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the-bee-graveyard · 4 years ago

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The Fine Line

Chapter Two

Hello! So this is my first chapter fic. It’s a Newt's and Brendresa fic (I’m hoping to write a Kitty one soon, sorry for my neglect to the TDA fandom recently) so um yeah I hope you like it

Sorry for any misspellings/grammar errors I did proofread, but I’m super inattentive so I probably missed stuff.

WARNING: Major Spoilers for The Death Cure

Story Summary: Newt and Teresa both survive the destruction of the last city and are brought to the safe haven with all their friends. Newt is welcomed back with open arms, and most people learn to forgive Teresa, all but the one person she wants to forgive her the most. Oblivious!Newtmas and Enemies-to-lovers!Brendresa. Minho and Sonya are sick of their friend’s being stupid. A little bit of Soniet and Mingally because I’m weak for them. Sonya and Minho are an unexpected Brotp I now can’t live without. Might actually be even more chaotic than my last fic. Combining movie and book logic because I feel like it. Pining because I said so. I might make a playlist for this fic because I like playlists.

Chapter Summary: both Teresa and Newt unexpectedly wake up in the safe haven, and Minho and Sonya don’t even give them time to catch their breaths because they’ve spotted their OTP’s and they won’t stop until they get them together.

Chapter One: Fine Line Between Love and Hate

Part One: Teresa’s POV

Teresa used to think she knew everything. She’d been told so by many people. Those same people fed her so many lies, but it took her long to figure out that was one of them, maybe because that was the only lie she’d ever truly believed down deep in her heart. Thomas used to say she knew everything too, and maybe once he stopped believing that she did too. No matter the cause, she now knew that there were a lot of things she didn’t know, but she did know this one thing:

She was supposed to be dead.

The last thing she remembered were the walls of her lab in the last city coming down on her. She saw a large chunk of concrete hit Janson right in the face right before she hit her head on the floor and blacked out . She could assume the rest of the building went down shortly after that. That was the end of her life, right?

So you could imagine her confusion when she woke up in a cot, not in hell.

“Great, you’re alive,” A sarcastic voice said from beside her bed. She’d recognize that voice anywhere, it had plagued her dreams and nightmares for months in the last city, for reasons Teresa didn’t understand. But now the voice was more than just a nightmare. She’d assume she’d actually woken up in hell, but the person who spoke hadn’t died and sure as heck would not have ended up in hell. They were everything Teresa could not be, and for the longest time Teresa had hated them for it.

“Brenda,” Teresa gasped. She sat up, pushing the blankets off herself and swinging her legs over the bed. As soon as she lifted her head off the pillow she regretted it, her head pounding. Brenda sat on a stool next to the bed, her legs crossed, looking bored. Teresa must have flinched from the pain or something since Brenda threw her an ice pack.

“Concussion, you hit your head pretty badly back in the last city. When Minho and I got you out of there we thought you might be already dead. The medic’s say you’ll make a full recovery, you’ve just got to take it easy for a few weeks,” Brenda explained. Brenda looked different since the last time she’d seen her. She’d cut her hair again, not as short as she had it when the two first met, but shorter than it was when Brenda and all of Teresa’s former friends kidnapped her and forced her to tell them how to get into WICKED’s headquarters.

Brenda being alive was good. Brenda being alive meant that she made it out of WICKED headquarters, which meant at least a few others had to have. A wave of grief suddenly hit Teresa, not for Brenda but for Newt. Thomas never came before the building came down on her. Maybe they could have made another cure for their friend once they got out of the city and to wherever they were now, but Teresa remembers how Newt was the last time she saw him. He had an hour left in him, that’s if they were lucky. There’s no way he could have made it wherever they were without cranking out, and Newt would have never allowed himself to get that far, to get that close to hurting his friends.

One way or another, Newt was dead. Another person’s blood on Teresa’s hands, someone Teresa long ago considered to be one of her best friends. And he died hating her, and she'd given him every right too.

“Can you explain to me what happened?” Teresa asked once she could make herself speak again.

“You came over the speaker and gave a whole thousand word speech on how Thomas could save Newt. When we got to Newt with the serum Thomas had knocked him out to keep him alive. We gave him the serum and Thomas told us to go get you and the cure, so we did, but the building kind of fell apart. We got out just in time, we found you clutching the cure,” Brenda explained. Teresa exhaled, Newt made it. She didn’t have to add his name to the long list of those she killed. “I suggested we kill you, we got what we needed from you and someone else could recreate the cure. You can thank Thomas for being alive, he insisted we didn’t do anything to you. He was even hesitant about letting me take my shift watching over you, I guess he thought I’d strangle you in your sleep or something.”

“Where is he? Thomas?” Teresa asked.

“With Newt, we haven’t been able to peel him away from him since we got back.” Teresa couldn’t hide her grin, she always knew there was something going on between Newt and Thomas, even before the maze. She and Minho used to bet on them as children, betting their pudding cups on if they’d walk into a room holding hands or something like that.

But thanks to her none of her friends remembered that.

“I’m sorry Brenda, I really am. I know you have no reason to believe me, but I’ll do anything to prove it. I hurt you all, and you should hate me for the rest of eternity, but I really wanted to be your friend at one point. I still do.” Brenda stood up.

“Save it for someone who cares Teresa, ‘cause I sure don’t. I never liked you.” Brenda began to walk about of the shack they were in. Teresa didn’t know why the words hurt so much, she’d never liked Brenda either. They did though. Brenda turned around in the doorway. “I’ll let the others know you’re awake though, they’ve been worried, even if they won’t admit it.”

Part Two: Thomas’s POV

Thomas was half asleep when he heard Newt mutter something. He sat right up in his chair next to Newt, waiting. It had been over two weeks since they’d gotten back from the last city, and both Newt and Teresa hadn’t woke up.

“Tommy,” Newt mumbled.

“I’m right here Newt, it’s me,” Thomas said, leaning in closer. He felt guilty about it, but he hadn’t even gone to visit Teresa, wanting to be there when Newt woke up.

After a minute Newt’s eyes opened, and they were clear. The black veins had faded from his body shortly after they injected the cure into Thomas, but he hadn’t opened his eyes since then so Thomas saw the insane look in them every time he closed his eyes.

“Oh my god Newt, you’re alive,” Thomas threw is arms around his friend, pulling him into a tight hug, afraid to let go. Newt laughed in Thomas’s embrace.

“Still a bit confused on that part, care to explain how?” Newt said. A wave of relief hit Thomas again. He didn’t know what he would’ve done if Newt died, he couldn’t make it in a world without his best friend.

“Teresa,” Thomas said. “Teresa made a cure. It was my blood the whole time, she just figured it out first.” Thomas sighed. “I feel like an idiot Newt, I could have spared you all that pain the whole time.”

“Oh shut up you twat,” Newt said. “I would’ve died long before the flare without you. You save me every day just by being there. You-”

“Thomas!” Minho called, interrupting Newt’s statement which Thomas really wanted to hear the end of. “Teresa’s awake and looking for you.” Minho came into the tent.

“Good to see you too,” Newt said, rolling his eyes sarcastically and grinning fondly. Minho gasped and hugged Newt tightly.

“I was so worried,’ Minho said. “Don’t you ever scare me like that again you ugly shank.”

“Can’t breathe,” Newt gasped. Minho let go of Newt and laughed.

“Hold on, Gally and Frypan are with Teresa, but there’s one other person who’s been waiting for you to wake up,” Minho said before dashing out the tent. He came back a few minutes later with a familiar blonde girl by his side.

Sonya had explained to them all that when WICKED took her and Aris they’d given their memories back, but she’d never been able to tell Newt she remembered they were siblings before he ran off to follow Thomas.

“Do you remember me?” Sonya asked timidly from the doorway. Newt didn’t respond for a minute, and Sonya’s face fell. “That's a stupid question. You’ve met me after the swipe, you remember me as Sonya, but why would I think you’d remember me as-”

“How could I ever forget you Lizzy?” Newt said, his voice cracking. Tears streamed down Sonya’s face as it lit up and she attacked her brother with a strong embrace. “The flare must have damaged the swipe. I don't remember everything, but I remember some. Enough.” Thomas suddenly became conscious to the fact he was holding Newt’s hand.

“We’ll leave you two to catch up if you’d like,” Thomas offered. Newt squeezed his hand tightly.

“Please don’t go,” Newt said. “I want you to stay.” Thomas knew the words were directed at all of them, but it felt like they were meant just for him. His heart skipped a beat at the thought.

Part Three: Minho’s POV

Minho had always been a guy who was relatively fond of people around him falling in love, but he sure as hell wasn’t fond of people around him being completely oblivious to the fact that they’re in love.

Minho usually had his routine “Newt and Thomas were fools before all this and Thomas is an even bigger fool now because he still hasn’t realized his feelings for Newt” rant with Brenda and/or Gally, but Gally had gone to take his shift accompanying Teresa, who said she still wasn’t ready to face Thomas and Newt, and Brenda had stalked off after telling them Teresa had woken up.

So when Sonya plopped down next to Minho on the log he sat on in front of the bonfire and said, “Can Newt and Thomas just kiss already?” Minho figured she’d have to do.

Minho quickly stole a glance over to where the pair sat laughing on a log with Jorge and Vince. Thomas had his arm around Newt and Newt had his head rested on “Tommy’s” shoulder. When Minho made a comment on it they said “it’s just a bro thing”. Over the past few weeks Minho had sat like that with Gally multiple times, and it was most certainly not a bro thing.

“It’s so annoying isn’t it?” Minho said. “I was trapped in a maze and the scorch with them, I’ve been dealing with it a lot longer than you have.” It would cause Minho to rip out his hair, but his hair was so beautiful he couldn’t bring himself to do it.

“Even Aris caught onto it, and it took him to see Harriet and I kiss in front of him five times before he realized we were together back in the maze,” Sonya rolled her eyes.

A brilliant idea came to Minho. Of course, all of his ideas were brilliant, but this one was even more brilliant than the others.

“How about we put an end to this pining?” Minho asked Sonya, grinning wickedly.

“Got anything in mind?” She asked him. Sweet Sonya, sweet innocent Sonya. if only she knew he had not one thing in mind, but multiple things in mind that were all incredibly risky and might cause Vince to banish them all, but they all had the same result: Newt and Thomas getting together.

“I do, but we can’t do it alone. Get Harriet and Aris and I’ll get Gally, Frypan, Teresa, and Brenda and we can all meet at the beach tomorrow after curfew.”

“Should I be scared?”

“Probably, but not that much. I’ve done crazier things, and look at me, I’m still here.”

“Okay then.” Sonya was also grinning like crazy, and Minho knew this was the birth of a beautiful friendship, one built on interfering in other people’s for the better.

#the maze runner #newtmas #brendresa #soniet #mingally #Thomas tmr #newt tmr #brenda tmr #Teresa Agnes #Minho tmr #I promise there will be more Brendresa discussion next chapter #fix it fic #the fine line

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lizacstuff · 3 years ago

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Hey, Liza! Always look forward to your thoughts on the ep!:) so how did you like it along with the fragman? We only have 2 eps left, and not anticipating an ep Wednesday evening will be so unusual🥺

Thanks! I can't believe we're so close to the end. I'm sad, because this show has been my pandemic comfort show for a whole year now. What a joy it was to have this world and these characters every single Saturday last winter when so many of us were stuck inside and not seeing much of our family and friends (and while US TV was in limited production). I've also really enjoyed the cast's social media interaction and the amazing way they, and Hande and Kerem especially, gave of themselves and brought a little light, laughter and love into a dark time for many.

Ups and downs are unavoidable when you have a weekly two hour show that shoots on an unimaginably tight timeline with small budgets, and is 100% dependent on the love story of the protagonists. Add COVID to the mix and what a group of talented professionals to still turn out something so watchable and addicting week after week.

So kudos to the whole cast and crew, but special praise for Hande and Kerem who carried this show on their backs for 52 episodes and 58 weeks of shooting. They were able to create magic in every single episode, no matter what quality of material they were handed by a revolving door of writers. What a duo. I'm not sure I'll ever see a pair of better matched actors.

So while I'm sad the journey is ending and will miss the show, I'm also happy, because this show is going out the right way. The producers and network are giving this show and its fans the kind of send off that seems rare in the land of dizis: plenty of time and fully planned. Serkan and Eda are going to get the happiest of endings/beginnings. We're seeing glimpses of our OTP doing things that most shippers only ever dream about... or they only get in one five minute montage in the finale. Besides both characters overcoming their fatale flaws and finding happiness and fulfillment together, we've also gotten a multitude of shipper milestones, including numerous proposals, a wedding, a honeymoon, all the domestic moments we could ask for, them as parents, pregnancy and just all the happy family goodness.

This last batch of episodes have been so funny, sweet and gentle. This week, I was grinning like an idiot for almost the entire 2 hours. The comedy was A+ in this one. Serkan as a neurotically overbearing, but extremely loving and devoted father-to-be was spot on with what I think most of us expected of his character. Him wanting to take a moment to congratulate himself was priceless! And this episode filled my heart to the brim watching him fawn over Eda, whether it was them quietly at home, or him showing her the house he bought years ago. I will never be over him hassling Eda over going to the bathroom without him. What a treasure you are, Serkan Bolat!

It's a gift for Serkan to experience fatherhood from the start, but it's also a gift for Eda to have him with her every step of the way this time. I think that perspective will grant Eda patience as she navigates his well-meaning overprotectiveness. These two characters have been so marked by tragedy, that these happy moments, this happy ending, and the happy beginning they'll get to the rest of their lives feels so well earned.

On the lighter side, the whole gang at the office pretending to be employees was a great way to use the ensemble, and I admittedly laughed a lot at the silly misunderstandings floating around. A clever way to draw comedy from an episode with Serkan and Eda doing a very normal thing (keeping the pregnancy quiet until after the first trimester). How cute were Serkan and Kiraz as magicians? How adorable was Eda crying because she was so touched? How hilarious was that Ayfer/Serkan conversation? At least Serkan realized they couldn't have been talking about the same thing.

Speaking of supporting characters, what a relief it was to hear Ayfer blame herself for Eda's "depression" because she'd put so many roadblocks in their way. And, you know, vastly overstepped by creating an unnecessary custody fight. Finally some self awareness! Melo still deserves better than Burak, but that's happening so i won't go on about it. Piril and Engin still bore me, but I'll even miss them. Seyfi insisting that Kemal had a newfound family of four, not three, was surprisingly touching. He absolutely is a member of that family. And if any character is deserving of some mother-in-law headache, it's Aydan, so go Serkan's new grandma! Give her hell, lmao. The subtle evolution of Serkan and Kemal's relationship is great. Serkan is slowly accepting him into his life and it's wonderful to see a character who has never really felt a father's love realize it doesn't have to be that way. As crazy as their friends and family are, it's wonderful to see Serkan and Eda, and their growing family, surrounded by so much love. All in all, a funny, heartfelt episode as the series winds down.

#Sen Çal Kapımı #Sen Cal Kapimi #edser #sckask #sck episode discussion #edser discussion #asklizac #sck 2x50 #sck 2x11 #anonymous

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veliseraptor · 4 years ago

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top 5 Xue Yang quotes

I mean pretty much every time he opens his mouth I love it. But I guess if I had to pick single lines...I am going to put screencaps here. This is also all CQL because that’s what I’m more familiar with.

Under a read more because it got long. Surprising no one familiar with me and how this sort of thing goes. Featuring my new blog subtitle: A Whole Lotta Feelings About Xue Yang, and links to a bunch of my own older meta.

1. “You shouldn’t have gotten involved in other people’s business. Who’s right, who’s wrong? How much kindness, how many grudges. Can an outsider be clear about it? Maybe you shouldn’t have left the mountain.”

I wrote a whole meta post about this! I mean, I’ve written a whole lot of meta posts about Xue Yang generally, the amount of digital ink I’ve spilled over this character is, hm. Well.

But I just find this line fascinating for the ways in which it is, like many of the things that Xue Yang says in this scene, such a blend of emotions: anger, frustration, misery, disappointment.

There’s the “how dare you judge me” of it all, the “you’re so goddamn clueless you just don’t get it” of it, and then also the thing that I talked about in the linked meta - the “you would’ve been better served staying away from this stupid world, where you would’ve been safe and where you would’ve been safe from me.”

I have a lot of...thoughts, about the way that Xue Yang bounces back and forth between finding it hilarious that Xiao Xingchen is so nice to him while having no idea who he really is, finding it maddening that he is (he’s so stupid! how does he get away with being so stupid!), and finding it...something that he likes, and sort of wants him to keep (in a similar way, actually, to the way that I think Jin Guangyao wants Lan Xichen to keep his relative innocence).

And also the arc words/recurring sentiment of those questions of right and wrong, black and white. And the idea that that’s not a question Xue Yang has historically concerned himself with, but perhaps right now it might actually matter.

And right now he wants Xiao Xingchen to be on the same page, and at least for a half a second genuinely thought he might be.

2. “The finger is mine, while the lives are theirs.”

Obviously this is like. Peak Xue Yang line: pure solipsism, pure self-centered self-interest: my finger is mine and therefore it’s worth more than the lives of other people.

And there’s a lot to be said about that as a manifesto for Xue Yang - on one level I do think it’s just about how he thinks and perceives others: they just aren’t quite real to him, not in the way he himself is. Like, yes! They exist! Nominally they have “feelings” and “wants” or whatever, but conceptualizing that in any concrete way, or internalizing it, is...hard. It doesn’t seem quite real to him. They don’t seem quite real, not in the way that he is, himself.

And on the other hand I think there’s something about the way that Xue Yang weights his own value so heavily because he’s the only one who will. Nobody else is going to put any value on his hand or his finger. Xue Yang’s approach to life is very much “nobody’s going to give me anything, so I will get mine and fuck everyone else, if I don’t look out for me above all then it’s a short road to death.” And I think there’s elements of that here.

Or maybe a question: why should their lives be worth more than my body? Why should they be more valuable than me? And the answer, of course, is that they shouldn’t.

While I do think that Xue Yang has his insecurities and uncertainties, one thing that he refuses to doubt is that he has a right to exist and a right to get what’s his - even if that comes at the expense of others.

And I think, too, on some level he figures this is how everyone works. They probably think their fingers are worth his life. They’re wrong, obviously, and the fact that he won proves that. But they still believed it.

3. “Cultivator friend, I’ll plead guilty. But to submit to punishment...that depends if you’re able to catch me.”

Flirting is playing murder tag with a cute boy!

This is a less serious one but I love it because it is just...it’s not his intro intro (see below) but it also sort of is, in another way. And it is definitely an intro to his relationship with Xiao Xingchen, and I love it for that - for the way he shows up, perching on a house over an enormous massacre, and is just having the time of his life.

It’s so cheerfully playful, so bright, the way that he doesn’t even hesitate to be like “yes! I did kill all those people! what’re you gonna do about it :D”

(”does my gay little crime spree piss you off?”)

It sets up this dynamic between a Xiao Xingchen who is taking this all very seriously and a Xue Yang who is having a fantastic time and I just love it. New standard for your OTP meeting: if it doesn’t happen at the scene of a massacre for which one of them is responsible then what’s even the point.

4. “I don’t fear death, only boredom/living without a purpose.”

