#i need to get back to my usual writing
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hello! i've written a short little machete fic, and i wanted to share it with you as thanks for all the incredible art and generous question-answering you've been doing these last few months. i hope that if you give it a look, you enjoy it. <3 keep up all your amazing work! archiveofourown [.] org / works / 50945128
✦ A Voi ✦
#wake up honey new fic dropped#feeling blessed#eating this out of your hands like a baby deer#it's so good you guys treat my lads so well#and write so beautifully and vividly and eloquently#I rambled about this in length in the fic's comment section so I won't repeat myself too much here#but in this one Machete has a little breakdown and gets lovingly bathed like the sad and stunned dog he is#really captured his neuroticism and endless uneasiness#excellent Vittorio content augh I adore him#I'll definitely come back to this later and draw proper actual fanart because some of the scenes are so thematically and visually strong#I need to be able to see them with my actual eyes#dangit I forgot the cut on his lip#had a minor crisis over the color of Machete's robe but maybe it'd be white like the rest of his sleepwear#as a contrast to the usual blacks and reds#fic A Voi#doomcountry#own art#own characters#Machete#CanisAlbus#blood#I said this before and I say it again#if you read the thing and like it it would be very kind and appreciated if you left a small comment to doomcountry as a thank you#you don't need an ao3 account and you can do it anonymously
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The first time disciple Shen Yuan/Shen Qingqiu meets Liu Qingge, it is during a Bai Zhan peak raid. And what ends up happening is that Shen Qingqiu gets kicked in the jaw with such force he feels his teeth clack together unpleasantly. And frustrated with his situation, the system, and quite frankly a ton of other little things that have been building up over the course of the last few weeks, he feels something snap in the back of his mind like that of a rubber band after being stretched too far.
What ends up happening is that Shen Qingqiu turns and locks onto the very first figure he can see that is dressed in grey-and-white like a homing missile, and then with the force of a twin-tailed mountain tiger, lunges towards said figure with an equally menacing snarl.
He ends up taking the Bai Zhan peak disciple by utter surprise, and they both collide into the ground in a tangle of angry yelling and limbs. What ends up happening is that Liu Qingge gets the subsequent wind knocked out of him and pinned into the dirt by a Qing Jing peak disciple who is filled with the might and fury of a scholar having their peaceful afternoon interrupted and a once-grown-man re-experiencing puberty.
It is with that might and fury that Liu Qingge meets the wild, frenzied eyes of Shen Qingqiu, with his lips pulled back into a truly ferocious scowl. Shen Qingqiu hisses out, with such force it makes his voice rasp, as if he might as well sink his teeth into Liu Qingge's throat and rip it out; "Get the fuck off my mountain."
Liu Qingge is so shocked by -- well, quite a many things, but most importantly the fact that he has been pinned, and the way the sun is bouncing off this boy's face, -- that his brain needs five seconds to reboot. It's five seconds too long, because by the time he registers what just happened, Shen Yuan has clambered off him and disappeared. Gone and thrown himself into the closest dust cloud scuffling in order to unleash the rest of his fury on the other Bai Zhan Peak kids.
Qing Jing Peak experiences an unfortunate uptick in Bai Zhan disciple visits -- specifically of the Liu Qingge variety. Specifically Liu Qingge, actually. Who very much wants to find the boy that managed to get one over on him and demand a rematch. (Or maybe kiss him.)
#*stares at sy* i still think he deserves to go a little feral. as a treat. like. just a small snapping. not a big one. just a lil one#svsss#scum villain#scum villain self saving system#svsss au#shen qingqiu#liushen#shen yuan#he has a lot of restraint. lets break it! *said in the same tone as that angsty teenager ai voice from sister location*#me: do i call him shen yuan or shen qingqiu??? he is technically sqq but a lot of the disciple aus i see call him shen yuan....#me: fuck it i'm sticking with SQQ. they're both technically the same thing as far as im aware#this idea sprang into my mind like the mulan hun daisies. and i felt the need to write it down. this is so going in my disciple sy fic#shen yuan has a lot of restraint :) what better way to let loose all that pent up aggression than a bai zhan peak raid! he's kinda looking#forward to the next one. that was actually pretty cathartic. :) BZP disciples feel a sudden shiver crawling down their backs#the increase of bai zhan visits qian cao peak gets from bite-related injuries is in no way related to this decision. none at all.#sqq covered in bruises and scrapes: woo! that was actually kinda cathartic. i feel much better now after that. and a little guilty#meanwhile lqg: *going through a gay awakening* i.-- ??? boys? ???? boy? boy. mhm.#sqq usually avoids getting swept into fights during BZP raids. not this time! and now bzp is going to Pay For It Dearly.
