#i need to scream more....but tomorrow
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cherik fall collection i guess !!!!!!!!
#xmen#xmen comics#xmen tas#xmen 92#cherik#professor x#magneto#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#erik magnus lehnsherr#max eisenhardt#snap sketches#first one was inspod by that uncanny xmen variant cover. second one was cause i wanted smooching and them wearing coats#cause i like that outfit erik wore in that one (1) episode of 92 Family Ties#and charles' lil outfit from marvel meow makes me giggle and kick my feet. he needs more trench coats i think#anyway Double Cherik Posting as good luck for me cause i have. A Day ahead of me tomorrow. a week even#and i need my old people to get me through it#alright i should sleep soon but i have to drive home so. //screams in two-hour drive//
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SHIN SOUKOKU – BUNGOU STRAY DOGS SEASON 5
#atsushi nakajima#ryūnosuke akutagawa#sskk#shin soukoku#bsd#bungou stray dogs#bsd s5#bsd season 5#my gifs#Okay I'm sskkdone. If anything because I need to wake up in four hours#See y'all tomorrow for more sskk screaming
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I just found this photo and I'm kinda going ballistic
#I have my first sanskrit exam tomorrow that I haven't started studying for. I DON'T EVEN KNOW THE LANGUAGE-#but look at this pookie 🥹#I need him to try out more hairstyles WITHOUT TOUCHING THE SCISSORS#or the wind can do it for him#carlos sainz jr#formula 1#scuderia ferrari#I'm screaming#he's so perfect#look at him#bonito
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#mine#doctor who#dwedit#david tennant#camille coduri#noel clarke#merry crisis!!!#baby ten in nine's clothes#still sad we didn't get to see old man ten in thirteen's outfit#SIGH#oh well it's almost 2023 guys can you believe it#11 more months until dw is back!!!!!!!!! scream#update on my vivillon quest: i only need ocean now!!! 2 more ocean pins and i'm DONE#tomorrow i get to go pick up these christmas cream puffs i ordered and i am so excited#and i also get to dog sit for my cousin and i'm very excited for that as well
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Pedri: Gavi is a perfect cinnamon roll who’s never done anything wrong in his entire life!
Robert: Never done anything wrong?! He set a city block on FIRE!
#sorry about the hiatus again lol (small vent at the end of the tags because i need to scream into the void)#source: perchance generator#incorrect football quotes#incorrect soccer quotes#incorrrect quotes#barça#barca#barcelona#fc barcelona#fc barça#fc barca#fcb#pedri#pedri gonzalez#pedro gonzález lópez#gavi#pablo gavi#pablo gavira#gavi/pedri#pedri/gavi#robert lewandowski#lewandowski#vent time! bro high school fucking sucks#two weeks in and im so stressed i got sick#failed two of my ap stats quizzes because he doesnt fucking teach and he didnt like my explanations even though they were right#ive already had 4 tests and an essay and ive got part two of my stats test tomorrow#i just really want a break man#anyway ill try to post more quotes now that ive kind of gotten back into the groove of things
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alright im gonna need 5-6 business days to Absorb all of that and the maybe-implications
#sitting in a corner and staring at the wall#excuuuuuse me ex-fucking-scuse me#MCFUCKIN MCPARDON MCME.#ohohoho we're starting to slide into the horror aspect now aint we folks#damn what did i say in the scribble i dropped today huh? that i cant wait for things to turn south? that i hope it disturbs me?#that i cant wait for the puppets to lose their minds?#its beginning! the dodgeball lightly grazed my shoulder!#anyway sally hon are you okay. you do not sound okay. i hope you're not okay.#homebogging#absolutely unprompted#IM!!! NERVOUS!!! IN THE BEST OF WAYS!!!!#im gonna be walking through the store in a Daze tomorrow#cant wait to haul more wood so i can do something mindless while my brain chews rabidly on this update#EVERYONE SAY THANK YOU CLOWN & THE PEOPLE WHO WORK ON IT WITH THEM#everyone's doing the most and i need to lie down#screams. screams and wails and cackles so so Evilly#THERE'S SOMETHING IN THE WOODS <3<3<3<3
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it was rare, i was there ❤️
#ill be screaming more tomorrow because i still need to escape london and sleep but#THE ACOUSTIC SONGS!!!!#taylor swift eras#the eras tour#taylor swift#taylor swift eras tour#dorian speaks
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collapses to the ground like a deflated balloon
#my god#stage one is finally complete . . . . . . . .#if you can recall that poll i reblogged about passing out#that important contact i received was mr. seto of the vocaloid team#who messaged me asking about a collaboration and quite literally nearly caused me to pass out#i read the message preview on my phone#stood up#saw stars#and collapsed onto my bed and had to lay down for like. 10 minutes before my body would stop feeling distant and weak w#i similarly felt ready to pass out today when i sent a message to ask when the announcement tweet would be#and they tweeted it. immediately after w#no joke rice and i were scrambling behind the scenes to get our act together and figure out what we wanted to say KHGJGSJKFHGKJ#all the while screaming because yamaha said they'd be posting it on valentine's day and we thought they meant our timezone w#because the whole point of this collab was to get the zolas more well known in the english-speaking sphere w#EITHER WAY#i am. so so tired and now i need to pass out so i can get enough sleep before more internship tomorrow w#which is heating up because my seminar professor wants a detailed plan of my final project goals This Friday#but my mentor won't know anything about where to fit that in until Thursday at the earliest#and my supervisor just hounded me over email to coordinate with the two other people at my station and choose an activity to lead#but that requires. planning. that our mentors won't have until thursday........#perishing . . . . . .
