#i never thought i would do a long ass post about the devs

[kyistell]

I just cannot wait for the day Lindy Ruff is fired.

I am tired of having the tiny hope I have be taken away every damn game.

I am tired of seeing the players, who are clearly just dun not in the sense that they aren't trying but in the sense that they have gotten used to the disappointment that is this season, be exhausted every game, especially when players like Daws, L. Hughes and literally anyone else who is showing signs of stress clearly aren't playing in tiptop shape.

I am tired of Lindy sounded disappointed any time he is on screen, no matter if we do well or not that game, it's consistent disappointment and disinterest when I hear him talk and it sucks.

I am tired of New Jersey somehow finding a way to be a joke even in the sports world with our ONLY major professional, this team is many people only knowledge of Jersey and yet we are STILL a joke or something to just not be respected.

I am tired of every game where everyone is sure this just HAS to be Lindy's last game and yet somehow he is still there the next time we play, that somehow someway he probably won't be fired till the end of the season and EVEN THEN who knows if he actually will me.

I am tired and over it but I'll still be watching the games, I'll still be there when we lose once again, I'll still be there talking to Sky saying shit about how much I hate Lindy and how he is running this team into the ground, I'll still be complaining about Ruff to my parents because they have to know everything wrong going on.

I'll still be here because just because a team is doing shit doesn't mean you should drop it just because of that, that just shows you weren't actually a fan in my opinion.

I have far too much state pride for my own good because I genuinely love this state and love this team, so I'll stick through the good and the bad, continue to be slightly angry with myself for not being able to get into hockey last year when we were badass.

And I'll still be watching and eventually buy more stuff for the Devils because let's be real, the second that sales drop and the Devs aren't as popular the club isn't stay in Jersey, so might as well support the bastards ya know?

And hey, who knows, maybe one day we shall see Lindy gone and this team flourishing, but until then I'll just keep being sorta upset that we aren't doing as well as we can and drinking my problems away (this is a joke and I promise it's just water, Liquid Death specifically).

[reel-fear]

Genuinely so curious who Mike thinks is gonna be buying The Cage or the new DCTL GN bc with the way he tweets as far as he's concerned, it's not gonna be:

The queer people he has actively admitted he will never show any representation of in the games.

2. The POC he has actively fought against representing in his franchise. [Who he also mocked for thinking they would be represented in his franchise]

3. The Bendy fandom which has always been concerned with topics of diversity esp in the sense of queer people since its creation. Who he has responded to really poorly esp in regards to the GN.

4. The fans who critique him. [He blocked me for doing so lol]

5. His fans in general who he tweets about like this currently. [He's being vague about why people were mad at him or sent him 'nasty messages' because if you actually looked into why you'd see he was in the wrong. Either way, a very hateful way to speak abt ur own fanbase.]

Reminder while Mike is trash talking his fans he has always treated them rather poorly. The fans who won the fanart contest for Chapter 5 never got their posters actually in game due to it being rushed. Not only was chapter 5 a big slap to the face story wise, but it was literally so rushed he couldn't be bothered to add in the art his fans gave him for his game FOR FREE. [Meatly blames this on a crazy timeline, reminder him and Mike are the literal ceos of this company. The proposal of future updates here is also pretty cruel considering Mike nowadays happily admits he corrupted Chapter 5's source code and therefore literally can't update it At All currently. Because he is a moron]

At least they got to be in Boris and the dark survival, and by that I mean that was the Only game they got to be in so far, isn't that just treating your fans like you love them? Shoving their hard work into a spin off game almost nobody has played or addresses much. [Hell, who knows if with the Lone Wolf rebrand they'll even stay there. In which case they'll be in None of the games, only in the credits of BATIM]

6. The Bendy fans who just generally disagree with him on stuff. Like the new ink demon design where there is literally a public poll showing people generally prefer the old one.

7. The Bendy fans who can see he is actively lying to them. To their fucking faces.

He says this has always been the case, but screenshots and links to tweets regarding the books being canon prove it was not. Does he really think bendy fans are stupid or something? [Unless he's admitting here he lied to Kress when he told her the books were canon which sounds worse!]

8. Anyone who doesn't like the idea of giving money to a guy who laid off tons of employees then afterwards thought it was a great idea to express his anti-union views! Also brag about how good of an employer he was, according to his employees, he was not!

So in summary; Mike is an awful person who has not learned anything from the awful things he did. I will not be purchasing The Cage because, combined with this and his absolute refusal to take any kind of critique or see any differing interpretation of his franchise, I have no reason to think my problems with the franchise will ever be addressed or fixed. I probably will pirate The Cage along with any future Bendy Products [Including the movie] and will do my best to avoid giving it any kind of monetary support. Unless this changes any time soon, I can't see myself making anymore positive Bendy posts soon.

Mike has just managed to make it so hard to speak positively or optimistically of this franchise when he's so willing to broadcast how little he cares about it or its fans. I'm at the point where I refuse to pull any of my punches with my problems with it. What's the point of trying to play nice with my critique when either way the people creating it don't care?

So with this post, I want to invite anyone who feels similarly about the franchise to tell me, make a post or send an ask talking about how all of this makes you feel. It may not change how things are, but genuinely seeing other people share my feelings of anger makes me feel better. It feels nice to see when other people share our same concerns and worries. I'd also love to know if anyone else thinks they'll be avoiding purchasing Bendy products over this.

I'm not forcing anyone to participate in it nor trying to say anyone who doesn't supports mike but genuinely maybe if we can collectively decide to boycott things like the movie, graphic novel and The Cage... It might at least make the bendy devs acknowledge how much they have destroyed their own fandom's faith and trust in them.

The way Mike tweets about his actions like he had no control over why people were mad at him at least proves to me he takes NONE of it back nor regrets it. If you didn't know about his actions and only went off his tweets, you would be led to believe Mike has been needlessly picked apart by fans over things he couldn't control [or in his own words, had his words twisted and taken out of context]. That is not how you speak about your actions if you have actually learned better from them.

anyway, that has been my bendy dev callout post. This is an open invitation to anyone feeling similarly upset about the way the franchise is going to talk about it. It's genuinely nice to see how people feel about this and the more we talk about the more it's likely the bendy devs are forced to address our concerns. I don't think they will but hey, that's why I'm not gonna support them with my money anymore nor am I gonna be nice to them in any content I make critiquing Bendy. I mean I'm also basically making this post just in case anyone asks me Why I feel this way towards to bendy devs/as a way to respond to anyone who thinks I am too harsh in my critique in the future.

As always, it seems the best part of Bendy isn't actually anything about canon but about what the fan's are creating with the ideas Bendy failed to do anything interesting with.

Also the books, the books slap.

[hassianlovebot]

i've seen some people talk about einar's romance dialogue and how it feels offputting and rude to him but i'm gonna be honest,,, i never really saw it that way?

like i do agree that the player's dialogue options Suck compared to the other romances. something about it just feels really childish and definitely not as,,, "serious" or even committed as the other romance dialogue options. that being said, it never felt patronizing toward him.

to me, it feels like the player is just. being human. while einar is being galdur. the player doesn't get mad at him for not understanding certain jokes or not showing affection in the same way. and einar doesn't get uncomfortable with the player being human, making human jokes, or showing human affection. they're just Being Human and sharing their humanness with einar. which einar, while not always understanding of it, is completely used to and Does understand and enjoy it later on in the 3-4 levels. not that he didn't enjoy it before, but once you get closer to him, he Does understand more of the jokes and even joins in on certain ones (like the catch one!).

idk man it just always felt like the player and einar are just sharing their perspectives, personalities, and culture with each other. and of course there is the chocolate thing where he says he doesn't need it and the player has to learn what he actually wants from the relationship (ie spending time together). and there are still jokes that he ends up taking seriously, which yknow, that's kind of what i meant when i said the player's options often feel very childish compared to other ones. but it just never came off as patronizing to me, especially since einar repeatedly says that he enjoys spending time with the player and engaging in their "togetherness".

like to me it always felt like he enjoys learning about new things, even if he doesn't want to participate. like at the maji market when he says that while he doesn't understand the hotpot game, watching it fills him with "oneness". he enjoys learning about human and majiri culture and seeing them just be themselves! none of his dialogue implies that he's uncomfortable with the way the player shows affection (there Is something to be said about the dialogue options only ever showing one form of it,,, but tbf they can't put in 50+ options to cover the minutia of human brains lol)

idk i want to be clear im not shitting on anyone else's opinion on this!!! there's room for all perspectives here. i just wanted to share! i've seen SO many people say that romancing einar feels patronizing and like. i've just never seen it that way ! and it always confuses me when i see it akjhgd tbf i think some people are also neurodivergent (same lol) and don't appreciate the dialogue options that einar doesn't understand because in real life it Does feel patronizing when someone does it on purpose even knowing you won't get it. but for me, einar being galdur and not a neurodivergent human/majiri is an important distinction. he shows multiple times that he enjoys learning about human cultures and perspectives, that he enjoys talking to the player even when they don't understand each other, and that he's capable of understanding the player's jokes and sarcasm once explained to him. he Likes that they're different !

einar seems to enjoy the player acting "human" with him because he gets to learn about them! and he wouldn't want them stifle their true personality just to please him! einar is alllll about being true to yourself, your beliefs, your oneness, etc. he wants the player to understand him and his affection, but he also wants to understand the player's personality and affection. he wants them to share each other's "quirks". and don't get me wrong, i do wish there was more we could do to share in his way of affection (especially if his way is our way,,, like i'm Not flirty or jokey like that irl at all and i'd love to have more options where it really is just "hi i enjoy parallel playing with you :)))" lol) and that the dialogue options were less jokey or at least more affectionate/serious but idk,,, i think for me, i've just always seen einar as someone who wants to know and appreciate everything about the player, even the things he doesn't Immediately understand. he wants the player to explain things and share their culture with him SO bad

[heartfullofleeches]

Which of your yans would have their darling in their Sims with wicked whims installed? I honestly wouldn't judge, I make myself in the Sims to just to feel some love

It was brought up for Miller [Streamer Yan] in one older post of theirs. Unlike a certain bastard I'll mention next, Miller feels like a kid when their parents walk in on something they know they're probably shouldn't be doing and either covers their monitors with their hands when their darling walks in, closes the game, or simply unplugs their computer.

V's [Loser Yan] greasy rat ass will maintain eye contact with his darling while they're looking over his shoulder at their sims going at it. This fucker has never felt shame a day in their life and happily go back to playing with their sims as they please with darling standing in the background.

Brie [🌽star Yan] would have it before he got together with his darling - especially if they were long distance. It helps gives him food for thought when he's alone in his bed and wants to feel their touch. It sits in limbo when he finally has them with him, but always drags him back when they're away.

Devlin [Immortal Yan] - this old man (further context - Dev is physically in his twenties has been that age since the late 1800s bc he's immortal) thinks relaxing games like the Sims is for nerds, but tell him about that mod and it's suddenly one of his favorite games.

"You mean I can make these little characters who look like us fuck?! Move over, babes- I need to check this shit out!"

Calliope [Creep Yan] would download it one day out of pure curiosity- She's the kinda gal who'd play Sims religiously with her Sim and darling's happily living together as a couple. She enjoys mods that give things a somewhat more realistic feel and she would like to bed her darling someday so it feels justified. If darling finds out - she'll smash burn her computer in her backyard. She isn't a pervert! Just a lonely girl in love.

C.C [Incubus Yan] would claim it's below him and that someone else downloaded it on his computer, but catch him drunk, alone and missing his boo guess where his ass will be?

"Your sim can stay home from work and fuck mine, but you can't call off work for one damn day and spend time with me? I want cuddles and sex, damnnit!"

In theory, Amyas [Yan Cupid] little pervy self would love to play, but he probably couldn't figure out how to get it working without your help even with instructions and he'd be too shy/embarrassed to ask you.

Mono [Alien Yan] would look into it for "research purposes". They originally makes themselves for another angle on what their human form may look like, but their curiosity gets the better of them when they discover mods

Alien [Another Alien Yan A normal human guy] Would have it, but it gets lost amongst the sea of objectively funnier mods to mess around with like ones that'll give him/darling wings and other stuff like that.

[katyspersonal]

*voice of a guy who fails to be on hiatus even if he needs one* Hey, actually recently a topic of difficulty in Soulsborne games came up for me o: And I even had the pleasure of disagreeing with a person who was mature about their point of view! I just thought I'd make my own post, and for starters I want to link a video that lines up with my opinion on the matter very well too!

Despite what it might look like, I do not dwell on this guy's channel, but exclusively see his videos on Fromsoft's games x)

But personally, I agree with the notion that character's difficulty IS part of their lore too! That epiphany mostly came when I took over 70 attempts to defeat Malenia, who, I remind, "has never known defeat", so her being so hard at her lowest as she is falling apart was... very telling. There is a difference between just hearing the person is strong and feeling it yourself when they beat your ass, and I think this experience is a good thing to have!

