#i needed to talk about the context first and lay it out loud

[bugflies00]

I continue to wonder since you said fostering au wilbur continues to be entirely in denial and Not Realizing for some time after he and quackity re-meet how exactly DOES the Feelings Realization TM go down qcihdtiwdzgd

OOOH well its very gradual and very much a disaster because. well. its him .

i think i said they remeet when theyre around 22-23, and at the time wilbur was in a really bad relationship that he only breaks off two or so years later. his girlfriend was very controlling and always bringing him down and making comments about him, his appearance, his interests, what he ate, etc. so needless to say wilburs already absolute dogshit self esteem is so further down the gutter it’s actually Wow look it pierced a hole into the ground from how far down it is.

this is important context because it’s part of why he takes soooo long to realise his feelings, he’s just so deeply entrenched in trying to make his girlfriend happy and love him and to appease everyone that he doesn’t realise. its what i call his “ghostbur” era - none of this stuff is actually strictly based on the bursonas, but i find he does follow a similar pattern of evolution, and at that point in his life he’s trying to be the biggest people pleaser possible after realising that being the unapproachable loner he was in high school would only leave him alone (also bc his abandonment issues got worse after sally left). his new relationship makes that worse also.

in the beginning him and q are just sort of awkwardly tiptoeing around each other considering they last left each other with a bajillion things unsaid and they are extremely determined on keeping said things unsaid. they start to grow back into friends, albeit more normal friends than the absolute mess of a situationship/frenemies they were in high school. theyre still themselves meaning they can’t go a second without aggravating each other, but its definitely friendlier.

and as time goes by some of their joke flirting gets a tad bit too real sometimes- quackity will make a joke and stare at him a moment too long, or wilbur will stutter out of nowhere, etc.

but wilbur still has a girlfriend!!! so as usual he shoves his head in the sand and he takes melatonin so at night he falls asleep instantly without having the time to yearn or reflect lmao. (for the record i do not condone this if your feelings change communicate that with your partner etc)

time progresses, every stranger they meet think theyre either married, sworn enemies, or fucking each other. meanwhile wilburs relationship grows worse and worse, he’s fallen deep into an eating disorder (while he was already struggling with bad eating habits pretty much his whole life it gets much worse then), hes struggling with self harm a lot, and its just not a great time. his friends keep trying to convince him to break things off, especially tommy who, since he lives with them, has seen a lot of shit and absolutely despises wilbur’s girlfriend’s guts and makes this very well known.

eventually they do break up (its a longer story than that but it would require its own post) and wilbur falls deep into a depressive episode. it makes him doubt for so long if he did the right thing, if he just should’ve sucked it up and taken whatever scraps of love he was given, but in reality the depressive episode had been a LONG time coming its just his brain was in survival mode. he never felt safe enough with her, so subconsciously his brain only allowed falling into depression again once it was safe to do so.

and so my point is that with all these things happening he’s absolutely nowhere near ready to accept his feelings. meanwhile q is pining hard - that man is going through it LMAO trying to support his friend (they still pretend to be frenemies) whilst shoving down his own shit. he’s one of the few people wilbur feels safe with (even though theyve gotten into fistfights and q has sincerely threatened his life on several occasions), mainly because, in a way, q knew him at his worst (high school) and still came back. so he has more trust in him than some of his other friends because hes convinced he’s manipulated them into thinking hes better than he is.

anyway q is planning this trip for an internship he’s doing for his law degree, and he has to leave for a month or two. wilburs 25th birthday rolls around, and he knows q wont be able to be there. he’s already still feeling shitty, not really entirely out of that depressive episode, and he’s ready to just have a lame birthday and go back to rotting in his bed.

and then (this is so cliché LET ME LIVE) theyre about to do the cake whatever and tommy yells announces they have a surprise and he turns around and wham! quackity standing there looking downright exhausted, with his suitcases around him and the airplane neck pillow still around his neck (he came straight from the airport). wilbur runs to hug him and, to me, that moment is the kickstarter that forces him to start actually realising whats happening.

first off because theyre not exactly huggers but that one was so spontaenous and it felt so right!! second because hes already sad and a bit emotionally volatile and the fact that q cared enough to rush and try his best to make it to his birthday moves him a whole lot. and finally because well yeah he’s madly in love with him but the only thing he says is to ask whether the eyebags q got from jetlag are a fashion statement in europe or if hes just reaching for the raccoon look.

theres definitely more moments after that (they take a LOOONG time to get together. and so much pining. its so bad) but i just think that moment is really sweet and also i love how their relationship progresses over time

[homunculus-argument]

When it comes to high-context and low-context cultures, where one has the expectation of people understanding specific subtle nuances of what someone says, and the other has the expectation that everything needs to be explicitly said to be understood, I've heard plenty of people from low-context cultures ask "why not say what you mean and mean what you say then, why would you have to speak in riddles?" about high-context ones, like people of the latter type are just being cryptic and esoteric on purpose.

But culture does not consist of things you do on purpose, it is just the way things are done where you were raised. And when you were raised in a high-context culture, the thought of needing to explicitly state something instead of using some phrase or expression that you've learned to use comes as a culture shock, too. It's not "fuck you for not correctly understanding my riddles three", but "oh shit, I hadn't occurred to me that I would need to say that out loud."

The first time I went on a business trip to the US, my partner came with me, and we immediately discovered that he does not fare well on long flights. So when my publisher asked me about future trips, inquiring whether my partner would be coming with me, I asked him. He said that he would, if the flights weren't such a problem - he would need to travel in some way where he could get his feet up or lay down during flights, like business class or first class. Being also a finn, I understood what he meant and relayed the message as is to my publisher, not considering that they might not.

To both of our surprise, they started to actually look for first class tickets for us.

Finnish culture is a high-context one, people don't talk much and aren't very confrontational. Being demanding and putting someone else into a position where they're forced to be upfront or demanding is rude. And in finnish, saying "this would only be possible if these entirely absurd/completely impossible conditions were met" is a polite way of saying "no". You are simply explaining why something cannot be done, without either saying an explicit "no" or seeming like you're making up excuses. It offers the other party an opportunity to agree that these conditions cannot be met, so neither party will come off as confrontational or demanding.

Both me and my boyfriend considered it self-evident that the request was absurd, and could not be read as anything but a polite way to decline. It had not occurred to me that an american's natural response to "it would be impossible to do this" is to start figuring out how to do it anyway.

[natsredbra]

headcanons for dacryphilia with jackie, nat and lottie (separate) i just know that i would cry with them because they're so hot and i can't ☹️☹️

warnings: obviously dacryphilia, smut, bottom!Jackie, top!Lottie and vers!Nat, a bit of angst in the Nat part but only if you squint so hard your eyes turn into slits

Jackie

If we’re talking dacryphillia with Jackie, she’s definitely the crier, sorry not sorry

Like this bitch is the biggest pillow princess sub bottom ever

Suuuuper emotional too, so it all checks out

She’s trusts you very much and finds it easy to be vulnerable around you

So the tears come pretty early on

We know that she’s inexperienced, so any kind of teasing overwhelms her

Thinking about teaching her to touch herself for when you’re away

And she just can’t get it right no matter what!!

She’s laying bare in front of you, rubbing her clit frantically but it’s just not the same as when you do it

Begging for you to touch her instead, followed by a series of soft sniffles and sobs

But you won’t give in no matter what, just wiping away her tears and sucking her boobs

Also also! Rubbing her upper thighs, just to make her even whinier

She’s extremely loud in general, and at that moment it’s insane

When she finally cums, she starts sobbing harder, but this time it’s probably happy tears

Also thinking about strapping her down for the first time, and she starts crying cause it’s too big!!

At first you were a bit concerned, but she begged you to continue - and what else could you do?

Your strokes were slow and gentle, yet still deep, kissing her cervix in a dizzying mix of pleasure-pain

You being the sweetheart you are, kiss her tears away, and god help her she loves it

Takes a little while for her to cum, but it’s such an intimate, beautiful experience, you only hoped to prolong it

She feels a little embarrassed by the crying after the fact, and is absolutely floored when you tell her that not only does it not bother you, you find it extremely hot

Lottie

With Lottie, you are the crier

I know it might not seem that way right off the bat, but you can’t tell me that Lottie savior complex Matthews doesn’t intentionally make you cry just to soothe you

This girl purposely puts on a sad movie just to see you cry

Coos you when you do, and her caresses get increasingly more confident

Like at first she’s all “Baby it’s just a movie, no need to cry!” and in a few minutes she’s squeezing your ass in the name of cuddling

Makes sure to get to it while you’re still teary

Buries three fingers inside of you and curls them insanely good

Whispering something like “I’m right here for you, just let it all out.” against your lips

After that, you also catch “So pretty when you cry.”

From then on, you make an effort to tear up while you have sex from time to time

Because when you do she just fucks you in such a special way!!

So intense, yet not rough

It’s humiliating and uplifting at the same time, if you understand what I mean

“You look so gorgeous whining like this for me, don’t you feel like such a pathetic little slut? I know you do. ‘S okay honey, I’m here to protect you.” 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

Kissing your tears away, even in a non sexual context

I’m such a firm believer that Lottie is very into intimate and personal sex, and nothing is more intimate to her then you letting yourself be emotional in her presence

Natalie

Okay this one’s a little tricky

Early on, you’d be the one crying for sure

Contrary to Lottie, she’s absolutely distraught when you first let tears fall

Like she’s mid thrust and stops, when you look up at her you’re met with a very concerned expression on her face

After which you talk, and she profusely apologizes for hurting you

She would never ever want to hurt you

You have a little talk a few days after that, and she really tries to understand

But I don’t think she’d be into it right away

However once she sees you suck her strap and tear up

She thinks about it way more

Wipes your tears and coos you, all you can really do is just keep going

Asks. for. permission. (this is so important to me) to fuck you to the point of tears

Once you grant it, she looks almost ecstatic, but also a little troubled

Still, it all goes away once she sees the tears spill over your rosy cheeks

I think she’d be a bit meaner about it too, overtime

Not condescending like Lottie, more just playful mocking

“Fuck, you look so good. You like crying for me? Mhm, I fuck you so good it makes you cry?”

