#i need to try him with more of a stress-management comp i think.

[atissi]

@cynoglav​ excellent question. excuse me while i have a category 5 hyperfixation moment.

this is my #1 favourite comp, which i fondly refer to as “jingled for death”. very lightweight, fast and packs a punch. you get decent healing between arbalest and occultist, good stress healing from jester, high damage output from arbalest and bounty hunter, and you get occultist mostly setting up kills or negating damage. the primary downside is that they’re all a bit squishy (especially poor occultist who has to be in rank 2 to use his stun) so you have to spend a lot of time managing health. however, since they all have high speed, i haven’t had too much trouble with killing, stunning, or debuffing enemies before they can act.

obviously you might want to exchange jester for houndmaster for better mark synergies, but imo they’re very similar units mechanically (dodgy bleed units with a stress heal) and i prefer the buffs+finale to cleaves+guards in this case. it allows for a more offensive playstyle (although I do equip arbalest with bola and jester with harvest to cover the cleaves a bit). since ive been getting more comfortable with using houndmaster though, i might give marked for death another shot!

“jingled for death” was my first endgame comp and they fucking nailed it. it helped that my occultist had a +8 speed boost from the brothel, so he was just marking everything before they even had a chance to react. love you poussin <3 wish you’d stop losing my fucking trinkets in bed though. or getting a speed debuff because you sprained your hip.

runner-up goes to this comp, which i discovered recently and had an absolute blast with. formally it’s called “bloodbath” but i like to call them the artery obliterators. basically i equip my highwayman with grapeshot blast and a shit ton of accuracy trinkets. everyone else i give damage and crit builds. ideally highwayman gets the first turn to just blow up the first three ranks. then the other three units crit-nuke everything. with hound’s harry AND extra grapeshot blasts, you can crit-check the first 3 ranks in one go. it’s incredibly satisfying and honestly great for stress management. my main concern is the lack of a good spot healer to get someone off death’s door though; flagellant can manage the bulk of healing pretty well, and hellion and houndmaster can save themselves, AND in a pinch houndmaster can guard whoever’s in trouble, but i have trust issues from previous units dying to DOT before I can heal them, so i don’t use this comp too often. just for fun and just for bleed areas

i also recently had a lot of fun with arbalest+plague doctor+flagellant+crusader in crimson court, but i’d have to playtest it in other areas. it’s really fun having so much healing and stress healing available, and the rank access is great.

other honorary mentions: any comp designed for dancers (i love positioning strats so much you don’t even know), leper with revenge and a guard unit (houndmaster and man-at-arms obviously works for negating damage, but antiquarian actually works great for boosting leper’s prot and dodge), plague doctor and flagellant (very synergistic healing and rank access), and jester and leper (power of love)

[alovelyburn]

Do you think the only thing that keeps Griffith and Guts so close together is their miscommunication? I read someone’s tags about them that basically were saying that if they worked pass their issues they would just find out they are completely incompatible and that’s why they never work as a pair in other AUs. I can’t stop thinking about it. Thoughts?

I'm pretty sure I saw that tag while I was bored browsing one day, and my reaction was the same then as it is now - what a weird take.

Okay we're going to address this in two parts - the fanfic/AU thing and the canon thing.

First up! Fanfic/fandom.

The claim that their apparent incompatibility is why they don't work out in AUs is already kind of odd - first of all what AUs are they reading? Because obviously they must mean fanfiction but if they don't think any Berserk fanfic ends with a happy ending for them they must not be reading a lot of Berserk fanfic? I mean I don't read a lot of fanfic and I've run into plenty of happy ending AUs.

But even more than that, speaking as someone who seemingly is incapable of writing a happy ending for them, I think any dearth of happy endings has more to do with the kind of person that tends to gravitate to G/G, really - or rather the tastes of said people - than it has to do with any like inherent incompatibility between their personalities. Because it's not exactly a happy/healthy relationship, so if you're drawn to it you probably enjoy bittersweet things or dysfunctional things or pain, so you might end up writing bittersweet painful dysfunction.

(Ima write a happy ending one day though I just have to locate an opportunity, lmao.)

Anyway that's the fanfic/fandom/au portion. Now let's talk canon.

I think the way Guts and Griffith's personalities interact, they can be incredibly good for each other or they can be incredibly destructive toward each other. I'll explain why I think that in a second, but basically it's just like, you're never going to get a middle of the road relationship dynamic with them.

So the explanation: they can be good for each other because the things one of them wants is always something the other is wholly capable of giving.

Griffith is plagued with self-doubt and thinks he's a terrible person. He's also incredibly guarded and emotionally locked up - he needs someone he can show himself to, good and bad, who won't turn away or think poorly of him because of the things he's done. Guts is absolutely a person who can do that - he doesn't think the things Griffith has been hating himself for are bad to begin with. He's a confidante, a co-conspirator, a cheerleader, and he sees Griffith's positive qualities in a way that Griffith himself struggles to do. Griffith also needs an outlet from the stress of his position, and no one else makes him laugh or relax the way Guts does. Guts also gets Griffith in touch with his own heart, which he spends a great time trying to suppress.

Guts is plagued with poor self-esteem and an inability to believe in his own worth. He has a hard time conforming himself to behavioral standards imposed by others due to his temper and his willfulness. Most of all he wants somewhere to belong, and for someone he admires and respects to respect and value him - he wants to be seen. And Griffith is absolutely the person who can do that - even before they know each other Griffith breaks his own rules to pursue Guts. Griffith provides a kind of structure to his life that he never was able to manage on his own - and still hasn't - but does so without being overbearing or controlling or taking him for granted. And Griffith, the person Guts admires more than anything or anyone, consistently demonstrates how much he values Guts not only as a soldier but as a person. He's also a package deal with the Hawks, Guts' only real family, and not only does Griffith see him, in a lot of ways Griffith can't see anything but him.

I mean that's just off the top of my head, but basically they are incredibly compatible - even the ways they're different are complementary - Griffith's mind strengthen's Guts' passion and vice versa. If they worked it out they really could do anything - secure a kingdom, sure. Leave it behind? Guts is the only one that Griffith could ever choose over his dream.

But there's also the other side of it - the way their fears reinforce and trigger one another when they make a misstep.

Take the actual canon sequence of events that destroyed everything for example:

Guts overhears Griffith saying some shit that didn't even apply to him to Charlotte, and because he has a hard time believing in his own value and worth, he immediately takes it to heart. He accepts the "fact" of his worthlessness as a given so immediately that he doesn't even bother to ask about it. Not Griffith, not Casca, no one. Instead he upends his entire life to try to address that thing that's bothering him. He doesn't tell Griffith he's leaving probably at least in part because he doesn't think it matters that much, but of course it does matter and that's where Guts' insecurity - the way he withdraws to protect himself - ends up triggering Griffith's self-hatred.

Now because of Griffith's self-loathing, he takes Guts' decision to leave via sneakout as a sign that Guts hates him and can't wait to get away from him. He accepts the "fact" of his repulsiveness as a given so immediately that he doesn't ask for an explanation or anything! He just goes into panic mode.

But because Guts is so insecure, he can't perceive Griffith's reaction as a personal issue and just takes it as a sign that he's still useful as a soldier and Griffith doesn't want to lose a tool. So it just makes him double down.

And his doubling down makes Griffith even more certain that Guts hates him because if he didn't why would he be so calm and sure about leaving?

Basically, once one of them is thrown off and takes an emotionally defensive step back, it triggers the other's insecurities which triggers the first one's insecurities and it just spirals into oblivion. Because if one of them starts the bad ball rolling, its very difficult for the other to be rational enough about it to slow the fall.

And so we can say they're perfectly capable of destroying each other, but we knew that because they do in canon.

But the thing is, it's a roll of the dice. Or more specifically, its a misplayed hand of cards or something, like they had everything they would have needed to win but they just made some missteps. And the reason they ended up making those missteps is... Destiny and Stuff.

But if you take the stringpulling deities out of the picture there's nothing that guarantees that they'd have to mess it up. There's no reason they couldn't turn out just fine.

It's a matter of trying to navigate those landmines long enough for the positive/supportive aspects of their dynamic to kind of wear those down a bit, really.

[blushy-tigerrr]

Rich Man’s World

c!quackity x gender neutral reader

summary: Las Nevadas was the paradise of very few. On the outside, it was beautiful in the strangest way. People travelled there to let off some steam. They needed an escape from all of the stress of the SMP, and they used gambling as their escape. The leader of this whole idea was none other than Quackity, who was arguably one of the richest men on the server because of this place... or so they thought.

word count: 1.6k

warnings: angst; cursing; mentions of migraines, taking pills; sad ending

based on: money, money, money by abba

a/n: this is my submission for @okpunz ‘s writing comp! super excited to be participating in my first one of these

---

Y/N sighed in exhaustion, throwing their apron on the bar with muted anger. They sat down at the bar with a huff, putting their head in their hands. It was just another day of waiting tables at this godforsaken place, and they were at the end of their wits. The start of another migraine began to creep into their skull, making them wince. Migraines have become a regular thing for them after work, and that really didn’t make this god awful job any easier to deal with.

Y/N fished a bottle of ibuprofen out of their bag with a shaky hand. They walked around to the other side of the bar and filled up a cup of water. They looked out onto the casino floor, taking in the massive amount of trash strewn out across the floor. Knowing that they were the only one left here to be cleaning all of this up made them feel even more woozy. They winced at a piercing shock of pain in their head, gripping onto the edge of the bar with one hand. A few tears of frustration and pain threatened to spill from their eyes. Y/N sniffed, wiping the tears away quickly before anyone could catch them. They quickly tossed the pills into their mouth, washing them down with a long sip of cool water.

“Y/N! Mi amor!” The familiar upbeat voice rang in Y/N’s ears, causing another shock of pain. They cringed again, trying to hold back the pained expression on their face. Quackity. Their boss. Their lover. Someone that they used to call their best friend. Now… it’s a bit complicated. Did he piss them off to no end? Every single fucking day. Did they still love him? “Hey, babe! Another crazy night in Las Nevadas, hm?” Quackity’s lively voice startled them out of their thoughts before they could even answer themselves. Quackity wrapped his arms around Y/N’s waist, planting a sloppy kiss on their cheek.

“Sure is, hon...” Y/N mumbled, still trying to balance themselves on the bar. Quackity began rambling about all of the bets he had won tonight, but the words fell on deaf ears as Y/N began to zone out. That question hadn’t left their mind. They did love him… didn’t they? He may be an asshole sometimes, but they did still love him. Right?

“Alright, I’m just gonna go count up the earnings for tonight, and then you’ll get your pay. Okay, amor?” Quackity grabbed Y/N’s hand, placing a gentle kiss on the top of it. Y/N halfheartedly smiled at him as he made his way back to his secluded office.

Y/N sighed heavily, making their way back around to the front of the bar. They slumped down into the chair, laying their head on their arms resting on the bar. Their massive headache only fueled the extreme emotions filling their chest.

Anger was the most prominent. Y/N worked all night and all day so them and Quackity could pay their bills, but there never seemed to be a single penny left for them. They would spend nearly their entire paycheck on the bills that needed to be paid off. Meanwhile, Quackity could somehow buy himself so many luxuries with what he earned from gambling. It never made sense to them. Why wouldn’t he contribute some of his earnings to things that actually needed it? He wanted to brag so much about being a breadwinner of the household, so why didn’t he act like it?

Suspicion was next to arise. Quackity never told them just how much he was earning. It’s not just that. They were the only person not to know. If anyone else asked him, he’d go on and on about just how rich he was and how much he made every night. With Y/N though, he never said. It made them wonder what he was hiding. Why would he feel the need to hide it? The thought came into their mind. What if he wasn’t paying them as much as he should? What if that was the reason for his secrets?

Guilt followed that thought soon after. Why on Earth would Quackity ever do that to them? He loved Y/N. He would never lie to them about something like that.

…Right?

The sound of heavy footsteps awoke Y/N from their thoughts. Quackity slid their paycheck on the bar to them with a smirk. Y/N gave a small smile back. They went to open the envelope and paused.

“Hey… Quackity. Can I ask you something?” They managed out nervously. He met their gaze, shrugging nonchalantly.

“Sure, babe! Shoot.” He answered, pulling up a chair to sit next to them. Y/N twiddled with their fingers, nervous that they might not like the answer.

“So… why don’t you ever tell me how much you make a night?” They asked bluntly. Quackity sat next to them, stunned. He was not expecting that question, and the expression on his face said that to Y/N right away.

“Uh… well, you see, I-I don’t really discuss earnings with anyone, actually! Just something I like to… y’know, keep to myself.” He responded, scratching the back of his neck. Y/N noticed that. That action plus the fact that he wouldn’t make eye contact told them all they needed to know.

“You’re lying to me.” They stated, staring at him with cold eyes. Quackity’s head shot up to meet their gaze, his face turning slightly pink at the accusation. “You know you’re lying to me. Don’t look at me like that.” They spat at him, their anger starting to show itself.

“Woah, what is going on? I don’t know why you’re getting so worked up about this!” Quackity retorted, matching their piercing tone. Y/N scoffed at him, shaking their head.

“Oh, you don’t? You think I don’t know how you brag to all of your friends about how much money you make each night? I live in the same fucking house as you. I hear everything you say.” Y/N wasn’t yelling. Their tone stayed quiet, and that’s what scared Quackity so much. “It’s constant. The bragging. It never stops until I’m around. ‘Money, money, money!’ That’s all I ever hear anymore, but you’re not telling me! What makes you not trust me?”

“What do you… of course I trust you! I just… I don’t know, it feels weird to talk about it with you because you work here, Y/N!” Quackity shouted, standing up from his chair. Y/N stood up as well, not about to be overshadowed by him.

“Oh, so you can’t tell me, but you can tell Sapnap? Karl? They work here too, y’know, and yet, you’ll brag to them about how ‘it’s a rich man’s world’! What makes me so different? What are you hiding from me, Quackity?” Y/N pleaded. They wanted him to tell the truth. They so desperately wanted some hope that he was still the man they fell in love with so long ago. However, Quackity averted his eyes, staring down at the ground. Y/N threw their hands in the air, exasperated. “Y’know, in my wildest dreams, I had a plan. I would get a wealthy man. I thought I’d never have to work at all. I’d fool around, have a ball, but no. That’s not my life. It’s yours. While I work out here all night and day, and who pays our bills, Quackity? Me. I do, with my paycheck that barely covers it all. While you go out and spend whatever you’re making on frivolous things!”

“Okay, fine! You want the truth? I give you the fucking truth!” Quackity exclaimed, pointing a finger in Y/N’s face. “Maybe I don’t talk to you about my money because I don’t want to admit that I’m going fucking bankrupt, okay? I spent all the money I made on stupid shit or I lost bets and gambled it all away! Okay? I-I didn’t tell anyone about this! I’ve lied to everyone, and I regret it. I regret not being honest. There’s your truth.” Quackity sat back down in a chair, head in his hands. Y/N stared at him, teeth clenched.

“I can’t do this anymore.” They whispered, barely audible. Quackity looked up at them, his eyes pleading them not to go. “I-I can’t just let you lie to me for so long and get away with it.”

“Y/N, please, don’t go. Love, I’m nothing without you!” Quackity begged, grabbing Y/N’s arm gently. They pulled away, refusing to look at him.

“That’s too fucking bad.” Y/N retorted. They picked up their bag, paycheck, and apron. Y/N shoved the apron into Quackity’s hands. “You don’t need me here. It’s a rich man’s world, after all, isn’t it?” Y/N stared blankly at the man they wished they didn’t love. “I quit this shitshow, and I’m moving out tomorrow. We’re over.” Y/N walked briskly out of the casino, tears threatening to spill down their cheeks.

Quackity didn’t bother following them. He knew there was no fixing what he had done. He stared at the apron in his hands. The one that belonged to them. Y/N, the one who supported Quackity through everything. They were his ray of sunshine through the clouds. They were the one thing keeping him going. Now, they’re nothing but a memory. Hot tears spilled out of his eyes as he let out a scream of frustration and pain, letting himself sink onto his knees. “All the things I could do if I had a little money…” He whimpered. He held Y/N’s apron close to his chest, not ready to let go of the love he had lost.

‘It’s a rich man’s world.’

[mystrangerfics]

You Always Got Me

Pairing: Billy Hargrove x Reader

Description: Anon: 3 , 100 , 57 , 77 crying bill??? Thank you angle 😘

Work Count: 1953

Complete Story Warnings: Language, Sexual Themes, Violence, Suicide

You were done. So done. You had been dating Billy for almost a full year and it had not been without hardships. His relationship between him and his father had always led to him acting out and being hard to understand but you had thought moving in together would help him. It was almost like things had only gotten worse. He drank constantly, he would randomly become angry and distant. You could have gotten past all of it but when you came home to find him with another girl in your bed, you were done. 

"Baby, Baby, please?" Billy begged as you began packing a bag, his mystery woman quickly putting her clothes on behind you. 

"Please, what?!" You hollered as you ripped your bag back from his grasp. 

"I can fix this," he whimpered and shook his head. He stood before you in nothing but his jeans that he had quickly pulled on and hadn't bothered to button or zip. 

"No, you actually can't this time," you argued as you continued to throw things in your bag. 

"But," Billy whimpered and tried grabbing the bag back from you again. "We're meant for each other." 

"Then who the fuck is that?!" You screamed, pointing at the woman who darted out of the bedroom. 

"She's no one! You're the only one I want to wake up next to," he tried to pull the bag from your grasp again. 

"You sure have a funny way of showing it!" You snapped and pulled the bag back again, getting the rest of your clothes in it that you would need for now. You headed across the hall to the bathroom and Billy quickly followed. 

"You can't leave me," he brokenly whimpered, picking at your stoned heart. "You always got me." 

"I'm not doing this, Billy," you said, holding onto your resolve. "I put up with your nightmares even when you hit me or try to choke me in my sleep. Your constant mood swings where you're happy one minute and mad at me the next. I put up with your being jealous and suspicious of everything I do and everywhere I go. And now to come home to this! Go fuck yourself!" 

"I'll do better. I can do better," he pleaded as he followed you down the hall. He saw you going to the door and quickly got in front of you, holding your arms as he dropped to his knees. "Please, baby. I love you. I love you so much," he cried and buried his face against your stomach. "Please?!" 

Your eyes watered and you clamped them shut, cursing yourself. "Billy get off me," you tried and pushed at his shoulder softly. "Let me go!" 

"No! You'll leave me," he cried and looked up at you. "I'll do whatever you want. I'll fix us. Please just tell me what you want me to do?" 

"I want you to let me go," you said quietly after a moment. Billy whimpered in a pained manner before he pulled his arms from around you. "I loved you, Billy. I loved you so damn much and you just let it all go," you told him, explaining how you were feeling. "I want you out by Monday. I'm going to stay with my parents," you said after a moment, no longer able to stand his sobbing that was tearing you apart. 

"Where am I supposed to go?" He sniffled and looked up at you. 

"Maybe you can ask the girl you were fucking if she needs a roommate," you countered before walking around him, doing your best to hold onto your anger so you wouldn't break and give in to him. 

"Please don't walk out that door?" Billy begged as his heart shattered to pieces in his chest. 

