#i need to see how long i have spent thinking abt this person in the past thirty days

[luck-of-the-drawings]

OH ARTHUR BENNETT.. such a gorgeous and intriguing character. terribly burdened by a GRUESOME set of crimes, his light suffocated by a HEAVY century of GUILT. so tragic, so dark and broody, and yet PAINFULLY awkward in any social setting ever

[noxtivagus]

i've been less shy lately so damn i realized how. idk how to say it. wait

[exopelagic]

I have the curse of so much to say all the time I should rlly get a diary

[sadlazzle]

this is the first time ive gone 24 hours without smoking since i was like 14. pray for me

[scnderlands]

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ SMALL DRABBLE

authors notes — okay I haven’t been able to stop thinking abt jiyan so i needed to get a post out asap!! I thought this up while in the shower so like…yk, no need to explain anymore

content warnings + tags — MINORS / BLANK BLOGS DNI, gender neutral reader, sfw, honestly just wholesome (?) stuff

jiyan wasn’t exactly a homely person, most of his time was spent on the frontlines or in a base somewhere, and most of the time he didn’t mind that.

lately though, he’d been overhearing a lot of his soldiers talking about home. how they couldn’t wait to make it back to their significant others, to their children, to the rest of their families — how the only thing keeping them going was the idea of going back home; and jiyan couldn’t help but notice the way his chest felt crushed every time he heard it.

he wasn’t sure what it was, whether it was some form of jealousy because they had what he didn’t, or whether it was sadness because they had to leave their families behind to defend against the constant TD outbreaks.

it wasn’t until he met you that he started really feeling not having anyone around him like all his soldiers had. he’d notice how much he longed to have you around once he was alone, how he needed to hear your laugh and the silly stories you told to boost morale. he longed to have you sat next to him even if it were even in silence.

eventually, you became his home, even when he was away from the city. you were the significant other, family, and friend he needed — you were the everything that everyone else had and he didn’t know he needed.

jiyan started coming to your tent often, a lot of the time he went with the idea of talking, of venting some of his frustrations but most of the time he’d just sit beside you silently. of course, you didn’t mind, you knew that sometimes he just needed the quiet company of someone else — an escape from what his daily life was and what the world had become.

“hey, jiyan?” your hand rested on the top of his as he sat on your bed beside you.

he looked over with a blank expression, but you could still see the sadness and tiredness in his eyes.

instead of speaking you just smiled and pulled his head down towards your lap, and he didn’t fight back.

“it’s okay, jiyan…it’s okay.” you stroked the back of his head and let your fingers weave through his hair.

jiyan let out a long sigh, something he felt like he’d been holding in for years, finally not having to wear a strong mask around his soldiers so they couldn’t see he was just as worn out as they were. his hand moved up and gripped at your thigh, and you could feel his entire body relax under your hand. a decade of stress feeling like it was finally able to fall from his shoulders, something he no longer had to bare alone.

nowadays jiyan could subtly smile at the conversations he overheard, he could relate to what they were saying, how they felt. he knew what it was to have something, someone, he wanted to protect more than the world. his chest no longer had that pang of pain, instead his heart felt like it was getting fuller and fuller with each passing day.

finally, jiyan had a home.

and you were it.

[rowretro]

𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐨𝐝𝐠𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐬

An enha reactions

Warnings: None I think other than kissing, not proof read saur do tell me if i do need to warn abt anyth

HEESEUNG:

The male had spent the whole day streaming and gaming while you were patiently waiting for him to finally notice you and shower you in love. And exactly how long did your patience last?... luckily for you, Heeseung had just ended his stream, leaving his PC to find you. There you were sitting on the sofa munching on marshmallows...

"Oh darling~ you waited for me?" Heeseung asked with a smile as he leaned in to kiss your cheek. However, instead of letting him, you moved well away from his lips, making him fall forward, and kiss the butt-warmed seat on the sofa instead. "Oh darling, you only just noticed that you r dear girlfriend had waited a whole 5 hours while you gamed and replied to all those girls's comments?! wAh hEEsEunG oPpAr sO hANDsOme~ Oh hEE bE mInE, hEESeUng nOtICe mEEEE" you poutily imitated as Heeseung snickerred.

"God you're so fucking cute baby~" He simply said as you frowned at him. He simply pulled you into his embrace, despite your protests, his lips now pressed against your lips, as he kissed you passionately, pulling away moments later, having you yearn for his soft lips again. "I'm sorry for not paying you enough attention, but I'm all yours now mkay baby?" Heeseung smiled, as he kissed you yet again.

JAY:

It's midnight, and you're alone, waiting on the sofa, yet again. He said he'll finish at 6, he promised you that he will have time for you, but he's still not home. You couldn't be mad at him, if anything, being a CEO is pretty hard, especially after the recent scandal in his company. Jay had a lot of cleaning up to do, even though he didn't cause the mess in the first place.

These recent days, Jay hasn't paid any attention to you, he's become pretty cold and distant, and it's really upsetting you. Your thoughts were interrupted by the front door opening. In walked an exhausted Jay, he put down his items, slipped of his shoes, and hugged you. "You didnt have to wait all night- " Jay said as he leaned in to kiss you, but you pulled away before his lips even landed on yours.

"I did have to- you said you will be here at 6 but its way past the time... Jay- you never have time for me- you know- if you have any problems at work I can help you right, even if I cant- at least tell me, i can listen... you've become so cold these recent days its really upsetting..." You finally blurted as Jay sighed and kissed you slightly with force. "first, dont ever dodge my kisses baby, you know my lips too well to make a ballsy move... and second... i've just been a little to busy dealing with the aftermath of the scandal babe, i swear in a week or so, everything will be back to normal ok?" jay reassured as you kissed yet again.

JAKE:

There was no reason why, this boy is a simp, a lover boy, he's head over heels for you and is there at your every call.  But you, being the oh-so-perfect girlfriend you are, just had to try this prank on him. You were expecting him to be a big pouty baby, get all sulky or be extra clingy, but you also had a feeling... he might surprise you.

The moment he got home from practice, he greeted you with a big hug and a loving kiss, to which you pulled away from him. "wah- I- babe wait let me kiss you-" Jake cluelessly said as he tried to kiss you again, too bad you dodged it again, just the realization hit him, in the mirror he saw your little smirk and boy was you messing with the wrong person.

His arms wrapped tightly around your waist as he trailed open mouth kisses up your shoulder, stopping by your lips. He turned you around and kissed you messily, taking you by shock, he lifted you off the ground and carried you to the sofa. "Would you dodge my kisses again princess?" Jake asked as he tilted his head a little. "If dodging your kisses gets me that  then yes hell yes!" You smiled as Jake kissed you softly, seeing how cute you are.

SUNGHOON:

Sunghoon isnt always a PDA kind of guy, but he's still extremely sweet. There are times he gets very clingy, and those are times that you should cherrish. You were sitting on the sofa scrolling through your phone, when you felt Sunghoon sit right beside you. He rested his chin on your shoulder and wrapped his arms around your waist, making you blush. "What are you up to?" he asked, staring up at your eyes,  as your heart flutterred at the action. Boy he was making it so hard for you to do the prank.

"Just chillin-" you said as Sunghoon leaned in for a kiss, to which you ducked, as he froze "Did you just..." Sunghoon trailed off as he narrowed his eyes at you, within seconds he had your arms pinned above your head "Try dodging this." He said as he continuously kissed you on your lips, bruising them a little, and trailing wet kisses down your chest. "You think your little pranks will work on me baby? you're messin with the pro here missy." Sunghoon warned as he left you gasping for air.

Sunoo

You wouldn't dare do something so stupid without a reason. I mean why would you?! he's Sunoo, he'd always kisses you anytime anywhere, the man showers you with love, he spoils you rotten. However, these recent days Sunoo has been giving you extra attitude, he has become pretty rude and EXTREMELY sassy. It's just getting on your fucking nerves, what happened to "I love you y/n" or those cute, cheesy compliments and texts he spams you with. You had it with his chaos... So you decided to give him a taste of his own medicine.

He came back from work a little earlier than usual, coming home thinking he would receive a sweet, loving kiss from his girlfriend... But instead he came back to nothing.  A little confused, he frowned and called out for you when he did find you, he leaned in to kiss you, but was taken aback when you pulled away, going to the other side of the bed to fold some clothes.  "What?" you plainly replied to which he scoffed, he didn't know what you're game was but there's no way you're giving HIM any attitude.

"Oh nothing-" Sunoo smiled, simply pulling out your favourite snack hoping that you'll crack. "One kiss is all it takes sweetie..." Sunoo simply said as You narrowed your eyes at him "If you want a kiss why don'tchu come get it yourself?" you asked as you started running, but to your dismay he knew your game, catching you in the doorframe, his arm tightly wrapped around your waist as he leaned down to kiss you rather roughly. After a little he pulled away and walked off  as if nothing happened.

