#i need to go to the laundromat and my parents house though
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i have made wonderous progress with the shirt, having finished the front panel and half of the back panel đ©” yay đ©”
#idk what my plans are for tomorrow exactly#i need to go to the laundromat and my parents house though#so i probably won't make nearly as much progress as i want to#also i am NOT looking forward to weaving ends :'))))))#rip me#but that's always my least favorite part#that said this short is coming together SO SO FAST that it is 100% possible that i probably COULD finish it in lile 2 days of i just Work#which is insanneeeeee#i cant wait to sew it together and do the sleeves already UGHHH im so excited#shh ac#crochet
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Laundry Night in Gotham
(Part 1 of Bashful Beginnings with Bengal.)
Read on AO3.
Tags: Bruce Wayne, Batman, Gotham City, Original Child Character(s), Original Female Character(s), Gotham is Gotham, Child Reader is Just Doing Her Best, Canon Divergence, A Little Angst with a Happy Ending, Bruce Wayne is the Ray of Sunshine We Deserve, Good Parent Bruce Wayne, Bruce Helps a Child, Child Gets Lost, I Love Bruce Because He's a Sweetheart, Bruce Knows ASL, Quiet Child OC, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Family Fluff, This is the Introduction to a Whole AU My Friends and I Have Been Writing, Protective Bruce Wayne
Word Count: 1,537 words
Summary: Bengal is a young child who likes talking with sign language more than words, and her mother never lets her go out in Gotham at night. So what happens when they're at the laundromat and Bengal gets lost in the ever-darkening streets of Gotham?
Author's Note: My friends and I have written a whole fanfic and this is part of my character's backstory. I had to share because it's just too cute.
âOh my sweet Tiiiiiigerlily!â Bengal heard the call of her mother through the garden, but she was remiss to leave. Plants were easier to interact with than people. Plants didnât force you to say anything you didnât want to. Plants didnât laugh at you just because you talked more with sign language than actual words.Â
Plants didnât say mean things to you just because you twitched sometimes when you were thinking really hard.
Mommy taught her about growing plants. Mommy helped her plant cucumbers that were flowered so pretty in the warm spring air. Mommy said most plants flower to show theyâre mature, and laughed when Bengal asked her why humans donât do that.
Now, Bengal toddled through their vast garden and tucked behind the vibrant leaves sprouting from a planter of potatoes. The scent of lavender wafted over and helped soothe her breathing. Maybe if I donât answer, sheâll give me a few more minutes. She thought, laying back to look up at the clouds.
Her mind drifted back to the tall lady in the grocery store, how sheâd frowned when looking at her mommy. âWhat does she have? Is she okay?â That had been enough to rattle Bengal from her daydreams and get her to stop twitching. Though Bengal was too young to understand exactly what was said, she gathered enough context to look down with bright red cheeks.
âWhat do you mean?â
âOhâŠIâm sorry. SheâŠwell, I thought she was having seizures.â Peeking out behind her hair, Bengal could see the lady looked sad, but her face was a little different. It had the look Bengal frequently gave her mother when she knew she said something she wasnât supposed to.
âShe has an overactive imagination. It makes her twitch sometimes.â Mommy had smiled, but her voice sounded angry, like when she talked about Daddy.Â
Bengal had never met her dad. Mommy told her that he left but it wasnât her faultâŠbut it still kind of felt like her fault. Sometimes when sheâd go outside, sheâd pray to God that He would bring him back. Sometimes she prayed that He would keep him far far away from them.
âTigerlily, there you are.â Mommyâs voice trickled in her ears and she was suddenly lifted in strong arms. Bengal watched her mother pick up a basket of carrots before readjusting her. âWhat am I going to do with you, my little tiger?â
Buy me more video games . Bengal giggled as she signed the words.
âYou donât feel like talking out loud to Mommy today?â
Bengal shook her head, feeling tired and worn out from the grocery store.
âThatâs okay, honey. I know we just went to the grocery store a few hours ago, but I need you to come with me to the laundromat, okay? Your babysitter canceled.â
No Rosie? Bengal frowned. Rosie was the best! Rosie read to her. As many books as she wanted! And sometimes sheâd play video games with her.
âNo, sweetie. Rosie has the flu. Now, come on. Letâs go get some clothes washed.â Mommy winked at her before passing through the threshold from the backyard and into the house. When Bengal was set down, she ran over to her favorite pink shoes. âGood girl. Itâs just a short walk. Letâs hurry so we get finished before dark.â
Mommy didnât let Bengal go anywhere in Gotham alone during the day. But even her mom wouldnât walk in Gotham at night. She said more bad people came out at night. More bad people who were not safe.
Bengal was scared of the dark, but she wasnât scared of the night. Because night time was when The Batman came out to save everyone in trouble.
. . . . .
Mommy started shaking her leg in the chair and glancing out the window whenever the sun went down. She started squeezing her sleeves when the shadows spread over the streets.
Bengal wondered if she had to go potty, but she didnât seem to be in a hurry. And whenever the laundry was done, her mom stopped moving quite as much. She pulled Bengal along with the fresh, clean clothes and out into the darkening city.
They made it to the crosswalk when Bengal saw someone with glowing lights on the street corner. She wasnât paying attention. She didnât mean to get separated from her mother, but suddenly she was alone in a big crowd where a bunch of cold eyes glanced at her and kept walking.
Her throat got tight as she started to sniffle. She knew she wasnât supposed to, but she started moving and trying to find a police officer. What did Mommy tell me? Iâm sposed to stay still but I donât see her! Where am I supposed to go? Do I just walk home? I just want Mommy⊠Â
She started running. She needed to find a safe spot. There were so many people. Too many people. Bengal didnât look at anybody. She found the nearest empty bench and hid beside it, starting to cry. Her body shook as she tried looking through teary eyes to find her mom. But everyone looked the same and she couldnât find her motherâs face in the crowded darkness.
Iâm never going to see my mommy again and then someone is going to hurt me or someone is going to hurt her andâ
âExcuse me, sweetheart, are you lost?â A kind voice startled her and she retreated further into the side of the bench. âHey, hey, hey, youâre okay, youâre okay. Iâm not going to hurt you.â
People scared Bengal so much. She couldnât find her voice as she looked up at the tall man. He seems nice though. He looks nice, too. Heâs got a pretty blue tie.
âHey, can you breathe with me, sweetie?â His voice softened as he bent down to Bengalâs level.
She nodded her head and followed his lead through some shuddering breaths. The world stopped spinning quite so much. Her shaky hands werenât quite so shaky anymore.Â
âThere you go, good job.â He encouraged, giving her the prettiest smile sheâd ever seen. âNow, do you need help getting home?â
Again, she nodded.
âOkay. Where do you live?â
Bengal wiped her eyes and started signing. 99 Oakland Drive.
Oh. Are words hard for you? Thatâs okay. I know ASL too. He signed back, making Bengal gape up at him. Follow me. Iâll keep you safe. He extended his hand but Bengal merely held up her arms and looked at him with a plea. The stranger hoisted her up in his arms and began carrying her across the dark streets of Gotham.
The darker the city got, the more Bengal flinched and startled at every sound she heard. Finally, the crash of a trash can lid made her speak.
âI-I d-donât likeâŠth-the dark.â She whispered.
âThe dark is scary for a lot of people.â The nice man said, patting her back. âItâs okay to be scared.â
âD-Do you thinkâŠTh-The BatmanâŠgets scared?â She swallowed, her little body twitching when she heard an angry dog barking down an alley.
He chuckled.
âI think The Batman gets scared more than people think he does. For sure.â
âWhatâŠâ This information was new for Bengal. If The Batman gets scared and still saves peopleâŠmaybe I can do stuff even though Iâm scared too. âWhat do you think he doesâŠwhen heâs scared?â
âHmm, thatâs a good question.â He said, looking both ways before crossing another street. Bengal knew this area well enough to know her house was getting closer. They were almost there. âI think The Batman faces his fears so he can help others. Because he knows that itâs okay to be scared so long as he doesnât let it get in the way of his life.â
Bengal opened her mouth to ask another question when she saw them. Red and blue lights outside Mommyâs house. And Mommy! She stood talking to two men in police clothes while the nice man held Bengal in the shadows.
âThatâs her. Thatâs my mommy!â She exclaimed happily, before suddenly being put down.
âThis is as far as I take you, okay? You go on ahead. Iâll watch you. But it might be a big fiasco if I take you over there. Iâm glad to have met you, little one.â He started pushing her toward the lamplight.
âButâŠyou helped me.â Bengal stepped back toward him, scared of making even that small trek in the darkness. âWhy canât you come with me?â
âYouâll understand when youâre older, if you remember this.â Another smile from him gave her courage. âBut donât forget to be brave, okay? You can do it. Now go on.â
Bengal took a few steps away from him, stopped, and then rushed back to crush the manâs legs in a tight, appreciative hug. She looked up at him and signed one phrase. Thank you.
Then she took off for her mother.
âMommy! Mommy!â She barreled into her legs and breathed in her scent and finally finally everything felt like it would be okay.Â
âOh, Bengal! This is her, officers. Oh, my darling!â Mommy was crying, and Mommy never cried. Bengal was sure sheâd explode with as tight as Mommy squeezed her!
But she didn't mind.
#Bruce Wayne#Batman#Gotham City#Original Child Character(s)#Original Female Character(s)#Gotham is Gotham#Child Reader is Just Doing Her Best#Canon Divergence#A Little Angst with a Happy Ending#Bruce Wayne is the Ray of Sunshine We Deserve#Good Parent Bruce Wayne#Bruce Helps a Child#Child Gets Lost#I Love Bruce Because He's a Sweetheart#Bruce Knows ASL#Quiet Child OC#I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping#Family Fluff#This is the Introduction to a Whole AU My Friends and I Have Been Writing#Protective Bruce Wayne#dc universe#DC Stands for Disregard Canon
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Big Year wrap up post / things that I'm thankful for
Every year is a year of ups and downs or at least that's pretty universal. I don't think anyone ever has a year or everything is completely good or completely bad.
The good was plentiful for me this year.
I remember back when I was in Corpus Christi and I had read the book The Secret and I started out making my list of what I wanted for my life.
The list went something like this #1. A teaching job.
#2. an actual house with a front and back door and a yard, #3 was $30,000 in the bank.
I don't know where I came up with that number it was just a number I thought would be a good financially stable number.
I have had a teaching job for the last 6 years.
I have had a house for the last 2 years.
And I'm still working on that number but at least I do have a savings account that I'm not constantly having to dip into. And this year I finally was gifted a washing machine by someone at work. I still don't know who did it but they were incredibly hind. It only works on one cycle but it works and that has saved us so much time and money. Being Mobility challenged it was horrible looking clothes to and from the laundromat. Plus trying to cough up the money each time we needed to do laundry was another problem. I am still in awe of the fact that if I need to do a small load of clothes I can just go and do them and be done with it. We have a clothesline in the backyard and honestly that is all we need.
Work has been a bit dicey this year but it is not because of the kids it is more because of the parents and the administration. And I don't really see that changing so I must figure out ways to deal with it.
The parents are getting younger and less educated and do not understand some of the things I say into in class. Which means I need to mask myself even tighter than ever.
That is one of the few things that really sucks about this year and the last couple of years as far as my autism.
At one point I had so many people on staff that I could absolutely be myself with and they were okay with it. One by one though those people left because this isn't the greatest school system to work for. The principals tend to back the parents and not the teachers and there is absolutely no discipline whatsoever in any of the schools.
The kids know this and the parents know this so especially if the parent is Rich or a part of the school system the kid gets to do whatever they want with no consequences.
And this is scared a lot of the yĂČd teachers away.
I am NOT young and I'm slightly disabled because of my vision and my lack of Mobility so I suck it up because I can't go anywhere else at this point.
I want to retire to another place but as far as a job this is really the only one I'm capable of doing.
I guess it's a part of being autistic that if you see something that's wrong you want to call it out. At least that is the way it is with me. And from that now you really can't do that without getting in trouble. Everyone knows what's wrong and no one wants to fix it. People just want to turn them line die. I made that mistake about three three years ago with my previous principal. When she said there was an open door policy I believed it like an idiot and or for the record if someone says there is an open door POLICY THERE IS NOT AND YOU WILL JEOPARDIZE YOUR JOB BY BELIEVING IT.
For speaking out about anything I thought was unfair, she got me alone and absolutely eviscerated me. She brought up all kinds of petty little things having to do with my work ethic that no one else would have ever called out, she called me unprofessional, she called me hard to work with, and she gave me the worst Job review I have had in 45 years of working.
To this day I have nightmares about that and her the same way I had nightmares of my abusive stepmother that I was subjected to for 7 years. Only the principal did that much emotional damage in 2 hours.
So yes having the masks so tightly at work does suck but it is a job and it is the first time in my life that I have not had to work multiple jobs in order to support myself.
And of course the credit for all of this goes to God because I could not have done any of this of my own free will. I am weak and I am scared and I am full of every Neurosis in the world so whatever strength that I have come to know throughout my life definitely was god-given. I utilized it and I made my own but it had to come from God first. And speaking of that
My 11th eye surgery was a success. I had a corneal transplant and it has been going wonderfully thank god. Right now I am just waiting for the surgeon to tell me I can go ahead and renew my prescription. He has been very picky and says that my eye would change so much throughout the year there was no use getting a new prescription because I would have to throw it out in 6 months anyway. But I would have been willing to do that if I could have just been able to see better with my classes. Right now aside from driving I don't even wear them because my eyes have changed so much and now I can't see anything with my glasses at all. Getting around town, and thank God this is an extremely small town, I feel like I do more from muscle memory anyway. I have no one to drive me so I kind of have to do this.
But thank God I can see!!!
