#i need to keep putting the fruit and veg away and i just | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

pandorafallz · 1 year

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Vampire AU | Telling the Na'vi

Jake spent a good portion of his morning helping with the camp but in his avatar. Jerome looked to be less in the dog house and helped Nadine choose a good place in the patch for the seeds; his xenobiotics side really coming out as he was excited and wondering how the Earth seeds would respond to Pandoran soil and was easily excited to see if the fruits would remain ‘human sized’ or would grow to Na’vi sized fruit. Jake listened in mostly to keep his mind occupied as he helped go through the weaving practises he had learned on making rope.

N’deh had gone out to hunt with Kim for a bigger game and so, Jake was mostly good sitting and working. Morgan was by the lake, Target practising with his newly remade sling. The guy had apparently taken up the sling for both a hobby and for hunting last year and…Jake was impressed at the man’s skill and accuracy with the weapon.

The new bullets he made were mildly terrifying. He had cut holes into some of the rocks or added groves to some sides so that when they were launched, the bullets would…whistle. A high-pitched sound that ended with a crack when it hit its target. Poor pelican case. Jake had also noticed the guy had also carved up a basic wooden Y- Slingshot, sitting unfinished as well but he wasn’t gonna question it.

It just made him pause at each crack or whistle.

Though Jake paused as a tall figure seemed to emerge from the trees, his hand pausing a little in consideration.

“Neytiri?” He frowned, “I thought it was every other day we were going down to Hometree?”

Neytiri looked his way, though nodded. “It remains unchanged. I came of my own accord. I…am curious. Human camps are…different to what I expected.”

Jake nodded, though offered her a gesture to the camp to welcome her “If you’ve got questions, feel free to ask.”

Neytiri’s presence had pulled the attention of Nadine and Jerome. The scientist waved but didn’t do anything else than get back to it to discuss support for the plants.

“Are they planting crops?” Neytiri asked. “for ease of travel?”

“Actually, yes.” Jake brightened up a little. “I… My brother spent years and a lot of money collecting seeds from Earth plants. Fruits and veg mostly, but there are flowers and…herbs. Some spices…” He listed, his heart panging but…he was actually a little excited to explain this to her.

“Earth seeds?” Neytiri cocked her head.

Jake nodded, “We’re only planting five at the moment. One herb, four varying fruits. Right now, they’re rehydrating and germinating given they’ve been preserved to survive the trip here but they’re sorting out a good spot for them to grow.”

Neytiri eyed the two working with more curiosity. “What are these fruits?”

“Well, one is called a Watermelon. They’re… big in human terms. Sweet, elongated and slightly round in shape, it has a stripy green shell and on the inside is a red flesh with black and white seeds. I’ve never had a fresh one before so I’m…really looking forward to that if they grow. The next is a pumpkin. Can be sweet but often is savoury. Makes a good soup. People used to grow pumpkins to the size of humans in competitions. Oh, and we use pumpkins on a tradition on Earth, you’d hollow out a pumpkin and put a scary face on and put a candle on the inside which shines in the dark so only the faces made could be seen.”

“Scary face?” Neytiri looked amused at the concept. “For a tradition?”

“Well… it’s…a long story. I guess Grace didn’t get to that at school. Every year on the same date, the 31st of October, it was known as All Hallow’s Eve. Or, Halloween. More commonly. It…fuck I think it’s been going on for over two thousand years? Maybe longer. It’s changed in form many times over the centuries but it…started off when it was believed spirits of the dead would come back and walk the earth on that night. Humans feared spirits and thought they needed to…ward them away. Pumpkin faces were supposed to help with that.” Jake explained.

Neytiri looked more intrigued. “The carving of fruit still remains important?”

“Well, sorta. When we had bigger houses and more freedom, there was a tradition with children, I…don’t quite know how to explain ‘Trick or treating’ without it sounding weird, plus that tradition was dropped about…twenty years ago. The Pumpkin became important to know which houses were okay with being disturbed by the tradition than those who wanted a peaceful night. People still use them now as means of keeping the event alive.”

“Ooh, tell her about the weed!”

“No.” Jake blew a raspberry in Nadine’s direction then turned back to Neytiri. “So, we also have Tomato’s and strawberries. The first is a savoury berry. Very good pureed and on a flatbread or as a soup. Strawberry is a red berry as well. Very sweet and delicious.” He clarified. “The herb is known more commonly as Weed but that’s…probably not safe for Na’vi yet given its… unknown side effects on alien bodies”

“Oh, so you are telling her about weed.” Nadine called towards them, “Weed is a drug; humans use it to…chill out by smoking it or baking it into food. It causes a very strong relaxant effect and in my case, it’ll help with my limb pain.” She gestured to her prostheses with a pose. “You, my tall blue friend,” she walked overly, solely to prod Jake in the thigh, “will be a Guinea pig on how it affects’ Na’vi and avatars. Jerome wants to know if it’ll work with him.”

Jake sighed dryly out. “Sounds like he wants to live in the dog’s house.”

Nadine snorted though quickly returned back.

“I can still hear you!” Jerome called, his tone laced with exasperation.

Crack!

The sound of Morgan’s sling ammo striking the case echoed.

Neytiri jumped with a hiss, her ears alarmed before she realised it was far and coming from the second human of the camp. “What…what is that sound?!”

Jake gave her a relaxed expression. “Morgan’s got a thing called a sling. It’s a projectile weapon that Earth used to have a few thousand years ago but fell out of use when throwing spears, guns and bows and arrows were made. Watch.”

Morgan picked up another carved rock, settling it into the woven band then began to wind but it only took a few winds before he let go; keeping a hold of the sling end but let one half go and the rock flew through the air with a shrill form it’s whistling then clunked hard against the case, pinging off into the grass.

“Hey, Morgan!” Jake called, waving him over.

Morgan did, though eyed the Na’vi woman for a moment, “Are we in trouble?”

“No.” Neytiri frowned, “Why do you ask?”

“You’re here.” Morgan spoke, “Why else would you be here?”

“She’s just curious about the camp.” Jake allowed, though he already suspected why Morgan was a little tense about this impromptu visit. He wasn’t thick by, aside from N’deh, they had little to hide.

“Right.” There was an edge of scepticism to Morgan’s voice though he remained friendly. “So, what’d you want? I’m busy.”

“Your sling” He held his hand out for it.

Morgan rolled his eyes but handed it over without complaint. “I finally sorted it out. I forgot how I made it the first time since it lasted so long and this new weave is very durable and flexible.”

Jake turned the sling over in his hand; small of course for human hands though it was a simple two-woven belt connected to both ends of the cords than the leather pouch he was more accustomed to seeing on more modern slingshots. He couldn’t remember what type of make this was.

Neytiri eyed it curiously, “You…use this instead of a bow?” Her fingers touched over the small weaves, almost surprised by the simplicity of it. Probably never realised humans had such basic weapons when so used to their automatic rifles.

“Well, sort of. It depends. Bows pack more power, puncture through and much quieter. Slings can go further than an arrow and cause more damage through blunt-force trauma. Penetrative if I use sharpened rocks at my target.” From his pouch, he held up a selection of rocks. Varying in size and shape, from round to elongated to pointed but he had clearly crafted the rocks to his liking. “That said, both have their merits and disadvantages.”

Neytiri knelt down, examining the rocks before plucking out one with a hole drilled through. “Why is it like this?”

“So it sings when it flies. We call them whistling bullets.” Morgan spoke, dropping the rest into his pouch. “Helps me distinguish what I’ve crafted to not and… well so no one around walks into a silent path. These can be lethal.”

“I see.” Neytiri handed the bullet back. “I always thought humans used guns or other explosive weapons. I… this is new.”

“Well, this isn’t common knowledge any more. I doubt even Dr. Augustine would have taught this in her school.”

“She did not. Languages were the most important to learn. Grace taught us a lot but…not everything. She kept things light and fun.” Neytiri said, “We asked about some of the other topics that we had noticed about the sky people's culture but she said with the younger children, it was unsafe.”

Jake hummed, “Well, to be fair teaching young kids about our primitive but easy-to-make weapons isn’t exactly…safe. If they saw a picture and made a sling and started to throw rocks at things…I’m sure you’ll agree it might be unwise.” He wasn’t sure he’d want to be responsible for that mess. Kids were curious by nature. “I knew a kid in school who made a crossbow in class using four pencils, a rubber band, a clip binder and a ball-point pen. Almost shot the teacher’s eye out when he misfired.”

“Was that kid you?” Morgan asked cheekily.

Jake snorted, “No.” He paused, “It was Tommy.”

Morgan’s smile faded a little though he patted his arm. “Sounds like he had fun.”

“Yep.” Jake had remembered taking the heat for that. Seated next to each other in math; as the resident class clown, the assumption had gone straight onto him. He had found it hilarious, more so than being annoyed for getting the blame. Now it was…a fond memory despite the lingering echo of loss.

Morgan made an excuse to leave though Jake watched him clamber up to his shack up in the trees before he turned his attention back to Neytiri.

“So, this is where I’m living.” He gestured to his shack, leading her inwards to the metal box. “We’re working on covering it better but the canopy here is dense and the leaf coverage is good.” He spoke. “Plus the shack was already being slowly reclaimed so I mainly needed to just slap some moss on it and let it blend. Morgan wants to make it look like a na’vi tent but that’ll take some time to create.” Once he had also learned how to work a loom. He had seen the Mother loom in Hometree and suffice to say, looks a little out of his area but…

Neytiri peered in curiously, taking note of the link bed. “You are in that machine?”

“Yep, my human body is resting. I’m just…figuring out the balance. Two bodies to care for and…well I’m just…trying to figure out how to balance. The last week, I used to spend half-days in and out. With work with you and your clan, my avatar’s dormant for much longer.” He explained, “Still. I’ll make things work.”

Neytiri nodded softly though staring at the machine longer. “I have never seen a Dreamwalker and its sky-person at once. I’ve seen Grace mostly in her Dreamwalker… yet not like this.”

Jake chuckled, “It’s a little surreal. It’s odd to me to see myself lying there. From another set of eyes.”

Neytiri nodded softly. “You are small.”

Jake folded his arms with a light smile. “Yeah, I’ve noticed.”

He took the time to show her more in-depth the camp. Climbing up to show where his avatar would be kept when not in use. His mauri was the spare storage tent which had been converted just for his avatar now. It was mostly just his hammock and his biomonitor he had clipped on. His little insect repellent jar was still going which gave his mauri a more sharp scent but he hadn’t fully decided on how to decorate it; his avatar didn’t have a lot of its size and the other two weren’t wearing human clothes.

Sure, the two wore Na’vi clothing to blend in and pass but…Jake wasn’t for that just yet; he liked his shirt and his shorts.

“What do you hunt here? Yerik?” She asked, eyeing the bones drying in the sun.

“That’s the current main form of meat aside from fish. Kim’s out hunting for one.” Jake answered, leading her down. “She’s very good with a bow.” Better than Jerome but he was better at fishing; better patience to wait than she did.

“That reminds me, tomorrow my mother wants to see her. If she doesn’t come to Hometree, she will come here.” Neytiri spoke, “She didn’t visit yesterday.”

Jake clicked his tongue a little. “You know why.”

Neytiri looked back at him with pursed lips. “I am aware. The Tsahìk was…more understanding but…the child’s development is important and Eywa blessed the couple for a reason.”

“And suddenly caring after two years of absence is very jarring and doesn’t look like you care for them. Only the baby.” Jake remarked, heading off. “It doesn’t feel good, Neytiri.”

Neytiri sighed deeply. “Is there anything we can do to soothe those feelings of hurt?”

“An apology. Not from you, you’re not the ones who banished them.” Jake offered, though he felt relief at her willingness to help in this regard. “Your father needs to be aware that… humans respond well to those; to know that there is an understanding and acknowledgement of wrong made. It may take longer for them to forgive but… they will eventually once they see there is an understanding and that the apology is genuine and not shallow means of closure. They fear it will happen again.” He fixed her with a look, leaning back against his shack, his tail swishing across the surface.

Neytiri’s expression was thoughtful. “Trust needs to be rebuilt.”

“Exactly. They do not trust because it’s happened once, it can happen again.” Jake said, “I know that feeling. I bought into the Marines under stories and adventure. I lost my legs. My brother died and… they gave me the same story and words of an adventure. Again. But…unlike last time, I knew what the story was and how they’d try and convince me.”

The Na’vi gave a soft sigh. “I understand. It’s…a hard concept.”

“I know. But… It’s part of human culture that’s carried on here. Humans will need time and guidance to undo generations of trauma, capitalist gaslighting and guilt. Most humans aren’t bad by nature, they’re misguided.”

“I will talk to the Olo'eyktan.”

“Thank you.” Jake pushed off his shack. “Oh, about tomorrow, Morgan’s gonna bring a few weapons to talk to him and Tsu’tey about. Knowing is one thing given you’ve spent thirty or so years seeing them but he thinks giving them a tactile understanding will aid on how to properly handle them.”

Kim was a grump as they rode the Pa’li to Hometree the next day. Jake rode on the front with her, another warrior was with Morgan who was happily talking though he knew it was best to talk to her before they reached their destination.

“You okay?”

“Yep.” Her answer was short and curt.

“I get you have hurt feelings, Kim, but… there’s a lot that needs to be properly settled between the camp and the Omatikaya clan. They know you’re upset about it but… please be civil.”