And that takes a lot out of her too, she’s very undecided on degradation in general

But once you reassure her and tell her you’re not pretending to like it just for her sake, she experiments more

To Nat, it’s not so much about the vulnerability, more about the fact that she’s doing you so good it makes you cry (as mentioned before)

Okay now if we’re talking about Natalie crying, it’d definitely be wilderness!Nat

More specifically, leader!Nat, when she gets overwhelmed

Thinking about tribbing with her in your hut after hours

You saw that she was a bit needier that day but didn’t think too much of it

And as she gets closer, the tears start falling

You stop and ask her what’s wrong, but she just tells you to keep going

Still, she doesn’t stop crying

Soft sobs and sniffles under you, that finally stop when she cums

After that you clean her up and cuddle with her, attempting to ask what’s wrong again

She tells you all about how Shauna is pissing her off, and that she hates how everyone just relies on her

Practically saying she feels like she’s a bad leader

But the sex and cuddles definitely helped - she says it so nonchalantly too it makes you giggle a little

After that you fall asleep, partially content

[azullumi]

“oh no, there’s only one bed.” ; genshin men

summary — the one-bed trope.

characters — alhaitham, albedo, ayato, childe, cyno, diluc, heizhou, itto, kazuha, kaveh, kaeya, thoma, tighnari, scaramouche/wanderer, venti, xiao, zhongli (w/gender-neutral reader)

tags — fluff (kind); hidden feelings things going on

words — 1057

note — wrote this because i got bored

Once he sees the sight of a singular bed in a room that the two of you had to stay in the whole night, the idea that the two of you will be sharing it flusters him. Is he really going to share a bed with you? Never in his wildest dreams will he even imagine of being in the same bed as you (in the context of just sleeping in it). He tries to hide his shyness and embarrassment by talking quite a lot—“It was such a tiring day. Oh hey, there’s only one bed here.” paired with a nervous chuckle, he says. He wouldn’t sleep immediately, maybe he’ll do something for a little bit but he wouldn’t sleep immediately. He’ll wait for you until you do so and if you ever invite him to just come to the bed already so he can get the rest that he needs, he will (not before hesitating) but will only sit on the edge while his back is facing you because he doesn’t know if he can face you properly with his cheeks completely flustered and his eyes darting all over the place, not able to remain still. Archons, what is he supposed to do?

Thoma, Kaveh, Itto, Heizhou

He immediately becomes a gentleman, seemingly knowing what to do as soon as he sees there’s only one bed—he’ll be sleeping on the floor instead while you take the bed. He wouldn’t hesitate in doing so as long as you’re comfortable and satisfied in your sleep, he wouldn’t mind sacrificing a bit just for your own happiness, after all. It will take him quite a lot of convincing and talking just so you could urge him to just sleep besides you and share the bed with him—you won’t mind it really as he doesn’t seem to be the type of person that would be horrible to sleep together with (probably no snores and not much of a movement). He’ll get on the bed, on your side but not too close as he maintains a distance, and he’ll sit instead of laying down—“I am not sleepy yet.”—and he will choose to either talk and tell you stories that he has heard from when he was a kid or from the people around or he will choose to remain in silence, choosing to enjoy the sound of the leaves rustling outside and the quiet hum of the evening breeze, as he waits for you to drift off to sleep.

Cyno, Diluc, Zhongli, Tighnari, Childe, Kazuha

There's only one bed? Oh no, what are you going to do? What in the world is he going to do? Of course, sleep on it. What else even? Should he even care about the fact that there’s only one bed for you two? As long as there’s a bed, it should be no problem for you both as the bed is big enough to fit you two. He wouldn’t even bother thinking of setting some sort of boundary between you two and would even say something along the lines of not minding if you get too close to him and hug him while you sleep. He’s just so casual about it as if he has gotten used to sharing a bed with someone when in fact, this is probably his first time as despite the nonchalant act that he shows, his mind is just all over the place. Despite the casual and carefree show that he puts on, once you lay down beside him and he could inhale your scent, his heart will flutter out of his chest and his thoughts would get too loud that he’s afraid you might be able to hear him—he knows he wouldn’t be able to sleep for the whole night.

Albedo, Alhaitham, Ayato, Kaeya, Venti

There’s only one bed and there’s two of you—one of you has to be on the floor and it’s not going to be him. Although, he would probably feel bad about letting you sleep on the cold ground instead of the soft and warm mattress and would carry you to the bed as you sleep. However, if you insist, earlier on, and fight with him that you’ll be on the bed also, both of you would compromise on having a boundary in the middle of the bed and that boundary is just consisting of one pillow because archons forbid for the two of you to have so much pillows in a singular bed. “This line must not and should not be crossed or I’m going to kick you off the fucking bed,” he tells you as he points at the pillow placed at the space in between of him and you before he turns around and dozes off to sleep—it sounds like a baseless threat, one that sounds silly instead of scary, but you still listened anyways, not wanting to have any of your rest being more cut off or interrupted. Now, you’ll just have to see if the line will be maintained or one of you will cross it in the next morning.

Scaramouche/Wanderer

He wouldn’t sleep at all. He’ll be up doing something else, doing something entirely different as long as he is not and will be sleeping and it's not because he dislikes the idea of sharing a bed with you, it’s just more like he wouldn’t be able to handle it—I mean, sharing a bed, really? How cramped can it be? How awkward can it be? How hard will it be for him? It’s probably much better that he keeps awake and watches over you as you sleep instead of having such loud and persisting thoughts inside his head as he tries to rest in the bed while you’re there beside him—he probably would feel more overwhelmed with his thoughts and feelings. “Xiao? Why won’t you come to the bed so you can get at least some rest?” You say to him, tone gentle and soothing like you’re trying to make him trust you but he still insisted on not doing so, simply just shaking his head and turning his head away—And maybe that hurt you a bit but you have to brush it off as well, that’s just how he is, always keeping a safe distance from you as if he’s afraid to get close.

Xiao

© azullumi — do not plagiarize, copy, repost, nor translate any of my works.

[littleskeletonprincessss]

Heyyyy yknow what we were just talking about? So, maybe you should write Schlatt getting mad and fucking the shit out of you

-In any context-

I’m totally not just asking this so I can complete all the drafts I have

Heyyyy, i'm going to use what we were talking about as the scenario for this. (For anyone confused, you can go read the post here (you definitely SHOULD go read it because) but tldr, Schlatt would throw a bitch fit trying to put a tent up. (The SHELTER kind, you filthy rats)

also, was definitely listening to ysf audio while doing this which kinda helped. Definitely recommend him if you haven't heard.

Just some HCs:

It definitely would have taken weeks and a couple blowjobs to convince Schlatt to take you camping.

When he finally gave in, the process didn't go smooth AT ALL.

You both somehow forgot to actually make reservations at a camping site, but you reassured him that you didn't need a campsite, you could just drive into the mountains somewhere.

So anyway it starts POURING rain.

And his car is getting dirty driving through all the mud puddles trying to find a place

Side note I think Schlatt is definitely the kind of man who babies his stupid car.

As much as he babies you, if not more

When you finally find a clearing, and the rain stopped, you both got out to set up camp

But come to find out the instructions for your tent were nowhere to be found.

Schlatt being who he is, insisted with every ounce of pride in his body, that he could figure the damn thing out.

He definitely muttered lots of swear words under his breath, along with the whole idea of this stupid trip

You'd been unloading the bed supplies and when you were done you noticed it was getting darker

So you innocently asked Schlatt if he wanted a little bit of help when you noticed that he'd made no progress

"No I don't want you goddamn help. I'm not a fucking idiot."

"Schlatt, come on, it's getting dark, let me help."

"Shut the fuck up. This whole stupid camping trip was your idea in the first place."

You could see Schlatt's eyes darken with anger and frustration and fuck was it hot.

"No."

Was it a good idea to say that right now? Oh absolutely fucking not. Did you care? Absolutely fucking not.

"What the fuck did you just say to me?"

"You heard me."

Schlatt would stand up, throwing the bag of stakes down and walk to the pile of blankets before grabbing a big one off the top.

"I thought I fucking did. Fuck this fucking dumbass tent, I can blow your back out right here, now lay the fuck down."

After Schlatt would spread the blanket out you'd lay down on the slightly damp ground, barely having time to move a rock from under your back before Schlatt was pressing hard kisses against your neck, sucking harsh bruises.

"What, I don't even get a kiss first?"

Schlatts hand would immediately be on your throat.

"You need to shut your goddamn mouth. Make me drive to the middle of bum fuck nowhere with a stupid tent that won't stay up."

Schlatt would break up his sentences with nips to your neck.

His other hand would hold both of your above your head, pinning your wrists.

The nice thing about being in the middle of nowhere was you could be as loud as you needed and Schlatt made it his personal goal sometime to make you break the world record for loudest noise ever made.

He'd waste no time getting both of you naked so he could just fuck you already and sink the tent he never had trouble getting up between your thighs.

And he'd go HARD.

Taking every bit of anger out on you

"Yeah, that's my little bitch. Just a fucking little cumslut for me aren't you doll? That's all your good for apparently, since you can only come up with stupid ideas like camping"

"Open your fucking mouth." he'd say before spitting in it. "That's it, sweetheart, take it."

Man would go for hours he was so pent up, both of you coming multiple times together.

After he'd finally calmed down, when the sun was just coming up, he'd pull his underwear back on before dressing you in the warm pajamas you'd brought

Just some of his sweats and his Wilson hoodie

before wrapping you in a clean blanket and bridal carrying you to the passenger seat of the car

He'd get dressed and pack everything up before sliding in to his sit and leaning over the console to kiss you.

"You okay baby?"

Schlatt is aftercare king, always.

"Mmm" you'd mumble quietly

Starting the car, Schlatt would start driving home.

You'd turn to watch the trees pass by out the window before glancing in the rearview mirror.

"Schlatt I think you forgot the tent."

"Nope."

And he'd drive away without another word leaving a pile of canvas behind you.