Jungwon

There was no specific reason why you decided to prank him... well- except for that time he had ruined your favourite Spotify playlist with your favourite songs being replaced by Justin Bieber songs... Ok he's a menace, so you had to get him back, take something he loves and make it torment him for the rest of his life...

It was simple, you're something or well someone he loves, and you can also be annoying. Jungwon had just taken a long shower, slipping into the seat beside you. You were focused on the TV, rewatching modern family. Jungwon rested his head on your shoulder, playing with your hand noticing that you seem a little distant. The male leaned in to kiss you, though his cologne is so alluring, and you want nothing more than to be in his embrace, you had to fight your own urges.  

As he leaned into kiss you, you pulled away, going to the far end of the sofa. Jungwon frowned, clearly not liking your ignorance. He yet again tried to kiss you, getting in the way of your view, but you dodged it again, your focus solely on the TV. Jungwon simply carried you, your legs straddling his waist as you immediately snuggled into his chest. Jungwon placed a little kiss on your forehead, snuggling you close to him. he's a little menace... but he's your menace.

Niki

Riki was overly annoying at times, purposely testing your patience, teasing you for your height stealing your snacks. Moving in with him was rough, but you tried to be as calm as you can. So what are you going to lash out at him? yell at him? argue? no... you were going to speak to him in his language. no mater how much he teases you, you can't deny that you love those things...

You had been acting a little cold the whole day, though he didn't take it, constantly towering over you, trapping you between himself and whatever surface you were near, just to ask you a question. As you were sitting on your bed, doing something on your laptop, Riki sat down beside you, wrapping his arms around your waist lovingly.

He leaned down to kiss your forehead, only for you to pull away and sit on the other end of the bed. "Is this one of those tik tok pranks or are you mad?" Riki asked, as he sat beside you yet again. "what?" you asked not even looking his way. "Whatever it's not gonna stop me" Riki smirked, placing the laptop elsewhere, pinning you down and showering you with kisses, trapping you with his body. "You going to avoid my kisses from now?" Riki asked as you caught your breath.

"Well if avoiding one kiss gets me infinity then yes I will" You smiled as riki placed a soft peck on your lips, snuggling you.

too long?

[celiafufflie]

OC that I made which was heavily inspired from @jazjelspen's platonic x reader fic "My Angel Baby" cause I love it a lot! if u haven't read it give it a it's soo good!!;;

ok idk more info abt her again below the cut ((it might be long)):

--

After being killed by the one person who she admired, respected, and loved the most, Elise spent her first few years in Heaven feeling miserable as she felt like everything that she'd experienced and lived through with her beloved father was all a lie. It was depressing.

Of course she wouldn't show her pitiful state with the others, why would she? They're in heaven, it should be the happiest place anyone could possibly be in! No need to be a bother.

Emily, being the seraphim who's job is to bring joy to all of heaven, saw through Elise's front. 

Having dealt with some poor mortal souls similar to her before, Emily zeroes in on Elise and does her best to keep her from being left on her own thoughts, always including Elise to anything she thinks she would like and find fun. (Elise initially didn’t want to, though she also couldn’t say no. Emily was so sweet and kind, and that makes her guilty.)

It somewhat helped as Elise’s focus shifted on Emily’s efforts, something that she’ll eventually grow fond of. This kept up until they became best friends! …somehow.

Elise seeing what Emily does daily as a Seraphim? Very admirable. But also Elise decided that she wanted to help Emily with bringing happiness and peace to others, making them both always together almost everyday.

It was taxing, but knowing that Emily does this all on her own, Elise would keep on helping her as Emily has helped her before. Plus, doing this with Emily helped her meet interesting people! Like St.Peter! Or maybe Ruth– or Troy! (the guy who dutifully keeps heaven’s dog park clean, bless you Troy)

Or… Adam? He leaves a lot to be desired.

She also met this really pretty, and sweet, older woman that kind of makes her feel somewhat nostalgic. Elise likes her a lot, and the woman also seems to feel likewise! She’d often invite the younger girl over for tea and such, something she’s always happy to attend to. Unfortunately it was an occasional thing as she’d dedicated herself to assisting Emily with her duties.

That was how her (after)life went by as decades passed in Heaven.

Though… Elise sometimes still thinks of him, her father. He’s down in hell, damned for eternity for all the sins and deceit that he’s committed. Deserving for Alastor, fitting for the monster that he truly was.

They both will never meet ever again, and she strongly believed in that.

…

Oh…

How much she misses her beloved father.

[danielmolloyshole]

@ahubofreadersandmagicians:

Why would Daniel hate Marius? He’s already read the “forced prostitution” and “Marius de Romanus” folders from the Talamasca’s Armand file, we’ve seen them. His only response was to shame Armand for talking abt the Arun/Amadeo days and imply he was lying. Even knowing Armand was telling the truth. Daniel’s bad w/abuse victims generally and hates Armand. Sadly, I think he’ll be ok with Marius.

This got stupid long and also needs to broken into parts to try to minimize how all over the place I am so let's gooo. Friendly disclaimer that this is my opinion but I am literally trained in media analysis like this so I promise I am coming from a place of knowledge. I'm gonna start with my interpretation of Daniel's character and go from there.

RE; Daniel is bad with abuse victims

I'm assuming you are saying this because of how Daniel talks to Luis about his abuse. The way Daniel approaches this topic is, frankly, awful. Daniel is not good at it. However, he is not supportive of it. He calls Lestat out on how badly he was treating Luis, the racial dynamic (again, said in a really bad way but later we do see Lestat minimizing Luis's feelings about how he is treated as a black man so he wasn't wrong). I also think about the rent boy line, which to me was more directed as a snide remark at Luis and his assumption of what their relationship is. Not saying it wasn't also supposed to be a jab at Fake Rashid (by this point he is suspicious and annoyed and staring all the time and in general does not know what to make of him, which Daniel doesn't like), but Daniel was in active conversation with Luis and not Fake Rashid. Daniel is mean, this is not in contention. He is not a good person. But he does not ignore or get down with abuse and instead calls it out into the room, both explicitly and implied.

RE; Daniel's Past & Hating Armand

Now, what informs the fact that Daniel is such a bitch, especially when he is chasing the high of bringing out the truth? Working under the assumption of my previous post, Devil's Minion has happened. The evidence of such is, in my opinion, scattered throughout both seasons and would be a whole other post to detail. This, in my opinion, is supported by comments made by the actors and show runners that imply they have purposefully planted seeds. All I have to work with in terms of analysis right now is the book and these seeds and my last post stated that we are treating the Devil's Minion chapter as canon up until Daniel's turning, at which point Armand would have erased his memories. This implies that from 1973 until 1985, the ages of 20 and 35, Daniel's memories are incomplete. Imagine your most developmental years as an adult are now so full of holes that you wrote a memoir about how inconsistent your memory is. Your first love, your first heartbreak, the first time you debased yourself for someone's love, the first time you really fucked up with someone, countless mistakes now altered. Any self-actualization that would have made Daniel a better person is now incomplete. This includes the memory of Daniel fucking a girl with a bag on her head. It is a shameful memory, that's why Armand brings it out, but as a twenty year-old shitty kid from Modesto, Daniel might not have fully conceptualized how ashamed he is of it until it is used as weapon against him. Assuming the memories begin to return next season, either in partial or in full, this would mean that Daniel would suddenly have a much fuller context of his trauma and why he does what he does. Eric Bogosian mentioned in an interview that both he and Daniel have forgotten trauma and I do not believe San Francisco is the end of that trauma. A relationship as volatile as Armand and Daniel's, influenced by drugs and blood and danger, would hold just as much trauma if not more than the six days spent in that apartment. Bogosian went on to say that those traumas influence how someone acts and interacts without even being aware of it. I believe a lot of the development we're gonna see in Daniel is him reconciling the mean, tear-it-all-down journalist with the man he was at the height of his affair with Armand. We've already seen heightened emotion from his Paris memory (another tangent but I do not believe Alice is Armand but rather that this specific memory was altered. Daniel cares a lot less about the memory of Alice telling him she's pregnant so the inconsistency is odd).  Daniel is going to need character development moving forward. Does this mean he's going to stop being an asshole? No. He's still an asshole. I just think he'll be a different kind of asshole.

RE; Daniel Shaming Armand

I don't interpret that Arun/Amadeo line as shaming him, exactly. Asking where the lies start, implying the Arun dynamic was something of a sham (master when it's hot and convenient, etc), yeah. He's in the throes of bringing down the castle of lies, he's gotten his hit, he's basically high on exposing the truth. To me, especially given how he looks at Armand while he's on the floor, I don't think Daniel hates Armand. In book canon, it's said that he could only feel ravening desire and it is my opinion that that remains true. Daniel was gloating until the high wore off and then he was at the very least incredibly shook and definitely not making a move to rub it in Armand's face that he won.