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If nothing else Koenma is a Kuwabara stan and I'm right there with him o7 (I need to write the kuwameshi fic that goes with this fr)
#maybe one day i'll write that au i have sitting in my head#ever since the comment he made about making kuwa spirit detective instead ive been thinking about it#like...what if yusuke is still recruited same as canon but like#kuwa was already spirit detective? doing assignments for the guys upstairs and all#and they made yusuke help him after his resurrection instead of going solo#and it's hilarious because they still have the ''rivalry'' set in place so it's like#now i gotta be coworkers with this guy i was in a fist fight with last week?#yusuke is like you can't be serious you want me to fight DEMONS with the guy who cant even beat ME? lmaooo okay#kuwa would be more in tune with his powers atp in this au and super offended like hello#why would i use my reiki on a FELLOW HUMAN CHILD you DICK i can hold my own on my assignments just fine#but he's actually really excited to be able to spend time with yusuke doing something besides getting his ass handed to him#they're both genkai's students (she's endlessly annoyed but they grow on her)#i just think it'd be fun cos like#it'd be harder to exclude kazuma from shit if he's literally been involved in this shit before he even met#kurama and hiei#kuwabara isn't really told about yusuke's resurrection so things go mostly the same up til he's brought back#they're both called to koenma's office and it's the spiderman pointing meme 💀#it's koenma's first time seeing kuwa in person as he usually just sends assignments with botan#yusuke has already seen him cos of the resurrection arc#and koenma is SUCH a fanboy ''kuwabara it's such a pleasure. you know you're my best worker 🥺''#''um urameshi am i seeing things or is that a fuckin baby'' yusuke will NOT stop laughing#it fucks koenma up so bad he makes sure he's in his adult form when he's around kuwa next#cos he wants to be the respected boss but also guy that you can chill with!! he's so cringe#okay yeah i need to write this it's such a fun concept#kuwameshi#yu yu hakusho#kuwabara kazuma#yusuke urameshi#koenma
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sorry to be a bit of a hater but i do wish youtubers weren't so scared of making their videos just like, "reviews", whys everything gotta be a "video essay" all the time. every day my recommendations are filled with 40 minute videos titled "_____: An Underrated Masterpiece" where the first like five minutes are reading the wikipedia definition of "masterpiece" in a somber voice with dramatic themed text on screen. please just tell me how good or bad you think something is and use the rest of the runtime to explain why. you dont need to put on all these airs
#i know the ahem. channel. of some awe....... that whole situation kind of scared people off from using the word review#but like we live in the future now. you can make a review. i believe in you#AND LIKE i like a good video essay!! but im picky. because i read academic shit for fun#when i see a capital E essay im expecting theses. im expecting sub headers. im expecting multiple examples AND footnotes with asides#(and i know this is a controversial topic but i do expect them to be long. because if you read aloud a 4 page journal article its gonna)#(take a bit of time LOL maybe i just read too much academia shit. but i dunno man. theres not a lot you can say about like a big huge)#(topic with multiple angles if you only have like 10 minutes. maybe i just talk too slow. i need to breath <3 )#theres other formats too. surveys. retrospectives. informative essays. persuasive essays. etc#and like i also read lots of reviews not just of like movies and books but of like gallery exhibitions and shit!! they can be extremely#interesting a lot of work and some really beautiful writing!! nothing wrong with a review!!! theyre important#but i do get annoyed with like. the odd air of pretention i see in a lot of video essays. especially cause its usually not backed up by#the content. i dont care for those airs in academia either. nor do i like it in documentaries#just talk naturally. you'll find your voice. there might be pretention in it in the end but it'll be yours#if im making sense. i hear a lot of people talking in a pretention that is not their own. something they put on because thats what they#think they should do. you need to find your own pretention. be pretentious in a way that feels natural to youuuuuu#hell im being pretentious. about this LOL but like its my own. it is a pretentiousness ive built over the past half decade#play around. write a blog. i dunno. find your voice dear youtubers. find your voice
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heehee (pepstavo under the cut)