Kim tutted a little. “I can be civil. They abandoned us. We’re not the bad guys here.”

He pinched her knee, earning a light slap on the shoulder. “It’s not a bad-guy good-guy situation. They’re not human; they don’t think of it like that. Yes, there are some racial issues but going in hostile will always set you aside. You’re not here to forgive and forget straight off but you’re here to make sure your baby is healthy and has a good future. Give them a last chance?”

Kim seemed to churn on it a little but took a cleansing breath, her hand coming to her belly, though he felt a brief touch of her knuckle at his spine that vanished below his injury. “It will be nice to see old friends. The first time around, I was training to become an Ikran Makto, maybe I’ll get the chance to tame one after they’re born. Pa’li are nice but…they’re not fast.” Kim wondered. “Pregnant women aren’t allowed to tame an Ikran given they have to fight to the death to do it.”

“Fair.” Hunting for food was very different from challenging an overgrown death bat to earn their ride.

Once at Hometree, they dismounted and went their separate ways, almost.

Morgan went ahead to the spiral with his bag of toys to the Olo'eyktan and Tsu’tey

Kim was almost ploughed down by an excited child, the weaving group pulling her aside where he watched a few come and greet her happily; a few cooing over her belly with clear warmth. It was the first time she probably seemed to smile and relax.

Eytukan only watched briefly, Jake noted but didn’t speak but Jake hoped at some point the chief would speak to her.

Soon enough, Jake was pushed into being taught how to make arrowheads and shafts. The normal shafts were bigger than his own body so he had been tasked with children’s training arrows instead which was a good starting point.

Jake found the carving aspect to be most enjoyable. Much like how the weaving was methodical, but to see his results go from poor to…adequate as the hours passed was rewarding. Though his teacher spoke with broken English, Jake was glad to see the older man relax enough to correct him a good few times.

He should probably start to learn Na’vi. If he was to work with Na’vi, he needed to speak like them. He still had Augustine’s book she had sent him; it’d be useful as well if the others were willing to teach as well. Morgan was fluent and so… he didn’t want to stick out like a sore thumb by not knowing. Nadine probably would need to learn as well. The people shouldn’t have to learn English on the account of two new humans. Most of the teenagers and children knew English but that was by Augustine’s teachings and them sharing it. He was sure a few adults learned but weren’t making it known to him.

When he was dismissed from arrows, he rolled his way along the bumpy pathway to the bead makers but paused to see Kim descending down from the spiral from her visit to the Tsa’hik.

“All good?” He asked.

“So far.” Kim sighed deeply though her face was somewhat strained “I’ve got to up my minerals a little and drink more. Otherwise healthy.”

He sensed a tone. “But?”

Kim sucked on her teeth a moment, “So… turns out its twins. That’s why I’m showing a lot for three months.”

“Oh.” Jake lit up. “Congratulations!”

“Yeah…it surprised Mo’at as well. Twins…aren’t common, if at all for Na’vi. Their bodies aren’t built for more than one given they have different pregnancies to humans.”

“Wait, the avatar pregnancy is different?” he was aware of a few details given how…different his own avatar genitals were to his human. Internal, until needed which…was somewhat of a relief; getting kicked in the nuts hurt far less (but not painless; it was a high-value area still)

“It’s closer to human than Na’vi. Na’vi don’t have placentas.”

“How come they have belly buttons then?” Surely they couldn’t have one without it? He may have dipped out of Bio classes but that was a no-brainer.

Kim pondered the question “They—think of a yolk sac. Human embryos use a yolk sac until a placenta is established in the two months. They use the yolk sac continually which has only some small cord to keep the sac situated with oxygen. In labour, the child absorbs the remaining fluids and sac but the cord remains similar to an umbilical that drops off after birth. The internal cord withers away and is reabsorbed.”

“Woah.” Still, a more human-like pregnancy meant a human-like birth. He doubted the Tsahìk knew a lot about that. He was sure he could look through his collection or what his shack database had on human births that could translate. “Wait, don’t you have scanners at home? Couldn’t you have found out earlier?”

“I did. The second one hid.” Kim chuckled, “Plus, we wanted to things a little more natural and see how it went.” Though now, he could see she’d get a scanner set up to properly check on the babies once they were back home. “Mo’at wants to see you.” She finished, gesturing a thumb over the shoulder to the spiral.

Jake turned to it then back up to the blue giant. “Mind giving me a lift?” he was sure he could crawl up, it looked mostly smooth but… it was a long drop. Unless he strapped his chair to his back, he’d probably have to leave it.

Kim nodded, allowing him to slip out of the chair first before he was deposited back in it outside what looked like a woven mauri but it looked large and adjustable; to expend when needed. Inside, as he wheeled in, was a selection of mats. All but one was propped up out of the way. A small burning pile of fire sat in a dish that lit the small space up but it also didn’t smell like normal fire, perhaps incense of sorts. The was a selection of ceramic cups that were laid out across the floor in some type of organisation, dry and fresh herbs and plants also were tied upon a hanging string above their heads. Other tools were about though Jake’s eyes were drawn to the Tsahìk who sat gently mashing something into a mortar and pestle.

She looked up when he rolled in, her eyes following his wheels for a moment but she set aside her tools beside her after a moment.

“Please, take a seat.”

Jake nodded, sliding again from his chair and onto the mat, his foot catching on the rim of the mat but he sorted that out as he settled.

Her eyes were sharp in her examination, taking him in from head to toe before she seemed content about something.

“My mate assures me your words have merit. They’ve since some mild damage to one of the sky-people’s dozers which seems to have halted the metal beast. Our watchers have seen no evidence of being spotted.” She said, “This does…make me curious. You’re very at ease at betraying your people.”

Jake tilted his head. “My people as humans or…my people as those of the RDA?”

“I don’t see much of a difference.”

“Would you put Grace Augustine in the same ideals of a human with a gun?” He proposed. If he had any other names that this woman knew, he would have used it but…Augustine was well-known for a reason.

“No. She is not a warrior.” Mo’at said. “She is a scientist. A teacher.”

Jake nodded. “She’s one comparative example, but I’m not surprised you…don’t see much of a difference given… the humans on this planet are either scientists, miners or soldiers. You’ve not seen artists, musicians or our creators of stories. Humanity is more than what you see here because to come here requires specific qualities. No random person can just…come here and just sightseeing. Most people here are soldiers. Warriors to protect the sky-people village and their technology. If you’ve ever really seen soldiers and scientists, then you don’t know what else humans are beyond that.”

Mo’at hummed in soft consideration. “I recall you mentioning that the other night.”

“Humans are complex. I know what our struggles are and…what we’re capable of if we try hard to let go of the nooses of our beliefs and understanding a little more which is why… I won’t betray humanity as a whole, just the RDA here for what they’re doing…because there are better ways than what we’re doing.” Jake admitted.

The Tsahìk remained quiet for a moment of consideration. “I have known the scientists and the Dreamwalkers for a while. I know that they are as curious as children and seek to understand yet they do nothing while our nothing to stop the clearing and discourage our attempts of defence. You mentioned they would be harmed if they stood against the ones who strip. Are they really of no help to us?”

“They can be, if it came down to it. If their sky-person bodies were protected from the warriors and weren’t forced to rely on their technology. Most scientists are here for the science. Like…Grace. She loved your people and your planet and certainly disagrees with what’s happening. Her position as Head of SciOps give her more power than most in her department but…she still isn’t height enough to stop. I read in a report that if she or any of the SciOps attempts to warn you or finds means of stopping the clearings, they’ll cut the entire department off like it’s an infected limb. Kill the avatars and send them all back to earth.”

Mo’at’s eyes widened a fraction. “Kill the Dreamwalkers?”

“They’re redundant if not used. It’ll stop the drivers from escaping and blending in with you. Hell, if someone runs off to warn you, they’ll get shot. Me and Nadine were shot at when we were trying to leave. The RDA literally were the cause of Jerome and Kim human’s death.” Jake laughed bitterly, “Not all of them are even aware of their cage around them.”

Mo’at’s eyes drifted to the den’s opening for a moment. Silence stayed between them for a good few minutes before her eyes returned to him. “What other reasons pushed for you to escape, Jakesully?”

“I told you my reasons.” He said, his heart sinking a little.

“Not all of them, I sense there is more and...how the female reacted to certain areas of your explanation… You both have more reasons. Not mentioned.”

Jake felt a little stuck on how to answer; his hands clenching a little but he found his tongue. “Look, I was going to tell you but…I can’t tell you if Kim or any of my other camp crew are about. They won’t believe me but…What I have to say is important. Your mate and successors will need to know as well.”

Mo’at considered his words. “Simply, we will return Kim back to your camp early. I’m sure she’d be eager to return. In the meantime, your hands will aid with making some basic pain remedies for you to learn our herbs. Safe for Na’vi, humans and Dreamwalkers.”

Jake nodded, glad a little to be out of interrogation by her and to be useful.

For the next three hours, Jake was busy both learning but also talking more about the RDA. It’s structure as an organisation; anything he had learned in terms of their other projects about their world; that wasn’t a lot but he was sure he could check through the data he had taken from Selfridge’s tablet and check. He hadn’t really gone through all the files; just the ones about the Omatikaya.

Kim did leave, popping up to give him a brief goodbye though she looked far chipper than she had before he felt the bubble of…emotion rise as Eytukan, Neytiri and Tsu’tey joined them at Mo’at’s request. Jake wasn’t sure if it was anxiety or…the fact he was telling something that could get him laughed at when he needed them to believe him.

“Why must we be here?” Tsu’tey asked, crouching down following Mo’at’s invitation to do so with the two. “My hunters want to leave.”

“Then they will learn patience,” Eytukan spoke, crouching beside Mo’at.

“Jakesully wished to further explain his reasons for leaving the sky people, he believes it may be of importance for you to be aware,” Mo’at spoke. “He did not wish to tell in the presence of his companions.”

“Why must this be private? I believed you were very open with your companions” Neytiri asked curiously.

Jake hummed, in somewhat of an agreement there. “I am but… It’s kinda hard to explain without…ridicule from them. Right now, they won’t believe what I have to say because…for us, it was believed to be fiction or...something not real. Something silly and nothing to fear. I have no way to prove what I have to say is true to any of my scientist group but…I have to tell you this.”

Neytiri looked to her parents though Eytukan remained quiet for a moment then said, “Then speak.”

Jake nodded, fidgeting a little as he decided how to speak. “Right. So… some of this you may understand, some you might not but I’ll explain the best I can. In your world, you have your apex predators; Thanator and Toruk. They don’t have a species that hunts them as prey. On Earth, humans aren’t apex predators but, nothing hunted us for a good few hundred years. At least, we didn’t think so. There’s a species that…we have in our mythology. Across all cultures, there are variants of this species. Where I’m from, we call this species Vampires. They are a predator species that prey on humans.” Jake explained, his stomach churning a little as he spoke. “Specifically, they feed on human blood than flesh but I wouldn’t be surprised if they took more than that.”

“Sky people have predators?” Tsu’tey seemed almost amused at the concept. “Yet they think of them as…stories? Nonsense.”

Jake gave Tsu’tey a dry look. “It’s how they’ve hidden, Tsu’tey. They are known across cultures because they were found out but they’ve used the notion of myths and stories to hide. You wouldn’t know a human from a vampire until one ripped your throat out.” He shook his head. “Do you not understand how terrifying it is? Vampires look like Sky people. Humans. Because they used to be humans.” He took a breath but carried on with what made sense. “They…commonly reproduce by biting and converting a human into a vampire. I…don’t know if they do it via venom or if they do it through blood exchange—the science is lost on me—but they reproduce via conversion. They are sentient as you or I but they’ve been this successful in their hunting by…blending in with humans. There are a few tells that set them aside if you know what you’re looking for. It makes them perfect hunters if you don’t know you’re surrounded by predators.”

The unease was not unmissed.

“I can see how that is…uncomfortable,” Neytiri spoke, “Not knowing a friend from an enemy…”

“I know and… I wish I knew how a vampire changes from what they used to be like as a human. If they…the same person or if they change entirely.” Jake didn’t know but he was sure he had a good footing now, even as his heart pounded still. “As I said, Humans even now don’t believe and if I was to go and tell the others, they’d think I’m crazy to believe such a thing. Which is why I can’t tell the other just yet.” Jake ran his hand through his hair, “But they are real…I found out the hard way. My brother was killed by one.” He swallowed uneasily. “And they’re… they like to live in areas of high-mortality rate. They can kill and cover that with natural deaths happening all around them. Battlefields…was when I first came across them. We… Me and Nadine were part of a war on Earth. It was bad. There was a second unit, another group of warriors who had taken shelter in… a run-down, underground place while we waited for our leaders to pull us out of the area. One radio between us… We kept the radio on so we could keep morale up.” He paused, taking a second to clear his throat. “They had twenty… armed, gear-protected warriors with them at the time. One vampire. Four seconds. All dead.”

His breath shook though he was relieved to see the alarming tilt in both Eytukan and Tsu’tey’s ears.