There is also a selfish and possibly petty reason I have that is better described as "gatekeeping the normies". From my experience, most people who are upset at how hard these games are not genuinely invested fans that just don't vibe with having to die 600 times to learn more interesting lore but casual people who want to, as they call it, "consume currently popular media" to be able to create "relevant content" 🤦‍♂️ Wanting to be in the loop is just not what genuine investment and caring is about.

Miyazaki stated they were not adding difficulty levels because they wanted to present the challenge everyone would overcome in the style that fit them individually as a player! It feels like he is an indie dev without being an indie dev for me; caring not about attracting more players, but about giving experience he WANTS to give! Personally, it is exactly what I want from any creator - to be unapologetically themselves rather than trying to be convenient for more people! Some games are just not for everyone, and it is okay! Thing for everyone is a thing for no one, in the long run. Heck, I am so horrible at playing From's games that even my friends would laugh at me if they saw me streaming :/ What fits me as a player is to show resolve grinding stats (I listen to podcasts meanwhile xD), or coming up with absolutely insane strategies no normal person would come up with fshfhsd

At the same time, there is a large community of gamer dudes who not only defends absence of easy mode in these games more than I do, but also insist on creating artificial difficulty and will mock a fellow gamer for like using Mimic Tear or Comet Azur ffs. I do not go there, but people who built their self-worth on overcoming this challenge and thus feel personally attacked if someone plays the game with "imbalanced" weapons/builds, or, heck, creates and uses photo and deaggro mods. You can probably see from my posts that for me this sort of people is nearly like just a scary legend, when for others it is the reality they delve into and that ruins THEIR fandom experience.. so I suppose I don't miss much not touching Reddit and Youtube in 99% of the time 🤦‍♂️ But I think that gamer bros would ALWAYS find a way to be toxic. Had Fromsoft's games HAD an easy mode, they'd still play them and find another stupid way to gatekeep, difficulty is just currently available tool for it! As usual I think the problem is not on the developer, but on the community that twists what this developer did into something awful

I guess my stance basically goes 'creators should not change their philosophy because that's what creating should be, but the community that thrives on artificial difficulty and "correct" ways to play is bad and should be discouraged from this behaviour'

[pilots-log]

I think it's cool that y'all run a blog together. As someone in a DID system myself with introjects/fictives as well, I was wondering if you'd be willing to share a little bit about how you both differ from the game's canon, or how you're the same. I always find that interesting, since for us, it usually feels like a homogeneous blend of both. Also, I like y'all's art!

I really like this question, because honestly I haven't thought about this super hard aside from looking at something from the game and saying “That's wrong.” to myself.

The game itself almost feels like a caricature of my own experiences, which I guess makes sense since it's a game and wouldn't have the time to cover everything. It feels like an exaggerated and almost theatrical recount of what happened in some aspects. Most of the conversations depicted I remember going differently, and the Tulpar itself was a bit different too- more lived in I suppose. Like, for example, those stupid fucking Polle posters Pony Express plasters everywhere were only on the wall for the pre-flight inspection and were otherwise replaced. We never left those ugly ass things up for a whole flight, we only put them up when we were leaving and when we were docking because those were the only times corporate was looking. (That stupid statue is too inconvenient to move though)

But you were asking about differences with us in particular, not the Tulpar or other stuff, and that answer is more complicated. Obviously I can't answer for Curly because our memories differ but it's hard to answer for myself too.

Appearance wise my hair is a little darker shade of brown, my skin is more tan too. I'm less lean, my eyes are a silvery color (I can't remember what they were in game though, so that might be the same) We don't see most of my skin but I have a few scars here and there, including one on my stomach from an emergency appendectomy (Ow.) it's hard to think of physical differences because you really don't see much from that one outfit.

I see a bigger difference in how they portrayed- or didn't portray- my mentality and emotions. Things were a lot more complicated. I'd go into it but my half of the answer is already super long.

-♠️

I also like this question, and I think Jim got it down with the game/canon feeling like a caricature. It’s like adapting a book into an hour long movie, the events and characters are similar, but often times have less depth to them. If my memories were a book then that’s what it would be like.

The little bit of conversation and quips you get from canon-Curly I feel are pretty accurate to myself, and I look pretty similar too. I don’t think we get enough info on him pre-crash for me to say if I’m super different or anything— though if we’re going off of things the devs have said, I actually do like sweets. Whenever I eat out at a restaurant it’s almost a guaranteed I’ll order dessert and make whoever’s with me have some too, because life’s too short to not share a sweet treat with your friend after a nice dinner.

There’s also some differences between my injuries and medical junk post-crash, and in general a lot of stuff during that time was different. Jim was a lot more involved with my care than they portray too. Though my memory can only be so trusted from those couple months.

I find all of this interesting too, so if you want us to expand on anything then you’re always welcomed to ask!

-☀️

[jellazticious]

not a lot of sheriff love in the world (for various reasons to be fair); i would love to hear more thoughts on stefanos family if you have them 👀 ?

I don't know how to tell you this...

As sweet as Sugary Spire is, the dynamic with Stefano and his dads are the polar opposite with Pascal and his dads

Also under the cut, it's me throwing shade at Sugary Spire

For one, 90% of the SS characters are so dry in canon that it's hard to tell what their characteristics would be. It's so ironic that Rosette has five times the appearances compared to Noisette and yet I do NOT know her fucking personality. Most the Sugary Spire stuff posted are generic TROPES cuz no one knows how to write them, the only person who makes SS art and make it interesting is Heinzlike

Pizzano is kinda the only character who has a decent foundation with his traits. But the rest?? You're on your own LMAO

Like I don't even know what Sheriff does of imma be honest and my bucko Beefy has trouble writing Joan (Jude) also because of that. Me and him are doing EXTENSIVE RESEARCH about what the devs themselves provided of Sheriff and Gumbob and like???? THERE IS NOTHING

And so far all we got was having Sheriff be a shitty parent cuz of how cold and distant he is. It's so ironic that he's supposed to be Pepperman in Vigi's role but has none of Pepperman's charm nor that hospitality Vigi has. Like Vigi may have a resting bitch face but we are still shown that he's got a kinder side. Sheriff however? He's just perpetually pissed on every sprite he has.

Candied apples will give birth and straight up walk away just like Doof's parents jsksndkdkd

Secondly, with that being said, yeah Stefano has a shitty kinda divorced family. His ass is a one night stand love child cuz Pizzano rizzed the fuck out of the Sheriff cuz he did not want a speeding ticket. (also btw, regular Pascal is also an accident, the more you know sksksksksk)

Pizzano pays for the child support 😭

I'm so sorry I can't take this seriously jsnsndnd Sugary Spire has zero writing despite the visuals being so fucking developed it's hilarious. Like I'm so sorry, I never got into SS because I thought it was so boring and I was right now that I've looked into it. How did they make Pizzelle so stale??? How do you manage that???

But yeah ultimately, Sheriff is hella cold at Stefano, maybe even disappointed when he reminds him of Pizzano but like, he still kinda cares? It's just so hard to deal with a kid who's just so impulsive and stupid but like, he'd still show up when Stefano is deep shit. The feeling is mutual on Stefano's side. He plays hero in a musketeer outfit because it's a reminder that he still looks up to Sheriff

Pizzano on the other hand, he acts Stefano more like a super fan than a son. Like yes he cares but not in the way you'd think. They're the same level dense and stupid but not that Stef minds it, he does enjoy spending time with his fun dad more. But again, not to discredit Pizzano's genuine love tho, he is just so shit at showing it and hella busy with uhhh whatever he's doing. Is he a showman like Noise??? I don't knowwwwwwww

But yeah in Stefano's adulthood, Sheriff kicked him out his house, Pizzano let's him bunk in his place and maybe hired him as a stage hand/prop maker so he can have a reason to have Stef stay.

He made his costume and his weapons but he's still a little shit that he just does not want to share his props. Most of them are fake but that sword is jery much real and metal

Lmao the only reason why I was able to write Stefano was because he's a lone wolf who does not need the influence of the other characters

Oh one last thing, Stefano's full name is not as long as Pascal's. The sole reason why it was that long to begin with was because of Pepperman. But since Sheriff did not have that same pop nor wanna deal with Stef, it was Pizzano who did the naming. He is also called Stefano because there is no "Pascallis" in the full name.

Paciano Stefano Royales Creampuff

[rashs-silly-little-games]

Game Dev Year in Review 2024

Hey folks! Its been a very busy and very fucked up year, hasn't it? Can't wait for it to be over! This isn't about my personal life, though, this is about games! Things I've learned, and things I've actually gotten done! I'll mostly either be linking to things and giving brief descriptions about each thing, so if you want to learn more, click into the other posts! Let's get started, shall we? FARM FPS PROTOTYPE At the beginning of the year, I made a prototype for a Farming game mixed with Tower Defense and FPS DNA! Out of everything I did this year that ended up on the "maybe I'll think of something or find the assets for it" list, this was definitely one of the ones I'm proudest of! It was the only thing this year that I both learned a lot from, and that i was confident I could get worked out without a reasonable amount of banging my head off a wall! The feedback I got from friends was generally positive as well. It's on the list of stuff I want to flesh out, for sure.

MAKING A GAME ON A STEAM DECK

This ended up being a video, and I never ended up making a blog post about it, but when I had gotten my steam deck in the middle of the year, I had tried to make a full game for a game jam on it! I ended up scrapping the game midway through due to having to nurse an arm injury i got through work, but the conclusion was that making a game on the steam deck is very possible! Just make sure you set yourself up first at a desk with peripherals and not just using the deck by itself.

MULTIPLAYER CAR GAME PROTOTYPE

Over the Summer, I had the idea to start working on something with multiplayer, and inspired by a friend and I's semi-frequent return to Fortnite, I thought it would be fun to have a little multiplayer car arena game! Or so I thought. Turns out, Multiplayer programming is really, really hard! I had been fooled by the documentation into thinking that it was going to be mostly straightforward. It wasn't. I had fun making stuff work, and getting my friends onto the server to playtest the first real network test with me, but other than that, not sure if I want to return to this without re-starting learning it from the ground

DEAD RINGER | MAKING A HORROR GAME IN ONE WEEK!

After failing and failing and failing to get my prototype together, I had decided enough was enough and I wanted to make something I knew for sure I could finish. I picked a game jam and rolled with it, and I came out with this; Dead Ringer! A small game about surviving the night with a monster that gets angry at noise in the mansion. Huge shoutouts to all my friends for being there and pushing me to the finish line, and for helping with bits and pieces! In the end, this project got a #4 overall placement in the jam, and barring a few bugs, I'm very proud of it! I wonder if it's worth revisiting…

FORTNITE CREATIVE WEEKLONG BENDER

There was a point in the last month where I was so burnt out on life and so tired of not feeling like I can get into any groove, and at the suggestion of a buddy, decided that Fortnite Creative was to be my new outlet. It didn't last long, but was an interesting use of my time! Genuinely, I came out of it pretty positively! The short of it is that Fortnite Creative lets you make stuff without needing to do much thought; Epic provides a lot of tools for people to make custom game logic without needing to open up and learn anything about Verse if they don't want to. I was impressed by the ease of use of Creative, but just as equally turned off when I tried to use Verse. I wish everything would just use standardized languages, like C# or Lua or something.

That's it, that's the whole year! I learned a lot this year, and I'm hoping that the next year has a lot of fun game development stuff in store for me! I also hope to make more stuff, try to kick my ass in gear a little more so my posts aren't too far apart from each other. Thanks for reading, and see you all next year!

[videogaems]

Steam Next Fest Wrap-Up - February 2024

Another Steam Next Fest has passed us by, the triannual week wherein Valve play the role of the Specialists in 2001 box office hit A.I. Artificial Intelligence. For one brief, fleeting week, we allow ourselves to fall in love, hate, or 'meh' with dozens of upcoming game demos before they go away to the place where dreams are born: behind a green button with a shopping cart reading 'Purchase'. After our magical week, around 10 AM, Pacific Standard Time, we Haley Joel Osments grow out our beards, and fade back into the monotony that is trying to figure out what to play tonight - At least until Balatro drops.

All kidding aside, I've come to really look forward to Steam Next Fest; it always adds a few more items to my Wishlist, and introduces me to some neat stuff. Given, a lot of those Wishlist additions will surely become Notifications in my email of the game going on sale dozens of times until I decide it's cheap enough to pull the trigger, or until I fess up to myself that I simply won't have the time to play it. Even so, this fest was honestly a real banger, and I wanted to talk about some of the games I played so bad that I started a blog.

So, since nobody asked, here are the demos I played during this Next Fest, and some thoughts I had regarding them.

Lightyear Frontier

I think I first heard about this game at Gamescom, or the Cozy Games Showcase at Keigh3, or possibly one of the other dozens of occasions where video games get announced. Even though the trailer I saw was one of those cringey ones where several family friends of the Devs talk to each other over gameplay footage as if they were playing the game together, it went on my wishlist basically immediately. It's a farming game, but you pilot a big mech, and for some reason, blue-collar-sci-fi is absolutely my shit. My only sort of eye-squint at this was the fact that once you're inside your mech, you pretty much never need to leave it. Sleeping, crafting, exploring, all of it can be done from the comfort and safety of a repurposed five ton war machine. Though I do love the idea of a big ass mech suit snuggling up with that seventeen foot afghan grandma crocheted for you.

