#i need to be out of this state.
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oldestenemy · 11 days ago
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oh sometimes. sometimes reading my own notes is a bad plan.
#I want to feel better and I never do.#I want to be less angry but I never am.#Failed as a parent.#It always comes right back to that fucking statement.#I was so afraid of losing my father that I dug myself back into the closet.#And I fucking lost him anyways.#But at least he’s not his own fucking parents.#At least there’s fucking that.#I don’t think I could handle any of this if he was.#like sure him and me#we are very very very very bad at communication. But at least we say words like adults most of the time.#We do not do the rick and lucille tactic of passive aggressive vague bullshittery.#We manage.#They don’t.#That is the key difference here.#I have no more fear#no more obligation#no more fucking loyalty to this family. Not to this section of it anyways. I will not continue this fucking cycle.#Give me eighty degrees of separation. I’ll take it.#I want to be in fucking space if it gets me away from them and the way they look at me and talk to me and act around me.#i wish i was concise and clear like kaleb and gigi both are#but i am not#brother and i both are silent creatures#born of our father and raised in his image#isn’t that just hell of its own making#i am going to be thirty years old in a handful of years and that doesn’t feel right.#i need to be out of this state.#i need it like i need air.#i need to know what i want beyond that though#because i cannot be expected to simply climb through the unknown ranks of time listeless and empty as i have been for the past five to seve
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hinamie · 5 months ago
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post-graduation trip airport looks
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noodles-and-tea · 6 months ago
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twins in time continuation of that blue doodle comic thingy, but fidd is forced to take care of stan when Ford gets into the portal stuff, leaving him behind.
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I reckon he teaches him math…
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captainjonnitkessler · 2 years ago
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I truly, TRULY do not know how to say this, because the fact that I have to say it makes me feel like I am losing my grip on reality. But no, in the post-capitalistic anarchist utopia, I will not be relying on “autistic minecraft girlies” to be building inspectors because - and this may shock you - one of those occupations takes years of education in how to read and interpret hundreds of thousands of lines of regulations based on complicated math and physics that were the result of decades of tragedy and death, and the other one involves playing a children’s video game.
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serpentface · 1 month ago
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The pylidaigh, a type of vampiric snow ghost, as imagined in folklore in and around the Highlands.
This is a ghost believed to come into being when a person dies in the snow and their body is not found before their soul (still trapped without its funeral rites) 'freezes' inside of it. The body then reanimates into a pylidaigh's twisted form. It looks like someone who slowly died of starvation, just a thin layer of flesh over bones. Its skin is as white as the snow itself, so pale it can blend seamlessly into a blizzard. Most of its body appears subtly stretched and lanky, save for its exceptionally unsubtle long, skinny arms, which drag on the ground behind it when it walks. After a big meal of blood, its belly swells like the abdomen of a tick.
A pylidaigh can only tread across snow and ice, and so doorways and windows are best kept clear of snowfall during the winter in order to prevent it from reaching inside. It mostly comes out to hunt during blizzards when there is little that can prevent it from catching its victims.
In spite of its fragile appearance, a pylidaigh is supernaturally strong, and can run at great speeds when it wants to. No mortal weapons can pierce its body, nor can any bonds known to craftsmen hold it in place. It is usually said that chains forged like iron but made out of ice can bind a pylidaigh and render it immobile, but this smithing technique remains tragically elusive to the average joe.
This ghost is either cast as a wildly dangerous but tragic figure, or one that is more simply malicious. In either case, it is described as experiencing nothing but bitter cold. It shivers endlessly. It retains distant memories of what it was to be alive, and it is motivated by a futile desperation to experience the feeling of warmth again.
In more sympathetic framings, it is described as using its freaky gibbon arms to capture its victims and pull them into an embrace, rather innocently trying to warm itself against their body. This inevitably fails, and the embrace becomes a bone crushing squeeze. When that too fails to warm the ghost, it rips out the person's throat and drinks their blood until the victim is as cold and drained as the pylidaigh itself.
In other cases, this more pitiable narrative of a ghost seeking warmth with no comprehension of its actions is discarded in favor of making it purely monstrous. Here it is a type of vampire with an insatiable thirst, practically a physical manifestation of the worst of winter itself. Some tales acknowledge both variants, suggesting a pylidaigh's violent attempts to warm itself may be initially devoid of malice, but turns into an act of furious jealousy of the warmth of the living after years of suffering.