I wish!!! I knew whether this translation (”having no purpose in living” or the Netflix one (”boredom”) was more “””accurate””” - or if it doesn’t matter and the meaning is pretty close. If someone can tell me that’d be amazing. But either way - this is the moment where I was like “oh I’m screwed” when it came to adopting a new terrible character for my very own.

I have a huge glaring weak spot for characters who are very “death before boredom” about their lives - who look at their existence as sort of “here for a good time not a long time” and recognize that they’re not one for a long life but they’re going to make it one they can enjoy. That almost indifference to their own end weighed against the prospect of dullness - or, with the Viki translation, purposelessness.

And it does fit with how I think of Xue Yang as someone who sort of needs to have a drive or a goal, most of the time; who needs to be engaged and is easily bored. (This is one of the things that I think he has in common with Wei Wuxian! Sorry, buddy, you’re more alike than you’d like to acknowledge.)

But it also demands such a contrast with the fact that he does, later on, settle down into domestic relative tranquility - into something that would look, to a lot of people, and maybe even to his past self, like boredom.

And yet it doesn’t bore him.

And I just. You know. Have a lot of feelings about that.

5. “Very well. Would I be afraid of people’s disgust? However, are you qualified to feel disgusted by me?”

tfw you see your great fake life starting to go to pieces and decide you’re going to detonate your nuclear weapon in it because hey, might as well take everyone down with you, right?

I love this because it’s one of those things where it’s true and it’s not - I do not think, generally, that Xue Yang really cares about people’s disgust. He sometimes even relishes it! I mean, I think a certain kind of dehumanization sets him off, but in general - yes, I’m’s horrible, yes, I’m disgusting, yes, sure, do I care? Nope.

But it is pretty clear here, both in terms of facial expression and reactions, that Xiao Xingchen’s judgment does hit home. That his anger and dismissal of Xue Yang’s story, of his exposure of a vulnerability he doesn’t usually allow, hits pretty hard. From Xue Yang’s perspective, he’s taken a risk, and Xiao Xingchen answered it with a slap in the face. (Wrote a bunch about this here.)

And in that hurt he responds, immediately, by lashing out - by using the weapon he’s held in reserve. I’ve written before about how I think Xue Yang prior to this point was in sort of “the fierce corpses thing can stay between me and the fierce corpses now” mode about his extracurricular activities with Xiao Xingchen, but it’s still there, and he knows exactly what he’s doing here. After all, that revenge was always tailored: it was always about bringing Xiao Xingchen down to his level and proving that he’s no better, and never has been any better.

But I will never get over the look on his face over that first line, where he’s saying “would I be afraid of people’s disgust” and while the words imply no his face is definitely saying yes, at least when it’s you.

BONUSES:

Most of his conversation with Wei Wuxian but especially the bit about slowly and intimately doing experimental necromancy, but also Xue Yang inviting Song Lan in for lunch.

Come on, Song Lan! Just take the free meal! It’ll be fine.

#blackteaaddict #conversating #xue yang #the sad queer cultivators show #lise does meta #you can see why these take me so long perhaps

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placebogirl7 · 4 years ago

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Why Jodie is so hated in DC fandom? - Analysis of an underestimated character and clarification about wrong assumptions

Preliminary remark: this post is just a personal opinion. No intention to start wars of any kind, I respect everyone’s opionion so I want my opinion to be respected too. If you don’t share it, it’s totally ok as it’s totally ok if I don’t share yours.

During these last 5 years I’ve been back into DC fandom, I notice all around the web many people spreading hate towards Jodie (not only here on Tumblr but everywhere, especially in forums and social media pages). It’s ok to not like a character, but you need valid reasons to hate it. If you hate it for bullshit, then it’s only hate based on nothing. And this is what I see everytime I read a bad comment about Jodie’s character. This is really annoying for a fan, to be honest. Now I want to point out some of the most popular reason why Jodie is hated and analyze them (maybe I have already explained my point of view about them in some other posts in the last years, but I will clarify them again).

1) “Jodie has become useless, she’s no more interesting and mysterious as she was at the beginning” You (Jodie haters) really notice this change only in Jodie’s character? Because I can mention at least other 10 characters who, at their first appearance, were described as mysterious and cool and whatever else, but now are “lying on the shelf” for Gosho’s choise. Jodie has been introduced in a mysterious way becase she was suspected to be Vermouth, so Gosho created the suspance around her character and made her act in a shifty way to make the readers believe that she could be one of the BO members. Once it has been revealed that she wasn’t bad, there were no more need to make her act in a shifty way. Many other character who were suspected to be Bo members but in the end were not have shared the same fate. But it’s Gosho’s decision, not Jodie’s fault. It’s not something related to her way of being, it’s a choise of the author. She has become usless? Ok, let’s face the reality: who is useful among the characters? A very few. Let’s take all the FBI Team: Gosho has painted them as a bunch of idiots that without Akai can’t do nothing. To make Akai “shine” he has denigrated Jodie, James and Camel. Camel doesn’t do nothing of his own, he always wait for Akai’s orders; James is supposed to be the chief but actually he does what Akai says; Jodie seems to make mistakes everytime she did something, even if she’s doing it in the right way. But again, it’s not their fault because we have seen them doing even very good things and being brilliant, so they have potential: it’s Gosho who decided to treat them like dumbs so Akai can be like a God who will save all of us. Don’t get me wrong, I love Akai, but I hate what Gosho is doing to put him in the spotligh. Again, it’s Gosho’s fault, not the characters who suddenly became usless and not interesting. The hate should be towards Gosho, not Jodie.

2) “After Akai’s death Jodie has become so annoying, she’s weak and she’s always crying” Ok...question for you Jodie haters: if you suddenly lose someone you love, what will be your reaction? Will you laugh as you were watching a sitcom, will you organize a big party with your friends or will you start throwing confetti in the air? Because if you do one if these 3 things, then...congratulations, you have won the highest award for the most cool /stone-harted/ heartless person in this world! You have no rivals, not even Shuichi Akai who is now jealous of you! Seriously...if the man you love so much dies suddenly, it’s LEGITIMATE to cry, to be desperate, to lose yourself. It’s like losing a part of you. But despite feeling lost, Jodie has been the only one among the FBI who never believed to Akai’s death since the beginning and she fought long and hard to find out the truth behind his death. Since when on the TV they show the incident at Rahia Pass and they say a man was dead burned in his car, she immediately thought that it wasn’t Shuichi and that he had surely used a trick to escape. Guess what? She was right! Do you still think she’s stupid? Jodie isn’t weak, she just faced an emotional breakdown due to the loss of a person she loved. This is being human, not being weak. Jodie isn’t always crying, she cried when everything and everyone around her was making her believe that Shuichi was really dead. At a certain point she stopped crying, when she saw hope, a hint that Shu was still alive. She isn’t a crybaby, she just needed hope.

3) “Since Akai’s death, Jodie hasn’t done anything interesting or exciting, she has become boring” If you didn’t notice by yourself, then I will reveal you the biggest secret of all: after Akai’s death, or better to say after the end of Scarlet Arc when Jodie and Camel discovered about Shuichi being alive and hiding behind Subaru’s identity...FBI hasn’t appeared anymore in the manga for ages, since the last files which came our recently! How are they (included Jodie) supposed to do something exciting or interesting if they don’t even appear? Gosho put them in the closet with the naphthalene and he concentrated his attention on other characters (first of all Amuro, which in my opinion deserves more hate than Jodie because of his behaviour but somehow is adored as a God in the fandom).Then one day he get up and he had the big flash of genius: “FBI still exist in my story, so better take them out of the closet and make them do something”. But in the end, as always, only Akai did something relevant. Camel has been a puppet in the hand of Akai and Jodie made a mistake. So, again, it’s not Jodie who have changed and become a worst character, it’s how Gosho is painting her and the other FBI agents which makes them appear less interesting or capable at the eyes of the readers.

4) “Jodie has become stupid” About this I made a “funny” post long time ago, so I will put the link below. I think it’s enough to explain all:

https://placebogirl7.tumblr.com/post/156414088650/jodie-has-become-more-and-more-stupid

I will also add something that surely will unleash the wrath of somebody and maybe they will start complain, but I honestly don’t care because it’s nothing against someone in particular but just something I noticed. This is absolutely not an attempt to start a ship war nor a free criticism end in itself, because I reaspect everyone ship and opinion even if I don’t agree with that. The fact is that I noticed that often (not always of course, but often) these criticism about Jodie are moved by ShuKemi fans, and considering what I said above it seems that their hate for Jodie is just because Jodie was Akai’s girlfriend before Akemi and she has the possibility (if Gosho wants) to be his girlfriend again the future, not really because they analyzed Jodie’s character before spreading shit about it. So I would like to point out to these ShuKemi fans who idolize Akemi’s character so much and tell shits about Jodie that Akemi sentenced herself to death with her own hands after making the worst and wrong choise she could have ever done in her life. I’ve seen many times Akemi being called “a hero” but chosing to death without obtaining nothing in return isn’t being a hero, it’s just being stupid in my opinion. Being a hero is another thing. You’re an hero if you sacrifice yourself with the goal to obtain something that worth your sacrifice, but if you sacrifice yourself knowing that you won’t obtain nothing apart from your death...well, that’s not being a hero at all. And before someone will say “You talk like this because you’re a ShuJodie fan”, please be aware that Akemi’s death has been shown before Jodie appearance and before knowing that Jodie had a relationship with Shu before he started dating Akemi, so I would have no reason to say these things just because of such trivial matters. The reason why I’ve never been touched by Akemi’s death since the beginning is because I think she has consciously chosen to die since the beginning of her “masterplan”. C’mon, how can you really think to make a deal with criminals? There’s a reason if they are criminals... She really thought that Gin would have kept his promise? If the answer is yes, then I’m sorry to say that but she’s stupid twice. So before saying that Jodie is the stupid one, at least analyze the things deeply and objectively.

Now I know that this will make someone mad but I’m sorry, it’s what I think. And not because I see Akemi as a “threat” for Jodie’s relationship with Shuichi, as I always said I don’t need to spread shit on some character to covince myself and the other that my couple is better, I really don’t need this. I love my couple and stop, the rest doesn’t matter. If I don’t like a character, there’s always a deeper motivation behind, which has nothing to do with OTPs and trivial matters like that. But before saying I don’t like a character and draw up charges on it, I always analyze the character. I’m sorry that nobody do it with Jodie.

Please also note that I used Akemi as example of character being idolized for no real reason because, as I said, I noticed that who talk shits about Jodie are often ShuKemi fans, but there are also other characters of course who are idolized when they actually have nothing to be idolized for. Another example is Amuro, I recently made a post about what I think of him. Now if you don’t like what I think and what I said you are free to unfollow me, I’m sorry but I really needed to make this post because it has become more and more annoying to see nonsense unkindness things about Jodie.

Peace, love and Jodie Starling ♥

#jodie starling #detective conan analysis #jodie starling analysis #I'm tired of non sense hate #possible light spoilers but not so much #detective conan #jodie #personal opinion #akemi #comparison #analysis #tired of this shit

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catherineflowers29 · 4 years ago

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Hi! I'm the anon from before! Oh, thank God. I was worried I upset you because JB shippers get so defensive when someone is critical of their ship or Jaime (btw I'm a Brienne stan before a JB shipper.)

I think your story is so great and feminist... the fact that Brienne was allowed to be angry at Jaime and make the choice to fuck Addam and still be the doting mother and a warrior who inspires women (also thank you for no boring Sansa/Brienne friendship). I loved how she said "fuck that" to any of Jaime's weakass explanations and whenever that bitch was like, "are we good? have you forgiven me? can we fuck?" and she just went like "wtf no you're the worst." like YES. It fucking bothered me the way those S8 apologists defended Jaime's "addiction" and liked the offensive disgusting white book scene. FFS LET WOMEN BE ANGRY. LET WOMEN HAVE A STORYLINE THAT ISN'T TIED TO SOME GARBAGE MAN. LET WOMEN SLEEP WITH MEN INSTEAD OF THEIR ASSIGNED LOVE INTERESTS AND LET THEM ENJOY IT TOO. LET WOMEN BE BITTER AND UNFORGIVING AND COMPASSIONATE AND MOTHERLY AND BRAVE AND AWESOME AT THE SAME TIME. ALL THESE THINGS CAN EXIST IN ONE WOMAN. IT'S ALLOWED. AND BRIENNE IS NO BETTER OR WORSE IF SHE CHOOSES TO BE UNFORGIVING. I HATE DUDEBROS.

I don't think you should be unhappy with your story! Your story has amazing dialogue and internal thoughts, well-rounded characters, and Brienne of Tarth being awesome. If anything, you were too nice to Jaime by having him be happy and giving him a purpose. You should subvert my expectations, lovely author! Don't have Brienne forgive Jaime and get into a relationship with him! Make her kick him to the curb! Break his heart! Piss on his corpse! Probably JB shippers will be mad at you but I've got your back. The REAL Brienne fans know that Jaime did Brienne so dirty, and no bs addiction or duty can justify that!

Ok that's enough... and WTF why would people think your fic is controversial. IMO we should bully the writers who had Brienne easily forgive Jaime and take him back just like that. Fuck them all. I only respect YOU. You got me into shipping Addam/Bri and also validated my anger. Also I was busy, didn't know you updated your fic. Gonna read it now. Not gonna lie, I'll be a little upset if she chooses Jaime because I thought the glass throwing scene was written to show the tragic end of their relationship and how there's no coming back, but I did want to know your thoughts.

Bless you, kind reader.

I’ve had a lot of thoughts about why my fic is considered controversial. The subject matter in it really isn’t that “dark” in the traditional fic sense. There’s no rape or major character death, it’s not torture porn or anything. And yet, there was rage about it on Reddit, it was banned from being discussed on Discord, and a BNF decided (very hurtfully, I might add) to call me out on Twitter because she had formed a judgement based solely on my tags. I have also been blocked by numerous people in the fandom that I have never so much as had an interaction with. I’ve also had a LOT of shitty comments and anons here and there from people who seem really angry that I had the temerity to write this fic.

That genuinely surprised me. I knew it wouldn’t be everyone’s cup of tea - what fic is? But there have been times when I have felt like a total pariah and not wanted to interact with other members of the fandom in case they feel the same way. Whatever way you slice it, that’s shitty behaviour.

Largely, when we ship something, particularly when it’s an OTP, we think of that relationship as an ideal. It’s escapism, it’s perfect in ways that our real relationships never can be. I think that’s why, for so many of us, 8.04 was really devastating. Jaime and Brienne are also a ship about acceptance and understanding, of a deep connection that transcends surface impressions - they both see each other for who they really are. That means a LOT to us, I think. I think we all long for that kind of relationship and exploring it in our fandom gives all of us so much happiness. We are in love with their love.

In their portrayal of the JB relationship, D&D ABSOLUTELY got that wrong. I absolutely do not dispute that. I think a LOT of people were angry with me because they confused what I was writing as being supportive of D&D’s take in some way, because I treated it as canon. Some writers were able to paper over the end of the show, dismiss it as bad writing and move on, or write fic where Jaime changes his mind, Brienne forgives him, and then they carry on with what we wanted.

I just couldn’t do that. God knows I tried. But if I had been in Brienne’s position, I absolutely would have been as pissed as fuck about what Jaime did. I don’t accept that he went back for Cersei as a brother, or that Brienne wasn’t crying for herself but only for him and his lost honour. Being dumped HURTS, particularly when you loved someone and thought you had a future, and then he walks out in the middle of the night without saying goodbye. Brienne had SO MUCH backstory about being hurt and humiliated by men, having the first man who loved her, the man she gave her virginity to, treat her that way would fuck her up.

I’m not saying that anyone who disagrees with me is wrong, and I never have. I don’t have the definitive knowledge of these characters, none of us do. I only have my take, my experience, my style.

I just couldn’t write about their relationship as being idyllic and perfect any more. Is it a reflection of who I am as a person and as a writer? That’s certainly been the accusation several dozen times. Maybe. It’s certainly a reflection of how I feel women put up with too much shit from men and are expected to be kind and forgiving in return. I HATE that with a passion.

Angry women are really controversial. They make people of all genders feel very uncomfortable. Sexually confident women do, too, and I think my story was the perfect storm of those two elements, really. People who want escapism from realistic relationships where people don’t live happily-ever-after really took exception to its very existence.

I don’t hold it against anyone for it not being their cup of tea, or if they disagree with my take. God knows there are kajillions of fics out there that aren’t my bag too. Things I’ve rolled my eyes at, things I’ve fundamentally disagreed with, things I’ve been horrified to read. But not once have I ever felt the need to be a public douchebag about it. I’ve never felt the need to make a writer stop writing.

So thank you so much for taking the time to send me this. It does make a really nice change to get an anon be so positive and affirming to me as a writer!

I really hope that you enjoy the end of the story. And that you will enjoy the reboot in a few weeks where we stick with Brienne’s POV and I turn the volume down on some of the elements that I don’t like about the story myself. Not the rage though, or the Addam banging. That’s staying!

#braime #jaime x brienne #s8 salt #fanfic #fic discussion #Anonymous

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sifeng · 4 years ago

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Love and Redemption: Some Thoughts and a Comparison with Ashes of Love

So, I’ve been watching Love and Redemption (琉璃) and while there are some visible faults, I also quite like some plot points and characters. So here are some of my thoughts and also, if your an Ashes of Love fan I totally recommend you check this drama out! The themes are similar, the character setups are similar, the worlds are similar too.

I’ve just finished the 35th episode, and I’ve gotten to a point where a flower creature of sorts has been forced to become Ling Long 2.0. I actually really like this idea because it shows that a lot of people become evil because of the people they are around, not because they are naturally evil, their personality is naturally cruel or anything else of the sort. Ling Long grew up around “orthodox” people that, while also imperfect, weren’t sadistic like Wu Tong. Because of that she became a person that liked to fight for peace and removal of evil from the world. However, when her exact same personality was placed in a different atmosphere without previous memories she became just as sadistic and cruel as the people around her. I think that actually fits super well with the overall theme of this drama, which is that good and bad aren’t black and white. Even a person who is “good” in the subjective sense of that term can just as easily be “evil” if placed in a different growth environment. Honestly I find it so interesting that Ling Long went from A Zhu to A Zi (Demi-Gods and Semi-Devils reference) in like one episode.

A Comparison

When I first started liking cdramas, one of my first favorites was Ashes of Love (香蜜沉沉烬如霜), but I actually like this drama more. First of all, I think the pacing is better. The beginning of AoL was a little draggy now that I think about it, and Jin Mi only began to really show her feelings for Xu Feng around episode 30 (and it wasn’t even Jin Mi liking Xu Feng it was Saintess liking the King). In comparison, in Love and Redemption, we see from the very start that Xuanji likes Sifeng in a different manner then she likes, for example, Minyan, thus not only making it easier to ship them, but also being able to get to the tragic elements of the story faster. The CGI in Love and Redemption is simply amazing, beats 99% of cdramas honestly. I wish the cinematography was a little better because with this level of CGI, it truly deserves better camerawork.

