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omnomnomdomcaps · 2 years ago

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Louder than Words

Yet another remastered story, everyone! And yes, I'm still here. - ONND

***

Ann stared in vain at the screen in front of her, lingering on the clock in the corner. She had told her boss - the firebrand lawyer that she aspired to be like - that she could have her report done by Monday morning, and yet for the past three hours she had accomplished absolutely nothing. It was as if a fog had set over her, and she knew exactly who to blame.

In one furious motion, the diminutive blonde rose from her seat, stomped through her apartment hallway as loudly as her five-foot frame could, stopped, and pointed, as sharply and as angrily as her finger was capable of pointing.

“YOU!” she bellowed, her face bright red.

“Yes?” Richard, her boyfriend, turned in his swivel, utterly unfazed, resting his hands in his lap as he looked up at his fuming visitor.

“Don’t play dumb with me!” the girl bellowed, “Your stupid fucking hypnosis bullshit has been messing with my head all night, and I’ll remind you that I have a lot of work to do.”

“My… stupid hypnosis?” he repeated softly, raising an eyebrow, “But… I thought that hypnosis didn’t do anything?”

“Oh shut up, smartass,” Ann barked, “it doesn’t. But all your yammering on about figuring out the trigger” - she added air quotes as she mocked - “and how revolutionary you seem to think this bullshit is has been giving me a fucking headache, and now I can’t focus on my goddamn work.”

“My oh my,” the man shook his head in his seat, “such rude words. As I said before, I’m quite proud of this new file, and I’m very appreciative that you would let me test it out on you. I just thought you should know that it’s trigger-based, in case that helps you manage it. After twenty-four hours, I’ll be happy to remove it if you just ask, but I need to collect a few observations first.”

“I don’t need you to remove shit,” she snarled, “It doesn’t do anything, and I wish you’d stop wasting your time on it. Just tell me what the stupid trigger is or whatever, so I can focus on more important things. Christ.”

“Oh, but where’s the fun in that?” Richard smiled, “Besides, if the file really isn’t doing anything, then it’d seem to me that you just need a simple distraction. So why don’t you take your mind off work a few minutes, hmmm? Relax a little?”

Ann growled, but eventually released her pointing hand and exhaled. She wasn’t one to admit it, but perhaps, she thought, he was right - a simple distraction was what she needed.

The girl left her boyfriend’s office and made her way to the kitchen, where she quickly came upon some lingering plates and cutlery from the night’s dinner. Once more, she took a deep breath, before taking a sponge and turning on the faucet, immersing herself in a simple, productive task to clear the fog in her head.

And within just a few moments, that fog seemed to start to clear. The girl felt calmer and more at ease, and didn’t even show annoyance when a familiar face came in to join her.

“Aww, thank you!” her boyfriend remarked, “You didn’t have to do that. Maybe I can help?”

“I can handle it myself,” she said without turning, “but thanks.”

Indeed, it seemed she was almost done with the work anyway, only one plate left to scrub off and place into the couple’s dishwasher. But then, that plate slipped from her hands.

In a moment of sudden panic, Ann scrambled to regain a grip on the wide dinner plate, her wet fingers grasping madly at the air over the sink. Finally, she was able to regain a hold, but it came at such an awkward angle that she ended up diverting the full pour of the faucet towards her body, blasting her with such force that she had to drop the ceramic into the basin below.

The plate shattered into pieces, and Ann just stood there, trying to make sense of what had just happened, and what had come of it. She was drenched - the burst of water had reached her face, her t-shirt, and the front of her pants. As her boyfriend stepped calmly in front of her, turning off the sink and beginning to collect the shattered remains of the plate, the girl erupted once again in frustration.

“Fucking seriously!?” she yelled out, “Why the fuck did you have to distract me again? I was finally starting to fucking relax and you had to get up behind me and…”

“Whoa there now,” he gestured, as if trying to rein in a horse, “no need for that kind of hostility. I’ll just take care of the little mess here, and I think you should probably focus on getting yourself cleaned up?”

Again the girl growled, balling up fists as she walked away. Part of her wanted to keep arguing, but she knew there would be nothing to gain. Plus, she knew he was right - she needed to get herself cleaned up. Her shirt was sopping wet, and the stain on her pants had soaked her underwear as well.

As she changed herself out into dry clothes in their bedroom, Richard once again came to join, tapping her ajar door before peering in.

“You gonna be alright changing yourself there, babe? Maybe I should get you something a little more absorbent, in case you have another little mishap?”

“Real funny,” she rolled her eyes, “I can keep my pants dry just fine, as long as someone doesn’t keep distracting me. Now could you please leave me alone?”

“Alright, alright,” he acquiesced, and walked away.

Ann, dressed in a fresh set of clothes, took several deep breaths to try to calm herself down, hoping that she might be able to focus enough to get her work done. But as she stared again into the screen, she found herself again veering away from her task. She played games, watched news, checked social media, and did everything except the thing she was supposed to do, until a familiar feeling finally pulled her away from her seat.

“God fucking damn it,” she muttered under her breath, shaking her head as she walked away from her laptop. She wondered why she had been so ineffective - she’d never been one to struggle so much with writer’s block or procrastination before, and she didn’t really care about the stupid hypnosis trigger, did she?

But then, only a few feet from her chair, Ann felt something strange. The urge that she had, that had started as a simple need for a pee break, seemed to be developing unnaturally, growing stronger and stronger each second. But it had gotten beyond even that.

The girl looked down, unable to believe what she was seeing. There, at the front of her fresh pair of shorts, spots were appearing. They weren’t some burst of desperation, but small, uncontrolled drop, leaking through underwear, and beginning to drip onto the floor.

“Fuck!” She launched into a sprint for the bathroom, but it was already too late. The drops had turned into a full-blown stream, flowing down across the legs of her shorts and forming puddles on the hardwood below, with her muscles unable to stop anything.

She finally did enter the bathroom, but there wasn’t much left for her to do there. She tossed off her ruined shorts and panties - her second such set of the day - and sat half-naked on the toilet bowl, mulling her situation, cursing until her face turned red.

And then, like clockwork, he showed up, carrying a crinkling package in his hand as he waved to his girlfriend from the bathroom’s entrance.

“What the fuck do you want!?” she balked, “And why do you even have that?”

“Occupational hazard,” he chuckled, “different hypnoses affect people in different ways, and sometimes these h-”

“NO!” she pointed, glaring suddenly, “Don’t say that word - that word that rhymes with ‘yelp.’ That’s your fucking trigger word, isn’t it? Isn’t it?”

Richard smiled and shrugged, and then began to answer. “A good g-”

“No!” she cut him off, “You know what? Don’t fucking say anything. Don’t talk to me tonight. Sleep on the fucking couch. Okay?”

The man standing in the hallway nodded, raising his free hand up to gesture for calm. He said nothing.

“But,” Ann went on, her voice turning timid, “could you leave the package here? Thanks.”

Her boyfriend tossed the package towards her before proceeding to walk away once again. Ann, after a few moments, reached to bring it closer to herself, shuddering as she examined the contents.

Diapers. A small, mostly empty bag of thick, adult diapers. Ann wondered if she really needed them, or if she was simply letting Richard’s riddles get in her head. Either way, she figured, it would be easier to just put one on. Tomorrow afternoon, she reminded herself, she would be done with this insanity, free to go back to her normal life. And she would never agree to let that man hypnotize her again.

With a sigh, the girl took a garment from the bag and unfolded it, trying to make sense of front and back. This will be over soon, she reminded herself, and she stood to wrap the diaper around herself. It was an alien feeling, and she winced as she heard the plastic crinkle. Still, it wasn’t all that uncomfortable, and she was able to ease into the sensation as she walked back towards the bedroom, carrying the remainder of the bag in her fingers.

Richard had gone to sleep on their sofa, as requested, and Ann flopped onto their bed alone, thoughts from the previous day racing through her mind. She was too tired to try to do work any longer, and she reminded herself that it would be a waste of time anyway. Within a day, this would all be over, and that thought calmed her as she drifted off peacefully.

****

Some nine hours later, Ann rubbed her tired head as she tried to adjust to the new day. She wasn’t used to sleeping so long, and she certainly wasn’t used to the new sensation between her legs.

“Oh, Christ…” she mumbled, tossing off her blanket and covers to reveal a sopping diaper underneath.

“Good morning, sleepyhead!” Richard waltzed in, a wide smile on his face, “Ready for breakfast?”

“Could you not be so fucking loud?” she whispered, holding the side of her head, “i literally just woke up. Jesus…”

“Oh my,” he said, speaking more softly now, “looks like someone’s had a busy night, huh? I suppose I’ll just leave you to it, then.”

And for a few moments, he did, working away in the kitchen while the girl tried to orient herself. Slowly, Ann was able to untape her worn diaper, wrap it, and toss into their wastebasket, before pulling another from the bag - the last, she quickly realized - and setting it around her hips.

“Need any… assistance there?” Richard chimed in from the kitchen.

“No!” she balked, “I can change myself. I don’t need you using this as an excuse to humiliate me any more.”

“Suit yourself, then.”

This time, however, it seemed the tapes were baffling Ann. Try as she might, she simply couldn’t fix them around her waist, no matter if she was lying down or standing up, no matter how she tried to position her hands.

“Are you sure you don’t need any help?” he finally asked again, peering into the bedroom door.

“I told you not to… ugh…” the girl scowled, crossing her arms and turning her head. “Fine! Go ahead and fucking change me already. I hope you’re happy, asshole.”

“Always!” he answered cheerily, whistling to himself as he fastened the blushing girl’s diaper.

“Y’know,” he said, just as he was finishing the work, “I think I might have to pick up a few things at the mall today. Would you care to join me?”

“Fine,” the girl replied, her head still turned away, a scowl still covering her face, “whatever.”

Breakfast was a silent affair - flapjacks and scrambled eggs, which the girl ate, to her relief, without incident. All the while, her mind continued to race through her current situation, as she struggled to accept the profound effects the hypnosis seemed to have had on her, and wondered how much further it would go before the day was through.

Soon, the two were in the mall lobby, watching Sunday crowds scuttle about around them. Ann had chosen a light blue sundress to wear - the one clean item she had that wouldn’t leave her with an obvious bulge - but she was still highly self-conscious of what was hidden underneath.

“So what did you want to get here?” the girl asked, nervously maintaining her hands at the hem of her dress.

“Well,” he began, “I did notice that package I gave you was running a bit l-”

“Oh my fucking god,” she cut him off, “You fucking asshole. You just brought me out here to buy diapers, didn’t you? You just want to fucking humiliate me, is that it?”

“Now, now,” Richard answered calmly, “no need to make a fuss. Yes, I may have needed to pick up a few of those, but I’m also happy to go shop for anything you like. My treat - it’s my way of thanking you for -” he paused and grinned, anticipating her grimace at his next word, “helping me with this project.”

Ann’s face turned red as she clenched her teeth. She wanted to scream that this was some trap, but she fought against the urge, not wanting to call attention to herself in this state. Plus, if he was being honest, this could be a chance for her to salvage her situation with a bit of material compensation.

And so, the girl led her boyfriend without a word to an upscale clothing outlet, handing him a basket to carry. For the next hour, she would fill it with anything that caught her eye, smiling gleefully as she snatched up the most extravagant items in the store. And Richard, for his part, said nothing.

That was, until he heard the girl’s stomach emit a familiar rumble.

“Uh oh…” he teased, “looks like someone’s gotta go.”

“It’s fine,” Ann rolled her eyes, “I can wait. I’d rather not deal with a public bathroom right now.” And with that, she went back to picking clothes, as her boyfriend shrugged silently and averted his gaze with a whistle.

It was only a few moments later, though, that a sudden and powerful cramp struck the girl, causing her to nearly drop the dress she was holding. With wide eyes and blush cheeks, the girl looked nervously around before admitting a change of heart.

“Berightback,” she blurted, and she darted off into the mall. And after putting their overflowing basket aside, her boyfriend ran after.

For a moment, Ann stopped and turned. “Don’t follow me!” she yelled, “I don’t need your fucking help, okay? I - I - oh god…”

The second cramp that hit, it seemed, was far more forceful than the first. There, in the mall’s corridor, Ann grunted as she felt her body pushing and pushing, a massive, mushy mess filling the back of her diaper.

She wanted to cry.

“There there, sweetie,” Richard said softly, “it’s okay. Why don’t we just make a quick run to the pharmacy, and then we’ll be off home and get you nice and clean, ‘kay?”

“You…” she grimaced, but she held back. Don’t make a scene here, she told herself, not here.

And so she went along, swallowing her tongue and her pride as he took her by the hand over to the mall’s small drugstore. But against his word, Richard seemed to be taking his sweet time, whistling as he carefully looked through the packages in the diaper aisle, before settling on one he liked.

“Oooh, this is perfect! A nice big package for you. Can you read how many diapies are in here?”

“Fuck off,” the girl whispered through gritted teeth, “I can read fine, asshole.”

“Oh?” the man countered with a condescending smile, “Go on, then.”

Fuming through her nose as she tried to contain her rage, the girl let her eyes drift to the package, finding nothing but incomprehensible symbols on it. Then, those eyes began to dart around the aisle, finding only the same on every other package and sign. And when she realized what it all meant, Ann snapped.

“WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO ME?” she yelled, stomping her foot against the store rug, “WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO ME??”

“Now now, sweetie,” Richard smiled, putting aside the package he was holding, “there’s no need for that kind of language. Don’t forget we’re in a store now.”

“Fuck you,” the girl retorted, her face beet red as she landed another stomp on the floor, “Fuck you fuck you fu-”

In an instant, the girl found herself looking down at the floor, positioned with her full diaper facing up over her boyfriend’s knee.

“Tsk tsk tsk” he shook his head, stern but calm, “How many times did I warn you?”

*SMACK*

“Little girls like you shouldn’t be using such foul language.”

*SMACK*

“And now, this is what you get.”

*SMACK*

“Is that clear?”

Ann nodded behind watering eyes as she was let down onto her feet, her hand reaching to support her sore bottom as she winced at the sticky mess that had been pressed against it.

She would be silent for the rest of their mall trip, hiding her face behind her hands as her boyfriend checked out the new package of diapers, and looking away as they drove home. It was almost over, she told herself, remembering that there were only a few hours left before the day was up. This nightmare is almost over.

That only made it more shocking, however, when he led her back into their apartment to reveal what was once his office, redone completely into a full, adult-sized nursery, complete with a giant crib, soft pink-colored walls with infantile decorations, and a changing mat, onto which she found herself being placed.

“I hope you don’t mind,” he smiled, “I did a little redecorating while you were asleep last night. Thought you mind need this.”

“What the fuck,” the girl seethed, preparing to burst once more, “You fucking psycho…”

“Now, now,” he chided, “what did we say about naughty words?”

“I can say whatever the fuck I want!”

“Can you, now?”

The girl was ready to go off once more, but she was interrupted by a strange feeling. Her tongue, it seemed, was lost in her mouth, and all of the sounds she wanted to make seemed impossible.

“Ga…” she mustered, “ba… da…” but she simply couldn’t formulate a word.

“Oh, too bad,” Richard commented, unable to fully hide his chuckle at the girl’s state, “Seems like someone’s lost her train of thought. And it’s such a shame, because I’m sure you really wanted to ask for me to undo this hypnosis.

“But that’s not going to happen now, because you went and said those words again - I can. So sad, really - you could have probably figured it out when you were still smart enough, but instead you went and insulted me and my work, thinking you were so much better than all of it.

“I guess it can’t be helped. I guess that’s just the girl you are - or at least, the one you were. Thinking you were better than everyone else, thinking you could do anything. And that’s exactly why I had to teach you this lesson.”

Ann lay in wide-eyed shock as she soaked in the revelation. Her mind raced as she tried to find a way out, a way to escape being this oversized baby, unable to speak a word, being changed out of a full, wet, messy diaper before being put down into her crib for a nap.

But she couldn’t.

#ab/dl community #ab/dl

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surplus-of-sarcasm · 1 year ago

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31st Story, Part 2

TW: Blood, implied past captivity and torture, stitches, wound description, angst, corrupt system, issues regarding figure (brief), bruises, angst, knife, touch starvation

Part 1

Guess who's back with a hella long piece. vacay from college for some time with semester 1 over, woo! enjoyyy 💙

“So how did you sleep?” the vigilante asked as she walked downstairs to find the villain sitting cross-legged on her couch.

