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cheri-translates · 5 years ago

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[CN] Gavin’s Late Autumn Date (Eng Translation)

🍒 Warning: This post contains detailed spoilers for a date which has not been released in English servers! 🍒

This post is dedicated to @stehkotori, an incredible woman who created and maintains a home for us on Discord to share our love for MLQC. She’s also very encouraging and sweet 😭💕

Kiss Dates Collection: Kiro // Lucien // Victor

Hearing yet another bout of loud laughter from downstairs, I take up my phone and enter Gavin’s number, planning to tell him to meet me directly in the music room.

Just as the dial tone sounds, I hear a familiar ringtone behind me.

I turn around to see Gavin leaning against the door frame, his lips lifted in a gentle smile.

[Note] He only has one official CG in this date so I made another myself]

MC: You actually found me! I was about to tell you to come to the music room directly.

Gavin: Mr Keller said you disappeared right after signing the attendance, so I guessed that you’d be here.

MC: I’m not the type to participate in such lively events. Mr Keller will understand.

It is Loveland High’s hundred-year anniversary today. As “Outstanding Alumni”, Gavin and I have been invited to participate in the ceremony.

However, it’s a little too noisy with the announcements and music blaring downstairs.

Furthermore, as a mere producer for a small program, I have nothing in common to talk about with the distinguished figures present today. It’s best to stay in the music room, where I can enjoy the peace and quiet.

MC: According to the schedule, all the outstanding alumni have to go on stage to shake hands with the Principal. While I’m far from being “outstanding”, you’re not.

MC: Ever since Principal Fang heard that the current commander of the Special Task Force graduated from Loveland High, he’s been wanting to meet you.

Gavin: I’ve never liked participating in lively events. You know that.

He walks over, lowering his eyes to meet mine.

Gavin: Are you playing the piano?

I scoot to the side, patting the empty space on the piano bench.

Gavin smiles and sits down next to me.

MC: Do you feel as though we’ve been coming to school quite often?

Gavin: Mm, but I like the feeling of coming back here with you. It brings back many memories.

MC: Things from high school?

Gavin’s gaze falls onto the black and white piano keys, his amber eyes filled with the tranquil daylight of late autumn.

He doesn’t respond to my question, as though recalling something. He seems to have entered a trance, the corners of his lips raised slightly.

I rarely see such an expression on his face.

MC: Gavin?

I tug on his sleeve gently, eyes full of queries.

Gavin: Some things from high school, and some things from the Special Task Force.

There is a smile in his eyes as he speaks, as if all his recollections are happy memories.

Gavin: I haven’t thought about how to tell you about them yet.

Curious, I stare at him for a few seconds. I lean over to pull on his left hand.

MC: In that case, you have the duration of one song to organize your words.

Gavin places his fingers on the keys obediently.

Gavin: All right, I’ll do my best to keep up with you.

As soon as the prelude starts, Gavin instantly casts me a glance – this is the tune most familiar to us.

The chords he plays with his left hand easily match the melody I play with my right. We don’t make a single mistake.

Accompanying the sounds of the piano, many images resurface in my mind.

The scene when I met him again, the ginkgo bracelet on my wrist which accompanies me day and night, every sunrise we waited for together, every starlight we have seen…

If I were to take count, every memorable moment was spent together with him.

MC: Actually, I came here once when you weren’t around. There wasn’t a reason why I did it. I just had a sudden whim to take a look.

Gavin: Did you gain anything?

MC: It was dismissal time, and the field was very crowded. I think there was a class having a basketball competition. You could hear their heated shouts from outside the school gate.

MC: Oh, I even saw two people laying on the flower bed stand doing corrections for a test paper. Maybe the teacher wanted to check them. My language teacher back then used to love checking our test papers during night revision sessions.

MC: When going up the teaching building, I was thinking… did we often meet at the stairway back then? Did we pass by each other, just that we didn’t know one another?

Gavin: We didn’t.

His tone is plain and ordinary, as though we are talking about trivial matters like what to have for a meal.

Gavin: We met often, but never passed by each other. I remember every moment I saw you in school. Time, location, weather, your expression, your clothes – I remember them all.

His fingers linger between the black and white piano keys, sunlight flashing in his eyes.

Gavin: Even now, I still remember.

With the sudden pause of my hand, the tune abruptly stops.

MC: …we seem to have really missed out on a lot.

Gavin responds to my sudden lament with an expression reflecting a lack of understanding. He doesn’t probe, waiting for me to continue.

MC: I’ve thought about a few things since a very long time ago. For example… cheering you on at the basketball court after school. And then proudly telling the entire class that the name of the tallest and most accurate shooter is ‘Gavin’!

MC: Back then, there was a small stall outside the school gate selling red bean puffs. $3 for one, $5 for two. It was crispy on the outside and sweet on the inside, with a generous amount of filling. You’ve definitely not eaten it before…

MC: Now, the Cityscape Management doesn’t allow the setting up of stalls outside the school gate, so I don’t have the chance to bring you there to eat.

MC: We used to have late night self-study sessions and were only dismissed after 9pm. The girls in the same class would find company to walk with. If you were there, you’d have been able to send me home.

Upon hearing this, Gavin hesitates slightly.

Gavin: Um, I didn’t have a car back then.

MC: I’m referring to a bicycle!

Gavin: …you can continue.

MC: Piano lessons were way too dull. Once I sit here, it would be for several hours, playing the same song over and over again. Sometimes, I’d think of going out to have fun - to go shopping, sing karaoke, eat all kinds of good food, or do my homework while having a drink in a small shop.

MC: Also, the 800-metres physical test was literally my nightmare! If you were there to practice running with me, I wouldn’t have passed only after my third test.

The moments I spent in Loveland High replay in my mind, but the things that are brimming in my memory, apart from the purity of youth, blazing passion and ignorance, seems to be missing something.

MC: If I could be with you back then… my deepest memories in high school wouldn’t have just been of exams.

If not for the misunderstanding, if not for us going around in circles – the tedious high school homework and boring practices would have had a completely different experience.

Whenever I think about these possibilities, I feel sorry for us.

I pretend to be angry, loosening myself from his grip. I stand up, wear a serious expression, and lodge a “complaint” against him.

MC: It’s all your fault! …you didn’t give me a chance to know you earlier.

Astonishment flashes in his eyes, and his voice is hesitant.

Gavin: …I didn’t think that you would have such thoughts.

MC: Well, now you do – we missed out on a whole six years! Even if we want to make up for it every day, it wouldn’t be enough even if you spend a full twenty-four hours with me.

Of course, I’m just joking around with Gavin. However, his expression clearly shows that he has taken my words seriously.

He stands up slowly. When his eyes meet mine, they contain a sorrowful smile that I haven’t seen for a very long time.

I’m about to coquettishly say that he has to repay his debt, but he traps me in between his arms.

Before I can react, a familiar scent takes my breath away.

Without a shred of hesitation, he kisses me.

The kiss carries an overtone of recklessness and ravaging – as he fiercely rubs the territory between my lips and teeth, his hands grip my waist tightly.

Searing breaths descend on my lips. I open my eyes slightly and see unsuppressed aggression brimming in his amber-coloured gaze.

I suddenly recall how I had trembled when meeting his eyes for the first time.

MC: Senior…

I try to open my mouth amidst his continuous demands, but am only able to release an incoherent mess of words.

Gavin eventually stops for a few seconds. His breathing is ragged, but he doesn’t pull back.

Gavin: I was just thinking about that.

He lets out an incredibly soft laugh, gently tucking messy strands of hair on my cheek behind my ear with his left hand. His lips follow after his warm fingertips, descending on my cheek again and again.

Gavin: Whatever I owe you, I’ll return them one by one… is that okay?

He leans over to my ear and speaks in a low voice. Mixed with desire, the sound is enveloped with cloudy breaths, and every wisp leads to an itch in my heart.

MC: Gavin.

There are so many things in my heart that I want to say. In the end, I can only think of calling his name gently.

The corners of Gavin’s lips are hooked into a smile. He suddenly lifts me up with a hand.

MC: …!

In my panic, I grab onto his shoulders. He simply tilts his head and smiles, placing me directly onto the piano.

The piano lets out a noise in response to the sudden weight. Just as I’m about to exclaim, my lips are sealed once again—

Student A: What was that sound just now?

Student B: Probably someone in the music room.

Student A: Want to take a look?

Although the footsteps and voices outside grow increasingly louder, Gavin maintains an air of disregard, continuing to encircle me in his arms.

He not only ignores the voices, but also takes a step forward. He puts his knee on the piano bench, pushing me completely onto the piano.

A few piano keys resound at the contact, embellishing our ragged breathing.

Student B: What’s there to see in the music room? It’s definitely someone from our club anyway. Let’s hurry over to the ceremony – I heard that the commander of the Special Task Force would be here today!

Student A: Are you serious? I saw him on television once – he’s super alpha!

Student B: Mr Zheng said so the last time, so it shouldn’t be wrong. Hurry up, we wouldn’t get good seats if we’re late!

Hasty footsteps pass by, not even stopping for a moment outside the music room.

I look towards Gavin, lightly tugging at the corner of his shirt. At the same time, I gently bite his lip, wordlessly expressing the feelings in my heart at this very moment.

As though punishing me for my mischief, his eyes narrow slightly. With a hand on my cheek, he presses my entire body onto the piano.

MC: …

I close my eyes, holding onto his solid arms. I lift my head to welcome his lips, savouring his unique breath.

The person in front of me has shed off the roughness of youth, leaving behind only the purity of youth. He often makes me forget that he once used to be unrestrained like the wind.

He has a body that is stronger than everyone else’s, a tough soul, a will that is as firm as steel, and a heart full of tenderness – it is soft beyond compare.

I cling to his waist tightly using my calves, wanting to brand every part of him into my heart.

I want to bear his everything.

Gavin: …

Another light laugh enters my eyes. I open my eyes halfway, feeling the wind slowly sweep past my burning skin.

Even before I sober up from the deep kiss that almost stripped me of consciousness, the scene in front of my eyes causes me to let out a cry of surprise.

Countless ginkgo leaves are floating in the air, dancing outside the window.

The color gold covers every window. Every leaf seems to be drawn by something, spreading their wings as they spin past the floor.

Students standing along the corridor of the teaching building also exclaim, and are unable to hold back their surprised “wow”s!

Gavin smiles faintly. It’s only after a long while before the repeated warmth lingering on my lips gradually leaves the scorching ambience.

Gavin: Do you like it?

I straighten up, leaping off the piano neatly. I kneel on the piano bench with one leg, pressing myself against him.

MC: I like it. I like it very much.

I raise my head, using my fingers to rub his chin, his lips, the tip of his nose, and the corner of his brow.

MC: I like it so much that… I don’t know how I can prove to you just how much I like it.

Gavin reaches out to hold the hand which has drifted to the space between his eyebrows. He has a generous smile.

Gavin: …we did miss out on a lot. Back then, I wasn’t certain if I could have you for life.

I look straight into his bright eyes, and laugh quietly.

MC: And are you very certain now?

Gavin: Mm.

Gavin responds without much thought. His slightly raised eyebrows reveal a sense of pride.

Gavin: I hope you can give me an answer to this question as well.

He holds onto my waist, leaning over to hug me tightly in his arms. Even though he doesn’t continue with his questions, I immediately surrender.

MC: It’s all yours. The rest of my life is yours. The years we missed are also yours.

Everything I have, I’ll give to you.

I won’t leave anything to myself. I’ll give it all to you.

🌸 MOMENTS 🌸

Gavin’s Post: Today’s pork rib soup tastes great.

MC: Is Commander Gavin satisfied with the supper which was prepared with love?

Gavin: There’s no need to wait up for me next time.

Gavin’s Post: Today’s pork rib soup tastes great.

MC: You’ll do the cooking over the weekend.

Gavin: Yes ma’am.

Gavin’s Post: Today’s pork rib soup tastes great.

MC: Can you taste my new recipe?

Gavin: You added ginkgo, right?

#mlqc #mlqc cn #mlqc spoilers #mlqc gavin #I thought Victor's date would be the most intense #I was WRONG

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frostedfaves · 4 years ago

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Tactical Village

Pairing: Jake Peralta x fem!reader

Summary: Y/N gets a little jealous on Tactical Village Day. Rewrite of 1x19.

Word Count: 1.7k

Warnings: mentions of gun use

Tactical Village Day. A national holiday at the nine-nine, and everyone had a different reason for celebrating. Rosa was out for blood, simply because it was in her nature to be. Terry had the stress of raising twins locked, loaded and ready to be released. Amy wanted to prove her skill level to the captain and check out the new handguns (but good luck getting her to admit her obsession with 'finger feel'). Jake wanted "Coolest Kill" and a children's karate trophy. Truth be told, all I wanted this year was to want Jake less.

It's exhausting being friends with the person you're hiding your feelings from, even more so when his best friend Charles thinks everyone is in love with Jake and overthinks all of our interactions. I'd fully planned to spend the day perfecting my tactical skills while listening to Jake explain the extensive backstory of his character as a friend. Then fate decided to throw a monkey wrench into that plan, and unfortunately for me, she was attractive.

"I'm so sorry," Jake awkwardly laughed, letting go of her arms after saving her from falling. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine! I...wait, Peralta? Jake Peralta, hi! How have you been?" I couldn't fight the rolling of my eyes as she flipped her hair over her shoulder with a tilt of her head, grinning.

"I've been good, yeah!" He noticed her eyes flicker over to me and turned to introduce me. "Y/N, this is Nikki Becker. Nikki, this is Y/N L/N, my friend and fellow detective from the nine-nine."

"Pleased to meet you, Y/N." She shook my hand lightly before practically tossing it aside, never once taking her eyes off Jake. "I'm so glad we found each other again! We were best friends in the academy."

I glared at her as my arms found their way across my chest, locking together. "I thought Rosa was your academy BFF, Jake—"

"People can have more than one best friend," she quickly cut in, finally looking at me with a sickly sweet smile and eyes that could kill if they'd given us real bullets.

"Sure." I turned and walked over to where Rosa stood, smirking as I approached her. "Don't say anything," I quickly mumbled as I huffed out a frustrated breath and she chuckled.

"Why not? You were clearly winning."

"What?" I saw her eyes trained on something else and followed them to see Jake joining us.

"Hey, Y/N! Ready to check out those handguns now?" Before I could respond, we were also joined by Nikki.

"Jakey! They have this new gun that attacks through sound that's supposed to be really accurate. Come check it out with me!" she insisted, tugging on his arm as he looked to me with a raised eyebrow.

"It's fine, I'll go with Rosa." I held a smile as he finally let her drag him away until they were completely out of my sight, turning to Rosa with a sigh. "Let's not even talk about it. I don't want Charles to hear."

"He's gone to get a 'cafe con leche', so we've got about ten minutes. But if you really don't wanna talk about it we can draw some hair on the targets, grab some brand new weapons, and pretend we're damaging the vocal chords that produce that stupid voice of hers." I laughed and followed her outside.

The rest of our field testing and target practicing time went by smoothly...for Nikki, at least. She spent most of the time latched onto Jake like a long-haired leech while I spent my time shooting targets until they were covered with thick layers of paint, constantly running out of bullets every time I heard her vomit inducing giggle.

"Dude, are you alright?" Amy questioned when I slammed down an empty gun and reached for another one.

"Perfectly fine, Ames," I replied without looking at her as I shot five straight bullets into the poor target's head.

"Okay, I think you've had enough practice." She turned the safety on and took the gun from my hands, setting it back on the table I got it from. "What's going on with you?"

I parted my lips to answer her, quickly closing them again and turning to glare at giggly Nikki and oblivious Jake as he showed her how to handle a new assault rifle. Feeling sick to my stomach, I faced Amy again and tried hard to paint on a smile that she wasn't buying.

"Why don't you just save his and what's-her-face's time and tell him how you feel?"

I sputtered out a laugh. "Tell him how I—what? You're hilarious. No, I've decided to take a page from Rosa's book. Wait until I'm on my deathbed and then tell him how I feel...or felt. I don't know who I'm gonna like by then. Point is I can't get rejected when I'm dead."

"Y/N, that's ridiculous! You're really going to risk what could be the start of a great relationship? You and Jake talk about everything."

"This is different. There's a very real possibility that telling him how I feel could ruin the whole friendship and I'm just not ready for that, okay?"

She sighed. "Alright, I get it. But at least try to act like you're not imagining that girl's face every time you shoot a weapon." She gave me a quick pat on the shoulder and moved over a bit to work on her own target.

"No promises," I told her as I picked up the gun she took from me earlier.

We were now in our training simulation. Sneaky little Amy insisted that she should do perimeter security with Rosa and Charles because she thinks we would "kill at being the assault team, no pun intended". I think it was just her way of saying "tell Jake how you feel".

Luckily Jake was too involved with perfecting Rex Buckingham in all of his signature move and catchphrase glory to give me a chance to bring up any kind of feelings to him. I was especially thankful I had my back to him when he told me some little fact Nikki told him earlier, because I simply couldn't hide my grimace at the mere mention of her name.

We'd just approached the end of the hallway when shots rang out before I could react. I eyed the paint in my hair and on the wall by my head, frozen in place as Jake took the perp down.

"No one shoots a mate when Rex is around," he proudly stated in his accent with a grin, instantly letting it fall when he turned to me. "Hey, are you okay?"

I closed my eyes tightly before opening them and meeting his. "Okay, so I was going to save this for my deathbed someday but apparently I can die randomly in a hallway. So here goes. I like you. I have for a really long time and it sucks being friends with you and not being able to say anything because I don't want to ruin what we already have. But it sucks even more not being able to have more with you and definitely watching you and clingy Nikki together sucked the most."

He looked at me for a second with an unreadable expression, about to respond just as he was cut off by our radios.

"Peralta, L/N. Hostages in room 409, armed suspects."

"We'll talk later," he assured me with a small smile as he took off down the hall, and I couldn't tell if I should be worried or relieved.

The excitement of a perfect run and setting the course record along with the odd situation of Jake using Scully's move kept the squad occupied all the way to Shaw's. I hadn't had a moment alone with him since my big hallway confession and I only grew more anxious with time.

"Three shots of Jack Daniels, please." I kept my eyes on the liquor bottles as I waited for the bartender to come back, aware of Amy coming to sit next to me.

"Celebrating or drowning your problems?" she joked and I simply rolled my eyes at her. "Okay I'm sorry for setting you up like that but I just didn't want to see you struggle so much."

"Well good news for you. I don't think I'll be able to struggle anymore if Jake never talks to me ever again. I've officially scared him off."

"I promise you haven't." I froze in place again as he slid onto the stool on my left. "Hey Santiago, can we get a moment alone?" He waited until Amy disappeared before speaking again. "About what you said earlier—"

"Jake, it's okay. Whether you wanna keep being friends with me or if knowing I like you is too much to handle, it's okay. Really. Whatever you decide, I'll find some way to—"

Warm lips landed on mine and I closed my eyes instantly. I waited until his arms wrapped around my waist and found a place to rest my hands on, wanting to confirm that I wasn't imagining a second of this. My eyes fell open again when he pulled away, a little wider this time because I was still slightly doubting what this means.

"I know that probably wasn't the clearest answer so I'll say this. I'm sorry that I let Nikki ruin what was supposed to be a fun time for us, but I can't say I regret it because she helped me find out something I was too scared to ask you on my own." He smiled and pushed his fingers through my left hand. "I'm also really glad you didn't wait till your deathbed to tell me because I would prefer to start being your boyfriend now."