Coffee Caravan

I've always delighted in the idea of running a coffee shop, but I've never done it because this is probably what it would feel like. Set your mobile artisanal coffee pop-up... well... UP, and prepare to dash around filling customer orders. It's like Overcooked but with coffee, and resulting in less divorce. Games like these do tickle a part of my brain but the rushed nature inherent to them always turns that tickle into a jabbing kind of motion, a most unpleasant feeling as far as brains are involved. I tapped out after I failed to serve a customer, a customer who I could tell never worked food service because he sat himself down at a table with dirty dishes. Between trying to clean those dishes, make his coffee, and just finding a spot to set shit down, he got pissy and left. Better decaffeinated than served a tall glass of dishwater, I suppose - I've been saying that my whole life.

I've been meaning to finish this post so long that now it's time for the next Next Fest but here are the games I played in February:

Pacific Drive

Star Trucker

Children of the Sun

Rotwood

Harold Halibut

Lunistice

Vapor World: Over the Mind

NeverGrave

Yet Another Fantasy Title

Pepper Grinder

INDIKA

Helskate

Infest

Circle Hitter

#BLUD

DICEOMANCER

Copycat

Dungeon Inn

Balatro

Trash Goblin

Breachway

Mullet Mad Jack

TerraTech Worlds

[bi-bi-buckleydiaz]

deep breath, do your job | owen joyner

requested; yes! - Could you do a Owen x reader where the reader is Owens personal assistant while filming JATP and while they are filming the reader starts catching feelings for Owen but Owen is in a relationship. Owen and his girlfriend breakup and the reader comes over to comfort Owen and Owen confesses that the reason him and his girlfriend broke up was because of the reader.

word count; 6.4K ... yeah kinda got away from me there. longest fic i’ve ever written

warnings; language, implied sexual content but no actual sex or description thereof

a/n; lol, so i just wrote from 1AM - 4AM because i’m procrastinating my child dev. project thats due today that’s worth a quarter of my grade. i really didn’t mean for this to be so long so it’s probably not this good and the ending is a lil’ rough, but oh well. hope whoever requested this likes it. i kinda do even though it’s long and only slightly proofread.

“Owen Patrick Joyner! Get your ass into hair and makeup before - oh, um, okay oops. Sorry ‘bout that. Should have knocked. I’ll just - yep, i’ll just go.” 

You thought he’d be sleeping. It’s nap time for him anyway, so he should’ve been sleeping. Instead, your technically boss and definite crush, was on his trailer couch with a girl you’ve never seen before. Kissing her. Without a shirt. Yeah, you definitely need to get out of there. 

You’re quick to close his door and begin to walk back to the hair and makeup trailer to tell them Owen will be a minute. 

“Y/N! Hey! Wait up! It’s um, it’s not, well it is, but -” He grabs your arm, causing you to turn around and face him, which, big mistake. Abort. Abort. Turn around. His post make out face is something you did not want to see. Liar.  

“It’s fine Owen. What you do in your free time is not my, well, actually it is since i’m your PA, I just mean who - WHAT, what you do in your personal time, in your trailer, is not my concern. Just, you’re needed in hair and makeup like, an hour ago. So, yeah, just, get there.” You stumble over half your words and watch his face fall as you near the end of your spiel. When he lets go of your arm you’re quick to turn around and leave him alone, walking right past hair and makeup and to set where you can curl up in your chair and eat your weight in brownies, if Madi hasn’t taken them all that is. You hope he goes to get his hair done. You know you should walk with him there because if you’re not practically dragging him to where he needs to go he never gets there on time, as just witnessed. But it’s usually because he’s goofing off with Charlie, not sucking face with a random girl. 

You don’t notice the brownie in your hand has crumbled until a whistle comes from behind you. You turn around a little too quickly, sending the brownie bits flying to the floor. 

“Shit.” You kneel down to begin picking it up, another hand coming into help. Charlie, based on the rings adorning the fingers. 

“Is Owen’s keeper okay?” You huff a laugh at the name the cast gave you a week into filming. You’re the only one who has managed to keep Owen in line since filming started, the only reason he’s ever on time for anything or actually has real food in the apartment or has his drumsticks when needed, etc. etc. 

The boys didn’t want PA’s when Kenny proposed it during bootcamp, they were young adults, they didn't want to boss someone around, it felt wrong. But having more experience than the boys, Kenny vetoed how they felt and told them PA’s would help tremendously, especially on a project like this. That’s where you came in. You were trying to get into the directing and producing scene in Hollywood, you’re dream to be as good a director as Steven Spielberg or, well, Kenny Ortega. But you knew you had to start small, so you applied for a PA job on an upcoming Netflix show, getting hired within the week. Now here you are, a nineteen year old being in charge of another nineteen year old who acts more like he’s five. 

In the beginning, it was purely professional. You were nothing more than his PA who got him from place A to place B in a timely fashion. But then he started to rope you into pranks with the rest of the band. He started inviting you to movie nights, and adventures to the grocery store, and ice skating with Charlie and Madi, and somewhere between helping him keep his life in order and watching him fall on his ass at the ice rink, you fell for the blonde. You know it’s a mistake, falling for him. You work for him. He’s your friend. That’s all he sees you as, but you couldn’t help it. But you’re good at compartmentalizing, so you took all the inappropriate feelings, shoved them in a box, locked the box, and hid it deep in your unconscious. You were doing well with ignoring the box, until you walked in on Owen kissing someone that wasn’t you. 

“I’m fine Charlie, just, stressed. Owen was an hour late to hair and makeup so I kinda feel like a shit PA right now.” Charlie chuckles and hugs you as you both stand up. 

“Please Y/N, you’re the best PA. If it weren’t for you, Owen would never know where anything is, including his head.” You laugh into his shoulder, reveling in the hug for a few more seconds. When you part, you see a flash of blonde enter the set and sigh in relief. He made it. He’s ready. You’re not fired today. 

Just incredibly confused and upset. 

But not fired.

“You better go, I know you’re in this scene with Owen.” Charlie nods and squeezes your shoulder once before running after Owen onto the set that holds Julie’s shed. Taking a deep breath, you try to push whatever the hell you saw ten minutes ago into your box, and get ready for the day ahead. 

Four hours, six brownies, and two cookies later, Owen is officially wrapped for the day, meaning you can go home and continue to eat your feelings in ice cream. You’re quick to grab your binder full of Owen’s schedules to drop tomorrow’s off at his trailer before he sees you. You’re not really in the mood to talk to him about what happened earlier, so you fast walk to his trailer, fully intent on just leaving the paper on his counter where he’ll see it, but a brown haired, green eyed girl throws that plan right out the window. 

You’re so stupid. You should’ve known she would still be here. Waiting. 

“Oh, um, hi.” She says. She sounds nice. She looks nice. But when you look at her all you can see is her hands in Owen’s hair and his lips on hers. 

“Hi.” You don’t know how, but you managed to put on a smile and put a little pep into your voice. “I’m Ashley. I’m waiting for Owen. Is he done?” You nod, not trusting your voice as you stand awkwardly in the doorway, one foot on the step the other in the trailer, hand outstretched ready to place the schedule on the table. 

“He just wrapped for the day. Should be here in a few.” The girl - Ashley - nods. 

“You’re Y/N, right? His personal assistant?” How does she know that. She giggles, “He talks about you all the time. Says the only reason he’s not fired or dead in a ditch is because of you.” OH, you said that aloud. Coolcoolcoolcoolcoolcoolcoolcoolcoolcoo-

“Y/N! What are ya doing just standing in the doorway?” Fuck. You put a smile on and turn around. He’s smiling softly at you, still in Alex’s clothes, twirling those damn drumsticks around his fingers. 

“Um, just dropping tomorrow’s schedule off. Here. Okay...bye.” You walk down the steps, letting the door shut behind you, fully intent on leaving, but Owen grabs your arm again, just like earlier, causing you to stop and turn to look at him. 

“Wait. Can we talk real quick. About...earlier?” No. No absolutely not. 

“Um, I really have to go. I have a lot to do tonight for tomorrow.” Owen sighs and lets go of your arm, face contorting into that of a sad puppy. 

“Just, one minute Y/N. Please. Let me explain.” Screw him and his perfect freaking face. 

“A minute.” His face lights up and grabs your hand, leading you back into his trailer, smiling even wider at seeing Ashley sitting pretty on the couch. 

“Y/N, this is Ashley, my girlfriend.” Ashley smiles and waves, standing up to stand by Owen and grab his hand. A rock settles in your chest at the word. 

Girlfriend. 

Girlfriend. 

Girlfriend. 

“Nice. I’m Y/N. But you knew that. Just like you also know I’m in charge of getting him to places on time. Which didn't happen today.” Owen’s face flushes at that while Ashley terribly hides a smirk behind her hand. 

“Uh, yeah, sorry about that Y/N. She surprised me today. We weren’t supposed to see each other until Thanksgiving but she finished classes early and flew out to surprise me. Kinda got, caught up in -” His face is beat red so you’re quick to cut him off. 

“It’s fine. Just, try not to get ‘caught up’ tomorrow, yeah?” It’s harsh and full of hostility, but you want to leave, the word still bouncing around in your head, swirling around the scene you walked into earlier. 

Girlfriend. 

Kissing. 

Girlfriend. 

Flushed face. 

Girlfriend. 

Kissing. 

“I have to go. See you tomorrow on set at 5 Am. Got it? Five A M. Don’t make me break into your apartment again. I almost got arrested for that.” Owen is still reeling from your harsh words said a second ago to laugh at the memory. Ashley however, has no qualms about speaking up. 

“Don’t worry. I’ll make sure he’s here on time.” She smiles and wraps around his arm like a koala. You hold back a scoff, throwing up a fake smile before turning and leaving. 

Girlfriend. 

Girlfriend. 

Girlfriend. 

It’s almost midnight.

It’s 11:48 PM and someone is knocking on your door. 

Who the fuck is pounding on your door at near midnight. 

You shuffle to the door wrapped up in your comforter, wiping the sleep out of your eyes. You don’t bother looking through the peephole, too angry at the person behind the door to bother, just wanting to yell at them and get back to bed. 

“What the - Charlie?” He looks exhausted, hair ruffled and eyes puffy. He’s in joggers, a random band tee and his denim jacket. You’re pretty sure his shoes are on the wrong feet. 

“Can I stay the night?” He doesn’t wait for your response before walking into your apartment, flinging his shoes and jacket off and walking to your room. You sigh, ignoring the way he just threw his stuff around and instead follow him to your room before he takes your side of the bed. You walk in just as he chucks his shirt off and woah. You were so not expecting that. An explanation as to why he’s here at midnight? Yeah. Him taking your side of the bed? Definitely. But not Charlie taking his shirt off and crawling onto the right side of the bed and curling around a pillow. You take a moment to collect yourself and your thoughts before crawling into bed next to him, making sure to drape the comforter over him as well. He hums in content and turns around to face you. 

“Sorry for barging in like this. Just, ugh, Owen and that girl are not quiet if you catch my drift.” And it’s like the rock in your heart is now a boulder and it’s crushing your ribcage. You can’t breathe. You can’t think. You’re frozen, staring at Charlie’s half asleep face. “Like I get it, you’ve missed each other. But c’mon bro I’m there too.” He keeps talking. Keeps pushing the boulder until all the ribs crack and puncture your lungs. “There’s somethings in this world I never wanted to hear, and Owen moaning was one of them.” He won’t shut up. Charlie shut up. You’re entire chest is fracturing, breaking at his words and he needs to shut. up.

“I didn’t really know where else to go, but I remembered how comfy your bed was last movie night so, here I am.” His voice is raspy, words slurring as he’s trying to fight sleep to explain to you why he’s here. But you can’t focus on him right now. Can’t think about a shirtless Charlie in your bed. There’s only one thing you can think about right now. 

Girlfriend. 

Shirtless. 

Girlfriend. 

Kissing. 

Girlfriend. 

“Thanks for letting me crash by the way. I’ll try not to kick you in my sleep.” He chuckles, then finally opens his eyes when you don’t laugh back. You don’t know how you look right now. You know you’re frozen. But is the panic and pure sadness showing on your face? It must be, because suddenly Charlie is wide awake and leaning up on his elbow to look at you fully. “Y/N are you okay?” He’s worried. You want to tell him you’re okay. It’s fine. Everything is fine. But you can’t move. You can’t talk. Because reality is crushing you. It’s ripping up your heart, suffocating you, consuming your mind. 

Owen isn’t yours. 

Owen will never be yours. 

You’re just a friend. 

You’re just his PA. 

That’s when the tears finally start. They come slowly, one trailing down your cheek, then another. Then all at once your sobbing into Charlie’s chest, no doubt getting snot all over him. But he doesn’t seem to care. He just starts to hum some random song while he repeatedly runs his hand over your hair, the other holding you close to him. He keeps humming, his chest vibrating and giving you something to focus on that isn’t your depressing thoughts. It’s almost soothing, the petting and the hug and the humming. 

