#i never saw it but i saw ppl on here talking abt it

[wiki-howell]

happy lesbian visibility week to pj liguori

[pcktknife]

going on instagram fr makes me feel like I'm haunted by ghosts

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[spider-man-2o99]

Just wanted to say that I have been thinking of you and pre-emptively empathizing with the nonsense you are no doubt being flooded with and the psychic damage it must be causing. Keep stanning the king ignore the weirdos <3

thankg u.,, i feel like ive been trapped in a fuckign . Torture Labyrinth these past coupl days . but. wwe will. We Will Yet Persist onwards w/ our hand on the left wall till we;re either out or at the center i swear 2 fucking GOD,

[minglana]

ahora voy y me entero yo que han eliminao el cipaj..... natalia chueca when i catch you!!!!!!!!!!

[annie-thyme]

and once again I am suddenly overwhelmed with an intense feeling of not really fitting into a gender

[unproduciblesmackdown]

one in a million when i watch smthing in the horror genre and don't end up disappointed to/and/or pissed off about it so like "also yeah i liked it. ooo" is like relative to that an off the charts rave review of media of the millennium. also i did think about mh a lot along the way so would recommend its affect/effect if you like mh's horror too

[thatdeadaquarius]

Topic: Genshin impact.

au: Sagau.

idea: So what if you had the powers of every character you played as in every game you played and then get isekaid into genshin impact with imposter au. I imagine it goes smth like

Zhongli: “I will have order!”

reader, Who played Roblox as someone who lagged the game (explanation: I’m pretty sure ping is also how time works in games. If you can control the flow of ping you can control the flow of time in games.): “ZA WARUDO!”

Heyyy!! Thanks for waiting for the reply/response from my slow ass :0

So they did clarify what they meant/expand so imma just copy paste that here!

“k now I remember. So basically imma write it here since it’s easier: Basically you don’t have to (but you can) transform into the character that has those set of powers but if you do those powers are enhanced.”

Sun: Reader (”you”/they/them)

Orbit: Headcanons-ish, Light Imposter AU (as in, NOT Yandere/Dark), mild crossover elements bc Shapeshifter Shenanigans™️

Stars: bro idek

Comets & Meteors: Content Warnings: mild cussing, genshin typical mild violence, & Trigger Warnings: none known.

Please comment if I missed any. /gen

☆

so fair warning,, ive never seen jojo bizarre, but i appreciate i come off well-read/watched? LMAO

so im just gonna kinda,, guess? like just cycle thru diff. random media, and im hoping both me and you reading this will have a fun time (as this is a little challenge, but i like it so ill give it a shot, dont kno if its a good one but- 😅)

so to set the scene, of how u got to this point, ykno of running like ur life (maybe?) depends on u running around different teyvat countries,

u thought it was weird everyone knew a little too much about you?? (ofc theyve heard u during gaming, they know u the same way we all know Markiplier, get it?)

then a bunch of NPCs/Vision users/Archons?? were REALLY invested in talking to you, which freaked u out even more

and by the time you saw Zhongli, yknow, just the oldest god in game, making a fast-walk towards you, ykno the retired god who didnt move an inch when an old water god attacked Liyue for a test, is now hurrying to you???

ur logically get so fucking scared sm shits abt to go down, u just start running

it isnt until ur reaching for a ledge and some webbing shoots out of ur arm (from a glitchy little spot on ur arm, where it could be coming out of ur skin, but sometimes its a blue and red bracelet)

it latched onto the nearest building, and thats how u find out u can grapple ur way, literally Spiderman style, out of the harbor

and bro, idk if it would be fun, or confusing and stressful, or maybe both?? to just find out u can use any video game power from any game youve played before as you go running from countries bc for some freaky reason they know too much abt you/are pursuing you-

dUDE- they had small statues of you in like every little section of their cities

u head to Mondstadt and as Venti comes screaming and flying at you (in excitement, but ur freaked), u go to hold a hand up and suddenly ur holding a heavy stone tablet that unleashes some holographic yellow chains that freeze him in place-?? why is this familiar-

oh my god u have the sheikah slate from Breath of the Wild,

and as ur booking it out of there, u manage to get ahold of a sword, and u know exactly how to use it to knock back favonius knights trying to stop you (they are concerned for their god who is just unleashing random powers on ppl, pls let Grandmaster Jean just talk to you Your Majesty-!!)

by the time you teleport ur way to Inazuma, (bc u still have this worlds access to ur player/traveler’s powers), ur trying to find a nice place to stay for a little bit

at least in that sweet spot of the Raiden not noticing/finding you, while things cool down on the main continent, before moving on,

and u get some tools to help fashion just a little shelter, bc u dont have any money/mora rn, and ur able to literally build a house???

a mailbox pops up and thanks you for renting with Tom Nook???? As in Animal Crossing-

and rlly if the BOTW/slate thing didnt clue u into video game powers, then this definitely would tbh lmao

right as u see Yae Miko circling ur house, with an armful of books? ..is she planning to thru them at you??, u get the hell out of dodge before her favorite god can follow along

(she knows ur prefrences in books and got authors/trends to start so youd have plenty to read, and she was making sure it was ur house before politely dropping them off! how was she to know thatd spook their favorite God, Ei?!)

u get to Sumeru and think ur safe, hiding in an abandoned forest watcher outpost (1 person treehouse rlly) when Nahida shows up in ur dreams,

and u just,

walk out of the dream, into reality, and possess a nearby ruin guard so u can sleep in peace, bc she cant access a robot,

that one baffled u as you re-possessed ur own body before realizing-

Five Nights at Freddy’s. 💀

U cant do that forever, so u try Fontaine, hoping Neuvillette/Furina wont rlly give af abt you, plus theyre the latest region, so maybe they have the least exposure to whatever the other archons didnt like abt you??

u get there and are immediately summoned to court, and right as the mekas show up to escort you, jfc they have a mecha army

