out what the hell was going on in the team, only to both leave prior to 2023. at which point James Vowles turns up and goes my god you're running this whole team via a spreadsheet. truly, we (a team whose history includes the owner's wife, who was actually the owner, locking up the factory and telling the bailiffs to fuck off every other week for years) were so fucking back.

(if you want to read a really, really, really good book about F1 then Williams: A different kind of life is exceptional)

so yeah it's a bit of a Charouz of a seat but then Logan's flourished in that circumstance before. except you're going up against a guy whose only second-fiddle circumstance was against Max fucking Verstappen. you're an underprepared rookie and you're against someone who did at times hold his own against Max Verstappen, even as an underprepared rookie himself and he's been in the team for a year already, leading all the direction and development. fucking yikes. that's not a low-pressure seat where you're both just hoping things might work out.

saying all that because: I think Logan was given an incredibly tough gig. that doesn't mean he shouldn't or couldn't have risen to it. but that Williams seat wasn't an easy ride in his first year, where he showed he could improve when he gained momentum and confidence, something that's massively important. when things turn against you and keep turning against you, it's incredibly hard to reverse that in motorsport - just look at Daniel Ricciardo at McLaren.

and yes I know there's a lot of mad conspiracy theories that for some reason the team would want to lose points in the constructors' for the express reason of humiliating a driver they were paying an obscene amount but please let's be realistic: McL really badly wanted that one to work out. and Williams seemed to, too, in Logan's first year. they weren't babying him and he had clear targets and goals but there was a desire to see that work out for both of them.

this year that, uh. hasn't seemed to be there. I know, I absolutely know, why James Vowles felt taking Logan's car and giving it to Alex in Australia was the right thing to do. Alex had scored a point there the previous year, although it's historically not been a great track for him. that point could be the difference between 9th and 10th in the constructors - millions of dollars.

but if you want to absolutely implode your driver's brain and publicly announce you have no confidence in him then that's certainly a good way to go about it. and the thing is Australia is one race whereas Logan was supposed to be in that car for the rest of the season.

it's hard to underestimate just how much F1 teams are swayed by the media. Nyck de Vries is an incredible recent example: yes, he scored points in that Williams weekend but in the same year he was driving like absolute shit in Formula E. probably because he was so focussed on F1 but any FE journalist could have told you the guy was not, in fact, the second coming of Senna - extremely likeable, weird, idiosyncratic and actually fun to watch but far from performing at his own best let alone anyone else's.

so when he was hyped to high heaven as about to wipe the floor with Yuki there was widespread eyebrow-raising from a paddock no one in F1 cares to look at. but teams bought into it, fought over him. in a matter of races the media turned on him, shredded him and Red Bull shrugged, said they never liked him in the first place and binned him off after, realistically, exactly the performances you could have expected him to put in.

the media has never been very kind to Logan. he is a little shy, he is quite softly spoken, he doesn't go for bragadaccio and he's not particularly goofy. he doesn't insist on pointing out he's there on merit. he's quite careful with what he says, guarded. he does not like things to get weird and with the motorsport media, things so often do.

trepidation about his F2 record from people who barely tune into the races being broadcast in the media centre they're in raised questions before he was in F1. Williams' re-signing of him was deemed a bit controversial, perhaps proof the team was soft. yeeting him from his car was proof they were hard enough, in fact, that rending confidence from your driver like flesh torn off a bone is somehow a useful function of the sport, from people who a mildly critical comment would send into a 5-day spiral.

(I would know)

Logan has not performed poorly this year. he hasn't performed as well as Alex but Alex has been throwing together Lando-grade drives, as you'd probably expect given the pair of them have (close to) equal experience in F1 or at least the same number of years chewing through the gristle of it.

(why am I using so many visceral meat metaphors? perhaps 3am is not the time to write anything)

all things considered, the fact that Logan did not dissolve into a puddle of goo after Australia is commendable. he has also outqualified a fucking Red Bull multiple times. he has crashed a bit, yes, because that's what driving on the edge with an air of desperation starts to look like - when Charles did it (really a lot more) in 2020 no one thought it was because he had run out of talent.

Logan has not been driving the same car as Alex. Alex himself has confirmed this. that's, uhm, fucking dire if you're trying to fix things in the simulator because that will be correlated to the upgraded car, which is what the team is interested in. even if they load yours back in, the correlation will be steadily migrating away and they won't be too interested in what it's telling them because it's the old car.

to say that Williams lost interest in Logan early this season would be an understatement. they spent a huge amount of effort and got back a bunch of world champions to film an hour-long feature with Logan's sponsor and him. it got mentioned, like, twice? because it came out the same week Alex got re-signed.

I'm not saying re-signing Alex Albon isn't exciting. hell, I'd be very excited. but that was probably the moment I knew this was going to get horrendously messy.

James Vowles is a charming man who has lots of likeable qualities. he is first and foremost an engineer and looks for engineering solutions, something he was very able to translate to strategy. he is, however, not used to being a figurehead for an organisation.

do I think the public way JV conducted the search for Logan's replacement was fair on the team, any of the drivers involved or, especially, Logan? absolutely fucking not. made all of them look like they were taking turns in a fake taxi that instead turning into a sexy thing was a clown car with JV dressed as the Joker.

I don't honestly know how Logan kept turning up and driving through that. it's one thing to believe you can do something, anything, to prove yourself and another to know you just: can't. there's nothing left you can do. there are no other seats on the grid. time to start talking to teams in other series except if you do that someone will hear about it and then you'll be even more undermined.

I think that, when he looks back, James will realise he fucked this very badly. he obviously wants to do what's best for the team and is overruling quite a lot of sensible interpersonal stuff to do that and particularly how he should act with the media which, again, not something he's had such exposure to despite his long F1 career.

Logan Sargeant has, like his car last weekend, burned in a pyrrhic symbol of what Williams want to exorcise from their team. they want to stop losing.

but like James was saying at the start of the season, before the rush of chasing new drivers caught him up, the main problem is they need to fix the car. Franco Colapinto will not do that. he is a perfectly good stopgap replacement for someone who, yes, has probably now reached a mindset where it is perhaps kinder to not expect him to drive an F1 car.

but it will probably be more telling when Carlos Sainz Jnr is also just a driver, unless the team pulls miracles over the winter.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

hi, i'm fourteen and i have this friend who asked me if i wanted to try eating her out. not a girlfriend, a friend. i don't have any feelings for her but i do think she's gorgeous and she's probably the best friend i have and the most mature 14 year old i know. i trust her a lot. im definitely not opposed to trying to give her head, either. i'm just worried it might be a bad idea, and i'm anxious that i won't do it right and she won't even feel good. i definitely don't want to have sex this early but does giving someone else head even count as real sex? she wouldn't really be touching me at all, except for she did say she'd want us to make out before i did it, though i'm not entirely sure why, but i am okay with it. i'm also worried about, like, STDs, because i've never been with another person like... sexually, i've kissed other people but i haven't in a while. but i think she might have done stuff with people? i don't know how recently. like... i don't know, do you think this is a really bad idea and we're too young or is this fine? how do you even eat someone out, like, what do you do? sorry if this is annoying i just really need an adult to ask about this and it's not like i can ask my parents since i'm not really supposed to do this.

hi anon,

thank you for asking! I'm really grateful to be an adult that you trust enough to talk with about stuff like this. it's not annoying, and I'll do the best I can to give a helpful answer based on everything you've told me.

