#i need to scream more....but tomorrow
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cherik fall collection i guess !!!!!!!!
#xmen#xmen comics#xmen tas#xmen 92#cherik#professor x#magneto#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#erik magnus lehnsherr#max eisenhardt#snap sketches#first one was inspod by that uncanny xmen variant cover. second one was cause i wanted smooching and them wearing coats#cause i like that outfit erik wore in that one (1) episode of 92 Family Ties#and charles' lil outfit from marvel meow makes me giggle and kick my feet. he needs more trench coats i think#anyway Double Cherik Posting as good luck for me cause i have. A Day ahead of me tomorrow. a week even#and i need my old people to get me through it#alright i should sleep soon but i have to drive home so. //screams in two-hour drive//
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Went back to babygirl because I’ve neglected him
#I’m so excited about tomorrow I need to see more Higgs or I will scream#bit rusty so I’m trying to get back into the swing#death stranding#higgs monaghan#ds higgs#artblr#digital art#art#painting#artist on tumblr#digital painting
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SHIN SOUKOKU – BUNGOU STRAY DOGS SEASON 5
#atsushi nakajima#ryūnosuke akutagawa#sskk#shin soukoku#bsd#bungou stray dogs#bsd s5#bsd season 5#my gifs#Okay I'm sskkdone. If anything because I need to wake up in four hours#See y'all tomorrow for more sskk screaming
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I just found this photo and I'm kinda going ballistic
#I have my first sanskrit exam tomorrow that I haven't started studying for. I DON'T EVEN KNOW THE LANGUAGE-#but look at this pookie 🥹#I need him to try out more hairstyles WITHOUT TOUCHING THE SCISSORS#or the wind can do it for him#carlos sainz jr#formula 1#scuderia ferrari#I'm screaming#he's so perfect#look at him#bonito
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sometimes i think about the realm and tr!sneeg and i want to cry and scream . is this normal ?
#one would even say i want to stim#but i dont really do that . i just sit in the overwhelming feeling and scream to myself quietly/mentally#one time i experimentally flapped my hands and it worked immediately . so . stimming should probs be on the table for me#anyway i want to yell and stim over tr!sneegsnag#unless mentally screaming is stimming but i dont think it is .? it doesnt even like .#let out my excess energy or anything#i just Need to scream a little ! but i still feel AAAAGAGAGGGHGGGR (thats what the screaming is)#anyway RAAAHHHHH THE REALM EVENT TOMORROW im excited ^_^#why did sneeg have to change his main heavy weapon to a hammer instead of battle axe smh#battle axe is sm more fun to draw smh my head bro#and no i am not diagnosed with autism or adhd or anything#in fact i tried . no dice#although the autism assessment smelled like bullshit#considering i couldnt answer half the questions fuckin properly#since they didnt accommodate my selective mutism#so . shrugs . smile . aint that a thing that is a thing . Yep#tr!sneegsnag#trsmp#kristiliyaps
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ONE EMAIL!!!
#THANK FUCK!!!! THANK U FOR PULLING THRU [REDACTED]#im also glad that i ended up resending it lmao#now one more party left to coordinate... please fucking pull thru early#they get all of today (wednesday). and then im calling tomorrow if i get nothing#they asked last week if i was free this friday. i confirmed but received no response.#schedules had to be cleared. it is 3 Fucking Hours Out. i NEED them to be square with me on this or im gonna fucking scream
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Testing stuff again, so here take a BS Spam
#sunny screams#sunny’s art#spamton#Not tagging it with a lot since it’s just a test#I need to post more art again especially if I get a new art tablet to replace the broke one#I’ll spam y’all with traditional stuff tomorrow lolz
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it was rare, i was there ❤️
#ill be screaming more tomorrow because i still need to escape london and sleep but#THE ACOUSTIC SONGS!!!!#taylor swift eras#the eras tour#taylor swift#taylor swift eras tour#dorian speaks
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collapses to the ground like a deflated balloon
#my god#stage one is finally complete . . . . . . . .#if you can recall that poll i reblogged about passing out#that important contact i received was mr. seto of the vocaloid team#who messaged me asking about a collaboration and quite literally nearly caused me to pass out#i read the message preview on my phone#stood up#saw stars#and collapsed onto my bed and had to lay down for like. 10 minutes before my body would stop feeling distant and weak w#i similarly felt ready to pass out today when i sent a message to ask when the announcement tweet would be#and they tweeted it. immediately after w#no joke rice and i were scrambling behind the scenes to get our act together and figure out what we wanted to say KHGJGSJKFHGKJ#all the while screaming because yamaha said they'd be posting it on valentine's day and we thought they meant our timezone w#because the whole point of this collab was to get the zolas more well known in the english-speaking sphere w#EITHER WAY#i am. so so tired and now i need to pass out so i can get enough sleep before more internship tomorrow w#which is heating up because my seminar professor wants a detailed plan of my final project goals This Friday#but my mentor won't know anything about where to fit that in until Thursday at the earliest#and my supervisor just hounded me over email to coordinate with the two other people at my station and choose an activity to lead#but that requires. planning. that our mentors won't have until thursday........#perishing . . . . . .