You stopped at the threshold, knowing this moment would determine how the rest of your life would go. You hung your head as your eyes watered up and your chest ached with Billy's pain and your own. "Goodbye, Billy," you muttered before closing the door in time to block his loud sob. 

__ __ 

You returned to the house on Monday and debated going in upon seeing Billy's Camaro was still parked in the drive. You sighed before putting your car in park and getting out, you knew you were technically early.  You hoped he was almost done packing and that you could avoid him until he left. You walked up to the door and walked in, glancing around a bit. Boxes were half packed around the living room, Billy's items appeared tossed in without much care or thought. 

You quietly walked down the hall to the bedroom to find a box on the bed. Your eyes flared and you sniffled a little as one of Billy's denim jackets sat on top of the box. You reached out and gently ran your fingers over the material, having touched the jacket many times but you realized this could very well be the last. You looked away from it before you turned, seeing the light on in the bathroom and hearing the shower running. You slowly walked up to the door and rested your hand against it, trying to hear Billy in the room. 

There was silence for a bit and you scrunched up your eyes. "Billy? Are you okay in there?" You asked, clearing your throat a little. "Billy? Can you hear me?" You asked when he didn't respond. "Bil-?" You were interrupted as you looked down, seeing water running out from under the door. "Billy?!" You hollered and violently shook the handle on the door, banging your shoulder against it. "Billy!" You screamed again before you backed up and kicked the door. You were glad it was cheap and gave on the third kick. 

Your eyes landed on the tub and Billy laid in it, seeming to float in the water. A bottle of pills spilled over the floor and the water running over the sides. "Billy!" You tried as you quickly came over to the tub, stepping into it and hoisting his face out of the water. "Why are you doing this?" You whimpered to him as you held him against your chest and leaned back to unplug the tub, trying to drain it. You managed to fit your fingers into his mouth and pushed them to the back of his throat, wiggling them there. "Please, baby? Please?" You whimpered and when your fingers didn't work you felt for his pulse, finding a weak one. You jumped out of the tub and ran drenched through the house before getting the phone and calling for help. 

You returned to the bathroom and knocked almost everything out of the medicine cupboard that was over the sink before finding the bottle you were looking for, Ipecac. 

You crawled back into the tub with Billy, barely noticing the water still showering down on you both as you forced his mouth open and tipped the bottle into his mouth once you got off the cap. You held him to you while you waited and sobbed. You prayed he would wake up and you begged him to, hoping that in some way he would hear you. 

When you had given up and rested your head down against his drenched hair you felt him tense before hearing a loud gag. A warm, thick substance covered your chest and you looked down to see Billy was throwing up the pills. 

"That's it, baby. That's it," you quietly cooed and brushed back his hair, smiling in maddened relief. He groaned in a miserable tone before he weakly sat up and fell back on the tub. His eyes looked dazed as he stared at you, the water running over you both. 

"Did I die?" He asked, seeming confused. "Is this my heaven?" 

You sadly smiled at him and shook your head. "Billy you're going to be okay. The ambulance is coming," you explained. 

He seemed stressed at this news and looked over, eyeing the pills that were scattered across the floor, wet from where the tub had run over. "You weren't supposed to be here til later." 

"Well, it's a good thing I got here when I did. Billy, you could have died," you tried to explain, stressing the last word. 

"What do you think i was trying to do?!" He asked, making you frown. "I can't move back in with my dad. I won't," he whimpered and you frowned. 

"Billy, you could have told me. I can find somewhere else to stay," you offered. 

"I don't fucking want that either. I just want-," he said before looking down, his eyes watering. "I just want you back." You looked down when his eyes came up, searching for yours. "I know I'm an asshole and complete shit to put up with but I love you," he tried. "I haven't loved anyone like I love you since my mom and it-," he cut off and shook his head. 

You glanced back up to Billy now, he had never mentioned his mother or anything overly detailed about his childhood. He had always told you it wasn't your business and you had left it alone. 

"It scares me. But the last thing I want is for you to leave me like she did," he whimpered and looked down, closing his eyes as they burned with tears. "I just need one more chance." 

You frowned a little at him before you slowly crawled forward and rested your head on his chest, laying against his side. "You never told me about your mom," you said quietly and felt his arm wrap around your waist weakly. "What was she like?" 

Billy was quiet for a few moments before a small smile came to his face. "She was a lot like you. She believed in me when no one did. She always loved me. She was really pretty," he said, his voice breaking down to a whisper on the last word. 

"Well, wherever she is. I'm sure she misses you and she raised an amazing son," you told him, making him close his eyes and cry harder. He pulled you close to him and placed a kiss in your hair as you heard the sound of distant sirens.

__ __

Billy was allowed to come home after being under observation all night. You had stayed with him and watched him sleep, not leaving his side. When he was discharged, you were waiting outside in your car. You gave him a smile as he got in and you pulled away from the hospital. 

"So I was thinking," you told him as you kept your eyes on the road. "About everything you said and everything that has happened." You saw Billy look at you out of the corner of your eye. You stopped at an intersection and let the other cars go. "Billy Hargrove you get one more chance to turn things around and if-," you couldn't even finish your sentence before his arms were around you, hugging you tight. 

"Yes. Whatever it is, yes. I'll do anything," he told you as he kept his hold on you. "Thank you, baby." 

You looked at him when he finally pulled back a little before pressing a small kiss to his lips, making him smile. "I love you." 

"I love you too, baby. So damn much," Billy whispered, making you smile. He leaned in to kiss you again before the car behind you honked since you'd been sitting at the intersection for too long. "Fuck 'em," Billy said with a smile before his hand slipped onto the back of your neck and he pulled you into another kiss, bringing a smile to your lips.

[jessamine--lovelace]

i have nowhere else to put these so here. grishaverse au where the darkling is a woman and Alina is a closeted lesbian

they’re all queer idc

edit: this is zoyalina btw even if it doesn't seem so from the beginning

aleksandra morozova was raised amongst so much misoginy and prejudice against grisha that she wanted to gain power and make a good life for everyone like her clearly she got lost along the way lol

anyway. Alina and mal are still bffs gay lesbian alliance

mal has a comp het crush on alina and Alina on him, they get over it quickly tho

Alina is taken to the little palace, she gets an immediate crush on the darkling clearly she thinks Zoya is hot, but just admires from afar bc she s so mean and cold

the darkling is even hotter as a woman u can't change my mind

everything goes mostly like canon, the darkling seduces alina and alina is all about worshipping this powerful woman who wants to give her power. she helps alina realise she likes women, manipulates her in the process, makes her think that the darkling is the only one who could offer her security and other bullshit

the night that baghra tells alina the truth about the darkling’s plan, zoya is waiting alina at her door because she wants to confront her about how she fall out of the darkling’s good grace because of her idk. and baghra finds them both in alina’s rooms so she makes both of them leave, zoya helping alina to get lost in the country  baghra makes up a lie about how zoya went to visit her family/is in a mission so no one suspects zoya is a “traitor” except the darkling and genya who know the truth

mal is still looking for alina but he doesn't know Zoya is with her so it's a big surprise when he finds them both huddled up in a big coat together, freezing their asses off, zoya bitching about how alina better be grateful that she s helping to save her glowstick ass

Zoya calls mal alina s boyfriend exactly once before both mal and alina strongly let her know their disgust to that idea 

so yeah Zoya is a bit weirded out bc they are so close to each other and yet they're not together??? but she is kinda starting to get along with alina and maybe she s not so bad, and just maybe she starts to like her 

they find the stag blabla Zoya is taken back to the little palace while Alina and mal are taken to expand the fold or whatever the darkling has in mind

alina and mal escape and run off as in canon, except they pose as siblings in novyi zem. Mal finds a cute boy there and develops a crush but he s too devoted to keeping alina safe to risk getting into any relationship

Alina doesn't agree and makes him go on a date with the dude before everything goes to shit

the darkling comes back, takes them, Nikolai happens etc.

as soon as Nikolai gets them back in ravka, he tries to woo alina and propose to her like in canon. she s not really out yet tho she s not ready for it, not even Mal knows yet even if he suspects something from their time spend with zoya and the looks alina gave her, and the hurt look she has whenever the darkling is mentioned/she explains what the deal is with her evil plan, but he lets her take her time

Nikolai is all about flirting to the sun summoner and she s nice about it, polite, but clearly trying to get away because she s lowkey uncomfortable. declines his marriage proposal, and nikolai thinks it's because of Mal but he s wrong. mal tries to have a talk with alina about this, but alina panicks and says “he seems like your type, not mine” and mal is lost like ?? he s a prince?? and probably straight?? and he asked YOU to marry him?? 

and alina realises she is tired to keep this up, so she tells mal about her liking women. mal hugs her and she confesses that the darkling helped her come to terms with it in a way, and it messed with her and she feels shame that she fell for the manipulation

so when they're on the way to os alta, and Nikolai kisses her for the public, she just says "I like girls please never do that again or I'll use the cut on your face." as soon as they are alone in their couch and Nikolai is stunned and apologises to her a lot of shit starts to make sense for nikolai now lol

so after that tiny incident, Nikolai knows it's pointless to pursue Alina so he only keeps up his show for the public and becomes really good friends with alina and mal

nikolai would still very much like that political alliance and he sometimes jokingly tells alina “you’ll have lots of women at your feet if you become queen. aren’t you interested in that?” and alina is just done with his ass

clearly nikolai and mal hook up at some point and it's kinda awkward afterwards bc they both have a bit of a crush on each other but don't want to admit it Alina is amused

so they go back to os alta, and Zoya is there!!! and Alina literally hugs her bc she was so worried and she missed her and "I shouldn't have let her take you away, I'm so sorry I left you behind zoya" and Zoya is so surprised she doesn't respond to the hug for a while before crushing alina in a tight embrace without saying anything

everyone is a bit shocked bc Zoya is hugging Alina?? since when are they getting along??? what is happening???

they have a talk when they are alone and zoya tells alina about her aunt and how she doesn’t blame alina for what the darkling did, alina tells her about the second amplifier. they hug again and maybe some tears are spilled but that’s between them and no one has to know

they prepare and train and alina and zoya get closer and closer. mal, being the captain to alina’s guard, kinda has to stick around with her when she meets with nikolai and it’s awkward and their conversations aren’t as lively as they used to be and it lowkey breaks alina’s heart a bit and annoys her until she explodes one day when she s alone with a miserable looking mal waiting for nikolai to appear at a meeting “saints mal just talk to him”

and mal being mal just straightens his back and ignores her like a stubborn idiot which infuriates alina she totally tries to annoy him by reflecting some light into his eyes 

“i know something happened on the road between you two. you’re both acting weird. would it kill you to talk to him?” but mal doesn’t get to answer because nikolai is walking in talking about some plan, totally oblivious to what is happening. Later, after the meeting is over, alina gets nikolai alone and tries to talk to him, but he s just as stubborn as mal and tells her that there’s nothing to be done bc mal avoids him everytime he manages to get near him and got the message “my ego can’t handle another rejection”

therefore alina finds herself in need to fix this thing between nikolai and mal because the tension is getting on her nerves and she is stressed enough as it is with everything going on

little side note, the darkling still comes to her in visions and she thinks she is going insane before she starts talking to zoya about it and zoya takes in the habit of spending the evenings in alina’s rooms, both of them searching in books for more information about the amplifiers or sometimes talking. zoya isn’t soft and she never will be, but alina likes that. a lot. ANYWAY zoya is the one to come up with the plan to somehow lock nikolai and mal in a room together. they get tolya and tamar in on it too. 

alina makes sure she sets up a meeting with nikolai under a false pretext when mal is on watch. alina and mal arrive first and as soon as nikolai enters she gets up “oh saints i left the book in my rooms” and leaves before mal or nikolai can react. and then one of the twins closes the door and they can hear it being locked and then alina’s voice from the other side “we’ll let you out after you have a talk. the tension between you two is getting insufferable” 

they talk and sort things out a bit. everything gets less stressful for everyone

one night the darkling comes to alina, and zoya is about to leave. alina freezes because it’s not the darkling she sees, but zoya “she’ll never want you. i am the only one who can love you, who understands you.” it’s the darkling’s voice and alina can’t move, can’t breathe, just stares at the darkling as she takes back her own face. zoya can only see alina’s face getting paler and her expression more terrified even as the darkling disappears 

zoya tries to shake alina, calls out her name, but alina just looks at her with such a sad expression that it unsettles zoya even more. “she’s right” alina whispers, barely audible, over and over again 

“what did she tell you?! alina you can’t listen to her! she lies. she manipulates everyone, you can’t believe anything she says. it’s not the truth. anything she tells you”

alina shakes her head “you’ll never- i’m such an idiot.” tears are welling up in her eyes 

“i’ll never what?” “want me” 

and zoya freezes, just staring at alina, shocked. alina takes it wrong, she tries to put space between them, tries to run in embarassment, but zoya catches her hands, holds her still and looks into alina’s eyes. alina can’t look her in the eyes, can’t seem to find it in her to do it. “you really are an idiot if you think i would just spend my evenings and risk my ass for just any friend” and then she cups alina’s face in her palms and she kisses her. 

alina is so surprised she doesn’t respond to the kiss for a second, but then she kisses zoya back and they both just melt into each other. zoya feels a tear run down alina’s face, into her cheek and breaks away with a “don’t go soft on me now starkov” and alina laughs through her tears and goes to kiss zoya again just because she can.

wow this turned out way longer than i intended, but damn did it give me serotonin coming up with it. i just want to say that, if the darkling was a woman, the character would be more hated, but sexier and i’m alright with that. also everyone is queer because i said so. i have more zoyalina headcanons that i’ll probably post bc now i’m investedTM so come and shout about them to me i won’t mind

[fenheart87]

Name For Your Order?

My work for the @lovebugs-and-snakecharmers Exchange 2021! This goes out to @bevvydraws . Prompt was Coffee shop au! - So a coffee shop au where Luka is a singer who occasionally performs at the cafe, and Marinette is the shy barista who keeps forgetting to ask his name.

It was Tuesday, a bright and sunny Tuesday. Usually, just another day of the week except Marinette had been persuaded to swap her shift so one of her co-workers had the day free, which she did not mind at all, for two reasons. The first being that co-worker always covered when she needed it, and extra hours never hurt, but the bigger reason was one tall, blue-eyed and sweet guitarist that played at their little coffee shop on most Tuesdays. Now if she could only manage to talk to him and get his name, that way she could quit calling him ‘blue eyes’ in her head. Maybe she would ask him when he came to get his free cup of coffee, a perk that the manager gave for him bringing in more business.

Looking at the clock showed that the rush hour would be hitting soon, and Marinette checked all the cups, syrups, and other mixing items to make a list of what needed to be restocked before the rush. They never seemed to be successful in preparing for it but anything to make the miserable time easier was always a plus. Moving to the back she grabbed as many items as she could carry until Nino came in through the employee door and helped to break up the load with an empty box he found. Smiling gratefully, Marinette emptied her arms and grabbed a few things she was unable to before. She opened the door for Nino and helped to refill the items, weaving through the other employees as they were making drinks and serving pastries.

“Welcome to The Busy Bean, what can I make fresh for you?” Marinette greeted, finishing a refill of the large cups.

“I’d like a cappuccino with caramel drizzle please.”

“What size for the cappuccino?”

“Medium, I think small goes too quick and the large gets ignored when I’m playing back to back.” Oh, he was early.

“Sure thing!” Marinette squeaked, almost punching in the wrong order but correcting at the last second. She grabbed a medium-sized cup and slid to the side to write on it while her manager comped the drink for the part-time musician. Passing off the cup for someone else to make it, the petite employee moved back to the register. “Next time I recommend a chocolate swirl. it makes it even better.”

“I’ll have to try that next time. Time for me to get to work, thanks Marinette.” The musician smiled softly, just like always, and then made his way to the little stage area they had.

“Still didn’t get his name huh?” Nino teased, knocking Marinette out of her love-struck staring.

“No, and I don’t want to know from you.” The DJ shrugged with a smile and handed off another drink. It had become a thing between the two childhood friends, the mysterious singer was actually Nino’s roommate that he never really talked about by name. It was surprising but humorous and the DJ had fun, too much in the designer’s opinion, teasing her about her crush and not being able to ask him for his name.

“Okay, dudette, but you do realize I’ve been fighting not to say his name anytime we talk, it’s difficult.”

“Free macaroons and I’ll even throw in an eclair a day for Alya.” The raven-haired girl bargained with a sly smile.

“You drive a hard bargain dudette but you got yourself a deal.”

“Welcome to The Busy Bean, what can I get started for you today?” Marinette hip-checked Nino who snorted good-naturedly and moved back to his place in the hot drink line.

The lunch rush came and went, and the stress was eased by the upbeat pop songs the guitarist had been noodling together for the better part of an hour. Marinette had missed her break but was fine as she could take a longer one now that there were only a few people in the coffee shop. Deciding to whip up a similar drink but with sprinkles and roasted marshmallow, she grabbed two medium cups and made her way to the ‘Blue-Eyed Prince’ as Nino teased.

“Hey stranger, thought you could use a pick me up.”

“Well if you’re talking about the coffee then yes, not that I would say no if you were talking about yourself.”

“I uh, what?” Marinette stuttered and froze with her hand outstretched.

“Sorry, Nino has been teasing me about the coffee girls. I take it, you’re not one?I’ll ask for you to make my drinks from now on, it’s hard to play when I’m being flirted with and some girls can’t take no for an answer.” The guitarist sighed, sipping on his drink. Surprise colored his features for a moment, making the coffee worker giggle.

“I put a spin on it, I hope you like it.”

“Sprinkles,” he smiled crookedly and Marinette felt her breath catch, “I like it. Think we can make this my regular drink?”

“When I’m here yeah, I don’t usually work Tuesdays, but now a co-worker owes me and I’ll see you on Fridays to make your signature drink.”

“Cool, I shouldn’t keep you since you get paid to be here and I’m just here to vibe.“

"I had extra time on my break, at least I’m over here and not being harassed by people trying to get their caffeine fix and bugging me when I’m clearly on break at a table. I need to bring a jacket back to work so I can zip it up and not be bothered.”

“Hey I’m here until closer to six, take mine so you don’t get harassed.” He passed over a well loved leather jacket that had a hint of cologne.

“Oh I couldn’t- I mean that’s so nice but I’m so clumsy and I would spill something on it.”

“Nino talked about a friend that works here, she’s a pretty bomb designer and I’ve seen her work on his favorite jacket that she made him and the stains that Chris has put it through. If you make a mess, I have faith she’ll be able to fix it.”

Marinette squeaked as she turned red, and the musician’s knowing look, causing butterflies to run rampant in her stomach. Accepting the jacket, she hid her face and listened to his smooth chuckle.

“Alright I need to play something chill, it seems like the ladies with the short hair cuts like to their chins? They are quite uh-”

“Demanding? Crazy? Rude? A little too Bourgeois?” The shop employee rattled off after removing her face from the leather cover. “Yeah, it’s about that time because the yoga class and spin classes let out.”

“Any requests?”

“I like Jagged Stone but I don’t think they appreciate it. Maybe something mellow?” Marinette mused before Nino waved with a hand signal. “Ah Nino needs help, he’s hopeless with the swirls. Duty calls.”