I think maybe, in your case, this might not be a great idea right now. it sounds like there's a lot about this situation that makes you nervous in a way that's not fun - the kind of nerves that come from being excited to connect with a new person are one thing, but I'm hearing much more anxiety than excitement in the way you're talking about this.

oral sex (using your mouth) definitely counts as real sex - it's definitely not just putting a penis in a vagina! - and can be just as intimate and emotionally complicated as any other kind of sexual expression. you said you don't want to be having sex at your age - which is totally normal, and completely your choice to make! - and that includes oral sex as well, so maybe it's best if you sit this one out for the time being.

I want to be super clear that I'm not saying this out of any sense that no people your age should be sexual; I think wanted sexual exploration between young teens can be a great way to start exploring sexuality and finding what feels good! but that doesn't mean that every teenager has to be having sex, or that they're immature if they don't. people are ready to explore sex at lots of different ages (and some people never do at all), and none of them are weird or wrong. you could feel totally different in ten years, one year, a month, or even a week, but right now you don't feel ready, and what you feel right now is what's most important.

holding off until you've had time to learn more about sex may also help, because every situation is less scary when you feel more prepared. (it's why they make you spend so many godforsaken hours practicing driving before you can take the test to get your license.) in the spirit of learning, I want to share some resources about some of the things you had questions/concerns about.

this page on Planned Parenthood's website talks about lots of different kinds of sexually transmitted infections (STIs, also frequently called sexually transmitted diseases, or STDs), including how they're spread and how to treat them. I don't want to make STIs sound scary - I recently wrote a whole post about how they really shouldn't be! - but because it is important to know what risks there are if you plan to be sexually active so that you can do your best to minimize those risks, and what to do if someone does catch an STI. an important thing to remember is that, at your age, it might be difficult for you or your friend to get tested for STIs without help from your parents, which may be awkward and unpleasant or totally impossible if you're unable to tell them why you need a test in the first place. that's an important factor in deciding whether or not to have sex!

additionally, here's some info about dental dams, which are basically condoms for oral sex - they're a flat piece of latex, like a condom that got rolled out, that goes between the mouth and the hole.

and to help with your question about how going down even works, I recommend this video by sexologist Dr. Lindsey Doe. you won't be seeing any real genitals in this video, although there is a drawing and some nude Barbies, and you'll probably want to listen with headphones unless you're alone. there are also links to more of Dr. Doe's videos on the topic.

and lastly, for more thinking about this topic, I want to direct you to Scarleteen's answer to help figure out when you're ready to start having sex, which is very good on its own and has links to some other good reading on the topic. Scarleteen is a great resource specifically designed and run to help answer teenagers' questions about sex without judgment, and I recommend them very heavily.

I hope that this has been useful, and helps you feel empowered to make whatever decision is best for you.

[baby-tini]

i present my idea ✨knife kink dabi✨

TW: knife play, toxic relationship, Dabi hits her once, blood, threats, licking of said blood.

It was a weird request at first, he'll admit that. Then again, he's asked worst from you. His handprint branded into your ass proves so. While he does give you a little side-eye, he's absolutely not opposed to holding a sharp little thing to your throat while plead for him to not press down so hard. His pretty little princess wants him to hold a knife to their throat? Say less.

"Which one you wanna use, angel- actually, I probably shouldn't call you an angel anymore, huh? I think masochistic slut fits better, yeah?" Your lips form into a little pout, eyebrows furrowing as you pull on his coat. He chuckles at that, fingers fisting in your hair to pull your head back. His right thumb gliding over your little pout, index tapping your lips and slipping in to press down on your tongue. Sticky drool running down his hand as he finger fucks your mouth. Slipping his wet digit out to gloss your lips with your own spit.

"Why are you so mean Dabi," he scoffs at that. With a flick of his wrist, you're left with a stinging cheek and your head looking to the right. There's an immediate cry that's rips itself out of your throat, feet stumbling back. Quickly snatching your arm before you could fall, he brings you over to the set of knives he has laid out for you. "I won't ask again, either choose one or I will, and trust me... you won't like my choice. I promise you that."

With a meek nod, you glance at the assortment of switch blades, there's pretty black one with blue flames on it that you're positive Dabi would've chosen. But your mind's already made when you see a black steel-blade with rubies embedded into the handle. Pretty vermillion glare at you from its place on the counter. You slide your thumb over it at first, finger playing with the pretty gems. Picking it up to test the weight, you glide your palm over the blade. Sharp. So very sharp, Dabi could kill, given he presses deep enough.

"That one? The blue one is so much prettier," he finishes with a scoff as he pouts. You ignore his comment, nodding your head, you hand it over to him. Taking it from you, he gestures to the bedroom, twirling the deadly blade around his fingers as he stares you down. Glancing at him in uncertainty, you walk past him towards the room.

The room is warm, remnants of Dabis heat still trapped in the comforter, smells like him too, strongly of ash and cigarette smoke. It makes your brain foggy, he always smells so good, his musk is a comforting scent. There's the harsh sound of combat boots walking towards you, eyes snapping to the door, in a first-hand witness to his taunting eyes.

"You look shy doll, I couldn't possibly understand why, you came to me with this request, 'member?" You give a nod, inhaling a shaky breath as you lie on your back. He coos at you in faux sympathy, stepping closer and closer, like a lion, hunting, prowling.. but Dabi isn't one to lie and wait for very long. Especially when you look so innocent, like a helpless fawn who isn't yet aware of dangers like him. You're basically teasing him at this point, eyes too wide for to not think about fucking you, destroying you 'till there's nothing left.

You blink for a second, only for a second. It's quick, no- he's quick. The blade feels cold against your throat, sharp tip pressing a little too deep into your jugular for comfort. The smooth metal running down your throat to your tits, smoothing it over your nipples, perked for attention for the sharp tip. Your skin lifting in goosebumps, hair standing at the back of your neck when he twirls it around your left nipple.

"...I wonder, what do you think would happen if I just-" he presses the blade down harder in-between your breasts, "- ah, well.. would you look at that, hm? You're just as pretty inside as you are on the outside, oh how lucky I am." It doesn't hurt, just stings a little. The sticky scarlet immediately staining your clothes, dripping down your chest in little rain-drops. He eyes the wound for a minute before leaning down and licking it off your tits.

He hums, pulling back to look you in the eyes, "better then I thought, but not nearly as good as that little cunt I love so much." There's blood staining his teeth- your blood at that. The tip of his tongue licking away the remainder on your chest as he moves the tip of the handle of the blade to press into your clit.

There's an immediate jump-back, hand shooting down to grab onto his own, and he doesn't like that. Not even a little. "What? You got a problem with this but not when I'm lickin' blood off your tits? Some priorities you got, huh?" He swats away your hand as he presses the handle back into your clit, sliding it down over your underwear to press into your slit.

"I'm gonna fuck you with this blade, you know? See if it makes you cum quicker then my cock." You want to close your legs but he swats at them before you can even think to do so. "Try an' close 'em, and your chest won't be the only thing leaking pretty red for me." Your eyes twitch close when you feel the solid press into you, fucking you through your panties.

"Ahh, there we go, got that pussy leaking real pretty for me now, huh slut? You like this shit? 'Course you do, you're my bitch after all, ain't that right?"

[theamityelf]

what do you think of aus where makoto goes through the Kamukura Project instead of hajime? i've seen a few around, but im curious about your take on the concept

Ooh, that's a good question!

For my own headcanons, I imagine, in his early days of consciousness as Izuru Kamukura (or Izuru Kamukura Iteration 2, if the Hajime version still exists in this timeline), he isn't aware of himself as a person pretty much at all. Even when the scientists talk to him, he isn't really aware that he's a person who is alive. He's really focused on them and understanding what they're saying and doing and why, but the fact that he doesn't process himself as a participant or agent in anything that happens to him means he's more witnessing the scene from a perspective of "I understand. This is a laboratory, and they're experimenting on a test subject. I wonder if their work will ever be done. They don't look happy. How do I know that? Because they hold tension in their faces. Because of the diameter of their pupils. They looked happier when they walked in than they are now. Why is that?"