The only (more or less) surefire method to permanently kill a roaming pylidaigh involves trapping it with fire. They are attracted to any source of heat, and will attempt to warm themselves with the flames (if not tempted away by a juicy living human body). The fire itself cannot kill them (as the sheer cold of their body is more powerful even than flame) but they can be trapped if kept near the fire long enough for the snow it depends upon to melt. This does not kill the pylidaigh either. The monster will remain in stuck in place (and potentially become a threat again if it snows more) for the duration of the winter. Only when the spring comes and all the snow melts does it revert into a normal human carcass (though mysteriously invulnerable to decay), at which point it can be cremated.
Pylidaigh in the wilds also revert to a human corpse during the snowless seasons, but will roam again each following winter unless it is burnt in the interim. It is of critical importance that any human corpse found in high mountain pasture is cremated- not only out of respect for the poor soul trapped as an earthbound ghost, but to prevent the threat of the possible dormant pylidaigh emerging next winter.
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bookalicent · 6 months ago
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yeah so this was insane
#i feel like too many people reduce this interaction to jason being like ‘lol same’#but idk :/#this chapter is from jason’s pov#and leading up to it he’s like ‘people keep walking on eggshells around me bc of the the michael varus stab wound’#and he hates it so when he goes on deck to help out with the storm#everyone’s like wtf except for percy#and jason states how much he appreciated percy not treating him like a sick kid#and i feel like it’s echoed in this sentiment where jason could say so many things like#‘you should never feel that way’ ‘im here if you need anything’#but he doesn’t make percy feel alone in his desire to just…. end it all#which ik for some people that doesn’t work but you’re not a character in hoo and percy is dealing with so much guilt#and he can’t tell annabeth bc she’s a main aspect of that guilt#and he doesn’t wanna guilt her more and he feels ashamed and when he describes this he feels weird for feeling it#so having jason this tough guy be like ‘yo i understand it bc i felt the same way#that’s gotta mean a lot to percy#also insane how jason who also struggles to display vulnerability#allows it in one of few times in this moment just so percy this guy he’s supposed to be jealous about#feels comforted and not alone in his guilt and shame#and also it’s just insane how jason’s wanting to kay em ess does not get talked about AT ALL#and just seeing his mom and the pressure of new rome getting to him#like this scene is insane and i’ll never shut up about it#also ignore me i’m just finishing my reread of hoo that took all summer#jason grace#percy jackson#pjo#ashla.txt
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mumblesplash · 1 year ago
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part 2!!!! [read part one here]
transcript below the cut arranged into stanzas to help show where the rhymes are:
“that’s why they brought gem in? as a failsafe?” as a pawn. we were told to point her at whoever we need gone
“gem won’t hurt her allies. …yet.” the curse she carries will it’s had its eye on her since she lost the other eye she was specially selected for her hunting skill it’s quite the high honor. “wow. how generous.” we try
think about it: why does almost no one fight the curse? “given how fast scott killed skizz last season, i can guess.” [“any pain you spare your friends, you’ll have to suffer worse”?] it’s designed to shut down higher reasoning with stress
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 3 months ago
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Bonus 13: Beware the Grapes of Wrath.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#wen qing#wen ning#WWX's main weapon as the Yiling patriarch is considered to be 'Wen Ning' - which makes sense as far as the whole necromancer thing goes.#However...That *is* Wen Qing's beloved baby brother!#In her perspective WWX skipped town for a few days (or so) and took WN with him#only for them both to show up bloodied and in a state of disarray.#There's no way he told her he was going out to duel Jiang Cheng. For several reasons.#He doesn't want to involve her in his messes anymore than he already has.#It's less that she would try and stop him and more so that he honestly wouldn't even think to say something about it to her.#WQ and him aren't partners in this situation. He actually openly disregards her opinions several times.#Wei Wuxian's emotional distance from everyone around him is a big part of this arc.#Like all good tragedies...his biggest flaw is his hubris. He doesn't *need* anyone when he's so capable on his own.#He doesn't need to ask permission when obviously this is the only way forwards.#He has to do it all on his own! No one else needs to be involved!#And if you've been in the position of realizing you have a problem of toxic self-reliance - you know how harmful this mindset is.#It's why it's so satisfying to see WWX in his 'new' life start to let other's share his burdens.#I will die on the hill of 'love means carrying each other's weight. All a burden means is that I can give you support and you support me.'#YLLZ is less 'competent and sexy' and more 'depressed and can't see it'.#Another lovely nod to the main theme here is how he starts leaning more and more into the rumours about him.#Though we are also still confronted with how these rumours fail to actually live up to reality.#Rumour has it the Yiling Patriarch is undefeatable. What a shame if that rumour turned out to be untrue!
