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happyk44 · 5 months ago

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Jason who immediately loses respect for people who don't own up to their mistakes vs Annabeth who would rather die than admit she made a mistake

#jason vs annabeth. autism vs npd lol #idk what the outcome is. i don't think they'd fight physically. but jason would get on her ass. and she'd be so fucking pissed abt it #she'd strategize different ways to put him in uncomfortable situations for whatever reason #and he's just vibing through them because he's been uncomfortable his entire life. pretending to be bacon for a monster is not new #anyway jason looking at his dad who's refusing to admit he made some dumb decisions and immediately going this guy is an idiot fuck him #happy talks pjo #npd!annabeth #jason grace #annabeth chase #oh oh annabeth needing everyone to like and trust her and jason's lost respect for her drives her up the fucking wall #she's the only one of the seven who could really be considered friends with all of them and jason's judgy eyes make her want to explode #she 100% rants herself to sleep about things he says. maybe that's where percy and jason's beef arised from #percy recognizing that annabeth is fustrated with jason because jason is blunt and doesn't really know to soften his words.#so now percy is fustrated with jason because annabeth is the source of his personhood right now. meanwhile jason is just vibing oblivious #no social awarenes whatsoever. anyway lol #but oooooo see leo's inferiority complex actually makes him fess up to errors in a way that judges him (jokingly but not really)#even if the error wasn't his fault. but it's his willingness to admit to his mistakes that makes jason really appreciate and trust him #so we have npd!annabeth who can't admit to being wrong because it would kill her ego #and then inferiority complex leo who does admit to being wrong because he hates himself #and when he fucks up he is quick to confess (often in a self-deprecating joke manner) so that no one can say anything that would hurt him #if he kills his ego before other people can even attempt it then he's safe from their judgement in some way #okaaaay bac to studying lol

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salemontrial · 8 months ago

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Why the FUCK didn't Sasha apologize to Quinni.

#no im so pissed about that.#dude you don't give an autistic person a meltdown that big over something that hurtful #and just #walk away scot free #last time someone gave me a meltdown that hardcore I cut them off for a month.#that might just be the bpd tho #but still #quinni doesn't seem like the type to just. be chill without an apology and hearing sasha explain herself #and then she makes her her vice??????????#she already acknowledged sasha is only in it for the power trip #sasha didn't even do anything in the investigation she just followed quinni around #which as she should #but she hasn't made up for how she treated quinni AT ALL #in fact she's just gotten MORE of a performative activist #like why the fuck was she such a bitch to missy abt spider #i get it yea. ur friends sometimes have dogshit taste in men but you don't need to make them feel like trash abt it #and the way she was like 'he fetishizes u for being black omg its probably asian girls next omg i dont feel safe'#THIS ISNT ABOUT YOU????????.#also she 100% jumpstarted quinnis identity crisis #with how she was constantly switching between infantilizing her and undermining her autonomy over her own decisions #and treating doing things quinni wanted to do and the specific way she needed to do them as a chore #and then victimizing herself!!!!!!!#like from experience that relationship dynamic IS abusive to autistic people it just is #idk if nt people get it but it's really fucking awful to come from your partner #anyway. until sasha apologizes to both quinni and missy this will continue to be a sasha hate page.#heartbreak high #heartbreak high season 2 #quinni gallagher jones #sasha so #missy beckett

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whyoneartheven · 25 days ago

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suddenly I have realized my bad habit of procrastinating has become a nearly debilitating fear

#Like #for ex I had an exam due today #I meant to study for it over the week #But every time I sat down to do so I just got really scared and stressed and felt like I wasn’t going to be able to study enough???#And so I couldn’t concentrate and did literally anything else instead and it ruined my entire week bc I was so worried #And anyways I ended up actually studying for the exam for only around 3 hours. TODAY. And took it and sent it in just before midnight.#Which is a very bad habit that I have #I’m pretty sure I did well tho #bc despite the fact I was so worried I wasn’t ready for it that I didn’t GET ready for it #I do actually know the material pretty well #And now I’m sitting here with the knowledge that if I’d sat and just studied even ONE other time this week #I could easily have gotten a 100 #And now I’m realizing that I may have anxiety #Which I knew before but like. Now I KNOW #And also a really bad case of I Need To Be Perfect Or The World Will End And Everyone Will Hate Me #also the adhd isn’t helping #So yeah #That’s something that happened #I tend to put things off bc “im not ready” for them in general now that I think abt it. Huh.#evie rambles #Evie rants #It has become a habit of mine to vent in the tumblr tags #Sorry folks #XD

