#i only watched s2 the once and i know they show up in the seven briefly i think but i havent seen that at all

[dullahandyke]

save me 20 minute baron from the baronies compilation

[noneorother]

All the music you didn’t hear: The Good Omens soundtrack is lying to you. *Part 1*

The Bonkers Meta Series part 2: Electric Boogaloo.

I so rarely get a chance to misuse my experience in classical music, but here we are. When I realized on my most recent watch-through of the series that the David Arnold score was brilliant, but also really wonky in some parts and I couldn’t put my finger on why, @embracing-the-ineffable suggested I listen to the album soundtrack to compare.

And when I tell you what I found hidden in there, you’re going to need Eccles cakes...

1) The Song is the Clue

So right up top we have this banger. The 12th track on the album is the orchestral backdrop to the scene in the Job minisode where Aziraphale reveals Crowley’s crow/goats. The duration is 2:22 (the only track with multiples on the album), and if you look at the track by itself it doesn’t mean much. But the song just before it is actually from this fucking scene:

You know, the one where there’s a song that’s a clue to a mystery. Except Clue is capitalised, and Aziraphale pronounces it. I’ve seen guesses that this is a reference to the movie Clue, but I would put a lot of money on the fact that we are supposed to read the title of the song currently playing at that moment in the show *as a Clue*, which is super convenient, because the word Clue is capitalized in the track listing. 

Seems like the overlords of Good Omens have a message for us : The song is the Clue. It’s what God wants. Cool cool cool. WHAT SONG?

2) Symmetry in all things 

Before I straight up tell you, we have to go back and look at season 1.

Now I’m far from the first to notice tons of parallels between the story, details and even lines in both seasons. It got me thinking that maybe there are some fun synch-up parallels between the two season’s soundtracks, seeing as they are both 6 episodes long. Here’s the end of S1 and then S2

Oh that’s a bummer, I thought to myself. 

They don’t even add up to the same number, or playtime, and neither of them is exactly 60 tracks. But do you want to hear a secret? S2 is actually missing 3 tracks on the album. And because there are 2 discs in S2 (cute), the numbers of the tracks start over again from 1. Remember how much God likes sevens? Check out where all the weirdness is happening in disc 2 (I’ve added the missing track listings in red to add context):

After checking each track with the show and listening side by side (for reasons that will become clear in another post) I can definitively say that there is something *very weird* going on at the end of episode 4. 

First is track 7, Zombie dressing room, which seems to actually reach over two distinct scenes of the photo evidence in the dressing room and then Shax in hell even though it only has one title.

But *between* these two scenes we get an eerily silent wine date with Aziraphale & Crowley.

There’s really no music or even sound here besides the dialogue and room tone (until after the cheers), and it seems like a very intentionally silent version of a ritz date from season 1.

My best guess is that we are supposed to divide that track into two tracks of 7, before and after the date to get a second track 7. Or maybe the silent one is missing music? The third track number 7 is the weirdest one. It’s this scene here, when Nina parks her bike, and Aziraphale parks the car at the end of S2E4.

If you take a close listen to the music, it’s a jaunty little piece, with an oom-pah base in 3 ⁄ 4 time. The thing is, this music does not exist in any Good Omens album. Please feel free to correct me, but I’ve tried to find any part of any song that this could even be a reprise of, and I Shazammed it to be sure it wasn’t anything else. This song does not exist anywhere except in this scene. (It quickly morphs into a reprise of the original theme once Nina leaves Aziraphale). It’s an invisible song.

So we have 3 tracks at the end of S2E4: a long one, a silent one and an invisible one. Only one of which is numbered 7, but that all fit into that place in the track listing.

Which, when we add the two extras to the original total of fifty-nine we get... sixty-one! Hey wait a minute.

How are we going to get to 62?

3) The real missing track. 

So the real reason we had to go back to the S1 album was because it contains the missing track that God is talking about. Let’s compare the last tracks on each album.

I’ve highlighted the mismatch between the in-show music and the album in S2, which means I had to add A Nightingale Sang in Berkeley Square back into the S2 album because guess what, it’s not in the S2 album. Even though it plays in the show. 

You want to know how not in the album it is? Amazon had to track it in the show as a season 1 song. They had to give Tori Amos credit for her song on Good Omens in the X-ray bonus features because that’s how not in the album this song is.

So my fellow beings, if the song is the Clue, then It’s what God Wants.

And if God wants a happily ever after with Aziraphale and Crowley on their own side, then by Job, I think Neil is going to give it to her.

-----------

And there's more where that came from! Part 2 coming shortly.

[coldflasher]

so me and my friend had to put our flash (re)watch on pause for a while bc she broke her ankle so we haven't seen each other in a while, but we finally picked season 8 back up and. god. i don't even have anything funny or insightful to say about it because it's just bad. it's so bad. and i couldn't even put my finger on why it was so bad at first, but eventually my friend pointed out that like. NOTHING happens. the characters literally just stand in a circle and talk. then whenever something DOES happen they go "hey so this thing just happened, hold on a sec while i describe it word for word in case you missed it." there's no action 90% of the time and there's no meta of the week for the most part so every episode feels samey and directionless as we slowly crawl our way towards a resolution of a plotline that isn't particularly compelling anyway

the characters are flat and nothingy. barry, the main character of the show, does FUCKING NOTHING EVER. there was one scene where he was running down the street, which he obviously used to do in every single ep, and my friend was like "holy shit i feel like we haven't actually seen him RUN in ages" and she was right. the man whose WHOLE SUPERPOWER IS RUNNING VERY FAST DOESN'T RUN ANYWHERE ONSCREEN FOR LIKE SIX EPS STRAIGHT. we see him run in and out of rooms but never see a straight shot of him running TO anywhere. WHY?

then there's the fact that the overarching plots are bad. the characters are split into two factions that don't interact at all. iris having time sickness could be cool and interesting and there's lots of potential for interesting character work there, but instead of making anything happen they have her sit on a couch and not touch anything in case she erases it from the timeline.

at one point she literally GOES MISSING and barry just. DOES NOTHING?? im sorry, fuck whatever else is happening, you know if iris disappeared he'd be tearing the city apart looking for her but all that happens is cecile is like "omg barry i can feel that you're sad, what's going on??" and he's like "iris is missing, im worried about her." WHAT!! THEN FUCKING LOOK FOR HER YOU DINGBAT!! i've said this before but s1-4 barry would absolutely beat the shit out of this version of himself if he found out about this

and don't even get me STARTED on caitlin and her almost husband, the skeleton fire demon who eats grief---again, this had the bare bones (pun intended) of an interesting plotline; a meta that feeds off people's grief could actually be really powerful and interesting to explore, but he's a magic skeleton from another universe who tricks her by pretending to be her dead husband so it's just stupid. at one point the characters like "why are we doing this plotline now, 7 years after ronnie died?" and i'm like yes, why ARE we? because again, having caitlin fall prey to the manipulations of a malevolent force that feeds on grief would actually be very topical and interesting if it had happened in, say, s2, when ronnie had just died for the second time. if her grief was fresh and raw and painful it could be conceivable that she'd be desperate enough to go "well i thought he was dead once and he survived, maybe he did it again", and cling to that, allowing herself to be tricked into believing this evil sentient flame skull was really ronnie. but it's been SEVEN YEARS and she literally just got a new boyfriend who has no personality and who we never see again, so it doesn't make any sense and i don't care. also the show keeps trying to convince you to care by having caitlin go "ronnie was such a valuable member of the team, you knew and loved him!!" and it's like... did we though? did we really? he's never made a big impression on me personally. the only character who was close to ronnie and actually knew him was cisco and he's not here. they added a few flashbacks and a proposal scene to try and make us care more about the caitlin/ronnie relationship but they didnt do anything for me because i was too busy staring at danielle's terrible wig. like babes that is NOT what caitlin's s1 hair looked like, did you even try

the skeleton fire demon stuff is actually kind of enjoyable to watch at times purely because it's so fucking ridiculous, the whole thing is a trainwreck, so i did somewhat enjoy getting to make fun of it but JESUS CHRIST IT'S SO TERRIBLE. HOW DID THE SHOW FALL SO FAR. WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED

[harleyxhoward]

The Umbrella Academy S4 (thoughts & opinions)

- HOT TAKE: The issue I had with Five and Lila getting together wasn’t the bizarre age gap or insensitivity of Five sleeping with his brother’s wife, but how they don’t resolve the tension properly before they all cease to exist. Specifically Diego and Five don’t get to hold hands the way Lila and Five did, even though it wasn’t really up to Lila to “forgive” Five, but whatever. I thought that had this affair been treated with an ounce of consideration it would reveal a lot more about both characters shared desperation for affection and emotional stimulation. Five spent decades in complete social isolation to the point where he legitimately fell in love with a mannequin and you want me to believe that, given the similar scenario that most certainly triggered the same “well I guess I’m stuck in this shit now for an indefinite amount of time” area of his brain, he wouldn’t have resorted to falling in love with the fist available person regardless of what it meant outside of the subway? Lila too seemed to get with Diego because while they did click in S2, she had never lived a life that allowed her to experience romance or starting a family like she could with Diego. She pumped out three kids to seemingly force herself to enjoy what she knows could be taken away from her at the throwing of a time traveling briefcase, but her behavior this season is baffling because what do you mean after seven years of searching for a way home she never once brings up missing those three children until the opportunity to return home presents itself? She tries to wipe her hands of the situation, but then the show just kind of ends without meaningful conclusion, so…

- The ending was sloppy. I know you know that, but my issue wasn’t the actual end. The Hargreeves having to sacrifice themselves in a way indicative of the S1 finale makes perfect sense, especially with the painfully shallow Five Diner down in that unexplained subway station where they all indirectly allude to the fact that there’s never a condition where at least one of the family doesn’t end the world. Had the Fives took time to explain that each Hargreeve possesses earth shattering abilities that eventually snowball out of control regardless of the condition, and all resistance is futile, I would accept that the ending makes more sense than just blaming the marigold despite the fact that Victor can/has been able to syphon marigold out of people, and could’ve just taken it all himself but you know, whatever.

- I also deeply resent that a show about familial trauma and bonding despite the shared adversity ultimately concluded on everyone giving up. No. You don’t get to say that they “didn’t just give up” because yes, them saying “oh no, well, there’s ten minutes left of the episode, guess we should cease to exist now” is the definition of not even trying to venture down into the subway as a family and fix the other timelines one at a time, using their newfound familial unity to solve every timeline until they converge into one. I’m not saying that needed to happen at all, or that they should have succeeded even if they tried, but AT LEAST THEN THEY WOULD HAVE TRIED. The writers gave up, the characters gave up, and the metaphor of grief and family issues the show spent so long to cultivate were just abandoned.

- Klaus regressed with no substantial reason or impact other than to provide slapstick humor and comedic relief antics that didn’t amount to any of what he had spent the last few seasons building and working towards. Ben shouldn’t have been brought back after his noble and meaningful sacrifice of S2 only to be made into the most obnoxious version of himself. Allison didn’t even get to say “I heard a rumor” this season nor did she address attempting to sexually assault Luther, and Diego’s relationship with Lila was the absolute worst case scenario for both characters. Viktor was the only one with an arc worth watching this season, which is why I thought him having a solo sacrifice would have been even more gut wrenching but whatever.

- There is an insurmountable amount of plot holes that prove this show just got lazy. There should be a kugelblitz in the finale’s timeline. If Lila/Allison were never born then there could never be Grace/Lila’s children. You don’t get to say “well what about the subway” because that doesn’t protect them from the grandfather paradox, unless outright stated which the writers didn’t even bother to do.

- Why didn’t they just kill Jennifer? Who put her in the squid? If it was Reggie’s wife then why didn’t she just kill her? Why didn’t Reggie kill her when he built the town to “protect” her? Why did she react with pure terror when shown the squid? How did Jean and Gene get their hands on it? Was it a normal giant squid or an alien? Was it her mother? No, because then how did she speak English when she emerged from its stomach? Why did she say “the cleanse” like she knew what it meant when she didn’t? Ben should’ve been able to remember in the OG timeline how he died because absolutely every other spirit does and the show can’t just rewrite its own lore to cater to a last minute subplot that went nowhere. I don’t want to be mean but Jennifer never should have existed as a S4 add in because she did absolutely nothing for the plot other than confusing the audience with the persistent question of why didn’t they just kill her to prevent the cleanse from happening. Reginald said one of them had to die, but in the OG timeline he killed both just to be…cruel? What’s the point of writing that it just had to be one of them if you’re just going to act like it’s a package deal? This entire plot line made me truly believe this season was written by AI, I’m sorry.

[thesoulspulse]

Regarding The Ancients (Part 1)

We don’t really know all that much about the Ancients who defeated Pariah Dark or what happened to them after they faded into legend, but there are a few things I found interesting about them so I’m here to share my thoughts with you! Now, when Skulker was telling Danny and the others the legend of Pariah Dark’s defeat we saw these representations of the Ancients in the flashbacks but who’s to say if this is what they actually looked like? Personally I like the idea that Clockwork was one of them, but I digress.

Before we get into the rest of it, let’s start with a quick recap of the legend itself!

“It was many years ago. Before you. Before me. Before most of us.

His name was Pariah Dark. And he ruled the Ghost Zone.  He was a ghost of such power and magnitude, only he could control the energies contained within the Crown of Fire and the Ring of Rage. When wearing both- he could do anything.