(meanwhile, theyre thinking, yknow. high profile guest/our god of gods. ofc we need state of the art mekas to escort them, its only polite-)

meanwhile ur cape has now become wings, and a mask covers ur face as you glide and fly ur way over the city in an attempt to get to where u assume Snezhnaya is

it doesnt occur to you the game until ur running out of stamnia and catch ur reflection in the waters of fontaine, Sky: Children of the Light

u hope the Tsaritsa’s dislike for other gods/Celestia doesnt extend to ur otherworldly presence so ur just hoping for the best atp tbh

tbh youd forget what all powers you have, and the absolute chaos ur causing urself as u try to desperately rememeber what games youve played thru ur entire life is NOT helping to reduce confusion when u randomly wake up with elf ears (legend of zelda/botw) or get dragged into another ruin machine when u fall asleep/faint/do smth u guess mimics death lmao- (fnaf) 💀

…

(meanwhile the Tsaritsa does get wind ur coming this way, and just, makes the people have a parade/festival to celebrate you coming,

she did also have to get Pierro/Captaino to physically restrain some of them from going ahead to meet/escort you to the palace, she’d heard how the others scared u off, and was, ironically, hoping the warm welcome would clear things up)

☆

well that was, something. 😃🫠

sorry lil car, that was such a fun idea idk if i did it justice!! i thought itd be too op to include every media youve consumed ever, so i kept it to video games, (which, could u cheat the system if youve played smash bros??)

i hope it was at least a decent read, and sorry im half asleep so i was not v funny this time around, but, again, hope u got smth out of it 😭

</3

on another note, im having my wisdom teeth surgery this friday, send whatever u got my way, prayers, blessings, good vibes, ill take anything im nervous 🙃

have a good week guys!

Safe Travels Lil Car,

💀♒

If you wanna join a taglist, DM me what for! "Pspspsss, please tag me for [All SAGAU posts, Only SAGAU Language AUs, diff fandom, etc.]!"

(If you ever wanna drop, just DM me! "No more taglists/[specifically this AU/fandom] please!")

♡the beloveds♡

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If ur tag doesnt work, pls check ur settings to see if ur a "searchable blog"!! Its not the same as the Ai selling data thing.

[faggot-greg-house]

ppl are too mean to house: a thesis

i saw a post the other day about how house ruins everyone that interacts with him and i went into full on protection mode. so lets talk about this.

yes, house is an asshole! thats a major part of his character. but he's not JUST an asshole, and he isn't a bad person. house cares so so much about his friends and his patients and the life he lives. he cares so much about the people around him, even though it's hard for him to show it! i've talked abt my house abuse thoughts here before but he grew up constantly moving around and never being able to make friends, and he also grew up being abused. it is not at all surprising that he is afraid of connection, of intimacy.

the thing is though - house shows again and again how much he cares. he cares so much about the people around him. he offers to kill thirteen when she can't handle it anymore. he's in love with wilson, even if you only want to see it platonically. he cares about patients. he cares so fucking much, and yet people, in the show ajd in the fandom, constantly try to describe him as someone who doesn't care at all. he doesn't just hurt people for fun.

the reality of the situation is that house has trauma and doesnt have an easy time showing it, and throughout the fandom and the show he is treated as some sort of monster. he deserves better across the board

[the-moon-files]

Wait, quick idea! Twilight looks like the only hylian in his village because everyone else has round ears, so what if he wasn’t as surprised as the others to see their human companion so resilient, but still fairly impressed because of the fact that most if not all people in his village don’t put themselves in as drastic situations as the reader? Or is this just humans from our world?

get out of my head lmao /lh - you, me, and wayfayrr are actually the same person on diff accounts LMAO

im of the belief that (blame @wayfayrr, my beloved) that he knows of humans bc of some in his village but yeah, just not the type of human in drastic situations

(ALSO they wrote me a fun, long, glorious, male reader human space orc au fic for winning their raffle a bit ago, and it brings up their headcanon abt this and i Adore It actually, check it out here pls if u wanna know🤲)

(also if u see this wayfayrr, sorry for the ping, also should i be calling u moss? or wayfayrr?? idk which, i hope thats even ok to ask 😭 i assumed u would call my ass Moon)

Moon: Male-Masc Reader (he/him)

Orbit: short headcanons-ish, rambling mostly

Stars: Twilight Princess Link (Twi/Twilight), mentions of other Links

Comets & Meteors: CWs: none known, & TWs: none known.

Please comment if I missed any. /gen

to reiterate what i said up there, in case u skipped it for the bullet points,

i like the headcanon he knows humans, knows some of their quirks, and how they were the first ppl the other hylian villagers called on to help stuck cows or downed wagons, lots of heavy lifting stuff

but he really hasnt seen the extent of real humans, bc the humans who were in Ordon, well, they lived in hylian society,

why would they need the adrenaline to lift a car when hylians have set up whole tools and systems in all their towns to help lift just a full bucket of water out of the well??

not to mention, i think all the humans in his village were older adults? like at least not the age theyd be doing things like parkour or going to any trampoline parks type of age,

id imagine its more like stories talked about amongst hylians how hard humans can go, and even the humans themselves talked abt things like,

“well compared to u hylians, we have stomachs made of molten lava to you guys really, but we never have to use it, bc u know hylian food works just fine”

when Twi asked they would say stuff like that, but as soon as he saw ur human ass just picking wildflowers and berries off the side of the road to snack on? even random grasses/vines at some point (kudzu)?? easily eating Wild’s Dubious Food that's DEFINITELY got monster parts in it???! gnawing on the bone of a cucco and it just breaks??!!! and you look surprised too, thank fuck finally a normal reaction from u- oh my goddesses u were just curious (damn the elders were right abt human curiosity too) **and are now sucking out the marrow and eating the bone-!!!!!!!!!!!!