“Well,” he answered evenly, emotionlessness overtaking his tone as usual. It wasn't a complete lie; he'd slept better than he had in a long time, but his eyes had wrenched open a little after sunrise, even though he wasn't a morning person. He couldn't relax too much into this life, the knife he took shoved into the pocket of his sweatpants, but she didn't need to know that.

“I'll make us breakfast,” she announced.

“I'll help you out,” he offered, even though he knew she could probably infer what his motives were. He still wasn't taking any chances anyway.

She nodded curtly in response, leading him to the kitchen. And he'd almost wished someone had warned him about the whiplash of doing something so outlandishly casual with your enemy, as he watched her make a sandwich and soon enough followed suit, still hyper aware of the knives and the boiling water in the kettle.

And of course, nothing was lost on Vigilante, even if she probably wasn’t half as nervous as he was, the half-frantic, wild animal wrapped in the poorly fitting garment of someone calm and collected. “Are you always this tense?” she questioned as she sat down at the table and he sat opposite from her.

“Just hungry,” he shot back smoothly, a seasoned liar. Sure, he technically was half-starved, trying to eat slowly just so he wouldn’t retch, but if that was the case, he would’ve relaxed when he ate.

The vigilante said nothing as she took a bite of her sandwich, but her disbelieving eyebrow raise needed no further additions.

The villain’s grip tightened on his mug as he worried his frayed bottom lip between his teeth,”What do you want? If you’re going to question every micro-gesture of mine, then why’d you bring me here?” His voice was hoarse with exhaustion, probably from all the screaming he couldn’t muffle, not that he cared.

“I get it,” the vigilante said placatingly, even though it was clear she was somewhat irritated. She wasn’t a goddamn bleeding heart just oozing compassion and patience, not that he expected any different. “You’re afraid of getting hurt.”

“I am not afraid of crap, Vigilante.” It came out softer than he’d intended, almost as though he was the one trying to calm the situation, a new trait of people-pleasing a new and heavily despised survival skill he’d recently acquired.

The vigilante wanted to argue, but she also knew that from the day she’d walked into his cell and pulled him out, that she’d been walking on thin ice. That the man in front of her wasn’t his normal, unflappable self that could dish out a lot worse than whatever she dared to throw at him, so for the rest of this tense, awkward breakfast, they both remained quiet.

It had taken them about two hours of trepidation spent in the opposite ends of the living room for Vigilante to break the silence. “So, about the plan,” she started.

“Yeah?” he asked, now turning to face her.

“We can’t fight her by traditional means. We don’t have the time to amass an army big enough to rival my sister’s own. The main thing we need to do is find some way to desecrate that shining image of hers,” she explained.

The villain let out a low hum as though he was contemplating something, but the slight shift in the nature of his gaze indicated he’s noticed something. “Knocking your sister off of her pedestal is surely going to gain you some traction,” he noted.

“I don’t care much for the spotlight,” she countered.

“I know. But you seem to care about making sure your sister doesn’t have everything. Still, that isn’t the issue anyway.”

And again, he was right. There is something so utterly sickening of being born in someone’s shadow, of having all your power from someone else’s name. Vigilante was only formidable in people’s eyes because it was required of Superhero’s sister. Again, she’d never claimed to be dramatically selfless.

Still, she took note of how the villain made no effort at eye contact, his eyes trained on the pattern of her wooden coffee table, but she refrained from commenting. “Right. The general idea is, if the adoring public find out what she does to the people in her custo-”

The villain, in his most daring act of the day, had let out a sardonic snort. “Oh, save it. I don’t think you realise that how people like me are treated doesn’t really irk anyone. Because that’s how the world works, it’s easier like that. I’m not the most notorious, but it’s safe to say I’m ‘famous’ enough,” he made air quotations with his fingers, “People usually want to know about the trial, when it comes to people they’ve heard of, but no one gave a damn. No one cared to know I never really got a trial in the first place. Because they were just relieved that the Big Bad Guy was off the streets. Locked up somewhere. It doesn’t matter that my record says I’m guilty of crap I’ve never done. Because technically, I’ve committed my fair share of my crimes, what’s more to the pile? Hell, if it keeps me locked away for all eternity, then why not?”

This time, the villain’s gaze was steely, his teeth gnashed together and his tone harsh, and yet before she’d even commented, the villain was quick to force the muscles of his face to work on pulling it into a blank expression, his hand going to his pocket.

Where, unbeknownst to Vigilante, the knife from yesterday was. . .

It took her a moment to register his words and realise he was right. The likes of Villain wouldn’t garner the sympathy of the same people that cheered when they were locked up, at every suffocating press conference where her sister’s airy voice seemed to ring in her ears.

But how else was she supposed to rouse some sort of public outcry against her sister? She needed the key, the concept, the idea, and from that she could form a plan. It was why she thought of asking the villain in the first place.

“Then what should we do to get people to notice?”

The villain’s pale hand made its way out of his pocket, his expression still nearly unreadable. “Your sister’s clever. She’s almost untraceable, and uncovering her shady past would be difficult. Or actually, more difficult than having her do something terrible now.”

“So you’re saying we somehow force her to commit some sort of terrible crime?”

“Force is the wrong word. It wouldn’t be a choice she wouldn’t make on her own accord. And that’s our selling point. No one needs to make her pull underhanded crap because she’ll take that choice anyway. And from then, whatever it is you want to reveal is actually going to have a basis.”

The villain straightened his posture, pulling his now slightly loose fitting hoodie down so straighten a wrinkle only for it to come down with a strange difficulty, like it was stuck to his skin, the man letting out a soft hiss.

“You alright?” she asked.

“Fine,” he answered curtly, getting up. He knew exactly why his jacket had stuck to his form in the first place, and he really didn’t need Vigilante’s supposed concern. There’s a lot worse he’d seen in his life, in those three months alone than some old scratch reopening. Walking into his room, he shrugged his hoodie off in front of the mirror only to notice that the stupid scratch was in an area he could barely reach, deeper and uglier than he thought, blood running down it in crimson rivulets, exposed tissue that was barely healing showing too. He didn’t know where the gauze was, or how he’d even manage treating the wound. And somehow, his past vanity, or rather basic awareness of his appearance that he now called vanity hadn’t completely faded away considering he noticed bone and skin where muscle used to be and the ridiculous amount of bruises adorning his figure in various shades of dusty purples and browns; every sign of how his captors had turned him into a punching bag for all their sadistic cravings.

“Villain?”

Hell no. He didn’t want anyone in this room with him while he looked like this, frantic again and wishing he could rip his hair from its roots. He almost didn’t care that he was still bleeding and it hurt to shift even slightly, or that his wound felt warm to the touch and was probably infected. He sat there on the bed, gripping onto the sheets like they were the only thing tethering him to the world around him. “Just,” he faltered. As much as the villain hated it, he couldn’t do crap right now without her help. He bit his lip again and exhaled slowly. “Come in.”

She cursed softly when she looked at the wound, the scarlet already snaking down his lower back now. It didn’t take her long to come back with a whole lot of first aid equipment. “This’ll hurt,” she said slowly.

All she got was a low grunt in response as she pressed antiseptic-soaked gauze to his back, and even though he barely let out a noise, didn’t move out of the way, his shoulders still tensed up under the pain.

Involuntarily, she stroked a hand through his hair, a reflexive action even though the vigilante wasn’t particularly touchy, especially with her enemy turned ally of convenience. He turned to stare at her, looking nothing short of surprised, but not irritated or afraid. He turned around again as she stitched up his wound and tended to his other scratches, surprised how well he was holding out. The villain barely flinched through the process, but again the man had always been surprisingly enduring.

The villain seriously didn’t remember the last time anyone had tended to his injuries, even before getting captured. He’s sure someone did, during the times he couldn’t do it himself, but no one had ever run a hand through his hair when he’d tensed up or anything of the sort. He despised the fact that it hadn’t irritated him, instead he was left there dumbfounded, half-wishing she would do it again and half-grateful she refrained from it, from making him feel so bloody exposed like that. This entire ordeal, how strangely gentle the vigilante had been with him, how he slowly relaxed even though the idea of being this vulnerable, this close to one of his enemies terrified him.

The villain didn’t like to feel things that weren’t dry, controlled anger or smugness or absolutely nothing. So he didn’t, pretended he couldn’t until he believed it.

Every lie dies in the end, no?

The vigilante had got up to hand him a new t-shirt that he slowly pulled on, minding his wounds but still refusing any help with it. “Thanks,” he mumbled awkwardly.

“Y-you thank people?” she asked, half out of genuine surprise and half to lighten the mood.

The villain didn’t smile, but his lip twitched up ever so slightly with a half-smirk, “I’m a villain, but I’m not a complete tactless bastard.”

“I guess you could say that, and you’re welcome. I’ll just go clean up. Put your jacket in the basket over there.” The vigilante looked down at her bloodstained hands, and the villain gave her a curt nod.

He was lucky she hadn’t taken the jacket herself, or noticed the knife somehow, and he could still keep it. It felt even scummier after right now, when she could’ve just let him bleed out, or made it worse since she was this close to him. He didn’t even know what she would try the second he was no longer useful.

Carefully, he lowered his form onto the bed, letting out a soft groan. This was the strangest stage of his life yet, he presumed.

So many times, life is about choosing the worst option, the choice you’d swore to never make, about condemning yourself to being at the mercy of the unknown. People will scream at you to avoid the lion’s den, but sometimes it is the only shelter from a raging storm ready to destroy you into nothing. And yet, maybe there is wisdom in the most foolish decisions, and safety in the most dangerous risks. Because even if you’re riddled with deep wounds and scars, even those can heal under care, even in the most unexpected places.

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wanderinghedgehog · 4 months ago

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Another High School Les Mis

Live reaction:

This seems pretty well filmed

Holy soprano, Batman! That was one hell of a prisoner solo

This Valjean is already doing the most. I have a good feeling about this guy. For some reason, he’s allowed to wander all over the stage during this scene and he’s very confrontational with Javert. These two things together kinda diminish the oppressive vibe the scene usually has.

I drink from the orchestra pit. How clean the taste.

The lighting design is fun so far

This Valjean is phenomenal. He hasn’t even done a big solo number yet. It’s just his acting that’s so amazing to me.

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD THIS GUYYYYYY!!! He just knows exactly when to turn up the intensity and when to be more subtle. Get this kid a Tony NOW!

There seems to be an audio issue for a minute there

It seems like some ensemble members have mics and some don’t. Pretty standard for school productions.

This staging is very weird. Aside from the audio troubles, I can’t find Fantine. I can’t tell who’s singing because of how evenly distributed the crowd onstage is. She needs to stands apart (ideally downstage)

I love how kids who play the foreman often like to sound all gravely. It doesn’t actually make them sound more tough, but it’s a nice touch and I like it.

Oh this is a no swearing version. “I might have known the witch could bite.” Okay.

This Fantine is really good so far. I feel kinda bad for the actress because the track for her song is going weirdly fast. Give my girl some time!

This production would definitely be better if they made whoever was singing actually noticeable to the audience. I don’t know who I’m meant to look at in these ensemble scenes.

This Fantine seems to be struggling with her high notes. No judgment though. It’s a difficult singing role. I also like this girl’s acting, so I wanna be nice :)

Her short hair doesn’t look terrible. Nice.

The man who recruits Fantine is a woman in this production. Not sure if this was a choice or if they were running low on male actors.

Some little kid in the audience just went “yay!”

This Bamatabois is looking a little plain. I’d appreciate some pizzazz that marks him as bourgeois.

I’ve seen some awkward staging of the scratch bit. This wasn’t too bad.

Javert in red? Slay I guess.

He’s a little monotone. Let’s hope he gets more energy later.

This Valjean is really willing to get right up in Javert’s face. Don’t mess with Monsieur le Maire.

Poor Fauchelevent is so distraught. Save him!

The lighting needs to chill out a little you can barely see that he lifted the cart. It’s just a bit too dark.

This track is too fast! Javert just had to combine a ton of lines and barely got any of the tone through. I missed “forgive me sir I would not dare.”

This Javert is kinda funny. He keeps looking at the ground instead of at Valjean. Are you shy, dude?

I wish the lighting was better at the end of Who Am I. Another stellar performance from Valjean.

Fantine’s death was a little bit awkward. Both actors did a very good job, but the staging was weird.

Who let this Javert actor pronounce the n in Monsieur? Who let that happen?

LOW NOTE TIME

CONFRONTATION SWORD FIGHT????? I have no clue who would come up with that, but I suppose I’m entertained.

WHAT HAPPENED? WHAT WAS THAT? Javert down! I have no clue what just happened. It was too dark to see.

And then no final fight? Nothing? You can’t even see Javert for the last bit. He’s just some voice in the shadows.

So far, this is a good Madame T

That was… an interesting line change in Master of the House. Are they not allowed to say Jesus or something?

Nevermind. He just said Jesus. Why change the other lines then?

Not the shushing instead of swearing. This is just funny.

Well, they let her say bastard.

This Thenardier couple is pretty funny

This Gavroche could use some energy. Come on kid! Long live us!

I’ve got a good feeling about this Eponine

COSETTE

Toy soldier Javert seems to have grown a spine. Goddamn.

I repeat. GODDAMN.

Go toy soldier go!

Oops line mixup. But he recovered!

This Eponine is such a good singer. I’m in love with her voice.

Short king Grantaire

Do You Hear the People Sing was so fun

COSETTE

Weird staging thing. Valjean’s verse of In My Life gets messed with because Cosette has to climb down from this little balcony to talk to him

Wow you can see how he’s trying to let her down gently, but it’s clear that he just does not want to talk about this. Truly getting that sad old man vibe.

This Marius and Cosette actually have good chemistry. They’re really selling this.

HARMONIES

This Valjean can literally just walk onstage and I start crying. Oh my gooooood

Why did the lights get turned off on them?

ONE DAY MORE

Toy soldier does not know his lines very well…

Act 1 ends and I am Screaming! I love this so much!

Toy soldier hitting those high notes. Also, his barricade disguise makes him look like a beatnik.

Eponine in the audience is quite a choice. I think I like it.

I’m just noticing the tape markers on the ground. They’re glow in the dark. Like little stars on the floor. I’m getting too sentimental about this production.

EPONIIIIIINE!!!! Maybe Marius doesn’t love you, but I do! I love you!

Not having the “shoot me now or shoot me later” verse is so funny. Toy soldier is just sitting there.

They are really trying their best to fake this battle scene.

Where is he? The sound quality just got weird. Did they turn his mic off? Toy soldier, did they put you in a closet or something?

Where are both of them? What’s happening?

Guys are you in the back rooms? What is this location?

TOY SOLDIER! This is brilliant. Thank god he actually turned up the intensity here.

Marius singing about Cosette but like. Her dad is right next to you dude. Awkward.

This fucking high schooler singing “but I am old and will be gone” and I believe him!

Gavroche’s death is staged kinda strangely. Like I see the vision but I don’t know if it worked.

They seem to have combined some scenes after the final battle. This is weird but I wanna see where they take it.

Can’t really see much of Valjean carrying Marius around. They turned the lights off for a set change I think.

Goodbye, toy soldier.

I don’t think I’ve mentioned yet how good this Marius is. Great voice.

Did I not notice the old age makeup on Valjean before or is that new?

DONT YOU PUSH COSETTE

I have no more thoughts. Just sad.

FINALE YESSSSSSS

Final impressions:

AAAAA THIS WAS SO AMAZING

This high school drama club should know that I am now their #1 fan

Valjean was definitely my favorite. That was a phenomenal performance that I honestly prefer to some more professional actors I’ve seen.

Javert took a bit to get good, but by the end, he had really grown on me. I have no idea when I started calling him toy soldier, but it’s a fun nickname so whatever.

Some other standout performances were Eponine and Cosette. What amazing voices those girls have. They really made their characters come alive.

There was the problem of the lighting being too dim. I wished I could see more of what was happening, but it was in shadow.

I got so attached to this cast and this production. If people are interested, I might post the link to it because these kids did a fantastic job.

#god bless high school theater #I had a wonderful time #les mis #les miserables #high school theater

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firecrackerhh · 1 month ago

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I think it’s very funny that big name people in the fandom get a ton of shit from people who, frankly, just sound pissed off that they don’t get the attention the bigger fans do.

