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tlbodine · 3 years ago

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The Horror Genius of Five Nights At Freddy’s

I’ve been playing FNAF: Help Wanted VR on my Oculus Quest lately (a birthday present to myself -- I know I’m late to that party!) and it’s reignited in me my old love of this series. I know Scott Cawthon’s politics aren’t great, but I don’t think there’s any malice in his heart beyond usual Christian conservative nonsense -- and I think he stepped down as graciously and magnanimously as possible when confronted about it. Time will judge Scott Cawthon’s politics, and that’s not what I’m here to talk about. I want to talk about what makes these games so damn special, from a horror, design, and marketing perspective. I think there’s really SO MUCH to be learned from studying these games and the wider influence they’ve had as intellectual property.

What Is FNAF?

In case you’ve somehow been living under a rock for the last seven years, Five Nights At Freddy’s (hereafter, FNAF) is a horror franchise spanning 17 games (10 main games + some spinoffs and troll games, we’ll get to that), 27 books, a movie deal, and a couple live-action attractions.

But before it exploded into that kind of tremendous IP, it started out as a single indie pont-and-click game created entirely by one dude, Scott Cawthon. Cawthon had developed other games in the past without much fame or success, including some Christian children’s entertainment. He was working as a cashier at Dollar General and making games in his spare time -- and most of those games got panned.

So he tried making something different.

After being criticized that the characters in one of his children’s games looked like soulless, creepy animatronics, Cawthon had his lightbulb moment and created a horror game centered on....creepy animatronics!

The rest, as they say, is history.

The Genius of FNAF’s Horror Elements

In the first FNAF game, you play as a night security guard at Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza, a sort of ersatz Chuck-E-Cheese establishment. The animatronics are on free-roaming mode at night, but you don’t want to let them find you in your security room so you have to watch them move through the building on security camera monitors. If they get too close, you can slam your security room doors closed. But be careful, because this restaurant operates on a shoestring budget, and the power will go off if you keep the doors closed too long or flicker the lights too often. And once the lights go out, you’re helpless against the animatronics in the dark.

Guiding you through your gameplay is a fellow employee, Phone Guy, who calls you each night with some helpful advice. Phone Guy is voiced by Cawthon himself, and listening to his tapes gives you some hints of the game’s underlying story as well as telling you how to play. A few newspaper clippings and other bits of scrap material help to fill in more details of the story.

Over the next set of games, the story would be further developed, with each new game introducing new mechanics and variations on the theme -- in one, you don a mask to slip past the notice of animatronics; in another, you have to play sound cues to lure an animatronic away from you. By the fourth game, the setup was changed completely, now featuring a child with a flashlight hiding from the monsters outside his door -- nightmarish versions of the beloved child-friendly mascots. The mechanics change just enough between variations to keep things fresh while maintaining a consistent brand.

There are so many things these games do well from a storytelling and horror perspective:

Jump Scares: It’s easy to shrug these games off for relying heavily on jump scares, and they absolutely do have a lot of them. But they’re used strategically. In most games, the jump scares are a punishment (a controlled shock, if you will) -- if you play the game perfectly, you’ll never be jump-scared. This is an important design choice that a lot of other horror games don’t follow.

Atmospheric Dread: These games absolutely deliver horror and tension through every element of design -- some more than others, admittedly. But a combination of sound cues, the overall texture and aesthetic of the world, the “things move when you’re not looking at them” mechanic, all of it works together to create a feeling of unease and paranoia.

Paranoia: As in most survival horror games, you’re at a disadvantage. You can’t move or defend yourself, really -- all you can do is watch. And so watch you do. Except it’s a false sense of security, because flicking lights and checking cameras uses up precious resources, putting you at greater risk. So you have to balance your compulsive need to check, double-check, and make sure...with methodical resource conservation. The best way to survive these games is to remain calm and focused. It’s a brilliant design choice.

Visceral Horror: The monster design of the animatronics is absolutely delightful, and there’s a whole range of them to choose from. The sheer size and weight of the creatures, the way they move and position themselves, their grunginess, the deadness of their eyes, the quantity and prominence of their teeth. They are simultaneously adorable and horrifying.

Implicit Horror: One of the greatest strengths to FNAF as a franchise is that it never wears its story on its sleeve. Instead of outright telling you what’s going on, the story is delivered in bits and pieces that you have to put together yourself -- creating a puzzle for an engaged player to think about and theorize over and consider long after the game is done. But more than that, the nature of the horror itself is such that it becomes increasingly upsetting the more you think on it. The implications of what’s going on in the game world -- that there are decaying bodies tucked away inside mascots that continue to perform for children, that a man dressed in a costume is luring kids away into a private room to kill them, and so forth -- are the epitome of fridge horror.

The FNAF lore does admittedly start to become fairly ridiculous and convoluted as the franchise wears on. But even ret-conned material manages to be pretty interesting in its own right (and there is nothing in the world keeping you from playing the first four games, or even the first six, and pretending none of the rest exist).

Another thing I really appreciate about the FNAF franchise is that it’s quite funny, in a way that complements and underscores the horror rather than detracting from it. It’s something a lot of other properties utterly fail to do.

The Genius of Scott Cawthon’s Marketing

OK, so FNAF utilizes a multi-prong attack for creating horror and implements it well -- big deal. Why did it explode into a massive IP sensation when other indie horror games that are just as well-made barely made a blip on the radar?

Well! That’s where the real genius comes in. This game was built and marketed in a way to maximize its franchisability.

First, the story utilizes instantly identifiable, simple but effective character designs, and then generates more and more instantly identifiable unique characters with each iteration. Having a wealth of characters and clever, unique designs basically paves the way for merchandise and fan-works. (That they’re anthropomorphic animal designs also probably helped -- because that taps into the furry fandom as well without completely alienating non-furries).

Speaking of fan-work, Scott Cawthon has always been very supportive of fandom, only taking action when people would try to profit off knock-off games and that sort of thing -- basically bad-faith copies. But as far as I know he’s always been super chill with fan-created content, even going so far as to engage directly with the fandom. Which brings me to....

These games were practically designed for streaming, and he took care to deliver them into the hands of influential streamers. Because the games are heavy on jump-scares and scale in difficulty (even including extra-challenging modes after the core game is beaten) they are extremely fun to watch people play. They’re short enough to be easily finished over the duration of a long stream, and they’re episodic -- lending themselves perfectly to a YouTube Lets Play format. One Night = One Video, and now the streamer has weeks of content from your game (but viewers can jump in at any time without really missing much).

The games are kid-friendly but also genuinely frightening. Because the most disturbing parts of the game’s lore are hinted at rather than made explicit, younger players can easily engage with the game on a more basic surface level, and others can go as deep into the lore as they feel comfortable. There is no blood and gore and violence or even any explicitly stated death in the main game; all of the murder and death is portrayed obliquely by way of 8-bit mini games and tangential references. Making this game terrifying but accessible to youngsters, and then marketing it directly to younger viewers through popular streamers (and later, merchandising deals) is genius -- because it creates a very broad potential audience, and kids tend to spend 100% of their money (birthdays, allowances, etc.) and are most likely to tell their friends about this super scary game, etc. etc.

By creating a puzzle box of lore, and then interacting directly with the fandom -- dropping hints, trolling, essentially creating an ARG of his own lore through his website, in-game easter eggs, and tie-in materials -- Cawthon created a mystery for fandom to solve. And fans LOVE endlessly speculating over convoluted theories.

Cawthon released these games FAST. He dropped FNAF 2 within months of the first game’s release, and kept up a pace of 1-2 games a year ever since. This steady output ensured the games never dropped out of public consciousness -- and introducing new puzzle pieces for the lore-hungry fans to pore over helped keep the discussion going.

I think MatPat and The Game Theorists owe a tremendous amount of their own huge success to this game. I think Markiplier does, too, and other big streamers and YouTubers. It’s been fascinating watching the symbiotic relationship between these games and the people who make content about these games. Obviously that’s true for a lot of fandom -- but FNAF feels so special because it really did start so small. It’s a true rags-to-riches sleeper hit and luck absolutely played a role in its growth, but skill is a big part too.

Take-Aways For Creatives

I want to be very clear here: I do not think that every piece of media needs to be “IP,” franchisable, an extended universe, or a multimedia sensation. I think there is plenty to be said for creating art of all types, and sometimes that means a standalone story with a small audience.

But if you do want a chance at real break-out, run-away success and forging a media empire of your own, I think there are some take-aways to be learned from the success of FNAF:

Persistence. Scott Cawthon studied animation and game-design in the 1990s and released his first game in 2002. He released a bunch of stuff afterward. None of it stuck. It took 12 years to hit on the winning formula, and then another several years of incredibly hard work to push out more titles and stoke the fires before it really became a sensation. Wherever you’re at on your creative journey, don’t give up. You never know when your next thing will be The Thing that breaks you out.

If you want to sell a lot of something, you have to make it widely appealing to a bunch of people. This means keeping your concept simple to understand (”security guard wards off creepy killer animatronics at a pizza parlor”) and appealing to as wide a segment of the market as you can (ie, a horror story that appeals to both kids and adults). The more hyper-specific your audience, the harder it’s gonna be to find them and the fewer copies of your thing you’ll be selling.

Know your shit and put your best work out there. I think there’s an impulse to feel like “well, nobody reads this anyway, so why does it matter if it’s no good” (I certainly have fallen into that on multiple occasions) but that’s the wrong way to think about it. You never know when and where your break will come. Put your best work out there and keep on polishing your craft with better and better stuff because eventually one of those things you chuck out there is going to be The Thing.

Figure out where your target audience hangs out, and who influences them, and then get your thing in the hands of those influencers. Streaming and YouTube were the secret to FNAF’s success. Maybe yours will be BookTube, or Instagram, or a secret cabal of free librarians. I don’t know. But you should try your best to figure out who would like the thing that you’re making, and then figure out how to reach those people, and put all of your energy into that instead of shotgun-blasting your marketing all willy nilly.

You don’t have to put the whole story on the page. Audiences love puzzles. Fans love mysteries. You can actually leave a lot more unanswered than you think. There’s some value in keeping secrets and leaving things for others to fill in. Remember -- your art is only partly yours. The sandbox belongs to others to play in, too, and you have to let them do that.

If in doubt, appealing to furries never hurts.

Do I take all of this advice myself? Not by a long shot. But it’s definitely a lot to think about.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go beat The Curse of Dreadbear.

#horror analysis #writing advice #fnaf

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cristalconnors · 4 years ago

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TOP 20 SONGS OF 2020

20. “BELOW THE CLAVICLE”- EARTHEATER

“The meaning hasn’t come up yet. It’s still under the surface below the clavicle.”

It isn’t just Alexandra Drewchin’s ear splitting soprano when she hits that impossibly high B, practically shrieking out the “cle” syllable of clavicle, though that’s undoubtedly when I first knew that Eartheater’s avant folk was for me- it’s also the cinematic, lush strings, both bowed and plucked (is that acoustic guitar or harp? I genuinely can’t tell), deepening and complicating the sonic texture of Drewchin’s study of parsing through emotions you aren’t ready to make sense of yet.

19. “PUSSY TALK”- CITY GIRLS, FT. DOJA CAT

“This pussy so ghetto, this pussy speak ebonics”

“WAP”’s funnier, classless Irish twin, though it’s important to note “Pussy Talk” came first. Yung Miami and JT enlist Doja Cat to expound on everything their pussies deserve and will absolutely settle for nothing less than. And why should they when they’re spitting out verses this inspiredly hilarious with such confidence and flow?

18. “LICK IN HEAVEN”- JESSY LANZA

“Once I’m spinning, I can’t stop spinning...”

Jessy Lanza is talking about losing your cool, letting your emotions get the best of you and lashing out instead of letting cooler heads prevail, but when that earworm of a chorus hits- “once I’m spinning, I can’t stop spinning” - I can’t stop spinning. I’m that woman on the single art, a wine mom lost in the delirium of the dance floor and in Lanza’s hypnotic, fragmented rhythms.

17. “GASLIGHTER”- THE CHICKS

“Boy, you know exactly what you did on my boat!”

“Gaslighter” finds Natalie Ames and her Chicks at their most simultaneously ruthless and ebullient, ripping Ames’s ex-husband Adrian Pasdar a new asshole and ratcheting up the righteous anger of “Goodbye Earl” tenfold, channeling it into a glorious wall of sound in what might be their most rousing, emotionally resonant chorus in their storied career.

16. “HANNAH SUN”- LOMELDA

“Hannah do no harm...”

While “Hannah Sun” begins as an exquisitely observed rumination on grappling with long-distance, pining for someone who’s a continent away, it gradually becomes clear that Hannah Read blames herself for putting the distance between her and the subject of her longing, and that the distance isn’t strictly literal. Skittering synths (or is that distorted flute?) complicate and enrich the texture of the song, allowing it to build organically and stunningly towards a heartbreaking plea to herself- “Hannah, do no harm.”

15. “FIRE”- WAXAHATCHEE

“And when I turn back around will you drain me back out? Will you let me believe that I broke through?”

When I’d drive back and forth between Dallas and Austin over and over again when I was in college, I’d often get off I-35 past Waco and take the back roads through towns I’d never heard of, the sun setting spectacularly behind the titular hills of Hill Country that were beginning to roll out in earnest. I think about that a lot when listening to “Fire,” a song dripping in rural Americana that was, unsurprisingly, inspired by a road trip. We’ve probably all been Katie Crutchfield as she crossed the bridge into West Memphis- alone in the car, awed by the simple beauty of the American countryside, making speeches to ourselves about our past mistakes and figuring out a way forward.

14. “3AM”- HAIM

“On the screen and in my jeans, just make me feel good.”

On an album full of genre departures and decidedly darker themes than we’ve typically heard from Haim in their near decade of syncopated bubblegum pop rock, “3AM” stands out not only as their most effective stab at pastiche, slipping into the trappings of contemporary R&B with shocking ease and gusto, but also as their most unabashedly fun track in their entire oeuvre. “I think you can hear the amount of joy and laughs we had making this song” Alana Haim tells Apple Music, and you absolutely can.

13. “QADIR”- NICK HAKIM

“We’re sinking down a hole without thinking about our loved ones who might be shrinking...”

I often wonder if I’m putting enough effort into maintaining my relationships with friends I don’t see regularly, who live several time zones away, living their own lives while I live mine. When the thought of sustaining simple correspondence becomes overwhelming, it’s easy for months to go by before you realize you haven’t spoken to one of your closest friends. “QADIR” plays less like a eulogy for a friend gone too soon (though of course it is that) than a plea to the listener to put in the work. It’s worth it. You never know when it’ll be too late.

12. “LEVITATING”- DUA LIPA

“Glitter in the sky, glitter in our eyes shining just the way we are.”

Just a few bars of that delightfully bouncy, extra-terrestrial beat is enough to launch me into space. It’s so refreshing to hear a song that remembers that pop is supposed to be joyful and is best when it’s a bit silly. When discussing this track with Apple Music, Dua Lipa cites Austin Powers as inspiration, elaborating that “if I do a video for this, Mike Meyers has to be in it.” Can’t you just see them together, performing a farcical pas de deux of seduction like the spiritual successor to “Beautiful Stranger?”

11. “RIQUIQUI”- ARCA

“Love in the face of fear! Fear in the face of God!”

Arca’s made a career of harnessing chaos and somehow making sense of it. On an album that finds her embracing more traditional, accessible song structures, “Riquiqui” is a reminder that even when working within an AB structure, she’s still breaking rules left and right and having a blast doing it. She’s also never sounded so ferociously empowered in either her femininity or in her Venezuelan identity, rattling off local colloquialisms with affection and verve without a second thought as to who’s going to understand it.

10. “FANTASY”- AGAINST ALL LOGIC

“I think about you all the time...”

Or, the musical embodiment of this gif:

When Nicolas Jaar’s tormented synths and crunching beats give way to Beyoncé’s unmistakable alto, it is indeed quite the shock. But should it be? Even if 2017-2019 finds him ditching the dancefloor in favor of more severe, unforgiving soundscapes, his already varied career has shown us nothing’s off limits to him. So why not reinvent Beyoncé’s iconic “Baby Boy” into an industrial, vaguely sinister certified bop that arguably surpasses the original?

9. “PEOPLE, I’VE BEEN SAD”- CHRISTINE AND THE QUEENS

“If you disappear, then I’m disappearing, too.”

“People, I’ve been sad” plays out with the vulnerability and intimacy of a tumblr text post you put out in the middle of the night, only to hastily delete later when it gets no notes. It forgoes flowery language in favor of just getting to the point. “I’ve been sad.” Héloïse Adelaïde Letissier blows up this deceptively simple sentiment with richly layered textures and a big screen gloss not to offer any remedies but instead to offer solidarity. We’re all in this hell together.

8. “DESCRIBE”- PERFUME GENIUS

“Can you just find him for me?”

Mike Hadreas has never sounded so hopeless. Utilizing harsh, rattling guitar that would make Kevin Shields swoon, he conveys the experience of being so estranged from happiness and joy that you need to rely on others to describe the sensation to you. But how, when exploring darker textures than he ever has before, does he make despondency sound so divine?

7. “4 AMERICAN DOLLARS”- U.S. GIRLS

“No matter how much you get to have, you will still die and that’s the only thing.”

Meg Remy picks up where she left off on “4 American Dollars,” reviving the subversive pastiche she mastered on In a Poem Unlimited, this time harnessing the power of funk to dismantle the fallacies we’re taught about the virtues of capitalism. Heavy stuff, but Remy makes it less didactic than joyous, ensuring the listener will be singing “I don’t believe in pennies and nickels and dimes and dollars and pesos and pounds and rupees and yen and rubles” until they start to wonder if maybe they shouldn’t, either.

6. “STUPID LOVE”- LADY GAGA

“I freak out, I freak out, I freak out, I freak out!”

Due to a healthy spirit of contrarianism mixed with a touch of internalized homophobia and genuine bafflement at her universal appeal and praise, I was a proud Lady Gaga hater for as long as she’d been a cultural entity. I just didn’t get her at all and loved that about myself. Annoying, I know. 2020 was the year I was finally ready to let that all go. Just before the world fell apart in March, I was out at Flaming Saddles (RIP) with friends the night this song came out and by the sixteenth time it played, I understood why it was inducing such hysteria. This was a cultural shift. After a frustrating near-decade of Gaga subverting expectations so thoroughly that she was actively working against her strengths and sabotaging her cultural ubiquity in the process, coupled with the most frightening era of political upheaval in our lifetimes, she was finally ready to save us and be Lady Gaga again. Booming synth, drag sensibilities, absurd thematic conceits- all was right in the world. For the first time in a long time, people had something to be hopeful about, and as I danced that night, I felt that hope, too.

5. “SHELLFISH MADEMOISELLE”- RÓISÍN MURPHY

“How dare you sentence me to a lifetime without dancing?”

As soon as that bass starts (the funkiest bassline in the history of music?) it’s like Róisín Murphy’s snake charming oboe, coaxing even the most stalwart curmudgeon onto the dancefloor and keeping them there, dancing frantically and involuntarily like the citizens of Strasbourg in 1518, trying their best to keep up with Murphy who isn’t even breaking a sweat, commanding the masses with a sultry remove, beckoning you closer, pulling you inexorably deeper into the mass of gyrating bodies and whispering in your ear “come and have a dance with yer mum.”

4. “PARTY 4 U”- CHARLI XCX

“I only threw this party for you...”

As PC Music / Bubblegum Bass / whatever you want to call it enters its second decade, Charli XCX proves not only that there’s still new textures to explore within it, but also that no one can exploit its artifice to get down to emotional truths like she can. How can she make something this slick sound so vulnerable? “I only threw this party for you” she croons over and over again over glorious syncopated synths that build exquisitely, reaching their climax only to immediately fall away, until it’s just her and her trusty autotune, pleading with the subject of the song to just come to the damn party. But they won’t, of course. They never do, do they?

3. “WAP”- CARDI B, FT. MEGAN THEE STALLION

“I want you to touch that lil’ dangly thing that swing in the back of my throat!”

Sometimes you just immediately know you’re living through a significant cultural moment. No, not COVID. I’m talking about the experience of hearing Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion’s instant classic “WAP” for the first time, a titanic meeting of the minds that finds both of them at the apex of their cultural influence and at their most undeniable. Can the argument be made that these two aren’t the two best rappers in the game right now? How could you hear this inspiredly filthy sex positive juggernaut, where Cardi and Megan are trading the sickest verses of their careers, and not think these two deserve the world?

2. “KEROSENE!”- YVES TUMOR

“I can be your baby in real life, sugar. I can live in your dreams.”

If the 2010′s were all about the pop-ification of all music, trading in live instrumentation in favor of polished synths, 2020 forcefully announced the return of the electric guitar when Yves Tumor and Diana Gordon’s back and forth lustfully submissive declarations of desire suddenly gave way to that nasty guitar rip lifted from Uriah Heep’s “Weep in Silence” to announce yet another cultural shift in a year chock full of them- rock and roll was, indeed, here to stay.

