#i need someone to give him a gun
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wintergreenoreo · 22 days ago
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Pt.4 || pt.1 pt.2 pt.3
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lailuhhh · 25 days ago
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Hi friendly reminder that this is what Mac looked like when he and Jack met
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wiseheartted · 3 months ago
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Personally, I hate season 3 Will because they reduced him into his almost two years of his lost childhood and wanting to be a kid again, which is true and we can see it when he destroyed Castle Byers because he is not a child anymore. But also they completely forgot about Will’s trauma in the last two seasons, Will is more than D&D and has A LOT of trauma to uncover, they started a new era in season 3 (costumes, lighting, scenarios) and kind of forgot about the main plot line. Will has trauma, a lot, and all this time they were asumimg it was over. Remember, Will still feels the Mind Flyer nothing is over and it never was.
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anisohtropy · 2 years ago
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kaveh’s really pulling the words out of my brain. this wip was supposed to be just quick practice writing kavetham before I start on my howl’s au for them, but it’s not done and it’s like 13.5k? what’s going on? how did I get here? this isn’t even a complicated wip it’s just my take on kaveh’s participation in the championship event 
idk something about depressed blonde man is making my brain go whrrr and kick out bangers like “guilt is as natural to him as breathing” and “the difference between martyrdom and surrender is nothing on the scale of the universe” like who comes up with that? not anyone who isn’t still unstable from finals that’s for sure anyway I’m almost done with it so watch out
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deer-with-a-stick · 1 year ago
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I think someone should just throw all of the BG3 companions into Dungeon of the Mad Mage. Just take the post-canon generally considered "good" endings and throw em in there.
Why? Because it would be hilarious to me and also that's like the one official module that goes up to level 20.
I won't lie and say the only thing I can think of is the team trying to kill an angry mechanical purple worm while screeching at Gale because "what do you mean we're in Waterdeep and you know the bastard who owns this death trap?? I was perfectly alright in the damn Underdark thank you very much I did not sign up for this"
#my vampire companion has been dead for possibly over 200 years#and we would like to revive him please#sometimes i think of the fact that gale knows halaster blackcloak personally and cackle to myself#you know what's also a fun thing to think about#cleric capstone is basically you've got a deity speed-dial for your needs#to not mention true resurrection in GENERAL#or WISH#gale realizing that he's fairly close to the power level of a chosen of mystra now like :0#karlach is probably like “HELL YEAH I CAN HIT MORE THINGS” while being extra stronk#i thought the idea of monster hunter ranger wyll or something along those lines was compelling so he gets to speed run his level ups#lae'zel angrily hacking away at enemies like “FUCKING DAMN IT I HAVE A REVOLUTION TO GET BACK TO GET OUT OF MY WAY”#tara mysteriously being utterly unhampered by the teleportation restrictions like “quite a kerfuffle you've found yourself in mr. dekarios”#halsin gets to live as a bear 24/7 with druid capstone#astarion would like to make sure his gaggle of vampire spawn don't kill anyone but also the promise of Stab and Feral are highly compelling#if minthara's here she's just vibing. blood guts and gore. her favorite. now stop wasting her time and let her kill you#someone should give lae'zel a gun even if so she can reenact that 200+ damage in one round event with percy de rolo#lae'zel deserves a gun#so does shadowheart and karlach#if i gave gale wyll and astarion a gun i think the recoil would kill them actually#str 8 gang lmfao#baldur's gate 3#bg3#baldur's gate three#bg3 spoilers#gale of waterdeep#bg3 gale#astarion#bg3 wyll#wyll ravengard#karlach bg3
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triglycercule · 2 months ago
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i love doodling swapinverse like hello drawing characters aside from the normal mtt is lowkey therapeutic 🧡🧡🧡 anyways i FINALLY FINALLY finished crash's lore!!!! and vice.SER is connected to him,,,, theyre interconnected!!! i forgot how much i liked crash's design (not the design but all the little gimmicks in the design. figuring out all the hanging ribbon bits is annoying but hey it looks good)
#outertale does not exist in swapinverse anymore. how quaint#dude thalia and melpomene are th only ones that r like. 100% good#I NEED TO MAKE MORE GOOD AND NICE CHARACTERS😭😭😭😭#mst..... recreators (qip name 4 siphon n crash?) and vice.SER........ theyre all EVIL (or have evil goals)#i WAS thinking doing something with reaper because i adore his design and aesthetic and i wanna combine it with SOMETHING idk what#anyways if core frisk error which is supposed to be vice.SER exists then should normal core frisk exist too?????