(In contrast, I believe Hajime Izuru's analysis of the situation always included himself. I imagine, around this point in the Project, he saw things more like, "When *this stimulus* happens, it results in them doing *this thing* that hurts me. I have a vested interest in preventing this outcome." Makoto still experiences pain, but since he doesn't consider himself a person with agency, he just takes it as a thing that sometimes happens.)

It isn't until he's placed in a room with a two-way mirror that he sees things differently. (Similar to a thing I said about Izuru in Panel, but a little different.) He's looking at his reflection while the scientists run tests on him, and he's thinking, There are five people in this room. I only see four, until I look in the mirror. Right. The fifth one...That's the test subject. The one they're always talking to. He's bleeding. He shouldn't be; it looks like they made a mistake. Probably related to the visible signs of sleep deprivation in Dr. Sano. They shouldn't be handling the injury that way. That's not the way a normal medical practitioner treats a patient. Ow. They're very accomplished physicians; they know better than to treat someone this way and allow them to feel unnecessary pain. Ow.

And then he watches a drop of blood run down the middle of the test subject's face at the same time that he feels it happening, and it fully registers: That's right. I'm the test subject. The surreal feeling of realizing he's Someone dazes him for a second. If he's Someone, it's possible he can move. He can...talk?

"Dr. Sano?" he says, startling everyone in the room. "You usually use the polydioxanone sutures for lacerations like this. What made you choose the non-absorbable polypropylene this time? If it's related to your conversation with Dr. Fujita at your last shift, I don't find it likely that he actually felt that strongly about your work. He murmurs to himself about his family a lot; I think his frustrations about his son's grades fed into a mild complaint he had toward you."

The scientists all look at each other, because this test subject has been anomalously unresponsive, and suddenly he throws out not only a full sentence but an extremely comprehensive take on everything that's happening and everything that has happened.

They call in a bunch of other doctors to just assail him with questions, but while it's exciting that he's become responsive, they soon determine that it's easier to get a direct answer to a direct question out of him when there's fewer people to draw his attention. He doesn't treat them hierarchically, like he should. If the head doctor, in an otherwise silent room packed with lesser doctors, asks Makoto something, he might choose to ask one of the lesser doctors where his usual pocket protector is, or observe aloud that someone smells like watermelon.

Like the first Izuru Kamukura, this one is unemotional and largely unmotivated. Unlike the first Izuru Kamukura, this one doesn't resign himself to the tedium of life or live in pursuit of an end to that tedium. He just kind of lives vicariously through those who care. His thought about any given thing is, This is completely uninteresting to me, but it must matter, because someone cares about it.

(Possible scenario: "Makoto, kill that guy!"

"Okay." (starts strangling) (stops strangling) "Never mind. I think he doesn't want me to kill him."

"I know, but do it anyway."

"Why? He doesn't want me to.")

I can't stress enough how much he can't be motivated by pain or harm to himself. Unless someone else expresses that they don't want him to be hurt, it doesn't occur to him to make avoiding that a priority.

[c0zy-fluff]

Guys idk why I just thought of an angsty hc for Bubba, buuuuut here we go (im so sorry):

Y'know when some ppl sit and they're huddling their knees to their chest?

I feel like when Bubba's stressed out and/or upset abt smth, he'd go into the huddled position and then he'd hold his ears over his face with his hooves, in an attempt to prevent anyone from seeing him in the state he's in. Another thing, although im not sure how lengthy his tail is, he'd probably try to hug himself with his tail in an attempt to somewhat comfort himself. (I'm not the best with descriptions, but y'all probably get the idea)

StarStudent bonus scenario (i actually did NOT expect to write this much):

Kickin would see that Bubba is stressed/upset and kneel down to his level and attempt to reach his wing/hand out to Bubba, as if he's thinking on how they want to comfort Bubba. He'd ask Bubba what's the matter, but Bubba would slightly shuffle away as a message saying 'don't look at me please' b/c Bubba would expect himself to be better than crying over smth 'stupid'. (like a bad grade on test/quiz, things not exactly going the way he expected, literal a n x i e t y, etc.) Seeing Bubba upset like this, Kickin would be concerned, yet patient on if Bubba wants to talk yet or not.

When Bubba does start to talk, he peeks out from his ears and questions Kickin if he's even good enough to still be the 'calm and collected smart one'. Realizing what Bubba had said, Kickin tries to intervene, but Bubba immediately hides his face underneath his ears again and tells them to nevermind what he just said and that it's 'stupid'. (Yes, I got inspired by Episode 4 of Murder Drones to write this part, leave me alone-)

Kickin, as soft and gentle as he can, tries to get Bubba's ears off his face and tells him that it's alright to fail at things and that he shouldn't let even one small mistake overcome his emotions. Bubba, still looking as miserable as ever from his mini panic attack, slightly looks back at Kickin for reassurance from beneath his ears and then starts to take a few deep breaths.

Bubba smiles at Kickin, finally relieved of his mini breakdown and feeling reassured enough, and thanks them for helping him get through that. Kickin returns that smile, gets back on his feet to offer Bubba a hand, and then offers him if he wants to watch a few horror movies w/ him and see if they're any good. Bubba agrees and then they just snuggle and watch some good ol' horror movies for the rest of the night. (This ending part was honestly inspired by @skelexguts :3)

[featureenvyproductions]

happy new year time for me to bother you with a TRAILER for my short animated film about a mars mission 🎉

surprise I have cobbled together shots I have done from my [traditional] animation I'm working on along with a TEST recording (which is why it sounds like it's being recorded in a toilet that is also a cathedral) of some of the music clips. I tried to edit it like a Real TM Trailer but the pacing is a little weird bc it's a silent film sorry

OK LOTTA BACKGROUND INFO UNDER THE CUT

So if you haven't seen my other posts, I sort of have this thing for doing projects I know damn well shouldn't be done by Just Me however if there's 3 things I enjoy it's exacerbating my wrist problems, traditional animation, and social isolation so last year to get my mind of the trash fire of an election season I bought a bunch of cels and paint and started working on this short film. It's gonna be maybe 10-15 minutes when done and, aside from a handful of tweaks*, it is all traditional 2d animation - hand drawn AND painted (which is why the frame rate makes even the recycled clips in 80s he-man cringe) .

Anyway if you didn't gather from the intertitles, this [a FICTIONAL STORY WHERE EVERYONE IS FICTIONAL PLEASE NO ONE SUE ME] is about the US and Russia collaborating on a mission to Mars where they're gonna send some folks up there to hang out and do research indefinitely until another mission happens. While the crew - comprised of an astronaut Adam and a cosmonaut Yuri - is in transit, war breaks out between the US and Russia back on earth, snapping the ever tightening rubberband of willing cooperation between the countries. Everything goes to hell, and in this case it also threatens to compromise the mission, meaning an uncertain future for the crew, who have to choose between loyalty to the death cult of blind nationalism, or loyalty to science and each other.

I am aiming to finish this in 2025...The story has been in the works for a while, but I only recently felt like "huh I kinda wanna animate this"

Im sorry the music is so....Like That lol. I wanted to get this done today before I go back to work and like I don't think anyone who follows me really minds if it's not perfect rn. See I only have a keyboard at the moment and I was trying to do an aux cable from it to my laptop to keep from recording the UNMANAGEABLE CLOMPCLOMPCLOMPITYCLOMPPP of the keys but it just made the sound toilety uhg oh well. Anyway I am writing some original stuff for the eventual whole film, but for this trailer I arranged some snippets of Tchaikovsky's sleeping beauty for piano (the score is in the public domain fyi...My arrangement is my own...). I've got some other bits of that in the works as well which will also show up in the full film.

