#i only have two playlists one is just labelled ''music'' and the other is full of harsh noise and experimental and outsider music

[existentialvoidofexistence]

tagged by @lilolilyr

Shuffle the first 10 songs on your on-repeat playlist and list the first 10 songs that play

Hung By The Guts - YandereChainsawRegurgitationFactory

Servants - Zeal and Ardor

S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W - My Chemical Romance

Undone - Rotersand

Feathery Wings - Aurelio Voltaire

Wolves in the Walls - Annisokay

Pale - Aesthetic Perfection

Götterdämmerung - Zeal and Ardor

Hustle Bones - Death Grips

Sacrilegium III - Zeal and Ardor

As you can see I like Zeal and Ardor a normal amount. They did show up three times though so it feels fair to mention #11 (Pink Bubblegum - Scene Queen) and #12 (Nothing's gonna be alright - Murderdolls), since it absolutely wouldn't be representative without them making an appearance in some way.

Tagging @ratabethchase @the-furies @myceyelium <3

[swiss-mrs]

#WEIRD☆GIRL

(Word Count: 4.6k)

Rating: PG-13, Adult Language and Themes, All Characters are 18+

Reader/OC Description: Reader/OC is Afro-Latina. She has long, dyed black hair that is worn straight with baby bangs and shaved brows. She is an alt baddie and would've definitely ruled MySpace. Body shape/type is not detailed. No Use of Y/N.

Playlist

Synopsis: One day, while Dave and Todd are out, they pass by a park void of screaming kids. Instead, the park is taken up by a group of what looks to be a mix of teenagers and young adults. Passing by the loud group, the boys can't help but stare, mixing Dave up with a girl more socially unacceptable than him.

Warnings(?): Adult Language, Sexual Themes (No Smut, Just Horny Boy Thoughts), Catcalling (Potentially Triggering Language)

This is written in third person but mainly narrated from Dave's view.

》》》

"I can't believe they had it!" Todd exclaims, gripping the plastic bag in his hand tight. Dave nods, gripping his backpack straps.

"Yeah, we need to start coming here more often. They have everything. We gotta bring Marty with us when he gets back."

Today marked the first day of the boys' last Spring Break. Marty was out of town on a trip to Florida with his family, so this cut down the trio to a duo, Dave and Todd. The two were currently walking along a street on the other side of town than their usual hangout. Todd found a new comic and video game store, and he and Dave figured they'd check it out.

"I can't wait to read it."

"Remember, no spoilers until I pick up my edition too." Dave replied. As they round a corner to get to their bus stop, they are greeted with the sight of a large clearing between buildings.

On the closest side to the boys was a skate park. It had a decent amount of skaters occupying it, echoes of skateboards landing against concrete traveling throughout the park. As the boys walked passed, they could hear the sound of music. The further they walk, the closer the music gets.

The current song that was playing was what Dave imagined rugged bikers with dark sunglasses and handlebar mustaches listened to. Scary and intimidating. It was muddy and grungy and punk and metal? He wasn't well versed enough to really know how to label its genre. Just as one song came to an end, another just like it followed.

He and Todd were both staring at the group surrounding the picnic table that held the speaker. Each one was different from the next, but they all had a similar dark and grungy style.

Something that immediately caught his eye was a black haired girl who took two big steps to get atop the picnic table. As the new song began to pick up, she got into a matching character. As she winded her hips and lip sang to the lyrics, Dave was completely entranced by her. "Woah..."

"Yeah…" Todd absently replies.

Her unnaturally dark hair cascaded down her shoulders and around the curve of her breasts. Her bangs reminded Dave of a toddler who decided to experiment with scissors. They were far too short to be considered "normal", but, Jesus, did she pull them off well.

She had two bows on the sides of her head, one purple and the other an off-white cream color. She wore a black, short sleeve crop top with red writing on it, something Dave couldn't really read clearly from this distance. She had knitted, fingerless gloves on each hand that nearly blended in with her skin tone. Dave's eyes continued to work their way down her legs, finding her thighs covered with light pink, sheer lace shorts that stopped mid thigh. The only thing keeping her "appropriate" were homemade, cut-off jean short shorts.

Dave couldn't help himself; he was captivated. He's never seen anyone dressed like she was, at least not in real life. It was like she stepped right out of an anime. She was incredibly unique. How was she able to pull that off so well?

Dave's eyes wandered down further to get a full view of her exposed, dancing legs. He couldn't help but wonder what it felt like to touch them.

She swiveled her hips in circles as she began to spin and whip her hair to the beat. Dave had this opportunity to move his eyes up, getting a perfect view of her butt, his body lighting up as his heart raced.

She had made a full turn, stopping in the direction of the two boys, catching their stares. Todd immediately turns his head to try and seem captivated by the clouds above, but Dave is not as quick to notice.

"Dave." Todd mumbles, eyes dodging the girl's gaze, darting back and forth from his friend, the ground, and a very (not-so) interesting brick building behind the park. "Dave." Todd repeats, elbowing Dave in the side, finally snapping him out of his hypnosis.

"Ouch!" Dave yelps in surprise, turning to Todd who is looking at him wide eyed, trying to send him a message. Dave looks away from his friend and back to the table dancer. She was staring right at him with squinted eyes. They seem to make eye contact for a solid second before she abruptly lifts a hand to her forehead. She held up her pointer and pinky fingers. The 'rock and roll' symbol she held against her head imitated horns as scrunched her nose, sticking her tongue out like a child. The action shocked Dave, but he couldn't help but find her oddly adorable.

Todd is quick to snatch the handle at the top of Dave's backpack and drag him away to their bus stop at the end of the street. The ride home was a pretty quiet one after that.

》》》

Two weeks have passed since he'd first seen the strange girl. Every spare chance he got during spring break was spent taking advantage of his vigilante skills for the wrong reasons. He had secretly visited that park numerous times, watching his girl and her friend group from afar. He knew that stalking was not how he should've gone about this, but he also didn't see walking straight up to her and introducing himself as an option either.

Something was definitely wrong with him. There is no good reason for him to know where she lives, but he convinced himself it was just to ensure she got home safe. Tonight only enforced that thought.

Usually she would walk home with at least one friend for good measure, but for some unknown reason to Dave, she walked alone.

Today, she had on an extra baggy hoodie. One that he came to know as one of her favorites. It reached the tops of her bare thighs, the hem of her mini skirt just visible below. She wore leg warmers that matched the color of her hoodie and worn combat boots. She had a small backpack that looked like wings on her back, decked out in pins of all kinds. The oversized hood was perched on top of her head.

She was always good about checking her surroundings and looking over her shoulder when walking alone, but this wasn't a matter of a sneak attack.

Dave watched as an older man stepped out in front of his strange girl. Dave couldn't hear the exact dialog due to their distance and the passing people and cars, but he for sure knew that whatever was being said was not welcomed.

"No. Thank you. I'd rather be left alone." Dave heard that loud and clear, so why did this creepy guy not take the hint and leave?

The man abruptly reached for her arm, and gripped it tight. Dave took off in a sprint.

"Get your hands off me, asshole!"

"Don't be a fucking tease-"

"Hey!" Dave cut the guy off, running up behind her. "Didn't you hear what she said, creep? Let her go!" He said firmly. Both the creepy guy and the girl's eyes look over to Dave, both of them giving him a once over. Her eyes were full of confusion, one thinly drawn brow raised. The man scoffed at the kid.

"What the fuck is this?" he shoots back. Dave squares his shoulders and raises his masked chin. "How about you mind your fucking business, princess, before you get hurt." the man follows up, making fun of Dave's costume.

"Let. Her. Go." Dave repeats sternly. The guy laughs in his face.

"Or what, leotard?" Dave follows up by removing the batons from behind his back. He points one at the man.

"Or else I'll have to beat you until you let go?" He says confidently. The girl cringes, that was not nearly as intimidating as he thought it was. The guy laughs again, flicking out a pocket knife. The two men stood there in a stare down. Their pause gave the girl a chance to yank her arm from the man's grasp, simultaneously using her other hand to whip out a pink taser decorated like a mini Gameboy. She shoves the sparked end into the side of the creep's neck, causing him to twitch and spasm. She holds it there until the man falls to the ground twitching, presumably unconscious. She takes her booted foot and jumps into a hard kick to the man's side.

"Fuck you, dipass!" Dave stands there shocked. The girl's gaze switches to face him. He lifts his hands in surrender and slowly puts his batons back. The girl takes one big step closer to Dave. He jumps back, but she is quick to grab one of his hands and begin dragging him down the route of towards her apartment.

They walk a couple blocks and round a corner in silence before she stops abruptly and turns to Dave. He stands there staring, absolutely shell shocked. "Who are you and what do you think you're doing!?" She asks, putting two hands on her hips and resting her weight on one side.

"Uh-" Dave stutters. The girl raises her brows expectantly. "I, uh- I was trying to help you." The girl's brows draw together as she squints.

"Thank you, but, to be honest, you didn't really do much, and that only answered one of my questions."

"Uh, I'm, uh- The name's KickAss." The girl stares at him in disbelief for a good five seconds, searching his eyes for any sense of a joke.

When she doesn't find anything, she lets out a "pfft" and giggles. "You're joking, right?" She raises her brows with a grin.

"Uh, no. I'm not…" Dave's eyes look everywhere but at her.

"I-," giggle, "I'm sorry." Another giggle, " I don't mean to be rude, but KickAss?" Dave smiles nervously, instinctual reaching for the back of his head. "You really need a rebranding, my guy." She says, an amused smile still playing on her lips. Her eyes didn't hold any malice or judgement, just intrigue.

"Yeah, well, I'm obviously not that creative." He laughs nervously. Dave looks back to her, finally getting a proper look at her up close. She's smiling… at him. God, he was going to faint.

"Jesus, your eyes." She says suddenly, catching Dave off guard. "They're gorgeous, my god." She huffs a short laugh, staring into his eyes. Dave can't keep eye contact for long, completely flustered. He thanked the powers that be that he had a mask on at this very moment. He was sure he was as red as ever.

"Thank you." He looks down. "You, uh, your eyes are beautiful, too." He says sheepishly. She laughs, shaking her head.

"Oh, please. They're just a normal, old brown. Nothing compared to your stunners. Wow." She throws back at him. "Well, I appreciate you stepping in, KickAss." She thanks, putting emphasis on his 'name'.

"No problem. You seem to have it handled without me." His illusion of 'stalking for protection' ruined.

"Nonsense! Thankfully, I didn't need you to start a fight this time. The fact that you even stepped in at all when you saw something means a lot, so thank you." She clasps her hands in front of her, swaying side to side.

"Can I walk you the rest of the way?" He asks. She shakes her head.

"As sweet as that is, no, thank you. I don't quite know how I feel about masked men knowing where I live." She teases. "Plus, it's not much further. I'll be okay." She smiles at him, again. Dave can't decide if he wishes she'd stop looking at him or if he wishes she'd keep her gaze on him forever. She begins walking away, "Thanks, again! See you around!" She shouts behind her, turning another corner.

》》》

Two months have passed. Shortly after their first, up close, encounter, Dave made it a point to walk her home every chance he got, always when she was alone. Well, not every time. She started to get suspicious as to how he always knew when she was walking alone. "Are you following me?" She'd ask, Dave giving an unconvincing 'pfft' and a 'no', causing her to roll her eyes. After that, he made sure to space out their walks but still following her from a distance. It's now nearing the end of June, and his graduation date is only a couple weeks out.

This night was a first. She invited Dave in. His eyes widened in shock, "Yeah, sure!" He said a little too enthusiastically, internally cringing at himself, but his awkwardness only caused her to giggle.

She nods, "Okay. My brother is home, so you'll have to sneak in. I'll go in first. Just turn the corner," she points, "and use the fire escape ladder to get to the fourth window up. My window has a collection of ninja turtle action figures on the sill." Dave opens his mouth to say something, but she continues, "Wait there until I come in. I just have to let my brother know I'm home first, then I can disappear into my room." Dave sits his mouth and nods. "Okay, I'll see you up there!" She smiles, jogging into the building.

Dave watches her jog up the stairs until he can't see her anymore. He then makes his way around the building and, as instructed, climbs up the fire escape. He gets to her window with ease. Through the parted curtains, he could see into her dark room. The light in the hallway provided little to illuminate the room from the bottom of the closed door, but thanks to the setting sun, Dave could clearly see the four little trinkets on her windowsill. It made him smile. She was a little nerdy, too.

"Ok, I'll order the pizza!" Before Dave could analyze her room any further, she bursts through the door, tossing her bag on the floor. She turns, closing and locking the door before running up to the window. She throws the curtains open and slides up the window, smiling brightly at him. "Hola."

"Buenas Noches, señorita." Dave says, again cringing at his choice of words, getting a laugh out of her.

"Vamos." She says, stepping aside. He climbs through the window, trying his best to avoid disrupting the figures. "You up for pizza?" She asks once he's fully inside.

Dave nods, looking around at her room. "Yeah, sure."

She smiles up at him, gesturing to her room, "Bienvenido a mi casa." She says dramatically. "Make yourself at home, señor KickAss."

Dave chuckles at her, shaking his head. "Gracias." His accent is still strongly American, but four years of Spanish didn't make it the worst. He goes to sit on the plush bench at the end of her bed. He figured that was a safe bet. He wasn't on her bed, but he also wasn't awkwardly sitting at her desk in the corner of the room. It was a kind of middle ground. His eyes follow her as she goes over to her old school boombox, graffitied with stickers, and turns on some music, low enough for them to hear each other, but just loud enough to disguise their voices from any eavesdropping. "Do I need to worry about your brother?" He asks playfully, deep down a little nervous.

"No, he's playing video games with our cousins online. He can't hear a thing with his-"

"AHHH! NO MAMES WEY!" a scream can be heard, as if on queue, scaring the fuck out of Dave.

She rolls her eyes, continuing, "headphones on." She sits on her bed, crawling over to rest her bare legs on the empty cushion next to Dave. She grabs her laptop that was laying on the bed and opens it up. "What kind of pizza do you like?" She asks, typing away.

"Uh, whatever." He says, unsure.

"Well, guess we can't go wrong with half pepperoni and half cheese." She says, placing the order. "My brother is pretty boring when it comes to pizza." Another scream could be heard in the background, promoting another eyeroll. Dave chuckles a little, nodding.

He twiddles his thumbs before asking, "So, why did you invite me in?" The girl shrugs her shoulders, still typing and clicking away.

"I dunno. You've walked me home nearly everyday for the passed 2 months, and I've grown to trust you. Every time we part ways, I feel the urge to keep you around. I figured it was about time we hung out for more than just a few blocks." She closes her laptop hallway and sets it to the side. His heart flutters.

Dave looks at her stunned. "You want to hang out with me?" The girl squints at him.

"Um, yeeaaah. What kind of question is that?"

"I, uh- I mean- it's just- you know-..." He stutters. She giggles at him.

"What?"

"I mean, you're just so cool, and I'm, you know-"

She looks at him amused. "You're what? A cool vigilante guy who is sweet and funny and someone who should totally should give himself more credit." She bends her legs, nudging him softly with her knee. She scoots down the bed a little to sit closer to Dave, holding her knees to her chest. She uses her oversized sweatshirt to encompass her entire body. Dave looks at her with admiration, his heart racing again, before looking away from her and down at the bench below him. "I don't hear a 'Gracias' or a 'Tienes razón, mi hermosa. Eres muy inteligente y eres la mujer más bella del mundo. Gracias por todo, mi amor.'" She goes on.

Dave laughs, "Thank you. I don't know if you're right, but you are the most beautiful girl I've ever seen." Dave says boldly but still avoiding eye contact, looking down at his hands.

The girl's eyes widen, "You speak Spanish?" She looks horrified, embarrassed by the words of praise she tried to get him to say.

"A little." He twiddles his thumbs more, "I've been taking Spanish all throughout high school. I am no expert, but I can get around." He shrugs.

"Welp, that's embarrassing." the girl reaches up to tug hard on the strings of her hoodie, hiding her face in the fabric. Dave looks up and reaches for her hands.

"Que? No 'gracias'?" He teases, trying to get a look at her face. He has no clue what is coming over him, but he is becoming a bit more comfortable. His heart is still pounding, but seeing her get flustered brought his confidence up. She peers out from inside her hoodie. Her wide eyed look nearly floored him. He was forever grateful that he was already seated or else his knees would have buckled.

"Gracias,... señor KickAss." She says playfully, trying to make up for her embarrassment by joking off. He offers her a soft smile, melting her. It was now her turn to avoid his eyes. Her eyes make their way over to the stereo. "So… you're still in high school?" She asks, looking back to him, wearily.

He nods, "Y-Yeah, but not for long." He says quickly, the realization coming quick that they don't actually know each other's ages. "I graduate in like 2 weeks." Her nonexistent brows raise as she nods. "Are you?"

She shakes her head, "No, I tested out, got my diploma early. I couldn't be bothered with high school anymore." She shrugged. Dave's brows shot up. She really was smart. "It's just me and my brother. The earlier I got out of high school, the more time I had. It allowed me to help out with bills and whatever, get us a nicer place." She gestures to the room around her. "I mean, it may not seem like much, but trust me when I say it's a million times better than where we were." She then takes the time to look around and appreciate her surroundings.

Dave's look of admiration returns. "You're amazing." He blurts out. The girl's eyes find him, holding his eye contact, again with this wide eyed stare. She was gonna kill him. Her heart stopped when she looked in his eyes and found nothing but honesty and softness. She gives him a little smile. My god, Dave was literally going to pass out.

》》》

Dave didn't seem to notice, but hours went by with them talking, eating pizza, and talking some more. It was now pitch black outside, and the only light in the room was coming from her bedside lamps and a flickering candle.

By now, both of them had made their way into the bed. Dave was laying on his back, watching the ceiling while she was laying on her stomach perched up on her elbow, watching him. They were currently both comfortably silent, the soft music still playing in the background. She guessed that her brother must have fallen asleep at his console by now, considering there weren't any more frustrating cries or exciting cheers heard from across the apartment. Dave is the first to interrupt the silence between them. "Would it be a terrible idea to take my mask off right now?"

The girl gasps dramatically, placing a hand on her chest, "and reveal your secret identity, Zorro?" She lets out a short laugh, this causes Dave to let out a tired smile.

"I'm being serious." There's a pause.

"Well…" the girl starts, "you know, once you do so, there's no going back. I'm not so much of a bitch that I'd ever expose you, but you know… it's a big step."

"Is it in the right direction?" he asks, turning his head to look over at her. They stare deeply into each other's eyes.

She sighs, "I'm sorry, babe, but that's a decision you'll have to make on your own." The pet name catches Dave off guard. He nods and sits up, causing the girl next to him to follow suit, twisting her body so she's cross crossed and facing him. Dave takes a deep breath and reaches for the back of his mask. Just as his gloved hands meet the fabric, he felt a smaller hand touch his. "Are you sure?... Absolutely positive?"

He doesn't move, "Positive." He replies. She lefts go of his hand and he pulls the mask forward and off his head. He kept his head down for a second, taking in a deep breath. He could feel her eyes staring at the side of his head.

He looks up and turns to her. They make eye contact for a good 3 second before her sleeve covered hands come flying up to her face, covering her eyes. "Oh my god!"

"Oh my god, what?!" Dave panics.

"You're hot!" She exclaims. Wow, did she really know how to throw Dave off. He watches her, shocked. "This feels wrong, oh my god!" She says, muffled by her sleeves. "I should not be seeing this right now." Dave smiles a little. How does she do this? She's just too cute.

He reaches up for her hands, "Well, like you said, there's no going back, babe." He says, pulling her hands down. Her eyes were squeezed shut, scrunching up her face in what Dave thought was the most adorable way. "Oh, don't be a baby. Open your eyes." He says. She squeezes them even harder just before opening them up, like ripping off a bandaid.

She lets out a sigh as her eyes roam over every feature. She takes a moment to just admire his face before giggling when her eyes make their way to his hair. "What?" Dave asked, this time not panicked, but amused.

She giggles some more, smiling wide. "Your hair is a mess." She says finally, biting her smile.

He rolls his eyes, "Yeah, I don't really do face reveals, so I didn't bother thinking of a way to properly tie my hair up under the mask."

She smiles at him softly, her eyes relaxed. She reaches up to touch his cheek. It's warm and a little sweaty from being stuck under a mask for the last several hours. They get lost in each other's eyes. Dave's jaw was slack, lips parted slightly. Her features still held her soft smile.

"I think I love you." Dave says abruptly, taking her aback.

"What?-"

"I just always feel so safe and comfortable around you, and I love how you're so unapologetically yourself, and you are always so kind and beautiful, and I can't help but find myself always thinking about you, and I'm always wondering if you're thinking about me to, which I hope you do, because I wouldn't know what to do with myself if I wasn't on your mind the way you're on mine, and ever since I saw you dancing on that picnic table when Todd and I were walking to the bus stop and you made that weird adorable little devil horn face thing, I knew I just had to know you, like I was drawn to you, and-"

"Wait, that was you?"

Dave ignores get question and continues rambling, "and I know we're just kids, but I can't think of a better way to live life than with you, and I want us to be together. I want to go to see your favorite scary movies with you, even though it confuses me as to why you still go to them when you say they always scar you, and I want to hold your hand and be there for you when you're scared. I want to go see those bands you always talk about in concert with you. I want to learn every lyric to every one of your favorite songs just to impress you when they come on. I want to hold you at night when you've had a bad day and don't know what to do with yourself. I want to keep you safe and always make sure you're happy. I want to be the reason you smile. I want to walk with you forever, stay by your side. I want to fall asleep beside you every night and wake up to you every morning, and I want nothing more than to hear you say you love me and tell me you love me the same way I love you, and I-"

"Dave, shut up!" She says with a smile, her eyes glistening. "Breathe." They both take a deep breath together. "If you keep going, you'll turn blue." They share a small laugh. "Can I kiss you?" She asks.

Without responding, Dave dives forward and kisses her full force. They deepen the kiss, her other hand reaching up to caress his other cheek, his hands resting on the bed, one on each side of her knees.

Without breaking the kiss, Dave moves to readjust. He pulls her closer, moving her to sit in his lap. She follows his lead, getting up to straddle him. Dave wraps his arms around her waist, hugging her closer to him. She arches her back, "accidentally" grinding against him. Dave is first to break the kiss with a gasp, his hands immediately making their way to her hips. She opens her eyes to find Dave's squeezed shut with his eyebrows narrowed together. His blue eyes open to meet hers after a second, both of them breathing heavily, Dave's eyes wide and innocent, looking up at her.

"Sorry." He says, embarrassed that she was able to affect him so easily. She grins, shaking her head.

"Don't be sorry. It's good to know I have such an effect on you." She leans down to rest her forehead on his. She squishes his check together, pushing him down to the bed, his hands finding themselves caressing her now exposed butt from under the mini skirt she still wore. He felt all the blood drain from his head downward. "Should we keep going?" She asks. Dave nods furiously, no longer able to form words.

She leans in slowly to plant a soft kiss on his lips. "I love you, too."

》》》

Moodboard (exposing "y/n") on my page under #weird girl swiss fic

[solarwynd]

I disagree a little with the assessment that ARMYs would automatically become JK's fanbase if the group is no more. His retail album sales figures aren't all that ahead of Jimin. His entire album is in English, he had crazy promo, from July we got almost non stop stuff till December, he had huge names he collab'd with and yeah with all that he did the best among the members. But comparing effort with outcome, his results don't look that great to me. If army were as enamoured with his music as they were with BTS' old albums like BE or MOTS:7 or LY, I think he would've done way better. He's still got two songs on TTH if you think about it and his streams are good don't get me wrong but his songs are still on the largest playlist on Spotify you know? It tips the scales.

The reason a lot of pjms feel like JK is favoured is because, the fact of it is, that a lot of armys don't like Jimin in particular so when we compare the way they act for Jimin versus the way the act for JK, we can clearly see a difference. But if Tae or Yoongi, who are in my opinion the two other army favourites, had gotten the same push as JK, they would've gotten the same level of support.

Anyway, in pure numbers it won't make a difference whether his results are due to Hybe or due to army. My only point is that if Hybe keeps investing so much in JK, I'm sure he'll continue to do well but he's never gonna reach BTS' level. They continue to pump money to keep him on all the big playlists to maintain this illusion that he's got ARMYs full support but in my opinion, that's all it is. An illusion.

Also this ask is getting too long but I also just want to bring up Tae. The most followers on IG, most fancam views and prior to solo era he was considered by some, including many armys, as the secret weapon since he was considered the most popular. But that didn't get him anywhere with layover (compared to Jimin and JK) and that's because his standing as the most popular member was partly illusion. If you looked under the hood it was the paid followers and views (not by him) or vpn voting and sales or multiple accounts and all that only works up to a limit. I'm just saying JK's strength is also partly illusion, constructed by the label (rather than fans which it was for Tae)

TGK are definitely the middle ground for armys, I agree. But out of the 3 of them, jk was always gonna have the best chance of suceeding. Armys don’t care for golden but they really don’t like layover. They take to yoongi better than joon or hobi, but the majority of the fandom still doesn’t like to stream rap music. Jk having palatable pop music was always gonna work in his favor over the other two. That’s why bang and scooter picked him because he’s the most agreeable member across the board.