Anyway sorry this was shit. <3

[meraki-yao]

RWRB: A list of thoughts on the Campfire Scene

Ok I went to sleep for another hour to calm myself down and now I can form coherent thoughts about the scene and not just scream and squeal

It's a three-minute scene with two shots. The first shot is a little over two minutes

When Alex asks his question, Henry, who was looking into the fire, tilts his head towards Alex as if to listen better. After Alex finishes, Henry looks up towards the sky, like he's wondering how to answer

Alex doesn't really react to Henry's "Once upon a time" even though he's not directly answering Alex's question. He just listens, and that's such a beautiful thing

Nick deserves a round of applause for this scene, his monologue was two minutes long, and monologues are really hard to perform because it's just you who keeps talking, you don't really get to react to other things or people, it's just you, so Nick is a fantastic job

Nick's delivery and tone, and the way he sometimes ends a sentence a bit like a question (ex: "acutely") makes it sound like Henry's been thinking about this story/ metaphor for a while but this is the first time he ever verbalizes it, so while he knows what he wants to talk about thus he doesn't need to pause a lot to think of the story, he does occasionally need to think of the next word or line because again, he never actually said any of this out loud before, and Nick does that so well

@pippin-katz pointed out that Nick misspoke and said "sent the suit a prince of armour" which is hilarious, and while because movie, this shouldn't happen, realistically we all have moments where we mix words up so it almost feels more... authentic? Also, I didn't pick it up but now that Pippin mentioned it I'm really aware of it lmao

Also Henry/Nick's voice here is so soothing? I can almost imagine him telling bedtime stories to his and Alex's kids like this in the future. I wonder if Henry would write children's books because it feels like it'd be something he do and something he could write really well, if this clip is anything to go by. Plus I stumbled across an audio of Nick reading "The Emperor's New Clothes" before (I literally have no context of why he was reading that and it was literally just audio, not sure if I can find it anymore) and it was so soothing and calming that I fell asleep to it one night. Besides the full-cast RWRB audiobook that I'm practically demanding at this point, I wonder if he would be interested in doing more audiobook/narration stuff. He's really got the voice for it

The King sending a suit of armour to protect the prince's heart kind of further proves my point of the King being a much more loving grandparent to Henry than the queen in the book, and him worrying more about Henry himself than the image of the crown. He noticed that 1, Henry is an emotionally sensitive person, 2, Henry is gay, and both of those things could be turned against him easily, and he will get hurt. He does love Henry, just not in a way that's good for Henry. If we get a sequel I do hope we can see them reconcile in one way or another. It'd be a nice example for people in the same positions.

The "Nothing will ever happen to him" line!!!! I wrote a whole essay about Kensington and this line because somehow this line was one of the most powerful ones to me, but to know that it was originally Henry's word just adds another level of pain to the Kensington scene

You can see Henry's face light up when he starts talking about the peasant boy. And Alex's quick eyebrow raise and deep chuckle. It's so beautiful, I wanna cry

We talk about Alex's heart eyes, which, yes, but Henry's look of pure adoration and love at Alex when he says "Truly Alive" makes me want to melt

I yelled a little at Alex when he started to lay back down (as in I verbally shouted "DAMMIT ALEX LOOK AT YOUR MAN") because I felt like if Alex saw Henry's face in the following lines he'd figure out Henry has issues earlier? But then I saw a take saying the shot was framed like theatre where Henry's both centre stage and in the spotlight so the focus is on him, so Alex was designed to lay back down on the timber bench to make the entire space for Henry

Henry's look of sad longing when he talks about the peasant boy pulling apart his armor is heartbreaking

I wonder if this was originally planned to be the changing point from Alex's POV to Henry's POV? Because in that case I do think the lake scene worked better as a changing point

I also wonder how did Henry end the story in his head up to this point? Because as hopefully as the last line is, at this point in the story, Henry still doesn't believe he can keep this

I get why scenes are cut because when you're putting together a movie, there are a lot of things you don't see for individual scenes until you put them together. This is why as much as I want the cast and crew to get the premiere they deserve to have, I don't really want an extended cut of the movie, because things were cut for a good reason

That being said, if the cornetto scene and this scene proved anything, is that the scenes themselves are fascinating, and I WANT THEM ALL

[ofallthingsnasty]

I just remembered that one ridiculously cute thing in uni during the body donor class - for context: we dental students got pooled together with the meds during the pre-clinical semesters a lot, and that class was no different.

We were separated in two main groups, and one body donor was shared between 12 students - coming in from Monday to Thursday. On Fridays, you could come in until 12 and just look at the donors without any supervision, you just needed your coat and name tag. And I remember going in before the situs oral and trying to understand how blood flows through the heart and then one of the meds (super intimidating buff guy) saw me struggle and was like '... Hey do you want me to explain that to you?' and then we sat there - him with a whole heart in hand, explaining it all to me, more than happy to help. Not gonna lie, I had a bit of a crush on that guy for the rest of the semester. We weren't even in the same group, so we never saw each other during prep hours but I always had my eyes peeled for him during lectures haha tw.anatomical stuff (i'm german so if my translations are a little off then i'm sorry hah), cadavers, just fluff

Long story short - I'm thinking about that with Law. You and Chopper are at the same table, come in every Friday to review the material of the week, both a little on the not-so-studious side. (Don't get me wrong, you go to every lecture - but those suckers are two hours long and not the only class you have. It's easy to lose track, especially when all you wanna do is catch up on sleep during the weekends.)

You pull your donor out of the body bag, lay them down and go over your notes, some sessions more and some less successful. The two of you are usually not alone, either - there is always someone else rifling around on their own table. Today it's a guy with a severe expression and some earrings. You've seen him in the lecture hall but you and Chopper aren't in the same group as him, so that's really all you know. You get through this week's lecture notes just fine - until it's time for the heart. The way blood gets fed through the atriums and ventricles, how the pressure changes, systole and diastole, the coronary arteries... You two are feeling beyond lost and so, so close to simply giving up - it's just too much and too intricate (at least for someone who has heard all of that info only once, maybe twice). But then there is also that other student - and maybe, just maybe, he knows more than you two do. It's not unusual to ask - and so that's what you do.

Law can't be assed, actually.

He's reviewing his notes, trying to get his own studying done. He's really not the type to do tutoring, doesn't have the patience for it. But you two are loud - hemming and hawing over your own cadaver and if he has to hear you confuse the mitral valve with the tricuspid one more time, then he's going to get a migraine. What are twenty minutes of his time if it means that you get done with your little idiot session and finally leave the hall? So he sighs and motions you to come closer. He's surprisingly good at explaining. The heart of his donor in one hand, a tissue forceps in the other, he walks you through every fact one would want to know about the organ. You probably have stars in your eyes while he talks because finally, finally you're grasping the material - and really, it might be confusing at first, but it's not that hard. He even lets Chopper regurgitate it all to him and has the two of you giggling over it. Law is just glad you two morons are finally having your little eureka moment because it means that you'll be off in a matter of minutes.

But no good deed goes unpunished.

It's then that you notice his tattoos through the nitrile gloves and suddenly he's the most fascinating living guy around (the most fascinating guy is dead on table 5, with golf ball sized cysts in his liver, sorry Law). He gets bombarded with questions, you and Chopper all over him, way too loud, too excited, too fucking annoying. He's already regretting his little act of charity.

And not only do you have the audacity to ask him to explain fetal circulation (because, please, please it's so confusing) as well, no, from that moment on, you're all over him very goddamn Friday and he's been added to three different group chats the moment Chopper and you leave the hall.

[electrikworm]

A peaceful moment

Relationships: Omega & Wrecker & Tech

Content Warnings: Chronic Pain, Past Child Abuse (vaguely mentioned)

Summary:

After getting the Marauder back and leaving Ipsidon, Wrecker's abnormally quiet. At first, Omega thinks he's upset about the argument he and Tech had, but she soon discovers the uncomfortable truth about the side effects Wrecker's enhancements have.

Word count: 2,140

Read on Ao3

Since they'd gotten the Marauder back and left Ipsidon, Wrecker hasn't moved from his spot on the lowest sleeping rack. As soon as they'd boarded the ship, he took off his armor and laid down facing the wall. He's got one of those thin blankets distributed to clone troopers pulled up high. Omega can only just see the top of his head from where she's peeking out behind the curtain separating what's been designated as her room from the rest of the ship.

Wrecker likes to sleep. Definitely more than Tech or Hunter do. Sometimes it seems like they don't sleep at all. This isn't normal though, he's barely said a word to anyone, hasn't reacted to anyone walking past either. Omega tried walking past him a few times just to check.

Wrecker doesn't look like he's sleeping anyway. He's too still, and when he does move, he moves too coordinated to be asleep. His breathing hasn't evened out either.

Why is he just laying there? Is something wrong? Something has to be wrong...

Is he mad at Tech?

After the Havoc Marauder got stolen, the two of them were fighting a lot, maybe that's why Wrecker's not talking to anyone. Omega climbs down from her room and walks up to Wrecker for the seventh time since they took off. Like the six times before, he doesn't react.

“Wrecker?” Omega asks, carefully placing a hand on Wreckers shoulder. The twitch in response to the touch is so subtle, Omega can barely feel it through the blanket.

“Hmm?” He sounds unfocused, tired. From where she's standing now, Omega can just about tell that the one of his eyes she can see is closed. Maybe he really was sleeping?

“Are you mad at Tech?” Omega asks. Wrecker doesn't say anything for a moment, then he laughs. It's not nearly as loud as it usually is.

“M'not mad at Tech. Jus' tired.” The way his voice slurs, he really does sound tired.

“Okay.” Omega says, not ready to drop this yet. She can't shake the feeling that something is wrong. Wrecker doesn't seem very talkative, so Omega expands her investigation to the cockpit, where she knows she'll find Tech and Hunter.

As the door to the room slides open, it seems she's interrupted a passive conversation the two were having. Tech's sitting in the pilots chair, eyes trained on the datapad in his hands, Hunter was looking out into hyperspace, but turns to look at Omega when he notices her presence. He smiles slightly.

“Do you need something?” he asks.

“Tech, are you mad at Wrecker?” That makes Tech look up from his work.

“I'm not mad at him.” he states matter-of-factly. Hunter glances at Tech, then back at Omega.

“We were all frustrated by an unfortunate situation. I'm sure there are no lasting hard feelings.” Hunter says. Tech nods courtly in agreement.

“I was simply pointing out that the Marauder being stolen was Wreckers fault, as he was the sole person on watch.” Tech adds before Omega can process the new information. She isn't the slightest bit closer to figuring out what's wrong with Wrecker.

“Then why's Wrecker just been lying there since we took off?” Omega asks, pointing through the doorway leading to the rest of the ship. Hunters eyebrows draw together at that.

“The whole time?” He sounds concerned. Omega nods.

“His chronic pain is most likely flaring up.” says Tech.

“Chronic pain?” Omega asks. Of course she knows what that is, but she had never considered it in Wrecker's context. Nala Se had never mentioned it, neither had Wrecker.

“Yes, an unfortunate side effect of his enhancements.” Tech says, then sighs. “I should have predicted that it would rear it's ugly head. Wrecker put a lot of strain on his body during our involuntarily extended stay on Ipsidon.”

Omega cringes at the memory of the last day. No wonder Wrecker's having a rough time.

“I will check on him.” Tech says, stretching as he stands up. He glances at Hunter before continuing. “Your presence is likely to be beneficial, Omega. It would be appreciated if you accompanied me.”

Omega nods. She planned to go along anyway.

Wrecker's exactly were she left him, still laying on his side, motionless. Omega leans over him, trying to see his face.

“Wrecker?” His eyes open sluggishly, exhaustion marring his expression. He still smiles when he sees Omega.

“Need somethin'?” he says.

Omega shakes her head at the same time Tech huffs and shakes his head. “The one that needs something is you. How many times do we have to remind you to say something if you're experiencing issues?”

