#i never know what to do in these situations ive never felt outed in quite this way before

[mgsdelta]

ever just been filled with murderous AND suicidal intent?

[midday-clouds]

Yandere Batfamily x Neglected & "Immortal" Reader 》 II

Part I Part III Part IV Part V

Thank you so much for the love for the first one! 💞 There are so many ways I can imagine how this story can go and it's hard to pick one or try merging all the ideas. Nonetheless, I hope this meets your expectations!

CW: Stalking, Breaking and entering, Violence(Being stabbed, beating up a thief), Blood, (Menstion of past) Kidnapping

You had officially moved into your apartment in Bludhaven

Everything has moved so quickly and now you can finally relax

You gave up connecting with your family, got kidnapped, died, came back to life and moved out

It may be a bit much to pick the farthest college from the manor but you’re clearly unwanted there

Your family has neglected you and didn't do anything when you were kidnapped, so you have every right to be as far away from them as possible

It was honestly quite lucky that you were already accepted into a college in Bludhaven during your senior year. If you had applied after your kidnapping, the chances of you getting in would have been low.

But you’re here now and can finally feel happy. Well, if you don't count some of the nightmares you get from when you “died”.

Sometimes you do wonder how you survived that gunshot. Were you not hit somewhere vital? But then, where was the hole?

A part of you was curious and wanted to replicate the injury but that would be painful. You surviving the gunshot also could have been a one-time thing

You never ended up going to the police or the hospital because what were they going to do? You don’t have any proof that it even happened because your injury is gone, the blood left at the abandoned building is likely dried up and doesn’t look fresh, and Bruce probably threw away the ransom letter. 

The only proof you have that it even happened is your memories and you telling your friends. But the police or doctors would just look at you and say “You look fine now, no need to look into the situation anymore.” 

But enough about that though, you’ve got a few more hours before it gets dark and you want to get to know about the area.

It is still the middle of summer so your college classes haven't started yet. You could have waited until class started to move but you wanted to be out before Alfred returned from his vacation.

Alfred was the closest thing to family in the manor. But he and Bruce have never felt like safe adults to share your problems with. 

He should be back from his vacation now, has he found out about your kidnapping or did Bruce cover it up? He probably did to avoid getting news out. You should probably look into how you can change your surname.

Just as you finish your thoughts about the manor, you use your laptop to find interesting places in the area before heading out the door with directions in a notebook

Bruce and the rest of the family may know where you are currently, but bringing you back home was the hard part. Alfred had to convince Bruce that if he wanted you back, he shouldn’t just barge in all of a sudden. 

You’ve been hurt by the family's actions and won't return without a fight. 

But even then, Bruce has to see you. The entire family needs to see you with their own eyes at least once.

With this in mind, the whole family decides to take a small road trip to Bludhaven. They’d find you and figure out the best way to approach you without scaring you off. 

It was almost sundown when the family got to Bludhaven. They change into their vigilante gear so it’d be easier to hide in the shadows

Tim loads up the tracker on your phone and leads the way. It seems the tracker you have isn't the best because once the family gets close to your apartment, your phone just says your laptop is nearby instead of its exact location. 

No problem though, Tim can easily hack into the computer system for the apartment and find which room is yours.

Once your room is found, the family takes a peek inside. You’re nowhere to be found, which is a little worrying.

The locks on your windows are broken as the family opens them and sneaks inside. Your living room and kitchen are littered with boxes but that’s it. They each take a look around to find you but come out empty-handed. If you were here, they may do exactly what Alfred discouraged and just take you home. However, because you aren’t home, the only other place you could be is outside. Where it’s dark out and you’re alone.

Worried for your safety, the family immediately goes on another search for your

Because you could be anywhere, the family decides to split up to find you

You look around as you walk back to your apartment, a few small bags of food and snacks in your hands. Because it’s getting dark, you do begin to pick up the pace. You’re so focused on not getting home that you don’t notice when a person peeks over at you from a rooftop.

You’re just about to pass a convenience store when someone runs out and knocks into you. The person curses as they quickly get up and reach for their bag of stolen goods. Filled with adrenaline, the thief takes out a knife and stabs you. They were aiming to kill you so there weren’t any witnesses but ended up putting the knife in your shoulder. As the thief makes a run for it, a certain vigilante quickly blocks their path

Nightwing goes full force on the thief. How dare they hurt his baby bird. He refuses to make the same mistake of leaving you alone and hurt.

Your heart is racing as you attempt to pull the knife out of your shoulder. Your eyelids feel weak but you refuse to fall asleep. Unlike before, you aren’t restrained and can still escape.

You pull the knife out and let it fall on the ground next to you. After a few breaths, you do your best to stand up. You take a small glance at Nightwing before quickly running back to your apartment. 

Once inside, you almost collapse on the floor but try to get your first aid kit.

Your bandaging may not be that good but the best but it’s enough for you to feel comfortable sleeping for the night

Nightwing got a few swings in before he heard the sound of something falling onto the ground

He looks up to see that you've pulled the knife out of you and about to stand up

Before Nightwing could help you, his opponent throws a punch while he was distracted.

The vigilante shifts his attention to the thief when you suddenly make an escape. Night wing attempts to call out to you but it appears you didn't notice.

He sighs as he handcuffs the thief. This guy was such a hassle that Nightwing almost forgot why he was in such a hurry to wrap up the whole situation

The vigilante turns to where you were but only finds a bloodied knife and the bags you left behind. He carefully picks up the bags and knife while he considers where you have gone.

Spotting a trail of blood, Nightwing quickly follows it, contacting the rest of the family as well

The family gathers at the same spot near your apartment and finds you sleeping in your bed. Wanting to help you, Nightwing comes up with an idea

You lay on your bed, waiting for sleep to consume you when a knock comes from your door. You try to ignore it but the knocking continues. The only thing that gets you up is the realization that the knocking is too loud to be from your door. Opening your eyes, you realize that someone is at your window. 

Getting up, you pick up your pepper spray as you slowly walk towards the window. You have your curtains closed so you try to peek past them to see who is there

Who you see is Nightwing and it gets you worried. Does he think you were involved with that other person? He must have seen that the thief stabbed you at least

Not wanting to make the vigilant wait, you open your window slightly. Only enough so you can hear what Nightwing has to say

Nightwing happily greets you and shows you the bag of items that you left behind when leaving the scene.

Surprised, you thank Nightwing and open the window. Making sure to not open the window more than necessary, just enough to collect the bags

Just as you reach for it, the vigilante points out your bandaged shoulder. He goes on to say the importance of properly handling injuries and offers to rebandage your arm.

It takes you a couple of moments before you agree to his help.

Like a big brother, he sits you down and redoes the bandages. Honestly, it makes you wish your actual big brothers would care for you in this way. Even though one of them is right in front of you

Once your shoulder has properly been bandaged, you thank Nightwing for his help. He offers to stay the night but you tell him that you’d be fine. Plus, doesn’t he still have to take care of Bludhaven

You make sure to close and lock your window once Nightwing leaves before going back to bed.  As sleep consumes you, your whole family watches from a distance. You didn’t seem to recognize Dick as Nightwing so it may be possible to get you to trust them before taking you home

[msfantasy-anime]

A Visit From Dear Ole Dad

Monkey D. Luffy x Reader

Summary: Your dad visits Marine!Reader to talk

A/n: rushed ending but shrug

Series Masterlist

Part IV

“Mrs. Monkey.” A teasing gravely voice calls out.

Standing at the bow of the ship, you turn around to see your father standing just behind you. His bright red hair and sunny smile beaming at you.

"Dad!" You call out excitedly. Shoving your tea cup into the nearest officers hands as you launch yourself into the arms of your father. His big arms wrapping around your form as he begins to spin you in circles as you giggle like a young girl again.

He finally places you down, “How’s it going little trouble maker?” He asks ruffling up your hair.

“Me? If anyone’s the trouble maker— it’s you!” You accuse back, all whilst Shanks throws his head back in laughter.

The ship seems to grow quieter at the unexpected visitor. Soon all you hear is the ocean waves lapping against the vessel as the crew shuffle silently behind the figure of your dad. All attempting to catch glimpses of him, but he pays no mind to the watchful eyes only looking upon your face instead.

“No more than usual— but you?” He says, raising his brow, “Imagine my surprise when I catch word about my little girl messing around with another marine.” He says, crossing his arms over his chest. “Now I don’t like getting involved with you two but you better set the record straight before Luffy hears anything— aren’t you two married or did I miss something?” He lectures, making you shrink under his scrutinising gaze. “Even if it’s another one of your schemes, you know how Luffy feels about those tricky tactics of yours.”

“Might’ve …” you spoke hesitantly. “Told a small fib here and there to get out of a situation…” you mutter, twisting your fingers around your coat. “But it’s not true! Luffy knows I would never.”

Shanks couldn’t help but huff a sigh. “Kid— It might not be my place. But I think it’s time I finally had a heart to heart with you.” Shanks says, looking you deep in your eyes, making sure you’re listening. “How much longer are you going to play marine.” He says as you raise a brow at this. 

“Dad, it’s not like that. I want to be a marine.” You defend, but Shank doesn’t hesitate.

“Is it though?” He asks, making you falter, “I don’t know exactly where this dream of becoming a marine came from but I just wanna make sure that my little girl won’t make any decisions that she regrets in life. Even though you two love each other, love isn’t enough to keep you together. There will come a day that you will have to choose between your job and him and I don’t think you can live with that decision.” Shank says grabbing your shoulders. “So I’m asking you again, why do you wanna be a marine?”

Maybe it was the sincerity in his eyes, or the sorrowful look he’s giving you, or perhaps it was your own admission back that make your heart ache.

“I don’t know.” You answer back, your voice trembly as you painfully admit you’re unsure. It’s a terrifying notion to admit. For years you prattled on about becoming a marine as the boys prattled on about becoming a pirate king. You’ve made becoming a marine your whole personality and without that title you don’t really know who you are. Truth be told that thought sat in the back of your mind for quite a long time now; having become a marine and achieving such an esteemed title only trapped you further. To finally admit out loud that you’re not sure if the years of dedication to your craft was even worth it. Being a rear admiral almost felt like nothing, it feels like it should be a title you ought to be proud of having. “I was so angry when you left me on the island dad.” You say, meeting his gaze.

“I’m sorry darling you know if I had any other way then I would—“

“That’s not what I’m saying. I’m not angry at you. I was angry at the situation.” You said, a tear spilling over the edge of your eyes. “I’m grateful that I got to have the childhood I did. Growing up with Ace, Sabo, and especially Luffy, was more than I could ever ask for.” You say, Shanks whipping away your tear. “I was angry that the Marines kept you away from me. I was even more angry when Ace told us about the world government issued an execution order when he was a fetus. The world wanted him dead before he was even born.” You said, your brows crossing. “And the idea cemented in my head when I watched the Marines just stand there when that celestial dragon launched a bomb at Sabo.”

Shanks just stood there for a moment mulling over your words. “Darling, if I had to be quite honest with you, I don’t believe being a marine is your dream.” in the words rattled your mind. “Say you achieved the highest rank as a marine. Would you feel complete and happy in the end?” You just stood there, your mouth left a-gape.

“I-“

“Say you go on countless adventures with that husband of yours, would you have regrets leaving the marines behind?” He asks, and something in his eyes compelled the honest truth from you.

“No.”

And with that admission, Shank smiles ever so slightly.

But you couldn’t even focus on that as you saw a hoards of your crew gathering behind your father. “Rear Admiral— we thank you for all your years of service but we think it’s time that you follow your own dreams as you have helped us follow ours.” One of the officers shout as the crowd begins to hold back their tears.

“Thanks to you. We understand the vision that you had for the Marines and we will do our best to carry out.” Your Lieutenant announces. “ Will leave for your name and document so they never even know that you’ve left—“

“No—“ you say firmly. “Tell Akainu the truth. That I’ve abandoned post to join my husband- as a straw hat pirate!”







Tag list: @rainbowcreepie

[princessmaeee]

{ All for Us } PART V Part I Part II Part III Part IV

A/N : This part is way shorter than the others cause I didn't had ideas, honestly. It's sort of the boring part. The next one will probably be the last. Showing the life For reader and Thanos after the game, them as couple and with the baby situation. Maybe I gonna do an extra part for how life's going for them WITH the baby. I gonna see. i Still hope you gonna enjoy this ! :)

Taglist : @private-vampire @rafesbunniebby @ultracoolnobody @chxrrybomb22

When you came back to the main room,you and Su-bong were holding hands. You should thank nam-gyu for this since he was probably the one who told Thanos about your pregnancy. But if he hadn't done it, who knows where you two would have been. You had the conversation you needed and you felt like a big weight had been removed from you. Of course you didn’t discuss everything you would like to about your relationship, you didn’t forgive Su-bong for cheating on you, but with work and time, maybe things could go for the best. You were about to go to your bed when your boyfriend stopped you.

«-Where do you think you’re going ? -In my bed ? I'm tired after … that »

Thanos Smiled as your cheeks go red. You still can’t believe you did that kind of thing in a public place. You were lucky that no one entered.

«-You gonna sleep with me. We just have to put two beds together. -I don’t think it’s a good Idea. Nam-Gyu didn’t seem to like me. -And ? Who cares about that, if he doesn't want you there he can go find another place to sleep.»

You smiled and agreed to follow Su Bong to his little group. You felt some relief when you noticed the girl who was on the team with you during the last game. At least you will not be with only a bunch of dumb guys. When you passed next to Nam Gyu, you gave him a sarcastic smile before showing him your middle finger. He grunt and do the same. As Thanos places two mattresses close to each other, You sit down in the stairs, next to Semi. Once the lights were Off, you fell asleep really quickly in Thanos arms. You were exhausted from your day, the stress, the emotions and of course because of what happened with Su-bong. You woke up in the middle of the night, when You didn’t feel Thanos anymore. You turned around and noticed he wasn’t there, but his place was still warm. You could hear his voice from afar as he talked with Nam-Gyu.

«-After the next game, we should vote X, he said. -You’re serious bro ? I thought you wanted to have fun, more than shower fun.»

You didn’t see them, but you could hear the amusing Smile in Nam Gyu tone and you hated that. Why did Thanos have to talk about that to him ?

«-Yeah, but when I arrived here, I had literally nothing to lose. Even my life wasn’t worth anymore. But now, I have more reasons to stay alive. I want to do better For Y/N and for the baby we will have. That’s why I will vote to leave. -And what will you do when you're gonna be out ? -I will quit drugs, first. And maybe try again in the music industry. »

Both of them stayed silent while you smiled. You were happy to hear Thanos say He will quit drugs and all those cute things. It meant a Lot to you. You close your eyes, ready to go back to sleep. You opened your eyes again when Thanos came back to bed and hugged you, giving you a kiss on the forehead.

«-Will you really quit drugs ? You asked. -That’s bad to listen to others ' conversations, beautiful. -That wasn’t my intention, but you were the only sound in the room so…»

He put his chin on your head while your face was hidden in his chest.

«-I will do anything for you and the baby. I want to be a better partner for You and the best father for our Kid and that implies to quit drugs. You never asked me that, but I know it’s the right thing to do. -Yeah…you’re right. »

You smiled again. Even after what happened between the two of you, you can’t deny his effort to be better. When you first met him, he would never say that kind of thing. It wasn’t something that will cross his mind, but now, you feel like you have a different Su-bong, a better version of him. That’s how you felt asleep, peacefully in the warmth of Thanos arms, once again.

When you woke up, this time it was because of this awful music. You were about to play another game and this time, you hope it will be the last one. The guards lead you to the place and when you arrive in the big room, the place is filled with doors and a big circle in the middle. It reminds you of a carousel. You was about to take Thanos' hand when you noticed him take a pill and give one to Nam Gyu.

«-I thought You will quit that… -I will… once we get out of here. I can’t let the anxiety win. I don’t want to die, beautiful. »

You rolled your eyes and led the may in the middle of the room, going on the platform as the game was explained. You remembered when you were a kid, you played a game like this one at school, but instead of going into another room, you had to find a chair when the music ended. The platform started to move and a childish music started to play. You grip your boyfriend’s sweater and notice he seems to have fun, dancing to the annoying music, until the platform stops. The number 4 came out and Thanos quickly took your hand to go into an empty room. Nam Gyu followed and another dude I don’t know. The room locked itself and when the countdown was over, the pink guard killed the other who stayed outside. The whole game was so stressful, except for the two idiots next to you. They were definitely too high to notice how scared and stressed you were. When they call ten people, you got Semi’s hand and go to a room with her and Min-Su. Thanos and Nam Gyu followed behind you, grabbing people to put them in the room with the rest. The last round was the worst. They called two and when you turned around to find Thanos, you didn’t see him. It seemed like he just disappeared. Semi was the one to take your hand this time and bring you into a room.

«-Thanks… I was somewhere else, you said. -Yeah, I guessed. You taught Thanos would take you ? -Yeah… I hope He found a room. -No worries, I saw his other friend. The dude with shaking hands grabs him before you turn around. So I guess they’re together. »

You cursed Nam Gyu in your head. You were sure he did it on purpose since he seems to hate you. When the door unlocked and you fet out of the room, you started to look for Su-Bong, but you didn’t noticed him, until you heard his voice calling your name.

«-Y/N ! »

When you turned around, he was already hugging you tight.