Other than that hubby and I have been healthy all this year and thank God for that.
Of the bad things I have had to survive the big two that weigh on me the most is losing two people I loved very dearly. One I knew my entire life and she was like a second mom to me. I still dream about her constantly. She died at 8:00 if 93 and she had a wonderful life and was surrounded by children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren and we did get to talk on the phone right before she died and that was a blessing. Even knowing I couldn't see for crap I still drove 3 hours out and 3 hours back to her funeral and God bless me I made it only with God's care. It was scary going.
The other one is my friend Ben who took his own life a few months ago. It is so hard for me not to be mad at his ex-girlfriend because I believe her breaking up with him after 10 years directly led to his suicide. But we are not responsible for the actions of others. Many people reached out to ben, myself and a couple of teachers who worked with us that now have moved on reached out to him constantly. I thought at least he had talked to them they thought he had talked to me and he did not talk to any of us.
It wasn't out of the blue thing. He was always very depressed and very sensitive. And he would make posts on Facebook about being alone and not having friends and not having anyone that understood him. And with each of these posts I would reach out to him and tell him I loved him and I wanted to talk and I was always there and nine times out of 10 he would not reach back out to me. It had been 8 months since we had spoken or since he had taken me up on one of my offers to talk and at the time he killed himself. It was and still is very hard to deal with.
And honestly is far as bad things go, that was it. Yes a few parents made my work life miserable for a while. Yes I walk on eggshells at work now after getting written up twice for something no one in any other school district would have ever written me up for. But when I look back at the truly bad things that happened last year there's only those two.
I miss writing a lot. I would write huge fan fictions, essays and poetry. Sometimes I would write 8 to 10 hours a day in my spare time, when I had a day off or in between jobs. Now the only writing I do is on this site. All of my Muses have dried up. I don't have time to enjoy things like I used to. I don't have time to completely submers myself in whatever band or piece of media I have always been into. The most time I get is maybe 45 minutes for a documentary here or there. I always think when I have a vacation like Christmas break or spring break that I'm going to sit down pick up an old thick and either rewrite it or expand on it. I
And I never do. I don't even have the time at night to indulge in the Daydreams and fictional ideas that used to lead me into sleep. I am so exhausted now I am asleep almost as soon as my head hits the pillow. If I'm not asleep then I am awake watching a movie with no other thought in my head.
Thanks to and after school staff meeting where the art Department supplied us with supplies enough to make a Christmas painting, I have discovered I really enjoy painting. And I'm hoping maybe to do a little more of that this year or at least try it out.
If you took the time to read this, bless your heart. And I hope the year was kind to you and that next year will be even kinder.
Vaya con Dios!
#year end post#teaching#work#students#parents#autism#tw: suicide#tw: death#good times#bad times#Spotify
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2Ă2 - Children on the Streets 1
Author: Akira
Characters: Yuuta, Shinobu
Translator: Mika Enstars
"Actually, why do you continue being an idol if youâre so dissatisfied, Yuuta-kun?"
[Read on my blog for the best viewing experience with Oi~ssu âȘ]
Season: Spring
Location: Downtown
Two days later, on the third day of shooting 2Ă2 episode 5, noonâŠ
Shinobu: ⊠âŠ
Uu, uuu, uuuuâŠ
Yuuta: Shinobu-kun looks like a wandering zombie during an apocalypseâŠ
Shinobu: Itâs so hard~, usually⊠My standard of living has dropped to the lowest level possible.
Yuuta: W-well things are going surprisingly well, right? Better than we expected!
Itâs like riding a bike! Thankfully we lived in extreme poverty for the fourth episode, so we knew to find dollar stores and thrift shops to buy our essentialsâ
We then save money for that using our idol skills we honed at Yumenosaki and ES, a.k.a., performing on the street and asking money from those who pass by!
Since ES is nearby, there are often performers around town, which helps a ton. Passerbys are used to them, and typically give a bill or two.
Shinobu: Because ES promotes music, or rather, idol activities.
If this were the Special Music Zone, for example, that centers around âthatâ, we could have made money more efficiently, butâŠ
Yuuta: We really donât have either the money or energy to travel that far out⊠Weâve been doing a lot of street performances with the sun high in the sky, so Iâm seriously starting to hit my limit.
Shinobu: And I wonder if itâs even harder on me⊠Uu~, maybe itâs a genetic thing, but no matter how hard I train, I canât build up physical strength.
Yuuta: We both have our genetic disadvantages, donât we?
Shinobu: And to make things worse, our beds are atrocious, so we canât recover our lost energy at allâŠ
Yuuta: We were able to eventually save up enough money for a decent cardboard house, butâŠ
There was a horrible draft in the end, and the blanket from the thrift store wasnât enough to keep me warm.
Shinobu: Though if the temperature gets too low, weâve been going to a cheap public bath to wash up and sleep in the break room.
Yuuta: We get two birds with one stone with that. We used to use those places when we were kids, Iâm so glad those cheap bathhouses havenât gone out of business~!
This is a show about idols, after all, we have to keep reasonably clean.
Shinobu: So every day, we make sure to wash our clothes at a laundromat and our body at a public bathhouse or internet cafe shower room.
Itâs more than a matter of looking good, we also gotta keep clean so we donât get sick, usually.
Yuuta: Living in the streets seriously is so tough. Itâs just staying alive, but itâs so tough.
I seriously donât know how we did it back then.
Shinobu: Yeah⊠I can say this from my heart now that Iâve experienced the hardship myself, it truly is amazing. Itâs commendable.
At that time, you and Hinata-kun were just small children who still needed the protection of their parent.
Yuuta: And we ran away from that parent~. Didnât we just reap what we sowed in a way?
Shinobu: Seriously though, I donât know how you did it.
Yuuta: Aniki was strangely talented with these things, and I recall being able to live in this area rather comfortably.
But, back then too, Aniki was also just a small child, the same age as meâ
He mustâve been having a really hard time, I just didnât realize it⊠Iâm sure.
Shinobu: Fufu, Hinata-kunâs done a lot for you, hasnât he, Yuuta-kun.
Yuuta: Uu~⊠I didnât ask for him to, though! He did it all on his own, meaning it was all just for his ego.
Aniki must have just been happy because was able to do what he wanted to do.
Whenever I wanted to do something, he wouldnât let me. That is what was tough, you know!
So this time around, Iâm rather satisfied. Iâm able to do what I want, without anyone getting in my way or denying me.
Shinobu: But the burden of thatâs being pushed onto me.
Yuuta: What? You have complaints? You know, if you donât like it you can just quit, 2Ă2 is our show after allâMeaning you have nothing to do with it, Shinobu-kun.
Shinobu: Thatâs not an option⊠To abandon a job once undertaken goes against the code of a ninja.
Yuuta: Sounds inconvenient and a lot of work to me, but do what you want to do I guess, ninja.
Shinobu: Actually, why do you continue being an idol if youâre so dissatisfied, Yuuta-kun?
If you hate it so much, why donât you just quit?
Yuuta: ⊠âŠ
Shinobu: Ah⊠S-Sorry. I said a bit too much. Living marginally like this has put me on edge.
Yuuta: No, nevermind that. Look, over there.
Shinobu: Huh�
Hmm? Over there, could that beâ
Yuuta: âAniki!
That bastard Aniki~! I thought since we were having such a hard time, surely he must have been as well!
What is this? Why on earth are those guys looking so happy!?
[ â ]
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Second Chance Family
Second Chances (Part 6): Second Chance Family
Summary: Itâs movie night at the Moreno house - Elena POV
Pairing: Marcus Moreno x OFC!Elena
Rating: 18+ series, 13+ rated chapter
Warnings: Cuteness overload and contemplation over the future
Word Count: 1,317
Authorâs Note: I just really love Marcus and Missy and this family unit Iâve created in my head.
xxx
Series Masterlist
xxx
Friday nights had been movie night long before you met Marcus Moreno. Youâd started the tradition in college, not sure what else to do while you waited for your washer and dryer to clean the clothes youâd used during the week. Youâd been lucky to get an apartment that came with appliances and grateful you didnât need to waste hours in a laundromat. Back then youâd had one close friend and sometimes she would visit you to share your cheap microwave popcorn and humorously commentate on any movies youâd both seen before. It was the only real time youâd had together that wasnât spent at school or at the dance club she insisted on going to every Saturday night (even though that wasnât your thing â she thought it was the only good way to meet guys).
After college, after your friend moved away to the coast for a job, it was just you for a while, then it was just you and Ginger, and through all those years and changes Friday movie night persisted.
So it wasnât a big adjustment when you started getting serious with Marcus and began joining in on their Friday movie night tradition. There wasnât much of a difference except you were leaving your apartment to join them at their house and laundry was left for the next morning.
And after you accepted Marcusâ proposal and moved into his house? There was basically no difference at all besides his and Missyâs (and Gingerâs) consistent company. You still ate cheap popcorn and waited for machines to ding and listened to commentary every once in a while from the intelligent, young teenager that you shared a couch and a life with.
The day of your wedding had been the one exception, since youâd been forced to schedule it on a Friday or not get the venue you wanted (a tent in the city park put up for that exact purpose).
And then the next week you were right back at it. This time with a new last name and a promise that you were officially a member of a family youâd chosen. Not that you didnât love your parents and the dozen or so other blood related family you had, but there was something extra special about having chosen to be a part of one and them having chosen you.
The four of you had plopped down on the couch all together, Missy in the middle, Ginger on your lap and Marcus had gotten the old DVD player running as you and Missy immediately started chowing down on the popcorn (sometimes Marcus had to pop another bag in order to get more than a handful). The movies picked that night were Moana and Ghostbusters Afterlife. Youâd seen Moana with them on at least six different occasions since youâd met Marcus, but it was one of Missyâs favorite movies so you and Marcus always indulged her.
Sheâd been engaged in it from the start, commentary occasionally flowing from her lips (I love this part! This is my favorite song; the drums are cool. I love that rooster so much. For a chicken heâs got a lot of lives.). You donât mind cause itâs Missy and you love hearing her talk and be a happy careless kid. You knew she couldnât always be that way.
The Ghostbusters film however, was a bust with her, but she insisted you watch it anyway, knowing both you and Marcus wanted to see it. By then the popcorn bowl shared between the three of you was long empty and tossed aside so she sprawled out on the couch, her head on Marcusâ lap and her feet curled against your hip. The movie had only been running for about a half hour before she slipped into a peaceful sleep. The hand Marcus had curled over her waist didnât even twitch once during the rest of the movie. You noticed he was careful about any movement he made after, afraid to wake her up and ruin the moment.
After the movie ended Marcus gently scooped Missy up into his arms and carried her up the stairs to her bedroom without a word to you. You were compelled to follow, for no other reason than to just observe.
When he reached her bedroom he carefully deposited her onto the bed, throwing her favorite blanket over her to keep her warm through the night and giving her a feathery light kiss on the forehead.
All you could think about as you watched was how good of a father Marcus was, and you couldnât help but let that thought roll into one about having a baby with him.
As far as youâre concerned, Missy is also your child, in every way but blood, and that part wasnât important to you, youâd be satisfied with her if thatâs all fate had in store for you, but you couldnât help but want another during moments like this. To know what it was like to carry a child and raise them with Marcus from the beginning. To make him a father again and give Missy a little sibling to bond with. You had a feeling sheâd be a good big sister.
Youâd once discussed it with Marcus, briefly, and heâd told you that he wouldnât mind having another if thatâs what you would want, but you had been the unsure one at the time. Insecure, mostly. You hadnât interacted with babies much in your lifetime, and youâd secretly been afraid youâd fail as a mother.
But with Marcus at your side, how could you? Seeing the way he interacted with his (your) daughter, your insecurities melted away. You could do it, and if you faltered, youâd have him right there at your side to help. It wasnât like all the responsibility would fall into your hands â and that made it a lot less intimidating.
When Marcus was done tucking Missy in he joined you in the doorway and kissed your temple sweetly as he rubbed your upper back with one of his hands. âReady for bed?â he asked at a whisper.
You nodded and closely trailed him into your bedroom, all the way to the door of the bathroom. He had begun applying paste to his toothbrush when he noticed you lingering in the doorway.
He frowned. âIs something wrong?â
You shook your head and smiled at the concern written on his face. âNothingâs wrong. I just was thinking.â
âAbout what?â he inquired, standing taller, eyes on you.
âDo you remember when we talked about maybe having another child back in September?â (Had it already been eight months since then? Time really flew.)
âYeah.â You could tell Marcus wasnât sure how you were leaning but understood that youâd come to a decision if you were bringing it up then. He was waiting patiently with a trained face, not willing to give away any emotion.
You wouldâve been worried that maybe he wouldnât want to start over with another kid at his age, with Missy being a teenager, but you knew him well enough at that point that it wasnât a concern. You were certain of what kind of reaction youâd get.
It made telling him easy.
âIâve made up my mind,â you informed him slowly, wanting to tease it out, build up anticipation. You liked doing that sometimes.
âAnd?â he prompted anxiously. Â
âIâd like to have a baby with you Marcus,â you declared, grinning at him.
As expected, he lit right up and abandoned his toothbrush to embrace you. âAre you sure?â He pulled away to study the expression on your face and you nodded at him.
âIâm sure.â
He beamed at you and bent to kiss you on the lips. âIâm glad honey. Iâd love to share that experience with you.â
You flashed him an amused smile, one triggered by the word that popped into your head.
âDitto.â
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Genre:Â Fiction, Adult, Mystery
Rating:Â 3 out of 5
Content Warning:Â Misogyny, Torture, Sexual harassment, Murder off-page, Hit and Run
Summary: Fugitive Apprehension Agent Stephanie Plum has a big problem on her hands: Seven-year-old Annie Soder and her mother, Evelyn, have disappeared.