RE; Daniel hating Marius

The show has set Marius up to be a pedophilic groomer. I don't even know if grooming was a widely-used term in the seventies but they dropped it in there and modern sensibilities make that very purposeful writing. Daniel, as stated before, does call out abusive behavior. Is he doing it in a way that reduces harm? Fuck no. Is he hurting everyone in the way he does it? Absolutely. But he has shown no evidence of being supportive of abusers and Marius has been set up explicitly as an abuser.

RE; Conclusion

Daniel Molloy is not a good person but he is not an abuser and there is no evidence that suggests he would love Marius or be in any way supportive of his actions. This is true in particular with Armand, since it is now well-established that they will have a romantic relationship in the future.

[rosinkreutz]

PLEEAAASEEEE elaborate on ur thoughts abt RK and R# that’s so fascinating. if u feel up to it ofc

This made me go back and look at Asuka's arcade mode transcript, which made me notice something interesting with the writing but I'll get back to it later. Also, for the record, R# is in fact the only clone. All the people RK fights in the arcade mode are a simulations created by R#, including the final boss. So, in typical Asuka fashion, RK does not tell R# why he made him, and R# naturally wonders the meaning for his existence. He comes up with a few ideas. RK says it's because he wanted to see if he could make a perfect lifeform after seeing ABA and the Valentine sisters (what about Jackie...?). R# figures it's because RK was lonely after not seeing another living person for months. Both of these aren't wrong, but they don't get to the bottom of it. This leads R# to the following: His hypotheses. R# never says directly what they are, but does they involve the facts that R# likes himself and RK does not. These are both the true reasons for R#'s existence. RK wants to commit suicide, but feels like he can't because he has a duty to the world. So, he makes R#, a "better" version of himself to be his replacement. On the first point, if you're looking for any proof, see the following: 1.) Most obviously, this line from R#: "But at least tell me you'll keep walking. Even if you lose your way. As long as one person out there cares about you… It's worth it just to try to keep them happy." 2.) RK literally has to fight for his life against himself at the end of the arcade mode. 3.) R# is wearing the color scheme that has been synonymous with RK throughout the entirety of Guilty Gear, because RK intends for R# to be the "new" Asuka. But the point of Asuka's arcade mode isn't just R# trying to save RK, it's R# trying to show RK that he can't just rip out the parts of himself that he doesn't like. It harkons back to one of GG's big themes of self-actualization and one's sense of self. RK deliberately makes R# to be chatty, friendly, and to like himself, but goes on to be continuously surprised throughout the arcade mode that R# acts like a different person and not just "me but better". Because RK doesn't want to face himself, he doesn't want to self-reflect and comes to terms with who he is, he just wants to tear it apart and be done with everything. The point R# is trying to make is that there is no "me but better". It's just him. If he's going to keep living, RK needs to accept all parts of himself, no matter how horrible he thinks they are. Which isn't to say that RK can't change, it just means he can't deny that parts of himself exist. After all, RK has spent pretty much 90% of his entire 200 or so years of life playing the role of a monster. He says in story mode that he's pretty much never done anything for himself. There's things that he likes and dislikes, but beyond that, he has no idea who he actually is. (In regards to the interesting thing I noticed- It's R# that uses the words "ethically bankrupt monster". RK just says "pathetic ineffectual nerd" to describe himself. Which feels like it should be the opposite in terms of severity. It might just go back to RK's rejection of himself, but it's not like RK isn't acutely aware of the first thing, and he obviously knows very well that it's the reason he wants to die and not the nerd thing. My theory is that he just thinks that he still has the mindset of the ends justifying the means, no matter the cost. He still feels like he needs to take care of the world, but just doesn't see a way that can always be done with a moral lens. Hence R# not having morals. Yeah he's doing it from a distance now with his radio show, but if a large Universal Will-level threat were to show up again, I highly doubt he'd just sit there. So, he wanted R# to have an easier time making the necessary decisions and not being tormented with them later.)

[parentsday]

Hiii! Since you asked about headcanons/analysis stuff:

There's a common interpretation on the fandom about Max's treatment of David in the early episodes coming, at least partially, from trust issues regarding adults/authority figures. And I've seen push back against it, too. People who say it's just because David is annoyingly positive. Nothing else.

And sure, I can see that. But Nikki also acts in a cheerful manner and mostly enjoys camp, and Max doesn't treat her with the level of rudeness he treated David in season one. This could be due to her being his little partner in crime, but idk. I always interpreted it as him thinking that David is some fake nice adult who will just let him down if he allows it.

And, while I was thinking about this, I realized how this interpretation of Max's behaviour towards David adds another heartbreaking layer to Parents day.

Max's perception of David started changing after Order of the sparrow, specifically after the "Somebody fucking has to" moment. For just a moment, the annoying, overly positive persona drops, and Max is able to see a nuanced human being. And it's clear that he starts understanding David a little more, because in Cult camp (literally the next episode), he allows himself to be brainwashed and trusts that David will save the camp (btw, we as a fandom don’t talk about this aspect of this episode enough).

So yeah, his perception of David changes for the better.

But then, parents day happens.

And David spends most of the episode being an absolute jerk, even if he doesn't realize it.

He pushes SO HARD to try and make the day perfect, basically ignores Max when he states that his parents aren't coming, gets way too serious about playing the role of Max's dad for the day, forces Max into the activities and then, at the end of a day that was already shitty for Max, he yells at him.

I think the context of Max's opinion on David finnaly becoming more positive makes this episode so much sadder.

Because it ceases to be just about Max's neglectful parents.

Now it's also about the closest thing he has to a trustworthy adult making him uncomfortable, ignoring his feelings and then yelling at him and telling him that he "has a bad attitude" and "brings everyone else down instead of trying just a little bit to have fun".

(Which are things he must have heard from adults before, if he behaves the way he does at camp in school and other places)

Remember in Friends like these when he said "Life's just one dissapointment after another. I can't belive I let myself forget it"? I think he might have had the same train of thought here: "I can't believe I let myself forget David is an asshole that only cares about impressing Campbell and making this stupid camp look good". Or: "I can't believe I let myself forget that every single adult thinks I'm a bad kid and a lost cause."

And I know it gets fixed quickly, with David apologizing shortly after, but still. I think the idea of Max being dissapointed at David in Parents day, even if it was just for some moments, is so good.

I also think this is the episode that comfirms to Max that David is genuinely a good person trying his best. He spent the entire day having to think about the fact that his parents suck, and then there's David, who is kind, apologizes for upsetting him and takes him to eat pizza and have a little heartfelt talk.

When was the last time his parents apologized to him, or cared about what he wanted/needed, or talked to him so gently?

The contrast between his parents and David is so big, and I think that's what makes Max finnaly go "Yeah, this guy isn't actually that bad."

(Sorry for rambling, omg.)

hi first of all thank u for an ask and such insightful one at it too !! this was an incredibly pleasant read and a lot of the stuff you say i personally find very good analysis of the show and agree with, however i do have some stuff to say abt it soo here we go ^-^ (this will be a long one so sorry about this in advance)

as i said in some previous reply, max is an incredibly peculiar guy when it comes to the way this show treats his trauma and the way he himself behaves as a result of it, and that’s by design! a lot of the thing he says and does in the first two seasons when it comes to david are there for reasons of narrative set up, and are later masterfully recontextualized by parents day later, leaving very little room for interpretation when it comes to how and why he operates. im gonna go out on a limb and say that i don’t think it’s a stretch to assume that most of his actions towards david in the early show stem from the childish born-from-trauma need for attention and also from his need for societal reinforcement of his own ego’s right to exist. when it comes to the first one i see most people agree (bc it’s a basic child psychology fact), but turn their noses in reference to the second one.

contrary to popular belief, max being in need of constant affirmation that he, as a person with little self value, deserves to exist next to other people is something that we see examples of constantly and is not a terrible part of his character that needs to be ignored. max is a neglect victim who from our knowledge is given very little attention by his parents, as a result of it he is a pessimistic asshole kid whose ego suffers from the very thing that made it this way. its in his strained relationship with nikki and neil, its in him arguing with david to put himself in the position of an adult, its him putting himself above others when it’s not needed and its in him putting his own egos safety first when time comes to accept that things are moving forward (two final episodes from both s3 and s4 are good examples of this). its not an inherently positive trait, but it is one okay for him to have by the virtue of being a young abused child with no support system, and denying it will leave him devoid of this characterization. in freudian (ugh) terms, we cannot separate his character’s superego from his id in a way that won’t harm the way he was intentionally written. Id, ego and superego are all influenced by our relationship with our parents, the amount of nurturing of a child's emotional and psychological needs parents does will result in the child’s psychological state forming a certain way, max as a character who is heavily reliant of his lackluster relationship with his parents is not devoid of this and it affects his relationship with david too. and the reason i’m saying all of this is exactly due to this.