Also, I dislike when people call Xuanji stupid, because while in the beginning she is a little dumb, she really isn’t as bad as some other characters out there. She’s like what 20? And she’s never left home or her training place in her life. Why would anyone expect her not to make trouble? Or get in trouble? That’s like teaching how to memorize all the math formulas in the world, but not teaching you how to use them and then blaming you for not being able to apply them. I haven’t gotten to the really tragic part where Xuanji and Sifeng get separated, but so far I like her more than Jin Mi honestly. Xuanji might not be the smartest person, but I love how trustworthy she is of her friends and how high she holds her friendships. Unlike so many of the adults in this series, she actually uses logic to try to understand problems not just problematic and contradictory pieces evidence. Like when Minyan is accused of being betraying their sect, she doesn’t just go “oh there’s ‘evidence’? Then he must be guilty”, she actually thinks about his character and personality and how illogical it would be if he actually betrayed them.

I also like Sifeng more than Xu Feng. When he was being accused of being a demon, he managed to bring up inarguable pieces of evidence that clearly proved he was not a demon, or at least not a problematic one instead of just going like “you should believe me because I’m so great!” (not that Xu Feng did that, but he did use ethos instead of logos, though, both apparently don’t work if you’re a male lead in a tragic xianxia). The tragedy of his character is done so well honestly. He died for Xuanji in 9 lifetimes. NINE. Please give him a happy ending. (Okay but I really dislike his second hairstyle with the two strings of hair hanging out and also Teng She’s hairstyle. Why can’t they just tuck that piece of hair in? It makes me feel so annoyed for some reason.)

No one likes Hao Chen, and I’m glad. He hates people manipulating Xuanji, but he manipulates her all the time. I do agree that if Xuanji is happy without her six senses, she shouldn’t be forced to search for them, but she isn’t happy and she wants to search for them. So why should anyone who actually likes her try to prevent that? But I actually think his character is written relatively well. As the ruler (or second in command?) of the heavenly realm, he has to put matters in front of romance, though that doesn’t mean he has to manipulate her. I understand why he does what he does and I don’t think his character is as illogical as Wu Tong, but yeah, I definitely don’t agree with what he does. In comparison, Run Yu is truly quite likable. He does try to keep Jin Mi to himself instead of letting her be happy, but overall his story is written really well and evokes our sympathy.

Oh and when it comes to friendships I also prefer the ones in Love and Redemption. First of all, it’s not just Xuanji and Sifeng who are cute together, I like that Sifeng is friends with Ling Long and Minyan as well, and they also become friends with Yanran (or Xiao Yinhua) and Ruoyu as well (though they could’ve avoided some tragedy if they hadn’t befriended him). I don’t know why, but I’m really excited to see what tragedy our OTP goes through later on, because I’ve seen the gifsets on Tumblr and boy am I excited for some tragedy!

But one thing that is better about AoL is definitely the acting. I think Cheng Yi and Yuan Bingyan did pretty good here, especially Cheng Yi, but Yang Zi, Deng Lun and Luo Yunxi (especially Yang Zi and Luo Yunxi) are more experienced and thus obviously better, especially when it comes to really emotional scenes.

FInal Thoughts

One problem I have with Love and Redemption, at least so far, is that the evil demons have no motivations to be as evil as they are. I’m pretty sure I’ll get a reason, but so far I have to say that they aren’t really well done characters in that sense. Especially Wu Tong. Like this guy has no backstory whatsoever, but is extremely cruel and sadistic from the first second we meet him. Maybe he’s like really just insane or something, but his whole “sympathy story” for why he joined the demons makes zero sense. He wanted to murder someone because him cheating gets revealed and then gets mad that the father of the person he tried to kill wants to get revenge. His story also contains two (as of so far) unexplained plot holes: 1. why every single sect decided to chase after him and 2. why he managed to escape death despite a bunch of skilled martial artists running after him for like a really long time.

Lastly, I like the fact that the orthodox people aren’t exactly “evil” but their goodness is what makes them annoying. They don’t mean harm when they tried to test if Sifeng was a demon or if Minyan is a betrayer, they truly are thinking for the overall good, but their constant paranoia and need to do “what is right” and not “what makes sense” is truly what makes them unbearable. They sometimes throw away all logic for love, or sacrifice their own daughter in order to “do what’s right” instead of actually thinking of a method to not only save the daughter and keep the world at peace. It’s because of their goodness that they are able to be manipulated into idiocracy by Li Ze Palace.

Oh and one last thought. I don’t know if it’s on purpose, but the lack of people in the heavenly realm is really interesting. Like, maybe the producers didn’t have enough money, or shots of the heavenly realm with more than like ten people (not in war) don’t exist in the book either, but it creates the image that the realm is super empty. The human realm, despite all its faults and cruelties, feels so much more alive and full of life in comparison to the boring and cold looking heavenly realm.

#cdrama #cdrama recommendations #love and redemption #琉璃 #ashes of love #香蜜沉沉烬如霜

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hiirolangley · 4 years ago

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Okay, we’re discussing Maruma ships now so here are some not on the main list yet! + my rambling and disjointed thoughts as they occurred to me.

So there was the brief Flynn x Yuuri mutual crush thing that happened in Shimaron. The almost-touch in Big Shimaron when Flynn reaches out to him springs to mind as well as the 'kiss' to knock Yuuri out and their dance at the ball where they just end up holding each other. Although Yuuri very clearly decides in his brain not to like her in the end and Flynn is like, I'm married to Caloria, there was still a little something there (and it probably partially contributed to how much Wolf hates her XD). Throwing in my thoughts about this one here... it's kinda ehhhhhhhhhhhhh..... I mean, Wolfram is one thing because the whole mazoku aging thing, but Flynn is a human in her twenties and Yuuri is sixteen. It's definitely ehhhhhh.......... I’m not calling the police or anything especially since nothing happened, just giving it a major side-eye. In any case, this crush is significant because once Yuuri decides in words in his head not to fall in love with her, he stops looking at women altogether. Name another woman from that point on that he fanboys over like he did all the time prior to meeting Flynn.

Sticking to Flynn, Flynn x Norman were a married couple and they did truly seem to be in love. Just by how much she fights for her late husband's land and people and talks about how she regrets never having the chance to have his children and how she completely betrayed her family's expectations to infiltrate Norman's family for political fuckery, I think it's pretty obvious.

Also Conrad x Maidmer Princess!!! How could you forget the most iconic pairing of the entire series!! XDDD She's the one and only woman Conrad out loud admits to being in love with (although honestly not sure how that worked because they couldn't even have a conversation, but oh well). The story this came from also gave us many fun moments ranging from Josak trying to set extremely obviously straight Conrad up with a group of crossdressers, Gwendal's mind getting blown like 10x in a row thinking that extremely obviously straight Conrad was sleeping with men (including Josak) but then trying to assure Conrad through his shock that he’ll be okay with it while Conrad freaks out, Gwendal wholeheartedly ready to accept a fish lady as his sister in law, Yuuri accidentally insulting the fuck out of Conrad's room, Conrad being worried that Yuuri was calling him boring for a minute before getting mentally smacked in the face by Yuuri complaining about being rated 88% unfuckable (and Conrad thinking to himself, well yeah of course), and just Conrad's POV in general which is always fun because he is a little shit XDDD Also I love when he was thinking to himself, I spent the war sleeping with all sorts of women, some of whom were married, and when the war was over people called me a Whore Prince... and then the first complaint he makes about that is along the lines of I’m not a prince, dumbasses. What a fucking gift to humanity that story was.

Getting off my Crack!otp, there’s Cherie's 3 husbands! I think volume 5's prologue sums that up best so I’ll just direct people there.

And then, Yuuri’s parents! Shouma x Miko. The couple that should not have lasted because they literally went on like 5 dates before Shouma confessed to being a mazoku and Miko was like OMG MARRY ME NOW SO I CAN HAVE MAZOKU BABIES despite thinking he was lame af beforehand... and then they got married XDD I feel like every time they appear on page together they get into an argument or misunderstanding, but they’re still together so /shrug

That’s all I can think of right now~

Moving on...

My otp for this series is the royal couple. How often is my otp the official endgame couple!? NEVER! Lord knows I get Second Lead Syndrome on every damn story I read/watch, but for this series I’m not rooting for Conrad. Way back in my early maruma fangirling days, I liked Yuuram and Conyuu equally because who doesn’t love anyone Morikawa Toshiyuki voices? I know that could be hard to believe I liked opposing ships the same amount, but that’s an actual thing that happened. Once I grew up, the Conyuu went away. That kinda sounds insulting to Conyuu shippers, but it’s not. Let me explain~ Psychoanalyzing myself, me liking Conyuu was more me being like, Conrad would be the perfect boyfriend! instead of Conrad and Yuuri are great together!, but when I got older I was like, holy hell he would actually be the worst boyfriend after a while no thanks??? XDDDDD That’s a whoooole other post I probably won’t make~ Anyway, we all have embarrassing college-aged memories whether you attended or not so let’s move on.

Anyway, I know Conyuu is baited all the time and rereading the Maidmer Princess story reminded me that Conrad says looking at Yuuri’s sleeping face gave him the same feeling as looking at the maidmer he fell in love with, but there’s no way that relationship’s gonna pan out canonically. I feel like I’m playing with fire saying that though o.o

Moving on again, ships I fully support would be:

Yuuri x Wolf

Gwendal x Anissina

Adalbert x Julia (you know, in a posthumous way)

And you know what??? Josak x Murata. The chaos. The pure Bisexual Chaos™. I’m here for that.

Also on the topic of couples! Let’s talk about Nicola and Hube. I have feelings here. Say what you want about Wolfram, at least he’s mentally on the same page as Yuuri. Gegenhuber is a whole ass man who knocked up a 15/16 year old. I know they made her older in the anime, but don’t believe those lies! Do I need to elaborate how he’s gross? I don’t think so. BUT, I do like how sensei filtered it through Yuuri’s POV. (Fyi, I realize the following is partially headcanon) As an also 16yo, this grossness does not cross Yuuri’s mind at all. In fact, the only thing he remarks on is that he can’t believe she was pregnant and getting married to another man ... but it crosses Gwendal’s. Adult Gwendal is FURIOUS when he finds out Nicola is pregnant. He was already mad because he hates Gegenhuber and was getting irritated that he and Nicola were in love/told her he’d use the mateki to help humans, but when he finds out she’s preggers and they totally had sex he loses his shit. I dunno, it’s like sensei properly communicated that a teenager wouldn’t necessarily recognize the fucked-up nature of a man in his twenties (or the mazoku version of that) starting a relationship with a 15yo and that they also might misinterpret the anger of the older people who do know better.

And like a cherry on top, Gwen’s anger is solely directed at Gegenhuber, not Nicola. After this adventure, Gwendal personally takes super good care of Nicola and makes sure she’s set up nicely with the Grisela family and even visits her regularly... and then when Gegenhuber wakes up, Gwendal almost kicks him to death. Seriously, he literally kicked him so much Anissina had to heal him so he wouldn’t die (and while she was healing him she was like, you’re fucking gross and I wouldn’t care if you dropped dead here, but I kinda have to do this.) I dunno, I feel like there are so many reasons for people to hate Gegenhuber, I can’t make the claim that this is 100% significantly adding to the hatred. Would you notice another drop in a bucket? But this is my opinion on the matter~ Anyway, it’s 1:30am and I need to stop typing!

#manniversary 2020 #MA event #kyou kara maou #maruma

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merakilyy · 4 years ago

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Tales of an Unsuccessful Matchmaker

Six months after the Guanyin temple, Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji still aren’t together. Jingyi snaps because if his oblivious seniors can't talk about their feelings, then Jingyi is going to take matters into his own hands and make them talk.

Naturally, he enlists the help of Lan Xichen to matchmake a little.

Just a little.

(In which Sizhui is 100% of Jingyi's impulse control, Wangji is lonely, Jingyi may or may not break into the Hanshi via window, and Xichen is surprisingly permissive.)

Tags: Wangxian, post-canon, matchmaking, accidental secret marriage, Jingyi being a menace who just wants his otp to get together already

(On AO3) Wordcount: almost 7600

~~~

If you asked Lan Sizhui, he would describe Lan Jingyi as a cesspool of bad ideas. He would say it with affection and add that Jingyi is still a very talented cultivator whose penchant for more creative solutions has provided much entertainment during their night hunts and saved his life at least once, but it was unofficially Sizhui’s job to keep Jingyi’s worst impulses in line.

However, with Sizhui travelling with Wen Ning outside Gusu for several months, there was no one left to temper Jingyi’s wilder ideas.

Furthermore, Sizhui had inadvertently planted another questionable idea into the mind of Lan Jingyi in his most recent letter.

Lan Jingyi,

I hope that you are well and that you have not caused Grandmaster Lan to suffer another aneurysm.

Uncle Wen Ning and I went to visit the Burial Mounds. It is just as barren as the last time we were there but Uncle Wen Ning told me stories of how Wei- qianbei learned to restrain the resentful energy so they could farm the land and grow radishes. No potatoes, though. It is not a nice place, and even the best memories are bittersweet, but it is a part of my past and I am happy to learn all that I can about my first family. Uncle Wen Ning says Wei- qianbei even managed to grow lotuses in the Burial Mounds. Can you imagine? I thought Uncle Wen Ning was teasing me until I saw three dried lotus seeds in the dirt.

Briefly, Jingyi wondered when the fearsome Ghost General became Uncle Wen Ning to Sizhui, to himself, and to all the other junior disciples. Was it before they accidentally turned Wen Ning green from an aggressive plant spirit, or was it after Wen Ning paused a night hunt so he could rescue a kitten from a tree as they all watched? Jingyi didn’t ponder this very long; his thoughts quickly drifted elsewhere as he continued reading.

After we left the Burial Mounds, we ran into Wei- qianbei and Lil’ Apple in Yiling. He says that he’s been travelling on his own for the past few months. I was surprised that he’s been gone for so long without Hanguang-jun at his side. He seems tired. Later, I asked Uncle Wen Ning about Hanguang-jun and he simply said Wei- qianbei and Hanguang-jun know each other best. I am not sure what that means but Uncle Wen Ning did not say more on that subject. Before Wei-qianbei parted ways with us, I offered him the lotus seeds I found in the Burial Mounds but Wei- qianbei refused. He said that I should hold onto them until he can settle down somewhere to plant them. Do you think he’ll ever come back to Cloud Recesses?

Sizhui’s letter went on a bit more to say he and Uncle Wen Ning were going to Lanling next and that they might visit Sect Leader Young Mistress Jin but Jingyi’s mind had already begun churning with a new idea.

Sizhui had said nothing about whether or not Wei Wuxian was lonely but he was alone! And tired! With only that stupid donkey! So of course he was lonely without Hanguang-jun at his side. Furthermore, Uncle Wen Ning was the one who knew the most about Wei- qianbei and Hanguang-jun’s relationship and describing them as those who know each other best is basically confirmation that Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji are soulmates.

Plus, Wei-qianbei was waiting to settle down somewhere. Somewhere with enough space to grow lotus flowers. But, also somewhere where Sizhui could easily give him the seeds which meant Cloud Recesses. And, since Hanguang-jun lived in Cloud Recesses, Wei-qianbei must be waiting for Hanguang-jun to confess so he can settle down in the Jingshi. In Cloud Recesses.

Rather proud of his ability to read between the lines, Jingyi began to formulate a plan with his newfound knowledge.

~~~

When he woke up the next day, Jingyi reviewed his plan from the previous night and almost considered scrapping it as he realized he forgot to account for Hanguang-jun’s feelings. Even though Uncle Wen Ning almost confirmed Hanguang-jun’s feelings, how well did Uncle Wen Ning really know Hanguang-jun?

As he finished tying his forehead ribbon in place, Jingyi decided to shelve his plan until he could properly ascertain Hanguang-jun’s feelings towards Wei- qianbei . For now, he decided to simply gather evidence of Hanguang-jun’s feelings.

Evidence, as it turned out, was not difficult to find.

As he headed towards the cafeteria for breakfast, Jingyi saw Hanguang-jun sitting on the porch of the Jingshi in a chair that Jingyi had only ever seen Wei Wuxian use before. Hanguang-jun was impeccably dressed as always, an intricate guan woven into his hair and without a wrinkle to be seen on his spotless white robes. With a pot of tea balanced on the window ledge beside him, Hanguang-jun was reading a letter. Ducking behind a pillar, Jingyi watched as Hanguang-jun flipped through page after page of writing. There were so many pages that Jingyi initially thought the letter might actually be documents from other Sects requiring mediation from the Chief Cultivator. But after taking a closer look, Jingyi saw how a few pages contained doodles in the margins and only one person could be so shameless. Even without seeing the messy scrawl, Jingyi knew it was from Wei Wuxian because no one else would send such ridiculously long-winded letters — especially not to Hanguang-jun. No one else dared send long, verbose letters to a man whose Sect literally had rules that restricted the use of words.

Do not use frivolous words, speak meagerly for too many words will bring harm, do not take your own words lightly, be careful with your words, Lan Jingyi recites in the back of his mind. After having copied the rules so many times, they are easily imprinted in his mind. Wei- qianbei definitely broke all of the rules , Jingyi thinks while he observes Hanguang-jun’s expressions as he reads.

Unlike Sizhui, Jingyi did not have the privilege of being raised by Hanguang-jun for most of his childhood. It was more accurate to say Jingyi, like most members of Gusu Lan, knew of Hanguang-jun instead of knowing Hanguang-jun.

Still, Jingyi has taken enough classes with Hanguang-jun to be familiar enough with major changes in Hanguang-jun’s expressions. Even if Jingyi can’t name the soft expression on Hanguang-jun’s face right now, Jingyi recognizes the look. He saw it at Dafan Mountain, when he requested Mo Xuanyu be moved into the Jingshi, when he and Wei- qianbei rescued them from the Burial Mounds, and after the Guanyin Temple.

It was an expression reserved for Wei Wuxian.

Hanguang-jun’s expression barely changes as he continues reading. Occasionally, Hanguang-jun will flip back to an earlier page with an amused huff.

This should be the most boring endeavor Jingyi has ever undertaken. He has never been a good scout, and even worse at night patrols because he would get bored so quickly.

But, watching the subtle shifts in Hanguang-jun’s expression is more entertaining than Jingyi would have guessed. He is no expert at reading Hanguang-jun, or at reading people in general, but it is fun to guess at the shifts in Hanguang-jun’s expressions. Even Jingyi can see the soft, deeply rooted affection Hanguang-jun has for Wei- qianbei in how he holds the paper with such care, in how he is possibly smiling at Wei- qianbei ’s little drawings, and in how Hanguang-jun looks very lonely sitting on the Jingshi porch alone.

Ouyang Zizhen would be having a field day with this information, Jingyi thinks.

Jingyi is so lost in his thoughts between what his friends would say about observing Hanguang-jun and actually observing Hanguang-jun that he startles when Hanguang-jun himself says, “Breakfast will begin soon. Do not be late.”

Carefully tucking the thick wad of paper into his sleeve, Hanguang-jun stands and makes his way to the communal dining area.

Jingyi has too much dignity to scurry out from his hiding spot right before Hanguang-jun’s sharp eyes. Luckily, Hanguang-jun is not interested in punishing Jingyi and moves toward the dining area. But, before leaving, he says, “Eavesdropping is forbidden, Lan Jingyi.”

Just as Hanguang-jun’s back disappears around another corner, the warning gong for breakfast rings.