Evelyn's estranged husband, Steven, a shady owner of a seedy bar, is not at all happy. During the divorce proceedings, he and Evelyn signed a child custody bond, and Steven is demanding the money guaranteed by the bond to find Annie. The money was secured by a mortgage on Evelyn's grandmother's house, and the True Blue Bonds Bail Agency wants to take possession of the house.
Finding a kidnapped child is not an assignment for a bounty hunter. But Evelyn's grandmother lives next door to Stephanie's parents, and Stephanie's mother and grandmother are not about to see their neighbor lose her house because of abduction.
Even though Stephanie's plate is full with miscreants who missed their court dates, including old nemesis and violent drunk Andy Bender and an elusive little old lady accused of grand theft auto, she can't disappoint Grandma Mazur! So she follows the trail left by Annie and Evelyn-- and finds a lot more than she bargained for. Steven is somehow linked with a very scary Eddie Abruzzi. Trenton cop and on-again, off-again fiance Joe Morelli and Stephanie's mentor and tormentor, Ranger, warn Stephanie about Abruzzi, but it's Abruzzi's eyes and mannerisms that frighten Stephanie the most. Stephanie needs Ranger's savvy and expertise, and she's willing to accept his help to find Annie even though it might mean becoming too involved with Ranger.
Stephanie, Ranger, Lula (who's not going to miss riding with Ranger), and Evelyn's lawyer/laundromat manager set out to find Annie. The search turns out to be a race among Stephanie's posse, the True Blue Bonds' agent, a Rangerette known as Jeanne Ellen Burrows, and the Abruzzi crew. Not to mention the fact that there's a killer rabbit on the loose!
Strap on your helmet and get ready for the ride of your life. Hard Eight. The world of Plum has never been wilder.
*Opinions*
I am slowly making my way through the Stephanie Plum books and Hard Eight was the next one on the list. Now, I had read this novel before, but I remembered very little about it and after I finished it, I can see why. There was a lot that I didnât like about this book and not enough that I enjoyed to make this a memorable reading experience. In a series that is this long, they arenât all going to be winners and this was not a winner for me.Â
Hard Eight follows Stephanie Plum as she continues to make rent by bringing in FTAs as a bounty hunter for her cousin Vinnie. Stephanie herself says that she is more lucky than good at her job, but she is not having a lot of luck this week. On top of all that, her parentsâ next-door neighbor is asking for Stephanie to look for her daughter, Evelyn, and her granddaughter, Annie. What seems like a simple request quickly turns complicated and Stephanie is put in the path of Eddie Abruzzi, a powerful and unhinged man. As the search for Evelyn turns deadly, Stephanie needs to turn to her fellow bounty hunter Ranger for assistance, even with the sexual tension between them. Soon, Stephanie is being cashed by a man in a rabbit suit and needs to find Evelyn before she dies in Abruzziâs twisted war games.Â
This novel delves further into dark territory than some of the novels before this one. It always surprises me how dark the first novel was when I reread it and there were some very dark parts of this novel. Evanovich does attempt to lighten up these areas with humor, like Grandma Mazur with the flashing rabbit and her mother joking after hitting the rabbit with the car. Still, a lot in this novel can leave the reader feeling uncomfortable. It is not material that bothered me, but for readers who are coming to this novel for humor, it might be jarring and uncomfortable.Â
The thing that really annoyed me about this novel was the way that the two interesting parts of this novel were completely glossed over in a sentence or a paragraph. The one that really gets me is that Ranger and Stephanie FINALLY have sex after books' worth of tension, and it is glassed over in a paragraph. Now I am not one of those âis there spiceâ readers, but if you are going to build up a sexual encounter for books, I want at least a page before you cut to black. Especially when you are telling me that this man is so good in bed that he might ruin a woman for all other men. I need some details and I know Evaonvich can write a sex scene because she did so for Morelli a couple of books ago. Then, when this same man, KILLS SOMEONE FOR HER, it is discussed in a single sentence and then Stephanie goes to have sex with Morelli. I justâŠthere was so much time in this novel spent with Stephanie spinning her wheels or straight-up failing, I would have liked that to be cut down to dig into the juicy stuff.Â
The pacing of this novel was off and the storyline was not one that really interested me. Even the climax (literally) was so boring that I forgot it even happened this early in the series. It wasnât that I didnât enjoy myself, but there are definitely better books in the series. This is a 3-star read.Â
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[Poor Chronicles Pt. 16]
I have some unfortunate newsâŠI have decided to stop smoking until I move. One of my enemies has pissed me off and this should be enough to demonstrate my newfound âhatredâ for him (He hates me, I think heâs a bitch). I was looking forward to smoking this upcoming week because I am nearly caught up on NEXT monthâs monthly expenses, but others love to see me angry. I donât care. They are all fat and will die broke and mad.
Also unfortunate news, there is still no Wi-Fi. Again, not asking why, just another one of those months. I am considering going to Starbucks to post this. The TV signal came back post-post. No more silent noodle time.
I believe I will need an entire block for my home. Whose block is getting blown down? I donât know.
I was walking in my old neighborhood the other night (decided not to switch laundromats), I cursed my first baby momma for being so hard to find. Told her she was âmaking me crazyâ and that I would âshoot herâ (I donât own a gun and guns are for pussies, as it is a white manâs weapon). I, right at that moment, came to the conclusion that she was a doctor at the nearby hospital, not in town, but still nearby. Why wouldnât she be? Smartest man, smart bitch. Her parents are likely poor and this will cause me to hide my intelligence as poor people tend to flock towards the intelligent as the richer migrate towards the less rich, more knowledgeable, but not very intelligent, rich individuals. They will hate me for not being compatible with their daughter since I am a dropout, and later for hiding my intelligence. I donât give a fuck. Her ass is fat. I will be punishing those cheeks like SHE got expelled from school.
I have decided to nickname my first baby momma, who I decided would be her AFTER (the nickname was though up), âBadââŠbecause thatâs exactly what she will be.
Something tells me one of my other baby mommas will be a tattoo artist. I thought âThatâs ridiculous! All of them? Conveniently careers I need and love?â. I said Iâd stab my tattoo artist in the eye with the needle if he ruined my perfect body from an unexpected sneeze or shiver. Worry gone. Will be getting a blowjob at halftime for the tattoo instead.
I am also getting that one of my white baby mommas will not be blonde as I thought. I donât know if sheâll be the first white baby momma (but likely will be), but she will be one of them. I almost wanted to rule out blondes totally. And did!⊠for a day, but realized one is unfortunately blonde (One of the only ones I know of currently). I am getting that she is a redhead. Iâve often said that they are the âblack people of white peopleâ because of how different they are and how they stick out. Iâve decided that I will nickname her âThumpazâ, because she will have ass cheeks that resemble bongos because of how big and round they are.
Speaking of redheads, thereâs this one (or at least I think she is one) that is becoming a regular at my job. I think, she thinks Iâm cute. She was excited to see me. It was like her second or third time in. I thought, âWhat would one (or a few) more girl(s) hurt?â*,but then I was like, âMaybe in my old lifeâŠbut what would my kids think if I was still fucking strange women, when their moms look like Trillions? Right. That was me before, not now.â. She was cute though.
Also there was this like 40 to 50+ year old woman who came in. She had the prettiest smile. Bitch was CAKED UP! Being sexually attracted to an older woman was wild. Not too wild, but like be serious*.
I have decided to move back to my old neighborhood, into my old apartment, from my childhood (infantry). I donât know how I will get there, but that is where I hope to be. This may take years (as I imagine).
I feel as though I will at some point be transferred to the store closer to my house. I am not sure why or when, but I feel that will happen. I donât think they will close this one, (really want my son to work at this one, some day) but I think I will be transferred at some point. I want the one Iâm at to cater my first born sonâs birthday party. I wonât be picking it up. I want a close friend of mine to be picking it up in his Tesla. I donât agree with pollution, I donât drive anymore and donât need to be seen there, as I will likely not be working there anymore by then.
Lastly, I know this isnât Mind Pt. 4, but the blonde from â2 Broke Girlsâ and âThe Neighborhoodâ is Beth Behrs
and I would like to add âLeah Reminiâ from âSaved By The Bell (Season 3)â and â*The King of Queensâ to my list of âElite White WomenââŠLOVE HER! She is so hot!
- MH (2023)
EDIT: I walked past a Chicago Police Department truck on my way here. I looked in the car as I walked past. He said, âHowâs it going?â. I pretended I didnât hear anything because I looked away so fast. Fuck them.
I believe the Eagles will be in the Super Bowl (again) versus the Chiefs (again)âŠand win this time. They are unstoppable. I feel the Chiefs, Ravens, Dolphins and Browns will be in the playoff race. Browns are iffy. Ravens just took a tough loss, but I would love *to see Lamar pull off a Super Bowl bid. Dolphins literally just put up 70 pts. Unreal. Patrick Mahomes will beâŠMahomesân, per usual. The Eagles canât be stopped. They play chess not checkers. Havenât caught any NCAA games yet, sadly.
(2nd) EDITS & * - [12/26/2023 - 7:55PM]
#personal#poor chronicles#poor#poverty#life#lesson#life lesson#life lessons#guidance#struggle#chicago#2023#LilMark#PUNKAssMark#afr0-thunder
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"maybe even a big favor," nate responded, placing his sketchbook at the edge of the bench and placing his pencil on top. he had needed time outside even more than he had thought in the first place. now he was inspired to get some secondary feedback on a project he'd kept close to his chest the whole time he'd been working on it. a stranger was better to ask questions of than a close confidant. even if he was given a scathing review of his design and plot, then he could still walk away with a relationship UNSCATHED and his heart unburdened. "really, it sounds sad?" nate hadn't thought about that aspect of the plot. "i was thinking that he could use the power as a sort of jumping off point," he talked himself through his original thought process, hopeful that the other man would have more feedback to give. "you have all these problems you can't solve, right? so, what can you do? just stop listening? sure. that would be the easiest way out of it. give up? like you said, sad, but also another way out. or, what if you could find a way through?" nate lifted his sketch book back up, flipping to a page where he had drawn a quick storyboard. he turned the page toward the stranger so that he could see. here problematic, the superhero and main character, was covering his ears to all the problems he heard. suddenly, there's one voice that stands out among the rest: his love interest. this is the first problem that he feels drawn to, and he runs all the way to where she is to find her in a horrible spot. she's being mugged and the culprit has a knife raised to her. instead of turning and running away, problematic searches his environment for any kind of tool he can use to solve the problem. he eventually settles on a tree branch which he uses to knock out the perpetrator so he can take back his love interest's bag and run out of the park with her. "see, i was thinking that he could develop an interest in helping those with problems, or outsourcing to those who can help with the problem." after going through his little rant, nate felt red staining his cheeks. he was used to rambling about the things he loved, but it felt weird when he was rambling about his own comic. "those are just some ideas, though," he shook his head, placing his sketchbook back down.
he had gotten used to new beginnings ever since he moved out of his parents' house. it seemed like he could never get a break from them, so he might as well embrace them. "sure, sometimes its frustrating," nate agreed, "but, other times it can be super rewarding. like, take for example my move to roswell. did i give up my entire career? yes. but, now i have a tiny bit more time for the things i actually love - like my art." roswell was definitely smaller than reno or albuquerque, but nate felt like the pace was definitely not as slow as bunkerville, nevada, where his parents had taken him a couple of times. "you should get used to it soon enough. it's become like breathing to me," to illustrate his point further, he took in a breath of fresh air. nate couldn't help but laugh when patrick brought up doing art professionally. "me? a professional? yeah, haha, good one," he even slapped his knee a little bit. "i work at the lunar laundromat, you ever heard of it? i also do some appliance repair on the side, but that's neither here nor there. it's what i did professionally before moving to roswell."
Patrick silently cursed himself for not having been more alert. He knew it was just one of these days and sometimes, things like an easy mishap or a little accident happened but his perfectionism had never let him lay this to rest - he was fully aware that this moment would stick with him for the next few days at least and that thought alone would be enough to put him in a miserable mood. His brows raised in surprise at the other's reaction though and he pressed his lips together as he thought of something to say. He wasn't talented when it came to any kind of art form. He could appreciate it, liked to go to museums to look at pretty things or even pieces he'd never quite grasp but that was okay, he was still figuring out what he was good at aside of his people pleasing tendencies and taking care of animals. "So what you're saying is that I did you small favor?" He attempted to joke, a hand extending to rub behind Meadow's ears, a moment to ground himself and the dog after the small outburst. Letting the premise sink in for a moment, Patrick's brows furrowed slightly. "That...does sound quite sad, doesn't it? Like it'd more of a curse than a superpower?" He offered carefully, not wanting to cause offense on top of the disturbance just a few minutes ago in case that this wasn't what he was going for. "It sounds interesting, there's no question about it but if I had that power, I'd probably never leave the house again," he told him genuinely, an almost apologetic expression settling on his face.
Chuckling, Patrick nodded. "I guess there's some peace in that. New beginnings are never a bad idea," he told him, his shoulders slumping a little. "But I imagine it gets a little frustrating, too." His glance followed the other's and a small smile returned. "That's a great outlook to have, though. I honestly didn't look at it like that but I guess I'm still getting used to living in a small town where everything seems a bit slower and less hectic," he added, looking around for a moment before focusing back on the other man. "So I take you're doing this professionally? Art, I mean?"
