#i pray that i become old
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I hate anti aging propaganda. it is a blessing to live long enough to see your hair become silver and your face wrinkle with time.
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something that's been weighing on my mind ever since learning about the situation with ezra / toonimal is seeing how these predators will take the active hostility that is frequently directed towards minors in online spaces to their advantage and use it to prey on vulnerable children. i think that we as adults in online fandom should probably come together and maybe rethink the language / manner we go about interacting with kids bc clearly the way things are rn is causing active harm.
like obviously, if you're an adult and aren't comfortable with minors interacting with you or your content, you should be allowed to set that boundary and should be vocal about it, ( especially if the content you create isn't safe for them to consume. ) but i don't think talking to them like they're a blight on all that is good and holy is the way to go about it. maybe just saying you're an 18 plus account will suffice, you don't have to tell them to fuck off.
#i'm opening myself up for ppl to leave the stupidest takes on this post but whatever i need to get this off my mind#before anyone says anything about the kids on that website. they're grooming victims. they're literally kids being taken advantage of#show them some fucking kindness and be understanding that they're the victims in this situation#idk what it is about becoming an adult that causes so many ppl to lose their empathy towards minors it's weird#like yeah kids can be annoying and pushy on online spaces sometimes but a lot of them are old enough to know online etiquette lbr#alot of us were annoying kids on the internet at some point we should understand that you don't just. get a handbook for how to act online#that's shit you learn overtime but ppl seem to forget that#they also seem to forget that talking down to kids isn't gonna teach them shit they're not gonna listen to you if you treat them like idiots#what i'm trying to say is that we really need to talk to minors more respectfully and maybe give them a little grace#( obviously there will be situations where some of them need to be yanked up by the collar but there's ways to go about that >>>#without treating them like shit )#these kids need to know that there's spaces for them to be online safely without having to stumble into places that'll pray on them#we all know how much it sucked to be a kid online we should want better for the ones coming in after us ya know#sorry if this comes across as preachy it just breaks my heart and boils me blood to see kids being taken advantage of like this#especially when there's ways to prevent it idk#how do i even tag this....#mj.txt#there's trigger warning on the linked post btw#tw csa mention
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Why is it seemingly impossible to find other almost 30 year olds in some fandoms who are
a. Active
and
b. Not the kind of 30yo who have vague-post beef with teens on twitter
I dont want to be that old weirdo in the crowd of 20yos but from personal experience, 25yo+ fans with a “you don’t wanna deal with a devil like me” ass attitude make me wanna bang my head against a wall.
Can we not just sit back & talk about asoryuri and swap fics and doodles in peace yes or no
To be fair i do have friends that i like and are really chill, only downside is they do not care even a little bit about ace attorney LMAO
#sorry i turn 27 tomorrow & its weighing on my mind#i miss my old jojo mutuals but we’re all tired and working our jobs rn#my buddies r either on hiatus or deep in other fan trenches like i am with aa#i blab to a few people a little bit & it keeps me sane#anyway#thats life i guess#hoping & praying theres a chill late 20s someone playing dgs right now & getting the brainrot#or a long time fan whos about to bust in & become super online again#if ur over 25 can i try rizzing you up PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLESSE#chisme
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i call this collection, contradictory quotes from two boys very, very confused about their families, homes, and loyalties.
#valyrianscrolls#asoiaf meta#asoiaf#jon snow#theon greyjoy#jonathan snowflake starkgaryen#long post#this was such a pain bc tumblr kept giving me errors processing the post#so i ended up having to copypaste into a word doc and take screengrabs of that to post as photos#finally posting out of sheer stubborn frustration as much as anything#(c)lsb#i am no stark#its not like i think jon was wishing for cat's death every time she went into childbirth#but the possibility must have occured to him that w/o her nobody would question his place at winterfell where hed lived his whole life#the same could not be said for hostage theon with no stark blood#and hes blinded by jealousy to think jon had more honor at wf. more love maybe but he wasnt the one sitting with robb for fancy feasts#jon's thoughts of the gods are quoted bc hes implicitly counting himself a stark with that phrasing instead of his gods or the old gods#just like theon betraying himself every time he said plural gods even if he never cared enough abt any gods to pray until ramsay#i'll always think his capture of wf had as much to do w desire to become a stark as revenge#else he would have sacked the castle and took hostages back to pyke like asha said#its like the saying if you cant beat em join em for theon it was the opposite#he couldnt understand why people who knew him as a hostage wouldnt help him hunt down his own child hostages#it was only fair! theyd be his wards and still live at winterfell together#it occurs to me that stannis for jon was like ned for theon stern scary guy he had to remind himself not to care about#jon may as well be shouting im the lord of winterfell when announcing his desertion hes so bold yet he thinks if this is oathbreaking#if! what theon turncloak mental gymnastics could make it not oathbreaking to kill a northern lord?!