Oh another thing is, most of the technical stuff should be fairly grounded in science (maybe aside from some Artistic License Engineering for story/ease of animation reasons, but....). So there's that. I don't think it makes much of a difference for the trailer but IM TELLING YOU BECAUSE I DID SIT THERE AND PAINSTAKINGLY RUN A FUCKING ORBIT PROPAGATION ALGORITHM TO BALLPARK WHERE THE SHIP SHOULD BE AT CERTAIN POINTS IN THE NARRATIVE AND YOU WILL KNOW I SUFFERED. FOR YOU, THE AUDIENCE.

*full disclosure by tweaks I mean stuff it's barely noticeable to you but impractical for me bc cels are REALLY expensive, so stuff like blinking and mouth movements I drew in photoshop because that's probably 100s of mouth-or-eye cels I can't really afford to waste, and you can only scratch paint off and reuse a cel so many times before it looks like crap. Some of the panning I also did by scanning the hand drawn cels and then changing the subject position in photoshop for each frame because I'm compositing frames essentially by sticking them face down in a stack on my scanner bed and haven't found a good way to do it yet. I've attempted to built a little track before but can't get it flat enough for the cover to make contact with the frames and smash them into the glass. If you have a solution for this, let me know.

anyway the target audience of this is people who liked Apollo 13 but wished it was worse quality and was more gay and anarchist so if you are vaguely that please enjoy and follow for updates on this costly and questionable venture

[hazbinsponsoredbyvee]

So Vox- Since it appears poison doesn't affect you I think it'd be safe to say that the love potion/valentino's venom shouldn't either- Now! Just to be sure I think we still could test that theory out! I'll cross Alastor off since okay I don't wanna torture him an all okay fine I get it. You both are probably like the same power level so of you're immune to poison and possibly the love potion he's too! tho the poison part is something to test out... Either way! Honestly? I think you can handle it! Like c'mon- I get it's a drug an all but you're immune to poison! And you've had it in your system a lot I'm guessing so it's not like it'd be anything you wouldn't be familiar with! since you know you were with val and all-Now I'm not saying I'd inject it into you- No I would NEVER- heh-But I think we could test the theory out.... for the sake of science-! (I wonder how other characters like Charlie who are also very powerful'd react to it....(not like I'd ever try it out on Charlie Im not THAT crazy(genuinely)))

/does slip a bunch of love potion into Vox's coffee in the middle of talking while said man is not looking ABSOLUTELY PRAYING the yapping session is enough of a distraction/

"Okay, first of all, Valentino's venom is not the same thing as Love Potion. It's just one ingredient in the thing. On its own, Val's venom will make you horny and suggestable, but it's way milder than the drug Velvette makes, which will damn near drive you insane if you don't have someone to help you out. I would no longer be able to control myself, and I'm not putting myself in a position where I won't listen to Alastor say no. So, don't you fucking dare try to slip me that shit, and you'd better not even think about trying anything like that on Charlie."

[aspd-culture]

hey, so i recently did some research and took the mmpi and a few other tests that i knew were well regarded as diagnostic tools by professionals, as well as self reflection and matching myself with criteria. (all tests found free probably illegally online via links on reddit cause i dont got that kind of money) and it appears that i have aspd.

I consider myself a good person, i try to always be good to everyone which is a lot of effort because it’s something i dont do naturally, and imo that makes me better than a “normal person” but i digress

finding this out, while relieving in the way that it explained a lot of stuff, has also made me feel more alienated. i cant tell anyone im close to because theyll just hear “sociopath” and think i dont care about them or ive been manipulating them this whole and leave, and i wont be able to find new people because im bad at connecting with others so ill be alone. and no one online with aspd seems to have my experiences (also a lot of the online spaces are filled with pwBPD and pwNPD using our tag lmao and i dont relate to them either obviously) so i feel alien here too.

I dunno, finding this out was helpful in some ways but in others i just feel worse.

I guess it’s a net good now that i know that my way of thinking and going through life doesnt make me a bad or manipulative person its just how i naturally think bc of my disorder, and as long as im choosing to be good to people it shouldn’t matter. i just wish it wasnt so stigmatized to have, and i wish people would realize that i am capable of being a good person just as much as they are, i just have my own way of doing it.

I actually dont get why having it Come Naturally is such a good thing anyway, isnt it more meaningful if someone isnt “good by nature” but actively chooses to be anyway? I think it means less and is less reliable if someone is good by nature because then it means that they don’t actually know how or why theyre doing it, and if they have a moment of fluctuations in their empathy then they could be worse than any of us disordered folk who had to learn they why and how of this stuff.

lmfao ok uh sorry for having a character arc in your ask box you can delete if you want idc

No, no worries! I'm sorry it took me this long to get to honestly because yeah I agree with this - it is in my opinion objectively better to do good things by choice, even when it's hard for us. And, in fact, the NTs feel that way too but they don't like that it applies to us.

It's a whole cliche people like to throw around, that it isn't easy to be a good person and that the only truly good people are the ones that doing it when it's hard too - that the easiest thing isn't always the right thing, all of that. They just don't like that those things apply to us too and therefore we are very much their definition of good people.

The world has so much stigma against us, and I'm sorry you're struggling with it, that any and all of you are. We shouldn't be treated this way as a result of us being mistreated as kids. It's not our fault, but we're labeled and demonized anyway. And it sucks, and even though it says everything about them and nothing about us, people believe them bc they're so used to thinking we're the scary ones so we must be wrong.

That seems to be slowly changing, and I hope I (and you) are around to see when it does.

Plain text below the cut:

No, no worries! I'm sorry it took me this long to get to honestly because yeah I agree with this - it is in my opinion objectively better to do good things by choice, even when it's hard for us. And, in fact, the NTs feel that way too but they don't like that it applies to us.

It's a whole cliche people like to throw around, that it isn't easy to be a good person and that the only truly good people are the ones that doing it when it's hard too - that the easiest thing isn't always the right thing, all of that. They just don't like that those things apply to us too and therefore we are very much their definition of good people.

The world has so much stigma against us, and I'm sorry you're struggling with it, that any and all of you are. We shouldn't be treated this way as a result of us being mistreated as kids. It's not our fault, but we're labeled and demonized anyway. And it sucks, and even though it says everything about them and nothing about us, people believe them bc they're so used to thinking we're the scary ones so we must be wrong.

That seems to be slowly changing, and I hope I (and you) are around to see when it does.