“We heard all of it. Investigated it. A massacre.” Jake shook his head. “Vampires aren’t like humans. They’ve evolved to…be more. They have…abilities that are unheard of here. You can’t keep them out or keep them locked in. They have…impossible strength. That vampire that killed that squad of warriors clawed and bit their way through tens of feet of solid stone, concrete and metal. Humans built cars and…ships to go faster but vampires picked up a running speed to be faster than we can blink, or…they found a way to fly themselves. Hell, they might be able to shapeshift—change their form to look like an animal to hide out during the day…hell, may even be able to trick the mind.” He shook his head with a disbelieving laugh “They’re terrifying because they are unstoppable. You know humans are tough. I know you call us demons but our demons are worse than us.” He gave that look to Tsu’tey as he said that, watching as the man shivered a little, though he looked worried. Thank god.

Neytiri reached forward, her hand massive on his shoulder. “Then do not worry, Jake. This is not earth. You’re safe here.”

Jake looked at her wide-eyed. “No. They made it to Pandora, Neytiri. They’re here. In Hell’s Gate. Right now.”

That turned the den a little colder, eyes turning to Eytukan swiftly then back to him, Tsu’tey rose to his feet, his hand gripping his bow.

“They…are here?” Eytukan’s eyes narrowed though the alarm was not unmissed. “How?”

“I don’t know, but… if I had to guess, they’re still maintaining secrecy over the humans that are there so they can hunt inconspicuously on the population. It’s a much smaller population and chances are easier for news to spread. If humans found out, there’d be a riot. My…current confirmed count is four vampires, but the fact they’ve got control over Hell’s Gate to some extent shows me they have a few vampires in necessary areas. The warrior stations; to know the human orders and their combat routines, security monitors; to delete incriminating footage, or to add false ones to keep the image up and…one is the head of a department; a lot of control is established at a high level”

“That is…highly efficient. Which means it’s more than four.” Tsu’tey remarked.

“Four I met are in one department. The avatar program. I have to…assume there are at least four in every section to maintain coverage. But, while they’re not yet a threat to the Na’vi….the humans will find out eventually. I…don’t know what will happen when it does. Vampires…can’t leave your world like humans. Their….biology won’t work the same. They probably came to this world from an infected, converting human that… remained frozen that halted the transformation, for the travel but once they were out of cryo the conversion continued to completion.”

“These creatures, what do they look like? Are they indistinguishable from Sky-people or are there signs we can note and be wary of?”

“There are tell-tale signs if you know what you’re looking for. They…have a pale appearance as if they’re ill or very tired. They are cold to touch. They have red irises but the ones I’ve seen use a type of plastic called contact lenses, that’s coloured covering to look like their human eye colour that’s placed across the irises. When feeding or provoked, their human-like teeth sharpen into fangs, typically the canines of their teeth.” He pulled out his tablet he kept tucked into his chair; ready for this, pulling out a few pictures to show them the mythical drawings. “They don’t…or can’t eat actual food. They’re… able to live without their masks since they’re not… oxygen-dependent like us. They wear them to blend in with the humans.”

“How are they killed?”

“Well, they’re already dead. The conversion…turns their biology enough to remove redundant things. Like, it stops the heart. No heartbeat. It’s why they’re cold and….pale. They’re immortal in a way; they can’t age or grow old. Frozen at the age they’re turned.”

“Already dead?” Mo’at spoke, “I have…never heard of such a thing!” but she wasn’t denying its possibility.

“I know, but there’s a few ways to kill them fully but… some I’ve had to eliminate from our mythology based on evidence I’ve seen. Sunlight was once believed to kill them but I’ve seen them prance through those light beams without trouble. A wooden stake through the heart might be on the table, decapitation…maybe silver… I’m not sure you’d like that since it’s a type of metal. Possibly fire. They have…heightened senses. Amazing senses which means they can be overwhelmed. There’s garlic, but…we don’t have any of that here. It’s an earth vegetable or…herb. Believed to be acidic to their flesh. The religious belief stuff and running water’s just nonsense.” He pondered thoughtfully, taking away religious stuff as a possibility given it was put into the mythos by vampires to make humans think they had a chance. “I can check my brother’s seed collection to see if there’s a clove to grow from or see if you have a plant with identical properties to garlic.”

“What risks would these creatures pose? To us?” Eytukan asked.

“Once the humans find out, the chances are they’ll escape Hell’s Gate. Then they’re your problem as well. They might decide humans aren’t worth it. Na’vi has iron-based blood, like a human. They probably haven’t yet considered Na’vi as prey.” Jake watched as Eytukan nodded tensely. “They can outlive you here. Some vampires on Earth may be centuries old or even thousands of years old. The ones here will not be older than however long sky-people have lived on this world.”

“Which is why we’re to know as well,” Neytiri spoke, her tail swishing with unease.

“How come they have not been found out earlier; They feed off humans at the village. Someone would have noticed?” Eytukan realised

“Because…I believe they have power over the human mind. Telepathy is what we call it. We have no mental defences. Think of it like…bonding your queue with someone and controlling their actions through that with your desires, their…mind and memories. Make you walk into a quiet area, forget about them biting…” Jake felt a little queasy speaking about it.

“There’s a shit ton of mythologies of vampires. I’ll leave this tablet with you to read upon them. Some are true, some are not. But…I don’t know the full scope of their capabilities aside. I wasn’t about to sit down and start a Q and A when I wanted out. They would have stopped me.”

Mo’at took the tablet with more interest, though he quickly showed her how it worked but she looked understand quickly the basis. It wasn’t as painful as trying to teach his grandmother how to work the latest update for the computer.

“I just…one question.” Jake turned his attention around, “When…was the last time any of you saw Grace Augustine in her sky-person form.”

Neytiri looked at him sharply, her eyes widened and became horrified. “No!” connecting the question to the topic quickly. Tsu’tey’s ears flattened back.

Both Tsahìk and Olo'eyktan looked up from the tablet and then at each other.

“The…day of the shooting. I spoke to her to dismiss her from her lands.” Eytukan spoke, his tone turning weary. “She was pink-cheeked and sweaty as most sky-people in our world.”

Jake suspected as much. Something more recent. “Then…somewhere from the day of the shooting to…last week, she was killed and converted into a vampire.”

Neytiri’s head shook desperately “No!”

“I’m sorry.” Jake apologised, offering a hand to her. “But she’s cold. Believe me, I’ve felt her touch.”

Neytiri’s eyes welled before she dashed off and out of the den.

“Neytiri!” Tsu’tey followed after her.

Jake took a steady breath, though he looked back to the Tsahìk who looked a little paler with this truth, looking down at the tablet. “I know you were friends with her. I…couldn’t let you go to or across her without knowing. She’s the vampire in a high position as Head of SciOps of the RDA.”

Eytukan hummed in consideration. “I see why we needed to know.”

Jake nodded. “I’ll leave you to…this. I think I should go home now.” He didn’t like how it made Neytiri cry but…he supposed it was hard to hear. To know someone she cared for had been…killed and turned into a monster…it was hard.

He took the help of the warrior Eytukan called to get him back to camp, though he felt a swell of relief.

The Na’vi knew their monsters now.

I do post this on a03 if you're interested.

#avatar #avatar james cameron #avatar au #grace augustine #avatar the way of water #mo'at #jake sully #neytiri #avatar rda #neytiri te tskaha mo'at'ite #tsu'tey #eytukan #vampire #vampire au #vampire grace

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trawpius · 2 years

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2023 Back On The Wagon

I fumbled 2022 bigtime. Became artistically stagnant. Was more reclusive, experiencing a general malaise. So this year, I'm going to frame this resolution list in terms of the Biggest Swings and Worst Misses of 2022.

Biggest Swings

Resippies. I definitely added more dishes to my repertoire. Always a plus!

Workout plan. While I need to power through on rough days, I definitely upped the ante compared to 2021.

Stretch before workout: no prablam!

Really developed a strong housecleaning schedule. Tough to commit to the nastier items, like cleaning windows or bleaching toilers. But it's better than the past.

Duolingo 290+ day streak!

Slowly pecking away at intellectual pursuits. Learning software architecture concepts, refreshing myself on calculus and trigonometry.

Volunteering at animal shelter. A late entry this year, but I've been going every month.

Biggest Misses

Using my freezer space. Only meal prepping a single week

Better health habits. Still getting a lot of takeout, eating a lot of chips. Could do better vis-a-vis fruits and veg.

Hikes with Jolyne. It's a good idea! Any every time I think to do it, I come up with an excuse.

Creativity in general took a nosedive. 2 pieces of art per month? I don't think I drew more than 2 pieces for the whole year! Never mind writing, or using Blender, or even looking at my keyboard.

While Duolingo was strong, I didn't work on more formal language learning through textbooks or Wanikani.

Responding to people! Christ, two of my closest childhood friends reached out to me this year. And I can't get myself to respond in under 24-hrs? This is unacceptable.

Recontextualization

So where do I go from here. I had some wins, some losses, some mixed nuts. Is there a way to reframe things to improve in 2023?

Multi-week meal prepping. This isn't just a matter of using freezer space, but also a gift to myself in the future. It's the promise of a totally free weekend, devoid of food concerns. It's also the promise of variety. If I can flip-flop between chili and a stir-fry, I won't get sick of either.

Healthy Habits. It's not about complete removal, but about moderation and replacement. It's also about impulse control. I can get takeout, but I should reduce the frequency. Don't buy on impulse, when I have meals at home. Spread the portions over 3 days rather than 2 days. I can have snacks, but don't go back for a second serving.

Hiking. There's no recontextualization. It's a good idea, period. The problem is, I'm worried about Jolyne reacting to other dogs while hiking. So invest in a trainer! A well-trained dog feels more confident, and reacts better to other dogs while on leash.

Creativity. Part of my issue is lack of skill vs perfectionism. Although, perfectionism isn't quite the word. I'll redo line-art or repaint the same object, with diminishing improvement to the overall piece. I'm better off trying a dozen things, rather than redoing the same thing a dozen times. All of which is to saw: you're a baby beginner! Don't be ashamed to let people see your progress! In fact, use the visual indication of improvement over time to motivate yourself later!

Language Learning. Duolingo is good at incentivizing me to use it everyday. And it has the negative effect of making me feel like I've "put in the work" for the day. It is just idle practice, it is not active learning. Wanikani is actively learning Kanji and vocabulary. Textbooks are actively learning grammar. Conversation exchange apps actively teach, well, conversation!

Responding to People. Which wraps into my general sense of reclusiveness this year. But I can't just swat my own wrist, and say "buck up!" Why am I reclusive? Is it time-crunch, afraid of wasting my hours of solitude before work? Is it insecurity, fear that I cannot keep the conversation going, fear that I'm disliked? Perhaps part of this resolution involves interrogating myself deeply, as a person.

Resolutions

This has all been uniquely naval-gaze-y. Such is the way of New Years. Isn't that part of the tradition? So let's round this out with some regular-degular bullet point resolutions.

Try out 2-5 fasting. Articles claim it's good for reducing insulin resistance. Who's to say?

Continue workout plan. Try for more consistency. Also, maybe take up swimming. It's better for my ankle. Switch from Planet Fitness to The Y. (Also try roller-skating, which will undo any positives swimming has for my ankle)

Ask doctor about physical therapist for my ankle.

Ask doctor about psychological therapist for my brain.

Continue with the fruit and veg variety. More smoothies with protein powder. Try kimchi, try sauerkraut, try natto. Continue your foray into fish. Try some egg-based meals. Get more fiber in my diet, embarrassed blushing emoji.

Meditation, 20 minutes per day.

Sleep by 10:30pm, awake by 7am. Don't sleep in on weekends. Naps are okay. Reduce screen time and caffeine around bed. Make the bed a night-only place. Relax in the den, or on the couch.

Apparently sun lamps are useful.

Bitter topicals are the only way I actually stop biting my cuticles.

No hard commitments. Just do something creative, every day. Writing, painting, playing piano. And don't be afraid if it's ugly or amateurish.

Don't learn for learning's sake. Apply knowledge to personal programming projects or electronics projects.

Volunteer for Food Not Bombs or for work's Wheels on Meals program.

Go to the movies for fun. Every year is the Year of the Movie, babey!

Apparently people go to bars alone, and that's how they meet people? Is it insane to hang out and read a book at a gay bar?

There is a fine line between being weird and being mysterious. Much of it comes down to how confident you are.

A good old adage, but, don't hateread! It's a waste of time! Time should be dedicated to three things: earning money, expanding my horizons, and chilling the fuck out. In ascending order of importance.

Reread this resolution every day month. Every week, every day. Otherwise, you'll forget!

#arbitrary code execution #this ones long as fuck

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mh-and-celiac · 2 years

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Today is the 11th of December 2022 (we’ll always use DD.MM.YY moving forward if we date something).

We wanted to create this side blog to document our experience of adapting to the diagnosis of celiac disease, eating gluten free & the difficulties having mental illness present to the whole process. We are also Australian & vegetarian which may be useful to know.

From the MH side of things we have DID (dissociative identity disorder), hence referring to ourselves in plural. We won’t always but in this context it’s appropriate for us, usually when we talk about an experience we all have, we’ll say we, if it’s just one persons experience we’ll say I & this can interchange in just one sentence. CPTSD, anxiety, depression. We’ve had other diagnosis’s in the past but these are what are most accurate. We also deal with chronic pain, chronic fatigue, eczema, chronic idiopathic cough & inappropriate sinus tachycardia, which I guess may or may not improve with this change.