I pulled my hand away and lightly shoved his shoulder. "Take me on a date first, clingy." I grinned and he laughed, quickly handing over some cash to the bartender and holding up one of the shots.

"To the start of something more."

I tapped my glass to his. "To something more."

"To something more," Charles added, grabbing the third shot and tapping it to ours. He downed the drink and pulled us both into a hug before we could react. "I can't wait to babysit your children."

Jake and I made eye contact and nodded, ducking out of the hug simultaneously and locking hands as we walked off. When we were far enough away, we toasted again and drank, staring at each other with possibilities of the future reflecting in our eyes.

#queue #jake peralta #jake peralta x reader #jake peralta x fem!reader #jake peralta imagine #brooklyn nine nine #brooklyn 99 #brooklyn nine nine imagine #brooklyn nine nine x reader #b99 fic #b99 imagine #b99 x reader #b99 fanfic

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mostlymovieswithmax · 3 years ago

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Movies I watched in September

I skipped a month again. But not to worry. This is a wrap-up of all the movies I watched in the month of September (2021). I think I maintained a steady ratio throughout but perhaps there’s not as much on the list this time because I wanted to get on with other things, be that work-wise or just trying to get out to the beach as much as possible and make the most of the last dregs of summertime. I went swimming in the sea a lot! But I also got to catch the new James Wan movie, Malignant (twice!) as well as the new James Bond, No Time To Die. Not to mention a couple of classics! My hope again with this list is to introduce people to new movies that they may otherwise not have seen or perhaps have never have heard of. These short reviews are my own subjective opinions on each individual movie. I’m thinking maybe a more informal approach to movie criticism can help include others who are just passing through. So here is every film I watched from the 1st to the 30th of September.

Fanny and Alexander (1982) - 8/10

Coming from Ingmar Bergman, I was surprised to see just how warm this was. I’m a big fan of the Swedish director and while this isn’t my favourite from him (perhaps due to it needing a second watch, or the fact I watched it in three chunks because it’s about three hours long and I overestimated how much time I had in the day) it’s still an interesting departure from what I’ve come to expect from him. Fanny and Alexander is a dreamy Christmassy movie that presents an overarching theme of love, spending a large portion of its runtime just hanging out with this big family on Christmas and showing how close they are. I would love to watch this again at some point in December and see how my opinion shifts but for now, while it could meandre in places, I can’t deny how unique a movie it is.

Another Round (2021) - 10/10

I had seen Thomas Vinterberg’s latest film before this point but this was the first time I got to see it in a cinema. Luckily for me my local independent cinema was showing it one night and while they had a few technical hiccups with setting everything up, the movie itself was still fantastic. Following a handful of school teachers who experiment with whether they can maintain a certain level of blood alcohol throughout the day, Another Round demonstrates a sense of unease and sadness throughout an otherwise comedic tone. These emotions are balanced perfectly, boosting an already intriguing concept that examines our relationship with alcohol from every angle.

Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings (2021) - 4/10

Straight after Another Round, I made my way to the chain cinema to meet up with friends to see the new Marvel movie. At this point, having had my second dose of the Covid vaccine that morning, I was starting to feel the effects and I was not doing well. But I watched the movie anyway, all the while wanting to be in bed. Shang-Chi was massively underwhelming and I’d go as far as to say it was even incompetent. Truth be told, I like the Marvel Cinematic Universe but from the get-go I already wasn’t hyped for this movie and I was expecting it to be about mediocre but what I got was something a lot worse. I won’t rehash what I’ve already said on this film so if you want to hear me rant about it a bit then I would recommend checking out episode 47 of my podcast, The Sunday Movie Marathon.

Your Name. (2016) - 6/10

Ultimately this was a fun little romance movie but I can’t say I understand why people adore it, nor do I understand why it needed to be animated. For what it’s worth, I found it cute and entertaining but nothing much jumped out to me.

Phil Wang: Philly Philly Wang Wang (2021) - 7/10

I’m always stumped on what to say about stand-up shows. It was good! I enjoyed Phil Wang talking about different things in a funny way and it got some laughs out of me. Admittedly I’m writing this a couple of weeks after watching it but it’s certainly a decent way to spend an hour if you’re looking for something light and fun.

The Lego Batman Movie (2017) - 6/10

I remember seeing this in the cinema with two of my friends and the theatre wasn’t exactly packed but those that were there were either children or parents. But I like The Lego Batman Movie! Clearly this was made by fans of the character as it’s packed with a lot of details and references from old comic runs but as someone who has never read the comics or seen those older movies, it still managed to be entertaining and while I won’t say it’s quite as good as The Lego Movie, the animation is still top notch and the voice actors are certainly giving it their all, especially Will Arnett as the titular character. It’s just a bit of fun!

Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991) - 10/10

A friend of mine told me to go to the screening of Terminator 2 at my local because they themselves weren’t able to attend. The first Terminator movie is a real gem and one of the most 80’s-type movies I’ve ever seen. I was excited to watch T2, remembering next to nothing about what I watched of it when I was a child. So it was just me in this screening, with one person in a row in front of me, and one other person behind me. If I had it my way, I would have been the only person there because this is honestly one of the best movies I’ve ever seen and it was very hard not to yell out every time something incredible happened, especially when it’s so action-packed and basically goes all out at every opportunity to deliver some of the most jaw-dropping effects or choreography. Truly there is never a dull moment and I was grinning like a lunatic the entire time. This film rocks!

Mirror (1975) - 7/10

Andrei Tarkovsky is one of my favourite directors and the new Criterion release of his film, Mirror, had been on my shelf for a while. My friend and fellow podcast co-host, Chris, was also interested in watching this movie so we decided we’d give it a watch and review it on the podcast. But this is such a weirdly structured film that the entire way through, neither of us knew what on earth was happening. What we got from the experience is reflected in the episode we made and I would love to watch this again at some point, hopefully with more context and a better understanding of what I’m in for. But in the meantime, you can hear the discussion on episode 46 of the podcast.

The Night House (2021) - 6/10

The Night House is David Bruckner’s follow-up to his previous movie, The Ritual and while I’ll say I prefer The Ritual, this is still a decent watch, just don’t go in expecting horror. More of my thoughts can be found in episode 46 of the podcast.

The Ritual (2017) - 7/10

After watching The Night House, I decided to go back to the director’s previous film, The Ritual and I got a lot more out of it this time around. Themes of guilt and grief permeate the movie and the result is this weird and unnerving film about a group of guys who go hiking in Sweden after the death of one of their friends and encounter dark forces beyond their comprehension. It can be drawn out at times and probably could have been boosted with a better script but there are so many interesting and strange ideas presented that culminate in a haunting third act that it’s worth watching just to see what on earth they’re being hunted by.

Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975) - 10/10

Straight after recording an episode about our favourite movies on the podcast, I returned to one of my all-time favourites. Holy Grail is such a fantastically funny movie with so many memorable lines and moments that it’s become a staple in the comedy genre. Setting it in Arthurian England is a surefire way to make sure it stands the test of time, making use of the budget in a way that heightens the comedy, for example: not being able to get horses and so resorting to having a man banging two coconut halves together as they skip through the grassy terrain. It’s the writing that really takes centre stage here; the guys from Monty Python were/are geniuses. A couple more points were made on my podcast so please do listen to that to hear more: Episode 46 of The Sunday Movie Marathon

Malignant (2021) - 7/10

The new James Wan movie was bonkers! I saw this one twice in quick succession without hesitation. To find out why I love it so much, listen to episode 47 of the podcast.

A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) - 8/10

We got a marathon of the first three Nightmare on Elm Street movies on the podcast so we watched them in quick succession within a day. This first movie is a true masterpiece of its time. For more insight, listen to episode 47 of the podcast.

A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 2: Freddy’s Revenge (1985) - 2/10

Quite an embarrassing departure from the genius and fun of the original. Elm Street 2 is not only technically unfulfilling but a wholly unentertaining movie to boot. More thoughts in episode 47 of the podcast.

A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987) - 3/10

While only a few hairs better than its predecessor, Elm Street 3 is still a mere shadow of the original. All in all, these second and third instalments in the franchise have put me off watching any of the others. More thoughts in episode 47 of the podcast.

Her (2013) - 10/10

Her is at once a beautiful love story between a man and an AI, and a scarily accurate look at how technology is expanding and moving forward. It uses warm colours and smooth camera work to create something that feels homely and safe, juxtaposing the often cold and dark feeling of science-fiction films to tell an intrinsically human story. What would it be like to go through this and what are the hurdles that need to be overcome? Her is a masterpiece of filmmaking and it left me emotionally exhausted in all the right ways.

Alien (1979) - 10/10

First time I’ve seen Alien in the cinema (as I was too busy not being born yet to see it on an initial release) and it was amazing! This is cosmic horror at its best. With all the eerie sound design, slow and deliberate camera movement, and outstanding effects, there’s no wonder as to why this is considered one of the greats and seeing it on the big screen was enthralling.

Aliens (1986) - 8/10

I had never seen Aliens before so the opportunity to see it for the first time in a cinema was one I could not pass up, especially since I was able to see it straight after the first. This is more of an action movie than the first one and as that, it was really something to see. While I don’t think it quite measures up to the original, James Cameron does bring a style to it that makes it something completely different while still feeling in line with its predecessor. A problem I’ve found as time goes on is that I don’t find myself thinking much about Aliens whatsoever and that’s probably down to its characters who generally I found quite weak. I’m already not big on standard action flicks and this is a clear cut above those but it does still fall victim to the trappings. That being said, I would in no way call this bad or even mediocre because it was a lot fun and being able to see it in the cinema is an experience I’m very grateful for.

Gunpowder Milkshake (2021) - 6/10

Gunpowder Milkshake is trying very hard to be John Wick and although it never really manages it, there is still fun to be had with its action (because really that’s all this movie has to offer). There’s a very creative scene in which Karen Gillan has to fight some goons in a hospital with a gun taped to one hand and a scalpel taped to the other, with the caveat being that her arms don’t work. Despite that and a good enough performance from Gillan, the rest is very goofy, with a villain about as intriguing as an advert for life insurance and a story that to say the least, leaves much to be desired.

I Lost My Body (2019) - 10/10

Another one for the podcast, I Lost My Body is a glorious cerebral animated piece that hits every nerve in my body. Listen to episode 48 for more.

Alice In Wonderland (1951) - 10/10

Perhaps the best early Disney movie in my humble opinion. Alice In Wonderland is complete insanity, doing things simply for the sake of it in a beguiling dreamlike take on Lewis Carroll’s classic book. Listen to episode 48 of The Sunday Movie Marathon for more.

WALL-E (2008) - 9/10

WALL-E is one of Pixar’s best. It is a cautionary tale of where the world is headed wrapped in a sweet story about going to the ends of the solar system in order to help those you love. I do however have one big problem with this movie and you can find out more in episode 48 of the podcast.

Killing Them Softly (2012) - 6/10

A lot about America’s economy at the time, Killing Them Softly goes about showing the lengths people will go to for money and yes it is generally solid with a fantastic speech by Brad Pitt to cap it off, but it cannot avoid meandering scenes of listless dialogue that neither engage me nor make me care about the characters it presents.

The Dirties (2013) - 6/10

Funny! The Dirties is a mockumentary about two guys making a movie about bullies in their school. While often it was generally chugging along and making me laugh, it tended to err on the side of plain as regards its presentation. A lot of scenes happen for the sake of it and in a movie that’s around an hour and twenty, it’s amazing I still managed to dip out in the latter half. More thoughts in episode 49 of the podcast.

Telstar: The Joe Meek Story (2009) - 3/10

Ah, I really hated this. I don’t even want to talk about it anymore. Just listen to episode 49 of the podcast to hear what I had to say.

Blade Runner 2049 (2017) - 10/10

This is my favourite movie! I got to talk about it on my podcast! Listen to episode 49 of The Sunday Movie Marathon to hear what I have to say!

No Time To Die (2021) - 8/10

Best Bond movie? Perhaps. I’ve not seen every Bond movie but of the ones I have seen (which does include all of Daniel Craig’s run), this is as good as it gets. Despite a near three hour runtime, No Time To Die felt as though it wasted very little. I’ve always complained that I could never follow the plot to these movies because often I simply didn’t care about it; for me it’s more about the action and seeing Daniel Craig be James Bond. No Time To Die does not escape some of the general tropes that often don’t leave me thinking I’ve watched something masterful but what I will say in its favour is that it’s fucking fun! Don’t expect to love it if you already dislike these movies because generally it stays in the same vein as the others before it, but for Bond fans it’s something totally enjoyable. Captivating cinematography, biting fight choreography and action set-pieces, a core struggle for James who actually goes through relatable hardships his time round, coping with being part of a family and trying to keep them safe.

I was happy to see a bit more attention paid to female characters this go round; in a franchise that often glamorizes Bond’s sexual promiscuity and ability to woo any woman he likes, it was much more refreshing to see that he often did need help from a lot of badass, well written female characters.

No Time To Die has been waiting to be released for a long time now and now it’s actually out, I’m pleased it’s not hot garbage. In fact, quite the opposite is true. The final swan song for Craig’s fifteen-year tenure as one of cinema’s most recognisable heroes outdoes all that came before it. Bravo.

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radbutsafe · 4 years ago

Note

ALL FUCKIN 35 OF THEM SKLNWESDJFPXO

I SHOULDVE EXPECTED THIS FROM YOU

1. From one to five stars, how would you rate your writing? (No downplaying yourself!)

A three! I think I’m mid range cause I ain’t terrible but there is still shit I gotta improve and grow in my writing

2. Why do you write fanfiction?

to manifest what canon won’t give me and to write more! (though yes it is mainly about the smooching and the— I’ll stop there LOL)

3. What do you think makes your writing stand out from other works?

Hm! My weird research details? I’m that “fun fact, did you know...” in my fics sometimes LOL! I plan on giving a penthouse for erina in a fic and I went through penthouse listings in Japan for floor layouts and locations💀 my research gives me inspo and depth to stuff I think I lack in comparison to others sometimes.

4. Are there any writers that inspire you?

In terms of fellow fic writers, one of them I can’t name here but she’s an inspiration with her exceptional gift for prose period and her lovely skill at comedy! I want to be as funny as her when I write, I love her ironic situational humor. Other fic writers are @takoyakitenchou, @royaldragonsevgisi15 who I always love sharing ideas with and motivate me to create more! For non-fic writers it would be V.E. Schwab, Leigh Bardugo, Oda, and Horikoshi! The last two may be mangaka, however they are writers as well to create their stories! The depth these creators have given their worlds and interesting characters theyve given life to are all what I aspire to be like!

5. What’s the fic you’re most proud of?

so far uh?? hm everything I’m currently writing are wips lol!! im proud of my wip that has been nicknamed ‘soma panics’ that is a multi-chapter fic that spans like probs 20 plus chapters maybe

6. What element of writing do you find comes easily?

dialogue! it’s so much fun! and character thoughts. I’ve said to people I may be better suited for script writing

7. What element of writing do you struggle with most?

I think it’s description, of like setting and showing action. also an expansion of my vocabulary LOL

8. Which character(s) do you find easiest to write?

erina! I think it’s because canon has shown us many of her different faces and range of emotion.

9. Which character(s) do you find most difficult to write?

SOMA!! chill ass mofo whos more carefree compared to the common shonen protagonist! for other shokugeki characters I’m not sure just yet because I haven’t flexed my fingers enough for the rest of them.

10. What’s your favorite genre to write for?

I guess I should say romance cause that’s what I mostly write LOL!

11. Who or what do you find yourself writing about most?

sorina and I try to get them to smooch eventually KEK and yeah it’s..usually romantic fluff lmao

12. Tell us about a WIP you’re excited about.

HONESTLY ALL OF THEM but “soma panics” is my brain child

13. First fandom you ever wrote for?

pretty sure it’s digimon....

14. What’s your favorite fandom to write for?

currently shokugeki no soma!!!!

15. What’s the weirdest fandom you’ve ever written for?

uhhhh I guess SNS? LMAO fandoms...all have their quirks to them.

16. Any guilty pleasure trope(s)?

characters cuddling!!!! or getting the urge to smooch!!!!

17. A trope you’ll never, ever write for.

unrequited love GOOD FUCKIN BYEEEEEE

18. Wildest fic you’ve ever written?

I have plot ideas thst can be wild potentially but so far nothing fits this criteria so far that I actually have written.

19. Do you prefer canon-compliant, AUs, or something in-between?

depends on the fandom, but if written well, all of it!

20. Gen fic or shippy stuff?

shippy 100% like I said I like smoochin

21. Favorite pairing to write for? (platonic or romantic!)

romantic is...*drumroll* SORINA! platonic, soutaku and erina and alice!

22. Do you listen to anything while you write?

Sometimes! There are times songs will be on loop and times I just shuffle a playlist. and if I’m writing in random bursts it’ll be with no music but it really does depend lmao I think music is when I’m forcing myself to write?

23. Do you prefer prompts and challenges, or completely independent ideas?

completely independent ideas, I’ve realized in the past prompts shoot me in the foot often unless I luckily figure something out. but I’m often driven by my own sporadic self interest with shitty ping ponging attention

24. One-shots or multi-chaptered works?

multi-chap I guess cause I can post without being finished LOLLL but tbh can I really answer? I haven’t finished anything.....

25. Have you ever daydreamed about side adventures/spin-offs from your fic? Tell us about them!

I can’t answer this question imo because I haven’t finished a fic yet so technically stuff could all fit in the one fic?

26. Is there anything you’ve wanted to write, but you’ve been too scared to try?

MYSTERY AND CRIME! I love the genre and I have plot ideas once a blue moon but I can’t dive in because I want to make details that work and reduce plot holes where suspension of disbelief isn’t as needed. I need to study it more (I need to study all the details for any of my fics imo to be confident sometimes LOL)

27. What’s the nicest comment you’ve ever received?

I don’t think I can say one comment was the nicest because I’ve gotten comments that have given me quite the smiles to my face many times! I know this is a cop out but it’s true!

IS WHAT I WAS GONNA SAY UNTIL REINA SENT ME THE FOLLOWING ON DISCORD LIKE TWENTY MINS AGO:

and also rad. i am never this vocal about my emotions like EVER but this needs to be said your fics are obviously far from perfect, as are mine and everyone else's. but the thing about your works is that they're so well-sanded that it's impossible to find any rough edges or faults in them in terms of cohesion to a plot. your cast is never OOC and the amount of effort you devote to developing your takes on the characters as accurately as possible is unimaginably awe-inspiring.

BITCH I WANNA CRY 😭

28. How well do you handle criticism when it comes to your writing?

I’d like to believe I take it often well to try and improve because that’s always my goal. if someone is rude lol that’s not constructive snd is unhelpful. If I disagree with criticism I’ll explain why !

29. Have you ever gone outside of your comfort zone for a fic? How did it turn out?

Not yet, but I have some plot ideas I think will let me test this.

30. Tooth-rotting fluff or merciless angst?

F L U F F.

31. Do you have any OCs? Tell us about them!

elliott fuji, a japanese-american award winning photographer who is erina’s boyfriend in ‘soma panics’ which..causes soma’s panic LOL he’s 30 with slightly wavy black hair. I still haven’t pinpointed his personality just yet...he kind of humble brags for sure an artsy fucker and flirts maybe I’ll make him a lil shy though. he teaches sometimes, and becomes an adjunct photography professor in Tokyo so he can be with erina.

32. Summarize a random fic of yours in 10 words or less.

a cook is unfashionably late in realizing his feelings.

33. Is there anything you wish your audience knew about your writing or writing process?

I am a slow. so slow. motivation who is she? I also write out of order, unfortunately a bit too often.