Like goddamn I wish I had the clout that ayylmao or any of the big Twitter hazbin fans have, but like…I’m not a bitter fucking asshole about it, I don’t see these big hazbin fans online and cope and seethe about how I think I deserve the attention they have. I don’t see them comment on HB videos and emotionally vomit my frustrations at them like they’re obligated to give a fuck about what I think.

Sorry if you can’t see it too well. I would type it out but…shit, I thought my posts were long winded. I read too much of this shit and my brain just tunes it out.

If it pisses you off that bad that a white cishetero guy or whatever is the main fucking source of info on hazbin, then…fuck dude there HAS to be SOMEONE ELSE who you can go to.

God knows I would do it if I could, but I don’t have a computer to even try doing that V tuber shit. (Getting a vtuber rig of my oc would be sooooo cool tho) Honestly even if I could stream about Hazbin and Helluva related stuff, I feel like I would be too awkward on camera or even worse, I would somehow have nothing to say at all and be boring as hell. Unless y’all really wanted to hear my non-Hellaverse related opinions, but then I would probs start saying controversial shit and that would just get me in hot water.

Honestly in real life I’m boring as hell, there’s a reason why I focus on fandom bullshit as often as I do and it’s because I got nothing going on in my life otherwise. Bitching is just a hobby for me at this point.

Nevermind all the other shit I would have to put up with if I started doing it, like I’m never really by myself at all cuz my mom and her boyfriend never fucking go anywhere besides work and I’m asleep all day (usually) and frankly my grandmother’s house is too small and she’d just be up my ass constantly asking me if I need something every damn hour and interrupting me. Honestly if I could live by myself I fucking would. But that’s sure as shit not an option. If I had to fend for myself in this world I wouldn’t last long anyway. Having to be responsible for so many things at once fills me with dread. I wasn’t meant for this bullshit society, or hell, any society really, and I’m not interested in pretending otherwise. The only thing keeping me going is hazbin/helluva and my cat.

But anyways!

I remember Squidiot once also bitched and moaned about Ayy cuz he called her a fucking schizo, (his words exactly,not mine) like yeah, I guess that’s pretty mean to say about someone, but considering the kind of person Squid is, I would consider it more of a fact than an insult at this point.

Like if you act like a fucking lunatic you shouldn’t be surprised when people describe you as such. Like, sorry if that’s MEAN, but if it’s true, I don’t see the issue. Like if someone tried to insult me by calling me a bitch, I’m not gonna argue the point, they’re right.

Like I’m not gonna say I’m like a huge Ayylmao fan or whatever. But I also don’t treat him like the end all be all on hazbin discourse. I get most of said discourse from the people I follow on tumblr, and the ones I follow here are just fine in my book.

See shit like this is why I can’t stream regardless if I had the ability, I would treat it like a fucking half therapy session/half ranting session and believe me none of you would wanna hear that. God knows my family doesn’t.

#tis i the werebitch

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aelloposchrysopterus · 2 years ago

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Family History

Revekkah Heterodyne, nee Voltaire, was running for her life.

“Fuckity fuckity fuck.” She stopped to catch her breath. “Why is everyone suddenly trying to capture me?”

She looked around. Just ten minutes ago, she’d been in the Red Cathedral, and then her Seneschal had flung her through a Queen’s Door out of sheer terror of whatever was about to burst into the room. Now, she was standing in a wide-open field in winter, far away from everything she’d grown to care about. No Castle. No trilobites. No Van. No Moloch. No Maman. No Mami. Nothing.

Instead, she was confronted with a heavyset man riding a wolf directly at her.

“Dammit,” she panted.

The man waved a giant, glowing sword at her.

“Shit.” She didn’t have enough energy left in her to run anymore. She thought she’d left him behind when she’d jumped into the river and then jumped back out a mile downstream.

“Euphrosynia!” The man hollered, waving at her.

Fuck. At least that explained some stuff. That man who’d been chasing her was Andronicus Valois, from his Storm King days. The Shining Coalition was still in power. And he was looking for his wife.

“I’m not her!” Revekkah yelled back.

Andronicus tilted his head. “But you’re her spitting image!”

Revekkah’s Newly-Anointed Heterodyne Bingo hadn’t included “getting mistaken by some guy for his wife because of time travel”. Van had just brushed off “time goes weird” as “something that probably won’t happen again, and anyhow, the Castle takes care of it”, to which the Castle had made a gulping sound that required a dedicated team to be sent into the sewers. Moloch had always maintained that if it didn’t involve a minion, it wasn’t his department, so really, he couldn’t teach her hypotheticals.

She really wished that someone had taught her the etiquette for this situation.

“Uh, so, this is going to sound kind of weird, but I’m one of your descendants,” she tried.

Andronicus laughed. “I don’t even have children yet, Rosie!”

Fuck me gently with a goddamn chainsaw. “But you will! And they’ll keep having children and eventually I’ll be born to one of them! I’m from the future!”

He was silent, pondering this. “Tell me how I die.”

“What?”

“Tell me how I die. If you’re truly from the future, then you’ll know how I die.” He was somber.

“Oh,” she said. “This is, um, kind of awkward, but you die trying to kill Simon Voltaire.”

He laughed. “Why would I try to kill Simon?”

“Um.” She blinked rapidly. “So. The Muse of Time and Van Rijn, I think, lock you away in a Corbettite dungeon with the Muse of Geometries and you kind of age like a Jagergeneral so you go insane and then you get let out and think that Simon Voltaire was responsible for it all and then the logical answer is to go track him down to kill him and in order to do that you steal Archimedes’ Lever back from your descendants and —”

“That’s enough,” Andronicus said.

“It is?” She exclaimed. “Oh good, you believe me.”

“Oh, I absolutely don’t,” he chuckled. “Van Rijn would never betray me, nor would his muses. Simon is my best friend and close ally! Rosie, whatever you’re up to, stop it at once!”

Revekkah groaned. “I’m not Euphrosynia.” She waved her hands about. “What do you need me to do to prove it?”

He thought for a moment more. “What’s your father’s favorite hobby?”

Shit. “Um… playing politics?” She shrugged.

He laughed. Wrong answer. “Darling Rosie, really, cease this madness!”

Revekkah was all out of options, so she started running as fast as she could, hoping that maybe Andronicus wouldn’t try to chase her. She was, however, incorrect. He came in on his canine steed, picked her up under his arm, and carried her off to his yet-to-be-finished Refuge of Storms in a position that she had once, while looking at an old manuscript in the Castle library, called the “fair maiden rescuing stance”.

He jumped off his wolf and greeted his allies, including Simon, who responded with a puzzled look.

“Why so glum? I found my wife!” He lifted Revekkah up into the air.

“Uh,” Simon responded, gesturing to a ripple in the ranks of the army that was a young woman, a veritable clone of Revekkah in appearance, running up to Andronicus. “I hate to ask this, mate, but are you sure?”

Read on AO3

#girl genius #my fanfic #girl genius event week #may 27 prompt #a bit belated #oc: revekkah heterodyne #andronicus valois #revekkah swears. a lot #i hc that andronicus's pet name for euphrosynia is “rosie”

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ahmementos · 2 years ago

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You Are My Center When I Spin Away

Febuwhump Day 6 : Secrets Revealed

Too depressing? Happy ending (not the nsfw kind) over on Ao3

Coffee had been replaced by beer, then beer with scotch. Sometimes whiskey; it depended on what was in stock at the local liquor store. When delivery of the alcohol was an option, he often told the driver ‘surprise me’ and got whatever they brought. He tipped well and they didn’t ask why he was, very obviously, drinking himself to death. Everyone was happy.

“One for you and one for me.” He always poured two glasses because sharing was caring. “You had a head start on the sclerosis shit, not that you’d ever manage to kill yourself that way, but I figure I can catch up while burning all this vacation time I never used.”

Jill had always negotiated his leave time and even in her disappearance the racked up leave time had sat there. “Five months is a long time to take leave but given the circumstances, they’ll give me my space.” The younger kids were always going on about speed running their video games. He could definitely speedrun alcohol poisoning. “You know, I’ve been holding out on you because I’ve had a secret.”

His voicemail had been full for two weeks and he refused to clear it or listen to any of them. No one could find him so there was no need to go to his apartment and bang on the door until he let them in. The few people he'd given his burner phone number to couldn't track him with it and they'd filled that voicemail up completely as well. Fuck voicemail. He was spending time with an asshole who refused to talk back.

Bills were set to autopay. Car was parked in a storage garage and paid up for at least a year or until his untimely demise. He was so damn good at planning missions that he turned the event into a mission just to make sure it was a goddamn success.

Bonus: no teammates to get killed along the way.

“I never told you that I was in love with you the first time I saw you.” Chris tipped the glass back against his lips and thought back to it. “It wasn’t at the Terrasave fundraiser, though that was why the handshake was a bit awkward. I didn’t realize I still had a grip on your hand when it was officially done.”

He didn’t want to let go.

“No, it was your rookie photo in the office.” And Chris laughed as he thought back to it. “I saw it the last time I snuck in there before I had to get out of town. Thought to myself ‘Damn, wish I could warn that guy not to come here.’ You looked so beautiful, so full of goddamn hope, and you were getting sent to hell on Earth right when it was about to implode.”

The glass met his lips again and the liquid poured down his throat. “Don’t be rude,” he said to the silence. “It’s my turn to talk.”

The other glass sat, untouched. “I know it’s not whiskey,” he groaned, “but I told them to surprise me again and they sent over vodka. We have to make due.”

Chris leaned his head back against the headboard and stared up at the motel room ceiling. “I thought I knew what love was,” he sighed. “I really did. And then you came along, with your goddamn perfect hair and your bullshit mouth. God…”

There were the tears again. “You saved me to punish me, didn’t you?”

Leon never answered. He never drank what was offered. What physical remains were left of Leon fit into a beautiful urn that Claire had picked out and sat on the nightstand next to him.

“I miss your goddamn mouth.” Leon always had some bullshit one liner, some way to deflect. He never missed an opportunity to talk. Being met with silence was the most painful thing of all. “Having to do all the talking in this relationship is wearing me out.”

His fingers stroked the tags wrapped around the urn. It was not the same, but it was the only semblance of comfort he could find, touching what Leon used to touch in the dead of night when it was just them working through their emotions. If he sat back and thought hard enough, he could almost feel Leon reaching out to grab his hand before reaching for the dog tags and falling into the raging inferno beneath them.

That was always when he let them go and took another drink. “Halfway through another bottle. Maybe I’m almost halfway back to you.”

#chreon #Chris Redfield #Leon Kennedy #Resident Evil #Febuwhump #Febuwhumpday6 #death #implied suicide intentions #alcoholism

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andypasta · 10 months ago

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rant/vent post (need to get it outta my system before I do something im gonna regret)

Does anyone even actually like me for who I am? Or do they only like the good parts. People get upset and sad over pieces of me that I can’t currently do anything about. I’m sorry I scratch myself until I bleed with my nails and my chipped shark tooth necklace, I’m sorry I can’t stop doing stupid shit, I’m sorry I’m self-depreciating, I’m sorry I’m non-chalant, I’m sorry I’m un-empathetic most times and have no idea how to deal with emotion. I’m sorry I have to exist like this. If it’s an inconvenience to you imagine how it is to be me. To have to sit throught talking with so many people, naturally ambiverted and friendly, and yet knowing that once people get to know me, they’ll leave at some point. They’ll all leave, or they’ll end up with other friends. And I’ll forget to contact first. And we’ll forget about eachother, but I’ll never really forget you, but I’ll feel too awkward to reach out again. I’m sorry I’m not the perfect friend, child, partner. I try, I really do. I just can’t, and I feel more and more tired of trying every day. My grades are falling because I can’t stop putting more and more stress on myself. And I’m sorry I can’t shut up during movies and shows when I wanna tell you cool things, and I’m sorry I can’t stop talking to you about my favorite things. I’m sorry I’m so goddamn annoying, and I’m sorry that I have to exist in your presence. You’re not the first to not want me around. But if I told you the first it’d be so nonchalant, and you’d be worried about me, but for your own reasons. You don’t want to feel guilty if I do anything to myself. It’s not your fucking fault. It wasn’t until you did that. Until you told me not to hurt myself because you would feel bad and I would go to hell. Until you told me that you hated me but only talked to me because I was the only one you knew in that class. Until you told me that you wish you never had me, whether a joke or not. Until you told me I couldn’t be in your group because I was annoying. Until you told me to shut up mid conversation. Until you told me one of my favorite foods looked like vomit and it was disgusting. Thanks for that, by the way. I changed my favorite food because of that. Oh, and let’s not forget the time you promised me you would make me said favorite food on my birdbath, planned out for months, and then decided you didn’t feel like cooking and took me out to a restaurant instead. Sure they had the thing on the menu, but it’s not the same. It’s not the same. It’s not, and it never will be. But you don’t care. My feelings don’t matter because you can play it off as me being an angsty teen and having an attitude. And not that you’re fucking up bad. But I can’t tell you. How would I. You apparently never do any wrong, I’m always the fuck up here. And I have 3 years of this left. Idk if I’m gonna make it. I want to, but the chances look slimmer every time I think about it. Still, I have to keep a straight face and a happy smile. For everyone. Because I don’t want them to feel guilty. And then I see people treating eachother nicely, and I wish we have that. I wish you would tuck me in and genuinely tell me you love me, I wish you would tell me I was doing good as a friend like your sister does in theater. I wish I didn’t have to pretend to be absolutely 100% fine with people jokingly insulting me. It’s fine sometimes, but the constant kys is getting annoying. And then I express that maybe I might, and you suddenly change it up and be like “oh no don’t do that” because your previous friend did, and you want me around because “who else would I draw with”. That’s it. Nothing else. No “because you’re special to me and we’re formed sand I’ll miss you” no. Just “who else would I draw things I make you draw with?” And I get it, it’s my choice and all, but I don’t want him to not like me. Because I’m friends with his twin sister, and I don’t want to ruin the relationship with her or the friendliness with their parents. And I’m so scared, of fucking everything. I don’t even know what I wanna do anymore. Or if I’ll make it there.

#Oh and yes the “you” bits were mostly diff people #Long post #vent :3

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panopticon-entertainment · 1 year ago

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Soap

In which andy tries to find some goddamn soap as Heidi tries to find them.

__________________________________________________________

All the world felt windblown as andy and Heidi loaded the last of their truck’s worth of possessions. It was all they had; that which they could fit into the space of a moving truck and their shitty little car.

“andy, don’t you think it’s time to just dump some of this stuff?” Heidi glanced at the truck that was much less than full.

“No,” andy said.

“Babe, you haven’t even opened most of these in the last few moves. The dolls; the old lights?”

“Don’t remind me.”

“How long are you going to insist on hauling this around?”

“How long are we going to keep moving,” andy averted their eyes from the truck.

Heidi held silent. She reached up and pulled down the sliding door. How long were they going to keep moving? How long until they could have a house and more possessions than would fit in a ten-by-ten stolen mover van? She needed to hitch the car to the truck.

“andy, will you pull the car up?” She pulled her keys out of her pocket and proffered them to her companion.

With an exaggerated sway of their hips, andy took the keys and headed down the sloped lawn to the junky car. It had only cost them a thousand to buy, and only a thousand to fix when it got T-boned. It was the best that they could do with such inconsistent income. The one constant they had left: inconsistency.

The slope of this driveway was quite awkward; the car lined up at something like a forty-five-degree angle. Heidi could never quite get the hang of connecting the car to be dragged behind. andy could show her every time and make her do it; she couldn’t do it. She was glad andy had stuck around.

At the house beside them, a car pulled on the driveway. A neighbor. Heidi had deduced that it was a group of friends who lived there. That one boy stood out: that one car. andy watched him with a sharp eye. He had the fluffiest hair they had ever encountered tinted a red red; he was a gangly stick man with tired stoner eyes and tireless acne. He only made eye contact because andy was looking so intently at him. He disappeared into his own house.

Heidi opened the car door and retrieved the car keys. The key ring was overflowing: keys from houses, keys from trailers, keys from apartments, keys from sheds, and keys from jobs. It was obnoxious to carry around.

The sun was hard, and the sky was very very blue, and the grass was really really green. andy wished everything was dead.

“It’s ten hours to the next place,” Heidi’s voice was frigid.

andy just looked at her.

Heidi cleared her throat. She stepped towards andy and gently held their hand leaving little space between them, “we keep moving until we find where no one is after y’all, and I can’t hurt a fly.” She kissed their forehead.

