#i never really got into the series but i love rhythm games

[cocotome]

PQube is localizing I*Chu Chibi Edition for Switch!! Pre-order link in the tweet~

[mountttmase]

Change Of Heart

The Middle - Part Three

Note - chapter three wooooo. Thank you so much for all your feedback last week and I’m really sorry I didn’t reply to you guys. It was a weird few days and I’ve been sick so it slipped my mind but I really appreciate you guys so much. I hope you enjoy this one too and happy halfway mark 🩷

Pairing - Mason Mount x Reader

Word count - 6.3k

Warnings - series contains angst & fluff

Never in a million years did you think you’d be in the pickle you were in right now.

You’d never felt this awful about yourself before, fleeing the flat that you’d shared with Jack for just over three years since your second year of uni and returning to your childhood home for some much needed comfort. But the only person's comfort you wanted was still in training.

You thought everything was turning out perfectly, moving out of halls and into your first big girl flat with Jack was a massive step but you’d fallen into domestic life perfectly. The both of you still on the same course but taking a few different modules meaning you weren’t together 100% of the time and being able to study together and push each other forward helped you get the best results possible. Both ending up with firsts and it didn’t take you long to land a job so you could continue to live where you’d both made your new home but right now that all now seemed like a long lost dream.

As soon as you made it home to your parents house you rushed up to your old room. Ignoring your family entirely as you locked yourself away and as soon as you thought Mason might be finished with training you sent him a quick text.

Mason, he was always there when you needed him.

You were surprised at first at how quickly the pair of you had fallen back into the rhythm of being friends. Waking up that next morning after your dads birthday party to find him pressed up against your back with his head in your neck and an arm around your waist, but it was the fact he’d clearly gotten hot in the night and taken his jeans off that had made you chuckle. Knowing how much he didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable by taking his clothes off but you enjoyed waking up next to him more than you let on.

He’d woken up shortly after you and after a quick squeeze you felt him move away, not wanting you to wake up with him pressed against you but you were quickly rolling over so you could press yourself up against him and hold him to you until you felt his chest rumble with laughter.

‘Morning Masey’

‘Morning, love. You sleep okay?’

‘Surprisingly well actually. What about you?’

‘Yeah not bad’ he whispered but you could tell he was a little shy still. Not able to look you in the eyes for more than a few seconds but it was just nice to have him back in any capacity.

Mason stuck to his word after that night, always keeping in contact as often as he could and when he went on loan to Derby County you made sure to go to as many games as you could manage. Jack always in tow as it became your little thing but as soon as he joined back up with Chelsea Jack had to stop. Telling you he didn’t feel right cheering for Chelsea as an Arsenal fan so you ended up going to games alone or with some of the Chelsea girlfriends as Mason introduced you to more people as he made friends.

You were so proud of him, watching him take the world by storm and as his second season was coming to an end you knew one of the biggest games of his life was coming up and he didn’t need any distractions.

You needed him though. Urgently.

You needed him more than you'd ever needed anyone in your life and as you sat and waited for him to show up you felt sicker and sicker. The gravity of the situation still not hitting you properly as you hadn’t managed to speak it out loud to him yet but you knew you needed to get a grip.

When Mason eventually got to your house, the door was opened by your mother who gave him a concerned look as she nodded him in and he wasn't sure what to to think at all.

‘She’s in her room but she won’t tell me what’s wrong’ she huffed, rolling her eyes slightly and it struck him as a bit weird because he knew you told your mum everything. The fact she was laughing it off though made him think it was that serious though and he felt his heart calm down slightly.

‘I’ll speak to her’ he reassured her. Touching her arm as if to comfort her slightly before he made his way up the stairs and straight to your room. Knocking gently as the door was shut but he really didn’t know what to expect.

‘You in there love?’ He called, knocking lightly again as he didn’t know if you were sleeping but you were far from it. Laid on your back as you looked up to the ceiling to try and control your breathing but his voice had you sat up straight in an instant.

‘Yeah’ you answered, hoping it was loud enough for him to hear but you knew your voice sounded strained and when the door finally opened and you could see his face you felt yours crumple. Hot tears running thick and fast down your face but Mason was quick to shut the door and rush to your side so he could pull you into his arms.

Even though he had no idea what was going on, the fact he’d dropped everything to come here and comfort you meant the world and as you sobbed into his chest you’d never felt more lucky to have a friend like him.

He let you take your time, rubbing you back soothingly to calm you down enough to speak and even though you were petrified, you knew Mason would be there for you and on your side no matter what you told him.

‘Hey, come on it’s okay’ he whispered, trying to pull back so he could look at you but you weren’t ready yet and he didn’t push you to talk until your tears had died down. ‘It’s alright, love. Take your time, yeah? I’m not going anywhere’

‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you come all this way’

‘No no don’t be silly, you know I would have come a lot further if you needed me to’ he whispered. Trying his best to settle you so that you’d come out and tell him what’s wrong and when you looked up at him with a pout, his heart broke for you. ‘What is it, love? Whats happened?’

‘Me and Jack… well there isn’t a me and Jack anymore. He’s left me’ you told him, your voice wobbling as you tried your best not to break down again but you could tell he was shocked as he pulled you back into his chest.

‘Oh y/n’ he sighed, wrapping his arms around you tighter and rubbing your back soothingly. ‘What happened?’

‘If I tell you, can you promise it stays between us’ you asked, not wanting anyone to know your secret just yet but you knew you were about to burst if you didn’t tell someone.

‘Well I don’t kn-‘

‘No Mason, you have to promise’ you begged, feeling yourself get hysterical as he wasn’t promising but when he cupped your jaw you looked straight into eyes and knew you had nothing to worry about.

‘Okay okay, I promise, yeah?’ he told you, grabbing your hand out of your lap so he could link your pinkies together and you smiled for the first time that day at the gesture. ‘I pinkie promise you it stays between us. Now spill’

You tried your hardest to tell him, the words stuck on the tip of your tongue and it took a few tries but he never tried to rush you. Giving you the time he needed you gather yourself and get the words right but it was like you’d forgotten how to speak.

‘I can’t Mase, I can’t say it’

‘Why not?’

‘Cause if I say it then it’s happening and-‘

‘Whatever it is, no matter how bad you think it might be, I’m here yeah?’ He told you. Stroking your cheek so you could look at each other properly. ‘I’ll always be here. You’re not on your own at all so just tell me and we can face it together’

‘I’m pregnant’

The words came out as a whisper and you weren’t even sure if Mason understood at first but when you watched his face contort into one of shock you knew he had. All the breath in his lungs being expelled at once as what you’d said hit him like a slap in the face, but now you’d said it out loud the words came pouring out of you like word vomit.

‘I found out a few days ago and I’m way further along than I was expecting and it’s all just such a mess. I didn’t want to add more pressure onto your plate with the final coming up but I didn’t know who else to tell I’m so so sorry Mase-‘

‘You do not need to apologise, okay? You have nothing to be sorry for’ he whispered and you could see he was trying his hardest to comfort you but he was also stunned by what you’d told him. ‘Sorry I feel like I’m being shit but I don't know what to say’

‘No it’s fine, I don’t know either’ you laughed and the fact you’d cracked a bit made him smile. Pulling you into his chest so you could cuddle into him and when his fingers began to massage over your scalp you felt yourself melt.

‘Are you okay? Like are you feeling okay?’ He whispered into the side of your head and you nodded softly.

‘I’m a bit sick but I’m fine I promise’ you told him looking back up into his big brown eyes and it was as clear as day how much he cared and how worried he was for you.

‘So Jack left when you told him?’ He asked carefully but all you could do was nod knowing your voice would fail you. ‘I’ll kill him. I swear to god I’ll kill him’

‘Please don’t, I just wanna forget he ever existed’ you sniffed before looking down into your lap so you could let your tears fall.

‘Look at me’ he whispered, taking your face in his hands again so he could kiss your forehead and you felt yourself relax in his hold. Looking up at him through your tears but you could see he was calming down. ‘He never deserved you. The both of you, okay?’ He mumbled. Your eyes spilling over as he referred to you as a pair and even though you were petrified you knew you’d be okay as long as you had your best friend. ‘I don’t care what you say, I’m here now and I’m taking care of you’

‘No mase, you can’t-���

‘I don’t wanna hear it okay.’ He cut you off, tucking your hair behind your ears. ‘Call it payback or whatever for when I left for a year but you’re not on your own. I’ll do whatever you need me to’

‘Mase-‘

‘You need to do one thing for me though, okay’ he asked and you had no idea what it was but you were willing to do just about anything for him right now. ‘I need you to tell your mum’

You knew he was right, there was no way you could hide this from her and you’d need all the help you could get but the prospect of telling your family terrified you. You knew this wasn’t what they wanted for you and the thought of disappointing them hurt but you knew deep down he was right.

‘Will you come with me?’ You asked quietly and his face softened immediately.

‘Of course I will’

‘Okay, let me just go to the loo and sort myself out and we can do it’ you smiled. Leaving him alone in your room for a moment but you had no idea what he was about to do as he reached for his phone and called the one person he needed to talk to.

‘Hello?’

‘Don’t talk and don’t put the phone down’ he said lowly, his mind scrambled with what he wanted to say but in the end he blurted it all out. ‘I’m just calling to tell you you’re a piece of shit and if you dare thinking about coming near her again I’ll rip your fucking head off’

‘Oh give it a rest mate, you think I give a shit?’ Jack laughed and the sound made Mason want to punch something. ‘You should be thanking me anyway, I know you’ve wanted me out of the picture since I got there. Not that it makes much difference, she still picked me even when you were begging for her’

‘Shut the fuck up’ Mason spat but it made no difference. Jack was still laughing at him down the phone like he thought he was pathetic and it made Mason want to scream.

‘Don’t call me again and I won’t call you. And don’t worry, I don’t plan on being near her anytime soon’

‘How can you be like this? You’re gonna chuck it all away for no reason?’

‘I never wanted a kid, that was never in my plans. She can do what she wants but I’m out. Just like I’m out of this conversation. I would say good luck with everything but I don’t mean it’ he said before hanging up and Mason could only just contain his rage.

How could he say that about you? You’d stuck with him for so long and Mason knew how much you loved him so to hear him speak about you in this way infuriated him. Mason was never Jacks biggest fan but he’d always been respectful for your sake and now he wished he never had been.

‘Mase, you coming?’ You called, your head poking into your room to see him looking furious but as soon as his eyes fell on you his whole face changed.

‘I’m here love, sorry’ he smiled. Popping his phone back into his pocket and meeting you by the door so he could take your hand and lead you downstairs. It was safe to say you were terrified but as long as you had Mason you knew you could get through this.

Telling your mum you were about to become a single parent was one of the hardest things you ever had to do, but she could see how upset and scared you were and thankfully wasn’t hard on you. Begging you to stay home so she could look after you and you took her up on the offer so you could be closer to Mason and away from the home you used to share with Jack. Even staying with him some nights just for a break and you always felt your happiest when you were next to him.

He did everything for you. He cooked, he cleaned, he even did your washing and when the time came for his big game he called you as soon as he could after he’d won to let you know it was you and your little pickle that pushed him over the finish line and gave him the strength to win.

When he had a small break from football he took you away for a few days just the two of you and you knew what you must have looked like to other people but you never corrected them. You just held his hand and let him treat you even if you did feel awful about it but in the back of your mind you wanted people to think you were together. That you had your life in order and the father of your child was in the picture rather than off doing god knows what because you weren’t good enough for him.

Pregnancy was tough. You felt sick most of the way through it and even though you were trying your hardest to make out that you were fine, you were still mourning the loss of the man you thought you’d be spending the rest of your life with. You kept your sadness private though, waiting until you were in the safety of your bedroom of a night to let your tears flow.

It took a while but you knew it had to stop. Your life still had to move on without him and you had a whole new human to think about. If he didn’t want to be a part of your lives then that’s his choice but it was also your choice to give your baby the best life you could.

Mason couldn’t make it to your first scan but he made sure to take you to your second. You could tell he was unsure about if you wanted him to actually come in with you or not but you just nodded your head in the direction of the door and he followed you in with a huge smile.

‘I see your red lipstick is back’ he commented as he helped you up onto the bed but all you could do was send him a smile. It was rare you’d worn it over the last few years as Jack always complained when you did but now you were free of him, you were free to wear it again. Feeling more like yourself with each day that passed.

‘So todays the day’ the nurse smiled as she gelled your belly up. ‘What have you decided?’ She asked but Mason was looking at you confused. He had no idea what an important scan this was but you just smiled at him before turning to her.

‘I want to know’ you confirmed but Mason just looked at you like you were speaking another language.

‘Am I missing something here? Want to know what?’

‘What I’m having. I can find out if it’s a boy or a girl today’ you told him and his eyebrows almost got lost in his hairline he was that shocked.

‘Oh’ he smiled. ‘Wait you’re just gonna find out now? No big gender reveal or anything?’

‘Nah, I don’t fancy it’ you shrugged. ‘I’ve got the most important person here who needs to know so I don’t see why I should wait. What do you think?’

‘Let’s do it’ he smiled, his eyes sparkling as they filled with tears and you squeezed his hand to let him know it was okay as the nurse began the search for your little one. ‘What am I having then? A niece or a nephew’ he joked, squeezing your hand gently as she moved the probe around and she let out a little laugh before her eyes fell to you.

‘Y/n… you’re having a little girl’

You didn’t realise you were crying until you felt Mason's lips on your forehead. Warm trickles spilling down your cheeks at the gesture as you covered your face with your free hand.

You’d told yourself you would be happy with whatever your baby was but deep down you knew you wanted a girl. A little mini you who would be your absolute best friend and now you knew you were getting your wish you couldn’t hold your sobs in. The nurse leaving the pair of you alone so Mason could help you calm down and after a few more forehead kisses and reassuring words in your ear you were semi back to normal.

‘Sorry Mase, it’s just a lot’

‘I know, love. It’s okay though, you’re allowed to get upset’ he reassured you and before you knew it you were getting packed up to leave and go home with fresh pictures of you little girl in hand.

You made a quick stop in the loo before you left, something that was now becoming a regular occurrence and once you were out, Mason was nowhere to be seen. You wondered if he’d maybe been mobbed by fans and had to go and hide but as soon as you got your phone out to text him he appeared. A sly smile on his face as he hid his hands in the front pocket of his hoodie and you eyed him curiously until he let out a giggle.

‘Where did you go?’ You asked him, the smile on his face contagious as he tried to suppress it.

‘The gift shop’

‘Why? Isn’t it full of flowers and get well soon cards?’

‘There was a lot of that yes, but I wanted to get my niece her first teddy’ he smiled, reaching back into his front pocket and pulling out a little giraffe teddy with a pink bow tied round the bottom of its neck and you felt your eyes sting for the millionth time that day.

‘Oh Mase’ you whispered. ‘That must have cost you an arm and a leg in there’

‘Worth it’ he smiled and when he wrapped his arm around your shoulders, you let him lead you out to the car to go home.

As you neared the end of your pregnancy you were ready for it all to be over with. Your little pickle wasn't so little anymore and everything was hurting. The worst were the Braxton Hicks contractions and even though you’d been having them for a few weeks now, the ones today felt worse. You weren’t due to give birth for another two weeks though so you knew it was nothing serious however after a call to your midwife she advised you to come in and stay the night to be observed.

You called Mason that night once you were settled in, letting him know you were staying over as a precaution and even when he tried to protest you made him stay home. He had a big game the next day and you didn’t want him to worry and get himself in a tizz when you’d be chilling in bed all day and by the time you were both ready to sleep he was pleading with you to see you afterwards. Agreeing that he could come and visit you after his game and you went to sleep excited that you’d be able to see him tomorrow.

As far as games go, it was a good one for Mason. He stuck to his promise and scored you a goal, his first of the season, which was then followed by 2 more. His first Chelsea hat trick and you just wished you would have been able to watch it in a little more comfort.

As soon as Mason could get out of there he did. Discreetly letting the staff know what was happening so they let him go without another word and even though all his team mates wanted to celebrate, there was only one place he wanted to be.

He knew he had time but he also wanted to get to you as quickly as he could so he only made one stop to pick you up a few things and he made it to the hospital by 6pm. Thankfully your mum had told him where abouts in the hospital he had to go and once he made it to the maternity ward reception he didn’t have to look far to know what room you were in. Your mum walking out looking more emotional than he’d ever seen her and once she caught sight of him she ran over to give him a big hug.

‘Is she alright? I text her a few times but she didn’t reply so I presumed she was asleep’

‘Oh Mase’ she sobbed. ‘She’s here’

‘What?… what do you mean?’

‘She was born about half an hour ago, it all happened so fast’ your mum told him but he was stuck frozen.

‘Is everything alright? Are they both fine? I got here as quick as I could I had no idea-‘

‘They’re both fine Mase’ she reassured him. Holding him but his arms in hopes he would calm down. ‘Why don’t you go in and see them. I think she was about to have a nap but she’ll be over the moon to see you’

‘Okay’ he whispered. Eyes trained on the door your mum had just emerged from and with a gentle push he was making his way over.

Mason had never been so nervous before, not even before he took his penalty earlier did he feel like this but the excitement took over and before he knew it he was pushing the door open to reveal you sat up in bed and even though you looked frightened and exhausted, your eyes were full of love and he couldn’t wait to hold you.

‘Mase’ you breathed, your bottom lip wobbling as he rushed to your side, dropping all his bags in the process so he could hug you and as soon as his arms were around you you cried your heart out. All of your emotions and hormones spilling out of you as the comfort of your best friend engulfed you and he let you cry it out fully. Pulling back as your breathing started to regulate so he could kiss your cheeks and take a good look at you. ‘I’m so sorry, they told me it would be hours-‘

‘Do not say sorry, yeah’ he whispered. Pushing the hair out of your face so he could get a better look at you and the look of pride on his face made you dizzy. ‘Are you okay? Are you in pain?’

‘Yeah, it hurt like fuck’ you laughed, wiping your eyes before he took your hands in his. "They said it would take hours and then all of a sudden I was fully dilated so I couldn't even get the epidural’ you told him and his face softened. ‘I think she was just too excited to see you and congratulate you for your hat trick’ you laughed tearily and his face crumpled a little bit. ‘You played so well Mase I’m so proud of you’

‘Are you kidding me? You just pushed a whole human out. I’m proud of you’ he told you as his eyes flickered all over your face. ‘And you’re the only woman I’ve ever known give birth in red lipstick’

‘I wanted her to know what type of woman she’s got for a mum as soon as possible’ you told him with a laugh. ’Do you wanna meet her?’ You asked quietly, knowing he’s been waiting months to finally see her and the bright smile he sent your way to you all you needed to know.

‘Please’ he whispered shyly, so you nodded him over to sit in the chair next to your bed before leaning over the other side so you could pick her out from her crib. Luckily enough she was still awake and you kept your eyes on Mason's face as you handed her over.

It was like love at first sight, his eyes filling up with tears that he tried to blink away as his lip wobbled but he was a natural when he held her. Getting her comfortable in his arms as best he could before he stroked her little face and you could tell from his ragged breathing he was overwhelmed with everything.

‘Oh y/n she’s your double’ he whispered. Tracing her features gently and your heart was racing at how he was with her.

‘Yeah, you think?’

‘Of course, she’s perfect’ he whispered, softly trailing his finger dow her nose as she looked up at him in wonder but your moment was only short lived as your midwife came back in to check on you and her eyes caught Masons immediately.

‘Ooooh a boy, what’s your name handsome?’ She giggled and you laughed at his frightened face.

‘This is my best friend, Mason’ you explained and she gave you an over exaggerated wink before directing her attention back to him.

‘Well Mason, I’m not sure if you know this but babies really benefit from a little skin to skin when they’re born.’

‘What?’ He breathed. Looking at you for help but the shrug of your shoulder let him know you weren’t about to help him.

‘It’s true, releases good hormones apparently and will help her immune system’

‘I’ve only just got here and you already want me bloody undressed’ he muttered, passing you back your little bundle of joy before undressing his top half and you felt your heart flutter a little at the sight of him. You hadn't seen him in this state for a long time and you couldn't believe how much he’d bulked out but you pushed everything down as you began to unwrap your daughter to hand over to him. Feeling yourself melt even more as he settled her back against his chest and you wrapped a blanket around them to keep them warm.

