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rooniper · 2 months ago

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The inevitable Ralph Lore Masterpost

Here it comes. After my second re-read and a week of talking about this fictional cringefail tragic girl dad to anyone who would listen, here it finally is, because I felt a need to write all of this down for future reference and also because I am very close to exploding at any given second of the day.

Also: do keep in mind some of this is my personal speculation/theories/ramblings and probably not canon, but I did try to stick to just the book as much as possible. This is not a coherent essay. Really, it’s a word vomit because I can’t stop thinking about the funny Phone Man. I still probably missed some things, feel free to chime in in the replies, might make a Part 2 unpacking some of the lore/non-Ralph related bits in the future who knows.

Anyways, in no particular order (AND OBVIOUSLY; SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT):

Pre-Freddy’s Era Details I Couldn’t Fit Anywhere Else (Or: Upbringing, College and some Coppelia’s Mom Speculation)

There’s not much info about Ralph’s childhood from what I could gather, except two things: he was bullied in school to the point where he had to hide in a locked bathroom stall to get away from his classmates, and his father was a major a-hole who had extremely high expectations for him and also used to scare him out of wanting to play hide-and-seek with him which. Goddamn. The quote “all your life you’ve gotten used to not pushing buttons” really, really doesn’t help the horrible parents allegations. So yeah the man has daddy issues, jot that down.

Expanding on the previous point: a lot of his parenting of Coppelia seems to be directly influenced by his own upbringing. The paragraph-long tangent about how he’s purposefully awful at hide-and-seek because he never wants Pel to feel as scared as he did is an obvious example, but he also brings her gifts from work pretty much constantly (and sidenote: he thinks of taking things from his job that he never breaks the rules at to bring to her all the goddamn time, while being actively hunted by murderous animatronics. That’s so goddamn wholesome I’m sorry even when he’s scared out of his mind he’s constantly thinking of her). He never puts her down the way it’s implied he was put down as a child, he seems really supportive of her hobbies by the way he talks about her reading. I have more to say about his parenting skills, but the fact that he’s terrified of becoming like his own father/parents seems to be a giant part of them.

He’s a college dropout who majored in psychology, aiming to specialize in child psychology, which makes so much sense but also I find incredibly ironic considering he later exhibits very VERY obvious signs of what’s probably PTSD and doesn’t clock it at all. But that is also going to be its separate point, put a pin in that.

It’s not just implied, but pretty explicitly stated by Ralph himself that he’s a massive overachiever. He was probably pretty academically successful in college, considering he mentions it was a surprise to most people that he’d drop out to get into security work. It’s pretty strongly implied this was mostly because he was pressured into succeeding by his parents. My man has that helicopter parents burnout syndrome, and escaped it by going into a job where he could still interact with kids like he wanted to as a psychologist but actually be happy, and that means a lot to me actually.

(Very important sidenote, because I don’t know where else to put this: the fact that his real dream job is to make children’s toys is just so real to me, especially as someone who’s also experienced academic burnout. It makes so much sense for him to want to do something with his hands where he can create something tangible after being pushed into being traditionally ‘successful’ in academia by his environment. Also put a pin in this as well because I have another point to make about the whole toymaker thing)

He seems to be at least low-contact with his family, which is understandable from what we know about his father - I’d say it’s likely he even cut contact completely after dropping out of college. The fact that he never mentions his parents as a possibility when he talks about babysitting options, or the fact that he doesn’t even consider them taking care of Coppelia when he is literally about to die seems pretty telling to me. I mean, alternatively, they could both be dead, depending on how old Ralph is, but since Coppelia’s only eleven that seems a bit unlikely.

Coppelia’s mom is a mystery. There is exactly one mention of her in this entire book and it doesn’t come from Ralph, but from Pel, so we know she does in fact exist but that’s about it. When Ralph talks about parenting Coppelia he never mentions her mom, even as far back as when Coppelia was one year old. They probably divorced when Coppelia was really young, and Ralph likely has full custody, since he never mentions Coppelia going to her mother’s for the weekend or anything like that. And that’s all we know.

Freddy’s and Related Tidbits (Or: I Stuffed Everything Related to his Relationship to Fazbear Entertainment in this Section)

He’s worked at Freddy’s for at least eleven years, because he mentions Coppelia being a month old when he already had the job and recorded his first training tape. If FNAF 1 indeed takes place in 1993, that means he was already working at Freddy’s by 1982 and likely earlier. Which, side-tangent, would imply that either Fredbear’s Family Diner was removed enough from Fazbear Entertainment by then for him not to know anything beyond the vague existence about the bite of ‘83, or that FNAF 1 takes place after 1993. But at this point the timeline is confusing enough that who knows.

He’s never moved up to management despite being there for more than a decade, also doesn’t appear to know Henry or William (especially if you believe the whole Dave-is-probably-William theory).

He was employee of the month 22 times. He also likely competed against his murderer ex-boss in disguise for the longest employee of the month award streak which is the best goddamn thing I’ve ever heard.

He’s written some of the rules at Freddy’s. Because of course he has.

He leaves passive-agressive notes to the dayshift guard and also thinks about shoving a ballpoint pen in the cleaning staff’s faces. And also talks about reporting people for slacking off. What I’m trying to say that he’s probably not the most popular of people with the rest of the staff, and doesn’t appear to realize why that could possibly be. Worst enemy of folks who don’t want to take their shitty minimum wage job extremely seriously.

On a related note, he takes his job so seriously oh my god. He does like twenty other jobs each night while the animatronics are trying to kill him. He’s probably the only person still doing reports. Management is very much implied to never read them. He writes them anyway. The fact that he was genuinely called ‘the Phone Guy’ and also was in training videos is also amazing (and also pushes the Trans Phone Guy agenda for anyone who considers Kim from the FNAF movie to be a stand-in for him).

This is specifically night-shift related: While it’s true that his survival instincts are absolutely shot, he is, when pushed, demonstrated to be capable of extreme violence against animatronics, which actually good for him. He kicks Bonnie’s head off. He beats Chica to death with a mop. He shoots Foxy with a watergun and also throws a lightbulb at him. This is not particularly important to anything but it’s extremely important to me.

Anyways, he’s really, really loyal to this company. Like, too loyal. Like, he was very much responsible and instrumental in shutting down rumors and speculation among staff after the bite of ‘87 and likely after the MCI as well too loyal. He’s management’s mouthpiece for their dirty work and that makes me feel a certain way because it’s so obvious he cares a lot about this shitty kids’ restaurant, enough that he’d defend it at all cost even when there’s so much evidence against it. This will come up again when I talk about him gaslighting himself.

This is mostly me speculating on the previous point, but I’m pretty certain a lot of his defending of the company is also a coping mechanism that he uses to grapple with the trauma brought to him by the fact that he’s spent a huge chunk of his life working for a conglomerate that’s gotten people killed. He genuinely insinuates Jeremy was responsible for getting chomped, because he must’ve done something wrong, the animatronics would never attack anyone without reason (right?). When he talks about how the media blew children going missing out of proportion, it seems less like he believes it and more like he doesn’t want to believe it - especially considering he’s only brought Coppelia to Freddy’s once in her life. He never lets her near it. He shuts her down immediately when she talks about working at it. Which, at least to me, demonstrates that on a subconscious level, he knows what he’s saying isn’t true. It’s just easier to say it than face the facts.

And lastly, he’s so clearly and passionately loyal to the Fazbear’s franchize. This fucker genuinely loves working here and is sad to go, even though management treats him like shit. We already knew that, but still, dear god those people could not care less if he lived or died and he STILL takes his night guard duties so goddamn seriously. He’s so clearly really invested in it, he talks about what a magical place Freddy’s used to be for kids, he talks about how much the job means to him, all the while it’s actively trying to kill him, he defends it to the point that it’s actively ridiculous, and in multiple endings he still gets blackmailed, disappeared or worse by the people he’s defending. And- I don’t know. It just makes me really sad. Again, I do believe his over-the-top enthusiasm for his job is probably him compensating for the fact that he doesn’t want to face the incredibly traumatic stuff happening to him, especially because as the week goes on, he gets less and less enthusiastic with every night, and just- Yeah. Fazbear Entertainment doesn’t deserve him.

Characterization, Diction and Things Like That (Or: Everything Else)

Let’s get the more positive stuff in this section out of the way first: we already knew this from the phone calls, but the way this man talks just sends me. “Time to make the donuts” when walking into a shift my favorite of his Phone-Guy-isms, but also unironically saying “oh boy!” and “what rotten luck!” right when you’re about to die is equally important to me.

Kind of related but not really: this man truly is a dad through and through because MY GOD the amount of bad puns and/or stupid references he makes is criminal. The fact that they get him actually killed in some of the endings because he keeps laughing at his own terrible jokes is also great. My favorite examples include thinking “my, what large ears you have” immediately before Foxy mauls him, the Irony Curtain, the how many night watchmen does it take to change a lightbulb, and so on. The fact that he also finds all of this absolutely hilarious means so much to me. Ralph truly is a cringefail girl dad, RIP to him he would’ve loved those awful shirts with puns that were popular with dads going to Disneyland in the 2000s.

Not gonna lie, and I’m not sure if this is just me reading too much into it, but he also reads as at least slightly neurodivergent to me. And I am ready to die on that hill. He doesn’t really seem to be the best at social interaction or with figuring people out, from the way he talks about not being able to tell if his coworkers are only laughing at his jokes to be polite or not and how he doesn’t seem to understand why they would be upset with him shoving minimal errors in their faces. He notices a single hat out of place in one of the Party Rooms and immediately goes to correct it. He makes a point about how much he hates messes and the whole “you need order, you crave order in your life” quote resonated so deeply with me that it’s uncanny. He’s a “stickler for rules”. The fact that he worked at one place for eleven plus years also makes me think he’s probably not the best with change. I could go on. I don’t know, I wouldn’t be able to tell you why, but I just can’t see him as fully neurotypical.

He’s also just a really curious dude, to the point of his curiosity overriding his survival instincts. Which is a horror protagonist trope if I’ve ever seen one. The scene where he lifts up a strange robot cupcake he just found directly to his face with zero hesitation is just. Yeah.

He loves Foxy, which we already knew, but also the fact that he explicitly states that he’s still scared of him and Pirate Cove by association makes me kinda sad. Also, related point, he’s a self-proclaimed fan of pirate stories, so I’m pretty sure that’s where Coppelia gets her taste in books from, but that’s besides the point.

In general, he just really loves the animatronics, too? Like he waves at them after his shift. Like I already mentioned, he talks about how much they mean to him, and how much he loves the fact that they brought joy to kids. It’s kinda sweet.

The most questionable thing about him is the way he. Uh. Talks about guns/cops in a way that kind of makes me remember he was raised in Utah around the 1960s. There are a few specific passages that make me extremely concerned about what his opinion on the second amendment is. But that is luckily left unspoken so I’ll be moving along.

The job stresses him out so much he consumes a packet of raw poptarts because he’s so hungry by the end of it. Which, while iconic, is also very deeply concerning. Which brings me to my biggest point

My god this man has Trauma. So much Trauma. He represses so much. The entirety of the beginning of Night 3 is just him describing that he forgets details about his shifts as soon as he leaves them. He gaslights himself constantly that nothing bad is happening (after Night 1, for example, he calls the entire shift the night before a bad dream and convinces himself he’s just “misinterpreting” events, which is goddamn concerning), but he’s also actively wasting away despite telling himself he’s not (my man looks into the mirror and his only and first comment is that he looks terrible). Not to mention the dissociation. He spaces out when he comes home on two seperate occassions, and loses and entire hour each time without realizing it. God I hope in the endings where he survives he eventually gets therapy.

Coppelia and Life Outside of Work (Or: This Section is Concerningly Short)

This man loves his daughter so goddamn much. So, so much.

No but seriously the interactions between him and Coppelia are so pure and well written and they were my favorite part of the book, somehow, even though I wasn’t originally sold on the concept. The “with what?” “excellent point, I’ve got nothing” kills me still. The scene where Coppelia curls up next to him after he comes home from his shift makes me want to sob. He makes her pancakes and they banter and she test limits but it’s obvious she also loves her dad, and that is- AAAAAA

Back to my bullshit, though: Ralph does kinda read as the type of parent who’d spoil a kid rotten if given the opportunity to do so. At some point Coppelia directly says that he “gets her everything she wants”, and- yeah. This is similar to the point I made previously about him bringing her gifts all the time. She does seem like a good kid, though. He’s just a girl dad to the extent that he’d probably wear a shirt with girl dad written on it, you know?

He’s also really protective of her. And worries. A lot. Not just when he calls home or rushes home to check on her, but also when he talks about being a security guard at her school and whenever he forbids her from ever ever going near Freddy’s. Say what you will about him defending a company to a possibly unethical extent, but he’s not about to endanger his daugher over it, and I respect that.

The only concering thing about him and Coppelia is the fact that Coppelia apparently drew herself stabbing him when she was little. Which is. Well. Not ideal. The fact that he finds this completely normal is very in character, though.

On Coppelia by herself, though: the fact that she ‘tinkers with stuff in the basement’ concerns me. I wouldn’t at all be surprised if after the canon ending, she ends up to be a technician at Freddy’s at some point. Also, the fact that she’s a gamer warms my heart.

