#i owe you my life u are so kind to me and show me the light in the tunnel for my furry men that I love
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@belabellissima's tags on this post deserve a post of their own, i—
#muffled screaming YOU GET IT#i think the ghost watched jude pull the riskiest gambles and repeatedly come out on top—#bloodied but with what she wanted—and was like. oh shit. she's not just a spoiled gentry kid#so taryn shows up and it's like. hm. yikes. there might be two of them#i'm not sure i subscribe to the idea that he fell for her while she was married to locke#(i think his feelings toward locke had to be so ugly that taryn would've gotten wrapped up in that at least a bit)#but i do think he never underestimated her#and had he not been otherwise occupied. i think he immediately would've noticed her posing as jude#i know holly is trying to telegraph romantic interest at the end of qon with him watching her#but i read it more like “you're a potential bomb that could detonate at any moment; there's no way in hell i'm taking my eyes off you”#she knows his TRUE NAME#he owes her his life#but i think that level of suspicion and vigilance would very naturally become fascination and admiration#she's lovely and kind but crafty and underhanded all at the same time#she's just human enough to make him ache. but she's just fae enough to accept him#oops this got long#anyways bela LOVE your tags thank u for giving me thoughts to chew on#tfota#the folk of the air#taryn duarte#taryn x ghost#tcp#larkin gorm garrett#ghostposting#tarynposting
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my online shop carts are filled with miscellaneous merch of my favs we be a little silly
#so many people have been so sweet to me and gave me links to pages with a bunch of stuff#i owe you my life u are so kind to me and show me the light in the tunnel for my furry men that I love#I’m giving you all 5 billion dollars each thank you much 🥹🫶🏽#txt
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i keep thinking about that one bachelor au post so here's my take on it (i've never watched the bachelor or bachelorette so bear with me)
the bachelor au where steve's the bachelor and eddie is a contestant, but not because he actually wants to be, he's just in it for the paycheck. robin is also a contestant but only because her parents sent in her application without her knowing and she isn't out to them yet.
they both think that steve is overrated and definitely over hyped. typical rich kid with enough money to buy people's love, yada yada.
until they both start going on dates with him and then realize that it isn't exactly true. yes, he's rich, but he's also kind and funny and actually genuine once you get past the mask he puts on for everybody. eventually, eddie and robin find themselves looking forward to their dates.
only robin doesn't want to date him. he's slowly moving his way up the ranks to becoming her best friend, sure, but this is still tv. she's still expected to kiss him and confess her feelings for him. and when the time comes for her to do that, she can't.
they're in venice. steve is leaning in and robin is very aware of the cameras filming them. the back of her neck goes cold and her stomach churns and suddenly she's running in the opposite direction. her italian is passable so she ends up getting a taxi back to the hotel production put them in.
she locks herself in her en suite and presses her forehead against the cold porcelain. she doesn't know how long she sits there until her phone buzzes and she checks the notification. the nausea rises up her throat again. she forgot she gave steve her number.
there's a knock on her room door and another text.
r u ok? can i come in?
robin debates it but figures she owes him and explanation. she lets him in and they sit on the bathroom floor. robin tells him why she's on the show in the first place, about how she didn't know her parents signed her up until she got the phone call from the casting director. tells him that even if she gets kicked off, she can still use the money for her student loans.
she stares at the water in the toilet bowl when she comes out to him.
steve is quiet, processing, before he laughs. he's not laughing at her, he promises, but "robin. you're on a show with more than a handful of other queers, you know that, right? i'm bisexual."
and yeah, robin knew that, but it's different when you're not into the guy you're supposed to be romancing at all.
steve reassures her that it's okay, and that he still hopes they can be friends and keep in touch after the show ends.
robin would like that.
she apologizes to the production crew the next day and they're understanding and steve and robin get a re-do of their date. it's much more genuine this time, filled with laughs and digs as they eat gelato along the river and people watch and gossip.
it's the best robin's ever been on.
eddie, on the other hand. he's absolutely head over heels for steve, which is surprising even for him. he's trailer park trash, he's got absolutely nothing on steve harrington. not the name, not the money.
hell, the very first day, he insulted the guy's food choices right to his face without knowing it.
eddie wants the earth to give way underneath him and swallow him whole.
he plays it up on their first date, all fake niceties and empty smiles, until steve tells him point blank, "the guy that said the buffet was shit that first night? i want to get to know him."
eddie's flabbergasted.
steve opens up about all the fake people in his life, the ones who just take advantage of them and use him for their own gains. the ones who don't even bother to get to know the real him. the one that likes to play guitar and hang out with the gaggle of teenagers that follow him around all the time for some unknown reason.
he tells eddie about what he wants to do with his life, not what someone else has planned for him and eddie falls deeper and deeper.
this time, when steve leans in for a kiss, eddie doesn't shy away. their lips press together and it's the best goddamn kiss either one of them have ever had.
the show has a deadline, of course, and steve can't just spend all his time with eddie and robin. there are other contestants. robin knows her rose is strictly platonic and steve has already called her multiple times freaking out about his growing crush on eddie. she knows eddie has this in the bag.
the final night comes and the contestants have dwindled. there's only a small group of them left: eddie, robin, and another guy and girl they didn't bother learning the names of.
when steve chooses eddie after a moment of dramatic silence that kind of puts his own dm dramatics to shame, eddie doesn't hesitate to jump in steve's arms, wrap his legs around his waist, and plant a sloppy one on him right in front of the cameras.
#cj talks#something something steve goes on a tv show to find romance and ends up finding his romantic and platonic soulmates#steddie#steddie fic#cj writes#i liked being your schmuck#platonic stobin#the three muskequeers
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Family fun
"Hi, I'm Simon and I'm an alcoholic." Haha. I'm just kidding. I'm just a normal nineteen year old kid still living with his widowed father and his three brothers. Today I was suppose to go on a trip with my 4 friends - Michael, Nathan, Daniel and Connor. I was ready to leave, but suddenly my - always happy and kind dad - started screaming about me not doing enough for our family, not doing chores and he banned me to go on the trip. I texted my friends, but only Connor replied:"Better luck next time. C ya". Then my dad even took my phone from me. I have no idea what I have done, but I didn't question him right now. Maybe later when he cools off.
My brother Alex came downstairs and offered me to go with him to the store. He acted different. I can't tell why, but he kept teasing me, which he usually doesn't. He is the quiet one.
We got into the store. I went to get some vegetable and when I got back to him. He was standing there completely naked
"What the hell are you doing?"
"Hurry. Give my some clothes!!! I lost them!"
"How can you just loose your clothes you're wearing?!?"
"Doesn't matter. Give me something."
I gave him my jeans, my shirt, leaving me only with my socks, sweatshirt in my hand and my boxers. He put on the rest and then laughed as he took the sweatshirt from my hands and ran away.
I was standing in a storeonly in my underwear. How embarassing. Alex was standing outside of the store with a phone in his hand already recording and laughing
"What the hell is wrong with you today?"
"Haha. Nothing. Just... enjoying life."
We returned back home. Alex went to show my other two brothers how he humiliated me. I went upstairs to find my father in my bathroom completely naked. He held my phone in his hands and tried to take a nude.
"DAD! What are you doing?!"
He wasn't even shocked and kept trying to get a good photo.
"Oh hey, I was going through your phone and I found this Grindr app where most of the profiles had pictures like this. I thought that maybe it is a dating website and I might have a chance. Maybe I'll find someone there."
THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING
"Dad, please. Go away. And don't install that app. I'll explain that to you later."
He checked himself out again and then winked at me
"Don't act like this isn't the dick that made you. You owe me for that, you know"
Has everyone gone crazy this morning or what the fuck is happening?
I went downstairs, ready for some more weird stuff. But fortunately my two brothers - Joe and Kyle fought. Thank god. The most normal thing in our family that could be happening right now. I sat outside on the porch just briefly watching them fight.
But suddenly the fight turned into this
They made out passionately as many couples in love do. But THEY ARE MY BROTHERS!!!
"STOP! SOMEBODY EXPLAIN TO ME WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!!!"
All four of the stared at each other back and forth. My dad was the first one who started laughing, then the rest did too.
"What's so funny? Have you all lost your mind?"
"Oh come ooooon. It's just a prank, BRO" said my father
"Besides, would your brother that you secretly have a crush on let you do this?" Alex came to me and placed my hand on his abs, just going up and down and finally going down.
"How... Connor?"
"BINGO! You figured it out. We swapped bodies with everyone in your family just to mess with you. We discovered we could do that last night when we arrived at the campsite, but we decided to surprise you. So, what do you think?"
"Wait. What about my dad and my brothers? Where are they?"
"In the campsite hopefully. But they keep calling your phone, so that's why we took it from you. Seems like we might have some explaining to do. So, until we give these bodies back and might never use them again?" All four of them smiled.
I couldn't believe how perverted my freinds are. And I couldn't believe I didn't really protest.
A story from the inbox: Hello! I love your stories😍😍😍 can u write a story about some friends are doing prank by body swapping with his male family members?
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Hi anon with missing cillian request this side!!!😅😅
I just wanted to say ur work on cillian with nolan!reader was soooo good and was wondering if u could write one where she attends the award shows with him and chris and they include her in their speech
(Maybe nolan reader had given the book to her father🤷♀️🤷♀️)
And if u could include some sweet couple and parents moment that would be AWESOME!!!!!!
what a night | cillian murphy (nolan!reader)
when you heard cillian’s name being called at the 2024 oscars, you felt like a tearing up, but you promised you weren’t going to cry. eh, some promises were meant to be broken.
the audience stood up to applaud for your husband. he turned to you and kissed you. you made sure your lipstick didn’t get on him like it did before. “i’m so proud of you.” you whispered to him as he gave you a hug.
when he released you, he stepped aside and saw his father in law, christopher, ready to give him a hug. you were sure twitter was going to make memes about the hug. it was something you discovered recently about how your father was always casting cillian in his work. you saw many jokes about it that it made you genuinely laugh.
finally, cillian made it to the stage to receive his oscar. in a room full of people, he found you staring at him with eyes full of love and proudness.