They got into the front of the truck. Heidi put the key in and turned it. There was no second glance; there was no mourning the move. The fender of the car hit the street and scrapped until the truck and the car leveled together on the flat street. Heidi thought them something of a perpetual motion machine: theoretical hearts that would stay in motion until they hit something that’d stick them to it.

It was just finding somewhere that would hold them together. They’d found it once; they’d find it again.

Motion was stillness. Freedom was containment. One was ten.

Heidi wasn’t the best driver of the two, but she could sit still for ten hours; andy couldn’t. Heidi spent a lot of time waiting; driving was waiting with a purpose: a tight space with a purpose and a goal. It was containment and ultimate freedom.

She drove them for hours uninterrupted.

andy slapped her at sundown, “Pull over.”

“I can’t just–“

“Pull over.”

Heidi didn’t make any moves.

“Pull–“

“We’re on the middle of the freeway I can’t–“

andy grabbed the door handle.

“Jesus,” Heidi flicked on the turn signal and touched the breaks as they on the shoulder’s rumble strip slowing to a stop.

andy opened the door to the frigid wind of the open plains. Their feet hit the ground; they slipped on the piled-up gravel on the edge of the road’s plateau but caught themself from falling to the ditch below. They moved behind the truck where there was more ground to stand on than the open air of a fall.

andy stood tall for a moment; Heidi walked out. andy collapsed to the floor. On their knees, they began to heave. Had it not been the transition of light and dark surely reality would have flip flopped as the world began to splinter under andy’s very hands. They heaved up the small amount of food they had scrapped together before leaving. The colors of the world were separating. They covered their mouth and heaved and heaved as something tried to leave their body out of their mouth. A black tar raged against their hand; it raged for light. Containment was freedom.

The blue of the sky rejected the impure colors separating the colors like a broken screen. The whole world was separating as one tried to separate.

Heidi knelt beside them as cars ripped apart the roaring air. She held them around the torso. andy swallowed the separation and swallowed the separation until it returned, and the sky was conjoined dark blue. One: andy’s statistical improbability.

andy stood up on their feet with Heidi’s hands pressed tight on their ribs–pressing them together. Heidi set her chin on andy’s forehead. They smelt like sugar.

Their truck was back to rolling its tires along the crumbling asphalt rumbling as the sun set.

They had gotten off, or been forced to get off, so late in the day that they started entertaining the idea of stopping at a place off the freeway for the night; well, Heidi entertained the idea for she knew andy didn’t care, and Heidi herself was splintering. For somewhere real shady, they certainly had enough for a night. Who knows? Maybe they could stumble into the right place.

Heidi, on impulse, skidded the truck onto exit two-oh-eight. Right past the nice hotels further into what seemed to be a little hick town: the center of the universe to somebody.

She found a white and green motel just off the residential heart of the city. It wasn’t empty, but it was a far cry from full. Heidi was not a good parker, but diagonally the conjoined truck and car tucked into two parking spaces.

“Are you going to go in?” andy asked looking out of the truck window.

“I shouldn’t,” she reached under her seat and retrieved her frilly little purse.

“You should. The more people see ya, y’know.”

“That’s in large crowds. Not the one poor high school dropout in there. Here’s the card.”

andy felt Heidi put the card into their hand; andy pushed the door open and stuck their legs out into the surprisingly freezing summer night, “If they have a cigarette machine, I’m gettin’.”

“No. We need every cent we can spare for gas. I promise we’ll be at our next home long enough to forage jobs. Hold strong a little longer, baby.”

“You go in.”

“Seriously—”

“What? What is one contact?”

“It leaves a trail.”

andy huffed. They stepped out onto the dirt parking lot. They reached for the black sky to stretch out their shoulders, “and I don’t?”

“No, you—” Heidi ran out of words opting to just look at andy.

They just looked back at Heidi.

“You aren’t gonna do it, are you?”

andy shook their head.

“Fine,” Heidi signed and muttered, “Fine, Joan.”

Heidi got out of the truck as well. The Earth tried to move beneath her feet. She always had to watch her feet in case she mis-stepped on reality’s grid work and fell through the floor. This town felt weak. Heidi hopscotched her way to the sidewalk. She turned back to look at the moody creature that leaned against the truck with their arms crossed. Whatever.

Heidi entered the little office. This place was weak. A humanless face rose to meet her. Instead of a backwall mural there was a backwall void. The person was innocently human before she entered and would be again so wonderfully ignorant when she left. The truth was as unalterable as the fabrication around it. They were nothing more than an automaton that worked and socialized and partied and— wait, Heidi had to say something.

She asked for a room for the night.

The human took her money—the human would go out to the river with their friends tomorrow; they would divulge drama—and gave her a key. (The human would live a life never realizing what reality saw in them). Heidi left—no impact—back out into the night.

She stepped in a careful pattern to the trunk of the car. She opened it, and subsequently the little cooler that sat inside; the selection was a palette of syringes. She took one and shoved it into her brain. Her body writhed; she dropped what she held; the world came back together. Shivering she gripped the trunk; andy didn’t even come over to look. Heidi locked the car back up.

The motel room was barren and cold. A sickly cactus green theme but with no decorations or beautification it felt they were trapped in a green screen world. It was a single-bed room. Heidi fell onto the sterile and scraggily bed unceremoniously; she was exhausted. She popped of her shoes and half-heartedly loosened her belt. andy paced on the floor; the room ran yellow and blue to her.

andy sat on the bed beside Heidi who was slowly curling into the sheet and losing to unconsciousness. She shivered; andy didn’t hold her. This place was weak, but she was strong; it took a lot to knock either of them down.

andy glanced at her face; not in motion, it displayed a tired frown. She wished it was just green.

They hadn’t seen the color green in…

Two-oh-eight? Was that correct? Was that what the sign read? Was—oh, let it be.

andy swung up their feet and laid themself down. The pillow was a rock, and the bed wasn’t much more than a lump. They looked at their hands; they looked covered in dirt. They crawled back up and went to the little sink separated from the bathroom. Water hurt their eyes, but they let the refractive liquid flow from the faucet down the drain for a few seconds. It didn’t warm up. They plunged their left hand into it first seeing if the pressure would laser off the filth. They gripped it with their other hand. It wasn’t dirt; their hands were just stained.

Was there any soap? Soap. Soap? Soap. They scavenged through every cabinet and drawer they could find. There was no soap. Maybe the office had some? They looked back to the unconscious Heidi whose hand squeezed the pillow beside her like it was the last thing she had on earth. All they were going for was some soap.

They closed the door of the room softly behind them so as for the night air to not sneak up on the unsuspecting sleeper. The beauty of being outside caught andy off guard. The dumb brunette in the office didn’t have any soap. If only air could wash their hands. The air didn’t move all that much in dear little towns; under the black and star-ridden sky, nothing much changed. It was so beautiful—or maybe it was simply deceptive.

Their hands were still stained. Heidi would sleep. Their hands would be stained in the morning. Heidi wouldn’t mind. They didn’t have to pay for it; they’d only be here a moment. Heidi would be fine.

A twenty-four-hour store in a place like this was just employee-fodder. Everyone had to do something. Everyone. andy’s first strategy was simply to visit the bathroom of the store. The store was an assaulting brown. A little red, a little yellow, a little blue, a little of everything. Instead of going in all the way and being inconspicuous, they stood in the area between the doors: nauseous. They just needed soap. On the floor, uneven and sharp, andy stepped like they were stepping on glass.

They found the bathroom and slipped in. They pumped the dispenser until their hand resembled a snow drift. They put their hands together over the sink and started by gently massaging the soap into their skin. They grew more violent as the white soap reflected every color, but the stain wasn’t yielding. They started scraping with her nails. Finally starting the water, they did naught but wash soap down the drain leaving their hands exactly the same as when they had started.

They tried again.

The soap departed their hand as fluffy white as it had been when it came out.

How mad would Heidi be if they woke her up to drive away from police? This soap wasn’t strong enough.

andy left the bathroom. The store was weirdly compact. If their hands were no longer made of skin, they needed something stronger. Maybe acetone; maybe bleach? Nail polish remover was the first thing they saw. They grabbed the bottle and—glancing around for lurking employees—ripped it open. They poured it generously into her hands catching the overflow with her lap.

They scrapped it into their raw palms and fingers; it just stung. It really only stung. The liquid, as it pooled on the floor, was as clear as it had begun. They were growing more and more irritated; they were growing more and more obsessed.

Fucking two-oh-eight.

It had all become so normal so fast.

andy capped the bottle and shoved it into their deep pocket. Cleaning products? Where were they? They made eyes with an employee, and they walked right past. They made themselves look purposed; confidence could mask anything, right?

Cleaning products! They couldn’t recall anything from chemistry as they looked at the chemicals; they didn’t know anything. they did, however, know the letters that spilled out bleach; It cleaned everything, right? They took a bottle popped off the lid; it smelt sweet. They had begun to pour it on their hands.

“Ma’am?”

They jumped so profusely their fingers shorted out, and the bleach fell to the floor and expanded all over. They jittered and dropped to the floor putting their stained hands right into the forming puddle.

The employee grabbed them by the hands and pulled them up. He had the fluffiest hair tinted very red: a stick man with cute little spots of acne.

They tried to stammer out words and the only thing that stammered out was a coarse recognition.

He released their hands, “Ma’am, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

“Hey? Hey! God, hey, can—do, huh, do you remember me?”

“You look familiar.”

“Uh, uh, high school, yeah, senior year the three classes.”

“Yeah. Sounds right. Yeah, I know you. You gave me your aripiprazole.”

“Exactly, oh my god,” they giggled.

“You look like you still need it,” He had no humor.

They straightened up rubbing their hands together, “It’s good to see you. It’s good to see anyone.”

“I’m still going to have to ask you to leave.”

andy frowned. They looked down at her hands; they were still stained, “Can—well, do you know,” they thrusted their hands back into his, “Do you have anything that’ll clean this off?”

He looked at them, “It’ll grow out when your skin replenishes.”

“No, I need it out now!” They despaired. They bent down and rubbed their hands in the spilled bleach.

He pulled them up again and started walking them out of the store.

“Wait. Wait, wait!” They broke apart from him and stopped, “Do you still work at the theatre at all?”

“No.”

“How—”

“You need to leave.”

andy looked at him with a senseless desperation.

“I’ll let you wash that off your hands first.” He took their arm again and walked them to the front of the store. They swiped a little snack cake from the register area and stuffed it in their pocket.

They broke apart from him again, “I’m fine, thank you.”

He stared at them.

They backed up. Time had changed him. They’d be just a funny story to the automaton’s friends in the morning; they’d be on the road again in the morning.

He made sure they got all the way out into the dark night.

Heidi’s heart restarted forcing her awak. Her nerves tingled from head to toe and her blood grew warm. It was just a room and a bed. Her mouth tasted like sugar; her head felt like gelatin. She looked about the green room for her companion.

She knew the day would come eventually.

Her hand muscles were tight around the bones. She rolled to sit up with her legs over the side of the bed. A little trickle of blood stemmed from her nose. She wiped it away with her hand; more blood kept coming. She let it run down her face and on to her clothes. She’d been still for too long.

She refastened her belt and placed her sweaty feet on the cold faux wood of the floor. She stumbled to find her shoes. She had to untie them then refasten them on her feet. She needed to move. God, she was bleeding so much. Whatever.

Shutting the door behind her, she looked out; the sky wasn’t there. It just hadn’t loaded. Was there no one in this whole town looking up at the night sky? It was time to move and to let the sky know someone cared about it. It was less synthetic than Heidi gave it credit for; it could be kind of hard to tell. She hoped the sky hadn’t offed itself. What would she do without it?

The ground was gridded and textured over as it should have been; she shouldn’t squander this time.

So, she ran.

Their realities were intrinsic, and there was only so much world.

The sky turned on; someone was looking now. There was at least one other person out in the city tonight.

The asphalt road was oddly curved, like it was melting away, but it was solid. Running down the highway, the road looked as endless as the sky. Far off in the distance traffic lights chatted to each other with signals that no cars were looking at. This place was weak.

Why was this where andy had to run off? She may never see them again. She’d run until morning. And, if she was alone, she’d simply drive till she drove off where the sidewalk ended for good. She couldn’t do this alone,

She was a poor runner; she had to stop very soon. She stood panting in front of a store. A twenty-four-hour store? Ridiculous. A town like this was cannon-fodder. She sat down on the cushy curb and stared out into the blank space. The things that existed were the things plastered in harsh lights.

The electric sliding door of the store dragged itself open. Heidi couldn’t help but snap her head to the young entourage gliding out of the store. The leading creature was a large black dog with a dapper little service vest. Its wielder, and the one directly beside her, had a sharp structure. Their eyes were fully white and the sniveling, pathetic creature adjacent to them had no whites to her eyes. Something in their demeanors told her they were who the sky turned on for.

The stature of the dog wielder, the blonde-haired white-eyed, was stout and together as if pressed into a container that was a little too small; she was pretty or had been or would be. That beside her, the green-haired white-eyed, was as if he’d been stretched upwards too much. Their faces were very similar and their bones although distorted from each other were poured from the same mold. Their black-eyed black-haired accomplice had the stature of a fat yet sickly child despite clearly being as tall as a late teenager.

Heidi took the time to survey each of their faces which inevitably invoked eye contact between her at the black-eyed peon. The peon looked away and then swiftly looked back almost disbelieving of the facial structure she was staring at.

The black-eyed pulled on the sleeve of the dog wielder. She was going to brush off the little gremlin, but she pointed at Heidi and as soon as the wielder caught sight, assuming she was seeing and not just sensing, she stopped.

Heidi’s body felt nothing either way.

The dog wielder thrusted her dog’s leash into the Black-Eye’s hands and stepped on the cracks of the sidewalk. She approached very fast and embraced Heidi so aggressively it pulled her to her feet. She coddled Heidi on her shoulder. Heidi didn’t necessarily push away, but she didn’t melt in the way this strange butch expected her too.

“We were about to come storm the castle for you,” She pulled away holding Heidi’s shoulders at arm’s length away, “Girl, you are drenched in blood; what did he do to you?”

Heidi looked blankly at White-eyes.

“Hey,” White-Eye put her hand to Heidi’s cheek.

“I think you got the wrong girl,” Heidi finally stepped away.

“What?”

“I don’t,” her dry throat scraped against itself choking out her words. She swallowed, “I don’t live here.”

Black-Eye and Green-Hair had stepped close enough to survey Heidi. Green-Hair grabbed her arm and surveyed her lumpy and misshapen skin. He released her.

“You look exactly like our missing friend,” he looked at her, “Where did you come from?”

Heidi looked up at the compacting light in the streetlamp, “Oh, I’m just passing through.” She touched her face in habit as was surprised to find her rubbery skin slick and sticky; she had been and was still bleeding.

The expression of surprise went noted by White-Eye, who did not look all together convinced that Heidi wasn’t their friend, “hun, what are you doing out here like this?”

“Oh,” she wiped at the blood on her face with the back of her hands, “I’m a hemophiliac,” she lied, “I’m fine. I’m—I just got separated from my… friend.”

“Are you gonna bleed out?” Black-Eye asked.

“I took my shot,” Heidi produced the empty needle from earlier—she should have brought another—and returned it to her pocket, “I’m fine.”

There was an awkward pause.

“What’s your friend look like,” White-Eye asked.

There were several images of andy Heidi had in her head—Heidi has lot of images in her head for everything. She grasped for an approximation of andy.

Before Heidi could get anything out, White-Eye seemed to snap to life; the words that came out of her mouth were not visually clear as most words were, “I have an idea—you help us find our friend we’ll help you. We know where our friend is.”

“We don’t need help or to help her,” Green-Hair prodded White-Eye to move on.

“No; He’ll be just as caught off guard by her as we were!”

“That’s a horrible plan; we already have one.”

White-Eye smiled a very off-putting smile to her companion, “He’ll get one look at her and shit Himself.”

“But He’ll know it isn’t her.”

Heidi needed to leave; Heidi needed to indulge. It would be reckless; it would be insanity.

The streetlight popped and the light fell to the ground in harsh pixels. It burned her hand before the area faded to darkness.

White-Eye grabbed onto Heidi by the wrist and elbow of her left hand, “This part of our lives already feels like a stupid movie; will you help us make it a horror for this guy?”