1. “I WANT YOU TO LOVE ME”- FIONA APPLE

“I move with the trees in the breeze, I know that time is elastic.”

We live and we learn. Years spent soul searching and on self-discovery shape us into better, smarter people, progressively knowing and understanding ourselves and the world around us more and more clearly, but Fiona Apple knows that none of that can quell the ferocious desire to be loved by someone. By anyone. By you, whoever that is. We can know that time is elastic and that when we’re gone all our particles will disband and disperse and then we’ll be back in the pulse, and we can know that none of this stuff actually matters, but still- we want, we want, we want.

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thedreadvampy · 4 years ago

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well if I get nothing else out of it my recent obsession with Melanie King has caused me to learn a lot about enucleation surgeries

anyway I think I assumed empty eye sockets would be more out of shape but it turns out there's a lot of Stuff in there that isn't eyeball, who knew?

I find eye surgery fascinating which is unfortunate because for a lot of people is one of their biggest squick points. but like the structure of the eye and eye socket are SO INTERESTING they're so MECHANICAL

anyway if you're interested I'm like 90% sure the Melanie surgical details are more or less as follows: (warning I'm trying not to be gross but it's potentially a bit graphic if eye stuff or surgery stuff is a Thing for you)

DISCLAIMER I haven't had any experience with this surgery, I'm not blind/partially sighted and I'm not a doctor, I'm just googling and reading a lot of patient advisories

In an enucleation, they effectively just sever the muscles holding the eye as close as possible to the eye itself, peel them back, then carefully sever the optic nerve and pop the eye out.

depending on how extensive the damage was, the most likely surgery for this type of eye trauma is eye removal. this could be enucleation, which is where the whole eye is removed (including the sclera and optic nerve) but the muscle, fat, connective tissue and eyelids surrounding it are kept. it could also be an evisceration, where they just remove the innards of the eye, but either way post-surgically they look pretty much the same.

If she managed to fully blind herself, regardless of how badly damaged the eye is, they'll consider removal. Advice says 'if the eye is blind to light [ie fully blind] and painful, removal should be considered'. Removal really substantially reduces the pain in most cases.

It's not a long procedure - the NHS says to expect a 48 hour stay but that's standard overnight observation for surgery requiring general anaesthetic

After the eye is removed, they'll put in a plastic or organic spherical implant to fill the space and hold everything in place. it's made with a bone-like tunnelled surface so that the tissue of your eye socket can graft onto it and give it some of the motion that an eye would have, and they just suture the muscle back into place and leave it to take

In an evisceration it's similar except instead of severing the muscle and nerve, they cut into the sclera (the tissue making up the surface of the eye), open up the eye and remove all the Bits (the lens, cornea, vitreous fluid etc), then they put the implant inside the shell of sclera and suture the sclera and conjunctiva back up over the front.

Evisceration is the preferred method where possible because it's a lot simpler and less invasive. So whether or not Melanie had an evisceration or an enucleation depends on how badly she damaged her eyes (I imagine mostly whether she went in far enough/roughly enough to significantly damage the sclera/eye socket)

There are other eye removal surgeries that remove stuff around the eyes (like the lids) or that don't allow for implants, but those are much more for very extensive damage (or tumors/aggressive infections) not really the sort of targeted damage Melanie inflicted.

After surgery, your eyelids are stitched together for the first few weeks to give them time to adjust. it's a single stitch that's removed after 2-3 weeks. behind that they put a 'conformer' which is a piece of clear plastic to prevent the eyelids contracting as they heal.

It should stop hurting after a couple of days, but for the first few days you may get a lot of headaches and nausea (eyestrain symptoms, basically)

It heals pretty fast (you're meant to be back to normal activity after bit over a week, although you shouldn't rub or touch your eyes for a fortnight). you have to wear bandages and pads for the first week to keep the swelling down, but after that you wouldn't expect to have bandaged eyes.

while your eyes are stitched closed you are going to gently wash them in boiled water periodically to clear up any mucus or dried blood. once the stitches come out you're going to have to do antibiotic eye drops for a while to keep it clean and safe while it heals

It takes 2-3 months for your eye socket to heal well enough to start fitting a prosthetic (I'm not sure what the time scale is with Melanie's situation bc I don't know how long has meant to have passed between MAG154 and MAG160, but my sense is that since 8 weeks is the minimum to start the fitting process and the actual prosthetic production can take a while, she probably didn't have time to get set up with prosthetics)

Prosthetics are an aesthetic choice not a health one. your eye will be fine without one, the glass/plastic prosthetic eyes aren't structural bc you've got that implant they put in during surgery too fill the space of your eye, they're just a cover that fits over the front of the implant to make it look more like an eye (sort of like putting in a giant contact lens). before you're fitted for a prosthetic you're going to keep wearing the conformer to help your eyelids keep their shape.

The implant (sans prosthetic) doesn't fill the whole of the same space as an eye, if I'm understanding right, because the prosthetic has to fit snugly behind the eyelids. Natural eyes aren't spherical, they curve out at the front with the lens and iris sitting on top of the orb, and the glass eye takes up that space.

Because of that, an enucleated eye without a prosthetic in doesn't push against the eyelids the way a whole eye does. There's still a curvature to the lid - you can still see the orb behind it, they aren't falling back into the socket like with a non-surgically removed missing eye - but if the eye is open the lids are likely to be a bit slack and droopy compared to before the enucleation. to me it looks a lot like a severe lazy eye - often very nearly closed and with a downward slant. the eyelid often needs surgical correction even with a prosthetic in to look the way it did before losing the eye.

in the open eye, you can see the implant clearly. when it's healed it will be mostly overgrown with conjunctiva (the tissue that you can see around the rim of your eye and on the backs of your eyelids). this means it's pinkish-red, with fleshy tissue stretched quite thinly over the the white of the implant. then a prosthetic will go over the top of that if it's worn, between the conjunctiva on the outside of the implant and the inside of the eyelid. the fact that the conjunctiva is covering hard white "bone" rather than skin means that the implant looks a slightly lighter pink than the rims of the eyes and has a somewhat different texture.

Light won't cause pain (sunglasses would, again, be an aesthetic choice not a practical one - it's not like some surgeries that leave you very light sensitive, you haven't really got anything to BE light sensitive) but early on moving your eyes too much or rubbing them might hurt.

Unless you get an injection you shouldn't need much physical followup beyond getting your stitches out, but the NHS provides counseling services to help you adjust to losing the eye (and I assume this is more substantial for something like Melanie's case where you go from being fully-sighted to fully blind in a sudden and traumatic way. I'm struggling to find anything about what to expect from bilateral enucleation and I imagine that's because the circumstances that require removing both eyes are fairly limited, since surgical enucleation is pretty rare anyway and usually it's because of an accident or a cancer which are likely to mostly affect one eye)

once you get a prosthetic, it stays in most of the time - you don't remove it to sleep, swim, bathe or anything else. you take it out and wash it once every few weeks. it can be uncomfortable to start with and feel too tight behind your eyelids. you pop it out with a wee plunger and put it in like a giant contact lens.

this means unless she really screwed up her blinding and had to have drastic surgery like removing her lids or muscles, which I don't think is likely to be the case, her face probably won't look super different by S5 except that her eyes will be droopier and more half-closed than before (if she's not wearing prosthetics. if she is wearing prosthetics they'll probably look normal she just won't be able to focus on anything or like. see. but visually the lack of focal depth should be the only tell). what you can see of her 'eyes' probably won't be the classic symbol-of-blindness Empty White Orbs - they'll be a similar shape to an eyeball and a similar colour to the rims of her eyes/her tear duct. she might be wearing sunglasses but she probably wouldn't bother in the apocalypse unless it really worried her how she looked. she almost certainly wouldn't have bandages, pads or patches over her eyes. she might well be wearing a conformer if it's up to a couple of months after the surgery, which will make her 'eyes' shinier and from the looks of photos, maybe look darker/redder? if she's got a prosthetic, it will probably be a standard one (because custom ones are really expensive) which means it may not perfectly match how her eyes looked before and will probably not be anything funky like rainbows or idk, cat eyes, however fun I think that would be. if she's wearing a prosthetic or conformer she's likely to want to use eyedrops because they can be a bit dry and itchy on the eyelids.

#Melanie King #eyes #ok also yeah again I have no expertise here #so please tell me if I've got something wrong

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jaskiersvalley · 4 years ago

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For the Aiden/Cahir/Lambert pairing I never thought about those three together before but now I'm hooked. Thank you. :)

Those three together are on my mind a lot. And quite often they are joined by Eskel. I think they’re a lot of fun in a modern setting too - varying levels of disasters all trying (and succeeding!) to make life something worth living. As a little thank you for joining me on sailing this rare ship, have the three idiots attempting to woo Eskel into their relationship with a home cooked meal.

The house was buzzing with manic energy by the time Aiden got home. It was a big night, Eskel had finally agreed to a dinner with the three of them. Maybe he hadn’t quite allowed himself to believe that this was a date because he seemed his usual robust self at work. Still, he was due in half an hour, needing to swing by and check on Scorpion before heading over to what had been Cahir’s house but now seemed to be mayhem central.

To start with, the smell of burnt who knew what seemed to waft through the house. Aiden knew they should have gotten takeaway but the other two seemed determined to make it a home cooked meal. It seemed that the first attempt had been a bit of a failure and Aiden would put money on the fact it got burnt because of a blowjob.

“Wait! Wait!” He could hear Lambert’s voice from the kitchen. “What did you just do with the butter?”

A tinny voice replied that sounded dangerously like Jaskier. Why he was needed though was a mystery to Aiden and he didn’t even want to think about what they were doing to the butter. Stepping into the kitchen it was like two toddlers high on a sugar rush had been on a rampage. Only, there were no toddlers, there was only Lambert, Cahir and a great big mess.

“Don’t ask,” Cahir sighed as he kissed Aiden on the cheek. If someone didn’t know Cahir, they would assume he was competent, efficient and serious. Even now, Aiden so dearly wanted to believe he was the sensible one who had been doing damage control while Lambert laid waste to the kitchen. Alas, years of familiarity meant that Aiden knew better.

“What happened to the fish?”

“An incompatibility between instructions, competence and too many cooks.”

Lambert turned and waved at Aiden with a spatula. Melted butter splashed indiscriminately on every surface. “Hey babe! We decided the fish wasn’t good enough. Jaskier is helping us. We’re making-” he turned to the phone on the side, “-what are we making again?”

A mutter of “a fucking mess” from Cahir was met with an annoyed scowl from Lambert.

“Pasta carbonara, dear heart,” Jaskier said. Even he sounded weary now. “It’s what I’m making for Geralt this evening. You know, it being our anniversary that I should be getting ready for and all. Is that Aiden who has come home? Hey Aiden!”

“Jaskier!” Aiden greeted cheerfully. “Thank you for helping my two wayward fools in their attempts. Dare I ask what happened with the fish? It smells like it got a little over done.”

A nervous little chuckle from Cahir didn’t make Aiden’s confidence soar. In fact, when even Lambert looked a little sheepish, Aiden began to regret asking.

“The recipe called for lemon juice.” That wasn’t explanation enough and Aiden waited for Lambert to keep talking. “We don’t have lemons.”

“They tried to improvise,” Jaskier cut in. “That is why we’re all making carbonara. But tell Aiden what you wanted to do.”

Lambert didn’t look very embarrassed. “There were some gummy bears in the cupboard. The yellow ones are lemon flavoured.”

“He made three bears sit on the rim of each plate,” Cahir cut it. “It did actually look quite cute.”

Aiden blinked a couple of times, trying to suppress a shudder. Gummy sweets with fish just didn’t seem like a well matched texture.

“Tell him what you were suggesting we do instead.” Jaskier was a little too gleeful. “Because you were so against the idea of melting the gummy bears down to make the sauce.”

There was a moment of silence and Cahir stared at his feet, shoulders rising up. “I suggested we use Lemsip.”

“The-” Aiden needed a moment before trying again, “-the cold medicine?”

“It tastes of lemon?”

Aiden was never letting the two cook. Either he was taking over the kitchen as his domain or they were ordering takeaway. There was no way on earth he would survive if Lambert and Cahir were left to cook. It was time to take charge.

“Cahir, sweetheart, why don’t you go and lay the table?” Ever eager to please, Cahir started grabbing things from the cupboards and drawers. It left Aiden free to sidle up to Lambert, “As for you-” his tone was playfully threatening, “-go get washed up, you have more gunk in your hair than usual.”

“It’s called fashion, look it up,” Lambert shot back but he kissed the tip of Aiden’s nose before handing him a grubby spatula.

Turning to the phone, Aiden took a fortifying breath. “Thank you for helping them. I assumed the food got burnt because they couldn’t keep their hands off each other.” Maybe he was a little glad to be proven wrong. He didn’t always want to be nagging them when, in reality, he was just as bad.

“Oh that was absolutely why the food got burned. I think the gummy bears got melted to a tray.” Why Jaskier sounded so cheery about it was beyond Aiden. He shook his head and tried not to think about it. Instead, he tried to pick up where Lambert had left off. Thankfully with Jaskier’s guidance it was relatively quick work and Cahir was grabbing glasses when the last of the instructions were given. “You just need to boil the pasta with a pinch of salt and you’re done!”

“Sweet. Cahir, honey, could you grab the pasta for me? My hands have been Lambert-ed.”

As asked, Cahir pulled the jar out that they usually had their pasta in. Two lone shells rattled at the bottom. Still holding the jar, Cahir looked at Aiden, lower lip caught between his teeth.

“I knew I forgot something when I went to the shop on the hunt for lemons.”

Face falling, Aiden didn’t have time to say anything as the doorbell went and it drowned out Jaskier’s howling laughter. It was too late, they were getting takeaway. Thankfully, Eskel didn’t mind.

#lambert/aiden/cahir #background geraskier #eskel/lambert/cahir/aiden #lambert #Cahir Mawr Dyffryn aep Ceallach #aiden #eskel #jaskier #modern au #tldr: don't let cahir and lambert cook

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forasecondtherewedwon · 3 years ago

Text

Fourth Coming

Fandom: The Wilds Rating: T Word Count: 2157

Summary: And on the twenty-third day, Nora ate goat and thought about love.

Nora sees the experiment through two lenses, like the red and blue acetate in those cheap 3D glasses. One lens is the scientific, the other is the brutal. When she puts these metaphorical glasses on, she’s just there, in the middle of it, but when she’s feeling particularly tired (understandably often) or just relaxed (inexplicably often—a fact to be concealed from the others), she shifts between the two views. Each is sharper alone than they are combined.

Scientific: counting the days; subtly taking her own inventory of the rations; monitoring Fatin’s dehydration, the commensurate level of distrust the rest of the group have for her.

Brutal: cold fingers in wet, black sand, disinterring Jeanette’s grave; Dot’s tumbling, shivering recount of spearing and battering a snake; ralphing, ralphing, ralphing bad mussels.

It isn’t until the goat that these contrary perspectives finally attain a kind of beautiful balance in Nora’s brain. And it isn’t her thoughts, or rereading one of her journal entries, that has her mental clouds clearing. Actually, it’s what Leah says. About barbecues and normalcy and the Fourth of July. Leah’s remark—possibly offhand, certainly poisonous, even if Nora can’t see how yet—gracelessly and unselfconsciously reveals the barbarism of order. A social gathering on the same day each year, centered around fire (fireworks, sure, but Nora is amazed by how dazzled people are by something not so very far advanced from what had the cavepeople oohing and awwing) and the cooking of meat. Ritual is the summit at which the scientific and the brutal join hands.

The day doesn’t matter. (Every day could have been June 29th and what difference would that have made for them on this island?) The conditions of their environment haven’t changed. (No major shift in the seasons or significant weather patterns, just the single freakish high tide.) The slaughter of the goat and the subsequent cookout should be put down to chance, Nora knows. Toni, Martha, and Shelby decided to look for food. Martha happened to find the goat. She happened to lay her hands on a tool that could do the job. She happened to be successful. And now, miraculous barbecue in honour of… what?

Nora’s sure that most of the girls would say the feast is in honour of themselves, their power, their survival. All of that would really put a spit-shine on Gretchen’s mission statement, but Nora’s not just an agent, a plant, a spy, a wolf in castaway’s clothing. She seeks to understand as much as she always has. She wonders if Shelby thanks god for the goat, or eats it as a form of praise. Nora constantly spots her toying with the cross on her necklace, frequently in a way that holds it far from her throat, almost like she’s thinking about ripping the necklace off and hurling it into the ocean. That would be going a bit far, but then, so is hacking your hair off because a brush got stuck.

Their ritual could be the sacrifice of another creature in the hopes of sparing themselves—a kind of desperate, gasping celebration. Privately, Nora decides they’re celebrating love. Leah’s persistent aura of tragic romance is part of the inspiration for that, but she isn’t part of either of the two developing relationships Nora’s been observing.

Martha’s picking at her goat meat glumly, so Nora rises and goes over to her. Her gait is unsteady on this sand and on these legs, weakened over the past two days of starvation, but it’s enough to carry her until she can slump down next to Martha. Sweet and strong, vulnerable and clearly capable (judging by the sizzle of fat dripping from the roasting goat leg and hitting the fire), Martha smiles when Nora joins her. Nora smiles back and that’s enough between them for a few minutes.

Nora watches the browned meat, nearly allowing herself to be hypnotized by the texture that urges her to sink her teeth in, the crispy spots she knows would taste incredible. But she can’t gorge herself; her stomach needs to be cool about what she’s already eaten or the chewed up goat goes the way of the slurped mussels Rachel found.

Carefully, Nora turns her head to study Martha. She decides that what this girl needs is the same thing Leah needed on Day 12 when she was sitting alone on the beach: some kind of dirty joke. Since she’s fresh out of filthy material of the Christmas variety, Nora tells Martha, “One second,” and heaves herself up again. She comes back dragging Marcus. He’ll be her muse, but it’s also a reunion of lovers.

“You two could get married,” Nora tells Martha. “Shelby said she was an ordained youth minister, remember?”

They laugh and it’s softer than the crackle of the fire. Nora likes that. The steady, rolling sound of their laughs together. How they taper off, unlike the ceaseless noise of breaking waves that drives Nora insane whenever she surfaces from her numbness to the sound. Like becoming conscious of your breathing and working like hell to stop noticing it, because having to purposefully regulate every breath is exhausting and terrifying.

Martha frowns a little in consideration, then half-smiles.

“Nah. I don’t know if I’m ready to commit like that. I think this could just be a fling. All those abs and he didn’t come help me haul that goat.”

“That’s true.” When Martha gazes at the mannequin, Nora assesses Marcus as well. “And it’s not like you’d want to keep him around because he gives great head.”

“He might’ve once,” Martha defends, brushing hair out of her face when a breeze kicks up, “but he gave so much head that there’s none left for me.”

They catch each other staring at the clean line where Marcus’s neck ends and nothing rests above it and trip into laughter again. Though Nora feels like she accomplished her dirty joke, Martha made it even better. People have underestimated her. Nora’s noted it from the start. It’s probably because Martha was injured. Group dynamics were established quickly and have formed and reformed in the days and weeks since, but Day 1 showed them the rawest version of who they are together and, before they knew about Jeanette, Martha was the weak one. Have the others seen her role evolve like Nora has? Are Nora’s observations anything special, really?

“This is totally not a judgement thing or anything,” Nora says, meaning it. “I was just wondering if you were maybe going to wash your clothes. Or change them.”

“Oh.”

Martha looks down at herself and now Nora’s glad she said something; it doesn’t seem like Martha was really aware that she’s been sitting here crusted in drying blood. Nora weighs the acceptability of a period joke and decides against it.

“You don’t have to,” she assures Martha, raising a gentle hand. “It just seemed like maybe the, uh, the slaughtering process? Was kind of a mindfuck?”

“Yeah.” Martha stares straight ahead and lets out a short laugh that Nora doesn’t join her in. “I’m glad Marcus wasn’t there to see. He might not’ve come back the same.”

Nora peers at her a moment, then resolves to just say what she’s thinking.

“Did you?”

Turning her head, Martha looks at Nora and her smile’s the same, but her eyes are different. No, Nora would write in the journal. The answer is plain. Maybe she’ll record it on paper later and maybe she won’t. Looking into Martha’s eyes, Nora knows she won’t need help remembering this.

“I’m just living my best life,” Martha tells her, batting the ends of her hair with her hand.

It sounds like something Fatin would say in this moment, or at least have printed on a t-shirt or something—it’s flip and glib—and for the very reason that it reminds Nora of Fatin, she’s certain that Martha not only means the silly words sincerely but that she feels the kind of truth in the trope, the mindfulness in the meme, that Fatin fights so hard to experience herself. Fatin is deeper than that ocean over there and Martha is a girl scooping out the sand in front of her mannequin boyfriend, digging him a sturdy trench to rest in so she can lean back against his factory-sculpted physique, painted in the blood of her first kill.