Twilight’s perspective of you is actually the equivalent of like, reading stories about vampires all ur life, then this new friend you made starts to get allergic to garlic, crave blood, has crazy strength and advanced senses, etc

and he’s just watching those honest-to-Hylia human mythological feats play out in real time in front of him, like he’s the only self-aware character in the story that immediately clocks the really obvious vampire as a vampire lmao

is the first to either 1. start choking on his laugh as he theoretically knows ur about to jump on the back of a lynel/hinox to ride it around and watch as the others come to the same conclusion OR 2. try to Stop you from jumping on said big monster in an attempt to ride it around bc he gets used to ur human BS quicker than the others and can see it coming a mile away now lol

very much so this meme:

(ur welcome i made it myself <3)

anyway id love to rant abt this dynamic

abt both Twi’s shock at you eating peppers like a god has come down from the sky to prove their immortality,

but also poor rancher esstientally humansitting you too lmao

the Chain/Time/Wars absolutely put him down as the resident human expert like: “ok he just drank like, 5? No- Four stop him from drinking more at least- (dual sighs). okay, 6 stamina potions, will that kill him??”

Twilight, saviour of Hyrule, of the Twili, Link from Twilight Princess himself,

has to keep a record book of all the new shit he’s heard/learned about humans in Ordon, what he has actively learned abt ur ass just fucking around and finding out, and the few bread crumbs of information u give him abt ur species

(that rlly just come off as kind of cryptid statements abt u/humanity, or don't apply in this scenario bc ur only comparison is Earth Rules, which honestly scare every single fucking one of them in the same way as walking on Ganon’s lawn or something, like straight up view ur home planet as enemy territory, the Amazon jungle, the Hyrule wilds if you will-)

Twilight also gets involuntarily volunteered for human-sitting duty too

tbh the only person Not allowed on human-sitting duty, when u guys go new areas esp, is Wild/Hyrule

you’d tell him you wanna get inside the guardian robot to operate it and ride it around and he’d probably be in shock you even fathomed something like that, yet also now EXTREMELY intrigued to watch it play out

(they’re both more of a “u wanna jump off a cliff?? that's actually crazy, wait for me please.” he seems to think he can somehow protect you if he joins you? its worked sometimes to be fair to him ¯\_ (ツ)_/¯ just not really conveniently when the rest of the Chain are around lmao)

☆

i live btw, ive been writing/updating fics along with life updates (moving states/new job/online class) so a few asks will hopefully be answered over here in the next 2ish weeks

no promises, my life is kinda girlbossing at the moment too close to the sun and i am Nervous abt disappointing u guys

i already feel like im disappointing my other blog bc i haven't posted in forever bc im writing a fic instead of asks during any free time i dedicate to writing for it so :/

pls excuse my super slowness like a package ur waiting for in the mail or smth type of slow

AGAIN thanks for the ask!! i hope this was at least entertaining to read as some addon to what u said, you guys have gotta check out some of wayfayrr’s stuff if ur into this, bc they're the only other place i can think of that's talked abt humans not just being the same as hylians

have a great week!!

Peace out hugs and chaos,

🌙

[fuck-customers]

I'm the anon who sent in an ask abt accidentally co-ordinating a mass call out, saw a lot of ppl wanting the know the aftermath so here's your updoot :>

All 3 of us did end up calling in (during the early morning, so we never had to directly talk to our boss, but the manager on at the time) plus another random 4th person, who wasn't apart of the original group and is just a regular sickie chucker. When my boss did see the emails that morning, he came to my station and had a mini freakout/breakdown to the opener. Ended up not being able to cover the midshift with a proper staff member who works in our department, so no prep was done or topped up all day; the opener was in on what we were doing and also didn't like the staff on that night so her attitude was very much 'sounds like a them problem'.

From what I heard of the close, it went about as well as I expected; a massive shitshow. The one coworker who I really don't like our of the 3 stooges ended up being forced into doing the close, and boy did she fuck it up. That next morning the place was a total trash heap- with shit still being dirty, equipment not being turned off, and just looking like crap in general. According to another coworker who was there briefly it wasn't even bc she was busy, she just never bothered to even START her closing duties or clean and let everything build right until the end. The opener was so mad they went and got my boss to come down and look at the place the morning after and he pulled lazy coworker into a meeting about it that night, saying there was no reason she had to stay back an hour past her clock out time and still leave the place looking like a dump. I had to work with her that next night and she was being really passive aggressive to me abt it, kept saying things like 'yeah it was so bad, if only SOMEONE didn't call in on us' (like get fucked, maybe if you didn't suck I wouldn't have had to prioritise my mental health).

There was an hour wait time basically all that night (something that shouldn't have happened, I saw the sales the from the night and it wasn't even that bad, they're all just that slow) and a shit ton of people complained about either not receiving their food, or the food they did get being cold/not cooked properly. The managers on that night had to get called over a bunch to do a lot of voids and refunds. One of my regulars who was in that night said things didn't even look busy, the person on close just spent more time leaning around or freaking out then actually doing anything.

As for myself and the 2 others who called in, we all had a really good day off. The midshift was telling me how they spent the day relaxing and even got themself a little spa day, I ended up catching up on some chores work had severely pushed back and the other chick just relaxed at home all night. No one walked out and the place didn't burn down, so it's a little anti-climatic ik, but oh well. Good day for us, not so good for the others :3 It was nice at least that they got a taste of what we have to deal with whenever they're on.

Posted by admin Rodney

[ourflagmeansgayrights]

man i saw this and i was gonna write a whole post abt how maybe the problem for these ppl isn’t that ed wasn’t punished enough (even tho that’s what they say) maybe it’s that it’s a poorly-executed redemption arc but they don’t know how to verbalize that.

and that would actually make sense bc ed doesn’t have a redemption arc in s2. bc the show does not think ed needs redeeming. even at his worst and most harmful to the people around him the show is deeply sympathetic towards him and gives us sooooo much screentime dedicated to showing us that everything ed does he only does bc he’s hurting. which doesn’t excuse any of what he does but it does shift the narrative framing away from an actual redemption arc, where a character needs to like, learn why the things they did were bad and try to make amends. but ed never needed to learn anything, he knew his actions were unacceptable and that’s why he did them. he was trying to be the most horrific monster he could be in hopes that someone would get sick of him and kill him.

so then i went looking for an old post i wrote abt redemption arcs to talk abt why ed’s s2 arc probably reads like a poorly-written redemption arc for ppl who are expecting an actual redemption arc and. i change my mind actually. because “is this character willing to accept that their behavior is harmful, to make amends for their past behavior if at all possible, and to try and become a better person?” yeah we see ed do all of that tho.

