#i need something reliable
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Has anyone ever bought used/refurbished electronics before? Trying to figure out if this is the sort of thing I'm going to regret later.
#i just want a decent laptop that won't die on me in less than four years is that so much to ask?#and the refurbished ones are cheaper but more importantly i can get an HP laptop without giving HP money directly. because boycott.#i hear good things about HP laptops lasting longer than dell. which is what i have now and regret buying.#i just hope buying a refurbished one doesn't mean it'll randomly die faster#because laptops seem to hate me and this just keeps happening. i'm tired and frustrated. no more fucking dell.#my current one is 1.5 years old. just got the keyboard repaired only for the fan to break. i will get it repaired later#but as a backup because i don't trust it anymore not to promptly break in other ways#i need something reliable#gahhhh#hylian rambles#advice#tech support
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I wish she had more scenes... Whateva
#dungeon meshi#rinsha fana#kabru#tumatawart#dont tag as ship#? Do people still use that these days#**SPOILERS in the tags I will ramble a little.**#I like how they have opposite ways of thinking with their shared environment shaping them greatly. I wanted them to talk about it together#Kabru just separates from the group for the rest of the series when the Canaries arrive without any reaction and I was like What...#Maybe briefly entrusting Rin as the party leader since in his eyes she's the most reliable... Having her do things her way.#Not necessarily showing how they fare. Thatd get messy but a slight change in dynamic after they come back together in the finale dinner#Maybe I need to reread I might be missing something u__u
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I'm literally crying, my little brother accidentally figured out how to break Franziska.
#aai#ace attorney investigations#miles edgeworth#franziska von karma#it took us a minute to figure out what was causing it but we've managed to replicate it pretty reliably#it works on the other side too#something about spinning in place and then running away makes her pathfinding implode#I need to finish case 5 first but I will update on whether this works in the DS version
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sorry to ask again but I only have $8 and the only food in my house is potatoes and yogurt, I have no lunch food for work next week 😭 I only need $55 to be able to buy myself some groceries until I'm paid in a week and would very much appreciate the help!!
venm0: ben-cg
p@ypal: benccg
#sorry the over $300 in vet bills recently really fucked me over 😭#but its summer which means 40 hr weeks so 🤞🤞🤞#even tho next paycheck will have to go to finally registering my car.....#the paycheck after That can go to savings#except of course something else will inevitably happen#ah I need a new job with more reliable school year hours huh....#anyway. uhm I would love to be able to buy some bread at least 🙏#ghost posts#text
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and the thing is you should never kill yourself.
#emyrs.txt#pete wentz#there was a raffle and i. didn’t win anything. 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔 but that’s ok. love wins.#also fell a bit in love w vienna vienna.#bought his ep. the world is so beautiful.#pete was wearing some grinch-like pants. i need him so badly. who said that.#wait ok.#a woman standing in front of me won something. and pete pointed at her. said. ‘you behind the ryan ross hat’ and the guy wearing the#ryan ross hat. laughed. yelled ‘sign my band pete!!!’ and pete. laughed also. and said ‘that’s the most on brand ryan ross shit ever’#<- i have been reliably informed that i misquoted this interaction. sorry for spreading misinformation 💔#anyway. the world is beautiful. everything’s gonna be ok 🫶😍😁
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I got- I can't!
Imagine being 15, you've grown up your whole life with this one belief in this one God and you were told you were Chosen by Him, for Him. And you're 15. You believe so fully in the spirit of your religion, not necessarily the word, that you want to go to a non-religious school to try and help other kids maybe find your God because you genuinely believe that could be helpful to some of them, because it's all you know, and it's helped other strangers (human trafficking victims she helped in the black pit before) so why not other kids her age? You're 15 and all you can think about is helping others. And you start thinking about your religion, and reading books, and asking questions and you come to the conclusion that maybe your God and His Father aren't actually all that great. Maybe the church you're in has done some really bad things that you can't possibly make up for. Maybe that church is still doing bad things. And then you find out your family is actually in a cult for that God, not just part of the normal church, and you suddenly have to undo all the cult shit in your brain you were raised with, while that cult stuff you know about is actually useful to your friends, like having that knowledge is helpful for them! You're 15 and you stop going home. You have no real adult supervision or carer, just your other 15 year old friends.
