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luvvannie · 11 months ago

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!? --- YOUR HUSBAND, FYODOR DOSTOEVSKY

>> husband!fyodor x fem!reader (one use of 'princess,' and 'milaya,' but other than that, pretty gn!)

syn. a compilation of husband fyo headcannons :)

gen. fluffier than his hat

care.

i see a lot of people making him out to be so confident and MPH and although i am not here to undermine that thought (bc i am also horrendously in love w/ that possibility), i simply bring to the table SHY FYO !!!

like like like :(((((( him expressing his care for in like the most subtle ways,, like memorising your nap schedule and working around it for dates and outings AAAHH

and then ud be like 'but fyo isn't that time difficult for u??' and he'd respond 'but thats an hour after the time u wake up from ur nap in the evening so ull have enough time to get ready and pick ur outfit and do ur hair and ur makeup' AND THEN ULL BE LIKE 'AWWW FYOOOOO' and then he'll be so confused bc to him it's like how was that cute i was just being practical 🧍‍♂️

going off of the whole memorising things about you... i feel like he would just have your orders for whatever place written off on a little sticky note in the back of his mind... like he NAILS ur order without so much as a confirmation from you... it's like watching a well-oiled machine run tbh, 'one ___ but without the ___ and extra ___ and also a ___ in a meal with a ___. thank you." LIKE WOW!!! THATS UR MAN!!!

physical affection.

okay listen... still going with shy fyo but steering a little away because AFFECTIONATE FYO???? FYO WHO WILL RANDOMLY GRAB YOUR HAND OUT OF NOWHERE AND STROKE HIS THUMB OVER YOUR KNUCKLES, BEFORE TAKING YOUR HAND TO HIS LIPS AND KISSING EACH FINGER??? FYO WHO WILL WALK INTO THE ROOM, KISS YOUR TEMPLE AND TELL YOU HE LOVES YOU WHILE YOURE JUST MINDING YOUR OWN BUSINESS AND THEN WALK BACK OUT LIKE HIS BUSINESS WAS FINISHED???? FYO WHO WILL WALK UP BEHIND YOU WHILE YOU'RE COOKING OR DOING CHORES AND JUST BACKHUG YOU AND STAY LIKE THAT FOR THE NEXT HUNDRED BEATS???????? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH

i think it definitely wldve taken a while for him to adjust tho. just imagining him at the very start of ur relationship when u both were just silly little college students and you would put your arms around him for a hug and he would just STIFFEN COMPLETELY and not know how to respond... BUT HE GOT THERE IN THE END OKAY!!

i think i may go as far as to argue that he will be the one initiating most of it now... although that's not to say you don't do any of it, because you most definitely do.

i think his favourite is your hugs :(( although i don't think he would ever say that outloud..

householding.

he doesn't like it when you do chores. like he REALLY REALLY doesn't like it...

when you first started living together (before marriage), and he would find you washing dishes, he would just silently come beside you and bump you out of the way and take over without a word LMAOOO

he has gotten more used to it however,, considering the fact that he, unfortunately for him, cannot princess you for every waking hour... he still doesn't love it though. he would much rather you sit there and look pretty and not raise a fingertip.

cooking is an exception though, because he likes doing it with you :((

BUT NO KNIVES AND ESPECIALLY NO CHEESE GRATERS AFTER THAT ONE TIME YOU ACCIDENTALLY CUT YOUR FINGER GRATING A CARROT...

you get to do the fun stuff though, like measuring the ingredients and mixing them all together. i really don't think he's that vocal though, he'll just kinda do him part and then nudge the bowl towards you silently like 'its ur turn do ur thing'

he loves that you're talking your ass of the entire time, something about it feels so endearing to him... the whole time he'll just be giving you small, half-sentences like...

'FYOOOO THE BATTER IS ON MY SHIRTTTTTT!!!'

'that's why i tried to roll up your sleeves earlier, darling...'

'ITS GOING TO STAIN!!!!!!!!!!'

'just... we can just wash it off...'

'HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO MEEEEE!?!?!?!?!'

'uhm... you have something on the-'

'AAAAAAAAA ITS ON THE FRONT'

'i told you to wear an apron...'

healing.

when you're sick, he's gone complete caretaker mode... he will NOT allow you to get up from your resting space (whether it be the bed, or the sofa), NO MATTER WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES.

he'll cook you very good meals!! making sure they're healthy for you and also extremely tasty so that he can try to coax you back into your appetite and get you the nutrients you need to get better :(( carries you your meals on a little lap desk, and will spoon-feed you each bite until you've had enough, AND ONLY UNTIL YOU'VE HAD ENOUGH!

he's just overall very gentle with you :((

you've lost your appetite and can't have anymore than half of the portion he cooked for you?? 'it's alright love, i'll save it for later.'

your blocked nose is keeping you up and you haven't been able to sleep the entire night because of it?? 'oh, milaya, why didn't you tell me sooner?' before he gets you some nose drops and then rocks you to sleep in his arms.

you're sad because you can't go out for date night like the two of you planned for anymore?? THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN'T HAVE A GOOD NIGHT IN EACH OTHER'S COMPANY!! ITS GO FISH TIME!!!! (yes he will use his expensive playing cards to play go fish with you just to make you feel better he's THAT devoted)

de-stressing.

those nights when you're both stressed and tired and overstimulated out of your minds are strangely enough, your favourite nights, because you know that you'll be able to come home to your loving husband and disappear into his warmth...

you get home a little earlier than he does, so you take the opportunity to warm the bed, as you wait for him to arrive with your mandatory de-stress-cuddles, and before you know it, you're drifting off...

until you're awoken again by the feel of the warm covers gliding against your skin, and the mattress shifting slightly beneath you, opening your eyes to see ITS YOUR PACKAGE!!! ITS HERE!!!!!

you both don't waste any time and practically envelope each other with warmth take a few moments to situate yourselves, mumbling a few croaky 'i love you's before completely falling asleep.

you'll pay for sleeping in your uncomfortable work clothes when the two of you wake up again around three in the morning and decide to FINALLY shower... and then go back to bed.

a/n. hehe first post on this acc yayayay!! hope these were good :)) i'm so inlove with him oh my lord... N E WAYS REBLOGS ARE APPRECIATED !!!

#꒰ 🏷️ ꒱ fic !#fyodor dostoevsky #bsd fyodor #fyodor dostoyevsky bsd #bungou stray dogs fyodor #fyodor fluff #fyodor x reader #fyodor imagines #fyodor bsd #fyodor bungou stray dogs #bungou stray dogs #bungou gay dogs #bungou stray dogs imagines #bsd headcannons #bsd imagines #fyodor headcannons

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horanghaeluvsinniehae · 10 months ago

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PRE-DEBUT SKZ X 9TH GN!MEMBER PT.2 Pairing:stray kids x gn!member

Disclaimer: anxiety, bit of negative thoughts, mention of food(ramen and tteokbokki)(if i missed anything please tell me!)

previous/\next

You stared at the last message you got from Chan…you were so excited but very nervous at the same time to meet them all, meet your group.

You know that it’s going to be a bit harder to get used to the boys because they’re already bonded and know each other…but what eases your overthinking is that you’ll be debuting together and will share those memories with each other.

You put your phone down to go get changed out of your practice clothes. After you were in presentable clothes you washed your face. Looked at your phone and realised you had to get going. The last thing you wanted was for your first impression to be that you’re late… After picking up your backpack and ensuring you don't leave anything behind, you made your way to the elevator.

Stepping into the elevator you took a deep breath and pushed the button to take you down to the lobby. Standing in the lift you start overthinking this whole situation and whether it’ll go well or not. You’re so deep in these thoughts that you don’t realise that the lift stopped and other people got on too.

You bow and greet the group, but you don’t look up at them properly. They greet you too and push the same button as you already had pushed.

“Chan hyung, are you not nervous to meet y/n?” Asked one of the taller ones looking at a boy with dirty blonde hair and a soft smile.

You completely froze after you heard your name. Your brain started to figure out what you should do, but your mouth spoke faster than your brain could think of anything appropriate…

“Hi um, I'm y/n…are you Stray Kids? It’s so nice to meet you guys I'm so excited-“ After you realised what you were doing you stopped talking and looked down very embarrassed while mumbling sorry a couple thousand times.

“Oooh y/n! Gosh so nice to meet you!! And yeah we’re Stray Kids! Im Bang Chan, you were texting with me and I'm the leader, it’s so nice to meet you!” Said Chan excitedly while putting his hand out to shake your hand.

You shyly took his hand and bowed again while still very much embarrassed. Luckily for you, the elevator dinged again indicating that you arrived at your original meeting place. You got out and Chan led you all to the sofas in the lobby.

“Okay so kids this is y/n and they’ll be our new member from now on!” Chan said introducing you to the rest. “Y/nah can you say something about yourself please?” Chan looked at you and you nodded at him nervously.

“Um hi, I’m Choi y/n, 16 years old and I trained at Hybe for a year and a half but then got sent away and started as a trainee at Jype! I have two older brothers and they live in Daejeon with my parents. I’m so excited to be in a group with you guys and I hope you don’t mind me joining like this…” You said and looked at your feet anxiously.

“Of course, we don’t mind! By the way Y/n, do you speak any other languages or just Korean?” Chan asks and a small boy with blondish hair perks up at the mention of English.

“I speak English almost fluently and a bit of Japanese but I understand more than I speak though…” You said and the small boy from earlier looked back at Chan with an enthusiastic smile.

“That’s so awesome! Okay so let me introduce my members!” Chan said and started introducing everyone.

You learnt that Chan is from Australia, and so is Felix, the small boy who earlier was looking at Chan very happily while speaking of English. He’s still learning Korean and can only understand Chan properly, but now that you’re here he can talk to someone else too.

Then there’s Minho, Changbin, Hyunjin, Jisung, Felix, Seungmin and Jeonging who’s now the ex maknae because you’re a year younger. Everyone seems so kind and just a bunch of bubbles of energy. You memorised their names pretty quickly and after the small introduction, you walked to the dorms, which is approximately a fifteen-minute walk from the company building.

While you were walking there you tried to get used to the boys and how they behave. Even though you were exhausted from your earlier practice and were anxious to meet them, they were easy to get along with and one by one your worries slowly started to disappear.

You were just walking and observing your new members and how they banter with each other with an amused smile when someone tapped your shoulder.

“Hey, Y/n! I hope you will be able to feel at home in the dorms and with us too!” Said Felix and smiled at you brightly.

You smiled back at him and thanked him for being kind. Couple minutes went by and you arrived at the dorms. It wasn’t anything big, but just enough for the nine of you.

It has four decent sized bedrooms so that means two people per room. Had two bathrooms which is a bit rough as you heard from the boys but it is what it is. Also a big living room and an open kitchen. It looked cozy and you liked it a lot!!

After the dorm tour Minho went into the kitchen to prepare some ramen with tteokboki for lunch for everyone . Jisung went after him to help and the rest of you guys got comfortable on the couch.

“Y/n do you know what position they’re gonna put you as?” Asked Jeongin while looking at you.

“Um if I know right I’ll be lead dancer.” You told him.

“Woaah then get ready because Minho hyung will be strict with you! He’s our main dancer.” Said Felix and giggled next to Jeongin. You smiled too, getting excited at the thought of being a full member now and having the same schedules.

You feel so happy that they’re asking you questions and not pushing you away. They’re very kind and accepting and you already love that.

A/N: hi guys! I hope this satisfied your expectations!! Please tell me your thoughts on it!! Take care of yourselves and be safe please!!

#ot8 skz #ot8 x reader #skz #stray kids #skz jeongin #skz seungmin #skz han #skz changbin #skz felix #skz hyunjin #skz bang chan #skz lee know #skz fluff #skz imagines #skz x reader #stray kids fluff #stray kids x reader #stray kids imagines #straykids

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medstudydiary · 3 months ago

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Study tips I wish I knew and followed sooner

15/8/2024

Hello everyone! I haven’t posed for a while because I was preparing this post. I’m so excited to share it!!!

Here I collected everything I was able to think about study tips. Obviously these are things that work for me so it’s absolutely okay if different things work for you, maybe share them in the comments so we can help and inspire each other🌸

I’ll maybe update the list as I learn more tips, or if you prefer I can collect new tips in a part two or give each tip a post, again let me now in the comments what you’d prefer💕

Less is more when underlining. Do use highlighter for key words, than circle words of secondary importance and underline something else. Absolutely do not underline/highlight/circle everything you’ll study, just those words that will help you remember the rest of that paragraph. It can help to use different colours but only when there are lists or categories because it helps you remember things as distinguished from one another. But I wouldn’t go crazy with colours in other situations

Take notes during lectures just to follow the explanation. Unless the subject is really easy and it’s fast to summarise it (which is usually the case in high school but not really in university), do NOT turn those notes into the thing you’ll study from or you’ll end up summarising the whole book and rewriting your notes to make them more pleasant and understandable. Just let yourself be messy if needed and use them to pay attention during class and to write things you didn’t understand or connections you want to explicitly see on paper. Paying attention in class really does pay off because you’ve already been exposed to the material before you actually study it

Start as early as possible, do not procrastinate until it’s gonna be really hard to prepare the exam. The pain of studying is better than the pain of regret in my opinion. Plus, you’ll be at peace and relaxed during exam season too when everyone else will be panicking because you won’t feel behind in your work

Get ready to study. Make yourself pretty. You can have everything, if you’re dressed for it. You don’t need to be uncomfortable with heels or anything like that, but wear something that makes you feel confident and determined

Moving your body before studying or during a break can help you be more present and remove brain fog. A simple walk outside really does the trick for me, it doesn’t need to be anything intense

Do not set an amount of pages to study per day as a goal at first. The first days just study for a chosen amount of hours and see how many pages you get to do a day of that particularly subject. Than you’ll be able to choose a realistic daily goal of pages to study. That’s because not every subject is the same and maybe you’d be setting unrealistic daily goals that will just demotivate you. This is why it’s important to start early: you get to find your rhythm for studying that subject and if it’s just 15 pages a day you’ll be able to do so without stressing

Give yourself a week or two depending on you and the exam of just revising before an exam. It’s important so that if you have days where you can’t function because of anxiety or if you need to clarify things you can do that without stressing

If the exam requires exercising, start practicing as soon as possible

If you only have a multiple choice kind of exam, memorise through quizzing yourself and exercises if needed

If the exam is (also) oral, you should (also) practice talking from the start by studying out loud

Sit in front of the class during lectures to pay attention better

Paper>digital because digital screens cause bad eyesight, digital things can get you distracted and because as you proceed on paper you’ll turn pages and you’ll get the feeling of progressing while seeing yourself going further in the book

Do not compare. Not everyone has the same strengths nor experience to get the same performance. But with discipline you can still get the same results, or even better

Study with a friend. You don’t neeed to study out loud together, the company is enough motivation because you feel accountable for one another and that stimulates you to do better. Plus, breaks are much more fulfilling and actually resting because you talk to another human being instead of going on your phone