It would be dangerously reckless. They’d have to drive for twenty hours, maybe thirty, to escape the consequences. It had all gotten so normal so fast; she hadn’t even realized until she looked at this girl’s refractive eyes that she had gotten bored. Bored of what? Maybe that wasn’t the right word. What was boredom; what was fun? What was anything. What was pain and what the hell even was affection. What was—

“If you’re alright with losing your mind for a while” Heidi tumbled out. She twitched; she should have said soul.

How far should selfishness go? Should a human prioritize one’s own needs and emotional desires at the stake of everyone else? Didn’t there have to be a natural predator to humans; you can’t be at the top of the food chain forever. Someone is always greater. Something that stays the prey forever will only ever cease to exist, however.

White-Eye was enthused. White-Eye didn’t feel the need to explain that they had already lost their minds; had they lost their souls yet, though? The theoretical heart of it all, were they ok with loosing that?

Heidi couldn’t connect her emotions to her current situation, but something at this moment condemned her to not care so much about the protection of the average soul-driven human that appeared not much more than an automaton to her. It was an odd sort of honor to be part of a night that would influence these kids’ realities and feeling for as long as a forever remembered it.

This place was weak.

Two-oh-eight.

andy rubbed the palm of their hands on the cracking and breaking asphalt of a residential road. How many layers of skin deep was this dirt? They had just kept walking; They had just kept moving. This town had thirteen parks: ten public restrooms with soap.

The first they had come across looked at if it was some divine temple. One beautiful, sterile streetlamp placed in the middle of the park shone down on the grimy stone structure. Like a little fly, andy had gone towards the light and into the stone. There were no mirrors; the sinks were more like troughs. Every item was bolted down. There was soap.

The soap stung andy’s raw hands badly; it made them think it was doing something. The black stain was stolid as ever.

They sat on the stone floor of the bathroom with their head in their hands. Their mind was vacant but for a dull tide of thoughts chattering to each other. One trying to reach an idea of importance so it may speak out to andy and say, “this is why this was happening.” andy was waiting for some grand epiphany or some grand depressing truth.

There was nothing but incomprehensible chatter. They felt like a bus driver. A mind so focused on movement but the persistent knowledge that far more interesting things were happening just behind them–things happening beneath them.

They eventually moved on from bathroom number one. They passed the ghost of a house; so washed out and so alone. Further down, a house whose spirit seemed condemned to hell waiting for someone to come back to it. They passed a lot of houses. A hundred, maybe even a thousand if they walked far enough—stories closed off behind private walls. They’d have like to have heard some of those stories. They hadn’t heard a good story in a while.

They kicked off their shoes; the shoes were so worn. Their socks quickly followed abandoned in the gutter. Their feet on the sharp road felt… just felt. There were so few colors in the world at this moment. The lack of light equaled the lack of colors. Things were more cohesive in the dark. More put together and more comprehensible—simpler.

They had learned it was better living in the dark.

They didn’t care what the stain was; They just wanted it gone. They didn’t care that this was the two-oh-eight; They just wanted—

They found themselves standing at the edge of a block standing in the middle of the road in front of a large brick structure which forced the road into a tee not a cross. People went to high school here a very long time ago. Wouldn’t that have been neat?

andy looked up above to the streetlamp that was as bright as the sun. Well, maybe that was an exaggeration, but it certainly burned their retinas. They could tell the grass beneath it was so very green by how sharp the yellow was against the red tones of their own skin. Under the light, their skin was separating more and more from itself. The colors were hanging out.

They crossed the street quickly. They didn’t need to look both ways; there was nobody out. They were getting nauseas. They thought about knocking on the door to simply see who was in there—see what was made of the inside of the school. They’d always wondered. In front of the door was a large semicircle with a rusted empty flagpole in the middle. They approached it and fastened their hands on it.

For a brief moment, several other hands held the flagpole with them.

They released it.

They dropped her arms ferociously against their thighs irritated, sleep deprived, and hungry; something crinkled. The snack cake! The snack They had stolen from under his nose—they thought he ought to be more appreciative of them—was still in their pocket.

They tore the thing open. It was red and white so they figured it must have been some shade of pink; it didn’t matter. They took a bite of it and their sad little body perked up a little at something sweet inside their mouth. The sugar intake usually would have made them feel sick, but, tonight, it alleviated their nausea.

They scarfed the thing down the moment it offered some kind of pleasure at all. The intense desire for soap dissipated; they just wanted to consume more. They had the appetite of ten people. They had been so poor for so long. andy certainly hadn’t been skinny when they met Heidi. Their goal in mind changed. They just wanted to eat.

They thought about knocking on the big brick house for a moment longer. They seemed at rest; they’d walk onwards. The sidewalk around this property was rough but not unpleasant. A sidewalk that was hyper-smooth was just as bad as one that was nothing but gravel. This one was well loved and cared for. They felt around their mouth with their tongue cursing the bittersweet aftertaste of the cake as it faded in all too fast.

They kept walking onwards; they were looking for something friendly. After a minute or so, they came to another tee in the road. A wide and usually busy rural road. They could tell because under their feet this road was very smooth. They wanted to tightrope along the dividing lines of the road but apart from a blocky cross walk there weren’t any. Odd such a busy road wasn’t separated. So, they found the seam of the road and stepped heel over heel on that.

There were a few dismal streetlights that spotlighted specific points along this lanky road; all displaying a different set of separating colors on separating land masses. There weren’t many houses on the road. Only, to their right, a large blue and green highlighted tan bricked aych. That wasn’t interesting. It was; they wouldn’t let themselves be interested.

They continued to walk slowly watching their feet. More colors began to creep in—to swim in. Dim yellows and reds trying to make orange. A very light blue and more and more as white light crept up on andy. They didn’t turn around as the two beams of light came from behind. That is until the screech of old breaks played feet behind them.

andy turned around and stared into the beams that were conjoining and splintering and mixing and melting. Behind them was an irritated driver; some woman who didn’t have time for this. andy was dazed by the motion and excitement of the colors of the lights. The car jerked so Woman could simply bypass the poor, shoeless figure.

Woman abruptly stopped now beside andy. She rolled down the window—irritated, but shocked—and called andy by a name.

andy’s voice cracked as they called a name back.

“What the fuck are you doing here?”

Heidi was already seeing reality’s gridwork again by the time they had made it to the absolutely trashy subdivision that appeared to be the goal of the solid eye trio. Heidi hadn’t been able to gather much information; White-Eye’s words stung her eyes so bad that she couldn’t look at her. But without that visual, her audio was fuzzy like a walkie-talkie that had dropped on the sidewalk a few to many times. Simply, it was incomprehensible.

Heidi was sat in the back beside Black-Hair, who said nothing. If Heidi looked at her long enough, her own skin rippled, and she became itchy. Heidi watched Black-Hair scratch her skin for minutes at a time trying to, without realizing it, alleviate herself of her own skin. Heidi, in flashes, could see that Black-Eye was always supposed to be something worse. The distaste the white-eyed siblings had for her seemed to only be the beginning of the things she deserved.

They parked in the small line of parking around a tiny square of what seemed to be park land underneath a dead streetlight. The road was coarse and full of holes. White-Eye let her dog out first letting him growl as he sniffed the dried-out grass. Green-Hair’s footsteps, whenever he hit the asphalt, emitted a soft gunshot.

Heidi thought that somewhere in there, White-Eye has said her friend’s name. Somewhere in there, she’d explained what they were doing. She’d wing it. Her nose had stopped bleeding, but the skin around many of her fingernails had taken up the gauntlet; her fingers were crusted in blood.

Mouth to ear, White-Eye pointed out which house down the abyss was the one. She didn’t need the extra hearing damage: it was the only blob that loaded on either side of the balance beams that should have been the road.

Heidi set her balance and delicately walked the distance. She wondered what color the house was; she wondered if it was nice. She stepped onto the gridwork that was probably cement steps to the patio. She centered her feet and popped her knuckles. She knocked six times on the door.

It was a minute or so before the door swung even a little. It didn’t open all the way as a lock chain kept it still. Heidi met eyes with solid yellow eyes. Heidi tilted her head to make sure he could see her entire visage; she understood that was important. She really wished she’s brought another shot. This place was weak.

He seemed about to speak before he had the chance to absorb her face. He pushed in the door and undid the chain. He opened the door.

To Heidi’s surprise, the house was entirely loaded. While he surveyed her, she took in every detail of the house interior she could. Every piece of trash, every blanket, all of it. She could see it, and so she registered it.

She didn’t register him talking; no sound came out of his mouth. When he spoke louder to get her to answer him, she could see decipherable letters floating around.

“What are you doing here, kid.” His words said.

A separate set of words reflected in his eyes. Heidi read, “Yes.”

“What?”

“Yes, I want you. Yes.”

His being had a sort of glaze to it: not quite shocked but unnerved. He stepped back into his house and left the door open for Heidi.

His mouth didn’t move, but his words said, “you decided you can take me?” his demeanor invited her in.

Heidi took the steps into his house, and, swiftly, he closed the door behind her. He spoke, but she didn’t hear; she really didn’t care. From behind, he put his hands on her shoulders. He shifted so his side touched hers and one of his arms went across her shoulders. He began walking her.

They walked to a hallway. His body language was suggestive.. He opened the door of a room and—

His unnerve took over his body; the motions he repeated fell through.

Heidi stepped into the room with wide eyes. She stepped up and down on her feet double checking that this room was sound. How could this house be so solid and yet—

Heidi turned to see him fallen clutching the wall. She didn’t mean to. She didn’t mean to, but her soul was so shocked. No matter how solid the house was human souls were not. He had no face; his head was dumping his better mind out of his ear jolting is head to the side in rapid fashion.

He would be fine when she left… hopefully.

Heidi turned back and too knelt on the floor next to… herself.

The perfect vision of herself laid on her side one arm reaching out and her legs stretched. Her eyes were closed. Her stomach had been ripped open, and her organs draped out. Her face was bruised, and her arms were cut. Her knees were profusely bruised, and the skin carpet-burned off; her legs were skinned. It looked just like Heidi down to the hair.

Heidi stared at this unholy visage.

She left the room.

The house was still solid. Heidi stood against the wall in the main room that divided to that hallway. She saw herself dead. She saw… somebody dead. Somebody—

Was that andy?

An array of picture frames on a single well-kept bookshelf caught her eye. The display was pristine. It must have been someone’s else. Heidi picked up the picture that had caught her eye.

Him and andy.

She looked around.

andy, His brother, and… Heidi?

A group school photo. andy, Him, His brother, the solid eyed trio, Heidi and more. Class of—

Heidi looked back at the photo she held. She peeled it out of the frame; she peeled them all out of the frames and placed them in the tit pocket of her shirt.

This house was strong, but it wasn’t real; it was just a soul.

She walked out of the house and stood on the gridded porch. She looked around, and it was barely a second before White-Eye was face-to-face with her. Heidi had to avert her eyes as she spoke.

Heidi muttered out, “He’s out. She–“

White-Eye ran into the house.

Heidi tried to reach out for her but… she’d have to learn some way.

It was a minute, Heidi counted, before White-Eye came out of the house. Her eyes were pouring white liquid, and her hands covered her mouth. She walked past her twin and her enemy. Green-Hair and Black-Eye looked back to Heidi. She solemnly shook her head letting them know their friend was already dead.

Black-Eye followed her closely. Heidi took her steps off the porch.

Green-Hair took a few steps and then turned, “Sorry, we can’t help you,” he said with a tear of his own in his voice.

Heidi nodded.

He began to walk.

Heidi jerked, “wait!” she walked to him, “this girl,” she took the pictures from her pocket. She handed him the picture of His brother, andy, and the white-eye’s friend. She pointed to andy, “You know her?”

He looked at the picture, “Kate, right? Is that who you’re looking for?”

Heidi nodded.

“I think her sister still lives here; she might be there.”

“Where?”

“Uh… somewhere by the high school on the side with the dentist.”

Heidi nodded, “thank you.”

Green-Hair nodded. He then tore off to follow his twin leaving Heidi alone in the darkness.

She could feel bruises on her face and knees. If she touched them, they weren’t on her; they were laying on the floor of stranger’s house on a stranger’s body. Heidi could feel it. She was tempted to turn around and stare at her for the rest of the night. It was just another dead girl; she’d get the chance to stare at one again.

She needed to find the high school. She began wandering again.

She looked back down at the photo; tears came to her eyes.

The photo was morphing. The photo had morphed. The photo, reality, had morphed into something Heidi wanted to see.

A beautiful summer day with a beautiful ring of trees. The cracked up, weed covered, circular sidewalk didn’t interfere with the glory of the metal arch weaved around with flowers—the golden mats that hid the grassless dirt beneath them. She saw herself very alive and much younger. She’d worn the veil and the extravagant white dress; she really loved that dress. A twenties styled dress her grandmother had worn as well. Her white gloved hands held the bare, calloused hands of her beautiful wife. andy wore the top half a lovely golden gown as a leotard and a wooden cage as a transparent skirt. Their short hair covered with a golden hat.

Their wedding had been a golden thematic mess, but it was everything Heidi had ever wanted and at the end of the night she had the beautiful Andrea forever beside her. The original copy of this photo was long left behind in a house, a containment breach, thousands of miles away, but it followed her. It kept her happy.

She drank it in for a long time as she was sure that when she set it down it would return to the photo of the solid-eyes’ friends, but time was passing, and they had to be off. They would have to drive farther with the bleeding brain she left behind. She put the picture in her pocket once again.

With her blood crusted hands, she wiped off her dripping eyes. She had to find andy. They couldn’t be caught after all these years. Not by anything that wanted them. Motion was stillness, and Heidi set off for the only person she had left.

Woman, with a prescribed difficulty, managed to open the latch on the old, rusted door. andy had closed their eyes. The house fragmented into a thousand solid colors trying to outline the way. Too many colors crowding together trying to look into the lens while someone was already blocking it.

The sound of a baby crying was the first and only sound in the house before Woman’s feet drew the sounds of life from the rotting flooring under the carpet. andy awkwardly walked into the main room. Where they remembered a piano against the wall, there was a baby crib. They noted the ten family photos still clinging to wall almost buried in dust. Ten years of the sisters and their parents. At a cabin, at a theme park, at a campus, at a concert and so on and so on.

Woman had taken off her thick jacket in order to hold and comfort the baby. Through all the colors, andy surveyed the picked-at wounds along Woman’s face, neck, and wrists; they stared the large, intentional, burns up and down her arm’s skin.

andy asked, “Is it yours?”

“No,” Woman sneered, still bouncing the baby on her shoulder, “I chose to be in charge of a helpless rat.”

andy looked around the room avoiding eyes with Woman, “which guy?”

“Gone, that’s what matters.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, yeah, last I heard of you you’d overdosed. Thought you’d kicked the bucket.”

andy shrugged, “I guess not.”

“Where’ve you been?”

andy considered lying. She’d likely never see Woman again, “On the run.”

Woman scoffed, “having all the fun as usual.”

andy didn’t say anything. The house looked, as far as they could discern through the separations, familiar. Familiar as in if they had seen it in a picture rather than having been there; it looked exactly the same as the photo of a memory, just messier, dustier, and sadder.

The baby seemed inconsolable. A mother’s love manifested only in Woman by the need to keep the little thing alive—just like her mother before her. She placed the sobbing baby down on the sofa rather than the crib. Its outlines looked so tiny. Woman peeled back outside slamming open and closed her car door.

Groceries were the reason she’d left the house. It didn’t cross andy’s mind to ask why Woman had still been out so late that it was early morning. Woman was aggressive in feeding the shriveled creature. Its continued cries were surely no longer because it was starving.

“It never stops,” Woman growled, “it never shuts up.” Woman picked the baby back up and took it back to the crib, “What are you just going to stare at me?”

Softly, andy said, “I wouldn’t know what to say.”

“All you want to say is critique, huh.” Woman swaddled the baby in a blanket.

“No.” andy said rubbing at their palm with their fingers, “I can’t judge you.”

“Oh, go ahead. I won’t mind,” Woman hissed. She reset and sighed, “What did you do?”

“It’s not what I did,” andy mumbled. They said, “Are you alone here?”

“Mom and dad? They’re gone. Mom did herself in and dad moved on. The house was paid off, so, yeah, just me in the mansion.”

“It’s probably better that way,” andy muttered out.