‘Hey, y/n? Have we got a name yet? I want to introduce myself properly’ he told you seriously. You’d had a name for a while but you wanted to make sure it fit her face and you wanted to discuss it with him too just in case he thought it was a bad idea.

‘I think I do, yeah. Mase this is Ginevra, Gee for short’ you told him softly. ‘I wanted to name her after my Italian great grandmother, you know the one I only met once?’

‘I remember’ he smiled ‘Hey baby Gee, it’s so nice to finally see you’ he told her looking down into her eyes that were staring right back into his. ‘We’re gonna be best friends, me and you’ he told her. Listing off all the adventures he was planning for them and you knew in that moment that it didn’t matter about Jack or anyone else, she would always have Mason.

It was the start of a beautiful friendship between the pair of them and even though being a new mother was difficult and required a lot of adapting, Mason always made sure he gave a helping hand.

You felt awful, letting him give up his free time to help you raise a baby that wasn’t even his but you could see he was in his element. His caring nature coming out in full force whenever Gee was around and you loved the way this extended to you too. Not that he hadn't always been caring but it was like he was extra gentle now.

Whenever he had a few hours free he would make sure to visit, even if it wasn’t for long but it always brightened your day to see him and it definitely brightened Gee’s. Next to you, he was becoming her favourite person.

You loved being back at home but there was something missing. A deep need inside of you to stop relying on your family and to give your daughter the life she deserved on your own. You had always tried to be as independent as you could but living off your parents and Mason was starting to take its toll.

Gee was the most special little girl in the whole world. You couldn’t believe you’d created a human so kind and funny and silly and after dreaming about your baby for so long, it was unreal to finally have her in your arms.

You had three months left of maternity leave when work checked in on you. You figured it was just for a general update but after a long talk they were offering you something you couldn’t refuse. A way out of the life you were currently in and you didn’t even think twice before saying yes.

Mason could tell there was something on your mind from the first look at you. He’d come over for a few hours after training just like usual and aside from a quick hello, you mostly sat in silence. Never one to push you though he let you sit a stew for a while as he laid with Gee on the floor. Tapping the toys hanging from the frame attached to her play mat so they dangled above her and as she laughed excitedly he would tickle her tummy to make it even worse so her giggles filled the quiet room.

He was so good with her, which made what you were about to tell him all the more difficult. Not having the courage to do it right then and there but after a little while you couldn't hold it in. Asking him to come and sit next to you on the sofa and he carefully picked up Gee so he could cradle her in his arms as you spoke and you looked on with a big smile as she playfully held his finger.

‘So the company I work for, they’re having a bit of a shuffle around and things are gonna be different when I go back’ you started but his face turned to one of anger immediately.

‘You’re not loosing your job are you? They’re not allowed to do that’ he told you seriously but you just smiled and shook your head.

‘No Mase I’m not losing my job’ you laughed. ‘I’m getting a promotion actually’

‘Oh no way, that’s amazing’ he smiled. His whole face lighting up now he knew they weren’t trying to get rid of you but now you knew the hard part was coming where you needed to explain what was actually going on.

‘Yeah they’re opening a new office and they want me to run my own department there, like it’s all getting set up for when I’m back it’s really exciting’

‘I’m so proud of you’ he smiled but he noticed the way your face had fallen and that you looked slightly nervous. ‘What’s up? You don’t look too happy about it’

‘No I am I am, it’s just, well it’s a big change’ you explained but his kind smile hadn’t faltered and you knew you were about to crush his whole world.

‘I know it is, but you can do’

‘Mase?’ You gulped. Looking down into your lap as you held the heart of the necklace he’d gifted you all these years ago. Hoping it would give you the strength you needed like it always did.

‘Yeah?’

‘It’s in Manchester’

‘What?’ He asked. Looking up to say his face contorted in confusion and even though you knew you had to explain more, a weight felt like it had been lifted.

‘The job. It’s in Manchester’

‘Oh’ he breathed. Looking slightly bewildered by everything you were saying and as he carried on speaking you knew you’d have to break it down a bit more for him. ‘That’s a pretty long commute isn’t it? A couple of hours each way at least. Can you work from home?’

‘I can work from home Mason, yes. But I also need to be in the office’ you breathed. Ready to give him the final blow and as you looked into his sweet brown eyes, you knew this would hurt him more than anything. ‘That’s why I’m moving there’

‘You’re what?’

‘I’m moving to Manchester, Mason’

You watched his face fall, eyes dropping down to Gee who was quietly laying in his arms and when he looked back up you could see his eyes were full of tears.

‘Please don’t take her away from me’ he whispered, his voice thick as his bottom lip wobbled and your heart broke for the boy sitting next to you.

‘No Masey, no I’m not taking her away from you I promise’ you told him, your own eyes burning as you tried to comfort him but you could tell he was distraught at the thought of not being close to her anymore.

‘I can’t lose you guys, I’ve lost you once and I can’t-‘

‘Mase no, come here’ you asked him. Holding your arms out for him to fall into and once he was settled comfortably you scratched over his scalp just how he liked it. ‘You won’t lose us I swear, we’ll be back all the time okay and you can come visit whenever you want. I just… I need to do this. For me’ you sighed. ‘I wanna give Gee the best life I can, okay?

‘I can do that, I’ll give you guys everything you need-‘

‘Mason, my minds made up’

‘But why’ he pouted. Knowing there was more to the story than you were giving him and the look in his eyes made you realise you had to be completely honest.

‘I can’t be here anymore Mase. Everywhere I look I see him and I just hate feeling like this. I need a fresh start’ you confessed and you watched his face drop instantly as a look of understanding washed over him.

‘Hey hey, it’s alright’ he whispered, sitting up and pulling you into his side. ‘If it's what you need to do then I’ll support you, okay? I’m not gonna sit here and act like I’m thrilled about the whole thing but whatever you need then I’m here for you’ he reassured you.

‘Thank you’

‘And you best believe I’m gonna be visiting every second I get a chance so you better get somewhere with a guest bedroom’

‘I will, I promise’ you laughed. Trying to hold back a sob but it was no use. Yes this was what you needed but it was tough on everyone and you hated upsetting Mason more than anything. ‘You knew you’re always gonna be my best friend Mason. Distance won’t change that’

‘I hope so’ he whispered tearily and you felt your heart break for the millionth time.

Tag list - @saltyheartnightmare @harvestmount @prideofpd @sid-vii @carlottawllms @footiehoemcfc @katharinanadiaa @whenelifallsinlove @neverinadream @cityzenchick @msnmnt @stikkibun @masonmtxo @chillymountsjess @yoursselo @maseymm @feelinglikeineedlotsofnaps @leclerc13

[kingofbodyrolls]

when it sinks in (m) | ksj

Life as a mermaid is wonderful, especially when your merman boyfriend, Seokjin, treats you just right. But you’re beginning to recall memories that you don’t think are yours from life on land— from a past life maybe? When you do realize that the memories are in fact your own, the world comes tumbling down around you, questioning your very existence. Are you even a real mermaid?

→ Pairing: seokjin x reader (female) → AUs: mermaid!au, fantasy!au, magical!au → Trope: established relationship → Genres: amnesia romance / fluff / smut / angst / drama / light yandere → Rating: mature/explicit/R18  (this is mature/explicit content, so minors, please do not interact.) → Word count: 13.1k → Warnings + triggers: amnesia, memories/visions, betrayal/lying, yandere behavior, controlling, identity crisis, struggling with the concept of ‘home’, drowning, merfolk mating (sex), unprotected sex; breast play, a lot of kissing, oral (male and female), sweet and tender love making, hair pulling, spitting, scratching with nails, gentle aftercare. → Author’s note(1): I finally finished another mermaid story! Only five more to go!!! I really love this universe I’ve created and I can’t wait to explore more for the other members! 💜 → Read on AO3? [link]

[s.masterlist] → this is part of a collection of series that are stand-alone one-shots, but all of them are set in the same universe. They are slightly connected though 🤭

The cool, wet embrace of the sea wraps around your skin like a silken veil, the deep, dark waters beckoning you into their mysterious depths. Your deep purple, scaly tail shimmers with an ethereal glow, catching the faintest glimmers of sunlight that dance like fleeting whispers on the ocean floor. You revel in the boundless freedom of the sea, gliding effortlessly through the currents, your spirit entwined with the rhythm of the waves. The myriad fish that weave around you are your companions, your fellow wanderers in this underwater realm that pulses with life, a world you have called home for as long as you can remember.

You have never set foot on land; the thought is as foreign as the idea of flight to a stone. Up there, beyond the shimmering surface, lies an unknown, a distant world that holds no allure for you. Down here, in the tranquil depths of the sea, you have found your sanctuary, your eternal haven, a place where time itself seems to pause and stretch into infinity.

A flash of shimmery pink darts past your vision, breaking your thoughts with a burst of playful energy. You can’t help but giggle as Seokjin, with his warm chestnut hair, shimmies away, his laughter bubbling up like pearls from the ocean floor. His presence is a light in the dark, a warm current in the cool embrace of the deep. He’s always been like that—playful, teasing, yet so undeniably yours. You catch sight of him as he attempts to find a new hiding spot, but his broad shoulders and mischievous grin give him away, and the chase is on.

Your tail flips furiously, propelling you through the water with the grace of a dancer. Fish scatter in your wake, startled by your swift movements as you close the distance between you and Seokjin. You’re playing hide and seek—believe it or not, two adult merfolk, lost in the joy of the game, the rest of the world fading into the background.

Before Seokjin reaches the cliffside, he turns to face you, his eyes sparkling with mischief. He sticks his tongue out playfully, disappearing behind the rocky surface, but when you round the corner, he’s nowhere to be found. Confusion lingers for just a moment until strong hands wrap around your torso, just below your purple seashell bra, and you’re caught in his embrace. Laughter spills from your lips as he tickles your waist, his head nestled in the crook of your neck, his breath warm against your skin. 

“I got you now, huh?” he whispers, his voice a low murmur that sends shivers down your spine. 

His face nuzzles into the curve of your neck, and the warmth of his breath caresses your skin, igniting a fire that spreads through your entire being. Goosebumps rise in a wave, your body responding to his touch with a sigh of contentment. His plush lips graze your neck, planting soft kisses that trail upward until they find your mouth. His kiss is a tantalizing dance, a slow, deliberate exploration that leaves you yearning for more.

Your eyes close as your hands intertwine, your tails curling around each other in an intimate embrace. You pull him closer, your desire for him an insatiable hunger that swells with every beat of your heart. Time seems to dissolve, the world around you blurring into a sea of blue as you lose yourself in the sensation of his kiss, the taste of him, the feel of his body pressed against yours.

When you finally part, your eyes meet, both of you breathless, pupils wide and dark with longing. Your fingers remain laced together, your hearts beating in perfect harmony, a shared rhythm that speaks of a love as deep as the ocean itself. The dance continues, your bodies swaying in the current, moving as one, the world around you forgotten, reduced to the simple, undeniable truth of your bond.

And as you kiss him again, deeper this time, your tongue exploring his, you feel yourself slipping further into the depths of his love, where you could easily lose yourself forever and be content, knowing that in this moment, in this embrace, you have found your home.

When you part once more, his smile, that worldwide handsome smile, beams like the first rays of dawn, and you feel your heart melt in response. He gently takes your hand, his fingers tracing delicate patterns on your skin before bringing it to his lips for a tender kiss. “You know I love you, right?” he whispers, his voice a soft caress that lingers in the water around you.

A soft giggle escapes your lips, the sound light as the bubbles rising to the surface, as his kiss sends a shiver of warmth through you. Your hand sparkles with the ring he gave you—a creamy, lustrous pearl that glows with the promise he made, a symbol of forever. The memory of that moment when he asked you to be his, when you said yes with every fiber of your being, floods your mind, filling you with a love that feels as deep and endless as the ocean itself.

“Hmm,” you hum, your eyes reflecting the love that fills your heart, “I love you too.”

You smile, letting the moment wrap around you like a comforting current, and the once-blurred surroundings now sharpen into focus. Tiny yellow fish dart around with playful energy, their tails wiggling like ribbons in a breeze, while obsidian ones lurk in the wet sand below, their movements slow and deliberate. Schools of silver fish glide by in perfect synchrony, their scales catching the light in a shimmering dance that weaves through the water like a living tapestry. The underwater world around you is a lush, vibrant realm of greens and blues—kelp sways gracefully in the gentle currents, tangles of sea plants flourish with life, some adorned with delicate flower buds that bloom like jewels in the ocean’s embrace. The water, dark but crystal clear, reveals hidden caves and rocky outcroppings, perfect for hide-and-seek adventures, waiting to be explored.

A sudden, gentle touch against your tail startles you, and you turn to see Jungkook behind you, his expression one of playful exasperation. “Hyung! Jimin’s missing again,” he groans, his voice carrying a note of frustration. “Sorry, ___, I didn’t mean to swim into you.” He flashes you a sheepish grin before turning his attention back to Seokjin, not batting an eye at the fact that he interrupted your mating ritual.

Seokjin rolls his eyes, a sigh escaping him like the whisper of a tide. “Last time I saw Jimin, he said he got caught in a net on a boat but managed to escape. Maybe he got caught again?”

Jungkook’s eyes widen in horror, his imagination running wild. “Shouldn’t we help him then?”

Seokjin dismisses the concern with a casual wave of his hand, his confidence unwavering. “Nah, he’s perfectly fine on his own. He’s a grown merman." He reaches for your hand once more, pulling you close, the warmth of his touch grounding you in the moment.

“If he’s gone for longer than a week, maybe we can look for him,” he adds with a playful tug, drawing you gently away from the conversation. You hear Jungkook muttering something about Jimin’s unfamiliarity with humans and the risk of being discovered, but Seokjin’s calm, easy going demeanor remains unshaken, a quiet reassurance that everything will be alright.

As you swim away together, you take in the vibrant world around you, feeling a profound sense of peace and belonging in the depths of the sea. The worries of the surface world seem distant and insignificant here, where every moment is filled with wonder and the comforting embrace of the ocean. 

You glide alongside Seokjin back to your cove, a sprawling underwater city that rises like a dream from the ocean floor. Tall, castle-like buildings with turrets and spires reach toward the surface, their walls adorned with coral and sea glass, reflecting the light in a kaleidoscope of colors. It’s a place out of a fairytale, a sanctuary where you feel truly at home. You smile and wave to your mermaid friends as they swim by, their envious glances not lost on you. Many merfolk admire your relationship with Seokjin, a merman whose heart is as kind as his looks are striking, and their gazes only bolster your confidence. 

As you weave through the swaying kelp towards the cave you call home, red crabs scuttle along the sandy bottom, and the ocean hums with life all around you. Here, in this enchanted realm beneath the waves, you find your true north, your place of peace, and your heart’s deepest joy.

Suddenly, your vision fades to black, and a cascade of unfamiliar images flashes before your eyes, like a distant memory surfacing from the depths of your mind.

You feel the grainy texture of sand between your toes—a sensation both alien and intimate. Toes, an unfamiliar part of you, sink into the soft, white sand as you sit, letting it slip through your fingers like a whisper of time. The sea’s foam caresses your feet, a delicate tickle that brings a smile to your lips as you gaze out at the endless expanse of water. It’s always been beautiful, this vast ocean, a constant in your life, and it always will be. You look back at the shore, where your friends wave and smile, their faces warm and inviting, yet somehow distant.

Then, just as suddenly, the vision dissipates, and the familiar contours of your shared cave snap back into focus. Seokjin’s worried gaze meets yours, his eyes searching your face for answers.

“Are you okay, babe?” he asks, his voice laced with concern.

You blink, disoriented, as if waking from a dream that clings to the edges of your consciousness. “Huh?” you murmur, glancing around the cave, feeling a strange, unsettling disquiet. What had you been seeing just moments before?

“Your gaze felt so empty, like your thoughts were far away,” he explains, his brow furrowing with worry. You shake your head, the images slipping from your grasp like water through your fingers, leaving only confusion in their wake.

“I don’t know what happened, but let’s just head home,” you say, squeezing his hand, seeking comfort in the familiar warmth of his touch. You lead him into the cave, the soothing embrace of your shared space grounding you as you try to shake off the lingering disorientation.

That night, cradled in his arms, you toss and turn, haunted by those enigmatic visions. Your mind conjures images that feel like echoes from another life, flickering in and out of focus like a distant star. In your dream...

You walk along a shoreline, the waves gently lapping at your bare feet, each step a curious mix of exhilaration and strangeness. The sensation of solid earth beneath you is foreign, yet thrilling, akin to the freedom of soaring through water as your feet carry you across the warm sand. The scene shifts abruptly, and you find yourself in a bustling café, the sounds around you muffled as if you were underwater, though you clearly aren’t. You sit at a table with women whose faces are familiar, echoing the earlier vision of the beach. They giggle and smile, their words a blur, and you nod along, smiling in return. Your hand curls around a glass of light brown liquid, the ice clinking softly—a scene both alien and intimately familiar.

You wake with a start, your heart pounding, the remnants of the dream still clinging to you like mist.

Where are you? What was that dream?

You remember the sensation of having feet—of walking, of being human.

“Honey, are you okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” Seokjin’s voice is soft with concern, his usual cheerfulness replaced by a frown that tugs at your heart. You force a smile to dispel his worry. “I just had a weird dream, that’s all.” 

Because that’s all it was, right? Just a strange dream.

Determined to shake off the unsettling images, you begin your day with a light breakfast, trying to push the dream from your mind. Soon after, you swim out to meet Namjoon, who has been eagerly awaiting your arrival. You had promised to join him on his latest treasure hunt, a quest for crystals, gems, or forgotten relics from the world above. He’s spoken about this adventure countless times, his excitement infectious, and you finally relented, agreeing to accompany him on one of his explorations. As you swim toward him, Namjoon greets you with a soft smile, the anticipation of the day’s quest lighting up his eyes. 

“Hi, ___! Ready for our adventure?” Namjoon’s voice bursts with excitement, his smile as radiant as a child’s on Christmas morning. His baby blue tail flicks with uncontainable energy, the scales catching the light in a playful shimmer.

“Yeah!” you exclaim, matching his enthusiasm as you adjust the crossbody bag slung over your shoulder, prepared to gather whatever treasures the ocean offers.

“Cool, let’s swim,” he says, his voice bubbling with eagerness as he takes the lead, propelling himself forward with powerful strokes. The ocean around you is calm, the water clear and inviting, and as you set off together, you can almost convince yourself that the dream was nothing more than a fleeting illusion.

You swim for what feels like ages, the cool water rushing past you, each movement a blend of grace and strength. As fatigue begins to tug at your muscles, a glimmer of blue catches your eye in the distance. Your heart leaps, anticipation coursing through your veins—finally, you’ve reached your destination. Namjoon’s excitement is almost tangible as he urges you forward, his energy sparking through the water like an electric current.

The sand beneath you is a pale beige, contrasting sharply with the vibrant blue crystals embedded in the rocky surface ahead. It’s breathtaking, a hidden gem in the vast underwater world that you call home. A few curious fish dart by, their scales catching the light as they weave through the water, but otherwise, a profound silence envelops the scene, amplifying its beauty.

“Wow, this is beautiful,” you breathe, your voice barely above a whisper as you take in the mesmerizing sight. You’ve never seen anything like it before, and the wonder of it leaves you momentarily speechless.

“It’s aquamarine,” Namjoon says, his voice filled with awe as he swims closer to the crystals, inspecting them with a reverence reserved for only the most precious discoveries.

You nod, transfixed by the shimmering blue gems. Who would have guessed that your home held such secret wonders, hidden in the depths of the ocean, waiting to be found?

“I want to collect one, just give me a moment,” Namjoon says, his tone both excited and focused as he drops his bag of tools onto the ocean floor, sending up a small cloud of sand. The bag, a cherished relic from one of his many adventures, is always with him. He carefully extracts a few tools, his movements precise and deliberate, as he begins to carve out a chunk of crystal. You watch him work, captivated by the skill and care with which he handles the gem. Once he’s collected a piece for himself, he turns to you, his expression softening as he offers you a small piece of aquamarine.

You accept the crystal, turning it over in your hand. The gem catches the light, reflecting the deep, mysterious blues of the sea. In that moment, it feels like you’re holding a piece of your world’s essence, a tangible reminder of home.

But then, as if pulled by an unseen force, your reality shifts. 