Removing distractions means out of sight out of mind. Do not just turn off your phone and let it on the desk. Move it to another room and leave it there

Discipline is like a muscle. Resist the urge to do something else (checking your phone, watching Netflix, going to eat something, …). Acknowledge the urge and just stop yourself from satisfying it. If you can’t concentrate either, that’s okay. Just sit still without doing anything until the urge passes, then you can go back to studying with more concentration

Kill the fear whilst it’s small. Don’t procrastinate, instead face your challenges as soon as you can. The only way out is through

Talk to someone if you need help. If you need someone to check in on you, ask your roommate or relatives. If you didn’t understand something, ask the professor or your classmates. If you need emotional support, talk to the people close to you. It really does help

Go to the exam. Even if everything tells you that you’ll fail. Because you never know if you get lucky and only get asked the things you know. It happened to me quite a few times. The worst thing that can happen is that you have to do the exam again, the best is that you passed the exam. You never lose

Positive attitude and responsibility are key. Find the positive thing in every situation and realise that you have a huge responsibility in preparing for exams. You can’t control everything, but you can control the work you put into the preparation and that’s amazing because nobody can take that from you

There’s not a right time for anything. There’s just time and what you do with it. If it’s 5:17 pm you don’t need to wait until 5:30 pm to start studying. Just count to three and start. Do not look for the best time to study on the internet. Some people will tell you it’s 6 am, others will tell you something different. Listen to your body and pay attention to your mind. When are you the most concentrated? Than handle the day according to that. When you are the most active and concentrated you should study new material. When you are still energised but less focused, you should revise previous work and/or practice it

Sport, friends, family, hobbies and sleep are not a plus but a must. They have been a plus for me for so many years and I’ve been burnt out for almost a year. You need to take that hour or half hour to workout, preferably outside so you get that vitamin D. You need to see friends and family to avoid isolation. You need hobbies to feel rewarded for your hard work. You need to sleep because during sleep you strengthen neuronal patterns about the things you’ve studied, and sleeping helps you lower cortisol which is the stress hormone and keeping high levels of it is really bad and counterproductive. You need to balance everything because you gotta avoid at all costs chronic stress

Fear of failure is such a useless thing. It freezes you and makes you feel like the world is gonna explode if you fail. That’s bullshit of course. You are so much more than what you fail in, especially if you put in the work anyway. Don’t worry about how many times you fall, because the real difference is made by how many times you get up and try again. Fail, then fail better. Until you get it. Who cares? And even if someone does care, it’s their problem. As long as you are trying, you’re doing progress because remember that little progress is still progress. To worry less about failing, do the things you’re scared to fail at. If you fail, you’ll realise nothing bad really happens. And if you succeed, you’ll surprise yourself. Doubt kills way more opportunities than failure ever will, remember that

Be careful who you surround yourself with. If you are already really well organised and following a balanced lifestyle, then stay with whoever you like. But if you’re working on your lifestyle and don’t feel really productive nor satisfied with it yet, surround yourself with people who do have the lifestyle you’re looking for. That’s because when you’re still working on it you’re more likely to pick up habits from those around you

Be honest with yourself. Was the professor really a dick or did you not study that topic? Do you really need to rest are do you just want to avoid the work? Will you be able to do the work you wanted to if you go out right now? Telling yourself excuses makes you accumulate feelings of rage and subconscious disappointment and you enter the victim mentality instead of taking accountability and realising you can do a lot to change a situation. If you tell yourself excuses you’ll end up not trusting yourself and that’s so hard to fix

Often what people say about a professor is completely subjective, usually because they’ve had a bad experience with her/him and therefore want (usually subconsciously) to scare other students by sharing it. So you never really know if they are lying so that you have a bad experience with that teacher too, or maybe they deserved that strict treatments because they were rude and unprepared, … You really never know until you experience it first hand. Do ask many students and go attend to other people’s exam if possible so that you get an idea of who the professor is and how he structures the exam, make sure to listen to more opinions and never take them for granted. Know that everything might be biased

Take advices, but remember that many people want to see you do good, but never better than them. This doesn’t apply for everyone of course, but to many people yes

Pomodoro technique or deep work? Who fucking knows honestly lmao. Not everything will have the same rhythm and difficulty. For some topics or subjects you’ll have a headache after one hour trying to understand two pages. For others you’ll study without stopping for four hours because everything will seem to just be clear to you and to be sticking to your brain. Don’t follow a rule, just start and have a break when you’re struggling to fit in other informations

What you eat matters. Light meals to avoid feeling sleepy right afterwards help you study right after eating. Water keeps your brain in shape. Proteins keep you full and carbs keep you going. Sugar is tricky because it gives you energy right away but after little time you’ll need more, leading you to eating too much sugar and feeling foggy. Prefer healthy carbs instead of sugar (do eat some sugary treats if you want of course lol) like rice to have a more sustained energy release and mental clarity. These are the things that work for me anyway, you can experiment and see if you work better when eating many small meals or fewer big meals. Everyone is different and I’m not a nutritionist so listen to your body and try to be healthy

Celebrate small victories

Realistic goals please. Wanting to study 100 pages everyday is usually pretty unrealistic in a healthy and even in an unhealthy lifestyle. Not achieving your goals makes you feel like you can’t trust nor rely on yourself and that demotivates you

To focus try to think about the material. Read a sentence and tell yourself what it’s explaining you. Associate it with other things you’ve studied or experienced. Create little stories into your mind to remember a series of events. Anagrams for lists of names. Highlight, circle and underline as explained in one of the first points. Even give titles to paragraphs if you need to. Do this things with your own words and if you need to write them, do it right next to the paragraph. If you do these things you can’t think about something else because these require effort and attention. This a called active studying because you’re not passively reading and highlighting or repeating word for word without understanding but you’re really absorbing what you’re studying

Revise things constantly. Not a week later, but the next day. And if the next day you still don’t feel like you’ve memorised it, repeat it again the following day. If you remember it, repeat it 3 or 5 or 7 days later based on how much you retain things and how much you feel like you’ve memorised it. And after you’ve reached one week, keep repeating based on your needs. This is absolutely a game changer otherwise one or two weeks before the exam when you’ll want to revise everything again, you’ll realise you’ll have to study again a lot of things because you haven’t revised then. Such a waste! This is called spaced repetition, but instead of telling you a specific technique, I believe you need to listen to yourself and realise how much you’ve retained something to understand when to revise it again. Not every topic is the same and not everything you’ve memorised is relevant to you, so some things require more repetition than others and it’s up to you to see when it’s more for. But be honest with yourself, don’t tell yourself you know something just because you don’t want to revise. Reading again something is not revising it because just because it will feel familiar, doesn’t mean you’re able to talk about it completely recalling from memory. It’s important for you to repeat from memory, even if you struggle and feel like you don’t remember. Give yourself more credit and try to remember for at least 10 seconds before peeking on the book

Have something you enjoy while studying. It can be music (only music that does NOT have lyrics like lofi music or rain), a cup of tea, a candle, …

Switch up the location if you can’t focus

You don’t need a thousand pens, notebooks and colours to be productive and organised, but I believe it’s not a bad idea to have a different notebook for each subject where you take notes and write diagrams or whatever you need to better comprehend that subject

#med studyblr #study aesthetic #study blog #study inspiration #study motivation #study notes #studyblr #studying #studyspo #medicine #med school #med student #study tips #study tumblr #study techniques #student #study together

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starrgaziinggg · 10 months ago

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wherefore art thou romeo | yang jeongin

SCENE ONE ・❥・ break a leg (6k words)

directory

SCENE ONE ・❥・ ACT ONE

"If you don't start enunciating your words, I'm going to bite you."

You give Jeongin a nasty look, rolling your eyes at him from where he sat behind the counter. Unfortunately, before you could get the chance to offer a sharp tongued rebuttal, two customers walk up to you, hand in hand.

"Two tickets for, Last Christmas, please!" The woman in front of you says gleefully whilst her partner kisses her on the check. Oh, how naive, you thought, knowing that in the movie, the main love interest is actually dead the whole time. You'd been through the trauma of watching the movie yourself, so you could understand the pain they'd be in, in approximately an hour and forty five minutes.

"Here you go," you say, plastering a fake smile on your face as you hand over the tickets, turning back to Jeongin once they leave. The best thing about working in a cinema? Minimal customer interaction. Plus, as a film geek, you got 50% off movie tickets, which meant you and your coworkers spent as much time in the cinema chairs as you did cleaning them.

"Better yet," Jeongin continues, grinning up at you from where he sat on a stool, leaning against the back wall. "Every time you mumble, I'll throw a piece of popcorn at you."

"I'll just catch it in my mouth, dipshit," you tease, sticking your tongue out at him as you pick up your script again. As much as Jeongin was an absolute nuisance, he was helping you prepare for your audition tomorrow, so you couldn't be too annoyed with him.

"Oh yeah? You really think you've got that level of coordination?" He teases more. "Might I remind you, you're the same kid that tripped over every hurdle at sports day circa five years ago."

You huff, fully turning around to lean against the counter as you eyed the boy below you. He was grinning up at you, his perfect teeth gleaming as he pushed some of his dark hair out his eyes.

"Shut up," you huff, folding your arms over your chest. "Can you actually be constructive with your criticisms instead of just bullying me?"

Jeongin laughs at you, shaking his head and pouting. "Come on," he tilts his head at you, waving the script he was holding in front of you. "These lines aren't going to memorise themselves."

You sigh, knowing he's right. You didn't usually get nervous over auditions, since you were more than used to them by now. You'd been acting since you were a toddler, whether that be putting on shows for your family or in your local theatre group, and you had the confidence to soar through them, but this was different. Going to a prestigious school for the arts meant competition for the top roles was more than tough, and your end of year performance was the most important and well attended production each year.

Romeo and Juliet, was this years choice. Sure, it was only because your head of department had just recently got engaged and made her sappy love life everyone's business, but you actually loved the play, so you weren't mad about it. And, of course, you were trying out for the part of Juliet.

"Romeo can, Though heaven cannot," Jeongin starts, putting on a girly voice as he pretends to act as Juliet's nurse for the chosen audition scene. "O Romeo, Romeo, Whoever would have thought it? Romeo!"

You have to admit, you loved practicing with him. Jeongin, being on the same acting course as you, was amazing at performing, and put his all into it every time - even if it was just a silly practice audition.

You laugh as you begin your line, trying to remember your monologue without a script. "What devil art thou that dost torment me thus? This torture should be roared in dismal hell. Hath Romeo slain himself? Say thou but "Ay," And that bare vowel "I" shall poison more...than...than-"

"Than the death-darting eye of cockatrice. I am not I if there be such an "I," Or those eyes shut that makes thee answer "Ay." If he be slain, say "Ay," or if not, "No." Brief sounds determine my weal or woe," Jeongin finishes the part you couldn't remember for you, reading directly from the script in a whimsical voice as you sigh.

"Why did they choose the original play script," you whine, grabbing the script off Jeongin to reread the line. "Surely they could have adapted the language to make it easier to learn. I feel like I'm summoning serpents right now."

Jeongin laughs at your dismay, shrugging his shoulders as he stands up to deal with the group of customers he sees walking in and letting you have time to look over your script. "I dunno, I like the original. That bullshit Di Caprio version - you know, the movie with the guns - that sucked. It was all over the place; you can't have them speaking Elizabethan English and then make them shoot each other in the street and drive sports cars."

You give the back of his head a smile as he serves the customers, giving over their tickets and making up their popcorn. It was just the two of you on shift tonight until the cinema you worked at closed at 12, which you didn't mind at all since Jeongin could help you with you with your lines. That, and the fact that out of your friends, he was the most calm - which was saying something, because Jeongin was loud for an introvert.

"I liked the movie," you say once the customers leave, Jeongin coming over to stand beside you. "I thought it was an interesting take."

"You just fancy young Leo," Jeongin points out, making you scoff and push his shoulder. "Don't even pretend you don't! I was sat beside you in the lecture hall when we watched it for our extra curricular last semester and I watched you physically drool when he showed face."

You frown, knowing he's exactly right. The fact you were slightly infatuated with young Leonardo Di Caprio was not a secret.

"Oh, look how handsome he is," Jeongin continues to tease, pretending to be you fawning. "He looks like a dream!"

"Oh, come on," you laugh, using a phrase you'd picked up from Felix. Working with your best friends meant you'd adopted a lot of their habits, which you'd only realised when Felix had pointed it out. "I wasn't that bad."

"You didn't have to sit beside you."

You stick your tongue out at him, picking up your script again. "Are you not more nervous? Considering you're also auditioning tomorrow?"

Jeongin shrugs, manoeuvring so that he's facing you and gently tapping your feet with his. "Not really. I'm auditioning for multiple parts so I don't really mind what I get."

"Are you going for Romeo?" You ask him, glad the conversation has turned somewhat serious.

He nods, frowning. "Yeah, don't see why not. The more parts I go for the more options I have. You must be pretty dead set on playing Juliet if you're only auditioning for her."

You can't help but to feel nervous, knowing that you were taking a risk by only going for the role of Juliet. Jeongin seems to notice this, though, moving his face so that you look at him and giving you a smile.

"Hey, I'm sure you'll get it," he says, before breaking out into a cheeky grin. "If you remember your lines, that is."

You wish you could be annoyed at him, but you appreciate how he tries to keep the situation lighthearted. You'd always appreciated that of him. He was good at reading a room, and knew how to dissolve tension. It came in clutch when you and Jisung got into a tiff about god knows what whilst you worked together.

Jisung's parents owning the local cinema you worked at meant he liked to, well, not do his job, which you could get pretty annoyed at as much as you loved your friend. There was perks with working with your friends, but there were also downfalls, such as Jisung refusing to do certain tasks.

Jeongin snaps you out of your thoughts, taking the script back from you.

"You're going to do your own head in if you keep going over it," he points out. "Remember that one time when we were auditioning for that play in middle school and you memorised the script so much you started saying other people's lines out loud?"

You laugh at the memory. "That witch of a teacher shouted at me in front of everyone. It was so embarrassing."

"Mhm," Jeongin hums, tilting his head at you. "That's why you should put this down for a bit."

"The only thing worse than over-knowing your lines is not knowing them at all," you groan, stretching your limbs and rolling your eyes at a group of teen girls talking way too loudly for 10pm. Jeongin senses your discomfort and deals with them, unaware of the looks they all give him. Working with Jeongin so often, you'd come to realise he didn't know how handsome he was, evident when he let flirtatious opportunities go amiss. He'd been like that since you'd met him in middle school, though.

You'd first met when the two local middle schools in your area moved into the new, larger and more modern school that had been built to allow the two older buildings be knocked down. After the awkward tension between the two different school groups in one classroom dissolved, your friend group (consisting of you, Yunjin, Jisung and Minho) collided naturally with Jeongin's. Hyunjin, Felix, Seungmin and Jeongin merged well with you and your friends, and thus your new, much larger group was formed.