“i’m a little overwhelmed. thank you to the academy. um, chris nolan and emma thomas it’s been the wildest most exhilarating most creatively satisfying journey you’ve taken me on over the last twenty years. i owe you more than i can say. thank you so much. and thank you for not firing me after you found out your daughter and i were dating.” he said as the audience laughed.
the camera showed chris and you laughing at his joke.
after thanking the crew and cast, he looked at you. “thank you for being my partner in life, the mother of our beautiful children, my best friend, you are my person. i love you.” your father watched as you teared up.
after cillian finished his speech, you were tapped on your shoulder by your father, who offered you a tissue. “thanks, dad.” you chuckled as you took it.
next it was time for best director, a category you were nervous for your father.
“and the oscar goes to . . . christopher nolan, oppenheimer.” steven speilberg announced. your father had done it, finally. he was an oscar winner. after eight nominations, he finally got his golden statue.
after he hugged and kissed emma, he walked to your direction. cillian was still backstage, but he was watching close by. your father hugged you for a few seconds then kissed your cheek.
“you did it!” you cheered.
“it’s yours too, love.”
when he got to the stage, he was greeted by steven and got handed his oscar. it was truly a surreal moment. he first thanked the studios and several people who helped make the film.
“to my daughter, you are the reason for this.” he held up the statue. “you have a brilliant mind and a kind soul and i’m extremely proud to be your father. you gave me the book that this film is based on and you helped create a masterpiece. thank you forever. i share this with you.” his words made you cry even more.
you blew a kiss to your father then wiped away a tear. it was a dream come true.
shortly after, cillian got back to his seat, golden statue in hand. “did i do okay?”
“you did it perfectly, my love.”
when it was time for best picture to be announced, you were a bit confused. you weren’t sure if al pacino was didn’t care or if he was joking, but your father’s film had won best picture. it was a weird way to announce it, but your father and the oppenheimer team walked to the stage to receive the award.
it was definitely a perfect way to end the night.
#cillian murphy one shot#cillian murphy x reader#nolan!reader#cillian murphy imagine#cillian murphy fanfic#cillian murphy
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Honestly, I’m getting tired. It’s literally bts pics from a tv show. He’s not even playing Jesus in the show. People are just looking for a reason to hate him at this point and it’s really pathetic. I was not okay with him posing with those guys and I felt like people had a genuine reason to be upset with him, but I also thought double standards were rearing its ugly head again. Let’s get mad at nick for posing with guys dressed as Lyle and Erik but let’s like and repost thirst edits of Nick and Cooper made up of scenes from a show where they play … Lyle and Erik Menendez. People are holding him to a standard that other celebrities aren’t held to. He can’t do anything without people picking him apart and “canceling” him. It’s honestly annoying.
YES YES YES 🗣️ louder for the cunts in the back!
nicholas chavez is not problematic.
so. i actually feel so bad for him because it must be so hard. he's just gotten popular how long ago... a month? two? and people are trying to cancel him so bad.
he can't do ANYTHING without getting hate - first people started bringing up his love life - since when is it anyone's business? calling him a bop, a man whore. people are feeling way too comfortable nowadays.
next ━ "nicholas doesn't support the brothers", "he doesn't give a fuck" ━ how can YOU know that. he doesn't owe anyone a ny thing. he doesn't need to be as vocal as cooper is about it ━ as i wrote in here aaand here. i honestly won't even talk about it anymore after this post because it's fucking annoying.
the picture with the dicks dressed as menendez brothers ━ disgusting. i'm not gonna defend this one because well. he could have refused to take it. he's a grown ass man, for gods sake. although, as i mentioned before, he is HUMAN. he is LEARNING how to be a big star, what he should and should not do. let's not pretend we are all angels, bffr. we all make mistakes, and sometimes we don't even realise we do something that might be considered wrong.
now... the (hot) god damn pictures... can we stop being so sensitive and fucking annoying!!!!!! 😁 i saw that post and thought that he looks so good, the brat dance made me smile sooo much ━ then i saw the comments... he is not. mocking. religion. he is not mocking your beliefs or your god.
"cancelling" an actor for being an... actor is fucking embarrassing. i just have to laugh.
why is everyone so obsessed with this man, with everything he does? why are haters the first ones in his comment section? god, even i am not that fast and i'm fucking obsessed with the guy. come on... people just hate to hate.
and! surprise! he doesn't owe you an apology ━ if you're offended by the pictures ━ because it's just the show. people think he dressed up as jesus for halloween... do your fucking research. read the caption. stop harassing the poor man i swear 😭
in this house we don't hate on nick ━ of course he needs to be held accountable for the menendez brothers picture, no explanation needed ━ but nothing else.
it's kinda funny because my man is just working, being an introvert and people think he's a soulless narcissist.
i guess people just hate rich, popular and hot men that live their best life... i kinda feel sorry for them, ngl.
and one more thing before i finish... nicholas' love life. the insults i've seen online are so concerning. why are people so comfortable to comment on other people's relationships? why do people believe everything they see on tiktok or twitter? calling him a "man whore" is wayyyy too much. like let this man breathe around another woman? or have female friends? god forbid talk to another woman...
i don't want to comment on his girlfriend because... i want need her man, why would i even talk about her 😭 i have my own opinion but lemme just not...
woof woof i'm yapping. but yes anon, i agree with you. 100%.
and finally! if u wanna talk about it (or just talk about nicholas...) then my dms are open!
and remember!!!! to treat people with kindness ♡ 🫧
(celebrities are also people).
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Ruben Dias x Reader - Not Ready Part 2/12
+18
Part 3 and Part 4 are out on my Patreon for FREE!
Readers sister dies in a tragic car accident, leaving reader and her boyfriend Ruben in the urgent custody of her niece and nephew. Readers life is suddenly flipped upside-down since having children hadn't been the plan for her and Ruben's life together. At least not now when his football career was reaching great new heights.
Enjoy! 💞
"So you're a...."
"Puppy mom. Jupp. That's what the ladies at the park call me."
"Well, damn." Your sister laughed. "Who would have thought?"
FaceTiming her on a Saturday morning was always as entertaining and chaotic. While you held up your new puppy for your sister to see, your niece and nephew Emmy and Vale fought each other for a chance to also get to see the dog.
"Kids kids, please." Your sister pleaded. "You're scaring the puppy."
"No, it's okay. He's still sleeping." You assured. The little pup sitrred in the palm of your hand. He had grown so big during the few weeks you've had him. By now he could run around the apartment for hours on end.
"Auntie, Y/N, when can we come and see him." Your niece Emmy asked, but was pushed out of view by her little brother.
"What's his name Auntie, Y/N. Tell us his name!"
"I asked her first." Emmy groand and soon the children were fighting again.
"Hey, hey!" You shouted from your end. "Quit it you too!"
They settled down immediately to their mother's relief. "Thank you. Now you see what I have to deal with everyday."
You beamed at your screen as all three of them appeared with their cheeks squeezed together in order to fit into the small frame.
You tilted your phone, once again showing off the sleeping puppy. The children gasped in delight.
"His name is Iker." You smiled. "And hopefully you can all come and see him during your next school break."
"Yay!" The children erupted in joyful cheers, spilling out in the kitchen and around they're mother.
"Remind me to buy you a birthday gift." She smiled.
"No. Absolutely not. You owe me nothing sis. You've practically raised me since I was a baby. I owe my life to you."
"Well, that's very kind of you to say. Although true, I really want to give you something for your birthday. It's not everyday you turn twenty-five."
"Ugh, please don't remind me."
"Remind you of what?" Ruben said, walking into the kitchen, dressed in a two piece Manchester City tracksuit.
"How old I am." You said, shifting your phone for Ruben to see that you were in a FaceTime call with your sister.
"Oh. Hi Liza. Didn't see you there."
"Hello, Ruben. I see you're ready for the big game."
Ruben approached the kitchen table where you sat, greeting you with a kiss on the cheek. He leaned towards your phone, making sure that his Man City badge was visible on the screen. "Trust me Liza, City will bring it home this season once again."
"You wish." Liza snorted "Chelsea's got it together this year. I'll bet my money on that."
"Well don't bet too much of it."
"Ha ha."
Ruben moved away from the screen but just then Vale popped up. "Hi Uncle Ruben. Do you want to see my tooth." He held his mouth open with his hands, showing off his gums.
"Hi buddy." Ruben returned to the screen, his chin now resting on your shoulder. "I heard you got a visit from the tooth fairy not too long ago. Looks like she got you good, eh."
You nudged him with your elbow. Ruben chuckled, and turned to nibble at your ear.
"Just kidding buddy. You can barely tell that your tooth is missing. I promise. "
Again, your elbow found Ruben's ribcage.
"Looks like I've got to go." He groand. "Say hello to your sister for me."
"Ruben!" Emmy popped up on the screen at the mention.
"Hi sweetheart. How are you?"
"Good. Are you going to play football today?"
"Yes, I am. I was just on my way." He said, looking at you with a hand rubbing his stomach.
"Well.....then we've only got one thing to say?"
"Oh yeah, and what is that?" Ruben turned back to the screen. The children, including your sister, backed up for him to see all three of them while they chanted: "CHELSEA! CHELSEA!" And then bursting into a heartfelt laughter before hanging up the phone.
"I'm so sorry, Ruben."
"Are you?" His cheeks blossomed. "Are you really?"