“When does your shift end?”

“Supposed to be five-fifteen.”

“I’ll play Jagged for you then.”

“Awesome! See ya ‘round Rockstar!” She chirped, nearly skipping her way back to the counter. With a fist bump to Nino, he rattled off the orders that needed swirls, and the designer set to work with the same determination she had when designing for the rest of her shift.

“One caramel macchiato swirl for Rose!”

“Thanks Marinette! Oh hey, I didn’t know Juleka’s brother played here.”

“Wait, brother?”

“No way dudette, you didn’t know my roomie is Juleka’s older brother? And here I thought you knew your blue-eyed prince.”

“Juleka! Oh my gosh that’s so cute! Isn’t it?! Juleka!” Rose squealed, latching onto her girlfriend’s arm and shaking the taller girl a bit.

“That’s my brother, gross.” Came the dry reply.

“I mean if it bothers you I can back off. I don’t even know his name…” Marinette backtracked, not wanting her friend to feel awkward.

“It’s fine, just no details. I haven’t seen him in his birthday suit since we were young and took baths together.”

“Oh my God! Juleka!” For the second time that day Marinette lit up bright red, this time collapsing onto the counter and shielding herself with her arms.

“It’ll be okay dudette, when you remember to ask his name at least.”

“It’s not my fault! We get to talking and he doesn’t seem to mind my crazy runaway brain and lets me figure out my words but, like, not in a rude way. Then I get distracted by his eyes oh my God those should be illegal. And he’s just so nice and funny and talented. By the way, you didn’t tell me you told him about me fixing your hoodie!”

“Hey he’s my roomie and he asked if I got a new one. I told him the truth because you’re awesome.” The DJ shrugged with a grin.

“That’s Luka’s jacket.” Rose gasped, pointing at the leather jacket she was wearing.

“Yeah he let me borrow it, can you give it back to him for me?” Marinette passed over the jacket to Juleka who took it with an odd look on her face but remained silent.

The lack of music drew their attention to the small stage where Luka waved and then started playing a Jagged song, tossing a wink at the ravenette. Marinette flushed again, ignoring the coos from Rose and playful elbow from Nino.

“Huh. he usually hates playing Jagged’s music…”

“Really? I mentioned I liked his music but I wouldn’t have asked if I had known.”

“Go figure.” With that mysterious comment, Juleka shoved the jacket back at Marinette and pushed her towards her brother who finished up the song.

“Hey there Sprinkles.”

“Hey Rockstar, I think this is yours.” Marinette handed over the leather jacket with a shy grin.

“You know out of all the times I’ve played here the last couple of months, I don’t think I’ve ever heard you call me by my name.”

“Well, that uh might be because I don’t know it? And Nino teases me all the time calling you my 'blue-eyed prince because I get distracted by your blue eyes, they should be illegal. And you’re so nice when I’m having a bad day or just a busy day, you always smile and listen to me and don’t make me feel stupid for getting words mixed or rambling like I’m doing right now and oh my God!” She wished a hole would appear so she could sink into it.

“Well your eyes are pretty amazing too, they’ve kept me up on more than one night trying to find the music to describe them.” Her eyes met his, a soft smile present on his face, “And since I was too distracted by the pretty coffee girl to give my name, I guess I should fix that. I’m Luka, nice to finally introduce myself.”

“Hi, Luka.” Marinette smiled, the blush dying down to a pinkish color and not a full red.

“So uh would you like something to eat? I’m sure you’re tired of coffee…” Luka packed up his guitar, taking the jacket and putting it over her shoulders.

“Sure but let’s go somewhere else, the best pastries in all of Paris.”

“Wait, if you’re going where I think you’re going you had better bring me back something! I’ve got another hour left!” Nino shouted, amusing the customer he was supposed to be taking the order of.

“Maman won’t mind another mouth to feed if you just want to come over for dinner. I think it’s dumpling night?”

“Marinette you are my best friend! Sorry bro, you’ll understand when you taste the food.” The DJ joked before focusing back on the order he was punching in.

“Did I just get invited to dinner?”

“Yeah but that’s okay, you’ll have to meet my parents at some point. Juleka and Rose are already like their adopted daughters.”

“Oh! Maman Sabine dumplings?! I’m in!” Rose jumped on her toes excitedly, tugging Juleka along to follow the budding couple.

“I’ll text Maman and let her know we need to break out the other chairs and let Papa know we need another batch of macarons and eclairs.”

[adel-memes]

Alright! Blue Headcanons coming up!

Blue is actually GREAT at emotions, like he's incredible at analyzing them and figuring them out. He knows exactly what he wants and feels. He also can sense what the others feel, if they're comfortable or not. The only thing he struggles with is communicating them. It's one thing to know and another thing to speak about it. (Like in the dark temple, Red assumed that Blue didnt care about the others and that his heart was frozen because of his attitude when in reality he had full faith that they're okay and wouldn't die that easily.)

Second most likely to get emotional and cry. Red is the most emotional, but Blue is the second. He already did cry a bunch of times either when they're turning back into 1 or over Green (have you seen how happy he was when he found out Green is alive? God I love him hes so soft for them) and how upset he was hearing Shadow's last words (No I will not get over it. SERIOUSLY.. OF ALL OF THEM BLUE WAS THE CLOSEST TO CRY.... I mean I get Vi had this grief stricken regretful expression and all. But Y'all. Y'all we sleeping on Blue's reaction. Because of it I'd like to assume hes the one who worked hard with Vio to bring that purple disaster back.)

Y'all know this but I Must Repeat. Let Blue Bake or Cook. Please. Imagine the possibilities! Making comfort food for the others??? Imagine how proud and smug he is because he managed to nail it on first try. (Also imagine him wearing an apron Red made for him that says 'Get Out Of My Kitchen' ngl he probably has a specific 'cooking' outfit that he wears because he knows it might get dirty so it's important to him. Arcy loves him they both gossip a lotttt.)

Its PROVEN he can pull his hammer out of his hat. What else can he have in there? Imagine him going to the library with Vio and then when they come back he just pulls his hat and starts dumping piles and piles of books onto the floor. Imagine the scene. Imagine any passerby sees this and how confused they will be seeing one hero picking up books and the other just shaking his hat and more books fall out of it.

Hates the cold! He will wear multiple coats and no one knows why except for Red who always makes sure he has an extra scarf or hat just in case if Blue needs it. (Do I need to explain why?)

His love language is probably acts of service. He's horrible at talking and being clear with his emotions but he would totally do "small" favors for them while being grumpy over it. Like Red needs to go run errands but the others are busy? Blue is already dressed and ready to go. Green is stressed out and overworked? Blue will take over and force him to go rest. But hes going to yell 'YOU OWE ME' and Green will laugh at it. Vio getting carried away with whatever project he has and forgot to take a break? Blue will throw him over his shoulder and run away from wherever he's working and go 'BREAK TIME BINCH' and probably go eat dinner while letting Vio vent ramble about whatever stressful project he's working on. Shadow being awkward and getting more and more irritated because some guy (maybe one of the new knights who are still salty.) is being an ass to him and trying to rile him up? Blue will join in and start arguing with the guy while pushing the shadow out the room and leave.

Probably hates solo missions. He prefers having someone with him, he knows he can put up a fight and everything. But he prefers someone with him. (Dude almost died alone twice. I don't think he would be comfortable alone.)

Now bonus :^)

Blue's dynamics with everyone

Red? Sunny puppy and Grumpy cat. Sun and Moon. Fire and Water. Opposites but complementary. Probably the closest. Red knows him and he knows Red. Red probably knows him the best and knows almost all of his secrets. They went through hell and back together and went through a roller coaster of challenges (Blue going from the one who bullied Red to the one who patted his head to reassure and caught him while he fell? That's GROWTH.)

Green? Competitive 'I got 33' 'Ha! I killed 34!' 'Well I got 36! Beat that!!' duo. Battle duo. The trust between them is off the charts, Blue has too much trust in Green and has faith that the guy will always jump back on his feet. At first they were annoyed with each other, but I think after they got seperated and reunited they definitely got attached and started to lean onto each other for support. Blue saw Green couldn't face the captain and took charge (even tho after he delivered the blow he was on the floor and everyone rushed to the captain. It probably hurt him when he realized what he did.) They're all equals who rely on each other but the trust and faith between Green and Blue? The difference from before separation to after reuniting? -Chef Kiss- dont @ me.

Shadow? 'We insult each other but istg if anyone says something behind your back I will Riot. What? No I didn't fight them for you. Get over yourself they just annoyed me.' They probably bump heads A LOT. They have different POVs and different experiences, they don't see eye to eye on a lot of things and would insult each other. Sometimes they would say things that are crossing the lines and it wasn't intentional, they just got too carried away trying to win that they don't realize it. They don't really apologize either, at least not verbally. Shadow probably goes and drops neatly folded laundry and goes 'you fell asleep while taking care of these,,, no I didn't carry you to bed wtf. Anyways I tried to see what's so fun with doing laundry and it's boring but I didnt want to stop half way. I DIDNT do it because I like you or whatever Shut Up Blue.' Andddd Blue probably goes and buys an umbrella and covers Shadow's head because they thought it was gonna be a cloudy day but it's actually sunny and the dude seemed like he's gonna pass out. They probably are a bit softer when they're not in public/around the others. But even then it always ends with an awkward cough and an insult to reestablish their ~ rivalry ~ or whatever you call their friendship.

Vio? Oh my God Vio and Blue. All the best comments are from their conversations. There's always a witty comment. Always a little debate. Always a little banter. They both have different approaches to different things, but it balances out. They do clash, they would argue A LOT. But in the end of the day, Vio can help Blue with taking a step back to think things through instead of diving head first into a mess because he wanted to be a hero and Blue can help Vio with understanding and narrowing down what he wants (emotionally). I gotta say, you'd think one is a nerd and the other is a jock (I did too tbh) but let me just say. Blue is a nerd. Hes a big nerd. They're both nerds. But it's like one is a history nerd and the other is a science nerd or something. They're the kind of nerds you see in class where one got the answer as 1.76 and the other got 1.77 and theres this awkward stare down and someone going 'oh shiz the nerds are FIGHTINGGGG' or something. The only difference is how they learn. Vio can understand the text while Blue is confused, but Vio can easily help by taking and making an example in real life and draw a visual of it and Blue will quickly catch on. Same vice versa, Blue can see someone pull a difficult move/stunt or anything and can figure out how they did it while Vio is just "?????" and he can explain it to him in the "vio nerd talk" and Vio will go "OOOOH" (It confuses the heck out of everyone else.)

[thoughtfullyyoungduck]

a little jealous

A/N: this was requested by anon, I hope you enjoy, let me know what you think!

request: Could you write a fic post it chapter 2 where Richie and Eddie start dating, but then Richie starts to feel jealous of Eddie with an attractive coworker?

warnings: a few curse words, a very brief mention of homophobia, a bit of self doubt

They’ve been officially dating for two months when Eddie invites Richie to join him on a work related business party. It’s not the first one Eddie has had to go to, but up until now he had always made up an excuse so that he only had to stay for about an hour, not nearly long enough for Richie to tag along to.

The difference between this one and the others he has already been too, is that this time he needs to stay to the end. Eddie might be up for a promotion if his boss takes a liken too him, which is why he is determined to make a good impression. If Eddie gets turned down, he’ll probably leave his job and search for another one, Richie thinks, since Eddie had been going on none stop about quitting.  

Richie has been to his office before, on more than one occasion, when Eddie was so stressed he forgot his lunch, so it’s not his first Rodeo. He knows a few people that will attend, like Anisa who is the secretary on the bottom floor, Emmet who is Eddie’s coworker and works in the office adjacent to his, and Karen who is about as much a pain in the ass as Eddie’s mom, but Richie loves to fuck with her.

Anisa is his best friend in the office, well of course besides Eds, but whenever he stops by, he always leaves some form of candy on her disk, a references to the first time the two met, when Richie accidentally dropped all the candy he was planning to surprise Eddie with. It had been Halloween, and even though Eddie didn’t celebrate it, none of the losers actually, Richie still felt the need to do something. They hit it off straight after, especially when Anisa confided in him that she had never seen Eddie smile as much as when he got together with him.

Emmet is a bit of a hardass, work till he drops, party till he drops kind off guy. Full-on in everything he does, which sometime is a little of putting, but it can also cause hilarious comedy gold moments, which Richie has used multiple times in his sketches.

He’s pretty sure his winning Karen over aswell, since he has even managed to get a small smile out of her, which is a hell of a lot more than he ever got from Sonia.

The others he knows only vaguely by the nicknames he gave them, ranging from boss man to toilet man, the latter spending all his time on the toilet if Eddie is anything to go by.

Still, Richie is very excited when he gets permission from Eddie to go with him, so much so that he’s practically bouncing on his foot whilst he gets ready. Eddie is less keen on going tonight, but that has nothing to do with the fact that Richie is going.

Ever since returning from Derry, the two of them don’t go out much. They meet up with the losers, but apart from that they usually spend their time inside of the confinements of their home, either fighting over he gets the remote, cooking, working or annoying the shit out of each other.

Neither of them want to either, they enjoy each other’s company, and those of the other members of the losers club. When they do go out, they always seem to run into someone they know giving them shit about being gay. ‘Oh Eddie, I thought you were still married to your wife?’ or ‘If it isn’t the trashmount with a boy. What happened couldn’t get enough girl anymore?’

Most of them don’t mean bad, and Eddie nor Richie are ashamed of their love, they’re just tired of having to explain over and over again, so they stay in.

Work parties are the worst for Eddie, who doesn’t even like most of his coworkers to begin with, but sometimes they are mandatory, and he has no choice but to drag his ass over there.

So Eddie grumbles his way through getting ready, shaving and brushing his teeth with a stern look on his face, picking out his and Richie’s cloths. ‘There’s no way I’m letting you dress yourself, you’ll look like a walking Christmas tree.’

They lose some time while they get ready because Richie tries to cheer Eddie up a bit, by threatening to dose him in cold water, welcoming the snappy warning Eddie sends his way.

By the time they make it to Eddie’s workplace, where the party is going to be held, it’s a quarter past nine, while they were supposed to be there at nine.

This does not do any wonders for Eddie’s mood, who’s scowl turns impossibly bigger. He almost trips over his own two feet in his haste to make it inside, but before they do, he tugs Richie aside by the hem of his sleeve.

‘Please act normal, I need this job alright?’

‘My Eds, you wound me. You think I would throw away your honor just for a few laughs from a couple of lads, I could never.’ Richie’s British voice thick his words with an accent, having the intended effect. A smile tugs up the sides of Eddie’s mouth, even when he desperately tries to hide it, rolling his eyes extravagantly.

‘See that’s what I mean dickhead, don’t do the fucking British guy or I’m dumping you.’

He’s clearly joking, so Richie doesn’t dignify it with a response, though he does snort a little in amusement. ‘Sir, yes sir.’ He calls out long after Eddie has turned his back, cackling when Eddie flips him the bird behind his back. Fondly, Richie follows him through the long corridors, first turning right, then left, left again to eventually enter a massive open space, not to far from the bathroom Richie always uses when he comes to visit.

‘Hey, if you want to get out of here, just use the word salmon for whatever, than we’ll skoot on right out of here, Eddie Spaghetti’, Richie whispers inconspicuously to Eddie, trying to avoid being heard by somebody else. He hopes he succeeded, but by the looks of it, he did.

Eddie shakes his head fondly, his hand interlocking with Richie’s with a warning squeeze.

‘Shut up you idiot’, he mumbles fondly, the look in his eyes radiating nothing but love for the man in next to him.  

They spot Anisa first, the sour look on her face melting away when she sees the two of them entering. She grabs two more drinks, balancing a total of three drinks in two hands, and offers it gracefully to them.

‘What took you guys so long?’ The voice of Bon Jovi booms through the room, originating from a djs-table in the left corner, making it hard to understand what she’s saying.

‘Mister clean over here had to be completely dosed up for this occasion, I think he changed cloths like three times, isn’t that right Eds?’ to be fair though, Eddie looks horrendously handsome, it’s almost criminal. His suit accentuates all the good features of his body, which is everything, his dress shoes make a squeaking noise every time they walk over the floor, and his hair is neatly combed back, making him look even more attractive than he already is daily.

A huff is forced out of him when he feels Eddie’s elbow dig slightly into his side. Eddie glare is turned up to a hundred.

‘Do you know how unsanitary it is to not wash every day? Do you know how many germs are transferred onto your hand by just touching a doorknob? If I didn’t wash up you know statistically speaking I have a 40% change of catching a disease? You know this asshole, why would you need to-‘

He’s intercepted by Anisa; ‘you two are so cute together’, and Richie couldn’t agree more. He takes a sip of his drink; which is champagne apparently, and is seconds away from asking Eddie who his boss is supposed to be, when a man Richie has never seen around the office makes an appearance, sliding in front Eddie’s left to give him a tight hug. By doing so, he breaks the link that Richie and Eddie hands still had, rudely shoving Richie slightly back.

He frowns, but does nothing as he waits for Eddie to introduce them. Anisa, who is still standing with them, looks to be as flabbergasted as he is.

‘Eddie, look at you. Handsome as always’, the man compliments while pulling back, his eyes shamelessly raking over Eddie’s form.

Eddie laughs politely, thanking him while reaching for Richie’s hand again. ‘Yeah, good to see you to Seth, this is my boyfriend Richie Tozier’, Eddie explains when the guy, Seth, makes no move to introduce himself.

Seth forces a curt nod towards Richie, not so much as a hello. It irks Richie to no end, but this might the one Eddie’s trying to impress, and Richie is not enough of an asshole to ruin Eddie’s chances because he’s annoyed.

‘I’m going to find Emmet, I’ll see you guys later’, Anisa tells them, as she turns around and walks off, something Richie would love to be doing now too.

He stays rooted to his spot though, trying to make himself as big as possible. It must look a bit ridiculous, but he can’t help it, there’s something about this guy.

‘So, have you managed to talk to the boss man yet? The guy really likes fresh workers.’ He tries to joke, but it falls flat, and Richie can’t help but feel smug and a little sympathetic towards the guy, so he laughs a bit awkwardly. It’s better than not responding at all, he argues, but then Seth levels him with such an annoyed look that Richie can’t help but feel a little intimidated by.

He hasn’t seen that sort of look since Sonya, and for all his joking about her, he really was terrified that she would manage to convince Eddie to stay away from for good. Uneasiness sweeps it’s way through Richie’s body, the only thing keeping him slightly calm and stable, is the hand he’s holding.

Richie tries to change the subject, to distract himself from how weird he finds the guy, by asking how he and Eddie know each other.

‘We collaborate on projects from time to time, Seth works for one of our client companies.’

‘Yeah, and we wouldn’t be coming back to the same firm if it wasn’t for Eddie over here,’ he gestures to Eddie as if Richie didn’t know who the fuck that was, ‘I’ve never had a more dedicated, ambitious, articulated, clever –‘

While he continues to dish out compliments, Richie reaches his arm over Eddie’s shoulders, pulling him flush to his side. Obviously it’s wonderful to hear compliments, and god knows Eddie deserves nothing but that, but it’s quite off putting that the same guy keeps praising him at every turn, and not even acknowledges his boyfriends presence instead being rude.