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I know we are not supposed to be rooting for Derrick (or anyone in Penelope's family really)
but he has such pretty eyes
Especially when he's frowning ;w;
#villains are destined to die#i can't help it he has a character design that hits all of my likes T_T#in all seriousness though i do like all of the Eckharts for different reasons#Reynold after the attic scene where he has a moment of realization and does start to truly look out for Penny#and his hatred of her was understandable - he was 14 years old his little sister was missing a lookalike was brought in to be his new siste#and the lookalike prays that the og sister is never found/is already dead#that is a very good reason to become resentful!#meanwhile the duke is just neglectful. and knows he's neglectful and tries to (originally) make up for it#by letting Penny buy what she wants and run wild#but once he's forced to also come to terms with how he's been treating his daughter#you start to see that he's well aware of how he's messed up and he does actually really care about Penny as a daughter#and striving to do better#(i get the feeling that unlike Derrick he genuinely did not know the details of the incident with Emily)#meanwhile Derrick is..... Derrick. i love him but i also want to stab him#but the really biggest tragedy of it all is the isekai element#where the heroine finds out that while Penny's family was awful to her they are not as awful as her own#and are capable of treating her the way an adopted daughter should have been treated#but Penelope will never receive those affections and the heroine will never get this kind of closure from her own family
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I gave so much of my heart to One Direction for so many years. The soundtrack of my late teens and early twenties is their music. This is…so much.
I feel like I was just at their concert. Their voices are still ringing in my ears. My heart feels so low.
#even with everything going on with him recently#i genuinely hoped that he could become someone better#the person that 19 year old me believed he could be#praying and sending comfort to his loved ones#he was much too young#liam payne#rip liam payne
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Avenday when she was a baby. The size of two praying mantises
#Emu does art#when you are seven and a half months old and not very large but by god your neck and tail started growing before anything else#she was the size of One tiny praying mantis when she hatched so. That’s a bit to grow in seven months#technically speaking her legs would have started growing a little but then the neck and tail started very fast#and maybe her wings along with the legs#at some point the wings stop growing to match her size so she can’t fly anymore#I’ve got a lot in my head about the goop creatures. Anatomy and also they grow sorta weird?#Avenday is very visibly bug like when she’s younger#and then she starts becoming like those aquatic bugs/birds I think#and then she looks more mammalish?#by the time she’s ten she’s the size of a large dog#gets to pony size by twelve?#and then a big growth spurt 13-16#in which she starts getting longer prongs on her antenna/antlers#gets more glowspots. and gets a spikier carapace sort of#her carapace would start around 3? But only get really tough at 8#and that would also be the time her colour patterns solidify more#when she’s past 20 she’ll start growing like a spiky fur ruff.#her tongue would be like a butterfly thing until shes 4-6#and then it’s like a cat but much longer#So. Avenday#shes cool!
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cant remember bringing this up for a while so honestly i'll never be over the reiiteration that jean himself has a bleeding heart. he is going to be both blunt and honest with whoever hes speaking to, but in a way that he hopes will come to help them understand the situation but also does it so whoever he's speaking with actually understands the full situation and what that may entail despite the gruesome outcome.
#out of.#i know so many people respect erwins RTS speech bc its so important but#his honesty to the corps completely parallels what 15 year old jean was saying to the scouts in trost arc and that is. IMPORTANT TO ME#rusty honesty is the most lore accurate name for his theme bc jean is. at his very core. AWFUL at this when he starts off#esp as a scout bc ... so much of it gets held back. just not enough for marco to not see it :pray:#his first proper scout interaction with eren is something i always write as a big regret for him but i also think its good to say he was a#fifteen year old who was suddenly becoming his own and a lot of peoples therapists.#he gets so much better with all this. he GROWS#i was talking abt this with angel a second ago but it's just part of the reiner and jean parallel that makes me enjoy writing them the most#reiner originally was this massive older brother figure role following all he had learnt from marcel. but peoples trust in him snapped so#easily when the reveal took place and he then spent the rest of the series trying to gain it back#( the only character who really seemed to forgive him the most being jean )#whereas jean was the character everyone loved to be mad at / tease / not get too close to#into becoming someone the majority of the scouts trusted the most#one day i will write my meta explaining all these diff characters jean mirrors but ... i shall leave you with this for now
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my phone gets drunk at least once a month (gets drenched in beer by accident and stops working for 1 to 2 days) which is incresibly inconvenient but also nice because i can disconnect from social media for a whole ass day!