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ngl gamers, I think I'm gonna inevitably lose to the hormones and depression in the near future XD
Can't bring myself to be active cause I'm using a lot of energy to not vent post all the time. But fuck it, into the tags I go!
#I want NO MESSAGES regarding this. let me just be upset and alone#you spend most of your life trying to not succumb to sick brain but honestly I don't think it's worth it in the long run#my life is for better or worse....decent. but I've lost the drive and happiness to really DO anything a long time ago. like whats the point#the only reason I havent killed myself yet is cause Im too lazy (and dont have access to a gun for a quick getaway)#and I'm saying all this DESPITE having stuff to look forward to in the near future. it's like AUGH whats the POINT IM always gonna suffer#why does mental health take such a toll on ppl. this shit sucks ass. and I still feel excited for things in the future too? somehow?#but I also really want to die so. idk man. idk. maybe if I fall in love with someone then I can be distracted but all my walls are up#what's the point in anything anymore. *I* have to take the steps to improve myself and my situation#and I'd rather die. anyways who wants to make a pact that once we reach 40 we will marry each other#that might be fun#also my brain has gotten so bad that I am literally considering joining a hiking club to get out more and I FUCKING HATE HIKING#but I should probably do something out of my comfort zone to push myself and who knows maybe I will find a new passion#but let me tell you about the anxiety - oh BOY it's starting to act up again. hahahha#ah well sometimes you just need to scream your feelings out in the tags to get a lil clarity from the brain fog#one day I will fucking die/kill myself but for now I'll just try to make the best out of. whatever the hell this stupid life is. *shrug*#(but hey if any professional hitmen are reading this. feel free to. heh. you know ;) )#also I need to get back to art#gotta do my paid work and that one pic I lined months ago. and clay stuff *continues to bed rot another week because hahahahahahaha*#ah I wish I didn't fail all those years ago. then I would be free. I wish I was free#ok goodnight I promised myself that I would do paid work when I wake up tomorrow so hopefully no more migraines -pray emoji-
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I cannot survive this day lol
#it’s only noon and I need to go to bed immediately and start over#our one triumph today: at the dentist he had his first truly epic blowout - we’re talking poop all up his back inside his onesie#no changing table in the bathroom#and my mom had taken the car so no access to the more elaborate changing setup in the car#so I had to change him on the floor using the three remaining wipes in the pack#while he screamed like he was being tortured and kicked poop everywhere#but we did it we made it and then he chugged a bottle of milk like a soldier who’d just survived his first skirmish with the enemy#I have to take ruthie to the vet in a couple hours but she’s started acting fine today so I’m afraid I’ll be wasting a huge amount of money#meanwhile Pip has started vomiting everywhere#but I think he’s just stressed about baby/sudden change#naturally though I had to have a huge crying jag in the bathroom about the fact of his mortality#anyway friends I’m hanging in there#I need to just simplify simplify simplify#I will lie down for a bit now#then I will try to walk the dogs so it’s out of the way#need to leave by 2:30 to get Ruthie in#and I can listen to a hockey podcast and feel more human on the way#then once that’s done I can just do nothing tonight if I need to#my mom is leaving around 4 for the evening but#I’ve mixed the formula and cleaned all the bottles so I think I can just like#hopefully lie around with the baby#the other thing I need to do is write my mom a thank you letter before she leaves#I just haven’t had the energy but maybe I can ask her to take the baby for an hour tomorrow#and sit outside somewhere and work on it#postpartum tag#today has just been a higher difficulty level lol but I’ll have other kinds of days too#all will be well
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oh noooo or whatever
bonus aka The Real Motive Behind This:
SURPRISE double bonus. textless ver of the first pic under the cut
#xmen#xmen comics#cherik#professor x#magneto#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#erik magnus lehnsherr#max eisenhardt#snap sketches#guys i drew cherik after walking to the comic shop to see official cherik omg .....#context if needed: in like. issue 17-18 of the og run magneto hijacks the x mansion and sets up The Mental Wave Distorter trap#and unfortunately the second i saw it i knew what i had to do because I Cannot Be Salvaged#tbh this was suppoesd to be moooorrreee 2011 Yaoi Doujin Core but clakjkl i like it like this way i fear#i was gonna put dialogue bubbles for the first pic but like that a lot. even tho i did post a textless ver Bro My Head Hurts#this was also supposed to be quick and thats why its in a limbo of Effort Was Made and I Held Back#because after the sketch i realized i wanted to lock in. sort of 💀 still like it tho !!!!!!#more importantly dont take me to comic shops all ima do is think of ship art to make later !!!!!#on that note tho i did have a silly giggle to myself when i saw the resurrection of magneto#like it was the silliest reaction i felt like a dog jlvkjavlka#i also found another magneto-centered run im excited bout ...... both sets were missing One book so im gonna scream but moving on#uhhhh ok im done here. my heads been hurting all day i hope its nothing serious#whats funny is that i actually planned to draw movie cherik today but alas. plans were changed#theres always tomorrow !!!!!!!!! i love you tomorrow .....#bye bye im going to bed
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I can’t even imagine living without anxiety. Like. How. What?