Imagine you're 16, you're gay and figuring that out on top of navigating your first full romantic relationship and being the sole creator and cleric to a new God that you honestly find to be very two dimensional and empty. You're on a quest to find an evil being and stop them. You nearly die. Your friends nearly die. You're 16. You're 16 and feel something calling out to you, you know it's divine because you've felt that sort of pull before, but you've never felt one like this. You find memories and hints and pieces and you figure out that the evil being you have to stop, isn't evil, she's just hurting. She's hurt and She's a God. She's your God, and she's so happy to see you, and she has so many ideas, and so many hopes.
You're 17. You've spent your rest time (summer vacation) tearing across the world chasing down and defeating another evil thing that you and your friends accidentally released in the first place. Your God is with you, you have no time for Her. No time for anything but trying to survive and stay sane. You know She's disappointed in you, but you're one person -ONE PERSON- and you're 17. You missed your birthday. again. You've saved the world; again. You're so fucking tired -like always. You're Chosen, and alone, and have no idea what to do with your life, let alone your God. You aren't very good at school, but you go to every class. You're drowning as you try to rewrite your understanding of the world from what you grew up with, having no idea how to do anything without a book and godly hand to guide you. You only ever followed before, your new God is demanding you Lead. You don't know how. You're only 17. You see your horrible, abusive parents spitting abuse and racist rhetoric at your baby brother, who you haven't seen in two years, on the front steps to your school and for the first time ever you are filled with righteous fury. Your God answers your call, not knowing what you need but so eager to help, eager for your attention, she starts talking to you but you're busy -why can't she understand that you're fucking busy? trying to not die, trying to be safe, trying to keep your friends alive, trying to navigate a world that hates you, you're 17 and you're busy goddammit just wait!- and she snaps back at you and flees. The next time you see Her, maybe an hour later, She's got a creature with Her that nearly destroyed you and your friends last year sitting in her lap, so smug to see you again.
You're 17- no, 16- no, 15 years old and you're expected to build and carry the world on your shoulders, Chosen from birth, raised a lamb to follow a Shepard, not to be followed behind. You have no one and nothing and everyone expects everything and you can't back up, you can't pause because if you do someone dies and doesn't come back. You have to be a hero, a chosen, a saint. The steps behind you crumble to dust with each step you take forward and the new one is already cracking under your weight. There are only wrong choices. There's no hand reaching for you. God, you were taught, will save and guide you. God knows best. Why is your God looking to you, a mortal human, to be saved, raised and guided? You're a child.
You're just a child.
You just want to go home, wherever that is. You thought it was your God, but She's not exactly helping you out either, is She? She's just disappointed. Like everyone else. Like you.
You're 17. You think it would have been better to never do any of this. It would have been easier to stay, blind and naive. Sometimes you think you should have stayed in heaven. Sometimes you think about the God you killed by not being good enough for it. Sometimes you lay on the floor and stare at the ceiling and pretend you don't exist for awhile. Sometimes you work your body so hard you forget it's there and your mind shuts up and you exist without being you. Sometimes you wish you never asked any questions or read any books. You're 17, but sometimes you wish you were 15, with no idea yet.
You're 17. You wish you were good enough.
#dimension 20#kristen applebees#fantasy high junior year#fhjy#d20 fhjy#fhjy spoilers#dimension 20 fhjy#dimension 20 fantasy high#d20 fantasy high#dimension 20 spoilers#words#can you tell my religious trauma is popping off?#I have big feelings about kristen#she's just a kid man leave her alone#it's not fair for a god to expect a child to be able to perform what many adults do over many years in just the span of a few months#yeah it's not fair cassandra has had the lot of getting a child for her only cleric but like#she reached out to and accepted kristen! she the God here! it's like when a grown adult expects a toddler to know to not run into a road#without being taught. that's a baby#she's gonna run into the road many times until someone takes her hand and kindly teaches her to not#kristen litterally needs some kinda reliable help. she knows there's something wrong and that she's fucking it up she just literally doesn'#know how to fix it! someone help her!!!#fantasy high
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so HEY UH
WAS ANYBODY GOING TO TELL ME THAT DURGE AND ASTARION REALLY DO HAVE THE SAME TRAUMA OR
WAS I JUST SUPPOSED TO FIND THESE PARALLELS OUT FOR MYSELF
OH OKAY YOU ALSO WERE TRAPPED AND HURT YOURSELF TRYING TO CLAW YOUR WAY OUT?????? YOU ALSO WERE THE SPECIAL LITTLE PET OF THE PERSON WHO TORTURED YOU, WHO IMMEDIATELY STARTS TALKING DOWN TO YOU THE SECOND YOU SEE THEM AGAIN?????? OKAY. YEAH. WE CAN COMPARE NOTES IF YOU’D LIKE.