Our diagnosis occurred pretty quickly & is a bit different to others. We had intermittent stomach issues which really didn’t correlate to gluten consumption. But our GP (general practitioner) doctor chucked the test on some other blood tests we were doing. It came back positive to the antibodies. Still kinda haven’t really processed that. We went off to see a gastroenterologist. Our GP had sent him info that we experienced complex trauma & to keep things as minimally invasive as possible. He said something like ‘you get to decide what happens, we can do a gastroscopy to confirm diagnosis but there is debate in the medical field about the usefulness of doing that when there are antibodies present. We also don’t do it with children because it’s unnecessarily traumatic. So, you have the choice to do it or not. But if we don’t do it now, & things don’t improve on a GF diet, we may need to do other tests later’. So, naturally I took that option. I have follow up at the start of February to see if my antibody levels have gone down, to check nutrient levels because the damage from celiac does cause malnutrition issues & to check for any other autoimmune issues as they often come as a package deal. Then I’ll also have a bone scan to ensure I don’t have osteoporosis, for the same reason.

Today is also our first full day of gluten free.

Our gastroenterologist recommended we didn’t start GF til we spoke to our GP & a dietician. That didn’t quite go to plan as our GP didn’t agree that we should see a dietician (mostly because we can’t afford it). So, we just went with when we didn’t have a full days worth of gluteny food left.

It’s been hard. Both the last week & a half since diagnosis & today.

There’s a few themes during this time.

1. Grief of the loss of food that is really enjoyable when so much of our life is really not enjoyable.

2. Overwhelm of not knowing what to eat & having a lot of easy & safe foods taken away. Dealing with executive dysfunction impacting ability to plan, sequence, put into motion meal planning/preparation. So many foods that seem like they should be GF aren’t, which takes away so many simple options.

3. Overwhelm from my fussy self & also fussy young parts who really struggle to try new foods. Other than fruit & veg, everything is new.

4. Fixation on food. We’ve dealt with an ED so any focus on food can be triggering, & also because of not know what to eat, it’s felt like all I can think about all day.

5. Scarcity. Scarcity is really triggering having grown up with intermittent food insecurity & self imposed scarcity from the ED. Not having enough because of cost & again, not knowing what to buy. We are addressing this one by allowing ourselves to go above our food budget this week & just kind of stock up on snacks & easy food. I know this is a privilege not everyone can do, we don’t have a lot extra in our budget but we can do this just once.

Tip: biggest mind fuck I’ve learnt so far is that glucose syrup will be listed as wheat source or corn source & have wheat as an allergen. Glucose syrup is so heavily processed it no longer contains gluten. So, unless you have a wheat allergy it’s safe.

I hope that highlighting some of my experiences with diagnosis as a person with chronic mental illness & severe trauma & what I’ve been through in starting this journey.

If you manage to read this far, yes my picture is my greyhound & his name is Wes (abbreviated & never mentioned full name outside of the house, he came knowing his name, so I never changed it). He’s a rescue who was adopted 4 years ago at 4 years old. He is the biggest sweetheart.

#celiac #celiac disease #coeliac #coeliac disease #mental health #mental illness #did #cPTSD #depression #anxiety #executive dysfunction #autoimmune disorder #autoimmune disease #chronic pain #chronic fatigue #Australian #australia #gluten free

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jeppiner · 15 days

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Ways I save money:

I have lived low income for a very long time and this is how I save money. Personal care: I leave my hair long and put it up if I want it out of the way, only cutting the ends maybe once a year or less. No dye, no "styles", no lotions/potions, no hot appliances. Simple and healthy. I never do mani/pedi unless I do it myself, but no polishes. I only use a one skin moisturizer. Also no make-up. I am 60 and people can't believe how young I look. Shoot if I look that young, why gob it up with expensive bottles and tubes of stuff nobody needs putting MY money into some company's pocket. I need my money. They don't.

Clothing: I only buy what I need and sometimes it is used or given to me as a gift. I wear it until it falls apart. I don't have many clothes. How many shirts can you wear at once? One, right? So how many clothes do you really need. I would say I maybe spend $100-200/yr on clothes, probably most socks and underwear. I have a coat I've been wearing for 40 years. Still looks great because it was a good coat. Laundry is only done when it is dirty. I did buy a small portable washer because the laundromat is a killer. This cost $350 and saves me $900/yr. I dry everything outside on a drying rack or inside on the same rack in the winter. My clothes don't wear out as quickly.

Housing: We rent and we rent less than maybe what we want and then make do. If they approve a mortgage for 200,000, buy a house for 150,000. If you can afford 1000 for rent, only spend 750. You get my drift. Always live under what you can afford because all the maintenance, insurance, taxes, and upkeep will also be less. This way you can save. I seriously have very few cleaning products. A bit of all purpose cleaner (I honestly just dilute ammonia with water) goes a long way. Nobody needs all the potions people create. I have simply used hot water on the floors. How sterile does a floor have to be? You're going to walk on it immediately and it will be dirty again, so really, who cares. I have the same old furniture I have had for years. Decent quality, well taken care of, and its lasted decades. Some of it was my grandmother's or mother's. It still works.

Food: LEARN TO COOK FROM SCRATCH. EAT LESS (I can guarantee most people eat way too much of all the wrong things). FINISH IT ALL AND USE THE LEFTOVERS. I buy stuff on clearance, even fruits and veg and quickly process them, stew them, blanch and freeze them, or whatever is appropriate. I have gotten a whole box of fruit and veg for $5 and not one bit of it is wasted in this way. Beans and pulses are good protein. Learn to cook them. Never buy processed, pre-cooked, out of the box foods. You are paying for someone else to do the work. Make a big batch of something and eat it all week, or freeze the remainder and make something different mid-week. LEARN TO COOK. LEARN TO COOK. LEARN TO COOK. Shop the sales at one store only. What's on sale/clearance is what I am eating this week, but this only applies to fruit/veg, meat/dairy, and simple foods. Junk food on sale still isn't food. If you have to make all your own cakes and cookies, you'll eat less, because you can't be bothered. Don't buy ready made.

Transportation: Buy used, no-fun, and buy cash if you can. Keep it until it literally gives up the ghost. Keep it maintained. If you can't afford to do this, you can't afford a car SO GET RID OF IT. Any place that is within a 30 minute walk, WALK, don't waste the gas. You DO need the exercise. Combine errands or do errands to or from work so you aren't making extra trips. Obey traffic rules at all times, it keeps your insurance low. I have a 2012 Civic and pay under $70/month.

Time: STOP WASTING IT. Take all social media off your phone. Take all shopping apps off your phone. Throw away all advertising that comes into the house immediately. Get ad-blockers so you're not tempted to bloody shop. Your money belongs in your pocket, not theirs. No matter what they tell you, they're not doing you favours. If you aren't in front of a screen, you can cook, do laundry, clean your home, mend, iron, and take care of what is yours so it last longer. GET OFF SOCIAL MEDIA THAT WASTES YOUR TIME. The only thing I have is Tumblr and I am on it maybe a half hour every couple of days.

Entertainment: Use the library. Everything in it is free: movies, books, audiobooks, games, stuff, TV shows, printing costs only a few cents and saves you on stupid dried out ink for your printer you rarely use. Play board games or video games. I can rent both at the library. Visit your local pool, park, join a community sports team, take a hike, go to the beach. If it costs a lot, somebody is benefiting more than you. Change your way of thinking. Instead of thinking "a nice dinner out with a few drinks and a show $$$", think instead of going for a walk with a friend/family and maybe grabbing an ice-cream and a coffee at McDonalds or somewhere cheap. You'll have just as great of a conversation and your bank account won't look like a yawning empty cavern.

I guarantee you that I am just as happy as you, and probably, because I have no debt at all, I might even be more happy than you. Think about it.

#frugal #low-income #savings #budget #tightwad #cheap

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crystiesong · 8 months

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Garden of Possibilities

The heat inside the greenhouse was somewhat sweltering but Sam could endure it. He and Alex had been asked by Willa to help out with some orders she'd gotten from her job. Apparently Willa had a job where she sold flowers and fruit and veg. She was also apparently quite popular as she often had to work on orders; either putting them together or growing them with her magic.

At that current moment, Sam was helping plant some carrot seeds, using his claws to dig through the soft soil of the planting beds. It felt so good to do some planting again. He hadn't done something like this since he'd woken up in the modern day. And now with modern conveniences, he could plant so much more.

Something that was surprising to the young gargoyle was that Alex was into gardening; it just never seemed to be the sort of thing she'd like. The white haired teen in question was in the flower bed behind him, planting some bluebells. It was nice that they both liked it as it gave them something to bond over.

Sam heard a rustling noise behind him and looked over his shoulder to see Willa frantically searching through a patch of cabbages.

"Is something wrong? You seem distressed" Sam asked, stopping his planting.

Willa stood up and pressed a gloved hand against her head, caking it in dirt.

"No I mean- nothing. It's just I lost a ring that's quite important to me. It's around here somewhere" she rambled, continuing her search around her.

"Well what does it look like? Maybe we can help look" Sam inquired.

Willa slowly breathed in and out before answering "It's a somewhat simple ring that I normally keep on a chain around my neck; it's gold in colour with three gemstones, two small lime green ones and a larger forest green one-"

"Is this it?"

Both heads turned to look at the white haired teen who was holding something small that was connected to a gold chain. Willa rushed forward and carefully took the ring from Alex, examining it thoroughly.

"Oh my stars I thought I'd lost it. Where did you find it?" the older wizard asked.

Alex shrugged "I just found it near the door, maybe it got caught on the door handle"

Willa let out a sigh of relief and put the chain back around her neck.

"I got to say it looks like a nice ring, what's it for if you don't mind me asking?" Alex inquired.

"Oh it's my wedding ring. Me and my wife got matching rings but we didn't want to go overboard" the older wizard replied, looking down at the ring with such fondness.

"I didn't know you got married. Why didn't you say anything? Is she still around?" Sam questioned.

Willa had never mentioned anything about a wife. Was she still around? Had they separated? Willa's fondness quickly morphed into sadness.

"She's… not around anymore. She died a long long time ago but it feels just like yesterday"

Sam's heart couldn't help but feel for Willa. He knew what it was like when someone so close to your heart is gone and the heart doesn't know how to respond. There's a certain look you gain; one that's so distant yet so wrapped up in despair. He's seen it in many others, including his friends and he supposed others have seen it in him.

Willa's expression was quickly wiped away and a shaky smile plastered her face.

"I… I need to go finish some orders. You two stay here until I'm done"

And with that, the older wizard was gone. Sam couldn't help but look over at Alex who gave a shrug.

Not seeing much else to talk about, Sam got back to planting. But his mind couldn't help but start to wonder. Who was Willa's wife? Had she met her on their journey to find Zender? Was Willa happy with her? They must've had a great relationship for Willa to react that strongly.

"I can see you're thinking hard about something, may I ask what you're thinking about?"

Sam's head snapped up and looked in Alex's direction. She'd stopped her planting, preferring to lean on the edge of the planter and stare over at Sam. The young gargoyle couldn't help but chuckle nervously.

"Oh I'm not thinking of much, I just… thinking about love. Like Willa and her wife must've loved each other a lot if they got married"

He put his head in his hand and sighed, looking up at the glass ceiling. The sun sparkled through, illuminating the area.

"I wonder if I'll ever find love like that" he sighed.

"Well you never know unless you get out there and try. Let's start by telling me what sort of people you're into" Alex stated.

That… that wasn't something Sam had ever thought about before.

"I guess… I'm not sure. I suppose I don't care about the gender of the person, I'd just want to love them for who they are inside"

Alex nodded in understanding "I can understand that"

"Oh I'd also not want to rush into anything. If I'm going to love someone it'd have to feel right first" Sam added on, wanting to present his ideals fully.

The white haired teen continued to nod.

"Did you have anyone back in your time? You know, before you came to the modern day?"

Sam shook his head furiously "What? No. I… never had the time and I… just never met the right person"

"But enough about me. What sort of people are you into?"

Glancing over at the white haired teen, Sam saw her face briefly flush red before a sly smile came over her.

"Me? Well I guess I like several types of people. Men, women, enbies. I just like people" she replied.

That had Sam fascinated. He wondered what kind of people the others were into. Sam hadn't realised Alex was still talking until he zoned back in.

"-I guess in the end I'm just worried that I won't find love until I'm too old. Yeah I'm only just fourteen but I'd rather find love sooner rather than later"

Sam turned around so he was fully facing the young teen.

"I'm sure you'll find love soon. I believe in you"

Alex looked over at him with a knowing smile "Thanks. I'm sure you'll find someone soon too. Although dare I say you've already found someone"

That sent a wave of confusion Sam's way.

"Wait what? What does that mean?"

No answer was given as Alex simply stood up and walked away.

Sam stood up and scrambled after her "Alex, what does that mean?!"