Eddie response by pressing a kiss to Richie’s cheek, which is a lot of PDA for him, maybe to sooth Richie, maybe because it was an automatic reflex, either way, Richie takes a deep breath and manages to hold his tongue till the guy is finished talking.

‘Yep, that’s my Eds, nothing but the best. I’m lucky to have him.’

He looks up from Eddie’s face to smile brightly in Seth’s vicinity, not even trying to compete with him, just being brutally honest.

‘He’s just as ambitious at home by the way, you should see the poses he can bend into when we’re-‘

‘Beep beep, Richie’, Eddie’s voice, sharp as the edge of a knife cuts in. ‘Don’t you dare finish that sentence you prick. And don’t call me that.’

Richie cackles, gripping his stomach with the one hand that isn’t occupied to stop himself from doubling over, Eddie’s angry face only making it worse.

‘Why do you call him Eds? He told you he doesn’t like that.’

Richie’s head snaps back up again, and this time, he feels actual anger. It’s one thing to flirt with Eddie in front of him, or be rude to him, Richie can deal with that, at least on the outside. But insulting their nicknames? He knows for a fact Eddie only tells him to stop calling him that out of habit, Eddie having admit to that himself, but this guy had no right commenting on it.

Eddie himself seems agitated now, in a truly fashion, one that he has never used to talk to Richie, but before he can say anything, another man steps their way, extending his hand and waiting for Eddie to shake it.

‘Mister Duke, how are you sir?’ Eddie asks a little nervously, and Richie lets his arm drop down. He refuses to let Eddie be denied this opportunity by homophobia, even if he isn’t sure that the man is homophobic, he’s not ready to take any changes.

With a gesture over his shoulder, Eddie follows who Richie presumes is his boss over to a table with man who looked like they stepped right out of the TV show suits, but Richie declines to walk with him.

Eddie needs a chance to prove himself, and Richie was just going to support him from where he was standing.

For a minute, he forgets Seth is still standing with him, until he opens his mouth again.

‘You know you’re only dragging him down right?’ He asks cruelly.

Richie frowns at him, his hands closed in fists, trying to lure himself away from his breaking point.

‘He would do much better with me. What do you have to offer? Money? I’ve got plenty of that, and at least I have status. Some small town comedian who flunked at his show that one time, and still hasn’t made a comeback yet. You look about as disheveled as a homeless men, and I can’t say I see much love between the two of you. You annoy him, and you might find it funny, respectable people don’t. Leave him before you ruin him like you ruined yourself. I could take better care of him than you ever could.’

After his monologue, he stares Richie down with a cocky expression, seemingly daring Richie to respond. When he doesn’t get one in ten seconds, he trudges on, probably to on to the next person to bother.

Richie feels like all the bones in his body have turned to liquid as he struggles to stay upright. For a moment he gazes around the room in shame, because it seems like a scene from a movie where everyone looks on to the bully annihilating some nerd, as that is the exact same emotion Richie comprehends, before he realizes that everyone is caught up in their own conversation, and he too walks off, going to the bathroom.

He knows Eddie will search for him when he’s done with his conversation, but for a moment that thought is put on the back-burner as he starts to get a little faint. It takes longer than it usually does to reach the toilet door, in the meanwhile he’s had to shrug Emmet of and ignore Anisa’s callout, but none of that matters when he finally gets there.

As soon as the door closes behind him, a loud sob leaves his throat. Only one sob is allowed to leave his lips, he argues with himself, so he resumes to silent tears only after that.

Overreactor, his traitorous mind hisses at him, and he knows it’s right, but he can’t help how he feels. He survived a fucking clown alien attacking him, and even that didn’t make him cry until he thought Eddie might have died.

However, he knows that Seth had a point, Richie is really not good enough for Eddie. And maybe Seth could be, at the very least, he did have a stable job, and he thinks highly of Eddie, maybe he was right, and he should leave Eddie so he can grow to his full potential.

Some times goes by while he’s thinking it over, and in the meanwhile he has moved to wash his face by the washing bins, scrubbing the area around his eyes to make it appear like he wasn’t crying. As he’s doing this, he hears Eddie call out to him. ‘Hey dickhead, you in here?’

The door whips open, clashing against the wall with a loud bang so hard that Richie flinches for a moment. A worried looking Eddie is standing in the door opening, his tie undone atop his blazer, and his frantic eyes searching the door, calming down slightly when he sees Richie.

‘Hey, why are you taking so long, you fall in the toilet or something?’ Eddie tries, a futile attempt at ignorance, Richie can clearly see how perturbed he is, but he’s kind enough to let Richie come to him.

Instead of telling Eddie the things that are on his mind, Richie tries to force a way around the topic, by using humor and creating a joke. ‘Well Eds, I was just about to call your mom, to declare my love for her.’

‘Richie’, Eddie sighs, running a hand over his face like he’s trying to mentally prepare himself? By the tone of his voice, Richie understands that Eddie is asking him to tell the truth, to speak what’s on his mind, but that can be so hard sometimes, so in lieu of having a conversation with Eddie, Richie starts to cry.

A hand pushes it’s way up to his mouth, trying to desperately to muffle the cries of despair, shame was again white hot present in his mind. Eddie looks shocked for about a second flat, before rushing over to Richie, grabbing his neck and pushing his head against the crook of his shoulder, rubbing his own hand up and down Richie’s back, and the other one through his hair.  

‘Rich, it’s okay. You can talk to me dumbass, that’s what boyfriends are supposed to do.’

There’s nothing but silence for a few minutes, which Eddie grants Richie, just trying to get him to calm down.

‘do you ever doubt our relationship?’ Richie finally asks, feeling the way Eddie’s entire body freezes up as if he was told Pennywise was back.

Richie hurries to continue. ‘I mean, if I’d had to choose between me and Seth, I’d pick Seth too. He has a good job and I might be out of one after waiting so long to go on stage again, and I look ridicules, and I push your buttons,’ Richie takes a break to gulp in a large gush of air. ’I’m just saying, I’d get if you would want to break up with me.’

Yet, when Eddie pulls back slightly, Richie panics before letting him get too far. Eddie laughs again, still close enough that their noses are pressed together with Richie bend down the way he is.

‘Hey Rich, you’re really fucking stupid you know that?’ Eddie says with a voice so incredibly soft and fond, Richie nearly melts to a puddle. He’s still stroking curl after curl on Richie’s head, comforting him best he can when they’re in a public bathroom.

‘You’ll have a job. You’re so good at being funny Richie. Even if I don’t say that enough. Besides, let’s say you don’t, you will but just hypothetically, I don’t care about that. I only want to spend time with you. You dress like a toddler, but I like that, it makes you look goofy, just like your personality.’

With a smile that’s showing his teeth, Eddie presses a quick kiss on Richie’s mouth, pulling back fast and firing two more in rapid succession.

‘I love you Rich. Not fucking Seth, Fuck that guy. I could never want to be with him, ever. I mean it when I say I love you dickwad, despite my questionable decision, I choose you.’

Richie giggles, hearty when Eddie stands on his tippy toes to kiss his forehead, and for a moment he feels like he’s five years old. He’s glad to have Eddie, and he’s even more satisfied that Eddie wants him back. Not amnesia could stand in their way, he’s so idiotic to believe a guy from Eddie’s fucking job could.

‘Now, come on. First I have to kick Seth’s ass for making my boyfriend cry. I have to set an example here. Then we’ll go home and cuddle okay? We'll clean the salmon or whatever the fuck sentence I'm supposed to make with that and skoot on home’

Richie shakes his head negatively, ‘what about your job promotion?’

As if suddenly remembering so, Eddie grins like a cat that go the cream.

‘Don’t worry about that, I got the job.’

When they cuddle at night in their bad, after a heavy make out session, and a small skype party with the losers in honor of Eddie’s promotion, Richie falls asleep, safely knowing that Eddie was with him, and he no matter what, he wasn’t leaving.  

[baka-kawa]

Nekoma HC: simping for manager

Request | “Hello luv💗 just wanna say ur prev hcs are ✨exquisite✨ (look at me using big mature-ish words👁) Can u please do hcs for the team/s (specifically nekoma, seijoh, inarizaki. Feel free to change the teams tho,,) simping on their manager (reader) and protecting her from flirts from other schools? Hope it’s not confusing 😅 thank you sweetheart 💖💖💖

Notes | hope you enjoy this one as much :))) I had so much fun writing for these boys thank you for your request!!

Kuroo

he’s adorable

he’s so sweet to you

he knows how tough it can be taking care a group of boys on the volley team

so he’d help you out quite a bit

always has a hand in planning stuff

always there to keep you company

this boy sneaks little jokes to catch your reaction

were you even surprised he caught feelings??

you shouldn’t be

kuroo fucking loves seeing you take on the cute little mother role over the boys

he lives for it

which his jokes mainly consist of dad jokes

and not the type you think of

no

“okay kids listen to mom”

“didn’t sign up to be a dad but you kids leave me no choice”

“listen to daddy, little one” 

“kuroo stfu” -kenma

he loves referring himself as the father

he loves it even more when it makes you giggle or blush 

bitch

he one time called you mommy

and the shade of red your face became just fueled something inside of him oh my god

other than his crush

he simps super hard

but his crush just added to the flame

eventually he confesses

and his simping doesn’t disappear

he continues to put you on this throne

and has no issue putting others in their places if anyone crosses lines against his manager

Kenma

kenma doesn’t simp

ppl simp for kenma

let’s be honest

he’s a lot like Kunimi

except he doesn’t simp even if he has feelings

he’s a good boyfriend ofc

but he’s not territorial or aggressive

he does little things for you

packs you lunches

writes you cute little notes/letters

gets kuroo’s attention when the boys are being to loud when you’re trying to grab their attention

you’re his bus buddy now

he loves falling sleep against you on the way to games

but his favorite part

are the rides back home

he’s tired out from the games

you have the window seat

and he has you hold him and you both fall asleep that way

w him curled up into you

the whole team simps for you both

making sure you both aren’t having issues or arguing w one another

but yeah

kenma seriously doesn’t simp

the most simp thing he’d do is just look after you when you don’t notice

like making sure the position you’re in when you’re napping is a comfortable spot

brushing hair out of you face

he once pulled your hair into a pony tail when he noticed how hot it was in the gym

kuroo fucking died at how simply cute it was

yeah

that’s abt it for kenma

Yamamoto

mmm

this boy is a simp for literally any woman

but you’re his manager now

and all his focus is on you

he’s always looking for reasons to spend time w you

kuroo gets pissy bc he wants him to focus on practice

but instead,, Yamamoto is conversing w you abt random shit

he doesn’t have feelings for you atm

he just simps bc you’re his manager and you’re the sweetest person he’s ever met

it doesn’t take long for him to crush on you

and oh boy

his simp levels rise

he gets scolded by kuroo heavily

but he also improves in games

mainly bc he doesn’t want to lose in front of you

very good motivation

he gets the team to for a wall around you when going to comps

it makes you embarrassed to the max ffs

but he gives you no choice

he’d definitely confess

and once you two start dating

he actually becomes pretty tame tbh

he still simps a little

compliments you heavily

your personal hype man

but he isn’t behaving like a wild dog off a leash

he found that silence is far more intimidating to other men

so when other boys are hitting on you

he stands there and stares them down 

sometimes an arm of his is around your shoulders

or he holds your hand and rubs small circles into it

sometimes he’ll even give it a kiss

or kiss your cheek or forehead

you’re grateful he isn’t so crazy anymore

Yaku

he’s kinda already the mom of the group

but he loves having someone like you to take the stress off of him

he doesn’t really simp for you tbh

you simp for him tho

he found it a little weird in the beginning

like why are you always there?

usually their managers stay in the background

mainly conversing w the coach

a little bit w kuroo

but rarely w him

he finds it cute that you provide so much for the team

and thanks you w the sweetest smile when you hand him water and a towel

he’ll eventually simp after you went off on another team for shitting on nekoma

something in him just switched

seeing you get angry just looked so hot

after that occurrence he found new ways to hang out w you

he would chill w you on the bus

sit next to you on the bench when he wasn’t playing

and he’d even spend more time w you when the team has outings

he’d totally ask you on a date

and once you start dating

he’d be slightly more territorial

nothing too crazy

mainly w other guys at comps

he’d walk up to you and take your hand when he sees you in a situation that you’re visibly uncomfortable with

he’s a sweet bf

but again

he wouldn’t really simp

but his bf skills are pretty great

Lev

oh lev

this sweet boy

he’d totally simp for his manager

but in the most clumsy and cutest way

always asking if you need help cleaning or loading the truck w the supplies

and he’d end up making a bigger mess on accident

a lot of apologies

but he’s adorable so it’s easy to forgive him

when you’re being cornered by other dudes

he gets a lil upset

isn’t sure why

and kuroo has to push him to make a move

bc kuroo knows what’s up

“hey lev, y/n was asking for you.”

so he’d walk over to you and see what’s up

you’d get an idea to escape

“hey baby”

fuck dude

lev almost fainted

hearing that name come out of your mouth

he wasn’t aware he had feelings until now

his cheeks reddened

“h-hi-”

the dudes that were trying to make a move weren’t buying that he was your bf

“you don’t believe me?” -you

you mentally apologized to lev as you pulled him down and your lips met

wtf did you just do?

lev was shocked but knew the situation now and pulled you close

figured he’d take advantage of the situation and kiss you back

when you pulled away

the guys were gone

nekoma were wide eyed

and so were the two of you

lev wasn’t shaking as much

but you were

he felt it through his hands on your waist

you apologized profusely

but he was like

nono its okay

and when you kept rumbling he had no idea what to do

he caught a glimpse of kuroo

and he told lev to kiss you again

so he did

and it did the trick

he simps as much as he did before

the only difference is that you two are official

and no one dares to mess w you or disrespect you bc of lev’s appearance

even tho he’s not aware the power he holds

but yeah

hope this was cute :))

sorry if you wanted them to simp platonically

[rennyforpresident]

Renny’s BBSim: First Boots Week 7

Welcome back to Biiiiiiiiiig Brother!

@ashleaevans @bathroom-sand @kaysarswhore @kayysarridha @kelleekim @lahallucinations @maxdoesbb @misshoh @music-obsessednerd @nerdphobic @nomwastaken @pawn2393 @phylisisley @remember-caltoru @rennyforpresident @shaolinbynature

Previously, @lahallucinations was backdoored by @kaysarswhore, who managed to pull off another HOH win and secure her spot in the game. But power is back up for grabs, so will this finally be the week her number is up?

After the vote, @phylisisley pulls @shaolinbynature into the bathroom and violently whispers at her

@phylisisley: “Why did you flip?? I fucking know it was you, don’t even try to deny it!”

@shaolinbynature: “I needed to flip it up! You know she was done for anyway! Why are you so mad!?”

@phylisisley: “Because now I look like a dumbass in the minority! I need a fucking minute”

@phylisisley: “I can’t keep up with @shaolinbynature‘s antics anymore. I want to work with him, but if he can’t keep me as his number 1, I just don’t feel that protective of him anymore…”

After that heartbreaking fight, the HOH competition is next!

This one’s not for the weak of heart or stomach! All of the houseguests take their spots in the tub. The first thing to be dumped in is spaghetti noodles

@kelleekim immediately gets out

@kelleekim in the DR: “I’ve thrown almost every comp that I’ve been in; this one is no different! I just had to make it look like I was grossed out!”

After dumping in pig’s blood, pudding, and hardboiled eggs, three houseguests collectively agree to step out

They just couldn’t take the heat, and all dropped out at the same time.

When it’s announced that live worms will be next, two more fall victim to losing

Which means

Will @nerdphobic finally pull his weight for his alliance? Or will @phylisisley finally secure her first comp win? Or, @shaolinbynature could win and redeem herself from last week’s loss. What’s gonna happen?

After an hour in the tub, @shaolinbynature promises both of them safety for the week. She swears on her parents’ lives that she’ll be true to her word. Knowing she’s in no danger, @phylisisley stands and gets out

Shortly after, @nerdphobic steps out too. Which means…

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@shaolinbynature! You have secured your safety for the week and earned the right to nominate two of your fellow houseguests for eviction! 

@shaolinbynature in the DR: “I am HYPE! I needed this win, and I hope this will make it up to @phylisisley that I lied to her about the vote. This week, we’re going hunting for sharks!”

@shaolinbynature gets the key and hugs @phylisisley, whispering “I’m so sorry” into her ear while she does. It seems the two have made up for now

At the nomination ceremony, @shaolinbynature has plenty of options. But who will end up taking a seat in the block chairs?

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@shaolinbynature: “I have decided to nominate @kaysarswhore and @remember-caltoru. @kaysarswhore, you said it last week: turnaround is fair play. You put me up, I’ll put your ass there too. @remember-caltoru, you’re mostly a pawn, but you’re also up there because I have no idea where you’re at in this game. I’m worried you’re playing both sides, but I’m not certain yet. Either way, good luck in the veto, and this nomination ceremony is adjourned.”

@kaysarswhore in the DR: “I mean, is anyone surprised? I’m really getting tired of this back and forth, though. One of us needs to go, and next week, I’m confident that’ll be @shaolinbynature“

@remember-caltoru in the DR: “This is my first time being nominated, and I’m a little nervous about it. I mean, I know that @kaysarswhore is obviously the bigger threat, but @rennyforpresident went home against her! It’s stressful!”

Now, it’s time to pick players for the veto competition!

@shaolinbynature draws her recently reconciled BFF @phylisisley to play! And in more dramatic news, @kaysarswhore picks her biggest nemesis, @ashleaevans, to play. This is what she looked like as he walked to the front of the living room

Lastly, @remember-caltoru picked fellow member of the Fearsome Four to compete, @misshoh

All of the houseguests split up and each work on their individual mobile. Right off the bat, it’s clear that two of these houseguests are going to struggle the whole way through

It looks like @phylisisley is doing well at the start, but then drops ball and loses all of her progress! She never recovers from this setback

The competition is tight, but one houseguest manages to pull ahead and win…

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@ashleaevans! You have won the Power of Veto!

@ashleaevans in the DR: “I finally won something!! And now I can use this to make sure that @kaysarswhore finally goes home!”

At the veto ceremony,

@ashleaevans: “I finally won a competition, and as much as I’d like to make a big move with it, the biggest threat is already up on the block. So…

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Nominees are LOCKED!

That night, @kaysarswhore was showing @remember-caltoru her famous salad recipe. Just as the two were almost done cooking,

@remember-caltoru: “Shit! I bumped into the stove and started a fire!”

The fire is put out pretty quickly, but everyone is very annoyed with @remember-caltoru for the inconvenience. Can we go one goddamn week without burning down the house?

@kaysarswhore in the DR: “This is all going to plan! I need this house to hate @remember-caltoru so that they keep me around longer! *evil laughter*”

Continuing with her plan to get votes on her side, @kaysarswhore goes to @nerdphobic to campaign, but ends up having a real heart to heart

The two talk for a solid hour and a half about their favorite moments from the latest season of Supernanny. The two leave feeling closer than they ever have before. 

But even after all this work, @kaysarswhore still feels like she doesn’t have the votes. So, she decides to go out with a bang. She’s flipping a bed.