«-I’m sorry, i wanted to be with you but when I realised it, I was with Nam Gyu. -It’s fine, I’m just glad you are alive… it happened so fast… Semi helped me by bringing me with her. »

Thanos looked at her and smiled before he thanked her. When you got back in the main room, you had to vote again, but this time every member of the Thanos team voted to go home, even Nam Gyu. He didn’t seem happy about it, but I followed everything Thanos said. Semi already wanted to vote to leave and Min Su just followed everyone's lead. The amount of people who wanted to leave was higher than the people who wanted to stay. I felt so happy to finally be able to go home and I started crying in Thanos arms.

«-We’re going home baby »

[icallhimjoey]

eddie?! 👀 did you say EDDIE?!?! 👀👀👀👀

i DID say eddie! i had a tiny idea that fit the version of eddie ive written before (and the only version of eddie ive written before) and so... here we are. i am: so sorry. Wordcount: 6.6K

---

Let’s Go Home

(find all other parts of this story here)

“Let’s go get him.”

You sound very determined for someone completely unsure of how to handle the situation. It’s difficult to watch someone so deeply unhappy struggle with parts of their past they can’t seem to get a grip on.

“I… what?” two wet, red-rimmed eyes stare back at you. Confused. A little annoyed.

“Yea. Come on. Let’s go. We’re packing our bags and we’re going to go pick him up and bring him back here.”

Eddie doesn’t get it. Frowns, entirely unsure of who you’re talking about.

“Steve’s already here… and Wayne is coming here for Christmas, we don’t need to–…” he looks so tired.

“I know we don’t need to.”

It always happened when the days got a little shorter. When the nights got colder and Christmas loomed. When happy, wholesome family moments would be advertised all over the world, and it all became glaringly obvious – once again – how that was something Eddie never got to be a part of when he was little. Not until Wayne took him in and tried his best to make the holidays special in his own way.

No matter how hard Wayne tried, though, the bitter aftertaste of abandonment and loneliness was impossible to get rid of.

Eddie would never admit this to Wayne, but celebrating Christmas just the two of them felt just as pathetic and lonely as it had done when he lived with his parents still.

Different.

Definitely not as traumatizing, which was good.

But still dreary, and sad, with a lot of playing pretend that he was okay and happy and fine.

He was never okay and happy and fine.

Still isn’t okay and happy and fine.

That’s not Wayne’s fault, Eddie knows, and he feels like a shitty person because Wayne always tried his best. Did what he could. It just never quite worked.

Christmas would roll around, and Eddie would get depressed.

That’s just what happened.

Eddie would slip into sadness, scary thoughts intruding happy places they weren’t allowed to settle into, but he’d not yet learnt how to tell them to fuck off. To leave him alone. Didn’t know how to get the uninvited guests out of his house, and felt powerless as he watched them settle into his living room. Nothing he could do about it.

Somber, pensive moments would slowly stretch until they covered most of the day. Mornings were the happiest, still. He’d wake up after falling asleep eventually, never managing to slip into dreams before 3 AM, and for a moment, he’d forget. The short amount of sleep would have him tired enough to not remember the reality of his life for a second, and in those moments, it would just be you in bed with him and that would be the only thing in existence.

It’s awful to feel reality set into someone’s body mid-hug.

You wish you knew how to keep it out.

Over the years Eddie had learnt he had to vocalize his feelings. His thoughts. Knew that a burden shared was a burden halved, but knowing things in theory didn’t make them easier in practice.

“What can I do? Let me help.” You’d whisper, and Eddie was lucky you’d known each other for so long. There were no worried questions of are you okay, or a concerned soft hey what’s wrong.

You know he’s not okay, and you know what’s wrong.

“You, here. That’s all you need to do.” Eddie would murmur and he’d pull you in to hold you for a short while. And sometimes, that would temporarily fix him.

There is part of Eddie that honestly thinks if he doesn’t think about it, that it’ll be okay.

If he ignores it for long enough, it might go away by itself.

He’s lucky that sometimes, it does.

He pretends that the foundation of shit that he’d been given for his life hasn’t got all the cracks in. The house he has tried to build on top might shake a bit in the wind, but he can convince himself that the strong support beams that have been put in place will make sure the whole thing doesn’t collapse.

But it’s getting closer and closer to Christmas, and he’s sinking deeper and deeper into everything that’s dark, and cold, and uncomfortable, and painful, and scary.

Everything is designed to make people feel happy around this time of year, and he’s in LA where the sun shines all year long and it doesn’t even really get cold at all. Not like it gets cold in Hawkins. The days don’t really get that much shorter, and he can go outside in a T-shirt and be fine. But maybe that’s precisely the problem right now; there’s no quick get inside the house, and no let me warm your hands up for you.

The comfort of a frozen nose that get nuzzled back to life is unattainable in LA.

“Can you go to another meeting? Would that help, do you think?” you silently ask him one evening, hidden under the covers and too tired to stay awake for much longer, even though you know Eddie’s wide awake next to you. He’ll toss and turn for a couple more hours after you’ve drifted off.

“Yea, of course. I should.” Eddie is quick to reply, but you know he doesn’t want to.

Talking about his addiction with strangers when he’s trying his best to pretend it’s not there will just make things worse, he thinks. Logically, he knows it probably won’t, but there’s always that fear.

“Can I join you?”

You feel how Eddie shifts in bed, probably to take a look at you, but your eyes are closed and you’re about to fall asleep. This isn’t the time to fall into a conversation in which he asks you why on earth you would want to hear a lot of people you don’t know talk about a lot of drastic measures you don’t need to know people let themselves be pushed to sometimes.

So instead, you feel a kiss press to your temple, and he whispers, “Sure you can.”

At first, Eddie doesn’t say much in the meeting you join him for. You mostly listen to issues other people bring forward, and try to think of things you’d do if Eddie was the person speaking. If he was the one with all of those problems. How would you help?

How would you fix it?

When a kind, soft-spoken voice asks if there’s anyone new who wants to share, a lot of eyes fall on you, and you shift in your seat. Sit up a little. Feel Eddie squeeze your hand in his which could have meant, it’s okay, you can tell people why you’re here, but instead it means, I got this.

Eddie talks.

Tells everyone about how he feels like he’s deep in a depression and that he doesn’t really know how to get out of the dark pit he’s fallen into.

How it feels like he’s five years old and stuck in a small dark room, and he’s feeling all over the walls but can’t locate the light switch, and the longer he’s looking, the more he starts feeling claustrophobic in there.

You make the mistake of asking him if he can call out for help.

“Have you tried asking? Maybe someone else can turn the light on for you…”

Eddie breaks down, elbows on his knees, face hidden from the group as he looks at the wooden floor boards through his tears.

It’s not your fault.

Eddie doesn’t expect you to understand the feeling of being so utterly helpless and alone that he knows there’s no use in even trying to call for help.

No one would’ve answered.

You scoot your seat closer to his, and lean into his side as you wrap an arm around his back, fingers curling around his shoulder. It’s nice. He needs it. He also knows there’s thirteen pairs of eyes on him and he doesn’t know how to tell you that no matter how hard you’ll try, you won’t be able to actually fix anything.

“Let me turn the light on. Let Steve, or let Wayne– Robin… we can all help turn the light on. We’ll fly Wayne out, Robin too, and anyone else that you want. They can all move in, we have the space for it. Just… please, let us turn the light on, Eddie…”

It’s the fucking sweetest thing he’s ever heard, but he can reach for the light himself now. He can find it in the dark, and he can turn it on. The problem is that it doesn’t make a fucking difference.

Turning a light on now doesn’t change anything about his past.

Eddie gets asked if he has anything more to share. He sniffs and wipes his face with both his hands before he sits up and leans back and says, “Thank you, but um, no. I don’t. It’s this time of year, I guess. I know it’ll pass.”

You hold hands, fingers intertwined, as you listen to everyone else share more of their own personal issues, and when you leave Eddie puts his arm around you and pulls you close to kiss the side of your face. He tells you that he loves you, that he’s glad that he came, and he thanks you for coming with him.

You can see in his eyes that none of it helped.

Eddie lets himself sink deeper and all you can really do is be there for him. Be there when he wakes up and be there when he goes to sleep. You give him the gift of routine. Of healthy meals. Of pleasant walks outside. Long showers after.

It helps.

But it doesn’t fix anything.

You try your best at damage control. Talk to Steve. Call Wayne a lot.

And it helps.

But about two weeks later, Eddie starts isolating.

He had never isolated before.

Not like this.

He’s in his home studio, hyperfocussing on four seconds of a song he’s working on, and when you interrupt to tell him you’re going to go to bed, he says he’ll come up in a minute. He just needs to figure this bit out. “I’m so close, I can taste it.” Eddie smiles a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes, and for a moment you think Eddie’s going to let you listen to his work in progress. He always asks for your opinion, but this time he doesn’t. He just looks at you with a smile that’s just there for reassurance until you leave him alone.

At 5 AM you get woken up by Steve, who softly says, “You need to come downstairs…” and leads the way for you.

“I got up to pee, and the bathroom is right above the studio…”

You find Eddie in the exact same spot, going over the exact same four seconds of music.

He looks like he’s being tortured, barely able to keep his eyes open. When you gently pry the guitar from his hands, his breathing changes, and you think if he would have had the energy to sob, he would have cried like a child.

“Let’s go to bed, Eddie.”

Eddie lets you take him upstairs, but then locks himself in the bathroom and when you ask if he can let you in, all you can hear are soft sniffles whilst the shower runs.

It’s then that you decide.

Something is different this time around.

Something deeper has bubbled up, and you know whatever you are doing here, in LA, to help him simply will not be enough.

You establish a plan and pull out two suitcases that you place onto your bed. You’re going to pack your bags and you’re going to go get him.

It’s clearly necessary.

Eddie is no longer letting you comfort him and you’re scared that the next step is going to be a relapse.

“What are you doing?”

“Let’s go get him.”

“I–… what?”

Eddie hasn’t slept, and his unwashed hair is wet from the shower he’s sat in for a while, and you’re very calmly and methodically folding clothes into a suitcase. You might as well be speaking in a different language right now.

“Yea. Come on. Let’s go. We’re packing our bags and we’re going to go pick him up and bring him back here.”

Eddie slowly moves to sit down on the bed, and he looks at what you’re doing for a moment before he sighs and softly says, “Steve’s already here… and Wayne is coming here for Christmas, we don’t need to–…”

He stops speaking when he sees your slight smile.

“I know we don’t need to.” You say and Eddie doesn’t like how you look at him with so much care in your eyes. He doesn’t think he deserves it.

Doesn’t deserve you.

“Do you want to bring both of your black hoodies?” you then ask, not giving him a chance to question what’s happening, and so he just goes, “Yea… yea, sure.” before he lets himself fall backwards onto the mattress where he shuts his eyes.

You let Eddie sleep for as long as sleep will hold him. Pack up both suitcases and let Steve help you book travel back home.

“Do you want to come?” you ask when Steve is on the phone to a travel agent. He is listening to the woman who’s reading him back information he’s just given her, so he can’t answer you, but he reaches out and holds your hand whilst you listen to him book two tickets to Indiana.

When he gets off the phone he reaches for your other hand as well and says, “I’ll watch the house.”

You give him a slight frown. “You know he’d love you to come with us… Wayne says Hawkins is covered in snow. We could watch Christmas films in the trailer… get Robin and run across Lover’s Lake again… or, call Dustin and, I don’t know, Eddie could challenge him to a snow ball fight and they could play–”

“Dustin’s 26 years old.”

“Yea...” you frown at Steve. “So?” you sound desperate.

Steve huffs a laugh as he rubs his thumbs over your hands. He grimaces a little before he says, “No offense, but… he doesn’t need us out there. Of course you’ve got to go with him, but every other person is going to be one too many.”

And Steve’s right.

The next day, Steve joins you outside as you’re about to leave. He hugs Eddie for a long time by the trunk of the car, and you know they’re softly talking to each other. You can only see Eddie’s back, and Steve’s face is hidden by all of Eddie’s curls, but suddenly you can hear Eddie laugh before he pokes Steve in the side.

You get hugged next.

Eddie doesn’t sleep on the flight. Just stares out the window and gets lost in thought. You know he’s not entirely sure of why you’re taking him back to Hawkins, but he’s also not asked about it again.

When your rental car stops in front of Wayne’s trailer, you turn the engine off and sit in silence for a moment as you both just… look at it. It’s four in the afternoon, but it’s getting dark outside already.

Forest Hills.

A surprisingly large lot of land that holds about twenty-four sporadically placed trailers; some of them neatly lined up, others facing whichever way. Wayne’s trailer was one of those ones, placed diagonally to the road, surrounded by dry grass for most of the year which was now hidden by a thick layer of snow.

Momentarily, everything about the image that you’re looking at looks like it’s 1987. Maybe 1988. You can easily envision a younger version of yourself running up to that same front door, it swinging open before you could even get up the steps, Eddie bursting through just to throw you over his shoulder and haul you inside.

“We’re here...” you break the silence, stating the obvious, and find Eddie’s hand to squeeze.

It’s a little silly, but it looks like he’s scared.

“Did you tell him we were coming?”

“Wayne?”

Eddie turns to look at you, slightly confused because, yea who the fuck else?

“Yea. I called Wayne.”

You watch how Eddie takes a breath. Watch that information settle within him.

“Do you want me to come with you?”

And Eddie does. Doesn’t want to do anything without you, ever.

But he takes a shaky breath and says, “I’ll come get you in a second.” before he opens the door and gets out of the car.

Footsteps crunch in the snow, and you watch Eddie, hands in pockets, rush up the steps to what used to be the trailer that he lived in with his uncle. The trailer that he found home in when he was about seven years old and Wayne had decided that his bedroom could actually be Eddie’s bedroom instead for a while.

A while turned into fifteen years in the blink of an eye.

You watch Eddie hug Wayne through the window. It’s another long embrace, but this one doesn’t part with boyish grins and jabbing fingers. Instead, you can see how Eddie goes limp in Wayne’s arms a little, and when he goes to pull back, Wayne just… holds on.

Just a little longer.

It feels a little wrong to be watching them like this, chin perched on the steering wheel, fingers hidden in your sleeves. It feels especially invasive when you see how when they eventually part, the first thing both men do is bring their sleeves to their faces to dry what has become wet.

Then, Eddie steps away. Slowly walks towards the room that used to be his bedroom, and he goes alone.

Good, you think.

That’s good.

Wayne didn’t understand at first, when you told him over the phone. That you were coming over for a strange, but important visit. But this was good.

It takes a while.

Your fingers start to lose their feeling a little as you wait in the car, but it’s fine. You are not the priority right now.

When Eddie eventually emerges from the trailer, you get out of the car, and wait for him to call for you. A, come on. Come inside. It’s fucking freezing out here.

Instead, you get silence. Eddie doesn’t stop walking to wave you over.

He makes his way all the way over to where you’re stood next to the car, and then, he hesitates for a moment.

Eddie can’t look you in the eye.

“Everything okay?”

You know it’s not.

“He um…” Eddie starts, voice trembling. “He’s not here.”

“What?”

Eddie moves closer to place a kiss to your temple, eyes looking away, over the top of the car, across the trailer park. “He’s not here. I didn’t find him.”

Eddie steps around you and gets into the passenger seat, and for a moment, you stand with both shoes in slush whilst you try to think of what to do next. When you look back at the trailer, you catch Wayne through he window. Gives you a smile and a wave.

For a moment you contemplate running over, up those same steps, to ask what happened inside. Maybe Wayne has answers to questions you keep asking yourself.

Before you can, Eddie roars the engine back to life.

You give Wayne a wave back from where you’re stood and round the car to get into the passenger’s seat. You can talk to Wayne later.

Back inside the car, you put your seatbelt on and look at Eddie for a moment. He’s got one hand on the steering wheel, the other on the gearshift, and he’s biting his lip as he stares into space.

“If he’s not here…” you start pensively.

“It’s quite the drive.” Eddie answers, unmoving.

“We have the time.”

“I don’t think we’d make it back here before midnight.”

“Hey,”

Eddie turns his head to look at you.

“We have time.” You repeat yourself and place your hand on the back of his head where you softly scratch your fingers into his hair. “You good to drive?”

You don’t get an answer. Instead, Eddie puts the car in reverse and starts backing out. Just before he’s about to fully leave Forest Hills Trailer Park, he stops the car, even though there’s no traffic to wait for.

“I can drive if you want me to–”

“N-no, that’s not it. I can drive, but I…”

Eddie stares. Looks at his hands and just sits in silence, going through it. Then suddenly, he takes his seatbelt off, opens his door and quickly says, “I’ll be right back.” and he runs.

Left in a car with a running engine and a wide open door, you turn in your seat to watch Eddie’s breath leave him in white clouds as he runs back to the trailer, back up the steps, back inside. You’re too far away to see in the windows now.

It only takes a minute.

When he comes back, jogs down those steps in the snow, he looks a little lighter somehow. Like running back towards the car is a little easier.

Eddie gets back in the car, and he’s all loud inhales and rough exhales, hands rubbing together because it’s cold and he just ran through the snow, but then he looks at you as he puts on his seatbelt and he smiles.

There’s tears in his eyes, but he’s smiling.

“Had to tell him it’s okay. That I’m okay.”

Somehow, Eddie is beaming and solemn at the same time, but you’re happy that something has changed a little. That he seems to get it. You sink into your seat a bit more when Eddie pulls onto the road and starts heading south.

Eddie told you once, years ago, that he used to live in a motel before he came to Hawkins. How that’s all his parents could afford, and even then, they were always fighting with the front desk about money. Always late on payments.