#angst #fluff #gargoyles #superhero #mythical creatures #gardening #lgbtq characters #lgbtq positivity #writing #original story #original characters #oc #oneshot

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victorluvsalice · 1 year

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Just in time for the Flower Bunny to show up! Ready to spread flowers and cheer despite the miserable weather. Smiler attempted to change the storm to clear skies for their costumed friend, but it turns out the weather machine only works when the power is on, and guess what went off halfway through their attempt. *sigh* So instead they just gathered the regular chicken eggs and took the Bunny inside to chat. Victor also came inside for a quick snack while Alice hunted down her eggs -- another orange chicken egg, a regular white chicken egg, and another decorative egg --

And then I was like “right, I keep meaning for them to do this, and I’d better do it NOW before their day gets completely away from me.” So I had Victor hop into the “buy a retail store” menu --

And purchase Van Liddelton Groceries, the new grocery store I’d made for them! :D I believe I mentioned at the end of the last update that I’d had the thought recently that they should have a proper store to sell their produce and such in? I mean, I’d always intended for them to start selling the fruits and such of their farm -- that’s why they have the selling table outside their house -- but I never really got around to it. And with the produce piling up in their fridge, I figured that maybe what they needed was a dedicated lot to sell such things! So I built this little box, put in a few basics (including a bathroom -- complete with infant changing table! -- and a kitchen), and plopped it down in the Spice Market in San Myshuno, where the Old Salt House was (right next to Waterside Warble, the local karaoke bar -- I’m sure Smiler will appreciate that). Victor went off to inspect his new property, bringing Alice and Smiler with him, and I started fiddling with the layout, using SrslySims’ Grocery Store Consignment Shelves! Because if they’re good enough for her grocery store, they’re good enough for MY grocery store. XD I also tried out the empty grocery displays from AroundTheSims, but to my sadness they were purely decorative -- no slots to be had. Shame -- they would have been great for piling up fruit and veg in dedicated bins!

While I was busy testing out the shelves and making sure everything was adequately lit and whatnot, I made sure my Sims had stuff to do as well. Specifically, Smiler started playing with their new quadcopter toy, while Alice went to look in on a nearby protest! I’m not sure what the gang was protesting, but she seemed to be into it. She then went to look at one of the murals in the city and snag a poster off a utility box while Smiler -- feeling a bit thirsty -- dropped in at the end of the protest to meet one Kaori and make friends. At which aim they were successful, but Kaori then left the lot before they could ask for a drink. Darn it. Plasma pack it is then, Smiler!

#sims 4 #the lazy save #victor van dort #alice liddell #smiler always #the store name is a combination of all their last names in case it wasn't obvious #(or what is NORMALLY Smiler's last name)#I flipped between Van LiddElton and Van LiddAlton a couple of times #but eventually felt Van LiddElton looked better #and yeah those grocery displays are great if you're making a decorative store #or using Srsly's Complete Cooking Overhaul to shop for groceries on a general lot #but I was so hoping I could use them to display fruits and veg #and no dice #meeeh #at least the consignment shelves are looking great #lots of fun colors too #also a good look at all the eggs they found today #the real ones went in one of the retail freezers in the back #while the others I just left at the store #they're all dupes of ones at home so #might as well sell them!#also I chose San Myshuno because #well everyone in Henford-On-Bagley either farms #or gets their groceries from Kim #no market there #while the cityfolk of San Myshuno might appreciate a place to get farm-fresh produce and the like #plus I do like San Myshuno #I may not play with apartments but I like the festivals :)#they're fun #as the next update will show

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academyguide · 2 years

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[ad_1] This time last year, I had several goals in place to take me through to the new year. A lot I achieved, some I didn't and others changed with me throughout the year. However this year, I haven't really given it a thought. So when I was asked recently what my resolutions where, I simply said to be a better version of me. And that's what I want to talk to you about today. Like me, you might not have any resolutions in mind. So I thought this might give you a little idea for a few positive changes for 2019 and beyond.So what do I mean by a better version of myself? Well we can always improve. Be that in fitness, work, relationships, personality - there is always room for improvements. This year I want to take the time to do and be better, to be happier and make others happier around me, to make the most of this year instead of wasting it. So, to be more specific, here are a few ideas how... S E L F L O V E Work on that inner voice. Stop looking in the mirror & pointing out floors. Stop comparing yourself to others. Be kind to yourself!!! Focus on what you like about yourself, your accomplishments, your strengths. Act more confident and your confidence will grow. Find something you're good at & enjoy & you will learn to appreciate yourself even more. Remember, everyone is different. So embrace what makes you you. F I T N E S S What would you love to achieve? Get fit, run a marathon, deadlift 60kg... Or what do you struggle with? Work towards improving on that. Whatever your goals, work towards them, mix things up & challenge yourself more. The more you keep pushing yourself & overcoming hurdles, the more motivated & excited you will become. Your body can achieve a lot more than your mind would have you believe. H A P P I N E S S Something I think we're all guilty of ignoring our own happiness. It's important to slow things down at times & focus on what makes you happy. This could be spending time with family, a partner or friends. Exploring new places. Reading in the garden. Just make time for you, as you are important. Plus your happiness will rub off on the people around you & improve your daily life. So make time for you. S T R E S S Again, stop & slow down. Try to isolate the things that are actually important & make a plan of action. Feeling more in control will help you control the stress. As for everything else - be it work load, personal expectations, or others - ask yourself whether you do need to be worrying about them so much... As most of the time we don't. Again, slow things down, write a list and try to get a couple of things achieved a day. Stress will only hinder progress & will make you feel like crap. So it's very important to look after yourself, make realistic targets & don't punish yourself!!! F O O D In order to look after yourself, you need to eat well. So this year, try making a few positive steps in the right direction. Eat less processed foods & cook more (try Joe Wicks & Fit Men Cook for easy, quick, healthy recipes). Eat more fruit & veg. Drink more water. Eat less sugar. What ever you do, do it step by step - don't punish your body & cut everything out at once, as it will be a lot harder to sustain. But, on the flip side, remember to treat yourself on occasion! Balance is key & we don't want to be miserable!!! M O N E Y The route of a lot of worries. So this year, try to be better with it. But where to begin? Write down all your monthly outgoings & review - do you really need all those direct debits? Could you save money by switching? Do you need limitless data when your at home & work using their wifi most of the time? Could you save money by shopping at a different supermarket? Next, aim to put away a realistic amount in your savings & pension each month - be it £10 or £100, it all adds up! And vow not to touch it, except for big things (house, car, emergency, rainy day fund...). Final tip, once you know all your outgoings & what you'd like to save, give yourself a weekly allowance for the food shop, fun & anything else you'd like to buy.

This really helps me to control my spending! O T H E R S Help & consider others. Be polite & friendly. Smile at someone. Make their day a little brighter. Hold open a door. It doesn't have to be big, grand gestures. Sometimes the small ones make the biggest impact. Just think before you act. P E R S O N A L I T Y This one continues on from last year. Try to be more positive, happy & friendly. This will have a huge impact on your mood & others around you. Take Kimmy Schmidt for example, I know she's fictional, but her endless positivity is contagious & inspiring. I know I want to be more like that! So think, glass half full... So that is my aim for 2019. But whatever your goals are, good luck & stick with it! You may have a stumble at times & that's ok, it doesn't mean you have to quit. So stay strong for 2019!!! [ad_2] Source link

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ohtobeleah · 2 years

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IVE MISSED YOU!! Scrolled through so much to find the sort of mini part 2 you wrote for the plum vendor cause the whole thing was so adorable and spicy in the best way. Like imagine a few years later, Buckys doing better and you’re back in the US. he looks different now though you haven’t changed much and he DEFINITELY remembers you. He repays you for plums with a coffee date 🥺

Also SERIOUSLY MISSED YOU ❤️

Plums & Killers Masterlist

There’s a plethora of things Bucky Barnes can and can’t remember, but if there’s one thing he could remember, it would be that he’d forever remember the warm inviting smile that radiated from you every time he’d pass by the fruit and veg stand. Ripe plums he’s weakness and the way your laugh would simply make him melt into a puddle of the shadow of a man he thought he was, his absolute kryptonite.

“Three words you associate with happiness” Dr. Raynor would ask every so often during Bucky’s court mandated therapy sessions. Bucky would hesitate, one word would always come to mind. Nothing else, just one simple word:

“Plums—”

“Why plums?” Raynor would ask with a puzzled face, trying her best to chip away at the concrete walls reinforced with industrial strength steel beans Bucky had put up years ago to protect all that was left of himself. Bucky would remember your smile, the plum vendor, the bright smile of gorgeous eyes that saw straight past the way Bucky would blend into the crowd. You brought him to the surface with the ease of small talk and the tastiest plums Bucky could ever crave.

“They remind me of home.”

“And where would home be for you James?” Bucky didn’t want to open a can of worms by mentioning the small period in his overextended life where he’d met a girl who sold plums at her grandmother’s fruit and veg stand while on expat to Romania on a working holiday teaching English to the next generation of the world’s best and brightest. No. because then he’d be stuck in this god-awful office being grilled about how he wasn’t trying hard enough to assimilate to a life post Steve Rogers, post Hydra mind control, post blip.

“Wherever the hell my heart is I guess.” From time-to-time Bucky wondered where in the world you ended up. If you’d followed the developing new stories of his manhunt through to streets of Bucharest, the short answer was yes. Yes, indeed you did.

……

“Mum I’m fine, I promise.” You tried you best of try and convince your overdramatic mother over the phone that you were in fact, keeping you shit together after your very long-term relationship just ended. “Who needs men, honestly? What are they even good for these days anyway/” you chuckled under your breathe, walking through the park as you spoke to the woman you stived to be like growing up. “I’m just going to be that cool hip aunty that doesn’t have kids but always knows how to pick an excellent bottle of wine for the family events, I got this all figured out trust—"

Bucky, for some reason or another, perhaps by the grace of some God that saw pity on him, did see you, crashing straight into you as he took to the pathway that snaked through the park serpentine stile. Taking you down with ease, crashing to the ground on top on you. Fumbling around like a wild animal.

“Oh shit—” Bucky gasped, as he tried to protect your fall, cupping your head so that when you hit the deck it wouldn’t be painted with brain matter. “I’m so sorry are you okay? I’m sorry I just didn’t see you, kinda just came outta nowhere.”

“Don’t be, there was no other way I was getting off that phone call—" you sighed as Bucky pealed himself from you, standing to his feet before offering you a hand. Pulling you up with ease to your feet to meet his panicked gaze. “I’m—” you didn’t even have a chance to introduce yourself before the memories of the handsome mystery man came flooding back. Not so mystery anymore, more like, pardons hero. “James?”

“Lila?” Bucky couldn’t feel his heart, it was almost as if it had stopped beating. He knew what that felt like, the shock of electricity that would bolt through his veins. The way his teeth would crack under the pressure and the pain. This though, this kind of heart skipping a beat, for you he’d experience this over and over without question. “You sold me plums in Bucharest—”

“I did!” you beamed as you dusted yourself off, admiring the man who stood before you. He looked like he’d seen the world and then some. But even then, youth was on his side, for 106. “I thought I’d scared you off when you never came back, my plum sales were practically non-existent after you vanished into thin air.” You admitted. “But then I saw the news—” the tone you used frightened bucky for a second. How could you even bare to look at him right now, knowing who he was, what he had done. “I started looking into you a little more.” You trailed of for a moment, shily, almost embarrassed to admit it. “I mean I always knew deep down I was attracted to older men but 100 was pushing it even for me—” you got him, the way Bucky couldn’t hold back his laughter, it was instantly addictive.

“You were the only person I spoke to for months before Steve and those army guys destroyed my apartment.” This wasn’t the time or place to admit that you were the first women to help bucky explore his desires after years of torture. But as Bucky could sense the conversation fading, he couldn’t let you slip away. “So, uh hey do you wanna get like a coffee or something soon sometime maybe?” It felt awkward to ask, he felt awkward, but everyone from Sam to Dr. Raynor was telling him to get out there.

“I uh—” looking down at where a diamond ring once wrapped delicately around your left ring finger, you sighed, pressing your lips together with a leap of faith that maybe this could be it and that everything happens for a reason. The bubbling jealousy still there as you struggled to love yourself. But with the way Bucky looked at you like you were a lost treasure he’d been searching for how could you say anything but yes.

“I’d love to.”

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfiction #sebastian stan #marvel mcu #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes angst #tfatws #bucky fic #bucky barnes fluff #Bucky Barnes Bucharest #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes fanfic

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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 4 years

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What’s yours is mine 1

Warnings: nonconsent and rape, allusions to abuse, stalking, possessiveness, pregnancy, and more tags to be added.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Pairing: dark!Ransom Drysdale x pregnant!Reader

Summary: After five years, your past is far behind you but just as you think you can live your happily ever after, your ex shows up at the worst moment.

Note: I couldn’t sleep and ended up writing this and it will not be a long ongoing series but it will be a few parts. But Roo you say that all the time. Yes, well, I’m trying and I’m sorry but I’m gonna try to not be the worst.

Hope you enjoy it. Thank you. Love you guys!

Please leave some feedback, like and reblog <3

“Oh my god, is that really you?” the voice made you stand stalk straight.

You took a breath and forced a smile before you turned to the indomitable woman. You never expected to see Linda again, not after you broke up with her son almost five years ago. And there she was, as rigid and righteous as ever, her thin lips curved in a mocking grin.

“Linda,” you greeted her in a singsong and looked around the grocery store. You never went to the overpriced organic market but your local shop didn’t have dragonfruit and you had a painful craving, “how are you?”

“Darling, I’m just great,” she held an empty basket on her arm, an odd sight as you never expected her to do her own shopping, “oh, and look at you!” Before you knew it, her hand was on your stomach and you struggled not shy away, “how far are you?”

“Um,” you looked down at the large ring on her finger and resisted the urge to step away as you often did in this situation, “almost five months.”

“And married?” she grabbed your left hand and pretended to admire the small teardrop diamond, “gorgeous.”

“Mhmm,” you waited for you to release you and swayed in place, “you barely look a day older than the last time I saw you.”