"Enjoy the movie," Jeongin smiles, finishing up with the group of girls.

"Oh, we will," a particularly bold girl says, turning away with their giggling friends. Jeongin turns to you with a raised eyebrow.

"What was that about?" he questions sincerely, coming back to lean against the wall with you. You shake your head in response.

"You're so niave," you chuckle, knowing even if you tried to explain to him why those girls were so giggly around him, he probably wouldn't understand anyway. "Now please help me memorise these lines."

"Nope," Jeongin says lazily, running a hand throw his curly black hair. "You're done for the night."

You grown for what feels like the millionth time of the night. "We've still got two hours before our shifts end. What the hell else am I gonna do?"

"Hang out with me," Jeongin replies, turning to face you, a smile etching his eternally happy face. "We never just talk about normal stuff anymore. It's always about uni."

"Yeah, well, our lives revolve around it, now."

Jeongin seems as though he doesn't like your answer, scoffing and hitting his shoes off of yours. "I know but - come on, surely you've got some gossip for me."

"Jeongin, we have all the same friends!" You laugh, shaking your head. "If I have any gossip I'm pretty sure you'll know it, too."

"Well how about this," he says, turning fully to face you. "Did you know that Jisung and Yunjin had a thing for each other back in middle school, but neither of them acted on it?"

Your jaw almost drops. Yunjin, your best friends since infantry, had never once divulged this interesting piece of information to you. Plus, Ji and Yunjin were your friends before they were Jeongin's, and it felt wrong that he knew more about them than you.

"How the fuck do you know that?" You ask in disbelief. Jeongin only taps his nose.

"Trade secret," he says ominously, so you lightly punch him on the shoulder. He giggles, pretending to stumble backwards. "Okay okay, Jisung told me at the time and Yunjin told me when she was drunk a few months ago."

You sigh, promising yourself to bring it up to Yunjin when you go back to your dorm later. "Why does everyone tell you their secrets when they're drunk? Nobody tells me anything."

"Cause you're a blabbermouth," Jeongin says with no hesitation, so you give him a look. "What? You have been since middle school. I told you I had a crush on Yeji and you told everyone."

You huff, remembering the event. You were only, like, thirteen in all fairness, but you did feel bad about it even after all this time. Jeongin didn't speak to you for weeks after Yeji shut him down.

"I apologised for that a million times, I didn't even mean to let it slip!"

"Yeah, well," Jeongin rolls his eyes. "I'm still mad at you."

You give him a grin, knowing he's completely lying, and he can't help but crack a smile right back at you.

"See? Isn't this nice?" He says, his eyes glistening from the overhead light. "We've not talked casually like this in ages."

"Aw, are you missing our conversations, Jeong?" You laugh, reaching over to shake his shoulder. He swipes you away, always hating physical affection, laughing.

"I wouldn't go as far as to say I was missing it, but I do enjoy talking to you about non school or work related things," he says honestly, and you can't help but nod your head in agreement.

Once the movies let out around the same time, all you and Jeongin have to do is clean the two theatres, make sure everything is prepared for the day staff tomorrow and lock up. It doesn't take you too long, and Jeongin connects to the speaker system to play his music, which passes the time even quicker.

You're exhausted by the time Jeongin locks the back door, pocketing the keys and leading you to his car. He'd saved up for months to pay for it, claiming he was fed up with Jisung driving him around like a maniac.

"Fifteen minute drive home," Jeongin says out loud, pulling up the maps on his phone despite knowing the route back to the on campus dorms. "You should go for a nap, you look tired."

"Thanks, Jeong," you say with a roll of your eyes, getting yourself comfortable in the passengers seat.

"Not like that," he says lazily, looking behind him as he pulls out of his parking space. "Here, I'll even crank up the heating like you enjoy. I'm sacrificing my own comfort for you, here."

You give him a fake smile, unable to help yourself from curling up as soon as you feel the heat blast your face. Jeongin's body temperature was always much warmer than yours, so you'd always fought about the heat of the car when you were the passenger.

It's not long until you arrive back to the dorms, Jeongin having to gently push you awake after you'd drifted off. He stops off at your dorm first, of course, halting right outside the door. He roomed with Seungmin, Felix and Hyunjin five minutes away whilst you shared with Yunjin and two girls you weren't all that close with. Jisung and Minho had moved into their own flat a month ago.

"If you're not fast asleep in the next ten minutes I'm coming over and forcing you," he says, his face serious, and you know he's only half joking. "Get a good sleep for tomorrow and you'll be fine."

"Same goes for you," you say, stretching your limbs as you open the car door. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

"See you tomorrow," he firms with a nod, giving you a grin after and starting the car as soon as he watches you open the main door to your dorm building.

Yunjin's already dead asleep in her room when you go in, which leads you to crash in your own bed as soon as you've finished brushing your teeth and changing out of your work uniform, the script pages of Romeo and Juliet floating around in your mind.

SCENE ONE ・❥・ ACT TWO

When the time flashes on your phone reading 9:46am, it doesn't compute in your brain that you've slept in. It's not until you hear Yunjin banging on your door, shocking you out of your system and causing you to jump up in terror, that the realisation hits you.

You've slept in. On audition day.

Despite remembering setting your alarm for 8 sharp, you were fourteen minutes away from missing the auditions and getting stuck as a background actor. You fling open your door, revealing a panicked Yunjin on the other side.

"Did you -"

"Yes, I know I've slept in!" You answer, leaving the door open and turning to get changed out of your pajamas at lightening speed.

"And you -"

"Auditions start at ten, I'm fully away," you rush out, able to practically read Yunjin's mind at this point. You'd laugh if you weren't so stressed.

"Jesus, you're giving me so much stress right now," she says, taking a deep breath in and out. "I'll make you a coffee and you'll be out the door with time to spare, okay?"

"Okay!" You shout back, pulling a hairbrush through your hair as Yunjin hurries through to the kitchen.

Thankfully, within five minutes, you look somewhat presentable. You grab your black uni bag, containing your script and other necessities, before scrambling to the kitchen and taking the coffee Yunjin has made you in your favourite travel cup.

"Good luck!" Is the last thing you hear her shout, giving her a hasty thumbs up as you flee out of your dorm building and practically run towards the theatre building, where the auditions were being held.

Luckily, the theatre building was only a five minute walk away from your dorm, so you managed to get there just in time. Everyone from your course was gathered in the hallway, and you spot Jeongin talking to some of his friends by the entrance.

You're huffing and puffing as you walk up to him, resting your hand on his shoulder as you fold over, breathing in and out heavily. He turns around, his eyes widening.

"You slept in," he says instantly, and all you can do is nod. He chuckles, moving himself to face you fully and abandoning his conversation with the guys behind him. "You're such an idiot. I was about to come and break your door down."

"Yeah, well, I've made it," you breath out, standing up right and taking your hand away.

"Thankfully," he says, tilting his head and giving you a smile. "You have two different shoes on, by the way."

You look down, and of course he's right. One black converse and one blue. Groaning, you slump against the wall behind you.

"Have you seen the audition schedule?" You ask, knowing they put out a list of who will audition in what order. There was about fifty or so people on your course, so auditions usually took most of the day, but once you were finished you could go home.

"Yeah, and you're one of the first people to audition, so you're lucky you made it in time."

"Of course I am," you say, knowing it's just your luck. "When's yours?"

"I'm a couple people after you. They say the auditions should finish around 4pm, then roles will be released around 8pm," Jeongin explains. Usually, you're not nervous about auditioning, but since you were going for the main lead, the stakes were high.

Jeongin gives you a nudge. "Don't be nervous," he says, as if able to read your mind. "You'll be great. You've practiced more than enough."

"I know, but still. I really want this part," you say honestly, and he nods knowing exactly how you feel.

"We'll try our best," he says, tilting his head with a grin, his dimples showing. "And I tell you what - no matter what parts we get, I'll get the guys together later for a drink and we can celebrate."

"Or drown our sorrows," you say, which he laughs at. Your conversation is interrupted, though, as your head lecturer comes out to bring the first person in for their audition. Everyone starts to sit down, knowing they'll be waiting around for a while.

Jeongin and you sit cross legged on the floor, going over your lines until you're called in for your audition. He gives you a grin and a thumbs up as you leave, which surprisingly seems to settle your nerves.

Taking a deep breath, you follow one of the student advisors who helped with the audition process through to the large stage room, where the auditions were being held.

Although it was your third year of university and you'd been in this room numerous times, a shiver ran down your spine at the thought of auditioning. Like a true professional, however, you walked with an aura of confidence; standing on the black 'X' taped onto the floor in front of the panel of lecturers assessing your audition.

"You may begin when you're ready," your head lecturer states with a smile, nodding her head at you. With the countless study sessions you've done of the Juliet audition script, you're able to recite your lines with ease, it all flowing back to you in the heat of the moment.

Acting is second nature to you. It had been since you were a kid, putting on performances for your family. It continued through middle school, as you signed up to every school play and scored the lead in every single one. And it shined now, as you spoke your lines out perfectly.

You finish your audition feeling as though you couldn't have tried harder, which was all you wanted. Of course, you realised you wouldn't get the lead role in everything, but there was something so captivating about playing Juliet - you just had to get this role.

Your head lecturer, Miss Choi, smiles at you warmly as you bow, a standard practice after auditioning. She doesn't say anything but nods her head as if to say, 'you may leave.' The audition process of your university was something you'd become very aware of - you knew your lecturers would not be allowed to give any indication of who got what roles until they posted the notice in a few hours.

So, you left the exam hall, feeling all eyes on you as you exited. You walk up to Jeongin instantly with a small smile on your face, not wanting to boast about how well your audition had gone in front of your peers.

"So?" He asks quietly, patting the space next to him as you crouch down against the wall and plant yourself beside him.

"It went well," you whisper, leaning in so that those around you can't hear. People are chatting, but there's a quiet and antsy aura surrounding the hallway space, so you don't take any chances.

"Of course it did," Jeongin says with no distaste to his tone, a grin lighting up his features. "I'm pleased for you!"

You knew he would be as he always is. It was one of the reasons you got along so well - being the only two of your friend group to be interested in acting in middle school caused you to instantly click, but what solidified your friendship was the fact that no matter who got what role, say Jeongin got a 'better' part than you, there was never any controversy between the two of you. You were always genuinely happy for each other.

You help Jeongin go over his lines as the next few auditions go by, listening intently as he says his audition piece. He was such a captivating performer, and you truly had no doubts in him getting the lead. You might have been biased, since he was one of your best friends, but you felt he fit the role of Romeo better than anyone else on your course.

As soon as his name is called, he stands up, throwing you a smile as he enters the hall. You wait patiently for him, scrolling aimlessly on your phone until he comes out, walking towards you and giving you a hand.

You take it, standing up and heading towards the buildings exit. "So?"

"Went good," he says lazily, holding the door open for you since you were both finished and could now do whatever until the roles were announced.

"Yeah? Remember all your lines?" You tease, walking out into the warm September air. Jeongin playfully shoved your side, watching with a laugh as you stumble, nearly missing someone walking in the opposite direction.

"Yeah, I did," he mocks back with a face. "Now, want to go to Eden or Pod?"

You weigh up the options of the two coffee places on your campus. "Eden," you answer. "It'll be quiet right now."

How mistaken you are. The place in general isn't busy, but you walk in to find Jisung and Felix slumped over a table at the back of the café. They notice you straight away, so after ordering your regular, they force you to sit with them.

"Are we looking at the new lead roles of the end of semester show?" Jisung asks instantly. "Or are we looking at the future owners of the cinema?"

"Shut up, Ji," Felix whines at him, nudging his leg from under the table for mocking you and Jeongin. He turns his attention to you. "Are we, though?"

"Calm down," Jeongin rolls his eyes as he pulls over a chair for you both to join the two boys at their table. "We won't know which roles we get until 8pm."

"Pity," Jisung huffs, moving his chair over slightly so Jeongin can sit beside him. "I was looking forward to hearing about it."

"You'll hear soon enough," you remind him, sitting in your seat beside Felix. "And even if we didn't get the leads, I'm sure we'd manage to find work out with the cinema."

Jisung scoffs, waving his hand. "Why would you want to?" He questions. "Best job on earth. Free popcorn, discounted movies - plus, you get to work with me!"

"The last of those is not a bonus," Jeongin teases, making a face when Jisung gives him his middle finger. "I was thinking, despite which roles we get we could all get together and have a drink tonight?"

"I'm up for that," Felix grins, closing his laptop as if he knows he's not going to be getting anymore work done. "Our dorm?"

"Yeah, if the other guys agree," Jeongin confirms. "I'll text them. You up for it, Jisung?"

"I'm always up to get drunk," he points out, which you all know to be true. "Plus, it's a Friday and I have no plans."

"So we're your last option?" You tease. He gives you a frown.

"Of course you are," he says as if it's obvious, no hesitance. "If I had a gorgeous girl to go and see, you guys wouldn't even be in the equation."

"Maybe you will be seeing a gorgeous girl tonight," you say all knowingly, giving Jisung a wiggle of your eyebrows.

"If you're talking about yourself, you're highly mistaken, and that's gross," he says, grimacing. You only roll your eyes and give Jeongin a smirk which he responds to with a laugh, knowing exactly who you were talking about.

"Why are you guys even here?" Jeongin asks, changing the subject. Felix huffs dramatically, turning his laptop around to show Joengin his work, displaying a word document that he'd written all but ten words on.

"Am I supposed to be looking at something substantial?" Jeongin questions cheekily, raising an eyebrow at Felix with a blank expression.

"It would be substantial if I understood the fucking assignment," Felix groans, turning his laptop back around. "You don't understand how much this course sucks now that I'm on my own."

You ruffle his hair gently, giving him a pouty face. Poor Felix was on the dance course at your school for the arts, which he used to enjoy greatly when Hyunjin was also on the same course.

Unfortunately for him, Hyunjin had switched to an art and design course halfway through last semester, claiming that art was his passion and dance was more of a hobby. Despite his warm aura and bubbly personality, Felix was as quiet as mouse around people he didn't know, thus making it impossible for the boy to make friends on his course. Thus, he's been struggling alone since Hyunjin's departure.

"You guys are so lucky you can do all your schoolwork together," Felix says to you and Jeongin, jealousy making him pout. All you do is shrug and give Jeongin a smile.

"He's not wrong," Jisung adds. "I wish I had someone to help with all my schoolwork."

Jeongin screws his eyebrows up, turning to face Jisung. "You have both Seungmin and Yunjin on your course," he points out, which makes Jisung roll his eyes.

"Seungmin is too goody two shows to ever give me the answers to stuff, and Yunjin is an idiot," he replies nonchalantly. Yunjin, Seungmin and Jisung were on the classical music course at your uni. It was kind of inevitable most of your middle school friend group would end up at a university for the arts, considering you'd grown up with a love for it. The only person from your friend group who didn't attend your university was Minho, who ended up going to a culinary school ten minutes away instead.