But not just any bed.

No.

She’s flipping the HOH BED!

@kaysarswhore convinces @shaolinbynature to let her use her bathroom, and once she’s alone inside, she gets the mattress up and out and over the railing, slamming it down into the kitchen. It almost lands on @shaolinbynature and breaking his arm!

The two get into a heated argument, where @shaolinbynature even calls for @kaysarswhore‘s expulsion, but she’s reality TV gold, so that’s never going to happen on Grodner’s watch. The two eventually settle down, and @kaysarswhore goes to sleep knowing she got the last laugh.

But there’s more to this house than strategy and fighting. In the HOH room the next night, once they managed to get the mattress back upstairs,

The two, who had been friends from the start, finally feel comfortable and alone enough to confess their true feelings for each other. In tears at the terrifying prospect of a showmance on national television, both of them comfort each other until they feel like their bond has never been stronger.

Across the house, in the Have Not room while everyone is asleep or outside, another secret relationship is developing

@pawn2393: “No one can ever find out how much I really like you. @kaysarswhore and @nomwastaken would KILLLLL me”

@ashleaevans: “Well that’s why, when we vote her out this week, we’ll be good! No worries until then!”

The two continue talking until they fall asleep, strengthening their secret bond.

The next day is EVICTION DAY!

Arisa: “Hello everyone! We have a big night, so let’s get straight to it!”

@kaysarswhore: “Hello again from the block! I have faith in my alliance, and I ask all of you to please not send me to jury with @lahallucinations, because she’ll rip into me! I sent her home! Keep me around, let me play, let’s have some fun!”

@remember-caltoru: “I also have faith in my alliance, and I hope all of you make the logical decision tonight! It’s game suicide to keep her in the house any longer, it makes no sense! She’s a beast, and she will walk away with this win if you don’t take your shot now. That’s all!”

Arisa: “Let’s vote!”

Of course, @ashleaevans is voting out @kaysarswhore. He’s tired of this rivalry and wants it to END! But it looks like he may not get that wish, because @kaysarswhore‘s campaigning worked really well.

The rest of the six votes all fall in favor of @kaysarswhore. Even @phylisisley votes out @remember-caltoru, saying “I just need @shaolinbynature to know what it feels like to have the vote flipped on her, even if it doesn’t matter. I’ll never do it again, but I wanted to return the favor”

Arisa: “Remember, when I reveal the name of the evicted houseguest, they will have one minute to gather their belongings, say their goodbyes, and exit the Big Brother house”

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Arisa: “Come on out, @remember-caltoru!”

Arisa: “What happened? Wasn’t this supposed to be an easy vote?”

@remember-caltoru: “It was! I have no idea what went wrong, I’m still in shock right now.”

Arisa: “Why do you think your alliance chose @kaysarswhore over you?”

@remember-caltoru: “Honestly, it was probably the comp wins. She had an edge over me, and I guess they felt like they could rely on her to keep the power on their side. They were STUPID to do that but they did!”

Arisa: “We are so sorry to see you go, but stay right there.”

Arisa gathers the houseguests back in the living room for an announcement.

Arisa: “Tonight, @remember-caltoru is not the only houseguest going home. That’s right, it’s DOUBLE EVICTION NIGHT!”

The houseguests are all floored, but head to the backyard for the HOH competition.

@phylisisley and @ashleaevans keep getting correct answer after correct answer, but in the end, the winner is…

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@ashleaevans! You have secured your safety and earned the right to nominate two of your fellow houseguests for eviction! And because we’re on a time crunch, I’ll need you to make those nominations now.

@ashleaevans: “This decision isn’t hard for me, I know what I need to do. The two of you are coming after me, and stopping me from playing the game I want to play (He steals a glance at @pawn2393 when he says that). I have decided to nominate…

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Neither of the two of them are surprised, but this is the first time @kaysarswhore is feeling the heat. Of course, everything is riding on the veto

It looks like this veto is the Block Destoyers vs. @ashleaevans!

Another elimination style competition means intense gameplay! After a quick-fire version of this competition, the winner is…

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@kaysarswhore! And again because of the time crunch, we need your decision now!

@ashleaevans: “I didn’t want to have to name a replacement nominee, but you are the person who’s closest to @kaysarswhore. You’ve also been flying way too far under the radar for my comfort. I’m sorry, but…

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Arisa: “Nominees are finalized! Let’s hear those last chance pleas!”

@nomwastaken: “I have been nothing but loyal in this game, and I know that I have the loyalty to continue. Keep me and know that I am on your side. That’s it.”

@nerdphobic: “I have never once thought of backstabbing my alliance; I can’t say the same for @nomwastaken. I’ve only been under the radar because I can’t win a comp to save my life. Please keep me here. Please.”

Arisa: “It’s clear that both of you are stressed, so let’s get to this vote and end it!”

The votes are tied up so far! @kaysarswhore, even though she has a close bond with @nerdphobic, knows her chances of going further lie with @nomwastaken​. @pawn2393​ feels the same. @misshoh​ makes the hard call to vote out her number 1 @nomwastaken​, saying “I just can’t win against you in the end” through lots and lots of tears. @kelleekim​ feels like @nomwastaken​ did him wrong in a past life and is happy to vote him out. How will the showmance vote?

Before the vote, both of them discussed and agreed to split their votes! They wanted to make the big alliance sweat, and put @ashleaevans​ in the hot seat at the same time. 

So we have a TIE!!!!

Arisa: “Houseguests, the votes are in. We have a tie. @ashleaevans​, when you’re ready, please stand and cast your vote to evict.”

@ashleaevans​: “I am going to cast my vote for the bigger threat, and I need to do what’s best for my game. I have decided…

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Arisa: “It’s official, @nomwastaken​ you are evicted. Come on out!”

Arisa: “The DE casualty! What happened?”

@nomwastaken​: “I have no clue! I have no idea why these people voted to keep @nerdphobic​ over me!”

Arisa: “What do you think is going on in that house?”

@nomwastaken​: “I think a lot of secret deals are going on, probably involving @nerdphobic​. How else would I go over him??”

Arisa: “It is a shame to see you go, but we’ll see you back here on finale night when you will help crown a winner!

Now that there are only 8 left, the game only gets hotter! From outside the Big Brother house, I’m Arisa Cox, and remember, someone is aaaaaaalways watching!”

@remember-caltoru​ and @nomwastaken​ you LEGENDS I’m so sorry you left like this, this episode was MESS to write bc I never saw anything coming

[moonstruckwytch]

So I was inspired by @birkholtzlovebot posting her first fic the other night and I accidentally wrote 4k of nurseydex their senior year after the first loss with Dex as captain. No one has read it but me and it’s mostly unedited but I enjoyed writing it and figured the hivemind would like to read it... so.... 

Full fic under the cut because like I said it’s 4k and no one needs all of that on their dash

Dex’s weekend is not off to a great start.

 Samwell’s first loss with him as captain happens on Friday night in Boston. It’s not even a close game. Sure, they shut out BU’s team in the first period, but then one of their guys took out Tango and that knocked Whiskey off his game, and the next thing Dex knew he was walking back to the locker room and they’d lost 4 – 0.

He’s worried about Chowder. Hopes that he knows it wasn’t his fault. Needs him to know that. Dex knows it’s his fault. He’s the captain and he’s responsible for the team. He should have kept it together and kept BU away from C entirely. Walking back to the bus back to their hotel he can practically hear Jack’s voice in his head telling him that’s not true, but the nasty comments coming from his own internal voice are louder.

He really should rally the team, give some kind of pep talk, but he can’t bring himself to. So instead he sits silently on the bus, headphones in but not playing anything, until Nursey appears next to him. Ford walks past, gives him a sad smile, and when she and Nursey nod at each other Dex thinks it’s going to be a long evening.

Nursey, blessedly, leaves him alone on the 15 minute ride to the Marriott, or Hilton or whatever chain they’re staying at, and Dex pulls himself together long enough to hand out keys with Hall and Murray, who really don’t seem any more disappointed in him than usual. Eventually he’s alone in the lobby, holding the key to his own room, and Nursey’s gone ahead with Chowder, even though they’re staying in the same room, so Dex turns to his coaches.

“I’m sorry –“ he’s got more, but Hall cuts him off.

“Dex, you all played a good game. There’s nothing for you to apologize for. Not to us, or to the boys.” Murray nods in agreement, clapping him on the shoulder.

“Go take a shower and get some sleep. You’ll feel better in the morning.” Murray’s tone brokers no argument, and his eyes are sympathetic, so Dex nods to the two of them before heading to the elevators alone, still feeling the weight of the loss on his shoulders.

When he gets to the room and lets himself in, his first step is to drop his overnight bag at the foot of the bed closer to the window. Technically it’s the bed Nursey prefers, and usually Dex lets him have it, but he wants to be as far from the door as possible tonight. If Nursey were here it might be an argument, or he might just let it lie, a concession to the fact that Dex just lost his first game in charge of the team. He texts Nurse and C to let them know that he’s in the room and gonna take a shower, so Nursey either needs to come back now or in 40 minutes.

About 30 seconds elapse before there’s a knock on the adjoining room door he didn’t notice was there. When he swings it open, he’s face to face with Derek M. Nurse, and if that would usually be enough to set his heart racing, it’s not doing much tonight.

See, on top of the responsibilities of being captain, the stress of senior year as a comp-sci major, and the sheer terror of figuring out what comes after graduation, Dex has a less-than-small crush on Nursey. He’d come to this realization sometime over the last summer (just after Nursey waved goodbye at the South Station Amtrak stop when Dex dropped him off in May if he’s being honest with himself) and has been managing it ever since. Their friendship has gotten better – he feels comfortable calling them best friends now even – but he’s pretty sure the revelation of his feelings would send everything crashing right back down to where they started.

So, while Dex has a massive crush on his d-man partner, and usually being just inches from his face would turn him into a blushing, stammering mess, nothing is getting through the fog of the game just yet. He leaves the door open, ad goes to take his shower, leaving Nursey standing where he is.

He steps into the shower and turns the temperature as hot as he can get it to go, and if he cries a little under the water, no one else needs to know about it. And 40 minutes later, he feels cleaner. Not any better, but at least he doesn’t smell like game sweat and his gear anymore. Throwing on an old t-shirt and a pair of Samwell sweats, he remerges into the room and finds Nursey and Chowder on the bed closer to the door, both with wet hair and wearing similar t-shirt and sweat combos. Chowder has his Sharks hoodie on.

Nursey looks up at him, smirking.

“Finally,” he says “me and C both managed to shower in his room with how long you were taking. I thought we might have to save you from drowning.”

When Dex doesn’t respond to the chirp, doesn’t even tell him to ‘fuck off, Nurse’ his face goes softer. And maybe Dex wants Nursey to look at him like that sometimes, but right now it just makes him feel fragile.

“Hey, are you okay? You know how that went down wasn’t your fault.” Nursey is speaking softly, like he’s trying not to spook Dex, and that, that just makes Dex mad. But when he turns, rounds on Nursey with something sharp on his tongue, he finds the concerned faces of his two best friends in the whole world looking at him and he just, breaks down.

Dex sits down heavily on his bed for the night, trying to take steadying breaths that he can hear come out shaky and ragged, too loud in the now very quiet room.

Immediately Chowder is at his side, pulling him in tight for a hug, leaving no room for Dex to even move his arms to hug back.

“Dex! Dex it’s okay. It’s not the first time we’ve lost, and it won’t be the last. We can’t win every game. I’m sorry I didn’t block more of their shots.” He sounds frustrated with himself at that last part.

Chowder’s earnestness is endearing, and it would be easier to let it lie, but the loss isn’t his fault, and Dex can’t let him think it is.

“’S not your fault C. I lost control of the situation. I should have been more on top of it, done my job as captain.”

And at that, Nursey comes over to his other side. He seems less than sure of how to fit himself into this equation, eventually settling for resting an awkward hand on Dex’s shoulder. Fleetingly Dex worries that Nursey isn’t comfortable with his breakdown, and for a moment that comingles with a wish that Nursey would hug him the way Chowder is, which is just even more pain on top of an already bad night, so Dex shoves that to the side and figures he’ll deal with that later. When he tunes back into the situation around him again, Nursey is talking.

“Dex…” Nursey’s tone is soft again. “you’re not responsible for how the whole team plays. If BU hadn’t taken out Tango Whiskey still might have had an off day. It’s not your fault.”

And then Dex remembers Tango, slammed into the boards by a dude half a foot taller than him. He’d been helped off the ice and not allowed back into the rink for the rest of the game.

“Oh god, Tango. I didn’t even ask if he’s okay.” Dex groans, feeling worse by the second.

“It’s okay. I checked on him already. He’ll be fine, no concussion or anything.” Nursey soothes.

Dex swipes at his face, not wanting to let the tears pricking at his eyes fall. He knows neither of his friends will judge him if he cries, but old habits die hard and he’s never been one for public emotions other than anger. Call him repressed if you will, he’ll admit it. He presses the heels of his hands into his eye sockets, hoping that will help. He doesn’t know how long they sit like that.

Chowder and Nursey seem to be having some sort of silent conversation above his head, and the next thing he knows Chowder is pressing a soft kiss to his hair and unwinding his arms from around Dex’s shoulders.

“I’m gonna go call Cait,” he says. “You should get some sleep, Dex.” He gives a pointed look to Nursey and leaves their room, the adjoining door shutting with a click.

Without C’s arms around him, Dex feels suddenly cold, and the room seems even more silent, his sniffling attempts to not cry that much louder. Nursey moves away from him and his heart sinks, fearing more proof that Nursey was only comforting him because Chowder was there, but he’s back in a moment. Dex hears the TV turn on and listens as Nursey flips through channels until landing on some late-night program on the history of space travel, turning the volume down low. They sit in silence for a while, listening to a monotone man drone about shuttle specs and astronaut fatality rates.

“Hey. Let’s get you into bed.” Nursey says suddenly, pulling the covers down on Dex’s bed and putting a hand on his back until he shifts so he’s sitting in the middle. Dex thinks this is going to be the end of the interaction, but then he sees Nursey grabbing the pillows off his own bed, and the blanket he always brings with him on the bus.

“Move over Poindexter,” he says, continuing with “you’re not crying yourself to sleep alone tonight. Move.” And climbing into the bed next to Dex.

“Ah, fuck.” He says immediately after he’s settled, climbing back off the bed and padding to the door to turn off the lights. Now the room is illuminated only by the glow of the TV, and when Nursey climbs back into the bed, he slips and arm around Dex’s shoulder and settles them both against the mountain of pillows he’s created behind them.

Dex goes willingly, decidedly not thinking about how he’s got his arms wrapped around Nursey’s torso, his head on Nursey’s chest, their legs tangled together. He’s not thinking about the fact that Nursey is slowly rubbing circles into his side with one hand and carding his fingers through Dex’s hair with the other. He’s not thinking about any of this, because he’s too busy crying into Nursey’s t-shirt.

Incrementally he settles down, slowly, rough sobs fading into sniffles, into low hiccups which eventually also die out. And then its just the sounds of their breathing mingling with the history channel, and Dex still doesn’t feel better necessarily, but he does feel a little calmer.

Nursey’s voice is still soft when he asks the question, almost like he’s scared of what Dex’s answer might be. “Do you want me to stay here tonight, or get back in my own bed?” Dex just wraps his arms tighter around Nursey in response, not trusting his mouth and his brain to work together well enough to avoid telling Nursey how he feels here and now.

He falls asleep like that, Nursey’s warm arms still around him.

---------------------------------------------

When Dex wakes up the next morning, much more sun is coming through the windows than there should be. He groans and reaches for his phone before registering the fact that his pillow is Nursey’s chest, and Nursey’s arms are solidly wrapped around him, holding him where he is. The next realization is that Nursey is also awake and watching him. That fact will have to be tucked away for examination later.

“Nursey… what time is it?”

“Good morning to you too Dexy. It’s about 9:30 right now. I figured you could use the sleep.”

Dex groans. “We missed the bus. I lost my first game as captain and we missed the bus. Hall and Murray should just replace me now.”

Nursey’s arms tighten around him for just a split second. “I wouldn’t worry about that if I were you.”

“What… what does that mean?”

Before Nursey can answer the (very good, very reasonable) question, a knock from the adjoining door, and Chowder’s voice.

“Nursey? Are you guys up? We’re coming in!”

“We? Who is we?” Dex asks, but he doesn’t have to wait long before he finds out. Chowder pops his head into the room and is immediately followed by Lardo.

“Dude” she greets him “rough night.” She nods to Nursey, a knowing look in her eye, and only then does Dex realize that he is still in bed with Nursey holding him. He extricates himself as gracefully as possibly, pointedly ignoring the pout Nursey gives him, and goes to hug the former manager.

“What are you doing here?” he asks.

“C texted me. Told me that you’d lost, and it was your first. I called Hall and Murray and convinced them to let me keep you three for the day, with the promise that I’d have you back on campus by 5 tonight.”

“I still… what?”

Lardo looks at her phone. “I’d love to give you a deep explanation, but we’re going to be late if you don’t hurry up, so get dressed. Come on C.”

As she heads to the door, she looks back. “We’re getting brunch. It’s not Jerry’s but it’s almost as good. You have 15 minutes.”

With that, Lardo and Chowder head out to wait in the Lobby, and Nursey and Dex prepare to face the day.

Face washed, teeth brushed, and wearing everything except something warm, Dex regards his captain’s hoodie with suspicion. He’s still not sure he deserves to wear it this morning, and he could just ask to trade Nursey for the day. But while he’s considering, Nursey takes it from his hands and sticks it over his head, looking almost unbearably fond when Dex’s face reappears through the collar. Yet another thing to think about later. Once Dex has his arms situated, Nursey pats him on the chest right above the C and grabs their bags.

When they meet Lardo and Chowder in the lobby, they’re herded out to a familiar looking jeep, which Dex is pretty sure belongs to Holster. Something about Lardo being in charge for the day feels calming, and he feels a little more settled in his own skin, though he’s still concerned about how the rest of the team is handling the loss.

A five-minute drive and a little bit of Nursey’s infuriatingly upbeat music (who on earth handed him the aux?) later, they’re parked outside what looks like the Boston version of Jerry’s. This is to say that it looks like it’s seen better days, might have margaritas on the menu, and definitely does the sombrero thing on birthday’s despite the fact that it’s not primarily a Mexican restaurant. Dex see’s a couple familiar faces waiting for them.

“Brahs!” Shitty is emphatic as ever, pulling each of them into a tight hug that somehow smells residually of weed, despite the fact that Dex has been around him long enough to know that he’s totally sober at the moment. For one, he’s fully dressed, though that might be a condition of the fact that they’re going to a restaurant. Holster and Ransom offer him fist bumps and matching commiserating smiles, and he wants to ask how they dealt with their first loss, but he’s being herded, along with the rest of them, into the place by Lardo.

They end up at a round table booth. Dex is squished between Ransom and Nursey, Holster to Ransom’s other side, and Chowder, Lardo and Shitty on the other side of Nursey. It would feel claustrophobic with anyone else, but this is his team, his group. The only people missing are Jack and Bitty. He says so and Shitty laughs.