Flustered, Jingyi tries to collect himself as he scrambles to his feet. He is enough of a Lan to not run, but he is definitely pushing the limits of speed walking so he will not be late for breakfast.

~~~

Having deemed that morning’s events to be sufficient evidence of Hanguang-jun’s deep yearning for the return of Wei- qianbei , Jingyi decides he needs someone who knows Hanguang-jun well enough to help him formulate a plan.

Ideally, Sizhui would have been the best partner. Not only has Sizhui been raised by Hanguang-jun, Sizhui is also Jingyi’s equal and a close friend which would make the need for formalities unnecessary. Sizhui is also the best at curbing Jingyi's wildest ideas.

But, Sizhui is still travelling with Uncle Wen Ning.

The only other person who knows Hanguang-jun well enough to assist Jingyi is Zewu-jun who is...not exactly in seclusion, but he is not not in seclusion either. Jingyi doesn’t understand it either.

But, Jingyi does know that while Zewu-jun himself has not been seen leaving the Hanshi, Zewu-jun is perfectly free to leave if he so desired. More importantly, people are allowed into the Hanshi. Confident that Zewu-jun would do anything to help Hanguang-jun, Jingyi decides to seek his aid.

Without Sizhui around to slow Jingyi down, to encourage Jingyi to sleep on his plans before enacting them, Jingyi decides to put his plan into action the first chance he gets.

That evening, armed with nothing but the bare bones of a plan and his desire to help Lan Wangji, Jingyi marches up to the doors of the Hanshi for the first time in his life.

Seeing the candlelight flicker through the open window of the Hanshi, Jingyi takes a deep breath and knocks.

He meant to gracefully entire the Hanshi, politely and through the door. He would bow at the full angle, speak at the proper volume, and would present his objective in a calm, respectable proposal. There was a plan, and Jingyi had intended to carry out that plan.

What Jingyi did not account for was Sect Leader Lan’s refusal to open the door. Like any self-respecting cultivator of the Gusu Lan Sect, Jingyi was reasonably terrified of Lan Xichen. But, dire circumstances call for extreme measures. With no other choice, Jingyi turns to the window.

Seeing that there is no one else in the vicinity, Jingyi messily pushes his long sleeves up to his elbows before leaping at the window ledge.

Admittedly, Jingyi didn’t think it was a good idea either. He is basically breaking into the Hanshi, breaking hundreds of rules, and Zewu-jun might run him through with Shuoyue if Jingyi is mistaken for an intruder. Which...Jingyi technically is. But Jingyi tells himself this is a necessary evil, that Zewu-jun is too level-headed to respond with Shuoyue, and that Hanguang-jun’s happiness is on the line. He is still reciting this in his head, like a mantra, as he backs up and dives directly into Zewu-jun’s window.

Jingyi miscalculates his own power and ends up jumping through the window entirely, landing in a flailing, graceless heap as Zewu-jun watches from behind a desk. Zewu-jun’s face is composed as always and his eyes aren’t even open, but Jingyi feels judged as he picks himself up from the ground.

“Sect Leader,” Jingyi salutes, robes askew and regulating ribbon crooked across his forehead. He had already broken enough rules, he figures being respectful to his Sect Leader might mediate the number of lines he’d have to copy as punishment.

“You should not be here,” Lan Xichen’s voice is...impassive. Where he once faced the world with a serene smile, Xichen now faces directly ahead, eyes closed, as still as jade. He does not even bother to address Jingyi directly.

In retrospect, Jingyi will later realize that he has interrupted Lan Xichen’s nightly meditation.

At the moment, Jingyi is more than a little desperate. “Sect Leader Lan,” he bows again, even though Lan Xichen’s eyes remain closed. “I know you are...taking a personal leave from many of your duties, but this is a problem that has plagued Gusu Lan for several months now.”

“Then I suggest you take it to Wangji,” Xichen says, unmoved, in the same placid tone. “Hanguang-jun is more than capable of resolving any issues that have arisen.”

Even though Jingyi’s arms are getting tired and Zewu-jun still isn’t looking at him, Jingyi holds the salute. Just in case. “But Zewu-jun,” Jingyi says, trying very hard to not sound like he is challenging Zewu-jun’s authority, “This is an issue that concerns Hanguang-jun directly.”

Immediately, Zewu-jun’s eyes open and he finally looks at Jingyi. “What is the situation?” Xichen asks, concerned.

“Hanguang-jun is sad!” Jingyi says. It is only his rigorous Gusu Lan education that allows him to will his arms from shaking as he continues to maintain his salute.

“At ease,” Xichen says, giving up on his nightly meditation. “Wangji has been in mourning for a long time but he has been content since Wei- gongzi ’s return.”

Folding his arms in his sleeves politely, Jingyi protests while trying very hard to not sound like he is protesting. “I have evidence that Hanguang-jun is sad!” he says.

“Please take a seat,” Zewu-jun sighs and waves a hand at the cushion before him. He waits for Jingyi to kneel before continuing. “What does this evidence entail?”

“Hanguang-jun was sitting in front of the Jingshi alone before breakfast!”

Jingyi can see that Zewu-jun is unconvinced, even if Lan Xichen’s expression does not change. “Wangji often spends time alone. Wangji enjoys solitude.”

“But he was lonely! He looked lonely!” Later, Sizhui will smack Jingyi for impertinence and Lan Qiren will assign more handstands.

Now, Lan Xichen is unruffled at Jingyi’s boldness and is even amused at the extent of Jingyi’s sheer brazenness. “You have seen Wangji alone before,” Xichen points out calmly. “Why the concern now?”

“Because Wei- qianbei isn’t with Hanguang-jun!”

“Wangji’s connection with Wei- gongzi is profound. It is not our place as outsiders to interfere.” Zewu-jun says this with the weighty experience of someone who has attained this knowledge firsthand in the worst way.

“But they still aren’t together! Lan Sizhui has written to me so much about how lonely Wei- qianbei is! Read for yourself!” Having at least the foresight to prepare himself beforehand, Jingyi pulls Sizhui’s crumpled letter from his sleeve and just barely resists the temptation to thrust it in Lan Xichen’s face. At the last minute, he remembers some manners and offers the letter to Zewu-jun with both hands and lowers his head..

Taking the proffered letter, Xichen skims the contents of Sizhui’s neat handwriting. To Jingyi’s frustration, Xichen’s composed expression does not change.

“Lan Jingyi,” Xichen says slowly, choosing his words with care as he looks back up at Jingyi, “I understand that you are frustrated.”

Jingyi huffs a laugh under his breath — as if frustrated even begins to cover how he feels , Jingyi thinks — before he remembers who he is speaking to and tries to look abashed over his rudeness.

Brushing past the infraction, Xichen continues, “And I understand that you wish to see Hanguang-jun and your Wei- qianbei together again. But, you are not the first to attempt such an undertaking.”

“But Zewu-jun! They are clearly pining and miserable without each other!”

If Jingyi had been paying attention, he would have realized that Sizhui’s letter was actually not very good evidence as it made no explicit mention of Wei Wuxian actually missing Hanguang-jun. It was sheer fortune that Zewu-jun happened to already agree with him.

“Zewu-jun,” Jingyi begs in a last attempt to sway Xichen to his side, “They use their birth names with each other.”

Xichen sighs. “I will not aid this endeavor of yours, but I see no reason to prevent you from undertaking such a project. So long as you operate within our Sect rules, I will not stop you. In exchange, I expect routine updates on how this project of yours proceeds. I invite you to join me for tea in one week's time so you may inform me of developments in the situation.”

Much later, once this ploy has reached its conclusion, Lan Sizhui will hit Jingyi over the head for his audacity in breaking into the Hanshi, for his disrespect in speaking back at Zewu-jun, and for violating curfew.

For now, Jingyi is simply grateful that Zewu-jun agrees with him.

~~~

The first plan is fairly benign.

What Jingyi needs is to first bring Wei Wuxian back to Cloud Recesses. So, he simply sends a letter to Wei Wuxian lamenting how lonely Hanguang-jun is and how worried he is for Hanguang-jun and won’t Wei- qianbei come visit an old friend in his time of need?

Wei- qianbei, Jingyi had written.

How long do you intend to run around with that stupid donkey? Don’t you know Hanguang-jun is sick with worry here in Cloud Recesses? Hanguang-jun is very lonely without your presence and it is very rude of you to take advantage of Hanguang-jun’s kindness and then abandon him. You must come back and take responsibility for the suffering you are putting Hanguang-jun through!

It could have been a good plan.

Except, Jingyi had no way of knowing the sheer quantity of letters Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji sent to each other. The letters were constant, daily updates of even the most mundane events. When Jingyi had happened upon Lan Wangji reading Wei Wuxian’s letters in front of the Jingshi, Lan Wangji had actually been rereading and reorganizing a stack of all the letters Wei Wuxian had sent that month and not, as Jingyi had assumed, been reading a single letter.

Since Wei Wuxian gave Lan Wangji timelines of where he intended to go next and when he would arrive, Wangji had been able to leave Wei Wuxian letters and little gifts in every village he passed through.

So, Wei Wuxian was confident that Lan Wangji was in perfect health and no more worried than he usually is.

What Jingyi did not know was that Wei Wuxian also knew how much Lan Wangji missed him. He missed Wangji just as much, but he had some travelling to do first, some loose ends to tie up, and an identity to reclaim.

A couple weeks after Jingyi had sent his letter, Hanguang-jun summons him to the yashi.

“Chief Cultivator,” Jingyi bows. “Hanguang-jun requested the presence of this disciple?” While formal speech is not something that flows off Jingyi’s tongue, he has never been directly summoned by the Chief Cultivator Lan Wangji. Jingyi is most comfortable with Hanguang-jun as a teacher and mentor, but he figures that it is better to err on the side of caution and maintain the utmost formality.

“Lan Jingyi,” Wangji nods his acknowledgement. “I recently received a letter from Wei Ying.”

Jingyi blinks, unsure where Hanguang-jun is going with this and why Hanguang-jun is telling him.

“Wei Ying has informed me that he has recently received an interesting letter,” Wangji continues.

Jingyi blanches.

To his horror, Lan Wangji reaches into his sleeve and pulls out the exact letter Jingyi had sent off weeks earlier.

“I believe this is your doing.”

Jingyi splutters, his mind scrambling for a defense even though he knows there is none he can provide without giving away his entire plan.

Luckily, Hanguang-jun saves Jingyi from answering by continuing to speak. “Do not make assumptions about others,” he recites, listing the rules Jingyi has broken. “Do not exaggerate, and do not act in bad faith. Be careful with your words.”

“This disciple apologizes for his interference,” Jingyi says as he prostrates himself before Hanguang-jun. “This disciple welcomes any punishment Hanguang-jun sees fit to bestow.”

“Rise.” Despite his new position, Wangji is as uncomfortable with being formally bowed to as Jingyi is formally bowing. “You will copy the rules two times, supervised by Lan Qiren in the library pavilion.”

Which is a very light punishment, all things considered, and Jingyi is well aware of how lenient Hanguang-jun is being.

In his haste to leave the yashi, Jingyi does not realize that Hanguang-jun did not quote do not tell lies amongst the rules he had broken.

~~~

“I sent a letter to Wei- qianbei,” Jingyi informs Lan Xichen in the Hanshi the next day, after his punishment is complete.

“Am I correct in assuming it was unsuccessful?” Xichen says mildly as he pours a cup of tea for Jingyi.

“Wei- qianbei sent the letter I sent him back to Hanguang-jun,” Jingyi grumbles, accepting the tea.

With a deeply entertained smile, Zewu-jun hides his amusement behind his own tea cup.

~~~

The second plan is an objectively terrible idea.

The flaw with Lan Xichen’s hands off approach to Jingyi’s whole endeavor is that he is unable to point out the glaring flaws in Jingyi’s plans.

Because of Sizhui’s brief mention of the lotus seeds he uncovered in the Burial Mounds, Jingyi is reminded that Wei- qianbei was not always the Yiling Laozu or a vagrant wanderer. Before he was forced to raise corpses in battle, Wei Wuxian had been the head disciple of Yunmeng Jiang who spent his days surrounded by water and lotus flowers.

Consequently, Jingyi has been inspired to plant some lotuses in Cloud Recesses. Growing lotuses, a plant that Jingyi has only seen once in his life and has never handled, requires a pond. A pond, which would require some source of still water which would also require diverting a river. Or building an aqueduct. Or having the means to hire someone else to build an aqueduct. Or use demonic energy to redirect the flow of water.

Neither hiring someone nor using demonic energy is a viable option but Jingyi pushes those logistics to the side as a problem to be addressed for later.

Instead, during a break between training sessions, Jingyi finds himself a shovel and gets to work.

Jingyi is standing in a shallow ditch he has dug out himself behind the Jingshi, right under a window, when he hears Lan Qiren’s familiar bellow coming from too close behind him.

“Lan Jingyi! What do you think you are doing?!”

Jingyi turns to face Lan Qiren. Holding the shovel, Jingyi bows before answering. “Digging?”

“Disgraceful!” Lan Qiren’s face is redder than Jingyi has ever seen it, even redder than when Wei Wuxian paraded around in front of everyone in Hanguang-jun’s under robes at the Burial Mounds. “Look at your robes! This is unacceptable. We do not need a trench in Cloud Recesses. Fill it back up.”

In his endless wisdom, Jingyi protests. “But wouldn’t a lotus pond be nice?”

“Do Cloud Recesses look like Lotus Pier to you!?” Lan Qiren snaps. “We are not in Yunmeng. Did Wangji put you up to this ludicrous task?”

“Of course not! If Hanguang-jun had planted a lotus pond, then Wei- qianbei would be here!”

Which is exactly the wrong thing to say as Jingyi discovers when he finds himself back in the library pavilion, with Lan Qiren, copying the rules forty times in handstands.

And he had to fill the earth back in.

~~~

“I am no expert on the cultivation of lotus plants but I suspect Cloud Recesses is too cold. Yunmeng is far warmer than we are and has milder winters.”

“How was I supposed to know that!?” Jingyi grumbles, wrists still sore from his punishment.

Xichen does not shrug, but his demeanor heavily suggests a shrug. “In any case, Shufu is rather opposed to Wangji’s relationship with Wei Wuxian.”

“Well I know that now .”

~~~

The third plan is indirectly inspired by Lan Qiren himself when he assigns Jingyi the task of delivering Cloud Recesses’ excess harvest to the nearby villages. Jingyi is carrying several baskets of napa bundles and medicinal herbs on his dan when he passes by a field of peppers.

The bright green peppers remind Jingyi of that day in Yi City, when Wei- qianbei tried to claim his lethally spicy porridge was supposed to be medicine. A claim he made to several junior disciples of Gusu Lan. Gusu Lan: the sect with the most experience with medicinal cooking.

At the time, Jingyi thought he was more likely to choke on Mo- xiansheng ’s terrible cooking than die from corpse powder poisoning.

Now, the entire experience has stirred Jingyi’s thoughts as he formulates another plan on how to lure Wei Wuxian back to Cloud Recesses.

The thing is, while Jingyi actually has very little concrete knowledge of what Wei Wuxian enjoys eating, he does know that Yunmeng Jiang is known for their spicy and flavourful cuisine. Sizhui has also mentioned Wei- qianbei ’s penchant for spicier dishes in his letters, as has Uncle Wen Ning in his stories. And, when they had stayed at inns with Hanguang-jun and Wei- qianbei , Hanguang-jun always ordered uncharacteristically spicy dishes and requested additional chili oil.

With this evidence, Jingyi concludes that Wei Wuxian is a degenerate gremlin who has burned his tongue.

A degenerate gremlin whom Hanguang-jun is desperately in love with.

It is not a secret that Wei Wuxian despises Gusu cuisine for its bland tastelessness and bitter medicinal properties.

But if someone were to adjust Cloud Recesses’ diet to include more spices, Jingyi thinks, then Wei- qianbei will enjoy the food and stay with Hanguang-jun.

“Are these spicy?” With his mind made up, Jingyi asks the farmer tending to the peppers as he unloads the last of his napa and herbs.

“The spiciest in Gusu!” The farmer responds.

Jingyi has no conception of how spicy that is but it must be spicy enough to make Cloud Recesses’ dishes flavourful enough for Wei- qianbei .

“Here,” the farmer pulls a bundle from his pocket and presses it into Jingyi’s hand. “Take this huajiao as well. It is a numbing spice imported from Yunmeng. It is too strong for my wife and I but I am sure a young master of an illustrious Sect like yourself will find some use for it.”

There is no rule against accepting gifts and it is not unusual for disciples to return with goods gifted by grateful farmers so Jingyi doesn’t feel bad about taking both the huajiao and a basket of peppers.

It takes another couple weeks until Jingyi is rotated onto food preparation in the kitchens again. In those weeks, Jingyi observed Hanguang-jun receive another bundle of letters from Wei-qianbei, request additional pillows and bedding for the Jingshi, and told Jingyi not to fill in the ditch he had dug behind the Jingshi. Jingyi filed this as further proof that Hanguang-jun is desperately missing Wei-qianbei and told Zewu-jun as such.

For his part, Zewu-jun simply sipped his tea and listened to Jingyi’s incessant chatter without judgement.

In the kitchen, Jingyi is standing by the stoves, watching the row of pots and pans slowly cook over the fire. The packet of huajiao and peppers are burning in his sleeve.

Briefly, it does occur to Jingyi that he really does not know how much spice is necessary to adequately flavour an entire dish. Thinking on how red and colourful the dishes Hanguang-jun served to Wei- qianbei were, Jingyi figures more spice is better.

When no one is looking, Jingyi slips the peppers and huajiao into each dish, pouring equal amounts into the pot of rice, the pan of leafy vegetables, and the crock of soup.

He uses up everything the farmer had given him.

Belatedly, Jingyi considers that he maybe should have kept some of the spice for the next time he is on kitchen duty, but decides that murmurs of Gusu Lan serving spiced food on one occasion will be enough to at least temporarily bring Wei Wuxian back to Cloud Recesses. Wei- qianbei will inevitably come if only to question Hanguang-jun and Jingyi is rather optimistic that he will be able to convince Wei- qianbei to stay. He just needs Wei- qianbei to be in Gusu.

As he waits for everyone to be seated for dinner, Jingyi is almost vibrating with anticipation. Lan Qiren does not notice, simply giving Jingyi a cursory glare of disapproval. Hanguang-jun, however, does notice. He gives Jingyi an admonitory look, indicating that he knows Jingyi is up to something, but says nothing as he takes his seat at the main table.

Once the dinner finally commences, Jingyi is disappointed to see that the dishes appear to be the same mild colouring they always are. Then the disciple beside him gags on an unsuspecting bite, coughing and spewing his rice back into his bowl.

Looking around, Jingyi sees that several sect members are coughing and choking on the rice. It is no better for those who are attempting to suppress the spice with the soup.

Lan Qiren’s face is dangerously red and he looks like he very much wants to be yelling, but no longer has control over his own mouth. He sits panting heavily, trying to relax his burning throat and cool his tongue.

Only Hanguang-jun is unbothered, calmly bringing bite after bite to his mouth. His cheeks are slightly flushed from the spice, but he appears otherwise unaffected.