A sudden rumble of thunder jolts you, and the serene underwater scene dissolves around you. Everything sways, and you find yourself on a boat—or perhaps a yacht—gripping the railing with one hand, a glass of crimson liquid in the other. The sky above is dark and foreboding, thick clouds churning with the promise of a storm. Laughter, eerie and out of place, mingles with the sound of thunder, creating a haunting symphony that sends a shiver down your spine.

“Earth to ___!” Namjoon’s voice breaks through the vision, snapping you back to the present. He waves his hands in front of your face, concern etched across his features. Panic surges through you—these aren’t just dreams. They feel tangible, like fragments of another life bleeding into your own. A life that isn’t yours, yet feels disturbingly familiar. You’re a mermaid, never human—or at least, that’s what you’ve always believed. It’s said that mermaids can transform, but you’ve never set foot on land. These visions, these memories, feel foreign, like echoes from another existence intruding on your mind.

“I’m sorry, Namjoon. I don’t know what happened,” you stammer, your voice shaky as you try to push away the unsettling experience. He gives you a thoughtful, worried look, his brow furrowed in concern, but then he smiles gently, his fingers curling around yours as he leads you away, guiding you back towards the comfort and familiarity of home.

As you glide through the water, the aquamarine crystal clasped tightly in your hand, the mysteries of your visions swirl in your thoughts like the endless, spiraling currents of the sea. The deep blue around you pulses with a rhythm all its own, yet your mind is elsewhere, drifting through the shadows of these strange, inexplicable memories that seem to tug at the edges of your consciousness.

Back home, you find Seokjin engrossed in his work, as usual, his focus intense as he prepares materials for his students. He’s a revered teacher, imparting the ancient history of your underwater world to the young merfolk with a passion that’s impossible to ignore. You watch him with quiet admiration, knowing how much he loves sharing tales of the past—stories of how Hoseok’s ancestors founded your vast cove, battling fearsome sea creatures to carve out this sanctuary beneath the waves. Hoseok’s lineage runs deep, their legacy woven into the very fabric of your community, making him something akin to royalty in these waters. Seokjin often speaks of how your city has remained hidden from human eyes for centuries, a secret world cloaked in the ocean’s depths. Yet, in recent times, curiosity about the surface has begun to stir among the younger merfolk, despite the elders’ stern warnings about the dangers of being discovered by humans. Though Seokjin shares these stories with a sense of wonder, you’ve never felt the urge to experience life on land yourself. The sea is your home, your heart tethered to its depths.

“Did you have a good trip with Namjoon?” Seokjin asks, glancing up from the worn pages of a book adorned with ancient symbols. His smile is warm, his presence a steady anchor in the shifting tides of your thoughts.

“Yeah, he gave me a piece of aquamarine. Wanna see?” you reply, pulling the small, shimmering crystal from your bag when he nods. He takes it from you, his eyes reflecting the gemstone’s beauty as he admires it.

“It’s as beautiful as you,” he murmurs, handing it back to you with a gentle smile. You place it beside your nest on the rocky nightstand, the crystal catching the light in a way that reminds you of the first moment you saw it.

The days that follow are peaceful, your visions leaving you in a rare state of calm. You fill your time with friends, letting the little mermaids braid your hair as you embark on new adventures. One day, you swim alongside Taehyung, his curiosity and eccentricity leading you to explore the ocean’s forgotten treasures—remnants of the world above that have found their way to the seabed. The sand is littered with seashells, gold coins, tarnished utensils, waterlogged books, and ancient jewelry. Taehyung, much like Namjoon with his stones—sorry, crystals—collects these artifacts with the wide-eyed enthusiasm of a child, his love for these lost relics bringing a smile to your face as you join him in his explorations.

“Look! There’s a glass over here,” Taehyung calls out, his voice filled with the thrill of discovery. You swim over to him, your curiosity piqued, and inspect the object he holds in his hands. It’s a strange trinket, unlike anything you’ve seen before.

“Glass?” you murmur, the word feeling foreign and heavy on your tongue, as if it doesn’t quite belong in your world.

Taehyung shows you the glass—a large, round vessel with a slender stem that widens into a foot. It resembles a wine glass, and as you gaze at it, a wave of dizziness washes over you. Your vision fades to black.

When it returns, the sound of thunder fills your ears, loud and ominous. You’re no longer underwater but standing on the deck of a yacht, gripping the railing with one hand, the other clutching an almost empty wine glass. The crimson liquid sloshes with the rocking of the boat, staining the pristine glass with its rich hue. The sky above is a stormy canvas, dark and swirling, illuminated only by flashes of lightning that slice through the darkness. A blanket of rain soaks you to the bone, cold and relentless, while eerie laughter mingles with the crack of thunder, creating a symphony that sends chills down your spine.

Suddenly, a massive wave crashes against the yacht, and you lose your grip on the wine glass. It shatters on the deck, the pieces scattering like shards of a broken memory. Another wave strikes, and you’re thrown off balance. You tumble over the side of the yacht, plunging into the churning sea. The waves are merciless, slamming you against the hull, and your head collides with a sickening thud. Your body goes limp, and you begin to sink into the depths, the water filling your lungs as you struggle to breathe. Everything goes dark, the weight of the ocean pressing down on you, dragging you deeper, deeper and deeper into the abyss.

Your eyes snap open, your body trembling, cold sweat slicking your skin. Taehyung stares at you, his expression puzzled and concerned. “Are you okay?” he asks, his voice tentative, as if afraid to break the fragile silence that hangs between you.

You nod, biting your lip, though deep down, you know you’re far from okay. What you saw felt so vividly real—falling into the ocean, legs thrashing as a human. These visions must be memories, but memories of what time, what life?

As you reflect, a disturbing realization grips you: you don’t remember anything from before meeting Seokjin. There’s nothing—just a blank void where your past should be. Could these really be your memories? From a life before... before Seokjin?

A shiver runs through you, the chill of dread seeping into your bones. It doesn’t make sense, this absence of a past. Where were you born? Is ___ even your true name? Who are you, really?

These questions swirl in your mind like a storm, dark and turbulent, as unsettling as the depths you plunged into in your vision. You can feel your thoughts unraveling, each thread pulling at the fabric of your reality. Yet, Taehyung, oblivious to your inner turmoil, continues his treasure hunt with the same innocent enthusiasm. You try to hide your growing fear, but your body betrays you with tremors. Perhaps you should confide in Seokjin about these dreams—no, these memories. He’s so knowledgeable about history, about magic; maybe there’s something he can do. The thought of sharing your burden with him is both comforting and terrifying. You feel fragile, like a piece of glass teetering on the edge, a single crack away from shattering into countless, irreparable fragments.

Despite the weight pressing down on you, you help Taehyung search for more treasures, turning over every leaf of kelp, every rocky surface. He fills his bag to the brim with relics from the world above, while you swim beside him, a knot of unease tightening in your stomach. The strange feeling lingers as you reach home, and Seokjin’s eyes find yours, instantly recognizing that something is wrong.

“What’s wrong, love?” he asks, his grip on your arms firm, his gaze searching yours, desperate for an answer to the sadness clouding your features.

You let out a heavy, frustrated sigh, unable to meet his eyes.

“Didn’t you have a good time with Taehyung on your treasure hunt?” he inquires, his concern deepening when you shake your head.

“No, the treasure hunt was fine. It’s…” you begin, fumbling with the words, struggling to find a way to explain the unexplainable. But you have to try—maybe he can help. “I’ve been having these weird visions,” you pause, your voice trembling as you swim nervously from side to side, “or memories, I think.”

His expression shifts from curiosity to worry, his handsome face now eerily blank as he listens.

“What kind of memories?” he asks, his voice cautious, as if afraid of what you might say.

“Of me. As a human. With legs. Living on land,” you confess, your words tumbling out in a rush, hoping against hope that he might understand, that he might have some insight into why you’re experiencing these memories—how to make them go away before they consume you entirely. 

He says nothing, his silence a heavy weight between you, and his frown deepens, a storm gathering in his eyes. Your heart sinks, dragging your hope down with it.

“Are these my memories?” you ask, your voice small, trembling as you finally give voice to the fear that has haunted you for days. You hold your breath, waiting for his response, dreading the answer.

But he avoids your gaze, his silence more damning than any words could be. Your heart plummets, sinking into the depths of despair. Does he have something to do with this? What is he hiding from you? What truth is he keeping locked away, and why does it feel like your world is about to unravel completely?

Seokjin descends into the deep, where the ocean’s embrace is tight and unyielding, and where the light above is little more than a distant memory. He loves it here, in the silent, shadowy depths where the world feels vast and endless, yet intimately close. Today, however, his journey is not for himself. Taehyung, bedridden with the flu, has entrusted him with a mission—to find treasures, the peculiar remnants of human life that have sunken to the ocean’s floor. Usually, Taehyung would be at his side, his eyes alight with curiosity, but today, Seokjin searches alone, determined to bring back something special for his friend.

The sandy bottom stretches out beneath him, vast and barren, as he scours it for any sign of something unusual. His hands sift through the grains, but he finds nothing of interest, just the familiar whisper of the ocean around him. Then, a muffled ripple from above disrupts the stillness, and he pauses, his attention caught. He glances upward, but the water is thick, his depth too great to see the sun or the sky. The darkness is all-consuming, but there’s a strange energy in the water—a tremor, a subtle shift. 

He feels it before he sees it, the electric charge pulsing through the sea as the surface above transforms into a chaotic dance of white and yellow. Lightning forks across the sky, and thunder reverberates through the waves, a distant echo that reaches even these shadowy depths. His heart quickens as he senses a looming presence overhead—a large boat, struggling against the storm’s fury. Curiosity tugs at him, urging him closer to the surface, to that fragile boundary between his world and the one above.

But then, a sudden splash shatters the rhythm of the waves, drawing his gaze. Seokjin doesn’t need to see to know something is wrong—he feels it, deep in his core. He propels himself upward, slicing through the water with powerful strokes, and as he nears the surface, the scene unfolds before him. 

There you are—a human—falling helplessly into the ocean, bubbles streaming from your lips as you instinctively gasp for air, only to inhale the saltwater instead. Your eyes flutter shut as your head collides with the boat’s hull, and then your body begins its slow descent into the abyss, like a fragile leaf caught in the current.

For a heartbeat, Seokjin is frozen, torn between the instinct to remain hidden and the overwhelming urge to save you. But he knows he cannot let a life slip away, human or not. With a surge of determination, he rockets toward you, his tail propelling him with swift, graceful power. You’re sinking fast, but he reaches you just in time, wrapping his arms around your limp form. His heart pounds with the hope that you’re merely unconscious, that life still flickers within you.

Panic flares as he realizes the enormity of the task ahead—he’s too far from shore to bring you to safety, and the thought of being discovered by the humans above sends a chill through him. The ocean, with its relentless pull, drags you both deeper with each passing second. He knows he must act, and quickly. There’s no time to waste. Every moment is a battle against the depths that threaten to claim you.

Without hesitation, Seokjin makes his decision. He turns and swims with all his might, his powerful tail driving him forward through the dark waters. His destination is clear—the Sea Witch, the only one who might possess the power to save you. His heart races as he speeds through the ocean, praying that you can hold on just a little longer.

The dark enclave comes into view, a place shrouded in mystery and foreboding. He enters the cave, the water around him thick with an eerie glow cast by bioluminescent algae that clings to the walls. Shadows dance in the dim light, flickering like spirits, and the silence is heavy, almost oppressive. Fish dart away at his approach, sensing the urgency in his movements. 

There, in the heart of the cave, surrounded by shelves brimming with arcane artifacts and ancient relics, he finds her—the Sea Witch. Her long black curls float around her like a halo, moving with a life of their own. Her eyes, dark and unreadable, lock onto him as he approaches. Though she appears youthful, Seokjin knows that her ageless beauty is a mask, a testament to the powerful magic that courses through her veins.

“What brings you here, Seokjin?” she asks, her voice smooth and laced with knowing, as if she’s already aware of the answer. He realizes, with a start, that he’s never known her true name. But it doesn’t matter now. 

Seokjin’s grip tightens around your lifeless form, and with desperation in his eyes, he speaks.

“I need your help,” he gasps, dragging your lifeless form before her. “I found this woman sinking into the sea. I can’t get her to shore in time... Can you save her? Turn her into a mermaid and give her life?” His voice trembles with a mix of urgency and fear, a tremor that reveals the depth of his desperation. Though he doesn’t know you, the thought of your life slipping away fills him with an unnameable dread.

The Sea Witch’s eyes flicker with interest, her gaze sharp and calculating. “Such a request comes with a price,” she murmurs, her voice as soft and dark as the water that surrounds them. Her fingers move to tame her wild hair, but it’s a futile gesture amidst the swirling chaos of her lair, where shadows and light dance in an eerie ballet.

“Anything,” he pleads, his desperation mounting as he feels the fragile thread of your life fraying in his arms. “Just save her.”

The Sea Witch’s lips curve into a knowing smile. “You won’t be able to turn into a human except under the full moon,” she intones, her words echoing through the cavern like an ancient incantation. She waits, her eyes boring into him, before beginning the spell.

Without a moment’s hesitation, he nods and gently pushes you toward her, his hands trembling as he releases you. “It’s fine. Just help her, please.” The price she asks seems insignificant—he rarely ventures onto land, and what are legs compared to a life? Your life, he believes, is worth far more than the ability to walk on two feet.

The Sea Witch begins her incantation, her voice weaving through the water like a thread of silk. As the ancient words spill from her lips, your body begins to glow, the dull pallor of death replaced by a shimmer that pulses with life. Shimmers and sparkles envelop you, swirling like stars caught in a tide, as your legs begin to meld together, forming a sleek, purple tail. The transformation is breathtaking—the skin of your legs morphs into iridescent scales, each one catching the faint light and reflecting it in a myriad of colors. Your clothing shifts, dissolving into the water and reappearing as a seashell bra that perfectly matches the hue of your new tail. Suspended in the water, you look ethereal, like a creature born from the ocean’s deepest dreams.

Then, with a sudden jolt, your eyes flutter open, wide and filled with fear. Panic seizes you, and you curl into yourself, your new tail thrashing in the water as you try to make sense of the world around you. 

“Where am I?” you ask, your voice trembling, the sound echoing softly through the cavern. Your eyes dart around, wide with terror and confusion.

Seokjin moves closer, his heart aching at the sight of your distress. He takes your hand in his, the touch meant to ground you, to offer some semblance of comfort in the midst of your fear. “It’s okay, ___,” he soothes, his voice gentle, his expression warm and reassuring. He doesn’t know your real name, but he calls you by the first name that springs to mind, one that seems to fit the beauty and fragility he sees before him. “You’re safe.”

He offers you a smile, a gesture meant to calm the storm raging inside you, and begins to weave a story—a tale of separation during a treasure hunt, a simple explanation that he hopes will ease your fear. Though your eyes remain clouded with uncertainty, you slowly nod, clinging to his words as though they are a lifeline.

But as you accept his story, a pang of guilt lodges itself deep within Seokjin’s heart. He knows the truth—knows that he’s withheld it from you. Yet, seeing the terror in your eyes, he cannot bring himself to reveal everything, not now, not when you’re so fragile. Perhaps, he tells himself, you will never need to know what really happened. Perhaps, in time, this story will become your truth. And for now, all that matters is that you are alive and safe, held gently in the arms of the ocean, where your new life has just begun.

Listening to Seokjin’s tale of your transformation, how you were once human and are now a mermaid, feels like the world is crumbling beneath you. Doubt and mistrust swirl in your mind like a gathering storm, obscuring everything you thought you knew. What is real anymore? Who are you? Despite the shimmering purple tail that now defines your existence, a gnawing certainty lingers—you once walked on land, breathed the air of the earth, and had friends who must surely be missing you. But why haven’t they searched for you? How long have you been living underwater, unaware of the life you lost? The questions twist within you, each one more agonizing than the last, yet you dare not ask Seokjin, for the trust you once had in him lies shattered at your feet.

Seokjin’s expression is a canvas of regret, yet he remains silent, offering no apology, no explanation. Anger and sorrow churn within you, a tumultuous sea that threatens to drown you. He deceived you, and the visions that have haunted you are not mere dreams but fragments of your stolen past. A wave of nausea rises within you as the weight of this realization crashes down, leaving you feeling displaced, as if you don’t belong in the ocean’s depths. This isn’t your home. You are human, and your heart aches for the life that was unjustly taken from you.

You don’t want to look at him—yet you do, because it suddenly hits you that this might be the last time you ever see him. You take in every detail, committing his features to memory: the sharp angle of his jaw, the curve of his nose—slightly upturned, the beautiful hazel eyes that shimmer with a mix of love and regret. Sadness tugs at your heartstrings, but the thought of his lies and the human life he stole from you reignites your anger. Your gaze traces the sharp line of his eyebrows, the tousled chestnut hair, down to the broad shoulders that taper into a strong chest and a narrow waist, where the scales of his tail begin. The tail shimmers in shades of pink, adorned with light fins at the back, and across his torso, the waist necklace of seashells and pearls—your gift, collected during treasure hunts with your friends—now seems like a mockery. Anger and love coil within you, a tangled mess of emotions, until you can no longer bear to look at him. You simply can’t.

Determined, you grit your teeth, tension rippling through your entire being. Seokjin reaches out, but you back away, your voice sharp and broken as you command, “Don’t follow me!” With that, you turn and swim away, heart pounding, the weight of his betrayal pressing heavily on your chest.

Desperate for answers, you head toward the Sea Witch—the one who played a role in your transformation. Her cave looms ahead, dark and foreboding, the water turning icy as you approach. She lounges on a rocky surface draped with plush kelp, her eyes cold and knowing as they settle on you.

“How can I help you, darling?” she asks, her voice smooth, her gaze piercing through your resolve.

“I want to turn back into my human form,” you declare, your voice steady, though your heart quivers. The Sea Witch nods, no questions asked, as she begins muttering an incantation. Her words wrap around you like a spellbinding current. She tells you that once you reach the shore, you will revert to your human self, but warns that contact with seawater will not return you to a mermaid, as you were not born of the sea. You accept this truth, ready to leave behind the deception that has kept you bound to the ocean.

With a newfound resolve, you swim toward the shore, the water parting before you as if understanding your need to escape. The ocean, once a place of wonder and discovery, now feels like a prison of lies. You are determined to find the truth, to reclaim the life you were meant to live, to breathe the air of the world you were born into. As the sunlight pierces the water’s surface, you push forward, breaking free from the ocean’s hold, ready to embrace your humanity once more.

With a splash, you break through the surface of the water, swimming toward the shore that shimmers on the horizon like a distant dream. You hope no one sees you, a fleeting shadow in the moonlit waves. The beach lies silent, empty, and welcoming as you drag yourself onto the sand, away from the saltwater’s embrace. A few heartbeats later, your scaly tail vanishes, replaced by human legs. You look down in wonder, wiggling your toes, the sensation oddly strange and yet familiar, as though awakening from a long-forgotten dream. A smile spreads across your face as the moon casts its silver light upon the water, a witness to your transformation. 

Suddenly, the reality of your nudity dawns on you, and you glance around for something to cover yourself. Fortune favors you as your eyes catch sight of an abandoned towel, half-buried in the sand, which you quickly wrap around your body like a cloak of newfound modesty.

The grains of sand beneath your toes feel comforting, grounding you in a world that once seemed so far away. You take a few tentative steps, the motion awkward at first but gradually becoming more fluid, as though your muscles remember what your mind had forgotten. As you gaze over the shore, memories flood back in a rush: the thrill of sailing with friends under perfect skies, the sudden fury of a storm, the terror of falling into the sea. Faces of loved ones flash before you—your friends, the loss of your parents when you were still so young, the aching loneliness of being an only child. Your heart sinks under the weight of these memories, leaving you hollow, a stranger in a world you once called home. Do your friends even remember you? How much time has slipped away in your absence?

Your feet, as if guided by some hidden instinct, carry you along what you assume is a familiar path to one of your friends’ places. The city at night envelops you in its quiet hum, and though you’re wrapped only in a towel, you push on, ignoring the leering glances of drunk passersby who whistle as you hurry past. Your heart pounds in your chest, a drumbeat of nerves and determination, until at last, you find yourself standing before a tall apartment building that tugs at the strings of your memory. You walk inside, the glass doors parting like a portal to your past, and head straight to the elevator. For a moment, you hesitate, your hand hovering over the buttons as doubt creeps in. But then, almost of its own accord, your hand presses the number seven. The doors close, sealing you in, and the elevator ascends, carrying you toward the unknown.