“Not by their own choice you know. Bitty threatened to cancel the photoshoot for the book he’s working on, and very nearly convinced Jack to take off from practice to be here.”

Dex looks at him aghast.

“We told him not to under any circumstances” Lardo pipes up from behind her menu. “But don’t be surprised if you get a phone call from both of them this evening. They’re worried – and Jack wants to talk to you.”

Dex isn’t entirely sure he’s prepared for that phone call, but it will be nice to hear from both of them. He then decides it’s now or never and turns to Ransom and Holster.

“What did you guys do when you lost your first game as captains?” he asks, because honestly, he isn’t quite sure he remembers.

“Called Jack to freak out.” Ransom says casually. “Dude was captain for 3 years, plus the Q, and the stuff with the Falcs. He knows a thing or two about losing.” Holster looks a little less pleased, but Dex knows that his rivalry with Jack is mostly superficial.

“Once we talked to Jack, we sorta just, watched sitcoms” Ransom continues. “Put together a list of the best episodes of Holster’s favorites and stayed in the attic for the day.”

Dex nods. That, makes a certain amount of sense actually. Holster jumps in.

“You probably remember Bitty sort of corralling you all that day, and stress baking. He dealt with you guys so we wouldn’t have to.”

Dex thinks about that, and hopes that Ford, Tango and Whiskey are managing the rest of the team. Especially because Nursey and Chowder are here with him. Almost as though reading his brain, Nursey speaks up.

“Just got a text from Ford. Everyone is fine. Whiskey is making muffins with Tango, and Tricky and Marsh want to know if you’re okay. Hops and Bully say hi.”

“The team will get it. First loss as captain feels like a bigger deal than it is. You feel responsible. But it’s really not your fault.” Holster says.

Chowder pipes up. “Remember how Bitty packed off to Providence the day after he lost that first game?”

Nursey presses his knee against Dex’s. “The point is, we’ve got your back, Dex.”

The rest of brunch passes in a blur. There’s eggs and hash browns, and a cinnamon roll that Dex is pretty sure is bigger than his head. Shitty orders something sweet that probably has too much alcohol in it for a Saturday morning, and they laugh, and joke and it feels like home for a while. A couple hours later the checks have been dealt with, and they’re getting ready to go their separate ways. Dex feels lighter than he has in the past 12 hours, and that’s in no small part due to the fact that he’s just missed these people. It might also have something to do with the easy way Nursey threw his arm around Dex’s shoulders in the diner, or how their knees stayed pressed together under the table.

On the 30-minute ride back to Samwell, Chowder and Lardo chat up front while Nursey sits with Dex in the back. Dex is quiet, happy to just listen to his friends and bask in the moment, but he is acutely aware of the way Nursey has inched his hand closer to Dex’s own until he’s grabbed it completely. Dex hopes he isn’t bright red at this, but doesn’t say anything – too busy running the morning through his memory, thinking and overthinking waking up in Nursey’s arms, and the fact that Nursey was just watching him.

Lardo drops them at the Haus, and after they’ve hugged her goodbye, the three of them head inside. The kitchen has cleared out except for Ford, who just nods to them, and looks pointedly at Nursey. Nursey shakes his head in response, and Dex isn’t going to press what that means at the moment. Instead he grabs Nursey’s wrist and pulls him down to the basement bungalow, and if Nursey seems surprised by this, he doesn’t say it.

“Do you mind staying? Do you have time?” Dex asks, realizing that he didn’t ask before taking up Nursey’s time.

“For you I’ve always got time, Dexy.” Nursey replies, smirking, but there’s something warm behind his eyes that Dex hasn’t noticed before. He glances to the bed, and produces his laptop from his bag.

“Movie?”

“Sure.” Nursey shrugs, and climbs up onto Dex’s bed, settling like he belongs there, and oh fuck Dex should not let his brain go down that road. Nursey looks over to see Dex staring, and pats the bed.

“You gonna join me here or stand there and stare?” and then Nursey fucking winks.

“Are you hitting on me?” Dex asks, before he can stop himself. Fuck fuck fuck fuck no don’t ask that, his brain practically screams at him.

“Nice of you to finally catch on.” Nursey laughs, and his eyes light up. “Now are you gonna join me or not?”

“Finally catching on? What?” Dex is frozen in place, not sure how to process the sudden left tilt his world seems to have taken on.

“Oh, I don’t know Dex. I’ve only just slept with you last night, spent all of brunch trying to make you laugh, and held your hand the whole way back from Boston. And that’s just the past 24 hours.”

Dex tries to cast his mind back over the past month or so, trying to see if there’s a pattern he’s missed in Nursey’s behavior. Has he been so caught up in making sure Nursey never found out about his feelings he completely missed them being reciprocated? There was the time Nursey brought him coffee in the comp-sci lab, for a full week when he was pulling all nighters trying to get ahead early in the semester. The time Nursey stole his hoodie and wouldn’t give it back. The time, times, Nursey has made sure he actually eats when he gets lost in a code, so focused that if Nursey puts something in his hand and tells him to eat it, he will. He’s lucky Nursey hasn’t taken advantage of that to comedic effect. There’s more he’s sure but that seems to be enough proof to him, and he’s been standing here staring at Nursey with an open mouth for too long already. Dex scrambles for something eloquent to say to respond, but what comes out instead is.

“Can I kiss you?”

Now it’s Nursey’s turn to freeze. It’s a much shorter moment than the one Dex had, and he covers admirably well, smirking and replying with “I thought you’d never ask.” Before patting next to him on the bed again.

Dex doesn’t waste any time with that, climbing up next to Nursey and getting in his space. Once they’re face to face however, he’s not really sure what to do. It’s Nursey who leans in first, tilting his head to meet the angle Dex is at, grabbing one of Dex’s hands with his own, the other coming up to gently cup Dex’s jaw. Once their lips touch Dex feels a little like he can breathe again, and it’s slow, and soft, and overall, just, nice. It’s not Dex’s first kiss, not even his first kiss with a boy, but it’s certainly the one that’s felt the best so far. When they eventually break apart, he’s pretty much ready to keep doing just that for the next month.

“So. Movie?” Nursey asks, smirking at the blush Dex can feel spreading across his face, heating up his ears and flushing down his neck. Dex takes a breath and decides to be brave, however.

“I think I’d like to just do that again if you don’t mind.” He says, and Nursey blushes this time, nodding and already leaning in.

Dex’s weekend did not start out great. But it’s certainly getting better.

[anteroom-of-death]

Life, For Dummies p6

a/n: so the words just flew out and boy. much thanks to all who read and commented and reblogged/liked! im sorry ahead of time! it will get uptempo again.optimism, babes.

You stood in the console room in wait, you had no clue the punishment that lay waiting. You didn’t know what was going to happen and that was worse than knowing. There had to be worse consequences for a consummate freak out that bordered on betrayal. 

For a snap you thought of just reverting back to being her companion just to smooth things over. To stop all the madness that was bound to ensue. But you didn’t. You held your ground, despite having to run away. 

You shivered involuntarily. You felt like a freezer that happened to be left open all night. You let yourself be crippled by everything. Seeing them left you blindsided, if you were a quarterback it’d have been a sack at the tenth yard line. 

Did that make the Master the coach?

You ended up stripping off your blazer and leaning over the console, mildly hyperventilating. Your arms glistening with sweat in the ambient lights. 

The door swung open and you hunched up. Jaw clenched your ringing in your ear came back, drowning all else out. 

You swore he was speaking but your mind was so swirled with thoughts and crackles and the persistent ring you ended up trying, “Get on with it, punish me. Kill me. You know I’m no good to you now.” but it came out garbled, as if you suffered a stroke. 

Maybe you did. 

You started a brief list of stroke symptoms but decided, was no use. If he was going to do what you thought, he’d probably use your own laser screwdriver against you. 

You suddenly remembered ages ago yourself in a similar situation. You disrespected him. You’d’ve done it three times now. 

If going by the sudden need for sports metaphors you were currently riding, third strike- you’re out. 

He wasn’t doing anything and that drove you absolutely insane. Clutching your sides, you spun around and met his eyes. Those eyes, so large and so beautiful and emotive were virtually unreadable. Your vision was getting blurry and your eyes started stinging. You were aghast with the day. It was a simple scheme. How could it go so wrong. You had heartburn. The acid was rising in your stomach and you tried to not hurl. The anticipation was getting to you on all levels. 

You elected to allow yourself to black out. You were headed that way, so you just gave into it without a fight. 

When you came to, you found yourself at your house, on your couch. Your favorite mug with your favorite tea blend was waiting for you and across the room leaning on your wall was him.

The Master. Your Master.

“Nice touch, passing out. Noble even.” His eyes yet again unreadable voids. 

Your head pounded and the back of your skull was a dull pain. 

You did notice and take appreciation from the pillows cupping you and your feet up.

“We need to talk.” His voice was just as unreadable as his eyes. The sentence flooded your throat and dropped into your stomach. You clenched your eyes and relaxed your jaw as you brought yourself up and cupped the mug gingerly. 

“Thank you.” You gave him a meager smile in genuine thanks. 

“Don’t think of it.” He waved it off.

He was uncharacteristically devoid of emotion or passion. Stoic. 

You took a few sips, letting the warmth and the taste give you strength and some comfort. You had lots of experience where this was going. Why fight it? He was an ageless alien and you were a human. The fact that he gave you all you got was phenomenal. 

You could feel your heart stop when you put it down. The silence was starting to get to you.

“I need some time.” He murmured, voice silky. 

“How long?” You hoarsely whispered. 

“No clue. I just need to process this.” 

What was processing time? Feasibly for him? You could be just here for a few moments and he could have taken centuries. Or he could have taken a day or 36 hours and you could already be dead. 

Maybe he was just telling you this to shake you off and stop more damage. 

You wanted to fight him on it. But how? Your jaw unlocked and lay slack. 

“You have a concussion. I’ve dealt with the necessary care. I put some pills that’ll take a week to heal you up properly.” He pointed towards the vicinity of your bathroom before pushing off your wall and headed towards a curio cabinet you really didn’t notice until now. 

Obviously, more than a week.

“Text me?” You said.

“Maybe.” He looked at you, his eyes were big and seemed filled with nothing but agony and resolve. 

You swore you saw his mouth move and a whisper of something you couldn’t make out. A different language.

He stepped in and the curio cabinet vanished from your living room. 

You leaned back, the Fam mentioned that your place was dusty, but obviously he must have broken out the dust buster. That was sweet of him to take care of the place before you were unceremoniously dumped on your ass. You went for your neck. The collar that you usually stroked in times of stress was gone, along with him. 

What was the date? You had no clue. Days passed, flooding into weeks. This agony of not knowing outweighed anything. You vaguely remembered the Covid-19 “shelter at home” but that was truly another life entirely. 

Twenty-twenty passed on and you had to get a new job, but nothing seemed to take for you. You’d either get fired for lackadaise or not showing up or quit out of the blue because you felt deep down you deserved better. Dozens of civilizations across the stars probably still spoke of you in hushed tones as a haughty goddess, or Queen sent by the divine. 

The nights were the roughest. A few times the cops were called because you were wailing in your sleep. They soon just stopped coming, unless your neighbors just accepted it as the new normal. 

If you could joke, and if you were in a joking mood, you’d probably remark how this was just like Bella Swan in New Moon “sksksksksk jksk lol!” But you weren’t anymore. You weren’t in a joking mood no matter what at the time. 

Life, without the Master, simply wasn’t worth living.

How could you go back? After all those stars seen? People met? And emotions felt. 

You felt your heart harden and break. 

You half thought of trying to push through the pain and see if you could somehow contact him. At least see if he was okay. Especially since you overheard the news at a metal bar you started working at that some strange lights followed by a subsonic explosion happened in a small city far away and there were confusing footages being leaked on social media of Daleks and death. It went away in a day, but still. You swore you heard a TARDIS in a few of the Facebook Lives people did as they died.  People thought it was a hoax. People were so dumb.

It made you ache. 

Maybe it was the Doctor, or the Master convincing them to go destroy somewhere more important. 

It was more likely her. 

You didn’t know which one would be worse, just in case more footage was released and you saw a flash of a face. 

You broke again, dropping the heavy drink laden tray on the ground and locking yourself in the walk-in fridge. Rackus sobbing came out of your chest like a snarling animal. You had to get yourself together before you lost the only job you made good tips at. You knew it was purely because the uniform was trampy, and not your sparkling personality or wit. You placed your head between your thighs and screamed through it, trying to see if that would stop you from your tears. It was literally more time that had passed than you had actually ran away with him at this point. 

You should have moved on. If not moved on, repress it enough to worry any mental health specialist. This wasn’t like you.

So you tried therapy. 

The big mistake there was dumbing it down and humanizing the Master and the Doctor so you didn’t sound like you needed inpatient care or to go on some watchlist somewhere in the universe. Let alone your planet. 

Some people somewhere might want to abduct you and harvest your organs for the residual artron energy. That could be valuable on certain markets. 

Or your brainwaves. Some planets would pay rogue Time Agents to harvest them and the knowledge you knew and technology you learned.

You became more skittish when walking at night. You had gotten so used to just blasting anyone who’d try to wrong you with your screwdriver. It was a crutch you missed. Every moving shadow scared you.

You also had to consider someone, somewhere might be angry enough with him enough and see that his little human whore was no longer velcroed to his side and go look for you. Penance for his actions, delivered unto you.

Not like he would care, obviously he was far gone and far away.

Your manager came in and gave a quick look at the sight before him.

“Why are you in here? People at table 6 were complaining. Had to give them vouchers and comp their bill.”

You wiped your eyes and got out from your hutched state, “The news. So much death.” You snorted up the snot threatening to leak out. 

Strange cognitive dissonance coming from someone who aided in toppling empires and had a past of executing people.

It wasn’t that, but my goodness, you had to sell it. It was a human thing to say.

“Oh, wow. I’ll give you a minute, then get back to work.” He closed the door gently and let you be. 

You paced and paced and thought, “What would he do?” But all the answers involved space tech you didn’t have in a five by eight cooler. Or loud theatrics and sass. 

You had none of those. 

For the first time in a while, you went to your neck and rubbed at it, wishing you still belonged to him, and you knew what to do. Anger flooded through you and honestly, you didn’t know who it was directed at. The anger felt good. A blistering difference to the waves of agony and silence in you.

You bratted off and knocked down a row of premade salsas and stomped out before heading to table 6. 

“Oh, so you didn’t fancy me dropping the drinks? Or whatever? You were complaining about the shape of the wings earlier? Anything else, your highnesses,“ You false curtsied before straightening out and untying your apron and tossing it on the ground, “Anything?” You spat.

They recoiled. 

The paunchy middle aged man asked, “What the fucks your problem? Like, what do you want? Cause you’re definitely not getting a tip now?”

An idea shot into your brain, “What do I want?” You jabbed a finger at yourself, “I want you to kneel!” You pointed at him and made a vague “get down” gesture with your index finger. 

“Kneel?”

“Kneel!” You ordered, all the chutzpah of a former self radiating through. You tossed a glass at that man’s head. It was no laser to the stomach but would do the trick. “I said, kneel for me, love.” 

The blood streaming from his head as he obeyed you, his fatty neck blubbering in pain and tears streaming down his face filled you with nostalgia. It felt good to be in this position again. Someone obeying you, the fear in their eyes, the sense of power it gave you knowing that you held the keys to their fate in your hands. A small pool of wetness nearly started between your thighs. Power was just so good, and feeling the fear come to him? Icing on a perverse cake.

Him kneeling was almost as natural as it felt for you to kneel ages ago. A labored, pleased breath escaped your lungs as you smiled and let off a laugh.

You turned to your manager and gave a grimace, “I quit, I just can’t take the pressure, dock my pay for the damages. Bye.”

You grabbed your stuff from behind the bar and ran out again from yet another job. 

At the back of your brain, you knew that possibly you’d go to prison for this. You assaulted a man. Out here in the real world, not the magic little world of madness, assault meant fines, sharing a prison cell with someone called Big Irma, ugly orange jumpsuits and a permanent record. Something that would prevent you from life.

Not that you had a life anymore. 

You arrived home and finally allowed yourself to let out all the true amount of tears you felt. You fell asleep on the linoleum of your entrance hall waiting for the cops to show up and take you away.

You were out for over a day, you woke up so sore and dehydrated. 

But the brunt of your emotions, you felt were over. 

You knew you had to consolidate who you were, who you had been, and where you were now. Make yourself one person, not a section of phases altered by the presence of Time Lords. 

But who were you before you’d met the Doctor and been the Master’s? 

That was the hard part.

Jogging that memory up.

You massaged your temples and went over to chug water directly from the kitchen faucet.

A normal human just couldn’t force people to follow their every whim. Or flit from here or there. 

Well, unless they were a politician or born to extreme wealth. 

You needed to be able to hold down a job, you needed to move on. He wasn’t coming for you. You finally and truly got it through your thick, pathetic human skull…

You wiped the water off your face with your bare hands and ripped off the bar’s uniform. You hunched over in your kitchen and cursed the day you ever met either Time Lord. Cupping your face in your hand you let out another massive groan and shook yourself free.

Those topics were not to be verboten. 

You had a traitorous thought, unless you worked for a government organization or paramilitary that dealt with the extraterrestrial. The job prospects for that seemed slim. You were formally in league with them. People might argue a conflict of interests or claim you were a double or triple agent. There was no true way to prove to a stupid ape that, you, another stupid ape weren’t giving off trade Earth secrets to known enemies of the planet. The list of aliens on watchlists was getting larger in the 21st century by the day. The Master definitely had to be on at least most of them. If not all. Though, the money would be quite good…

It was thought.

You were Earth-bound and just had to reintegrate. There had to be some books you could read. Life, For Dummies? Men are from Gallifrey, Women are from Earth? Something, even an obnoxious celebrity and an ill-trained life coach making a podcast on how to cope with a break up. Something.There 

Easier said than done.

It had to be done, however how hard.

What a pity, what a sham.

To paraphrase a comic, you were young, shiney and dumb. Easy to fool. 

You felt yourself utter, “If I ever see you again, first I’m going to kiss you, then I’m going to kick your ass.”

You pulled yourself back from those unhealthy words and bit your tongue.

This was bound to be hard.

But not impossible...

[kkulmoon]

Genshin Impact is actually a relatively new game, but it's super addicting so I guess it's my favorite currently 😂 i play a lot of games just to stress relieve, it help me to turn off my brain and give me a sense of accomplishment LOL and also to like... not feel lonelt during the pandemic cuz i been locked in for like a year now LMAO

And yeh the US situation is.... haaaaa.... i hate it here, save me TT^TT

Anyway!! YES JOON IS HUGE HE'S GETTING MORE AND MORE BUFF AND I'M GOING TO LOSE MY SHIT AND JK WHEN THAT HAIR GO UP INTO A MAN BUN, YOU ARE GONNA GET A FUNERAL INVITATION FROM ME CUZ I'LL BE 💀 the amount of time they make me choke on my own spit and water.... it's dangerous ;-;

And hush you cant lose a skill that quickly lmao, i havent ride a bike for like 5 years that doesnt mean I can no longer do it. And you can always open up request for a short while to get some ideas from people 👀

And oooo "sweet home" i heard a lot of good thing about it but i havent watch/read it yet, cuz i dont handle gore very well. And since sweet home is a webtoon, if netflix decide to not give it a second season, even tho they should, you can alway read the webtoon ;)

As for rant, not really, i just been very lazy now that second semester start and i just dont wanna do ANYTHING lol especially since it's my last year

My new year resolution... I wanna be happier *cue blue and grey* a lil too personal but uhhh TW i have severe depression and anxiety and all those good shit mental illness lol and I'm actually really bad at being nice to myself, so... i want to become better, i wanna unlearn negative things, i want to become happier, just a little every day, i'm much happier now than I was before so :D dont worry, love.