You don’t know how long you sob into him, but when you stop, his humming stops too. He still holds you close, just lets go of your head so you can lean back a little and look up at him. He’s brows furrow in concern and he pouts at your post-crying face. 

“Are you okay? Am I really that bad of company?” He tries for funny but you can’t bring yourself to laugh with him. Just pout and push his semi-wet chest. “Seriously Y/N, i’ve never seen you like this. What’s wrong?” Those two words. 

What’s wrong?

What’s wrong? I fell for my boss and now he’s doing it with some girl and I can’t stop thinking about them and it’s killing me because before I could live with being his friend and PA because at least there was some sliver of a chance but now there’s nothing because he has someone and I have no one and I can’t breathe because oh my god I love him. I love that stupid fool and i’m nothing but his personal assistant. 

It’s quiet for a minute, too quiet, and that’s when you realize you said all that out loud. You look up at Charlie, which was a mistake because his face is full of pity. It’s all sad puppy eyes and “Shit Y/N i’m so sorry.” A fresh wave of tears make their way out of your eyes, but Charlie is quick to wipe them away. 

“Y/N I didn’t know I’m so sorry. I wouldn’t have said all of that, God I was so stupid.” And then it’s like a whole new flood gate opens, this one full of laughter though. You start with a chuckle, but soon it’s full out belly laughing. Because Charlie isn’t the stupid one here. “I’m the stupid one. I mean, how idiotic does a PA have to be to fall for the one they’re in charge of? Never mix work with pleasure. It’s PA-ing 101, don’t fall for your boss. I’m so fucking stupid to ever fall for him or think he’d like me back because i’m just his stupid PA who has no talent what so ever, never has a good hair day, can’t go a day without eating their weight in sugar, and will never see him again after filming is wrapped.” Your laughing dies down by the end, and then ends completely when you see the look on Charlie’s face. It’s not exactly pity, but it’s not exactly sadness either. It’s hard to describe what exactly it is, but it’s not good. 

“Y/N. Babes. I don’t ever want to hear you talk about yourself like that again, okay? I swear to God next time I hear anything like that come out of your mouth again, I’m hitting you with a pillow.” You giggle, but he stays serious. “Dead ass Y/N. Listen, was it probably not the smartest to fall for Owen? Yeah. But you didn’t know he had someone. I didn’t even know he had a girl and I’m his roommate. But, we can’t help who we like. It’s all brain chemistry and heart palpitations and whatever else. It’s something we can’t control. So don’t say you’re stupid because of something you can’t control.” 

“You’re being really smart and caring for twelve am.” You both chuckle, a real smile gracing your face for once in the past twelve hours. 

“I’m sorry for the breakdown it’s just, there’s a lot in my head right now and what you said really didn’t help.” Charlie sighs and pulls you in close. 

“I’m sorry babes. You should’ve slapped me or something.” 

“I probably would’ve had the breakdown at some point tonight anyway.” Charlie pulls back a bit to look at you, confusion on his face. “I kinda walked in on them making out earlier when Owen was late to hair and makeup.” 

“Is that why you crushed that brownie earlier?” You sigh and nod. 

“Y/N, i’m sorry. I’m so sorry you have to go through this.” 

“It’s fine Charlie. It’s, well, it’s not but, I’ll get over it. I’m a big girl. Besides, I have you to get my tears and snot all over right?” He groans while you giggle, but he isn’t really mad if the way he pulls you close and rests his face in your hair is any indication. 

“Always babes.” 

The next day you drive to set with Charlie who didn’t have to be on set at five like Owen, but joined you nonetheless. Taking his duty as your new ‘heartguard’ as he called it last night, you walk to hair and makeup with his arm around your shoulders. It’s comforting, even though he’s putting most of his weight on you because he’s exhausted, the coffee you gave him this morning clearly doing nothing to wake up. 

“Charlie, you could’ve stayed in bed until you were actually needed.” You laugh as he trips up the steps to the trailer, nearly face planting if it weren’t for you wrapping your arms around his waist last minute. 

“Char you good?” You hear BooBoo ask. Charlie grumbles something incoherent and shoves his face into your neck as you lean against the arm of the couch. BooBoo laughs, so do you, but quickly sober up when Owen walks in, Ashley on his arm. Charlie must have ESP or something because, without looking up at who walked in, he wraps his arms around your waist and murmurs in your ear, “Deep breaths. I’m here.” You do as he says, shooting Owen a friendly smile, but dropping it as he frowns at you. 

What is that about? 

“Glad to see you on time Owen. I wouldn’t have been able to break in this morning anyway because an octopus decided to break into my own apartment last night.” You ruffle Charlie’s hair as you say that and he grumbles some more, playfully biting your neck as well. “Ow. Asshole.” Owen frowns even deeper at that, while BooBoo chuckles. He get’s scolded a second later for moving. 

“So that’s where you disappeared to last night. I was wondering why you weren’t home this morning.” Owen’s voice is tight while he says it, Ashley noticing as well if the tightened grip on his arm is anything to go by. Charlie squeezes your waist as a way to say, ‘prepare yourself’ before he moves his head to lean against your shoulder so he can talk. 

“Yeah well, I wouldn’t have had to if you and your girl weren’t so freaking loud.” You tense up, mind starting to reel again, but a squeeze to your waist and a warm breath on your neck manages to bring you back. The trailer goes quiet, even the hair and makeup ladies tensing up and sensing the tension. Charlie, ever the wrong place, wrong time type of guy, grabs your hand and places it on his hair, then moves it back and forth. 

“Pet me.” Despite the tension in the room, you can’t help but giggle at the stupid Canadian boy wrapped around you. Apparently that’s all the rest of the people in the trailer needed to go back to what they were doing. That or they just didn’t want to get involved in young adult drama. You shoot a look at Owen, his jaw tense and hands clenched into fists. Completely ignoring the way Ashley leans up to kiss Owen’s neck, you open your phone and begin to read off his schedule for the day, your left hand still running through Charlie’s hair. 

“Hair and makeup at five AM, sit your butt down and let Shelly do her thing, costume fitting right after. First scene at six-thirty with BooBoo, you guys are doing the scene at the Orpheum where you talk about what’s been going on, you’re going to be sad so this whole frowny face you got going on? Keep it. A break after that then rehearsal with Charlie, Jer, and Mads for Stand Tall. Fitting for the Stand Tall suit is after that, but no actual filming for that scene yet, just getting the measures right so after that, you’re done for the day.” You take a deep breath after all that, BooBoo whistling at you from his seat. 

“You could be an auctioneer with how fast you talk.” You smile and bow your head at him.

“I’ll take that as a compliment Boo.” He shoots you a smile and then raises his hand to high five Owen as he sits next to him. Owen ignores him. In fact, he stays silent throughout all of getting his hair and makeup done. Only smiling occasionally when Ashley shows him a meme on her phone. You watch them, the boulder in your chest rolling around as you do so. But not for jealousy, no, for concern. Owen is acting very unlike himself. You may be upset right now, especially with him, but it doesn’t mean you still don’t see him as a friend; still don’t worry about him. Something is wrong, and you can’t help but feel like it’s your fault. 

“So did it work?” You jump in surprise at the voice behind you, the cookie in your hand crumbling and falling onto the table. 

“Charlie! What did I say about sneaking up on me?” You turn to look at the boy who is smiling too wide at you for you to think this is about to be a completely innocent conversation. 

“Did it work?” He’s practically vibrating where he stands.

“Did what work?” 

“The cuddling this morning? Didn’t you see Owen? He was totally jealous.” And - what? That’s why he was so touchy this morning? 

“I just thought you were tired, that was - you were trying to make Owen jealous? Charlie what the hell? He has a girlfriend!” Charlie rolls his eyes and loops his arm around yours, dragging you away from the cookies and towards the costume room. 

“Yeah, but we both know she shouldn’t be. And the way he was acting this morning? I think he’s starting to realize that too.” There’s no way...right? No, the way Charlie described last night...no. 

“No, okay, he was probably just tired and angry about having to be here so early.” Yeah, that’s it. He was not jealous of the friendly cuddling you and Charlie were doing. Totally...not. Holy shit. You hear Charlie giggling in your ear as you enter costume. 

There, in front of you, is a very shirtless, very toned, very pretty Owen Joyner.

“You’re welcome.” Then Charlie is off to God knows where. Leaving you alone with Owen. Well, not really alone since Soyon is here too, running around looking for different fabrics and textures to throw on Owen. A still very shirtless Owen. 

“Oh, hi Y/N. What are you doing here?” Owen asks, looking at you though the floor length mirror in front of him. He’s not smiling at you, but he’s not frowning either, so improvement from this morning. 

“Oh, um, just making sure you got here on time. And look at that. You did! Good job.” You clap, who knows why, but it makes Owen laugh, which, whew, okay. 

“Yeah, I reminded him.” A voice behind you says. You turn and look at Ashley walking in, coffee cup in hand. She bounces up to Owen, ignoring Soyon and placing a big, wet kiss onto his lips before moving to the couch off to the side. Owen seems shocked by the PDA, which makes sense, you know he’s not big on that, remembering one late night conversation you both had a few weeks ago. 

“Anyway, Y/N, how does this one looks. I think the ruffles are nice. And then when he’s performing Stand Tall we can,” and then she begins to unbutton the shirt all the way down to mid chest and okay, seriously Soyon, now you just want to torture me. 

“I like this.” Owen says, twirling in the mirror like a ballerina. This causes the shirt to fling open more, showing his chest more in the process.

Deep breaths. 

Be a friend. 

You’re a big girl. 

“Yeah. It’s good,” you say, walking over to him to tuck to the sides back together somewhat. “Are you going to keep with the pink theme for the jacket?” Soyon smiles and nods, walking away for a minute leaving you alone with Owen and Ashley. 

“Should it really be unbuttoned that much? I mean, it is a kids show? I don’t want to share my boy with fangirls.” Ashley says. You can’t stop your eyes from rolling or the scoff that leaves your mouth. You watch Owen’s Adam's apple bob as he gulps. 

“Please, Charlie is sleeveless for a majority of the show. Owen showing a little chest isn’t gonna hurt anyone. Besides, Soyon chose good. The way the shirt fits and settles it’s never going to open all the way. Unless, ya know, he twirls like some Carolynn Rowland wannabe.” You smile up at Owen and inhale sharply when you see he’s already looking down at you. “And with the jacket on it’ll stay put pretty well.” You’re still holding the shirt in your hands, looking at Owen’s face as you talk. For a second, it’s just you and him, looking at each other, smiling. Then Soyon comes back and clears her throat. The trance breaks and you back up. You wipe your sweaty hands on your jeans before backing up and standing next to the mirror. You feel eyes on you and look over to see Ashely glaring at you. 

“Here we go. One pink jacket to match.” Owen slides it on and smiles wide. You have to say, it looks good. Professionally speaking of course. 

“Soyon, have I ever said how freaking amazing you are. I mean, this is really good looking. Very Alex.” Owen praises. He’s smiling and it’s a nice sight after this mornings debacle. 

“Alex is going to be the best looking one on that stage.” Owen looks over at you, his smile still there, and the boulder shrinks three sizes. 

“Still think the shirt should be buttoned.” Ashley mutters. But everyone ignores her, even Owen, who does another twirl in front of the mirror. 

“Well then, you’re all set Owen. Go ahead and change and I’ll see you tomorrow.” Soyon leaves, going off to do costume designer things, leaving you alone with Owen and Ashley again. Owen takes the jacket off, then looks around not knowing what to do with it. You sigh and smile softly, taking it from him.

“Here, just give me all the clothes and i’ll take them back to your rack.” He smiles thankfully at you, before frowning again and looking down at his outfit. Getting what he’s thinking, you chuckle and cross your arms. “Bub I just saw you shirtless it’s not a big deal. Now c’mon, give me the clothes before Soyon thinks you’re stealing them.” Owen looks up at you in a way you’ve never seen him look at you before. It makes you take a sharp breath in.

“Maybe you should go. I can give the clothes to Soyon. Don’t you have assistant duties to do?” Ashley is right next to you as she says it. It makes your ears hurt and hands clench. You’re quick to unclench though, not wanting to wrinkle the nice pink jacket. Ashley moves forward to unbutton Owen’s shirt all the way, but he grabs her hand before she can begin. 

“Actually I need Y/N to stay. I have to talk to her about some, ya know, assistant stuff. And besides, she knows where Alex’s rack is and that’s where the clothes have to go. Why don’t you go wait for me in the trailer, I’ll be there in a few.” 

I need Y/N to stay. 

That shouldn’t make you feel as warm and tingly as it does. 

Ashley scoffs and looks away, clearly trying to guilt trip him. Owen sighs and kisses her cheek.  

“Trailer. Ten minutes.” Ashley sighs before nodding and finally leaving. He watches her go, then turns back to you when she finally disappears. You clear your throat and he looks back at you, face a bit red. 

“Um, hey.” You chuckle. 