#i mean i dont think that just because a core frisk role esque person exists doesnt mean the role is instantly filled up#the mst and mtt co exist in swapinverse but those 3 are like.... NORMAL aus. not outcodss n stuff#i love the giant lance thing i gave crash. i mean the ribbons can form any weapon and take any shape (kinda like puella magi mami's guns)#but like..... it just is so cool i love characters that use multiple weapons#i LOVE (haha) every single little gimmick thing i give swapinverse characters. the tiny details is what i adore giving them#if you catch me not posting 4 a bit its probably just bc im working on swapinverse or jk fashion au. or maybe ive seriously just lost motiva#anyways i have a few banger rants in my drafts ive yet to elaborate om but just like....... i dont feel like it#someon needs to wrangle those posts out of my tired lazy arms#lowkey why do siphon and crash remind me of kanade and mafuyu. idk i cant explain#if you cut vice.ser in half it would be like jelly with binary in it. i wanna eat him#he would tingle on my tongue but thats just the static. eating yhe glasses would be difficult bit they dont have lenses so its ok#i drew them both looking at us but i think that vice.ser is the only true one always looking at US.looking out from inside#god i love swapinverse sooo much i wish i could get it done faster and be goatedly good with motivation. a shame#but i do think that i may be finishing up the character descriptions 500% ish sure#SO THEN THAT MEANS I CAN WORK ON THE ACTUAL STORY!!!! WOOOOO#ive already decided that theres gonna be mentions of me myself and i in it. i love meta storytelling#im cursed with perpetually sweaty hands i hate having to draw on slighty damp paper. nobody understands me#UGH im getting too happy in life im starting to act weird in public and offering to help people. i need to stop#anyways just school doodles!!! because in the period where they take our phones i have naught to do but draw#i need to get back (start) my english reading. and then help my friend with a few questions on her homework. how joyous#and then i can get back to my BETTER homework (working on swapinverse :3)#crash managed to destroy outertale in his lore i wonder how many worlds vice.SER will destroy#actually if hes supposed to be core frisk error then i should make him NOT destroy worlds right???? right#tricule rant
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skoulsons · 2 years ago
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the father-daughter relationships where they start off pointing their weapons at each other not liking the other to literally flying home together in the span of like…two days. or less. no but really. I’m dying over here.
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blerghie · 2 years ago
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sp actually isn't the second male lead, because in the end he does, in fact, get to be with the mc for all of eternity, in a weird timey wimey jeremy bearimy sort of way
thus, the real second male lead of orv is actually sun wukong. in this essay i will
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jonny-b-meowborn · 1 year ago
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look I am fully aware that I'm the weird guy here for being into whatever Jarod has going on but honestly I sometimes wonder. Did the developers do it on purpose. Did they know that they're making him kinda. Y'know. Like I'm sorry for being a lil freak but some of his lines are just like. It feels like they knew what they were doing
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waywardsalt · 6 months ago
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linebeck is probably so god damn paranoid all of the time
#like not even just. oh he's probably an anxious guy. hes def at least jumpy and his way of living puts him at risk of monster attacks#hes got some other person on the sea just straight up gunning to kill him whenever she sees him#he probably spends a lot of time agonizing abt how he should act in front of people on islands and putting his stories in order#linebeck#phantom hourglass#he has a crate in his ship near the wheel that he uses to hide in he likely struggles with fighting hes completely alone#he clearly does all of his ship maintenance alone and knows how to do it- but he does all of it alone#you know he's got some serious anxiety problems at the least. no fucking wonder he looks so rough#i imagine he prefers people who help him feel at ease like people he could rely on to protect him and keep an eye out#having link around lets him relax for sure though i dont imagine his paranoia gets too much better#in post ph having something of a crew around is a big help to like. help him relax and deal with all of those other mental illnesses#i imagine linebeck is generally kind of nervous and needs a friend. like those cheetahs with support dogs#in the bellum x linebeck fic linebeck's paranoia and issues around being alone and at risk are p important?#linebeck finding out that bellum is following and protecting him gives him a fuckton of peace of mind#linebeck seems like hed really benefit from hanging out w/ someone who makes him feel comfortable enough to be vulnerable#hes likely introverted but god he needs a friend to keep him from being on edge all of the time#salty talks#hes probably a lil better on islands? or at least islands with people on them. at least then his ship is in less danger#i was just thinkin abt this recently. like the idea of a short fic abt him just being fucking paranoid pre-canon#like a scene of him mopping the deck and. thinking. and spiraling really easily and becoming paranoia very quickly#he has issues <3
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hussyknee · 5 months ago
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Ranil also tweeting at Trump about condemning political violence today. I can't believe this Batalanda Perethaya's political career spanned 50 of the country's bloodiest years and not one useless fucknut ever managed to get in a decent headshot in between murdering ordinary people.