“You’re well? You look well,” she primped her short hair at the compliment, “oh, a baby.” She reached out again and you sighed as she rubbed your stomach, “for luck.”

You tried not to frown and ended up laughing at the tension, “well, it was nice running into you.”

“Oh, you know, I barely come down here but we’re headed up to my father’s place, you remember, such a cozy house, and Joni is in charge of food and well, I wouldn’t trust her with a plastic spoon so of course, I have a back up plan.”

You nodded along with her awkwardly, frozen in the spot as the dragon fruit barely seemed worth the torture. Linda was hard to please and alway derisive, but for as long as you were with Ransom, she had taken a keen shine to you. That alone came with an edge but it was rarely used to cut you.

You forced another laugh, “that sounds fun, getting away from the city.”

“Ugh, just another family gathering,” she waved it off with her free hand, “I’ll have to tell Ransom I ran into you, if he even shows up.”

“Well, I don’t think--”

“He’s grown up so much,” she interrupted, “you wouldn’t believe it. He got his own imprint in my father’s company publishing true crime. He’s really making a place for himself now.”

“That’s great,” you tried not to falter at the mention of her son. You hadn’t ended on the greatest terms and your relationship had been tumultuous and regrettable.

“I hope you have a great weekend, Linda,” you said, “but I got to--”

“Oh, not at all, I’m keeping you,” she squeezed your arm, “God, he was such an idiot to let you go.”

You nodded and swallowed through your tight throat, “I’m glad he’s doing better for himself.”

“You too,” she trilled, “oh, before I let you go, darling, is it a boy?”

You blinked and your smile wavered, “how did you know?”

“I could always tell,” she said, “so precious.”

She gave your stomach one last pat and disappeared into the produce section. You blinked as you looked down at the scaled fruit in your right hand. Chocolate, you needed chocolate.

You were rattled as you waited in the express line and put your things on the belt. You hadn’t thought of Ransom in a very long time. Not much. His shadow followed you around in those moments when your heart raced and your head spun, but you had learned to work through those fits. No one else knew what happened behind closed doors, they only knew Ransom, not Hugh.

You paid and shoved your fruit and candy into a paper bag. You headed out into the misty spring air. The rain had finally stopped and left the streets slick and shining. The sun was hazy as it clung to the last of the clouds and you inhaled the wet scent of grass and gravel.

You let your key hang from the ignition as you took a moment to gather yourself. You stared at the modest ring on your finger and held your stomach and you swore you could still feel Linda’s bony hand there.

You had a loving husband, Dez, and a son on the way. Ransom wasn’t a part of any of that and this was just a blip on radar, the aftershock of the storm that ended years before. You sniffed and turned the engine. You wouldn’t go back to that store, it was far too expensive and the clientele were certainly not of your ilk.

🍼

Dez was in the kitchen when you got home, the smell of steak and peppers rose from the frying pan. You kissed his cheek as he kept one hand on the spatula and you dropped your bag on the counter beside the stove. You went to the fridge and poured yourself a glass of water. You turned and leaned against the marble and drank deeply.

“So, hon, how was your day?” he asked as he put the spatula down and peeked in the bag, “hmm, odd pairing but I don’t hate it.”

“I had a craving,” you shrugged, “it was… okay,” you heaved, “what’s for dinner?”

“Steak fajitas,” he said, “I trimmed the fat for you and,” he turned and reached out to you, “and I got you some champagne… non-alcoholic, obviously.”

“You know it doesn’t have the same effects,” you kidded as you put your glass down and settled into his arms, “and well,” you looked down at your stomach, “we already got one drunken night growing.”

He laughed and bent to kiss you on the lips. He rocked you as the pan sizzled behind him. You closed your eyes and tensed as suddenly your head flashed with the memory of Ransom, of the way he’d kiss you, harder than Dez, and the way it always turned to more whether you wanted it or not.

“Hey,” Dez pulled back, “you okay?”

“Yeah,” you lied, “hormones.”

“Aw, hon, well I have the perfect dessert planned,” he purred.

“Oh yeah?”

“Mmhmm, strawberry massage oil,” he framed your face with his hand, “a nice long back rub…”

“Perfect,” you giggled, “why are you spoiling me?”

“Don’t I always?” he smirked.

“Hmm, rarely without reason,” you said.

“Well…” he voice trailed off and slowly he dropped his arms. He turned his back to you and grabbed the pan, stirring the contents with a shake, “I didn’t want you to miss me too bad.”

“Miss you?” you came forward and bent your arms over the counter, “where are you going?”

“Chicago, there’s some evidence down there we need to look at and they refuse to transfer it to our office so… bullshit confidentiality clause, but we need it.”

“How long?” your heart dropped.

“Well, I gotta leave in the morning but I told Gary I won’t stay longer than Monday.”

“And what did he say?”

“He laughed,” Dez shook his head, “I promise, I’ll do my best to be back as soon as I can--”

“No, I understand,” you said gloomily, “it’s just…” you cupped your chin and tapped your lips with your fingertips, “I’ll miss you.”

“I’ll miss you too,” he said as he turned the burner off, “and this little guy,” he touched your stomach and you shivered as you remembered how Linda had done the same with her cold palm, “so, you choose a name yet?”

“Still not naming him Superman, babe,” you chided, “but no, I can’t make up my mind. God, it’s like my mind is in shambles, I can’t remember why I go in a room or even focus on one thing for more than two minutes before I’m distracted by what colour I want to paint the nursery and I can’t even decide on that because then I’m thinking about what kind of wood the crib should be--”

“It’s fine, you’re fine,” he assured as he opened the bag of tortillas, “you’re still there, you’re just… sharing a brain right now.”

“Wasn’t enough to go around in the first place,” you scoffed.

“Shh,” he arranged the plates carefully, like a five star restaurant, tortillas stacked, steak and veg together, a little dish of cheese, some sour cream, lettuce, salsa, all divvied out in a spectacular salsa you would only make a mess of.

“I thought the pregnancy would give me a chance to finish my book, but--”

“Well, you got maternity leave after that,” he said.

“From what? Sitting at my keyboard and crying? I’ll just be holding a baby and crying,” you sighed, “you said you’d take some time off.”

“I did say that and I will,” he grabbed the plates and nodded you out of the kitchen. He set the plates on the table and you sat as he went to grab two glasses and as many bottles. He poured you your spineless champagne and had a beer for himself, “I don’t want to miss anything.”

“You can’t take forever off,” you muttered, “we both know that. I could go back to copywriting and maybe--”

“Babe, that job made you miserable and you will finish your book,” he handed you a napkin, “I’ve read your stuff, it’s… you said your ex was in publishing?”

“Did I?”

“I thought you did, you never really… talk about the exes, which I love but, I think you said something about it. You don’t think he would--”

“No,” you snapped, “no,” you said softer, “he wouldn’t.”

“Sorry,” he said startled by your reaction, “I didn’t--”

“It’s nothing, I just-- exes, right?”

“It was a stupid suggestion,” he said, “I’m sorry, but… I have a client, he might have some contacts.”

“You don’t have to do that--”

“I don’t have to, I want to because the world deserves to hear your voice,” he insisted, “I hate to share you but I’d be selfish to keep you to myself.”

You smiled and unfolded a tortilla. Still, your heart raced as the second mention of Ransom that day had you on edge. Dez watched you build your fajita and you looked up at him.

“Well, since you’ll be in Chicago, maybe I’ll get a few pages done.”

🍼

The call came on Monday, Dez wouldn’t be home that night. You contented yourself to stay in with your laptop and sugar cookies. Still, you barely got a sentence done before you snapped your computer closed and gave up with a frustrated grunt. You slept, not well, and got up with some trouble as your hips ached.

A good morning text from Dez made you smile but there was still no promise of an impending return. You felt pent up in the apartment and lonely as its emptiness reminded you of your absent husband. Too tense to sit down and type, you opted to go for a walk, hoping it would calm your nerves.

You walked past the shop windows and stopped to peek in at used books and handmade candles. You had no destination in mind, only a restless step. There was a little store at the corner with locally made quilts and knitted sweaters. The smell of potpourri wafted out from beneath the painted door and made your throat tickle. Even so, your curiosity drew you inside.

A small woman greeted you from behind the desk. She held two needles as she crocheted some indistinguishable craft. You smiled and said hello as you headed down the centre aisle. You looked along the racks of quilts, floral, striped, plaid, and polka dot. You stopped at a bright yellow piece with honey bees along the border. You hadn’t thought of yellow for the nursery.

You felt the soft fabric and checked the tag. You lifted the quilt from the bar, content that it was worth it and a great motivator. You stopped before you could turn back, a familiar voice chilled your blood.

“It’s cute,” Ransom said as he stepped up next to you, “kinda girly for a boy though.”

You glanced over at him and folded the blanket over your arm. You backed up but as you turned he did too. He blocked your bath as he stretched his arm across the aisle.

“My mother told me you were expecting,” he said, “and she was right, you look good.”

“What do you want?” you whispered as you clutched the quilt.

“Nothing, just saying hello,” his mouth slanted.

“Hugh, I’m not stupid,” you hissed, “it’s been five years.”

“Hugh,” he repeated dully, “you remember your manners.”

“Leave me alone and let me past,” you tried to duck under his arm but he shifted his body over and backed you up to the end of the aisle.

“And married,” he taunted.

“He’s outside,” you lied, “if I stay too long--”

“I didn’t see him when you walked up,” he intoned, “he must be easy to miss.”

“Have you been following me?” you uttered.

“Only from the cafe,” he shrugged, “short walk.”

“Please, get away from me,” you quivered.

“I’m not doing anything--”

“You know exactly what you’re doing,” you hissed, “now I will scream so move.”

“Mama Bear,” he crooned, “I love it, you’re so protective.”

“Hugh,” you warned.

“Sweetie,” he hummed.

You shoved his shoulder but he didn’t move. You hit him harder and he winced. He chuckled and stood straight. He waved his arm down the aisle and stepped aside.

“Don’t make a scene,” he said, “you always did like to be dramatic.”

“Fuck you,” you snarled, “don’t come near me again.”

“Don’t act like you don’t miss me,” he called after you as you dropped the quilt on the counter, “we were so good together.”

You left without buying, a shrill apology to the lady at the counter as you went as fast as you could out the door. The bell tinkled after you and the door clamored shut. You felt nauseous and dizzy. The last thing you wanted or needed was to ever see that man again.

#ransom drysdale #dark!ransom drysdale #dark ransom drysdale x reader #dark ransom drysdale #ransom drysdale x reader #fic #series #knives out #dark fic #dark!fic #what's yours is mine

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drtanner · 2 years

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So I mentioned previously that I've been giving HelloFresh a try since my ADHD means I'm shit at buying ingredients and cooking and just about everything to do with feeding myself properly in general. I'm on my third week, it's going really well, and since everyone I've talked to about it has asked me to tell them what it's like because they've been curious about it but didn't know enough to take the plunge yet, I'm making this post to talk about my experiences with it! I hope it's at least a little bit helpful to some of you. ( b ._.)b

NB: I'm in the UK! I can't speak for the US or Canada versions of the service, obviously, so your mileage may vary if you're outside the UK.

I'm a considerate fellow, so I'll put the details below the cut! But I've found it incredibly helpful and convenient so far! I've got a discount link here that you can use to get £47 off if you want to give it a shot.

HelloFresh didn't pay me to write this, by the way. I'm just a guy who's giving HelloFresh a try and wanted to share. 💜

First of all, what's in the box? It depends on what you order! You can pick how many meals you want to get every week up to a maximum of four (I think? Maybe five?), with the smallest being for two people* but you can order for more if there's a bunch of you who need to eat.

You pick your recipes out the week before your box goes out (or you can pick all of them at the start of the month if you order all of them at once and then forget about it like I did!) and when it arrives, you get a paper bag for each meal with all of the ingredients inside, individually labelled with a number that corresponds to the recipe card it's for. Any particularly sensitive items, like raw meat or dairy products, will be in a separate, insulated bag with ice blocks inside it to keep them fresh even if your box has to wait a while before you get home to bring it inside. You get the exact amount that you need for each recipe, which cuts down on waste enormously and makes it blessedly simple to organise yourself; if you're a stupid mother fucker like me who buys fruit and veg with all the good intentions in the world and then winds up chucking half of it away when it rots in the bottom drawer of your fridge, this will be especially useful to you.

(The only thing you don't get an exact amount of, I've noticed, is garlic. Every week you will get a whole bulb of garlic in your box if any of your meals contain garlic, and by god you had better use it up in the week no matter what or you will, like me, start to accumulate an excess of garlic whether you want it or not.)

You also get recipe cards, which you can keep! These are printed on fairly sturdy A4 card and are very easy to read and follow along with even if you're like me and struggle with written instructions. I've made a few fuckups from not reading the recipe cards correctly over the last three weeks but for the most part it's been surprisingly easy as long as I take my time and doublecheck what I'm supposed to be doing and has never had any real consequences. The steps are clear and to-the-point, and there are pictures both for the cooking steps and the ingredients. I strongly recommend investing in a folder or binder to keep your recipe cards tidy with, so you can continue to enjoy them even after you finish with the service. ( b ._.)b

NB: It's especially helpful that while you're picking your meals on the website or in the app, each meal's page will tell you exactly what you need, including equipment, e.g., saucepan, knife, baking tray, and will also tell you if anything doesn't come as part of that meal's bag and what it's for, e.g., water for the sauce, olive oil for the dressing, so you can have that ready in your kitchen beforehand. No surprises! As a guy who won't go into anything without knowing exactly what to expect because he has a crippling fear of failure, this is very helpful.