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wormy-worm · 8 months ago

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ok u know what maybe if the world isn't ready for sunrazer post that means that the world IS ready for Amoveous siblings post. This is Milo and Enho and theyre my DARLINGS and i love them SO MUCH. i have. SOOOOOOOO many thoughts abt them but after the previous post massacre i do not really feel like typing all of that xoxo love <3

#THESE DRAWINGS HAVE BEEN SITTING IN MY DRAFTS FOR MONTHS LOL #meart #original character #robot oc #ily enho ily milo my darlings my angels my loves my funny robot guys.#ive posted abt Andromeda on here b4 if u remember her Enho is her best friend !!!!!#Enhos a battle robot who doesnt want 2 fight people..#hes the oldest sibling and theres a lot resting on their shoulders!#shes supposed to be this big metal protector but U.U she just wants to hide in his room.. and make music for the internet..#him and andy have this whole arc abt like. autonomy and identity and junk #being as andy is a government experiment who was raised to be a superhero who. has not yet realized that she HATES being a superhero lol #Enho inspires her!#milo um. does his own thing. he was the second amoveous bot and he is lucky to have been built without the responsibility of a battle bot #which means hes a LOT weaker. doesnt have a million weapons and lasers and such like enho does. no one expects much of him. he HATES IT!!!!#he wants to be POWERFUL! he wants to HURT PEOPLE!! he wants to be USEFUL!!! hes ANGRY ALL THE TIME #its EXSAUSTING.#yk that tinkerbell thing thats like. cuz shes so small she can only feel one emotion at once. and its so big it consumes her entirely?#hes that. he lives entirely in extremes. everything is 100% for him #he jumps to conclusions so quick and so violently.. hes incredibly impulsive and it gets him into a lot of trouble.#hes also a total NERD!!! GOOB!!! says mlady unironically. likes bad computer games. wears a stupid tie everyday. cartoonishly schemes 24/7 #enho for the record is also a pretty angry person. they just dont rlly express it. they dont express much of anything lol.#shes semiverbal on a talkative day. he can be REALLY REALLY PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE THO. THAT MF CAN BE SO PETTY. GOOFY ASS #but shes TERRIFIED she'll lose control of her emotions and her body and that shell hurt someone someday. absolutely terrified.#enho is as afraid of his strength as milo is of his weakness. theyre both two ends of the same extremes in a lot of ways.#polar opposites and yet exactly the same. they resent each other a lot. they need to learn to meet each other in the middle.#anyway ''i dont feel like typing all that'' and then i ramble in the tags for ten million years lol ToT I LOVE THESE GUYS #theyre my oldest ocs in this universe and i have so many thoughts if you have any questions feel free to ask me lol

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dutybcrne · 3 months ago

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Kaeya deffo loves possessive partners, send tweet-

#hc; kaeya #//P sure I wrote smth like this before; but can't find it kjdxngdgh #//But ye #//Genuinely gets weak-kneed for real possessive partners; be it the kind who scare off ppl getting a lil TOO close to him #//Or the kind to mark him up/give him gifts to wear to show he's theirs #//It's like crack cocaine to him jknfkfth #//He draws the line at ppl getting hurt on his account (if they didn't mean any harm/show actual interest in him)#//But he won't actually make any moves to stop any fights if he genuinely thinks it's called for otherwise #//Before getting together with his partner; he deffo has his moments of deliberately setting off their jealousy/possessiveness #//Juuust bc he loves to see it. But also bc he genuinely can't believed he's cared abt that much #//In a relationship; he deffo reins himself back a LOT #//Has no problems with their possessiveness carrying over into their relationship #//Again; as long as it doesn't border on irrational to the extent of his other loved ones/innocent ppl getting hurt; he's cool with it #//It's just that feeling of his partner being obsessed with him with ABSOLUTE certainty he's the only one in their eyes that gets him #//It's not soft and pure; so he doesn't balk at it as much as he would typical tender and sweet love #//It's deffo overwhelming and would scare him at first; but seeing how serious they are would make him cave SO fast #//In an ideal world; he gets a lover with that duality down PAT #//Person who is genuinely a sweetheart that treats him right; with a possessive streak a mile wide #//Kae's more than confident he can handle them if he needs to draw attention to them crossing any lines #//And would likewise trust them to back off when he needs them too #//Bc he would deffo have the intention to reward them for following through with either boundary scenario #//Oke; back to writings #//Another reason why he is so accepting/welcoming of possessive partners is bc he himself V possessive of his beloved #//But HELLA holds back #//Would 100% match energy/possessiveness the INSTANT he's aware of it #//Albeit with slightly different methods to go about showing it; he DOES have a reputation to maintain after all