“I'm not experiencing issues. 'm fine.”

“You are not.” Tech states. “Will you let me look at your back?”

Wrecker sighs. “Fine.” Good. Omega almost thought they were going to argue again.

Tech stops Wrecker from sitting up by placing a hand on his shoulder. “I can work like this just fine.” Omega watches closely as Tech removes the blanket from Wrecker's upper body and starts pushing up the top half of his under-shirt.

Omega grimaces when she sees the deep bruises littering the exposed skin. Most of them look to be from the creatures he was run over by. Tech runs his hand along Wrecker's spine carefully, expression pinched in concentration. Wrecker inhales sharply, flinching away from the touch.

“Apologies.” Tech withdraws his hand. Wrecker lifts his arm gingerly to wave Tech off. The way he's moving is worrying Omega. “Are you bothered by the bruises or-”

Wrecker interrupts Tech. “The bruises are fine, s'just my back that's the problem.”

“I thought as much.” Tech says, readjusting his goggles. “Omega, could you get the medkit for me?”

Omega sprints off, familiar with where the box is stored now. Her brothers, and occasionally her, seem to need it a lot. They've told her that they always got injured a lot, but Omega isn't entirely sure they're not just saying that to make her feel better. If Omega wasn't with them, her brothers would be hiding somewhere remote like the Lawquane family is. Tech thanks Omega when she returns with the medkit.

He takes something out of the medkit Omega's not seen them use before. It's a type of patch, similar in size to a bacta patch, but the packaging is different.

“That's not part of standard medkits.” Omega says.

“Astute observation.” Tech says as he applies the patch to Wrecker's upper back. Wrecker flinches again when Tech smooths it down, but seems to relax a little after. “They are heat patches, and were never distributed to soldiers. Upon learning that heat decreases the pain Wrecker experiences regularly, we made sure to have some on hand at all times.”

“How do they work?” Omega asks, leaning to look at the one stuck to Wrecker's back. Tech's already unpacking a second, placing that one of the lower part of Wrecker's back.

“When activated, an exothermic chemical reaction is triggered within the patch.” Tech takes a moment to study Omega's face, likely trying to tell if she'd understood what he said. She does, so she smiles at her brother.

“Okay.” Omega says, moving to crouch near Wrecker's head again.

“I will be giving you a dose of painkillers Wrecker. Consider this your warning.” Tech says, producing a hypo from the medkit.

“No.” Wrecker says firmly, voice surprisingly clear. He's covering his neck with his hand. Omega still hasn't figured out what Wrecker's issue with needles is. She's not sure she wants to know.

“Cease being difficult, kih'vod.” Tech sighs. “You are aware the neck isn't the only area medication is administered, right?”

Wrecker lets out a frustrated groan. “I don't need it Tech. 'm fine.”

“The way you have been acting since we left Ipsidon begs to differ.”

“We haven't got a lot of medical supplies left, and they're not cheap. No point using more than necessary.”

Tech shakes his head. “I deem it necessary. And after that mission, I say you deserve it.” When Wrecker just grumbles, Tech gives Omega a look.

“Please Wrecker.” Omega says, making him turn his head to look at her better. “I don't like seeing you hurt.”

Wrecker's expression has a sadness to it as he pauses to think. He sighs as he lets his hand drop away from his neck. “Fine.”

Tech smiles at Omega as he disinfects an area on Wrecker's neck. Wrecker's visibly shaking as he anticipates the needle piercing his skin. Tech warns Wrecker again before pressing the hypo to his neck.

Once Tech's got the painkillers in their brother, he tidies the medkit and makes to leave. “Keep an eye on him.” He says to Omega. She nods in response. She'll keep an eye on him like her life depends on it.

As the pain medication takes hold, Omega can see the lines on Wrecker's face soften. “Should I get Lula?” She asks once she's sure the painkillers have started working right.

Wrecker smiles tiredly. “Yeah, I'd like that a lot.”

When Omega returns, she tucks the stuffed tooka into her brothers arms, carefully pulling the blanket back over his shoulders.

“Thanks 'mega.” Wrecker says. Omega sits on the floor next to him.

“Are you in pain a lot?” Omega asks after a moment of silence.

“It's not that bad, kid.” The way he sounds doesn't make Omega very confident in the words he's saying. “It's always been this way, I'm used to it.”

“That doesn't make it any better...”

Wrecker sighs. “Look Omega, they did a lot of tests, experiments, on us when we were kids. They're the reason I'm strong the way I am today. I'm fine with a bit of pain if it's a side effect of making me a useful part of this squad.” Wrecker puts a hand on Omega's shoulder gently. It can't be comfortable to do so from the angle he's laying at.

“How bad is it?”

“The pain?” Wrecker asks. Omega nods again. “Depends. Some days it's fine, other's it's like this. You don't have to worry about it Omega.”

Omega doesn't say anything for a moment. She grew up knowing bits and pieces of the experiments done on her brothers, even helped with some. She never knew the downsides they had.

“Do the others have problems too?” She's not sure she wants to know, but avoiding the truth doesn't help anyone. Wrecker seems to hesitate for a moment.

“Yeah.” He says sadly. “Different from me. Tech and Hunter get a lot of awful headaches and Crosshair...” Wrecker suddenly goes very quiet. “Crosshair has problems with his eyes.”

Neither of them say anything for a moment.

“Best you just ask them.” Wrecker eventually continues. “They can give you a better answer.”

Omega would like to ask them now, but she won't leave Wrecker alone. She feels like she should say something, but can't think of anything. Instead, she tries to think about What Nala Se told her about her brother's enhancements.

She remembers various operations and experiments mentioned, but not all of them made it out of the planning stage. Nala Se let her watch some of the procedures, but usually only through a pane of transparisteel.

Realization hits Omega as she remembers seeing one of the experiments done on Wrecker. “They injected something into you're back, right?” Omega asks. Wrecker cringes at the mention and nods. “Nala Se never told me what it was...”

“You and me both kid.” Wrecker says with a sigh.

“Is that why you don't like needles?”

Wrecker pulls a face. “It's... one of the reasons.”

“I'm sorry.” Omega puts her hand on Wrecker's.

“What for?”

Omega shrugs. “I guess the experiments. And the side effects of them.”

“Don't be. It's what we were made for.”

“Still doesn't seem right...” Omega wishes her brothers didn't have to suffer just because of the way they were made.

Wrecker's eyes look earnest as he speaks. “Ad'ika, my heads too fuzzy from the stuff Tech gave me to be talking about this. I know things don't always make sense, they didn't make sense to me all the time either. But can we continue the conversation another time?”

Omega's fine with that. She'd like all her brothers involved in that conversation anyway, so they'll have to wait for Echo to be back. “Okay. Can I talk about something else though?”

Wrecker laughs quietly. “I'd love nothing more Omega.”

So Omega start talking, not really sure what she's saying half the time. She talks about the mission, and about things Tech told her that he's definitively already told Wrecker. She talks about anything really, not really sure whether she's doing it to distract Wrecker or herself. Her brother doesn't seem to mind.

At some point, Wrecker appears to fall asleep. Omega keeps talking quietly, hoping that his rest is peaceful.

[spinnerprincess]

Tales of Arise: Beyond the Dawn personal summary

(lots of negativity ahead, so just scroll on past if you're looking for fun tales of arise content in the tag please!)

Auuuuugggggggghhhh it's such a relief to be done. Okay.

Dear future Liz: don't replay this DLC. I know you might be curious and you might not want to let go of the characters after a replay of the base game, but don't do it. It's not worth it. It's simply not.

If you really feel like you want to play the DLC, read this instead of doing that. I'm serious and I'm going to lay out just about as many impressions as I possibly can so that you don't have to.

Nazamil

Nazamil is just... such a miss. It's actually impressive how well they managed to make such an obvious Shionne/Alphen kiddo stand-in feel so, so frustrating.

She's a teenage girl who has a really hamfisted abusive past plotline. She's half-Dahnan, so her Renan Lord father, the guy who preceded Vholran, hated her. We're introduced to this idea with Nazamil straight up saying out loud to the party "he would come into my room and hit me." No subtlety, no abusive child mindset, she just states this soullessly and everyone goes "wow that's awful" and that's it.

They get to know her for all of like, a week or two, while treating her as the most specialest girl in the world, and continue for the rest of the DLC to treat her like they've known her forever and grew a really close and important bond with her.

Rinwell can't stop talking about how she wants to be friends with Nazamil, to the extent of having no real content or character arc in the DLC because all her time is taken up by that.

When Nazamil's missing, they keep talking nostalgically about her. "Remember that meal we had with her?" "Remember the first time she smiled?" It's surreal. You barely knew her!

There's a point in the game where Alphen generally acts like people's treatment of Nazamil is or should be representative of how successful the complete and absolute integration of Renan and Dahnan society is. Sure, he's stressed out, but... what?

For another example, in the final dungeon, there are secret posters of all six of the cast members to find, which they all find super touching.

Those drawings are clearly inheritors of the Tales tradition of "badly drawn wanted posters" but the context just kinda makes them... bad. Everybody is like "wow, Nazamil's so talented!" and they're just... Not very good! They're fine, but they're not amazing! They're a kid's art!

Glitz says, the posters feel like they're writing for a theoretical invisible player who is young enough to worry that their friends or family wouldn't like their art. It mostly doesn't really feel like how adults or people in general would respond to art. It has a really weird energy.

One good exchange does come out of finding Dohalim's drawing, though. It goes like:

Dohalim: "It's rough work, but it's an accurate depiction." Kisara: "She even drew you tilting your head the way you do sometimes." Dohalim: "Huh, I didn't think anybody but you would ever notice that."

Like, these lines are so good. Best thing to come out of anything Nazamil does, ever.

But that's one tiny good part when the rest feels so awkward and forced. The game needs you to know that Nazamil really loves them and they really love her back, and uh... tells you this, all the time. Perhaps because there would be no reason to believe it if they didn't!

She bonds so hard to these six people as the first people to ever show her a speck of kindness. Except they aren't, Baephon is, but we need Alphen to have a person to have complicated feelings about!

Every beat in the plot and all the others' characterizations bend around her. Alphen struggling with his role as a hero is fine, but at one point in defense of her he draws his full-ass blazing sword power on a bunch of regular human chumps and threatens them while dealing massive damage to part of their city. It just doesn't feel right for him at all and was genuinely fucked up.

She has scary hollowing powers. This comes up once as a problem because it frightens Niez citizens. Then it's never addressed again.

Once we get past the point where she leaves the group, for really thin reasons, she goes off on her own wanting to make the world more peaceful for Alphen. She decides to do this by uhhhhhhh going to the Mausoleums, discovering the Suppressor masks (like the one Alphen wore at the start of the base game), and launching a project to create them en masse and distribute them to everybody on the entire planet. That way, nobody will ever think their own thoughts again and all differences between people will be erased. This is what Alphen wants, right?