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cockworkangels · 1 month ago
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tried really hard to capture some of his whimsy
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hiems-incaelo · 2 years ago
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people saying that they enjoyed Nimona until the kissing scene, that it "made it gay" and that it "pushed the agenda" as if the movie wasn't queer from the START.
five minutes in, ambrosius told ballister he loved him. an hour in, he said it again! nearly every interaction they had was so blatantly romantic, I truly don't understand the people who think that the final kissing scene "made it canon", because to me, it was obvious in their very first scene.
ballister saying that nimona is his friend, and ambrosius responding "aren't I more than that?" ballister insisting throughout the movie that ambrosius will listen to him and be on his side, saying "you shouldn't NEED proof, you know i'm not a murderer." not to mention the fact that it's been canon since the comic came out.
I can't take anyone who says that final scene "made it gay" serious, because they obviously didn't watch the rest of the movie. and I find that quite sad, because they're missing out on a fantastic storyline.
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goldengodcannibal · 4 months ago
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I am sitting here analyzing this gif frame by frame because I legitimately haven't stopped thinking about it.
The way Mac's face goes through so many expressions at once. Surprise, realization, hope, desire, desperation. He's looking Dennis in the eyes and then he drops clearly right to his lips and then back to his eyes. The way his shoulders relax as he breathes out. The softening of his face and the upturn of his brows. He wants this so bad. He wants Dennis so bad. The way his lips part. How he's being drawn into Dennis. He's ready for this. He's been ready for this his whole life.
And Dennis? We can't see his face, but his hands. The firm grip on Mac's face and the way his palms gently slide back across his cheeks, dragging along his facial hair. The tiny miniscule brush of his thumb. The flex of his fingers settling on Mac's neck as his hands settle down toward going around his neck. And if you look at his head? There's just the slightest tilt and he's LEANING IN? He's pulling Mac closer?
My tummy hurts so bad.
(GIF from @thelosthighway)
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screwpinecaprice · 11 days ago
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Oh oof I slipped and hit them with dark and serious beam. 😣
#connverse#Connie Maheswaran#Steven Quartz Universe#Steven Universe#This had been WIP for almost a year and has been edited a bit some days ago#I did not pick up on it now to see if I can edit further though. I'm just going to leave this at that#This was inspired by a dream I had about watching a post-apocalyptic(?) anime movie about two survivors going through their lives#Apologies if that one was yapped before in this blog. Trying to keep repeating statements already mentioned before is a habit I hope to avo#Anyway. It was almost a dialogue-less movie. actually not sure if the characters did say anything#The movie doesn't explain stuff to you. You just got dropped in a world and experience with the main characters for a few days#In the dream after watching that movie I went to Tumblr (naturally. Lol) and theories about it popped out#And there was a connverse cross-over fanart of it. Lmao#One of the main characters was EXTREMELY calm and stoic. And the connverse AU version of it was that's because Steven is in a comma and his#Pink mode activated as a defense mechanism against the creatures around while in such a state. 😭 So Pink Steven from Change Your Mind#And like. Oh? What if he's conscious? He's just watching his body have a mind of it's own and he can't control it? That's kinda terrifying#And of course like most of my dreams about shows I enjoy. I woke up before I could dream more about it. 😵#my shiz#skedoobles#SU#SU AU#also implied Pink Steven I guess#pink Steven#I rage-stopped drawing this because I know what needed to be fixing but the fixing I've been doing isn't fixing it. Lol#I'm specially frustrated with Connie's bangs and eyes. And like. Man. I'm just going to stop it right there before I make it worse.#It does make sense she has a bad haircut given the dream's setting. But it was not decided that was exactly what this drawing is about.#Also I'd imagine Steven to be having a full beard if that was the case.#Anyway enough yapping I have to get some sleep. Lol#Ohmygod just realizeddd. the in-dream movie sounded like I was describing 'Angel's Egg' jshsjajdbdjfbskkd Haven't seen that film in a while#My dream's movie had a Studio Ghibli artstyle and pretty colorful. But I would actually really like the somber vibes in Angel's Egg#for this AU though. 🤔🤩🤩
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annabelle--cane · 2 months ago
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yall know me. you know my takes on season four of horror drama podcast the magnus archives. you know that I'm passionate about giving every character a fair shake about how they interact with jon because, even in cases when they are ultimately misguided, they are all written with easily legible motivations that go beyond "being evil for fun," and I do this in part because people have a tendency to be especially especially rancid about all of the female characters. you know this about me. but christ on high, sometimes when I listen I do want to get in a tight-knit hand-holding circle with them all and say well what did you THINK would happen?