"Speaking of, aren't you supposed to be in lectures right now?" you point out, thinking about how you knew Yunjin's schedule and she was definitely in class right now.

"Don't care. Didn't ask," is Jisung's response. You roll your eyes, looking toward Felix. He shrugs.

"We do, but we ditched to write this assignment," Felix responds. Jeongin laughs, shaking his head.

"Good thing you've done a lot," he says sarcastically, which Felix gives him the evils for. Jeongin's phone pings then, which he attends to, pulling out his phone and checking the notifications. "Oh my god!"

"What?" You ask, watching him scan over the contents of the message.

"The auditions are finished," he says, eyes not leaving the screen. You don't have time to stress, since Jisung gives you all a grin.

"Excellent!" He claps his hands. "We will all be drunk when you get the results, so no matter what you get we'll have a good night, right?"

"Right," Jeongin confirms with a smile, flashing you his set of pearly whites. "On that note, we should all probably head and get ready."

"Sounds good to me," Felix sighs, closing his laptop down, ridding himself of the assignment he'd written nothing of. "I can't wait for a drink."

"Ditto," you chuckle, ruffling the boys hair. "We'll see you guys later then?"

"Yes you will," Jisung winks, which you gag at. With a nod toward Jeongin, the two of you leave the coffee shop, walking towards the dorms. The two of you say your farewells when you reach your dorm, making the plan to go to Jeongin's dorm for drinks in two hours.

SCENE ONE ・❥・ ACT THREE

"Look what the cat dragged in!" Minho grins when you and Yunjin walk into the boys dorm. Him and Jisung had arrived before you, clearly, and the boys had already started drinking. You give him a quick hug, letting him ruffle your hair. He gives Yunjin a side hug too, whilst Felix walks up to you both with drinks in his hands.

“Audition went well?” Minho asks as Felix places the cups in yous and Yunjin’s hands, which you gladly accept.

“She only made it by the skin of her teeth,” Yunjin giggles, which you roll your eyes at fondly, laughing when she sticks her tongue out at you.

“I think so,” you respond honestly, smiling when he gives you a thumbs up in response.

“Good, come join us. Hyunjin has Jisung in a headlock,” Minho chuckles, ushering you towards the living area of the dorm.

“Classic,” Yunjin laughs at the scene, in which Hyunjin truly does have Ji in a headlock. “Another bet?”

“Of course,” is Felix’s response. You wave towards Seungmin and Jeongin, the two boys waving back with beers in their hands. “Jisung is refusing to pay up.”

“What was it this time?” You laugh. The two boys were terrible for betting each other about anything and everything, which often ended up in debt and arguments.

“Something about Jisung being unable to ask some girl on a date,” Jeongin answers as he walks towards your group, Seungmin making an attempt to split the two boys up. Yunjin audibly scoffs at that, which you send Jeongin a look for. He shrugs his shoulders with an expression you read as, ‘I told you so.’

“Excuse me,” Jisung intervenes, shooting Hyunjin daggers. “I would have asked her out, but she literally wasn’t in class yesterday! Why would I give him money?”

“Because there was no sub rules stipulating her presence in the university building, all you had to do was ask her out by this morning - you could have sent her a lousy text for all I care,” Hyunjin shoots back nonchalantly, giving the two of you girls a nod hello.

“Wah wah, shut the fuck up the both of you,” Minho yawns, checking his phone. “There’s half an hour until your roles get released, so I say we play a drinking game until then?”

“Sounds good to me,” Seungmin grins, opening up a cupboard and pulling out a deck of cards. “These two are giving me a headache.”

Your drinking game flies by. You’d all created it years ago, the easiest game if all you had was a deck of cards. Everyone was dealt three cards, and the person with the highest score got to direct a question to whoever had the lowest score. You could either answer, or take the number of shots as your lowest card.

The last round, for example, concluded with Hyunjin pulling three kings (which Jisung deemed as cheating, since he dealt), and Yunjin ending up with two twos and a three. Instead of answering the incredibly invasive question Hyunjin had directed her, she’d taken two shots.

It was at that point you noticed it was past 8pm, and a notification pinged on both yours and Jeongin’s phone. You send him a nervous glance as you open it, the beady eyes of your friends watching you both cautiously.

“What did you get?” Seungmin asks, impatient as ever. You can’t hold back the grin the spreads on your face as you read ‘Juliet’ beside your name on the cast list.

“You got Juliet?” Jisung grins back, able to read your face a mile off. You nod, whilst your friends erupt in cheers so loud you can’t even think.

“I got Romeo,” Jeongin says then, increasing the noise tenfold as your friends hug you both, congratulating you on getting the leads. Jeongin hugs you tightly, dimples flashing as he tells you how proud he is. When it’s Yunjin’s turn to squeeze you, she pulls back with a weird look on her face.

“What?” You ask her, tilting your head as the boys start pouring celebratory shots, chatting amongst themselves.

“You’re Juliet and Jeongin’s Romeo,” she says, and you think she’s just stating the obvious. “You get what that means, right?”

You scrunch your nose up, not following where she was going with this.

“You’re playing love interests! You’re gonna have to kiss and, like, die for each other and stuff,” she says, flipping a strand of hair behind her ear.

And oh Christ, because no you didn’t think about that, and she can clearly tell as you watch Jeongin down a shot in horror. You’d have to kiss one of your best friends. You’d have to act as though you were in love with the boy you’d grown up with.

Yunjin only laughs, shaking her head.

“Oh girl,” she grins. “Break a leg.”

so after almost a year (I’m so sorry tf) the first part is here!! Lmk if you like it, I’m super excited about this (mainly because I’m biased I heart jeongin) but the concept is so cute too hehe

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dragons-and-dwarves-are-nice · 6 months ago

Text

To the Shadows that Cry Witch /// Chapter 22

And here's the final chapter of Part 2! Thank you to all who have taken the journey with me so far, I'm trying to make the slow pace as worth it as possible (even though it's taken me over a year to start the actual plotline *sweats*) Chances are I'll disappear for a while again, but that'll be because I'll be putting my all into Part 3. Enjoy! <3

Summary: Magic was real, but it came at a price. So when two girls end up in the one place they never thought they could reach, strange things began to happen. Good or bad? That's up to them to find out.

Tags: Kili x oc/reader - Fili x oc (POV to be written soon) - Thorin's company × ocs/reader (platonic) - fluff - angst - EXTREME slow burn - crack - Bagginshield

Word Count: 5622

Warnings: Swearing.

Taglist - comment or message to be added!

Want some background music? Check out my Soundtrack Playlist!

Now available on Wattpad and AO3 (please let me know if links aren't working)

< Chapter 21 // Chapter 22 // Part 3

Part 2: Chapter 22 -

Rearranging furniture.

Psithurism (Definition): The sound of wind in the trees and rustling of leaves. (Noun / Origin: Ancient Greek /sith-yuh-riz-uhm)

Bag End, Hobbiton, The Shire – T.A. Saturday, 23rd April 2941 of the Third Age (Monday, 3rd Thrimidge, 1341 in Shire-reckoning)

11 MONTHS LATER

“WOAH, Griffo! I told you not to go for the head!” I yelled, watching the small hobbit child scamper into the bushes with his wooden sword, giggling to himself. Letting out a harsh sigh, I marched off after the troublemaker.

Almost a whole year had passed since Bertie had found those horses in the field, and eight months when he had officially declared them ours, shoving the oversized reigns he had found into our hands the second he had found them. We rode them whenever we had the time, learning the reigns – literally – though it took a lot of getting used to. It was difficult in the beginning, trying to understand how the two animals ticked, and how we were to balance on them; I had only ever ridden a horse two or three times during my life on Earth, and I didn’t even know about Kay, so this was a whole new experience for the both of us. But we learnt, and now Hecate and Calhourn were a perfect addition to our growing group.

It wasn’t just that, there were also physical changes. We hadn’t grown, no, but our bodies were changing.

Despite my chronic habit to sleep in for as long as possible, we had kept up with the exercises and training Seathan had drilled into our minds. Our muscles had developed, not extremely, but enough to be seen by the weight we had lost. Not only were we thinner, leaner, but also fitter. I personally was no longer losing my breath after about 20 minutes of hardcore exercise. Our hair had grown longer; we trimmed it a few times to rid of any split ends, and I had Gladiola cut my fringe and curtain bangs back in a few times, but the rest of my straight brown tresses were now reaching my lower back, and Kay’s copper waves reached her elbows. With our earnings from work, we had also paid Gladiola for some new outfits, and our wardrobes were getting fuller by the month.

On the topic of magic. After almost a year and a half, from getting our wands to practicing it in ‘our’ clearing, we had a several spells memorised between us, and a larger amount written down in my growing grimoire and spell books. The shelves in my room had filled, jars of herbs and other random ingredients that could be used in the cauldron Kay had gifted me for my birthday.

Despite the short amount of time, we had also increased our skills in sword-fighting, having upgraded from the wooden swords to the blunt steel ones, becoming familiar with wielding the heavier versions, and hopefully to the real thing once we paid Seathan another visit.

Right now, we were in the clearing, accompanied by Mrs Greenfoot’s kids. Menegilda was shyly letting Kay show her how to upper-swing with the wooden sword in her hand, along with her much more excitable younger sister, Berylla, who was currently spinning in circles as she flailed her own sword around. I was managing the other five as they pretended to battle each other, the boys – Rothad, Griffo and Madoc – against me and the other two girls – Melba and Lalia.

Us girls were winning. Until Griffo decided to adopt guerilla warfare tactics.

“Griffo I need you to stay in my sight. It’s your mum’s rules after all!” I called out, trying to peer through the leaves and branches of the bushes.

“He just wants you to follow him so he can scare you.” Said a young voice, and I looked down when I registered the feeling of a tiny hand gripping my knee, to see Lalia peering up at me with an exasperated look. Turning to the bushes, she raised her voice. “Griffo! We’re leaving without you and I’m telling mummy you ran off by yourself and broke a rule!” When she was met with silence, she called out again. “AND I’LL TELL TURPIN TO NOT INVITE YOU TO HIS BIRTHDAY PARTY!”

A moment of silence passed. But nothing could be heard apart from the chirping birds and the light wind rustling the leaves on the trees.

With a sigh, I patted Lalia on the shoulder. “Stay here, I’ll go find him.” And I reluctantly pushed my way through the branches, trying to ignore the way they snagged and scratched at my skin and clothes. Finding a small parting, I carefully knelt down, giving the ground a quick scan as I searched for any thistles or nettles before placing my hands down and began crawling my way through the undergrowth.

Hearing a giggle in the distance ahead, I sighed once again in exasperation and pushed forward. I tried not to hiss whenever I accidentally pressed my hand down on a gnarly fallen branch or thistle, ignoring the tiny beads of blood that grew in number on my palm. Eventually, the bushes began to thin, and it wasn’t long until I was in another clearing. Pushing myself up, I brushed any loose dirt that wasn’t already stuck to my now-stained dungarees, and scanned the area for the small hobbit boy.

“Griffo!” I called. “C’mon this isn’t funny! Your mum’s going to be really upset when she finds out what you did.”

Worry began to settle in my stomach when I was answered once again with silence, and I scanned my eyes over every bush to try and find where he was hidden. There was a tree up ahead, its branches low enough for someone 2-3 feet tall to climb onto, I marched over to it, but was stopped halfway there, frozen in my tracks, when my eyes met some very familiar green ones.

Up on one of the twisting branches, about level with my head, was the black cat, and my mind raced with flashbacks of that night I was chased through the woods, adrenaline beginning to rise as the memories returned.

Taking a cautious step forward, I eyed the cat wearily as it flicked its tail.

“You haven’t taken Griffo this time, have you?” I asked, half-jokingly, my hand unconsciously coming to grasp the wrist where my Grandad’s bracelet was clasped around.

All it did was continue to stare, slitted eyes shifting minutely as they darted slightly over my face, and I went to inch myself closer, arm raising slightly.

But just my luck, the still air was suddenly broken by the sound of a war-cry, the bushes to the side of me shaking violently until Griffo burst out, his sword raised as he charged at my leg, whacking and hacking at whatever he could reach.

“Oh for – Griffo!” I cried, kneeling down to grasp at his small shoulders in attempt to calm him down. “What on Earth were you doing disappearing off like that?!”

The boy soon calmed down, attempting one last slap as he looked up at me through his brown curls with wide eyes.

I sighed. “Look, I’m all for you playing however you want, but you need to do it where I can see you ok?” All he did was stare, so I added on. “If you try something like this again, it’ll be Lobelia Sackville-Baggins that’ll be looking after you from now on.” I stated firmly, giving him a stern look.

This seemed to do the trick, as the boy let out a string of panicked ‘no, no, no!’s as he scurried off back in the direction of the clearing. I went to follow, but paused, turning my head to look back at the cat. Only to be met with an empty branch.

Gone. I was alone once again, the cat had vanished – leaving me with the wind rustling the leaves in the small clearing and the sound of the hobbit boy’s retreating footsteps.

Shaking my head, I jogged to catch up with Griffo, the hobbit thankfully taking a path that allowed me to stand up as we both returned.

When we did, he returned to normal, letting out another battle cry as he charged at Lalia, who was patiently waiting for the two of us. Letting out a squeal, she sprinted away as fast as her little legs would carry her, and the battle between the five rallied up again tenfold.

A quarter of an hour had passed when I found myself on the brink of exhaustion, and Kay had graciously offered to take over the battle, to which I gasped out a thank you, swapping places before I was overrun again by tiny, hyper children, and asking the slightly calmer, elder siblings if they wanted to learn archery.

Crouching behind Menegilda, I watched as she nocked the arrow and pulled it back as much as her strength would allow. It had been about half an hour, and she was yet to hit the target hung on the low branch, the arrows of her previous attempts littering the grass in front of us.

“Ok, just make sure your left arm is straight, and you’ve pulled it so your three fingers are brushing against your right cheek.” I urged gently, watching as she pulled the string back a little further, her arm trembling slightly with the tension. “Your feet are alright, so just make sure you release it as quickly as you can, so your grip doesn’t slow it down.”

With a shaky breath, she gave a slight nod, her large blue eyes remaining focused on the target directly ahead, trying to ignore the curl of hair that the wind brushed over her face. A sharp thwip whipped through the air, the arrow a blur as it crossed the distance. A second passed, and hit the target with a thunk.

Despite the arrow only hitting the outer ring, it was enough for Berylla to let out a whoop of victory from where she stood next to the girl, throwing her arms in the air before embracing her older sister, who returned her enthusiasm with her own shy smile.

“Well done Gilda!” Kay called from across the green as she headed over, the pretend-fight having ended just a minute ago. Leaving the other kids to catch their breath, she approached the three of us, though Menegilda and Berylla soon pattered off, joining their siblings to celebrate Menegilda’s progress. Stood at the edge, we both watched the seven of them chatter away.