Actually, Alphen never gets to even once have an emotion about this whole Suppressor mask business, come to think of it. You know. The guy who wore one for much of his life and much of the base game? They just... don't have him react at all? What??

Oh by the way, she maybe can read minds and she read the minds of the Helganquil maybe, which is how she learned about the keystone (fancy mausoleum controlling all other ones). This is also never addressed again.

She goes full creepy little girl mode the first time the party confronts her about this, which was actually kind of fun for half a second because it wasn't the expected angle. I expected more of an "everybody hates me so I'm going to eliminate all hate" angle but that comes later. Specifically, her motivation is entirely centered around "if everybody thinks like me, then everybody will like you guys, too." Which is a slightly fun twist on that.

Unfortunately right after that part, deciding to take Alphen and the crew's words as "they hate me" instead of the things they're actually saying ("please don't brainwash people"), she puts on a fancy controlling mask that takes her mind over, too. She expresses wanting to erase herself.

From that point forward, the fact that possibly hundreds of people have been harmed by Nazamil's decision to impose mind-control masks on them is barely addressed again.

Instead, the focus is on how "we didn't properly understand Nazamil's pain and this is our fault." Sometimes it dips into better rhetoric, but mostly it's just... taking on her bad mental health as our fault, while simultaneously ignoring the harm she's done. Because she's the real victim, I guess.

The game ends with some textbook shiny light shows with a big boss fight against her while we try to tell her we actually love her and want her to be who she is, and not who others tell her to be... Never mind that ultimately, it doesn't seem like Nazamil has actually been told what she should be by anyone? That has never been her problem? They have just hated her, which is different?

Just before you think it's done doing gross things with her character, they also have her transform into a final-final boss monster by way of a classic Tales violence against women scene. She screams a lot (a lot) while dark magic transforms her into a massive beast, making it clear that the transformation is torturous and grotesque. Cool. I don't like this character but that still doesn't mean I want to see a teenage girl in massive amounts of pain for no reason. Awesome. Say hi, Estelle from Tales of Vesperia, we haven't learned a thing.

Also??? Some of those final lines feel. Targeted? Like I can't say for sure that they are, but playing some DLC released post-COVID that has Shionne saying things like "I want you to take off your mask and talk to me face-to-face" is... not apolitical, perhaps... Mm. It didn't feel that way most of the time at least but I do want to mention it.

I really wish in all this that Nazamil had a single personality trait. There could be, in something better written, something to be said for how you can't be yourself under threat of abuse, but they just don't earn it. At all.

Oh, right, she does have one trait, I forgot. She likes drawing. My bad.

Glitz wants me to add that that "you can't be yourself under threat of abuse" was already done interestingly with the part where Vholran takes Shionne and you have to confront her thorns about it. The ways that abuse and neglect can create isolation, and you way you can build a cage around yourself because of it... This is such a worse rehashing of that!!!

So, yeah. If you're a cute enough girl, never mind the mass brainwashing, oppression, and war crimes you do because you're hurt: you can just be yourself! What's accountability?

It's a far weaker recovery from suicidality plotline than Harvestella and a far weaker I fucked up and need to learn to be myself better without you than Rapunzel (Cassandra). It feels gross and cheapening of both concepts, and does it all at the expense of the main cast being able to just... exist without suddenly having their entire world revolve around someone they've known for three seconds.

Ugh. Ugh ugh ugh. The worst part is I might well have forgotten yet another bad part of all this, because of how bad so much of it was.

Sidequests

Some good, some bad.

TLDR on the cities, especially for if you ever need to write fic:

Pelegion: mostly Renan, Dahnans exist but are struggling. Dohalim is in charge and trying to slowly integrate the Renans into society and life there. Major WIP though. Dohalim's NPC friends are here and they're kinda cute.

Viscint: Wonderful A+ 10/10. Kisara and Lagill's group are in charge and trying to keep peace. They have an application process to live there because it's popular for a good amount of food, weather, and peace. Renans and Dahnans both are only permitted to move in if they're willing to sincerely try coexistence. Not perfect and overcrowded, but doing the best by far. (Joke: also Dohalim legalized gay marriage there)

Niez: Explicitly segregated between half Renan and half Dahnan, and having a really bad time of it. Poor Baephon.

Calaglia: Had such a bad time of slavery that for the most part they're just not permitting Renans, sending them on to Pelegion. Slowly recovering and may have more ability to farm in the future.

Cyslodia: Had such a bad time of informant problems that they couldn't handle Renans if they tried; they're still all suspicious of each other as it is. There's a quest where one idea for helping with the social climate is the get everybody drunk and talk about the trauma collectively. This is not a bit, it really happens, you provide supplies for it. Kinda funny.

Most of this is built up through sidequests of varying quality. The best random sidequest is probably from Cyslodia, where it turns out a former Snake has a Renan friend who's been living outside the city walls, and they ask Alphen to go look for him because he knows Alphen has Renan friends and might care. They're two adorable little NPC guys who should date.

Unfortunately some quests just go a little too hard on the whole "wow, it's hard for Renans not to treat Dahnans like slaves" or "wow, Dahnans sure do want to do violence to Renans because they were slaves" stuff. Which... some of it is fair and fine, but it's just a lot worse than the base game for those attitudes.

Marriage Plotline

A throughline of EX Quests lays out that Alphen wants to marry Shionne. Some parts of this plotline are cute, but unfortunately, all of them fall short of the cuteness and excellent relationship already depicted in the base game.

They just consist of Alphen going around "researching marriage" for "no particular reason." He enlists the help of the party, always leaving somebody on Shionne distraction duty. There's an accompanying set of diaries where Shionne worries that everyone is doing this because they found out her secret. Late in the questline she reveals that her "secret" is something everybody already knows: she always sneaks a full plate of food while cooking for everyone. (And then has seconds later, but they're actually thirds.) But it turns out it wasn't that, and it was just Alphen feeling clueless about marriage things like weddings, homes, decorations, etc.

If you complete these quests you get a scene at the end where they fade to black on Alphen clearly proposing to Shionne. They couldn't even write it?

It's not awful, but it's just not worth it given how bad the rest of the DLC is. The base game's ending cutscenes, kiss, and cute post-game artwork more than do the work here.

One more thing... Traslida Highway: canonically this is where Alphen and Shionne build a house and live. Alphen clears out a huge boar zeugle to make future space for it. It's a lovely spot with little cobblestone walls and fields, with Viscint visible in the distance. It's around the corner from the ranch. I love it for them.

Character Quests

Everybody got some extra character quests! They were... fine.

Law and Rinwell have some cute moments, but unfortunately most of it is overshadowed by ship teasing that cheapens their characters. Law still can't avoid being overly teased by everyone, and it definitely grates after a while.

Shionne's was fine. It kind of established that she might love to sell and especially share donuts or other food someday, which is cute for her.

Alphen's was slightly interesting, having him reckon with his role as a hero to Dahnans and a destroyer to Renans, and have to face that he just needs to move past their expectations and do what he wants for himself. It wasn't super well handled, but I think the broad strokes are interesting and play well with his intrinsic kindness when they aren't about Nazamil.

The highlight is definitely Kisara and Dohalim. Not their character quests per se, which are alright, but in general in the DLC they have some really fun stuff going on.

Dohalim stepped up to lead Pelegion so somebody who isn't a huge asshole could be in charge, but he doesn't love it or want to do it forever. Meanwhile Kisara has been leading Viscint, but a handful of the Renans living there still respect Dohalim more and call him Lord Dohalim. So it can sometimes be a tricky dynamic for both of them.

They have this really fun, flirty close vibe. If they're not watching their words they admit constantly to knowing each other super well. They have extended metaphors around caring for each other's cities and people and what will happen when their obligations are met.

At one point, Dohalim pleadingly looks to Kisara and asks, "Will you someday call me Do again?" and she says more or less, "Yes, of course, but after things are better with our cities." Tease, tease.

My strongest interpretation remains that they slept together on that one night before base game endgame, but haven't really done anything together since. But like... they're gonna. Super fun dynamic.

A lot of larger main party interactions are cute in the DLC, when they're not being tainted by Nazamil coming first. Unfortunately that's not as common as I'd like.

Everyone is very pretty. Abuse the power of color changes on accessories; it's better than in other games.

Combat and Final Dungeon

Combat is fun because it's just an abbreviated part of the base game, basically.

The last dungeon is kinda super fun in parts, a little undercooked in others. The fire palace area was gorgeous and several of the staircase views are stunning. But the wind and water areas felt especially weak, and the light area was clearly cut entirely for content. It felt like a fun classic Tales EX dungeon for all of one section. Sigh.

In summary, future Liz, don't play the Beyond the Dawn DLC again, you just don't need to. The bad parts do not make the good parts worth it at all.

But, one final gift to you. If for some godforsaken reason you do play this DLC again, when you're done, go to the Berg Volcano for a final skit as the very, very last thing to do. It's a cute skit called "Beyond the Dawn." I like it as a final note very much.

[sweet-s0rr0w]

hello, might you have any excerpts to share, either something new or a beloved passage of an old fic?

Hello lovely kind person, and thank you so much for messaging me!! Now this ask was sent during the Great AO3 Outage which means that I am drastically late with it, and I am afraid I don't have anything to new share at present (I've just started working on a longfic, which if the stars align I might submit for a fest next summer, so I can't post an excerpt on here), BUT I was just talking to @sitp-recs about the three fics I've written this year, and how I think that I'm finally getting more comfortable at writing smut, so in celebration of that I'm going to offer up a porny little snippet from my Dronarry fest fic, Silhouettes.

(for context, the fic is established Ron/Harry)

“What,” Ron says to Draco, letting his chin rest on Harry’s shoulder, “have you changed your mind, then?”

Draco steps into the room, eyes flashing and – it’s amazing, Harry thinks, how well Ron understands Draco, how cleverly he lays down a challenge, appealing to Draco’s deep-rooted need for approval. Draco’s gaze meets Harry’s, lingering for a second, then drops lower – lighting on Ron’s hand, the covetous way it’s splayed across Harry’s stomach – then lower, and lower still.

“Fuck,” Draco breathes, and for a split second Harry wants to run, wants to cover himself – damn, it’s been so long – but Ron’s arm just tightens around him, holding him in place as though for Draco to drink his fill. Harry knows he’s blushing under the scrutiny, but he can feel his cock responding all the same.