34. Copy and paste an excerpt you’re particularly fond of.

this should be for the fic ‘soma panics’ it’s either megumi or satoshi talkin to him rn, I’m leaning towards satoshi

“You thought she would always wait for you, didn’t you Soma-kun? To always welcome you home.”

Soma drags his palms down his face and groans. He doesn’t like this at all. He doesn’t shy from confrontation but this is a whole different ballgame. Soma doesn’t play any ball.

“I guess..?” Is his reply, because he thinks he isn’t sure how to answer that.

“You guess?”

Just being questioned again is enough to crack Soma’s pathetic facade as if it was dropped chinaware and he lets out the longest sigh.

“No.”

Coming home means coming home to Nakiri Erina too.

Nakiri Erina is his forever.

this is @takoyakitenchou’s excerpt she’s most proud of that I’ve written, which is also from you guessed it, the long fic soma panics

SOMA: I am, I mean I will be, I swear I will always come home to you, not spend as much time abroad, once I’m done with work I’ll come right back. I’ll make sure to message you. Nakiri, I’m in love you with you. Maybe for a really long time. You know how I say I dedicate my food to you? My dad—my dad said that the key to become a good chef is to find someone to dedicate your cooking to. A special someone. For my dad it was my mom, you know? For me it’s...

(this is a good piece of dialogue tbh so I am also proud of this)

35. Ramble about any fic-related thing you want!

I’ve mentioned it throughout this but the WIP I’ve nicknamed ‘soma panics’ is something I’m super excited to write, but it’s going on slowly...and almost completely out of order. out of all of my writing it showed off that particular habit of mine, along with “what is this, a shoujo manga?!” though the latter is currently being written chronologically now that I’ve posted chapter one and is pretty solid in direction. it was originally supposed to be a one shot but I got impatient and wanted to post at least something for the sorina / soueri fandom.

however, because ‘soma panics’ (I won’t call it that LOL) is my baby I want to keep true to my rule of refusing to post it until I have a draft of the entire fic finished and I’m satisfied with the main points pretty much. due to my writing out of order, I’m worried I’ll change my mind about scenes or want to reflect things in earlier chapters for later ones etc etc

I joined the SnS fandom extremely late, as season five was airing. I was a fan of the manga five years ago and dropped it because I forgot to check for updates when I caught up 😔 I really want to bang out the different fics and aus for sorina that I have before the fandom fizzles out entirely but tbh I’m writing for myself, I’m manifesting what I want to see and I’ll just share it with all my friends to read if no one else will. cause I’m slow broski I dunno what writing fast even is like LMAO I do really want to write faster though, so I can contribute more and let the words free from the discord dms....

#ask meme #ask rad shit #writing #writing by rad #fanfic #reina girl u put me thru it I swear lol #thank u for sending!!#ur amazing!!!!

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comradelup · 4 years ago

Text

intertwined.

In the soft glow of Lup's bedroom, Lucretia finds herself talking more than she usually does. And Lup, she listens. What's the point of loving a woman to the point of prayer if you don't get worshiped in return?

ao3

The room is warm, in every sense of the word. The snow outside seems like it’ll never let up, so the heat’s been cranked. The lights strung around the room are shining in a sunset golden glow like fireflies. Music plays softly from a speaker on the shelf, a never-ending lo-fi radio that completes the atmosphere. It’s girls’ night, and the only two girls on the ship are hanging out.

Or… they’re doing separate things in the same room, that’s more accurate. Lup is seated on her bed, her long hair swept over her shoulder as she braids it, concentrating on her reflection in a mirror on the adjacent wall. Her back is to Lucretia, who is on the floor by the bed with a mirror of her own. She’s carefully applying makeup to her face, and she’s almost done. She tends to not wear it if she has no reason to, but Lup is insistent that there is one. She still doesn’t know what it is.

With a purse of her lips to apply the lipstick, Lucretia leans back to admire her reflection in full. It’s pretty, soft edges and cool colors. She finds herself smiling at her reflection.

Then Lup breaks the silence. “Lemme see.” She’s turned around to smile down at her like a kid at Candlenights.

Lucretia looks away from the mirror to present her face to Lup. Her smile softens and she says, “You look great, Lucy.”

Her heart flips in her chest. How can Lup just say things like that, nicknames and everything, and act as if her smile couldn’t make flowers bloom? Stars pale in comparison. Lucretia, a writer by trade, can’t conjure the words to describe the way she feels. She says, “Thanks.”

“It’s unfair, actually,” Lup says, hands pulling a hair tie around the end of her braid as she keeps studying Lucretia’s face. “You’re smart and pretty.”

Lucretia’s heart jump ropes now. “What?”

Lup chuckles. “You heard me.” With her hair done she slides over on the bed and pats the empty space. “Help me do mine.”

“Are you sure?” Lucretia asks, but she’s already gathering up the assorted products.

“Why wouldn’t I be? You’re good at it,” Lup says. She takes the stuff from Lucretia’s hands and their fingers brush momentarily. For all the flames regularly licking them, Lup’s hands are soft, incredibly so.

“Wait, lemme just… here.” Lup moves around, sweeping away brushes and pallets as she sits on her knees against the headboard. “Okay, I’m good.”

Lucretia lays out the makeup, giving herself time to think. She thinks about what look she’ll do— maybe sharp warm colors to compliment Lucretia, it certainly fits Lup— and she thinks about how she certainly won’t survive touching Lup’s face so much. The other crew members can have her things, let them use her journals for origami. They’ll see her when the next cycle begins.

Her hands move through the motions on autopilot but she hesitates right before touching Lup’s face. They’re close, knees touching. Lucretia’s vision is all Lup, Lup, Lup.

“Go ahead,” she says, voice low due to the proximity. “I don’t mind.”

So Lucretia goes, applying makeup on a face she’s trying very hard to not look at. She has to lean in a bit and tries not to think about it too much when she has to brace herself on Lup’s thighs.

After a few moments of music, Lup asks, “Are you having fun?”

“Of course I am,” Lucretia says immediately, the answer obvious. She cherishes every moment spent with Lup. Even before she developed these sappy feelings that turn her heart to a hummingbird and her legs to jelly. She likes having Lup as a friend.

“Oh. Cool,” Lup says, looking at the wall as Lucretia presses a sponge to her face. “You’re just being quiet.”

“I’m always quiet?”

Lup makes a well duh expression. “I guess I’m just used to being loud when I’m happy. I’m loud most of the time, actually.”

“There’s nothing wrong with that,” Lucretia says, more of a mumble as she focuses on getting this right.

“I know. I’m trying to understand you, is all. Constant silence doesn’t really clue me in on your emotions, you know.”

Lucretia pauses, finally making eye contact with Lup. In a rare moment of vulnerability, she looks nervous. “Sorry, that was rude wasn’t it?”

“No?” Lucretia says, then again, “No.”

“No?”

“No.” Lucretia tilts Lup’s chin slightly up with her pinkie, then goes back to work. Lup looks away again, and Lucretia can breathe. “You’re not wrong. I just never thought about that. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize,” Lup says softly, keeping her mouth from moving too much as the sponge is pressed around her mouth. “You have your ways of expressing emotion and they’re fine, just… different from mine.”

“How so?” Lucretia asks. She puts the sponge down and picks up a brush.

“Well…” She thinks of the words for a moment, eyes idly traveling the room. “I grew up around people who didn’t care much. Not Taako, we love each other, but our guardians. Aunts and uncles and stuff. Half of them didn’t want anything to do with us and the other half got annoyed. I had to get loud and obvious to get what I needed.”

Lucretia focuses on her brushing, feather-light across Lup’s cheekbones. The twins have mentioned their past before, in the rare times they’ve let their walls down. Lucretia always feels bad for them, but she knows they don’t want pity. They’re Taako and Lup, who would feel bad for two of the greatest wizards in existence? If anything, Lucretia is envious of their resilience.

“I see,” she says.

Lup makes a humming sound, the vocal equivalent of a nod. “What about you? How weird are emotions in Lucy’s head?”

Half of Lucretia’s mouth quirks up in a grin. Emotions, huh? Tricky, especially for her. “I’m an artist. The weirdest part is the result of my expression.”

“Really? I’ve only ever read your chronicles.”

“I’m not just a writer, even though that’s my passion. I paint, I draw, I make music sometimes.”

“Bragger,” Lup says, fixing Lucretia with a grin. Lucretia smiles sheepishly and shrinks away. Lup says, “Oh come on I’m only teasing.”

She pulls Lucretia towards her by the fingers, chuckling as she gets Lucretia in her face again. Lucretia lets herself be led— she’d let Lup lead her into battle, she could eradicate the Hunger with Lup looking at her like that— and she resumes her makeup application.

“Seriously though, how am I supposed to tell how you’re feeling? I don’t wanna assume you’re happy when you feel like shit.”

Lucretia shrugs. “I use art to deal with things. I don’t really have trouble with day to day emotions, but big stuff that really messes me up, I use art to get through it.” She nearly wrote a novel when she was accepted into the Institute. She paints night skies when she can’t bring herself to feel anything. She finds herself humming nowadays because she’s so head over heels for Lup.

“I should see more of your art then,” Lup says.

Lucretia nods. She’s hesitant to show people her art, it gets too personal, even if buried under metaphorical uses of colors and phrases. But… it’d be nice if Lup understood her as much as she wants to.

She puts down her brush and picks up a pencil. Eyeliner is… trickier. She has to get closer to get it right. Lup sees her fumbling and says, “It’s fine, I really don’t mind.”

Lucretia looks from the pencil to Lup’s face, uncertain. “Here,” Lup says, taking Lucretia’s wrists in her hands. She gently pulls, guiding her closer and closer, until Lucretia’s hands are placed on Lup’s shoulders.

Her hands move to Lucretia’s waist and the air is sucked out of the room. Lup guides Lucretia until she’s sitting in Lup’s lap, Lucretia’s knees straddling either side of Lup’s own.

“There, we’re all good,” Lup says with a smile. Now that’s just not fair. Lucretia’s been K.O.ed, let someone else into the ring.

Lucretia nods, one hand gently pressing against Lup’s face as the other starts to work the liner onto her lid. She goes slow, not wanting to mess up.

“Can I ask you something now?” she finds herself asking though. The curious part of her commandeered her vocal cords.

“That’s only fair.” Lup’s voice is even quieter. A combination of even closer and not wanting to mess up the pencil right near her eye.

Lucretia hesitates for a moment as if this question could pop the bubble they’ve slowly been blowing during this conversation. “Why did you have us dress up tonight?”

“Hm?”

“You said there was a reason we needed to get dressed.”

There’s silence for a moment, before, “I wanted to spend time with you.”

Lucretia pauses, pencil moving away from eyelid. “What?”

Lup keeps her eyes closed. “We don’t hang out enough. We should be closer.”

Lucretia is shocked for a moment. Lup wants to hang out with her for no reason? Like, sure, they’ve spent time together that both of them enjoyed, but there was always a reason for it. They’re teaming up for a mission, testing out spells together, doing chores. She thought this night was for a reason, maybe Lup wanted her makeup done by someone other than herself. None of the other crew members can do makeup.

But Lup wants to just be with her. Exist in the same space. It’s obvious that Lucretia felt that way, but it’s… it’s good to hear that the feeling is mutual.

“Oh. Cool,” she says, finding herself echoing Lup.

Lup smiles as Lucretia goes back to applying. She says, “It’s cool if you wanna do something else next time. I just thought this could be fun.”

Oh gods, next time. Doing this all over again sounds unreal to Lucretia. Partially because she doesn’t want this night to end.

“I’m up for anything,” she says, and she is.

“That’s good. We’ll coordinate next time,” Lup says, “I know it was weird for me to just walk up to you and ask to hang out.”

“It’s alright.” It’s more than alright.

“I just blurt out random things sometimes. I know you’re a lot different.”

That’s the understatement of the cycle. Lucretia makes sure that every word that leaves her mouth is as thought out as the words she writes. That sometimes leads to lapses of silence during a conversation as Lucretia thinks of what to say next, but the crew is used to it by now. They don’t think twice about waiting for her response.

“There’s nothing wrong with spontaneity.”

“There’s nothing wrong with strategy.”

Lucretia leans back again and Lup opens her eyes this time, smiling at Lucretia. She looks like an angel.

Lucretia kind of wants to kiss her.

…Okay, not kind of.

Lup says, “You should just say what’s on your mind sometimes.”

They don’t break eye contact. “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

Silence weaves between the sentences they say, letting a tense something build before each response. “Don’t think about my feelings. You don’t have to say it to me, just say it.”

“Why would I say something if I’m not talking to a person?”

“Some things just need to be said.”

Lucretia pauses. Her arms have fallen away from Lup’s face, and the pencil sits forgotten on the covers. Lup licks her lips and says, “You don’t have to practice for me, Lucy.”

Lucretia closes her eyes, takes a deep breath, and opens them. “Can I kiss you?”

Lup looks surprised. “Hm?”

“I want to kiss you.”

A beat. “Then do it.”

She doesn’t need to be told twice. Her head leans forward and closes the distance between them, her hands following shortly after. Careful of the makeup, she keeps her hands to the back of Lup’s head. Her braid leaves the base of her skull bare and Lucretia cups it with her hands. She feels bone and hair and skin, such simple things to make up a person who makes Lucretia feel so complicated.

Lup kisses her back immediately, hands finding Lucretia’s thighs. She rubs her thumbs in small rainbow shapes that light her on fire. Lup is an evocationist, after all.

Lucretia hasn’t kissed anyone in a long time and can count on one hand the number of times she has kissed someone. She’s clumsy and inexperienced, but Lup isn’t. Lup, ever genius, ever gentle, ever perfect, takes the lead. Lucretia is happy to follow.

She was wrong, Lup isn’t an angel, she’s more than that. Lup is holy and Lucretia is devout.

The kiss breaks when they need to breathe, but they don’t go far. Lucretia still cradles Lup’s skull and touches their foreheads together. Lup's hands move, wrapping her arms around Lucretia’s waist. She smiles, soft, and opens her eyes to look into Lucretia’s.

“You’re amazing,” Lucretia says.

“Says you.”

“I mean it. You’re… powerful and beautiful and graceful and you… you make my life bright. You’re art incarnate, and you’re the brush it’s painted with.”

Lup looks stunned. She leans up and forward to kiss Lucretia again, though it’s much slower than before. It lingers. When she pulls back they’re not exactly eye level, Lucretia’s a little taller from being in Lup’s lap. She watches Lup think for a moment as she plans what she says.

“If I’m art then you’re poetry. You’re… intricate, you’re carefully constructed, you— fuck, Lucretia, I love reading you. You’re so different from me and I love it.”

Now it’s Lucretia’s turn to be speechless. She’s very rarely addressed with her full name, and it sounds like a prayer on Lup’s tongue. She kisses the corner of Lucretia’s mouth. “You have to appreciate yourself too, babe. You write about other people, for other people, all the godsdamn time. You’re art too. Treat yourself like it.”

Lucretia closes her eyes and sighs heavily through her nose. She doesn’t want to cry, not with a face full of makeup and effort. When she opens her eyes she notices—

“I got my lipstick on you.” Her voice is oh so soft and shaky. It’s almost completely drowned out by the long-forgotten music.

Lup smiles. “I can’t seem to care.”

Lucretia finds herself smiling too. “What about this?” She leans in and kisses Lup’s cheek, leaving a mark.

“Oh no, what ever will I do about that?” Lup says, not sounding at all bothered.

Lucretia giggles and kisses Lup again and again. Lips, forehead, nose, lips, cheeks, chin, lips. Lips, lips, lips. They have to break the make-out session, though, because they both keep giggling. Lucretia, at Lup’s lipstick-stained face, and Lup, at Lucretia’s reaction.

“You have the best laugh, babe.”

“So do you.”

“Yeah, if you like snorting.”

“Of course I do.”

They’re leaning closer, gravitational pull, about to kiss each other again. Their voices are so sappy and flirty. Lucretia loves it.

“Yeah, you would say tha—at.” Lup yawns mid-word. Lucretia giggles again at the sight. Lup has no right to be this adorable.

“Are you tired?” she asks, and Lup shakes her head as if the notion is ridiculous.

“No way, elves don’t sleep.”

“You and Taako sleep all the time.” Lucretia’s hands have migrated to Lup’s neck. She reaches a thumb up to massage under Lup’s earlobe, and she leans into the touch, eyes slipping closed. Seeing Lup so tired reminds her that she’s tired too, and a yawn escapes her too.

“Let’s get this makeup off and we can go to bed,” Lucretia says.

They do, taking the time to wipe it all off, still lazily kissing in between. After that Lucretia stays in Lup’s room, only leaving to grab a cap for her hair.

Is it… weird to share a bed with your girlfriend after just getting together? Are they even girlfriends? Sometimes people make out and it goes nowhere, is that this? She certainly doesn’t want it to be.

But those are questions for the morning. Right now, Lup is snuggling up to her, pulling the covers up to their shoulders. She buries her head in Lucretia’s shoulder, taking a deep breath in. Lucretia holds her close, running fingers through her hair as it’s falling out of its braid.

The lights stay on, the heat stays on, the music stays on. In this perfect atmosphere, with a perfect girl in her arms, Lucretia falls asleep thinking maybe she’s perfect too.

#taz #taz balance #the adventure zone #the adventure zone balance #lupcretia #i will revive the tag with my bare wlw hands #balance #lucretia #lup #txt #writing

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mon-dayragingslut4monstaxday6 · 5 years ago

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Tower (one shot)

Summary: Paige is going to a party with a high status guest list. She meets Changkyun and Jooheon in the elevator...all three of them are lost.

Warning: SMUT. Threesome (Eiffel Tower, hence the title, get it?), spanking, exhibitionism kink, praise.

Word count: ~2k

A/N: I’ve been dreaming of this scenario for too long (even revealed the concept in a anon ask whoops). I am a raging slut for these two boys, I want to bring more fluff in my palette, but I had to get this off my chest. Will finish the second part of my Ultimate fic soon. This is my first one shot, I’m so proud of myself!

It's just a party, this isn't new. Hell, I've been at this hotel before! I hound my phone to see where exactly this party is, my instructions aren't very clear, thanks to my friend who is already there and has the worst luck with spell check while drunk. So, I guess I'm on my own. First ride to the elevator. I'm just gonna stop at each floor till I hear or see the party. It's annoying, but odds are it'll work. Floor two, nothing. I check myself out using the mirrors surrounding the elevator. Damn do I look good. I adjust the girls to not show too much cleavage in my halter top, just a tasteful amount. What about ass? A little bit of ass cheek, but not too bad, I've worn worse. The doors open at floor three, making me cautious of adjusting myself too much. Nothing. I browse my phone to kill time. Floor four, two people walk in. I look up from my phone and I see Changkyun and Jooheon from Monsta X looking at me in the mirror wall.

"All the floors?", Changkyun points out, chuckling over every button pressed. His laugh makes my panties want to drop.

"If you wanted to go down, I'm sorry, I'm trying to find a party, but I'm lost", I explain. Both boys laugh, making me feel better, but also worse. What are they laughing at? The doors close and we ascend to floor five.

"We're trying to get to that party too, but we have no idea where it is either", Jooheon sighs. Oh thank goodness. Wait, they're going to the same party? My dreams have been fulfilled!

"You're going to that party too?", I bashfully ask for confirmation.

"Just wanted to go to say hi, but if you're going to be there, I guess we can stay a bit longer", Changkyun gives me his slick, half smile grin. My grip around my phone tighten to prevent myself from losing it.

"And with twenty-five floors, we'll have plenty of time to get to know you before we find the party", Jooheon joins the flirtatious attack.