It was just one big room, and even though it was just him, his mother and sometimes his dad, there were always people in their room. Strangers. Friends, his mother would tell him. Sometimes she’d even tell him, this is your Uncle Frank, and Eddie would be forced to shake the hand of a man he had never seen before and would never see again.

Eddie spent a lot of his early childhood confused.

He spent a lot of his childhood hiding.

Afraid.

Alone.

He wouldn’t ever trust anyone. People told him one thing and then they would laugh together and they would do something else.

Adults were evil, and yet the world was made so that adults were the ones that had to look after him. That made the decisions. That told him, go play outside, even if rain was coming down hard, and Eddie would have no other choice but to listen. To do as he was told.

He was only a little kid.

When Eddie was seven years old, he got kicked out of the room at eight in the morning and got told to not come back until they were ‘ready for him’.

Like he knew what that meant.

No one had told him how to tell time.

Eddie didn’t go to school.

But he knew that being sent outside meant that he had to go find his own entertainment for a while, and so he did.

Eddie was seven years old when he came back around lunch time with skinned knees and grass stains in his shorts, and there was commotion.

Lots of people.

People in uniforms.

A cop car.

A kind woman who asked him if he had lost his way. If she could help him get home. Eddie had just smiled and said, no thanks, and had tried to hide in the spot where he always hid. Adults were not to be trusted, Eddie knew. No matter how kind they looked.

Eddie was seven years old when he got pulled from his safe space, his little hiding spot, kicking and screaming, and got brought over to Wayne’s trailer. He’d never been back to that motel room again. Had never even gotten close.

The sun has fully set by the time you pull up outside of an old, run down motel that looks like it should’ve been torn down ages ago. Most windows are boarded up, paint on the walls is chipping and what used to be a light-up sign has been torn down.

It’s a dump.

Just trying to imagine someone growing up here has you choking up.

Little four-year-old Eddie running around these grounds? In dirty clothes too big for his body because nobody was feeding him right? Being exposed to things no child should ever be exposed to, simply because his bedroom was also the only room they had?

Before you can let it make you cry, you hear a faint chuckle beside you.

It’s small and weak, but it’s a chuckle none the less.

“I remember this place much bigger,” he says, like it’s funny. “There’s only like… seven rooms.” Eddie counts.

You’re momentarily unsure if coming here was a good idea. If facing this reality of his past is going to be doing him any good. If it won’t just break him down even more. But then Eddie turns to look at you and says, “Come, let me show you.”

Eddie visiting the place where he spent the first few years of his life turns into him giving you a surprisingly pleasant tour of the grounds. He recounts the other people that lived there, the rooms he wasn’t allowed into. How there used to be a soda machine here, and how sometimes the older kids would ask him to get them some cans for free, because his arms were small and skinny enough to just sneak them out the bottom.

It’s easy to skim the surface of this place like this.

To make it about showing you around instead of sinking down past the layers of self-protection that would have him walking around here with wobbly legs.

Yea.

This is easier. Better.

All of the doors are locked, but it doesn’t take much more than a good shove of a shoulder for the locks to give way. For the wood of the doorframes to splinter.

“Entering the Forest Hills way.” Eddie grins, and you suppress a smile. It’s a lie. Forest Hills is full of all honest, all hard-working people. But, it’s still a trailer park, and thus, the joke is funny.

Without much care, Eddie easily manages to open every door he comes across. It’s dark everywhere you go, none of the lights work, but the streetlights out front provide you with plenty of it, and your eyes quickly adjust.

Eddie shows you the laundry. Breaks into a little back office. A supply closet. Some other motel rooms - some that had semi-permanent guests staying there too, just like he used to be one. And some that would have overnight guests that didn’t know about the draft that would make the door slam so hard, you’d lose your fingers if they got caught in between.

It’s almost joyful, how Eddie talks about his memories. He hasn’t got many, he was so young, but every time he comes across something he remembers, he seems pleasantly surprised at his brain’s ability to bring it all back to him.

But then, when you eventually stop outside room number five, he pauses.

Stops.

Stares at the doorknob.

You can feel how his entire demeanor changes, and even though it’s painful to witness, you know that this is why you came here. This is the whole reason you drove all the way out here.

Eddie takes a good, deep breath but doesn’t move otherwise. Just keeps his eyes locked on a rusty old doorknob to a locked door of a room that probably looks exactly like all the other ones Eddie had already shown you.

“Is this where you lived?” you ask, doing your best to make your voice sound as neutral as possible. You don’t want to scare him off. Don’t want to trigger something.

Eddie nods, a barely-there up and down movement of his head, and then he goes for the doorhandle, rattles it weakly.

Keeps staring at it.

“Door’s locked.” He croaks, like that had been a problem for any of the other doors.

But it does make sense.

You understand that the person who opened up all those other doors was Eddie in his thirties, showing you around.

The person staring at the doorknob now, was Eddie as a child.

Afraid to go inside, unsure of what he was going to find there.

Not strong enough.

Maybe only just tall enough to even reach.

But, you were strong.

You had witnessed how a little force had gone a long way with these locks, and after giving Eddie a second to maybe ask for help, because God, you really wanted him to realize he could just ask for help, he doesn’t ask for shit, and you decide to take matters into your own hands.

Before Eddie even registers you taking a few steps back to get a running start, the wood of the door has already split from the blow of your shoulder.

“Oh my G–” Eddie jumps, both arms reaching out to grab at you and to pull you close. He makes sure he holds you where you ran into the door, large palm cupping over the curve of your shoulder, and he rubs the skin there. Which helps, because, you’re not really hiding the fact that Jesus fuck that fucking hurt very well.  

Despite the sting, there’s a moment where you both see the humor in what just happened, and looking at each other, you both let huffs of laughter escape you.

“Are you crazy? What you do that for, huh?” Eddie pretend scolds.

You shrug, “Forest Hills way.”  

The comedic relief is so welcome, but it’s short-lived. You see from up close how Eddie’s expression drops. He goes from looking at his insane girlfriend with all the love he’s got for her spilling from his eyes, to looking over your head into the dark room where he used to live, and it all slips away.

You wait by the door.

Want Eddie to do this alone because you think it’ll be better that way.

You also truly don’t know what to do, so it feels a little safer to just… wait outside. You wouldn’t know how to help anyway.

Just like when you were outside of Wayne’s trailer, it feels a little invasive to look at Eddie as he silently takes slow steps inside and looks around. At the same time, you can’t really look away. If he’s going to break down and fall to his knees, you want to be there within a second to pick him back up.

Eddie trails slow fingers along a dresser.

Takes careful steps towards a nightstand of which he opens and then closes the drawer.

“Huh…” he comments. Looks around the full room again, sees it in different light as he stands in another corner, the lights from outside showing him different parts of the room.

He disappears into the bathroom for a moment before he steps back out, and he looks��� confused.

Surprised, maybe. A little dumbfounded.

He gives the room another glance, and then turns to find you watching him in silence.

“This is really weird,” Eddie comments, both eyebrows raised.

“Yea? How so?”

“I don’t know… it’s different. It’s not like I remember. I think… I don’t know, I think my mind made this room the most terrible place ever in the world, but it’s just… it’s just a room. There’s nothing…” Eddie twirls on the spot, “Yea, it’s just a room. Nothing’s… nothing is scary.”

You swallow audibly, and hesitate before you speak.

“It’s not scary.” Eddie concludes again before you can say anything, and he raises both shoulders at you in a long shrug, like he’s trying to convince you that it’s all right.

You’re not the one who needs convincing though.

“Is, um…” you start, and you clear your throat, entirely unsure of how Eddie is going to react to your question.

After visiting Wayne, you think he gets it now.

He gets why you took him back to Indiana.

Eddie has let his eyes fall on a weird piece of wall art he doesn’t remember, something that maybe they added to the room after his parents had been kicked out, and he’d been taken away to go live somewhere safer.

“Is he here?”

“Huh?”

“Is he in here, somewhere?”

It takes a moment of Eddie looking at you before he fully registers what you’re talking about.

His gaze drifts towards the closet next to the bathroom door.

It’s shut. Both bifold doors closed.

Eddie stalls for a moment, and then he raises an arm to open one of the doors before he drops it by his side again.

The closet’s empty.

It seemingly comes from nowhere, the way your lips suddenly quiver. How your eyes well up with tears so quickly. You have to cover your mouth with your hand to remain silent; this isn’t about you.

Eddie is slowly taking it all in, looks around the inside of the closet. The stains in the carpet. The peeling wallpaper. The mismatched hangers, a couple plastic ones amongst a couple more wire ones. And then he looks up and finds the the little yellowed piece of string that hangs down from way up high.

He reaches up and pulls it.

An audible click is heard.

Nothing changes though.

No light springs on.

Eddie pulls it again. Softly smiles. Pulls it a couple more times.

Click, click.

Click, click.

Nothing happens.

You’re about to burst with a violent sob when you see how Eddie, entirely in his own thoughts, inside of his own memories, slowly steps into the closet and closes the door behind him.

You hear the clicking of the light a couple more times, and need to step away.  

It’s too much.

The visuals of a tiny little malnourished Eddie hiding in a closet unable to reach the string of the light in there is going to make you hyperventilate if you’re not careful, so you have to take a walk.

It’s fucking freezing but hot tears trail down your cheeks as you hurry back to your rental car.

It doesn’t take much longer for Eddie to step outside, leaving the place where he spent the first few years of his life. His long legs carry him over to you quickly.

You can tell that he’s holding back sobs until he’s close enough to crash himself into you.

Arms wrap so tightly, they almost hurt. Bodies wrack with silent sobs until deep breaths calm the both of you down.

It takes a good while.

Eddie is first to pull back, and whilst cupping your face, both his thumbs wiping underneath your eyes in a bid to rid you of your tears, he manages to squeak, “Found him.”

“Yea?” you ask wetly. Hopeful.

This is why you came out here.

To find the small version of Eddie who, even as a toddler, knew that calling out for help was a waste of time because the calls would go unanswered.

To take him home.

“Turned on the–” Eddie throat closes up before he can even say it.

“Turned on the light for him?” you finish for him, and he just nods as he presses his lips together to keep them from wobbling.

Eddie goes in for another hug, hides his face in the side of your neck and grounds himself there.

You can feel how he’s actively trying to steady his own breathing.

It works, eventually.

“Did you…” you start, still holding him, but falter for a moment.

“Did I what?” Eddie asks, sniffing loudly, pulling back after you nudge your nose into his hair.

“Did you take him with you?”

It’s such a silly question. Eddie can’t help the smile that carefully plays at the corner of his mouth, and his eyebrows scrunch up as he looks down at you. He can dissect the question that pops up in the back of his brain for the fourth time today another time. How can he even begin to figure out why he deserves someone like you in his life?

“I did.” He confirms, and you let the breath you were holding escape you in a shudder.

He doesn’t think he deserves you.

“Good.” you smile, and maybe things are starting to look up, a little. Maybe the universe is slowly starting to make amends with Eddie. Is starting to apologize for all the shit it put little Eddie through in this godforsaken place no one should spend more than a single night at.

“Let’s take him home then.”

Eddie cries.

Thought he was done, but he’s not.

He lets you press kisses to the skin just underneath his eyes as he closes them.

He lets you open the car door and help him into the passenger’s seat.

Lets you drive all the way back to Wayne’s whilst he cries, because this is the second time little Eddie makes this trip, from the motel to Forest Hills. But this time he’s not scared.

He knows he’s going to go to a better place.

A safer place.

To a person who will try his very best hand at proper damage control. Who’s got a nice trailer, and a room that will get turned into his own bedroom three days into his stay.

To a person who will join Eddie in the closet for those first few nights. Who will just bring him food in there, have their dinner hidden away together, and who won’t force him out.

Who will play silly games with him in there, until the trips to the bathroom feel safe enough to do on his own.

There’s never other people in the trailer.

Just them.

Safe.

Eddie cries as he remembers more. Thought he had forgotten almost everything, but he remembers so much. He can’t talk about anything yet. Not now. His voice won’t let him. But that’s okay. You’ve got the radio on and need to focus on the road, and you’re taking him back to Wayne, and all he really wants to do is sleep.

And you just drive, and hold Eddie’s hand as he clings to you, and this is good.

It’s good.

Little Eddie deserves the fucking world.

You think so.

And you know of a handful of people who would wholeheartedly agree.

Slowly, you think Eddie might start to understand where you’re coming from.

He was never okay and happy and fine.

Still isn’t okay and happy and fine.

But the light has been switched on.

There’s light now.

He might one day be okay and happy and fine, and that’s something that before today was the most difficult thing to grasp.

“We’re taking you home, kiddo. I got you.” Eddie whispers, soft enough so only he can hear it over the engine and the music coming from the radio.

“Let’s go home.”

---

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[seriesxwriting]

HII! hello, how are you?

May I request a Spike x Reader (could be established relationship), where reader isnt quite a witch and is human but does have abilities? Bonus if those abilities have side effects bc we love a worried and protective Spike <33

(I'll leave the actual powers up to you)

TY!!

Thank you for this request, it’ll start off my Spike fics I’ve wanted to begin for a while!! I hope you enjoy :). (Sorry it took me so long to post I’ve been really ill and busy).

I quite like protecting you

Series: Buffy the vampire slayer

Pairing: Spike X Female reader

Summary: Request!

Warnings: Kissing.

Requests are open always!

“They’re getting worse spike” i mumble in the darkness into his chest. His muscular arms were wrapped around my body tightly. “I know babe- we will figure it out I promise” he told me brushing a hand through my hair. “I’m just so scared of outing myself at school- or in public” “I’m scared too- I don’t want to lose you” spike whispered back to me. I felt a lot safer in his arms than I had done all day.

With these unknown powers within me growing stronger everyday, I never knew when I was safe. Only when I was entangled with him. If anything good came from this situation, it brought me and spike closer. His words became extra soppy now, and I loved it. “Well I’m not going anywhere willingly” I told him, I heard him chuckle and his hand came down my back rubbing my spine.

“We just need to take one day at a time, we will figure it out- tomorrow’s a new day” he told me before brushing his lips against my forehead. "Okay" I breathed out closing my eyes and tried to go to sleep. It was a lot easier with Spike, if I had been on my own it would have proved more difficult.

I woke up a little late for school so the morning was kind of a rush. Spike just laid in bed watching me run about my room for a while before getting ready himself. He offered to take me to school, after seeing that the day was very cloudy, so I didn't have to drive seems I was stressed out. Spike was also a lot more confident at driving than me so it saved me time too. "I'll pick you up too okay" he smiled as I collected my things up.

"Are you sure?" "yes- ive got nothing on for the day anyway and you're my priority" he moved his hand over to my leg and rubbed my knee with his thumb comforting me. "Thank you- I'll see you at the end of the day then" I leant over and gave him a quick kiss before getting out of my car and running off to Tutor.

Spike waited for me to go out of sight before parking his car and getting out. He snuck his way into the school and tried to locate the library to complete his plan of action. That was what he had going on today. Once finding it he pushed the doors open and sure enough, Buffy was sat with her friends and Giles around one of the tables. They all looked at who had just walked in in utter shock.

"What the hell are you doing here" Buffy darted her head backwards in pure confusion. Spike swallowed hoping that things now were going to go his way. He walked slowly towards the table and sat up on the one behind Buffy. "I really need your help- I didn't know who else to turn to" he muttered almost a little embarrassed he had to come here to Buffy of all people.

"Why would I help a vampire- especially you" Buffy questioned making her eyebrow raise as she turned her full attention to Spike. "And after you broke into the school" Giles added, his face was obviously very weary of Spike. "I wouldn't be here if I had any other option would I?" he admitted gaining a little bit of confidence realising he needed a result today. "My girlfriend she goes here- you might even know her Y/N Y/L/N" he began explaining.

The students looked around at each other to see if anyone recognised the name, but no one did. Xander shrugged along with willow. "Well she must be a nerd" Cordelia voiced, looking at her nails and not caring about the conversation at all. "S-she's not a n-erd- look it doest matter if you don't know her- she goes here and she's been struggling recently".

"With what?" Buffy asked curiously, slowly becoming more interested. "I don't know how to explain it- she's developed these weird powers and she can't control them, ive never seen anything like it in all my years" he expressed with high concern, everyone could see how worried he was. "So she's a witch?" Willow piped up getting a little excited but the fact she wasn't understanding just pissed Spike off more.

"No- she's human, I wouldn't be here if she was a witch she's different- I don't understand her abilities so I don't know how she will either" he stated getting frustrated with the conversation. "If you're going to bring that attitude you can use the door- you know where it is" Giles tutted at the vampire. "Please Buffy we need your help- she's going to end up putting herself if something isn't done" Spike looked towards her with slight tears in her eyes. He didn't even care how desperate he looked, he was desperate. That was fact.

"Okay we will take a look- try and work out what is wrong with her- but because she's a human who needs our help not because she's your girlfriend" Buffy told him sticking her finger out at him. Spike sighed with relief that he'd done what he'd come here to do. "Thank you Buffy- I owe you one" he cracked a wide smile across his face making her smile too. He didn't smile very often.

"I didn't even know you had a girlfriend" Cordelia looked up at the man who shrugged his shoulders. "The more people who know about her the more danger she's in- I have a lot of enemies" he admitted standing up now. "and she- knows what you are?" Xander wondered tilting his head at Spike. "Of course- she knows everything" he nodded withholding the excitement he felt even talking about his girlfriend.