Accept Their Behavior Is Harmful: i mean aside from the fact that ed knew this the whole time, we also see ed talking to fang about how guilty he feels for how he treated the crew. but like this isn’t zuko slowly unlearning an entire lifetime of fire nation propaganda, ed doesn’t need a season(s)-long arc abt this. He Already Knows

Make Amends For Their Past Behavior: like literally the whole thing with getting pushed off the ship!! wearing a sack and a collar at the crew’s behest!! he’s very much trying to make amends!!!!!

Try To Become A Better Person: there’s a lot i could talk abt here but just on a surface level, he’s trying to quit his job where he attacks and steals from random innocent ppl for a living. like objectively that job does not make you a good person. and also that job makes him miserable and when his mental health is in the shitter sometimes he hurts other ppl in his efforts to hurt himself so like!!! he is very much trying to not be the kind of person who forces crew members to fight to the death anymore!!!!

so yeah, thinking this was abt a “poorly-written redemption arc” was giving these ppl too much benefit of the doubt lol they just want to see ed grovel and suffer for an entire season, which was never going to happen lmao. the show thought izzy had more to apologize for than ed and that’s why ed’s apology was one sentence and izzy’s apology was a whole speech on his deathbed. the show thought izzy needed more punishment for his actions than ed did and that’s we see izzy get put through the physical ringer in the beginning of s2 and ed getting beat to death by the crew happens off-screen. ppl can argue all they want abt how ed did so much worse than izzy but at the end of the day the show disagrees with those takes and that’s why it treats these characters the way it does. die mad about it.

[waterloggedsoliloquy]

protag johnny truant talks a lot abt his sex life and the girls he fucks, seemingly without a direct relation to what he footnotes. but theres always this weird dissociative vibe to it and a lot of ppl think he's lying to sound better than he is (smth he admits to having done, telling insane stories abt how he got his disfigurements is part of his (often unsuccesful) pickup routine), but i ask what does he have to lie about in footnotes no one is ever going to see? my theory is that they are things he thinks happened, or things he is afraid of happening, and writing them out is his way of assuaging the anxiety brought on by delusion or ocd

notably these alleged fantasies are not particularly flattering or satisfying. they are under bizarre or unideal circumstances, involve him feeling deeply ambivalent and lonely, and explicitly mentions not finishing. a woman he doesnt remember becoming friends with uses him as revenge sex on her fiancé. so i find it hard to believe hes doing it to bolster an image or even an ego. if they do happen, even in part, these are not healthy or even necessarily coping mechanisms that make him feel better. often they make him feel worse, lost, alone.

I won't deny that Johnny's parts can be hard to get through. He can be crass, misogynistic, uncomfortable, unhygenic, dissociative, painful, ugly, and sometimes there's just plain bad sex. But I think it's unfair to discount these sections as entirely discrete from and unrelated to Zampano's paper on The Navidson Record. Johnny's story is included in House of Leaves for a reason. It's a part of the whole. There's a lot to be said about Johnny, whose life has never had any security to begin with, whose life is a series of winding pathways that leave him substance reliant and unsure of his place in anything-- in space in time in other people's lives-- reading a book about a movie where this upper middle class nuclear family moves into a new house and immediately have their own sense of domestic safety completely and totally shattered.

Here he is, speaking about his disfigurements (the things he has to tell ludicrous, pulpy stories about in order for people to not recoil away from him):

"All of it true too, though of course scars are much harder to read. Their complex inflections do not resemble the reductive ease of any tattoo, no matter how extensive, colorful or elaborate the design. Scars are the paler pain of survival, received unwillingly and displayed in the language of injury."

Here's him talking about that lady who has him as revenge sex:

"Before I left she told me our story: where we'd met-Texas- kissed, but never made love and this had confused her and haunted her and she had needed to do it before she got married which was in four months to a man she loved who made a living manufacturing TNT exclusively for a highway construction firm up in Colorado where he frequently went on business trips and where one night, drunk, angry and disappointed he had invited a hooker back to his motel room and so on and who cared and what was I doing there anyway? I left, considered jerking off, finally got around to it back at my place though in order to pop I had to think of Thumper. It didn't help. I was still hurting, abandoned, drank three glasses of bourbon and fumed on some weed, then came here, thinking of voices, real and imagined, of ghosts, my ghost, of her, at long last, in this idiotic footnote, when she gently pushed me out her door and I said quietly "Ashley" causing her to stop pushing me and ask "yes?" her eyes bright with something she saw that I could never see though what she saw was me, and me not caring though now at least knowing the truth and telling her the truth: "I've never been to Texas.""

I don't know. I just have a profound compassion for this guy. Maybe it's my own history with abuse and neglect and dissociation and unreality but it kind of shocks me to see how many people respond to this guy who desperately needs help and isn't going to get it, who is deeply terrified of other people and wanting them and hurting them or himself... as an imposition and annoying. It's such a fundamentally different read, one I hadn't even considered.

[callme-darling]

all these ppl in ur asks talking abt Pierre has me tweaking thinking about a continuation of ur rival!pierre fic where he picks a fight w u in front of everyone then goes on to worship u when yall r alone 😵‍💫😵‍💫

the cow prince & the dairy queen (pt.2)

word count: 2.8k

warnings: rivals with benefits dynamic, pierre is a bit of a prick, smut, little plot, fingering, p in v, unprotected sex, car sex, mentions of alcohol, pls let me know if i missed anything

a/n: this isn’t really a finished piece, but pls accept these pierre chavanges crumbs🙏🏻 (side note: this is lowkey FILTHY)

you can find pt.1 here

it had been a few weeks since yours and pierre’s fling in the pasture. a part of you was content to leave it as that—a one time act of lust; nothing more, nothing less. you both seemingly went back to your respective work; tending to your own farms with little more than an occasional nod or glare in the others direction depending on the day.

you would have been happy to never speak of it, let alone think of it. it seems, however, your happiness is irrelevant when it comes to circumstance.