“Yeah? Ya think so?” Woman put the baby in the crib and sat down on her sofa gesturing andy to do the same.

“I mean, well, she was always so miserable, and he was so upset. I just mean, I–“

“Don’t sweat it. I think you right,” Woman grimaced, “Sometimes, I think she got the right idea.”

“How’d she do it?”

“I’ll give ya a guess.”

andy didn’t proceed; they both knew well enough.

“Yeah, probably for the best,” Woman sighed, “You think misery is genetic? We always joked about mom and us having the same thoughts like it’s inheritable. But we did all have the same irrational fears, and sometimes I feel a lot like her.”

“Oh, don’t say that.”

“You wouldn’t know, Kate. You hopped ship with that guy as soon as you could drop out and leave this behind. Look at me, girl, I know you have been.”

“You didn’t marry your mistake.”

“You married Ray?”

andy paused. They felt nauseous, “No… I,” they clutched onto the couch unable to breath. They needed soap.

“Are you fucking high right now?”

andy shook their head, “I meant… mom married hers.”

“Yeah, yeah, I get that’s what you meant. If you vomit on my floor, I swear–“

andy stood up, “I just need to keep moving. Um, hey can I use your bathroom. Real fast.”

“You know where it is,” Woman scoffed.

andy walked a few feet into the back hall and entered the yellow bathroom. It was still yellow. It was only yellow. The white walls and the pretty flower-fairy wallpaper were unrecognizable separating and fleeing from each other.

Soap.

andy turned on the sink and shut their eyes. One more sight would shut off their brain. They scratched at their hands blindly under the water which refused to turn warm. They pumped piles of soap on their stained hands hoping in vain the soap would fix it as their insides churned–as their insides tried to separate from themselves.

Woman hadn’t changed. They didn’t know her. They had never known each other. Sharing a room in a picture wasn’t enough for them to know her.

andy shut off the water and opened their eyes. It felt like the stain was getting worse.

andy exited the bathroom.

“What are you on now?” Woman asked leaning on the arm of her sofa.

“Nothing… I’m just sick.”

“Addiction is genetic. You–“

“Stop,” andy halted her, “Just… what else has been going on?”

Woman raised an eyebrow, “barely anything. I’m a sub and a bar tender. Hey, exciting news I’ve been dealing with a student who’s dating one of the girls I go to parties with.”

“A grown adult?”

“Yeah,” Woman laughed, “who knew convincing a sixteen-year-old that a person mid-twenties doesn’t really love em was hard, huh?”

“What are you doing about it?”

“I’m not a mandatory reporter.”

“You’ve learned so much from the past.”

Woman rolled her eyes, “So, if it’s not what you did. What happened?”

andy didn’t respond with anything.

“Oh, my lord, do you want me to keep talking?”

“Why would you wanna hear about me?”

“Cause I thought you were dead! I know what’s happening in my life. Everything sucks. Music sucks, movies suck, my job sucks, my friends suck, and I’m stuck here with a gremlin who all it can do is shit and cry. I can’t even go and party or just fucking socialize because I hear my mother’s shitty stupid voice and her shitty genetic suicidal thoughts when I go home. You sound like you’ve been having fun, Kate. The last time I had fun was the last time dad and I went to Jackson with no friend and no family. Come on, what have you been taking? who are you with? I am asking you!”

andy closed their eyes again. The world was only outlines. Lines and lines of bugged up things. It was only their eyes.

She muttered out, “I’m with a girl; we have a U-Haul and not much else.”

“Like, with with?”

andy shrugged, “I mean, I guess. We aren’t doing very well. She’s sick too.”

“Is she why? What did she do.”

“It wasn’t her fault,” andy said on impulse, “She didn’t…” andy opened their eyes again. They hoped to make out Woman’s face. They stared up at the family photos again. A family they’d only seen in photos. Ten families they had only seen in photos. Heidi was all they had beside a wall of someone else’s photos.

“She didn’t what?”

“She didn’t know what she was doing,” andy stammered out, “she really missed her wife. She thought she was doing the right thing. But she just made us both fucking sick. It all became so normal so fast.”

“How much older is this girl than you?”

“Stop!” andy snapped.

“Did she kill her wife? Did you?”

“No… I–we haven’t talked about it. We just knew, and now I… I don’t what to tell you. She never talks about what she did just that they’re after me.”

“You sound like my friend who went psychotic after gettin’ beaten half to death.”

“Stop it.”

“What are you sick with?”

andy hummed, “she’s real contagious. She… but, not, she’s not to me. I– I can’t see right. My eyes can’t focus and she’s… she’s decomposing, and we can’t stay nowhere too long.”

Woman stood up, “I say this with love, I think you outta take the right kind of drugs.”

“You never listen,” andy muttered.

“They make good drugs for schizophrenia now. I sub for one class a lot and have watched this one kid get a lot better.”

“You do sound like your mom,” andy stood up.

“How dare you.”

“You said it first, and here I’ll agree. You sound like Kate’s mom.”

“Oh, you’re fucking crazy!”

andy grabbed Woman’s arms, “When Heidi has problems she bleeds. She bleeds so much, and you can always tell something is wrong with her! I have been looking at you!” andy closed their eyes and felt up and down Woman’s arms, “I would give anything to look the way sick people are supposed to look.”

Woman rose, “Let me go.”

andy’s breath grew faster. They kept their eyes closed, “She would say that this was Joan. Joan was hostile. She always said that when I got mad. When I was super social, she said that was Kate. And when she loved me, she said that was Andrea, so she calls me andy, because she misses her wife, and she doesn’t love me, and I don’t love her at all. I feel nothing, and I’m stuck on the run because she’s scared to be alone.”

“Kate, breathe. Sit back down. Breath,” andy could feel Woman try and push back a little.

andy opened their eyes, and it hurt. The colors were changing frantically. They were going to vomit. Freedom was containment. They squeezed harder onto Woman’s burned arms, “I know what it’s like to die, and I’m afraid if we stop moving–I’m scared to die again!”

“Where is she. Your girl, where is she?”

“She’s probably looking for me. She’s scared I left. I just wanted soap; I just want to be clean.”

“Do you want her to find you?”

andy breathed.

“I can help just… let go.”

“She likes me better dead.”

“Hey…”

“I wanna stand still.” andy could feel their face made damp.

They leaned onto woman releasing her arms. Woman hugged them lightly.

andy felt nauseas. andy jerked away knocking Woman off balance. Woman hit her head on the sharp corner of the baby crib. andy fell the floor. On their hands and knees, andy vomited.

They heaved and heaved, and slowly black tar made its escape from them. The internal compost of rejected body slowly left them. They tried to stop; they tried to seal it in. andy sobbed and put their hands to their mouth further staining their hands. They swallowed and swallowed. Each attempt to return their insides to where they belonged was met with a new heave.

The baby started crying again.

They couldn’t keep going; they’d surely find the duo after this night.

andy leaned on the crib still holding their mouth. They didn’t want to die again. They didn’t want to die again. They felt parts of their body detaching, expanding, and returning to them. A piece of them had gotten out. They cried out in anger. One mistake had done all of this. It hadn’t even been their own mistake. Woman thought andy had been having fun? Living someone else’s consequences wasn’t fun. If they had to keep running, it should be for something they actually did.

andy picked up the crying baby gently. They thought about bringing it with them, but the feeling of their body separating like a glitched light turned their off their thought. andy walked a few steps holding the child kindly until they were over Woman’s head.

They had nowhere left to go.

They smashed the baby’s head against its mother’s again and again until both skulls had separated into a million shard. They dropped the baby.

Motion was stillness. Their hands were filthy.

They left the home back into the comfort of the colorless night.

Heidi stood in front of an old brick building at a T intersection. It may have been a school a hundred years ago. The missing texture said brick; hell, it may have been a school now. The road that ran in front of it was normal high traffic. She could tell. She turned right.

She wished she had grabbed another shot. She lost her footing systematically where the road despised her. Heidi was no acrobat: no feat of wonderous balance. She had to find andy, and they had to go. They had to go somewhere more miles than they had ever gone in one trip. Why was this where andy had to go?

Another tee intersection? The moon had turned off, but the sky flickered back on manifesting a lighting error upon the clouds that had rolled in. The clouds were orange and pink as if dusk was just setting. The sky was stumbling to load for someone whose eyes saw too much.

Heidi dropped the notion of her cautious feet and walked forward onto the floating road. Another high school. Another school that was rendering for someone else under the sky.

They couldn’t exist apart.

The road parallel to this broken school floated solid and fateful under knock off stadium lights that aimed to keep this high school safe. Was that a figure in the road?

Was that something come to find them? Or was it what she’d gone to find.

Step after step of sticking feet took Heidi closer to the person she knew. She knew they were meant.

andy walked slowly down the middle of the street on the seams of the road. Their arms folded and eyes closed, they wandered blissfully unaware of the world that tried to mold to them.

Heidi was seeing double.

Heidi reached her hands lightly out to stutter andy’s forward motion just a bit. andy walked forward a few more steps until connection threatened to be lost. They unfolded their arms and opened their eyes. They kept at an arm’s length from Heidi.

andy always loaded very clearly; no, they never unloaded. But Heidi found them hazy and their outline separated.

andy looked at their hands. They were still stained black; they were stained red. As they felt Heidi’s eyes track them, they felt the blood that splattered their face.

Heidi went to grab andy’s hands. They both knew it was time to go.

Motion was stillness. Freedom was containment.

andy rejected Heidi’s hand and faced the school behind them.

andy whispered, “There’s all this dirt on my hands,” they turned their head to Heidi. They spoke with a wistful face, “wouldn’t you like to see where I went to high school?”

andy took steps toward the sidewalk. Heidi buffered their progress again, “What did you do?”

“You should have heard the words I just spoke.”

Heidi realized that andy was not interested in following her. andy balanced on the edge of the sidewalk and stared at the school. Heidi could see several colored embosses around andy; their colors were separating.

“andy, we need to go,” Heidi choked out.

“What did I do?” andy muttered, ‘I’m not the only one covered in blood.”

“What?” Heidi had moved to meet her position.

andy took her hand. They said again, “Would you like to see where I went to high school?”

Heidi didn’t say anything. andy began moving stepping onto the berm that separated the road from the parking lot. Heidi followed pulled by the object in motion.

The ground was soft; Heidi tripped immediately putting all her weight onto the hand that guided her. andy didn’t stutter over the grassy hill at all keeping Heidi stable behind them. When they hit the asphalt, they held both hands out for Heidi to jump off the grass. They released Heidi and continued walking with pep towards the opposite corner of the high school.

Heidi couldn’t well keep up. She was stumbling worse and worse over the road which seemed to have less and less supports.

“Hey.”

Heidi looked up from her feet to andy returning to her. andy pulled up a string that hung around her neck up and over her head and handed it to Heidi.

It was a shot.

“I always carry an extra.” They said putting in in Heidi’s hand. She continued on.

Heidi felt the syringe in her hand and stared after the separating andy. What was andy doing? Heidi stabbed the needle into her soft skull; the rush of it seizing her muscles and closing her eyes for a petrifying moment. She fought to not fall like the syringe she dropped.

She blinked her eyes open; she unclenched every muscle in her body. The lights above and attached to the high school made it appear ever so forlorn. So disrespected and so detached. The world was dark around it suffocating this block of LED light. Heidi saw andy doing something around the corner.

Able to follow without fear of falling from the world, Heidi sped to andy. andy had moved a large trashcan directly under the building. They gestured Heidi to stand beside them as support; Heidi felt more than one hand touch her when andy rested their hand on her shoulder.

andy hopped up on the lid of the trashcan and scaled up onto the roof, “I’ll pull you up,” andy leaned over.

Heidi looked up at them with worried eyes. andy smiled at her and flicked their hands in encouragement. Heidi didn’t like what was happening; she leaned on the wall, got on the trashcan, and took andy’s outreached hands. With a little push and pull, andy got Heidi up beside them on the roof. Heidi laid stomach first on the roof breathing, and andy immediately rose to their feet.

They said, “C’mon,” without even looking back.

Heidi sighed, she couldn’t help it, and pushed herself up to follow andy. She watched her for a moment as they balanced on the peak of the roof—as if the motion was ingrained in their muscle memory.

andy stopped and looked back at Heidi over her shoulder to say something. They caught Heidi’s eyes.

andy was beautiful. Heidi smiled slightly and continued. andy didn’t look at her in the face again.

andy led her to the other side of the building which stood taller than the rest. There was a small door that andy opened with no struggle. Heidi was surprised to see how easily andy could crawl into the auditorium’s balcony.

andy, already a few feet away from the door, called, “it locks from the outside.”

“That’s inane,” Heidi replied watching andy get farther away.

“C’mon. There’s a ladder over here.”

The ladder took them to the floor and a side door took them into the halls of the school.

andy was coughing into their hands when Heidi finally caught up. More black tar coated their hands; they wiped it on their pants. Another color had separated from them.

Wiping their mouth, andy said, “could you imagine being back in high school?” they put their hands in their pockets and took a wide few steps in a circle. They looked at Heidi; they began walking further down the hallway. Heidi walked beside their glitching form. andy asked, “What was it like for you?”

Heidi watched andy look at the walls, “I… couldn’t imagine going back.”

“D’they bully you.”

“They didn’t care much for me, no.”

andy walked apart from her pressing their face up to a dark window. They turned back eyes excited with an idea. They found a chair; the chair found the window.

Heidi looked to andy with an expression of horrified confusion; andy shrugged and climbed in.

They opened the office door from the other side. They asked Heidi, “What didn’t they like about you?” andy sat down at one of the desks and began messing with the computer.

Heidi tumbled out, “I wasn’t good with people. I had a stutter ‘n I was shy. I always managed to say the wrong thing. What are you doing?” Heidi came around the desk looking at the computer.

andy smiled, “they didn’t log out of the—I have a–“ they cut off typing, “Had nothing to do with ya bein’ a les?”

Heidi sighed and muttered, “Eventually, it did. No, I never made good friends until Uni. Really, until I met… well until I met you.”

andy didn’t say anything.

“What are you doing?” Heidi faltered.

“Heidi,” andy said staring at the loading computer, “Isn’t weird that I, me, I didn’t know that. We’ve never talked about high school.” andy made motions on the computer, “that’s an easy thing to talk about I think,” they placed the computer speaker next to the school-wide speaker’s microphone. They turned it on.

They hit the first music file they had been able to find on the computer.

They looked at Heidi, “We don’t talk about anything, Heidi. We never… we never talked about anything. You should’ve—I could’ve—we—” andy stood up approaching the halls that now rang with music, “we drive for hours and hours, but we never talked.”

andy stepped into the hallway listening to the school-appropriate classical the now flooded the building.

“Is that why you left?” Heidi called.

andy turned around asking ‘what’ with their body.

Heidi followed them, “Is that why you left?”

andy looked at their hands and paced a little. Heidi matched their pacing, and they began to walk around the school.

“I left because I needed soap; because my hands are filthy, and I can’t get them clean. I just wanna be clean. I feel so sick,” andy wrapped their arms around themself.

Heidi said, “this place is really weak. When we go, it’ll be better.”

andy looked at Heidi with no softening of their face or hiding of their feeling, “What are we doing, Heidi? All this time, what have we been doing?”

“We’re looking for a place that’s solid; that is good for us.”

“Heidi,” andy whispered out. She shook her head.

“What?”

“There isn’t gonna be, and you know that,” andy said completely nauseous.

“Somewhere,” Heidi insisted, “If there are weaker places there have to be stronger ones.”

“Heidi, I have a secret for you,” andy’s voice wobbled, “All these weaker places? They’re places your dead girls lived.”

“What?”

“About three stops ago was Fran’s hometown, two before was Rosalyn, this is Kate’s.”

“Why didn’t any of you—”

“Cause you only care about one of us and you know where she’s from.” andy put their hand over their mouth.

“That isn’t true.”

andy split apart their fingers and spoke, “Out of ten names you picked a nickname for her. When you see good things, it’s her. When you look at us you see her! Like Kate’s sister saw Kate, you want Andrea back. That’s what I am. I’m just yours: your wife, your project, your mistake, your companion,” they shut their hand over their mouth again.

Heidi wanted to object; she stepped to touch andy, but they pushed her away. andy leaned over beginning to heave—beginning to vomit.

andy let themself down to the floor. They didn’t want to make anymore of a mess; they didn’t want to leave anymore remnants of the creature that wasn’t supposed to be. Their eyes filled with lachry as they gagged on what made them up—as they gagged on the rotting remains of ten.