And yes jk’s success thus far is mostly an illusion. One that they had to forge because the needed to devalue jimin. But like you said, it really isn’t all that impressive when you consider the effort they put into him. You look at the 16 versions worth of albums billboard reported that they put out to boost his sales yet he was only able to sell around 46k more than jimin who had 5 (a mini album at that). Like it’s very obvious what that reads as. 🥴

That “secret weapon” tagline armys had for th was embarrassing and came back to bite them in the ass. But they’ve always put so much stock in the superficial regarding that man and little else. You’ll see his stans fight this one sided battle with pjms because they’re still deeply bothered that jm pulled off the debut they expected th to do. They’ll cling to his popularity for dear life since that’s their safeguard and you can’t help but laugh because their only solace is that he’s more liked than jimin is. But does that mean much when it’s purely due to looks and out of obligation to do so because he’s one half of a ship? Not really.

[tickety-boooo]

"Birthday Stars", a Good Omens fic

Rating: T, 2492 words, oneshot. Inspired by the glow-in-the-dark stars that are still clinging to my bedroom ceiling since childhood in a random pattern, as some have fallen away over the years. I bet the old putty has properly glued these remaining ones to the ceiling by now. (This is my first completed fanfic, like, ever! It just flowed out of my hands last night, so I hope you enjoy!)

“Good evening, Angel-” 

“Happy Birthday my dear!!”

Crowley opened the front door of his flat to find his love waiting earnestly for entry, his arms full of wrapped goodies, desserts, an unopened bottle of wine, and a balloon bobbing gently in the air above their heads, the string woven around Aziraphale’s fingers for safety. The only thing missing was someone standing off to the side with a confetti popper. Crowley’s eyes widened as he took in the display and a warm grin crept across his face. 

“Thank you, love. Please come in. Ah, here, let me take something.” He took the top couple of containers from the angel and turned towards his apartment’s small kitchen. “Y’can shove all that on the table there for now,” he pointed a thin pinky finger outward as his hands were also now full. 

“Yes of course! I’ve brought some hors d'oeuvres to snack on while dinner is cooking! And also some assorted desserts for later, little cakes and the like- Ooh as well as our favorite, delicious, Châteauneuf-du-Pape!” Aziraphale, after setting down his various items, held up the bottle under the low kitchen light to read the label, even though they both already knew when said wine was acquired. “1921, the finest!” They had shared a bottle or two in the past and thus it had become a part of their tradition, a welcomed guest at their special occasions. 

“Mm, wonderful decision~” Crowley hummed and pulled out a bottle opener from one of the kitchen drawers. He sidled up to the angel and wrapped his arms over Aziraphale’s shoulders, facing him. “You’re too sweet to me, you know that, Angel?” A humble smile sat on Crowley’s face as he admired his partner with loving eyes. He leaned in to plant a gentle kiss on Aziraphale’s cheek, who chortled lightly. “Oh, you’re worth being sweet to, dearest,” he sang, setting the bottle down on the counter beside them and holding Crowley close. Together they paused, savoring the moment in each other’s arms, warm and happy, each appreciating the other. 

Ding ding! Ding ding! A light alarm buzzed, pulling them out of the peace and alerting Crowley that the oven was preheated. “Ooh, time for the chicken!” He pulled away, but offered up the bottle opener to Aziraphale before placing a glass pan of food in the oven to cook. Aziraphale found two glasses in a cabinet and poured the wine, then went about setting up the charcuterie spread he had brought with him down in the sitting room. 

Crowley finished the dinner prep and grabbed both glasses of wine, holding one out to the angel when he re-entered the kitchen. Aziraphale paused and grabbed the balloon string and held it out to Crowley as a trade. “Swap you!” The balloon jolted down as Aziraphale pulled it, then floated back up in a squiggly motion. It read “Happy Birthday!” on one side and “You’re the best!” on the other. Together they clinked glasses and took a sip of the wine. 

“Mmm, perfect every time.” Crowley nodded in approval, and so did Aziraphale. 

_

For a while they sat and ate crackers and fruits and cheese spreads, and they talked about anything and everything, about how there’s a new bakery down the street from the bookshop, and how Crowley’s plants are doing well (the balloon currently tied around a vase on a side table), and how Aziraphale recently discovered what a “playlist” was (“All my favorite songs in a row! Simply wonderful!”).

“That would probably require you to update your…. personal computer system, Angel…” Crowley stated bluntly. That old thing. He didn’t see how the angel would upload his favorite music and burn a cd otherwise. Not that there was a player in the bookshop with which to listen to it, when Aziraphale was still in the age of the gramophone. 

“Yes but it works exactly the way I need it to for my financial records!” Aziraphale whined into his wine glass. “I very much don’t want to deal with all that again!” he huffed, air fogging up the inside of his glass momentarily. 

Crowley just snorted out a laugh. At least the Bentley played cassette tapes. 

_

They ate dinner. Chicken Marsala over linguine, cooked to perfection by the birthday demon. Knowing how much his angel loved culinary adventures, Crowley had worked over the years to improve his cooking skills. “Delicious, Crowley, my word!” The words navigated their way through a mouthful of food. Aziraphale gestured towards his plate with his fork. “Every time, you impress me even more. You should be a chef!” he said excitedly after swallowing.

“Oh Angel, I’m glad you’re enjoying it~” Crowley gave a big smile.  He was having a wonderful time watching his partner savor every bite he took, his face reactive to each flavor. “Actually it is quite good, isn’t it?” Crowley was proud of himself for this one. And he thought it paired well with the wine. 

After finishing their meal and tidying up the kitchen a bit, they sat down together on the sofa. They held hands, and Crowley nuzzled his head into the side of Aziraphale’s arm. They sat in silence for a moment. He could hear their separate, calm breathing. The angel occasionally rubbed a thumb against the demon’s hand gently. They rested like this until Aziraphale broke the silence. “So, birthday boy, would you like to open your gift?” He sat up and reached down next to his feet where he had hidden a wrapped present, which he handed to Crowley. (On the matter of birthdays, it becomes difficult to pinpoint when yours would be when you were created before time itself, or any idea of a calendar. The two of them had been alive for quite a few thousand years before they even considered celebrating a birthday for either of them. Aziraphale had once suggested they each pick a day they enjoyed for themselves to be their designated birthday. Why not? Humans will celebrate anything; celestial beings should be allowed to have a birthday party if they so wish!

Crowley never really picked a specific date, more so a time of year: early spring. He loved when nature suddenly stumbles awake from her long sleep and blooms overnight, green and colorful and fresh and beautiful. It made him feel hopeful, and peaceful too, like a new beginning. He made sure to celebrate as close to the spring equinox as he could every year since then.)

“A birthday present?” Crowley was surprised as he took the parcel in his hands. What could the angel have gotten him?

“Well I saw these in the window of a toy shop as I was walking about town one morning, and I rather thought you might enjoy them, so…” Aziraphale watched as Crowley ripped open the paper, revealing a package of glow-in-the-dark stars and planets. “Stars…” The old Starmaker gasped softly. Perhaps just a child’s toy, but this gift meant a lot to Crowley right now. It reminded him of his old job he loved, his artistic talent of designing nebulas and star systems, colors and shapes and elements mixing just right to form a beautiful sight. It reminded him of his very first meeting with Aziraphale so, so long ago, when they were two innocent angels yet unaware of what was in store for their lives. 

“Please. Please can we put these up now?” Crowley swiftly turned to look at Aziraphale. The angel read excitement, eagerness, and a hint of anxiety in the demon’s eyes, as he waited for his response.  “Y-yes of course we can! Where would you like to-“ Crowley was already off the sofa and helping Aziraphale up by the hand, leading him down the hallway to his bedroom. Crowley’s flat for a long time had had a cold atmosphere; he had decorations and furniture, sure, but it wasn’t as cozy as, say, Aziraphale’s bookshop. But ever since he and his angel began their latest stage in their friendship, Aziraphale has brought a sense of warmth into Crowley’s flat, with things like throw-pillows he found to compliment Crowley’s sofa, or a candle or two or three placed around the flat. A book forgotten for later lying on a side table. Hints of Aziraphale, tucked into the nooks and crannies. And now the stars, as well. 

Crowley dumped the package of stars and planets out on his bed. He sorted through them and picked a selection to stick to the ceiling. “Well, I can reach here if I do this…” he thought aloud before standing up on the bed and touching the ceiling with both hands, a goofy smile plastered on his face. 'He’s having fun, I’m so glad!' Aziraphale thought, and smiled back at his love. “Here, I’ll hand you bits of the putty to stick them on the ceiling.” 

They set about the task, Aziraphale spotting Crowley and handing him star after star with putty attached to the back, Crowley pressing them against the ceiling above the bed in what looked to be a random pattern from Aziraphale’s point of view. After a while, Crowley flopped down and bounced into a sitting position on the bed before standing on the floor once more. Together they hung the rest in various spots on the walls around his room. 

“If you leave your bedroom light on now for a while, they should be shining bright later when you go to sleep, dear.” 

“Let’s have dessert then, how about it?”

“Indeed!”

_

The rest of the evening was spent taste-testing the variety of desserts Aziraphale had brought with him. “So these are from that new bakery I was talking about earlier!” He gleefully pointed out and named every sweet, every cake and biscuit. Crowley let him lead the way, trying each one that Aziraphale put in front of him. Together they finished most of them, but sampled all of them, and they finished the wine. “Most splendid!” Aziraphale concluded, folding his napkin on the table, but he had missed a spot. “C’mere love, you’ve got some frosting, right here…” Crowley beckoned Aziraphale to lean over. His gentle hand snaked up to the angel’s face, wiping off a dab of cream with his finger. “Oh, thank you dear~” A cheeky look crossed Aziraphale’s face. He took Crowley’s wrist in his hand to hold his arm there, and he put the tip of Crowley’s finger between his lips and licked the frosting off with his tongue. Crowley simply blushed. 

“Ngk~… S’all right,” he managed to mumble. Aziraphale then slid his hand from Crowley’s wrist down to hold the demon’s hand and brought it to his lips, planting a slow, deliberate kiss on the top close to the knuckles. “Happy Birthday, love,” Aziraphale whispered, lips still close enough to caress Crowley’s skin. Crowley could feel the angel’s warm breath against his cold hand. 

He sat there, arm outstretched, red-faced, and heart-eyed, if that was possible. After a moment he remembered to speak. “Thank you very much for my gift, Aziraphale.” He looked him in the eyes. “You make every day special for me, but this evening was simply perfect.” He really meant it. Their arms lowered, but they still held hands at the table for a short while, sharing smiles and basking in the peaceful silence between them.

Crowley could feel fatigue setting in. It was late, and the wine had helped tire him out, along with the rich food they had consumed. It seemed Aziraphale felt the same, as he let go of Crowley’s hand and stretched, inhaling deeply before speaking. “I bet your stars are ready, if you’d like to look at them now?” he suggested. “Absolutely! Come with me, Angel.”

Back in the bedroom, Crowley gestured towards the bed. “Lie down, get comfortable,” he hummed. Aziraphale nodded and sat on the edge of the bed, pausing for a moment to untie and remove his shoes before putting his feet up. Meanwhile Crowley slinked around to the other side and snapped his fingers, shoes disappearing as he hopped onto the bed in one swift motion. The two of them fluffed a few pillows between them and lay back, eyes looking towards the ceiling. 

“Ready?” “Mhmm~!”

Crowley clapped twice and the room was dark. The clap echoed into the silence as they gasped audibly. The off-green-yellow color of the stars shone throughout the room, giving off enough light for the two of them to see each other decently well, actually. “Wow, those work fantastically! Ooh I hoped they would, I didn’t know what to expect from a toy shop,” Aziraphale said gleefully. He turned and could see a wide, excited smile from the demon, like a child in a candy store, eyes full of wonder. “I love it Angel, thank you!!” Crowley rolled over suddenly and kissed Aziraphale, his hands pulling him into an embrace. Aziraphale was surprised for a split second, but immediately relaxed into the kiss, his hand reaching up to cup Crowley’s jaw. They kissed each other again and again. It was warm and slow and sleepy and neither of them really wanted to stop.  Eventually they did, and were entangled in a comfortable cuddle, Crowley’s head lying on Aziraphale’s chest. He spoke softly, “Didj’you notice what I did with the stars, Angel?” He raised a lazy arm, pointing at one cluster of stars. Aziraphale hummed in question. “I placed them like a sky map!”  Aziraphale wasn’t as familiar with constellation placement as Crowley was, but he could recognize a few. “Oh, that’s Orion there, isn’t it?” His arm was now raised up and pointing to the ceiling like Crowley’s.

“Yes, and there’s Cygnus, Ursa Major, Ophiuchus, Cassiopeia…” he continued on, pointing around the room as he went. “There weren’t enough to do all the constellations, unfortunately… Oh but over here, this one’s my favorite, Centaurus.” “Alpha Centauri…” Aziraphale spoke thoughtfully. He spotted the two recognizable stars, stuck on the ceiling as close as they could get, almost overlapping. “When viewed from Earth they appear to be one single star.” Crowley groggily shared his knowledge and dropped his arm back down, Aziraphale’s following suit. “We should visit someday, it really is quite breathtaking up close, you know.”

“It’s a date, then, dear~” the angel nodded, and reached his free hand up to run his fingers slowly and repetitively through Crowley’s slightly disheveled hair. The motion was soothing to Crowley, and he hummed softly as it started to hypnotize him towards sleep. He yawned and closed his eyes.  “We shall have to get you another set of stars so that you may finish your sky map, alright?” Aziraphale spoke once again, but the demon didn’t respond; the pull of sleep had already taken him. Closing his eyes, Aziraphale smiled to himself, pleased to have chosen such an impactful gift for his partner. He slowly slipped into his own sleep as he thought about how much Crowley had enjoyed his birthday evening together with the angel. 

[fructidors]

@radioactivegeorg cassette tips!!!

ok so. generally it is very easy to record cassettes. i for one was surprised about how easy it was. it is however a little timely but worth it because cassettes are god's most beautiful children.

you will need a cassette player obviously. i have bad experiences with the small walkman-type guys but i think that might just have been mine. this is the one i use to record them & play them most of the time

got it from my dad and she is my favorite firstborn son who is 30 years older than me. yeah you heard it right this bitch was made in the SEVENTIES and she hasn't let me down once except when she ran out of batteries that one time. as long as yr cassette player has a record button it should be fine though

you also need:

cassettes! fun fact you don't actually need blank ones (although they are a little easier) you can record over regular ones! i don't personally have experience with this though so here is an article on it

your Device! so Hypothetically i think you MIGHT be able to record from a phone if you have either a headphone jack on your phone or a very functional headphone jack to lightning adapter. again i have not personally tried this so i would recommend Computer

your music! Another Fun Fact you don't have to have any music downloaded to record it onto a cassette! cassettes will literally record any audio coming from your Device so all you need is a playlist from your streaming service of choice, a youtube playlist, a playlist of files on some media player, something like that. you could record a whole episode of television if you want no one can stop you. i will explain how to arrange yr music further on.

a cable that goes between the cassette player and the Device! typically a male-to-male 3.5mm headphone jack cable (gayyy). this guy.

this is probably the only thing on the list that isn't like. immediately obvious-- i got mine at a local guitar store but they're very cheap online

and of course fun things to decorate the cassette with!!! the Most Important part. i use sharpie paint pens.

OKAY!! step one!! get yr music organized. yr tape is probably either 60 or 90 minutes long or maybe 110 or 100 or possibly some other strange number if you're using a prerecorded tape. either way you need to make two playlists each the length of one side of the tape. so if i'm making a mixtape i usually make one big 90 minute playlist and then divide it up into 45 minute playlists when i'm done. if you're doing an album you Might be able to get one on each side (again depending on what length yr tape is). since the playlists generally end up a minute or so under the exact length my very favorite thing in the entire world to do is add a random song and let it play out in part at the end and not write it down on the tracklist. music dessert.

step two!! get those guys connected. my tape player has this hole labeled MIC

but yrs might not. so just plug one end of the cable into whatever hole looks like an audio input or headphone jack and hope it works. i am the farthest from an expert here. & then plug the other end into yr Device's headphone jack! congratulations you are now practicing Mad Science & yr devices are having transgenerational gay sex. (at least that is what it feels like)

step three!! play that audio!!! so this is the part where trial & error is key. because if you record your music on full volume it will sound Bad. i typically turn the volume on whatever platform my playlist is on way down. like.

but you don't want it Too Quiet or else you'll have to turn your player's volume so far up that the tape hiss will start to overpower the music. it's a balancing act. which is why you should...

step three point five make a test patch!! what i usually do is play the first ten seconds of the first song, ten seconds from the middle of that song, and ten seconds from one or two more songs on the playlist, just to get the full range of volumes & frequencies & whatnot. then rewind and listen to it back and figure out if it should be louder or quieter. this might not be super obvious right away (my first cassette Sucked) but it gets pretty easy to tell eventually.

step four record that bitch!!!! don't press play on your music the Second you press record because there's a bit of plastic at the beginning of the tape that can't be recorded onto so you'll lose the first few seconds of your music. this is also why you shouldn't have a playlist that's Exactly the length of a side but rather a little shorter or a little longer w/ a song you're cool with getting cut off. and then. you wait. my absolute least favorite bit. recording is basically the same as playing (in that the entire tape gets run through the player, at the same speed) except you can't listen to any music. you should also probably refrain from using the Device while recording to avoid any other sounds playing because like i said the tape isn't recording your music specifically, it's recording all the audio from the Device. i have So Many tapes with text tones interrupting the music :( generally i like to record tapes when i'm out or doing something off my computer or on occasion sleeping. once the whole side has been recorded there's a click (like when the whole side has been played) and you turn the cassette over, go to your second playlist, and do the whole thing over again!!

step five best step the reason we do it all DECORATE!!!! coolest thing about cassettes is you can decorate literally the whole thing. all the case all the card all the cassette itself!! anything that works on plastic should work. here are my children:

& yeah that's it!!! sorry this got so long & over-explain-y i just. love talking about cassettes. number one activity. lmk if you have any other questions!!

[winwild]

you’re not from around here, are you? i figured because you totally just missed winslow wilder walking by. don’t tell me you don’t know who he is ? they kind of look like andy samberg and i could be wrong but i think that they might be 45 years old right now. they’ve been living in palmview for the last year. and i don’t know if anyone has ever told them this before but they kind of remind me of jesse swanson from pitch perfect.

STATS.

full name.  winslow pincus wilder. he’s stockpiled mountains of jewelry to thank his mother for spurning a hyphenated surname.

nicknames.  answers to mr. wilder first and foremost, but accepts winn or winnie with brutal bruxism.

label.  the filmophile.

date of birth.  22 june. celebrates billy wilder’s conception more consistently, though.

place of birth.  mer rouge, louisiana. his mouth frequently confuses this with moulin rouge.

current residence.  mango bay, palmview grove, florida. a chronic couch crasher nonetheless.

languages.  fluent in english and asl. speaks high school level spanish with a middle schooler’s accent.

education.  got a b.a. in music composition. between his bank account and acclaimed career in cooking burgers, he thinks it should've been a b.s.

occupation.  music teacher at seaglass heights elementary school.

gender. cisgender male. he/him.

orientation.  bisexual in a ‘crushed on both shirley maclaine and jack lemmon in the apartment’ way.

marital status.  single. not quite ready to mingle.

family.  very loving mother and father. less loving older sister and younger brother. a couple of nieces and nephews who call him the cool uncle.

pets.  a prelapsarian rose-ringed parakeet named reginald. maybe a mouse colony or two behind the microwave.

PERSONALITY.

the brief.  winslow thinks of life as a movie. one with labyrinthine twists and turns, highs and lows and hopeless romance, and an audience somewhere just out of sight that ought to enjoy themselves. he’s cast himself as the heroic comic relief (or is it comic stress?) and wants to help people find their happy endings, even though he’s just about abandoned finding one for himself. whether that’s because he thinks it’s the stand-up thing to do or because he believes karma’s watching, you best believe he’s bringing a pumped playlist along.

the good.  winslow is outgoing to the point where his parents have advised him to pack his bags and make someone else pay the rent. his easygoing empathy and ability to laugh at anything (even… no, especially himself) have allowed him to amass quite the number of acquaintances. the natural blitheness that plagues his monologues may suggest otherwise, but he’s loyal and dependable enough to have had his room dubbed the kennel by siblings, cousins, and actual stray animals. only a select few can surpass the confidence he’s been saving since college, and most of them turned out to be presidents in the making. according to the wilder diaries volumes 23 through 47, no job is too small and no joke is too corny for him to not give his all. then there’s usually a doodle of a ginormous smiley face that bleeds over to the next page. look, there’s a reason he didn’t become an english teacher.

the bad.  winslow forgives and forgets before he can remember what he’s forgiving in the first place. idealism is the only idea he has of how to interact with people, and it’s a herculean task to get him to acknowledge something can’t be solved with a sliver of time and an acoustic rendition of a progressive rock song. he’s passionate to a fault, and his dogged pursuit of whatever or whoever piques his interest can end in disappointment on both parties’ end as he overpromises and underdelivers due to the sheer length of his to-do list.

the ugly.  winslow’s sense of worth is, was, and perhaps always will be dependent on what others say and do. without the promise of applause or a sordid afterparty he struggles to find purpose in being himself, his boundaries weak and expectations silent while his vocal cords soar into sardonic condescension. he’s the first to believe he’s got some growing up to do before he becomes one of those floridian retirees floating by in life with peace and a pina colada, but whether he’s ready to work on that is a whole different ball game. and he sucked at ball games. why else would he join an a cappella group at the ripe old age of eighteen?

APPEARANCE.

height.  5’8. he could’ve taught at mango bay high, but the prospect of telling off teenagers taller than him was terrifying, even for a guy who knew the room’s script by heart.

build.  generously described by his crossfit coach as lean. hits the vending machine more than the gym, though.

style.  his contacts list may very well be a tourist’s guide to nearby thrift shop owners. patterned comfort takes precedence above such trivial things as social appropriateness–his closet is a menagerie of flannel, florals, graphic tees, and hoodies; his shoe rack is a museum of besmirched sneakers and bedecked crocs.

notable features. floppy brown hair married to bedhead. a cleft chin bereft of any substantial facial hair. a crooked smile that smells of bubblegum toothpaste.

BIOGRAPHY. content warning for a brief mention of unplanned pregnancy and a longer mention of medical issues. skip the not-so-young adulthood sections if you’re uncomfortable with this.

childhood.  it takes a darn difficult couple of months, but eventually, winslow pincus wilder is born to be weaned on diet coke and family comedies in the most anodyne suburb america has to offer. of course, his parents work at the office and his sister works at dismantling the patriarchy one pierced ear at a time. he has to make his own fun with whomever he finds interesting, and by the time his brother’s born, he’s befriended half the neighbourhood with his taste in music, movies, or lawnmowers. school passes by like a breeze–not because he’s smart, mind you, but because he’s bored to death and c grades are, y’know, passing–and he’s happy with his dinners and chores and everything else about real life that’s a bore, because he’s got movies.

adolescence.  winslow is a social vagabond, drifting from pack to pack lunch to lunch. people come to his bar mitzvah, yeah, and people don’t point out how his action figures are poking his jaws poster in a very strange place, but his sister’s destroying her professors’ egos at some ivy league and his brother’s destroying books or baseball bats or whatever while he’s still drawing stop-motion ninjas in the corner of his notebooks. for the first and last time in his life, he feels awkward, resorting to such desperate projects as a garage band, a lemonade stand, and a detective agency. when he watches the breakfast club at seventeen, he sees himself in the screen more than ever before. he feels himself in the fugues of electric guitar and a god-given falsetto. he knows he has a future in music, even if he did mistake first runner up at the talent show for first and got his garage band booed off the stage.

young adulthood.  winslow is the one being watched, for once. eyes bore into his back when his parents nearly squeeze his spine out of his body, wondering why he had to move more than a mile away to study music. a smug senior with the most insufferably dulcet voice looks at him with a cocky, ever-cocked brow when he signs up for the campus radio internship. but there’s also an an absurdly intense cappella group and a schedule that leaves him way too much time to lounge around and a roommate that leaves him way too little space for any personal effects (not that he’s complaining!) and a girl. it’s something out of a movie. then he graduates, they break up but remain on great terms, and he moves many miles away to try and use his degree for something deserving of the blockbuster billboard top thousand. keyword being try.

not-so-young adulthood.  winslow is happy in his big city bachelor’s pad, working a greasy spoon’s greasier counter and calling in sick every now and then to perform at open mics. he’s not quite as appreciated as he was in his a cappella days, but at least he’s not getting booed off. one night, though, his bemoaning to the big boss about another cold is cut off by a call from his ex. she’s got a kid and she thought her boyfriend was kidding when he said he’d leave by the end of the football season. the morning after, winslow’s at her door and doesn’t intend on leaving. he finds work he loves at the local school training the next generation to play hot cross buns and finds that being a father is just as, if not more fulfilling, than being a friend. but pride cometh before a fall.

not-so-young adulthood: act two.  a literal fall, in fact, as his dad is hospitalised for a heart attack and his mom’s never got half the same mind after. he’s not making enough to cover the bill and his siblings barely ever call back, so he’s left scrambling for money. asking for help from the woman whose baby he’s helping raise? what are you, the court jester? no, help comes in the form of the child’s father, calloused knuckles and jingling pockets approaching. the deal’s simple: let the kid have their real dad and wake up to a fat wad of cash under his pillow, no broken teeth needed. winslow agrees. it’s not like the kid’s even old enough to remember him, and his ex will understand if he moves to be closer to his parents as their conditions worsen. he leaves no trace of him in the house but a really stupid mixtape of rapped lullabies with his address scribbled on and moves to mango bay.

now.  winslow is an infinite amount of people stuffed in a plaid shirt, sutured with a smile. he’s the newcomer to one cantankerous convenience store clerk who needs to deal with his bulk purchase of popsicles, artificially coloured tongue still stumbling over street names. he’s a human map to a young couple who need the perfect picture on the beach to make their shared ex jealous, hands deftly working their camera with a director’s eye for detail. more than anything, he’s a man looking to score movies and share stories. even if they’re super, duper embarrassing for all parties involved.

