#we were talking about it in the Discord
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Hi friendly reminder that this is what Mac looked like when he and Jack met
#we were talking about it in the Discord#and I think everyone needs to see#beCAUSE LOOK AT THEM#THAT IS HOW YOUNG MAC LOOKED WHEN JACK PUNCHED HIM#CAN YOU IMAGINE#Iām giving myself ideas with this#like imagine jack was being yelled at#and comes back into the bunks to see someone messing with his gun#and he just acts on instinct and socks him#and only after everything is done does he realize#and maybe one of the guys is like#ādamn Dalton heās just a kidā#and then it REALLY settles in#MAN#thoughts are happening besties#anyways#lailuh speaks#macgyver#macgyver 2016
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Concept: book influencer trying to pitch 18th century literature.
āOMG guys for pride month š I just found a great āØ spicy āØ queer book with lots of gay representation. Itās by the Marquis de Sadeāā
#tumblr#tiktok#we were talking about this in the discord server and I stand by it#I like the lesbian nun in Juliette sheās fun#and the gay count in Justine#the marquis de Sade
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I need to hop back into my transformers bullshit for just a moment because I don't think they've had much interaction in canon, but I think it'd be really really funny if Tarn was actually terrified of Starscream.
Like, I dunno if MTMTE/IDW canon has confirmed Starscream's immortal spark for that particular series, but I'm going to assume it carries over. If so, it'd make Tarn's power basically useless against him.
In my ideal headcanon, Tarn got sick of Starscream's shit at some point and went against Megatron to try to murder him. He tried to do this subtly using his voice only for it to 100% not work even a little bit. He would've had this whole build up where he got Starscream alone and was attempting to be a dramatic bitch about the whole thing and build up to the murder and then-
And then it just doesn't work and there's a really awkward pause where Starscream is looking around kind of expecting something to happen when literally nothing does. Tarn is trying to keep a normal conversation going now while also attempting the murder again and again just for it to literally do nothing. Eventually Starscream gets sick of him being weird and walks out judging the guy.
It'd be so fucking funny particularly because Starscream having an immortal spark is generally totally unknown, so Tarn would have to assume that Starscream had found some way to render his ability useless, which is terrifying. Tarn is now extremely worried that Starscream somehow had a spy and found out what he was planning to do ahead of time. He might've even been able to get something into Tarn's head somehow to know his plan this well. Clearly that level of genius must be part of why Megatron keeps him around. Tarn was a fool for having attempted to disobey, and Starscream was clearly not a problem he could solve like this. What if Starscream reports this clear disobedience to Megatron? Tarn just tried and failed to kill the second in command! Starscream would have every right to demand his execution if he so desired, or save this as blackmail!
Tarn is just out of his mind spinning conspiracy theories and getting super high levels of paranoia about Starscream. Just doing whatever he can to not have to be in the same place as the guy. He runs under the assumption he's being blackmailed by Starscream for his attempt and does what he can to not cross the seeker.
Meanwhile from Starscream's perspective, Tarn showed up and had a very weird conversation where he kept raising his voice at random times and then nothing happened. Then the guy freaked out and got even more weird about it. He has no idea why this happened. He has no idea that Tarn is hiding from him. He thought it was weird and stopped thinking about it after a few days. Starscream's minding his own business and mostly forgot about this entire thing after two weeks meanwhile Tarn is having a mental breakdown about it for years.
#tarn idw#tarn#starscream#starscream idw#tarn mtmte#tf mtmte#transformers#crack#sif speaks#everyone who follows me for other stuff can ignore this#we were just talking about transformers in the drblr discord the other day#and it got me thinking about how funny this would be#also I know it was more fitting for megatron to kill tarn and everything#but it would've been really really funny in this au#if starscream showed up at the necroplanet for some reason#and tarn just fucking booked it out of there#literally NOBODY knows why he's so scared of starscream#meanwhile starscream was entirely there to be a bitch about something#and he's equally confused#idk I just think it'd be really really funny
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do you guys ever think about how I don't care and what a catch donnie are on the same album.
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did i ever actually post this
og
#the context's been lost to time ((buried in discord))#but i think we were talking about how demi can't give her speed boost drink to other survivors bc it's too strong#and it somehow led to this#rambling#idv#identity v#demi bourbon#idv barmaid#andrew kreiss#idv gravekeeper#idv grave keeper#i don't draw so i just made this with stickers from their galleries lmao
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Also speaking of the song Villain, I think it's really really funny how people make AMVs for their favorite little evil and/or morally dubious characters while completely not understanding the song... It's not literally about being a villain. It's about being transgender. It's using the term "villain" as a label forced on the singer for their identity, something other people call them that they're sarcastically reclaiming. So, like, people think they're making AMVs that are like "wow so twisted and fucked up and evil" but they're actually just applying a transgender pride anthem to the character š
#read the actual lyrics beyond the title. that's what it's about#this isn't a case of ''it could be about that if you squint'' either it's. literally just that. it has an official manga too#the manga is about what? being transgender. it's not like rocket science. i think ppl are just seeing the title and taking it at face value#i was talking abt this in the rz tumblrina discord a little while ago too when i saw it applied to subaru (what:if routes)#and we were like this actually works either way though. with the everything about him
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There's only one person I truly hate with all my being
#and its some random bitch from the internet#fuck you jackal#talking about how I started hating him would require TRIGGER WARNINGS.#he almost made me fail my freshman ELA class because I had to spend all hour comforting my friends who he hurt#then all was forgiven because āhe's a kid! he can change!ā i never forgave him and he never truly changed#he tried to tell lies about me to my friends#and. for context. this was on discord#it was a community where I was one of the 3 pillars of it. and I'm close with the other 2.#me C and H were the people people wanted to be friends with. or wanted to *be*. we were the top 3 of everyone! and im not being conceded.#twas a small community#I was known for being skilled! but also. people thought I was kind. (some people thought I was bossy because I was kinda strict)#< (strict being I don't tolerate bullying or slurs at any capacity.#but so. when Jackal lied to H. H knew it was bullshit.#anyways Jackal stuck around somehow even tho everyone KNEW. The Jackal Situation was an ARC in that server.#anyways C made Jackal a mod over a year later bc la-de-da-de-da people can change~ and he wasn't a dick. for about 5 minutes.#he got fired today and i was fucking ECSTATIC#I hate him#he thinks hes hot shit. he's hot garbage is what he is#he's so tone deaf and abused power constantly#i never stepped in because I have such a strong hatred that i can never be fair to him again#im permanently against him. he'll never ever gain any respect from me.#he lied. he baited us. he made my friends spend so many sleepless nights crying. he tried to make them die by saying theyd go together.#i saw through it.#anyways I like to believe I have a good judge of character bc he always made me uneasy#he gifted me nitro and was polite before baiting us. but i was like. ehhhh. what's wrong w him?#anyways he's a pissed off bastard now#anyways heres some previous life drama hooray
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Ok actually re: Dark in Here discussion, it genuinely is such an incredible album, and it speaks so exactly to that early 2020 feeling. The absolute isolation and loneliness of it all is so profound that I can never quite believe that it was written and recorded before lockdown started. And it's so musically interesting, too - it goes places that I don't think much, if any, other tMG work does! The breakdown at the end of Lizard Suit is one of my favorite things ever, but you also have songs like Slow Parts and To the Headless Horsemen that are so even and measured that it's almost eerie. It's such a great album that really really does not get enough love!
#txt#transmissions from lyric#the mountain goats#tmg#dark in here#genuinely love this album so so much and nobody talks about it....i could write an ESSAY on the themes of isolation#seriously its so insane that it was recorded the first week of march 2020 bc it feels so intensely like something that came out of lockdown#ESPECIALLY lizard suit and to the headless horsemen. again. i could write a wholeass essay#we were talking about this yesterday w the daily goat in the discord being lizard suit so its just really on my mind
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If the reds and blues were a cat or a dog, you'd think Wash would be a cat, right?
WRONG he's a dog.
He's like those old police or military dogs that need a lot of love and time before they trust you. Once he does, he'll sit guard in front of your bedroom or the bathroom or the front door like he's keeping watch for any danger. He's a stoic and obedient and quiet, but he'll still wag his tail when his person comes up to give him pets.