"Yes." You said, but struggled to hold in your own laughter. "It's just that they're such hard core Chelsea fans. My whole family is."
"But you're not, right?"
"Right."
He leaned in and kissed your lips. "Good. I'll see you at the game."
"Bye bye papa." You held up the dog as Ruben left the kitchen. He blew you both a kiss before leaving the apartment to yourself.
Nevertheless, you didn't have time to do much before the game started. You made sure to walk Iker before you left him with a sitter a.k.a, Laleh. Who insisted on calling you while you were at The Etihad stadium, watching Man City's season opener game against Chelsea.
"So, a dog instead of a ring, eh?"
"Stop it Laleh, we've been over this."
"Over what?" She barked. Or it was Iker who barked, you couldn't tell sitting amongst the cheering fans.
"If Ruben wanted to propose to me he would have." You said. "There is no need to rush things. Besides, the two of us owning a dog is already enough commitment."
"Are you sure he sees himself as an owner and not just you?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, he bought you the dog as a gift. That makes you the sole owner of Iker not Ruben."
"It does?"
"Mhm. Seems like he tricked you girl."
"Stop it Laleh." You sighed. "Can't you be happy for me? Just this once?"
Again someone barked.
"No." Laleh muttered. "Not if it makes me the babysitter to a little beast. Is he even potty trained?"
"Oop, got to go girl, the game is starting." The game was actually coming to end, with Man City having butchered Chelsea with a 2-0 victory. A result that Ruben would be more than pleased with.
"You feel so good baby. So tight and so wet."
You came home that night with Ruben practically escorting you towards the bedroom. There he did unspeakable things to you while riding off the high of his team's exhilarating first victory of the season.
"I love you so much, baby. Have I told you that?"
Things slowed down towards the end, with Ruben's cock still buried deep inside of you, however, his bare hips rolled against you slowly, savoring every moment that you took him into you.
"I love you so fucking much." He groaned into the crook of your neck, bottoming out. "I want us to stay like that forever, me, buried deep inside of your pussy."
"Yes, forever." You mumbled, drunk from the spine ripping pleasure.
"Fuck, you feel so good baby, so...fucking good." His release came in floods, the condom he wore filling up at the tip. Your walls clench around Ruben's wide shaft and soon you too rode the hills of your back arching orgasm. The two of you then lay quiet in the night. Unmoveable, but still attached to each other beneath your hips. Ruben didn't pull out until he was completely lank, tightening a knot around the condom before throwing the rubber into the nearest bin. The two of you then cuddled each other until you fell asleep, Ruben drifting deeper into sleep than you did.
It was lucky that Ruben did not wake up when your phone vibrated against the nightstand, pulling you out of your brief slumber.
"Hello, Emanuel?" You rubbed your tired eyes at the sight of his name lighting up your screen. Emanuel was the name of your sister's husband, the father of your niece and nephew.
"Y/N....is that you?"
"Emmy?" You perked up at the sound of her sniffles. "Emmy what's wrong?"
"Daddy won't stop crying."
"What?" A sudden fear clenched your heart. "Is something wrong with your dad? Where's mom?"
"She's not coming back."
"Emmy, please. You're scaring me." You sat up. "Please, put mommy on the phone."
The escalation of your niece's cries sparked through your phone. "Daddy is crying because he says that mommy is not coming back. She's never coming back."
Part 3 and Part 4 are out on my Patreon for FREE!
#fanfiction#football imagine#footballer x reader#footballer imagine#football angst#ruben dias#man city#manchester city#ruben dias x reader#ruben dias imagine
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SPOILERS AHEAD FOR SUFFERING GAME GRAPHIC NOVEL
Okay SO. Everyone has some thoughts on this one for sure as I have seen. A lot of people are saying they took a lot from Wonderland and that it's a disappointment as an adaptation but here's the thing: I have viewed the books as separate canon from the podcast since around Crystal Kingdom. I don't necessarily see it as a faithful adaptation but as a cool way to get more people into the story without giving EVERYTHING away in case they decide to listen. However, that being said, I have some things to say. I'm going to start with the negative first because even though I LOVED this book I so have some things I will miss about it (but please understand that I LOVED THE BOOK SM GUYS, I will ofc be adding what I loved after this part)
My Issues/Things I Wish Were Included:
Magnus trying to find his own answers with the voidfish. I was really looking forward to how they would show and represent that!
"I'm afraid no one else will have me" was such a good scene, I really liked the vulnerability Taako showed then because aside from his scene in Petals we haven't seen a whole lot of that from him in the books (again, I veiw the books as separate canon, but it would be nice to see)
CAM! I missed Cam so much he was delightful
No Boss Rush
I don't like that they basically forced Magus to decide if he wanted to lose Julia and never mention Gov. Kallen at all. That was such an impactful moment and they kind of side stepped it unfortunately
Trust or Forsake is missing which is also unfortunate
A lot of what made Wonderland interesting is either spedrun or absent so they kind of took the Wonder out of Wonderland
Taako giving up his beauty is also gone! Which sucks ass! My only true issue with this book that I genuinely was heartbroken over. I understand it can be a hard thing to show, especially when it runs the risk of someone in real life looking at the design and going "ow, that looks like me!'. So like. I get it. I really do. But they cut so much of Podcast!Taako's growth in Book!Taako's character that it was a sore spot for me personally.
If they let Johann live in the next book I will be very upset
SPEAKING OF NEXT BOOK!! Now that I have all my negative out of the way ohohoh boy I'm gonna share the positives I have with it. Given that, again, I view the books as separate story than the podcast, I thought they did a wonderful job overall. Solid 8/10 for me! Here are the things I am still screaming about
Things I adore about this book and will be living rent free in my head forever
TAAKO AND KRAVITZ KISS LIKE 5 PAGES IN AND I SCREAMED CAREY ATE WITH THAT
Merle's kids 😭😭😭
JOHANN IS ACKNOWLEDGED IN THIS ONE RAAAAAAAA I WAS SO WORRIED THEY WERE TRYING TO CUT HIM OUT
I love the redesign of Wonderland looking like a circus instead of a roulette wheel, I liked that a lot
Kravitz calling Taako to tell him to be safe,,, the call getting cut off,,,, pain
I loved the wheel it looked so cool
Edward and Lydia were giving Velvet and Veneer and I am HERE FOR IT
Heart Attack my beloved 🥰
ARMS OUTSTRETCHED!!!!!!!!
WHAT DO YOU MEAN TAAKO SAW KRAVITZ IN THE TAR??? WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE TRIED TO SAVE HIM?????? MCELROY FAMILY AND CAREY WHEN I GET YOU-
Seeing the umbra staff (*cough cough* Lup) BEAT THE SHIT out of Edward was lovely, no notes
HOW GRIFFIN DISAPPEARED!!! I WAS HOPING THEY WOULD DO THAT!!!
BLUEJEANS REVEAL
The Umbra Staff jumping into Barry's arms 😭😭😭
Taako having STATIC IN HIS EYES seeing the staff and Barry together CAREY PLEASE
MERLE SEEING JOHN, THIS IS NOT A DRILL PEOPLE
L U P SHE IS SO FUCKING BEAUTIFUL I CRIED I AM SO GLAD THEY GAVE HER LONG HAIR TOO!!
GOD THE BOOK ENDED WHERE I WANTED IT TO AND THEN SOME ACTUALLY (I thought it would end with the line "Lucretia, what have you done???" BUT MAN I'M NOT MAD IT WENT ON A BIT LATER)
THE IPRE PAINTING. THEM. THEY. ALL OF THEM. I AM DYING. MY CROPS ARE WATERED AS SHIT.
#I love this book so much guys#SO MUCH#taz#the adventure zone#taz balance#justin mcelroy#griffin mcelroy#travis mcelroy#clint mcelroy#taz suffering game#taz gn#taz gn spoilers
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i keep thinking about that one bachelor au post so here's my take on it (i've never watched the bachelor or bachelorette so bear with me)
the bachelor au where steve's the bachelor and eddie is a contestant, but not because he actually wants to be, he's just in it for the paycheck. robin is also a contestant but only because her parents sent in her application without her knowing and she isn't out to them yet.
they both think that steve is overrated and definitely over hyped. typical rich kid with enough money to buy people's love, yada yada.
until they both start going on dates with them and then realize that it isn't exactly true. yes, he's rich, but he's also kind and funny and actually genuine once you get past the mask he puts on for everybody. eventually, eddie and robin find themselves looking forward to their dates.
only robin doesn't want to date him. he's slowly moving his way up the ranks to becoming her best friend, sure, but this is still tv. she's still expected to kiss him and confess her feelings for him. and when the time comes for her to do that, she can't.
they're in venice. steve is leaning in and robin is very aware of the cameras filming them. the back of her neck goes cold and her stomach churns and suddenly she's running in the opposite direction. her italian is passable so she ends up getting a taxi back to the hotel production put them in.
she locks herself in her en suite and presses her forehead against the cold porcelain. she doesn't know how long she sits there until her phone buzzes and she checks the notification. the nausea rises up her throat again. she forgot she gave steve her number.
there's a knock on her room door and another text.
r u ok? can i come in?
robin debates it but figures she owes him and explanation. she lets him in and they sit on the bathroom floor. robin tells him why she's on the show in the first place, about how she didn't know her parents signed her up until she got the phone call from the casting director. tells him that even if she gets kicked off, she can still use the money for her student loans.
she stares at the water in the toilet bowl when she comes out to him.
steve is quiet, processing, before he laughs. he's not laughing at her, he promises, but "robin. you're on a show with more than a handful of other queers, you know that, right? i'm bisexual."
and yeah, robin knew that, but it's different when you're not into the guy you're supposed to be romancing at all.