The recipes themselves are very tasty! I've surprised myself a few times with what I've been able to make as a self-proclaimed Bad At Cooking Man™ and there's a really good variety to pick from on the site. I mean shit, I made risotto for the first time this week! I thought risotto was hard or something but it turns out it's easy as hell! It's been a really good booster for my confidence, lmao. Even when I've made mistakes the food has still been good, and I'm getting heaps more veggies than I was previously, which was my main reason for starting with this in the first place.

*A friend who tried HelloFresh before me told me that he found the portion sizes to be "very white girl", and having tried them myself for a few weeks now, I am inclined to agree. The two-person box makes portions that are just about right for me (dude living alone, 275lbs, body builder/strongman), but if you're a little smaller than I am you might find that you have leftovers if you don't have anyone to share with. You can remedy this by ordering fewer meals each week and saving yourself some money.

It is obviously more expensive than just buying groceries and doing everything yourself, but convenience costs, and arguably you might be making better use of the money you spend by actually eating the food you've bought instead of having to fish it out of the bottom of your fridge and do the walk of shame to the bin with it after having failed to use it before it went all soggy and nasty there. If it's in your budget - don't forget the delivery costs! - I can definitely recommend giving it a shot just for the quality of life improvements it can impart.

Re: delivery, you may be able to pick a morning or afternoon slot for your box to arrive each week for an extra fee, but this depends on your postcode and might not be available. I can pick a morning slot but not an afternoon slot here, for example, which is a pain in the ass because I'm not awake in the mornings! But you do get an email telling you roughly when your box will arrive on the day within a one-hour window, so there's that. Boxes are delivered by Yodel, who seem to have improved considerably as a service since I was grappling with them daily back when I worked at Virgin Media.

The quality of the produce seems good and I've yet to receive anything that disappointed me. I've had one (1) incidence of a missing ingredient but it wasn't anything enormously important and neither of my other two boxes have had any issues; indeed, I actually got some extra shit this week! So I guess I have spare cheese now, to use on whatever I want. Lucky me, lmao.

In closing, I do want to thank my Patrons for helping me to pay for this. I wouldn't have had the guts to try it at all if I didn't have the extra pennies they were tossing at me every month to spare for it! So thanks a lot, guys. I'm super grateful, as always. Who knew drawing weird dicks twice a month would help me achieve healthier eating habits? Fucking wild, who'd've thunk.

Anyway, if you have any questions, go ahead and ask me and I'll answer if I can. For example, I can personally recommend picking all of your meals at the start of the month and then forgetting about it as a strategy because it means that everything's a surprise when you get it and I find that kind of fun. I have no idea what Past Tanner was thinking and I have no idea what I'm going to get in next week's box but I know that I'm going to like it and that I'll be able to prepare it!

Have yourselves a good night and stay safe, okay? Take care! 💜

#Tanner talks #Tanner reviews

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turtlesandfrogs · 3 years

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Ok, so gardening planning. Garden planning considering the fact that I'm going to have minimal time during the growing season, and can expect a distinct lack of rain during the summer months.

I do want to focus on a few areas in 2022:

1. Growing a significant portion of our fruit and veg while not having a lot of time or energy for the garden in the summer. For the annuals, I want to have a sizable harvest of leafy greens, pepitas, carrots, potatoes, tomatoes, fava beans, broccoli, garlic (already in the ground), cucumbers, leeks, shallots, red onions, loads of basil and cilantro and green onions, and also I'll treat the passion fruit cuttings as annuals.

2. Minimizing the need to water & keeping in mind the possibility of another heat wave. I will be doing this by sowing directly when possible and starting early, so that they can develop a deep root system before the weather dries up.

3. I want a really good harvest of raspberries & strawberries. The other berries are still settling in.

4. I really want to lean into the insectary plants and see how well they work. I don't usually have a lot of insect pests, but there's always an aphid cluster some where.

5. I would really love to reduce the amount of weed competition for my plants, because honestly, I just don't have it in me to weed after a long day of working in other peoples' gardens.

Current plan/ideas:

(0.) Plant those plants that I meant to plant but didn't get around to planting because Covid.

1. Dig out all the free ornamental plants I got for free but aren't actually super attached to and give them away for free. Mulch with compost and wood chips to a depth of at least 4 inches. Ignore until it's time to transplant.

2. Prune raspberry dead wood and move into rows. Apply wood chips as mulch over the top of a generous amount of compost (but only after the heavy rains in Jan). Sow white clover as a cover crop in spring once the chips have broken down a bit (I've done this before and it worked, hope it works again).

3. Weed the area around the Saijo persimmon & assorted fruiting shurbs and vines, put down 4 inches of wood chips.

4. Cut down weeds and mulch around house. Think about later (plant things that are safe to plant in soils that may have been contaminated by lead paint). Probably going to plant rose family plants here..... perhaps creeping raspberry?

5. Extend pathways into back yard, mulching with a thick layer of wood chips.

6. Finish mulching under the pear tree and around the grape.

7. Decide where the annual vegetable beds will be and put down wood chip foot paths. Winter sow things like kale and fava beans as soon as reasonably reasonable.

7. Start tomatoes indoors in February or March. Plant in those paper pots, and plant out on the early side, well mulched and protected.

I'm sure there's more, but those are my thoughts at the moment.

#gardener #gardening #organic gardening #mulch

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mandoalorian · 3 years

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Happiness [Maxwell Lorenzano x f!Reader]

Author’s note: Please heed warnings before you read. This is angst. There’s a little fluff and a few spicy moments, but at its core, this is a pretty angsty read. It’s a different interpretation of Maxwell, post WW84. Reblogs are so appreciated. I worked really hard on this and it’s not showing up in tags so if you could reblog it... it would literally mean the world to me :( <3

Summary: After the dreamstone debacle, Maxwell Lord loses custody of his son, his home, his job and all his wealth. He has nothing, and what was once the simple task of ‘living’, is suddenly proving to be extremely difficult. Until a beacon of light enters his life. He can only hope that you don’t find out who he really is.

Word count: 4000+

Rating: 18+

Warnings: depression/suicidal thoughts, PSTD/trauma implications, poverty, starvation, binge eating, allusions to sex, male masturbation, food and drink mention.

Masterlist

Max is usually pretty good at keeping himself to himself, but when he hears the commotion from outside his small shanty apartment, he cautiously stalks towards the front door and leans into the wood, gazing out the peephole. He spots you, struggling to unlock the door located on the far side of the hall. Your arms are filled with brown paper bags and an abundance of cardboard boxes circle around your feet. He hears you curse as you drop one of the paper bags. It rips, and groceries spill onto the floor with a clatter. He swallows thickly, feeling his tummy grumble at the sight of fresh fruit and colourful veg. Max hadn’t eaten a single meal this week.

He spends a few more seconds watching you struggle, before the guilt swarms over him and he feels like a creep. He does wonder if he should leave his apartment and help you out though, but eventually he decides on turning his heel and walks back to the torn leather sofa. He just knows he’ll be some kind of intrusion on you. If Max has learned one thing, it’s that he needs to stay away from other people. Otherwise, he’d just hurt them. Even if hurting them was the last thing he intended to do.

Still, he finds himself marvelling over you. He wants to go over and introduce himself. He thinks you’re absolutely stunning. Maybe it’s just because he hasn’t seen a woman (other than his ex-wife) in just short of a year, or maybe it’s something more genuine -- like the way you wear your hair or that glimmer in your eye. Once upon a time, Maxwell would’ve strolled on over to your apartment with the utmost confidence and charm, with the sole intention of winning you over and taking you back to his place. He wouldn’t dare do that now.

He stares at the wall clock, and watches as the minute leg ticks. It’s painfully slow. It’s 5:52pm, and Maxwell is just waiting until 6pm, because he knows at 6pm he can call his son, Alistair. If he tries calling a second earlier though, he is certain his ex-wife will throw a rage, claiming that he’s breaking court order. Maxwell had never been one to follow rules, but now, he didn’t have much of a choice. As he waits for the leg to strike 6, all he can really do is think about you. Truth be told, he hates that he’s thinking about you this much. He doesn't even know you.

But you’re so pretty. Your features are soft and delicate. Your clothes fit you perfectly and hug your body in all the right places. He can’t help but think what you sound like. He wonders if you’re from around here. He wonders why you moved into this particular neighbourhood, out of all the other neighbourhoods in rural D.C. He should go over and say hello at least. It would be the polite thing to do. He considers bringing over a bottle of wine to make a peace offering, but then he remembers all he has in his refrigerator is a stick of butter and a bottle of milk that has grown old and fermented. He assumes that you probably wouldn’t care for such housewarming gifts.

Maxwell calls Alistair as soon as the clock turns six. As always, Alistair is more than excited to speak to his dad, beaming brightly down the line. Alistair tells Maxwell about his step-father, and how he’d built a pool in their back garden for Ali and his mom. Max’s lips curl into a frown when he realises that his ex’s new husband is giving Alistair everything Max couldn’t. And once again, Maxwell feels like he has failed as a father.

For a short while, Alistair babbles about his day at school and how he got full marks on a pop quiz. Maxwell is as proud as punch. He has no doubt that success will one day find Alistair, he just hopes Alistair has an easier time handling it. Max can hear a faint yelling in the background of the phone call and eventually Alistair is interrupted.

“Oh-- mommy is calling me to eat dinner.” Alistair says softly, his voice suddenly growing oddly timid. Max’s stomach grumbles again at the mention of dinner.

“But we still have ten minutes left of our phone call.” Max replies matter-of-factly. He hopes Alistair can’t hear the disappointment in his voice. This isn’t his fault. He hears his ex yell again and Max can’t help but feel his face harden with disdain.

“I know, I’m sorry daddy, but I have to go.” The croak in Alistair’s voice is enough to break Maxwell’s heart. He wishes this could’ve been different. It should’ve been different.

Max knows he can’t argue though. It’s only futile. So he accepts the fact that Alistair has to leave the phone call early -- at least he was getting something to eat. Maxwell remembers when he was Alistair’s age. His mom always struggled to put food on the table because his dad would spend all the money on drinks at the local bar. Maxwell is just grateful his son isn’t starving.

“Okay, it’s okay,” Maxwell reassures before taking a shaky exhale. “I love y--”

But then, the line went dead. Max assumes that Alistair’s mom has ripped the phone from his hand and hung up. Sighing, Maxwell forces himself to stand up and walk on over to his bedroom. The bed is unmade and there are several piles of dirty laundry all over the floor. He jams open the sticky window and climbs onto the balcony, inhaling the cool evening air and lighting a cigarette. Smoking was a habit he’d gotten himself into when he was much younger, but he’d grown out of it when he’d hit limelight. Now though, it was growing back in to be a shameful addiction that he just couldn’t shake. It helped him stop feeling hunger, though.

As he flicks the orange lit ash over the edge of the balcony, his eyes catch on you again. You are standing on the street, talking to some guy. You’re laughing, and it looks like this mystery man’s hand is caressing your arm. It’s probably your boyfriend; Maxwell assumes, and the pang of jealousy in his chest turns into unadulterated sadness as he realises he was probably never going to find love again. He peers over the edge of the balcony once more as he takes a final drag of the cigarette, and he wonders if the jump would kill him.

Maxwell’s eyes begin to sting, and he climbs back into his bedroom, knocking his head on the window pane in the process.

He can’t sleep that night, and he tosses and turns in his three quarter sized bed. He could feel every spring in his mattress. What he would give to just sleep one more night in the soft, plush king sized bed he used to take for granted. He switched on his amber tinged bedside lamp and swatted away a moth that flew towards it. Maxwell stared at the ceiling and wondered if the damp had gotten worse. Even if it had, it wasn’t like Max had the courage to bring it up with the landlord.

He finds himself thinking about you again. He lived to see the way you smiled when you spoke to that guy, or the way your hair blew ever so slightly in the evening breeze. Max wraps his hand around his semi-hard cock and begins to jerk himself off. To nobody’s surprise though, he doesn’t finish -- the overwhelming feeling of revolt consuming him. He thinks he’s disgusting, and that nobody would ever want to touch him. He can’t even stand touching himself.

He falls asleep not long after that.

Max once had a pretty decent sleep schedule, going to bed at 10 and waking up at 6. But now he was up until the early hours of the morning, overthinking and hating himself. He wakes up three or four times a night from the same recurring nightmare. It’s a replay from the clear night of July ‘84, when he took over everyone’s TV screens. His doctor prescribed him therapy for it, which would probably help, but Maxwell just can’t afford it.

He wakes up to the sound of a bang on his front door. Max scrambles to his feet in a panic, checking the time on his alarm clock. It’s 2pm. And the person at the door could easily be his landlord, finally having enough and kicking him out. Max’s rent is two months overdue.

But it’s not his unforgiving landlord. It’s you. And you’re holding a fruit basket.

“Hey neighbour!” you smile pleasantly before introducing yourself to him. “I just moved in across the hall. I wasn’t sure what you’d like… but I figured everyone likes fruit!”

