#i need some substance to abuse

[courteunuchofdelaware]

They should invent alcohol that is tasteless and odorless. I love the effects of getting drunk, but most alcohol tastes like paint thinner to me.

[venriliz]

why is the concept of showing empathy for drug/alcohol addicts so hard to understand for some ppl? v.v they suffer too sis, that problem has to come from somewhere and i bet most of them would rather not be addicted in the first place. some people don't know what nuance is i swear. am i crazy for having empathy with addicts??? i don't think so.

[stacytea]

okay, lemme just say: Gil-galad, who hated being the king Gil-galad, who had never wanted to be the king in the first place Gil-galad, who was crowned anyway, because there were hardly any finweans left around and the noldor in Beleriand needed a king, just so they can hold onto something, have some semblances of normality in the apocalyptic post-nirnaeth time Gil-galad, who became the high king when he was only 13/14 if we convert to human years, who was barely able to hold back tears in front of crowds as the crown was being placed upon his head Gil-galad, who had been raised by Círdan on Balar, among Teleri, and now he was the number 1 person in a culture that he didn't even feel like was truly his. A culture that so far he had only been taught about, had never participated in. Gil-galad, who politically hardly ever got to make his own decisions, whose role as the king was mostly limited to signing up whatever the parliament needed to validate and who was ascribed the blame whenever an idea backfired Gil-galad, who always wished he could've just lived a simple life on Balar, alongside Teleri, worked on a fishing boat and stuff like that, but instead he was manoeuvred into politics and bureaucracy, and an office that everyone at this point already knew was cursed, overall an enormous amount of responsibility, when he was basically still a child Gil-galad who was handling it all quite well until the third kinslaying happened Gil-galad, who was something like 15/16 in human years when the third kinslaying happened, who then had to face the reality of his reign, which was: he held little to no power. He was just a teenager, put on a throne, so the noldorin power in beleriand didn't seem to be crumbling as badly as it actually was. And he definitely wasn't able to protect his people Gil-galad, who was still doing his best after the third kinslaying, but also he started turning completely self-destructive in his free time. Like, there wasn't a single weekend he wouldn't spend at some party, drinking until he blacked out, taking whatever drugs he could get, getting involved in all kinds of reckless/precarious sexual behaviours Gil-galad, who just wanted someone to show up and take over the kingship , but was aware that all hopes for it had been wiped out when the feanorians attacked Sirion. That any hopes were gone along with Eärendil and his little sons. Gil-galad, whose role was mostly representative, so he had to be present at all kinds of events, no excuses. ,,What do you mean you need a day off? You're the king, ffs!!! Get your hangovered ass over there, it's not like you're going to work'' It pretty much resulted in young Gil-galad quite often showing up in public hangovered/ still lightly drunk/drugged/ overall messy af. And aside from the toll it took on his reputation, like- the king who has some serious troubles with substance abuse is probably easy to be influenced on many matters; it's also the fact that he was crowned to raise the morale among noldor, to message: ,,Look, we still have a king, it's not that bad!" How does it impact the Noldor when they repeatedly see their king barely able to stand upright or retching in some darkened corner? Not well, to say the least. Gil-galad, who felt trapped by the kingship. Gil-galad, who knew there was no way out of it for him, other than by suffering a painful death like basically every one of his predecessors Gil-galad who was being self-destructive and he didn't care about getting hurt because ,,hey, I have no control over my own life anyways :)))'' but also Gil-galad, who grew out of his teenage years and in his early adulthood had some ,,I can't keep living like this" moments , especially after waking up somewhere on the cold ground, feeling like shit and covered in vomit and all other kinds of fluids either his own or someone else's or both

Gil-galad who was in his early twenties (again, converted to human years) and decided to get his life together, because if he's trapped anyway, he can as well try to make it a little less horrible for himself

Gil-galad, who had maybe never got quite the amount of support he needed from Círdan, but Círdan had definitely taught him a lot and enough for him to be able to get by in life and politics

Gil-galad, who started getting his life together in his early twenties, and even if he stayed dangerously close to alcohol/drugs addiction and kept his inclination for partying for the rest of his life, he was actually doing fine

Also sometime after the War of Wrath began, it turned out that Eärendil's sons had made it out alive after all, and maybe it wasn't fixing all Ereinion's problems, but it sure was SOMETHING

[faithfromanewperspective]

just watch your moral puritanism idk. we can simultaneously say ‘mental illness isn’t an excuse or a reason to be an abuser’ and ‘this person is obviously struggling and we can tell by their actions, it’s important we keep anyone they could hurt safe while also approaching with curiosity because that’s the way they’re going to get better, not judgement’

[yuri-for-businesswomen]

i need to consume something or my thoughts consume me

[good-to-drive]

I think we should stop saying Paul was basically a woman and start saying Ringo was basically a woman, not because it's any less stupid but because it's exactly as stupid and much much funnier

[unheavenlybody]

omfg i wish i didnt have social needs . tired of being in pain over the same bullshit loneliness whateverrrr

[ghxst-system]

if self medicating is all u can do for ur mental illness i trust u with that. that can be a hot take for some

i myself self medicate with nicotine because my previous meds fucked me up and the doctors did nothing about it

its not the best for me i know but if flooding my body with dopamine is all i have during a panic attack or a bad trigger? im going to take that

but remember treating things that can harm u [even if it helps] as the final solution to help u when nothing else RIGHT NOW will, u need to eventually find options that wont hurt but help u instead.