steve reassures her that it's okay, and that he still hopes they can be friends and keep in touch after the show ends.
robin would like that.
she apologizes to the production crew the next day and they're understanding and steve and robin get a re-do of their date. it's much more genuine this time, filled with laughs and digs as they eat gelato along the river and people watch and gossip.
it's the best robin's ever been on.
eddie, on the other hand. he's absolutely head over heels for steve, which is surprising even for him. he's trailer park trash, he's got absolutely nothing on steve harrington. not the name, not the money.
hell, the very first day, he insulted the guy's food choices right to his face without knowing it.
eddie wants the earth to give way underneath him and swallow him whole.
he plays it up on their first date, all fake niceties and empty smiles, until steve tells him point blank, "the guy that said the buffet was shit that first night? i want to get to know him."
eddie's flabbergasted.
steve opens up about all the fake people in his life, the ones who just take advantage of them and use him for their own gains. the ones who don't even bother to get to know the real him. the one that likes to play guitar and hang out with the gaggle of teenagers that follow him around all the time for some unknown reason.
he tells eddie about what he wants to do with his life, not what someone else has planned for him and eddie falls deeper and deeper.
this time, when steve leans in for a kiss, eddie doesn't shy away. their lips press together and it's the best goddamn kiss either one of them have ever had.
the show has a deadline, of course, and steve can't just spend all his time with eddie and robin. there are other contestants. robin knows her rose is strictly platonic and steve has already called her multiple times freaking out about his growing crush on eddie. she knows eddie has this in the bag.
the final night comes and the contestants have dwindled. there's only a small group of them left: eddie, robin, and another guy and girl they didn't bother learning the names of.
when steve chooses eddie after a moment of dramatic silence that kind of puts his own dm dramatics to shame, eddie doesn't hesitate to jump in steve's arms, wrap his legs around his waist, and plant a sloppy one on him right in front of the cameras.
#steddie#steddie ficlet#platonic stobin#the three muskequeers#something something steve going on a tv show to find romance and ending up finding both his romantic and platonic soulmates#cj talks#prompts
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Could I request a reader x gojo mafia!au sort of where reader is the married partner of gojo and has a pair of twin sons(who mostly looks like the reader n love their mama unconditionally 🥹💗) with gojo.reader n gojo had an arranged marriage because reader comes from an extremely powerful n wealthy family and after their marriage,gojo sort of quit his playboy life while reader doesn't hate him but doesn't love him either and has kids w him just to maintain the position as the mistress ( not in the sexual manner ) of the gojo family and just enjoys her life with all the luxuries which serve her and is basically so adored by the gojo family(gojo family here could include geto,nanami,megumi,yuji,shoko,mei mei,maki etc) n her family that's it's most like worshipping low-key.so basically gojo goes to a strip club for a business deal and there's this crazy stripper who becomes obssesed with him and tries seducing him but it doesn't work on him so basically the stripper goes stalker mode and tries hurting his wife n kids n even him but reader slyly finds out and puts her back in her place because reader always has been a bad bitch n forever will be one 💅🏼. now if u add smut,i won't mind it lol but it's not necessary,i just am craving badass n low-key evil n sexy rich wife n mom vibes for the reader
I don't love him, but I want to be with him
paring: Mafia boss Gojo x Wife reader
warnings: Mentioned sex, Swearing, violence, strip club
Words: over 3k
"You whore!" screamed the woman holding her hand over her mouth where she felt her tooth chipped off.
"Me a whore? Compared to you, I have a husband and two children. I don't betray him and I won't betray him." you replied massaging the magic knuckles on your fist. Sore from the impact.
"You don't even love him! You can't be his wife and be with him when there's no feeling between you!" she screamed crying through the pain in her mouth
"I don't love Satoru. But I want to be with him. Is it so hard?"
"Ow... Fuck... My tooth..." she moaned as she stood up.
"If you don't have teeth, now you'll be able to do your job more easily. You're a stripper, so giving ass is your job too. Like a whore."
"You–!"
"Don't interrupt me when I'm talking. Satoru shows no interest in you at all. To him, you're just a whore who makes money shooting her bare ass in front of guys."
"He's-"
"He was nice? During business he couldn't say no. You don't know how much he loves his children. That's why you don't stand a chance. Know your place in go back to the club to pole dance for others." You turned around and started walking forward on the sidewalk. The sound of your boots echoed. Suddenly you stopped. "Good advice to you, never get in the way of my family again. Or your life will turn into a lot worse than it ever was."
Your marriage was arranged. None of you wanted it.
But the longer you were together, the more comfortable it got.
You don't know if Satoru loves you or if he just feels some kind of attachment.
He may just consider you a member of his family.
After all, you are the mother of his two sons.
Two boys who love their dad, and they show it to him.
You never wanted to raise them to turn their backs on their father.
You don't want them to be brought up to hate someone from the start.
Your sons love you.
Whenever Satoru is not at home, they are with you.
For them, you are always with your husband. You couldn't betray him because you know he gave up his pleasures for you.
Your husband has always been a playboy. He played with different women, when you heard that he was going to be your husband, all you thought about was that to make your life with him easier. So no attachment to it. While he changes women like socks, you will do the same with men.
You weren't planning on liking him at all. You never planned to love him unconditionally.
You didn't plan on wanting a family with him.
Your one plan has worked.
You don't love him.
It doesn't mean you don't like him.
You don't love him, but you're with him because you're happy.
You feel attached to him. You're used to being his wife. You're used to seeing him every day. That you sleep in the same bed. That you kiss sometimes. That you hug.
You got used to being accepted into his family very quickly. To friends.
That you made a family together.
You don't love him, but you want to be with him.
You don't want anyone else because you want him.
Not just because he's good as a sex lover.
He is already your life lover. Because you don't want him to leave you. You want him to be who you live with.
You are together in such a nice way, for your children.
You don't know what that feeling might be because you didn't fall in love with it.
However, he does everything for you to make you feel like everyone loves you.
There is no love between you.
But you respect each other. You make both of you happy.
You want the best for each other, even if there is no such feeling between you.
Until finally, after some time with him, after your wedding, you could stand with him and your sons for a photo. With a smile that shows you're family.
And you will hate anyone who ever tries to destroy it. Because your children deserve the best.
You wanted a good life. And you were fine in the Gojo family.
That's why you bore him children...
But after they were born, that changed...
You're used to this family...
Maybe you don't love him, but you want to be with him.
Because here you are happy...
"What's going on?" you asked walking into your living room when you saw your husband sitting on the couch with his hand on his forehead.
"Hmm?" He grunted turning his head towards you. "(y/n)?"
"Something happened. You've never acted like this." You said, sitting down next to him. Being able to talk to him.
Your sons are in a private kindergarten. Or it could even be considered homeschooling... They will soon be five years old. Sometimes they study at home and sometimes away from home.
Your children who are twins have (h/c) hair and (e/c) eyes.
However, when you look at them, you see the features of their father's face. They also have something in their eyes that clearly indicates who their dad is. A clear sparkle in the eyes, showing that these eyes are special.
Besides, for six years you belong to the Gojo family, which is a very powerful mafia.
There are few family members who are related to Satoru. Most are dead now.
His friends make up his family.
"Something happened?" you asked him.
"No... How are the boys?" he asked, removing his hand from his face.
"They have an hour of study." You replied. "I've known you for a long time, and I know there's something you don't want."
"It's not like it bothers me, but I have a business meeting. One strip club. We used to go there when I wasn't married to you." He laughed.
"What's wrong with that?"
"I gave up my life as a womanizer for you and our children."
"I understand." You mumbled as you stood up.
"What do you understand?"
"You are a walking pervert. I know you haven't had sex in a long time and the moment some bitch turns on you, you're going to want to get your dick wet."
"You're cruel..."
"I'm only telling the truth." you shook your head with a small smile.
You got up and started walking forward.
"Satoru." you called.
He turned to look at you.
"We can go to the bedroom if you want." You waved at him.
Hearing this, he jumped off the couch and ran over to you.
"What have I done to deserve a beautiful wife like you?" He grinned wildly. "I don't tolerate blowjobs today. Maybe something wet? Can I put oil on you and massage you? Or a bathtub?"
His hand squeezed your buttock.
"Every time I try to be nice, you must be a pervert..."
"I? I did not do anything! You're the one who's offering me sex until the kids are gone." He moaned as he walked past you down the hall.
"Fine fine. Choose something you want." you murmured knowing that no matter what it is, it will be good for you.
Him as a mafia boss and you as his wife... No one expects your relationship to be anything other than money.
Maybe it is, but you're happy in this house. You have a family with him.
Even though you don't appear as a beautiful married couple in front of people, you are actually much closer when you are at home.
In your opinion, there would be nothing wrong with him having at least a little fun in this club. He met some women who would dance for him, touch him.
Maybe he gave up being a playboy too. But he must at least keep up appearances.
But you don't know if you want to know that he's cheating on you.
Even though your relationship is not for love.
You can't get used to holding his hand.
Even if that's what makes you happy.
The happiness of being in the family.
Happiness knowing that you have a partner with whom you will stay longer. Even if you don't love him...
You can kiss him, you can feel his hips hitting yours. You can hug him.
You will be close and you don't want to lose it.
A comfortable life together with the happiness that your children give you. And also he...
You won't let anyone hurt your children...
You won't let anyone destroy your family...
You won't let your happiness disappear...
You don't need wealth or anything his wealth can give you.
You just want the life you have now.
Seeing scantily clad women walking around the VIP floor, Gojo occasionally watched them.
But he was not seduced.
Thanks to you, his mind was clear, and he wasn't just thinking with his penis.
He could thank you and your body that he likes to touch so much.
Besides, he didn't want to be seduced by a woman who goes left and right.