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kevjeanyves · 2 months ago
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i just got here (and by that i mean i binged the whole show while studying for finals between november and december), but buddie can’t NOT go canon. not at this point. not with everything they’ve set up
bucks canonically bisexual. that’s a massive key component. the queerBAIT is now lying entirely on eddie’s shoulders. and in terms of bucks storyline, the horrible guy he dated was given a barebones personality…that resembles eddie (military, likes sports, had a serious relationship with a woman). almost every trait they gave That Guy resembles eddie (except eddie isn’t racist). they did that on purpose. buck, bothered, bewildered, bisexual or whatever it’s called was so centred on bucks relationship with eddie
plus the whole confessions “i’m not your last” moment, only for the LAST shot of that episode to be buck and eddie sitting side by side. confessions as a whole is such insane proof of impending buddie canon too…the whole focus on eddie finding joy, on eddie’s catholic guilt and guilt in general, on eddie not wanting to See himself both figuratively and literally because he’s scared of what he’ll find…josh’s speech applying to eddie but making no sense regarding that Other Guy (the glee thing made no sense regardless)
and THAT focus is so obviously pointing towards eddie being gay. eddie’s entire everything has always pointed towards him being gay, i can’t lie, but it’s getting so much more obvious. they’ve reached a point where nothing about eddie’s personal arc or journey makes any fucking sense UNLESS he’s gay, and every storyline is making it more obvious that they’ve realized it
his catholic guilt being brought up. not wanting to be intimate with a woman who represents god in his mind. sex, god, and shame all coming together in that episode, AND bobby bringing up that eddie does this thing in relationships where he makes excuses instead of examining how he really feels towards them…now im sure bobby doesn’t know eddie’s gay, but it invites the audience and eddie to examine his past behaviour towards female romantic partners. and every single thing about that priest/juice scene in confessions. catholicism guilt tied into sexuality again (“uh…n-no offence…i-im straight” to a priest like cmon)
and speaking of past relationships, eddie’s grief is at the forefront of his storyline too now. his main most pressing storyline being chris’s running away. eddie’s grief and complicated emotions towards shannon have always been something he struggles with, and in s7 we learn that chris has complicated feelings around his mom too. and at the end of s7…well. what a stupid fucking storyline, but grief is the driving force of the chasm between eddie and chris. this addresses the most important romantic relationship eddie had with a woman (obviously shannon), and hopefully the relationship he has with his son, and both of those people are excuses eddie might be making in his own head to justify not even questioning his sexuality. eddie and shannon had chris when they were teenagers, eddie’s been a dad literally his entire adult life. does he know he can be gay if he’s been married? if he has a kid? does he know he’s allowed to even question his own sexuality? it’s probably what michael felt, but more complicated
AND michael stayed with athena thinking she could “fix” him. eddie said in s7 that he thinks he’s broken and can’t be fixed, to a woman he’d been unadvisedly pursuing, a woman who looked just like his own wife…
then, the “you think being a cheerleader makes your son weak?” storyline. cheerleading is seen as feminine and there are a lot of stereotypes about male cheerleaders and feminine men. both cheerleading and being gay are seen as feminine. the cheerleader called eddie “dad” and hen pointed out to chim that it his emergency is difficult for eddie because he misses his own kid AND the conversation with the cheerleaders dad where he relates it to his own current situation, which connects the storyline to eddie and chris. but the “you think [stereotypically feminine thing] makes your son weak?” brings eddie and ramon to mind. because eddie was raised to be hypermasculine and Not Weak, never weak. what would ramon think if eddie comes out as gay?
and, finally, the focus on eddie finding joy. on eddie doing any introspection at all. on eddie Seeing himself and understanding himself and being kinder to himself. on eddie realizing he deserves to be happy. on eddie realizing he doesn’t have to hide behind his (ridiculously adorable) moustache, that he doesn’t have to hide who he is
s7 was for bi buck. s8 is for gay eddie AND likely for buddie. eddie’s currently trying to see Himself and make amends with his past (and because that went badly, making amends with chris…the child he sorta partially legally gave to buck, in a way…). buck’s trying to not lose hope over the future, wondering who’ll be the last to love him (or wondering if he’s loveable at all). eddie’s true self AND bucks endgame are called into question at the same time…now maybe i just got here But
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bunnieswithknives · 19 days ago
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Spent the last billion hours inventing fictional foods and brands for my OCs to enjoy
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artuurle · 1 month ago
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Siiighs.... here's Crumb's official little design page thing after a few days of rotating them. They are wearing generic clothes in the second image (and doodles) so i can show off their weird limbs. Not quite just human anymore but also nowhere close to divine. Warped by the rift into something they can't recognize as themselves- at least not yet.
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Worst vacation ever, 0/10 wouldn't recommend to my worst enemies.
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