MISCELLANEOUS.

radio.  john williams. simple minds. charlies williams. kansas. ralph vaughan williams. are you sensing a theme yet?

recommended reading.  wonder boys by michael chabon. a wrinkle in time by madeleine l'engle. out on a limb by shirley maclaine. the fan by bob randall. big fish: a novel of mythic proportions by daniel wallace. 

potential relationships.  a fellow film bro (gender neutral). a fan of his a cappella work. a former coworker at burger flipping inc. a former bandmate because you know this man’s done some weird gigs for a good buck. a fling from high school. a fling who saw his suitcase covered in movie memorabilia as he stood outside his shiny new palmview apartment because he lost the key he was literally just given and went yeah i’d hit that. a friend of his sibling’s, who’s heard or seen more male-led horror stories than present in a stephen king’s bibliography. a friend of his kid’s but god would that require plotting lmao.

assorted headcanons.  has a better dvd collection than any blockbuster; the plastic on all of them’s worn out more than the fabric of his singular suit. way too good at dodgeball and trampoline tricks. always chooses never gonna give you up as his last karaoke song. instinctively harmonises with the radio, which must be turned on 24/7 lest he die of ennui. learned to play the piano at age twelve to impress a crush who never inhaled in his general direction. a prodigious malingerer; fakes a classic dad sneeze to cover up his real sneeze, which should, for all intents and purpose, belong to a coloratura soprano. has invested in at least one pyramid scheme.

[hvrtroads]

❀ *◦ kim wonpil. cis man. he/him. homosexual homoromantic. ⇝ hey, isn’t that boo jonghyeon? i think that the twenty-eight year old from daejeon, south korea works as a vocalist and pianist for the rock band nexu5 and an actor at the single carrot theatre, but outside of that people describe them as coffee stained papers strewn across the room, composing into the early hours of the morning, the scents of lavender and vanilla, the spring breeze wafting through the window on an early morning, melancholic ballads, warm as the sun and burning bright as one. i hear they are credulous & taciturn, but they are also known to be forbearing & altruistic. consider giving them a visit at their home in delilah's den gated community and get to know why they’re called the virtuoso. stats / pinterest / playlist / profile

disclaimer: all of the gifs found on this blog are mine, made from scratch. please do not save, repost, use or claim as your own.

BASICS

full name: boo jonghyeon

age: 28 years old

date of birth: october 31, 1996

hometown: daejeon, south korea

gender: cis man

pronouns: he/him

sexuality: homosexual

occupation: vocalist and pianist of the rock band nexu5, actor for the single carrot theatre

spoken languages: korean, english, mandarin

parents: xiang ru shi (stepmom)

siblings: boo sil-op, one younger brother, two stepsisters

BACKGROUND

TW: abuse, amputation, car accident, implied ableism, neglect, severe injury

born into wealth, boo jonghyeon was fed with a silver spoon. both parents renowned in the world of the arts, it was only natural for the same path to be carved for himself, just as it had been for his older sibling, boo sol-ip. while they pursued acting, music was more jonghyeon's speed, later discovering that he had a natural aptitude for singing and playing the piano.

with the parents being the way they were, they did make him take on more than he could handle, while neglecting to pay any attention to the symptoms of autism he'd been exhibiting for a prolonged period. despite being spoken to by the nanny and teachers alike, they didn't give it much thought.

the meltdowns just meant bad behaviour to them, and it wouldn't reach the climax until he was in the first grade when the parents had taken their second child prodigy out to a gathering with other sensations and their own gifted children. the whole thing was extreme sensory overload for the six year old, and his ignored pleas led to boiling over under the scrutinizing eyes of moneybags; a scene of hysterics and lashing out.

shortly after his diagnosis, his mother left the picture. time moved forward, and so did his musical prowess. the piano came to be the thing that he loved the most, proceeding in lessons for many consecutive years, going on to win various awards and medals in regional competitions.

his father, who changed his methods and behaviour after the long overdue realization hit him, eventually remarried; the family grew larger. now he had two sisters, and three cousins from hong kong that came to visit often. at fourteen, nikolai moved into the household.

two years later, he took a leap of faith and went to auditions that one of the entertainment labels were having, passing with flying colours. however, his utter lack of coordination and hopeless attempts at learning dance, the label, instead of sacking him, wanted him for his vocals and were impressed by his piano skills. hence, the creation of their first rock band.

NEXU5 was born, the five boys quickly taking to each other (especially since they'd known each other being trainees together) and just a few months after being formed, they debuted with a billboard topping hit. standing out with their different concept, they came to be known as the pioneers who popularized bands in the k-pop industry, growing a large and loyal fanbase.

years later, just days after his twenty-second birthday, he was involved in a severe car accident that he was lucky to have survived. his left leg had to be amputated at the scene, and he had to have multiple surgeries for other major injuries. sustaining a brain injury that gave him post-traumatic amnesia, the following months were extremely arduous as the healing process began.

it didn't help whatsoever that he was in an abusive relationship at the time, having been involved with him for three years prior to the accident. it was thanks to his bandmates that he was finally able to get out of it; they assisted with getting him a restraining order and relocated to jeju island from seoul.

the band came back from their long term hiatus only once he was ready, but it came with many challenges, both mental and physical. the prosthesis took time to get used to, and there were periods where his other leg locked up or grew weak, resulting in collapses, along with episodes of syncope and phantom pain; navigating everything became more difficult, but he manages it the best he can, with the support of his loved ones.

HEADCANONS

he has a few little critters for emotional support; a hedgehog, two frogs, two gerbils, two guinea pigs, a rabbit and a praying mantis.

re: the single carrot theatre, he aspires to be a playwright one day. he has scored a few roles in dramas, and is hoping that acting continues to bring him out of his shell.

he doesn't really do well in social situations,, like at all. he's the type of person to just be there and let everyone else do the talking; he straight up doesn't talk unless he's with someone he knows. interviews are his worst nightmares, it's rare that he says more than one sentence in them that isn't to his bandmates, who often speak for him.

very softspoken. if you ask him to speak up he simply will not.

ultimate maknae. has always gotten babied on by his bandmates and family.

despite not talking much when he isn't in the comfort of friends, his personality shines when he does; (fnaf phone guy vc: the animatronics do get a bit quirky at night) he's just a silly little guy. a creacher if u will. he will go on about the weirdest shit and act like nothing happened. epitome of "he quiet unless he know u fr" tiktok sound.

outside of music, jonghyeon is very interested in plants. his living space is always full of various plants, and he tends to them lovingly, even giving pups to his friends.

he is extremely sensitive and very crying in the chili's core.

sarcasm isn't something he's able to detect, having difficulty with idioms and other figures of speech. he takes everything very literally.

pls come luv him he is. softest bean

[randomvarious]

Today’s compilation:

The Best of the Sound of Sunshine 1991 Disco / Disco-Funk / Funk / Soul

Today I took a look at T.K. Records, an independent label from Miami that played a foundational role in helping to grow and spread disco music worldwide while the genre was still in its mid-70s infancy and then continued on as a Billboard Dance chart staple until its untimely demise in 1981. Had it not been for T.K., it's actually entirely possible that the disco era as we know it may have never even occurred 😮.

And it all starts with this album's opener, the blissfully dreamy and unexpected #1 single that's now managed to sell over *11 million records worldwide,* George McCrae's 1974 debut, "Rock Your Baby." It was written by two members of KC & the Sunshine Band, Harry Wayne Casey and Richard Finch, shortly before that group would become their own force to be reckoned with. And the funny thing about this particular song is that it sort of happened on a bit of a whim: McCrae was only called in because KC & the Sunshine Band couldn't sing the high notes themselves. And they'd also intended for George's wife, Gwen, whose career he also managed, to record it, but she didn't make it to the session in time. George didn't even have any solo career to speak of at that point and was actually planning on going back to college, but that recording invitation ended up changing everything for not only him, but also KC & the Sunshine Band, T.K. Records itself, and even the trajectory of disco music as a whole since the tune became one of the genre's first ever feats. And it's also one of the first songs to *ever use a drum machine* too. So, it's literally a world-changing record. And I also happen to think that it's one of the greatest songs that's ever been made, period; like, top-ten-status. Seriously, it’s *that* good.

And the unprecedented success of "Rock Your Baby" then paved the way for KC & the Sunshine Band to keep the still nascent disco wave going on their own, with two of their first *five #1 hits in a five-year span* being released within just four months of each other in 1975: "Get Down Tonight" and "That's the Way (I Like It)," both of which have become genre-defining disco playlist staples and are also featured on this album.

KC & the Sunshine Band would then anchor T.K.'s roster throughout most of its remaining existence, but Harry Wayne Casey and Richard Finch would also co-write more songs for other acts on the label too, including a terrific piece of uptempo funky soul by the one and only Betty Wright, whose "Where Is the Love," released by T.K. sublabel Alston, barely managed to scrape the Hot 100 in 1975, but ended up peaking at #2 on the Dance Club chart.

And T.K. had other successes that didn't involve KC & the Sunshine Band too. One example is another global chart-topper in 1979 from one-hit wonder Anita Bell, who recorded "Ring My Bell" for T.K. subsidiary Juana. The rest of the label's songs that didn't involve KC & the Sunshine Band didn't fare nearly as well as that one, but The Bahamas' T-Connection managed to top the Dance chart for a full seven weeks in 1977 with "Do What You Wanna Do," which appears on this album alongside another excellent track of theirs from the following year called "At Midnight," which peaked at #3 on the Dance chart.

And closing out this album, much like it began, is another chill disco bop that features a great lead male falsetto on it in Foxy’s “Party Boys.” Released in 1980 as the band’s final single, it’s equipped with a fat bassline and some nice, soft touches of organ. It never made the Hot 100, but it peaked at #24 on the Dance chart. and it's proven itself to have been a pretty damn fine swan song for the group.

Now, I wouldn't say that this album fully entails what the best of T.K. Records and its many subsidiaries was, because, for that to happen, at least five of these songs would've had to have been by KC & the Sunshine Band. But still, only with just two of their #1s, "Rock Your Baby," and "Ring My Bell," you can see just how integral this label was to disco's success. And beyond that list of all-time disco bangers, T.K. was also able to keep the Dance chart humming with more terrific offerings that have become much more underappreciated over the years. There's a very important slice of disco history that's packed into this album, even if it doesn't present *all* of T.K.'s greatest hits.

Highlights:

George McCrae - "Rock Your Baby" KC & the Sunshine Band - "Get Down Tonight" KC & the Sunshine Band - "That's the Way (I Like It)" Peter Brown - "Do You Wanna Get Funky With Me" Anita Ward - "Ring My Bell" T-Connection - "At Midnight" T-Connection - "Do What You Wanna Do" Jimmy "Bo" Horne - "Spank" Betty Wright - "Where Is the Love" Foxy - "Party Boys"

[septembersghost]

this might be a big ask so it's okay if you can't answer it, but I was wondering if you could help me narrow down some old music to listen to, esp Frank Sinatra and Elvis since I think you have knowledge/reference with both of them? I'm interested in exploring things but there's A LOT and idk where to begin!

i love that you asked this, it's well-established that nothing in the world makes me happier than recommending/sharing music that is special to me, of any kind and from any time! it definitely is a LOT of content to take in, and hard to sort where to look because there's not only so much work across their catalogs, there are also all the compilation albums. if you have apple music, a simpler way to start is the essentials playlists, they don't include everything that i would myself, but they're good overviews! (ep, fs). and i'll use spotify links on these for you in case you have that instead <3

there are such a vast amount of individual songs that it's difficult to choose exactly where to point you!

with frank, first of all, nice 'n' easy is one of my favorite albums of all-time. like it's at the top of my list with red and rumours for Albums Needed to Understand Me. i think the best overview of his earlier years (when he was signed to capitol records, before he formed his own label, reprise), is this one. songs for swingin' lovers, in the wee small hours, and come fly with me are also fabulous. ring-a-ding-ding is so much fun. for an overview of his later career and the reprise years, nothing but the best has some great songs!

with elvis, i am actually doing whole album explorations myself! i've basically just always had a bunch of hits in my collection rather than full records. and my fave songs feel so obvious (can't help falling in love, love me tender, suspicious minds, fever, always on my mind, a little less conversation, i'm coming home, there's always me, it's now or never, that's all right, are you lonesome tonight, baby let's play house, surrender, burning love, that's all right...). the album if i can dream that they remastered/recorded with the royal philharmonic is absolutely gorgeous. this one is a collection of #1's, there's the recording of the '68 comeback special, something for everybody and from elvis in memphis are great.

i'd also highly recommend looking into ella fitzgerald if you like frank's music, because she's wonderful too. the industry was structured differently then - i used to have a wider breadth of knowledge that i could tell you about all of this, it's faded out of my head over the years, but you'll find many of the same songs recorded by different artists because songwriting and vocalists weren't quite as personally interconnected as they are now, and popular music was very much comprised of the songbook standards, so artists would essentially license songs from a given writer and put their own spin on them, rather than all releasing their own individual things. (this is notable, for example, with elvis and hound dog, which often is erroneously criticized. big mama thornton did record her rendition first, but the song was created by and belonged to two jewish songwriters, jerry leiber and mike stoller. it had already been covered multiple times (including by a white vocal group, which was how he encountered it initially) when elvis heard it, liked it, and chose to adapt/record it. (i searched around for info for you and there's more informed elaboration on that here!) a rich legacy of american music from the earlier crooners and jazz artists lies with jewish composers, both on radio and on broadway (and at the time, those often overlapped), so you'll find many of the singers recorded gershwin, irving berlin, lorenz hart, rodgers and hammerstein, sammy cahn, frank loesser, etc. and then there were other prominent writers like the incomparable cole porter (who has been covered sensationally by lady gaga and tony bennett!), johnny mercer, etc. then elvis was very inspired by and had immense respect for black artists/writers, r&b and gospel, so you get an infusion of all of those backgrounds and influences. (frank and elvis were both very openly supportive of artists of color around them and tried to help open doors, as marilyn famously did for ella as well. it was such a complex time, and i think it's important to keep those aspects in mind and remember the many voices and legacies that were playing their parts!) both of those men (and bing crosby, who helped pioneer the single, among other things), and their many contemporaries, transformed music as a whole, and that still resonates powerfully to this day, even in places where we might not realize it.

i hope this helps a little! 💗 the best thing you can do, honestly, is just dive in and explore, you're guaranteed to find gems and specific songs you love, and there's so much to spend time with and to enjoy.

[jeonqkooks]

our beloved summer | jjk (01)

You made a vow to hate Jeon Jungkook ever since he packed up and left you without a single explanation, but when he shows up at your door after years of radio silence, it turns out that maybe your resolve isn’t as strong as you thought.

pairing: producer!jungkook x songwriter!reader

genre/warnings: exes au, college au (in flashbacks), fluff, angst, eventual smut, kissing, swearing

rating: PG-13

word count: 8.4k

note: OKAY SHE IS FINALLY HERE. i am so nervous about this oh god i will hide in my bedroom and never come out again. anyway umm obviously all the technical stuff about music producing and album making comes from google so! blame google if i get things wrong about music making lol

playlist | series masterpost

— as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡

The movies lied—college really isn’t what it’s cracked up to be. Who even has the time to constantly go drinking and clubbing, deliver assignments on time, maintain a social life, all the while be expected to have a blooming love life? Definitely not you, and not when there’s a pain in your ass by the name of Jeon Jungkook.

The douchebag in your music theory class who’s always trying to one up you.

To be fair, he’s not a bad person (probably), but he’s just so goddamn annoying. 

It’s only your first semester, but you’ve already found a sworn enemy in Jungkook. The funny thing is, you and him share the same circle, and your friends all adore him to bits. 

Curse Kim Taehyung for bringing you into this mess.

(You got a job at the campus library nearly halfway into the semester, and that’s where you met Taehyung, a fellow part-time librarian and full-time stressed out college student. Though your majors and interests don’t exactly align—he’s studying Art History while you’re pursuing a Music degree—you somehow hit it off and he became your first real friend at college.

Taehyung introduced you to Jimin, his roommate, who then brought in someone that you recognized from class named Hoseok but had never really talked to before and… tragically for you, the bane of your existence, Jeon Jungkook.)

At every party and get-together that Taehyung drags you to, Jungkook is there. There was a part of you that hoped he was only an asshole to you because you two had been competing for first place in class, and it wouldn’t have mattered that much if the person with the highest GPA wasn’t given the opportunity to intern at an up-and-coming record label where one of the executives was old friends with your professor.

Neither of you got it in the end; the professor said you and Jungkook had too much “unhealthy” competition going on and decided to bestow the honor upon the third highest ranked in class which was Hoseok. (Okay, that was good for him, but still.)

Anyway, even outside of academia, Jungkook is insufferable only toward you while he’s a ray of sunshine to literally everybody else. You’ve seen him interact with other people, and you’ve witnessed how his attitude completely switches up when it comes to you. No, whenever he talks to you, sweet and bubbly Jungkook immediately morphs into a cocky and patronizing version of the man.

He probably thinks he’s so much better than you just because he happens to have a great singing voice (not that you would ever admit this to him) and you can’t belch out a single note to save your life. But newsflash buddy! Not every music major has to end up a singer.

Taehyung, Jimin, and even Hoseok have assured you that Jungkook doesn’t hate you, but who are they to say? They’ve never received the same treatment as you.

“On Earth, We’re Briefly Gorgeous?” You skim the cover and quirk an eyebrow. “Huh. I didn’t know you’re into stuff like this, Jeon.”

He isn’t. Though he was surprised that the school library even had a shelf for contemporary autobiographies, the only reason he borrowed it was because Taehyung mentioned in passing that it’s one of your favorite books.

“There’s a lot of things you don’t know about me,” he mumbles under his breath, which you don’t catch.

When Jungkook lingers, you look at him in confusion. “I already know who you are. You don’t have to give me your student ID. You can go.”

“You should, uh, check if I damaged the book or something.”

“Did you?” you narrow your eyes at him.

“No, no… I mean– Just do it, will you?”

Rolling your eyes in annoyance, you reach for the book but his hand shoots out to stop you. “Not right now,” he stammers. “Later.”

What the hell are you doing? You want to bark at him, but it’s nearly 9 o’clock and this tiresome day has drained the life out of you.

After you finished your last exam this morning, all you wanted was to go back to your room and get some much needed rest. But alas, the universe had different plans. Taehyung begged you to cover his shift at the library because the dumbass messed up the dates and bought his bus ticket home today instead of tomorrow to visit his family. You’d do anything for your friends so naturally you said yes, at the expense of your physically deteriorating form.

Right now, you just want to teleport to your dorm and sleep till the sun swallows up the Earth. “Fine,” you grumble, not having the energy to deal with whatever Jungkook’s schtick is, “anything else?”

He purses his lips, glances between you and the book, then shakes his head. He taps his fingers lightly against the wooden desk between you, like he wants to say something else but doesn’t know how to verbalize the words. If you weren’t so tired, maybe you’d even make fun of him for getting his panties in such a twist.

“Okay, um,” he says finally and turns to leave, “goodnight then.”

You only hum and wave a disinterested hand at his retreating form, not caring that he can’t see you. Leaning back against the chair that offers you zero lumbar support and has been killing your back for the past few hours, you groan loudly.

The library barely had anyone coming in today, probably because finals were over and everyone was either recovering from nights lost to exam preparation, or out drinking to celebrate the end of the semester. You highly doubt there would be anyone dropping by ten minutes before closing time, so you push yourself to your feet and start to gather your things.

After entering Jungkook’s name into the computer and ticking his borrowed book as ‘returned’, you flip through it boredly per his request. 

A piece of yellow paper slips from the pages and falls to the floor. When you go to pick it up, you freeze at the sight of a neatly scripted line in black ink. Surprise (or perhaps shock would be a better word) parts the fog in your brain.

Dinner this Saturday? – JK

The next afternoon, Jungkook comes back to the library with no book to return nor a need to borrow a new one. 

“Hey,” he gives you an awkward wave as he approaches, “how’s it going?”

You give him a small smile in greeting that you know must look weird and manufactured. Never in your few months of knowing him have you ever smiled at him on purpose. “Fine, thanks.”

“Did you, um, check the book?”

You stiffen, and this makes him stiffen. Jungkook knows you saw it.

Do you say yes? No? What’s the best course of action here? What did he even mean? Why would he ask you out for dinner? What does he want? Why was he acting so self-conscious about it? God, why isn’t Taehyung here to help you through this crisis?

Your lips tighten into a thin line as you contemplate your plan. Jungkook has never seemed shy around you. Maybe he’s just trying to be nice because all your friends are home to see their families, and you and him are the only ones who aren’t. Maybe he just pities you because he thinks you might be lonely.

“Yes,” you decide.

“And?” he prompts, growing more nervous by the second. What is up with this guy?

“Do you need to talk about something over dinner?”

“No, not really,” he says, scratching the back of his head. “I just want to hang out with you, one on one. Get to know each other better, y’know…”

“Just the two of us?” you narrow your eyes at him skeptically. “Are you… asking me on a date?” That can’t be possible, right? But then, he was acting weird when he was returning the book. And he’s here again now, anxiously glancing between you and the door like he’s ready to bolt any second.

You can’t figure out what it means.

Is he messing with you? Is it all part of his plan to trick you into dressing up for him only to stand you up and humiliate you? He’s annoying, but you’ve never thought of him as someone who would do such a thing.

No… Jungkook might be the most irritating prick on the planet but he’s not that douchey.

“Yes?” he doesn’t sound so sure of it. He looks like he’s summoning the ground to swallow him whole under your scrutinizing gaze. “I mean,” he adds in a small voice, “if you want...”

It isn’t that you don’t find Jungkook attractive. God knows that man is blessed with looks that people dream about, but you suppose the hostility between you two has distracted you from that fact. Irritation eclipses attraction.

But that irritation is nowhere to be found now, not even an inkling. There’s mostly perplexity, and that certainly isn’t enough to trick you into thinking that Jungkook isn’t one of the most handsome men you’ve laid eyes on.

You can’t think properly in this stupefied state. The words slip out before you can make sense of the whole situation. “Sure, yeah, okay.”

Jungkook looks just as surprised as you are once you realize what you just said. Your eyes widen and your lips part. You should definitely take it back, this is absurd! Where’s your goddamn voice when you need it?

“Yeah? It’s a date?” he asks, gazing down at you with those stupid doe eyes that you haven’t fully taken in until now. They compel you to nod.

“Yeah… it’s a date.”

What is happening?

A few seconds pass, and part of you thinks he’ll start laughing in the middle of the library but you’d be the one embarrassed.

Instead, Jungkook gives you a big bunny grin that has you startled. You’ve never been on the receiving end of it before, having gotten used to his arrogant smirk and condescending tone the entire semester. But this is clearly something you didn’t expect. It’s kind of… beautiful, actually.

Before you can react, he’s already headed for the door. He waves enthusiastically, nerves seemingly gone now, and calls out in a loud voice that you would usually frown at and shush people for. “I’ll text you!”

What if it ends up a huge disaster? Well, then you suppose you’d go back to hating each other and forget the whole thing happened. But there’s a possibility even worse that you can’t even begin to fathom right now. If it goes well, would there be another date? 

What should you wear? What’s a good outfit that doesn’t make it seem like you’re trying too hard? It’s January though, should you sacrifice warmth for fashion? Where’s that pair of lace underwear that you bought last month–

Wait, why do you care?

God, why is this happening?

You were definitely overthinking this. These were the questions plaguing your every waking moment since that day at the library until this afternoon, a couple hours before your… date. Your brain went haywire the moment he left the library and evidently, it didn’t get a chance to calm down. 

(When you called to tell Taehyung about it after the realization that you would actually be going on a date with Jungkook hit you like a truckload of bricks, your friend gasped and mumbled to himself something you couldn’t quite catch over the phone, something about owing money to someone.)

In the end, you settled on a fitted sweater and your favorite winter coat. Mostly because Jungkook showed up right on time and you spent too long fussing over the possibilities to think of anything else to wear. 

It was awkward at first with neither of you knowing how to act. What’s a girl gotta do on a date with her arch nemesis? No one writes guides on these kinds of things, not even Buzzfeed. You actually considered shaking his hand when you saw him, but he pulled you into a loose hug before you could do anything else.