He also cares about his family, and even though his sons often go with you, he still loves them.
And he wouldn't want them to have to live like he did when he was younger.
Simply put, his father was not afraid to bring different women into the house. Even if his mother was with him.
He didn't want that for his children.
He has left that life and is not coming back to it.
For the happiness of your family.
Arranged marriages were often just open relationships. After all, no one wanted to marry someone because others told someone to. People were married but no one cared about love.
Maybe it's the same with him, but he doesn't cheat and didn't want to be cheated on. For the sake of your children. you will be together.
In mafias, marriages are usually only for money and influence.
For example, that was the case with you.
He didn't expect it to ever change. That he will change.
But he loved his children... And he wanted you to be a normal family.
Since he knew you wanted to live next to him, he couldn't have done otherwise.
As women stroked his arms, thighs, and chest, he concentrated on talking to the man he was about to sign a contract with.
Nobody disturbed him.
Especially those women who knew that it would be best for them not to piss off a man who had a gun in his belt and could use it at any time.
Until another, more courageous one came along.
Other women have disappeared. Only she took their place on the couch.
"Bunny, long time no see, dear." Said a middle-aged man who was sitting in front of Gojo.
"Hello. I wonder who this handsome guy is. I don't think we've met yet ~." She purred, laying her head on his shoulder. Rubbing his biceps with his hands. Putting her bare thigh on his thigh.
"This is Gojo. I think you've heard that name, bunny~."
"oh yes! I heard that you are very powerful, rich, and so very handsome. But stories don't reflect the ideal~." she moaned, getting under his arm to snuggle against his chest.
Had he pushed her away, it would have been an unpleasant encounter. So he let her sit as she wanted.
Even though he knew getting rid of her might be a little difficult.
"Oh, Gojo. This is bunny. Our little bunny who is the cutest." said the man, taking a puff on his cigar.
"My wolf, I'm sorry, but this time I'm going to deal with another wolf. How about other bunnies take care of you?" she asked, massaging the white-haired'e inner thigh.
"I'd love to. A few more bunnies would be cute."
"Sorry to interrupt this conversation, but I'm in a bit of a hurry." Gojo said, looking at his watch.
It was true because you called him to pick up his sons at 6:00 p.m. from a class they wanted to attend because they enjoyed it.
"Oh, it's okay~. One dance, okay? That's the best for you. I do everything for handsome and rich people. And I like you more and more~." With that, she jumped into his lap, hugging his head against her chest. He swayed his hips slightly as she sat on him.
"I'm really in a hurry." He said emotionlessly, pushing her lightly and pulling her off his lap.
"Another meeting? I understand you're busy. So be it. These conditions are appropriate. The contract will be concluded." said the man signing the contract before handing the paper to Gojo.
Without a word, Gojo got up and started to leave, followed by Megumi and Yuji in turn.
Little did he know that this thing was the beginning of his misfortunes. Of which he did not know how they ended.
"Hey handsome!"
He looked at the woman who was standing next to their car, her hip resting on the cold metal.
"A pain in the ass..." Megumi growled, mirroring Gojo's thoughts.
As they approached, the woman lunged forward, tugging his tie down.
At the same moment, Yuji moved to let her go.
He was supposed to protect Gojo, so he wanted to commit.
The tall man's hand stopped him.
Seeing this, the woman smiled.
"Gojo-sama~ the VIP rooms are best decorated. Your meeting can wait. I'm going to wear a new outfit especially for you, which I'm supposed to wear from next week~."
As he placed his hand on her shoulder, she let out a sigh, feeling that he was already hers.
However, he pushed her aside.
"Out of the way." He said dismissing her. He adjusted his tie and got into the car.
When they drove away, they didn't see her pissed off face.
She was the most beautiful in the whole club. He couldn't reject her like that!
He was so handsome... All she could think of was that she wanted him for at least one night.
She only thought about having someone handsome and rich in bed. That she could be there for someone anytime, day or night. And give her body for comfort and money with which someone will pamper her.
When she finally found someone young, rich, and handsome, he didn't succumb to her body twice. She failed to seduce him.
But she's not someone who gives up that easily... There must have been a reason why he rejected her like that...
Jealousy had destroyed her, as had her curiosity.
Getting into the taxi, she told the driver to follow the black car. Promising a free dance for him if he does.
She saw him get out of the car, and on a cold evening as she stood hiding, she saw him go and open the door.
Only to see two identical children run into his arms.
She wanted to think otherwise is...
They couldn't be his children...
But when she heard the cheerful screams of "dad" she had no doubts.
In addition, she saw the smile of the man she wanted to win.
He had a family...
But she had to get what she wanted...
When she saw two children, the same as she had seen before, with a woman, she had to watch.
Because the children looked like a woman.
And they preferred her mother.
She had no doubt that this woman was the one who kept her from getting the perfect man for her.
So why keep her with him?
Her desires are more important than you...
You can disappear, only for him to finally notice her...
When she saw you shopping in expensive stores and surrounding yourself with other beautiful women, she was just jealous.
You had something to do with the mafia. The ring on your finger... You are his wife...
Three women with you, and one man in a suit.
Another woman, younger, was standing nearby.
Dark hair tied in a ponytail. Glasses on the face.
A blond man with glasses. He was handsome too...
One woman in a purple dress with white long hair, another with brown hair, smoking a cigarette outside before going back inside. And a third, with dark purple hair and a scar on her face.
All three dressed in pretty and fashionable clothes.
They all walked with you through clothes shops for women, men and children. And also to grocery stores. It was the usual shopping, but as always quite large.
You had lunch together several times a week. All.
You bought some sweets and other goodies.
Everything for the kids and you also packed some more for later.
Two boys still holding your hand or walking next to you.
She watched you until the end.
Until it got dark.
She took an empty glass bottle, and waited for the right opportunity.
You were her obstacles.
You and your children.
She didn't care that they were little boys.
It was your children that bothered her.
You were beautiful. You had what you wanted. You gave the kids what they wanted. You gave them love.
You were her obstacles, you made the man she wanted happy. That he didn't want her.
This is why...
When she saw you walking near the alley, she slammed the bottle against the wall, luring you.
When you heard some insults flying your way, you had no choice but to hand your sleeping son into Nanami's hands.
One son slept in Utahime's arms while Shoko and Mei carried their little backpacks that they wanted to carry to their favorite activities.
When you told them to go to the car and you were about to join, Maki objected, but it wasn't for long.
They knew you. You took care of yourself and the children.
You were an excellent mother.
You even took care of Satoru.
You were able to calm him down.
Even the biggest mafia boss acted like you were his boss.
You were a mother, and he was experiencing the moment of your pregnancy...
When you entered the alley, you saw a woman with broken glass in her hand.
"Who are you? Offending people you don't know is not something you should be doing in front of your children." you said standing in front of her. With a reproach telling her that it pissed you off.
"You took it from me! It's because of you that I couldn't seduce him!" She screamed, raising the glass at you.
"Who are you talking about?"
"It's because of you that Gojo-san rejected me twice!"
"That's sad." You said flatly. "You must be the stripper from the club. I had no way of telling you that my husband doesn't have many women anymore."
"You are disturbing my pleasant life! I'm the beautiful one and I'll be his beautiful woman to spoil!"
"It's dangerous." You muttered.
"You talk like a mother who sees her brat holding a knife!" she laughed. "I'm better than you!"
As she ran towards you with the glass, he suddenly hit her in the face. You felt something snap under your fist.
The woman staggered and fell to her knees.
"You whore!" she cried, holding her hand over her mouth. Where she felt her teeth snap off.
"Me a whore? Compared to you, I have a husband and two children. I'm not cheating on him and I won't be cheating on him." You replied massaging the enchanted knuckles on your fist. Aching from the impact.
"You don't even love him! You can't be his wife and be with him when there's no feeling between you!" she screamed crying through the pain in her mouth
"I don't love Satoru. But I want to be with him. Is it so hard?"
"Ow... Fuck... My tooth..." she moaned as she stood up.
"If you don't have teeth, now you'll be able to do your job more easily. You're a stripper, so giving ass is your job too. Like a whore."
"You–!"
"Don't interrupt me when I'm talking. Satoru shows no interest in you at all. To him, you're just a whore who makes money shooting her bare ass in front of guys."
"He's-"
"He was nice? During business he couldn't say no. You don't know how much he loves his children. That's why you don't stand a chance. Know your place in go back to the club to dance for others on roses. All you want is his money, you can't do anything. He thinks, and he is a normal man, who respects that he's got a happy family." You turned around and started walking on the sidewalk, the sound of your shoes echoing. Suddenly you stopped. "Good advice to you, never get in the way of my family again. Or your life will turn into a lot worse than it ever was."
"Maybe I don't love him, but I'm happy with him like I've never been..."
#jjk x reader#satoru gojo#gojo jujutsu kaisen#gojo jjk#gojo x you#gojo x y/n#gojo x reader angst#gojo satoru x reader#Mafia boss Gojo
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holaaa!! (dr rant + just an appreciation post)
(TW SLIGHT HINT TO GROOMING)
soo i’m shifting soon and i decided that im going to make my first album when i get there (LIKE START JT, DUDE. START IT. IM SO EXCITED) there’s going to b an ep i’m going to finalize when i get there and it will be released on the 26th of the month i get there (as it is kinda a diss on a MAN who was 26 when we dated… i was a minor still.)
i’m also gonna make a family tree because i’m really bored (and i also kinda js wanna see all my siblings yk? im gonna draw them all soon bc like AUGH AJAJDKDJ I MISS THEM!!!)
omgz i’m so excited dude!!