It's Tucker that's the cat. He's loud and makes a lot of noise, always begging for attention and knocking things over when he doesn't get it. He'll stalk Wash around and scare the shit out of him when he pounces. Even when he's hissing at Wash, he never leaves his sight, walking right along next to him through base no matter what.
Wash has to scruff Tucker to keep him out of trouble and you can hear his pathetic mews as he's carried around by this tired dog with way too much patience for this kitty's shenanigans.
You can find both of them cuddling in random beams of sun and laying on top of each other for a nap, Tucker's purrs filling the room as Wash curls around him to keep him safe.
#rvb#red vs blue#lavernius tucker#rvb tucker#agent washington#rvb wash#tuckington#headcanon?#au?#idk we were talking about it on discord and now it's on tumblr#I will die on this hill
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on hour three of painting details on a piece of stupidly complex fanart for a british improv comedy group. again. they put something in those plays that infected my brain istg
the only concept of time i have is the fact that the lights in here are on a 1 hour timer lmao
uh. progress sneak peek ig?
#MY WATERCOLOR LAYER ISNT DRYINGGGGG THIS IS GONNA TAKE AGESSSS AUGHGHHH#but im having fun :3 i just wish there were people in the discord vc to hang out with. but we stay silly#i'm gonna be so sore tomorrow tho lmao#anyways. wild wet and worrisome what is in you that compels me to make renaissance paintings about you#sfth#toasty talks#sfthposting#FUCK I HAVE A 9AM AND I HAVE TO DO A PRESENTATION TOMORROW. DAMN IT#it's whatever. maybe i'll do that while the paint's drying#art
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do people know that mash and the love boat (semi-)canonically take place in the same universe
#this lore is very important to me#i have no idea what it means i just think it's funny#i love this kind of shit#hi discord friends i know you know this bc we were just talking about it but i need The Public to know#mash#mashblr#mashposting#tjmd#(not actually mentioned but that's the common link)#my posts
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as someone who has some. well. mixed feelings about netflix witcher I fucking hate when people give it shit for the wrong (read: bigoted) reasons. like. no YOU don't like it bc they made it so triss isn't white. I don't like it bc they made eskel a tree. get fucked
#me in a discord: oh yeah i love witcher#another user (entirely unprompted): i hate what they did to triss. shes a white ginger woman dammit!#me: wow we were literally talking about trolls i was not expecting you to become a completely different person in my eyes very fast-#(...also i still like it I lied in my last line)#mine#the witcher#witcher#racism
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One fascinating thing about the way Hugo writes Jean Valjean's inner conflict is that we're almost never actually in his POV when he makes his final decisions. We spend chapters and chapters exploring Jean Valjean's thought processes as he agonizes over difficult moral choices, but in the final crucial moment, when he actually makes his choice, Hugo "cuts us off" from his internal monologue. We view what his final choice looks like from the outside, from the perspective of other characters. This is especially significant because Jean Valjean, from the outside, is often pretty unreadable. He is uncannily calm, tranquil, and polite. He's opaque. There's a moment where he's described as a "whirlwind within, calm without;" Jean Valjean uses excessively polite behavior as a defense mechanism, "picking up his calm the way a warrior would pick up his buckler." The most obvious example of this is the Champmathieu trial, where Jean Valjean agonizes over whether to turn himself in. We spend chapter after chapter inside of his POV, exploring his terror and inner conflict as he weighs his options and invents a thousand excuses for himself-- we explore his trauma-fueled reactions to the concept of returning to prison in painful, agonizing detail, from his horrific memories of prison to his surreal nightmares about being buried alive. The tension builds as chapters fly by and he still hasn't made his final decision, as he hopes some unforseen accident will prevent him from making it to the trial and he won't have to make the decision after all-- But in the final moment, when Jean Valjean *actually* makes the final choice...we're not in his point of view. Instead, it's told "from the point of view" of the courtroom, and Jean Valjean's strange heartbreaking serenity is described solely from the outside. At the moment where we most want to hear what Valjean is thinking, we're abruptly cut off from his inner monologue. This becomes even more tragic when the "adrenaline rush" of the courtroom fades away and we witness the aftermath of the trial. When Jean Valjean returns to Fantine, we see him from the point of view of Simplice and other characters. He's described as behaving "mechanically" as if in shock. From the outside he appears eerily uncannily "tranquil" and completely opaque. It is impossible to tell what he is feeling or thinking. Jean Valjean responds to Javert's violence toward Fantine with an icy, eerily tranquil restrained fury: threatening him with a leaden bar, saying "I advise you not to disturb me at this moment"-- but you can feel behind that restraint the weight of all the grief/anger from the previous chapters, which he's incapable of letting himself express openly. He has made this horrible nightmarish sacrifice that he's been agonizing over for thousands of words, he's facing unimaginable violence and grief--- and in the moments where we most want to hear how he's reacting to this, "the line goes dead." We're brutally cut off from his mental state and left to imagine what he might be feeling.
After a few moments of this meditation (Jean Valjean) bent towards Fantine, and spoke to her in a low voice. What did he say to her? What could this man, who was reproved, say to that woman, who was dead? What words were those? No one on earth heard them.
#les mis#les mis letters#we were talking about this in the Letters discord server#and im losin my mind over it a little#I think this also happens with stealing the candlesticks#?#and with saving Marius#also the way his relationship with Javert ends#we don't see *why* he decides to rescue him at the barricades from his own pov#and thats significant
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Aaaaange, why doesn't Scar feel safe at that moment? More Tease pretty please? -š
oh i can do more than tease for this one :3c
[1,2k ramble + 8,5k rp snippets]
you know how we talked about the post-return situation, with the hermits raising potential allegations against scar? worried that he might be hurting grian, that their relationship is not safe?
that is pre-wedding. that is before scar proposes, but he already has plans to. he's always dreamed of a big, fancy wedding. it'd be picturesque and grand and wonderful! there'd be lots of flowers and music, laughter and dancing. and they'd be surrounded by friends who would be happy for them.
all of this is actively crumbling in scar's hands as hermits shy away from him as if he was dangerous and unpredictable. they're wary, unsure. they no longer see their cheerful, clumsy, harmless friend. they see an unfamilair vex.
they are not happy for them. and, right now, they do not approve of their relationship either.
scar thinks this is not how home should feel like. this is not what he wants. and he doesn't know how to convince them that he's not that scarecrow they have constructed from their lack of understanding. he doesn't know how to get through this.
but it's more than that, right? all their concerns, however well meaning, also make grian spiral. there's so much stress put on the two of them suddenly, their relationship straining.
none of this was ever meant to happen like this.
it's at a point when grian starts finding his stability, after that big breakdown, that scar decides he's done hiding and running, too. if he has to convince everyone to like him again, then he will. he'll fight for this. he'll do his best so that they can overcome this.
him and grian decide to host a little sleepover. for selected hermits! that way, they'll be opening themselves up to others. they want to try and show the others who they are now. to invite them back in. to let them get to know them all over again.
they arrange for it to happen within a week or so, as they still have to make a dedicated room for it. it's a lot of people to hang out and sleep!
they dedice to repurpose their old bunker. yes, the one they constructed shortly post-rescue. the one that was their hideout, their safe place.
it's underground, its walls drenched with anxiety and uncertainty. grian itches from it all, now used to spend time in their nest-tower, high up above the ground. underground feels stifling, all of a sudden. it feels wrong.
the first thing scar does is break the ceiling, to make a big skylight. it's left open for now, sand smelting into glass.
they struggle with the concept of hosting an event for many people. they can't seem to remember what they need. desperately, they try to figure out ways to make the place seem cozy and non-threatening, both for show and for their own sanity.
they talk about a little flower patch in the middle, right underneath the skylight. something bright and nice smelling and alive. they talk about mood lighting, about fairy lights and a fireplace. andā
they talk about sleeping arrangements.
grian says he doesn't want to make a big nest. he... doesn't want the others in their nest.
they're not flock.
they no longer feel like family.
so instead, they try to figure out how many beds they need. except, grian still wants a nest! for him and scar. and, maybe that's good! that'll be another stepping stone, showing the others the new them. who they are. what they now need. things like that!
while scar is tasked with making the small garden, grian goes off and gathers things for beds. he starts making them, quickly becomes overwhelmed, and instead starts putting together a big net that will hold their nest-bed suspended in the air.
he might be ignoring some symptoms of sickness that he simply brushes off as stress. a bit of tension. a couple of anxious, sleepless nights. it's fine.