For whatever reason, Marcus is the man Martha wants. Nora can’t imagine him becoming anyone else’s property after all this is over.

“Do you want a lychee instead?” she offers. Martha’s flat-out ignoring her leaf-plate of meat now.

“Maybe in a minute.”

She turns her dreamy eyes away from where she’s rubbing a streak of dirt off Marcus’s bicep. Nora follows her gaze to Shelby, who seems to be counting out and partitioning the lychee haul, looking to Dot from time to time. Dot isn’t interfering, just giving encouraging nods when Shelby seeks them out. And of course Toni’s watching too.

“You think they’re telling the truth?” Nora inquires bluntly. “That whole ‘wrong turn in the woods’ story?”

Martha shrugs and says, “Yeah,” but Fatin scootches towards them, evidently drawn by the hum of gossip in the air.

“Are you talking about Toni and Shelby?” she asks, but it’s more of a demand. Her eyes are bright and excited, her mouth grinning, and Nora knows that a lot of that effect is thanks to their first meal in days, but it astounds her how socializing lights Fatin up as much as it used to shut Nora down.

“No,” Martha says quickly, but no faster than Nora’s flat, “Yes.”

“Dope. Yeah, those two are a hundred percent lying.”

“Are you sure?” Nora asks.

She’s not, but the cameras will be. Seeing the footage afterwards isn’t something she negotiated on when Gretchen made her part of the team. Speculation, though less scientific, is much more fun.

Fatin rolls her eyes like Nora’s questioning the laws of gravity. (She blinks and sees the poster of Newton. Sees Newton seeing the apple. Her throat closes up until she softly coughs it clear.)

“Definitely,” Fatin says. “Even if they were just out there all day picking fruit, it’s still the most sapphic thing I’ve ever heard. It’s, like, biblically sapphic.”

Martha laughs.

“Uhhh, sorry, which version of the Bible did you read?”

Nora smiles broadly and looks from Martha’s expression of brimming joy to Fatin’s concentrated delight. Like she’s on to something and whether or not she’s right is beside the point. That kind of approach makes Nora pleasantly dizzy. She remembers being little, standing at a department store perfume counter she couldn’t see over while her mom spritzed scents on her wrists that floated down to Nora’s nose. Fruit and flowers and anything and everything that could make the air beautiful when a woman walked into a room.

“None, but come on, there’s the garden, right? I know some shit. The marketing for this retreat was super Christian-centric anyway. We’re out here representing the fucking Dawn of Eve!” Fatin gestures triumphantly around at their dismal (except for the goat) camp. “If those two bitches weren’t getting their freak on under a fruit tree last night, I’ll eat my gold watch.”

Nora scrutinizes the girls in question.

“Shelby does look especially glowy today.”

“Maybe she’s born with it, maybe it’s chronic sun damage,” Martha singsongs.

“Maybe it’s what Toni did to those mussels with her tongue,” Fatin acknowledges frankly, “because Shelby sure as hell didn’t borrow my hundred-dollar highlighter. That shit got swept out to sea.”

Fatin trains her eyes on Shelby while Martha watches Toni, and Nora watches both of them watch the others. When they switch subjects in a moment of unvoiced agreement, Toni jerks her head up and spots Fatin staring at her. The tender gazes she’s been throwing Shelby’s way over the low mound of red fruit tighten into suspicion.

“What the fuck are you looking at?” Toni barks, and a laugh sputters from Fatin as she raises her hands to show she means no harm.

“Ok,” Martha says to Fatin and Nora, giggling. “I see it now. Something happened between Shelby and Toni yesterday. Some kind of hunter-gatherer romance.”

“I’m pretty sure you’ve taken the ‘hunter’ title away from Shelby,” Nora points out.

“Well, whatever. Gatherer-gatherer then.”

“With an island colony of all women, it was only a matter of time,” is Fatin’s pragmatic take. “Another couple weeks without an orgasm and I would’ve fucked Toni myself.”

“It wasn’t just time,” Martha scoffs, tipping her head to the side. “It’s love.”

“It’s both,” Nora says. She could prove it to them, flourish the statistics she’s been tracking in her journal. How those bald numbers lie there next to the drawings that spill to the edge of the page. She’s made bedfellows of data and emotions. She just sits there and grins at them. “It’s the aphrodisiacal influence of the Fourth of July.”

#my writing #The Wilds #Nora Reid #Martha Blackburn #Fatin Jadmani #Toni x Shelby #The Wilds fanfiction #The Wilds spoilers

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marshmallowprotection · 4 years ago

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Hi! So your oc Lila is dating SE Saeran but is she also dating Ray & Grave? :o (if not, I was wondering what her relationship with them is like!)

A reminder of what the boys look like in the headspace.

Lila isn’t in a relationship with them at first. Ray and Grave need time to adjust to living in this world again. Ray woke up in a world where he wasn’t around at all and he had been wiped from it. There was no sign that he had ever lived in this bunker and it stressed him out. It was like he was intruding on Saeran’s new and better life without him. He spent the first few times that he woke up trying to see and learn what he could about this place. He was petrified of Saeyoung and had struggle being near him without feeling himself panic. The only reason that he’d kept control of himself was Lila.

Before and after he revealed himself to her, she had always treated him with a great amount of kindness and respect. He never knew what it felt like to have a friend and she treated him... unlike anyone. Even if she didn’t know who he was at first. She became his first real friend, he’ll tell you that. He slowly let himself trust Seven’s two partners, Minji and Judas, but Lila was the one that he felt like he could truly trust because Saeran trusted her without hesitation. She smiled at him and never once judged him. She saw worth in him when he felt like he was a menace.

Ray doesn’t realize that he’s got stronger feelings for her for quite some time, actually. They’re just friends for quite some time. She’s the one that noticed that he had an interest in photography and exploring that, even though Ray felt like it was wrong of him to do that when the subject of... photography is something that can bother Saeran. She gave him an outlet to do it.

She showed him that it was okay for him to want to do things that the others didn’t want to try. Like, Grave had already taken up music as his hobby at that point, and Ray had relegated himself to only cleaning and cooking. Why is it that he shouldn’t do things that he likes? They share a lot of the same interests, too, both in photography and with cute stuff. Lila spends a lot of time helping Ray find things that he’d prefer to wear (she does that with all of them, clothes can help you feel more comfortable in your own skin; Grave isn’t allowed to dye their hair nor is Ray, because that stuff is fried and Saeran wants to let it rest, so clothes are what they can do).

That’s why most of his wardrobe is pink, cottagecore, and soft. He likes those textures. Ray spends a lot of time with Lila, and it feels right. He likes that they have a friendship that’s so strong and faithful. It’s just... one day he realizes that when he looks at her, he’s thinking about more than platonic cuddling and hand-holding. He starts thinking about what it would feel like to kiss her and what it may feel like to be able to do what Saeran does with her, but he doesn’t want to upset her, or Saeran, or anyone else. He keeps it balled up. That’s how he deals with his problems.

The only reason that comes clean to her is that he tries to isolate himself and it backfires on him. He feels ashamed of himself for having feelings for her when she’s dating Saeran. He’s supposed to help Saeran, not do something like this. It takes a lot of talking with Saeran for him to... feel okay with it. Saeran’s not very angry with him. Saeran’s not like how he used to be, and he understands why Ray would be drawn to her. She’s got a strong heart, even if she’s a little different than how she was when they first met. He has learned that he can trust Ray, and he tells Ray that as long as Lila is okay with it, he can talk to her about his feelings.

That takes a bit of talking with Saeran and Lila about it, though. Lila is surprised by the revelation but she’s not upset with him. She’s flattered that someone else likes her like that. It’s a first for her. She’s fond of him as well, but she didn't want to rush him or scare him. She knew that he had a crush but she didn't want to make him upset.

So, they quietly start a relationship as well, but it’s different than how she is with Saeran, of course. They’re different people. Most of the time, they’re just curled up together on the couch watching movies, working in the garden, or baking together. They don’t need to go out and do wild things, they just enjoy each other’s company. With Saeran, they’re always together but they’re much more expressively tied together. They don’t need words. With Ray, Lila has to take the lead often and remind Ray that she likes him. It just feels right.

Now, if we’re talking about Grave...

That’s another story entirely, and that’s even more intense. You see, Grave was around when they were in Mint Eye together. Grave is the one that blurred the lines with Unknown whenever something dangerous happened. Grave is the one with the memory of the worst moment in Mint Eye; Spoiler Alert for Petunia, the main Assistant AU fic: Wisteria rushes into the room at the last minute to try and stop Unknown from shooting V, but she gets shot instead on accident. Nobody knows this, but Grave is the one that flooded to the surface at that moment as Saeran overloaded.

He’s the one that pulled the trigger. But, both Saeran and he shares this memory... and neither of them knows for sure who really pulled the trigger, though, Grave said he did. That’s actually why Grave woke up. Saeran fears hurting someone. He fears hurting her again. Even though she’s forgiven him and understood why that happened. Grave could feel the anger... he can remember his anger. He wants to burn everything down and he nearly lashes out to blame Saeyoung for what happened when he wakes up. He blames him for that. He won’t say outright what the trigger was to him wanting to lash out, but there’s a hint.

Lila is the one that tells him that he has a right to be angry. She’s the first person to tell him that it’s okay to be pissed off. Anger isn’t a bad thing, he just can’t go and hurt others because of it. He can be angry, but he’s only hurting himself by doing this. He clearly wants to protect Saeran, but hurting the ones that he cares about won’t help. So, Grave grits his teeth knowing that she’s right. He’s very intense with her, honestly, very much so at first. He says that he tolerates her because she’s the only person in that house with sense. He’s seen her angry, and he’s seen her spiteful. He knows that she understands him... if only just a little.

She suggests that he tries new things to even himself out. He decides to pick up music again, it was something that the Savior let him do when he needed to go and shift his focus. He’ll often come and sit in her workroom to practice since he hates prying questions from Saeyoung, Minji, or Judas. She doesn’t ask, she just lets him exist. Lila actually likes listening to him, he’s very talented and quite a fast learner. There’s something about the way that he plays that makes her rather emotional. She never comments on his music unless he asks, but she’s very honest with him about it.

He chides her often and tells her that she’s gotten too soft, he wants to see her call him out for missing a note. You see, Grave pushes Lila’s buttons. He wants to see her crack. He wants to see how hard he can push this girl who wants to play nice. It’s intense. Grave is someone that pokes at a lion in a cage for fun, to be honest. They bicker a lot. Grave likes to debate and he likes pushing her back, the Lila in the SE endings is easier to make angry. She pushes back, and honestly? The tension between the two of them during those arguments is far too strong. I mean, it’s obvious he likes her but he’s acting like a bully who pulls your hair on the playground. And, after she opens up with Ray and starts dating him as well, that leaves Grave out of the loop.

He’s angry about it but he doesn’t know how to express it without doing things like, “You’re mine too! It’s not fair that they get all your attention when I deserve time with you too!” and he insults Ray, and she won’t have that. They get into a small argument and it turns into one of those things where you’re pinned against the wall and you just wind up kissing because there are so so many emotions in that room. By the time either one of them realizes what’s happening, it’s too much for Grave. He sinks back out of the front for a while.

He has this internal struggle of: Why the fuck did I do that? Why the fuck didn’t I do it sooner? What the hell are these feelings? Basically, a repeat of what goes on in the latter days of Another Story, we all know the song and dance. Lila, of course, is honest with Saeran and Ray about what happened, and they’re not upset. They’re more upset that Grave blew her off like that and won’t even talk it out. It takes a little while for Grave to open up to her.

It mostly takes Lila being honest with her feelings for him to open up. He doesn’t want to be the first and he doesn’t want to look weak. So, she has to frame it as her needing him in a sense. She gets it. His pride is fragile and he doesn’t know how to be in a relationship. So, she opens that dialogue with him and offers to give him a chance to try this out. With Grave, it’s like a heated discussion about things. They’re always involved in that, or they’re discussing the finer points of something without mincing words. He just enjoys being close to someone that doesn’t overwhelm him.

Grave isn’t always touchy-feely. The most that he does for quite a while is simply kiss her when he wants affection. He doesn’t know that he can ask for hugs or hold her hand. He’s not Ray or Saeran, you know? She gets the hint and often does the first move with him, to ensure that he knows that she understands what he wants. Time spent listening to the other work in silence is common for them.

So, she does wind up in a relationship with Grave and Ray but it’s not happening in a single day.

I can talk about her friendship with Su-Jin if you’d like to ask about that as well, but that’s just fluff because he’s a kid and she looks out for him like a big sister would. She dotes on him a lot, ruffling his hair and letting him know that he is doing his best. She’s the one that does his hair, actually. If you’ve seen what I drew for how they see themselves in the headspace, you’ll notice that Su-Jin has some rabbit clips. Lila gave those to him! That’s just wholesome fluff that they all deserve.

#ask #anon #mod kait #se suit saeran #se ray #se saeran #su-jin #kid saeran #secret ending #lila lancelot oc #cmc #character analysis #long post

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ghostboy-gamedev · 5 years ago

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Learn Log #4 - Grassy Grove

On week 4 of my pixel art journey, I learned how to make objects of nature including grass, bushes and trees. Unfortunately, I had to postpone this to this week when the learning and blog post was set for last week as I was just preparing for a return to university (it’s all online – social distancing dw). Anyway, I ended up making the forest scene you see above, and it was a lot of fun. I think that the GUI elements last week had a focus on technicality and exactness. Letters are very rigid, and we have somewhat set ideas about what each character should look like. However, nature is more flexible and therefore logic isn’t as heavily involved.

Tile Sets

Before jumping into the actual elements of this week’s piece I want to talk about making pixel art tiles. You will have probably noticed that the nature scene is quite rigid like each element is set into a box. This is because I’m learning pixel art to make games and games often use tile sprites to build their environment.

Tile sprites are the floors and sometimes walls of the environment. They often loop or repeat to cover the environment, however, some engines have tools allowing game designers to build environments tile by tile.

In the first case, the tile sprite will have to be created with its looping in mind and details may be added to provide variation in the environment. However, these added details may highlight the repeating the pattern and the more a detail sticks out the obvious the repetition becomes. Additionally, smaller tiles will repeat more frequently, and this also shows repeating textures.

The second scenario requires variation to be created from the creation of multiple tiles. This is great for creating variation; however, the tiles will also have to line up with each other which may be trickier for more rigid surfaces like rocks or bricks.

Since Unity has a tile builder tool and I was creating a natural environment where tiles wouldn’t need to line up so clearly – I decided to go with the second option.

The size of the tiles may also dictate the size of the rest of the game. For example, a bush may be 1 tile large in terms of level design, so the size of that bush is determined by the size of the tile. This also goes for the player whose sprite will typically range from 1 tile to 2x2 tiles. I decided to just make my tiles 16x16 as I enjoy learning within that space.

Grass

A grass tile is typically made of a green background with blades of grass texturing the surface. Many people may open up a couple of green canvases and start texturing them with green lines, however, there’s a much better way to do things I think. Since we’re working with 16x16 tiles there’s a limited number of shapes that look like grass and are small enough to fit within the tile. So, if we make a bunch of lines in green then we have blades of grass that we can copy and paste into each tile (the blades should typically be a lighter green as light will be hitting them).

However, having blades of grass like this make tiles look flat. Adding shading will fix this issue by giving the grass depth, however, more complicated shading will obviously make the background more complicated which can affect the readability of your game.

Each blade of grass can now be copied into a 16x16 canvas to make grass tiles. I made 4 grass tiles shown below putting approximately 10 blades into each tile. I made each tile with different elements of the environment in mind such as short grass, long grass, bushy grass and leafy grass.

With these tiles, I created a larger image to test the repetition of the tiles. The repetition wasn’t a big issue; however, I didn’t think the leafy grass fit with the rest of the grass, so I decided to leave it behind for the next stage.

Next, I was going to add an extra tile for each of the current textures to reduce repetition as well as two flower variants for each tile type to add some colours into the textures. I did another test of the tiles’ repetition and overall look and it looked good but somewhat cluttered though I figured that this wouldn’t be an issue when I deliberately place the tiles rather than randomly scatter them.

I had in my mind the type of scene I wanted to make for this week, but it required dirt paths. Luckily this wasn’t an issue to make. I made two variations of the straight, one-way paths as they would be tiling and altered one of these tiles slightly to make the curve and intersection tiles.

I then assembled these 15 tiles into the image below.

Trees

Next, I wanted to add some plant life which would involve trees and bushes. I decided to do trees first as they would be larger than the bushes. First, I started with the shape of the tree which would be fairly basic. I made a rough tree trunk shape to start with and topped it with a circle that was a little squished before refining the shape a little more to get what’s shown below.

I then added colour into the tree. A simple brown for the bark and 4 shades of green for the leaves. These greens were made by colour picking the base green background and hue-shifting it towards yellow so the tree would stand out more from the background.

The colours are organised into ovals to help give the tree a sense of depth. The dark shades wrap around the edges of the tree to show the tree’s roundness. The colour thins out as it goes around because you’re viewing the shaded leaves from a side-on perspective.

Next, I blurred the lines between these circles by mixing the colours slightly. This was the start of adding leaves onto the tree. Quickly after that, I added more detail to the leaves by spotting the head of the tree with lighter greens. The details added were in ‘leaf-like’ shapes like hearts, single lines, and arrows. They don’t look like leaves individually and can’t receive much detail themselves (such as a stem) but together they make the tree look nice and bushy. I also added some detail to the tree trunk including shading.

The tree trunk seemed a little off when I checked it out with the image I had so far, unfortunately. So, I added some extra trunk at the bottom along with a nice shadow. This shadow was the colour black at a transparency of 127 (or half transparency). This works really well as a quick and easy shadow on detailed background, but it does, unfortunately, mean the shaded area is not hue-shifted as typically preferred. The final product is below.

Looking at this sprite you may think it would be difficult to construct a game environment due to the leaves, trunk shape and shadow involved. However, we can place each section down as a separate 16x16 tile with the main trunk tile being a collider and other tiles not having a collision box (like decoration tiles – we don’t want players to run into tree leaves). This works out really well, and I focused on the main trunk tile when positioning the sprite in the piece. Which is shown below.

However, the scene below is bit lonely so I thought I’d add some pine trees as a level border. The process of the pine tree is similar so I won’t describe each step but will show the images. This time around I did shape the tree a bit more wildly with branches and leaves sticking out from the tree. I also hue shifted towards bluer colours rather than the more yellow colours I used in the round tree.

Next, it was time to add more trees into the scene and add some grass beneath them. I made the grass beneath them short grass simply because it looks a bit neater than the other grass types.

I think it looks pretty neat! I made a pine tree variant by swapping the colours with that of the round tree for some variation which worked as a nice, easy trick. But it would look livelier with some bushes.

Bushes

You might have looked at the trees just before and thought, ‘That kind of looks like a bush on a stump.’ That’s because the techniques used to make bushes and trees are typically very similar depending on the style of the game. Since we’re using a 16x16 size which is somewhat limited they will likely turn out in roughly the same way.

I started with a circle shape that was modified at the bottom to be a bit flatter. This will hopefully give the impression that the bush is touching the ground and rounds out on the top

I did a similar process in colouring the bush as I did with the tree, however, I used fewer colours as I didn’t have as much room for highlights with the bush. The colours used are actually the same as those in the pine tree.

I then adjusted the outline to give the bush a wilder feel as well as texturing the inside of the bush to create the appearance of leaves.

The bush still felt a little flat, so I added highlights to the top of it to add a greater sense of depth. The highlight was rounded towards its end at the bottom to enforce the rounded nature of the bush. This required me to add another outline tone for highlights which I might apply to other elements of the picture. I was pretty happy with the bush, so I made another for variation and added them into the picture with some shadows.

The picture looked pretty good, but I thought some touch-ups might make it just that little bit better.

Touch-Ups/Conclusion

To touch up the piece I added some more trees for denser looking forest, added the lighter outline colour to the tress and expanded shadows around some of the pine trees. I’m pretty happy with how it turned out. I think the shadows could use some refinement at the top border of trees. I also think that top border highlights the repeating pine tree trunk which could also be changed to tile better. I do wish my bushes were a bit leafier than shrub-like, however, I think my ability to make leaves on both bushes and trees will improve as I practice. I also think a 32x32 base picture would allow me to make some more defined leaves. The lighting on the pine trees also uses a different technique to the round tree so next time I’ll try to be more consistent with that. Overall though I’m happy and I quite like the outline highlights as they make the image a bit softer.

That concludes week 4 of learning how to make pixel art. Next week I’ll be looking at sand, water and rocks to make a top-down beach scene.

My learning and this blog post wouldn’t have been made possible without these fantastic resources. Go check them out if you wanna learn some stuff about pixel art!