Until a group of powerful ancient ghosts banded together in a last ditch effort to defeat the King. By locking him within the Sarcophagus of Forever Sleep. Or so we thought.”

~ Skulker, Danny Phantom S2, Reign Storm

One thing I really like about the show sometimes is actually the lack of information so we can fill in the blanks or small details that can be expanded upon. For example, while watching a clip of this scene here are a couple of things I noticed:

The Fright Knight brought Pariah Dark the Crown of Fire from somewhere else, suggesting he stole it from someone else, possibly from the Ancients themselves who are safeguarding it for the ‘true’ Ghost King?

The Fright Knight himself placed the crown on Pariah’s head, but Pariah was already wearing the ring so either he ordered the Fright Knight to steal it beforehand as well, or perhaps he personally defeated/destroyed its original owner.

The next part is where it gets interesting for me at least when I noticed a small inconsistency. Up until the end of the flashback there were exactly 6 robed figures, but in the last part there’s an extra, a 7th that wasn’t there before. Did they rejoin the group at the very end to reduce most of Pariah’s Kingdom to ruins? Or were they always there but no one remembers them?

The 7th ancient is really hard to see once they lay waste to Pariah’s Kingdom, but they’re definitely there since there’s a seventh energy ray aimed at the castle. And personally, I like the idea of there being 7 in total because 7 is symbolically seen as an angelic number:

“Number 7's represent fullness in life. This number is the number of perfection. This is much like the seven wonders of the world, the seven days of the week, and more. The number seven also suggests completeness. It is one of the secret numbers we see that is a symbol of perfection and symbol of eternal life.” ~ https://sarahscoop.com/the-numerology-meaning-and-symbolism-of-angel-number-7/

Six still works too since it’s a perfect balance, but again, seven is a lot more mystical in my opinion. And so my question is this-

P.S. I’m only using Lydia to represent the 7th one visually since her cloak is what inspired me to create my oc Azrael along with the Ancients. I’ll continue with a few theories in the next part.

Part 2: https://thesoulspulse.tumblr.com/post/698800245165948928/regarding-the-ancients-part-2

[allthecastlesonclouds]

Is someone were to start watching dimention 20 . What series(?) would you reccomend n where ?

omg omg okay okay so i'd say there are so many different routes you can take depending on what genre you like!! this is truly so hard omg. i can start off by saying most seasons are on a subscription service called dropout which is the only subscription service i will be paying for in my life (unless you're counting a patreon as a subscription service), but they also have a youtube where they've released a couple full seasons.

i'm putting Escape From The Bloodkeep at the top because a) Villainous Found Family, b) free on youtube, and c) there's an NPC named J'er'em'ih. It's a Lord of the Rings knockoff from the perspective of the villains who are dorks and also queer. Found family to the max and so many bits.

i will be crunching this post because it is LONG! genres galore!

if you want Drama: A Crown of Candy is a Game of Thrones/Candy Land mashup. The Ravening War is the prequel. Both of them have a nonzero chance of making you cry and Do have permanent deaths. A Court of Fey and Flowers is the other drama but it's. queer Bridgerton with fairies. no angst many flowers and there's LETTER WRITING and a RUMOR PHASE

Coming Of Age: Fantasy High Freshman Year, Sophomore Year, Junior Year, and The Seven. While I think t7 is higher in quality than Freshman Year, you do need FY for context. either way, both feel as realistic as an adventuring school can be to an actual coming of age story.

Misfits and Magic is also a Coming of Age and an homage and just. a fabulous piece in general which I think is a GREAT introduction (if you have dropout)! it's a group of people going "how much can we poke fun at jk rowlings books bc we grew up on those but we Don't Like Her and actually her system is trash?" it's a smaller cast using the kids on brooms system, and, once again, it's queer and coming of age and found family. there's a wet cat of a man if that's what you need in your life.

Horror Seasons: Neverafter and Burrow's End are the two Overtly Horror seasons and they both pull it off very well. Neverafter is found family. Burrow's End is a literal family (of stoats) (not anthropomorphized, just plain stoats). they're Good Horror.

The Unsleeping City (Part I) is also very good. only filmed media that's made me cry. i can't speak to part ii specifically because i did not vibe with the virtual filming style. i got dropout because of Pirates of Leviathan, but i had the context of s1 and s2 of fantasy high so. idk man. is this coherent?

romance: Shriek Week and A Court of Fey and Flowers. Monster dating sim and Fairy Bridgerton. i'm not a dating sim person so i couldn't really do shriek week but ACOFAF. Man. That season.

Mystery: Mentopolis. I cannot tell you how much I loved Mentopolis. such a good season. Hank Green is there. Mike Trapp (creator of J'er'em'ih) is there. It's truly just tropes tropes tropes. everything is a pun.

Mentopolis also fits under action, which is what I would put Coffin Run under as well. Coffin Run my beloved. 2 vampires a wannabe-vampire and a jewish-old-man-who-misses-his-wife walk into dracula's castle and go. "hey we're your favorites, right?"

i'm so sorry. i hope this helped. i really love this show man. there's very few seasons i couldn't finish and 20 seasons out right now (the 21st is coming out every wednesday starting last week) and while there are MORE seasons like A Starstruck Odyssey (scifi comedy, 10/10 no notes) this is a long post to say. TLDR: you gotta know what style of show you like. my friend and i both watch it but she REFUSES to watch fantasy high and i can't stomach A Crown of Candy but we still both watch other seasons.

[glendover]

watch ghost files with me eps1 s2

what’s better than a new ghost files eps on my birthday?? literally nothing

the caption saying “boo, bitches, did you miss us?” YES OFC I DID

will we see blueprints again? you know I’m a sucker for them 😩

had to look up what a penitentiary is,,, Istg my English isn’t fancy enough for words like this just call it prison or something 😭

night in the penitentiary: locked in

old ass prison with dubious torturing methods always end up haunted it’s like the secret potions to get ghosts

THE 3D MODEL AND THE BLUEPRINT CAN I GET A ROUND OF APPLAUSE FOR THE BLUEPRINT??!!?

Missouri is the ghost place

imagine getting chased by fast jack, man I wouldn’t even try to run

jack trying to communicate via the flashlight already????? season two really is insane

Shane scaring the ghosts by telling them they are dead 💀

ghosts already got to Ryan this is fine 🤡

shut up, Shane is so cute hyping Ryan up 🥹

If I were a ghost I purposefully wouldn’t show myself to Ryan and Shane but I would follow them everywhere they go just looking them over the shoulder and laughing

Shane is becoming some sort of ghost therapist this episode 😭💀

little dance monkey!!

romanticising the prison with the moonlight 🤩

bro shut up the glowing eyes???

Ryan is the grinning man, confirmed

the thievery ghost likes mr bean!!!!

no but the commercial break was actually funny

peekers didn’t want to peek to night

how bad can a ghost/devil dog truly be?? all dogs are the same, all they want are belly rubs and treats

not the ghost calling Shane daddy lmao

disturbing daddy

why is the seven people cell so small???

Shane having to remind Ryan to freak out when scary shit happens is so funny

She said mattress when you walked to the mattress, go do your thing and be scared Ryan how hard can it be??

“Are you in pain?” *light turns off immediately*

the ghost wants them as their friends forever and to never leave; cute

SOLO INVESTIGATION

Ryan should gaslight himself into thinking he’s not scared, I believe he can do it

Shane energy, like shenergy you know like kenergy 👀

Zen Ryan? Well I only believe that once I see it

Shane screaming while Ryan is talking about not being able to hear him even if he got stabbed 💀💀

this truly looks disturbing 😭😭

well idk about the punching but sure you got this Ryan

chill Ryan might be the scariest bit of this episode

the face of a chill man

Ryan truly isn’t his fear

disassociation bestie Ryan 👯

this didn’t even feel like an hour wtf???

I’m so happy the ghoul boys are back omg

this was so much fun!!!

[subspencer]

perv spencer (ESPECIALLY s1-s2) would literally spend entire briefings daydreaming about you while staring right at your tits and hotch would be like “reid what are your thoughts. reid. reid?” and gideon would have to put a hand on his shoulder to snap him out of it and he’d go like BEET red after realizing what he’d done. imagine what would happen if you confronted him about it later when y’all were alone ✋🏾✋🏾✋🏾 down bad

-🍭

oof okay. spencer daydreaming about you, then without even thinking drawing you naked (to the best of his imagination) or exactly as he saw you in that meeting. and can you imagine finding his sketches? also i know it’s subby baby spencer but in his dream scenario he gets to be on top <3 he likes to think he’s strong <3

wc: 1.4k

cw: sub!spencer, baby!spencer, glasses!spencer, perv!spencer (aka Criminally Horny spencer), fem!reader, titty sucking <3

Hotch is running on about the details of the new case, and Spencer has no idea what they are. He’s technically aware that this stuff is important, but there are more… pressing things on his mind.

Specifically, the way that your chest stretches your blouse taught over your body, where your chest is just slightly too full for this size of a top. The fabric between two buttons right there gapes apart, just enough that he can see a sliver of your bare skin through it. Bare skin and the dainty lace edges of your bra. 

Since he made that discovery about five or ten minutes ago, his gaze hasn’t moved past that little peek. It’s been etched into his memory already, but what good is a memory when he can look at the real thing right now, be completely entranced by you, right now. 

“Reid…” he hears. He pictures you saying it, whispering it into his ear in the dark. The lights are off but he can still see your face, twisted in pleasure as you lay under him. “Reid!” It’s louder now. You’re screaming it at him as he thrusts his hips into you, faster as he approaches his high. 

“Reid!!” He feels a bump on his shoulder and suddenly that image is gone. He snaps back to the present, completely unaware that he was lost in his own dream world as he looks around at the room full of people. He doesn’t even know when they all got here.

While Gideon starts to lay into Spencer for losing his focus, you feel a heat creep up your neck. You caught him looking; you thought he was just staring into space, spurring theories in his mind, until you saw the way he turned red and stuttered through his words. He was definitely staring at you.

His eyes catch yours as you begin to smile and he shifts in his seat, readjusting to hide the obvious tell in his trousers. 

Hotch can’t dismiss the meeting fast enough; Spencer waits for the room to clear out so no one sees him as he runs off to the bathroom to… handle his situation. 

He returns to his desk still slightly flushed, even after splashing cold water on his face post-release. He’s positive the shame is splattered all over his expression as he slinks back to his seat, ducking his head and burying his nose in case files to avoid looking at you for the rest of the day. 

You want to say something, but you never get the chance. Each time you look over to him and think of approaching, something else requires your immediate attention. Whenever you see him heading in your direction, he immediately turns around and walks the other way once he sees you there. It’s a game of cat and mouse, and you are losing. 

Until the end of the day, that is. You wait him out. Spencer doesn’t want to leave the office because he knows that the second he does, you’re going to head out, too. You’ll ask to join him on the metro for some company, like always, and he’ll be stuck talking to you for forty minutes with the painful knowledge he just got himself off in the office restroom while thinking about you. 

He figures if he waits long enough, you’ll get tired and go home, and he’ll slip out twenty minutes later to make sure he doesn’t see you. Instead, you play his game and wait as long as it takes for him to finally go home. 

It’s now nine p.m. The last remaining agents on this floor left thirty minutes ago, and Spencer is still pretending to be working. You’re well aware he finished his paperwork around six or seven, but he’s scribbling away in some journal to keep busy. 

As quietly as possible, you slip away from your desk and creep up behind him, hoping to corner him like your prey. As you get closer, you see what he’s scribbling on his paper. It’s a drawing. It’s a drawing of you. 

Specifically, it’s a drawing of you from the neck down, in the exact blouse you wore today. The buttons are undone and, to the best of Spencer’s imagination, in addition to the little preview he got earlier, you’re drawn sitting in your lace bra with the sides of the shirt laying open to show it off. His memory served him far too well, he has practically every detail of your body’s shape drawn accurately. And he even knew the exact pattern of the lace. 

“Wow… that’s really good…” you whisper before you’re even aware. 

Spencer jumps in his seat, slamming his sketchbook closed as he drops his pen in shock.

“Was that me?” you blush. 

“N-no. That–that was nothing,” he swallows, shoving the book into his desk drawer. He shuffles around the objects on his desk, scrambling to pack up his bag with whatever he sees so he can make a quick escape. You grab his hand to stop him, taking a seat on the edge of the desk in front of his chair. 

“It looked pretty good.” Spencer looks everywhere but directly at you. He fiddles with his tie, his sweater, anything in his hands as your gaze burns holes into his head. Seeing him squirm like this is entirely adorable, so you tease, “Wanna see how close you got to the real thing?” 

His head snaps up, eyes bulging out. He says nothing, so you start to work the buttons on your blouse, and his eyes follow the movement of your hands. He pushes the bridge of his glasses back up his nose, clearing his throat as your fingers undo your buttons from top to bottom. 

“Your drawing looked pretty accurate to me, Spencer,” you smile, popping open the last button and moving your shirt to your sides. “Did you get the lace right?” 

His Adam’s apple bobs up and down his throat. He’s entirely focused on your chest, filling out your bra, rising and falling as you breathe. 

“I- I think so,” he stutters, shaking his head to remind himself to speak. 

“Why don’t you look closer?” You place a hand behind his head, bringing him a little closer to you. His tongue darts over his lips. Even under the dim overhead lighting, they glisten. His lips part slightly as he gets close, eyes roaming all over your exposed skin. 

“I–I…” Spencer trails. 