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beast-of-the-void · 5 months ago
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#My little sister is an asshole- dad was warned by mom when she was like 14 and he did nothing by mom of all people#she's callous-hurtful-abusive-underhanded-crass-and somehow draws people to her despite giving the aura of “toxic”#He was asking me if I liked the new car-I said no because she was in it- that she didn't bother meeting my eyes nor greeting me#Only reason she was driving was to rub it in that “daddy loves me the best- look at my car he bought me”#It has taken every ounce of restraint I have to not look at her son and tell him every beating I've taken because of and on her behalf#But that is between me and her until it isn't- I hated being pitted against my parents even when they were being vile#Dad's excuse for letting it all happen is that he wasn't the one in the crosshairs cuz somehow that negates the EVIL she did to us#I have been made aware of TWO other instances besides mine of her literally trying to get someone to off themselves- unforgivable#Makes me wonder if she has gotten away with it before and is chasing that high again- I'd like to think not but I am not discounting my gut#I really wish that at least one adult in my life had given a fuck about how we were going to end up- one emotionally mature adult#Then! Dad tried to defend himself about pulling a gun on her ex- like taking a dog was worth a fucking life- give me a break asshole#If you cared at fucking all about the kid you wouldn't have immediately sided with the monster just because of shared blood#But hey- I'm the one that needs to inherit the shitshow from him- if I outlive him- Kinda hope the universe is spiteful and lets me off 1st#Is having a place to get away from this so I don't have to rely on them so much to ask for? I don't want their affection anymore#I really want out of this family- I don't even want to help the kids anymore- does that make me selfish?- I don't know#I have been trying to talk to babysis about any of this given our small bond- but it's so gd fleeting- we're all terminally lonely people#I long for a place I have never been- people I haven't met- warmth I've never known. spirituality has nothing for me#neither does the mundane#Let me get this story out of my head and hands and we'll circle back to the topic of escape. I just want to sleep now- so I'll do just that
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sonic the hedgehog tumblr dashboard simulator
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💠 extremegayr Follow
got held up in traffic today cause some noob couldnt drive the fucking loop-de-loop. lmfao fucking coward
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🎛 420zone Follow
ok but robotnik's kind of a dilf tho
🌫 wispgender Follow
he's literally a war criminal can we NOT do this tumblr
🎛 420zone Follow
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📰 its-no-use Follow
@wispgender dont u literally simp for nominatus like who is one to talk
🌫 wispgender Follow
NOMINATUS ISN'T REAL????