“They’re learning well.” Kay commented, huffing in satisfaction.

I hummed in response, prodding at the tiny stab wounds on my palms that had now scabbed over. “As well as we can teach them. But we’ll all get better over time.”

Kay paused in thought, staring at the ground as she leant on the tree behind her, twisting her upper body slightly to face me. “Speaking of time, do you know what day it is?”

My brows twitched into a light frown. “You know what, I really don’t.” I looked over at her. “I forgot to write the date down once around late February and ended up losing track since. Why do you ask?”

She went to open her mouth, but snapped it shut as she regarded me with a look of confusion. “Have you seriously spent over two months not knowing what day it is?”

“I know what day of the week it is!” I shot back, slightly offended. “I just haven’t had the need to know the specifics.”

She sighed. “Maybe you needed to know because of what’s coming?”

I smacked my lips as I realised. “Yeaaa I should’ve kept that in mind.” I muttered regrettably. “The only thing that reminded me to check was the fact that Gandalf and Thorin should’ve already met in the Prancing Pony on the 15th March. To be honest they could all be on their way right now.”

“It could even be today and we’re completely unprepared for it!” hissed Kay quietly, as to not draw the attention of the children metres away.

“You’re not the only one who’s beginning to shit themselves, cause I don’t know when Gandalf is going to show up and if he shows up at all.” I uttered with wide eyes, not hearing the light patter of small feet approach me.

“Shit.” It parroted.

“Huh?” My eyes darted around in confusion, briefly meeting Kay’s as she also scanned the area, though hers quickly landed on something on the other side of me, and I twisted my head, looking down to meet the bright blue and very round eyes of Melba blinking up at me.

“Shit.” She chirped with a toothy grin, her dark curls flopping round her face as she bounced on her feet. Kay snorted from beside me as I immediately began to panic.

“Oh – crap. Mel-Melba! Melba.” I stuttered, dropping to my knees to become eye level with the tiny girl. “That’s a bad word – you can’t say it unless you’re a grown-up.”

She pouted. “But you aren’t a grown up. You only turned nineteen in August!” she protested with a whine.

“That’s because I’m not a Hobbit, darling. We grow up quicker because we’re humans. Promise me you won’t say it?” I pleaded, holding out my pinkie finger as an offering.

A couple seconds passed as the girl glanced between my face and outstretched finger, clearly debating whether or not she was willing to listen. But to my relief, she grinned, hooking her finger with mine, just as we had taught her and her siblings months ago.

“Okay! I won’t say it ever again!” she stated proudly, and she swiftly dashed off to join her siblings, though I highly doubted she would remember her promise for long.

“Wow.” Was all Kay could vocalise from behind me.

“Hush.” I retorted, pushing myself up from the ground. “Let’s head back – it’s still mid-morning so we can ask Bilbo what day it is just in case.” I suggested, trying to change the subject.

Nodding, Kay pushed herself away from the tree, marching across the clearing to where Calhourn and Hecate were roped up munching on the grass by the outskirts. Following suit, I called out for the kids whilst scooping up our weapons, who despite their whining about the session being cut short, they reluctantly trudged over, putting any belongings back in their packs and slinging them over their shoulders.

After much squabbling, the kids worked out who’s turn it was to ride on the horses with us. Madoc and Berylla were victorious, after much debate (and protests from Griffo). The rest ran ahead down the path, screaming battle cries as they brandished their swords, apart from Menegilda who was calmly leading the way as eldest sister as usual.

Keeping to the left of the path, we politely kept our horses out of the way of the locals walking past, who still craned their necks up to glance at the towering animals, then at the wave of loud, lively kids with a nervous or distrustful edge, despite us having taken them around town on numerous occasions – if not all the time.

Whilst trying to keep Berylla from squirming from where she sat in front of me as we rode over one of the bridges, my ears perked up at the sound of my name being called. Turning my head, I watched Kay nudge Calhourn into a brisk trot, hooves clacking against the stone then grass as she lined herself up with me, until we were riding side by side.

“We should probably think about packing as soon as we get back.” She suggested.

“Oh, definitely.” I agreed, failing to realise that we were being listened to by two intrigued children. “I’ll try and see if that undetectable extension charm will work on our bags.”

“Why are you packing??” “Are you leaving us?!” exclaimed Rothad and Berylla, the two of them trying to twist in their spots to face us with wide glossy eyes.

“Nononono, guys it’s fine.” Blurted Kay in an attempt to calm the two before their siblings overheard. “Nothing’s happening, we’re just talking about packing some furniture away, aren’t we Kate?” She eyed me expectantly, and I quickly nodded along.

“Ye-Yea! It’s nothing for you lot to worry about.” I agreed with a shaky laugh.

In the next twenty minutes it took to reach Gladiola’s house, we had spent it trying to convince the two that everything was alright before they fell off the horses in a panic. Eventually the squealing kids we’re received by their father, who ushered them inside, giving us his thanks. Though we could only give a short reply, when Melba had proudly stated to her dad that she had learnt a new word, and we immediately took that as our cue to flick the reigns and canter away as fast as politely possible.

Returning Calhourn and Hecate to the stables, we tossed a quick hello to Bertie, before trudging on foot back up the hill to Bag End.

Reaching the gate, Kay briefly checked the letterbox for mail, and we tiredly hauled ourselves up the stone steps, dropping our bags on the floor and dragging them behind us as I pushed open the large green door.

Wandering further into the house, I waited in the hallway as Kay ran to her room, snatching up her leather backpack, before rejoining me, and the two of us ducked through the hallways, crossing the house until we reached my bedroom.

Sitting cross-legged on my bed, the two of us laid our bags out between us, and took our wands out. Reaching over to my bedside table, I grabbed my soon-to-be-full spellbook, the pages now slightly crinkled and unable to lay flat after months of use.

“Ok,” I breathed. “So I’m pretty sure the charm is Capacious Extremis, and we just need to visualise how big we want the space to be.” I explained, Kay nodding along with me. “Now, this is a stupidly complex spell, so the chance of it working first try is low, so we’ll keep doing it until it works.”

With a snort, Kay rolled her eyes. “Or until it backfires and we blow the house up.” She remarked, shifting into a more comfortable position as she picked her wand up and pointed it at her bag.

“Probably.” I shrugged. “What size are you going for?”

“Umm, like probably about the equivalent of three of four large suitcases?” She answered. “And let me guess, you’re expanding yours to the size of a house?” She stated expectantly as she looked down at my briefcase.

I side-eyed her. “No.” I guffawed. “I’m only putting in a few rooms.”

She held back a laugh. “Of course you are.”

The attempts we made to successfully complete the spell were… entertaining, to say the least. At one point, instead of expanding the inside, Kay accidentally expanded the whole bag, the object growing in size so fast it ended up whacking me in the nose, and I spent the next five minutes bent over the bathroom sink as I waited for the blood to clot up as Kay desperately tried not to laugh. I was no better, when sparks ended up flying out the end of my wand during my third attempt, and we both had to quickly flap our arms about to stop them before they landed on the quilt and set it ablaze.

The both of us sighed in relief when nothing extreme happened on Kay’s fifth attempt, unclipping her bag to see that the spell had finally worked, peering down inside to see a space much too big to be physically able to fit in.

Mine worked on the sixth attempt, seeing as I was aiming for a much larger result. Laying the large rucksack on the rug, I unclasped the buttons and zips and swung open the flap, pulling the opening wide to reveal a steep set of wooden steps, leading down to what looked like the inside of a small wooden hut.

“I take it that Newt Scamander’s briefcase was the inspiration for this?” Kay remarked.

I grinned as I gave her a nod, before twisting myself around to reach my foot over the threshold, testing the planks as I cautiously made my way down. As my feet touched the floor, Kay poked her head over, leaning her torso in slightly to have a peek around.

Shuffling about, I inspected the rows of shelves and drawers that lined the walls, pulling my finger at the odd handle to check the space given. Creaks came from behind, as Kay made her own way down, coming to join me as she revered at the results I had luckily achieved. Her eyes landed on a door opposite the ladder, and she stepped towards it. The brass handle was shaped like an outstretched bird’s claw, waiting patiently for someone to grasp it. Turning her head, she silently asked to open it, and I nodded in response, watching as she curled her left hand around the shape, twisting it until the latch gave way and swung the door open.

Inside revealed a short hallway, barely a couple of metres, which led to two further doors with matching handles; one opened to a small room, that looked a bit more like a pantry, with shelves and cupboards lining the walls, along with some brass hooks on the ceiling to hang the odd thing, then a long table in the middle. The other room was quite bare, but had a small wardrobe and chest of drawers attached on one side, and a spindly three-quarter size wooden bedframe on the other with a matching bedside table.

“You’re not planning on sleeping in here?” Kay asked, a little concerned. “Because I think some people might be a bit jealous.”

“Oh, no.” I replied with a shake of my head. “That wouldn’t be fair. I was planning out this layout with the long term future in mind, not just what could potentially happen soon. This is only a backup for some other time.”

She nodded slowly. She spoke, and I hummed in question. “We’re doing some pretty advanced magic right now. We’ve learnt in a year what others would in almost a decade.”

I whirled round to face her. “It’s called being insane at everything.” I grinned.

She scoffed with a matching grin, lifting her hand up, to which I high-fived with my own. “Clearly.”

“Of course.” I answered obviously. “Now, we need to pack asap. Do you know what you’re bringing?” I pointed at her, waiting for an answer.

Kay put her hands on her hips. “Yep. I’m taking the essentials along with some precious keepsakes. And you’re bringing everything but the kitchen sink.”

I glanced around sheepishly. “Pretty much.”

She shook her head, stepping out the room. “I mean, you did prepare for it.” She said, gesturing to what was around her. “Now get cracking, I know how long you take.”

I gave a small salute. “I’ll get on it.”

The call of the early morning birds filtered through the crack of the paned windows as per usual, and as routine, I blinked in an attempt to clear my bleary eyes against the sun rays that glowed against my face as I tried to make out my brown hair in the mirror, running a soft bristled brush through it.

Gently placing it back on the dressing table, I stared emptily into my reflection, fixing the lace collar on my nightgown before pressing my eyes shut, as sleep had yet to lift its hands from my head.

My ears perked up at the sound of my bedroom door being opened, and I slowly turned my head to squint tiredly at whoever was stepping though the doorway.

I watched as Kay made her way over to my bed, already fully washed and dressed as she hauled a pile of random objects onto my bed.

“You’re never up this early.” I groaned, resting my head on my hand as I turned slightly in my seat to face her. “The only time I’ve seen you up before me was to get ready for that 7am flight to France.”

“Couldn’t sleep.” She answered as she turned to face me. “Bilbo was up before me to visit the early market, so I took the liberty of nicking some of his stuff.”

Now my eyes were fully open. “You what. Why didn’t you invite me?”

She sat herself down on the quilted duvet. “I did earlier, but all I got was snoring in reply.”

Too tired to retaliate, all I gave was a pouty frown, turning back to the mirror to reach for my mascara that I had remembered – by some miracle – to use the duplication spell on (Geminio – a lifesaver when you realise eyeliner isn’t popular in Middle Earth), otherwise I would have ran out six copies ago.

Brushing the black paste onto my lashes, I look over at Kay through the mirror. “What did you get?” I asked.

“Just some things he would consider ‘essentials’ that he would forget.” She replied, rummaging through the small pile next to her. “A hat, some money, couple of books and random keepsakes he could look at.”

“Did you add the handkerchief?” I added.

“Of course I got the handkerchief, plus six more.” Kay remarked, and I felt the impact of something soft and light on the back of my head. “Saves us that awkward moment and his first impression with them.”

Slotting the mascara wand back in its bottle, I twisted in my seat to lean down and retrieve what had been thrown against my head, the object revealing itself as a finely-made handkerchief. Picking it up, I ran the soft material between my fingers. “Do you think he’ll notice these things gone?” I questioned, chucking the cloth back at her.

Raising her hands, Kay caught it. “My best guess is that Gandalf is gonna show up over the next few days, and Bilbo owns at least twenty of these. But knowing our luck so far? Yes.” She answered with a tired look as she placed the handkerchief back on the pile.

Standing up, I stretched my arms above my head until I felt my spine let out a series of pops. “ ‘Course.” I groaned, flopping my arms back down. “So why’d you bring them here?”

Standing up, Kay lifted the pile of stuff and hauled it into my unsuspecting arms. “You have the bigger bag, so I need you to hide them in one of your millions of drawers.”

Attempting to balance the load in my arms, I nodded, before padding over to one of the corners of my room, where the accursed wardrobe stood, and where my bag now sat slotted between the wall and that tall piece of furniture.

Placing the pile on the floor, I lowered myself on my knees as I dragged the bag out, trying my best not to jostle it too much and being mindful of the contents that were now sat within. Calling over my shoulder, I told Kay I would join her for breakfast soon, she agreed, and I listened as the door was swung shut with a click, the muffled sound of her bare feet against the wooden floor fading away as she ventured to the kitchen.

Five minutes later, after organising Bilbo’s belongings into one of the drawers, I found myself reorganising some of the herb jars. Sliding the last bottle in place, I stepped back, admiring my handy work. Almost everything I owned now lined the shelves of my bag, the remaining objects back up in my now bare-looking room being my everyday essentials that would be packed the morning we would leave.

Leaving. The thought of it made my stomach churn. Not in a bad way, but not quite in a good way either. Like the feeling you get when you’re at the front of a queue, about to step onto a ride you had never tried before at a theme park. Excited, but knowing that what is to happen might not quite be what you expect.

Swallowing the feeling down, I grasped the side of the step ladder and climbed my way up and out. I finished my morning routine, quickly washing in the bath and threw my shift, kirtle and skirt on as I braided my hair into two low space buns, finishing it off with a wide white ribbon over my head and tying it off with a bow underneath. Pulling my fringe and curtains bangs out from behind my ears, I twirled them into shape before heading over to the door, closing it behind me as I went to meet Kay in the kitchen.

Barely a few steps in, however, I was met by a spritely Bilbo.

“Ah! There you are!” He grinned as he marched over from where he came through the back door hallway (though it was more of a door that was round the bend further along the path), still in his blue overcoat as he handed me a straw-cloth sack full of something unknown.“ I thought about some furniture rearrangements for the parlour whilst I was out and could really use both of your opinions. But breakfast first! I heard Kay was making those pan-cakes.”

Slightly bewildered at the sudden onslaught of conversation, I blinked, nodding silently. Shifting the bag of itchy material in my arms, I followed him through to the kitchen.

After demolishing the stack of pancakes Kay had prepared, we wandered after the hobbit as he beckoned us into the parlour, now only in his green trousers, white shirt and golden waistcoat. “I’m not quite happy with the way it looks by the window.” He called out behind him. “I figured we could do some moving about to see if anything suits our fancy?”