"You can bring her here later tonight, we will need the books if we are to figure out what is going on with her" Giles told Spike, not even moving his head from his current book to talk to the vampire. "I will- thank you- I'll get out of your hair" he clapped his hands together and exited the room so he could go and find a snack before school ended. "I have never seen spike so worried before- he must really like this girl" Buffy told the group.

"Well- we can only hope she's nothing like Spike" Giles took a deep sigh before closing his book and looking at his watch as his wrist turned. "Tutor is almost over, you guys should head to your lessons" "Ugh I hate sports first thing in the morning" Willow moaned through her head backwards. "Come on- the quicker we get it over with the quicker lunch comes" Buffy wiggled her eyebrows getting up from her chair.

Xander split off from them as he had to head to math, but the three girls walked to their gym class together. Turning into the locker rooms, no one else was present as it was too early and everyone else was finishing up in tutor.

I had gym class too but as I was sitting in tutor I could feel my table beginning to rock from side to side without me touching it. I washed in horror as it began speeding up. I there my hands onto it to stop it from rocking but I had no luck. Panic spread throughout my body as heads were starting to turn now. "Y/N! will you stop rocking that damn table" the teacher snapped at me. I grabbed my bag in a panic and got up from my table running out of the classroom.

I could feel a bigger reaction coming from all the stress from that situation. my eyes darted around, in a Minet everyone would be coming out of their form classes. My eyes landed on the locker rooms which I assumed were going to be empty. I ran towards them and just as the door closed behind me a large wave of energy forced itself out of me.

All the locker doors swung open and slammed shut again. I looked around the room painting, feeling relived it was over. until three faces appeared round the other side of the lockers. My heart pounded against my chest, id done it now- exposed myself. I grabbed the door handle planning to leave school and go home.

"Wait!" one of the girls yelled out, throwing herself towards me "You must be y/n" she called out with a sympathetic smile on her face. "Please- don't tell anyone" I swallowed, tears began swimming in my eyes. It was too late now. This answer was going to dictate the rest of my life. "We aren't going to" the ginger girl shook her head vigorously. "You must be spikes girlfriend huh?" the blonde one smiled, nodding at a seat trying to make me feel more comfortable.

"D- do you know Spike?" I asked her stuttering for the fear of the power they held over me in this moment. I began to walk closer to them and they all sat down on the bench. "We all know Spike" the other girl nodded her head. "Im Buffy" the blonde girl stuck her hand out towards me. "I'm willow" the ginger one waved making me feel a lot better about the situation. I turned to the other one who just blinked at me.

"Surely you know who I am" she laughed shaking her head, I stayed quite not having a clue what her name was. "That's Cordelia" Buffy rolled her eyes making me smile a little. "Seriously? you don't know my name?" she questioned, genuinely baffled that I didn't know her. "Oh well- I know it now" I nodded once but she still looked highly offended. "Spike came to us this morning and asked for our help- we're going to help you control whatever powers you have developed".

"How?" I wondered, twiddling my fingers together awkwardly. In that second my hair started floating all around my face unnaturally. I at first thought I was doing it but I then saw Willows hand twitching my her hip. "I'm a witch" she smiled enthusiastically at me. "Oh- i'm not a witch Spike said so" "No you're not- but i'm a slayer and together as a group we have quite a lot of knowledge on the supernatural- im sure we can figure it out" Buffy smiled at me sweetly.

I nodded and matched her smile feeling a whole lot better about the situation. "Why don't you stick with us today- then after school we can call Spike and get everything sorted out" Buffy offered with a hug of her shoulders. "Why are you being so nice? why are you helping?" I questioned, overthinking their kindness. "Well it is my job" Buffy chuckled.

"And Spike asked us as a friend to help you so... not that I would ever admit that to him" "your relationship sounds- complicated" I laughed behind my hand. "You can say that again" Buffy joined in nodding her head. And so that's what I did, I hung out with Buffy, Willow and Cordelia the whole day. At lunch time I met Xander and Giles, and I realised that they had a pretty solid group. They shared stories about all the things they had done and I left the conversation having high admiration for them and especially Buffy.

I didn't have another episode the whole day because I spent most of it not even thinking about my powers but about my new friends. They made me laugh all day, smile all day. And completely take my mind off the fact my world was crashing down around me. After school I went out to Spikes car, where he was waiting for me in the same spot he dropped me off. "Wheres your stuff?" he questioned looking slightly confused.

"In the library" I told him waiting for him to catch on. Spike took a second but then looked to me worriedly. "It's okay" I laughed at his facial expression. "You're not in trouble". Spike got out of the car and came round my side. "I'm sorry" "don't be sorry" I giggled as he pulled me into a hug. "I shouldn't have been so sneaky about it- I should have just told you my plan from the beginning instead of hoping you wouldn't find to and telling you later".

I laughed again shaking my head and pulling away from the hug, his hands still rested on my waist and mine on his face. "You don't have to apologise I can't thank you enough for trying to help me- these are some great people you done well Spike- I really think they can help me" I told him excitedly. "I've not seen that look on your face for a long time" he brushed a thumb across my cheekbone. "Because I have hope Spike and i'm excited about it".

"Well- then i'm only sorry I didn't think of going to Buffy sooner" "stop saying sorry" I laughed, playfully nudging him "you've done great- you've been great all the way through this- thank you for being by my side" "I quite like protecting you Y/N" he cupped my face with his right hand and pulled me in for a gentle kiss. "I like it too- it's attractive" I winked at him taking him by the hand.

"Come on- to the library".

Spike masterlist

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[killerlookz]

wip wednesday... yay!

as 52 minutes remain in the day.... another sneak peak at my vamp! joost fic bc ive decided to work on it instead of studying for my final tomorrow... hehe

warnings: uhhh... rpf, and uh... idk vampire stuff? ... just no blood quite yet. ... and also this is kind of messy but im just writing the bare bones story rn before i go back and ham up the details... mwah

You stare as Joost raises your knuckles to his lips, was it not only a few minutes ago that you had sat down here under the mere presumption you'd keep each other company until the power came back on? How quickly you had let things move, you should pull your hand back, swat him away, not let him get any closer. His lips brush against your fingers before he presses a kiss just above your below. You'd never been kissed before, not by a guy anyways.

Never in your life had you felt yourself so close to succumbing to temptation. The pressure of years worth of repression weighing heavy on you, the cracks in your immaculacy long been formed, you know its only a matter of time before you crumble to pieces.

Though, perhaps this did not really count, Joost's actions seeming chaste enough, in stark contrast with the noises you had usually heard coming from his room at night. A slight smile on your face, no, this seemed to gentle, too sweet, this could not be you giving into temptation.

Yet you can't help but wonder what this all has to do with what Joost had been meaning to show you, what all this has to do with why as your hand rests in his it feels almost as if you're touching a corpse.

Joost's lower lip drags upwards against your fingers, its almost startling the lack of warmth that emanates from him, expecting his breath to be hot on your skin, yet still, he's ice cold. Still holding onto you, Joost twists your hand, forcing your palm open, his lips now against your wrist.

Joost inhales, breathing deeply, chest rising slowly, before he exhales at an equally steady pace,

"You…" He starts, before inhaling again, eyes closing as a smile tugs at his lips, exhale, "Smell delicious."

You furrow your eyebrows, your intrigue in Joost unable to override your unease with the comment, though, you supposed it had just been an odd way of saying he liked your perfume.

"Th…ank you?" Your voice wavers slightly, the tension of the situation mingling with the discomfort Joost had often brought you, the strange mix of emotions paralyzing you. All you can do is watch as Joost presses a soft kiss to your wrist. He can surely feel the way your fingers tremble as he holds them in his own hand, and how the veins in your wrist throb with trepidation.

Joost looks up for a moment, his eyes meeting yours with an intensity you had never quite seen.

"I'm so sorry…" He starts, he's the one sounding pathetic now, the strained words coming from his throat as if he is begging for forgiveness, and at the two simple words you feel a pit forming in your stomach. As each second passes you grow more anxious about what is to come next, "I'm sorry, I really don't want to scare you…. but you asked me to show… you... asked why and I just don't think I can control myself."

It all feels so very strange, the way he speaks, its cryptic, like he's skirting around something, purposefully misleading you, leaving you out of the loop.

"Wha-ahh!" A high pathetic yelp leaving your throat before you can even ask him what he means. A sharp, piercing sensation enters your wrist. It's agonizing, eyes widening and filling with tears as you look down at Joost, teeth sinking into your skin, you can hardly believe sheer human strength alone was enough to cause all this pain.

If you pull your arm away he'll surely tear a chunk out of your flesh, his jaw clamped down tight, your eyes flick to your wrist, realizing he's broken more than just skin.

[neteyamsl0v3r]

Not so bad, after all.

╰┈➤ PART III.

pairing: neteyam x fem!metkayina!reader

summary: When neteyam and you met each other for the first time, they were overwhelmed with feelings they have never felt before.

wordcount for this chapter: 3.5k

tags: love at first sight, misunderstanding, arranged marriage/mateship, unrequited love, betrayal, angst, happy ending, etc.

word bank: ma'itan = son, oel ngati kameie = i see you, marui = pods built in mangrove trees

a/n; unedited. posted it here straight from gdocs. i'll try revising everything once i finished the fic mweheehe.

TEXT DIVIDERS CREDITS TO @/cafekitsune

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part II | part IV

PART III.

Like Tsireya said, Ao’nung did come the next morning. In his tow is his ever loyal companion, Roxto. Ao’nung gave you a look and pulled you back as you watch Tsireya lead the Sullys into the water. As you turn to look at Ao’nung, you didn’t catch the worried glance Neteyam sent your way as Tuk pulled him away. 

“I heard from one of the boys that you joined Tsireya? Are the freaks that hard to teach that she asked you for help?” He asked, voice low as he stared at you. 

You found yourself staring defiantly at him, something you usually would refrain to do in respect for the Olo-eyktan’s son, but you are not as patient was you were before. “Quit it, Ao’nung. Have some respect. If you didn’t ditch Tsireya and actually did what the Olo-eyktan told you to do, then we wouldn’t be here in this situation. I’m doing what you are supposed to do, skxawng.” You took your arm out of his grasp with an annoyed hiss, giving him a glare as you looked back at Neteyam’s group.

Ao’nung looked at you for a few seconds, grumbling to himself as Roxto interjected.

“They are even worse than babies! They should just go back to the forest, tree hugging freaks…”

Your blood boiled with rage. You believe deep in your heart that Roxto is not a bad person, but he kept challenging these beliefs with his terrible words, and it angers you that Ao’nung allows this to happen. With a frown, you kicked Roxto in his knees, making him almost kneeling. “Stop calling them freaks, Roxto! Don’t make me report your behavior to the Tsahik!”

Roxto wanted to retort as he grimaced and grunted with pain. He was stopped by Ao’nung’s hand. If there’s one thing that can deter these arrogant boys, it’s the Tsahik. With a prick of a sharp object, she can make them paralyzed for days. 

Glancing at you for a few seconds, Ao’nung finally spoke. “Fine. Let’s see what these babies can do.” 

He didn't even wait for you as he marched towards Tsireya and the Sully children. Roxto gave you a complicated glance before following after Ao’nung like he had replaced the latter’s tail.

Knowing his arrogant nature, you suddenly began doubting whether it was good to bring Ao’nung into this. You should've let him slack off like he wanted, instead of indirecting pulling him in and letting him cause trouble for the newbies. 

It's probably fine, right? Tsireya's there to keep them in check.

“Ao’nung, it's nice to finally be in your presence, brother.” Neteyam greeted Ao’nung, then glanced at you in the back, your gazes intertwined for a few seconds. 

“Hey,” he greeted you which you reciprocated with a soft hi. 

Ao’nung sneered, not bothering to greet back Neteyam as he walked into the water. “You even managed to get her to help you out. It seems that you guys are truly hopeless little babies.”

Tsireya glared at Ao’nung, “Stop being mean and start actually doing something, tsmukan.”

You ignored the two and smiled at the remaining Sully children. Tuk smiled back as she embraced Kiri in the water. Kiri gave you a small reserved smile, but it was still progress. The first time you met her, she barely acknowledged you. Lo’ak was still the same, nodding at you with a smile before giving his brother strange looks. 

Walking towards Neteyam, you tamed your wild heartbeat and gently asked. “I’m going to teach you the the final basics of breath-holding. This will be the most crucial part of learning how to stay alive for a long time underwater.”

Neteyam nodded, leaning closer to you as Kiri and Tuk swam towards where Tsireya was located. It was when you finally realized that you had made a mistake. That you approached Neteyam instead of Tuk, separating yourself and Neteyam from the group. You spotted Ao’nung giving you a look that commands you to follow him, but you ignored it.

You looked at Neteyam who looked back at you with calm eyes. If not for his tail flicking and ears perked up, you wouldn't have picked on the fact that he’s actually very eager to learn. 

It made you feel less nervous. He enjoys this, and it makes you feel happy. 

“F-Follow me then.” 

Neteyam gave you a smile, almost teasingly, but there’s still a hint of hesitation as if he was afraid you’d be offended. “Yes, Karyu~”

As you were about to pull his hand, you heard someone yell. “Wait!” Ao’nung approached you two, looking at Neteyam. You can feel the tension picking up as Neteyam gave Ao’nung an unreadable glance. “I’ll come with you. I’ll teach this forest boy,”

“Kehe!” You shouted unconsciously, earning everyone’s attention. You saw Tsireya looking over, seemingly worried. 

Ao’nung’s eyes narrowed at you. “Why? I’m the one that supposed to teach these guys, not you.”

“Oh come on, Ao’nung. You don’t even know what to teach. Just go away, help Tsireya or whatever. I can handle this.”

Ao’nung looked surprised with what you said. In fact he didn’t expect for you to refuse him and his help, making him feel flustered for some reason he cannot name. 

He didn't seem convinced so you communicated with Tsireya with your fingers. Without hesitation, Tsireya walked briskly and pulled Ao’nung. “Leave her alone, tsmukan. You’ll just distract her.”

Ao’nung looked between you and Neteyam before roughly pulling away from Tsireya’s grasp. Watching him walking away, you also felt complicated. You didn’t even know why you’re so against him being present with your lessons with Neteyam. 

Neteyam looked at you before looking at Ao’nung’s back, golden eyes narrowing. “That finger talk, it looks interesting.”

You were awakened from you reverie by his voice. “Yeah, it’s something that reef people must learn, you know, to communicate underwater. If you want I can teach you once we finish the swimming lessons. O-only if you want.”

Neteyam smiled at you, watching your face as it started to look different in shade. “I’d like that.”

On a rock, you sat face to face with Neteyam, trying not to look at his face. Your knees were touching his, you can even feel the temperature that radiated off him, his gentle breaths, the swish of his tail, and the twitching of his ears. 

“C-Can I touch you?”

“What?!”

Neteyam’s reaction surprised you. He looked disbelieving as he looked at you with wide golden eyes. He looked genuinely shocked at your question, making you question whether you actually said something inappropriate. 

Raising your palms, you tried to explain in haste. “I-I’m sorry. I just wanted to help you understand the basics, but it would require me g-guiding your stomach and chest..."

Now it was his turn to get flustered, hastily avoiding your eyes as he stuttered. “O-oh, okay. Go ahead.”

You tried hard not to let your hand shake, you don’t even know why you are so nervous. You have taught alot of children to get better in breath-holding, so teaching wasn’t new to you. But facing someone like Neteyam messes you up. 

With all of your courage, you gently touched the space between his ribs and his stomach. “Take a deep breath here,”

Neteyam inhaled slowly, but he cannot reach form you want to see with his heartbeat being as wild as yours. Your hand shook, and you knew he felt it. You tried to get everything under control but your hand is not listening to you. So you just let it be, and relished at the strong heartbeat under your fingertips. 

What a strong heartbeat. A heartbeat of a warrior. 

You tried to stifle the smile that’s threatening to emerge in your lips. You cannot show, so you tried to act as if nothing’s wrong. “Neteyam, y-your heart’s beating so fast. Mawey…”

Neteyam stiffened under your hand, his temperature rising in embarrassment. “...I’m sorry, let me try again.”

Listening to the heartbeat and the gentle waves of the water, you gently said. “You must be calm but strong, like the coean. Inhale…”

You can feel Neteyam’s gaze travelling on your facial features, his gaze held a searing heat and you can feel your face burning up because of it. “Exhale, Neteyam.”

“The way of water has no beginning and no end, the sea is around you and in you…water connect all things, life to death, darkness to light…”

Your gaze met with Neteyam’s, intertwined, as the sound of your heartbeats drowned your voice out. In this moment, there’s no ocean, no waves, no breeze. There’s only you and Neteyam, with your heartbeats thrumming in sync. 

Neteyam cannot sleep. In the darkness, he silently walked out of his family’s marui to walk along the shore. It was deep into the eclipse, with only the bioluminescent corals under water as his light. No matter how hard he tried to sleep, his mind is always filled with you face, your smile, your voice, your eyes that is full of unsaid words. He cannot stop thinking about you, even when he kept trying to convince himself that there’s nothing so special about you. You’re just a regular reef na’vi, with a rather reserved and quiet personality. 

So Neteyam didn’t really believe Lo’ak when that skxawng told him that he probably liked you that’s why he cannot take you out of his mind. Because if he really likes someone, isn’t Tsireya the most suitable person?