(it isn't fine.)
it's when they take a break that grian finds himself too lightheaded and needs to lie down.
it's only about half an hour or so later, in the middle of them talking about some of scar's previous relationship experiences, that grian starts to feel really dizzy.
he has a fever.
and he succumbs to it fast after this.
scar wants to take him to the nest upstairs, but grian says he is too nauseous to be moved, so scar does the next best thing: cocoons grian's shivering, curled up form in blankets.
and he messages the hermits.
the hermits, who think he might be doing bad things to grian.
he tells them they need to postpone the sleepover.
he tells them grian is sick.
he asks for soup, but says not to come inside.
it... doesn't sound good. it rings some alarm bells in the heads of those hermits that are Very Concerned and Very Confused and maybe a notch paranoid. but scar stops replying. he's busy dealing with a sick grian.
and hoo boy.
grian's fever climbs sharply and mercilessly, making him delirious and disoriented. he can't tell where or when they are. he keeps talking about things that have already happened. he asks if the world is ending again. he thinks him and scar will be tossed to different servers this time. he asks for [REDACTED]. he asks for flock. he asks for kane and nico, where are they????
scar's heart is splintering and tearing to shreds as he tries to keep a grip, navigating heartache and mirror panic, trying to calm grian down.
it's at this time there comes a knock at their door.
scar can't deal with the others. not right now. not now, not now, not now.
they don't ask for permission to come in. they don't take silence as a no.
grian chirps in distress, from beffudled memories alone, andā they're worried. they can't leave it be.
they find the hole that was meant to, eventually, be a skylight.
they drop down.
mumbo, worried out of his mind. tango, here to help. impulse, last-minute joining them just to keep things reined in.
scar knows grian is out of it. he knows grian didn't want anyone else in their nest.
these are intruders.
and all grian registers are voices. all he thinks of are hunters. he sobs, terrified.
but to the others? scar's shifting into a vex form, flickering and dangerous, clutching grian who's making distressed noises, shielding him from sight.
they need to check up on grian, but they're not allowed any closer.
of course this escalates messily. and scar's afraid and hurting, but he needs to protect grian, and they aren't seeing him anyway. they don't see that he's scared. they don't see that he's cornered and helpless. they don't understand grian's current headspace, or his experiences that dictate his feverish panic.
and there's no space to explain.
... you know what. have the rp bits. as a treat <3 (this starts at the impromptu end of conversation about scar's past relationships, just for context.)
i decided not to redact some bits, for your enrichment. and to feed into the chaos. you're welcome :3c
------ RP STARTS HERE ------
SCAR
Scar takes another moment just to run his fingers over Grianās forehead, then back into his hair, carefully folding his bangs back. In a lot of ways, early days with Grian were like that. Sharing their passions, enjoying each otherās company, nothing but fleeting touches between them that Scar would be left thinking about for days.Ā
He thinks he may have always been a hopeless romantic.
But is it really hopeless if the man of his dreams is here before him now? Curled up in his lap and cooing so soft?
Scar hums, pleased, even if he obviously wishes the sickness werenāt part of it.
āEventually she was invited to some exclusive server, real far off. She didnāt know when sheād be able to see me next, soā¦ we decided to go ahead and split.ā Scar says it all so casually, because it truly was a mutual decision. One of the few relationships that ended with no misunderstandings or disappointments.
Well, it was still a little sad, but they knew it was for the best.
She didnāt want to leave Scar waiting, and he wanted her to feel open to exploring her relationships to the fullest with her new server mates.Ā
āI knew dating was always sort of secondary to her. Not as important as her art. She could do without it easily, especially if she was going somewhere with a bunch of other artists.ā Scar looks down, carrying that soft smile and directing it toward Grian. āAnd she wanted me to be able to move on, so I could eventually meet, as she called it, the One.ā He grins, remembering that being her exact phrasing. āā¦and thatās you.ā Scar flushes a bit at his own cheesiness. āI know it.ā
--
GRIAN
grian sighs softly at the touch through his hair, relaxing even through his shivers. his teeth chatter a little, a small frown forming between his eyebrows, but it softens a little as scar continues talking.
he tries to slot the information somewhere in his head. that this was an amicable breakup, brought on by insurmountable distance, diverging life paths. that this is something scar can still remember fondly. that this person had every trust that scar will find someone right for him, and that scar is convinced that someone is grian.
but somehow, his thoughts snag and loop, a faulty wire somewhere. distance and far away servers. distance andā
all of a sudden, he's thinking about the apocalypse that took everything from them. everything but each other, eventually.Ā
he thinks of distance, and a faraway server.
and scar not being with him in that scary place, or grian not being there with scar.
he takes a sharp breath, head shifting and eyes opening. his gaze is feverish and intense as it finds scar. "i would've look'd for you ev'rywhere," he says, hushed but urgent, completely nonsensical.
--
SCAR
Scar tilts his head, confused. He can tell what Grian is saying is drenched in adoration, but it feels misplaced, like it doesnāt belong here in this particular conversation.
Scar isnāt so sure heās going to get an explanation with Grian in this state.
āIām right here,ā Scar decides to say instead, voice soft like flower petals placed over his skin, hoping to ease whatever tension is lingering in Grianās thoughts.
His thumb brushes just in front of Grianās earwing, not quite touching, but grazing over those tiny feathers that permeate his skin.Ā
āRight here.ā
--
GRIAN
grian's gaze softens, some intensity fizzing out, even if the feverishness stays. "right here," he parrots in a weary but fond whisper, audibly relief laced. his eyes close again and he tilts his head further, chasing the touch of scar's gentle fingers.
--Ā
SCAR
Scarās glad to see Grian close his eyes, knowing he likely needs the rest. To think he was building beds and nets when he was slowly succumbing to a fever just makes Scar sad.
āFor good, too,ā Scar adds on, humming. āIf youāll have me, of course.ā
He sees his communicator buzzā it had been a few times during his storyā and wonders if that means soup is here already. With a name like soup group, maybe they had it ready-to-cook.Ā
Slowly, he shifts one hand over to take it, just to make sure he was clear about not entering the house. Heās careful to maintain soft patterns with his other, not wishing to disturb his mate.
--
GRIAN
for good. that sounds wonderful. it feels like a nest built around him.
grian coos, velvety and quiet, nuzzling weakly against scar. he feels him shift, but the attention to such details is slippery to grian's mind, especially as scar's touch remains on him, tracing gentle patterns.
--
SCAR
Scar stills for a second upon reading his messages, only drawn back into focus by the soft coo that escapes his mateās lips. Heās quick to continue his soothing, setting the communicator down atop a half-squished pillow with a plop.Ā
<PearlescentMoon whispers to you> Soup delivery!
<GeminiTay whispers to you> Anybody home?
<Skizzleman> anybody seen G?
<impulseSV> Skizz
<impulseSV> Donāt
<Mumbo> Did something happen??
<GeminiTay> Heās just sick!
<Tango> ā¦sick huh?
<impulseSV> Here we go againā¦Ā
--
GRIAN
with no idea about the turmoil spreading across the server-wide chat, grian stays curled up, leaning on scar. the silence stretches, making the space feel heavier somehow, time oddly slippery.
grian doesn't like it.
he lets out another coo, this one less stable. there's a questioning edge, something insecure and sorrowful and afraid.
--
SCAR
Scar blinks rapidly, eyelashes fluttering a bit as he tries to recalibrate. He can't bother with that nonsense right now, Grian needs him. That's his only priority.
"You okay, G?" Scar asks, carefully curating his voice with his practiced honeyed tones. "Soup's at the doorstep. Should be fine to leave it there, though."
--
GRIAN
soup's here?
grian forgot all about the soup. why's it at the doorstep?
he can't think.
he lets out another coo, pitched similarly to the last.
--
SCAR
"...Are you hungry?" Scar tries to guess. "I told them to leave it there for now. I'm sure it'll stay hot."
--Ā
GRIAN
grian's getting increasingly more confused. who brought the soup?
they're... underground, right?
there's this horrible moment when grian can't tell where they are. or when.