#ALSO ALSO. THE *WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME.* THE BEING TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF WHEN FOUND DYING. I M#SCREAMING#DURGESTARION NATION. WHERE ARE YOU. I NEED YOU.#DURGESTARION NATION PLEASE#THIS IS A DURGESTARION POST I CANNOT STRESS THAT ENOUGH#DURGESTARION ;—;#IT’S ABOUT THE PARALLELS IT’S ABOUT HOW SO MUCH OF WHAT THEY’VE BEEN THROUGH IS THE SAME#IT’S ABOUT THE BEING A TOOL AND A PET FOR SOMETHING MORE POWERFUL THAN YOU IT’S ABOUT THE BEING MADE TO SOMETHING MONSTROUS#BEING MADE TO BE A WEAPON#A ND IT’S ABOUT THE CYCLE BREAKING TOO OKAY#WAAAAHHHHHHH#MY RUN IS ABOUT ONE THING AND ONE THING ONLY#AND THAT THING IS THESE TWO SUPPORTING EACH OTHER ABOUT FIGHTING BACK AGAINST AND GETTING FREE OF CAZADOR AND BHAAL RESPECTIVELY OKAY#bg3#the paranoid android speaks!#also listen am i cringefail at naming video game characters? yes.#my durge is an elf i pulled up an elf name generator and picked the first thing i could reliably pronounce what do you Want from me#bold of you to assume i don’t name my actual d&d characters like this too
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#something is very obviously different about these two compared to my normal images on this blog. i acknowledge this#also the sv model is Really good. and since they always stare straight at the camera anyway… and no one pays attention to the background…#and the only high-quality phantump model i could find was so horribly shiny that its eyes were just white voids#in my defense‚ phantump always just stare straight at you in game#the lighting is different‚ yeah. that's probably the dead giveaway. beyond the background. but like. i'm the only being on the planet who#really likes phantump anyway. i feel like it's a generally forgettable pokémon to most folks#phantump#HELLO this one is a weird one. i have some explaining to do. so when i did this one i didn't know how to edit models really at all#and when i got the models for these‚ the xy models were super shiny. shiny to the point that it made their eyes fuckin invisible#and i decided that since you could barely tell it was phantump‚ i needed a different way to get these images#i remembered that in the SV dlc‚ every time you find a wild phantump‚ it just fucking. stares. at you. and i was like. aha#i kinda remembered because of the test stream that i did. tumblr user alligayytorr (am i getting the right amount of Ys) said#“haha i am getting a sneak peek” when i zoomed the camera in on a phantump. and i remembered that. and i was like. i can utilize this#and ended up using just an in-game screenshot of SV in replacement of the regular content. later on‚ after that#once we got into gen 7 and it became less and less reliable to find models‚ i had to learn how to edit them manually to remove the shine#i am a software dev. not a 3d modeler. this ended up coming down to editing the code of the models directly (which i ended up writing a#script to automate). now‚ today‚ january 22nd (the day of me writing these tags and updating this post)‚ i remembered this post was in the#queue and was not normal. so i went back‚ ran the script on the phantump and trevenant models‚ and unshinified them#then edited these two posts to be normal. i have left the original pictures i took under the cut for reference and as bonuses#because i really enjoy phantump. so that's why those images are there‚ and that's why these tags are here#just for posterity's sake‚ the folks who come here mostly for my commentary‚ i've left the ORIGINAL tags of the post when i initially#made it with the SV pictures up at the top (i wanted to rearrange them‚ but tumblr makes that Very difficult‚ so i left them as-is)#so if these tags are confusing to read i Apologize. but i hope now that you're at the bottom you understand what happened#i'm gonna go edit the trevenant post now
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despairful day. remember to take comfort in anything that brings you joy. for me, that is Binah. for you, it might also be Binah. that is alright. she has hugs enough for all.