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This is a bit TMI so I thought Iâd share with everybody but in February of 2019 I went on the worst second date Iâd ever been on, this guy takes me to a bar in bushwick at 1 pm on a Thursday afternoon (despite me telling him I donât drink) so he can do a beer tasting and I sat next to him glancing around this completely empty room nursing an apple cider I did not ask for while he keeps taking about beer which would have been interesting if he hadnât kept asking me questions I couldnât answer on what drink flavor profile I liked despite me repeatedly mentioning Iâd never had beer before and did not want to try it anytime soon so he inevitably shifted toward talking about this app that tracks all the different beers heâs had before we left to get mediocre overpriced pizza at a place he wanted to go to nearby and I was already a bit annoyed at him because earlier that day at my apartment he had stained my mattress with his cum while I had him hog tied (I was in my Dom Top Era, which is no longer active RIP đȘŠ) on my bed and he just kept humping his cum into my sheets which tbh would have been very hot had I not just bought those sheets or had put down a towel before hand and I would have just ended the date after that but he had driven from Jersey so I felt obligated to spend time with him and I was thinking about how Iâd have to go do laundry at the laundromat now while we ate the overpriced but below average pizza before we finally did something I wanted to do and went to a Dutch colonial house from the 1600s but after we paid he made a scene because the poor colonial woman gave him the wrong change and I just pretend I was very very interested in the ceramic plate display on the other side of this incredibly small one room building before he finished and i dragged us into the basement so I wouldnât have to deal with the second hand embarrassment any longer then necessary (I bonked my head on the low wood ceiling though) and when we went to the attic we were alone with the sad dutch wooden doll form the childrenâs show and then he dropped me off at home and I proceeded not to think of him again until that November when he texted me that heâd moved to Brooklyn and wanted to hook up so the Monday before thanksgiving I went over to his place and I only really did that because he was absolutely obsessed with me and thought I was the hottest guy ever and my self esteem needed the boost but a couple of days later I went out to see my parents on Long Island and discovered in the shower that he had given me đŠcrabsđŠ and I spent the next hour in the bathroom silently crying while hacking away at my pubes with my 9yrd old brothers dull childrenâs safety scissors and wondering how my life could possibly get any worse and then thanksgiving morning I have to tell my mom to drive me to cvs so I can get lice killer (but I donât tell her that part) and she doesnât want to go and Iâm not about to ask my step dad so I have to pull her aside and tell her I think I have an STD and we stand in the foyer in front of her framed wooden cross in mutual humiliation until she tells me to just wait in the car and we never talked about it again.
Anyway I only thought of this because my mom asked if I wanted crab legs for my birthday next week and I had to tell her no :( đŠđŠđŠ
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đŻđđđ đđđđđđđ & đđïżœïżœïżœïżœđđđđđđđ// đ đ”đđđ đ”đđđđđđđ đđđđ đđđđđ
Listen, bitch, is it fucking bad that I am addicted to 'Daddy Issues by the neighbourhood suddenly got a whole ass fanfic idea on my mind, so here fucking I am, thank you so much for the likes in my other disgusting fanfics and if you would like to share this one with your friend I would be happy since my mother told me if you have more than 55 likes on the next, I'll buy you a BTS t-shirt, I'm NOT FORCING YOU GUYS LOL, thank you and enjoy! oh, I'm planning on writing a Levi book on Wattpad tell me your opinion @meryamchaline45
Based on a song called: Daddy Issues
Warning: Blood, smoking, sexual harassment, daddy issues, mention of death, slight smut, harassment, Thief!Reader, Skategirl!Reader, abuse, abusive parents, parents cheating, ANGST, swearing!!
abusive parents, parents cheating, ANGST!!
(IF YOU DON'T LIKE THIS TYPE OF STUFF, DON'T READ!! don't report this please you have been warned)
Munching the food quietly she thought of nothing but how Seoul looked beautiful at night, a small scoff escaped her lips as she paid for the delicious food, looking at her wallet sighing, no money left. Taking her skateboard she stole a cap and a mask on her way out her E/C eyes immediately wide at the sound of the cashier yelling at her with a bat in his hand about to catch, slamming the door open she ran down the stairs not looking back, the cold breeze hitting her face as she ran grabbing her skateboard she skated between the cars so the man wouldn't catch her.
Her father grabbed her harshly by the hair followed by her skateboard and bag in the other hand, throwing her out of the house in the middle of the streets, every neighbor not even daring to welcome her even though they could see the pain and fear in her E/C eyes, but worst of all they still dared to watch and film her out of the window, I know it must be rough? damn, right it is.
Jungkook was hanging out with his group as usual and it seems like they got out of the café, but stopped brutally upon noticing cops chasing a H/C haired girl and grabbed her, slamming her face harshly against the car in front of them, a wince left the girls lips as she raised her hand in the air as she yelled out some words "it's a water bottle, please !" but the cops didn't seem to care since they cuffed her and decided to take her with them, as they turned around the girl cold eyes met Jungkook's dark brown ones, and that was his opportunity to study her face, she had beautiful H/C hair which was pretty messy, S/C skin, and had blood running down her nose and a cut on the corner of her soft lips, and it seems like she got into a fight for what? a bottle of water.
Watching the scene happening in front of them he stared as one of the cops broke her skateboard in half earning a bloody scream from her. "NO! how dare you!" she yelled with rage in her eyes as she was about to attack the police officer and punch the hell out of him but couldn't since the handcuffs stopped her from doing so but still the girl fell on her knees trying so hard to grab hold of the broken skateboard.
Sitting in front of the police officer she stared into nothing but emptiness; blinking ever so slightly her throat dry and didn't even dare to ask for water, "can I leave?" she asked her voice cracking as she sat on the chair, wanting to just kill herself. Grabbing her bag, phone, and broken skateboard she walked out of the police station to the place where she usually slept, the park.
Surprisingly she got a job the next day, and that is selling some street food with an old woman, the job got pretty handy, well, at least she would have 10$ to eat something and have a single water bottle for the day and not die from hunger, packing some dumplings in the small box she grabbed one of the bags signaling to the women "I'll go take these and will be right back Ajumma?" a small smile was on her lips as she walked away holding the hot food in her hand, the aged women seemed to be caring for her and would always give her some money even though she was poor and more broke than Y/N was, but still considered her as her daughter.
Knocking at one of the doors, she could hear the sound of music blasting and laughter, smiling at the memory of her being the best dancer back at school she opened the door peaking inside, the sight of a group of boys she recognized when getting arrested she handed the pink-haired boy the bag, "Jimin-ah~ you pay this time!" said a brown-haired boy behind him with a boxy smile, Jimin slightly rolled his eyes before smiling brightly at the girl taking his wallet out, a Gucci wallet which looked expensive, not like she wanted to steal it but these boys must be rich.
Bowing one last time, she walked away making sure to thank them and have a good day, "Ajumma, no I can't take them anymore what about you, you need your medicine so keep them besides I'll be okay for one day?" she said pushing them gently with a small smile, nodded Ajumma defeated but still thanked the girl a 100 times. "it was nice working with you, Ajumma, but I think I should go to either Busan or Daegu, I can't stay here anymore or dad will find me and- you know? so I'm gonna need you to go right now to the pharmacy and buy that medicine, we worked so hard for that now go!" she said pushing her gently toward the pharmacy with a small smile, pulling her into one last hug she kissed her forehead before walking away, waving slightly one last time before continuing her 'travel' in search of some way to escape Seoul before her father takes her back once again.
Sitting beside the boy she took his cigarette from his hand throwing it on the ocean in front of her, as he was about to grab another one she threw the box on the water, "so, do you want me to teach you that this mother fucker is a killer?" she said chuckling slightly at how he hated her already for throwing his precious addiction, "anyways, I need your help?" she said out of the blue, Jungkook raised his eyebrow waiting for her to continue her words "we all know you're rich as fuck, and I need you to buy me tickets to Daegu?" listening slightly to her words he took a picture of the couple kissing inside a laundromat with his camera, nodding slowly she almost squealed but stopped upon hearing his next words "in one condition?" "and that is ?" "I'll help you sneak inside my ex-house and go inside her room, to the drawer and there will be my clothes" "fine, when?" she said agreeing with his plan.
Standing in front of his ex house, she nodded at him before starting to climb the windows and could hear the sound of him talking to that girl more like flirting, looking at the window she could see them making out on the couch she had, opening the room window she did as told opening the drawer and grabbing all his stuff, a ripped book, AirPods, music DVDs and laptop looking at the polaroid with Jungkook smiling she stuffed it inside her pocket before looking at the room one last time.
Walking down the empty road beside Jungkook she handed him her bag full of his stuff, "you give it back tomorrow, you know where to find me? stay cool." she said smiling while flicking him off, the maknae staring at the girl with a small smile, this was her way on how to say goodbye or goodnight, the boy slowly waved back taking his keys from his pocket, opening the door of the black mansion greeting his mother on the way who seemed to smile sheepishly at him "who's the girl?" "mom I just met her" Jungkook looked so done as he stared at his mother dumbfounded
Opening the wagon door she ruffled her H/C hair after doing her routine, jumping down the wagon, she closed the door making sure to lock it with padlock, walking down the road she hid behind the wall watching as the man turned around running she grabbed a croissant, hiding it inside her jacket, thank god, he didn't notice and no one seemed to be out yet this neighborhood was always empty. the girl didn't have anything to think of but only the fact that this month was rough, she would eat once a day or not for a week, the asshole of the policeman broke her skateboard her mother got her before passing away and now she's a very famous thief in Seoul, what a beautiful life?
Nah, she always thought of giving up and standing at the edge of one of these buildings surrounding her, letting her body fall and join her mother. but couldn't, she didn't want to die and also promised her mother. Cursing under her breath Y/N limped to the front door of the beautiful black mansion, the door was suddenly slammed open and a woman stood there with wide eyes full of worry, glancing at the H/C haired leg Jungkook's mother immediately pulled her in sitting the girl down, the girl on the other side was shocked 'is this the wrong house? no, I remember JK saying this is his house' she thought confused but could see him coming out of a room holding a box, the boy slowly sat in front of her and started treating her wound out of as she sat there defeated and stared at him, his black curly hair looked so soft and his perfume was just UGH ravishing.
The food in front of her immediately got her attention as she started eating fastly, Jungkook mom laughing slightly at the girl "how many days didn't you eat something delicious?" "2 months, but don't worry- I only ate ramen 2 days ago!" she said munching slightly, Jungkook could see how her E/C eyes showed hope and slight happiness whenever she's eating, the girl was shining slightly than the last time he saw her, she was about to attack a police officer for breaking her skateboard and next was her handing a bag of dumpling to Jimin.
Sitting in front of the pool they had, she slowly took Jungkook's lighter from her pocket she found back in his ex house, playing with it she wrapped his sweater around her waist to great some heat, it was freezing but she needed to clear her mind a little bit, she was thankful of them, they gave her food, treated her wounds, gave her warm comfy clothes and welcomed her to stay with them...
And how much the girl wanted to kiss their hands for that, they made her feel safe after 8 years of the trauma and problematic life she finally felt home. The sound of someone walking behind made her stop from playing with the fire, wiping her head behind she smiled slightly at Jungkook who held a blanket sitting beside her putting the cover around both their bodies suggesting for her to get closer and not be afraid.
The handsome boy slowly handed her the phone back, it was midnight, thanking him she opened her phone, 1 notification, that's odd. Frowning she looked at the boy asking whenever to do it or not, nodding at her she tapped on the notification, her dad.
-------------------------------- đŒđšđšđđ€đĄđ đ-------------------------------
Happy birthday Darling, you turned 19, don't worry you're still my little girl right?
Fuck you.
Dad.
Seen 00:00
Just before he could even answer her text, she blocked him and deleted his number feeling calm and free, clenching the blanket around her hand she looked away trying not to let her tears fall, not wanting to show her weak side in front of Jungkook who seemed to know the situation and reason why she was cold and wants to run away. His anger was boiling, how dare a dad do this to his daughter? tomorrow was his final day alive he swore to make him pay for what he has done to his daughter. "it's your birthday?" he asked waiting for her to answer the question or at least look at him, 'why am I feeling empty when she's like that?' he thought nudging her shoulder, nodding she looked at him straight in the eyes tears covered her orbs as she stared at him deeply, her walls breaking down as she finally let them fall after staying strong for years.
ìŽìëšììŒ íë€."~Namjoon BTS (ë°©íìë
ëš) íìì°í
Jungkook stared at her with guilt in his eyes pulling her into his embrace the girl cried quietly in his chest letting it all out. Not even noticing she fell asleep in his arms.
Holding the notebook in her hand, she knocked on the door of his room, hearing a groan behind the door she opened it looking at Jungkook who was fixing his hair, giving him a poker face she closed the door behind looking around his room, "shit, this place is fire" "I know right?!" he said on the other side trying to tie his hair into a ponytail, chuckling slightly she walked toward him standing on her tiptoe, "give it to me" doing as told he handed her the tie, her fingers slowly trailed down his hair sending a shiver down his spine at how cold her hands are, but a small smirk raised on the corner of his lips as his playboy self started showing Jungkook suddenly turned around before she could even finish his hair, landing on top of her his leg between hers as their faces were inches away from each other, his bunny smile on his face as he innocently grinned at her as if nothing happened.
Her eyes were dull and numb, but they lit upon seeing his beautiful smile
Having an amazing plan, she wrapped her arms around his neck pulling him closer as she leaned in, her nose bumping his, with Jungkook staring at her parted lips not pulling away and liking the way how she pulled him closer, his lips so soft that she wanted to kiss them so badly but couldn't, twirling him around it was now her turn to smirk, she was on top of him grinning innocently while ruffling his black hair
"come on, time for dinner"
Walking down the streets of Seoul while listening to some music, she slowly walked into one of the cafes that lined up the street of Seoul. Pushing the door open the little bell at the door jingled when she walked in and the scent of coffee hit her like a truck, this café wasn't crowded and it was one of her favorites, for these past days both the teenagers got closer day by day and still couldn't open up to him yet, it was so hard. and it would be a terrible lie if she doesn't catch feelings for him. "hello, can I get an iced-americano please?" she said looking at the cashier taking out the money from her pocket she slammed it on the counter before making her way toward one of the tables, playing with the flannel shirt she burrowed from Jungkook the girl waited for her order, phone ringing she slowly answered the call
"Hello? are you fucking kidding me what has he done?!" yelled the girl hanging up, slamming the door open the girl ran down the streets
Jungkook on the other side drove in rage toward where her 'father' worked, sitting down on one of the chairs his feet tapping on the ground nervously as he glared at the ground, a man came toward him with a smirk on his face, Breathless with anger, he stood up and immediately punched the man square in the jaw he didn't care about anything at the
moment but to just make him pay for what he did to his daughter.
