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tickety-boooo · 7 hours

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Restored Places

Summary: When Adam put the world back to rights he did a bit more for the bookshop and Bentley. When Heaven and Hell decide Crowley and Aziraphale can't keep them what Adam did comes to light. Cause Heaven and Hell won't get to take that pair from their bookshop and car.

Author's note: I have no clue if this is crack or what actually defines crack fic, but this definitely wasn't a serious fic at all and I am just having all the fun with it.

My idea for today: The bookshop and Bentley being places that can't be properly taken from of have Aziraphale or crowley blocked from because Adam restored these places for them specifically

/\/\

Aziraphale and Crowley didn’t notice it immediately, in fact they weren’t even the first ones to notice just how much power and connection Adam had put in when restoring their little parts of the world.

Crowley would claim later on that of course they would have done if they’d been safe going home as themselves, something would have told them in that moment. He’d be wrong and only admit to that when pointing out no angel or demon could recognise what was occurring when accused of doing it themselves.

Roughly a month after heaven and hell tried to kill Aziraphale and Crowley respectively they were each summoned again, invited in terms that clearly said they’d be kidnapped again if failing to attend.

The meetings were short and soon enough they were meeting at the duck pond from a quick call.

“Your car’s gone.” Aziraphale observed as Crowley came over, getting a nod.

Crowley glanced around, “And you’re no longer in your bookshop.” He agreed, sitting beside him as if the boxes of books weren’t going to need a continual miracle to maintain them outside for a while.

“Apparently it’s not allowed.” came the response. They didn’t talk more, watching the ducks together, silently assured they wouldn’t be alone now their primary shelter’s had been taken. Crowley wondered if he should be more annoyed about the flat than his car but decided holding a grudge over his Bentley was most important.

/\/\

Gabriel had only just assigned a new angel to watch over Earth, only finished telling Aziraphale an hour ago that “Get out of the bookshop. It’s Heaven’s embassy so you can’t stay there when not working for us.”

Now the angel he’d given the task to had appeared back in front of him. “Sorry Gabriel, but I can’t get into the bookshop.”

“What do you mean?” He demanded, already heading to the list to earth.

“Well I started getting it set up and had a few customers but as soon as I tried to complete a sale, the books were back on shelves, and I along with the customers were outside locked doors I can’t get to open again.” They explained hurrying along behind him.

Gabriel stared, face not quite shifting enough to frown, “Whatever Aziraphale’s done will be undone.”

/\/\

Hastur had taken the Bentley. He’d kicked Crowley out of the car with a sneer, “This was brought with Hell’s funds. You aren’t keeping it.”

He knew he probably wasn’t either and frankly didn’t want to have to spend more time on Earth as whoever replaced Crowley would need to.

He didn’t expect the car to throw him out as if it was suddenly alive, or drive off without anyone in it.

/\/\

“I come to see London and you’re in the wrong place.” Adam’s commanding voice called over to them.

Mr Young was hurrying after him saying something about there being other bookshops in London and asking how his kid knew where the owner was. “I need to learn about Chernobyl. You have books on that, right?” Adam asked, ignoring his Dad.

Aziraphale turned to look through his boxes, but blinked at the child having one of them in his arms. “Come on. This should be done in the bookshop.”

“You aren’t robbing this gentleman.” Mr Young caught up enough to call.

“I’m not Dad. We’re helping take these boxes over to their car. You do say I should do good deeds, right?” Adam soothed, ignoring that neither Aziraphale or Crowley had actually said anything to him yet.

Crowley was grinning between the former antichrist and the car that they could see pulling up to the pavement. “You boy should never be grounded ever again. He’s brilliant trouble.”

“Not sure how trouble can be a good thing but I’ll take that as advice from someone who’s clearly not a parent.” Mr Young grumbled, picking up one of the boxes. “Why’d you bring all your boxes over here anyway?”

Aziraphale sheepishly chuckled. “There was a miscommunication. What bookshop was your son trying to visit?”He asked, knowing it would seem odd for him to focus on Adam when his parent’s there. “I run one myself so might be able to help.”

“Of course you can. It’s your shop.” Adam stated, already having deposited the box he’d taken in the Bentley. “I know you’ve got something on nuclear power and I’m combining my history and science projects to learn about Chernobyl. You can help, right? I know books have been sold today.”

He offered a tight smile to the boy. “Let’s see what’s there once we’re back at the shop.”

As soon as they’d driven off in the Bentley Crowley burst out laughing, “That kid. That absurd, wonderful kid.”

“He better not expect me to actually sell him a book, no matter how helpful this is.” Aziraphale muttered, but had a smile on his face.

/\/\

Shax had thought that being in charge of spreading corruption on Earth would involve more temptations and suggesting evil deeds to people and far far less trying to locate a car.

Most of the times Hell contacted her began in a similar vein:

“And you say the car’s gone?” Whichever demon contacting her asked.

Shax would check from the flat’s window. “It just drove off so Crowley has it.”

“Bastard.”