“Right, Kay, could you just push the table this way.” Bilbo asked, pointing over to where he wanted to try it out next. “Try keeping the dishrags underneath the legs so you don’t scrape it –” The hobbit was abruptly cut off as he ducked, narrowly missing a wooden leg as he tried to not get hit by the floating chair that was flying towards him. “KATE! WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT USING YOUR WAND INSIDE?!?!?”

I gaped slightly as I lowered my wand, the chair slowing down as it slowly approached the ground. “I was trying to help?!” I protested, trying to ignore Kay who was trying not to make a sound from where she was leaning over the table, shaking violently with laughter.

“You’re trying to incapacitate me, that’s what you’re doing!!” cried Bilbo, grabbing the chair as soon as it touched the floorboards beside him.

“Not on purpose.” I sulked with a frown.

“Clearly.” He remarked as he eyed me with a weary glare. Pausing for a moment he looked around. “Come to think of it, this arrangement looks nice.” He pondered, shoving the chair back under the table where it belonged. “Whelp! I’m off outside for a smoke.” He huffed, patting his trousers for the pipe weed hidden in one of the pockets. “You two can join if you’d like, it’s a lovely morning outside!” He offered, voice echoing through the hallways as he vanished off to fetch his pipe.

The sound of Hobbiton coming alive in the morning echoes over the hills, wagons being pushed and the chattering of neighbours as they hung out their washing mixed themselves with the chirping birds and rushing water. Kay and I were sat partially hidden behind some bushed in Bilbo’s front garden, and I tilted my head back to try and get the rays onto my pale skin.

“I know we’ve been preparing for this trip for a while now, but is it bad that it makes me so nervous that I feel sick to my stomach sometimes?” I pondered as I leant back on my hands, feeling the blades of grass poke between my fingers.

“Not at all.” Kay replied from where she was laid next to me, an arm tossed over her eyes as she soaked up the early morning sun. “I don’t know how we keep forgetting to ask the date, but it’s causing me to wake up every morning worried that it’ll be our last day here.”

I hummed worriedly in agreement as I watched Bilbo’s smoke rings float above the bushes we were sat behind, the wisps fading into the air. Picking some dirt from under my nails, another thought came to mind.

“What if he doesn’t let us?” I muttered, aware of the hobbit sat on the bench out of sight a few metres away.

Kay made a confused noise. “Who?”

I lowered my voice to a whisper. “Thorin. We’ve seen how he is, and there’s a strong chance he’ll say no. Hell, even Gandalf might!”

At this Kay pushed herself onto her elbows, squinting in the sun as she looked at me. “I highly doubt Gandalf will say no.” she whispered back. “Plus, Thorin wants an army to join him – he asked Dain after all – so chances are either us, or Gandalf – hopefully – will use that as the counter argument.”

My eyes flitted over the rose bush in front of me, listening to the sound of footsteps pass by as I thought it over. “You’re right, we’ll leave it to think about later.”

Kay nodded, and began lowering herself back down, when the sound of someone sputtering filled the air, followed by some throaty coughs. The two of us went silent, listening to see who was the culprit of the sound.

A few moments of silence passed, until it was finally broken by Bilbo’s wary voice.

“Good Morning.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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rageagainsttheapathy · 2 years ago

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Part three/four of my Steve Does Rocky Horror au! Because I live here now, apparently.

Parts One Two and Three (slash two-and-a-half) here.

So Eddie spots Steve half in half out of his Frank-n-furter costume behind the theatre and basically SCREECHES his name in shock, and then when Steve jumps half a foot in the air and looks around frantically for whoever the hell just recognised him, because oh-shit-oh-fuck-what-if-it’s-a-homophobe-from-Hawkins and spots Eddie, there’s a brief moment of mutual deer-in-headlights staring at each other, before Eddie snaps of of it and BOLTS away, dragging Jeff behind him.

(The boy is a runner, okay, this has been established)

Jeff REFUSES to believe that Eddie saw THEE Steve Harrington behind the theatre. No, nope, you Have It Wrong, My Friend, That Man Just LOOKED Like Harrington, Let Me Live In Denial, Please And Thank You. Eddie, meanwhile is having a crisis about the fact that he spent a solid two hours lusting avidly over Steve Harrington’s thighs in fishnet stockings, which is an objectively INSANE sentence to think, what the FUCK is even happening?! Steve Harrington is NOT sexy! He DOES NOT sing and dance in high heels! THE WORLD AS EDDIE KNOWS IT IS CRUMBLING AROUND HIM!

The next day, Eddie has joined Jeff in denial. He is Not Thinking about Steve at all, no sir, Steve who? He just wants to enjoy getting to really know the new show he just watched, maybe learn the songs on his guitar, practice at shouting the right things at the right moment so that next time he goes to the stage show, he can properly Get Into It. He needs the film version! Get to know Tim Curry as Dr Frank, and not That Other Guy Who Shall Not Be Named And Also Isn’t Nearly As Sexy.

Let’s Go To Family Video, he says. It’ll Be Fun, he says.

(Guys, Gals, and Pals, you know where this is going.)

“No, Robin, I SWEAR, it was definitely Munson. You think I could mistake that guy for anyone else?” Steve is saying, still kind of worried about the whole thing.

Ding! Goes the bell over the shop door.

“GOOOOOOOD AFTERNOON, FAMILY VIDEOOOOOOOOO-Oh shit” says Eddie.

Because Oh Yeah, This Is Where Harrington Works. Why did Eddie choose NOW to remember that? Literally ANY OTHER TIME would have been a better time for him to remember that.

“…Munson.”

“…Harrington.”

“…Buckley.” Says Robin, who was feeling left out.

This time, the stare off ends not when Eddie panics and runs, but, when Steve, who is both awkward in uncomfortable situations and desperate for Validation, asks Eddie “the show wasn’t THAT bad, was it?” All self-deprecating and shit, to which Eddie responds with

“Are you kidding me, that shit was the COOLEST THING and you know it” which means that Steve, now adequately complimented, switches to Flirting Mode™️.

(He does not realise, Ladies and Gentlefolk, that he has switched to Flirting Mode. But don’t worry, Robin will (gleefully) inform him later.)

“Oh really? What was you favourite part?” He says, leaning forward with a seductive smile.

Which is about when Eddie remembers the fishnets and the corset, and loses the ability to function again.

Robin, stood off to the side, is watching both of them judgementally while also memorising this entire conversation to relay to their Gay Adoptive Parents on their next Indy weekend.

They’re gonna find it HILARIOUS.

#stranger things #rocky horror #steve harrington #dr frank n furter #robin buckley #eddie munson #Jeff #steddie #humour #ficlet #just so you guys know #Steve does not yet realise that he’s bi #you can be in plays and have gay friends while not being gay he says #and he’s absolutely right!#but also #baby.#the way you feel about Bruce Springsteen?#that right there is a Hint

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bangtanhoneys · 1 year ago

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Yoongi & Grace: Future's Gonna Be Okay

It was nice to not have many plans now his military service had been announced. His tour across the world with his solo trilogy albums was completed, his tattoo was revealed, he had seen his brothers and now the healing could truly begin. Of course, he had seen the news blow up on Twitter and ARMY’s response.

‘Couldn’t have Big Hit even us more than 24 hours? We’re not recovering from the concert.’

‘First Yoongi breaks my heart by crying and now he does this? What the hell SUGA?!’

But it is what it is.

It has to be done.

It had been great to have dinner with all six of the boys and Grace. Of course, she wasn’t going to miss out on seeing his last concert and he knew she had been backstage, ready to take the mic from Adora in case she needed to jump in to cover the tracks he couldn’t get through. As much as he struggled, he got through those three tracks even with tears and snot covering his face.

He loved her for that. That she was always there, ready to jump in. She did it for everyone.

It was also nice to see the family dynamics at play again with Seokjin & Grace reunited, Jungkook reunited with his adopted parents, Jimin back with his sister, and Taehyung back with his partner in crime. How they controlled the grown-up maknae line with gentle prods. How they soothed an anxious Namjoon and a bouncing Hobi.

Yoongi had the chance to sit back and watch it all, surprised he missed the feeling even after living alone for the past couple of years.

Now he would be the next one to leave.

And he knew what it was like for Grace to say goodbye to Seokjin and Hobi.

Now she would have to say goodbye to her twin.

It was always joked that Yoongi and Grace were two cats in a pod. The near enough same personality, the cool exterior but the massive warmth underneath. How they would do anything for anyone. Yoongi’s shadow. Grace’s bodyguard. Yoongi’s safe place. Grace’s go-to.

Four more to go, another four to say goodbye to. All while prepping for her own solo career and world tour.

Of course, he found her in the practice room, the layout of the stage printed on paper and stuck on the mirror for everyone to memorise. The set list (which was changing every week) was printed up on the wall with handwritten notes from Grace, their performance director, choreographers and even the dancers.

Notes of costumes were on another wall with approval stamps from Balmain and Louboutin, more notes from the stylist team.

The whole floor at HYBE had been dedicated to Grace’s solo career with Bang’s office right at the end, the one spearheading the whole thing. Grace’s own team, now currently nicknamed the Queen’s Guard, was spread across other rooms. Yoongi was proud of her, in more ways than one.

“I thought I’d find you here,” he said as he closed the door behind him and found Grace sitting on the floor, dance practice clothes on but covered in sweat, looking up at the setlist.

“Are you changing your mind again?” he then asked, sitting down next to her while handing over a large mug of tea and a doughnut.

“No, it’s pretty much finalised. There’s just a couple of tweaks to make with each stop but I’ve got a plan for that,” she smiled as she gratefully took the offered items and wrapped her hands around the mug.

Of course, a lot of it had been hidden away from the boys as she wanted it to be a surprise for everyone including ARMY. So many surprises were coming their way that it was going to be a rollercoaster month starting from November and all the way through to when they came back together in 2025.

“How are you feeling now the notice has been put up?” Grace asked, nudging Yoongi to look at her.

“It’s a relief. It’s hard and it’s worrying but Seokjin-hyung and Hobi have done alright. And the military have been informed of my shoulder so we’ll take it day by day. How are you feeling?” he turned the question onto her, turning his head to fully look at her.

“Four more to go,” she muttered with a dry laugh. “I agree with ARMY when they say the quicker you all go, the quicker you get back. And I do feel that. But not seeing you all for at least eighteen months is hard. Jungkook’s is going to be the worst.”

“Well, he is your baby after all.”

He grinned at the look he got and took the doughnut back, breaking it in half so he could have some.

“But you’re going to do well. ARMY is going to explode with all the things you’ve got planned and I’m sure Seokjin is going to be with you when he comes back for most of your tour, or he’ll at least try to be. And I’ll be keeping up to date with it all,” Yoongi said around a mouthful of the doughnut which Grace tutted at.

“I know. I suppose I’m kind of getting used to the idea I’ll be on my own but not fully. I know you all will be watching and supporting. But it would be nice to have you all there anyway.” Grace finished off her tea and set the mug on the floor, letting out a long sigh.

The two stayed silent as Yoongi finished off the doughnut he brought. They stayed like that for a few minutes until he pushed himself up, brushed down his hands and held out his hands for his sister to take.

“Come on, Gigi. Let’s go for dinner, my treat.”

Grace took hold of her younger brother’s hand and let him pull her up, giving her a quick but tight hug.

“Oh yuck, I’m covered in sweat now.”

“I’ve got more dancing than you to do. All you did was stand there and bounce around.”

“Bounce around? Did you see me sweating?”

“I saw you standing there yelling shibal for the world to repeat.”

“Aish.”

#gracechuasks #bts 8th member #bts additional member #bts eighth member #bts female member #bts scenarios #bts fic #yoongi 8th member

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pinbones · 1 month ago

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"They never taught us x in school" is sometimes a criticism of your school's biases or specific teachers being trash, but I think a lot of it comes down to the fact that kids have each subject once or twice a week, and learn at a high school level. You didn't get to learn a comprehensive history of your country's politics and culture because there wasn't enough time in between learning every other subject and doing all your extracurricular projects and learning how to write essays better than a toddler. And christknows kids barely do homework let alone read their textbooks cover to cover to see what they missed in class.

The point of school wasn't to teach you specifics about every topic on earth, that was never possible. It was making kids literate and setting them up for their future.

Back when kids were just taught to memorise flags and country names, schools caught flak for not teaching them about the culture and politics of those places ('facts instead of knowledge'). Now, when they DO teach you about a couple of countries' cultures and histories in more depth, people complain that it's too specific, or that those aren't the right country or time in history to learn about. You see the problem? The VASTNESS of planet earth and all of relevant human history? The generalised skills are the most useful ones, and I promise you they taught you those at school, even if they didn't give you a checklist of everything you would need to know to become ~informed about the world~. And now people are pointing out that students can't name every place on the globe, when that was never a skill anybody has ever used in their lives. (Psst -- globes and maps exist.)

Look through your old schoolbooks. They taught you how to analyse souces in history, and learning about WW2 or whatever was just a way to do that. In English, you learned how to recognise persuasive writing and how to do it yourself, probably by analysing everything from newspapers to poems. You were taught about other cultures and peoples in their respective language classes, you studied at least one. You might have learned about the impacts of tourism and climate change in geography and all the things we're doing to balance them. In chemistry and physics you learned about practical experiments and how they relate to real life phenomena that affect us daily. Food tech/woodworking/graphic design/resistant materials taught you about the design and production of new market products. You probably even learned the rules of the road as a bicyclist and pedestrian at school. School taught you about diseases and vaccines and handwashing, they taught you how to LOOK UP INFORMATION in libraries and how to format sources, and if you're on the younger end, they taught you how to use Google and probably made you get an email address when you didn't see the point of them.

If you were never taught skills, then I'm sorry. But half the point of school is teaching kids how to CONTINUE learning their whole lives. It's not to catch them up on everything that happened in the world by age 18. If you had to know everything important by the time you graduated, you'd never have left

#“i didn't learn about the black panthers” neither did i. but we both know about them.#my highschool was a good one and it still didn't teach every student everything #for example only the A class learned german and the B class did spanish. only the A class learned about the Tsar Nicolas #only the b class did graphic design and we got stuck with woodworking #schooling #history #education

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worseforwords · 2 years ago

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The Strawberry Song - Part 1 (Alessia Russo x Reader)

Valentines day. The day you had been looking forward to for two weeks, but you were now dreading. You stared at the door that you had had thrown in your face exactly fourteen days ago, practically paralysed, trying to recall the words you thought you had memorised perfectly, but now you were drawing a blank. Maybe this was a bad idea, maybe you shouldn’t have come here, given her more space. A deep, disappointed, sigh exited your mouth as you sat back into your car. You warm breath made a fog appear on the front window, forming what you could only see as the shape of a strawberry. Making you smile softly as you remembered the first time you met Alessia.