Neteyam isn’t a shallow person, but as the son of the most well-known warrior, he grew up with arrogance natural for his standing and achievements. Someone like Tsireya would be more suitable for him to like, she’s the olo-eyktan’s daughter with good-looks and kind personality. Although he didn’t really like her, he knew that it was only natural if he would fall for her.

Not you. He still doesn’t believe that he had fallen for you. It must have been short-term curiosity for an elusive and mysterious person like you. Heck, he didn’t even know anything about you aside from the fact that you are Tsireya and Ao’nung’s close companion and you study under the awa’atlu’s Tsahik. 

So why?

“What why, ma’itan?”

Neteyam almost jumped into the water when Neytiri’s voice rang behind him. “Mom, what are you doing here?!” 

Neytiri gave him a pointed glance before sitting beside him in the sand. “I should be the one asking that, Neteyam. What are YOU doing here? In this hour?”

Neteyam looked away and avoided his mother’s eyes. He should’ve known that she’s still awake, or at least alert enough to wake up with just simple movements. When it comes to stealth, she’s always the best in the family. 

“Nothing, mom. I-I’m just thinking about the lessons.”

Neytiri hummed, looking at the calm waters and the bright bioluminescent reefs. “Thinking about the lessons, or the person giving the lessons?”

Neteyam almost choked in his own saliva. With embarrassment, he hissed. “Mom! Don’t tell me you also believe Lo’ak and Tuk’s nonsense!”

His mother chuckled as she hugged her oldest son’s shoulder. “Is it really nonsense? There still must be a reason why they said that. Your sister Kiri also told me you were having fun with her today, totally forgetting your siblings.”

Are they for real? Even you, Kiri? Neteyam grimaced. “They’re jumping into conclusions. I-I, W-we’re just friends. I don’t like her like that. I barely know her.”

The woman smiled at her son’s embarrassed appearance. “I didn’t say you like her.”

This time, Neteyam was truly silenced. He didn’t know what to say.

“When I first met your father, I wanted to kill him. There’s anger and hatred for him and his kind in my heart, but I must admit there’s something complex in there too. Something I cannot explain before. Who would’ve thought we’ll come this far? With four lovely children.”

Neteyam looked at his mother before looking down at the sand on his feet. “You and dad told us about your love story million times already.”

“But do you understand what I mean, ma’itan? What I want you to understand is that there’s no use dwelling on thoughts that Eywa clearly hasn’t given you answers for. Wait for everything to unfold, and while doing so, have fun. Experience life with Eywa’s guidance, you know Eywa has plans for you. Don’t think about it too much. Like your father once said, go with the flow.”

Neytiri loves her son, she loves all her children. Neteyam is still young, but since he was young enough to understand, expectations are already heavy on his shoulders. So although, she does not know you enough to trust you with Neteyam’s heart, she’s still happy to help her son out if it means he’ll get the fun time he, as a young boy, deserves. It’s the least thing she can do for him as his mother.

Neteyam watched his mother walked back to their marui, before sighing deeply and standing up. Perhaps this time he can finally get some rest. May Eywa guide him in this confusing times.

You knew something was wrong when you didn’t see Ao’nung and his friends in their usual spot. So against your better judgement, you ran to the place you knew the Sully’s would be. You didn’t even know why you were running and feeling anxious, but when you saw Ao’nung and his friends picking on Kiri, you knew your intuition were spot on. 

“Hey! Back off, fish lips!” Lo’ak shouted, making Ao’nung and his friends turn their attention to him.

Seeing who it was, Ao’nung laughed. “Oh, another four-fingered freak~”

One of Ao’nung’s friends grabbed Lo’ak tail, laughing as he pulled it hard. “Look at this baby tail!”

Despite Lo’ak pushing them away, they kept mocking him, calling his tail baby tail in sing–song voice. They ignored Kiri’s plea, so you ran and pushed one of Ao’nung’s friends. “Enough! Stop this!”

Ao’nung looked at you and sneered. “What are YOU doing here?  Move and don’t meddle with our business!”

“This is MY business! You’re being too much, Ao’nung! What you are doing is disgraceful!”

Your words seem to have an effect on Ao’nung as he became visibly angry. He walked in front of you and pointed Lo’ak and Kiri. “You really like this freaks, huh? Pissing me off and siding with these tree-hugging fr—”

A rough push from behind you forces Ao’nung to take several steps back. You didn’t have to turn around to see who it was as his voice rang above your head, low and dangerous. “You heard what she said. Leave them alone. Back. Off. Now.”

Ao’nung’s friends wanted to speak, but Ao’nung held his hand up, staring straight to Neteyam. 

As you were about to move aside, Neteyam’s hand landed on you shoulder, making you immobile. “And from now on, you need to respect my siblings.”

His voice hinted his authority over Ao’nung, for he was a full-fledged warrior. You felt relief with his presence. Thankfully, no one got hurt, at least physically.

Ao’nung and his friends stared at Neteyam, while Kiri stuck her tongue out in mockery. Seeing their expression, Neteyam finally removed his hand on your shoulder, as if to urge you to walk back with him to his siblings. 

You can feel Ao’nung’s stare in your back as you walked with Neteyam. Sure enough, one of his friends complained. “Brother, why is she helping this family of freaks? Isn’t she supposed to be in your side, not these fr–”

You froze, making Neteyam look at you questioningly. Lo’ak, who’s nearest to Ao’nungs group finally snapped and began walking back. It made Neteyam curse under his breath, knowing full well what’s about to go down.

“Lo’ak,” Neteyam called, both worried and warning his brother to not make trouble.

“I got this bro,” Lo’ak looked at Ao’nung straight in the face. “I know this hand looks funny. Look, I’m a freak, alien,” 

Ao’nung and his friends laughed, but Lo’ak continued. “But I can do something really cool. First, I ball it up real tight like this. Then—”

BAM! BAM! BAM!

“That’s called a punch, bitch!”

You gasps as Ao’nung fell on the water, looking astonished. He and his face immediately charged and tackled Lo’ak, making Neteyam join the fight. You tried holding his forearm to stop him, but you missed.

The fight become chaotic. Pulling, kicking, slapping. Just one big mess, as you heard Kiri giggle in the background. You tried pulling Ao’nung away from Neteyam, but got hit in the face in the process. Both Ao’nung and Neteyam pause, before fighting even more ferociously.

“Stop! Enough!” Tonowari’s voice boomed, stopping all the commotion in just few words.

Oh, Eywa, what a mess. 

Neteyam winced as his tongue made contact with his cut. Some parts of his body was aching, but like that night, he find it hard to sleep again. He suddenly missed their life in the forest, where no one would dare to pick on him and his family, where people genuinely treats them with respect, where he was still the olo-eyktan’s son. 

“Neteyam,” He didn’t turn around. He knew it was you before you even called his name.

You sat down beside him, he didn’t look at you but he also didn’t move away. Neteyam waited for you to speak.

“Can I help you with your cut?”

Neteyam looked at you for a second and saw the concern in your eyes. It didn’t escape his eyes, the bruise on your cheek. His stomach flipped, feeling upset. He found it hard to refuse, so he relented. “Fine. Only if you allow me to help you back with that nasty bruise.”

You smiled. “Sure.” You felt nervous touching his face, but your concern for him won over your anxiety. With gentle touch, you spread the salve on the cut on his lips, trying not to look in his eyes in fear that you’ll lose focus. For a moment, you relished in the silence between you and Neteyam, fully immersed in each other’s company.

“You don’t have to compensate for Ao’nung, it is not your fault.” He broke the silence when you finished putting salve in his lips. 

You paused before smiling at him as you looked into his eyes. You know you had to, so he’ll know you are saying the truth. “Believe it or not, I’m not doing this for that skxawng. I’m not here to compensate for his terrible personality and bad decisions, I-I…”

You paused, suddenly uncertain if you should continue. You continued anyway. “...I’m doing this for m-me. Because I c-care for you.”

Neteyam’s heart thrummed against his chest, but he tried playing it off as he chuckled nervously. “...I’m sorry, I thought…”

You waved your hands. “I’m sure you have an idea now, about you know? My identity.” You didn’t wait for him to respond as you gazed at the ocean, smiling wryly to yourself.

“I’m the only child of my warrior father and a weaver mother. They both died when awa’atlu was attacked by a group of akulas. I was an ‘eveng, so my grandfather took me. He’s an elder trusted by the Olo-eyktan, but he’s often away doing trades with the other nearby clans. He arranged me with Ao’nung in hopes of securing my future. No one asked me what I wanted, no one cared. But Neteyam…this is a shackle, not a path for the future.”

You don’t expect Neteyam to understand, but he did anyway. At first, his fingers grazed with yours, until he slowly intertwined his fingers with yours. You looked at him, too many unspoken words you cannot say, because if you do, it may ruin you and Neteyam’s life forever.

“Oel ngati kameie,” He whispered, as he gazed back at you. “As the son of Toruk Makto, everyone’s expectation of me was to surpass or at least become as mighty as my father. I love my family, and I’d do everything for them. But it gets tiring too, you know? Being expected to accomplish this and that, without a second to breathe. I’d still do it though, if it means keeping my family together.”

Your admiration for Neteyam grew even stronger. You can never be like him, who’s brave enough to do what must be done for the sake of his loved ones. “I admire you. At least you are brave enough to face it, while all I do is run.”

His grip on your hand tightened. “You can still change it, no?”

You didn’t reply, and Neteyam doesn’t seem to expect any. He just took the salve in your hands and began spreading it on your bruised cheek. “Little miss protector, always remember not to interrupt boys fighting okay?”

You giggled and it made him chuckle. When he was finished, he secured the salve in your satchel and urged you to go sleep. You were reluctant, but still nodded. You want Neteyam to have a rest. 

After a few steps, you ran back and stood face to face with him, “Can we meet tomorrow here, same time? I want you to see something special to me.”

Neteyam didn’t hesitate and agreed with a smile. He brushed a stray hair and tucked it in your ears. “Sure. I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

“Oel ngati kamiei, Neteyam.” Then, you ran to your marui without looking back, feeling giddiness you have never felt before, unaware of the pair of eyes watching you and Neteyam from afar.

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 5/20/2025

in this week’s lesbian romance, she saves her love interest from a BEAR which is the buchest thing i can possibly imagine, aside from like. maybe historical calvary reenactment?

listening

American Psycho by Double Standard. this is a fairly standard indie rock girl group single but it shouts out the iliac crest which i have NEVER seen mentioned outside of fic. not even at the literal doctor’s office!

-

reading

this week we have Whitewater Rendezvous: Danger, Destiny, and Romance on the River, the third book by Kim Baldwin, who wrote two very respectable thrillers we read earlier this year. 2006, Bold Strokes Books, 233p, normal glossy cover perfect bound paperback.

Danger, destiny, and romance on the river.A wilderness kayak adventure brings together two very different women—Chaz Herrick, a laid-back outdoorswoman, and Megan Maxwell, a workaholic news executive. As they battle the challenges of nature for survival, they discover that true love may be nothing at all like they imagined.

very interesting little foreword: not surprising she’s branching out from thrillers a little bit bc all her authors bios are basically “i like living in michigan with my wife and being outside :)” and she was a journalist for 20 years before semi-retiring to write so the TV news exec aspect of one of the love interests is kind of fun. the girls’ friend group (Broads in Broadcasting) that drags love interest Megan out to Alaska to go kayaking feels like a real life club the author is in lol

had a chat with my bestie about love interest names in romance novels and we would love to have a chat with ms baldwin about her continued use of traditionally male names for her lesbian novels. i would really love to know if any of her love interests would be transmasc if she were writing them today. i understand that trans masculinity and butch culture are sort of blurry in places and more of a continuum, and im very curious if a transmasc love interest was just like. not economically viable as a novel? or if the state of the discourse wasn’t where it would need to be for that to be published by a lesbian press in 2006? many questions.

im hesitant to call this the girls adventure counterpart to the boys adventure books: i feel like traditional early 20th century pulp boys adventure generally has an element of unsanctioned political operation about it? there is no scheme to thwart here really. nobody is a staunch citizen soldier patriot on vacation. it is simply a normal vacation and a nice little travelogue/outdoorswoman novel.

i did like the emotional development here: there was a genuine barrier to them getting together in the beginning, and there was a genuine feeling to slowly beginning to trust each other beyond a professional client-guide partnership where it would look back if someone was killed on this fun trip. this one felt more, i want to say fanficcy? than most of the lesbian romances ive read. but that’s not quite what i mean when i say they both get put into Situations. there are a limited number of tents. there is a bear. there is a head injury necessitating Megan needs to get gently held and secured by Chaz as they raft to a helicopter extraction point to medevac her out of the Alaskan wilderness. i think baldwin was having a little trouble doing something that wasn’t a thriller and getting them to the next point, but this is a fairly picky nitpick compared to the absolute dreck we’ve been wading through where sometimes not even correct formatting is guaranteed!

it does the misunderstanding bc of a kiss thing (annoying) and then solves it early in the next chapter (annoying bc a nosy coworker breaks this news. Refreshing that it’s not the misunderstanding on which the plot hinges and doesn’t actually solve anything. bc both of them are so emotionally constipated that even this vulnerability is not the breakthrough). it is of course a happy ending romance, and has a very neat solution to the long-distance problem of one person having to give up everything she loves about life to be with the other person. there’s also a very funny (for 2025) discussion about 2006 webcams.

sex scenes are fine. nothing truly awful, nothing truly outstanding. i think this is better geared towards someone with normal hips and joints who really really loves scissoring. there is a truly wild scene where Megan gets VERY pushy and eventually backs off that i don’t think ive ever seen in another romance, gay or straight.

-

watching

apparently i have gone basically my entire life conflating the mission impossible and bourne series bc last thursday i put on the first mission impossible (1996) movie fully expecting the first bourne movie. i had never seen this fucking thing. i had a lot of thoughts about how the plot seemed stapled together in order to get you to the next stunt, and then read the wiki page and discovered that was in fact how they wrote and made the fucking movie. cruise’s preferred way to make a movie???? insane.

i have seen topkapi (where mission impossible gets its guy on a wire vertical heist scene from, down to nearly setting off the floor sensors) but it was wild to watch MI and realize that’s what all modern heist movies are copying.

-

playing

fallow week. nothing interesting to report in genshin

-

making

i have had three different paint by numbers at 95% completion in my dining room table for months bc i wasn’t quite happy with any of them. so i turned this one into new vegas fanart through the time honored method of “tracing the logo by using a tablet as a lightbox and then transferring the outline by going over it real hard with a pencil”. i would like to think it does look very in-universe, like someone clearly found some pre-war signage and sold it to gomorrah who slapped their logo on top. it will live next to my nuka cola cap sign in my home office.

[vixensbrainrotts]

Committed to you - Manjiro >Mikey< Sano

(part two)

Idea/ prompt: Mikey from the last timeline who wants to propose to us but has no idea how to ask so he ask advices from draken and emma

Vixen's two cents: Hi. I know ive been gone for like 2 weeks, I dont know why but it's been hard writing lately. anyway, thanks a million to @anahryal for giving me this idea whilst I was in the pits of my writers block!!! thanks girl, I can't tell you how much this helped. anyway, REQUESTS ARE OPEN and I advise you to use them! now please enjoy my revival piece!

Mikey has thought every possible thought he could have. He had run through every possible situation, every possible outcome, every possible setting, but damnit why was this so hard? He couldn’t do it. Not for the life of him.

He had browsed millions of travel blogs, pondering about every possible spot on earth to take you for the occasion. He had woken in and out of more jewelry stores in the past month than he had ever in his entire life. He had specifically stood in corner stores, reading the wedding catalogues in the magazine section trying to figure out what the hell he was supposed to do.

None of it helped.

Manjiro wanted it so bad. So so very bad. Every white dress he walked by, he envisioned you in it. Every bakery shop he passed, his eyes flitted up and down the fancy display cakes, pondering whether or not it would be good enough. Any time he woke up next to you, every time he joined you in the shower, every time he watched you cook, the urge to sink to one knee overtook him.

He knew he couldn’t make it that simple though. It was too domestic for him, so little of a gesture. He wanted you to know that he loved you, that he would bring you the moon if you wanted it. He needed you to see just how much he appreciates you for sticking with him through everything, and for that he needs a grand gesture.

However it seemed that nothing he could think of was quite big enough, quite meaningful enough, quite heartfelt enough. He was at the end of his wits. For one and a half months- seven weeks he had been fighting this battle alone.

He had made some progress in that time, having picked the ring because when he picked it up he just felt that this was the one. It was a niche store, and he was initially appalled by the average price of the rings, but decided, ah what the fuck? and entered the store for mostly shits and giggles. He was greeted by an expensive looking elderly gentleman who donned a monocle and silk gloves, clearly the clerk, and clearly an expert. He had the longest, most engaging talk with the man, explaining his situation and his frustrations, to which the man nodded understandingly and told of his own story and experience with marigge.

Seven long weeks he had kept it a secret from everyone, and now he couldn’t take it anymore.

He was just about to throw the towel on this whole thing and say fuck it and give up on this whole marriage thing and just accept that he would never make it, when he remembered that he didnt have to be alone in this. Not at all matter of fact. His best friend married his sister after all. If Ken could do it with the pressure of Shinichiro, Izana AND Mikey breathing down his neck, then surely he could do it too, right?

You were out on a girls night with Hinata, Senju and Yuzuha. Emma would have tagged along normally too, but with the addition of a new-born baby, she decided that it would be best to sit out this time. Either way you were out of the house for the night, and Mikey was left to his own devices. You had left him with a kiss and a home-cooked meal (which he felt bad about leaving behind so he completely stuffed himself before coming here) before he gave Ken a quick heads up over the phone that he was coming over with a VERY important problem.