#arts#mine#saucy#pepstavo#easing everyone in w the cute shit first#can u believe i forgot about this???? CAN U BELIEVE IT ???#this is like one of the first things i drew back in like April i think#i still love it tho#recently i have been drawing them doing some heehee shit instead of the cutesy shit so i need this to stay humble#remember my roots…#anyway if ur still reading this hooray u get bonus stuff like usual w my tags#giving him a huge praise kink. he is doing SUCH a good job he is doing the best job EVER#this would be a bit further in their relationship (pending™️) where the intimacy walls are slowly being worn down#so hes seeking out touch and affection and all that goodness instead of reflexively flinching away#and gus SEES this so hes trying so hard to encourage him like BLEASE….i did not dick around for months for this to NOT pay off#he is a patient man but theres only so much patience one Can have#and that patience IS rewarded#its funny bc i write gus as like. a top. a general Dom bc he is both patient and assertive#and hes met someone he GENUINELY w his WHOLE chest wants to bottom for and he cant do it bc this bigass dude is a lil princess™️#and so for now he is being the big boy but hes like counting down in his head when theyre able to get to a space comfy enough for him#where he gets to get his back blown out (its soon)#i hope that doesnt make it seem like hes only being nice to get dicked down bc he is actually always this nice#and full of love bursting at the seams#which results in endless praise and pdas and being a bit more playful than usual (bc he is a silly lil joyous gnome; its built in his dna)#so peppino will simply have this forever :)#okay mwah#i will slowly upload my stuffs since twitter is exploding and anyone who isnt niceys about this will be obliterated#like for reals
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I know I said I wanted to do Loveit Mappi (and I still plan on it!) but it was indulgent Fuuta art that finally broke my art block so. Ver with mv references, and under the cut one with Loveit/Salamander lyrics🍴
#milgram#fuuta kajiyama#lmk if i need to tag anything#i was worried it was cringe and wasnt planning on posting it#but it came out better than i was expecting and im a simple creature who gets excited and wanted to share ;----;#ive been obsessing over the song and him ofc so they came together#something about salamander being a food song and he and kujima missing the same eye#im usually not into Eating Him metaphors but like i said this song has had its hold on me and i just wanted to draw something#its actually more likely that ill go back to writing when i have free time this week - but i was relieved to finally make some progress on#any art after struggling for so long with my wips#*sees those posts of fuuta in the blender/hydraulic press and goes Noooooooooo don't be mean to him!!! D':*#*posts this*
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boy in silly sitting positions compilation
#cats#I especially like the last one where he just has one single paw poking out of that box for some reason lol#I still have costumes to post and like a billion other things.... grr... constantly failing at staying active on social media aughh#I think because currently my Main Focus is on trying to get my game done and stuff.. which basically just means sitting and writing all day#so there's not much to post about. Though I know the Good At Social Media thing to do would be to post about the#writing and share progress and talk about the game and characters or whatever to try to build interest or something but that is SOOO weird#to me.. I could maybe get it if it was like a tiny tiny discord groupchat of playtesters with like 5 people in#it.. But something about talking openly about things before they happen is weird to me?? Like presumptuous feeling or something#''oooo guess whats gonna happen LATER!!!'' like.. how do you know.. what if it doesnt. what if you dont finish it. what if its not the way#you think it's going to be. what if something changes. etc. Like I literally avoid movie trailers and game trailers for the same reason ghj#Even if it's not ME doing it it just feels... weird.. Maybe it has to do with my OCD and how I just don't like talking about ''future''#things in Certain Terms. Like if I was going to say ''Oh yeah sure. come over to my house in a few months''. I would have to follow it up#with like ''HOPEFULLY you can come over to my house in a few months'' or 'They'll come over in a few months MOST LIKELY''. Because just#stating that something will happen matter of factly takes for granted like.. what if somehting horrible happens and I DONT have a house#in a few months? or what if something bad happens to me. or to the person coming over? I can't ever DEFINITELY say with 100% certainty#that one could ACTUALLY come to my house in a few months. anything could change. So I have to allot for that in my phrasing. hbjjkn#There are a lot of situations where you're expected to just Assume Things but for some reason that bothers me. My brain literally does not#even Assume the most basic things.. like how do *I* know that just because it's someones birthday that they want to be wished a happy#birthday? what if they dont? everyone is different and has different preferences. I should check with them first. or wait until they public#ly announce that theyre accepting birthday wishes. I have to allot for all 5034859069 rare possibilities at any given time and never take#anything for certain. etc. ghjbjhbh.... ANYWAY.. I have been feeling a bit sick lately as usual.. but still slowly making progress on some#things. Moslty I need to edit costume photos. make sculptures. and work on the game. Going back reading some of the old writing from like#2018 and suprisingly I don't have to change that much of it? In fact I like it mostly. so that's good. I would be very interested if I were#playing the game myself. Though that doesnt mean much since my tastes are so niche lol..#Still really want to clear some of my million tumblr drafts as well... alas and aughh and ooughh and so on and so forth. Between all of my#evil appointments other such things...why cant I have one billion dollar to retire into relaxed hermit artist life of no stressors.. bleas
