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emotionoitme · 3 days ago
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i didn't know (2)
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i didn't know - skinshape
this is the second post for this chapter because of tumblr's block limit. read the first one here
“this one?” she holds up a silky black fabric, “or…this one?” it looks the same, but red. 
he stares at the options blankly for a second.
“i, uh…the red one?” he answers cluelessly. either way he’s gonna wanna rip it off of her the second she puts it on. 
she gives him a look to elaborate. 
“i don’t know,” he sighs, “you could wear a garbage bag to dinner and look good.”
“oh, that would be cute,” she rolls her eyes, setting the options back down on the bed. 
it was one of those rare days where carmen had taken off work to relax, sprawled out on her bed—shirtless with unruly curls. 
“try ‘em on for me,” he suggests, folding his arms behind his head. 
her eyes dart to the bulge of his biceps, his armpit hair, having absolutely no idea why the sight is so enticing.
“mkay,” she smiles, pulling the hem of her borrowed shirt up over her head, revealing nothing besides panties underneath. 
“fuck,” he groans, enunciating the word sharply, graciously taking in the sight in front of him. “come over here.”
this puts a grin on her face. no matter how many times she does it, he always has the same reaction. she begins to saunter over to his side of the bed, watching how he tilts his chin up like he’s expecting a kiss. 
“i could just wear this tonight,” she suggests, trailing her finger over his jaw. 
he gives a hum of approval. “except we wouldn’t leave the house,” caressing her hip gently. 
“we could have a night in,” she suggests. he shakes his head. 
“we always do. i wanna take you out.”
“yeah?” she leans in, placing a gentle kiss to his lips, “you gonna wine and dine me?” 
“mhm. give me a real kiss.” 
she giggles and leans back in again, giving him another soft, barely-there peck before pulling away again. he tightens his jaw and snaps the band of her panties, making her release a small yelp. 
“more,” he demands. 
“so needy,” she teases, tracing her finger over his lip, catching the bottom one and pushing it down to show his teeth. she loves using his own words against him. 
“fuck off,” he laughs, turning his head away. 
“i’ll give you a real one on our date.”
“i have to wait that long?” 
“mhm,” she picks up the black dress and walks in front of the mirror, holding it in front of her body, “you can work on your self restraint.”
“i have plenty of self restraint,” he argues, sitting up onto his forearms.
“yeah right,” she slips into the fabric and threads her arms through the straps. 
“oh, and you do? you came onto me within the first month of living here.”
“i would’ve done it earlier if you were home more often,” she admits unashamedly. “what do you think? cute?” turning so he could see the front of the dress. 
“you-,” he stops in his tracks, eyes flickering over the way the fabric hugs her figure, “i wouldn’t say cute.” hot is more fitting, “but yeah, i like it.” 
she rolls her eyes, and slips the straps back down her shoulders. 
“but y’know that means you have less self restraint than me, right?” he asks, revisiting the disagreement, “because i was gonna keep it…professional.” 
“professional, my ass. i saw the way you would look at me when i first moved in.” 
“wh-how would i look at you?” 
“how you’re looking at me right now.”
oh. his eyes snap back up to her face, having been caught red handed. it’s not his fault she looks good. and after all, he is just a man. 
she turns away from him and shimmies the dress down her hips. 
“okay. fine,” he concedes, craning his neck to watch her breasts in the mirror, “but i did restrain myself.” 
“please,” she scoffs, “i had you wrapped around my finger the second i got here.” she turns back to him, and watches his eyes flicker down her body, then back up. 
he takes a moment to respond, a look of contemplation on his face. she wasn’t wrong, at all. but he still felt the need to contest. 
“tell you what,” he sits up, “we can put it to the test.”
she gives him a questioning look, tilting her head to the side. 
“no touching. no kissing…first one to break loses.” he has a smug smirk on his face.
“you’re not funny,” she says, unamused.
“i’m being serious. you say i don’t have restraint, but i know you don’t.” 
“you’re gonna eat those words. i’m gonna kick your ass at this game,” she retorts. 
“yeah?”
“mhm. winner gets head.” 
“fine by me,” he nods. either way, he’ll win. 
“i’m still gonna hold your hand tonight, though.” she pouts.
“yeah. we’ll just keep it uh…PG.” 
she snorts out a laugh at this. “PG?” 
“mhm.” he nods. “family friendly.” 
“okay. well get out of my room then. cause i kind of wanna pounce on you.”
carmen lets out a soft laugh. this was going to be an easy game.
-
…or so he thought. 
up until the moment she came down the stairs in that fucking red dress. 
it hugs her curves like a glove, dawning dainty straps and a plunging neckline. his brain actually stutters for a moment watching her descend the stairs, just silently staring at her with eyes wide as saucers. 
a grin forms on the girl’s face at his stunned expression. she put the dress on expecting a reaction, but wasn’t expecting speechless. 
“jesus christ,” is the first thing that exits his mouth, and it comes out strained. 
“you like it?” she asks, giving a slow turn so he could admire it at every angle. 
“it’s-yeah…you look…amazing.” 
“bet you wanna touch, huh?” she teases with a grin on her face. 
“i’m-yeah. fuck yeah, i do.” he exhales, standing from the couch, walking closer to her. 
“well, you can,” she reaches forward to straighten out his suit jacket, “if you keep it PG.”
he lets out a small chuckle at this, placing a hand on her hip, stroking his thumb against her. he studies her face. the way she’s done her makeup is classy and light. she’s wearing a red lipstick that makes him wonder what it would look like smeared across her face. 
“what’s up with your tie?” she asks, breaking him out of his trance. she’s furrowing her brows at the knot. 
“oh, i, uh…i can’t really tie one,” he admits bashfully. “i’ll do it for you,” she gives him a soft smile and reaches to undo the knot. 
the way her fingers brush against his neck leaves his skin feeling hot. 
like most things between them recently, it feels very domestic, having her tie his tie. he can’t stop staring at her as she does it, either, transfixed with the way she’s all dolled up for him. 
“there,” she loops the knot, and pushes it up to tighten, “very handsome.” her hand comes to the side of his face, and she strokes her thumb over his jaw. the way their eyes lock feel more intimate than carmen expects, feeling as if he’s baring his soul under her gaze. he wants to kiss her so bad, inwardly cursing his juvenile challenge he posed hours ago. cursing the fantasies that flood his mind of keeping her at home—providing for her, having her tie his ties and pack his lunches and have his babies. cursing the cruel way in which the world seems to rip away all that brings him joy. 
“you, uh…ready to go?” he clears his throat, pulling away from her, turning his head to hide a pained expression. 
“yeah. let me just grab my wallet.”
“leave it,” he commands, “you won’t need it.” 
a slight look of surprise forms on her face, morphing into a smile as the implication seeps in. 
“just wait for a second,” she turns to walk to the stairs, “it’s on my nightstand.” 
carmen grabs her wrist with a “hey,” stopping the girl in her tracks. 
“what did i just say?” he chides lowly. “leave it. let’s go.”
she turns to face him, taking in his serious expression. stern and handsome—it makes her want to push. but she figures she can save it for later, after she wins. 
“yes sir,” she responds, gazing up at him endearingly. 
he’s almost a little surprised at her obedience. feels himself puff up a little at the name. 
without another word, he opens the door and offers his arm. she takes it happily. 
-
the entire date ends up being a lot fancier than she ever would have expected. 
carmen had explained to her, as they rode in the back of the private car he had ordered, that he wanted to make tonight really special. partially to make up for the fact that he hadn’t been gentlemanly enough to take her out on a proper date before tonight, but mostly just because he wanted to spoil her with some good food before she leaves. 
“now, uh…i know you said you didn’t wanna go to my restaurant. but i was thinking we could just stop in so you could see it.”
“n-no, i do wanna go,” she asserts quickly, “i’d love to see it. i was just a little…embarrassed.”
he lets out a small chuckle at this.
“you don’t need to be. i’ll get us a private table and everything.” he nods, reaching over to rest a hand on her thigh. “no one will bother us.”
“yeah?” it sounds promising. 
“yeah, baby. i’ll take care of it.”
he pulls out his phone to make a call. 
it makes her stomach flutter a little bit.
when they arrive, she’s a bit taken aback by the bear. she already knew it was a nice place—though she wasn’t expecting the type of michelin star dining that leaves people speechless. 
they’re seated the moment they walk in, and escorted to a table near the back of the restaurant, slightly hidden by the thick foliage of a potted plant. 
carmen pulls her chair out for her, pressing a quick kiss to her cheek before sitting down across from her. 
“this is…it’s beautiful in here, carm.” 
“yeah?” he can’t help the boost her words give him, looking around a bit, “you think so?” 
“it’s incredible,” she nods, “i had no idea it would be so fancy.” 
he lets out a small chuckle at this, placing his hand atop hers. he goes to thank her, but is interrupted by the greeting of their waitress. 
the girl smiles in reply, feeling bad for the clearly nervous employee that has to serve the big boss. 
they order signature cocktails that cost so much the prices aren’t even listed on the menu. she supposes this follows the premise that if you have to ask for the price of something, you can’t afford it. it makes her grateful for her wallet left atop the nightstand. 
“what’s the first thing you’re gonna do when you’re back home?” he asks, taking a sip of the old fashioned he had ordered. it’s easier to talk about when he’s not thinking about how soon it’ll be a reality. 
“go to the beach,” she responds quietly, after a moment, “and get in the water. even if it’s freezing cold.” 
“yeah?” a smile forms on his face at the mental image. 
“yeah, i uh…like chicago. but i really do miss home. and i miss my friends.”  
“totally.” he gives her a knowing nod. 
“carmy, do you-” she sighs, fidgeting with her ring, “can i call you? when i’m back?” 
“you fuckin’ better.” he responds quickly. 
the girl smiles at the sternness of his response, and reaches out to touch his hand. 
“okay,” she nods, “good. cause i’m gonna miss you.” 
“yeah, it’s…it’s not gonna be easy.” understatement of the year. “it’ll work out though. i’ll come visit you or somethin’.” 
and despite the weight of the circumstances, she smiles at this, and brings his hand up to her lips, placing a slow, tender kiss to the side of it. just wanting to show her appreciation. “you’d like it, i think. it’s really different from here.”
“yeah?”
“mhm. and my friends would freak meeting you.”
“why’s that?” he raises his eyebrows. 
“cause i mean, look at you. i’d probably have to fight them off.” 
carmen lets out a soft laugh at this, shaking his head in disbelief. “y’know, i’ve thought the same thing about you? just wanna keep you to myself.” 
she smiles, and moves from kissing his hand to kissing his fingers. 
carmen rests his thumb on her cheek, tightening his jaw as she moves onto his middle finger. how she places another kiss, pressing her lips to him, holding his wrist gently and looking up at him through her eyelashes.
the sight is kind of erotic. 
“you, uh…” he clears his throat, shuffling forward in his seat, “you giving up on our game?” 
“no,” she has this innocent look on her face, like she doesn’t know exactly what she’s doing, “this is PG.” carmy feels the immense urge to shove his fingers in her mouth and make her suck. 
“nothing about that is… stop,” he grunts as she softly bites him. it’s clear that she’s trying to get him to fold. and she’s right on track so far. 
“fine. you’re no fun.” she pouts, releasing his hand and sitting straight. 
“i’m not gonna lose to you.” 
“yes you are,” she smiles, resting her chin in her hand. 
his eyes flicker down to the strain of her breasts against the neckline of the dress. maybe he is. 
“nah.” he shakes his head. “no way.”  
her gaze roams over him, and she bites at her lip. 
“well i might. you look so slutty in that suit.” 
“i-…what?” 
“you heard me.” 
“i look…slutty?” there’s a perplexed expression on his face. 
“super slutty. you’re so getting it when we’re home.” 
“jesus,” he exhales a laugh, averting his eyes from her face, “you drunk off that one cocktail?” 
“no!” she smiles, rolling her eyes. “i just thought you’d wanna know. i can't stop looking at you. you’re giving me dirty thoughts.” 
he meets her eyes again with a smile, and puts his hand flat on the table, reaching out for her. when she gives him her hand, he glances at the red nail polish adorning her fingers. 
“i, uh… i can't stop looking at you either.” he runs his thumb over her skin. “i’m…crazy about you. you know that, right?” 
“i know,” she purrs, softly raking her nails over his skin softly, looking at him through her eyelashes. 
it him feel a little feral. he takes a deep breath in through his nose. 
“so, you can give up on this stupid challenge already?” his tone is low. 
“no way,” she pouts, “i want my prize.”
“yeah?”
“yeah. and don’t forget this was your idea in the first place.” 
he goes to defend himself when he’s cut off by a familiar chuckle. 
“well, shit, welcome back!” 
the girl freezes, staring straight ahead at carmen. the voice is easily recognizable. she hesitantly turns her head to put the name to a face. 
“richie,” carmen greets unenthusiastically, giving him a small nod. 
“you just can’t get enough of us or what?” richie chuckles, glancing at the girl quickly. he does kind of a double take, snapping his head back to her with wide eyes. 
she sheepishly meets his gaze, trying to not crumble under the intense look he’s giving her. 