[atla-what-is-this-site]

Things that we should teach children:

Its okay not to be cishet, Here are some umbrella labels in case you think you may not be (genderfluid, NB, bisexual, trans, lesbian/gay, ace/aro [probably, depending on age, soften the explanation of this, obviously a five year old shouldn't know about sexual attraction])

math

you are a wonderful little being who has been given the gift of life. you get to decide how to spend it.

how to identify bias in a reading selection

Cultures other than white exist. Maybe talk about said culture's practices. You can celebrate your culture with people from other cultures if you want, its all cool and fun

your body type doesn't define you

yeah everybody's brain works slightly differently, Amara there has a special condition called adhd so she might have more energy and a shorter attention span, don't be mean to her

disabled people are still of value, Mario over there in a wheelchair might not be able to walk, but he WILL win the spelling bee

morals

What we should not teach children

people will invade your privacy constantly (phone/room searches) (actually just in general actually don't be a controlling asshole to teens)

immigrants almost definitely mean harm (drug cartels, arab hate, just in general being mean to immigrants)

unless you can acchieve over a 90% correct score on a test you're fucking stupid (school)

the truth is whatever the adults around you believe ("i am ALWAYS RIGHT" "TRY TO PROVE ME WRONG" "I AM YOUR PARENT, I DO WHATS BEST FOR YOU")

women are ✨🍑💞frilly and incapapble💞🍑✨ like little delicate fairies 🧚‍♀️ and men are 💪💪🔥🔥🦵🦵manly strongmen💪💪🔥🔥🦵🦵who don't have feelings (stop please, im begging you, STOP)

all common neurodivergent symptoms are actually moral failings (untidyness, fidgetiness, issues socializing, tardiness, the tendency to space out, etc)

all people should grow up, get a normal office job and 2.5 children

hate your parents [except for abusive ones, they are doing their best]

[starfruitgirlie]

guide for highschool to not suck

HEY GAMERS! I catch myself a lot looking at people younger than be and being annoyed or thinking "wow I know so much more than you" but when I was the age they were at I desperately wanted to be older and I wanted to know what I was doing and I sucked at life. Im 17 so I can only give life advice up to that point. I was absolute garbo at age 13-15. I was cringe, fowl, thought I knew everything, was experimenting with my identity and style, had acne, had access to the internet when I probably shouldn't have, the works. Instead of looking down on a reflection of myself I want to give advice on how to make things a bit better. Unfortunately, you can't avoid being cringe. However I was mentally ill and had adhd, and there are things you can do to make those things less sucky. (disclaimer I am not a professional and you should always reach out to a trusted adult or a therapist for help and not the internet!)

So highschool sucks it's awful it's absolute doodoo. I changed school districts so I went into my freshman year not knowing ANYBODY. I was also a cringe gender non-conforming queer kid with a bad haircut and bad fashion sense so I know what it's like to be picked on. so this is for anybody already in highschool or going into it or just wants to know what to prepare for.

I can't sugarcoat it highschool is so bad. It's not all bad, you can have nice experiences but ultimately it sucks because when your entire social atmosphere is insecure teenagers everything sucks. I just completed my junior year and I feel like I have made a lot of realizations just in that year alone. I'm not a senior yet so I'm just dipping my toe into college prep stuff so I am no where qualified for that so if that's what you want go somewhere else and if you get good advice tell me I need it. so this is starfruit's guide on how to NOT SUCK HIGHSCHOOL! (from someone with no friends and is lazy)

no one is looking at you as much as you think they are. I don't mean this as a "you're full of yourself" statement, it's an anxiety thing I still deal with. Embarrassing incidents are going to happen unfortunately. You forget deodorant, you have your period, you trip in the hallway, your pants rip, all the sucky stuff. There are going to be some assholes who laugh and make you feel bad but most people are going to understand. everyone knows what it is like to feel embarrassed and it won't be a disney-channel bully type scene if you mess up. even though social media doesn't show it, people make embarrassing mistakes and have accidents. It took some time, but I had to learn to laugh at myself and not take myself as as seriously. I don't spend my whole day hyperfocusing on other people or going out of my way to laugh at someone. It can be tough especially if you're as shy as I am but there will always be kind people who will offer help in situations like that. As you grow things will be less embarrassing. i am not at the point where that feeling is completely gone but I yearn for the day.

I was in my first AP class this year and at first I was super super self-conscious. I am a good student, but the people in that class made me feel stupid sometimes. They all took like 6 ap classes when that was my first one. reality check!! it doesn't matter. your future employer isn't going to go "So did you take 6 ap classes at once and get 5s on all of them?". highschool doesn't matter as much as you feel like it does. don't get me wrong, still try but be kinder to yourself. Don't compare your grades to somebody else's. A big part of this too is not asking people for what they got on a test even if you think they got lower. It's not done out of malicious intent, but I know for a fact a lot of good students ask other people for their scores to feel better about their own when someone answers a lower grade. When people ask I say "I don't tell people my grades, it's just a personal thing I guess" and people will move on. A big thing for juniors is the ACT. the day those scores came out it was awful. I had to delete instagram for a week when someone I knew posted their super-good score just to brag. everyone was asking what I got and everyone was comparing scores. "Oh I got a 34" and when somebody said "28" I heard "that's not that bad!". that is a phrase I hate. "it's not that bad!" SHUT UP!!! You can avoid this by not telling anyone your scores. the only people who know my act score are me, my therapist, and my parents. and I intend to keep it that way forever. I'm grateful that a lot of aspects of school come easy to me but this is applicable for students at any level. my grades don't make me any better of a person. What is important is to try your best and only compare yourself to yourself. if a C is your best effort, that's good! You tried and you put in hard work. school is not a true judgment of how smart you are what matters is you are trying and learning.

don't be on snapchat. my school used it for a long time to spread nudes and take pictures of alt people and make fun of them. and to also send threats. "what's yo snap" is not flirting. it makes me want to hit you with a metal bar. I can't really explain all that much but I just hate snap chat and I will never use it.

don't spread information you aren't sure is true. big and small highschools both can start rumors that get out of control. a kid who I never knew was talked about so much and the rumors kept spiraling I have no idea what is or isn't true. it's also just not that fun to talk about?? I mean there is a certain enjoyment in gossip but if you're just making fun of someone behind their back it's not cool and even if you're laughing in the moment that's not healthy behavior. and if your friends shun you for not wanting to do that and being uptight, get new friends.

ask questions. if you are confused in class, ask. even if it's a dumb question. I admit I have thought before "are you dumb" when someone asked a question but at the end of the day I'm just a hater and that person benefitted from hearing an answer and learned. if you can, email your teachers and go in during your study halls or lunch hour for individual help. I never would have passed ap calc without all the days I spent in my teacher's classroom during my lunch period.

set boundaries with your friends. you can still show your friend you want to talk to them and value their friendship and express you want to listen in class. also you're just annoying if you talk the whole time. that's the hater in me coming out I'm sorry.

stop following made-up social media teen rules you hate. that makes me sound old when I say that but I can't describe it any other way. an example of this is instead of asking for someone's snap, just say "hi I really like you do you want to go on a date and can I get your phone number?". have real human interactions. Just because Brady Smith and his friends always sit at that table at lunch doesn't mean you can't sit there if you get there first. just because it's "cringe" doesn't mean you shouldn't do it. Be polite. shake someone's hand instead of dapping them up or whatever the hell. high five unironically. read a book in class instead of being on your phone. it doesn't mean you're trying to be quirky. it just means you want to read a book and people who make fun of you for reading probably should be the ones reading.

which leads me to: read more books. doesn't have to be something profound like a classic. it can be shitty YA vampire love triangle. it can be the series you loved in middle school about dragons. it can be something super long and profound. it can be non-fiction, it can be manga, it can be whatever!!!!! just read!!! just because someone to your left is reading jane austen doesn't mean you can't read warrior cats.

this might be more of an american thing but participate in dress-up days. this helped me overcome a lot of my social anxiety. even if no one else is doing it, I am going to dress like a cowboy because god damn it, it is dress like a cowboy day. i guarantee nobody cares. There's this kid at my school that regularly shows up in different costumes and I think its awesome and I also don't care. It could be some random tuesday and I could see Goku in the hallway and go "That's weird" and go about my day. Dress like Goku. End up on the school snapchat story with popular kids putting comments over it with a skull emoji. be free. The same kid also dressed up accordingly for holidays. Kids like that make you smile and you remember them fondly. my sister had a classmate who brought a toy thor's hammer to school everyday. i guarantee people made fun of him but thats awesome dude. nobody cares and if they do they need to get their priorities checked.