What about you? What's your new year resolution? 👀

Questions of the day!! If you could ask someone (dead or alive) a question that they HAVE to answer truthfully, who and what would you ask? -Valley's Lilies @valley-lilies

rippp that’s the reason why I am purposefully staying away from games cause I get stuck on things so easily and i KNOW there are tons of games out there that would catch my interest 😭😭😭 i’ll stay gameless for a few more years until i’m more disciplined lol, but honestly if that’s how you wind down and relax, go for it!!! i feel you so much on the lonely part, like now the bad kind of loneliness is creeping up on me 😳i’ve been locked up for a year too!!! i cannot believe it, it actually blows my mind, i’ve stayed indoors pretty much a whole year, it’s actually sick 😓

honey 🥺 i’m so sorry about it ;(((, like I really never know how to talk about it anymore cause saying the same things feels redundant, but hopefully things get better soon... let me tell you!!!! before the new year came I was only prepared to deal with joon’s big boy summer (or whole year for that matter) and then jungkook comes out NOWHERE, like i was doing good, what do you want from me!!!!!!??? i lost my marbles over that turtleneck manbun live, i can’t actually imagine seeing that now with his blonde hair I’ll just 💃💃→🪦,,,,, but back to the topic of buff joon WE ARE GETTING A LIVE TOMORROW AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH i’m so excited for that, i’ve missed him a lot 🤧 also hun i’ve learned it the hard way but i refrain from drinking anything while watching bts perform or like their content, something ALWAYS happens 😭

uhmmm yeah i agree, but i’ve only been making gifs for 6 months 🥴i literally remade the gifs for my recent joon comps a whole of 3 times before i was kinda of satisfied 🤡ooohh i never know about requests cause i don’t think anyone would want to ask me to do something 👀 so i’ll just gif whatever i find 🤪

sweet home was without a doubt of the best series I watched in 2020, and yeah I’ll read the webtoon if they don’t make a second season, but i want the 2nd season SOOOOO BADDDDD , i’m really attached to the characters and i think the actors did a great job too 🥺, on the topic of series? what were you favourite series of 2020?

let’s raise a glass to that “To doing nothing!” 🥂i really feel you, but i’m just pushing myself and basically using my classmates’ motivation to keep me going, and soon i should feel better 😩you should also try to hold on!! no need to do great in school or anything but you’re close to end friend, you’ve got it!

that’s such a great resolution! and you’ve already done a lot of the work by recognizing the patterns, i’m sending you all the support 💖💓💞💖💓💞💖💓💞💖💓💞💖💓💞💖💓💞💖💓💞💖💓💞💖💓💞💖💓💞💖💓💞💖💓💞 and you’re right, be kinder to yourself and happier a little bit every single day and you’ll do great and if you don’t manage on some days that’s okay too love, there’s also kindness and love in letting yourself “fail” sometimes 🥰

oooo for this year I want to finish my first year of uni having passed all of my courses, i wan to get my driver’s license before the summer, move out, learn how to do a backflip lmao, and finish the two songs i have left to complete my ep 😌hmmmm yeah i think that’s all tbh 

ahhh god that’s such a hard question T^T , hmmm i would ask a question to my mother, the question would be “Do you regret living your live for you kids?” , i won’t get into the details but she sacrificed A LOT for me and my brother and I would be curious to know how she really feels about it....  what about you? who would it be and what question?

hmmm question of the day, since you like to game, if you got to the chance to have a game made just for you, what would it be and what would you include in it?

[blackevermore]

Nathaniel Lore! Nathaniel Lore! Nathaniel Lore! Please?

[You ask and I shall give] [Also I've fixed and added to his lore, finally! TW: r*pe] 

Name: Nathaniel Kangee (Sioux for Crow) Abcott

Personality: Nate is a good boy who has done some very bad things and is aware of it. He is kind-hearted, honest and will do anything for the ones the prove their worth. Though he may come off as goofy and never serious. He is about his business and he can clean up well if needed. He is always on high alert because he knows what he does is dangerous and is confident in everything he does. His loyalty is strong. His patience is tested. Through all his many years he has picked up some nasty habits of lying and manipulating people. But, He always tries to stay humble and remember where he comes from and who he really is. At the end of the day, he knows that he knows he should turn his life around but the thrill is just too fun.

Lore:

x He belongs to the Shoshone-Bannock (grandmother’s side) and Sioux (grandfather’s side) tribes. But he mostly grew up and only knows the culture of the Shoshone-Bannock tribe.

x He is the product of rape when his mother was in college, from that he hates the fact he was born, had identity issues, insecurities. He strongly hates his biological father. His mother loves him so much and wishes that Nate wouldn’t poison himself with anger.

x Nate was possessed by his grandfather who was already a restless vengeful spirit(the lore on his grandparents is crazy so if you wanna hear about that lemme know!) when he was 4. The spirit was/is trying to do right by killing the white devil that has harmed his family but....that’s his grandson. Nate’s mother has done her best to calm the spirit from trying to kill Nate which resulted in putting the spirit to sleep within Nate for 15 years. 

x Throughout his childhood Nate was for the most parent a good kid but every so often he would get really angry and would go on a destroying rampage. His mother would try to reach out to him but Nate would pull away crying. When it was all over Nate wouldn’t remember a thing and would be confused on why his mother was so stressed out.

x In school Nate was the smartest student, he was top three present, he played sports, was in the band, and his favourite subject is math. When he graduated he went to university he went on a four-year ride from his math skills.

x It was in college that Nate had his big identity crisis because for so long he didn’t have to tell anyone what he was. But when he tried to fit in with certain people he was just so different. He would look in the mirror and wonder why he didn’t look more like his mother and more white. So he started dying his hair blonde as a way of fitting in but it became a toxic comping method. 

x It was also in college that he met his best friend Vencent who introduced him to the life of selling drugs. Vencent would be in charge of getting the supplies and Nate would be in charge of managing the books and selling them. This was a way Nate was able to pay for shit because he didn’t want to ask his mother for help when she was already dealing with stuff of her own. Vence and Nate was a power team for the most part. Nate was still getting straight As and Bs too so life was smooth.

x In the last years of college Nate would get really bad headaches and would lock himself away for days in his room. He couldn’t control his emotions and would lash out at anyone for the smallest things. This is when Vence and him had a fight and Vence found out about Nate being possessed. Nate still was unaware of his own situation until he talked to his mother.

x Nate was arrested in his senior year of college but Vence got him out and pulled a few strings with his family (who are cops) to get it off his record. But Vence took a hit and had to drop out of college in his last year. Nate felt bad about that and promised that he will pay him back. when Nate graduated he went into full-time drug dealing with Vence.

x Out of college and running his very first very illegal drug company Nate was living the high life at 21. That is till he was caught again. Vence really wanted to leave him in there but that's his partner and best friend. But the next time Nate would be in prison and Vence wouldn’t be able to get him out. So Nate tries his best to stay as safe as possible. Luckily for the two of them they were offered jobs by a very secret company that dealt in the black-market and in exchange Nate and Vence would be safe from the police and danger. 

x Nate’s blackouts happen when he becomes to fearful of whats going on around him, that's when the spirit takes over and basically kills anyone that is causing harm. Most times it has better judgment but it has messed up a few times and killed those that were in the wrong place at the wrong time. Nate doesn’t remember these blackouts very well but when he wakes up with dried blood on his hands he knows something bad happened.

x Sometimes his eyes change color and he walks away with blacked-out eyes and golden orbs unaware. Vence and his mother have to tell him so he can put on sunglasses. 

x It wasn’t until Nate met Cev that he became overly interested in things that had nothing to do with himself. Now 25 he has gotten help with some of his issues. He has learned to love himself and embrace his native side instead of being ashamed of himself because he wasn’t fully native. He’s learned to be more careful and serious. He is still possessed by his grandfather’s spirit but they’ve somehow found a way to be balanced. His mother is trying to find a way to get his grandfather’s spirit out of him so Nate can just be himself (there is a way).

x Nate now has someone to come home to so he doesn’t distance himself from coming home or visiting his mother.

x He still has bad habits and issues that have formed from not being fully there half the time but he is doing his best in hopes of a better future. He’s thinking of becoming a math professor at his former university. 

[I didn’t cover all of him but that’s enough for a understanding of who he is]

[ashfountainfanfics]

“This is ridiculous,” Mike sighs in exasperation, “my friends and I had nothing to do with any of this.”

The detective at the other end of the table doesn’t seem to accept this. She’s a recent transplant from another state. Most of the Derry police department leaves Mike be, summing up his interest in police matters as a side effect of his fascination with Derry history. She doesn’t seem to be interested in giving that same assumption.

“You keep saying that,” she pushes, “but I think it’s strange that you show up to all the crime scenes and that two of your friends harassed one of the victims. Not to mention that Henry Bowers was found dead under your place of residency.”

Mike is growing more and more frustrated. It was surreal when the police showed up at dinner last night. The Losers Club plus the small group of cops nearly overwhelmed the small Italian place they’d been enjoying.

Bev, Ben, and Eddie are sitting in the lobby while Richie and Bill are in cuffs. Mike is somewhere between the two options or so he figures. He’s not sure he likes those odds.

Detective Lopez fixes him with a look that lacks any hint of retreat or gentility. She’s a no nonsense kind of woman. Her curly, dark hair is cropped in a pixie cut and her face is bare and set in a deadpan expression. Her blouse is a gray button up and the lanyard of her badge is tucked under her collar.

“It’s a small town,” Mike responds, “coincidences are everywhere.”

“Nothing is ever just a coincidence. Did you know Mr. Bowers?”

Mike calmly explains how Henry Bowers was the resident bully when they were children. How often that bullying went past simple pranks and low grade violence. To stop at calling Henry a bully was like trying to call Ted Bundy just an unfortunate date.

“You can ask Ben about his scar, that should give you a clue.”

“I understand that Mr Bowers had a history of violence and mental illness-“

“Being an angry white boy is not a mental illness,” Mike points out.

“Agreed,” Detective Lopez says flatly, “but that isn’t my point. My point is that several children and a man named Adrian Melon are dead and the escape of Mr. Bowers does not correlate with those deaths.”

“It doesn’t correlate with the arrival of my friends either. They weren’t here.”

“But you were.”

Mike is taken aback by the remark. All this time he’s been keeping watch, dreading the day that Derry needed saving but looking to save it nonetheless. Not that this town ever gifted him much beyond tolerance. He has no adult friends here, no significant others, only a series of routine faces that note his presence. Derry, Maine isn’t friendly or good. It’s not even scenic but he wanted to save it anyway. His jaw tightens.

“Of course I was here. I live in Derry. I’ve lived here most of my life, where else would I be?”

“You didn’t know these kids. You didn’t know Adrian Melon. Why did you visit the crime scenes? What business did you have being there?”

Detective Lopez is standing over him now with her hands planted on the table. She does this all calmly with very direct body movements. She never lets her frustration get to her. She harnesses it into orderly conduct and in a way it’s terrifying.

But she’s an outsider without all the facts. You can tell she comes from a big city by her demeanor and her thought process. Often a crime is committed by someone close to the victim or someone that makes themselves close. Contrary to the movies, the person most likely to kill you is the one in plain sight and right next to you. Monsters that hide in the dark and stalk you like prey aren’t the norm.

Mike is glad that he and his friends got rid of that norm for Derry.

“Detective Lopez? Have you ever seen someone die-“

“Of course I have. I’m a homicide detective.”

“I wasn’t finished,” Mike insists, “I was asking if you’ve ever seen someone die when you were a child?”

This gives her pause. Her elbows soften the smallest amount and her hesitancy is plain to Mike. She doesn’t sit. There’s no way she’s backing down that quickly but it’s clear she’s listening.

“I can’t say I have, why?”

“If you take the time to look into me a bit more you’ll know that my parents died in a fire and I was in the other room. I was too little to help them. I couldn’t save them.”

Now Detective Lopez sits down. Her posture is unnaturally straight and her gaze is still unwavering. This is either the best she can do to convey being receptive or it’s the most she’s willing to give.

“Can you imagine the sort of impact that has? I couldn’t even put down a sheep on the farm I grew up on. The idea of causing harm to anyone or anything, indirect or necessary or otherwise, still makes me sick. So please, Detective Lopez, don’t insult me with what you’re trying to infer.”

“Be blunt then. What were you doing?”

“Trying to see if there was a way to stop it. If you look at our history, you’ll see there’s a pattern. Every 27 years since the town was formed, a stretch of terrible things happen. That’s longer than I’ve been alive. Longer than my family’s been in Derry.

I thought maybe if I could pay attention for the next phase I could find the connection. I could save them.”

Mike can see that she’s regarding him as an absolute looney but Mike hopes it’s the harmless kind. She can picture him tinfoil hat and all if it means she doesn’t see him as a murderer.

“And what did you find?”

Mike decides that this is as good a time as any to tell one last lie. It’s not like she’d understand the truth of the matter. She’s the type to only accept hard facts and indisputable evidence. There isn’t anything he can show her to back the truth. Nothing but a lot of rubble on Neibolt street.

“I found nothing. Whatever makes this town the way it is, it’s not for me to understand.”

It’s not entirely a lie. Pennywise was just a part of what made Derry the way it is. Its death isn’t going to cure Derry of its bigotry overnight. There will still be small minded people, violent people. Mike will never understand that.

“So you’re giving up? Just like that?”

“I almost died because a literal living relic of my past broke out of an insane asylum and tried to kill me. I think that’s a sufficient wake up call that I’ve wasted too much time on this town and my own baggage.”

Mike can’t tell if she’s buying it or not. Detective Lopez gives away nothing. She’s an absolute professional to the core. Mike respects that. Derry could use someone on the force who can’t be swayed.

“I may need you to call you back in to corroborate a few stories so don’t skip town,” she gives him a curt nod, “You’re free to go.”

Detective Lopez opens the door to Mike’s freedom. Mike has a feeling that the others have been given similar instructions or that they will be given them. He wonders briefly if they should have thought ahead to confirm a set story with each other but he thinks better of it. None of the Losers are crazy enough to tell the truth.

“Hanlon, wait,” the detective stops him as soon as he’s out of the door frame, “tell your comedian friend that making jokes isn’t going to work with me. It’s not endearing and he’s digging a much bigger hole for himself.”

“Ma’am, with all due respect, trying to get him to stop is a joke in and of itself.”

—-

“Her first name is Jennifer!” Richie shouts as if wounded, “Last name Lopez! What did you want me to do?”

Richie can tell that his lawyer is not amused. His voice sounds really far away and it is. He’s driving to Derry as fast as he can.

“Richie, this isn’t your usual legal trouble. This isn’t stolen material or a damaged room-“

“That was one time and I was still a baby! How was I supposed to know what ecstasy looks like? You’re about to see the podunk town I grew up in, man.”

“They’re talking homicide!”

“I still cry over Bambi, for fuck’s sake. Do you seriously think I’d kill anyone for fun?”

“Of course not.”

Roger Clemming has been Richie’s lawyer since the start of his career. He’s a cousin of his manager and normally Roger has no qualms about representing Richie. Most of his legal cases aren’t even his; the man doesn’t write his own stand up so he can’t exactly be held responsible if it’s stolen. Richie Tozier is an easy client.

“I didn’t even mean to kill him. He had Mike and it was clear that old Bowers was totally batshit. I reacted. I don’t know.”

“So we have a witness. That’s good. The more witnesses the better. I just wish you hadn’t pissed off the Detective.”

“Yeah yeah I’m an asshole but I didn’t say anything about the case. And I stayed away from ass jokes!”

“I’m sure that’s what will save you.”

The Derry police station is not a big place. The holding cell is visible to the front lobby and there’s only two private rooms; the sheriff’s office and an interrogation room. Richie can see Eddie, his arms crossed and his face looking like he bit into a lemon.

Stressed out, Eddie spaghetti? You’re not on this end of the station.

“Be honest with me, Roger, am I going to jail or not?” Richie clings to a rare moment of seriousness.

“You defended someone from an escaped convict. If you sit back and don’t make an ass out of yourself we may not even go to court.”

Richie sighs and he wishes he could telepathically share this news with Eddie. He stares down Eddie in the hopes that somehow they do share a psychic link. Eddie remains pissed at some very specific wall instead.

“And, uh, my friend? Bill?”

“I’m not sure a trial can be avoided on that, but as long as there’s no physical evidence then the best they’ve got is circumstantial with no real motive. They’ll be grasping at straws if they charge him. Dead kids do make for angry parents though and sometimes they’ll pull a guy to trial because they’ve got no one else to blame.”

“So 50/50 chance?”

“40/60 of an arrest being made and I can’t begin to estimate the odds on him being found guilty. That all comes down to the kind of town your Derry, Maine.”

“Fuuuuuuuuuuuck!” Richie groans and buries his face into his free hand.

“Watch it, Tozier,” the nearby cop warns him.

Richie apologizes and feigns composure.

“Sorry kid,” Roger’s using his turn signal given the soft ticking in the background, “I’ll do my best but I make no promises.”

Richie mutters a sentiment of gratitude before hanging up. It would still be the better part of a day and a half before his representation gets here. Technically he’s not even sure if Bill wants Roger to represent him but Richie figures it couldn’t hurt to arrange it. After all, do either of them really want to trust whatever a Derry lawyer looks like?

---

Bill settles in for the night. To be honest, he’s slept in far more uncomfortable places than a holding cell. He wasn’t always a big famous writer. He remembers when he had to sleep in his shitty, used Toyota back in the early days. Now he’s got two houses, a celebrity wife, and a second movie deal. None of which he’s particularly sure he wants anymore.

It’s startling how unconcerned Bill is about the charge against him. He’s been taken in on suspicion of murder but Bill knows damn well he didn’t kill that kid and Detective Lopez doesn’t have much of anything on him except that he was seen yelling at the child earlier at the day and had been spotted at the carnival. 

Bill didn’t want to seem entirely unhelpful though despite knowing they were never going to catch what killed that boy. He offered an account of what he thought was an animal attack but it was difficult to make out. Richie’s lawyer probably won’t like that he talked without him present but Bill doesn’t really care.

Bill blamed the yelling on a mental breakdown. His hometown memories were complicated and a failing marriage and work pressure wasn’t helping. When he saw a kid about Georgie’s age living in his old house, he lost it. It was easy to sell this because it wasn’t really a lie. Detective Lopez did make a comment to Bill about how childhood trauma seems very convenient in this town but Bill didn’t know how to respond outside of confusion.

“All right, everyone,” a tired cop announces into the lobby, “Y’all should get yourselves to bed. Visiting hours are over.”