“this is, uh…” carmen narrows his eyes at the man, “this is my girlfriend, -” he introduces her name. 
richie blinks slowly, like he’s trying to process, repeating her name. testing how it feels in his mouth.
“uh, nice to-…nice to meet you. i’m richie.” he thrusts his hand forward. 
“nice to meet you, richie,” she smiles, giving him a gentle shake. this is the most intense eye contact she’s experienced in a while. the silence is tense, and he’s staring at her with this perplexed admiration. 
“you’re…wow,” richie chuckes, “do you have an older sister or something?” 
“jesus christ, richie! go fuck off back to the front you asshole,” carmen snaps, face growing slightly red. “hey, i’m sorry about him,” richie apologizes to the girl, “he forgets that this is a nice establishment where we don’t use crass language.” his eyebrows are raised as he smooths his jacket. 
she opens her mouth to respond, but carmy’s scolding cuts her off, snapping at the man to go do his job and “stop fucking around”. 
“hey, i just wanted to come introduce myself to your lovely date,” richie puts his hands up in defense, “can i get you anything else, sweetheart?” he asks the girl, “you want another one of those?” pointing to her cocktail. 
“maybe after dinner, thank you,” she responds politely. 
“ahh okay, i like the manners! you could teach your little boyfriend over here a thing or two.”
the man has a goofy charm about him, and although carmen is getting more irate by the second, she’s amused. 
“i’m trying. but he’s kind of stubborn.” her eyes flicker over to carmen, giving him a playful smile. his frown softens at this. 
“ha! don’t i know it! last week he-”
“richie,” carmy interrupts, “can you go check on our order?” 
“carm,” the girl groans. they didn’t place their order yet. he gives her a pleading look to just go along with it. 
and whether it’s the use of his nickname or the intonation of her voice, this look of recognition washes over richie’s face and his eyes widen. he looks at carmy, then back at her. a laugh bubbles out, and he slaps a hand over his mouth, clearing this throat. his face is red.
the girl almost dies of embarrassment on the spot, knowing exactly which dots are connecting in his head. 
“okay! yeah. well. nice meeting you. i’m just gonna…” he gestures behind him, backing away with a stifled grin on his face. 
when she looks back at carmen, his head is in his hand and his eyes are tightly shut. when richie is out of sight and he finally looks back up to her, there’s a pained looked on his face. 
“i’m-…jesus christ, i'm sorry about that.” he exhales. 
the girl feels dumbfounded by the situation, and doesn’t know what to say. 
she tries to keep it in, but bursts into giggles. there’s a brief look of surprise on the man’s face which forms into a small smile. he’s giving her the kind of bewildered look that says “i’m glad you found that funny because i was about 3 seconds away from getting physical”.
she rests her head in her hand, trying to take deep breaths and stop her laughing. it doesn’t really work. 
carmy’s expression of bewilderment softens and he begins to grin watching her. 
she finally gets control over herself and straightens, huge smile on her red face, wiping a stray tear from her eye with a big sigh. 
carmen thinks it’s probably the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. and there’s this sharp pain in his chest that feels like love but also like loss. like he’s discovered this secret to life that’s about to be stolen and never given back. 
his thoughts are interrupted by their waitress setting plates down in front of them. she introduces the dish, and tells them that chef sydney plated it specially for them. 
the girl has a big smile on her face, as she raves about how nice everything is, but carmy can’t help but feel a bit sad for the rest of the night. 
-
they return home hand in hand. the chill november air smells crisp like winter. leaves in the gutters rustle with the gentle breeze. 
as they walk from the car, she wraps her arm around his and leans in, resting her head on him for a moment. 
he turns his head and smiles at her. 
“i don’t know if i ever told you this…but uh,” he glances over her face, “you’re really beautiful.” 
“thank you, carmy” her soft smile grows, “i think you have told me.” 
“not enough.” he’s kind of in a trance, pace slowing as he watches her face. she giggles and pulls him forward to the entrance. 
the doorman of their building lets the two in, giving a small smile watching the young lovers laugh, that gleam of infatuation shining bright over their faces. 
as the elevator doors close, and she turns to face him, their laughs slowly cease. they stare at each other intently. 
“stop doin’ that” he mutters lowly.
“doing what?” 
“you keep looking at my lips.” 
“i really want to kiss you.” she bites at her lip, eyes fluttering as she keeps staring. 
carmy exhales harshly at this, clenching his fists to keep his hands to himself. 
she leans forward, bringing her face closer to his. he smells so fucking good, looks so handsome in his suit, she’s tempted to just tear him apart with her teeth. 
“do it,” he challenges quietly, their lips so close. 
she almost gives up on the challenge, leaning just a little closer, then-
ding
saved by the bell, literally. the elevator doors open to their floor. 
she gasps softly at the noise, pulling away from him, face feeling hot, core tingling. 
she had complained earlier, but this challenge is fun.
they hurriedly make their way to the door of their unit. 
the girl stumbles in her heels and almost face plants, but carmy catches her, wrapping an arm around her waist and preventing her from falling. 
without warning, he hoists her up, trying to throw her over his shoulder. 
“carmy!” she yelps, “put me down!” secretly hoping he doesn’t. 
he hoists her up some more, and she folds over his shoulder, dangling upside down, laughing harder than  she has in a long time.  
“you’re too clumsy,” he teases, hand securely gripping onto the back of her thigh, walking them the last 20 feet to their door. with his free hand he retrieves his keys, unlocks the door and nudges it open. 
he only puts her down once the door is closed behind him, and she wobbles on her feet when he does so, gripping onto his arms for stability. 
her face is rosy from the blood rushing to her head, and she has a girlish smile on her face as she looks up at him. 
“you’re strong.” 
he just smiles softly, gazing down at her. 
“can you make me another one of those moscow mules?” 
“yes, chef!” she returns, kicking off her heels and walking towards the kitchen. 
he runs a hand through his hair, sighing longingly, and follows, sitting on one of the barstools opposite the counter where she stands. 
“put on some music?” she asks softly, turning on the kitchen speaker. 
“what do you want me to play?” he opens his bluetooth and connects. 
“i dunno. something romantic.” the girl has a sweet smile on her face, measuring out the vodka for his drink. 
he shuffles an oldies playlist—the songs from the 1940s/1950s that sound like real love. like loving and being loved unconditionally. like settling down and coming home to each other every day.  
“good choice,” she compliments, cracking open a ginger beer. “i love this kind of music.” a frank sinatra song plays softly. 
“me too. it’s kind of nostalgic.” he thinks of the old black and white movies he would watch with his mom.  
“here,” she hands him the cold drink, garnished with mint and lime. 
“thank you,” he has a small smile on his face, taking a sip. it’s bubbly and refreshing. 
she clicks the speaker up a few notches, and hums along, putting away all of the drink materials. 
carmen loves the sound of it. 
the girl saunters over to him and perches herself on his lap, hand circling behind his neck. 
his arm wraps around her back as she steals his drink to take a sip. 
“good, huh?” he praises, dragging his thumb along the fabric of her dress. 
“it’s okay,” she sets the cup down, “not as good as the michelin star cocktail i had earlier.” 
“i disagree.” 
“oh really?” she has this smile of disbelief. 
“mhm. this could be award winning, easily.” 
“you’re just saying that.” 
“no. m’serious.” his hand rests on her knee, and he rubs it along her leg softly. 
she just smiles at this, and leans in to pepper kisses along his cheek and jaw. the first song fades into the next. 
“wanna dance?” she smiles against his skin.
“dance?” 
“yeah. slow dance with me.”
“i, uh… i don’t know how.” 
“what do you mean you don’t know how?” she giggles, standing up from his lap. “come here.”
he slowly joins her in the living room, a bashful expression on his face. he’s never been able to dance. it’s always made him feel stupid. but even so, he approaches. 
this love of mine goes on and on. 
she takes his hand and gently puts one on her waist, holding the other. she loops her other arm around his neck. carmy finds his nerves are almost immediately eased. 
they sway gently. the light is low and an ella fitzgerald song resonates through the room. it’s slow, and kind of sad. but still romantic. 
though life is empty since you’ve been gone.
carmen closes his eyes and rests his forehead on hers, suddenly feeling overwhelmingly sentimental.
his arms wrap around her further, and he pulls her closer. the music has an old fashioned grainy sound to it that makes it sound sweet. 
she leans in to kiss his neck, chest pressed flush against his. she feels a surge of warmth throughout her chest. feeling grateful. relishing the moment. resting her head against him. 
the two just sway gently, taking light steps ever so often. 
it almost felt as if they were playing pretend—both dressed in their nicest clothes, tipsy off of $20 cocktails, swaying to the romantic music. pretending the end isn’t in sight. 
i ask the sun and the moon. the stars that shine. 
he pulls back to get another look at her face. tries to ignore the way his throat tightens. 
what’s to become of it, this love of mine?
the girl’s gaze is longingly fixed on his handsome face. 
“i really did have a wonderful time tonight,” she whispers.
he gives her a smile, but it looks kind of sad. 
“i’m glad.” 
“i don’t really know how to say this, but…” she drops his hand and wraps both arms around his neck, getting a bit closer, “i…i’m really happy i met you.” 
he releases the breath he didn’t realize he was holding, eyes flickering over her face. he really wants to kiss her. 
“i-…you know i’m never gonna be able to stop thinking about you?” 
“i know, carm. i won’t either.” she hates how sad he looks. “but it’ll get easier, yeah?”
“yeah.” it’s gotta be the biggest lie he’s ever told someone.  
“i love you, you know?” her confession comes as a whisper. 
“i know, baby,” his tone is low, and he tightens his grip on her hips, like he’s afraid of her disappearing, “i love you too.”
what’s to become of it, this love of mine?
the song fades out slowly, and for some reason the music stops all together. the silence is thick, and the two lovers stare at each other with a palpable tension. 
her eyes dart down to his lips.
“i um…i think i give up.” she whispers. 
his brows furrow. before he can ask her what she means, the girl leans in and presses a firm, sweet kiss to his lips. and as innocent as the gesture is, it makes the air feel hot. makes it feel heavy. gives him goosebumps all over his arms. makes him groan.
almost instantly, carmen grabs the back of her head and pulls her against his lips, desperate to get more. he really does try to match her slow pace but he just needs it. he slips his tongue into her mouth, not even realizing how bad he needs it until he tastes her. 
the girl reciprocates for a moment, a small smile forming at the unexpected ferocity. her hands come to his chest and she eases herself away from him, feeling him chase her lips. 
“slow down,” she teases, helping to alleviate some of his hunger with a gentle kiss, a small grin on her face. 
she’s really good at using his words against him, he thinks to himself. 
“you look pretty,” the girl says in a low tone, eyes raking over the lipstick she’s left smudged over his pouty, swollen lips. slutty is probably the more accurate term. 
“pr-…what?” his brain stutters. 
the girl swipes her thumb over his lips and shows him the red stain, before leaning forward to pepper gentle kisses along his cheek, jaw, down to his neck. 
it surprises carmen when she keeps moving downwards, threading her fingers into his tie and loosening the knot, kissing and nipping at every inch of skin she can find. she moves eagerly, but gently—really savoring the way he tenses and shudders from the light touches. this time feeling as if she holds the power. 
the girl drops to her knees, smiling up at his look of wide-eyed shock as she fumbles with the buckle of his belt. 
“w-what are you doing?” he rasps, clearing his throat. 
“what do you mean?” she’s looking up at him innocently, slowly undoing his button and zipper.
“you, uh…you don’t have to.” he’s fixated on how pretty she looks down on her knees for him, “i know we made that bet, but if you don’t want to,-”
she pulls his briefs down to expose his cock and cuts him off with a breathy moan. it springs from confinement, tip red and throbbing. the sight alone is enough to send heat pooling between her legs, and she hungrily dives forward to lick a single stripe up the side of it. 
carmen lets out a low groan, still surprised by how enthusiastically she dove to her knees—her droopy eyes, the satisfied grin on her face looking up at him—it’s as if she didn’t even care about the challenge. like it’s prize enough just to please him. 
the girl softly grips his cock, leaning in and planting kisses teasingly along the length of it. making her way to the tip. it twitches in her hand. she flattens her tongue against the head of his cock and just pauses there for a second, looking up at his twisted brows and red cheeks with an amused expression. trying to gauge him. 
carmen intently watches her—pink tongue, manicured nails, looking up at him through her lashes. he lets out a guttural groan when she swirls her tongue around the head of his cock. 
the girl takes a breath and dives forward to take him into her mouth. 
“jesus.” his hand comes to card through her hair, pushing it out of her way as she hungrily takes him in. 
he’s thick and heavy in her mouth. she gives a few bobs of her head, coating him in her saliva, trying to find what makes him tick. tasting his distinct flavor and pressing her thighs together to try and chase some relief. 
“fuck, that’s-,” he exhales sharply as she moves her head up and down the length of his shaft, saliva coating his skin, beginning to stick to his pubic hair, “that’s good. keep doin’ that.” it’s more of a plea than a command. 
she doesn’t, though, instead easing her mouth from his cock, watching as a string of spit connects them as she pulls back with a soft giggle. 
he knows he’s completely fucked for her when his erection twitches at the noise. he rakes his eyes over her flushed face and chest. the way her lipstick is smudged across her spit-glossed lips. 