“You what, baby?” you giggle quietly, scratching his hair gently. He’s rock hard, clear as day, and his mind is completely blank besides thoughts of you. 

“I want you. So bad,” he whispers, barely audible. 

“I know,” you chuckle, stroking his locks with both hands now, letting your fingernails graze his scalp and send goosebumps all over him. Your thumbs rub his cheekbones, bringing his face to look up at yours. His big, brown puppy eyes are boring into yours, wide and waiting for you to say something. 

You dive down, giving him a quick peck, and he chases your lips with his own, eyes still closed, as you pull away. Your hands leave his face for only a second but still he whimpers at the loss of contact, opening his eyes to see why you’ve left him. He looks at just the right time to watch you reach around to undo the clasp of your bra, shrugging it off along with your blouse, now completely bare to him. 

“You know, your drawing is off to a good start...” you take his cheek in your palm again, guiding him to your chest. He instinctively runs his tongue over his lips to wet them before placing a reserved peck against your sternum, above your breast. Encouraged by your smile, he places another. And another. And several more, running down the valley between your breasts. 

“Maybe you just need to get a little more familiar with the subject,” you sigh as he finally moves to one side, kissing over the swell of your breast before finally attaching his mouth around your nipple, sucking softly. His glasses shift up his nose, at risk of falling off his face as he buries himself into your chest, losing himself in memorizing your skin. He carefully bites down with his teeth and pulls gently, laving over the bud with his tongue at the same time, and another whimper escapes him as you moan. “So next time, just ask me to pose for you.” 

[tibby]

hey tibby. can you give me a quick synopsis of the jarchie longcon? i'm not going to watch riverdale but i'd like to learn through osmosis

here is a VERY quick run down of it and doesn’t cover archie’s general relationships with men/possible gayness outside of jughead:

in 2003, roberto aguirre-sacasa sets out to debut his play archie’s weird fantasy, in which archie moves to new york, falls in with leopold and loeb, and realises that he’s gay. he receives a cease and desist letter from archie comics the day before the premiere, and is forced to remove all archie references and make it weird comic book fantasy.

roberto goes on to write several episodes of glee. after he departs, one of the characters makes a comment about “archie comics fanfiction where archie and jughead are gay for each other.”

roberto is hired as the chief creative officer of archie comics, and is later the showrunner of riverdale.

jughead is established as the narrator of riverdale. his only interaction with another character in the pilot episode is when he and archie accidentally meet at pop’s diner, and jughead says the gamechanging quote of he was looking for the girl next door. instead he found me.

archie says that he’s never been able to feel whatever it is he’s supposed to feel with betty.

in episode two, gay kevin asks “are we 100% archie’s straight?” reggie jokes that archie and jughead must have killed jason together, as some kind of pervy blood brother thing.

jughead notes that he would do anything to protect archie.

jughead has been living in a closet at school, not wanting to live with his alcoholic father. archie discovers this and invites jughead to move in with him, which he does for the remainder of the season.

cheryl refers to them as “bert and ernie,” historically thought to be husbands.

a lot of the s2 conflict is based around archie and jughead’s relationship, due to archie falling in with rich mob man and greatest character of all time hiram lodge, while jughead is allied with the southside and actively opposed to hiram. despite this, archie agrees to help jughead be a drug runner. it’s at this point that he tells jughead “you know, i had this stupid idea. that after graduation, instead of going to college, we’d both move to new york. you were this writer, and i’d be this musician, and we’d both live in like the east village or something, just doing our thing.” “where are betty and veronica in this scenario?” “they’re roommates on park avenue.” not only is the new york dream a reference to archie’s weird fantasy, but archie’s ideal future involves him living with jughead, and he only mentions their girlfriends when jughead asks about them - and even then, they’re still not in the main picture. archie is jughead’s past and jughead is archie’s future.

jughead and veronica kiss, at which point betty points out that the only members of the core four that haven’t locked lips are archie and jughead.

archie goes to prison, fittingly named leopold & loeb, where he has his first gay kiss, and is immediately stabbed afterwards. jughead, at this point in time, is playing a g&g game that parallels archie’s prison break, and refers to the moment as a judas kiss.

archie and jughead go on the run together and it’s all very intense and homoerotic. they go to hide with jughead’s estranged mother, who immediately suggests that they’re a couple, and “always knew” there was something between them. she is not convinced when they deny it.

archie is diagnosed with gay by the school therapist.

jughead’s facebook header is revealed to be a picture of him and archie.

archie has his second gay kiss in the musical episode. he later kisses betty, and they perform wicked little town (reprise) while dancing in their outfits from the pilot episode. once again: jughead is archie’s future, betty is his past, veronica is his present. all roads lead to jarchie.

everyone else is banned from prom, so archie asks jughead to go with him. jughead replies oh, i’d be honoured, but i’m not putting out. gay kevin quips let the fanfiction begin.

jughead writes an elaborate story in which the gang kills their principal, mr honey. in the original version, jughead betty and archie are pro murder. in the revised one, archie is the voice of reason, the “good guy” of the story, while betty is still a villain. jughead’s writing FRAMES the show, he is the narrator, he writes stories about the stuff that happens to them, and it is always about archie. archie is the star of jughead’s life.

veronica and jughead find out about barcheating, breaking up varchie and bughead. despite this, jughead and archie say goodbye on good terms, and jughead completely forgives archie. he later imagines seeing archie at pop’s diner a year after their graduation, and is saddened when he realises that it isn’t.

after archie leaves riverdale, jughead squats in the andrews house for about a month before college. he doesn’t tell anyone this. it should be noted that he had been living with betty for the past year, and had the option to keep doing so, but it didn’t “feel right.”

everyone comes back to riverdale after seven years, jughead is once again homeless and archie has a “buddy” from army. jughead eventually moves in with archie again, and even refers to him as sweet prince. even after years of radio silence, archie is jughead’s safe place to land.

tl;dr: riverdale is a revenge scheme fifteen years in the making so roberto aguirre sacasa can get back at archie comics for not allowing him to premiere his gay little archie play, and all roads lead to jughead.

[bluejayblueskies]

For the Touches Ask Game, if you can, a little Jonmartin with Touching/9?

Thank you so much, I love your writing!!! 😭💕

touches prompt list

9 - holding hands across the table

i did a season two lunch dinner date fic! cw for mentions of paranoia/stalking and murder (in typical s2 fashion)

.

They’ve been having lunch together for two months when Martin asks, with enough stuttering that it takes Jon a moment to process his words, if Jon would like to get dinner with him.

Jon hesitates only briefly before agreeing. Between finding out about Martin’s CV and the newly delivered CCTV footage, he’s almost entirely convinced that Martin did not, in fact, murder Gertrude Robinson and that his various attempts to make sure Jon eats and sleeps and drinks tea are simply a result of Martin being… well. Being nice, he supposes. If overbearingly so.

Why Martin feels the need to coddle Jon, he doesn’t quite know. But if he’s being honest with himself, he’s… not complaining. His frequent skipping of meals often isn’t an intentional thing, born instead of his tendency to get so wrapped up in his work that hours fly by without him noticing, and while sometimes he’s irritated when his flow is interrupted by Martin’s cheery greeting, more often than not it’s… a relief. To step out of the Archives, away from the feeling of eyes on the back of his neck, and pretend like he isn’t working alongside a murderer.

Maybe a murderer. He… he doesn’t know. According to the CCTV footage, Tim and Sasha and Martin and Elias all have alibis. But he still can’t shake the feeling that he gets, sitting in his office or walking down the corridors or reading through statements, that something isn’t right.

That there’s something in the Archives that’s not supposed to be there.

So, it’s… nice to get outside. And as much as Tim may joke about it—or… used to joke about it, at least—Jon does, in fact, try to eat three square meals a day if he can remember to do so. Try being the operative word. He’s been… caught up in work lately, and often he glances at the clock to see that it’s well past ten and he’s accidentally skipped dinner entirely. He hadn’t thought Martin had noticed, given that the man doesn’t live in the Archives anymore and typically leaves promptly at five along with Tim and Sasha, but evidently, he was wrong.

As Jon sits across the table from Martin at the small café they’ve chosen for lunch, he has the fleeting thought that Martin’s been sneaking back and watching him work and that’s how he knows that Jon has been missing dinner. He lets himself feel it, takes a deep breath, and pushes it away with considerable effort. No, that’s not… he trusts Martin. He does. Or he… he wants to. He’s trying.

“Jon?”

“Hm?” Jon blinks up at Martin, who’s clearly waiting for a response. “Sorry, I-I didn’t catch that.”

Martin’s cheeks are dusted a rosy red. He fiddles nervously with the black ring on his finger—a bit thicker in width than Jon’s, the metal smooth and bright where it reflects the sunlight. “Is—is this Friday okay? At—at seven? I-I can, um, meet you at the Institute. U-Unless you’d like to meet there! That’s, er. That’s fine with me too.”

“The Institute is fine,” Jon says, picking at his sandwich with a frown. The bread is damp and squishes under his fingers. “Perhaps we can go somewhere a bit less… soggy.”

“R-Right, yeah. I, um. I was actually thinking… you know that new bistro o-over in Clapham? M-Maybe not, it’s, er. It’s new. But I-I heard it has good South Asian food, which, um. I know you like.”

Martin’s face is fully crimson by this point. Maybe we should sit inside next time, Jon thinks. Or at least in the shade. The sun is rather intense. Martin picks up his mug of tea and takes a long sip, staring resolutely down at the table once he’s done. Jon waits, but it appears that Martin is done rambling, so he says, “Yes, that sounds fine.” Then, because it’s polite (and not untrue): “I am… looking forward to it.”

“O-Oh? Oh!” Martin looks at him, a wide smile spreading across his face. “Y-Yeah, um. M-Me too.”

We should definitely sit inside next time, Jon thinks as the back of his neck grows warm, the tips of his ears surely darkening. Good lord.

He doesn’t think the heat is responsible for the way Martin’s smile makes something in his stomach flutter. He decides to blame that on the atrocious sandwich because… well. It’s as convenient an excuse as any.

Because Martin is just looking out for Jon’s wellbeing. This is no different than him bringing mugs of tea when Jon is recording statements or accompanying him to A&E to get stitches after Michael or inviting him to lunch in the first place. This is not, he tells his ridiculous, over-zealous, butterfly-filled stomach, a date.

Because it’s not. Martin is simply a coworker—an employee—and a friend. Who he trusts. Maybe. Probably. And thinks about sometimes when he’s unoccupied. His hands, mostly, which look very soft and very capable. His smiles as well, each one like a gift meant just for Jon. The way he carries the heavier boxes that Jon can’t quite manage and can reach the top shelves to retrieve statements without even having to clamber up onto the bottom ones.

All completely normal thoughts to be having about a friend

So, when Jon wears the soft maroon button-down on Friday that he’s been told brings out his eyes and takes care to arrange his hair into something other than the haphazard braid he’s been managing lately and digs a bottle of peach nail varnish out of the bottom of his drawer the night before to coat his fingernails with, it’s just because he feels like it. Not because this is a date. Because it’s not a date. It’s just dinner. With Martin.

Who shows up to the Institute at quarter to seven wearing a nicer jumper than usual—cable-knit and mustard yellow, looking incredibly soft to the touch—and with small black studs decorating the lobes of his ears. He smiles widely when he sees Jon, also standing outside earlier than agreed upon, and Jon almost turns around to see if someone’s behind him. But there isn’t. That smile, unfettered and full of joy—it’s… it’s for him.

Surely, Martin is just… happy to see him leaving the office while it’s still light out for once. He’s certainly chided Jon enough times for his habit of falling asleep at his desk. (Which he’s been trying to do less lately, if only because it would be easy for someone to sneak up on him while he’s unconscious and slip a knife into his back or poison his tea or shoot him three times in the chest or—)

“R-Ready to head out?” Martin says, abruptly halting Jon’s train of thought. He tries not to look like he’d just been theorizing about his own inevitable demise as he mumbles his assent and follows Martin away from the Institute and into the still-bustling streets of London.

And if he presses close to Martin’s side while they walk, well. It’s just because every brush of unfamiliar contact against him feels overwhelming, enough so to make him flinch away. And if he takes Martin’s hand for a small period of time, well. It’s just because the crowd has thickened and he doesn’t want them to get separated. And if he feels particularly warm in his jacket when Martin laughs awkwardly at his own joke and rubs at the back of his neck, well. That’s just from exertion. It is quite a far walk to the restaurant.

The bistro is lovely. Jon typically doesn’t go for places like this—tucked between two nondescript buildings with a glass front that reveals soft, intimate lighting within and flowers planted in boxes outside—but once they’re inside and seated at their table, it’s… oddly charming. Jon shrugs out of his jacket, and even though it’s the same shirt he’s been wearing all day, Martin compliments him on it with a flush. The change from frigid winter air to the warmth of the bistro brings heat to Jon’s face as well, and he rolls up the cuffs of his sleeves to just below his elbows. Martin makes a choking sound, but when Jon looks up with a frown, he has his glass of water pressed to his lips.

“Sorry,” Martin says once he’s placed the glass back on the table. “Just, um. Uh. Tickle in my throat. A-Allergies, you know.”

Martin’s face pinches in what looks like a repressed wince, and Jon tries to be reassuring. After all, Martin is taking time out of his schedule to be here with Jon, and Jon doesn’t want to seem ungrateful. His grandmother taught him proper manners, and besides, he is… rather glad to be here.