"... why d'n't they c'me in?" he murmurs, thinking feverishly about flock. about nico and kane, and their worried faces.
--
SCAR
"You...you said you didn't want anyone in the nest?" Scar replies, nervous now.Ā
Did he misinterpret that? Did he just cause turmoil in the chat for no reason?
--
GRIAN
grian looks at scar again, his gaze unfocused even as he searches scar's expression for answers that evade him. he's so confused. flock is allowed in the nest?
he chirps, unable to put the mess of his feverish, disoriented thoughts into words.
--
SCAR
"Shoot," Scar says, doubting his actions now. "IāI can message them again? I think the messages from Pearl and Gem were only a few minutes agoā"
--
GRIAN
grian stiffens, his eyes widening with more confusion.
peal and gem?
it takes him an odd, hollow moment to place those names, and then he's unthinkingly moving, rolling over, chirping in a higher pitch. the cocoon of blankets tangles around him, keeping him right where he is, unable to flare out and flap his wings.
--
SCAR
Scar is about a moment away from grabbing the communicator when Grian begins thrashing, and he quickly shifts to cradling him with his arms, trying to keep him in place. "Hey, heyyy, whoa... easy there, birdie, what's wrong?" Scar tries to imitate a small chirp, trying to say that it's okay if Grian can only make noises. He'll try to interpret to his best ability.
--
ANGE ( :D )
--
GRIAN
grian breathes heavily from that small amount of exertion, completely placated by scar's tight hold and the familiar rumble of his voice. dark spots blotch out his vision, and he lets himself go limp, cradled by scar's arms. safe. safe, safe, safe.
his head is so jumbled, and everything feels like a horrible dream. they're underground. there's meant to be flock here. there's meant to beā
with eyes flooding with confused tears, he whimpers. "scar?" his voice is hoarse, breaking midway through. "where's avi?"
--
LINK
--
SCAR
Scar's huddled over Grian, as if he wanted to shield him from the world. (He does.) He keeps his grip firm and shushes him softly, trying to reign him in as much as he can so he can get some sort of coherent answer, whenā
Oh.
Oh no.
"Where'sā" Scar chokes out, completely caught off guard by the question. He pulls away, catching sight of those tears, and suddenly his eyes are stinging as well. "IāGrian, we're..." He can't answer that. He can't, he can't. "Grian we're home."
--
GRIANĀ
grian's gaze jumps between scar's eyes. incoherency threads through his veins, spilling across his nervous system. the word home makes no sense to him.
he chirps, a quiet, mournful, quivery sound. confused and afraid.
--
LINK
--
SCAR
Scar chews at his lip, trying very hard not to lose himself to the sudden flood of panic that surged through him at those words, not to mention the sheer misery of it all as well.
"We're not there, Grian," he continues to try. "We're home. We'reā"
He hears knocking at their door upstairs.Ā
Scar's ears twitch, honestly unsure if Grian will hear it as well with how Scar is huddled over him and with the less acute hearing.Ā
Muffled voices pool in from beyond the stairs.
...not gonna answer. ... just wants to be sure ... if it makes him feel better...
"...on Hermitcraft," Scar finishes, the word almost bitter on his tongue.Ā
--
GRIAN
"iā butā" grian's oblivious to knocking or potential intruders. he sniffles, a tear falling free. he's shaking, the fever ravaging, the world gently spinning off axis around him.Ā
he thinks scar looks a bit panicked, and it just pushes him deeper into his disoriented confusion. becauseā aren't they hiding? from danger? aren't they in a hideout? in a bunker, or a cave? aren't they in a nest that's incredibly makeshift, put together in a rush?
... isn't there meant to be flock here?
he chirps again, louder, still that higher pitch. fear sears through the sound, his breath turning rapid as his heart beats wildly against his ribs, even as fever presses the heavy weight of exhaustion right over his chest.Ā
he's scared, because he can't remember. he can't remember what happenedā
"where are they?" he insists, his voice verging a sob. "where is flock?"
--
SCAR
Scar thinks the voices stopped for a second after Grian chirps, and the reality of the giant hole in the ceiling sets in on Scar all at once. All theyād have to do is walk about the back and thereād be nothing keeping anyone from seeing the two of them.Ā
Scarās wings flare out around Grian as an instinctive shield.Ā
Grian is asking about flock, andā¦
Well, the reality of that is that there is none here, Scar concludes dismally.Ā
Grian didnāt want the hermits in their nest when they were constructing the party room. Grian asked for Avi. Grianās probably thinking about Kane and Nico, too.
The hermits havenāt gotten there. They donāt know avian-brained Grian.
ā[REDACTED],ā Scar answers, trying to give Grian a shred of reality to grasp onto. [REDACTED]
--
GRIAN
[REDACTED]?Ā
grian's mind spins, the same way the room spins around him. he feels as if the whole ground tilted with them on it. there's sea underneath the raft of the floor.Ā
he feels sick.
he wants to close his eyes, but he finds himself staring at scar, helpless. floatingly, he remembers words about distance and faraway servers, and he thinks of hermitcraft imploding, whole chunks being lifted up into the air.
his stomach twists and lurches. the spinny feeling makes him think even more vividly of those floating chunks. maybe they're on one now?
he ducks, as if the ground really moved from underneath them. he tries to paw at scar, but his hands are still trapped, and it just makes him thrash again against the blankets, whimpering.
he wants his flock. he doesn't understand where they are.
"call them back," he whimpers. "callā avi. canā avi can come too?" he pauses, his breath stuttering as he looks up at scar with so much pleading.Ā
he wants a bird flock. he wants to tuck him in the middle of the makeshift nest and make sure he's safe.
--
SCAR
Scar stares at Grian, heart actively tearing itself apart at his words and tears threatening to fall.Ā
He hears footsteps.
He canāt do this. If they find them heās not going to be able to untangle all of this in time, heā
āTheyāll be back,ā he lies, chest aching. āShhh, shhh, listen, theyāll be back, okay?ā
The words taste like acid on his tongue, burning his throat like rotten bile.Ā
āYouāre sick, Gri, let me take care of you,ā Scar pleas, shutting out his surroundings so he can focus. Focus. Grianās the only thing that matters. āWhy donāt we go upstairs? Ifā if you puke on me, fine, I justā you should have a bath. And more blankets. And Mr. Beak.ā
And medicine on his way up. And soup.Ā
And away from the approaching hermits. Away from danger.
--
GRIAN
"they'll... be back?" grian repeats, in the smallest voice, each syllable threatening to snap and let it all crumble. he sniffles, another tear tumbling down his cheek as the confusion continues to tear a path through him like wildfire.
scar says their flock will be back.Ā
he says grian is sick, and oh, maybe the world isn't ending, then?Ā
grian feels weird. everything's fuzzy and nonsensical, memories fading and time slipping and everything melting together.
there's a sob, and it takes grian a moment to realise it came from it. "itā it feels likeā" his body shakes and trembles, barely a separate thing from the shivers. he's curling up again, making himself small. with a ragged breath and tears glistening in his eyes, he looks at scar, completely missing his point about upstairs and a bath and mr beak. what leaves his lips instead is a question that's white-hot, shaking him to his core. "scar...? is the world ending again?"
--
SCAR / MUMBO
āWhatāā Scar is reeling from all of this. It doesnāt feel unlike being trapped in a cramped terracotta bunker listening to Grian murmur thoughts of death and despair. āNo, Grian, the world isnāt ending.ā
Scar thinks he knew how to handle this better once upon a time.
This world has ironically shaken his confidence.Ā
āWeāre perfectly safe.ā Scar continues. āWeāre in our homeā our house that we built.ā
āGrian?ā comes a voice from above, causing Scar to bristle.
His eyes flick upward and catch sight of a nervous pair of eyes peeking over the dirt hole.
Scar does not want to talk to Mumbo right now.
--
GRIAN
grian's eyes close and he blindly curls towards scar, deeper into his hold, lost and despondent. nothing makes sense, not even scar's reassurances.Ā
out of all the words scar says, grian wants to hold onto one the most: safe.
and yet incoherent threats continue sinking teeth into grian's flesh. sending panic signals about how he's weak if he's sick, and they're a target, and they can't run from danger. about how their flock is missing. about how they might be hurtled into different, faraway servers this time, andā and grian doesn't know how to survive without scar, andā
he sobs loudly, his breaths becoming erratic. he hears his name, but it's not scar's voice, and he flinches hard, whimpering, until some instinct catches up and tells him to run. to grab scar and abandon the nest.
he tries to flap his wings, but finds them bound.
he doesn't process that sensation right, pitching straight into memories of traps and nets, chirping high pitched and distressed. the blankets don't hold too hard, but he just can't figure them out, unaware of what they even are.