Maxwell stays quiet, standing there in complete disbelief. No one has shown him this amount of kindness in so long…

The prolonged silence makes you feel a little strange. He still hasn’t accepted the fruit basket, nor had he said anything. He was just… staring at you. It wasn’t a slimy gawk. You couldn’t quite put your finger on what his dark eyes were trying to tell you.

“—I’m sorry,” you continue eventually when he doesn’t speak, dropping the fruit basket by your side and turning away. “I uh— would you like me to get you something else?”

Maxwell’s eyes widen and he quickly shakes his head. “No!” he exclaims, opening his front door wider and taking the fruit basket from you. “I’m sorry,” he apologises. “I uh— I love fruit.”

You smile at his fluster, and you swear you notice a rosy pink blush cross his cheeks. It’s adorable.

“Oh okay, that’s good then.”

Maxwell prays you can’t hear his stomach grumble at the sight of the fresh fruit. He’s so excited to eat it all. “How can I repay you?”

You raise your eyebrows at his proposition and chuckle awkwardly. “Repay me? No no,” you laugh. “It’s just a fruit basket,”

It wasn’t just a fruit basket though. It was the only food Max had.

“I mean, you could tell me your name.”

Maxwell curses, realising he hasn’t even introduced himself. Gods— he wonders when exactly he’d lost his charm.

“Right, I’m sorry. I’m Max.” He extends his arm and offers you a handshake. You giggle, but accept.

He feels a bolt of electricity run up his arm when your fingers interlink with his, and he wonders if you can feel it too.

“Very formal Max,” you acknowledge with a smile.

Maxwell genuinely hasn’t communicated with anyone since July 1984. It’s probably about time he ditches the businessman persona, although he doesn’t realise he still uses it from time to time. Old habits die hard.

“I must say, I feel like I recognise you from somewhere.”

“No. You don’t.” Maxwell quickly snaps back and you’re afraid you struck a nerve.

There’s a longer silence and you find yourself wondering about your neighbour. He’s right in front of you and yet you can’t help but feel as though he’s some kind of enigma. Maybe it’s the crinkles in the corner of his eyes or his wry smile.

“Um…” you mumble, your gaze trailing behind him as you try and peer into his apartment. You can’t see much though. From where you stand it looks very empty… and brown. “If you weren’t busy tonight maybe you could come over and we could get to know each other. I uh-- don’t have many friends yet.” you explain shyly, nervously biting your lip.

You didn’t usually get nervous talking to new people, but there was just something about Maxwell that you couldn’t quite put your finger on. His presence made butterflies flutter in your tummy and your hands feel clammy with excitement… or maybe anticipation. He stares at you blankly before clearing his throat.

“I uh-- yeah I mean-- maybe,” Maxwell shrugs cooly. “If I’m not busy.”

Pft, busy. Max hasn’t been busy since the dreamstone debacle.

“Of course,” you nod your head and smile. “Well, you’re welcome to come on over anytime.”

And then, without thinking, Maxwell replies. “And you’re welcome to come over here anytime too.”

You feel your smile grow into a grin and you reach out, placing your hand on Max’s arm. “Okay, well, it was nice meeting you.” you bite your lip.

Max’s heart stops when you touch him, and for the first time, he doesn’t flinch away. You’re holding his bicep and… he likes it. It’s not sending him into a spur of anxiety, in fact, he feels better just for finally plucking the courage to talk to you. And now you’re touching him. You’re not repulsed or disgusted… in fact, you’re smiling. You look happy, and maybe Max is happy too. Maybe. Max doesn’t even realise the small smile that’s crept upon his lips.

“Nice meeting you too.” He swallows and you wave goodbye.

He watches you walk back into your apartment, drinking in your appearance. You were wearing jeans and a sweatshirt today. It was casual… but he liked it.

Even when he finally gets back into his apartment and slumps against his front door, he’s still smiling. This feeling is so unfamiliar.

Maxwell finds himself pondering whether or not he should visit you tonight. He so desperately wanted to see you again-- see your pretty face and sparkling eyes and that perfect smile. Maybe Max could have a friend. That would be nice.

But he quickly gets scared again. He knows immediately that you’re too good for him, and that he’ll only end up hurting you. And then he’ll be left alone again. Max doesn’t know if he can survive another heartbreak.

Once again, he lights a cigarette and sits on the balcony, and wonders if the jump will kill him.

Then he realises he suddenly doesn’t want to die. At least, not yet. He wants to see you again first.

Max doesn’t even bother finishing the cigarette. He taps away the ash and climbs back inside, stripping himself of his clothes and turning on the shower. If he was going to see you tonight, he’d at least make the effort.

The soap he uses is from Dollar Tree, and it doesn’t really have a scent. It made a change from his favourite Jo Malone pomegranate fragranced soap, that’s for sure. He gets annoyed trying to squirt out the very little remenints of his shampoo bottle. Although he doesn’t have much, he’s satisfied when he comes out of the shower. He feels clean and fresh.

Maxwell rakes through his tiny collapsing wardrobe, trying to find an outfit that will make him appear somewhat presentable. He’s probably overthinking this whole thing -- after all, it isn’t exactly a date. But he still feels the strong inclination to impress you. He so desperately wants to be liked by you.

Most of his everyday wear is stained or ripped or very aged. But then he spots the small duffel bag at the bottom of his closet and he remembers he packed some of his old business wear when he moved out of his manor and into this apartment. He hadn’t looked in the duffel bag once since moving though, afraid that seeing the clothes would unleash some kind of trauma on him.

Max crosses his legs and hesitantly unzips the black bag. Inside, he finds a few fitted shirts, a few tailored pants, and one suit jacket. He even spots a belt and two patterned ties. He’s a little upset though when he can’t find the suspenders he used to wear. They were always his favourite part of his outfit.

Maxwell can’t bring himself to dress in the whole get up, but he does pick out a white button down shirt and grey pants. He tucks the shirt in, and wraps the belt through the loops in his pants, clicking it into place. Opting to look slightly more casual, Max leaves the first two buttons of his shirt undone and rolls the sleeves up to his elbows.

And for the first time in a long time, Max likes the way he looks. He wishes he had some cologne to spray, and he could definitely do with a haircut, but this is good enough.

He doesn’t want to seem desperate, so he does wait (albeit impatiently) until 8:30pm to see you. In the meantime, he eats over half of the fruit basket. He tells himself he’ll stop after an apple and an orange, but strangely enough. He can’t. He can’t stop. It just tastes so good and he’s so hungry -- so he eats until he feels sick. He wants to lie down because he really doesn’t feel too good at all, but he’s not going to pass up this opportunity to see you for anything. He feels a little cold, so he throws on his suit jacket which is grey in colour and matches the tailored pants. Max chokes down a glass of water, straightens up his posture, and knocks on your door.

He’s not waiting for long, and he’s delighted when he sees you answer the door. Your lips are painted a ruby red colour and you’re wearing your hair differently. Not only that, but you’d changed out of your sweater and jeans, and now you’re doting a knee length flowy dress. Your feet are slipped into some fuzzy looking slippers though, and Max admires the small diamond stud earrings that you don. They really bring out the colour of your eyes.

“I was hoping you’d come.” you reveal nervously, opening the door wider and looking your neighbour up and down. He looks so incredibly handsome in his change of outfit. Max feels himself blush under your gaze and he smiles.

“I just couldn’t pass this up.” he laughs nervously.

You move out the way and gesture for him to enter your apartment. Max notes that it’s roughly the same size as his, but it’s already filled with more furniture. Judging from the plentiful cardboard boxes in every corner, you hadn’t finished unpacking either. You find yourself watching Max as he takes in your front room. You take his jacket and hang it on your coat peg which stands by your front door. You definitely do recognise him from somewhere, especially seeing him in that shirt and those pants…

You shrug off your curiosity temporarily though, and take his hand, pulling him into your kitchen. Max loves the way your hand fits so perfectly into his. He doesn’t want you to pull away. And you don’t, until you reach the refrigerator.

“I have cranberry juice, tea, coffee-- no milk though, uh…” you trail off and check the cupboards. You beam when you see the bottle of champagne that your friend had gifted you. It was to celebrate moving out. You present him with it and grin. “Would you care to have a glass with me?”

Max remembers the distinct taste of the bubbles on his lips and he nods in agreement. You don’t have any fancy glasses, let alone flutes, so you pour the pale yellow liquid into two plastic tumblers. You hand one to Max and cradle your own in both of your hands.

“You should propose a toast.” you laugh jokingly.

Luckily, Maxwell has always been able to handle being put on the spot. He only takes a few seconds to come up with something.

“To new friends.” he announces with a charming smile, and clinks his cup against yours.

Max hasn’t had a drink in a long time, so it doesn’t take long for it to reside in his system and he begins to feel a bit tipsy. It’s not bad though. Maxwell is relaxed, and he’s comfortable. You bounce off each other and make each other laugh right up until the early hours of the morning. You bring out Monopoly and you’re surprised at how good he is at it. He gives you advice on buying properties and investments and it truly sounds like he knows what he’s talking about. You wonder what he does for a living.

“I didn’t say this earlier,” Max says as you pour out the last of the champagne. The alcohol has him buzzing with confidence. “But you look breathtaking, really. That dress and those earrings and your lips…”

And you don’t know what it is, but Max just makes you feel so good. “My lips?” you repeat breathlessly, gazing into his honeyed brown eyes.

Max nods wordlessly when you climb into his lap and straddle his hips. You place the palms of your hands flat against his chest and nudge your nose against his, giggling playfully. Max feels scared -- he’d never been this close to anyone in so long, let alone a beautiful woman like yourself.

Gods, he’s so handsome too. A small piece of his hair has fallen out of place and it crosses his forehead. You’re quick to brush it out of his face with your finger, and one of your hands cup his cheek. He closes his eyes and leans into the warmth of your touch, humming in contentment. When he opens his eyes again, they’re noticeably shades darker.

“Can I kiss you?” He asks, his voice low like it had dropped a few octaves.

You nod desperately and your lips crash against his.

You don’t know if it’s the alcohol or the adrenaline but he’s an amazing kisser -- perhaps the best you’ve ever had. You roll your hips over his lap and he moans, but doesn’t break the kiss once. His large hands roam around your back and squeeze at the soft flesh of your thighs. The Monopoly game has been long discarded now, leaving only you and Max revelling in each other’s touch.

You want more. You want him. You dip your hand in between your bodies and find his belt, trying your best to undo the buckle so you can get him out of his pants. You’re certain you can feel his erection pressing against the inside of your thigh, and you’d be right in thinking he wants this too.

But what he wants the most, is to not ruin things between you both, and Max feels like that maybe this is all happening a bit too fast. He doesn’t want to reject you, and he’s afraid of hurting you, but he’s also afraid of you getting so close to him -- that you find out who he truly is, and the things he does. He doesn’t want to lose you because you make him feel so happy. For the first time in potentially years, Maxwell feels genuine happiness. He doesn’t want to fuck up, not when he’s been doing so well.

So he pulls away from you breathlessly and moves your hands away from him. He holds them though, brushing his thumbs in comforting circles against your soft skin.

“I really like you,” he smiles. “And tonight has been… great. You have no idea how much I’ve enjoyed myself. But I-- I really want to see you again. And do this again. And have a good time with you. I just don’t think we should-- you know--” Maxwell tries to explain. He feels bad for rejecting you. “It’s not that I don’t want to. Because trust me,” he sighs, closing his brown eyes. “I really really do. But--”

“You don’t have to explain yourself,” you smile, fiddling with the collar of his shirt. “I understand, and honestly, I think you’re probably right. I’ve had a good time too though.”

Maxwell can’t help but beam knowing that there’s no hard feelings between you both.

“So we can do this again?” he asks hopefully.

“Yes.” you reply, pressing a chaste yet sweet kiss to his lips.

You wiggle off his lap and Maxwell stands up. “I should head back home then,” he says. “It’s late. But maybe we can do something tomorrow?”

“I’d like that a lot.” you agree.

Max gives you one final kiss and part of you wants to ask him if he’d be willing to stay the night. You shake away the temptation and tell yourself there’d be plenty more opportunities for him to stay over. Before he leaves, you see him abruptly spin around on his heel and point his index finger towards you.

And your heart drops.

You freeze.

You think you can feel your blood run cold and the colour drain out of your face.

Because in that moment, when he points his finger at you, you recognise him.

You remember him.

You know who he is.

“I almost forgot my jacket.” Max laughs, sliding past you.

You feel like you can’t move though.

This was the man who single handedly almost destroyed the entire planet.

But how -- how could it be Maxwell Lord? He was so sweet and kind and funny. How could the man you just made out with, the man you shared a bottle of champagne with -- your own neighbour…

How could it be Maxwell Lord?

How hadn’t you noticed sooner. Hell, his name was literally Max Lorenzano.

“Goodnight.” Max tells you.

You try and force yourself to say it back but no words come out. Your throat feels dry and you’re panicking.

Max doesn’t even notice though. He’s too busy beaming with happiness when he leaves.

You aren’t sure if you’re going to see him again.

When Maxwell gets back home, he can’t rid himself of the grin that’s plastered across his lips. He sits out on the balcony and lights a cigarette, but this time, when he looks at the ground beneath you, he doesn’t wonder if the jump will kill him.

His eyebrows furrow together when he notices the florist across the road, and he wonders how much a bouquet of flowers will cost him. He wants to get you something; as a thank you for giving him a good time.

He simply can’t wait to see you again.

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