Throughout the evening, he felt like a stranger. It wasn’t the Jungkook that you’d been used to, the one who constantly volunteered to make your life a living hell.

No, tonight you were with a different Jungkook. You laughed with each other, smiled at each other, let your hand intentionally brush the other’s but never gathered enough courage to actually lace them together. There was still banter, but not the kind that you hated.

There was no trace of the jerk who always irritated you to no end and instead, Jungkook was softer, incredibly sweeter and thoughtful. You felt like you were meeting him for the first time.

It was refreshing, but also… disheartening? These past few months, you could’ve liked him rather than despise him had he shown this side of himself to you. You suppose that’s a question for another occasion; you don’t want to risk turning the mood sour.

Now, as he’s walking you back to your dorm, only one question lingers on your mind. 

“Tonight was actually… really nice,” you admit shyly.

He laughs softly then. “Did you expect it to crash and burn?”

“Yes,” your lack of hesitation only spurs on his chortles. He sounds like he could be an Elmo impersonator.

Once the laughter dies down, you’re left staring at each other in front of your building. The mid January cold bites at your exposed skin, making you shiver lightly and your nose redden. Your skin heats up for a reason other than the wind.

“We’re here,” you say, lamely pointing to the front door. “Guess I should head inside…”

You watch Jungkook visibly gulp as he nods, eyes locking onto yours for a brief second before his gaze falls to the ground, then back to your face again.

You haven’t gone out with someone in a while, but you still know what should happen now.

Will he kiss you? Do you want him to kiss you? Wow, you think. You never imagined there would come a day where you would have to ponder about something like this. Taehyung would be hounding you for days if he got to pick your brain right now. Oh One Direction, just how fast the night changes indeed…

Jungkook takes a step closer and your heart involuntarily picks up a couple beats. When he leans down, it has your stomach doing somersaults. But the tingly sensation is soon replaced with disappointment when you feel his lips press against your cheek.

Damn.

“Goodnight,” he smiles when he pulls away. 

You’re sure you look flushed, but it isn’t something that can’t be easily blamed on the cold. You return his smile and bid him a safe walk home before turning toward your dorm.

Once there’s some distance between you and Jungkook, you can’t help but ghost your fingers over the spot where his lips were. 

Goddamn. God damn him, god damn those stupid lips and god damn those stupid eyes.

This isn’t how you imagined you would spend your semester break. The moment you set foot in your room, you know you’ll begin to analyze every single detail that happened over the last few hours. You had a good time, but didn’t he? Is that why he only pecked your cheek like you were his grandma?

Oh God, not to mention the way your heart dropped when he didn’t kiss you. On the mouth! Jeon Jungkook! 

As you riffle through your cluttered purse to fetch your keycard with an even more cluttered mind, a hand lands on your shoulder. Instinctively, you gasp and jerk away.

Naturally, your heels are your downfall in this moment of hasty panic. Your purse drops to the ground as your arms flail in the air. Seconds feel like hours as you await the impending collision between your butt and the asphalt, though it never comes.

The hand that was on your shoulder is clutching your arm tightly to keep you upright. It might leave a bruise tomorrow, but at least it’s the only thing keeping you from falling ass first right now.

“Shit! I’m sorry, that was so stupid,” Jungkook stutters as he helps you steady yourself. “I called your name but you didn’t respond.” 

He should be the one embarrassed, but somehow you are. When he picks up your purse and hands it to you, the awkwardness from earlier returns. You’re staring at each other again; whoever is watching the security cameras must be having a blast.

You clear your throat. “Oh, I must’ve been… thinking. Did you, uh, need anything else?”

“No,” he mutters as he fumbles with his fingers. “No, I…”

Okay, this just took a turn for the worse. This is going to be what you fixate on for the rest of the break—how you almost fell on your ass in front of Jeon Jungkook, because of Jeon Jungkook. 

He seems to be having a different kind of dilemma than you though. He still has an apologetic look on his face, but he shakes his head a little more harshly than necessary, as if that would erase what just happened from existence. He clasps his hands together firmly, like he’s about to give you a sales pitch.

Fuck it, Jungkook thinks, now or never.

“I chickened out earlier,” he says and loops an arm around your waist, tugging you closer and effectively making you gasp at the suddenness. His other hand brushes your hair from your face and settles on your cheek, the one he kissed only minutes prior. “I wanted to do this.”

He leans down for the second time tonight, and this time you know what’s coming. More importantly, you know you want it to happen. Your faces are so close that you can see the small scar on his cheek; your fingers itch to trace that line of his skin. You hope there’ll be another time for that.

Still, he doesn’t kiss you just yet. He waits a moment to see if you’d pull away and when you don’t, he just smiles. Like he can’t believe this is finally happening.

His pillowy lips meet yours in a tentative greeting. It’s slow at first, you’re both just testing the waters.

A goodbye to your old dynamic now that a line has been crossed and you two can never go back to the way it was. A hello to a new beginning and to the seeds that it’s planting in your chest, right beside your heart.

His body wraps around you as his mouth envelopes your own, everything is just a little surreal that you get lightheaded. It’s kind of… nice, and you tell yourself it’s the heat radiating off his body that’s making you feel this warm.

When you pull apart, you would’ve thought it was a fever dream if it wasn't for the blush that colored his cheeks. His lips are shiny from the kiss, and his eyes are still glued to your mouth.

Okay, so maybe there are two things you’ll never forget about today: How you almost fell on your ass, and how he kissed you.

He laughs breathlessly to himself and pulls you closer, resting his forehead against yours while you remain speechless.

“I’ve been wanting to do that since your presentation on tonal systems.”

Eight Years Later

Wednesday. The absolute worst day of the week.

You can’t even remember what made you hate Wednesdays so much, but you always feel a sense of dread whenever the middle of the week rolls around. Maybe it’s because every bad news you’ve received in your life has mostly been delivered on a Wednesday. That’s why you never work, or do anything really, on this day, and given that you don’t have a traditional 9-to-5 job, it gives you more leeway to skip work anyway. It’s your own self-care day, where you allow yourself to stop worrying about anything and just be. 

Nothing bad can happen if you don’t let it, right? (It’s definitely not a logical plan, but whatever, let’s just entertain this.)

When the incessant rings of your doorbell echo throughout your apartment at 7:56 on this—surprise, surprise—Wednesday morning, you already know it can’t be anything good.

Your sleep-hazed brain doesn’t allow you much to work with. It’s too early for deliveries, and all of your friends and co-workers know better than to bother you on Hump Day, least of all in the morning at that. So when you throw open your door, ready to tear a new one into this godforsaken person who woke you up from your slumber, never would you ever expect to see a ghost from your past standing in front of you. Not in a million years—because it has been years, hasn’t it? 

No, not a ghost—the ghost, one who has been haunting you since the summer of your college graduation.

Him. In the flesh. In a simple black blazer thrown over a t-shirt but still looking every bit like the sun on the day he left you. Jeon Jungkook.

You must still be dreaming, right? There’s no reason for him to show up at your door after all these years of radio silence and oh yeah, especially after he—once the keeper of your heart—crushed it into pieces and even went the extra mile to cut it up like finely-chopped garlic, and left you. Besides, how does he even know where you live now? There is absolutely no reason for him to be here. It must be the bottle of rosé you wholeheartedly chugged last night while rewatching Goblin. That’s right, this is just a figment of your worst imaginatio–

“Long time no see, stranger.”

You almost jump. Oh no, it speaks. Was your wine laced with hallucinogens? Your brows knit together and your lips part in bewilderment.

In this nightmare of yours, he looks good. Jungkook always did manage to look effortlessly handsome even if he had just rolled out of bed. Still the same pillowy pink lips, same sparkling doe eyes boring into yours. His hair is styled differently, in an unfamiliar way that you’ve only been acquainted with through the photos that he gets tagged in online. He’s back to his black hair though, with zero traces of the blond head that he sported last year. You never did get a chance to see what it looked like in real life, but once in college, you and him had laughed about the possibility of him dyeing his hair golden and how it would look so terrible. That didn’t turn out to be the case, obviously. 

It’s not until the figure in front of you snaps his fingers that you realize you’ve been gaping for the past few minutes. You reach a hand out to poke him in the shoulder, and you almost gasp when he doesn’t dissipate into thin air.

What the fuck.

Jungkook only chuckles. “Aren’t you gonna invite me in?”

You let yourself gape at him for another minute before you speak. “Why are you here? How do you know where I live?”

“A little birdy told me,” he smiles, but soon gives up when you remain unimpressed. “Fine, it was Tae.”

Taehyung, that fucking traitor. You make a mental note to send him a very strongly worded letter.

You exhale in annoyance. “Get to the point. What do you want?”

“So…” he starts, rubbing his hands together as he looks at you, “I’m assuming you know Jin, right?”

“Jin? Kim Seokjin?” you stare at him like he’s stupid. “Global superstar Jin? Two-time Grammy nominee Jin? Turned-down-an-offer-to-be-in-a-Bond-soundtrack Jin? The guy with the face of a Greek God and the voice of an angel? That Jin?”

He pokes a tongue into his cheek, a very Jungkook thing that you haven’t seen in a very long time. He used to do that when he was annoyed or jealous, and to be fair, they often overlapped. “Yeah, that Jin.”

“Sure,” you shrug, “I’ve heard of him.”

“Well, I’m producing his new album. No, I should be producing his new album, and…”

You raise an eyebrow, shooting him a pointed look. And? C’mon, out with it.

“He’ll only sign with us if… if we get you on board as the primary songwriter.”

If it were anyone else saying this to you, you probably would’ve jumped up and down in pure excitement and called every single person you know to brag about the international pop sensation wanting to work with you. Snatching an opportunity like this will most likely ensure that you’ll never be unemployed again, not when you’ve had a hand in creating a Kim Seokjin album. It’s the big break you’ve always dreamed of, the one to propel you forward and get your name circulating around the industry. Just imagine the kind of apartment you could get with Kim Seokjin-level royalties.

If it were anyone else asking, you would’ve fainted, woken up again, and said yes in a heartbeat. Instead, it’s your ex boyfriend who’s propositioned you out of the blue because it’s really him who needs to make this work.

In the moment—and to be fair, in the morning too—you’re not level-headed enough to weigh the pros and cons. If he’s the producer, you’d also be working with him and you don’t think you have the capacity to handle being in the same space as Jeon Jungkook, and even for months on end until the album is fleshed out. But it isn’t even just that, there’s a petty voice inside your head screaming at you to forgo whatever success you may garner from this project, just for the sake of fucking him over.

You’ve heard enough chatter about Jin to know that he isn’t someone that can be sweet-talked and bargained with. If he wants something, he has to get it. If not, the man walks.

You succumb to the pettiness. “I’ll have you know, my email is just blowing up with offers. I’m doing quite well for myself.”

Okay, it’s not completely untrue. Your inbox might not be on the verge of combustion from an overload of messages, but you have made a name for yourself. Since your project with Agust D last year, your songwriting has definitely been a sought after commodity, but not anywhere near the circles of Kim Seokjin though.

The smirk on Jungkook’s face drops, and in its place a smile blooms across his lips, an earnest smile. “I know.”

You’re taken aback by the sincerity, and how you still think his smile is beautiful enough to part way for the sun on cloudy days. Like Kim Taehyung, your own heart becomes a traitor when it misses a beat.

Jungkook’s acknowledgment of your achievements has you blinking at him to make sure you heard him right. It takes you a moment to regain your composure and straighten up. “Oh… Then you know how it is. I don’t have time to take on another project. Off you go now.”

“C’mon, you won’t even consider it for an old friend?”

Your mouth sets in a grim line as you stare at him, and he knows from the way your jaw clenches that he’s said the wrong thing.

No, he’s not an old friend. And while he knows of your achievements and that you’ve created somewhat of a decent life for yourself, he doesn’t know that your first day of work started with false bravado and nearly ended with a breakdown in a lavender-scented bathroom stall when you remembered that the only person you wanted to talk to about your day wouldn’t be there when you got home.

He doesn’t know you used to get so shitfaced on a weekly basis that Taehyung became genuinely concerned for your health at one point, that he and Jimin had to sit you down for a talk before they thought your liver would give out.

He doesn’t know how much it fucking hurts to be suckerpunched by someone you thought was the love of your life, to be disregarded and abandoned as if years together held the significance of mere days in the end. To be left without a single word as to why you weren’t good enough for him.

So no, Jungkook isn’t an old friend. Sometimes you think maybe it would have been better if that’s all he ever was to you.

“We’re not friends,” you declare eerily calmly that you even surprise yourself. The door closes in his face with a click. The wood under your palm should feel light, but somehow it weighs a thousand pounds now.

Old friend, you mull over the word in your head. Is that all you’ve been reduced to? You’re reminded once again that you hate Jeon Jungkook, and this sensation poking into your heart like a sharp needle is just your accumulated disdain toward him—nothing more. 

For a split second you wonder if you should have let yourself feel that January cold instead of his warmth.

You can’t go back to sleep now that your entire morning has been ruined. 

[08:38] You: Kim Taehyung.

[08:38] You: is there anything u would like to tell me

[08:39] You: ? 😇

[08:52] Taebear 🐻: ?? it’s not 10 yet why are you up

[08:53] You: answer the question, Kim 😇

[08:53] Taebear 🐻: what are you on about

[08:55] Taebear 🐻: is this because i ate your ice cream the other day?

[08:56] You: what ice cream

[08:58] Taebear 🐻: that white flavor with the chocolate bits

[08:59]: ????

[08:59] You: wtf u ate THE haagen dazs irish whiskey and chocolate waffle ice cream that i’ve been saving ?? fuck that was limited edition

[09:00] You: wait no i can’t even focus on that right now. why the fuck was jeon jungkook at my apartment on this godforsaken wednesday morning??

[09:04] Taebear 🐻: oh

[09:04] Taebear 🐻: damn

[09:09] You: ?????

[09:09] You: that’s all u have to say ???

As irritated as you are at Taehyung, you refrain from calling to yell at him while he’s at work. So when he casually strolls into your apartment at lunch with a takeaway bag of two poké bowls from your favorite diner, you know he’s here to spill the beans. (And also to butter you up; he even splurged on a side of tobiko and a large taro boba for when you’re finished.) The sight of the food dilutes your anger; you gotta hand it to him—Kim Taehyung knows the way to your heart. (Hint: it’s through your stomach.)

The moment he sets his and your food on the dining table, you immediately narrow your eyes at him. “Explain, Kim.”

Taehyung runs a hand through his hair, sighing as he begins to mix the content of your bowl for you. “Jungkook asked me where you lived like a month ago, said he needed to ask for a work favor. But then he didn’t do anything after that so I forgot about it.”

“Why didn’t you tell me when he asked?”

“He told me not to.”

You cross your arms in front of your chest, mouth hanging open to gape at him, flabbergasted. “And you listened to him? You’re supposed to be on my side!” Are you childish for wanting Taehyung to be on your side? He has always been closer to you; he was your friend first. “I can’t believe you’d do me dirty like that, Tae. I feel so betrayed right now. I got you in the divorce and Jungkook got Jimin. I can’t believe you’d go running off to daddy like that.”

He scrunches his face in distaste. “Ugh, please don’t call Jungkook my daddy.” He pushes the bowl toward you.

Silence settles over your apartment aside from the sounds of cutlery against ceramic. As you munch on your rice and spicy mayo salmon, Taehyung asks warily. “You good though?”

Jungkook has always been a sensitive subject, clearly. With your shared circle of friends from college and even now with your mutual connections in the industry, you’re surprised that you haven’t run into him at all in the past five years. 

You only grumble around a mouthful of food. You take your sweet time with your poké and when you’re finished, you wash it down with a generous sip of the boba Taehyung brought over. Salmon and milk tea are probably not the best combo though.

“Positively dandy.” It’s just my ex who I haven’t seen in half a decade and would’ve liked to never see again for the rest of my miserable life. “Live, laugh, love, Kim.”

He only squints at you. Though your face is devoid of any emotion—you have to praise your own poker face when someone brings up Jungkook, it’s taken you a hell of a long time to master—your bitter tone is a dead giveaway of how much the surprise reunion is affecting you.

You should’ve suspected that Kim Taehyung was up to no good when he suddenly called to treat you to lunch two days later. The man even insisted that you order the most expensive thing on the menu, something that you and him have only reserved for celebrations.

You never thought that one day, food would be your downfall.

A figure slides into the chair next to yours after you gulp down the last of your drink, and it became all too clear what Kim Taehyung had been scheming. You should really be more cautious when people randomly start offering you food; it’s becoming a problem.

You look at the intruder with wide eyes, fingers still gripping the glass. “What are you doing here?”

“Listen.” It’s Taehyung who speaks up, drawing your attention away from Jungkook. “Just hear him out–”

“Kim Taehyung!” You kick him in the shin under the table, to which he yelps and gets a few heads turning in the semi-crowded restaurant. “You backstabbing bitch!”

“God, you’re so dramatic. Just hear him out, okay? I think this could be really good for your career.”

Your jaw clenches, and both men notice the way you slightly scooch away from the one next to you. Damn them and damn you. You’re always more pliant with a satiated stomach; maybe that’s why Jungkook didn’t show up until after you had finished eating. 

Waving a hand in the air in defeat, you motion for your ex to do whatever it is that he came here to do. Mostly, you want to waste his time just to say no to him in the end.

Jungkook immediately launches into a whole speech about how this could be Jin’s greatest album yet if they had you on the team. Apparently Jin has been itching to sink his claws into you ever since he found out you worked with Yoongi; you knew the two of them were friends, but you didn’t realize that your work even drew that kind of attention.

As the man explains what the album concept would be, your resolve almost breaks. Fuck, if it doesn’t sound like something right up your alley. You’re already envisioning everything you could do with this album, the lyrics that are practically writing themselves inside your head. Nevertheless, it isn’t that simple. There’s always a but, and that but is sitting right beside you, droning on about how this album might actually be the one to score Jin his first Grammy win. Jungkook didn’t seem fazed when he saw you the other day, and he sure isn’t fazed now. You’re supposed to be someone he used to love, but the way he’s so nonchalant makes you feel like you were never more than just a mere acquaintance.

When he’s finished, you don’t respond. Instead, you turn to your friend. “Seriously, Tae,” you scoff, glaring at the man sitting across from you. This is the second time that Kim Taehyung has betrayed you in a span of two days; one more strike and you might just key his car. “I can’t believe you ran off to daddy again.”

He rolls his eyes at you while Jungkook raises a brow in amusement and leans back against his chair. “I told you not to say that,” he grumbles. “But honestly, I’m saying this as your best friend–”

“My best friend wouldn’t use my greatest weakness to trick me.”

“Oh my God, just—listen, do you not see what an insane opportunity this is? It’s Kim Seokjoon, for crying out loud. Even I know who that is and you tell me all the time that I have zero knowledge of pop culture.”

“Kim Seokjin,” Jungkook pipes in before you can.

“Oh, shit,” Taehyung scratches his head awkwardly, “right, well, my point still stands. You’ve always wanted something like this to happen, so why are you doing this to yourself now? Just because it’s Ju–”

“Tae.” Your gaze hardens as you look at him, and Jungkook sees how you and the older man communicate without having to utter a single word. He never understood the connection, the bond, between the two of you but he has always appreciated the fact that you have someone like Taehyung. Someone who understands you in ways that he couldn’t, who looks out for you and takes care of you no matter what, who made sure you wouldn’t fall when Jungkook was the one to shatter the ground beneath you.

After a minute, Taehyung softens. “I’m just saying,” he nudges your foot under the table to ease the tension, “when are you gonna get a chance like this again? Some things aren’t worth sacrificing your dreams for.”

He’s right, and you know you’re being childish. When are you going to get an offer of this magnitude? This is your dream; this is something you’ve been working toward all these years. Are you really about to let it pass you by because of Jungkook?

You turn away from both of them and close your eyes, sighing as you expel the weight in your chest. “Fuck,” you mutter under your breath, “my life is a dumpster fire waiting to blow up. Fucking hell.”

“Language, sailor,” Jungkook scolds you lightly. “How can someone with such a foul mouth write lyrics that beautiful? You never used to swear this much.”

You choose to fire back at him rather than focus on the fact that he listens to your songs. “The keyword here is “used to”. You don’t know me anymore.”

He stares at you, and once again he knows he’s dug his own grave, earning even more points in your bad books. He only meant to be playful, but now he doesn’t know how to respond to that.

Thankfully, Taehyung chimes in. “It can’t hurt to think about it right? It’s a good opportunity.” 

Your brows knit together and you fist the hem of your shirt. You look a little distressed, and Jungkook remembers how you used to do this to will yourself before you committed to something you really don’t want to. It used to be research papers for psychology classes, but now it’s him.

“Fine, I will think about it.”

“That’s all I’m asking,” Jungkook says, his voice a little smaller now. He hands you the folder that he’s been holding, and you gulp when his hand brushes yours, just barely. “Here’s the creative brief. Let me know what you think, alright? My business card is in there.”

As Taehyung watches the two of you, he isn’t entirely convinced if this is such a good idea anymore. Career-wise, you’d be out of your mind not to snatch this offer right off the bat; but emotionally speaking, there’s still something that he can’t properly decipher between you and Jungkook.

He sees the way the younger man glances at you, and the way you wouldn’t look at him. Taehyung has noticed how your tone has grown subconsciously more defensive and overly nonchalant the past couple of days, as if you’re trying to convince yourself and everybody else that you’re doing fine. For years, you’ve been claiming that you despise Jungkook and that the resentment you have toward him will never change, but no one has really been able to confirm that hypothesis. You haven’t been in the same room since college, and it’s a hell of a lot easier to say you’re over someone when you aren’t standing in front of them and looking into their eyes.

Nonetheless, it’s his duty as your friend to make sure you choose what’s best for you, and this—no matter how ludicrous it sounds to you—will do you more good than harm. Whatever may happen, he knows you’ll never forgive yourself if you miss this chance. And just like how Taehyung has helped you through your toughest days before, he can do it again. You’ve recovered from Jungkook once, you can do it a second time.

…Right?

Naturally, you had to go and get sloshed that night. Alone, because Taehyung had a work function that he couldn’t skip and though he promised to take you out to drown your sorrows the next day instead, you just couldn’t wait to forget about Jungkook.

On his birthday the year of your breakup, you had called him to wish him a happy birthday even though he never made an effort to reach out to you at all after you went your separate ways; or rather, he went his own way and you were left there all alone. The line rang, and rang, and finally when the call connected, you felt the air get knocked out of your lungs at the sound of a woman’s voice filtering through the speaker, airy and giggly.

“Is this… Jungkook’s phone?” you tried to keep your voice from breaking.

“Jungkook?” the woman sounded confused. “I’m sorry, I think you have the wrong number.”

You promptly ended the call afterward, not knowing whether to feel relieved that no, he didn’t get a new girlfriend, or dejected because he changed his number and didn’t tell you.

Well, of course, why would he? You broke up and Jungkook made it blatantly obvious that he didn’t want anything to do with you anymore. It hurt you to admit it—something that had once been so unimaginable now taking over every aspect of your life—that you had become strangers who once meant the world to each other.

Shit happens. People wake up and fall out of love everyday. People change, then they leave. Life goes on.

It didn’t mean much, but you deleted the number that night.

Now, as you’re staring at this new set of digits you took from the business card Jungkook had given you, anxiety bubbles in your stomach. The fact that you’re actually considering it, means you’ll say yes. It is an incredible opportunity, Taehyung didn’t need to do all of that for you to see it. But partly because it’s Jungkook who’s asking, and you’re weak despite how many times you’ve claimed to hate his guts. Despite wanting to say no with your entire being, he affects you in ways that you never thought were still possible. Though you haven’t agreed to his proposition, your mind is already picturing what will happen when history inevitably repeats itself.

You’ll say yes, he’ll take what he needs from you, and he will leave. You will go back to being strangers again. The numbers staring at you in blue light will be another set for you to delete.

That’s why Jimin is here now, at the wine bar where he’s found himself with Taehyung so many times before just to pick you up and drag your drunken self home.

But Taehyung isn’t here tonight because of the aforementioned work event so Jimin brought backup—it just happens that it’s the same person you're trying your hardest to forget about.

(They were lounging on Jungkook’s couch playing video games when the call came and interrupted Jimin. When Taehyung’s voice rang through the speakers to inform him of your situation and how Jimin would have to handle it alone this time, Jungkook’s curiosity was instantly piqued. 

“I’ll take you,” he said to the older man. “You didn’t drive here anyway.”

“Oh, you’re with Kook?” Taehyung asked hesitantly, then went quiet for a moment after Jimin confirmed. “Yeah, sure, you should take him with you. She probably won’t remember it…”)

“Jiminie,” you whine loudly once your friend helps you into the car, “Jiminieee.”

“Yes, what? I’m right here.”

“I saw Jungkook again. Twice.”

“Oh?” He looks at the younger man, unsure of how to proceed. “How did it go?”

Jungkook watches your face in the rearview mirror. Your hooded eyes are looking out the window, blinking lazily every few seconds before closing completely shut. He thinks you might have fallen asleep until you speak up a few minutes later.