🛜 viralsensation-destructorofworlds Follow
that you know of
🌫 wispgender Follow
what
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🔷 sonicinthewild
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☣️ lineinthesand Follow
saw sonic the hedgehog irl once. he showed up at my village, released 30 feral pickys in the town hall, paid the ice cream vendor roughly a thousand rings for a single chili dog, told me not to waste my life worrying about the little things, and then caused a fucking tornado
🧿 spiralhillspindash Follow
ok and??? you're not special
☣️ lineinthesand Follow
THIS WAS A PERSONAL POST GO AWAAAAY
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🌠 chaoinspace2electricboogaloo
sucks that sticks the badger hates all technology you know she would do NUMBERS on here
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☸️ r0u3e Follow
being an islander be like "are those the kind of eggsplosions i should worry about or the kind of eggsplosions that are gonna repair our crops, fix the economy, and bring my dead grandma back to life"
🌁 eggpawnkindathicctho Follow
being a continenter be like "oh great what primordial diety has risen from the grave to block traffic and fight a 15yo today"
🥭 chao-official
being a chao be like "chao chao chao chao chao"
🌁 eggpawnkindathicctho Follow
you said it my mans
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🏵 sprinkles-the-chao Follow
hold on if sonic the hedgehog is jewish then how is he santa claus
🤖 e123-omegaverse Follow
dont question him
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☣️ sparkygoboom Follow
hey guys real question are human/mobian relationships problematic
💠 extremegayr Follow
op is about to start the anthro church schism of the fifteenth year all over again
🛞 mobotropolis Follow
ok but in all seriousness did your mom never teach you that part of history
🎢 marxiobros Follow
someone doesn't know about the united federations public school system
🛞 mobotropolis Follow
what the fuck is a public school
⏭️ drowningmusic Follow
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⚄ paradoxprism Follow
are we gonna talk about op's chaos radiation fetish
💠 extremegayr Follow
OP'S WHAT NOW
🏞 mobiancrossing Follow
ok but am i the only one who thinks that the public school system would be a good idea if handled right? like i know it's traditional to learn from your parents and then experience the world on our own from the ages of 7-13 but like combining all our knowledge and learning together doesnt seem like a bad idea
☠️ fabian-vane-number-1-hater Follow
bitch that's what the internet is for
🌅 s0leanna-apple-barrell
yeah where else am i gonna learn to make infinite chaos emeralds
❇️ freesurge Follow
"infinite chaos emeralds" that's called the phantom ruby
🏳️‍🌈 rainbowwispforgayrights Follow
everybody on this site has brain damage
❇️ freesurge Follow
yeah. from the radiation
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🐸 froggysfriend
caught this today
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🏝 digginginthegroundfortubers
if anything happens to this blog i genuinely hope eggman blows us all up as punishment
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🐊 teamchaotixofficial
Hey guys! Sorry to do this again but rent's a little tight this month :( If we've ever solved a case for you guys or made you guys smile, please consider sending a ko-fi our way! we just need a few rings to get through the month <3
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🖼 give-the-koco-a-gun Follow
do we ever talk about that time the sky turned blood-red and shadow the hedgehog's demon dad descended from on high to murder us all and we only barely survived
❤️‍🔥 songoose4evr Follow
shadow fixed it it's fine
🎮 n0cturnity
yeah that was like twelve apocalypses ago move on
🎆 robotniksbignaturals Follow
kinda wanted to bang black doom tbh
🖼 give-the-koco-a-gun Follow
THE DEVIL???? FROM THE BIBLE????
🎆 robotniksbignaturals Follow
yeah. move over gayboy i'm boutta be shadow's new dad
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🗑️ berrybarry
starting a conspiracy that time hasnt moved since 2006
🗑️ berrybarry
why the fuck was i shadowbanned after posting this
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🤡 clownfinite Follow
tfw you finally save up enough rings for ice cream and you go outside and get hit by swatbot pieces and the rings just go fuckin everywhere
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🔷 sonicinthewild
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🌌 h-o-l-o-l-y-n-x
so did y'all see that genesis wave or was it just me
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🆙 planetsgiantcrack Follow
the virgin tweeter "if you use a bad word in the same tweet as the word 'cream' you get obliterated off the site" vs this chad site of "i want to put knuckles back in a microwave"
💟 presidentyaoi Follow
BACK????
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⬜️ chao-and-wisps-4-ever-so-cute-2 Follow
ok posting my first fanart to this site pls be nice! <3
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🌔 emeraldfwuitgummy Follow
why does tails look like he's always about to say "it fucken WIMDY"
🦊 miles-prower-official
Hello, @emeraldfwuitgummy!