david, when put in most simple terms, is a character who’s an adult figure present and mature enough in max’s current social position that it allows him to treat max as a child, something max is not used to. not used to to such an extent that it puts a strain on his ego in the process. david feeds his need for any form of attention, positive or not, just as much as he clips away at max’s need to be seen as socially important and in a position of an adult. it’s arguable if both of these are good or not but the main thing they are in relation to is obvious: max feels that being an adult who meets both of his psychological needs in ways that are unfamiliar to him makes david an untrustworthy person, thats exactly where you interpretation comes in clutch.

max and his behavior towards david cannot be separated from david being an adult, that is made clear with the way he treats nikki as an equal just because she is a person his age, despite her sharing a lot of david’s traits. going through the episodes you mentioned, order of the sparrow episode lets max see david perspective for the very first time. max is allowed to peek into the reason why david acts the way he does, however it alone doesn’t make him see david in a good light, if anything it makes him appear genuine in his actions. it also lets max have something for david that he didn’t have before: trust. it ends up being used in cult camp as a confirmation of it being something david can live up to (you are absolutely right, we really don’t talk abt this episode and it’s narrative weight enough). all of this has been adding onto the way max himself perceives david, parents day, however, lets both of them internalize the sentiment of mutual understanding towards each other together. parents day does this by lampshading max and david parallelism, making this whole episode consist of max seeing his parents in david just as much as david sees himself in max through the whole show and putting them in each others shoes by the end of it. the episode ends with david choosing max as a priority, he is still acting selfishly (once again david is an asshole) but choosing to do so towards max because the situation allows him to understand max the way s1 finale let max understand him. and with the final turning point in their dynamic, max understands that both his ego and need for attention can exist without them being reinforced by an adult treating him like he is an adult too. max was chosen as a priority for the very first time and that alone made him feel of more value than the treatment he initially yearned for would have. above all else parents day makes max see david as someone he can look up to as a person in emotional way, not only in a life or death situations, the shot of david from his perspective in the end making sure that we don’t miss it.

most of this is not me disagreeing with you, on the opposite i think a lot of the arguments you make are nice and are mindful interaction with the media. gold star for enjoying meta analysis to both of us i guess ⭐️. my main problem is, however, the fact that using all of this to basically say ‘maxs parents suck so he has a distain for david because of it’ is a heavy oversimplification that you somehow go against in your initial statement too and that i, personally, just don’t enjoy. this alone does not make your interpretation wrong though, if anything just reinforces your general idea into a more concrete argument rather than a collection of bits and pieces of evidence pointing to it. hope all of this made sense

tldr; man idk no summing up this one as to not take away from the overall statement im making with this. read the post 🫶

[notmyprey]

Ok, kinda sad idea but has a happy ish? ending (not sad in the fatal kinda way, just emotional lol)

So, 2 ppl are living together. Can be relationship or not. But, one is abt 4× the hight of the smaller one.

The taller person, as far as the smaller person knows, is just a bit strange. They still care for them, just some things they do weird them out. They constantly see the taller person staring at them and sometimes licking their lips. Its strange, but they brush it off.

One day, the taller person finally snaps, and decides to tell the smol person what's been going on. They say that they have been feeling the urge to eat the smaller person, but they dont cause they know they would hurt them and they wouldn't be able to live with themself if they did.

Of course, the smaller person now feels bad for the pred, so they start to think of things they could do to help.

Soon, the smaller person starts doing a few things to help the pred feel less hungry.

- they sit on top of the preds stomach under the preds shirt.

- they let the pred keep the preys hand in the preds mouth for a bit.

- they overall just stay closer to the pred cause the pred says it helps.

This continues for a long time, at least 5-6 months or more. The prey starts to get attached to the pred now, too. They secretly wish that the pred could eat them, but dont tell the pred since they know it would just make them feel bad.

One day, the pred comes home as happy as all can be. The prey asks why they are in such a good mood, and the pred responds that they have found a prey that wouldn't get hurt if they ate them. They continue, saying that the new prey is going to come over tomorrow for them to eat.

This is absolutely devastating to the prey, but they try to keep a smile on their face.

Tomorrow comes, and the prey has to watch as their pred eats someone else. The pred does nothing but talk about how wonderful this new prey is and how they are so happy to have met them.

The original prey can't help but go to their room and cry, feeling absolutely worthless, like the whole time they spent caring for the pred was not appropriated. They hate how easily they were replaced and want to do nothing but be in the new prey's place.

Now from here there are 2 separate endings, the second one has reform in it though, so I will put that under a cut.

Ending 1:

The pred, still full of the new prey, finds the old prey crying in their room. The pred comforts them and asks whats wrong, hugging them and trying to bring them closer. The old prey wants none of it, shoving themselves away. They cry as they tell the pred to leave and to enjoy their better replacement.

The pred didn't expect that. In their mind, the old prey was happy with what they were doing and didn't want anything more. They now realize, though, that the old prey did want more than what they had been doing for months.

The pred gets up out of the room and quickly throws up the new prey. They tell the new prey thank you, but they have something to do thats important and that they need to leave. After that, the pred goes back into the old prey's room. The prey is still crying. The pred once again pulls them into a hug, but this time lifts their shirt and places them where they normally go to help the pred.

The pred and prey sit like this for a while before the prey slowly calms down. The pred picks them up, holding the prey close still, and goes to the preds bed to fall asleep.

Ending 2:

(Tw: digestion with reform + a bit of suicidal thoughts in reference to wanting to be eaten and digested)

The old prey hides in their room for the rest of the night, even after the new prey leaves. The old prey can't be replaced, they desperately think to themself. They would rather die than be replaced. They find the pred, who does happen to be a deep sleeper, asleep. They force the way into the preds mouth and down their throat.

The prey nearly cries from joy when they reach the preds stomach. They let the stomach do what it wants, sinking into the plush folds. That's where the prey stayed, slowly melting away.

That was until they woke up in their bed the next morning.

Disappointed, thinking that was a dream, they go through their day, waiting for it to be night again. They continue to avoid the pred, still heartbroken from the betrayal. The pred tried to talk to them, but they were having none of it.

Finally, night came, and once again, the prey snucking to the preds room to get eaten. They slowly digest and can't be happier.

Morning comes again for the prey, with them again waking up in their bed. Now, they realize something is up.

For a week, the prey continues this pattern. Waiting for night, getting eaten by the pred, and waking up the next morning to do it again.

One night, they prey sneaks into the preds room again. But, when the prey shoves their head in the preds mouth, the pred wakes up. The pred pulls the prey away from them, not only shocked by them being in their mouth, but also that the prey is so close to them, even though they've been avoiding the pred all week.

The prey breaks down crying, and the pred brings the prey to their chest, hushing them and saying kind words. The prey reaches up to the preds mouth with their hand, pleading eyes fixated on their destination.

The pred shakes their head, saying they dont want to hurt them. The prey, without thinking, tells the pred its alright and that they will just reform by morning.

This shocks the pred, and they ask what the prey means by that. The prey sheepishly admits to sneaking in to be eaten by the pred each night. The pred has a look of horror as they realize what the prey had been doing. The pred holds the prey closer, crying, whispering that they are so sorry, over and over and over again.

[seventh-district]

Dying Star

In the back of your mind, you recall something you once heard, something about light, and time, and distance. Space. Something about... how you can still see a star that's already burnt out, because its light hasn't reached earth yet. The ghost of a star that's already died. Only still perceptible thanks to time, and distance.

You remember Sam's words, once whispered to you on this very roof.

"Whatever your choice is... I'm not gonna live forever. I made that decision a long time ago."

You think about dead stars.

You think about time.

- - - - - - -

Sam’s words have been weighing heavy on your mind ever since you discussed your shared future and the various forms it could take. You didn’t realize just how heavy they were until it all came spilling out of your tired mind on a late night spent together beneath the stars.

Pairing: Sam x Darlin' / Reader

Word Count: 4,053

Contains: [angst] [a dash of humor] [a hint of chubby!Sam bc i like 'em strong and soft] [crying] [cuddling (dub-con cuddles with Quinn in the past & consensual ones with Sam in the present)] [emotional hurt/comfort] [implied/referenced dub-con sex (nothing graphic) (in the past between Darlin' and Quinn to be specific) (refer to my Ao3 notes for further explanation)] [mentioned Quinn] [not quite Dissociation i guess but Darlin' does zone-out/get lost in thought more than once] [pet names (Darlin' (obvs.) and honey)] [Reader is Darlin'] [Sam wears a cowboy hat bc i said so] [some passive suicidality from Sam if you squint (hell, maybe you don't even have to squint)]

A/Ns: Well, well, well, here I am, the person who said they wouldn't write any Redactedverse fanfic. I recently felt a mighty need to expand upon the blurb I wrote in this post, and I'm braving my fandom anxiety by sharing it here. pls be nice 2 me abt it

Timeline-wise, this fic takes place sometime after the ‘Talking About the Future With Your Vampire Mate’ audio but sometime before their presumed eventual departure from the house that William gave Sam, given that they've already had the 'turning' discussion but are still on the same roof in this fic.