#project moon#lobotomy corporation#library of ruina#binah#binah lobcorp#binah library of ruina#i have sworn to myself that i will keep going#that i will try to have something that sparks delight#it will be difficult#but who will do the things we do#who will make the things we make if we are gone#in troubling times think of everyone you love#binah is there. sitting with a cup of tea#queequeg is waiting patiently to embrace you for she loves the feeling of you in her arms#for those who follow the bus. your coworkers are there too#yi sang is a quiet comforting presence#faust will tell you facts to get your mind off of events#don distracts you with stories. or perhaps she just sits with you and knows what despair feels like#ryoshu will show you how she paints. just this once#meursault is steady and always reliable if you are in need of anything#hong lu messes with your hair however he can with a smile#heathcliff allows you to lean on him. for he is warm and comfortable#ishmael.#rodion paints your nails and offers to help with your outfit. anyone's nails can be painted#the tick of dante's clock is slow and soothing#sinclair can exchange tips to not wallow in nervousness#outis is more lenient. she carves wood did you know?#gregor's not sure what advice to give you. but his voice is calm and soothing#this became long#good. it needed to be
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Omg your instagram story is so right! I can’t believe I’ve never even noticed that, probably because in fanon keith and shiro are so close that I’d forgotten that isn’t canon :0
Deserves this awesome quote which I had to dig out of my sideblog reblogs
#for context - i was complaining how under-served we were to listen how much shiro did for keith and how amazing their relationship is#and then were forced to watch him just recruit him for school and be a decent teacher#like any teacher should#i mean....#any.#like he was just showing basic decency for not throwing Keith away for bad behavior#keith acted as if that man hung the moon#as if he was reliable... took a few punches that were meant for Keith ....risked something for him#wanted to give up his liver or something#gave up his last food in the apocalypse to feed him i dont fucking know#Keith acted as if that guy literally saved his life and we got scenes where Shiro is emotionally manipulating him to stay in school#or to become a leader#never really asking how he feels about it or if he needs help#i thought twice before saying Keith attached to a pile of shit because it was warm#but not thrice#i've re-watched season 1 of Arcane and was so mad about it i couldn't hold it in djdjdjd#i do think they could have a good relationship but what we were /shown/ was just not it too many plot holes to fill#love that the fandom can fill the discrepancies and rewrite those relationships though#and also i was really glad people answered to that story agreeing#i was feeling weird reading all those 'keith and shiro are my fav relationship in the show'#...lance was more warm to the mice than Shiro to Keith '#i feel like it owuld make more sense to me if keith did all of this WHILE being pissed at Shiro for leaving him#or if we saw he finds him unreliable - Shiro was only useful to him as long as Keith followed his rules too#Vander doing all he did for his daughters that shit was unconditional fucking love#vi and jinx never being able to off one another had more raw pure love than that#you know what i mean??? sorry im doing it again.... end of ramble#mezzy out 💀
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tiny yoichi (unwillingly) lures out soldiers by being his helplessness little self so his brother can strike
#bases are the most reliable way to find food afo found!#yoichi is crying bcuz he pitys them <3#not because hes nervous#im gonna be honest i made this idea up on the spot when drawing this#pewdiepies new art video awakened something in me I NEEDED TO REMIND MYSELF I CAN STIL DRAW BANGERS TOO#i didnt disappoint myself!!!! competitiveness is my enemy and my bestie literally#anyways his right eye was an absolute horrendous nightmare to draw it was going so well until i did the hair then it ruined the eye#i actually thought yoichi was wearing shoes at this age but then i looked back at those chapters and realised yoichi was shoeless#WITH ONLY A BANDAGE ON HIS FOOT??!?!!?!? agony#can yoichi not make me wish he had something good in life for ONE SECOND#think of this as like how he responded to afo killing those people that (presumably) beat yoichi up beforehand#we dont know if hes crying because his brother is killing or if he was crying before being 'saved'#ill try do some fluff art soon ive been really interested in body horror related art lately so i wanted to play around!!!#i have a BUNCH of ideas written down ive yet to do#i just keep doing whatever i feel like#i am the master of ignoring the instructions and winging it#mha#my art#yoichi shigaraki#one for all#my hero academia#first ofa user#shigaraki yoichi#mha yoichi#tiny yoichi#tiny yoichi in his shabby little clothes#ive actually been dying to draw tiny yoichi again but KIDS ARE SO HARD TO DRAW!!!!!#i had an art moment though#HALLEJUHAH#art gods had my back fr
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Another funny thing is reading how many people wanted Lennon&Dylan to be a new team, especially John. Not only that didn't happen but Dylarrison became a thing instead, making John feel both rejected and replaced.