“keep doing what?” she asks teasingly.
“you-…stop fuckin’ playing with me,” he rasps exasperatedly. 
the girl smiles at his tone, and leans forward to give gentle kitten-like licks over his throbbing head. 
“m’not-” a kiss, “playing with you, carmy,” another kiss, “i’m just…enjoying myself.” she gently jerks the length of him, opening her mouth, bumping him against her tongue with every few strokes. she finds herself getting aroused trying to push his buttons like this. 
“you’re-mmh…you’re gonna fuckin’ get it if you don’t stop.” 
“you want me to stop?” she asks sweetly, “okay.” she drops her hand and sits back on her heels, watching as his erection bobs up and down. 
carmen’s gaze darkens, jaw clenched. 
“you-…” he scoffs, “i can see right through what you’re doing.”
“oh yeah?” she tests, “what am i doing?” 
“you’re trying to get me to get rough with you.”
bingo. she kind of wants a face fucking. 
“no i’m not.” the girl bites at her lip unconvincingly. 
“yes you are. and i'm not going to.” 
“wha-why?” she pouts, scooting closer to him. his cock brushes against her cheek. 
“not like this. i don’t wanna hurt you.” he reaches forward to brush a piece of hair behind her ear, letting his hand trail over her face. 
“you won’t,” she whines, eyes darting between his face and his raging erection. it’s big, so maybe he will. but she doesn’t care. “i can take it.” 
“you like to argue,” he grumbles, taking ahold of her face, squeezing her cheeks together slightly. she looks so cute like this. 
“carm,” she whines, “i can take it. promise i can. please?” 
carmen releases her face, trailing his hand behind her head and gripping her hair. with his other hand he fists his cock and gently eases it forward, rubbing the tip against her slick, pouty lips. 
“open,” his tone is low, and he slowly pushes himself into her mouth when she complies. he goes until he feels restriction, and pulls back. 
the girl lets out a sound of disagreement at this. 
“hey.” carmen chides firmly, “you’re gonna take what i fuckin’ give you.” he watches the way her eyelids flutter at his stern tone. the way she shifts her body overtop her heel.
the girl lets a sigh out through her nose and tries to exercise patience as the man slowly rocks his hips forward and back, never breaching the halfway point. remaining gentle and delicate in his motion. 
when she tries to sink her mouth further forward, he grips her hair and harshly tugs her back. her yelp is muffled around his cock. 
“what, baby? that hurt?” his tone has a mocking edge to it. “thought y’said you could handle it.” he pulls himself out of her mouth so she can respond. 
“i can.” her voice trembles. face is red hot. panties soaked with slick. 
“yeah?” he slaps his cock against her cheek, “gonna be a tough girl for me?” 
“yes,” she pleads, eyes fixated on him, enthusiastically embracing his shift of dominance.  
to her surprise, carmen steps away from her. he’s giving her this look as if he’s about to devour her. silence, for a moment. like he’s thinking. 
“take off your dress.” 
she blinks, processing the request for a moment. after she shoots up and undoes her zipper, she hastily shoves the fabric down her body, letting it pool around her ankles before stepping out. and by the time she’s about to get back on her knees, carmen’s own clothes are on the floor next to hers. 
the man graciously rakes his eyes over her nude body, thanking each and every saint he could think of. grabbing her and pulling her in for a frantic kiss before she can sink back down to her knees. he can taste the fruity remnants of lime and mint on her lips from the cocktail she had at the restaurant. 
the girl eagerly accepts his kiss, slipping her tongue into his mouth, swallowing the small groan he releases. 
“wanna taste you again,” she pleads in between kisses. 
“yeah?” he bites at her lip.
“y-eah,” she gasps, surprised at how firmly he had nipped her. 
carmen pulls away with a final kiss, moving to sit on the couch. he spreads his knees apart and locks eyes with the girl, a silent beckon to come. 
she obeys, of course, and sinks down to the floor in between his legs, resting her hands atop his strong thighs. it’s only moments before she’s eagerly diving forward to take him into her mouth again. 
carmy just watches her, savoring the moment. savoring how her tongue swirls around him and how she keeps going lower and lower. how her face gets redder and how she stares up at him with blown pupils. it’s surreal—almost dreamlike. 
he gathers her hair in a haphazard ponytail, using his grip to push her a little further down. make her move a little faster. he can tell she likes it, too, by the way her moans vibrate around his cock. 
carmen pulls her back by her hair, forcing her to take a breather. his eyes rake over her flushed cheeks and pouty lips. she looks like a little doll, and the juxtaposition of her pretty face with the filthy position drives him fucking crazy. 
“stick your tongue out,” he tells her gruffly. 
and she does, showing him her tongue and gazing up at him through her lashes. 
carmy takes a firm hold of her face with his free hand and spits into her mouth. then eases his cock back inside. 
it’s enough to make her want to cum on the spot. 
the girl takes him in deeper than she had yet, almost hitting the back of her throat. and despite her gag, she continues to enthusiastically bob her head, desperate for more. 
it’s so enjoyable, in fact, that she trails her hand down between her legs, beginning to circle her swollen clit just to alleviate some of the heat she felt. and it feels so fucking good just to have that added touch that her body goes a little limp, jaw goes slack. 
she gives carmen complete control of her movements, tethered to him by the tight fist wrapped around her hair—consciously focusing on relaxing her throat as tears brim her eyes. 
“jesus christ, that’s good, baby.” he shifts forward, filling her mouth with more of his length. watches in mild enjoyment as she gags around him. 
“just relax,” he soothes, moving his free hand to caress her face, dragging her back by her hair. 
the girl takes a sharp breath in as soon as she can, tears beginning to slip down her cheeks. her fingers are drenched with slick arousal, staring carmy in the eyes, lips parted as continues to eagerly rub circles over her clit. 
“fuck me,” he strains, watching her play with herself, unaware of her desperation until that moment. the sight looks like it’s straight out of a porno. “you having fun down there?”
she nods her head eagerly, wiping some saliva from her chin with the back of her hand, leaning forward to try and take him back into her mouth. 
carmen gives her hair a little tug, keeping her in place. 
she glances up to give him a questioning look.
“come give me a taste.” his eyes glance down to her lips. 
a small smile forms on her face as she processes his request. she gingerly leans forward, careful to not earn another tug, and licks a long stripe up his cock. 
carmy loosens the grip on her hair as she goes to stand up, enthusiastically accepting her tongue into his mouth to taste himself. 
there’s something about the ferocity of the kiss that makes him feel like he’s on the verge of finishing all over his stomach. he takes deep breaths trying to push the feeling away. and that’s before he feels the wet heat of her pussy rubbing against the tip his length. 
the girl finds herself so desperate for release she begins to rock against his erection, letting it glide through her wet folds, gauging his reaction to see if he’ll stop her. 
and he doesn’t, instead groaning into her mouth and grabbing her ass. 
so the girl positions her wet hole over his cock, and slowly begins to sink down, letting out a gasp at the stretch. 
“fuck,” the two chant in tandem, hers as a whimper and his as more of a gruff exhale. 
carmen marvels about how perfect the stretch of her wet hot cunt feels around him as she eases herself down until she’s flush with his lap. 
they just stare at each other for a second in this feral, pupils-blown kind of frenzy, mouths both agape at the sensation of his cock nudged so deeply within her. how she’s not even moving and it’s just so hot and wet and deep and fucking good. 
carmen’s hand sides up her back, thumb pressing into the dip of her spine. his face is hot and his cock is throbbing and his mouth moves faster than his mind can.
“m’keeping you here with me,” he almost growls, pressing his fingers into her skin, eyes locked on hers. doesn’t miss the way she flinches a little at the words. 
the girl grips the sides of his face, and leans forward, pressing her forehead against his, closing her eyes and shakily exhaling as she rocks her hips back and forth against him. 
carmy says her name. it comes out strained. his hands grab her ass and he pulls and pushes her, intensifying the gentle rocking motion. 
the girl presses her lips to his, hoping to quiet him with a kiss. hoping to forget about it and just enjoy the moment. but she feels him call her name again, this time against her lips. the girl begins to softly bounce herself on his lap, jostling his length inside of her. 
“hey,” he exhales in between her eager kisses. “i didn’t mean-” another kiss, “-you just feel so good and i-”
“carmy,” she whispers softly against his lips, “be quiet baby. just-mmh… let’s just enjoy it.” 
carmen groans into her mouth as she rocks her hips against his again, hand coming to the small of her back. and it’s definitely enjoyable. it’s just hard to not think about it ending. to not plead with her for just a little more. 
the girl takes his scrunched face and nod as a gesture to keep going, so she shuffles her knees in a bit and begins slowly riding him. one hand touches his firm chest, the other trailing her kisses from his jaw to his neck. 
“jesus christ,” is what slips from his mouth, as he feels her gentle bites, allowing himself to relinquish that control he holds so dearly, for just a moment.
when she pulls back from his neck, her face and chest are flushed, nipples perked, and she’s pushing her breasts out trying to get him to look.
but his eyes just remain fixed on hers, like he’s trying to memorize her blown pupils and color of her irises. 
“is it okay?” she asks breathily as she keeps rocking her hips, feeling unexpectedly nervous under his intense gaze. 
“you’re so fuckin’ beautiful,” he mutters immedietly, as if he doesn’t entirely process her question. 
and even though they were this far along, the girl finds herself feeling shy at his sincerity. she goes to deflect as she usually does to compliments that fluster her. 
“n-no, i-”
“-you are. my pretty fuckin’ girl. never gonna let you outta my sight,” he almost growls. 
and by this point her body is hot and her pussy is throbbing and she’s finding the words that come out of his mouth so incredibly tempting. the implications less serious under the blanket of lust. so her lips part in a moan and she presses her hand to his chest and begins to ride faster, easing off then re-impaling herself on his cock. his hands come up to cup her breasts, ghosting thumbs over her nipples. 
“yes, carm.”
“yeah?” 
“mhm. love how you touch me.” 
she shuffles her feet under her knees, angling herself to be able to bounce a bit more comfortably. 
“you feel so-fuck… so good, you know that?” carmen grits, face scrunching at the new sensation.  
her stomach flutters at his praise, eyes raking down his form beneath her. his flushed skin. the way the muscle of his shoulder bulges out a little as he’s grabbing her like his life depends on it. 
“feels so big,” she whisper-cries.
“yeah? is it too much?” 
“n-no. so good. m’so full.”
his eyes glance down to where their bodies are connected. watches her ride him for a moment. groans at the way she becomes nearly all the way flush with his hips. 
“so good at that,” he grits, mesmerized by the way her sticky arousal clings to his pubic hair. “take me so good. you like feelin’ full, huh?” 
her mouth just falls open in response, eyes screwing shut as she feels him reach forward to circle her clit. the added pleasure only spurs her on, beginning to eagerly ride him, breasts bouncing in front of his face. 
“holy shit,” she cries, surprised how easily she feels her orgasm building, nails leaving crescents on the skin of his shoulder. 
“you close already, baby?” he whispers with a small, knowing grin on his face. “m’barely touching you.”
she just moans in response, unable to open her eyes, bucking her hips more wildly by the second, movements becoming sloppier, needier. 
“just keep-ah…just stay right there,” she pleads, savoring his slick, feather-light touches to her clit, feeling tears well up in her eyes. 
“right there?” carmen eases his fingers back slightly at the sight of her tears, and it’s just enough pressure to keep her on edge. 
“y-yeah, i’m…just please-” she cries pathetically, breaths becoming frantic, a static feeling tingling through her body. “please, carmy, m’gonna cum. just a little more.” 
and he can’t help but just marvel at her. the twisted expression of pleasure on her face. the stray tear that slips down her cheek. it’s probably the most erotic thing he’s ever seen. 
as a thank you for the next year of jerk-off material, he lets her have just a little more. watches with enjoyment as she finally comes unraveled with this loud, primal cry. feels the sting of her nails against his chest and bicep. 
the man holds her hip with his free hand, thrusting up into her as her movement falters and she slumps forward. 
“carm, i-” she gasps, body becoming overstimulated, thighs trembling.
“i got you, baby. i got you.” 
“it’s-ah!”
“one more second, pretty girl, m’almost done. can you hold on for me?” 
“y-yeah,” she cries, desperately grabbing onto him for dear life. there’s this overwhelming heat surging through her body. her lips feel numb and tingly. but she holds on and takes it like a big girl. 
“you’re fuckin’ gripping me.” he strains, eyebrows twisted up in pleasure.
the girl isn’t able to respond through her jagged breathing, instead leaning forward to hungrily kiss him again.
“y’gonna have to move in a sec,” carmen warns, gripping her hips with bruising force. 
“no,” she begins to move her hips against him, meeting his thrusts halfway.
carmy groans, eyes nearly rolling back into his head. “what do you mean no?” he strains. 
“want it in me.” 
“jesus, fu-” he exasperatedly exhales, “can’t baby. you know i can’t.” 
they lock eyes, pupils blown. 
“please. wanna feel it.” her plead comes in between desperate breaths. 