Now, on other outside-work activities: I love the implication that my man not only bowls and always pays for dinner, but that he bowls and pays for dinner while dining with his serial killer ex-boss. God, that’s awesome, I love that so much.

Tying back to a point I made previously and also to a point I saw some people make that I really, really resonated with: there are actually a lot of parallels between Henry/William and Ralph, especially concering parenting. I don’t think the fact that his dream to be a toymaker is accidental, either, or the fact that he goes out of his way to point out that he wants to make toys that aren’t at all mechanical. Because even though he’s also a dad trying to make his kid happy with his creations, unlike William and/or Henry, he doesn’t want to make anything bigger than himself, or anything innovative; just wants to make simple things and make a kid’s day better. I don’t know man keeps me up at night, you know?

And, because this is only important to me: he owns a Kit-Cat Clock. This is somehow the most fitting thing I could’ve read about his taste in home decor.

And because I don’t know how else to end this: that’s a wrap! Was this book perfect? Hell no. The Bronwen plotline makes my brain hurt. But was it incredibly fun? Oh hell yes. And now I have a reference point for any future writings I do where Ralph is an active character, so that’s a major bonus. I have many thoughts but not enough time to put all of them down so I’m stopping here, major thanks to @graceandtheidiotsquad for pushing me over the edge and making me actually finish this with a reply lmao. And that’s all! Phone Man please get out of my head now before I go insane.

#when i tell you rent free in my head i mean rent free #i start uni in like 4 days i can’t still be unwell over a goddamn fnaf book and yet #ralph my beloved i love you you silly silly man #fnaf #phone guy #the week before #fnaf the week before #fnaf the week before spoilers #reference

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sout999 · 4 months ago

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adhd talk

the third truly unsung project alongside my film and dissertation was the weird amount of targeted effort i had to put into Completing Anything Big As A Neurodivergent Person Whose Brain Is A Crazy Off The Rails Train Staffed and Patronised Entirely By Multiple Exact Copies Of The Squirrel From Ice Age

which is a description like 99/100 people reading this can relate to, but i think a sentiment i see less often and therefore feel kind of stupid and stubborn and lonesome about is "adhd is innate but is also exasperated by hectic lifestyle/modern instant gratification machines so if i fix my habits around those i can cure myself forever". which is silly and wrong but also i feel abit disconnected from adhd social media culture and cant cope just relating to it (which is all it seems to be sometimes) but learning to harness or tame it to do the things that are really important to me

i felt really cringe tbh having to look up youtube videos of HARVARD STUDENT REVEALS PRO STUDY TRICK and then narrowing it down to specifically adhd-focused study videos and keeping a planner and setting aside specific time to study studying and practising anti-academic meltdown journaling techniques and reading fucking atomic habits but i really didn't want to contribute to my abhorrent academic record following me all through undergrad. in fact i wish i had done this sooner but i was not self aware enough to consider the fact

probably the best change i made was severely cutting down or being mindful of social media time, i don't backread my tl anymore and have more moments of awareness when i find myself dumbly scrolling and realize i dont want to be doing this, and then wondering what i actually Do want to be doing. i keep a book nearby to read, and have also swapped a lot of social media time to sketching-off-pinterest time. reading about the psychology behind social media apps is also super interesting, although i always feel like a paranoid wacko conspiracy theorist talking about it. stuff like how negativity and judgemental behaviour is good for engagement (and therefore ad revenue), and how if all posts on your tl were interesting you wouldn't be as addicted to social media as you are, therefore microblogging employs a slot machine/gacha system where you "roll" for posts by logging on and hope to get a good one. it's a little full on but the more i think of it as a revolting and evil machine the more incentive i have to do something else with my time ^q^

a harder thing to do was, in the late stages of the project, the real crunch time month, avoid everything that could become a huge hyperfixation, and then eventually even minor distractions or fixations. because i know if i got super obsessed with something i'd just be up posting about it or drawing fanart. i had to bar myself from persona 3 remake and elden ring dlc and all these other shiny new releases, and the mobile games i was playing... i look forward to catching up on them now. i took up reading books a lot more because unfortunately thats just not as exciting. in the last month of film work i stopped listening to music on my computer so i wouldnt get drawing or animation ideas to distract me from film work. as of writing this i havent listened to music in like 40 days guys 😱 at the same time i am the kind of person who needs background noise to work, so i have:

watched novum's four hour hereditary video essay three times

watched novum's seven hour midsomar video essay three times

watched that one five hour bojack horseman retrospective twice

listened to audiobooks of the Britney Spears biography, Jennette McCurdy biography, three Playboy Bunny biographies (i was on some sort of lady bopgraphy kick i guess), and a few fiction books

rewatched all of bojack horseman

started on House MD and got a few seasons in before i finished the project, amazingly the perfect show to look away from bc of all the medical stuff, how many lumbar punctures do you need to show like seriously

honorable mention to the learned skill of communication and being honest and picking your battles and killing your darlings which is a larger part of managing mental illness than i cared to admit but one of the hardest ones because it involved confronting things and making big painful drastic changes and then having to tell the faculty about them. sometimes i'd be stuck on a piece of animation work for weeks/months, then go back and change the underlying idea to one i'm actually passionate about, and do the animation work in one day using newly found magical hyperfocus passion power. it's crazy! but being able to be confident about taking those steps rather than keeping on with what you're "supposed" to do went a long way.

i very much look forward to listening to a music and playing some video games properly now and being pulverized like a small victorian child from the sheer amount of fun i'm having. i'd say it was all worth it and a fun experiment in channeling the magical humours of passion and boredom and i hope it will help me with future projects too. i Am super burnt out though x__ x thanks for reading and for all your support up until now!

#pppepep

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3hks · 4 months ago

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MY Hot Takes on Writing

I like to think that when it comes to writing, there's a lot of general opinions floating around, and occasionally they don't agree with each other. So, just for fun, here are my "unpopular opinions" when it comes to this topic!

1. Romance Cliches Aren't Bad

We get told to avoid popular cliches, but honestly, I don't see any harm in romance ones. Let's be honest here romance enjoyers, we LOVE those unrealistic yet heartwarming, classic, cliched situations more often than not. And this is not to say that there are zero negative cliches or that not using them is bad, it's simply the fact that they can still be appreciated despite their frequent use!

2. Predictable Characters Can Be Good

A character being predictable is a common criticism, but that doesn't necessarily mean that you failed at your job. When you establish a character well, the audience will naturally start to understand them much better. Because of that, they have a better idea of your character's actions, emotions, and thought process, allowing them to accurately guess what they might do next.

So yeah, maybe someone states that your character is too predictable but that could mean that you did your job right!

3. Bigger words ≠ Better

Some people love showing off their huge vocabulary and others are significantly less confident about it. Regardless of which side you're on, I simply want to bring attention to the fact that using bigger words (like seriously complex ones) doesn't mean your writing is better. Maybe it matters in academic essay and whatnot, but that's not entirely true for creative writing.

The thing is, if you use many words that you KNOW may trip up most of your readers, then there isn't much point in using them. After enough confusion, they're bound to quit quickly. Don't get me wrong, I love fancy words, but they don't define the quality of your writing!

4. Grammar isn't a Dealbreaker

Are you self-conscious of your grammar? Well, the thing is, besides the basics (capitalization, spelling, ending punctuation, etc.), grammar is not as important as you may think it is! Missing or extra commas are hardly a dealbreaker when it comes to a good book--I've read books with not-so-good grammar but a solid storyline. And guess what? I read until the end!

If your grammar is not perfect, that's definitely not the end of the world.

5. Not All Villains Have To Be Justified

In some movies and shows, you see that when they explain what the villain is trying to accomplish, it's not exactly a bad motive and they're just approaching it from a different, "wrong" way. Does this gain more respect for the antagonist from the audience? Yes.

However, I think that even if they aren't justified, it doesn't take away the effectiveness of the villain. Of course, they need a reason, but it doesn't have to be a good one. Why? Because a sinister purpose fully demonstrates that your character is actually evil. No, they might not get as much respect, but they can genuinely intimidate.

Alright--that's it! Now I'd love to know if you have any "unpopular opinions" about writing, so feel free to share!

Happy writing~

3hks ^^

#writeblr #writing #writerscommunity #creative writing #hot takes on writing #unpopular opinions on writing #unpopular takes on writing #opinions on writinng #opinions about writing

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olderthannetfic · 6 months ago

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i saw this post today where this person was talking abt fandom racism and was pointing out some real issues within my fandom and favorite ship that I too had noticed… but then kept bringing it back to the lack of one particular other ship they liked, when it's like, no that's not the problem, and that ship is unpopular because those characters have zero romantic or sexual chemistry and barely any scenes together. (it was really funny that someone had reblogged this to take their 'lack of seeing this one character in a sexual way in fic miiight be racist' complaint to be like 'i think you're right! we should have more fic about [a long list of different ships involving that character with people they have ACTUAL chemistry with].' it was really funny. ofc op totally missed the point they were making there.) anyway i just feel like way too many useful conversations about this stuff are ruined by people making it about shipping or other really subjective fandom preferences. i get that this is because something like 'number of fics X ship or character has on ao3' is an objective measure, and something like 'level of orientalism in how a lot of people are writing this desi character' is not, but i wish people would realize it tends to alienate more people that it converts. and ime, it's often the people who maybe would most benefit from hearing those criticisms (e.g. are writing unintentionally racist stuff in their works, and are someone who would want to know about that and how to do it differently) who tune it out the second you make it into insulting their shipping preferences.

i mean, there WAS some real racism in the star wars sequels fandom, including among the fanfic/shipping side. not just the shitty dudes harassing kelly marie tran. we saw the really bizarre 'predator' language people directed at john boyega just for making some joke posts on instagram about disliking reylo and its shippers. it was the very classic racist thing where people see something as automatically more threatening when a black man does it. ....but how many people had already tuned all that out because the people most outspoken about the racism in the fandom kept reducing it to 'if you ship reylo over finnrey, or kylux over finnpoe, you're a racist'? it's like a boy who cried wolf thing. if you've shown that you can't uncouple serious discussions and concerns from just being pissy that your otp is not more popular, people are going to see you as someone who can't be taken seriously and then ignore you when you do have a real complaint. it's like how i'm sure that some of stitch's essays are thoughtful and important, but i have no desire to read stuff by someone who is infamous for harassing people just for what they ship. i don't feel like i can take any of that person's judgments about fandoms i'm not in, for instance, seriously.

that's not to say fandom preferences in shipping can't ever be influenced by racism (or other 'isms') but is it ever really *that* specifically that is the problem, or the broader pattern it is part of? and i feel like 'maybe fandom is a little too focused on het and slash ships between two young skinny conventionally attractive white people' is a message more people are open to than 'your specific white M/M or F/M otp is racist'

anyway it reminds me of the stuff i've seen sometimes in academic fandom studies about how you can't really honestly study a fandom where you're deeply mired in its discourse - you need to focus your work on fandoms that you're familiar with but not in that way. and i think that maybe also applies to some of these discussions about fandom racism and misogyny. maybe you're just going to have better takes on something when you're not deeply invested in other unrelated arguments about it, like about which ship is the most popular. like i could not care less about star wars shipping and have zero take in reylo vs. finnrey, so that's why i feel like i could trust my perception that the way a small minority of reylos were posting about john boyega's instagram posts was racist. it didn't matter if he was genuinely being a jerk to them or about their ship. he obviously wasn't a 'predator' and it was pretty telling language for a group of largely white people to use about a black man making fun of their ship on a different social media site.

The laying pipe thing was blown so out of proportion, yes. Call it sexist, sure, but it wasn't fucking predatory.

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yuyan · 1 year ago

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The art of love

Kaveh x gn!reader (highschool au)

Fluff, angst, hurt/comfort

Tags: artistic/academic reader, bickering, academic rivals to lovers (but art class), Kaveh can't write essays, sumeru classes = honour classes, mild swearing

"Her nose is a little off-centre," you said absentmindedly.

"I know!" Kaveh said, "I'm fixing it."

"Just saying," you said in a sing-song voice.

"Shut up and focus on your own painting."

You let out a laugh and continued painting the hair of your character. Art class would be a peaceful class with the lo-fi music the teacher plays and quiet chattering as ambient noise, if it wasn't for the two of you's constant bickering.

"Thats not how you paint hair," Kaveh said, side-eyeing your piece.

"I'm literally blocking in the shadows. It's nowhere near done," you replied, agitation seeping into your voice.

"Weeeeeeeell, if you ever need help, I'm always here," Kaveh said. The light and cheery tone was clearly mocking you and made you want to pluck his hair out. "After all, I am the only one here who truly likes art," he added, swiping baby pink paint on your right cheek and leaning in so close, you'd kiss if you moved even a millimetre in the wrong direction.

Suddenly, he fell back, off his chair and many eyes gazed at the two of you. You still had your arm extended from when you shoved him away from you and Kaveh was on the ground, a little stunned.

"Aww are you blushing?" Kaveh mocked, referring to the paint still on your cheeks. "You know it's quite rude to push someone, believe it or not, this elite academy's uniform is quite expensive. Though it probably isn't worth a dime in your eyes," he mumbled the last part.