[huntershowl]

PERSEPHONE & PARANOIA.

when i start plotting out a ship with someone, sleeping is often one of the first sticking points. safe to say that most people, when they develop a romantic relationship, naturally fall into the habit of sleeping with their partner (in a literal sense as well as others.)

it's not something i talk about in their doc or even that often outside of it, but persephone suffers from sleep paralysis, night terrors, and insomnia. even alone, they're often unable to sleep until it's well into midday, catching a couple of hours at most while hidden away in a spot they're completely sure is secure and unseen. ( one of the reasons she became so dependent on alcohol is that sometimes the only way they can fall asleep is after drinking an irresponsible amount. ) and because the trauma that caused her paranoia was suffered at the hands of another person, the presence of other bodies makes the prospect of sleeping even more difficult than it already was.

that is to say, persephone is incapable of sleeping in the same space as another person. this is the case whether we're talking about the same bed, the same room, or the same house/unit.

it takes a lot of work to begin to rectify this, along with a TON of trust, time and patience. by trust, i mean complete trust — not only persephone knowing for a fact that the other muse won't turn around and ambush her in the night, but also knowing that they could protect themselves (and her, in the event they're keeping watch while she rests) if someone tried. this most often comes with a heavily plotted and very specific Type of romantic relationship. it happens faster with some muses than with others, depending on how physically safe seph feels with them (ie. their general power level and their history with seph.)

sleep isn't the only way their paranoia manifests, however. it's the reason she sticks to traveling by rooftop, alone — being on ground level makes them genuinely believe (not just feel like) they're being watched. it's also the reason they don't stay in the same place for more than one night: they travel between out-of-the-way, ramshackle, abandoned apartment units (i call them her hideouts) each evening, and though she usually doesn't sleep the whole night (or at all), she still uses that particular hideout as her base until morning.

if someone learns the address to one of their hideouts, or if they have to take another person there, it's considered compromised, and they abandon it as soon as possible. they haven't stayed/slept in their actual apartment since returning from their disappearance.

lastly, when persephone agrees to meet up with someone, or goes on a job with a partner from the unseen, they prefer to travel alone and meet up at rendezvous points. this allows them agency and privacy in travel; they can move around by rooftop without worrying about another presence with them.

note: all of this applies to her life after her two-year disappearance. ( so roughly 5 years ago through present-day / early 20s to mid/late 20s in age.) beforehand, despite still being a very independent kid, seph was a lot more comfortable spending idle time, sleeping, etc. around other people. she and orion were together more often than not, they'd seek friends out when bored, and you could pat her on the shoulder without her trying to kick your teeth in on pure reflex. KJSHDJHSD

[teethpaste]

I never should’ve let mustached love bomber back in , he is so toxic and unstable and bad for me and it is ADDICTING

Like I eat it up. I feel myself feeling crazy! I know it’s gonna crash and burn by August so I’m like ? Just lean into it? Enjoy it for what it is and know he’s gonna leave and that’s okay. Life is short like I may just have 1 month of fun, right? Right?

[byanyan]

byan disappears for two days but instead of emerging strung out and skittish like usual, their hands and arms are covered in paint and ink stains and they're a little distant but hungry as hell

[piplupod]

showing SOOOO much restraint by not asking about "well what does somebody do for coping if they are in an inescapable abuse situation?" and also for not getting upset when the dbt teachers say that [REDACTED] inescapable situation is a bad example to use for the DBT skill actually because it's too dark and sends the wrong message. hi um. i am in an inescapable situation currently. i would like some coping skills for that. and also maybe do not fucking leave out the dark stuff just because "oh nobody here would be dealing with that" :))))

[lconoclasts]

[borealis-hopping]

Going through the Jack Stauber tag for the first time tonight and what the fuck do you mean mirror man from "Opal" is a Tumblr sexy man.

What do you mean everyone is drawing him as this bland ass fucking normal ass white anime looking guy????

Huh. Why are people drawing wine mom like that. What.

Why is there a fandom for this, and why does nobody seem to give a shit about the actual short. Huh.

[bcofl0ve]

kaia not posting not reposting or even liking photos from charlotte's party just adds to my theory that she/they (no pics of austin too) want to keep that party private lollololol, not that the drugs were secrets charlotte posted in her stories but maybe not to create headlines? idk or maybe im just thinking too much?? 😭

lmfkfddkj you mean c's story with the shrooms??? i caught that and giggled lolol but yeah you might be onto something. which is mildly silly bc this is the year of our lord 2023 and i think anyone who genuinely believes there are hollywood parties free of substances is living under a rock. but. but. there was that kaia and char interview from years ago where kaia looked ready to lunge over the couch at her for even vaguely talking abt drinking when they were both under 21 so maybe old habits die hard haha.

[enderspawn]

I hate adhd bitches will have a 5-8 page essay due in 6 hours they have barely started and be like “hm i wanna write some poetry rn” like go write yourself some hoes!!!!!