"What's your name, babygirl?", Changkyun starts with the questions. Call me babygirl one more time, I dare you. The door opens and we listen in to hear any music from the hallway. Nothing. We go back to casually leaning.

"I'm Paige. No need to tell me your names, I know exactly who you are, Jooheon and Changkyun", I reveal. If they want to play this flirting game, I'll play this flirting game. They're surprised that I know their names.

Level six, nothing. This is going to take a while.

"What's a beautiful girl doing at a party like this?", Jooheon wonders.

"There's nothing wrong with free booze and young celebrities checking you out. It's all fun and games till they learn how simple you are", I shrug. Celebs expect to be with celebs or with people of some significance. I'm a good fuck, but nothing stays for long.

"Simple is good. Those people just don't understand the masterpiece they have in front of them", Changkyun steps it up.

"Oh, I'm a masterpiece?", I act flattered. I look at their reflections and they both examine me fully, scanning me from head to toe. Jooheon bites his juicy lip, flashing me his iconic dimples. Changkyun licks the corner of his mouth, raising his pierced brow. I must be dreaming.

"Oh, please, any girl would drop their panties for those looks. You'll have to try harder if you want to impress me", I call them out on their attempt to seduce. The boys like the challenge. The door opens and we're struck back to reality. Floor seven, nothing. Both of them move to either side of me. I realize how much taller they are compared to me, but I won't let that aspect intimidate me.

The door closes and the boys are in full alert.

"Can I touch you?", Jooheon asks for consent. I raise an eyebrow at him.

"What are you going to do?", I call his bluff. He twists me to face him then uses both hands to get a handful of my ass. He pulls me to him and begins to kiss my exposed shoulder. I am definitely not the first ass he's grabbed, this man knows what he's doing. I already feel his hard on teasing me against my abdomen. I know the internet says he radiates big dick energy, but I confidently confirm it. Changkyun comes from behind me and presses his hard dick against my ass. Fuck, his big dick energy is also more accurate than I thought. One hand cups a tit while the other brushes my hair out of the way so he could kiss my neck, then proceeds to cup the other. Both of them fondling my ass and tits, nearly synchronized. Both pairs of lips against my skin, varying from light pecks to full on marking via sucking or biting. Their muffled moans buzz against my skin. They know how to work me. I didn't expect them to actually commit to those, I should've known better than to be a helpless flirt.

"Fuck me", I couldn't help myself from moaning.

"Don't have to tell us twice, baby girl", Changkyun growls in my ear, tugging on my shorts.

"You two are cool with sharing?", I nearly panic from how fast this is transitioning.

"For you, baby", Jooheon sighs in ecstasy. I doubt I would be the first one to have both of them in a threesome, but what the hell. I told them they needed to work for it and damn they did! Changkyun slides my shorts down to my knees and places a gentle kiss on my ass. Honey grabs my face and tenderly kisses my lips. Changkyun spreads my legs apart enough for my shorts to stay on my knees. He growls deep in his throat and licks a strip along my folds. I moan in Honey's mouth, he pulls me in deeper, our tongues getting acquainted. We hear dings and realize we're still going through the line of floors. Floor nine, nothing. Thank goodness no one is in the hallway to witness this. I wouldn't mind if they do. I hear Changkyun unbuckle his belt, Honey soon follows. A dick is rubbed against my ass, the warmth making my skin tingle. His strong hands knead my ass while he glides his length along my folds to tease me.

"Fuck, Paige, you're already wet for us", Changkyun grunts. Honey pulls away from my lips and looks deep in my eyes.

"That mouth is all mine. Slap my leg if you want us to stop, alright, baby?", Honey discusses protocol.

"You have every right to make us stop without question. The last thing we want to do is hurt you", Changkyun adds. I pull down Honey's boxer briefs to free his already throbbing dick. I let out a little gasp when I see what to expect.

"It's ok to say no", Honey whispers.

"I'll be ok", I assure. I put one arm behind my back for Changkyun to hold onto. I bend over to be eye level with Honey's dick and I take a second to compose myself. I could stop this at any time, it'll be ok. I lick my lips and drag my tongue along his impressive length. Just the sound of Honey's whimpery moan could make me cum. Changkyun lines himself to my entrance and slowly thrusts with ease. Holy shit, I wish I could've seen what he's packing before he buried his dick in me, I bet it's fucking beautiful as it feels. After I manage to fully throat him, Honey takes control and begins to fuck my face, holding either side of my cheeks. He does hit my gag reflex, but I don't believe I will puke, it will make my eyes water though. Changkyun matches the pace with Honey by pure instinct. Given his dancer experience, he body rolls into me, perfectly hitting where I want him. The sound of skin slapping is one of my favorite parts, other than the glorious moans from both parties, well in this case, from all three parties. Changkyun's grip on my arm tightens when the pace goes faster. Honey's hands move to my hair, pulling my head up to look at him. It's a sight I never imagined I'd see in my lifetime. Changkyun spanks my ass out of impulse. Honey and Changkyun look at each other with such confidence. They exchange a look with a little nod. This is it. This is the moment I'm done for. I'm nearly screaming on Honey's dick, this feels so good I never want this to stop! Changkyun notices my legs getting wobbly. He gives me another swift spank.

"You can do it, baby. You're doing so good", Changkyun encourages. Both men are getting feisty, they're at their limit. I let out a long moan while I cum on Changkyun. The orgasm was so sudden, or maybe I was just distracted by the feeling of both of them at the same time. Changkyun knows I came, chuckles at the feeling of me clenching around him.

"I'm going to cum, baby. Do you want Honey to cum in your mouth or cum in your pussy after me?", Changkyun pants. I use my free hand to gesture to my pussy.

"As you wish, princess", Changkyun grunts before slamming into me. He hits his peak of throttle till he cums. I wish I could record the sound he makes while he cums. It's a moan with a whimper, but it's slightly raspy with his deep voice, and there is a little giggle in it too. He rides out his high before he pulls out of me. Honey pulls out, spins me around and fucks me silly, holding me by my waist. His dick feels even more beautiful in my pussy than my mouth. Changkyun leans against a wall to catch his breath, but this way, I can finally get to see Changkyun's dick and holy fuck that was inside me?! I'm impressed with how I handled it. Honey slams into me, making a symphony of sounds. Skin slapping, my pussy quenching, variety of grunts and moans. Now that my mouth is free, I could finally be vocal.

"Fuck!", I moan in delight as I cum on Honey. My clenching makes Honey cum unannounced. His sound is more of a panting growl, far more primal. He thrusts a couple of more times to ride out our highs. He pulls out, but still holds me in case I fall over. They know my legs got weak, the shaking is visible. Honey places a kiss on my ass before pulling my shorts up. Both men stuff their dicks back into their pants. They give me a group hug to keep me standing and to give me more kisses.

"You did so good, Paige", Honey whispers in my ear.

"We need to do this again. Soon", Changkyun hisses.

"Definitely soon", Honey agrees.

"Really? I'm not going to be a one night girl?", I get all bashful, even though they just fucked me enough for two orgasms.

"You're too good to be just for one night", Changkyun breaths against my neck.

"Next time, we'll do this right and take you out", Honey adds. I hide my blushing face by burying it in Changkyun's chest. We hear a ding from the elevator. We made it to the floor twenty-five. There's music coming from the end of the hallway, the obvious penthouse suites.

"You guys still want to go?", I shrug. At this point, I just want to be with them.

"Fuck the party, let's go to our room and have our own party with pizza", Changkyun scoffs.

"And some more fun. What do you say, princess?", Honey offers. Is there any fucking question?

"Lead the way", I accept. Changkyun taps the floor four button.

"Well, twenty-one floors till we get back. Any ideas to pass the time?", Honey teases me by grabbing a handful of my ass.

#monsta x smut #jooheon smut #changkyun smut

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authenticcadence18 · 4 years ago

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30 Questions About Me

THANKS FOR THE TAG @bugaboo-n-bananoir ILY!!!!

(Nick)name: Cadence

gender: cis female

Star sign: Pisces

Height: uhhhhh I am not sure, it’s taller than 5ft at least

Time: night! (Well I wrote most of this last night, but now it’s the evening of the next day!)

Birthday: well I’m a Pisces, so my birthday is between Feb 19th and march 20th!

Fave band/group: Pentatonix! Or For King and Country. Or the piano guys, the vitamin string quartet, Voctave.....also Phineas and the Ferbtones👌

Fave solo artists: I really like Lauren Daigle, and Jackie Evancho used to be my FAVE. Aaand idk if this counts but Michael Giacchino! love his scores, especially the score for Inside Out. There’s also this guy called Clay Kramer on YouTube who makes KK Slider covers of popular music, his stuff gives me so much seratonin😅

Song Stuck in my Head: Well I’m listening to music rn and “I’m Me” from Phineas and Ferb is on so I’ll say that! (I’ll revisit this one when I finish the list and update it with whatever song i’m listening to/is stuck in my head then) (ok the music has since been turned off and now I have “Status Quo” from High School Musical stuck in my head so! There ya go!) (now it is the next day, and I’ve got “when the party’s over” stuck in my head...i think these three songs are an accurate reflection of my taste in music🤣)

Last Movie: uhhhhh oh yeah, The Sorcerer’s Apprentice! It was SO GREAT because Jay Baruchel plays the main character (and the main character is super awkward), so I felt like I was watching Hiccup from the How To Train Your Dragon franchise learn magic and it was GLORIOUS. And also Nicholas Cage is great. And I liked the love interest in the movie as well!! She had a role to play in the story and felt authentic and genuine, which I appreciated!

Last Show: ok well the last show I watched by myself was Phineas and Ferb! Specifically, the episode with the Mardi Gras block party and then the one where Candace and Stacy compete in an obstacle course against Isabella and Ginger (omg wAIT ginger and Stacy are sisters and Isabella and Candace are GOING to be sisters mY HEART I—AH🥺). I hadn’t watched those episodes in forever, so they were really fun to revisit! I think the last actual show I watched was Kids Baking Championship or something, lol. (Those kids are AMAZING. So skilled!)

When i created this blog: November 2019! It was riiiight after the season 3 finale of miraculous aired and absolutely wrecked my emotions. I had some fanfic written that I’d never posted and had been thinking about making a tumblr/ao3 for awhile, and seeing the finale made me finally go, “.....you know what, yeah. The finale is aired, no more spoilers.....it’s time to make a blog.” So I did! And I posted my first fic! And I’m so happy i did :)

What Do I Post: a bunch of multi fandom stuff XD. This blog started off as 90% Miraculous, 10% other fandoms I like...but now it’s just kind of a hodgepoge of my favorite fandoms (with a focus on Phineas and Ferb, lol). I reblog a lot of posts, and then I post original stuff too! I write fanfic, nowadays for Phineas and Ferb but for Miraculous in the past (and probably in the future!), I draw art (mostly Phinabella art because I’ve been drawing them since i was 11 and it feels good to return to my roots), and OCCASIONALLY I will write an analysis post (I’ve got one in the works rn actually 👀), attempt to make a meme, or dip my toe into salt just SLIGHTLY before quickly backing away, lol. If I were to list the fandoms I post about in the order of how frequently I post about them, I’d probably say: Phineas and Ferb, Miraculous....and thennnnn everything else is pretty random and depends on the day, lol.

Last thing i googled: Jay Baruchel 😂. Couldn’t remember how to spell his last name!

Other blogs: this is my only blog! Sometimes I think about making a separate blog for my art and writing, but I am not sure if I should or not....maybe I will someday, but idk. I also have an AO3 for fanfic and an Instagram for art! All are under the name “authenticcadence18.”

Do I get asks: sometimes, yeah!! Sometimes I reblog ask games/prompts and get some asks for those (I’ve got so many prompts in my inbox I want to write/draw things for...ah it’s fine, I’ll get to it eventually😅), and sometimes lovely people will leave thoughts or nice messages in my inbox🥺💕. I’ve got a specific tag for all those nice messages so I can read back over them whenever I need a boost!

Why this url: it’s a music pun! When a song/section of a piece of music ends with a dominant chord resolving to a tonic chord (if you’ve read a certain fic of mine you should know allll about dominant and tonic chords👀🤣), it’s called an authentic cadence! There are different kinds of cadences, and authentic ones are my favorite. One example of this is “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.” I also use this blog to be my authentic, fandom-loving self! So I like authentic cadences, and also, I’m Cadence and using this blog to be authentic! Woo! (And 18 is just my favorite number, lol) I’m glad I ended up choosing a name that doesn’t tie to a specific fandom becaaaaaause this ended up being a multi fandom blog!

Following: 232!!

Followers: 292!!! (THANKS SO MUCH Y’ALL ILY 💕)

Average amount of sleep: wellllll for the past week and a half I was sick so I was probably getting 9ish hours a night (because I would sleep in really late, lol). but NOW? In my immediate future? I suspect my average amount of sleep is going to go down because I’m really bad about staying up late even when I have to get up early😅. Hoping to be good about getting at least 7ish hours a night!

Lucky number: 18! But y’all probably already guessed that, lol.

Instruments: my voice, piano, ukulele, viola (but it’s been a HOT minute), aaaand i used to be able to play guitar but then I got a ukulele and forgot all the guitar chords. (I also dabble in songwriting! I primarily use voice and piano when writing music.)

What I’m wearing: my favorite sweatshirt (that was last night, rn I have on a tanktop), some leggings, and socks!

Dream job: I’m currently learning to be a teacher, and I LOVE teaching and working with kids so that is definitely a job I’m really excited about!!! I would also love to portray characters at Disney or something (well, maybe not at Disney because I hear they’re strict, but like....I want to be Rapunzel or Anna or something, that would be so fun). OR, I would LOVE to work in tv animation somehow, be it voice acting, writing scripts/music, and/or story boarding. basically if I could do what Dan and Swampy did for Phineas and Ferb/Milo Murphy’s Law, I would LOVE THAT. (Especially the writing music part. Getting to write music for established characters and get PAID for it would be SO COOL.!.!.!) Also I think it would be so fun to write Disney storybooks! Like, those books that are about Cinderella baking a cake or Ariel befriending a seahorse, stuff like that. Those brought me a ton of joy as a child!

Dream trip: I want to visit alllll the Disney parks someday😅. (Not right now because, ya know, Covid...but someday!)

Fave food: uhhh i really like pizza. And popcorn. Also hummus and guacamole!

nationality: American

Fave songs: “Times” by Tenth Avenue North; “Can’t Help Falling in Love” (I made an entire playlist of just this song when I first started writing my fic of the same name, so I like the original and a ton of covers of it!), “Show Yourself” from Frozen II, “What Might Have Been” from Phineas and Ferb (and lots of other songs from that show, i made a whole post about that once but I can’t find it, oof); “Rescue” by Lauren Daigle; “Thank You” by Pentatonix; “I See the Light” from Tangled; “Your Hands” by JJ Heller; “Perfect” by Ed Sheeran.....i like a loooot of songs so this is just the tip of the iceberg, but I think that’s good for now, LOL! (As soon as I post this I’m going to remember another song I love, lol)

last book: I got the book Unbirthday for Christmas! It’s basically Disney’s Alice in Wonderland, but if she’d never gone to wonderland and things went horribly wrong there. (I think, I’m not that far into it yet, lol)

Top 3 fictional universes I’d love to live in: 1. DANVILLE, PLS. Especially as a kid, I SO would’ve loved to hang out with Isabella and Phineas and the rest of the gang! Danville is so vibrant and unique and people are always randomly breaking into song there, that’s my kind of place! 2. Fairytopia (from the Barbie movies!) because I could be a fairy OR a mermaid OR BOTH and eat seeweed to breathe underwater even if I wasn’t a mermaid. Like, that’s the dream right there. (I’ve always loved mermaids and fairies, lol!) 3. Maybe San Fransokyo from Big Hero 6? All of the technology in that universe is really cool! And I would love to eat a noodle burger, lol .

Oh! That’s the last one! Wow! This was so FUN!!!!!!! Thanks again for the tag, Maddy!!!! :)

I’ll taaaag @sketchy-panda @macaronsforchat @simplynewyorkbound @inkjackets and anyone else who’d like to do this! (And pls don’t feel pressured to play at all, or answer all of the questions! I was definitely vague with a few of my answers, lol)

#long post #cadence rambles #tag game #this was so funnnnn!#i also got your other tag maddy🥺#going to get to that post soon!

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vanchlo · 5 years ago

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The Assistant / Chapter Forty-One, “Finally”

*Gifs are not mine*

Clickable Links:

- *NEW* Becky Magazine Cover from an O.C. Tag Challenge c:

- Masterlist feat. all chapters and Character Surveys

- Inspo tag

- Hecky Playlist

- Read on Wattpad

Warnings: None

Word Count: 10.3k words

Song: You’re Still The One by Shania Twain, bc duh Just Like Heaven by The Cure (click to listen)

A/N: I am SO excited for you to read this chapter, you’ll soon find out why ;)

SNEAKYYYYYY PEEEEEK

For the fiftieth time in the last two days, I couldn’t be more grateful for how easy things are coming together. I couldn’t be more thankful to have him by my side. It still feels like a dream getting to live this life now, and getting to work with him on the daily, singing Spice Girls amidst stolen cheek kisses.

One puzzle piece at a time, and there’s only one or two pieces left in this puzzle of ours.

"And then my soul saw you and it kind of went ‘Oh, there you are. I’ve been looking for you.’"

- Iain Thomas, ‘I Wrote This For You’

There was truly nothing that could rock the waves I was currently riding, and I couldn’t wait a second longer to do the very thing that would make them even bigger. They had only climbed since telling Asher earlier this evening, and the smile that shared on our faces.

Skye was sprawled out on the sofa when I opened the door, finding it impossible to hide the grin on my face as I read a text from Harry that had dinged a moment before.

i havent been this excited for somethin in a long time bug. absolutely cant wait to see u on friday, idk if i can wait that long ;) good luck on ur case with Myles 2moro, you’ll do great Becks xo

“Well, look who has a pep in her step, all of a sudden. I don’t think I’ve seen you smile in days, since Harry’s left. What’s the occasion, Ree?” she teases, surprising me with the simple act of muting an episode of The Great British Bake Off that our nights consist of as of late.

“I may have had a good day,” I suggest with a shrug of my shoulders as I put my coat away in the closet.

“Since bloody when? You were in a shitty mood the last time we spoke, having ‘Harry withdrawals,’ or something. I’d say the only reason you could be happy right now is if you’d seen him, which would be impossible seeing he’s in Glasgow for another few days,” she mutters. I observe the look on her face change and how her eyebrows dance along her forehead after I turn around to face her, letting the smile lose. “Wait, he’s still there, isn’t he?” she questions, reaching a hand out as if looking for an answer with her body, too.

My head shakes from side to side slowly as my lips part to show my teeth, a rarity among my smiles, and the expression dawning on her face tells me she recognizes it too. “He came back today, his case finished early, Skye. And I asked him out on a date!”

“You didn’t?! Ree, you better not be kidding with me, or I’m gonna be really pissed at you!” she chuckles, feigning intimidation in her voice. Hints of the emotions buzzing around inside of me play across her face, meanwhile, my happiness keeps growing notch after notch.

I don’t know if I can wait that long either, Harry, cause I can’t remember the last time I was this excited. Thank you so much xxx

“I’m not kidding, Skye, and he said yes! He didn’t even let me finish asking and he said yes!” I exclaim after sending the text I had been typing, feeling her arms come around me in a shock when I look back up.

“I’m so fucking happy for you, Ree, it’s about bloody time!” she remarks excitedly, almost crushing me in a hug.