(appreciation below!!)
also i saw billie eilish in my dream last night. one of the funniest and sweetest people i know 😭 SHARK WAS ALSO IN THAT DREAM HES SO SWEET ‼️‼️ god i wish i could hug them today, just right now. yall don’t understand how much billie and finneas have been through together, and im so proud of how far they made it. i love you both, and although you won’t see this post in this reality, i know you will when we r together :DDD u guys make me so happy, so inspired, and just a better person overall. also huge thank you to billie in helping me with directing my music videos and being featured in one of my favorite songs — ripple effect. thank you finneas for just 😭 for keeping her alive, giving her a passion, and being so protective and supportive of her.
i’m so excited to b friends w both of them n js talk to them daily — it’s so fun.
i’m also super duper excited to meet one of my closest friends — nile — in person finally!!!! it’s been like 3 years of shifting together, and i know she’s excited too. i know she’s reading this, btw so i love u sm nile and thank u for being such a great and perfect friend throughout this whole journey. i truly don’t think i would still be kicking without you. i owe you the world, and i know you’re going to be blessed with many MANY things in the coming months, and the years following will be some of your best, but that’s only a taste of what is truly to come.
i’m so proud of you, and i’m also so round of everyone that has been clinging onto shifting even though it hurts. i’m always here for you. i love you all so so much. i want the best for you, and i know you’re going to get it. i’m always here to help in ANY way i can. ask me anything, i promise you i will answer with the wisdom God and the universe has given me!!
i cannot express my gratitude to my father, loki, enough. i don’t know how to even put it into words. he’s been there at my hardest, he’s been there at my best. i don’t think i would actually even be this far without him either. he’s one of the silliest and sweetest people ive ever met. i can’t believe he’s my FATHER you guys!! ITS SO COOL AUGHH
i also have so many people here i need to thank, there’s more that i can think of right now but just know i love and appreciate every one of you guys.
staring with @smellofemale!! you were such a sign when i met you. i don’t think i’ve met a christian shifter — you’re the only one i still talk to if i have! im just so so sooo blessed to have met you. i don’t know what to say, dude! i love you so much. you’re so sweet, so kind, and so inspiring. i love you!
@eneablack although you’re one of my newest friends, you’re another really really inspirational one. you’re so open about your struggles with shifting, even though you’ve had success time and time again. it shows me and many others how shifting sometimes is a hard thing to get used too, even with successes under your belt!
@daisys-reality! if you don’t know them, FOLLOW IMMEDIATELY PLEASE OMGGJAJSN she gives some of the best and most accurate readings i could ever ask for. also her drs (specifically her mermaid one) have inspired me so much!!
@kanachaka UR AO COOL BRO I JS LOVE SEEING UR POSTS AJSJDKDJD
@kazylynn i love u sm!! u rlly show me i can be an inspiration to others, and that’s something i’ve hoped for all my life. i want to be a good, helpful person — and i love you for showing me i can be.
@babybearthepsychic a few months ago you gave me a free reading that was just so accurate and so real. i don’t know if i would still be on this spiritual journey without it, because i was at one of my hardest points then. i cannot believe how just truly accurate and kind you are. i love you so much, you’re doing amazing. i wish i could give you the biggest hug, and i could donate like a million dollars to u rn but i literally don’t have a job 😭
@zipperrants i don’t think i rlly need to explain this… dude i thought u we’re so cool even when u we’re js interacting with @maddies-chronicles and i rlly wanted to interact w u so bad but i was so so scared bro!! and thank u hale for giving me the opportunity to meet them!!
@accidentalshifter YOU DONT UNDERSTAND HOW MANY PEOPLE U REPRESENT IN THIS RESLITY — YOURE ONE OF THE FIRSR ADULT SHIFTERS I SAW ON HERR AND IM SO SO SO SO SOOO FUCKING HQPPY YOURE SO OPEN ABOUT IT! you’re just so free and it’s beautiful. i love you so much
and there are so many more but i just.. im gonna cry i love you all tooo much.. please know u all mean so much to me and i can’t wait to tell u so many stories when i get back, and help u guys shift. i am working so hard to post more, and i pray this post can help me become more active.
so so so much love, to everyone in this community, you’re so wonderful. may the gods bless you.
so much love, peace and joy
the abyss
#abyss .speaks#reality shifting#shiftblr#reality shift#shifting#shifting community#desired reality#black shifters#shifting motivation#shifting realities#abyss .shifting#shifting stories#desired reality shifting#mha shifting#quantum shifting#reality shifting positivity#reality shifting sigils#mcu shifting#shifting antis dni#shifting advice#shifting blog#shifting consciousness#shifting journey#shifting script#shifting tips#reality shifter#anti shifters dni#quantum jumping
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coming over - armin a.
brief summary: late at night you can’t sleep. armin very out of his character invites you to come over…!?
what to expect: alt and very nerdy reader, equally nerdy armin, mutual pinning, kinda touch starved armin, him overthinking like he gets paid for it, kinda awkward
your sword’s note: finally these two are getting closer (evil face), all previous and future parts of this au can be found in my mistresslist
<Yessss! The gravitational pull of pulsar stars is very strong.> armin 👼🏼. 12:04 am
<i cant sleeeep armin help😞> you. 12:04 am
<u wanna come over and watch a movie🤭> armin 👼🏼. 12:07 am
His text seemed odd, he would always use proper grammar, punctuation and no emojis. He was probably joking, very badly.
<sure> you. 12:08 am
His last text was not sent by him, but by Eren who snatched his phone away and decided it was time.
Armin had been talking about you since quite literally the day you guys met, his friends —not only Eren now— knew you very well from his narrations about you and though they had asked Armin to introduce you, he knew that it would take a few minutes for them to spill his secret.
“Good luck and goodbye.” Eren laughed hysterically leaving his friend in the room. Armin panicked immediately and texted saying there was a misunderstanding and tried calling you to rectify that you were in fact NOT coming over, but it was too late. After some minutes he assumed you had fallen asleep or worse, had gotten mad at his “cruel joke.”
“I’m here Armin.” You knocked on the door after some ten minutes, to his surprise. You had been very briefly to his dorm once when he needed to drop off his books after class; he did not expect you to remember what number the dorm was but seemed like your memory was better than what he expected.
Armin already had started planning on how to apologize to you because he was convinced you hated him, and when he heard you at his door he started pacing back and forth before deciding what to do; he hadn’t considered the scariest outcome which was that you actually simply came over.
“It was actually a misunderstanding… you see… Eren took my phone…” He opened the door just a few inches so half of his face would show, kinda embarrassed to meet you at night.
“Ow how sad, I had already started to think of some movies we could watch… maybe Sid and Nancy?” You mentioned with a hopeful tone that immediately made him guilty; if you were excited enough to even decide what movie to watch he couldn’t really say no to you. He moved carefully from the door and opened, contrary to how you normally were dressed, you were in black pajama pants with a skull print and a black sweater, your hair was tied down in a very loose bun, no makeup or jewelry either. His cheeks got tinted slightly with a cool pink, you were so beautiful and captivating even in simple clothes. Yeah, he had gotten the gist already, as stunning and attractive as you were, he was fascinated by the wonders of your mind and soul too.
He had never watched Sid and Nancy, hell he didn’t even know who they were, it was no surprise. By his request you took your shoes off at the door and followed him into the house. “Show me around, I’m so jealous...” You asked him while looking around the flat he shared with Eren since they both had privileges for being respectively honor student and member of the hockey team of the university. The small living room and even smaller kitchen that looked unused were the epitome of luxury for the dorming life of the students. The flat had its bathroom and two rooms with door and all!
Armin’s room was spacious since he didn’t have much there. His bed and desk occupied most of the space and his closet was half empty. Once he showed you the basics he guided you back to the living room and you both sat down at the sofa.
It was kind of awkward like most in-person interactions started with him, just sitting stiffly slide by side, but soon you managed to break off the silence.
"Did you know that Vivienne Westwood dressed the Pistols?" You mentioned and he turned around to look at you.
"Who is Vivienne Westwood?" Armin asked innocently and you had to explain a lot about the punk movement. He listened with all his attention and nodded softly, his blonde bangs moving very little from his forehead. He managed to relax and you both enjoyed the movie.
By half of the movie, you turned around to take a glance at him and could not avoid laying your head on his shoulder, though slightly awkward you were after all in his dorm and people normally would end up doing a lot more when visiting someone else's dorm, so boldly and with a lot of nerves you decided to make your move. In his head it was inconceivable that you could ever like him back, and he hated the idea of stopping being friends with you so he stuck to precisely being your friend. He did, in fact, not register that as a "move" and assumed you were simply tired.
“Did you like the movie?” With a smile you asked and he nodded.
“Yes it was very cool” He said vaguely looking at you, with your head rested on his shoulder. “A little sad at the end.”
After a small discussion about the events in the movie, he asked some questions related back to what you had told him and you excitedly answered.
“I think the exhaustion finally caught up…”You mentioned after yawning and he nodded again, unable to move in fears of making you uncomfortable in any way.
“Do you want me to walk you to your dorm?” As a true gentleman he asked and though you were ashamed to admit it, you eventually told him.
"My roommate called her boyfriend when I told her I was leaving..." Since you wouldn’t go out as much, Pieck never had ti,e to invite her boyfriend Porco over, so she’d take quite literally any chance.
"Hmm, okay. You can sleep in my bed, I'll take the sofa." With determination Armin said. He was so distant at times that it made you think he wasn’t interested. Oh sweet miscommunication, so funny when it was actually the complete whole damn opposite.
“It’s okay I’ll take the sofa.” You argued back. He denied but you threatened on leaving alone to wander the campus so he eventually accepted. He laid down on his bed and turned around to face the wall, too embarrassed to say anything else. For some reason he decided to leave the door open... in case you needed anything come on!