I actually quote that image on a constant basis! Sonic thinks it's hilarious every time. He's quite the fan of memes, and it's nice to get a laugh out of him!
Formally,
Dr. Miles "Tails" Prower, PHD
🌔 emeraldfwuitgummy Follow
SO WAS ANYONE GOING TO TELL ME THAT TAILS WAS ON THIS FUCKING SITE OR--
🏅 iwishhumanswerereal Follow
do. do you not know he created tailblr. dude it's in the name lmao
🌔 emeraldfwuitgummy Follow
he
WHAT
🍭 milfwisp Follow
didn't eggman invent this site???
🪫 veganswatbot
THE EGG ABANDONED SCRAMBLR IN ITS TIME OF NEED AND THE FOX RAISED US FROM THE ASHES. YOU WILL NOT DISRESPECT HIM
🦊 miles-prower-official
Hello, @milfwisp and @veganswatbot!
Very good question! This site was Eggman's until I ate his bones. Thank you for engaging! :D
Formally,
Dr. Miles "Tails" Prower, PHD
🌔 emeraldfwuitgummy Follow
YOU
WHAT
🌭 sonicsays
what's not clicking
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noisilyscreechingsong · 29 days ago
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Disney princess Danny
It’s known that animals can sense death. Instances where pets gravitate to someone on their death bed and dogs barking at ghosts. Danny already knew this from before he half died, so he was expecting animals to rat him out with their sixth sense or become aggressive or cower from him. Instead, they all behaved the complete opposite than he anticipated.
Stray cats come running to rub against his legs, dogs nearly pull arms out of their owners sockets to get close to him, birds bring him trinkets, raccoons lead him to trash cans full of food, and even squirrels and rats get close to just sit on his shoulders. It’s… weird, but not unwelcome. He always loved animals.
Danny had come to semi-trust the animals that come to him. They know where the good food is and drinking water, they know when to steer away from a certain area right before something happens, and they always know when a person is bad or okay. So when an animal leads him somewhere, he follows. Sometimes they need help and he’s the one they go to. He’s helped plenty of raccoons out of garbage bins and cats out of gutters to have a good relationship with the animals of the streets.
What he isn’t expecting is to be led to Robin again and again.
The first time it was a cat. A mangy old Tom cat that rubbed against his torn up jeans and looked back with - Danny swears- a raised eyebrow. Danny follows and soon enough he finds himself standing a few paces away from Robin who is kneeling down to give clean water to the momma cat and her three kittens.
Robin freezes and so does Danny. They stare at each other.
“Um, hi?”
Robin straightens immediately, leaving the water on the ground where the cats can drink. Tom cat swaggers over to guard them.
“Civilian. Is there something I can assist you with?”
The dude is probably a year or two younger than Danny himself and he has to suppress a smile at the formal tone.
“Oh, uh, no? The cat just led me here.”
He can see Robin glance at the Tom cat who was now licking himself.
“Is that so?”
“Yea. Sorry to interrupt. Animals just like me for some reason.”
The three kittens one by one all totter over to him on unsteady legs after they had their fill. The orange one starts trying to climb his pant leg with its short and sharp claws digging into the jean material.
“They really like me.”
He carefully sits down crossed legged so the others could also climb all over him. Robin watches for a moment silently and when he sees Danny react well to the little pricks from tiny claws, he seems it safe enough to return to patrol.
The second time it’s a couple of rats that lure him away to find Robin fighting off more thugs than he probably should by himself. So taking the rats’ movements as encouragement, he takes the closest thing, a piece of plywood, and hit the nearest guy over the head with it. The guy crumbles like a wet sock and Danny is moving on to the next thug.
They sweep the floor with these guys with only a few splinters and a twisted ankle.
“It was dangerous to intervene,” Robin tells him. “I had it handled.”
“Yea, I know.”
The vigilante didn’t seem to be expecting that response from his stunned silence. He straightens as much as he can with bruised ribs.