“what, you want a baby or something?” the man asks her, partially in disbelief and partially in a fiery haze of lust. 
“yes-!” she gasps. and even though a baby is probably the last thing she wants, there’s this inexplicable urge that overtakes. that revels in the idea of being linked with him forever. 
“yeah?” he’s shocked by her answer, but not dissuaded, “you want me to put a baby in you?” 
“yeah, carm. want your baby. wanna stay here with you.” the girl finds herself coming up on a second orgasm, relishing the way his cock perfectly nudges against her g-spot. 
“fuckk,” he groans, face growing hot at her words, “you want that? really?” studying her expression for any trace of hesitation. finding none. “cause i’ll give it to you.” and he’s dead serious. he’ll buy a ring for her tomorrow if she wants it, he thinks to himself. 
“yes, i want it,” she cries, “cum in me, please.”
and between the desperation of her plead and her breasts bouncing right in his face, it takes him about 5 more seconds before he erupts. 
his cock twitches, body stiffens and he lets out a guttural moan, grabbing onto her hips with a bruising force. 
and the feeling of his hot cum inside of her is enough for the girl to fall over the edge for a second time, tear-soaked eyes rolling back into her head, a whitehot bliss surging through her body. 
the two lovers are overcome with the sensation, sexes pulsing rhythmically in sync, graciously sharing orgasms with each other. 
carmen’s eyes are scrunched shut, brows furrowed and lips parted. 
the girl’s head falls to his shoulder, shakily breathing through the feeling. trying to come back down to earth. 
they just stay there for a moment, panting. recovering. 
she finds that she can hear his heartbeat. zones into the rhythm. listens as it gradually slows.
carmy wraps his arms around her and nuzzles his face into her hair, breathing in the scent of her shampoo. 
when she finally pulls back after a few minutes, she plants a gentle kiss to his lips. 
“you good?” he asks against her mouth. 
“so good.” and so full and so warm. she never wants to move. 
but like all good things, they must come to an end. so the girl begins to slowly ease herself off his cock. and suddenly realizes what just happened. 
“oh shit.” 
“what?” carmen opens his eyes. watches as his cum slowly drips out of her. tries to take a mental picture. 
but the girl quickly reaches over to grab a tissue off the coffee table, frantically wiping away the surplus of the stickiness leaking from her core. 
“why didn’t you pull out?” her tone grows a bit frantic. 
“wha-cause you fuckin’ begged me not to.” he shakes his head, trying to comprehend her question. 
“i-…” she stutters, exhaling, “fuck, carmy, i’m not on birth control!” 
he has this perplexed expression on his face, blinking slowly and trying to rationalize her response. “you…did you not want me to? m sorry, i-”
“-no, i know i told you to. i just-…i got caught up in the moment i guess.” between the release of her orgasm and the weight of her previous request, the girl finds herself fighting the urge to cry. 
carmen must seem to notice this, because his hardened expression softens a bit. he quickly tries to think of something comforting to say. 
“want me to take you to get a plan b?” 
nice, carmy, he thinks to himself. he’s never been good at responding fast under pressure.
“yeah.” her response comes as a whisper. comes with a single tear. she turns her head away from him and embarrassedly tries to wipe it away. 
“hey,” he says tenderly, going to hold the side of her face, turning her back to face him. just studies her face for a moment with furrowed brows, trying to think of what to say. “you…you know i’d support you, right? if you…whatever you decide.”
“really?” it’s hard for her to believe him. 
“yes, really.”
“you’d want a baby?”
“if that’s what you want.” he has the most genuine expression on his face, eyes locked with hers. he watches another tear roll down her cheek and adds, “seriously. i’m all in.”
she’s shocked by his sincerity. it doesn’t make anything easier, either. just makes everything feel more confusing. 
“i’m…carmy, i can’t.” her words come out as a kind of sob. 
“that’s okay.” he reassures wholeheartedly. he doesn’t know why he feels just a little disappointed. 
“but i want to.” the girl plants her hands on his bare chest. “it’s just…you’re older than me. you’re ready for that kind of thing. i’m…such a mess, i can’t even imagine being a mom yet.” it comes out choked, the tears just keep falling. 
“i get it.” he nods. “really. you don’t have to explain yourself.” he rubs circles with his thumb along her hip. “i just wanted you to know. it’s your choice.”
“you’d wanna have a baby with me?” she wipes at her cheek. 
“yeah.” he nods, brows furrowed. “of course i would.” 
and just for a moment, the girl lets herself fantasize. lets her brain entertain the thought of having a family with him. of just leaving everything in california and starting new. of being so selfish and doing what she wants, just this one time. 
the thought is so tempting she finds it hard to distance herself from. to rationalize. 
she wouldn’t be a good mom. a good wife. not right now. she still has so much to learn about herself. so much to still figure out. 
after a moment, she finally speaks. 
“can you take me to cvs?” 
carmen nods, and reaches up to wipe the last of her tears away. 
he ignores the gnawing feeling of loss. has to remind himself it’s the loss of a fantasy. 
the loss of something that never existed. 
-
“fuck me.” she drops her bag to the ground, frantically opening pockets and unzipping zippers. “carm, i think i left my passport on the-“ 
“-no you didn’t.” he fishes in his back pocket for the booklet and hands it over. “here.”
the girl lets out a sigh of relief, staring up at the man with this perplexed, amazed expression. 
“thank you.” it comes out in a sort of whisper, and when she goes to take it from him, their fingers brush against each other. 
“you, uh…you only got an hour left.” he runs his hand through his messy hair. “y’should probably go find your gate.” 
“yeah.” she stands. her bag remains on the ground. “okay.” 
the two just stare at each other for a minute, locked in this trance-like state. 
“you know, i-”
“-do you think we-” 
their words overlap. 
“i’m sorry, you go-”
“-no, go ahead.” carmen nods, a small smile on his face. 
she takes a deep breath, piecing together what she even wants to say. 
“just…thank you. for everything. and i’m gonna miss you.” her words don’t do it justice. there’s so much more she wants to say. 
he nods, swallowing harshly. his fingers fumble for the piece of paper folded up in his pocket. 
“i, uh…listen. i know you’re gonna be busy, and…want to focus on other things, which i get. but, uh…i was thinking, if you wanted…no pressure…uh,”
“what is that?” she interrupts, curiosity getting to the better of her, pointing to the folded up paper he holds. 
“it’s uh…it’s a plane ticket. well, a voucher.” he hurriedly explains, “from LAX to ORD. i was thinking if you ever had a weekend free or something…” he trails off, trying to gauge her reaction. hoping he’s not overstepping. 
she takes deep breaths—having promised herself earlier that she wouldn’t cry. but the moment she goes to open her mouth to speak, a sob comes out. she claps her hand over her mouth. closes her eyes as she feels carmen’s arms instantly wrap around her. 
“hey,” he soothes, kissing the side of her head. “c’mon, don’t cry. you’re gonna make me cry.” his voice wobbles a bit.
the girl burrows her face into his chest, staining his shirt with tears. 
“i don’t wanna go-!” she cries, clinging onto him as if her life depends on it. 
“i know.” he nuzzles his nose into her hair. “i know, pretty girl. it’s gonna be okay.” his throat burns. face feels hot. and as much as he hates it, tears brim at his eyes. he told himself he wasn’t going to cry. 
and so they just stand there, holding each other. ignoring the shuffle of the crowd around them as people queue into the security line. 
ignoring the grainy announcements over the pa system. 
ignoring the fact that it would’ve been so much less painful had they never gone so far. 
for a moment, it feels like the world around them stops. the passage of time, the priority of leaving, all of it. 
just for a moment. like they’re back in the living room and ella fitzgerald is playing. 
“don’t forget about me,” she pleads into the fabric of his jacket. 
“i don’t think i could if i tried.”
at this, she places a soft kiss onto his neck. “i’ll miss you.”
“me too,” carmen chokes out, grabbing at her waist, her hips, trying to memorize the feeling of her body against his. 
and as the girl slowly tries to pull away, he holds her a little tighter, trying to turn his head so she doesn’t see him cry. 
“carmy,” she whispers soothingly, reaching up to wipe a tear from his face. 
“just, uh…call me when you land, yeah?” he brushes the gesture off, feeling all too vulnerable under her sympathetic gaze. 
“okay.” she rubs his cheek. 
“alright. i guess you should go get in line, then.” he goes to step back. 
“wait.”
the girl pulls his face in and presses one last kiss to his lips. it feels like they lock together. like the perfect fit.
and carmen just melts into the feeling, letting out the smallest of groans into her mouth. it’s her taste, her smell, everything. for a split second he debates giving up on his dreams. selling the restaurant and following her to california. raising babies and laying in the sand and swimming in the ocean no matter how cold it is. 
she slowly steps back, leaving him wanting just a little more. 
“i love you.” she softly reminds him, holding his hand. 
he nods, pressing his lips together and looking away from her. feeling so stupid for the tears that burn his eyes. 
“i love you too.” 
the girl takes another step back, letting her hand fall from his. picking up her bag and giving him one last good look. imprinting into her mind his messy curls and handsome face. 
and it feels like there’s nothing left to say, really. 
so she turns and walks away from him. towards the security checkpoint doors. taking deep breaths and wiping at her cheeks. she’s about to push through the doors.
don’t look back. do not look back. 
she turns to look back at him. and he’s still there, standing in the same place she’d left him. his hands are in his pockets. jaw is clenched. just watching her with this look on his face that makes her want to dive into his arms and tell him she’ll stay. 
the girl raises her hand. gives him a small wave. he returns the gesture with a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes. 
and with that, she pushes through the doors. 
in a way, it feels like she’s leaving home. not returning home. 
for the entire flight, she stares out the window in complete silence. thinking about the last few months. biting back more tears with every new thought. 
she gets back to san diego around 6 in the evening. takes a taxi to the beach that’s a mile from her house. 
sends carmy a picture of the waves rolling in, the sky stained a pinkish orange. 
within a few minutes, she receives a heart on the photo. 
he doesn’t send anything else. 
it does feel good to be home. the girl has to continually remind herself of this over the next few weeks. it feels familiar. feels safe. 
but along with the joy of being back home, there’s this underlying feeling of grief. a gnawing in her chest whenever she lays her head down at night. 
she feels haunted by carmen, in a way. 
her brain plays cruel tricks on her—mistaking any white man with curly brown hair at the supermarket for him just for a split second. 
stalking his instagram. his restaurant’s instagram. his restaurant’s employee’s instagrams. trying to keep up with him. 
she doesn’t call him. doesn’t text. 
and carmy doesn’t either. 
she opens their message thread ever so often just to make sure she didn’t miss his notification. types out messages and deletes them and stares at the heart he’d left on her picture. 
she convinces herself that if he wanted to call her, he would’ve. takes his silence as a message. 
on christmas day she has one cranberry cocktail too many and finally gives in. navigates to her contacts and presses on the phone icon next to his name. 
and the line rings. and rings. and rings. and right before she’s about to hang up and drown herself in more cranberry cocktails, the line picks up. 
“hey,” comes carmen’s voice through the phone. it’s so good to hear that the girl blanks out for a minute, not even sure of what to say. “hello?” he asks into the silence. 
“fuck you,” she blurts out, clapping a hand over her mouth as soon as the words leave. it was just the first thing that came to mind. 
after a stunned silence, she hears him give a surprised chuckle, followed by a “merry christmas to you too.” carmen grabs his jacket and opens the door of his mom’s house, stepping out into the cold, snowy night. 
“you never called me.” 
“i, um…i didn’t think you wanted me to,” the man responds truthfully, “you never responded.” 
what? he never sent anything to respond to. 
“respond to-…” she scoffs, “what, you ‘liking’ my message?” 
“yeah,” he feels a little embarrassed hearing it out loud, “yeah, i guess i can see what you mean. i, uh…sorry. i was actually just thinking about you.” 
his admission sends butterflies through her stomach. she rolls her eyes at the feeling. 
“yeah, well merry christmas. and i hope you get coal.” her face feels hot. “and i miss you.” the last part spills out without her permission. 
he gives her another soft laugh. 
“yeah, i deserve coal. and i…i miss you so fucking much,” he admits, watching his breath freeze in the air in front of him, “you still liking it out there?”
“it’s alright.” her response comes softly. she plays with a loose thread on her sweater. 
“yeah? your mom doing okay?” 
“i guess. as okay as she can. is yours?” 
carmen exhales, half humorous, half exasperation. “yeah. as okay as she can.” he had been called a bitch more times than he could count tonight, actually. but he keeps it light. 
the girl just hums in agreement at this, and a brief silence settles between them. he’s the one to eventually break it. 
“you, uh…you think about coming out anytime soon?” god, he wishes he had a cigarette. “still got your room empty.”
“yeah, i have.” it’s all she’s been thinking about. but she tries to stay nonchalant. “maybe after new years.” 
“great, yeah.” his heart pounds a little faster at her words. “no pressure, just…yeah. i’d love to see you.”
“okay. i’ll um…i’ll let you know,” she tells him softly, feeling an overwhelming urge to cry. 
“okay.”
“merry christmas, carmy.”
“merry christmas.” he shuffles from side to side. “stay in touch, yeah? it was really good to hear from you.”