This is a songfic, inspired by and quoting verses from 3 songs. Those being:

‘Dying Star’ by Ashnikko feat. Ethel Cain

‘Fix What You Didn’t Break’ by Nate Smith

‘No Plan’ by Hozier

The roof of Sam’s house is far from a ‘cushy’ place to relax. But as you lie here next to him under the stars, a knowledge settles within you that you wouldn’t trade the rough shingles beneath you for the softest mattress in the world. Not if it meant there’d be anyone other than him lying next to you.

Some people might counter that it’s an easy thing for you to say, given the number of nights you’ve thrown a balled-up shirt onto one end of a worn-out couch and called it a bed. But some people don’t know you as well as they think they do.

You’ve known luxury. Quinn might’ve been just as content taking his fill on a seedy motel bed as he was wrapped in silks at a Hilton, but he knew how to play up the luxe when it served him to do so. And in the early days as he worked to lure you in, it did. Plush sheets and expensive drinks helped to soften the preordained blows and dull the imminent pain that your nights with him held.

Once you’d latched onto the bait though, he let the act drop one piece at a time, like props collapsing on a stage. After all, what was the point in all of those frivolities when you both knew what you really came to him for? It wasn’t to be wined and dined, it wasn’t to be dressed up and shown off, and it wasn’t even to be slowly stripped of it all, laid out across the rolling clouds of a pillowy mattress.

It was to be used. Tranced. Restrained. Bitten. Drank from. Choked. Hit. Edged. Denied. Made to writhe and whine and bleed and plead. Plead for more, for less, for nothing, for anything. Anything to quiet your mind and fill the ever-expanding void inside you where you suspect love was supposed to live.

That’s what you both really wanted.

At least, that’s what you told him you wanted.

That’s what you told yourself.

You only got what you asked for.

To your right, Sam stirs, stretching gently with a yawn. The soft noise he releases as he does so reminds you of where you are, and you trace back through your thoughts to find how you got so lost.

…Right. Luxury.

While your relationship with Quinn certainly changed over time, you never forgot what it felt like in the beginning. 

You remember nights laid next to him, body sore, mind quiet. Quinn’s idea of aftercare was lacking to say the least, but you had nothing better to compare it to at the time, and you’d take what you could get. At least your head felt empty, and the bed was soft. Exhaustion would pull you under soon enough.

The mattress, sheets, and pillows enveloping you were likely worth more than you even made that past month. ...Or several. You found that display of luxury hard to be impressed by though, when it wasn’t the type of comfort you’d been seeking.

As Quinn shifted in his presumed sleep, pulling you in tighter, you didn’t fight it. You found yourself unwilling to fight anything he did, like his mere presence was enough to drain the fight right out of you. You told yourself that you were okay with that. Because you wanted it.

Lying there with your head on his bare chest, you took a deep breath and told yourself that you liked the stench of cheap cologne, poorly masking the cigarettes and alcohol on his breath. You silently told yourself that you liked everything. You liked the pain that he chased with hints of pleasure. You liked the loss of power, the way you couldn’t fight back if you wanted to once he looked you in the eyes. You liked all the things he said, no matter how much the truth might hurt.

He was right, you supposed. Your desires, the things you craved, the depravity that you so enjoyed, wasn’t normal. It was uncommon, unusual, and in the eyes of some, unfathomable. To possess such dark desires, there must be something truly broken inside you.

How lucky you were, to have found someone willing to indulge you. Someone that could give you everything you wanted, and be so kind as to keep it a secret too. He promised that word of the things he did to you, the things you let him do, would never get out. You remember the way he held your hand as he told you, falling for the guise of sincerity in his eyes. You remember his warm smile, and his razor sharp teeth.

You remember seeing that exact same smile on his face through one-way glass as he sat across from Sam and told him everything.

You stood in that room and thought back to those nights of luxury. To the feeling of his nails ghosting over the freshly healed punctures in your neck. To the way he held you against him. You remember laying there, lifeless, feeling like prey playing dead. Afraid to move, afraid to disturb him. But why? He hadn’t threatened you. He never told you that you had to stay. He never said that you couldn’t move, or pull away. So why did you feel that way?

As you stood, helplessly witnessing hours of his slander in that interrogation room, you understood. Your rose-tinted glasses had long since shattered, and you saw that smile for what it was. It was the smile of a man playing a dangerous game, brimming with satisfaction, thinking he’d won.

The radio near you begins to crackle, static obscuring the hosts voice as they announce the upcoming song. Sam doesn’t even open his eyes, just raises a hand and reaches out, blindly adjusting the antenna of the old device.

You’ve teased him for holding onto it for so long, as he is wont to do with damn near all of his possessions. But as you watch him deftly extend and angle the antenna with practiced care, the response he once gave you proves itself true once again.

“I don’t wanna replace it, Darlin’. It’s not broken. It just needs someone who knows how to make it sing again.”

The static clears, and music flows through the radio’s old speakers once more.

You watch Sam return his hand to its prior position beneath his head, acting as a makeshift pillow of his own. The way he’s lying has his hat pushed forward, and it’d be doing a damn good job of shielding his face from the sun if it weren’t somewhere around midnight at the moment. Still, it suits him somehow, despite its lack of any practicality. All he’s missing is a stalk of wheat between his teeth and a tree to lean against and he’d be the spitting image of the cowboy he swears he isn’t.

His other hand rests on the soft curve of his stomach, rising and falling again as he breathes. He’s the image of peace in moments like these, and you’re drawn to it like a moth to flame. Maybe one of these days you’ll find some of your own, but for now you’re more than content to bask in his.

As you admire him, he takes a slow, deep breath and you mirror it on instinct. The grounding practice helps you leave your mind and return to your body, if just for a moment. In doing so, you realize just how tense your ruminations have made you.

You relax your hands, releasing the blanket beneath you from your iron grip. You brush your palms over it, worried that you’ve torn the fabric once you realize that your nails had halfway shifted to claws. You don’t fret much over damage to your own possessions, but this blanket is Sam’s and you’d hate to ruin it. Though, you suppose he doesn’t prize it too much or he wouldn’t have laid it out here across the roof in the first place.

“If I buy somethin’ it’s because I wanna use it. Now quit frettin’ and get over here.” You recall what he told you earlier as he patted the blanket next to him in invitation, and you smile.

Doing a small stretch of your own, you release the tension in your shoulders, turning your attention back to the stars above you. For a while, you let the soft music wash over your tired mind.

“I asked him not to kill me politely. He drained my magic core, bottled up at the source. I washed up on the sea glass shores. I’m nobody's captive.”

In spite of your best efforts to relax, you’re still subconsciously futzing with the loose threads of the old blanket beneath you.

You’re made aware of it when Sam reaches a hand down, gently laying it over yours and effectively stilling your anxious motion.

“Burning like a dying star, invasive weeds rooted in my heart, set in a crooked trajectory. The journey here was hard, I was almost pulled apart. Trying to leave his orbit took what’s left of me.”

You flip your hand over beneath his so you can hold it properly, lacing your fingers together.

For reasons beyond your understanding, emotion tightens your throat, the threat of tears pooling in your eyes.

…You must be more tired than you thought.

As minutes pass and one song fades into another, your gaze dances across the blurry, scattered points of light in the dark sky.

“You were the star in the pitch black, shine the way on the way back. Out of nowhere, answered all my prayers.”

Sam’s always been so much better at identifying stars and finding constellations. But as the music plays, you begin to see one of your own.

“Picked up the towel that I threw in, took in a heart that was ruined. Showed me the past ain’t a tattoo, loved me even when you didn’t have to.”

“Sam.” You squeeze his hand to get his attention.

He squeezes back in acknowledgment. “Hm?”

“I want you to look at something.” You swallow back the emotion that tries to seep into your voice, but it catches his attention all the same.

He leans up and lifts his hat from his head, setting it aside near the radio. He then reaches to turn a dial back, lowering the music’s volume to give you his full attention.

You release his hand, raising yours up as he turns back to face you. You don’t say anything at first, nearly too lost in your own mind to realize you need to actually voice your developing thoughts.

"What—what're you pointin' at Darlin'?"

Your hazy focus is trained on the brightest star visible in your line of sight, arm stretched out to the sky above you. "That really bright one, to the... to the left."

Sam does his best to follow your less-than-specific directions of 'to the left', your pointed finger doing little to help given the difference in perspective. Luckily, after all these years, he knows this stretch of night sky like the back of his hand, so it isn't hard to locate the brightest one. Ghosting his fingers up along your exposed wrist where your sleeve had slipped back, he takes your hand in his again and brings it back down to earth. "Okay, yeah, I see it now. What about it though?"

"That's you." You say, matter-of-factly.

"That's me?" He questions, humor in his tone.

"Mhm." You nod with finality, blinking slow.