“Well, I’m glad you know your mistake. Don’t let it happen again.”
Danny neither agrees nor disagrees, just shrugs and allow the rats to climb up his leg to his shoulder. Robin looks at them curiously. Danny gives a salute before leaving. Robin gives him a nod.
The third time it happened the roles are reversed.
Some people from the local gang are bullying the lonely, homeless teen to run drugs for them. They don’t seem to understand the word ‘no’. It gets to the point where Danny finds himself with his back against the wall and all his exits blocked with a guy shoving him again and again.
“Stop it!”
“I’ll stop if you agree.”
“I’m not doing it!”
Frank the raccoon and his buddy Bobby launch themselves at the guy’s ankles. The guy shrieks and pulls a gun.
“No!”
Before Danny can dive for it, a projectile comes out of nowhere to knock it out of his hands. He can’t even process what happened before the three are running away, two raccoons chattering at their heels before coming back to crowd him in worry.
Danny looks up to see Robin with a sword out threateningly, staring at where the three fled. He sheaths the sword after a few seconds.
“Are you okay?”
Danny realizes he’s breathing a little heavy and slows down a bit as he leans over to pet the top of the two heads.
“I’m- yea, I’m okay. Thanks for the save. Those guys were jerks.”
“I’m inclined to agree.”
Robin is staring at the raccoons and it takes Danny a long moment to piece things together.
“Did- did they lead you to me?”
Robin doesn’t answer right away.
“You have loyal friends.”
Danny smiles at the weird compliment. Looking down at the two heroes of the evening Danny is also inclined to agree.
The fourth time is funny in a way Danny doesn’t know how to describe.
It was the pigeons. They were at fault of course for how Robin’s secret identity was outed. By pigeons.
The grey birds swarmed Danny and settled in a cloud of feathers. One holding something in its beak before plopping it down in his lap like a golden retriever. It flaps off as Danny picks up the obvious wallet clip holding quite a bit of cash and a student ID. The card says Damian Wayne from Gotham Academy. Just then Robin comes skidding around the corner, clearly out of breath and freezes.
Danny looks down at the clip in his hand and back up at the vigilante. He looks at the crazy amount of birds around him and again at the vigilante.
Said vigilante straightens and approaches like he called Danny there.
“If I could have that so I could return it to its proper owner.”
He holds out a hand with false arrogance, but Danny can see the nervousness in his stance. Danny looks down one last time before putting the clip in the outstretched hand without a word.
Robin nods once, pockets the ID and money, and immediately leaves.
The fifth time just cements what Danny had already figured out.
He was at the park. Not Ivy’s park of course, the one where people actually like to go. He was helping the squirrels find and hide acorns when he’s nearly knocked over by a massive black dog.
“Titus!”
The end of the Great Dane’s leash is a familiar face. Damian Wayne’s eyes widen in recognition as he finally sees who Titus was so excited to get to.
“Uh-“
Danny has to close his mouth quickly or else the massive tongue on his face would have turned into a French kiss.
“Titus! Heel!”
Danny laughs at the embarrassed blush on the other’s face, obviously not used to his companion going off the rails like this.
“It’s alright. We both know how animals like me.”
Damian narrows his eyes to analyze the teen. Danny wasn’t about to pretend and Damian looked like he was debating whether to follow his lead or not. There was literally no one within hearing distance.
“Have you told anyone?”
Danny thought about redirecting, but thought better of it. He actually liked Robin and what he did.
“Nope. I haven’t and I won’t. I swear.”
Damian tilts his head and then looks down at Titus. He seems to come to a decision before looking back at Danny.
“You’re homeless, are you not?”
Didn’t think they were being that direct but sure.
“Yea?”
“I will pay you in food and shelter to take care of my animals.”
Danny blinks. Then actually considers the offer.
“What kind of animals? How many we talking?”
Damian grins.
The family finds out pretty quickly when a teen they’ve never seen before walks into the Batcave with two pails of food for the bats, Titus at his heels and Alfred the cat perched contently on his shoulders.
Duke stares and Bruce short circuits.
“Um, who are you?”
“Hi! I’m Danny. Damian employed me to take care of the animals.”