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I always enjoy it when people come up to me while im drawing as long as they're nice about it, and especially kids. And while the last two weeks only seemed to have obnoxious parents (at one point a kid was pointing like 'i want to be able to that!' and their parent replied 'you can't' and i was like ???? Wtf), this week there was a mom and two daughters who were really interested in art and were standing behind me while i sketched for a long while. Neither of the girls could have been much older than 10, and they were super shy, and were asking their mom questions, and i answered one of the questions. And the mom laughed and said 'see, she can hear you, don't be afraid to ask her questions!' and then i turned around and introduced myself a little and explained what i was drawing. And then they just stood and quietly watched me draw for like ten minutes, it was so sweet. 🥹
#Freebooter4ever#Also like....whenever im drawing im usually eavesdropping on various conversations around me#Adults are the funniest to listen to#Kids are mostly running around#And thinking about that lol...i realized what a weird child i was#When from the age of 6 i started going with my grandma to the kubota gardens in seattle#and we would sit and calmly draw or write for hours instead of me needing constant entertainment#I had a moment when i realized that if i had kids there would be no way to know if they would like drawing or if they would#Even be as quiet and calm as i was back then#Its not like i have not thought about having kids and how that would mean my time and choices would no longer be my own#But as i get more and more wistful over wanting kids#I catch myself thinking about stuff like this and realizing ok with a small child i probably wouldnt be able to do this anymore#And then i try to genuinely analyze whether or not i would be willing to give up whatever it is#And to my surprise the answer is usually yes#I find that im not thinking about it in terms of giving things up which is how society or advice books seem to paint it as#But rather adjusting to fit in a different kind of joy#I dunno ignore me im getting sappy over kids again
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If you're waiting for a reply from me, I'm really sorry for the wait! I have most of them written in drafts, but I'm holding on to all of them except the resonance thread (Resi is a fickle muse sometimes and I don't want to lose him while he's working with me) because I'm trying to get some artwork done for commissions and gifts!! I plan to release threads come Friday, but i really appreciate the patience! ^^
#i promise i'm still interested in writing with everyone! I know i don't gotta explain myself#but. alas. My special interest is writing. And I cannot draw if I Owe Replies because my brain simply won't let me#so i write them and then hold them until i've made the progress i need to and then i get to release them as a treat#So thank you everyone who doesn't mind waiting!! I'm giving you smooches on the cheeks if you want them!!#and i'm SO excited to continue so many of these threads <3#tristan rambles#update#I WILL happily answer DMs/IMs or asks though! since they're usually not anything i can't set aside while working and get back to when i can
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kuukou encourages and believes in jyushi’s strength while firmly believing that he’s a weak person. if kuukou is having a bit of a rough time forgiving himself for past mistakes while telling hitoya that he needs to move on from his past weighing him down in harmonious cooperation, then i hope with every fibre of my being that this is going to be something jyushi and hitoya are actively saving kuukou from (from himself lol)
#vee queued to fill the void#*falls to my knees* oh godDAMN it’s been a long ass time since i thought that kuukou often doesn’t practice what he preaches holy shit#i am once again begging for kr to make me and kuukou MISERABLE in the upcoming bat track lmao#if you keep writing kuukou with these fcking cycles you have to circle back to them PLS PLS PLS PLS PLSSSSSSSSSSS#I NEED KUUKOU TO ONCE AGAIN BE IN THE RIGHT BUT GOING ABOUT IT IN THE WRONG WAY AND EVEN MORE TO HIS DETRIMENT#AND FOR JYUSHI AND HITOYA TO BREAK THE CYCLE AND STOP HIM#BREAK THE CYCLE OF HIS SUFFERING JYUSHI AND HITOYA THE CONCEPTS KUUKOU TALKS ABOUT KEEP CIRCLING BACK AROUND AND HE KEEPS GOING THRU IT#IF YOU BREAK THE CYCLE OF SUFFERING AND KARMA YOU ATTAIN ENLIGHTENMENT#AND WOULD IT NOT BE THE FINEST POETRY 🗣️👏👏👏 IF KUUKOU FOUND NIRVANA WITH HIS TEAM BRO#🗣️👏👏👏 AFTER PROMISING TO DO JUST THAT IN FOR THEM IN HARMONIOUS COOPERATION#THIS IS WHAT I MEAN ABOUT KUUKOUS KARMA HIS INTENTIONS ARE USUALLY GOOD AND THATS WHY HE GETS REWARDED FOR THEM IN THE FORM OF BEING SAVED#KARMA IS DEFINED AS THE INTENT GOOD OR BAD THAT INFLUENCES FUTURE CONSEQUENCES GOOD OR BAD#HE WANTED TO SAVE REN AND HITOYA SAVED HIM FROM UNJUST PUNISHMENT#HE WANTED TO SAVE UNAMI AND HE WAS REWARDED FOR IT BY ICHIRO SAVING HIM FROM HARM#HE WANTED TO SAVE JYUSHI AND HITOYA FROM THEMSELVES SO!!!!!!!! IN TURN!!!!!!!!!! PLS KR!!!!!!!!#LET JYUSHI AND HITOYA SAVE KUUKOU FROM HARMING HIMSELF!!!!!!!!!!!