Trying his concoction for himself, Jingyi fares much less well than Hanguang-jun as he breaks out in a string of violent coughs. Despite the inoffensive colouring, the spices are very strong even if it is less spicy than the concoction Wei Wuxian fed them.

Still, Jingyi can’t feel his tongue.

~~~

As Lan Qiren is angry enough to want nothing to do with Jingyi and Hanguang-jun is mired under stacks of paperwork, Jingyi’s punishment is left to Lan Xichen’s supervision.

“That explains the delay in my dinner that evening,” Xichen ponders aloud as he watches Jingyi balance in a handstand against the wall of the Hanshi, holding a brush over a half filled sheet of paper.

“Grandmaster has banned me from the kitchens indefinitely.” Jingyi barely bites back a groan as a splotch of ink drips from his brush, marring the characters he has already copied.

“Shh,” Xichen prompts gently, resuming his own meditation. “There are two hundred and eighty-three copies remaining.”

~~~

Despite the monumental failure of his previous attempts, Jingyi’s zealousness has not waned. If anything, continuing to watch Hanguang-jun walk around all alone and very lonely has only hardened his conviction. He is ready to enact his fourth plan which involves Fairy, Fairy finding Wei Wuxian, a long chase through clear fields with no trees to hide in, and the timely arrival of Hanguang-jun.

Jingyi is halfway through writing a letter to Jin Ling to negotiate borrowing Fairy when he receives his own letter from Sizhui.

Lan Jingyi,

I hope you have not pushed Grandmaster any closer to a Qi derivation in my absence. Uncle Wen Ning and I left Lanling last week. (Jin Ling sends his regards.) I will be returning to Cloud Recesses soon. But first, Uncle Wen Ning and I will be making a detour to Qinghe to pick up a parcel for Wei- qianbei before traveling to Gusu together. Wei- qianbei says he will reconvene with us in Caiyi. Hanguang-jun will be with him.

Take care, and do not break too many rules in the coming days. I have much to share with you of my adventures, of what I have seen, and the many stories Uncle Wen Ning has been telling me.

Lan Sizhui

Jingyi is ecstatic, pushing his half finished letter to Jin Ling aside. With Hanguang-jun and Wei- qianbei together, they would finally talk out their deep-seated, all-consuming love for one another and Hanguang-jun would finally stop being lonely.

He finishes drafting his letter to Jin Ling anyway, just in case he still needs to resort to Fairy.

A couple days later, Hanguang-jun leaves Cloud Recesses.

As soon as Jingyi sees Hanguang-jun’s back disappear around the curved path leading down the mountain, he quickly walks to the Hanshi.

Before Zewu-jun, Jingyi still carries out the motions of bowing even though his arms are sloppy and his angle is sloppy.

“Lan Jingyi,” Zewu-jun nods, gesturing for Jingyi to take a seat at the table. “There are still three days until our regular scheduled tea time,” Xichen says mildly, pouring Jingyi a cup of tea anyway.

“Hanguang-jun has left Cloud Recesses to find Wei- qianbei . Shouldn’t we follow Hanguang-jun?”

To Jingyi’s surprise, Xichen is as placid as ever and completely unbothered, taking a slow sip of his own tea before answering. “There is no need. Wangji has informed me that he will return tomorrow with Wei Wuxian, Lan Sizhui, and Wen Qionglin.”

Jingyi only sips his tea out of politeness. “But Sect Leader, shouldn’t we follow Hanguang-jun to make sure he finally confesses? Wei- qianbei is so annoying and doesn’t realize how much he loves Hanguang-jun!” Belatedly, it occurs to Jingyi that it is bad form to be insulting a senior in front of his Sect Leader, nevermind a senior who is going to become his Sect Leader’s brother-in-law.

But Lan Xichen is unphased, having long since grown accustomed to Jingyi’s brand of chaos. “While there is no harm in facilitating opportunities for Wangji and Wei- gongzi to explore their feelings, we cannot force them to speak what is not ready to be spoken.”

“But they’ve been doing this for so long!”

“Jingyi, you are not the first to attempt to push Wei- gongzi and Wangji together. They are both deeply stubborn people. All we can do is wait. Fate has blessed them and bonded their souls together. I trust that Wangji will find his happiness.”

“Watching Wei- gongzi and Hanguang-jun together is infuriating,” Jingyi is Lan enough to not pout, but his displeasure is clear.

Zewu-jun hums softly, sympathizing with Jingyi. He has watched Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji dance around each other for two lifetimes now and is still watching. “We can wait at the entrance tomorrow for their return.”

Looking up in surprise, Jingyi asks, “Sect Leader is leaving his seclusion?”

“I am not in seclusion,” Xichen answers. “Only in mourning and taking time for advanced self-reflection.”

Jingyi still doesn’t really understand the difference. The purpose of seclusion is precisely for mourning and self-reflection, was it not?

In any case, Jingyi wasn’t about to argue semantics with his Sect Leader.

~~~

At the entrance to Cloud Recesses, Jingyi stands with Lan Xichen as they wait for Hanguang-jun to return with Wei Wuxian and Sizhui, and Uncle Wen Ning. Zewu-jun is only carrying Liebing. Shuoyue is nowhere to be seen, but the usual guards are only a few paces back in case anything unexpected were to happen.

They take up their posts in the late afternoon. Jingyi had proposed waiting in the morning, but Zewu-jun had predicted otherwise. “I suspect Wei- gongzi will want to explore the vendors in Caiyi and Wangji will allow Wei- gongzi such indulgences,” he had said, shooing Jingyi off to training.

Now, Jingyi has to admit that Zewu-jun was correct.

They have barely been waiting for ten minutes when they hear Wei Wuxian’s laughter drift through the trees. Moments later, Hanguang-jun appears first, making the last turn that leads the path directly into Cloud Recesses.

Zewu-jun gives Jingyi a look as Jingyi vibrates with excitement, but says nothing to admonish Jingyi’s restlessness. They watch as Lan Wangji leads Lil' Apple by the reins, Wei Wuxian sitting astride Lil' Apple’s back with Chenqing tucked into his belt. Sizhui and Wen Ning follow closely behind them, carrying baskets of assorted fresh fruits.

Perched precariously on Lil' Apple, Wei Wuxian raises a hand, waving vigorously at Xichen and Jingyi’s waiting figures.

Xichen simply smiles his welcome, but Jingyi waves back just as excitedly.

“So?” Jingyi asks, not even trying to minimize his excitement once they are all within Cloud Recesses’ wards again after they have exchanged the proper greetings and pleasantries.

At his side, Sizhui has already guessed what Jingyi is about to say and desperately shakes his head as vigorously as possible without attracting Wei Wuxian’s attention. Nothing escapes Hanguang-jun’s notice, and Lan Wangji briefly glances at Sizhui with amusement, but Sizhui knows Hanguang-jun won’t draw unnecessary attention to him. Shadowing Sizhui, Wen Ning simply smiles wryly, his wide eyes dancing as if there is a joke that only he is privy to. Lan Xichen simply stands there, lips curled into a resigned smile as he watches the scene unfold before him.

“So…?” Wei Wuxian echoes, confused, as he takes Hanguang-jun’s hand and allows Wangji to help him off Lil’ Apple’s back.

Jingyi does not notice how Wangji’s hand remains on Wei Wuxian’s back even after both his feet are planted firmly on the ground. Xichen, however, very much notices and gives Wangji a knowing look that says as such.

Wangji resolutely ignores his brother’s gaze. Instead, he refocuses his attention back onto Wei Wuxian.

“So have you finally confessed your undying love and devotion to each other!” All the advice Zewu-jun had given Jingyi about leaving Wanji and Wei Wuxian to their own devices has flown out the window as Jingyi says this so emphatically that it is no longer even a question.

Confused, Wei Wuxian turns to Wangji first. Jingyi doesn’t see any changes in Hanguang-jun’s expression but he must have reacted as Wei Wuxian nods and turns back to Jingyi.

“Of course we have,” Wei Wuxian says with an oddly anticipatory note to his voice. There is a mischievous glint in his eye. “Hanguang-jun is my husband.”

There is a brief pause as Jingyi processes Wei Wuxian’s words.

“ What?!” Jingyi shrieks. “ Husband?! ”

Somewhere in Cloud Recesses, during a fine afternoon tea with a Lan Sect Elder, Lan Qiren suddenly coughs up blood.

“Well we’ve already been engaged forever,” Wei Wuxian shrugs as if he hasn’t just distorted Jingyi’s entire world. “We didn’t want to wait any longer.”

Off to the side, Wen Ning is completely unsurprised by this revelation having witnessed their union with his own eyes, albeit from inside a bush. Sizhui was never told outright, but Wen Ning had hinted at Wangji and Wei Wuxian’s union just enough that Sizhui had extrapolated his own conclusions.

Jingyi swings around to look at Zewu-jun, the only one who is not betraying him at this moment by being the only other person who is surprised. While Xichen had already determined that Wangji and Wei Wuxian had confessed, Xichen hadn’t expected them to already be married .

“To be fair, I didn’t know we were engaged for most of it either,” Wei Wuxian continues nonchalantly, as if he hasn’t just uprooted Jingyi’s entire world. His hand is clasped tightly in Hanguang-jun’s grasp as Wei Wuxian swings their entwined hands together back and forth between them. “Lan Zhan forgot to tell me.”

“I did not forget,” Lan Wangji hums thoughtfully as he looks at Wei Wuxian with the most adoring, love struck gaze Jingyi has ever seen. With his free hand, Lan Zhan reaches over to cover their entwined hands and relaxes Wei Wuxian’s fervent swinging. “Wei Ying was not ready.”

Wei Wuxian rests his head on Lan Wangji’s shoulder. With an equally infatuated gaze, Wei Wuxian looks up at Hanguang-jun from his shoulder. “But I’m ready now. Lan Zhan, I’m so ready —“

Lan Xichen interrupts before Wei Wuxian’s smitten tone can turn outright salacious.

“Welcome back, Wei- gongzi , Wangji. I offer my blessings and congratulations to you both,” Zewu-jun says mildly, forcing the words out through his own shock. “May I ask when this union took place?”

Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian look at each other again. Jingyi can’t decide whether he finds their ability to carry a conversation with only their eyes to be the height of romance or absolutely grating.

“A few minutes after we accidentally got engaged,” Wei Wuxian explains rather unhelpfully. “When he tied his ribbon around my wrist.”

“We completed the first bows before Lan Yi,” Hanguang-jun elaborates. This time, Jingyi notices when Hanguang-jun releases Wei- qianbei ’s hand so he can wrap his arm protectively around Wei- qianbei and pull him in close.

“Lan Yi?” Zewu-jun echoes. Hanguang-jun’s explanation clarified nothing for Jingyi, but Zewu-jun seems to understand. “Wangji, that was over two decades ago.”

“You’ve been married for twenty years!?” Jingyi snaps, no longer even trying to mediate his own surprise. Glancing back to the side, Sizhui and Wen Ning are doing their best to melt into the trees and be idle spectators.

Traitors , Jingyi thinks.

“Not exactly,” Wei Wuxian interrupts Jingyi’s thoughts. He is leaning into Hanguang-jun’s shoulder slightly, subconsciously. In any other circumstance, Jingyi would find this to be exceptionally romantic. “We didn’t get to the second set until after we saved everyone in the Burial Mounds, when we all went to Lotus Pier.”

“It took you twenty years to get married?” Jingyi is blurting out thoughts as they come, the shock of Hanguang-jun’s marriage having finally severed the already tenuous connection between his brain and his mouth.

“Lan Zhan and I like to take it slow,” Wei Wuxian says as if it is perfectly to space out wedding bows over two decades, across two lifetimes, without any ceremony, and without telling anyone.

Xichen speaks again. “When did you complete the final set?”

“Right after we left the Guanyin Temple.”

“But Sizhui and Uncle Wen Ning followed you right after you left,” Jingyi says, trying to map out a timeline.

“We finished our bows before they caught up.”

Wen Ning says nothing. At the time, he had briefly gone ahead to clear the path for Sizhui when he had happened upon and witnessed their bows to each other. No one else knew what he had seen and Wen Ning very much intended to keep it that way. It was a tender and very private moment, and it was fortunate that they returned to the road just as Sizhui caught up with Wen Ning.

“But you were lonely! And all that longing!” Jingyi tries to untangle his mess of thoughts, wondering if he spent too much time reading too much into Sizhui’s letters.

“Of course I was lonely!” Wangji’s grip on Wei Wuxian’s waist tightens. “I missed Lan Zhan! I have to leave my new husband behind!”

“Then why did you even leave?”

Wei Wuxian pauses, thinking about how to put into words how he felt. “I was ready to love Lan Zhan,” Wei- qianbei finally says, voice subdued. “But I wasn’t ready to be me.”

“What does that even mean?”

“You can’t devote yourself to someone fully without knowing who you are without that person,” Wei Wuxian says with uncharacteristic sincerity.

A silence falls upon them. Jingyi still isn’t sure whether this is real, or if he was having the weirdest dream.

No one notices Lil' Apple stealing an apple out of Sizhui’s basket.

“Wangji,” Xichen breaks the silence, “why did you not tell anyone?”

The hurt in his voice is resounding and Jingyi wonders the same thing. All these weeks, Zewu-jun has been quietly supportive of Jingyi’s misplaced attempts to bring Hanguang-jun and Wei- qianbei together, only to find out there was no need for any of it.

“It was...not intentional,” Lan Wangji says slowly, carefully parsing through his words. “Wei Ying and I did not wish to leave our feeling unacknowledged for any longer.”

“You did not even have a proper marriage ceremony,” Xichen says wistfully.

“The ceremony was never important to us, Zewu-jun,” Wei Wuxian answers quietly. “This entire mess happened because of cross-sect politics and interferences. So we wanted something for ourselves, something that couldn't be co-opted for sect politics.”

And despite everything his poor heart has gone through in that single afternoon, Jingyi’s heart melts because of course Hanguang-jun and Wei- qianbei wouldn’t tell anyone. Having each other was more than enough for them and wasn’t that just the pinnacle of love?

“Now, Lan Jingyi,” Wei Wuxian continues, teasing grin back on his face, “I heard you concocted a plan to lure me back into Cloud Recesses.” Jingyi makes an affronted squawk, but doesn’t get a chance to defend himself when Wei Wuxian continues. “Since you’ve already started on digging a pond, you can help me grow a lotus pond! A-Yuan has even been so kind as to bring back lotus seeds from the Burial Mounds. You’ll help me, won’t you Lan Jingyi?”

Jingyi’s head is spinning with all the newly gained information. And A-Yuan? Who is A-Yuan?

Later, Sizhui will sit down and explain his early history with Wei Wuxian as a Wen, and Jingyi will make the connection between Gusu Lan’s Lan Sizhui — Lan Yuan — and Wei Wuxian’s A-Yuan. But at the moment, Jingyi’s mind is swimming in all the newfound revelations.

Without waiting for Jingyi’s response, Wei Wuxian marches off toward the Jingshi. Lan Wangji follows at his side, his arm never letting go of his husband.

“I’ll see you tomorrow afternoon behind the Jingshi, Jingyi!” Wei Wuxian calls back without turning around.

They leave Lil' Apple in Jingyi and Sizhui’s care, trusting that they will lead Lil' Apple to the back mountains to graze on grass with Hanguang-jun’s rabbits.

As he watches the figures of Hanguang-jun and Wei- qianbei disappear into Cloud Recesses, Jingyi genuinely cannot tell whether or not he is being punished. At least they’re finally together, Jingyi thinks, before resolving to never think about them so deeply ever again.

Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji’s relationship was simply too complicated for comprehension.

~~~

Some Notes: Jingyi’s weekly teas with Xichen continue anyway because Xichen thinks Jingyi is hilarious and Jingyi...still has plans.

A dan is a wooden pole that you set on your shoulder and is used to carry goods. It’s still used in rural China.

#mdzs #wangxian #lan wangji #wei wuxian #lan jingyi #lan xichen #the untamed #the untamed 陈情令 #My writing

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husbandograveyard · 4 years ago

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Matchup for @jordimac33

I’m very excited I made it! Thank you Hazel!! 💕

My name is Jordan, but all my friends call me Jordie. I’m 23 and 5'10". I’m bisexual. My Myers Briggs is INTP, and my zodiac sign is Cancer (everytime I open my horoscope it feels like a personal attack). I have brown eyes with glasses, and short brown hair shaved along the sides & back. I have a couple of stray freckles around my chin and down my shoulders. I played Ice hockey up until college so I’m still pretty lean. Hockey made my legs pretty strong & thick and they’re probably my favorite feature on myself. I’ve got two really big passions in my life, baking and my friends & family. Baking is something that has always brought me a lot of joy, and it’s something I can share with the people that I care about. I was always a firm believer that my love language to others was gift giving, especially with food. Everytime someone is feeling low or upset pastries have a way of appearing. It’s something I can see myself doing happily for the rest of my life, so I’m trying to make a career out of it. I’m my 2nd year of a pastry program in culinary school, so I’m constantly trying different recipes out on my friends and coworkers. When I’m not baking up a storm, I’m normally burning through any book I can get my hands on. History and fantasy adventure stories have always been my favorite. I come from a pretty big family that saw each other regularly, so I’ve come to love the chaos. Being that close really made me treasure my friendships as well. Family & friends always come first for me, it doesn’t matter what I’m doing i’ll drop it to be there for them. I’m normally the one people head to for comfort/advice, and I thrive off of that. I’m not always comfortable being in the foreground, but I absolutely love being able to support the people who are. My biggest fear is probably being alone, I flourish in environments with lots of people I care about. I hate the thought of being left behind.

I hope I hit all the points you needed, sorry if I’m long winded! 😬 Thank you again Hazel!! 💕

Hiya Jordan (can I call you Jordie?) Dont worry about being long winded, the more info I get the better! :D The baking talents sound amazing (and now im hungry TwT ) I hope you like these matches for you! I match you with...

OTP: Katakuri

Into sweets? Big family? A lot of chaos? Unwavering loyalty? I think all the marks get checked right here! Your pastries are a great way of winning him over, breaking that stoic first wall and getting him to trust and eventually love you. The biggest hurdle is allowing you to see his face, and from there on out, it’s pretty much smooth sailing.

Despite his hard exterior and overwhelming power, Kata is pretty insecure and a softie once you get closer. He loves and admires your cooking, preferring it over whatever the chefs make, because of the secret ingrediënt only you can provide: love. You’re the only person ever to be invited to his merienda.

Once you get past the initial hard exterior, you will find that he can be pretty affectionate. Usually not in public but within the walls of your own home you can unleash all the affections you have, and he will carefully reciprocate, treating you with utmost care and softness. He gets easily flustered whenever you initiate even a cuddle session but will never reject you or let you down, after all, he likes it too.

He loves that you adapt to such a big family so well and get along with everyone so easily. No matter how weird or dysfunctional this family is sometimes, Katakuri does care about his siblings and the fact that you somehow feel comforted in the chaos does make him happy. The fact that you are so supportive and someone everyone in the family can come and talk to makes you fit in perfectly and all around loved!

Dates, besides the obvious baking and tasting include long walks around the various islands, just for exercise since you both like some activity, as well as letting you find all kinds of new flavors and ingredients that are so prominently available on the many islands! Katakuri likes to take you to Big mom’s huge library every now and then. He himself is not really an avid reader, but can stare for hours as you lose yourself in the endless bookcollection that there is.