His commiseration about his own experiences with seasonal allergies turns into a mini-lecture on the species of pollen-producing plants in their area. He only realizes he’s doing it when the waiter comes by with a cheery smile and asks if they’re ready to order.

Jon’s mouth snaps shut mid-sentence. He has not even opened his menu.

“I. Um.” Jon is about to ask for more time—which he strongly dislikes doing, as he’s had the waiting staff forget more than once about his table and he’s had to go through the mortifying ordeal of hailing them down like a-a bloody taxi—when Martin tilts his own menu toward Jon and points to an item in the middle of the page.

“They have chicken karahi and naan. I, er. I heard it’s good if you’re… interested.”

Jon blinks at the menu in surprise. “That… sounds great, actually. Er, medium spice, please.”

Martin orders his own squash curry, and the waiter takes their menus when he departs, leaving the spot in front of Jon oddly empty. Jon taps his fingers on the newly barren tabletop a few times, trying and failing to remember where he’d left off in his lecture. Ultimately, he gives up, deciding that Martin isn’t going to be interested in hearing about all of that and he’s already said enough on the subject.

Then, Martin says, “So, you were saying—about the pollen?” and something in Jon’s chest squeezes, an emotion he doesn’t know the name of. Relief, maybe, as Martin’s words manage to spark his memory and he picks up his train of thought again easily enough. Yes, that’s… that’s probably it.

The first few times they’d gone to lunch, Jon had made an effort to stop himself from rambling, as he was prone to do any time someone gave him the opportunity. He’d engrossed himself in his sandwiches and rice bowls and mediocre Chinese takeaway in order to keep from launching into an explanation of the origins of said folding takeaway containers or the documentary he’d watched recently about the Zhou dynasty. And the first few lunches had been… awkward. It wasn’t because Jon thought Martin was a murderer—he doesn’t think he’d have agreed to go for lunch if he truly believed that Martin might harm him. It was just… how things like this went when Jon was involved. He knows he struggles with casual conversation, and he’s never understood the purpose or execution of ‘small talk.’ He would be perfectly content to eat and exist in silence, except all too often he feels expected to provide some sort of conversation or entertainment, upon which point the silence becomes horribly oppressive and stress-inducing.

But he also knows that talking too much can be just as bad as not talking enough. His grandmother had always told him so. So he suffered through the awkward silences for the first few days, and Martin had let him, clearly assuming that if Jon wasn’t speaking, he shouldn’t either.

Then, around their fourth or fifth lunch together, Martin had begun to ask him questions. They were casual, genuine, and so clearly targeted at Jon’s interests that Jon was convinced that Martin was somehow following him home or searching through his computer history or—or something. On their eighth lunch together, Martin asked Jon about the newest exhibit at the museum—it had been about sharks, if Jon remembers correctly—and Jon couldn’t help asking how Martin knew that he’d gone to see it. He hadn’t explicitly asked if Martin had been following him, but he’s sure the sentiment was clear in his eyes.

The tips of Martin’s cheeks had grown red, and he’d said that Jon had mentioned a few days prior that he was planning on going. All traces of fear and paranoia had left Jon’s mind then, replaced by surprise and, beneath it, something warm and bubbly. Martin had remembered.

Their conversations had gotten a lot easier after that.

Despite how Martin seems to enjoy Jon’s long-winded tangents, he… does still make an effort not to hold a completely one-sided conversation. So, a few minutes into the continuation of his pollen discussion, he finds a natural stopping point and says, “So, er. You… like being outside?”

Not the most… articulated question Jon has ever asked. But Martin doesn’t seem to mind. His fingers curl around the bottom of his water glass, his palms smudging the condensation. “Yeah, w-when I can find the time, I suppose. I-I try to go for walks around my neighborhood if I can, if it’s not too dark by the time I get home, and there’s this park in—”

Martin cuts off with a small cough. He lifts his glass and takes a long sip, while Jon sits and drums his fingers against the table and tries not to bounce his leg too noticeably. “Sorry,” Martin says as soon as the glass leaves his lips, giving Jon an apologetic smile that somehow seems… artificial. Like it’s been plastered atop another, heavier expression. “S-Something in my throat again.” He hesitates, then continues, “There’s a park in Devon that I-I like, whenever I’m in that area.”

Devon’s quite a trip away, Jon thinks but doesn’t say. Why do you go to Devon? he doesn’t say. Is that where you go on Saturdays? he doesn’t say, because—well. It’s rather embarrassing, among other things, to admit to the fact that you’ve gone through your employee’s desk calendar because you thought he might have shot an old woman three times in the chest and had plans to do the same to you. Particularly when you are having dinner with said employee.

Ugh. Probably best not to think about the fact that he is technically Martin’s boss when he’s sitting three feet away from him at a candlelit table on what, to an outside observer, might look startlingly similar to a date.

But it’s not a date. Because Martin didn’t say it was a date, and he’s just trying to care for Jon, in that… over-the-top way that he does. Jon tries to muster up some irritation at the reminder that he’s likely being coddled, just for habit’s sake, but comes up empty.

He hasn’t been truly irritated with Martin in quite some time. He… doesn’t really know when that changed. When Martin became a source of comfort, rather than of annoyance.

“Jon?” Martin says. Right. Martin is still sitting across from him.

“Right,” Jon says, trying to sound like he hasn’t been drifting off in a hundred different directions. “That sounds… nice.”

Martin’s lips curl up into a small smile. “Yeah. I-It is. It, um. It makes the trip worth it, to be able to sit on one of the benches and just… write poetry.”

Jon has read some of Martin’s poetry, though Martin doesn’t know that. Jon doesn’t like poetry. Jon liked Martin’s poetry. These are, apparently, two truths that can and do coexist.

Jon does not mean to say, “Could I hear one?” But it appears that he is weary enough and relaxed enough and distracted enough that his verbal filter has small, critical holes in it. Damn.

Martin sputters. “U-Um, well, I-I suppose… I could, I-I do have a few, er. M-Memorized, if you—you really…” He trails off uncertainly. “You’re. Um. You’re sure?”

Well. Nothing to do but lean into it, Jon supposes. “I wouldn’t have asked if I weren’t sure, Martin,” he says, a bit snippier than he intends. The tips of his ears are hot, and he is deeply thankful that the dimness of the bistro hides the way they’re surely darkening.

“R-Right.” Martin clears his throat, looks down at the table. “I-I suppose I’ll just… do a short one?”

He proceeds to recite, in quiet, surprisingly stutterless lines, one of the poems that Jon already knows from the notebooks he’d left behind in the Archives. It’s… his favorite, if he were forced to pick one. But there is something different—something more—about hearing Martin speak the words aloud rather than simply reading them on a page. Martin pauses in places Jon hadn’t thought to pause, lingers on words he hadn’t thought to linger on, and adds a softness to the ends of lines and phrases that Jon finds himself enraptured by.

Logically, he knows that it’s not good poetry. He’d begrudgingly taken a poetry class during uni, had hated every minute of it, and had donated all of his books to charity shops the moment he wasn’t in need of them anymore. He’s read Dickens and Poe and Whitman—all the works that are considered great representations of their art form.

Martin’s poetry is nothing like theirs. His lines don’t follow the same rhythms; his words are clumsier, his images less profound. But still, even though Jon knows that it is technically not good poetry, he… he likes it.

He tries not to analyze that feeling too closely.

“So, um. Yeah,” Martin says after he finishes, rubbing his thumb over his ring. “I-It’s not really… great work, heh, you know, s-sorry.”

Jon is not the comforting sort. He’s been told that he’s too sharp at the edges, skin too full of spines and thorns. So he surprises himself, and probably his grandmother from beyond the grave, when he reaches across the table and takes Martin’s hand in his. It’s soft and big, the pads of Martin’s fingers lightly calloused from a past history of manual labor, and Jon thinks just for a moment how small his own hands look in Martin’s. He surprises himself even more when he says, honestly, “I enjoyed it, Martin.”

Martin blinks at him, eyes wide and owlish. His hand is rigid in Jon’s, like he’s afraid that if he moves, he’ll frighten Jon away like a skittish cat. “O-Oh.” It’s hard to tell in the dim light, but Jon thinks Martin might be blushing. “Well. T-Thanks.”

Jon nods once stiffly. He does not retract his hand. At first, it’s because he doesn’t think to do so, too wrapped up in the feeling of his skin against Martin’s. Then, it’s because it’s been long enough that doing so would be more awkward than keeping his hand there. He asks Martin about the inspiration behind the poem, for want of another conversation topic, and Martin talks about the trip he took to the countryside once and how it stuck with him, and Jon’s hand remains atop Martin’s. Martin takes a drink from his glass, and Jon takes a drink from his, but both of them use their free hands, as if in unspoken agreement that this is just how things are now. Jon’s hand is resting atop Martin’s and it will be until he has just cause to move it and that is just the way of the universe. Nothing to be done about it.

Their food comes, and looking extremely regretful about the fact, Martin extracts his hand from underneath Jon’s and reaches for his fork. They don’t mention the loss, and it’s quiet for a period of time while Jon eats his chicken karahi and Martin eats his squash curry and Jon tries not to openly moan at how good the food is.

Something must show on his face, because Martin smiles warmly at him and says, “Well? Was that Yelp reviewer correct when they said that the chicken karahi is ‘literally the best food they’ve ever eaten in their entire life’?”

Jon swallows a bite of admittedly very good chicken. “Well. I don’t know that I would quite go to that extreme, but it is rather enjoyable.” Reminds me of the way my grandmother used to make it, he doesn’t say. That feels like a date conversation, and this isn’t a date.

(It feels very much like a date.)

(It isn’t a date.)

“Good,” Martin says. Then, he smiles, wide and unabashed and like a ray of sunlight, and Jon quickly buries himself in his food again so he doesn’t say something foolish like I really like it when you smile at me like that or Is this a date? or I would very much like this to be a date.

They finish eating, and the waiter takes away their plates with the promise of bringing the check soon. Jon’s hands rest on the table, index finger fiddling with the edge of the cloth placemat in front of him. He’s in the middle of trying to convince himself that yes, it would be ridiculous to take Martin’s hand again, you should definitely not do that on this very much not-a-date, when Martin reaches out and takes Jon’s hand in his. Properly takes it, pressing their palms together and slotting his fingers easily between Jon’s and knocking their rings together as he squeezes gently.

“Um,” Jon says eloquently. He should very much not ask if this is a date. “What are you doing?”

Nope, that’s worse. That’s definitely worse.

“Oh!” Martin lets go of Jon’s hand immediately, and Jon does not try to chase Martin’s hand as it retracts, thank you very much. He’s more dignified than that. “S-Sorry, I thought… I, um. Never mind. I-I shouldn’t have… sorry. Again.”

“It’s fine,” Jon finds himself saying. Then, in an effort to do damage control: “I… didn’t mind.”

“You… didn’t?” Martin seems confused, which is understandable. If Georgie were here, she’d tell him that he’s giving, quote, ‘mixed signals.’ He’d never quite understood what counts as ‘mixed signals,’ and he doesn’t know that he ever will.

“I did not,” Jon confirms. “I just… I suppose I…”

He should not ask if this is a date. He really, really shouldn’t.

“Is this a-a date?”

It appears he’s found another one of the holes in his verbal filter. Lovely.

Martin’s eyes grow impossibly wider. He makes a series of sputtering sounds as Jon waits and tries not to bounce a hole through the floor with the heel of his foot. “You—you didn’t…” Martin seems to have a miniature internal debate with himself, his face cycling through a dozen different expressions over the next few seconds. Finally, he sighs and says, eyes fixated on the table between them, “I had… intended it to be. Though I suppose if—if you didn’t know it was a date, that. Um. Kind of defeats the purpose.”

“Does it?” Jon’s mouth says without his permission.

“I-I mean… you can’t really have a one-sided date,” Martin says with an awkward laugh. The waiter is nowhere to be seen, which Jon is grateful for and disheartened by in equal measure. This situation would certainly be easier with a convenient escape.

“I… suppose.” Jon worries at the edge of the placemat, pulling on a loose thread. “Though, it’s… if this were a date—or, I suppose, if I-I’d known it was meant to be a date—I… wouldn’t have acted much differently.” He pulls harder at the thread, feeling a bit bad for the way the fabric bunches around it. “I… would not have been… that is to say, I would have liked it if… rather, to say that I didn’t think about it would be, er… well, incorrect.”

Martin stares at him, clearly unable to make sense of Jon’s admittedly disjointed, half-finished sentences. Jon sighs and says, under his breath, “I am not opposed to considering tonight a date.”

Martin’s cheeks are red enough now that Jon can see the flush, even in the dim light. “U-Um. What?”

“I am not opposed,” Jon repeats, louder, “to considering tonight a date.” Lord, that’s mortifying to say out loud. How do people do this? To emphasize his point, he sticks his hand out, palm-up on the table. It’s stiff and awkward and he probably looks like a cat with its hackles raised. He focuses on the cable knit of Martin’s jumper so he doesn’t have to see whatever amused or mocking or disappointed expression is on Martin’s face as he realizes just how bad Jon is at all of this.

Martin is quiet for a moment. Then, just as Jon is about to pull his hand away and flee for the exit, he feels a touch against his palm. Martin’s hand settles tentatively atop his—not weaving their fingers together, not even properly holding it, just… pressing together, palm to palm. Jon can feel Martin’s heartbeat faintly against the tips of his fingers where they press against the inside of Martin’s wrist. “Okay,” Martin says softly, like Jon has just given him a precious gift. “Then it’s a date.”