You wiped the paint off your cheeks aggressively while Kaveh picked himself up from the floor.

"You too!" the teacher yelled,"I don't care what's going on between the two of you but it needs to stop, you're both sumeru students for archon's sake!"

"But-" Kaveh dropped his head and just nodded, stopping himself while you simply ignored the teacher and turned to face your painting.

The two of you were the only sumeru students in your art class. Your other "scholarly" classmates had left when they got chance, talking about how "art's a waste of time anyways" or "I have other more important things to do." They probably gave your head teacher so much of a headache that she just let them change. Poor Ms Nahida. Most of the students in your art class were from the mondstat and Inazuma stream with some from Fontaine as well.

"You know you can just quit like all of our other academic classmates, are you just doing art to prove you're better or more cultured than them?" Kaveh asked. "It's no point, they think it's useless and I hate people like you who do it even though they don't like it. Go back to them and receive praise for being top of the class like a dog again." ("Class" refers to the sumeru stream which has roughly 150 students—your grade alone—and is the top 14.29%)

"Who says I don't like art?" you replied coldly.

"Well-"

"If you payed attention in language arts, you'd know it's a rhetorical question," you cut him off. "Anyways, why would I want to go back to them? They're stupid anyways."

"After you finish your painting, please write an essay on it, it'll be 50% of you final grade," the teacher announced.

Kaveh groaned. Hearing the bell ring you packed up and left for lunch.

The cafeteria was bustling with noise. Everyone excitedly talking to their friends, exchanging gossip or complaining about the huge load of work they had. Most sumeru students came into the cafeteria and left, too busy perfecting their assignments or doing an extra research project either for fun or extra credit. It wasn't uncommon to see students score above 95% in the sumeru stream so to be the top of the class

"I'm gonna fail," Kaveh said, slumping across the table.

"I'm sure you won't, art is your best subject after all," Tighnari reassured, eating his lunch.

"We have to write and essay and last time we did that, I just passed!" Kaveh shouted. "It dragged my overall grade to a B!"

"Stop shouting, you're so loud," Alhaithem said, turning the next page if his textbook.

Kaveh's biggest weakness were essays, analytical essays. He could analyse just fine and find the meaning easily but his structure, poor vocab and ability to never know how to write and explain something, led to him only just passing because of his analysing skills. To anyone else in the elite academy, Teyvat high, his skills would actually be quite good but he was in the sumeru stream and to get into a special architecture degree in the university of teyvat, he'd have to suffer in the sumeru stream. Unfortunate.

"Just ask (name), they're in your art class and is top of our grade," Cyno said. "And-"

"If you say one more horrible joke, I'm going to throw you out of this cafeteria," Tighnari warned.

"Fine..." Cyno said.

"Like they'd ever want to help," Kaveh said, "plus, I hate them."

"Don't you have a crush on them?" Alhaithem said.

"Shut up!" Kaveh shouted, "as if!"

Cyno raised one of his eyebrows while Tighnari mumbled a "whatever you say."

"I don't like them like that, they're just..."

"Cute? I guess but," you pondered, trying to find the right words.

"Oh so you do like him," Dehya smirked.

"Omg! (Name) has a crush on Kaveh!" Nilou squealed, all giddy. "How cute!"

"As if," you said, rolling your eyes. "And you didn't even let me finish my sentence! I can't find the right words for it," you said, the memory of this morning flashing in your mind. "Annoying? Yes but no...Dumb? No not really...Ah! Obnoxious!"

Your friends' eyes slightly widened, their eyes fixated on whatever or whoever was behind you. Swiftly, you turned around, only to see kaveh.

"Well hello to you too," he huffed.

"What is it?" you asked.

"Could you help me with the art essay and in return I'll... I'll leave you alone?" His heart ached at the sight of the twinkle in your eyes when he mentioned the last part.

You thought back to art class. You had left in such a hurry when the bell rang, you forgot your pencil case. When you had went back to go get it, you heard voices coming from inside the classroom.

"Kaveh, you have to lift your grades," your teacher said. Kaveh merely nodded. "You have so much potential but your writing grade keeps dragging you down, please put an effort to improve it this time?" You saw Kaveh clench his fists as his whole body stiffened. You couldn't see his face but the look on your teacher's was a disappointed one.

You'd seen Kaveh poor his heart into every essay whether in art class or not and he'd always just pass. It was like nothing he did could get him over that C. Stepping back from the doorway, you watched Kaveh come out with hot, angry tear in his eyes. He hadn't even notice you and just stormed off to the cafeteria. As soon as he came out, you went in, greeting the teacher, took your pencil case and left.

The journey to the cafeteria wasn't long but it had you thinking. Should you ask if Kaveh wants help? Or would he see it as condescending? You two clearly weren't on the best terms.

Coming back to reality, you nodded and you saw a soft smile grace Kaveh's lips. "You have my number, does the library after school work for you?" you asked.

"Ah yes," Kaveh said, smiling like an idiot.

You had Kavehs's number since he was friends with your friends and you all exchanged numbers but the encounters after that weren't the most pleasent to say the least.

The day went by fast and with the final ring of the bell, you made your way to the library, shooting Kaveh a text when you reached there. The library was two stories and with endless categories and books from fantasy to ancient languages. You secured a small booth in the corner of the library. It has a whiteboard to the left, a decent table that had a comfortable booth seat on each side.

"Hi," Kaveh greeted.

"Hi, let's start?" you asked.

Kaveh nodded in response.

You two started to plan each of your essays, discussing the meaning behind both you and kaveh's painting. The atmosphere was tense and you held you tongue for the sake of a civil study session. Kaveh accepted each tip you gave him, begrudgingly.

The study break ended 20 minutes ago. Refining your plan, you scribbled notes down to the sound of kaveh's typing. You looked up, only to see Kaveh still texting away. He'd been text for half an hour now and each time you told him to stop, he'd just say "I'm almost done."

"What is so important that has you texting for the last half an hour?" you asked, rather impatiently.

"Nothing, just heard that Sam got her hair pulled out." Kaveh said, putting his phone down. (I'm sorry if your name is Sam)

"She got into ankther fight?"

"Yep."

"Serves her right, she's always been a bitch."

Kaveh laughed and you tilted your head to the side, a smile creeping onto your own face.

"Would you like to hear how it happened?" Kaveh asked.

"Yeah, that girl has been causing drama since her first day. Of course I want to know how karma caught up with her," you said.

"Ok, so..."

Time pasted fast as the two of you gossiped and chatted, work casted aside. Playful insults were thrown carelessly and eventually the librarian had to kick the two of you out because it was closing time.

The next day rolled around and both of you found yourself working on your essays, starting the first draft. Typing away, words flowed as you wrote about the composition, line quality and colours used in your piece. Finishing the first draft, you sighed as you saved it and glanced over to Kaveh who was dead asleep.

"I knew this would happend," you muttered. Your grey cotton blanket covered him while you snuck a small pillow under his head, careful not to wake him.

In return, you took his laptop and found he'd finish your first draft before you so you started editing it. Making little notes with the comments feature and giving feedback to pass the time.

"Hmm...how long have I been asleep for?" Kaveh asked, sturing from his slumber.

"Good morning sleeping beauty, you've been sleeping for just over an hour," you said, neatly placing your books and pencil case back into your bag. Kaveh watched you pack up intently. His eyes were still droopy with exhausten and his hair was fluffy and messed up. "I was going to wake you after I finished packing up but I guess there's no need."

You gave a sweet smile that made Kaveh melt into a puddle of water. He couldn't stand how adorable and innocent your smile was and how your eyes reflected it. The slight rosy tint to your cheeks was all it took for Kaveh to want to squish them and pepper them with kisses. He swore over and over again that he wouldn't fall in love with you no matter what he did yet here he was, completely whipped. Simp was an understatement.

"I also finished editing your essay and made notes on what I changed gave feedback so you can refer to it in the future," you said,"if you don't understand it, I can explain it tomorrow but I have to go now so bye." You saved and took your leave.

"Oh, oh ok, bye," Kaveh said, waving back with one hand while the other rubbed his sleepy eye.

Two weeks had gone by, the two of you either meeting everyday after school or the day after if it one couldn't make it. A week after your final meeting, all assignments and exams had been completed and handed in. Everyone let out a sigh of relief as the final week before summer holidays arrived. The final week was mostly preparation for next semester's topics, cleaning up and receiving marks back.

It'd been a week since Kaveh last spoke or argued with you. With the two of you sharing every class except one elective, it was easy to spot the two of you arguing with each other. Whether it was malicious or playful, no one really knew. The two of you didn't even know but an unsettling peace had made itself home in your classes. One that unsettled everyone because it must've meant something really bad happend, right?

You saw Kaveh receive his score on his essay, the look on his face showed he was estatic. In an instant he looked at you with a big heart-warming smile that made you smile even on your worst days but then he shut his mouth as if he remembered something and reluctantly turned away. It made your heart ache and all you wanted to do was scream at him that he didn't have to ignore you, despite the promise he made.

Kaveh: I got a full score!

Tighnari: Congrats!

Cyno: Nice, did you tell (name)?

Kaveh: Oh um...

Alhaithem: Did you forget Kaveh said he'd leave (name) alone if they helped them?

Alhaithem: Good job on your essay Kaveh.

Kaveh: Thanks

Cyno: Sorry, it slipped my mind.

Kaveh: Its fine.

Alhaithem: Well if that's all, stop texting in class, there's still ten minutes left.

Kaveh: Art teacher doesn't care and you're texting in class too!

(Read by Alhaithem, cyno and tighnari)

Kaveh: Don't leave me on read! Urgh!

Throughout the day, you caught Kaveh glance at you from across the class multiple times. Each time, his eyes would widened slightly and he'd whip his head back so fast you thought it might fall off one day. What you didn't notice was the small pout on his lips as he continued taking notes and the bright red that dusted his cheeks and ears.

Everytime you approached, he'd walk away. If you walked in the same room as him and he couldn't escape, he'd talk to someone, making small talk.

"What if he's seeing someone else and moved on already!" Nilou shouted from you left.

"Thats not helping nilou and I doubt that loverboy would move on so quickly," Dehya said from your right while you shrunk.

"Sorry," Nilou said.

"Its fine," you said, pressing the button underneath the traffic light. "This is where I part," you said with a smile,"Ill see you two tomorrow."

"Oh ok bye (name)!" Nilou said.

"See ya," Dehya called out, already walking the other direction.

"Hey wait Dehya! Wait for me!" Nilou shouted, chasing after her.

You looked to the ground and wondered for a moment. Kaveh had been ignoring you purposely and you even tried leaving a note one time on his desk saying you wanted to talk. Perhaps he really didn't like you and just said he'd leave you alone because he thought itd been a win-win for the both of you. Killing two birds with one stone. Getting a high score and also never having to talk to you ever again. Before you knew it, small tears escaped your eyes and you sniffed while furiously wiping the tears away. "No, no that can't be true. I-" words got caught in your throat. Words that wouldn't have been spoken to anyone in particular. The traffic lights beeping went off signalling for you to cross. You looked up staring at the green man start to flash red as you finished crossing.

"Whatever! Its fine!" a voice yelled. "Its not like I love them anyways!" a very familiar voice yelled.

You turned the corner, to see a blonde man standing next to his silver haired friend. Never would you have expected to fall in love University or that kaveh's words would hurt you so much but as you stood there and watched Kaveh's and alhaithem's retreating figure, as you watched Kaveh list all the things he hated about you, small cracks turned into big cracks as your heart started to fall apart and you couldn't be bothered to pick the pieces up.

Part 2 || Dont read part 2 if you don't want comfort and just want an angsty ending. || Requests: open

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cheeseanonioncrisps · 2 years ago

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I know I've made this argument myself many times, but I'm starting to think that we're moving in the wrong direction when we respond to critics of fanfic and pulp romance by saying stuff like "Dante's Inferno was fanfic!" or "Jane Austen was dismissed as silly romance!"

Like yeah, transformative works can be just as creative and deep as original fiction, and romance-centric stories can be literature in their own right, but also…. it's fucking okay to read stuff that isn't like that?

Controversial opinion, but if your idea of a good read is a series of <200 word short stories about characters from your favourite TV show trying to book a hotel room only to discover that (shocker) THERE WAS ONLY ONE BED!!! then that's honestly just as valid a recreational activity as reading Remains of the Day or The Brothers Karamazov.

Do the works have equal complexity or literary significance? No, probably not, but that doesn't actually matter if the question is "what to read in the evenings so I can destress before bed?" or "what to entertain myself with while on holiday?"

It's not like we treat other forms of media this way. No one feels the need to justify having a generic flower painting on the wall by comparing it to Van Gogh's Sunflowers. Nobody excuses playing pop songs in the car by pointing out that "Mozart was the Taylor Swift of his day!"

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying people don't get snobbish about this stuff. People get snobbish about anything. But reading is really the only hobby where it seems common practice to validate this snobbery by insisting that actually your preferred form of fiction is literature after all.

We all get that there are people who are consumed by a deep passion for art, or music, or food, or whatever, and that many of these people enjoy spending a lot of time (sometimes in professional settings) analysing various works to determine which ones are the most complex and culturally significant.

That's fine, we wish them well and they're probably doing good work.