“Hi.” He nods, and you sigh, walking so you’re right in front of him. “Seriously, O, you need to get this off because if they’re not on the rack for Soyon to fix up by the end of the day it’s my head on a stick, not yours.” Then you’re unbuttoning his shirt. 

You’re unbuttoning. His shirt. You don’t realize you’re doing it until you hand grazes his navel when you untuck it from his pants. You hear him suck in a breath and you immediately take two steps back. 

“Sorry, um. Sorry that was not, um, -” 

“It’s okay. You were just, doing your job. Making sure I get stuff done on time, right?” But his voice is wobbly as he says it and his face is as red as a tomato. You couldn’t have made him that flushed, not you? 

“Right. Yeah. Um, so, pants?” Owen looks at you with wide eyes. “I need to take the pants back too.” It’s quiet, but you know he heard you because he nods his head and begins to unbutton them. You suddenly feel very hot, very suffocated. You should’ve left when you had the chance, just let Ashley do this. You shouldn’t be here, watching as he pulls the velvet pants down his legs. Watching as he steps out of them and - oh God he’s falling. You grab his hand to help him but it’s too late, you both tumble to the ground. You’re on top of him, smushed up against his bare chest, faces centimeters apart, sharing breaths. 

“Sorry.” You mumble. You watch him gulp and look down. Down at wha - oh. 

“It’s, it’s okay. I’m the one that fell and pulled you down.” You nod, causing your nose to brush against his. You’re close, so freaking close that if you were to move not even a full centimeter, your lips would touch.

So. 

Close. 

“What. The. Hell!” SHit. Fuck. Shit. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. 

You’re quick to scramble away from Owen, butt scooting across the floor to get as far away from him as possible. Owen jumps up, kicking the pants away then realizing that was probably not a smart idea because now he’s half naked in between Ashley and you.  

“Ash I -” 

“You were taking forever, wanted to know why. Thought you said there was nothing between you two?” She’s practically screeching. You know within minutes there will be a crowd. A crowd Owen will not want, his anxiety will not want. Ignoring his stuttering and the conversation in general, you push away the heat in your belly and the tingling in your spine and take a deep breath. 

Deep breath. 

Be a friend. Do your job.

You grab Owen’s clothes and put them in his hands, ignoring his speaking and Ashley ranting, you grab his hand and then hers, and shove them towards the back exit. 

“This is a trailer conversation, not a wardrobe fitting conversation. Leave, now.” 

“No, I have a lot to say -” 

“Listen to me, I’m trying to do my job and not get Owen in trouble. If you really care about him, you’ll take this conversation to his trailer. Now.” Then you shove them out the door before Ashley could screech some more. 

Deep breath. 

Do your job. 

You go back to the fitting area, only to see Charlie, Jer, and Madi standing there, looking confused. 

Deep breath.

Do your job.

“Hey guys. Owen just left. He and Ashley are having a date night.” Charlie gives you a look, but Jer and Madi nod, going to accept it, but Charlie has to open his big dumb Canadian mouth. 

“Why’d we hear screaming then?” Charlie questions. Jer and Madi look at each other, then back at you. 

“Oh, uh, mouse. I saw a mouse. Yep. Mouse. Anyway, I have to get this clothes hung up before they wrinkle, so excuse me.” 

Deep breath. 

Do your job.

You walk around the trio, gathering the suit and shaking everything out as you walk over to the Alex rack to hang them up. You hear the door to the room open and two sets of feet walking out. 

“Charlie, everything is fine okay? Just a little misunderstanding.” 

“Like?” You sigh and turn around from finishing hanging up the clothes. 

“Like...Owen kinda fell and when I went to help him I feel too...on top of him.” There’s silence then, 

“OH MY GOD! Y/N THAT’S LIKE FANFIC SHIT THAT WAS THE MOMENT! DID YOU KISS OH MY GOD TELL ME EVERYTHING!” He’s jumping up and down as he makes his way to you. 

“Ashley walked in.” All excitement stops.

“Oh shit.” You nod, walking past him to settle on the couch, pulling a pillow to your chest. 

“Yeah. And she started screeching and I knew Owen wouldn’t like to attention so I shoved them out the back door to his trailer.” Charlie’s arm goes around you, pulling you close. He goes to say something, but your phone ringing indicating a text from Owen stops him. You pull it out, opening it as Charlie watches over your shoulder. 

My trailer plz. 

Charlie starts shaking your shoulders, smiling like a maniac. “This is your chance Y/N go go GO!” you shake your head at Charlie’s antics, but leave nonetheless. 

Anxiety creeps up on you as you get closer and closer to his trailers, not knowing what you’re going to walk into. Him firing you? Saying you can’t be friends anymore? Ashley ready to claw your face off? 

Deep breath.

Be a friend.

You knock on his door. It opens a second later to a frantic looking Owen. Now you're anxious about him. Why does he look upset? Is he okay? He grabs your hand and pulls you into his, oh, empty trailer. Ashley is nowhere to be seen. 

“Hey, thanks for coming.” You nod, still looking around expecting her to jump out and slap you. “Um, sit. Sit, I have to talk to you about something.” You go to sit on the couch, but then remember what occurred there yesterday and instead lean against the counter. He notices but doesn’t say anything. 

“Yeah okay. What’s up?” You try to act nonchalant, but the anxiety is too high for that. ‘I have to talk to you about something’ never ends well. He walks over and sits on the bed pats the spot next to him. God, this can’t be a good conversation if he really wants you to sit. 

“Ashley and I were never...on here.” He mumbles. You walk over and sit next to him, blushing that he caught on to why you didn’t sit on the couch. 

“Must be serious if you need me to sit.” Owen takes a deep breath, another, another, and then there’s lips on your. They’re soft and nice and taste like carmex chapstick. 

“Mhm, Owen, what, what are you doing?” Your faces are still close together, both of you not wanting to back away yet. 

“I’m gonna talk. Okay I’m gonna talk and I want you to listen and not crawl inside your head too soon okay?” You nod, knowing in this moment you’d do anything to keep him this close. 

“I knew Ashley from high school. She started texting me a few weeks back and one thing led to another and she was calling me her boyfriend. I didn’t want it but it happened and I let it because it got my mind off a girl I shouldn’t like because it would ruin so many things. I didn’t know she was coming to visit and when she knocked on my trailer she jumped me and just kept going. And I just went along with everything yesterday because I’m supposed to be her boyfriend and I’m supposed to think about those things with her and I’m supposed to want those things with her, but I don’t Y/N. I don’t want those things with her I never did. I, I want them with you. I’ve wanted them with you from the moment you finally stopped being shy around me and dragged me from crafts by my ear to hair and makeup. You’re so amazing Y/N and I thought if I did anything I’d ruin this and ruin your career and I didn’t want that. I never wanted that so I went along with Ashley but I shouldn’t have because the whole time I was thinking about you. It’s always been -” You kiss him. You grab him by the cheeks and kiss him. It’s a passionate kiss, an ‘about time’ kiss, an ‘i’m never letting you go’ kiss. 

You only break away when you can’t breathe, and even then you only pull away enough to breath in each other’s air. 

“She left. She’s gone. She knew I was never 100% in.” You nod, but you’re not really listening. You can’t hear anything other than your heartbeat. 

He likes you. 

Owen likes you.

Owen kissed you. 

“It’s always been you, Y/N.” You smile. It’s a big one that you have to hamper down by biting your lip. Owen smiles back, then you’re kissing again. 

And again. 

And again.

[astaroth1357]

Unpacking the Angel Event (Through My Own Perspective)

Okay so uh… this was a very uncomfortable seat the Devs have offered us today and like all things that give me moral uncomfiness, I HAVE to analyze it. Blame the ethics classes. A full disclaimer, this is not spoiler-free and is pretty much entirely just me unpacking my own feelings here. What may bother or not bother me could really affect you and there is nothing wrong with that. You are entitled to your own perspective. This is just me trying to walk through all the stuff in this event that just… rubbed me the wrong way. So let's get to it.

The Costumes

So. Let's start at the beginning. Diavolo apparently had the bright idea to put everybody in magical costumes of their angel forms (or something like it in Satan's case). This is… problematic.

The reason the brothers lost their angel forms was because they fell after the Celestial War… who's greatest causality (in their eyes) was their sister, Lilith. So one could imagine that their memories as angels aren't particularly happy ones… By this point in the "continuity" (this is Post-Attic, more on that later), they would have known that Lilith didn't actually die which may soften something like this a little. I dunno, I'm not one of them and trauma is uniquely personal to the individual, but the bigger issue is that Diavolo thought this was a good idea to start with to which I say! - I'm not at all surprised by that. Hear me out.

Diavolo is heavily implied to have had a huge ass crush on Angel Lucifer. He's also uh… probably a little sheltered (as sheltered as the royalty of Hell can be) and probably not used to think of his subjects' feelings on the things he does before he just does them. This is fairly evident in other events where he'll order the brothers to do XYZ task even if they want no part in it. It doesn't surprise me at all that Diavolo would want to see them (Lucifer) as angels again and not take into account how that could affect them. I don't think that'd be malice on his part, just shortsightedness, and he likely would have apologized if any of the brothers expressed an emotional problem with it to him directly.

Do they have problems? Yes. But since the event kind of wipes them of their true selves, that's better discussed elsewhere. Moving on.

The Bangles 

Holy fuck, how do we even approach this? So Simeon, in conjunction with Michael (probably, at this point I have to wonder if he's telling the truth about this) gives the brothers jewelry, presumably to wear to the party, that would… I'm not even sure. Curb their impulses? Force them to be mannered? The important thing is he did not tell them about that little detail before they put the bangles on…

This is… also problematic. First, we can try to establish Simeon's intentions versus what actually happened: 

The bangles were (likely) intended to be removable. It was the mixing of the magic that locked them in place so we can assume he didn't mean this to be a permanent change.

The magic on the bangles was probably amplified by the angel costumes. What this means is though we can assume that Simeon never intended them to become quite so… different, we'll never know just how much influence he was actually trying to put on them. It could have been anything from suppressing their sins to full blown force you to say please/thank you. We'll just never get to know now… 

I won't be the first person to liken this to mind control (nor the last) because… that's kind of how it turned out. Even worse still, it would have been completely involuntary on the brothers' part. Simeon DID NOT tell them what the bangles were going to do. Now, he claims later that he would have eventually, but we don't get to know when that would have been. I presume at some time after the party, because like. These are our boys. They're not going to consent to wearing something like that, they're just not.

This poses all kinds of questions and problems ranging from issues of consent to anatomy and even the worth of good deeds done out of obligation vs. free will and… I mean quite literally when I say Jesus Christ, Simeon, what the hell?!

I could write a completely different post debating whether or not what Simeon did actually had any moral merit but I won't because it'd be very dry and boring. I think the most interesting thing to take away here is that Simeon thought it was okay to do like, at all, and with approval from Michael (maybe) no less… That reflects something on angel society that I doubt will get explored but I need to ponder farther…

This section is all kinds of sticky so we need to move on.

The Development(?)

First off, to new players, don't worry this probably isn't canon (at least to the main story continuity). The Brothers should be back to normal in the new chapters and this won't have a long term effect on anything (aside from maybe a tie in to the next event ala Beach event-> Games). That's how Obey Me has always treated their events it seems and I sure hope they stick to it now. But, these are still the same characters going through a unique situation and that can offer some insight so… Let's discuss.

I mentioned earlier that the brothers had problems with this… Unfortunately, I think we only get to see Lucifer and Satan's thoughts in any detail because everyone else is too far gone by the time we reach them… Lucifer can pretty much be summed up as troubled and unhappy because (you know) not a lot of great memories as an angel. I presume that his wounded pride after the fall may also contribute. 

Satan is… more complex. I’m honestly more bothered by his change than anyone else’s because even he expresses how weird this is for him... (We get confirmation that he never in fact had an angel form, btw). Poor baby is going through a full on identity crisis and there’s a certain part of his mind that he’s not even allowed to use right now... Anger. The Avatar of Wrath, born from Wrath, can’t get angry and… Something about that just bothers me at a deeper level, not even I can express properly…

Everyone else is too far gone once we reach them. Their personalities are completely different and they can’t even acknowledge that’s the case. They think that they’ve turned a new leaf but we know that’s not the reality, that leaf was very much turned for them and it doesn’t make anything feel any better…

This may be my own opinion, but part of me thinks that this portion (and only this portion right here) was actually what the Devs were going for. They wanted us to be uncomfortable by all of this for like, story reasons. It’s a narrative trick. Think of the phrase “You don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone.” I think they were trying to use the absence of the brothers’ usual flaws and traits as a weird way of celebrating them. Kind of like saying, “We could have given you guys these perfect brothers, but they’re not perfect and we know that’s why you like them. Look at these perfect guys, doesn’t it feel wrong?” The answer is, yes. It does feel wrong. And under other circumstances, it would be affirming like they’d be intending, “I don’t want this emotionally-open non-otaku, give me Levi dammit!” But when you add this intended discomfort with the already sketchy way we got here it just makes it all the worse… 

And absolutely NONE of this is helped by...