--
SCAR / OTHERS
āGrian!ā Mumbo exclaims, calling the attention of his other unwelcome companions.Ā
Scar snarls, luckily muted and hidden from view by his bright wings. This is not what he needs right now. This is not what Grian needs. He needs peace and quiet and warmth and soft thingsā
Scar hurries to try to still Grian, shushing him as calmly as he can manage. āHey, hey, Grian, itās me, itās okay, shhhh, please calm down.ā
Grian said he felt nauseous. This has to be about the worst thing possible for him.
āScar, whatāsāā Mumbo is babbling, sounding nearly as panicked as Grian. Scar doesnāt care about that though.Ā
He thinks maybe Mumbo has fallen onto his knees up there. He thinks he might be considering popping down into their space.
Scar is not having that.
Strangers are not allowed in the nest, get out, get out.
āGrian, look at me,ā Scar tries, urgent and insistent. āWeāre safe, weāre okay, Iā Iām gonna take you upstairs.ā
āWhoa there, skippy, I donāt think you should be taking him anywhere!ā comes Tango of all people.
Scar eyes glow a faint blue, feeling cornered, while all of his body language shifts into that of defensive and protective, wrapped around Grian fully with his wings blocking the intruders from view.Ā
He desperately attempts to lift.
--
GRIAN
grian sobs, quieter, against scar's soft, frantic shushes. he wants to believe that everything's okay, but scar doesn't sound okay, and there are all these other voices, rising up and loud, coming closer.
scar pleads for grian to look at him, and dizzily, he does, his eyesight blurred by hot tears. he's breathing too fast, which is just inviting more lightheadedness; he shakes in scar's grip, whimpering as scar repeats the promises that they're okay.
desperately, grian tries to hold onto that.
he chirps, still distressed but now also pleading, a sound meant only for scar's ears but all too loud and grating to not be heard by anyone else in the vicinity.Ā
his wings still feel so horribly bound.Ā
he chokes on a sob. "scar, help."Ā
he needs to be freed andā and they need to run, right? they need to go? scar says they'll go upstairs. grian tries to get his hands free, wanting to hold onto him, but he's bundled up too tight in scar's arms to really manage with his feeble strength.
his stomach churns, acidic, turning and twisting with the uptick of stress and panic. he sobs again, terrified that they're about to be caught.
--
SCAR / OTHERS
Focus, Scar thinks frantically. Focus, focus.Ā
He canāt let the anger from the intrusion overcome him. He canāt get defensive here, even if heās certain one unwelcome step into their makeshift nest will set him off.Ā
Grian is squirming in his arms, chirping as he relives some phantom experience, and Scar knows this canāt look good. He has to stay calm, he has to keep him under control.
But then Grian begs for his help and itās like the mirage shatters around him, except this time itās reality fragmenting before his very eyes, twisting and mutating into something horrible and so much more dire.Ā
Grianās sobbing, but for a second Scar sees him despondent, face torn open and wings drenched in blood. He hears voices and itās like white noise, a vague threat, unwelcome.Ā
Scar looks around frantically.
He doesnāt know which way Nadia isā
āScar, buddy, hey, why dontcha just put Grian down and we can aaaaaall relaxāā
Scarās wings flare out to their full span, one dipping over Grian as a shield. No one can see him. No one can ogle those feathers. No one, no one.
āScāScar, whatās going on?ā
Scar sees movement. Someone jumps down and instantly heās crouched low, holding Grian tighter as his eyes glow blue.
āScarā¦ā
Heās supposed to be calm, heās supposed to be gentle, heās failing, heās failing, but he canāt let them nearā
Scarās entire body flickers blue and he bites his lip hard enough to draw blood.Ā
āStay back,ā he strains through sharpened teeth, voice low like a snarl. āYouāāĀ
(You arenāt welcome here.)
(Youāre making things worse.)
(Youāre lucky I donāt slay you right here and now.)
Scarās voice breaks, desperate and frightened by his own shattering psyche. āYouāre scaring him.āĀ
--
GRIAN / OTHERS
the sense of danger continues building up around grian, fueling his fear, overexerting his already sickness-weakened body. his heart continues ramming a fast, painful rhythm, and the ache across his chest just serves to make grian more scared.
scar's hold on him is firm, and grian doesn't know whether to feel comfort (he's protected, it's okay, scar's got him), or more panic (there's a threat, scar can't fight if he's gripping grian, why aren't they running?) choking on sobs that he's unable to stop, grian presses his forehead into scar's shoulder; the heat of his fever can surely be felt through scar's shirt, scalding hot. there's a familiar, faint tingling, something grian's learned to attune himself to and recogniseāthe electrifying current of scar's magic, a warning, a preparation. a wing slings in front of grian like a glowing shield.
mumbo's standing in the bunker, jolting still at scar's accusation and the display of his vex magic. "i'm scaring him?" he stammers, incredulous and not understanding. "mate, i think he's asking to be let go," he hazards, navigating the distressing pitch of chirps and sobs with anxious misguidedness.Ā
tango's now crouching at the edge of the hole, also intending to descend. "yeah, just let us see him. you've got nothing to hide, right? why make this worse?"
a third pair of footsteps makes it to the unfinished skylight, peering down at the situation with a tense "uhoh," trying to read what exactly is happening here. he isn't sure yet, but some alarm in his head goes off.
with straining breaths through his sobs, grian's dizziness only gets worse. even as he's securely held, he can't escape the violent sensation of the world spinning fast. his stomach tightens, burning with acid, stress overloading all of grian's already muddied senses. there are voices around him, louder, closer, but they don't process right; they're just an incoherent noise, a call of hunters saying we found them, making everything collapse in on him and scar. it feels like they're surrounded and, fearfully, grian presses himself further against scar, burrowing in as much as he can with all his limbs still tangled into the blanket net.Ā
he should've been more careful.
he shouldn't have triggered the trap.
his eyes are tightly shut, overflowing with tears. behind his closed eyelids, he can see, vividly, avi's terrified look as he's caught in another trap.
a vile kind of panic spreads through him, sharper and more damaging than the previous one, drawing a terrified chirp out of him. the sound breaks on a sob like waves violently crashing into a jagged cliffside, and he desperately tries to take a breath through it all. to speak.Ā
it's awful; he's so horribly lightheaded and nothing makes sense. but he has toā he has to say this, has to make sure scar hears, has to beg for this one thing above all else. he chokes out, wobbly and halting and small enough to be coherent only for scar, and only if he can spare enough attention to listen. "pleā please don'tā don't leā leave him behindā"Ā
--
SCAR / OTHERS
Scar tenses, briefly glancing down at Grian as he wonders whether or not he truly has been misinterpreting it all, if Grian wants to be let go like Mumbo claims. But no, Scar can feel that feverish haze pressed into his shoulder, desperate and clingy, and his expression sharpens, eyes narrowing in Mumboās direction.Ā
No, Mumbo knows nothing.Ā
Still, Scar shrinks under Tangoās accusations, reminding him that he ought to have nothing to hide. He doesnāt, justā he canāt let them see. He canāt let anyone see the tears and the panic and the bright violet hues.Ā
Scar knows heās being irrational but his wings simply wonāt budge, one flung out in some innate danger response and the other curled around like a very necessary shield. They twitch but donāt move.
All Scar can manage is to turn them slightly transparent. A barely willing compromise.
Even his vision is flickering blue.
ā¦Grianās words make him see white.
Heās vividly tossed back in time, hobbled over and bloodied, barely hanging on, watching as [REDACTED]
Grianās begging him not to let history repeat itself, he knows, heā
Scar takes a stumbling step backward, blankets curling around his feet and threatening to drag him down.Ā
āHey, hey, hey, letās not go going anywhere, pal,ā Tango insists as he leaps down to join Mumbo, carefully touching his shoulder in solidarity. Heās jittery here, not liking he prospect of staring down an angry vex in the slightest, a totem gripped in his other hand. āWeāre just here to help.ā
Tears break past Scarās eyes and he hiccups, struggling to stay above water, barely grappling with reality as it continues to shatter before him.Ā
He canāt do this alone. Heās scared, heās slipping, heās making it all worse.Ā
Heā¦ he should have nothing to hide.