They choked out, “I never asked for this; I’m just one creature. I’m just—” a little bit of tar fell into her hands.

“You’re just one,” Heidi couldn’t fight the instinct to hold her. She too cried, “you’re just one; you’re just one that’s all we made,” she muttered, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I made you like this.”

“Be honest with me,” andy sobbed, “why do I have to carry your corpses,” they sobbed as the tar ripped their throat as it caught in their mouth filling their throat.

Watching andy separate, Heidi was wrought with tears, “We wanted to keep you all alive. We wanted to make ten; we wanted one to become ten again. I fucked up, andy. I never wrote results because my hypothesis was so so wrong, and they didn’t listen that we had to stop. I found the soul is nothing more than what’s in the brain and ten cannot become one and stay distinct. You’re right, you’re just one. They want to rip you apart; they want you to figure out what the fuck I did to you,” Heidi sobbed, “I’m sorry.”

Heidi looked objectively at the seizing andy; Heidi took andy’s hand away from her mouth.

Andy with tear-soaked eyes looked up at Heidi. They said with their strained faced: what about the trail?

“The trail doesn’t matter for you; you don’t need to carry this. Leave me and you’ll just be a person, they won’t be able to find you. You are impossibly one.”

andy gripped on to Heidi and let the tar rip them apart. andy separated. Their shape outlined by embossed silhouettes as the floor was flooded with the stain.

After minutes and minutes, andy coughed. It coughed and sat up coughing and wiping the tar from its mouth and coughing fresh red blood.

It had a glitch about it where its form from moment to moment would waver and separate, the wild embosses which made it one had unsettled and mixed around like sediment in a puddle touched by a leaf.

It separated from Heidi scooting back to the look at the amalgamed rotten corpse that had come from inside itself. It felt very empty: very hungry. It looked to Heidi who kept her mourning soft and to herself.

“Heidi?”

Heidi looked at it.

“Just because I don’t love you now doesn’t mean I couldn’t.”

Heidi cried into her hand, “I’m sorry I lied. It… finding one person who loved me was hell; I couldn’t let you leave me. You are all I have besides dead girls.”

It solemnly nodded its words, “The living need attention to.”

Heidi matched its nodding in understanding.

It looked down at the tar that coated its hands. It wiped its hands on the floor of the school. As the floor took the tar, it could see its hands beneath the coating were clean again. It scooted its hands and slid across the floor leaving a big train of tar behind it; Its glitching hands were only dusty. All it needed was some soap.

Heidi had risen as she watched it wipe itself off. Heidi inhaled. She called, “Hey, I’m Heidi. What’s your name?”

It stood up and dusted its hands off on its clothes again. It pondered for a moment before coming up with, “I’m Ace.”

“It’s nice to mee you, Ace,” Heidi smiled.

Ace smiled too. It extended its hand out, “You look tired, Heidi. We should get you to bed.”

Heidi quietly took Ace’s hand.

They walked out the front door of the school.

#writing #writeblr #original story #anthology #short story #short story anthology #the what-if room #soap

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emeraldiis · 3 years ago

Text

Pillow Talk

A/N: i will never apologize for being horny on main

AO3 Link

Pairing: Loki x Reader

Word Count: 3.4k

Summary: After an entire day of staring at you in that bikini, Loki is left utterly desperate for release. Good thing he sleeps with a lot of pillows.

Tags: masturbation, phone sex, pillow humping, needy!Loki, pining

Loki shifted on the bed, mashing his face roughly into the satin pillow case. It was nearly dawn, and he hadn’t slept. Even the tiniest hint of sleep had evaded him, and he’d tossed and turned enough to make his muscles ache in protest. With a frustrated growl, he rolled onto his back and pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes until he saw stars. This was never going to work.

He had no one to blame but himself for his insomnia. Really, it was pathetic, the way his mind had latched onto one silly little human and made her the object of his obsession. You with your silky hair and soft eyes, keeping him up until the morning hours. Your melodic voice rang in his eardrums, and every time he closed his eyes, he’d see that perfect skin of yours and wish it was pressed up against--

With a gasp, Loki swiftly brought his hands down to grasp the sheets in agony. He wished he could blame it on the fact that he hadn’t bed anyone in at least a decade, but he knew himself. Celibacy had never been an issue for him in the past; he wasn’t a teenage boy, he could control his needs. But you had him feeling like one all over again. The way he gawked at you like it was his first time seeing a pair of breasts nearly spill out of a way-too-tight tank top, it was downright shameful. You were just so innocent, so pure, and he longed to see that smile collapse into a pout as you whimpered against his lips.

Despite his best efforts, Loki could feel his cock throb in renewed need. It had been begging for release nearly all night, and Loki had successfully ignored it so far. He held steady in his determination in not giving in, but his resolve was slipping. Today has been especially tortuous. Tony and his goddamn insistence that Loki participate in team bonding. A day at the beach, one which Loki spent lounging in the hot sand shielding his eyes from the blinding sun. You had splashed around in the waves with Natasha and bounced around in a bikini that seemed specifically designed to torture Loki. The bottoms had shifted themselves to ride up quite a few times, and Loki had taken pleasure in watching you reach back with slippery fingers to pull them out of your ass.

Loki’s cock throbbed again, almost violently this time. He moaned softly into the open air. The sound was pained, and Loki felt his hand begin to drift towards the string of his pajama bottoms. They were silk, and because Loki had chosen to forgo underwear, the soft material felt like heaven against his swollen erection. Before his fingers could slip inside to where he needed them most, Loki ripped them away in defiance and turned onto his side, tangling the blanket between his legs as he rolled. The pressure of the thick comforter into his crotch made Loki suck in a surprised breath. His hips twitched upward of their own accord and Loki’s eyes fluttered in pleasure.

Loki could feel his will dissolving with every jolt of pleasure that swam up his spin. His mind spun with images of you: you curled up against him, reaching back with your dainty hand to pull him closer to you, encouraging him to grind against your backside. As if he was in a daze, Loki grabbed one of the many pillows adorning his bed and shoved it between his legs. The firmness of the pillow was so much more satisfying than the blanket, and Loki groaned.

It was over, he had accepted defeat. Loki was about to hump his pillow like an animal and it was all your fault. He thought of that wet bikini sticking to your skin, your breasts bouncing as you jogged back up the beach to him and breathed out a “what’s up” like he wasn’t about to cum in his swim trunks just from watching you. As the memories danced through his head, Loki’s hips began to roll in more deliberate motions. With every thrust, his cock pressed up against the soft material of his pants. Loki could feel the pre-cum wetting the silk, but it only served to amplify his pleasure as the damp fabric clung to his skin.

The buzzing of his phone startled Loki out of his fantasies, and he nearly wanted to throw the thing against the wall. Tony would get him a new one, as he always did no matter how many times that Loki had insisted they were unnecessary devices. As much as he wanted to let it ring, Loki had learned that calls at this hour usually meant an unexpected mission, and he’d be back on house arrest if he didn’t answer. Loki reluctantly leaned over to his bedside table to grab the vibrating object, keeping the pillow between his legs. His heart came to a near stop as he saw your name illuminated on the screen.

A few moments passed as Loki stared dry-mouthed at the caller ID, wondering when he had fallen asleep. Because the only explanation for you calling him in the middle of the night was that he was dreaming. Sure, you had texted him the occasional internet video that you thought he’d enjoy, but had never called him. And certainly not at five in the morning. With a hard swallow, Loki hit the “accept call” button and waited.

“Hey, Loki?” Came your tired-sounding voice. It wasn’t as gorgeous when muffled by the phone static, but it gave Loki shivers nonetheless.

“What is this about?” Loki tried to sound as irritated as possible, figuring that would be the proper reaction to receiving a call this early. The truth was that he was elated to hear your voice, and was disgusted by himself. A mortal, making him this weak in the knees, it was absolutely pathetic.

You were silent for a moment. “I’m sorry, I just couldn’t sleep. I-I’m not really sure why I called you, I’m sorry for waking you up. I’ll just--”

“Wait!” Loki burst out before you could end the call. His loud voice echoed back at him in the silent room and he cringed, hoping that no one had heard him. Loki bit his lip anxiously, uncertain of what to say to keep you on the line. “Um, I was awake. I couldn’t sleep either.”

“Oh, I guess that’s good. Well, not really good that you can’t sleep, I mean good that I didn’t wake you.”

Loki chuckled at your awkward ramblings. Norns, you were so cute. “Don’t worry, pet, I know what you meant.” As the words left his lips, Loki’s eyes widened as he realized what he’d just called you. Pet. It had been a slip of the tongue, but it brought forth a whole new round of fantasies. He couldn’t help but imagine about what it would be like to own you, to grab you by your pretty face and push his cock between your lips over and over. Absent-mindedly, Loki began to move his hips against the pillow again. He had to bite down on his tongue to keep from gasping. As quietly as he could manage, he put the call on speaker and set the phone down beside him so he could lie back on his side and resume his earlier activities. Loki knew it was so, so wrong to do this while you were none-the-wiser, but he couldn’t help it. He had been so worked up for so long and now it was like his body had taken over, hell bent on getting the relief it needed.

“So, why couldn’t you sleep?”

“Oh, just lost in my thoughts, I suppose,” Loki said as his eyes fell shut. His voice was the slightest bit strained, the soft drag of his pants against his cock making it hard to focus.

“Yeah, same here.” You sighed into the phone, and Loki heard a bit of rustling as you presumably got more comfortable. “I have trouble sleeping a lot, actually. I guess I just get lonely.”

A heavy weight of guilt sank into Loki’s chest. Here you were, opening yourself up to him, and he was trying to get off to the sound of your voice. He was truly depraved, that was for sure. But fuck, the tired rasp to your voice and the small sighs you let out were sending him sky high. His mind was running wild with fantasies of you under him, you in his lap, you up against the wall as he fucked you into it. Loki fought to sound normal as he responded to you. “I understand. Most beings are very social creatures, we need company to--ah!” A particularly rough thrust of his hips had caught Loki off guard as the mind-numbing pleasure rocketed through his body.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes, pet,” Loki said, panting as he forced his hips to still. “Just stretching.” It was a lame excuse, but Loki was too far gone to come up with anything better. His body quaked as he tried to keep still, like his own muscles were attempting to disobey his brain. Everything in him was screaming out for more. Cum, you need to cum. Once again, Loki was forced to give in as his hips resumed their grinding. The pillow itself was now damp with how much he was leaking, and it felt amazing.

The phone was quiet, and Loki could almost hear how hard you were thinking on the other end. And then: “Loki, are you...masturbating?” Your voice trailed off as you said that word. The sheer embarrassment was evident in your tone, and Loki was almost astounded at how bold you were. Not many humans had the nerve to just up and ask something like that.

Even through the shock of being caught, Loki could not find it in him to be surprised that you had caught on. You had always come across as intelligent to him, it was foolish to think he could fool you with a half-hearted excuse. Still, it was beyond humiliating to have been called out so brazenly. Loki saw no point in denying it; you would not have asked if you weren't sure. “Yes,” he replied, voice cracking as he froze in place for the second time. Despite the embarrassment, Loki’s erection did not not falter. In fact, it seemed that he only got harder. This mortal would be the death of him.

“O-oh!” You seemed surprised, like you hadn’t expected him to come right out with it. “I’m so sorry, I guess I interrupted you, huh? Shit, I’m sorry.” How absurd. Loki was the one shamelessly rubbing himself against a pillow while talking to you, and you were the one apologizing.

Loki found it intriguing that you hadn’t hung up immediately upon learning of his actions. You hadn’t seemed disgusted at all, just apologetic for interrupting his activities. Loki wasn’t sure if your lack of repulsion was what caused it, or if it was simply his need clouding his judgement, but his mouth began to move before he could stop it. “It’s excellent for sleep. I highly recommend it for nights like these.”

There was no sugar coating it; that was a proposition, no matter how poorly disguised it was as simple advice. “Um,” came your faint reply. Loki’s face burned as he pictured the look of horror you were probably wearing at the moment. And then he nearly swallowed his tongue as you spoke again. “Yeah, I tried earlier. Wasn’t really...working.”

A new gush of blood found its way into Loki’s cock at your admission. He couldn’t help but imagine you writhing on your bed, soaked in sweat and your own slick as you tried desperately to get to that crescendo of pleasure. His blush had somehow grown even stronger, and he couldn’t recall the last time he had even blushed at all. This mortal was killing him, you were his executioner and he was begging for you to pull the trigger.

“That’s quite unfortunate,” Loki managed through his reverie. He was still frozen, almost scared to begin his motions again for fear of cumming on the spot. His cock twitched in time with his racing heart, occasionally dripping precum into his pants. Loki was a mess, but he could not bring himself to care in the slightest. All that mattered was the arousal screaming under his skin and your intoxicating voice in his ears.

“Yeah. Sorry, should I go? And let you, y’know, finish?”

Loki racked his brain for an excuse to get you to stay. It was maddening, how quickly you had ruined him. Seduction was one of his many talents, as was manipulation. In the past, he would have had no trouble at all talking someone into his bed and onto his cock, but you were different. Every flirtation died on his lips the moment he was in your presence, and it was all he could do to form complete sentences as you turned his knees to jelly.

After an excruciating period of silence as Loki thought, he finally spoke. “It would be unfair of me to abandon you in favor of pleasuring myself when you cannot do the same.”

This time it was your turn to stay quiet. Loki waited anxiously, half-expecting you to just leave anyway. He had already come to terms with your disinterest in him, you were probably just being polite. But...you had called him. There must have been at least a slight attraction for Loki to have been on your mind after attempting to get yourself off.

“Maybe we could…” There was a tremble to your voice as you trailed off, and Loki held his breath as he waited for you to finish. Whatever your suggestion ended up being, he was ready to enthusiastically agree. Anything that involved you and pleasure was incredibly enticing. “Maybe we don’t have to hang up, then.”

Loki’s eyes went wide. Did you mean…? An involuntary moan fell from his lips as he shivered at the thought. “I would, mm, not be opposed to that idea.” Loki’s body had won over for the final time that night and his hips began to move again. After restraining himself for so long, feeling that delicious friction once again nearly overwhelmed him.

“I don’t really know how to do this,” you said. “I can’t really believe I actually asked you that.”

“Would you like instruction, pet?”

“That might help, yeah.”

Loki began to wonder if he was dead, and this was his version of Valhalla. Whatever the case, he was going to ride this high for as long as he could. Everything else seemed to fade into the distance: the chirping of birds outside as the sun rose, the hum of the traffic down below, all of it meant nothing. It meant nothing because you were on the other side of the phone asking for Loki to tell you how to touch yourself. Loki took a deep breath and tried to get a hold of himself; he needed to let you catch up before he could allow himself to lose control.

“I want you to get undressed, and get comfortable.” That was a simple enough command, Loki figured. If he started slow, maybe he could reign in his pathetic neediness and focus solely on your pleasure.

“Okay, I can do that.” The speaker went quiet as you presumably settled onto your bed and slipped out of your pajamas. “Now what?”

“Touch your breasts,” Loki said. His breathing was heavy, but even as he settled into the role of your instructor. “Rub your fingers across them, tell me how it feels.”

You sighed happily. “It feels really nice. Can you tell me what you’re doing?”

Loki was a bit ashamed to admit that he was currently grinding into a pillow, but figured there was no point in lying. “I’m, uh, I have a pillow between my legs, and I’m rubbing against it.”

A whimper burst from your lips. “Oh, that’s so hot.”

“Is it?” Loki asked hesitantly. He didn’t feel very attractive; slick trousers and sweat coated skin, fighting hard to hold it together.

“Yeah, fuck. Can I touch myself, please?”

Loki wanted to drag it out a bit longer, to tease you, but he couldn’t find it in himself to say no to that pretty voice. Especially when you asked so nicely. “Go ahead, pet. You’re such a good girl.”

There was a faint slick sound, then a drawn out moan. Loki groaned in response, the sound extracting a full body shiver from the god. He had never heard such alluring sounds of pleasure, you were just so far above any other being he had ever met. “That’s it,” he murmured in encouragement.

“Feels so good,” you said, voice growing high pitched. “Shit, I’m not gonna last too long. Ah, fuck. Been needing this all night.”