#dylennison is something I need to think about more#in a way. Dylan was almost like John 2.0 in George's life. Someone he looked up to but Dylan was reliable when John wasn't#of course George never intended to replace John but it happened in a way. or at least John saw it that way#george harrison#john lennon#bob dylan
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finally finished all of one character's entire quests/optional dialogue/questions/etc.... 100,000 words... .... aughhh
#Given some of it IS lines of code and stuff but like.. minus all that it's still probably at least 85 - 95k words hhhhhh#AND I have to do this for another 3 characters. Then a few partial quests for 3 others. THEN the other random misc stuff in the game#(like there are public areas in the city like a park and a forest that you can go and do a few things at. and chat with a few random#townsfolk that aren't actually full characters or anything. And there's a community board where you can#browse some of the random job advertisments or silly things that happen to be posted around#and also pick up a few odd jobs of your own to help earn coin to buy gifts for the npcs. etc. etc.)#Originally I was thinking like 'ah I'll make a short little game just to try it out! :3 It'll take maybe a few months!''#haha........................hee hee........................................hoho#Also evil that it would have been done already if I didn't totally drop itand stop working on it for like 5 years randomly#i could have made 5 years of steady slow progress gradually. instead of like 'one initial idea dump + about a month of art and writing'#...... 5 year break..... 'sudden mad dash to try to get probably 400.000 words written in a year or less' lol#I just really want to be done and have something out there already so it can lead to doing other things in my world..!!!!!! T o T#Like this can be an introduction and then maybe from that I can make other games. or short story anthologies. or other such things#But there needs to be some initially not very complex easy to interact with starting point first I guess... if that makes sense#That's part of why I stopped posting worldbuilding lore dump stuff as often because its' like.. massive walls of novella length#text are much more inacessible to engage with than like.. ooh a game! and there's characters! so its more approachable! and theres#visuals! oo! and the text is broken up in small bits line by line with other things in betwen! oo! etc. etc. lol#Not that THIS is even very accessible. I think dialogue heavy interactive fiction/visual novel type stuff is pretty niche and considered#boring or tedious compared to something with more ''gamplay'' like where you can actually move around in a world#and shoot things or whatever lol. But its an inbetween point. something SLIGHTLY#more accesible for now. Since i just dont have the budget or means or ability to make some skyrim type thing obviously LOL#Though maybe if theres any interest in the visual novel that could lead to making other things too. or at least I hope. I have a VERY cool#idea for a more ''gamey'' type of game that is a super fun concept and etc. but I would need to hire at least 2 people to make it.. ough..#I could do all the writing and probably half of the art. But I think I'd inevitably need a 3d artist and someone who can Code For Real hbjh#the system for ren'py (the thing I'm making a visual novel in) is not that complicated if you stick to just simple dialogue and stuff.#Making a whole moderately sized 3d game with minigames in it and a bunch of quest features and etc. would be out of my simplistic scope#''just learn it yourself!!' ... i barely manage to eat and sleep reliably every day lol... i do not function well enough to spend months#learning that many new skills. I already have a lot of of things I'm good at (not in a braggy way but just factually like.. i already have#a wide variety of different things under my belt).. at some point I have to just be happy with what i CAN already do and focus on that#and admit I need to get outside help sometimes ghjbh... NO more new skills/hobbies!!! ... ANYWAY
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how many times do i have to teach step up and recall to the same bird.
#well i keep misjudging how long he needs until something sticks with him and it might be...forever#maybe for him stepping up reliably and comfortably is somethkng he will have to actively practice daily for like. years#or maybe just weeks. if i actually didnt get lazy and think hes fine now each time#pennapost#winston
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Man buying cameras is so frustrating because it really is a game of ''if you just spend a liiiiiittle bit more you can get much more bang for your buck'' until you realize the ''a little bit more'' is 3.000 reais (without lenses)
#its fine to get the r50#ive been beating myself over the head with it but its FINE#its literally my first fucking self-bought camera that im not renting or something#for a reliable thing that shoots 10-bit thats. fucking fine I dont need IBIS I dont need fucking clog#is it a shame it doesnt have clog? yeah. Its decent fuck it#this is making me fucking sweeeeat
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the white persian that keeps showing up in our garden is in really really bad shape. i can't stop sobbing
#it's our fault because we should've done something sooner‚ taken him to an animal shelter#neither my mom's friend or my friend who said she could take him in later are reliable at all. this animal needs urgent help#i don't know what to do it's a sunday nothing is open and it's all SO fucking expensive it makes my head spin#i can't stop crying to be honest#kata.txt
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