āHeās sick,ā Scar pleads again, voice hoarse and not at all his own. Blue wisps escape with every word. āHeāe has a fever, heās notā heās not thinking straight.ā
God, are they going to believe that?
Do they believe anything he says? That a crazed vex says?
Scar looks at Grian again, desperation hanging off his tongue. āGrian, youā Iāā He doesnāt even want to suggest it, but they probably need to hear from him. āWeā¦weāre safe, okay? I promise, Iā¦ d-do you want me to put you down?ā
--
US
--
GRIAN / OTHERS
scar's suggestion is the only thing grian hears with any semblance of coherency, and it makes his lungs spasm and his heart ache. he shakes his head in panic, forehead still pressed against scar, the sharp motion rapidly destabilising the world around him until it spins in a nauseating blur. "no no no don't leave, please, don't don't don't," he chokes out, crying.
the sharpness of that reaction freezes mumbo, sends everything in him careening into doubt.
it's this moment impulse takes his cue to join in. he jumps down, touching tango's arm just as tango is taking a breath to speak, feet moving to step forwards. impulse stops him, gently, even as tension drips from his voice. "tango, wait."
grian's sobs fill the air; the transparency of scar's wings doesn't offer much more clarity. all impulse can tell is that the avian is shaking.
but his eyes draw higher, meeting scar's. his gaze softens at the sight of tears, and he lifts his hands up placatingly, the gesture feeling like lowering of a weapon. "scar." his voice is quiet, just loud enough to be heard. he tries to keep it calm, even as his nerves are fraying with the situation. "you aren't going to run off with him anywhere, right? it's okay. we won't hurt you guys."
mumbo's eyes widen at that, gaze whipping from impulse to scarāfor the first time noting the tears in the vex's eyes. "oh, gosh, no, we aren't here to hurt anyone!" he echoes, distraught.Ā
--
SCAR / OTHERS
Scar tightens his grip, pulling Grian up higher and whispering soft nothings, assuring him that heāll stay, that he hears him, he wouldnāt leave him, not ever.Ā
Scar tenses up when yet another person enters their space, but visibly relaxes when he recognizes Impulseās voice, something steady and yielding to the way that he speaks. Itās the only voice that doesnāt distort into that of a hunterās call in Scarās rattled mind.
Slowly, Scar pulls his leg back in, shaking as he gives up on the half-step he was taking away. āIā¦ I know that,ā he fibs, because part of him doesnāt believe them. āBut Grian doesnāt. Nānot right now.ā
Tango appears unconvinced, making a short grumbling sound that Impulse cuts off with a light shove.Ā
Impulse recognizes this scene. Maybe itās just the flicker of Scarās wings, but Grian appears to have that same glossed over look in his eye that he had the day they found themā unrecognizing, inconsolable.Ā
It isnāt good.
--
GRIAN / OTHERS
grian's sobs quiet down a little at the soft assurances, but the world keeps swirling and swimming.Ā
mumbo lets out a choked noise, not willing to reconcile with the idea that grian might not recognise them as safeādespite all the hints of their early days on the server post-rescue. he thinks of grian, bruised and bitten and flinching, and he can't let this go. he can't. "please," he begs. "i just want to see him."
impulse looks at mumbo, then back at scar. he's holding out his arm, in case the others would have the stupid thought of moving forwards.
he needs to bargain here, and it's hard.
he tries to hold onto the way scar let pearl at least somewhat close, that day when they pulled scar and grian from that awful world, grian's wing tangled in a horrible trap that tore at it. pearl wasn't allowed to touch, but she was allowed to help, and maybe they could arrive at something similar here, too.
"scar...?" impulse says, gentle and calm again. (it's only the smallest of wobbles that betrays him.) "do you think you could sit down? you don't have to let go of him, just, let us see? we don't have to come close." and then, after a breath, he tentatively pushes with another suggestion: "i think if you're calm about it, it might help him calm down too. you don't have to get away from him."
"yes he does!" tango protests.
impulse whips to face him. "tango!" he snaps back.Ā
grian flinches in scar's arms at the raised tones, letting out another loud, terrified chirp, curling into scar for protection. he's back to sobbing louder, all of scar's comfort undone in one swift go.
--
SCAR
Scarās wings sag the slightest bit, drawn in by the soft promises Impulse is laying out, but still hesitant to follow.Ā
Sitting down would mean giving up an easy escape route. They could be lying. He could be cornered. This could all be a ploy to get him to lower his guard.
Tangoās outburst does not help settle that fear.
Scar grits his teeth together, a few stray tears falling as he struggles to form words. āStop yelling,ā he demands, light blue magic slipping past sharpened teeth.Ā
Heās back to soothing Grian, not yet yielding and not at all regarding Mumboās request.Ā
āShh, shh, Iāve got you, okay? Iāmāā He looks over the three pairs of eyesā fearful, disdainful, concernedā and focuses in on Impulse. āTheyāreā¦ friends.ā (Not flock.) āIām just gonnaā¦ kneel down here, okay?ā (A small compromise.)
--
GRIAN / OTHERS
grian continues crying, albeit a little bit quieter again. just a notch. it's hard to tell if scar's soothing is working, or if he's just tiring himself out.
tango, to his credit, seems a bit alarmed by the reaction he's gotten. but he is still relentlessly wary, suspicious of this whole situation.
impulse can tell, and it keeps him tense. he wishes he could just tell tango and mumbo to leave, but he knows they wouldn't budge. not now. not when things are like this.
he holds back a sigh, looking grian's way. "yeah, we're friends," he echoes, soft, trying to sound harmless and encouraging.
he isn't even sure grian's listening to him. he isn't sure he can recognise his voice. it feels awful.
he doesn't think tango and mumbo realise the extent of what's happening. that if grian's mind is scrambled with the sickness, he might not be mentally present here. on hermitcraft. he might be stuck somewhere else entirely, and the thought of it pains impulse.Ā
the least they can do is play along.
the least he can do is try to deescalate this whole thing.
"c'mon," he tugs at tango and mumbo, voice low. "let's sit down."
"whā i don't wantā" tango starts in protest, but impulse holds his gaze, steady.Ā
"shh," he reminds him, shutting tango up.
"oh gosh," mumbo lets out, wobbly, and slowly lowers himself down to the floor.
impulse does the same, dragging tango down with him.
"see?" impulse looks back at scar, trying to offer a small smile. "we're not gonna go closer if you guys aren't ready. we're at the same level here. it's okay." he's willing to be patient here, but he worries that tango and mumbo might not be.Ā
--
SCAR
Scar stares for a long moment, fidgeting between trust and opportunity, wondering if he could run. If he could take them down if theyāre going to make themselves vulnerable like this.
His ears twitch with alarm at the mere thought, catching himself before he can spiral further into delusion.
Carefully, he lowers himself to the ground, knelt down on both knees so he could easily spring back into action.Ā
āWe arenāt ready,ā Scar confirms, warily eyeing the lot of them.Ā
His eyes are still bright blue, though slightly less fiery. His chest flickers occasionally, a warm white light. His wing lowers by only an inch.Ā
He allows himself one moment of weakness, eyes flicking back down toward the shivering avian in his arms. āā¦ I promise a warm bath after this, okay?ā he whispers, though his voice carries, still too ragged from pressed together fangs. āWāweāre gonna be fine.ā
--
GRIAN / OTHERS
impulse nods. he knows they aren't ready, but he hopes hearing that helps the others settle too. "we'll wait. take it slow. make sure he's okay," he coaxes, tone soft. hoping, desperately, that tango and mumbo won't mess this up. that they understand and will follow his lead. "we're not getting any closer. you have space." he pauses, and then he adds, a bit of heartache slipping into his voice: "you're safe, i promise."
grian recognises that they went down, slow and controlled. scar's hold is still tight and secure, and he's talking to him softly, and grian scrambles to understand what's happening. they're... not in danger anymore? scar says they're going to be fine.Ā
with a tired coo, grian nuzzles into his shoulder. he trusts him, even as he still sniffles, tears dripping down.Ā
his body feels awful, and his wings twitch, only to find themselves still tangled. it's that sensation that prompts another miserable sob from him, albeit less panic-driven. "take it off," he pleads, begging scar to untangle the trap that restricts him. "take itā scar, hurts," he whines.
the blanket doesn't actually hurt. his body aches from the fever and extertion, but his head tells him that pressure against his wings ought to be painful, and so that's what it is. the fear mistranslates into paināor maybe just inevitability of the pain if this goes on, he isn't actually sureāthe memories more vivid than reality itself.