Dashing down the streets pushing past the people, everyone at first thought that flash just passed by them while it was just a girl running with panic in her eyes, walking inside the police station the H/C haired girl immediately pulling the boy into a hug, tears covering her E/C eyes, as she pushed the strand of hair from his face staring lovingly at him she cupped his cheek looking for any injury. Sighing she glared sharply at her father "you deserved it" she said spitting in his face one last time before walking out of the police station asking Jungkook if he was okay, driving back home in silence the girl thought 'why did he do that?'
Sitting him down she grabbed the first aid kit and some alcohol, it was now her turn to help him, "this will hurt, so grab my hand" sitting down in front of him Y/N gently pressed the cotton on the huge bruise he had in his hand not caring the fact he's hurting her hand due to the pain he felt, "I'm so sorry" she said out of nowhere not even glancing at him, wrapping the bandage around his bruised hand she tried to ignore how bad she wanted to hug him by trying to get up but Jungkook already beat her to it, with one simple fucking move. Cupping her cheek the boy pulled her back down and made her face him stopping her from moving, his hand pressing on her cheeks as his soft fingers caressed her ear sending a shiver down her spine, her legs suddenly became weak as she stared back into his doe eyes, his gorgeous orbs shining under the moonlight like a diamond in the center of a museum was everything for her
His Dior Sauvage perfume only made it worse, it was her favorite scent aside from coffee, she felt giddy and happy whenever she sees him and just want to squeeze him tight and never let go. but now it was her whole body burning like fire
"Y/N please, tell me what is going on and I promise I'll help you with anything?" he said looking at her E/C eyes back and forth still holding her cheek butterflies dancing on her stomach as she stayed silent not wanting to ruin this moment with her fucked up past, she was about to pull him into a kiss, the same feeling kicked in, she just wanted to feel his lips on hers for few seconds was is a hard thing to ask? the sound of the door slamming open made them snap out of their position and fall on the ground.
"dude..."
There stood the boys staring at them awkwardly, coughing she got up wiping her clothes from any dust making her way to her room "wait, Y/N you promised me!" "I'm sorry Tae but I don't feel like playing..." "no, you're coming now sit down" rolling her eyes annoyingly she walked back down and sat on the ground waiting for the boys to follow her movement. Watching as the bottle spun in front of her, the girl breathing hitched upon seeing the green bottle landing on her, slightly panicking she shot a look that could make the bravest of warriors scream in terror, but Tae who didn't seem to care, challenged her "Truth or dare?" "Truth" "what were you both doing when we came in?" "talking duh." her simple sarcastic answer only annoyed Tae more than he was and that made her smirk proudly 'i'm not falling for one of those plans, Taehyung' she thought raising an eyebrow at the boy who smirked back at her "then why the sexual tension, and you about to kiss him?" grin fading and eyebrow falling she stared coldly at the boy his blood running cold at the look the girl just sent him "i-i take that back" stuttered the boy still feeling her staring straight into his soul, the game continued but surprisingly it didn't land on her anymore.
Sitting on her bed, she pushed the blanket away from her cold body, opening the door slightly trying not to make a noise as possible, making sure to close it behind her before she made her way toward Jungkook's room knocking 3 times. Jungkook jolted up from his bed at the thought of Y/N and immediately ran to open the door, he was right, there she was standing slightly shivering from the cold but before he could even protest to give her something to warm up or say anything, she already pulled him toward the Kitchen, opening the fridge she slowly grabbed hold of ice cream box and two spoons, sitting beside him she stared at the clock ticking in front of her "wanna know why I always throw your cigarettes whenever I see you holding one?" she said glancing at the boy who already stared at her continuing her words "because my mother was so addicted to this fucker, sure, it revealed her stress but it also made her sick, we would always go to the rooftop and talk about anything that comes to our mind, that was until he decided to cheat on her out of nowhere and started going to clubs, she didn't find out by herself, but I did, I told her in our usual ted talk we had at night while watching the stars flicker, surprisingly my mom didn't seem to care since she already noticed his sudden behavior, so being a good mother she wanted divorce and when she told him I told her about the whole thing, of me coming home from school and seeing a bitch on top off him, he started doing it to her. Days passed and mom got weaker day by day and everything was becoming worse as she started smoking 2 packs of cigarettes a day, and I don't want to lose you too after losing my own mother" she said scoffing a little bit at the memory flashing on her mind tears covering her E/C eyes.
Jungkook on the other side listened carefully and couldn't help but to intertwine his fingers with hers, and could feel her tensed up and her hand becoming warmer and not the usual coldness, looking at her he smiled happily at the sight of her looking at the moon through the balcony with a small blush on her cheek, as he was about to pull away afraid of hurting her she grabbed his hand back planting a gentle kiss on his veiny fingers and on top of the smiley face tattoo he had.
What are they?
A couple, close friends, just friends (pack it up, Adrien). She didn't understand why is the constant hand grabbing? cupping cheeks, the almost kiss in his room, He was so kind towards her and being his usual, bad boy self in front of the others?
Why would he like her anyway? she always thought of that which only broke her more remembering the fact she's going to run away and live in Busan and not stay with him anymore, her life was so confusing, should she stay with him or move away?
"Wanna know something?" asked the boy glancing at the girl who nodded at his question "you're living with me from now on, and this is the reason why," he said pulling her toward him by the hand, picking her up easily placing her in front of him and on top of the counter, with her staring directly into his eyes and his hand on both her side, the boy gently cupped her cheek. Heat rose from Y/N's stomach to her chest and behind her back. Jungkook's lips were getting closer and her heart decided to skip a beat, she could tell he heard it since the same bad-boy smirk came back on the corner of his lips. parting her lips she felt him washing over like a wave of warmth, curling her toes, unfurling all her senses as the taste of him nearly silenced all thoughts. The boys silently watched the scene happening in front of them Jimin and Taehyung taking pictures on the other side
the feel of his frame leaning on hers as his arms wrapped around her felt nearly forbidden. He pulled her in, claiming her mouth again, hungry and intense, until her knees gave in. Sure, she was a famous thief but in moments like these she's so nervous, he was her first kiss, what if it's bad?!. Her thoughts were stopped dead when his lips were gently pressed against hers, not knowing what to do she scooted closer toward him, wrapping her arms around his neck following the steps she remembered seeing in kdramas, he puts his hand on the back of her head and reassuringly strokes her H/C hair.
Heaven.
Pulling away gently the girl chuckled "you stole my first kiss-" "-and I'll do it again" he said cutting her off again with his lips on hers, a passionate and heated kiss made her melt in his arms, it was illegal for him to make her fall in love with him more with one simple fucking move. the next movement she made drove him crazy was the way her fingers played on his curly black hair, Picking her up his hand slid under her thigh, as he walked toward her room not breaking the kiss, closing the door behind them with his foot.
Jungkook's head rested on top of hers as he played with her H/C hair, "I never told you this, but do you know how much the Dior Sauvage & cigarette scent drove me crazy whenever I smell it on the outfits, I borrowed from you?" "oh yeah? new kink developed I guess" "yeah, I guess it's my kink," she said glancing lovingly at the boy in front of her, his fingers slowly pushed the strand of hair from her face as he smiled back at her, his fingers under her chin as he pulled her into a kiss.
"I'm in love with you girl with Dior Sauvage kink, Y/N L/N "
"and I'm in love with you too cigarette addicted bad boy, Jeon Jungkook"
#Jeon Jungkook#Jeon Jungkook x reader#bts#bts namjoon#bts jin#bts yoongi#bts hoseok#bts jhope#bts jimin#bts taehyung#bts jungkook#bts army#x reader#bts jungkook angst#bts jungkook fluff#bts x reader#daddy issues#anxiety#depression#abuse#angst#bts angst#bts x you#full story#bangtan#bangtan boys
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for the meet uglies, 55 indruck sfw? sorry apollo
Here you go! For those wondering, Apollo originates in my Amnesty Super Hero AU
âOkay sir, Iâm gonna say this as nice as I can.â
Indrid looks up from his drawing of some mushrooms. The ranger, a man about his age whose little bronze name tag reads âD. Newtonâ, has the look of someone choosing his words very, very carefully.
âYou are this close to me writin you up. And I mean this. Close.â He puts his thumb against his finger.
âI, is this not allowed?â The log heâs sitting on is technically on the trail, just next to it.
âThis ainât the problem. Itâs everythin you done since this morning thatâs the problem.â
âI-â
âFirst there was leavin your breakfast trash on the picnic table by the visitor center so chipmunks got into it--itâs real bad for them yâknow, makes âem too bold--then there was the selfies on off-limits spots, then you had the fu, uh, freakin nerve to be rude to Juno when she asked you to stay in safe areas, you littered left and right, then you left a beer can in the reeds by the plover nestinâ grounds. I donât even know where to start with that one; you know we donât allow alcohol in the park. Campgrounds sure, but we donât want fellas like you gettin drunk and then fallin off a rock. How can you be so careless, or not give a shit for a place people put time into protectin?
The smile thatâs been spreading across Indridâs face since the word âselfieâ is wide enough that the ranger spots it.
âMan, if you think this is funny, you wonât when youâre too drunk to swim or run from a bear. Then Iâm gonna have to bail your ass out, which I will, and youâre gonna eat a slice of humble pie big as that overinflated ego of yours.â
Indrid snickers. The ranger glares. Slowly, Indrid pulls back the hood of his sweatshirt and retrieves his glasses from the front of his shirt (he doesnât wear them when drawing in color due to their red lenses). The other mans expression slides off confusion and tumbles into horror.
âAw hell, Iâm sorry sir. Thought you were your, uh, well, guessin you got a twin runnin around this park.â He pulls the brim of his hat down in a charming attempt to hide his face.
âI do, and this is far from the first time Iâve been scolded in his place. Less so since I dyed my hairâ he indicates the artificial silver framing his face, âIâm mostly amused by how accurately you captured his orientation towards the world. Itâs also bitterly funny to discover he made someone else's day as unpleasant as he made mine.â
The ranger studies him, seems to notice the creases by his eyes and mouth, âSeem a little old to be gettin forced into family time. Not that you look old. Just, uh, I mean, you might be younger than me, hard to tell with the hair, uh, yeah.â
Indrid points in the direction of the beachside campsites, âThe Cold Family Reunion can only be begged off so long.â His phone dings, the reminder that itâs his turn to help his aunt with dinner, âspeaking of which, I should pack up.â He quickly gathers his supplies, sends the other man a final smile, âthank you for the laugh, Ranger Newton.â
âYouâre uh, youâre welcome. And tell your twin to throw his damn trash away.â He smiles as he says this, suggesting a joke, but Indrid resolves to remind Apollo of his manners anyway.
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The fog caresses the coastline, hiding the dawn entirely. Indrid pulls his hood up against the chill, the wooden bench and viewing deck damp from the weather. Heâs not going back to camp until heâs captured the sight before him; dozens of fishing boats on the dark water, their lights beautiful and soft against the grey world.
Sandy gravel crunches to his right, and then Ranger Newton appears. He keeps glancing at Indrid as he writes something indecipherable on a clipboard.
âIâm the nice one.â Indrid says in response to the quick, searching, looks.
âThank fuck.â He turns so theyâre actually looking at each other, âguess weâre both on the early shift.â
âNormally I wouldnât be, but the cold and quiet is preferable to my twin snoring. I brought my own one person tent, but then my aunt and uncle had their monthly argument and she needed a new place to sleep.â
âThat was mighty kind of you.â
Indrid shrugs, âNot really. I just want to get through this reunion with as little conflict as possible.â
âHowâd you end up on this thing? Said you couldnât get out of it but-â
âI just moved to town a month ago. Turns out this is a place my parents have always wanted to visit. Not enough to see me, mind you, or refrain from criticizing my choice of towns, but enough to host the reunion here so I had no escape. And if I want to eat with the family, I have to spend the night in the camp and not at home. And since money is tight after moving, well..."
The ranger whistles, âDamn, thatâs rough. But uh, since you live in town youâll actually get to see this place in nice weather.â
âIâm looking forward to it.â He shivers, âthough I enjoy the cold when I can be in my nice little apartment. In a tent, not so much.â
âIf you get a good sleepin bag or good company, gets a lot better.â The ranger smiles, then looks at his notes, âsorry, that ainât appropriate talk around a visitor.â
Indrid meets his green eyes, âIf you have recommendations for either, Iâm all ears.â
A gust of wind carries salt spray all the way to the platform, Indrid shivering as it mists his glasses.
âHereâ the ranger holds out his hnd, âI gotta go open the visitor center; nice and warm in there.â
â...Could you possibly come back in ten minutes? Iâd like to finish my sketch.â
âSure, wonât kill me to check on the tide measures while Iâm out here.â He tips his hat and soon Indrid sees him winding down a path to the beach. Eleven minutes later heâs back, telling Indrid about a huge starfish he saw.
On the walk to the visitor center, he learns the âDâ on his nametag is for âDuck,â that heâs a transplant from West Virginia, and that theyâre actually the same age. When Indrid explains that heâs a tattoo artist who sells his drawings on the side.