#I mean if I woke up tomorrow with a normal amount of anxiety it would be a shocking difference to my daily life. and I am medicated!!! like.#what? am I missing something here?#my mom tells me that meds can only do so much and that they’re really just meant to make it so you can get out of bed every day#but now I’m wondering like is that true or is that my mom is on the wrong dose herself and something could be done to help us both#gahhhhh idk I just feel helpless bc I’m scared of making big changes and the big changes have to make are scary and large and I need a#bulleted list made of things I can do (and break down into very small steps) to actually progress in a positive way in my life instead of#being SO afraid and SO stagnant. it’s been six months since (ptsd diagnosis causing thing) and I don’t feel like I’ve made any progress even#with a therapist. I’m working towards a more intensive program but I feel like it’s almost making me feel more alienated bc I’d have to like#go be surrounded by other mentally ill people and medical people which brings dad dying trauma and like I know I’m running from it bc I’m#afraid to face the changes I need to make and the feelings that are going to come up but fuck man can’t I get some fucking meds that make#this easier to deal with!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! grief and ptsd and long term isolation and anxiety and chronic pain like fuck it’s#so exhausting!!!! I feel like I’m fucking fighting thru life and then from the outside it’s like I’m doing nothing cause I stay in my room#and get stoned and play animal crossing and watch tv and cry and over eat and sometimes I drive around in circles so I can scream sing until#my throat burns and I get a headache and everything finally quiets down in my head for a second. I know I look like I’m doing nothing and#that’s because I am doing nothing but waiting for the next time a mental health professional will talk to me for an hour like it’s so sad#anyways. you ever take a big dab and then start crying and type all of this like it’s an epiphany even tho it’s things you already know.#honestly crying in front of the air conditioner is so slay slight breeze over my face cooling the tears the white noise calming me down
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I was looking for a solarpunk music playlist more geared to an optimistic fight to get there and less peaceful ambiance (because I already have playlists like that). I found one I liked and recognised that profile pic anywhere! Awesome collaborate playlist :)
Thanks so much! I’m glad people are liking them!
It’s not just me though, its the whole community! Shout out to everyone who’s added to the collaborative playlists! They wouldn’t be nearly as good without you!
#out of queue#ani rambles#answered asks#theoneandonlyallie#i should give the playlists another go#maybe i should listen to one while I plant vegetables tomorrow#a concept. but. i wanna relisten to the entire troy saga 10000 more times…..#extremely off topic but if you tend to like the music I add to the playlists AND/OR liked the vibe of Hamilton back in the day#PLEASE LISTEN TO EPIC THE MUSICAL IDK ANYONE WHO LISTENS TO EPIC THE MUSICAL AND I NEED TO SCREAM#(its not Solarpunk in the slightest its based on The Odyssey from Greek mythology BUT STILL)#(i have not been active here because I have been devouring Epic the Musical content like nobodys fucking business)#(I have accomplished NOTHING this week because of this and I couldnt be happier)
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i cannot fucking wait for uther to die
#uther is dead party tomorrow bc im watching the season 3 finale!!!!!!!!#we been waiting!!!!!!!! we = me and morgana#i dont like the traitor shes become at all but . i do understand her reasons okay#also i saw lancelot in the preview for the finale..........👁️👁️#arthur and gwen have been sloooowwwly growing on me. but she Did have more chemistry w lancelot in those single two (2) scenes.#(did they rlly have more chemistry or am i letting the traditional lancelot-guinevere romance influence me?)#(did they rlly have more chemistry or am i letting my blatant preference for merthur influence me?)#anyways! every time i watch an ep i blabber to my friends about how hot arthur is and nobody can stand me anymore! i hate men!#also! give merlin a break i beg. he needs to scream into the void for 3 hours straight#or go to the canaries for a week#mary watches merlin#merlin
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in honor of pride month, give this a like for a mxm starter based on the shuffling of my playlist! here is a link to my muses page. feel free to specify a muse, if not, i'll just pick at random!
#indie rp#indie gay rp#gay indie rp#indie starter#open rp#indie open rp#open starter#indie oc rp#indie open starter#me screaming into the void that i need more threads#as i have 10+ drafts still pending ADSNVKJFDNVF#will probs get to some of these tomorrow bc i need sleep rip
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i just watched the eighth sense and it’s so good i literally think i could throw up. like the amount of good it is makes me wanna vomit, bc just like. omg. wow.
#the eighth sense#I’ll scream more later maybe tomorrow bc I’ll have time but rn I need to collect my feelings bc holy god
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