“Me too, I can’t remember the last time I was this happy,” I admit softly, relaxing in her arms, even though part of me wishes they were the arms of somebody else. Only an hour later, and I already miss him. Wow, I’ve got this bad.

“Did you kiss him at least?!”

“No, I’m waiting for the date, I guess. I looked like proper crap today, I’ve been up so late the last few nights prepping for the case with Myles,” I laugh, pulling away from her smell of peaches and chocolate when my pocket dings.

“First kisses aren’t something you plan, Ree, they just happen out of nowhere. The sooner, the better.”

“I guess you’re right,” I confess with a smile stuck to my lips. “We’ll just see what happens.”

Happiness and its synonyms still fill me to the brim an hour later, and whilst my thumbs flit across the screen of my phone. Her words stare back at me, and unbeknownst to me how, I wish I could see her again already. My footsteps wander down the main hallway, and before I know what I’m doing, I arrive at her door. Low and behold, it’s closed and my heart sinks into my chest when I find darkness waiting behind it.

miss u already bug xoxo

My words are whisked off to her, and soon my legs are entering the doorway of a certain somebody’s office, although not the one I was hoping for.

“It’s about time you made your rounds and came to say hi to me. Should I feel offended I’m the last one on your list?” Myles teases from behind his desk with a grin lining his lips.

“Oh, shuddup. Did Becks leave already fer tha night?” I question, letting my shoulder fall to the door frame as I watch the small ‘delivered’ appear under my blue text.

“Yeah, I ran into her about twenty minutes ago in the break room when she was clocking out. What, didn’t you already see her?”

“Ya, she was me first visitor. I was jus’ hopin’ t’ see her ‘gain,” I shrug, well aware of the terrible job I’m doing of hiding the one hundred watt smile I’m wearing.

“And does that have anything to do with you blinding me with that smile of yours?” he inquires, raising a sandy blonde eyebrow at me.

“Maybe it has sumthin’ t’ do with me havin’ a date with her on Friday, as of an hour ago,” I reveal casually with a shrug of my shoulders, feeling the smile grow larger somehow.

“Fucking finally,” Myles chimes with happiness spreading across his face, and I nod quickly.

“I know, ‘s all finally comin’ t’getha fer us.”

It would be accurate to say that I was still in utter disbelief after yesterday, and rehashing it all to Skye the second I got home only made it all seem more real, and even better. Then again, that was an understatement, because I had been waiting for this for years. I had been waiting to feel this way for too long, and to be able to say and think that I have a date with Harry tomorrow. An actual, proper date. Several times, I cursed myself for not making the date on Thursday night, tonight, because although I had waited painstakingly for five days, another two felt like twenty years.

It was even bittersweet coming to work the next day and not seeing him there, confusing the habits and expectations I had come to know. I still had to finish up the case with Myles that he would finish arguing, with my help, for the next two days. I tried to think of it that way, that the date would be even better after finishing that case, and in a way, signifying my return to Harry. God, it was all too perfect, but it would be even more so if I didn’t have to wait another bloody day, well actually two, to see him. Yesterday wasn’t long enough, but when I think about it, no length of time ever is with him and that’s how I know I’m in trouble.

Also, that I’m walking right into one of my dreams.

After a morning spent in court starting off the case, I was back at the firm with Myles after lunch to work on it some more. He had given me more time to myself to work on my own than Harry had, but I preferred it that way. Harry was right, Myles was good to me, and I did learn a lot from him, but it wasn’t the same as being with Harry. Nothing has ever and never will be the same as being with him, certainly not. Also, the whole Family and Interpersonal side of court was depressing as fuck, I found out. The topic littered Harry and I’s conversations the last almost week, resulting in me taking after him and deciding to stay far away from it for now.

I’m reminded of him everywhere I go, and it definitely makes trying to get my work done all the more difficult. I see his face in the succulent sat at the corner of my desk, behind my office chair where he would lean over me to help me on my laptop, on my sofa where he opened his birthday presents with explosive happiness, and in the reflection on the tall window where I now stand in the same spot as on his birthday when he hugged me against his front with a kiss to my head. A day later, and it all still feels so surreal to me, and I’m not mad about it. I appreciate its distracting qualities, leaving me to not worry as much about what the hell I’m going to wear tomorrow, and messing things up. Skye’s already picked out five outfits for me by now, I’m sure, but I was at a loss last night when I perused my closet. The pressure to impress somebody I’ve already met a hundred times, feels even greater than my second interview I had at the firm, and I tell myself I don’t know why, even though I do.

I want to wear the right thing, and feel beautiful. More than that, I don’t want to mess things up between us, again, no matter how stupid that sounds. No matter how premature it is to worry about right now.

With the happiest of sighs, I wander over to my bookshelf that now sits a dozen law books, gifts from Harry, Skye, Robbie, my dad, and Asher. Perhaps my favorite, to no surprise, is the Lawyer’s Dictionary that Harry got me. It has a section for all of the law jargon, another on many important laws, and lastly finishes with a guide for working the courtroom. I was just getting on my tippy toes to grab it when I feel a pair of arms surround my chest and pull me against theirs.

“Hiya, brat,” a voice teases, tickling my neck.

“Harry!” I exclaim with surprise, grabbing hold of his forearms. “Why do you love to scare me so much?”

“I dunno, ‘s fun, and coz yer a brat, so ya deserve it,” he giggles, and finally I relent and do too as I turn around to face him.

“I am not a brat!” I argue, finding his flushed stubbly cheeks, taking a second to get used to the thick stubble covering them now.

“Ya are, I reckon, couldn’t even wake me up last night t’ finish tha rest o’ tha FRIENDS episode on FaceTime, jus’ kept watchin’ along without me. If that doesn’t make ya a brat, then I dunno what does,” he tuts, clucking his tongue as he shakes his head at me. My giggles grow into a hearty chuckle as his folded hands settle at the small of my back.

“Harry Edward!” I scoff, swatting at his chest once again hidden by his Northface coat, matching his black skinny jeans.

“Hey, ya betta watch that hand o’ yers, bug, and that mouth too.”

“I’m not a brat,” I whine, all facial features falling into a pout that immediately grabs his attention.

“Rebecca Ann, don’t even start with me. Put that bloody pout away befo’ ya regret it,” he insists, pointing his eyes at me with the smallest of smirks peeking through on his lips. It wins him over and soon his dimples accompany his deep laugh. “Stop, yer not a brat, bug, ‘m jus’ teasin’ ya. Y’know that. Jus’ can’t believe it didn’t even take a week fer ya t’ skip ahead o’ me in our show.”

“The episode was already three quarters of the way over!” I protest, earning a good finger wag at me. I fight back and push against his chest. “And I didn’t want to wake you up, you were so tired.”

“No, it was not! It was only half way through and ya couldn’t even wake me up! How rude o’ my Becks t’ be makin’ up excuses.”

“Stop being mean to me,” I pout again, beginning to turn away with my arms crossed over my chest.

“Hey, ‘m jus’ givin' ya a hard time, bug, y’know that. Yer neva a brat, and even if ya are, yer my brat,” Harry hums warmly, the honey returning to his voice in full force as he catches me around the middle with his arms once again. I can’t remember the last time I heard his voice absent of the honey, though. I don’t ever want to. “I wouldn’t want ya any otha way.”

“I knew you were only joking.”

“You li’l liar!” he laughs against my temple and mine joins his ever so contagious one. “Y’know, ‘ve always loved how ya neva take me shit and how ya can dish it right back, Becks.”

“Of course, I figured out at the very beginning that I wouldn’t get by without it.”

“That’s me girl,” he coos, bringing me forth and round to find his gentle green eyes once more. They smile at me with a sparkle to them I haven’t had the pleasure to know before. I’ve yet to see him look at anybody this way, and I wonder if I have my own special look in my eyes for him, too. If I do, it was born long ago.

“What are you doing here? I thought you had said you were going to take it easy until Monday, since your case got done early,” I wonder aloud, unsure of what to do with my hands until they venture to his coat’s zipper on their own, pulling it up and down distractedly.

“I was, until My’ roped me into a partner meetin’ t’day, and I wanted t’ see a special sumbody,” he sighs with an accented roll of his eyes at first, and then they dish out their dazzle on me. “But that’s it, and ‘m off afta that. I hafta do a li’l work fer my case afta finishin’ it, but it’ll only take ten minutes tops. Then laundry, cleanin’, and tha like at home before grocery shoppin’. Only jus’ now got outta bed, tha bloody jetlag.”

“Ah, I see. The work of a lawyer never ends, it seems,” I comment and he nods above me, eyes watching my every move closely. “God, if I knew you’d be here today I would have tried a little harder when I got dressed this morning,” I laugh nervously, my eyes falling to his crimson button-up peeking out from his coat, decorated with gray flowers and foliage.

“Ya don’t even hafta try and ya look gorgeous, Becks. Promise,” Harry disagrees, the molasses pouring out from his words and into my heart, pushing the very last chip away. Just like that, I’m all his again, but I think it happened long before this and I didn’t know. Daring a look up at him, the dimples couldn’t be deeper in his cheeks as his sunshine smile radiates onto me, the pad of his thumb rough against my cheek. “I sure missed seein’ that smile, ‘s me favourite.”

My anxiousness carries away with the sunshine, and I’m left with red cheeks and a smile that makes them hurt. It almost pains me to look into his bright sunny eyes, but I wouldn’t want to be looking anywhere else. Finally, I let myself look and with that, I let him in a little further and start to let go.

“You’re really laying it on thick,” I jest harmlessly with a smile, dragging my finger down the seam of his chest where the two sides of the fabric meet in red cloth buttons.

“Ya, coz I finally can,” he grins, and the warmth spreading across my body in tingly waves finds an outlet in a soft laugh of mine.

Anxious yes, but ever so happy while his hand spreads out flush against my back, fingertips moving lazily. I’ve already pinched myself once or twice today wondering if this is all a dream, and shocked that I could ever be this happy. There were so many times I doubted the existence of it and its possibility, and everything it had to do with having this with Harry. Predictably, an electronic twinkle interrupts our conversation, and I’m confused to find him lifting his wrist.

“Woah, look at the fancy lawyer,” I tease, his already colossal smile growing taller as he flicks a finger across his shiny new Apple watch. “That must have cost a pretty penny.”

“Ya, and My’ dished out e’ry last cent,” he titters, pressing his palm to the shiny surface rounded by space grey edges, returning his eyes and hands to me. “It was his birthday present t’ me, sayin’ that I should be mo’ organized at me age, or sumthin’.”

“Talk about brutal honesty right there.”

“Don’t go bloody agreein’ with him now!” Harry scoffs, but his mouth open in disgust is no more, lined by joyous lips that soon attack my cheeks in kisses.

“No, no, no!” I beg aloud in shrieks when his quick fingers dance along my ribs, sending jolts of electricity across my body. More exclamations and pleas escape them before I say the magic words, “Harry Edward!”

“What d’ya want, hmm, Rebecca Ann?” he asks breathlessly, that adorable breathy laugh falling off of his glossy cherry lips.

“I think you like saying my full name too much,” I contend, giving up and falling into the sage green abyss of his eyes for the hundredth time, or more.

“Maybe I do. Maybe I like it,” he shrugs mischievously, that smirk glued to his lips that pull me in.

“Do you like it, the watch?”

“Ya, ‘s nice. I thought ‘d told ya ‘bout it, sorry. Reckon it has helped me t’ stay organized. Speakin’ of, me meetin’ ‘s inna few, so I hafta take off, bug,” he croons with disapproving lips, his bottom lip soon jutting out from the top.

“Harry Styles, don’t you even!” I threaten rather weakly, the sounds of happiness leaving my lips doing a good job of that.

“Oh, and what if I don’t? Hmmm, Rebecca Holte, jus’ what will ya do ‘bout it?” Harry returns, wiggling an eyebrow at me that makes my chest rumble with harder laughter.

“I’ll just have to stop you, but I don’t know how just yet.”

A devilish smirk is born on his lips before my eyes, and soon leaves my view while his face escapes to the crook of my neck, his voice soon tickling my skin, “Lawyers gotta be quick on their feet, bug. Reckon I can think o’ a way ya can make these lips stop poutin’, maybe ya can try it on me t’morro’ afta our date,” he hums against my neck, knitting up his sentence with a whisper of a kiss below my ear.

I feel like a fricken sixteen-year-old all over again, and I’m loving every second.

“You better get going to your meeting, before you’re late, Harry,” I giggle uncontrollably, sure that my face is blotchy with red all over because of what he just said. My suspicion is confirmed when he lifts his head of moused curls to look me in the eyes again, and the glint in them tells me so. I feel like I can read him even better now, all because he’s letting me.

“‘s alright, they expect me t’ be late by now, ‘s a given,” he insists with a comedic shrug of his shoulders, hands wandering away from my back and to our sides where they invite my hands into his.

“Will you stop and say goodbye this time?”

“‘Course, bug. ‘m sorry I missed ya yestaday, ya had already left afta I had made me rounds,” he assures me, receiving a quiet ‘it’s okay’ from me.

“Try not to fall asleep at your meeting today,” I joke, watching his eyes roll into the back of his head briefly before he scoops me into his arms for a squeeze.

“I won’t if ya promise not t’ be a brat anymo’ and skip ahead in our show.”

“Get lost and go to your meeting already!” I laugh, shoving him away by his chest, observant of his mouth relaxing into a disbelieving ‘O’. His laugh echoes mine quickly, only disrupted when my hand comes to his cheek to plant my lips on his other for a few seconds longer than necessary. “I’m so glad you’re back, Harry.”

“So am I, Becks, so bloody much,” he echoes, holding my hands a little tighter in his, even bringing one to his lips for a kiss. “Good luck on yer case, love, for tha thousandth time. ‘m so proud o’ you.”

With that, he leaves me in a puddle of my own surreal emotions, disappearing from my office with a look over his shoulder wearing that smirk. That very smirk I want so desperately to kiss off those cherry lips already. Tomorrow, I think, if I can make it until then. Just one more day.

I had been struggling with finishing this last part, or rather redoing it, for too long now. When my eyes again strayig to the violet clock, I was surprised to find that it had been almost an hour, and I hadn’t gotten much further. With my head in my hands, I sigh as feelings battle to be felt within my insides. After today’s argument, Myles and I had to shift our approach, and I still wasn’t sure of how to do that. He had been helping me, of course, but I still felt so lost. It doesn’t help that he’s currently caught up in the partner’s meeting that Harry is also at, and Jennings who is but isn’t a partner. I still don’t get it, even though Harry explained it to me a few times. The next time he does, I’ll have to remember to ask him to dumb it down for me.

Even after pouring over our shared notes in Google Docs, and my several law books strewn across my desk, I’m at a loss for what to do.

I wish more than anything that it was already five pm tomorrow, and that the only thing I have to think about is my date with Harry. I still don’t know what the hell to wear, or to do with my hair, or how heavy to go with my makeup.

“Why tha long face, bug?” somebody pipes up, pulling me away from my immersive thoughts. Blinking hard, I tear my eyes away from the laptop screen and look over to the door, but I don’t lift my tired head from my propped fist.

“I don’t know what to do for my argument.”

“Still? Why didn’t ya jus’ ask, Becks?” Harry hums with an inviting smile, pressing the door to come just shy of closing.

I shrug my shoulders with a heavy exhale, scrolling through what I have so far, quickly realizing how embarrassing it’ll be to show him. I can’t exit out quickly enough, hearing his footsteps arrive behind me.

“Hey, what d’ya think yer doin’?” he teases when I switch tabs, quickly feeling the weight of his hand on top of mine, dragging the mouse along. “Don’t be nervous, love, ‘m here t’ help. Always am,” he coos softly, a hand settling on my adjacent shoulder, earning me an encouraging squeeze.

“It’s embarrassing, Harry. I’ve been sitting here for over an hour trying to figure out what to do, and I have next to nothing to show for it.”

“Relax, ‘s only yer first official case yer arguin’. Don’t be so hard on yerself, Becks. It sounds like ya need a break, bug,” he insists, sending sparks along my left arm as he rubs stripes along the skin. It’s not long before I hear a familiar laugh and slowly, Harry’s dancing figure comes into view. “Yo ‘ll tell ya what I want, what I really, really want. So tell me what ya want, what ya really, really want,” he belts out, his phone blasting the song cupped in his hand.

“Oh my God,” I sigh with an accidental laugh, my head falling into my hands. I’m too curious though, and so I peek out from behind my spread fingers to watch him sing passionately with his eyes closed while breaking out some amusing dance moves. “Please, stop,” I chuckle, but I’m sure he also hears the lie in my voice.

“‘m not stoppin’.”

“Please, Harry. You’re going to make me die from secondhand embarrassment,” I confess into my hands, feeling brave and letting my fingers fall down to below my eyes. Mistakenly, his catch mine and they fly back up to cover my eyes, or for the most part.

“Rebecca Ann, ‘m not stoppin’ ‘til ya come and join me.”

“Then you’re going to be there for a while,” I say with a shrug of my shoulders, certain of one thing and that’s the smile claiming my lips, and the forgotten document staring at me. I’m too preoccupied with the silly, dancing man in front of my eyes, and how somehow this makes me love him all the more.

“Becks,” he insists, in between singing along to the song very badly. Oh no, I think as his steps near me once again. Before I know it, I’m staring into darkness as his breath tickles the back of my neck.

“Stop,” I beg with laughs interjected among my pleas. They grow into near shouts and exclamations when his singing is accompanied by his fingers dancing across my sides, and along the slopes of my neck. “Harry!” I almost yell, and when my laughs couldn’t hurt my belly more, it all ceases. Only the singing remains and is joined by his stubbly cheek against my temple, and his arms coiled around my shoulders. “If ya wanna be my lova, ya gotta get with my friends.”

“Make it last forever, friendship never ends,” I continue for him, giggles heard at the end when his nose tickles the corner of my sensitive neck.

“There’s me happy Becks, ‘m glad I found her ‘gain,” Harry coos, leaving a kiss on my temple before he helps me to tackle my argument.

Five days did and didn’t feel very long when I think about it now, with his arms wrapped around me as his voice tickles my ear. Too easily, I can remember his absence over those long days, and how effortlessly they felt far longer. I barely survived with his texts and phone calls alone, and it hurts to think that if it hadn’t been for his case finishing early, I’d still be sitting here in my office all in my lonesome.

Those thoughts are yanked away - thank God - when his voice brings me back, spewing legal mumbo jumbo that luckily nowadays I can understand, but I couldn’t have always said that. Harry makes quick work of what would be my best route to take and how I do that, and for the fiftieth time in the last two days, I couldn’t be more grateful for how easy things are coming together. I couldn’t be more thankful to have him by my side. It still feels like a dream getting to live this life now, and getting to work with him on the daily, singing Spice Girls amidst stolen cheek kisses.

One puzzle piece at a time, and there’s only one or two pieces left in this puzzle of ours.

The murmur of voices assaults my ears when I walk through the door, and feel my vision tugged towards the ceiling decorated with chandeliers. A song by Frank Sinatra floats around the entryway, hardly calming my overactive nerves, despite it being a favorite of my late grandpa’s. When I finally reach the host’s stand, the nerves topple out with my words, jumbling them.

“Reservation for H-Harry Styles, please,” I tell the towering, dark haired man. After a few moments tapping away on the kiosk, he grabs two menus and leads me through a maze of linen covered tables sat under the glow of the several chandeliers.