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back on my bullshit (meeting men im in love with). Ben Schwartz is so kind and tall :-) I didn’t totally freeze like when I met the Jonas brothers but the selfies we took are blurry so 😔
(at least I have these bc I told sam to record the whole thing heheheh)
#also the show was great#I had to slap sam many times bc she was choking from laughter#ben schwartz#bro how did i forget my personal tag for ben#ben schwartz my beloved#me#also forgot me tag#editing tags after the fact to recount the entire experience#so we waited outside for about 10 minutes and I had no expectation of how long it usually takes for him to come out and take pictures#he comes out without a mask which is surprising to me and says ‘you guys wanna take some pictures?’#we all just kinda form a non sensical blob (there’s maybe like 10 ppl total) around him#Brandon Katie and Eugene hang back towards the stage door unsure if anyone wants to chat with them#I’m gushing over how tall and handsome Ben is to my sister who is ready to record our interaction once he gets to me#as I listen to him chatting with the other fans I can’t help but smile and say to my sibling ‘he’s so sweet’ every minute#he meets someone who has a cool sketchbook of the skits from the show that he wants to take a picture of#but they need to write their handle so he says he’ll talk with some others and get back to them#so he does and then later I see the girl ready to talk to him again off to the side#so I tell her ‘you can go ahead and finish talking to him”’ and she’s like ‘are you sure?’ and I’m like duh!#finally it’s my turn and he looks at me and says ‘hi I’m Ben’#yes Benjamin Joseph Schwartz I know#he sees me holding my phone and immediately sides steps to get into selfie mode as I ask him if he’ll sign my Jean Ralphio figure#he steps back to Be in front of me ‘yes of course!’#what insane media training he has#he says ‘I’ve seen this! this is the first one I’ve ever signed’#upon seeing the figure he says ‘it’s beautiful’ lol#he’s concerned that the sharpie I brought will not show up and I mention that it was probably a bad one to bring because it’s pastel#he signs and holds it up (as you can see in the first photo) to make sure it’s visible#he hands it back to me and I thank him and he says ‘do you want to take a picture?’#and I say ‘I would love to!’ and then I hold the Jean Ralphio figure and he looks to my sibling assuming she’s taking the picture#she’s like ‘no I’m just here for moral support!’
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spent the first hour and change at work deleting some old files and am having a grand ol time laughing at myself for not realizing i was a lesbian sooner
#vulnerable tag rambles ahead please be kind abt them i didnt intent to ramble this much but i dont wanna delete it eitehr#me to every single man i have ever dated after 6mo-1y: yeah hey this really isnt working out i dont really know why but i really hate mysel#and i dont want to blame you because i dont think you did anything inherently wrong here; i think this is something about me but i need#space to figure out why im feeling this way [every single one reacted by telling me No i wasnt allowed to leave btw]#i hold very complex feelings about these relationships esp bc of them ending in very violent/chaotic ways most of the time#but its interesting to look back at it all and realize ive left every man for the same reason (which is that ive hated myself Every Single#Time ive dated a man) and its funny bc i recognized the self hate pretty early on w/ cishet men but when it came to queer men it was#much more confusing (esp w/ nto knowing Any lesbians at that point in my life). im so happy im a lesbian tbh#i have a lot of issues w/ the racism fatphobia and transmisogyny present in lesbian groups#and also coming out as a lesbian really truly saved my life. before i met my wife i was quite literally in a 3yr abusive relationship that#definitely would have died in if i hadnt realzied i was a lesbian and ran from him#its also weird seeing liek the hard evidence of the things that happened to me btween 2016-2020 tbh#cause that was such a bad time of my life. i truly dont know how i survived it but im so glad i did#like the three major relationships in my life b4 meeting my wife was: guy who was in college when i was in HS who stalked me when i left;#guy who was a year younger than me who cheated on me the entire time while telling me he was being victimized (he wasnt; this was very mess#guy who saw the very messy toxic ldr i was in and helped me dump my ex then decided that meant we were in a relationship [insert 3 yrs here#and admittedly all 3 years with him werent the same level of abusive but it was definitely unhealthy from the start considering I Didnt Kno#we were together until he wanted to celebrate vday and got mad i didnt know our anniversary - and like this isnt including the other stuff#that happened between those Relatonships[tm] (cause ive never been monogamous; these were just the Major Relationships)#like i genuinely think if i hadnt come out i'd be dead rn given just how dangerous my relationships were/continued getting#i am also so tired now that ive seen all this cause like. fuck i can barely believe it and i not only lived it but have PTSD about it#i should write about my life sometime. i feel like it'd be cathartic to try and make a tangible timeline and stories from the years ang stu#anyway yeah. be nice about the tag rambles. dont message me with pity or curiosity or anything about this. i dont usually talk abt this stu#publicly bc i hate the ways ppl start tryign to baby me when they realize my life has been extremely fucked up until only a few years ago#n im still working on accepting kindness from others bc of [insert life traumas here] but its a long process so pls respect my need for jus#being heard rn w/o too much pressure< 3 (but ig if u do read this can u like it cause i feel a little crazy seeing all the evidence of the#stuff i experienced now also cause fuck ik logically it was but also i cant believe it was all real still yk)