âYouâll appreciate this, thenâ Duck bends down to roll up his pant leg. Indrid appreciates the view and the well executed geometric tree tattoo on his ankle.
âJuno and I got âem together. Had to go with the ankle because I already got some on my arms. Canât show those off right now though.â
âMy, my, Ranger Newton, youâll flash a scandalous ankle at a guest but not take him to the gun show?â
Duck laughs, the sound like the mating call of a strange tropical bird; absurd and enchanting.
âGlad youâre in town to stay, Indrid. Think youâre the kind of fella Iâd like to get to know.â
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Maybe heâs being childish. Itâs not wrong for Apollo to say heâs making their father proud, that heâs successful, that heâs a golden boy of his field.
Itâs just obnoxious for him to do this the one time their extended family expressed Indridâs professional accomplishments. With that smile, the one Indrid knows for a damn fact he had fixed, that tone, that, thatâŠ.
That voice sounds familiar.
He reverses course, takes the path he passed by that points towards the amphitheater. What he gets is more a firepit with a small stage, but standing at the center and addressing fascinated families is Duck.
Indrid sits on the rickety bench furthest from the stage, lets Ducks explanations of night blooming plants and the creatures that pollinate them drown out the echoes of family dinner. When the program ends and the parents shepherd their children off with instructions for bedtime and brushing teeth Indrid stays, not ready to leave but not intending to attract Duckâs attention.
He gets it anyway.
âEnjoy the talk?â Duck stays two steps down from him, rests a foot up on the bench, âthis one is always real popular; when it gets warm, the little animal rehab place south of town brings education animals in. Yâknow, bats and owls, stuff like that.â
âIâll have to come back to see them.â The thought of seeing bats up close excites him, but heâs too tired to sell the emotion.
Duck frowns, âYou okay?â
Indrid shakes his head, tells him about the constant comments, the threat of living forever as the family disappointment, a threat he can deal with until heâs around them all. Then heâs right back to being seventeen and afraid of failing them.
â....Apolloâs always been the golden boy, ruthless and goal focused like our father. He always knows just what to say to get under my skin and dig out the scar tissue,â Indrid sighs, âAll I wanted tonight was to roast marshmallows and go to bed early.â
The ranger moved from the steps to the bench beside him as he told his story. Now, Duck looks at him, smile more soothing than the thrum of the distant waves, âI got an idea. Guessinâ you donât gotta tell your family where youâre goin, right?â
âNo, most of them will assume Iâm off sulking and Apollo will hope Iâve fallen off a cliff.â
âThen leave âem to be their shitty selves and come home with me. Uh, not, not-not like that, fuck, like what youâre thinkin, uh. Fuck. What I mean is; I got a fireplace and some marshmallows. You want in?â
Indrid watches the dying fire flicker of the curves of his face, thinks back on the last week. The ranger has been a frequent companion, brings him hot cocoa from the little cafe and tells him where heâll be for chunks of the day in case Indrid needs a break from his family. Last night, all Indrid could think about was wanting Duck to be in the tent beside him.
âAbsolutely.â
On the drive over, Indrid points out his apartment complex and Duck points out the best places to eat and the cheapest laundromats. His house is tiny, looks like it was built when the town was a logging hub and not a tourist destination.
âMake yourself at home, itâll take me a sec to get the fire goinâ--uhuh, Taco, stop tryinâ to open that cabinet.â He hoists a yowling, blonde ball of fur on the couch. The cat directs a suspicious look Indridâs way and then settles on top of the pile of blankets.
âYou a sâmore man?â Duck calls from the kitchen.
âNo, thank you. I prefer my sugar in a single bite.â
âYou eat marshmallows in one bite? Iâm always worried Iâll choke.â
âI have an accommodating mouth.â Indrid smirks when Duck audibly drops the bag. Heâs not always the best with social cues, but if the way Duck kept brushing their hands together on the center armrest in his car is any indication, the ranger is trying to pick him up.
Once the fire is going Duck sits on the rug, patting the spot to his left. Indrid joins him. Caramelizing sugar and increasingly sleepy laughter soon fills the air. Neither of them keep their knees from touching, and Duck keeps dropping his head to Indridâs shoulder when he giggles. The whole scene is so heavenly Indrid isnât paying attention to their marshmellow consumption. He reaches into the empty bag and makes a disappointed noise.
âDamn, we really went through âem.â He catches Indridâs eye with a playful grin, âyou still cravinâ sugar?â
Indrid licks his lips, âYes.â
Duck cups his cheek, guiding him into a sleepy, close-mouthed kiss, brushing their noses together when he pulls back to murmur, âThat do the trick?â
âHmmmmm?â Indrid cocks his head, âno.â
The other man guffaws as Indrid pulls him down on top of him, kissing him happily and wiggling his hips when Duck digs his fingers into his hair. His own hands migrate under Duckâs shirts, finding his body just as warm and wonderful as he hoped.
He nips Duckâs lower lip. The ranger growls and Indrid is no longer tired.
âCare to see just how accommodating my mouth can be?â
Duck rolls them twice so theyâre a safe distance from the fire, âHell yeah.â
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Indrid saunters into camp late in the morning, some of the Colds already packing up to depart. His twin is stuck on dish duty, grins like a barracuda when he spots Indrid.
âI donât know why youâre here. You missed breakfast, and you werenât in camp last night, so you donât get lunch or dinner either. May as well skulk back into the shadows.â
âMmm, yes, I was rather undutiful.â Indrid spots a figure checking campsite permits, who stealthily blows him a kiss, âbut at this moment in time, I donât particularly care.â
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alright so shawngus + the lyrics âyou wrote 100 letters just for me/ and i find them in my closet in the pockets of my jeans/ now i'm constantly reminded of the time i was 19/ every single one's forgotten in a laundromat machineâ
(like this is gus 5ish years after shawn left after graduation without saying anything. gus went a couple of months without hearing from him and then shawn started sending letters/postcards and he never really explained himself but just acted like everything was normal (ok maybe he apologised a bit). and gus never responded to any of them bc he was mad (going off the same theme as my other ask), and then these vibes).
okay so LMAO i was planning on writing a proper fic out of this (still might tbh who knows i sure don't) but since it has taken so long already and i feel bad for letting this ask in my inbox, here's an outline? i guess? went kinda jackwild with it but stuck to the lyrics at least so hope you like it :P
after graduation shawn just up and left. gus is left a little too shaken up, but after some days he notices how the signs were there, shawn always talking about leaving, learning other stuff, etc etc. he thinks it was kind of inevitable, you can't really stop shawn spencer, can you? doesn't mean he's not angry.
only thing gus has wrt shawn's status is whatever he talked about prior to leaving, and the little note he left at the Spencers' fridge (it said like, left and not coming back anytime soon, will keep in touch, tell gus i'm sorry). gus has no idea what shawn means by keeping in touch, but after a couple months, his parents call him about a letter from shawn addressed to gus and if they should send it to him.
it becomes a monthly? bi-weekly? thing, then: shawn sends a letter to the gusters' house in santa barbara, and they send it to gus at college. when gus goes back to sb, he either goes to his parents' house to pick up the letter, or they send it to his house.
the subject of the letter range from updates on shawn's life to miscellaneous ramblings. the first letter was an explanation and apology to gus, the awkwardness palpable in the words. the following letters still had this feeling of i wanna keep in touch, but i'm not sure i should. shawn always ended the letters with some questions on how gus was doing, first in hope he would answer, and later on just more out of routine. he would never get angry at gus for not responding, knows too well gus has every right to still be mad at him. shawn got worried gus wouldn't like his letters, especially after he inicially never got a reply, but, yknow, he never got a reply, nothing saying him to stop, and he would rather bother gus with his business then to hurt gus even more.
so! this keeps going on for the 10 years shawn's away, until he comes back (the last letter he sent said he was coming back, so it's not such a surprise to gus when he arrives at his doorstep a little out of breath bc he had to ask the gusters where gus was currently at). they don't really mention the letter, tbh. like, after some days, shawn asks gus if he ever got his letters, and when gus answers yes, shawn asks if he read then, to which gus days yes, and after a beat he days thank you and doesn't really elaborate, and shawn's not sure he has the right to pry, so he just smiles at gus and leaves the subject.
UNTIL when gus's moving, he calls shawn to help him pack and stuff (completely forgot how moving works lmao sorry), and while shawn's rummaging through gus's closet, he finds this box? chest? idk in the back of the closet, behind all this stuff, with some dust over it, all worn out at the sides, with a note on its top that reads shawn's letters. the box is clearly old, and probably needs some taken care of, but it's a sentimental thing, yknow? you don't keep something like that for so long if it doesn't hold some sentimental value to you.Â
shawn doesn't open it outright, he's not a jerk, but he does hold it and just sits in the middle of the bedroom, not really sure what to do. he stays like that for so long gus starts to worry, calling for shawn until he finds him there, still a little in shock.
"those are my letter," gus nods, "the ones i sent you while i was away, those letter."
"yes, shawn, those letter."
"you kept them." shawn's starting to get teary eyed now, but he doesn't want to wet the box, god knows what salt water will do to it.
"you expected me to throw away my best friend's letters?"
"i don't know what i expected, to be honest."
it's been, what? some few years since shawn came back? anyway, their dynamic came back to what it used to be, and the feelings they had for each other just grew strong (they never went away, is the thing, it just wasn't very apparent when they weren't together all the time). yet, it's kinda awkward. new territory and stuff, yknow? they stare at each other for a while, like a while while, until gus just sits down besides shawn (who has not stopped crying btw, but is trying his hardest to not wet the box), picks the box off his hands and sets it aside, and then, very very softly, just cups shawn's face, not really cleaning his tears.
"shawn," and is gus also crying? look, goddamn sue him, it's all very emotional, "thank you" and he kisses him. not a hungry kiss, though it feels like something they both have been starving for, or a rushed kiss, because they have all the time in the world. it's soft, sweet, but reassuring, certain, this is what i want, thank you, thank you, thank you.
#asks.txt#a: fruitygus#psych#psy: a friendship for the ages#*m: au#*m: psych#HEY long time no see right lmao sorry for taking so long totally my bad#anyway i'm going through my inbox so expect some answers in the next few days <3#also it's late and i don't feel like going through this so have it in its rawest form#(what am i even saying i always send my stuff in its rawest form? anyway i will shut up now)
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Flower Song - c. 3 - JJ Maybank
Request: So Ik you said youâre not taking request but I had an idea for your creedance (?? I already forgot what itâs called sorry my memory is fucked) series where youâre babysitting your niece again and you ask JJ to help her change and everything after a bath and you walk into the room and hear him singing the flower song from Tangled :( I could just imagine him softly singing while sheâs drowsy trying to fight sleep so that they can continue singing đ„șđ„șđ„șđ„șđ„șđ„ș
A/N: I really just need to write fluff.
Creedence Masterlist | Outer Banks Masterlist
âïž âïž âïž âïž
You were on the phone with your sister, cleaning up the bathroom after Beaâs bath, throwing towels in the hamper to take to the laundromat tomorrow morning, while JJ put your niece to bed.Â
She was the only four year old that you knew who was capable of turning bath time into a mess, rubber duck toys and a Seasame Street submarine lay in the wreckage as you scrubbed some forgotten bubble bath out of the tub and promised your sister that everything was under control. Â
âYeah, sheâs been great. Iâm gonna go put her to bed now.â You said, putting her toys in a basket and rearranging the bottles of wash and shampoo. Â
Your sisterâs husband had a work trip to Hawaii for two weeks and your sister had jumped at the opportunity to go along, leaving you in charge of Bea and the house. It was less than ten minutes after your sister had pulled out of the driveway that JJ had ridden his dirt bike up, backpack on, with every intention of staying for the two weeks. Your sister and your brother-in-law liked to travel, usually without their daughter, and you were happy to have the house because it meant another place that JJ could crash. And because you couldnât help the escape into your brain, playing some sort of convoluted pretend that you and JJ were together and this was your house and your kid. It was innocent, really. Â
âAre you listening?â Your sister stressed, voice an octave higher than necessary. Â
âYes, what?â
âMiss Lana said she saw JJ around yesterday,â your sister said, ratting your neighbor out as a snitch, âno boys, remember?â
âHe stopped by for like .2 seconds.â You lied. Â
âI donât want guys in the house. This isnât some excuse for you to have your boyfriend over.â She replied, trying for the sternness that your mom had at some point, long before you could remember. Neither of you really knew how to be parents, siblings, children. It was all just a part you played. Â
âNo guys, I swear.â Â
âWeâll be home next Tuesday,â she promised. Â
Once she was off the phone you finished in the bathroom and headed down the hall to Beaâs room. Youâd left JJ in charge of putting your niece to bed once the phone rang and you realized it was your sister. Heâd taken the toddler down the hall, holding her in his arms when she complained that she was too cold to walk by herself. Â
JJ had taken her into her bedroom and set her on the bed, going to her dresser to pull out pajamas. âAlright your highness, which pair? Butterflies or...penguins?â He asked, holding the two oversized t-shirts up for her. She stood on the bed, wrapped in her frog towel, the hood up over her wet hair, lips pursed as she thought over her options.