I try to hide my disappointment when he leads me to an empty, round table, leaving with a few words about my server being with me soon. Another feeling bubbles up inside me, forcing itself to join all of the others mixed together within me. I had a feeling I was too early, I think silently as I shrug off my long pea coat to hang over my chair. Skye’s wishes of good luck and ‘lots of snogging’ float back to me, filling my sad cheeks with another wash of pink. ‘No, you aren’t driving yourself, I’m dropping you off so then you can get a ride home with him, and lay a big one on him when he walks you up,’ she had insisted, but the anxiousness years in the making is doing a good job of making me doubt myself tonight.

My attention drifts to my phone that is silent with no new messages, but I still check our conversation. The last message was from him:

see u in half an hour for our date bug :) xxx

My thumb scrolls through our previous messages, straying to last night’s that brings a smile to my face.

I have no idea what to wear tomorrow :/

meant it when i said u look beautiful in anything Becks ;) help what should i wear ? xx

I might be a little impartial to that gray suit you wore to my class lecture that one time ;)

noted ;) i may especially love the color red on u if u wanna know

Noted ;) Question....

shoot, love

Skye was gonna drop me off tonight on her way to her boyfriend’s …. Would a ride home be too much to ask?

course not Becks. anytime u need a ride im here. id love to give u a ride home. perfect we can jam 2 some spice girls in the car then ;)

I can’t wait

neither can i bug :)

My reminiscing is interrupted when my eyes fall to my outfit of choice, tugging up the scoop neck that Skye insisted wasn’t ‘too slutty.’ Now, I’m not so sure about it, and I can’t decide if I wish he’d show up already, or if I’m not ready. Those thoughts are stolen away when the texts disappear on my phone, his smiling face claiming the screen with a jingle.

“Hello?” I answer with a gulp, trying to hide the anxious tremble in my voice. I can’t help it, my eyes dart to my wrist, noticing it’s already 6:05 pm.

“Hi, bug. ‘m sorry but tha traffic ‘s horrendous and ‘m afraid ‘ll be late gettin’ t’ tha restaurant. E’rybody else ‘s comin’ home from work too,” Harry explains from the other side, a weird sound taking over his voice. Yeah, we’re not too good at this pretending thing anymore, are we? I can hear the nerves in his voice, probably just like he can hear them in mine.

“Oh, it’s okay, Harry. I don’t mind at all, just be careful driving,” I respond, feeling a sense of relief at knowing where he is. I know he never would, but it squashes the tiny voice inside of me saying he wasn’t ever going to show up.

“‘Course I will, love. Thanks fer understandin’. Reckon ‘ll be there in ten. Are ya there already?” he responds, just the sound of his voice doing wonders at calming me down. The only thing that could take it all away is a hug, one of his.

“Yeah, I just sat down.”

“Mmmm, d’ya mind scopin’ out tha menu while yer there? I won’t be too long, we can order once I get there, if that’s alright,” he asks, the sound of traffic sneaking into our phone call for a second. Then, I hear him sigh ‘finally’ and the subsequent thrum of the motor.

“Yeah, sure. I’ll see you soon then, careful driving.”

“I can’t wait t’ see you, Becks,” he hums before hanging up, leaving me sitting across from an empty chair that I can’t stop picturing him sitting in.

This is really happening.

Finally.

The sound of her voice rings in my ears, and does nothing to stop the anxious shakes coursing throughout my body. Curses fall under my breath as I honk at somebody who pulls out right in front of me, making me slam on my brakes. With a sigh, I turn on my indicator before making my turn.

Pulling my keys from the ignition drenches my surroundings in silence, and reminds me of my heart beating wildly within my chest. Looking up, the decorative windows of the restaurant appear before me in shrouded light. She’s somewhere in there . . waiting for me.

Get it together, Harry. You can do this.

My eyes drift to the rear view mirror and I card my fingers through my hair until it looks decent enough. That’s as good as it’s going to get, I almost mutter while smoothing down my blazer underneath my coat. The bone chilling February night nips at my face once my feet touch the tarmac. Streetlights cast glows all around me, as well as the headlights of several cars. The thumping within my chest grows louder and faster as my feet near the door, and then the stand where a manicured man waits.

“Hi. I made a reservation unda the name ‘Harry Styles’,” I tell him, immediately casting my eyes to the tables within view, searching for her dark chocolate locks.

“Right this way,” he replies, waving a hand to follow him and I do. He leads me past several tables, empty and occupied, and almost gets me lost in the process.

The last thing I feel is lost when my eyes finally find her.

“Thank you. I-I got it from here,” I tell him hurriedly, holding a hand out that brings us both to a halt. He walks away after a short ‘you’re welcome,’ leaving me there, right where I want to be.

I don’t remember the smile reaching my ears or my heart quieting within my chest as I watch her flip through the menu thirty feet away from me. The prettiest red dress dons her long body, falling just underneath her collarbones and draped over the curve of her shoulders. Her hair falls in dark, natural waves, almost hiding the round opal sitting above the scoop of scarlet fabric. A tingling sensation blankets my body from head to toe, and the image of Becks sitting there waiting for me is burned into my mind.

It feels like I’m meeting her again for the first time, but I’m not. This feels like a new first time, and I know it’s one I won’t ever forget, much like the very first time I laid my eyes upon her.

It felt like a Monday. For the bloody life of me, I couldn’t remember if it was one at the moment. Is it Monday? I’m not sure, but with the way things were going today, it sure felt like one. The copier had a jam, I forgot the first lunch I’ve made in years at home, and my girlfriend had been annoying the fuck out of me this morning. To top it all off, I had applicants being interviewed today to fill the position of my personal assistant, ever since the last one bolted. She didn’t last more than two weeks, a big surprise.

Pete had been blowing up my phone for the last ten minutes, and I finally had had enough. Without an announcement or a knock, I stride into his office, fully intent on finding out what the hell he wants.

“I’m a little busy, if you haven’t noticed,” he retorts over the head of dark chestnut locks sat in front of him. Presumably, one of the new applicants for my personal assistant. Hmm.

“Well, ya kept ringin’ me bloody phone, Pete. So, what tha hell d’ya want?” I insist, throwing up a hand that falls to my thigh with a loud slap.

Suddenly, I wish the quiet little thing would turn around, and give me a look at her. Shy, she is, it seems. There she sits, tucked away into her little shell, dressed to impress in a dark dress.

“I’m in the middle of an interview!” he exclaims, certainly making a good first impression with the applicant. It makes me wonder for the tenth time why I bother having him do the interviews, but then I remember that I don’t really give a fuck, as long as I don’t have to do them.

“What fer, huh?” I tease, instantly getting a snappy response from Pete about it being for me, as if I didn’t already know. But, I did, and am only doing this to bother him even more.

“Ooo, ‘s it now? Ya get me a good one? Huh, Pete?” I grin, taking a step forward as a hand in my pocket plays with the tiny, metal guitar attached to my key ring. Sticking my head out as I move forward, my eyes dance across her head, and her profile that soon comes into view. “Hullo, love. Gonna be me new one, are ya? Petey here says I can’t keep one fer tha life o’ me, so here he ‘s interviewin’ me anotha one. How’s she doin’ so far, Petey? Think she’s a winna?” I joke aloud, knowing full well the effect my words have on the both of them.

My subsequent introduction falls from my lips after a retort from Pete, and then the stranger finally turns to look me in the eyes. I rack my brain, trying to put a name to her face from a prior conversation with Pete. Or was it going over her resume when it came in the other day? I can’t remember which, and I blame it on her captivating baby blue eyes, as well as the intoxicating smile that greets my own. Words float from her lips and grace my ears for the very first time, and I knew immediately that she was something else.

“Hi, my name is Becky. Becky Holte.”

Little did I know how drastically she would change my life, sometimes I thought for the worse, but ultimately for the better. The better, always. I had no way of knowing at that very moment, how many times she would come to save me.

My Becks.

The sound of homemade ravioli filled with chicken and three kinds of cheese is almost making my mouth water. It also makes me wonder when Harry will finally be here, and habitually, my eyes lift to look for him. To my surprise, I find him standing a ways away with the sweetest smile stuck to his lips.

“Hiya, Becks. Sorry ‘m late. Ya look . . absolutely gorgeous, by tha way,” he comments once he’s within a few steps of the table. He reaches across to squeeze my arm before sitting down across from me, a blush pinching his cheeks.

“Thank you, Harry. I uh, like the suit you went with, you look very handsome in it. Good choice,” I return, failing to not focus on the fast thrumming deep inside of me.

“Ya, a certain sumbody said it was their favourite on me, so I couldn’t disappoint,” he grins with a shrug, unfastening the button at his waist, exposing the satiny black button-up hidden underneath.

“Good, I’m glad you didn’t,” I smile, sure of the warmth he can see filling my cheeks, because I can see it mirrored in his own. “I like that you kept the stubble.”

“Why thank you,” he comments, once again rubbing it with his thumb and forefinger, and like before, making me all the more jealous. “I trimmed it up a li’l bit, figured I betta.”

“Oh, I hope you keep it. I think I prefer you with it.”

“D’ya now, Becks?” he teases with a lift of his eyebrows, his tousled curls almost tickling his forehead, but just barely. “‘ll hafta rememba that,” he smiles, and more than ever, it’s incredibly contagious. My cheeks are starting to hurt from smiling by now, but I don’t even mind.

“The um,” I begin nervously, my eyes falling to the elegant paper menu opened in front of me. It pains me to look away from him and the sunshine emanating from his smile, but it’s not so bad when I feel his chelsea boot knock against my heel, remaining there against the back of my ankle. “Chicken ravioli sounds good, as well as the margherita pizza, and Cacio e Pepe. Lots of good choices for dessert, too.”

“Mmm, they all sound good, love. Thanks fer lookin’ fer us,” he muses aloud, head bent down to peer at the menu when I glance over to him.

His habit returns and his bottom lip is caught between his teeth, and somehow, it makes my smile grow bigger. I didn’t think that was possible, but here I am with aching cheeks. I nudge his foot with mine and he looks up with a question on his face, soon relaxing into a sparkling smile. That effervescent look in his eyes from the other day returns, and if I hadn’t known it already, I truly could look into his eyes for the rest of eternity. The dimples haven’t left his cheeks since he arrived, and his raspberry lips beg at me from across the table.

“Let’s give it a try then,” he remarks, closing his menu without breaking our eye contact. The words dipped in honey flow from his lips and tickle something inside me, and I want more than anything to hear another meaning in them. His foot nudging at mine in return only makes me give in to it, and so does his wink.

Our server arrives at our table shortly, and I thank God for the champagne she pours into tall flutes, not taking the edge off fast enough. A conversation blossoms between us about his case, and then mine with Myles.

“Ya did great by tha way. Congrats on tha win, Becks, ‘m so fookin’ proud o’ you,” Harry grins adamantly, sweetness pouring off of his words that come out with a shake of his head.

“Thank you so much, Harry. Wait, how’d you know we won it? I was just going to tell you,” I ask with furrowed brows, and receive a measly shrug of his shoulders in return. The look on his face, as if a revelation is threatening to burst from his lips, teases at me until it abates when the server brings us waters and we order.

“So so bloody proud o’ you t’day, Becks,” he whispers as she pulls out her notepad and a pen. Possibilities blossom within my mind after he sends me a coy wink and knocks his foot against mine again. It doesn’t leave my own throughout the rest of our time there, during our meal and the laughs we share over glasses of champagne, and a plate of Tiramisu that I somehow let him share with me.

“I knew it! You were there today, sitting in the gallery, weren’t you?!” I exclaim, mumbling a short ‘thank you’ when he opens the car door for me.

“Maybe,” Harry shrugs casually, walking around the front of the car as I fall onto the leather seat.

“Harry Styles!” I nearly shout, if it weren’t for my voice dissolving into a giggle as he slides behind the steering wheel next to me.

“What? I had some stuff t’ do at tha courts, so I may have popped in fer a mo’,” he explains.

“Sure,” is all I say as I pull the seat belt across my chest.

“Hush, and play some music, bug. Here,” he insists, handing me his grey iPhone that looks normal sized in his hand, and then gigantic in mine.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were coming to watch?”

“Coz o’ that right there, Becks. Yer nervous ‘bout it right now afta tha fact, imagine how ya woulda been if ‘d told ya I was comin’ befo’ yer argument t’day,” he returns, pressing buttons on the dash and soon, waves of hot air greet my cold body.

“I guess you’re right.”

“‘m what? I didn’t catch that,” Harry jests, cupping his ear. A scoff flies from my lips and I playfully swat his shoulder. “Hey, watch it. ‘m drivin’.”

“You haven’t even switched gears, so shut up,” I laugh, catching the eye roll he thinks I don’t see. “I see that eye roll, Styles, you better watch it.”

“You betta watch it, Becks. Betta pick a good Spice Girls song too, ‘m payin’ attention,” he jokes, soon his fingers diving into my side. A laugh escapes me unwillingly, and yanks my eyes over to his giggling lips.

His name leaves mine in a near shriek, and after a blink, his tickling fingers are gone and lacing between mine. The dark flecks in his sage green eyes catch under the overhead light before it turns off automatically. He gives my hand a good squeeze as his eyes melt into mine, and a zing of electricity runs up my fingers and then my arm. The smile falling into his cheeks mirrors the one that’s been glued to my lips all night, and now grows higher and higher. I return the squeeze just as he looks to his mirrors, the click of the doors locking when he shifts to Reverse.

It almost hurts to look away, but so many other feelings and thoughts are occupying me as my eyes fall to his phone. Disbelief washes over me as his long, ringed fingers sit between mine. It only grows when he lifts our intertwined hands up and over the middle console, to sit on his warm thigh.

An uninvited wave of pain hits me when I spot familiar sad songs amongst his music library, like the familiar ‘When She Loved Me’ that could make any Toy Story fan weep within seconds of hearing it. It intensifies when my eyes run over the songs Before You Go, Wish You Were Here, Say You Won’t Let Go, and With or Without You. Chancing a glance over at him, he stares straight ahead into the dark night, and a bittersweetness greets me. I try not to let it in, and the realization that perhaps those lost seven months were hell for him too, as were those five days apart.

“Find it? I have Spice World on there sumwhere. I know I have loads o’ shit on there, sorry,” he comments, turning his head to check his left before pulling onto the busy road.

“Y-Yeah,” I stutter, looking back to his expansive music library spanning from the 50’s to current music. His thumb drawing circles onto my knuckles brushes some of the sadness away as I bring up the album he speaks of.

“Bloody hell, why ya choosin’ tha sad one, Becks?” he titters, glancing over to me when we come to a stop at a light. His smile shining back at me whisks away the last drops of the sadness, but hints of it remain with me, begging to be felt. I shrug my shoulders as the beginning lyrics of ‘Too Much’ fills the car, and I only turn it up louder. “I get t’ pick tha next song, if yer playin’ sad stuff. Bloody rubbish you are at pickin’ songs,” he sighs jokingly with a shake of his head, curls tickling his ears and the nape of his neck.

“I am not!”

“‘Kay, brat, keep talkin’,” he snickers, earning another scoff from me that he answers with a harder laugh. I cast my eyes to the window with an exaggerated whimper, soon hearing his profuse apologies. “‘m kiddin’, Becks, bloody hell. I already know ya have a good taste in music from all o’ our talks. I like this song too, jus’ thought ya’d go fer some happy songs, seein’ tha . . occasion and e’rythin’. Hey.”

I answer him with my eyes returning to him, finding his wink before he looks back to traffic, and with my thumb coasting back and forth across his smooth skin. I listen to the lyrics, feeling another squeeze of my hand from him before I change the song.

“Hey, don’t change it befo’ ‘s done!” he exclaims, and I just laugh, watching his shocked lips soon do the same.

“Then stop complaining,” I argue, catching another roll of his eyes as the car slows to a stop in front of another light. Joy buds on my lips as the surprise unfolds on his features, meanwhile his eyes crinkle, the dimples fall deeper, and his raspberry lips thin out as a smile consumes his face.

“I knew ya were sumthin’ special,” he notes aloud with a shake of his head, a giggle emanating from his joyous smile, right before he joins me to sing along to Shania Twain’s ‘Man, I Feel Like A Woman.’

His fingers laced between mine continue to send my heart into overdrive as we belt out the song between contagious laughs, and then another crowd favourite, ‘You’re Still The One.’ This one gets me and sometimes throughout the song, I can’t get myself to look at him with the sincerity held in the lyrics. As well as the words that hit too close to home.

Finally, I can’t stand it anymore, and my eyes drift over to his at the end of the song, finding that his are already on mine. “‘m so glad we made it. Look how far we’ve come, my baby,” Harry finishes with his eyes dancing upon me with that smile dripping with molasses. As if his hand squeezing mine periodically throughout the song wasn’t already making me want to cry, now I really could. I return the gesture before looking out the window, blinking back the arriving tears from my eyes as those lasting words sing inside of my head.

Yeah, we finally made it, Harry. Belatedly, but finally.

“‘s been years since ‘ve been here, hasn’t changed much tho’,” Harry remarks softly, only a few steps away from my door.

“Yeah, the inside looks bout the same too.”

“‘m sure. Maybe I could see fer meself one o’ these days,” he remarks aloud, and when my eyes drag over to his nervously, I answer him with a nod.

“I’d like that.”

“Me too,” he coos, rubbing the pad of his thumb along the back of my hand. A shy smile nudges at the edge of my lips as he stands in front of me, my right hand still safe within his. “Well, I had a wondaful time t’night, thanks again.”

“You’re welcome, and thank you too. I had a lot of fun . . with you.”

“So did I, bug. ‘ll um, text you later then?” Harry says, clearing his throat awkwardly, his bottom lip soon returning to its nervous spot.

“Y-yeah, sounds good,” I mumble quietly, eyes falling to my hand that he drops. The absence of his warmth against mine feels very strange now, having been holding hands for the entire drive and subsequent walk up to my apartment.

“Night, Becks.”

“Goodnight, Harry, careful driving,” is the last thing I say before slipping behind my door, finding Skye perched on the sofa. The monotonous, forced words echo in my ears and my eyes fall to the floor, disappointment flooding every inch of me.

“So, how’d it go?! Did you finally fucking kiss him?!” she shouts the second the door meets its frame.

“No,” I admit between shy lips, the steps I take seeming as if they’re from somebody else’s body, not mine. The entire last five minutes feels like somebody else had lived them, not me. No, it can’t end like that. “Not yet, anyways,” I rush, ignoring my shoes I already toed off, spinning around and ripping open the door. “Harry, wait!” I exclaim, finding his surprised expression waiting in front of the lift.

“What?” he asks, eyebrows bent into a questioning mess.

“I-I forgot something,” I manage, the words spilling out in a heap while he closes the distance between us, stopping right in front of me. Right where I need him.

“Forgot what, bug? Did ya forget yer shoes in me car?” he titters, the fluorescent glow overhead picking out the few blonde hairs in his stubble.

“No . . something else,” I finally admit, taking a step when there aren’t any left.

The dimples remain set into his cheeks while his eyes fall to my lips and mine raise to his. His facial hair is prickly and dense under the pad of my thumb, and his coveted bottom lip is warm and pillowy. The golden hue of his olive green irises fills my mind when my lips finally meet his, and at last, I find his bottom lip between my own. His sweet giggle sounds against my lips as my fingers get lost in his buttery curls. I come to echo it when his hands shock me with their coldness against my hips, pulling me closer to him. One strays to the back of my head as his lips move against mine, the word ‘finally’ repeating incessantly within my mind. His barely there beard is scratchy against my skin, contrasting to the smooth tip of his nose grazing my cheek. The cinnamon and cocoa powder from the Tiramisu cake tickles my taste buds while his spicy vanilla smell covers me like a blanket. Zings shoot across my palm pressed to his smiling cheek, his facial hair prickly against the sensitive skin.