Sam considers the odd statement for a moment before gently correcting you. "I'm uh, I'm pretty sure that's Sirius, actually."

You scoff. "I am being serious."

Sam stifles a laugh. "No—no I mean—like... what's another name for it... Oh, it's also called the Dog Star."

"C'mon Sam, at least call it the Wolf Star if you're trying to turn this around on me..."

He shakes his head and readies himself to explain further, but you cut him off before he can start. "But no. No, this isn't about me. That's you."

He decides to play along, finding something endearing in your overtired nonsense. "Okay... then would'ja be so kind as to explain to this confused old man just how, or why that star is me?"

Your frown is audible in your voice as you latch onto the wrong part of his sentence. "You're not old, Sam. ...Do I need to tell Asher to kick the jokes down a notch?"

He smiles at your over-protectivity. "There'll be no need for that, now. Was just a joke, honey, I promise."

You huff, but begrudgingly shift focus back to the prior topic. "It's... I dunno. It's just you, Sam. It's... bright. Light. Something warm, out there in the cold dark. Standing out amongst all the rest. Calling to me, stealing my attention.”

Sam’s brow furrows as you continue to explain, realization setting in that you really are being serious.

“I... I didn't come out here looking for it, but there it is. ...And there you were. In the dark. The only bright thing I'd seen in... fuck, in years. Years of chasing fleeting warmth, tripping over myself in the pitch black, falling into... places and people that I shouldn't have. You were the light in that darkness. Even there, at Wonderworld, surrounded by the ghost of him. Your warmth, your presence, your aura—even with all of your walls up, you outshone it. Your warmth didn't hurt. I didn't have to squint when I looked at you. You weren't the blinding sun. You were the brightest star I'd ever seen. You guided me home."

In the back of your mind, you recall something you once heard, something about light, and time, and distance. Space. Something about... how you can still see a star that's already burnt out, because its light hasn't reached earth yet. The ghost of a star that's already died. Only still perceptible thanks to time, and distance.

You remember Sam's words, once whispered to you on this very roof.

"Whatever your choice is... I'm not gonna live forever. I made that decision a long time ago."

You think about dead stars.

You think about time.

"...-lin'? Darlin'?" Sam's calloused hand squeezes yours tight, his urgent tone pulling you out of your thoughts. "There you are. Think I lost ya' for a minute there... you good?"

You look up at Sam, concern creasing his features, faint shadows cast across his face from the light of the dying stars above him.

You reach out, pulling him down into you. He falters for a moment at the sudden proximity, but quickly embraces you in turn. Burying your face into his collar, Sam's concern grows when he feels it saturate with tears. A human might struggle to hear your words, muffled against the thick flannel, but his hearing catches them just fine.

"Don't burn out too quickly. Please. I still need you here. I don't—I don't wanna be left in the dark again. Please, please Sam. Don't leave me here. I'm not selfish enough to ask you for forever, but please. Not yet. Not yet. Not yet."

The words feel like a weight being lifted from your shoulders, but with it comes a flood of emotion they’d been holding back. You cry harder into him, and as much as it pains Sam to witness, he lets you feel it, for as long as you need.

Your fear of losing him manifests itself physically, nails curling and sharpening again. When he feels them prick his skin through the fabric of his shirt, he calls your name but doesn’t pull away. Instead, he leans further down into you, letting his weight ground you. “Darlin’, I am right here. I’m not goin’ anywhere.”

As you eventually cry yourself out, enough wherewithal returns to you to realize that you should probably release the poor man from your grasp, and the awkward position you pulled him into. When he pulls away enough to see your face, you notice a string of snot running from your nose to his shirt collar. Quickly batting it away out of embarrassment, you cringe, voice thick as you apologize. “Eugh, gross. Uh… sorry. About that.”

He shakes his head, laughing good-naturedly as you wipe at your nose with your jacket sleeve. “It’s completely fine, honey. After all, I’ve been covered in plenty of your, uh… various fluids before. When you come from my line of work, this is child’s play.”

He leans to his right, reaching back and pulling—of all things—a handkerchief from his jeans’ left back pocket. You laugh at his words, and at the sight, but with how congested you are it turns into more of a hacking cough than anything. Accepting his offering, you blow your nose into the black patterned fabric.

As soon as you can speak somewhat clearly, you can’t stop the teasing remark that slips out of you, gesturing with the wad of fabric in your hand. “You know, you really aren’t beating the cowboy allegations with stuff like this.”

He rolls his eyes but his soft smile remains. “It’s a practical thing to have on me, ‘allegations’ be damned.”

You shake your head with a smile of your own, but don’t disagree. As you’re visibly unsure what to do with the dirtied fabric, he takes it from you, setting it aside. “I’ll toss it in the wash when we go back inside. Along with my shirt, and…” He eyes you for a moment. “…that jacket of yours too, given how long you’ve probably been wearin’ it.”

Normally you’d argue that it hasn’t been that long, but come to think of it, you actually can’t recall when you last washed the thing.

Reaching up and rubbing your temples, you already regret your crying fit as a headache begins to set in. “Fuck, Sam... I’m sorry for… whatever that just was. I don’t know what came over me.”

His expression falls into something serious again. “You never need to apologize for feeling. And it certainly seems like… you needed to feel that.”

You nod quietly, but don’t elaborate, prompting him to question you gently. “Darlin’. What was that about? The—the askin’ me not to leave. Are you… afraid that I’m gonna leave you?”

You close your eyes, weighing out your response. “…Not in the sense that you’ll break up with me or something, no.”

His gaze narrows and his head tilts as he rolls your answer over in his mind. “If it ain’t that, then—” He remembers how you mentioned ‘forever’ and cuts himself off as the puzzle pieces start coming together. “Oh. …Oh, Darlin’, no.”

You open your eyes to watch as he shifts from leaning next to you, moving to sit up beside you. “Is this about what I told you, when we sat up here and had our uh… turning discussion?”

You hate to admit it, but you nod in confirmation. “…It’s your choice, Sam, and I never want to take that away from you. I shouldn’t have said what I just did, I—I don’t want to make you feel guilty, or like you have to stick around for my sake. But I’d be lying to you if I said it hasn’t been playing on my mind. The thought of you… leaving. Like that.”

He reaches up, running a hand through his hair. “I… think I maybe should’ve been a bit more clear, when I said that. Because I wasn’t talking about any time soon. I didn’t want to give you the false impression that I plan on sticking around for centuries, but… I also wasn’t trying to imply that I’ve got plans to do it next week either.”

You bolt upright, voice cracking. “Next week?! I sure as shit hope not!” You grab your head, pain flaring and suddenly dizzy from the quick shift in position.

He places a hand on your shoulder to steady you. “I’m not, honey, I’m not. Did you catch the rest of my sentence? I’ve got no plans to leave this world any time soon. I promise.”

You groan, head pounding. “I heard you, I did, I just—fuck, I don’t even wanna think about you leaving so soon. Here I am, stressing, thinking I’ve only got—I don’t know—some odd years left with you, and…” You sigh, trailing off.

Sam stays quiet for a minute, letting the crickets sing.

Eventually, he interrupts their chorus. “…Can I get closer to you?”

You nod. “…Please.”

He closes the gap between you, carefully wrapping a strong arm around your curled shoulders. “You’ve got way more than a couple years. I promise you that.” Your tension begins to ease a bit as he clarifies. “You… you’ve helped me find a life that I actually feel like livin’ again, for the first time in a long time. And I want to experience it with you for as long as I can.”

“…Really?” Your voice sounds so small, so unsure, so… unlike you when you question him that he wants to kick himself in his own ass for the role he unintentionally played in making you feel this way.

“Yes. Really. I mean—” His voice takes on an edge of humor. “If you decide to set your sights on the year 3,000…” He shakes his head. “I don’t know about that. But as far as the 21st century is concerned? …I think I’d like to see it through. For as long as you’re there to see it with me.”

His words cause fresh tears to well up in your eyes, and you sniff in an attempt to hold them back. The sound catches his attention, and he leans forward, thumbing across your warm cheek. “…I’m makin’ you cry again…”

You shake your head, clearing your throat. “No—No, it’s okay. It’s good. They’re… they’re good. It’s… relief.”

He breathes out a relieved sigh of his own. “Yeah?”

You nod, leaning into him. “Yeah.”

As you rest against each other, breathing in the cool night air, you nudge him with your shoulder. “Can we… lay back? For a bit?”

He squeezes your arm in gentle confirmation. “Of course.”

He twists and reaches back to straighten the wrinkled blanket beneath you, before laying out across it himself. The radio crackles as he turns the volume back up a bit. Watching him with tired eyes, you smile at the sight of him patting his chest in habitual invitation.

“Sit in and watch the sunlight fade. Honey, enjoy, it’s gettin’ late. There’s no plan. There’s no hand on the reign. As Mack explained, there will be darkness again.”