“yeah, i will. you too. goodnight.”
“wait, i uh-” he wants to tell her he loves her. 
“hm?” she puts the phone back up to her ear. 
“just, um…take care of yourself, yeah?” he can’t seem to muster up the courage.
“i will.” 
“okay. good.”
“i…i’m gonna feel stupid for saying this, but i love you, carm.” 
he gets this feeling of relief and pain all in one. “i love you too.” so much. “thanks for callin’.”
“goodnight.”
“yeah, night.” 
the line disconnects. and it feels better than before. 
hurts still, yes. 
but better. 
the girl finds herself staring at the ceiling that night, just thinking. about her family, her career. about carmen. finds solace in the way that gnawing feeling is replaced by a fluttering. a hopefulness. 
and what is love, if not unconditional and everlasting? 
she drifts off to sleep with warm cheeks and the image of his goofy smile at the forefront of her mind. 
-
a/n: ow. 
really hope you enjoyed this series :) these two i hold so near & dear to my heart and i thoroughly enjoyed watching this story fold out along with you. thank you all so much for your patience with the process & for your kind words!!! xoxox
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hyog-blog · 11 hours ago
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Fangs of Fortune (ep. 06 - ep. 07)
Uh, not Li Lun, out of all people, making everyone finally question why Zhu Yan actually killed Yichen's brother and all those people years ago. We know he lost control over his malicious energy, but why didn't anyone ask him why it happened? Come on, people, you seem to be so smart))
Well, Wen Xiao seems to be accepting enough to not care about what our gorgeous Demon Lord has done in the past, which is quite refreshing. Ambiguous, morally grey characters need more unconditional love (especially when they're, uh, 34,000 years old? XD). But he doesn't even seem to be so 'grey' at this point - he's doing too many good things right now.
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The whole thing with being a 'vessel for malicious energy' is quite intriguing. Was he born like that? Can he actually stop 'the cycle of rebirth'? Why did he 'lose control' after so many years of cultivation? I'm also trying to figure out the timeline - the killings must have happened after he dropped Wen Xiao off at what seemed to be the gates to the demon-hunting bureau. But she wasn't staying there when that stuff happened? Did his demonic self come back there just to wreak havoc or for some other reason? Was Li Lun involved? Mmmm, the plot is deliciously mysterious, I will have to wait to get those answers.
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Also, I can't even be angry with Li Lun at this point, although he's playing the bad guy now - the poor baby was so visibly hurt when Zhu Yan called him a scumbag. And that painful look he had when our Demon Lord thought something along the lines 'screw you, I know how to wake this boy up from his nightmare' and pierced himself with Yichen's sword (which, uh, seems to be quite a recurring motif and the symbolism of it isn't escaping me, nope XD). In the world of jianghu, the next best thing you can do to show you CARE apart from cutting sleeves is to stab (or get stabbed by) the person you care about. Or get stabbed FOR the person you care about.
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I also love how effortlessly Yichen is third-wheeling without creating a feeling that he's actually third-wheeling XD Wen Xiao is obviously biased towards Zhu Yan, now even more so that she knows he IS that Great Demon who accompanied her and the Bai Ze Goddess all those years ago. I would totally trust him, too, if I were her. I also love the messed-up dynamic of a former caretaker/child who's grown up because now Zhu Yan definitely doesn't give us those parental vibes, he's oozing sensuality wherever he goes (and him pretending to be all hurt so she stays with him, ahah, that whole sequence was cute and hilarious). And Zhu Yan saying something along the lines that they now get to 'meet all over again' - was it to build a new relationship with her from scratch? M-hmm, yummy, utterly delicious :D
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And you can see how Yichen kinda sorta admits defeat in the way Wen Xiao no longer needs his protection against the 'big bad demon' (the man is using his big bad demonic energy to push her swing, for Christ's sake XD), but still can't let the other man go so easily because of REASONS and that 'you'll have to pay for your sins either way' thing still going on between them. Zhu Yan does know what buttons to push when it comes to Yichen, but the feeling seems to be quite mutual (they're cute together and their interactions are so yummy 😍). That scene at the temple is EVERYTHING. And then at Zhu Yan's mansion with the swing. Is he swinging both ways? Ahah XD For a 34,000-year-old being I don't see how that could be an issue)))
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Okay, cutting and piercing still seem to be the show's love language and I APPROVE (never had a kink like that, but there's a first thing for everything, I guess XD). The undertones just make it all so yum))
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The introduction of the new character, Yinglei, was hilarious))) We also find out that the Wilderness is crumbling down, which makes the whole Bai Ze token thing even more important.
/and I've finally reached the picture limit in one tumblr post, ahah XD/
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mostlyiwant-tobekind · 6 months ago
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When you see a book that you would like to read but want to see what Tumblr thinks of it and you find nothing is horrible
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fisherrprince · 1 month ago
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Instead of writing a fanfic like a normal person this oneshot turned into two separate, contextless things,
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#sorry it’s how my brain works (sometimes can only see things in terms of tv scene-)#tumblr exclusive video fancy…#dcmk#my art#(quietly coughing and spluttering) OK alright I can feel the creative brain explosion slowing down. geez#coughs.#nyways. weird that there hasn’t really been a main case where poison is involved in a certain way#If I watch my own scribbled boards for too long im gonna get too embarrassed to post. Send post#Subarus hair is still infuriating by the way like take that off your normal hair is easier. The beanie is easier#you like Have to have the side corners on this haircut or it doesn’t look right#anyways. shiho ptsd moments I think she kind of gets irritated that shinichi doesn’t react the same so when he does she gets like#weirded out and vindicated and a little protective. Like woah wait. Love that you understand me rn don’t like that you feel bad I am going…#to…………. ssssssssssit here about it…………………………….. uhhhh. do you want. a rubix cube to get your mind off it#I don’t want to talk about my feelings I just want you to get it. you don’t wanna talk about your feelings either which is……………. Hmmmmmm#I like her. love of my life miyano shiho#masumi sera#conan edogawa#ai haibara#akai shuichi#let conan swear. HE SWEARS A LOT BUT LET HIM SWEAR IN ENGLISH I KNOW HE KNOWS THEM#man needs his emotional support akai family they like him#rigorous trials to being approved by the akai matriarch but everyone else likes him already and have already picked him up multiple times#and shuichi would let him swear
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seawitchkaraoke · 4 months ago
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The great thing about my (not tiny but not insanely high) follower count, none of which are tumblr celebrity who can curse me with notes, is generally posts won't get too many more notes than I'm expecting. I'll tag my vaguely insightful fandom takes or jokes with the fandom tags and then sure they'll get notes and occasionally even dip into the hundreds or occasionally thousands of notes. But in a mid sized fandom that just released the most recent episode that's not super surprising and it also isn't a problem bc those posts don't lend themselves to ppl getting super discoursy or mad about them
But the fun thing is. Despite the fact that I do have a decent number of followers at this point, none of them care about my untagged hottakes about "thing I saw that made me mad" of the day. They all follow me for some fandom or another that I once did a good post in and I'm probably consistently disappointing them by not posting about that fandom enough
So I can still be a hater on main bc as long as I resist the urge to maintag whatever I'm ranting about, it's gonna get at most 3 likes from a couple of mutuals.
It's disappointing occasionally bc I'll be like "this is such a hot take and I am so correct you should all reblog" but then I quickly calm down and recognise the blessing of not getting anon hate
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rotisseries · 10 months ago
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THIS IS INSANE
this is extra insane because he plays cold and cruel and wants nothing but dazai's approval but he makes sure to mention "you're blessed with friends" my baby wants friends🥺
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skitskatdacat63 · 1 year ago
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Not afraid to say that I shant be able to recover from that strollonso vid.....what is up with them.......
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semiotomatics · 1 year ago
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okay, trying a thing
i've started two new sideblogs:
@thefourthtale, a mental illness/vent/general negativity blog. anyone can follow, but check the description for potential triggers
a private blog, for posting stuff that steers a lil too close to doxxing territory on my main blog (face reveal, location stuff, work stuff, etc). mutuals are welcome to ask for the url, and i guarantee if we've interacted, like, at all (even if you just show up in my notes a lot) i'll be happy to give it to you. seriously. don't be shy.
why am i doing this? well, tbh, bc i've gained a decent amt of followers (over 1600 now!) over the years and while i know and love and trust many of you, it's not all of you. also, there is still a bit of fear abt ppl from my IRL life finding this blog and seeing things i Do Not Want Them To See lol. i may end up tweaking the distribution of ~content (gross) as i go but for now this seems like the easiest way to do it
so there you go! while i'm talking abt sideblogs, there's also my twenty one pilots blog @silverlininghills and my brand spanking new disco elysium blog that doesn't even have any posts yet whoops @polychromeghost. feel free to follow those for even more Targeted Content (pukes)
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kairoscelrosis · 2 years ago
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hum desis ko bhi ipl ke baare me aise baat karni chahiye jaise sabb europeans eurovision ke baare me karte hain.
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gimmick-blog-bracket · 2 months ago
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Now for the final round!
@hellsitegenetics
I love them
I didn't know I needed to know that the weed-smoking girlfriends post was genetically a wolf, but I did, and I do. Also puts great stuff on my dash.
it’s so fun to be scrolling unhinged posts and then boom. an organism!
so many moths‼ also, unexpected comedy with some of the matches
perfect blend of silly and informative, and makes for an excellent punchline at the end of a long post. puts creatures on my dash. literally what more could you ask for
It's a really unique blog concept and a lot of times the results are pretty funny. It's great when the sequence matches the post content too!
Creatures 👍
Finds beautiful creatures out of the mess of the hellsite
Offers finality AND gives us a creechur.
I love them. English speakers talk like moths
If this blog wins, they could run the text of the winning announcement, and determine the post's genus and species!
They're also very good about tagging the type of creature depicted in the results, so as long as you mute tags of creatures you don't want to see, it's a very fun time seeing iconic legacy posts (and new submissions) being reduced down to a string of letters and assigned a random species of fish or moth or something!
uhh it’s cool
BLAST
There are so many weird bugs in the world
Yippee!!
If, as Haldane said, God has an inordinate fondness for beetles, then surely this blog proves that Tumblr has an inordinate fondness for moths.
Top tier blog as a geneticist, I love seeing obscure organisms and MOTH
Admin got rate limited after trying to blast the bee movie
the knowledge of biology to pull this off (i have taken one biology class in my life) and also the work to find all the strings honestly deserves quite a bit of praise
This gimmick blog has it all: science, pictures of animals, interaction with the text of other peoples' posts, interesting information, and a unique and fun premise. As a biologist, I'm rooting for hellsitegenetics to reach the end and take the tournament, because it is truly a standout among gimmick blogs.
If they win, perhaps this blog too shall become a cool organism :3
@hasgavlebockenburneddownyet
What's more happy holiday cheer than cheering on the destruction of a giant straw goat?
The birds may have won 2023, but I believe in humanity's capability for arson for 2024 <3
a vote for me is a vote for arson! This message was approved by hasgavlebockenburneddownyet
gavle is SUCH a public service and holiday feature
what's more tumblr than comical destruction and holidays?
sometimes you just gotta vote with your matchsticks
Bringing a cultural staple to tumblr since 2021
Arson is so much more fun
It would be really funny and ironic if it survives the tournament
you have no idea how much joy watching the chronicling of the gavlebocken brings me every year
hasgavlebockenburneddownyet provides an essential public service
always love seeing a bit of Swedish history on my dash 'Swedish bamboo season'
the goat account is peak gimmick blog
If I don't get to beat the goat then nobody does. -pointless-achievements
Never ask Tumblr to choose between lies and arson! The winner threatens by nature to rip apart the very fabric of our DNA!
goat statues made out of straw are exciting and interesting
I wanna see things burn
the goat is an essential part of tumblr culture and the goat blog is a sacred keeper of the tumblr high holidays
watching to see if the big straw goat has burned down each year is a true delight, something I never knew existed until tumblr and the blog dedicated to it
the incredibly focused nature of @/hasgavlebockenburneddownyet is what makes their gimmick superior.
Please guys bite gavlebocken
Look, I'm Danish. I was put on this earth to annoy the Swedes and vice versa, but even I voted for @/hasgavlebockenburneddownyet
gavlebocken is also such a fun name and this blog informed be about its existence, so for that I am grateful
hasgavlebockenburneddownyet is providing a vital service! Every year, people rely on their updates regarding the fate of our most beloved Yule Goat! How could they NOT deserve the win!?
sacred anti-corporate arson
a vote for gävlebocken is a vote for anarchy!
pls vote for them they're the funniest gimmick keeping track on the funniest phenomena in recent human history, like when i look at their acc i think to myself this is what tumblr was created for
the goat is the GOAT
HASGAVLEBOCKENBURNEDDOWNYET DESERVES TO WIN, I have them on post alert for a REASON
the holiday season wouldn't be the same without them
they do important reporting. Do you look at the news and be like 'the reporters aren't doing work they're just telling you whats happening.' Have some respect for the goat news
let the weird burnt sacrificial ritual of it all appeal to you
nothing makes my December more interesting, arson should win
doesn't barge in on other peoples posts which is always a good thing in my books. not a fan when obnoxious gimmick blogs turn a decent post into a garbled mess
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comradecowplant · 6 months ago
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takes like these are extremely funny (not funny haha) considering tumblr has been suppressing Black Lives Matter posts & accounts (as well as pro-Palestine) for literal years and has most recently been banning trans women like a wildfire in August.
so yeah unfortunately all evidence points this site very much indeed being the natural environment for terfs & white supremacists.