Runner up: Nico Robin

A shared love for books and history, the two of you can speak for hours about diverse topic, have intense yet polite discussions, and a whole array of inside jokes. Honestly, you two could spend hours upon hours talking and never get tired nor bored of each other. Anyone listening in on a conversation would either be gravely disturbed, thoroughly confused of have no idea what either of you are talking about, and purposfully picking the most strange things to talk about in places where others can overhear it just to shock them slowly becomes a hobby, even if neither of you has every explicitly said that the goal was to disturb eavesdropping people.

You both like being supportive in the background, the caretakers of the crew so to say, and are usually the first ones the crew comes to when it is actual advice they need. You’re also each other’s first line whenever either one of you need help.

Why she’s not the one: Robin can endure chaos very well, is even amused by it, but in the end, she thrives in solitude and needs time to herself quite often to be able to give her all to you. In those times, she can be a little cold, and even though it’s nothing personal, it is not ideal for someone who thrives on companionship.

BrOTP: Sanj

Silently supporting your friends in the background with love; strong legs and heaps of great food. Sanji and you bond over food and make a hobby out of coming up with new desserts; one more creative and insane than the other, each and every single one of them tasty, great looking and still relatively nutricious.

You are the first one in the background waiting with a towel to throw at his face the moment he loses control over the bloodflow to his nose when he spots someone to swoon over and the first one to drag him back into the kitchen where both of you thrive.

Favorite pastime is doing challenges: think of the most insane cooking shows with desserts you’ve seen and now apply that craziness to the both of you, some timers and your crew/friends in the background as the jury both to keep an eye on you following the rules and as taste-testers (after all there will be no food wasted).

#Naku no matchup #500 followers event #matchup #one piece matchup #jordimac33

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deputyrhiannonhale · 4 years ago

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OTP Questions Meme

I was tagged by the ever lovely @returnofthepd3 thank you!!

tagging: @ja-crispea @dieguzguz @shelliechen @f0xyboxes @deputy-janai @deputyjessicaquinn @xbaebsae @veinereastath and anyone else who wants to, sorry for double tags, and sorry if I forgot anyone, my brain isn’t fully functioning yet haha

Sharky Boshaw and Rhi Hale

DISAGREEMENTS

Who is more likely to raise their voice? Rhi definitely, she’s hot headed and doesn’t really mean to raise her voice, but if it’s over something stupid, Sharky will match her tone quickly.

Who threatens to leave but never actually does? Sharky

Who actually keeps their word and leaves? Rhi (but it’s only for her to take the time to cool off)

Who trashes the house? If she’s drunk, Rhi will throw papers around, nothing major, like breaking anything, but she always cleans it up when she’s calmed down.

Do either of them get physical? Nothing like full on fist fighting, but Rhi does have a tendency to poke Sharky in the chest, or possibly shove at him, but it’s never hard enough for Sharky to even wince or stumble back.

How often do they argue/disagree? Hardly ever, they get along very well actually once Sharky realizes Rhi was never a threat to him. But, until they finally became a couple, he tried several times to warn her about John, and he would get irritated when she wouldn’t listen.

Who is the first to apologize? It depends on who started it, and who realizes they were in the wrong. Usually Rhi will swallow her pride and come to Sharky first because she is usually the one who blows up the worst.

SEX

Who is on top? Sharky mainly

Who is on bottom? Rhi, she likes to be put in her place sexually.

Any kinks? Sharky is a worshiper and loves to make sure Rhi has all the pleasure she can handle.

Who has the strangest desires? Neither have any strange desires

Who’s dominant in bed? Sharky

Is head ever in the equation? Almost always

If so, who is better at performing it? Sharky

Ever had sex in public? Outside, yes.

Who moans the most? It’s pretty equal, but Rhi is louder

Who leaves the most marks? Rhi, she loves to bite Sharky

Who is the more experienced of the two? Based on all his stories, Sharky

Do they ‘fuck’ or ‘make love’? Early in their relationship, it was a few spiteful fucks (Rhi did it just to piss John off) but once they realize they’re both in love with each other, it turns to making love.

How long do they usually last? If neither gets exhausted, all night.

Rough or soft? Usually soft, but they do have the rough nights

Is protection used? No, because deep down they’re both dumbasses

Does it ever get boring? Never!!

Where is the strangest place they’d have sex? Against Sharky’s SUV

FAMILY

Do they plan on having children/or have children? They’ve never talked about it, but Rhi doesn’t want kids.

If so, how many children do they want/have? N/A

AFFECTION

Who likes to cuddle? It’s equal

Who gets naughty in the most inappropriate of places? Sharky, but Rhi can have her moments if she’s feeling her oats

Who struggles to keep their hands to themself? Sharky

How long can they cuddle until one becomes uncomfortable? When falling asleep, Rhi will cuddle until she feels sleep calming her and then she will roll away from Sharky.

What is their favourite non-sexual activity? Sitting around a campfire, drinkng while Rhi plays the guitar and sings for him.

Where is their favourite place to cuddle? In bed, or the couch, but really if they’re just relaxing wherever, rather it’s around Hurk or the Spread Eagle, they will cuddle in some way.

How often do they get time to themselves? A lot, Sharky tags a long with her quite a bit, but at night, Rhi shuts off her radio so they have no interruptions.

SLEEPING

Who snores? Both, depending on how tired they are.

If both do, who snores the loudest? SHARKY

Do they share a bed or sleep separately? At first apart, but eventually jjust started sharing a bed

If they sleep together, do they cozy up together or lay far apart? They will until Rhi feels herself falling asleep, and she will roll away, but Sharky “chases” her because he doesn’t like not being able to touch her, and eventually Rhi is pushed all the way to the edge of the bed.

What do they wear to bed? Rhi usually just a tank top and shorts, Sharky just wears his boxers (even before they start officially dating) but after sex, they fall asleep naked.

Are either of them insomniacs? Rhi has a hard time falling asleep some nights, if her past is haunting her.

Can sleeping pills be found by the bedside? No

Do they wrap their limbs around each other or just lay side by side? Sharky usually ends up like a koala bear attached to Rhi.

Who wakes up with bed hair? Rhi, her hair is a tangled mess

Who wakes up first? Usually Rhi, she has a hard to waking Sharky up, its worse if they were drinking the night before.

Who prepares breakfast in bed for the other? Neither. Rhi has tried, but once Sharky realizes she not in bed with him, he gets up and looks for her.

What is their favourite sleeping position? Spooning, Rhi is almost always the little spoon.

Do they set an alarm each night? Rhi has one automatically programmed on her phone, and it always goes off, even if she doesn’t have to be up.

Who has nightmares? Rhi does, she wakes up in a cold sweat some nights, remembering the smell of the house burning.

Can a television be found in their bedroom? Yes, and they usually watch something before falling asleep.

Who has ridiculous dreams? Rhi, her mind hardly ever shuts off.

Who sprawls out and takes up most of the bed? Sharky, but Rhi hogs the blankets

Who makes the bed? Rhi does, if she remembers to.

What time is bed time? Between 11 and midnight.

Any routines/rituals before bed? The typical ones, Rhi will wash her face with a cleanser and they both brush their teeth.

Who’s the grumpiest when they wake up? Rhi. Hands down. She’s gotta wake up and have some coffee before she can even be considered anywhere near pleasant.

WORK

Who is the busiest? Rhi most days as a deputy, she’s constantly having to take care of something.

Who rakes in the highest income? Rhi does

Are any of them unemployed? Considering his past, Sharky has a hard time finding employment.

Who takes the most sick days? Rhi only will if she feels she may be dying.

What are their jobs? Rhi is a deputy for Hope County, Sharky calls himself a “Professional Pyro”

Who sucks up to their boss? Most would say Rhi gets treated better because Earl is her uncle but she has to work just as hard as the other deputies.

Who is more likely to turn up late to work? Neither.

Who stresses the most? Rhi, she is always worried about something, no matter how trivial

Do they enjoy or despise their careers/occupations? Rhi loves her job, and Sharky loves that Rhi is a deputy (he thinks he will get out of trouble more often this way)

Are they financially stable? They’re comfortable.

HOME

Who does the washing? Rhi, but Sharky will help her (or at least try, bless)

Who takes out the trash? Sharky will take out the trash.

Who does the ironing? Ironing? People still do ironing? Rhi will just toss her wrinkly clothes in the dryer for a few.

Who does the cooking? Rhi takes control over that.

Who is more likely to burn the house down just trying? Sharky...because...well...he’s Sharky.

Who is messier? It’s pretty even, but Rhi hates folding or putting clothes away, so there’s a designated spot for the clean clothes.

Who leaves the toilet roll empty? Sharky did once. Once.

Who leaves their dirty clothes on the floor? Rhi

Who forgets to flush the toilet? Neither, after the toilet paper roll incident, Sharky makes sure he doesn’t do anything wrong in the bathroom.

Who is the prankster around the house? Sharky, he’s worse if Hurk is over

Who loses the car keys when it comes time to go somewhere? Rhi, especially if Sharky is asking a lot of questions, she starts to forget to grab things, and then she freaks because she can’t remember where the keys are.

Who answers the telephone? Rhi

Who mows the lawn? Sharky does that for Rhi, says she shouldn’t have to worry about something like that

Who does the vacuuming? Rhi does if it gets to the point that it’s needed

Who does the groceries? They go together

Who takes the longest to shower? Rhi, it’s where she does a lot of her thinking, and just lets the hot water wash over her body.

Who spends the most time in the bathroom? That all depends n what is happening in the bathroom haha. Showering, Rhi, using the toilet, Sharky.

MISCELLANEOUS

Is money a problem? Not really, they get by easily enough.

How many cars do they own? One a piece, and she also has a quad that all her own

What’s their song? Set Me On Fire by Flyleaf

Do they live in the city or in the country? Country

Do they own their home or do they rent? Rhi’s cabin is part of her contract from her being transferred from Billings, so the payment comes out of her pay automatically.

Do they enjoy their surroundings? Rhi hated the big city, so she absolutely loves the country.

What do they do when they’re away from each other? Rhi focuses on her job, but is constantly worried she’s gonna get a call and it’ll be something Sharky did. Sharky waits patiently for Rhi’s return and is worried she’ll get hurt.

Where did they first meet? Her first visit to Hope County at 16. Sharky didn’t trust her, he felt she ratted him and Hurk out for setting fire to some hay bales, but it was the owner of the property. Rhi convinced Earl to let Sharky and Hurk go.

Who spends the most money when out shopping? Neither really, Rhi having always been on the poorer side of laugh, does math in her head as she’s shopping and won’t spend more than needed.

Who’s more likely to flash their assets? Neither

Any mental issues? Rhi has plenty. She has a hard time trusting people, she has a lot of anger issues from the abuse from her step-father, she’s anxious a lot, mainly where her mind won’t shut off. She also won’t let many people in, if you’re part of her circle who knows a lot about her, consider yourself lucky.

Who finds it amusing when the other trips over? They will both laugh, but if it’s Rhi that fell, she’s a little more embarrassed and gets a little huffy.

Who’s terrified of bugs? Rhi...not really terrified, but she doesn’t want them on her.

Who kills the spiders around the house? Sharky kills them for Rhi

Do they have any fears for their future? They don’t, because neither believe in the collapse.

Their favourite place? A section of the Henbane River where they took a dip on a hot day. It was when Sharky realized he was in love with Rhi. He will sometimes take her there for a spontaneous picnic

Who’s more likely to surprise the other with a fancy dinner? Neither, they’re not really a fancy dinner couple.

Who pays the bills? Rhi does just because she is the more responsible one

Who’s the tallest? Sharky. He’s 6′ and Rhi is a teeny 5′1″

Who’s more likely to just randomly hop into the shower with the other? Rhi

Who wanders around in their underwear? Sharky because he has no shame haha

Who sings the loudest when singing along to the radio? Rhi but they sing together, especially if its disco music.

What do they tease each other about? Rhi teases Sharky about his accent a lot and calls him Charlemagne, and he teases her about her height.

Who is more likely to cringe at the other’s fashion sense at times? Neither, because they don’t care what the other wears

Who crushed first? Rhi thought he was attractive when she was 16, but that was a more it’ll piss off her mother and step father. But Sharky definitely crushed first and Rhi was more slow to crush on him.

Any alcohol or substance related problems? They both drink, but it’s not to the point of being a problem.

Who is more likely to stumble home, drunk, at 3am? haha both, they’ll stumble home together.

Who swears the most? Both do, but Rhi has a really foul mlouth on the regular.

#far cry 5 #far cry 5 oc #rhiannon hale #deputy rhiannon hale #otp meme #ship name: Halefire #hope county #hope county montana #sharky x rhi #deputy rhiannon rhi hale

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spellcastersjudgement · 4 years ago

Note

23 nd tutorship ^v^

i apologize in advance i know this is an ignorant length but i cant help myself with THE OTP i hope you enjoy it!!! thank u bigly for sending in this ask <3333

if yall are on mobile i apologize in advance sometimes the read more links dont work whoops :((((

#23: ‘take my jacket’

Jaden loved to party and he wouldn’t apologize for that. Tournaments, interviews, endorsements, even a season finale of a TV show—all excuses to let loose and fill up no less than three trash bags with beer cans, pass out with his shoes on, and wake up groggy yet fulfilled the next day. Being a pro duelist had been the best move he’d ever made in his life, not just for the money and pictures and love of the game, but because even boring opening ceremonies or long-ass photoshoots ended with everyone getting smashed for no other reason than that they could. It was paradise.

This party fucking sucked though.

It didn’t suck in like, a traditional sense. The ballroom was beautiful, with vaulted ceilings and elegantly decorated tables with little placards for their names and everyone was dressed nicely. He was sitting at his assigned seat, staring at the nameplate and sipping prosecco, feeling like he should climb up onto the table and dance to liven things up a bit. Though the urge was strong and he’d downed four of these flutes of angry grape juice, he instead pulled out his phone from his front pocket—yeah, he was wearing a blazer with a fancy inside pocket, something he had never expected to wear in his life—and scrolling through his texts, most of them from Syrus, who was lamenting that they weren’t together to watch Aster and Zane’s televised foreplay. Jaden felt guilty but he wished he’d had a duel scheduled tonight. Zane and Aster had gotten out of attending this party (he used the term loosely) with Alexis, but this was a by week for him and he had no excuse.

Originally when Bastion had told him that he had to attend this—gala, that had been the word—this gala he was hype, ready to hang off his boyfriend’s arm and be the pro duelist trophy boyfriend to Bastion’s physics doctoral candidate, preferably hammered and bragging about how Bastion and Alexis had been awarded a competitive research grant for an assload of money. That was the plan, at least. Then again, he was under the impression that these galas were similar to his version of a party, where everyone showed up hella drunk and someone lost their pants thirty minutes in for whatever reason. The fancy name should’ve tipped him off, he thought, texting Syrus that he might have to fake a stomachache so he could dip out early, but in his defense he assumed the fancy name was because it was a university-sponsored thing not because it was stuffy as hell.

Syrus sent him back a sternly worded text that he should be happy for Bastion and that his boyfriend had put up with all of their drunken asses more times than he could count. Jaden could suck it up for one night.

Wrinkling his nose and feeling guilt swell up in him, Jaden locked his phone and put it back in his blazer—it was Bastion’s blazer actually, as Jaden didn’t own one nor did he remember to get one even though he’d been informed of this a week ago—and downed the rest of his wine, setting the empty glass back on the tablecloth. This would probably be more tolerable if he hadn’t immediately been separated from Bastion and Alexis, who had been accosted by professors and the program director almost as soon as they’d walked in. From his spot, he could see them standing with who he recognized as their faculty adviser, probably talking about something super smart and sciencey. This shit had gone on for the past forty-five minutes and Jaden could probably just walk over and interject himself, but what would he even say? The original plan didn’t seem like it would work as he definitely couldn’t grab Bastion’s ass and make off-color jokes about how his dick-sucking lips had won them that grant with this crowd of old-ass academics.

Bastion did look good in that suit though. Jaden probably wouldn’t be able to resist getting a handful of his ass when those slacks were stretched so tightly over it, already thinking of how he should drop something in front of him so he’d pick it up and give Jaden an excellent view. Looking down at his own ensemble, he wondered how Bastion had let him out of the house. He was wearing a purple leopard print button-up and had cuffed his dress pants and had refused to wear socks with these dress shoes unless he could wear his Winged Kuriboh ones. That had earned him an exasperated look from his boyfriend, who was busy ironing his own boring white shirt. Apparently the line was at Winged Kuriboh socks, as Bastion hadn’t said anything about his outfit when they’d left.

He could probably go over there, maybe just stand between Bastion and Alexis and not say anything. It’d be better than being the only person sitting at a table alone, even if what they were talking about would definitely go over his head and there wasn’t enough dancing for it to be a real party. Getting on the table and dancing was starting to become a more attractive idea by the second.

They’d been dating long enough for there to be a little voice in his head he called his Inner Bastion, which served as both a voice of reason and about eighty percent of his impulse control (the other twenty percent was divided between Jesse, Jim, and Syrus, though Sy was usually an enabler). It even had a cute British accent. Currently, it was telling him that if the choices were between dancing on the table and suffering through academics, he should go with the lesser of two evils.

It didn’t bar him from getting more alcohol, though, which was good because he definitely needed it. Just because everyone else was still upright and had all their clothes and there hadn’t been an impromptu karaoke battle didn’t mean he couldn’t have his own little party. Bastion could carry him out if needed.

“Thanks, dude,” Jaden was glad their assigned table was by the server station, meaning he didn’t have to go more than a few feet to get more of this angry grape juice. Too bad they didn’t have anything harder or else he’d be about ten rum and pineapples deep.

A real party should be impossible to navigate, everyone sweaty and close together, the music too loud to talk over unless you were right against someone’s ear or yelling so loud your throat hurt the next day. The most difficult part of reaching Bastion was walking sideways between chairs so he didn’t have to disturb anyone sitting down, which was a total bummer. He’d seen Bastion at a party with his other PhD candidate friends and they could throw down. Fucking school ruining everything, he thought sourly, trying to keep his face neutral as he got closer.

Just like he’d predicted, he could hear the adviser talking to Bastion about his upcoming exam, which sounded like gibberish to Jaden. He knew what an integral was and the difference between speed and velocity but other than that he couldn’t keep up, no matter how many times he helped Bastion study.

Deciding it was best not to interrupt their discussion of stellar evolution, which would be a great name for a mixtape, he tried to formulate a plan of attack to stand between them without looking awkward as hell. Alexis and Bastion were too damn close though, which he normally thought was adorable because they were best friend science buddies and Bastion’s tie matched Alexis’ dress, which wasn’t relevant but still insanely cute, and there would be no way for him to stand there without squeezing in and being a disruption. He’d just have to stand by Bastion’s side and take his chances. Hopefully none of these academic wizards would want to talk to him because the only thing he knew well was dueling and that probably wouldn’t fly with these nerds.