#except one time a drop of water fell on it and it stopped working as i was leaving work#and i was going to meet my friend in the big plaza in the city#and i literally left work and couldn't call her or do anything at all with my phone#she called me and i couldn't take the call#and so i just walked around the plaza looking for her#and then miraculously found her somehow and like i couldn't even uber home or anything#now i'm using my old phone#but idk if he will be fine this time... pray for me#like it's been 1 day in rice and nothing#just so you understand the phone is fine#simply the screen touch doesn't work#i think it's a safety measure from samsung cuz the old one caught water in the camera and it didn't open#untjl after it fully dried the phone wouldn't open the camera#so i guess it has some kind of sensor to know if it's wet inside and not let you use it so it doesn't break for real bc of heating and stuff#but idk i hope he becomes ok bc i don't have money for a new phone nor a screen repair
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i love my friends, so sad to leave but that means there was so much love here :')
#friendship is making stupid jokes and sharing the hard things and arguing about who's going to pray before a meal and eating pizza together#and reminiscing on stories that get slightly different but funnier and fonder every time#and offering to help in awkward situations and doing each others dishes#my friend was saying today that as you go into new phases of life you do make new better friends#but it's not because you're replacing your old friends it's that you're becoming more mature and are better able to appreciate different#things about people and you become a better friend yourself#i really hope that's true :')#but i will still love my friends from here even if it's from afar#would literally not be who i am now without them#p
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there are things that you don't do for a year or more and pick up just right where you left off and these days i fear loving you might be one of them
#double meaning on that but. yeah.#it's like. i haven't touched the imaging software i use for an entire year. soldering iron in decades. pick it right back up. to my surpris#muscle memory is crazy#i don't draw for months and pick up right where i was with a few sketches bc the work you put in stays even when you don't actively practic#when it's something you've practiced weekly and daily it sticks with you and ig that's good#but then it's like. the horrors. that haunt you. yk? what if a part of me will always save a soft spot for my ex. what then.#what if I'm fine now and I'm doing okay and i don't miss it and I think i'm okay moving forward and i see her and suddenly I'm on the floor#what if some part of me that was in love never really went away what if i haven't managed to kill all of it yet#bc i genuinely would not know what to do. i. i don't want to admit it but one of my worst fears is liking someone who doesn't like you back#and what's even more horrifying is if it's obvious. if everyone can tell. and usually I'm good at hiding it! (not really) but it's just. id#it's shame in liking someone who you tell yourself you don't want to like and you know you shouldn't. and not having control over it.#hoping praying that either she does something that turns the little switch in my head that sends her into the unforgivable category#or that i become straight. or that i become straight. mhm. yep. or ig the other option is i get a crush on someone new but like. mm.#i kinda have gotten w every person I've had a crush on since hs and i kinda don't think im ready for another rs so soon.#the baggage i just got is. hm. idk i kinda don't wanna unpack it. it's something that can easily be done if i had the missing pieces but.#i don't think I'm ever gonna get them. so. instead I'm gonna take. maybe another 3 months or 5 months or a year or a few. to just. slowly.#idek. it's just triggering old things. bringing me back to when i was 14. i never really got closure from that either. it took me 3 years.#I'm sure this time it'll go away faster but idk experiencing it a second time has a different feel to it. idk. it's weird.#it's like. idk. it's like you're watching it happen and you're not even there anymore. idk. i really don't know.#oh. I've been dissociating.#idk maybe it's for the best i really don't know i really don't know and everyone says i have to do what's best for myself but idk what is#my life is on track things are moving forward I'm doing better and healing but i can't escape the feeling of dread#something is going to catch up with me sooner or later and idk what it is idk at what intensity and idk if i will be ready for it#but anyway. when you love someone intentionally every day for a while. when does it go away? will it go away?#or will i have to live haunted by ppl who are alive but changed. so practically dead w/o the opportunity to mourn. for the rest of my life?#like i don't think i get it. loving this person was like. cooking and eating. intentional. ingrained into everyday life. effortful.#what if my mind does forget but my body still remembers. what then. what if it's like searching for sth you don't remember having anymore#ig I'm just trying to figure out how much to forget these days. how much won't hurt if it all comes back to haunt me#delete later
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I may be happy about this new season of beastars but that doesn't mean I'm not gonna absolutely rip into these arcs. I hate hate HATE them. even if studio orange manages to make it bearable I'm still gonna complain and bitch about it
#fugo.txt#the truth is we could've had so much more. but we didn't#we have to settle for... this.#in part yeah paru added a lot of things that felt nonsensical or were not touched upon ever again#(im mad as hell about yahyas old ass just walking off after the carnivore bones thing#or about San and Kyuu getting done that dirty. San straight disappeared.)#but also im blaming the manga industry in general for sucking ass. im not gonna act like its all on her lol#no tengo pruebas pero tampoco dudas#idk im still pissed about the ending. and about what they did to my girl Juno :( and i alsp thing haru gof a bit swept to the side.#in general im not happy ab these arcs lol#beastars#mutuals that aren't into beastars. im sorry for who I'll become#IM STILL EXCITED ABOUT THE NEW SEASON BTW im just mad at these arcs. the only thing that could make this better is if#we convinced DP to make a phf ova wink wink. starts praying to el gauchito gil.