--
SCAR
Scar nods slowly, wings lowering just a little bit more. He can see the tension actively begin to roll off of Mumbo, but for some reason that doesnāt comfort Scar in the slightest.Ā
He tries to offer gratitude toward Impulse in some way, but then his attention is dragged back to Grian, ears flicking as he grows rigid and attentive once more.
āTakeā¦?ā Scar questions, looking Grian over in confusion before it finally clicks. āTheā oh.ā
He shifts a little, resting Grianās weight firmly on his legs, and slowly peels away a few layers of blankets, trying to simply loosen them up and allow for his wings to slip free.Ā
āItās okay, youāre okay,ā Scar assures him, voice already growing much softer, no more wisps escaping when he speaks. āThere you goā¦ ām sorry.ā
--
GRIAN / OTHERS
it's the word hurts on grian's tongue that has mumbo jolting, and impulse has to react fast, grabbing him and keeping him still. "stay calm," he hisses under his breath, quiet enough to be intended only for their trio.
"do you really expect us just to sit here," tango hisses back, "when grian just said he's being hurt?"
impulse exhales, long and tense. "that's not what he said. and he asked scar to fix it. he said," he stresses, somehow still managing to keep his voice hushed and low, "he wants scar to stay near him. so sit. still. and wait."
grian, in the meanwhile, squirms as the blanket layers gets peeled off, feeling the pressure relent. he breathes out, a bit more steadily, forehead still firmly against scar. some of his crying tapers off once he can twitch his wings and feel no resistanceāand the loosened blankets let his hands free, too. he uses this immediately to grab onto scar's shirt, depletedly holding on.Ā
"thanks." he sniffles. and then he asks, feeling small and vulnerable, his heart still frightened: "are we safe...?"
--
SCAR
āYes,ā Scar replies, even if he doesnāt feel safe in the slightest. He feels under attack, though perhaps at least not physically. āā¦weāre having a sitting party.ā
Itās a bit of a nonsensical thing to say, but Scar is trying desperately to reel himself in here. His eyes are only barely green, a blue sheen still hiding them away. He feels tense and uneasy, watching Tango in particular now with narrowed vision.
It flicks to Mumbo, accusatory in his stare. āI said we didnāt want visitors,ā Scar states, guarded. āSo why are you here?ā
--
GRIAN
it is a bit nonsensical, the words sitting party taking a while to slot in grian's mind. but if they're having a party, that means there is someone else, right? the memories of the confusing, threatening voices feels fuzzy to grian. the danger has passed, the hunters are gone. they wouldn't be sitting down, wings released, having a party of all things otherwiseāand scar confirmed they're safe.
which means...
maybe scar called them over, like grian asked?
he relaxes a little bit more, even as he still continues to wade his confusion. "flock...?" he asks in a tiny coo.Ā
he's leaning his head on scar's shoulder, staring blankly off in the direction of scar's other shoulder, not focused on anything in particular. his vision still swims.Ā
--
SCAR
āā¦ Friends,ā Scar corrects, because theyāre not. āā¦ Theyāre justāā Scar swallows down some bitterness, trying to stay calm. āāworried about you.ā
And then he looks back to Mumbo, eyes glowing a bit brighter again as he waits for his answer.
(Theyāre worried about Grian. Not him. Unless being worried of him counts.)
--
GRIAN / OTHERS
"mhn?" grian makes a confused sound at the word friends. it doesn't want to slot anywhere in his head. who?
mumbo, in the meanwhile, shrinks under scar's sharp attention. "we were worried," he offers, nothing more than a repeat of what scar's just said himself.Ā
tango steps in, pointing out: "you said he was sick. we wanted to check in on him."
--
SCAR
Scarās ears droop at Grianās clear inability to recognize the concept. But frankly, he doesnāt blame him.
With a sigh, Scar scans the three of them again, looking them over for any sign of trouble, but he notes a distinct lack of anything, which makes him frown.
āSo, what? Did you bring medicine?ā he asks rhetorically, because he knows the answer. āSoup? Blankets? Bath salts?ā
His eyes narrow with each question.
--
OTHERS
there's a very clear faltering across the whole group. they exchange glances, slightly nervous.Ā
"iā weā" mumbo stammers, face flushing. he's suddenly feeling very uneasy. chastised. he stares at the bundle scar's holding, what he at first was so sure was a distressed avian probably really just a feverish one, and it makes him deflate. he didn't think past the anxiety enough to consider that scar might be telling the truth. (he's still not sure. he still needs to see grian, properly. he still wants to check.) (but the scales of probability are tipping in a way that makes him feel off balance and out of place.)
impulse sighs. he didn't have time to stop them long enough to ask them to be sensible and bring something for grian if he truly is sick. he is here as a chaperone andāoh boy is he glad he came. he can't imagine how this would've panned out otherwise.
"you weren't replying on the comms," tango soldiers through, still frowning, still a touch confrontational. he doesn't like the way scar's looking at him. doesn't like all his sharp edges. doesn't like the feeling that scar's still hiding something. "we didn't know what you need." he pulls slightly back, straightening up. "do you need anything?" he challenges. there already was a soup delivery by the front door, and it certainly doesn't seem like they're low on blankets.
--
SCAR
āI was a little preoccupied,ā Scar replies dryly, frustrated that heās still being questioned. āIād think itās customary to bring at least some sort of gift,ā Scar continues to pry, not letting it go. Not letting it slide that they clearly came here out of fear instead of assistance. āBut sure, sure, we certainly wouldnāt say no to some minty bath salts or some tea leaves.ā
Scar briefly wonders if thatās all it would take to make this unwelcome trio leave. He doubts it.
āOr, you know, some peace and quiet so he can get some rest,ā Scar concludes, tight jawed and eyebrows furrowed. At least his eyes are back to green.
--
OTHERS
mumbo recognises that they're being thrown out, but it just makes him dig his heels in. "we can bring some tea, butā but scarā"
it's tango who breaks this line drawn in the sand again, encroaching on a minefield territory. "we still haven't seen grian." because this sliver they can see right now doesn't count. it doesn't say anything about whether or not grian's hurt, underneath it all. even if grian begs for scar to be close. honestly, tango doesn't consider grian the best judge of that right now. unhealthy attachments exist!
--
SCAR
Scar exhales through his nose, slow and barely steady.Ā
Reluctantly, he lowers his wing, allowing an unobstructed gaze, though he makes no effort to close the distance between them. He doesnāt want that line broken.
āā¦happy?ā
--
GRIAN / OTHERS
grian registers scar's wing falling away, and it makes him feel oddly exposed. grian isn't sure to whom; scar said their flock isn't here, but that they're safe. still, he ducks, hiding his face in scar's chest. that way, he can pretend he's still shielded. that way, he can pretend the world can't hurt him. (the way he can feel scar's breaths is just a nice, soothing bonus. scar's right here, alive, right next to him. perfectly in reach, as grian's fingers tug at him.) (he closes his eyes, willing the surroundings to stop tipping around them. his feathers fluff up lightly.)Ā
mumbo makes another strangled noise, and he moves as if to stand up, compelled to go closer. to check. toāĀ
to be there.Ā
grian's his friend, and there wasn't a time when mumbo wasn't allowed to be near. to take care of him when he feels unwell.
with blankets and grian's wings still firmly in the way, and grian's whole body turned away from them, mumbo still can't see anything. so no, he isn't happy.
"... grian?" he tries, calling out to him, coaxing him to look his way as he gets up to his wobbly feet.
--
SCAR
Scar bristles again, wings twitching as he instinctively growls, low and mercifully non-threatening, but it certainly doesnāt sound that way to an untrained ear.Ā
These are untrained ears.Ā
Scar registers the flinch in varying degrees from all three of them, and his ears twitch, then droop again in shame.