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phagodyke · 1 month ago

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my dad just texted to tell me bbc4 are gonna be rereleasing a 1983 live recording of the smiths and to try not to be too alarmed or embarrassed by the "dad stage invasion" oh my god. okay I have to see this I hope he's not exaggerating

#I 100% believe he was there bc he was smiths mad but not sure if I believe hes actually in the footage. well only one way to find out.....#if he doesnt make out with morrissey whats even the point #I think its already on yt so might scour that... now im gonna be thinking abt this while im at work bc i cant watch it until im home grrr #he wouldve been 20 i think? ik I'll recognise him bc ive seen pics of him in his 20s and he looks so weirdly like me its surreal #ANYEAY i need to clock in im procrastinating in the work toilets lmao #.diaries

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pallases · 1 month ago

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english prof just left LOADS of feedback on my essay omg this is so exciting

#personal #the english chronicles #FINALLY!!!!!!!! someone who doesn’t just slap an a on it and call it a day #most of it is picking at me for passive voice use and my really shitty conclusion paragraph BAHAHA we were limited to 3 pages #and i was really struggling to cut it down bc. the prompt i chose involved 7 different concepts like give examples of these concepts in this #short story but i also had to Define and Explain the concepts and then there was also the intro and conclusion and header block and it’s #double spaced like 3 pages is rlly not enough for this prompt if you want to give a genuine critical analysis. so my conclusion was #extremely short and shallow lmfao but yeah. he also left lots of praise 😌 AND! he left audio recording for everyone?? like damn okay you are #a prof who genuinely wants to see his students improve thank you thank you thank you 🙏🏻 yes i only got a 90 which i think is the lowest ive #ever gotten on an essay but idc my respect for him just Shot up. also only four of us got A-range grades so i still feel p okay abt that #and i started the essay night of so all things considered this could have gone worse lol #also i got the top score on the exam last week so still riding that high (i needed the ego boost so bad guys 💀) but anyway. i think he’s #retiring after this semester tho this is so tragic he’s also just a rlly fun nice guy in class too like i would 100% take him again #but yeah. i will concede that i fall into passive voice a lot without realizing it so glad he said smth abt it i will be more mindful 🫡#also i guess i did a couple page citations incorrectly it has been a minute since i touched mla and i thought you could either segue into a #page citation like on so and so page they say this OR do parenthetical in-text citation at the end of a quote but he only wants the #parenthetical type ever. not sure if this is a flat rule of mla or just teacher preference i will b looking into this #edit okay looks like flat rule for mla. my bad 🙈 i only did the segue thing twice instead of the parenthetical citation thankfully

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la0hu · 2 months ago

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masha broke a bowl by accident in the kitchen and when i brought her the broom and dustpan and asked her if she was okay, she looked at me, straight-faced, and said, "no, i'm not okay." and then i realized she meant that she still feels emotionally abused by the house somehow, and i felt a flash of anger because i am so sick of her shit, and i rephrased, "are you physically injured?" and she gave me another look and said "i'm physically okay." and then when connie asked from her room "what's going on?" masha replied "nothing new." like fuck off ohhhhhhhh my god