But we also get that there are other people who just want to watch popcorn films or listen to whatever's on the radio atm while eating oven pizza, and that's also completely fine. Those things aren't invalid just because you couldn't write an academic essay on them, they're fulfilling a completely different but equally important function in our lives!

As someone with a literal degree in this stuff, it's fine to just let reading be one of those background things that you do purely to relax and don't put any thought into. Literally nobody has the time or energy to become a connoisseur in every field, and the average person will run themselves into the ground if they try.

Bread and roses are important, yeah, but so are bubblegum and fairy lights. Not everything has to be either work or educational.

#in defence of low art #fiction #writing #books #discourse #reading #culture #fanfiction #fanfic

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talllankyguy · 11 months ago

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I don’t think hbomberguy managed to make this point in his video, but there are valid/ethical ways of making “video essays” that only use your own knowledge and opinions. Yeah, they’re more like personal essays and you’ll have to know how to communicate your own ideas in a way that’s interesting and engaging on their own merits, but there’s nothing wrong with writing about a piece of media with only your own ideas & thoughts.

When I was working on my own video about the game Superliminal, I had the idea to email the developers to see if they had done any research into therapy (specifically CBT), so that I could get a handle on the same information they used to craft the experience of the game. So I emailed them, and got a reply.

I can’t find the email itself anymore, but it basically said “I think it’d be more interesting for the video if you wrote more on your own experience of the game rather than whatever we put into it.” So that’s what I did, and while the video isn’t perfect, I’m really proud of the fact that I made a whole argument solely based on my experience of the art.

And you can do that too! If you want to just give your own personal thoughts and put a lot of effort into communicating them clearly, do that! That’s still an essay! Maybe not one with a lot of “academic” foundation to it, but putting something into the world that’s imperfect but entirely yours is so much better than something that’s refined and high-budget only because you bypassed the writing step by stealing other people’s work.

WITH ALL THAT SAID. It does help to look up things if you feel like you’re making an unfounded statement that should probably be supported by another source, and in that case you do need to make sure you do your due diligence to avoid the “mistakes” of the people hbomberguy has called out. But as someone who watches a lot of very research-heavy channels like Philosophy Tube, hbomberguy, FD Signifier and others, it’s really easy to get bogged down and discouraged by that step in the process. So it’s totally okay to get your practice in by making videos that are more opinion-saturated, and steadily figure out how you can ethically work outside sources into your essays. If I learned anything from my university English paper-writing days, it’s that it’s far more important for you to bring your own original thoughts to the table and argue their own merits than it is to show how other academics might agree with you.

#youtube #hbomberguy #video essay

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luv4kokafox · 9 months ago

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Wow how do u get the motivation to study like this?

I actually get this question a lot, so I’ve tried to put some tips together that help me to stay concentrated for as much time as possible! 🙏

Here's how I do 3-5+ hours of revision each day on top of school*:

1. Set achievable goals

Everyone falls into the trap of thinking they can do more than they think, but ultimately it just makes you feel bad :( There’s nothing worse than feeling unfulfilled at the end of the day because you haven’t “completed your work.”

They best thing you can do is write out your tasks that need to be completed, ordering them in terms of priority and then get cracking! It’s important to note that forcing yourself to do work will never help, it’ll just make the work looked rushed and won’t be your best, do what you can and don’t feel disheartened if you leave something uncompleted for now!! (finish it eventually, ofc ☺️)

2. Don’t put work over your other needs!

I’ve heard some people say that they’ve put off snacking/drinking and hanging out with friends just so that they can study. I can almost 100% guarantee this will just make you more upset!! If you want to go out, go out. If you want to snack, go get a snack! Don’t ever put off your needs for some short term work when we both know you’d be a lot happier talking to your friends 🩷

I know that out there, there are some people who will tell you they forget to eat or drink when they work. Please do not let this influence you. Everyone works differently, and their way is not healthy.

3. Time management

Setting up a revision timetable, with time blocks or not, can really help you to set out an idea of work you’d like to complete! Make it colour coordinated!! Stick it up in your room, or throw it on your home/lockscreen for a reminder!

Everyone works a little differently, for example, I do have a timetable, but I don’t use it in extensive detail. If something else has higher importance, I’ll finish that. If I know that working on a subject really won’t “help” at the time (I’ll go over this later 😋) then I’ll ignore it. It's helpful to have the idea, but don’t restrict yourself to just what you've written on the timetable!

4. Apps!!

I've also found it helps to have a non-academic goal to work towards! I use an app called “Flora” to set time goals and write to-do lists that helps me to get through the nights. For each task I have, the app plants a virtual tree or plant in your garden! You can customise the garden, the title of your tasks and each plant that you grow. The best thing about this app is that it restricts apps on your phone (you can choose which ones!). It acts as a massive deterrent to spending time on your phone and helps you to focus on your work! You can also work with friends and grow trees together, completely free :)

There are many apps like this, Flora is just the one that I use. Take some time to find one just for you!! (flora is the best tho <3)

5. Choosing the right focus

So you have some homework due in a couple of days, an essay next week and a project due in in a month. You're really not feeling good about the homework and the essay just really isn't up your street right now, but that project? You wanna do that! And thats fine!! It's never good to miss deadlines and procrastinate, but if you feel like doing that work now will just lead to it being rushed and feeling incomplete, leave it until later on! Forcing yourself to do a task might make you relieved when you're finished, but it's no way to cheer yourself up.

By all means, don't miss deadlines because of this! You should always try to complete assignments right as they're set rather than leaving them until last minute. Getting compulsory work done leaves more time for you to be yourself, work on your own ideas and have that extra edge above anyone else!

*3-5+ hours on top of schoolwork is a big commitment. I understand this, and everyone is different. Please do not think that this is how much you should be doing, or how much is what makes a "good student." Do what feels right for YOU.

That's all from me, if anyone has any other questions on how I revise or how to revise, ask away! <3

Have a good day everyone!

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transmutationisms · 1 year ago

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sorry could you explain your chatgpt essay thing again? i get the general gist of it (who cares if they cheat) but i still cant grasp it entirely as someone who hasnt experienced the college system 💔 i had thought that essays were a foundational part of undergrad education? and so cheating on that part would essentially mean that: a) their education/understanding is "invalid" b) it discredits the work of other people in the same system/their classmates c) their future publications/written work in academia are going to be of worse quality d) in cases of people going to non academia jobs, like being a doctor or a lawyer, this would negatively impact their clients e) they have bad work ethic = will not survive job industry

my guesses are that just in general theres no direct correlation between these things but ppl assume there will be? and that if a plagiarized essay ruins everything then the system wasnt rlly that good?

the only one im rlly unsure of is the second one, but i suppose thats always been a problem with any type of academic cheating amongst peers, and will persist unless academic rankings/validation of excellence/general attitudes toward "success" r also banished. still, while i rlly dont care abt anyone i know cheating on stuff like this lol, i cant help but empathize w students struggling under that same system feeling frustrated. tho Man seeing the lack of empathy they, in turn, can have with chatgpt users. idk, is it just a lose lose situation until you get through the system?

ok sorry again and also thanks

hi, no worries. let me try to break down my position here.

i had thought that essays were a foundational part of undergrad education

i mean, this varies widely by course / degree / department. but, even when it's true, it doesn't mean that the essay is inherently a valuable or helpful exercise. undergrad essays tend to ask for one of a few very formulaic responses and ways of structuring an argument. essays also often have a specific prompt, which can be better or worse in terms of its potential to generate engagement with the course / material. often professors who are getting a lot of chatgpt essays turned in are designing essays poorly (ie, asking for the types of formulaic responses that students find unengaging and unhelpful for their own academic development), and / or failing to provide instruction and support in how to actually write an essay.

on a more fundamental level, we often take for granted that essays are and should be foundational to an undergrad education, but i simply don't think this is self-evident or always true! what are we training students to do, and why? there are certainly jobs, career paths, and academic research areas in which essay-writing is an important skill. there are others in which it's not. the assumption that all undergrads need to demonstrate the same sorts of writing skills says more about the university and what pedagogues value than it does about those students' actual chances for future career success / financial stability. if we're designing assignments that, for many students, are mere hoops to jump through, then we shouldn't be surprised that many of them find ways to make the hoop-jumping faster and easier.

so cheating on that part would essentially mean that: a) their education/understanding is "invalid"

again, what i'm trying to get at here is larger questions about what we value in education, and why. it's true that if you don't practice writing the type of essay the academy demands of you, you won't learn that skill. but, why do we assume that skill is useful, valuable, or necessary in the first place? how many people actually need to write that way outside of undergrad classrooms? even for those who are intending to pursue a career in academia, the writing taught in undergrad should be, at best, a stepping-stone on the path to more effective and interesting means of written communication. once again, if the skill being mandated by the university is not useful for students, it should not be surprising that many of them resent having to demonstrate it, and turn to tools like chatgpt instead.

b) it discredits the work of other people in the same system/their classmates

this is an argument that many educators make, and i wholeheartedly disagree with it! first of all, i simply do not believe that student a's academic performance is relevant to the assessment of student b's. if a professor is grading that way, that's terrible grading and a terrible pedagogical philosophy. if a student has learned something from their coursework, that shouldn't be undercut or devalued by anything that their classmates have or haven't done.

what this type of argument points to on a deeper level is the fact that university degrees have acquired a sort of double meaning. although the university likes to propagate high-minded rhetoric about the intrinsic value of education, the degree granted is a class barrier that serves to allow certain people access to certain (usually promised to be higher-paying) jobs, and bar others from these jobs. this is a large part of what i'm talking about when i say that the university serves to perpetuate and enforce class stratification. and their narrative about degrees being markers of individual merit and achievement is undercut by the fact that they also plainly fear losing prestige status by granting degrees to those students considered 'unworthy'. if you can make it through an undergrad education without learning the skills the university purports to teach, that's a pretty massive indictment of the university—which, remember, is collecting a lot of tuition money for these degrees.

c) their future publications/written work in academia are going to be of worse quality

lots of assumptions baked in here—that undergrad essay-writing teaches 'good' (effective / clear) writing; that many academics don't already write poorly by these metrics; that aspiring academics have no other way of learning written communication skills (eg, outside of the academy, or in grad school).

d) in cases of people going to non academia jobs, like being a doctor or a lawyer, this would negatively impact their clients

firstly, i would again point out that in many non-academic jobs, academic writing is simply not a necessary skill; secondly, in both of the examples you cite here, these are people who need to go through a lot more schooling and training after undergrad, where they pick up what written communication skills they actually do need (eg, legal writing looks nothing like standard undergrad essay-writing anyway); thirdly, MANY people getting an undergraduate degree are intending to pursue jobs for which they need neither undergrad essay-writing skills, nor further higher education—there are so many reasons a person might want / need a college degree, and so many careers in which this specific academic skillset is simply not relevant for them.

e) they have bad work ethic = will not survive job industry

again, i think this is making some pretty big unstated assumptions! in general i don't really think that 'work ethic' (or the related 'laziness') is a useful way to try to evaluate people's behaviour, and this is a good example of one way in which it fails. if, like i said, we are dealing with a system in which people are told they need to receive a degree in order to have access to jobs they want and financial stability they need; and in which many of them are being forced to demonstrate a specific writing skill they may never need again and may have no interest in; and in which they are often not even receiving adequate training and help to learn and demonstrate that skill, even if they do want to; and in which they may be working other jobs, caring for family members, dealing with disabilities the institution does not provide support for, or any number of other life circumstances that make schoolwork difficult at best to complete; and in which a tool exists that may be able to help them complete some of this work freely and quickly... like, i simply do not fault students for using that tool!

there are so many points of failure in this system long before we get to this moment: the increasing pressure to get a college degree in the first place; the poorly designed curricula that prioritise skills considered 'standard' (for whom? why?) over skills that students actually need or want to acquire; professors who don't actually teach students how to write, yet expect them to turn in essay assignments anyway; specific essay assignments that are uninteresting and / or unhelpful to students; lack of support for students who are struggling with their workload or assignments in any number of ways (and no, 'come to office hours' is not adequate support for so many students and situations).

i simply do not care about people 'cheating' a system that is so fundamentally broken and unjust. it doesn't matter. the ability to write an undergrad essay is such an incredibly trivial and specific skill, and one that most people simply do not need. it doesn't make a person generally 'smarter' (fake concept) and certainly does not make them any more competent at the vast majority of jobs, careers, or general life skills. even for those very few who do need to know this specific thing, i reject the assumption that the university is the only way to learn it, or even a particularly effective way. once again, if chatgpt is successfully completing assignments, maybe those assignments weren't very good in the first place! and even the theoretical amazing professor is simply not able to counter all of the structural issues and inequities in the university system that produce students' desire to turn to tools like chatgpt in the first place. the textbot itself is simply not the issue here.