fabrice was hosting a small, informal get together for the community. well technically another of his friends put it all together, fabrice simply agreed to host it at his house. and just about everyone in town was invited; including, of course, pierre chavanges.

initially, you were going to decline the invitation, but it was rare to see anyone else these days, and rarer still to be able to talk to them for more than a fleeting passing-by. so you agreed and gave fabrice a kind thanks before hanging up the phone. and now you stand in his yard, mentally kicking yourself to be so naive to think this was a good idea.

all was well for the first half hour or so. you made amiable conversation with some people you knew, some you didn’t, and the plastic cup in your hand was a comforting weight of liquid courage. yes, all was well—until you heard a loud chorus of cheers come from near the house. instantly, you smile fell when you saw whose presence was the cause for the ruckus.

you secretly had hoped he would decline the invitation, much like you almost had. but, also like yourself, he must have felt a keen obligation to his friends to at least make an appearance.

and almost immediately, your eyes met. his eyes narrowed in on you, like a predator singling out the weakest of the herd. you finish your drink and slide into a thicker part of the crowd, hoping to get the pair of lingering eyes off of you.

for nearly an hour you succeeded in avoiding one another. but then, as the party gradually began to taper off and more people began to head for their respective homes, you were drug into fabrice’s kitchen for a ‘final round’ before officially calling it a night.

and to everyone’s surprise, and your dismay, pierre had managed to stick it out too.

everyone was in boisterous conversation while you studied the contents of the cup in your hand, the earthy beer a little musty to your tastes.

“say, y/n-“ you’re pulled from your thoughts by one of the guys, “you’ve been awfully quiet tonight. don’t tell me we’re boring you.”

you force a small laugh at the jest, your eyes briefly glancing around the small room, unsurprised to find pierre looking straight at you. “no, no,” you shake your head, reclining your hips against the counter. “just been a long day.”

“the queen probably finds our conversations below herself.” the guys laugh heartily at pierre’s cheap jab. you just roll your eyes, you and pierre are easily the most sober in the room, so you excuse the others. but your glare finds pierre’s easily.

his tall friend picks up on the animosity quickly despite his inebriation, his eyes glimmering with drunken glee as he points, “ooh c’mon guys. let’s not fight, you’re both equally insufferable when you get like this.”

“i’m perfectly fine. i’m afraid it’s your friend who can’t get off his high horse.”

pierre doesn’t break eye contact as he tilts his head slightly, “she’s right. we should be nice to her majesty. we all know she’s had a rough season, after all.”

“the hell is that supposed to mean, chavanges?” your grip tightens around your cup enough to make the thin material crackle.

everyone else seems to catch the tension in the atmosphere shift from friendly pestering to something more hostile. everyone but pierre, whose lips ever so slightly twitch into a shit eating grin.

“what do you think it sounds like?”

you hold his hard stare for a long moment. ‘it’s not worth it’ you decide. you turn slightly to pour the remnants of your drink into the sink. “it sounds like it’s time for me to excuse myself.”

the boys make sounds of disapproval, some of them throwing their arms up at pierre in a silent complaint of ‘what the hell man?’, but pierre only kept his steely eyes on you, an air of indisputable satisfaction behind his expression.

you’re walking along the dirt road that’ll take you home when a set of yellow headlights illuminate your shadow. you shuffle to the side of the path, nearly standing in the shallow ditch when the vehicle slows to a stop just behind you.

“get in, princess.”

you roll your eyes when the distinct tone of pierre’s voice hits your ears. you ignore him and begin walking in the direction of your house again. a strong gust of wind wips past you. instinctively, your arms wrap around your midsection as you grumble under your breath.

pierre merely inches his truck forward, it’s muddied wheels creeping alongside you. “c’mon, get in the truck. it’s freezing.”

you grit your teeth. “i’d rather take my chances freezing then, thanks”

he chuckles and the sound nearly has you seeing red. “go the fuck home, chavanges.”

it didn’t matter how cold you were, or how nice a ride in the warm truck cab sounded. you were not so desperate to grant him the gratification of doing you a favor, no matter how minuscule.

“christ y/n,” he practically growled in nothing short of annoyance, “get in the fucking truck.”

you stop walking, a huff of warm breath dissipating into the cold air. you stand against the cold wind for a moment longer, feeling his eyes rake over you from behind. then with a resigned sigh, you wordlessly stalk to the passenger side of the truck and pull open the door.

neither of you say a word as you slip into the seat, but you can feel his eyes boring a hole in the side of your head.

“take a picture, it’ll last longer,” you finally say.

you catch the way his tongue prods the inside of his cheek before he starts driving along the quickly darkening road.

“you’re really pissed?” he asks after a long stretch of silence.

you’re looking out the window, forehead resting against the cool glass. “you’re really an asshole?”

“come on now, don’t be like that.”

you chuckle at the audacity of this man, though it comes out more like a scoff. “i take it back. you’re a piece of shit.”

“mm, that’s not what it sounded like when you were moaning my name,” he says flatly. “though, it has been a bit so maybe my memory is getting foggy.” and the pointed look he gave you left you with no need to discern what meaning lurked under the surface.

you held your breath as you leveled his gaze. the tension in the cab was oppressive. it took a good moment for you to realize he had parked his truck in one of the pull-offs. your mouth suddenly felt dry.

“tell me, princess,” you hated how your stomach fluttered at the way he said the nickname you hated so much, “does it make you angry when i do that?”

“you’re going to have to be more specific,” you breathe out. “you do a lot of things that piss me off.” you mentally curse when you catch yourself glimpsing to his lips.

he grins. “do you hate when i call you out, give you a hard time? does it make your blood boil?” he doesn’t give you a chance to answer before he’s leaning closer, his eyes sharp as they scan your face. “and does it make you angrier knowing that the guy who gets you so riled up is the same guy you let fuck you in a field a couple weeks ago?”

you swallow, jaw clenching as you turn to look out your window again. then in a moment of stupid courage, likely fueled by the traces of alcohol still running in your veins, you ask the first question that flashed in your mind.

“is this your way of saying once wasn’t enough for you?”