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the-melancholic-human · 3 months ago
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I am still pissed off that i wrote something super cute about single mom reader and simon, and tumblr didn’t save it in my drafts
But more on the topic of nobleman simon riley with the young cute wife he got himself from the village to calm me down:
Simon never thought of himself as someone who would enjoy the little moments of life, when he looked at a sunset he would simply see that, a sunset, nothing more, but his wife, no no no she’s the polar opposite
When she picks fresh tomatoes from their garden and drops them into her skirt, she’s laughing out loud, her cheeks rosy pink from the summer heat and the pure joy that seems to run in her veins. She holds up the tomatoes to simon, yelling out his name to get his attention, and simon is just sitting on a chair reading a book trying to not think about all the dirt under his wife’s nails and how damp the garden walls smell during the humid summers, but his wife, oh no she’s running around grabbing tomatoes from the bushes, while she hums a melody quietly
“Mr riley!! Look at this one! It’s so red!”
“ ‘s jus’ a tomato, woman, please keep y’voice down”
And when her skirt is full of tomatoes she runs back to simon, dropping all of the red bulbs of freshness right onto his cleaned and steamed pants
“I got you all of these! Aren’t you happy??”
“ y’skirt is absolutely filthy, ‘s it so hard to jus’ act a bit more timid?”
She shakes her head, laughing at his comment, as she grabs one of the tomatoes from simon’s lap and rubs off the dirt on her dress, and takes a bite
“I think you should losen up a bit you know? Take that stick out of where the sun don’t shine”
She laughs at her own joke, simon on the other hand scrunches up his nose at the rude string of words that his so called wife just spat out at him
But you know
Even though he gets angry at his wife for rolling around in mud all day, for jumping up and down on the bed, for scaring the maid ten times a day, for chasing around the ducks and chickens, for swearing every time she drops something
He can’t help how his heart skips a beat when he hears her scream and laugh and shout and swear. And here’s the thing, simon is starting to like the chaos she seems to bring to everything
And before he knows it, he’s standing up from his chair in the garden, holding the girl’s soft hand, as he lets her walk him to the tomato bushes. And he actually kneels in the mud, cautiously grabbing a red tomato and lightly tugging on it, looking at his wife for reassurance,
“See? That wasn’t so hard, was it?”
And when she runs her fingers through his hair with those dirty hands, like she’s petting a lost puppy, simon absolutely loses it
And he laughs! Like an idiot who’s in love! He hates himself for it. But, you know, he can keep the anger for another time, right now he’ll just sit there and let his wife tug at his blonde hair while the warm sun shines down on his pale and freckled face. And he breaths, for what feels like the first time in years.
The maid runs out, holding her dress in her fists as she scolds simon
“Sir! Please for the love of god get up! I’ve just washed your clothes!”
“Y’know… i think ‘m good here, and i think… y’need to take tha’ stick out of where the sun don’ shine”
God he looks up at you with a proud look, like he’s done something so bad and he needs your approval for it, and when you nod your head with a smile he just melts.
Just saying, the poor maid does not like your behavior one bit, especially now that it’s rubbing off on simon.
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i need to be more normal
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thegaythespian · 1 year ago
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should I write an essay for my English class about MCYT shipping discourse?
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coryndoll · 4 months ago
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who do you belong to?
rafe cameron x reader
━━ in which rafe has a wet dream n cant help but wake up his gf with his mouth.
warning(s): 18+ smut mdni ! reader is of age, dirty talking, oral n penetrative sex, name calling like daddy, baby, doll, slut, slapping, possessiveness, use of handcuffs???, rafe recording you two, raw sex (wrap it up folks), choking, non/dubcon, wet dreams
authors note: this is my first time ever writing on tumblr (also writing smut) so pls bare w me !!
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rafe tosses and turns in his sleep, soft snores escaping his lips as he dreams of the most absolutely nasty, vulgar, dripping wet sex between the two of you over and over again.
you face away from rafe, still unconscious and dreaming too, burying your head deeper into the pillow.
from the movement, rafe’s eyes snap open and his gaze shifts over to you immediately. the sight of you asleep makes him smile. you’re so peaceful, so beautiful. he takes in every one of your curves. as he carefully pulls back the covers to reveal your bare body, it makes him hard.
as he watches you sleep, his fingers traces the curves of your body softly. his mouth waters, and he can’t resist anymore when he leans down to taste your skin. your sweetness on his tongue makes him smile into your flesh before kissing a trail up towards your neck.
there’s a slight moan from you while you’re asleep, and as your body flips over to lay on your back, he watches as your leg bends til he can see that pretty pussy of yours. he grins. he pulls back the blankets further, revealing more of your body before crawling on top of you slowly.
very briefly you can’t help but let out a single snore — one of your habits that rafe can’t help but smile at every time he hears it. his heart is racing with excitement. he carefully lifts your leg, draping it over his shoulder as he presses his face against your pussy. he inhales deeply, savoring your scent before kissing your folds gently.
you stir, shifting your body to a different position. unaware of your boyfriend, your pussy touches his face and drags across his lip briefly as you’re adjusting.
he takes advantage of the brief contact, his eyes closing in pleasure before feeling your pussy lips against his tongue just briefly before you move again. he grabs onto your hips to keep you still, pressing his warm tongue against your folds.
feeling your hips buck up against his face, he hums softly in approval, pressing his tongue into your entrance to taste you. he opens his mouth wider to take more of you in before starting to flick his tongue against your clit in slow circles.
your eyes open slowly when you feel the interaction below, and you look down to find rafe’s face buried deep in your pussy. just from the sight, you release a groan, tilting your head back as you grab a handful of his hair. “rafe, baby,” you draw out quietly.
he hums, his face covered in your slick, a smirk on his lips as he hears his name. he flick his tongue against your clit before sucking on it lightly. he tugs on your hips, pulling you closer to him.
he can hear how close you are, but just before you reach your peak, he pulls away, slowly rubbing his cheek against your folds before kissing your inner thighs, grinning slyly up at you. he knows exactly what he's doing, and he loves teasing you.
“you’re so annoying,” you mutter. “what are you doing?”
"i had a dream about you, about this," he says, kissing the your thigh again. he notices the way you're still squirming with need. he’s enjoying the sight of you, enjoying the power he has over you. you're his goddess, but he's your devil.
"you're begging me f’more, pulling my hair as i eat you out, and then we switch positions," he says, licking his lips as he looks at you, his voice lowering as he continues,
"i take you on all fours, giving it to you hard and fast because you've been naughty and need punishing," he says, grabbing your hips to flip you onto your stomach. “or at least that's what your daddy tells you as he thrusts into you, filling you up completely."
“my daddy?” you ask with raised brows. you let rafe lift your hips up so you’re sitting in front of him, ready for him.
"yes, your daddy," he says, positioning himself behind you, sliding the tip of his cock against your folds back and forth, teasing you. "you like that, don't you baby?"
“please put it in,” you whimper, attempting to push your hips back against him so hopefully he slides inside, but he just moves backward. “i love it. please.”
"beg for it," he says, teasing you again, sliding his cock back and forth against your slick folds, but not allowing himself to enter you yet. "say you want me to be your daddy."
you relish in the feeling of his tip playing between your lips. it’s all you can think about that you can’t even muster up a response because you aren’t listening.
"you aren’t saying it," he says, pulling away from you and flipping you over onto your back. "if you want to be punished, i can do that too . . . maybe you need a little discipline," he says, carefully caressing your face. "are you trying to misbehave, sweet girl?"
you immediately shake your head as you grab his wrist. “no, never that! please,” you plead, leaning into his palm, but he slips away.
"then you need to learn your place," he says, pulling your wrists up above your head and holding them there with one hand, while the other hand reaches into his drawer and pulls out a pair of handcuffs. "you're going to stay right here, and be a good girl for daddy.”
you watch as he attaches the cuffs around your wrists, locking them into place. the whole time he’s glancing between your face and the cuffs. the way you’re watching in interest as he’s preparing you for sex. you’re just so adorable to him.
you seem to relax when he has the cuffs around you, securing you in place with your wrists above your head and your body is free for him to explore. it almost gets you excited. some, though, since rafe reads it off of you right away.
"that's right, you're all mine now," he says, leaning down to press a kiss into your lips momentarily, pulling away even when you lean in for more. "and you're going to love every minute of it." he proceeds to kiss your neck and collarbone, slowly making his way down to your breasts.
you hum in pleasure, your eyebrows knitting together as you arch your back slightly, pushing more of your chest into his face.
he takes a nipple into his mouth. it’s so small and soft. he’s sucking and licking circles around it gently before engulfing it around his lips once more. he switches to the other bud to taste you, continuing to kiss and nibble at your chest as he reaches for his phone with his free hand. "i'm going to record this, and you're going to love watching it later.”
he takes a moment to set the phone up on the nightstand, just leaning against the box of tissues, making sure it's angled just right to capture everything. "now, be a good girl and spread your legs for me," he says, his voice low and commanding.
you listen to him, carefully pulling your legs apart to reveal your pussy, still aching to cum from earlier. you bite down on your bottom lip in anticipation.
he grins as he takes in the sight, his own throbbing hardness pulsating for you. "that's it, just like that," he says, trailing a finger down your inner thigh. "such a delicious little pussy. such a perfect little slut for me.”
“do you want me to fuck you baby?" he growls, his eyes lusty as he looks down at your body.
you nod eagerly, pulling at your wrists that were cuffed. “yes please. i would do anything to feel you.”
his eyes are trained on your pussy as he guides his cock up and down your slit. “what’s my name?” he murmurs.
“daddy,” you whimper, finally, gripping onto the metal link that connects your wrists to the bedframe. “need to feel you fill me up with your cock.”
he smirks at your response and positions himself at your entrance. "that's right, you'd do anything for my cock huh doll? that's because you need it. need me to fuck you," he says before thrusting forward, sheathing himself fully inside you. it’s absolutely overwhelming and breathtaking. “fuck, you’re taking me so well.”
your eyes squeeze shut as your mouth gapes open. he’s so big it definitely wakes you up. “deeper! daddy please,” you say.
he complies, gripping one of your thighs and pushing it against your body as he thrusts into you harder and deeper. you can see his eyes roll to the back of his head as he feels you swallow him entirely, releasing him only to engulf him again. “you feel so fucking good, doll.” his hand reaches up to grip your throat ever so slightly, “who do you belong to?”
“t- to you, daddy. fuck.”
he smirks at your response, feeling a sense of pride and possession. his grip tightens slightly around your throat, making it harder for you to breathe as he continues to thrust into you. “that’s right, my little slut. you belong to me.”
you swallow back as you nod. “everything about me is yours. i’m your property daddy,” you moan out.
his words send a rush of adrenaline through him, causing him to fuck you even harder. he chokes you lightly, his other hand reaching down to rub your clit in tight circles. “fuck, you’re mine. my little property, my fuck toy, my everything. you understand that, don’t you?”
you only nod, too braindead yet focused on how his cock feels inside of you that you don’t answer again. you flinch when it earns a slap on your breast as punishment. the sound of his palm connecting with your flesh only serves to heighten his arousal. he slaps your other breast, watching as they jiggle from the impact.
“answer me doll. do you understand that you’re mine?” he demands, his voice rough with desire. he takes one of your breasts into his hand to squeeze it roughly.
“i’m yours, please,” you groan, feeling your stomach twist in pleasure as you feel your high coming again. “can i cum? can i cum please?”
“not yet doll,” he growls, his hips continuing to thrust into you with punishing intensity. his fingers continue to circle your clit, building the pleasure higher and higher. “you don’t get to cum until i tell you that you can.”
“please daddy,” you whisper, trying to hold it as best as you can. you squeeze extra around his cock, tugging at your handcuffed wrists that you can just feel the bruises forming already.
“shit, just like that,” he groans, his eyes rolling back in his head as he feels you squeezing around him. he leans down, taking one of your nipples into his mouth, sucking it roughly before biting down on it. “you’re so fucking perfect f’me, baby. everything about you. it’s like you were- made f’me.”
you cry out as you feel it coming, and your legs begin to shiver underneath him as he continues to pound your pussy til you break. “i’m gonna-”
he cuts you off by muffling your mouth with his hand, his fingers pressing against your lips as he continues to thrust into you. he keeps you quiet as he feels your pussy clamp down on his cock. he just needs you for a few seconds before he,
“fuck! that’s it doll, milk my cock with your pretty pussy.” he removes his hand from your mouth, letting out a feral growl as he continues to fuck you through your orgasm. he finally lets out a loud groan, his cock pulsing inside of you before he pulls out of you quickly, cumming right on your stomach.
you watch in awe as he comes undone before you. you’re out of breath, deprived of not just air but his cum. you lick your lips at the sight of his cock splurting out strings and strings of warm cum. you would catch any in your mouth if you can, but you just sit here, smiling softly at him.
he looks down at you, panting heavily as he watches his cum drip from on top of your stomach. he carefully maneuvers over to damn near sit on your chest, bringing his cock up to your lips. “open up doll. you’re going to clean up my mess.”
you take his cock into your mouth as soon as he says to, and you look up at him through your lashes. you can see him very briefly checking his phone on the nightstand to make sure if it’s still recording and if it’s a good angle for the camera to capture. you close your eyes and take him deeper into your throat, humming around him. you seem to have missed his cock in your mouth at all, and now that it is, you want to clean up every last drop until he’s clean.
he lets out a content sigh, one hand finding its way to the back of your head—forcing you to take it deeper. he smirks as he watches you, his hips moving back and forth to meet your pace before he pulls away, “who do you belong to?”
you were rafe’s property. and he was yours.