How to Draw Tiled Pixel Art by TipTut

Creating Variation in Pixel Art TutsByKai

Pixel Art 101: Grass by Pixel Pete

How to Make Pixel Grass Tiles by TutsByKai

RPG Grass Background Tiles by HeartBeast

Pixel Art 101: Trees by Pixel Pete

[Let’s Pixel] Tree by HeartBeast

[Let’s Pixel] Spruce Tree by HeartBeast

Pixel Art 101: Bush by Pixel Pete

#pixel art #learning #gamedev #pixel aesthetic #pixel #gaming #learn

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oristromboli · 4 years ago

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If You Be Our Star, We’ll Be Your Sky | 4

Chapter 4: Behold, a Child(e)

Paimon can and will commit crimes to get what she wants. Xiao finds himself more curious about humans than he wants to admit.

Meanwhile, Liyue welcomes the Eleventh Harbinger back (home).

(Smut this chapter: none)

How many beats can a heart take before it breaks?

One, two, three, four, five…

Five. It takes five beats before Teucer starts to sniffle, fat lips wobbling and tears threatening to pour; five beats before Ajax’s heart aches. He kneels, frozen in place and arms open for an embrace, waiting for Teucer to come to him. Along the docks of Morepesok, his family accompanied his travels back to the ship that arrived oh-so-soon to whisk him away to lands far from Snezhnaya. Both his parents and each of his siblings gave their farewells, parting gifts and food, fussed over his hair (if only his poor mother knew how often it was stained red with dried blood), yet one stood apart from the others.

Teucer acted strong, Ajax will admit it with pride. Though he clutched Mr. Cyclops and Mr. Dirty with ardor, he managed to keep a calm countenance until the last moment when Ajax’s arms opened wide.

When his younger brother drops both dolls – thank the Archons Ajax thought to wrap Mr. Dirty – and barrels into him, he lets out a soft oof and holds his quivering brother close. “D-do you have to go so soon, Big Brother?”

Ajax hums softly, rubbing his brother’s back as the boy hiccups before responding, “Aw, you know I have to go back to selling toys. Our company’s leader was so thrilled with my success last time! Don’t you want Big Brother to succeed?”

Teucer leans back and rubs his eyes with his arm, a snot bubble barely forming in one of his nostrils. “I do… But you promised to teach me how to fight!”

“Ah, I am so glad you brought that up because I have a special gift for you!” Ajax smiles with a sparkle in his eyes as he turns to his knapsack to pull out a necklace. It's a glass claw, though not completely see-through with frosted textures; wrapped around its base is a leather knot. “I saw this at the market and thought about my budding little warrior!”

Ajax’s smile never falters, even as he hears the disapproving tch from his father at the prospect of another fighter. Still, seeing’s Teucer’s growing happiness quiets the rest of his disapproving family.

“An owl’s claw!” Gloved hands reach out to tie the necklace around Teucer’s neck protectively.

“Yep! This is my lucky charm for you.”

“Huh? Your lucky charm? Then why did you give it to me?” Teucer’s head tilts slightly, and oh man, Ajax’s heartbeats in fondness once more.

“Because, silly, you know the old legend about these things. Warriors use it to find their way home.” Tonia and Anton suddenly crowd on either side of Teucer, marveling openly at the gift. “It’s my promise to you that I will always find my way back to you all, I won’t let anything stop me.”

The three siblings suddenly look up and, in unison, chirp: “Pinkie promise?”

Mischievous little things, the lot of them. Ajax laughs heartily. “Of course! You make a pinkie promise, you keep it all your life. You break a pinkie promise, I throw you on the ice –“

“The cold will the kill the pinkie that once betrayed your friend, the frost will freeze your tongue off so you never lie again!” Three little voices finish before he can, but quickly drown the ending when they rush his chest again to bury their faces.

It’s not long before he’s climbing aboard the ship, waving his hand behind him to his family. As the ship’s anchor raises, Teucer’s little legs carry him to the very edge before he takes in a deep breath and cries out, “Big Brother! Sell lots of toys!”

Tartaglia whips around to glare down the snickering Fatui agents who quickly attempt to disguise their laughs as coughs.

“I will, Teucer! Your loyal knight guarantees it! Be good, okay?” He responds cheerfully, waving his arm once more. The boat is slowly making its way out of the harbor, but not before he hears one more prayer from his little owlet.

“I will! I’ll make people happy like you do, too!”

He keeps waving until the Teucer is just out of sight before he sighs and turns, making his way to his cabin. Thankfully, the trip will be swift due to the boat being one of Snezhnaya’s newest models, but he still plans to take the time to recollect himself.

People are happy when they’re dead, right? Yeah, they are, no more tiring shit to worry about, Childe thinks. He’s always been doing those idiots a favor whenever they borrowed what they couldn’t pay back; their lives were bound to become forfeit one way or another anyway. He flexes his hands, feeling life flow through them with the eagerness to rob it from another. The Fatui are happy with his work and his family is happy in their ignorance - that’s all that matters.

When he takes in a deep breath and the salty water tickles his senses, he grins, eyes dulling once more.

---

Two ravens watch as the boat departs. Their glassy eyes peer at Teucer’s little skips, the way his siblings crowd around and coo at the gift.

They take off, following the sweet family home.

---

Oh, oh stars, why do you feel like shit…

It takes a few seconds for you to summon the energy to even open your eyes, your whole body throbbing with pain. Wh… What… Why? Did you drink too much or…? You groan, thoughts fizzling before they can even come as you rise and rub your face. There’s a smell of something… Delicious coming from… Somewhere, but you’re confused. Aether didn’t come wake you up…? You did not hear Paimon’s squeaks either; your blonde companion always made sure you were up in time for breakfast in case she decided to consume your portion. Again.

(“Food shouldn’t go to waste!” she says, all-knowing and ‘innocent.’

“… You little shit – “)

The clattering of utensils would draw your attention, really, it would, but the throbbing in your head won’t stop and the trickle of light between your fingers hurts so much.

“Ah! You are awake,” comes a smooth voice, deep and cheerful. You freeze. That voice. That voice is so familiar…

You blink awake, looking up to spy Zhongli standing in the doorway with amused eyes and – oh. Memories of last night come flooding back and you quickly raise your hands to your cheeks, feeling heat bubbling to the surface.

Much to your disappointment, Zhongli is fully clothed. And you are…

Immediately, you clutch the blanket and pull it over yourself, suddenly all-too aware of how exposed you look; this only draws thick laughter from your companion. “My dear, I believe it is far too late for modesty, no?” His eyes twinkle, yours narrow. “I have taken the liberty of cleaning your clothes for you, they are lying on the chair.” He gestures to his left and you follow the gloved hand – that beautiful, skilled hand – and you find your clothes neatly folded, politely pretending that they weren’t just soiled the night before.

“Thank you,” you manage to croak out, sleep still thick and throat hoarse from your noises from last night. More heat rises to your cheeks as you slowly stretch, failing to catch the lustful gaze following your form. “Did you make breakfast?”

“I did. A slow-cooked bamboo shoot soup I am sure you will appreciate,” he responds. Why is his voice deeper…? Sleep still clouds your mind; you can feel it desperately banging trying to wake you up, but frankly, you could not care less. Only, when you catch his small smirk, you look down and abruptly notice the blanket pooling around your waist to expose your (delightfully marked) chest to the world.

Ah.

“I will be at the table. Intuition tells me you are too tired for a morning exercise?” You snort at the euphemism, but nod along.

“Mm, your intuition is correct. I’ll see you there.”

A handful of minutes later and you emerge from the bedroom, stretching again as you settle in your seat beside Zhongli. He has already started eating and flashes you a small smile in acknowledgement before resuming his careful consumption. Ever the gourmet, you think, before beginning yourself.

“No wonder you’re so particular about your food,” you mumble as another piece of meat slides down your throat, the warmth soothing the pains there. “This is fantastic. Time really lends itself to nuances, doesn’t it?”

Zhongli preens under your praise, chest puffing slightly like a peacock. “I am glad you appreciate the gastronomy of this dish. Several ingredients had to be carefully acquired, and I thought it a fitting offering for your body.”

You sputter around the food, managing to barely swallow it down before coughing out an indignant squawk. “My body? Oh jeez, thanks. Not all of us can change our forms so easily.” Ah, you can’t bring yourself to be disappointed the sarcasm flew over his head with that cute head tilt of his, you just can’t. A thought seems to strike Zhongli as he looks you up and down.

“Considering the unplanned nature of our rendezvous, I believe we may need to stop by Bubu Pharmacy as well. I do not wish for something unexpected to slow your journey.”

“Hm?” What was he talking about…? Except, when you follow his eyes very pointedly staring towards your core, you smile softly. “Oh. No, we don’t need to worry about that. My kind has a more intricate ritual for these sorts of things.”

He tilts his head and damn he’s cute. “A more intricate ritual,” he enunciates slowly. “How fascinating. Why?”

“Mm, life is very precious to us because of how rare it is for one of us to be born. After all, concentrations of energy to make, er, ‘not-mortals’ like us are hard to acquire, it’s not just about the fun part. Think of it like…” You twist your mouth as you try to come up with an appropriate analogy. “Like those elemental spirits in Teyvat, or even adepti children – I think. Anyway, even though they live a lot longer than humans and are uncommon, they’re still kind of easy to make because of the abundance of elemental energy here, right?”

“Yes.”

“So, it’s along those lines too. Just as you are a god of the earth, our people are of the stars, but it’s a lot harder to find the resources in the vastness between worlds.”

“How interesting,” he muses before closing his eyes. “Adepti have a similar ritual since one of our bodies holds much more energy than that of a mortal. It is an art called ‘dual cultivation of qi.’ Put simply, we contribute energy from our own souls to birth another, although that is not all the practice may be used for. Perhaps I can recommend some books to you on the subject?”

You manage to catch the laugh before it comes out because of how casually, yet earnestly, he offers adepti erotica for you to read. As research. Aether’s going to love this one. “Yeah, sure, why not. Actually, on that subject, how did this – “ You gesture vaguely up and down Zhongli’s form. “ – fit inside me towards the end last night? Adepti magic too?”

He smiles at that. “Something of the sort. I am surprised you did not notice the Geo sigil.”

“Huh. Well, thank you.”

“You are most welcome,” he replies, smiling wider. “I have found previous lovers’ bodies to be delicate as well, requiring the utmost diligence to detail for their fragility. It would not bode well should the shell become damaged beyond repair. No use for that, of course.”

Well, at least you aren’t taking a bite this time since you would’ve surely choked on it again. Zhongli is just throwing out innocuous statements left and right without realizing how much of a punch they really pack. You quickly reach for your tea and take a larger sip, swallowing back the creeping tendrils of bitterness at the word ‘use.’

He still doesn't care, does he?

To be fair, you aren’t surprised he took previous lovers (you have too), that’s not what catches your heart off guard. No, it’s how he so casually referred to your body as an –

“Object. You think of bodies as objects?” Points to you, your tone is steady and casual; however, Zhongli’s eyes narrow as he catches the shift in atmosphere regardless.

“Is there something wrong? They must be maintained and nurtured, no? I understand you are not as frail as mortals, but you fall under my care regardless.”

The teacup you hold, true to its design from the Lord of Geo, withstands the force with which you grip it. “Zhongli,” you begin, slowly meeting his eyes, “I am not under your care. Our contract from when we first met has expanded into more favors; you help us in Liyue, we do something in return, et cetera. But I am not under your care.”

There’s a tense silence stretching between you two as you mention the first contract that stood between the Travelers and Zhongli. Although at some point, the agreement has become all but forgotten in the progression of your friendship, you still cling to it as a reminder for him that this is all this is. Just a deal.

You ignore the heavy weight in your chest as you look at the God of Contracts himself.

A slow frown settles on his lips. “Contracts cannot be used to define friendship, nor measure sentiment. So just what can we use to measure the weight of our emotions? Do you know the answer, friend?”

The last word is spoken a beat after the sentence, word soaked with confusion as he tests the weight of it on his tongue. He frowns deeper, and you try to desperately bury the hope that he dislikes that word as much as you do. Friend.

Do you dare hope?

You look down at the teacup again and grind your teeth. “You’re right, what we did have isn’t… A contract. Let’s not call it that. I’m… I’m sorry. I appreciate your attention; I’m just not used to it coming from someone whose body is almost literally indestructible. Thank you.” You are being completely honest with him; you truly appreciate the concern and attempt to convey it through tone. The words come out more forceful than you intended regardless.

Honestly, the fact that he tended to you with such diligence made your heart flutter, but you could not tell him the truth, not when his emotions are so clearly separated from his actions. Something to be cared for. He doesn’t even understand the meaning of his words, how could he?

Zhongli’s eyes watch you carefully as the gears in his mind turn rapidly. Was it what he said? He reaches out for you, wrapping an arm around your shoulders to nestle his head against yours as you bury your face into the crook of his neck. “No, not friend. Starlight. Trust in me, please, as I trust you.”

You huff a small laugh in return, barely managing to hide the fractured longing. “Okay.”

---

(Lover, his heart whispers in a language unknown to the waking.

Yes, yours whispers back, sheltered by the starry night.

They are silenced by the weight of day.)

---

Hours have passed. Zhongli is walking along Yujing Terrace, twirling a glaze lily in his hands. He cannot stop mulling over the words spoken during breakfast after you two parted ways with a lingering kiss. Your familiar and warm smile graced him when he suggested you two continue meeting when time and energy permits.

But still, your tight hug and resigned eyes plagued him when you left. Why? What did he do wrong?

He looks down at the flower in his hand; there is something buried in his memories, begging to be remembered.

Morax, you cannot hoard people.

Guizhong… What did she mean by that?

He recalls all those millennia ago how he wanted to understand what he was feeling. Warmth gathered in his chest whenever he spoke to her, heard her laugh, held her. So, when he kept a long watch over Guizhong’s favored mortals, he noticed how the mortals would court one another, offer each other tokens. Thereafter, in the millennia following, he would show his mortal lovers affection in the same way: through careful vigilance and gilded gifts.

Yet there was one who occupied his thoughts before this time ever came to pass.

Gods clashed more frequently in those days; his claws held onto her tighter and fury raged at any who threatened her. She would only smile and hold his head, pressing gentle butterfly kisses along his muzzle and stony scales, would run her hands through his long mane and sing soft lullabies when he rested his head in her lap.

No matter how load his roars, how deeply the earth shook at his battle cries, their power would cease in the presence of the one whose voice the flowers would wake for.

His hands grip the lily tighter, stem crackling in the force of it. The day he lost Guizhong, he realized how foolish he had been, how lax he grew in his watch. Never again would he allow his weak lovers to put themselves in danger.

But…

He closes his eyes, and… A soft hand caresses his cheek while the air around him turns foul with the stench of ancient blood, of battles long forgotten by time.

Morax, you cannot hoard people. A flower is precious, though not as strong nor cold as your gold. It is not lifeless. Promise me you will remember this.

I promise.

What did he fail to understand? Her message was so clear. He fulfilled his promise, did he not?

When he opens them again, he looks down at the glaze lily in hand once more. However, when he loosens his grasp on the frail thing, the wind suddenly picks up and carries it away from him. Zhongli sighs, though he supposes it is fitting, nonetheless. He never did understand how to handle anything gentler than with an iron grip.

As he follows the blossom's path, meandering in its fall towards the ocean, that is when he sees it.

A Fatui ship crests the horizon and flies the colors of the Harbingers.

---

(Useful (adj): Being of service, advantageous to some end. Morax did not stop howling with grief to Celestia that day, did not stop begging for answers as to why Guizhong had to be taken, why it had to be her.

Hail to the king, came a thousand dissonant, gossamered voices in his head. Long may you reign, Morax.

It is the last they ever spoke to him.)

---

Before the boat docks, Ajax is sitting on his bed and holding his hands as he stares blankly at the mahogany box adorned with the crest of the Tsaritsa lying in front of him.

Inside, there are two empty spaces.

---

You’re smug, oh you’re so smug as you walk along Chihu Rock because the walk of shame didn’t haunt your steps. Despite getting absolutely railed, you managed to keep a steady gait and avoided stumbling like a newborn fawn. No, no shame there, just absolute smugness because Liyue, your Archon begged me to make him cum.

Despite the breakfast ending on a bittersweet note, you can’t find it in yourself to dedicate too much energy to the negativity of it all, tempting as that may be.

Not right now, anyway; this is all something to mull over more seriously when you’re alone because this throws a wrench in your plans of finding Lumine. No, as much as you would love to wallow in self-pity, you must find her first.

So ultimately, you convince yourself, this wouldn’t – couldn’t – last because of the nature of your existence and of his. You settled instead on enjoying what happiness you could wring from this situation, because stars above know you need it.

When you looked at Zhongli as you pulled away, you felt weighed down by the fact that this might be all you get, but you can’t complain. He promised to look after you, didn’t he? No matter in what way he thinks that means, it’s more than what you thought you would receive barely two days prior.

You smile as a wave of contentment blankets your heart (and lovingly strangles the background anxiety for future you to deal with). In your many long years, you discovered happiness is not some condition to be had or trophy to be won. If you declared that happiness would come only in ifs and whens, then it would never come at all. There is always one more hidden condition, one more test.

So yes, you choose to be happy. Well, more specifically try to make that choice, but you’re working on muscling past your worries. Things worked out better than you expected considering all the other trouble you and Aether have been mired in since losing Lumine. Despite that, though, you’ve found new companions to adventure with. The memories made were unexpected, but… Warm. Good, even.

As you approach Wanmin Restaurant, you spot the familiar halo of gold and excited noises from Paimon. When your step picks up and you begin calling for them, they turn and smile bright as the sun as they wave for you.

No, actually, better than good. Good doesn’t even begin to describe it.

---

(Use (verb): To employ for some purpose. You want to scream. You want to scream at the heavens, you want to scream at the stars, you want to scream at the hands that haunt your dreams.

The stars taunt you endlessly with their silence. Find your purpose with the mortals, you were told in the beginning. Find it with the memories you keep.)

---

“You weren’t there when we woke up, and Aether almost always wakes up before you! Where did you go last night?” Paimon asks as she takes a bite out of a sauteed mushroom. Aether grunts in agreement, gold eyes meeting yours. When they make direct contact with yours, he begins snickering as realization dawns on him. Damn him, he’s known you too long for you to hide anything. “Hey! What’s so funny?” she pouts, placing her hands on her hips.

“Nothing you need to worry about, Paimon,” you supply, hoping to steer this conversation very far away from these rocky waters.

“Aw, but you didn’t answer her question. Where did you go, huh?” Aether says, leaning forward to perch his head on both of his fists. Well then, this is about to be a shipwreck, no thanks to your traitorous companion.

“I, uh, went for a walk because I couldn’t sleep,” you reply as you try (and fail) to casually pour yourself more chamomile instead. “Zhongli found me and invited me for some tea to try and help me.”

“Oh, so that’s what happened. Zhongli wasn’t being so stingy for once,” Paimon says with pride lacing her words. Does the gremlin even have the right to act like a parent watching their kid graduate ‘common sense’? “That’s nice of him! He took care of you and even let you sleep over!”

Aether’s laughter is drowned out as you bury your face in your hands, mortification seeping into your bones. “Come on, what are you, two hundred and fifty again? Be mature about this,” you grumble as you kick his shin.

“Sorry, sorry, I’m just glad that he took care of you,” he continues as he gasps between words. “I know I’m usually the direct one here, but you skipped a few steps even I would’ve taken. Good on you!”

Of course your companion doesn’t understand the gravity of what happened, doesn’t understand how bad it is to get tangled with an immortal as travelers. Sure, had it been a mortal, you two would’ve had no qualms with leaving, knowing they would move on and find someone else. You've done so before. Their lives are fleeting and do not linger in an everlasting existence. But now…

You sigh deeply as sheer force of will manages to curb your annoyance. He was always the carefree and wild one, oblivious to anything beyond the next task in his tunnel-visioned life. Even if he is the elder of the twins, he is a stark contrast to Lumine’s calculating and noble personality. She stood up for people because it was right and Aether made sure there was compensation involved.

Aether rolls his eyes as he watches you sink further into your head. You honestly think too much in his humble opinion; it’s better to take action and just let the thoughts flow that way. After all, that’s how he handles daily life in Teyvat with these endless(ly stupid) tasks and it’s working out just fine. “Hey, don’t be so serious about it. Just take it one day at a time.”

Paimon cocks her head as she takes more bites from her noodles, looking between you two with abject confusion. “Yeah well, it was a kind of ‘in the moment thing’ last night,” you respond, hoping to mollify your racing heart. “Don’t expect much more to happen.”

“Besides the regular sleepovers, of course?” he hums.

“Oh! Paimon wants to know what his apartment looks like, too!”

“NO!” you both cry, startling the people around you. You duck your head as you mouth a silent sorry before coughing awkwardly. “Uh, you wouldn’t like it. It, um, it smells like one of Lady Ying’er’s special perfumes.”

“Yuck,” she says as she scrunches her nose, “Paimon is okay with not seeing it then. It’s probably boring since Childe isn’t funding him anymore, too. Oh! Maybe Paimon can get Childe to pay for us in Snezhnaya.”

“Really, Paimon? Really?” Aether snorts. “Extorting Childe twice? That’s just cold.”