The… End?

I think the thing I hate about this event the most (actually legitimately hate) is how it ends. In that it doesn’t. It kind of just… abruptly stops right after Lucifer starts coming to himself again. Though I suspect that’s because they’re putting incentive into getting the event cards, this in NO WAY does the narrative any favors.

Most people are not going to get those cards. Even with Lonely Devil as an option, it’s a huge time/resource commitment to get there. Because of that, the majority of people are not going to get to see the aftermath of what happened. We don’t get to see how the brothers feel about what happened. We don’t get to see if they do, in fact, come to and if they have any takeaways from the experience or if they’re utterly disgusted by it. The player character doesn’t even get the option to comfort them after something that was probably terribly traumatic. It. Just. Ends.

What that means is all of that discomfort that we had just lingers… There’s no resolution or pay off. It just… stays… This is the worst possible thing they could have done. If you want your audience to feel uncomfortable, that’s one thing, but unless you’re telling like, a psychological thriller you gotta settle them back down again! Deep moral conflict is not a turn on!!!

Personally, I don’t hate that this thing exists. I don’t. The part of me that majored in Philosophy loves analyzing media like this so I can’t say that I didn’t get anything out of it. I don’t think all media should play it safe, it’s okay to leave the audience with no good answers or a feeling of unease, but you really got to be self-aware of it. The biggest flaw of this event, in my opinion, is that it rarely comes across as self-aware of its own horror. You get a very brief glimpse of it from Solomon when he comments on how creepy things are, but Simeon’s happy. Diavolo’s happy. And though he’s a little uneasy, Luke’s pretty content, too. Add that to the abrupt ending and we never get to know if ANY of them realize how awful of a thing this was to do to the brothers... It makes it all come off as an endorsement of mind controlling your friends into better people and (to me) that feels really, really wrong.

So in conclusion… I dunno. If the next event isn’t something along the lines of “Angelic Demons Part 2: Fixing What We Fucked Up!” then I think they really botched this one guys… I hope somebody was taking notes.

[siren-virus]

Luckyboy!AU thing. So I went looking some stuff up, and I can perfectly imagine that Ben would name himself Nekomata, the name for the lucky cats in japanese; you know, because he wants the victims he rescues to have luck in their lives and to bring some of that to himself. However this confuses the Plumbers a whole lot, after all, why would a vigilante want to bring to himself and the others luck in education and love? Green Nekomatas bring luck in education and pink ones (close enough to magenta) bring luck towards love. Spoiler: Ben didn't know what the colors mean, he just thought that the lucky cats bring luck in general to people. His stickers could be coins in order to keep up the theme, or it could be some kind of cats to keep the cat aesthetic.

I also need some fluff between the different "people" (still don't know which noun to use to represent both humans and aliens that isn't "beings" (kinda uncomfortable using that one, since it also encapsulates non inteligent creatures) ) that visit the coffee shop while Ben is working there, like some conversation that he would have with Rook or Gwen, or how he could give some ideas to Cooper over the next technological thing to create/modify, a chat with Kevin about what alien technology he could sell to the civilians that would make him money AND avoid the eye of the Plumbers (and his vigilante persona too if they aren't dangerous)

Would his parents and Max surprise visit him to the coffee shop? I'd imagine that they would, not only to see him but also to have an excuse to give him money in the form of tips without being returen the money XD "You guys just gave me a big ass tip" "Well we just happen to like the service" "I GAVE YOU A GLASS OF WATER" "We REALLY like your service *wink*", meanwhile, Max's watching everything from the table sipping his own extravagant coffee (don't tell me he wouldn't find a way to add some tentacles to his coffee one way or another, forcing Ben to make one that way XD)

Also, what would happen with the love interests that Ben had in the prime dimension? Would he have met any of them in this timeline? How would his relationship with them be? Would any of them come visit him to his job?

Also also, I imagine that Ben would ask grandpa Max any time some of his friends want a tour through the Plumbers HQ to give them all a pass of some kind and do the tour himself (sometimes with his grandpa by his side, sometimes it's Rook, sometimes he's alone, and the best of times he would be with the other Plumber kids going alongside doing lots of pranks at the same time)

I wonder how many charms does Ben have in his home, since some of them are really useful and would help in a lot of things, like I imagine he would use a light charm and reduce his living costs that way, or a heating charm for the same effect.

Finally, I have to say that I love that animation you did of Ben hating early mornings (and if he was out all night and went without sleep, then thank fuck he works at a coffee shop XD), and that tiny detail of him snapping his fingers with both hands, it's just, ugh, I LOVE IT, it reminds me of The Addams Family opening theme. Maybe whenever he does a spell he does that double hand finger snap as a way to focus himself? It'd be a funny easter egg for anyone who would be able to discern it (aka Jimmy, 'cause let's be honest, he would totally find a way to link the double snap with the show somehow, and he would be totally right XD)

Damn dude, I love that whole thing. He would totally choose that name without thinking about it. Nekomata... Rolls off the tongue nicely.

Fluff, eh? People is good enough.

With Gwen, like I said in another post (did I? maybe...) Their conversations would be brief, usually Ben just trying to get a rise out of his cousin to force her into a chat.

Rook is similar, their conversations are brief, but if Ben asks the right questions, serves him a particularly good drink, saves extra amber ogia tarts for him. Rook would be more than happy to indulge. They don't talk about plumbers business, Rook's smart enough to know not to exchange information with a civilian. (Even though Ben probably knows it already.) More, Rook discusses Earth culture with Ben, trying to play catch up with slang, sometimes he'll even indulge some info about his home planet, his friends, family, and girlfriend.

I don't believe Ben and Cooper would talk much, the only reason he's in the cafe is because Manny, Helen, and Alan (if he's not working) forcefully dragged him from the lab, kicking and screaming.

"i'll have an espresso shot. with some honey too... please." Is the only thing he'll before engrossing himself in what tech he managed to bring along.

The one with Kevin is interesting, I do like the idea of Ben tryna push Kevin in the right direction. But Kevins love of tadenite, and the fact he sells weaponry would propbably prevent that.

Instead Ben would try to get as much info from him as possible, subtly giving Kevin a little extra when it comes to info exchange. Kevins lips are sealed. Unless Ben decides to spill some info on Gwen. Kevin plays dumb, but it's easy to spot his interest.

Absolutely, Max, his parents, AND Patelliday all come for visits. At first his parents would be super cautious entering the cafe, they did their best to try to make Ben quit and find a "normal cafe" to work at. They also did their best to convince Ben to move back in. They would deffinitely use any excuse under the sun to tip Ben. They make regular visits on saturdays for morning tea. They don't stick around long though, aliens still spook them a little.

Max and Patellliday - are a unit- would always order a drink together. Max going with the basic Flat White, with some tentacles, of course. Patelliday going for the Boba Fish Tank... they have to restock their gold fish tank every week.

Ben has a good poker face, having to make such a... variety of drinks, and watch how his customer drink/eat. It leaves scars...

Love interests.

Well with Julie, Ben unfortunately never got the confidence to ask her out. But they're really good friends still. (Ben also learned as he got older that not every girl he's friends with wants to date.) Julie comes by the cafe every now and again, always checking if Bens there first before entering, she still managed to get Ship surprisingly, so Ship is always happy to get a pupacino, can't drink it or anything. Just happy to smoosh his face into it.

With Kai, they never had that meeting when they were 10. She comes to Bellwood every now and again, she and Gwen are surprisingly good friends. They clash alot though.

Kai comes by the cafe sometimes too, Ben think she looks nice, but they've had no interactions. (She's not a coffee person, just a water gal.)

Esther, there's no meeting between them, as Ben that is. However, Esther can't deny she feels something towards Nekomata. The guys charming.

I think there's another girl, but I can't remember ;;;

Tour guides? At plumbers HQ? Much as Ben would love to guide his friends around, the amount of jailbreaks that happen there is too many (the plumbers have shit security)... He's not even allowed there most times unless there is someone capable by his side.

More often than not Ben would be disappointed to see one of his regulars, Fist Rick out on the streets the day after he was arrested.

Yes yes yes!! Ben uses a lot of his mana on little things to make his life easier and more convenient. This also comes at the cost of using too much energy, so normally he makes sure to do this when he knows he doesn't have work.

Thank! I work best when I have a visual setting ;; Maybe I should switch careers to be a vis dev.

Also ngl, the whole finger snapping thing, Idk where that came from ;; Could be a cool easter egg thingy

Some days Ben has to be stopped from drinking the coffee. Mr Baumann (yes, he's the head honcho) threatens to send Ben home on those days.

[dappersheep]

Food Fantasy: An Analysis on what killed a Golden Goose (1/3)

So first things first, disclaimers! I do not claim nor pretend to know every nook and cranny, ins and outs of the history of FooFan's conception, existence and uncertain future. I do not own the game nor its characters, only the opinions and thoughts stated hereon out.

This was born to vent out my frustrations with how a game like this was abused poorly by its own developer and publisher instead of being nurtured to become its full potential that could have overshadowed and remained better than the likes of Tencent's Tales of Food --I could dream, but it honestly had the potential to be.

Out of respect for the main tag, I personally will not be tagging this post and the following two with the main tag. If you want to tag it yourself with it, that's your choice. Only followers of my blog will see this.

This analysis is divided into three parts: Funtoy, Elex, and the Community. It starts under the cut. Well let's get started.

Funtoy

Ah yes, the creator. The developer. You'd think that with their sudden rise to fame during their global launch, they'd have used the massive profits they earned within the first quarter of 2018 to improve certain things about the game and then trickled it down as quickly as possible towards Global, right? Yeah, I thought so too.

After playing the game since launch, I've seen and experienced way too many things that just hammer in the fact that this is one of the most unfair gacha I've played in years. Some reasons being the following:

(Note: These are experiences ONLY on Global's version, it may also apply to CN being the original server)

⦁ The game's gacha model is aimed towards maximum predation on its players. F2p are forced to either spend some money (and thus tempt them to keep spending after getting a taste of it), or risk not even getting a good ascension of the unit to be useful at all. Paying for the event packs also doesn't guarantee that you would be able to secure a spot in the ranks. In fact, if you can't comprehend how the battle mechanics work, you could even de-rank. Fun way to burn that 800$, huh? At least you have the skin from rebates.

⦁ A little less known thing and probably theoretical at worst, the long joked about spaghetti coding of the game along with an outdated spine technology for the sprites could very well be the reason why a 2D game like this experiences the shittiest lags. Also how easy it is to hack this game with the right know-how.

⦁ Speaking of bad gameplay mechanics, did you know you could spend over fifty Mirrors and not get that final enhancement from +9 to +10 simply because there's absolutely no tangible safety net before +10?

⦁ If you're F2P, this game is terrible in giving you resources to stockpile. Because Funtoy certainly doesn't have a lot of weekly/monthly or even friendly events wherein you can get resources without spending another kind of resource. The Hawthorne event's rewards are lackluster at best, Bingo is severely limited in what it gives, and Recall also doesn't give much for a big event that only happens (supposedly) every 6 months. Did I also mention that daily resource rewards also kinda suck compared to how much you burn in just one event?

⦁ Monthly subs are a scam. Yes, you heard that right. My point of comparison here is Arknights. A monthly in AK allows you to have enough to 10-pull after 30 days, on top of a bit of stamina to help you. In FooFan? You have two monthly subs that do different things and even then, you won't have enough to 10-pull by the end of 30 days, nor is the stamina you get enough to even stockpile and ease the pressure of your need to save for the Gates or that stamina event that suddenly popped up.

⦁ A conga line of 'Must procure this unit at a high ascension to do well in the following events!'. You missed the first Pizza event? Missed the first Turkey event? God forbid, you weren't able to 5* your Beer on his debut? Well sorry, that 5* Black Tea of yours isn't gonna do squat to give you good damage. No, your 2* B-52 also isn't going to do much of anything with his lackluster damage capabilities. If you want a chance to get those event URs again, you have to wait for their pool with laughably limited pulls... and a bloated price to even pull.

⦁ The events starting after the first iteration of Turkey event get even more paywalled. As far as I remember, by the time Minestrone rolled around, an F2P with ample crystal resources can only get 2* at best. 3* and above are paywalled.

⦁ The game has incompetent balancing. The devs themselves likely have little experience in gameplay design and balancing, especially for a game with a growing roster of characters . A prime example of them launching a character not knowing it would pretty much unbalance the game? Look no further than Beer. The guy had to have a couple of nerfs done to him because he was just too meta. You know what's sadder? Before the 'switch' to Brave meta, almost all meta units was built to benefit off the Beer meta.

⦁ Artifacts. Do I even have to explain how the introduction of such a game feature so early into the lifespan of this game essentially fucked over the balance even more? Not to mention, all the more reason you'd be crying with the Gates of Trials demanding so much out of your stamina and crystal resources. F2Ps are again, the ones that suffer in this part. What's their reason? Profit, of course.

⦁ The nerf of resto chests. This was the primary source for people who were saving up stamina for the Gates... until Funtoy decided they were being too generous to their playerbase and dropped the stamina probability rate to 1% or less.