“Undress him,” Ron tells Harry, nodding at Draco, who steps forwards wordlessly, unfolding his arms so Harry can comply. Harry’s hands feel heavy, his movements clumsy – and grow clumsier still when Ron begins toying with his nipples, one and then the other, tweaking them hard enough to make Harry cry out. Ron presses his body up tight against Harry’s, cock full and insistent against the small of Harry’s back, and now Harry’s dragging Draco’s belt from its loops, tossing it aside, desperate to get his hands back on Draco’s skin. The first brush of Harry’s fingers beneath his waistband has Draco jerking forwards, Harry’s cock smearing precome all over the front of his expensive trousers, and it’s too much already, Harry thinks, driven almost out of his mind, liquid want in Ron’s arms.

When he’s finished exposing the evidence of Draco’s desire, Harry reaches out, running a finger along his collarbone, pressing his hand over the flush that’s bleeding slowly down his torso. But when he leans forwards, eyes fixed on Draco’s lips once more, Ron’s hand is firm against his chest.

“On the bed, Malfoy,” Ron says.

“Sod off, Weasel,” Draco mumbles, but he obeys all the same, sprawling back atop their duvet: a tableau he’s well acquainted with, except this time Ron’s standing behind him, and Draco’s turning his face into Ron’s pillow, inhaling deeply, and it’s so fucking hot that Harry can hardly breathe.

“Now you,” Ron tells him, applying just a hint of pressure to the curve of Harry’s spine. He climbs onto the bed until Draco’s laid out beneath him, lean and elegant, uncharacteristically defenceless.

“Good idea, d’you reckon, Harry?” Ron says, joining them on the bed. His voice is teasing, pitched easily loud enough for Draco to hear, and Harry can only groan in response, mind a roaring confusion, leaning forwards to fan his hands out over Draco’s stomach.

[angelsaxis]

There's always that struggle I have with taking critiques with a grain of salt. I try to be understanding and I may put too much weight on someone else's perspective specifically because it's not mine. But you know. This one critiquer who frequently told me I lacked subtext. And the one time I apparently had achieved it in my writing was when Arvin and Tibe were arguing about trying to get the former to eat more, and Tibe asks Arvin who it was the decided his incredibly small meals are appropriate, implying that it was Arvins mom who controlled his meals (which was correct). And they were like "yes!!! Subtext!!!"

And I scratched my head. Because I've been doing that. Not through quotes as much but through body language and general behavior. Arvin is afraid of his mom and the first thought he has about Chima when he sees her is "she reminds me of my mother" and then he tries to avoid her for as long as possible. There's a double motive to every act of kindness tibe does for arvin. I don't say it out loud ofc bc I frankly. Don't think I need to.

"why does Arvin do X" because his ultimate goal in life is to please his mom "but why" she's abusive and controlling and she's isolated him socially for 18 years and controls everything from who he talks to to what he's even able to eat. He's 18 and he's never been anywhere without his mother and the first thing he hopes to ask for from his parents (his mother) is to travel on his own and his fear in that moment is that he'll be genuinely yelled at for eating dessert before dinner.

I'm not the best writer but I lay all of this out almost verbatim in the first chapter. First chapter. I don't like dialogue and I prefer distilled quotes to lengthy ones so perhaps this is why this person was insisting that I guess every character just says what's on their mind all the time? Supposedly? Even though they also don't do that? Like were they hoping that more of the characters would just lie or be passive aggressive or something (both of which people do). Like I'm so confused. Critiquers can say important and correct things but they also like to critique in a way where they're telling you what THEY like to see and this isn't the first and certainly won't be the last time I get a vague or incomplete critique from someone. Mind you this person could not figure out social ranking at ALL a common critique from them "why doesn't X character say (wildly inappropriate thing given social ranking an context and familiarity)" like girl come on. "Why does Arvins dad treat him like this" the man who's a distant alcoholic and serial cheater??? You're asking why that man isn't nice to his family????

"why is drei mean to arvin" oh the brother with the alcohol issues and the loyalty issues and the ego issues? Why isn't he perfectly nice to arvin 100% of the time? But then when Arvins aunt is nice to him that's a problem because now he's not learning. But also also when Drei actually does help Arvin in multiple present if subtle ways that just doesn't ping your radar. Make up your MIND.

[bismuth-209]

additions as a middle class dutch person with parents who were among the first in their families to go to university, and grew up in a christian environment in a city in the netherlands. for like, cultural context

most of what i read here is how i was raised, although like. usually there was some confusion about what to do with napkins if they were out. like for a proper dinner party for christmas or some such, you'd lay the table with the napkins and then people would kind of. leave them there until they need it for something, and some people did the thing of putting it on your lap as "i heard this is what you're supposed to do"

regarding tour of the house: as a kid i always got one the first time i went over to someone's house, especially if it was to play with my friend who lived there, as their room would be upstairs, and then all the other rooms are pointer out and their function is indicated, and whether i would be allowed to go in there if i wanted.

but also if going to someone's house for a birthday party, the majority of the time would be spent in the living room downstairs but we'd be taken upstairs to see the layout of the house and our friend's room

specific example, my best friend as a kid had her room on the first floor (above ground floor), we'd play in there usually, as best friend i also was allowed to go into the computer room on the first floor, and i was taken to the second floor/attic on my first visit to just. see it. and then go down to the first floor to play

that's not considered super important etiquette though, and there's situations where you'd not do that at all, like larger parties

but one thing considered very important to our family is that the guests get their food first

we sit down at dinner, we pray. if we have a non-christian guest we usually pray silently, if our guest is christian someone, usually the parent, prays, a relatively standard prayer that involves thanking for the food, and because of the guest, also thanks that they can be there that day. if it's a birthday party, the prayer will be like "thank You for the food, and [name] being able to have another birthday, and our guests being able to be here. amen"

prayer is silent if there's non christians because we consider it impolite to force others to pray with us but we also do want to do it. at camp and such where not everyone is christian, a moment of silence is held for people who want to pray before meals, but doing it out loud is rude. also in restaurants my family opts for silence

after the prayer the serving spoon or whatever is usually handed to the guest or birthday person in our household, if there's both one guest and a birthday person there is lighthearted disagreement about what takes precedence

a lot of people will just serve the guest first themselves, and that's also considered polite. it's just that my family is mostly audhd and we have very specific opinions on how food should be placed on a plate and how much food.

but the main thing is that the first person to have food on their plate is the guest / birthday person

if there's 1 or 2 hosts and you're among the first guests to arrive, or the only, it's normal to start talking in the kitchen while the cooking is happening. also i have experienced the start of a dinner party being like. the female guests are mostly in the kitchen talking to the female host who is cooking, although likely they're not helping (but they do offer probably, but it's declined cordially), and her husband is in the living room entertaining most of the male guests

but times are a bit more varied these days

also eating isn't supposed to happen until everyone has got food on their plate, same for eating cake. at a regular birthday party it may take 20 minutes between the cake being brought out and everyone having a slice but you're meant to wait

I do not have Boy Knowledge to trade, but can I ask for dinner party hosting tips???

Sure!

I grew up broke but the great-grandparents passed on all their old etiquette, so *fart noise* got a lot of old fashioned shit kickin around, this is what we'd do

PREP:

Clean the house in advance. And not just common areas- the whole place. Minimum the kitchen, living room, bathroom, entrance. Take out all the trash, no dirty dishes, scrub out the toilet. (This is less vital with super casual close friends and family.)

Have snacks ready before arrival. Ask in advance about any allergies and accommodate. Same for actual food.

Aim for business-casual clothing. Jeans are okay if they're well-fitted and clean, with no holes, but nothing acid-wash. Sleeveless shirts should be at least three fingers wide, typically women-only but fuck gender conformity I don't give a shit.

Put coffee or the kettle on a minute or two before you expect people to arrive. Coffee should be fresh and kettle should be boiled around the same time folks arrive.

Have a place for people to put their coats and shoes. An area rug works for shoes, ans if you don't have a coat rack or closet for jackets it's handy to have a bedroom cleaned out and a bed made so people can keep coats, scarves, bags, and purses somewhere.

In some cultures cooking doesn't start until guests arrive. The way I was raised, cooking starts much earlier, and things should be coming out of the oven after they've been there a few minutes and had time to chat.

Set the table before guests arrive: Typical setting when I was younger was matching placemats at every seat, plate next. Fork on the left, knife and then spoon on the right. Wine glass on the right, saucer on the right, cup on saucer for hot drinks. Cloth napkin under the spoon and knife on the right, unless rolled with a napkin ring, in which case it could be set at the top of the plate, on the plate, or on the right hand side. Salt, pepper, and a butter dish is to be set out- one of each for every four to six seats is a decent rule of thumb.

DURING:

Guests are expected to announce themselves by knocking or ringing the bell. When this happens, usually a younger member of the family is sent to answer the door and let them in. Hosts follow shortly after, and hugs and greetings take place. The host offers to take people's coats and bags, or otherwise indicates where they can be placed. Shoes come off and are left at the door.

Tour of the house. This doesn't happen every time, but a quick, "let me show you around" may happen if you expect to be there a full day or longer, or if someone needs to politely stall for time, or if the host is especially happy to have you there or to show you something. This usually skips bedrooms, but a nod will usually be given to indicate adult's rooms, and kid's rooms may be peeked at to show off or do introductions with small children.

Offering seats. Usually starts in the living room, where, "can I get you anything?" Is asked. Options usually include wine, beer, water, some kind of juice, coffee, or tea. Possibly ginger ale or cola, but not usually much in the way of sodas.

At this point, a tray of cookies, biscuits, crackers, or other small snacks might be set our to be shared. Here, it's polite to eat a little and join in on smalltalk.

Dinner. When food is ready to come out of the oven, someone in the host's home will announce that dinner is ready, and guests and hosts will relocate to the dinner table and pick seats. (If there is not enough room at the dinner table for everybody, children's plates will be set at a folding table elsewhere, or in the vacated living room area.)

Some hosts will have guests line up in the kitchen and serve their own food one at a time. The way I was taught, hosts bring food and serving utensils to the table and sit once everything is placed. Dishes are then passed in a circle from person to person as people fill their own plates. It is generally assumed that you will take your portion in such volume that everyone else can receive the same amount as you, or more.

Meal usually includes a meat-based dish, a starch like rice or potato, one to three vegetable dishes, and a bread like a bun or roll that may be buttered.

It is here preferred that you ask for something to be passed rather than reach over food. "Could you pass me the..." or "may I borrow the ..." are good ways to ask.

Elbows stay off the table. You may rest your forearms on the edge if you like, depending on how formal we're talking, but no elbows.

Napkin is spread out flat on your lap to catch anything that may drop or spill. Some people may choose to tuck I into their shirt collar to protect their suit or tie, but I've only really ever seen old folks do that, or people doing it to babies and small children.