Thats how he found himself here. Standing in the Kitchen of Emma and Ken‘s flat, hands perched on the counter, looking down at the surface, face in a deep frown. „What’s goin on? What’s the problem?“ Ken asks roughly, leaned on the refrigerator as he eyed his friend. Mikey didnt really respond though.

„What problem?“ Emma‘s voice was hushed as she entered through the kitchen door, pulling the door shut behind her, probably for the sake of the baby. „I dont know.“ Ken responded, rubbing his eyebrows „Ask your brother.“ he sighed as he gestured to Mikey who was still staring down the counter.

“Mikey?!” Emma sounded confused and a little concerned as she turned to look at him, eyes flitting between her brother and her husband. “Did you know he was coming over?”

Ken nodded wordlessly. “Said he needs our help about something.” Emma’s head tilted in question but accepted the fact. “What’s up Mikey?” She asked, approaching him and joining Draken at the other side of the counter.

Mikey didn’t say anything though, instead reaching into his pocket and producing a small, black, silk-encased box. He dropped it onto the table and looked up at the couple in desperation. “How do I do it?”

Ken gasped and felt his lips tug into a smile, happy that finally, finally Mikey was wiping you up (he had told him to do so since they were teens).

Emma slapped her hands over her mouth to muffle a silent scream, beginning to voice up and down on excitement as she realized- her brother was marrying you! She thanked the gods that Mikey fell in love with you because there was no better in-law than her Soulsister.

“Ahhhhh! Oh my goodness Mikey! I’m so happy for you! Can I see? Wow! Oh my god Ken are you seeing this!? He’s proposing! Ah I’m so glad!” Mikey nodded in response and let Emma pick up the box and crack it open, revealing the beautiful white-gold wedding band, encrusted with more diamonds than she could count. Notably, one large diamond sat in the middle of the ring, flanked by two smaller diamonds on each side.

“Oh.” Emma breathed. “Ken why didn’t you ask Manjiro for help when picking my ring?” Emma sounded slightly offended as she spoke, glaring down at the ring.

“Nah nah, don’t get it twisted girl. You told me what ring you wanted, I didn’t have much picking liberty other than the price.” Ken waved his hands in dismissal, brushing off her accusations with a grin still wide on his face. He made his way over to Mikey and clapped a hand on his shoulder, congratulating him for the occasion.

“Good on you man! Finally givin it the push, hah?” Ken was smiling as he searched for Mikey’s eyes, but he didn’t look up. “What’s up with the long face? You’re about to propose dude, you should be over the moon!”

Mikey sighed and shook his head. “I’ve been trying to propose to her for months. Months Ken. I can’t do it. It’s never right.”

The couple halted their celebrations and turned to look at Mikey again, Emma putting down the dainty box as her looks turns to one of concern. “What do you mean?” She fingered at the box as she leaned across the counter.

“It’s… i don’t know. Ken made it look so easy when he proposed to you, and Pah-chin was even more mindless about it! I really want to. I really do, but every time I get close, I chicken out because I get scared or because something isn’t right, and I’m starting to think that it’s better if I just… don’t.” Mikey sighed and cradled his head in his hands, his elbows resting on the counter.

Emma and Ken shared a look, a wordless exchange of worry and empathy. "What kind of proposal were you thinking of? Big? Small? Public? Private?" Emma started, hand rubbing soothingly across her brother's back.

"Big." Mikey mumbled into his hands, remaining hunched over the counter. "Big and public. I wanna make sure that everyone knows, everyone sees, I want them all to know. want them to know how much I love her."

Emma's eyes softened and she suppressed a smile, because all in all, it was cute. She had always known her brother to be big and strong, undefeatable, and most of all unwaverable. Mikey always put up the strong front when really, he was hurt. Vulnerability wasn't something that she was used to seeing from him, which made this moment all the more special.

"Do you want to go somewhere with her?" Ken steps in and asks, an idea arising. Mikey only grunts, a noise of agreement sounding through the room. "Do you know what kind of places she likes?" Ken continues.

Mikey's head slowly raises from the position on the table and he stares forward at the refrigerator. "Europe."

Emma and Ken looked at one another again, sensing that they were getting somewhere. "Then take her on Vacation. You both have that long shared break coming up, don't you? Travel through Europe and when it feels right, ask!" Ken said.

"How do I know when it feels right, though? What if it's not the moment?" Mikey asks, still not entirely convinced. "You'll know. I promise you, you'll know. I knew too and I didn't think I had the stuff to ever get married." Ken reassures again, and this time the two share eye contact, and it takes Draken a lot not to tear up.

Draken took a moment in his mind to look at Mikey. He had stuck by his side since they were kids, through thick and thin it's always been the two if them against the world. And now as he looked at Manjiro he no longer saw the unmatchable delinquent he saw ten years ago, but rather a distinguished person with complex thoughts and emotions. He saw a man that felt, a man that cared and a man that loved in front of him, and he couldn't be prouder.

Ken nodded at Mikey, and Mikey nodded back at him. "Yeah. She'll love it! Thanks, I'll do that! Gosh I don't know what id do without you two.."

"Oh, please propose to her in front of the Eifel Tower! Or the Coliseum! Or on some romantic Bridge in Venice!" Emma swooned and held her hands over her chest, hearts in her eyes.

Mikey smiled at her and nodded again. "I'll try and film it if I can."

-

The rest of the evening was spent with the three of them checking about a thousand booking sites, mapping travel routes and destinations, and the occasional cacophony of laughter which led to a grumpy Ryuguji-baby. Manjiro couldn't wait to go with you, he thought as he sat on one of the armchairs, gently running a thumb over the silk box that sat pretty in his hand.

[i-will-cry-you-a-river]

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Fall: I’ve been wondering, how did you get into writing? You seem like you’ve got such a strong grasp on it. It’s kind of intimidating, honestly. You are way too good with your words, especially compared to us, mere mortals.

Shen Yuan smirked as he typed out his reply, leaning back against his hospital bed.

Shizun: You flatterer! But honestly, I’ve spent way too much time hate-reading terrible webnovels and thought, ‘Well, I can’t do worse than this’. Writing fanfiction was kind of a last-ditch effort to keep my sanity after reading PIDW for so long. And…

He started to hit backspace but hit enter instead. Shit.

It took a minute for Fall to answer. Against his hopes, not without asking about that ‘and’.

Fall: “And…”?

Fall: But LOL. I should have known that nothing can beat spite. Not sure if you know - probably you do, since you love PIDW’s world so much -, but there's a commenter, Peerless_Cucumber, who is like that. The angrier he gets, the more eloquent he writes. Barring all the swearing, LOL.

Fall: Shit! Wait. No. Now that I think about it, please, don't check him out! If you two would collaborate, you could take over the world.

Shen Yuan couldn't decide whether to cry or laugh. It seemed, it was a good decision not using his Peerless_Cucumber acc, but it was quite strange to read about himself. Maybe he should tell Fall it was him.

Hahaha. No. Fuck, no.

Shizun: Hahaha, I know about him! Would it be strange if I'd say that I kinda use his long-ass comments/essays as bases for improvement? He is always so detailed with all the problems and issues, it is much better to use those instead of the fan Wiki.

Shizun: So… about the “and”.

Shizun: I used to be quite sickly when I was young. I spent a lot of time in the hospital, and I found out that reading and writing was a wonderful way to forget about the real world. Funnily enough, I'm actually at the hospital rn, turning towards writing once more.

It took a little longer for Fall to answer. Biting into his mouth, Shen Yuan hoped that it wasn't too personal too soon. Shen Yuan glanced at the IV drip beside him, the sterile smell of the hospital room filling his senses. It wasn't that bad.

It wasn't good either.

He wanted to go home. Home had his own bed. Home had his PIDW merch and his favorite pillow his er-ge forbid to bring him to the hospital.

Fall: Oh, shit. That sucks.

Fall: I get that. Reading (and maybe writing, but you may never know) is a safe space for me too. It helps to forget about all the problems in the world, to imagine you are somewhere else, in a better place. Also, I hope you are doing okay! I'm also in a similar situation, so high five bro! (Kinda managed to do something very, very stupid. Did you know that ramen is liquid and liquid does not go well with electricity?)

Fall: On a lighter note, I really think that you are good at writing. You should try to do original work if you want to - you are, like, natural at balancing world-building and character development. I'm kinda jealous, but I've learned a lot just from reading your fic.

Shen Yuan blinked at the screen. It was one thing for random commenters to leave praise, but for some reason, hearing it from Fall felt... different. He found himself smiling stupidly, warmth blooming in his chest. Fall was just so…

He was lovely.

A great “bro”, it seemed. Way to be bro zoned.

Shizun: First of all, don't you dare to

sell yourself short! Not on my watch! You’ve got some pretty good ideas yourself. I can tell from your comments you’ve got a solid grasp on storytelling. Second, what the fuck, Fall?? You okay???

There was a longer pause before Fall replied. Shen Yuan knew that logically, Fall had to be safe, since he could write - they had been communicating constantly for the last two weeks -, but that didn't make it less scary. To know that Fall could have…

To think that Shen Yuan could have died… if either of them died…

They could have never met. It was a strangely disturbing and upsetting thought.

Fall: I'm good, I'm good! Dw!

Fall: Okay, but consider this: I don't think anybody would be interested in what I'd write. What I would like to write about.

Shen Yuan only had one answer to that:

Shizun: I'd read that.

Fall didn't reply for a long time after that, but that was okay. Shen Yuan assumed he needed some time to think about it, and that was okay. He just hoped his friend would realize how much Shen Yuan thought the world of him. He believed in Fall, even if Fall didn't believe in himself.

Shen Yuan, after all, had experience in believing in authors with great potential, who lacked the spine to be themselves and write what they wanted, instead of what the majority of the people demanded.

-*-*-*-

Fall: I've been thinking a lot about SJ and the way you portrayed him handling the Immortal Alliance Conference. It was fascinating to see the parallels. Him killing WY, who murdered those kids to save YQY versus him throwing LBH into the Abyss, believing that he, as a demonic cultivator, also killed all those kids. It was such a great moment! Shocking, because I think we all thought he would not do it since your SQQ wasn't as brutal as Airplane's, but you executed it so well! Oh, I wish Airplanes would have done the same. So heartbreaking! While PIDW created a monster out of SQQ, you created a human.

Fall: I'm also wondering if you plan to make him struggle with that choice later. Like, will he regret it in hindsight?

Shen Yuan considered this, tapping his fingers against his laptop. Fall always asked questions that made him rethink his plans. Actually, he didn't really think that he did such a great job at drawing parallels between the two Conferences, so he planned to switch POVs and continue it from Luo Binghe's, but…

It was actually a great question. The readers already knew about Luo Binghe's experiences in the Abyss more-or-less. Shen Yuan planned to show how staying at a more stable peak affected his physique, but it could be fascinating to explore what happens to Shen Qingqiu meanwhile.

Maybe he could do both…

Maybe-

Shizun: You raised a good question. I think I'll have him grapple with the consequences, it could be interesting to see how things turn out in the mortal world.

Fall: I think you should do it. It would fit your world-building theme… You could make the story feel more real. Like, the world, the characters and their choices have weight, y’know?

Shen Yuan knew exactly what Fall meant.

Shizun: Yeah, you are absolutely right. It was definitely something PIDW was missing - characters suffering real consequences. Even if they did something, be it either bad or good, it didn't really matter, because they either died in the end, or…

Fall: or had sex?

Shen Yuan snorted, typing back quickly.

Shizun: I wanted to say kinky, yet utterly boring papapa, but yes.

Fall: Oh, don't mention it! If I never read the words ‘thrust’ and ‘dangling’ again, it’d be too soon!

Shizun: I hate you.

Shizun: I want to bleach my eyes. I hate those words! And all the euphemisms Airplane use. ‘Flowers’, I get. Even ‘heavenly pillar’ makes sense! But comparing breasts to cow's udders?!?! Sometimes I wonder about Airplane's sex ed background…

There was a longer pause after that. Only his nervous ticks revealed his anxiety over that pause. Was he too offensive? It was not his Peerless_Cuvumber acc, so maybe he shouldn't have been so critical over the papapa scenes? But that was the best part in his friendship with Fall! He felt free to be open, to be himself!

Before he could work up himself, a reply came.

Fall: Maybe he doesn't really like writing sex? Or specifically, hetero sex? Maybe he is…

Shen Yuan stared at the words.

Airplane, his favorite and most hated author might be similar to him?

Maybe.

But…

Shizun: Don't care. I'm gay, and I could write better hetero sex scenes if I wanted to! Sexual orientation is not a good reason to be so bad at something!

Only after he sent the message did he realize that he fucked up. Sure, he might have flirted sometimes as they were talking with each other, but only within the boundaries of a no-homo friendship. But now that he came out in the heat of the moment…

He didn't want to lose a friend.

Fall: Okay, but you are different. You dare to write what you love.

Shen Yuan only realized that he had been withholding his breath, when he could feel himself breathe normally. It was not an explicit acceptance-

But it wasn't a rejection either.

He would take it.

Deciding, he would not bring attention to his accidental came-out, he wrote:

Shizun: If you ever decide to write something, you can also write whatever you wish to. It will be great, I'm sure of it!

There was a break in the conversation, again. He hoped he didn't push hard, since he knew Fall had been pretty hesitant to talk about his own writing in the past, but he hoped his encouragement helped.

Fall: Maybe one day. If I get brave enough to write something worth reading, you’ll be the first to know!

Shen Yuan smiled at his phone, feeling the familiar warmth settle in his chest. He wasn't sure why, but the idea of Fall sharing his work with him first, felt like something worth waiting for. The guy had a way with words, it was obvious from his comments. He was insightful and had an eye for details. Shen Yuan knew that if he ever wrote something he really liked, it would be an instant hit.

-*-*-*-

As the time passed, the day of Shen Yuan’s discharge loomed closer and closer. Which, don't misunderstand him, he desperately waited for!

However…

He had to admit. He didn't really want to leave the Hospital Guy. Sure, he still didn't know much about the guy - not even his name, for fuck's sake! -, but he had grown attached.

Hospital Guy was funny and smart and weird and hilarious. Shen Yuan enjoyed spending time with him, their quiet moments in the garden. He liked talking with/to him about everything and nothing. Hospital Guy was attentive when he ranted about the series he binge-watched between two chapters of PIDW, and they also had the same taste in music! He liked seeing the guy relax, and he loved it even more that he, Shen Yuan, was the reason for his more relaxed state!

He just liked Hospital Guy, okay?! He was just adorable, both inside and out!

So, on the day of his discharge, Shen Yuan mustered the courage to do the one thing he had yet to do: visit the guy's room.

Hospital Guy was clicking wildly on his phone, but the moment he noticed Shen Yuan, he stopped, and focused all his attention on him.

“Hi,” Shen Yuan said, surprisingly shy.

“Hello, Stranger,” Hospital Guy grinned.

“I'm leaving today,” he blurted out. The grin was instantly gone from Hospital Guy's face, turning into an unreadable mask.

It was concerning.

“Oh,” was all he said.

Shen Yuan waited, hoping for something more. A request to stay in touch, disappointment for not continuing their daily walks, or at least a goodbye that felt more meaningful. He waited for something, anything-

But the guy just nodded, his gaze drifting away from Shen Yuan, as if with that, he had already forgotten about the friend he made in the hospital.

Maybe they weren't really friends. Maybe everything was only in Shen Yuan's head.

Maybe he had bothered Hospital Guy all along.

Disappointment surged through Shen Yuan. He’d thought, maybe, there was something there; a connection, a friendship, maybe even more! But the guy didn’t seem to care.

It was as if Shen Yuan didn't even exist anymore.

“Alright,” Shen Yuan said, his voice tight. He would not cry. He would not scream. He would not fight. He would not bother Hospital Guy ever again. “Take care of yourself.”

And with that, he left.

[dangerkittenclaws]

Are your requests still open? I’d love a fic where the (AFAB) reader is in a situation where she’s forced to share a bed with Vessel (maybe she’s a musician who’s touring with ST and the hotel is short on rooms? lol I know it’s super cliche) and in the middle of the night he wakes her up by initiating sex? 🥰

This was so fun to write, thank you!! And thank you for being my first request/ask, I'll never forget it! Sorry it took me a hot second to finish. To be honest, I feel I got a tad carried away but I hope I did our lean bean of a man justice! <3

vessel x f!band!reader

warnings: smut MDNI +18

You were waiting in the lobby of the hotel your tour agent had booked, spinning your luggage case lazily by its extended handle. The staff had been frantic as your large group entered the building.

 IV was at the counter talking to the man who was clicking desperately at his computer. Something clearly was wrong with the reservation, but you were so tired that you really didn't care, you just wanted to slide into a cozy bed and sleep like the dead. It had been a long day, not including the show tonight and piling into a van afterwards. 

Two of your best friends and bandmates, Alexis and Maggie were sitting on one of the lobby couches quietly showing memes to II. Vessel, III, and Liv, your bassist, were sitting on the bench right next to them. You all had gotten to know each other fairly well considering you inhabited a bus for numerous hours, watched each other practice, and went out to eat together. 

You had noticed Vessel staring at times the past few weeks. You didn’t particularly mind the man was checking you out, it felt good to be wanted in a genuine way. You were not opposed to something new. You had become aware of him giving you glances that were a few seconds too long, a hand grazing just a little slower, him waiting for you so he could walk with you to wherever you were going. 