#academia #long post

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sideprince · 9 months ago

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I wrote a reply to this post but OP has deleted it and even though I should probably leave well enough alone, it got to me that I could have sworn I saw this post months ago and then realized it was actually from yesterday. This is a long reply so I'm putting it under a cut, but after I went to OP's blog and saw a post from them complaining how mean everyone was to them on this post, I replied to say I'm sorry if they got any anon hate I don't know about but otherwise none of the comments on this post were mean or hateful, they just disagreed with OP. I pointed out that this is partly because they cited non-canon events as canon, and OP immediately blocked me (this may be why I can't reblog the post even from another user, though that's not how tumblr usually works so who knows). I can't help but feel that OP's post was made in bad faith, as a result, and I've seen enough people on this hellsite who are more interested in protecting their egos than admit when they could have been approached something more thoughtfully, so I'm diving in. If you're going to say a character "is very interesting to study" while doing the exact opposite, then you'd better have the critical analysis skills and textual evidence to back it up.

I think OP has some misconceptions that are frustratingly common, and seem to stem from people not having read the books, or not read them for a long time, and conflating the movies with canon. While I mostly agree with the replies above, I want to take this opportunity to cite the text to refute some of OP's points. I often forget details from the text, but I choose to either look them up before asserting unconfirmed points as fact (Potter Search is a great tool, or you can just do a ctrl+F search if you have the books digitally), or else I usually state clearly that I'm not sure if I remember something correctly and don't have the spoons to look it up.

I saw OP say in the comments in response to someone arguing their points:

"that's your interpretation, I have mine, I think both can coexist within the material we are given."

It doesn't sit right with me that so many people think that referring to their subjective memory of what the text meant to them is the same as actually citing it and offering an explanation. OP's interpretation can't exist within the material given, because some of it doesn't exist in the material at all, and you can't interpret what isn't there. OP is essentially claiming to have done critical analysis, and although no one is required to always critique a text analytically on a tumblr post, I find it upsetting when people claim to do so while failing to cite a single source to support their argument. To me it sounds like someone trying to pass off a creative writing essay as an academic research paper, and in an age of rampant propaganda and knee-jerk reblogs that eschew critical thinking, I feel an almost compulsive need to go through OP's reply and argue it with the textual evidence they conveniently avoided, if for no other reason than to show why it's important to discern between loosely formed opinions and informed ones.

I also want to explain why I don't accept the films as canon, because while I do think that canon can exist across several mediums (such as with Good Omens, in which at least one of the writers of the text is directly involved in writing the TV series), I don't think that applies to Harry Potter because the original author was only marginally involved in the films, in only a consultant role, and had little input on the writing. The HP films are an interpretation as written from the perspective of Steve Kloves, except for OoTP, which was written by Michael Goldenberg. I've gone into it on other posts, but suffice to say these interpretations did not prioritize story and character development and were often influenced by pressure from the studio to prioritize marketing opportunities over storytelling. Important elements like foreshadowing and themes were not carried over from the text to the screen. These changes affected the storytelling significantly and left out crucial elements. This, combined with the films having been written with little to no involvement from the original author, is why I feel the films can't be taken as canon. This doesn't mean they can't be enjoyed by any means, just that they scenes that appear in the films but not in the text, or are presented differently on screen than in the text, are not a reasonable basis for character analysis.

And now, on to OP's ask:

"I think he is a very good representation of a man who felt insecure in his manhood; his male ego was permanently wounded by James' bullying and he decided to make it everyone else's problem by being the most insufferable teacher at Hogwarts."

The first thing we have to establish is that the books are told from Harry's perspective, so we have to take narrative bias into account. Calling Snape "the most insufferable teacher at Hogwarts" is a subjective statement and I can only assume it's based in Harry's biased perspective as narrator, given that he and Snape have a bad relationship from the outset. I have a brief analysis here about how Snape dislikes Harry because in their first class together he interprets Harry's ignorance of the course material as a lack of curiosity and appreciation for his gifts as a wizard, while also recognizing something of his own experiences with childhood poverty and abuse in Harry. Harry, being ignorant of these factors, just feels singled out for hate by a strict teacher, and their relationship deteriorates throughout the rest of the series, until the end of the final book.

To pull back from the narrative bias, let's look at some of the other teachers are Hogwarts:

McGonagall:

“Miss Granger, you foolish girl, how could you think of tackling a mountain troll on your own?” Hermione hung her head. Harry was speechless. Hermione was the last person to do anything against the rules, and here she was, pretending she had, to get them out of trouble. It was as if Snape had started handing out sweets. “Miss Granger, five points will be taken from Gryffindor for this,” said Professor McGonagall. “I’m very disappointed in you. If you’re not hurt at all, you’d better get off to Gryffindor Tower. Students are finishing the feast in their Houses.”

Philosopher's Stone, Ch. 10.

“I’m disgusted,” said Professor McGonagall. “Four students out of bed in one night! I’ve never heard of such a thing before! You, Miss Granger, I thought you had more sense. As for you, Mr. Potter, I thought Gryffindor meant more to you than this. All three of you will receive detentions — yes, you too, Mr. Longbottom, nothing gives you the right to walk around school at night, especially these days, it’s very dangerous — and fifty points will be taken from Gryffindor.” “Fifty?” Harry gasped — they would lose the lead, the lead he’d won in the last Quidditch match. “Fifty points each,” said Professor McGonagall, breathing heavily through her long, pointed nose.

Philosopher's Stone, Ch. 15

In just the first book we see McGonagall punish Hermione for successfully defending herself against a troll and take house points, then sends her back to her common room without getting medical attention, as if a ten year old can be responsible for assessing how badly they're hurt. A few chapters later McGonagall takes several hundred points from students in her own house (more than we see any other teacher do at one time throughout the series), and assigns the students detention on top of it. As we later see in the same chapter, the detentions aren't even served with her directly, but instead the children - again, ten years old - are sent into the Forbidden Forest at night with only Hagrid to protect them, to hunt down whatever creature is vicious and cunning enough to kill unicorns.

Although it's said that Snape favors the students in his own house, he doesn't seem to be the only one:

“Potter's been sent a broomstick, Professor,” said Malfoy quickly. “Yes, yes, that’s right,” said Professor Flitwick, beaming at Harry. “Professor McGonagall told me all about the special circumstances, Potter. And what model is it?” “A Nimbus Two Thousand, sir,” said Harry, fighting not to laugh at the look of horror on Malfoy’s face. “And it’s really thanks to Malfoy here that I’ve got it,” he added.

Philosopher's Stone, Ch. 10

Not only did McGonagall make an exception to school practices and allow Harry on his house Quidditch team despite being a first year, she used either school funds or her own (unclear) to purchase a first-rate broom for him. We know the school has brooms, as first years are not allowed their own and they are provided for flying lessons, and because “Harry had heard Fred and George Weasley complain about the school brooms” (PS ch. 9). And yet, McGonagall ensures Harry has his own broom, and an expensive one, new enough to be the show model in a shop window in Diagon Alley a few months earlier:

“Several boys of about Harry’s age had their noses pressed against a window with broomsticks in it. ‘Look,’ Harry heard one of them say, ‘the new Nimbus Two Thousand - fastest ever -”

-Philosopher's Stone, Ch. 5

If we're discussing which teachers are Hogwarts are the most "insufferable" then we also have to talk about Hagrid, who might mean well and be affectionate, but is also irresponsible and dangerous.

In Philosopher's Stone, Hagrid:

Punishes Dudley, a child, for his parents' offenses, the final straw being his father insulting Dumbledore (Ch. 4). While Hagrid acknowledges that he shouldn't have lost his temper, he also admits that his intention had been to turn Dudley fully into a pig.

Hatches a dragon in his cabin (Ch. 14), tries to raise it illegally and against the animal's need of care, and Harry, Ron, and Hermione (again, ten year olds) have to fix the situation and get Ron's brother to find some friends to take the dragon away safely and prevent Hagrid losing his job (Ch. 14). In the process Hagrid endangers himself as well as the children, and it's because of this that McGonagall gives them detention and deducts hundreds of house points. Hagrid not only allows the children to endanger themselves for his sake, but to be punished and subsequently ostracized by their peers also for his sake.

The reason he even has a dragon is, as we find out in Ch. 16, because he was foolish enough to accept it from a faceless stranger in exchange for unwittingly divulging the secret to getting past the three headed dog guarding the Philosopher's Stone (and the stranger later turns out to be Quirrel/Voldemort).

In Prisoner of Azkaban, Hagrid:

Starts his first lesson with a volatile creature (Ch. 6) and, although Malfoy acted irresponsibly, Hagrid was nevertheless the teacher and responsible for providing course material consistent with the experience level and maturity of his students' age.

Gets drunk and has to be taken care of by Harry, Ron, and Hermione (again, children) (Ch. 6)

Skipping ahead to Order of the Phoenix ch. 30, we find out Hagrid

Compromised his return from the mission Dumbledore sent him on by bringing a giant back to England.

Brought said giant into the school grounds and left him in the Forbidden Forest.

Asks Harry and Hermione (still children) to look after him if Hagrid is sacked.

Although Hagrid means well, his actions are consistently thoughtless and irresponsible, requiring those around him - often Harry, Ron, and Hermione - to fix the damage he causes. Although I think it remains subjective which teacher at Hogwarts is the "most insufferable" I think Hagrid is a strong enough candidate to qualify OP's interpretation of Snape holding that title as extremely contestable. Of course, since the books are presented through the lens of Harry's narrative bias, and he's fond of Hagrid, respects McGonagall, and dislikes Snape, an uncritical reading could lead one to OP's conclusions. However, a more objective analysis of the text shows that many teachers at Hogwarts are strict, punitive, biased, and wreak havoc on students in ways that make the Snape's actions look fairly tame, or at least the norm. And this is excluding an analysis of various DADA professors like Lockhart and Crouch/Moody, who were insufferable in their own rights (Lockhart was smarmy and dishonest to the point it risked students' lives; Crouch/Moodly transfigured a child into a ferret and humiliated him with torture as a disciplinary measure and deliberately triggered Neville's trauma in class).

OP continues their reply to say:

Add to this that he is a halfblood and only his mother was around, iirc?

They don't recall correctly. Snape, whose father was a muggle and whose mother was a witch, was indeed a half-blood (as is evidenced by him being revealed to be the Half-Blood Prince - I assume I don't need to cite a source as this is a pretty well-known fact and the literal title of an entire HP book, but should you need a reference it's in Ch. 28 of HBP). Both his parents were around in his childhood:

Snape staggered - his wand flew upwards, away from Harry - and suddenly Harry’s mind was teeming with memories that were not his: a hook-nosed man was shouting at a cowering woman, while a small dark-haired boy cried in a corner …

-Order of the Phoenix, Ch. 26

‘How are things at your house?’ Lily asked. A little crease appeared between his eyes. ‘Fine,’ he said. ‘They’re not arguing any more?’ ‘Oh, yes, they’re arguing,’ said Snape. He picked up a fistful of leaves and began tearing them apart, apparently unaware of what he was doing. ‘But it won’t be that long and I’ll be gone.’ ‘Doesn’t your dad like magic?’ ‘He doesn’t like anything, much,’ said Snape.

-Deathly Hallows, Ch. 33

We know that Snape's father was around because he's mentioned both in Snape's memories in OoTP that Harry accidentally invades during an Occlumency lesson, and when we see in Snape's memories that he gives Harry as he dies. Lily asks about his home life by referring to both his parents, implying that his dad is a consistent presence at home. We also know from JK Rowling that Snape's father "didn't hold back when it came to the whip" but this is supplementary and not mentioned in canon, so I don't expect anyone to refer to it when analyzing the text, I'm just adding it as bonus material.

Continuing on with OP's reply:

Snape, Voldemort and Harry all act like foils of each other in that sense, but whereas Voldemort fixated on his blood status as the main reason for his insecurities, Snape fixated on Lily.

So much to unpack here. Firstly, all of this should be backed up by examples from the text, as they are subjective readings that have significant bearing on character analysis.

Snape, Harry, and Voldemort don't act like foils of each other. For one thing, a character doesn't act like a foil, a character either is or isn't one. That being said, I don't know OP's background and there could be a language barrier because English isn't everyone's first language, I'm just being pedantic. Even with that in mind, the statement remains incorrect. A foil is a literary device - a character who contrasts with another character, often with the protagonist. It is not a choice a character makes or an action they take.

In Philosopher's Stone Snape is set up as a foil to Harry in order to misdirect the reader from suspecting the real villain, Quirrel/Voldemort. Snape is presented as secretive, sneaky, and nefarious, contrasting Harry's role as a protagonist who is outspoken, honest, and brave. As the series progresses, Snape, along with Voldemort, are eventually shown to have more parallels than contrasts with Harry. Snape and Voldemort were born into muggle poverty, and although Harry was raised in a middle class home by the Dursleys, they thrust poverty and neglect onto him in a way that parallels his childhood of neglect and want with that of Snape and Voldemort. Snape's father was abusive, as was Harry's guardian, Vernon Dursley. Harry, Voldemort, and Snape all had traumatic experiences growing up in muggle environments. If anything, Snape and Voldemort might be foils to Harry in that they both harbored resentment for their muggle fathers in ways that signified the separation between the wizarding and muggle world, while Harry's experiences with the Dursleys didn't color his image of muggles in a comparable way.

The contrast between Harry, Snape, and Voldemort is in the way each of them deals with their trauma. As Dumbledore says:

"It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities."

-Chamber of Secrets, Ch. 18

This becomes one of the overarching themes of the HP series, Harry, Snape, and Voldemort are all examples of how their choices took them to such different places in life from their comparable childhoods.