She didn’t understand just what was so special about the car for Crowley to keep stealing it or Hell to keep trying to take it back. It was just a car.

/\/\

Crowley lounged on the cliff side near Wick, half watching Aziraphale attempt to be interested in the wildlife rather than the road they could just see. “You’d think they’d realise this won’t work by now.” He remarked, “No car or plants Six hundred miles from your bookshop and it’s still isn’t successful.

“It’s good for us that they don’t.” Aziraphale stated, before gesturing to the horizon, “Looks like our lift home is here.”

“Are you wondering how Adam accomplished this as much as I am?” Crowley asked, stretching as he stood. If he hadn’t been sure the Bentley would be fast to reach them he’d have curled on the cliffs as a serpent.

Aziraphale nodded, “Indubitably but I doubt we’ll get any answers over it.”

/\/\

Gabriel had grown bored of being told their attempts to replace Aziraphale had ended up with the bookshop kicking them out. “Uriel, go down with them and sort out this problem.” He ordered the fifth time he was told of it happening.

“We’ve tried that twice now. Whatever Aziraphale’s done has made the shop refuse any other occupant.” Uriel stated, making no move to follow the order.

“Then find him and make him tell us what he’s done.”

/\/\

If it wasn’t always against them then Crowley would be impressed at how easily they seemed to get Heaven and Hell working together, as it was, “Hi, welcome to Earth, are you having a pleasant visit?”

“We’re in disguise.” Uriel stated.

Beelzebub and Shax laughed, “As aliens? What makes you think that doesn’t stand out.”

“You all stand out in alien costumes or not. Why are you here?” Crowley asked, seeing Aziraphale finally put down the book he’d been reading. Once more they’d been dropped off in a random town at least 100 miles from London to try and separate them from the Bentley and bookshop but this time two angels and two demons remained.

“How are you getting the Bentley back? Why’z he still got the Bookshop?” Beelzebub asked.

Crowley lounged back against the bench. “Wasn’t us. Never devised it or do anything to cause it.” He dismissed, realising they wouldn’t ask anything interesting.

“There are human theories of items having a preference as to their owner. Perhaps they’re more truthful than I previously believed.” Aziraphale offered.

“Lies.” Uriel stated. “We know you did something.”

Crowley huffed, sitting up, “Nah. You know something was done. If it was any kind of miracle you’d know that, but you don’t.”

Shax moved as if to attack him, stopped by Beelzebub holding a hand up. “Maybe we should just destroy the car then.”

“You tried that already, last week. My neighbours were very concerned over the blast.” Aziraphale chided.

“And it’z ztill driving up the road towards us.” Beelzebub pointed. “What did you do?”

The pair shared a glance, “Not a clue, but it was Adam, not us, if anything was done.”

“The antichrist? What do you mean it was him?” Uriel asked, eyes narrowed.

Aziraphale turned to stand near the edge of the road. “In trying to stop the apocalypse my bookshop was burned down and Crowley’s car caught on fire. Adam restored them when he undid everything and since then you haven’t been able to prevent us from having them. It’s simple to reason that in the restoration he did something to make that so, but I couldn’t say what.”

Uriel looked to the angel Aziraphale hadn’t heard the name of, before nodding. “Then, we suppose, that you can be permitted to remain in the bookshop but it’s status as an embassy of heaven will be revoked”

“Guess we’ve not got the resources to keep taking the car from you. Shax had better start spreading evil and temptations instead.” Beelzebub decided.

“Bye then.” Crowley agreed, getting in the car before anything more could be said, Aziraphale already in it now it’d pulled up.

They drove in silence for a while, Aziraphale not even making a comment on the speed they were going.

“Let’s enjoy the peace now.”

/\/\

A week had gone since Aziraphale left to try and change heaven. Crowley had left Whickber Street only once when the annoyance at what had happened got too much.

Muriel hadn’t opened the shop except between midnight and 1am each night.

It was now midday and Crowley invited himself in readily, knowing that sooner or later he’d find his friend there.

“Oh I – Metatron said not to let you in.” Muriel said, hurrying over and gesturing back to the door.

Crowley almost cooed as he replied, “He says a lot of shit. Let’s see if the shop agrees with him.” The shop had never really shown a way to react to them, beyond apparently kicking people out but he’d never witnessed that, but here the rug tugged itself and him further into the shop, towards the chairs.

Muriel had begun speaking as this happened, “The shop can’t – Oh, so I can let you in?” She asked, blinking at the action.

“You’d have a job keeping me out. Need a few pointers keeping this place ready for Aziraphale to come back?” He offered, knowing she was basically just a pawn in the game being played.

“Yes please.” She easily agreed, only frowning a moment later. “He’s coming back?”

Crowley pointed out of the window. “That car follows the pair of us around since the last apocalypse that wasn’t. It got blew up last week and within an hour it had reformed. Aziraphale will be back.” He confirmed.

They’d never really tested to see if whatever Adam had done would impact themselves but the fact it still worked reassured Crowley that his friend would be back in the bookshop soon enough.

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