When the doors open, you step into the dimly lit hall, each step echoing in the stillness as you approach a door that feels like the right one. You raise your hand to knock, aware that it’s the middle of the night and you might be waking someone who believes you are long gone.

A few soft knocks, and the door creaks open to reveal a tired, sleepy face, one that instantly brings a rush of warmth to your heart—it’s Soohee, your brain whispers.

“___?” she breathes, disbelief thick in her voice.

Your name— you remember it now, and it strikes you as a beautiful twist of fate that Seokjin, without knowing, bestowed upon you your true human name.

“What are you doing here? How are you alive?” she asks, her eyes wide with shock as the door remains slightly ajar, her mind struggling to reconcile your presence with the reality she knows. You just smile, the kind of smile that holds the weight of untold stories, and nod.

“You’ve been gone for two years,” she continues, her voice breaking as she reaches for you, pulling you into a tight embrace. “This is unbelievable. I thought you were dead. I missed you so much.”

You cling to her, the warmth of her arms anchoring you to this world, to the life you were meant to live. The ocean’s secrets may linger, but here, in this moment, you are home.

You let her envelop you in a hug, her familiar scent triggering a flood of memories that rush back with bittersweet clarity. “Come in,” she whispers, her voice tinged with relief, as she gently guides you inside and closes the door behind you, sealing the outside world away. Without a word about your strange attire, she hands you some of her clothes, the softness of the fabric a small comfort, and gently nudges you toward the bathroom to change. Emerging in a baggy shirt and pajama pants that hang loosely on your frame, you find the couch already made up for you, the blankets tucked in as if to cradle your weary body. Sleep should come easily, but it evades you, slipping through your grasp as your mind races, caught between the tangled threads of your human past and mermaid present. Memories of Seokjin and your life beneath the waves tug at your heart, while the bitter aftertaste of his deception lingers like a shadow. Rest remains an elusive dream.

Morning arrives with the pale light of dawn, revealing the dark circles beneath your eyes, evidence of the sleepless night you’ve endured. Soohee hands you a cup of coffee, her concern evident in the way her eyes search yours for answers you’re not yet ready to give. You sit together in the quiet morning, the warmth of the cup a small solace in your hands, as she begins to recount that fateful night. She explains how they didn’t notice you fall over the railing, their laughter and drunken fun drowning out any sound of your descent. Her hands fidget with the hem of her shirt as she speaks, her voice heavy with regret. They searched for you the next day, she says, but the sea offered no clues, and they eventually assumed you had drowned.

Her words fall like stones into the pit of your stomach, offering no comfort, only deepening the ache that has settled there. The knowledge that your friends didn’t do more, that they gave up so easily, weighs heavily on you, pulling you further into the depths of despair. The fragility of your friendship, how quickly they assumed the worst and moved on, leaves you feeling more isolated than ever, a stranger in the life you once knew.

You don’t tell Soohee the full story, offering only that you remember little and somehow washed up on shore. The truth of your mermaid life feels like a fragile thread, too delicate to share, a secret woven into the very fabric of your being that isn’t yours alone to unravel.

An invisible wall stands between you, a tension that hums in the air, hard to define but impossible to ignore. Despite the discomfort, you follow Soohee to a café to meet the rest of your friends. Everything feels slightly off, as if you’re playing a part in a play whose lines you’ve forgotten. There’s an emptiness that lingers in every smile, a sense of unfulfillment that shadows every conversation.

Days turn into weeks, and you find yourself making a temporary home in Soohee’s apartment. Most days, you’re left alone with your thoughts while she’s at work, the silence pressing in on you, heavy and suffocating. Memories of life beneath the ocean rise unbidden, surprising you with their vividness and intensity. You find yourself longing for the rhythm of the sea, the simplicity of underwater existence. And most of all, you miss Seokjin.

You wonder if he misses you too. If he had apologized, would you have fled so quickly? Maybe. The betrayal had felt like a tidal wave, overwhelming and inescapable. But now, in the calm that follows the storm, those feelings have receded, leaving behind a deep, persistent sadness. You realize, with a pang, that you might have overreacted. Seokjin had saved your life, after all. In your anger, you hadn’t allowed yourself to acknowledge that fact.

A sigh escapes your lips as you sit alone in the stillness of the apartment, the quiet wrapping around you like a heavy cloak. Your thoughts are a whirlpool, pulling you deeper into longing and regret. If only you could see him again, to tell him you’re sorry, to let him know how grateful you are. He saved you, pulled you from the brink of death, and in your anger, you hadn’t allowed him to explain, hadn’t given him the chance to speak. 

You miss the comfort of his presence, the reassurance in his eyes that could calm even the fiercest storm. With each passing day, the longing to return to the sea, to him, grows stronger, an ache that gnaws at your very soul. The human world, once your home, now feels foreign and hollow, lacking the vibrancy and depth of the ocean’s embrace.

It saddens you deeply to know you can’t simply walk into the sea and transform back into a mermaid, to leave behind the confusion and reclaim the life that felt more real than anything on land. Life here isn’t what you remember; perhaps it’s because you’ve tasted something far richer beneath the waves. The underwater world was more than just a place—it was a tapestry woven with love, adventure, and the sense of belonging you had never known before. There, you had a family, friends who were like kin. Here, among old acquaintances, you feel like an imposter, a shadow of the person you once were. The friendships you once cherished now seem distant and strained, as if you’re playing a role in a story that no longer fits.

Confined mostly to the apartment, the walls closing in on you, you decide one warm summer day to seek solace at the beach, hoping the sea might offer some answers. The sun blazes in the azure sky, and the water sparkles like a thousand tiny diamonds, beckoning you. As you settle into the warm sand, tears prick at your eyes, blurring the horizon. Your thoughts drift like the tide, pulled between the world above and the world below.

Who are you, truly? A human by birth, yet your heart beats for the sea. You long to breathe its salty depths, to feel the cool caress of the water as you swim alongside Seokjin, to embark on treasure hunts with your oceanic friends. You miss them with an intensity that surprises you, a longing that feels more profound than anything you’ve ever known. The question of your true identity—human or mermaid—plagues you, an endless loop of uncertainty. Can you ever return to the life you’ve lost? The fear that you might never know gnaws at you, an unspoken dread that settles in your chest.

Existential questions swirl in your mind, a tempest of doubt and longing that refuses to quiet. The ache in your head intensifies, a physical manifestation of the turmoil within, the push and pull of two worlds tearing at you.

You sigh, tracing whimsical patterns in the sand with your fingertips, the soft grains a fleeting distraction from the storm inside. Memories of Seokjin flood your mind—his warmth, his kindness, the way his laughter wrapped around you like a comforting embrace. You recall the moment you fell in love with him, the spark that ignited when your eyes first met, a connection that felt ancient and unbreakable. Even when your own name was a mystery, when you were adrift in the haze of lost memories, Seokjin was your anchor, a beacon of safety and love. Now, that connection is a gaping void in your heart, an emptiness that no human life can fill.

Perhaps it was destiny that led you to fall into the sea that night, a twist of fate that drew you to the world where you truly belonged. Maybe you were always meant to be a mermaid, to be with Seokjin. The thought brings a fleeting comfort, like a whisper on the wind, before dissolving into another sigh. The questions remain, offering no solace, only more uncertainty. 

Resolutely, you rise, brushing the sand from your hands, the sun’s warmth a faint echo of the warmth you crave. You head back to the apartment, each step heavy with the weight of indecision. As you step inside, the familiar pang of emptiness hits you—it doesn’t feel like home. It never will. Seokjin was your home, and without him, you’re adrift, caught between two worlds and belonging to neither.

Soohee, determined to lift the shadows from your heart, insists on pulling you from the apartment where you’ve been brooding for what feels like an eternity. Reluctantly, you find yourself at your usual café, bathed in the silver glow of a full moon that hangs heavy in the night sky. Your friends chatter and laugh, their joy a distant melody, muffled as if trapped behind a glass wall that you can’t seem to break through. You sip your iced coffee mechanically, the cold seeping through the cup but not reaching the numbness that has settled in your soul.

Your gaze drifts out the window, unfocused, lost in a world of longing that only you can see. The sea calls to you, its siren song winding through your thoughts like a ribbon of silver and salt. The ache in your chest is almost unbearable—the yearning for the water, for the life you abandoned, for Seokjin, pulls at you with a force that’s impossible to ignore.

Suddenly, the lively chatter at your table falters, falling into an unexpected hush, but you remain adrift in your thoughts, lost in the waves of your mind. The voices around you blur into the background, until one breaks through, familiar and stirring, sending a shiver down your spine. That voice—smooth, warm, and unmistakably his—pulls you from your reverie.

You turn, and there he stands, Seokjin, his smile as bright and soft as the moonlight. He has legs now, and though he looks good like this, your heart aches for the mermaid form you fell in love with beneath the waves.

“Hi, babe,” he breathes, his voice thick with longing and the weight of everything left unsaid. Your heart swells at the sight of him, and you can feel the warmth of a blush creeping into your cheeks. “Hi, Jinnie,” you reply, your voice barely above a whisper, but laced with all the affection you’ve kept locked away.

Your friends exchange puzzled glances, sensing the shift in the atmosphere, the air thick with something extraordinary and inexplicable. You offer them a quick explanation, telling them that Seokjin is your boyfriend, though the truth is far more complex than any simple label could capture. Ignoring their confusion, you rise from your seat, your heart pounding as you cross the room to Seokjin, wrapping him in a tight embrace. The moment your head nestles into the crook of his neck, a profound sense of home washes over you, as if the pieces of your heart are finally falling back into place.

“I’m so sorry,” he murmurs, his hands gentle as they hold yours, his fingers tracing soothing circles on your skin, trying to mend the fractures he fears he’s caused.

“It’s okay,” you assure him, though your voice trembles with emotion. “Do you want to go back to my place and talk?” The words hang between you, fragile and full of hope.

When he nods, the relief that floods through you is overwhelming. You say goodbye to your friends with a wave, their bewildered faces fading into the background as you step out into the night, hand in hand with Seokjin, heading back to the apartment you share with Soohee.

The streets are quiet, the full moon casting a soft glow on the path before you. Seokjin’s hand steadies you, anchoring you as you walk through the dimly lit streets, each step bringing you closer to the conversation that will decide your fate. You don’t speak, save your words for when you can give him your full attention, when the night and the moon are the only witnesses to your truths.

It takes only five minutes to reach the apartment building, but each second feels both fleeting and eternal. Inside, the familiar ding of the elevator announces its arrival, and as the doors close around you, your eyes meet his, the silence between you pregnant with unspoken emotions. In that shared look, regret and longing intertwine, a silent apology passes between you.

As the elevator dings again, signaling your arrival on the seventh floor, you offer him a soft smile, your heart heavy with what’s to come. Leading him to the door, you unlock it, and as you step inside, you know that whatever happens next, this moment—this reunion—will be etched into your soul forever.

Both of you step inside, the weight of unspoken words thick in the air. Without exchanging a glance, you move to the kitchen, your movements slow, deliberate. You pour cold water into glasses, the sound of liquid filling the silence that stretches between you. Placing the glasses on the table, you join Seokjin on the couch. His eyes follow you, brimming with emotions that mirror your own—uncertainty, regret, and a longing for the connection that feels so fragile now. 

For a few moments, you’re both adrift in the quiet, your mind scrambling to find the right words, the perfect way to express your remorse. But before you can speak, Seokjin breaks the silence with a sigh, his breath shaky, followed by a soft, almost self-deprecating chuckle. “I’m so sorry, babe,” he murmurs, his voice tinged with sorrow.

A lump forms in your throat, and you nod, biting your lip as you fight back the tears threatening to spill. His eyes, usually so bright and full of warmth, now shimmer with regret. “I should have told you the truth,” he continues, his voice thick with emotion. “About your accident, about the fact that you were human... I never wanted to hurt you. I’m so, so sorry.”

His words cut through the tension, making your heart clench painfully. Instinctively, your hands reach out for his, seeking the reassurance and love that have always been your anchor. “I forgive you, Seokjin,” you breathe, your voice soft but steady, a tentative smile touching your lips as you rub gentle circles into his hands. “But I need to apologize too. I overreacted when I found out, and I’m sorry for that. I know you didn’t lie, but you did keep things from me. It was wrong, but… I understand why you did it.” You pause, truly grasping the weight of his decisions. “If I were in your position, I don’t know if I would have told everything right away either. I still wish you’d told me sooner,” you add with a dramatic sigh, a hint of playfulness creeping into your tone, “but it’s okay. I just want to move past this. I’ve missed you so much.”

Seokjin squeezes your hands, the gesture full of warmth and relief, bringing a genuine smile to your face. “I’m glad to hear that,” he exhales, as if he’s been holding his breath for an eternity. “I’ve missed you too. That’s why I came back. I needed to tell you that.”

He begins to rise from the couch, and a flicker of confusion crosses your face as you feel the emptiness left by his absence. “What are you doing?” you ask, your voice tinged with worry as you reach out for him, not ready to let go.

“I was going to leave,” he says softly, noticing the sadness clouding your eyes. “I’ve said what I needed to.”

“I don’t want you to leave,” you plead, your hand grasping his as if anchoring him in place. “I have more to say. Please, sit down.” He hesitates for a moment, then nods, settling back onto the couch, his gaze fixed on you, waiting.

“I also wanted to thank you,” you continue, your voice trembling slightly as you shift closer to him, your thigh brushing against his. “Thank you for saving me… for loving me. I miss you, Seokjin. I miss my friends, I miss being a mermaid, and I’m afraid I’ve messed everything up. I don’t feel like I belong on land. Everything feels wrong here.”

Tears well up in your eyes, the weight of your emotions finally too much to hold back. Seokjin notices immediately, his fingers tenderly brushing away the tears before they can fall. “It’s okay, love,” he whispers, his voice soothing, filled with the warmth you’ve missed so desperately.

His hand travels to the nape of your neck, gently pulling you into him, your face finding solace in the familiar crook of his neck. You close your eyes, inhaling the comforting scent of him, a mix of saltwater and something uniquely Seokjin. As you rest there, your heart begins to mend, the broken pieces slowly coming together in the safety of his embrace.

He pulls you away gently, just enough to gaze into your eyes. His brown irises shimmer with a depth of emotion, like pearls nestled in the heart of a clam, radiating a love so pure it sends a warm twinge through your entire body. He leans in, and his lips find yours, tentative at first, a delicate reunion after what feels like an eternity apart. The kiss, soft and tender, soon deepens, growing fiery and urgent as his tongue teases for entrance, a silent plea that you eagerly grant.

His hand stays firm at the nape of your neck, keeping you anchored to him, while his fingers weave into your hair, tugging gently. The sensation pulls a needy, strangled sound from your throat—a sound that might have embarrassed you if you weren’t so utterly consumed by the desire coursing through your veins. You’ve missed him desperately, and you want him just as fiercely—want him in this way, as humans, experiencing something entirely new for the both of you. It’s a new experience for both of you. Though you’ve had your share of intimate moments before becoming a mermaid, and Seokjin has spent ample time on land, you’ve never been together like this. The thought sends your heart racing, your body warming with anticipation.

You kiss him again, your hands flying to his face, cupping his cheeks as you sigh into his mouth, savoring the closeness. When you finally pull apart, both of you are panting for breath. “I want you, Jinnie,” you whisper, your voice trembling with a mix of urgency and longing. Your fingers tug at the fabric of his shirt, your need palpable. “I want you like this, before you leave.”

There’s a desperation in your plea, a fear that this moment might slip away too quickly, leaving you aching with the uncertainty of when you might see him again. You sense his desire too, but the unspoken questions about the complexities of a human and merman relationship hover at the edge of your mind. Still, you push them aside, focusing on the one truth that matters now—you want him, here and now.

He opens his mouth to speak, but you silence him with another kiss, this one fervent, consuming. Whatever words he might have had are lost in the heat of the moment. Your hands move with a newfound urgency, pulling off his shirt in a swift motion. As it drops to the floor, you take a moment to drink in the sight of him, his chest strong and defined, reminiscent of his merman form, with broad shoulders that taper to a lean, narrow waist.

Your hands drift lower, unzipping his pants with a quick, determined motion. The bulge in his black boxers is unmistakable, and you stroke him through the fabric, drawing out needy sounds from deep within him that only spur your desire further. You lick your lips in anticipation, wondering what his dick looks like— if he’s thick, long? How he’ll feel, how he’ll fit.

Slipping your hands under the waistband, you grasp his cock, feeling it throb eagerly in your hand. A thrill runs through you at the sensation, the heat and the pulse of him. “Sit up so I can take these off you,” you murmur, your voice thick with desire as you tease the waistband. He complies without hesitation, lifting his hips to help you slide the garment off. His cock springs free, slapping against his stomach, and your eyes widen in awe. He’s long, longer than anyone you’ve been with before, the reddened tip glistening with precum that makes your mouth water in anticipation.

You can’t wait to taste him, to feel him, to make this moment last as long as possible.

Your fingers wrap around his dick, feeling his heat, and the sound that escapes his lips—a desperate, trembling whine—sends a shiver of thrill through your entire being. That sound, so raw and vulnerable, makes you crave more, and you can’t help but tease him, pumping his cock slowly, savoring every reaction. His eyes flutter shut, his head tilting back as he succumbs to the pleasure you’re giving him, lost in the sensation.

Leaning in close, your breath hot against his flushed skin, you flick your tongue out, tasting the salty sweetness at the tip. His gasp is sharp, his hips bucking instinctively, and you revel in the power you hold in this moment. Each sound he makes is a symphony, a melody only the two of you can hear, each movement a testament to the electric connection that binds you together.

“Please,” he pants, his voice ragged and needy, “please give me more.”

The plea in his voice ignites a fire in you, and with a sultry glance, you let a bead of spit fall onto his cock, watching it glisten before lowering your mouth to take him in. You start slowly, your tongue tracing the intricate lines and ridges, teasing the sensitive head with gentle flicks. The salty bead of precum bursts on your tongue, fueling the desire burning in your core.

With deliberate slowness, you slide down, taking more of him into your mouth, knowing you can’t take all of him, but determined to give him as much as you can. Your hand wraps around the base, stroking in rhythm with the movement of your lips, your tongue swirling around him in a dance of pleasure. His moans fill the room, a chorus of need and desire, as you work him with practiced skill, sucking on him like a lollipop, hollowing your cheeks to create the perfect suction.

His hands cradle your cheeks, his touch gentle but insistent, and with a loud, wet pop, he pulls you off. His eyes, dark with lust, gaze down at you, his chest heaving. “You look so gorgeous like this,” he breathes, voice thick with longing, “but I really want to know how it feels to be inside you.”

A slow smile spreads across your face, matching the eagerness in his eyes. Together, you strip away the remaining barriers between you, clothes discarded in a careless heap on the floor. The air between you hums with anticipation, every touch, every glance charged with the hunger you both feel. He surprises you by gently pushing you down onto the couch, spreading your legs wide as he drinks in the sight of your glistening folds.

“You’re so beautiful,” he murmurs, his eyes lingering on you with adoration. “Let me taste you?”

Your breath catches in your throat as you nod, giving him permission. He wastes no time, his mouth descending on you with a hunger that makes your toes curl. His tongue moves with a skilled, silky precision, lapping at your folds, teasing your clit with just the right pressure. You moan his name, your fingers tangling in his chestnut hair, urging him to go deeper, to give you more.

His mouth is relentless, worshiping your body with every stroke, every lick, his own sounds of pleasure vibrating against your sensitive flesh. The sensations he’s creating make your body arch off the couch, your back bowing as the pleasure builds, spiraling higher and higher until it’s almost too much to bear.

His fingers find your nipples, pinching and rolling them in time with the rhythm of his tongue, sending jolts of pleasure straight to your core. And then, it happens—your body tenses, fingers clenching hard in his hair as you push yourself onto his face, your orgasm crashing over you in waves. You ride the sensation, lost in the euphoria of release, your breath coming in short, sharp gasps as you come undone on his tongue.

He gazes up at you with boundless love, his eyes soft as he gives a few final, lingering licks, savoring every drop of you. When he finally moves up to kiss you, it’s deep and passionate, his body fitting perfectly between your legs. You can feel his hand, steady and sure, as he guides his throbbing cock, stroking it briefly before aligning it with your entrance. The anticipation makes your heart race, your body quivering with need as you wait for him to claim you, to make you his in every way.