It’s a date. Jon’s skin has absolutely no reason to prickle at those words, nor does his stomach have any reason to squeeze and sprout butterflies. He nods, a bit brusquely, and opens his mouth to say something—god knows what—when the waiter appears next to their table, somehow having both comically bad and impossibly good timing.

Martin pays, despite Jon’s insistence that he can cover his own share, and then they’re back out in the cool night air, making their way toward the tube station. The first few minutes are quiet. There’s a tension between them that feels more anticipatory than awkward. Their hands brush once, twice. Then, on the third time, Martin hooks his fingers around Jon’s and clasps his hand in his, and Jon lets out a breath he hadn’t known he’d been holding.

They hold hands all the way to the tube station, up until they have to part ways to take separate lines. Jon runs through all the things that he thinks he’s supposed to say in a situation like this—I had fun tonight or We should do this again sometime or… something—but ends up saying instead, “How long have you…?”

He trails off, squeezing Martin’s hand a few times thoughtlessly, like a warm, bony stress ball. Martin seems to infer the rest of his question, however, because he squeezes Jon’s hand in return and says, “It’s… new for me too, if that’s what you’re asking.”

Jon nods and squeezes Martin’s hand again. He thinks that’s going to become quite a habit if they keep this up. “Right.”

Martin hesitates, before letting his grip on Jon’s hand loosen slightly. “We… we don’t have to do this again if you don’t want to. I-I know things are complicated right now, and I…” He worries his bottom lip between his teeth. “I want to do this again, for… for what it’s worth. But I get it. If you don’t, that is. For—for any reason.”

“I do,” Jon says, surprising himself with his conviction. “I-I don’t… you’re right. Things are… complicated.” That’s certainly a word for it. “But I… I trust you, Martin. O-Or… I want to trust you.” He takes a deep breath. “I am making the decision to trust you.” It’s hard and it’s terrifying and there’s an animal instinct deep within Jon that’s telling him not to expose his vulnerable side, but… somehow, despite all of that, Martin makes him feel… well. Not safe, but as close to safe as he can get right now. Which is an accomplishment in its own right.

Martin exhales slowly and gives Jon a small, hesitant smile. “Thank you. I-I know that’s difficult, and I…” Martin squeezes Jon’s hand, just once. “I-I’m happy.”

And Jon finds that he means it when he says softly, “I’m happy too.”

Martin gets on his train, and Jon gets on his. And despite the ever-present itching beneath his skin and the persistent belief that something isn’t right and the knowledge that he is likely a hunted man, from the moment he lets go of Martin’s hand to the moment he closes his eyes and curls onto his side in bed, that happiness remains.

[mandareeboo]

SU Music Rankings

Bc I can and I wanna start some Disk Horse rip. These are all in order of preference, with explanations, etc. It’s a long bitch. That said, I’m not counting little short jingles or small joke songs like Little Butler. This is the meat and potatoes of SU music- just under 30 songs. I might do the rest if people like my takes lol.

I scored it mostly on three bases- how dear it was to my heart, how much/often I relisten to it, and also what it means to the plot. That said, little fun songs don’t automatically go farther down than big, plot-heavy songs either! It’s a strange little balance.

Special Note: I don’t dislike any of this music! I love SU and that includes its bumps and glitches. I just pick favorite children lol.

1.) Change

Was there ever a more Steven moment than when he wiped the blood off his face and kissed it into sparkles? I think not. 

If “Be Wherever You Are” is an ode to young Steven, then this is teen Steven’s. Talking about change, and how much and how little it can do. How he holds his arms up for Spinel to hug him, so trusting. How he seems able to just. Break into soft tears at will, and not to be manipulative- it’s just his kind nature. The warmth in his voice. Fuck yesssss.

2.) Change Your Mind

This song is only fifty five seconds and it’s EVERYTHING to me. It really felt like someone was speaking the words I’d always held deep inside of me, unsure of how to say. It feels like a goodbye to someone who never really loved me. 

As much as I enjoyed Future, if this was the finale of SU, I would’ve been perfectly okay with that.

3.) Drift Away

This song gave me legitimate shivers the first time I heard it, and it still haunts me to this day. Spinel stayed, and waited, and all she got was a transmission thousands of years later. Fuck.

4.) Here We Are In The Future

THE MOVIE IS SU AS ITS BEST AND I WON’T BE SWAYED ON IT. Steven being a teen who loves his weird family but is growing just a bit sarcastic to their drama. The adorable love he and Connie share. His slow realization that he will always be working, always have things to do, is both somber and real. The Crystal Gems won’t be safe with one epic battle. They’ll be safe with years of hard work and love. HIS LITTLE HANDSHAKE WITH AMETHYST.

This is a helluva bop and a great way to summarize the main character’s backstories.

5.) Let’s Only Think About Love

Did ya’ll know that Zach Callison killed his throat with that last note? He gave his all for this performance in a vocal range he no longer comfortably do and by god did it SHINE. The FLAIR. The FORESHADOWING. All of the Gems all being awkward about Rose and Steven trying to bring them to the present. Peridot having a mini-existential crisis in a cute yellow dress. I love Zach Callison’s normal singing voice but man is that a fucking bop. Nothing will ever beat it.

6.) Here Comes A Thought

This bad boy helped me out a LOT with some mental issues I was dealing with in high school. I was unmedicated, unsupervised, and full of anxiety. I’d have break downs when I tried to speak about certain things. I couldn’t function. This song inspired me. It helped me feel okay with my intrusive thoughts.

And the episode! -chef’s kiss-. Once again bringing up the morally gray area of training child soldiers. Connie expanding her social group. Steven’s trauma hauling ass in that second half. The ANIMATION. Stevonnie’s gorgeous singing voice. GOD yes.

7.) It’s Over Isn’t It?

Just barely squeaking above Stronger Than You, this ballad is everything gorgeous. The whole episode is. I think Mr. Greg stands in the top five of my episodes for the entire show. It even got nominated!

There’s just so much about this song that I love. The gentle melancholy of Pearl’s voice. How the crew had to redo the shots for this bit bc Deedee went so fucking hard. The hard cuts between Pearl, remembering the love of her life, and Steven, who has begun to feel like he took her away. I’d recommend this song to anyone, regardless of what they do or don’t know about SU, simply bc it tugs so many heartstrings of love, loss, and responsibility.

8.) Stronger Than You

Did you realize this episode aired SEVEN years ago? This bitch was what got me into SU! Hearing about Ruby and Sapphire made my little gay heart so happy inside, and then getting a whole song confirming that they were a couple, that their love powered the strongest Gem on the team? Aaaaaaaaa

To this DAY I get excited when I hear Estelle start singing. This song is timeless. This song will live in media history. God I fucking love this song.

9.) Other Friends

I’m not the biggest musical person, so I hadn’t heard of Sarah Stiles before her casting as Spinel, but JESUS CHRIST the lady went hard. She went SO fucking hard. Sarah Stiles started on 100 and somehow just kept CLIMBING. You can just hear the sheer manic energy building in her voice, the anger and resentment. 10/10 Sarah Stiles is a queen.

10.) Independent Together

This made the list entirely bc the crew was like “you’re gonna get a himbo ass Steven-Greg fusion singing with Opal while Garnet flies across the moon on Lion while floating” and I am forever thankful to them for it

11.) Who We Are

Bismuth deserved more songs. ‘Nuff said.

12.) Peace and Love (On the Planet Earth)

It Could’ve been Great is EASILY one of my favorite s2 episodes. I love the entire concept of this song. Of Steven making music to reflect how much Earth means to him and his family. Of him teaching Peridot some self-care. Also Peridot’s singing voice is really cute and squeaky. 

I know it’s silly, but I would’ve really enjoyed a flip around of this in Future! Like Peridot reminding Steven how much he loves music, that he needs to take time to relax for himself, maybe with a new verse or just a remix of the original song!

13.) Something Entirely New

I watched this episode as it aired, and I legitimately almost cried. I love Charlyne Yi’s voice so much ya’ll- her raspy, not perfect singing voice against Sapphire’s deep soothing lull is great.

And to have Ruby and Sapphire’s meeting be the way it was- for Ruby to bemoan Sapphire losing Homeworld, to being stuck with a single Ruby, while Sapphire is a noble who has always been taught everyone in her “caste” is vitally important (and has, in her own mind, taken that to mean every Gem, as she should) and how they come together and make each other happy. Good shit good shit.

14.) I’m Just a Comet

The fact that Greg’s music career never really blasted off pisses me off to this day bc Tom Scharpling’s voice is fucking BUTTER. Also the song really feels like a jab at his parents now that we know the kind of dynamic he had growing up. “This life in the stars if all I’ve ever known” is definitely him wiping away their existence after reminding them (and himself) the things they used to say about him.

15.) Do It For Her

This episode. This fucking episode. This episode got me permanently hooked on SU. I’d just binged season 1 and was kinda meh about it overall after the bop of Stronger Than You. “Oh,” I thought to myself, foolishly, “I’ll probably just casually watch this from time to time.”

Like three days later Sworn to the Sword aired and that was it. I was hooked! Pearl’s gentle training song turning darker and darker, Connie’s accompaniment from nervous to determined to fully into such a toxic mindset. The fact that SU had the BALLS to discuss the repercussions of training child soldiers, now and later. This episode was everything to me, STILL is everything to me.

Six years and well over 100 fanfics written later, I think it’s safe to say this show swallowed me whole and never let go.

16.) System/Boot.pearl_final(3)

I debated putting this on the list because it’s not anything crazy important, just a way to show things are Wrong, but I had to do it entirely bc Pearl is so damn SALTY.

Like telling us about the Gems makes sense, she felt like she was given a duty, but she went so damn petty. WHY is that Ruby alone. Gross. This Amethyst is a trash dump. Wtf are you people.

17.) Full Disclosure

This episode really feels like a turning point for SU. Before, the show had its dark moments- but now we’re in the thick of it, and it’s not going away. Full Disclosure felt like an rebuff to the idea of returning to any normal we’d established in season 1. Gems are actually a giant species now. Gems tried to kill us now. There’s this Yellow Diamond bitch who got namedropped. Something about a Cluster. 

The song itself is BALLER, with its ingenious use of Steven’s ringtone and photos as he tries to decide whether to clue in Connie on all this nonsense. Meanwhile we, the audience, already know damn well Connie about to yeet some common sense into him.

18.) What’s the Use of Feeling Blue?

I’mma admit it- I’m a Yellow Diamond stan. I’ve always loved her- her anger, her poise, her hardworking nature. I actively argued against the “Yellow Shattered Pink” theories back in the day. But, man, when this arc leaked? I got so overexcited I was too jittery to watch it for like two days. It’s easily my favorite arc of the series. The sheer alien nature of the zoo, the Famethyst, and absolutely Patti Lupone’s beautiful ballad. Goddamn. Yellow singing to Blue to try and help her regain her old status, the warble in her voice as she reminds Blue she misses Pink too, the movement of the bubbles as she talks about attack. It gives me shivers to this day. FUCK.

19.) Tower of Mistakes

This is, fun fact, that only SU song I have completely memorized. The story itself is kinda funny! See, we lost internet at my house for a solid 5 to 6 months when these episodes aired, so I only got a very brief window to view them all. But this was the first Amethyst song in a long while, and I didn’t want to forget it! So I keep replaying it in my head for ages. And that’s still definitely a thing.

Anyway will never not be sad that this entire song was about making it up to Garnet for Amethyst’s perceived slights with Sugilite (which was a two-way road), only for Garnet to pressure her into fusion later when pissed and never discuss it again bc Garnet probably never thought twice about it and Amethyst has the emotional openness of a clam that’s just been told its ugly. Helluva way to make someone feel like shit, G. Helluva way to bottle that shit, Ames.

20.) On the Run

I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times: Amethyst! Needed! More! Songs! 

The dichotomy between Steven’s play and Amethyst’s honest desire to run away from home is so well-done, especially when you consider a lot of Steven and Amethyst’s actions are playing together. The song is also near and dear to me simply bc it’s my favorite Amethyst episode to exist (well, maybe second to What’s Your Problem, but not by much). Moments like these are all the proof I need that they were right to fuse first.

21.) Be Wherever You Are

This tune really just feels like an ode to who Steven was as a kid. Trapped on an island with no way home, and he’s just happy to be with his friends. The stars are beautiful and not oppressive. Also that one animatic with Lars and the Off Colors playing in the Homeworld Kindergarten to this music was iconic and made this song get stuck in my head for a solid month.

22.) Familiar

I ADORE how the crew use bright neon colors to show how alien Homeworld can be. And Steven recognizing that the Diamonds treat him how the CGs used to, and how prepared he is to “fix” a broken family. It’s a soft, gentle tune about melancholy. Also the Pebbles are beautiful.

23.) Let Me Drive My Van Into Your Heart

Such a cute little love ballad, but every time I listen to it now I just imagine the heart attack Rose must’ve had at the line “And if we look out of place/Well, baby, that's okay/I'll drive us into outer space.” like there’s a Vietnam war flashback if I ever heard one

24.) What Can I Do?

I’m kind of neutral on this one? Rose and Greg both have great voices, but the song itself lacks many lyrics. I think it was definitely a good way to show Rose’s flaws in thinking.

Also, I’m shocked they managed cram that much vaguely sexual innuendo into two minutes, followed by how Not Hetereo that dance between Rose and Pearl was, and not get their asses chewed by it. You go guys.