You’re grateful that the conversation soon resumes to the regular discussion and banter. When the time came to pay and wrap up it up, Aether slides a piece of paper with the list of quests on them towards you. Instead of grabbing the sheet, you take out your journal to quickly mark them down and push the list back towards him. “This one near Qingce Village looks like it’ll be a long one. I noticed there’s also three smaller ones nearby Wangshu Inn. Paimon and I can take on the northernmost job while you ask Xiao for help?”

Ha, got him. Aether blushes and looks away, rubbing the back of his neck. “That’s different,” he mumbles before taking the sheet back. “Besides, I’m only doing this because it’s your turn to have a day with just her.”

“Yeah, it’s been a while since we’ve travelled together, right?” Paimon says, floating up and around you to look at the map in your journal. You don’t notice her though as your eyes soften looking at Aether. The poor thing is wringing the paper a bit too tightly, betraying the anxiety underneath at talking to the stand-offish adeptus. Well, at least that’s one thing you two have in common.

“Ye-ap, let’s go Paimon. Remember this time, teleport outside the city please, I had to pay a kid to keep quiet about that.” Paimon laughs nervously as she taps her fingers together.

“Paimon kind of forgot that people don’t know you guys aren’t human, oops,” she says, but begins floating around carelessly regardless. At least nobody questions the fairy, that much is a blessing. Aether stretches and yawns before standing, nodding to you two.

“I’ll see you tonight back on Mt. Tianheng, right?”

“Same spot as usual,” you reply. “C’mon, we should buy some supplies before setting off.”

Paimon follows you as you walk towards the harbor, waving behind her to the blonde disappearing. “Finally. A slow and easy day to kick back to. Piece of cake,” you say as you match Paimon’s eager smile to buy some snacks.

The sweet sound of famous last words.

---

Xiao turns the bag of herbs in his hands over and over again. They're the same he offered all those weeks ago, yet this time, they are of finer quality. Rarer. It took him weeks to gather this.

A horribly strange bouquet, Verr Goldet had told him.

A... bouquet? He blinked. She blinked back.

He hears voices from below and his heart races as he looks behind. Strange. He isn't in battle. Aether's soft voice is echoed up the steps, exemplified by the circular design of the hotel. Xiao swallows and hides the bag.

Later, he thinks. Later.

---

“Paimon doesn’t get it,” she starts, floating steadily beside you after you walk away from one of the residents of Qingce Village. “How did she lose a bracelet that was around her wrist running from a Ruin Hunter?”

You shrug. “Beats me. You might want to stay towards the back on this one, though. Remember the last time we got close to that?” A visceral shudder rocks Paimon’s body as she groans.

“Yeah, too many arms to dodge! The stupid thing kept trying to squish Paimon!” As you both pass a group of children, you notice some young women gesturing and talking about the building behind her. Paimon, however, spots the free mushroom skewers being passed out and beelines over.

“Oh, hello there!” the closest woman greets, bowing politely as you two approach. “How can I help you?”

“Hi,” you smile, hoping to look as calming as Aether always seems to, but you wince as you hear the strained crack. Nope. “We were wondering what’s going on here?”

“This is a small school group! I am about to show them the wonderful mansion here that the owner kindly allowed us to walk through and look at the wonderful artifacts collected. Qingce Village is known for its particularly strange history, even for Liyue.”

You nod along, an idea slowly forming. When her attention is pulled towards a kid trying to hit his friend with a stick, you nudge Paimon in the leg. “Hey, you’re not going to like this but play along,” you mumble. As the school teacher looks back, you smile wide once again. “Any chance you take drop-ins?”

Her eyebrows furrow, bowing slightly in apology. “I am sorry, but this is for children only.”

“Behold,” you declare flatly, suddenly seizing Paimon and holding her in front of the woman as she sags like a wet cat in your hands. “A child.”

Her eyes slowly narrow as she seems to be flipping between confusion and irritation. Shit, shit, think of something – “Can I, ah, talk to you for a second away from the kids?” She nods and whispers something to her compatriots as you both walk away, leaving Paimon to float once again around the group. When you are sufficiently far away, you turn and put on the most pathetic look you can muster. Pride: officially gone. “Listen, it would really mean a lot to me if you can let her have this. See, my partner and I found her all alone along the river one day and she said she was waiting for her parents to come back, but…”

You sigh dramatically as the woman covers her open mouth, but you continue before she has a chance to realize the sob-story is complete crap. “We know she looks kind of funny, is loud, and even floats weirdly… We think that’s why her parents left, y’know? Too strange.”

She nods sagely along. “Yes, I can’t imagine the pain. Poor thing.”

Hook, line, and sinker.

“She always really liked these sorts of things, but most people are put off by her appearance. Just this once, can she see the inside of this beautiful house?”

“O-oh, but of course!” You smile widely, because fuck yes you managed to find a babysitter for Paimon, never mind the fact that you just lied through your teeth. “Anything I can do to help, I will. Towards the end, we plan on giving out little trinkets to the children. Will this make her happy?”

“Yes! Yes,” you say, a little too enthusiastic. “That would make her day, thank you!”

As you both walk back, the woman claps her hands and announces to the group that the tour will begin soon. You take this opportunity to pull Paimon by the cape back a little and lean forward to whisper, “Hey, I just managed to snag you a spot in the group. Play along and you get treasure in the end, they’re letting the kids have some.”

Her eyes go wide – definitely a magpie, you think – and performs what is probably the worst salute you’ve ever seen. “Don’t get caught!” she chirps merrily as she follows along the tour group who are now starting to enter the vast building.

You wave to her before turning away to look for the indicated point on your map. Total piece of cake.

---

“You… You want my help with these menial tasks?” Xiao scoffs, crossing his arms as he scans Aether’s stiff form. The blonde is nervously laughing while looking everywhere but at the adeptus, confusing him further. No matter how many centuries pass, he thinks he will never understand humans. “I am a Yaksha, this is not the purpose of my duty.”

Ha, oh shit, take a deep breath Aether, you probably insulted him. Why is this so hard? Aether sighs as he deflates. “Yeah, you’re right, this is a little stupid of me to ask for from you.”

“I never said no.” Aether whips his head up, but Xiao is the one looking away this time. “Besides, your companions are not here. You will need my protection regardless.”

“Y-yeah okay, cool cool cool,” Aether laughs, relief washing through him. He grips his pants tightly to still his trembling arms. “D’you… Um, do you want some almond tofu before we go?”

Xiao looks at him, and had Aether blinked, he is sure he would’ve missed the hint of a smile on the adeptus’ face. “Of course.”

---

You quickly duck behind a rock when missiles whistle past you, barely scraping your head. When you hear the warbled noises of an unusually large Ruin Hunter coming closer (did it just crack its knuckles?), you make a break for the open ground to get a better vantage point.

Paimon really owes you this time, on your life she owes you so fucking much -

---

“And here, children, we see the God of Duality!” Wondrous eyes look up at a towering gold statue of a figure with eight heads - each carved with a different expression - and four pairs of arms. “Supposedly, it hides the God’s most coveted secrets, but no mortal has ever been able to figure out the mystery within the statue. Now then!” The lead woman claps her hands together, drawing all attention back to her. “As we approach the end, it’s time for little treats.”

A round of cheers and whoops break out as the kids make a dash for the pile of goodies being offered. Paimon raises her hand, waving it around to catch someone’s attention. “Oh! Oh! Paimon wants to know if we can take anything there?”

The woman nods, cheerfully smiling. “Of course! Our generous host has allowed us these gifts.”

Paimon grins, waiting for the woman to walk away before floating off to the statue. Behind the towering heads, she spies a single scroll tucked in the center. Jackpot. “Well, she did say anything,” the fairy giggles to herself as she grabs it.

Maybe Zhongli can translate this? She kicks her legs in excitement at the thought of more treasure. Really, it was the lady’s fault for failed semantics. No harm, no foul, right Paimon?

---

“Xiao, c’mere! The water is nice!” Aether shouts. The adeptus is crossing his arms, unimpressed face watching Aether waddle around Luhua Pools. They’ve already completed their given tasks, so they decided to meander around the final location before continuing.

Or, rather, Aether insisted and completely ignored Xiao’s complaints.

While holding his pants, Aether slowly makes his way over, smiling brightly. “My boots don’t need guarding, you know.”

“I am not partaking in something so foolish, Aether.”

“Suit yourself. I can’t make you come into the pool…” He suddenly smiles, slowly leaning down. Xiao’s eyes follow his movements, eyebrow arching with creeping suspicion. “… But I can bring it to you!” Aether swipes his hand and summons a gust of wind to blow water onto Xiao. He begins sputtering and opens his arms, soaked through and petulant. If looks could kill, he sure as shit would’ve been dead by now. Wait. Can Yaksha looks really kill…?

Before he has a chance to think much more about it, a retaliatory gust of wind knocks him off his feet and into the pool, water rushing into his nose. Xiao smirks, willing his spear away again as he watches for Aether. The other must be mad now, too. But…

But of course not. Aether only stands up, coughing up water and fish flopping in hand. Does nothing irk him? How stupid. The other is completely oblivious to Xiao’s bewilderment, saying, “Look! I caught our lunch!”

How can someone so old still be so young at heart? Xiao chuckles slightly, utterly disbelieving in the concept that someone can still be so good inside. Aether’s face heats at the sound and he turns, grabbing his scarf to hide the flush.

Very soon after, though, he yelps when he feels a sharp tug of the scarf down to reveal golden eyes staring back at him and suddenly very close. And… Is he…? “You came into the water!”

“Yes…” Xiao pauses. Why did he come here? He only registers the lingering irritation at Aether’s attempts to hide his face. “I did.”

The blonde starts smiling, pink never leaving his cheeks. Xiao joins him.

Ridiculous.

---

“Well, Paimon thinks it was worth it!”

You snort. “Great. At least one of us does.”

The two of you are walk-floating along, idly passing through the afternoon as you make your way back to Liyue Harbor. With reward in hand, you’ve retrieved Paimon with a thousand thank yous slipping past your lips in gratitude as you pointedly ignored their confused looks over the dirt staining everything. Even Paimon made a comment on your disheveled appearance, twigs in your hair and light scrapes on your skin.

“Hey, speaking of, what was in those little goodie bags? I saw some kids walk away with one.”

“Oh yeah! The lady said we could take anything, but Paimon didn’t grab a bag. The scroll behind the statue’s heads, on the other hand…” She giggles and pulls out the scroll from somewhere and floats to a nearby rock.

She completely misses the appalled expression you shoot her as you follow. “You… You stole from them? When they said anything, I really do think they meant the bags, Paimon.”

“They said that nobody could figure out the secret, anyway. We’re actually doing them a favor,” she protests while rolling out the scroll.

“You committed petty theft!”

“And you lied to her, so Paimon says we’re even.” The gremlin even has the gall to stick her tongue out as you struggle to keep yourself from face-palming. Instead, you do a double-take at the scrawled marks along the paper.

Inside is a map that is very clearly Liyue, but it’s also very clearly not. The geography has changed, though you can likely point out certain monuments if you took the time to compare it to your modern map. No, the drawings inside say there were more mountains, larger rivers, and… You pause. This map is very old because according to this, there is no Dihua Marsh; instead, there are rolling and fertile plains marking its location.

It’s no wonder that no mortal was able to figure this out, you would need an immortal’s help. You should definitely ask Zhongli, there are very few left in the world who can make heads or tails of this. When you rub your hands along your head, you sigh and throw your head back. “Give me… Give me a few hours to copy this down, then I’m going back to try and return it. Hopefully, I won’t get caught.”

“Paimon is guessing that you’re going to go alone?”

“Yes, I am. You, on the other hand,” you say as you summon a bag of Mora. Her eyes immediately widen as she swoops down to yank the bag from your grip. “You are going to take this Mora and go to Liyue Harbor. Try not to get into too much trouble.”

She smiles as she hugs the bag closer. “Paimon likes this, we should do these ‘us’ days more often.”

“No, we should not.”

“Aw, you’re no fun!”

---

It’s… It’s cute, Aether thinks. Xiao is trying so hard to eat the grilled fish, but he is clearly struggling to stomach the dish. Didn’t he say once that the only food he can handle is almond tofu? “You know, you don’t have to eat it if you don’t want to.”

Xiao grunts stubbornly and doubles his efforts, chewing very methodically on the flesh. “It’s passable. Much better than those other sacrilegious dishes.”

“Thanks, I think,” Aether laughs, but doesn’t take the negative sentiment to heart. If anything, he knows this is probably the nicest thing Xiao has said about anyone’s cooking. Ever. “You still don’t have to eat it. It’s okay.”

“I want to,” Xiao huffs.

“Why?”

“Because you made it.” Xiao blinks and pins Aether with an incredulous stare, as if that fact were the most obvious thing in the world. He sighs as he shakes his head and resumes picking at his meal. “Fool.”

Well, maybe he is a fool. Aether’s lopsided grin grows as he scoots closer to Xiao, bumping shoulders with the adeptus and relishing in the fact that the other doesn’t pull away. “Come to Liyue with me. Please. I won’t let anything happen to you.”

Xiao looks at him again. Stubborn troublemaker. He’s stunned, though, because Aether’s adoring eyes are so radiant and they look at him softly. Kindly. Sweet, like honey. “I do not need your protection,” he growls, growing frustrated at his own saccharine thoughts.

“I know. Let me give it anyway. Just don’t go.”

He only huffs in response and Aether hums. Hums turn into soft tunes, soft tunes turn into gentle singing, and his voice is carried along the wind to the forest around them. Slowly, Xiao leans closer to Aether, and the latter leans back into him without skipping a beat in his music.

Damn humans.

---

(Used (adj): To be previously owned, to have worn out its purpose. Ajax knocks his Vision, his Delusion, and the Tsaritsa's box off of his nightstand. The clattering on the ground is deafening.

He falls to his knees, holding the chopsticks close to his chest. When he looks to the ring on his fingers, he sees his own reflection: soft, young, pitiful. Is this how you felt?)

---

Not once throughout their stroll from the harbor to the Northland Bank for Childe to drop off necessary items did Zhongli stray from the Harbinger’s side. He pays no mind to the way Ekaterina shifts her gaze occasionally to him as he inspects the bank’s interior, waiting for Childe to settle his things.

They’re walking the edges of Yujing Terrace, chatting idly as the sun sets. As nice as the conversation is, though, Childe notices something very off. “Hey, you didn’t ask why I came back this time around.”

Zhongli hums and smiles at him brilliantly, and he feels the wind leave him at the force of it. Gods. This is just embarrassing at this point, why does Childe feel like a teenager around the older man? “I did not ask because it did not matter. You are here, are you not?” Zhongli steps forward and suddenly wraps his arms around Childe’s hips, burying his face against the other’s neck. “If you desire it, you will tell me. I trust you.”

Childe swallows because fuck, that something in his chest is back with a fury. His heart is hammering and banging against his ribs, begging to be released. Zhongli trusts him? “That’s a stupid choice,” he mutters as he wraps his own arms around Zhongli’s back.

“Perhaps. It is mine to make.”

He holds Zhongli tighter. Idiot, fucking idiot, strolling back into this god's arms, unable to resist the warmth offered.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice -

“I’m here for the Travelers,” he suddenly blurts, but Childe finds no hatred in himself for his guard being shattered. That’s because… Oh. Of course. He throws his head back, infamous laugh bubbling up. “But you already knew that, didn’t you?”

“I had my suspicions,” Zhongli admits as he pulls away, reaching his hand up to thumb Childe’s chin. Only, this time, Childe finds no scrutiny coming from the other, but simply… Something. “There is no other reason for a Harbinger’s presence. The Tsaritsa wants to keep one eye on me, and now, the other is laid upon the Travelers. I am sure she is afraid of how close I am getting to them while I guide them through this nation and onto Inazuma.”

Ah. He doesn’t know. Not really. Childe swallows back the acidic bile, his heart now a lump in his throat. Though, he naturally must give credit to Zhongli, he is exceptionally close to the truth. Not quite, but close enough.

This is good. This is better. Zhongli can’t know. He’ll never forgive him if he did. It'll be cold again, it'll be dark, it'll be lonely.

He ignores how, when the day comes, he'll lose you both.

“Yes.” A half-truth. Childe was sent here to feed the Tsaritsa as much information on the Travelers as he can, and anybody with some semblance of wit would have figured that out. It is enough, though, because Zhongli smiles and leans forward, pressing the softest kiss to his lips that he has ever been gifted.

Ajax wants to weep.

---

(Knight and champion, croons Morax’s heart, reaching forth across the realm of mortals. He who won my heart, won my favor, won my protection.

King of kings, Ajax’s whispers back to that divine voice from the mountains. He who I will kneel before forevermore.)

---

To say that Aether was confused is an understatement.

Because confused doesn’t even begin to fucking cover it.

Both he and Xiao watch silently, arms crossed in a mirror of one another – cute, Paimon thinks – as the fairy devours her tenth helping of sweet madame. The three of them are sitting atop Mt. Tianheng after Aether stumbled across a very companionless Paimon carrying a bag of Mora. She gave half an explanation, saying it was for food and promising that she’ll give a proper story when she was fed.

(“I can’t think on an empty stomach!” she pouts.

“I didn’t know you could think,” comes the droll reply from Xiao.)

He knows she has five stomachs, he knows it, but where did it all go? Apparently, Xiao is just as confused, because throughout the meal, the adeptus has leaned closer to Paimon with open fascination.

“So, what you’re saying is you were bribed into coming here while you left her to fend for herself?” Aether is just… He’s stupefied, really. Xiao hasn’t spoken once in the entire interaction. “Start talking, Paimon. You just ate through three days’ worth of commissions.”

She nods and, with all the delicate grace of a queen, picks up a napkin to wipe her mouth. But, before she can even begin, Xiao suddenly stands and summons his spear while he crouches into a battle stance. Aether scrambles as well while he grapples wildly his own sword.

Wait, who is that coming up the steps…?

“The nerve of you humans will never cease to amaze me. What makes you think you are welcome here?” Xiao spits venomously.

“Well, hello to you too comrade!”

---

You slowly creep along the rooftop of the mansion, scroll in hand. Unfortunately, you had to wait for a shift in the guards before you could make your move since they were stationed on each floor’s balcony, meaning you were stuck out there far long than you initially planned for.

As you slowly open one of the sky windows, you wince as you hear a slow creaking. Okay, okay, you’re close, you’re almost there. When you drop from the roof, you cushion the landing with a soft roll before shuffling forward, crouching against the wooden beams. Now then, where did Paimon say the statue was again?

It takes some time, but you eventually find the golden statue and wow, okay. You really can’t blame Paimon, you’re pretty sure you would’ve committed crime for just one of those glittering eyes. The statue is adorned with some of the most intricate designs you’ve ever seen, and the many jewels bedazzled along its heads are foreign to you. Focus.

You leap onto one of the arms and begin climbing, only to double your efforts when you hear footsteps down the hall. Right as you scramble into the circular space between all the heads, not unlike the inside of a pagoda, you hear the guards take their place at each exit. Unfortunately, you can't put the scroll back without making too much noise lifting the seal inside. The change forces you to stay hidden until the next shift, lest you get caught and betray the trust the people of Qingce Village placed in you three to not be petty criminals.

Well. This is just spectacular. Piece of cake.

---

“Let us all settle down now,” Zhongli rumbles, placing a gloved hand on Childe’s summoned hydro blades. Across from them, Aether’s own body is protectively standing in front of Xiao, willing himself to be a shield against the possible brawl. Childe notes that his mask has not been summoned, which is a good sign. “Xiao, you have seen Childe accompany me several times since Osial. Why do you insist on such aggression upon each meeting? You know how I feel about it.”

“What? Several times?” Paimon squeaks, looking between the two groups standing off. Childe waves innocently, crinkling his nose in a shit-eating grin. “Just what have you guys been doing?”

“I like trying to get Zhongli’s pesky guard dog to fight me,” Childe shrugs. He lowers his hands and wills his blades away. When everyone gives him a stunned look, he only says, “What? Just because I’m a warrior, you all think I can’t play nice for my first visit back with Zhongli and friends? Ouch, tough crowd.”

“That’s because you’re a Harbinger,” Paimon grumbles, crossing her own arms. “You can’t be trusted.”

“And you,” he hisses, pointing an accusatory finger at her. “Blackmailed me for Mora.”

"Wait, wait, wait," Aether suddenly cries, silencing everyone with his raised voice. He rarely, if ever, spoke with anything other than jovial remarks or soft contemplations. "Why the fuck are you here, Childe? What happened to Snezhnaya? What are you even doing here?"

Did... Did Aether imagine that shadow flash across Childe's eyes? Just as quickly, Childe smiles and crosses his arms. "Why? Are ya mad I ruined your little date?"

Aether crosses his own arms and begs all that is holy that the night is dark enough to hide his flush as he smirks, trying to focus on the fact that Childe is here, in front of him, right now. "No, just trying to figure out if it's going to be a knife or your excitement stabbing us in the back this time around."