“Are you ready?” he murmurs, his voice a low, teasing hum as he brushes the tip of his cock against your slick folds.

“God, yes,” you breathe, your words barely a whisper as your body aches with need, your pussy practically pleading to be filled. The anticipation coils tight within you, every nerve alight with longing.

With a deliberate slowness, he begins to push into you, his dick stretching you inch by inch. The sensation is exquisite, a blend of pleasure and sweet ache that leaves you gasping. When he finally bottoms out, buried deep inside, it’s as if he touches the very core of you, the stars bursting behind your eyelids.

“Move, please,” you grunt, the word coming out thick with desperation. You need more of him, all of him.

He responds to your plea, his hips beginning to roll with a steady rhythm, each thrust sending ripples of pleasure through your body. The sound of his hips meeting yours fills the room, a steady beat that matches the pounding of your heart. You shift, hoisting your legs higher, draping them over his broad shoulders. The new angle has him sinking even deeper into you, hitting that spot that makes your breath hitch and your toes curl. The way he kisses your cervix is nothing short of divine, a sensation that borders on the sublime.

He pants your name, the sound rich with need, his hands framing your face as his brows knit together in a beautiful display of focus and desire. He dips down, capturing your lips in a searing kiss, and you groan into his mouth, feeling the intensity of his love and the depth of your connection in every movement.

When he rises again, his hands find your thighs, gripping them as he picks up speed, each thrust more insistent, more desperate, as he chases the edge. You feel your own climax building, the tension winding tight in your belly, and your hand drifts down between your legs, finding your clit and rubbing in time with his thrusts. Your breaths come faster, matching the rhythm of his, and as your pussy begins to pulse around him, the pleasure crests, sweeping through you like a tidal wave. You cry out his name, nails digging into his biceps as you ride the peak, your body trembling with the force of your release.

“Fuck,” he pants, his voice hoarse with pleasure, “I’m close… I’m gonna come.”

“Do it,” you beg, your voice ragged with need. “Come inside me, fill me up, please.”

With a stuttering groan, he releases, his warmth spilling into you as his body shudders with the force of his orgasm. His hair sticks to his damp forehead, his skin glistening with sweat, but he leans down to kiss you, his lips tender and sweet. You welcome the salty taste of him, the heat of his body, wanting to hold onto every bit of him, to memorize this moment.

After a few heartbeats, he gently pulls out of you, the loss of his presence making you feel momentarily hollow. He disappears into the bathroom, returning with a soft towel. His touch is careful and loving as he cleans you, the warmth of the cloth a gentle caress against your sensitive skin. The sweetness of his care, the way he looks at you with such tenderness, makes your heart ache, and a lump forms in your throat.

A few tears slip free, unbidden, and Seokjin pauses, his eyes filled with concern. “What’s wrong?” he asks softly.

You sniffle, trying to blink away the tears, but they keep coming. “I just… I miss you so much. This was incredible, but I don’t want you to go. I want to be with you every day. I wish I could be with you every day.”

The words break something loose inside you, and soon you’re crying in earnest, the sobs shaking your chest. Now you’re full-on crying. What a mess—crying after sex. You hope he doesn’t think he did anything wrong, because he truly didn’t.

“Hey,” he murmurs softly, pulling you close, your bodies still bare yet wrapped in the warmth of each other’s presence. The cool night air brushes against your skin, but it’s his touch that sends a shiver down your spine. His hand finds your chin, lifting it gently so your eyes meet his. The uncertainty of when you’ll see him next weighs heavy, your lips trembling with unspoken fears. But his gaze, soft and filled with love, reassures you. 

“I wanted to tell you before,” he begins, his voice a tender caress, “you can become a mermaid again if you want. I just didn’t want to assume you’d want that.” His fingers trace your bottom lip, the touch like the brush of a feather, sending ripples of longing through you.

Become a mermaid again? 

The words ignite a spark of hope in your chest, warming you from the inside out.

“Really?” you whisper, your eyes glimmering with tears of joy and love, the possibility almost too beautiful to grasp.

“Yeah,” he nods, his own eyes bright with promise. “We just need to talk to the Sea Witch.”

“Can we go now?” you ask, your heart soaring like a gull over the waves.

He laughs softly, the sound a balm to your anxious heart. “Sure. But shouldn’t you say goodbye to your friends?”

You shake your head, the decision firm and resolute. “I’ll just leave them a note.” You know it’s not the most gracious farewell, but you feel no guilt. They searched for you for barely a day when you went overboard, their concern fleeting, unlike the depth of love you feel for Seokjin. 

Quickly, you dress, the mundane task filled with a sense of urgency, as if the moment might slip away if you don’t act fast. You find a piece of paper and scribble a brief note to Soohee, thanking her for her kindness and hospitality but explaining that you’re leaving to be with your boyfriend. You don’t mention anything about mermaids or the world beneath the sea; some things are too precious to share.

Hand in hand, you walk with Seokjin down to the beach, your heart beating vividly in your chest, each step a drumbeat of anticipation. Under the silvery light of the moon, you share a tender kiss, the world narrowing to just the two of you as you step into the water. The transformation is swift and mesmerizing—his legs give way to a stunning pink tail, shimmering like precious gemstones in the night.

You swim together, cutting through the water like you were born to it. Out in the open sea, far from the shore, he kisses you deeply, his lips salt-kissed and full of promise. “I’ll swim down and talk with the Sea Witch,” he whispers against your lips. “I’ll come back and tell you everything, okay?”

Time seems to stand still as you wait, the waves lapping gently around you, but it doesn’t feel long before his head breaks the surface again, a smile lighting up his face. 

“She said she can turn you back permanently if you want to,” he says, the words like music to your ears, “but the catch is you’ll never be able to revert to your human form again.”

You see a flicker of concern in his eyes, but for you, it’s a small price to pay. Your human life feels distant, like a dream you’ve already forgotten. The call of the sea, the promise of the life you once knew, is too strong to resist. With a resolute nod, you kiss him, the decision clear in your heart. “Please, tell her it’s fine. I just want to be a mermaid again.”

He nods, diving back into the depths, and moments later, the transformation begins. Your legs fuse together, your skin tingles as it turns to scales, and the familiar purple tail forms, glimmering under the water. Your clothes morph into a delicate seashell bra, and you swirl around, reveling in the change. With a burst of speed, you dive deep, almost colliding with Seokjin. You both burst into laughter, the sound bubbling up like joy itself.

“Hey, pretty,” he says, cupping your face and kissing you, his touch as tender as the first time.

“Hey, handsome,” you reply, the love swelling within you, making you feel lighter than the water around you.

You kiss him again, a kiss full of joy, relief, and the overwhelming sense of being exactly where you’re meant to be. The sea, with its ancient structures, hidden caves, and vibrant marine life, feels like home once more. Seokjin holds you close, your tails entwining in an intimate embrace as you swim together, fingers lacing, bodies moving in perfect harmony. 

In this underwater world, where the boundaries of the physical fade into the ethereal, your love transcends the ordinary, becoming something larger than life. Your heart floats, carried by the sea’s gentle current, pulling you ever closer to Seokjin. You open your eyes, meeting his hazel gaze, and in his smile, you see your entire world.

As you swirl around each other, the vibrant marine life fades into the background. Fish, other merfolk, dolphins, and whales pass by, their beauty paling in comparison to the magic of Seokjin’s embrace.

“I love you so much, Seokjin,” you whisper, your hands moving to rest over his bare chest, feeling the strong, steady beat of his heart beneath your palm.

“I love you so much too, babe,” he replies, his voice filled with emotion as he places his hand over your heart. With his other hand, he reveals a golden band with a shining pearl, its surface iridescent and familiar in the dim light. “Will you be mine forever?” he asks, his tone both tender and hopeful.

You smile, charmed by his romantic gesture. It’s the second time he’s proposed, understanding you lost the ring when you became human. The effort he put into finding it and presenting it to you again makes your heart swell with love.

“Of course,” you say, your voice filled with certainty. “I’ll be yours forever, and you’ll be mine.”

In that moment, you realize you need nothing else. With Seokjin by your side, true friends under the sea, and a supportive family, life is beautiful. You couldn’t ask for more. As you float in the embrace of the ocean, the vastness of the sea reflecting the endlessness of your love, you know you are home.

→ Taglist: @allie-is-a-panda @suker4angst → Disclaimer: the banner is obviously partly made with AI— I just want to point that out, to clear the air. I’d normally never use AI in my work, but for this specific fantasy series, I just came up really sort with making them myself with pre existing images of bangtan 😭 Because I want a certain aesthetic (no, a moodboard is not what I was looking for), I decided to use AI to crunch out the merman— I did not, and I repeat this, I did not write any of their names for the prompts, which is also why I do not want to show any faces in these banners, because I know how the guys feel about making AI with them, and I agree. Which is why, this is in short just generically made images that are prompted by a scene in the story. In the end, I still made the banner— did retouching, color grading, added and/or removed stuff, added background etc. Just to let you know. Normally, all my banners and graphics are made by me, unless otherwise stated! (lol, what I mean here is that I’m making them myself, I still sometimes use stock photos and vectors made by others in my work (the banners)). → Author’s note(2): I feel so shitty with my writing (not that I think it’s bad, it’s just ‘meh’). I wrote this weeks ago, but I’m only publishing it now… I’m feeling very unmotivated, so this whole mermaid series might take some time to get finished, but I’ll try my best to finish them all 🥹 what do you think? Excited for the rest of the members’ stories? 💜

© @/kingofbodyrolls 2024 // Please don’t copy or repost! You are more than welcome to reblog it, leave a comment or ask me anything about the story 🥰

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Fluffy Smut (7) Masterlist

part one, part two, part three, part four, part five, part six

After the birthday stream (ao3) - trashcanfromgallifrey

Summary: The events that may have occured after Dan's birthday charity stream;) Starts of with fluff but ends up in a steamy hot shower

all I want to do is all of it with you (ao3) - jonsaremembers

Summary: Dan and Phil are going to stay late at the rehearsal venue to...film. Yeah.

As He Comes, So I Come (ao3) - cloej88

Summary: Dan and Phil have just returned from Chicago, where they finally sorted themselves out. They’ve slept a full ten hours under their own roof, and now they have an uninterrupted afternoon to rediscover one another’s bodies.

Buffy Movie Nights are Life Changing (ao3) - angelicsam

Summary: Things get steamy between Dan and Phil during their nighttime Buffy streaming session in 2010; featuring a confident yet bashful Phil and a shy Dan who learns how to drive Phil crazy.

Burning Bibles (ao3) - cherryheartz

Summary: phil lester loved curly headed boys with tattoos on their arms and a joint made with torn bible pages between their soft lips.

and dan howell was exactly that.

Dan and Phil Take Each Other's Clothes Off (NOT CLICKBAIT!!!) (ao3) - BREAD2000yeet

Summary: Dan and Phil play dress-up based off Dan's one dailybooth

Dan stops and stares at him, “You did not just tell me a red panda fact while we are having sex.”

“They can also glow in the dark.”

Despite everything it's still you (ao3) - Frog910

Summary: Dan's just got home from tour, they've missed each other

Dick pancakes and other declarations of love (ao3) - Scuddleduck

Summary: a series of vignettes as I imagine them on Valentine's day

disco stick (ao3) - possumdnp

Summary: “Let’s have some fun, this beat is sick,” Phil sings into the microphone connected to the Xbox. It’s slightly off-rhythm, and he grins and stares right at Dan as he continues onto the next lyric. “I want to take a ride on your disco stick.”

(A fic based on the moment from “What Dan and Phil Text Each Other 4” where DnP mention they’ve sung LoveGame countless times on an old karaoke video game.)

Don't Blame Me (ao3) - ForeverJustAnEmoKidAtHeart

Summary: When Phil gets a new job at the Tops Only Bar, he's just looking to make ends meet over the holiday period. He doesn't expect how he'll feel about one of the performers or how hard that'll make his job.

eager for you (ao3) - philsbisexuallion (bisexual_lightning)

Summary: Phil's been waiting all night for Dan to push him up against a wall and fuck him senseless. He finally gets what he wants.

(a self-indulgent ftm t4t smut fic; warning for use of the word "slut" in a degrading way)

et in saecula saeculorum (ao3) - ottertrashpalace

Summary: Phil is the Duke of Lancaster, Dan is a knight, they have been performing intricate rituals, Dan said “as you wish,” the rest is history. Enjoy.

fall in love again and again (ao3) - manchesterau

Summary: Two days into their holiday while lounging by the villa pool that they rented out for the week to ensure maximum privacy, Dan has a thought:

I’m going to marry this boy.

here come the dreams of you and (ao3) - manchesterau

Summary: So he and Dan are a thing now. Phil doesn’t really know what thing they are but it’s something he knows he wants to hold onto and never let go.

"I'm a big fan of tops" (ao3) - Scuddleduck

Summary: Set immediately after filming the keep or yeet Phil's closet video.

Dan gets hot and bothered after watching Phil take his clothes off over and over again.

in this smoking chaos (ao3) - writingcollective

Summary: Dan bottoms for the first time, not being able to shut down his inner demons that whisper internalised homophobic thoughts into his ear. But Phil guides him through it, somehow.

james joint (ao3) - phook

Summary: dan and phil are gross and have been in love for 15 yrs and get high while visiting la for tit

Keep My Hand In Yours (ao3) - totalincandescense

Summary: It was kind of just an unspoken rule of their relationship. At least one part of Phil’s body had to be touching Dan at all times or it would throw the balance of the universe.

more than words (ao3) - jestbee

Summary: Dan can't find words and Phil can't shut the fuck up, but there are other ways to communicate

phlondes do it better (ao3) - wearealldoomed

Summary: The day has come around quicker than Phil had anticipated.

The day where Phil dips his toes back into the waters of dyeing his hair after months of letting his natural hair colour grow back through.

The day where Phil goes platinum blonde without confronting Dan about it first.

Please Don't Say You Love Me (Cause I Might Not Say It Back) (ao3) - phantasticworks (steddieworks)

Summary: Dan's not very good at hiding his emotions during hookups.

based on this tweet: "got so used to saying "I love you" when I was having sex with my ex that I'm out here fighting for my life to not say it on accident with a hookup"

Precious (ao3) - Scuddleduck

Summary: dnp have intimate lazy sex or whatever the fuck made people so mad on twitter. ( I didn't write the post, I'm just using it as a prompt)

Their first night on holiday.

Precious baby angel (ao3) - blossomsphan

Summary: Dan and Phil buy matching precious baby angel shirts because they’re gay and in love. Dan shows Phil how much he likes the shirt on his angel 💖

Precious Baby Angel (ao3) - toadsappho

Summary: Phil shows Dan his new t-shirt, but that's not the only surprise he has for him.

Réponds à Ma Tendresse (ao3) - Blorbiron

Summary: Dan is visiting, and that’s Phil’s absolute favorite thing ever- which is kind of sad, maybe, for someone he’s known for like two months, but he can’t be bothered to care. Because Dan’s sitting right on his bed, close enough to touch, and cackling whenever Phil dies in Crash Bandicoot. Which is a lot.

sativa (i said im ready) (ao3) - catbearbunz (bunnieovadamoon)

Summary: it’s 2009, and phil really wishes dan would call. he does, but he comes greener than expected.

aka they get drunk and high and have esex.

Sheets and sharpies (ao3) - wwoodles

Summary: “Are you going to be good for me?”

He hovered above Dan’s face, awaiting his response. Dan was always taken aback that Phil had this power in him. The ability to completely disarm him.

“Yes, Father.”

Or, in the moments after the end of Dan’s birthday stream, Dan is not only incredibly grateful for Phil, but also incredibly horny.

so american (ao3) - ae121

Summary: Phil has been living in London for a year and thinks he's gotten pretty used to the city. He works part-time at a bookstore, using it at first to gain some friends, now it's just fun for him. His friends are constantly trying to find him someone to date, but all of his dates don't go well.

Well, that's until he met Dan.

Something Unholy (ao3) - hygge

Summary: Phil receives some very surprising and seductive texts in the middle of the night.

Stay With Me (ao3) - blehmobile

Summary: Dan and Phil are flatmates, and they occasionally flirt. They agree that it is very normal to bathe with friends. Totally no tension at all.

sunkissed (ao3) - ivylakes

Summary: Maybe Phil was made to pour warmth into this man and leave little marks all over his body the way the sun does when it covers his skin with freckles. Maybe everything they’ve ever done and every little way they’ve loved each other has culminated in this very moment, where they can hardly see each other in the low light but are still brighter than the yellow light that breaks through the sky and glitters on the ocean.

Or, Dan and Phil go on holiday, and every photo they take tells a story.

true rat and relaxation time (ao3) - trashcanfromgallifrey

Summary: Two gays on holiday, inspired by their recent video.

when the train came it was so big and powerful (ao3) - r1caner

Summary: It is 2009, and things are going to change. Dan thinks so, anyway.

a dnp fic for the 15th 19th of october.

You and Me (ao3) - Scuddleduck

Summary: Birthday sex after Dan's birthday livestream

you look so good it hurts (in my favorite t-shirt) (ao3) - phantasticworks (steddieworks)

Summary: Phil is gifted with a "Mega Dilf" shirt. Guess who picked that shirt out?

[sentienttoastah]

Not all of these are directly vocaloid related and this mostly reflects my own tastes but.

Ryōshū probably listens to the DMCV and Metal Gear Rising: Revengence songs just loud enough that others can hear it if they sit next to her. Agree on the ADO but would also add Butchers Vanity (chef), symaG, Kan Kan and MARETU.

Faust probably is into game OSTs, like the ones for Neir:Automata and the SMT series. Plus blackY, a lil bit of Team Grimoire, and Touhou. As well as general classical sometimes - I feel like she'd prefer instrumentals. Rhythm game ahh music taste when she isn't trying to focus on something (because she is good at them)

Heath would absolutely like vocaloid, but specifically a real sucker for the catchy ones like Mesmerizer and Luka Luka ☆ Night Fever. Listens to jubyphonic for EN covers. Oft falls prey to the 'bopping song/depressing lyrics' phenomenon (just like Sinclair)

Yi Sang likes peaceful sounding songs, like (gestures at Mili) and video game OSTs ,but I I see him liking upbeat ones like La Primavera and I Got It!. He listens to more songs with lyrics after canto 4.

Sinclair likes Tokyo Teddy Bear. Neru, PinoccioP, MARETU, DECO * 27, syudou and generally the most popular Vocaloid artists like a decade ago. Also likes the occasional classical and stuff like Take Me to Church, Partners in Crime and TLT's Discord remix. Listens to Nightcore when he thinks nobody else can hear it (they can). Eminem.

Gregor likes the songs that shops play bc they were popular 5-30 years ago.

Donqui is also a rhythm game fiend but esp likes the ones like Sswwiinnddlleerr or The Big Black where you aren't 100% sure throwing kitchenware down the stairs or putting an orchestra in a centrifuge wasnt at least a part of the process. Loves Fixer anthems/themes (they probably sound like indie horror game fansongs) and anime songs like A Cruel Angel's Thesis, Lifetime Girl Declaration and Lucky Star's Opening. Eurobeat.

Charon does not yet know what Eurobeat is. This is the reason the bus only hits things sometimes.

Wall of text jumpscare 🫵🐟 /pos

oh my gosh limbus headcanons in my inbox let’s go?? I’ll try responding to these erm hold on.

Ryōshū one I absolutely agree with, can’t believe I never considered Butchers Vanity and the MGR:R soundtrack. She would totally listen to loud blaring songs and metal, songs with raw emotions. But maybe also songs with deeper meanings because uh. Art or something.

Faust being a rhythm gamer is just yes.

You worded the Heathcliff vocaloid bit way better than I did. Imagining Heathcliff listening to mesmerizer or Young girl A completely oblivious, yeah. Jubyphonic as a go-to for english covers is very valid. I also think he might like Laufey for the love songs and such, a bit of mitski or joji in there too perhaps.

I’ve personally always imagined Yi Sang liking any song with some kind of deep meaning behind it(trademark) or some story because erm, typical poet behavior. But he definitely would feel intimidated by loud blaring music so he sticks to mellow, slow-paced songs. At times I imagine him liking the Hawaii Part ii album because of the lore(trademark), other times I imagine him listening to funkytown unironically.