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cursedcola · 9 months ago
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Prompt: "Will You Marry Me?"- Proposal Headcannons Characters: Everyone :) Part(s): Heartslabyul, Savanaclaw, Octavinelle, Scarabia, Pomefiore, Ignihyde, Diasomnia (Pt.1 !) (Pt.2 Here!) Fandom: Twisted Wonderland Warning(s): None. I mean, unless you don't want to marry any of them. Just don't read if that's the case. ALSO SLIGHT SPOILER FOR CHAPTER 7 IN SILVER Note: These are all if he is the one proposing btw. Also, I went overboard. I had to break Diasomnia into 2 parts because I exceeded tumblr's character limit. I have favorites I guess :/
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This man is a child masquerading as an adult. As in to say that he resists any illogical emotions until they bottle up and explode. The traditional pathway for finding a life partner typically follows: stranger -> acquaintance -> friend -> crush -> lover ->partner. You know, as it normally goes when bonds form.
Sebek....is not a textbook case in this regard. His path is a bit more customizable
stranger -> person he is forced to interact with -> acquaintance of Lord Malleus -> Acquaintance of Lord Malleus that Sebek approves of -> Friend that Lord Malleus approves of -> Repressed Crush -> Acquaintance that Sebek avoids at all costs -> Acknowledged crush -> Acknowledged crush that Lord Malleus approves of -> Respected individual with mitigated interactions -> Courting -> awkward situationship -> lover -> awkward situationship (with better communication) -> spouse
Enough said.
This process isn’t as complicated as it may seem on paper. While there are many steps, Sebek is fortunate enough to have people in his life willing to force commitments onto him. It also helps that he has blind trust in a select few. This makes him a bit naive and easily influenced. A boon in the right hands, and a bane in others.
In short, Sebek is emotionally constipated and only acts when there’s a driving force. Otherwise he just gets frustrated. This is extremely apparent at two stages: ‘repressed crush’ and ‘awkward situationship’. Scratch that. Three stages.
Beginning at ‘repressed crush’ - Sebek realizes that he likes you when you ask about how his training is going. He happened by your dorm during his morning jog, and was more than happy to go off on a tangent of the strict regimen developed to forge a perfect knight.
Except that’s not what you wanted to hear. You were more interested in his health and how he was enjoying himself rather than how his work was benefitting Malleus.
His heart fluttered, as if a shock of electricity thrummed through his body. Having never felt this before, Sebek mistakes it for a lapse in his strength and runs off at a much faster speed than before. Forget a light jog, he had enough energy to run 500 laps around the school track.
Don’t you get it human?! You were distracting him! His body was at rest too long. Now shoo, you’re hindering him from doing his duty.
He represses these budding romantic feelings and ‘misinterprets’ them as deviant behavior. He even goes so far as to blame it on ‘useless hormones’ and convinces himself that it’ll pass. He spares it no thought until his pining becomes apparent to everyone except for himself
Que the driving force. Despite Sebek believing otherwise, he does have friends and his entire love-life can be credited to their affectionate stupidity.
Simply put, Ace takes every chance to seamlessly flirt with you whenever Sebek is around. Not in a subtle way either - he's making some risky comments and trying to eat up every moment of your time. The others in your year are well aware of what he's doing too. Deuce thinks he's being unnecessary, but also agrees that Sebek needs a push so he lets it happen. Epel has his gripes with Sebek, but admires him for his manly tenacity. So he's 100% in support of giving an extra push and even tries to copy Ace. Except... yeah, he's pretty bad at flirting so he gives up after one try. Jack is against it at first, not wanting to hurt your feelings in the process but gets talked into it after seeing you get salty over Sebek being distant. Ortho, bless his innocent soul, thinks of it as a fun experiment. Lil guy just wants everyone to be happy.
You have no idea though, which is great because all of Ace's attempts fail hardcore. Sebek and his chivalrous ways (jealousy) won't stand by if you're being constantly bombarded with 'unwanted' romantic affections.
Nevermind that you don't seem to be taking Ace seriously at all. It is still not proper behavior! It would be a stain to his Lord's image if Sebek knowingly let Malleus' beloved friend endure such a hardship.
Every time Ace makes an attempt, Sebek shuts him down faster than you ever could. You have no idea how he does it, but Sebek is always around when it happens. The timing is honestly creepy....until you catch on to what's happening because the Ramshackle prefect isn't a dumdum.
"So....prefect, how about we go get dinner together tomorrow? Just you and me, what do ya say?" Ace slides into the seat to your right during breakfast. He leans in on his fist, eyeing you with a mischievous grin that crinkles the heart on his cheek. Just as he does, Sebek occupies the seat at your left and pushes Ace back with his palm.
"Do you ever rest?! They will do no such thing, now eat your meal before it runs cold. The chefs worked too hard for their efforts to be wasted by a delinquent!" Sebek answers on your behalf like clockwork. This event was not an uncommon sight to anyone, neither was Sebek failing to control his volume, so no other student paid the show any mind.
Normally you'd let them spit a few words at each other before returning to their own devices. Yet letting this continue just felt cruel, especially knowing that Ace was doing it to get a rise from your friend. Although Sebek wasn't innocent in the matter either
"Alright - Ace, would you knock it off? You don't even like me that way so quit messing with my head. I thought you were better than this," you say in between bites, side-eyeing your friend with a disapproving glare "And you!" you turn to Sebek, "I can answer for myself. Why do you even care? It's not like you're in charge of my love life. Just because someone wants to date me doesn't make them a delinquent...sheesh"
Why...why does he care? Sebek short circuits at your scolding, opening and closing his mouth to rebuttal yet coming up with nothing. Angered by his own turmoil, he grabs his meal and goes to sit with others from his dorm.
Stupid human. How dare you be so haughty and ungrateful? He was just protecting you from....from, what exactly? It's not like you going out with Ace would impact him in any way. It's not like you were in danger or upset with his advances. If anything. he was doing a good job at keeping your relationship professional for the sake of his liege!
Go ahead and date that childish hooligan for all he cares! Sebek won't be there to protect you when you're lost, or lend you a scarf on cold winter days. Ace can be the one to call you before bed every night, and keep your yearbook photo on his desk. Possibly keep his favorite candid photo as a bookmark for his diary, not that Sebek would know anyone that keeps a journal. He can have your birthday written in his calendar with a heart drawn around it, and have your picture in his wristwatch. He can set alarms to know when your classes end and walk you home. He can worry when you're sick and listen to your obnoxious prying....he can receive all your affections, and have your loyalty. Listen to your silly ramblings and receive those random 'i just thought of you' presents that Sebek always has a dilemma over what their purpose serves
You can be Ace's headache, and Sebek's heart will be lighter for it. These attachments he's formed were a lapse in judgement and will never be allowed again.
...
Sebek asks his lord for permission to court you. The next morning Malleus wakes to find the devotee bowed outside his bedroom, forehead attached to the floor and hands laid flat on the ground in reverence. Sebek proceeds to begin a long rant about how he's succumbed to his inner demons, and that he has sinned for letting another in his heart - Malleus cuts him off, happy to see love blossoming and interested to watch it all play out. He tells Sebek to take good care of you, before leaving. Meanwhile Sebek is sobbing at his lord's blessing
Once he's gathered himself, Sebek runs to your dorm and pounds on the door with fervor despite the early hour
Grim shakes you out of sleep, grumbling something about an 'annoying bastard' at the door before flopping back in bed. He shoves two pillows over his ears and tells you to fix the problem. That's when you hear the thumping, it's relentless and somehow sours your mood beyond what you thought possible. Mornings were not meant to exist on the weekend. So with an irritated groan, you slip on a robe over your pajamas and answer the door. A fist pauses in the air, moments from striking you. Sebek freezes momentarily, his body going ridged before coughing into his fist. A light blush dusts his cheeks.
“G-good morning, human. I apologize if I've disturbed your sleep, but I have an important announcement that cannot wait any longer" Sebeck studders, focusing on the door pane instead of your disheveled morning appearance.
“Alright" you sigh, resigning yourself to his whims, "what is it?"
Sebeck bows at the waist. "I am in love with you. Please accept my affections."
And so the motions continued on. A most unconventional pairing - possibly the hottest topic of the school year, in the words of Cater Diamond - was formed. Sebek was cautious of Ace at first, their previous spats leaving a bitter taste in his mouth. When he found out the truth, he was both appalled and grateful. So much that he scorned all his friends for weeks on end for pulling a stunt like that - but also thanking them. He apologizes for calling Ace a delinquent, and his heart changes a bit in response to their 'unique' display of care. Their intentions were good, and in the end it worked out. So he can pardon the indiscretion.
Life goes on until your relationship forms an 'awkward situationship'. The first time is brief. As it is with most cases of young love, the binding force that ties you to them crumbles. On earth it is highschool. In Twisted Wonderland it is NRC. Sebek knows where he's going - to serve the Draconias . The grey area is what you plan to do...because as much as his affections have grown, Sebek isn't willing to give up his dreams for you.
He's astonished when you decide to follow him to Briar Valley. He doesn't even have to breech the topic - arrangements were already being made without his input. You wouldn't be staying at the palace against his Lord's wishes. Instead a small cottage was built at a safe distance from the main city. Close enough for you to visit the castle, and far enough for you to feel comfortable and not out of place.
Seeing you taking his wants into consideration alters Sebek's perception of your relationship. You truly were lovers, and not a passing 'hormonal induced fling'. You loved him, and it's here when he truly begins to consider a forever. It was like the time when he first called your name, no longer calling you by 'prefect' or 'human'. He had done it many times in private, yet doing so to your face altered his brain chemistry. He loved the way your name rolled off his tongue, and the way your attention became his at the call.
Which leads us to the third and final major block-aid. Years have passed, and Sebek's well grown as an established knight for the Draconia family. He works alongside Silver, and many other comrades in arms. Everything is exactly as he dreamed. Malleus has become a beloved, strong king. Sebek is respected, and you are thriving as well. He didn't have much faith in your ability to last alone - it's not that he doubts your abilities, but he did doubt his people. When you first moved to Briar Valley Sebek was well aware that there were many like his past self - fae with a hatred for humans. He worried you would struggle to fit in.
Yet you surprised him. The tensions did exist against your kind, but you managed to card a space for yourself in Briar Valley with ease. You didn't even work in the palace, instead choosing to work towards becoming a children's teacher and work towards helping future generations of fae feel comfortable around humans.
His family adored you - with his mother in particular fawning over how Sebek fell down the same pipeline she did. His father offers you both advice on being an interspecies couple - and Sebek actually found himself listening.
Huh. Character growth. Is this what it's like to mature?
All is perfect, yet not. Sebek is forced to confront this when news travels that a human was attacked on their way to the palace. The dread that coursed through his veins was unlike anything Sebek's felt in his entire life. Under Malleus' rule, humans were slowly becoming more prevalent in Briar Valley. They hadn't mentioned your name specifically, but he jumped the gun.
Against his better judgement, Sebek abandons his post and rushed to the city's clinic. The injured human wasn't you, thank the seven, but the dread lingered. So he ran to the school you taught at and practically barged into your classroom. Luckily it was empty as the day was near end. Sebek hadn't known that yet still behaved recklessly.
He rushed to your side, talking faster than your brain could keep up with while checking over your body. He flipped topics like a teen trying to pick a college major - scolding you for worrying him, blubbering gibberish about how you'd no longer be allowed to walk alone, and myriad of other things.
Sebek was so shook, that he completely forgot about his knightly station. Malleus didn't punish him for abandoning his post. Not like it mattered, considering Sebek was already doing ample damage on his own. The realization hit him like a stone punch to the gut - there was a threat to his liege, and instead of focusing on apprehending the criminal he chose to find you.
Malleus' power or his dismissal of the matter meant little in the overall picture. Sebek failed. He's ashamed beyond belief.
and yet, he can't help but wonder what ight have been. What if you were the one attacked and he chose to stay? He would have failed you in that scenario.
He's surprised to find that the prospect his failure hurts just as much - if not more. His lord is powerful, and there are many to serve him. Your last moments could have been spent in a cold medical bed, surrounded by strangers. Fading away and taking Sebek's dreams with you.
............