“He didn’t ask how I’ve been doing. He just showed up out of the blue because he needed something from me and didn’t even bother to ask if my life’s been okay or anything. I–It made me feel so insignificant.”

For a moment, the already stuffy air in the car thickens. You sound like you’re sober, like you’re saying all of this under the guise of inebriation to see how he would react. But before either man can respond, you’re lolling your head to the side and mumbling incoherently again. Jungkook swallows, and Jimin remains quiet for the rest of the drive. The only sounds are your occasional hiccups and giggles.

When the car pulls up to your apartment complex, Jimin is too preoccupied with hauling you out of the vehicle to notice Jungkook’s hesitation to help him lug you into the building, but he does anyway. He hasn’t touched you in years, and you won’t even remember it in the morning.

It’s been so long, but when his arm wraps securely around your waist, it seems like no time has passed at all. His hand on your body still feels familiar and not as foreign as he would expect. Since you’re mostly leaning against Jungkook, it stirs a strange sensation in his gut when your head falls to rest in the crook of his neck. 

The elevator ride only lasts a few minutes, but he can’t focus with the way your warm breath is fanning his skin. When he crashed your lunch date with Taehyung 12 hours earlier, he didn’t expect the day would end like this—with you in his arms again, though the circumstances could’ve been better.

Once you make it to your door, you immediately perk up. “Oh?” You turn to Jungkook, as if you’ve only just noticed him for the first time tonight. “Chimmy, who’s your friend here?”

Jimin doesn’t reply, too busy ruffling through the chaos in your bag to find your keys and letting Jungkook hold you up by himself. (He never understands why women carry so many useless things around. The only things a person should need to bring with them outside are keys, phone and wallet. Maybe a pack of gum and condoms. Why do you even have a flask of vodka when you were already headed to a bar?)

When he takes too long, you turn to him and whisper. “Bitch, your friend is so cute!” (Only you think you’re whispering.) Jungkook chuckles as he tightens his grip on you. He can’t help but think you’re adorable—you’ve always been a cute drunk in his eyes, though if you would probably smack yourself over the head if you were aware of the words coming out of your mouth. It’s nice to hear that you still find some part of him tolerable.

Jimin lets out a triumphant sigh when he finally pulls your keys from the bag. The way he navigates your apartment in the dark and makes a beeline for what Jungkook assumes is your bedroom makes him wonder how many times the older man has done this whenever you’ve had one too many. Jungkook purposefully, albeit awkwardly, stands in the middle of your living room, glancing at your open door at Jimin who’s setting you on the bed and struggling to take off your jacket because you keep flailing your arms trying to hug him. Jungkook could help, but he feels like being in your home is already pushing his luck, let alone your bedroom, even if you aren’t quite conscious of his presence.

He takes the liberty of looking around, smiling to himself when he sees traces of you in every corner. Picture frames are scattered across your apartment—of you and your friends, your family, even Taehyung’s dog Yeontan because you love the little fluff ball so much. Dainty trinkets from your travels and art prints that you always said were pretentious but you secretly liked them anyway. 

No photos of you and him, but that makes sense of course.

Jimin emerges from your bedroom after a while, leaving the door ajar to see if you’re sleeping soundly before they leave. This is the first time in years that he has seen you and Jungkook in such close vicinity of each other. Sure, you’re drunk out of your mind, but still.

“She didn’t mean what she said earlier,” he says as he hands Jungkook a glass of water.

“She did. It’s fine, it’s not like she said anything wrong,” he takes a sip to wash away the slight sting creeping up his spine. “Of course I wanna know how she’s been, hyung. I just didn’t think I had the right to ask. I didn’t know it made her feel that way.”

Jimin sighs, unsure of what to say. Wounds that he thought had scabbed over are starting to bleed again, but this time it seems like it’s affecting the both of you. You were once each other’s safe haven, but now the waters are murky, and no one has a single clue on how to chart them.

A couple of sentences, but this might be the most that Jungkook has talked about you in years. You’re in the same circle of friends, your name was bound to come up in conversation. Whenever it happened, he would simply not contribute anything to the topic, or excuse himself to go to the bathroom until chatter about you has stopped.

He has always refused to disclose anything about the breakup when anyone asked. No one knows what really happened back then; not his brother, not his closest friends, and certainly not you.

— all rights reserved © jeonqkooks. reposting, translating and/or modifying is not permitted by any means. [posted may 28, 2022]

— taglist: @bids97 @ggukkieland @bloopkook @canarystwin @princehyun-jin @scoupsnotscoops @eridanuswave @mwitsmejk @thebluegoddess @pb89nv @ppeachyttae @bruisedscrewedandtattooed @xxxxxuixxxxx @bananamochidaisy @jungkook-er @acciofirewhiskey @bbtsficrecs @luv--you @jeonkoookiee @sweetonkookieandtae @mrcleanheichou @betysotelo18 @neverthefirstchoice @lllucere @parkethereal @tsundoku-world @investedreader @armys-dna​ 

[robinsvoid]

Its beginning to look alot ljme Christmas!!!! (shut up i know its october and i dont care)

Maya hawke x afab!reader decorating a christmas tree together :,)

𓏲⋆. love around the christmas tree

pairing. maya hawke x afab!reader

content warnings. tree decorating with maya! fluff. not proofread hehe

note. terribly sorry for the long wait!! ;-; i hope u like it <3

maya insists on going shopping at the local holiday store down the street of your shared apartment. she picks out some of the most ridiculous ones, that being a pickle with a santa hat and handsome squidward’s face dangling off of a blue string. she ends up showing it to you, a fit of giggles falling from her lips, as you shake your head at the goof you call your girlfriend. other times she’ll pick out nicer looking ones, cute ones like a tiny guitar for an ornament, or one that looks like a disco ball, and especially ones that have your favorite color on it. both of you spend about an hour shopping for ornaments, concluding that the two of you may have bought way too many for the tree. and on the walk back to the apartment she carries the bag so that she could use her free hand to stuff your intertwined hands into her coat’s pocket as the specks of fluttering snow fill the air.

boxes laid spread out in your living room, all labeled as ‘decorations’ and ‘lights.’ i feel like maya’s the type to put on some soft jazz or bossa nova, along with another playlist full of christmas classics while the two of you get to work, and with two mugs of hot chocolate, no doubt. she sings and hums softly as she decorates. the lights go up first. it was really all of maya’s doing, given she could reach up to wrap the wires around the tallest part of the trees. then you start with the ornaments next.

she joins in shortly after she entangles herself clumsily out of the end of the lights. she grins widely when you laugh at her; the sound of your voice, music to her ears. and she can’t help but steal kisses when you start to focus, calculating where certain ornaments go, how far apart they should be. it’s all endearing, everything you do. every movement. the way you looked so concentrated. she’ll shamelessly stare at you for a long time, occasionally moving closer to tuck longer strands of your hair behind your ear when they would get in the way. so pretty. she couldn’t help it, she just had to find a way to distract you for a bit.

and it’s by walking up behind you, arms wrapping around your waist, hands feeling your skin underneath your matching christmas sweater, kisses littering along the side of your neck. she would laugh when you scold her, telling her how you almost dropped an ornament, and god forbid, the handsome squidward one. she pecks your lips three times before pulling away to help out, grabbing a handful of decorations and sorting them neatly onto the tree.

the last mission was placing the the glowing star at the top of the tree and although you know maya could reach it if she tried just a little bit, but she claims she can’t. insisting that the only way to get it up there was if you sat on her shoulders. but you knew it was just an excuse to get your thighs wrapped around her head. you agreed anyway, while knowing she probably won’t be able to balance the two of you properly if it went on for a while. and luckily, you did it in one go. she pouts when you have to get off of her, but you fix it all with a kiss to her lips.

maya doesn’t forget to kiss you every now and then when you two continued decorating. little pecks on your cheeks. ones on the crown of your head. behind your ear. then she triples it the next time, one of them landing on your nose… more on your lips. it’s all she thinks of. you just look so pretty underneath all of the dim and colorful lights, hair tucked neatly behind your ear as you work, shimmying slightly in happiness as you listen to the music. it’s all she could ever want. spending christmas with her one and only. it was perfect. she couldn’t think of anyone else she would rather be spending the holidays with.

“i think we did a good job,” maya smiles into your neck, breathing in your scent, both of you gazing at your finished work like it was the best thing in the world as she hugs you tighter from behind, wrapping her unzipped jacket around you to keep you warm.

“yeah, i think squidward was a nice touch.”

✦ navigation. © ROBINSVOID

[omnidemidisaster]

Roy general and relationship headcanons

Cw: Mentions of sexual abuse, attachment issues, ptsd, and trauma

General Headcanons

□ Roy is questioning his romantic identity, he only knows he loves both genders and doesn't mind his partners gender. He thinks he might be omnisexual so thats the label he uses

■ Roy also is ftm and goes by he/him

□ Roy is very attached to Ross and Robert, him only feeling comfortable around them

■ Despite bullying Skid and Pump, he doesn't hate them. If anything, he likes them alot. He'll bully them but if someone decided to hurt them, he is about to throw hands

□ He secretly has a love for Japanese music ( Like babymetal, band maid, vocaloid music, reol, ect )

■ Time for the angst yaaay-

□ Roy has a fear of older men ever since the thing with his uncle

■ Like he has to have Ross and/or Robert by his side before he even thinks about willingly being nearby an older guy

□ He hates physical contact unless it's the hatzgang, skid and pump, or his mom

■ Speaking of his mom, his mom is pretty absent

□ She doesn't abuse him nor make him feel unsafe, but she's just absent all the time cause she's at work

■ But when she isn't working, she's actually a decently good mom

□ But he does wish his mom was more involved in his life, but he loves his mom and would rather have his mom the way she is then others

■ Juane and Radford try to care for Roy as their own whenever he's over by either of their houses

□ He's actually a really good artist and expresses his feelings and interests through art

■ Ross and Robert keep every little drawing and painting that Roy gives them

□ Roy really only cries when he's really really emotional

■ For example, Robert gifted him a chest binder once Roy came out to him and Ross. Roy saw the binder and began to start crying

□ ( I might actually make this bit a short fic )

■ Roy met Ross and Robert pre trans and when his name was "Luna"

□ When Roy came out, you bet your ass Ross and Robert backed him up and supported the shit out of him

■ Roy has a giant cow plushie ( Think of Sayori's giant cow plush ) and its one of his favorite things on earth

□ Roy is extremely snuggly and will cuddle up with Ross and Robert

■ He loves dancing and will encourage to dance with Ross and Robert for fun

□ Roy has sensory issues with sounds and keeps a pair of headphones to play music

■ His music playlist is full of female artists, he just finds women voices calming

□ He has pretty neat handwriting and he's shy about it

■ To be honest, he's shy to everyone who isn't someone he's familiar with

□ He loves my little pony comics and keeps a stack underneath his bed

■ As a kid, Roy usually kissed his friends on the cheek. He saw his mom do it to her friends as a greeting and as a goodbye thing, so he did the same

□ He doesn't do that all the time anymore, but he does kiss Ross and Robert on the cheek platonically

■ The two boys don't mind it, they like it actually. Its just how they express their love and care for each other

Dating Headcanons

○ Roy loves it when you tangle your fingers in his hair

● He knows his hair is super soft so go ahead

○ He isn't as mean to you, still mean but your special <3

● Roy will be little spoon thank you very much

○ Roy only trusts Ross and Robert around you

● He is already weary and protective over himself, so now you have a protective boyfriend

○ He understands it when you say "girl issues" and he offers to help you with something

● Roy likes putting his hat on you

○ If you give him your hoodie/shirt/sweater ect, he will treat that thing like treasure

● Like he cuddles with it at night. It just smells like you and it calms him down

○ Roy likes to casually make flirty comments, usually the kind where he says it and you have to take a second to process what he just said

● He likes to tell you stories and vice versa. If you like to talk about whatever for hours, he will listen

○ He likes listening to you talk

● He stands up for you whenever you're being bullied

○ His love language is gift giving and will give you his artwork

● He gers a little flustered when you give him something in return

○ He adores everything about you

● He might be a bully, but he can't help but swoon over someone like you

○ Kisses from boy are always on your cheek and lips

● During the winter, he loves holding your hand to warm you up

○ He loves it when you compliment him, especially if its masculine compliments. It makes him feel valid and happy

● Dw, you will of course get compliments too

○ He likes doing makeup on you, he thinks you look pretty

● Not saying he finds you ugly without makeup, but he definitely loves it when you wear a little bit of makeup, even if its just lipstick or eyeliner

○ Makeup or not, he loves you

● He has a thing where he gently nips your arm, usually during sleepovers and when the two of you are sleeping together

○ Like you'll be sleeping soundly, arms around Roy. And suddenly he softly bites your arms. He's unconscious so he doesn't understand he is doing this.

● He doesn't bite hard, just soft nips on your arm. He always feels bad when he finds your arms covered in light bite marks and will apologize profusely

[helliontherapscallion]

Memory Lane is a Desolate Place (The Ashes of Yourself Part 4)

Part 1     Part 2     Part 3

Spotify Playlist (collaborative)

Warnings: generational trauma, abandonment, neglect, mentions of the following: death, war, plague, famine, genocide

Word count: 2,536

(A/N): Wowza, a Philza-centric chapter! Ik this is a lot shorter than what I usually write for this series, but I’m just trying to ease myself back into this story. I have a lot planned for this, so stay tuned : )

Philza walked through the tundra towards his old household. For the past few weeks, he had slowly been cleaning up the outside area and the interior for the upcoming family reunion. The house, due to nobody living in it, had slowly become overgrown with various weeds and wildlife. He had previously been looking forward to the reunion, ecstatic to see his entire family in one place again, but now he wasn’t so certain that his previous excitement was still there.

Over his many centuries of life on this world, he had seen some truly disturbing things; including genocides that left many children without families, wars that ended in mutually assured destruction, famine that reduced many to skin and bones, great nations once prosperous and grand becoming mere ashes beneath his feet in the matter of days, and plague that ravaged entire populations. 

He had learned to ignore them as they passed, as they never affected him. Hardship was always present; time was akin to an arrow slicing through the air at mach speed, never stopping for anybody. To him, it was better to ignore than to be roped into something you couldn’t fix even if you tried. Those memories were shoved into the deepest, darkest corners of his mind only resurfacing against his will in the form of horrific, detailed nightmares. 

However, those memories were different. Those were never personal. 

The entire time he was walking, the sight of his youngest child’s charred body sinking into the deepest depths of the ocean plagued his mind. The memory was rooted into his mind, being seen in every waking second against his will. His feet led him inside on their own, his mind blank and his body feeling numb; it felt like he was dreaming with how much his subconscious was taking over. 

By the time he fully came to his senses, he was standing in front of (y/n)’s closed door. Just like his children’s other doors, their door was labeled with ‘(y/n)’ written in a child’s sloppy handwriting and splotched with random colors of paint. He could remember sitting with them when he first brought them home and telling them to choose their room and holding them up so that they could reach the door. 

“Alright, you get to choose your own room!” 

The young blaze hybrid paused for a moment in concentration, trying to decipher what he had told them. They hadn’t spoken much English at the time, blaze being the only language they could speak. Luckily, Philza had experience with children not knowing much English; Technoblade had been the same way. After some simpler phrases and a small game of charades, they finally understood what he was telling them. Their eyes lit up and they bounced on the balls of their feet excitedly, making him chuckle. 

In an instant, they zoomed down the hallway looking at the decorated doors as they passed. The names on the doors were indecipherable to them, merely chicken scratch compared to the calligraphy that they were used to seeing etched into nether brick. Not that they could read that either, the language was far too complex for a seven year old to understand. 

Finally, after Philza caught up to them and showed them the rooms that were open, they had chosen an empty room without a second thought.

“Good choice, kiddo,” Philza beamed, his hand going to ruffle their hair. He hesitated, feeling the unnatural heat resonating from their flaming head before slowly coming to a rest on top of their head. Surprisingly, the flames merely tickled his hand as they flickered about. The heat was pleasantly comfortable, warming up his cold hand in an instant. A strange, weak magical energy made his entire arm tingle almost to an uncomfortable amount. It felt as if he had just touched something packed with static electricity. 

They looked up at him with innocent eyes, silently pointing to another door in question. Philza followed their finger and saw that the door belonged to Wilbur, his name being painted in slightly messy spaced out lettering with small music notes surrounding it. Philza’s eyes furrowed before he came to the realization that they wanted to paint their door as well. 

His mouth formed an ‘o’ shape before he leaned down to grab their hand and lead them to the kitchen where he had written out the name ‘(y/n)’. It was the name that was shakily etched onto a slightly burnt paper and given to him by the kid themselves when he was walking through a nether fortress earlier that day. Strangely, they were the only inhabitant of the fortress, not even a wither skeleton roamed the twisting halls. The anonymous note, albeit a little difficult to understand (as if the writer themselves hardly spoke any English), begged whomever came across the child to take them in. So Philza, being the type to never leave a child in need, took them in. 

He sat next to them at the table and handed them a pencil. On his own piece of paper, he wrote out his own name, said it aloud, and pointed to himself multiple times. The child understood and shakily wrote out their name slowly, mimicking what Philza had written on their paper. This slightly shocked the winged man, he wasn’t expecting them to catch on this quickly. Not even Technoblade had caught on that quickly. 

“You’re… a really fast learner, kiddo.” He breathed out with a proud smile on his face. The child, not understanding exactly what he had said, saw his smile and matched it with their own bright one, their face lighting up in a brilliant orange. He felt his heart melt at the sight. 

He gathered some paint and paint brushes and led them back up to their chosen room. (Y/n) trailed after him closely, almost bumping into him when he suddenly stopped in front of their room. He lifted them up with one hand and held the palette with the other. The small child in his arm grabbed a paint brush and looked up at him hesitantly. 

He gave them an encouraging smile and nodded at the door, telling them to write their name and demonstrating by stroking a clean brush against the door. They understood, gently swiping their brush against the wood with their tongue poked out of the corner of their mouth and their brows furrowed in deep concentration. Soon enough, their name was sprawled out in dripping, brightly colored paint. They looked up at Philza for approval, and upon seeing his large smile and warm eyes, they looked back at their creation with pride. Their eyes flicked between Wilbur’s door and theirs, something was missing. 

Their eyes lit up in realization before they suddenly stuck their hand into the paints on the palette. A startled gasp left Philza’s mouth as his grip tightened on both the child and the paints. Before he could stop them, they had smacked their paint covered hand onto the door underneath their name. Paint splattered everywhere, splashing onto their body and his arms and face. He felt them jolt in surprise and felt the slight vibration of a blaze-like grunt rumble their chest. 

Despite the mess that it left and the fact that he’d have to clean it up, small chuckles left him before he broke out into full blown laughter. This had been the hardest he had laughed in years, the feeling being almost foreign to him. (Y/n) joined him in his laughter, the sound of their joyed, high pitched giggles being music to his ears. 

The two spent the rest of the afternoon decorating the door with small splatters and handprints. By the time they had stopped, Philza had drying paint splotches on almost every part of his exposed skin, hair, and feathers and (y/n)’s small hands were layered with colors and paint was similarly splattered on their body. 

Philza pressed his hand against the much smaller handprint on the door and sighed at the memory, his face stretched into a small smile. They had been so innocent back then, their eyes full of hope and naivety, their face not having a single mark on it. 

His hand dropped and the smile was wiped clean from his face as he remembered why his clothes were wet and his skin reddened with the unforgiving temperature of the tundra. He shook his head from side to side and squeezed his eyes shut, trying and failing to block out the memory of (y/n) laying scorched on the sandy beach struggling to gasp for the oxygen they were deprived of. 

He opened his eyes and forced himself away from the door, instead walking towards the bathroom and running hot water to warm up his shivering body. 

The shower was usually a place where he could sort out his thoughts and fully relax, however he was tense the entire time and his thoughts stung him like he was haphazardly tossed into a nettle bush. Once clean and warmed up, he stepped out and put on a dry set of clothes. To get his mind off from things, he quickly busied himself with housework. 

That, however, did nothing to distract him from today’s events and the scalding argument that he and (y/n) had. Their words had initially angered him, had he not given them everything they needed to survive? Why couldn’t they understand that he had a constant craving for freedom and adventure that was impossible to ignore? 

A mix of emotions poked and prodded at his brain as he contemplated the end of their argument. Their angry voice echoed in his head:

“You don’t know jackshit about me.” 

His mind flashed back to the shock and panic he had felt when they nonchalantly stuck their hand into the crackling fire. He had forgotten that they could heal themselves with fire; hell, he had forgotten that they were basically fireproof. He quickly came to the realization that he couldn’t remember a lot of things about them. 

“Do you have any idea how much you were gone from my life when I needed you the most?”

He wasn’t stupid, he knew he had missed a lot of their life. Every time he had gotten back from a journey, something about each of his children had always changed and significant milestones had long since passed. He had missed a lot of each of their lives, there was a lot that he didn’t know about them. “I’ll be there next time,” he had wove off a peeved Wilbur when the boy had confronted him about missing Tommy’s second birthday with the family. It wasn’t like he was lying to the older boy, no he fully intended to be there for each and every single milestone his children experienced. However, something always came up and he missed each and every single one. It was easy to make promises, yet it was increasingly difficult to uphold them.

“Wilbur was the one that raised Tommy and I while you were so focused on Techno and your stupid fucking adventures.”

Oh, Wilbur. His only biological child. The boy that had looked at both Tommy and (y/n) with such awe when they first were adopted. The boy that would defend and protect his family with his life. The boy that had once idolized him. The boy that he had left alone with his two youngest. The boy that dreamt of his own nation ambitiously. The boy that begged to die at the hands of his own father. The boy that he had plunged his sword through. 

He had never thanked him or even recognized him for the hard work that came with raising two preteens on his own starting at the ripe age of sixteen. His stomach lurched at the memory of his son falling limp in his arms. 

Technoblade had been his first son. Adopted or not, he loved him as if he were his own. The second he had allowed the piglin hybrid into his lonely household, it was like the curtains had been ripped open and light immediately spilled into the darkness that had shrouded his heart and mind. Once he was old enough, he had made an excellent sparring and adventuring partner. 

He supposed that Technoblade had been placed on a pedestal, but in his opinion, he deserved all the praise he had been given. He had learned to ignore the multitude of voices that danced around his mind deafeningly. He had learned and became completely fluent in another language within the span of two years. 

Philza paused as he realized just what he was thinking. Maybe (y/n) was right, maybe he did focus a little too much on Technoblade while they were growing up. 

But on the other hand, Technoblade was a gifted child in the art of battle. 

However, his other children were important as well. 

His thoughts constantly contradict themselves and come full circle repeatedly, being swirled around and bouncing off the sides of his skull. Oh, he despised how much of a whirlpool his thoughts were. 

“You were a shitty father.” 

Was he a shitty father? His mind strained back hundreds of years to his own father and the last words he had left him with. The memories of his parents were incredibly fuzzy, he couldn’t even remember their faces or voices even if he tried with all his might. He could only remember specific details about them. His father was always absent and exploring the globe while his mother stayed at home raising him. 

He could remember how terrified he was when everyone around him aged and he stayed the same. His mother (bless her soul) had passed leaving him home alone distraught on what he should do and angry at the fact that his father wasn’t there. Months had passed since her funeral and Philza hadn’t even heard from him, filling the immortal with blinding rage. When his father had finally come home with the strong scent of sweat and body odor, he had finally let loose what had been brewing in his mind. 

“You’re a shitty fucking father and an even shittier husband,” he remembered saying, “she died and you weren’t fucking there.” 

It was after that he had left the old man and his childhood home behind in favor of exploring the world. He wanted to see what was so alluring that his father was compelled to miss a majority of his life. After a while of aimlessly wandering and uncovering many treasures, mysteries, and friendships, he had quickly become hooked. It had become a coping mechanism of sorts; a distraction from the death’s shadow following his friends but never him. 

He felt as if he plunged through ice and into the freezing inky abyss below as he came to a horrifying realization: he was the person that he hated the most, the person he swore he’d never become when he first laid eyes upon Technoblade. He was exactly like his father.

Memory lane is a desolate place that he’s neglected for good reason, and now it was overgrown with unpleasant memories that forced him to realize who he’s become.

General taglist (comment if you want to be added):

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Gender neutral reader taglist (comment if you want to be added):

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SBI taglist (comment if you want to be added):

@afifaj

Series taglist (comment if you want to be added):

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[harryskalechips]

one and done Part 3

A/N Hey guys so sorry for a late update but here we are!!!! The last part of the series! I really enjoyed writing this one and I hope you guys enjoyed as well! Let me know what you guys think please and also also also thank you for reading!🥰🥰🥰

Side note: I’ll come back and edit my brain hurts

Harry is engaged and having a baby but Y/N is just his best friend’s little sister.