At school Voldemort was a handsome boy with talent, intelligence, and the recommendations of his teachers, but he chose to pursue power instead of success:

“He reached the seventh year of his schooling with, as you might have expected, top grades in every examination he had taken. All around him, his classmates were deciding which jobs they were to pursue once they had left Hogwarts. Nearly everybody expected spectacular things from Tom Riddle, prefect, Head Boy, winner of the Special Award for Services to the School. I know that several teachers, Professor Slughorn amongst them, suggested that he join the Ministry of Magic, offered to set up appointments, put him in touch with useful contacts. He refused all offers. The next thing the staff knew, Voldemort was working at Borgin and Burkes.”

Half-Blood Prince, Ch. 20

Snape chose to become a Death Eater for reasons we can only assume. We know he was in Slytherin during an era when Voldemort was in power and many of his allies had children in Slytherin house. At least two of Snape's dorm-mates, Mulciber and Avery, are canonically acknowledged to have become Death Eaters (both are present at the Ministry when Harry and his friends fight the Death Eaters in the Department of Mysteries in OoTP Ch. 35). It's unclear whether Snape chose to become a Death Eater out of admiration for them or out of peer pressure, or perhaps a lack of other options, while at school:

'… thought we were supposed to be friends?’ Snape was saying. ‘Best friends?’ ‘We are, Sev, but I don’t like some of the people you’re hanging around with! I’m sorry, but I detest Avery and Mulciber! Mulciber! What do you see in him, Sev? He’s creepy! D’you know what he tried to do to Mary Macdonald the other day?’ Lily had reached a pillar and leaned against it, looking up into the thin, sallow face. ‘That was nothing,’ said Snape. ‘It was a laugh, that’s all -‘ ‘It was Dark Magic, and if you think that’s funny -‘ ‘What about the stuff Potter and his mates get up to?’ demanded Snape. His colour rose again as he said it, unable, it seemed, to hold in his resentment.

-Deathly Hallows, Ch. 33

It's unclear what Snape thinks of Avery and Mulciber, as his reply to Lily is downplaying but doesn't defend their actions. We see Snape's indecisiveness later in the argument he has with Lily after he calls her a Mudblood:

'It’s too late. I’ve made excuses for you for years. None of my friends can understand why I even talk to you. You and your precious little Death Eater friends - you see, you don’t even deny it! You don’t even deny that’s what you’re all aiming to be! You can’t wait to join You-Know-Who, can you?’ He opened his mouth, but closed it without speaking. ‘I can’t pretend any more. You’ve chosen your way, I’ve chosen mine.’ ‘No - listen, I didn’t mean -‘ ‘- to call me Mudblood? But you call everyone of my birth Mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different?'

-Deathly Hallows, Ch. 33

Although Snape does ultimately choose to become a Death Eater, we see in his reply to Lily about both Avery and Mulciber and later her assumption that they all want to become Death Eaters that Snape doesn't argue for or against her accusations, but instead is evasive and unsure of himself. He opens his mouth to speak when she accuses him of wanting to become a Death Eater, but then closes it again without saying anything - he can neither argue against her point, nor state clearly, let alone with any kind of conviction, that this is indeed his ambition. It can be argued that it's the passivity of his choice that lands him with a Dark Mark on his arm, and it's the active choice he makes to risk his life in order to defect from Voldemort's ranks and turn spy that defines his character and without which Harry could not have defeated Voldemort.

Harry, as the protagonist, is also significantly defined by the theme of choice:

'But, sir,’ said Harry, making valiant efforts not to sound argumentative, ‘it all comes to the same thing, doesn’t it? I’ve got to try and kill him, or -‘ ‘Got to?’ said Dumbledore. ‘Of course you’ve got to! But not because of the prophecy! Because you, yourself, will never rest until you’ve tried! We both know it! Imagine, please, just for a moment, that you had never heard that prophecy! How would you feel about Voldemort now? Think!’ Harry watched Dumbledore striding up and down in front of him, and thought. He thought of his mother, his father and Sirius. He thought of Cedric Diggory. He thought of all the terrible deeds he knew Lord Voldemort had done. A flame seemed to leap inside his chest, searing his throat. ‘I’d want him finished,’ said Harry quietly. ‘And I’d want to do it.’ ‘Of course you would!’ cried Dumbledore. ‘You see, the prophecy does not mean you have to do anything! But the prophecy caused Lord Voldemort to mark you as his equal … in other words, you are free to choose your way, quite free to turn your back on the prophecy! But Voldemort continues to set store by the prophecy. He will continue to hunt you … which makes it certain, really, that -' ‘That one of us is going to end up killing the other,’ said Harry. ‘Yes.'

-Half-Blood Prince, Ch. 33

There's a clear point made by the author through Dumbledore as her proxy here, that choice is what matters, not fate. It's Harry's choices that make him the person he is and lead him to eventually defeat Voldemort. While Snape, Voldemort, and Harry all can be contrasted through the lens of their choices, this does not make them foils, as it is the the theme of choice and how it is exemplified by each character that makes them unique, but their experiences and many of their character traits (boldness, bravery, a personal sense of conviction) that make them parallels of one another. Each of them occupies their own place on the spectrum between the light and dark that the series establishes, Voldemort at the dark end, Harry at the light, and Snape in the grey area between them.

OP goes on to say:

His character is all about male entitlement, he was obsessed with her at Hogwarts and then showed to have no boundaries as he went into her house to cradle her dead body in front of her traumatized kid.

There's a lot to unpack here, and it's particularly challenging because you can't provide textual evidence for something that didn't happen in the text. After the above scene from Ch. 33 of DH in which Lily ends her friendship with Snape, we never see them interact again:

'No - listen, I didn’t mean -‘ ‘- to call me Mudblood? But you call everyone of my birth Mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different?’ He struggled on the verge of speech, but with a contemptuous look she turned and climbed back through the portrait hole … The corridor dissolved, and the scene took a little longer to reform: Harry seemed to fly through shifting shapes and colours until his surroundings solidified again and he stood on a hilltop, forlorn and cold in the darkness, the wind whistling through the branches of a few leafless trees. The adult Snape was panting, turning on the spot, his wand gripped tightly in his hand, waiting for something or for someone …'

-Deathly Hallows, Ch. 33

The scene in the corridor in front of Gryffindor Tower between a fifth year Snape and Lily leads directly into the scene where Snape begs Dumbledore to protect the Potters (which I wrote an analysis of a few months ago but is too long a subject to derail this post for). We see no more interactions between Snape and Lily, and therefore there is no canonical support for the idea that Snape behaved obsessively or failed to respect her boundaries.

There's also no mention of Snape going to Godric's Hollow at all after her death. Snape holding Lily's dead body is only shown in the film version of Deathly Hallows, and as mentioned, the films are not canon. That moment doesn't exist in the text and can't be considered in an analysis of Snape's character. The scene on the hilltop leads directly into the scene of Snape crying in Dumbledore's office:

The hilltop faded, and Harry stood in Dumbledore’s office, and something was making a terrible sound, like a wounded animal. Snape was slumped forwards in a chair and Dumbledore was standing over him, looking grim. After a moment or two, Snape raised his face, and he looked like a man who had lived a hundred years of misery since leaving the wild hilltop. ‘I thought … you were going … to keep her … safe …’ ‘She and James put their faith in the wrong person,’ said Dumbledore. ‘Rather like you, Severus. Weren’t you hoping that Lord Voldemort would spare her?’ Snape’s breathing was shallow.

-Deathly Hallows, Ch. 33

This is the only depiction of Snape immediately following the Potters' deaths. The scene of him cradling Lily's dead body was Steve Kloves' invention and has no basis in canon. If anything, Snape's actions in canon can be interpreted to show that he respected the boundaries Lily set, and that even when her life was at risk he chose to go to Dumbledore - who he thought might kill him on sight - rather than talk to her directly after she ended their friendship. In addition, in all the information the text gives about the night Voldemort fell in Godric's Hollow and Hagrid collected Harry to take him to Privet Drive, there's no mention of Snape whatsoever.

There isn't much in the text to support the interpretation that Snape exemplified male entitlement either. So far we've seen him being as strict, if not milder, than other teachers at the school, his favoritism is also comparable to that of other teachers - implying it's more of a norm than an example of entitlement - and there are no canonical examples to support the argument that he was obsessed with Lily or violated her boundaries. Snape struggles to argue with Lily when she accuses and berates him, and the usual markers of patriarchal entitlement - silencing women, gaslighting, dismissing women's opinions, talking over them - are all nowhere to be found in any of their interactions. The only time we see him lash out at Lily is when he calls her Mudblood (OoTP Ch. 28) which, while inexcusable, he does under traumatic duress, and is not indicative of his usual interactions with her, as exemplified by the fact that she ends their friendship over it. As cited before:

'No - listen, I didn’t mean -‘ ‘- to call me Mudblood? But you call everyone of my birth Mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different?’

There's a clear implication that Snape has never called her this before. An argument can also be made that it speaks volumes of Lily's own biases, or perhaps her own affection for Snape (who, not long before this, was still her best friend), that she excused this behavior from him when it was directed at others, and only took issue with it when it was directed at herself. That, combined with Lily's own acknowledgment that they were "best friends" shows that Snape's relationship with her was a balanced, consensual one even when it became strained, up until their friendship ended.

Continuing with OP's points:

He only saw Lily as a trophy to be possessed, which you can see from the way he hated Harry, because Harry reminded him Lily wasn't his and that Lily had sex with another man.

There's no support for this in the text anywhere and is pure conjecture. I can appreciate it being OP's headcanon, but it's certainly not a result of studying the text and relying on it to form opinions, but rather seems to be OP projecting pre-conceived notions onto Snape as a character and trying to find justification for it. I've written a whole post extrapolating Snape's first class with Harry, but the tl;dr is that Snape, who grew up in muggle poverty and knew Aunt Petunia enough to guess that Harry didn't fare well in her care when he showed up at school bearing signs of neglect, likely expected Harry to have the same hunger for learning that he himself did at Harry's age. Instead, Harry couldn't answer a single one of his questions and showed no curiosity or enthusiasm towards being a wizard as far as Snape could tell.

Nevertheless, even though Snape did seem to dislike Harry, hate is an awful strong word given that it is revealed at the end of Deathly Hallows that Snape has risked his own life to protect him. This isn't particularly surprising when you consider that this goal was established as early as Philosopher's Stone, when Snape protected him, which Harry initially interpreted as Snape trying to kill him:

Harry couldn’t take it in. This couldn’t be true, it couldn’t. ‘But Snape tried to kill me!’ ‘No, no, no. I tried to kill you. Your friend Miss Granger accidentally knocked me over as she rushed to set fire to Snape at that Quidditch match. She broke my eye contact with you. Another few seconds and I’d have got you off that broom. I’d have managed it before then if Snape hadn’t been muttering a counter-curse, trying to save you.’ ‘Snape was trying to save me?’ ‘Of course,’ said Quirrell coolly. -Philosopher's Stone, Ch. 17

Again, the story is told through the lens of Harry's bias, but that doesn't mean his opinions of Snape reflect Snape's character. As another example, there's an implication in OoTP that Snape, having seen some of the Dursleys' abuse of Harry through his memories during Occlumency lessons, passed this information on in an effort to protect Harry, and that this is the reason why several Order members (Arthur Weasley and Moody in particular) show up at King's Cross at the end of the schoolyear and threaten the Dursleys to stop mistreating him. There seems to be no other explanation in the text for why these adults are suddenly aware of the abuse Harry experiences, except that Snape, who was abused as a child himself, and who is an Order member himself, is the only adult in the series who we see witness Harry's mistreatement firsthand. At no point in the narrative do we see Harry complain about the Dursleys to the adults he trusts or ask them for help, merely to spend his holidays away from them without explanation.

While Snape did indeed dislike Harry and often compared him to his father, his dislike for James had much more significant roots in bullying and trauma than in his concern for Lily's relationship with him. It's established in canon that James Potter and Sirius Black dislike Snape from the outset (as in the scene on the Hogwarts Express in DH Ch. 33). In their fifth year, Sirius - annoyed that Snape is so curious about where Lupin goes each month - tricks Snape into following the tunnel under the Whomping Willow to the Shrieking Shack, as Lupin tells Harry:

'Professor Snape was at school with us. ... Sirius here played a trick on him which nearly killed him, a trick which involved me -‘ Black made a derisive noise. ‘It served him right,’ he sneered. ‘Sneaking around, trying to find out what we were up to … hoping he could get us expelled …' 'Severus was very interested in where I went every month,’ Lupin told Harry, Ron and Hermione. ‘We were in the same year, you know, and we - er - didn’t like each other very much. He especially disliked James. Jealous, I think, of James’s talent on the Quidditch pitch … anyway, Snape had seen me crossing the grounds with Madam Pomfrey one evening as she led me towards the Whomping Willow to transform. Sirius thought it would be - er - amusing, to tell Snape all he had to do was prod the knot on the tree-trunk with a long stick, and he’d be able to get in after me. Well, of course, Snape tried it - if he’d got as far as this house, he’d have met a fully grown werewolf - but your father, who’d heard what Sirius had done, went after Snape and pulled him back, at great risk to his life … Snape glimpsed me, though, at the end of the tunnel. He was forbidden to tell anybody by Dumbledore, but from that time on he knew what I was …'

-Prisoner of Azkaban, Ch. 18

From this we can deduce that Sirius intended for Snape to die, or at least get severely injured, and that even as a grown adult Sirius doesn't regret trying to mete out this punishment to him as retaliation for curiosity. We can also deduce that Lupin was unaware of Sirius' intention and did not consent to be used as a weapon. For his part, Snape never did reveal that Lupin was a werewolf while at school, or even during that school year, until after Lupin ran amok on Hogwarts grounds, endangering others' lives, including Harry's.