25.) Cookie Cat

I love a lot of the vibes this song has. The lyrics are so damn prophetic, but they also sound like the kind of weird 90s commercials I grew up on. It’s been like two decades since I saw the Shirley Temple commercial but I’ll be damned if I don’t remember “Animals crackers in my soup! Monkey and rabbits loop-de-loop.”

26.) Giant Woman

I am. NOT the biggest fan of Steven’s original singing voice. I feel bad saying that, since it was just Zach Callison as a kid, but he never jived well with me for some reason. So I wouldn’t listen to this on the fly. 

The song itself is still really good though, with all sorts of fun animation of Amethyst and Pearl being bitchy to each other. It’s a bit sad in hindsight to see tiny Steven trying to get his moms to get along. Ahh, season 1.

27.) Strong in the Real Way

This song has SUCH a strong start. Pearl reflecting on Sugilite’s problems, but the show making sure to show us that Pearl’s lack of enthusiasm towards her also lends itself to jealousy as well as just general malaise. How much she cares about Steven, and wants him to grow up strong. 

And then Steven just kinda. Ruins it? I appreciate his enthusiasm for tryna bulk up but to take what was starting as such a rich, personal song and broadcasting it to random strangers just makes me a bit sad. Almost a bit angry on her behalf?

28.) That Distant Shore

I KNOW this is gonna create some discourse, but I’m just not the biggest Lapis stan. I love her voice. I love the visuals of the song. And I get why she felt afraid and needed to flee.

But Lapis never got to take responsibility for her own actions. And, in the end, the song feels hollow to me- because we all know she’ll never talk to anyone about it, know she’ll burst back in and destroy the barn, and no one will ever question it. I like Lapis a lot, but I feel like her arc never was fully finished. She never got help. She never learned to feel safe.

29.) Dear Old Dad

I’ve yet to meet a single human being who likes this episode tbh. There’s some great discussion about what kind of parent Greg is from it, and what kind of dynamic he has with the Gems that he felt he had to fake an injury to hang out with his son. Honestly the first half was fine and dandy. It’s just that then they Greg just went out of his way to drag Steven away from missions and such. It never jived well with his character before or after.

Also, is it just me, or does Zach himself sound like he hates the song as he sings it? There’s no passion or heart in his voice. It sounds like they told him to read off cue cards and he did. Tom Scharpling’s best attempts didn’t save this one for being a skipper. But the episode, unfortunately, isn’t, so it gets a spot on here.

[in-tua-deep]

Are you into my hero academia? What about an AU or crossover with tua?

UHHHH I am technically, like, peripherally? I watched some seasons of the show like two or three years ago and since then have simply absorbed all content through osmosis, reading fanfiction that has canon events, and my sister telling me about the arcs of her fav characters lmao

so a crossover hmmm

First of all you'd have to like, establish whether bnha is an alternate universe or just The Future If No Apocalypse with quirks being traced back to the descendants of the kids born without mothers

So let's say it's that - the glowing baby was the "first quirk" but the truth is people had powers before that. But - well, the Umbrella Academy was obviously a marketing gimmick to those in the future! There were even comics based on them

In the future, you might find some of those comics in museum exhibits dedicated to depictions of powers in the pre-quirk era, but they're just fun depictions and much less popular than, oh, DC or MCU comics which are also in the exhibits!

End of s2 doesn't happen I guess in this au?? No sparrow academy at least lmao. So, the Umbrella Academy stop the apocalypse (again) and the Commission threat is? Neutralized? Whatever. They decide to jump back to the future

Five warns them that time travel is a crapshoot, that he has no fucking idea when they'll land beyond some nebulous "future" because Five can at least control the direction if not exactly how long

Also, Five is like. Super tired. Incredibly tired. Homeboy still has a healing gut wound, time traveled twice, has been jumping all over the place, gotten even more injured, experienced paradox psychosis, and managed to undo time all in the space of like, two weeks. There actually more than that but we don't have time to get into how fucking tired Five is from his ~Month of Hell

Like genuinely this is like putting someone almost delirious from lack of sleep in the driver's seat of a car and expecting to get to your destination in one piece

But hey, the siblings are like "do it uwu" and Five has sacrificed everything for them already so why not get behind the wheel again

So Five jumps them, and of course something goes wrong because Five has pushed his powers like a great big rubber band and honestly it was only a matter of time before he lost his grip and it snapped back to hit him

So here be the umbrella academy: spilled out into the future like a cup of bad coffee.

Five probably isn't in too good of shape tbh, like they're hundreds of years in the future (but hey at least confirmation of no apocalypse am I right) in a world full of superpowers and Five is like. bleeding from his ears and nose probably idk

Let's handwave a little bit - Reginald made them all polyglots so the squad all speak varying levels of Japanese. Allison is the best at it, Five is second best but tends to use more archaic words bc he had missions in Japan back when he was with the commission, and Klaus is third best.

(Ben is the worst bc he decided when he was 16-and-dead that he didn't have to do anything regarding lessons and maintenance and hasn't given a shit since - but also he's dead so)

So you have a bunch of weird adults with a bleeding child in like, an alley who have appeared from nowhere

so of course heroes get involved

Anyway, the squad get taken in and Five is conscious but like, barely? And he's not going to let himself get separated from his siblings again fuck-you-officer and there is a lot of confusion

anyway detective tsukauchi ends up getting involved and ends up having to hear this batshit story and be like "...truth." which sends all kinds of people scrambling because fucking time travel? Like yeah, it's been theorized to be a possible quirk but there's no recorded cases of any sort of time travel that is for more than 24 hours let alone hundreds of years

"I'm an adult." Five says sourly, "I just happened to be returned to my 13 year old body when I time traveled one time."

"True." Tsukauchi says, feeling his soul leave his body, but like. absently. the way he does when he's called in at 2am after getting off of work at midnight.

"I'm 58." Five says.

"Lie." Tsukauchi says, because this is a headcanon hill I will die on.

"I'm probably 58, but it was hard to keep track. I'm at least 50." Five corrects.

"True." Tsukauchi sighs like these six (seven? they keep referring to another sibling and Klaus said 'ghost' like that was fine and it registered as true and Tsukauchi is not nearly paid enough for this) are not giving him a migraine by just existing

on the bright side there's like, probably protocols in place for individuals who are Legally Chronologically Adults but thanks to quirks are Not Physically Or Not Mentally Adults with tests to determine if the individual needs a guardian or not

though i'm gonna be honest idk if Five would pass the test bc he literally cannot take care of himself at all, has never paid taxes or understands how to exist legally, and also his emotional maturity is stunted as all hell. also like. we don't actually know how much being in his thirteen-year-old body affects his mental state but yeAH Five is vibing

anyway Tsukauchi probably phones a friend on this bullshit because Time Travel Child alone is probably enough for the Hero Commission to be like "find a way to control and use it or nuke it from orbit" and that's not even touching whatever the fuck Klaus is doing (shit gets real once 'dead men tell no tales' stops being true) let ALONE Allison's whole deal

on the bright side like, at least Vanya isn't getting side-eyed that much bc Big Destructive Quirks aren't exactly unknown? if vanya wanted to i guess quirk suppressors exist for that until extensive training on how to control a super powerful quirk happens

Tsukauchi in the group chat: Aizawa please I am literally begging you to take this bullshit on

Aizawa: in this economy? with my class?

RatGod: lol we'll take them ;3c

Aizawa: no

Anyway they probably end up having to live at UA while Five insists on trying to get them home still and everyone else is like "oh hey we used to be child soldiers as well! (:" and Aizawa is like "i hate everything about this and everything about all of you but also like nedzu is making me interact with you so :/"

nedzu is out here vibing like "lol i just don't want the hero commission to get their little paws on these time traveling fuckers, i think you should make then teaching assistants or something"

honestly the siblings are probably like. figuring out how to function in the bnha universe and getting like, legally registered and stuff while Five ferally refuses bc that's like saying he's giving up on getting them home and he can do this

Recovery girl tries to heal him a little when he arrives and he passes out for two weeks like, immediately bc homeboy is running on fumes and spite at this point

also i think on principle it would be REALLY FUNNY if the squad got to tag along with the class bc like. Five is thirteen and the class are all 15. this does not sound like a large age gap. anyone who has interacted with teenagers know that the class would squint at Five and be like "who is this sassy lost middle schooler."

I feel like when I was a sophomore we were still like "freshman... babie" even though we were literally only one year older.

i think the difference between the umbrella academy and school kids would be pretty funny like. objectively the bnha kids are lowkey child soldiers?? like they're 15 and fighting villains but like, there's all this red tape and laws and stuff but,,, deku still be breaking his limbs in a child fighting ring against equally superpowered children for like. entertainment and sponsorships sooo

but also like Five would be like "oh cool when is the experimentation class"

"the what"

"you know, when your powers are pushed real hard by putting you in different terrible situations while your dad and sibling stand by with clipboards writing down the exact voltage it takes before you can't use your powers anymore when being electrocuted"

"hound dog's office is right there. therapy is available to you at any time. i need you to know this."

all might calls Luther "my boy" like one (1) time and Luther just breaks down crying probably because he is starved for positive attention

klaus and midnight get along like a literal house on fire, aizawa tried his best to keep them apart for as long as possible but god damn

(klaus: your name is shimura nana??

all might: immediately dies choking on blood)

i feel it absolutely necessary to point out that aizawa, present mic, and midnight are all like, 30? and the umbrella academy are all between 29-early 30s? they are PEERS but like. the umbrella academy are more chaotic due to childhood trauma

the umbrella academy probably get offered to like. also train to be heroes. i mean,, there HAS to be some sort of track for people who change careers right?? you don't have to cement your future as a hero when you're 15 i'm sure there must be something and the squad already have experience if they want to go be legal heroes

diego probably does at least?? diego just vibes honestly. diego gets momo to make knives during a team exercise and they just go feral on everyone else and it ends with diego highfiving momo and someone getting way to close to being stabbed for comfort

Five might just be. legally enrolled as an Actual Student? But also i think it's funny to picture the entire squad just. all in the back of the classroom with luther trying to fit into a high school desk as they take notes on the laws of The Future surrounding heroics

every word out of the umbrella academy's mouths just make everyone more concerned on principal but like, five and klaus are probably the worst offenders. Klaus just says whatever comes to mind with no filter and Five doesn't get what people would consider to be abnormal anymore like

Five: yeah our dad bought us when we were babies and experimented on us throughout our childhood in order to make an elite team of child soldiers superheroes, it happens

Todoroki: ...have you heard of quirk marriages?

izuku probably has an aneurism bc he's is the only person who might recognize them from the comics because you know ya boy extensively researched the idea of heroics in pre-quirk eras (batman was an inspiration alright???) and might dredge up a memory of a less popular comic series

Five: I can time travel but it is very hard, which is why we are hundreds of years in the future. And why I look like a child.

Kaminari: so are you a kid or not?

Five, serenely: whatever is most convenient for me at any given moment

Mina: hell yeah game the system

they have a brief lesson on astronomy and Luther raises his hand like "ooh! i was isolated on the moon for four years and did SO MUCH research" and then just gets up and starts infodumping like way too much information on the moon

Izuku sitting there like "damn if quirks hadn't popped up we could have achieved so much in terms of space travel. please tell me more giant man who lived in pre-quirk era."

Vanya finds out about the quirkless and is like "oh mood that genuinely sounds like my childhood, being ordinary in a house full of extraordinary people, and then i found out that i did have powers but only much later in life after i had already been emotionally scarred by the experience"

deku: vanya we have so much in common

iida and uraraka: concerned noises

aizawa: hound dog. therapy with hound dog for all of you.

there's probably some conflict with like, the hero commission wanting to get their hands on the time travelers?? but probably especially five and klaus as a) time travel and b) ghosts (the hc def has bodies they would like to stay buried)

five has a pavlovian reaction to anything with 'commission' in the name and hates them on site, probably plays into his age in order to become a ward of UA or something to protect him from the commission a little bit.