Jaden loved nerds. Bastion was a massive nerd and he loved him a lot, especially when he got excited about something and he’d start rambling, sticking a pencil behind his ear and gesticulating (usually at an equation he’d written on his office wall) and Jaden was totally content to pay his tuition with that sweet, sweet dueling cash if it meant he got to see him so happy. Jaden loved that kinda nerd. These stuffy nerds were a different story, completely uncharted territory. They probably didn’t cry tears of happiness when they finished a hard problem and probably didn’t look up at the stars and talk about extraterrestrial life and how rad space travel would be. That was the flavor of nerd he was used to.

Bastion was in the middle of saying something about electrons when Jaden came to stand next to him, their shoulders brushing, announcing his presence in the most subtle way Jaden had ever cut into a conversation ever. Damn, he should be flouncing over, totally drunk, kissing Bastion in the middle of the ballroom and shouting that his boyfriend was mega smart and that tie would be used to bind Bastion to the headboard later. Instead he had a flute glass and was sliding an arm around his boyfriend, trying to be quiet and unassuming. What fucking alternate universe was he in?

“—the expansion of—” Bastion stopped speaking to look down at Jaden, smiling once he realized it wasn’t some random person leaning on him. “Dr. Zweinstein, this is Jaden. I don’t think you two have met yet.”

Of course Bastion would be nice and make introductions.

“Hey,” Jaden switched the glass to his left hand so he could shake with his right. “Bas has told me a lot about you.”

Hopefully that counted as enough of a conversation. Bastion was very warm and his arm was now around Jaden, which was awesome because now he could lean into his boyfriend. Normally Jaden would talk more, but this whole situation was lowkey uncomfortable and he was out of his element given how fancy this gala was. Gala. What a dumb word. It sounded so fancy and exciting yet it was boring as hell.

“He’s told me about you as well,” Dr. Zweinstein spoke with a faint German accent and Jaden wondered if PhD programs only brought in people with sick accents to make them seem more exotic. Alexis was the only American he’d met in the parade of Bastion’s higher education friends. “You’re a duelist?”

“Yeah,” Jaden wanted them to go back to talking about physics. Zweinstein was the same height but he still felt like he was being looked down on, his eyes looking over the rim of his glasses and a faint downturn of his wrinkled old mouth. Yeah, that was about right. Bastion never made him feel like he was dumb or anything, except when he was being really dumb and that usually involved some scheme he and Syrus had cooked up that might risk them bodily harm or gastrointestinal discomfort.

“I’m sure that’s exciting.” Zweinstein didn’t sound genuine, more condescending.

Bastion must’ve sensed that things were about to go downhill. “Jaden has been a big help. I don’t think I would’ve passed your last exam without him.”

That was sweet, really, but Jaden had just graded a practice test, which didn’t involve anything but looking at the nicely circled x = whatever after an endless parade of calculus and checking them against an answer key. It’s not like he could help Bastion if he got in a real pickle, which is why he often saw his boyfriend dialing Alexis’ number at ass o’clock at night, standing in front of the wall where he’d attempted a problem with a worn-down pencil and tension in his shoulders.

“Oh, nonsense. You and Alexis are my best students. I think the two of you were born to do this.”

That was less sweet. The part about him helping Bastion being nonsense, that is. Bastion and Alexis were the best because they were Bastion and Alexis, so he could agree with that. Jaden shifted, crossing his arms over his chest, feeling very defensive because he may not have been a braniac but he did try to help in whatever capacity he could. Fuck this stuffy ass gala.

He felt fingers nudging at him, and he looked over to see Alexis reaching behind Bastion and prodding his side, smiling at him. She looked exquisite in that dress, the gold matching her eyes and making her look like the absolute queen she was. Jaden overcame his extreme annoyance at Dr. Asswipe—it really was unfortunate the guy had been kinda dickish because Bas talked about him like the guy invented the sun—to smile at her. Damn the two of them for standing so close together he couldn’t squeeze in.

Honestly, that’s probably how everyone felt when he and Syrus were together, but that was different. Jaden and Syrus were the awesomest at parties and if Syrus were here instead of watching Alexis’ boyfriends duke it out on prime time television they could play a drinking game at least. Not like Bastion wouldn’t play drinking games with him, but since he was one of the guests of honor its not like he could get totally shitfaced. That was another reason this party sucked. Alexis and Bastion should be messes right now, needing to be scraped off the floor because it was their party and they deserved to celebrate like he did after winning a duel.

The conversation had blessedly switched away from Jaden and back to stars or whatever the “post AGB phase” was. It probably wasn’t too late to fake a stomachache, he thought as he sipped more of the prosecco, looking aimlessly into the crowd of people, half-listening to Bastion’s voice as he talked about shell burning (yet another great name for a mixtape), but Syrus’ text about being supportive echoed in his head. He could stick it out for Bastion.

It was hard, though, to listen to all these big words and not know anything about what was going on. If it were just the two of them, Jaden would interrupt and ask his boyfriend to explain something in very small words so he could at least sorta understand enough to be engaged, but they weren’t at home or in the car or even at Starbucks. Maybe he should’ve just stayed at the table and texted Syrus or tried to livestream Zane and Aster’s duel. The only good thing that had come out of leaving his seat was that Bastion’s arm was around him, keeping their sides pressed together, and that Bastion was clearly very excited about whatever they were talking about and he sounded so happy.

Taking another sip of wine, Jaden glanced up at his boyfriend, how he was smiling while saying huge-ass words that meant nothing to Jaden, who couldn’t spell ‘necessary’ or ‘license’ without googling it first. This was his element, this academic wasteland, devoid of personality and individualism, the only thing here facts and figures and research that took countless hours. The blazer felt itchy, restrictive, weighing heavily on his shoulders and making it hard to breathe. Jaden had never been in this part of Bastion’s world before. Usually the extent was watching him and several other students gathered around the coffee table or sequestered in the office, studying together or shooting the shit, and none of them had been this type of boring, flat, lifeless, damn near oppressive type of academic.

“Jaden.”

Zweinstein was speaking to him again, and Jaden halted his thoughts about how he was itchy and hot and overall uncomfortable to focus.

“Yeah?” He tried not to think of how he sounded raspy and lowkey kinda pathetic.

“Bastion says you were recently in Zurich.”

That wasn’t really recent, but yeah. “I had a tournament there a couple months ago. Nice place, but super cold.”

“I was just telling Bastion that we have several job openings in Zurich with one of our sister universities,” Zweinstein continued, still looking at Jaden over his glasses and he could’ve sworn the man was speaking slower, like he was unsure Jaden could understand him. The itchy, tight feeling intensified, and Jaden gripped onto the wine glass and tried to think of the way Chazz pitched a fit on television when Jaden had dropped his life points to zero last week. “I think it would be a good fit once he completes the program.”

A job? Overseas? There would be worse things, Jaden supposed. He wasn’t about to have a conversation about important life decisions right here, though. “That’s cool.”

“That’s a word for it.” Zweinstein drawled.

“I appreciate the offer, but I think I’ll probably end up staying around here.” Thankfully Bastion was there to speak again because Jaden was about ten seconds from smashing his glass in his turtle-looking face.

“I’m sorry to hear that.” Zweinstein looked from Jaden to Bastion. “Though it is possible to be a duelist anywhere in the world. I hope you don’t let your partner’s career dictate yours.”

Jaden was hot, burning hot. The air was so thick it hurt to breathe, fingers twitching around the glass, and not even the feeling of Bastion’s hand squeezing his shoulder could calm the burning rage within him. Who the fuck was this man to stand here and insinuate that Jaden was—was holding Bastion back? Bastion had never said anything of the sort, not even implied it. Yeah, Jaden was loud and largely inappropriate and not book-smart and Bastion was proper and restrained and did Sudoku for fun but he would never, ever do anything knowing it would limit his boyfriend in his academic or career pursuits.

Coming over here was a mistake.

“’scuse me,” Jaden ducked out from under Bastion’s arm, needing to get away before he said something that would get him thrown out of this stupid-ass gala. His hip knocked into a table, jostling the silverware and startling the people sitting down, walking so fast the mostly-full glass was sloshing onto his sleeve, overcome with a burning need to get away from this gathering of pretentious fucks.

He knocked into more tables, tipping a chair over on its side as he made his exit. The door to the outside was his goal, as the night air would surely offer some sort of respite. Vaguely, he heard his name being called, but the blood was pounding in his ears and he couldn’t decipher who had called for him. It didn’t matter, as not even Bastion could make him go back to that horseshit conversation where he was being insulted for merely existing. What the fuck had he done to Zweinstein?

Pushing the ballroom door open with his shoulder and sloshing more wine onto the blazer, Jaden stepped into the hallway, hanging a right and heading for the exit doors where he could cool off and preferably stay outside until this nonsense was over. There were a couple of staff members standing by the door, and they opened it for him with a smile that he didn’t have it in him to return, finally stepping out and feeling like he was able to breathe once again.

It was easier to breathe but he was still hot and itchy. Sitting down on the top step, Jaden set down his glass and tore off the wine-soaked blazer, a passing thought of how it was his boyfriend’s and he should probably be more careful with it was silenced by angry thoughts of how he should summon Flame Wingman to burn this whole dumbass building down. Too bad he didn’t have his duel disk. That would’ve been satisfying. As long as Bastion and Alexis got out first.

Resting his head in his hands, acutely aware he looked like Cinderella, sitting here on the top of the steps after making a speedy exit from a ballroom, he heard Zweinstein’s words over and over again, taunting him. Was that it? Was the perception of their relationship that Jaden was somehow stunting Bastion’s professional and academic prospects?

Probably, another voice spoke up. They’d always been kinda an odd couple, proof that the old adage of ‘opposites attract’ wasn’t just a cliché. Jaden remembered when they’d first gotten together back in undergrad of how, while the squad had seen it coming for months and was totally cool with it, the other students at Duel Academy did make a few passing comments about how Bastion was ‘too good’ for him. It hadn’t bothered him back then because everything was shiny and new and he was totally gonna be a kickass pro duelist trophy boyfriend and Bastion was gonna name a star after him (something Bastion had actually said in a post-sex cuddle sesh, which had made Jaden feel enough love for the man to explode) and they were gonna prove everyone wrong. But now, feeling the air dance across his burning cheeks, staring down at the concrete steps, thinking about how the entire night he’d felt out of place, he entertained the thought that maybe, just maybe, there was some merit to what Zweinstein had said. Bastion would probably do better with someone that could keep up with him in the braincell department, someone he could talk about his passions with that didn’t involve multiple interruptions to define terms.

Shit, this was stupid. Jaden looked up at the sky, thinking about how he sounded like a dumb teenager to himself but unable to shake the feeling that maybe this gala had revealed something crucial, something he’d never considered before. The wine he’d spilled on himself was starting to dry, making his skin feel sticky and tight, heightening the feeling of general discomfort that had settled into his skin and overtaken him from the second he’d stepped in the ballroom, raised to a fever pitch by that stupid doctor. Going back inside felt impossible though. Better to just sit out here and tamp down on these feelings, forget about this entirely. The steps were uncomfortable and there were still a few stragglers coming in, their eyes landing on him briefly before continuing their way up the stairs. It’d be better to wait in the car but Bastion had the keys and was almost pathological about locking doors, meaning he’d have to go back inside to get them. That wasn’t gonna happen unless Jaden got one free punch aimed at Zweinstein.

He’d sit out here, then. That’d be fine. He had most of his phone battery left and a backlog of updates from Syrus; plus if all else failed he could call Jesse to pass the time. Bastion and Alexis could enjoy the gala in their honor and Jaden wouldn’t get arrested for assault. It would be fine, he reassured himself, though he still heard the echoes of doubts and insecurities and the visions of Bastion galivanting around with another obscenely smart person that wouldn’t feel out of place in his world, would compliment him better. The Inner Bastion voice that had discouraged him from dancing on the table was now spouting out how it was illogical to feel these things when Bastion had never come close to implying that Jaden wasn’t enough for him, and he did his damnedest to listen to it. That proved to be difficult, the persistent itch under his skin and the heat in his face not caring that his Inner Bastion was right. Digging in the front pocket for his phone, he felt his fingers shaking, covered in a cold sweat, unable to grasp the device.

Fucking fine, then. He could just sit here. He could just chill out. He was the ultimate at chilling, had taught Bastion how to turn that brain off and enjoy himself.

“Jaden?”

Was that his Inner Bastion trying to get him to calm himself down and stop worrying about nothing? It sounded louder, more insistent now, like the real Bastion sounded when Jaden was about to down seven Coke floats because Syrus got through six before he puked.

“Jaden?”

That definitely wasn’t in his head. Twisting around, Jaden looked up to see Bastion coming out of the building, walking toward him, blazer open and swishing with his steps, tie off-kilter. What the hell was Bastion doing out here? He should be inside.

“What?” Bastion was standing in on the steps by him now, looking confused and worried. Shit, he must’ve said that out loud. “I’m not going to stand inside while you’re out here, don’t be ridiculous.”

“Dude, this is your party.” Jaden felt a new wave of guilt for storming out and disrupting his boyfriend’s moment in the sun, especially after Bastion had spent an inordinate amount of time posing for pictures with Jaden after he won a duel or taken a red-eye flight to get back to the university in time for classes after joining him at a tournament. “Seriously, Bas. Get back in there.”

“Jaden,” Bastion was sitting down next to him, using that serious voice that Jaden recognized as the one meaning he wasn’t going to entertain an argument.

Jaden didn’t have anything to say that wasn’t going to be either argumentative or let these anxious, unfounded thoughts spill out, so he just huffed and stared straight ahead.

There was silence for a moment. Usually their silences weren’t uncomfortable as they’d been together far too long to feel the need to fill every moment with inorganic conversation. This was an uncomfortable silence and Jaden could feel Bastion looking at him, practically feel the way he was turning words over in his mind, wanting to broach the subject of that unfortunate encounter with his faculty adviser. Jaden didn’t know if he wanted to talk about it or not, really. If he made Bastion feel like he couldn’t interact with the person helping him complete his doctorate then he really would be holding him back just like Zweinstein said; if he didn’t say anything then he’d either have to abstain from coming to these uptight academic gatherings, maybe miss out on more important accomplishments, in order to not be subjected to this condescending bullshit.

This situation sucked.

“Jaden,” Bastion had apparently finished deciding how to begin.

“Yeah?”

“You won’t have to worry about Dr. Zweinstein saying anything else to you.”

“What?” Jaden looked over to him, feeling more guilt, more anxiety twisting his insides. “What’d you say to him? Bas, you better not have—”

“I told him to shove it.” Bastion interrupted, a slight smile breaking his face, eyes shining with amusement. “Not in as many words, but you know.”

“You told the guy who holds your future by the short and curlies to shove it?”

“Jaden, sweetheart,” Bastion’s arm wound around his shoulders, pulling him to his side. Jaden was slightly off-guard, feeling new heat rise to his cheeks at the pet name. His boyfriend didn’t use them often, didn’t really use nicknames either, referring to Alexis by her full name when everyone else said ‘Lex’, almost never calling him ‘Jay.’ Leaning his head against Bastion’s shoulder, feeling the fabric of his blazer against his cheek, he listened as Bastion continued. “I think you’ve overestimated the influence he has on me. I’m not so starstruck that I’m going to let him speak to you like that.”

That was probably the nicest, most political way for Bastion to say that he was overreacting. Maybe if Jaden had stayed a moment longer, hadn’t made a scene, he would’ve been able to see Bastion clap back. That would’ve been infinitely better than knocking over a chair and spilling wine everywhere.

“Do people,” Jaden tried to keep his voice steady, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning more heavily on Bastion’s side. “Do people say stuff like that a lot?”

“No,” Bastion’s cheek leaned on his head, breath moving his bangs as he sighed. “A few people have. They learn not to.”

“Thanks for defending my honor,” Jaden wanted to make it sound like a joke, lighten the mood and lift the weight that was settling inside him.

“I don’t need nor appreciate input on where I’ve chosen to lay my affections.”

“Maybe they’re right, you know.” Jaden couldn’t stop it from tumbling out, wincing a second later. That was pathetic. He sounded like the protagonist in that soap opera he’d binged last week at Syrus’ insistence, the two of them laid out on the couch, definitely not sober, laughing at how stupid and dramatic the script was. Now he was doing the same shit he’d mocked.

“No, they most definitely are not.”

The conviction in that statement jump-started his heart, making him lift up his head, staring into Bastion’s eyes. Protests were on the tip of his tongue, even as his Inner Bastion was telling him to listen to the Outer Bastion and not the flurry of irrational thoughts clouding his mind. They died as Bastion pulled him closer, reaching out to lay his hand over one of Jaden’s.

“I wanted you to come with me tonight. Not just because you’re my partner but because you’re my inspiration.” Bastion squeezed his hand and Jaden grabbed onto him, probably too tightly but his heart was pounding and his boyfriend’s hands were bigger and really warm and he needed the feeling of their palms pressed together to calm himself. “You’ve been so supportive of me, helped me even when you don’t understand, tolerated me staying up all night grading papers, and never complained about me repainting parts of the office when I run out of room to write on the walls. I wanted you to be here tonight. Dr. Zweinstein can take his opinions elsewhere.”

They were silent, just looking at each other, and Jaden felt like he should say something, but he couldn’t. His mind was blank, which was unfortunate because his heart was full and he wanted to thank Bastion for coming out here, for defending him, for being so perfect and wonderful, for being so loving. The anxieties and thoughts of not being enough, the image of Zweinstein staring at him over his glasses, those horrid fantasies of Bastion being with some nameless, faceless person in a lab coat—they all dissipated. They weren’t buried, just gone, like they’d never occupied his thoughts. His Inner Bastion was very smugly telling him that Jaden should’ve listened to him in the first place.

“How’d I get so lucky?” Jaden laughed, a real laugh, leaning in to kiss his boyfriend, pressing their lips together, feeling Bastion’s hand tighten around his own. Lingering for just a moment longer, he pulled back, resting their foreheads together, feeling lighter and happier and overwhelmingly content.

“I’m the lucky one.” Bastion smiled, tightening his hold on Jaden’s shoulders. “Will you come back inside with me?”

“Sure, yeah,” Jaden refrained from adding that if Zweinstein even looked at him the wrong way he’d throw a wine glass at him.

“Oh, here.” Bastion’s hold on him was gone and he was shrugging out of his blazer. “Take this.”

“Sorry,” Jaden looked down at the still-wet sleeves of his own blazer. “I’ll do laundry when we get home.”

“It’s quite alright. Please don’t do laundry. The last time you turned all of my white shirts gray.”

“Hey, come on,” Jaden stuck his tongue out, heard Bastion laughing at him. “I looked cute in that apron, though.”

“I’m not sure stapling hand towels together and tying them around your waist counts as an apron.”

“You aren’t denying that I looked cute.”

“No, I’m not.” Bastion helped Jaden out of his blazer, draping his own over Jaden’s shoulders.

There was something heavy in the front pocket of Bastion’s blazer, too big to be a phone, not jingly enough to be keys. “Babe?”

“Mmm?”

“What’s in here?”

“A flask.”

Bastion brought a flask? “I’m not complaining, babe, but, uh—why?”

“Well,” Bastion pushed up his sleeve to look at his watch, the one Jaden had gotten him for his birthday, the face decorated with little stars that glowed in the dark. “Alexis is giving a speech in about five minutes. Thought you might like to play a drinking game.”