⦁ Terrible UI layout and design. Come on, be honest now, you've lost several thousand of your hard earned crystals buying screws in the fishing shop because you didn't notice that shiny warning in small text and a green button with the crystal image slapped on it, didn't you?

⦁ Look at all these SRs! All of them! Wow, they even outnumber the Rs by at least 80! What's that? There's more URs now too compared to Rs and Ms combined? That can't be real. But seriously, you'd think Funtoy could make some of these SRs into Rs and add them to the perm pool/shard fusion so people aren't stuck pulling Macaron or Dorayaki every time. They could have also populated the Team Up rewards with SRs instead of Rs. But you know... that won't bring them profit. Haha... haha.... Oh and I haven't even told you about the SP class...!

⦁ Lore. Yes, I'm sure by now you're aware that the in-game lore is different from the ones in the non-SP Food Soul bios, in the SP Food Soul bios that sort of ties in with the New World story (that global will never be getting btw). At this point, Funtoy handwaves the confusion away by saying, 'they're all different timelines'. Yes yes, an easy and cliche move to explain how shitty the writing direction went after a while. I don't know what happened, all I know is that lore got weird(er) when they introduced SP Rice.

⦁ They. Keep. Adding. More. Characters! They fail to see that a lot of their earlier players have imprinted on the first few waves of Food Souls and they sadly also fail to properly give some of them more story expansion... or skins. At the moment, they're shelling out so many JP-centric Food Souls because... as I see it? They're pandering to the last bastion of whales they have.

⦁ Merchandise. And I mean a variety of merchandise that isn't using the same official art every time. Like they couldn't afford to commission a couple of artists one or two times to make unique merchandise that would sell. They started too late on that train, and they even made it too hard for anyone not in CN or JP to even procure what already exists. Not to mention, they keep using the same 'popular' set of characters for their merchandise and never really expanding out to making merch for other characters.

These are all the things I can list off at the top of my head why Funtoy as a developer sucks ass. They could sweeten their words all they want, it won't change the fact that they've certainly made way too many bad decisions and found out about it too late, and now they're desperate to keep Food Fantasy alive to keep their profits coming in to make whatever that cat girl game they have and that supposedly 'side-game' FF2 they announced.

There may have been problems out of their control that I or you do not see, but one thing is for sure, they were blinded by greed for the money they were raking in on all their servers at the start, and never actually bothered to invest in more manpower in the right places to improve the game, both gameplay-wise and worldbuilding wise. It's actually saddening that this game could have been so much more with several QoLs and a more fleshed out lore, perhaps even spacing out the number of new units they keep introducing while going back to giving their old units more attention.

That's it for Funtoy. We're moving onto Elex in the next part and boy is that also a trip.

[sneakywitchthieves]

My First Impressions DA4 Dev Diary

Ok so firstly, I think there is going to be a ton of concept art that we will never see make it to the game, a lot will be for the benefit of crafting the story without actually being in the world itself, so I am taking everything as a concept and not really a peek at the game.

These are all based on something that sparked upon first watch of the video. I have included some screen caps with time stamps for people who might want to look at them on their own. Based on both concept art from DAI to end results AND if they did their jobs of getting the feeling/mood/ideas across I am just stating what I personally read out of those ideas and images or interviews. Nothing is solid, these are just where I was sparked to go. Buckle up, it’s a long hot mess: 

The locations look amazing and I think it's possible to see a lot of the places we have never been before but I also got something reminiscent of Val Royeaux with a few of them. Especially the lake and boats. 

We are going to see more about the titans, and the deep roads, my guess is lore in the decent will be coming back in a bigger way there. There are a lot of shots of both rock formations, lyrium glowing and dwarven places that don't look underground OR ruins. These are well preserved looking at the interior shots and it another sweeping shot it looks like sunlight from the ceiling so these are not exactly “ruins” as we have seen them before.

SWIMMING!?!

 Also Dorian looking facial hair (but maybe not?) That does look like Dorian's facial hair but also at the end of Trespasser they changed up his look slightly so I will question everything. I’m guessing if he is there it will more likely be as an advisor/contact he might be more like a temp companion in the way that Cullen joins you on the mission to the Temple in DAI, but I don't think he will be like Varric was in DAI from DA2 because his story seems more tied to fighting things from within and in his own ways of changing the world of Tevinter with his new found position.

This image below doesn't look like the other companions(?) character designs we have seen that repeat or at least the character designs we are guessing are companions as much to me so this might be a story telling concept more than a playable portion?  Also getting some return to Awakening lore vibes in a lot of these shots of what I assume are Tevinter.

I feel pretty confident we are going to Weisshaupt 

New combat styles look exciting, like more magic options and maybe even magical weapons? I also think we are going to see a return of ancient elves or at least something similar to what we saw at the temple of mythal. Like these folks here:

The floating stuff looks like something hidden away, like when we were at the floating library. It wasn't a result of the rift like the temple of scared ashes, it was just like that and those look like halla and sort of Aravels in design so I think this is either Agents of F.H. or maybe even the dalish? I mean they look like they are preparing to travel? Maybe I’m talking out of my ass but maybe it’s just a flashback to lore and how the dalish came to be after the veil creation.

There is a Crow in this art with the lady in the salon chair and what looks like the Qunari companion(?), so that might point to Antiva? I think the grand necropolis is the one with all the waterfalls, but I can't remember how all these places were described.

This looks like a giant Qunari. Like the super charged Serabas from Trespasser

The way they talk about "not having power" I feel like that's back to Origins in a way. Like trying to bring light to something and not having an organization like in DAI. I think it's also going to be more "in the shadows" like no one knows who you are kind of? Similar and more intimate like in the comics series with Varric and Alistair searching for his father. I think it’s going to be more grassroots in a way. I think this will be more varied than Inquisition in that recruiting will likely be about gathering people from other places and bringing them together as those who can see the big threat and have been doing it on their own before joining our gang. It’s hard to put in to words what I mean but I like the idea of seeking out people to bring in based on a rumour of a person who is doing what you are doing but in their country.

I haven’t looked too much at the possible companion(?) art aside to say I think it would be dope if the tall central figure was Maevaris, and it looks like glowly head skeletor is the result of  Necromancy of Cassandra’s homeland based on how the lore has described those beings. Also would be interesting if they were something similar to the way Justice was.

It would be also fun to imagine that these are not companions at all but actually playable protagonsists that you can choose from for backstories like we had in origins and that’s another reason they are not always a clear figure but a general representation? It’s fun to imagine we could have Origins return in that way. 

I thought the lore was that Crows are always boys, kind of like the unsullied from ASOIAF. They are bought and trained young. But also my memory is crap so maybe I've been corrupted by tropes and know nothing.  I am very curious who she is, she's like a catwoman-esque character in that maybe she is a criminal? Maybe a foe? Maybe a friend? Either way I’m here for it.

Solas looks smokin, both literally and figuratively.

The dread wolf line makes me think it's going to be the first confrontation with him as the new protag cause he would have contempt for having to feel like he needs to explain himself to someone he doesn't know. Like when we see Corypheus at Haven.

Lots of creature and beast designs I think will come from the "old things" like an awakening from what Solas has done in trying to bring things back. Also maybe something more like the Guardians we had for the titans will turn out to be obstacles to get more lore and deeper into the blight and the formation of thedas with the worlds colliding from the pre-veil times to present. There is also an Anthem-looking giant with an axe of fire so that will be interesting.

This gives me the Mother and Broodmother vibes but also it looks like a heart in the centre, which is extra creep. Also Mr spideyhands. 

Confirmation of at least 1 voiced Warden character?? I think it’s close enough to call.

The big rock boi is 100% neverending story feels and might be a titan manifesting itself in a way we can actually communicate with it as opposed to what happened in decent. Please yes.

More Grand Necropolis I think and evidence of the glowy head skeletor concept

Look at all these warden flags and colours... that 's the stronghold, bruh

Everyone wants the one companion(?) to be carrying a gun and I can't tell you how much I would dislike that, but to each their own. I suspect it's more Bianca-like in nature of mechanical but what do i know?

Final thoughts: I would love a return to the lore of the darkspawn creation, the nature of the blight, (there is some hints in the concept art as to these elements in design with a corypheus type figure) 

I know Solas knows about all of that so give it to us please. I think the new protag will be brand new, but also with the inquisition as an option to disband or continue it's likely we will get a lot of cameos from games past.

Either Inky will be sought out like Hawke was? or with the advisors or former companions will be still working to do things without the official organization (should they have chosen to dissolve the organization) because they show the Inky and some of the inner circle post trespasser looking at the map and making moves even if there is no "forces" or troops or anything backed by the Inquisition itself. Because the “bad guy” this time is someone we have had some sort of relationship with, either friend or lover, or simply a companion I think you have to have closure on that story with the Inky and I will be super bummed if that is never addressed. I doubt we will see the HOF,(I thought I read it confirmed they would never be back?) and if we do it will be letters only or codex at the stronghold or someone talking about them. I think we will learn something about The Warden/Hawke's fate (if left in the fade) as the veil would in theory come down at some point or at least things will be effected by that and that means they maybe aren't trapped there. Maybe a jumanji type situation? I would enjoy that personally, even if just for the memes.

Feel free to add, counteract, contradict, or whatnot, but let’s all be respectful and excited together! 

[comfyspookyburrito]

My new year’s resolution. (I should’ve posted this earlier this year.)

Hello, sorry I haven’t been active lately or live streamed. I needed to take time off to reflect the rough start we all had in this new year .

Well, let me discuss everything I want done before 2022 in a long ass blogpost. Yes I still use Tumblr.

IRL:

1 - Become as smarter as possible through those “school subjects” I neglected when I was a kid. Maybe study music, Japanese or game dev shit.

2- Workout and hopefully get results within the next 2 years. I’m pretty fucking convinced that it takes 3 years to go from toothpick to normal strong and 5 for more. You can’t convince me unless I work my body hard, long enough to see for myself.

3 - get in touch with friends I know and bond with all my family buds while I still can, and study a lot of shit too.

On the internet:

1 - Compare myself to other artists, serious long art practice until the end of the year.

2 - Remake all of my deleted content including stuff made on steam.

3 - Break the mold and actively engage conversations with communities all over again. DeviantArt, discord, twitter, YouTube, twitch. 

4 - No more friends on the internet. I have plenty in real life. Anybody who indulges toxicity because of this. I’ll just tell them to go outside and make some friends.

4. Number four, DO NOT listen to the things I crossed off, I am going through my history of bad comments and remarks in order to speak the truth. During times like this I was insecure and taking it out on people for no reason.

“Explaining reasons why I chose these goals for 2021.”

When I was still a kid in high school, I always felt a part of me was empty. To this day I’m embarrassed whenever I think about how skinny wand stupid I am. I refuse to stick with a low school IQ or stay weak.

In real life I am going to gain muscle, and study everything I should have done before I graduated. I’ll likely never go to a college ever again. So I at least want to appear smart like everyone else. Gaining muscle, regardless if it will only make my issues worse. It will help me feel that I can prolong my life being healthy.

I also want to take a moment and pay my respect to my grandmother and grandfather, no longer here on earth. They’re final words and moments that I saw has left a life lasting message that I will fulfill this year. Even if it kills me I won’t be satisfied again until I fill that emptiness absent  in my childhood.

ANYWAY! ON TO THE INTERNET!

I want to become a game developer and make a good game before the end of my life. With that said here is all the context you need to catch up on me.

I deleted all of my past encounters and work online from embarrassment and I want to keep that aspect of my life away from everyone. I don’t want to be known today as the person I was ten years ago. People need to believe that it is possible for someone to change. It’s crucial to my life here on out that I prove my worth now, not 10 years ago.

Even without words, I know how much some of my work felt to others and how much it saddens them to see that investment gone.

Rather than just copy and reupload shit, why not go further? I could use this opportunity to build my new image, as SpookyBurrito, a distinctive style. Remake and bring new quality into these old ass, pngs.

Speaking of change, I was in a few communities years ago and for a while thought nothing could go wrong. But it’s clear in 2021. I don’t belong in any of these communities ever again.

It would be wiser to find new hurdles to tread. Take risks. Even if I make new enemies, it would be worth it so much to find new people that can relate or even reason with me to begin with. Maybe I’m not the only person on earth that likes for example, the Moe Mekuri games. A whole trilogy on steam that I would love to invest and get good at. If you don’t like lewd content, the ost’s, visuals, and gameplay will leave a very long fantastic impression.

Lastly, I want to address something. I’m not a shy person anymore. I’m not a goody two-shoe’s, and while I can be a jackass at times, I’m not a troll, attention seeker, or trouble maker.

I will call out anybody scummy enough that deserves to be exposed. I don’t care about cancel culture at all, I give no fucks. It will have no affect on me if anybody stops caring about me on twitter or whatever shit on social media. But I won’t tolerate any pathetic activity online. I don’t have to say anything. You know who you are. Idiots who never learn and laugh at any pain they poke at with a drill, keep their distance, if I find fucked up people, fucking run from me.