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I finally caught up to Epic and the mental cinematics I'm making for Siren!MC and Get in the Water
#siren!mc#keeping in mind that the whole situation between you and touya had been that you were trying NOT to be a villain#and were rejecting your family and your upbringing. and it's inevitably why you break up#because you very much needed to believe that heroes and villains could come together#and spoilers but I am planning a supplemental fic after hex to show what you were doing while he was having fantasies#and you were begging shouto to save him#and even when you were at your most humble and vulnerable it did not make a difference#you were Good and refused to fight and everyone died anyway#so that's what I've been writing in the bg lately is her return to villainy and her very patient plot of revenge touya would be so proud of#and I keep thinking about her sing-screaming through tears “RUTHLSSNESS IS...MERCY UPON....OURSELVES!!!”#like that's something her family has always said and now she's finally agreeing a little too late#and if she would've accepted it sooner maybe everyone would still be alive#GOOD GOOD STUFF ANYWAY I GOTTA GO TO BED#MAYBE I'LL WRITE MORE ABOUT THIS TOMORROW
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The crushing realization after a great opening night when you remember you have school tomorrow
#it’s almost 11:00 and i need to take a shower and i cannot miss school tomorrow#god i am so tired. but i did not fuck up any of my lines and i could hear my friend screaming when i bowed#it was a great show! i just have to wake up at 6:30am but i will be doing this four more times
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day 1 of 3 days of adventures (barely) survived
#i have 2 job interviews out of town this week#which require long car rides and also a job interview#then tomorrow is my regularly scheduled long train ride + work at Location TM which is only slightly less exhausting#i think this will actually be slightly life affirming#i've recently felt a bit frustrated because the fact that i can't drive limits my options in a lot of ways#but today reminded me i fucking hate being in cars for long periods of time so even if i could drive i would avoid it lol#personal#grad school nonsense#i'm so tired lol but looking back i think i could have mitigated some of my discomfort and had a more pleasant experience#i just Didn't for whatever reason (something i'm actively working on noticing and fixing)#so esp for the next long car ride i'll keep that in mind and hopefully that will help#unFORtunately i napped the evening away and now need to become tired again so i can be up at 6 LOL#grind sleeps but at the wrong times!!!!!!!!!#okay anyway i'm crying screaming and thriving ty for checing in byeeee
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Bought a stupid suit thing. Disgustang.
#speculation nation#i got it on sale but it was still kinda expensive. ughhhh#hates every part of that. it's so stiff and uncomfortable and unnatural feeling.#but business professional is the recommended attire... so to that i went...#felt bad staying so close to close but the employees were nice about it at least. and i still got out b4 they closed (barely)#i wanted to go shopping earlier today. in between class and orchestra. but allegedly attendance is required in the lab.#so i went. didnt really feel like attendance was taken. but i still went.#still gotta finish prepping my resume but i dont think itll take Too long... i got a template to follow#from my web coding class actually. bc we just happen to have a resume building assignment this week.#so by working on my resume im working on the lab!! yay!!!#except im not doing the lab resume rn. just the normal resume. the template is still helpful tho.#also need to do a bit of research into the companies that are there and the interview style thingie#GOD this is going to be a whole hassle. i dont wanna wrinkle my stupid suit so i shouldnt stuff it in a bag.#and i dont wanna BIKE in the stupid suit. so im thinking of driving up to campus. forking over the money for guest parking#do the stupid career fair then drive back home to change and then go back up to campus on bus or bike in time for bowling#hopefully. we hope. nonzero chance of having to miss bowling and web coding classes tho. depending on how long i spend at this thing.#ultimately career bullshit is more important than one day of bowling so like. whatever.#but i still want a reward for sucking it up and going to the stupid career fair anyways. even tho i Really dont want to.#im already planning on skipping my first class. he made it sound like it would be fine + expected. so we can go to the career fair.#and that opens up a good amount of time so. doing that. and then hoping i can make it to bowling class...#it's funny to imagine if i didnt have time to go back home to change. me showing up to bowling in a suit.#im not doing that tho. this shit was too expensive to risk it doing physical activity.#BLARGH i am so supremely grumpy going to this thing. i dont want to. at all. i hate all this Professional Attire bullshit.#but i need to... and i already went thru the hassle of getting the damn suit... might as well just go.#i will simply pout and grumble the whole way. until tomorrow where it'll be full social smiles and whatever the fuck.#need to get enough sleep to make talking easier. no time for any fun stuff tonight.#need to find my damn. razor. bc i need to shave my little mustache thing probably. for 'professionalism'. ugh.#kicking and screaming this whole way. man i dont think i even own an ironing board. gonna have to hang the shit up and hope for the best#longest sigh imaginable... i just wanna write....... or play video games...... wahhhh#at least itll be over tomorrow. but then i will have to do presentation stuff for thursday. ughhhhhh
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I can’t even imagine living without anxiety. Like. How. What?