Curling up against his side and laying your head on his chest, you release a heavy sigh when his hand comes up to rest on your shoulder. As his fingers press rhythmically into the tense muscle beneath them, you breathe in his scent. Black coffee and wildflower honey… he smells like home.

“Your secret is safe with me, and if secrets were like seeds, when I’m lyin’ under marble, marvel at flowers you’ll have made.”

You reach your hand out across his broad chest, slipping beneath his open flannel and sliding down to rest on his waist. He sighs, relaxing further beneath your touch.

“My heart is thrilled by the still of your hand. That’s how I know now that you understand.”

Yeah, you’ll take this over ‘luxury’ any damn day.

“There’s no plan. There’s no race to be run.”

Laying there with him, listening to the low hum of the radio, the moment grows so comfortable that you almost hesitate to break it.

“The harder the pain, honey, the sweeter the song.”

“…Sam?” You whisper into the night.

His hand sweeps across your back before returning to your shoulder. “I’m here, Darlin’.”

“There’s no plan. There’s no kingdom to come.”

You smile. “I… I’d like to be there, to be here, to see it through with you, too.”

It takes him a moment to recall exactly what you’re referring to, but when it hits him he hums a low understanding tone, clearly pleased. “Then let’s see where it takes us, yeah?”

“But I’ll be your man if you got love to get done.”

He presses a soft kiss to your temple. “We’ve got plenty a’ time.”

A/N: Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed. You can find my extensive notes and commentary on this fic right here on Ao3. My Sam & Darlin' Playlist My Sam Playlist My Darlin' Playlist My Sam & Darlin' Moodboard My Sam Moodboard My Darlin' Moodboard Header Image Credit: Gage Smith on Unsplash

[speckle-meow-meow]

STOP YOU DID SO WELL!!!!!!!!!

I know this is a lot all of a sudden but you're my favorite writer writing about my favorite fandom!

But if you aren't busy at all, can we get Eddie and Frank being parents to an emotionless (something happened and now they don't show any emotions) teen reader who only seems to show emotions around Wally or butterflies?

Like how do you think they'd react?

Your fine! I honestly didn't expect people to like my content so soon lmao!!

It took me so long to fine a goddamn image with these to together holy cap.

Edit: I had an idea that readers emotionless would relate to abuse but I completely forgot abt it so no trigger warning I'm terribly sorry about that.

Eddie and frank felt that their house was always missing something

It felt so empty

Until one day

You came falling from the sky

Right next to eddie

You of course startled him but he soon gained his composer

He was surprised to see a child? (again to them your still a kid)

But he realized that you might have been hurt due to the fall so he carried you all the way to him and Franks residents

Since Frank has a vast knowledge of many things Eddie thought he could help you

But they don't really have a concept of fleshy bodies nor injuries at least not cuts or blood

Only bruises

But he did the best he could

It's been at least 3 days since they brought you to their place

They fixed up the guest bed room to be yours since they figured you didn't have a home

When you woke up you seemed so neutral

Definitely not normal

At least to them

They asked you questions and you answered with a monotone voice

They practically adopted you after a week of having you

You were the thing, or person that they've been needing

To fill that empty space

After month you were able to leave their home with or without them

But you usually stayed by their side choosing to

The first person to really see your emotions was Frank

He was in his butterfly dome and you joined him

Frank was studying a new butterfly that he had captured, after a while he started to hear soft giggling.

Soon the giggles turned into laughs of joy

Frank turned to see you well a form of you, you were covered head to toe in butterflies, laughing, smiling.

He's glad you were able to show emotions to at least something, he was also extatic to know that it was butterflies.

After a while you decided to join Eddie on his journey to deliver mail to the other residents and friends

You went to every house

The last one was the home of Wally darling

A small yellow man with blue puffy hair

Puffy hair that you couldn't resist to touch

You stared in awe of the blue haired man or puppet.

And wally noticed

"Well hello neighbor!" Wally said greeting you.

You didn't say anything only stared

You didn't even hear Eddie say to wally about you being emotionless and a bit mute

Before both of them knew it you were touching Wally's hair like it was a cat, making sure not to rough it up or destroy it.

Wally of course was surprised but chuckled and invited you into his home allowing Eddie to continue delivering mail.

Before Eddie left he told you he'd be back to pick you up.

You spent the rest of your day with Wally laughing and smiling. He became your uncle.

It's been 2 years now you still haven't seemed to age but you didn't mind

Your parents still haven't seen any emotions from you

Unless your with Wally or the butterflies

Which makes them sad

But you slowly show them emotions little by little which is definitely progress

Progress that they will cherish

{Thank you anon for requesting another fic! And I'm glad you liked the last one! And as always hearts and re-blogs are always welcomed along with requests and questions!}

[lingy910y]

Weekly Tag Wednesday

tagged by @energievie & @deedala

name: ling

zodiac sign: virgo (that post says my updated sign is leo but shh we don't speak of it)

how many trips have you made around the sun? 13 days before i'm 18. i'm having an early birthday party with my family tho bc it's hard to get my mom's and my schedule lined up

what time is it where you are right now? 2:44 pm

what is the candy you wish you were eating right now? none of them

would you rather swim in a swimming pool or a natural body of water? pool ig bc i cannot swim

what's the last thing you ate? croissant, a cup of low fat vanilla yogurt, 5 orange slices, and 1 grape (i brought 3 but ngl i don't think grapes taste good anymore </3) an actual healthy breakfast for a college student wow

find the closest book, what's the last two words on the last page of the last chapter? "short poems" for my journal in creative writing class. we were supposed to write abt our experiences and expectations and i felt comfortable enough to say i write fics online and made friends from it (yet another person will know my dark secret 😔💔) funny enough i accidentally wrote on the last page but then copied it on the first page (honestly i still don't know which is the front or back) so technically you can read the same words but erased on the last page

what's the last scene of shameless that you've watched? youtube says it's the "'cause you're my husband" scene. idk if i even watched it in full but i've spent too long going through my watch history so i'm gonna go with it

what's the next song you're going to listen to? probably cleopatra from aristos: the musical, i'm so obsessed that i put it in my instagram notes

what scent is your body soap? i think it's triple oat?

what does your pillowcase look like? pink with palm trees and the words "sheng yu qin shi" on top and white on the bottom

when's the last time you did laundry? today bc i got my period 😬 i just finished folding the clothes and putting the fitted sheet on the mattress which i need endless amounts of praise on btw cause my muscles were working overtime

what does the sky look like where you are now? i can't rly see outside my window but sunny and blue

go drink some water and put any emoji here to denote completion of this task: 😁

was the name of the earliest childhood teacher that you can remember? mr. wilson my 3rd grade math teacher

tagging @michellemisfit, @mybrainismelted, @reganmian, @jademickian, @blue-disco-lights

@burninface, @iansw0rld, @sgtmickeyslaughter, @mmmichyyy, @gallapiech

& @heymrspatel

[candyskiez]

I like hearing ppl infodump n u seem like a cool bean. would u be willing to talk abt shou from mp100(?) a bit with just a lil context added in for someone who only has a passing familiarity with the show. side note: plural mob be based

SLAMS DOWN ON TABLE. Before I get into this I want to say this is not a Serizawa hate post. Because I am reading what I wrote and it sounds like it at points. It is not. I was writing what I think Shou feels about him. I love Serizawa and I love them being friends, this is me talking about Shou having complicated feelings about his trauma. Okay? Okay.

Okay okay so. Shou is the son of a guy who tried to take over the world, and his entire life was spent trying to stop him. And then someone did. Someone stopped Claw. His dad got locked up. And Shous whole life had been built around trying to stop him, he had zero time for anything else other than occasionally visiting his mom (who left when he was a kid. We don't know what happened. We don't know if she tried to take Shou with or not. All we know is that Shou kept her presence hidden from his dad. We don't know how Shou feels about his mom or if he lives with her after his dad gets locked up. We know he had adults who were also rebelling in claw (the organization his dad ran), and he seemed to trust them a lot. I like to imagine they're a weird family and like. I imagine there's some Shit there. I like to imagine at least one of them was kinda giving up on everything, not really caring one way or another about what happened to everyone because they're just. Done. But then this wide eyed idealist of a kid comes by and he wants to stop his dad, holy shit the boss has a kid, and the kid is taking all this on himself. Maybe they didn't think they could fix anything but they had to save this kid. Did they believe Toichiro could be stopped at all? What were they like? We don't know much about them. How many of them were just in it to protect the kid? In hopes that maybe that idealistic, weird little boy that stumbled over to them would come out of this still a good person? God. I'm sorry I'm emo about found family. Don't mind me.

And I'm just. Okay. Okay. I think so much about how we get to know what other claw members are up to after everything, but...not Shou. Besides in fan books and stage plays, we uh. We got very little. And that makes him very interesting to analyze.