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what is it with the trend of like. artists and cooks online shitting on their fanbase and insulting them. does that even sell. its annoying as hell.
#'reviewing washi for you NEETs. its pretty like your fake girlfriend' what if i put your bones on the ouside and your marrow in your lungs?#smthn smthn i hate the idea of having a fanbase as an artist n i hate artists needing fanbases but does it rlly sell to be a dick bc to me#it just reeks. if a recipe calls me a mammoni while teaching a basic skill ill start praying for pompei 2 electric boogaloo where they live#whats the point. i dont get it. someone who gets it explain it to me#im not saying ppl gotta be nice or w/e but if your entire livelihood is based on talking down on strangers maybe you should just skip#the air of pretentiousness and just become a dom for ppl who WANT to be humiliated.#same goes for like tiktok audio of ppl shittalking themseves that gets trendy its vile and annoying#and quite frankly im glad im too old to get it if thats the issue#its annoying for both roles bc like. idk for cooks its not smthn everyone knows to do and so insulting ppl the whole time feels kinda cruel#if someones going to yr vids to learn how to cook.#for artists i just dunno why it flies. i dont know why a lot of behaviors fly for artists when we were all high n drunk and running on 2#hours of sleep in college that was like. encouraged. why is it like that. tortured artist charicature be damned#is that what its supposed to invoke? does it build confidence??? is it a fake it til you make it thing???esplain????
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my very unpopular opinion is that. i really dont like the doctor/rose romance i just cant stomach it that girl is 19 years old. i love rose as a working class icon i really dont like her romance with the doctor. shes a 19 year old girl that gets swept up in this whole new magical world by a thousand year old alien i dont want to see him kiss her on the mouth im sorry. i dont want to see him become the point of her life i dont want to see her end up with a new traumatised again copy of him as a good ending with seemingly no problems
#lis talks#should i tag this... or will i get eaten alive... hardest decision in the history of my posting#no hate to people who ship them obviously!!! you can ship whatever you want forever#its just that i really dont like it#i remember watching 9's run praying to myself that they wont make his relationship with rose romantic#and. i guess what i want to say is that i love them as friends i adore them as friends#and i even dont mind the doctor being in love with her! i dont! i see the doctor as the type of guy who falls in love very easily#i just dont think he should have been the endgame for rose#i guess..yeah that would be my issue with them. the fact that he becomes the whole point of her life#and she ends up with him and thats her happy ending. like. i just dont like it im sorry im sorry i just dont#m. yeah. anyway when are we getting a female companion thats not 20 years old huh#doctor who#<-please dont kill me
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I want Jericho to be friends with a little girl who was a former patient of his that always brings him flowers. I want him to be consumed with guilt for killing her and reanimating her body, for lying and saying she is saved. I want it to eat him alive.
#jericho#i feel like this is something interesting her that i can scratch at and uncover#being killed by a doctor to be saved from disease but in exchange your body is invested with flora#it kind of feels in a way akin to the old belief of vampires#once they die. once they become a vampire. they are damned. i feel like it is the same here#which leads to even more guilt on jericho's behalf#because i feel like. despite him being an eldritch god's creation he prays to God for forgiveness#it's muddled. it is like he's nosferatu in a way.#there is also something to be said about one of his nicknames being Father when he is not part of the Church#also in relation to him being created by the Mother as well
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i wish plushies still used that like, really dense slightly longer pile minky-like fabric they used in like the old dakin garfield plushes or those bandai kirbies or like the vintage color me mario toys. i imagine its 1) probably too expensive 2) maybe hard to print patterns on? and 3) obscures too many details (especially for licensed merchandise) for companies to use nowadays but nothing is more appealing to me than a plush that looks like this:
#and YES the pile is too long for human skin on human characters. i dont care. i think peach is allowed to be furry if she wants#legit like so many plushies from the past 10 years have garnered 0 interest from me#despite how much i love plushies. and im realizing. its probably the fabric and feel LOL#give me that fluffy fabric#GIVE IT to me#i should see if i can get a hold of some if i ever make it through my current fabric stash#(unrelated but ive started cutting up old clothes that are too busted to donate or repair for fabric)#(theres no fabric recycling anywhere near me so this is the best i can do rather than just throw em out)#(but also at the same time a bunch of my middle school clothes that ive been wearing for the past decade have decided to combust)#(only slightly an exxagerration. sat down once and the entire ass ripped off of a very loose pair of pajama pants)#(thats how weak the fabric had become....... anyway now i have so much fabric scraps)#(help me. pray for me. what do i make with all these)
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