#p #i'm actually sick of making room for people like this #it's not me being kind or understanding. it's me being a doormat and driving myself crazy for not making everyone happy 24/7 #would masha feel better if i continually approached her and invited her to things and forgave her every time she acted like this?#yeah she would. and i can imagine the emotional place she's in right now is a terrible one and i empathize #which is why i feel guilty for being too tired to do the above. but also? but ALSO???#in her head she will always be the victim. everything we do she will always interpret in bad faith; choose the most unkind interpretation #it's gabe all over again. they live in an alternate reality from me and from the rest of the house and it is impossible to reconcile the tw #and i get this feeling of anger and a part of me thinks of it as me 'letting myself be a bitch' but it's not actually that #it's literally self-respect. it's me being so burnt out that i don't have the energy to pretend this is somehow my problem #the whole meme of 'aren't you tired of being nice. don't you wanna go apeshit' that's about being inauthentic not abt being nice #sure authentic/inauthentic is a loaded therapy term now but it's just accurate. i should be able to NOT do things if i'm not moved to #i don't feel like talking to her. i don't feel like inviting her to things. i don't feel like giving an apology for an imaginary wrong #she can hate me for the rest of time. she can be miserable for the rest of the year while she stays here. i don't fucking care #she is making herself miserable. it is absolutely 100% on her. in any way that matters it is up to her to fix her own shit #i am so sick of this idea that somehow through the healing power of kindness and friendship everyone can be lifted up #because actually some people refuse to be helped. and it is so hard for me to reconcile this with my worldview #but it's been proven to me over and over again that this is the truth.#i guess it doesn't necessarily apply to material realities but i think it does for emotional ones #but even that division between the material and the social/emotional feels false to me. they're always related #maybe the actual lesson is that you as an individual and sometimes even as a community #have limited resources. and while the world's ills could theoretically be solved with infinite generosity and kindness #you cannot singlehandedly make that happen.#and also if the other party isn't receptive there's only so much you can do.#god i've written like a fucking essay trying to justify to myself why i'm angry at masha bc i want to be validated for it #even though i know by now that i actually don't need to explain myself to anyone -- even to myself

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zhuhongs · 11 months ago

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just found out the lead singer of taiwans biggest death metal band is also an active parliament member since like 2015.... and is still active as a death metal singer. he's a pretty standard taiwanese center left anti communist from what i could gather. which like as a leftist i dont really agree with but i also dont know enough abt taiwanese politics to like make a full judgement. though he seems to be a standard liberal nothing remarkable, radical, or new, not overtly horrible but just bland. but that was something i definitely did Not expect. apparently he's very pro indigenous rights and self determination for indigenous people but being in a centre left mega party like the DPP does not seem like the best way to achieve that. But yea, just thought I'd share

#chthinic collabed heavily with collage last year and ik natsuki (lead singer of collage) is very pro indigenous rights and posts abt it a #lot of instagram and i really appreciate the amount of political stuff on her platform. its all very progressive tho v much limited to tw #so idk. i kind of got the cibe of some groups that see taiwanese indigenous issues as seperate to the larger issue of colonialism and #indigenous rights all over the world to conflicts such as palestine. where some other groups have a lot more of the collective consciousnes #and idk. my view is limited and i didnt see that much but when i go back i def wanna look for more political groups in tw and learn about #the political landscape there for leftism. theres a lot of potential in tw imo #chthonic* natsuko**#edit: overall i think that like.. i get the spirit but i feel like for many taiwanese the identity of tw has been everyone united agaisnt #china which i can understand from the perspective of the indigenous ppl that had their land colonized by the japanese then had to share with #the fleeing kmt settlers. but like i dont think that its the best approach to say only china bad rather than big governments threatening to #take your land by force is bad. because idk my take on china and tw is that regardless of the historical claim or wtv. taiwans indigenous #people have been there long before the han ever stepped foot. and china isnt all good as seen in its treatment of the uyghers and tibetans #but is overall not nearly as bad as the west paints it to be. china is neither fully a communist paradise. and has many capitalist undertone #s influence the government ever since deng xiaoping came to power. personally i never fully agreed with mao. i think mao was a necessary #figure in the beginning and let power go to his head and i believe zhou enlai always shouldve been the founder of the PRC #fuck the kmt.. never liked the kmt and it seems as they are also slowly losing favor in tw also. and like... hmm #i need to do more reading tho. none of this is like 100% set in stone how i feel bc theres a lot i dont know

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marsbotz · 3 months ago

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i havent talked about in trousers in sooooo long Ohhhhhh in trousers…..