I just. Always think about how Serizawa stopped Shou from hurting Toichiro and how Serizawa got a happier life. Does Shou ever resent Serizawa? I think so much about their potential claw dynamic. Maybe he was one of the few who was kind to him, but was so disgustingly *loyal* to his dad it made him feel sick to look at. Serizawa would bring him snacks if he looked upset but would always respond to any criticisms of his father with the same unwavering Faith in him. Serizawa would comfort him after he lost a training session, Serizawa shielded the man who hurt him the most. Serizawa was a victim, Serizawa turned a blind eye to him. He needed to save Serizawa, and Serizawa never saved him. Did he feel responsible for Serizawa?

I think he felt like it was his responsibility as Toichiro's son to be the one to stop him. He needed to save everyone. He needed to make things right. He wanted his dad to go back to being who he was before things got really bad. I feel like. At first, Toichiro was an okay dad. And that's why it hurt so bad when everything went to shit and he started being so fucking horrible. Because Shou knew he was fully fucking capable of not sucking and he CHOSE to treat them like this anyway. He couldn't recognize him. He was a stranger with his dad's face and he had no idea what he did. Did he ever think if he could just fix Toichiro his mom would come back? Everything would go back to normal if he could just make Toichiro be a good person again? How long did that thought last?

I just. I always think about how aimless Shou strikes me as being the few times we see him in season three. He doesn't know what to do now. He had this whole purpose and plan. And then it didn't work. He didn't stop his dad. Mob did. His dad's alive. His dad changed his mind, but he's arrested. His mom and dad aren't together. Everything feels like it's tied up in a neat little bow for everyone except for Shou.

Of course we know that's not the case, but Shou doesn't know. Shou doesn't know that Serizawa was fucking panicked about disobeying Reigen even when their lives depended on it, Shou doesn't know that Mob's haunted by that battle. So from his eyes, it's very likely that he thinks he's the only one who hasn't moved on.

He goes from being always so dramatic sounding in all his lines in s1 and 2 to in season three just sounding...so much less? I don't know how to describe it. He sounds so much less...well. Everything was over for him, y'know? He built his whole life around carefully avoiding his dad and saving everyone and being the hero and then. Everything's done, and he didn't have a plan for what he'd do after. It all seemed like the end of Everything, and that'd be it! Nothing after that. But it's all over and he still has to live. Now what? Now what does he do?

How is Serizawa a functioning adult with a JOB now? Minegeshi joined when they were a teenager, how are they just...okay now? How did everyone, EVERYONE else get to move on, but Shou couldn't? Everyone else got their nice little ending, and Shou has nowhere to go. Does he tell his mom everything? That his dad tried to kill him but suddenly decided fine okay murder is wrong now, not soon enough to never have done that to him? Does he ask if he can stay with her? Will his lackeys want anything to do with him? Will Ritsu Everything's done and nothing's over, not for Shou, but everyone just fucking moved on. Everyone seems to be a better person than him now. Everyone seems to be fine in a way Shou just isn't.

Not to get back on my Shou and Serizawa bullshit but. Do you ever think about Shou seeing him again. And having no fucking clue what to think. Serizawa is just ...fine now. Suddenly he's no longer the guy who trailed after his dad and did horrible things for his dad without a THOUGHT. Suddenly he's smart and responsible now. Suddenly he's soooo good now. Where was all that when he needed it? Where was this functional, kind guy when he was TWELVE and trying to stop fucking terrorists. Where was this guy he would've done ANYTHING to have on his side when he was trying to save everyone from the man who raised him. Where was he. Why did he change now. Why had EVERYONE changed now. Why was Minegeshi trying for Mob, not Shou. Why was Serizawa trying for Mob, not Shou. Why was Toichiro trying for Mob, not Shou. Why didn't he MATTER. Why had NO ONE cared that he was in hell, that he wanted things to be okay. What's that one line. "If [Serizawa/Toichiro] has truly changed, it means he was ALWAYS capable of change. It means that I just wasn't worth changing for." And like. Objectively that's not what happened, objectively there were other factors and Serizawa and Toichiro are on very different levels, but Shou is like. Barely thirteen. He's BARELY thirteen. He is a child and all he's gonna see is that nobody cared when he needed them to. And now he's lost and has no idea what to do and everyone's just fine. Like he didn't almost die. Like his dad didn't try to kill him. Like he wasn't in hell for twelve goddamn years. Like he hadn't tried to save everyone. He's thirteen. He's not handling this well.

I feel like he just. Has no clue how to be normal. He doesn't know who he is now. He doesn't know what to do. His whole life orbited around stopping his dad and now his dad is different and locked up and he can't see him all the time, and things were so much worse back then so why does everything feel worse now. He doesn't know who he is now. He doesn't know what he wants now. I think so much about he says hes never using his powers again. Is he just trying SO hard to be normal. That's what he decided he wants now. He wants to be a normal kid who has friends and that's the only way to do it. He didn't have a Reigen in his life who'd tell him like he told Mob that powers are just another attribute. Maybe one day he'll talk to his lackeys, and maybe they'll hold him and tell him that that's his choice but that his powers aren't a curse or a weapon, they're just a *trait.* Or maybe he won't. I don't know. It's just so fucking. God. Shou, man. Shou.

Maybe one day he comes to spirits and such for Ritsu and sees Serizawa. Maybe they fight. Maybe they don't. Maybe they'll talk. It's just. God. Shou has so many loose ends in his life. Is he just trying to leave claw behind by never using his powers again, like he might think everyone else did? He went from "I need to save the world" to "I need to be a normal person." Did he shave his hair to look normal or did he shave it after he had a long talk with a friend that made him reevaluate things. What happened to him. If he has the spirits and such crew still, maybe he'll end up realizing that his powers are just another part of him. Maybe he'll realize they're not a curse or another thing his dad shoved on him. God. Aughhh. Sorry for being ill about Shou and possibly ooc about him but. Aughh.

Once again this is not an anti Serizawa post. I love Serizawa. Shou however probably has some Issues and I like to address them and try to give him more closure. Because I love him. Again, sorry if this is ooc, I'm still trying to get a grasp on him. If anyone who has a better grasp on him wants to add anything PLEASE let me know. I do not fully understand this guy yet but I would love to try to

[11queensupreme11]

"Waiting..."

"...that voice, it's can't be-!""

"Waiting..."

"mom?"

"Waiting, Percy when you come home I'll be waiting

Even if you're the last thing I see I'll be waiting..."

"I'm right here, mom!

Can't you see?

I'm (waiting)"

"Waiting..."

"I took too long..."

"I'll always love you"

"And ventured too far"

"I'll stay in your heart"

"While you were-"

"Waiting, waiting, waiting..."

"..."

"Bye mom."

This is from Epic the musical, underworld saga, song is "the underworld", it's a rlly great musical of the Odyssey that I'd 100% recommend, if you don't know the song, the blue text is Percy talking so u can know who's saying each thing, I only changed the name part, aka "Odysseus when you come I'll be waiting")

Ok, imagine if time passed slower in ror!universe or Percy just spent enough years in ror!universe for pjo!Sally passed away(maybe like in epic the musical, by a broken heart, or other reasons) and finally arrived home, thrilled to see her mom, but gets the news that her mom passed away, she begs to go to the underworld to see her last time, even if it's just for a few minutes. (In epic the musical, what the dead are saying is their last thoughts, so Odysseus mom/pjo!Sally was thinking abt Odysseus/Percy in her last moments) (what would actually happen is maybe her mom gets revived or they at least hug unlike in epic the musical but shh)

(I love torturing my girlie)

(This took me so long to write pls notice it)

i was originally contemplating about having the time in ror verse be slower or faster than the pjo verse, but i changed my mind cuz i didn't want percy to miss out on the fun of being tortured by hoo events :D

ok now back to sally,

you know how only really good souls can go to elysium? like, ppl who died a heroic death or "lived a good life" (according to the wiki). well, i always got confused on that, did good life just mean be a decent person?? cuz that seems like a decent good ppl would just end up in the fields of asphodel. i feel like for mortals to go to elysium, they would've needed to die heroically or lived their life impacting the world in a positive way, and sally would definitely fit the bill!!!

BUT LETS SAY SHE DIDN'T. she did a lot of good things, but not really good enough to leave an impact (which is so untrue lol), BUT LETS SAY HADES COMES IN CLUTCH AND SENDS HER TO ELYSIUM ANYWAY (cuz he's a tsun tsun)

and because he's such a tsun tsun, when percy finally gets her ass back to the pjo verse, he allows her some time to see her one last time before giving a proper goodbye 🥺 percy's saddened, but she knows 10000% that she'll see her mom again in elysium when she dies 🥺🥺🥺

ORRRRRRRRRR

realistically, if enough time has passed, EVERYONE percy cares about would probably be dead cuz gaea rose to power and she wasn't there to take part of the quest to take her down. idk what'd happen to hades, but imagine returning home and realizing everyone you care about was dead, YOU COULD'VE PREVENTED IT, and there's no way to see them because hades probably got fucked over too when gaea rose 💀