Today’s warning: We are anticipating some heavy smut in this last part. Please prepare for a spitting, spanking, choking, and hair pulling kink, Male receives oral, unprotected sex and just shit like that y’know? I think there is begging in here too LOL OMG they almost had sex outside again but that’s just so inappropriate but yeah... I think that’s all. Oh yes, Y/N rides and just loves being a horny mess hehehe

Word Count: 11k // Masterlist // one and done PLAYLIST /  Part 1 / Part 2

 If there was one thing Y/N was excited about… it was her last summer of high school. As she reflected on her junior year, she was happy Harry and her were finally in a place where she could just reach out to him and be comfortable. Although they didn’t have labels, it was the last thing on their minds as they spent most of their free time together away from Ryan and any other nosy classmate of theirs. Harry also spoke about long roadtrips. Despite him staying home for college, he was excited to drive his girl to different campuses and check out new destination sites around the many different cities. 

They were optimistic they would stay together in the summer yet here they are spending it apart. 

Y/N was in her bedroom sitting on the floor wearing Harry’s sweater as she was staring at the pile of scattered clothes on the floor. It was July 6th and even after a month of grieving for her broken heart, she managed to still wear her ex’s sweater… only because it was the sole object that made her feel like what they had was real. 

They were so on and off throughout the year and the one time they managed to stick together, it was all washed away. Too many signs telling them they were not meant to be. 

But that’s the truth. Y/N thinks to herself as she wipes away a new coming tear falling down her face. Harry and her are not the cliché plot of dating your brother’s best friend. Their relationship was based on lust and ended with unrequited feelings. They are not soulmates. Y/N rests her head against the back of her bed. No matter how much you try to fight it, if you are not meant to be… that’s it. 

“Are you okay?” Ryan stops by her doorway with a plate of late dinner. He was also blatantly oblivious to the fact his little sister was wearing a sweater of his best friend’s. 

“Yeah, why do you ask?” She stares at him with an unamused expression on her face. Her room was a mess, her head was in places where it shouldn’t be and her heart just felt broken. 

“You’ve been in a pissed off mood since last month.” he genuinely states as he walks into his little sister’s room. Maybe before he wouldn’t bother to ask Y/N how she was but the truth is, he is leaving soon and he’s a bit worried with the way Y/N has been taking care of herself. 

“Is it that obvious?” Y/N sarcastically laughs as she throws some clothes away for Ryan to sit on her bed. He places his plate on her desk and takes her offer as he looks around the floor. 

“You haven’t left the house nor have I seen Ness around.”

“I haven’t really been speaking to her.”

“Oh so you guys fought?”

“No, we didn’t. I just haven’t really been feeling social.”

“Y/N, you know you can talk to me right?”

“I know.” Y/N bites the inside of her cheek knowing full well that she’s lying. 

“Will you be coming to the party tomorrow night?” Oh, that’s right. It’s Harry and Carla’s engagement party. 

“That’s why I’m cleaning out my closet.” Ryan laughs a bit as he stands up and pats her head. 

“You don’t have to impress anyone. You’re not the one getting married.” Y/N feels her throat tighten a bit as she watches him leave her room with his plate. She lets out a sigh before rubbing her face in frustration. If she had the choice, she wouldn’t go but that would also show Harry that she cares more than he thinks. It’s been a month and she had to prove that she was over him and over the deal. 

After a couple hours of sulking on her bedroom floor, she finally stands up and takes off his sweater. In the corner of her room is a cardboard box of clothes that were to be packed away and stored in the attic. Without hesitation, she throws the piece of clothing and carries on with her night. 

~

“Y/N, you look beautiful sweetheart.” Her mom waits for her at the bottom of the stairs. The sun was just about to set and it was also time for their family to drive to Carla’s home for the party everyone has been anticipating. 

“Thank you.” Y/N musters a smile as she glances at herself in the mirror one more time before heading out to the car. Her mom was honestly surprised her daughter was all dressed up for the party tonight, there was something off about her but today, it felt like she had a piece of her daughter back again. Saying nothing out loud, she locks the front door and walks with the young girl towards the vehicle.

 Truth be told last night before Y/N fell asleep, she knew today would be her biggest performance. All she knew is that she couldn’t wait for this day to end so she can go back and hide in her room. 

“Hey mate.” Harry smirks as he offers a hug to Ryan. The party had just begun and Harry waited outside the house to wait for his best man to arrive. He was shitting his pants at the moment and the only thing that would make him feel a bit more comfortable at his own party is if Ryan was by his side -like the usual. 

“I can’t believe you’re getting married, Haz.” Ryan tries to hide his disappointment in front of his family. Y/N and her parents stood behind him waiting for the duo to greet each other first. “I thought we would enjoy our bachelor era a bit you know… longer.” Harry tries to laugh as he makes eye contact with the pretty girl. Once the two pull away, he awkwardly laughs and greets Ryan’s parents. 

“Carla is it for me man.” Harry tucks his hands inside the pockets of his trousers. “We’ve been together since grade school, I guess it’s time I tie her down to me forever.” Y/N’s mom laughs and pats his shoulder. The five began to walk to the backyard as she spoke up.

“Forget Ryan, I think you two make a lovely couple and are honest soulmates.” Harry glances at her and flashes a small smile. He thought having Ryan here would make him feel more comfortable but there was only one thought that was processing in his head as they walked the stoned pathway. 

This engagement made him feel ten thousand times much worse knowing his in-law family wouldn’t be Ryan’s because the truth is there wouldn’t be anything much better than to have Y/N and Ryan’s parents as his too. 

“Hi.” Carla approaches them with a warm smile on her face. The nude slim dress was impressive on her, especially as it made the diamond on her finger stand out more. She casually wraps her arm around Harry's waist as she takes a sip of the mango smoothie in her other hand. Although the smile on her face seemed genuine, Y/N wanted nothing more than to punch the girl’s face. If Harry was a jealous asshole, Y/N was much worse. Keep it together Y/N, please you don’t care. You don’t care. 

That was the whole idea for the night anyway. Y/N has barely spoken a word since her father parked the car on the side of the road. She was even the last one to exit the vehicle because in all honesty, she didn’t want to unbuckle her seatbelt. Now, She stands beside her dad once again, shying away from the hosts of the party. Although her mom made her feel beautiful today, there was nothing more than to stand in front of the prettiest girl who has constantly been chosen over her. 

“Thank you guys for coming. I’m so happy to meet you all.” Carla smiles as she turns her attention on Harry. She was happy and excited about their future. This whole night felt like a fever dream. Once more she looks at Ryan’s family and speaks up. “There’s a table for your family and dinner will be served out soon. I hope you guys enjoy” She rests her head on her fiancé but notices Y/N staring at her heels. “Are you okay Y/N? You seem a bit off.” And that statement was coming from a concerned person who was genuinely curious if the acquainted junior she got to know this year was alright. Y/N gulps as she makes eye contact with Carla. She was also very careful not to look at Harry. 

“Ignore her. She’s been like that for a couple of weeks.” Ryan laughs as he turns around and glances at his sister. “This is your night but I still am wondering why you guys are getting married next month.”

Carla awkwardly smiles and waits for Harry to respond first yet she notices his eyes stay focused on his best friend’s little sister. “We just thought we should get the wedding out of the way before university starts.” Carla squeezes his palm for him to reply to. 

“Don’t worry Ryan. I’m sure we’ll do everything we planned to do.” Harry smirks as he turns his back around to the music that just started to play. “Let’s walk you guys to your table, I believe the party is just about to actually begin.”

/

Throughout the night, Y/N did nothing more than fake a smile and applaud as speakers came to the mic and talked about Carla and Harry’s relationship. Blah blah blah. It was the same old thing really, and if she had the choice deep inside, she would wish she was the one sitting beside Harry talking about other things. 

Dessert was finally available and due to the lack of activities and entertainment this party has brought to her, she waited until the line died down before she could carry her plate towards the table. She internally sighed as some of the choices were gone, leaving her to pick up a red velvet cupcake and two french macaroons on the side. Once she arrived back to her seat, her family that stayed back continued to talk about the two lovebirds. Her father and Ryan seemed to be having an amusing conversation as her mother made a new friend from the table beside them. Compliments after compliments was the only topic tonight, she really needed to take a walk around the unfamiliar neighbourhood after this. 

“Guys, I’m just going inside to use the bathroom.” Her mom nods and acknowledges Y/N’s statement before turning her back once more to talk to another attendee of the party. Grabbing her purse, she excuses herself from the table and shyly walks around the party and towards the sliding door. Once she’s inside the home however, she ignores all the signs that gesture her towards the bathroom and instead makes her way to the front door. Carla’s home was pretty but not enough for her to stay.

“That’s not the washroom.” Harry speaks out as he walks down the staircase re-adjusting the sleeves of his polo. She realized the navy blue blazer he was wearing earlier today was now resting on the ottoman by the end of the railing. 

“I was actually going to go on a walk.” She fixes her gaze on the painting in front of her instead of the boy casually making his way down. 

“It’s a bit late, d-don’t you think.” He scratches his nose and picks up the article of clothing on the chair. He couldn’t help but stutter as his eyes followed the pink dress on the pretty girl. 

“The neighbourhood seems really nice and I’m sure none of the rich families here are going to kidnap me and lock me in their basement.”

“Here.” She notices him walk towards her offering his blazer. “I would invite myself to walk with you but uh I think people would notice.” He rubs his palm against his neck and looks back at the door where the party is. 

“It’s okay.” She shakes her head as she rejects his considerate offer. She continues to unlock the door before looking back at him. “I’ll be back soon. Ryan and my parents think I’m in the washroom.  So if they ask, just say you don’t know. Congratulations, by the way.” She gives him a sad smile and walks out the door. He’s left speechless as he finally realizes this might be the last time things will be normal between them. “Fuck it.” He murmurs to himself as he rests the blazer behind his back and walks out the front door as well.  

“Why are you following me?’ Y/N turns around carefully as she crosses her arms over her chest to keep herself warm. She was also trying very hard not to fall. Harry’s been distracting her all night, she didn’t realize she was wearing heels despite her goal to go on a night walk. 

“Because I can’t let you walk around this neighbourhood by yourself!” Harry raises his voice as he tries to catch up with her. “God, I told you, you would need this.” He thoughtlessly puts the blazers over her shoulders as they walk down the slope. 

“I promise you, I am not your responsibility anymore. You don’t have to be concerned about my whereabouts.” Y/N murmurs as she accepts the fabric and hugs it around her frame. Harry couldn’t help but look away from her as he heard that statement. Before everything went crumbling down, he used to pick her up and know every update from her. He used to watch out for her and just be there for her but even now, it was no longer okay. 

“Who’s going to watch over you when I’m gone.” His voice is a bit more quieter now as they exit Carla’s neighbourhood. 

“I don’t know. I always expected you were going to stay.” She glances at him before walking ahead of him. 

“I know you’re mad and I’m sorry I had to put you through a lot.” He pulls her wrist to make her stop walking. 

“How can I not be mad, Harry?” She closes her eyes, trying to not let the new formed tears in her eyes show. “You constantly choose Carla and the moment you finally break up with her. I get you and then you what… ghost me, break up with me? I don’t hear from you for 2 months only to find out you’re engaged! Fuck you.” She quickly wipes away a tear from her face. “God, I- You cheated on me! Didn’t you?”

“Y/N.” His heart beat drops as her voice raises. Never in his life has he seen Y/N this upset. 

“No. It makes sense. Carla is barely even showing yet. It’s been three months and you…” She steps away from him and looks around. “I don’t know -you didn’t even have the audacity to tell me you don’t like me anymore.”

“I didn’t know how to react when you told me that.” 

“Well you did.. You ignored my calls and continued to see Ryan.” She shrugs her shoulders and sarcastically laughs. “It’s fine. Now that I think about it, maybe I said it in the heat of the moment.”

“I know I messed up.” He bites his lip and runs his hand through his hair. “I don’t know why I reacted like that. Carla has always been so familiar to me… and with you, I don’t think I’ve ever felt like this before.”

“Like what?” The monotone question rolls off the tip of her tongue.

“The fear I guess. I’m scared of losing Ryan, your family and um, you.” He clears his throat. “It’s just there’s so much on the line when it comes to you and me. Maybe if I tried harder, we wouldn’t be here right now but we are.” 

“Well if it makes you feel better,” She takes a pause and stares directly at him. “I didn’t really mean what I said that day. You freaked out on something that was a typical post orgasm statement.” She lies. 

“Why are you lying?” He shakes his head in disappointment. “Why are you trying to hurt me? You think this hasn’t been difficult enough.”

“No, I’m not lying. It’s true.” She attempts to walk again but his hand grabs her immediately letting her know, their conversation is not over. 

“So you’re saying you don’t love me.”

“No, I don’t love you.”

“Bullshit!”

“Harry, I don’t even owe you an explanation!” and sometimes when you force yourself to lie too much, you begin to cry. “Fuck.” He immediately hugs her as she cries on his shoulder. “I don’t think we should do this.”

“I could never leave you alone, you know that right?” He whispers in her ear as he wraps his arms tighter around her frame. 

“You have to. We can’t do this.” Y/N repeats herself as she tries to pull away. His scent is just so fucking intoxicating. It was his scent that made her drastically attached to him and now she knew like from the start, it was time to go. 

“If my wishes came true, it would’ve been you.” He tries to keep her in his embrace. He was rambling at this point but he had no idea what his goal was. Is he trying to persuade her to stay or to let her go? 

“You made your choices, Harry. All you have to do is lie in it.” She pulls away and wipes away her tears. “We’re just these high schoolers that found a loophole in our deal. Carla though, she has always been the one for you.” 

“You’re right though. I- I guess I always choose her in the end.”

“Make her happy H.” She gives a sad smile and shrugs her shoulders. Despite wanting to punch her face, Y/N knew the look in her eyes as she watched Harry. Carla was always madly in love with him and forever will be. 

Harry and Y/N were just a glitch in the system. 

“I hope I see you again. Maybe Christmas huh?” He looks down at his shoes as the girl gives him back his blazer. 

“Maybe Christmas.” And without a word, Y/N walks back to the house leaving Harry to walk around the neighbourhood himself. 

-

Harry and Carla had just gotten married and on the night of their reception, they announced their pregnancy. Y/N was there. She witnessed the smile on Ryan’s face, on her parents’ face and on Harry’s. Everyone was happy except for her.  

The night left her to play with the food on her plate as it was her only source of entertainment. Broccoli grouped with the carrots suddenly being grouped with the steak. How about we make a snowman? To be honest, moping a bit too much at the event left her clueless to the fact the groom has been watching her all night. 

It wasn’t a choice for him. Of course, he looked at other guests and spoke to Carla throughout the night but for some reason as he mindlessly ate his food and restated his vows to his wife, Y/N was the only thing his eyes could focus on. He’s been looking for her face in every room for a year and to be exact, nothing about his feelings has changed -Except tonight was the last day, he would ever feel like this again. 

There were only three rules Harry gave himself tonight.

Rule 1: Don’t try and make conversation with Y/N.

Rule 2: Don’t beat the guy who offers her a dance.

Last but not least, Rule 3: Don’t tell her you love her.

And it was a success because he watched her walk out with an unfamiliar guy and come back with a flushed neck and red cheeks. He knew she totally got fucked in the washroom and all he did was take a sip of his glass as the fist on his lap began to form once again. 

/

It’s been a week since and her whole house is a mess. She has been currently helping her brother move his things to the moving truck they rented. Her little grieving process was cut short due to the fact, things around her started to change so quickly. Ryan was on his way out of here. Harry and Carla were probably on an island, trying to make another sub baby and Ness started to come by more often. 

The thing about her best friend is that Nessa understands space but she won’t let Y/N peacefully sulk for more than a month. To successfully distract her, the duo have been taking road trips around the cities and visiting different campuses together. Although it was an old plan of her and Harry’s, Y/N couldn’t help but feel delighted to have Ness back once again. 

She cleaned out her room and removed all her old soccer trophies because for some odd reason, they reminded her of Harry. She even went to the measures of blocking his number and deleting pictures from their past dates off her phone. 

She knew she wasn’t ready to let him go but he was now married, living in a new city with his own family. There was no other choice but to forget this shit happened. 

Senior year was just about to begin for Y/N and if there was one thing she needed, it was a fresh start. No love interests, no heartbreaks. Just fun experiences before she leaves this hell hole.

After all, if you never bleed, you’re never going to grow.

~

3 years later…

“You’re going to be fucking late.” Ness throws a pillow at her best friend as she enters the room. “You have that plane to catch.” 

“Fuck, what time is it.” Y/N murmurs as she could feel some drool on her pillow case.

“10:30.”

“Fuck!” She sits up immediately and grabs her phone.  Her flight is leaving in an hour and God knows the traffic in Seattle. “Why didn’t you wake me up sooner!” 

“Because your lazy ass wouldn’t wake up.” Ness walks out of the room and drinks her coffee. She was totally unfazed about her best friend panicking. “Relax.” Y/N gives her a death glare in return  as she brushes her teeth in the kitchen. The two were very used to each other since they’ve not only been best friends for a long time but also roommates after moving to a new city. 

“My brother’s wedding is in two days and I’m not even there yet.” 

“Tell Ryan to choke for not inviting me, by the way.” Ness scrolls though the news feed on her phone as she casually bites into her bagel. 

“Okay, I think I have everything.” Y/N walks out of her room in tights and an oversized sweater. “I really have to go.”

“You’re going to see him again, you know that right?” Ness really didn’t want to be the one to bring him up again but shit, Y/N looked like a dead zombie. 

“It’s fine.” Y/N shrugs her shoulders. She couldn’t care less if she sees Harry again. “The last time I saw him, Carla and him were acting like total love birds at my mom and dad’s thanksgiving party.”

“That was like two years ago.” Ness tries to contain her laugh as she remembers their new pet names. Honey bunny and sweet treat. Oh to be in the honeymoon phase once again. 

“Don’t think I forgot what you used to call Tom.” Y/N laughs as she rolls her luggage to the door.

“Shut up.” Nessa’s eyes widen as she throws a crumb at her. “That’s why I broke up with him.”

“Yeah, yeah. You better answer my call okay?” 

“Yes babe, I know. I love you, take care!” 

“Bye!” 

And after the long haul of successfully boarding the plane, Y/N had five hours before she could finally see Ryan and his soon to be bride in Boston.

 She was definitely nervous. The last wedding she attended was Harry’s and she knew full well how she badly coped with that. Not to mention how she calculated her schedule so she could “accidently” miss Ryan’s engagement party. Truth is, she doesn’t care about Harry but if there was any way she could try and dodge another awkward encounter...that’s what living in another city is for. 

He also wasn’t really an ex but just a person in her life who managed to make her happy and sad at the same time. James had no idea who he was since she believed it was best to make that portion of her adolescence a secret. Just buried along with the other dreams she used to have. 

After watching two movies and playing a random phone game, the plane finally landed. Y/N managed to brush her teeth and make herself look a bit more presentable after a heated run out of her apartment. Once she was at the pick up centre to grab her luggage, her heart beat began to increase signaling that she failed to neutralize her anxiety. Beads of sweat began to form on her forehead as she walked past the crowd of people. There was a constant voice in her head screaming at her to tell Ryan her flight just got cancelled. Unfortunately, Ryan was on time as she could picture his figure right outside the window of the airport.

 “Hey.” Ryan smiles as he gives his little sister a hug. He saw her a couple months ago but time still makes everything different. He’s happy his sister is finally here.

“Hi.” Y/N tucks a piece of hair behind her ear as the wind blows by them. “I see you got a nice haircut.” 

“I did.” Ryan laughs as he carries his sister’s suitcase into his trunk. 

“I can’t believe you’re getting married Ry! I swear to god, it was only yesterday you were complaining to Harry about his wedding.” Y/N squints her eyes due to the sun shining directly at her. She uses her hand to cover the side of her face as she lets out a joke,“Are you sure about her?”

“Meghan? Absolutely.” Ryan shuts the door as they stand there. “ I didn’t know what Haz was talking about when he told me he wanted to marry Carla but shit, when I met Meghan… I-”

“You’re whipped more than ever.” She smiles as she notices her brother’s cheeks flush. She tried to change the topic immediately after her brother said his name. “I knew Cassidy wasn’t the one.”

“Sure you did.” Ryan rolls his eyes as they sit in his car. “How about you? Any new updates?” 

“No not really.” Y/N shrugs her shoulders as she puts on her seatbelt. “James and I have been together for a year now which is crazy-”

“I wish the guy could have come to the wedding, didn’t know how serious you guys were.” 

“Honestly, if he didn’t have that internship at the hospital, I would’ve tried and persuaded him some more.”

“It’s okay.” Ryan laughs as he shakes his head. “Meghan found you a date already and I’m sure you’re going to be okay with it.” Y/N eyes widen. 

“I was going to go stag.” She looks out the window in disbelief. It wasn’t her fault, her boyfriend was trying to get into medical school.

“Don’t worry sis. It’s a platonic date -that’s all it is going to be.” Ryan reassures her as he drives out of the parking lot.

“Let me tell James. Just in case, he might get jealous.” She pulls out her phone. “Who is this guy anyway?” 

“I’m not telling you but who knows, James might fly over here just so you don’t go with a random guy.” Ryan smirks as he exits the highway. 

“Who is he?”

“It’s a surprise.” Ryan tries to hide his laugh. 

“Does he know you’re setting me up with him.”

“Please.” Her brother scoffs. “The guy is always too nice, he offered first.”

“Well, shit then.” 

“You’ll get to know him before the wedding I promise. At least, you have company other than mom and dad.” 

“So you’re going to let a random guy just sit at our table?” 

“You have no idea.” And truth be told, Y/N wasn’t worried about the date Ryan and Meghan set up for her. Maybe it was one of Meghan’s family members who thought she was still single. It didn’t matter though because this event was for her brother and that’s all that was important. 

“Oh my god!” Ryan and Y/N’s mother stood outside the house waiting at the driveway for them to arrive. 

“Hi mom!” Y/N gives her a warm hug. “I missed you, where’s dad?”

“He’s inside with-”

“Y/N.” Y/N’s dad steps through the doorframe and meets Y/N at the steps for a hug as well. She knew her father couldn’t walk that much due to his recent hip surgery. What she didn't expect however, was for Harry to be following right behind him. “I missed you darling.”

 “Hi dad I missed you more, I didn’t know Harry was here.” Y/N backs away and turns her back to look at Ryan. He didn’t seem surprised at all as he carried her luggage towards them.

“Hey.” Harry offers a small wave, seeming too quiet. He kept his hands behind his back as he observed the girl in front of him. It’s been two years and a lot has changed. Y/N thought he would still have his long hair yet it is very evident, he had a haircut as well. He also seemed much more muscular as well as the new addition of tattoos on his arm. While she stared at him, she didn’t realize Harry was noticing all the different features she had too. Her hair was longer and darker and she carried a different aura than before. She didn't look like the girl whose bedroom he used to sneak into. 

“Hi Harry.” Y/N didn’t know how to start a conversation with him. 

“I guess you met your date.” Ryan walks ahead of them and laughs as he continues to bring in the bags. 

“Harry's my date?” Y/N asks in shock as she follows him behind. Her mom slaps her arm as Harry and their dad follow. 

“Don’t act offended, You’ve known Harry since you were a kid.” 

“Aren’t you married though.” Y/N turns her back and looks at Harry before facing the front again as she suddenly became distracted by the house’s decorations. 

“I actually got divorced.” Harry bites his tongue right after. 

“See, now look what you did. You embarrassed the young boy.” Y/N’s mom rubs his back as she murmurs to him. “I’m sorry, Haz.” 

“Oh, it’s okay.” He shakes his head, trying to act as if the topic didn’t make him feel uncomfortable.  

“I’m sorry too.” Y/N finally looks at him once more. “I had no idea.”

“It’s been a year. That’s what happens when you marry too young.” He laughed it off but everyone ignored that statement as they all knew there was a deeper cut in his heart.

When Carla was around 5 months, she had a miscarriage and although, they claimed they would try again… there was no new announcement after that. 

“Y/N, this is your room.” Ryan tries to change the topic as he scratches his head. 

“Thank you.” She steps inside for a bit of privacy after a long flight. Ryan and Harry along with her parents went back to the living room to go and continue their movie.  

~

Today is Ryan’s wedding and the house was giving her many little flashbacks of Harry’s. The family was in this foreign home and was still running around getting ready. Her mother was screaming at her dad as he decided last minute to steam his suit. Ryan and Meghan were gone which left Harry and Y/N the only victims to her mother’s loudness. The two kept quiet as her mother ran around the house doing her hair and calling relatives for updates. Y/N managed to be ready on time so it let her sit on the couch looking at the photos in which mehgan has framed around the room. 

“Your dad said I should drive you to the venue now. I think they’re definitely running late.” Harry speaks up after two days of ignoring her. The truth is last night when he went to the kitchen he saw Y/N sitting down on one of the counters and maybe if it was three years ago, he would’ve spoken to her but something about now told him to go back to his bedroom. He used to feel comfortable around her but now he’s walking around her as if he was on eggshells. He was so fucking nervous. 

“Okay.” She agrees with him. Harry was the best man and she didn’t want him to be late because of her parents. Y/N puts her phone in the purse resting on her shoulder as she follows him out of the house. She would’ve been a bit more calm if she didn’t end her call with James midway through their fight. 

“Um A-Are you okay?” He opens the door for her as he tries not to check her out. It was definitely difficult however as the way her long hair was styled and the pretty dress she wore. Luckily for Y/N, while Harry was doing some errands at home, she managed to “observe” him in his suit.