(this makes nedzu Five's legal guardian. aizawa has his resignation papers all prepped in a drawer marked 'in case of emergency' but let's be real, if nedzu wants to take over the world aizawa should probably be on the rat-bear's side of things :/)

five: ah, i do recall the inhumane experimentation that we were subjected to

nedzu, who was experimented on: haha same hat! want me to dig up the location of reginald hargreeves's remains so you can spit on them?

klaus: nah no worries we dumped them out in the courtyard unceremoniously like, a while back. how long ago varies for each of us because of time travel!

luther: you said hound dog's office was down the hall and to the right?

on the bright side, Luther probably feels like. way less self conscious about his body, partially bc of his fighting and all that in the 60s but also bc !! now he genuinely doesn't feel like a freak. no one even gives him a second glance. one of the teachers looks like a slab of cement with a face. gang orca looks Like That. there is literally a student with an entire bird head and goth aesthetic. Luther does not stick out at all

allison and shinso bond over having "villainous" voice-based quirks

allison and shinso having worn muzzles at some point in their youth as punishment 🤝

aizawa probably helps train vanya as well with the whole, being able to erase a world ending quirk safely thing he's got going on which makes for a very nice safety net

i don't think vanya would want to be a hero at the end of things though. maybe the assistant teacher in the music class or something?? all vanya wants is to be able to not end the world

i feel like as time goes by, five brings up trying to get home less and less. part of that is because like,,, genuinely what do they have to go back to?? Allison has Claire, but like. I'm 100% sure the first thing she did in the future was try track down Claire's records and found out Claire was like. fine. became an adult, had a family, probably became the ancestor of the first "quirked" kids who officially popped up after light baby. had a good life, died at an old age etc. etc.

they start settling into the bnha world with like, "we can always hop aboard the five express into where the fuck ever" as a plan Z if things go completely pear shaped (again)

i'mma be real, five himself doesn't give a fuck as long as there is a) no apocalypse and b) his family is alive. Like that's it. His bar is so incredibly low and yet his life keeps fucking trying to limbo under it

i just think it would be funny to have like, Five trying to get along with his "peers" and make friends while the siblings do the same but like, in the staff room

also think it would be funny for five to just walk into the staff room and get coffee occasionally.

a teacher: why is a student in here -

Five, sipping coffee: i'm an adult

nedzu like "what kind of guardian would i be if i didn't teach my new son all the tunnels around ua so he can pop out wherever"

five like "hey new dad can i put stashes of supplies all around ua of weapons, money, food, and other assorted things that might be useful if one needed to fight or make a run for it" and nedzu is like "haha just put your list of what supplies you want in your go bags on my desk and i'll critique it later!"

anyway a bnha/tua crossover would be incredibly chaotic but probably very funny

[yackers]

this might be an unpopular opinion but i kinda liked it when Sibuna was only the original 5. I didn't mind the others knowing about it, but i felt like more people being apart of it lost some of the mystery.

I dunno if you mean the original 5 as in like the s1 & 2 sibuna members or like just the 5 sibuna members of each season but I agree to some extent. like I can't say I ever wanted joy or jerome to officially join sibuna because seven members is soo much of the house I think a lot of the show's charm lies in having the unrelated side plots alongside the mystery. plus I think it's unrealistic to have that many kids willing to participate in ancient quests and stick their neck out for everyone and without the secrecy the show wouldn't make sense and the club wouldn't feel special.

however, joy was involved in the mystery from the very start of the show and was clued up on the cult and chosen one stuff before sibuna even knew it existed. and alfie was only in the club all of ten seconds before jerome got involved so we barely even got the core 5 before that. idk joy and jerome were never actually in on the mystery and the clues, and were instead just in it to save themselves and their friends in s1 and trudy/nina in s2. I liked the variation, and the team ups towards the end of the season were a great way of showing that the stakes were higher and that everyone was desperate. neither of them actually wanted to be in sibuna once they actually knew what it was like, they had just felt left out before, when they'd thought it was just an exclusive friendship group. like I see people say joy only left because of fabian as if she doesn't spend the whole of s3 telling patricia and alfie that the whole thing is stupid and crazy. I just don't think she quite gets it

but like if you're talking about eddie knowing, whilst I missed him primarily interacting with patricia and his friends in fun sweet ways I think his involvement was super necessary to replace nina as they set it up before she left. and as much as I love the og 5, I love s3 sibuna too.

and after that, the only other person that actually joins sibuna is mara in tor which I think was deserved after three seasons of oblivion and frankly her leaving the house without ever knowing how insane her friends' lives were there would've been super unsatisfying. she only even knew about it for less than fifty minutes of screen time so like I don't think it impacted too much.

so like yeah I totally agree, five sibuna members is plenty, but help from the others was super fun to watch in the intense final episodes of each season.

[dogbeegone]

Hey guys, haven’t made an original post in some time lol. If you guys don’t know, Steve Blackman released the episode names for season three of the Umbrella Academy. I’ve been thinking about what each episode might be about and I have a general idea for each!

Here’s the titles of you haven’t seen already:

Meet the family: I think this title is a pretty self explanatory one. We’re gonna meet the sparrow academy. We’ll probably see them as kids and we’ll get to see all of their powers. I’m also sure that there is going to be a fight scene between the Sparrow Academy (SA) and the Umbrella Academy (UA).

Worlds biggest ball of twine: I think this episode is going to be the UA figuring out how their actions in the 60s affect their current present. I think Harlan, Sissy, Ray, the people at the asylum (they’re gonna thing Diego had something to do with JFK’s death or something) and the overall damage they’ve done (y’know being wanted world wide) is gonna hit them all hard in this episode.

Pocket full of lightning: Now i’m a bit stumped about this episode. When i think of lightning in a UA sense, I think of powers, which leads me to believe this could be a Five or one of the SA centric episode. We also know from the comics that Luther and Five are twins (and considering it was a big part of book three, I feel like they’re gonna work it in somehow). I feel like this episode could hint at the two of them being twins, but overall idk.

Kugelblitz: During the time when Steve was introducing the titles, he said that we’re going to have to search up what kugelblitz meant. So... i did.

Because a kugelblitz has to do with energy, I feel as though this episode is going to have something to do with Vanya and her powers. If it’s not about Vanya, I feel like this could be a Reginald episode. We know the third comic is about Hotel Oblivion (which is a hotel in space), so perhaps this has something to do with how Reggie gets to the hotel/how he created it. If not, I definitely feel like this episode will have some power explosion from someone and I think that someone is Vanya.

Kindest Cut: For this episode, I have a few ideas of what it could be about. I feel like it could be about pushing forward the fact that Luther and Five are twins (like how it cuts deep that they’re twins but in some way it’s a good cut y’know. maybe they go to where they were born and find out they’re twins or something). I also feel like this episode could be about Diego. If that is the case, that means we’d get a better look into what Lila has been up to and how the commission is. I think both options are good tbh.

Marigold: This episode is definitely about Reginalds backstory. Marigold is supposed to represent the little energy orbs Reginald released in S1 E10 and the ones Vanya put into Harlan in S2 E4(?). Because of this, I feel like we’re finally going to see more of Reginalds history, as well as a bit of where Harlan is too. He was given the orb things, which leads me to believe that he’s going to have something to do with this episode.

Auf Wiedersehen: Klaus episode! There is no way this isn’t a Klaus centric episode. Klaus, is German, and so is the name of the title. Also, we know from bts photos and videos that the Berlin Wall is going to be featured in episode seven The Berlin Wall was also destroyed in 1989 (i think. not 100% sure on that if someone wants to fact check me lol). The Berlin Wall also happens to be located in Germany. So, what I think is going to happen in this episode is that Klaus is going to go to Germany to find a version of himself that wasn’t taken in by Reginald. He’s going to get upset (obvi) and he’s going to have to say goodbye to a part of him he always wished he had (auf wiedersehen means goodbye in German). I think this of it has something to do with saying goodbye to Dave. Considering Dave was dispatched early into the military, we very well could have a different outcome for him.

Wedding at the End of the World: This title reminds me of S1 E1 - We only see Each Other at Weddings and Funerals. I think this episode is going to have the same vibe as the pilot episode. We all know Allison was once married in her life time (well, she was married twice, but yk what I mean). Because of thugs, I feel that we’re going to see why her and Luther have the connection they have in this episode. I’m not 100% sure if this is true (fact check me again lol), but I think that Allison rumoured Luther into liking her. If that’s the case, I think that’s going to be revealed in this episode. This means that Wedding is a type of metaphor, if that makes sense. I also this this relates to the title of S1 E1 because of the death theme they both hold. The pilot episode references funerals, which was Reggies funeral in the first episode. Now, when you think of the end of the world, you often think of death. What happens when you die? You have a funeral. Because of this, I think Reginald is going to die in this episode, and it’s going to reveal some of his secrets which will lead to the final two episodes.

Six Bells: I feel like this episode is a part one to a two part thing with the final episode. In both S1 and S2, they had episode 9 start at the beginning(ish) of the day, and episode 10 finish the day - leaving us on a cliffhanger. I think this is going to be the same type of vibe with this season. Going off of the last episode (E8), I think Reggie is going to die and his secret is going the be revealed. What is that secret? Hotel Oblivion. I think the six bells are referencing the six Hargreeves siblings (UA) going to Hotel Oblivion, sorta how there’s those bells on the front counter that you ding when you need service. I think it’s a reference to them ‘checking in’ to Hotel Oblivion. Steve also said that the six bells is going to make sense more as we watch the season, so Hotel Oblivion could be referenced earlier on (Kugelblitz type beat?).

Oblivion: Obviously this is referencing Hotel Oblivion, which is what the third comic is about. If this is the case, I feel we’re going to see a major fight scene (bigger than the one at the end of S2), where the UA and the SA have to work together to fight all of the bed guys Reginald locked away (if you don’t know what hotel oblivion is, it’s a hotel that reginald made in space where he kicked all of the things the UA fought throughout their life time). I haven’t ras the third comic yet, but i’m pretty sure (from what i’ve heard) that the SA helps the UA fight something big, and if that’s the case, we’re going to see some teamwork in this episode. I also think this episode is going to end on a cliffhanger, cause we’re almost 100% sure there’s going to be a S4.

Anyways, this took forever to write lol. If you guys have any other ideas about what you think S3 is going to be about, lmk! I love to hear theories about this show!

[dathen]

~*~BEHOLDING MARTIN MANIFESTO TIME~*~

As promised!!

In TMA 167, Martin was more Beholding than ever before:

Seeking out information that will hurt himself:  Asking what his “domain” was.  This was impulsive, and he didn’t stop to realize that this could be information that could torment him until Jon double-checked to make sure.  

Seeking out information that could hurt others:  Asking Jon if he would have shared the information about the assistants being freed with his death.  I think this was just as impulsive as asking about the domain, and that he didn’t think about the nerve he could be hitting by digging deeper.

Reliving/being trapped in a statement once begun:  He “accessed the archive” in a way we’ve never seen before, and got sucked in and couldn’t stop listening just like Jon in TMA 147 or TMA 160.  It’s possible that this would happen to anyone in earshot, but Martin was able to interrupt Jon in TMA 163.

Has a yet-unnamed domain:  We know of two canon affiliations Martin has with the entities: the Lonely and the Beholding.  It could potentially be another, but the fact we didn’t get an answer leaves this open to Beholding.  Martin did leave the Lonely behind to choose Jon in TMA 159--to choose to See his love.  And what place had Martin chosen, but at Jon’s side?

(Speculation) Possibly filled in some blanks in Annabelle’s conversation:  There are a few theories for why Martin’s description of Annabelle’s call included things she didn’t say, ranging from innocent to horrific, Watsonian to Doylist, but my personal favorite is that he Knew some stuff.  It wouldn’t be the first time.

Frequently, I see Martin held up as the only assistant who didn’t have a Beholding nature.  Tim was searching for information about his brother!  Sasha charged recklessly into danger!  Melanie is pretty much a Jon clone with a youtube channel!  But Martin, where does Martin fit in?

Martin’s a tricky one because I don’t think he started as very aligned to the Eye, but he was conditioned towards it.  A requirement of using the Panopticon was to be aligned with the Eye, and without it an attempt would be “very messy indeed,” in Peter’s words.  But Martin didn’t begin reading statements under Peter’s leadership.  He began under Elias.

Which leads to....the Backup Archivist Theory.

Now, I call it a “theory,” but on my series relisten pre-s5, I realized that it’s pretty explicit in the text to the point that other characters reference it and talk about it openly.  But we didn’t pay too much attention at the time because we didn’t know why a backup archivist would be such an important thing--until TMA 160.

Jonah’s villainous monologue gives us all the context we need for why he would need a backup archivist.  Each time Jonah arranged another of Jon’s scars, e risked losing him altogether and having to start from scratch.  Early on, he barely lifted a finger to make sure Jon survived any attack:

I reasoned if you couldn’t survive a single encounter, you were unlikely to make it through all fourteen. So, when Jane Prentiss attacked, I watched eagerly, one hand on the gas release from the start. 

Jonah’s ambivalence about Jon’s survival leads to the idea that he could always just...start again.  He’d have to redo a few marks, but Jon as the Chosen One was just that--someone he chose.  If Jon failed, Jonah could just choose someone else.

After season 4, I theorized that Jonah had a main backup in mind that changed over the course of the series.  In S1-S2, my guess was Tim, the only other who came to the Institute pre-marked and the only other who was physically scarred in Prentiss’s attack.  But what happens when Tim gets defiant and unmanageable in season 3?  Elias starts putting a LOT of pressure on Martin.  Of the ten statements read by assistants during S3, seven were read by Martin.  The risk of Jon dying was highest at this point, so having someone ready to fall back on makes sense.  A brief timeline of this:

TMA 84 - Martin is the first assistant to read a statement in Jon’s absence.

TMA 86 - Tim refuses to record a statement.

TMA 95 - Martin breaks down after reading a statement, says he hates reading them.

TMA 98 - This is a big one!!      - Martin tells Tim that Elias refused to let him stop reading        statements.      - Tim refuses to help.      - Martin tells Melanie about the pressure Elias is putting on him to read statements, and asks if she could pitch in.      - Melanie offers to ask Elias to cut Martin some slack. 

TMA 104 - Martin takes a coherent statement (!!!!!) from Tim.

TMA 116 - THE BRILLIANT GAMBIT BELOW THAT I MUST ELABORATE ON:

Martin:  No, no!  I can help!  I’ve been reading the statements!

Elias:  Quite right.  Probably best he does stay behind.

Basira:  What, so you have a backup if Jon doesn’t make it?  

Elias:  I’m sure that won’t be necessary.