You were in a bar with your band members, celebrating finally finishing your first album, when you spotted the breathtakingly beautiful blonde at the other end of the bar. A mixture of the triumphant feeling of completing the huge, months-long project with a result you were all incredibly proud of, and the alcohol coursing through your veins caused by the many celebratory shots you all took earlier, gave you the perfect boost in confidence and you decided to walk up to her. “Hi,” you said, holding out your hand and not breaking eye contact once she met your gaze, “my name is Y/N.” “Hi, Y/N, I’m Alessia.” She answered, looking rather flustered. Clearly, your newfound cocky attitude worked its magic on this girl. “So, Alessia,” you held your breath for a noticeably long pause, “can I buy you a drink?”

The rest of the night was a blur as the previously taken shots started to kick in even more, so the next day you woke up with a pounding headache and a very limited recollection of the night before. However, you remembered one thing very vividly: the taste of her lips. You even recalled asking her about the sweet flavour, which turned out to be strawberry. You woke up alone, both of you being classy women (you really weren’t, but something told you this girl would be worth the wait), but you had exchanged numbers. At some point during the night, a fairly intoxicated friend of Alessia’s, named Ella, provided you with some much appreciated advice on charming her best friend. Apparently she was quite the romantic, passionate and longing for big romantic gestures, to which you were usually the opposite, so you knew you had to step up your game.

You didn’t wait long to make your next move, as you called her the same day, stating you hoped you weren’t coming on too strong, but you’d love to see her stunning blue eyes again. In hindsight you must’ve still had some alcohol in your blood, being that bold, but it worked. At your first date you were far less suave, constantly stuttering and getting flustered, but you made sure to bring your A-game, picking her up with flowers and holding the door open for her whenever you could.

The romantic gestures didn’t end there, as the next few weeks you kept outdoing yourself with dates, gifts, and even a custom made playlist. You quickly grew close together and you loved every minute of it. Apparently so did she, as she eventually asked you to be her girlfriend: you did it, you won her over.

Dating a footballer wasn’t easy, especially trying to make a career as a musician at the same time, you had to work hard to make time for each other. You both supported each other through and through, as you were frequently in the stands at her matches, and she brought her teammates to your gigs. When one day one of your bands songs suddenly hit the charts as a result of it being used on some TikTok trend, Alessia couldn’t be more proud. She even surprised you, showing up to your next gig with her whole team wearing your merchandise, screaming “That’s my girl!” throughout the whole concert.

Even though it was you dream, the breakthrough of your band was nothing like you thought it would be. Your schedule rapidly filled up with gigs, parties, media events and you were not prepared for the insanity of it all. Being new to all this, at first you said yes to everything, and you felt high on all the attention you were getting. You were living that rock and roll lifestyle you had always dreamed of, but the late night parties and gigs and the afternoons spent in dim-lit studios definitely took a toll on your body. Your usual morning workouts turned into sleeping off hangovers, and your balanced home cooked meals became microwave meals of take-away fast food.

Alessia, being an athlete, quickly started to get worried about your newfound lifestyle. For a while she just observed how it changed you. She took note of the daily bags under your eyes and the sluggish movements of your once fairly athletic body, and when she noticed your sunken cheeks she couldn’t help but interfere, as she confronted you about your health. You were quick to dismiss her concerns, stating it was all part of being a successful musician and you just needed some time to adjust.

The opportunities for Alessia to check up on you were becoming increasingly rare, as the two of you seemed to live in different timezones. You were still asleep when she left in the morning and when she came back you had usually left, either to spend the night working in the studio, or to perform or party. You started forgetting about dates you planned with her, and short texts with the occasional heart emoji were all that was left of your previous romantic gestures. At this point, you rarely even made an effort to sleep over at her place or invite her to yours, and even though you were too busy to even be bothered by it, she was getting more frustrated about it by the second. For you it felt like a few days had past since your band hit the charts, but in reality it had been weeks, and for Alessia, it felt like months.

Eventually, she decided to confront you about it. She sat you down for what felt like an intervention and she read you a letter she wrote, expressing how alone she had felt and how concerned she was for you, whilst sniffling softly in between sentences, sending shivers down your spine. She ended the letter with some sort of ultimatum: you had to change, or she’d leave. You completely broke down at her words, promising to be better from then on.

You knew you had to prove your promise, and you decided to take her on a trip the next weekend, as she happened to have the weekend off. You asked for time off from your band duties, which your manager wasn’t happy about, but you insisted you needed the time.

The night before you were supposed to leave, your manager called you all into the studio with some news. He had booked you several new gigs, multiple of which were at venues bigger than you had ever played at before. You all cheered at the news, and your drummer stated that this called for a celebration. You politely declined, making everyones head turn to you in surprise. Your manager added that he could get you a private table at one of Manchesters most exquisite clubs, so you had to join for one drink at least. As it turned out your neglect towards your body also took a toll on your self control, so you agreed on having just one drink, which unsurprisingly turned into two, then three, and then another blur in your memory.

You woke up the next day feeling like your brain was about to explode. You picked up your phone to check the time, and audibly gasped when you saw the many missed calls and texts, the last one from an hour ago being “Never mind, I’m going home. We’re done Y/N”. Fuck. Your heart broke as you envisioned her waiting for you at the airport, with her suitcase all packed, slowly losing faith in you showing up. You swiftly got out of bed, ignoring the pounding headache and nausea it caused, grabbed some paracetamol and a coffee and got into your car.

You knocked on Alessia’s front door as you nervously fiddled with the bracelet around your wrist. When there was no answer, you knocked again, or pounded, really. The door finally flew open but you weren’t met with the disappointed blue eyes you were expecting, instead a rather angry Ella stood in front of you. “Piss off.” She said. “Can I please just talk to her?” You pleaded. “I said, piss off!” Her yelling made your pounding head hurt even more. You looked at your shoes, contemplating how to change her mind, when a soft voice from inside the house came to your rescue. “Let her in Tooney.” You looked up, slowly stepping forward to get into the house, before a hand on your shoulder stopped you. “You know, I can’t believe I actually thought you were worthy of her. You’re dead to me now.” Her words hit you like a brick, but your focus was still on the other girl in the apartment, so when Ella let go of your shoulder, you swiftly moved into the living room, being met with the devastating sight of Alessia’s tearstained face.

“Hi, Less, I am so s-” “Explain yourself.” She interrupted. “I- I can’t, I-” You stopped your stuttering when she suddenly looked up to you, eying your messy hair and the bags under your eyes. “Oh my god, you’re hungover again aren’t you?” “Well, yes. I am so sorry Less, I know I fucked up. Please let me make it up to you, we can still go on that trip, I will book us new tickets and everything, please.” You rambled desperately. “Is this supposed to mean something to me?” She said, sounding awfully bitter. “What?” You asked, your voice cracking. “Your apologies and promises. They mean nothing to me anymore. It’s all empty now.” You thought about what she said for a while as you sat yourself down.

“You don’t trust me anymore, do you?” You asked softly “Well how can I, Y/N?” She sounded desperate. “Well if you can’t trust me anymore then what are we doing? Do you want to end this?” You blurted out, immediately regretting it, hoping she would jump in. She didn’t however, and the silence that followed terrified you. “Listen, Less, I love you, I don’t want to lose you. All I can do now is promise you I will try to be better, not just for you but for me too. I’m not being healthy and it’s draining me both physically and mentally, which you fell victim to and that isn’t fair. All I ask for is one more chance to prove myself. I won’t promise perfection, but I can promise to give it my all.” Your sudden revelation caused a silence as Alessia contemplated your words. “Please, Less, say something.” You pleaded, when the tension became too much for you. “I- I don’t know Y/N, I just need some space and time to think about all this.” “Yeah, okay, I’ll leave.” You said, getting up from the couch. You cautiously put a hand on her shoulder. “I am really sorry, Less.”

The next day, you didn’t call or text her, respecting her request for space and time. You waited until the next evening to go up to her house once more, stopping on the way for some flowers. “Hi.” You said as she opened the door, holding up the bouquet. She didn’t take it from your hands, which made your stomach drop. “Y/N what are you doing here?” She asked. “I told you I needed space.” She looked exhausted. “Yeah, you had all of yesterday and today to think right?” You said, confused. “You don’t get it, Y/N, I need some actual time and space.” She explained. “Oh, right erm, how much are we talking here?” You asked carefully. “I don’t want to see you or talk to you for at least 2 weeks. No calls, no texts.” She said before loudly closing the door in your face.

Waiting for two weeks doesn’t seem that long, however, in this case, it felt like forever. The agony of waiting for the woman you loved to decide whether she can forgive you after everything you did wrong really got to you, resulting in many sleepless nights, but you were adamant on using the time to both work on yourself and plan the perfect apology. Coincidentally, the first day you’d be allowed to see her again, would be on valentines day, and since you had neglected the romantic side of Alessia for way too long this was the perfect time to change that.

So here you were, sitting in your car reminiscing all of your mistakes, when a noise from the house you stood in front of earlier suddenly woke you up: Alessia. As she was locking her front door, you contemplated your next move. You had two options: leave quickly, with a chance of getting caught chickening out and thereby most likely ruining any chance you had left with her, or finally facing your fears and hoping for the best: getting your girl back.

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I hope to have part 2 out tomorrow, as it is the part that takes place mostly on valentines day. And maybe, just maybe it will have the actual Strawberry Song in it, that I wrote in a spur of the moment yesterday, but only if I gather the courage to actually post it, oops. We'll see I guess.

Update: Part 2 is out now (including the song I wrote!!)

#alessia russo #alessia russo x reader #alessia russo imagine #lionesses #lionesses x reader #muwfc x reader #woso imagine #woso fanfics #woso x reader #engwnt x reader

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andro-studiesmed · 4 months ago

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JOURNAL ENTRY - July 24, 2024

I failed my physiology written exam and practical. I was anticipating the written exam but I was pretty sure I did well enough in my practical to be able to pass it but I didn't and I don't know what to do about it.

I feel sluggish. Slow and sluggish and stuck and I'm really struggling with speaking about it. Like my mind and my brain isn't my own. That's why I'm writing about it but the problem is I am also struggling writing about it.

I was never really verbal about my emotions because I could never. Even when I first went for therapy years ago— I would have to be able to write things out on paper to be able to make her understand. The thing is I know she never really read them and so I only did it for once.

But I'm feeling so much right now— and I'm failing at even writing about it.

So I'll enumerate it —

1) I failed an important exam and I'm scared that I will fail the final one too.

2) I don't know what I feel. I feel something too intensely? But I also feel unable to say it? I feel frozen? But it's not frozen. It's as if I'm choking on the things I wish I could say.

3) I feel stuck and I feel I want to move at the same time. I feel restless.

4) body doubling would help overcome this. I'm really confused.

5) I am having trouble with organising my thoughts or making plans; it's more of a I can definitely make a plan if I tried but I don't know where to start and what to start.

6) I need more friends who have audhd. So I don't feel so alone.

7) I definitely need a study buddy who I can discuss things with and also body double with.

Oh and yes, I love studying but I hate memorising. I can study for hours (inconsistently) but I can't for the love of my life be able to easily make or force myself to memorise things and revision is a struggle of whole another level. So what should I make of this? I wish I had answers.

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steponmeinejghafa · 1 year ago

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First Bench Pt.5 (TW)

Summary: With exams coming up, you withdraw from everyone, including your family, and it takes a toll on you. Zoya tries comforting you to the best of her capabilities, but after you keep pushing her away, she gets fed up and confronts you.

Word Count: 3.4k

Warnings: Breakdown, stress, crying, self-deprecating thoughts, mentions of an attempt at self harm.

First Part

Second Part

Third Part

Fourth Part

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Exam season. You dreaded it. Were you smart? Of course you were. Were you human? Unfortunately, yes. Naturally the stress of having to get good marks was pressurising you, and honestly, with the whole issue with Zoya, it was getting worse.

It had been two weeks since the party now. Since then, you had been cold and curt with Zoya, ignoring her unless she made one of her usual comments, or just to gloat about your marks at her.

“Hey,” Nina said softly that morning as she entered class. You had a huge headache and you were stupid enough to make the decision to ignore it and came to school. “How’re you feeling?”

“My head is killing me,” you groaned. “I feel like I have a hangover.”

“Morning, Brekker,” Zoya said, smacking your head gently with her book as usual. “Had too much to drink last night? You look awful.”

“I know I still look better than you, Nazyalensky,” you snapped. “Keep to yourself if you know what’s good for you.”

Zoya rolled her eyes, hurt pinging in her heart. Two weeks. It had been two weeks since you both had last spoken decently to each other. She kept trying to make it like before, but she couldn’t. All you did was snap at her rudely and then ignore her.

“Still crushing your heart?” Nina raised a brow. “And clearly crushing hers in the process?”

You scoffed, “She has no heart. Let it go.”

“Alright,” shrugged the girl. She handed you some headache pills and said, “Have these when you feel the headache coming in stronger, okay?”

You nodded, distracted. You were already calculating what all you were supposed to do that day after your tutoring session with Zoya. Cover the last history chapter, do a bit of math, redraw your maps for practice and so much more.

“Everyone,” the teacher called for your attention, “I hope you have been working hard on your project work, because it’s due in two days, so just a heads-up.”

“Is your mediocre work ready, Nazyalensky?” You asked, looking at her. “I need to add it to my far better work and edit it more, obviously.”

“Oh please,” Zoya scoffed. “Calling my work mediocre would make your work trash, Brekker.”

You shrugged, “My grades display otherwise.”

“Saints, something went seriously wrong between them,” Nikolai mumbled to Mal, who was sitting on the seat beside him. “I miss the playful banter.”

“Me too,” admitted the other boy. “I wish they’d just admit their feelings to each other, honestly.”

“Never gonna happen,” Alina turned around and said to them. “They’re both stubborn donkeys.”

—Time Skip—

“Y/n, come on, it’s time for dinner,” Nina said that evening as you sat at your tiny desk, studying hard. You had only just come home from your tutoring session with Zoya, tension-filled as usual.

“I’ll eat later,” you dismissed her with a wave of your hand.

She sighed. You had been doing this for days now. They all would eat together, while you slaved away at your desk without a break. At times one of them would go to the living room at two a.m to see you with a lamp on the dining table, your books strewn about there while you memorised something quietly. You hadn’t spent more than twenty minutes that week with them, and it was beginning to worry them all.

You got up and moved your things out of the room when Nina and Inej went to bed after having studied for a little while, and sat down at the dining table with a cup of coffee Mrs Romanov handed to you.

You were stressed. Far too stressed. In the night time you were holed up at your desk, in the day you were tired and irritable, your body taut with effort and exertion.

Sometimes when you couldn’t remember something, you would nearly break down into tears. You had to make sure you got top marks. Your reputation was at stake. You thought that if you didn’t, the others would think you were a failure and that your scholarship was a waste.