It is polite to eat everything on your plate, especially if you served yourself. Once everyone has eaten their plate, seconds may be offered or mentioned. It's considered rude to go in for second servings if others haven't finished their firsts yet. This is a good place for conversation to pick up.

Once everyone is finished eating, a member of the hosts' house (usually a kid, sometimes a volunteer guest assisting) will clear the table, gathering empty plates and such from the guests and taking them to the kitchen to be cleaned. Drinks might be refilled now, and dessert forks or spoons might be brought in.

Dessert usually happens. While the meal itself is traditionally homemade, it is perfectly normal for dessert to be store-bought.

The serving of dessert is much less communal than dinner. The person dishing dessert will normally take a stack of plates and send a runner (again, usually a kid) to take stock of who wants dessert and carry theirs to them.

After dessert, dishes will again be gathered and removed, with the exception of cups. Coffee and tea is customary at this point, and alcohol will disappear. This is when conversation comes back in full swing- talking and unwinding is the goal here, and letting any liquor digest so drivers who may have had a sip will be safe to drive afterwards.

END:

Someone will sigh and take note of the time. This is different depending on the group, but a second round of hugs will be in order. Farewells will be made at the door. If there are plenty of leftovers, the host may insist the guest take some. Borrowed dishes and containers will ostensibly be returned at a casual future meeting, possibly as an excuse to meet up and chat over coffee.

It is polite of the guest to offer a hand with cleaning up. It is polite of the host to insist they not. If they are an acquaintance or someone to be impressed, the guest will not be allowed to help clean unless they make it clear that offense will be taken otherwise. If they're a close friend or family member, they may be accepted with some minimal pushback.

The host might start cleaning while the guest is still at the table. This is not intended as an insult.

It is polite to leave around the same time that children begin getting ready for best- usually around 8, 8:30, 9-9:30 on special occasions.

If the weather is especially terrible, or driving conditions are poor, the host might offer the guest a bed for the night. If this is done, it is best to fetch them clean sheets and blankets, a fresh towel, and whatever else they might need. They will be expected to stay no later than breakfast the following morning, unless further plans have been agreed upon. An especially prepared host might have a spare set of pajamas (close friends and family only, usually) and a new toothbrush ready for use.

I think that's everything? A lot of it is weird unspoken shit but yeah lol that's most of what I remember.

I'd love to hear what everyone else grew up with!! Share with me your food culturrrrrrre

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary485

1/24-25/25

friday - saturday

could not recall my dreams at all,

the images come to me in flickers but nothing concrete enough or with enough context to explain the place, so maybe a series of hallways? i was going somewhere, doing something, maybe another money dream? strange.

i didn't do a lot today, i watched something insane by this woman on twitter about satanism and internet cults and i felt compelled to write about how i don't think people like her really understand the internet at all, for one, and secondly that the conspiratorial lines of analysis carried out there are poisoning wells that might be important to examine eg who is grooming and manipulating who and stuff. unfortunately those nuggets of information, which are already dubious and unsourced broadly, are now also behind a second layer of much more intensely colored and nearly unrelated lines of thought and history about satanic nazis. it's taking the esoteric angles these groups push seriously, taking a fatal kind of bait they lay out to make you look silly, all while also having 'access' to something beyond normal and a mechanism by which they can condescend to others. blah blah blah. who knows if i'll ever finish that, it got around 9 pages long though. i wanted to write shorter fragments but i kept thinking too much and too hard maybe. i wanted it to be more aphoristic but it just spiraled out. at least some of it is also just random anecdotal story-ish bits about things i've seen. if i do finish it who knows what i will do with that. i have stories that i ought to finish first anyhow.

the other thing that really wigged me out about those videos was the woman saying (paraphrasing here):

people always want to blame guns for mass shootings, but the truth is so much worse it's satanic nazis controlling everything.

and yeah there is fascism all over in america. but being like that about it is just, a strange bias becomes apparent. or bringing up how you are like a concerned parent. it really brings to mind how people needed satanic ritual abuse to explain the normal ways their children were being abused, either by people they knew and couldn't dispense with or structures they were incapable of destroying themselves e.g. schools.

anyway this is an irritating spot in an otherwise good day. it's hard to will yourself to speak again after being quiet even a couple days. it's easy to decide to go mute after 1 day, it feels like.

i listened to a couple new albums, today, also. here are some highlights:

most songs on this album, instrumentally, sound like this one, but the vocals here take it up a notch, i really like the shouted screamy stuff here, makes it super whitebelt-y, that kind of fun organ-core stuff. really colorful and grating. cute drum machine sounds too. cute bassline also, in a silly early arcade game sorta way.

i was thinking about arcade games briefly... i remembered that crazy guy alex kierkegaard. he's a crank, he had no points really, i just remember someone i know used to talk about him because he said arcades were the only thing that made games good. i don't think that's true but my friend lamented arcades. i don't think that guy understood videogames. i started thinking about that guy being a total crank, and then tim rogers, who was kind of crazy back in the day it seems like, and kind of contrarian (his sh2 review is funny and an example of that), but he wasn't insane really, he was just loud and grating on his old text reviews. well, other things not in the alex kierkegaard guy's favor is that he describes himself as 'hyperborean' on his forum which makes it evident he's a nazi, he seems like a guy who has misread nietszche in an insane way. his loss. i wonder if tim will ever finish whatever it is he's doing. his video on pac man makes me emotional a little, not that his others don't but the pac man one is special re: videogames because it's the only thing i think i've seen that gets at formalism in games. it's something that's hard to get at, i had a thought that is maybe stupid, if you have jumping in a game, you are indebted to mario. i wonder why i'm thinking about games like this right now. maybe because a friend finished cyberpunk 2077 which i never played but he said to me:

i remembered games can be fun.

an oddly touching thing. to have fun. whenever we vc we have ideas for things that sound like the worst things ever on purpose. i think that may have corroded his notion of a videogame. although i do tend to like games that aren't fun. maybe i'm stupid, regarding video games.

looking at old actionbutton reviews is making me depressed, in part because the voice he had to adopt probably failed him as much as it helped him get at things, or it got people's attention, but then it made writing anything more expressive difficult. it's such a silly macho thing. is that a misread? i don't know. i don't think so. it's silly to see people online like this. oh, re: that, inexplicably wandering around lastfm tonight, for music somewhat but also to look at long dead accounts, i found a comment left on one that said something in japanese, with a blogspot link, and more inexplicable: the guitarist off the first neon indian's old artblog?

very strange, it seems to lead to a constellation of other blogs so that's something for me to wander through. exciting. i found this looking at the other blogs i saw that he likes, this one called tropical maladie:

pretty image...

okay the other music i heard today:

awesome dance-y synthpunk with these kinds of freaky vocals... it's just annoying in the right way for me... sorry 4 being #predictable. i will probably throw some of the songs off this record on a lot.

and then i heard the most recent frog power record, morpheus my son. really good record, he puts lots of great music out there:

i convinced a friend to get more into him, very happy about that... it feels good to show people things they're really into.

i like how the internet is a weird labyrinth of lost things, that's a compelling part of it, where it's not this thing put to use, it's like discarded and worthless information, it's like the most useless thing you can do online is offer more than reactions to things. like doing this, it's so profoundly worthless to anyone. it feels like something, confusing abandoned profiles, people of certain sorts stuck how they were over 15 years ago now... no energetics, just remains, no possible archeology, the bones speak themselves, pre-arranged.

i had another ridiculous thought today, that the thing i was reading about blanchot a few weeks ago, that his notion of eternal return might best be contained within one word, then, as in:

back then.

and:

so then.

both something in the past and a consequence of something, or a potential, only thinkable because of the past, some awareness of patterns and stuff, and its return a kind of novelty, a thinking of something else. maybe i'm hazy or whatevs, tired now definitely. just trying to put the thoughts i had here today. i did have thoughts about being ugly and that i should die etc. but those don't have to rule my life, though there's something a little addictive about it, that maybe because i feel so ugly now i could hide inside for a long time and come out when i look okay again, that i can exist less or something, or that i in fact should. it's a very sad thing to feel like you made yourself ugly. it's like, why not go all the way then. i guess i put myself in that position a lot. i say it all the time but it feels true, i am very stupid.

anyway, here is something else:

really hard, awesome noise-freak riffing here. want to learn how to make some stuff sound like this sometimes in my music, just like blasting noise, not totally w/o tone though, this strangely thin textured thing, i like the sucking sound almost in the tremolo picking, where the low notes create space for the transients. idk. very weird!!

almost 7 am, stupid stupid stupid, need to sleep,

so,

byebye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[psychicpuppyarcade]

Spare us a crumb of Mommy Issues from the WIP Folder game, perhaps? The Ghilassan lore continues to captivate me

I have a bad habit of writing ahead and so this one doesnt make sense yet in the context of the fic it's from but i suppose that makes it more fun in a way. first half of it is in the past and both povs are ones that i havent written for yet. The title of "mommy issues" may not make full sense right now but we'll get there

----

When your face is bare and new, when your eyes sparkle with an innocent gleam, when even the arrows you shoot strike true on the bullseye of hope- people look at you with just as much. Kids speak to you, and adults ask you for help. You are not yet scarred from the world’s icy claws. And if things go as they have been intended you will not be for a very long time.

There is, however, always one that slips through the cracks.

Large brown eyes look down upon the body of water. Staring intently into their own depths in an attempt to understand, maybe even rationalize. Kids don't look at her the same anymore and adults feel too terrible to ask her for help.

To the clan, she is virtually nothing at the moment. Even if none of them have the courage to say it out loud.

Bandages large and small litter the left side of her face. 

Don't look at it. 

If she looks at it she remembers

Forget, forget, oh sweet creators make it go away.

The only change in her stiff expression is a small water ripple from jumping insects.

—---

Ghilassan snatches the bug out of the large puddle, splashing water onto her fingers. He almost scolds her for it, something on his tongue about sickness, instead it lays heavy in his mouth. She hardly needed more reminders of Solas and he needed to stop talking as if he were a step in.

The sigh Abelas lets out is visible in the air and he can see from his peripheral that she took notice of it. 

“Did you not say anything because you feel bad for me?”

Her blunt nature was never more frustrating than when paired with his own.

“Yes”

Often, Abelas could scarcely believe Solas had a child at all, thinking her more akin to a fragmented spirit that fed on Fen'harel's regrets and molded herself to suit what would hurt him the most. His pity comes from a place in his mind that doesn't enjoy seeing hurt children, scarred with battle and partly from the fact that he felt responsible for the scarring her body took.

She says nothing more, continuing on with observing what was taken from the water. 