“O…kay?”
“And where is Damian?” Bruce sounds like it physically hurts to ask and Danny does not envy Damian’s position right now.
“Upstairs. I think he said he was going to his art studio.”
Bruce marches past the boy to the stairs before stopping abruptly and turning to Danny and Duke.
“Don’t touch anything. Watch him.”
Duke and Danny blink at each other for a moment as Bruce disappears up the stairs.
“I’m Duke by the way.”
Danny grins.
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mmmthornton · 1 year ago
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I was at a bar in Dorchester (Boston, Massachusetts) during a major basketball game. There was a group of guys behind me talking about the game and the players in very thick accents, basically saying "Go Celts!" and whatever, and then one of them said approvingly "Yeah, except [player on the rival team]; fuck those guys but he seems like the kinda guy who calls his mah," and the rest of the table agreed.
Go Bawstahn.
anyways (I say this as someone who is deeply critical of the united states government, military, unchecked capitalism, police, etc) I am SICK of people treating america as if it has no cultural value or positives so….. I love u 85 million acres (bigger than italy) of national parks. I love u harlem renaissance. I love u groundhogs day. I love u sweet tea and fried chicken and jambalaya. I love u apple cider donuts and maizes on crisp autumn days. I love u 95k miles of coastlines and new england fisherman and hand knitted sweaters. I love u halloween where millions of people dress up and give candy to strangers and carve jack o’lanterns. I love u small talk and small towns and potlucks and bringing over casseroles to your struggling neighbors. I love u cowboys and ranch hands and arizonian cactus. I love u appalachian trail and dirtbikes and divebars. I love u sparklers and fireflies. I love u mark twain and toni morrison and emily dickinson and henry david thoreau. I love u rock n roll i love u bluegrass and hippies i love u jimi hendrix and nirvana and CCR and janis joplin. I love u victorian houses and jonny appleseed and john henry and mothman and bigfoot. I love u foggy days in the pacific northwest and neon signs and roadside attractions. I love u baseball and 1950s diners and soft serve. I love u native american art and pop art and poptarts. I love u blue jeans and barbecues and jazz musicians 
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rileyslibrary · 10 months ago
Text
After suffering a gunshot wound, you wake up in a hospital bed with Ghost sitting by your side. Unfortunately, the effects of anaesthesia leave you unable to recognise him and, worse, confuse him with someone else.
A/N: Fluff. Based on a request I received a while ago. Hope you like it, anon!
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A machine on your left beeps rhythmically. The taste of something metallic lingers in your mouth, and the iodine smell stinks your nostrils. Your eyes open slowly, but the bright ceiling light forces them shut again. You lick your lips and attempt to swallow a couple of times. Dry. Your mouth is dry. You need water. Your hand moves towards your face, but a low, raspy voice advises you against it.
“Careful now,” it says, and a hand gently grabs your wrist. “Don’t pull the IV off.”
You turn your head towards the figure beside you and squint. It’s a man, but your blurry vision doesn’t help you identify him. Your eyes travel to your wrist and focus on the closest part of him: a skeleton’s hand.
You try to shake your hand off his grip, but it turns out futile. Frustrated, you give up and raise your middle finger at him.
“Not my time yet,” you declare. “Fuck off.”
“Pardon?” he asks.
“Not ready to go yet,” you reply, tucking your middle finger in your palm and lifting it back up again. “And also, fuck off.”
The man releases your wrist, placing your hand gently beside you. He clears his throat and leans forward. Though your vision remains blurry, you spot what looks like a human skull with a hood over it.
“How are you feeling, love?” he asks, his tone softer.
“How am I feeling, love?” you repeat. “Did Hell improve their customer service?”
“I’m not-” The man begins but pauses. He sighs, shakes his head and rests his elbows on his thighs. “Never mind.”
“Where am I?” You ask.
“Hospital.” He replies. “You took a bullet.”
Directing your attention to your body, you feel a dull throb in your chest. You wince as your fingers brush against the bandages.
“You are joking.” You reply and slap your hand on the bed. “Why? How?”