Zoya noticed everything. She noticed how you didn’t come to lunch in the cafeteria, how you were always taking a nap in you spare time between lessons, how your beautiful eyes now had bags under them, and how you were getting progressively more irritable in your tutoring sessions.

One day, everyone had a free period because the teachers were all called to the principal’s office for an urgent staff meeting. While everyone milled about and chatted with their friends, played small games with each other, and just had fun, you were quietly reading your textbook, politely turning down any invitations given to you to join them all.

You were covering geography, and there was a part you were quizzing yourself with. Suddenly, your mind went blank and you couldn’t remember a single thing of what you had memorised.

Impossible. You had memorised nearly the whole book!

You started mumbling the start of the answer again and again, but the rest was just not coming to you. Panic seized your whole body. The exams were in five days, you could not blank out now!

You slipped out of the classroom, hopefully unnoticed and went to the bathroom to try to compose yourself. However, you weren’t as discreet as you thought you had been, because just as you left the classroom, Zoya noticed and followed soundlessly behind.

You reached the bathroom and splashed water on your face, but the voices which were already whispering in your head were louder now.

It was such an easy chapter, you don’t deserve to get the marks you have.

So pathetic, you will never be as good as Zoya or Inej, or anyone for that matter.

So far it’s been easy. You’re too dumb to do this.

You should’ve stayed in Kerch and let Pekka gut you clean like a fish.

You’re such a failure. Always have been.

“I can’t do this,” you whispered, your hand going into your pocket as the other gripped the basin tightly, while your breathing picked up. You felt for the small pocket knife you always carried, and finally extracted it from the fabric of your jacket.

“God, I’m a failure,” you sobbed softly, your legs feeling weak. You backed up against a wall and slid to the floor, your knees up against your chest as you dissolved into a panic attack slowly and painfully.

“Brekker, what in the name of the Saints are you-“ Zoya froze upon seeing your sobbing figure, and felt her heart stop in her chest as her eyes landed on the open pocketknife in your hand as well as your rolled up sleeve.

“Hey,” she said in a far gentler tone, trying to catch your attention as your chest heaved and your pale hands quaked. “Brekker, come on, look at me.”

“Z-Zoya?” Your eyes finally focused on her. “I can’t breathe, Saints I can’t breathe…”

“I know, I know,” she grabbed your hands in hers and gently rubbed her thumbs over the backs of them hesitantly. “Try breathing with me, come on.”

You nodded, the voices a little less loud in your ears now. She guided you through your panic attack, her voice slowly overpowering the ones in your head till they were once more just whispers.

Zoya’s heart was pounding in her chest. Sure, you were having a panic attack, but you said her name. You called her by her name for the first time. Not Nazyalensky. You called her Zoya.

“Feeling better?” She asked, her hands still in yours as she knelt in front of you. You didn’t reply and she frowned in concern, “Y-Y/n?”

You snapped out of your thoughts immediately, your heart fluttering again. No, you can’t. You crushed the feeling again, just how you had been doing these last few weeks.

“Did-did you just call me Y/n?” You whispered nonetheless, shocked.

“Um,” she panicked and shook her head, “I figured I’d grace you with that gift now that you addressed me by my first name.”

“We’re on a first name basis now?” You sniffled with a raised brow. Your walls went up around your heart again. You would not fall for her. You refused to.

“Seems like it?” She smiled, hoping things were back to normal.

“You wish, Nazyalensky,” you spat, standing up. “Leave me alone, thanks. And don’t breathe a word about this to anyone.”

She scowled, “You’re such an ungrateful asshole, Brekker. I helped you with that panic attack, and you have the gall to talk to me like I’ve violated you or something!”

“I didn’t need your help!” You exclaimed, fear gripping your heart in a chokehold.

I can’t let this happen. No, no, no.

“Really?” She scoffed. “You didn’t need my help? You were about to fucking cut yourself, and you’re telling me you didn’t need help?”

“Not from you,” you seethed.

“Fuck you, Brekker,” she scowled and opened the door to the bathroom.

“Get out of my face, Nazyalensky,” you replied.

That hurt. That one hurt her so badly, Zoya wanted to cry. She genuinely wanted to make sure you were okay, but all you did was push her away. All you did was act nasty towards her, and it was pissing her off.

“Watch me, Brekker,” she mumbled to herself. “I will find out what the hell is going on in that dumbass head of yours.”

She called Nina to her desk as she reached class and said softly, “Nina, could you please make sure Brekker’s okay? She’s been acting up lately.”

Nina sighed, “She’s not an easy person when she gets stressed. She’s been acting up with us as well. I think it’s the exams.”

“Maybe. Just…just take care of her, okay? I’m worried,” Zoya admitted. Seeing Nina’s knowing gaze she hastily added, “Because I need my opponent to be healthy for competition, obviously.”

“Whatever, Zoya,” laughed the girl as she walked away.

—Time Skip—

You sat silently with Zoya that evening in the library. It was completely deserted today, everyone went home early to study, clearly.

“Brekker,” she said, hitting you over the head with her pencil as you nearly dozed off again. “Focus.”

“I am focusing, Nazyalensky,” you snapped. “Saints, maybe if you didn’t drone on like a boring priest, I’m sure I could focus properly.”

“Well maybe if you stopped stressing out so much, maybe you might find my boring, priestlike droning useful,” she replied, her brow raised.

Honestly, you were really so trying sometimes. Her patience was wearing thin.

“Saints, why did Reznik have to shove us together?” You grumbled under your breath, but she heard it in the silence of the library.

She’d had enough now.

“Alright, that’s it,” she threw down her pencil onto her book and glared at you. “It has been two weeks since the…incident, and all you have been towards me is vile, hateful, and angry. What the hell is going on with you? I have tried to be nice, hell I tried to help you through your panic attack, but what the fuck did I do to earn this much hate?”

You shook your head and stood up with a stack of reference books in hand to put them back. “Don’t read into it, Nazyalensky.”

She stood up and followed you, saying, “You have been distant from me, from your friends, everyone! Why?”

You continued putting books in their places, moving around to find the empty spot where the right ones were. “None of your business,” you said curtly.

She breathed in deeply, tamping her frustration down. “Brekker, as much as I hate to say it, I’m worried about you. That panic attack in the bathroom today was no little thing.”

You felt your hand clench into a fist and tried not to cry. “Please don’t mention my episodes of anxiety. Besides, it wasn’t that bad. I could’ve managed.”

Zoya resisted the urge to slap you silly. “Wasn’t that bad? Brekker, I walked in to see you almost put a knife to your arm. That, in case you didn’t know, is called self-harm. People get professional help for that sort of thing,” she put a hand on your wrist, making you unclench your fist. Her voice was soft, concerned as she continued, “Please, Brekker, talk to someone, if not me. I get why you won’t talk to me. But for Saint’s sake, get some help.”

You hated it when people talked to you that way. With that false concern in their voices. Saying ‘talk to someone’. You were fine. At least, you thought you were. Wasn’t stress normal?

“No,” you said forcefully, shaking her hand off your wrist. “Keep your false concern to yourself, Nazyalensky.”

Saints, you craved her skin on yours again, but you couldn’t. You shouldn’t.

Zoya caught your arm and pulled you to face her, risking a punch to the face. You looked angry. Genuinely angry at her. But she didn’t care.

“Who hurt you?” She asked, her dark eyes gleaming with something you didn’t know. “Who the hell hurt you so badly, that you decided to hurt yourself? That you ended up hurting others around you? Those who love you? Nina, Inej, Kaz, the whole lot of them are worried sick, Brekker! I have been worried sick!”

Your angry expression melted away, and your blazing eyes filled with tears which you tried to keep at bay. Your breath rattled in your chest as you turned away from her, saying softly, “It doesn’t matter.”

Exasperated, Zoya exploded at you, “It does matter, Y/n! You matter! People care about you so much, and—“ she tried making sure her voice didn’t crack with desperation, but failed. “I care about you!”

“Y-you-you called me ‘Y/n’ again,” you whispered, tears sill brimming in your eyes, threatening to spill. The same shock which held your heart in a fist in the bathroom earlier came back.

Your name sounded beautiful coming from her lips…

“Saints damn it all,” Zoya whispered under her breath. She looked back at you and hesitantly took the books from your hand and placed them on a pile nearby.

She held your hands in hers slightly, just curling her palms around your fingers, as she said, “I care about you so much, Y/n. I-I love you, and-and seeing you so hurt makes my heart ache terribly for some reason. I-I just want you to be okay. Since the day you walked into that damned classroom, I have been madly in love with you, and I don’t know what to do because you clearly hate me.”

Your voice was barely a whisper as you looked down, heart racing as the tears welled up more in your eyes, blurring your vision. “I don’t hate you…”

“Then why have you been acting like it?” She sounded hurt, and it made your heart break.

Down came the walls, crumbling to rubble as you let the tears fall. You shook your head, saying, “I got scared, Zoya. I got so fucking scared. I was scared you were going to use me to get ahead, I was scared that if we even did happen, I’d lose you too quickly,” the tears weren’t stopping, and your hands grew shaky as the emotions overwhelmed you. “I was scared that-that I love you so much, I would scale a mountain, cross an ocean, and kill a thousand men just to hold your hand and kiss your lips.”

She dropped your hands and held your face in her hands, wiping your tears away with her thumbs.

Saints, those dark, dark eyes…you loved her eyes so much. Her touch was so gentle, you wanted more.

“I would never use you, Y/n,” she said, pulling you closer to her, holding your head in her palms so carefully that you felt it was a dream. “I would cut my hands off before before I’d even think of using you to get ahead. Honestly, you matter more than just some number on a sheet. And I mean that both in my context and in yours. You always matter more.”

She was so close, just a little further and you could kiss her.

“I’m sorry,” you said. “I’m so, so sorry, Zoya, for pushing you away. I was foolish to think that by withdrawing from you, my feelings would go away. It only made them stronger.”

Zoya felt a nervous knot in her stomach as she spoke the next words. “Y/n Brekker, top scorer of the Little Palace High School, may I have the privilege of being yours?”

Your heart leapt and raced so fast in your chest, yo we’re positive it was echoing in the library like a drumbeat. “Zoya Nazyalensky, second best scorer of the Little Palace High School, yes you may.”

“Really?” She smiled, her face glowing with happiness.

Your gaze skirted down to her lips and back to her eyes. “Saints, you have the most gorgeous eyes,” you admitted with a blush.

She laughed softly, a sound which filled you up with warmth so much that you wanted to just put it in a jar and keep it with you forever. “Do I, now?”

Your shy side came through, as you nodded, blushing redder. “Yeah.”

“Honestly, for someone so intimidating, you are so cute,” she chuckled.

“Saints, Zoya,” you said, flustered.

Zoya loved how you said her name. She loved how you said it so gently, as if it were a porcelain doll which could break at even the slightest bit of force.

She moved back and picked up the pile of books on the floor, putting them away as your brain processed what all just transpired.

Your feet moved without you controlling them, and Zoya turned around to see you standing behind her. “Saints, Brekker,” she chuckled. “You move like a cat. Soundless and-mph!” Her statement was muffled as you caught her by the waist and pressed your lips to hers, desire having taken over you.

Your mind went back to two weeks ago, in Nikolai’s library, where the kisses had been heated, lustful, and slightly sloppy. This time her lips were soft on yours, like a feather’s touch on your skin. Her hands cupped your face and she kissed back with a gentle force, smiling a little against your lips.

Your heart raced and your mind went blank again, and your thoughts only echoed one word.

Zoya, Zoya, Zoya.

When she pulled away panic seized you as you blushed and apologised profusely.

“I am so sorry, I should’ve asked first, I really don’t know what I’m doi-“ she caught you by the face again and pulled you in, kissing you softly to shut you up. Slowly, she backed you up against the bookshelf, your arms around her waist again, pulling her impossibly closer. Her body was flush against yours, and the only sound was that of the steady ticking of the library clock.

She pulled away, and your chests heaved with the desire for air.

“You’re not bad at kissing, I admit,” you giggled, your cheeks red.

Zoya’s cheeks were daintily dusted with pink, and she moved back to go towards the table.

“Come on now,” she said with a small smile, “Back to work.”

—Time Skip—

You came back home beaming, looking so happy that Kaz and the others paused eating to stare at you.

“You look stupidly happy,” said your brother. “Who’s got you grinning like an idiot?”

Jesper nudged him, “Zoya, obviously,”

You blushed and giggled at the sound of her name, making Nina slam her palms on the table, grinning madly, “You kissed her, didn’t you?!”

You giggled again and went to the kitchen, grabbing a plate for yourself, “Maybe….” You replied in a dreamy tone.

They all gasped collectively, and Nina and Jesper both squealed in excitement. “YOU KISSED HER!!”

You sat next to Inej, still blushing profusely as the thought of her lips on yours returned to you. “I’m sorry if I pushed you guys away…”

“No matter about that,” said Matthias, “We all know your academics matter a lot to you.”

“Exactly! You do this every time you get stressed, it’s not new,” said Wylan.

“I’m proud of you, Y/n,” said Kaz with a small smile.

“We need the gory details,” giggled Inej, resting her head atop yours.

You grinned and nodded, “Anything for my sisters.”

In the room, Inej and Nina sat on your bed while you narrated the entire incident in detail, squealing constantly till Mrs Romanov scolded you all to go to sleep.

—Time Skip—

The next day dawned appropriately bright, and you entered class with a spring in your step which everyone noticed.

“Y/n Brekker is back, everyone!” Announced Nikolai with an impish grin. “Good to see you smiling again, love.”

They were all around his desk, Alina sitting in Mal’s lap while the rest sat atop other desks in a loose circle.

“Never call me that again, Niko,” you grinned, ruffling his hair as you pulled up a chair to sit in, after putting your bag on your desk. “But yes, I’m back.”

You were laughing at something when you felt someone kiss the top of your head and whisper, “Good morning, darling,” in your ear.

Everyone went silent as Zoya sat in your lap, making herself comfortable.

“What?” She asked, brow raised at everyone.

“You and her…” Genya grinned. “Did you guys-“

“Yeah,” you nodded with a smile, wrapping your arms protectively around her waist.

“I NEED A BOOK ON THIS,” Nikolai loudly said, making everyone laugh as they congratulated you.

“It’s about time,” Alina chuckled. “We were getting tired of the constant banter.”

You chuckled and rested your head against Zoya’s back, smiling softly as she leaned into your touch

She was competition, yes.

But you loved her for it.

———————————————————————

Correction: this wasn’t the end. SiKe <3

Nevertheless, I hope you enjoyed it <3 special shout-out to @hungergames-who for being my biggest supporter in this <3 Please feel free to ask for imagines <3

#shadow and bone #fluff #angst #nina zenik #inej ghafa #jesper fahey #wylan van eck #kaz brekker #lesbian #wlw #female y/n #zoya the love of my life after inej #zoya the dragon queen of ravka #zoya of the garden #zoya nazyanelsky #zoya x reader #zoya nazyalensky x reader #first bench miniseries

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