Sinclair, he probably even shares a playlist with Heathcliff. Generally agree on this and I think he would be even more secretive about his music taste than Heathcliff. Sinclair being Sinclair. Probably also shares a playlist with Ryōshū due to them hanging out a lot. Take me to church fits really well considering his source material. Also Eminem oh my god…???

Gregor being a Dad oh god… Sounds accurate honestly. I think he would like Army Dreamers by Kate Bush though.

Don checks out. She’s probably really good at certain songs in rhythm games and absolutely terrible in others, no in between. I like to imagine she comes up with her own fixer songs, almost like a disney channel musical movie protagonist. Just randomly starts singing on the spot. Considering that one Don Quixote musical, if it existed somehow in the Project Moon universe she would love it.

Charon….

Yeah that sounds about right for Ishy. For me she listens to sea shanties very often, mostly for the nostalgia. But those really sad sea shanties like Bones in the Ocean, and other stuff by The Longest Johns or other shanty bands. There’s one I found that’s directly telling the story of Moby Dick (as well as the Moby Dick musical) I know it won’t mix very well considering the lore and timeline just like with the Don Quixote one but still.

No worries :D

I have never heard such a specific name for song. I searched it up just now and thank you anon for introducing me to nanahira lol.

But with Hong Lu mentioned I honestly think he wouldn’t know much about pop songs prior to joining Limbus Company, probably from his relatives keeping him sheltered from the outside world. He probably only knew about traditional songs or classical pieces. But being in Limbus Company now he definitely would share similar tastes to Don Quixote, or is probably really open to any kind of music because he’s never heard a lot of it. I think he’d like Bitter Choco Decoration.

Phew that was a lot. Thank you anon for the fun headcanons to read and think about!!

[devieuls]

I’ve always been there for you. part.II

Childe (Tartaglia) x Fem Reader ¡smut!

Warning : Smut 18+ MDNI; Childe Dom! ; unprotected and rude sex; dirty talk; threats; slaps; spit; bites; hickeys; punishments; blood; voyeurism; power play; teasing; choking, jealousy and possessiveness; pseudo-toxic relationship; violent foreplay; BDSM.

Reader with Cryo vision.

Synopsis : You are the only daughter of the Tsaritsa of Snezhnaya, heir to the throne and general of the nation. The diamond of that place characterized by the eternal winter, loved by the people and adored for the angelic but fierce facade that you show. The only person with whom this mask fell is your secret lover, the one who manages to make you forget your duties with a touch and takes you to heaven whenever you end up in bed together. Your relationship was reserved for the bedroom, although you liked to tease him in public, as the 11th Harbinger was also your personal guard.

Everything was great and perfect... until one day your game was pushed too far, breaking the thin thread that gave you so much stability. Appearances were deceiving, and everything you thought you had under control suddenly hit you, dropping that house of cards you built for fun.

Length : 4k

Notes: In the story there will be some slightly violent or excessively harsh parts from the reader or Childe himself, read the warnings to better understand what it is. It’s a mini series, I hope you like it.

OH, CLICK HERE TO SEE WHAT YOU'LL WEAR IN THE MEETING!

Part 1 ; Part 2 ; Part 3 ; Part 4 END

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Still furious you headed to the part of the castle reserved for each of the Harbingers, who had a wing each to be always available for the Tsarina.

Once you got to Childe’s part, you walked into his room without even knocking, locking it behind you.

< y/n, what’s goin-? > You stopped him before he could finish the sentence, rushing to his lips, looking for an effective and productive way to release anger.

The kiss from the beginning was eager and wet, your lips were sought with breathlessness and lust. Your hands slipped on his jacket, taking it off easily and then immediately climbing on his shirt, going to unbutton it with enthusiasm. You made the red-boy back up to the bed, making him sit on the edge and straddling on him, not sticking out of the kiss until he completely lost his breath. Childe bit his lip and threw his head back when you sank your teeth and lips on his neck, then hands on your body, releasing the cloak that was part of the uniform.

His hand climbed up your neck and then ended up in the middle of your hair, squeezing between your fingers and then in a vise a handful of your hair, giving a slight tug so as to tear you away from him. You growled at him because of the pull of your hair, getting a growl from him and a cold but lustful look.

Your hand swiftly wrapped around his neck, squeezing the grip, making a slight pressure; take him to the mattress, opening his shirt totally, accidentally blowing a few buttons. The red pushed you against him again thanks to the grip that he had managed to recover in your hair; he unhooked the hooks that held the shoes tightly, taking them off with ease. He again carried his lips on yours, finding the same hungry rhythm as before, going to suck and bite your lip.

Your hand tightened more against his neck, causing the boy to gasp in your mouth and a subsequent smug smile.

< Squeeze more, baby, I like it. > He said between your lips with a mischievous and irreverent tone, playing with you and with the fact that you would never go to tighten to such an extent to really suffocate him.

You smiled keeping away from the kiss, trying to get away slightly, if it wasn’t for the firm grip in your hair that forced you to stand still over the boy. Maybe a little anger had gone, but how could you be angry if you were in your lover’s bedroom.

< I could say the same to you, Tartaglia. > You said leaning towards him, whispering his title on his lips, knowing how it lit up well when you said it, especially if in a context like this.

Her blue eyes became completely clouded by lust, pulling more of your hair, making you meow from the pleasant pain you were feeling. Your hand slid purposely into his pants, undoing his belt, then clutching his already hard package, he panted and then watching the way your hand groped his needy cock. < someone is already ready for me > you said mumbling.

He pulled your hand out of his pants and quickly changed your positions, slamming you under him and locking your hand over your head, also taking the one around his neck and joining it to the other. < oh, don’t play like that with me, baby. You might regret > he answered with a hoarse and deep voice.

He carried his face on your neck, sniffing it before leaving a painful bite from which a slight trickle of blood came out that he promptly sucked, making you moan obscenely.

You shook your hands in your fists as you felt Childe’s free hand slip into your pants, pleasantly feeling the absence of your underwear, which led to him squeezing your intimacy with three fingers, pinching it and making you tremble and groan.

< Well, well well... the fearsome princess of Snezhnaya moaning like a whore under her subordinate > he said taking you down, bringing two fingers down to the clitoris, where she began to pinch and massage.

Your hips moved left and right and then pushed closer to his gloved hands. There were very few things that could make you horny, but Ajax’s gloved hand while masturbating was something idyllic. Your body was arched on the mattress, trembling as it produced pornographic moans due to overstimulation.

The boy observed your reactions satisfied as his fingers got wet because of your moods, pressing on your hole with one finger, threatening to penetrate you, slowly following the line of the edges. You bit your lip as hard as you could, started drooling like any whore, pushing your pelvis against him, hoping that this would make him enter your teeth to please you.

< Not so fast, ma'am. You walked into my room without permission, you threw yourself at me without even giving me an explanation... what a naughty girl, should I reward you for your behavior? > His fingers pinched and pulled your pulsating clit, making you moan again and roll your eyes back. Even though you had the boy right the night before, you’d never get tired of feeling so rough with yourself

< Why not, sir? > You said defiantly, grinning as you held your head back. Hearing the sound of his smile against the already sensitive skin of the neck, feeling little chills climb on your body.

Archons, he liked as fuck to hear you so disrespectful to him, because then he would have had a valid reason to be more rude to you.

Childe left another bite on your skin, taking your breath away from the surprise. < mhmh, how about I take my hand out of here ? > He said by removing your hand from your intimacy and then lowering your pants completely, then detaching from you and releasing the grip on your wrists. < You’re gonna have to make it up to me, baby. > He said with a mischievous smile, then opened your legs in front of him, taking one of your hands and carrying it on your own intimacy.

< I want you to please yourself in front of me until I get bored and I fuck you so hard that I mess up your guts and take away your ability to walk. > He said seriously, backing up until he sat in the chair that was not far from the bed but in front of it.

He crouched with his legs open, leaning his elbow on an armrest and then a temple on his fist, waiting for you to start touching in front of him. This one was really new to you, you never masturbated in front of him, and it embarrassed you a little bit, and he knew that, so he made a request like that.

You have brought your fingers to your red and swollen clitoris, beginning to give it attention and massaging it slowly already experiencing chills and breathlessness in the chest, leaving some soft, almost meowing moans. You have gradually speeded up the movements of the fingers, bringing the free hand to attend to the obscene and strong moans that you were leaving because of the pleasures, panting on the name of the boy who looked at you with longing.

You sobbed his name a couple of times before he ordered you not to cover your mouth, making you carry a hand in the sheets you squeezed with hope of easing the sweet pain of pleasure.

The predatory look of the boy watched as the folds of your intimacy moved at your touch, dripping on your red silk sheets; he watched as your body agitated and bent as you called his exasperated and needy name, The showy skin on your legs and how they trembled once you swallowed two fingers inside of you. His pants became tighter and tighter as he listened to you sobbing his name, begging him to come and keep on coming.

You felt like a total slut touching you in front of him in that way, letting him watch and study every little movement, listening to how you whined about his name in need of contact with him and enjoying seeing you so fragile and naked in front of him. Maybe he would propose something similar in the future, he was loving that version of you, so shameless and desperate for his dick.

You stopped the movements of your hand when you felt the presence of the boy standing in front of the bed, after all, sneaking around was one of his skills but you would have preferred to hear him first. Childe grinned bitterly but at the same time mischievous, looking down upon your face.

< Did I say "stop" ? > he growled and laid a hand on your neck, squeezed it slightly. < Is't so hard to be a good whore for me? Do I have to be meaner with you? > He went on, and then slapped your vagina, making you moan deeply, shivering. < You must have pissed me off today, didn’t you? > His voice was low and deep as she slammed a second slap into your intimacy. < my bad, I should have educated better a rebellious kitten like you. But you could be such a good kitty, right? > He cocluse by rolling up the sleeves of the shirt on his arms, putting on gloves later.

< maybe I don’t want to be. I know you like it when I’m mean > you answered brazenly.

He took you from your hips after sitting on the edge of the bed, settling with his belly against his thighs, taking off the shirt you were wearing and then stroking your bare back, passing a finger along your spine, causing you little chills. You took a deep breath before sucking on his gloved fingers at his command, mumbling slightly as you felt it in your mouth. < such a good kitten, so good... Go on, baby. > He whispered. You kept sucking and licking his fingers until he took them out of your mouth to enter sharply inside you, making you scream and stick your nails into his thigh. < Aw, if only you could see how pretty your face is drooling over my fingers like a sweet bitch. >

His fingers pumped fast in and out, hitting some spots he knew were sensitive to you, causing you to pant and groan shamefully against his thigh, blushing for strong pleasure. Childe let out a laugh at your reactions, which made you blush more, beginning to drool once he began to alternate some slaps on your intimacy with the fingers pumping.

The pleasure was too much, you felt the blood crashing on your lower abdomen concentrating the pleasure right where the boy was cutting. He came out of your intimacy and struck a couple of times your buttocks, letting slip disparaging words and totally non-royal titles. You bent your back trying to get up from this position that was becoming uncomfortable and painful, receiving the boy’s hand on your back, pushing it down to lock yourself in that position < You'll not get up from here until I feel satisfied. I’m not done with you yet. > He said leaving a bite on your shoulder and then licking the mark with satisfaction.

You kept moaning at every gloved slap against you, meowing to try to recover some air in your lungs. Your drool soaked his pants as you felt his cock pounding against your stomach for the excitement of punishing you. He entered you again, pumping harder and faster than before, until you come up with a loud orgasm, calling his name.  He took you by the hair, pulling you towards him, making your sore back arch. < Just because you cum don’t think I’m satisfied. > He said licking your neck smiling, then throwing you on his mattress, licking his fingers full of your moods, moaning with pleasure in feeling the sweetness of the liquid.

He took off the gloves with his teeth and then completely removed his shirt and pants, observing your exhausted and panting body on the bed, approaching you and pulling you to him by the legs. You bite your lip before leaning over you going to leave wet kisses and hickeys on your belly, and then end up on your breast, beginning it to suck and bite rough.

One of your hands crashed into your mouth, trying to take care of the sharp sound of your desperate moans, weeping quietly. The other hand ended up in the boy’s soft hair, pulling some strands when he sucked too hard or bit. After several minutes, Childe gave a respite to your over-stimulated nipples, recreating a wet river between your legs.

He came down between your legs, kissing your inner thigh until he got to your intimacy, blowing on it to give you more chills. < Do you want me, baby? > he said leaving a kiss right between the separation of the thigh and vagina, making you pant slightly. < Tell me. How much do you want me? > He kept teasing you. In other circumstances, you wouldn’t stoop to his little games so easily, but you needed it.

Your dangerous game in the meeting, the argument with Regrator, Childe in THAT uniform, and his being so rough in bed, only increased your libido. You needed Childe, every little part of you screamed his name, wanted it, needed it.

<  I want you terribly much, Ajax. > You said panting, hoping that this would be enough to convince him, but you would have lied to yourself in actually thinking it. He loved to destroy your power under him, totally nullifying your title and making you subject to his will, and that was what always brought you back to him.

< So pretty, you can do better. Beg me, baby. Let me hear how fucking you want me. > he licked the point that just before he was just kissing, and then massage the outer thigh with his hands, groping it with possession.

< Please, I crave you... I’m begging you, Sir. > Your words were meowing and gasping for the sensitive point he was playing with. Childe went completely on to hear that nickname, you knew it made him particularly hot and that’s why you used it to get what you wanted.

The boy moved away from your legs and stood up, taking off his pants with a speed never seen before, coming back above you and not hesitating a second to to enter you to the bottom. You opened your eyes wide, letting a scream followed by a groan come out of your mouth; your body arched again, while your hands clung to the sheets, clutching them between your fingers while some tear of pleasure came out of your eyes, closing them later. He didn’t even give you time to get used to it that he began to suck his sore dick inside you, took your face with one hand and tightened his grip on the jaw. < Look at me. You wanted me so much until now, what’s up? Princess, you can’t stand all this? > He said growling at you, then moaning because of your walls closing around him.

You opened your eyes to look at him, letting out of your mouth some curses for the pleasure he was giving you as he pulsed against your walls and pushed deeper and deeper. Your vision was a little blurry from the tears coming out of you, which made the boy inside you harder.

< Look at you, so pretty when you cry for my dick. > He said and then left a wet kiss on your lips, licking your tears later, narrowly increasing the intensity of the thrusts.

His hand wrapped around your neck, choking some of your moans and whimpers. Your eyes looked at him with irreverence and lust, you wished he would go stronger with you, you needed to feel him to the last, to focus your anger and libido on something. Between one push and the other his grip on your neck tightened making you moan and roll your eyes back, panting < more... > with a broken voice, continuing to cry on his sheets making him enjoy.

< You want more, baby? Okay. > He said smirking and then yanking your hair and leaving a slap on your face, not too painful, but you liked this. He had never gone so far with hair pulled, making you cry, choke and slap but you didn’t mind all this now.

You left a liberating moan when it totally entered you, hitting your most sensitive spot, leaving a slap on your breast and pulling your hair again, pushing harder and harder. Maybe it hurt a little, but you didn’t care, it was a pain that could be endured if he gave you the best cum shot of your life. The nails ended up scratching and clinging to his shoulders, cutting his back a little too, causing the boy to groan hoarsely.

He held you by the neck as he gave the last rough thrusts inside you, making you cum with a spray on his still hard dick but close to orgasm too. You missed your breath after the strong orgasm, gasping for air as the guy kept pumping in and out of you and then reaching orgasm too with a loud and deep moan, slightly growling. You carried your hands on his neck and shoved it against your lips, beginning yet another wet kiss, as the boy’s hands moved to hold himself.

< If I had known that coming to your room would have meant this, I would have walked into this room years ago > You said laughing on his lips, and then moved the boy to the side and dragged you over him, sitting astride on his belly. You left some sweet kisses on his chest and then on his neck. < I needed this so much > you whispered.

< And I thought I was exaggerating... > He laughed back. < I needed it, too, to see you dressed like this... fuck, you don’t know how much I had to stop myself from bending you over the table and fucking you there. > He counted, laying his hands on your hips.

< You stopped the presence of my mother, may I never see what we do. > You responded by laughing while leaving a bite on his neck. < I would have done it. I was already warming you under the table... who knows what the Tsarina would have said in seeing her only daughter jump on the dick of one of her subordinate... to try > you received a small spanking after what you had said, remembering how devoted your lover was to your mother.

< You are without rules... You know what I risk in doing all this > He sighed heavily.

< But we like the risk, the thrill of being discovered. I don’t think you ever felt sorry for possessing me, at least not after all these years > You snorted and then dropped on the mattress.

< I could never get tired of this. I live to serve the royal family and to serve you > he said approaching him, caressing your naked skin. < But you know that I have duties towards the Tsarina, don't be angry for this >

You turned to him, and then wrapped the bravvia around his neck. < Mh, I don’t like my mother’s power over you. The only one who should command you that way should be me. I’m jealous. > You grumbled with a soft pout.

< Mh.. but you have more power than her, I am totally yours. You know who should be really jealous ? Me. You sent me away with the others to stay with another Harbinger, I feel offended > He said moving some locks behind your ear.

You sighed, you hated to think back to that moment, knowing it was your big mistake. If you had talked to Childe about what happened, there would have been nothing in the world, not even the Tsarina herself, to stop him from killing his comrade. You knew your lover’s levels of jealousy, and that was enough to know when it was best to lie.

< I have my duties too, I had to check the nation finances, these things are not up to you, it would have been suspicious to make you stay to talk about something you do not understand. > You said and then wring his cheeks < You’re so cute when you get jealous > You giggled and then you printed a kiss on his lips.

Childe snorted and kissed me back < Something I understand too... > He said grumbling.

< Ah, yes? You know about accounting and financial systems? > You asked mocking him, only to find his face in the hollow of your neck.

< A little, yes... I would learn more if it takes to stay more time with you > He whispered. < We don't train together for a long time... I am always traveling and I thought there was something with him > He said with a slight tone of concern in the voice.

You held your arms around her neck, laying your face over her head, looking sad and lost. You wanted to tell him, you didn’t like keeping secrets from him, but that was also to preserve his safety. < You’re the only one... I would never replace you with anyone. > Your voice was sweet and delicate as you were held in his arms.

< Don’t say it... one day you'll have to get married and you will not be mine anymore. You'll replace me and you forget me > He said bitterly. < That’s why I want to keep you to myself as much as possible. >

You swallowed and then sighed. < What if I married you? >

< The Tsarina cannot marry a Harbinger, is inconvenient and would not accumulate the force of the ruler. The Tsaritsa would never allow your marriage, especially if it is with me. > he responded by caressing your back.

< Pity, you would be sexy dressed as a King at my side... so sexy > You said laughing to break the tension in the air, trying to avoid the harsh reality.

< Sexy? I could make you scream for hours in the throne room and shout my name in the bedroom, without the fear of being discovered > He answered laughing too.

< Not that I’d mind... that would be nice, at least I’d have a good reason to kill all those sluts who hit on you. Even if I don’t say it, you belong to me. And I know you’re flirting with that traveler. Oh, Archons. if I find out you’re sleeping with her in my absence, I swear my mother’s torture would be your salvation. > You said playing with a lock of her hair, curling it around your finger.

< She’s not nearly as beautiful as you, because betraying you to a stranger. I’m totally yours. > He responded promptly.

< Swear. Swear to me that you are mine and that you belong to me.> Your voice was colder and more decisive.

Childe looked at you sincerely and then sighed. < I belong to you, every little part of me belongs to you. I think of nothing but you. Only you. >

[anruraiocht]

TOA Anniversary Munday

from neffi (thank you neffi!!)

Celebrating TOA and the people who contribute to make our group what it is.

Repost, don't reblog. Only fill in what you feel comfortable sharing!

Happy anniversary, TOA! Here's to many more years spent together.

Name: limit

Pronouns: they/them

Birthday (no year): 3/8 (thats march 8th for my non-americans)

Where are you from? What is your time zone? US | EST

How long is your roleplay experience? 10+ years

How were you introduced to roleplaying as a whole? i was doing warrior cats roleplay on scratch dot mit dot edu at age 10 brother

How were you introduced to TOA? n was talking about it on call and me and the oomfs decided to play a little prank on him when he went to the bathroom. it was really funny to be fair

Do you have any pets? three dogs (australian shepherd, shiba, chihuahua mix) and a cat (stupid)

What is your favorite time of year and why? (Season, holiday, general period) fall; i have pollen allergies that give me really bad headaches and live in a pollen bowl you can imagine my suffering.