And the teasing and bickering, god, it never ended. You didn't expect any different, being in close quarters with four boys and your three raunchy best friends, it was a constant war. You didn't quite know how to navigate these waters with Vessel though, it had been quite a while since your last boyfriend.

Your attention was brought back by IV walking back over to where you stood, a grimace on his face.

“Something happened to their booking system, they’re overbooked and we're going to have to share rooms until tomorrow.” 

Some sort of seniority took over his voice, “Maggie, Alexis, Liv you can share the two-queen room, II, III, and I will share the other. That leaves you and Ves with the last king room”, he said pointing between you and Vessel. 

Your eyes could’ve popped out of your head at that moment, but you schooled your expression hopefully before anyone noticed. You looked over to your bandmates and saw how Liv wanted to protest, but closed her mouth before she could say anything, knowing it was futile and everyone was too exhausted to care. It was nearing 3am and you were only spending two nights here before traveling again. 

Vessel's eyes instantly shot towards yours, a small smirk forming on his lips, his arms crossed over his chest. Those lips. 

“I guess it's you and me, then, love.” He gets up, standing to his full height before grabbing his duffel bag from beside him. The rest of the group rises and gathers their things, IV giving out key cards in silence. 

You look at your girls, bidding them goodnight with a small wave and suddenly your hands are empty. Vessel had taken it upon himself to steal your suitcase and start walking towards the elevators. 

Startled, Maggie giggles behind you at your expression. Breath leaves your mouth in a sort of sigh and laugh, and your tired legs begin to move in his direction. He is already in the elevator, keeping the door open for you. 

“Damn your long legs.” 

He turns to you once the doors shut, “I hope you have a little bit of energy left in you,” 

You look at him confused, “What do you mean?” You know what kind of tone he has, a playful, flirtatious one that makes you blush. 

“I guess you'll just have to find out, won't you?” the doors open to the new floor and he darts out, immediately walking in long strides and searching for the correct door. You try to keep up, watching him try the key card on the fifth door down the hall and entering. You walk into the blackness of the room knowing he's just in front of you. He nearly giggles as he turns on the bedside lamp and watches your face scrunch up at the sudden light. 

“You could at least warn a girl,” you yawn. Just as described, there is one large plushy looking king bed in the center of the room, a tv mounted to the wall, a little breakfast counter, and a door ajar on the other side, the bathroom. 

Vessel drops both of your bags at the end of the bed, “Okay, me first, I need a shower.” he announces. You scoff and nod anyway, both of you taking out your pajamas and toiletries you'll need to set them aside. 

Vessel puts his hand on your hip from behind you, the boldest move he’s made yet, “I’ll be quick” is all he whispers near your ear. The warmth of his hand lingers on you even though you hear the door shut. You finally breathe again, you had stood frozen for too long. Is this really happening? 

You finally search out the TV remote, finding some mind-numbing home renovation show. You watch a few minutes, zoning out entirely, before the knob of the door twists and you turn your head. Your eyebrows raise at the sight before you. 

He is a little damp, clothes in hand, the last few water droplets running down his lean torso, hair scruffy from the towel dry he did before wrapping it lowly around his waist. You almost drool before looking back up to his eyes. 

“My eyes are up here, darlin,” he smirks. You feel your entire being light up red hot before you want to implode for getting caught staring at the very… enticing area that he is putting on display. It's not like he wears those pants for no reason at shows, it leaves little to your imagination and he knows it. 

You jump up with your head down, grabbing your things and dipping into the bathroom without another word. You shower hot, needing an excuse to be as pink as you were with that fine man that you had been roomed with. Your pajamas were just an oversized Sleep Token shirt and a short pair of plaid shorts. 

After scrubbing the day off of you, you change into your pajamas before your hand hesitates at the knob. You breathe out. We are just sleeping. We aren’t even anything yet. Why am I being so dramatic about this? 

You summon all of your courage to open the door and look out to see Vessel in bed, scrolling his phone, the room only illuminated by the TV. You put your leftover toiletries and laundry on top of your bag before plugging in your phone and pulling back the covers on the other side.

Vessel looks over to you, “Come here, love”, opening his arms to you. You snuggle into his side and onto his chest, as his hand rubs up and down your back. You involuntarily let out a little sigh of relief, finally you can rest. You fall asleep like that, him holding you close and warm. 

You wake up a few hours later, having turned to your side in your sleep, one of his still around your middle and the other under your neck. 

You move slightly and become aware of something pressed against your ass. You immediately hold your breath.

You slowly breathe out, and try to inch yourself away. His arm tightens around you. Oh shit, he’s awake. 

Like he reads your nervousness, he starts to kiss along the back of your neck to the side, underneath your ear. You shiver at his warm breath. 

“Hmm, I'm sorry, I just couldn't help it with your ass backed up to me darling.” You smile and blush at his words, knowing the effect you have on him. He grinds a bit into you as his hand slowly moves towards the waistband of your shorts. 

You realize your shirt had bunched up just below your tits just as his other hand reaches up and runs through your hair, long fingers pulling just enough for your head to move back. You turn to your back when he easily grazes over your clit and you clench your thighs together. Vessel gives you a little growl in your ear and your thighs cave open as quick as your resolve. 

“I've wanted you for so long, sweet thing, and I've got you all to myself now.” His fingers move in slow, small circles over your clit and your hands go to his bicep, grabbing at him for more. You let out a small moan as you lose yourself in the feeling of warmth of both of his hands touching your body and the building starry sensation in your belly. 

You reach down towards his stomach, caressing down, trying to burn the feeling of his skin into your mind before coming into contact with the curls of his hair. You hesitate slightly and he quickly attacks your lips, like he's reading your mind again. 

You continue on to wrap your hands around his long, hard dick and begin tugging on it. He smiles against your neck and brings his other hand up under your shirt to massage your tit before pulling your nipple taut and thumbing over the hard bud forming. He does the same with the other while his fingers work their way into your wet cunt, one slender finger at a time. 

You are getting impatient now, kissing his lips and neck, sucking his soft skin into your mouth to leave your mark. He lets out a whimper before seemingly regaining control of himself. Noted for future reference. 

He slides down your body in a quick moment before licking up your slick cunt, making you nearly cry out. He tongues your entrance before making his way up to your clit and practically latches on. You claw at the bed sheets beneath you eventually finding his grown out hair to pull. You don't know if you want him to stop or if you want more, this is so much better than your own fingers. You buck up into his mouth and he locks his arm around your thighs to keep you from squirming away. That feeling in your stomach is burning. 

He makes a few deliberate swipes of his tongue in succession over your clit and he watches that you come undone beneath him. Your eyes roll back, your hips tighten, and you gasp out his name. He keeps his tongue flat against you, tasting your cum before coming up to kiss you. 

The moment you taste yourself on him is the moment you feel him press against your swollen pussy. You moan into the kiss, wanting more of him. He grabs himself to properly press his dick into you. He does it slowly, making sure you savor every inch. 

“Please, please, Vessel, please”, you beg him. 

“Please what, kitten?”, that slow devilish smirk comes back with a vengeance on his wet lips. 

“Please fuck me, I need you to fuck me.” You mumble out, embarrassed but full of anticipation. 

He thrusts into you fully, making both of you moan out curses. Ves sets a pretty quick pace but makes sure to hit the one spot inside you that makes your pussy tighten around him on every pass. He bottoms out, touching the beginning of your cervix and you see his eyes roll back. 

“God, you are better than I ever imagined.'' He reaches his hand down between the both of you to play with your clit again. This time though, your orgasm is quick to approach with him inside of you. His fingers move swiftly as you grind yourself down onto his cock to meet his every thrust. 

You are scratching down his back trying to find purchase with how full he makes you feel. Soon enough, the pool of white hot in your belly is overflowing again and he changes the angle just slightly, fucking you through your orgasm. You moan out knowing your pussy is clenching around his dick in a vice grip. Just as you cum around him, he settles deep within you and his fingers dig into your hips. His thick ropes of cum spill into you and he pulls out to leave your cunt messy. 

You open your eyes half-lidded after a moment, trying to catch your breath, “Jesus, did you… did you plan that all along?!” 

He smiles wide at you, “Which part, the room sharing or the me-getting-you-to-myself?” 

“Either?” 

“The rooms being short just happened to play into my favor, but I was plotting to get you alone this weekend, my sweet kitten.” He pecks your lips before moving to the bathroom to get a warm towel for you both. 

You sigh out as you watch him, “I didn’t know what I was missing out on, really.” 

You hear his sweet laugh as he comes back in, gently running the towel over your pussy, cleaning you up. You squirm a bit but are easily distracted by the kisses he leaves on your inner thigh. You let out a small yelp when you feel teeth graze and a quick nip before he pulls away. 

He slides in next to you again, pulling you close, “If I have it my way, you’ll be mine forever.” 

“I’d really like that,” you murmured against his chest. You feel him press his lips to the top of your head before you fall back into a satisfied dreamless sleep.

[planaan]

Since we are talking about hot takes, do you think Ford actually had it worse, like you said in one of your post? Because even if you did say later that it is dumb to compare trauma, you still said he had it worse.

If were talking about who have the most amount of cumulative trauma Ford objevtively wins just timewise. 30 years on the run > 10 years thats just like math.

But thats also not really how trauma/ptsd works its not necessarily about cumulative time or even the specific event, its about how well the individual going through the trauma was able to cope during and after it, and what their support system looked like.

Neither twins had a solid support system during the bulk of their traumatic experiences. But id argue there are a lot of factors that make me feel Ford had a worse time overall, such as the fact that he had a complete lack of bodily autnomy for an extended amount of time with really no solid plan on how to recover it. He not only had no support system, but honestly had Nothing familiar to turn to during his rough patches once he was dimension hopping. We also know, as i mentioned in that previous post, that Stan did eventually build some assemblance of a long term found family in gravity falls over the years via soos and eventually wendy and the twins, we know to see the twins he must have reconnected with family at some point in some way.

Ford did not have long term connections, as far as we know he didnt often return to the same dimensions/had no control over where he'd end up and when. He did have better luck in some places than others according to the little he divulges in Journal 3 and various anecdotes but i have to imagine it felt rather empty with the knowledge that he couldnt ever stay in once place permanently with his mission to Destroy Bill. (Ex: him missing jhesselbraum, seemingly one of the few he actually deeply connected with)

That being said i do not want to minimize the immense mental toll being homeless or being in prison and all that entails can have on a person. (Housing and food insecurity, exposure to the elements, exposure to drugs, gang affiliation, high likelihoods of SA) Ive been in insecure housing situations, ive had several family members go to prison and come out changed, i would never want to imply otherwise.

But as many have said stans trauma is so grounded in reality whereas Ford's is so fantastical its hard for them to imagine the very real impact Fords time on the run would have on him, espcially considering his clear guilt over endangering his home via Bill's manipulation.

So i just advocate for people having trouble empathizing with Ford's experiences to think about in the terms were more familiar with. Lack of bodily autonomy, HIGHLY implied SA from Bill (i refuse to argue about that again idc who doesnt agree). Housing insecurity, food insecurity (he invented nutrience pills cmon), and clearly a lot of physical violence and injuries and high stress situations. And when you put it like that, youll notice alot of Ford and Stans trauma is actually quite SIMILAR! Because that was always kind of the point. They have so much more in common than theyd ever realize because of how much focus they'd spent thinking about their differences.

[athenaistired]

𝐃𝐈𝐋𝐔𝐂❞

— 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐡𝐮𝐬𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐩𝐭.𝟑 //

ᴘʟᴏᴛ: ᴅᴏɴɴᴀ ʜᴀᴅ ʟᴏꜱᴛ ʜᴇʀ ᴘᴀꜱᴛ, ʜᴇʀ ꜰᴜᴛᴜʀᴇ, ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴏᴡ ꜱʜᴇ ᴡᴀꜱ ʀᴇᴀᴅʏ ᴛᴏ ʟᴇᴛ ɢᴏ ᴏꜰꜰ ʜᴇʀ ᴋɪɴᴅɴᴇꜱꜱ ᴀɴᴅ ʜᴜᴍᴀɴɪᴛʏ.

art credit & word count: 2634

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢ (ᴄᴏɴᴛᴀɪɴꜱ ꜱᴘᴏɪʟᴇʀꜱ): ɢʀᴀᴘʜɪᴄ ꜱᴄᴇɴᴇꜱ, ʜᴏꜱᴘɪᴛᴀʟɪᴢᴀᴛɪᴏɴ, ɴᴏɴ-ᴄᴏɴꜱᴇɴꜱᴜᴀʟ ᴀʙᴏʀᴛɪᴏɴ, ᴍᴜʀᴅᴇʀ ᴘʟᴏᴛᴛɪɴɢ, ᴅᴇᴘʀᴇꜱꜱɪᴏɴ, ɢʀɪᴇꜰ, ᴍᴀᴛᴜʀᴇ ʟᴀɴɢᴜᴀɢᴇ, ʙᴜʟʟʏɪɴɢ

— 𝑴𝒀 𝑳𝑼𝑺𝑻𝑭𝑼𝑳 𝑯𝑼𝑺𝑩𝑨𝑵𝑫 !3!

Donna woke up to the sunlight forcing its way through her eyelids. She was in an unfamiliar bed, with Diluc gone from her side, and with a strange string attached to her arm. Her memory was still hazy; the only thing that she could recall was that she was speaking to you about Diluc, but somehow she ended up here.

“You’re awake.” An unfamiliar man in a black suit was sitting in front of her bed on a chair, he seemed to be reading a book in another language with a drawing of a human’s head on the cover, “I’m Sebastian, personal doctor working for Master Y/N in case of emergencies. Just call me by my name. How are you feeling?”

“I’m okay. Just a bit sore all over..” Donna mumbled back, to which the man nodded, “And.. My stomach kind of hurts..”

“That’s expected.” He reached for the paper laying by her nightstand, “You’ve been here for 32 hours, in and out of consciousness. Your medical record is missing information about your allergies, but considering that you and Master Y/N were having tea together, I’d say that you had quite an aggressive reaction towards some type of fruit which was used to make the blend.”

The moment he explained what had occurred hours prior — memories came rushing back in Donna’s mind, and she instantly felt more awake than ever.

“So.. It wasn’t poison?” She asked with hesitance, and the man almost dropped the mug which he was holding in his other hand.

“What kind of person do you think Master Y/N is to poison someone in a broad daylight, in their own home, with this many people around? Of course this was an accident.” The doctor scoffed and got up, “Anyways, leave whenever you feel like it. You seem more than fine to me.” He quickly detached the IV drip out of her hand, and bandaged up her elbow, “Try not to put any unnecessary strain on this arm.”

“A-Alright..”

Donna had actually never seen one of the proper doctors before in her life. Her family were strong believers in Herbology and Barbados’ will, so she wasn’t exactly sure why the doctor had concluded she was allergic to some fruit. Her whole life she tended to the gardens, sold massive varieties of flowers, and even once was a waitress at the bar with all kinds of drinks. Something didn’t seem to perfectly match what Sebastian had described, but maybe she just had to ask you what the two of you had that day to get to the bottom of this situation.

“Donna! Are you alright?!”

Suddenly, the doors bursted open with Diluc rushing inside. He looked even worse than last time she saw him. He was beginning to smell, his hair was forming mats and shining with grease, and his eyes were puffed and red; huge eye-bags forming above his cheeks.

“H-honey.. What has happened to you?” The woman gasped in shock at the appearance of her lover. He seemed to be taken with surprise by her reaction, and took a few steps back to stare at himself in the mirror.

The man froze.

Slowly, he reached to cup his own face as if he couldn’t recognize it.

“That dammed Y/N..” He mumbled to himself, “I am actually falling apart..” He whispered, while crouching down to take a seat on the ground. Now, Donna was more than worried. She got up from her bed and hugged her lover in a tight embrace, “Did they do something to you?” He pulled away to look deep into the woman’s eyes, “Did they hurt you?”

“I..” The brunette wasn’t sure what to say. Was she poised? Was this intentional? Accidental? Were you naturally hostile or angered by the circumstances? She had no clue. “I don’t know. Sebastian told me that I had an intense allergic reaction to something and that Y/N called in the medics to save me.”

“Oh.” Diluc blinked in surprise, “T-that’s confusing me even more now..”

“I know..” The woman sighed, “I know.”

-

You sat at the edge of your bed, as Marie kneeled before you with your right hand in her skillful palms. Your feet were soaking in a warm tub with rose petals floating above the water’s surface, and the maid gently trimmed your cuticles and the length of your nails to perfection. The two of you sat in silence throughout the whole procedure, as you stared at the flickering flame of a candle on your nightstand.

“What do you think, Marie? What are they going to do next?” You asked her a question, and she didn’t even bat an eye before answering to you.

“They are going to try to murder you, my Master.”

You didn’t expect such conclusion. Truly, your death seemed to be an only out for Diluc’s desperate cry for freedom. The moment he’d sign a contract provided by you — his life would be over. Staying in the same mansion with you would also ensure his and Donna’s suffering until their last breaths. But in order for him to be back in control of his future — he would need to erase you. You let out a bitter laugh, however, Marie’s expression remained as stoic as always.

“What do you think I should do?” You questioned further. You watched her grab a warm cloth, and rub your palms in gentle motion, as if trying to cleanse you of your sins.

“I am a mere servant, my Master.” She reminded you.