“Yeah, I’m good.” She lets out a small smile as she realizes Harry was still driving his car back from high school. You know the vehicle they had sex i- 

“Alright.” The man breaks her out of the thought as he starts the car. “I promise tonight isn’t going to be weird around us.” 

“Who said it was?”

“I don’t know I guess I just assumed.” He bites his cheek as he glances at her. That’s when the déjà vu hits and he feels like he’s eighteen years old again. She keeps her eyes on the road yet she had no idea that Harry was picturing her seventeen year old self sitting in the seat beside him. One of his favourite memories to be exact. 

Flashback*

 “So you’re kidnapping me to go camping in the woods.” Y/N smiles as she watches the unfamiliar road in front of them. Harry takes his shades off and passes it to the girl as he notices the sun is shining much more brighter than before. 

“Hey, you got permission from your parents.” He smirks at her as he keeps his hand on the gear stick.

“They think I’m sleeping over at Nessa’s.” Y/N laughs as she puts on the shades and looks at him. His cheeks turn red as he catches the sight of the pretty girl wearing everything of his. 

“Is little Y/N scared of the dark?” His hand smoothly travels to her thigh. 

“I am not.” Y/N chokes on her breath. It was bad enough Harry looked so hot whilst he was driving. 

“I think you are.” He notices her breathing becoming a bit more short. “You and me in a tent alone in the dark.” His hand goes a bit more south, gipping her inner thigh. 

“I have a surprise for you.” She blurts out. She was also seconds close to making Harry pull over to the side of the road. 

“And what is that?”

“I’ve been wearing a plug and I’m ready.” The speed of the car increases a bit as he mindlessly presses his foot to the sound of her voice. He looks at her one more time before taking over the car in front of them. 

“Fuck then. My baby once again proves that she isn’t as innocent as I thought.”

End of flashback*

The venue was beautiful. Ryan and Meghan chose this beautiful garden that had tulips growing everywhere. The white gazebo was obviously where the wedding would take place as the reception was only a stoned pathway ahead. Since Harry was the best man and Y/N was his date, she managed to follow him around the place as he spoke to the event planner and the maid of honour. She had a whole tour of the location as Harry spoke about the party’s process to her. Not only that, but he was an amazing date -he kept his hand on her back and introduced her to people she didn’t know. 

Currently, she was sitting on the bench watching Harry talk to some familiar faces. They seemed like a few boys Ryan and he would hang out with back in high school. She was mindlessly watching him laugh and smile throughout the conversation until she didn’t realize he was already staring at her. After excusing himself, he walked back towards her. 

“I’m sorry, If I’m boring yeh.” Harry rubs his neck as he sits down beside her. The wedding was about to start in a couple of hours. 

“No, you’re not.” Y/N laughs as she keeps her eyes on the lake behind him. She suddenly remembers their camping trip. She shakes her head at the thought and shrugs her shoulders. “How are you feeling?”

“About the wedding?” He pulls down the sleeves of his dark grey suit. She nods her head and waits for him to continue. “I’m happy Ryan is marrying Meghan. It’s funny how he thought he would stay single for long.”

“I remember him telling you that when you were engaged.” She bites the inside of her cheek. She definitely just put her foot in her mouth again. She was definitely known for that but Harry didn’t seem fazed at all about her statement. 

“I mean don’t get me wrong, Weddings are a bit difficult to attend at the moment just because I know mine didn’t end well but um…” He clears his throat and faces himself more towards her. “I also got married knowing I wasn’t really in love with the girl.”  Y/N finally looks at him as she watches the familiar green eyes say the truth. 

“I know.” She nods her head again. “Things are different now and I hope you do find the girl that you are 100% about.”

“Yeah.” He looks at the patch of flowers in front of them. He would tell her what he thinks but he knows she’s dating someone. 

“Let’s go check out your brother.” Harry stands up and offers his hand out. “I’m sure he’s wondering where we are.”

And so the event continued. Y/N’s parents arrived and so did the other guests. The beautiful girl in her wedding dress walked down the aisle and Harry couldn’t keep his eyes off the girl sitting in the crowd. 

It was simple for him, he knows he’s not over her but he wouldn’t tell her that.

Would he tell her that he started coming home more after Carla’s miscarriage in hope of seeing her? No.

He definitely can’t tell her that he was hurt. He would come over to their house only to find out she wasn’t home or when he found out she was moving to Seattle for college. 

After the past two years, Ryan briefly mentions her and James and he felt like he no longer had a chance. At least with her. 

So standing beside Ryan as his best man felt like a total shot in the heart because Harry knew he wasted his time and lost the girl as well. 

Y/N catches his eyes watching her and just for a moment, she wished things were different too. 

~

When the reception started, Harry and Y/N along with her parents sat at one of the tables close to the bride and groom

 The hosts were right however, as Harry fit perfectly with the family. Throughout dinner, he made jokes and started conversing with her parents more than she thought. Although he gave her some attention, he didn’t fail to compliment her mother as well. 

The two sat together eating dessert as he leaned over to whisper something in her ear. “I’ll let you have a bite out of my brownie if I can steal a bite from your cake.” Harry smirks as he takes a sip of his glass of tequila. He wasn’t trying to get drunk but a little strong (strong) alcohol should cause no harm. Y/N casually steals the glass from his hand and takes a sip as well. 

The two were finally much more comfortable with each other after spending the day side by side. Harry laughs as he takes his fork and steals a bite of her cake. The red velvet flavour melting in his mouth as he watches the girl swallow the rest of his drink. 

“Sorry, I’m a bit quenched.” Y/N laughs as she puts the glass down and stabs her fork back into her cake. His fork immediately swats hers away. 

“I’m not done with my bite.” He teases her as he pulls the small plate towards him. Y/N mouth drops.

“You guys fight like children.” Her dad speaks up and smiles at the scene in front of them. 

“He asked to steal a bite but he stole the whole plate.” She laughs as she watches him shove numerous tiny bites in his mouth. Y/N mom laughs as she smiles at the cheeky boy.

“I said you can have some of my brownie but you proceed to finish my drink.”

“You seem a little drunk anyway.” She lies as she leans forward to take the brownie from his plate.

“Want some shots.” Harry blurts out as he finishes the dessert. “You finished my drink so I’m heading back to the bar… you still might be a bit quenched.”

“Okay.” She laughs as the two excuse themselves from the table.

~

“Do you remember the scrunchie on my wrist and you called me out on it.” Harry slowly dances with Y/N as the night continues on. The event was almost over but all the attendees were on the dance floor dancing to Kiss Me by Ed Sheeran. As a proper stellar date, Harry didn’t hesitate to ask the girl for a dance as he knew last time he missed out.

“I know you stole it.” Y/N laughs as she unconsciously rests her head on his shoulder. The truth is when in doubt, Y/N always drinks a bit more than usual. It seems whenever Harry is around, she can’t help but be drunk. 

“Oh really?” He pulls away and laughs. “I was going to tell you an old story but you already know.” Y/N rolls her eyes as she looks at the people surrounding them. Nobody was shocked to see how close they were dancing. Everyone was in their own little bubble and maybe if Y/N and Harry didn’t break the ice or drink a bit, they would definitely not be as bold as they are right now. 

“No! You have to tell me now.” Her eyes widen as she readjusts her hands on her shoulders. Harry smirked at her anticipation as he willingly rests his hands back on her waist. 

“It was the first night we made the deal.” He whispers quietly hoping no one would hear them. “It was on your vanity and I took it after you sleepily threw my clothes at me.” They both laugh at the old memory. 

“I saw you wearing it during the game.” 

“So did you always watch me back then? Probably just wanted to get into my pants.” Y/N cheeks flush as she hides her face away from him. 

“You’re acting as if I never caught you staring right back at me.” 

“True.” he twirls her around. “Couldn’t keep my eyes off you after that deal you offered.” Y/N immediately pulls away after he hears the statement roll of his tongue.

“Harry, I know tonight has probably been the most normal conversation we had with each other but… We can’t go back there.” She walks off the dance floor, making him follow her without hesitation. Instead of going back to their table however, she makes a b line to the unlighted pathway of the garden.

“Hey, don’t go. I’m sorry I ruined the moment.” He unbuttons the top of his vest seeing his blazer was still on his chair. “I spoke about fight club-”

“You remember that?” Y/N slows down her speed and turns around. “It’s been three years and you still remember it?” 

“Why don’t you?” Harry turns his back around to notice the bushes covering them from the rest of the party. 

“Of course I do but you got married and moved away. I just thought that would slip your mind.”

“Well it didn’t.” He musters up a small smile and shrugs his shoulders. “Look, can we go back to the party and pretend I didn’t mess this up.” 

“It’s not about you messing up H. It’s the fact that I still get flashbacks of you and I -and seeing you here again is making me feel like the past three years didn’t happen.”

“I didn’t see you during Christmas.” He blurts out as he watches her sigh. “Any holiday except thanksgiving to be exact.”

“Well, I moved to Seattle and couldn’t book a flight home every time of the year.”

“Carla is dating someone new.” Y/N nods her head. “And I’m still not able to get you out of my head.” 

“You might just ghost me next time around.” She lets out a sarcastic laugh as she tries her best not to trip over herself as she walks a bit further into the pathway. 

“I told you I regret doing that.” He continues to follow her. “It’s been three years and you’re still mad about it.”

“I’m not mad. I’m just saying whenever it’s you and I, you tend to ghost me and run back to Carla.”

“If it makes you feel better, I could give a fuck less what Ryan thinks of us. It’s why I asked him if I could be your date.”

“I have a boyfriend Harry! An actual boyfriend who waits for me after work everyday. A boyfriend who actually replies to my calls-”

“He hasn’t even met Ryan or your parents!” 

“And-” 

“Look Y/N, all I’m saying is I don’t care about this fucking guy!” Harry sternly walks towards her until he backs her up to a wall of vines. 

“Then why are you trying to talk about our old memories and shit like that.”

“Because,” He pauses as he thoughtlessly rests his hands on either side of her head. “I fucking care about you. The moment Carla had a miscarriage and she needed me the most, I needed you! I didn’t realize I let you go the moment I went back to her.” 

“Harry…”

“So it’s true, you didn’t love me.” He pulls away but Y/N brings her hands up to his face to keep his eyes on her. 

“Of course, I did.” Y/N cries as she shakes her head in disbelief. “Why would you think that would be true? You called me out on it before.”

“I came back every couple of months hoping to see you at home with your parents. You were always gone.” 

“Did you actually?”

“Fuck.” He pulls away and runs his hand through his short hair. He swore he would never tell her this. Is this how desperate he is now.  “Yeah, of course I did. I knew you would leave for college but I wish I knew from you.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s not even your fault.” He laughs as he hugs her. “I want you back.” His arms wrap around her much more tightly than before. “Please.”

“James-”

“Do you love him?”

“Harry, don’t ask that?”

“No, I want to know.”

“Well I don’t know because after what you did-”

“Then you still love me.” He looks up at her in hope she would say yes. Just admit it, please.

“Okay and if I do -what do I do now? I like James and although it hasn’t been long I’m sure something will change.”

“Can’t you see?” He directs her back to the wall of vines. “You were always mine the same way, I was always yours.”

“The loophole of our deal.” She mumbles out loud as her hands mindlessly hold onto his forearms. 

“The deal has always meant more to me than it should’ve.”  He whispers as the sound of music and distant chatter is the only thing they can hear.

And I want to tell you everything

The words I never got to say the first time around

And I remember everything

From when we were the children playing in this fairground

Wish I was there with you now

If the whole world was watching I'd still dance with you

Drive highways and byways to be there with you

Over and over the only truth

Everything comes back to you

“Just kiss me already.” Y/N watches him as she lets out one more breath. Without hesitation he kisses her as the grip on her waist tightens. Y/N’s hands immediately play with the curls that reach the nape of his neck. 

“Fuck, I missed you.” His soft lips rub on her left cheeks as he rubs himself on her. His hands begin to wonder in disbelief that she’s in his arms again. Her scent clouding his thoughts that they haven’t even noticed they’re still at a party.

“I want you.” Her hips raise itself on him as she rests her back on the cement behind her. “Harry, please.”

“We’re going home.” He bites his lip as his eyes darken. Without even thinking of what others would say, he mindlessly holds her hand as they walk out of the secluded space. The two didn’t bother telling anyone they were leaving the party as he basically dragged the poor girl to his car. 

“Do you even know how to get inside Ryan’s house.” She giggles as she keeps herself close to his arm. He takes his blazer and rests it on her shoulders back like a few years ago.  

“I have my ways.” He smirks as he helps her inside the vehicle. 

This whole event felt like déjà vu. The wedding, the car ride, the quick secret escape from a party just to have sex. If there was one thing Y/N and Harry were good at, it’s probably how good they were at keeping themselves as a secret. 

“I’ve missed you more than I thought.” Y/N bites her lip as she rests her head on the seat, watching Harry drive.

Him in his suit too focused on driving them home made her want to fuck his brains out. Truly. 

Harry’s cheeks flush as he takes her hand into his. “I’m no longer that frat boy you used to know. I’m much nicer.” 

“Oh really, in what ways?” she smirks as she eyes the growing bulge in his pants.

“I promise you won’t be able to leave my room tonight that’s for sure.”

“Then I’m happy.”

/

Moist air, dark night, and bodies clinging to each other as Harry struggled to open the front door. As the groom’s best friend, of course he had keys to his house. Y/N couldn’t help but keep her hands on his slim torso as there was something about just holding them that was driving her crazy. 

“Fuck, your parents are going to wonder where we are.” 

“I don’t fucking care.” Y/N licks the side of his neck before running inside. She’s trying to laugh quietly as she attempts to take off her heels. Harry being the responsible one, he texts Y/N’s dad they went home. Afterwards, he stops by Y/N’s room to lock it before he follows the girl into his room. 

Once he locks the door, he realizes Y/N managed to take all her clothes off as she laid on his bed. “For fuck’s sake.” He mumbles to himself as he forgot how horny and crazy Y/N can be. He rubs the slight stubble on his chin as he watches the girl bite her lip and roll in his sheets. “You’re such a little devil aren’t you?”

“Like I said I missed you.” She fakes her confidence as Harry crawls up to meet her on the mattress. His finger takes the lip out between her teeth as his lips move forward to kiss her once again. His goal was to lay her down and kiss her naked body but it seemed like Y/N had other plans in mind. Her arms push him away as she kneels on the mattress. Keeping her eyes on him, she unbuttons the rest of his vest before spreading her palms over where his heart beat. Harry is speechless but the moment she began to unbuckle his belt he had to say something.

“Oh I see.” He smiles as his hand holds Y/N’s chin to his face. “I thought my girl really did miss me but it seems like she missed my dick a bit more huh? You want it?” He grips her face a bit harder as her hands maintain on his waistline. She nods shyly as she tries to continue her action. 

“Fine, do what you want but I’m not done with you yet.” His voice softens as his hand immediately brushes the soft hair away from her face. His green eyes watch her drool over him as she unzips his pants. His hands on the flip side continued to remove the white long sleeve off his body. “Take it in your mouth. I know you’re dying too baby.” Y/N cheeks turn red as her tongue peaks out to kiss his hard cock. The funny thing is, she couldn’t keep her eyes off him despite being a horny mess. Sex was never the same if it wasn’t with harry and that was a fact because the moment she put him in her mouth, he pushed himself harder until he could feel the back of her throat. 

The constant humming and gagging sounds wasn’t enough for him because the moment he pulled himself out of her little wet hole. He pulls her hair harder to keep her eyes on him. Without even hesitating, he spits in her mouth and puts his dick back in. From the way Y/N’s eyes rolled back, he knew full well that this was his girl and some things don’t change...especially the way she reacts to him. 

“Are you going to let me fuck your mouth baby?” He moans quietly as he softly strokes her scalp. “How many times are you going to make me cum huh?” Y/N chokes a bit as he thrusts himself at a faster rate. “Always so pretty aren’t you dove?” He pulls himself out and slaps her tit. “What do you want me to do?” He whispers as kisses her lips once more. His mouth thoughtlessly kisses down the side of her neck as his hands press and grope on her tits. 

“I want you everywhere.” His eyes watch her dilated ones as he slowly pushes her down the mattress. 

“Hm, I don’t think you want to as much I thought?” He teases her as one of his fingers pops into his mouth and later into hers.

“You want me to beg?” Her tongue swirls around his digit as she lays helplessly on his pillows. “Never.”

“Never?” Harry laughs as his wet fingers pretended to walk down her body to her heated centre. “When did my baby become such a brat?” The devious smirk plays on his face as his tongue licks the side of his mouth. 

“I’ve always been a brat.”

“Oh, so you don’t want me to fuck you is that what you’re saying?” His hands immediately stop teasing her as he begins to jerk himself off -slowly but surely. 

“I do.” She tries to sit up but his hand pushes her back down immediately. “Harry, please?”

“Is that you begging me?” He laughs as his thumb wipes a bead of precum on his dick. “I would rate that three out of ten, Extra point because good girls say please.” 

“Baby...” Y/N moans out as she tries to reach for him but Harry’s hands immediately grabs them and places them above her head.

“Just beg a bit better and maybe you wouldn’t have to work so hard, love. You said it before so show me you want me.”

“Daddy please fuck me.”

“Like music to my ears.” He spreads her legs open and pushes himself inside her. “Fuck.” It’s always the condom that gets to him. 

“No, stay.” She whines as she holds onto his wait. “Please, I’m on birth control and James and I don’t really-”

“What?” His eyes widen as he bites the inside of his cheek. “What did you say?”

“He’s an intern at this hospital so he’s just always been busy.” She whispers in embarrassment. Don’t get her wrong, she has sex just not as much as she thought she should.

“Fucking hell.” He mumbles as he thrusts himself a bit harder into her. “No one has taken care of you in a while huh?” He bends down and kisses her again. The soft wet licks stay longer as he hears the beat of her heart. It was beating fast just like his. 

“Mhm. Please Harry just fuck me.” She cries out as she takes his fingers back into her mouth.  His thrusts become harder and harder as he watches her face cry in pleasure. “Oh daddy, fuck.” 

“So fucking good. You’re such an angel oh shit.” His palm immediately chokes her. He couldn’t help but watch how her tits move up and down due to the force he’s putting into her. 

“Let me ride you.” Her hips thrust up and meet him. Her mouth opens wide at the feeling. 

“You sure about? Sure you can still take me?” His hand gives her a little slap to the cheek. 

“Of course I can.” Y/N smirks. Harry immediately pulls himself off her as he lays down on the mattress himself. “You think I’m going to let you fuck me all night long. I’ve been wanting to fuck your brains out.”

“Y/N,” He smirks as he watches her straddle him. “You think you can fuck my brains out? You seem pretty fucking confident, baby.” He flicks her nipple which makes her press herself deeper onto his dick. 

“I can.” She closes her eyes as Harry watches the moonlight shine on her face. 

“Yeah, then show me.” He slaps the side of her thigh more harder than before. “Fuck me. Just use me then.”

“Just promise I’ll be a good girl, daddy.” her hands slide down to his waist.

“Promise.” He bites his lip and watches their wet desperate centres meet. 

And in that moment, there was nothing but lust in their eyes as they fucked back and forth. Y/N moaning as Harry continued slapping her ass. He couldn’t help but thrust his hips as well due the fact there was nothing better than feeling Y/N’s desperate pussy clenching for more. 

“Go on all fours.” He cries out after a few more rounds. Y/N wasn’t lying since she definitely fucked his brain out. There was nothing on their minds other than jumping each other’s bones over and over again. 

 Once she’s in position, he slaps her ass once again before putting himself back in. 

“Oh god, shit baby.” Y/N bites the end of his pillowcase as she keeps her hands on the headboard. “You’re so big, I can’t anymore fuck.”

“I know you have one more in you, come on baby.” He pulls her hair and slaps her ass once more. 

“Fuck!” She moans out as she feels his wet spit travel down her pussy.  Harry immediately thrusts harder as the sweat on his neck begins to bother him. His thrusts were becoming sloppy but he needed Y/N to cum one more time.

“God, fuck me.” Harry moans out as Y/N finally cums one more time around him. Without even thinking, he releases himself inside of her and pulls her hair harder one more time. She immediately falls down as she can’t feel a thing. Harry felt her clench around him despite his need to pull himself off her. 

“Baby, you have to let go.” He kisses the back of her shoulder and grips the side of her waist.

“Please don’t go.” She cries out and wipes her tears on the pillowcase. Harry slowly pulls himself off and lays on the bed beside her. He puts himself back in and wipes her tears away.  His arm pulls her closer to him as he whispers one more thing into her ear.

“I love you.” 

~

“Glad to see you two are awake.” Y/N’s mom waits in the kitchen as she makes pancakes on the stove. “Ryan and Meghan left last night right after the reception.” She suspiciously keeps her eyes on the two as they walk together to the breakfast table. “Harry, thank you for leaving the door unlocked. We came home around one last night.” Oh shit did they hear us? Y/N looks at Harry who seems bothered as he takes a sip of the coffee in his mug. 

“I didn’t hear you two.” She brings the plate to the table. “If you’re wondering Y/N.”

“Mom, it’s not what-” Her cheeks flush in an embarrassment. 

“Oh please, don’t bother lying. I already lied, Harry was the one who opened the door for us.” She laughs and rolls her eyes. “And Harry, don’t bother giving me an excuse. It makes sense.” She sits down with the two of them. “You always kept visiting us back home and the way your eyes watched her when she came here after her flight gave it all away.”

“Not to mention, you answering the door shirtless and Y/N not responding when we knocked on her door last night.” Y/N’s dad appears with a newspaper in hand. 

“Does Ryan know?” Harry looks at Y/N and puts a pancake on her plate. Does her parents even know she’s wearing his clothes?

“Ryan saw you two leave together.” Y/N’s mom laughs. “Don’t worry, it was him and Meghan’s idea to also try and pair you guys together.”

“Wait so he’s okay with it.” Y/N speaks up after murmuring a thank you to Harry. 

“Of course he is, Y/N. You guys are no longer teenagers right? So make your own choices for Christ’s sake.” Her mom states in disbelief. 

“Did you know I’ve been seeing her back in high school?”

“Harry.” Y/N’s dad’s tone changed. Sounded a bit like disappointment. 

“Oh god, there is more to the story?” Y/N’s mom rolls her eyes. “Alright, eat up everyone, you two have to tell us everything.”

~

“So this is it.” Y/N smiles as she sits in his car. The two were currently at the airport. “I had no idea, you relocated to Boston. It makes sense why you had so many things in your room back at Ryan’s house.”

“Yeah, I transferred last year. I’m hoping to finish here, graduate and then see what else I can do.” 

“What do you think this means for us?” She puts her shades on as she pulls on the sleeves of her light sweater that she was wearing over her collared shirt. 

“It means that this is when I ask you if you would please be my girlfriend.” Y/N’s cheeks flush and she hides her face in her hands. 

“Are you for real?” She laughs. 

“Yes.” He smirks as he keeps his hands on the steering wheel. 

“I will be your girlfriend, Harry.” 

“Good. You’re breaking up with James right.” Y/N rolls her eyes and nods. 

“I’m ending it with him, the moment I land back in the city.”

“Make some space, I might move there.” He lightly jokes but there was some truth in it. Meghan and Ryan were married, there was no need for him to take up some space in their house. 

“Sure, you’ll love Seattle and Ness is there too.” 

“I like that. Will you introduce me to your ex?” Y/N laughs as she opens her door. 

“No.” but right before she can get out, his hand pulls her back in for a kiss. Once their lips touch, he looks at her once again.

“I love you.” He genuinely states as he watches her eyes melt in happiness. 

“I love you too.” She smiles and kisses him once more. “Bye, Harry.” She hugs him across the platform and kisses his cheek too. “I’ll miss you.”

“I’ll miss you more. Call me later tonight when you land yeh?” 

“Okay.” She pouts. She had to catch a flight and be away from him for at least one more year. 

“I love you okay, baby.” He kisses her forehead. “Bye.”

“Bye.” And with that, Y/N steps out of the car and watches him drive away. She has a plane to catch and he has some sheets to clean but that doesn't change the fact, they are finally together.

And everyone knows it. 

Fini! 

---------

Taglist:  @f-flourishing , @nataliedahlia , @florenceskies , @much-love-tay , @goldenxstyles7 , @sixwyrxstuff , @y0uresogolden , @gucciantidote , @kikisparadise18 , @muffpuff23 , @stylessugarhigh , @f-vasquezp , @alwaysclassyeagle

[thechanelmuse]

My book review:

In The Creativity Code, Marcus du Sautoy (a University of Oxford mathematician) dives into an exploration between the lines of artificial intelligence and human creativity through stories and examples on games, art, music, storytelling, and songwriting to name a few; the history of machine learning algorithms; and if programmed machines can develop a form of consciousness, producing this human trait of creativity, or just give an illusion of it through imitation. 

Here’s some excerpts:

"Fake” Artists on Spotify

[François] Pachet has been poached from Sony Labs and is now working for Spotify. Given that rumors have been circulating that Spotify is creating playlists full of songs by "fake" artists, the move is an interesting one. Music critics spotted a number of artists on Spotify who were notching up an extraordinary number of hits thanks to their inclusion on popular playlists curated by Spotify for meditation or running. A band called Deep Watch had recorded 4.5 million plays over a five-month period. 