#kind of hard to talk abt by merit of it being a musical #so its the ultimate level of ‘posting lyrics nobody gaf abt’#but mannnnn its so good. marvinnnnnnn #falsettos reboot proshot and its gay little freak of an older sibling in trousers #shame i had to unfollow the tag cus 90% of post were stupid fandom indrama #like idgaf if someone wrote some gross fic. idont need to see 100 posts abt it just blockkkkk #but Aughhhhh… man. so good. soundtrack on youtube Btw #anddd i think a live recording of the 80s version is on there too which provides extra context #but i prefer the 79 version. Personally #I CANT BELIRVEEEE THEY CUT NAUSEA BEFORE THE GAME.#i think a couple of the songs they added r good but i cant rlly remember i only watched it . ONCE?#ok. maybe ill rewatch then

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cubedmango · 1 year ago

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thought id see some deep and thought-provoking discussions about the philosophical and moral questions posed in atsv but all im seeing is a whole bunch of "the whole spider society is evil and fucked up for trying to save the entire fabric of the multiverse even if they have to bear personal grief for it and miles is the only Good One" and man . expected too much from the 'spends 90% time and energy thirsting for scary big vampire guy' fandom huh

#sorry im just . kinda really mad abt takes im seeing (against my will but alas..... twt fyp and ao3 tag cursed as hell)#like ???? just not getting the nuance of the conflict in the movie at All . its not supposed to be one side wholly good one side wholly bad #taking ppl away from this movie for a second and sitting them in front of the trolley problem . baby steps so try to understand this first #NOT ABT MIGUELS METHODS BTW THEY WERE 100% FUCKED UP !!!! he went way too far thats not even up for debate #but more the mindset he was coming from which is still justified from his perspective like dude lost an entire World!! comprehend that !!!!#also ppl getting on gwens and peter bs and peni's cases abt 'betraying' miles like theyre doing smth insanely evil like bro..... enough #aauagghhgh psychic damage from bad takes is happening i need to stop reading these #ummnmnm . dunno if i should even post this idk maybe im the only one thinking too hard abt it #atsv spoilers #my post

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themyscirah · 7 months ago

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This is technically a Diana's age poll but I framed it partially around Julia's rescue because that's the event I need to contextualize and whether or not Diana is a thing yet is p important for my purposes. I would keep the Pérez run and postcrisis continuity in mind when answering this bc that's when this is relevant but I'd keep in mind that even though Diana is very young there (like early 20s) we don't know I don't think if she ages differently as a child (esp as a themysciran AND being made from clay) and in some versions she is older than she looks and was made earlier

Edit: I accidentally logic-ed this out in the tags lol 🤦‍♀️but feel free to still vote however you want. Going to publish this anyway bc I think I made some good points later in my tags