(and thats all i can share... rubbing my hands together like an evil fly. also i'm so happy someone is so interested in Ghilassan and her lore she lives in my mind more than i think canon characters do at this point)

[nipstec-limited2]

Spoken English for Beginners: Where to Start and What to Focus On

In today's connected world, spoken English is no longer for the learners. Spoken English has now turned out to be such an essential skill that we need to learn it for career prospects, travel, or even making it part of our personal growth. But for a beginner, where should he start? What should he do to build his confidence up in this subject? This guide is for helping find out ways of learning spoken English, starting from laying a good foundation till making steady progress.

Where to Start

Understand Your Motivation For what reason do you want to learn spoken English? Is it for getting a job? To travel? Or is it for merely conversing with a few more people? These are reasons that motivate you to stay concentrated and inspired.

2. Realistic goal

Being able to introduce oneself or hold a very short conversation with a stranger in three months would be commendable. These milestone objectives give you a sense of movement and keep you aligned with the rest of your goals.

3. Pronunciation and Listening Listening is the best way to understand and to imitate the proper accent. Videos, podcasts, or songs can be used to listen to English. It helps in listening to the correct pronunciation of the word and then imitating it. Some applications, such as BBC Learning English and Elsa Speak, can lead you to develop your pronunciation and train your ear.

4. Start Speaking Early Do not wait until you achieve perfection; as soon as you are able, speak. At first, you should be the following types of sentences:

"I want to learn English." "I like apples." Find a partner to practice with, join a language exchange, or turn to HelloTalk, etc. In the beginning, just try to speak: get rid of that little fear, and you will feel more confident.

What to Focus On

Building Confidence Mistakes have been discovered as a hallmark of learning. Instead of shirking in fear from them, risk them and progress. Mull over minor achievements, such as introducing oneself and achieving a discussion, as great accomplishments.

Learning Grammar Contextually Initial grammar does not have to be so much of a stress. Learn how the grammar is utilized in real-life sentence usages. For example, learn "I am going to the store rather than learning the future continuous tense." and automatically within the practice context.

Gradually Increase Vocabulary It's not easy to cram so many words in now and memorize them. Focus on vocabulary connected with your love interests. For cooking enthusiasts, learn terms like 'recipe,' ingredients, and broth.

Reiterating new words in sentences solidifies memory, for example, "I followed a recipe to cook pasta.".

Increasing Fluency over Time Fluency does not equal speaking without mistakes necessarily but speaking without pausing. Below are the ways one can improve fluency:

Think in English rather than translating thoughts from your native language. Practice speaking out loud, even when you are by yourself. For example, describe what happened throughout the day or what you were doing at the time.

Real-Life Situation Usage When learning the language, you can incorporate some of the learning situations from everyday conversation. Practicing ordering food or asking for directions, or even talking about the weather, might seem silly at first, but role-playing those situations with a friend or tutor will prepare you in case you have to do it in real life.

Tips for Long-Term Progress

Make English a Daily Habit Consistency is key. Dedicate at least 15–30 minutes each day to speaking, listening, or reading in English. You could:

Watch a short video or read an article in English. Speak to yourself while cooking or getting ready in the morning. Small daily habits lead to big improvements over time.

2. Taking Advantage of Technology and Resources Make sure you take advantage of the numerous resources on the internet. A few useful tools include

Apps: Duolingo, Memrise, or Babbel for vocabulary and grammar learning.

YouTube Channels: Keep following creators like English Addict with Mr. Steve or Learn English with Emma.

Online Communities: Posting on forums such as Reddit's r/EnglishLearning or joining Facebook groups for English learners.

Ask for Feedback and Corrections

It cannot be obtained without feedback. You should ask your friend, tutor, or language partner to do the work for you. Also provide one-on-one native-speaker sessions so you can get individual feedback.

Conclusion

Get started with listening practice. As a beginner, listening to spoken English may seem quite difficult, yet it is true that every expert was once a beginner. To build proper vocabulary, inculcate confidence, and practice daily, one will gradually improve. Mistaking oneself shouldn't discourage you; part of the process is making mistakes.

So start today, whether it be five new words or a sentence spoken by oneself. With diligence and time, soon one would find it very easy to communicate in English without much effort. This journey, no doubt, requires a lot of hard work, but its fruits are very sweet!

[celibibratty]

i get so impressed that all this trauma stuff is so me and marina(sometimes i feel like it was not much or not that worse, but we basically lived almost our whole life under stress), that reminded of a day (story time! story time of our miserable and stressful past in...school), this was in 2018, i was in 9 year of school(idk how this class thing works in english), a little bit of context of an another stressful situation on the same year that impacted on this day (uh, how do i say that cuz it may seem silly, but it really traumatized me at the time, (sigh), a troublemaker boy seemed to like me (romantically) and i didn't like that, one day he with some girls sit in circle group in class beside me and marina and then the boy was trying to flirt with me, but all in a kinda of a mocking way, that made me very anxious/stressed (bullying flashbacks), and this day was one of the days that i felt my first higher anxiety attack in my life, my heart was beating very very fast, i couldn't even breath and walk properly, when i was home i felt numb, and after that i get a little bit paranoid(one day i want to talk about this "boy" whole story, it was kinda suck, but heres a little context), the day was a day that had P.E (class that we hate it for the exactly reason of why that day happened, cuz P.E classes seems always like a shitty/stressful moment magnet and cuz of that most of the time we didn't participe), but i needed to have some grades so i decided to participate this day (marina decided to not do it), the game was soccer and it was only girls players (i find so funny, for some reason the girls seem more crazy in these competiton games than the boys), so i was playing, i was very very fast and cuz of that i became a target, had a moment that i was running with the ball beside the court fence and (i gonna say it cuz the girl was huge compared to me, i can call her the "know at all" too cuz she was like the intelligent/leader girl at the class) the "know at all" smashed/pushed me into the fence and it fucking hurts (i dont remember the pain but it hurted, that girl was huge compared to me,

i was like a stick beside her, and she did it on purpose she put force on it), i lay it on the ground in pain and cuz of that the game stop it a little, i remember the other girls went to check on me and they started warning the "know at all" to don't be that aggressive and the "know at all" reaction was like "urgh, it was not that strong, this girl is such a weak, this is a game we need to be more aggressive"(dude, we are not competing in the world's tour cup!!💢), she didn't said that things out loud, but i could see on her expression, she looked kinda bothered, she even said "sorry", but it was so heartless, so careless (no, no, it wasn't like that i think, she does said sorry, but it wasn't like that, it was worse, i think...she laught it, i had a very serious problem with laughters(i/we still have a little), she found it funny) and then she started playing again, i got so mad(i admit it was my bad, cuz i could just quit the game and move on, but i wanted to make her feel too, to see how it was, how it hurted), i tried to do same thing she did with me, i tried to smash/push her to the fence, but as i said the girl was kinda cof cof chubby/huge compared to me,... she was more stronger than me, she push me to the other side and i falled on the sand ground(and this time it was a bad fall, that kinda fall that grate your skin), i remember me falled on the ground, the "know at all" with her face very red (with that kinda mix of a hurt/angry face, ready to put the blame on me, cuz i hurted her), i wanted to cry, but i was holding back the tears, i stand up fast and i was walking to the court exit(i was walking like ep 4 sean after getting hitted by that nicholas a lot of times, yknow when he walk with his hand on his stomach, argh stop talking about this stupid dolls*they are another part of the problem too* but its the only comparisson i know), and...I...felt... so weak, i tried to defeat the girl and i couldn't, who got screwed the most it was me, i remember my thoughts being "why that things happen with me?it has other quiet people in class, why it always us?

"I didn't do nothing to these people, i don't do nothing, i always try to act nice?,why? Why world?why they always try to hurt us?why it always us?" I could hear this words in a crying tone looping in my mind, i couldn't take it, these thoughts make me started crying (i think this was a reaction to stress cuz i was already very stressed cuz of that boy situation and probably cuz of many others too(trust me every day in my life at that phase happened a shit, the thing is that some are more memorable than others,if it wasn't in school would be in the english course or in home, i usually try to forget) and then it happened this, i remember marina running all worried at mine direction, she was trying to comfort me, she was saying so worried "ana, don't cry, don't cry, cuz see you crying makes me want to cry too", but identical twins y'know, when one Twin is hurt the other twin feels the pain, marina started crying with me, and i was crying very loud (sometimes i cry Softly, but this cry was that cry that you hiccup a little), argh, i hated it that before marina start trying to comfort me, that boy come to me all worried saying like "you got hurt? Don't be so sad, it's okay, look, i got hurt too", i remember he showing me his leg injury(his injury was kinda ugly, it was a very big wound in his knee) and i was avoiding eye contact and i said very low "you are the reason of that too"(cuz it really was), i think he heard it cuz i remember he being like "what did you Said?", but marina apperead right after (i find it so annoying that everybody in that day was thinking i was crying because of the injury, it hurted but it wasn't nothing that i never felt before, i was crying because i felt weak, i felt weak cuz i didn't got to do nothing, it was humilating, but i give a credit to the boys cuz they all tried to sypathze with me at least (even this stupid boy), cuz the girls were all defending the "know at all"(not judging, she was their friend), i was so sad that i not even react, but i think one of the boys even complained about the girls and Said something like "you all play like some animals, now, you hurted the "twin"(our nickname i guess), it was kinda funny the way he said that, i don't what happened after that (after the class ended and when we were going home),i just remember that in home it was a mess too, i just remember that my mother knew, but i don't remember if it was cuz school called her or if it was cuz i open up to her (i think it was this one!, i tried to open up with her, i think she notice that i/we looked sad,worst choice of my life), she was all agaisnt us "you hit the girl!!??, did you hurt her!!?, you cried in front of everybody!!? (Argh, i was getting so anxious that i couldnt explain the situation right, even if i do i dont think she would try to understand anyway), i hate that mom didnt had no empathy for us, she already assumed that we were the wrong (maybe they do that to dont make us become spoiled/victiming individual but still), she put the blame on me and it seems Just cuz it was me cuz i'm the angry daughter, the girl hit me too!, and i hate that she was Soft blaiming us for crying as if would be our faults if we got bullied again cuz we kinda asked for it, i remember me almost fainting in fear of things Starting all over again and mom seeing me trembling and being all like "stop with that" , you literally says that we can get mocked cuz of that and then you expect me to not get worried💢, the house discussion was worse than the situation itself for me (i'd prefer to be in school), it so sad, cuz after that discussion i started to blame myself, it wasn't my fault, it wasn't ana from the past fault, well, if you want to know the next day it didn't happened nothing, as if nothing happened (thank god), this mom part pisses me off, this day was one of the second event that prove to me/us that whenever something happened it was better not to Tell mom(we'd rather deal alone or with each other)