“I’ve never been more in love with you than at this moment.” Jaden shot up, extending a hand to his boyfriend, who was laughing and looking perfect with that boring white shirt and eyes reflecting the starlight. “Let’s go back inside.”

#darkmagiattack #asks #tutorshipping #this was so fun thank you for requesting!!!!#i know this was supposed to be a fluffy ask but its insecure jaden hours

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loisfreakinglane · 4 years ago

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tscc, dark angel, angel

G A S P! SHOCK! A DEEP DIVE! lol thank you

tscc:

Favorite Male Character- DUDE THATS SUCH A HARD QUESTION suffice it to say this is either john or derek depending on when you ask, buuuuuuut terminator in my face i say john

Favorite Female Character- JESSEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Least Favorite Character- i. struggle to think of anybody i found bad or boring or anything???? oh okay you know what i have eternal mixed feelings about the character we know as eileen/alan/abraham and the weird choices around them. yeah thats all i got

Favorite Ship- derek/jesse my heart breaks and i am just a mess forevermore

Favorite Friendship- lmao there is no way to call it a friendship it is not a friendship but riley/jesse is so very fucked up in so many trillions of ways but god i’m obsessed with them......... also riley/john i would have fucking loved to see them have a real relationship, platonic or otherwise, their dynamic is SO GOOD and the possibility of their dynamic when they were both open about themselves.... fUCK

Favorite Quote- there are so many off the top of my head but like the biggest gutpunch to me personally was when jesse called derek out for his suicide attempt, asking what was he doing there when she found him and he just says ~i was waiting for you~ THO THO THO ALTERNATIVELY when they’re trying to get ellison to help program john henry and he says- you wanna teach it commands? start with the first ten.

Worst Character Death (if any)- uhhhhhh i think i like all of the character deaths on this show- i mean rileys death K I L L S me but i’m not angry about it and it was incredibly well done. dereks? maybe? i’m not actually mad about it but it was very abrupt. like i get it tho? OH WAIT I HAVE A REAL ONE friendgirl of johns who killed herself in the plotline that was never resolved bc of the writers strike. that was horrifying and ultimately we never even got a reason (beyond the obvious one they hinted at)

This made me so happy you have no idea Moment- what on this show makes anybody happy????? ever?????????????????????? uhhhhh. fuck. i mean the reveal about who riley is is SO GOOD i’m just always happy when the pieces slot together and we see new depth?

Saddest Moment- so many things on this show make me sob but like peak among them bc like you can feel your soul screaming bc you have no idea what could be done differently, when riley and john both ask the other if they’ve got anything they want to tell them, and they both say no they don’t EVEN THO THEY BOTH KNOW WHAT THE OTHER ONE WANTS TO SAY BUT THE ACTUALLY SAYING IT PART WOULD CHANGE LITERALLY EVERYTHING UGH FUCK KFUCK FUCKCCCKCK

Favorite Location- the stupid future tunnels where i want to see what happens next in the series finale FUCK

dark angel:

Favorite Male Character- uhhhhhhhhh even tho him being 95% of the tags every time i check have grated all of my nerves, yeah i still love alec the most when it comes to dudes

Favorite Female Character- max is a forever and ever and ever girl

Least Favorite Character- ames white. i don’t remember much about that plotline but i remember a lot of UGHS and groaning

Favorite Ship- cindy/diamond i’m mad forever I KNOW THEY WERE ONLY ONE EPISODE BUT ME/THEM FOREVER

Favorite Friendship- max/cindy eternally, the best ride or dies ever

Favorite Quote- fight the power, protect the downtrodden. blah blah, woof woof. ALSO max’s whole little once upon a time story about tinga...... :(

Worst Character Death (if any)- diamonds death was painful and i hated it and it was a dumb thing anyway. like at least she got revenge but MEH TAKE IT BACK I DON’T WANT THESE. worse character resurrection is zack they should have just let him stay dead instead of turning him into a robot (i like zack this isn’t a slam against him but it was an epic death for him) OH OH ALSO ANNIE FISHER she never should have died that was dumb and a waste of kandyse mcclure

This made me so happy you have no idea Moment- when cindy and max cheated the money off of those assholes and then beat them up, still in their itty bitty sparkly outfits and left with such flair :) but just also max forever........ cindy/max forever.......... mine own heart.

Saddest Moment- when the show decided to make clones a thing breaking the whole internal logic of the entire first season aka them not knowing what the kids looked like :( I SAD

Favorite Location- i always thought the jam pony set was really fun. i love that the whole last episode was set there.

angel:

Favorite Male Character- angel, with a side called gunn or connor YAH I LIKE CONNOR I SAID IT YOU CAN ALL SUCK IT

Favorite Female Character- cordelia chase forever and EVER nobody else on planet earth holds a candle to her

Least Favorite Character- look i love christian kane i do, hes amazing in leverage- but man lindsey......... hes fine when hes snarking at lilah tho i’m with lilah in that groaning and screaming at wr&h being so blatantly misogynistic in preferring weak ass flip flopper lindsey over LILAH. also lindsey in s5 blew they should have spent the money they wasted on him and eve and adam wahtever and just paid for stephanie to be a main

Favorite Ship- cangel OTP ETERNAL

Favorite Friendship- angel/gunn is such a good dynamic that you can feeeeeel the show dropping (along with so much of their gunn-centric content bc they didn’t know how to write for him and never thought hm maybe we should hire some black writers)

Favorite Quote- it’s a cliche at this point and theres many great quotes on this show but it really does hit home- if nothing we do matters, all that matters is what we do. cause thats all there is.

Worst Character Death (if any)- freds death is vile trash garbage and they should feel like vile trash garbage for doing her like that

This made me so happy you have no idea Moment- cordelia and angel falling asleep with baby connor between them talking about how to spend a big payday........ such marrieds content..........

Saddest Moment- ‘is that it? am i done?’ idk if this would have been a SADDEST MOMENT before glenn quinn passed away but it sure hits hard now. it also hits hard when they replay it in you’re welcome right before cordelia dies

Favorite Location- the hyperion hotel is one of my favorite sets in all of television. i just wish we’d explored more of it, and that they hadn’t ditched it in favor of that new wolfram&hart set, which was honestly very very boring to me

#i answered that all really fast and didn't reread it #so like i'm sorry if its incomprehensible #if i think too hard on any of these points i would literally never be able to publish this ask #I'M REALLY BAD AT MEMES #lexmurphy #meme

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thatpinkshinobi · 5 years ago

Text

The longest year

Hey! I was bored today and I started to write a couple of things and ended with a little one-shot for my OTP.

Honestly, they are just some drabbles pulled together.

· · ·

Summary: Kakashi works on his feelings, fighting against fate. Kakasaku fic. 2.7k words

· · · · · · · · · ·

Rain poured in front of them, Kakashi took it as a bad omen, nothing would be okay after that day. Sun wouldn't shine again. At least for him.

Sakura leaned against the rail, her hair falling down to one side, hiding her face from him.

"It's not going to work, right?"

Kakashi sighed. Her words ached more than he thought.

"No." He managed to say, not sure of his own voice.

The rain kept falling down.

"Thank you." Sakura turned her face slightly.

Kakashi smiled sadly, he had thaught her good. Her face was emotionless, her eyes didn't sparkle as they used to. Her pink nose betrayed her unspilled tears. He hated himself for causing her pain, but it was the best for her.

"I'm sorry," Kakashi whispered.

"Please Kakashi, just don't..." Sakura bit her lip. She mouthed a couple of times, not able to say what she was feeling. "See you around."

Sakura patted his shoulder. That would be the last time she would go through that door, the last time she would be at their home.

· · · · ·

Kakashi wondered how fate worked. Once he had thought his life would be miserable, that it would end before his thirties, that he wouldn't enjoy seeing his friends getting older or he wouldn't be there to witness a life where peace existed.

Where his only worry was if he was running late for dinner.

Life was hard. Simple as it sounded, Kakashi knew it better than anyone. For the last thirty-something years he hadn't asked too much in return. He thanked for every new day, knowing that it could be the last he lived.

But life had taken an unexpected turn. A pink spark of joy.

· · · · ·

Kakashi sat on his usual spot, he wasn't aware he had a favorite place until he found himself sharing his space with someone else. Her chair rested on the other side of the coffee table, a book remained open on the seat.

Kakashi looked around his apartment.

He hadn't noticed how much she had crawled into his life, little things like the two cups on the board, the fridge full of healthy food, the set of beauty products on his bathroom. It started with a hairbrush, and it had ended with her mail delivered to his place.

Kakashi knew that one day she would be back to retrieve her things, and it would be like nothing had happened. One year faded into oblivion. Not even their friends would know about it.

· · · · ·

That had been his mistake. Kakashi thought. One of many he had done.

For the last year, he had been dating Sakura, they had decided to keep it secret until he felt comfortable with the situation. Fear was guilty of never feeling enough around her. No one knew about their secret.

Every night, while she rested between his arms, she promised him they would make it, that they would find a way to make it work. Kakashi knew she was doing all the job, leaving him with the simple task of accepting what she had to give. But again, he failed her.

· · · · ·

Being the Hokage gave you enough time to think about you had accomplished until that day. Kakashi frowned, knowing that he hadn't achieved anything other than missions and his current role. Nothing worth to mention. He had failed to his team, he had failed to his students, and now he had failed what could have been his life partner.

Whenever he thought about the good things he had done recently, all were thanks to Sakura. She had self-proclaimed his lifeguard, guiding him around, helping him from drowning in his own misery.

Kakashi appreciated all the time Sakura had spent on him, but he was not worthy. She was young and free. He wouldn't be the one to deny her the joys of life. Sakura deserved someone who protected her, someone capable of loving her unconditionally.

She didn't need an old rag, full of fears, afraid of commitment.

· · · · ·

It had been a month since he had broken Sakura's heart, Kakashi thought he would drift back to his old life. He was wrong.

Every night he woke up drenched in sweat, always the same nightmare. Kakashi awaited her reassuring touch for a fraction of second. Those seconds were worst than his dream, the deepness of his loneliness reminded him that she was gone. He as the only responsible for her going.

Kakashi looked around, those four walls, the only witnesses of his tears. Had he done the right thing? Wasn't him man enough to accept his errors and run back to her arms? How long would it be before he was driven into madness?

He knew that sooner than later, someone would knock at his door at three am, wondering what those awful noises were. How would he explain that those howls for help were his?

A shy knock on his window reminded him that he wasn't alone. Tenzō and his room would be the only witnesses of his mental break downs.

Kakashi lay down, taking her pillow, shrugging against her. The faint scent of her shampoo fading day after day.

Kakashi wished he could blame someone else for his choices, someone who he could point and accuse of all his disgraces. Someone who could take responsibility for his own actions.

Someone who could grab him by the neck and force him to see the biggest mistake of his life. Someone who could lead her back to her.

Someone who told him it wasn't too late.

· · · · ·

Kakashi sat on his office, his desk to his back and Konoha in front of his eyes. He wasn't sure how he had ended it there. His mind was working automatically for him.

People should feel proud of him, he had attended every appointment he had and worked on the papers above his desk. By the end of the day, he even had managed to visit the academy before returning to his office.

It felt like a dream, Kakashi could see himself working, but it wasn't him. It was the body of a lifeless person, just as the bodies of Edo Tensei. He couldn't remember the last time he had felt like himself, he felt obligated to continue his life, despite his efforts to end everything.

He didn't want to feel anything, and finally, he had succeeded.

· · · · ·

Kakashi felt they would be okay when he saw her hanging around with her friends. She wasn't laughing or smiling, but at least she was sharing time with people. He, on the other hand, was mourning his loss at the top of his office. Tsunade shook her head behind him.

"You are neglecting yourself," Tsunade left a bento box next to him. "She knows it too."

Knowing she still asked for him stirred his stomach. It wasn't a nice feeling.

Kakashi locked his eyes on hers. His skinny hand pushed the food away. He wondered when was the last time he had a proper meal.

"Starving yourself to death wouldn't be the brightest thing to do Kakashi," Tsunade closed her hand around his arm. "I don't know how your decision was the best choice."

"She needs to be with someone who provides her happiness," Kakashi sighed. "What if she wants a family, how can I offer her something I didn't have?"

Tsunade bit her lip.

"She's not doing good," She waited, thinking if her next words would be helpful or not. They weren't. "She misses you."

Kakashi wanted to say that he missed her too, that everything would be okay, that he wanted her to stay. That he needed her more than air, that the simple thought of having her back to his life would be the greatest accomplishment of his life. That he would die for her, as long as she came back to his life.

Kakashi sighed. Hating his mixed feelings.

"I'm not sure how to feel about it."

He wouldn't be lying again, he needed her back.

· · · · ·

Tsunade hid her smile from Kakashi. It had taken the dumbass six months to realize he loved her. Six months were she had seen him lost all of his will and his health. The way his cloak hanged around his bony shoulders made her shudder. He had it worse than her student.

Neither Kakashi or Sakura knew that Tsunade was aware of their relationship. She had seen it coming and expected it to end on a wedding and babies. But not even her had counted with the closed mind of the silver-haired man, the obnoxious little brat had been so selfish to let Sakura into his heart.

And now she had two broken hearts leading the safety of the village.

She needed a plan, she needed to do it now.

"Come on Kakashi walk with me..." Tsunade took the bento box and tugged his hand to the door. "Did I ever told you I was in love with Jiraiya?"

Tsunade smiled sadly. She wouldn't let them commit the same mistake.

· · · · ·

When Kakashi though things were getting better, rumors started to reach his ears. His world sank deep into the pit.

The Godaime's apprentice was getting married.

Everything started after Sakura left for an extended mission to Suna. She had spent six months around their children hospital and secret missions with the Kazekage.

Shikamaru had been the first person to end the rumors.

"She's marrying Kankuro."

Kakashi didn't need the background story. Any man would die to marry her. Even him.

For the last six months, he had worked on his mental health, Tsunade had provided enough guidance, helping him to feel confident about him and Sakura. Even hopeful. He knew he was on the right path to fulfill her needs, he wouldn't hide in the shadows like the last time. He loved her.

"...she's not coming back."

All his hard work would be for nothing. He had missed the opportunity that fate had given him.

"Out," Kakashi growled.

· · · · ·

Shikamaru was a smart person. He didn't need to be told twice, he left the room, closing the door behind him.

It didn't matter that Kakashi wasn't on his best form, he still could be lethal. Not for nothing, he was the Hokage.

Tsunade leaned against the wall, shaking her head. The sound of obscenities being yelled filled the air. A series of noises repeated for minutes, every time something bigger crashing against the wall.

Silence came after an hour. Shikamaru and Tsunade waited outside the room.

Kakashi emerged from the room, bloody fists hanged at each side of his body. His eyes burned with a thousand fires. Tsunade smiled, finally, some emotion played around those charcoal orbs.

"CLEAN THIS SHIT!" Kakashi roared as he walked down the hall.

"Does he..." Shikamaru pointed at his back.

"He will be alright."

· · · · ·

Kakashi couldn't believe what he had done. Was this part of his plan of becoming a better man?

Positively, it didn't.

He ran his bloody hands around his face, his knuckles ached every time he opened his hands.

Where it was that blonde with her medic skills when he needed her?

Anger blinded his sight. Everything was red, he wanted to smash and destroy things.

He indeed was stupid.

It took him a year to realize he loved her.

And now she was gone.

But when he believed he couldn't be more stupid, he sent that hawk to Suna. Asking, no, demanding her back to Konoha. He didn't care if she didn't love him anymore, he deserved it. But he wouldn't deny his opportunity to prove her wrong, that it was going to work.

They had a future together.

· · · · ·

By the time Tsunade found him on his apartment, his fists were two purplish masses. His breathing was irregular, but his eyes still sparkled with that mischievous look.

"The Kazekage is not happy with your request." Tsunade laughed. "What on earth made you write that letter?"

"I need her back, I don't care if I start the fifth Ninja war."

"Uhm..."

Tsunade smiled. Her hands closed around his when she extended his fingers, a hiss left his lips. She ignored him as her chakra healed all the little fissures around his knuckles.

"What else did the letter said?" Kakashi asked her, his voice cautious.

"Why don't you discover it by yourself?"

Tsunade left his side, letting him see behind her back.

Kakashi gasped.

· · · · ·

Two green eyes observed him carefully.

Tsunade stroke his cheek tenderly before leaving them alone.

Kakashi had a regression, it was like that first time she had spent the night in his place. Her eyes were curious but wary.

"Is it the truth?" her voice was hoarse.

She lifted the scroll he had sent to Suna.

Kakashi nodded.

Tears fell from her face, a thousand emotions overwhelmed her.

"Every single word."

Kakashi tapped his feet nervously, waiting for her reaction. His fingers ached, no longer by the bruises, but by the need of feeling her skin against his.

Kakashi saw a pink glow before a tender body smashed against his. Her hands traveled to his mask, taking it away, revealing what she had missed. He took her in his arms, leveling his face with hers. Tears flooded like rivers down her cheeks, her giggles mixed with cries.

"Oh, Kakashi!" She cried against his lips.

Kakashi wanted to say a lot of things, but his body craved what he had missed for the last twelve months. Every kiss tasted salty, he couldn't tell if it was because of her tears or his.

Kakashi held her tight to his chest, feeling the rhythm of her heart against his, beating as one.

"I'm sorry..." He cried, trailing kisses down her jaw. "I never understood before..."

"Don't..." Sakura took his head between her hands. "I love you."

Kakashi smiled.

"I love you too."

· · · · ·

Kakashi was sure fate was different for everyone. But it didn't mean you couldn't change it. Nothing was written over a stone.

And he was happy about it. He wanted to rewrite his future.

If someone had told him years ago, he would be marrying his former student, he would be laughing about it.

But fate proved him wrong, once again.

Kakashi had been nervous when he saw her walk down the aisle dressed in white. His hands sweated uncontrollably. Genma smiled at him, giving him his handkerchief to dry his hands. He winked at him, assuring him everything would be alright.

And it was.

Until he felt the first kick against Sakura's bump, the little knock against his hand sent shivers down his spine.

Would he be able to do it?

That question kept woking him in the middle of the night, until the day the little creature burst outside Sakura.

When Kakashi arrived at the hospital, he found most of his friends in the waiting room, they congratulated him for having such a beautiful baby.

Kakashi growled. Everyone had seen his baby except him. Kakashi damned the council for keeping him away from that moment. His stupid meetings and last-minute missions could have waited.

Now he was in front of the door, just inches away from Sakura and the offspring of their love.

Kakashi knocked twice before her voice answered him.

"Come in!"

Kakashi walked inside the room, moving in his tiptoes around the bed, the little bump in her arms moved slightly. A glance of silver caught his attention.

"Do you want to hold her?" Sakura offered him the bump. He shook his head.

"Her?"

A drop of cold sweat ran down his neck. A girl? They were expecting a boy. What was he supposed to do with a girl?

Sakura giggled.

"Kakashi, I want to introduce you to Hatake Hayami."

Sakura uncovered the baby on her arms.

When the bump heard her name, she opened her eyes. Two pair of green eyes sparkled, leaving Kakashi breathless.

His world no longer gravitated around him, nor Sakura.

Everything that mattered disappeared, his world had a new reason to live.

Kakashi knew everything would be okay when their baby greeted him, she had been waiting for him.

And for once, fate had smiled at him.

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