“yes.”

his reply was quick and void of any hints of deception. your lips parted when his answer shocked your system, instantaneously leaving you at a loss for words.

he gauged your reaction, eyes searching yours. when you say nothing, he sighs, though it’s more blasé than irritated. “you know, you’re real annoying when you go quiet like that. for all the complaining and whining you do, i know you have something in that little head of yours you want to say.” he reaches across the console of the truck to gently grab your chin. “yes or no?”

you didn’t need any further context to know what he was asking. you chew on the inside of your lip, chin titled ever so slightly by his thumb, and nod once.

“that won’t do.” he clicks his tongue and murmurs lowly, “use your words, princess.”

you lean in close, eyes steady on his as you whisper, “you can fuck me, chavanges, but i won’t beg.”

his eyes glinted with an unsaid challenge. the thumb holding your chin brushed over your bottom lip, the featherlight touch submerging your stomach in water. “we’ll see about that.”

when he pressed his lips to yours, you swear your senses completely shut everything else out. his movements were slow, languid, as his lips moved in time with yours. his tongue gently nudged past your lips.

even now, you can tell there’s been a shift since the time in the pasture. pierre was much more deliberate and subdued.

you could feel yourself leaning more into his touch, the top half of your body nearly laying on the center console. his rough hand found your jaw and pulled you even closer with a muffled groan.

you straddled his lap in the cramped truck, your ass threatening to bump against the horn until two hands pulled your hips securely on top of his. “fuck, you’re pretty like this.” the combination of his throaty compliment and his fingers digging into your hips had your breath hitching.

eyes half lidded, you peer down at him. your hands on his shoulders to steady yourself as you keep your face hovering over his. “what would you do if i just up and left? just got out of this truck of yours and left you here like this.”

pierre have you a cheeky grin, unadulterated confidence gleaming in his eyes. “we both know you wouldn’t.” he leaned close so his lips tickled your ear, “i fuck you too good for you to even consider it.”

“then you better not disappoint, chavanges.”

his grin only grew, grip on your hips moving to cup your ass. “don’t you worry, princess. just let me take care of ya.”

“oh? is the prince feeling chivalrous?”

a hand on your neck has your eyes fluttering as he whispers against your warm skin, “i suggest you be nice.” then his lips were on your throat, tongue teasing the sensitive flesh while his teeth nipped little red marks across your chest.

you fingers are in his hair as he undoubtedly leaves marks that won’t fade for a couple days over your skin. you’ll be irritated tomorrow, but for now you allow yourself to enjoy the feeling of his fleeting touch.

his large hands gave your ass another squeeze, grinding you against his jean-covered, half hard cock. you always hated how your body betrayed you, the way you can feel your pussy practically soaking through your panties and onto his lap.

pierre groans underneath you, his fingers pulling your shirt over your head, his other hand unclasping your bra with a fumbling grasp that only added to the heat of the truck. his lips abandon your neck in favor of your tits. his eyes watched you as he took one of your nipples into his mouth, rolling the sensitive nub under his tongue. his palm groped at your other breast, fingers teasingly pulling at your skin as you whine.

his mouth pulls off you with a minute wet ‘pop’. he grinned up at you, eyes no doubt studying the growing blush on your cheeks. “y’know, you sound prettier like this than when you’re bitchin’.”

you tugged his hair, a warning.

he ignores it. “fuck.. i can’t wait anymore.” it’s embarrassing, how your pussy clenched around nothing at his words. your chest shone with the warmth of his spit as his breath fans across your skin. you shudder as his fingernails skim up your arm and down the front of your collarbone. “gotta feel that little pussy of yours, been too long.”

the transition to you shimmying your worn jeans down your legs was anything but graceful, but pierre didn’t seem to mind as his own hips raised to deftly push his own pants to his thighs. the windows were already beginning to fog over with a sheen of warmth. you both took a moment, chests softly heaving in unison before pierre’s hands rubbed along your ribs and waist, wordlessly soothing the nerves crawling over your skin.

he brought his face closer to yours again, his nose nudging the column of your neck before inhaling. “been thinking about this since that day.”

you’d sooner take yourself out to pasture than admit you’d been the same. you could practically feel his sick twitch beneath the thin material of his boxers, the heat emanating from his body making your mind hazy. you whine despite yourself, pussy clenching around nothing when his finger traces over the elastic band of your panties.

“pierre, don’t tease.” it’s meant to be a warning, but it comes out breathier than needier than you anticipated.

his touch becomes more assertive, borderline experimental, as his thumb dips to the front of your crotch, easily ghosting over your clit while his eyes watch you with a glimmer of piqued enthusiasm. “are you in a rush?”

his warm breath paired with the tentative touches makes your eyes flutter. “i wanna take my time with you, this time.” finally, his long fingers tug the slick material covering your heat to the side. the calloused pads of his fingers tease your wet folds. you flush with a bright heat when the only sound in the truck is the audible wet clicking coming from pierre shamelessly playing with your soaked pussy.

your head falls to pierre’s shoulder, eyes squeezed shut as your hips twitch to meet his hand. there’s no doubt your bottom lip is gonna be bruised with how you’re biting into it, but it does little to stop the pathetic sounds from reaching his ears.

“fuck..” his low groan sends sparks down your spine. “you’re so fucking wet, i love it…”

as if to emphasize his words, he slips two long fingers into your dripping hole. your hands clutch onto his shoulders, nails pricking through his shirt but god- you were both so pent up at this point, any humiliation only added to the desperation.

pierre’s lips pressed a wet kiss onto your shoulder. the feeling of his fingers slowly dragging in and out of your cunt doubled with the material of your soft panties catching your clit with each shift of his palm, you were made pliant in a matter of minutes.