do your work in class so you don't have to do it at home. it saves time and you have more time to be lazy. if you have to work at home make sure to keep a planner. It's not cringe you're just being responsible. write it down or it will be gone from your brain in an instant and it will be 3 am and you will be writing a last minute research paper and not remember how to do citations.

make accommodations for yourself at school. for me this looks like dressing comfortably even tho I want to be stylish. It's also always bringing my headphones to school to have music on so I can focus. There's no reason to make school hard for yourself, bring things you might need, you don't need to raw dawg the day.

if you can, utilize time before school and after school to get help. I know so many people are busy so this might be tough but most schools will have resources like saturday school or they open early and have teachers who come in to tutor. at the end of the day though, prioritize you over your grades. You should still try but if you need the day to play video games and sleep, play video games and sleep.

to sum it up: stop comparing yourself to other people, compare yourself to you. only you know what you've been through and your level of growth. it's easier to be a happy teen when you arent worried what other people think. I hope this was useful!!!! thank you for reading if anyone made it this far.

[sevlawless]

okay so the n route has been bothering me ever since i played it and i needed to air my frustrations out as a way to cope i suppose

for reference my main detective who i use for n is felicity, but sometimes i also use arabella to test out some options i wouldn't normally pick and just to see how the romance works with a detective that isn't exactly that compatible with n. so when i first played, i used felicity and then later on when i was doing a deep dive into the romance and the plot, i was using arabella just to see if certain things held up yk! and lord how i wish it did LMFAO

just a little disclaimer that this is all just my opinion and i'm willing to listen to other points of view about this! and i do not mean any of what i say as a dig or to be hateful toward n, they are my favorite li in twc and the fact that i love their romance and their character so much is probably most if not all of the reason why their route in book 3 was so weird to me, and why i make the critiques that i do.

under the cut because this is a doozy and also book 3 spoilers

first of all the main thing in the demo chapters is that n gets mad if you try and fight the trappers bc they are so scared of losing you and like i GUESS i get it but this is literally our life now you're just gonna have to get used to it. and this wouldn't have even been an big issue for me if it was properly addressed! when i played using arabella i tried being mad, i tried staying mad, and it kept getting swept under the rug by the plot. like are we seriously not going to talk about this??? at all?????? and it seems very ooc for n NOT to say anything about it when you get a moment alone because why would they not address it, ESPECIALLY if your mc was still upset over it. AND ESPECIALLY IF YOU’RE IN A RELATIONSHIP LIKE- these things need to be discussed in order to grow as a couple and there needs to be healthy communication or else this is not going to work. like you're telling me we were living with unit bravo for WEEKS and this shit just never got brought up again?

this also ties into my next gripe- n's backstory. so, if you snooped in the demo they won't tell you anything, which okay. mc shouldn't have done that, sure, but n doesn't even give a reason as to why they're upset by that. obviously you can be like "well i think anyone would be upset if you delved into their past without their knowledge or permission" but YOU ARE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH THIS PERSON WHY IS THERE NO COMMUNICATION OF FEELINGS. i would have appreciated that scene a hell of a lot more if n sat you down and was like "i'm upset that you did this, here's why," but all they do is get sad and then that's it. when i played as arabella i had her snoop AND get upset over the argument during the trapper fight, and n said something along the lines of "i know sometimes we regret doing things" as a reference to snooping AND the argument which??? just does NOT hold up at all and had me irritated as hell.

if you didn't snoop in the demo, n takes you to their room and shows you a picture of their family and talks about them and how his brother joined the navy and didn't come back (their brother was killed by vampires) and that's why they decided to join the navy, as a way to try and figure out what actually happened. this scene started off great, but it's cut short way too quickly because n drops the photo and the frame breaks. and then they basically just shoo you out. there's really not any option to comfort them, and the option that is there is not good enough. and it's not that n had to tell us EVERYTHING in that one scene, but it's more so the fact that it NEVER gets brought up again. your mc can't take a moment to bring it up and n sure as hell doesn't say anything else about it. which is so ?????? im sorry you supposedly love this person (im saying this for both mc and n) and yet neither of you address it again??? it makes no sense at all.

onto the research/combat scene… i've done the combat scene once so i can't really speak on that as much as the research one so. most of the research scene is fine aside from the fact if you're not in a relationship (which i did for one playthrough with felicity) n brings up bobby if you dated them which felt so bizarre but anyways. the option to realize you love n… i would love this IF the option where you tell n you love them actually mattered. LMFAO if you tell n you love them they literally just stare at you and then the sex scene pops up. like are you kidding me??? n would not just leave you hanging like that even if it was just to say that they don't feel that way yet. and the sex scene itself is… fine i suppose but it doesn't feel as intimate as it should be. there's little to no dialogue and it just feels so weird to read. like why would neither of you be saying anything?? not to mention the fact that you're literally OUTSIDE of the warehouse where any of ub could see you at any point it just feels wrong to have sex at that point at least in my opinion. and the talk after feels so short and weird i feel like both the detective and n would have more to say. and that moment is quickly brushed away by the plot.

i guess the next plot line is whether u told tina or verda or nobody about the supernatural. going into book 3 this was probably what i looked forward to the most and ofc it barely delivered. i liked seeing tina and n interact but that quickly turned sour for me, not because tina started rightfully bringing up how much mc has been through, but because n really does not do anything with that pov being voiced to them, which is so fucking ooc it pains me. when they go to talk to mc after their conversation there's no discussion just "i wanted to see you" okay but WHY did you? i would have taken a li pov of what tina relayed to them literally anything! and it's just another thing that gets swept under the rug because of the stupid ass plot.

another thing about the dinner that gets lost in the plot of book 3: tina/verda bringing up your li possibly drinking your blood and mc can react a number of different ways and i wish it had been talked about more than just in that moment 😭

the only scene that i genuinely enjoyed in all of n's route was after that building caves in on mc and you're back at the warehouse traumatized and bruised and defeated. n runs you a bath and if you pick that option helps you out of your clothes and then helps you settle into bed. i wish there had been more discussion of anything in that scene but mc was so out of it i was okay with no talking. and then redacted petname <3 the other thing i was most looking forward to! one thing i did dislike about this scene though was that we didn't really get a glimpse on how n was feeling yk usually mishka offers the li's pov on a scene and not having that made that moment not feel as rounded out.

the pool scene… first of all why did n get this one. like it would have made sense for m, hell even a! and again the scene felt so shallow and then the option to have sex. you're telling me your first time with n can be on a fucking pool table???? that is so not their vibe AT ALL and it feels so weird to even have that there. it was unnecessary as well as the other opportunity to have sex and i feel like mishka just put them in there as like fan service when who (in my opinion) genuinely wants this if they romance n and have them as their main route. i had hoped the first time n and mc have the opportunity to have sex it would be a more intimate setting because that's more fitting for them and my nate mc, felicity. but nope! and then the scene gets cut short because n has to go on patrol??? and again the sex scene itself … neither of them feel personable it's like a "one size fits all" type of approach and that just does not work if this is supposed to be interactive fiction where we create a personality for our mc's that cannot fit this specific mold mishka wants to put everyone in.

being invited to what might as well just be a fucking slave trade (i have many thoughts about this auction plotline as well but for now im discussing n's route) had me so confused because why would mishka even do that and then n's comment about the stationary? i need you to be fucking for real. the scene before you leave for the mission with n just felt so weird like we get it n is protective of mc but at this point it just felt like a hinderance which sucks because one of the things i love most about n is their deep care for mc and they just sounded like a broken record and it annoyed me so bad.

after all that, the scene when you come back and n is in tears confessing their love for mc i wanted to enjoy it i really did and i just could not upon replaying because it feels so unbelievably hollow. we have not discussed anything pertaining our relationship and when there are things that need to be discussed they are so underwhelming it's hard to even care. there are a handful of things n and mc both need to work on in order for this relationship to work and the fact that they're not being addressed makes it difficult for me to enjoy anything about this route. you can't even tell n you love them back for fuck's sake like hello.

a theme that i did not think was going to be as prominent as it was in this book but n contemplating mc turning into a vampire and AGAIN there wasn't ever really a discussion about this between mc and n and i feel like this will come to a head as the books progress but i don't think it fit into book 3 considering so many other things were being thrown at us.

all in all i truly desperately wanted to enjoy book 3 and enjoy being with n but i cannot when there are so many things ignored, sidelined, or just completely forgotten in order to push the plot forward.