#blah #the 45 years is a guesstimation of julias age w her being in her late 40s #bc she has a middle school aged daughter which would make you lean a bit younger but shes also highly respected prof at harvard (is she the #dept head? i think so. and has a career that would suggest older. and shes also drawn middle aged so 🤷‍♀️#i would say late 40s early 50s for her honestly. but i moved it down a lil bit bc of vanessas age #wait shit i may have contradicted logic here bc wasnt the diana trevor stuff supposed to have happened before dianas birth. and that was #wwii. which would be btwn 42 and 45 years. BC PÉREZ!TREVOR IS OLD I FORGOT THAT #okay so actually there still could be a question of what happened first the timeline would just be much shorter #but then wouldnt julias family be boating during wwii? that makes no sense #im definitely thinkimg too hard about this probably. logically it would make the most sense if diana was like 20smth in reality. but thats #its own basket of worms honestly. like what do you mean hippolyta only had like 20 yrs w her daughter out of a lifespan of thousands of #years. what do you MEAN she became champion and ambassador so young like #like also thats the point though. she had to wear a mask in the challenge for a reason. her inexperience with men is what makes her the kind #of ambassador they need. and her youth and relation to hippolyta and role as the baby of the amazons is one of the things that makes her #ambassadorship SO important is bc she fulfills that role in an ancient sense. where it would be a sign of great trust and respect to send #someone close to the crown as an envoy bc it shows you mean business and arent going to reneg on whatever the deal is. bc if you do they #shoot the messenger #god anyways i very much answered my own question here in the tags like 100%. esp in regards to the pérez canon bc he very much laid this out #and i was trying to weasel my way out of it. only that didnt work and the decisions he made he made for a reason and they have huge #narrative importance. damn. okay then #i always write the shittiest posts and the best tags and then have to keep the post to keep the tags #i rlly need to make these tags posts ugh. anyways keeping this up bc of my tags abt diana and ambassadorship #also sidenote I LOVE HIPPOLYTA #just though id mention that. i love how much shes motivated by love and i also love when she makes fucked up decisions bc of that and has to #live with them. woman of all time FOR REALS #god this is making me want to reread historia again lol bc its the one ww comic i own. also its fire. and hippolyta gets to make shitty #decisions motivated by emotion and live w the consequences. and the comic is actually good unlike when that happened in the messner-loebs #run. which was the other instance of that ive read rlly. 10000% sure there are others but i havent fully gotten there yet.#i mean ive read other comics where she makes painful decisions thats like her whole deal but there are different vibes to those than the two #i mentioned. like the exile thing in ww year 1 or rlly anytime she has to send diana away

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agayconcept · 4 months ago

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#when im extra depressed i watch old yt compilations #this week is critical role moments #and ugh. Ugh #i always forget how mf touch-starved and affection-starved i am until i watch those 8 interact w each other #like. always touching. so much touching #i havent had a cuddly / touchy friend in like 6+ years and i am Suffering for it #like as much as w any other people im v touch-averse and dont want that at all #when it comes to friends i am extremely pro touch and genuinely love being affectionate #and i Can't #and sometimes that sucks ngl #no shade to my friends who aren't comf w that obviously #that's 100% gr8 and i would never push or wanna make them uncomf lots of ppl dont like that #i just. used to always have at least 1 friend who /was/ okay with it that i could be as cuddly as i wanted with #and now i dont and it ??? is getting to a point where it is almost painful #like str8 up i've had to talk to my therapist abt this the last 6 months bc its becoming a bit dire #hugs r wonderful dont get me wrong but thats the max amount of touch for my ok-with-touch friends #and the rest r no-touch #whereas im sitting here like 😭😭😭 PLS I JUST WANNA HOLD SOMEONE'S HAND #OR LEAN MY HEAD ON SOMEONE'S SHOULDER OR HAVE AN ARM AROUND A WAIST OR A HEAD IN A LAP #OR STR8 UP SNUGGLIN ON A COUCH #I DESPERATELY NEED IT #ANY OF IT IT DOESNT NEED TO BE ALL OF THAT #I FEEL LIKE I AM SHRIVELLING UP LIKE A SENTIENT RAISIN INSIDE #JUST HAVIN ALL THE LIFE SUCKED OUT OF ME THRU LACK OF TOUCH #I WANT SOMEONE TO RUFFLE MY HAIR OR PAT MY ARM OR KISS MY CHEEK #HELL I'LL TAKE A HAND ON MY BACK PURELY FOR THE PURPOSE OF STOPPING ME FROM WALKING INTO TRAFFIC #WHICH AT THIS POINT I AM TEMPTED TO DO DUE TO EMOTIONAL DISTRESS LMAO (DEVASTATED LAUGHTER)#aiyaiyai and i cant even just go and Make New Friends bc most spaces to do that arent accessible or safe for me #the only friends i've made in the last few years r thru Mutual Autism Vibes~ and they're all anti-touch #WHERE R THE OTHER TOUCH-STARVED CUDDLY AUTISTICS AT ??? WHERE R U ??? COME FIND ME PLS I BEG !!! i feel like im gonna die fr

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robotpussy · 2 years ago

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hm the diversity everybody seems to be ok with (all white cast and a token) is what forced diversity actually is, not when the best person for a lead role just so happens to not be white/mostly not white cast but we all know what people mean by "forced diversity" so I'm not gonna lament too much anymore