âButterflies!â She pointed to the one on the left and he stuffed the penguin shirt back in, making her laugh when the drawer wouldnât close all the way. Â
âWe donât know who did that.â He teased, giving her clothes to dress in while he checked the shelf for a book. He knew the night routine better than her own dad. JJ had been helping you take care of Bea long enough that it was second nature. Â
âNo books!â She announced, tossing her towel across the room with a flourish and flopping onto the bed. Â
âNo books? What then?â He laughed, coming over to sit on the side of her bed. She sat against the pillows, her arms around the stuffed bear JJ had bought her for her birthday. Â
âSing!â Bea decided, âthe flower song!â Â
The three of you had watched Tangled three times in the last two days; it was her new favorite movie and she was slowly learning key words in the songs. JJ knew exactly what song she was talking about. âAlright but Iâm warning you my voice is not up to Flynn Ryder level.â
âFlynn doesnât sing that song.â She giggled. Â
âRight, well Iâm no Rapunzel either,â he pointed out though he knew it wouldnât keep him from singing if Bea asked. Â
He really did love being here, spending time with you and Bea gave him that sense of family that heâd never gotten to experience in his own home. He knew you were a lot like him, carving out places on the island where you could belong but none of them ever feeling quite like a home. This, the three of you together, was the most home heâd ever felt in one place. And he loved Bea but that wasnât the reason heâd started volunteering to babysit with you. He was trying his hardest to show you that he was responsible, that he would be a good boyfriend, and hoping that maybe you would change your mind about being just friends. You didnât know he felt that way about you, heâd never said anything, but after your slip two weeks ago he couldnât help hoping that you saying you loved him meant you actually loved him. Â
You carried the full laundry basket down to the front door before heading back upstairs to check on Bea and JJ. Since your sister was gone, he had been staying in your room while you slept in your sisterâs room to be closer to Bea in case, she needed you. Once you reached the top of the steps you could hear the familiar sound of JJâs off-key voice and Beaâs half-singing/half-shouting to a song from Tangled. You stopped just outside the door, listening as JJ repeated the song over, biting your lip to stop yourself from making any noise. You could hear Bea starting to waver in her wakefulness and you backed up further toward the stairs.
-
âYou can pretend to wash dishes all you want, I know you were listening to my incredible singing skills.â JJ teased, coming into the kitchen and pulling himself up onto the counter beside the sink. Â
âI wouldnât call them incredible...I also wouldnât call it singing.â You replied, jumping back when he flicked water at you. âJJ!â
âDonât be mean to me. I single-handedly put Bea to bed...thatâs some record shit right there.â
âYes it was, Iâm in awe of your child rearing abilities Jay. I can only hope to be as good with kids as you someday.â You said, rolling your eyes at him. Â
âIâll teach you my ways. For a price.â He added as an afterthought. Â
âA price? What kind of price?â You asked, âice cream allowance?â Â
âA date.â Â
You paused, water pouring over your hands and the plate you were halfway done scrubbing dinner off of, heart pounding in your chest at his suggestion. You tried to calm yourself down, remind yourself that it was all probably a joke on his part. Just JJ being funny. âA date?â You couldnât help asking though. Â
âYeah. You, me, Bea can even come, a movie, maybe dinner. Possibly just some netflix and chill.â He replied, âA date.â Â
âAre you shitting me right now Jay?â
âNo, Iâm dead serious. I wanna go on a date with you.â He said, âso lets go.â
âOkay.â
âOkay.â JJ slipped off the counter and leaned over, kissing your cheek. âIâll see you in the morning. We can talk day and time.â
âSee you in the morning.â Â
You watched him walk to your bedroom and close the door behind him, fighting the urge to let out some embarrassing version of a squeal once he had disappeared, knowing that he would definitely hear you. Part of you didnât care though, he had asked you on a date, something you had been imagining for so long now that you still had trouble believing the conversation youâd just had actually happened. Â
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February Ice Storm
It just occurred to me that I hadnât really told you guys about the experience I had back in February with the ice storm that nailed us and knocked out power for us for 3 days but people in my city for up to 10 days.
Originally, I had planned to turn it into a drabble and I actually started it, but it wasnât exactly something I wanted to revisit. Mentally, I wasnât in a good place thanks to anxiety and an emotional rollercoaster of whatâs going to happen.
I know I shared bits and pieces of what had gone down, but this a more in-depth account of my experience from the ice storm that hit Oregon Valentineâs weekend of this year.
Let me preface this by saying that we knew that we were going to get an ice storm... but it was the worst ice storm weâve had in a long time. And it did an astonishing amount of damage that we are still trying to recover from a month and a half later. Driving around, it looked like a tornado had ripped through and knocked down trees randomly. With as many trees that fell, itâs shocking how many didnât.
The storm hit Friday night, February 12th, and it was just cold. Then about 3 am, the power went out. I know this because thatâs when I suddenly found myself in the complete dark (no alarm clock, etc.) I didnât think much of it and went back to sleep.
I was rudely awaken a few hours later by the sound of trees cracking and crashing to the ground. Let me tell you, that is a terrifying experience.
Knowing I still didnât have power, I put on multiple layers and tried to make myself comfortable. However, by this time, it had started to warm up so there was lots of trees cracking all around me. Which was great for my anxiety.
Neither was the fact that the power outage had taken out the cell phone networks in my area. More on that in a moment.
Then I heard some neighbors outside, so I went out to talk to them and saw that a large limb from the pine tree by my building, was practically laying on my car. Some guys walking past, assured me that it was just on my car and not in my car.
It was cold, so I went back inside and tried to distract myself. But my main source of distraction, aka my phone, wasnât really an option to me. And I could not access any of the music I would normally use to help myself relax when my anxiety is acting up.
I finally found a place in my apartment where I got good reception... by the sliding glass door that over looks the backyard where one tree had already uprooted itself and where more trees could easily come crashing down.
Anxiety is being amazing at this point. Iâm sure you can tell.
Especially when on top of the trees cracking... I got the beautiful thunking of ice dropping out of trees as it warmed up. And weâre talking like chunks of ice as big as baseballs!
It was about that time that I heard a crack that was too close for comfort and knew, without a shadow of a doubt that the limb had broken and it was on my car. Two steps out my front door confirmed my fear, but when I tried to go see how bad it was, I heard the cracking of limbs and had to run back to the safety of my apartment as more limbs and ice baseballs dropped.
I was able to text my parents and asked if someone could try and come get me. They live parallel to me across two major roads, so it wouldnât be a long trip if they could make it a little later once it had warmed up some more.
While I waited, I packed some stuff and tried to read, but it honestly was just too much.
And as annoying and little brother like as my brother-in-law can be, I have never been so happy to see him as I was that day when he and my mom showed up to get me.
By that time, I was flinching at every little noise that seemed to echo through my small apartment. And it was just becoming way too much. Even as I write this, the memory of that morning has me crying because I was too scared to cry on that day.
While he was waiting for me, my brother in law looked at my car and saw that the branches were resting on it, but the car looked ok.
The short drive to my parents house was shocking with the number of trees and power lines that were down. Also shocking was how many trees that didnât land on houses. We did see a couple of cars smashed by trees though. And street lights were out every where.
I was very happy when we got to my parents house which is bigger than the building with 8 apartments that I live in. Their backyard is full of pine trees and they had lost a lot of limbs and stuff, but with everyone else there, you couldnât hear the noises that had ramped up my anxiety.
Once I was there, the rest of the day passed relatively easy. I was with my family and that helped calm my anxiety because I knew I was in a safe place. We ordered pizza from a place that still had power. My brother in law built fires my parents fire places and my mom and I played dominos by flashlight. I also got some reading done.
Then I slept in my parents guest room... and the bed isnât comfortable and the house was probably in the 45F range.
Sunday morning aka Valentineâs Day was warmer than the day before and my mom and I drove to my apartment to see what we could do about the limb on my car... only to find that someone had already pulled it off and chopped it up. We confirmed that my car was ok and the only damage to it was that my $5 license plate frame had been broken and the corner of my license plate was bent.
After that, we drove out to a grocery store that had power for some food, more logs for the fireplace and coffee... that my mom had to stand in line for 20+ mins to get.
When we got back to their house, we found a flurry of activity happening as my parents next door neighbor had rented a giant generator the day before to keep his house going and offered to let us plug some extension cords in so we could charge stuff, use small appliances and use a small heater.
So our Sunday afternoon was spent with our phones plugged in and a small space heater barely keeping us warm. But it was an improvement from the day before.
Then my uncle showed up. Heâs been going back and forth between living with his ex girlfriend and living with my parents. With him at my parents house and knowing that my own apartment was still above 50F and therefore warmer than my parents house, I opted to sleep in my own bed that night.
So after getting pizza for dinner again (đ€ą) my mom dropped me off at my apartment for a cool night.
I started in my living room knowing that my back wouldnât like 10+ hours in my bed and I actually got some light from a lamp by plugging it into my computerâs battery backup, which really did raise my spirits a bit.
But eventually I ended up in my room with the door closed, knowing Iâd be able to lock in more heat that way. And it did work... but it was still a long night.
Because of no power and the fact that Iâve been working from home since March 2020, I told my boss I was taking the day off. At that time, the power company still still quoting power back on Monday. For me, they were even saying early Monday.
But my apartment was still cold and dark when I woke up. Which meant I cleaned out my fridge and freezer and then took my laundry out to the laundromat by my momâs office that had power and heat.
So I took care of my laundry and then was going to head back to my parents, until I decided to see if Office Depot had any sales going on with laptops. And I ended up driving across town to buy one in case I needed to find some place to work other than my apartment for a couple days.
After that, I went to my parents house and watched a movie with my niece while power crews worked outside. I was still hoping theyâd be able to get the power and internet back up so I wouldnât have to drive to work Tuesday, but it wasnât looking good.
By 5:30, I knew even if the power did some how come back on, I was still going to be without internet, so I left my parents and went to the grocery store for things to make a lunch that didnât require a fridge since I still didnât have that. And they were operating on their backup generators and actually stopped letting people into the store as I was checking out.
That evening, I played on my new laptop a bit and chatted with friends since my cell network was almost back up to speed, but I was in bed when the power came back on around 10 pm. And you sure as hell know I got out of bed and turned on every light switch just because I could!
I slept much better than night and did end up going into the office the next day for a partial day, but when I got home I had internet again.
For me and my family, we were without power for some 56 hours or so. But we had family friends and coworkers who went a good 10 days without power.
We donât get storms like this and we were not prepared for it to be as bad as it was.
But the biggest take away for me is now necessarily how dependent I am on technology to entertain me... but for how to help me get through a rough situation.
Other than seeing a few members of my family once a week, Iâve been relatively on my own for the last year. And itâs been my âpocket friendsâ that have been my saving grace, my connection with the outside world. Theyâre the people that I turn to when Iâm having a problem. And I was almost completely cut off from them for two whole days.
Add to that the rain storms and other anxiety reducing sounds that Iâve come to depend on. With the networks down, I couldnât access any of those coping tools either.
My anxiety was the worst that Saturday morning than it has been in a long time. But by Monday evening, I was so tired emotionally and physically that I was just a mess. The roller coaster of the unknown was the worst part. You could make plans... but without power, there were things you just couldnât do.
All in all, it was a once in a life time experience. As in, I donât want to experience it again. Ever.
I think it will be a long time before a power outage doesnât trigger anxiety within me. Because this last one was rough.
And now that Iâve relived this all in hopes that it might help me recover a little from what happened, itâs time for me to try and get some sleep. Probably shouldnât have written this at night.. but oh well.
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Daddy Issues?
Description:Â this is a continuation from the last part. She opens up a lot due to the fact that she's on pain medicine. The college graduation part of this actually happened to me and I just thought I'd add it in.
Rating: Teen
Warnings: None really. Sheâs on medicine, but she is in the hospital, so . . . there is that. Talk of negligent parenting and trust issues because of it.
Also, for those interested I have a Stranger Things fan fiction in the works - Steve Harrington - and an American Horror Story fan fiction - Michael Langdon. They are not one-shots but multi-chapter connected things. Anyway, onto this one . . .
Spencer stayed with her during visiting hours and through the night. She was allowed one person to stay with her and she had chosen him. His friends had come by to see her, Garcia bringing a teddy bear and flowers, and then her friends had come by as well. None of them had stayed too long, mostly because she had started to become overwhelmed but also because she'd gotten a headache and started to feel nauseated from the head wound. It was normal for someone with a concussion to experience those things, so he wasn't that worried.
Spencer hated hospitals â germs, the weird lights, just everything about them was unsettling to him â but he'd found that he couldn't say no when she'd asked him to stay. Knowing she would need a ride home tomorrow he'd even offered to take a personal day.
"You shouldn't take a personal day just for that. There are probably other things you'd like to do."
"You're gonna be in a lot of pain tomorrow," he said. "I mean, you're not going to be able to use your arm really, and you're still going to have a headache â you might have that for a while. You need someone to take you home and I really don't mind taking a personal day and spending it with you."
"I . . . Okay."
Her cheeks took on a pink tint, which really showed up since her face was otherwise pale due to blood loss and shock â even though she claimed she was fine.
He hadn't really left her side since he'd gotten there even when she had drifted in and out of sleep between other people visiting. He'd gotten up to go get food and coffee and that was it.
"Spencer?"
"Hm?"
"Thank you for everything. For coming when I called and staying because I asked you to. I'm â I'm really not used to that."
"What? Someone being a good friend?"
"No. A guy being nice to me without wanting something in return. I mean, even my dad doesn't really talk to me unless he needs something from me."
"I'm sorry. I, uh . . . never really knew my dad. He left when I was young and what I do remember isn't great. I think he wanted a more normal family."
"Oh. Well, that's on him. Not you."
Spencer still hadn't talked to her about his mother and all he'd gone through with that and he honestly didn't know when he should bring it up. He knew if he really wanted to be with her that he would have to be honest about it so that she wouldn't possibly be going into something blind, but now definitely wasn't the time to bring it up. He did know that.
"I think . . . I think the reason I like you so much is because you're, like, the exact opposite of my dad."
"Uh-oh. Latent daddy issues?" he teased.
She shook her head and laughed a little. "No. And don't make me laugh. It's not helping my head at all."
"Sorry, sorry." He smiled. "What did you mean then?"