"Fuck around and find out bud."

"Enough," Zhongli announces, sighing deeply. "I apologize for disrupting your gathering. We were not aware of your presence here, so we will take our leave."

To everyone’s surprise (again), Xiao retracts his spear, but remains on guard, nonetheless. No, what’s shocking everyone is the fact that he’s staying. Why is he staying? Aether slowly breaks into a wide smile as he realizes that, with each passing second, Xiao is less and less likely to scurry off to Wangshu Inn again. “You are permitted to stay, but only because of Zhongli. He's right, we are acting dishonorably in front of our companions. However, should I see you again and we are alone, I will not hesitate to strike you down, you dog.”

The Harbinger barely restrains his snarl at the word. Instead, he smiles at the other, challenging eyes mirroring Xiao’s. “Looking forward to it.”

Aether thinks he sees mutual satisfaction in both of their faces. Was this some sort of... bizarre... murderous camaraderie-building exercise?

“Besides, I promised to accompany Aether. I will not betray his trust.”

Xiao did not, in fact, make an explicit promise, but Aether does not comment. No, he’s directing all his energy on slowing his heart rate at the confession. Huh. Is it bad of him that he’s more focused on Xiao’s little speech rather than the very real threat he just made to Childe?

Childe snorts and walks forward with Zhongli following. “Thanks for your permission, asshole. Could’ve left the last part out.” The two take a seat on the other side of the grand banquet set out for Paimon. Slowly, Xiao follows Aether’s lead and takes a seat as well. Childe frowns as he looks around. “Hey, is pretty bird down at the harbor getting more food or something? Where is she?”

“Paimon will explain everything when the food is all gone!” She smiles around another dumpling sinking into her mouth. How the fuck did she manage that? The thing was as big as her head! Childe leans forward, suddenly as invested in whatever was going on in front of him as Xiao was. "Besides," she mumbles, "You still have to explain why you're even here."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever, I'll get to that when she comes back. The real question is, how are you managing to eat that...?" Childe replies, narrowing his eyes.

Aether leans closer to Xiao to whisper, “Hey, protected you, didn’t I?”

“You are a fool.”

“Yeah, I know,” comes the cheeky reply.

Some time passes as the five of them interact quietly amongst themselves. Zhongli and Childe take their turn watching Paimon’s appetite with a combination of curiosity and disgust, respectively, while Aether and Xiao took to talking about everything and nothing as a distraction from Xiao’s bubbling irritation.

“I am most grateful that you have not left us,” Zhongli says eventually, eyeing the other adeptus present. Xiao scoffs and looks away. “I am serious. This means a great deal to me.”

Xiao has heard those words extraordinarily little across the many millennia serving Rex Lapis. The god never wants, never acts in his own interests because he always had others to care for. So, to hear those words… The faintest blush colors his cheeks. “You know I do not care for the company you keep, so make no mistake, I still distrust him. Do not expect me to linger. When the criminal is done explaining, I shall go.”

“Criminal?” Childe bursts out suddenly before laughing and clutching his sides. Not for the first time, Aether wonders how many loose marbles are in the Harbinger’s head. “What’d she do now?”

“Yeah, Paimon,” Aether says, almost too sweetly. “What did you do?”

“Well, Paimon didn’t do anything.” She tilts her head as she puts her finger on her chin, deep in thought. Hm… “Besides, she’s okay. Everything should be fine, right? Yeah, everything’s fine. She can handle herself! So, here’s what happened…”

---

Everything was not, in fact, fine. Curses from Teyvat and beyond are all you chant as you feel guard dogs nipping at your heels, furiously chasing you down after you accidentally ran past their miniature houses in the fields surrounding the house.

---

Wow. Paimon doesn’t think she’s ever had that many accusations laid at her feet like that before.

Childe is laughing harder, genuine tears streaming down his face this time. “Oh Archons, I cannot believe you! And I thought the cocogoat story was good...” Zhongli is pinching the bridge of his nose while Aether’s hands are pressed together in a prayer position as he takes in deep breaths.

“So, wait wait, let me get this straight,” Childe coughs, voice cracking with amusement. He lifts one hand up and begins lowering fingers with the other as he counts off the list of crimes Paimon has apparently committed. “You've done identity fraud, petty theft, blackmail, extortion, accepted a bribe… Am I missing anything here?”

“Hey! You make it sound like Paimon is a bad person!” She tries pouting, but only sputters as Childe flashes a knowing grin. Well then, that can’t be good.

“Coming from a verifiable ‘bad guy,’ let me give you some advice – “

“Nobody asked, Fatui scum.” Xiao narrows his eyes as Childe stares back, clearly trying to settle his own temper.

“I’m just offering free help to dear Paimon.”

“You know what they say about anything that’s free: it’s worthless.”

“Listen here, you jackass – “

Zhongli suddenly growls, silencing everyone around him. Aether jumps at the sound (and at how Xiao’s hand shoots out to settle on Aether’s leg in an attempt to calm him) while Paimon squeaks and hides behind the duo. “I will not have such disgraceful and raucous behavior. I have permitted enough of it earlier. Now, behave.” Childe nods, though as Zhongli closes his eyes, he very quickly makes a rude gesture to the other. Aether snorts, but before Xiao can respond, Zhongli has them open again. Ha.

However, it isn’t long after the outburst do all parties present hear it: a soft shuffling sound up stone stairs following by quiet grunts. When you emerge from behind some bushes, everyone sees how you’ve taken the liberty of buying not one, not two, but three bottles of the strongest alcohol Liyue has to offer and cradled it close to your chest.

Vague confusion clouds your exhausted mind as you spy the scene. Huh. Why isn’t Xiao attacking Childe -

Wait. No. That can’t be right. This isn’t…

All fatigue is struck down, leaving you wide awake as you whisper, “Childe?”

He smiles softly. “Hey there, pretty bird. Missed me?”

---

(Dear star, Ajax’s heart murmurs in the rare dream granted to him from beyond the abyss, why do you stay hidden in the heavens so? I wish to have you.

Dear ocean, comes the soft reply, why do you ask for that which you already hold each night? Silence your weeping, for I have never left.

But it is only a reflection I embrace.

Then, will you follow the constellations I draw for you? Come home and you shall not be alone.

… Can you promise this?

Yes.)

notes:

alt chapter title: the return of the KING

1) In some Russian myths (as far as I could find), owls have two meanings: the first is that when a soldier falls on the battlefield, they will use their claws to fight their way into Heaven. The other traditional symbolism is that owls actually represent absent-mindedness/folly because even though they can see and thrive in the dark, they are blinded and cannot see anything that is as plain as day to everyone else. Poor Teucer.

2) I know Snezhnaya is Russia, but in the spirit of general Viking symbolism and northern folktales, I wanted to reference the two ravens as being similar to Odin's spy ravens. These birds basically watch over the realm and report all their findings back to their master.

3) Zhongli's line about contracts is a direct word-for-word pull from one of his voicelines. Also, for more of Aether's personality, I found that the MC voicelines typically make them out to be somewhat of a "shoot first ask questions later" type person since they always seem to react more philosophically after taking major action. That, combined with the fact that most of our dialogue options are choosing between making fun of Paimon or asking what's in it for them, and you get Aether!

4) I imagine that though the two of them clash kind of more violently after Osial, Childe and Xiao begrudgingly tolerate each other because of their mutual respect/love for Zhongli. Immediately after the incident, Xiao probably attacked/followed Childe to protect Zhongli, much to the latter's embarrassment. I don't know about the other East Asian languages too much, but in Korean, calling someone a dog is among the worst insults you can throw at them.

5) We're entering the next arc with the scroll I cannot wait

<3 love love love you all

(Paimon is a canonically a criminal change my mind)

#zhongli #zhongli x reader #zhongli fanfic #childe #childe x reader #childe fanfic #genshin fanfic #genshin impact #aether #xiao #aether x xiao #genshin childe #genshin zhongli #genshin aether #genshin xiao

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downwiththeficness · 4 years ago

Text

In the Bond-Chapter 6

Summary: Lilah often wished she’d never said yes to working with the Gecko brothers—usually while dodging gunfire. At no time was she regretting that decision more than when she’s hanging upside down from the ceiling, staring down a group of hungry culebras and one (1) extremely powerful sun god.

Word Count: ~6,400

Warnings: Spitting (Kind of)

A/N: This is an AU of my Story In the Blood, which can be read here. Basically, this fic explores what would have happened if Lilah had met up with Geckos before she met Brasa.

Taglist: @symbiont13

Start from the beginning Previous Chapter Next Chapter

Read on AO3 Masterlist

Lilah stared at the picture in front of her, memorizing the details of the staff. It was made of wood, intricately carved, and kept in a glass case. The stand it sat upon was very likely pressurized, any change in weight would set off the alarm. There were no heat sensors in the display room, but there were motion sensors and a steady rotation of guards. Not super tricky, but not child’s play.

“Do you have blueprints of the building?” she asked, eyes looking to Brasa.

She’d been careful in how she looked at him for the entire meeting, not wanting to give away how she could still feel his lips ghosting across her skin. Though she hadn’t shared any more dreams with him, Lilah couldn’t keep her mind from going over how nice it felt to have his weight on her, how his hands (which she later realized were gloveless) felt as they coasted over her body.

“I do,” he replied, gesturing to Javier.

They were sitting in the vast room that served as Brasa’s office. Seth was standing next to the desk, going over the staffing schedule. Like most businesses, they had set shifts. Also like most businesses, their turnover rate was fairly high—the pay was definitely not enough to hold on to the more experienced or more talented staff. This, of course, was all good for them.

Richie was sprawled in the chair next to her, “We got any of those explosives left?”

Lilah glanced at him, “Why? You want to blow a hold in the floor, drop the staff and its stand through to the bottom, and haul ass out through the sewer system?”

He smiled, lifting a shoulder, as if she’d perfectly described his thoughts. She took the blueprints from Javier and checked them over to see if they could make that work.

“As fun as that would be,” Lilah said, “and it would be pretty fun, the building doesn’t have an underground tunnel, sewer or otherwise. The foundation is too thick for that.”

“Well, damn,” Richie drawled, “Guess we’ll have to go with the old smash and grab.”

That wasn’t a bad idea, but Lilah hated to bring that kind of attention to them. It would not only set off the alarm, but the police station was less than three blocks away. Not a lot of time for their getaway. Better to do this nice and clean.

“Again, totally a fun idea, but not a smart one.”

Seth stood up, rubbing at the back of his neck, “Looks like we got about a half hour rotation for security. Plenty of time.”

It was plenty of time. There was no safe to crack, just a series of security measures to override. In some ways, that was more tricky. Lilah stared at the blueprints, her brain running over options.

“We’ll need a key card,” Richie prompted, sitting up and resting his forearms on his knees, “If we can get that, and the six digit passcode, we should be able to disable the system with no problem.”

She cut a look at him, “You have any ideas about how we can go about getting the card and code?”

He laughed, “Yeah.”

“Care to share with the class?”

“Knock out a guard, take the key card,” he explained, as if it were the easiest thing in the world, “There’s only one on-site during the evening hours.”

Not the worst plan. To be fair, that was usually how their plans started out. Still, it left something to be desired.

“And the code?” She prompted lightly, setting the blueprints down on the desk in front of her.

“Oh, we’d threaten him first. Get the code that way.”

She blinked, “And if he’s lying.”

He paused, “Alright, we try the code first, then knock them out.”

Too messy.

Lilah gathered the photos she’d discarded in her lap and set them on the desk by the blueprints, “Maybe we get the code a couple days before, then wait until the gap in the rotation, break in, take the staff, and walk out.”

Richie smiled wide, “And, how do we get the code beforehand?”

That was the crux of the matter, wasn’t it? They were lucky the codes didn’t roll over randomly—just one code assigned to each guard and used whenever they were on shift. Low maintenance, but high risk for this kind of location.

Seth crossed his arms, “Richie, you still got a couple of those tiny cameras laying around?”

Richie had bought about a hundred of these little cameras for ‘security purposes’, putting them around the bar. The move had paid off when they caught one of the bartenders taking some extra cash from the till at the end of shift. He’d never let Seth forget about it.

“Yeah, I got a few.”

“Alright,” Seth said as he braced his hands on the desk, “Lilah, you’ll going in and plant one of them in the line of sight of the keypad. We’ll monitor until we get the passcodes.”

Lilah observed him with a wry smile, “Look at you, making your way into the future.”

He rolled his eyes, but smiled, “Don’t get used to it.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” she replied dryly, her smile holding. It would take an act of God to get Seth to relinquish his way of doing things. Despite having an actual sun god in the room, Lilah was doubtful that she could get him to budge.

She rolled up the blueprints and handed them back to Javier with a nod of gratitude. He smiled wide at her, the expression self-satisfied. From across the desk, Brasa stood a little too quickly, a little growl cut off at the back of this throat.

“It seems you have this all in hand,” he said, a little too formally. “Lilah, I have the response to your edits in my personal library. If you’ll follow me.”

He turned and walked off towards a wall on the far side, hands tapping out a series of numbers on a pad situated on the wall. The smooth surface clicked open, and he pulled on it to reveal a hidden doorway. Impatiently, he looked back at her, a little nod indicating that she should hurry up.

With a click of her tongue, Lilah made her way towards him, moving through the doorway and into an incredibly dark hall. When Brasa pulled the door shut behind them, there was nothing to guide her way. Lilah felt her lungs draw in a shaky breath as she struggled to see. He stepped up and around her, taking her hand.

Lilah didn’t like the way she gripped the leather, didn’t like that she couldn’t see what was ahead. Still, she followed him until he slowed, the sound of keys being entered into a pad signaling that they’d come upon their destination.

When the door opened, he pulled her into a room that was lit with warm amber light. She blinked, her eyes adjusting. She knew this room. She knew the color of the walls, the texture of the ceiling, the feeling of the bed that dominated the space.

Already knowing the answer to the question, she asked, “Whose room is this?”

“Mine,” he replied, already moving to the far side and through an open door.

Lilah followed, feeling out of place. Awkwardly, she stood in the doorway and looked around the smaller, cozier room. Cast in dark wood and soft, sumptuous fabrics, the room was lined entirely with bookcases—floor to ceiling—that were absolutely stuffed with books.

Curious, she moved along the shelves nearest to her, hand skimming the tomes. There were languages she recognized and many that she didn’t. Her hands itched to pull them from the stacks and thumb through them. She wondered how long he had been collecting books, and how many of them filled this relatively small space.

At the center of the room was an overstuffed couch that sat opposite a desk with a computer and files scattered over it. Brasa was gathering paper and slipping it into one such folder, shoulders tense.

Lilah regarded him carefully, “What’s wrong?”

He didn’t spare her a look, tossing the file down and reaching for another, “I’m fine.”

“Yuh huh,” she said, “Seriously, what’s up with you? Five minutes ago, you were fine. Now, you’re...abusing office supplies.”

His expression, when he looked up at her, was incredulous, “What?”

“You’re throwing around files like they did something to you,” she couldn’t keep the laugh out of her voice.

His face hardened, and she could see the irises of her his eyes flicker. Lilah crossed her arms, waited. She’d found that if she waited a moment, he’d usually answer her, no matter the question. This seemed a good time to test that theory.

When her, admittedly small, patience ran out, she asked, “You going to tell me, or are you going to pout about it?”

“I’m not pouting,” he shot back, standing to his full height and circling the desk slowly.

She watched him warily, noting how tightly he was wound. He looked ready to lash out, and she was definitely in the line of fire. Irritated by his behavior, she shifted a little on her feet, unable to let it go.

“Well,” Lilah bit out, “You sure as shit aren’t talking about it.”

Slipping his hands into his pockets, Brasa gave a humorless laugh, “You are impossible.”

She sneered, “That’s the second time you’ve told me that. It wasn’t true before, its not true now.”

His glance skittered away, “I realize that this is new for you, but you are walking a thin line.”

Lilah repeated the last three words, her eyes narrowed in confusion, “What the fuck does that mean?”

When his eyes found hers again, there was anger there, and not a little betrayal, “Flirting with other males in front of me is not going to get the response you want.”

She was...still confused. After a few more seconds, she was pissed off. Lilah took a step towards him, her jaw clenched.

“Who the fuck was—you know what? No, that’s not the point. The point is that you think I’m the kind of person who would do something like that to get a rise out of you.” She took a step back, “No, I’m not the asshole, here. You are.” And then, “You can email me the edits, okay?”

Without waiting for an answer, Lilah walked as calmly (and quickly) as she could through his bedroom and out into the hall. In the dark, she cursed lowly and felt her way along until she reached the door, grateful that it was locked from this side and she didn’t have to wait for Brasa to key in the code.

Before she moved back into the office proper, Lilah took a deep breath and schooled her features. Her emotions were oscillating wildly from shock, to incredulity, to anger that burned hot in her belly. She hadn’t done a single thing wrong, and to be accused of...she didn’t even know what, made her want to blow something up. Damn shame that she’d already used all the explosives. Lilah took another calming breath.

With a well placed lie, she managed to get through the next few minutes of packing up. She was careful to keep conversation going on the way home, even stayed at the bar for a drink. Lilah gave nothing away as she quietly seethed. It wouldn’t do any good to vent this kind of frustration—not that she could really tell anyone. Her personal relationship with Brasa was still secret, and she wasn’t going to upset the delicate balance that she’d set up with a childish outburst—unlike some people.

Lilah spent the evening vowing to hold this grudge as long as she could stand it, her fury remaining at a low simmer in her belly. When her phone vibrated in her pocket, she opened a text message from an unknown sender asking her to talk. She deleted it, focusing on the job she’d been contracted to perform.

Three days later, she was sitting in a van parked a block or so away from the museum, checking the comms.

“Everyone hear me?”

Seth’s voice sounded, “We can hear you. Now, shut up for a minute while I get this lock open.”

They had to do things the old fashioned away for the outer locks on the back door, no key code security measures. Lilah had rolled her eyes at the excited look on Seth’s face as he threw down his lock picks onto the table where they’d rolled out the blueprints Javier had loaned them.

From over the line, she heard Seth make an approving grunt, the sound of the door opening a moment after.

“We’re through the first set of doors.”

Lilah nodded, eyes on the computer in her lap, “Guard is starting his rotation. He’s just left the office.”

“Ten minutes for a full round,” Richie murmured, “I’ve clocked it.”

Again, she nodded, “I started the timer. Get in the office, cut the security feed.”

The museum had upgraded to digital a while back, but their servers only uploaded once an hour. She checked the clock. They had three minutes until upload. She watched Seth and Richie approach the office and bypass it for the server room. Two minutes. They were moving leisurely, almost sauntering through the hall. Wasting time.

“Pick up the pace,” she said.

“We’re on it, princess,” Seth retorted.

“Then get going” Lilah shot back in sing-song. “You’re down to a minute, fifteen seconds.”

On the screen, they found the server, and slipped the USB she’d made for them into the drive. Thirty seconds left. Lilah switched screens, watching the little yellow bar make its way from left to right. Fifteen seconds. The bar went green and she smiled.

“Server’s crashing,” she confirmed lowly. “Get out of there.”

With a salute to a camera that wasn’t recording, Seth grabbed Richie from where he was looking at the electronics, hauling him towards the next checkpoint. They would have to wait until the guard crossed back to the office, turn off the motion sensors, and get the staff out of the case.

That was the tricky part. The case was bolted down to its stand, and they couldn’t risk the sound of a drill alerting the guard. They’d have to manually unscrew the case, hold down the weight sensor, lift the staff, replace it with the dummy weight, close the case, and get back to the checkpoint before the guard made their next round. Thirty minutes was a long time, but there was a lot to do.

“Guard’s coming,” Lilah warned.

They ducked behind a corner as the guard passed, Richie watching him discreetly. When it was safe, they circled around to the next room where the staff was on exhibit. Motion sensors disabled. On to the case.

Lilah appreciated how efficient they were, when they were focused. Moving as a single unit, they worked their way around the case, wrenches in hand, making quick work of it. Once they had it off, Seth reached into the bag they’d brought with them and held up the staff they’d created as a temporary replacement.

Richie had spent a few hours putting it together, and from a distance it looked pretty good. It would, at least, buy them enough time to get away and make the two hour flight back to Mexico. With any luck, it would be a few days before they figured it out. Lilah didn’t count on it. She’d booked a flight within an hour of when they were going to finish the job. No bags to check. Straight through security and onto the plane.

Lilah watched as Richie slipped a knife over the pressure sensor, his other hand nimbly plucking the staff from the stand. Seth carefully set the replica into place, both men holding very still as Richie pulled the knife free. After a second or two where both looked to be holding their breath, Richie stuffed the staff into the bag as Seth replaced the case. Screws ratcheted back into place, motion sensors reactivated.

“Don’t forget the camera,” Lilah prompted, laughing when Seth scoffed and spun on his heel, snagging the device and pocketing it on the way down the hall.

“Guard’s on his round,” she whispered, “Get to the hallway. Now.”