“Well,” He says and tilts his head to the side. “You exchanged a few shots with the enemy, your gun ran out of bullets, his didn’t, and here we are.”
“My gun?” You ask, shocked. “I have a gun?”
“Several.” He nods.
“SEVERAL?” You shout. “Why would I possibly need several guns?”
“It’s your job, love.” He replies.
“My job is to have several guns?” you ask. “And shooting at people?”
“I wouldn’t put it that way,” he explains, “but it’s mainly for defence.”
“Well,” you shrug and wince at the pain. “Doesn’t look like I’m that good at defence—especially for having several guns.”
“I was really worr—”
“Water,” you interrupt and gesture at your mouth. “I need water.”
“Doctor said it’s not the time for water yet,” he replies.
“Why?” you ask, pretending to check a non-existent wristwatch. “What time is it?”
“No, love,” he replies and muffles a chuckle. “Doctor said you need to wait until you have some water.”
“You throw the ‘love’ thing a little too freely,” you mumble, licking your lips and lifting your index finger. “I’d be really careful if I were you.”
“Really?” he asks, leaning back into the chair and crossing his arms in front of his chest. “Why?”
“I,” you say and point at yourself, “got a boyfriend, thank you very much.”
“Oh,” he exclaims and tilts his head. “Is that so.”
“Yup,” you nod. “And he can kill you.”
“Can he?”
“Can?” You say, and a smug smile forms on your dry lips. “He will absolutely, one hundred and a thousand per cent kill you.”
“Is he that good?” He asks.
“I mean,” you shrug, motioning at the bandages on your chest. “He’s much better than I am.”
“Oh wow,” he exclaims and leans forward. “Is he as good of a boyfriend as he is a shooter?”
“Far from it,” you reply, letting your hand fall to your side.
The man doesn’t speak. He doesn’t seem that comfortable all of a sudden. He shuffles in his chair, trying to find a better position, and when he does, he clasps his hands together.
“Go on,” he finally says. “Spill it.”
“Ok, so,” you begin, “first things first, he doesn’t listen to me when I want to vent, and whenever he does, all he says is nonsense.”
“The lad gives you solutions,” he snaps, “and you call them nonsense?”
“I don’t want solutions, man,” you reply, shaking your head. “I want him to just listen to me.”
“Even if the solutions he provides are literally the answers to your suffering?”
“Even then.” You confirm.
“Gotcha,” he nods. “What else?”
“Oof,” you sigh, “how much time do you have?”
“I’m immortal,” he reminds you, “plus the next reaping is in five hours.”
“Oh boy,” you reply. “Business not going that well lately, huh?”
“Not many deaths to take care of,” he spits. “I guess some people could use some serious training when it comes to their aim.”
“Speaking of training,” you say, “he’s always at work and never spends much time with me.”
“The guy’s trying to spend as much time with you as he can, for fucks sake!” he shouts, throwing his hands up. “He even lied to get you on his team!”
“How do you know he put me on his team?” You ask.
“I keep a close eye on him.” He replies.
“What did he lie about?”
“Your precision in aiming,” he jokes and motions for you to continue. “Next one.”
“I can’t think of anything else,” you reply. “Other than he doesn’t say how much he loves me.”
“You’re having a laugh now, aren’t you?” He says, and his tone feels almost threatening. “He’s showing it to you daily; offering advice, keeping you close to him, even risking the possibility of being accused of nepotism for crying out loud! He doesn’t need to say it as well for you to know it!”
“It’s just nice to hear it sometimes,” you sigh and twist a thread from the bed sheet. You turn your head slightly toward him, and he lowers his head to the ground.
“How about you?” You ask. “You have a girlfriend?”
“I do,” he confirms.
“Shut up!” You shout, widening your eyes and immediately closing them back again. “Where did you guys meet?”
“Hell,” he replies. “Right in the pits of it.”
“How is she?” You ask.
“Perfect.” He states.
“Bullshit,” you murmur. “No one’s perfect.”
“She is to me.” He says, shrugging.
“Do you love her?” You ask.
“Absolutely,” he replies, nodding slowly. “One hundred and a thousand per cent I do.”
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