The other members of the Loser’s Club are essentially draped across each other in the lobby and half asleep already. Ben is in the middle like some sort of handsome centerpiece. He has an arm over Beverly and Mike is leaning on his free shoulder. Meanwhile, Eddie is sitting on the floor at Ben’s feet looking tense and irritated.

They gather themselves up except for Eddie who continues to sit on the floor.

“Eddie, honey,” Beverly says softy, “it’s time to go.”

“Richie and Bill didn’t do anything wrong. I will leave when they do.”

Bill chuckles a bit at this and looks over to Richie on the other side of the holding cell. The look on his face gives him pause because it’s not what he was expecting. Eddie looks genuinely frightened in here. He’s also watching Eddie as if looking at the last boat on a sinking ship; one that’s just too far out of reach. Bill isn’t sure what to make of that.

“They’ll be okay,” Mike assures the sulking man on the floor, “I know these cops. They’re decent.”

Eddie doesn’t respond.

“Sweetie,” Bev is getting a hint of irritation to her voice, “we can come back in the morning.”

“I refuse to get up. This is a protest.”

Bev sighs and looks to Ben.

“We’re going to have to force him.”

“Force him?” Ben asks back incredulously, “Force him how?”

“Ben, he weighs 90 pounds soaking wet, what do you think?”

“Oh Lord,” Mike immediately understands the implication.

Ben thinks about it for a second and it dawns on him the same exact time it dawns on Eddie. Ben is briefly horrified by the idea.

“You wouldn’t” Eddie challenges him.

Ben looks helplessly at Bev who shrugs as if to say that there’s no other way. Eddie recoils as Ben clearly accepts his orders and approaches Eddie with strong arms ready to lift him. His stance is that of someone attempting to capture a wild animal.

“Don’t touch me! Don’t you fucking touch me!” Eddie screams while rapidly kicking his legs to slide away.

Bill again turns to get Richie’s reaction to all this. He’s pleased to see Richie desperately stifling a chuckle. The cop stationed here for the evening seems to be frozen in disbelief as one grown man is trying to catch another and that other fully grown adult man is essentially crab scuttling his way to safety.

On reflex, Eddie sends a hard kick and gets Ben right in the shin. Ben stops his pursuit to cradle it.

“Eddie! What the hell!?” Bev scolds him.

“Now that’s enough!” the cop finally sees fit to reanimate, “I’ve seen some bull shit in my day but I won’t have a brawl in the station! Sort yourself out or I’ll put you in holding! Got it?”

Eddie gets up from the floor.

“Oh no,” Richie says quietly.

Bill’s confused but looks back to the scene playing out before him. Eddie looks apologetic and humbly confronts Ben.

“Sorry, Ben” he says meekly.

“It’s just my shin,” Ben responds, “It’ll bruise but it’s fine.”

“No, I’m sorry about this.”

Eddie uses his whole body to send a punch right into the side of Ben’s scruffy and very shocked face. Eddie’s fist retreats just as quickly as it had departed and he’s shaking out the pain of contact. Ben cups his cheek, obviously not very wounded. The man’s essentially built like a brick house for fuck’s sake. This does get the cop moving though.

Eddie is escorted into the holding cell with Bill and Richie. Richie looks in awe of Eddie either because he was so reckless or stupid Bill can’t figure which. He does have sneaking suspicion however that Eddie’s little stunt has more to do with Richie than with Bill himself.

Eddie is still pouting and sits square on the floor all over again.

“The little guy will be free to go after he cools down, unless you want to press charges,” the cop asks Ben.

“What? No. No… it’s fine.”

Mike quietly exits as quickly as possible. He’s clearly done with the nonsense that just played out. Bev and Ben stay behind a minute as Bev checks his cheek over again. Bill can make out the soft conversation they’re having but just barely. She’s apologizing for her plan, saying she didn’t think Eddie would fight that much.

“No no, it was a good idea,” Ben assures her.

Bill can see the way that comment washes over her. Ben was always full of a certain sincerity and purity that none of the other Losers ever really had. He’s soft and probably the only one of them that didn’t end up with a ridiculous amount of paranoia or cynicism. Bill doubts that Ben is unscathed but it looks like he at least had the good sense not to unleash his unknown trauma on anyone else.

Unlike Bill and his marriage to Audra.

It’s painfully clear to Bill right now just how much Audra looks like Beverly. They’ve got similar frames, similar facial structures and they’re both redheads. Granted, Audra’s red comes from a salon but it suits her as naturally as it does Bev. They could be sister’s.

‘Why can’t you be how I want you to be?’ Bill remembers saying to Audra not long before he took off to Derry. He’s disgusted with the comment now. He’s disgusted with the fact that he kissed Beverly and it meant more to him than his entire marriage. He’s disgusted with himself.

“See you in the morning, boys,” Bev waves to everyone in holding.

She doesn’t give Bill any special treatment. No lingering eye contact or wistful gaze. It’s as if she never had a crush on him at all, as if they’ve never shared anything. Before it always felt as if she was looking to Bill and now she’s looking at Ben.

Despite a sense of heartbreak, Bill takes comfort in that difference.

---

There’s only two beds in the holding cell. One of which is already taken up by Bill who is sound asleep. Eddie is still sitting on the floor and up against the wall. He watches for the cop to doze off. Sure enough, he’s starting to snore in his chair.

Eddie quietly and carefully scootches over to Richie. Richie’s been lying on other cot, entertaining himself with some sort of impromptu, silent puppet show. He breaks from it as he notices Eddie encroaching on his personal bubble.

“Hey,” Eddie whispers.

“Hi…” Richie answers.

Eddie isn’t sure of how to move forward. Originally he had mapped out exactly what to say after the gang’s celebratory dinner. He was going to apologize for kissing Richie, explain again that he had panicked. He would ask that they move forward from this and go back to normal. He wanted to reassure him that he is very alive and not going to die anytime soon too. He wanted to know how much it meant to him that Richie cared so much. He never knew he was that important to anyone.

Eddie did not plan on embracing his inner chaos and landing himself in a cell for the night. He still isn’t entirely sure what came over him in that moment. The idea of leaving just hit so hard and quickly that he couldn’t do it.

“I went to jail for you,” he glares at Richie.

Well that’s not a good start, Eddie mentally notes.

“I see this. I’ll file it under your list of uncharacteristically brave fuckery.”

“I mean that I want to talk. We need to talk.”

“Oh.”

There’s a pause between them. That pause grows into a prolonged period. That period slinks into awkward silence. Eddie is aware since he brought up the conversation that he should actually start it but his head is empty. All he can think about is how the stab wound in his cheek hurts and how flustered Richie looks.

“Look, man,” Richie gives in, “We don’t have to talk. I get it. You panicked. Case closed. Mystery solved. We both deserve a Scooby snack for that epic conclusion.”

Eddie realizes for the first time that Richie is hiding behind his humor. He feels like an idiot for not noticing sooner but his eyes are a dead give away. Richie is making more eye contact now than usual. It’s like he’s forcing himself to present a put together facade. He’s watching Eddie to make sure he believes it.

Eddie wonders if it might be prudent to look at Richie in a different light. In childhood, he was always just that asshole friend. He liked to pick on him but never past annoyance. You’d think trying to steer clear of Henry Bowers would have made Eddie resistant to a friendship built on teasing. In retrospect, Eddie’s not sure what did open him up to it. By all logical accounts, Richie shouldn’t mean much of anything to Eddie and vice versa.

“Why do you do that?” he decides to approach it directly.

“I’m a comedian, Eds. Cracking a bad joke is as natural to me as breaking wind.”

Eddie could easily feed into this but he doesn’t want to. He physically sits up straighter and takes a calm breath in. It’s tempting to write Richie off as immature and continue down the rabbit hole of humor at Eddie’s expense but he refuses. Richie is keeping a secret of some kind which seems painfully obvious to Eddie now. If he’s ever going to move forward from recent events he’ll need to know what it is.

“What are hiding?” he leans in close.

Richie’s face loses all color. He stammers for a moment and Eddie is secretly pleased with himself. He’s so used to Richie getting at him that it is deeply satisfying for the tables to turn. Eddie tries not to stay in that mentality though. He wants answers not revenge.

“Bill’s the one with the stutter,” Eddie points out, “fess up. You’re hiding something from me and you’re using your crap jokes to do it. I won’t go to sleep until you tell me what’s going on.”

It seems a little overkill but Eddie is feeling the dramatics today. They saved each other’s lives earlier. They should be able to talk. Eddie debates their closeness as he waits for an answer. Sometimes it felt like they were the closest two people in the room and other times they were the furthest. Eddie wants to know why.

“I- uh,” Richie is sweating at the forehead, “I want to say first that- shit no. Okay, growing up I- fuck no that’s going to take forever.”

Eddie continues to glare down his friend. It’s not that he wants to force the truth out of him but rather his concern is growing. Showing Richie his soft side doesn’t come naturally though. So here he is trying to be a good friend but acting like a displeased asshole.

“Okay, here goes,” Richie takes in a breath of confidence, “Dinner.”

“...dinner?”

“Yes.”

“What about… dinner?” Eddie says bewildered before getting accusatory, “I swear to God, Rich, if this is a set up to a mom joke I’ll-“

“Dinner!” Richie says again a bit too loud.

The guard stirs. The two men freeze. A few seconds later a loud snore emerges. Eddie sighs in relief. He’s done just enough to end up in here. He doesn’t want to get in enough trouble to stay.

“You and me. Dinner. Us. Dinner. Together. Y’know, dinner?”

Eddie rolls his eyes and relaxes his shoulders. So it’s not a joke about his mom but a joke nonetheless.

“Oh. I get it. Ha ha, very funny. Like a date,” Eddie comments sarcastically.

“Yes.”

Richie isn’t grinning. He not casually avoiding eye contact either as he does with a usual set up. Instead he’s looking directly at Eddie with everything he’s got. It’s the ‘please believe me’ look from before but in an entirely different context. It’s sincere.

Jesus Christ, I think he fucking means it, Eddie panics.

“Okay,” he finds himself saying even as confused internal screaming fills his insides.

“Shit. Really?” Richie is as shocked as Eddie is.

“Yeah.”

“You’re going on a date.”

“Yes.”

“With me.”

“I guess.”

This is all on the premise that Richie is released in time for a date. He may end up in real jail. Then what would they do? A prison dinner date doesn’t have the most enticing ring to it.

Eddie feels like a part of him has detached from his own brain. Whatever his body is doing is past his control now. The surrealism of this unexpected direction broke him.

“Move over,” Eddie demands quietly.

Richie backs up as far as can, looking absolutely befuddled. Eddie climbs into the small space left on the cot. He’s tired. There’s only two cots and one is taken. It makes direct sense to share at least when you’re not entirely in your own body anyway.

Eddie remembers briefly about how the two of them would often share the hammock as kids. Eddie unceremoniously plopped himself in and fought for space so often that it became customary. He never did it to anyone but Richie though. He was the only one.

Richie braves putting an arm around Eddie and at first Eddie’s spine goes rigid. He’s not ready to think about this, not even sure if acting on it is right yet. He still feels far away from all this even as he Richie’s body heat cradles him.

Something about the way Richie’s hand cups the small of his stomach feels...good. Eddie’s body relaxes and he realizes how fucking exhausted he is. It’s been an exceptionally long 48 hours. A little shut eye and a cuddle isn’t so ludicrous. Even if it is with Richie Trashmouth Tozier.

“Just keep it in your pants,” Eddie yawns before falling asleep.

[fmdjoosungarchive]

location: tokyo, studios

date: april & september 2019. march, september, & october 2020

word count: 1753

tldr; verification for sung’s song tokyo. partial lyrics, full comp & prod. the song starts in tokyo, when sung is missing his boyfriend. it evolves over time to be like a diary piece and since it serves as the first ‘chapter’ in his album, it’s also kinda like an intro where it talks through/foreshadows what will be in the rest of the album. sung’s affinity for natural sounds continues, as well as inspiration from @fmdxsuji’s song arari on the composition. again pls dont come for me if it isn’t a gayageum it Sounds like one (in the equivalent of white ppl playing the ukulele but still)

not all songs needed to be about one thing. tokyo, for instance, happened to be about ten different things at once.

it’d started in tokyo. element had a tour stop in the city, and sung wasn’t feeling as chipper as he’d have liked. he loved performing with everything in his being, but-- he still rested his head against the window, watching buildings and people pass by in blurs, no other care for conversation.

sung couldn’t quite make sense of what had caused such a mood in him on the plane from seoul. he supposed, part of it was that he missed daisuke. his boyfriend wasn’t from tokyo, far from it actually, which over time seemed to have made daisuke feel a bit bitter towards tokyo. it wasn’t close enough for his family to visit, which meant seeing them even less often than he would have through touring. sung understood that. he doesn’t like being so far away from his parents the few weeks at a time that element go on tour. years sounded impossible.

but, tokyo still reminded him of daisuke. being greeted at the gate, and hearing chit chat all around him in japanese, sat an ache in his heart. after all, coming to know daisuke over the last four years was the reason he’d come to be better at japanese. passing on by, he could understand most of what was being said, and that was all daisuke’s impact. most every sign he saw reminded him of his boyfriend, the food that he ate reminded him of what wasn’t with him.

maybe, he was just sad in general. that happened to sung, sometimes. he couldn’t pinpoint an exact cause of sadness, and was just sad. underlying issues he hadn’t dealt with could be the reason that happened, but it could also simply be his brain chemistry acting up.

that was his trouble; sung didn’t know. all that he could do was sit in his feelings until they lessened. he took a walk by himself before the concert, telling his manager he can ask for directions if he happens to get lost. that time alone was really needed. he called daisuke, but it seemed the man was busy, as he went to voicemail.

“hi, honey. um, i made it into town safely. it’s- it’s kind of loud here, this might have been the wrong time to call, but, um, i just wanted to check in. maybe see your face.” he’d stopped his path, leaning up against a building to look at the sky. “i miss you already. it’s hard being surrounded by so much that reminds me of you, when i don’t have... you.” his sigh probably sounded tinny over the phone. “anyway, um, call me when you have time, please. i love you!”

sung stayed in that spot for a while, long enough that he decided to record a video of the bustling landscape around him. as he started walking again, he caught all kinds of sounds, cars, trains, planes, click clacking of heels, even a siren. he ended the video with a short facecam, so he could cut that part of the video to send to daisuke.

over the rest of his time in tokyo, sung kept playing that ten minute video over and over, and over again. something about the ambient, faceless sound of human existence was calming, comforting.

in the shower after the concert, sung kept humming the same note pattern on repeat. at first, it was natural, as his brain kept coming back to it, without his active thought towards it. however, the more he repeated himself, the more sung thought that he should be keeping his melody in his head to record after he got out of the shower. it could be useful for something, at some point, he’d reasoned.

he was right, eventually. in the flurry of trying to write songs for his first solo album, sung had turned back to every piece of unfinished song that he possibly could. one of them was this piece, broken into the sounds of daily tokyo streets, and a short humming melody. it was... workable.

sung crafted a simple piano piece based on the humming, used some of the sound from his tokyo video, and just with those two things, it was a basis to write off of. he tried to recall the feeling of that day, by watching the full video of the street a few times over. getting back to that day wasn’t as hard as he thought. papers, then his computer, were dotted in with sing-rap lines about missing someone.

only partially through mixing that vocal line in, did sung think he might be wasting his time. the sound was so different from everything else he’d been working on, much too simply and abstract. and so, the playlist of tokyo was shelved again.

with march came the end of his second solo promotions, and in came the desire to write more music. it was then he came back to toyko, to fiddle around. sung wasn’t sure what he wanted from the song, or if he wanted anything at all, which took some of the pressure off in continuing to write. he made it much more complicated, at first, adding a plethora of digital instruments that he figured he could add in live later, should he so choose. in the end, basically none of that made it into the final cut. the negative of doing whatever he pleased, was that for the most part, he’d lost the point, and feeling, of the song.

what did stay, was something sung came to find integral to the piece. modeled after a recording of his own heartbeat, there was a drum line. deep, guttural, mixed into the piece as if it was still stuck in someone’s chest, and your ear was against it, straining to hear what was pounding into you without any effort on its part.

the song had started to be about life, and those held dear, which was a perfect place to use something that sounded like the foundation of life.

stumbling across the song for the last time was entirely accidental. sung would call it fate. that melody hadn’t crossed his mind in months, but the second he heard it again, it was stuck for weeks. there was nothing he could do to quell the sound in his brain than work on it.

first, he stripped back what wasn’t working, back to the simplistic version he’d started with. after adding on the drums, the world was his oyster. over the next couple of weeks, sung started writing lyrics, mixing where he was at back in tokyo, with his feelings of self. he wondered, if maybe part of his sadness, that day, was in missing himself, too. being in that sad area wasn’t what sung liked to consider part of him. it was something that happened to him, that he dealt with decently regularly.

lyrics took the majority of his time, as he mulled over this thoughts of what the song might come to be, if about anything particular at all. the next major composition change was quite quick, though. his interest had been piqued, the first time he heard suji’s demo of arari. sung had yet to attempt using traditional korean instruments in his music. really, the thought hadn’t crossed his mind until that moment, having his heart swayed by the beauty of the danso and suji’s beautiful voice.

he wasn’t very confident, never having trained with traditional instruments before, but there was a first step in everything. he’d gone to his usual music shop as soon as he had time to, to rent a gayageum. and, simple as the piece he wrote was, it didn’t take too much learning for him to get a good recording of it. listening to it again, with that addition, sung felt how much the song benefitted from that small change, and promised himself that he would continue to learn the gayageum, so that he could make something more beautiful to show the world in the future.

sung also made a note to thank suji for the inspiration.

the next change was quite a big one, though it didn’t deal with the composition. towards the end of september, sung thought he might want to go further than he did with moonchild, and have a song completely in english. even more ambitious than before, he knew, but he also had a slight edge of confidence, after having felt the power moonchild ended up bringing.

a creature of habit, sung called up the same songwriter he’d worked with on moonchild, to request help again. he didn’t really want to translate the words he’d already written, thinking that would flow much less smoothly as a full song, but rather, he wanted to take the feelings he’d put into the korean lyrics, and match it with english.

sung tried to take a more active role in writing the lyrics that time, because it was a full song, based on his own experiences and feelings. it worked fine enough, since sung had a decent grasp on understanding english, even if he didn’t think of it easily himself.

he’d insisted they keep one of the english lyrics that was in the original piece. it was a callback to another song he’d written for the album, talking about love and hate. tokyo was a place that held those feelings, from himself and his original inspiration for the song, just like seoul had from himself for the last decade.

getting to where he wanted was harder than it was for moonchild, since they were starting from near zero, from where sung usually started his songs, and because... sung knew he was being more stressful of a writing partner than he was the last time. every word he wasn’t sure of, he asked for in-depth explanations of, wanting each line to express exactly what it was he was going for.

sung couldn’t explain what this song was about, if he was asked, not in a pretty pink bow. the song was about tokyo, and what that city had brought to sung. that ditty, on repeat, with the sounds of scratched pavement underneath. music wasn’t always simple to understand. it could be a feeling.

the last thing sung changed about the song before sending it off in his final tracklist, was a clip of him humming at the end of the song, with that siren in tokyo in the distance.