Some interests and things you like/enjoy? i like to play and draw

What non-Fire Emblem games do you play? i'm a visual novel (otome, yuri, general non-romantic) and rhythm game type of guy. jrpgs and action rpgs when i'm in the mood

Favorite Pokemon type & Pokemon: the only pokemon type that matters to me is Dog

Tell us some funfacts and trivia about yourself! i used my wisdom teeth fun fact last yeah so uhhhhh did you know i can clap one handed but only with my right hand

How did you get into Fire Emblem? i think i saw awakening in gamestop and was like yeag i'll play that. my brother and i had just finished playing virtue's last reward together so we named our robins sigma and phi

What Fire Emblem games have you played? i've at least touched every game except for 1-3 (ymmv how much that means for each game)

First & Favorite Fire Emblem games: Awakening first, FE6 or Engage for fave

List your 5 favorite Fire Emblem characters across the series! honestly just look at my muse list for this one i only write my faves

Who was the first character ever to make you go “ooh I like this one in particular” and why? Can be any context and reason! lyn was the first fe character to really get me excited about fe i was writing essays about her in n's dms while in the middle of classes haha

Any Fire Emblem crushes? 😳 i am in love with nel like /srs /gen i opened engage on my birthday so i could hear her say happy birthday to me

If you’ve played (or are familiar with) the following games, who was your first S support? Who would you S support nowadays?

Awakening: Chrom (on purpose); married Olivia in my male run. i would still choose chrom Fates: kaden and keaton for birthright and conquest respectively. i stopped playing once i had my furry daughters. LMAO. Three Houses: never got that far. dorothea and mercedes probably. Engage: i have commitment issues and this is why i dont finish games

Favorite Fire Emblem class? Dark Mage(s)

If you were a Fire Emblem character, what would be your class and stats? Would you be playable? sticking with what i said last year; a mage that just completely sucks ass. repping my special girls by also being a character that makes people say "why would you use them"

If you were a Three Houses character, what would be your affiliation? i apparently said golden deer last year. yeah sure

If you were an Officers Academy student, what would be your boons, banes and potential budding talent? Reason boon, Heavy Armor and Faith Banes, bow budding talent

If you were an Engage character, which nation would you originate from? i was gonna say elusia but then i remembered solm is partially brazil inspired and i felt my father breathing down my neck to not betray his country

How do you pronounce TOA? TOE-uh

Current TOA muses: Miranda, Marni, Reginn

Past TOA muses? Volug, Lyn, Sophia

Who was your first TOA muse? If you no longer have them, can you see yourself picking them up again? Volug; he's comfortably retired.

Do you believe you have a type of character you gravitate towards writing? the three limit muse genders are as follows:

-depersonalization and/or self-isolation (we're not the same and never will be) -my siblings are all i have (but i dont know if love is enough to save us) -oh god where does the anger go after everything is over ..............the bonus limit muse gender is "man who is funny" ftr

Do you have characters or types of characters you don’t think you can handle writing, but wish you could? i think i could do anything if i tried hard enough (hubris speaking) but i would have to become obsessed with them first which is the hard part because i feel like i'm pretty picky

What kind of scenes, situations etc do you believe you enjoy writing the most? i've really gotten back into my complicated sibling relationship era lately. i like non-traditional family relationships in general and having to work to keep that connection alive. i like relationships between women (not necessarily romantic but also yeah i'm a lesbian so romantic too) and the nuances that come with that. Honestly i like talking about gender in general HAHA

Do you have any scenario in mind for your muse(s) that gets you thinking “man I hope I get to write this one day”? just happy to be here tbh :)

Favorite TOA-related memories? my friemds :)

Present or past tense? present tense but honestly i think im really bad at tenses. LMFAO.

Normal size text, small text, no preference? normal size is my default. i'll match whatever my partner prefers

Got any potential muse delusions to share? 😉 wouldnt you like to know weatherboy

[thanx-files]

Season 3 Wrap-Up

Let’s skip the boring part. We know the routine by now, and I have a lotttt to say this time around. Thoughts on Talitha Cumi and S3 below the cut.

Talitha Cumi

My least favorite season finale so far, if I’m honest. It’s not that the stakes weren’t high enough, it’s that I was confused for a lot of this episode. I, like Mulder, have precious little patience for Cancer Man and his musings, and there were a LOT of musings in this episode. I’m going to have to read the Wikipedia plot summary for this one. Also, not enough Scully.

Season 3

My favorite season so far. I know, I know “Thanx, you’ve said that every season!” If you’ll recall, I was on the fence about season 2 being better than season 1 (Pilot my beloved) because I feared recency bias. But I feel very strongly that S3 beats out both S1 and S2 pretty handily, recency notwithstanding. Why? Because it’s fun, in a way. The first handful of episodes are less so, but as the season finds a rhythm, there are these brilliant little character moments. Skinner gains a lot of depth this season, for example, but he also has some killer one-liners that tell us he is playing this game for better or for worse.

And as for Mulder and Scully? If there is one thing these two will do, it’s talk on the phone. Those were some of my favorite details this season. The classic “it’s me,” but also the way they can’t stay off the phone in Coprophages. The way Mulder knows Scully will stay on the line to eavesdrop in Avatar. Mulder, our “ticking time-bomb of insanity” starts to show his Captain Ahab side more (hello, Grotesque???). And Scully gets to call him on it! More importantly, the moment I’ve been waiting for: they finally let Scully be so so Catholic.

This season just went crazy, I don’t know what to tell you. There are some seriously unhinged episode progressions — and I’m not even talking about the two-parters. Coprophages to Syzygy to Grotesque (just two eps before Pusher)? Quagmire to Wetwired? Stop it.

5 fave eps (now with more musing!):

Revelations - I told y’all I wanted more Catholic Scully, and this episode really delivered. I love that our skeptic is religious, however remotely. I love Scully. I love that there is this part of her which the X-Files never seem to touch — until they do.

War of the Coprophages - The way they can’t stay off the phone with each other. The way Fox Mulder just HAPPENS to be in the cockroach town during the cockroach uprising. The bug that crawls across the screen. The way Mulder is eating chocolate cake while writing his report about how he narrowly escaped an exploding shit lab. The inexplicably exotic bug he squishes without hesitation.

Pusher - Fuck all the way off. The paper that just says “Pass.” “Smile, Scully.” Russian roulette. Russian roulette!!! I don’t need to tell you all about this. You already know. Plus, there’s this deeply unwell post I already made.

Jose Chung from Outer Space - I also already posted about this one, but the TL;DR is that this sitcom fanatic loves a frame story and a series of Events Which Probably Didn’t Happen Like That.

Quagmire - I KNOW I KNOW it was between this and Wetwired. But when it comes down to it, the Captain Ahab conversation is just too fucking good. Also, I feel I should honor the memory of Queequeg, who deserved better.

5 least fave eps:

The Blessing Way - It’s not that it’s a bad ep, it’s just not for me. I’ve never been much for the metaphysical “between life and death” thing where you talk to your dead dad and he tells you to keep living. This is because my heart is made of rocks.

The List - I’ve come to the conclusion that I just don’t like prison eps.

Piper Maru & Apocrypha - I just got lost. Glad to see Krycek again tho!

Talitha Cumi - See above.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to buckle my seatbelt for the [REDACTED] [REDACTED] arc. Maybe I’ll also rewatch the pilot just for kicks.

[yoinkschief]

if the main 4 had a favorite game (or genre of game) what would it be? :0c

Edd and Tord are big horror game addicts - I can see them staying up late at night playing the worst horror games known to man because of this, but Tord would be SUPER into the Resident Evil games, he probably has a lot of disc copies, I can imagine him wanting to collect them all like pokemon lol but Tord also loves rhythm games like OSU! and had the misfortune of getting REALLY attached to Friday Night Funkin when it got really popular, he's got too many mods installed on his computer of that damn game

Portal ruined Tom's life /hj LDSKJBDG that's his favorite game by far - he's a big puzzle guy and he LOVES the story telling in that game, it's PHENOMENAL he's truly never recovered from playing that game and it's ruined his taste in literacy, he's been spoiled with that game and has had very few stories and games affect him like how Portal has

Matt doesn't really play a lot of games,, but I can see him having like idle games on his phone for when he's bored,, something like Neko Atsume,, but the most "video game" thing he plays would be casual games, something like Animal Crossing or Cult of the Lamb

I've mentioned Tord's faves would be RE, but Edd's are a little more tricky,, hmm,, he also loves Co-Op games and sandbox games,,, he'd be a big fan of Terraria and Minecraft, but I think his favorite game of all time would be probably the Legend of Zelda series, I can see him growing up with that and like Metal Gear

[zehecatl]

happy steam sale to all, here’s a 'little’ rec list for (primarily) indie games that, in my opinion, isn’t as popular as they deserve to be!

Ghostwire: Tokyo -60% the only triple a game you’ll see on this list, and my own all time personal favourite. if you like anime, japanese history and folklore, and bromance, you will very likely love this game. it also lets you explore Tokyo and pet the dogs! and cats! literally perfect game!!

Iconoclasts -70% i have been shilling this game, at every major steam sale, for pretty much four-five years. before Ghostwire, it was my all time favourite video game. it was in development, by one person, for around eight years. it is still, in my opinion, one of the most gorgeous pieces of pixel art in the whole damn medium. just. please check it out i beg

Angels of Death -40% rpgmaker game that absolutely excels at being a character driven story. it also got an anime adaptation? which i’ve actually never seen?? but if you grew up playing horror rpgmaker games, please do yourself a favour, and check this out. and if you didn’t- check it out anyway! it’s not super scary or anything, with a more psychological horror focus

Owlboy -65% tiny owl boy does his very best and will worm his way into your heart and then crush it because life is maybe a bit too cruel to him. also you can fly! did i mention you can fly??

Pony Island + The Hex -80% did you adore Inscryption? did you like the meta element? then oh boy, should you check out Daniel Mullins’ two former games! they’re good! probably has the same vibe as Inscryption! could not tell you i still have not played that thing! but these are both very good, and absolutely worth every cent

Underhero -70% it’s a bit rough around the edges, but man, this game has so much love put into it, and i think it deserves way more love than it got

My Friend Pedro -75% the action is definitely the high point here, but i have a personal soft spot for the lil’ bit of lore we do get. like, there is something there, and i want to dig my fingers in. also wacky banana is funny

Sayonara Wild Hearts -40% queer girls on motorcycles? in my rhythm game?? it’s more likely than you think!! (also, if you suck at rhythm games: me too, this is still worth picking up)

MO:Astray -50% the fact that seemingly no one on tumblr has played this... despite the fact that it feels like it’d be a right shoe in... criminal. there is a little CREACHUR! LOOK AT IT. IT IS A SLIME!!

The Messenger -75% i legit thought this game was way more popular than it, apparently, is, which i think just speaks volume of my opinion on it. it’s genuinely right up there with Shovel Knight as iconic retro throwbacks- plus! the devs are making THE most gorgeous indie rpgs, apparently set in the same universe. so that is another reason to check it out

This Strange Realm of Mine -90% an extremely weird little game that will likely not be for everyone, or even most people, but that i really liked. considering the price, i don’t really think there’s much to lose on buying this little gem

Darkside Detective -70% funny point & click game with very shipable protagonists! there’s also a ‘second season’ that i have not played (yet), but is very likely absolutely worth getting

Haiku, the Robot -33% it is, rather obviously, not as good as Hollow Knight, but if you’re suffering from ‘waiting for Silksong’, perhaps this little gem will tide you over

Transiruby -30% another small metroidvania! has really pretty pixel art, and is just a fun little time

Flynn, Son of Crimson -50% not what it was promised, but it’s a fun platformer with gorgeous pixel art, and a dog. it’s a good time, and isn’t that what we all want :]

Yomawari: Midnight Shadows -70% a cute horror game, with excellent enemy designs, and a whole town to explore. also the story is so good. i am still absolutely enamoured with this title. this is, technically, the 2nd in a series, but you can play the games standalone, and while i’m sure the 1st is just as good, i’ve only played this one. because priorities (also keep in mind!! that this is a horror game!!! i’d recommend looking up some trigger warnings, because, uh. horror game!)

A Short Hike -35% just an extremely cozy and fun little game. exploring every inch of this island was just such a good time, i still think extremely fondly of this title

Webbed -30% i am gently laying an hand on the shoulder of every bug enthusiastic on this website. you play as a spider. who is trying to get back her boyfriend from a bird. and there’s a really fun swinging mechanic. do you really need anything more?

Garden Story -60% i am once again shocked this game isn’t more popular. what do you mean a cozy adventure game with community restoration, foraging, and some fun combat with a grape protagonist isn’t one of the biggest sellers in cozy gaming spheres. there’s a frog. you can put on different hats. what else do you want!!

Donut County -70% funny little game about making holes and being a chaotic racoon. i have an extremely soft spot for the characters in this, i could not explain it <3

also Oxenfree is not on sale, but it’s cheap, and the sequel is dropping very soon! and you should absolutely check it out! because it’s really REALLY good!!

[sirius-to-pup]

💙 3rd Anniversary 11.24 💛

It's been 3 whole years since I've gotten into Utapri and met the love of my life!!

And what better way to celebrate than to have a final Live Show to commemorate not only our 3rd Year Anniversary together but to also Shining Live's closure! For many it's been a long journey, but for me it feels like my journey is still only beginning. I'm excited for the many many years that follow and for the new tiddings that will be ahead. With Natsuki by my side, I know no matter how hard it gets, it'll be breeze just having someone so positive, supportive, and the one I can call my husband.

I love you, Natsuki, you're my most adored constellation, my universe, and my guiding light.

Thank you for being in my life 💙🌙

Ooohhh, I really can't believe that Shining Live is going to be shut down completely :')

I know for many fans, like me, also got into the series through the rhythm game on the app store. Had it not been for me giving idol games a chance, I never would have met Natsuki. He was the positive person I really needed in my life when I felt like I was so out of place. He got me to be so much kinder, he helped me be much more positive. If there was anyone that made me have a goofy grin 24/7 it was him!!

But as we all know, not everything lasts forever. With the same rhythm game being shut down last year I was absolutely devastated. It was very jarring for me to realize that a certain part of my life was officially over. Not by my choice however, it shook many MANY fans. Not just me, so many of us really did enjoy being able to log in in the morning, their favorite boy greeting them with a good morning. Even now I can still remember Natsuki's cute yawn and telling the sweetest good morning. The occasional him asking me not to hog the blanket. I really do miss it. Not to say that I miss the game in its entirety, gacha can go to hell or whatever but, a lot of us really felt connected to our guy cause it really felt like we were sharing our days with them.

And so I tried joining the JP version of the app, it was still up but many of us didn't have hopes that their version was gonna last for much longer. I quickly dropped the app cause it just wasn't the same. The language barrier was too great, so it really did hinder what I was trying to get back. And it doesn't help that we were right. Nearly exactly after the 1st anniversary of EN's shut down announcement, JP recieved theirs. No matter how much they spend on the game, it's bound for its end. While the pain of the loss wasn't as great as the first, it was still so hard for us to grapple with the fact that this is officially an end of an era.

My feelings for today are a bit of a mixed bag, but overall, just as Natsuki would want for me, I'll do my best to smile through it and be happy. It's our day! It's our day of coming together, and we'll be expecting new tidings! This isn't the end, but rather a start for something new!

So let's celebrate! Happy 3 year anniversary, Natsuki! Let's be together always!! 💛💛💫

[rmd-writes]

nine books

fine, you win @cha-melodius, @tintagel-or-cockleshells, @kiwiana-writes, @clottedcreamfudge, @cricketnationrise, @liminalmemories21 @sherryvalli I will share nine favourites books/authors I will read no questions asked (aka Lims' variation), despite the fact that every time I get tagged I forget every book I’ve ever read.

with the somewhat shameful admission that I have read only one actual book in the last 12ish months 🙈 (but many hundreds of thousands of words of fanfic), in no particular order:

Red, White & Royal Blue - Casey McQuiston: no explanation necessary, right? This book is everything to me for so many reasons, not least that it brought me some of the best people I know 💖

Pride & Prejudice - Jane Austen: I read this for school in year 9 and fell in love with romance as a genre. I reread it at least once a year for a very long time.

Song of the Lioness Quartet - Tamora Pierce (and all of the books set in Tortall tbh): yes, this is a series. Alanna and her adventures are very dear to my heart, and I love that in recent years, the author has said that if she was writing the books now, she’d probably describe Alanna as non-binary but she didn’t have that language when she wrote the books in the 80s. I’m very excited to introduce this quartet to my eldest soon.

The Hunger Games - Suzanne Collins: for a while, I devoured pretty much YA dystopian fiction book out there and this is the best of them. I’ve read them many times, and they hold a special place in my heart because they were a familiar, comforting reread at a very difficult time in my life.

The Snail & the Whale - Julia Donaldson: a children’s picture book, yes. But I’ve read it aloud hundreds of times to my kids and it’s just such a beautiful story about seeing the wonders of the world from a new perspective. It’s got such a lovely cadence and rhythm to it too, when read aloud.

Something Wild & Wonderful - Anita Kelly: aka the one (1) book I’ve read recently. I preordered this because I really enjoyed her other book, Love & Other Disasters, but it sat unread on my kindle for months until a friend mentioned that they’d started it. A quick look at the blurb gave me similar vibes to Fifteen Hundred Miles, one of my all time favourite Schitt’s Creek fics, so I started it and I could barely put it down! I sobbed for the last 60 pages or so - sad and then happy tears and it was wonderful.

The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo - Taylor Jenkins Reid: I loved everything about this. Compelling storytelling, with an imperfect protagonist who you hope succeeds despite her flaws.

and two authors who I’d read anything they published, without question:

Casey McQuiston - they haven’t failed me yet. I didn’t like I Kissed Shara Wheeler as much as RWRB and One Last Stop, but it was a good read and had characters who I love (Smith, my beloved). For a while there, I was convinced that it was going to take CMQ4 to break my book drought.

Alexis Hall - Boyfriend Material was the first book of his that I read, and I quickly read a lot of his back catalogue along with everything he’s published since and there’s nothing I’ve read that I haven’t enjoyed immensely. Plus, when I was on Twitter, I soon learned that Alexis loves to have a conversation almost entirely in Schitt’s Creek gifs and anyone who does that immediately endears themselves to me 😅

no pressure tagging: @pragmatic-optimist @nelsonnicholas @indomitable-love @welcometololaland @celeritas2997 @danieljradcliffe @howtosingit @swearphil @stereopticons (have another tag 😂) @reasonandfaithinharmony @guardian-angle22 @never-blooms

[asexualbookbird]

were there any other anime that you enjoyed?

ANOTHER BIG ASK LMAO

I was big into Haruhi Suzumiya (God Knows... almost made it onto that list of fave songs not in english lol) and Toradora for the LONGEST time! One of my high school teachers actually gave me half the manga volumes I own because he knew I loved it so much. I wore my hair like Haruhi every day for. A year? Maybe?? At least???? TRULY I WAS IN DEEP. Someone ruined them for me though lol still trying to win them back in my heart.

Naruto was like. 60% of my personality in middle school and high school. I think I've cosplayed every iteration of Itachi and some Sasuke too. Met some of my favorite people through cosplaying loser Uchihas. The music kicks ass. Kishimoto doesn't know how to write women. Fanfic authors always came to his rescue.

Yakitate! Japan. I don't have much more to say about that. Except it's VERY good and VERY fun and I never got into Food Wars because YAKITATE! JAPAN IS RIGHT THERE!!!!!!! I should probably get into Food Wars though.

Tokyo Mew Mew was FORMATIVE!!!! It's the series I read my first fanfic from! I made my own mewmew sona a while back (like. a few years ago. not in middle school LOL) it will ALWAYS hold a place in my heart.

MADOKA! Listen. I respect why people don't like the series. Girls deserve more than suffering. BUT I LOVE IT SO MUCH LMAO HOMURA MY GIRL, and the visuals UGH THE VISUALS!!!! IT'S SO PRETTY!!!!