Not feeling like what was actually mere seconds later, air fills my lungs when we pull away at the same time, sharp inhales filling the air. Quickly, his sweet giggle joins it, and ropes one of my own in. The tip of his nose leaves trails on my cheek as his forehead falls onto mine.

“Ya have no idea how long ‘ve waited fer that,” Harry rasps, his warm breath dancing across my lips. His own press a whisper of a kiss to mine briefly, although after that, now I’m sure it could never be long enough.

“I think I do know,” I mumble, my hand straying to his chin where I brush the tip of my thumb against the flesh of his bottom lip.

“‘m sorry it took us so long, bug.”

“It’s okay, we’re here now. Finally,” I tell him and he nods, the twinkle in his eye bright as can be. For the first time, I let myself melt and lose myself in the greens of his eyes. Something I have wanted to do ever since the very first time I looked into his green eyes and knew I was fucked.

“Yes, we are. And look at you, Becks. Ya beat me t' tha first date and tha first kiss,” he smirks with a decadent laugh adorning his words. I can’t help but join him while I twirl a ringlet of his hair around the tip of my finger against the back of his neck.

“Oh, it’s okay, Harry. You got the first hand hold, and the first Shania Twain car duet.”

A roll of his miraculous eyes accompanies his continuing laugh, “Ya, well, so did you, but I got tha more romantic one,” he insists, words welcomed by my surprised scoff.

“Wait, you don’t find ‘Man, I Feel Like A Woman’ romantic?!” I nearly exclaim in faux disbelief, my voice softening into a giggle quickly.

“Only when you sing it, bug,” Harry smiles, thumbing circles into the small of my back.

“Wait, you got tha first handhold, brat. Rememba, when I visited you at yer old work that day? Bloody hell, you beat me t’ all tha good ones, Becks. No fair,” he snickers with a sigh to his words, the two contrasting the other. I suffice my response with an obligatory nod, feeling my heart just now starting to settle into a regular beat. “Becks, there’s so many things ‘ve wanted t’ say t’ you, and now, I finally can.”

“I think I know how you feel.”

“First thing ‘ll say ‘s I get tha second date and tha second kiss,” Harry contends with a smirk held in his eyes.

“Oh, really?” I giggle and he soon nods. He quiets the laugh beginning on my lips with his own giddy ones, my lips molding against his effortlessly. Thoughts blossom quickly within my mind, including why I waited so fucking long to kiss him. If I’d known all of these years how wonderful it feels to kiss him, I never would have waited this long. Our kisses are slow although hurried, our lips searching for the other’s desperately, and somehow perfectly. Years overdue, and it couldn’t feel any more perfect.

“Fookin’ hell, I jus’ wanna keep kissin’ you, Becks. Dunno if I can stop,” he chuckles, brushing his nose against mine softly. Shockingly, his eyes are even more gorgeous from this view, and I didn’t think that was possible. Evidently, anything is.

“You don’t have to,” I laugh and he shrugs his shoulders while his eyebrows mimic the expression, his giggle soon vibrating against my tingling lips.

“We have loads o’ lost time t’ make up fer,” he notes aloud.

“Yes, we do. A couple years, give or take.”

“Mmmhmm, yer right there, li’l one. Fook, there were so many times I wanted t’ kiss ya ova the years,” he sighs with a sad shake of his head. His dimple is soft under my fingertip, hidden under the warm brunette facial hair.

“Then kiss me.”

Too soon, his lips leave mine after a short peck, but I press at the back of his curls and envelope his laugh with my lips. My name falls from him in a delighted whisper before one more kiss. Our laughs grow louder only to be muffled, although weakly, when a figure walks by into their nearby apartment. My face runs to the crook of his neck, my very favorite song dancing along my ears as he holds me against him.

“Nothing to see here, sir,” I joke, and the warmth filling my insides grows at the sound of his happiness.

“No, I rememba I got tha first handhold that night we went out fer drinks tha first time. Tha night with tha Purple Hazes and all those shots,” Harry insists from above me, and I give him the funniest look when I come out of hiding.

“You’re still going on about that?” I ask in near disbelief, watching his curls move when he nods his head, dipping to meet my lips with his for a slow kiss.

“I don’t want this night to end,” I hum against the strawberry color of his decadent mouth.

“Neither do I, Becks. ‘ve been waitin’ fer it fer so long,” he agrees, the wispiness of his eyelashes ghostlike against my forehead.

“It’s getting late, and Skye is probably dying to hear how tonight went.”

“Ya betta go and tell tha poor girl then,” he responds, pulling my eyes towards his that sit just a moment away, sending all of the sunshine in my direction.

“That’s okay?”

“‘Course. I may or may not ring Myles on tha way home t’ tell him all ‘bout it,” he shrugs with a telling lilt to his sing-song voice. The only sound that leaves my lips is an amused laugh that he echoes, and I know that he feels the same way.

At last, I know after over two years that he feels the same way, through and through.

“We’ll figure out sumthin’ fer this weekend t’getha, sound good?”

“Yeah, sounds great, Harry,” I agree slowly and he nods ever so slightly, leaving kisses starting from my temple and down my cheek.

“G’night, bug.”

“Night, Harry. Drive careful,” I tell him and once again, he answers me with a nod.

“I promise, babe.”

“Goodnight,” I almost whisper, the very last breath of the word stolen away by his lips. I wouldn’t want it any other way, I barely am able to think as his lips massage mine between his. His neck is fiery beneath my palms and I’m sure mine is likened to it underneath his fingertips, surges of electricity passing below my skin. The skin is balmy against my blushing cheek when my arms come around his middle, surprising us both with a long hug, before I pull away first.

“Night, my Becks,” he murmurs against my lips, a shiver running down my spine when he leaves with a final squeeze to my hand. If that didn’t do it, the song flowing from his humming lips sparks memories behind my eyes, but I still can’t figure out where it’s from. But, I know that I have plenty of time to figure it out, and to get all of the kisses that I want from him.

Fucking finally.

22 notes · View notes

atc74 · 5 years ago

Text

I’d Rather Be Blind

Square(s) Filled: Rogue Cupid for @heavenandhellbingo, Angel Grace for @spngenrebingo

Warnings: Feelings of inadequacy, angst, mentions of sex and nudity, Worried!Dean and a healthy dose of fluff

Summary: The reader witnesses her boyfriend, Dean, fitting in perfectly with another hunter. She doesn’t know what she’d do without him and mutters to herself. The only problem is someone is always listening.

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Word Count: 2977

Written for: @heavenandhellbingo, @spngenrebingo

Beta’d by: @amanda-teaches

A/N: This was inspired by the amazing Briana Buckmaster and her cover of I’d Rather Go Blind because I thought it would make a great case. Also, I feel like I owe y’all something lighter after Watching You. This is written in first person present tense. Hope you like it!

Like Dean’s scent? Buy it here from @scentsfromthebunker!

Werewolf hunt, Sam said. It’ll be fun, Sam said. Well, no it really wasn’t. For a number of reasons. First of all, it was a werewolf hunt. I don’t even like dogs. Second of all, is her. Bouncy, flirtatious, built and boisterous. Katrina, is her name and annoying me seems to be her game. Sure she is a hunter. An old family friend, Sam relayed. Old family friend my ass. I was willing to bet old flame of Dean’s, was more accurate. The only problem I had with that was that I am Dean’s flame now and have been for about a year.

The history between them is undeniable and all I can do was sit and watch as she swooped right into our game of pool and made me look like a fool. In fact, she has done everything right over the last couple days on this hunt and with Dean. Annoyingly right, and I couldn’t help but feel invisible. The way she walks right next to him. The way she inserts herself so perfectly into any conversation.

Even now, as I sit and watch them reminisce about the good old days, I see them talking and I can’t help but feel he is on his way out. With her.

I pick up my beer, my reflection clear as day in the glass and I see tears in my eyes. I can’t compete with her. I think back to the night before. I think back to Dean’s kiss and his warm embrace as we readied for bed. Then he rolled over and fell asleep.

Clumsily, I excuse myself to use the restroom. I’m sure I look like a mess and I had to get it together before someone, probably Sam, noticed. Or worse. Her.

I’m finally alone in the single stall. I lock the door and press myself up against it as I let the fresh tears roll down my face. “I’d rather go blind than see you walk away from me,” I sob quietly.

It takes all the willpower I have to pull my shit together and stop crying. I splash some cold water on my face and steel my resolve as I return to our table. As I walk out of the restroom, I bump into another woman because I can only stare at my hands as I walk. “I’m so sorry.” I rub my shoulder. It feels warm. Maybe I took a hit on the hunt a little harder than I thought.

“Y/N, you okay?” Sam whispers as I slide back into the booth, across from her and Dean.

“Um, yeah. I’m just tired, Sammy.” I clear my throat. “”I think I’m going to turn in, though.” I stand to leave.

“Doll? You okay?” Dean finally notices there’s something wrong.

“Oh, yeah. Just going to head back, I’m beat.” I smile, but I know it looks as fake as it feels. Sam catches my eye and raises an eyebrow. Even he knows I’m lying.

I make the walk back to the motel across the street quickly, practically running until I can open the door and slam it shut behind me. I let myself lose it again. I strip down to just my panties and tee shirt, collapsing into the bed I share with Dean until I my tears run dry. I am so wrought with exhaustion, I don’t hear Dean return to the room.

The room is warm, too warm and I try to throw back the covers, but they won’t move. Something heavy is wrapped around my middle. I reach down to remove the obstacle. I can feel it’s Dean’s arm that is weighing me and the blanket down. I grunt with exertion to move him and I shuffle to the bathroom, yawning. I flip the light switch, but nothing happens. It’s still dark. My eyes search the wall again and I flip it a second time. Up and down, up and down, but it only produces a flicker of light. I turn and look toward the bed where I know Dean is still sleeping. I can’t see him. I can’t see anything. “Dean!”

I blink rapidly, hoping it’s the alcohol from the night before clouding my vision, but it’s not working. I can’t see. “Dean!”

“What? What happened?”

Dean is alert now. I can hear him moving from the bed. The rustling of the scratchy comforter, the stiff sheets as he throws them aside. His feet hitting the carpet repeatedly as he nears me. His breath as he fills his lungs.

“Y/N, what’s wrong doll?” Dean grips my arms firmly as he stands before me. I can feel his body heat.

“Dean, I-I can’t s-see,” I choke out through my sobs.

“Hey, hey. It’s okay. I’m here,” he coos. If there is one thing Dean Winchester is good at, besides, well, everything, he knows how to keep me calm in any situation.

“Dean, I’m scared.”

“I know. I know. Let’s get you back into bed and I’m going to call Sam and Cas,” he says. Dean picks me up effortlessly and carries me back to the bed, setting me down gently, as if I were fine china. I breathe him in before he lets go. This is the closest we have been since she arrived. Then he lets go.

“Sam? I need you here asap! I don’t care. Now!” Dean practically screams at his brother and I hear the angry tap on the glass as he disconnects, then another as he places another call.

“Cas, buddy, I need you. We need you. Something is wrong with Y/N. She-she’s blind, Cas. I don’t know what happened. Just get here, please.” His voice is soft now. I can hear the worry in it. The concern. It’s not the first time I’ve heard Dean sound like this. It’s ingrained in who he is. I fear it may be the last, though. With her around, he doesn’t need me. He especially doesn’t need a blind me.

I stand and shuffle to the restroom to try again. I need to pee and shower. Maybe, just maybe, I’ll feel better.

“Hey, where you going?” Dean questions.

“To the bathroom. I gotta go,” I tell him. “Maybe I’ll feel better after a shower, too.”

“I’ll help you,” he offers.

“I don’t need your help, Dean. It’s a shower,” I scoff.

“Please let me help you,” he pleads, his voice heavy with guilt. “I wasn’t there to protect from whatever did this. Please.”

“Fine,” I concede. “Let me do my business first.”

I do what I need to do and wash my hands. For some reason, I’m nervous. Is it because I’m missing one of my senses? It’s not like Dean has never seen me naked, and this wouldn’t be the first time he has helped me into the shower, so why now? It’s because of her, I’m sure. She has shaken my confidence to the core. My confidence in myself and in my relationship with Dean. I reach for the knobs, but instead of where I expect them in the middle of the wall, I stumble, until my hand connects with one and my knee with the floor.

The door flies open, banging harshly against the tiled wall. “I thought you were going to let me help you?”

“I was just trying to turn on the water, but I missed,” I winced, rubbing out the pain in my right knee.

“Here, let me,” he mumbles. I feel his hands at my hips, lifting my shirt. The cooler air rushes over my skin and I shiver. He can feel it.

The water turns on and I can feel the steam filling the room, filling my lungs, sticking to my skin. I can hear the rustle of clothing and then I can feel his warm body next to mine, warming me. His able arms pick me up and set me in the shower. He holds on until my feet are firm below me, and he pulls the curtain closed.

My back is to the shower head and the water runs through my hair and down my body. Dean turns us and I can feel his hands in my hair. The fresh smell of my apple shampoo fills my nose. I hear him take a deep breath and I wonder if he knows I only use it because he loves the way it smells. I think he finds comfort in it.

He turns us again to rinse the suds from my hair, and works in a bit of conditioner. I feel for the wall behind me and step back so he can wash his own hair. I fumble for my body wash, but come up empty. The room is silent except for the running water, but I can hear his mind working, wondering why I have to be so stubborn and try to do it on my own.

“Here, I got it, doll.” His voice is soft, but I can hear him over the rushing water. The cloth is rough on my flesh, but his touch is gentle as he runs it over me. “You want to, uh, finish or…”

His words hang in the air. If we were feeling frisky, Dean would wash everywhere for me. We like to make it a game. See who can get the other worked up the fastest, but this is not a game. I am feeling the furthest from frisky. And it seems too intimate, given the circumstances.

I shake my head, wet strands slapping my face. “I can do it.” I turn my back to him, using the wall for support and guidance. I can feel his eyes on me as I do. He wants to make sure I don’t slip.

We finish and I step back into the spray to rinse the thick cream from my hair. I feel his arms reach around my legs to turn off the water and now the room is too quiet.

“Help me find my towel?” I ask quietly.

“I got it right here,” he responds and I feel his hand in mine. “Step up and over…good. Now the other one.”

Dean is patient with me, with the situation. He towels off my body gingerly, as if I might crack, before he squeezes the water from my hair.

“I’m going to grab your clothes. Have a seat,” he says, lowering me to the edge of the tub. The door opens and I can hear him talking to Sam in hushed tones I can’t quite make out. But then I can hear Sam on his laptop, drumming away at the keys, no doubt looking for a solution to my current predicament. Dean returns with my clothes and I can feel his fingers on the towel.

“I can dress myself, Dean,” I snap and am immediately sorry. “I-I’m sorry. Thank you for helping me shower. I think I can take it from here. I’ll be out in a minute.”

“Okay,” he murmurs and I feel his stubble and warm lips against mine. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

So many things we take for granted, like the ability to dress ourselves. I put my underwear on backwards on my first attempt. I take more time with my shirt, feeling for the tag before slipping it over my head. The jeans are a little easier. I open the door and am met with silence. I start scuttling along the carpet, somewhat familiar with the path to the bed. “Dean?”

“I’m right here,” he says, reassuringly. In an instant, his arm is around my waist, the other holding my hand as he guides me to sit at the table with Sam. He takes both my hands and wraps them around something warm. “Coffee. Careful, it’s hot.”

“Do we know anything yet?” I ask, optimistically. These men, these hunters, my family, are the best at what we do.

“What do you remember from last night?” Sam queries. “You only had a couple of drinks, Y/N, so I know you weren’t drunk. Try to clear your mind. Think.”

I remember a lot from last night, very little of which I wish to share with either Winchester, least of all Dean. I turn my head to where I can hear him pacing. “Dean? Do you think you can grab some breakfast? I’m starving.”

“Sure thing, Doll. Thinking on a full stomach sounds like a great idea,” Dean mumbles and slips his coat on. The keys in his pocket jingle. “The usual?”

I nod and smile. “Thank you.” I sip my coffee until I hear the Impala drive away.

“I remember everything, Sam. I remember her and this stupid hunt. I remember watching them together. Talking together. Walking, playing pool. Doing everything together,” I pause and swallow the lump of emotion that is caught in my throat.

“Y/N, there’s noth-” Sam starts, but I cut him off.

“I remember thinking how natural they look together. How perfectly she just fits into his life,” I emphasize. “I kept thinking to myself I’d rather go blind than to see him walk away from me. I’d rather be blind than to see him with her.”

“Okay, that might be something,” Sam’s fingers fly across the keyboard, googling something no doubt. “What else do you remember? Did anything happen when you went to the bathroom? Did you see anyone that looked out of place? Did you talk to anyone?”

“No, Sam. I went to the bathroom and cried. I splashed water on my face then came back out. I bumped into a woman on my way, then I left and came right back here-,” I recounted for him. “Wait. The woman. I bumped into her with my shoulder. It was all warm. I was thinking maybe I got hit harder than I thought, but it doesn’t hurt and it’s not warm.”

“What did she look like?” Sam asked.

“She was short, tiny. Maybe five foot. She had light brown hair and it was pulled back in a bun. She was dressed conservatively and I remembered thinking she looked out of place in the bar,” I rambled as Sam listened intently, the keys going silent.

“Probably not a witch,” Sam pondered. “Angel, maybe? Can angels even do that? Cas!”

The distinct flutter of wings rent the air. “Y/N, you are not well.”

“No shit Sherlock,” I chortle. I feel his fingers press to my forehead, as they have many times before, but before Cas can use his grace, the door opens and I hear Dean’s boots on the carpet.

“Cas? Can you heal her?” Dean demands.

“Yes, I can. Whoever did this to her left a touch of their grace behind,” he informs them.

“An angel did this? Since when do angels give the gift of blindness?” Dean’s voice is dripping with sarcasm. “Dickbags.”

Cas’s fingers are cool on my skin, but soon a warmth fills me. I blink my eyes, shadows becoming formed figures. I glance around the room, still blinking my eyes as they adjust to the change. I see Dean, his eyes hopeful. Sam is still next to me, his brow furrowed. Cas is standing above me, anger twitching in his facial muscles.

“Danael…” he growls.

“Cas, what kind of angel can do this?” Sam poses.

“Angels contain infinite power, Sam. We have the power to answer prayers. I believe that is what Danael thought she was doing,” Cas theorized. “There have been reports of a rogue cupid, but this is the only instance I have witnessed their treachery.”

“Dickbags,” Dean mutters again, but he is kneeling now, right next to me.

“Doll, you okay?” His eyes search mine as he waits for my reply.

“I can see,” I respond, not sure what else to say.

Sam clears his throat and makes eye contact with me. “Tell him.” He mouths at me, then stands. “I’m going to go change. Cas, come on.”

“You want me to accompany you to your room to watch you undress?” Cas asks.

“Just come with me,” Sam groans.

Sam and Cas are gone, leaving me alone with Dean. I don’t know where to start. I don’t know what to say. I fiddle with my hands. He notices.

“Hey, what’s going on in that gorgeous mind of yours?” He lifts my chin and I am forced to look at him.

“If you want to be with her, just tell me,” I whisper, then I start rambling. “I love you so much I don’t wanna watch you leave me. Most of all I just don’t wanna be free. I’m so scared you’re going to drop me and go back to her. And I just can’t take that. We’ve never been big on commitment, but I don’t want to be free. I want to be yours.”

“What? Who?” Dean is taken aback by my words. “Katrina?” He huffs.