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#solrock#now *this* is the fucker that the one raid battle NPC had in swsh that everyone hated. including me. he served only to remove lives#fuckin mashing the rock polish button the whole time or whatever it was. doing Nothing Else. i feel like a lot of people who usually did#raids offline had that fucker's name and face memorized. cuz they'd see that they got him and just give up right then and there#at a certain point i feel like offline raids were just not very viable. the NPCs they'd give you to battle with were just so bad#and some of the higher star raids you really needed the extra firepower you just couldn't get from those NPCs#but also they kinda removed a lot of the incentive for joining other people's raids considering your catch chance was lowered by like 9000%#if you weren't the host of the raid. and if you were the host the percentage chance was so high it was basically guaranteed#i don't think i ever ONCE caught a pokémon successfully when i'd joined someone else's raid. and i don't think i ever once failed to catch a#pokémon when i was the host of the raid. it's just. i dunno! i stopped doing raids at a certain point. some people can get a pokémon game#and play it long long after the main story bc they get invested in raids and shit but i just lose interest at a certain point unfortunately#as much as i enjoy the game while i'm initially playing through it#hff. anyway. i'm queueing this up the morning of june 30th‚ aka the day of my first flight in 10 years. so. this won't post until mid july#and i'll have been back for a while by then but for right now‚ me writing these tags‚ i am very Anxious#saur. haha. y'know how it is. have solrock
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a friend who'd wait :)
#im posting this very late because i was sort of weary of how it came out and ended up messing w it until it was like 4am oops.#and i have plans tmrw so... oh well! i did my best and ill put it out while i can!#and i tried to make the scene match barnard's colors lol#finn's ocs#finn's art#i know i said id do more sillay stuff with the simpler screentone only style but i had a couple more of these in me#and this is the first piece im making thats like an actual part of the story too rather than just setting stuff for fun#i wanna write something to go with it too but for now ill just sort of briefly explain the context in the tags here:#barnard has a pretty bad case of OCD and his compulsions have made it difficult to make friends in the past#he was never outright bullied or anything but people just didnt really have the patience to deal with it#he has compulsions that include stuff like walking through doors until it feels right and needing things to be perfectly aligned#which in group settings has lead to people having to wait for him to finish his rituals and join them#they might find it tolerable at first but eventually they grow impatient and hes just... not invited to stuff anymore#but juno is a newer member of the guild who ends up frequenting the same library. hes also kinda a little weird#and they dont become fast friends or anything but just sort of naturally spend time in the same place#though they never plan meetups they eventually fall into a routine. around the same time theyd just both be at the library#and read next to each other. and maybe talk a bit. and eventually they end up walking back to the guildhall together#since theyre going to the same place after all. and juno always waits for barnard outside the door#eventually barnard asks if this bothers him. juno kinda just tells him 'of course it does' without any malice or anything. just a statement#barnard is surprised and apologizes and juno says not to. but the next day juno doesnt show up at the usual time.#barnard assumes hes committed somekinda more by bringing it up. he ends up staying there late reading to get his mind off it & not ruminate#but when he leaves juno is in fact still waiting for him down the hall (see pic) having collected a bunch of books literally abt ocd#he fell asleep bc barnard stayed later than expected. and hes an eepy guy generally. and also one very bad at expressing himself#but now barnard gets that juno's 'of course it [bothers me]' had the implication of 'but its worth it' which no friend has previously done.#and from the interaction juno was also able to understand that this isn't something barnard just does for the hell of it so. he studies.#and checks a bunch of stuff out because he thinks it could help his friend too (theres ocd workbooks and such- i remember working w them)#and thats the point where they became more ''friends'' than ''pleasant library acquaintances''#from there on they also do get into juno's problems. whole other bag of worms. but this specific scene is more about bernard from his pov#sorry about when i said briefly explain. i lied </3#but compared to the whole sequence im picturing its brief so shhh
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MCFLY JULY ‘24 ⸺ 「 24 / 31 * OUT IN THE DESERT 」
January—March 1943
From the moment he’d been visited at the university by Oppenheimer with Groves in tow, the latter a looming, intimidating presence towering over him in his uniform compared to the amicable and even friendly disposition of Oppenheimer, he’d felt the cold bite of the Sword of Damocles pressed against his neck, digging deeper and deeper with each day he’d been left in purgatory, waiting.
He feared he’d lose his head before ever hearing the official outcome of his new employment.
When one of his colleagues had approached him about a week and a half after their departure, informing him that he’d received a call from the FBI asking some questions about him, Emmett’s heart stopped then and there and he was absolutely positive he’d seen the moment his head was severed from his neck, rolling down the hallway.
Twenty long seconds later, when his senses had returned to him, he learned that the sensation was just dizziness and he was still firmly intact.
Three weeks later, the hell had ended. To say his official acceptance onto the project was a weight off his shoulders would be an understatement. Emmett breathed a long sigh of relief, nearly giddy with the excitement that he’d come through the process relatively unscathed; his frayed nerves were the only real casualty of his stint in purgatory.