[malka-lisitsa]

What's it like dating Katherine?

I'm so glad that you asked!

I see a LOT of 'Dating Katherine would consist of-" Posts and they're all so romanticized its so unrealistic!!! So let me tell you what dating Katherine is ACTUALLY LIKE, because she is NOT an easy person to be with!

Now quick disclaimer here- this doesn't mean she isn't a good person to date and that it's all bad. It's NOT and I will definitely list the entire spectrum here good and bad- but Katherine is not for the faint of heart and if yall want to fantasize about what dating her would be like you need the real guide book.

SO here's what dating Katherine Pierce would be like.

Katherine is BPD this is a terrible condition that affects her ability to maintain relationships especially.

Paranoid delusions are v common, Katherine has incredible trust issues already (can you blame her) so paired up with paranoia she would be very suspicious at completely random times. One day she could be completely ok with x person being around you and then the next day she could be so insecure and jealous bc her head has convinced her that you are in fact cheating on her.

Katherine's rapid mood swings? Not cute! :D She can go from fine, to white hot rage in a split second and then if you blink shes sobbing! WHY? SHE DOESN'T FUCKING KNOW!! And to top it all off!! She doesn't know what to do with herself when she has these mood swings! Could be anything from isolation, to being needy, or even lashing out randomly! Its a surprise for EVERYONE INVOLVED!!

Picking fights! Legitimate fights out of nowhere! Why? Bc abandonment issues! You're gonna leave her anyway why shouldn't she be in control of that right? She will push you away viciously!! The guess what?? After that episode is over she will try to smooth it over and pull you back because she doesnt actually want to lose you- shes just SCARED and has zero emotional regulation!

She will TEST YOU CONSTANTLY and you will never know, you will never be trained, or given a guide you are expected to know what the right thing to do with/for her is and if you DONT- FIGHT. This is super common in BPD, these tests and theyre almost ALWAYS unreasonable, again bc if you fail the test she gets to pick a fight and rationalize you dont actually care about her and she should push you away before you hurt her.

Intense emotions! My GOD lets not forget that she not only feels things vampire intense but she feels them BPD intense ON TOP OF THAT. SHE WILL BE UNREASONABLE. OFTEN. IT IS NOT HER FAULT. She literally has no control over it. She is not logical when triggered it is ALL emotional lizard brain. If you push her she will bite you- no middle ground.

She will get scared, and she will most likely try to run, or push you away. Anyone who can reach you, can hurt you- and Katherine has a built in warning system when someone starts to get close enough they can actually hurt her- the the instinct to sabotage that relationship kicks in.

Katherine is an impulsive liar. You will be lied to. Probably over the stupidest shit like 'we're out of nuggets' so you pick her up something else on the way home. Also probably about important shit. Katherine's most common lie is 'im fine'

Katherine is POSSESSIVE and she is NOT shy about it either. Reactions can vary from some heavy PDA to actual violence...

Dating Katherine is dealing with her insomnia. It's dealing with her waking up screaming, or in tears. It's having her climb in your lap to sleep because she needs to feel safe. Remember this girl has been HUNTED and FUCKED WITH for 500 YEARS. SAFE is never a default feeling for her. She is ALWAYS in fight or flight mode and it's EXHAUSTING when your brain keeps telling you 'cant sleep now there are enemies near by'

Dating Katherine is never knowing whats going on in her head because she wont tell you. You need to learn her very subtle language she communicates in to understand her mental state.

its katherine having very little emotional maturity, and lashing out at the first sign of rejection or criticism. Its Katherine having black and white thinking NO grey area.

Its learning a whole new dialect just to be able to understand what she actually means when she says or does certain things.

But it's also katherine routinely playing games with you. Random games of tag. Making up new rules youve never heard of in checkers that she swears are legit she learned them in mexico. Its secretly throwing games sometimes so she can win and you get to keep playing that game...

Its her snooping through your stuff to get to know you, because while she could just ask, she needs enrichment and snooping is very fun for her.

Its her plopping herself down next to you because she just wants to be around you (even if its picking a fight for attention)

It's her head on your chest as she listens to your heart beat and falls asleep on you.

Its seeing the way she looks at you, with a love so powerful you cant even imagine what it feels like.

its her doing little things to express that she loves you. Thes things vary from doing a chore, to leaving you a present, kissing you randomly, asking to cuddle and watch a movie- its a wide variety she uses to express herself with.

its her asking you to watch videos with her or read to her.

it's finding out all of the little details she knows about you, all the tiny stuff most people don't notice, that she has learned and even likes about you.

its her cooking you one of her 4 known and perfected dishes randomly.

its quiet evenings of just existing in each others company as you do whatever

its play fighting, that turns into a make out session.

its mind blowing sex tbh

Its being loved with a love that was more than love-

its waking up next to this beautifully complex creature and knowing she picked you.

Nah, dating Katherine is not a walk in the park. It takes a very special and dedicated person with a lot of courage to handle this girl. It takes someone with patience. Someone with determination, and the ability to love her at her absolute worst. It takes someone willing to UNDERSTAND that she is not always in control of her behaviors. That she is just as fed up and scared and done with the way shes acting, but shes TRAPPED on the inside of her own head just WATCHING herself tear shit apart and she cant do ANYTHING to stop it.

It takes someone willing to meet her aggression with a gentle hand. It takes someone who will reassure her constantly that they love her and want her. It takes someone who understands that she needs special treatment most people would deem unreasonable or entitled. It's a toxic relationship until you learn the cheat codes to bypass her defense mechanisms. It takes time and dedication. So if you're thinking all of that sounds toxic and terrible, then you honestly don't deserve all the good, all the light she can be when handled properly.

Katherine is a girl who loves harder than most people could even imagine. She's dedicated. Shes smart. Shes a wonderful charismatic person- but she is DAMAGED and requires special care- so if you cant handle the care needs for an exotic animal, it's best you just visit every now and then and let someone whos willing to put in the effort, reap the immense benefits. Dating Katherine, LOVING KATHERINE- it isnt EASY.... but it's WORTH IT.

I'm sure I missed a few things for good AND bad but honestly you get the jist.

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for doing my job as a security guard?

I'm (?M) (age is kinda weird for me because im uh, not human) like uh, a security guard at this science facility... right... And I'm making my rounds like usual, and I go up to my coworker, my good friend J(M) (i forget how old he is...), who's having some trouble at the door with some asshole who I'm gonna call uhh... G (27M) who comes striding up expecting to be let in because he's in uniform. J is like pissed at this guy, he has anger issues so I break up the situation and ask for G's passport, like his company passport that everyone has. He's acting dumb and saying he's wearing the uniform and shit and that he doesn't have a passport and doesn't know what it is. I whisper to J that he doesn't have it, and J isn't saying much, just that this guy isn't allowed in here. J is really upset his fists are like, balled, he's so mad. He's like... five seconds away from beating up this guy. So I calm him down, soothe him with this company thing we have to be able to protect G.