There are other meta posts that go into Lupin's insecurities and vulnerabilities, but in short, he was grateful just to be allowed into the school as a student, let alone to have friends, and was in no position to challenge James and Sirius. Even as a prefect he didn't curb their behavior, as we see when he allows James to bully Snape later that year after their O.W.L.s:

'Leave him alone,’ Lily repeated. She was looking at James with every sign of great dislike. ‘What’s he done to you?’ ‘Well,’ said James, appearing to deliberate the point, ‘it’s more the fact that he exists, if you know what I mean …’ Many of the surrounding students laughed, Sirius and Wormtail included, but Lupin, still apparently intent on his book, didn’t, and nor did Lily. ‘You think you’re funny,’ she said coldly. ‘But you’re just an arrogant, bullying toerag, Potter. Leave him alone.’ ‘I will if you go out with me, Evans,’ said James quickly. ‘Go on … go out with me and I’ll never lay a wand on old Snivelly again.'

-Order of the Phoenix, Ch. 28

James acknowledges that he has no real reason to bully Snape and uses violence as a bargaining chip to coerce Lily into going out with him (James' behavior reflects much more entitlement than Snape's, in my opinion). He also chokes Snape with a bar of soap and then assaults him by dangling him upside down and removing his trousers (threatening to remove his underwear but we don't see it happen).

Lily herself refers to James as arrogant, and it's this trait, along with the trauma from James' bullying of him, that Snape perceives in Harry. He doesn't resent Harry for looking like his father because it reminds him that Lily had sex with another man, he resents him for it because of all the trauma James inflicted on him. The conflict-laden relationship between Snape and the Marauders is a significant driver of the story through several of the books and OP seems subjective to the point of being problematic in ignoring it completely and instead focusing Snape's dislike of Harry onto an invented idea of sexual jealousy that doesn't exist in the text.

It's never stated whether Snape had romantic feelings for Lily, or vice versa, only that they were friends. The closest we see to a hint of this is when “The intensity of his [Snape's] gaze made her [Lily] blush," or when “The moment she [Lily] had insulted James Potter, his [Snape's] whole body had relaxed, and as they walked away there was a new spring in Snape’s step …”

Lily's blush could be interpreted as implying she was attracted to him, or conversely that she didn't and felt awkward thinking he might be attracted to her. Similarly, Snape's relief at her insulting James can be interpreted as indicative of his attraction to her, or of him simply being worried about a friend hanging out with people he perceived as dangerous and was relieved to learn she wasn't putting herself in the way of danger by becoming friends with them. Although JK Rowling has said that her intention was for Snape's affections towards Lily to be romantic, and that she may have returned his affection had he not chosen the path he did, this is - like the note about Snape's father whipping him - extratextual and more of an interesting fact than a bit of canon to be extrapolated from the text.

Finally, OP says:

His interest in the Death Eaters was only secondary to his obsession with Lily and I think Lily rejecting him pushed him toward joining the Death Eaters, because, once again, his male ego was bruised and he needed to replace it with something else.

We've already seen that Snape's interest in joining the Death Eaters was a big part of Lily's reason for ending their friendship. Therefore, logically, Lily's decision didn't push him towards becoming a Death Eater, but rather isolated him from having any support system outside of the DEs. She didn't reject him, because rejection is the refusal or dismissal of another person's advances or proposal. They were friends, meaning they had a mutually consensual platonic relationship. Lily therefore didn't reject Snape, she ended their friendship and, as already stated, nothing in canon implies he didn't respect her boundaries.

As we have also seen in canon, Snape was bullied at school and had, at best, a neglectful and dysfunctional home environment in his childhood. In addition, he shared a dorm with students actively interested in becoming Death Eaters, and his one social lifeline away from them was cut off when he called Lily a Mudblood. What OP interprets as Snape's male ego being bruised is actually a much more complex set of social and emotional factors being described throughout the series to eventually reveal the profile of a character - young Snape - who was a vulnerable youth primed for radicalization by a violent faction of zealots. Although the enforcement and upholding of patriarchal norms is often a huge element of these kinds of social movements, that didn't seem to be the driving force for Snape based on everything we learn about his character. Instead, what we see is a boy who comes from abuse, lives in abuse at school, who loses all the support systems that might give him an alternative to the fascist cult he's being radicalized into which - if it's like most hate groups - would have been more than welcome to both take him in and help him cut his ties to anyone else in his life he might escape from them to.

It also goes against the argument that Snape was sexually obsessed with Lily that he continued to risk his life in order to protect her son an defeat her murderer for almost two decades after her death. He knew it would neither bring her back from the dead nor bring about forgiveness, and it goes without saying that sex was no longer an option. Framing Snape's motivation as obsession dismisses the realities of the complex and meaningful relationship we form as people, and the lasting, transformative influence we can have on each other, which is what Snape and Lily's story illustrates.

Finally, OP concludes with:

He remained mysterious up till the end and his back-and-forth with treason was very compelling to read about. So I hate him (as a "person") but he is such a good character narrative-wise and he is very interesting to study

OP openly admits to hating Snape, ie. having a bias against him, while stating he is "interesting to study" - except no part of their answer has shown that they've actually done so. Their arguments are unsupported in several ways, one being that they don't offer any evidence, and the other being that none can be found in the source text. What's ironic is that OP seems to resent Snape's subjective bias against Harry (and misinterpret his reasons for it in baseless ways) while also showing the exact same kind of bias against Snape themselves. You don't have to like a character by any means, but claiming that the kind of unfounded, superficial, and unsupported opinions that OP stated in their response have a basis in any kind of study of his character is ludicrous and an insult to the intelligence of anyone reading it.

#long post #I'd say sorry to OP for ripping into their post like this but they think people disagreeing with them politely is mean and hateful so #but yeah sorry not sorry when your argument is so unfounded that it can be shredded with an entire cited essay then maybe #reconsider the claim that your opinions have any basis in study #and look I don't think OP is stupid by any means I think they knew exactly what they were doing and that's why I decided to argue them #even if they won't see it #I usually don't tend to argue with haters and prefer to spend my allotted hellsite time delving into meta but this one got to me

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mor-benis · 1 month ago

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just had an an argument about ai with my brother and it was so grossly anti-humanist I don't even know what to do.

so we had an argument about genAI and concluded that it was bad to have it just do work and write essays for you, yada yada yada. we know that just having genAI do the work for you doesn't develop your skills and makes you more easily oppressable and that at very best it's a jumping off point, yes yes yes all that good stuff.

but then we got to more complex scenarios. he proposed an assignment where this imaginary student was supposed to use a comprehensive text, form a conclusion/interpretation about it, and argue it in an essay. he argues that inputting your conclusion and your reasons for doing so into a genAI and having it write the specifics would be fine and that he doesn't see why it matters.

and that breaks my heart so much.

i was trying to explain to him the significance of individualized human expression, and he just doesn't see it. i'm not a huge believer in "everything happens for a reason" in the divine sense, but on an intricate, pragmatic scale, it does. every single moment that your brain processes influences the way you view the rest of the world. every decision you make, every conversation you have, every opinion you take in, every word you read and every breath you breathe influences your life. every word I am putting on this page is being placed in the order they are because of every single one of my experiences leading up to now. every. single. moment. means something. everything is cumulative. and that is going to affect the way you form each sentence, even if you don't realize it. and isn't that beautiful?

my brother doesn't think so. i just do not know how to explain it to him. isn't it beautiful that the same idea can and will be expressed in an infinite number of ways based on each person's boundlessly unique experiences? i can't even put to words how intricate human life is. i would spend forever attempting to capture it all. and that is gorgeous and so, so important. but he thinks as long as you input your reasons and conclusions that that's "personal influence" enough. no. No, brother, it's not. every. single. fucking. word. counts. it is indescribably impossibly important that you put your ideas out into the world exactly as you would convey them, whether they are academically "correct" or not, because they are so uniquely, individually you! hearing your exact voice is so important to the advancement and reflection (not exactly the word I'm looking for-- closer to consideration or simmering, like a moment between moments--) of humanity because it is your exact voice, influenced by the time, by your life, by your friends, by your education, by your social identities, by your trauma, by your insecurities, by what happened the day you wrote it! don't your individual words matter? don't they mean anything to you?

i just can't convey to him the significance of it. i don't think i'd even have the words. it seems I don't anyway. i just need him to come at it from a different angle, I think: think not from the view of logic or practicality, but from the view of an effusive, Romantic hippy artist who finds value, wonder, and fulfillment in the individuality of humans. sigh.

#arguments about ai #artificial intelligence #chatgpt #philosophy #idk sorry for getting pretentious on you there #technology #fuck ai #anti ai #fuck generative ai #romanticism #does this even count as romanticism?#whatever #i fuck with trees #humanity sucks but also it's really beautiful even in its tragedy and suffering and injustice and you should appreciate it #i just don't know what to say to him #if you dont see the inherent value in unique human creation then I don't know what to give you

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chairteeth · 5 months ago

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Greek love styles as applied to Touka and Nemu

Welcome one and all to another instance of “Nahi rambles on and on about the blorbos”! This time, brought to you by my friend @abarero (her very lovely essay on this same topic except applied to Mikoto and Hanna inspired this). For those of you unfamiliar with the Greek styles of love, not to worry, I will provide definitions for each term, and I will clarify that they don’t cover only romantic love. Given my aspec TouNemu headcanons, I’d be in trouble if they did. Anyway, remember that the person writing this is both the foremost scholar in TouNemu and also probably the biggest shipper of the two, so for the best experience you will have to read this from the perspective of “yes those two are canon”. And also from the perspective of “these two are people in their universe that existed before canon and will exist beyond canon”. Oh, and spoilers for the TouNemu part of the Arc 2 finale, but I mean, I think most people are at least vaguely familiar with what happened, given PH and all that.

First of all, I call these “love styles” because that is what my teachers and mentors called them when teaching me about them (why yes Nahi is academically and culturally qualified to speak on Grecoroman stuff, unexpected I know). You may see them talked about as just different words for love, or different concepts. These styles are recognizable in people, and sometimes you can tell someone has one of them as their primary style, sometimes you can see the secondary one, there are many variables. Most people experience each of them at some point in their lives. So, let’s begin with philia:

> Philia is the kind of love that strong friends feel toward each other. However, it doesn’t stop there. The Greek philosopher Plato thought that philia was an even greater love than eros and that the strongest loving relationships were ones where philia led to eros: a “friends become lovers” situation. Our concept of platonic love—love that isn’t based on physical attraction—comes from this Platonic philosophy. Philia is a type of love that is felt among friends who’ve endured hard times together.

Fun fact, the ancient Greeks valued philia far above eros because it was considered a love between equals (in reference to the historical inequality between men and women and the historical expectation for one’s friends to be the same sex and one’s romantic partner to be the opposite, needless to say this does not apply when we’re talking about two girls). I thought philia would be a nice, comfortable, easy place to start. Because sure, Touka and Nemu used to fight when they first met, but while important, that is literally not even one fifth of their relationship.

The way Touka and Nemu developed their relationship does actually involve philia, and therefore they continue to have it later in life, like the nourishing soil for their relationship. I believe this is a vitally important and extremely strong foundation they've built. I’ve said this before elsewhere, but despite my enthusiastic shipping of the pair, I wouldn't describe them as the “typical” lovers. Because yes, there’s that, but there’s also so much more to their bond than that, and this is one of the essentials. My timeline in my head for how the relationship would’ve even happened puts the earliest possible point where they could start dating(?) at around Cherry Blossom Dreams, so that's a good half of the game canon and pre-Arc 1 where it was just mounting philia for them. Bare basics! Highly important! Plus, if you go the demi route of the aspec interpretation, they kind of need to have a strong emotional bond via philia first. Or, given that they refused to call each other friends for so long, my favorite: weird undefined thing that grows and changes but we're not gonna put a label on it exactly because it doesn’t quite fit any preexisting ones/it doesn’t feel right. Or if you want to be funny, you can call them lab partners, since that is part of what they are to each other at least during Arc 2. This entire thing is also why I most often pick “partners” as their term of preference, “partner” feels like a wider scope than “girlfriend/wife” and fits them perfectly.

Now, time for storge:

> Although storge closely resembles philia in that it is a love without physical attraction, storge is primarily to do with kinship and familiarity. It's a protective, familial love, often felt by parents toward their children and vice versa. Storge also describes the love that siblings feel towards each other, and the love felt by even more distant kin relationships, such as a grandparent for a grandchild or an uncle toward a niece. It can even be found among childhood friends that have grown up together.