#i was looked for gifs of a specific short film only find some reactionary racist shit abt the little mermaid remake #like i did at one point start to think maybe they did cast halle so there would be more buzz but shes actually genuinely #the best for the role #i always knew she was!!! and if anything disney doesn't need diversity points to make money they will make it regardless #if you want to say something like 'ariel being black makes the story so much worse' then actually..... talk about it don't just say that #because you wish a white girl was playing ariel 😂 ofc its white people saying this so they could never actually #delve into it. like we can 100% talk abt how alot of the dynamics have changed in the live action movie because of the race #of characters but if you do not know what language to use or you're just using it to hide being racist idgaf abt what you have to say lmfao #im only say this because the person was convinced halle was cast as ariel because disney wants diverity points and not because #she was the best for the rolw #its never they were the best for the role when actor isnt white is it?

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phagodyke · 4 months ago

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not that this means anything to anyone but v4 (yellow) I'm rly proud of finally fucking getting at the gym today its taken me 3 visits over the last 3 weeks to nail it. woof......

#the start is NASTY i do it with one foot crammed in the top corner of the right semicircular one and wedge my hands as firmly as i can-#backwards against the top of the other dual tex on the left n push until i can reach the middle n bring my left foot up..#lemme tell u now. those starting holds are higher off the ground than u think 😵‍💫 theyre above hip height for me #dual tex is slippery hard plastic rather than the usual sandpapery texture of indoor holds btw. see the light reflecting off it? yeah.#fucking death trap for sweaty or chalky hands but in order to use the top of the volume later u 100% need chalk #so i have to start without it n chalk up halfway #also im relatively short (for a climber.. not short generally lol) so i cant reach the volume w both feet secure. was giving me hell 😭#cuz it means i have to put my whole weight on a CURVED DUALTEX SURFACE!!!!! theres not even rly any good spots to smear #so scary. and yeah the finish is a pain without crazy reach too i had to get a whole elbow on top of the black volume before i could #on my like 4th? try today i got one hand on the final hold and my friend watching said out loud wouldnt it be sooo annoying if u fell rn #and i slipped just as he fucking said that bc he put the idea in my head but luckily JUST caught myself w a smear. ASSHOLE (affectionate)#i need to get someone to film me doing it next week i wanna start recording stuff so i can see what i need to work on #n also remember things im proud of getting!!!!#this is my 3rd v4 at this one gym i think.. theyre a little softer abt grading tho i only have 1 v4 under my belt at the other one #some truly disgusting v3s today too. someone got a great pic of me grimacing on one bc i only got one hand to the top #ill fully send it next week my legs were just killing me by that point n theres some weird twists n pushes u have to do #but so close...argh!#anyway damn its wayyy past my bedtime and i have to be up for work in 6 hours 🙃 gonna shower and zonk out gooooodnight #.diaries

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lunar-fey · 5 months ago

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oh yeah not sure where we're at w money btw. we might be able to get some of it back but we wont know anything concrete until friday

#the fey speaks #which is why i haven't been reblogging the d0n0 post #like. i got $115 total and we Do need to buy groceries before friday and also some of it has already been spent on gas for getting to work #so what i'm saying is the support i got so far has already be immensely helpful #i am just not sure how much more help i will need or by when. or anything. until friday.#and i'd hate to keep askin only to end up not needing it ig. that said if anyone still wants to send me a few bucks while understanding tha #i won't say no. there are many things i need money for in this world rn. like a new belt. been thinking abt a cane. but idk how much it #would help so i haven't been able to justify the cost to myself #but like. there's probably better things you could be doing with your money rn.#also its been really hard for me to get info bc no one (my parents. whose bank acct it was.) wants to fucking talk about it #like. i live here too idk i think i should be allowed to know like what days bills are due and exactly how much they cost!#bc originally i was told (by my mom) that Literally All of our bills were due this past monday. and we would have #no power water or gas. but we still do. somehow. so idfk #and she won't talk to me abt it if i ask she just Stops Responding or walks away #and if i try to ask dad he just responds “i don't know” or starts crying. or like self loathing spiral #so basically. even if we get 100% of the original money back #its ALSO possible we will have a shit tone of late fees and overdraft fees to pay. no clue : )

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