Moving quickly, Seth rounded the corner, barely clearing it before the guard stepped into the room. They hustled back the way they came and out into the alley, locking the door behind them. Lilah closed down the computer and threw it in the backseat of the van, turning over the ignition. A few minutes later, the sliding door was opened and both men jumped inside. The van was already moving before they got the door closed again.

“Without a hitch,” Richie drawled as he relaxed in his seat.

Seth smiled at his brother, “That was good work.”

“We’re not done yet,” Lilah called back, “Still have to get it across the border.”

“Ah,” Seth sighed, “That’s the beauty of it. The postal system is going to do all the hard work for us.”

Reaching back, he pulled the prepped box from the third row of seats. He snapped at Richie, who handed him the bag. Into the box went the staff, with a little bubble wrap for protection. A little packing tape, and it was all sealed up and ready to go.

Lilah pulled off to the side and into the parking lot of the mail center, watching as Seth hopped out of the van and dropped the package into the chute. It would be at the bar within a few days. Easy peasy.

She slept on the plane, an alarm set for sunrise. Since she’d last seen him, Lilah had refused to sleep during the day, and only for a few hours at a time. It made her irritable and a little foggy, but she didn’t want to see him. Whenever she thought about their last interaction, Lilah got angry all over again. She’d take a little hit to her functioning to have their next meeting be completely on her terms.

Lilah had gone over the conversation a hundred times, wondering how he’d gotten the impression that she’d been trying to goad him by flirting with—she actually couldn’t figure out which male he’d been concerned about. Best she could figure, he was working off an old framework, the power imbalance between himself and his queen. That wasn’t going to fly, not with her. She had too much going on to deal with a partner (was he even her partner?) who’d go off half-cocked at the slightest feeling of jealousy. No. Lilah had other shit to deal with.

It was with regret that she knew she would have to go and speak with him. Lilah couldn’t avoid him forever—she snorted at the thought—things would have to be cleared up eventually. Besides, she needed to get back to her sleep schedule if she was going to be of any use to anyone. Better to rip this metaphorical Band-Aid off quickly, and soon.

Arguing that she had to deliver the next draft of the treaty, Lilah stashed the staff in the back seat of her car and headed out into the dying sun. The two hour drive gave her enough time to work out what she was going to say. First, she was going to demand an apology. Lilah deserved that much. Then, she was going to discuss boundaries for the future. That seemed like the adult thing to do. Lilah congratulated her self at how mature the plan sounded in her head. Reality, however, wasn’t quite so easy.

As she pulled into the parking lot, Lilah debated leaving the staff in the elevator to be found by whoever might be walking by and hauling ass back to the bar. That, unfortunately, would put the covering of their expenses (for which she had receipts) at risk. She’d never live it down if she came back empty handed. So, into the elevator she went.

In the carriage, Lilah felt warmth crawl up her side. She sneered to the ceiling, “Stop it.”

It stopped.

Steeling herself, Lilah stepped into the red light and headed for the bar. Brasa already knew she was here, so all she had to do was sit and wait for him to come to her. She pushed up onto a bar stool and set leaned the staff next to her legs. When the bartender approached, she ordered a bourbon, watching him pour the shot. When she tried to pay, he waved her off, telling her it was on the house.

Suspicious, she pocketed the cash and picked up the glass, sniffing. Nothing smelled off with it, so she took the tiniest sip. Tasted fine. She set it down. Suspicious. Lilah very rarely got free drinks, her looks too severe, her manner too cold. To be fair, that was her preference most of the time. Lilah didn’t have the energy or the patience to fend off advances from drunken men.

A shadow appeared beside her, but it was too cold to be the person she was waiting for. Lilah looked up, unsmiling.

“Can I help you?”

The man flashed his teeth, “I’m Benny.”

Lilah continued to look at him, unamused.

Uninvited, he sat, leaning an arm on the bar top, “You’re not what I expected.”

She debated answering him, a half dozen cutting remarks flying through her mind. In the end, she settled for turning her attention to her drink and ignoring him. Best course of action, really. Lilah needed to save all her quips for the person she was actually mad at.

“You don’t talk much, do you?”

At this Lilah rolled her eyes, fixing the guy with a look that said, ‘what the fuck do you think?’

His expression grew still, and she could see the glint of his game face, though he worked to control it. He growled, his hand grasping her arm above the elbow. The grip was painful, and Lilah only just managed to keep her expression cool as she felt the very real danger he presented to her. She was armed, both gun and knife, but she was technically in enemy territory. Starting a fight with one might mean starting a fight with all. Her eyes scanned the room, too many possible enemies nearby.

She’d have to talk her way out.

Heat pushed at her back.

Or not.

Benny let her go, sliding off the stool and taking a step away. Lilah craned her neck to confirm what she already knew.

“Oh, thank God,” she murmured, reaching down and picking up the staff, “I got what you asked for.”

Brasa’s attention was on the culebra who was backing away. He stared them down for a few more seconds before his eyes turned to her. Lilah held up the staff, shaking it from side to side a little.

He glanced at the staff, glanced at her, then turned, “Come with me.”

Lilah stared at his back for a second before she sighed and followed him through to his public office. There was no conversation as they traversed the stone pathway towards his desk. When he reached it, Brasa leaned his hips back on the desktop, gloved hands folded in front of him.

Wordlessly, Lilah handed him the staff. He took it, held it in both hands for barely a moment before setting it aside. For as much effort as he was going through to get ahold of it, he certainly didn’t look pleased to actually have it in his possession.

Unable to take more silence, Lilah said the only thing she could think of, “For the record, I wasn’t flirting with him, either.”

First shot fired. Lilah shifted on her feet in preparation for return fire.

Eyes dropping down and to the side, Brasa pushed his hands into his pockets and released a heavy sigh, “I regret how I reacted last time we spoke.”

Well, that was unexpected. Lilah had expected him to double down on it, not express regret. Still, that wasn’t an apology. It did, however, take the edge of her anger.

Lips pursed, she replied, “I’m sure you do.”

Another sigh. It looked like she was going to have to take lead on this, if she wanted a resolution. Lilah very deliberately did not think about why she might want resolution as opposed to giving him the eternal cold shoulder.

“Hey,” she began, holding up her hands, “You can’t get angry any time I’m nice to anyone around me. I have work to do, and that involves having good relationships. Jealousy is not a good look.”

He nodded, “I am unused to these feelings and I am struggling to control them.”

A good explanation, but not an excuse for the behavior.

“That’s okay,” Lilah responded, taking a step forward, “But you need to talk with me about them and not...make assumptions.”

Another nod, “I’m sorry.” There was her apology. “I will try.”

She saw it for what it was, a gesture of good faith. Mollified by his words, Lilah’s shoulders dropped. She hadn’t realized how much tension she’d been holding in her body for the last few days. And now, she didn’t quite know what to do with all the built up anger. Suddenly, she was very tired.

“Good,” she said, “Let’s call it rule number one: if something is bothering us, we’ll talk about it.”

At this, he stood up straighter, his eyes finally finding hers, “I can do that.”

“Okay.”

“Are you going to continue blocking me?” He asked in a small voice.

Brows together, Lilah responded lamely, “Blocking?”

He shrugged, “I haven’t been able to feel you while you were acquiring the staff. I worried.”

Ah. Lilah wondered if he’d picked that up. Of course he had.

“I’m sorry,” She said reflexively, “I needed a little space.”

He licked his lips, eyes regretful. Lilah felt a stab of remorse in her chest. She hadn’t meant to make him worry, she just needed to take a little time for herself to work out her feelings. And, she couldn’t do that if she could feel him with her in the interim. Still, she could also make a gesture of good faith.

“Alright,” she breathed, moving closer to him, “Rule number two, if we talk about it, we won’t block each other out of spite.”

Looking placated, Brasa reached out and took her hands, “I’m glad you are safe.”

“Me, too,” Lilah laughed, “There was no danger. We got in and out with no problems.”

He shook his head, “That isn’t the danger I’m worried about. The culebra out there? Benny? He’s been stirring the others up. He knows who you are to me, and I don’t put it past him to strike out at you to get to me.”

Setting aside the question of how Benny figured out that Lilah was bonded to Brasa, she took a minute to think, “Should I pull a weapon next time?”

He smirked, “You’re a terrible shot.”

“I didn’t say it would be a gun.”

“Oh?”

“I still have my knife. I did alright with the last guy. Got him twice before he threw me through the window.”

Brasa winced, “The point is that he was able to throw you through a window before I got there.”

“That is a good point,” Lilah said seriously, though she could feel a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.

He rolled his eyes, “Be serious.”

“I am,” she shot back, “I can handle myself in a fight. Usually.”

That was only half a lie. Lilah could handle herself with humans, most of the time. She’d been struggling to hold her own in a fight with a culebra ever since she’d first come up against them. But, he didn’t need to know that.

Deciding that she needed to change the subject, Lilah nodded to the staff, “What do you need it for, anyway?”

He drew he a little closer, expression serious, “I intend to close the portal between this world and Xibalba, so that no others like me come through it.”

She blinked, “Like you?”

Brasa hummed in confirmation, standing and leading her to the side where the secret door was open and waiting.

“Culebras were slaves there, treated as slaves, culled when needed,” he explained, stepping into the dark hallway. “Xibalbans are, as a whole, selfish creatures—destructive, vain, apathetic. Despite my birth status, I experienced what it was like to be subservient to them for many centuries. I don’t want this world to see that kind of pain.”

Lilah listened quietly, walking with him into his bedroom and through to his library where she sat on the couch at his side.

“I’ve done a lot of research,” he continued, “With the relics you acquire for me, I can close the veil permanently.”

She waited a few seconds to make sure he wasn’t going to explain further, then said, “I’m completely on board with this plan.”

He smiled, “I thought you might be.”

“How many more relics to I need to get?”

Brasa laid his arm over the back of the couch, “Three. A cup, a book, and a knife.”

“Sounds easy enough.”

“It could be,” he replied, reaching out to trace along her jaw, “I still worry for you. I think I always will.”

She could feel the heat of his body beneath the leather, and she found that she wanted to feel his hands—for real, this time, instead of vague remnants from a dream. In the moments of quiet, her skin remembered what it was like to be caressed by those hands, to feel his fingers curl around her.

“Why do you wear the gloves?”

His hand dropped, his head pulling back. Lilah regretted her words immediately, but he stopped her when she made to apologize.

“You know I’ve killed people,” he said plainly, “My queen, she made me do things that I couldn’t say no to. At first, I thought I was doing the right thing. I believed in it. In the end, I think I did it because I enjoyed it.” He looked down at his hands, “I guess I felt like if I didn’t touch them, if I didn’t feel it as I killed them, I could put distance between what I am and what I was made to do.”

Lilah was quiet a long time. He wouldn’t look at her. She could see the shame on his face, in the slump of his shoulders. She made a decision.

With deliberate slowness, she picked up his hand, saying, “I think we need to make new memories with these hands, then.”

Checking to make sure he was okay with it, Lilah very carefully pulled the glove off. His hand was a nice, normal hand. No scars, neatly trimmed nails, a wide palm with surprisingly fine boned fingers. Watching his face, she lifted it and placed it on her cheek, the warmth seeping in immediately. Lilah held it there, letting him feel.

He swallowed audibly, thumb swiping over her cheekbone. The touch was soft, delicate, testing. With just as deliberate a pace, Lilah pulled the glove off the other hand, placing it on the opposite cheek. He was breathing hard, eyes unfocused, plush lips parted. She could see the way his pupils were dilating, taking over the iris and bleeding a little into the white.

Lilah didn’t know why she did it, but instinct had her moving closer, swinging a leg over his hips and pushing him into the back of the couch. He kept his grip on her cheeks, letting her settle into his lap. Lilah dropped her forehead onto his, eyes half lidded. His body was fire hot beneath her, and she could tell that he was itching to move, yet he remained docile.

Letting the moment expand between them, Lilah touched her nose to his, bumping it affectionately. He smiled, his hands pushing into her hair.

“See?” she prompted gently, “New memories.”

He nodded even as he lifted up to kiss her, his hands holding her steady as he slipped his tongue inside for a taste. Lilah ran her hands down his chest, fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt as he kissed her nearly senseless. The scent of him, the way his arms wrapped around her middle and held her tight, the taste, it all mixed together in a way that made her lightheaded.

Brasa jerked back, pulling away even further when Lilah made to follow him. She panted, blinking as she took in the black of his eyes, the fangs that had descended. He hadn’t nicked her, she couldn’t taste blood, but she did notice a strange tingling on her lips, over her tongue.

“What?”

He ran his tongue over his lips, “I can’t kiss you like this.”

Her brows furrowed, “Because of your teeth?”

Mouth twitching, he shook his head, “Because of the venom.”

She drew in a breath, “I have no idea what to do with that information.”

He touched her mouth ever so gently, “Kissing you is arousing, Lilah.”

“Uh huh,” she said, nipping at the pad of his forefinger, “That’s kind of the point.”

Hand dropping, Brasa searched for words, “The muscle that controls the venom is reflexive, I can’t control it. Kissing you… like this...you’re very likely to ingest the venom.”

“And,” Lilah prompted, following his line of thought, “You think I’ll suffer from some of the effects.”

“Yes.”

They were going to have to get past this, sooner or later. Lilah voted for sooner.

Settling further into his embrace, Lilah cupped his jaw, leaning into his space, “Are you likely to be aroused any time we kiss for more than a moment?”

Eyes bright, he nodded, “Very likely, I think.”

“Then,” she reasoned in an even tone, “You’re going to settle for quick little kisses for the rest of our relationship?”

To give him an example to go by, Lilah dropped down and pressed a soft, but fleeting kiss to his mouth. He tried to lean up to get at her again, but she pushed him down, surprised by how willingly he submitted to the motion.

“I mean,” she continued, giving him another quick kiss, “If that’s what you want,” she kissed him harder, but just as quick, “I can try to accommodate you.”

He looked so torn, sitting underneath her weight, hands rubbing at her hips, pulling her into the hard planes of his body. Lilah might have had mercy on him if she thought he would get over his hesitation on his own. Deliberately, she gathered all the bravado she had in her body, using it to do what might normally make her feel too vulnerable.

“You know what that means, though, right?” she breathed, her mouth barely brushing against his, “No deep kisses, no sliding my tongue against yours,” she carded her hands back into his hair, pulling gently and reveling in the little contented moan he made. Then, she went in for the kill, “And definitely no biting.”

Brasa flinched, and she knew she had him. His grip on her hips tightened to near pain, his body rigid. Biting was so deeply ingrained in his kind, a need so deeply held, that to deny it was unthinkable. Lilah knew this, and she was definitely above using it.

She released her hold on his hair, palms on either cheek, “Do you want that?”

“No,” he rasped, a low growl building in his chest.

Smiling, she asked, “Then, what are we going to do about it?”

He looked at a loss, “I don’t know.”

Lilah thought for a moment, half a plan already formed, “You said I could ingest the venom and feel its effects. Is that better than a bite?”

Hesitation, then a curt nod.

“Okay then,” she said lightly, “How about we start with that? We can work up to a bite when you feel more comfortable.”

Lilah had no idea when she’d become so relaxed about him kissing her, biting her, and all the things that went along with that act. What she did know was she wasn’t going to sit stagnant, waffling about the rightness of it. Lilah wanted more kisses, and that was enough for her.

When she moved to kiss him, he pulled back a little, shifting to the side. Lilah, off balance, fell to the cushions. He crawled over her, hips settling between her thighs, though he held most of his weight on his arms. She laughed softly, letting her body relax into the couch.

“Just a little,” he urged, expression eager, “To start. To see how you do with it.”

Willing to let him experiment, Lilah nodded, chin tilting up with the gentle pressure his his hand.

“Open,” he whispered, his mouth hovering over hers.

Lilah’s lips parted, her eyes falling closed. She felt his jaw flex, felt little drops fall onto her tongue. They were hot, like the rest of him, rolling over her taste buds to burn down the back of her throat. She swallowed reflexively, taking whatever he was willing to give her in that moment.

When he lifted a little, Lilah opened her eyes to see him searching her face. She didn’t quite get why he was so nervous—he’d told her that the venom wasn’t harmful, that the effects were pleasing. Still, she was charmed by the concern.

And then the tingles started. Over the length of her tongue, her lips, the inside of her cheeks, down her neck and into the pit of her belly. Little tingles everywhere, as if she were covered in little tickling bubbles. Lilah huffed out a breath, grinning.

“Good?”

She nodded, “Very good.”

Though clearly pleased, his face was serious, his gaze looking her over and clocking every little movement.

She said his name to capture his full attention, “This is nice.”

His mouth kicked up on one side, “Wait until it peaks.”

“Peaks?”

Brasa hummed a little, pushing hair away from her face, his touch light. A moment later and she knew what he meant. The pleasant tickle turned into a searing burn of pleasure, her muscles going lax and nerves firing sporadically. She let out a startled yelp, her hands coming up to dig into his broad shoulders.

“Hush, querida,” he murmured, hands running along her sides.

As quick as it rose, so did the feeling subside. Lilah was left sucking in air as she gained control of her limbs again. She wiped sweat from her forehead, her hand trembling.

Staring up into his carefully guarded eyes, Lilah gave him a soft smile, “That’s a good start, I think.”

#from dusk til dawn #from dusk til dawn: the series #Brasa #In the Bond

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khangowrites · 3 years ago

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A Stimming List I Had Fun Doing

Here’s 25 stim questions if you’d like to do this yourself!

(From Ashton Daniel’s list on this video (go check it out!): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gHlos9VtM0o)

Why do you stim?

To calm myself, and to concentrate.

When did you realize what stimming is/why you do it?

I learned the term about a year ago, but I recognized it as the stuff I did as a kid that I then hid as I grew up. I now try to let myself do it more often.

Have you ever made a stim toy? What’s your favorite to make?

Not exactly. I like certain colors and fuzzy things and I make rugs and paint with the colors. Like a visual/texture thing.

What’s your go to stim for...

Being happy and/or excited?

Hands shake, fists closed usually cause I get embarrassed. Sometimes I bounce around, rock on my heels. Rolling my fists after one another really fast.

Anxiety or stress?

Big Leg bounce, Rocking. Shaking hands out.

Upset?

Claw hands, big sweeping motions with my arms.

Overwhelmed?

Same as anxiety. Sometimes I just don’t move at all.

Sensory-seeking?

Hand circles, wrist popping. Also flicking fingertips. I shrug and wiggle my shoulders a lot.

Any other strong emotions/feelings that make you stim?

Deep thought makes me put my hands to my mouth, applying pressure to my lower half of my face. Also with fuzzy things.

When I’m reading or attempting to focus intensely I subconsciously tap my fingers in patterns on the book surface or whatever is in front of me that makes sound.

When I listen to music by myself, I like to do an infinity symbol with my head as I listen, also stim dance with my hands and arms.

What’s your favourite texture?

Really soft smooth things- like squishymallow stuffed animals. And water.

Do you stim with your mouth at all? Do you have a chew toy or do you use something else?

I bite the insides of my cheeks constantly, but I haven’t got quite used to using a chew stim toy in public yet. I also put pressure on my face almost constantly. It is calming.

Do you use a weighted blanket, vest, plush, etc?

I have a small space themed lap blanket. I like it a lot.

What’s your favourite stim toy you have?

My favorite color Tangle. I take it everywhere.

Is there something on your stim toy wish list?

There’s a surfboard chewlery necklace I’d like to take with me on my upcoming trip.

Do you remember the first stim toy you had/have?

My tangle.

What’s your favourite body stim?

Stim dance! Probably why I enjoy conducting. Too bad no one sees me stim dancing.

Favourite visual stim?

Leaves on treetops, sky, water ripples, favorite colors. I could stare at them for hours.

Do you have pets you like stimming with? (Petting them, cat’s purrs, etc)

Not really. Maybe if my cat liked to be pet more.

Do you have echolalia and do you use it to stim at all?

YEA I quote things and make sounds all the time! Currently, the phrase “the reason I’m in here, is cause of that fake hedgehog!” from SA2. It’s on loop.

Do you watch stimmy videos and if so what’re your favorites?

Nah, not unless someone is uploading water stuff, but I don’t see that. I guess music might count. It needs to be a highly specific kind of visual stim for me to like it.

What’s something not made to be a stim toy, but you use it for stimming?

My mechanical keyboard lmao

Phone case

Game Controllers

Favourite simple stim toy, like rocks or buttons or fabric?

Metallic buttons or clasps, rough surfaces. Rugs.

Is there an everyday action you find stimmy, like skipping or brushing your hair?

Showers are simultaneously great and horrible sensory wise. I love the feeling of the water but hate everything else.

Are you more of a sensory seeker or avoider?

I’m not sure. I’m anxious a lot of the time, so I think most of my stims are focused on calming me rather then energizing.

What’s your go-to stim you do without thinking about?

Hands putting pressure on the lower half of my face, tapping fingers, wrist popping.