Loki sucked in a breath and began to thrust with more fervor. His eyes nearly rolled back at the pressure and his thighs squeezed around the pillow. “That’s okay, darling. I, oh--” Loki cut himself off with a strangled moan as his pleasure mounted. “I need to cum, too.”

For a moment, panting and whimpered moans were the only thing coming through the speaker. Loki prayed that you were as close as he was, because the coil tightening in his stomach threatened to snap at any moment. It was all he could do to keep from allowing his release to overtake him before you got yours. “Please, pet. I want to hear you cum,” he ground out as his eyes fell shut.

“So close,” you whined. “Loki, I’m gonna cum.”

He couldn’t help it. Loki’s control disintegrated as he began rutting into the pillow like a wild animal. His hips moved in sharp, quick thrusts, and quiet moans left his lips with every movement. ‘Cum--fuck, mm--cum for me, love.” He was going to cum, he couldn’t stop. He just needed you to finish first.

The phone crackled as you let out a sharp cry of pleasure. Loki listened in a trance, trying to memorize every noise that left your lips as you climaxed. Your sounds spurred him on, and he found himself tipping over the edge, cumming harder than he had in a long time. Pleasure whited out his vision, and Loki could faintly hear himself whining your name in a broken voice. He didn’t get the chance to be embarrassed about the noise; his cock pulsed in dizzying waves of euphoria, spurting out rope after rope of hot cum. It shot into his pants, soaking them all the way through and seeping into the pillow. It wasn’t until the last drop had left his body that he was finally able to stop the groans that had been bubbling up from his throat.

As the pleasure subsided, Loki sagged against the bed and took in the mess he had made. His pants were ruined, no doubt about that. And the pillow? Well, it would most likely need a few good washes. But he felt sated, too relaxed to even care about the cum drying to his thighs.

“Are you still there?”

Fuck, he had almost forgotten that you were still on the phone. “Yes,” he croaked out. “That was…”

“Amazing,” you finished for him. Though you couldn’t see him, Loki nodded in agreement.

The bed suddenly felt very large and very empty after the daze of Loki’s orgasm faded. He found himself wishing that you were here, so he could wrap his arms around that perfect waist and bury his nose in your hair. It was an incredibly foreign feeling; Loki had never been one to cuddle after sex. But then again, everything about you was different. You were special. Loki opened his mouth, ready to invite you to his room, but something stopped him. What if this had been just a spur of the moment thing for you? What if you only saw him as a tool to get yourself off?

“Would it be weird if I came down there?” You asked, startling Loki out of his thoughts. There you went again, calming his anxieties before he even had the chance to feel them.

A relieved grin broke out on his face, and his heart sped up again in excitement. “No, I would very much enjoy that.” And for the first time in a very long time, Loki felt wanted.

#loki x reader #loki imagine #mcu #marvel #smut #needy!loki #my writing #fanfic

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from-a-reckless-writer · 3 years ago

Text

here's me jumping into the bandwagon :D

(read on ao3)

It's just after sunset when Kara finally gives in. She veers off from her patrol down to a route she knows by heart.

The moment she lands, the first thing she notices is how the sliding doors are a fraction open. It’s a small thing, nothing to even be thrilled about, yet still, her drumming heart cannot be helped.

"Knock, knock," she says, stepping inside.

Her heart turning anxious when she takes in the sight in front of her. The room is a mess; books on the floor, drawers open, Lena’s frazzled appearance. She's standing over a suitcase thrown open in the middle of the bed, a mountain of clothes on top of it.

She was told that Lena was going on a trip, that it would probably take three weeks tops.

Packing for a trip doesn’t look like this, this looks a lot like... leaving.

Going on a trip, Kara remembers that’s what her family told her too.

You and Kal are going on a trip but you don’t have to worry, we’ll be with you the rest of the way, they told her.

A trip implies there would be a home to come back to. And Kara believed it. She believed it for a total of ten seconds before her planet exploded and a shard of her home knocked her off-course.

"Need some help?" Her voice doesn’t tremble. Kara considers that a miracle, really.

"I didn't know Supergirl helped poor hapless women pack suitcases,” Lena retorts, walking over to her and kissing her cheek in greeting. It doesn't go unnoticed by Kara how clingy Lena's been since she's been back.

"Well, I wouldn’t exactly consider you poor and hapless," Kara counters.

"I may have had a slight,” Lena pinches her thumb and forefinger together, “panic over which and what to pack earlier.”

Yeah, Kara can definitely see that.

"Good thing I’m here then?”

"It's always good whenever you're around,” Lena says in such a casual way and it’s like the past year didn’t happen. As if it has always been this good. And...is this even allowed? This much affection from Lena? All the sweet words, the gentle touches, and the constant close proximity? It shouldn’t be allowed, not if it will be taken from her almost immediately after.

Unfair, is what it is.

******

“Okay, so why don’t we just move this out here yeah?” Kara voices, leaning over and hugging the lump of clothes to her chest, dumps it out from the suitcase and onto Lena’s pillows.

Lena’s fabric conditioner filling Kara’s senses entirely. For a brief moment, she considers stealing one of Lena’s shirts then and there. Something to tide her through once Lena leaves.

“Great. You’re on folding duty then,” Lena declares, “I’ll just go sort my babies, quickly. I’ll be right back.”

(Her 'babies' being the thick books lining every inch of this place.)

Lena disappears through the door. The domesticity of it all pulling at Kara’s chest.

In another world, where life ran a little differently, Kara would be packing their suitcases for a trip to Argo, or maybe one of the planets she’s always wanted Lena to see, or maybe it’d be nothing that grand. Maybe, just a trip back to Midvale. Lena would read to her on the whole drive there, her hair whipping from the winds down coastal roads.

Maybe not even a trip. Maybe in this other world, she’s assigned on folding duty, while Lena tinkers around their house. Maybe, even a dog or a cat. Maybe, something small at first, just an aquarium of fishes.

She doesn’t notice how deep into the fantasy she’s gotten till Lena speaks up from the door.

"My, my, CatCo would pay a million dollars to see this."

"Uh-"

"Supergirl found in bed, folding Lena Luthor's undies."

Kara looks down at her hand. She’s holding a lacy purple panty, she spots the matching bra laying a few inches away. She drops it lightning quick, feels her face flush.

"Oh, Rao. Lena, I'm so sorry I didn't mean to- I wasn't- It was just there and I-"

"Relax, Kara. I was just teasing,” Lena reassures her, she’s got three books tucked in her arms, she lays them down on the bed, before picking up the underwear Kara’s dropped and folding it neatly.

The contrast of the dark fabric against Lena’s pale fingers makes Kara flush an even brighter red.

Kara tries hard to exclude Lena's lacy panties in her fantasy.

She fails.

******

They give up on packing entirely two hours later. An all out pillow fight breaks out somewhere between Kara fishing out her favorite hoodie from the pile--discovering t'was not in fact missing like she thought it was--and Lena denying that she stole it.

They’ve fallen right on top of Lena’s clothes. Laying opposite each other, Lena lying upside down, her feet propped up on the pillows, toes touching the headboard, whilst Kara’s legs dangle at the end of the bed. Their heads close together.

From this angle, she can see the defined slope of Lena’s nose; stares at the way her lashes curl every time she blinks.

“So, what do you think you’ll find there?” Kara breathes out into the silence.

“I don’t really know,” Lena whispers.

“Let me rephrase then; what do you want to find?”

“I- I don’t know either.”

She tries to crane her neck to take a better look at Lena. Her eyes are closed, and it takes every ounce of self-control for Kara not to lean over and just press a kiss to Lena’s lips. It would be so, so easy. She settles for shifting just a bit closer instead, their temples touching.

It’s good enough.

“That’s okay," Kara murmurs, "not knowing is part of the adventure, right?”

She tries not to think about how she isn’t really part of this adventure. It isn’t about her, really. Kara’s decided the next three days will be about Lena. Kara will have time for breaking down once Lena leaves. The three days pales in comparison to how much Lena’s sacrificed in getting her back.

“I guess so.” she hears Lena say.

On the ceiling, Kara sees two shadows dancing with each other, tries not to look too deep into it.

And then,

“I had Jess trace down a couple of documents for me,”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. There’s an orphanage that could help me, she thinks.”

Kara’s ears perk up at that, she imagines Lena as a small child crying for her mom and then being whisked away from everything she ever knew. Kara wishes she could hold that little girl’s hand. Why did nobody hold Lena’s hand through it all? Kara wonders if somebody did, would Lena even have met her? Would she have needed somebody like Kara in her life? She likes to believe that Lena would still have met her. A reality without Lena was too painful, Kara knows all too well.

“Is that where you’re going to visit first?”

“Yeah.”

A brief silence engulfs them.

“Hey, Kara,” Lena calls out. “Do you think-”

There’s a deep exhale and a sigh.

“Do I think what?”

“Do you think my mom would want me to find her again? Do you think she’s proud of me?”

The question was so full of uncertainty and insecurity and there's nothing that Kara wants more than to just wrap around Lena and tell her how goddamn amazing she is.

“Oh, Lena," Kara whispers, "your mom would be so happy if you found her. I’d even say she’s been waiting for you. And of course, she’s proud of you!” Kara sits up at this, can’t contain all her awe for Lena.

“You’re amazing! Have you met you? Your mom would be so proud of you. I just know it, Lena.”

Lena opens her eyes, smiles shyly at her, reaches up to cup Kara’s cheek. Even though the angle is awkward, Kara feels her entire being light up at the touch.

“Thank you. You always know just what to say.”

Kara's right hand comes up to keep Lena’s hand steady, before tilting slowly to press a kiss to her palm.

She registers the up-tick in her heartbeat before letting go and laying back down again.

Kara’s beginning to understand, now. Lena doesn’t want to wonder anymore, maybe if she knew where she came from, who she could’ve been, and what kind of life she could’ve led, existing wouldn’t be as hard as it is now. Maybe Lena wanted to know that a Luthor isn’t all that she is. Even though Kara has repeated again and again that she is so much more. Lena needs to figure that out for herself, Kara guesses.

Maybe, Lena finally needs a name other than what has been ingrained in her. Maybe Lena needs to name the parts of herself she never had before.

“Maybe you came from a family of thieves,” Kara murmurs, closing her eyes too.

“Kara.” she feels Lena shift, she opens one eye to see Lena propped on her elbows leaning over her. “Are you saying you think being a hoodie thief is genetic?”

“You never know, Lena you never know,” Kara manages to say, her brain a loop of, Lena’s eyes are so pretty, so pretty, so pretty, her hair smells so nice, please kiss me, please kiss-

Kara closes her eyes again to make the chanting stop.

“You do know I'm a scientist, right?”

“Mm. Doesn’t make you any less of a hoodie thief.”

That earns her a pillow on the face.

“Personally, I think you’re some lost princess though," Kara divulges.

Lena lets out a loud incredulous laugh at that.

“What?" Lena blurts out, "You think I’m a princess?”

There’s a cheesy pick-up line there somewhere that Kara chooses to ignore.

“Well, you have the whole Snow White look down to a T, after all. Pale skin, dark hair. The whole ensemble really.”

"I can't believe I'm agreeing to this," Lena groans, “but, I think you might be right. God, I even have the whole evil stepmother-stepbrother dynamic down. Does that make you one of my dwarfs?”

“Dwarf? Really? Lena, really?”

She’s glad to learn that Lena had picked up a thing or two from their Disney marathons. That doesn’t mean Kara appreciates being called a dwarf though. She sits up and leans back on her elbows too; their faces inches from each other now. Lena’s eyes gleaming with mischief.

“You turn into Grumpy when someone eats your ice cream.”

Kara gasps, clutches her heart as if wounded and falls down dramatically. Lena just laughs at her, lies down again before asking, “Think I’ll find Prince Charming there, then?”

“You don’t need Prince Charming.”

I’m right here.

“True,” Lena agrees. Lena doesn’t need anybody, although would it really hurt if she says that she needed Kara the way Kara needs her?

“Ireland seems like the best place to run off into the sunset though," Lena wonders aloud.

“Is that what you wanna do?” Kara asks, “Just run off into the sunset?”

Because, because, if it is, I can do something even better. I can fly you off into the sunset. All you have to do is ask. Her heart is galloping in her chest and she’s grateful that out of the two of them, she’s the only one with super hearing.

“No, I don’t think so,” Lena answers and Kara lets out a none too subtle breath of relief.

“You don’t have to search for a home, you know,” Kara whispers. She just- She just needs Lena to know this, okay?

“I know,” Lena answers. “I still need to do this though.”

Once Lena Luthor makes up her mind there’s no changing it, it’s something Kara’s come to know through the years.

“You’ll come back soon though?”

“Maybe. Honestly, Kara? I don’t really know about ‘soon’. How close is ‘soon’ anyway? Would there even be a good reason for me to come back?”

How Kara held her all screams in the moment Lena said that, she doesn’t know.

******

There are balloons and cake and confetti but it doesn’t feel anything remotely close to a party.

It feels more something along the lines of, train wreck and heartbreak and building on fire. In short, disaster.

She vaguely registers Kelly asking her to hover and hang the banner. Why would she want to hang a banner screaming “We”ll Miss You!” in glittering blue? Kara grabs the ends of it and hangs it up anyway.

We’ll Miss You doesn't even begin to cover Kara’s feelings about Lena’s departure and oncoming absence.

But then again, this isn’t about her.

The door buzzes before Kara can spiral down her blackhole again.

Andrea comes in through the door with a bottle of champagne, which she hands off to Kara along with her coat. Kara fumbles after Andrea.

This isn’t CatCo! I’m not your employee! And champagne? Really? What is there to celebrate?

Lena arrives shortly after and streamers are let out. They make in-jokes and everyone’s laughing and Alex keeps telling Lena to bring home ‘some of the good stuff’ and Brainy keeps asking if he’s allowed to tinker with Lena’s projects while she's away, and Nia’s handing Lena an old film camera, “Document everything for me? Alright?" and Kara’s trying, she really, really is.

Even though she can’t understand how all of them are happy and smiling at the thought of Lena leaving them.

She doesn’t even notice what she’s doing till she’s bracing herself for take-off out in Lena’s balcony, when a hand lands on her wrist.

“Hey.” Lena anchors her back to the ground. It’s a mistake to turn and meet Lena’s eyes.

“Stay? Please?” Lena asks.

Unfair, Kara thinks again. It’s unfair that she gets to ask that.

******

Kara stays.

She stays till the lights are off, the blankets drawn and Lena’s snoring in her arms.

She’s eyeing the suitcase at the corner of the room.

I forgive you, she thinks, I forgive you for taking my heart in the suitcase you packed.

She didn’t even know it was trapped inside till Lena’s zipping everything up and Kara couldn’t breathe.

“Please, please, don’t go,” she pleads into the dark. .

Lena shifts, mumbles incoherently and burrows deeper into Kara.

******

The runway is shimmering after the early morning drizzle, and Lena Luthor looks like someone from a magazine, standing there in her velvet coat and aviators. There’s only the two of them, and there’s a smug pride in Kara about the fact that Lena didn’t want anybody here but her.

She’s leaving today. In a few hours, they’ll be on different continents. Kara wouldn’t be able to trace her heartbeat anymore. Lena made her promise not to chase the plane. She’s still pretty bummed about that.

“You know I’m gonna call you everyday, right?” Kara mutters in her ear, arms wrapped tight around Lena.

“I wouldn’t expect anything less from Kara Danvers.” Lena squeezes back, before pulling away.

“G-good.”

“Well, this is my ride,” Lena tells her, gestures to the jet behind her. “This is goodbye then.”

“For now.” Kara insists.

“For now.” Lena confirms, “Goodbye, for now.”

She turns to go but Kara can’t-

“Lena, wait.”

She tugs on Lena’s hand and she comes back to her willingly. Before Kara loses the nerve, she presses into Lena’s lips. She cups her face gently, feels the warmth of the sun on her cheeks, feels the moment Lena’s brain catches up to what’s happening.

It doesn’t taste like goodbye, Kara realizes. It tastes like a promise of something more.

“What was that for?” Lena breathes out, Kara can hear their hearts hammering in sync.

“Your reason to come back home.”

[special shoutout to @mssirey who gave great writing advice to this poor hapless writer（〃｀ 3′〃）i kith u on the forehead. ]

#if u see a typo no u dont #the reckless writer writes #a supercorp ficlet of sorts #here have a super self-indulgent fic before the next disaster of an ep drops #sg spoilers

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