Evidently, storge applies to Touka and Nemu. Between one another, yes, but I feel it especially from them towards say Iroha (and Ui, after the crush passed), towards Sakurako, or from Touka to her dad (I am not mentioning Nemu and her parents because what Nemu feels towards her parents is filial piety and desperation for love, not love). TouNemu specifically tend to feel at least a little protective of the people they love in this manner and try to look after them. Less intense than their protectiveness of each other, in part because well, other people have Others. They do not. Storge feels like it's woven into philia from their hospital days, a natural development that likely happened alongside philia in a way. Not much more to say here I think

Next up, agape:

> Agape is selfless universal love, such as the love for strangers, nature, or God. This love is unconditional, bigger than ourselves, a boundless compassion and an infinite empathy that you extended to everyone, whether they are family members or distant strangers. More interestingly, agape is often defined as unconditional, sacrificial love. The kind of love that is felt by a person willing to do anything for another, including sacrificing themselves, without expecting anything in return. According to the Greeks, this was the highest and most radical type of love. It is the purest form of love that is free from desires and expectations, and loves regardless of the flaws and shortcomings of others.

*slams hands on table* YOU SEE. The selfless love for humanity to save strangers and whatever is there with Touka and Nemu, but not really as important as other parts of agape, they have higher priorities (this part of agape I feel is way more prevalent in Ui or Iroha). Unconditional and sometimes sacrificial love for each other, though? Loving without expectations or pressure? Most definitely! Absolutely. They even do this in lesser ways with other close loved ones. I do not think I have to point out the examples from canon, they've tried to kill themselves like five times give or take, and almost always you can trace their reasoning back to love in some way (in between all the trauma and guilt), plus some decisions about the specifics of their little self-immolation schemes are so clearly made with a sense of equality, partnership with each other. The unconditional part is something that’s very important for them to receive from each other. One of the reasons they trust each other so much is precisely how much they respect the other when it comes to boundaries, as well as the lack of expectations/conditions, which I’ve talked about before in other essays I believe.

So! The funny stalker love now!

> Mania love is a type of excessive love that leads someone into madness and obsessiveness. Although not necessarily and not universal, examples of mania could be what a jilted lover feels when they are extremely jealous of a rival, the unhealthy obsession that can result from mental illness, the kind of “love” that a stalker feels toward their victim, etc. To those who experience mania, love itself is a means of rescuing themselves; a reinforcement of their own value as the sufferer of poor self-esteem. This person wants to love and be loved to find a sense of self-value. Because of this, they can become possessive and jealous lovers, feeling as though they desperately “need” their partners. If the other partner fails to reciprocate with the same kind of mania love, many issues prevail. Mania can often lead to issues such as codependency.

I mean. They absolutely have it. It’s not too major for them, or at least not in the traditional sense. I don't think it's the unhealthy sort. They do display obsessive behavior at times (usually relatively minor, but I imagine it'd be worse if they weren't constantly joined at the hip, Touka was not exactly happy when Nemu got kidnapped by former Feathers in the IroYachi event), and I've argued before with screenshot evidence that both of them are possessive with both things/concepts and people. With how their relationship map has evolved, this behavior is mostly in their heads and applies to each other the most. There's a level of entitlement to the other and defensiveness they have too, and honestly, the depths their love reaches would 100% be considered madness. I mean. Must I point at the Arc 2 finale and that very fun decision of shedding their humanity and leaving their world, lives, dreams, aspirations, legacy and memories behind to live together in space? That's not normal person behavior, especially when it involves Exploding In Public as the preamble/step 1. THAT'S NOT NORMAL PERSON BEHAVIOR… Mania is usually seen as bad because the famous examples are all one-sided and on the very extreme, but I mean, what's wrong with two-sided mania? They seem fine to me. Codependent, but surprisingly functional in spite of that—I think they feel secure in their relationship at the moment. That said, if you just did a handful of very specific things, such as, say, very bad things happening to the other every time they’re apart… well, can you really tell me it wouldn’t amp up their paranoia and possessive protectiveness? Really think about it. If you pushed the right buttons, you could easily bring the mania to the surface.

Anyway, next up, my favorite that I named a fic after (yes you should read it if you haven’t already), pragma:

> Pragma is a committed, compassionate love that often grows as two partners continue to cherish and care for each other. This type of love is associated with being together for a long time and often seen in long term best friend marriages. It's an everlasting love between a couple that chooses to put equal effort into their relationship. Commitment and dedication are required to reach this level. Instead of “falling in love,” you are “standing in love” with the partner you want by your side indefinitely. Pragma is a unique sort of closely bonded love that can only grow over time and matures over the years. A love built on commitment, mutual understanding, and long-term interests, like (the easiest example) building a family. It's very meaningful and not a bond that is likely to ever break due to its foundations being so strong.

So basically intense devotion, mutual understanding, and the single most “partner” love. The “I will stand by your side no matter what” love. The kind that pays attention to the tiniest details and quietly makes adjustments as needed, the kind that Knows. Do I have to say anything? Do I really? This is TouNemu to a T. I will die on the hill that TouNemu's primary love style with each other is pragma.

I was not looking forward to this part considering the state of media literacy and reading comprehension, but here it is, eros:

> Eros is passion, lust and pleasure. Sensual, physical love. Romance is included here. Examples of eros would be the intense love felt between, well, lovers. The ancient Greeks considered eros to be dangerous and frightening, as it involves a “loss of control” through primal impulses.

I think this one is the most difficult to explain, if only because it clashes with my interpretation of the girls as being in the aspec, but if we're talking physical, I do 100% think that physical affection (and yes, sex) is/would be important for both Touka and Nemu, with the headcanon for Nemu having high libido issues being pretty much unanimously accepted among the TouNemu cult (because it does have canon basis and the ace + high libido combo is interesting to toy with). It's a lot about grounding for them, I feel. Touch is grounding for them because they've never had it and they therefore crave it, a more solid anchor than anything else, and like a sort of lifebuoy that I feel they can throw at one another if they notice The Signs, while at the same time being very gentle. As a friend of mine also recognized when discussing this in DMs, if anyone were to recognize their specific signs of their dissociation/panic, it would be the other, because they essentially developed these defense mechanisms and coping skills together. Plus, it's a multi-sensory anchor: the touch isn't just about texture, but also warmth, and the rhythm of breathing, and the subtle shifting of your partner, and their closeness, and the slight moisture of their breath. And that's just the tactile portion! It's also major with scent and sound and There Is A Lot.

Gentleness is one thing, but if you go into the kink side a little more, there's controlled aggression, the sting of a pain you can control (since it can stop with a single word or gesture/you get to be the one dishing it out for once), the other sorts of sensory craving that things like temperature play can satisfy. It's a lot about control in this case. I have so many thoughts and feelings about TouNemu's physicality- it's comforting to them both for grounding reasons and the emotional security in feeling the signs of presence and life in the one person they know they can rely on. There is a bit too much to get into right now (I could majorly elaborate on the sex and kink thing if asked), so we shall move on.

Yet another one I’m anxious about sharing for the same reasons as eros… Ludus.

> Ludus is playful, often noncommittal love. It covers things like flirting, crushes, courtship, seduction, and casual sex. Ludus is that feeling we have when we go through the early stages of falling in love with someone, e.g. the fluttering heart, flirting, teasing, and feelings of euphoria. The word means “play” or “game” in Latin, and that pretty much explains what ludus is: love as a game. When it comes to ludus, a person is not looking for a committed relationship. People who are after ludus are just looking to have fun or view sex as a prize to be won. A friends with benefits situation would be an example of a relationship built on ludus: neither partner is interested in commitment. Of course, ludus may eventually result in eros if feelings of passion or romance emerge during the relationship. After all, playfulness in love is an essential ingredient that is often lost in long-term relationships, yet it’s one of the secrets to keeping your love alive, interesting and exciting.

Throwing the noncommittal part completely into the trash for the canon timeline analysis, Touka and Nemu’s entire relationship is based on teasing and mind games. They are the only people they act playful towards or joke with at all—they will, on rare occasions, also tease Ui, but it doesn’t feel the same with her because Ui doesn’t really play their game. Their whole thing is exactly this. And since ludus, like all the other styles, can overlap with other styles of love, you really don’t have to compromise on the girls’ philia or pragma to agree that they have a healthy degree of ludus in their relationship by nature. It’s something they treat as unique to their relationship too, which is interesting.

They're NOT AT ALL noncommittal or “casual” about each other, however they do like to treat their relationship like a sort of “game”. Their mind games and verbal sniping are in fact courtship, I think it relates to intellectual stimulation and poking the other around. In this sense they are basically seeking enrichment, fun, while also letting their relationship be extremely intense and mostly undefined. And I would be lying if I said I haven't had many AUs where these two started out as friends with benefits or went through that phase before settling into commitment (because they're stupid and in denial and allergic to vulnerability). It's a fascinating avenue to explore with them, particularly because a relationship that you negotiate and agree on being “no strings attached” (lmao good luck you idiots) avoids things they're terrible at such as The Big Emotions, so it's also a safety net. And a way to remain “close” and develop trust without necessarily being traditionally emotionally vulnerable. Not to mention that as an established relationship, I fully believe they would have business meetings every month to discuss the state of it; feedback, any necessary grievances they want to air, working together on problem-solving, etc.

Lastly, another big one! Philautia!

> Philautia refers to how a person views themselves and how they feel about their own body and mind. So essentially, self-love/self-esteem (good) and/or hubris (bad). The Greeks understood that in order to care for others, we must first learn to care for ourselves. People with high self-esteem, pride in themselves, or a positive body image practice a healthy version of philautia. Of course, philautia has a negative version, there is such a thing as excessive self-esteem/arrogance.

Let me tell you self-love is horrendous for both Touka and Nemu. Nemu is way worse at this than Touka. I don’t know what you expected me to say, but they simultaneously have huge egos and also the lowest self-esteem known to man. You can see this clearly in the ways they interact with others and the ways they objectify and dehumanize themselves respectively. I'm not sure I've talked about this at length before, but it holds true in every iteration of their characters, no matter what.

Touka is a little complicated to examine with this, with the simultaneous sense of both superiority and inferiority. She knows she sucks at socializing. She knows she’s the best in her fields. She may be young, but she’s not stupid. Assigning roles to herself and using her knowledge (hence her shoehorning sciency things in conversation) are the only ways she knows how to socialize, and as I’ve analyzed in other essays before, in Touka’s mind, all of her worth hinges on her intelligence. It’s what she’s been told her entire life: you’re so smart, that’s incredible, you’re so much more intelligent than others. The role of “genius” is what gives her a framework for how to interact with people, and Nemu threw that out of whack because she made Touka go off-script. Touka hadn’t prepared to deal with someone as smart as her. She hadn’t thought she’d have an equal. As a Magius, the way she acts is also mostly within the confines of her role, her job, what she’s expected to be like and what she’s expected to do. It’s all scripted. It’s the only way she thinks she can navigate most social interactions and communicate with People (capitalized because as I’ve said before, Touka and Nemu do not consider each other people, they consider each other a sort of part of themselves, something that cannot be handled the same way as People).

As for Nemu, boy buddy boy does this idiot self-flagellate. Not only is she introspective and the type to overthink everything and conclude she deserves nothing but the flames of Avici (her words, not mine), but she’s also painfully repressed in so many ways. I’ll go into all of this more in one of my upcoming essays that examines Nemu through a Buddhist lens (because she is Buddhist). The main point is that while Touka uses her masks and the enforcement of “roles” in order to navigate socialization, Nemu appears to be much better at it, but that’s really just an illusion. It’s because she knows how people speak. All she does is read, and she’s a writer, so there’s no way she wouldn’t. Is it genuine? Not really. She’s polite, though. In that sense she is the very example of a “proper” lady (Japan standards). Speaks nicely, can carry a conversation with perfect normalcy, etc. The only exceptions are Touka, whenever she decides someone is her enemy (such as Mikazuki when she was a Magius or Felicia in Ui’s MGS), and Sakurako who she speaks to with genuine motherly affection. It’s very. Very interesting. I am vibrating trying not to go into how this relates to her being a Buddhist because that is FOR THE OTHER ESSAY. Shh. Sh. Moving on.

Touka and Nemu are ultimately not made to be human, yet they are so very human nonetheless, and it shows in their hearts. There's an ache there. A desire to belong. But that desire feels lost and contradictory with the way they’re treated and with their other desires. And, no matter how hard they try, they can never find a home in those around them. Their sights are set too high, no other can match that, and so they feel alien and out of place with people besides one another. They both have very strong hearts, especially when they're together, and unlike say Iroha (who is all too human and thus yearns to return to a place she felt she belonged post-Arc 2), they make peace with their own departure. They never belonged anyway. Their place is not among the masses. This is why they have absolutely no qualms basically cutting ties with the mortal world for their ascension. They fully believe it's the best they can do, both for themselves and others. And while this dehumanization of the self can often either cause or be because of self-loathing, it also may not, or may grow past it. I think that's what we were seeing with the ascension, actually, it felt like chains snapping off and letting them fly, letting them finally pursue their goals unhindered, with each other as eternal support and without the constraints of human society that they’d always endured.

OKAY! That is the gist of it! Hope everyone enjoyed me going on another rant.

#magia record #nishiposting #tounemu #nemu hiiragi #touka satomi

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