For a second, you saw red. Without a thought you slapped her hands away from yours’ and grabbed at her chin — forcing her to look you in the eyes. She didn’t tremble, she didn’t fight, she just froze. Your anger vanished, and slowly you melted into a fake smile. Your thumb hovered over her bottom lip, and you brought her closer to yourself, until you both could feel each others’ breaths.

“You’re my servant, Marie. I don’t keep fools around me, do I?” You then let go off her, making her lose her balance for a second, but she quickly gathered herself and bowed her head in submission, “Now, speak.” She rose her gaze, and you encouraged her once again with a raised brow.

“I believe for there to be two options.” Marie began her speech, and took your feet out the tub to place them on her thighs and wipe them dry, “You get rid of Master Diluc and send Mistress Donna back to Mondstat. Nobody would believe her that it was you who hurt Master Diluc, but even if they would, a single mention of his crimes across the world and that it was all done in self-defense would guarantee your innocence.”

She was finally done taking care of you, and proceeded to reach for freshly the ironed socks by her side.

“And second?”

“You get rid of Mistress Donna, and make Master Diluc fall into the deepest depths of despair, so that he won’t have anyone else to turn to for comfort — but you.” Marie buckled up your shoes, and stood up, instantly straightening her back, “The choice lies in whether you prefer to execute quick revenge and forget, or, to keep a hold of your revenge until your last breath.”

You laughed at her words.

“Do you believe for revenge to be a waste of time?”

“Many people who consider themselves above others would say that, but I solely believe that your decision is absolute, my Master. I believe a yearn for revenge made you into a person who you are today, and Master..” Marie locked her hands together by her chest, “You are an entity beyond my comprehension.”

“You flatter me, Marie.”

Looking at her, you saw emotions which Diluc had never expressed towards you. Yes, he loved you. But young love comes and goes. Meanwhile every single one of your servants in this house, were undoubtedly loyal to you. There was no hesitation that every single maid, butler, cook, and even the recently hired doctor would die for you. Kill for you. Live for you.

Diluc was never any of those things.

“I think I made my decision.”

You’ve made that decision long time ago, and there was no reason to back out on it now. Even if Diluc would put you in the casket, you would crawl out with a knife in your hand to continue to haunt him. You weren’t sure where this obsession was coming from. Perhaps it was boredom. Maybe, you were just that evil and prideful. Or even..

It was just fun.

-

Donna decided to finally leave Master Y/N house and go for a walk. They have been living in the mansion for a month now, and each day was worse than the previous one. She tried to make it work. She followed all lessons which you signed her up for, she learned the etiquette, she put herself on a diet, did her hair to the best of her ability, but one thing for sure — each day was more miserable than the other.

The moment that the sun would rise, she would feel the dread wash over her. Even when you weren’t at the mansion your spirit and your presence were felt everywhere. Your mere gaze was driving her insane, even giving her nightmares. She had a dream, where you were smirking at her with a maniacal glare in your eyes whilst holding a blade to her throat. Then, there were visions of you poisoning her, assassinating her, or hanging her off the ceiling.

Donna’s thoughts were getting darker and darker. From a light and careless girl, she has become something else entirely.

Perhaps, being with Diluc was the biggest mistake of her life.

As she finally stepped through the gates of Mondstat — the whispers began. Nobody in this city knew what you were truly like. How terrifying, how cruel, how manipulative. They all saw you from the best angle, meanwhile, Donna was seen from her worst.

“Homewrecker..”

“Slut!”

“Whore!”

“To get together with a married man, no shame at all!”

“How can she even bear to come back here..”

Even though they were mere whispers, their voices seemed to be louder than her own thoughts. She had to bite down on her bottom lip to keep herself away from shedding tears. Her life had become so terrible. Although she was outside, it felt like the curtains were still drawn. She couldn’t see the sunlight as bright as it used to be. A part of her was still locked away in that mansion — forever caged.

She felt her heart rase, her breathing picking up — she was panicking. There were so many people, and they all hated her. Yes, she did a bad thing, but did she really deserve all of this? Were her good deeds before this now completely forgotten? Where did all of her friends go when she needed them the most?

She had no one.

She was so alone.

“Is Sister Barbara around?” Donna asked as she had finally reached the church. Her feet felt sore, and the base of her spine was aching.

“One second.” One of the nuns had ran off to get her. As Donna waited she took a seat and looked around the church. Perhaps, she should beg, no, plead Barbados for His guidance. For His help. For His involvement.

“She’s here.”

“Donna! I haven’t seen you in a while.” If there were someone who hadn’t changed their attitude towards her — it was all the nuns, especially Sister Barbara. Maybe she was just very good at hiding her real thoughts, but Donna preferred to indulge herself in a more positive light.

“Hi, Sister Barbara.” The brunette murmured shyly, “I sent you a letter a week ago..” She reminded the other, and at first Barbara seemed confused, until she remembered.

“Ah, yes, yes!” The young girl continuously nodded her head, “Let’s head to a more private room.” She gestured for Donna to follow her out the church, and into the next building.

Barbara wasn’t the only doctor in Mondstat, in fact, she wasn’t even an actual licensed professional how Sebastian was. However, people with healing hydro abilities were granted permission to accept patients and examine them if required. Donna didn’t trust Sebastian, so, she sent a letter ahead explaining her symptoms to the blonde girl and arranged time and date of their meeting.

Barbara made the woman lay down on the examination table, as she checked what worried her most. She applied pressure on different parts of her body, especially her stomach. Then, a frown covered her face and she spread out her palms across Donna’s stomach — hydro particles suddenly formed in the air and circled around each one of her fingers — until they had vanished. It seemed that the blonde had come to her conclusion, but was hesitating to speak.

“Donna..”

“What? What is it?” The brunette was already imaging the worst. Was she dying? She must be dying! “What’s wrong with me?” The longer she wasn’t hearing an answer, the more panicked she got.

“You’ve had a miscarriage.”

What.

“I.. I was pregnant?” Donna stared, and Barbara nodded, “What do you mean I had a miscarriage?” She breathed out a pained laugh, “I didn’t bleed or anything.. I..” And then — it hit her. She understood what happened. You didn’t poison her that day. Your intent wasn’t her assassination, but rather.. “N-no way..”

She was drowning.

Her lungs were getting filled with the sea of sorrow.

“NOOOOOooooOOoOOOooOOooo!” A howling, blood-curdling cry was heard echoing through the halls of the hospital. Her tears were running down her cheeks like a river, and Barbara’s comforting embrace felt like the last hold on her humanity.

That day Donna hadn’t just lost her past, but she also lost her future.

-

Donna came back home only a week later. She might have not even known her child, but the grief was weighting down at her heart. She always wanted to be a mother, and from a young age she was told to be infertile. She never said anything to Diluc about it, because the topic was never brought up. But now, she was finding out that her miracle baby was forcefully taken out of her. She felt violated, torn, and broken. Every part of her soul had shattered like glass with pieces scattered so far apart that they’ll never be fixed back together.

“Donna.. Finally.”

Diluc was hugging her, but she couldn’t even feel it. Her body just froze, meanwhile, her gaze and mind were elsewhere. She couldn’t stop thinking about her lost child. Was it a girl, a boy, or twins? Were they going to have her brown her or their father’s crimson locks? What about their eyes, their height, their smiles? Were they going to grow up to be strong and powerful, or would they prefer a more standard and quiet life? Why did this happen to her? Why wasn’t she given a chance?

If only you had asked her to decide between her child and Diluc, she would have chosen her child in a heartbeat.

“Where have you been?” The man whispered into her ear, and she felt his tears falling onto her shoulder and soaking through her shirt. She hadn’t cried since that day. She hadn’t even said a word. Her whole world was stuck in that one moment, unable to move on, “What happened to you, my beautiful?” Diluc was playing with the locks of her hair, just how he used to.

He hadn’t changed, but she was now a different person. She was in grief. He was in despair.

“Can we kill them?”

Diluc instantly pulled away, and stared at Donna’s empty eyes. He blinked once, twice, but still couldn’t believe his ears.

“K-kill who?”

“Master Y/N. I want to take their life.“

FINAL CHAPTER !

[jxdeblack]

Holy shit guys I got my first downloads for my harry potter dr 😭

(little backstory)

so Ive been at the hospital since 9pm because my girlfriend wasnt feeling well and they had us waiting in the ER for TEN fucking hours yall t. e. n. but whatever anyways so we got out at 7 am THE NEXT DAY😐 so I was tired asf on the way back home and I had a little bit of the greens if you know what I mean and I just asked myself how I felt about shifting and LET ME TELL YOU the Flow came immediately I just started talking and taking what came without thinking and I was like “I know I can shift” And that felt so true to me it made me literally so happy then I just was like im liking this flow so maybe I should try to meditate on my dr and Ive never really been able to actually meditate and really feel like im in my dr but man I WAS THERE IDC LIKE THE FLOW WAS CRAZY LIKE MAN I FELT IT ALL AND THATS LIKE MAN I LOVED IT

OKAY SO HOPEFULLY I CAN REMEMBER EVERYTHING BECAUSE IT WAS QUITE A BIT

okay first thing I was DEFINITELY sorted into the wrong house 😭 based on my personality, I definitely belong in Slytherin, which not surprised, but I wouldn’t give up being Gryffindor for the world (thats my family fr!)

next I got a download about my twin brother Jay!!! Bro literally runs the Slytherin common room along with Draco and Blaise like😭 and he’s so protective over me anytime the Slytherin password changes he tells me just in case I need to get to him if something were to happen and nobody ever says anything about me being in the common room (not to my face at least🙄) bc of the boys😭 like yes yall do your jobbb!! Protect your sister and cousin tf!

I also got a download on how I felt about my dad (Sirius) breaking out and basically just my whole feelings towards the situation as of now (when I shift) and I really have a Idgaf attitude about it i’m just trying to put the whole thing in the back of my mind and just focus (heavily) on my studies, making sure my spot on the quidditch team is still secured, and hanging out with my friends. My thought was I haven’t seen that man since I was 6 so it really has nothing to do with me, which is valid(I actually do care a bit😭.)

I got a download of Nymphadora, Harry, Ron, Neville, and Hagrid

For Nymph I just got a peak at how close we are I feel really connected to her because we are like sisters since we grow up in the same house and we are both metamorphagus

Harry is literally my ride or die bro like thats my bestfriend😭

Ron is a ride or die by default bc hes like a little brother to me😭

I LOVE NEVILLE SO MUCH HES MY BESTIE

for Hagrid I just was thinking of planning a trip with the trio to go visit him bc I missed Hargid

And lastly I got a download of my girlfriend and I and yall I am MEAN to everyone but I have the biggest soft spot for her like blaise and luna type beat like I have a soft spot for her now but its so so so much more intense in my dr 😭

Im sad I didnt get a update about Liliana and Mione 🥲

[anamelessfool]

Papa's Metamorphosis (pt 2)

An Interactive Adventure (hashtag #papas metamorphosis) Part 1

One morning, as Papa Emeritus IV wakes from anxious dreams, he discovers that in bed he had been changed into a tiny, evil little doll.

Hahaha, please I am just razzing you. It's the Dungeon Master in me. (And these options will come up again) OK, enjoy part 2. And Vote on what happens next. CW: Drug References

Onward to the Ghoul Den

Papa takes a small comfort in the fact that despite his predicament, his rats still recognize him. Two of his favorites waddle up to the side of their cage, rubbing their nose against his outstretched felt nub hand. It’s oddly heartwarming to see them at the size of small ponies. Worst case scenario if he never figures this all out he can at least literally cuddle pile with his rats at this scale. “Stay strong for me, my little potatoes,” Papa soothes, more to himself than anything. “I’m sorry your breakfast will have to wait.”

Papa steels himself with a fortifying breath, preparing for the journey ahead. His ghouls would know what to do. And would probably not laugh at him for whatever he looked like right now. He slips out of his rooms and into the hallway, flattening himself against the walls to avoid detection as he scurries towards the ghoul den. Luckily the ghouls lived downstairs and therefore he could simply throw himself down the steps, bouncing stupidly the whole way and remain relatively unharmed. Upstairs would be a tough climb stair by stair but Papa does what always has and looks on the bright side. The ghouls will immediately solve all his problems painlessly and he would emerge from this situation completely unscathed and able to climb stairs with ease.

Naturally.

Papa knew ghouls are nocturnal but as far as he was concerned this was an emergency situation that warranted an urgent wake up call. He’s now in front of their rooms in the basement of the ministry, preparing himself for one of the most impossible challenges he’s yet faced in his life: opening their heavy front door.

He gets a running start from across the hall, slamming his body against the door. He bounces back and skitters across the floor, the door still shut. Cazzo. He rubs his head and tries again, putting his weight into it and again he flies back, gasping.

As he dusts himself off and swears, his rats come to mind. He knows rats can squeeze under a place as long as their skulls can fit. They're very collapsible and resilient. He eyes the crack under the ancient door. It's quite large now that he looks at it. He presses his head in his hands, then holds them out to measure. Yes, he could do it.

And so Papa maneuvers his head under the door, and his plush body compresses as he slides through, groaning through gritted teeth as he forces himself through the vice made by the door and the floor. But he’s through. It worked. He makes a mental note to never do any major upgrades to the Ministry as long as he’s Frater Imperator. They really don’t make shitty, drafty doors like they used to.

All at once Papa is hit with the strong, pissy herbal scent of cannabis in the air, and he hopes it doesn’t leech into his stuffing. Merde, these ghouls need to get a grip, he thinks. Their common area is relatively clean except for several empty pizza boxes stacked beside the sagging couch. There’s a few towering water pipes and empty soda bottles on the coffee table. Papa sees three of his ghouls distorted through all the glassware, dozing across each other on the couch: Swiss Ghoul, Mountain Ghoul, and Aurora Ghoul.

“Ghouls! Ghouls!” yells Papa as loud as he can. “My Ghouls!”

Swiss blinks his puffy red eyes several times, assessing and reassessing his vision. Copia bounces in place by the couch, muttering the whole time. Swiss regards the mess on the coffee table, coughs, then taps the other ghouls awake. They all slowly come back to life, rubbing their heads.

“Am I seeing this?” Aurora asks, swiping at the air. Papa jumps back, narrowly missing her claws. “Like…is this guy real?”

“This is the wrong shit to be seeing tiny people with, Rory,” mutters Swiss. “Yeah. This thing is real.”

“Erm, this eh, thing, is your Papa,” sputters Papa. “Copia. Your summoner. You, uh…have to help me?”

“Holy shit he’s small.” Aurora Ghoul is shaking, drawing her knees up to her chest. “Or am I big? Am I like, super big now? Hoooly shit, guys—”

“Rory, stop being dramatic,” Mountain says, still leaned back on the couch. “You had like, half a puff of this. Honestly.”

Copia attempts to climb the coffee table, but the smooth wood legs slip under his little felt hands. “Don’t you ghouls em, know magic? You know…spells?”

The three ghouls exchange glances. They silently decide Mountain is the one articulate enough to break the bad news to their Dark Master. “Well…did you specify we’d be able to do magic? When you summoned us?”

“I don’t…” Papa frowns, stamping a little foot on the rug. “Listen, it’s not that important right now! Do you know spells or not?”

”I mean…thing about magic is, you gotta be real specific,” Swiss adds, with a shrug and a phlegmy green cough. “That’s kinda its whole bag. You wanted musicians and uh…well, you got ones.”

”With all the musical talents of Satan himself,” Aurora Ghoul adds with pride. “And I’m pretty good at making cocktails.”

“She really is good,” says Mountain.

“But that was that bartending course I did during off season, nothing magical about that.”

Papa feels the vibration of heavy, sleepy footfalls arriving from the bedrooms and Cumulus appears, bleary eyed and wearing a massive purple silk sleep bonnet. She already begins her tirade against the noisy ghouls as she enters the main room, crossing it to get to the fridge. “What the fuck are you going on about? I swear if you bought more of that gas station weed again—”

Swiss tosses his arm at her. “No, no, that was a single stupid mistake!”

“Yeah we test it all on Phantom first now,” says Aurora.

Cumulus rips open the fridge and removes the carton of orange juice, snatching a clean glass from the counter. “Yeah well, about that…” She is mid-pour when her eyes land on Copia standing by the coffee table and waving his little felt arms. Her face falls into a mask of confusion, and for a few seconds she forgets her glass is full and juice splatters across the floor. “Do we have…pests?”

“It’s me!” cries Papa. He hops up and down, attempting a friendly smile. “I’ve been cursed!”

“He’s been cursed, ‘Lus,” Mountain says helpfully.

Cumulus Ghoul places her glass on the counter, her brow furrowed, her head slowly tilting in bewilderment. There’s a tense silence as she studies the paraphenalia scattered across the coffee table, then her packmates, and then the impossibly tiny version of her boss fretting on the shag rug. She blinks, once.

“I’m going back to bed.”

And she does.

“You all are just….just!” Papa crosses his arms. “A real em—drag!”

“Sorry, Papa,” says Swiss. “That's fucked up. That's a total bummer, man.”

“You want to retrace your steps or something?” Mountain suggests.

“No, certainly not!” Papa is incensed and in his mind he’s done with these ghouls. He marches through the common room, his thin felt legs flailing in a determined and irritated goose step. “I'm looking for ghouls with er— brains! Some common sense!”

He reaches the hallway with its bathroom and three adjacent dorm rooms for the rest of his dark army. Certainly not all of them are lazy degenerates, Papa thinks as he adjusts the tiny hat on his head. One of them at least would have a good head on their shoulders…

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