Ah. Since when had that word become plural? His dream was always to serve Lord Malleus. Now there are more - he wants a family, and he wants to go to that play you were organizing with the valley's children next weekend. He wants to become a greater knight to protect the city that houses all the people he cares about. Again, plural. Lilia, Silver, his siblings and parents, all the human and fae who are loyal subjects to his most revered. You, and your decedents to come.
It's frightening. How valuable one's life can become. His always belonged to the Draconia bloodline to do with at they pleased - now Sebek's in pieces. Is he truly worthy of being a knight if he cannot give his whole heart?
He doesn't blame you for this. In his youth Sebek might have tossed your relationship aside in a heartbeat - that, or he might've demanded Malleus dismiss him and send him to repent in exile or whatever. Sebek has a problem with embellishing with dramatics.
BUT... he's more mature now. Mature enough to realize that maybe he can have his cake and eat it too.
So, he asks Lilia for advice. At this time the general merely lazes around the castle like a bat on the wall - acting as an advisor and observer. Surely he'd know what to do.
"There is nothing wrong with sharing a heart amongst many. If anything, the toughest decisions make us stronger. The more you have to lose, the stronger you will become to protect"
Preach it grandpappy. Lilia wants to see his grandkids so stop the slow burn already.
It's deja vu because Sebek wants to propose as quick as possible. Just like when he confessed, the man nearly runs to your home on impulse. You can thank Lilia for your proposal not taking place at 3am with your door being broke in two (Sebek is much stronger than he was in his teens, and sometimes miscalculates his strength).
Instead, Sebek finds himself anxiously clutching a ring in his pocket the following week. It was the night of a school play you were hosting - one he was looking forward to since you were so proud in your work. Ergo, Sebek felt pride as well by default.
How unfortunate that he can't focus on the show. With his mind reeling so much, it's taking all he has to sit quietly in the audience. His eyes follow your movements as you direct the kids, and for a brief moment you smile at him from the stage.
Zap. Alright. Don't clutch metal when you're a living thunderbolt. Duly noted. If anything the jolt of pain brings him back to reality.
When the play ends, and all the children have gone home with their families, he finds you back stage sweeping confetti. His plan was to congratulate you, and take you to a nice restaurant where he could do this properly.
Except he can't wait. When you turn around from putting the broom away, he's already taken a knee and holding the ring out. Those diligent gold iris' not pulling away for one moment, as he holds the ring out between two fingers and his other hand placed over his heart as if taking an oath.
"Before you say anything - You have sacrificed time and time again for my happiness - my efforts are insignificant in comparison. I have taken your patience for granted like a spoiled juvenile. There was a time when I found this kindness of yours unnecessary. I thought it a distraction - a test of my strength to fulfill my destiny. I see now that I was foolish”
Sebek pauses, grinding his teeth together in regret and anguish.
“I had not known fear until you. I have more to lose now than ever before. Last week I abandoned my post - my purpose- In that moment, all I could think about was if you’d been attacked, then my life would be over. You make me lose all sense of logic and reason…so I demand that you take responsibility and marry me!”
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{A gold band with an obsidian base. Gold and silver flakes are sealed atop the obsidian plate using resin. Very practical, yet charming nonetheless. Humans typically wear matching bands, yes? Sebek sees no purpose in getting separate designs since the point is to show proof of partnership. He needs a practical shape that will not interfere with combat, yet also wants it to be an aesthetic choice. Sebek could care less about looks, but if he’s going to give you a ring then it will be the best possible option to match to your worth}
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Silver is beautiful like still ocean waters. He's breathtaking - literally and figuratively. With the beauty of a fairytale prince, personality of a wise knight, and deadliness of the deep sea. It's easy to be sucked in when Silver seemingly has no flaws. So easy that at one point there were rumors of him being a living doll, created by the fae to be a perfect solider.
These perceptions all rely on his outward appearance: the knight in shining armor. Albeit so, being so perfect almost makes him unnoticeable. Compared to his rowdy peers with quirks and notable personalities - Silver truly is a doll. Like the complacent child praised for being more mature than their siblings. He is as easily forgotten as he is admired.
Some would say that this is a flaw in itself - because no one is naturally perfect. No one is so complacent and calm at birth. It's simply a desirable flaw. One that hurts him, yet has ben praised by others.
Silver is strong. Silver is diligent. Silver is beautiful. Silver is breathtaking and yet not the showstopper - like gold. Gold brings warmth while silver is cold. Imperfections in gold give it character, and can be seen as art. Imperfections in silver are seen as unsightly scratches.
Silver knows this, yet doesn't want to be gold. He doesn't deserve to be gold.
Silver doesn't deserve anything. He has already taken so much simply by living. He has a world to be grateful for, and not enough time to repay his debts.
He is content being Silver - if he could then he'd be copper. Lesser. Yet he is Silver, a reminder of the blood he carries.
He will remain unremarkable yet dedicated. He will dedicate everything to his family and friends - do whatever he can to break free of his sleeping curse and help others. He will give until he cannot give anymore. Then he will give more, to repay all he has received.
....For as much as he is content with this life, Silver still envies gold.
You are beautiful like a new dawn. Ushering in each day with a vibrant display that commands attention. People instinctively admire you despite the risk of hurting their eyes. You heal the world naturally, and help others simply by existing. People take you for granted, because inevitably the moon will rise, and the cold will inevitably return.
You were bathed in golden light. This Silver noticed the moment he laid eyes on you. He couldn't tear his eyes away.
Silver envies gold.
........
You envy Silver. His calm, his family, his dedication despite being limited by his crippling drowsiness. Out of the students from Diasomnia, he was the one you lingered towards more often than not. The freshmen revered him for his skills, and he was a true gentle soul. You at first couldn't believe that he was Lilia's son - how did such a kind boy come from a rambunctious tease? Revelations of his past brought much to light, and now you couldn't think of him being anyone else.
Silver was loved like the first snowfall. He had a family that loved him dearly, no matter how short his time with them would be. He was raised to bring happiness to others, and protect their hearts using his demure temperament.
Silver was modest, and silver glistened when you'd expect him to the least. As the wind caressed his hair during an afternoon siesta, or sparks lit in his eyes while swinging his sword. How the horses nuzzle his side after equestrian practice, showing full trust and affection. Even in the sweat dripping from his brow, shining as he easily finishes a set of push ups.
Yet nothing struck your heart more than the melancholy he'd emit when no one was looking. How quickly he'd fade into the background, only popping in when necessary or if someone gave him note. In these moments Silver gleamed brilliantly, yet a shadow put out his shine.
You thought the melancholy inviting. It felt so natural, so real. Except you believed it balanced dangerously between despair and serene. The larger question being which side would he evidently fall towards.
.........
Silver admires gold.
He couldn't stop the pull. He just couldn't. Not with how you seemingly watch him when no one else does. Who wouldn't feel special? With the way you take note of things he normally wouldn't think of, and recklessly delve into helping others with no regard for yourself. Whether you desire the trouble is beyond him - the matter is that you see every issue through. There isn't a soul who doesn't know of the ramshackle prefect.
Perhaps this is his torment to endure. To get a taste for what he could have been, and willingly be tied to it.
Silver stares into a vanity mirror, his expression neutral despite the growing emotions inside. A slightly tattered sheet is tied around his neck like a bib, covering his front and part of his back. A shiver runs down his spine as you comb through his hair, deftly trimming the edges with a pair of kitchen scissors with the precision of a professional. A shiver runs down his spine every time your fingers linger against his scalp, either from tucking stray strands or combing through layers with your fingertips.
Your expression is stern, eyes intensely focused as you cut around his ear, afraid to nick him in the process. He finds the expression adorable yet bites his tongue. Silver couldn't think those thoughts. Not when you offered to do this out of the kindness of your heart.
Nonetheless, his heart thrums. If it were possible he'd think the organ about to pop out at any moment.
"Finished!" you smile in satisfaction and tussle Silver's soft locks for good measure. In one fell swoop, you undo the knot around his neck and pull the makeshift apron off of him. Silver nods, a slight smile teasing the edge of his lips. He stands from the chair and steps over any hair on the floor, reaching for the broom to clean before you could think to. "Thank you. I no longer need to schedule with a barber. This will save much time," In truth he had no intentions for a haircut. Either himself or his father would trim the ends once they started interfering with his sight, but he was too busy as of late. You were the one to notice how his bangs hindered his vision, and offered to help. Silver couldn't bring himself to deny your kindness. "You really like it? Hehe. Y'know, maybe I should start a shop on campus? I only started doing this since there aren't any affordable salons....maybe with it I can finally afford to fix the guest room!" you cheer and prattle on about all the different possibilities. Occasionally you'll ask for Silver's input, or even give an off hand compliment about how he was the perfect 'test subject'. Your company is intoxicating, he realizes. Talking with you is as easy as drinking water. Before Silver realizes, night has fallen and you've fallen asleep on the couch. Despite his better judgement, he finds himself wandering the Ramshackle door. He compulsively cleans up the mess you'd both left behind during his visit, doing the dishes from dinner and rearranging things here and there. As he does so, Silver notes all the little improvements around the dorm. It feels more like a home than a school building. Then again you do live alone. He wonders how often you host visitors, and if you unknowingly ensnared them just as you've done to him. He covers your shoulders with a blanket and steps outside under the moonlight.
It’s cold.
...............
You wake up the following day to find all the windows shut, your living room clean, and a warm blanket covering your shoulders. Your eyes peer around for silver, yet turn up empty.
Of course. Silver has a dorm to return to and people that would miss him if he returned late.
Shuffling around the silent dorm, the rickey old floorboards creek underneath your weight. In manufactured motions, you brew a cup of tea and pour it into the only well-used cup from the cabinet.
As your cup brews, you sit at the table with the blanket still clutched tight over your shoulders.
The tea goes cold, yet you are warm.
................
Silver loves gold.
but silver and gold don't mix. The question always is: silver or gold? When deciding a piece of jewelry to match your skin tone, people will ask 'silver or gold'? The metals are not meant to mix because they clash. It's an outfit catastrophe.
Yet, Silver cannot help but wonder. As he lays with his head in your lap and the sun and silence coaxing him to slumber - what if an outfit existed to compliment both silver and gold?
"Silver..are you sleeping again?" you tap his cheek with one hand, and his eyes open instinctively. Despite his drowsiness he will always look for you. Yet right now he's never regretted the magnetic pull more. With the sun casting a golden overcast, you peer down at him from above with tender eyes typically reserved for one's child. Your glow is breathtaking, and he cannot help the sinking feeling in his stomach that he is unworthy. With such gentle hands combing across his scalp and eyes that look upon him so tenderly - he is afraid to steal your warmth. And yet… "You are beautiful," Silver lets it slip, his hand reaching to brush against your jaw as if under a spell. He feels unnervingly calm. Not in his usual way, where he is constantly observing and playing a game of mental chess. This is a true calm, and he knows now that this is a point of no return.
Silver is beautiful like a still ocean. You are beautiful like the rising sun. When combined, a perfect image is formed just waiting for an artist to stumble upon it.
Against his wishes, the world has granted the child of dawn another gift. The gift of true love. 'True love's kiss will break the curse' and while it is childish to believe so in this case, Silver does so wholeheartedly.
When with you, the days pass like minutes. He wants nothing more than to forgo need for sleep, if only to work harder towards becoming a man worthy.
Silver envies gold for it's effortless demand for love, yet he no longer wants to be gold. He no longer wishes he were born copper.
Gold loves silver, so Silver he will be.
And with time, both Silver and Gold will be ground to dust regardless.
He thinks of this on a winter evening while holding a ring up into the moonlight. It's cold outside, yet he doesn't mind. The chill atop his nose does nothing but tinge it a lovely rosy color.
He looks through the windowpane into a home masquerading as a school building. His reflection is familiar yet changing rapidly in comparison to his family. The years have aged him, yet not by much. Silver is stronger, his soft jaw a bit sharper. His bangs have grown long again, it would soon be time for a cut. Perhaps he'd enlist a 'barber' after relocating back to the castle in briar valley.
Inside you sit at the couch, sipping from a well-used mug with Grim on your lap and watching cartoons. Silver's bag rests on the armchair, unzipped with nightly necessities spilling out the side. A slightly newer baby blue mug sits on the coffee table, with steam evaporating into the air as it waits to be used.
Silver smiles, walking towards the door and walking inside. Heat warms his cheeks and he is calm.
"I know I am unworthy of you, the thought plagues me to this very moment. Yet I cannot help but love you - like wishing on a star yet knowing deep in the depths of your heart that miracles are made not granted. I've received many, so I would know. My father gifted me life through love - and with you I understand how it is possible. I cannot imagine life without you. I promise this, I will cherish you and protect you for as long as you allow it. Would you marry me?"
Months later a ceremony is held in a secluded forest, in the yard of a cottage where a child first learned love. As an adult, he joins his most precious in matrimony, offering his sword to be sworn faithful.
You are beautiful like the first breech of daylight - and for once, Silver is happy to be a man of dawn.
Silver and gold.
Silver and gold.
Everyone wishes for silver and gold.
How do you measure it's worth?
Just by the pleasure it gives here on earth.
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{A ring forged from a silver band, gold leaf embellishments, and a moss agate core. Enough said.}
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