Why the outcome should have been anything other than this, he couldn’t say, but that didn’t stop his mind, already having latched onto the mystery and thrilling scientific intrigue that Oppenheimer had offered, from conjuring up the what-if possibilities while unseen hands manipulated the course of his life. He’d never been in legal trouble, no criminal record, his father was an incredibly prominent and well-respected, if feared and disliked, member of the community, and his academic achievements had been exceptional.
But now it was official and the part that should have been the most daunting brought him the most joy. Two months was more than enough time to wrap up his affairs in California nicely.
His courses at the university would be discontinued and his students would be disseminated out into the other professors’ courses. The small home he’d been provided here would go back to the university and whatever he deemed unimportant to take with him to New Mexico would be discarded. The head of the department wished him well, and after a brief exchange steeped in rumour and hearsay, he’d left, returning home to pack up the last of his things.
How fascinating that an entire life could be stuffed in a couple travel bags.
—
When Emmett returns to Hill Valley, tugging the last twenty-three years of his life up the pathway to the mansion he hadn’t seen in almost five years, it is his mother’s joyful cries that greet him, her hands that all but pull him through the door, and her voice that fills the living room as she sits down, harmonising with the song of time played by his favourite Grandfather Clock.
Emmett, the doctor. Emmett, the scientist. Emmett, her son, doing his part for his country, whatever that meant, because it was secret, secret, secret—all so very secret all he could say was “I can’t talk about it but I have to travel to get there”—and while she looked ten years younger, radiant with motherly pride, his father scoffed and harrumphed, making his opinion known in no uncertain terms.
You would’ve done better for the war as a soldier, not some damned-fool scientist.
‘But at least maybe you’ll have a chance to be useful. Do something good.’
This time, his father’s barbs do not sting. They strike at him from all angles, jabbing at his skin but never piercing, and he lets them fall to the ground at his feet, unwilling to have this argument again, as they did for so many long nights in his youth. With the prospect of unforetold scientific progress right there at his fingertips, he could find it in himself to forgive his father without a fight. He didn’t understand. He wouldn’t let him spoil this.
Science—science was the future. And they would see.
His departure comes as quick as his arrival, his mother asking when he thinks he’ll be back in California.
“Soon,” he says, unable to give her any definite number, pulling at the hope this project is supposed to bring. “When we’ve won the war.”
Alone, he arranges to have himself and his entire life brought to San Francisco, where he’ll meet the train that carries him to the future.
—
San Francisco to Santa Fe.
Emmett spends most of his time in comfortable silence, watching the touches of humanity upon the land slowly and slowly being stripped away. Pavement gives way to dirt and grass and unsullied earth and the towering buildings of the cities sprout leaves and stretch up to the heavens, basking in the afternoon sunlight.
He remembers the itinerary—cryptic instructions written on a packet of papers shoved into his hands and the explicit instructions to allow nobody else to see the contents of this folder. Emmett doesn’t think he could forget it if he tries, burning a hole in the inner pocket of his overcoat, searing his chest even through his clothes.
More often than not, he tries to imagine the stage that will hold what is supposed to be the greatest scientific advancements of the last three centuries—what we’ll be doing here will be the culmination of the last three centuries of physics. Don’t you want to be a part of that?—I want to take on this challenge—only to imagine something even more fantastical than its predecessor every time he tries.
A fully functioning laboratory and city do not just spring up overnight in the middle of the desert, but Oppenheimer had said it would be ready in time, and Emmett found himself almost immediately assured by that, half-convinced that Nature itself would bend to that man’s charm.
Perhaps, Emmett thinks, a flutter in his stomach equal parts dread and excitement, it just might.
What else would require some of the greatest scientific minds to gather in one remote location under the strictest security imaginable?
The possibilities lull him into a dream-filled sleep.
—
They’re waiting for him there, just as they said. Two large uniformed escorts that Emmett easily has several inches on tower over him, usher him into an ordinary old car—grey, unassuming, rather mundane, actually, but when discretion is key—and expertly fit an entire life into the boot.
As if they’ve done this before.
Clement and Rosario, Lieutenant-Commander and Lieutenant, respectively, as he’s come to learn from the intermittent conversation, were the ones assigned to bring him to the site, get him through security, and make sure everything went off without a hitch.
Emmett watches, his face all but pressed against the window in the back as the landscape overrides the thoughts about this project that have been playing on a loop since he first alighted the train back in California. The desert is beautiful, nothing like the views in the city, and maybe he views the wide open area through the tinted lenses of lingering boyish romanticism for such an environment, but there is a rough, rugged beauty to it all in reality that Emmett is pleased to know for himself is not just a result of the films.
He must have said that out loud, because the younger of the two—or the one Emmett assumes is younger, given the softness still present on his face that looks out of place with the gun strapped to his hip—Rosario, says, “Yeah, isn’t it? Beautiful place out here. Shame we went and ruined it.” Before Emmett can ask what that means, he just says, “You’ll see.”
He does see, almost immediately.