“Yes. Her.” I swallow heavily. “I can’t compete with her Dean. You and she obviously have a history. A history I know nothing about and I don’t fit.”

“Y/N, there is nothing, I repeat nothing, between me and her,” Dean insists. “She is an old family friend, that’s all. We do have a history, yes. But it’s nothing compared to the history I have with you, doll.”

My insides warm as he speaks. “But…”

“Stop. I can’t make all those feelings, all those thoughts go away. I can only tell you the truth and hope you believe me,” Dean reiterates. “She bats for the other team.”

“What?” I can feel my eyes go wide at his words.

“She’s a lesbian, doll. I kissed her once, before she told me she liked girls. I was relieved, to be honest. Bobby woulda killed me,” he laughed. “And you do fit. Right here next to me. You’re my missing puzzle piece.”

Did you like it? The nicest thing you can do for a writer is reblog their work and tell them, and others, how much you like it!

The Whole Enchilada: @iwantthedean @dolphincliffs @mrswhozeewhatsis @meganwinchester1999 @cherrycokegirls1 @closetspngirl @roxyspearing @flamencodiva @blacktithe7 @sis-tafics @just-another-busyfangirl @evansrogerskitten @amanda-teaches @hannahindie @wotinspntarnation @winchesterprincessbride @winecatsandpizza @kickingitwithkirk @wi-deangirl77 @hobby27 @mogaruke @gh0stgurl @alleiradayne @idreamofplaid @seenashwrite @crashdevlin @thoughtslikeaminefield

The Dean’s List: @jerkbitchidjitassbutt @dean-winchesters-bacon @maddiepants @adoptdontshoppets @mtngirlforever @supernatural-jackles

#heavenandhellbingo #spngenrebingo #dean winchester #dean winchester x reader #dean x reader #dean winchester angst #dean winchester fluff #supernatural fanfiction

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sophieakatz · 4 years ago

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Thursday Thoughts: Sophie Sides

I cannot overstate how highly I recommend the web series Sanders Sides. In this scripted series, YouTuber Thomas Sanders shares the screen with a cast of characters, each a personification of an aspect of Sanders’s own personality – and each performed by Sanders himself. The ensuing debates and shenanigans are quick-witted, hilarious, and increasingly thought-provoking as the show progresses and more of Sanders’s “Sides” make their presence known.

I stumbled across these videos at a time when I really needed to do some serious reflection on some big questions, such as “What kind of person do I want to be?” and “Am I taking good care of myself?” – the kinds of questions that this show tackles. Sanders Sides has definitely helped me think through some difficult topics.

It’s also gotten me thinking about my own Sides. If I were to split my personality up into different characters, who would I find? I wouldn’t divide myself up along the exact same lines as Thomas Sanders, of course, though our personalities do overlap in some interesting ways.

Let me introduce you to the Sophie Sides!

Lilly – The Dreamer

If it’s time for fun and imagination, then Lilly is not only on board, but at the helm! She is my creative side, the source of my storytelling and my artistic drive. Lilly also embodies my more childlike aspects, including playfulness and optimism. She’s my love of fantasy novels, Disney movies, and puns – and it’s ridiculously easy to make her laugh. Lilly is a constant source of new ideas, so she can be really distracting when I need to focus on just one task. She believes that “princess” is a compliment no matter what tone of voice it’s said in.

(Lilly’s full name is Lilly Belle, a reference to Lillian Disney – Disney Studios ink artist, wife of Walt Disney, and the reason we know the famous mouse as Mickey rather than Mortimer! Lilly wears the longest, swishiest blue dress, perfect for twirling like a Disney princess!)

Maddy – The Mother

I’ve always been the Mom Friend, and Maddy is why. She is the personification of my idea of what it means to be an adult – rational, responsible, and nurturing. Maddy keeps my priorities in order and makes sure that I stay on track and on schedule for all the important things in life. This includes eating well, attending doctor’s appointments, doing homework, attending synagogue, developing my career, and taking care of my friends. Maddy loves structure, rules, and tradition, and so she embodies my religious observance as well.

(Maddy starts with M – M as in “mother” and “maternal”! The other Sides will call her “Mom” if she’s getting too overbearing. Maddy wears professional attire: a black blazer, black slacks, and a dark blue blouse.)

Vashti – The Warrior

For Vashti, the term “social justice warrior” is no insult. She is my morality – a strong, instinctive sense of right and wrong, combined with an incessant, selfless desire for things to be fair. Vashti also embodies my aggressiveness, defensiveness, and vindictiveness; she tends to show up when I’m really pissed off, and she’s a lot shoutier than the other Sides. She holds both me and the world to a very high standard, and she has an unfortunate tendency to jump to conclusions and see issues as black and white. Without her, I’d be a much worse person – but I’m glad the other Sides are there to balance her out.

(In the Book of Esther, Vashti was the queen of Persia. One night, her husband the king told her to dance naked in front of his friends. She refused! My mom used this story to inspire in me an early sense of feminism, and so Vashti seemed the perfect name for this Side. Vashti rocks matching blue jeans and denim jacket over a “Girls Rock!” t-shirt.)

Sidney – The Slacker

While the first three Sides are a “get things done” kind of people, Sidney… is not. She represents my laziness, self-indulgence, and procrastination. Sidney encourages me to expend as little energy as possible and to devote my time to leisure activities, which can put her sharply at odds with Vashti, Maddy, and Lilly. In Sidney’s defense, she is a much-needed source of “chill” in my life. Without her, the other Sides would burn me out!

(Besides the useful alliteration of “Slacker Sidney,” Sid is the name my parents had on standby if I’d been assigned male at birth. The name is mine, but also not mine – appropriate for a Side who embodies qualities about myself that the other Sides don’t readily accept as a part of me. Sidney wears a burgundy hoodie and dark blue sweatpants.)

These first four are the aspects of myself I’m most comfortable with. But, just like in Sanders Sides, the exploration doesn’t end there…

Ex – Anxiety

Two years ago, I wrote a fairy tale about a little monster named Ex who mimics other people’s voices, tricking you into imaginary arguments that get you all riled up about things that didn’t actually happen. When I started thinking about my Sides, Ex turned up again.

Ex would tell you that she’s my forethought, my ability to imagine the outcomes of future interactions. However, the scenarios she presents always run negative. It’d be more accurate to say that Ex embodies my anxiety. She insists that she knows, with 100% certainty, what other people are thinking and how they will react to me. Her goal is to keep me safe, but she tends to blow things out of proportion and leave me feeling downright awful.

(Ex is a shapeshifter, able to appear as anyone in Sophie’s life and even as the other Sides. Ex’s name is the variable X – a placeholder for whatever role she may choose to play. I’m reluctant to give her a name, lest the arguments I have with her taint my emotional response to anyone I happen to meet with that same name. When Ex appears as herself, she wears a long green trench coat and a blue fedora hat. She has little blue horns and a tail which are all obviously attached to her clothing instead of being a part of her body.)

(Side note – lately, I’ve been thinking differently about my interactions with Ex. I’ll talk a bit more about that in next week’s Thursday Thoughts!)

Mal – Depression

Mal embodies my depression and grief. Her appearances used to be much more infrequent, and it was easier to ignore her. Until this year, it’s been easier for me to see her as an enemy or as something that I should hide. But Mal shows up as an expression of my pain. While all the other Sides are talkative, Mal never speaks. Her presence alone is enough to derail a conversation with a wave of sadness; she quietly, sullenly commands attention.

(“Mal” is a Latin root meaning “bad” or “evil,” and Mal embodies the worst feelings I’ve ever had, in response to the worst things which have ever happened to me. She spends most of her time hidden under a pile of blankets, only sitting up when she wants to be noticed, so it’s unclear what she’s wearing. She has permanent dark blue tearstains on both cheeks.)

Eve – Yetzer Hara

If Vashti is Yetzer Hatov – the good inclination, my drive to make the world a better place – then Eve is Yetzer Hara – the evil inclination, my selfishness. As far as Eve is concerned, I should be my number one priority, everyone else in the world be damned! Vashti generally bans Eve from having a seat at the table, as it were, because once Eve has a say, she’s difficult to ignore. Eve is a smooth-talking politician with an agenda of ambition and pride. As Rabbi Nahman said, without yetzer hara telling us to envy our neighbors, we would never seek to improve ourselves. But as Rabbi Hillel said, if I am only for myself, then what am I?

(Christians blame the biblical Eve for “original sin,” and my Eve never met a deadly sin she couldn’t make sound appealing. Of course, she’d be the first to point out that in Judaism the concept of “sin” is much more complicated than that! Eve wears a light blue dress, much more form-fitting and much less swishy than Lilly’s. She has glowing golden eyes – and when she convinces the other Sides to listen to her, then their eyes start to glow, too…)

I ended up going much deeper in this little exercise than I expected to. Overall, it was a lot of fun! I don’t plan on making a web series about my Sides, but who knows? Maybe I’ll write a fic about them someday.

How about you? Are you a fan of Sanders Sides? Have you ever thought about what Sides make up your personality? If not, take a moment and try it out, and let me know who you discover – I’d love to hear about them!

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headlesssamurai · 5 years ago

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My Lazy, Poor, Stupid Person’s Attempt to Paint Tabletop Miniatures

by headless

This has nothing to do with covid-19 really, it’s just something I reckoned I’d share. For several years I’ve played Dungeons & Dragons, and occasionally others like Call of Cthulhu and Delta Green, or Shadowrun. Though, I say ‘play’, when I mostly run games as a Dungeon Master. It’s one of those “hobbies” that is a lot of fun for someone like me, but requires a ton of dedication, so it isn’t always easy to get a dedicated group together.

Anyhow, I generally homebrew settings and adventures, never really been too big on running pre-written games, even if some of them are fantastically written. And one of the most frustrating things is I some times want to have a miniature on the battle grid that looks a certain way. This is hardly a big deal, since miniatures are just markers meant for reference in combat encounters, the real image of the characters is in all of our heads.

Still, I sometimes want to have something especially specific, a lot of the players in my current group appreciate cool looking miniatures, and seeing as I’m usually hard-up for cash, I can’t always buy pre-painted mini-figures, unless I get a good bulk deal on ebay or something.

One of my recent attempts to acquire bulk miniatures came a few years back when I realized during the 4E days, Wizards of the Coast had released boxed board games themed with the D&D style, which all came with a great deal of unpainted miniatures; these came in sets like Wrath of Ashardalon, or The Legend of Drizzt, with lots of themed minis for the board game’s scenario.

Anyhow, I’ve had a ton of these unpainted miniatures forever and use them often for nobody-NPCs and other characters the players run across. Lately, however, the group I’ve been running in a campaign for about eleven months (usually weekly), ran across a problem where their dragonborn ranger Grixxis was captured by and then negotiated his away out of the clutches of this ancient entity who calls herself Gorgoth (who appears to be a pale, beautiful young woman, but probably isn’t; even the not so arcane-y Grixxis intuited that much). She was actually impressed that he resisted her Sleep spell, and offered him a deal, she’d let him go but he needs to complete a task for her in the next seven days, and if it isn’t completed in that time frame his soul will be bound to her forever.

The task was to go to a mountaintop and retrieve something that resides there, though Gorgoth did not explain what the object was, so the party set off to find this mysterious mountain. The journey led them to an area of bad wilderness where no one lives, and where roving bands of orcs constantly hunt and war with one another, so only a few people know anything about that region. The party ended up hiring a guide, who was a wood elf exile named Skaya. They seemed to be intrigued by her because she’s living in a city which is currently at war with wood elves, so there’s a lot of prejudice and racism against her kind. Skaya does have facial tattoos that indicate she’s been exiled from her tribe and therefore no longer truly considered by her people to be a wood elf (their worst form of punishment in this universe), but still, the party seemed immediately fascinated by this single NPC among the potential seven or so they might’ve hired for this expedition.

Anyhow, my players have only gotten truly invested in one other NPC they’ve met before this; a small little orc toddler named Gruuba who they saved from a bunch of slave trading bandits early on in the campaign. I’ve had difficulty finding a good miniature for Gruuba too (because she’s really small and scrawny), but since she’s at the same developmental level as a human six year-old they try to keep her out of combat scenarios (despite Gruuba’s excited insistence that she enjoys using clubs “for smashings”). Since the party have begun to really enjoy Skaya as character, the longer they’ve slowly, slowly gotten to know more about her stand-offish personal history, I really wanted to get a miniature for her that reflected my image of her better than the one I’d been using.

So, even though I got basically no experience doing so, I bought a miniature from Reaper Miniatures, and after looking up a few tutorial vids for beginners like me, I set about trying to paint my first mini-figs.

Two things, if you’re looking into this yourself; First, I’m not totally unartistic, I write creatively and I sketch with pencils and ink. Painting’s fairly new to me, but it’s not like I have absolutely no artistic talent. I also solder a lot of really small wires and components in my normal daily job, so I may have better muscle control for this sort of thing than some people. I only mention this because I may have had a few advantages in this undertaking. I just don’t want to make people overly confident, keep things in perspective. So whatever your level of expertise at this, if you want to start just try to patiently measure your expectations, and don’t get discouraged if your first results aren’t so great. All things improve with time.

And B. if you’re poor, lazy, and stupid like me, there’re ways to get around that. This video I watched gave me a good rundown of the basic steps which are; - scrub the plastic down with some dish soap, luke-warm water, and a toothbrush; allow at least 1 hour to dry (I let them sit for a day because I’m paranoid), and be sure there’s no lingering moisture before you start painting - get a good primer or base coat on the model before you start adding other colors; lighter base coats allow more colors to show up easier, while darker base coats tend to make the colors you paint over them darker - stay calm and take your time - try to paint the colors that’ll go under other colors first, like, if a barbarian dude is shirtless but’s wearing a few pieces of armor, paint his shirtless skin first, then paint the armor he’s wearing second because it layers over better that way - use thinner paints and multiple coats of a color to get an even final color instead of one thick coat - allow each coat of paint to dry for 10 - 20 minutes before applying the next coat - learn about washes, pigments, and inks, because they’re awesome - get a decent varnish for a final protective coat, matte varnishes make the model look dryer and flat, gloss varnishes make the model look shiny and wet, if you do a coat of gloss and a coat of matte varnish it equalizes it pretty good

And this video here sort of laid to rest my fears that I’ll need to spend $600 on paints and washes and stuff. The very helpful lady in that video explains how she uses generic acrylic paints from the craft store (I got mine at Wal-Mart) to paint her Warhammer miniatures, and she even offers a method of making your own washes from a combination of paint and flavorless mouth wash. It’s genius. So try not to stress too much about buying the really nice brand name paints, because it’s not necessary, those paints just have an optimal mix I think, otherwise they’re the same damn thing as generic acrylic paints. Also, you’re just trying to learn, so unless you really, really feel like emptying your bank account, just use the generic stuff.

I started out painting something I didn’t care about. I wanted my miniature for Skaya to look badass and awesome, so I wanted to start with some practice miniatures. Grabbed a few from those 4E board game sets and gave it a shot. But I had also recently gotten hold of a Goliath Barbarian miniature from the Player’s Handbook Heroes sets (also from the 4E days) a rare find, since it usually goes for like $60.00 by itself. Randomly found some dude on ebay selling an unopened box set for $20.00, so I got a wild elf druid and a human berserker along with it. So I started out touching up the goliath’s armor to make it look more like armor and less like weird blue stuff.

Here’s a before-and-after for him (I didn’t take photos of them before because I wasn’t anticipating this, so I just found examples from around the web):

Next I tried a re-paint. A friend of mine had recently guest-played in my campaign and created a half-drow monk (his backstory was fantastic), so since nothing like that exists, I took a Soulknife Infiltrator miniature seen here:

And repainted it to sort of look like his half-drow Monk of the Open Palm:

I finally had the courage to do a full paint, so I grabbed the Dragonborn Elementalist from the Wrath of Ashardalon box, and painted her up with reddish scales (I’m one of those who thinks dragonborn should have physical attributes of their heritage).

In the box her name’s Heskan. I definitely used way too much wash on this one so she looks super shiny.

I then took the orc archers in that same box, and not really paying too much attention this time, quickly painted them, because I lack many orc archers:

At this point, I felt it was time to finally paint Skaya, the wood elf exile. I used the Reaper Bones model Deladrin, Female Assassin ($1.99) for Skaya’s mini.

And taking way more hours than I did on the others, which were only about 1-3 hours each, when you count waiting for the coats to dry, I managed to sort of make her look like Skaya, I guess:

After this, the fact that it wasn’t complete and utter shit, which is what I expected, I was encouraged. So I tried to do out party’s tortle cleric, named Daruuk of Chult (who oddly speaks with a Slavic accent, so that’s how people from Chult sound in our campaign), for whom we’ve lacked an accurate mini-figure for some time. I bought a pack of Spikeshell Warriors ($2.99) from the Reaper Bones line.

But Daruuk characteristically wields a large shield and a warhammer, so for some reason I got super detailed and bought a pack of loose shields from the Reaper Bones line ($0.99), then bought Halbarad ($1.49) a human cleric.

I clipped off Halbarad’s hammer at the hilt, then I trimmed the spikes off of the spikeshell warrior’s club, and used a dremel to carfully mill a hole inside the shaft of the spikeshell’s club, then pinned the hammer inside and secured it with gorilla gel. I used an actual cork board pin to push the shield onto the spikshell’s offhand after cutting off his turtle shell shield in order to pin it before gluing, then clipped off the rest of the cork board pin. Somehow, this ended up making the shield look meaner because it now has a like pyramidal spike sticking out the center. After allowing the glue to dry I painted him up, and my attempt at Daruuk the Death Cleric turned out thus:

I guess his hammer looks sort of Acme-level cartoony, but he’s a giant 350 lb. turtle-man who talks like Omega Red from X-Men The Animated Series, so I’m okay with that. The spikeshell also fits well with the razorback sub-race feature I allowed Daruuk’s player to homebrew for himself. I was really proud of this one.

Finally, because I’m an insane asshole who is getting obsessed with my new hobby, I decided it was dragons or bust. So I bought a pre-primed unpainted Young Blue Dragon from WizKids ($13.99).

And spent, like, three days meticulously testing different paint layers to see how they come out. I tried to paint her in the tradition of blue dragons as they appear in the art of Forgotten Realms material, but gave her a somewhat darker cast, and added metallic blue layers to her claws and spinal ridges. I still need to paint her base, put some highlights on her eyes to accentuate the glowing effect and add my washes to give her a final layer of dimension, but here’s how she came out so far:

Behold, Stormfang! Mistress of Thunder...

Anyhow.

This is super long and I wonder if anyone will bother to read any of it. But just wanted to put this out there. From a dude who, if you asked me a year ago if I thought I could do this, I’d have said I’m too stupid, poor, and lazy. I still think of myself as all of those things. The real pros use crazy detailed techniques with like seven layered highlights on their models, and airbrushes and all kinds of other madness. I use maybe three coats total and I don’t get too worked up if I make a mistake here and there, and I haven’t spent more than maybe fifty bucks total across six weeks, and most of that was wasting paints because I was still learning how to mix different shades.

So if you got something you feel like you’ve always wanted to do but are too stupid, poor, and lazy to figure out, just go for it yo. I managed to crack out these bastards and I still think I suck, but it’s way better looking than I expected. For real though, you should see some of those Warhammer players, they got mad crazy god skills at this stuff compared to me. But your level of skill isn’t the point. The point is to have that moment with that thing you did, and look at it, and just go “Yeh, I did that” when at one time you never believed you ever could.

There’s always going to be somebody better than you, but even they, like all of us, are still learning.

侍 headless

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