G keeps going on about how he's in the suit for some test their running but that doesn't mean anything to me, he could've stolen it or something... But he's really adamant that he needs to go to this test chamber to run this really important science test, so I let him in but I follow him around to make sure he's not up to anything weird. He says that he's gonna find his passport somewhere so we proceed down towards the test area.We run into some old scientist guy... I'll call him B, and he says that I shouldn't be down here because I'm not wearing hazard gear, but it's okay I assure him I have my passport and my ID and he of course lets me through, I try to tell G this is how things are when you bring these things but he doesn't believe me. Even B is shocked that this guy doesn't have his passport. It's unbelievable. I'm so frustrated with this guy at this point.

We make it to the door to the test chamber, and G tells me if I go in I'll die because I'm not wearing hazard gear. So he goes ahead and leaves me behind, but I slip into the chamber anyways, and he's like so shocked he starts swearing and everything. He's telling me I'm supposed to not be in here, which... Ironic... Because he's the one who isn't supposed to be here probably. So i say I'm going to just keep tabs on him to make sure he doesn't steal anything.

G keeps talking with the scientists and turning on equipment and stuff, so I'm following him up ladders and everything, and he probably isn't even doing things right. There's smoke in the test chamber and shit. Another scientist, C(Old M), says that he shouldn't be smoking in the test chamber. I tell G again not to steal or touch stuff, because this is clearly all his fault.He's moving some sort of cart into this lazer, and my scientist friend T(36M) is telling him to push it really slowly, like molasses or something. I'm asking him why he's touching that thing and G is yelling about being behind schedule and how there's not supposed to be two people in the chamber, but he just goes ahead and pushed it in anyways.

Everything starts glowing green and blowing up and shit it's all going wrong... It's so fucked.

I'm trying to get a hold of things, there's weird creatures crawling around that I'm shooting when I run into G and B again. I can tell G totally blames me for fucking up the experiment and the whole compound, which we now have to work together escape from because it's all falling apart and filled with creatures and shit. We've met up with T and C as well and are working together to get out of here, but G keeps being a total dick to me for just doing my job, and is acting like none of this was his fault... AITA?

[acceptingmyowncompany]

Because Who Can I Talk To...

This post has so much potential to be cringe a year from now. Shit even months from now. I need it out of my head though

A friend of mine joked about setting me up with her friend. We met but I didnt really make a move. Too shy. She's cute though. Nice, smart, witty. It became a bit that I thought was still funny despite nothing really coming of it.

We eventually followed each other on instagram, which is good but my friend isn't riffing the bit anymore. A mutual of ours is communicating with me more often than before. Energy is weird but I'm not trying to look into it. Come to find out she likes me and I can't help but feel like thats why my friend stopped riffing the bit and advocating for me/us.

Despite that, the girl and I are kind of... idk playing tennis. Maybe fishing?! Idk the proper analogy. We are posting things kind of trying to bait the other person into interacting with it. I shouldn't say we... EYE, 100% am and she did at least once. Eventually a real conversation starts between us and it's like... legit awesome. Like she's so cool, and we've been thru some similar shit and look at the world in a similar way. I make points and she responds basically finishing my thoughts. Im like wooow we have so much in common. It excites me in a way that I haven't been excited in a LONG time. I think I'm crushing on her now... I can't wait for her to come into town.

She comes into town and I get no sleep the night before. I'm running on fumes. I have no energy to talk to her, to be charming or funny. I'm just listening and yawning a lot. I got her cookies... didnt even present them forreal. She was here for a week and that was the only day I saw her. At this point I'm FUCKING SICK. It's another display of how my friend is no longer trying to help out because she didnt try to set me up with some hangouts. Doubts about her interest because if she was hoping to see me, again you'd think the friend would hit me about plans or invite me over. I dont take initiative. Don't want to be too thirsty. I hold my L and get kinda sad because I like the feeling. I like talking to her, but it's over...

Until... the day after she gets back home, she messages me randomly about One Piece. I'm hype af. She thanks me for cookies, I apologize for zombie. We're talking again. And talking a lot. We are in constant communication. We message everyday. It's not a constant flow but it's fairly steady. We go like this for like a month and some. She's my favorite notification. I look forward to her responses and suddenly they stop. Not all together. The frequency though. A few messages a day to one a day. Now the response coming a full day or two later. Which would be completely fine if like... I didnt see she's been active mad times or when I see her message elsewhere. I'm not mad, but it makes me think.

We aren't anything. She owes me nothing. I like talking to her. Do I like her? I don't have an answer. The level of bothered I am, would imply I do, but it could just be the engagement. The attention. The fact that she activates something in my brain that hasn't been safely activated in over a decade. I don't say this to minimize her impact. I genuinely think she's special. She told me some of her story and I just wanna protect her at all costs even though we're probably not that close. I think she's great but I also still don't know her. We have yet to find a comfortable real life flow. We have yet to establish any sort of chemistry. So it's like cool, yeah we can text and send paragraphs to each other, but can we hold a conversation. Can we go back and forth without prep time?! Until we can properly test those waters, on the phone or IRL then I can't fully say I like her. Just that I like messaging her.

The problem is... does she like me?! Does she like messaging me?! Did her life get busier?! Am I boring?! I don't know how she feels about it. I try to sneak in things in the convo to like indicate I think highly of her, but I get no read on that the other way around. My friend no longer asks about it, or riffs the bit. No convo about us. Its triggering. I was often left on unopened while my friend was texting the girl I liked right in front of me. Her excuse was "oh me and him aren't having deep convo so it's easy to message back. me and you are having more in-depth convo so it requires more thought out answers." The truth was, she was fucking him and they were both hiding it from me and thus TRAUMATIZED. She can do what she wants. She can have a guy in MD, or a guy in her DMs. Again, we aren't anything, but I'd hate to get my hopes up again, just to be being placed on the back burner while she's got other stuff going on. Shits embarrassing. It's easy to feel like a loser and shit.

And so I am at an impasse. I can't be emotional about this. I can't ask for more messages, but I do want more. I want to explore what we could be, even if it's just friends. Just so I can like know its just friends. I want to talk on the phone or play a game where we can use out voices to connect instead of seining one big message a day. How can I do that?! I want to let her know I think she's dope, and I have but she's just kinda been whatever about it. Maybe thats my answer I should probably take that as an answer. I'M JUST TIRED OF HAVING TO PLAY IT COOL. I want to talk about it with somebody that can help me. I wanna be excited about the potential. I wanna laugh with her and learn more about her. I want her to know I think she's cool and I wanna talk about the future together. I wanna do things to connect with her and show her I think she's cool. But then im overbearing. I'm thirsty. I'm doing too much. Scare her away. if she's got another dude she's talking to, im humiliating myself.

I basically wanna embrace that side of life. Intimacy and romance. Connection. I wanna show her my interest and feel her interest. The push and pull. It was cool when we were playing tennis. It was amazing to go back and forth. Idk what to do. I kinda wanna end the convo and she what'll happen. But what if I just hurt my own feelings. How do I pivot the convo we have right now?! I don't know. I've gone crazy and I hate it here lmao.

Anyways, this girls cool and pretty and I wanna get to known her better like talk more intimately and frequently but I don't know if I will or if she even cares to... but I just wish I could be blunt about this thought/feeling. Who know's what'll happen next.