The sofa wasn't uncomfortable, but the blanket Armin had given you was kinda thin and in the hearts of winter there was only so much it could do.
“It’s too cold… do you think I can…?” With a lot of embarrassment you asked in the door. He turned around to look at you, he stayed quiet for long seconds until he asked you once again if you wanted him to sleep at the sofa.
"You can sleep at Eren's bed." Assuming he was uncomfortable you suggested but a glimpse of light in his hear lit in him when you mentioned Eren. Eren of course was well versed in the matter of Armin´s feelings for you, and according to Eren's genius calculations you probably liked Armin back! The blonde didn't believe it at all but Eren also slapped him –softly– and told him to stop being a baby.
"Hmm I wouldn't want to go there anyway." Even if he was convinced that you did not want him as something more than a friend, he couldn't simply say no, so he moved to the side and let you in his bed, which was warm and soft.
Lying and saying there was no tension would be precisely a fallacy. Armin's deep blue eyes looked at yours in almost awe and you genuinely had the impulse of kissing him but he seemed too dissociated to think, so eventually you just tried to close your eyes.
It was a really long night, mainly because you couldn't sleep and Armin's piercing gaze constantly over you was impossible to not perceive, so you asked him to turn around so you could move.
"Armin can I hug you? You are so warm."
His cheeks: burning. And his heart: speeding.
"Mhm." He said simply and his head started spinning when he felt your arms around him. He was trying to fight with all his strength from locking your arms around him and pulling you as close as humanly possible. It felt surreal that he was sharing his bed with you, in such a vulnerable state as sleeping is, just sharing that together… His heart was pounding so hard that he was scared of you feeling it through his rib cage, and he felt so warm that maybe in the hearts of that heavy winter it wouldn’t matter to sleep outside if he was covered by your arms like that. He felt embarrassed to himself to be so starved for a simple hug, and though before he had gotten used to living like that, now knowing how comforting it felt he was scared he would die from how cold life would feel without your arms around him.
"Goodnight Armin, I had fun with you today." You would normally always tell him goodnight through text when you were going to sleep and he did too, but hearing it from you, so physically close at that, made him hold your arm as in to ensure you wouldn't move away from him, finally caving in that impulse.
"Goodnight, I also had a lot fun." He said with a smile and kept looking at the wall for a long time. Almost as a human heater, he was able to warm you up quickly and you fell asleep strangely fast, as if you were a small child again that is able to fall asleep anywhere and anytime.
If he could have one wish he would invest it in being able to sleep like that every night for the rest of his life… lives if that was the case. And when he did fell asleep he slept so soundly that he rested from every thing he had ever stressed about as if he was born again even.
Waking up though, with him laying in your chest and hugging you in your entirety, was a whole other surprise. Just for the sake of mentioning it, yes, you were also hugging him completely.
#armin arlert#armin x reader#aot x reader#shingeki no kyojin#attack on titan#aot headcanons#fanfic#x character#x reader#armin arlert x reader#armin aot#aot au#aot armin#armin#arlert#fluff#armin fluff#sub armin#vkei#nerd armin#nerd reader#alt reader#alternative#goth reader
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(Don't feel obliged to reply to this/just delete it if it's too much) I'm really sorry that the interaction with the fandom has become so stressful to the point of completely distancing yourself from it. I really, really liked your works, both drawn and written, and appreciated a lot of your headcanons, especially regarding Maxwell. Your work was making me consider posting much of my own stuff back up, which I had,,,deleted a while ago, for somewhat similarish reasons - what you created and shared was seriously inspirational.
I'm sorry to see you go, and I greatly enjoyed your works, but I do understand, at least in a similar way. I hope what has caught your interest now/in the future will not end up such a sour note, and things go better for you in the future.
This message really does mean a lot to me, I’m really happy I was able to create things that people enjoy, that’s why I started making art in the first place
I apologize if my step back is disappointing, but if it makes you feel better my love for this game and it’s characters - especially Maxwell - is just too big for me to never make stuff for it again, I owe so much to dst (my friends, my partner, my connections,etc)
I’m relieved that I’ve received kind messages rather than hateful ones from that post . . . I was expecting harsh reactions seeing that I’ve been accused previously of faking my bad interactions with the fandom lol
I don’t think you should fear sharing people your art, but I also know that it’s hard and just how heartbreaking it is to see people get angry or disgusted with the things you have created out of life and desire to share your passion . .
I love seeing people create art they love, ur always free to show me what you have came up with in my DMs if u wish to share them but are afraid of getting judged, I’d be happy to listen no matter what it was made for
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Is Guren a narcissist?
Lately I dislike Kagami's portrayal of Guren as much as the next person and tbh there's absolutely no way you can make me think he's an innocent victim or a tragic hero we should root for (though I still do root for him cause he's just pathetic and gay I love him). However, the amount of times i've seen both the hispanic and english fandom call him a narcissist is kinda surprising 👀 Now the question is...
So since I'm petty and I like analysing useless stuff, let's take a look at Guren's behavior and at what makes a narcissist to try to give a more elaborate answer. I'll give as a disclaimer that I don't intend to attack anyone or force anyone to like Guren with this post, I'm just a psychology student currently investigating personality disorders and I thought this take would be fun to share.
Also, english is not my main language so do feel free to point out if you see I make any mistake so I can correct it, please ;u;
So for starts, if we're talking about the reasons for why people use to call him a narcissist I believe that pointing out his behavior towards Yuu is a very fair argument, especially his behavior towards Yuu at the beginning of the manga. Guren expresses himself with superiority, these airs and graces and apparent laziness and lack of thoughtfulness. However I believe that if you know how the story in the light novels go and even more if you've read them, you'll realize that all this "I'm your saviour, your god, you owe me your life, blah, blah, blah" crap that Guren tells to Yuu is a way of imposing authority and exerting some kind of control over him.
Guren needed to exert this control and authority as a way to protect himself, his subordinates and his investigations from the JIDA higher-ups, but also to keep Yuu at bay, not only because he was a part of Guren's experiments but also because Yuu used to be a very asocial and volatile kid when Guren took him under his wing. Having an angry kid acting impulsively at his leisure all around the JIDA was not convenient for Guren or for anyone, honestly.
And yes, I'm not gonna deny that Guren is kind of a jerk, but that has more to do with his personality and his sense of humor than with being a narcissist. He's sarcastic, super hard-headed, quite blunt and may come off as conceited, but he's actually extremely aware of all of his mistakes and shortcomings. He recognizes that he is not the smartest or the strongest out there, he knows how powerless he is in the grand scheme of things and most importantly, he recognizes his mistakes and is absolutely willing to take his share of the blame for it.
Sure, he knows that he is a strong individual but that's because he's worked towards the objective of "being strong" his entire life, he's cultivated perseverance and done sacrifices in order to achieve that strength, and while he does like to show off sometimes, recognizing one's merits and being aware of your capacities is hardly the same as having delusions of grandeur. Plus, his motivations are very much oriented to help others, protect others; and although Guren used to have a very strong sense of self-preservation, after the catastrophe he decides to let go of it if it means that it will help him to achieve those goals of keeping his loved ones safe. He starts doing what he 'has' to do rather than whe he wants to do.
After Nagoya's Arc, the shameless and overbearing side of Guren's behavior gets toned down. He becomes more serious, he doesn't play and makes jokes as often and he also stops trying to impose himself to Yuu in the same way as before. There's no need of that superiority facade anymore after all the things that came to light and now that the JIDA poses less of a threat and that Yuu has become less of a subordinate and more of a collaborator, exerting the same authority as before is just not necessary.
And now that we're referring to Yuu, we also gotta point out that a narcissist lacks empathy and doesn't go out of his way to try to help or benefit other people, but Guren does feel affection towards Yuu. When Yuu came to him as a child full of rage, resentment, guilt and lust for revenge, Guren genuinely empathized with him, he took care of Yuu, tried to teach him what he knew and he pushed him to build a support network with his classmates when he didn't really had to do all that. He could've simply taken advantage of Yuu's grief and solitude to control everything about him and force him to collaborate, but he didn't. Even when doing that would've been the best and most practical option for Guren's purposes, he still decided against isolating Yuu. Plus a narcissist wouldn't be capable of the affection and compassion that Guren feels for Yuu. And it is also made clear that Guren does not enjoy using Yuu or hurting him, but Shinya and his squad are Guren's priority, putting his options in a balance, he knows that he has no choice but to keep using Yuu to make his plan work. And it IS selfish and cruel and abusive, we're not going to deny that, but arguing that he doesn't care about Yuu or anyone else but himself is a pretty reductionist (and tbh also incorrect) statement.
Now, let's take a look at Shinya's opinion about Guren, taking into account that Shinya is probably the person who knows Guren the best out of all of the Catastrophe at 16 cast and probably all of OnS.
First of all we have this scene during the Nagoya Arc in which Shinya shows concern about Guren cause he knows that Guren suffers when people die and that he's not good at handling that.
Guren cares about his subordinates, he is saddened by the death of his soldiers and during this arc, he even makes the rather emotional choice of going straight into a trap in order to save other soldiers that Crowley is holding as hostages, even when Mito and Shinya warn him that they shouldn't do it cause it is clearly a trap.
I know there's a lot of material that I'm not covering, but for the sake of not making this post longer than it already is, let's go ahead and just check some of the behavioural criteria that a person has to meet to be diagnosed/classified as a Narcissist; of course, taking into consideration that meeting one or two criteria isn't enough cause it is very likely that everyone will present some of these criteria some times throughout our lives. For a person to be considered a narcissist they must meet various criteria which manifest constantly in various different contexts of their life for most of the time. Some of the criteria include:
•A grandiose sense of self-importance, being it fantasies or behaviors and the expectation to be recognized as superior without real reasons.