"Well, just little things mostly, but you're already different in that the last time I was in the hospital my dad never even came to see me and he kind of got annoyed at me when I called him. I was still living with my grandmother at the time so he wasn't even that far away and he didn't come see me. Didn't ask how I was when I talked to him."
"I would never not come see you if you were in the hospital. And I'm never annoyed when you call me. I like hearing from you."
She went on as though he hadn't spoken, but he knew she'd heard him.
"He's always late. If he says he's going to be somewhere at a certain time, you can bet he's going to be at least an hour later than that. He has no time management skills at all. You've never kept me waiting â ever."
Spencer noticed that her voice was getting softer and he was sure she was going to talk herself to sleep. It was getting darker and the nurse had given her medicine to relax her, so it wouldn't be abnormal for her to fall asleep from it.
"You know, he even almost missed my college graduation. He knew the ceremony was at 11:00 and he waited until the morning of to go to the laundromat â the washer at his house was broken, and don't even get me started on how long it took him to get a new one. But anyway, it fits his pattern. He's late for everything â bills, insurance, even getting the tags on his car renewed, which meant I chauffeured him around a lot when I lived near him. He knew I would do it, so why bother?"
Now her voice was soft because she had tears in her eyes and was about to cry. Spencer realized the medicine must've made her thoughts and mouth a little looser. She'd never really talked about her dad before.
"I used to be afraid of him. He could get so angry, and I've never seen you angry. I mean, yeah, you've been upset, but you never shout or hit things or throw things."
Spencer's back stiffened as tension filled him. For one, he hoped she wasn't implying what he thought she was, and two . . . he hoped she didn't regret telling him this when the medicine wore off.
"He was angry a lot when I was a kid. But the worst was that you could do something one time and he'd be fine with it. The next time you do it, he would pitch a fit. I would walk on egg shells around him a lot of the time. I'm glad I didn't actually live with him. I mean, he never hurt me or anyone else, but he would still hit the wall or something, still scare us sometimes."
Spencer had no clue what to say to any of that and sometimes the best thing to do was just listen and not say a word, so that was what he did. He did, however, let himself process that she'd been through a form of mental abuse as a child â she probably didn't even consider it that. Victims of abuse sometimes didn't think of what they went through as abuse. Some even came to think of it as normal.
"He was really hard to get close to. I mean, you couldn't even have a conversation with the guy. He would stop talking to you if you didn't agree with what he said."
"I love talking with you," he said. "I wouldn't stop talking to you just because we don't agree on something."
Her not liking loud or sudden noises made sense now â not that sensory overload didn't make sense, but this could be another reason for it. She'd grown up around yelling and anger.
"And, to be honest, you're not someone I can imagine being mad at or not enough to shout at you. I don't get that type of angry. I don't want you to ever be afraid of me."
"I never have been," she said. "Despite you being a profiler, you're pretty open emotionally . . . or at least you have been with me.
"I have," he agreed. It was almost disconcerting to him. "Anything else I need to clarify?"
"I don't know. I â he never physically left my mom, but sometimes it was like he did. He would go years without a job and she'd have to make do on a minimum wage job â retail or something like that and sometimes she'd have to not pay a bill just so they would have food on the table. And he was there. That's the thing. He was physically there, he just wouldn't be working or providing for his family, for my mom and my brother. It used to make me so mad and I wasn't even living with them."
Her dad sounded like he had a classic case of the Peter Pan Syndrome and had never wanted to grow up. He imagined her dad had never had to answer for anything he'd done as a child and so didn't know how to take responsibility for anything.
"I don't mind taking care of you," he said softly, "if you'll let me."
She didn't respond vocally, but she did let a small smile grace her lips even as a few more tears fell down her cheeks.
"I think you should sleep," he said. "I think the medicine is making you say things you might not have."
"Probably. But I'm glad I'm saying it to you and not someone else."
She calmed herself down and closed her eyes, but she still didn't sleep. He knew because a few minutes later she was looking to him again.
"Can I hold you hand again?" Her voice was quiet and a little hoarse even. "I know you don't, you know, really do that, but you let me earlier."
He pressed his lips together to keep from grinning and offered up his hand.
"Apparently I don't mind with you."
"Hm." She slipped her hand over his and slid her fingers between his. "I will consider myself special then."
"Very special.
It didn't take long for her to go to sleep once she decided to stay quiet for more than a few minutes. He stayed there in the chair beside her that night. Not that he'd been planning on leaving, but after her confessing all of the things she had he would've stayed with her anyway. He would not have left her to feel vulnerable when she woke up the next morning.
In a way, he was glad she'd opened up to him. In a completely different way, he wasn't, because he now felt he really had to open up to her too â especially since he was feeling a certain type of way about her. There were parts of his past he was scared to share with her â things that had nothing to do with his mom at all and more to do with his job and things that had come about because of his job.
She would have to know about them before he let her know how he felt about her because it seemed she felt for him at least some of what he was feeling for her.
He would have to be honest with her.
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Survey #384
âwatch your tongue or have it cut from your headâ
Do you post to say happy birthday on other peopleâs walls? Sometimes. Depends on my mood and the person. When was the last time you saw a rainbow? Idr. Whatâs your favorite television commercial? I don't watch TV enough at all to have one. And who has a favorite commercial, anyway? Do you trip a lot? I don't really trip a lot, but kinda fumble over my footing and stray a bit. I'm horrible at walking straight, and it's gotten worse as my legs have. How old is your television? The one in the living room is god knows how old. My parents were still together when they bought it. When did you last talk on the phone with someone? A couple days ago for my appointment with my psychiatrist. Are you currently sleepy? I'm quite convinced I'm permanently tired. Are you hot or cold natured? I am ALWAYS fucking hot, ugh. Do you take any advanced classes? I took mostly Honors classes in school. Do you have weak upper body strength? My body is just weak as a whole. What is the worst insult someone can call you? Emotionally weak. Are you good at sketching? If we're talking meerkats, haha. They're the only complex thing that I can freehand no problem without needing a reference, honestly. Ever play Angry Birds? Nah. I thought the movie was cute, though. Have you ever been to the zoo before? Yeah. Has anyone ever been weirdly obsessed with you? No. Are you afraid someone might steal your identity someday? It's not something I actively worry about at all. Like, you don't want my identity, I promise. Do you have any talents that come naturally? Growing up, adults always told me I was a "gifted" artist and writer. Also that I seem to have an unnaturally strong connection with animals. I've always been that person where a pet's owner is like "omg ____ never lets people do that" and whatnot. Have you ever had plastic surgery before? I haven't. It's funny though, how opposed to it I used to be... Like goddamn, I was such a fucking stupid and honestly judgmental teenager, regarding many things. I look back on her and cringe. Like damn dude, if you have a safe surgical procedure to help you enjoy the body you're stuck with the rest of your life, you go for it, boo. Are you afraid of airplane rides? Not really. Whatâs the best Valentineâs Day gift youâve gotten? There was this one year where Jason had to go to work on Valentine's Day and I was super bummed, yet he still surprised me with a heart-shaped box of chocolates, roses, and a game I really wanted, Heavy Rain. I thought it was the sweetest. What is something you lose often? My phone. ;-; Do you enter a lot of sweepstakes? I don't enter any. Do you consider yourself physically active? *chuckles nervously* Do you have Netflix? Yeah. Favorite salad dressing? That Olive Garden replica you can buy at the store. Do you enjoy dancing? Once upon a time I did. My body could never handle it now. Have you ever considered writing a novel? Many times. Snow or sand? Snow, by twenty thousand miles. It is VERY hard for me to walk through sand, and I also hate hate hate hate HATE the sensation. Do you like sour candy? Heeeeeell yeah man. Have you gotten any injuries lately? If so, what & how? Nothing notable. Are you a clumsy person? Like you would not fucking believe. Last male you talked to in person? I think my primary physician's nurse. Are you thinking about asking anyone out? No. Pink lemonade or regular lemonade? Pink lemonade, for sure. But I love both. Chocolate or strawberry milk? CHOCOLATE. Strawberry milk is disgusting. Have you ever won a contest on the radio?No. Is there a song that reminds you of your best friend? There's quite a few. Has a book ever made you cry? Yes. Do you automatically check your phone when you wake up? Yes, for the time. Do you know anyone who has a pet bunny? Not that I'm aware. What store or website would you most like a gift card for? Rebel's Market. How do you feel about wolves? I adore wolves. Beautiful, majestic creatures with very interesting social dynamics. Name your top 3 favorite musical instruments. Electric guitar, violin, piano. What was the last book(s) you bought at a bookstore? At an actual bookstore, I think it was The Fault In Our Stars, which I never actually read. Do you use Pinterest? Yes. Do you know any sign language? No. Do you have a favorite poem? No. Do you have a dog? No. The one we were pretty much stuck with has a home now. Have you ever read The Little House on the Prairie series? I haven't. Have you ever gone on a service trip to an underprivileged country? No. Have you ever performed in front of more than 100 people? Yes, for dance. When (if ever) was the last time you went to church? Forever ago, I don't even remember the last time. What's a quote you think is really powerful? There's a whole lot. The first one that came to mind was, "An eye for an eye will leave the world blind," which I do believe has great depth in it. Have you ever had to do your laundry at a laundromat? Yes. Are you the oldest person who lives in your household? No. My mom is turning 60 (... I think?) this year. If you have tattoos, how long have you had them? I got my first the day I turned 18. Do you and your dad have similar personalities? We're alike in some ways, imo most notably in that we have NO fucking common sense, embarrassing as that is to admit. We're both kinda slow at understanding things, too. What were the last three things you had to drink? Mountain Lightning, milk, and water. What did your family usually do for Easter when you were a kid? Us three kids all got Easter baskets full of stuff, and we'd go egg-hunting when we were all awake. My little sister Nicole would always wake our parents up in excitement, haha. My parents hid plenty throughout the house, and there was always this one "special" egg that was actually from Mom's childhood and was extremely intricate and beautiful. You basically "won" the hunt if you found it, and it was extremely well-hidden. When you have house guests over, where do they sleep? Historically since living here, my two half-sisters and their spouses (the only people who've stayed over) slept in what is *technically* Mom's room, but for whatever reason this woman still insists on sleeping on the couch in the living room, I guess because she's used to it after all the years she didn't have her own room and bed. Are you emotionally stable? LOLOOLOLOOLLOLOOLOOLOLLOOLOLLLLLLLLLLL Do you still talk to the very first person you had sex with? No. Are you an atheist? No. I don't quite know how to define what I am, but since I believe there's SOME higher power, I don't think it's fitting to call me an atheist. Whatâs the largest bug youâve ever found in your house? Hm... I'm unsure. Probably a male mosquito, 'cuz them bitches are big'ins. Would it annoy you if a stranger called you "sweetie?" If it was a man, I'd be creeped out. Are you into fashion design? Not really. Whatâs the worst thing youâve gone through in the past year? My leg muscles continuing to degrade, honestly. I have to do something about this shit. How did you get your last bruise? I fell when stepping over the stupid dog gate. Have your parents ever forgotten your birthday? Yikes, no. Would you rather have some bacon or beef jerky? Bacon. Do you like your orange juice with lots or no pulp? NONE. Do you wear skinny jeans? Back when I wore jeans, they were the only kind I wore. What projects are you doing now for school? I'm outta school. Whatâs the most number of comments you have on a Facebook picture? What is the picture of? I have no idea. Do you like coconut flavored things? No. Have you ever met a famous author before? No. Do you know anybody who has been raped before? No, thank god. I know someone who might've almost been, though. I don't know what the fucking pig was going to do to her if my sister and I weren't there. Have you ever wished for bigger boobs? No. Being overweight, I just want smaller ones now, haha. Have you ever gone a full day without interacting with another person? I've gone many days without it. How many relationships have you been in that lasted less than a year? Four, if you're counting everyone that had the "boyfriend" title. Where were you going the last time you were on a plane? Home from Illinois. Where were you going the last time you were on a train? I've never been on one. Have you ever been significantly more physically fit than you are now? Holy fuck, yes. You would never guess now that I was perfectly healthy in high school especially, yet I still thought I was kinda fat. It hurts so much to look back on. When growing up, did you parents keep the house very tidy? I mean not excessively, but Mom was pretty dedicated to keeping the house in decent condition. With three kids though, of course the house was somewhat messy with toys and all. When you shop at IKEA, do you always stop to eat a snack/meal in the cafeteria? ... There's a fucking cafeteria in a furniture store? o_o I've never been there before. How many watches do you own? None, save for one in my "treasure box" from when I was a kid. I was SO SO SO obsessed with Finding Nemo that I kept my broken one. I did the same with my horribly aged sneakers, like the soles were coming off and Mom finally made me stop wearing them, ha. Are there any ways in which you greatly differ from everyone else in your family? I do fucking nothing and am useless to society. Should teenagers be allowed to have their cell phones with them in class? Yes, because emergencies happen. I personally think it's best to maybe have your cell phone flipped over on the corner of your desk or something and on vibrate, that way the noise isn't too disruptive and the teacher can see you're not just using it for other purposes. Do you have any gay relatives? Yes. Have you ever had to have a pet put down? Sigh, multiple. Have you unfollowed, deleted, or blocked anyone on social media recently? If so, what was the reason? Not recently. How many cups of coffee do you typically drink per day? None. Do you know what your vocal range is? No, but it's not very broad. Whatâs the biggest financial mistake youâve ever made? I haven't been in this position before. Have you ever been in a relationship where there was a large difference in maturity levels? No. Whatâs the longest youâve ever stayed as a guest at someoneâs house? I wanna say over a month while we were technically homeless. How bad was your acne when you were a teenager? Oh dear, it was rough. Like there were people who had it worse than me, but ya girl was lookin preeeetty rough lmao.
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