“god… missed this,” pierre stifles a groan when you clench around his fingers embarrassingly tight, “so much.”

a hand on your throat drags your face to his and his mouth is on you before you fully register his fingers leaving your heat. you’re holding back a whine when he finally frees his dick, blushed an angry red and leaking pre, from his boxers. your eyes are fixated on his cock and it only strokes his ego.

pierre’s breath warms the shell of your ear as he whispers, “you can deny it until you’re blue in the face, but i know you’ve been thinking about how i fuck you everyday since the field.”

you drag your gaze to meet his and even in the darkness of the truck cab, you can see the hunger in his eyes.

his thumb smears the precum from his tip down his shaft as he gives his cock a pump before you lift your hips. your head falls back slightly as you sink down onto his length. you both breathe softly when you finally bottom out, and it takes everything in you not to start bouncing on his lap.

instead, you bite back a small moan and give the man beneath you a heady glare, “you better not fall for me, chavanges.”

he returns it with a toothy grin, mouth already coming to hover over yours. “i definitely won’t fall for you. i just love to hate you.”

[piwstri4]

gracias por nada | ln4

paring: f1driver!ex!lando norris x fashion designer!ex!reader

summary: you were robbed of a happy married life.

part two - masterlist

ynclo

liked by danielricciardo, lewishamilton, fancolapinto and 33,769 others

ynclo 'cause i know we fall apart when nothing's new

view all 444 comments

danielricciardo i took literally all the pics of you and this is what i get?

ynclo u are very goodlooking if i were you i'd stop complaining (thnx 4 the pics danny ric)

danielricciardo 👎🏼

user1 so are we gonna ignore the plushie bc,,,,

user2 ikr like miss girly?????? are u gonna address the rumors or????

user3 what's the issue? i think it's rlly cute

user1 she crocheted that for her (ex)bf so yeaaaa

user3 WHAT

user2 they are (were) engaged but neither are addressing the topic

user4 it's their lives maybe yall should stop forcing them to talk abt it

user5 THE SHIRT OMG SHE'S NOT LETTING IT DIE

user6 i just KNOW that danny showed that pic to charles and he rolled his eyes

user7 it's getting kinda old tbh atp it's just cringey

user8 literally no one asked

lewishamilton new collection drop when?

ynclo VERY SOON stay tuned king 👑

user9 he truly is her biggest supporter

user10 isn't she like 23 or smt?? why does she talk with drivers that old anyways??

user11 daniel's her cousin...

user12 it's been 3 hours and no lando like or comment,,,,,

user13 well it is rumored that they called it off so

user14 what am i missing wtf?????

user15 some ppl are saying they broke off their engagement or smt we dont know bc they haven't said anything yet

user16 she also posted a story then deleted it like 2 minutes later w some shady lyric

user13 omg????

user17 fr "u can think that ure in love when ure rlly just engaged"

user18 the caption?

user19 first her story and now this...

user20 omg i saw it too wtf

landonorris

liked by mclarenf1, oscarpiastri, danielricciardo and 99,687 others

landonorris in the back of the nightclub sipping champagne 🥂

view all 10,023 comments

carlossainz55 great night 🥂

landonorris it always is w me 😉

user1 im gonna say this just one time ok? wtf

charlesleclerc let's do it again!

landonorris sure!

user2 looking hot as usual!!!

user3 bestie r we gonna talk abt u know what

user4 frrrrrr liek wtf was this post

user5 omg let the man LIVE ffs

user6 this is getting rlly annoying tbh

maxverstappen1 🔥

landonorris 👍🏼

mclarenf1 nice after race party drunk boy

user7 omg i love the mclaren admin

user8 the admin deserves the world

user9 so like....... u and that fashion girly?????

user10 i wanna know too guys but pls stop commenting that on their posts!!!

user11 he's just happy to be on the podium i love him sm

user12 THE SONG????

user13 idk if ur talking abt the caption or yn's story

user14 let's not bring her here pls

user13 i miss yn in the comments....

user16 he didn't comment on her post either :///

user15 stop bringing her up omg

DUSK.CLOTHING

liked by ynclo, lewishamilton and 1,567,814 others

DUSK.CLOTHING Once again a success! Thanks to everyone who was a part of this, we could have never done this without every single one of you, we love you always.

view all 87,947 comments

ynclo i love you guys so much!!!! nice job everyone, you all looked stunning out there🫀

user17 i love her so much

user18 lando news?

user19 she just loves her crew so much i cant😭😭😭

lewishamilton nice runway, you never disappoint

ynclo i WILL cry

lewishamilton ???

user20 she's just so perfect with her designs but THE MODELS OMG everything is so on point it's amazing

user21 how come she's so young and yet she serves THIS

user22 nepotism

user24 do you even know what nepotism is????

user23 yall just throw the word around like it's nothing huh

danielricciardo the talented one of the family

ynclo thanks i know

user25 gorgeous as always

user26 admin knows anything abt the l*ndo topic??

user27 admin here is strictly professional

lewishamilton a masterpiece.

DUSK.CLOTHING Always happy to have you!

ynclo thank you!!

ynclo

liked by lewishamilton, arthurleclerc and 42,923 others

ynclo jodiendo en el presente los planes del futuro (los quise sola pero nos imaginé juntos)

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user28 translation: "fucking up today all the future's plans (i wanted them alone yet i pictured us together)"

danielricciardo nice bouquet

ynclo thank you danny ricc got them 4 me

danielricciardo he sounds like a nice guy

ynclo ehhhhh

user29 isn't it weird that she keeps flirting with older drivers???

user30 they've said it a million times danny and her are cousins

arthurleclerc go bestie go!!

ynclo shush ure embarrassing me in front of the cool ppl

user31 i know yall saw her flirting w [] too

user32 he's her fucking cousin

user33 NOT THAT ONE, THE YOUNGER ONE

lewishamilton fire runway🔥🔥

ynclo thanks i designed the clothes myself!!!

user34 mother always serves

user35 ofc she does she's drop dead gorgeous

user36 she could literally model her own clothes

user37 is the caption abt u know who???

user38 istg if the comments section starts to fill up with shit like this im gonna crawl under everyone's bed

user39 not confirmed yet

user40 she speaks spanish????

user41 she's from latam!! her fam moved to italy when she was like 10

user42 aren't her and danny cousins tho??

user43 god forbid immigrants have family in other countries right??