When critics tried to find out who these artists were, they kept drawing blanks: no presence anywhere else on the internet; no upcoming concerts; no details anywhere of such a band. A rumour began to circulate that the music was being generated by ‘fake artists’ so that Spotify wouldn’t have to pay royalties. Spotify hit back: ‘We do not and never have created ��fake” artists and put them on Spotify playlists. Categorically untrue, full stop.’ But it does appear that they were specifically commissioning minor artists to create songs under fake names at royalty rates that were much more favourable to the company than its standard deals with record labels.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Botnik

Machine learning is changing that. It’s now possible for an algorithm to take an author’s entire opus and learn something about the way they write. If they favour a particular word, there may be a high probability that this word will be followed by certain other words. By building up a probabilistic picture of how an author uses words, an algorithm could start to generate the continuation of a text. This is how predictive texting works. The literary results have been both revealing and entertaining.

This use of machine learning to create new literature has been championed by a group that calls itself Botnik. [...] The group has taken Seinfeld scripts and produced new episodes based on a mathematical analysis of past dialogue and even got an actor from Scrubs, Zach Braff, to perform a monologue.

Probably their most successful output to date came from training Botnik on the seven volumes of Harry Potter. The three pages it generated have a very convincing ring to them.

Magic: it was something that Harry Potter thought was very good. Leathery sheets of rain lashed at Harry’s ghost as he walked across the grounds towards the castle.

But there are moments of pure genius that could only have come from an algorithm:

Ron was standing there and doing a kind of frenzied tap dance. He saw Harry and immediately began to eat Hermione’s family. Ron’s Ron shirt was just as bad as Ron himself.

I guess for fans who are really desperate for more from the wizarding world this may be better than nothing, but it’s pretty plot-free and is unlikely to sustain much drama beyond three pages.”

(End of the excerpts)

Can you guess which painting out of the two below was made by an AI to mimic the art of Rembrandt?

Did you pick?

Are you sure with your choice?

The answer is the first one. (Did you spot Rembrandt’s signature on the second one?)

Even though I am cautious as hell of AIs (I don’t play with no damn robots. I seen I, Robot 👀), The Creativity Code is an intriguing, well-researched, and written book that I will def be rereading.

[gustingirl]

serendipity pt2 | ? x reader

"The universe has moved for us, without missing a single thing"

- in which you meet a lovely boy who soon will change your life -

part 1: [x]

part 2: [x]

part 3: [soon]

disclaimer: this is long as fuck, around 5k words so good luck!

warnings: i'm labelling it as smut just in case; mentions of alcohol

As much as you tried to stop it, you couldn’t stop shaking your legs. Introductions always made you nervous, and even slightly uncomfortable too. You were not one to like talking with many people at once, especially hated having everybody’s eyes on you as thousand questions were shot towards your way. But this time, this introduction was not the cause of your shaky legs and constant hand movements. You just couldn’t stay calm as you were pretty aware of the two brown eyes nailed on your figure. Every once in a while you would turn around, and every single time was the same as the previous one. Josh’s full concentration was solely on you, on every move you made and every word that came out of your mouth. Even when you weren’t the one talking, he was still only staring at you.

But don’t get me wrong, it was the good kind of nervousness that you were feeling. It was the kind of nervousness you go through when you catch a cute boy staring at you at the coffee shop or the library. The kind of nervousness you feel when you’re choosing the right outfit for a date. Josh was staring hard and his face was almost expressionless, to your surprise, yet you didn’t feel uncomfortable. In fact, you felt undressed, almost naked. As if he could easily see through you. At first you had no idea how to feel, but soon you felt comfortable, like he was telling you he understood you without having to say a word.

“Wait, how did you two meet though?” Jake’s sudden question brought you out of your thoughts. Sam elbowed you with a smile and you took the gesture as indicator to answer

“Through Dylan, a friend in common. We both went to his party”

“Yeah! Though we became friends later that night when we started talking” Sam’s enthusiasm was making every word he said louder than the previous one. You loved it; you were as happy to see him again as he seemed to be.

Your best friend then proceeded to share in pure detail every word you two exchanged that one night, including the lighter incident. Though you loved making others laugh, it was Josh’s small but strong laughter that shook you off the most. It was deeper than you expected, and, mixed with his strong staring contest, it made you feel somehow weird inside. Until this moment and even many moments later, you couldn’t define with words how Josh was making you feel.

“But actually Y/N knew us before! She’s a huge fan of ours” Sam shared with pure pride in his tone.

“Really? How so?” It was the first time Josh had spoken since everybody sat down to meet the youngest Kiszka’s best friend. Though it shouldn’t have, his voice sort of surprised you. You concentrated hard so that your voice wouldn’t come out as shaky as you thought it would be.

“I….sell you” you replied with a smile, expecting everybody to be confused. The several ‘huh?’s made you continue right away “I work at a music store. We sell instruments mostly but also a lot of vinyl records. I had to make a playlist with songs from all the albums we sell and I added I think it was Safari Song and Highway Tune, now also Heat Above with the last album released. That’s when I became a fan as well”

You couldn’t figure out why, but Josh’s proud smile sent a soft shiver down your spine. You had the idea there was more than pride in there but for the sake of your mental health, you decided to ignore it and ignore him as much as you could. After all, you had Sam basically stuck next to you and you were worried he would catch you thinking too much about his brother.

You spent the whole night being basically the centre of attention. You fit so well with the whole group, as if you had a bit of each one of their personalities in you. Your friends helped by shooting snarky comments at you, and your witty replies would make everybody laugh loud. With time, everybody relaxed that nervousness the concert gave them thanks to your easy-going personality. The happiest of them all was your best friend, your brother from another mother. Sam had the biggest smile as he watched you talk, even encouraged you to share all the anecdotes you had previously exchanged with him. He was so proud of having you as his best friend, and you couldn’t be any happier by his side. He felt the same way, and soon you’d learn about it.

“Join us on the tour!” he basically yelled out of nowhere.

You two had moved aside after chatting so much with everybody. The conversation had sort of died quite a while earlier so Sam took advantage to have some private chat with you. He wanted to know everything about the concert from your point of view. You two chattered for what seemed an hour before he suddenly exclaimed what he had been thinking from the moment he saw you walking into that room.

“What!?” was the only thing you could say. Your brain could barely process what he was saying. “You gotta be kidding me”

“Not at all! Y/N, seriously. Having you around is fucking therapy. I need that therapy. I need you here. Besides, there aren’t many shows, just a bunch” you wanted to complain but his cute smile was too sweet for you to think about rejecting the idea “Hey! You graduated already and if your job is an obstacle I’m sure you can help somehow here. We don’t have much young staff, you know, young brains think more creatively”

You adored each one of the excuses Sam had to have you around. Those excuses were probably what drove you to blindly say yes with no much thinking. You didn’t mind about the job, you did love the idea of working with them. Sam even allowed your friends to join too, while also promising jobs for them too. All the juggle Sam was doing for you to say yes made your heart melt. You just couldn’t say no to him.

And thank fucking God you didn’t say no. You were having the time of your life. In the five or six months that you’d been touring with them, you lived every single adventure you could. Your friends got along so well with his band and soon you four were best friends with the other four. Obviously, you had made so many other friends around. Kenzi was like a sister by now, she took care of you and helped you with your job every once in a while. You were given the weirdest task ever, but you loved it: you had to lurk around the internet in the most discreet way to see what was the general online audience’s reaction to the band. You loved it, anyways. It was fun and all you had to do was write reports to their manager. You even started collaborating with their social media content, as you were quite aware of what the fans wanted. The fans, though. They loved you. You were scared of what their reaction could be, but you later realized how wrong you were. They welcomed you warmly and would always talk to you during concerts.

You soon became one more of the family. Even Karen had basically adopted you by now. Everybody around you was as sweet as Sam. And as you grew closer with everybody, you also did with Josh. You were surprised to find out how shy he actually was. It took him quite a time to actually talk to you alone. You didn’t know whether you weren’t approachable or he just didn’t know what to say. But it took almost a month for him to actually sit down with you one day and have lunch together. You were glad he did. You had spent all that month thinking if he hated you or something. His family and friends had told you several times that he wasn’t as social as people expected. But you still kept overthinking each glance, each expression and each second he spent near you.

Thankfully, by now you two were just as close as you were with Sam. It actually surprised you just how similar you and Josh were. Without realizing, he had become your true best friend. He just was someone you could easily talk to. He always had the best advice in hand and, if it wasn’t advice what you needed, Josh always had the way to make you laugh hard. He was so interesting, like a human Russian doll. The more you would pull out, the more you would discover inside. As much as you tried, you couldn’t calm down the fire he would always turn on inside you. Sometimes it was loud, sometimes it truly burnt and other times it just lived there without bothering you. But it was there, alive and burning for him.

You really wanted to turn that fire off. Not by forgetting about him because it was way harder than you expected. But by tasting him, by getting to be with him. All sorts of fantasies flew around inside your head each second passed. Nevertheless, this fire did calm down a lot when Sam decided, one drunk night, to truly share everything he’s been swallowing for many years. He did not leave one detail, ranting about everything that he could. You were a bit in shock as you watched your best friend complaining about everything and exposing every single true color of everybody around him. There were some things that you had already noticed in others, but it truly surprised you when Sam went off on Josh and how he didn’t like the friendship you had with his brother. You gulped while listening to Sam constantly remarking on Josh’s lack of consistency, how he didn’t know how to truly appreciate things and how he sometimes seemed to only care about himself and his passion. He feared he would play with your heart and, such thing then ending up ruining your friendship with Sam, that he so much cherished. You could understand where he was coming from and his reasons made a lot of sense to you. Because of that, you decided to be a good friend and respect his concerns by not pushing the topic much. After all, everything he had said was really ringing inside your head.

Little did you know, you weren’t the only one warned about this new friendship. About a month ago, the boys had invited your friends to have some drinks. As usual, you four got drunk and created your own little dance floor in the middle of the bar while the four artists watched you. Sam’s attention grew bigger as he heard Josh suddenly compliment you. He couldn’t hold it much longer and decided to speak up.

“Stay away from her, Josh” he said, trying his best to hide the silent anger growing inside of him “She’s a good girl, she got her heart broken before, she doesn’t need it again”

“Are you serious, Sam? What the hell do you mean by that?” It was now Josh’s turn to try not to sound angry. However, he couldn’t really hide it the way his young brother could. Sam noticed the tone change and pulled out a cheating smile

“Jake and Danny are dating so I can only say this to you but I mean it. She means a lot to me and I would hate to lose this beautiful friendship”

Sam’s words resonated loudly inside Josh’s head. Like you, his own fire slowly turned off and he nodded in response. For a while, both of you, unaware of the other, worked on looking away and forgetting about that burning feeling inside whenever your eyes would find each other.

But, where the fire was, ashes remain. And like the Phoenix, these ashes slowly turned back to be the big fire that could burn any city down within seconds.

It all started after one of their latest concerts. You had chosen to wear a yellow skirt with a blazer and a tight white shirt below, decorating your neck with a tie. Sam had always told you about wearing that outfit before and it was now the time. You felt sexy and unstoppable, but all your confidence went down the second you met those two eyes. They found you almost as soon as you walked in the waiting room, right after the concert ended. It was like they called you, because you instantly fell into them. You kept your big smile as you approached Sam to congratulate him, feeling your back burning as you knew Josh was still staring. All eyes were on you suddenly, but only Josh’s intense staring was making your legs weaker with each second. But the closer Sam was to you, the more the fire would start dying down.

For your luck, Sam was not as alerted to you as always. You felt the freedom to steal glances from Josh. Like two kids planning on escaping, you felt nervous just staring at him. His little smiles towards you would suddenly make all sorts of butterflies fly around your stomach, giving you soft goosebumps around your body. As the night went by, you basically chatted with everybody except for Josh.

He waited for the best moments, and he found it when he caught you standing near the room’s entrance with a glass in hand and eyes watching over everybody. He took a deep breath before approaching.

“Why that look on your face?” Josh softly spoke to not scare you. You smiled at him when he stood close, completely forgetting how soft he could speak. It made you sad, the realization that in the last months you two barely spoke.

“I’m just….” you giggled sadly before continuing “my social battery is dying down. I’m starting to feel a bit suffocated inside here” you replied, taking a look at him. He was nodding in response, not once making you feel ashamed.

“Yeah, I know that feeling. Wanna go out?” He showed you a sincere smile as he pointed at the door. With a smirk, you nodded and slowly left the room with him.

You felt like a criminal as you walked down the hall with him. It was dumb, as Sam only told you about Josh’s flaws. It was your choice to stay away but now it was too hard to do it.

“Wanna smoke outside?” he suddenly spoke, shaking you off your thoughts

“No, not really. Is there anywhere inside the building we can go to?”

Josh nodded and took your hand while guiding you around. The mere touch sent fireworks inside of you. It was something so small yet it had so much power on you. The room he chose basically contained all sorts of accessories necessary for the band’s functioning. All those big black boxes that carried the instruments, all the cameras and microphones. It was a big room, with tables and couches, and it was comfortable and far away from the waiting room.

You two sat down on one of the couches and, despite the length of it, for some reason you decided to sit down close to each other. He cornered you, only giving you a small spot in between his body and the couch’s arm rest. You didn’t mind, as the alcohol you had consumed was by now calming down any sort of thought.

He brought drinks and you two spent a good time of the night just catching up on all that time you barely spoke. You had to admit you were feeling both sad and happy to be with him alone again. It was quite evident why you were happy, but the sadness was there. Just looking at him brought back all the memories of endless nights just drinking at hotels, sharing moments together, having the times of your lives. But now, he almost felt like a stranger. But a stranger you trusted so badly, a stranger so known that you felt like he was transparent to you, as you were to him. You could slowly feel that connection grow back.

As the connection started appearing again, so did the burning fire inside of you. As you drank and drank, slowly the space between you began disappearing. By the time he suggested the game, your knees were touching and his hands would occasionally brush your skin, leaving burning marks behind.

“Wanna play a game?” he suggested after you complained about being bored. When you looked at him, you noticed the fancy smirk he was wearing. There was more to that question and you were intrigued to find out what he was thinking

“Sure. What’s the game about?” you asked while sitting properly on the couch

“Okay it goes like this” he imitated you before continuing "We ask the other a question that can only be answered with the pure truth”

“And if I don’t wanna tell the truth?” you asked, knowing he was expecting you to.

“You lose a piece of clothing” Josh said after a small pause as he played with the hem of your blazer. His tone was more than mischievous and the smirk he was wearing was enough evidence of it. However, you were eager to play the game and show him you weren’t afraid of telling the truth.

After both of you were sitting comfortably while facing each other, the game started. To make it fun, both of you decided to start easily. You asked him if he had ever fallen for a fan right at a concert, and he admitted that he had several times. On the other hand, he asked you whether you had had naughty thoughts about a stranger you’d met. The following questions were “innocent”, though this word was not really fitting. You just started with questions you knew weren’t as personal.

Later, such questions showed up. If there was one topic you had never had the chance of truly talking about with Josh was sex. You knew he was open to talk about whatever and sex was not exactly taboo with him. However, due to your friendship and the sudden break you two took, such a topic was a bit awkward. Some things you rather preferred keeping as a secret. You were the first one to lose a piece of clothing.

“My turn” Josh had said while taking a sip of probably his 10th drink of the night. You were surprised by the amazing alcohol tolerance he had as he seemed as sober as any other day. “Tell me what happened that night of May with Sam at the terrace”

You had no idea how, but Josh knew more than you imagined. Nothing truly happened that night. You and Sam had just shared a really weird conversation, with hypothetical situations that suggested you two as a couple. However, both of you were quite ashamed of the interaction and kept it a secret from everybody (except for your friends, they obviously knew). You stared back at Josh with a smile and, without breaking eye contact, you slowly took off your blazer. He just laughed at you, apparently his plan had worked.

You waited a few rounds before hitting back at him.

“Have you ever fantasized about being with a friend?” you had no idea why he didn’t want to answer that. He could easily talk about a friend you didn’t know. You hadn’t even asked for names. But anyways, you had Josh taking off his white hoodie. The little blush that suddenly appeared on his cheeks made you blush too. You were concerned about how fast you could catch all his little details. You noticed you were staring too hard as he raised his eyebrow at you with a small smile. You pretended to not notice and continued playing.

Fortunately, Josh was someone so easy to talk to that you barely lost, really. Some questions made you lose something, but you also knew how to attack Josh, so you were never in true disadvantage.

“What’s your weirdest kink?” and your tie was gone. He complained, but you defended yourself by saying that it was a piece of your clothing after all.

“Did you ever get a boner on stage?” and his shirt was gone. He was more at loss than you; only his pants and boxers remained.

“Have you ever had a fantasy with any of us four?”

That question went straight into your heart and suddenly your face was burning red. You cursed at yourself for your lame reaction; you basically admitted it with your face. Josh was biting his lip so hard to prevent from smiling that you could even tell blood was coming off. There was a moment of silence as you thought of your answer. By now you had understood how the game was going: with every question came one answer and one only. If you said yes, you already knew what his next question was going to be. But Josh could tell when you were lying as you were not good at it with him. So, upon not finding any other solution, you swallowed before releasing a soft “shameful” yes. Josh’s eyes lit up like crazy and he was so close to just jumping around. You bit your lip too, hoping he would let it go.

“Fuck, for real? With who?” he inquired quite fast

“¡No! One question, now it’s my turn”

There was one question you had under your sleeve, your hidden ace that you knew was going to make him lose. There was something you had been noticing throughout these months that you would not talk with each other. You didn’t know when to bring it up, until now. The tension was there. Josh knew the answer to the previous question you smartly pushed back. But the tension was there from the second you two sat down. The space between you two was almost gone. With only one movement, you were right in front of his face and, in a second, you could steal the sweet kiss you had been needing from the second you first saw him. With one word said, the two could be devouring each other’s souls within seconds. You decided to do it; cut the tension by making it worse. You knew how bad it was, but you were not thinking straight at all.

“Are you ever going to do something with me?” The sudden question baffled Josh in a second. He sat straight, looking more like a criminal who had just been caught. You knew the feeling you were going to have upon seeing this reaction and you just couldn’t help it. You smiled before continuing “You know, you always stare at my breasts whenever I’m wearing cleavage or you stare at my ass whenever I walk by. I’m not as blind as you think, baby”

It was the way he was biting his lip that made you feel something between your legs. It was truly the very first time he made you feel this way. The fire was always inside, but never down there. Now it was burning much hotter than ever, and his fucking reaction was not helping at all. You weren’t sure why, but you could feel Josh was being cocky, like he liked being caught. You watched him nod slowly as he sat looking forward.

“Take them off” he randomly commanded, as he stared at you. Suddenly that cockiness was gone, and the fire started taking over your entire body. But even in such moments, you couldn’t let him win. There was always a constant fight for confidence with him. You were sure of yourself and you hated feeling defeated. He wanted so badly to dominate you. It was written all over his face. And you were not gonna let him win.

You knew what “them” meant by now; he could only take his pants off. So, with the decision of fucking him up a bit, you kneeled on the couch and lowered your head towards his crotch. You probably let your hand slip around a bit more than you should have, feeling his skin and thighs before reaching the zipper. You couldn’t forget the eye contact. Without breaking it, and with a little playful smile, you unzipped it slowly. Josh’s eyes were shifting emotions. All sense of dominance was gone, and he was now fighting to not break down. You moved around, now kneeling on the floor in between his legs. Never once moving your eyes off him, you drew your head near his crotch again as you slowly took off his pants. You smirked once you were gone, happy to know your whole plan had worked. Josh was then realizing that he had messed with the wrong person.

But you should have expected a backfire. This was Josh after all; you knew the lack of filters he had. As you also knew the question that was coming. But now, the atmosphere was different. Way different from before the last question.

“My turn, mama” he spoke in quite a deep voice. It had its effect on you, and you could tell he knew what he was doing “With which one of us did you fantasize about?”

You really could tell Josh anything. And you have had before. You had told him the little crush you had on Jake for a few days after he treated you better than anybody has had before. He knew how attractive you found Danny. He even knew you would kiss Sam if the moment would call for it. But not about him. This was just something you couldn’t tell him. Not only because you couldn’t openly admit it, but because you were not going to let him hear that answer. You knew you were at loss right there but, like before, you were not going to let him win it completely. There was always one last card to play and, by now, you were not caring at all.

You stood slowly, the eye contact being obviously your prime element. This was your way of asserting dominance, and somehow Josh was someone very easy to look at. With this in mind, you once again stood in between his legs. The one who was laying back on the couch as he stared deeply at you was now sitting straight, face near your body but eyes nailed on yours. And just like that, you unzipped your skirt and let it fall to the floor. It was probably the only moment where Josh broke eye contact to have a good look at the sight in front of him. It caught him off guard, but you really weren’t wearing anything but a pair of panties under your skirt. Just the thought of you wandering around with no protection under such a short skirt drove him insane. You could feel him slowly losing it, and it aroused you more than you could think. By now both of you were totally gone. Josh grabbed you by the side of your thighs and looked up at you with hunger in his eyes.

“Fuck the game” he muttered and, after you smirked in agreement, he brought your body towards his lips.

The feeling of his wet kisses all over your stomach, thighs and crotch made you release little moans that were as quiet as possible. Josh didn’t lose time and soon you were sitting on his lap, fingers hooked on his curls as your lips met each other. You couldn’t express the feelings fighting inside of you. Part of it was freedom; that fire that was burning so hard was now peaceful, totally painless and was now replaced by pure hunger. You both released moans after moans as your hands roamed each other’s bodies. You two were needing it so badly, you had been craving it for months. So many needs were bottled up and needed to come out.

His hands found your ass, your waist, your thighs, your breasts. Everything he could land hands on were touched with desire. Your hands found his chest, his arms, his neck, his face. You needed him so badly, you just couldn’t believe how you spent months away from this, from him. As his lips reached your neck, he shifted you both so that now you were lying on the couch. He was on top of you, located right in between your legs. The thin cloth separating your crotches was being too annoying by now. But you could barely tell; he was basically devouring you slowly.

“I’m gonna fuck you so good, baby” he whispered into your neck. You two were struggling to keep it quiet as many people were still working around.

“You better be a man of words then” you shoot back, closing your eyes as you were feeling every kiss this man was leaving on your skin. He suddenly stopped to have a good look at you.

“No, honey, I’m a man of actions” you bit your lip as he moved strains of hair from your face. You could now read each expression correctly; he truly was about to fuck the shit out of you. It was written all over his eyes, his mouth, everything. You couldn’t wait any longer, and you pulled him by the neck towards you.

As much as you wanted him inside you, you couldn’t rush it. You were needing everything; every kiss, every touch, every hot breath into your neck, every squeeze, every beautiful moan he released every once in a while. You were happy enough with the way he was pressing himself into you. You could feel him so close, though you were needing him closer. Like your bodies were literally attached to the other, but you needed more. You craved so much more of him, more than he could ever give you that night.

But it was too good to be true. You had never jumped so quickly before as right then, when a girl suddenly opened the door and released a small but loud scream before closing the door once again. You sat back fast, and in a second Josh sat right in front of you, covering you as much as he could.

It took you a while to realize, though, that this was not just any other girl. You had seen her before, but you actually knew about her. You cursed at your luck as you comprehended, then, that it was Lara who opened the door. She was probably one of the few staff members you didn’t talk to. Though it was Lara who barely reached out to you. Sam had told you before who she was, but more specifically, who she was to Josh. She was the real reason Sam didn’t want Josh around you. Because apparently, Lara and Josh had a thing going on about 3 months before you arrived. Nobody quite understood whether they dated or not, but the thing happened and Josh dropped Lara basically from one day to the other. Nothing was ever talked about, but everybody (including Sam) believed she was still into him. Which kind of explained why she could feel some sort of resentment towards you. Though you considered it slightly childish, you let it pass.

But now she was standing right there, with no expression on her face as Josh’s almost naked body covered yours.

“What is it?” Josh spoke as he got tired of the weird silence. It surprised you how serious he looked.

“M-my camera. I need the camera” Lara replied, probably taken back by his sudden rude tone.

“Then take it”

You two followed Lara with your eyes as she awkwardly ran towards the bag of cameras and, as awkwardly, walked away. Before she could reach the door, Josh spoke again.

“Lara” He waited until the girl looked back at him. You were constantly staring in between the two of them, unsure of what was going on inside Josh’s head “You didn’t see anything, got it?”

You couldn’t even comprehend how Lara was feeling. You didn’t really like her, you had to admit. But the way Josh was talking to her, even you felt intimidated and he was not even talking to you. His whole regular personality disappeared, and now he looked much more serious than he ever had been. But all this madness went away the second Lara nodded and quickly disappeared off the room.

“Fuck, are you ok?” Josh asked, with a completely different tone all of a sudden. You nodded with a smile to calm him down. He stroked your legs, as an apology for the sudden interruption.

You stayed there for a while, just staring at each other. Though no words were spoken, all of both of your thoughts were so loud you could basically hear them. Something had just happened, and there was no turning back.

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well i did warn this was going to be long lmao thank u for reading!!