In Guren's case, he's not really the type that brags about his deeds or that goes about life expecting people to praise him, specially when there's no reason. The only times one could say that he sort of acts this way is in his interactions with Yuu in the early chapters.
•A narcissist is very often preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love.
Although Guren, does desire power and recognition, he is aware of all he's lacking and beats himself up because of all these things that he knows he isn't good enough to achieve. We can also notice that ultimately, his desire for power originates from his desire to keep his loved ones safe.
•A narcissist believes that they are “special” and unique and they only want to associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions).
In Guren's case, he knows that he kinda sucks. A lot of the people around him belong to a higher status, have a higher military position or are better than him in one way or the other. What Guren does is working towards his betterment. He doesn't believe he's special, in the novels, he even seems to be a bit ashamed about the subordinates in the Ichinose manor thinking that he is a prodigy. We also have that although it is obvious that Guren regards his squad as the most important people to him, and is willing to commit atrocities and become very self-sacrificial for them it is not because 'they are the best' or because they have a high status that Guren's ego can feed on, but just because he loves them.
•A narcissist has an excessive need for admiration
Guren is indeed an admired character, however he doesn't "need" to be admired. Even before the apocalypse, the motive behind his goal was not to be admired but bring respect and dignity to his beaten up clan. He's had plenty of chances to show off, but he just doesn't really needs to be admired for that.
•A narcissist exploits their interpersonal relationships for their own benefit.
This point is a bit tricky cause Guren is undeniably using Yuu and he had the same intentions with Kimizuki and Yoichi to achieve his goals. However, besides from knowing that Guren would not be doing this if there was another way, when we take a look at the rest of his interpersonal relationships, specially with his squad, being exploitative of their relationship for his own benefit is just not there.
Some other criteria include an excessive sense of entitlement, a lack of empathy, constant envy and the belief that others are envious of them, and haughty behaviors, all of which we already tackled before.
So, taking everything in consideration, we come to the conclusion that although Guren has displayed some narcissistic attitudes, overall he does not fit the profile, therefore, Guren is not a narcissist.
This of course doesn't mean that we have to condone all the bad things he's done, but rather may help us gain a bit more insight into Guren's character. Exploring his relationship's dynamics, and other mental health conditions which's profiles he may fit would be fun as well. He is indeed a very flawed character, and maybe that's what makes him interesting.
And that's it, if you read the whole thing, thank you for sticking till the end :) If you enjoyed this do let me know and in the future maybe we can tackle some other ons characters and their issues from a clinical perspective, I would also love to know your opinion on this if you have one or for you to point out any contradictions, mistakes or important things I may have missed to make this post better. Thanks for reading ♡. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)
#owari no seraph#seraph of the end#guren ichinose#ons#gureshin#shinya hiiragi#catastrophe at 16#yuichiro hyakuya#narcisstic personality disorder#character analysis#ichinose guren#catastrophe at sixteen#sote#guren's squad
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Too shy to send off anon, BUT!! As someone also going through severe OC thoughts rn, thought these might be fun, though no pressure to answer if you are unsure about any of these!
• Do any of your guys have a major turning point of their character arc, or maybe just some other fun moment that you'd really love to illustrate but haven't gotten to yet?
• Your color palettes and designs for them are really gorgeous!! Do you have any deeper reasoning for some color/design elements? Curious since the Greek Mythology inspo in the form of your latest obsession with Epic makes me wonder, but if its also mostly just going with what personally appeals to you in a design I 100% understand and respect, same
• Sort of silly question, but have you ever thought of what an "evil/reverse" version of these characters would be? As in, how different might they be if a major component of their character (visual or storywise) were changed to be the opposite? [Thinking of those memes like "evil crush 40 be like: die and forget" fhhfhfhf]
These are just some things I thought of, I hope they're okay! I've quietly been observing some of your OC things over here and been too shy to speak up and say much but hell yeah, keep doing what ur doing!! 🫶
~ 🧁
SOBBING AND CRYING ACTUALLY THANK U THESE ARE SO FUN I OWE U MY LIFE HOLD ON TIGHT ITS A LONG ONE
okay okay!!! so for turning point scenes i REALLY wanna draw the death of the king ( adriero , their son!) we kinda have this doodled out but its old (and the wrong son, we changed who dies so its out dated 💔)
it leads to iiros's character and his role (kidnapped, adriero's replacement!)
for colors its kind of a mix between symbolism and just what i like!
gala is mainly purple, for his affinity for night and sleep, originally we were gonna make him a shiny white like a star, but purple is akin to arrogance and childishness which was more his personality along with emotional!
iiros is primarily yellow because of his connection to day and warmth, but we used it also as a way to show he's a light, or like hope! and after looking into it its also a color for mourning!
izuna's is harder because we tried to appropriate his pre design into this one but nothing really fit he's been redesigned like 5 times so rn he's just for aesthetic lol, except his red which we used as a nod to his preexisting design, to mean passion and anger! and his white hair to show his loss of color/happiness!
euyco is really under developed but plays a HUGE role in their world! hes the catalyst that starts EVERYTHING and most character development! but he's one we don't draw much cuz bros dead, but i wanted to give him a bit of a free spirit vibe! the green and red for rebirth and passion, while the blue for flexibility and change
and flura is soooo aesthetic mainly because PRETTY!!! but!!!! his roses are his symbolism >:), they're yellow for danger and caution they draw attention to his face and his eyes (he's our antagonist EHEHEHEHEE)
okay last thing and I'll stop!!! i aint really got a evil version or anything considering flura is already the 'bad guy" and looks how he does, but i DO have a concept of izuna if flura hadn't caused euyco's death >:)c
before euyco died and everything he WAS the creator of beauty after all >;9
#EHEHEHEHEHEH#SORRY I KINDA POPPED OFF#GAH I JUST FUCKIN LOVE THESE LITTLE GUYS MAN#JUST BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK#THANK U SMMMM#wood wide web#oc stuff#mycel doodles
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Gonna talk more about The Book of Bill in this Ask. As well as ur answer to my 1st Ask:
"1. Preorders start today actually!!!!! It’s a really great zine and I’m excited to have been a part of it."
Nice!
"2. I do plan on finishing at least The Helpful Lie, I think I owe the fic that much and I have so much of it mapped out. That being said…"
I really do hope u will at least finish this fic someday. As well as Illumine and Cosmic Twins. And etc. I love these TAU fics dearly after all. However, I can wait. I have waited years for more of something, and I can take a long to post and stuff myself. And I can do the same with these things.
"3. Spending time in the Psych fandom has been so rewarding. This was the right time for me to transition into something else. I’m gonna put this vaguely for privacy’s sake— I needed a new fandom if I was going to engage healthily again. And honestly, I think in 7 months Psych has given me more support and community than 12 years in Gravity Falls ever did. (But that’s luck, considering I went to Psych con and met the people who live in my phone.) (And probably also demographics.)"
I am sad u feel like the GF community couldn't always give u the stuff that the Psych community did. I have had great times in the GF fandom(s) myself personally. Saying that, I am happy Psych and it's community is is making u happy right now.
"4. Obvi Gravity Falls and TAU are still the loves of my life and rn there’s this beautiful meld of Psych and Gravity Falls coexisting in my brain. Book of Bill was great and it reinvigorated something in me. So yes, I’ll come back eventually and write more but for now, I’m invested in my little queer detectives"
And I hope to see u and I am excited to see u come back more in/to the GF and/or TAU fandom(s) someday (like new chapters and/or fics. Etc.), but like I said, I am happy you are having fun with Psych right now. And/or having fun with a blend of Psych and Gravity Falls in ur mind.
Also, "Book of Bill was great and it reinvigorated something in me",
Cool!
Gonna talk more about this, but I will save that for it's separate Ask.
Thank you for ur Answer to my previous Ask.
:)
1/?.
Oof. Uhhhhhhhh.
I think it’s just the helpful lie I’ll be finishing. (Maybe cosmic twins.) I can’t go back to Illumine. I do not like to contradict canon and though I didn’t know Book of Bill would be a thing a the time, I still don’t like that my story arc was off and the fic is too far gone to change anything. I won’t delete it but I’m not finishing it.
I love the game of canon too much. I like having to work within its confines even if I’m going off the rails with an AU. It challenges me as a writer. So Illumine has lost its appeal, but The Helpful Lie has certainly gained some. I have thoughts about my dumb triangle son…
And ok ok… it’s not that Gravity Falls/ Tau wasn’t a great fandom with tons of love and support. It is! And forgive me if this gets TMI. But I felt like I would never be good enough for this fandom. All of my fic, cosplay the freaking fanzine I started, my whole thesis, every single academic conference I went to specifically to talk about the show, all of the work I put into to Gravity Falls: I was essentially destroying myself for a fandom that wouldn’t love me back with the same passion. I still LOVE Gravity Falls with my whole heart and soul. But that burnout still hurt me.
So this step back has been good.
And Psych is oddly different. I think the fandom is old enough now to be kind of its own thing— but going to Psych con was the eye opener. I was worried about being the new kid on the block in this fandom from 2006. But complete strangers have shown up for me, tried to help push my academic career by promoting my writing and trying to get me celebrity interviews (which didn’t work out but damn— I’ve never had folks do me those favors before just because they want me to succeed), among other things. It changed my perspective a lot to have total strangers hug me and tell me I had done so much.
That was very ranty and emotional because I’m super sleep deprived (Bill my son please hop into my brain and joy ride me around, leaving me to wake up in a Taco Bell and with half a chalupa. This flesh puppet is ripe for the takin’). But things have been good different in this new corner of the internet. And when I’m ready I’m gonna finish the helpful lie so that I can feel good about it and not like I’m jumping through hoops.
Oh and the blending in my brain looks like memes
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