user44 i need her to address the elephant in the room

user45 let's not do that here

user47 ikrrrr she needs to talk abt it asap

landonorris

liked by oscarpiastri, carlossainz55, mclarenf1 and 98,928 others

landonorris lost my girl but she aint worth the prize

view all 87,823 comments

user48 he really is just a man

danielricciardo rude

user49 go tell him king!!!

user50 danny defending yn makes me believe in men again

user51 didn't she say something abt still being friends???

user52 yea but he's a dick and he made sure everyone knows that

user53 she's a bitch tho

user52 lol?

user54 she wanted him to keep his reputation yet he's out there ruining it

user55 her fault for being a shit gf

user56 go touch some grass girly

user57 they were giggling and hugging at the paddock last week wtf happened

user58 they were getting MARRIED next month what the hell happened

user59 kinda get it tho? she was annoying

user60 l*ndo stans and yn haters are fucking crazy

user61 cry abt it

charlesleclerc looking fire but talking shit

landonorris cant hear u im busy

user62 "i carry him in my chest wherever i go, because otherwise i'd be devastated from the sorrow of not having him around"

user63 "i have never loved someone like i love him, he holds together the pieces of my heart"

user64 "for all i know we could be together in every lifetime because i don't think my soul could ever long for someone else"

user65 nice now i'll go cry

user66 kinda happy that they broke up

user67 he looks happy now

user68 she dodged a bullet fr

user69 she was in love with him

user70 he was too.

user71 doesn't look like he was

ynclo

liked by DUSK.CLOTHING, arthurleclerc, francolapinto and 57,287 others

ynclo tú vete tranquilo, no me debes nada. empaca tus cosas, no te dejes nada.

view all 51,723 comments

user72 mom's getting angry in spanich omg

user73 in spanich

user74 im her official translator now girlies dw "you can leave in peace, you owe me nothing. pack all your things and dont leave anything behind."

user75 im in love w u thank u so much!!!

user74 no prob!!

user76 GRACIAS POR NADA!!! GRACIAS POR NADA!!!! @ him bestie

user77 she's a benito fan omg

user78 a what???

user79 latino artist

user80 she saw him trashing her and said fuck peace, go girly!!!

danielricciardo el gordo lui

ynclo cant believe u only learnt to say that in spanish

danielricciardo hola me llamo daniel

user81 is she home???

user82 came back to italy this morning i believe, she posted the airport in her stories

user83 she really said im getting over l*ndo

user84 she doesn't look happy :(((

user85 she looks tired, i guess all that time in the relationship drained her

user86 they were happy, dont trash their relationship like that

user87 "you think that you're in love when you're really just engaged" anyone?

arthurleclerc come visit me one day, we're country neighbors

ynclo im not setting a foot there unless u take me to the casino

arthurleclerc I CANT EVEN BET IN THE CASINO

ynclo sounds like a u problem

user88 is she flirting w that guy again??

user89 well she's a bitch, of course she'd do that

user90 they've been friends since she met danny

[shattersstar]

ok but we need to hear more about college dick now👀👀

hehe ask and u shall receive because ohhh myyy dick in college is such a messsssssss but like so pretty it’s almost unfair

—

i love the idea of dick and a bunch of his friends getting a house together with the intent of being Normal for the first time in a while, which means being absolute menaces as most 20 smth yr old guys are

very much known for being a party house bordering a frat but all the guys r so nice that it’s rlly hard to think of them like that. it’s a space where he can let go, feel like himself and with the encouragement of his friends, dick puts the brakes on like relationship hunting and just has fun..

he’s been in pretty committed relationships since he was old enough to be and has always struggled with casual dating let alone sleeping with people he barely know. but when dick learns there r ppl out there looking for the same thing and not everyone wants to b the next future ex mr/mrs. grayson it makes it a lil easier to be his charming self with no bounds <33

and then he mets you and it’s the usual routine, flirting you to his bedroom which is in the basement—of course—well alllllmost doing so until you vanish out of his grasp for reasons dick cannot discern (you weren’t here for him silly)

and while he’s not like one of those oh i wanted to hit and couldn’t so im gonna chase you types, dick does have to reconcile with the fact your friends with roy and spend a lot of time at the house now

which also means he learns how cool you r and how goofy he feels for just tryna sleep with you

and despite his friends vouching for him you really only see (and have heard the numerous rumours) dick as a rich playboy and that’s not for you. plus he’s def a business or poli sci major……….but with a psych minor bc it feels the most practical despite how boring dick finds most of his classes

though when he realizes your both in a psych elective together he’s all toothy grins and obnoxious air which isn’t helping his case but of course he’s a decent student and when you mentioned hating statistics—you were stuck with the worse prof outta the two—dick jumped at the chance to help

you were sooooooo skeptical and even though agreed you kept brushing him off until dick just started helping you when you were over to hang out. he drops a textbook in your lap while sitting in roy’s bed or starts reviewing your notes and adding examples while your hanging out on the living room floor building lego sets with everyone else.

and dick did that a lot—sure it was his house and roy was his best friend along with all of his other housemates but dick never hesitated to insert himself into whatever you were doing when you came over. and it shouldn’t surprised you but everyone being so..unbothered by it had you confused. like maybe that’s how dick is but it spoke bounds to their closeness and was the First time you actually saw a little more to dick than just some campus hottie douchebag who threw parties to get laid

and while you weren’t about to tell dick that, you did start coming over with the intent of working on stats together. it usually meant dick having to re-lecture whatever your prof barely managed to explain and helping you with the page long equations needed for assignments

and dick keeps it as platonic as possible, on a mission to prove he’s not the person you think he is and not only because he wanted to be with you—well yeah he does—but because dick cares what you think about him. he knows his friends care about you and value what you have to say and he wants you to know it’s the same for him

and maaaybe you see that too but dick needs to suffer a little more

—

bonus: you talk to dick abt ppl you’re interested in at some point (either genuinely or to mess with him) when he insists on always hanging out with you and roy. and while he gives advice with a smile, still trying to prove his capacity for mature, platonic relationships, dick screams into his pillow later that night when he goes over the convo again and again and agai—

bonus bonus: he’s probably on the school’s gymnastics team <3