#stimming #sensory processing #actuallyautistic #neurodiversity #this was really fun to make lol

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spaceraspberries · 4 years ago

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(The first chapter of my 18+ Undertale Fic ‘Monsterous Skeletonus’ is complete!)

(It’s gonna be a -very- slow burn, but there will be a whole lot of the UF Skelebro’s (G included!) in later chapters and a whole lot of eventual smut to go with it, even if the plot is gonna be heavier than a semi as it maps out 👀)

(Once I get it proof read fully I’m going to post it on A03!)

.................

‘Alright, alright! Easy now. We don’t need anyone breaking a leg, do we?’

‘Ugh, why do we need to go -all- the way down here? It’s not like the machinery for this shit doesn’t exist. I feel like a old school miner or something, y’know?’

‘Hey! That’s no way for a brave explorer to talk, Meg! Don’t you want to see what’s down there? Could be all sorts of cool, weird stuff!’

‘Like what? More rocks and dirt?~ Oh! Maybe some ‘sand’ even? Give me a break’

‘Guys, d-don’t start arguing. We’re going to be down here f-for a while so it’s best to get along~’

.................

The varying chatter of excited, muffled voices ringing down into the unknown, inky blackness of what was assumed to be a rather hidden among the weeds and rocks but still wide crevice leading into Mt. Ebott that had been only recently discovered, the forested area had been well scouted out over the past few weeks and had been mapped well so that the current team leading the charge wouldn’t have to contend with trying to figure out where their destination would be by sight alone.

The ‘team’, otherwise known as FTL (Future team leaders. A cheesy name if there had ever been one) were simply a group of third year Geo students who had been tasked with taking core samples from the innermost caverns of Mt. Ebott for substrate testing. It wasn’t exactly a glamorous job by any stretch of the word but it was good experience for the youngsters in terms of field work, the leader of the group of ragtag students, a rather burley, bearded man named Sean and his partner Gunter already being at the bottom of the cavern as they waited for the rest of his team to follow suit, the impatient Sean watching as Meg and Desmond, the third and fourth oldest on the team respectively, carefully sidled their way down the craggy rock surface, arguing all the way much to the usually cheerful but honest mans chagrin.

“The more you guys complain the more time your gonna spend down here getting the damn samples. We still have to set up camp too so I suggest you guys pick up the pace”.

A collective groan coming from the duo grappling down, Desmond and Meg soon reached the bottom of the dimly lit cavern while two other members on the surface still suited up, Terra and Mira, a pair of naive adventurers if there ever were any, looking seriously nervous as they prepared to begin the descent down into the unknown.

“You ready?”, Mira smiling nervously at the freckle faced Terra as her friend nodded back hesitantly, it was more often than not that Mira was the braver one between the both of them, Terra being more of the ‘I’ll just follow you for safety sake’ type ever since they were children and Mira often having had to assume a’leadership’ role because of it.

Not that she minded it at all though! If anything, the short-stack of a girl enjoyed leading her best friend through the forest and hills when they were merely kids, the both of them often fighting imaginary monsters and imagining what it would be like to climb the forbidding and dangerous Mt. Ebott that had the reputation of housing -real- beasts and all sorts of angry spirits for centuries.

Well, according to many a scary bedtime story it did at least, Mira no really longer believing such childish fantasies and thinking them about as real as a monster under the bed. The girl had always been terrified as a kid by the thought of some horrific creature climbing down the mountain and snatching her up in the night when she misbehaved, her being unable to look back at those times without laughing at how her own imagination used to run wild.

“Y-yeah, let’s just take it easy though, alright?”.

Terra blushing nervously as Mira grinned and the both of them began the slow descent down into the inner workings of the massive Mt. Ebott, the dark slag that covered most of the upper surface area soon gave way to crumbly, brown flecks of caked in dirt about halfway down that rained into the depths below at the smallest touch, the bright entrance to the surface growing smaller and yet smaller still as eventually it was merely a pin prick of light far, far above the teams head when Terra and Mira finally hit the weirdly soft and rather squishy ground beneath.

“See? We made it down okay~”, Mira helping to unclip Terra’s equipment as she could tell her fellow team mate was uneasy, she was used to Terra being a bit of a worry wart but she seemed to be especially unnerved today for some reason, “Told ya we would make it in one piece”. Sticking her tongue out playfully at Terra as the girl batted her hand away with a sigh once she was unclipped, Mira laughed as Sean meanwhile approached with bottles of water for both of them.

“Hey now! Looks like you made it all in one piece!~”, Sean smirking broadly as he playfully patted the nervous looking Terra on the back, the girl smiled small as she watched the others in the group already beginning to set their bags down alongside the smooth, stone covered walls of the wide, expansive cavern they had landed in.

The circular area where they stood being lit by a few torches that Gunter, a rather quiet short man that was second in command to Sean had placed around what would be their designated base area, it was easy to tell that whatever this place was it must have been pretty damn old, scraggy bits of moss and thick, thorny vines creeping up the strangely, almost ‘carved’ looking walls that were reminiscent of a oversized well in a way.

The dirt covered ground being rather soft and squishy as was mentioned previously, it wasn’t ‘wet’ but had the texture and feel of a half absorbed sponge that had been wrung out and left to dry, bits of dried plant matter, green and yellow, making up a bulk of the signs of life that had floated down from the surface to the seemingly lifeless cave over the years, a large pile of the shriveled mess having formed a rather neat mound directly below the gleaming entrance far above.

Meanwhile, the lack of hardiness in the soil was proving difficult for Desmond to drive the stakes for his tent into by his annoyed grunts and frustrated strings of cusses.

Nature wasn’t for everyone apparently.

A naturally formed but crooked arch towards the east appearing to lead deeper into whatever lay beyond the teams immediate landing spot, it was oddly convenient, almost as if it was beckoning anyone who fell or grappled their way down here to enter it and take a chance with whatever dangers laid beyond Its dismal, abyss like entryway.

Mira getting a bit of a odd vibe from the area as she decided to stick by her team mates side for now, there would be plenty of time to explore later, her taking a sip from her water bottle with a content sigh as Sean soon formed everyone in a loose huddle to discuss their next plan of action.

“Alright!”, Clapping a hand to get everyones attention as he visually assessed that his team was safe and sound, Sean held his constant, positive outlook proudly even as most of his members looked exhausted from the day trek up Ebott and grappling down here, “Now, we all know why we’re here, collecting samples and all that fun stuff. Of course, to avoid outside contamination from -that-“, Sean pointed upwards at the tiny prick of light to the surface above them, “We are going to have to do a bit of traveling inwards once morning hits!”.

“Oh! Does that mean we get to see how far all this goes?~”, Mira speaking up as she genuinely seemed excited about the possibility of traveling farther into the cave system, she ignored the sound of Meg behind her muttering something annoyed under her breath, “I hear some of these caves can stretch for -miles-!”.

“Andddd your exactly right, kiddo! Of course, we only need to collect samples unspoiled by outside contamination. We won’t need to travel too terrible far in for that, but I wouldn’t discount the idea of another trip down here if funding for this pans out”, Sean winking at Mira as the pint sized girl blushed and internally swooned, a intentional, rough cough from Desmond seemed to break the pair out of whatever little ‘thing’ was blooming between them as he motioned to the tents that still needed to be set up.

“Yeah, uh, a-anyways, another thing guys, I don’t want to see anyone wandering off either, got it? We have no idea where these caverns might lead and the last thing we need is to have to send out a rescue squad to find one of you. I’m sure everyone has heard the horror stories of those idiots who decide to go off alone and wind up wedged under a boulder or something”.

Sighing a bit awkwardly to himself as he seemed to get the hint across to his team judging from the murmurs of acknowledgement they gave, Sean was a natural leader and the head of this group obviously....but sometimes it was a bit difficult to get everyone on the same page, the only real ‘friendship’ between them all outside of being grouped students and cavers being Terra and Mira, two of the youngest mates among them.

This was going to be a long, difficult journey if they couldn’t all manage to find a common ground to communicate on, but at least in the end their mission was likely to prove successful now that they had arrived safely in the interior workings of Ebott as planned with barely a scratch.

Soon enough everyone would be back on the surface and they could all go their separate ways, but for now there was work to be done in terms of getting tents set up and dinner ready, the long hike just to get to the top of Ebott having been almost a full days worth of energy.

“Meg, you get a fire and dinner set up since Desmond already has the tents”, Pulling out a small note paid from his pocket as he scribbled something down while he spoke, Sean than looked at Terra and Mira as his usually eager eyes seemed to grow a bit more tense in thought as he rubbed his temple slowly with his free hand.

“And you two....Just...don’t do anything stupid, okay? We don’t want another Cauldron incident. That -especially- goes for you Mira, got it?”.

“Uh...yeah, y-yes Sir”, Mira blushing and nodding once as she glanced at Terra who now had a chance to smile and nudge her friend back playfully, neither of them particularly were proud of the unspoken ‘Cauldron’ incident but it was good reason for them to stay put and out of the way.

...........................

The team taking the next hour or two to set up tents and unpack gear, the plan was for a three day excursion to take samples from the depths of Ebott for both sediment and groundwater exploration. Of course, no one had really ever been -in- this mysterious cave system until now to map it out, the next few days having the potential to be longer or shorter depending on exactly how difficult the terrain proved to be to navigate.

By the time Meg had managed to scrap together a decent fire and everyone had settled down around it for a meal of rationed leek and potato Soup, the group seemed to be more than happy to simply have the chance to relax and take off their worn jackets and boots, The night sky far, far above them having the faintest sparkle of stars and moon mist to indicate the time of day on the surface.

Mira sitting to the left of Terra and near Sean on a blanket while Gunter sat near Desmond on the ground and Meg had perched herself on her bag, it could have almost be called a crude form of camping in a way if any of the said campers shared any sense of shared camaraderie.

“I’ve always heard weird things about this mountain, y’know? Things like ghosts and goblins and the like”, Desmond sipping his soup as he spoke with a sly grin, the flannel shirted man seemed to enjoy the way he made the nervous Terra especially perk up and shuffle ever so closer to Mira like a lost pup.

“How they especially like to eat little kids that wander away from home....Yeah, I bet they are just waiting to snatch some new prey up when they get a chance~”.

“Real mature, Des. I bet it took you all day to come up with that one, right?”, Meg rolling her blue eyes as the man continues to grin and simply drank his soup, Mira meanwhile seemed to be quite curious about what Desmond was getting at though as she suddenly became a bit more attentive.

“Well...I’m not a kid and neither is Terra, so we should be fine~”, Smiling lightly as she kind of wanted Desmond to continue talking about his little stories of what might be in these mountains, her gaze silently urged him to keep speaking as she let Terra cuddle close to her for warmth.

Desmond chuckling and shaking his head at Mira’s assertion that she wasn’t a child, he closed his eyes for a moment in thought, “ Nah, you don’t wanna hear stuff like that before bed, believe me”.

“B-but, I mean it, I’m really curious about -all- that kind of stuff! Cryptids, ghosts, you name it! I-I mean I don’t -believe- in any of it...it’s just, uh...fascinating I guess”.

“Mmm, I think he might be right, Mira. Besides, we should be hitting the sack soon anyways. Everyone’s got a big day ahead tomorrow”, Sean raising a brow at Mira’s apparent interest in what might be lurking around the inner workings of Ebott, his input seemed to only fuel Mira’s insistence in knowing more about what she thought Desmond was ‘hiding’ from her because he saw her as merely a kid.

“Come on, just -one- story?~ You can’t just lead me on like that”, Mira feeling Terra cuddle a bit closer to her even more so as she seemed to be persistent enough to convince Desmond to give in, the man sighed and put his empty cup down as Mira internally cheered that he seemed he was going to tell them more about his creepy tales.

“Alright alright, but only one, got it? Man, you kids these days know how to work a old mans feelings”.

........................

................

.........

Sleep coming easy for the exhausted group by the time Desmond had sufficiently managed to spook nearly everyone out with his tale of a creature called the ‘Crooked handed woman’, Terra had, as usual, decided to remain by Mira’s side even when they were comfortably safe inside their tents and was cuddled up next to her best friend once the group had decided to call it a night.

It wasn’t as if Mira minded much that the perpetually nervous girl wanted to share a tent, her honestly thriving off the warmth that the both of them being this close gave in this unnaturally cold cavern.

Desmond’s tale still ringing in the back of Mira’s mind as she fell into a mild sleep not long after getting herself comfortable, the thought of some old, crone like hag with skin like old onion paper and a twisted and gnarled hand with a ‘mind of its own’ was enough to keep her up a little after everyone else had fallen asleep, the occasional sound of what Mira assumed was dried leaves shuffling outside her tent instinctively making her cuddle up a bit more in her sleeping bag to feel smaller.

Yeah, maybe it hadn’t been the best idea to beg Desmond to tell his tale after all....

‘T-there isn’t anything out there! Stop being stupid and get your mind off of it already!’

Maybe Desmond was right to not want to tell his creepy stories when what she really needed was to sleep for tomorrows expedition deeper into the cave, Mira sighing a bit to herself as she watched Terra’s soft, unworried, sleeping face next to her own as she slowly tried to lull her body into rest as well.

............

......

-scerch scerch...scritch....~

‘W-what? What is that?’

Mira cracking her groggy eyes open after a minute or so of letting her mind rest, the sound of rustling ‘leaves’ outside of her tent had for a second or two became a bit louder than before, her senses instinctively going on high alert as she waited in silence to see if she wasn’t truly just going crazy from exhaustion.

...............

.........

‘scritch scritch....-c r u u u u n c h-

.............

The sound of what Mira could best describe as one of the Lit-A-Fire portable logs that had been put out by Sean earlier snapping slowly in half, the girls heart was pounding in her chest by now as it was more than obvious that someone, or some t h i n g, was out there just beyond her tent, her wide eyes focusing on the still sleeping Terra in front of her as she debated on waking her friend up to investigate.

‘No, she is just gonna freak out. Just stay put Mira...I-it’s probably just Sean or someone out there....’

............

-c r u n c h-

The sound of another one of the logs seemingly being split in half reaching Mira’s ears as she squeezed her eyes shut and tried not to panic, a odd tapping noise, almost like long nails clicking on stone, was a new sound to emerge after a few seconds of silence, the story she had heard from Desmond earlier returning to her already panicking young mind ten fold.

The old lady with her crooked hand and it’s long, gnarled nails....t-there was no way it was real, right?

............

.......

-tap tap-

A terrified, muffled squeak coming from Mira as she buried her head in her bag, the sound was now right outside of her tent as she felt Terra stir besides her, her not wanting to see who or whatever was attempting to seemingly try to get her attention as the front zipper of the girls shared tent opened rather slow and quietly.

“G-go away!!”.

Mira bolting up and slamming a pillow directly into the face of a most perplexed looking Gunter, the sleepy, heavy set man crunched his brow together as he put his hands up in a mock fashion to show he surrendered.

“Hey there, just calm down!”, Shaking his head once as he tried to speak quietly to avoid waking Terra, Mira blushed heavily out of shame as she immediately seemed to realize how stupid she had been to think that the kindly second in command to Sean had been some kind of ‘monster’.

“Was wonder’in if ya had the first aid in here. Kinda stepped on some of the logs while going to take a leak...and, well...”, Gunter running a hand along his hairline as Mira immediately went to hand off the box of medical supplies to the sleepy looking man that resided safely by the tent entrance, the pink blush she had sprouted didn’t leave her face as she sighed and retrieved her pillow she had thrown at him as well.

“Sorry bout that....”, Speaking quietly as she hugged the parcel to her chest, Mira was merely given a nod by the typically introverted Gunter as he went to zip the tent back up, her and the still sleeping Terra once again being left in the dark, Mira feeling like a total fool for letting Desmond and his stupid story get to her to the point of her actually thinking some terrifying beast had been shuffling about outside.

..............

........

-Scritchhhhhh~

Laying back down to -finally- get some much needed sleep, Mira paid little mind to the sound of what she assumed was Gunter bandaging up his wounded foot, her giving a mighty yawn as she wrapped a arm around Terra and-

..........

-B A N G-

.............

A heavy, extremely loud jolt rocking the pairs tent and apparently the others nearby as she could hear the sound of confused yelling and tired murmurs almost all at once, the startled Terra too blinked her eyes open as she gave a scared, confused look to Mira, her putting a finger to her lip to silently signal to the younger girl to remain quiet as she unzipped and peeked out of the tent to see what the heck was up now.

.......

-B A N G!!!-

A heavy, hot pressure nearly collapsing the heavy canvas tent in on both Terra and Mira as the girls let out a terrified cry of confusion as the fabric fell around them, Mira even under the mess could tell that Sean was shouting indistinguishable words to the others in a apparent panic at whatever was going on, Meg’s just as muffled, frantic pleas mixing in with his orders as Mira tried to yank Terra out from under their collapsed tent as another heavy bang and a sudden, strange whistling noise erupted around them again.

“T-Terra! We need to get out of here!!!”.

Terra, fearful tears streaming down her face as Mira grabbed a hold of her wrist while a bright flash of what could only have been described as a ‘ball of green hued flames’ slammed into the opposing wall nearest where Desmond and Meg’s tent had been, Mira squirmed out from the remnants of tent fabric as she didn’t bother or try to look at whatever or whoever was causing this havoc, her only instinct telling her to run as far away with Terra as she could while she still had the chance.....

Whatever was going on m-must have been some weird, natural cave phenomenon....that was the only real explanation Mira could come up with on the fly e-even if it made little sense logically....

Flames just didn’t shoot out of nowhere like this though.....but maybe since Ebott was rumored to be a long dormant volcano t-that had something to do with all of this?

As little sense as it made it was the -only- logic running through Mira’s imagination as she tried to block out the frantic sound of yelling and screaming back from base, the loud crack of a shotgun being added to the fray as Mira practically dragged Terra towards the archway nearby.

The dimness of the cavern making it nearly impossible for the pair to get their footing as the torches from earlier had been put out by Sean in anticipation of a good nights rest, Mira blindly ran towards the stone archway that led deeper into the yet unexplored inner cavern, her bare feet scrapping painfully along the much rougher, cement-like surface of the pitch black entry way into the unknown depths.

Her nearly crushing Terra’s wrist in her grip as she pulled the hyperventilating and crying girl along, the sound of the carnage from the base camp was now only a muffled, distant drone as the wide eyed and fully shocked Mira eventually stopped to take a breath once they reached a narrow alcove that was eerily silent and still compared to the chaos outside.

“Y-you alright?~”, Whispering softly to Terra as she held her sobbing friend close to her chest, Mira tried to shush Terra but it wasn’t doing much good, the easily terrified girl unable to calm herself as she clung to Mira tightly.

“I want to go -home-, Mira! Coming down h-here was a mistake! I -knew- it was a bad idea and now look what happened! We need to g-go back and help them!!”.

“I know, I wanna go home too....but I don’t think going back there is the best option right now”, Mira trying to give Terra a little smirk to lighten the mood but failing miserably, it didn’t help much at all as Terra simply broke out into a fresh round of sobbing, “We will figure this out, okay?~ I-I’m sure things aren’t as bad as they seem and we probably just over reacted. To be honest I bet this is one of Sean’s stupid pranks”.

“Thats -not- funny and you know that isn’t true!! F-for all we know Sean a-and Desmond and everyone else is hurt back there! I don’t know what happened but whatever a-accident or...-thing- tore up all our tents...but we are going to have to go back and help them!”.

The sound of the distant drone of chaos back from the base slowly growing less urgent as a unnerving silence began to replace it instead, Mira gave Terra a look that said to not even try it, her keeping her grip on her friends wrist as tight as ever.

“Listen...”, Mira taking a hold of Terra’s trembling hand as she tried to be the braver one between them, she sensed that the agitated girl was going to run off the first chance she saw to who knows where and wasn’t going to take the risk of letting that happen.

“Your going to stick with me until we can figure out what’s going on, okay? Going it alone in this place...seems a bit, uh, dangerous...”.

“B-but Mira!-“.

Mira letting out a deep, exhausted sigh as she shuffled Terra to her chest for comfort with the girls protesting, it was partially to avoid letting her see the nervous tears forming in her own eyes, Mira not being cut out to be a leader on the fly like this by any means.

“We need to see if there are any other exits out of here. I know this is scary a-and all, but I know you can do this, Terra~ I know your really brave deep down even if you don’t think it”, Giving her friends hand one last squeeze of determination as Terra seemed to brighten up slightly at Mira’s kind words, the darkness ahead of them seemed to be silently daring the inexperienced pair to take it on, there being no chance of going back now as Mira gave a slight tug of Terra’s arm to prompt her along into the unexplored and potentially hazardous new world, “We are going to get out of here together, I promise”.

Unfortunately for the unwary girls, the journey ahead of them wasn’t going to be easy and the chance of either making it back to the surface at all was slim, a certain green eyed, rather dirty furred ‘beast’ already being well aware of Mira and Terra’s presence~

#Undertale #undertale fic #fanfiction #horror #slow burn #undertale fanfiction #o.c

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