#I mean if I woke up tomorrow with a normal amount of anxiety it would be a shocking difference to my daily life. and I am medicated!!! like.#what? am I missing something here?#my mom tells me that meds can only do so much and that they’re really just meant to make it so you can get out of bed every day#but now I’m wondering like is that true or is that my mom is on the wrong dose herself and something could be done to help us both#gahhhhh idk I just feel helpless bc I’m scared of making big changes and the big changes have to make are scary and large and I need a#bulleted list made of things I can do (and break down into very small steps) to actually progress in a positive way in my life instead of#being SO afraid and SO stagnant. it’s been six months since (ptsd diagnosis causing thing) and I don’t feel like I’ve made any progress even#with a therapist. I’m working towards a more intensive program but I feel like it’s almost making me feel more alienated bc I’d have to like#go be surrounded by other mentally ill people and medical people which brings dad dying trauma and like I know I’m running from it bc I’m#afraid to face the changes I need to make and the feelings that are going to come up but fuck man can’t I get some fucking meds that make#this easier to deal with!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! grief and ptsd and long term isolation and anxiety and chronic pain like fuck it’s#so exhausting!!!! I feel like I’m fucking fighting thru life and then from the outside it’s like I’m doing nothing cause I stay in my room#and get stoned and play animal crossing and watch tv and cry and over eat and sometimes I drive around in circles so I can scream sing until#my throat burns and I get a headache and everything finally quiets down in my head for a second. I know I look like I’m doing nothing and#that’s because I am doing nothing but waiting for the next time a mental health professional will talk to me for an hour like it’s so sad#anyways. you ever take a big dab and then start crying and type all of this like it’s an epiphany even tho it’s things you already know.#honestly crying in front of the air conditioner is so slay slight breeze over my face cooling the tears the white noise calming me down
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I was looking for a solarpunk music playlist more geared to an optimistic fight to get there and less peaceful ambiance (because I already have playlists like that). I found one I liked and recognised that profile pic anywhere! Awesome collaborate playlist :)
Thanks so much! I’m glad people are liking them!
It’s not just me though, its the whole community! Shout out to everyone who’s added to the collaborative playlists! They wouldn’t be nearly as good without you!
#out of queue#ani rambles#answered asks#theoneandonlyallie#i should give the playlists another go#maybe i should listen to one while I plant vegetables tomorrow#a concept. but. i wanna relisten to the entire troy saga 10000 more times…..#extremely off topic but if you tend to like the music I add to the playlists AND/OR liked the vibe of Hamilton back in the day#PLEASE LISTEN TO EPIC THE MUSICAL IDK ANYONE WHO LISTENS TO EPIC THE MUSICAL AND I NEED TO SCREAM#(its not Solarpunk in the slightest its based on The Odyssey from Greek mythology BUT STILL)#(i have not been active here because I have been devouring Epic the Musical content like nobodys fucking business)#(I have accomplished NOTHING this week because of this and I couldnt be happier)
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i'm so mtt rotted i'm covering songs for them about them AS them ‼️‼️‼️‼️ yes this is about xxtha's mtt songs no i still have not recovered UASGAHAHHGGAYZBSNXUANXHANZBA
#but tomorrow of course :3 i already have the instrumentals recorded#that way i can just throw them straight into bandlab and get to singing!!!!! :DDDDD#honestly do i even need the lyrics for these songs i've literally memorized all three by heart#people say one day it gets better i find that so hard to believe every part of me dissolves in apathy forgetting all my empathy im thinking#and i know that the thought is crazy sorry kid but you made me so all my lif ive been seen as lazy but now its time and youve got to go is t#the fallen heart deserves its resting on a plate emaciated from its hunger to its taste dont scream or they will hear how afraid you are my#........ yeah i'm normal about these songs 🙂🙂🙂🙂#I NEED TO COVER MORE SONGS AS MTT UAAGHHHHH its so hard finding TRIO songs tho...... but anyways#i need to hear what they'd all sound like together (i say as if its not all just my voice)#tricule rant#good night world :3 just know that triglycercule ended the day thinking of mtt as one should from someone such as thee
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