**WAVES HANDS WILDLY**  IT’S ALL RIGHT THERE!!!   

Remember what they’re trying to do in this scenario: trick Elias into insisting Martin remain behind.  First, you have Martin offering the bait--he’s been reading the statements!  Both his pretending to want to come along and his true goal of being allowed to stay behind assume the same thing: that reading the statements changes him, makes him useful.  Elias takes the bait and plays right into his hands; Martin being conditioned with the statements makes him more valuable to be kept in the Archive.  Why?  Basira point this out immediately, flat-out citing Elias keeping a backup Archivist.  He doesn’t deny it.  

Remember that this was, in Jonah’s words, the most delicate scar to arrange for Jon: the End.  Jonah knew there was a significant risk of Jon not coming back, but by agreeing to let Martin stay behind was giving himself a nice safety net.

....So what does any of this mean?

For one, I think it gives us context to how Martin behaves in season 5.  In season 4, he was locked away behind a door reading statement after statement after statement, playing Peter’s game to gather information about his true goals and the possible dangers to the world, letting the Beholding sink ever deeper.  Season 5 is the first time we’ve seen him interact with anyone but Peter.  Between being saturated in the Lonely for a year and playing the role of a secondary Archivist for even longer, Martin hasn’t come away unchanged on either front.  

Before TMA 167, we mainly saw the Beholding side show through a barrage of practical, mostly-reasonable questions: does Jon Know or know?  How do his powers work?  How does the world work?  How does traveling in it work?  What are the shape of things, their extent, their limits?  We saw that he gets antsy when information is denied or insufficient, such as his turning to Helen for more answers in TMA 166.  But this isn’t all-consuming; he slowed his questions in TMA 164 when Jon hinted that he wanted to wind down, and he distances himself from learning about the horrors around him instead of being drawn to them in fascination.  

When I was getting all excited about Backup Archivist Martin during my relisten, I wasn’t expecting it to have any further plot relevance, just that it was a nice way to explain Jonah’s oddities in how he singled Martin out in S3. 

But now that we’ve seen the Archive and the fledgling Archivist together....I am beginning to wonder if there’s more of this story left to be told.

[seijojoh]

What is this? | S. Tomura

Pairing: Shigaraki x Fem! Reader

Synopsis: Shigaraki realizes his personal feelings for you, finally. At first, he is terrified. Someone with his quirk isn’t possibly fit for love,,, right?

Warnings: a bit of angst here, a few curse words there!  A/N: Idea was taken from a friend off of discord, so enjoy the first post on this tumblr blog! Also, to give a bit of clarification, Shiggy’s quirk is still effective against the reader and highly dangerous! Caution is needed for both parties. 

Also I apologize of Tomura seems a bit ooc for this, I just kind of changed his personality a bit as I went because THIS IS HELLA SELF INDULGENT! <3

Enjoy! This was not proofread lolol

There are no manga spoilers, but there are a few S1-S2 spoilers if you have not watched the anime yet!

Shigaraki felt stupid. Dense, ignorant, absolutely mindless!

Why did it take him so long to realize how absolutely captivating you are? The way your smile seems to brush away the storm clouds that used to follow him everywhere he went. You were so gentle, so kind, so... good. Part of him was concerned why you followed him and the league. The potential you hold is incredibly high and he was happy he acknowledged it the first day you walked into the dingy bar. It was only a day after he kicked out Dabi and Toga for a much needed contemplation. Giran introduced you to him and the moment the overworked leader laid his beady red eyes on you, he knew you were worthy.

Granted, it did not show - at least he hoped not. Father was still on his face, blocking out his features from the crowd in front of him. He studied you carefully as you explained your reasoning for joining, and much to his surprise you were there for him and not Stain or his master. You claimed you had high hopes for the League of Villains and would follow him anywhere.

Although he did not audibly voice his thoughts, he simply nodded once and told Giran to show you out. You were confused of course, but assumed he did not want you there after all. Part of you panicked and worried that your request to join was denied, that was until he told you that he will be in contact.

That was seven months ago. Seven months of pure confusion and absolute torture. In that time, he was overwhelmed by his own injuries sustained from the USJ attack, the failed Nomu experiments and his master finally being taken into custody. While he worried and thought over the future of the league, you were always there to offer him help, whether it was a few words of advice, a lending ear, or a head pat (he swears he hates them, and does threaten to disintegrate your entire arm for touching it - yet, he cannot help but relax at the feel). 

Either way, he believed you were a plague in his mind that needed to be taken care of. By the time he sought out Kurogiri for guidance, the personal taxi for the LOV informed Tomura that he may have growing romantic feelings towards you. 

Shigaraki only scoffed and slammed his unfinished glass of scotch on the bar before getting up and storming out of the space. Pfft, what was he talking about? Shigaraki and feelings don’t mix. He was a firm believer that they clouded judgement and with that, he could not carefully plan out the future for his team. How the fuck can feelings help him plan out his plot to completely demolish hero society?! And another- wait, what are you doing? As he walked through the upper floor of the hide out, he saw you and a couple of the other LOV members sitting on the dingy couch. The same one that has been left abandoned and sitting here for years, but everyone swears it’s the most comfortable thing on the planet. Regardless, he noticed that you, Dabi, Toga, Spinner and Compress were all seated on the thing, staring at the TV placed on the credenza. 

You were wedged between Dabi and Spinner, Dabi’s arm was thrown over the back of the couch, his fingers gently thrumming over the old material absentmindedly. Although he was not physically touching you, Tomura could not help the twinge of.... anger that started to grow in the pit of his stomach. You looked so comfortable next to him, too. Your thighs were properly rubbing against each other (only due to Dabi’s incessant need to man spread and take up a bit of the space you silently needed), as well as your sides. It looked as if he was cuddling you and you did not seem to mind. Granted, he knows your particular love for physical affection but, out of all people? Dabi? Really?

Why was this asshole so close to you? I don’t like it. Should he dust his ass and be rid of him once and for all?!

Of course, you noticed his anger radiating off of his body in waves by the door. You turned your head in his direction and gave him a warm smile.

“Hey, we’re watching a few movies. Come join us!” You offered with the sweetest smile, back straightening in effort. The others caught onto their leader by the door, all of them sitting in quiet anticipation for what Shiggy might do. 

He felt awkward, anxious if you will. Never before did he have all of these eyes staring at him, waiting for a response no less. Damn you, look what you have done now! Now his heart is racing, a pink color spreading from his cheeks to the base of his neck. What the fuck is happening to him? And why the fuck isn’t Father on his face?

With a scoff, he mumbled a quick “no” before turning back around and heading to a space where he knew he could not get pissed off easily. 

Why does he feel this way? In his silent march back to his room, he kept replaying the beautiful smile that graced your lips. It made his heart flutter seeing it, reminding him of an innocent time that felt like it was lifetimes ago. Or the interest that sparked in your eyes as you noticed him for the first time. It was as if you were a small child, seeing a wonder for the first time. Every bit of attention you showed to this man did not go unmissed whatsoever.

In fact, he craved those little reactions, especially when he was feeling particularly overworked or just pissed off by everything something. Now he’s done it and practically shot down your innocent request just because he saw a burnt chicken sitting next to you as if you two were casual lovers. No, he should be the only one close to you like that. 

Your attention should be on him while you were comfortable at his side as he plays different rounds on his video games. Maybe you can sneak in a praise or two on how well he’s doing, or how cool his avatar looks, yanno? A movie could hardly do the trick in entertaining you in the ways he could. You only needed him....

And he only needed you.....

“Fuck,” he said once he shut the door to his room.

~

A few days after his silent revelation, Shigaraki has been characteristically quiet,,, but times 100. He hardly gets angry to the stupid shit Spinner spits out. Sometimes he’ll full out ignore the sly comments Dabi makes about upcoming missions. It was not like him and everyone knew it.

You seemed to have it worse. Every time you made a move to converse with him, he seemed to send you a hard glare that kept you away. Normally you can get past an occasional scowl or scoff sent in your direction, but the eyes he looked at you were filled with pure annoyance. It made you wonder if you are the cause of his anger. Did you say something unwarranted before? Was the progress made not sufficient enough for the singular leader? What?

The root of his anger was within himself, moreso his quirk. The strong effectiveness of destroying everything he touches pissed him off to no extent. Has he no control whatsoever? 

He was always careful, always keeping a pinkie finger or thumb raised on an object to keep it from being destroyed. Kurogiri suggested he purchased gloves with a few fingers cut out to allow him the ability to use his full hand, but that wasn’t enough for the man. He wanted, no needed, to use his full hand.

His private training started with little things: a napkin from the bar, a random door stopper found in the hallway, even a broken lamp found in the back alleyway of the hideout. He’d sit there and concentrate on his quirk, pleading with his own cells to turn off his quirk, even for a few seconds. By the time his digits would touch the objects, they’d all crumble mere moments later. To say he was irritated was an understatement. 

He’d concentrate on absolutely fuck all onto for his quirk to activate without much effort. Was he doomed to ruin everything he touched? Is this punishment for past crimes Tomura committed in another life? 

What’s the point of having a quirk that absolutely wrecks everything he touches? 

Staring at the small pile of ash on the floor (formerly known as an old bar-stool and an empty bottle of bleach), he knew this was your fate if these feelings persisted. Not being able to provide the physical contact he knew you’d love and he so desperately needed. 

Tomura never touched anyone that he liked. Hell, up until recently, he didn’t know he liked you. His touches often resulted in people getting erased and the cold sensations that would run through his spine whenever he did would leave him empty. He wanted things to be different, only because he knew you were different. 

You deserved something better, not.... this. 

Frustrated, Tomura grunted softly and picked up the empty plate he was getting ready to practice on next. With his pinkie raised, he gripped the ceramic item and threw it directly into the nearest wall. What he failed to notice was the chipped corner with sharp edges on the plate, and it effectively left a nasty cut in the space between his pinkie and ring finger.

Passing by, you heard the commotion coming from Shigaraki’s room. With a frown you knocked on the door. “Shigaraki? What’s going on in there?” There was a heavy amount of concern in your voice.

Shit.

He decided not to answer, hoping his silence coupled with his shitty attitude from the last few days would be enough to send you away. But, it didn’t.

“Hey, I’m coming in, okay?” You announced, barging into a space you knew you were not allowed in. He watched with wide eyes as you scanned the event in front of you. There was an unmissable pile of ash by his feet, a dent from which he tossed the plate as well as its shards scattered across the form. When her eyes landed on his form, she took notice of his his bleeding hand being cradled to his chest. “Here, allow me-”

“Go away, scram. I don’t need you here,” Shigaraki turned away stubbornly, walking stomping angrily to his desk in search for some form of napkin to soak up all the blood on his hand. He did not hear you walk up behind him, hand on his shoulder as a sign of your stubbornness.

“You’re bleeding,” you announced as if it was the most obvious thing on the planet. As you crossed around him, you reached forward to take his hand but he recoiled away. 

“What the fuck are you doing? Do you have a death wish?” He angrily snarled, taking a step back. With a huff, you pressed forward, still reaching for him.

“I’ll be fine. Just let me help,” your tone was soft and reassuring, which hardly helped in Tomura’s case. The hell were you thinking? If you carelessly grab him like that then surely you would crumble before him. Is breathing becoming too much of a hassle for you, or- 

Oh.

In the midst of Tomura’s silent panic, he felt the warmth of your hand cover his, your the backs of your hand gently rubbing over his in his attempt to curl his fingers. He was silently glad that he was wearing Father on his face, or you would see the insane blush washing over his cheeks; however he knew you could sense his complete and utter surprise. You were touching him... and it wasn’t a head pat.

No, this was an intimate skin to skin contact, your warmth contrasting his icy cold ones. On top of the warmth, he took note of how much softer your hands were against his rough textured ones, bringing him back to a time where he knew of what home felt like. A period in his life where he did not carry a heavy burden or the people around him look to him for all of the answers, no.

He just stared at you silent shock, his red eyes still blown wide.

“I’m okay, see. Nothing to worry about, okay?” Your voice was soft, lulling him to a much more calm state. “I’ll be careful with your fingers. I’ll just patch up the cut,” and there goes that damned smile. Whenever it was directed at him, he knew he lost the internal battle before it even began. It was just your effect on him.

He only nodded, tentatively watching the space where your hands were touching to commit this moment into memory and to make sure he did not accidentally touch you. With his green light, you were quick to jump to his aid, using whatever he had in his office to get the cut to stop bleeding and to patch it up with a band-aid.

“There we go,” you turned his hand over in your palm, fingers ghosting over the rough texture of them. He stared at you with an incredulous expression, ready to promptly kick you out but you beat him to it. “While I don’t have your quirk, I can understand it may seem like a bogus one to have. I don’t know what it’s like to constantly be on alert from something like that, but I have confidence that you will use it to lead us to greatness.”

There you go, saying cute and motivational shit again, boosting his ego and giving him words of affirmation. How the hell should he respond to that?

In his moments of silence, your smile did not falter once. You looked at him with so much adoration and care, Tomura could not help the rise in his heart race as you stared at him like that.

Without saying anything, Tomura lifted his non bruised hand (now wiped clean from the dripping blood from earlier), and used his knuckles to stroke the softness of your cheek. You did not flinch away once, instead leaning further into his touch, no matter how soft the action was. 

Even though he knew he could not touch you in the way he wanted, he found this small action of endearment to be just as effective. It burned away all of the negative emotions he has been harboring recently, leaving comfort in its wake. The sentiment surely pleased you seeing as though you were closer than before, your chest nearly pressed into his.

Maybe this physical affection thing can work out with him after all. ~