But don’t take it the wrong way, I have no hate or ill if I don’t want friends online. Mutual relationships should be perfectly normal for any adult in 2021.

(I’m perfectly fine with chatting and having fun playing games together with anybody, add me on steam and shit. Just please, don’t get attached to anybody over the internet. Trust me. Months of  agony over assholes online you once trusted is not worth it. It’s for your own good.) 

(5/29/2023 edit)

The entire topic of relationships and this last part is completely false and inaccurate. I made a lot of false judgements and accusations after a time I needed to recover. The reason I am saying this now, is because this line towards how you should feel on the internet is total bullshit.

I would never, condone anyone to adopt that behavior, just because there are people out there that can take advantage of you, does not mean that they are bad people, meanwhile anyone online who HAS went too far to a point that other people who share such extreme problems when it comes to bad people who would advise you to stay away from them is the only time you should ever feel mutual towards someone, hating terrible people is normal.

There is NOTHING wrong with getting in a friendship with someone across the world, and it can lead to a healthy lifestyle. I have no other words than to openly express yourself because that’s human nature, and following anything said I crossed out is only going to isolate you into a toxic lifestyle.

If you want to be my friend and you want me to be yours, that is ok, I’m not going to deny that anymore. But please remember that this is something you have to earn. Have patience, show your true feelings and express your passions, and don't let anyone try discourage you.

These are not words I came up with, this is something I’ve been told over the course of my life with close peers, who have taught me this. That is how you become a better person.

And one more thing to point out. I am not a person who judges or discriminates anyone for any reason at all. I have a very high tolerance towards trolling and even negative emotions in general. I’m ok if people treat me like shit because I’m old enough to handle it. But just like everyone else, if you push my buttons, I may have to push yours too, something else I’ve learned, I’ve even been told that it’s called karma.

Thank you for reading this long update, sorry I couldn’t post it sooner. I have plenty of content in store for this year, most of it I haven’t even talked about.

[scripting-life]

FFVII: returning to my first love

 *peeks out of the corner of my lurking spot*

Hello? Anybody out there? It’s only been, oh you know, four-ish years since the last time I’ve posted anything here. I apologize in advance for anybody who’s still following me from my Castle days. If you couldn’t tell from my extended absence, I’ve mostly moved on. Castle and Beckett were fantastic characters that let me to play with some deep-dive analyses, and Castle will always hold a special place in my heart as my comfort show and my first real and extended experience with online fandom. I’ll always be grateful to the community I’ve had the joy of interacting with (or, the community with which I’ve had the joy of interacting, as Castle would correct me my dangling preposition).

I honestly didn’t think I would ever have reason to come back to Tumblr after Castle ended. But the FF7 Remake has returned me to my very first love--when I was young and innocent and before I knew anything about OTPs or ship wars. I’ve been back lurking for several months now and seeing all the fanart/fanfics and fun theories and analyses has reignited my enthusiasm for the FF7 franchise. It’s also fun coming back to this franchise with a more mature understanding of the themes/concepts that completely flew over my head as a young preteen.

(This ended up being super long, so the rest is below the cut to spare everyone the pain of scrolling. Apparently, my rambling tendencies have not changed at all. lol.)

When FF7R was officially announced (five freaking years ago!), I was filled with apprehension. FF7 was my first taste of a “grown-up” game. I was 11 and played my brother’s copy of the OG on PC in 1-2 hours spurts on the weekends when I visited his apartment. It took me months, if not years, to finish the game (I ended up stealing his copy to play on our computer at home...lol), and I was so blown away by it. I remember the exact moment I finished it and how I was literally shaking as I watched the ending FMV.

Later, when I found out my brother had a copy of FF8 (my poor brother was so accommodating to his annoying little sister...haha), I was so excited to play, in large part because I thought it would continue the story of FF7. Young, naive me didn’t understand the numbering conventions of Final Fantasy titles. I was madly theorizing and breaking my brain trying to find connections between the two games’ plots and had literally played through more than half the game before I finally realized the storyline of FF8 had absolutely nothing to do with FF7. I was sorely disappointed, and I think that has somewhat tainted my appreciation of future titles. Not to say I haven’t enjoyed the subsequent FF titles, but I think a little part of me is always comparing them to that first experience of wonder and awe that I had with FF7.

I discovered fanfiction in my teens and starting writing FF7/Cloti fics in college. Aside from interacting with a few fic writers at the time, I was not involved in any online communities, so I kept myself pretty free of any ship war drama and the like. When I did research for my fics, I’d sometimes see shipping sites and theories where I didn’t always understand the logic of how certain conclusions were reached, but frankly, I didn’t much care and didn’t realize that Clerith vs. Cloti was such a touchy subject. I was peripherally aware that some sort great LTD war was waging, of course, but it didn’t really touch me. I stayed in my Cloti shipping/fic-writing lane and was probably a lot happier for it. And, to be honest, based on FFN’s listings for FF7, I felt like I always saw a bunch of Sephiroth/Cloud fics and thought that was just as popular as the more conventional ships.

Graduating college and entering “real life” pretty much ended my FF7 fanfic-writing journey. In the intervening years between college and the release of FF7R, I haven’t gone back to the OG too much. I’ve played almost all the Final Fantasy games since then, and I always enjoy getting my FF7 crew fix when I play the non-canon mobile games or the Kingdom Hearts franchise. But FF7 was a happy part of my teenage years, and I was content to think on it with sweet nostalgia.

Remakes, in recent experience (*cough cough* Disney, why?), have been hit or miss, with a lot of misses. It’s hard to strike a good balance between catering to nostalgia and delivering a fresh product, never mind the change in social mores through the decades. I was so afraid FF7R would screw up my memories, especially since I wasn’t the biggest fan of Advent Children. The graphics were great and the action scenes were fun, but the story felt like a let-down. Cloud, in particular, felt so different (and yes, moody) from where we left him after the OG. I understand now that a lot of his character motivation was better explained in the On The Way to a Smile novels, but back then, I just felt like AC came out of nowhere. 

Btw, because I see this question a lot on other blogs when I’m lurking, I’ve ALWAYS thought that it was very clear in AC--even without reading anything else--that the reason for Cloud’s depression was due to guilt and not because he was pining for Aerith. The only reason I didn’t like his characterization in AC was because it felt like it came out of nowhere since AC is set 2 years after OG and by the end of the OG, he seemed to be in a pretty decent place mentally and emotionally. That being said, I can absolutely understand why some traumas resurface years after the originating incident and how times of peace might actually be worse because he is no longer solely focused on saving the world, but I was just surprised and a little bummed that this was the direction the devs chose to take AC at the time. Now that I’m older, I do better appreciate the complexities of Cloud’s mental state and the fact that they depicted a hero with lingering mental health issues is actually pretty awesome. I’m drawn to characters that have flaws--sometimes serious ones--but try their best anyway. Hence, why why Tifa Lockhart and Kate Beckett are some of my all-time favorites.

Anyhow, that didn’t stop me from pre-ordering FF7R, of course. I avoided reading any reviews as I didn’t want my first impressions to be swayed, and boy, was I happy that I went in mostly blind. That sense of awe really almost felt like playing the OG for the first time again, but somehow more. The combat system is incredibly fun and the world-building is nothing short of incredible. The variety and abundance of NPCs gives the game so much flavor and the locations have been rendered so well. As I’m going through areas like the Sector 7 train station and Wall Market and Aerith’s house, I can almost superimpose the layout from the OG in my head, but now it’s in 3D and so rich and full. It’s obvious that a lot of attention was paid to details, and I love all the head-nods and homages to the OG.

And oh, the characters!

This is the Cloud I’ve been wanting to see in glorious HD and the Cloud I remember from the original game: all awkward, dorky trying to be cool, socially inept, mentally unstable, abrasive-at-times, reluctant to act depending on who’s asking, wannabe hard-ass who’s actually a big softie inside Cloud. I remember reading an article a few years back about how the devs basically redid Cloud for the Remake because they wanted him to go back to his dorky roots--which ends up making him closest to his personality in the OG than his appearances in other franchises--and I was SOOOO incredibly happy to hear that. I was so sick of the way Cloud was constantly depicted as this cool, broody McBrood in his cameos when he was a pretty big dork in the OG. (Anybody remember him doing squats in the Highwind when Tifa says it’ll be lonely with just the two of them and Cloud responds that he’ll make enough noise to make up for it? Like I said: cute, but a dork.)

I WAS surprised by how comfortable and sweet and touchy (so very very touchy) the devs made him with Tifa from the beginning. That initial scene of Cloud being such a smooth operator giving Tifa the flower had my jaw-dropping and every single flirty interaction after that (and there are many) had my Cloti heart overflowing in shock and bliss. Throughout most of my years as a Cloti shipper, even though I believed Cloti was supported by canon and pretty clearly together, I was also under the impression--mistakenly or not--that Cloti was the minority ship. So for Square Enix to make it so blatantly obvious that Cloud is really into Tifa at such an early stage has been an unexpected gift.

Also, they’re just really hot together. (Clotiscrew tunnel--be still my heart!)

As for Tifa...oh, what wonderful character development we’ve already gotten for Tifa. Tifa has always been one of my all-time favorite characters ever since reading her character blurb in the OG game manual. Initially, as a child, it was because I saw so much of myself in her. She was outwardly bright and optimistic, but tended to hide all of her stronger feelings inside. She fought with her fists, and for someone who was a tomboy growing up who liked playing contact sports with the boys, I connected with her in a way that I had never been able to connect with other female protagonists who were primarily back-row specialists. (I also aspired to grow to her listed height of 5′4″, which alas, did not happen...lol).

I love how the Remake delves into more of Tifa’s moral conflict between the destruction that she causes as part of Avalanche and needing to do something to stop Shinra, and yes, even seeking revenge. They touched on this in the OG lightly, but the Remake really hammers it home. She’s perhaps the most conflicted character in terms of motivation in Part 1. That scene with the Shinra manager on the train is actually one of my favorite scenes of her because it highlights that tension. The elevator scene, if you opted for it instead of the stairs (or if you did one, saved, and reloaded to do the other one, like me), is also underrated in terms of how much it reveals about Tifa’s inner struggle.

On this point, I also appreciate that the Remake has the characters reflecting on the damage they’ve both indirectly and directly inflicted--the Avalanche team all do this to a certain degree. In particular, Jessie’s constant inability to figure out what she’d done wrong with the bomb to cause such a massive explosion and her remaining feelings of guilt during her death scene (”they were my victims” ouch!) were heart-breaking.

Aerith’s depiction was another pleasant surprise. I’ll be honest; I didn’t much like her in the OG. She was too pushy and willfully oblivious to the point of being mean at times. In the Remake, much of her sometimes too in-your-face playfulness was kept--perhaps still a little too much--but I appreciate the nuance that they gave her. The train graveyard scene tells the player that she didn’t have friends growing up, and I think that partially contributes to her lack of social tact at times. The other factor that gives her personality more nuance is the hint of special knowledge that affects how she interacts with the rest of the group. It gives her additional hidden motivation and adds to her mystery for new players while simultaneously pulling at the heartstrings for old players who get the impression that Aerith is somehow aware--to a certain, unknown extent--of her own fate. 

I also appreciate that Aerith is more grounded as a real person than as some sort of revered being. I do blame AC for some of that. When you have the power to cure a fatal disease from the afterlife and send the dead back to life, it gets into some godlike territory. Maybe it’s a fair depiction of her powers as a Cetra, but I just get the feeling that Aerith herself wouldn’t really appreciate being made into this goddess-like figure. Remember that her character blurb in the original game manual implied that she was more interested in earthly things (i.e. the love triangle) than in exploring her own powers. I personally think that Aerith used the “love triangle” in the OG as a form of escapism from the weight of her burdens rather than genuine interest, and I just think she’d want to be thought of as a person rather than as a god. One of my favorite scenes for Aerith is when she and Cloud are traversing the rooftops and she slips on the ladder, letting out a simple, “Shit.” It humanizes her in a way that combats some of the ways she’s sort of been deified in the last 23 years. Also, Aerith wielding a folding chair like it’s WWE never fails to make me laugh. Overall, she just comes off as a more reasonably flawed and--as a result, to me--a more likeable character in the Remake, and I do very much like her now.

Barret is pretty much the exact larger than life character I imagined in my head, only somehow even better, and I really love how expressive and emotional his eyes and facial expressions are. His scenes with Marlene are truly the cutest thing ever. Red XIII is a big, furry ball of sass, and I need so much more of him in the coming parts (Cosmo Canyon still wrecks me to this day). The interactions between the Wedge, Biggs, and Jessie are incredible, and they really feel like people who’ve been friends and basically each other’s family for years. The Turks and Rufus are pretty much as cool as I imagined them in the OG.

There’s still so much more I haven’t even started touching on about the Remake, and I think that’s why I’m finally posting this now. I just can’t contain my love for this game any more, and I really really need a place to express myself. I don’t know if anybody is still reading, but I appreciate having the opportunity to finally gush about this game and franchise that I’ve loved so much for pretty much two-thirds of my life.