This complex—‘Welcome home, Doc,’ Clement jokes in that gruff voice of his—looks more like a prison dropped in the most remote location they could think of, where they’ll work and torture them until they get what they want or die trying. That fence must be ten feet high, topped with barbed wire, and Emmett wonders how many scientists they know of that are athletic enough to even attempt scaling a wall like that.
They preferred to scale theoretical hurdles, not physical.
The cold feeling of dread slithers up his spine. He dismisses it the moment they reach the security checkpoint, telling himself he’s being foolish—the military is involved; everything with them is cloak-and-dagger.
Processing takes an eternity, and Emmett feels a rush of dizziness he can’t quite explain when a thick set of papers are pressed into his hand, followed by a white identification badge that has immortalised his awkwardness in a frozen snapshot of time.
“Housing information’s on the first page. You’ll get used to the layout. Keep that badge with you at all times, Doctor Brown.”
#mcflyjuly#mcfly july 2024#back to the future#bttf#NATURALLY I HAD TO GO '40S DOC CONTENT MY BELOVED#but not the usual doom and gloom and i decided to do this one in a style different than i usually do#some snapshots of that time starting from his involvement to actually arriving at the hill#because it's so fascinating to me - here's this young twenty-something year old about to sequester himself in the desert#to work on the most important project in history under the military and an incredibly brilliant man#SO I JUST NEEDED TO WRITE IT LIKE THIS#and i wanted to keep writing and i wanted to write all the in-between but#this one is already so long - my longest yet#anyway HERE WE ARE#if doc gets to be in that photo with the main project heads in the delorean owners manual he gets a white id badge and that's just that#also a parallel that i personally adore and that's assuming i remember this correctly#that oppenheimer got his doctorate around twenty-three and i tend to take 1920 as doc's birth year and so that means#that they got their doctorates at the same age and one became the father of the atomic bomb and the other becomes the father of#time-travel . JUST A NEAT THING TO ME IDK LET ME LIVE#as always I didn't proofread a damn thing so it is what it is
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@sinfulsalutations @dystopicjumpsuit Alright, you guys asked for it. @blueink-bluesoul you should be part of this party too
Thank @corrieguards and this post for starting all this
Warnings for: being complete filth, hair pulling, marking, praising, dirty talk, and Tup most definitely NOT being a shy virgin.
EDIT: I posted a full length version of this ficlet, so if you like this, check out the full fic <3
You were fairly certain the sheets were going to rip if you gripped them any tighter.
His lips, his teeth, his tongue, they were working in perfect harmony against your skin. A almost violent moan left your throat when he bit down yet again, another addition to the marks he left across your shoulder and neck, his marks.
"Love it when you moan like that, mesh'la," Tup whispered against the blooming blemish, hot breath fanning over it like a feather light touch. "Love it when I can mark-" he paused and raised his head a little, eyes on the fingers curled into the sheets.
A soft tut tut noise sounded from his tongue.
"Mesh'la," this time, it was almost a scolding, "you know that's not where your hands belong."
Your throat was so dry as you tried to swallow, his words making the ache between your legs pulse. Fingers slowly uncurled from the fabric and reached up to him. With loving care you traced his temple, and tucked some stray curls behind his ear.
Tup closed his eyes, humming at the contact with sensual delight.
Slowly, you started threading fingers through his wonderfully soft locks, letting your nails graze his scalp, and relishing the little moan he let out.
The moan turned to a delighted cry when you grabbed the hair and pulled.
"Yes!" Tup's voice almost cracked as his head snapped back, hips jutting forward as if on instinct, and you hated that your panties got in the way of his already hard cock. His grin was wide, wolfish, even, as he looked down at you through half lidded eyes. "That's my girl," he praised, "so good for me, giving me what I like."
That's when he started moving.
Careful to keep your hands in his hair, Tup started at a teasing pace, lips now trailing down your body. Grazing between the valley of your breasts, nipping over your stomach, and kissing across your hips.
A flash of white teeth met the waistband of your panties, pulled it back, and let it snap against your body with a small slap. Then, he was gazing up at you again, that familiar haze of need and adoration darkening his eyes.
"You gonna hold on tight while I enjoy you?" His tone was just as wicked as his eyes, "Gonna use my hair to take what you want from my mouth?"
"Yes! Maker, yes- Tup, please," you couldn't even care how needy you sounded, not when he was looking at you like that, not when he was telling you to abuse his curls in the filthiest ways.
Tup's fingers hooked your panties and began dragging them down, down. "That's my good girl. Don't forget to use your nails too, love it when I can still feel them on my scalp the next day."
Then those lips and tongue and teeth were diving into your wet cunt. The fingers tangled in his hair did not disappoint him.
#I just poured all this out in one go so sorry if it's not up to my usual standards#I just had to get it out cos Tup NEEDS more smut#pull that man's hair plz#deeja writes#tup x reader#clone trooper tup x reader#Eat It by megan thee stallion blasting in the back ground
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