Also pretty was Made in Abyss, but again, I fully recognize why people stay away from it. But it's SO GOOD AND SO PRETTY AND OUCHIE. Perhaps there is a theme here,

I didn't get into Love Live! when it was still airing, and never really watched the anime until I got VERY into the rhythm game a couple year ago (I'd been playing way back in 2014, but stopped when I got a new phone and lost my old account but downloaded it around 2020 as something to do) and im kind of kicking myself because now all the merch of the OG girls is GONE! GIVE ME MY MAKI MERCH!!!!! I'm still very salty about the mobile game fiasco lmao but its okay because Project Sekai will save me :)

I feel like I could go on, but then it'd just turn into "what anime have you watched?" because im very bad at watching anime so I've only ever finished shows I truly like (or if a friend has sat me down and said 'we're watching this now :3' ) Full Metal Alchemist was also Formative, but I never actually sat down and watched Brotherhood all the way through lol I've seen Death Note a half dozen times I think which is weird because I would NOT consider it a fave yet it's probably the one I've seen most other than Haruhi (endless eight DNI)

I have not watched anything recently, but I love the Dungeon Meshi manga, and I think I might watch..fri....frieren? The little elf girl. That looks cute. It will probably destroy me.

[vmures]

rules: answer + tag 9 people you want to get to know better and/or catch up with

I was tagged by the ever lovely @oldefashioned

Favorite color?

Purple! I adore all shades of it. I'm also fond of various greens and pretty much all jewel tones, but purple is still my fave.

Last song? 🎧

Currently reading? 📔

Currently working my way through @libraryofgage's Stranger Things fics over on ao3. Really loving them so far. The Munson's as Addams relations is a very fun idea.

After this, I'll catch up on fic updates in my email and then go back to working my way through my marked for later stuff. lol

Currently watching? 📺

Spent some time with very dear friends/chosen family recently and caught up on some things I hadn't seen (I'm super slow to watch things on my own, partially because I really seem to prefer watching things with others). So here's what I watched on my little holiday:

The Proposal with Ryan Reynolds and Sandra Bullock. I'm not sure why I'd never gotten around to seeing it as I adore both the mains and it has Betty White, who is always a delight. It was so much fun. Just the sort of thing I want from a rom com.

Knight and Day with Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz. A fun romp of an action comedy and a hell of a wild ride. Cameron Diaz was so fun as she gets dragged into spy stuff and shows she's rather a quick study.

Two eps of Black Mirror: San Junipero and Ashley O. Both eps were really good. San Junipero totally made me cry, but in a good way. It was just so sweet. Ashley O was a little slow at the start, but once it hits it's stride it was great.

One episode of the Amazon Prime series Solos: Leah. This episode features Anne Hathaway and was honestly amazing. She plays a physicist trying to solve time travel and it packs a hell of a punch. The premise of this anthology series is that each episode only features one actor, but it is amazing what an incredibly talented actor can accomplish all on their own. Leah tells an incredibly powerful story and I highly recommend watching it.

Madame Web. This one was a mixed bag. Fascinating premise, but the execution of the ideas was...not great. It was compelling enough that I was willing to sit through the not great parts to see what happened and the ending is solid. It's like the writers/director didn't know how to do the build up but once they hit a certain point of the story they found their rhythm and it worked a lot better from that point on.

Hunger Games Mockingjay Parts 1 and 2. I'd read the books about a decade ago and seen the first two movies, but somehow never got around to seeing the last two. I really enjoyed both. The cast is phenomenal and Jennifer Lawrence does a really good job of playing someone with C-PTSD and concussions. There were some lovely subtle shifts in her expression at times. Playing someone who is wooden when given acting directions for propaganda videos and vibrant and engaging when acting on their own is not an easy thing and she does it wonderfully. The rest of the cast is equally amazing.

Currently craving?

Ice cream. But I'll probably have a yogurt instead.

Coffee or tea?

Both! Coffee I loved hot or iced and with a bit of cream but no sugar. Tea I also love hot or iced. So far the only tea I'm not a fan of is lapsang souchong, which has a very smoky taste and scent. (as in it smells a bit like campfire and taste like liquid smoke--to me at least). Black teas I like with milk but no sweetener. Herbal teas...some I like with cream if hot (usually spiced ones) and others (particular fruit based ones) I like with nothing added. Greens, whites, pu erhs, and oolongs I generally like plain, though I do like to add cream to spiced teas as I really like how the cream flavor interacts with the spices.

As usual, I'm gonna just say that if you feel like playing, please consider yourself tagged by me. Please do tag me if you decide to play along. I love learning about all y'all.

Since I'm chatty as hell, I decided to follow @oldefashioned's lead. Here's an easy template for those who would like to play along.

rules: answer + tag 9 people you want to get to know better and/or catch up with

Tagged by

Favorite color?

Last song?

Currently reading?

Currently watching?

Currently craving?

Coffee or tea?

[thatbtsfan]

Upcoming series: "MUST be LOVE"( 3 parts)

Pairing: Jungkook x redear (Y/n)(f)

genre/rating:m 18+) angst,fluff, smut: emotional, jealousy/jealous.friends to lovers au

Summary: Everything changes when from "friends" it becomes something "else" a party, a hot night and two friends.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️

Mature scene, cursing, vape/ smoking mentions, Partys, flirting, filthy, cocky, arrogant,SMUT

Notes: 3 parts. it will be only three parts of "MUST be LOVE".

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—MUST be LOVE —

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the fact that your friend forced you to this party, where she apparently left you alone in the entire party. it doesn't justify anything you did.

well maybe?

You were a little crazier a month ago, you were childish, you did something bad. but not on purpose!

Never.

you really wanted to help her. because she was ashamed to confess her feelings to her college crush, you took this initial and wrote a letter to her crush. (Saying that she really likes him) but she got very angry with you,like I tried to help you? maybe it wasn't quite decent how I behaved? first of all, it was not my job to get into hers. I’ll be honest but that was in the past. now you have grown up and you will never repeat your mistake!!

Even if a month has passed since then, it's normal to grow up, you're already in your 20s, you can't be so childish anymore!

You was clearly sorry for the strange thing you did!

but that didn't give her any right to leave you alone,you were friends for many years,you were like sisters.

she came to my house, forced me to get dressed, and eventually to get in the car and bring me here! For what? to ignore me afterwards. She just told me that jungkook will be here too.

But you didn't get along with him, for a while. because of his girlfriend, he stopped spending time with you, stopped taking an interest in your life. and then somehow you lost contact in your spare time. because at college you see each other every day! but as on weekends or on days off, he was not there.

before you were always together! if he wasn't at your house, you were at his, watching movies non-stop or playing many different games. telling stories until late at night. you missed all this.

his girlfriend was very beautiful, you never saw her, because he didn't show you or introduce her to you at all. but according to him, she was a beautiful girl. Right? he always talked about her with big and sparkling eyes, maybe this was love? you didn't know because you didn't give the guys around you your time! it was pathetic and there was no point. because your first love was him. and you didn't know what your feelings are! even if you were a good girl, smart and had good grades at school, you were pathetic in love! you didn't know how to love and you didn't even know what that love is,if you never felt it of course!

you had the second glass of wine in your hand. drink nothing but wine. it sounds ridiculous, but you don't like it when someone walks past you and smells like beer, the wine is much finer to your taste. the atmosphere was unpleasant, many people moving their bodies to the rhythm of the music, drinking and smoking. and your discomfort to leave this place as soon as possible was great. just like a sight that caught your eye made you give it up.

jungkook’s friend Taehyung was here, maybe you like him a little.but as a friend,he was a handsome, attractive, smart boy. but he was jungkook's best friend. you knew it would never work

the boy was nice. but they were both friends, and you had something for both of them, jungkook was your first love.your first crush, since you met him in the fifth grade. he was the new kid in town, and he transferred directly to our school. his parents were rich, they could send him to a well-paid school and a higher one. but he was at your school like any other child. at first you thought he was arrogant when you saw that he wasn't even at school on his first day and he already beat two children, later you found out that he protected his sister from those boys. you started watching that cute boy with big and bright eyes every hour at school, his smile reminded you a lot of a bunny. He was soo cute.

later his sister approached you and you started getting to know each other, she was two years younger than you. but that didn't stop you from becoming friends. you were at her house as often as possible, because she loved you a lot. your mother immediately became friends with her mother and after that you stayed with her or her family with you. you saw jungkook more often, and she told you a lot about her brother.

you don't know how this happened but suddenly you and jungkook became good friends. but it happened. you didn't know about him but you liked him a lot, but after spending a lot of time with him, you realized that what you are doing is wrong. he saw you as a good friend and that's it. and after that you buried all your feelings for him. what you were doing was wrong, it was wrong. even if nobody knew that. it was in your heart your imaginations with him your feelings your thoughts about him.

All

you even tried your relationship with taehyung, but it didn’t work. it didn't feel right, it wasn't right what you were doing! maybe you wanted to make jungkook jealous. but you were wrong, he saw you as a friend and that's it. and that you used Tae for that was even more wrong. you felt miserable, that was clear, and then you told Tae that you didn't feel anything for him. that you really tried to love him but it didn’t work. you didn't really suffer because of jungkook, but still his absence was felt.

“Y/n what a surprise, you're here too?”

Oh tae oh

“Yeah I was thinking of leaving. As you can see, I was kind of abandoned.”

I'm really thinking of leaving. but he saw me, so there is no escape. he would never let me go home alone. even if our relationship ended well. we had nothing to talk about. it was uncomfortable and strange, like two exes talking like friends.

“You can always join us, I lost a bet and I have to buy the drinks all night”

"Join us?“

I didn't even realize that the words came out of my mouth, I thought he came alone but he turns around and shows me a table where there were several people . he was also among them, my best friend. Jungkook! maybe i should go home?

but before I have the chance to turn around and leave, he takes me by the shoulders, the drinks on his another hand,and we make our way to the others.

his touch was not uncomfortable, on the contrary, it made me feel less stressed. he was always a sweet boy.

when we reach them, jungkook's eyes are immediately on me. do i look as if I did something bad? is my outfit to blame? but I look decent, my dress is black, up to my thighs I have my favorite pair of boots, and because it's a little colder outside I had my brown coat in my hand.

something changes on his face, he stands up to call me to him. when I get close to him, he takes me in his arms. maybe he missed me like I missed him? and he forces me to sit on the chair next to him.

"did you come alone Y/n?“

in order to be able to whisper softly in my ear, he had to get very close to me. his hand puts a strand behind my ear and he looks me in the eyes with a smile. Was he flirting with me rn?

"No, i came with your sister,but i kinda lost her“

shy I said, looking back into his eyes,he was too close!!! I could feel his fresh minty breath with a little bit of beer on my face. he had been drinking. He is drunk!

it was boring, and late. were they playing truth or dare? and jungkook watched me all night.

"You wanna dance?“

He suddenly asked me.

What? No!

But i answer anyway.

"Okay"

it was clear that he wanted to escape from the crowd, so my hand is pulled by him somewhere secluded. I don't know where the road led, but it seemed to me that it was an upper room.

"Jungkook where are we going?” I'm starting to panic because he's never done this! to take my hand, to come close to me, to filter with me.

"Shhh you'll see"

he was drunk. that was obvious, but why did I let myself be carried away by him? I was stupid, he always gave me false signals, and like a fool I got my hopes up.

he was a boy who, when I told him I needed him, was there. but not for what I really needed! he saw my wounds on the outside, but not the inside ones.

he always broke me into pieces, but he was still the check that held me together. he made me smile, gave me comfort and liked me as I was, childish. I was a child spoiled by my family and when I had to live alone he was there to be my friend, my mother, my father. he was my family. but I consider him the man of my heart, I have loved him since childhood and still could not forget him.

"Y/n go inside!”

“Hmm?”

I didn't even realize when I got to my destination, and jungkook doesn't let me answer, he pushes me inside. he sticks me to the door and slowly approaches me. "Y/n I really want to fuck you"

My eyes widened.

I was shocked!

" you what?”

I couldn't process his words!! he was drunk right? he was not aware of what he is saying!

"I really like you! I've always imagined what it's like to make love to you….. I always imagined you under me! in your bedroom in my bed! always."

if I say I have no words, will you still believe me?

“since when do you have these thoughts about me?”

I couldn't help but ask this!I wanted to know when. this phase has begun!

“when you turned 18, at first I couldn't realize what was happening to me! I thought I was crazy. How can you like your best friend? how can you think such a thing about her? I asked myself every day but the thought of you made me feel good"

he pauses, looks into my eyes and presses his body tighter into mine. and then he continues...

" and then i couldn’t live without seeing Y/n for a day.I was thinking about you, I want you. not for a day nor for a month forever!”

“Jungkook i- we’re best friends?”

but I no longer considered him my friend for so many years, I was in love with him!

But I don't know what I want now. the boy I've liked for so many years, who is apparently my best friend, is he confessing his feelings to me? no his desires more said!

“Fuck this friendship Y/n i want you,for me you’re mine! I tried to distance myself from you, I thought I could forget you but I can't!”

"You have a girlfriend!”

I tried not to fixate on his words. even though I felt my stomach do a flip when he said I was his, I had to be realistic he has a girlfriend!

he takes me by surprise when his lips make contact with mine. he's aggressive and possessive with his movements. his hands are creeping around my waist, his lips are soft and a little sour from the beer. the first time when the smell of beer didn't bother me, it got me drunk too.but this is wrong!

I try to distract him so that he stop ” Jungkook stop! you have a girlfriend!"

“I don’t have a girlfriend. I lied to you Y/n!”

What he doesn’t?

“Why?”

“because I really wanted to forget you! I really wanted to start a relationship with that girl but it didn't work! you were always in my thoughts! I was jealous of you when you went out with Tae! I was jealous that's why I told you I had a girlfriend. but after Tae told me that there was nothing between you, that you doesn't like him.”

“Then why didn’t you tell me?”

“Y/n i’m too drunk to explain now”

he laughed and looked into my eyes for a few seconds before putting his head on my neck and leaving soft kisses. up to my jaw and up to my lips. he was kissing me slowly and gently, I couldn't believe that he was kissing me! is it a dream if it really is then I never want to wake up!

he kissed my neck, feeling how his teeth bit a potion from my neck, I hissed.

but he was quick to kiss the bite he made and lick the place. he continues like this down to the chest, his hands grasp my thighs from the back, lifting me up and placing me on the bed. I was drunk in his smell, in his kisses. everything about him was addicting. he takes the dress off my body and leaves me only in my underwear. it happens quickly, but in his head everything is written well, until he kisses the space between my breasts. until he took them in his hands. it covers them so well that a moan from my mouth is heard.

he arches my back so he can open the bra staples and takes it off. his mouth quickly catches my right nipple in his mouth. he sucks it, bites it, and plays with it, doing the same with the other one. I feel my private part pulsing for more, he goes down with kisses from the stomach to the thighs, his head is in my private part of the body, he kisses my inner thigh and puts the panties aside. I feel his breath on my clit and his finger makes contact with my pussy. One finger and then he adds one more, his mouth plays with my clit. Moans can be heard from my mouth. My heavy breathing, moans and heartbeats could be heard throughout the room. he removes his fingers from my hole and replaces them with his tongue, my hands cling to his hair, and I arch my back because of the sensation and how good he makes me feel!

"Y/n you taste heavenly baby”

“ jungkook i’m -g -going to come ahmm”

but before I came he stopped. frustrated that he is doing this.but he takes off his shirt and pants, his chest was well worked, his abs were well defined and that made me touch them, and that's what I did. he was so handsome. he looks divine and his smell intoxicates me. I quickly change positions and now I'm on top of him. he just smirked. and I kiss him with great passion, he is not the only one who imagined me under him, I did the same! I always wondered how would his dick feel inside me? how would he make love to me? I kiss his neck leaving a few marks on him and go down to his abdomen, I kiss him slowly, but before I reach lower, he leaves me on my back and stands on top of me.

“Y/n I want you. I want to fuck you all night raw, and then make love to you slowly and deeply.”

“Jungkook i want you too”

he takes off our underwear for both of us and positions himself at my entrance. I'm afraid, because it's the first time. and I didn't know how to tell him.

but with all the shame, I put my hands on my face, until he entered me and I told him..

“Jungkook i’m still a virgin.”

he stops what he was going to do and looks at me with soft eyes.

“Its okay my baby I'm going to take you slowly at first, but then, I'm going to fuck you raw. understand?

“Jungkook hmm”

before I could answer his cock was already inside me, he pushed himself gently inside me,all of him.it was painful but also pleasant. the pain was immense but he didn't move so that I could settle down, he kissed me on the forehead and on the lips, he gently pushed into my entrance and a wave of pleasure took control over me. and I tell him that he can move faster. he pushes himself so hard in me that he hits my g-spot countless times. it feels so good that I moan his name many times.

to make it even more intense, he takes my leg and puts it on his shoulder, that's how I feel it even deeper inside me, up to my stomach, it makes me feel so good. he thrusts into me a few more times and I come and tighten my walls around him and he releases in me with a long groan.

“Y/n i fucking love you”

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. — MUST be LOVE —

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End part 1

It will continue

[cielphantxmhive]

✧. ┊  𝗪𝗛𝗘𝗡 𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗬 𝗣𝗟𝗔𝗬 𝗩𝗜𝗗𝗘𝗢 𝗚𝗔𝗠𝗘𝗦 𝗪𝗜𝗧𝗛 𝗬𝗢𝗨 !!

IDOLiSH7 : Iori, Yamato, Tamaki, Sogo, Mitsuki, Nagi, Riku × gn!reader

𝗪𝗔𝗧𝗧𝗣𝗔𝗗 𝗥𝗘𝗣𝗢𝗦𝗧 !!

• well...

☆ 𝖎𝖔𝖗𝖎

• he didn't want to play, not at all

• he doesn't really find video games fun

• but then you showed him some cute Sanrio game......

• he pretends he hates it, but the next day, when you entered the game, you realized some things were different and he had secretly played

• he will never admit he did though

☆ 𝖞𝖆𝖒𝖆𝖙𝖔

• its not like he's a fan of games, but sure, if he doesn't have anything better to do

• why not

• he prefers some casual games, not stressful ones because he already has tons of things to stress about

• but when he drinks, he sure wants to play and gets super competitive, also wins a lot somehow

☆ 𝖙𝖆𝖒𝖆𝖐𝖎

• yes, just yes

• Tamaki loves video games, he would absolutely play with you

• he enjoys all kinds of games, as long as they're not very complicated

• "The loser has to buy the winner candy!"

• he's competitive, and will sulk everytime he loses a round

• because of that, he prefers playing games he's already good at

• he also really loves dancing games

☆ 𝖘𝖔𝖌𝖔

• he was not very keen on the idea, but since you wanted to so bad... he couldn't say no

• he has this hostility towards video games because when they need to work, or get something done, Tamaki will just play video games

• his favorite games are psychological, murder mystery and puzzle games

• he's quite good at them

• headcanon he has those mobile games where you need to organize things

• he's not at all competitive

• he also enjoys some music based games, if it matches his taste

• he instantly agrees to play

☆ 𝖒𝖎𝖙𝖘𝖚𝖐𝖎

• he would like any kind of games

• he is AMAZING at Taiko no Tatsujin, just like Nagi, so if you wanna play, he'll be very excited but you'll surely lose

• he also enjoys games such as Mario Kart

• he's competitive, but not the type to get mad or sad if he loses, he'll just say it was a good, fair game

• aside from playing at home, he enjoys going to arcades as well

☆ 𝖓𝖆𝖌𝖎

• yes, just yes

• he will play ANY video games with you, as many as you wanted

• just like Mitsuki, he's amazing at Taiko no Tatsujin, but if you played together, he would let you win a couple of times

• he enjoys most rhythm games, whether mobile, arcade, on a console or in a computer

• he also loves games that are anime styled or even based on anime series

• headcanon he cried A LOT like A LOT when the Madoka Magica game got taken down

• he also might play some anime dating sims

• another headcanon is that he installed Doki Doki Literature Club because he thought it was a cute game and didn't sleep for weeks

☆ 𝖗𝖎𝖐𝖚

• sure! if it makes you happy, Riku will gladly play video games with you!

• you once got so competitive at Mario Kart he had a asthma attack <3

• he's so cute like a puppy

• he enjoys most types of games, he won't play violent games though

• I just know he loves Animal Crossing

• if you win, he will cheer on you, if you lose, he will comfort you, and if it's a tie, he will say it was a nice and fair game