He canāt do this. He canāt let someone else close. It doesnāt matter how fidgety and awkward Mumbo is, Scar doesnāt trust him to come close.
Mumbo who says foolish things; Mumbo who looks at him like a stranger; Mumbo who cares so much that Scar canāt help but feel strangled by it as it weaves around him, passing him by and threatening to smother Grian in his disturbed state.Ā
--
GRIAN / OTHERS
grian makes an inquisitive mewl, a soft and small sound, unworried at scar's growl. he knows it's not threatening, so he just gently prods, inquiring as to what's wrong. what's bothering scar?
pointedly, he doesn't react to mumbo's call at all. as if he didn't even register it.
tango's rising to his feet now, too, but impulse puts a hand on his shoulder.
it doesn't deter tango, and they both stand up. still far away, but in a way the three of them are now towering over kneeling scar, looking down with varying emotions.Ā
"we'll get you some tea," impulse says, quiet, measured. he's looking directly at scar. he's trying to tell him that he sees him. that he doesn't blame him, no matter how stifling and explosive this situation is turning out to be.
"impulse!" tango squeaks, indignant, protesting. "he's hiding something!"
impulse's gaze cuts sharply to tango. "keep your voice down!" he hisses, frowning, then sighs. he understands they're anxious, but lines do need to be drawn.
for grian's sake as well as for scar's.Ā
impulse looks back at scar, tries to soften all the jaggedness from his pooling tension. "do you think you can get him to sleep? rest a little?" he suggests. "we will come back with the tea. if grian's asleepā we can look at him then? so he won't be scared of us?" he bites at his lip, and then adds: "just look. and we can help if you'll need anything else from us, yeah?" it's a gentle proposal, an attempt to find a tightrope that won't send them all careening towards some awful abyss.
--
SCAR
Scar feels so horribly small knelt down like this in front of people that are seemingly hellbent on misinterpreting his every move. His wings fall to the ground at the insinuation of him hiding something once again.
Heās not. Heās hiding Grian maybe, but he was scaredā he asked for help and this is how Scar would helpā¦
Scar trembles under the spotlight of their gazes, even if Impulseās is softer. He feels like he canāt moveā like he isnāt allowed.
āIā¦ I want him to rest,ā Scar agrees weakly, nodding once in exhausted misery. āYouā¦ yeah. You can check on him then.ā
He still hates it. Hates the idea of someone in their nest. Hates that heās still being more or less monitored, hates that he canāt be trusted with what he knows best.
Scar looks down to Grian, eyes big, barely holding back the fear that seeps into that forest green. āCan I take you upstairs? ā¦nest?ā
--
GRIAN / OTHERS
impulse softens further at scar's agreement, hearing the fatigue and defeat in his voice. it makes his heart ache, even more when he thinks about everyone else overlooking that. "alright... thank you, scar," he says gently.
then his eyes flick to find the exit, realising they're going to have to walk past.Ā
"can we... leave? or do you want us to wait until you go first?" impulse checks nervously, gaze jumping between scar and the avian he's cradling. he has a feeling scar doesn't want them here any longer than necessary, but impulse isn't sure if getting closer only for the sake of walking out is what he needs.
"or we can dirt pillar up," mumbo suggests with a nervous little laugh, attempting nonchalance and jokes, even as everything in him still rails against this. he's drawn forward, towards grian, like a moth to a flame. he wants to check him over, touch his skin, care for him. he doesn't realise he's completely disregarding scar in this scenario. doesn't realise he sees him as nothing but a mad guard dog, standing in his way for no reason.Ā
"you're giving up?" tango huffs, tail swishing.Ā
"iā what?" mumbo laughs again, more nervously this time. "we'll be back."
"what, so he can cover up his tracks?" tango pushes, frowning. all too aware that a potion or two are enough to hide most injuries. and an asleep grian can't answer any check-up questions.
it's impulse who growls now. "tango. scar isn't our enemy. he's our friend. maybe you should start treating him as such."
"iā whā butā" tango stammers, completely taken off guard, ears pulling low.
grian, in the meanwhile, reacts to scar's careful, gentle question. his unfocused gaze lifts up, seeking to anchor in familiar green, feeling fragmented and vulnerable and still sick. "nest," he echoes, impossibly sad and hopeful, yearning. he sniffles, not paying their surroundings any attention; the memories still swirl through him, and nothing quite feels real.
nothing but scar.
he tips forward, wraps his arms around scar's shoulders in a weak hug, clinging to him in a position that makes it easy to carry him.Ā
"... can the bucket come with us?" he half-jokes hoarsely.
--
SCAR
Turns out it doesnāt feel good being spoken about like he isnāt right there, and Scar finds himself slumping forward in defeat, misery seeping deep into his bones.
His chest flickers once more, eyes clouded with a blue fog that only fades when Grian wraps his arms around. Grian, who does trust him and is deserving of his love and attention.
Wretchedly, Scar swallows down his anxieties, does his best to ignore the unwelcome surroundings. He doesnāt even provide them an answer, instead leaning down to kiss Grianās (still dreadfully warm) forehead.
āAnything you need, G,ā he croaks, rising on incredibly wobbly feet and hooking the handle of the bucket with his pinky.Ā
Wordlessly, he turns his back to his intruders and begins walking upstairs, unable to bear their presence any longer. His wings flick and tremble, uncomfortable being exposed to what he still inevitably seems as enemies.Ā
(Itās only fair considering how heās actively antagonized.)
āSo sorry about all this moving aroundā¦ā Scar continues murmuring, feeling entirely off balance, but managing to stay steady only because Grian is in his arms. āWeāll get nice and comfy, alright? And our guests can bring the soup in.ā
Thatās the only acknowledgment they get.
--
GRIAN
grian lets out a soft noise at the kiss, a mix of comforted and still absolutely miserable. he isn't sure if he feels hot or cold, and his body aches. the nausea is ever-present, making any move a wretched matter, especially when coupled with his still spinning head.
he tries to hold onto scar a bit firmer, but his strength isn't there. he groans, whimpering. "slow," he pleads, not knowing how else to mitigate this.
he really doesn't want to puke if he can help it. although maybe having it over would feel better than this.
--
SCAR
āSlow,ā Scar parrots, purposely stilling himself for a moment before continuing at a steadier pace. He didnāt realize he was rushing, honestly, but it makes sense.
He wants those eyes off of his back.
He thinks he hears the sound of pillaring blocks, and thatās likely for the best.Ā
āNice and slow,ā he confirms again, trying to keep Grian level once theyāre past the steps.Ā
--
aaaand iāll wrap it up with that. :3
#ange answers#ribbon anon#cw abuse#although it's just an allegation that's incorrect#tagging just to be safe for the mention#you can bug link if u want to dig deeper into scar's feelings in this whole mess <3#i was like: ok grian gets sick and delusional hehe!!#and link hit me so hard with scar angst#sOBS#(love it)#as for grian's fever#it was born from all the stress#we talked about how after they got back to hc scar had a couple of really bad flare ups#as if his body knew it was now safe to finally break down#grian is the same in that regard#he gets sick from stress. now that he safely can y'know#this whole thing would've been so so so much worse if impulse wasn't there#grian and scar were so apprehensive about trying to rebuild the bunker into something else. about the hermits coming over.#but they wanted to try their best#before the sickness hit grian was expressing his anxiety on being a good partner because he has no experience#and the hermits sort of made it sound like he doesn't know what love or relationships should be like#so he wanted scar to tell him about his experiences#oh also i hope u enjoyed the random discord screenshots pfff
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if you think erik is an incel you misunderstood the entire story š„°
#poto#phantom of the opera#phantom#erik#we were talking about this in the discord#and then I saw a recommended post about it#and like#yall#the term incel is a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT VIBE than what erik actually is#just because heās never fucked doesnāt mean heās an incel an incel is a wildly different thing#elizabeth rambles#*
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Being a little freak about Copia in a discord server with my friends >
#we were talking about hunting him for sport if you were wondering#maybe I should make a Copia Fuckers discord server#I think that would be fun#18+ of course š#I need to be set loose#vpyreās verbosity#the band ghost#ghost bc#ghost#copia#papa emeritus iv#cardinal copia
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